syomi

[syomi]

*taps mic* hello i am once again here to discuss the subversion of gendered tropes in the apothecary diaries when it comes to jinshi and maomaos growing romantic relationship and I'm surprised I didn't say this before bc its one of the most obvious examples but

can we talk about the way Jinshi just like... follows Maomao's lead? essentially. like not to say he doesn't take initiative or take charge of things but like.... can we talk about how he observes her (before she starts observing him too is what I'm referring to) and it's crucial to how he falls in love with her so much so that it's the one constant you see in official art; him watching her as shes inspecting plants, him literally following behind her. he learns from her not only about plants and poisons and medicine but about how to navigate the world outside of palace walls yk or how ppl outside the palace (esp women) live

and its so distinct bc usually in these historical dramas its always the WOMEN who learn from men. like its always the women who live sheltered lives and learn from men about the "real world"

jinshi is not afraid to be guided by her or learn from her, or even recognize that she may know more than him in certain situations, he values her intelligence even tho he's not only a man but a man of royal birth like literally who is doing it like him for real for real

[syomi]

I love them

[syomi]

worst thing about tumblr is the lack of chinese variety show fandom. yeah yeah c-dramas and actors but what about the mango tv stuff. what about detective academy. who can i talk to about my massive crush on guo wentao and pu yixing and qi sijun and zhou junwei and

[syomi]

Something fun about working on listening skills, compared to reading skills (at least if you read intensively a lot like I did), is how listening skills just 'get better' the more I do.

With reading, yes reading skills just 'got better' sometimes. But also whenever I intensively read I was looking up lots of words, seeing myself gradually learn those words and stop having to look them up, gradually seeing myself look up less words as I'd get through a novel. Then starting a new novel, and looking more words up again etc. Or extensively reading, I'd see words I'd have to guess, and then over time less and less words I'd have to guess...

With listening skills for me, and this could be because I did a lot of the work on learning words in reading, I just listen more hours and... more becomes understandable.

It's wild to me. It's like I'm just leaving it to my brain to work out without me being involved conciously.

I barely looked up words in the last 50 hours of chinese listening, and even when I did look up words the first 150 hours I would look up 5 words every hour most of the time... no where close to the 60+ an hour I'd look up in intensive reading. A lot of this chinese listening improvement is just... listen more... and then a few hours later more becomes understandable to me. Bit by bit.

I wish I'd done so much listening years ago lol.

French is actually where I notice this 'listening just improves without conscious effort' more though.

Maybe it's because I'm not trying to work on it or improve it, and so any improvements shock me more. So back in December I listened to a couple episodes of Inner French podcast on youtube, understood the main idea but not all details so I gave a couple lessons 3 relistens, trying to get more details, only understanding a few more details per listen. I tried to listen to HP1 in French, only heard names, literally understood nothing else. (I also tried to listen to HP1 in Spanish and followed MUCH more like locations, uncle's job, names, some objects - despite me knowing barely any fucking Spanish, I think I could just parse how Spanish sounds better so I recognized more cognates).

March 2025 I try to listen to Inner French again, the same episodes as before, realize I understand almost all details of the same podcast episode I tried in December. I try finding a Dracula audiobook and instead find some guy's literary analysis of the novel, and understand the main ideas of what he's saying. I try to listen to Frankenstein audiobook in French, and I'm not quite getting it... but I'm noticing a lot of isolated words and phrases, locations, objects, I know based on how my Chinese listening improvement went that 20-50 more hours of listening and I might start clearly understanding some full sentences, some main ideas. I know, since I can read French, and based on how chinese listening has improved (which I could also read to a degree), that if I just keep listening to French I'll be able to understand the audiobook! I try to listen to a slow french news video for learners, it's easy to understand.

This is such a big deal because I BARELY interact with French. I've done like 4 hours listening total to French in the last 12 months. And just 4 hours of listening, my French listening comprehension is already WAY better than it was last year.

French reading was sort of similar... once I was like B1 at reading, at a point I could understand the main idea but not necessarily details of many things, I'd just pick up French books every few months and try to read. Eventually I understood many more details. Eventually I understood enough to be satisfied with my French reading. It was over like a 2 year period. I got to starting to read within 6 months, then stopped looking up words when reading in French after 1 year, then years 2 and 3 I just picked up random French books and websites and read stuff when I wanted to. I did not read much. I read for a few hours maybe, every few months. Eventually I could read my goal novels at home and just... stopped doing any intentional study. I did 2 cram study sessions, one in year 2 where I read Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature and a grammar website for French in French, and one in year 3 where I went through the Le Francais Par Le Methode audio files on youtube made by Ayan Academy. But even those were probably not more than 20 hours each, max. My reading skills just... kind of got better, without me paying much attention, as I kept reading every once in a while.

I do have my Google account in french, so my sites using Google's language are in french. so my search results are in french, wikipedia is in french, and Linkedin which I rarely use is in french. So I do have some tiny daily exposure to... I guess not forget how to read. I definitely think I would have lost my French reading ability if I didn't have that small amount of regular exposure. And I still need 2 ish hours of reading in French when I start a novel to 'get back' my rusty memory. But I am not doing a lot to study French.

It's wild to me my French listening skills are improving at all. Especially with so little listening practice. I find it fascinating and odd.

I do wonder if somehow working on improving listening skills in one language, improves your listening skills in another?

At the end of year 2 of studying French, I studied Spanish pronunciation for a summer so I could mentally read the words differently when reading Spanish versus French, since I'd get the languages confused a lot when reading. I also listened to a little Coffee Break French podcast at that time, to clarify the different sounds of the different languages to myself. All that study on Spanish pronunciation did improve my French listening comprehension a little...

[syomi]

Something fun about working on listening skills, compared to reading skills (at least if you read intensively a lot like I did), is how listening skills just 'get better' the more I do.

With reading, yes reading skills just 'got better' sometimes. But also whenever I intensively read I was looking up lots of words, seeing myself gradually learn those words and stop having to look them up, gradually seeing myself look up less words as I'd get through a novel. Then starting a new novel, and looking more words up again etc. Or extensively reading, I'd see words I'd have to guess, and then over time less and less words I'd have to guess...

With listening skills for me, and this could be because I did a lot of the work on learning words in reading, I just listen more hours and... more becomes understandable.

It's wild to me. It's like I'm just leaving it to my brain to work out without me being involved conciously.

I barely looked up words in the last 50 hours of chinese listening, and even when I did look up words the first 150 hours I would look up 5 words every hour most of the time... no where close to the 60+ an hour I'd look up in intensive reading. A lot of this chinese listening improvement is just... listen more... and then a few hours later more becomes understandable to me. Bit by bit.

I wish I'd done so much listening years ago lol.

French is actually where I notice this 'listening just improves without conscious effort' more though.

Maybe it's because I'm not trying to work on it or improve it, and so any improvements shock me more. So back in December I listened to a couple episodes of Inner French podcast on youtube, understood the main idea but not all details so I gave a couple lessons 3 relistens, trying to get more details, only understanding a few more details per listen. I tried to listen to HP1 in French, only heard names, literally understood nothing else. (I also tried to listen to HP1 in Spanish and followed MUCH more like locations, uncle's job, names, some objects - despite me knowing barely any fucking Spanish, I think I could just parse how Spanish sounds better so I recognized more cognates).

March 2025 I try to listen to Inner French again, the same episodes as before, realize I understand almost all details of the same podcast episode I tried in December. I try finding a Dracula audiobook and instead find some guy's literary analysis of the novel, and understand the main ideas of what he's saying. I try to listen to Frankenstein audiobook in French, and I'm not quite getting it... but I'm noticing a lot of isolated words and phrases, locations, objects, I know based on how my Chinese listening improvement went that 20-50 more hours of listening and I might start clearly understanding some full sentences, some main ideas. I know, since I can read French, and based on how chinese listening has improved (which I could also read to a degree), that if I just keep listening to French I'll be able to understand the audiobook! I try to listen to a slow french news video for learners, it's easy to understand.

This is such a big deal because I BARELY interact with French. I've done like 4 hours listening total to French in the last 12 months. And just 4 hours of listening, my French listening comprehension is already WAY better than it was last year.

French reading was sort of similar... once I was like B1 at reading, at a point I could understand the main idea but not necessarily details of many things, I'd just pick up French books every few months and try to read. Eventually I understood many more details. Eventually I understood enough to be satisfied with my French reading. It was over like a 2 year period. I got to starting to read within 6 months, then stopped looking up words when reading in French after 1 year, then years 2 and 3 I just picked up random French books and websites and read stuff when I wanted to. I did not read much. I read for a few hours maybe, every few months. Eventually I could read my goal novels at home and just... stopped doing any intentional study. I did 2 cram study sessions, one in year 2 where I read Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature and a grammar website for French in French, and one in year 3 where I went through the Le Francais Par Le Methode audio files on youtube made by Ayan Academy. But even those were probably not more than 20 hours each, max. My reading skills just... kind of got better, without me paying much attention, as I kept reading every once in a while.

I do have my Google account in french, so my sites using Google's language are in french. so my search results are in french, wikipedia is in french, and Linkedin which I rarely use is in french. So I do have some tiny daily exposure to... I guess not forget how to read. I definitely think I would have lost my French reading ability if I didn't have that small amount of regular exposure. And I still need 2 ish hours of reading in French when I start a novel to 'get back' my rusty memory. But I am not doing a lot to study French.

It's wild to me my French listening skills are improving at all. Especially with so little listening practice. I find it fascinating and odd.

I do wonder if somehow working on improving listening skills in one language, improves your listening skills in another?

At the end of year 2 of studying French, I studied Spanish pronunciation for a summer so I could mentally read the words differently when reading Spanish versus French, since I'd get the languages confused a lot when reading. I also listened to a little Coffee Break French podcast at that time, to clarify the different sounds of the different languages to myself. All that study on Spanish pronunciation did improve my French listening comprehension a little...

[syomi]

researching testimonials on extensive reading for beginners, bookmarks

ok so i needed testimonials for inspiration when starting the purist dreaming spanish method, and now i need things for reading. this is all cherry-picked with love 🍒❤️

r/DS thread

science behind extensive reading

three-part thread (note: intensive, with anki)

r/languagelearning thread

r/languagelearning thread

r/DS

r/DS thread

[syomi]

[syomi]

I don't think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn't only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans' facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors' homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going "I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun", and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it's because one's palms and feet aren't exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn't bathe.

[syomi]

THE APOTHECARY DIARIES

[syomi]

So I'm not dying on this hill or anything but I do appreciate the fact that Maomao is recognized in the story as looking young and being small. Feels like every anime girl has massive eyes and a baby face, but unlike most anime girls, Maomao's appearance plays a role in her life, and even poses challenges to her. I'm not just talking about her freckles; it feels like people tend to underestimate her intelligence and drive because she is small and looks young. She has a hard time winning the respect she wants and needs. She can't wield sex appeal to get what she wants, the way some other women can. She's got nothing going for her but her brains, her determination, her acting skills, and sometimes the influence of a man who takes her side.

[syomi]

gojo + somnophilia - mdni

long fingers ghost over your hips, the dip of your waist. gojo can tell you tried to stay up for him by the abandoned mug of tea on the nightstand, and the grin that breaks out on his tired face shines through the darkness of your shared bedroom.

you’re so pretty like this, face softened in sleep, lips jutting out in a cute little pout. you always sleep on top of the covers, your limbs inevitably shirking the blankets down to your ankles. right now, you’re dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of panties. his mouth fucking waters.

he’s hard before he has time to process it.

waking you up with his mouth is one of his more frequent fantasies when he’s away from you like this, but he’s never had a chance to try it.

he noses at your pussy through your underwear and the scent of you blooms on his tongue before he’s even had a taste. he groans against you. your hips shift and he smirks; you’re always so responsive, even like this.

he spreads your thighs apart, calloused fingertips soothing over your hips.

“waited all week for this, angel.” through the fabric, he laves his tongue over your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth. he does this slowly until he hears your breath hitch. you’re starting to rouse, your eyelids flickering in sleep.

he pulls your panties to the side, soaking in the sight of you. “fuckin’ gorgeous,” he says, before delving his tongue into your pussy. you always taste so good here, so salty and sweet that he can’t help burying his face in.

“toru?” your voice is hazy with sleep even as your hips rock against his face. “oh. oh fuck, toruuuu…”

“hi baby.” he pulls away from your pussy to grin at you, chin shiny with your arousal. “she missed me, didn’t she? easy for me to tell, since she’s already cryin’ on my tongue.”

[syomi]

Mini rant about "learning through comprehensible input" and the many situations it's used to mean somewhat different things:

In traditional language learning, using classrooms and textbooks, grammar guides and flashcards: comprehensible input are the dialogues/paragraphs in your textbook that you get a vocabulary translation list for and grammar explanations for so you can comprehend it. It can also be tutoring sessions, where you talk with the tutor and they use translations and gestures and visuals to make sure you can understand them. Once you reach a decent level of understanding the language, comprehensible input becomes any regular material for native speakers you can understand the main idea of (or more). So if someone who took classes for years is telling you to immerse in materials for native speakers, they probably assume you have some prior knowledge about the language and can understand the materials for native speakers to a degree. If a teacher is recommending you immerse in the language, they probably mean to immerse with content that uses words/situations you've studied in class at some point. These people do NOT mean for a brand new beginner, who knows nothing, to just go sit and watch movies for adults in the target language and magically learn over time.

In Refold/Mass Immersion Approach community, online communities where the study method involves a lot of flashcards/anki/SRS/apps with vocabulary/making word or sentence lists with translations: when they say comprehensible input, they mean material you can understand the main idea of, with the help of looking up word translations and grammar! They usually expect you will at least look up some key words once in a while, or immerse with stuff that uses words you've recently studied (in anki). When they say "immerse a lot and often" sometimes they do mean to immerse with input you do NOT understand, but when they're saying to get mostly comprehensible input, they mean either stuff made for learners to be understandable OR you using tools like word translation to be able to understand the material. There are people who did try to immerse with input they did not understand (maybe because they didn't understand the advice to immerse in materials for native speakers), without looking up words or using any tools to help them understand, and thousands of hours later they still were beginners. The people who successfully have used anki and immersion to learn a language, usually mean using immersion material that you can comprehend the main idea of (with tools/aids if necessary like word translations or word definitions in the target language). Notice that for these learners, comprehensible input MAY NOT BE comprehensible if you're relying on ONLY what you already know, and may require TOOLS to be comprehensible. They're expecting you to USE TOOLS to make the input comprehensible! (Flashcards, definition lookups in target language, word translation lookups, grammar explanation lookups).

Comprehensible Input Method/Automatic Language Growth/Nature Method Learners: By comprehensible input, they mean only materials you can understand the main idea of (without needing tools/aids). This will initially be materials MADE FOR LEARNERS, like the Nature Method textbooks with illustrations to explain the meaning, and Comprehensible Input lessons on youtube where the teacher shows you pictures and uses gestures to communicate the main idea. Then the materials may be graded readers made with a vocabulary a learner is expected to know, and possibly a vocabulary list in the back. And podcasts for learners, that use a limited number of words they expect the learner to know and define new words. Eventually, this can mean cartoons for toddlers where the visuals about what is being said, in addition to the words you already know, makes the main idea understandable. Then eventually cartoons for older kids, and shows, novels for kids, and novels for adults, etc as you learn more words and understand more (without needing tools/aid). So the key here, is this kind of learner usually means MATERIALS you can understand without any tools! This is a huge difference from the Refold learners, who often mean comprehensible input as ANY input if you're using enough tools TO comprehend it.

ALL of these learners usually mean, by comprehensible input, materials you can understand the main idea of - with or without tools. If you cannot understand the main idea - use tools! If you can understand the main idea, cool, you comprehend it enough to learn from it! None of these learners are trying to suggest beginners trying to learn a target language just listen to adult radio in the TL for 2000 hours and somehow 'learn.' All of these learners think a beginner NEEDS either a lot of visuals to allow for understanding (comprehensible input lessons, nature method), so the learning aid is built INTO the materials initially. Or these learners think beginners NEED to use tools to make materials understandable (translations, dictionary entries, anki to memorize words, textbooks), to be able to learn from materials. In either case, the advice to use comprehensible input assumes you are comprehending the main idea being conveyed in the material, and if needed you're using additional tools/aids/resources to figure out the main idea being conveyed.

There's a guy on youtube who keeps making these videos about using input to learn japanese, and I overall agree with him. But he only mentions a few times he uses anki to study (so uses tools to understand more), and he learned a decent number of words before using audio-only as input to study with (so he could comprehend the main idea to a degree), and the impression I get from comments is that some people sincerely think he's saying to listen to regular japanese materials for adults for thousands of hours and that itself will be enough to learn. I don't think he necessarily makes it clear how much initially VISUAL input is better if someone is going to just watch materials in japanese, how much his explicit study with anki may be increasing what he can comprehend, and how much using materials-made-for-learners works better in the beginning (he does recommend learner podcasts like Nihongo Con Teppei and Learn Japanese with Shun). I think the guy's heart is in the right place, and he's got good advice. I just get frustrated with how MANY people are misunderstanding his advice. Especially beginners, who may think when he says immerse in content you only understand 10% of... he is assuming the beginner is looking up key words, and making new anki cards of words they're hearing to study more.

As a learner... please don't bash your head into content you don't understand the main idea of for hundreds of hours. I am begging you, do something like look for materials MADE FOR LEARNERS to be understandable (comprehensible input lessons, graded readers, textbooks, sentences with translations, dialogues, or even cartoons with clear visuals about what is going on), or USE SOME TOOLS to make things understandable to you! Please...

[syomi]

Mini rant about "learning through comprehensible input" and the many situations it's used to mean somewhat different things:

In traditional language learning, using classrooms and textbooks, grammar guides and flashcards: comprehensible input are the dialogues/paragraphs in your textbook that you get a vocabulary translation list for and grammar explanations for so you can comprehend it. It can also be tutoring sessions, where you talk with the tutor and they use translations and gestures and visuals to make sure you can understand them. Once you reach a decent level of understanding the language, comprehensible input becomes any regular material for native speakers you can understand the main idea of (or more). So if someone who took classes for years is telling you to immerse in materials for native speakers, they probably assume you have some prior knowledge about the language and can understand the materials for native speakers to a degree. If a teacher is recommending you immerse in the language, they probably mean to immerse with content that uses words/situations you've studied in class at some point. These people do NOT mean for a brand new beginner, who knows nothing, to just go sit and watch movies for adults in the target language and magically learn over time.

In Refold/Mass Immersion Approach community, online communities where the study method involves a lot of flashcards/anki/SRS/apps with vocabulary/making word or sentence lists with translations: when they say comprehensible input, they mean material you can understand the main idea of, with the help of looking up word translations and grammar! They usually expect you will at least look up some key words once in a while, or immerse with stuff that uses words you've recently studied (in anki). When they say "immerse a lot and often" sometimes they do mean to immerse with input you do NOT understand, but when they're saying to get mostly comprehensible input, they mean either stuff made for learners to be understandable OR you using tools like word translation to be able to understand the material. There are people who did try to immerse with input they did not understand (maybe because they didn't understand the advice to immerse in materials for native speakers), without looking up words or using any tools to help them understand, and thousands of hours later they still were beginners. The people who successfully have used anki and immersion to learn a language, usually mean using immersion material that you can comprehend the main idea of (with tools/aids if necessary like word translations or word definitions in the target language). Notice that for these learners, comprehensible input MAY NOT BE comprehensible if you're relying on ONLY what you already know, and may require TOOLS to be comprehensible. They're expecting you to USE TOOLS to make the input comprehensible! (Flashcards, definition lookups in target language, word translation lookups, grammar explanation lookups).

Comprehensible Input Method/Automatic Language Growth/Nature Method Learners: By comprehensible input, they mean only materials you can understand the main idea of (without needing tools/aids). This will initially be materials MADE FOR LEARNERS, like the Nature Method textbooks with illustrations to explain the meaning, and Comprehensible Input lessons on youtube where the teacher shows you pictures and uses gestures to communicate the main idea. Then the materials may be graded readers made with a vocabulary a learner is expected to know, and possibly a vocabulary list in the back. And podcasts for learners, that use a limited number of words they expect the learner to know and define new words. Eventually, this can mean cartoons for toddlers where the visuals about what is being said, in addition to the words you already know, makes the main idea understandable. Then eventually cartoons for older kids, and shows, novels for kids, and novels for adults, etc as you learn more words and understand more (without needing tools/aid). So the key here, is this kind of learner usually means MATERIALS you can understand without any tools! This is a huge difference from the Refold learners, who often mean comprehensible input as ANY input if you're using enough tools TO comprehend it.

ALL of these learners usually mean, by comprehensible input, materials you can understand the main idea of - with or without tools. If you cannot understand the main idea - use tools! If you can understand the main idea, cool, you comprehend it enough to learn from it! None of these learners are trying to suggest beginners trying to learn a target language just listen to adult radio in the TL for 2000 hours and somehow 'learn.' All of these learners think a beginner NEEDS either a lot of visuals to allow for understanding (comprehensible input lessons, nature method), so the learning aid is built INTO the materials initially. Or these learners think beginners NEED to use tools to make materials understandable (translations, dictionary entries, anki to memorize words, textbooks), to be able to learn from materials. In either case, the advice to use comprehensible input assumes you are comprehending the main idea being conveyed in the material, and if needed you're using additional tools/aids/resources to figure out the main idea being conveyed.

There's a guy on youtube who keeps making these videos about using input to learn japanese, and I overall agree with him. But he only mentions a few times he uses anki to study (so uses tools to understand more), and he learned a decent number of words before using audio-only as input to study with (so he could comprehend the main idea to a degree), and the impression I get from comments is that some people sincerely think he's saying to listen to regular japanese materials for adults for thousands of hours and that itself will be enough to learn. I don't think he necessarily makes it clear how much initially VISUAL input is better if someone is going to just watch materials in japanese, how much his explicit study with anki may be increasing what he can comprehend, and how much using materials-made-for-learners works better in the beginning (he does recommend learner podcasts like Nihongo Con Teppei and Learn Japanese with Shun). I think the guy's heart is in the right place, and he's got good advice. I just get frustrated with how MANY people are misunderstanding his advice. Especially beginners, who may think when he says immerse in content you only understand 10% of... he is assuming the beginner is looking up key words, and making new anki cards of words they're hearing to study more.

As a learner... please don't bash your head into content you don't understand the main idea of for hundreds of hours. I am begging you, do something like look for materials MADE FOR LEARNERS to be understandable (comprehensible input lessons, graded readers, textbooks, sentences with translations, dialogues, or even cartoons with clear visuals about what is going on), or USE SOME TOOLS to make things understandable to you! Please...

[syomi]

I felt sick because I could easily tell the emperor was a pedo from his behavior. I loved Anshi's anger so much and the complexities of their family. I felt the author respected and represented actual SA, pedophile and how people reacted to their stressful environment like the royal palace. Anshi's perspective is a breath of fresh air. She felt like a person.

Episode 9 of season 2? Fucking delicious man. Fantastic, it was well done, it was horrifying and I EAT THAT SHIT UP.

Spoilers and warnings for what I'm about to say: (cw: Pedophilia, sexual assault.)

Lovelies, it's here. The exact episode I was waiting for.

Anshi being shown as a kid was heavy, her going to the emperor and asking if he was okay, becoming the only thing he could see... It was disgusting.

The former emperor was a weak and pathetic man who was controlled by his own mother, he couldn't talk with adult women, being touched by a woman would send him into a complete hysterical panic attack. He didn't have any power when he was around someone who was of age, but you know who he was able to talk to and had more power over?

The fact that we are told and shown that Anshi was not his only victim, that there was someone before her but because she gave birth to a girl she was completely ignored and the baby was given to someone else to take the fall. That because Anshi gave birth to a boy the empress recognized the baby as her grandson should probably give you an idea of how strong her hold on the throne actually was and how many of her decisions ended up affecting not only our main characters, or even just the royal family... But also the populace.

They sent CHILDREN just to cater to the emperor's tastes, not caring about them as children but as bargaining chips for power.

And Anshi, someone who was also sent for this reason loathed this, the moment she lost her young child face, the way we see her grow into an adult and not look like a little girl anymore only to be discarded by the man who abused her and look for smaller and younger girls than her, the complete fucking disgrace of being treated as a disposable object was more than enough to break her.

And in a horrifying move, the cycle repeats through her forcing herself on the pathetic man who raped her, the reason she had to be cut open to deliver a baby, the reason she was sold off for power, to burn herself into his memory, to not let HIM forget the pain and trauma he made her go through. (And in a way, she succeeded.)

No wonder the empress had no love for her own flesh and blood when he was born, but the baby another concubine gave birth to during the same day, the one who was not a product of her own assault on that man but rather came from her actual son and his lover? She could give him all the love he needed while the son she couldn't love could get all he needed from Ah-Duo.

And the more little Jinshi grew and started to resemble his grandfather, the more Anshi felt the need for him to not resemble HIM.

Any thing he had an attachment towards had to be taken away, in an attempt to make him grow up and not become the same monster her abuser was, for Jinshi to be able to be strong and resilient. A different type of abuse born out of the scars of a woman who was left traumatized, but unlike the former emperor you can see he does hold love for her as his mother, that while being able to hide his own childish tendencies he's able to stand up on his own feet and retain a face of serenity right in front of danger and will actively protect that which is dear to him. That's the type of man he would become, and he doesn't hold this against her, recognizing her pain and love at the same time.

We can also see how the current emperor was affected by this, knowing his mother was young when she had him and how he himself avoids turning into the same person by choosing women who are actually of age and more developed in the chest area. He would never make the same mistakes his father committed but he would still listen to the women in his life and take their advice.

It says a lot about how much the actions of the former emperor and his mother have affected their family, and while there's still a lot more to learn about them and understand about, the ghosts of their actions will continue to haunt them and no amount of context will actually fix the pain they have already inflicted upon others.

[syomi]

3 adult JinMao fic reccs from ao3 😈💚

(I was like. Slowburn is too slow, give me the goods xD so I found a few v delicious meals). All of these are explicit rating so pls read accordingly.

A Work Interruption —Maomao is working on an aphrodisiac and needs some HELP from Jinshi in his office >:3

We come undone without our pride — more aphrodisiacs, but this time it’s JinMao with plant tentacles :3

Quality Control — this one was cool bc it’s Ace Maomao giving Jinshi pleasure (and the strap 😌) without having to interact sexually herself. Very fun dynamic to read.

[syomi]

Let's suppose you want to learn Chinese mainly to read webnovels (or other reading material).

Now, personally, I recommend some study of pronunciation like pinyin, and watching some videos or reading some articles on tones and tone sandhi, grammar, hanzi and hanzi structure. Because at some point you'll probably want to listen too, speak too. So you know - use other resources to study the other skills! If you plan to do anything besides read eventually. Also, I think some pronunciation study actually helped me with remembering hanzi (the sound components in them) and reading skill.

But lets suppose you're studying mainly so you can read webnovels. Which is what I did in my first year. And you can set a goal to start reading webnovels within a year. For some people it takes as little as 3 months to start reading webnovels, for others like me it took around 6 months to start reading webnovels and 12 months to feel comfortable.

Download Pleco app and Readibu app. These apps will be your best friends. Pleco app is a dictionary tool so you can look up unknown chinese words, and it's Clipboard Reader area is where you can paste any chinese text into and then click-translate any words. I recommend the first time you look up any word, you press the dictate/speaker tool so you can hear how it's pronounced. You can save words in Pleco and study them using Pleco's built in SRS flashcards if you wish. Mainly though, the important part is using Pleco to look up words, read example sentences, and to use the Clipboard Reader area to read any Chinese text you find online. Pleco has an area to purchase graded readers, these will probably be some of the first things you read (if you choose to use paid resources). Readibu app is a click-translation Reader app for Chinese, you can browse the app for webnovels, or you can go to the Search area and paste in a url of a chinese webnovel, then Readibu will say it's not in the database so click 'search with Google' then you'll see the url as a result and click it, then bookmark the webnovel page in Readibu. From there you can click the open book icon on any webnovel, and it will make it just click-translate text and provide you the Readibu app features. Once you're reading a lot of webnovels, you may wish to use Readibu to read, for some people it will be more convenient than Pleco for going chapter by chapter.

Make a plan to start studying hanzi. I recommend you focus on the most common 1000-2000 chinese words, or the HSK 4 vocabulary, or both. The goal here is to get your vocabulary and hanzi recognition around HSK 4 level. I used this book (Tuttle Learning Chinese Characters: (HSK Levels 1 -3) A Revolutionary New Way to Learn and Remember the 800 Most Basic Chinese Characters) because it just clicked with me, I just read through it over a few months. You can use SRS flashcards (like Anki or Pleco) collections that people have made (I recommend this Mnemonics Simplified Hanzi Deck, or Mnemonics Traditional Hanzi Deck). For common words, I recommend Spoonfed Chinese anki deck (note it has some mistakes but I like that it has audio and sentence examples), but there's a ton of anki decks and common word frequency lists (you can genuinely just study a list) just pick a resource you like with either 2000 common words or HSK 4 vocabulary. Literally just pick any study materials where you can learn roughly 1000 common hanzi and 1000 common words or more. Whatever materials work for you. Study however you want - some people find anki flashcards useful (I just cram studied 1000 words for a few weeks each then never looked at anki again), some find books useful, some find textbooks useful, some use vocabulary lists, some use videos, just pick something. Your goal is going to be to study these words/hanzi in 3-6 months. 8-10 months if you want to wait to read longer, or need more time to study. I studied 800 hanzi in the book I linked for the first 3 months, then 1000 words the next month, then 1000 words the next month, then about 500 more hanzi the next month. It is okay to cram study! It is okay to not memorize these hanzi and words! Just get a basic familiarity! You are going to fully learn these common hanzi and words when you READ later.

As you are studying common hanzi and words, start reading a grammar guide if you would like some knowledge of grammar. Or watch some grammar videos on youtube, whatever clicks best with you. Basic Patterns of Chinese Grammar is a good grammar guide summary book, AllSetLearning Chinese Grammar Wiki is an excellent website you can read. I read another grammar guide summary, the website no longer exists. Again, do not try to memorize and drill this stuff, just go through it and get a basic familiarity. You can move on if a particular grammar point makes no sense right now. Learn about grammar the same time you're studying hanzi and common words, so the first 3-6 months.

Okay it's been 3 months! You know some hanzi (maybe 50-500), you know some words (maybe 50-1000 depending on how intensely you've been studying)! Start reading! You're going to start with Graded Readers, which are reading material made for learners. Heavenly Path's Comprehensive Reading Guide suggests some free graded reader resources in the Below 1000 characters section. I used Mandarin Companion Graded Readers and other graded readers I could purchase in Pleco. Mandarin Companion has some graded readers with 50 unique characters. I started with some Pleco graded readers that had 300 unique characters, then moved up to graded readers with 500-800 unique characters. Read graded readers! Reread them! Look up any words you don't know (using Pleco or something else). Listen to the pronunciation of any new words. If reading in Pleco, you can use the Dictation tool to hear the sentences read aloud. When using graded readers in general, use any audiobooks that accompany them. Mostly though just read, read, read, and look up anything you want. Look up grammar points in something like AllSetLearning Chinese Grammar Wiki if you are now starting to see some grammar that confuses you while reading. The reading practice is what is going to teach you the words you've been studying in other materials.

Now it's been 6 months. You've been working your way through graded readers of increasing unique character count (and are now reading graded readers of at least 800 unique characters or more). You've been working your way through studying common hanzi and words, and now have studied at least 1000 words or more. (If you cram like I did, you probably have studied over 2000 words but only the 800-1000 words in your graded reading material have been 'fully learned' and the other words you studied are only vaguely familiar, this is perfectly fine). Go to Heavenly Path and start reading the stuff they recommend for people who know 1000-2000 characters. I think @秃秃大王 by 张天翼 is perfect for people who know around 1000 characters to start with. You can keep reading some graded readers like those that go up to 1500-2000 unique characters if you'd like, but start trying to read novels for native speakers too. Again, I recommend anything in the easiest 'recommendations' from Heavenly Path's recommendation list of webnovels, a lot of novels for children will be perfect at this point. You'll gradually work on increasing the unique characters of your reading materials. Read in Pleco or Readibu so you can use the click-translate tool. To find webnovels online, paste or type the chinese name of the novel (and author if you know it), and then 'zaixian yuedu' like this '秃秃大王 张天翼 在线阅读'. It is very easy to find novels online in chinese.

From here you just continue reading more difficult novels! Go at the pace you choose! Once you're reading stuff with 2000 unique characters, then if you wish you can stop studying hanzi and common words outside of just looking them up in reading. You can of course continue to study hanzi and words outside of reading. But if you'd rather just learn words by looking them up as you read, you can start doing that as soon as you switch to novels for native speakers (1000-2000 characters). Congrats, you are reading webnovels!

Some people start reading webnovels within a few months, and you can start with a higher unique character count if you wish. Such as starting with MoDaoZuShi or Zhenhun or SaYe as soon as you go from graded readers to regular novels. The difficulty curve will be a lot steeper, and you'll be looking up a LOT of words for a while. But other people have done it. I started reading webnovels around 6 months, after doing graded readers for a while, and it took picking several easier and harder reading materials until I found a comfortable reading level to continue from.

So it boils down to: start studying very common words and hanzi (a list, a book, anki, whatever works for you, and you don't have to memorize just get some Exposure some Basic Familiarity), read about grammar if you wish (again just get some Basic Familiarity so later if you need to look up a grammar point in depth as you read, you know what to look up), and START READING ASAP. Use Pleco and Readibu to read with click-translations of words. Start with graded reader materials, then as soon as you can tolerate move on to novels for native speakers. Heavenly Path's website is a great resource for finding reading material at your level if you have no idea what to pick and don't want to trial and error different webnovels until something is doable. For anyone who finds sounds help with memory (like me) or who plan to eventually learn to listen to chinese, listen to the pronunciation of any new words when you look them up. If you watch cdramas, cdramas often have chinese subtitles on them, those can be good practice for reading as well.

You can start reading within a year. You can read graded readers within a few months, as soon as you feel it's tolerable. And then you can just learn new words BY reading, review words you've looked up before BY reading, review grammar BY reading, and work your way up to reading whatever webnovels you want. I find learning words BY reading much easier for myself, doing what I want to do in the language as I'm learning to read, much easier to stick to and enjoy than anki flashcards or word lists or textbooks. So from me, the suggestion to push yourself to read graded readers ASAP is so you can get to the part of learning BY reading quicker.

[syomi]

the sun is my favorite butch and the moon my favorite femme, how blessed am i to see them both on my morning commute