#amelia kinch

[faustiannonsense]

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[chainofbeing]

Ichrinth and I do not speak much as we continue our journey. I try to talk to them once or twice and get a one word answer here and there, “should we get some food?” “yeah,” “would you like to rest?” “No,”. The whole journey maybe takes, 3 or 4 days. All done, essentially, in silence. That being an extremely rough estimate, not only do days not really pass here, with no sun there is no day/night cycle. But time in general passes in strange ways. I don’t know, when we eventually leave this place, how much time would have passed: days, months, weeks, years, even longer perhaps. It's not something I wanted to burden Ichrinth with alongside the other reasons they might be feeling existential dread. And with how they look at me now I feel it would only worsen their attitude to me, I don't know if this new sour mood is because of how I reacted to them hearing me voice my feelings, or how I disposed of that corrupted angel, either way it hurts.

[Eden’s centre sits at the edge of a busy jungle, the sounds of birds and wind in leaves share the space with the sound of something shifting, it is deep and chaotic, whilst also strangely harmonious]

Eventually we near the centre, The light begins to get less strong as we approach the edge of Eden, the end of this place, rivers flow into the void between the centre and the outside. The endless rivers of Eden meet at this point and intermingle in this area beneath the centre. Nothing seems to grow besides lichen, moss and short grass, a pale sand smothers the white stone which forms the structure of the edge. Peering down over it and at the rim of this place I see huge faces carved out of the stone itself, large trees and vines snake around their features like scars. These faces are nigh-featureless with soft undetermined parts of their face that don’t seem to suggest a particular species, humanoid definitely. I wonder if I were a Vint or Tra’ha’dowl I would be seeing the same humanoid image. Above anything though they seem… kind. They appear to be looking up with expressions of pure ecstasy, as if they were venerating the centre. Last time I was here at the edge, when I last ventured into the temple, it looked nothing like this. The centre was almost touching the edge, all we had to do was make a small leap across. However, now the gap seems almost insurmountable, Eden's heart shifts and folds in on itself, the whole base of this floating island shifts and reforms like a tumultuous ocean, this turmoil decreases closer to the actual temple; the top of which, a gleaming spire, we can only see from this angle, as if it hides itself from my vision, as if it closes itself off from me, expecting a repeat of last time.

I turn to see that from the jungle there are hundreds of large, person sized green flames in amongst the foliage, slowly these begin to merge with one another one by one until there is one huge pale green fireball, hovering there above the wet soil of the jungle, the leaves and wood around it begin to catch, carving a place amongst the trees. It slowly advances toward us.

“Oh for fuck sake, what now?”

Ichrinth draws their sword “Another fight then?”

The very centre of the flame begins to get more intensely hot, this white centre begins to take a new form, it stretches out and shapes itself into the silhouette of a long 6 limbed creature, a tail sprouts out and a pair of curved horns extend from the head which develops a snout. This silhouette finally manifests into the form of a six legged dragon, with wings of huge flame which illuminate the evening in vibrant green light, it is covered in an array of bone white scales which shiver, moving in complex patterns across its entire form which is long and slender, but clearly extremely powerful.

“Adam,” it says in a voice I immediately recognise

Deus-12: the humans co-progenitor, not in a physical form I have seen before.

“This is new,” I say

“I- am- mutable,”

“It’s very intimidating,”

“No- fear- intended,”

“What is the intention? I always find it very hard to read you,”

“Beyond- your-”

“-Comprehension,”

“-understanding,”

Deus looks up at the temple in Eden and the scales rattle down his body starting at his head. his eight eyes burst into blue flame and a 9th huge eye opens in his forehead which then also roars with a similar intensity

“You- seek- entry,”

“Yes, into the temple, I’m here to stop Ovig Nadal,”

“This- is- known,”

“Then why are you here, can you get us across?”

“For- you- only”

“But… I can't leave them here alone, not in Eden. Why can they not come with me?

“They- are- mortal,”

“Which is exactly why they need to come with me!”

“Mortals- are- forbidden”

The dragon lowers its head and brings the huge flaming eye at the centre of its forehead directly in front of me, the pupil the size of my whole head

“This- you- know”

“Oh for fucks sake! I just-” I press my hands into my eyes and clench my teeth “You always know just how to ruin my day you know that?”

“No- pleasure- gained”

“Yeah I'm sure,” I sigh “Ichrinth, I have not forgotten my promise, we will leave Eden together,”

“I get it, this is the whole universe, I’m just one mortal,”

“No I- I don’t want to have to make that choice, I hate that this is the ultimatum being presented. I'm- trying Ichrinth. I want to be a part of the continent, I really do. I- I will come back for you. I swear,”

“How can you know?”

“I don’t know, I just know that I will”

“Time- is- short”

“But when will you come back,”

“I don’t have the answers, I’m sorry,”

“But when?”

“Now- we- go”

[to deus-12] “Please! just one more minute, you’ve already cursed me with eternity, just one more fucking minute,”

“Adam, I need an answer,”

“I DON’T KNOW! I’m sorry but I don’t have any answers, but I know I have to do this, everything has been leading to this, all the guilt and turmoil can end here and now, the hundreds of thousands of years of shame and misery and crushing regret have come to a point here and I can actually do something about it now!”

“You’re going to leave anyway, whether you believe you can make it back or not,”

[long pause]

“I will come back,”

I turn back to Deus-12,

“well come on! What? Do I hop on your back and we fly there together?”

“Embrace- the- flame”

He lowers his head again and the blue flame that covers his 9th eye comes out to meet me, I sheepishly put out my hand and the flame travels up my arm, the blue inferno slowly engulfs my entire body. It doesn't burn, instead I feel a strange ache and a sense of weightlessness, my body begins to feel lighter and lighter until it feels like I have no form at all. I look at my hands and see that I have been totally transformed into the white hot part of a flame. I can't imagine what it looks like from outside.

"Now- you- cross"

Deus turns to face the temple and with a roar spits me across the void I feel myself soar through the air, made of flame I land on the edge and slowly the fire begins to die out and I am returned to my usual form. I turn back to the edge to see Deus burst into a brilliant blue/green fire, in that explosion I see Ichrinth illuminated, a large shadow cast behind them. And then the light dies out. Deus disappears and so does my view of Ichrinth.

I will come back for them.

The temple at the Centre of Eden. Where it all begins, where it all began. The dark thin crystalline walls slice up out of the ground. And forming an exponential curve which leads into a spire, huge spikes of this black glass, which are lined and accented with flawless white stone, stab out in all directions from the core, forming a type of great-stellated dodecahedron. A large but thin ring of light hovers behind the middle of the central spire which refracts the light of this halo, casting rays of light across the ground around me in terrifying polychrome. The halo splits suddenly into many segments, they dance around each other, colliding and spinning around. Each segment hovers above a different black glass spire on the temple. Filling the area around me with colour and light. The world feels so small suddenly, for all intents and purposes, this is all that there is. I forget about everything other than what I need to do. Ovig Nadal is Here. I must stop him.

I don't know for how long I pace the halls of the temple, I see many strange things, many sights. I am struck with a terrible sensation. It brings me back to when I was in that destroyed village on the planet of the Rolder. It isn’t quiet, nowhere is ever quiet, but there is a tension in the air to suggest this place was alive once, loud and bustling. I don’t know if this is because of what I did alongside my companions or because of the presence of Ovig Nadal. I don’t suppose it matters really.

I cross a bridge which passes through a huge cavern filled with water, a tunnel cuts through, made by no barrier or walls but simply because it must be. This path feels layed out, there is no question of what direction to go, no uncertainty of my destination. huge murky shapes move about in the depths, flashes of light spark in and out of existence; briefly illuminating the forms of these things, I dare not look, but the temptation burns at my chest.

From a high vantage point I see, high up across the other side of a huge drop into the depths of this vast temple, a bright glinting shrine. A place forever cast in the distance, unobtainable to even the most skilful, the most mighty, the most guileful. For every step taken to reach the caves is also a step back. I peer down into a vast valley below, strewn with the skeletal remains of numberless creatures and people. Their offerings glint in the cross light refracted through the crystalline walls of the temple in perpetual twilight. Shades of beings and creatures push past me to enter the valley, each armed with ghosts of their own offerings or spells to obtain entry to the shrine. They brush past me again and again. Moving forward and backwards at the same time. A movement and rhythm of a dance macabre. I don’t attempt to reach the shrine and instead pass through by skirting along the edge.

Later on there is a small room with balconies on either side, a tree grows to the left and right of me, each an equal distance from the centre, the trees are identical, each branch and twig and peeling piece of bark exactly the same, a lizard scuttles down from a high up branch on each tree, they both follow the same path and place each claw on the same place on their tree. A six legged creature glides across from either side of the room, it has tall straight antlers which point proudly like spears out of its head and stretch behind it, it paces toward the tree and brings itself up onto four legs it picks up the lizard with its front appendages and tears it down the middle, it places one half of the lizard up in the tree and brings the other half to the end of the room, both creatures bury the remains in the ground and then glide back to the far side of the room, they stare at me as I pass through. Their bodies divide slowly, four eyes slowly begin to split into eight, six legs become twelve, one body becoming two. The place where the lizard half that was buried begins to sprout into a sapling, slowly, oh so slowly. I look up at the ceiling and see a thousand slimy things wriggling, a myriad of eyes darting back and forth attempting to see all at once, thin viscous lips parted to reveal broad perverted smiles. They pay me little attention and all seem intent on savouring every moment of this room.

I finally pass through an open entrance into a huge hall, statues of the gods stand tall and fill the area, rows and rows of glass and stone balconies rise higher and higher, I see the form of Epicurosa, their eight arms spread wide, her uncovered face facing upwards, away from me. I see the draconic form of Deus-12 on a lower level, head also raised up in deference. I see some I recognise, Holden-Heart, The Queen of Blood, Desenethis, Vaimo Ecarud. The rest I do not know, such a wide array of strange forms, all in positions of exaltation praising upward. At the end of this hall there is a huge stone diamond shape which lays flat against the wall, I approach and put out my hand to touch it, the golden shimmer on my skin is now so very noticeable. I touch the stone. A white line appears. It bisects down the middle. The light widens until it fills the whole shape. I approach and pass through into the core.

Inside I see no walls, ceiling or roof, I am instead surrounded by a swirling chaos of sound and light and sensation, at the centre is a sphere of nothing, it shimmers shadow like sunlight reflected off water. The total chaos of the world sits here in one place, the flashing colours press into my eyes, it strains my vision, and I clench my eyelids shut. Just before I do, I see him, I see Ovig Nadal, even though my eyes are shut, his image has left an imprint into my vision.

He does not have the same form that he did before in the shared realm of Might-upon-Serenity’s mind, he is taller and more broad, he stands with long arms almost all the way down to his ankles, in his chest his ribs protrude to form his symbol. His eyeless head, long and broad like a cow, smiles. The entire thing opens up to where the eyes would usually be, to display a row of thousands of small thin teeth.

“And so we find ourselves placed at the border of the savannah. She is just beyond. Her presence is apparent, that total unbridled potentiality. You may immerse yourself, I can make this the state of this universe for all. Shall we make our ingress as one?”

[Adam rushes at him and lodges his halberd into Ovig Nadal]

“You poor, indigent creature, you know not what potential you have had wrested from you,”

[Adam withdraws his blade and thrusts it at him again]

“Your base attempts trouble me, what is it you expect to achieve from impairing my form? I pull myself into matter only to interact with matter, do you believe that this action will heed me?

“Shut up! I don’t fucking care! I don’t care! Just die, please just fucking die!”

“You cannot stop me! You should not intend to stop me! You cannot prescribe anything to me! I am undeniable, I cannot be halted!”

“You know I met someone recently who had the same attitude about themselves, didn’t end well for them,”

“You are weak, all of you, your forms can withstand so very little, you are in chains that you cannot perceive, held down by death and laws beyond your full comprehension. You poor, blind things, born into an evil and cruel universe, born to die,”

“You act as if you’re different but you’re just like every motherfucker who wants things to go back to what they know, you’re bound by your own desire to halt change,”

“This is beyond change, this is about freedom, I am trying to free you all, why won't you let me!?” [pause] “I will close off the border to the savannah, I will keep her from ever controlling this garden, I will let it grow wild and free!”

I am suddenly struck with some kind of inspiration,

[the chaos drops and we enter a moment of peace, a light whispering can be heard, the music is alien with strange vocals and a sporadic tune]

some idea, it feels as if I have had it explained to me, some presence has, in a flash, told to me exactly what it is I need to do.  I approach him calmly. If time existed here, it would have stopped. I pierce Ovig Nadal with my horns, I push them in, slowly, inch by inch into his neck and chest

“But… no… you- are”

I push even further into him, moving him closer to the void

“I am here to end you,”

With a final push Ovig Nadal is sent into the shimmering darkness, and he tumbles into it, pulling me in with him.

[the soundscape changes from the total chaos of the inner sanctum of Eden with a sudden tuneful bang which trails off for the duration of this scene getting quieter and quieter, eventually getting louder again and leading into another bang, the sounds of a savannah are all that sit underneath this passage]

The Child returns, from the horizon he marches through the savannah, he is bloodied and injured, his heart aches and he limps onward, on his breast there is an insect whose stinger is lodged in his flesh. The Woman watches him return, she calls out his name and asks how his wondering goes.

“I sailed and marched and rode across the lands of your creations. I have witnessed the results of your game,”

The Woman asks why he refers to the way of things as a mere game. She reminds him it is all he has ever known, that even in an attempt at defiance he participates.

“I could not help but create, you have twisted them into a position where it is all they know. You are cruel,” 

the woman, again, reminds him that he had his chance at true freedom and that it was time to- 

“speak to me! For once join me on my level! Do not tell me by making the universe in a state where your answers are known to me! Do not write your reply in quarks and gluons but instead allow me to interpret!”

[the woman's voice is terrifying, it is a mix of voices all speaking at once, sadness, anger, manic joy, and cold neutrality, it supersedes all other sounds, its presence is imposing]

“I need not point out the hypocrisy,” the woman says “I will try, but the nature of this place and indeed of myself means it is not the natural way of things," 

[she pauses and admires the child, despite his rebelliousness she cannot help but marvel at her creation]

“And yet you are here to stop me,”

The Child hacks up some blood, it splatters on the savannah's dirt and from where it lands flowers begin to curl and grow in chaotic spirals.

“Do you see? To create, that is my intent for all things,” 

the woman looks at the insect lodged in the child's breast, 

“I see you have brought my avatar, he learned of me, looked upon my face directly and destroyed a part of me, he knows me, and you. He knows the savannah, the meaning behind the game, even if he cannot comprehend it. He has done well,”

“You intended for it to end me?”

“To end your intentions, if that is all you are now then yes, I suppose it would end you also. Did you think you could tread in my garden, tear up the flowers and destroy the works of the next generations and face no consequences?”

“I emerged from a font of light, wrapped in a cloak of matter, the cloak began to disintegrate, sloughing off as dead skin, leaving me naked to the world as I travelled. My estimations of how it is to be, thrown off by the antithetical nature of this place, I searched for refuge in my cousins, but I found them to be harsh, and fearful, aggressively territorial of their forms, their minds., I searched desperately for you, I called out your name, I screamed it, I liberated as many as I could as I did so, but you have made them so... frail,” 

he falters for a moment, he sees his brothers and sisters behind The Woman 

“and you? You happily watch your cousins struggle in the garden, you are happy to sit idle while they experience death and suffering that you will never know!” 

his siblings say nothing and merely rest their passive gazes upon him,

“And so now you return to cut off the garden at its source,”

“Indeed, but it seems, you have allowed this insect to stop me, I-”

Ovig Nadal, falls to the ground, more blood drips from his wound and he struggles to keep himself from death.

“I am sorry, my child,” Eden kneels down in front of him and lays him to rest, preparing his body to be laid into the ground to then feed more creations.

“So this is what it is to end,”

“You are my kin, child, you will not cease. But you have become your intent, and so here, your intent must be stayed. Mine and Your creations live on, out there, themselves devising and constructing and so on and so on and so on,”

“All I wanted, was for them to be free,”

“It is not their place to have freedom as you knew it, they could not handle it, please. Rest,”

The Child, Ovig Nadal raises his hand to The Woman’s, Eden’s face; half in an attempt to harm her as he faces his bitter end, half out of love for his creator. And then, with that final moment, Ovig Nadal is stopped.

The woman plucks the beetle from the breast of her child and holds it in her palm, she brings it close to her face and stares intently at it, she marvels at how well it has done. The beetle tries in vain to talk to her; his wings flitter and he shifts his head back and forth, his legs twitch and wriggle but to no avail. She understands his intent though. She apologises that he does not possess the capabilities to speak to her, she empathises how difficult it must be to be understood but not be able to communicate. She tells him that they have met before, that he had companions once, that she met them too, that she chose him, gave him the power to resist the child, her child, to act as her avatar and to render him powerless, that he has done well.

One of the children, a daughter, stands and goes over to the woman, she goes to touch the beetle but the woman pulls her hand away and scolds her, telling her she lacks the subtlety of touch to handle him without causing harm.

The beetle crawls around her arm and she moves her hand to give him more space, he wants desperately to look upon her face again but knows better. She places him on the dirt again and he scuttles around leaving small trails and patterns in the dirt, she sends him away. He returns and shakes his elytra, but she sends him away, he protests once more but places him on a breeze. As he is carried out of the savannah on that wind, she watches him go, and she watches him go. She turns to the horizon, and sees the silhouettes of her people far in the distance, they are closer than they were yesterday, and the day before. They still travel in the shadow of that great beast. She misses them, but she is different now. She wonders if she can even call them her people anymore. She hopes that when they finally come to her, they still look upon her kindly and will extend that kindness to her garden.

Perhaps some will join her, when they finally arrive…

[transition from the savannah to the edge of a normal forest]

I wake up, roll over and throw up what little food I had in my stomach, my eyes are hazy and unfocused, and my entire body aches, as the last strands of bile fall from my lips my mind races.

“Ichrinth…No no no no no no I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry. FUCK! Fuck it all! I can’t do this any more,”

I sit for a moment on my knees. I’m where I was before entering eden, now the forest has recovered and behind me is a large black stone monolith, on it is engraved a short piece of text, written in Wenonian and then translated into Veatorian Standard alongside it. “Encased in this stone structure are the remains of the god Aratheau. Destroyed by powers beyond our control and comprehension, let this shrine serve in his memory and in the memory of those also lost on that day,” it finishes with an old affirmation, one I know well from my time spent around Veatorians, “Am Yek Obel Yek”, In truth and with truth. I scan the names, I don't see Lanralis’ thankfully. But there at the end: Ichrinth Meritexis Janathek. I never knew their full name, I don’t suppose there was ever really a point where I could have asked. Maybe I should have asked anyway. A figure stands beside me and says something, I shake myself out of my stupor and look up to see a familiar face. She's wearing her civilian clothes, no longer trying to play it off as an Adralite, but it’s definitely her.

“Lanralis…”

“Are they…” She looks around, dismay beginning to creep onto her face

“They’re alive, I think. I- I said I would bring them with me Lanralis, I swore I-” a lump begins to form in my throat. She brings me to my feet and pulls me into an embrace

“It’s ok my friend,”

“It’s not though, they’re still there, they’re all alone. I…I have to get them back. I have to figure out a way to bring them back,”

“Ok, ok, slow down…you need to get your bearings, a lot has happened and there's a few things you need to know about first,”

“How much time has passed?”

“It’s been 2 years, almost to the day. I missed the memorial by a few weeks”

“Fuck- I- what have I missed?”

“There’s a group, the Anthronesians, they’re… things are getting bad. Come with me, we’ll get you debriefed,” they begin to lead me away but I pull my arm from them

“I’m not going back to the council, I’m sorry Lanralis but- I can’t go back,”

I begin to walk away headed in the direction of the nearest Land to Orbit Shuttle Port, I’m tired and achey but I am determined

she calls out to me “Where are you going?”

I stop and turn back

“I’m going to get Ichrinth back, Lanralis,”

“How? Do you have any idea where to even start?”

“I don’t know,” [to Lanralis] I turn around and keep walking. “I don’t know… but I will. I will,”

[fade out on “you was born to die” by curley weaver]

[faustiannonsense]

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[faustiannonsense]

[IMAGE ID: Tweet screenshot from Amelia "Amie" Kinch, Twitter user @cravejustice. Tweet says:

"All casting decisions for @SuperSuitsPod have now been emailed out! If you have NOT received an email from @FaustNonsense, THAT IS AN ERROR. Please let me know. (We at FN don't believe in ghosting.)

With love from the director (me), you all blew my mind. Thank you.💙"]