#am i the only one that loves reading tags like theyre little secrets or letters people leave behind? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obiwan824 · 7 years ago

Text

Letter-Fedya Dolokhov x Reader x Anatole

Requested by anon

Request: COULD YOU DO A THING WHERE THE READER IS THE YOUNGEST ROSTOVA AND SHE LIVES IN PETERSBURG AND SHE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DOLOKHOV AND WRITES HIM LETTERS AND THEYRE IN LOVE AND SHE SHOWS UP TO THE OPERA SCENE AND SHE HAD ASKED IF HE WANTED TO GO WITH HER BUT HE SAID HE ALREADY HAD PLANS AND THEN SHE SEES HIM AND HÉLÈNE AND SHE SITS RIGHT BEHIND THEM AND SHE FLIRTS WITHANATOLETOMAKEDOLOKHOVJEALOUSANDANATOLEISINONITANDDOLOKHOVSAYSTHATHELOVESHÉLÈNEAND BREAKSUPWITHHERBUTANATOLEMAKESHERHAPPY???????

Y/N looked down at the newest letter, a bright smile plastering across her face. She grabbed it out of the stack of mail, knowing Sonya would tease her if she saw it, and, holding it close to her chest, ran upstairs to her rooms. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned against it, removing the seal carefully with her fingernail and opening the letter, breathing in the familiar scent of fresh paper, ink, and a tiny bit of Fedya’s cologne.

Her eyes scanned the paper slowly, wanting to savor every last word. It was like a poem, the way he wrote, each word carefully planned, each one with a secret meaning. When she finished, she went back to the start, again and again until she had soaked in every last sentence. Y/N smiled to herself as she folded the letter back up and tucked it away in the little wooden box on her desk, settling down to write back.

It had been at least a week since she’d last seen Dolokhov, but it felt like an eternity. She’d have to ask her mother if they could go to Moscow for a visit soon.

As she wrote, a sudden thought made her grin. Fedya had mentioned an opera, one in Moscow, one that was supposed to be the biggest event of the year. All of the ladies and gentleman who were anybody in Russia were said to be attending. And Countess Rostova had mentioned the same opera the other day, insisting that the family went.

Y/N, at the end of her letter, quickly scribbled in her afterthought.

And that opera you mentioned sounds enchanting. Would I be able to accompany you there? I haven’t seen a show in ages. Missing you every day.

Ever yours, Y/N.

She smiled at her work and sealed it up, running off to mail it.

…

Y/N glanced at the glass one more time, studying her reflection. Her hair was still perfectly in place with a dozen pins and her dress was smooth, shiny, and pristine. She had chosen a gown that showed off her shoulders and neck, knowing she had to make an impression. She threw on her coat and ran out, where Anatole was waiting for her with his carriage.

“Ready to go?” he asked, smiling brightly. He looked her up and down. “You clean up nicely!”

She rolled her eyes, taking his arm and letting him help her into the troika. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”

At the opera, men and women entered arm-in-arm, one pair after another, all in a perfect, mechanical rhythm, looking both elegant and foolish at the same time. She took Anatole’s arm, trying not to trip as they entered. Her eyes were immediately scanning the room, trying to find Dolokhov.

Fedya was in the front row, leaning back in his seat comfortably. And his arm was around the seat next to him, holding Anatole’s sister. Helene laughed at something her companion had said, the pair of them looking joyful. Y/N felt a pain in her heart but ignored it, shaking her head.

She leaned over, lips inches from Anatole’s ear. “Will you pretend to flirt with me?”

Anatole quirked an eyebrow at her. “Pretend, darling?”

“Shut up. I want to make him jealous.”

“Aren’t you courting?” Anatole began to move down the aisle and she scrambled to keep up, grabbing his arm again. She paused at this, chewing her lip.

“I don’t know anymore.”

He looked at her apologetically, giving her a tiny smile as he led her to the seats right behind Fedya and Helene. He spoke, voice clear and confident, as always.

“Dolokhov! Sweet sister.”

The pair spun around, smiling at Anatole. When he saw Y/N holding Anatole’s arm, Dolokhov flushed red.

“Y/N! I didn’t think you’d be coming.”

“Well,” Y/N said slowly, looking up at Anatole with as much fondness as she could muster, trying to look in love. “When you said you already had plans, it opened me up for Anatole here.”

Anatole, playing along, slipped an arm around her waist, and she tucked into his side. “Thanks for that, Fedya. I never would have gotten to know Y/N without that chance!”

Fedya wrinkled his nose.

“Well, it was lovely to see you,” Helene said, though it was forced, as the curtain began to rise. Anatole settled into his seat as they turned back around and Y/N did the same. She watched with satisfaction as Fedya snatched his arm away from Helene’s seat and sat stiffly, obviously embarrassed.

“Looks like we’ve done it,” Anatole murmured to her.

“It’s not enough. Keep going.”

As the opera continued, so did Anatole. Whispering little compliments and pickup lines and flirty phrases to her just loud enough so that Dolokhov would hear, keeping his arm around her shoulders. She plastered on a blush, trying to look embarrassed. Before the act was over, however, she found her heart fluttering and her face heating up without her forcing it. She brushed it off as good acting.

When the curtain dropped for intermission, she leaned back in her seat, dropping her head onto Anatole’s shoulder. Y/N found that although she had only done it as an act, she enjoyed the feeling of his hands coming up to tangle in her hair. She was disappointed when Dolokhov never turned around, yet she didn’t pull away. She leaned into Anatole’s touch, feeling her heart beat faster.

…

When Y/N saw the letter in the stack, the familiar address, script, and seal she knew so well, she didn’t feel the usual joy. Her face dropped, her heart plummeted. Maybe this was the time he ended things.

“Y/N, darling?” Anatole’s voice was filled with concern, concern for her. He was visiting from Moscow, giving her updates on her cousin, who was staying there. “Did you get any mail?”

Y/N tucked the letter into her skirts, turning around to face him as he entered the room. She shook her head. “Nope, all boring stuff for mother. Come on, let’s get back to what we were doing, shall we?”

She led him back to her rooms, the letter a heavy weight on her, burning a hole in her skin.

Later that night, when Anatole was asleep in one of the guest rooms, she pulled the letter out and began to open it eagerly. She moved quickly and carelessly, ripping the seal in half, but hardly caring.

The familiar scent of cologne was there, but something new, too- a perfume, sickly sweet and disgusting. She wrinkled her nose, bracing herself to read the letter. The words swarmed in a blur before her eyes, making it hard to read.

Dearest Countess Rostova,

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that I must break off our courtship and engagement. I am afraid I cannot be your husband. My heart belongs to another.

Fedya Dolokhov

It was short and blunt, right to the point, apologetic. Y/N had expected it and so she wondered why tears began to form in her eyes. She threw the letter to the ground and ran to her bed, stuffing her pillow against her face. She screamed into it, muffled, and began to sob.

So it was over. He had found another. Helene Kuragina, Anatole’s sister. Y/N couldn’t even think of the blond right next door as she cried, mourning all she had lost in just a few short days. She shouldn’t have gone to the opera. It would have been easier, then, if she were blissfully unaware. She shouldn’t have flirted with Anatole- perhaps he wouldn’t have broken the engagement if she hadn’t made it seem as if she had someone else to replace him with.

As she sobbed, a sudden pair of slender arms around her waist, gentle and soothing, made her start. A head tucked into her shoulder and a hand stroked her hair, familiar and new all the same.

“Ssh, hush now, darling. It can’t be all bad.”

Y/N turned her head, breaking free of his hold, and falling back on the mattress. She tried to hide her pink, tear-stained face with her hands, but Anatole caught her wrists and pressed them down. He reached out and cupped her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away her tears.

“Is it over?” he asked softly.

Y/N paused, chewing her lip. She knew full well that the moment she said it was over, it would truly be over. She couldn’t make herself do it, and so she nodded stiffly.

Anatole studied her, eyes wide, round, and full of sorrow. “I’m sorry. I know you loved him.”

Y/N leaned into his touch on her cheek, and as her heart fluttered once more, she realized something. She grinned, eyes bright suddenly.

“No. I didn’t.” the blond raised his eyebrows, confused. “I- I- I love you.”

Anatole looked at her for a split second before he leaned forward until his lips were inches from hers, begging to be kissed. He looked up at her from beneath his lashes.

“Can I?”

Y/N thought of Dolokhov for a moment. Fedya, who had loved her, once upon a time. But he was nothing in her mind, now, a faint shadow, nothing but a memory of something that had once been there. His love was nothing, it was dull and bland in comparison to the passion and fondness that was in front of her then. Her heart thudded with anticipation, trying to get out of her chest, every nerve in her body wanted Anatole. She smiled once more, one that reached her eyes. All tears disappeared and she nodded.

“Kiss me, fool.”

tags: @phoebuus @lyricsstories

#yikes #anatole queueagin #nick writes

13 notes · View notes

themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

Text

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 298 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

If youve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans financial and otherwise ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with. For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like getting out of debt and becoming financially independent as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices. Ive seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal then fall right back into debt once theyve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (Its like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.) Instead, I think its important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; its merely a means to an end. When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like its one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But its not the only tool. Today, to celebrate this sites twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If youve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you. Note: Ive done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Shers excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, Ill give you a list of recommended reading and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose. Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy The first exercise is one I created myself. Its based on CrossFits world-class fitness in 100 words statement. Theres no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared. Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice youve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy? As an example, heres my own hundred-word philosophy, which Ive written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process, was advice from my girlfriend. Create your own luck is based on my friend Michelles advice to create your own certainty. Again: Target one hundred words exactly. Itll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which Ive hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you dont have to go that far. Your Original Self This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Shers Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that its a lot of fun to complete. Heres how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (Theres no writing involved in this exercise only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? Try to answer these questions: What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?What sense smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like theres a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you dont have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid: When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there werent many.) I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the big tree and hanging out under its branches. Yes, theres still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think thats one of the reasons Ive come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. Its an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And thats probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. What talents and abilities might this interest point to? Im not sure really. Who Do You Think You Are? This activity is short but effective. On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There arent any right or wrong answers here, and theres only one rule: Dont overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, This is me. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] Focus on Five Well explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. Youll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworths Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein). Heres how it works: Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects youre currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like theres no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching it doesnt matter how and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).Lastly, look at the goals you didnt circle. These you avoid at all costs, writes Duckworth. Theyre what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more. Harsh but true. If you need help prioritizing your goals it can be tough to sort through so many! rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better. Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffetts exercise. Ask yourself: To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose? The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better youll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose). When I write about goals next week, Ill ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirskys The How of Happiness. A Letter to the Future Heres another exercise thats common in self-help manuals. Youre going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy youd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If youre childless like me, youll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as youd like them known to your descendants. Pretend like youre near the end of your life and want to share the greatest hits version of your personal story for posterity. One common way to approach this is to pretend youre writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation: In your minds eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where youve been involved in service. Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. Thats okay. By thinking about how youd like people to remember you in the future, after youre gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. 20 Things You Like to Do Heres another exercise from Barbara Shers Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simons Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. Thats the only rule. Dont cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.) Now youre going to make a chart. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.) Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. Its your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life? To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Heres a screenshot of my list. (Because Im a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means computer games came to mind as something that I like to do before sex did. Yikes! Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. Theres also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But its clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and most of all slow. The only activity on my list thats truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. Who Do You Want to Be? This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits youd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol? It doesnt matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list. When youve finished, reframe each item using the following format: I am the kind of man who [blank] where [blank] is the habit or quality youre trying to develop. (And obviously, if youre a woman please reframe each of these as I am the sort of woman who [blank].) For example, if you wrote down that youd like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day. Or, better: I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can. If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. Im genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities youd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation. Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been Imagine you grew up with all of the resources financial, emotional, educational you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You werent limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be? Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as youd like. Whats the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say youd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say youd be a movie star. Dont hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. Dont pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] The Ideal Schedule In David James Duncans The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. Hes still in high school when he formulates the following plan: The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule sleep: 6 hoursfood consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)school: 0 hours!bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day! Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose: Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule finish school; no college!move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleepdo all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!! I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, hes able to figure out ways to put this dream into action. In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Heres how it works. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what its like in the present tense and in detail from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I might say, for instance: I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money. And so on. As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone? As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Dont limit yourself. If youd like to sing or sail but dont know how, in this fantasy you do know how.Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, youre not on vacation. Youre imagining a normal day but an ideal day. Where are you?Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe its the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe its somebody else. Let your imagination go. Dont put down only what you think is possible put down the kind of day youd like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills youve ever wished for. Note: Before (or after) you complete the ideal day exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkams website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments. What Color Are You? This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Heres how it works. Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, heres a page with a bunch of colors. Youre now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. Youre going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color. Take a sheet of paper. Write: I am red or I am orange or I am carnation blue. Do not say I like blue because or I think blue is. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color. Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color not as yourself. For instance: I am dark blue. Im quiet and deep like the ocean. Or: I am yellow. Im bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm. There are no right answers to this exercise. If youre black, be black! I think Suzanne Vegas Small Blue Thing is a great example of what you might do with this activity. [embedded content] What color am I? Im orange, of course. The 14-Word Description This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you? For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but its better to brainstorm more. Dont ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself? If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best. Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors. Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (Theyre all still accurate.) Adventurous I love to try new things.Creative I love to make new things.Curious I love to learn new things.Evolving Im a different man today than I was yesterday.Independent I make and act on my own decisions.Intelligent I am smart.Playful I like to joke and jest.Positive I look on the bright side.Resourceful I search for ways to get things done.Sociable I enjoy the company of others.Tenacious I pursue my goals with vigor.Unguarded I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.Versatile I am good at many things.Zealous Im passionate about my friends and hobbies. Heres one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive, she told me. But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. Its as if theyre more aware of their shortcomings or at least more willing to admit them. Three Questions about Life Planning Last of all, heres the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you wont feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed? These questions which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals. Over the past five years, Ive shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe itll change yours. Recommended Reading In this article, Ive done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own the hundred-word exercise, for instance but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they dont ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on whats important. Victor Frankls classic Mans Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. Its a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesnt contain any reader homework. Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too: To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworths Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. Its that good. Ive listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida). Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon. As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. Its what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, youve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals. Next week, Ill share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? Well talk about that in just a few days. In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better? Shares 298 https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/

0 notes

smeehaw · 8 years ago

Note

Okay, so on the 65 Questions You Aren't Used To, I'm just choosing random numbers... 1-14, 18, 20-27, 34, 36, 39, 40-43, 46, 50, 52-54, 57-59, 60, 61-64.. I haven't checked those, so bear with me xD

1) Do you ever doubt the existence of others?BroDudeAll the tiiiimeeeeee

2) On a scale of 1-5 how afraid of the dark are you?Depends how many horror movies my parents have watched that night,,

3) The person youd never want to meet?Hey, get this: Im an antisocial introvert, so basically everyone except those Ive met anonymously first

4) Favorite word?Circular

5) If you were a type of tree, which type would you be?HhhhmmmmmmMaybe a...Idk man idk

6) When you looked in the mirror this morning, what was your first thought?I got outta bed at 11 AM wym this morning?

7) What shirt are you wearing rn?A teal extremely fuzzy pajama one *shrug*

8) What do you label yourself as?Mmm I guess a female polyamorous and polyromantic asexual if thats what this meansI dont really like labeling myself tho bc nothings really accurate and it makes me feel restricted

9) Dark room or light room?Depends whether or not Im drawing or need to see smth (light rn)

10) What were you doing last night at midnight?Well its 11 mins past midnight rn so IdkBut last night I was asleep early for once in my life

11) What age has been your favorite so far?I meanI guess five bc dang I was happy and things were likeSimpleIdk

12) Who was the last person who said I love you to you?HhhmmmmI think my mom

13) Your worst enemy?Like half the guys in my school, collectively

14) Current desktop backround?Nonexistent…….

18) Who would you really like to punch?Like half the guys in my school, collectively

20) Your best physical attribute?UhI guess my hairs pretty ok

21) If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do?I literally wouldnt go anywhere and just lock myself in my room bc I wouldnt want to be experimented on lmao

22) Whats your secret talent?Being clumsy af, except thats not a secret or a talent

23) A unique fear of yours?1) Im scared af of little dogs bc one almost scratched my eye out when I was seven2) If I can even so much as hear a horror movie in the background I have nightmares for at least two days (help)

24) Im not gonna type this entire question go check for it yourself lmaoAlso Id probs just make a cream-cheese and cinnamon sandwhich on lightly toasted rhye bread…

25) If you found $100 howd you spend it?I wouldntThats a kinda small amount of moneyId save it

26) If you had a plane ticket to anywhere, where would you go?Canada and Id stay there foreverNo America pleaseThanks

27) No

34) Last dream?My friends and I were all placed into the multiverse of podcasts and we all died

36) Have you ever been entered into the hospital?I had really bad asthma when I was likeTwo or threeAnd remember that dog incident I mentioned back in question 23? Yeah

39) Faborite musical genre?Broadway, 60s, 70s

40) Sunrise or sunset?Ssssssuuuuuuuuuunsssssset

41) Favorite flavor of milkshake?Chocolate

42) Favorite football team?Listen here:Im not a sports fanI dont even have a TVI also dont get the idea of sportsIm not competitive

43) Any scars?No, somehow

46) How reliable are you?HaaaaahhahahahadhaahhahahagagahhhghgWait is this a serious question?

50) Whats the most unusual conversation youve had?Its composed of Thomas Jefferson shitting out pancakes, Thomas the Train Engine, and the darkest carrots

52) How long can you go without talking?A veryyyyyyy long timeIf I didnt need to, Id probably never speak

53) Whats your worst haircut?I meanIve always kinda had the same oneBut I used to.have bangs so that wasYikes

54) Have you ever baked your own cake?Ive never baked anything?

57) Whats the last thing you drew a picture of?Ok that doesnt really make sense?But the last thing I drew has to do with the darkest carrot thing from question 50 and I might upload it tomorrow if I remember(Ill tag you in it)

58) Your dream car?Nonexistent

59) Do you do anything unusual in the shower?Well everybody else spends fifteen minutes daily thinking about the meaning of life in their shower, right?

60) Do you believe in aliens?EhhKinda?I mean I find it hard to believe that were the only planet with sentient living things on it in existence

61) Do you read your horoscope daily?Nope

62) Your favorite letter of the alphabet?X

63) Dungeons or dragons? (No sorry its actually Dragons or dinosaurs?)Dragons

64) How do you feel about babies?I meanTheyreEhhId adopt a one year old maybe but any younger than that and I just kindaEhhhhHH

0 notes

themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

Text

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 208 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

0 notes