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nitroglycerin-sponge · 8 months ago

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Mecharoni Pizza Part 4

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Bonus: Pizza Varieties

Pizza Varieties are formatted as follows: [Title] [Descriptor] [Ingredient] and [Ingredient] [Style]

Titles: Guardian's, Manager's Special, Space Pirate's, Tyrant's, Star Lord's, Cheese Lover's, DragonLord's, Marksman's, Star Captain's, Mecha Gunner's, Mechanic's, Freshman's, Y-Mart Shopper's, Frugal Shopper's, Adventurer's, Mecha Pilot's, Overlord's, Instructor's, Khan's, Kingadent's, Teacher's, Family Sized, Star Fighter's, Supreme, Vegetarian, Meat Lover's, [none]

Descriptor: Titan, Reheated, Soggy, Month Old, Year Old, 100 Year Old, Beefy, Reanimated, Mysterious, Artisan, Fluffy, Half Eaten, Stacked, Rejected, Deadly, Double Decker, Irresistible, Golden Brown, Omnipotent, Healing, Moving, Accidentally made, Heroic, Holiday, Recalled, Late night, Smoking, Custom Ordered, Radioactive, Regurgitated, Gluten Free, Personal Pan, Blessed, Holy, Soft, Puny, Non-refundable, Well Seasoned, 3-Second Rule, Mostly Editable, Flame Engulfed, Ventilated, Invisible, Mathematically Sound, Infinitely Improbable, Smelly, Sizzling, Cursed, Blinding, Very Good, Tiny, Inverted, Robot Made, Sour Dough, Cold, Frozen, Long Lasting, Sentient, Cheese Filled, Oven Fresh, Scary, Undigestable, Colossal, Gamma, Beta, Poisonous, Outworldly, Tasty, Haunted, Fresh, Broiled, Two Star, Dairy Free, Insured, Grilled, Under Seasoned, Technologically Advanced, Legendary, Vampyric, Lactose Free, Undead, Explosive, Glowing, Specially Prepared, Exotic*, Exhumed, Bite Size, Theoretically Improbable, Sugar Coated, Transforming, Self Aware, Foul, Moist, Chewy, Undercooked, Good to Go, Rare, Pungent, All mighty, Sour tasting, Hot, Sweet smelling, Multifunctional, Epic, Hypnotic, Quality Tested, MSG Free, Whole Wheat, Charred, Shredded, Microscopic, Microwaved, Stepped on, Metallic, Over seasoned, Caramelized, Hand Tossed, Pretty Big, Medium, Disintegrating, Chocolate Covered, Small, Fried, Mithril Chef's, Nano, Burnt, Dropped, Self eating, Four Star, Foul, Common, Triple Decker, Sat on, Galactic, [none]

Ingredients: Hot Fudge, Lime, Toothpaste, Caramel, Okra, Pepperoni, Eel, Duck, Pumpkin, Green Pepper, Mayonase, Bacon, Grizzly, Pepper, Egg Roll, Seedspitter, Sneevil, Lettuce, Sun Dried Tomato, Pomegranate, Salt, French Fry, Jelly, Ice Cream, Straw Berry, Gum, Provolone, Chocolate Chip, Ham, Maple Syrup, Swiss Cheese, Ribs, Asparagus, Onion, Egg, Gram Cracker, Marshmellow, Imitation-Dolphin, Expresso, Cereal, Almond, Candy Cane, Noodle, Yam, Chicken, Avocado, Fish, Coffee Bean, Pickle, Citrus, Orange, Walnut, Pork Belly, Soylent Green, Mystery Meat, Octopus, Tater Tot, Catnip, Nuts and Bolts, Parsley, Raisin, Taffy, Anchovy, Bat, Rat, Lemon, Gouda, Red Pepper, Popcorn, Hamburger, Cheese, Milk, Pineapple, Road kill, Snake, Ox Tongue, Macaroni, Mognip, Meatball, Olive, Skunk, Gorillaphant, Blue Cheese, Anchovy, Split Pea, Yogurt, Meteorite, Asteroid, Shellfish, Oil & Vinegar, Apple, Carne Asada, Fig, Fried Chicken, Dog Biscut, Sushi, Tapiocca, Steak, Peanut Butter, Jam, Cracker, Bean, Squid, Sweet & Sour Sauce, Oatmeal, Corn, BBQ Chicken, Gator, Sour Cream, Tofu, Grease, Jello, Pumpernickel

Styles: Pizza, Sicilian Pizza, Ultimate Pizza, Thick Crust Pizza, Giant Pizza, Pizza Slice, Square Pizza, Flavoured Pizza, Triangular-shaped Pizza, Pan Pizza, Pizza Pie, Chicago Style Pizza, Deep Dish Pizza

#mechquest #mecharoni pizza #parma john #maza rella #nitro sponge filter tag

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hermesserpent-stuff · 2 years ago

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@theriddlenerd you seemed interested in the post about me building off of the idea of Quentin and Dr. Strange interacting more.

Quentin is not entirely sure what to think of the 'wizard' incident. Tinkerer and the Enforcers had been mother-henning over him and he had not left the apartment for just about a week. He is starting to go crazy. He had felt relief at first but now feels frantic energy burning beneath the surface of his skin. It leaked out into the production of several ideas for equipment and the creation of a taser-like bite for his gremlins, just in case.

He finds himself in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning baking. He had been unable to sleep and had spent the night watching musicals with Montana and the other Enforcers, who were currently sleeping in the living room. They had fallen asleep around midnight and Quentin's brain had refused to turn off. So here he is at 3 in the morning, trying to be quiet while mixing together the batter for blueberry muffins. He has music in his ears, which soothes his nerves. A gremlin sits on his shoulder, in sleep mode.

He taps the batter out into the paper-lined muffin tin and steps in time to his music. He pushes the tray into the oven and then drops the dirty dishes into the sink. He starts the water and mixes in some soap. Quentin turns off the water in anticipation of the music drop and spins in time to it. He then goes back to scrubbing in time to the rhythm. He also starts a kettle on the stove to boil, suddenly wanting tea. As he pulls out his mug and spins carefully in time, his heart skips a beat as he catches sight of Doctor Strange standing in the kitchen. Between him and the exit.

"I've been trying to track you down."

"By the Scottish play!"

He yelps tearing off his headphones and hopping backwards. The gremlin wakes up and screeches loudly. The wizard blinks at him and Quentin reaches behind himself. There is the kettle. He could throw it.

"I need to resolve this issue of your magical trace."

"And I need you out of my home!"

Quentin yells, throwing the kettle and rushing forwards. The wizard’s eyes widen and he creates a portal to redirect the kettle to somewhere else. But Quentin had been counting on that reaction to allow him to get close enough to jab the man harshly in the ribs with an elbow and escape into the living room. His gremlin is screaming bloody murder and he is happy to see that the Enforcers are up. Some sort of glowing rope wraps around his ankle. He slams into the floor. Dan is already leaping forwards. The wizard is forced to go on the defense as Dan uncollapses his staff and starts swinging. Montana kneels beside Quentin and starts trying to remove the glowing rope, hissing as it burns his fingertips. The cowboy pulls a knife and cuts through it, ignoring the sparks. Quentin winces but focuses on getting his gremlin to go grab his gear. He notes that Dan and Ox are now engaging the wizard who is using magic glowing circles to fight them.

“We need to get you out of here.”

“If he can find me at home, he’ll find me anywhere. If anything, we need to make a stand here.”

At that moment his gremlin flies back with his gauntlets and several of its brethren. Quentin has a plan. Part of one anyways.

“He moves his hands for spell work. If you can lasso him, and we can pin him, I think we can try to talk, maybe? Though he is the Sorcerer Supreme… so this is probably really stupid.”

“Good thing Im a little stupid. One of my lassos in that first kitchen cabinent. Its the closest one.”

Of course, Montana sleeps with a knife and keeps multiple lassos around the apartment. Quentin nods and puts his gauntlets on. He moves his hands, gets his gremlins' attention, and starts sending out commands. They fly into the fight, ducking around Dan and Ox while Montana scoots around the entire fight.

The wizard attempts to use the glowing rope to hold either of the Enforcers, but both are fairly quick and good at redirecting the wizard's attention. The gremlins are able to dart in and deliver electric-filled bites to the wizard. Montana quickly returns and they attempt to lasso and pin the wizard. But when he hits the floor, Quentin finds that his initial theory had been very wrong. Fire lights up the rope and an invisible force shoves all four of them to the ground. Quentin lets out a pained cough as he had been slammed both into the floor and a wall. Ow!

“I call upon the enchanted chains of Azeroth!”

Quentin feels panic as chains secure themselves around his body. Terror rips through him as a portal opens up underneath him. Montana shares one terrified look with him. Quentin feels a twinge of regret that he has no comfort to give the cowboy. And then he is free-falling. He squeezes his eyes tight and starts running through play lines. He used to do that whenever he was particularly distressed in high school and it soothes his nerves a little. He hears something as the falling feeling ends and finds himself being forced into sleep.

He wakes up in a strange room devoid of his gauntlets. He runs a small check on himself. No gauntlets, no tech, no gremlins. He is inside a circle seal once more, bound in glowing chains that are a different color from the rope used last time. But the chair is different. Softer. But it also has a soft grey glow that makes him a nervous. He twitches a little at the silence and starts tapping out a beat and humming to himself. Definitely a bit worse than last time.

Honestly, he maybe should have just shown the charm last time. But it had been given to him by someone he had come to see as a grandmother right before her death. So he would very much like to not hand it over to strange magical people who kidnaped him and tied him up in basements.

Doctor Strange suddenly appears in the chair across from him and Quentin cannot suppress his flinch.

“Alright. Enough nonsense.”

Quentin scrunches his nose at the man’s words.

“Avoiding kidnapping isn’t nonsense.”

Quentin does not like being dismissed. A pained sigh comes from the man.

“If you would just cooperate, none of this extra running around would have been necessary.”

Quentin tilts his chin upwards and huffs.

“How would you feel about being portaled from somewhere to a foreign room not once, but twice? Maybe you're not actually doing this as an act of preservation of any particular laws. Perhaps you're lying and in reality, you do intend harm to the world beyond. What reason do I have to cooperate?”

Strange seems to consider his words steepling his fingers. Quentin twitches a little at the stretching silence. He is averse to such stretches of silence. His knee bounces a little as Strange stares at him. This is why he likes fighting Spider-man. The kid is a chatterbox. And not prone to kidnapping him.

“I suppose you are right. You have nothing except my word to assure you that I am who I say I am.”

“To be quite frank with you, I only had the slightest belief in magic before you dragged me here. I really don't know what a sorcerer supreme is.”

Huh. Okay. That is a little more than he intended to say. And a bit too truthful. He should be holding more cards to his chest. He notes that the chair’s glow has shifted to light green. Right. So that might have something to do with things. That makes him uncomfortable and he feels a flash of determination to watch his mouth.

“So you were serious about just being an illusionist that uses tech?”

“Yes.”

His tongue feels the urge to say more but he keeps it firmly locked behind his teeth. That answer is enough. Strange tilts his head and the chair glows a little brighter.

“So the ‘heirloom’ around your neck might be magical, but you would not know.”

“I would not.”

It feels like he is yanking his own words down away from his tongue. He is not even sure what else he would add. Okay. No. Thinking about it makes it worse. He starts up a mental run-through of the musical version of Legally Blond, letting the play roll through his mind while partially paying attention. Given he had watched that musical millions of times, it is not too hard to be semi-focused.

Strange's eyes narrow as he leans forwards.

“Why did you hesitate to show me the object?”

“I want to keep it. It means a lot. To me.”

Quentin says with a small twitch. A slip-up. He had not meant to say that much. It is fine. This is fine. Strange looks that more intrigued.

“I see. I still want to check it. You put on a rather convincing show of being a sorcerer.”

“I did special effects for movies.”

Till he found that he needed a lot more money and turned to crime. And then found the thrill of crime too good to give up. Strange blinks and then folds his hands into each other.

“If the object is benign, you will probably be able to keep it. There are millions of charms and blessings out in the world that need not be collected. That might be the case here. One of the main reasons I pulled you here is because you look and sound like a threat. But it appears you believe that is all an act. This will be easier if you cooperate.”

“Believe? I know I'm not using real magic for my illusions.”

Quentin says with a huff of irritation. Strange gives a small nod.

“You must understand that I have to be suspicious. Especially given the magic residue.”

“... I genuinely have no idea why that's happening.”

Quentin says, letting frustration hiss out in his voice. Strange gives another small nod.

“I can understand the frustration. If you let me examine the object, we can resolve this.”

Quentin hunches his shoulders a little.

“Fine.”

Not like he can stop the guy. His stomach twists as Strange stands and walks closer. The wizard moves his hands and Quentin feels the charm move. He suddenly is hit with the desire to hide it and he can feel it stutter and shake. Quentin closes his eyes. No. This needs to be over. He feels the charm slip out and he squeezes his hands into fists. This is very very uncomfortable. He cracks open his eyes. The charm hangs in the air, glowing purple. The greenish-blue turquoise dragon face hovers at the end of the simple chain. Strange stares at it and the glowing symbols that hover around it.

“Hmm.”

Silence follows the small noise from the wizard. The thudding of his own heart fills Quentin’s ears.

“Where did you get this? It was a gift, right?”

“My grandmother. Right before she died.”

His brain is too wigged out to try to control his tongue.

“It seems to be for anti-possession and feeding a blessing someone put on you. Presumably your grandmother. But it does not seem to be doing anything else. You can keep it.”

“Great.”

Quentin says feeling instant relief as the wizard steps backwards.

“So you won't be portaling me away again?”

“No. Though I am somewhat intrigued by your tech. It is impressive, and very convincing.”

Quentin puffs up a little. Okay, so that is a pretty big complement from an actual wizard.

“Thanks.”

Strange waves his hands and the chains disappear. Quentin shudders a little and tucks the charm away beneath his shirt.

“Apologises for using the truth chair of oblivia on you. You must understand my worry over dangerous magic being in the wrong hands.”

Ah. That explains the pressing of words against his tongue.

“Oh, that's a fantastic name. Giving objects an ‘of’ makes them sound so much more mystical. I'm going to steal that idea.”Quentin says as he rubs his wrists and stands, “And I sort of do. I'd rather the world not blow up from unseen forces. You better not try to Men in Black me though.”

Quentin says with a huff, smoothing down his shirt.

“No. I dont think that will be necessary. As long as you stay away from the arcane arts.”

Strange opens another portal and pulls out Quentin’s gauntlets and one of his gremlins. It seems to be in sleep mode. Quentin takes the gauntlets back first and slips them back on. It feels like security. He notices that Strange is absently petting the gremlin. It seems that their cuteness has won them another fan. He activates his gantlets and snaps his fingers. The gremlin wakes up with a stretch and yawn and then flaps to his shoulder. Strange looks at it a moment longer.

“Real imps are far less friendly. And cute.”

The wizard sighs. Quentin reaches up and holds it out to the wizard. Strange blinks in surprise and gently takes it. While the sorcerer holds it, the gremlin churrs.

“I appreciate you wanting to keep the world safe. Spider-man does that for the city all the time and I still am on good terms with him. But perhaps, you should consider a different method for handling potential threats that you're not sure are threats at all. I'm a fantastic illusionist, who just happened to have a protection charm. And as much as I hate to take myself off a pedestal, there are likely other people like me. So just… Just think about it?”

“Think!~”

The gremlin copies with a squeak. Strange’s eyes crinkle slightly at the tiny beast.

“Alright. I will consult with Wong about this. We may have come on a little too forcefully for the situation.”

The wizard admits.

“Maybe a little. If you want some help detecting tech over magic; I'm great at making things. I'd rather not have anyone else get kidnapped like me.”

Quentin gives a smile and the gremlin wiggles and flies back to him.

“Apologies. Again.”

Quentin rubs his arms a little.

“Thanks for the apology. I’d like to go home now. Montana’s probably going to be freaking out.”

“One of the people who fought me earlier?”

“The cowboy.”

Quentin grins thinking of his friend. He is definitely ready to go home. A portal spirals upwards from the ground and Quentin finds himself standing once more in his living room. He blinks. Light dances across the floor, showing that it is much later in the morning. He calls out.

“Hello?!”

He moves around the apartment and yelps as his gauntlet goes off. His GPS tracker has been activated. After a bit of digging, he finds his phone and he calls Montana.

“Quentin!?”

The cowboy sounds distressed.

“Hey, Montana. I'm alright. The wizard dropped me back at the apartment.”

Quentin tries to exude calm.

“Are you injured? Are you okay? Stay right there we’re on our way.”

“No, I'm fine. I'm okay really. Nothing happened. Not really.”

“Stay on the phone with me.”

It is an easy request to say yes to. The conversation mostly consists of Quentin reassuring Montana that he is fine, really. Quentin just about drops the phone as the front door opens. He feels very jumpy. Montana rushes him and pulls him into a very tight hug. He squeeks and hugs back. He feels another set of arms and spots Dan hugging him to. Then they are lifted in the air by Ox. Quentin relaxes. It is good to be home.

#tssm mysterio #tssm quentin #tssm #doctor strange #hermes speaks #spider nephew au #Youtube

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bluedreamcarts · 3 years ago

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Cooking Meat - How to Braise Meat

Beef cheeks Braising is one of the classic cooking techniques, often used for 'second class cuts' of meat which require long slow cooking. They are called 'second class cuts' because they are tough and chewy if cooked using the 'fast' methods like pan frying, barbecuing or roasting. They are tough because of connective tissue which becomes difficult to cut or chew when cooked quickly, or with dry or radiant heat. The good news is that these meat cuts come into their own when braised or stewed very gently for a long period of time in liquid, as this style of cooking breaks down the connective tissue to be juicy, gelatinous and delicious.

Braising is almost the same as stewing - braising is normally applied to larger or whole cuts of meat slowly cooked in a liquid, whilst stewing is used when referring to cut or smaller pieces cooked (wholly immersed) in a liquid. Notice I didn't say 'boiled' or 'simmered' That's what we call it when you see a visible bubbling of the cooking liquid. In fact braising is best done at a low temperature of around 85 degrees C / 185 degrees C with an almost imperceptible shimmer - not a rolling boil. Braising refers to this cooking in liquid, so technically you can braise anything. Vegetables, fruit, chicken, fish.

As this article is about meat braising, we'll focus on the tougher cuts of meat that save you money and taste great when you use this cooking method.

Beef cuts: Shin, Osso Bucco, short rib, chuck, shoulder, gravy beef, plate, cheek, oxtail, tendon, tripe, tongue

Lamb Cuts: Shoulder, shin (shanks), tongue

Pork cuts: trotter, knuckle, hock, ribs, spare ribs, belly, shoulder, tripe

How to braise or stew:

As stewing is almost the same as braising, you can follow the steps below.

For stewing, cut into smaller pieces, like a dice. When cutting things to stew (or generally) look at the size of the mouth or the spoon to eat it with. Always cut your items into a size that's easily picked up with a spoon and eaten. A stew should have enough liquid to totally cover (immerse) the meat.

A braise can be done without cutting so small (Not bite sized).

You can braise medium to large pieces of meat. Medium means cuts like spare ribs, short ribs, tongue, "steaks" (cut from the lower left or shoulder) or osso bucco.

Large means whole cuts like the size you would normally roast, and can include whole ducks, whole chicken, lamb shanks or primal cuts of beef.

Beef cheeks You can braise by immersing in liquid totally, or you can put into a braising dish or casserole with a tight fitting lid, and cover halfway to three quarters up the meat with the liquid. Cover with the lid. Bring to a simmer on the stove top, then put in a gentle oven at 150 degrees C (302 degrees F) with the lid on, until the meat is tender all the way through.

Prepare your braising liquid. Flavour it with the things you like. This can be your classic European flavours like carrot, onion, celery, thyme, bay leaf, peppercorn, tomato. Or you can use some Asian aromats like ginger, spring onion, carrot, lemongrass, soy, star anise

Clean or trim your larger cut to braise whole. Don't worry about this too much. You just need to trim off any excess fat as this will melt off and float on the top as an oily liquid, soaking up all the flavours. lean is best for this

Bring your braising stock to a simmer and then put your meat into it. Watch the temperature until it comes back up to a gentle simmer, and then adjust it so the liquid is moving ever so slightly.

That's it. Now you have to wait. Keep it at that temperature until tender. For pork this is 45 minutes to 1 hour or thereabouts. For lamb about 1-2 hours depending on the cut. For beef it is 1-5 to 5 hours.

This depends on the size of the cut. Beef short ribs are 1 to 1.5 hours depending on quality. A corned beef or a silver side can be 3-4 hours as it is quite large. You'll be looking for the tenderness of the meat, and take it as far as it will go without it starting to fall apart. Ox tail about 1.5 to 2. hours. Beef cheek about 3 hours.

Perfect your technique on smaller items like pork spare ribs (45 min to 1 hour), lamb shanks (1.5 to 2 hours), pork belly (40 minutes to 1 hour), and beef short rib (1 to 1.5 hours

Helpful tips

Meat should be soft, juicy and tender. It should come off the bone easily when you want it too, but it shouldn't fall off the bone by itself

If over cooked, a braised meat will be dry and stringy, even though it is in a sauce

Chicken cooks quite quickly, and doesn't need to braise until tender, unless it is an old boiler - in which case you do need long, slow braising like meat

Red wine is a great braising medium for meat. Use the European aromats mentioned above, and add a little tomato paste, mushroom and rosemary when braising lamb shanks

Water is great for braising. It makes a 'stock' as the meat cooks. Just add plenty of other flavours - vegetables, herbs, dry mushrooms, spices etc. Onions are always great to give body

Don't thicken the sauce until the end, or it's harder and longer to cook

Don't salt the dish properly until the end. Use a little salt while cooking, but salt at the end. As the sauce cooks, some will evaporate, and it will 'reduce', concentrating the flavours, including the saltiness

When the meat is tender, taste the cooking liquid. If it is delicious as is, thicken it with cornflour or some roux. If it needs more taste, transfer it into a steel pot (strain it), then reduce until it thickens and concentrates. At the point where it is tasting perfect, use it like that, or thicken with roux or corn starch

Don't braise first class cuts (expensive meat) You need the cheap nasty cuts with connective tissue for a braise to taste truly great.

Don't cut the gristle and connective tissue off the meat before braising. This is what makes it taste so wonderful. If you just braise pieces of lean meat they will become dry and tasteless. Never braise things like fillet steak, sirloin, rump, lamb cutlets or pork loin. They are best for the grill or the pan, seared or barbecued, or cooked with dry or radiant heat.

If you have any questions, visit me on my website and leave a message. I normally answer quite promptly.

Beef cheeks You'll also find many recipes and resources for both Western and Asian cuisine in my archives

#Beef cheeks

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youcouldmakealife · 7 years ago

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The Great Potato Trip (Pt 1)

I am so hungry right now:

The Great Potato Trip:

In which David is far too ambitious and decided to cram a billion places in, 14 cities in 30 days is honestly more exhausting than a playoff run, Jake is so very tired of cathedrals, and David finds potatoes everywhere he goes.

Excerpts from David’s travelogue, which mostly just becomes a ‘yummy food we ate’ and ‘place for us to bicker in writing’. Jake keeps it in his office and pulls it out when he wants to feel mushy. Not that he needs any help.

Week One:

Reykjavik, Iceland

Most memorable dish:

David - Smoked salmon with potato rosti and wasabi yogurt

Jake - Baby back ribs slow cooked in Toasted Porter beer, homemade BBQ sauce, fresh salad, lime, spring onions & curly fries

Notes:

Jake: Only got like two of those curly fries. David seemed to enjoy them though.

David: You had half of them.

Jake: I thought there were more than four. Must be wrong. Anyway, the waterfalls are pretty ballin’. Kind of sucks we’re only here for a couple days.

Oslo, Norway

Most memorable dish:

David - Oven-baked Arctic Char, fennel, tomatoes, crushed potatoes with EVOO, garlic confit, butter sauce

Jake - Reindeer medallion with celeriac puree, fresh vegetables and creamy game sauce with blackberries

Notes:

David: I can’t believe you ate reindeer.

Jake: Babe, if I knew it’d upset you this much I wouldn’t have eaten it.

David: I’m not upset.

Jake: It was really good though.

David: JAKE.

Stockholm, Sweden

Most memorable dish:

David - Pan fried perch, salt-baked beets, pickled lemon, new potatoes, horseradish and beurre noisette

Jake - Fillet of reindeer with västerbotten croquettes and a red wine sauce flavored by smoked bone marrow of ox

Notes:

David: STOP EATING REINDEER.

Jake: I thought you weren’t upset!

Copenhagen, Denmark

Most memorable dish:

David - Skin fried pike-perch with mashed potatoes, apple-celery salad and hazelnut butter

Jake - Braised veal cheek with ramson capers, spinach and smoked marrow

Notes:

Jake: Honestly I’m kind of worried you’re going to become a potato. When was the last time you didn’t get something with potatoes?

David: How would that make me become a potato?

Jake: You are what you eat!

David: So why aren’t you a dick yet?

Jake: I love you. I’m taking a picture of this and sending it to Volkie.

Jake: Note by Volkie: ‘I have never been more proud in my life’.

#fic snippet #The Potato Discourse #david chapman #jake lourdes

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044-eu · 5 years ago

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Recipes from Lombardy - Risotto, cutlets, polenta, a quiet but tasty cuisine

The typical Lombard cuisine has many facets. Having plains lakes and mountains differs a lot from province to province. However, let's start with the best-known dishes in the world, namely risotto with Milanese and cutlets in Milan. Milan is also home to the famous panettone. Instead, from the other provinces, renowned are the PIZZOCCHERI OF VALTELLINA or even the SBRISOLONA of Mantua. To taste definitely the risotto with perch and the perch in carpon, typical recipes of Lake Como. The appetizers are mostly made up of cured meats and cheeses of which this region is rich. we remember the carpaccio of bresaola which is a typical appetizer of Valtellina.

Carpaccio di bresaola della Valtellina

This starter should be prepared at least an hour before eating it to give the meat time to macerate in its seasoning Necessary for Valtellina's bresaola carpaccio 400 grams of bresaola in rather thin slices 40 grams of rocket Parmesan flakes just enough olive oil, salt, pepper and lemon juice, just enough Preparation of Valtellina bresaola carpaccio In a serving tray put a layer of rocket and over the slices of bresaola, trying not to overlap them too much. Now mix the olive oil, salt, pepper and lemon juice in a bowl and with this emulsion wet the slices of bresaola. Above all the flakes of Parmesan cheese. Let the meat taste at least an hour before serving.

Milanese risotto

The first dish of the Lombard tradition known all over the world. It's not an easy recipe to prepare even if it looks simple. here the great cook does the difference. Required for Risotto in Milan 500 grams of Carnaroli rice 50 grams of ox marrow a litre and a half of meat broth 100 grams of butter 1 small onion a sachet of powder 100 grams of grated Parmesan cheese Preparation of risotto in Milan In a rather large pot put the meat broth and when it boils add the saffron saffron sachet that will give it that characteristic yellow color. In a large saucepan fry the finely chopped onion with half butter and the marrow, cooking everything over a very low heat and very slowly. After about ten minutes add the rice, stirring often so that it does not stick to the bottom and toast it. Now slowly add the meat stock until the rice is cooked through. Turn off the heat, add the butter and cheese and stir and serve the very hot risotto

PizzoCCHERI of Valtellina

Necessary for Valtellina PIZZOCCHERI 300 grams of buckwheat flour 250 grams of white flour 100 grams of butter 400 grams of fresh cheese 3 cloves garlic 500 grams of cabbage or cleaves 100 grams of grated gratturated grit cheese salt as much as you need Preparation of Valtellina PIZZOCCHERI First we prepare the PIZZOCCHERI. Then mix the two kneads and knead with a little warm water until you get a smooth and firm amalgam. Flatten the pastry with a rolling pin about 3 millimeters thick to cut into lasagna 5 or 6 centimeters wide and then in the other direction in noodles about half a centimeter wide. Leave them on the floured pavement while you clean and cut the cabbage, which will be put on the heat to cook with plenty of salted water. After about 10 minutes dive the PIZZOCCHERI and cook about 8 - 10 minutes. Drain the pasta and vegetables little by little, placing them in a rather large tin. Sprinkle each layer with grated grana padano and very fine slices of fresh cheese until all the ingredients are used. Finally, flavor the butter with the garlic cloves that should be removed once the butter is melted and put this butter on the last layer of the PIZZOCCHERI. They should be served very hot.

Risotto with perch

Necessary for risotto with perch 300 grams of perch fillets 400 grams of rice 8 sage leaves 1 glass of white wine 1 onion butter, grated parmesan cheese, flour and oil to fry just enough fish or vegetable broth, salt, just enough Preparing risotto with perch First, in a large frying pan, brown the finely chopped onion in butter along with two chopped sage leaves. When it starts to brown, put the rice and roast it and turn it around all the time. Blend the rice with white wine and when it has completely evaporated continue cooking the rice with the fish stock or salted vegetable for a fortnight. Meanwhile, pass the parched fish fillets in the flour and fry them in a pan with butter and sage leaves. Remove the fillets from the pan and dry them on paper towels. In the pan where you have fried the fish fillets add a little butter and let it brown. Once the rice is drained and put in a serving dish add on top the fillets of perch and sprinkle with melted butter. Serve very hot. Now to the second with the dish that most distinguishes the Lombardy region, the famous cutlet in Milan.

Milanese cutlet

Necessary for Milanese cutlet 4 veal cutlets with bone, cut from the ribs 2 eggs breadcrumbs, butter for frying, salt and lemon (optional) just enough Preparation of cutlet to Milanese The meat suitable for the Milanese cutlet is the cutlet with the bone cut from a part of the milk calf that is called carrè. It must be at least a couple of centimeters thick. Before preparing it, take off the nervetti and the furs and flatten with a meat beater. They are salted and passed in the beaten eggs and then inthe breadcrumbs making it stick evenly on the meat. Cook in a pan with plenty of butter until golden on both sides. Dry them with paper towels and after a sprinkling of salt until served immediately very hot. There are those who like to accompany with a slice of lemon.

Perch in carpon

Necessary for perch in carpon 500 grams of perch fillets 200 grams of carrots 2 medium onions 1 bunch parsley 1 bunch of tarragon 2 bay leaves 10 centilitres of vinegar half a glass of white wine 1 celery salt and pepper just enough olive oil just enough Preparation of perch in carpon Wash and dry the parsicfish fillets and season with salt and pepper. Peel the onions meanwhile and chop finely. Clean the carrots and strip them with celery. In a saucepan with a few tablespoons of olive oil brown the onion, celery and carrots. Add the bay leaf, the bunch of tarragon, half the parsley, white wine and vinegar and bring to a boil, if it is too dry add half a glass of water. Continue cooking until the liquid is reduced in half. Meanwhile, place the parsing fillets on the bottom and drizzle with the mixture in a buttered baking tin. Bake in an already hot oven at 180 degrees for about 8 minutes. Bake and leave to cool. The perch in carpon is left in the refrigerator once cold for at least 24 hours. It is eaten cold sprinkled with fine chopped parsley.

SBRISOLONA of Mantua

250 grams of flour 250 grams of cornflour 200 grams of sugar 200 grams of almonds 3 egg yolks 200 grams of butter the zest of a grated lemon 1 vanilla pod Preparation of the SBRISOLONA of Mantua Chop three-quarters of the almonds in a mixer, pour the butter in to a bowl and knead with the ground almonds. Pour in the flour, cornflour and sugar, mixing the ingredients well. Add the zest of a grated lemon. Finally add the egg yolks and knead the dough with your hands. It should not come a smooth and firm dough but rather coarse. Put the dough in a cake tin, try to crumble it with your hands as much as possible. Put on top of the remaining almonds and sprinkle with a tablespoon of sugar. Bake already warm at 180 degrees for about an hour. This cake is yummy soaked in wine.

Paradise Cake

Needed for paradise cake 150 grams of flour 230 grams of butter at room temperature 230 grams of icing sugar 130 grams of potato starch 8 eggs 1 grated lemon 1 packet of baking powder Preparing the paradise cake Whisk the butter for a long time, combine the sugar and grated lemon zest. Now add the eggs, 4 whole and 4 egg yolks. Beat them slightly first and mix them a little at a time in the melted butter. At this point add the flour, potato starch and baking powder sachet by slowly mixing the ingredients. Bake the cake in an already hot oven at 170 degrees for about 45 minutes. Read the full article

#cakes #cook #English #fishes #italy #kitchen #lombardy #meat #milan #recipes #rice

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donaldscene98-blog · 6 years ago

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Dinner For the Newly Engaged

For those that have been through a wedding, not as a guest, but as a bride or groom, you probably remember how difficult it was to devote more than a handshake/hug and 30-second chit chat. You have anywhere from fifty to five hundred fifty people to say hello to and the clock is ticking. At our reception, we seriously had no longer than 15-20 seconds to greet our friends and family. And we felt horrible. We loved everything about our wedding. From having the private ceremony in Las Vegas to the chill, taco-catered reception in a quaint art gallery in Filipino Town. We wanted to be with our loved ones more than anything and it was simply impossible to hangout with our guests without disrespecting someone else. It's the one thing we regret the most but we decided that could at least make an attempt to hang out with our friends before their lives changed for the better as a married couple. We would simply invite them over for dinner and drill them with our wedding questions like they were in a smoky dungeon equipped with a swinging lamp.

In the last few months, three of our friends got engaged and standing on the other side of the fence, we couldn't help but be stoked for them. They are glowing like glow sticks at a warehouse rave. Since cooking for eight people can get a little crazy, we decided to split up the nights. And I apologize to MK & LY and YS & NS for not remembering to take photos. I was hustling and bustling as fast as I could. But I can assure you, you got the wilder, more inebriated D who wasn't afraid of taking bizarre photos. I've known MK and YS since college and it was comforting knowing they had found the one to move on with.

For them, I decided to go with a family style meal. Recently, Jeni and I have been eating weekly at Forage. Such a simple yet smart concept and Lucque's alumnus Jason Kim's cooking is homey and comforting. We also just got back from Fez, Morocco and were stocked up with some of the most amazing spices the world has to offer – for like nothing. I was dying to use these spices. If you haven't been to the Spice Station in Silver Lake or Santa Monica, it's a cook's paradise and you'll find yourself tossing out those spices that were there before you were even born. Here's what we had.

Moroccan Beef Stew with Daikon & Carrots I got this one spice mix that contained cumin, cinnamon, coriander and all spice. It is amazing and used pre-dominantly in tagine dishes. I learned that cumin is used in Morocco both for flavor enhancement and digestion, so we bought a lot. I slow boiled some chuck roast for 5-6 hours in chicken broth, tons of the Moroccan style spices, a few shots of Maggi sauce (hehe) and a little bit of red wine for color. I used daikon versus potatoes because I like the sweetness daikon gives to a stew/soup. It's the same vegetable used to create that beautiful sweetness in Vietnamese/Chiu Chow noodle broths ("hu tieu"). You have to take out the veggies after 1.5 hours because you don't want them to turn into unrecognizable pulp. Garnish with freshly chopped parsley and serve over rice or cous cous. Everyone liked this but I was pretty annoyed by the beef, as it could've been more tender. I'd use short ribs next time.

Skillet-Killed Smoked Paprika & Rosemary Shrimp This is a guaranteed shrimp recipe that will make you even eat the shells of the shrimp if you were that hungry. In a mixing bowl, I throw in peeled, headless shrimp (or keep the shell on, but cut the shell over the vein so the marinade can seap through), 2-3 cloves of garlic chopped, generous amount of smoked paprika and the sprigs of 2-3 rosemary leaves. Add olive oil and sea salt and mix it up. Refrigerate for no more than 5-6 hours. I call them "skillet-killed" because I crank the heat on my stove, which happens to have much higher BTU's than the average stove. I keep my cast-iron skillet on until it starts smoking, and then keep it going for at least 5 minutes. By now, your dead shrimp are shivering in fear for the unthinkable... a quick sear. The secret is to keep them cooking on one side and to start looking at flesh of the shrimp. If it's translucent it's not done, If it's white on the outside but the center is slightly grey, take it out. Once you take it out, it's still cooking. Like grilled/cooked meat, you have to let the shrimp's "juice" redistribute. Meaning, don't eat it right away you pig. If all is done right, you should have shrimp that has an unbelievable "crunch" to it. Eat the tail too, mmm.

Curried Cauliflower This is about the simplest side dish you can make. It's tasty and healthy. Break up a cauliflower into manageable florets. Too small they become crumbs, too big they won't cook through in the middle. In a foiled, baking sheet, add a lot of olive oil over the cauliflower and a generous amount of curry powder – depending on how curried you want it. Add sea salt, mix and throw in 400 degree oven for about 20 mins. Check for your desired doneness. Mix in some chopped parsley or even dried cranberries and toasted almond slivers.

Pedro Ximenez's Lentils I don't know who Pedro Ximenez is but I do know that he makes a killer sweet sherry vinegar that will set you back a whopping $25. But don't shrivel in cheapness just yet, this stuff is magnificent on salads, fish and probably knife wounds. If you had to invest in two things that would take your cooking to another level, it would be that $35 can of extra virgin olive oil and $25 P.X. sherry vinegar. Again, we ate some great lentils in Morocco and we're all about it right now. I boiled some green lentils and added some pickled red onions and parsley. From here it's about finding the right balance of sea salt and Pedro Ximenez. This was really good. I vote for Pedro.

Saffron, Dried Cranberry & Garbanzo Mint Cous Cous I love cous cous because (A) a stoned college kid could make this and (B) it's light and healthy. Cous cous are basically larger granules of semolina flour and can be cooked in less than 6 minutes. From there, it's up to you to get creative. I added some really nice $35 olive oil, mint, saffron, dried cranberry and garbanzo beans.

Turkish Oregano Quick Pickles I bought some Turkish oregano at the Spice Station and decided to make some quick pickles, aka "quickles". I think Josef Centeno of Lazy Ox Canteen does a great job of pickling, as do the Animal guys. You have to have vinegar to cut through your food and cucumbers, radishes and onions are the best pickling vessels. In a bowl of water, I added some white wine vinegar, sugar, a tiny bit of salt, crushed chili arbol and a few tablespoons of the Turkish oregano. I threw them in the fridge for a good 2 hours and they came out really well. This cut through the richness of the Moroccan stewed beef and lentils.

After we ate, the real damage started to happen as we whipped out more wine and desserts from Porto's. And then the absinthe came out. Then the whiskey. Then the rum. Then the impromptu backyard "dance" party and photo shoot. Please do not post those on Facebook, thank you. Good times.

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For the second night, our friends TP and EY came over. After seven years of dating, they decided it was time. For their wedding coming up, they've been doing the Insanity Workout. Just how insane-in-the-membrane is it? TP told me that he burns about 870 calories in 30 minutes. Hey, did you know that's equivalent to one bread stick at Olive Garden?

So for this dinner, we decided to go light and stick with seafood. We couldn't do two nights in Morocco and went with an Asian theme. With great wine from Jill Bernheimer's Domaine LA, we began the dinner party journey.

Salmon Sashimi & Quail Egg Yam Noodles Salmon sashimi is about 40 calories per piece and high in Omega 3 fatty acids. But the best part of this dish is the usage of yam noodles made from the konjac plant known as shirataki. They are ZERO calories. Don't me ask how that is possible. They are somewhat bland but with a little bit of soy sauce, Japanese soup stock or ponzu, and you're good to go. I served the shirataki with salmon slices, raw quail egg, pickled cucumbers and a few pinches of powdered Sichuan red peppercorn. For the sauce, I simply bought a bottle of udon/soba soup stock and fixed it up with some water and mirin. If you're really into textures, I'd suggest adding salmon fish eggs (ikura), sea urchin (uni) and Japanese mountain yams (yamaimo). This is one of my favorite quick-fix dishes to eat.

Seared Scallop with Yuzu Edamame Puree and TINY Piece of Nueske Bacon

Scallops are about 200 calories per piece and simply one of the best types of seafood out there. It tastes good pan-seared, "cooked" Ceviche style or simply eaten raw. I can't live without scallops. Versus doing a potato or parsnip puree, I decided to use edamame beans which are super tasty. In a blender, I combined one pack of already-shelled edamame, a few dashes of soy sauce, salt and a tiny pinch of sugar. I added a little bit of water to help the blender out. This will take a few minutes to finish as you have to gradually add water to create the puree. If you are impatient and add too much water right away, you can turn this into a watery soup. Taste as you go along and make sure it has a velvety consistency. I like to heat the puree in a small frying pan over low heat to keep it hot. You have to make sure not to burn the puree so you may need a little water to replace whatever evaporates from the heat. Optional: a tiny slice of butter can be used to give the edamame puree a slight sheen. Before placing the seared scallop over the puree, add a few dashes of Yuzu juice. This adds a nice citrus taste that wakes up the scallop and puree. Yes I know, you see a piece of bacon there. Well I didn't say the WHOLE meal was healthy.

Pan-Roasted Black Cod with Bun Shimeji & King Mushroom Dashi

I've made this dish many times for J and my family, it's just a simple comforting dish and its very light. For my picky Chinese parents to ask for seconds, speaks volumes. For details on this dish, click on the previous link. The only thing different about this dish was not having Nathan McCall's usual black cod. So I ended up finding some pretty fresh whole black cod at the new Woori market in Little Tokyo (formerly Yao-han/Mitsuwa). They scaled and quickly filleted the black cod for me. At home, I got to play with my sashimi knife and clean up the fish more as there were still bones and blood lines. FUN FUN FUN. TP & EY ended up with a second round of this and ended up taking whatever I had left home.

Like Friday night, we kept going after the wine. Desserts. Whiskey. Rum. 90s music. It was a great night. To MK & LY, YS & NS and TP & EY, I'm glad we all got to spend 4-5 hours eating and drinking – you guys are great friends. And we look forward to seeing you for 30 seconds on your wedding day! Thanks for reading.

Source: http://eatdrinknbmerry.blogspot.com/2011/01/dinner-for-newly-engaged-black-cod-with.html

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spainwealth89-blog · 6 years ago

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Dinner For the Newly Engaged

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Seared Scallop with Yuzu Edamame Puree and TINY Piece of Nueske Bacon

Pan-Roasted Black Cod with Bun Shimeji & King Mushroom Dashi

Source: http://eatdrinknbmerry.blogspot.com/2011/01/dinner-for-newly-engaged-black-cod-with.html

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zazzyzoo · 6 years ago

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Cookin' with wrestlers! Let me tell you about the most delicious meal I have ever eaten. It was at Chefs de France, a bistro at the French pavilion in EPCOT's World Showcase at Walt Disney World. The meal was braised short ribs with pearl onions served over pasta. Sounds simple, right? It is, but I swear to you, it was more delicious than anything I have ever put in my mouth, before or since. Never has meat been so tender, so melt-in-your-mouth, so perfectly flavored. I was genuinely floored. It planted the seed in my mind... I must braise something myself someday. I didn't even know what braising was, but I knew it was the key to reproducing, at least somewhat, the unbelievable dish Disney gave me.

Switch gears for a second, if you please. Have you ever heard of oxtail? It's exactly what it sounds like -- the tail of an ox. It used to be considered lowbrow meat, something only poor people would mess with, because it's fatty and tough. BUT... if you braise oxtail, it goes from blue-collar throwaway to white-collar delicacy. These thick crowns of beef about the size of an adult man's fist, with a shaft of bone down the center, simply fall apart when pierced with a fork, rivaling the delectable reputation of short ribs. These onetime plebeian rejects are nowadays considered downright snooty!

That's why everyone's favorite high roller, Ric Flair, requested a plate of Wine-Braised Oxtail for his welcome feast. Charlotte insisted he join in the preparation. She showed him how to sear the meat, prepare the braising liquid, and slowly stew the whole enchilada in the oven to bring the oxtail from tough to oh-so tender. Now ol' Ric is a vegetable-choppin', meat-searin', wine-braisin' son of a gun, and he's here to put some WOOOOO in your MOO.

1 & 1/2 lbs oxtail (about 3 meaty tails; the package Charlotte bought had two big tails and a few dinky pieces)

Approx. 1/2 cup flour

1 tsp ground thyme

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

Salt and pepper to taste

1 tbsp vegetable oil

Half an onion, julienned

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 carrots, peeled and cut into a few big pieces

A small bunch of radishes, trimmed of their greens but left whole

2 cups red wine

Have a piece of waxed paper ready. On a plate or in a small bowl, combine the flour, thyme, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Then dredge each oxtail in the mixture, coating all sides. You don't want a thick coating, just whatever sticks to it. Shake off excess flour and set each coated oxtail on the waxed paper.

Heat up a Dutch oven (or other oven-safe pot with lid) over medium-high. Add the vegetable oil and give it another minute to heat through. Then use tongs to set each oxtail in the pot. You want to sear it (i.e., brown it) on all sides. This won't cook it all the way through, but it renders some of the fat and generates a "fond" (layer of dark brown bits) on the bottom of the pot, which will help flavor the braising liquid later. Searing takes only a couple minutes per side, max.

Once the searing is done, remove the oxtails to a plate and set aside. Reduce heat to medium and add the onions to the pot. Let them soften and begin to caramelize in the oxtail fat. Use a wooden spoon to stir them around and scrape up the fond.

After a few minutes, add the garlic and cook for another minute. Then add the wine. Bring it to a gentle boil and let it go for about 5 minutes. The liquid will reduce slightly.

Now return the oxtails to the pot. They should be visible above the braising liquid, not fully submerged. Add the carrots and radishes.

Put the lid on the pot, leaving it slightly ajar for ventilation, and place it in the oven at 325°F. Cook for 3 hours. A few times over the course of that time span, turn the meat over and jostle the veggies around. The liquid shouldn't deplete very much, but if it does, add a little water. Ric and Charlotte didn't have to, but y'know, oven vary and everything.

After it's done in the oven, put the pot on the stovetop over medium-low heat. Remove the oxtails to a plate and set aside. Here's what they look like after 3 hours of braising:

Let the juices and vegetables sit for a couple minutes so the fat can rise to the top, then skim the fat off with a large spoon.

Serve the oxtails over pasta, rice, or mashed potatoes. One oxtail per person, plus a couple generous spoonfuls of the veggie-laden juices, is good for portioning. Sprinkle with parsley for snazzy presentation.

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MEAT. It happens to be RIDICULOUSLY DELICIOUS. You can taste the wine, even after all that cooking time. The carrots and radishes are honestly just as good as the fall-apart-tender oxtails. You'll feel like a gourmet chef for accomplishing this rich, indulgent dish. Please give it a go!

#recipe #ric flair #charlotte flair #wwe #nxt #kirsten larson #american girl #american girl dolls #braising #beef #slow cooker

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factpatrol-blog · 8 years ago

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Spain’s best restaurants – in the middle of nowhere | Travel

GRILL GODS

Man on fire: Asador Etxebarri, Axpe, Basque country

“In the flames of the fire lives something that can help ingredients reach their fullest potential.” These are the words of Bittor Arguinzoniz, high priest of the low flame who abandoned his job as a forester years ago to create one of the world’s most astounding grill shrines. Everything – from the homemade goat butter to the caviar-size spring peas to the grass-fed Galician beef to the apple tart – gets hit with smoke from wood the chef chops right outside the back door. But this isn’t the hard smoke of a pit master; this is the delicate finesse of an artist in full control of every bite that passes into the dining room. Ask 10 of the best chefs from around the world where they’d eat their last meal on earth, and probably half would tell you here, at the high-mountain altar of Etxebarri. • Plaza de San Juan, 1, 48291 Atxondo, Bizkaia, +34 946 58 30 42, asadoretxebarri.com

Raising the steaks: Bodega El Capricho, Jiménez de Jamuz, León

José Gordón of Bodega El Capricho Eating at Bodega El Capricho will be the most intense meat experience of your life. José Gordón is like a man possessed in the pursuit of the perfect steak, a journey that starts by raising his own bueyes (oxen) on a special diet of grain and grass, then drying ageing primal cuts of meat based on the age and breed of the animal. A meal at El Capricho starts with ruby veils of raw, aged ox loin, then moves on to cecina (dried beef cured and aged like jamón), ox blood morcilla (blood sausage), and an outrageously good tartare. But all of that is a prelude to the main event: chuletón de buey, rib steaks with nothing on them but coarse salt, cooked over oak until charred on the outside and barely warm throughout. The meat packs deep concentrations of umami and mineral intensity and a rim of dense, yellow fat that tastes like brown sugar. Warning: It will be hard to go back to regular beef after El Capricho. • Paraje de la Vega, s/n, 24767 Jiménez de Jamuz, León, +34 987 66 42 24, bodegaelcapricho.com

The turbot kings: Elkano, Getaria, Basque country

Above the Atlantic in a small coastal village between Bilbao and San Sebastián, Elkano is best known as an asador de pescado: a family-run restaurant with a particular focus on grilled fish and seafood. The main attraction is rodaballo, wild turbot cooked whole over charcoal, a technique perfected by Elkano’s founder Pedro Arregui in the 1950s and continued today by his son Aitor and chef de cuisine Pablo Vicari. After a heavy shower of coarse salt and a 12-minute ride on the grill, the turbot is served whole at the table, then divided into its various constituents: dark, fatty back sections; light, meaty fillets – and ribs that leak juice down your forearms. The end product eats like an essay on the astounding potential of the sea, a range of tastes and textures you didn’t think possible in a single fish. • Herrerieta, 2, 20808 Getaria, +34 943 14 00 24, restauranteelkano.com

Fish tales: Güeyu Mar, Playa de Vega, Asturias

On a quiet stretch of Asturian coastline, between the Cantabrian Sea and the Camino de Santiago, at first blush Güeyu Mar looks like a chiringuito – a mellow seafood shack. However, inside nothing about husband and wife Abel and Luisa’s work is the least bit laid-back: not the remarkable wine list, nor the specialised hand-cranked grills or the constantly rotating, individually sourced menu of fish and seafood. Depending on the day, your meal may begin with tiny, candy-sweet quisquilla (shrimp) and grilled oysters with caviar and conclude with any of half a dozen whole grilled fish: from the pull-apart flakes of grouper to big-bellied king fish rippled with fat and gelatin. Afterward, waddle down to the nearest stretch of sand for a siesta. • Playa de Vega, 84, 33560 Ribadesella, Asturias, +34 985 86 08 63, gueyumar.es

AMAZING PLACES IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

Stone mountain stew: Casa Juanín, Asturias

Juanín pours another measure at his eponymous restaurant. The Picos de Europa, home to dramatic mountain terrain, are a setting for hearty people and hearty food. No restaurant proves that better than Casa Juanín, in the tiny village of Pendones. You’ll find Juanín out front pouring drinks and telling stories to a pack of locals while his daughter Isabel works magic behind the burners. Here, €15 will get you a feast fit for an Asturian coal miner: braised goat, venison picadillo (hash), bottomless bowls of wild boar fabada (stew), and a flan and a rice pudding that may make knees buckle. The only thing to worry about is how to get back down the mountain. • Lugar Pendones, 4, 33997 Pendones, Asturias, +34 985 61 37 25, on Facebook

Clandestine cocktails: Soda 917, Villaviciosa, Asturias

Just beyond the apple orchards of Villaviciosa, down a winding country road, is an unassuming tobacco shop. Make your way past the packs of Camels and rolling papers and into Soda 917, a low-lit bar lined with leather couches where one of Spain’s legendary bartenders plies his trade. Kike once ran Negroni, one of Barcelona’s top cocktail outfits, before retiring to this clandestine countryside spot. But the slower lifestyle hasn’t dulled his ambition: He stocks more than 100 gins and an arsenal of artisanal vermouth and bitter liqueurs. Whether the crew of old bar flies perched on the stools know they’re in the presence of greatness matters not; they’re here for the beer and cigarettes, anyways. • AS-256, 30, 33315 Villaviciosa, Asturias, +34 661 36 10 67, no website

Dream eggs and ham: Venta el Toro, near Cádiz, Andalucía

Photograph: Michael Magers Photography Venta el Toro, in the shadow of the whitewashed hilltop village of Vejer de la Frontera outside Cádiz, doesn’t serve much: sliced meat and cheese, a daily vegetable dish and, above all, fried eggs served over fried potatoes. Not just any eggs and potatoes, though: Both are cooked slowly in an abundance of olive oil until soft and outlandishly savoury. The sunset yolk becomes the sauce, while the jamón, if opted for (you should), lifts the creation to dizzying heights. It could take an hour for your order to come, but you’ll be kept company by beer- and sherry-drinking locals who know how good they have it in these parts.• Santa Lucía, 11158 Vejer de la Frontera, Cádiz, +34 956 45 14 07

Wood-fired fantasy: Mannix, Valladolid

Two hours north of Madrid is a sterling example of Spain’s obsession with oven-roasted meat. At Mannix, it’s possible to eat almost anything, from tiny, juicy sweetbreads to inch-thick steaks, but you’re really here for one thing: cordero lechal (baby milk-fed lamb) slow-roasted in a traditional wood-burning oven until the point of collapse, then given a final blast of intense heat. As the skin shatters like a fallen wine glass, and the meat below pulls apart in tender, juicy ropes, all you can do is laugh at the genius of the Spaniards, and at your good fortune for eating among them. • Calle Felipe II, 26, 47310 Campaspero, Valladolid, +34 983 69 80 18, restaurantemannix.com

Farmhouse feast: Els Casals, Sagàs, Catalonia

The rural reaches of northern Catalonia host some of Spain’s most powerful country cooking; none more so than Els Casals, where, from your bedroom in the refurbished farmhouse, it’s possible to see farm animals through the window and smell amazing things through the floorboards. What waits below is a dinner as honest as it is astonishing: oven-roasted local game, rice studded with truffles and young pigeon and, best of all, thick rounds of smoky sobrassada (raw, cured sausage) made from their own pigs, covered in honey and roasted until bubbling. The best part about staying the night? You get to wake up and do it all over again for breakfast. • Lugar Casals, s/n, 08517 Sagàs, +34 938 25 12 00, elscasals.cat Matt Goulding is author of Grape, Olive, Pig: Deep Travels Through Spain’s Food Culture (Hardie Grant, £16.99). To order a copy for £14.44, including UK p&p, visit the guardian bookshop Source link Click to Post

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