#amy gall

[gatheringbones]

[“As history has shown, and as I was at the time experiencing, a strap-on can be sexy, but it can also be a failure and a threat. It draws attention to how contradictory and fragile our definitions of male and female are, and how tightly we cling to them, even in relationships between women, where gender and sexuality are more flexible.

I think it’s important to look at how this played out, not just in the history of straight men policing lesbians but in the lesbian community policing itself. In the 1940s and 50s a bar scene began to develop in cities across the country, marking the first time when lesbians, particularly working-class ones, gathered publicly and in large numbers. During this time a butch/femme culture developed that included strict codes of dress and behavior both in and outside the bedroom. Butch women slicked back their hair, wore suits and jeans, and were, generally, the “givers” of sexual pleasure. Femme women wore dresses and makeup and were the “receivers” of sexual pleasure. In some ways, this culture was liberating, as it represented a powerful, cohesive group aesthetic and safety in numbers. Especially for women who actually identified as butch, it was also a chance to finally adopt masculine dress without being seen as failed or dangerous but rather as sexy and loveable. For others this culture was a trap, pushing women into restrictive sex and gender roles in the same ways heterosexuality had. It is by no means the only lesbian aesthetic, but I think part of the reason it has stuck around for so long in the popular imagination as the way lesbians are is because it allows straight people to again see themselves as the center of the sexual world.

In either case, strap-ons were not widely used, or at least not talked about. In Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold, a book that documents the lives of Black and white lesbians in Buffalo, there is a pretty exhaustive set of interviews about sex acts and terminology, but no one mentions owning, liking, or even trying sex with a strap-on. Indeed, the one mention of a dildo is one of bewilderment as Vic, a self-identified butch, talks about her friend pulling her into the bathroom to show her the new strap-on she got. “Jesus, she whipped this thing out . . . I’m supposed to be butch and my face felt like a neon sign. I could feel the embarrassment. How do you admire a dildo? No seriously, what do you say?”

Butches in the book took great pride “in their own hands and their ability to please,” which “did not dispose them to think that a dildo would improve their lovemaking.” It’s interesting that they considered the dildo less potent and successful than hands. This could be read as displacing the power of the dick, but, coupled with the silence surrounding strap-on use, it also points to a greater fear about the lesbian body. How regulated and small it had to be to exist. How easily it could be diminished by something outside itself, or destroyed altogether.

In the lesbian radical feminist movement of the 1960s and 70s, there was also a great deal of attention focused on creating distance from dicks. Jill Johnston argued in A Lesbian Nation that the only true road to female liberation was the conscious “withdrawal at every level from the man to develop woman supremacy.” This meant that not only butch/femme dynamics but also penetrative sex were out. Anne Koedt developed the theory that the vaginal orgasm was a myth perpetrated by Freud in order to center male sexual desire for penetration, though her evidence for this was a study done by Kinsey—a man—that found the vagina was not particularly sensitive to touch. True orgasms, Koedt argued, only came from the clitoris—even though she interestingly also called the clit “the female equivalent of the penis”—so if women wanted to have enjoyable sex there was no need for penetration, only clitoral stimulation. Andrea Dworkin went so far as to call the penis “a hidden symbol of terror” and argued that “violence is male, the male is the penis.”

Dorothy Allison writes about the effects this had on herself and other lesbians at the time. “No one admitted to using dildos, wanting to be tied up, wanting to be penetrated, or talking dirty—all that male stuff . . . my lover wanted us to perform tribadism, stare into each other’s eyes, and orgasm simultaneously. Egalitarian, female, feminist, revolutionary.” In attempting to free themselves from the penis, in many ways radical lesbians ended up reinscribing the power of the dick and sacrificing the range of sexual pleasure they could experience in the process.

In a counter to this, the lesbian sexual outlaws of the 1970s, 80s, and 90s argued that dildos were actually great, not problematic, but primarily because they didn’t reference the penis at all. Some even argued that wearing a dildo turns a woman into a cyborg, not woman, man, or even human, just a body involved in the mechanistic movements of giving and receiving pleasure. While there is something freeing about this argument, as it gets us out from under the idea that we can’t talk about strap-ons and that a woman wearing a strap-on is only trying to make up for a never-ending lack, it still bypasses the sticky, complicated reality of the gendered/human world we live in and the simple fact that sometimes lesbians want strap-ons to look like penises.

All of this begs the question: can a dyke wear a dick and just have some damn fun?”]

amy gall, from my dick, your dick, our dick, from wanting: women writing about desire, 2023

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

Les Amis as Chappell Roan songs (because I cannot be stopped ✨️✨️✨️)

Enjolras- Femininomenon

Bahorel- After Midnight

Combeferre- Coffee

Courfeyrac- Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

Joly- HOT TO GO!

Jean Prouvaire- My Kink is Karma

Bossuet- Pink Pony Club

Marius Pontmercy (and also me from real life)- Naked in Manhatten

Grantaire- Good Luck, Babe!

Bonus ExR songs- Guilty Pleasure, Red Wine Supernova

Bonus Courfius song: Casual

[whippedcloudsofcream]

Dick saved Amy’s life and in return, she fucking fired him and made him homeless. ACAB 😭😭

[iralibis]

[FAN ART]

>> Amy X Sena

I did a bunch of these for 2 so I had to do another one for 3!

• • •

Clip Studio Paint | Wacom Intuos Draw

Reposting, editing, tracing, and recolouring are not allowed.

Instagram | Picarto | Twitch

[greenyvertekins]

"As Maekawa disliked Sonic as a character, he used Adventure 2 as an opportunity to revise him to suit his tastes"

And yet he still nailed Sonic and still made him consistent with previous summarizations of his personality and quirks. Especially in the Storybook games. There's no excuse for anyone else involved in writing for this franchise to use personal views on characters or "What they should be." in their view to morph them into something they're not. I'm looking at you Flynn and your complete fuck-up's with Sonic and Shadow and the sheer gall you have to fuck around with character dynamics out of your own stupid ideas i.e Wanting to morph Amy because of her dynamic with Sonic.

[darkmatters-ghost]

Shadamy week - Day 2: Sick Day

This one is really short. I'm probably going to make it longer at some point, but I'm good with its length for now. I also don't enjoy working things that I feel like everyone else has written well already, so I played with the trope. Enjoy!

The first day was the scariest. He might've been more scared than she was. She was still sleepy from it all in the passenger seat, while he was desperately trying not to break the steering wheel from how hard he clenched it.

Once they were home he gently picked her up-again, trying not to hold her tighter than he needed to-and brought her into their house.

"It's... funny..." she muttered. "I think... I think you're more scared of this whole... surgery thing than I am."

"That's... not innacurate," he admitted. He was more then scared. He was petrified. After all those years of watching test after test after test for Maria, and none of them ever seemed to help. Sometimes they tested normal. How did that make any sense!? If she's in pain then clearly something wasn't normal!

"Silly Shadow," Amy muttered, bringing him back to reality. "I'm absolutely...ly fine."

"You don't sound it," he said with a small smile. "Not when you talk like that." He didn't waste any more time, he set her on the couch. "How do you feel?"

She hesitated. "Sleepy... tired... less nausous. Half my stomach hurts."

"That is the part they worked on." She nodded. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"...Yeah, but I don't want you to move me again."

"Okay."

"But I want you to stay here."

"With you?"

"Mmm. Sleep here. With... me."

He glanced at the cough next to her. "Doesn't seem too comfortable."

"I don't care. If you donnn't be here, with me. You'll go inta your room and, and, and..."

"'And' what?"

"Shut up, I'm finding the word." She was quiet for a moment. "Catastrophize."

"... You know me well." She grinned.

"It's my girlish intuition."

It was the best sleep he had the entire week.

Yeah, teeny tiny. But there you go. It's based on the gall bladder removal surgery I got a while back.

[mcheang]

The return of Amy Squirrel

“When the superintendent personally asks you to work at one of the worst schools…you say yes.”

Not only is Amy a more suspicious teacher than Ms Bustier, but she will be taking over Ms Bustier’s class while the latter is on maternity leave.

Now Amy may treat everyone like they are in kindergarten, but she has a history. She was forcibly transferred after her rival framed her for being on drugs. Said rival Elizabeth was now a guidance counselor but it galled Amy to be sent to Paris, aka the emotionally troubled city, to teach the akuma class, under false charges. In hindsight, she really should have returned Elizabeth’s desk after stealing it to check for drugs.

The unfairness and humiliation made Amy reflect on the situation and she vowed to be smarter, more prepared to see through such tricks.

Naturally, when it comes to Chloe’s bullying, Amy puts Chloe in a time out. When Chloe calls her father angrily, but Amy scolds her for talking to her father as if he is her servant. And Chloe is making her family look bad. Audrey happens to be near Andre when Amy says this and hearing this, agrees Claudine should be disciplined and gives Amy free reign. Until she is respectable, she isn’t a Bourgeois. Chloe is akumatized except Amy has a solution for this. While the butterfly is happily accepted by Chloe, Amy punches her, knocking her unconscious while Alya posts on her blog about the akuma so Ladybug has an excuse to come purify the butterfly.

Chloe: You punched me!

Amy: Your mother authorised me to use any means to make sure you don’t keep embarrassing her. Frankly, you losing again to Ladybug would be humiliating since it just enforces to your mother that you are a loser.

Chloe is stunned to see she has lost influential power. Aka she can be sent to detention and her parents won’t help her.

Now, Marinette is holding a car wash for a future field trip. Seeing Marinette’s clumsy and efficient record (she was practically doing half of Caline’s work for the pregnant lady), Amy did not mind. She minded however when Lila, who did not show up at the car wash at all, said she felt bad about not being able to help and volunteered to help with the money arrangements.

Marinette and Caline: Absolutely not

The class was stunned. Marinette was not expecting someone to be on her side.

Caline: I know your reputation for being charitable Lila, unfortunately it is that reputation that leads me to mistrust you with this. Mylene told me how you had donated the money she organised to your fundraiser for the poor instead of her preferred save the earth charity. While the cause is still noble, the donators wanted the money to go to the earth. I cannot risk you donating our fundraiser trip money to another one of your noble causes. If you are that worried about their causes, you can ask your class to help with another fundraiser, except Marinette and Alya, they need to help me plan the field trip.

Lila gritted her teeth. This immature teacher was a hindrance!

Amy had done her research on Lila too. A disturbing number of ailments and disorders, long leaves of absences with parent approval, and she was not unaware how the class catered to Lila by helping her copy notes, buy her lunch, carry her backpack, etc. All in all, Amy would not want to look before she leapt and think Lila a liar but she finds her suspicious. When she confides to Damocles, he mentions Lila’s lying disorder.

Amy: THAT’S BONKERS! And if she is telling the truth, how can you know when she lies, we need a proper authority figure to guide us on how to help accommodate Lila’s needs. We cannot trust the poor girl whose ability to distinguish fact from fiction is so hampered.

Damocles: I have tried reaching out to her mother, but she’s so busy, I’m afraid emails are allowed. Rest assured they are detailed.

Having dealt with Elizabeth, Amy was not discounting the possibility that the email was a fake.

Amy: May I see Mrs Rossi’s occupation? What job is more important than being here for her daughter.

Principal passed her a paper. “She’s the ambassador of Italy.“

Amy: And what does it mean for Italy if she cannot even be there for her child?

Principal had no idea how to respond to that.

Amy personally went to the embassy to talk to Mrs Rossi and boy was there some clarifications to be made.

If Amy was immature, Diplomat Rossi was oblivious/ignorant. The diplomat readily agreed to come with Amy and see the principal.

The next morning, Lila was called to the principal’s office where she was roundly scolded for lying and framing Marinette.

Damocles: Lila Rossi, you are hereby expelled.

Lila promptly runs away, to become Cerise. She has 2 more mothers to financially rely on.

Mrs Rossi speaks to the class and tells them the truth about Lila. She apologises to Marinette. She also asks that if Lila should contact them, to call her.

Only, Lila isn’t answering any of their calls.

Marinette is so thrilled with Amy handling her bullies. She is so much more efficient than Ms Bustier!

Her efforts were enough to get her promoted from substitute to main teacher.

[manyfandomocs]

OC Introductions

So, my Harry Potter fic The Other Side now has a spinoff thanks to @randomestfandoms-ocs enabling and then also helping so here is From Now On, which is a Beauxbatons focused fic! (Tagging @cecexwrites and @daughter-of-melpomene because Harry Potter)

Mathieu Cayard (Dylan Sprayberry FC), Seamus Finnigan ship. Featured in The Other Side, Mathieu is in the Lead house at Beauxbatons and is a half blood who joined when they went to visit Hogwarts which is where he meets Seamus. He is a gifted dueler

Emilie Cayard (Clara Galle FC), TBD ship. Mathieu’s older sister and twin to Lisette. She is in the Mercury house and used to date Fabian. She visits Hogwarts for the Tournament as Fleur is her best friend and her ship may be from Hogwarts I just haven’t decided that yet. She is usually regarded as the “meanest” of her siblings but really she just stands up for them and herself, absolutely adores Alchemy and is fantastic at Potions

Lisette Cayard (Amy Forsyth FC), TBD ship. Mathieu’s older sister and twin to Emilie. She is technically the oldest Cayard and is in the Mercury house. She leans strongly towards the muggle classes and does not go to Hogwarts during Goblet of Fire

Fabian Darche (Benjamin Wadsworth FC), Nikita Carrero ship. Fabian is in the Tin house and plays Quidditch, he is honestly not the nicest person but he’s overcompensating a lot for his pureblood family’s reputation. He does go to Hogwarts during Goblet of Fire as he was entering his name for the tournament

Karline Eckardt (Lulu Antariksa FC) TBD ship. Karline is in the Lead house and is Beauxbatons’ resident bad girl who used to date Ximena. She is a talented witch but does not learn very well in school settings, she also plays Quidditch and is from a high ranking halfblood wizarding family in Germany (her father was muggleborn) She is 50/50 on if she goes to Hogwarts I haven’t decided

Dominic Shellard (Kit Connor FC), Jean-Claude Barrault ship. A half blood former Hogwarts Gryffindor student, Dominic only recently transferred to Beauxbatons due to his parents believing it to be safer. He is in the Tin house and is very good at Care of Magical Creatures and art

Jean-Claude Barrault (Joe Locke FC), Dominic Shellard ship. Born to a legacy of Beauxbatons students, he is in the Tin house. Sort of a golden boy of school, he is friends with many students and somehow has gotten the favor of Karline, he is a pureblood and very talented with languages. He was going to go visit Hogwarts but because of Dominic, he doesn’t.

Nikita Carrero (Mirela Balic FC), Fabian Darche ship. Born in Spain, Nikita is half Veela and in the Mercury house. She is one of the more popular students, often getting lots of attention with her Veela status and willingness to use it. She is nice deep down, but she hides it and focuses on her talent in charms. She does go to Hogwarts to see the Tournament

Yvette Bédard (Valentina Zenere FC), Viktor Krum ship. A quarter Veela, she is the Delacour girls’ cousin and adores them immensely. She is in the Lead house and has a habit of playing into the stereotypes and assumptions about her just to fuck with people when in actuality she is incredible at Transfiguration and an amazing photographer. She goes to Hogwarts where she meets Viktor

Simone Lachaud (Chandler Kinney FC), Joaquin Aguilar and Charlie Weasley ship. A former homeschooled witch, she is in the Tin house. Largely clueless to muggle things at first as she was raised by her wizard father and his family but she ends up having a talent for riding horses, and animals in general, and goes to Hogwarts to try to compete.

Joaquin Aguilar (Sergio Mayer Mori FC), Simone Lachaud and Charlie Weasley ship. One of Beauxbatons' top Quidditch players, he is in the Lead house. His main struggle in school has been learning about and meeting his half sister, but besides Quidditch he is really good with music. He has had a crush on Simone on and off for years but doesn't really act on it until they go to Hogwarts for the Tournament

Ximena Aguilar (Lizeth Selene FC), TBD ship. A Mercury house student dealing with both learning and meeting her half brother and a not so recent breakup with Karline, she decides she doesn't have it in her to go to Hogwarts and stays to focus on her dueling.

[wildflowerteas]

part 2 of the live reactions. hello. what the fuck. someone get me a padded room

KOUYOUUU!!!! I had so much fun showing the very start of Kouyou and Yosano's friendship and eventual relationship with that super short scene at the Double Black. just a reminder that skk and sskk aren't the center of the universe, no matter the story. the lives of the characters that don't get screen time or physical evidence are just as complex and affected by the happenings. for better or for worse.

shirayuki-chan is Kyouka! that's not a huge spoiler, and she'll be making an appearance quite soon, so I'll just let you guys in on what I have planned anyway. 1962 was the last year it snowed in L.A. ( though it was only a trace ), and I'll be going into it in more detail later, but it's the year Yosano found Kyouka abandoned by her parents ( and it would make her 18 in 1978 ).

"Side pairing" means NOTHING to me you're so right. PINK IN THE NIGHT 😭😭😭

I won't say anything so that I can't perjure myself. But Margaret is the only lawyer mentioned so far, and there's only one client of hers with the gall to go up against the Mori Marine transport corporation ( I wonder why? )

Something I shamelessly do when Atsushi is having conversations with people from the 50s timeline is I make him seem more knowing/in-tune with them ( to the point that I exclude the reader sometimes ) because he's got Dazaism to guide him lol

can't sneak any flower symbolism past you guys i need to start getting creative

from beloved nyxi's comment ^ i knew the kousano scene and a lot of the lines from it would get screenshotted ( i shamelessly wrote it with you guys in mind ). glad to see they hit their mark.

every time dazai arrives to a scene i quickly become homophobic. i do not like that man.

all i'm going to say about Sigma is that they've been shot in front of atsushi in canon, and I've had the desire to recreate that scene in TSP since the moment I wrote their meeting at Tycheron.

THE DEAD/ALIVE CHARACTERS THING IS SOOOO NEAT OMG. fanfic meta . . . also funny that you should bring up Amy Winehouse . . . "we only said goodbye with words" . . ..

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK? noticing the shift from Dazai's initial thoughts about goldman to this speculation that he may have tried to save her??? YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY.

as always i am blown away by the details noticed. and just so so grateful. also so glad that tsp sunday Mondays are back. as stressful as they can be, by Wednesday I'm missing writing and plotting and planning and thinking about soukoku and hazy Los Angeles.

i think 'what the fuck' is an apt reaction to this chapter as a whole. i was definitely whispering it to myself the entire time i was writing.

[sloubs]

tw/ blood, death

Arrêtez de dire que Perceval va mourir dans Kaamelott, je refuse d'imaginer une scène finale où Perceval serait allongé au sol, blanc comme un linge, sa barbe et ses cheveux couverts de sang séché, tétanisé par la peur de mourir sans jamais avoir rendu son roi fier

Pourtant il viendrait de lui sauver la vie à son roi, il aurait pris son courage à deux mains et aurait sauté sans réfléchir sur l'ennemi pour le protéger, armé d'une épée ou de n'importe quel autre moyen pour asséner des coups et garder Arthur en sécurité. Il n'a jamais tué personne mais aurait tout fait pour vaincre son adversaire, parce qu'aucune vie ne vaut plus que celle de son roi, pas même la sienne. Un coup de lame mal esquivé lui aurait malgré tout scié la gorge, et il tomberait de sa hauteur sur la terre froide et humide. Il resterait prostré là, incapable de bouger, témoin malgré lui du flot incessant de sang qui s'écoulerait de sa blessure. Jamais il n'aurait vu autant de sang autour de lui, pas même quand son vieux père tuait le cochon à la ferme de son enfance, au Pays de Galles. Lentement, il commencerait à sentir ses jambes s'engourdir, jusqu'à ne plus les sentir du tout. Ses yeux bleus perçants regarderaient tout autour de lui d'un air paniqué, cherchant du regard un visage familier capable de le rassurer. Un long sifflement retentirait dans ses oreilles, sa vision se brouillerait progressivement, puis des voix étouffées lui feraient reprendre brièvement ses esprits. La main d'Arthur viendrait lourdement se poser sur son torse alors que lui même ne sentirait déjà plus ses doigts, et il tournerait la tête dans la douleur, pour regarder une dernière fois le visage de celui qu'il a toujours admiré.

"PERCEVAL ! PERCEVAL, REGARDEZ-MOI ! MAIS QU'EST-CE QUI VOUS A PRIS, ESPÈCE DE CINGLÉ ?!"

Arthur utiliserait la paume de sa main comme une compresse pour stopper l'hémorragie, sa peau caleuse plaquée contre les pulsations de son cou, d'où coulerait le sang encore tiède de son chevalier. Ce serait alors au tour d'Arthur de paniquer, en voyant Perceval perdre peu à peu l'étincelle innocente qui caractérise son regard, en voyant son visage devenir de plus en plus pâle. Lui qui a toujours réponse à tout, soudain ne répondrait plus de rien. Sa respiration se ferait haletante, la peur et le désarroi lui faisant perdre tous ses moyens.

"J'ai voulu- je voulais vous sauver, Sire..." chuchoterait difficilement Perceval. "...pour pas que vous soyez déçu de moi."

Arthur lâcherait alors un grognement inattendu, une douloureuse expiration mélangeant épuisement et sanglots retenus. Il se mordrait les lèvres comme pour s'empêcher de hurler.

"Vous m'avez jamais déçu, arrêtez vos conneries-" lui confierait-il d'une voix douce, enrouée par ses propres larmes. "Qu'est-ce qu'on s'était dit, Perceval ? Vous vous souvenez...?"

La gorge d'Arthur se serrerait, tandis que les doigts de Perceval chercheraient à s'accrocher à lui. Ses yeux cristallins s'écarquilleraient encore un peu plus et une mine apaisée viendrait soudainement effacer l'effroi sur son visage. Jusqu'à son dernier souffle Arthur aurait été à ses côtés. Il lui adresserait un sourire sans prononcer le moindre mot, repensant à toutes ces fois où son roi lui aurait accordé son temps et sa confiance, toutes les conversations qu'ils auraient partagé, toutes les phrases rassurantes qu'il lui aurait adressé.

"Écoutez-moi, on s'était mis d'accord, si j'étais en danger, vous deviez vous barrer ! Votre vie vaut pas moins que la mienne, Perceval !"

Chevauchant le corps quasi inerte de Perceval, Arthur comprendrait alors qu'il serait en train de le perdre. La mâchoire serrée, il lancerait un bref regard à sa main devenue entièrement rouge, presque brune tant le sang qu'il tenterait désespérément de retenir serait épais et abondant. Ses doigts crispés contre la jugulaire de son ami, il ne se retiendrait même plus de pleurer. Ses larmes viendraient s'écraser contre le métal froid de l'armure de Perceval, le suppliant de rester éveillé, de rester avec lui. Et tandis que l'adrénaline se propagerait dans chaque recoin de son corps, que son cœur serait sur le point de sortir de sa poitrine, les mains d'Arthur se mettraient soudainement à trembler. Sous sa paume, il ne sentirait presque plus de pouls.

"Ma vie, Sire-" murmurerait alors Perceval dans un dernier souffle, " ...Ma vie ne vaut rien si vous n'y êtes plus."

enfin bref voilà quoi vraiment j'ai pas du tout envie d'imaginer ça quoi

[greenbergsays]

What were some of your favorite quotes from Red White and Royal Blue the book???

Too many to name, honestly!

I didn't mention this before, but I love the entire Red Room scene, from Alex being entirely unsubtle getting Amy to help him get Henry alone to Amy being like "you're not gonna kill him are you?" and Alex being like "probably not"

And then once they're alone he's like "shut all the way up" before he basically attacks Henry. One of the cutest running themes in the book is Alex being so infuriated by how attracted he is to Henry sometimes, he's so annoyed with himself

And poor Henry when they're interrupted being like "I'm going to die." babe's wildest fantasies are finally coming true and they have to WAIT? how dare.

But honestly, the first act itself is a masterpiece of little moments, their texting back and forth is adorable and I absolutely LOVE when Alex is still oblivious to his bisexuality and he has the gall to text Henry, like, "your dad was a total babe" and Henry's like PLS DON'T

I also love after The Bisexual Revelation, there's periodic moments where Alex is like "I thought I was straight???? HOW?"

Their emails are also rife with great moments.

I've never been one to tab or highlight a book, but I wouldn't mind buying an extra copy of this one and doing just that because there are just so many excellent moments that it's hard to remember them all.

[gatheringbones]

[“There is this idea that turning points are clean and complete, but while my body seemed to want more of these experiences with Jane, my mind remained wary and confused. It was like a tug of war: one minute, I would buck against the dildo Jane held in her hand and the next I would push it out of me. I’d hover above Jane, careful to keep from resting even an ounce of my weight on her and then I’d suddenly plop down on her lap and grind down on her like a pestle. I’d thrill as Jane’s eyes roamed across my body and then I’d hear myself say, “Stop looking at me.”

For so long, I had dismissed the parts of me that wanted to be an object of desire, telling myself that my worth lay in the pleasure I gave to other women. And while I had squirmed against the butch label, that was perhaps because I also saw how I much I hid behind the swaggery, masculine aspects of it to keep myself safe from rejection. When I was suddenly faced with a person who actually wanted the soft, vulnerable—dare I say feminine—parts of me, who made me feel fuckable, it took time for the old stories to sieve their way out of me. And they never did completely. But as we kept having sex I began to feel relief instead of fear in giving up control. I began to appreciate the space it afforded me to start paying attention to what made my body feel good and not just my partner’s. I also began to see how femininity and objectification held their own power. There is something so emboldening about holding a lover’s gaze, about allowing them inside the deepest parts of you. And even when you are “the bottom” there is a constant dance of consent and choice being navigated between you and your partner. Understanding this made me a better lover when I was topping too.

It is not as if being fucked with one big dick a few times made me comfortable with the fluidity of my gender and of my sexual desires, but as Jane and I continued to stretch each other’s boundaries inside of a monogamous, trusting relationship, and my adult friends embraced the sex we were having, I started to experiment with my body in other ways. I asked Jane to show me how to apply my own lipstick and eyeliner. I started wearing dresses and heels, first to fancy occasions and then, sometimes, just because. I stopped pretending I always knew what people were talking about and discovered the joy of learning what was on the other side of an admission of not knowing. Jane changed too. She bought ripped jeans and T-shirts. She cut her hair short. She became more assertive and direct, eventually coming out to her parents. Once Jane and I realized we could actually inhabit the things we were attracted to in the other person, that it wouldn’t compromise what was already there, we also became kinder to each other because we stopped needing the other person to be a certain way in order to feel complete.

After two years, Jane and I broke up. It was painful, not devastating. We hadn’t hidden or twisted our desires with each other, so when we couldn’t meet them, it didn’t feel like a rejection of who I was but rather an indication that we had simply changed as much as we could together, and whatever else we were changing into, we had to change with other people, and perhaps, more importantly, on our own.”]

amy gall, from my dick, your dick, our dick, from wanting: women writing about desire, 2023

[randomfoggytiger]

I can't believe En Ami had the gall to create a Marjory "I Can't Believe It's Not--" Butters character.

Honestly.

(Will I fact check when the margarine marketing campaign reigned supreme? Nope.)

[mmepastel]

Très beau premier roman, et très prometteur.

L’intrigue vous est présentée ci-dessus, elle paraît maigre, mais ce qui compte, c’est l’écriture, et le sous texte qui affleure grâce au talent de l’écrivaine.

Grâce à des petits chapitres courts, la narration procède par touches impressionnistes. On lit, pêle-mêle, le quotidien d’un village de 15 âmes sur une île au large du pays de Galles, à l’aube d’un conflit mondial qui apparaît comme une menace assourdie par l’isolement des habitants, les pensées de Manod, dix-huit ans, qui sait qu’elle a peu d’horizons, hormis celui de l’océan, poétique tout autant que terre à terre.

Une baleine morte s’échoue sur le rivage. Cela relance quelques superstitions, et ravive des récits folkloriques. Cela attire aussi ce fameux duo d’ethnologues qui arrive du continent, et qui se présentent comme passionnés de folklore et d’authenticité. Ils observent (avec l’aide de Manod qui leur sert de traductrice puisqu’elle parle bien l’anglais contrairement au reste des habitants) l’île, ses croyances, son folklore. Mais Manod n’est pas dupe. De même que le cadavre pourrissant de la baleine, bientôt vu comme ressource des amis des ethnologues (graisse et chair prélevées et envoyés sur le continent - ils laissent le squelette), l’île est symboliquement pillée et trahie par les soi-disants amoureux du lien préservé entre les hommes et la nature. Ils fantasment l’île et son authenticité, y voyant une idéologie séduisante qui ne se vérifie pas vraiment dans les faits comme le fait pertinemment remarquer Manod à Joan, qu’elle a d’abord admirée puisqu’elle incarnait une femme érudite, indépendante, au destin mille fois plus enviable que le sien. Leurs rapports écrits ou mème photographiques, censés être documentaires, sont souvent faussés, embellis pour épater le bourgeois.

Cette baleine devient le symbole d’un monde finissant, celui de la nature sauvage peut-être, celui des îles pauvres qui se dépeuplent, celui d’une paix bientôt brisée, celui de l’espoir de Manod qui rêve de quitter l’île pour accéder à une vie plus intéressante que celle qui a usé irrémédiablement sa mère…

Très belle héroïne, intelligente, lucide, courageuse, juste. Sa modestie et sa rébellion intériorisée rendent son destin encore plus poignant. On devine qu’elle redoute de partir sans sa petite sœur, qui dépend d’autant plus d’elle que sa mère n’est plus… cet emprisonnement social est vraiment remuant, pudiquement évoqué, sans effet de manche. Servi par une écriture inventive, aux métaphores inédites, qui font mouche.

Un très beau livre qui, par sa modestie, provoque une adhésion d’autant plus forte, quasi magnétique.

[greenyvertekins]

Although Sonic is only in one episode of the Knuckles show, his scene with Knuckles on the roof and explaining the beauty of the world around them is a massive reason I enjoy the movie verse. While not perfect portrayals, they at least got the right spirit or tone or whatever to their their writing that makes me go " this is Sonic." Especially compared to the tree scene in Prime where Sonic has no interest and had to be lectured by Amy.

The movie guys know how to stay in their lane and whilst their takes of the characters are very different, they're at the very least interesting takes on the characters nonetheless and they at least don't have the gall to claim canonicity. It's a shame that the first episode of Paramount Knuckles was the best and the rest were so mid. You can really tell that it had the direct involvement of the movie producer, it felt that much like the two films to its benefit.

[barkspawn]

Shane meets up with an old gridball buddy at the saloon after telling you he was going to finally quit drinking. You go there to see what’s taking so long, and he’s plastered. His friend even hits on you, but he’s too out of it to notice. You’re angry, and tell him it’s time to go. He raises his voice at you, which kind of frightens you - you’ve never seen him like this. You tell him that you’ll see him at home. At home, you begin to explain why you’re hurt, which frustrates him further. He raises his voice again, throwing his beer can across the room. You flinch, which is instantly sobering. He slurs, “wait, did you think I was going to hit you?”

He reaches out for you, but you run into the other room and close the door. “Fuck,” he whispers. “FUCK.”

Hours later, you’re woken up by a light tapping on the door. “It’s Shane, i’m calm. I promise that I won’t hurt you. Can you please let me in?”

He breaks down. Apologizes, realizing that he’d never known himself to be that way when drinking - he hates seeing that he could become a man like that to you, to Jas, to anyone. It was a wake up call.

This is a ton of detail just because I grabbed it from my own notes and pasted it, but please do whatever you’d like!

Hi it's me hi

Amelia looked at the clock for the sixth time in an hour. It was getting late. She swore Gus didn't even stay open this late. She frowned, hoping he didn't get too wasted. He promised her that he would finally quit drinking and she planned on holding him to it. Tonight was different and she understood.

Shane’s old friend Gregory had come to visit. They were on the gridball team together when they were younger. Frankly, Amelia wasn't a fan of Greg. He gave off the vibe of one of those guys who never moves past college. Meathead was what came to mind.

It was nearing midnight, which never meant anything good when drinking was involved.

She sighed and pulled her boots on, set to head to the bar and retrieve her likely-drunk husband.

She walked at a steady pace to the saloon, really not looking forward to how this would play out.

It took about ten minutes to get there, a surprising amount of people still there. Shane and Greg were standing over where Shane's usual spot is.

Both were incredibly drunk.

Amelia sighed and walked over to them, both calling out her name as she approached. Emily gave her a look, almost as if to both thank her for coming and apologize for the night to come.

“Oats! I thought you weren’t coming out t’night!”

She sighed and shook her head, “wasn't planning on it. Can we just go home before you—”

“Relax, Amy,” Greg interjected, Shane laughing, knowing she hates that name, “we're fine, jus’ catchin’ up on old times!”

Amelia fought the comeback as she approached her husband, “come on. Let me take you home.”

“I'd let you take me home any day, Amy,” Greg commented. Amelia was speechless. The gall of this man… And Shane just laughed. When she shot him a look, he laughed, “c’mon, you know you're hot.”

“Shane, we're leaving.”

“Oats, chill out,” he slurred, frowning.

“Shane, seriou—”

“Amelia, fuck off,” Shane snapped, his voice raised. She wasn't the only one who stared in shock at him. They'd argued, but he had never raised his voice like this.

After a long moment, she furrowed her brow, “I'll see you at home.”

She was angry. More importantly, he legitimately frightened her. She was tense for the entire walk home.

She sat on the couch, watching sitcoms until he came back. He came back about an hour after, a can of beer in his hand. He stumbled in the door and went straight for the kitchen. She stood and watched him, needing him to acknowledge her somehow.

“Shane, can we talk?”

“Oh, here we go, what is it?” he was obviously beyond drunk, but she had to get it off of her chest.

“Shane, what you did in the saloon really hurt me, okay?”

He took a swig of the beer, not responding.

“You yelled at me in front of a decent amount of people,” she began, but was cut off.

“Amelia, let it go,” Shane said, his voice flat and almost cold.

“No, Shane, you humiliated me! And you let that guy you call a friend hit on me and be some jer—”

“I said just fucking let it go!” Shane yelled. His voice rang through the house as the beer can went flying, hitting the wall while beer spilled everywhere.

It all happened so quickly, Amelia flinched as he threw the can and yelled, genuine fear striking her.

The room got quiet as Shane seemed to have immediately calmed, his eyes meeting hers with an unreadable expression.

“Did… Did you think I was going to hit you…?”

She was still frozen there like a deer in headlights, shocked and afraid. He took a step toward her, his hand held out for her, but she just couldn't. She couldn't believe he would act like that with her. She locked the door, moving to sit on the bed with her knees drawn to her chest.

“Fuck…” she heard Shane mumble, repeating it to himself, “fuck, Oats. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Amelia climbed into their shared bed and just cried. She cried until she eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, she was awoken by light knocking on the door.

“Oats? It's me… It's Shane. Please let me in.. I'm calm and I swear to Yoba that I won't hurt you…”

She paused and walked over, unlocking the door and letting him in. She watched him though.

The minute he saw her eyes swollen from crying and her body tense in fear, he broke.

“Amelia, I'm so, so sorry… I've never gotten that way when drunk… I can't believe I…” he let out a choked sob, “that's not me. You know that's not me, right?”

She sighed and walked over to him, her arms pulling him in. He quietly cried into her shirt for what felt like an eternity. He mumbled apologies and remorse over and over again.

Finally, he calmed enough to take a breath, “Amelia. I can't be that guy. Not toward you, not toward Jas, not toward anyone. I… I can't be that guy. Thank you for letting me hang out with Greg last night. But I'm so sorry it got out of hand. That's not okay and I'm done. I won't touch alcohol again. That look on your face last night… I…”

“Shane… You fucked up, yeah. And I don't like that version of you. But you have the capability to fix it and the support to do so.”

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, “I won't let you down… And I'll kick his ass for coming on to you, I swear.”

She laughed and shook her head, “no ass kicking necessary. Just,” she sighed, “no more, okay? That really scared me and that was after hurting my feelings at the saloon.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“Shane… you know how we want a kid. I think we need to wait until–”

“Yeah. You're right,” Shane frowned, brushing his hand through his hair, “maybe I'll talk to Harvey. See what my options are for help.”

“I'm proud of you for knowing that you should.”

He kissed her forehead as she tucked herself under his arm, her head resting on his chest.

“I'm not fucking it up this time.”

After a long moment, Amelia sighed, “I'm going to be honest. Greg sucks.”

Shane laughed, nodding, “yeah, he kind of does.”

Shane laughed, nodding, “yeah, he kind of does.”