#amet talks

[g-oblincat]

It really bothers me how people on English speaking internet anonymize and therefore slightly dehumanize Chinese people on the net.

I'm reading an indie game retrospective about the success of their game who named the western streamers who streamed their game early on, but referred to a Chinese one as, I quote, "some Chinese streamer on bilibili" despite the fact that this streamer got them a publisher deal that was a key part of their success story.

I don't think it's just a matter of not naming someone you assume your audience won't know or wanting to avoid mentioning a foreign name (which is ... Still weird...). In lolita circles, people often namedrop brands regardless of if they're western or Japanese, and also regardless of if they're indie or brand. However, I almost never see a Chinese brand named- everyone is always referred to as a "Taobao brand". (Rainedragon has a great post on this from 2018, so I guess this is not a new problem). I definitely notice when creators shoutout western indies who use Chinese manufacturing, but won't name pieces by Chinese designers*. It's giving not seeing Chinese people and designers as members of your hobby community, but some unknown black-box monolith that content just materializes from that you can take from thoughtlessly.

Lastly, I think anyone pulling out the "but the Chinese govt is bad!" Excuse for being rude to random indie clothing designers and game streamers is being intentionally ignorant. How have US people gone thru the trump administration and assume everyone in a country agrees with their leaders. Also if you're truly so horrified by the entire country of China that you don't even want to name them, you can stop taking publishing deals from them and buying cheap blouses and shoes for your wardrobe from them. But you won't.

* Not disparaging western indies brands or using Chinese manufacturing- let's not pretend Chinese manufacturing is unilaterally unethical, or unethical labor practices don't happen in the US.

[thederangedsolicitor]

Literal Fingerking, you say? Please, say more!

I suppose it's finally time to talk about them..

I play Amets Estibariz, the Mouling Eidolon, formally the Pontifex of Metamorphoses. They bring and pursue change, especially change of the body and the mind. They wear their skin like a dress, and exchange bodies like fresh gloves. They yearn for the places impossible to them - the golden fingers of the Sun, the moonlit vistas of the Uttermost East, the dancing fires of Hell. They wear the faces of angels and saints. They favour tailors, and accept payment in fine fabrics.

They're a very old and fairly open-ended character by now, so there's a lot of apocryphal stuff around them - a lot of the stuff in the game fits for them, since they're ultimately seeking novelty. (One fun thing I've been doing is renaming a lot of their human(oid) companions as other Fingerkings - it's fun reinterpreting characters in a way that matches the wish-granting/dominion paradigm they have.)

Amets was not always a Fingerking, either, but that is a secret for another time...

[toxicundernet]

“don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio+ backup ratio + yb better + you take fucking redpills and say that its and to "socialize" + you have no social credit + BING CHILLING + super idol 105 C is the best musical performance in the whole history of mankind + Adolf Hitler (German: [ˈadɔlf ˈhɪtlɐ] (About this soundlisten); 20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) was an Austrian-born German politician who was the dictator of Germany from 1933 until his death in 1945. He rose to power as the leader of the Nazi Party,[a] becoming the chancellor in 1933 and then assuming the title of Führer und Reichskanzler in 1934.[b] During his dictatorship, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1 September 1939. He was closely involved in military operations throughout the war and was central to the perpetration of the Holocaust, the genocide of about six million Jews and millions of other victims + don't care + didn't ask + you're white + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + repeat + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your're a (insert stereotype) + not funny didn't laugh + you're* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed + pedophile + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + slight_smile + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + sex offender + not okay + glhf + problematic + GOOF the famous rapper has gone diamond on his album "ON DA SKATEBOARD" + can i get a Chick-fil-a Chicken Sandwich and a Spicy Chicken Sandwich + FAMOUS RAPPER GOOF JUST GROOMED A CHILD IN REAL LIFE HE WAS ACTUALLY THE ZAMN GUY ALL ALONG + black person + white person + mexican person + squid game person + left wing + right wing + chicken wing+ you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nutz” -Menace

Tox: ...

[scaralol]

quick accessibility tip for neocities webmasters

this is something i learned while researching accessible web design and i just wanted to share for people on neocities who aren't aware. this applies to all web design tbh but yeah...

[Image ID: A snippet of code that reads:

<img src="mizuki-icon.png" class="icon" alt=" "> <h2>akiyama mizuki</h2> <p>Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipis [...] aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis auta irure [...] officia desenrunt mollit anim id est laborum.</p> /End ID]

see how in my code i put alt=" " for this image's alt text? this is called a null alt attribute. it indicates to screen readers that an image can be ignored. you reserve this for decorative images (a popular example being dividers), aka images that are non-essential to understanding the content and purpose of a page.

[Image ID: A container with an icon of Akiyama Mizuki from Project Sekai floating to the left of text. The header of the passage is "Akiyama Mizuki", and the body paragraph is "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut ...", an excerpt that is frequently used as dummy text. /End ID]

you can see here that the icon is purely for aesthetic purposes. there's a header that indicates the name of the character i'm going to be talking about so i'm just using the icon to make the container look nice by breaking up the monotony of the text. because of that, i gave it a null alt attribute.

here's another example from my site:

[Image ID: A large graphic of the Vocaloid character Kagamine Len positioned in the background of a webpage. The webpage's header ("scaraa.neocities.org") is above it, and a music player tab that reads "Kagamine Radio" is below it. A container floats to the right. All of these elements cover parts of the graphic. /End ID]

this large image of kagamine len that i put in the background also has a null alt attribute. it's purely decorative, so there's no need to give it informative alt text. screen readers can skip it and no context is lost.

(lmk if my alt text that i used in this post needs improving! i'm kinda new to writing it.)

[punk-o-ween]

gunther, i got a few words for u

don't care + didn't ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hœz mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + shithead + not funny didn't laugh + you're* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed  + weirdo + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + ew + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + idgaf + ugly + not okay + what the fuck + problematic

Uhm, girl, who made u mad today 💀 yall need to learn that just bc a community have a toxic part DOESNT mean the whole community is like that. And mabye she just wanted to make friends that likes the same things as her??? She just asked, no need to get mad. And even id she was toxic, not a reason to attack a whole ass community. Its not that deep. She just talked about her interests. Ur mad 4 nothing istg 😭💀

L+ don't care + didn't ask cry about it who asked + stay mad + get real + bleed + maid seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ur dad left + you fell off + no u the audacity triggered repelled + ur a minor+k+any askers get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass kick rocks + quote tweet +think again + not based not funny didn't laugh + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + no sd and stars+ ur allergic to sunlight+GG! + get rekt trolled + your loss +muted + banned kicked permaban useless I slept with ur mom + yo momma + i said it better tiktok fan + get a life+ unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp+get sticked bug LOL+ talk nonsense-trump supporter + your're a full time cord mod you're" + grammar issue nerd + get clapped lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside+reported ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost+ you "re" + stay pressed + reverse double take back cancelled done for+get a job + sus+ baka+ sussy baka+ get blocked + mad free freer than air + furry+rip bozo+you're a finsert stereotype) + slight smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol + mad cuz bad my pronouns are she, hers, and ber irrelevant deal with it + screencapped your bio karen/kyle) +jealous you're deaf balls+ i'll be right back go ahead whine about it + not straight+ eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off don't care even more + get religion + not okay+ghf+ NFT owner + you make bad memes problematic + fall in line+dog water+ you look like a wall + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can't count to five

[chrromie]

minoa academy art <3

i need to use this blog to actually talk about this damn thing its constantly rotating in my brain

characters: amets viteri, neifion howell

[mishimaflatulence]

L + don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio

I'm logging off of this account I can't do this.

-Kai

[menaceintheworld]

L + don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio

I just squashed my bitty from how mad I am.

[violet-amet]

If you want to do this thing https://www.tumblr.com/violet-amet/741270892700680192?source=share Betrayal, break- for Cat Mask, mistake- for any OC you'd like to ramble rn

Oh-hohohoho~! Thanks! I got some answers deffo for Cat, and Xio and Rick will be great for the last two. I've been missing those two quite a bit recently. heh~.

Cat (🐈) - House Hunted OC (I guess you could label her as my version of the You character, but I don't really see her that way anymore. She is Cat!)

[betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?]

Nah! She is pretty loyal, and kind of liked in my fanfics. I mean, sure, her first meeting with a certain man eating house was rather unpredictable, but she wasn't hurt by that, at least not emotionally, just very confused. Since then, things changed and she learned a lot. Still has a good heart. hehe~.

[break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?]

This one is juicy to me, because she has been through a lot in her thirty(?) years, dying and coming back to life given her immortality. She has some moments in my fanfic where she suffers from depression and the likes, but those are nothing compared to her painful deaths that she often suffers from.

The only person she really breaks down to, is the man eating house she lives in. When it all becomes too much for her, she'd rather not talk or deal with anyone, and self isolate, which doesn't always work out when the being you're living with may be very aware of their surroundings. In other words, no privacy.

It's a good thing though, because she'd needs someone to always be there for her, given how hard it is to deal with such difficult emotions and life. (Despite all my torture, she is truly my favorite for a lot of reasons, but most importantly, she never gives up, just tends to collapse, which is fine I think. She is stronger than she thinks, and I love her a lot for being a little different from the norm for me.)

Xio + Rick - Original characters from my original story, which was inspired by roleplay I've had in the past. (I too love them for their character growth and more.)

[mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask? + a little bit of mistake.]

Xio, no. She is an open book, and has often expressed her troubles with Rick, who is a father figure to her after saving her from near death in the past.

Rick, however, does. He carries a lot of guilt for experimenting on Xio in the past, and is thankful that she came out better for it, than turning into an Abomination, which are mutated humans. He'd rather not show it in front of her, and instead be stoic and aloof, especially in front of the people who they have to work for to exterminate the Abominations. But inside, he is a very heartbroken, guilt ridden man, who just wants to give up.

Because of how deep he was in his work before, being a doctor and all and dealing with a horrible experiment, his ex wife divorced him and took their kids. It got worse when the experiment got exposed, which is fine by him since he helped with that, but it made his ex wife despise him for being a monster of a doctor, and it did lead to a lot of deaths. At least she had left long before it got worst, so she is still very much alive, and thriving with her family.

Now, all Rick is trying to do, is kill as many Abominations as possible, even though it doesn't erase the guilt he feels, because the one person he was able to save, now is caught up in it, and works with him on that. But despite how much he tries to cover it up, Xio knows and understands that he is incredibly hurt by his actions. She carries some guilt too, but not as bad as Rick. It's with her that he can sometimes drop that facade of being aloof and strong, and just becomes his true, guilt ridden self.

[mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?]

Okay, so I already explained that one of Rick's biggest mistake is that he was apart of a large experiment, but let me dive a bit more into that. He was a skilled and reliable doctor, but it was because of that that he was dragged into the project. He couldn't get out of it without a lot of collateral damage in the process.

Basically, he was forced to do it, until he couldn't handle it any more, and blew the whistle pretty much about the experiment with many other doctors, though it was at the risk of their lives.

Now, that's fine and all with Rick, and to sum it up, he hasn't been able to move on or fix it, so he is much pretty much stuck on that for the rest of his life.

But Xio herself... Well, while it's much smaller in comparison, Xio did run away from her family at 19, because she suffered from a bad breakup through finding out she was being cheated on. And since Rick was in town, she decided to tag along by sneaking into his car.

Unfortunately, she'd soon be caught up in being attacked by an Abomination, and got extremely hurt, but not killed thanks to the fact that the experiment she'd went through basically made her body nearly indestructible, in the way that she can heal very quickly from bad injuries, and not get sick and the likes. (Despite all that, she still wears glasses! ha!)

That said, because she got involved, and was already involved with the experiment, the big corp who keeps Rick chained up and working, also had her chained up and working as well, knowing that she was Rick's patient. She couldn't outright tell her family that that happened, despite them knowing what had happened to her before, but she did say she will come back to them from time to time, because she found good work.

And she did! But she does feel guilty for doing something so stupid, because she was too emotional. Her family worries about her everyday, but despite how they feel, they are able to trust Rick enough for them to be all right with it. But, it doesn't mean she is that safe.

Xio may be able to heal quickly, but that doesn't mean she is immortal. That said, she is surprisingly strong not in the physical sense, but emotional and mentally. Eventually, she'd have her own family, through adopting and marriage, and she'd go back to moving closer to her relatives after dealing with "A Lot". haha~!

I hope I explained myself well. Truth be told, Xio and Rick were made during a time I was roleplaying over ten years ago, so their story isn't that great, but I still love them. Their stories and themes were inspired a lot by Resident Evil, funny enough, which is obvious I imagine. But they were fun to write about, despite how flawed it is. There is something fun to explore about them, and some body horror stuff in their stories.

Cat is also fun, despite all the horrible stuff I make her go through. She truly does mean a lot to me, in the way of growth as a person, and I hope to go back to her stories, and the fanfic, when I can handle my writer's block better.

There is something I want to write about with her, that I wish to continue to explore, and be happy with!

Anyway, thanks, Nyoxt! I've rambled on quite a bit! haha~!

[nyoxt]

Tag ask game! Thanks @skullchicken ! Last song you listened to: Биология by VIA gra. Owie you sniped me right in the cheesy pop song moment Last movie you watched: Trolls: Band Together. And I liked it. I think its the best in the trilogy. Currently watching: nothing :( Other things I've watched this year: BLADERUNNER 2049 IN CINEMA ONE MORE TIME, Barbie right after that, Spiderverse ofc, Scavengers Reign (I recommend!!!!), Blue Eye Samurai (I recommend!!!!). I definitely watched more things, but those left the most impressions. Currently reading: 1984. Good book but it wasn't a good idea to start it now . I'm somewhere in the middle currently. Currently listening to: Is it a question about podcasts? If so- I don't listen to them :( And if we are talking music- I'm listening to my Shadowrun-themed playlist Currently working on: eeeehhh....... painting wooden ornaments with dragons. Current obsession: Shadowrun viddy games. ye including the snes one. Gosh I love 'em I'm tagging: @ygtahoy @viperiumprime @violet-amet

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Romance 👩‍❤️‍👩: a relationship dynamic in your wip/s that you want to talk about

Memoir 📝: what would your author bio say if you got the chance to publish?

-verkja

Thank you for the ask! From this ask game.

Romance 👩‍❤️‍👩: a relationship dynamic in your wip/s that you want to talk about

Is there ever a time I do not want to talk about Merry and Damien's pretty-much-qpr relationship? But then, I also don't want to, because that's like 70% of the story (the other 30% being pain) and where's the fun in that.

In general, I do like the "stuck together, because there is no one else" to friends to relationship pipeline.

Memoir 📝: what would your author bio say if you got the chance to publish?

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum. Stet clita kasd gubergren, no sea takimata sanctus est Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.

(Listen, it already took me a day to write my about page on my website.)

[guess-im-here]

Loren Ipsum:

probably a web designer of some kind

Speaks exclusively in unintelligible placeholder text

I think it’d be fun to design her an ENA-style character, plus it kinda fits well I think

Clothes maybe look like patched together newspaper clippings, old websites/blogs, etc.

Character named Lauren Ipsum

[endless-brainrot]

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + dilate + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio+ backup ratio + yb better + you take fucking redpills and say that its and to "socialize" + you have no social credit + BING CHILLING + super idol 105 C is the best musical performance in the whole history of mankind + Adolf Hitler (German: [ˈadɔlf ˈhɪtlɐ] (About this soundlisten); 20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) was an Austrian-born German politician who was the dictator of Germany from 1933 until his death in 1945. He rose to power as the leader of the Nazi Party,[a] becoming the chancellor in 1933 and then assuming the title of Führer und Reichskanzler in 1934.[b] During his dictatorship, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1 September 1939. He was closely involved in military operations throughout the war and was central to the perpetration of the Holocaust, the genocide of about six million Jews and millions of other victims + don't care + didn't ask + you're white + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + repeat + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your're a (insert stereotype) + not funny didn't laugh + you're* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + ratio again + final ratio + stay mad + stay pressed + pedophile + cancelled + done for + mad free + freer than air + rip bozo + slight_smile + cringe again + mad cuz bad + lol + irrelevant + cope + jealous + go ahead whine about it + your problem + don't care even more + sex offender + not okay + glhf + problematic + GOOF the famous rapper has gone diamond on his album "ON DA SKATEBOARD" + can i get a Chick-fil-a Chicken Sandwich and a Spicy Chicken Sandwich + FAMOUS RAPPER GOOF JUST GROOMED A CHILD IN REAL LIFE HE WAS ACTUALLY THE ZAMN GUY ALL ALONG + black person + white person + mexican person + squid game person + left wing + right wing + chicken wing+ you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nuts + radio + do

6/10 a classic

[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 93: The Bends of Nuance

Table of Contents Third Instar, Chapter 24. Go to previous. Go to next. Lorem ipsum dolor something something amet. CWs: Catastrophic disaster, psychological abuse of POWs, near-coma illness, indeterminate separation, acutely disorienting doubt of one's memory continuity and accuracy, near drowning.

________________________________

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” – Heraclitus

Sticks grunted as he set down another crate on the desk behind 'Choly. A few more labored huffs evened out his posture.

'Choly watched him out of the corner of his eye. He had powered off Angel to work on it, and it sat beside the receptionist's desk resting on its curled-under tendrils. With his Pip-Boy tethered to interface with the Mister Handy, the device clicked away quietly as it progressed with its algorithmic repairs.

"Normally, I don't give a care for all the high tech junk, but what is this even for?" Sticks pushed the latch on the crate to pop the lid. He took out one of the circuit boards, and tilted it about to inspect the reddish orange glow of its ringed coils and constellations of ceramic, metal, and glass. "What are these things? They don't look like they fit in your robot."

'Choly fidgeted in the desk chair. His eyes stayed on Angel and his Pip-Boy's screen, no matter how badly he needed to track Sticks. This was not the time for the subject he had rehearsed time and again, but he still found it fumbling out of him.

"They're not to fix Angel," he finally replied, "but I hope they can get me where I can. I've been putting off talking to you until I had everything in order. They're military-grade circuit boards, highly specialized ones. I'm going to get Angel restored in full, and I'm getting us your car back."

Sticks bored of the component and returned it to the crate. The crate clicked shut. 'Choly heard the couch by the door creak, and he presumed the ghoul had sat down.

"Make your mind up: Can they fix Angel or not? Don't drag Blue into this unless you mean it."

"Aiming to achieve both. This property has belonged to several companies, including the one that developed the defense architecture implemented in Ant Lane's vault lining. How to put this… The walls that shield them from electromagnetic radiation is technological, not just architectural. They will need this specific circuitry if they intend to repair the building." He swiveled the chair as far as the keyprong wire would afford him, to toss an optimistic sideglance Sticks's way. "They won't be in any position to argue, you know. I have all the documentation boxed up here that proves what they are, and you'll be the one to cement whatever cost we apply to the exchange."

Sticks's jaw dropped at him. Starstruck awe turned to repulsed dismissal.

"No. What's wrong with staying here? We're not locked in anymore."

'Choly turned from him again, under the pretense of monitoring the scan progress.

"I appreciate you helping me move these heavy crates before you head outside for the day. I think they would be too heavy for Angel in its state, even if I weren't working on it right now."

"What's left of it anyway. Been at this all morning. ...You've still got plenty of MREs, right?"

"I do, but--”

"Well, dosing me with rads heals me up fine. We can prove that because you fixed up my Pip-Boy. Giving you blood doesn't even bother me anymore. I'm sure I can poke around the ruins nearby and find you more of whatever you need for your smoothies."

"As much as I appreciate everything you do for me, this isn't about rations or medications. I can stabilize Angel here, but its condition won't improve if we stay. There's a lot of things, and Ant Lane without question has everything I am in need of. Neither of us may have known it, coming up here, but what I needed wasn't the demolished Walden Drugs warehouse: it was the mall all along."

A repetitive, alternating clicking started up behind 'Choly. He supposed Sticks was fidgeting just as much as he was.

The algorithmic repair continued to chug steadily.

Sticks chuckled, more incredulous than his tone suggested.

"What could you possibly think Ant would have that we can't get anywhere else?"

"Answers, for one. --And Blue, as I mentioned. A lot of what I've laid hands on here explains parts of what transpired in October, but it feels like every article of fact only creates a dozen more questions." With a smile, he rested the Pip-Boy on his thigh to try to keep his foot from tapping. "If we show up with these STAR Cores, there's no question in my mind that we'll secure solid standing."

Sticks got up to pace.

"We're not going back. Knowing what happened isn't going to change what happened. I, I'll fix up another car. I admire your enthusiasm, but it's out of the question."

'Choly started to stand, but caught himself and laced his hands in his lap.

"I already know what happened! I journaled the whole storm. The holotape was damaged, but by applying what I've taught myself over the winter, I repaired it and it's mostly in tact. What I need to know is what it means. Look. We don't have to stay, but I really think we should go. We've got to be out of storm season by now." 'Choly hemmed, and stared at the progress bar's blinking cursor. "I know how you are. You need to hear you're right. You were right. The General did steal a ton of robots from Nashua, but they weren't Lockreed's: they were the Lane's."

"I said we're not leaving."

"Give me travel time plus a day," 'Choly begged. He gave up on turning to face Sticks after swiveling back and forth several times trying. The cord was short enough to be cumbersome, and the cervical collar prevented him from turning his head enough. "We're only across town from the Lane. If you want, we can come right back, or go anywhere else after that. But closure isn't the only amenity we need. Set aside my needs for a moment. We're partners. This isn't me telling you what we're going to do. This is us discussing what we need. We haven't had the chance to talk much since we got here. We've each gone through our own hell this winter, you especially, and I know that. Talk to me. Tell me what you need. Surely you'd at least do for a prepared meal or two and a night in a real bed?"

Sticks slouched close to glower at 'Choly's eye level.

"Here I thought all this heavy lifting was cause you needed my help building something. But you're trying to pack bags. You think we could haul all this back across town without a vehicle? These boards have to weigh five pounds apiece. And then there's all these books and holotapes and who knows what else in the crates. You're asking me what I need. What I need is for you to be rational for once, Mindy!"

'Choly frowned. Sticks grabbed both armrests to keep him from swiveling away, and he squirmed. The lights browned out. 'Choly's mouth sucked back in whatever he was about to say.

Sticks shut his eyes to still himself.

"What now."

Even though he knew that both his device and Angel ran on their own proprietary fusion cores, 'Choly double-checked the Pip-Boy to reassure himself that the outage had not affected the repair scan. The progress bar hung on 99%, ticking away increases to the thousandths.

"...Maybe one of the generators needs a reboot."

"Oh I'll boot it. A swift boot."

"Don't kick it," he whined after him.

He doubted Sticks heard him over the building's decibel gains. It seemed like the power reduction had everything, fans and all, working ten times harder in an attempt to compensate.

The Pip-Boy whir-chirped in completion, and he flew to guarantee he could rewind the keyprong before unplugging it to do so. He stood promptly, and opened Angel’s storage to get into the items he’d packed in the compartment. His officer’s coat and uniform swaddled a single STAR Core. Beneath it lay the twin armillaria, and he plucked them out in case the power reduction became a full outage. He stayed put for the moment to boot Angel. He would have followed, but he had to prove Angel would come back online in tact after the procedure. He didn't want it turning back on without anyone present, either, especially not in a brownout.

A "WHAT THE FUCK–" rang at the end of the hall, followed by a short pained yell. 'Choly would have worried more if he had not next heard the distinct sound of Sticks lashing out at the walls again.

"General Atomics International Mister Handy, 2066 model, nickname 'Angel.' Custom order serialization 33013021102113. Good afternoon, Sir. I think."

"Angel, I promise to look you over as soon as possible. The power just went out. Sticks checks on it." He projected his voice toward the hall, only to see Sticks had reappeared. "Are you okay? That didn't sound good."

"We need to get moving." As Sticks reapproached, smoke rolled off his heaving body. "Now."

"What the hell did you do to the Fusion Generator!"

"Mister Sticks didn't do anything to the generators," Angel said, at a caution. It reignited its thruster flame and resumed hovering. "He didn't get that far."

A loud crash exploded nearby and they all jumped.

"Basement's flooded. I think a main finally gave. We don't have time to argue." He snatched 'Choly by the arm. "A brownout means the power is still trying to run. I'm not going to fry in this stupid building, and neither are you."

"What do you–"

Another crash, followed by an enormous dull scraping. Their steps increasingly sank into squelching carpet.  Speechless, 'Choly trailed off and stopped resisting him. They started toward the front doors, but stopped cold. His ears rang. The wall of snow which had persisted through the entire winter had vanished overnight. The glass front of the building now resembled a murky arctic aquarium, swimming with lugubrious debris.

"Our only chance is to get to the roof."

'Choly held out the armillaria behind them and looked back. The chroma reflected off Angel’s metal form.

Sticks relinquished his grip on ‘Choly. He snatched a chair from the nearest open office, and with it finished the job he had started battering down the access door minutes ago.

"Don't touch the doors. Whatever blew to knock out the lights, they still have juice!"

"Fucking hell! That's what that noise was! Are you ok?"

"You'd better believe it." He kicked in the door, and stormed up the stairs to the landing ahead of them. When their ribbon racks did not register to open the door, he smashed the terminal off the wall with what remained of the chair. "I have wanted to do that since day one."

"Sticks!"

'Choly's eyes stung. From his place halfway up the stairs, he gawked down over the handrail at the water dripping from the hall down the stairwell. He squinted and flinched when Sticks got the outside door open and the daylight flooded in.

"I was half-worried breaking that door open would put us underwater." Sticks asked from out on the roof, "You can swim, right?"

"Don't kid at a time like…"

Sticks doubled back to guide his horrified companion out onto the roof. Angel spotted him from behind. 'Choly shielded his eyes with his other hand to peer out at the city.

"...This."

Humid lukewarm air affronted him, like an exhalation too close for comfort. Neither petrichor nor halitosis, the fetor of disturbed wasteland sediment reminded him only of the tang of suppuration. One hand covered his mouth, less for the smell and more for the shock of it. The other gripped the armillaria, its twine wrapped tight around his palm. Lockreed was the tallest building in the area, and in the same way it had stood above the snow when they arrived, so too was it still the only structure that stood visible. The crowns of trees vaguely approximated aquatic tumbleweeds. Very little of the single-story roofs peeked above the water, crowded with broken trees and large chunks of ice.

"This is a little more severe than a plumbing malfunction, I'm afraid," Angel quipped.

An infrasonic rumbling cut through a third time, and they turned around and around to locate its origin. Intermixed with hunks of truss bridge, a massive ice jam wandered freely southward. 'Choly glanced out over the water again, to note a sharp ebb. The level dropped to reveal second story windows. Floatsam and mirelurks beached atop cape cod roofs. Though it looked like the flood water was rapidly draining out, a dread seized him up. Even brief water congestion this severe would leave lasting collateral.

A wave crested the roof and shoved them off.

Congested with ice and debris, the bridge had only delayed upstate drainage. Now lacking it, the waterways could continue to hemorrhage.

Freezing temperatures penetrated the layers of 'Choly's Surgical Leathers, and weighed him down like lead. Panic flashed his mouth and eyes wide. His muscles locked up from the shock. He barely kept himself from inhaling. He could feel Sticks hook him blindly under an armpit, in an attempt to keep them tethered together. The buoyant armillaria proffered their only visibility in the sediment-blackened water. 'Choly snatched at them to reinforce his grip on their twine. The metallic, rotten taste in his mouth and nose caught his lungs on fire.

He could manage nothing save a gaze into the lightless iridescent chroma of the twin baubles. When they shattered in collision with other detritus, he flinched his eyes shut.

And he exhaled.

________________________________

I sit cross-legged on the stone floor, and plop a bundle in my lap. I whistle as I pick open the knot of the kerchief. My eyes perk up on occasion to glance through the row of steel bars separating me from my captive audience. Three pairs of eyes never leave my meal--or me, the Soviet soldier guarding them.

I smile into myself. With indelicate bare hands, I bite into one of the ezhiki. The vague complexity of its tepid integumentary innards, lacking any spices, is both filling and unsatisfying. I wish, more than flavor, though, that they were still warm.

I stuff a second ball in my mouth without finishing off all of the first.

A mused breath fills my nose. Mouth still full, I hold out a third ezhiki through the bars. Watching. Smiling, mostly with my eyes. The trio all looks at one another, then between the egg-sized rice ball and me. Chewing slowly, I urge them to take the food from me. I can hear the woman mumbling something to the other two in Japanese. I can only presume a topic of distrust.

'I don't have to share with you, you know.' I finish off the second dumpling, then open the mason jar of watery tea to wash it down. 'But share, I am. Come on now. We're all going hungry here.'

The elder of the two male prisoners inches nearer on the floor to me, but the younger man holds him by the shoulder at a caution.

'Do you want it or not?' I laugh. My posture slacks to more resemble a picnicker than a soldier. 'What? You think they're poisoned? I'm eating them, too.'

Before any of them can act, I snatch back the ezhiki and bite into it, too. I look up at them and exaggerate my chewing, nearly grotesque. Even more conflicted expressions tug at their features. The elder man places a hand on his stomach.

'I don't care if you trust me.'

A deep, soft voice comes from behind me:

'Melanka[1], you must be bored again, to be in here.'

I glance up, but do not stand, when my compatriot enters. She takes a fourth dumpling from me when I offer it.

'You must be bored, too, to join me. Ezhiki?'

She eyes the ball, and my messy fingers.

'They had the meat for it today?'

'Trimmings.'

'Mmh. Pavel must be keeping the bones and head cheese for New Year's. Yes, I'll take one. Of course.' The soldier sits with me and breaks it open to inspect it, brow cocked in doubt. She takes a bite. 'Ehh, it's cold and sticky.'

'See? I'm eating it. Daria's eating it. Guess I can't make you eat.' I hold out one of the remaining two again through the bars. 'Idiots.'

'Cabbage for your ducks,' Daria chides. She drinks some of my tea without asking, and I let her. 'They don't have any reason to trust us, you know.'

'Must they trust me, to know they're hungry?'

I hold back a pout. With my attention on Daria, the Japanese woman snatches the dumpling from my hand. I diffuse the start she gave me with a chuckle and a grip on my knees, and lean back to observe with enthusiasm.

The captive smells of it. She hesitates to pass it to the others, but they, too, weigh in on the odor of the serving.

Daria continues to chew at her glutinous rice.

'You're going to mix up which one's which, one of these days.'

I shrug with a certain disappointed resignation.

'You aren't so concerned you won't take food from me.'

'Maybe. Receiving gifts from you seems like the only way out of here.'

'Thank you would be nice.'

'You're just lucky I don't tell anyone that you waste food this way.'

'Pavel wouldn't care.'

'He would! There's only five of us left here. Do you really think our rations will stretch two more months?'

'Do you really think our sanity will stretch even one?'

'Lucky for us, you've let the rest of us have all the sanity for ourselves. It's entertaining, at least.'

I sip at my watery tea. My mouth curls against my teeth as I swallow. I screw the jar lid back on. My eyes skim my lap before picking up to glean any indication our war prisoners have caught onto the nature of my game. Saliva clings to my front teeth, my lips tight against them. The prisoners' dumpling has vanished.

'It's entertaining, at least.'

________________________________

Rustling. Clatters. Murmurs at a distance. The air was dry but still stung of mildew. 'Choly supposed he'd been reminiscing. His goundy eyelids drew open. Not-gold sigma radiation defined the surfaces of the space in which he lay. He questioned how he had a term for it.

This wasn't the cell he had guarded during the conflicts between Russia and Japan--and he had remembered it, not dreamt it. His brain prickled and he squinted his eyes shut with a faint groan.

The next he opened them, a young woman stood over him. She leaned nearer. Her kind gaze observed him. Then she stood again and walked off smoothing her crusty medical apron.

His mouth parted, but he couldn't muster the words to call her back. It wasn't until she had vanished to a back room that he associated the name Nancy to her.

Did I just dream the whole winter? Was I just deathly sick and laid up here in the GCC the whole time? Just how much actually happened?

He mouthed to himself, "That's not right... Is it Nancy?"

No matter what, whatever he'd just come out of hadn't felt like a dream at all.

He turned his head on the limp pillow. The Gate City Clinic cared for dozens of ill and injured. His clammy hands trembled from weakness just as much as chill, and they patted at his front. He had on only a thin robe and skivvies. He huffed noticing the absence of even his Pip-Boy. Panic could not upright him, to investigate where his effects could be.

He found himself questioning whether they had found the orthotics, whether they had ever left Ant Lane, and whether he had even had a Pip-Boy in the first place. He almost let himself be relieved by the possibility that the Division Day Nor'easter may not have transpired at all.

The burnt sweetness of tobacco smoke which permeated the Clinic strengthened. When he glanced toward the foot of the cot, a slim man with pale hair and a beaked nose stood there smoking. Bledsoe withdrew the cigarette from his mouth, pleasantry in his eyes. Too disoriented to trust his recollection of anyone here, 'Choly refused to speak until the other man did.

“Decide to rejoin the living?”

"Is that where this is then," 'Choly murmured.

The smoking man smiled, shut his eyes, and put his cigarette between his lips again.

"I must say, Melancholy. It was a wicked shock for See's to haul you in with the other flood victims. But it's a bigger shock to see you conscious."

If some of what I remember is true, he rationalized, then most of it probably is.

The sockets of his eyes throbbed. He squinted several times, until he thought he'd blinked away some dryness and aches.

"Jacob," he uttered. His heart pounded and he bolted upright heaving. "Jacob! Where's Jacob!?"

His head swam. Bledsoe's firm grip steadied him. He looked to the medic to beg him to say something, but found only a cloud of concerned confusion as the cigarette bobbed limply.

"There's no Jacob in the infirmary. Was he traveling with you two, or…?"

"Ss, Sticks," 'Choly corrected. Desperation choked him. Surely Bledsoe would confirm that he hadn't dreamt him. "Please tell me Sticks made it. And Angel! Bozhemoy Angel--"

His animation tilted him into a coughing fit. Bledsoe pushed him back to recline once more, and cupped a hand to his forehead. The confusion his outburst elicited only boxed his ears all the more.

"Still between, then." Bledsoe sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to come out of a high fever and concussion alert and aware. Sticks will be fine. He's around. He didn't get as sick from the flood water as some of you lot. He did break his leg. It might not be the most medically sound thing I've permitted in my clinic, but the Lane's shambler population is fortunate that Haidinger has volunteered himself to, ah, lend a hand here and there."

Bledsoe could tell 'Choly understood what he meant from the reassurance the answer gave him. 'Choly wrung at his hands and looked to him again.

"And Angel…?"

"No clue. You'd need to ask See's. Maybe Orqueida. Imagine she’d know better than many. See’s has taken over the second floor of Anchor Inn. Moved Customs and combined all the checkpoint workforce. First the snow and then when it all melted at once, well. The weather blocked off all the first floor doors. Anchor’s Covered Parking door has been the only point in or out of here." Bledsoe's stance softened, resting his hands in his pockets. "You've missed out on so much chaos, but there's still plenty--"

'Choly wrestled himself back upright, arguing with the thin sheet.

"--Well take me to Customs! I have to find it! It has to know I’m all right! It’s one-eleven all over again…”

The mere mental preparation of intending to swing his legs off the side of the cot lay him out again wheezing.

"Maybe tomorrow. You sustained a hundred-three degree fever for three days. Prove to me you can keep down liquids. Then we'll talk." Bledsoe patted at one of 'Choly's feet. "I'll get Nance to bring you something. Take it easy. Not a thing in the world to get rushed over, all right?"

'Choly closed his eyes and gave a meek nod. He didn't have it in him to argue.

Go to Next »»»

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A/N: This disaster was largely inspired by the Great Flood of 1936, which put most of the Northeast US underwater, and affected regions as far West as the Dakotas.

[1] Melanka, diminutive endearment form of Melano.

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Fawn Sebastian talking about the Art of Color Correction, Part Two

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