#amd mayne more?

[tepidironian]

[dean-coded-john-girl]

This is my first time b einf drunk too though amd like I feel bad that it's tonight but ut's still gun. M I stay fun. Mt heading is pinning but mostly it's fun.

Idk wa4v mt das will think. I had a dram once about him accepting me. Mayne I will get ly KY and ge'll ve cool.

My brother will disown ne regardless but like that's a given bc he's totally homphobuc and rabsphobic period. But like idegaf bc he suck and I don't cate aviyr his opinion ether way. Ficking churchy asshole. I think I've probably gad more genyi e religious experiences than him yet he's on such a fucjun Hugh horse about how godly he us. M8 ur just a fuckun sinner like the test of us.

Anyway I should stop typing and hot to bed. I'm rambling I think. Gmught and happy new year bitches

Tried coming out as trans to my mom and it went bad, so I'm drunk lmao. Hope y'all are having a better new years eve than me.

[loveofthegoddess]

A friend in the swamp. ((Part 1))

"You are a long way from home friend."

Cyntariaa lifted her head the pain in her abdomen intense and debilitating making the priestess hardly able to walk. And the exhaustion killing any chance she had of healing herself any at all.

"Forgive me...i was following....nghh...."

"Come come inside before you are too hurt to coninie breathing."

The.priestess forced herself to stamd at the other woman's invitation. The took not of the strange red eyes and tribal tattoos on the Kal'dorei's body. She didnt pay them much mind as she followed inside amd found a place to sit keeping a hand over her stomach where the pain was most intense.

"I dont have many visitors. Most cannot survive very long in these swamps. What brought you here?"

There was a deep and almost scared breath before Cyntariaa answered. "Herbs. I need them for effort to retake our lands in winterspring. I need to be able to treat our wounded." Came the weak voice. It seemed the answer suprised the older woman and she moved a bit closer to Cyntariaa.

Those red eyes seemed to pierce Cynmys very existence. Though they were not threatening. Nor were they the eyes of a forsaken or something like the banshee queen Sylvanas.

"How did one with such a noble cause...no never mind that. May I heal you?" The words suprised Cyntariaa greatly. She was almost hesitant but she nodded amd parted her robes to let the woman see where she had been injured.

A scar just aboce Cyntariaas stomach. Made by the tip of a spear that had pierced her through. One that the daughter of the moon had barely survived during her last outing.

After a moment Cyntariaa nearly screamed as she felt pressure, albrit very gentle, preassure on the the scar. But the woman was healing what was deeper slowly taking the pain away and fixing the damage that the troll had caused.

"Thank you."

@nyura-shadowstep

[themadauthorshatter]

FEBUWHUMP DAY 21!!

"Help Him" From the Perdition books by @dreamsofspike-blog

TW for physical and mental abuse, torture, and restraint, and some very unhealthy Ineffable Husbands (I'm sorry to both shippers of the Ineffable Husbands and to myself🤣)

-You guys know that trope in films where two people who love each other are chained at opposite sides of the room and can't get to each other, no matter how hard they try? WELLL, that's happening with Crowley and Gabriel right now, but where Gabriel is chained up by his wrists with Hellfire cuffs and has a muzzle in his mouth, Crowley is simply chained to the wall with his hands behind his back.

-Why is this important? Because the two haven't exactly performed well as of late and he's giving them a refresher course, Gabriel on being a better servant and plaything and captive to Azirphale(and Hell, sure, fine, whatever, I guess🙄) and Crowley on being a faithful partner.

-Crowley's lesson is taught by blessed cuffs that burn and break his skin as he pulls on them, doing so because Gabriel's getting beaten up. He even shouts at Aziraphale to leave Gabriel alone, maybe even insults him out of spur of the moment adrenaline of seeing his boyfriend getting tortured and having none of his plans working.

-To shut him up, Aziraphale gives Crowley a muzzle too, and calls him a bitch (to rub salt in the wound, sue me, it's Whump!), before continuing to beat up Gabriel.

-Crowley still tries to yell and get to Gabriel, the cuffs cutting into his skin further, the muzzle hurting his mouth and making his lips bleed, and tears spilling from his eyes because he feels responsible for what's happening to Gabriel.

-Aziraphale sees the effort and sneers that Crowley's become someone with wandering eyes since they made it out of the apocalypse, losing sight of what's most important to him, like their relationship amd how he let himself get distracted by things like spending time with Anathema or taking pity on Archangels who get what they deserve.

-Crowley wordlessly begs Aziraphale to stop and Aziraphale instead gets Gabriel down and throws him to Crowley's feet, shouting at him to go ahead and save him, to be show his Archangel how much he still loves him, even if it's doing nothing for him.

-Crowley tries to get closer to Gabreil as the Archangel picks himself up, but Aziraphale pulls Gabriel's muzzle off and shouts at Crowley to go on and help him. He wants to be a hero so bad, now's his chance. Hell, he even wagers it: If Crowley can break the chains he's in and show Aziraphale how much pure love and good grace his has despite being a demon, he and Gabriel can escape and he'll leave them alone for good, mayne even take a dip in some holy water, if they so desire.

-Crowley gives Gabriel a teary stare as he is unable to break or slip out of his shackles, but Aziraphale just keeps pushing.

- "What are you waiting for? If you love him so much, then help him!"

-Crowley yanks at his chains one more time before turning to Gabriel, who isn't exactly in the mood for Crowley's sympathy and turns away. Crowley then engages in a glare down with Aziraphale.

-The two glare at each other, glaringly, until Crowley lowers his head and falls to his knees, defeated.

-Aziraphale expresses that he isn't surprised and honestly wasn't sure of what he was expecting; Crowley's good at hiding everything from everyone, isn't he?

-With a caress of the face, Aziraphale tells Crowley to wait for his turn and drags Gabriel away from him and hangs him up once more, commanding Crowley to watch or he and Gabriel with have their wings clippded and hobbled. (If you're confused, look up what hobbling is.)

-With nothing else to be done, Crowley watches as Gabriel is tortured further, the Archangel groaning and responding to the pain, but looking empty, like he's used to what's happening now, and it's something that breaks Crowley further, but not enough to quench the fear for when Aziraphale walks toward him whilst holding a cane or a club and thanking Crowley for being so patient for once.

[normalcryptid]

I don't actually know how to write this or even where to start but I wanted to write something for National Coming Out day, write a very rambling mess of a something but a something. I guess I will just start where all good stories should, at the beginning(except my memory is bad so half of this is probably out of order, opps)

I actually had my first gay moment in kindergarten believe it or not. I don't remember a lot of it though which is typical. All I really remember is my best friend at the time told me to kiss her during nap time. I don't remember if I did but in second grade she started crying one day because I did. Yeah, that's a long time to be upset over a small kiss. I know. Children man. They are insane. But hey, go me. Starting young. I wonder what happened to her? After second grade I moved away because my parents divorced and at that age there isn't much you can do.

Except that's not the beginning so fuck that gay moment. Hell, I don't remember it and I was five so does it even count? The beginning is really April 8, 2014. Threeish years ago. That's the day I met the person who would later become my best friend, the person I tell everything to, probably the most important one of this story besides me(definitely the most important person besides me). There was also two others. We were a small group obessesed with supernatural and just generally being nerdy. I fell out of touch with most of them. I honesty don't know where it all began. Sometime in late May maybe? I kinda sorta mayne grew on crush on a girl I knew named Kelsey and was shocked because uh? Excuse me, I am not gay?( pro tip, you are hella gay) So anyways I asked said nerdy supernatural obessesed good friends of mine about it because of fucking course I did and found out lots of stuff I didn't know. Like shit dudes, half of what I know about gayness is because of these dudes. So I figured hetroflexible. Right. That's that's a thing. Maybe I should sure why the hell not? I'm hetroflexible and hopefully this fades during summer when I don't see her. Yeah, that would definitely work. (it didn't) And well that was that. I just let that be for a while. Later I changed my label to pan because damn everyone is cute. Romantically. Not sexually, you know. More on the pan part later, probably.

So while that was going on I was also wondering hey I don't really feel sexual attraction so uh friends is there a word for someone that doesn't feel sexual attraction unless they like know each other? Amd my friends(bless them) sent me all sorts of fucking refrences to demisexuality and I st there thinking alright this, this is good. So I am demi? Definitely demi. Pretty sure this happened when I was 'straight' so the only lgbt+ part of me I had was that. I could work with that. Maybe this happened in my junior year? Shit, I don't actually remember exactly. This is a mess.

So hey back to the pan part. So fucking as stated, the crush didn't go away and I didn't feel like bi fit exactly. So what do I do? Of fucking course I go to my friends. Of fucking course I do. And what do they do? Help me with the questioning and send me references to pan and poli and all fucking sorts of queer shit. And the good little person I am who wanted to figure this the fuck out necause this was stressful read the shit out of those refrences, found out pan fit and boom. I was now a little demi pancake. Except I was still mostly attracted to guys so that was my life. It was a lie. I'm gay. I don't like guys.

So uh....shit I don't know. I lost touch with all except for James, my best friend. We had a long distance relationship for like a week because fuck I hate distance and anxiety. I hated having to break it off. I still like James. Except there are a lot of reasons why I won't date him besides distance. He already knows. (Sorry James. I love you though) I also had my first girlfriend from September 22, 2015 to January 11, 2016. We didn't do shit and I mostly said yes to her asking me out because I was secretly questioning if pan still fit. I am horrible, I know. I had a big crush on this girl named Casey the whole time though which is honestly digusting. Casey is horrible. Fuck her. She hasn't been on her tumblr in about a year but I fucking hope she reads that one part. Just fuck her. She isn't important. Anyways, Mariana(my girlfriend) broke up with me after a month of her avoiding me and me being the clingy anxiety filled person that I am being full of anxiety and clingy. She did it in front of a bunch of my other friends between classes using the "it's not you, it's me" line. I went to class in shock wantimg to cry with my hands shaking. It was hard to breathe. I am pretty sure I would have had a panic attack if I wasn't so surprised. There was an odd bit of me thinking hey maybe pan doesn't actually fit amyways, maybe I am really straight and this was all a lie. I pined after a lot of boys that I think I mostly liked because my friend Kamryn did since we always seemed to have the same taste in gays. And then I graduated high school. That was that.

Then I met a girl named Hailey. She replaced Casey once I found out how childish and bitchy Casey was as my best friend in person. I just kind of adopted pan again? but never told anyone. It was just kinda there? I had a crush on Hailey too but hey she is also a bitch so fuck her too. She is only important for one thing. So basically when I adopted pan again I started looking at girls. A lot. But me neing the oblivious fucker I am didn't fucking notice until April of this year when I created a thing called the Am I gay theory or AIGT for short where I would write notes and question myself. Needless to say, I wrote one note about how guys are still cute so obviously I am not gay but girls. I came out to Hailey on May 8th, 2017. It was hard. She was the first person I came out as gay to besides James but James knew this whole time. He was always there. He is hella important. I should mention him more because he was there for all of my questioning. Bless him. So Haiely. I came out to her in my work breakroom. I couldn't say it. The words wouldn't form on my mouth. She spent most of the break complaining about her shitty boyfriend. I threw in refrences. Small ones here and there. Jokes mostly. And then one that caught her attention( I said it mostly to myself) amd she went "Wait are you a lesbain or some shit?" and I replied with "Well not how I wanted to tell you but". That would be that except she decided to tell me I should at least kiss a boy before I decide this. No. Fuck that. Fuck you. Just fuck it. The next month a came out to a lot of my coworkers and friends mostly through small jokes. No one cared. Most of them already knew. I moved jobs. Come out to my new work friends really casually. (God this is a ramblimg paragrap.) No one cared or even blinked an eye. We made jokes. We still do. All was merry. I love my new work friends. Kayla keeps asking me if I talked to any hot babes and wanting to find me a girlfriend. People there ask about my nonexistent boyfriend and I talk to kayla about it and she assures me that she never thought I was straight from the moment she walked up to me to now(of fucking course). Why does everyone there assume I have a boyfriend? I own a shirt that says I kiss girls? Just why?

So then pride cameup. Here in Virginia it is later then most prides. It is always the end of September and I asked my paretns to go because I was supportive and I had lots of friends going. I was not out to them at the time. Then ironically Kayla and I had an entire conversation where she said my paretns definitely know I am gay and I said nah they suspect but don't know. The very next day was the Friday before pride and my mom calls me into the living room to basically say hey, I know you are gay. I had to text Kayla and tell her she was right. Amd then I had to comfirm to my dad that hey, I am gay. Surprise except not really because you already knew. Apparently longer then I knew myself. (on a side note, pride was amazing and it is where I got my I kiss girls shirt. I also got a pride flag that now hangs in my window) So now I am happily out as gay.

I also don't identify as demi anymore. I am a lot more ace then I originally thought as I realized in the middle of a conversation with you guessed it James. Also I have been questioning my gender for quite a while now? Hence the Elliot thing. Everyone who knows me in person calls me Zoe so they probably question why I always put Elliot down as a name with questions and why my personal tag is el. Well, I guess you know now. I still go by Zoe so dont feel bad. Call me whatever. I am comfortable with both. I let it rest for a bit because questioning is stressful and I didn't need a label. Well guess who is back on their shit? Me. So yeah, that is my rambling mess of a coming out story so I am just goimg to wrap it up.

Have a great National Coming Out day from your local gay ace gender questioning pal, kids.