#am i going to reblog it anyways? absolutely
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK. PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.
#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me#like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but#it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are#both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl#mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they#were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy#start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in#a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled#together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america#every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id#leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit#brocedes#f1 web weaving#f1#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#f1 edit#nr6#lh44#web weaving
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don’t mind me, just going to queue up some amazing fics while i sulk a little about not participating in kinktober 🥲
#— yap central#tw vent#now im just gonna ramble a little in tags bc it’s basically my diary#i am fully aware that this is 110 a ‘me’ problem but that doesn’t stop me from going into a sad spiral ✌🏻😗#i am very excited to read all my friends kinktober fics and i will devour them all MARK MY WORDS#idk i just find myself a little upset by the fact that im not participating#firstly i am NOT confident in my smut writing abilities#secondly the few times I have done it it just really killed my motivation to write#found it boring and v repetitive#but there’s something about seeing so many people participate#so many talented writers all gathering#creating super creative ideas and concepts and GOSH PEOPLE ARE AO TALENTED#AAAAND the state is the fandom right now is very smut centred#which is absolutely no problem i mean i read and reblog smut all the time#it’s just a little rough yk#comparison really is the devil#idk been a rough day at work and im just tired I suppose#ANYWAY I WILL DEVOUR ALL THE KINKTOBER FICS#YOURE ALL CRAZY GOOD AND I ADMIRE YOU ALL
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...
#i am only typing this because im tired and feeling more loosey goosey than i usually would i guess#but ive just been debating something for a while now#so basically i used to just openly talk about like. everything on this blog but then due to a multitude of reasons#i stopped posting about certain things 1. because irl people found my blog and probably still could if they Really tried#2. because i didnt want to post about certain things and have absolutely anyone know shit about me#like as much as it can feel like a cosy wee community. just me and my mutuals <3 etc. its like. actually the fucking internet djdbdjdhdhjdh#anyways whats prompting me to type all this is that i used to post kinda negative stuff on here i guess you could say. like just my feelings#and shit. but i stopped because i want this to be a positive blog and i do feel like you can manifest shit you know? if i constantly reblog#posts where im like “i feel worthless and i am a piece of shit” that isnt helping anything you know? i think what really hammered it home#for me is when i saw a mutual rb something from me like that and it made me so sad tbh. because like. no youre not. youre amazing and ily#you know? anyways. overall i think it has been a decision for the best and i enjoy that my blog has become a more positive space. but i#do sometimes just feel like im kind of going the opposite direction where i act a certain way when im really just. feeling crap.#like all the time. idk maybe tumblr isnt the place for it but it used to be my outlet you know? and i have other things like my diary and#art and even a sideblog lmao. but i guess i do just mourn my whole self not being on this blog. idk what im trying to say by all this#is it this deep? am i thinking about this way too much lmao. idk. idk.#le text post
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Zlatko Yunho
I know, I'm as surprised as everyone else that I actually finished something
#is this perfect! absolutely not!#am I happy with this? yes!!! shockingly!!#yunho#ateez fanart#dbh#literally found my Connor jacket and was like 'i need to draw someone in kpop in the Zlatko Droid style '#so here we are#jeong yunho#art#digital art#kpop fanart#dbh art#ateez#ateez yunho#please for the love of everything don't repost this! reblogs are great! shares on Instagram? terrific! but don't be rude and repost please#anyway. you guys are the first to see this bad boy because I always post at random times on here bc why not#nyx draws#my art#nyx draws : ateez#finished this and now Imma go do little Shanks doodles or something
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Y'all after Ukraine was attacked by russia: well Ukraine IS a country of nazis I mean they have Azov right? what do you MEAN it's actually russia that has been murdering gay people and trans people and people of color and muslims and jews and-- Y'all after ~1000 civilians are murdered by Hamas: Yeah we're Team Hamas even though they have made statements saying the Holocaust didn't go far enough in absolutely no uncertain terms as to their meaning and they're best buddies with literal neo-nazis and have trained with neo-nazis and neo-nazis sing their praises and have murdered Palestinian Jews and and claim Jews are the cause of everything bad in the world and gee wouldn't it be nice if all the Jews were dead and--
for a crowd of 'yeah let's all punch nazis' you sure do stand up and get behind the actual nazis awfully quick instead
I want to believe at least with Hamas it is a whole mess of ignorance about what Hamas actually is. Which... honestly just makes me really twitchy because... did no one like... take a teensy little Google search to see what Hamas stands for first before going YAY HAMAS? Cause I've also seen people try to compare it to a bunch of other fights for independence and liberation and like how fucking dare you? How fucking dare you compare antisemitic terrorists to those freedom fighters? Especially when you boohoo Ukraine because of Azov but Hamas is hunky doorey when they are literally listed as an antisemitic terrorist organization w/o any quibbling whatsoever by numerous third party, independent worldwide organizations who make it their job to classify these things.
Which leads into... did y'all not see the part about 'civilians'? Not Israeli Defense Force bases. Not Israeli soldiers. Not even Israeli colonizers or whathaveyou. But literal civilians, many of whom were minding their own business at a literal celebration of Torah. Simchat Torah. A holiday now stained in blood just as much as Yom Kippur was 50 years ago. We can argue who should be settling where until we're blue in the face but I thought we agreed eons ago that civilians are off limits no matter what. They didn't do anything. Not every Israeli is a colonizer. None of them did anything to precipitate the attack. And even then, once again, violence against women is not okay no matter what group you are a part of! AND THERE WERE CHILDREN!!!! What could a CHILD have done?! It doesn't matter which side, a civilian is a civilian and rape is rape! I don't want to be a part of any liberation, support any kind of liberation, with those kinds of ingredients where rape is okay and the murder of civilians is greenlit. You can't tell me you do either. I have to believe you truly don't. You made a mistake. You misread something. You didn't read enough. You did something that caused you to miss the parts that said you shouldn't support Hamas. Okay. Accept it. Learn from it. Stop supporting them.
Bear that in mind when you see posts about how Jews in and outside of Israel are hurting and are now watching in shock and despair as their friends seem to be ignoring all of these facts.
Hamas and russia have many many many MANY things in fucking common and if that makes you uncomfortable then I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable being told the people you thought were the freedom fighter good guy liberator types are actually murderous rapist antisemitic terrorists then maybe that's your own fault for not doing the legwork to find out before you went on a spree of 'yay Hamas'. Do yourself a favor and find a water hose before you burn that bridge between you and your Jewish friends.
And if you actually care about Jews AND Palestinians? Why are you pro Hamas if Hamas has been found to murder Palestinian Jews or indeed any Palestinian they find to be lacking in being a proper Palestinian? I don't know about you but I am so not here for the murder of Palestinians, Jew or otherwise. By anyone. So it IS a mistake, right, to say 'yay Hamas'? Right? We agreed, right, that we don't respond to atrocity with atrocity right? We agreed, right, that we don't murder hundreds of civilians in a surprise attack right? Civilians are civilians are civilians. If it's bad when Israel does something to civilians, it's bad when a Western country does it, then it's bad when Hamas does it. End of fucking discussion.
So yeah. Especially don't talk to the Ukrainian Jew and act like he has no right to be upset and hurt and watch two years in a row as people who should know fucking better are suddenly seeming to delight in the deaths of people they claim to care about and say are worth defending. Or if not delight, at the very least seem to be okay with it even though they should be completely against it.
This is not what liberation should look like. Hamas is not what heroes look like. You are being hypocrites.
And perhaps here's the main thing: This was not actually about politics at all. This was about the hatred of Jews. And it is absolutely 'your bad' you are so blinded by 'Israel bad' you decided any of this was inevitable, was bound to happen just for being Israeli, that it's okay to do. No amount of 'but Israel--' justifies what happened on Saturday. The largest single event massacre of Jews since the Holocaust and you're okay with it because 'but Israel'. At the end of the day that is what happened, innocent Jews were murdered during one of the most joyous holidays of the Hebrew calendar. Hamas didn't do it for the Palestinians. They did it because they want Jews to no longer be on this Earth.
#I AM glad to see that some people seem to have woken up and realized just WHO they were supporting#i'm disappointed that some folks seem to have skipped a couple of important steps before reblogging/retweeting stuff#not just fact checking wise but also just normal every day empathy and common sense wise#simchat torah attack tag#world events#anyways this is the rest of what I'm going to say about this#unless something absolutely requires it lol#hamas tag#hamas massacre attack
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What if instead of finishing all my WIPS that I’m hoping to have out by the end of the year I started writing another Drabble about the fallout of a collapsing relationship and infidelity. Hm. What if 🤔 💭 ✍️
#thinking about my anarcia break up oneshot again#I saw a poll about cheating fics and went god. what if I did that again#pure angst no comfort#a couple that’s still together but they haven’t been a capital c couple for a long time#we’re dating but we don’t even recognize each other anymore#we’re both doing things we know hurt each other and we both know we should have ended this a long time ago and yet#also I was listening to that one TikTok ballerinas song and it’s so good she’s so good I love her and her music#anyways that song had the vibes im going for with this idea#anyways I miss writing angst#idk if y’all liked the breakup Drabble but I liked it and that’s what matters#I know Danielle was so mad at me for making Marcia a Cheater bur hey it was necessary for the story#anyways it’s 2:30 am and I need to go to sleep or finish writing my exchange fic and absolutely not start something new#anyways#would y’all be interested sound off in the replies or reblogs or tags or my dms whatever#Rachel rambles#writing#okay love you all mwah#also I posted this to my main by accident#and I had to painstakingly retype all these tags so if you don’t take the time to read them I’m jumping off my roof
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TRAIN 2.0 (NOW WITH THE FRONT IN THE FRONT)
#APPARENTLY. u are not supposed to be able to put a video in a reblog. which is why it was giving me so much trouble the last time#i just got lucky that it bugged out ig#anyway this one is good enough that it can go in the tag#totk#tears of the kingdom#anyway im SURE there are ways to make much fancier trains later in the game#the point of this is that i am. literally still on Tutorial Island™#so i am just making. the absolute shittiest train imaginable. ur welcome
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also i literally wrote a whole thing about the kip as tumblr sexy man thing but search isnt letting me find it so you just gotta believe me
#i specifically also remember writing it to get out frustrations about job hunting so like. its biased as hell lmao#one reason to find it again so i can fix it lmao#but it exists. going through each point deciding whether or not certain features apply to him#if i remember right study showed negative results but it was very close to being like 50/50#tho again a lot of bias in that admittedly as i am in steady denial about this fact so like. yeah#anyways im gonna try to find it again it wasnt that long ago since i reblogged it but yesterdays queue clearance kinda messed me up#also yeah lee this is your fault lol#night is an absolute mess on main
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Tbh I'm shocked I haven't posted this here, I drew this in March of 2022. I knew for sure I was Ace at the tail end of 2021, when having a conversation with my cishet male friend about a D&D PC of mine's sexual habits, and how "unrealistic" they perhaps were given the personality I gave him. It wasn't offensive to me at all, but it made me think, why did I make him so reserved? And a few days later it smacked me that this was likely because what I had suspected for about a year prior was true - my ass is Ace.
And this explained a lot about me and my thoughts and habits throughout my life. Sex never bothered me, but I had no desire to even consider it unless I was already close to someone, and couldn't understand how other people didn't feel the same. I never had celebrity or fictional crushes, and I got teased a lot for being ~a virgin~ (which, honestly, made me FURIOUS because who were they to tell me what to do with my body?). That and how I interacted with the few irl crushes I did have (which if we're counting, 3 people in my 30 years on this earth) really pointed in this direction.
And in true Ash fashion I realized I sit in this category via an OC. Because of course. It's on brand and absolutely hilarious.
Anyway, Happy Pride, to those who are out and those who aren't, and remember just cuz the month is over it doesn't mean your visibility doesn't matter anymore. Also, fuck them terfs.
#pride#asexual#art#asharts#me#i saw a few of my homies posting last minute things and was going to reblog this art and then I realized#wait its not here#i only posted it on twitter#which is fascinating#so enjoy this absolute SCRIBBLE that I wish I had time to redo#but alas I am in freelance hell#for those who are perhaps confused about me and gender#I am she/her cishet but also dont give a shit#misgender me see if I care#walking the line is a pastime of mine#love to confuse people#whats my gender? wouldnt you like to know#anyway happy pride yall
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i dont have "liked it before it was cool" syndrome i have looking at a wiki and going "i know more than you" syndrome
#i cant look at vocawikis bc i get consumed by blind rage#like sure u may be technically right but u are missing some important details and context in many things#as well as going 'possibly a take on xxx' when xxx is absolutely the intended interpretation#which u would know if u had reading skills which i sure hope u do if ur doing translations in the most widely publicly accessible place#this probably sounds rich coming from someone who is wrong and makes mistakes all the time#but u see. i am one singular unpopular person#my mistakes do not wildly skew a person's perception if they only know one language#or in the event they do its on a minor scale#additionally if i realize im wrong its so easy to just be like. hey. i learned some new things & now i realize its this instead#if u site vocalyrics wiki or whatever the fuck it is at me i will quarter you#anyway im leaving reblogs on u can separate this from my tag rant if u vibe with it love and peace on planat arrth
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sometimes i make the brave yet stupid mistake to click on the notes of an art piece or gifset with 1k notes and feel my blood boil in anger as i realize only 100 of those are reblogs and the rest are all likes. with every year i am on here, this is getting worse and worse. does the reblog button mean nothing to you??? even tho it's literally the reason you see posts on your dash??? it's right next to the like button, you can't bloody miss it! it shouldn't be that hard to reblog the things one likes, hello??? art takes time and love and energy to create and the minimum one can do is spread it, even leave a kind comment if/when you have the time! stop taking it for granted ffs
#anyways hi i absolutely AM one of those who block spam likers sorry not sorry#but when i open this app to 100 new notifications and all of them are likes and i visit the likers blog to see if they reblog/queue at all#and then i realize they don't or if they do then only shitposts. well then i block#i've done it before and i will do it again#if you have the time to go through someones blog to like 100+ art pieces you also have the time to leave the share them and leave some#kind words#if i didn't have such terrible memory i'd straight up stop liking the things i intend to reblog to combat this shit ass behavior
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I’m doing proof of life posting. to prove I am alive. is it working yet
#Guys i am going to level with you all. the first reason i shill jeweler richard so hard is because seigi and richard are my best friends who#changed my life for the better. like absolutely fully i am a better happier person because of them. but the second reason. i am starving.#and you all. my friends. are so talented. Please. please i will beg. i am—frankly—already begging#anyway while i’m at it Gonna go reblog krisnix divorce art real quick
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🥹🥹🥹🥹
#i am always going on about how feedback is lovely but doesn't particularly motivate me#buuuuuuuut#i got a bunch of reblogs tonight on the ayan's instagram edit i made#and i am now back working on kan's#i have his and akk's almost ready to go i just ran out of ideas for posts#i have a few ideas for wat's#i am going to s t r u g g l e with thua's lmao#i may end up doing a second aye one#i'm trying to incorporate their personalities into every element and some are relatively easy#aye am i being a play on words on his name#umakktually being both a sarcastic interjection and a play on um being a common way of transcribing 'yes'#watadirector is pretty self explanatory at the same time as him Doin A Funny#ka555n is just fun to say honestly. but he's the joker of the group so. obviously.#i VERY NEARLY went with etthuabrute for thua but i'd get eaten by thua stans lmao but i think i'm funny#findingnamo was a last minute stroke of exasperation. kid's a cartoon fish or something#i wanna wait for our skyy to incorporate potential uni stuff but i'm#1. not that patient and#2. have absolutely zero impulse control#anyway my period's nearly here and i'm emotional about everything rn so#thanks guys u rly made this old boy's day#about jay#mine: eclipse socials#so it is decreed#but i am putting an absurd amount of thought into other things#kan has more followers than anyone. he also posts constantly. about everything.#akk has the least followers because he barely actually uses the thing and is mainly a lurker on his friends' profiles#like an overbearing parent#wat gets photo credit on half of everybody's posts#which is fun because wat's ig is probably going to be full of photos of everyone else#alksjdfas anyway more coming i promise
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I wanna go on record saying I very much dislike Nickacado. He is loud, annoying, very stupid, and the video of him eating Chicken McNuggets from McDonalds and wasting all of it for his stupid gross tempertantrum tirades or whatever the fuck kinda toxic bullshit him and Orlin do made me so viscerally upset and angry while I was high, I don’t think I can forgive him he crossed a line so personal to me that he ain’t comin back
#like fr fr#this is ok to reblog cuz i really don't care#but if u stan him and this bothers u either block or ignore me whatever lmaaooo#like fr wasting food is a mortal fucking sin imo#im not talking about u ate 2 bites of ur regular meal and threw it out#I'm talking the fact he buys like 5-6 fucking chicken sandwiches and lets them all fall on the floor#or he does gross shit with it and makes it inedible#it makes my OCD hellbrain go absolutely nuts#'well Sarah why do you watch him?'#first of all#I am shown him against my will on all website newsfeeds for whatever reason#I also like to watch youtube poops of him because they are all artfully made and very fucking funny#nickacado is a crook is a fucking masterpiece#so is nickacado's super scooter special#but anyways like#the clips they get of him he's wasting the food and it just makes me so angry#and all he does is scream and cry like a giant baby like grow the fuck up lmao#put your big boy pants on stop shitting your pants
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as my first tumblr post here after struggling with the theme codes for a bit bc im dumb as fuck i will proceed to make a long ass rant in the tags
#i am absolutely ashamed of how i got so used to twitter that i feel wtf @ tumblr's blog syste#BITCH I HAVENT FINISHED TYPING WHAT THE FUCK#ok anyway i used to be a tumblr kid but now.... i am but a simple twitter migrant#decided to finally pay attention to my blogs despite drawing only once every blue moon bc twitter seriously looks like its going to burn do#wn and i want to make sure im at least active here somehow before it actually fucking dies#fuck you melon usk i hope your ass catches on fire#so. i am now very kinda pissed bc i tried to separate everything from my art to my priv and oc stuff like how i did on twt but#TUMBLR'S SIDE BLOG SYSTEM IS WHAT THE FUCK#WE CANT LIKE OR REBLOG SHIT THERE?????#ok goodbye i am not making separate blogs for everything i am just going to suffer as i mash everything into one#also no privs here so time to air out my mental distress to the public just like i did when i was a wee 15 year old#i sure fucking hope no one reads this rant post bc i wouldnt want to read it myself
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