#anapanion

[vaultsixtynine]

@ventruee ouououou. okay. flat disclaimer that some of the stuff in this post is still subject to change because i have finalized None of this in my mind.

anapanion is 2 things: 1. companion filling the role of "successfully convincing you they have their shit together enough for it to not be a problem and are here to support You" companion (think eder; mellow. looking out for you. LYING. but convincingly and for a long time.) and 2. durge if you don't play durge, and possibly even if you do. her being not the same thing as an actual durge playthrough is important, because it still would allow other people's thoughts about that to exist And people to imagine their own durge characters who are The Real Deal. ana herself being so amenable and looking out for the player would also make later durge decisions very not niceys. and it gives you someone who intimately understands, directly and irrevocably, what you're going through and is either a) just as dedicated to solving the issue or b) a significant blocker on your own quest for bhaalspawn power because she is Not A Fan.

but more directly for her own questline which is what you actually asked about: anapanion has to resolve two things:

her history with her cult and search for meaning/closure in how people have had power over her, how it shaped her, and how she has harmed others in the past (very parallel with other bg3 companions and their questlines) - because it's Video Game Fantasy she DOES return to the site of injury and does excavate Something from the wreckage. she gets answers. are they enough? that really kind of depends on her at this point.

her current and continued existence with the mendicants. i think a major ? unresolved tension point even with other mendicants is that ana has been shaped for undying loyalty. and she just shifted where that loyalty is placed into something she trusts (and is objectively! to be clear!) far better for the world at large. at no point has she looked to herself and asked. if you could do anything, what would you do? this is also similar to other companions and is very like. she is inside a labyrinth she built in her adulthood to shelter her from having to deal with the terror of absolute free will, a thing she has never felt she has a right to. she's still lingering in the mouth of the labyrinth, helping passerby with their problems but never actually Leaving.

i think the tone of how the first thing gets dealt with relates directly to a) how the second thing rolls out and b) how she feels about existence in general and The Player SPECIFICALLY, which will lean either towards Good or Bad end.

she currently does have to face her old cult leader / her direct abuser and i think the player can convince her to not kill him (by default she Will kill him if the player leaves it up to her or if she has a good relationship with them*), if they so desire. this will put ana on her "bad" ending path because the player essentially continues a trend that her abuser himself started and that she continues to carry out in subtle self-destructive ways which is that her emotions and free will don't matter; she exists to do something or be an extension of someone else's will, and The Player has decided they're going to fill that slot where previously she was operating pretty alright by herself using her mendicant ideals as her internal polaris. (also, there's actual either material or plot-relevant-information advantages to him staying alive - to provide a counterweight towards just letting her kill him because there's no reason not to do so besides rp morality).

ok finally going to cut this because it's Fucking long

from there the player's influence over her snowballs in a wildly degrading way because now a precedent has been set and (especially a durge) you are connected in an undeniable way. you supported her. you gave her something she was lacking. you put your hand on her collar and pulled it tight. you injected direction and impetus into her world and she can and will leave her labyrinth as long as it's directly into your arms. you can hurt her and she'll thank you. you've supplanted the role her abuser was playing in her life and undermined her agency enough that she accepts and even welcomes it. she is once again trapped in the cycle she fought so hard to escape. but she loves and believes in you. isn't that the part you cared about?

*actively having a bad relationship with anathema (which essentially requires playing an evil character) will make convincing her not to kill her old cult leader easier. she's in an extremely fucked up headspace in this moment and you are echoing the worst facets of herself and her trauma that she is constantly suppressing. playing a character w a good relationship w her and trying to convince her not to kill him makes it Harder because she's less susceptible to someone who has ACTUALLY genuinely been supportive of her in a healthy way trying to force this issue, which she feels strongly about. my good, actual, healthy friend would not try to override my burgeoning free will like this. i know they think this is a simplistic morality situation because of how video games have been historically written but i'm more resistant to it because they would not intentionally hurt me. (etc.)

people who Fucked Up with the first part here and just realized that this is not video game logic where killing people = bad no matter what will get the opportunity to do a little u-turn (not a complete u-turn but you can bring it back a bit) on the second half of her backstory resolution which is in the house of hope and directly has to do with her (devil) mother (not the other one who is off in parts unknown). i think evil ending is more obvious here - the player can surmise that her mother's beyond saving and either you just leave her behind or ana will kill her herself (THIS IS BAD. THIS ONE IS WAY MORE OBVIOUS. KILLING YOUR OWN MOTHER YOU JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT WHO IS IMPRISONED/NEEDS HELP IS BAD.), or you can be normal and free her and that's literally so fucking obvious that it's good even the dullest of gamers can grasp that one. it is an extra set of steps after you've grabbed the orphic hammer so some people will be like 'uh not worth it' and just bail, but that's like. a betrayal that cuts so deep it will drive bad-ending ana EVER closer to the player. bad ending ana thrives on neglect if you haven't noticed yet, and it SHOULD feel bad to watch this happen. you're gonna have to work for it if you want bad ending ana. also, much like her abuser, there is material or plot-info advantages to LEAVING her mother locked up besides the fact that it just takes slightly longer.

at this point bad ending ana is like fully divorced from anything that isn't the player. i very much want this to feel bad and weird and strange bc it's such a common video game Thing to just supplant a companion's Everything and bg3 plays with this quite a lot (including. coughs. with the emperor, who is trying to Be The Player for the actual player) - and bad ending ana just straight up doesn't mention the mendicants again. the lack of reactivity is because she no longer thinks of them; they're serving no purpose; they've been supplanted - the love she protected and championed so ardently is now the player's love - her love for them, or vice versa, or whatever way you want to cut it. the player who has allowed this to happen now has a pet assassin who fully wants the player to take over the cult of the absolute if they want it, and rejecting her at this point will be pretty much impossible for her to come back from. a durge who goes full King Bhaalspawn route will get the loyalest dog ever ever. if aforementioned durge wants to rip her to pieces for her impostor bhaal blood, that's their right isn't it? she never wanted it anyway. they'd be showing their love for her if they freed her from it now. (orin does encourage this to happen so she has one less competitor but bhaal himself actually doesn't have much of an opinion on ana other than 'good at killing; useful; not a proper claimant to my bloodline so doesn't Really pose a proper threat')

okay yes that was all very dark and also fun to explore (because as a player character ana would never let herself get this bad but as a companion? it happens so slowly, at first, that she doesn't notice that it's becoming just like the bad old days) - good ending ana happens a) you either actively encourage her to rip her abuser apart or leave it up to her (she favors the second one here the most, to be clear, as its a re-affirmation of her agency) and b) obviously get her mommy out of hell. come on. she won't be around for that long because she immediately goes to find ana's other mother (and if both mizora and her were in the same place for too long it would get Insane), but there's Some Closure. and a promise for the future. this ana has a resolution scene with the mendicants where she admits she was being a big dumbass and asks them to forgive her and. there was nothing to forgive. she did not sin. she needs no absolution. ana crying into her elbow. love is real and she loves the player (in whatever form factor the player has encouraged; ana romance goes crazay) and knows they love her too. love wins!!! more importantly: she feels strong enough to be naked and full of free will in the world; she leaves the labyrinth; she doesn't need anything but Herself to guide her. she will happily go her own way and continue to work for the mendicants Or join the player on whatever they're up to next (and she Will still be a mendicant thru it all), but her agency issue has been fully settled in her own favor.

medium ending ana (conflicted relationship with the player, hot/cold, frustrated with their choices or their lack of concern for anyone else that isn't them, tried to interface with them on their level and felt that that was spat back in her face too many times for her to forgive, OR thinks they're a good person who nevertheless smothered her with your own will and never listened to her) - you either ignore her personal quests entirely or go 50/50 on them. she kills her abuser and her mom is killed/left behind OR she doesn't kill her abuser and her mom gets rescued. this ana will always leave the player no matter what and always go back to the mendicants and kind of... sort herself out, in a way? no longer searching for swords to jump on but also less engaged with all the beauty And horror of everything around her. less available for other people. she's resolving her own agency issue through the sheer power of "you suck and didn't support her but you also didn't overtly try to Be Evil About It and she did her best with you but realized that you're not worth her fucking time. which is a revelation. that her time is worth Something" - because again, the point is agency. and if you fucked up but not in an intentional way, she's going to realize she DOES have her own agency. the agency to walk away from your dumb ass. she'll figure out the rest as she goes.

i also think it's fun to have a 'good' personal ending for a character when (or in spite of) players having a bad relationship with them because like. she's got it babygirl. you were not the sole avenue of her salvation. she's going to be alright. she would have loved to love you if you made that an option, but realizing you're so sucks is also good enough for government work.

intentionally leaving her faux-durge resolution off of this because this is already so long and that.... isn't central to her ending options. and also i haven't made my final durge decisions yet. i kind of imagine that resolution has three main options - anathema rejects bhaal and dies, anathema rejects bhaal and you did a cheeky sidequest to make sure she lives (details nonexistent atm), or anathema submits to bhaal, and those are ancillary but also subservient to the larger ending options.

if you read all this i'm kissing you with tongue

[vaultsixtynine]

actually i take it back even tho ana's dancing card (psychosexual non-relationships to have w antagonists) is full raphael is very cordial with her. doesn't want her in his house because that will cause an Event he doesn't want to happen but he does act very fond with her when interacting with her out and about in the planes. she is mystified by this and he's Essentially just keeping a useful pawn close to his chest if plan 358B needs to come to fruition (she is a keystone counterweight in at least 2 of his ongoing deals) but the contrast between how he treats astarion vs. ana (and even the rest of the party if she's anapanion) is soooooooo stark and. very funny.

[vaultsixtynine]

to be clear the entire organization is built in firm and earnest belief that she is not being MADE to do anything. she does not have to do Anything she doesn't want to do. and she knows this.

but also she has a complex called "i can't be around this many people who actually want to help me because i have already decided i'm unhelpable" and it gets more and more excruciating as she lies to other mendicants and Knows that they know that she's lying.

the disappointment and care pointed in her direction makes her stomach drop out from underneath her and god she can't -- deal with it. she can't. it is not a 'not believing in herself' issue and it is not a self-confidence issue it is entirely fueled by her inability to excuse or forgive herself. she will never ever ever be caught saying "it wasn't my fault" and she's not fucking interested in having someone talk her out of that.

not before the game starts, anyway - and gale and wyll have both tried, a bit, and realized that it's something so immovably deep within her that they're not going to be able to deal with when she's only around them for - at most - 4 sporadic weeks a year.

i think ana's on voluntary exile from the mendicants within the past 2ish years and it's way less of a "theyre hunting her down" scenario and more of a "she avoids them like the plague because she'll happily do mendicant activities until she drops dead but theyre expecting things of her that she doesnt want to give. namely: coming back to her guildhome in waterdeep for therapy that she's excruciatingly overdue for". she still wears the armband and drops off dues regularly but she just doesnt. talk. to any of them. and they do try to interacr w her because they are AWARE she is doing this and AWARE it is hurting her.

i think the catalyst for this was 2ish years ago another outcast from her same cult turned up in the ranks and she just Shut Down. no thank you, do not interact with me at all and i Will let all my progress unravel. bye

[vaultsixtynine]

in my kitchen cooking up a big ass anapanion post

[vaultsixtynine]

anapanion (anathema but as a companion) basically requires you to visit raphael's house to complete one of her major 2 sidequests and also. heavily alters the underlying lore of the house of hope. not because i didn't like it, but because the idea was Good but Not Fully Executed As Interestingly As It Could've Been. imo

[kuromi-hoemie]

i love anapanion <3

in my kitchen cooking up a big ass anapanion post