#and 2) he didnt think anyone would hear and question him

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

masterpost of alhaitham being endeared by kaveh because im so tired of this behaviour

the 1 second kaveh is in the archon quest

the two times alhaitham indirectly mentions him in the archon quest (isn’t it something to be totally normal about that alhaitham is the only character to mention or hint to kaveh and yet alhaitham asks kaveh where he was when SUMERU needed him the most okay)

it is embarrassing you got caught musing aloud about your missing roommate, he’s verbally scribbling hearts and initials in the corners of his notebooks

kaveh returning home being linked to alhaitham’s happiness? It’s extremely likely because it happened, this is a thing that exists and we have to live with it

[stellardeer]

TL;DR - How would you kick someone out of your house without involving police? and Should you?

My no-note blog is probably not the best place to ask this question, but maybe someone will come along and answer, who knows.

So in the ideal circumstance that we abolish the police, I've been wondering about a specific scenario. Say there is a person in your home, for whatever reason, who has no legal right to be there, and you do not want them there (again, for whatever reason) but they refuse to leave and you want to forcibly remove them from your home.

Most people nowadays would threaten to call the cops on them, and usually that alone is enough to get people to leave. I've never actually had this problem myself, but I've known numerous people who've talked about these kinds of situations (and coincidentally they were all middle class, if that tells you anything...) I, personally, would think twice (or a million times) about calling the cops on someone, especially if the person in question is particularly vulnerable to police brutality. So, even if the police aren't abolished, I still want to know the proper alternative to handle this kind of situation.

I'm a pretty weak, easily overpowered person, so my first instinct would be to like.. call someone I know or go get a strong neighbor or something to help me get this person off of my property.

I know that the specifics of the situation also play a key role here, too, on how to handle it. Like, if the person is reasonable, I would hope that just telling them to leave would get them to go - easy enough. But if they refuse to move.. what do I even do? If it's someone that I know very well, I might think to take a break and just walk away from them and hope we can sort things out once we've calmed down. If it's someone that I don't know very well, though, (not even necessarily an intruder, but just say someone who is overstaying their welcome) and especially if tensions are not even high, I wouldn't really know what to do. Some states even have squatters rights, so like.. sometimes you literally CAN'T do anything about this person being in your home, and in some cases they can even get you kicked out. I think it's kind of obvious that if the person clearly has violent intentions towards me, then I have a right to defend myself, but again, I am not going to be able to do that by myself, and I don't know what the legalities are around asking for help from another citizen, i.e. not a cop, if someone means to do you harm?

And what if you do ask for help and your helper ends up injuring the person in the process of trying to get them out?? I'd imagine it's still better than calling a cop, and risking getting a life-ruining criminal record, or worse, shot and killed. But I'd also imagine there could be grounds for them to sue if they get injured by the helper since the helper is not a professional of any kind and not protected in anyway. Only some states have protections against self defense anyway, and I don't know if it even counts if you invited the person into your home willingly and they weren't being violent to begin with. Like.. if they person is just stubbornly standing there and then your burly neighbor puts hands on them first, I don't think that even counts as self defense for the homeowner? At that point if the person fights back then they have a case for self-defense.

And I don't know what the leftist attitude is towards personal property like that anyway, like should we even have a right to our own home? I don't know the leftist view on that, I get the idea that individualism is not the move, but like.. do we still have our own personal space? Space that we are allowed to bar others from entering? Even if that space extends to the entirety of a 2-bedroom home? I'm asking sincerely, because I really haven't read enough socialist theory, so I don't know what the opinions are on home ownership in general. Like in an ideal society, would we supposedly just allow the person to stay for as long as they like, as long as they aren't hurting anything? That's another part of it, like what if they aren't doing any harm but I still don't want them there? Am I wrong for wanting them to leave, even if I don't know them? Supposing even if they are an intruder, if they haven't stolen anything or hurt me or my animals, but they just... won't leave, should I even be mad about that?

But again, forget an ideal society, let's take it back to reality, assuming that I live in the US and the laws are exactly the same as they are in this moment, police are not abolished, but I am choosing to not involve the police in this matter... what is the right thing to do???? Should I just resolve myself to accept that this person lives with me now?? I don't even live in a state with squatters rights, so I don't legally have to, but.. should I? (more thoughts and anecdotes if the tags if you feel like reading)

[sureallavnder]

mine - Theodore Nott

You and Theo had been dating for the best part of your time at hogwarts, now being in your final year everyone knew better than to flirt with you not because you were taken but because Theo would most likely beat them up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

It was a dusty grey afternoon at Hogwarts and Theo had been gripping your thighs and waist all day. Finally taking a break to light a cigarette he turned around as to not hit you with the intense cloud.

But just as he did that, Ravenclaw Jude from your Transfiguration class beckoned you to come over and thinking nothing of it, as you knew him quite well, you told Theo you'd be right back and that you were just going to the otherside of the courtyard.

Thing is Theo knew better and waited to see if what he thought was about to happen would come true.

As you made your way over to where the Ravenclaw boy was leaning against the cold stone pillars.

''You look bloody beautiful'' he said quite bravely knowing Theo was staring at him intensley.

''...Thanks i guess'' you replied a bit confused

Jude made his way towards you aiming to put a hand on your waist.

You couldn't quite believe he was doing this especially with your boyfriend standing just across the stones.

Theo saw this move and after puffing from his cigarette to make sure he didnt kill the guy, stormed over. Spinning you round to face him, he grabbed your jaw with every intention, and forcefully pressed his lips onto yours roughly making out with you.

But Theo wasn't done his hand made its way to your ass and he gripped as hard as he could making sure to leave bruises for you to see the next day.

''mine'' he growled in your ear but loud enough for Jude to hear him.

With a huff the fed up Ravenclaw walked away.

''Theo what on earth?'' you questioned him.

''Well,'' he said thinking ''you're mine and he was hitting on you. Can't be letting anyone think they can get away with it... especially you.'' he groaned the last part to make it very clear he was going to teach you a lesson later.

part 2 18+

[i-cant-sing]

IMAGINE THE KAMO CLAN WANTS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE ZENIN

so they offer that noritoshi (who is secretly in love with teen!fushiguro reader) marry her, the zenin and the kamo have made this type of alliance for years, it is totally normal for them

but definitely the kamo did not wait for naoya to come to his house shouting that no kamo spawn is going to sully his sweet daughter---- NIECE

when the others hear the news, toji, gojo, nanami, megumi, mai and maki arrive, ALSO SUKUNA WHO TOOK POSSESSION OF YUJI'S BODY

poor noritoshi

AHahaha yesss, I mean the elders just wanted to form an alliance, and neither clan really knew just how strong Fushiguro reader was as a toddler, so it was right to arrange a marriage for you.

As a child, Noritoshi didnt really care much for you, especially since he had battles of his own- being born to a mistress, being the heir of the clan because the head wife couldnt bear sons so, he has to deal with that.

But youre adorable and you grow on anyone, even the Zenin clan, so when toddler Fushiguro reader meets 9 year old Noritoshi, the latter only thinks of you as a spoiled brat at first. And why wouldnt he? Youre running around barefoot in the garden, dressed in sparkly pink hello kitty pjs with servants chasing after you, with Naoya screaming from the shed that he'll lock you up if he catches you grabbing his million dollar koi fish.

Noritoshi's disgust is quite understandable when you come upto him, hair disheveled, face sweaty, and you stick your muddy hand to his face.

"Hi! Im Y/n Fushiguro!" "ZENIN! Y/N ZENIN!" Naoya yells before dragging you away for training (Naoya didnt want you to meet your future husband).

As time goes on, Noritoshi would be sent to the Zenin estate on different errands (by this point, the Kamo clan has heard rumors of your powers and now want Noritoshi to go and woo you, which is a huge task since Noritoshi isnt someone who is able to express emotions, much less romantic ones). But even though he might not be able to express his emotions, doesnt mean his heart hasnt turned soft for you. Youre pollar opposite to him, loud, energetic, carefree- and yet Noritoshi cant help but feel that you... sort of complete him. Youre everything hes not and he likes that. Like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together, he completes you too. Hes quiet, calm, realistic- he brings peace to you, especially when youre mind gets overstimulated by- well, you.

How many times has it been that Noritoshi has stopped your panic attacks when you realised that your father Toji, wasnt coming back? How many times has Noristoshi had to pull you into his robes when your cursed energy started to lose control, risking himself just to calm you down and help you control it as his soft monotonous voice guided you through it?

And how many times has it been that Noritoshi would have his terrible day turned around with just you calling him "Nori!"? Or the times he'd be questioning his worth in the clan and all he needed was you to lean your head against his shoulder to feel like a million bucks? Noritoshi would be the type of man who people would think doesnt really care about love and marriage, when in reality, he just spent the entire night listening to you yap about your day, about Hello Kitty, about uncle Naoya, pausing in between to say "hmm, okay its getting late, we should sleep" only to suddenly remember a new topic to ramble on about. And youd think Noritoshi wanst listenting to you with the way hes staring at your face in awe, but really- he remembers every single word. You could quiz him. Its funny listening to man like him talk about Hello Kitty.

When the time comes for you two to actually get married, Naoya throws a fit, and surprisingly, the Zenin clan also doesnt want to marry you off to Kamo clan (or anyone). People opposing the marriage from your side would be the Zenin clan, the twins (who start telling you all the reasons why marriage is a trap and youd be dead in 2 days.), Gojo (he just chuckles and tells you not to worry because he wont let you be forced into marriage), Nanami (my man wholeheartedly believes youre being a victim of child marriage, BUT NOT ON HIS WATCH! GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS OF U LIKE THAT- just sit in his condo and eat the sandwhich he made for you. And dont argue.), Megumi (who doenst get why he wasnt ever informed that you, his baby sister, was in an arranged marriage, and why the hell didnt Noritoshi try to get his blessings/permission considering THAT HES YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER??? Also, no- youre not marrying Kamo) and then... theres Sukuna (if you thought Naoya threw a fit, youre in for A WORLD OF TANTRUMS AS SUKUNA SCREAMS AND MOST LIKELY KILLS WHOEVER IS IN A MILE VICINITY, just to let off some steam and calm down before he talks to you and REMINDS YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO MARRY HIM! HAVE YOU BEEN PROPOSING TO EVERY GUY YOU MET?)

People supporting this union would be all from Noritishi's side, including- the Kamo clan, Choso Kamo (cause ofc, youre just a precious baby like Yuji, and with you being part of the clan means he can protect u better), and surprise surprise Kenjaku (because youd be strong addition to the clan and then you and Nori will have babies with SUPER STRONG CURSED ENERGY AND HE'LL ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION).

Anyways, its a sticky situation and it all comes down to you really. Do you want to marry Noritoshi or not?

[the-moon-files]

Linked Universe / GN!Reader - Random Headcanons abt the Chain! :)

Part 1 / Part 2 (ur here!) / Part 3

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Hyrule, Time, Fierce Deity, Twilight, Warriors

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: light cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

☆

Hyrule (The Legend of Zelda - OG game, Zelda II: Adventures of Link):

Lost easily, obviously, you know this

What you didnt know was that its very easy to get lost with him

Bc he's so excited/curious for new sights he doesnt give any fucks abt where he is, so it devolves into that "wait, I thought YOU were leading us there?? Then where tf are we??!!" very quickly

Does feel bad he stressed u out smtimes but he somehow manages to get into such wild shit that Hyrule's kinda preoccupied being confused/amazed/finding his way out, or any combo of these situations (once again, usually with you unfortunately)

Is the luckiest when it comes to getting lost or anything to do with "natural" things

Like he heard u rlly like this one fruit? Accidentally gets lost all day and panics all the Links + You until he shows up at midnight with a shirtful of them

("I found a few fruit trees/plants in the woods while wandering! I tried to grab a few for you and before I knew it, it was dark, sorry...")

Likes learning little skills from other people, like learning how to do makeup from Legend, or how to spot collections of rupees the Minish have left somewhere from Four, or how walk on any terrain from Wind (good at walking on a ship, on land, climbing etc)

More of a "sunset" hiker than a "sunrise" one

Likes to do your hair! Whether that be braiding, putting accessories (he handmade shhh) thruout it, or helping with hair maintenance, likes how strangely intimate but domestic it feels together with you (u return the favor ofc)

(All the other heroes are looking at you both like kicked puppies jfcccc🙄)

Time (Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask):

Gets anxious if he's late to things, likes being fashionably early (or ungodly, when u let him get away with it)

Has absolutely been that meme from Parks and Recreation where he's like "Alright. I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Who broke it?"

(Abt the coffee pot for the camp)

Knowing full and well-

"I broke it. It burnt my coffee for the 3rd morning in a row, so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a moblin head on a stick. ...good. It was getting a little chummy around here."

MF LOVES GOSSIP (wouldn't admit this even at swordpoint)

Wars has absolutely been the person in the meme of:

Wars: "...why would you tell me this??"

Time: "Bc no one will ever believe you."

Wars: ...😦

Has a resting bitch face and knows it, actively cultivates it, scary dog privileges for you,

Type to take ur side in whatever situation ur in, even when Time has no idea whats going on, always, without question <3

The same height as First, (Twi's a close 2nd), and feels most secure when the 3 of you are at the front of the group, but First/Time are slightly in front of you

Like ur literally the person walking their 2 huge scary doobermans/mastiffs one leash in each hand basically 💀

(Once again, Link is deeply comforted by ur voice just over his shoulder/just hearing u even without seeing you)

Very subtly sarcastic, u dont even know he made a dig at you until 3-5 business days later

Likes ur sarcasm more than anyone else's in the group, or even his own lol

Fierce Deity (Majora's Mask):

Likes music, any music (amused at drunk karaoke)

Casually cradles ur arms or back whenever ur falling asleep/tripping/being clumsy near him

Very warm and smoothed calloused hands

Thinks abt what he's about to say so hard/long, that the conversation's moved on by like, 3 rounds/subject changes by the time he's actually ready to talk

Scolds ppl (in like a sentence) who neglect their needs, like sleeping/eating/hygiene

Finds peace in nature, if hes ever upset, u can bet he's already taking a walk by a stream

Likes teaching u/other Links little skills he has, its nice to feel appreciated/needed for something other than fighting or big moments

He falls in love with small moments, like the first time u made them all a dessert recipe from ur world, or repaired First's scarf (for the millioneth time) and bc everyone had gotten their clothes scratched up, everyone needed repairs so most Links were sewing smth lol

Enjoys watching ppl experience smth for the first time, or even himself exp smth for first time

Fierce smiled fully for the first time when you got into the mountain hot springs in Wild's Hyrule for the first time and were super excited

Also the type to hold ur hand while stepping in to make sure u dont fall, or just subtly boost a Link that was abt to fall from climbing smth

Like for being the tallest, he's surprisingly sneaky, the energy of the biggest cat in the house yet somehow also the quietest

Does that thing where someone takes ur hand and like massages ur fingers, palm, wrist and shakes them out kinda for you <3

Twilight (Twilight Princess):

Trips UP the stairs.

Cold start LMAO

ok ill be nice to him,, sike

Easy to bully?? U mean that kindly, he's just such a golden retriever sometimes u cant help urself (tho u make sure to reign it in and not take advantage of it so as not to genuninely hurt him)

Lol likes to "herd" his favorite people, like those dogs livestock farmers have u kno that they say end up herding their owners/their family lol

Like making subtle circles around the Chain, wrapping an arm around Hyrule and teasing him to quietly bring him back into the group before he gets lost,

Tugs on Time's armor to slow him down, mf may be in armor head to toe but he'll outpace all of u 💀

Likes to put his hand on ur lower back to guide u back into the group from whatever scenic thing u got distracted by

(so sue you, ur literally in The Legend of Zelda's Hyrule, surrounded by pretty blondes, why tf wouldnt you be distracted all the time??)

The only time he doesnt herd actively is in Ordon, just subconciously lol <3

Terrible sleep schedule, but sleeps like the dead when he does, has collapsed with a limb on top of you and u couldnt escape

Hard time waking up in the morning despite being country boy, who usually have to do chores first thing in morning on a farm

hates/envious of Wild (up at 5am even on days off?? Foul.)

Runs warm, but complains abt a slight breeze?

Would sleep with no covers if it werent for morning dew

Wishes cats liked him more (its the wolf smell)

Twi has the constant energy of a tall person carefully maneuvering around cluttered/low doorways while someone a head shorter runs by him and bounces off of him

U get onto/scold the Links and he's immediately the first to just sit on the ground, or put down whatever he's holding no matter what he's doing LMAO 😭😭

Keeps his eyes on u too the whole time lol

Warriors (Hyrule Warriors):

Cries over romance novels/dramas

A virgo in all stereotypes of the word tbh

Invented the red-string conspiracy theory board before the red-string conspiracy board existed in Hyrule

Also likes to take care of your hair! (What?? He and 'Rulie don't fight over ur hair, that'd be childish, he's not a foolish boy- Hyrule, hand over the brush.👹)

Remembers the little things abt u type of person, like ur favorite drink, ur favorite stories like tv shows/books even if theyre from ur world, ur favorite clothing pieces like shorts vs. pants, etc.

The only Link who can single handedly claim he could take your closet and dress you in something you'd actually wear.

Honestly once he got the hang of it, would get better at dressing you, than you

(Another domestic thing he adores, picking outfits for u/finding that perfect piece of clothing you've been needing lately)

Born to night-owl, forced to morning-bird 😔

Wars wakes up stiff sometimes bc soldier training is sleeping on ur back, hands to ur sides, laying straight in ur bed, so as to fit into bunks/bedrolls close together

It got better as he was promoted to Captain, so he could have his own quarters but its still a hard habit to shake

One of the few Links who works up the courage to genuinely pitfully ask if you'd mind massaging his shoulders again? He slept badly last night, please?? 🥺👉👈

(Ur so weak for pathetic hurting pretty blonde twinks lol)

The most lowkey abt taking care of Chain, but u make sure to take care of him as a gift back, and you've definitely caught him tearing up abt it 💖

☆

Debated writing smth else first but figured this was easy and short and i started it first so youll have to wait like one more post before more Masc Reader stuff guys 😔

Dw its coming, i havent abandoned u my homies out there 🫂

Let me know what u think in the comments of my slight characterizations here!

Im struggling to conceptualize their personalities so thats acc part of why i started to write smaller stuff like this first! :)

Peace out,

🌙

[reasaph]

"I don't believe in God, but I believe that your my savior."

Soshiro Hoshina x Suicidal Fem Reader!

Summary: (name) a person with no beliefs, no reason and will to live gets hospitalized after another attempt. There, she meets hoshina soshiro and she's been looking forward to waking another morning since.

TW:mention of death, reader got hospitalized for attempting, mention of bedrotting.

Title is from the song "sailor song" by Gigi Perez!

Part 2!

You and Soshiro talked for hours, the cans of the coffee he's got you both long forgotten and moist. To say they were the most comfortable hours of your life wouldn't be an exaggeration. Your sure hes got you hooked. Humbly, you ask anyone; be it fate or any god. You wish, you beg, you 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 to whoever in charge to extend the hours with him. One minute more to bask in his presence, thats it. You've never desired something so much that you decided to pray. That was something you never thought you'd do. You didnt dwell your whole personality on just a mere belief. But he's got you on your knees, hands claspped with eyes screwed shut, asking for another more minute.

"So so, what d'ya do you think the doctors here do on their free time?" A silly and deranged question. From the short time you'd spend with him, not even a day Long, you had keeped count of those incoherent questions of his. You dont know if he was doing it On purpose, but those questions are the ones That sat you here on this bench fo hours.

"well, This is a tiring job. So they'd probably want as much rest, right?"

"Probably, Your right. I like to think they gossip about patients."

"Thats completely unprofessional."

He laughs. You laugh to, and you dont evem realize it. The vibrating echo of Your laughter didnt sound forced this time, it didn't need to be ripped and snatched out of your throat. It was sincere, you could say it would only be with him. This is new, clutching your stomach in futile attempt to control the laughs that keep escaping, incredibly new. You dont even know what your laughing at anymore, you just are. Hoshina had stopped making noise the moment you did. It was his first time hearing someone laugh like that, so raw and free. He could tell your unfamiliar with the sound of your own happiness, it wasnt rocket science. He feels like he'd just unveiled an artifact, so precious even when kept and hidden for centuries. It would mean the world to him if he could keep making you laugh like this. He didn't say anything, he'd be so guilty if he interupped you at your highest.

But all good things must come to an end. You know that the most. Your familliar with the bitterness that comes after everything worth hanging on to. It all seemed to short, even now. The moment Hoshina checked the time, you knew what was coming next, you could smell it a mile away. Yet you still hopped you were wrong, you dont want this conversation to end just yet. You dont want to face everything head on again. That face he made told everything, it screamed 'i have to go' and it wrathed over your chest. You dont want him to go, you dont want to leave the comfortable atmosphere with him. And above all, you dont wanna feel like an empty walking corpse once more. Hoshina turned to face you, a mourning look adorned his features. That was a new expression of his you've witnessed, you've only seen him giddy and silly until now. Now, he looks upset. You know your time with him is over for today.

"Hey, (name), really sorry but I hafta go now. That smug of a doc said I have prescriptions to take." Thats odd, why is he apologizing? Could he perhaps feel the same agony as you? You believe its impossible, but not because you think he doesn't care. Because he cant possibly match the ache in your chest. He cant, for its to much to even put into words. He hasn't even moved from his seat yet you already long to be in his presence again. Hoshina is sad, yes, but you are 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥.

"Its fine, I really uh— enjoyed talking to you."

"Hey now, dont say it like we wont see each other again. Yer still treating me tomorrow, dont forget about that now. "

"Right."

You guys parted ways after waving goodbye and mumbling 'see you'. The walk back to your hospital room, you felt even more empty and hollow each step your feeble legs took you. Because each step signicates a meter added to the distance between you and him. You dont know where Hoshina is right now, you cant pinpoint his exact location in this big of a hospital and If you could strap a beacon on him, you would. Your chest boils once again, you could feel your lungs close to giving in. It was hell all over again, yet this time, the pain your experiencing is caused by longing. Not because of something so unpleasant, but because of something beautiful. Beautiful, despite being so painful. You pass by many people on the way back, patient and worker alike. You wished you'd pass by a man with a purple bowlcut instead.

You arrived to your own quarters and just collapsit, headfirst on the hospital bed, burrying rour face onto the pillow. It smelled alcholic, to much chemicals used to cleanse it. You inhaled a breath full despite it, the smell left a blazing path in your nostrils, on their way to Polute your lungs. You laid back up right, now met with the pristine material of the crystal white ceiling. Why does every hospital have to be white? Its always so blinding. Not to mention your now having a staring contest with the very source of light in the room, that antagonizing light bulb. It'll turn off automatically at a certain time, but you want it to close now. The darkness was always your comfort, there you were able to lay yourself bare without anyone having to see you.

Your mind wanders back to Hoshina, it seems he put a leash on you as to why you keep thinking about him for more than a normal amount for just a day. You dont wanna be where you cant see him, you wanna hear his sickenly joyous voice and his flashing smile that outshines even the farthest of stars, you wanna talk nonsense with him again, his nonsense never failed to Lift the corners of your mouth to a smile. And you will, tomorrow.

Tomorrow, 8 am. Thats the time you've both agreed upon. Usually, you wouldn't get up until late in the afternoon, just rotting on your bed, the walls would always cave in and the atmosphere was suffocating. You never got up. There was no good reason to, you almost convinced yourself to throw all common sense and self hygiene out the window and just get buried rotting on your bed. Because every time you'd get up, it feels like every misfortune of the whole globe are dumped on your shoulders. It weighs you down, it weighs you back on that sickenly sweet mattress and there you stay there until the next blue moon.

But now, you want to drift to sleep faster and when you wake, your ready to meet Hoshina again. Your so eager to see him, it cant be controlled. His face is the only thing you'd never get tired of. You think its hilarious, you've only met him but you were sure he could mean more. This isn't just some high school crush, your confident about your feelings towards him for you've never felt something this intense your whole uears of living. Not even your longing of death can overrun this feeling. You sew your eyes tight, seeing only pitch black, all this so you could finally sleep and who knows? Maybe even see him in the phantasms of your unconscious state of mind. Thats how low you've stooped. You'll sleep so you can see him faster, you dont like waiting long.

Eventually, you do fall asleep. But not Hoshina. Yes, he's still awake, in his own room, fresh bandages wrapped around his injuries he got from fighting. And yes, if your wondering, hes thinking about you to. He yearns to be in your presence as well, almost as much as you. He doesn't know why. He talks with everyone like that, but he's enjoyed his time with you exceedengly more. Hoshina has been put aside his whole life, all because of his talent and preference for blades over guns. Just because of one measly difference, he was treated differently and looked down upon. But with you, he felt cherished. Its a first for Hoshina to not get judged by first meeting. He doesn't have to train hard or change anything to impress you, it'll come naturally. Hoshina turns around on the matress, facing the window so the ripe rays of the moonlight slapped on his face in result. 'I wants to see her again' was the last thing he talked about before falling asleep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Its 6 in the morning and your half awake. You woke up to early, just how excited are you? But its not a good thing that theres still alot of time before the agreed upon time. You just know that the next 2 hours will double tenfold when waiting to see Hoshina again. Your not a morning person, not at all. Your regular routine is not for the faint of heart. If some woke up at 6am, you'd be turning off Your phone and tucking yourself to bed. So your shocked by your eagerness to see him, to the point where you'll try to get better. Your convinced Hoshina has hit you with a pan, because your aacting absolutelyInsane.

You brush your teeth and hair, and thoroughly clean your bruises as to the doctors said. You wonder when you gonna get discharged but thats for later, dear reader. You dread the fact that you have to wear that awful hospital gown again, but alas, it is required. You try to look as presentable as you can. You usually wouldnt bother putting effort in your physical appearance, but you figured it would be nice for once. You were sat on a chair, waiting impatiently like a child waiting for they're treat. You were milimeters close to just turning the Whole building upside down just so you can see Hoshina.

So imagine how excited you were when the clock had acutely hit the digit 8. The minute it did, you were busting out of the room, with your injured leg by the way. The pain had seemingly went away and healed, or it was Just overpowered by your giddyness that your nerves didn't have the space to make up for physical pain. So here you were, dragging yourself across these hallways once again. You passed by that same old lady on a wheel chair that you did yesterday. She gave you a judging face back then, which a wasn't such rare occurrence, you were used to having such glares dumped upon the entirety of your shameful being. But now you wondered if she found any difference, between the walking dead body you were yesterday and the eestatic, hungry, affection driven limp you are now.

Whilst you were rushing like you were catching up to a work deadline, he was enjoying his walk through these glossy, hauntingly white hallways. Taking each step according to the comfort of his legs, hands crossed on the broadness of his chest as he struts the hallway. Soshiro Hoshina has always been scary great at maintaining his composure. Those under his wing back at the third division are well aware of it, they have front row seats to how he switches from acting all goofy to having a stoic face in a matter of miliseconds, they even kidded around about how his control over his expressions is the work of witchcraft. However, don't be fooled by his calm demeanor, he's excited to see you as well. But as Vice-captain, it wouldn't be very ideal to him if he just jogged as fast as he can in patient filled hhallway. Hoshina disciplined himself to the bone, he wont let up now.

After what seemed like an eternity of turning corners and navigating his way through these hallways, Hoshina finally sees sight of the cafeteria. He steps in, and the homogenous smell of the food slaps him in the face. If he was weird enough to concentrate and differentiate the aroma, he probably can guess whats on the menu for today. Hoshina wastes no time in trying to find your presence, your presence in which he couldn't get enough of yesterday. His head startes whipping around, turning left to right, right to left in search of a peek of your appearance. He was baffled to say the least, shocked at the population of the people present here this morning. He wants to see you, asap. He started walking to those with even with the slightest resemblance of what your physical appearance looks like, in hopes that it would be you. He saw someone with the same hair color as yours, kinda fooled him there for a brief second. He just kept circling around the vastful room, so distracted in finding you. He doesn't wanna merely sit down and wait, conclude that your not here yet and he should just sit tight. Scarlet eyes scanned the whole cafeteria, but eyes always had blindspots where they provided no visuals, thats why he didn't notice your presence coming up from his south.

You tapped his shoulder from behind.

He doesn't think hes ever whipped his head back that fast his whole life. Hoshina turned his head so urgently he swears he heard a subtle pop in his neck. Upon seeing the sight of your face, he was 'joyous', actually thats underwhelming what Hoshina was feeling at the moment, he was euphoric. His skin feels like its being roasted and his lungs are short of gas. He feels weird, he doesn't know what to do or what to say so hoshina just stood there agape. You didn't move a muscle either, mouth zipped shut with no intention of letting put any sort of noise in fear that he'd back away. You didn't dare try to make a distance, everything else caved in, nothing else mattered, just the one in front of you. He looked so right, and by that you dont mean he's handsome (although he surely is very attractive). By 'right' you mean you'd never get tired of his appearance.

Hoshina Soshiro, to you, is the finest work of art exhibited in museum of life, the most astounding creation of matter you've laid your eyes upon.

Oh shit, you like him, the Hoshina Soshiro.

[myabsurddreamjournal]

Fate (part 5)

Soldier boy x Fem! Reader

Summary: Reader is a scientist who is forced to work at lab that they keep soldier boy frozen, she talks and cries to him when she is alone, thinking he can't hear her but he hears everything.

....

it was their first week here, the cheap motel room they booked with her money.

the walls were gray and a bit dirty, there was two beds and a small tv, and microwave. It was maybe one of the worst motel rooms in the city but felt like heaven for her after 2 years spent in lab.

For Ben, well he didn't say much, She realized shortly after coming here. Well there were times, where he speaked and even joked, asking her questions or answering her questions. But it was limited. whenever she asked something about his past, or he remembered something, He would suddenly stop talking and stare at wall without blinking, deep in thought. Afraid of triggering his PTSD, she kept her mouth shut even she wanted to listen and talk to him about it.

He was outside in the first day, coming back with his bag looking heavier at evening, saying he paid a visit to old friend. She didnt asked what was in the bag, thinking he would show it sooner or later.

At night they laid side by side in the beds. Almost 1 meter between them. She would think that he will be vanished in the morning, that he was a dream.

but he was there everytime. Looking at her sometimes. Sometimes asleep. She evem felt him adjulsting her blanket one night, Covering her feet. She felt no fear, which was so weird for her, not being afraid of someone who would explode at any second. And it confused her,

somethings about her confused Soldier Boy too.

......

She was applying makeup, a cheap eyeliner and lipstick, that she bought from a store today, after seeing her reflection on the mirror for the first time, she felt a bit self concious around Ben. Her skin were dull from bad diet and lack of sunlight for years. Unlike Ben, who looked perfect even with that hair and beard, or being there for 40 years.

well, he was Soldier Boy after all.

With this thoughts in her mind She applied lipstick on her cheeks too, and liked the effect.

putting down the lipstick, she looked at her hair, It looked lifeless like her skin and grew too long for her taste. She was thinking about cutting it for the last 2 or 3 days.

She decided to do it. picking up the scissor from counter. And started.

.......

After about half and hour, While she was cleaning the sink Soldier Boy knocked the door firmly.

she opened the door:

"-oh, im sorry do you need to use bathroom?" she said looking at him, he was wearing giants t shirt and sweatpants she bought for him from thriftshop, Homelander drink can in his hand. He looked almost normal,

Instead of answering he looked at her face.

Her hair was shorter now, (He never liked on women, thinking it made them look like man.) Her cheeks and lips pink. Eyes brighter.

But it was okay on her, beautiful even. He found himself thinking this often in last days.

But this wasnt like anything he felt before, and it made him so confused, he had affairs with countless women, they literally threw themselves on him. And he was attracted to them. Loved their curves, long hair And their femininity. The way his heart beated fast when they were close to him.

But she...

she was another story.

He didnt really give shit about anyone before, Never felt bad about things he said or did. But he found himself holding back last days. Whenever he was angry around her,

Because he hated the way she jumped in her chair when he raised his voice, angry at news about attacks on the tv.

He never wanted to see her like this.

He wanted to protect her.

He wanted to be close to her (in a different way).

Hide her in his arms from the world that she was so afraid of.

Lost in his thoughts he didnt realize he was staring at her face, and not answering.

-"Ben? are you alright?"

-"Yes doll, i was wondering what were you doing there hiding?"

-"I wasnt hiding, i was cutting my hair."

-"It looks nice"

-"Thank you." she said. Looking at floor.

the silence was awkward, so she smiled at him and got back the cleaning,

After watching her for a while he asked suddenly;

-"You can cut my hair too?"

He wanted her to cut his hair?!, Her heartbeat quickened.

Hearing it, Soldier Boy smiled softly. She blushed harder when she remembered that he was hearing it.

-"y-yes sure i used to cut my brothers hair all the time. You want me to cut it now?"

-"Yes doll."

-"Okay, you need to sit here." she pointed the old chair.

He walked towards it, her heartbeat was getting quicker.

-"calm down doll im not gonna eat you."

-"s-sorry i just still cant believe you are awake."

-"you sure this is the reason?", he winked.

-"yy-eah."

she picked up the towel from counter quickly, wrapping it around his shoulders.

He took a deep breath, shoulders relaxing, this was one of the weird things about her too, Making him calm whenever she touched him.

When she started to brush his hair with her fingers, He couldnt help the sigh that left his lips, Closing eyes. This felt good.

After few seconds, he tried to stiffen his posture, not letting his guard down, but it was impossible.

-"Where is your brother now?" he asked suddenly, eyes still closed.

-"he is gone." she said. He could see sadness taking over her face even his eyes closed.

well he felt like shit now.

-"back there, i felt this." he said then, trying to change the subject. He needed to wipe that sadness off her face

-"felt what Ben?"

-"Your hands, touching my face"

-"I-it was for checking your body temperature y-you know, i-its the easiest wa.-"

-"sure thing doll" he said, winking again, smiling at her who looked like a tomato.

-"im sorry if it made you uncomfortable Ben,"

-"It, didnt."

it was far from uncomfortable actually, like being touched by an angel, made him feel warm even for a few seconds.

but he didnt tell her that.

....

20 mins later their hair was mixed on the floor, dark brown and light brown together.

-"You like it?" she asked, taking off the towel from his shoulders

-"Yes doll," he said patting her head. "You will be the only one to cut my hair from now on" he said, smirking.

She smiled at him, looking at the floor again.

-"O-oh i almost forgot, i bought razors for you, your beard i mean, if you want to shave it of course." She told him as he was about the leave the bathroom

-"how you like it? do you think i should shave it?"

-"y-you look good both ways."

-"you too", he said looking at her hair.

taglist: @deans-spinster-witch@mfnqueen1@ponypickle@butchers-girl@verypostcrown @angelbabyyy99 @6asm0ne @uncle-eggy

notes: Next part too will be about their days in motel (they will get closer!) then we will see butcher and hughie :)

[0kaymellon]

Hii

I wanted to request a Aizawa fic.( platonic)

Lets say he has a biological daughter and she is a rebel teenager, but one day he discovered she was going into street fights.

Thanks

Aizawa x rebel teen reader (platonic)

Part 2 here

I didnt know if the person who requested this wanted a series so I’m just doing something that can be made longer to create a series if wanted 🫡

aizawa used to have a girlfriend who he met during his first couple years of being a pro hero but unfortunately because of his job he ended up accidentally abandoning her and like never being home to help look after her and you their daughter and so in the end she left him but let him keep their daughter y/n because well, he’s the problem hero who gets a lot of money….she isn’t 🧍🏼‍♀️

Anyway what about y/n makes him have constant supply of eye bags, it’s the fact she’s awfully rebellious see he never told her what happens between him and her mother so she’s very very spiteful and does everything in her power to rebel against the pro hero and he just looks at her with tired eyes nowadays too tired to fight and just makes sure she isn’t dead or in the hospital you do look awfully similar to your mother

And one day you get exceptionally annoyed because you’re 16 and desperately want to go to UA and save people with your quirk but aizawa forbids you going to UA and forbids you from becoming a pro hero because he want you to have a normal life, a normal long happy life, not the one he is currently living. But you being a teenager filled with spite from being slightly neglected by your father obviously you don’t understand that and you storm out 🏃‍♀️‍➡️.

You’ve been outside for about 7 hours now and aizawa is starting to get worried so he decided to lol for you (not that’d it’d take long for him to reach you down) and while he’s waking down the streets of Japan he hears yelling and sees a circle of people chanting “fight! Fight! Fight!” And other words of encouragement to keep it going. Normally he wouldn’t care buuuuuuut a certain yell catches his attention. It sounds awfully close to his little y/n’s so he immediately goes to the crowd and little does he know it is you fighting another guy in a quirk fight. What he didn’t take into consideration is you using your quirk.

See aizawa’s quirk is erasure and your mother quirk was a mirroring type quirk where any attack anyone does she casts a mirror to send it back to the person who sent it so your quirk is like a reversal quirk where if someone like attacks you with a quirk aslong as you have then in your sights no matter which they attack their quirk will have the opposite affect to what it normally would

So obviously you’re winning because you can’t go wrong with your quirk yk, the fights intense, it’s been going on for a good 3 hours now, you’re both bloody and tired your opponent figured out your quirk so it’s been a battle of strength for a good 2 of the 3 hours now, everyone’s on edge, you currently have the upper hand but just as your bloodied fist is about to make contact he slides his foot under you and knocks you over and just as he’s about to elbow you a scarf wraps around him and detains him.

Everyone jumps and looks to see one of the pro hero’s looking hella pissed, so naturally everyone steps away and or goes about their business, the guy you were fighting is sitting there confused and you’re kneeling on the floor eyes watering, body shaking from adrenaline and anger at him interrupting your fight, with blood dripping down your forehead. Aizawa walks towards you and kneels in front of you, he’s about to question you when you start yelling at him saying “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” and “WHY CANT YOU LET MW BE HAPPY??” And obviously he replies with something like “YOU THINK FIGHTING PEOPLE ON THE STREET IS FUN???? ITS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND FOOLISH” and you then reply with “WELL I WOULDNT HAVE TO IF YOU LET ME JOIN UA AND FOLLOW MY DREAMS”.

When you finish you’re both gasping for air after yelling at each other and you’re choking on your sobs while he just stands there and thinks she really wants to be a pro hero?. He thinks for a moment while your body shakes and huffs from the crying and adrenaline then in one fell swoop he brings you into his arms while gently rocking back and forth and gently whispers “let’s go home cuddle with the cats and talk about the rest in the morning” you being too tired to argue just nod. He picks you up and carries you home, he patched you up, runs you a bath and when you’re out of the bath and dried he does scold you for street fighting and grounds you for about 2 weeks but slight good news is your future of going to UA looks a bit brighter :).

Hope you all and the person who requested it enjoyed reading :)

[myfairstarlight]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and in-depth answer to my question, re: Colin's portrayal in part 2! He's my favorite character in the show, and I love to read people's takes on characters, narrative arcs and themes, so basically, you're amazing <3

If you would humor me further, gentle author, having read a lot of your posts, I'm inclined to assume you've read the books as well? If you have, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on Colin's portrayal as compared to the books overall, please?

I know you touch on this a bit in your original response, but to speak to my own thoughts, between the show and the book, I've personally, mostly enjoyed the show's overall portrayal. Predominantly, I felt like they handled his anger better, where in the book, his anger often felt a little out of left field or just positively violent, which was startling in a character who even personally touted himself to being not-prone to violent angry outbursts. Not to say he cant be angry or that it didnt make sense, but after three books prior (with admittedly bias narration), it gave me more Anthony vibes than what I would have expected from Colin, so it was a bit jarring. Though, I guess in a way, I make the same mistake as Penelope in my reading of him, hm?

As you have mentioned in other posts, I too appreciated that he held himself back while he was angry/upset at her. He was still around, he still wanted to help, but as you said, he'd finally discovered what he wanted all along--emotional and physical intimacy together, and I was glad for him to be so uncompromising to the conviction that THAT was the only way he wanted to be with ANYONE, Penelope included. Penelope deserves the world, but Colin does too. I'm glad they got things figured out so they could both have what they need and want and have found in each other.

Would love to hear your thoughts, thank you again :)

Oh dearest anon, how you flatter me!

So I suppose I shall indulge you some more, and I will request that you humour me as well as I embark on a little reminiscing journey. I am currently working on another post analysing part 2's love stories (plural yes), but you are giving me the opportunity to delve into an aspect I rarely touch on in my posts: Bridgerton being an adaptation and the often controversial differences between show and book.

Let's break this down in parts once more, shall we?

Colin's anger

Colin has always held a special place in my heart, ever since s1, I suppose in that regard I am much like Penelope. I immediately fell in love with the idea of them together before I even knew they would. Following s1, I immediately read The Viscount Who Loved Me and Romancing Mister Bridgerton (I skipped Benedict's at first like the show, sue me) back to back and what a surprise it was to me to find a Colin so... different from the one we see in the show (and that is without tackling the fact that apparently it was confirmed they took some of Book!Colin characteristics and gave them to Show!Benedict). In fact now that I've read most of the books, it is a startling issue so many of these men have in the books: anger issues and violent tendencies. Colin is one of the least guilty of that in my opinion, but that isn't saying much either.

In that aspect, I wholeheartedly agree with you, I think the show tackles his anger towards Penelope's secret identity much better. In the book, he can be aggressive (he bruises her for god's sake! And he's aware!), he's petulant, he refuses to listen to her and would rather pretend Whistledown doesn't exist, he expects her to just give it up after marrying him and then he doesn't tell her he plans to reveal her identity to everyone, and worst of all at the end he saves the day so he doesn't really learn anything. In the show, however, even if he is upset, he still listens, he still tries to understand. The one time he tries to do shit without listening to Penelope, he makes things worse and is humbled, which I think is a better outcome, narratively, than what happens in the book. Sure, he might not be physically affectionate with her, when his book counterpart had no issue with that, but emotionally? He is there for Penelope even through the hurt. With a look, with words of reassurance that he still wants to marry her and protect her. The difference between Show!Colin and Book!Colin is that Show!Colin asks Penelope to give up Whistledown and tells her it is for her safety, and when Penelope refuses, it pains him but he listens, he has to grapple with the fact that his wife won't suppress a part of herself for him. Book!Colin just expects her to give it up.

Show!Colin's anger is a quiet, but devastating thing, while book!Colin's anger is an explosion, and I very much prefer the former.

Colin's jealousy

Now, to give the book some points over the show, it handles Colin's writer struggles and his jealousy over Penelope's success much better than the show, and I love that it is Penelope calling him out on it, forcing him to reconsider. It does help we have his inner dialogue in the book whereas the show did not allow Colin those moments, we have to be told by Colin during an argument and then Cressida when she calls him out. Furthermore, in the book, ten years have passed, and Penelope as Whistledown has been successful this whole time, meanwhile Colin has just been running around the world, accomplishing, well, nothing really. In fact, it sort of explains his out of character bouts of anger as well (although it does not excuse when he gets a little violent).

Excuse the screenshot in night mode, dear reader, as I am writing this post at night after all.

"Would he be jealous of Penelope if he hadn't already sensed a lack in his own life?" I love that introspection. He is aware, he feels bad, he wants to do better. In the book, I did not feel like Colin was struggling to reconcile Penelope with Whistledown, he's accepted that fact pretty easily (too easily even I think), but what holds him back is his jealousy. And then we have scenes of Penelope reading more of his journals, reassuring him, reaching out even if he struggles to reach back.

This is one of my favourite scenes in the book, highlighting his struggles with confidence and worth, and though it goes on, I'll avoid posting screenshots of the whole chapter. In the book we have Penelope actively helping him and give him confidence, and he gives as much by supporting her writing as well. They mutually encourage each other in their business endeavours.

The show on the other hand is lacking in that aspect because of time restriction. We never do see Penelope read more of his journal so it feels a bit forced in when she praises his writing during their arguments when we did not see more of it ourselves. The show wanted to do a lot with little time. Colin still struggles to prove himself, but more in his relationship, not regarding his own dream of writing. I sort of wish they had kept writer Colin in the back burner for s4 and have him go through that arc and his envy towards his wife for that future season while for s3 they focus on his struggle to reconcile Penelope and Whistledown, as well as accept the fact he cannot always protect everyone but that he also does not need to be useful to be loved, but alas, I do wonder if people would have had the patience for that. Him being a writer is a big part of his book counterpart after all and it would have been odd to not include it.

Little bonus: the last ball

This one is just because I was thinking about the last ball where the public reveal happens, both in the book and the show. I've seen mixed reception.

I would like to concur that the show did the Whistledown reveal better, actually. And I say that as someone who still loves the scene in the book. As already mentioned, in the book, Colin makes the decision for her, and he also tells her secret to others behind her back (only to Simon and Anthony, but still), and thank God for him everything turned out alright. It is a declaration of love, and the scene itself is lovely, but the context around it always bothered me a bit, Penelope's agency was taken from her. In the show, however? Colin was willing to lie to his brother to keep the secret hidden, and when Penelope expresses her discomfort at the idea, he listens. She asks him to support her, and so he takes a step back and trusts her. I liked that he lets her step into the spotlight and choose to reveal herself. And when the Queen leaves and people start whispering, I'm convinced he would have done something to make everyone shut up if it wasn't for Philippa being quicker and releasing the butterflies to distract everyone.

(And sidenote, I liked that it's Penelope's family that saved her from humiliation. In the book, it was the Bridgertons clapping first, but since the show mended the relationship between all the Featherington ladies it was such a nice touch that they're the first ones to support Penelope there.)

Conclusion

Overall, if I had to choose, I think I like Show!Colin's portrayal much more after all (though again, I met him first so perhaps bias are at play) and I'm looking forward to seeing him embody Colin "My Wife" Bridgerton in future seasons, the way Book!Colin is an absolute delight in the epilogues and the other books. But I do mourn the way his journey to become a writer was rushed, because it was the strongest part of the book to me.

I do feel like with the Featherington heir plot in the show, s4 will most likely have Colin's arc be learning to manage the Featherington estate until his son is old enough to inherit it now.

I did probably forget to mention other stuff but oh well, this answer is already quite long.

I hope I have entertained you greatly, dear reader! And with these words, this humble author shall finally retire to bed at an ungodly hour once more.

[djpachipikachu]

do graves!leosagi ever get tired of their friends/family labelling them?? like maybe leo’s bros make fun of him for having a “boyfriend” and he gets like rightfully irritated by that ?

its Kinda amusing bc eventually leo’s family at least straight up thinks theyre just really good pals and its like wow ! friendship ! in a more oblivious sense like they just kinda shrug and go oh yeah usagi’s here again whatever

originally mikey was insanely insanely suspicious of usagi and what his relationship was with leo (“hes literally just a friend” “YOU MEAN A BOY-FRIEND. AND U NEVER TOLD US.” “what am i supposed 2 say do i update u guys every time i make a friend” “If I See This Fuckinf Rabbit Sleeping In Your Bed Again I’m Telling Dad” “WE WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER”) (mikey was mainly shocked bc leo invited a friend to sleepover who they didnt know And leo didnt tell anyone there was an extra mouth to feed for brekkie) but once everything was smoothed over usagi just became another regular, similar to how april is

leo himself tells raph that its a little more than that but only raph rly knows it and hes always had a hunch about them so it didnt change much in how the brotjers saw the two

usagi’s family on the other hand is definitely more “Boyfriend? boyfriend? boyfriend? crush? romance?” kitsune teases usagi about how dramatically romantic it must be to fall for a guy he hated in the beginning and usagi is like . so filled with Eugh. This Is Not Romantic. ick feeling that it causes him to be more in denial at how close he’s gotten with leo (in the beginning at least , later on kitsune still teases him but he’s more at ease with how him and leo are, so he always jusy goes “ew no im not kissing him dates r gross” but over time she toned it down to more “ooh is someone missing a certain kappa?” kinda teasing rather than “whens the wedding/has your first kiss happened yet lmao/etc” kinda teasing)

hana calls leo his boyfriend like all the time and like . usagi doesnt rly correct her bc she’s 8 and he doesnt know how to explain that they “arent Really boyfriends sure they do things that couples would do sometimes but its platonic and well you dont rly know what platonic means uh”

so she gets a pass on all her “IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND” comments since usagi is just like “yeagh its leo u wanna say hi”

auntie notices how leo visits a lot and she kinda just is like “okay ur like my kid now. lol.” she thinks they are just best friends bc usagi said they are and who is she to think otherwise, she kinda just absorbs leo (and later on the hamatos) as her own family and doesnt question their relatiomship much

chizu and gen tend to stay out of usagi’s personal business like that But gen did think that leo was a girl for a good while before he was ever introduced to him . and he was like “usagi if you wanna pick up the ladies u need like. do better. than this” “what. What” “like take a shower man” trying to give him flirting/relationship advice without actually knowing leo at all and also assuming usagi is straight

all in all its never really serious if people call them boyfriends or just best friends bc they dont really care to correct anyone it only matters if its like “so did you hit the [insert romantic relationship milestone] phase yet haha” bc that gets tiring to hear constantly

mainly all their family is just like “oh okay” at their relationship since i dont Really want to make the hardships of being aroace or being queer a big point since we already struggle enough with that irl ! a few details here and there about how their unlabelled status confuses some people but generally just a “we’ve seen weirder shit who cares” kinda energy to it

i love rambling . Thank you for the wuestion ily /p

[otherentrance]

um. an analysis of martha & ten in s3e1 of doctor who or whatever

now when it comes to the tenth doctor's companions you only really hear about rose and donna. and that's great, that makes a lot of sense, i get it. but that meant i really had nothing to go off of with the introduction of martha jones in series 3 & setting aside the fact that i immediately loved her, it really struck me just how calculated the doctor was in that first episode in regard to letting her on

i think its fascinating actually, because in "The Runaway Bride" (the christmas special between series 2 & 3) the doctor had just lost rose. like it went: "Rose Tyler, i love you" *30 seconds later, Donna has entered the chat* "Who the hell are you?" so it makes sense that he's super out of it that whole special

a new end of world crisis is thrown on him, a new person is thrown in his life, & its all happening before he's had time to process the end of "Doomsday". by the end of the special i didnt get why donna didnt go with him, but i get it now

it was all just so much so fast. unfortunately, i dont think we know how much time has passed between The Runaway Bride & Smith and Jones, but he's apparently had enough time to settle two things:

despite his protests, there's no avoiding what donna made him promise. "find someone", "i dont need anyone", "yes you do. because sometimes i think you need someone to stop you.", "yeah"

the fashion in which he wants to go about finding said someone

ok

in that first scene martha and the doctor have together, where the doctor is pretending to be a patient, right off the bat he's got this cheery neutrality to all the doctors-in-training crowding his bed. martha just happens to be the one called up to diagnose him, and he seems to like the way she reacts to finding out he's got two hearts

its interesting, she just takes it calmly, no freaking out or even mentioning it. this is a pattern with martha, she just accepts whatever situation shes in and rolls with it. and the doctor's got this look on his face when he looks at her in that first scene, neutral smile, raised eyebrows, he's curious he's probing the waters he's trying to figure her out

right off the bat, the doctor is curious as to what sort of person martha is. & i dont have the background of how he met rose (because im not watching doctor who in order) but im assuming, based on how it ended, that everything about her sort of happened to him. like she just burst into his life, blinding, and they crashed into each other

so it makes sense, indeed its incredibly human of him, to take the exact opposite approach with a new companion. he doesnt want to fall apart like he did for rose, so he's going in all experimental and curious neutrality and its fascinating because he's not even emotionally distant!

right, ten's emotions are something that gets talked about a lot, about how buried they are. its funny, ten is telling martha who he is instead of showing. (because if you're upfront with the things that hurt you then its all out in the open and you can put distance between yourself and the significance of your own experiences)

im getting ahead of myself. second scene they have together

ten comments on how smart martha is with the whole "if the air was gonna get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didnt!" thing. this objective observational approach to bizarre situations seems to be the first thing that draws martha and ten together. shes smart, and clear-headed, and curious. like he is

and then! and then and then!! "fancy going out [-side, on the moon, where there's no oxygen]?" "okay." "we might die." "we might not." "...good, come on."

good. good. like a teacher asking a question and getting the answer they want. the line is delivered slowly (which is saying something because jesus christ david tennant talks fast) and deliberately. if the question is "will you risk your life in the name of figuring out what's going on?" then the answer is "yes, not only will i risk my life but i choose to put my faith in the chance that i live."

curiously, i think it's this gift for hope martha has that ten is drawn to. i think he's been flying by the skin of his teeth, running on hope and running out of it, and martha is an optimist. a curious, smart, observant, optimist. god i love her already

(at the end of that interaction ten specifically points to the other woman with martha and says "not her, she'll hold us up". he's chosen his subject, and disregarded the other potential opportunities. its so calculated)

scene three, that balcony scene.

turns out they can breathe on that balcony, wahoo. martha remembers that party with her family and starts getting choked up. "you okay?" "yeah" "you sure?" "yeah" "you wanna go back in?" "no way, we could die any minute but all the same its beautiful"

ten sees her getting emotional and, briskly, asks if shes okay. she insists she is twice in a row and shoves down her emotions in favor of admiring the view. and who is this reminding me of?

okay so thats the fourth thing of note then. she's calm, smart, hopeful, and ignores her own emotions in crisis. and she finds joy in that view too! its beautiful! standing in the earth light.

she finally asks him whats happened, and he turns the question back on her. here we go, fifth thing. "extraterrestrial. idk a few years ago that would have sounded mad, but these days?" she pays attention. complete opposite of donna, she's caught up on the alien events going on and she believes them

moving right along: ten makes the decision to open up to martha, and tell her his real name. "what, people call you The Doctor?" "yeah" "well im not, as far as im concerned you've got to earn that title" "well i better make a start then"

i love this interaction. he's telling her his name and instead of ogling at the weirdness she says "earn it." like its a challenge. my current hypotheses, having not seen the rest of season 3, is that this is a unique quirk of their dynamic. martha wont just take his bullshit, or ogle at his space-alien-ness, or let him take charge just to follow after going "what the hell??". she'll catch right up with him and help figure out the mystery as well

ok scene 4

"if they're [jabloon, monster of the week] police are we under arrest? are we trespassing on the moon or something?" "no, but i like that! good thinking."

again, she's sharp. creative. and then the reveal that the doctor's non-human! oh youre kidding me, dont be ridiculous, stop looking at me like that. 13 seconds. "oh you're kidding me, you're not non-human" to "well shit, guess he is" in 13 seconds! she's marvelous! she just takes it!

fifth scene, the whole The Doctor is trying to figure out the situation and the companion is hanging back asking questions and trying to get their head around the whole space alien thing while he spits information a mile a minute. its crazy, she keeps up! like not just with how freaking fast ten talks, with what he's saying!

im a broken record, she just believes it all its wild. she recognizes the situation as a problem, accepting each piece of information as valuable and true, and works to solve it i love you martha jones

ok i cant sit here going scene by scene lets jump to the end shall we

scene i lost count. the tardis is parked in some back alley after a fiasco of that family party for marthas brother

the initial test is over, and martha's passed. the doctor wants to take a chance on her

"i just thought, since you saved my life and ive got a brand-new sonic screwdriver which needs road testing, you might fancy a trip?"

evidently martha cant say no to that so we, lovely viewers, are treated to a classic "its bigger on the inside!" scene. and ten's got that look on his face again! carefully cataloging her reaction, sizing her up.

coming full circle, martha asks about the doctors previous companions (again), and its fascinating comparing this scene with the opening of "The Runaway Bride"

where donna stumbled across rose's jacket, assumed ten had kidnapped her, and confronted him about it, thus throwing the hurt of loosing rose right back in his face, ten puts it all out in the open for martha right off the bat

im the doctor, ive got a brand new sonic screwdriver, the tardis is bigger on the inside, and the last one was rose. welcome aboard

even while throwing it all out in the open, ten quickly says "anyway" like he doesnt want to talk about it. when martha asks where she is (like donna did) ten assures her that rose is safe and fine. directly doing the opposite of how donna approached the subject

and still ten insists that martha isnt going to be "the new companion". that shes here for one trip, then back home. he knows donna was right, he needs someone, he promised her. he knows but he doesnt want it, yet. hes telling martha the situation while still walling off his actual feelings about it

which explains why ten reacts so badly to martha teasing him about that kiss from earlier. when she opens up the situation like he's flirting he shuts her down fast. but when she turns it into a joke, and says she's not interested we get "good." again

its a really clear pattern, the way ten assesses her this episode. he notices her cool headedness and observation and pokes a bit more. he shuts her off when she approaches territory he doesnt want her to. he responds with "good" when she responds with what he wants

he's drawn to her because they share a lot of key traits (accepting bizarre situations, intellect, high emotional regulation) & because she shows a few key traits that distinctly compliment his own (her hope, curiosity, and stubbornness). she doesnt marvel at him like other companions did (and will), and doesnt put up with his bullshit either. she makes fun of him for being "pompous" in a way other humans just worshipped him. she relates, accepts, understands, and humbles him in very distinct, important ways

anyway "Smith and Jones" was a solid episode & you guys dont talk about martha enough, shes amazing

[fatuismooches]

muzzle anon here- thx for HURTING ME SO MUCH :D !!! that dottore fic is 'THE' dottore fic for me now, I will read it over and over and over again, it was an amazing experience. AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT

Since you wrote how the raven and sparrow's destinies are intertwined. I was thinking of a reincarnation (modern) au? Idk if you would be interested but I just keep thinking of doctor zandik and fragile reader

Kinda would be ironic if zandik is still experimenting on people to find a cure for reader

Or maybe this time they are actually healthy and happy together?

Oh maybe one day Zandik remembers his past life? How he lost reader? How they both ahem went to the other side haha like the whole "you are as beautiful as the day I lost you" thing

They can also met at an university (like how they met at akademiya) it is giving soulmate vibes but hear me out. When they first see each other, they instantly know each other, they don't know how but there is just this bittersweet feeling. Both are questioning why do they feel this desire to hug each other like they have been apart for so long

(I still cant over the death of the segments, Omega, and the end tho. Beta is my fav segment but ZANDY? GONE? NOO and then Omega also? Considering how reader told Dottore they still loved him, maybe Omega thought reader hated him while dying- Like in the end he thought about how he lost the love of reader. How much he messed up? Ouch .)

Actually wait segments didnt die (delulu talk)

Dottore: it was a prank.

Reader: wha-

Segments: *was just about to celebrate their birthday but now feel guilty they just caused a borderline panic attack*

YESSS GRRRR- Imagine if thousands and thousands of years have passed and Teyvat is unrecognizable from what it once was. Elemental energy, Visions, what makes Teyvat, Teyvat, are no more, and the world is completely modernized. Since Celestia is gone as well, the eternal punishment handed to you and Dottore is finished and you two can finally be reincarnated, and perhaps this time fate may give you a happy ending.

Modern Doctor Zandik and fragile reader... your illness is so mysterious that no medicine or treatment seems to be able to cure it, no one knows what's going on with you despite all the medical advances, you get sent from doctor to doctor, clinic to hospital in hopes of a miracle but nothing... But Dottore, he is widely renowned as one of the best doctors in Teyvat, despite his... attitude. Now obviously you could never dream of affording the money to see him but, it just so happens he hears of your case and takes an interest in you... Now, he never expected to get attached to anyone, much less his patient but, it seems that history repeats itself... (unethical doctor part 2)

Happy and healthy reader... and having an instant connection with Zandik!! Oh my gosh yes. Zandik would be the most confused and annoyed because he had never felt a connection with anyone his whole life, he's always been the one by himself. He tries to ignore it, ignore the building feeling in his chest, but as fate would have it, he finds himself bumping into you far more frequently than he'd like. You've had enough of his pretty man constantly invading your mind, so you approach him one day and it all begins from there. (I imagine if he ever dreamed of his past life with you, it'd teach him not to take you for granted. Especially if it was after a fight with you or something.)

I imagine Omega didn't regret his actions, but he still deeply lamented his relationship with you - he missed whenever you'd barge in and lavish him with your affection, how you'd freely rant to him, how you loved him. All were replaced with stone coldness. But perhaps, this is the price of selfishness, one that he had to pay.

😭😭 Segments pranking you... they feel quite guilty but at the same time, it's really nice to think you care about them so much.

[deadchaoticcosmos]

Starchaser sunseeker jegulus micro-fic

Nobody noticed. Well to be fair they weren't acting much differently. They were just happier than ever. Also more clingy. Whenever one of them entered the room they would automatically just seek eachother out. To touch, to talk or just looking. To everyone else it didnt look romantic in any way, shape or form. To everyone else people thought they were insulting eachother ( they were all to far to hear what was actually said) and were just 'accidently' bumping into eachother, all the time. They are on cloud 9 or how ever the muggle saying went. When James proposed it was one of the best days of his life. It was magical, more than any wand or spell could produce. He knows they are still in school but that doesn't matter, so they decided to elope. It was perfect. It would have been nice if their friends were there but it was even more special this way.

They did it on the weekend, spesificky saturday so they could just be alone together on sunday.

They wore their rings on necklesses around their necks so no one would know but them.

They didnt really plan on not telling anyone, it just kinda happened. Well they kind of did but that is besides the point. They didnt want anyone giving them their opinions, also sirius may not have known they were together in the first place. No one new. Only his friends know they are together. Oh shit, they are going to hex him for not inviting or telling them. It will be worth it, and james would never let them hurt him. It is kinda funny that they don't know they are married. They still think they are just dating. He wonders how long it will take for them to figure it out. They say they are all so smart, this will but it to the test.

His so called friends were making that little amount of time to see him even shorter by distracting him. Barty and Evan were fighting about something, they were on the edge of getting us all kicked out of the libary. Dorcas was having some sort of girl issues and complaing rather loud about it. Apperently she has a crush on one of james's friends but doesnt know if she likes her back and is to scared to find out.

He was trying to study in the libary. Keyword being trying. His friends were all here with him. They said they just wanted to study with him and that they would be quiet, obviously they weren't. Why did he let them come. He guesses he was just distracted because of the amount of homework he had recieved today. Honestly why cant teachers just let him have little amounts of work so he can spend his evenings with his husband instead of being in the libary for most of it and only being able to see him for a little while.

My 2 written micro-fic

And pandora is pandora. Keeps asking him questions about things and his input on others. Eventrually she stopped that to help dorcas out. Both of these 'convasations' seemed endless.

When he was about to just give up and pack it all up and just leave it for tommorow, he heard them. The gryiffendors. Which included his love and his idiotic brother. Also dorcas's crush and the rest of them.

They were all whispering furiously. It seemed like all these whispers were directed at james. James looked about ready to breakdown. No one makes james cry.

He stopped packing his stuff away and got up. He thinks he supprised his friends because they all shut up and stilled. Finally that stupid argument and dating talk stoped. He knows he will probally hear more of that fight later in the dorms but not the dating or crush talk, ugh whatever it was maybe never or atleast until tommorow. They looked up confused until they spotted the gryiffendors. They seemed to understand and let him leave without a word, getting back to what they were originally doing. Out if the corner of his eye he saw dorcas blush.

By the time he got up, they had already found a table and sat down. They were a couple of rows ahead of them but still far enough in the back that no one else was there to see or hear them. Well except for his group. They didnt see him coming up to them. They had stopped whispering now and were just talking a bit lower than normal, all still furious, all still directed at james.

By now he can hear what they are saying clearly.' James just tell us, you're are friend you tell us everything!' Peter whispered. He guesses he was the only one trying to keep their conversation quiet. 'James I can't believe you right now, you're acting like a child, god you are so immature,' one of the girls said. He can't tell who but they sound annoyed. They are all speaking at once he can barely make out what the others are saying. James looks so miserable. He can see that his eyes are watering up.

He moves around the bookshelves fully. He is overflowing with anger, he's furious with all of them. James is their friend, best friend for some of them and they're treating him like this?! Whatever James did, doesn't deserve this reaction.

James doesn't see him. Regulus guesses he is in his own world just taking in what they are saying to him and trying not to cry. He hates crying infront of people. No one sees Regulus, good.

Once he reaches the table he slams his hands down onto it. That got everyone's attention, James looks up a little dazed and manages a little smile when he spots him. No one is talking, all focused on Regulus. They are all probably wondering why he's here,confused about why he's here and why he looks so furious. Confusion over taking their anger. Some of them look a little scared. Regulus wonders briefly how he looks, after all that's probably what's scaring them.

'How fucking dare you speak to him this way, treat him this way. Whatever he has done definitely does not deserve this reaction. What gives you all the right to do this to my husband?!' His voice is low and threatening.

The girl's mouths are practically on the floor. The guys look shocked and sirius looks like he is malfunctioning, short-ciruiting.

Why do they look like this? What had he said, he should just hex them all and leave with.....

Oh, oh fuck. He called James his husband. That's why they all look like this. He chances a look at James to see his reaction. Of course he has the happiest, doppiest, lopsided grin ever. Tears forgotten, what they were saying to him forgotten. All because he slipped up and outed them, their entire relationship to all of his gryiffendor friends. Oh and his brother of all people.

It seems remus is the first to snap out of whatever transe they were all in and mummers 'what?'

James , after hearing that, leaps out of his seat so suddenly that he snaps everyone out of the transe, even sirius, and runs over to regulus in two quick strides. Before he knows it james is hugging him and lifting him to spin him around. Than he's kissing regulus like his life depends on it, like no one's watching, like regulus is the only thing in the world, the only thing that matters.

'Ewww! Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck!? Ewewewewewewewewewew!' Sirius scretched. He was so loud that barty,evan,dorcas and panda came over to see what happened.

After awhile regulus and James broke apart.

Now instead of whatever the gryiffendors were mad at before they all started yelling for an explanation. Regulus and James ignored them, they were now in their own world again like what happens everytime they're together, and both unclasp their necklaces and slip on their wedding rings. Now that they revealed not only are they dating to regulus's friends but are also married, they also join in on the furiously demanding answers.

But James and regulus could care less because they no longer had to hid it, they could now show their love for eachother for eternity without holding back.

Later own they both had hell to pay with their friends for not telling them nor inviting them.

Barty was especially mad because he really wanted to be their flower girl.

My first starchasersunseeker jegulus micro-fic that didn't stay in my head but I actually wrote down

Inspired/based off of one of @ducky-sav posts I saw months ago

[lorsdelapluie]

The scene takes place in the world of Puss in Boots 2, in Far far away. The reader in all my one shots concerning this world is the incarnation of bad luck, they are literally just trying to go through life and enjoy however they can.

IT IS HERE THE NSFW CHAPTER LADIES AND GENTS. EAT THIS UP. Im sorry it took so long but I hope it's gonna be worth it :' D

Note: "Chiqui" is spanish pet name that means "Little one".

Part 2- Mi Pareja.

Death was a jealous entity, you got to learn this the hard way. After your first encounter, which occured now several months ago, the wolf would oftenly visit to check on you. Pretending to check if the Lloronas weren't still mad at him for stepping in their ritual and therefore would take their revenge on you. Of course, you didnt buy any of this, you were pretty sure that Las famosas Lloronas didn't hold grudges against you and they probably forgot about that accident. As they were deeply focused on the man they were hunting and not you, you just happened to be in the way. And how would any creature in Far far away dare to hold grudge against Death itself.

Right now, you were stuck in a pool of mud, your high boots now uneapperant as you had your feet deep in this. You couldn't move, and by some strike of luck, a group of men were trying to help you. Tying a rope around you waist as they were trying to pull you away. You perceived every word with crips clarity as they gave you instructions to help you get out of this mess. Hearing every scruff and octave in the men's voice, something which reassured you in some way, making you think of the voice of your protector for the past few months. You felt the rope dip under the back of your belt, scratching your skin. That hurt. But as the pression on the rope grew, the pulls too, you soon could pull out your leg of the mess. You were walking right through this shit, and soon as you came closer to the shore, a hand extended to you.

Your eyes roses, encountering the face of the guy in front of you. He had pale blue eyes, strong face features and pretty brushed golden hair. His outfit, his face and his gentle way of brigging you back on the land with soft smile, even though you cleraly looked like a mess, made you wonder if you were not in front of a prince. What prince, this you could not know. Why ? Cause there was not only one prince in Far far away. Many of them were wealthy, which was the case of the one in front of you, you assumed.

"Who are you ?" you murmured out of curiosity. You turned around, looking at the lake of mud that you just left then your eyes met those pale blue eyes that were looking at you with concern. "Oh, sorry, I completely forgot about the part where i need to be civilized. So, thank you !"

"Vania. Prince Vania. And you are ?" So he was a prince indeed. He slowly grabbed your arm pulling you on the earth, further away from the lake as he looked at the rest of the men that looked like they belonged under his orders. He was ordering them to get you something to clean your... destroyed boots. "And please dont mention it, it's normal to help anyone in distress right ?"

You nodded, forgetting totally to answer the first question. You didn't see the need in doing so. Why would a prince need to know the name of someone who was selling flowers to get by life. Right ? But his gaze never shifted, one brow arching as to ask you to, silently, once again.

"Y/N... I'm sorry sir, I have nothing to offer you, I'm a simple florist... I can't see what any of my possession could bring to your Majesty."

"Fear not my dear. I do not seek for gifts. A smile on this soft face of yours, is already plenty enough to re-pay me." Did all prince talked that way ? What a weirdo you thought. Did he really expect you to swoon like the princesses or other women might do. You let out an awkward chuckle as you slowly slide your arm away for the grasp of Vania.

Deep down, you could sense that the discussion going on right now wasn't right, it was weird. The prince in front of you didn't do anything wrong, no. And here he was kneeling in front of you as he took care of your shoes once a towel was handed to him. Did he thought of you as another potential concubine ? Please, God no. And as soon as you were about to tell him that he needed not clean your shoes that you were much capable of doing so yourself, you could hear a whistle.

No one seemed to notice it, except you. This whistle... You knew where it came from. From a place that wasn't bathing in the sunlight, coming from the muzzle of that dear.. dear wolf. You turned around, searching for him.

As the sunny day turned into piercing winds and low temperatures, like those early dusk and unforgiving pitch-black nights. Was it already that late ? You were standing, facing towards the lake of mud, your eyes searching desperatly for the silhouette of the wolf that you knew was there. You shivered and wrapped your shawl tighter around your shoulders. You needed to go back home, if he manifested his presence to you, he wasn't pleased. You turned around to look at your savior.

"I need to go back home. Thank you once again." You didn't wait for an answer as your legs decided it was time for you to go. And you ran, you needed to go back home. You knew you weren't gonna be safe there, but something inside your mind just yelled at you to go there. For what ? Find an angry wolf ? Why would he be angry for anyway ? Where was he hiding, you could feel his piercing eyes on your back, burnin two holes that didn't help you feel at ease at all. He didn't say a single word, just a simple whistle. This whistle that have heard him do with so many of death's victim. You could picture the glint in his eyes that you knew so well, going from annoyed, to neutral, to hot. This was not good for you in any way. As your mind wandered, you were running, running for your home. When you could see the field of colorful flowers appearing behind the hill, you sighed of relief, your small home resting next to the prettiest lake that might exist. You took the stairs that were leading to your nest. And once you were inside, door closed behind your back... You sighed as you let yourself slid down against the wood. You looked at your boots, taking it off rapidly to throw it to the side. Stupid muddy lake.

But as soon as you stood up, you could sense a freshness settling inside your home. A shiver ran down your spine, feeling your heart rate increase whenever you knew he was inside your home. Inside your safe walls.

"Made a friend back there Chiqui ?" and there he was, his low and raspy voice coming out of the only dark corner of the room. Could he possibly travel thanks to the shadows. You could ask him that someday. But that someday was surely not today, with how the situation was turning. Embarassment settled in your chest, why were you blaming yourself when you did nothing wrong. He just helped you.

"He just helped me... I would hardly call that befriending someone." This must have been a wrong answer considering the low growl that came out of his muzzle. To his own eyes, Death was rarely wrong, moreover was never wrong when he was angry. Which he painfully looked right now?

"Are you implying that I imagined what I saw? That kid on his knees in front of you? With his hand around your arm?" As these words came out of his snout, the wolf’s paws left the shadow in which they comforted. He approached. Dangerously. His lips retracting and that growl coming from the bottom of his throat was a clear indication of his annoyance. "His eyes scanned through you when you were facing backwards, looking for me. I shouldn’t have whistled. I should have come out of the shadows and taken the head of this cheap prince."

Fuck. You made the wrong decision, didn’t you? This is exactly what to do if you want to get murdered. Don’t scream. Don’t get angry. Let him ramble. You looked down, you knew better than look at him right in the eyes when he was angry. It scared you.. Not a lot but a little, probably a natural instinct to fear what was created to end one's life.

Fuck. Miercoles...

But Death wouldn't take you right ? Not because of some misunderstanding. He cared about you. But that behavior awfully looked like a...

Territorial behavior.

It’s just two words, but the implications behind it make your lungs constrict and your heart race. Other adjectives spring up around it, bringing a wave of excitement with them.

Territorial. Possessive. Jealous. You were probably just thinking it right now. Sure Death has been following you around like a shadow those past few weeks. You were awfully suspiscious about that behavior. You even joked about it, but now.. Now he seemed more agressive than usual. And you would be damned but it did aroused you. Well.. Still does.

"Chiqui ?"

He called out, and as you rose your eyes from the floor, the wolf was now in front of you. Did he call for you prior to that ? Wait, he was really close. His eyes were looking right throught you, those white pupils locking into yours. There he was, doing it again.. Reading right through you. And right now ? You were pathetic. Patetically blushing head over heels as you realised your arousal over the wolf in front of you and his display of possessivity.

His muzzle opened, but no voice came out of it. You raise your eyes to look at the wolf ashamed of the feelings curling up inside you right in the moment. And you could have sworn, you saw his eyes darken for a moment. And before you could say anything to defend or ask what was he on about.

"Me vas a volver loco." he breathed in a strained voice as if he was holding himself back. Holding himself from launching onto you.

You will drive me mad, that's what he said. And you murmured back, in that splendid language that was spanish, that he already did that to you. Hearing you speak in your native language always made him stop for a moment. His chest halting as if Death was catching its breath.

“How much do you like this shirt?” he asks, voice lower and more gruff than he probably intended.

“Not much.”

And just like that it shreds with a quick jerk of his claws, and the pieces land somewhere near the corner of the room as he tosses them aside with a careless flick. Some yelp left your mouth, and yet as you should feel afraid.. Embarassed to be half bare in front of him, you didn't try to hide away. You swore that as he looked at you, you saw his throat boped.

You shake your head and laugh softly, trying to ease the tension that was building inside of you as you got shyer and shyer because of his gaze on your body “I feel like some kind of sacrifice in front you like this.”

His blood races, and his muzzle that was above you a few moments ago fell into your neck as his tongue licked that sweet skin of yours. You gasped, but dont try to lean away from the wanted touch. Feeling the teeth brushing on each other side of your throat, when his hands were now roaming over your body hurrying themselves to get you off those layers.

“A worthy offering,” he says, unwrapping that tissu belt and your pants as if you were his most precious treasure. “Any entity would be pleased with such a gift.”

You come to him willingly, eagerly, running your hands over the back of the wolf, nuzzling your fingers inside the white furr. Pressed against his body, the warmth of your body warming up his cold one, as his mouth left your throat to nibble on your ear.

“What about...Hm. A terrible, fearsome monster? Would I make a worthy sacrifice for him, too?”

“That depends on whether you were a willing tribute.” he answered as he stopped himself from nibbling the rest of your body.

“And if I was?”

“If you were, Chiqui…” he says, as his hands slides now on your bear cheeks to carry you towards what was your bed. “Then I would have no choice but to worship you.”

The words are low and rumbling, spoken into the soft skin of your inner thigh as he inches closer and closer to your inner thighs. You gasps again and shifts for him, opens for him, trembling with anticipation. Never you would have thought to see The so feared wolf between your thighs, ready to devour you. And with the first swipe of his tongue over your warm, swollen flesh, you cry out and arches against his hold.

The sight of you struggling to keep your voice to yourself, and those thighs closed is more erotic than anything he ever could have imagined. Wrapped around you soft, plush body, squeezing you tight, keeping you still when you buck and writh with pleasure, it draws on that same dark instinct howling up from the bottom of his soul.

A word keeps repeating in his head, like a mantra as his muzzle devour you, making a wet mess of yourself.

Claim you.

But he was settling for devouring you instead, savoring the offering you bring to him so sweetly.

The taste of you only stokes those instincts higher, stronger, closer to the brink of blissful oblivion. Something he never dared to imagine as he was...Death himself. And you were nothing but a beautiful alive being. Your thighs bracket the sides of his head, pushing against his soft furr and he grunts in approval, tightening his grip on you and sinking his fingertips into the curve of your ass.

You were both lost in the moment, him not caring for the claws of his back paws clawing at the floor and leaving marks in the wood. And you not caring enough to keep your voice down as you were riding, the soft sensation of his tongue and teeth literally eating you out.

Knock knock.

That caught you off-guard. You both stopped, looking at each others. The ears of the white wolf perking at the top of his head. Before you could see a frown appear on his face, a growl pushing its way behind his teeth. Unhappy. Who was-

"Darling are you okay ?"

Wait.. That voice. You were pretty sure you recognize it. It was the prince from earlier. Did he follow you here ? Did hear you ? Wait. Darling ? That nickname was revolting. The face of the wolf raising from between your thighs, as his tongue passes upon his upper lip, a growl settling in the back of his throat. Not a desiring growl, but a threatening one. That was not good, your legs grabbed him in place, crossing behind his neck. Blocking him.

"Chi-"

"I'm quite busy at the moment ! Could you please go away." you ask in a strangled voice as you were slowly coming down from your high state. You didn't really catch what he answered you cause the next moment Death's tongue was back on you. It doesn’t take long until your body is taut and straining again, cries wishing to grow louder and more insistent. Mostly when the wolf between your thighs pushes against that sweet sweet spot. And yet you could hear that SO annoying voice coming from behind the door.

"Desaparece cabron !" You yelled, ash he stroked and eased you through every spasm of your climax, keeping you firmly held on the bed as you were doing for him, coming apart against his tongue.

Stars. You were seeing stars, literally. A laugh rumbling between your thighs, as you looked down at Death sliding his thumb to collect the rest of you on his lip. When you were finally settling down, your thighs were freeing the man you had in a choke hold.

"If I only knew you could curse like that."

"Is he gone..?" You breath out.

"Por favor, don't mention him ever again. He is far. Now it's my time. And I need to know, one important thing."

You looked at him frowning, wondering what could he possibly ask in that moment. You pray, please no more question about if they were friends or not..

“How much of me do you want, Chiqui?”

How much ? You asked yourself that question a while back. You were looking at Death's back as he was walking in front of you in some dark forest, two months ago. The spores of some mushrooms in the environment making your imagination run wild. You wondered if he knew already back then.. You pictured him above you, licking his teeth like he often does when he is about to eat up a meal you prepared. Hungry or impatient... You couldn't say. And you would look down at his inner thigh, cheeks growing hot. Would you like that ?

The answer doesn't come right away, Death wondering if you were unsure. But his eyes wandered, looking at your still moving hips, chasing the pleasure he was more than willing to give you. When he pressed his teeth into you skin in a small reminder, though, you gaze up so lustfully up at him.

And fuck, were you beautiful, once again you could see his chest raise. Your eyes glazed with pleasure, lips parted on a gasp, cheeks flushed.

“All of you,” you whisper. “I want all of you, Death.”

His answering groan echoes in the room. Leaving you breathless, you could almost taste the anticipation and the craving in the air.

“Are you sure?”

Soflty, your hands run through the puff of his cheeks. Your fingers ruffling the white hair. And your look gave the answer, you were looking at him like he ever wanted you to look at him since he first laid his preying eyes on you.

Maybe it’s what he always needed. Someone to be patient with him. Someone to be dedicated to him.

He has now a hand on each of your thighs, holding you open, as he raised from the floor, towering you down, one knee resting now on the bed.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” You breathe. “Yes, I trust you.”

One hand leaves your thigh, catching your chin between his fingers, tipping your head forward. “Look down, Y/N. See what you do to me.”

Between your legs, you could see his cock, hard and pulsing against your damp thigh (wait when did he get rid of his pants), you could feel the red rushing to your cheeks. That was...big. And it didn't look like any human male sex you had ever seen.

Not like you intentionally seen lots of them.

A laugh echoes in the room, while the wolf deciphers the expression you display. His face regaining its previous poise, his mouth opening and laying his fangs around your throat. Slowly, the fingers that had explored your entrance find their place again to continue this work of relaxation. He and you both knew that if you weren’t relaxed enough, this whole thing could be a lot more painful than either of you wanted. You push your head back, resting on the matress within a soft moan.

“That’s it,” The wolf grates out when you bear down and shift open to take him deeper. “Just like that, Chiqui.”

You could feel his voice rumble against your throat as he slides his tongue against you skin once again. Pressing his jaw around you, catching your breath. Enough pressure to cut your breath when you took too deep breaths. As warmth floods through you with his graveled praise. Warmth and trust and painfully sweet tenderness that only ratchets up every other sensation.

The feeling of Death’s fingers breaching you, filling you, diving deep and branding you from the inside out, is like absolutely nothing You’ve ever felt before. Pulsing and alive?, twisting and shifting and fitting itself to the shape of you. And you could feel him grind against your thigh, trying to releave some of that build up tension in between his legs.

“So mesmerizing. Do you think you can take some more?”

He asked as he pulled his teeth away, locking his gaze into yours. You nod, but he brings his free hand up to cup your chin, tilting your head up toward him.

“Let me hear your words.”

“Yes! I want more. Por favor.”

“Ask, and it’s yours,” he rasps, and pushes in another finger that makes you gasp.

Your thighs shake from the impossible, building waves of pleasure and the Wolf tightens his hold on you, spreading you even wider as his three rather larger fingers dives deep and retreats.

His knotted cock bumps up against your inner thigh, and a small pulse of uncertainty moves through you. You had no idea how you were going to take all that. Long, thick, and already weeping from the tip, your core tightens just looking at it.

Death seems to read your hesitation as if you were an open book in front of him, because he leans in to whisper low and dark into your ear.

“I’ll make sure you’re ready for me, Chiqui.”

Inside of you, the fingers he’s impaled you on shifts and twists, growing thicker somehow as he spreads them. The stretch of it boarders on too much, making you squirm and moan and press back against him, but you are not about to ask him to stop. When you tangle your hands into his furr and pull his head forward to claim his mouth, he growls and presses even deeper, fitting himself against the spot he drove you wild with just a few minutes ago.

There, right there, hitting that sensitive spot inside and ripping another scream from you as you climax crests and breaks. He works you through every spasm, drawing the pleasure out until you are half-certain you are going to pass out from it.

"Death-"

Your words cut off at his sharp growl and his tongue crashes past your lips. He’s ravenous as he strokes his tongue deep, hand on your throat, keeping you pinned in place. And when he notches his cock against your entrance, the clawing need to have him inside steals your breath.

Death breaks the kiss and looks down. Expression hungry, an animalistic growl, he watches himself nudge against you once, twice, before sliding the blunted tip inside.

Just that—just the smallest part of him—is already enough to make you feel stretched and full. His shuddering breath breaks against your shoulder as he drives his hips forward another inch, then another, until you are meeting him thrust for gentle thrust, groaning at the impossible feel of him sliding deeper.

“Dios,” he says. “Déjame tomarme mi tiempo contigo. Me estás absorbiendo.”

You hear him, but with each inch gained you are getting more impatient. Letting out a small moan of protest, you shift your hips, straining to take more of him, and his answering growl rumbles all the way through you.

“Greedy. So greedy, my Y/N. Shall I be merciful and give you what you want?”

“Please,” You gasp. "Por favor, deja-"

You don’t get to finish begging.

With a powerful upward thrust, he fills you up entirely and wrenches a ragged scream from the back of your throat. He’s there, bottomed out, sunk to the hilt in you. You are stretched so full that for a few long moments all you can do is drop your head back against the bed and close your eyes, trying to adjust to the feel of him.

“Bellissima,” he murmurs, rolling his hips in a way that makes another moan rasp from your throat. “Look at you taking me so well, my mate.”

Mate. You knew that was a language used between wolves. Inside a pack... A mate is a partner. A partner for life. You knew thanks to that , that Death is mindless at this point, too far gone into the magic being woven between the two of you to think about what he’s saying.

When you look down and see yourself stretched around him, feel the insistent pulse of him inside of you and the light press of his teeth against your neck, searching a way for the back of it, there’s no part of you that shies away from that word.

My mate.

It’s not enough, not nearly enough. Reaching up to wrap an arm around his neck for leverage, you grind into his thrusts and move restlessly against him, begging for more. More pleasure. More touch. More of the wild, incredible feel of him.

You must moan at least some of it out loud, because he growls low in his throat. “You need more from me, Chiqui?”

“Yes! Please.”

When he pulls out of you, you cry out sharply in protest. It’s only a couple of seconds, though, before he’s got you turned around and pushed up against the cotton of the sheets,his teeth finds the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your body, his hand pressing you into the bed, as he slams back into you.

It’s more intense than before, heavier, deeper. You don't know if that was the bite at the back of your neck that was driving you to madness, or the feeling of his knot pushing inside you. Stretching you to the maximum, making you scream his name. It was burning you up from the inside out until it breaks with a ferocity that blanks your vision out for a few long, ecstatic moments.

He comes just after you do, driving deep and exploding in you, locked by his knot, with a wash of heat that makes your belly flutter and your body go lax under his.

You obviously had a hard time coming down from that feeling you just had. But so did he. The erastic breathing that you could feel against your neck as the fangs did not let go, brought you little by little back to the world of the living. Soon you could hear the movement whipping the air from the wolf’s tail. Then the bed began to crack. Death let go of your neck, the moment the creak reach his ears, he was leaning to hard on the bed, and was about to break it.

Slowly, you could feel his weight lifting up from you, and his tongue running on the mark and the droplets of blood he left behind. A soft sigh left your lips as you could feel the knot of the male above you softening and he could finally pull out.

And as slowly, he reaches down to take your numb body against him, his nose nuzzling against your jaw just under your ear his a soft hum.

"You smell like me."

A small laugh escpaed your lips. You surely didn't expect that to come out first. You were relaxed in his arms, completely sated, andhe couldn't help but internally purr in pleasure to see you so undone. And a smile even peeked out at the sound of your laugh.

His mate. Satisfied. Happy. Utterly fucked-out and his.

"You reeked of the kid earlier. I thought I was going to lose my mind." he growled against your ear, flattening his ears back at the thought surely bothering him again.

"Feels like you did."

Despite your laugh, the wolf growls at the mockery. "It is not a mistake, Chiqui. You are mine. And now... Everybody will know that Death itself maked you."

Oh... And here you go blushing again, and it was his turn to laugh.

[paingoes]

Questions for any/all/however many of your OCs because I'm bored and curious.

How have they changed throughout their development? (I don't mean in-character --- like how do they differ now from the previous versions? How are they different now from the very first time you thought of them?)

How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

ooooo this is so much fun thank you for sending!!! okay!!!

1.) How have they changed throughout their development?

i wanna say that delta has been pretty watertight since inception. the story was created with him in mind. honestly i didnt always know where the plot was going and a lot of that was improvised, but his character and the way he reacts to things are fundamentally what holds the whole thing together. living weapon-whistle blower dichotomy was always there. thats my boy :)

paris and lorelai were both like. they invited themselves in and havent left basically id say that was their effect on the plot. ive said this a lot but the early paris characterization is kinda weak, he was just meant to be a kind of controlling and cruel whumper. and he was always supposed to be close to delta in age. that was basically it. i feel like the first time i really "got" him was when i wrote him in Moonshine blacked out and sobbing on the floor. and even now when i reread it im like. Oh there he is.

lorelai i guess ive also had her characterization down for a while. she has a good heart and despite her sheltered upbringing she has a very strong revolutionary spirit! shes kind of an idealist and she has a really rigid moral sense which is a good contrast to paris's ability to justify literally anything.

i planned to write rubies before crash out or to have crash out be like. a side story to rubies. but i remember the exact moment i realized when i wanted to do with paris and lorelai and it hit me in the head really hard. i was like. they neeeeeed to do fear and loathing in las vegas.

2.) How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

gonna hold my tongue on this one because the roleswap/princess delta AU is coming!!!!! no spoilers hehehehe

3.) What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

hmmmm. i feel like delta would really try to avoid talking about times where he was like. gleefully and proudly complicit in hurting and destroying other people. "glee" is definitely a strong word but he takes pride in his work and he knows hes the fucking best at it. he really enjoys the dopamine rush of hitting targets on a purely mechanical level and he enjoyed being The Favorite at the institute. hes knows its wrong now but at the time? he lived off the validation.

one thing lorelai would never tell anyone is that she thinks the living weapon thing was hot.

lorelai: omg poor delta :(((( thats so sad lorelai: it shouldve been me

while lorelai is pretty morally upright she defintiely has a thing about violence and control CTRL. lorelai is a foil to paris but she is a parallel to delta and i think she also really really wants to feel useful in the same way he can be. this doesnt mean shes okay with what paris did to him AT ALL but she is very. captivated by the concept to say the least.

4.) What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

i cant think of anything tbh! lorelai is mostly an open book and she says what she's thinking. if delta felt strongly enough about anything to confide in someone, and he felt safe to do so, i think he'd cave to that too. i feel like i should have an answer here for paris because he's definitely in the business of "i can't admit this even to myself" but i think if he really wanted to say something he would just say it. i dont think any of them are really good at keeping secrets.

5.) What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

paris thinks of thales, which is silly. it's not like he ever spent that much time there.

loreali thinks of absalom! she loves her home and its kind of incredible she ever left. she made a big sacrifice doing it and she doesnt regret it but she does get homesick a lot.

delta has no immediate associations and that is something that definitely eats at him. minor spoilers for rubies i guess but he will eventually come to associate Galatea -- and especially Levon -- with home.

6.) Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

i think it would be funny here to say lorelai's family is southern baptist. delta was raised atheist and in fact i think Martino was probably a total snob about it and made him read Space Richard Dawkins. none of them are particularly spiritual but paris and lorelai are both weirdly superstitious. paris believes in the afterlife.

destroyer does not have good religious lore but i did once canonize Space Catholicism so i could make a dick-sucking joke

[eclipse-rain]

TR ; Yin and Yang : Part 2

☆☆☆

Warnings; Pronouns : she/her, Slight manga spoilers, TW : ¿slight? angst, Tense you/your

Part 1 •Part 3

Masterlist~

You never knew your biological father.

You think you werent suposed to ever find out anything about him.

You think they tried to shelter you.

Your mother and brother did.

To keep it from you like they did with so many other things. Shelter you from the outside world that the eyes and ears of a child are not ment to yet witness.

You heard your mothers husband, your brothers father, had an affair with another woman. That was how your younger non-blood related sister was born.

You wondered why that happened.

Why he had an affair with a woman other than your mother. Why he would do such a thing since mother really seemed to love him so much.

Than again you were never told how you were brought into the world either.

How you came to be.

It had to have happened before he cheated on mother considering you were older than his daughter, even if it was only by a couple months.

Although, even after considering your similarities to that sister you didnt think you were brought into the world quite like how she was.

You didnt think she was born out of love like how you thought shin and his younger brother were. But you also thought that the reason she was born wasnt the same as your reason for birth either.

Which begs the question once again.

Why were you born?

Why didnt she throw you away?

Your mother.

Why didnt she get rid of you?

Out of a sense of responsibility?

They were right.

You knew they were.

When they had said everyone would have been better off if you were never born.

And your mother and brother tried to keep that from you. To shelter you from the truth. But even if you hadnt found out that day, before you even knew the meaning behind those words you were hearing, you probably would have found out one way or another.

Your mother loved your brothers very much.

She even loved their sister who was not her own.

But did she love you?

Could she have?

I mean could she really have?

When you grew old enough to finally comprehend and understand you came to a conclusion.

You didnt think you could have if you were in her position.

So you always asked yourself those two reoccurring questions.

'Why was i born?'

And,

'Why didnt she get rid of me?'

I guess the time had just finally come.

At the worst time when you finally dared to have hope.

You were cast aside.

You were thrown away.

Like you were always ment to be.

You had fooled yourself too long on the delusion of hope. Hope for a better future, for a better life in this world.

Mabey it actually gave you a bit of relief like how it did when your mother died and you thought you no longer had to be kept on the edge of uncertainty, of unknowing. A scared child who finally didnt have to stay strong anymore.

Or so you thought.

You were taken away in that black car and away from any dream, any hope, of a regular life with a normal happy family you had at that time.

Now you had two new questions to answer.

What was your purpose in life?

And where would you go from here?

Unfortunately, though, you didnt know if it was unfortunate for yourself or everyone else, you could now only see one direction that would point you in the direction in which might answer those questions.

And that was down.

Down the wrong path.

The path of darkness.

The path of no return.

Or so they say.

Who's they?

You weren't really sure.

You didnt think anyone was really sure.

No one really knew.

But people fear the unknown.

They fear the darkness.

The embodiment, the physical apperance of the unknown in this world.

Not you though.

You would embrace it.

You had to.

Or it would consume you too.

Then mabey embracing it was like sentencing yourself.

But if that was the case than at least it was the first thing in your life that you had control over.

And you would do anything in your power to keep it that way.

To keep yourself from ever again feeling the powerlessness of those days in which you could do no more than watch as your life was debated right in front of you and you couldnt do or say a single thing to stop it.

When your life was thrown around in front of your eyes carlessly like you were a rag doll. A side character in a story getting in the way of the main characters happiness.

Like you were a doll who was only ment to sit still while her body was moved for her. Her arms and legs repositioned and her face painted on like a mask.

A mask to cover the fact that while she was beautiful on the outside, on the inside she was only hollow.

That she didnt have a soul.

So to keep yourself from ever being thrown away again you would put a lock and chain around your heart and build up the walls of the barrier that had long been forming behind your mask.

You would throw yourself down the path of darkness.

Of tranquillity.

Of refuge.

The only refuge left in this world for you.

You, who had finally been cast aside after being kept on the edge of your seat, on the edge of that pirate ship plank, would take the plunge into that icy water below, into that unknown.

So you would no longer have to seek out those things, for if you let the power to have those things rest in other peoples hands to hold over you it could strike a fatal blow.

A final blow.

One you could not return from and if that would be the case you would rather the finishing blow be by your own hand.

That even if it was in your last moments you would be the one to have control over your own life.

Of course this change didnt happen straight after you were taken away in that black car.

No, no. It didnt happen until two years later.

You had not been so weak willed that you could not retain sanity or understanding or compassion for the situation you and your older brother were in. You had done it many times before.

Fought down your own feelings to please others. Why talk when you could say something wrong? Why breath when you shouldnt be alive in the first place?

'A waste of space' they told you. Live like your dead so you dont bother those around you, thats the least you could do.

And so you would do that once again, although it didnt bother you as much when it was for your brother. Yes, your feelings were hurt but you could understand, couldnt you?

There were responsibilities, there were priorities. So you could push your own feelings aside to not be a bother or a hinderance of any sort. And if you werent a priority for your older brother than you couldnt do a thing about it. Of course this was all just your thought, the way your mind worked, the thoughts that were always flowing without end.

It was another thing in your life that you had no control over. But you tried your best to do so and so you pushed everything as deep in your heart as you could, put everything on the highest shelf so you wouldnt have to face it.

You chose to remain ignorant so that you could keep your older brother even for a little longer. Only, you didnt know how little time that would really be.

You think it actually all started, your decent into the unknown, when locks of your hair fell like those flower petels withering.

Those flower petels, the ones from the flower you layed at the side of your mothers picture.

They withered as time went on.

And so did you.

They say time heals all wounds.

The same 'they' that are afraid of what they dont understand and so in their hardest efforts not to face the truth they make the most practical understanding they can for themselves.

So they can stay ignorant in their own little bubble without having to face the outside world.

Mabey thats what you were doing too.

Creating your own little bubble.

Mabey you were just like them.

Or you would have been, if that bubble hadnt been popped.

Mabey you could also have been blissfully ignorant.

But that chance had long passed you by and the most ignorance you had instead were the four walls of the barriers around your heart that time had also built up. As well as the walls of the orphanage where you were forced to grow up.

The dull damp grey walls that looked like they would blow apart if there was a strong enough wind.

The walls of the orphanage, not the ones around your heart.

No, no, those ones had been built far sturdier, time had been kind to them and done them well, at least thats what you thought.

More hair fell.

Lock by lock you got rid of one of the cursed key features that made you be abandoned by your brother, to you, hacking off as much as your could without mangling your face.

Of course after your mother died and you were abandoned by your older brother there was no adult left to take care of you, shelter you, so naturally you would be staying right you always had been.

In that damned orpahnage.

Though now you thought that if you were going to say goodbye to that same brother, whatever feelings you now held, which even you couldnt quite discern, you should at least not look the same as when he had last seen you.

The last time you had seen him alive which was also the time he had abandoned you.

And mabey for that reason. Your damned appreance. Your damed hair which you hacked off in an effort to pretend like you were actually doing something useful to relieve your anger.

You thought back to that time. The time you last saw him.

No, not the time after your mothers funeral. Not the time you were taken away in that black car by another social worker and back to the orphanage instead of to a warm and happy house with your brother.

But two years after.

Just a little while before the accident that permanently ment you would never again get to see your older brother.

It happened on a day much like the day of your mothers funeral, another day in the pouring rain.

Only this time you had been the one who chose to walk away from shin instead of being taken away from him forcefully.

You heard that hair holds memories.

So that when a girl gets broken up with thats why the first thing they do is cut their hair.

To get rid of the memories, good or bad, to start anew.

To be reborn.

The same could be said here, only when you were done and the slight cuts on your fingers bled from where you were careless with your scissors, you seemed to have replaced one dead face with another.

A newer ghost of a person.

Now instead of the last one you had buried you looked like one whos blood had only recently been spilled. Whos body was basically still warm.

And whos funeral you had been preparing to somewhat attend.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, the way your hair now hacked off into shorter pieces fell around your face, shaping it, made you look strikingly and sickeningly like your older brother, Shinichiro.

The one who now lay in that casket instead of your mother.

Of course he had also looked like your mother.

You both shared much the same face as her, you had heard that his younger brother also had a strong resembalance to her.

You recalled how your mother and even shinichiro had loved your long hair. Your mother would often spend time brushing the soft locks as she sat in her hospital bed with you sat close in front of her body.

She would praised it by saying how beautiful you were and shinichiro would chime in saying you took after her as you would agree and giggle at the compliments you were given.

She would sit and brush it all the while you both talked together in the hospital. And then when ever you would leave and return to the orphanage you often felt a sensation, almost ghost like, of a hand, your mothers hand as she stroked the top of your head.

Then your mind would immediately switch to how shinichiros much bigger, stronger, hand would roughly pat the top of your head with his calloused fingers from working on the bikes in his mechanics shop daily.

Then the question of why you were at the orphanage at all would continuously pop into your head.

Why did shinichiro and his little brother get to live with their grandfather while you lived in this place. Even their little sister lived with them as well.

You had heard that she had previously lived with her mother and her mothers husband but shin had taken her in to live with him when she was three.

This you had not heard from shinichiro or your mother like the other bits and pieces you heard from them about your other siblings. This, you were told by someone diffrent but also in much the same situation as you.

You wondered why emmas mother was willing to let her live with shinichiros family when she already had a family and why didnt your mother, who knew you didnt have any other family, let you live with them as well.

Were you missing something? Were they keeping something from you like they always were? Trying to shield you again? Or was it all just a misunderstanding, a mistake?

Was it because they all shared the same dad while you had no blood relation to him. Their dad had been their grandfathers son so perhaps that was the case. You were only the child of his son's wife so could you really be allowed to be part of their family.

You stared at yourself in the mirror.

You saw your older brother staring back at you.

Your eyes had always looked rather lifeless, creepy even, you had been told by others, but now even more so.

No matter how hard you tried then you couldnt recall what it was like to cry.

Or when the last time you had cried was.

You hadnt shed a single one at even your own biological mothers funeral.

Your eyes remained bone dry, no tears would flow.

Not now, not then, not since a long time.

You had heard that shinichiros younger borther had the opposite problem.

And that he thought it must have stemmed from the conversations he had with his mother. The start of his dream to be strong, to protect.

The conversations about his father in which he recalled the only memory he had of the man before he died. That was of a little superhero action figure and what it ment to be strong.

'Mikey had always tried his hardest to be strong' - like those memories, you had been told.

He always tried his best not to cry. But you, you had the oppsite problem.

You couldnt cry anymore.

No matter how much you wanted to, no matter how much you tried to make the tears come out, your eyes remained dry.

And your heart remained void.

Another memory had started to resurface but you forcefully pushed it away when you heard a noise behind you.

When you turned that person seemed to have just seen your face properly. It was also their first time seeing you with your hair cut short.

You knew then, by the look on their face, that you werent the only one who thought you looked like your older brother.

Like Shinichiro.

"You're not going to the funeral...are you?" You asked in a monotone voice.

You caught the hint of a grimice when you looked him in the eyes, much like how shinichiro had done when you had started to look a bit too much like your mother after her passing.

You stared at the man who had returned back to the dazed look on his face seeming as of he were a million miles away. The man who chose to ignore you as you didnt get a responce to your question but you didnt need one, you knew the answer. You knew he would not be going.

You would once again have to walk up that aisle alone. There would be no hand to guide you this time. You knew shins death had hit the man hard, as it did you. You suposed you just were able to hide it better since hiding your emotuons was something that you had long grown accustomed to doing. You also knew that was most likely the reason he was not going to his funeral and also because of the last interaction this man had with your older brother.

One you had unfortunately been present for. One which unfortunately had also been your last interaction with shin.

At that time you had once again been made witness to the broken trust of another person. Witness to the lies and the heartbreak. To both sides of the story and the unfareness of the world.

Something you were too young to have already witnessed countless times before.

And when your that young and someone who has never yet learned how to rest and been witness to such betrayal, the lines get skewed.

Good and bad. Morals and empathy.

You learn from the wrong person, witness the wrong things and suddenly your walking a whole diffrent path wheather you mean to or not.

You had blocked that out as well, when your vision had been blurred, the lines turned askew. As many seemed to do as a coping mechanism.

Maybe it started at your first betrayal mabey at your last. Mabey it was when your mother died or the conversation you had had with her just before her health went downhill for the final time.

The conversation that would never leave your mind no matter how much you wanted it to.

The day when your mother had taken a turn for the worst in the hospital and you knew the end was near.

That day when the rest of your astranged family all gathered in the hospital as you peered at them from around the corner of one of the white hospital walls.

Those two siblings that you had never before met and their grandfather who knew of your existence and often sent you small presents on your birthday or get well wishes through shin whenever you fell ill but who you had never personally met either.

And shin stood in the middle of them all as you peered around the corner at him hoping he would spot you as you had come looking for him.

The news had just been shared. Your mother was dead and they were just about to go into the room to see her lifeless body laid out on the hospital bed where she spent the last years of her life.

You had yet to see her but you had been with her when she had taken a turn for the worst.

You were the one who alerted the nurses and made the call to your older brother about what had happened before the hospital could.

You had yet to see her lifeless body but you didnt want to, you couldnt, not when you had been the last one to see her alive.

You could hear the crying of a young girl from inside the room and you watched as a moment later a blond haired boy who looked much around your own age stormed out of it and veered towards the staircase before decending down them.

That must have been shins younger brother. The one who was so hung up on the idea of being strong. You wondered then what his idea of strength was. If he could cry without restraint in a house where he didnt have to be strong to survive. When he could rely on other people, the people around him, his loved ones and the ones who loved him back and if he couldnt than his only barrier was himself.

Like yours was, like your is.

Although you hadnt started to build barriers around your heart until a while later.

But you already know how that part of the story goes.

A minute later shin also came out of the room. His head turned in all directions around the hall. He was probably looking for his younger brother who had left the room a little while before him, you had thought at that time.

And mabey he was or mabey he was really looking for you. You didnt know and you didnt want to find out so that if the answer was one you didnt like you wouldnt have to bury your feelings once again like you always did for those around you. For the sake of happiness for everyone else even at the cost of your own.

"He went that way" you said as you pointed a small finger in the direction of the stairs in which Manjiro, Shins younger brother had decended.

Shin had stopped when you said that. You expected him to turn and go in the direction you had pointed to, to follow and console his brother but he only stared at you.

You had stayed in your position hiding behind the corner of the hospital wall when you had spoken, only showing half of your body. Shin started to slowly walk over to you and you backed behind the wall more. So that you would both not be seen together if anyone were to leave your mothers room and venture into the hall or if his brother were to walk back up the stairs that also led to it.

He turned the corner to follow you and now with you both behind the wall he was standing in front of you as you both stared at each other neither knowing what to say.

What could he say in this situation. He didnt know. He was the adult. Ten years older than you who was only two months older than Emma. Making you thirteen months younger than Mikey. You were still a child and you had just lost your mother.

The only parent you had and the only other person you had with you all your life other than him. What could he possibly say except...

"Im sorry" he murmured as his voice cracked holding back tears.

"I'm so, so sorry" he repeated as he knelt down on the hard white tiles of the hospital floor in front of you and wrapped his arms around your much smaller body.

You could do nothing more than stay still as he hugged you. It hit you then. Your mother was really dead this time. There was no going back from here.

You couldnt move. You couldnt cry. You couldnt think.

It was a rush of everything and nothing all at once.

So you just let him hold you.

You let yourself rely on him.

And that was the worst mistake you could have made.

But you couldnt stop yourself.

And in that moment you didnt want to stop yourself.

Right then all you wanted was to fall into his warm embrace.

You wanted to soke in your amazing older brothers light and reminisce in all the memories you had with your mother that you would never have again and that you could never make more of.

But that embrace he gave you spoke to you.

It told you kind words.

Words that said 'its going to be alright'.

And just for a little while...you would let yourself believe that.

☆☆☆

If i accidentally delete one more of my drafts i will have a mental break down and you will be made hear about it 👹.

@rianemorgan @kazuhabrainrot @night-shadowblood-writes2

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