#am i going to post it anyway even though it's incoherent? absolutely

[valancedbreakfast]

I've been stuck in waiting mode unable to thinking about anything other than totk for a bit and just found this post linked from your more recent post and it got me digging into hyrule history nonsense to refresh myself.

I've got two minor corrections and then I'll get to my actual point.

1) Twilight Princess takes place in the child timeline not the adult timeline. More on that in a bit since it relates to something I want to say that I've not seen anyone talking about.

2) Phantom Ganondorf in OoT does have a sword pong segment. After you get him off his horse he floats around overhead and you play pong to get him down.

But that's just small corrections, my main point follows after some extra history nonsense I want to lay down that it feels like a lot of ppl haven't thought about.

So there's the whole confusing timetravelling nonsense of skyward sword that boils down to the three golden goddesses departed from the world leaving behind the goddess hylia as protector of the triforce. Demon King Demise wants the triforce for mandatory evil purposes. Timeywhimey shenanigans and Hylia reincarnated as Zelda and her chosen hero Link manage to defeat Demise and seal him in the Master Sword, but not before her sets a curse in play that kickstarts our whole cycle. Link and Zelda are cursed to reincarnate and an incarnation of Demise's hatred (later come to be know as Ganon) will forever follow them.

Okay, so time goes on and things happen and eventually Link and Zelda are reincarnated into what will be the Ocarina of Time portion of the timeline. Demise's hatred is also present here in the form of Ganondorf, the Gerudo King of Thieves. He hatches a plot to claim the triforce for himself yet again but it's long since been kept in the Sacred Realm for safety. More time shenanigans occur and Ganondorf manages to get the triforce but it splits and he only keeps part of it while the other two pieces go to Link and Zelda. And then our timeline is gonna get all kinds of fucked up because believe it or not, the zelda team didn't intend for every game in the series to be a cohesive timeline from the beginning and what we know as the timeline now is just the best they could come up with to fit all these games together. So anyway, we get three timelines from here depending on the outcome of Ocarina of Time, and this is where all of this comes to my actual point:

Fallen Hero Timeline: Link is defeated, Ganondork becomes Ganon, claims the full triforce and is super powerful. The sages seal him in the sacred realm which her corrupts into the dark world and that leads to A Link to the Past and other games. The thing is, GANONDORF is never seen again in this timeline. Ganon the boar demon king is revived time and time again by various means, but the Gerudo form is just gone.

Young Link Timeline: Link and Zelda defeat Ganondorf who has given up his Gerudo form to become pig boy Ganon. But then Zelda sends Link back in time to when he was a child before the events of the game. He tattles on Ganondorf and Ganondorf is arrested. That same Ganondorf is then banished to the Twilight Realm for his crimes. This of course leads to Twilight Princess where Ganondorf finds his way back to Hyrule. They just straight up kill him. And then later he's reincarnated and gets sealed into the Four Sword.

Adult Link Timeline: This one is honestly just weird. So Link and Zelda seal Ganon, but then since Link is sent back in time, it effectively leaves this timeline without the Spirit of the Hero. So when Ganondorf inevitably breaks free and tries to take over Hyrule again, like... there's just no hero to stop him. So the golden goddesses (who like... weren't even meant to be here anymore?) flood the whole world and we get Wind Waker. But all this does is mean Ganondorf can't get the triforce. He's still just kicking around and plotting and the Ganondorf we see in Wind Waker is literally the same guy from Ocarina of Time. The Hero of the Wind (who is literally just some kid, not a reincarnation of Link) fights his way through Ganondorfs minions and then just straight up kills Ganondorf. And then they go have a gremlin vacation and never come back. Like there's just no other instances of Demise or Ganon or Ganondorf in this timeline.

So anyway, my point was going to be that all the instances of Ganondorf we see are literally the same guy. But then in researching this I found out that he's randomly reincarnated for the Four Swords Adventures game? So like, I guess my whole theory is pointless. I was gonna be like, how did Ganondorf get under the castle and is all mummified and stuff. But I guess thanks to Four Swords Adventures we actually have precedence of there being more than one Ganondorf.

I guess that's my weird ramblings. I'ma go back to just staring at the wall and waiting for Tears of the Kingdom now.

what do u think totk is gonna b about

OH WOW I AM SO SO SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! HERES THE ESSAY I TOTALLY DID NOT HAVE PREWRITTEN ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!

so arguably the biggest mystery left unsolved at the end of botw is the origin of ganon as we now know him -- "calamity ganon." in all other games (and by extension all known previous incarnation cycles) where "ganon" was the primary antagonist (incl. all ganon and ganondorf variants) ganon was something real, physical, and ALIVE. a man or a boar-monster, usually, but always something that was bound by the laws of nature to some degree and could be physically killed. botw departs from that formula (and by extension botw's CYCLE departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--i'll come back to this point) by showing us a ganon that is far less human than any other known incarnation of demise. even in name, this incarnation of ganon is given no personhood--it's a calamity, a force of evil with no origin and no complex thought beyond a need for destruction.

The thing is, for all the game wants the player to understand this ganon as nothing but a mindless, monstrous force of evil, it also makes a point to identify this force as GANON, incarnation of demise. seasoned zelda fans will relate the calamity back to ganondorf the human king at the first mention of its name. anyone familiar with the cyclical lore or even just the basic formula of zelda games will recognize the cycle's steps being played out in such a way that the calamity plays the part of the king of evil. for those who don't make the immediate connection, urbosa's final line after the player frees her in vah naboris cements the calamity's former personhood: "it was written that calamity ganon once adopted the form of a gerudo." it's a deliberate hint to new players that the form we see ganon take in this game is not his true one.

So what is calamity ganon? what turned the newest human incarnation of demise so deeply inhuman? what happened to the human that calamity ganon once was? why, when the calamity struck, did it rise from underneath hyrule castle, with pillars full of armed guardians ready to aid it in its destruction? these questions are what i expect will be the main focus of totk. as for their answers, i only really have my own speculation, backed by some evidence from trailers and botw, which i'll outline now because that's the whole point of this post.

botw is 10k years removed from the last known instance of an incarnation cycle, a fact which is crucial to its story and worldbuilding. while there's no official source on how long periods of peace usually last between cycles, it's obvious from context that botw has gone much longer without a new cycle than any previous game before it, if only because of how much information about the cycle itself has clearly been lost to time. this lack of information is what causes a majority of the problems link and zelda face in botw. But it raises a question for those of us who follow the lore and have noticed the discrepancy: why was hyrule able to forget this information in the first place? Why was there such a long period of peace when the cycle ought to have continued? there's no other instance in centuries of documented hyrulian history where enough time passed between cycles for the idea of the TRIFORCE to be lost to time. how did it happen before botw? the answer, I think, lies with the hero and princess of 10k years ago.

there's a LOT we don't know about the hero and princess who came before botw, obviously. and I believe their story is going to be incredibly important in totk, given how it was teased in botw. we can assume, from context, that the incarnation of demise that this hero and princess went up against was the gerudo incarnation of ganon mentioned by urbosa. What botw tells us about this cycle is that ganon was powerful enough to need legions of guardians and four divine beasts ALONG with a presumably fully-realized hero and princess to defeat him, but that, with these resources, the hero and princess triumphed. what is not confirmed, however, is what exactly HAPPENED to ganon after his defeat. one could assume that he died, because hitting a human man with a sword enough times will usually kill him. however, there's another important piece to the puzzle when looking at loz cycles: zelda and her goddess power. the thing i'm going to be focusing on here is the fact that throughout botw zelda's power is referred to specifically as a "sealing power." it's significant to me that the concept of SEALING surivived when so many other crucial pieces of the cycle did not, because, in multiple previous games, "sealing" ganon does NOT mean he dies. in both oot timelines in which link DOES NOT return to the past at the end of the game (defeat & adult), the official explanation as to ganondorf's fate is that he is "sealed" in some form, either in the sacred realm or the twilight realm. (if you don't know what those are don't worry it's not important, what's important is that he is sealed.) alttp and twilight princess, follow the aftermath of these two timelines, in which ganon has been "sealed" but not killed. in both stories, ganon (specifically the SAME INCARNATION OF GANON AS OOT) eventually frees himself from the confines of the seal and continues to terrorize hyrule. so "sealing" is not necessarily synonymous with defeat or death, and it doesn't reset the incarnation cycle for demise's spirit, it just keeps the current incarnation dormant for a while.

i hear you saying, "blue, why the fuck does any of this matter? ive been reading for so long!" and i am sorry. i promise i will get there. the important point at this point is that SEALED does not mean DEAD or even DEFEATED, and that zelda's power in botw is exclusively referred to as a SEALING POWER. we can assume that this terminology is left over from the hero and princess from 10k years ago, because, by virtue of a 10k-year period of peace, most everything that botw hyrule remembers about the cycle appears to be left over from only that previous cycle. What this means is that, upon defeat 10k years ago, human ganon was not killed, he was sealed. and as i've already mentioned, there's a precedent in these games for a sealed ganon to come back to terrorize a new cycle's hero and princess. I think it's pretty obvious that the mummified gerudo skeleton seen in the totk trailers is that sealed ganon from 10k years ago. but those trailers take place AFTER link and zelda defeat calamity ganon in botw, so why is he still there, sealed but not dead?

the most obvious explanation to me is this: calamity ganon is not ganon. botw's blights give us proof that ganon is capable of somehow reproducing itself in smaller, less powerful doses to deal with immediate threats without having to leave its shelter in hyrule castle. if you recall, calamity ganon's first phase underneath hyrule castle is essentially a rehash of the blight fights, with ganon cycling through attacks previously used by its blights (and adding some new ones into the mix, obv.) One thing that struck me when fighting it, though, is that the fight lacks one signature mechanic that's been a staple of ganon battles in the zelda franchise since at least alttp: sword pong. in almost every game involving a fight with an incarnation of ganon, there's an attack pattern in which the player and ganon have to deflect a ball of energy between each other via their weapons until one of them eventually misses a swing and gets hit. calamity ganon doesn't have this attack in his arsenal, which is strange to me because it's an iconic move for loz final battles. the only ganon battle i can think of which DOESN'T involve this mechanic is oot's shadow ganondorf, a PROJECTION of ganondorf rather than the real thing.

can you see what i'm getting at here?

I don't think botw's link and zelda have gone up against their real incarnation of demise yet. I think the calamity was one of two things: either a genuine expression of rage/escape attempt by the sealed human ganon, or a calculated attempt by him to get modern hylians interested enough in the origins of the calamity to investigate and free him accidentally. The way the pillars rose from under hyrule castle, the fact that calamity ganon smashes through the floor of the sanctum and forces link to fight in that underground chamber, it all seems to beckon you to dig deeper. we know that that mummy is somewhere under the castle. Calamity ganon was a shootoff of its power meant to lead hylians to it. this is what i meant way back when i mentioned that botw's cycle departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--link and zelda haven't actually played out the full cycle at all. what they've done is essentially the precursor to the main event--they've defeated agahnim, or zant, or ghirahim, but the true evil of this cycle has yet to be revealed. to that point, it's worth noting that, excluding shrine mini-dungeons, botw has WAY less dungeons than your average zelda title. most new-cycle titles (by which i mean games that weren't direct sequels featuring the same incarnation of a given link) are divided into 2 sections of dungeoning - the first section having 3-4 dungeons containing prize items needed to unlock some late-game functionality, and the second half having 5-7 dungeons and being accessible only after the player has completed the first section. botw has four dungeons TOTAL (not counting hyrule castle), meaning formula-wise it's essentially the first half of a cycle. i believe totk is going to be the second half of this cycle, with link and zelda having to fight the true evil -- revitalized HUMAN ganondorf.

so now we need to bring this all back to my initial point--why was there a 10k-year period of peace pre-botw, and how does any of this effect my predictions for the story of totk?

in simple terms, i think that the reason there was such a long period of peace was because 10k-years-ago-princess sealed ganon REALLY well. she probably came the closest anyone in hyrule's history has ever come to a TRUE defeat of ganon, because she managed to keep him ALIVE so he wouldn't reincarnate and SEALED so he couldn't hurt anyone for a really long time. what this implies is that 10k-years-ago princess knew on some level about the reincarnation cycle. she understood that if she couldn't keep ganon alive and incapacitated, he would revive and the cycle would start over anyway, so she did everything in her power to stop that from happening, and she did a DAMN GOOD JOB tbh. better than anyone who tried this shit before her. there are other bits and pieces of botw's story that point to the hyrulean civilization 10k years ago understanding the potential of a ganon reincarnation, most notably the fact that they buried guardians and divine beasts seemingly purposefully for later hyruleans to find and use should a new threat ever arise. this implies that 10k-years-ago hyruleans had a REALLY HIGH level of awareness about the cycle, in direct contrast to modern hyrule's REALLY LOW understanding of it. this is really important when we start thinking about totk.

we already have a decent amount of evidence suggesting that totk will deal with the events of 10k years ago and the hero involved in them. In several trailers now we've seen modern link's arm become weirdly, creepily fused with/corrupted by the arm that was holding mummified ganon in place under the castle. i think this arm is going to serve two purposes in totk. the first is a practicality thing: from gameplay footage it looks like the arm is going to basically take the place of the sheikah slate. the second purpose i think it'll serve is to be link's (and by extension the player's) connection to the events of 10k years ago. I've seen plenty of theories thrown around about what the arm is, but my personal theory is that it's some sort of prosthetic or tech that originally belonged to the 10k-years-ago hero. the way it's holding mummified ganon in place in that first teaser trailer looks less to me like an evil influence and more like something physically holding ganon down; a seal of sorts. (and in most games both the hero and princess's power is needed to seal ganon, so perhaps this is how the hero and princess managed to keep him dormant for so long: adding a physical piece of the hero to the mix?) in any case, i think that after establishing this physical connection to the 10k-years-ago hero, modern link is going to get some knowledge and flashbacks (potentially in the form of memory-style cutscenes like botw) that will serve to basically fill in all the cyclical lore that has been lost in-universe over the past 10k years. I've talked at length about how i believe link and zelda's initial failure in botw was due entirely to their lack of knowledge of the hyrulean creation myth and the REASON behind the motions they were carrying out, and i believe that by witnessing the 10k-years-ago hero and princess's journey, modern link will be given the knowledge he needs to defeat ganon.

[tactfullyinappropriate]

This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.

In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.

It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.

Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.

Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.

Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.

All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':

"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."

Um. Yes, Sir.

*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.

[heartslobbf]

could you talk about food in rgu as a kind of symbol for incest? it doesn't have to be anything too coherent or anything i just loved that post and would like to hear a bit more abt it!

hello yes absolutely!!!!! i appreciate you enabling me to be incoherent because whilst i claim to be a writer, i am godawful at putting anything polished out thanks to my perfectionism. you do not want to see my rgu essay drafts.

anyway. food and incest in rgu. i made a post saying that every food item in rgu at least tangentially relates to the show's exploration of incestuous abuse and how that is directly enabled by the institution of family. underneath the cut im gonna talk about my favourite and most notable examples of this. note that i will be closely discussing examples of incestuous abuse and csa in rgu.

my big thesis on this topic stems from the fact that anthy can't cook but akio can. anthy is capable of making non-substantial food, and otherwise entirely incompetent in the kitchen. she can't really provide for herself, and thus is dependent on others (namely akio) to live. akio is an adult who prides himself on his supposed independence (note how that independence helps shape his americanised masculinity), and not only does he cook and therefore provide for anthy, later utena and nanami, but he's shown to be beyond competent in the kitchen. he bakes a cake in episode 30 which both utena and wakaba comment on as being impressive, and in episode 32 he makes a rose hip jam that suggests his culinary skills go beyond standard measures.

the family institution makes it incredibly difficult for people to leave abusive families, especially when they are children. the ability to feed oneself in rgu determines how stuck in ohtori's system a character is. wakaba, for instance, is presented as an amateurish cook, and despite having proximity to the duels and akio is never fully subsumed by them. saionji and tsuwabuki are probably the other characters most notable for culinary skills, and for both of them they are only ever shown preparing food for themselves or nanami. with tsuwabuki, this is another of his unintentionally sinister attempts to be close with nanami. he is essentially trying to make her depend upon him to live, but he's literally 10 and doesn't really understand the implications of what he's doing. he just wants to provide for her! saionji offers to make nanami eggs when he notices that she's distressed, and i think this gets at the nuance of dependence on others, and being a provider. namely, you will and should be dependent upon others to an extent. offering and accepting help alike is important. saionji offering to make nanami eggs is a nice and genuine moment between them, and is distinctly different from some other instances ive discussed because their relationship isn't abusive or toxic or pseudo-incestuous or whatever else.

i'd like to suggest that miki and kozue's milkshake is actually quite similar to the eggs, even though their relationship is both toxic and incestuous. when kozue asks miki for a milkshake at the end of episode 15, she's extending an olive branch. the milkshake is complicated undoubtedly, but i think it pretty effectively summarises the issues in their relationship a la purity and knowledge and independence. i would write more on this if i'd rewatched ep 15 recently but it's worth noting that the milkshake is textually childish and non-substantive, and that's why kozue initially rejects it whilst miki makes and drinks it.

my magnum opus of incestuous food is the shaved ice, which is kind of like saying the sky is blue. like gee i wonder why anthy tells nanami in episode 4 that mixing the red and yellow syrrups together tastes so good like i just cant work it out its too subtle as utena always is. and of course the shaved ice reprises in episodes 31 and 32, or as i like to call them, Hey Check Out This Show's Thesis On Incestuous Abuse. dont think i need to explain whats going on when anthy feeds akio shaved ice in front of nanami and theyre both horribly uncomfortably coy and flirtatious the whole time. i definitely think theres something in anthy's shaved ice facilitating incestuous implications in all its appearances, but im not sure what. the ice isnt about forcing people to depend upon their family members, it's childish and indulgent and there's certainly something in that which relates to anthy. i actually have a lot of thoughts about anthy's perception of incest, namely because she loves to make jokes about it and all of them make me very sad. all instances of shaved ice are about taunting nanami, also. lots of thoughts here.

final big cornerstone in food = incest relates to a throwaway moment at the start of ep 11 where utena reveals that she intended to eat a single pre-packaged piece of convenience food for lunch, and wakaba and anthy both provide elaborate bentos for her instead. utena is an orphan. there's no one to provide for her in any socially conventional way, her parents aren't making her lunches nor have they taught her how to. returning to my Akio Can Cook point, in episode 26 akio tells utena that he considers her 'practically family'. there is a pseudo-incestuous nature to akio's relationships with both utena and touga, which is a broader point for a broader topic, but what's really important here is that utena feels she can depend upon akio to provide for her. and, horribly, she can! this makes it all the more difficult to reject him, because he is everything she has wanted ever since her parents died. you can also link to tsuwabuki here with pseudo-incest, and returning to touga momentarily there's something about the kiryuu family and all of their food being made by staff and also, you know, incest and pseudo-incest.

i think these are the big things to hit in regards to this idea. the curry episode is also absolutely fascinating, as is kanae and the apple, as is the cantarella scene and tea and cookies in ten years time. im kind of just throwing ideas around now but im not trying to write some deeply considered essay here, more so throw around some ideas ive had and see if anything sticks with anyone else.

[thedemolitionderby]

Sexuality and divinity (a incoherent rant not a fancy essay)

Overly posh title but here to write my thoughts before they leave me 🤡 oh. Also. Obviously this post will be talking about sex so. Don't read it if you don't want to see it. Honestly if you don't why are you still reading lol leave shoo

last warning 👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺

--->

On the physical plane I am aroace. I dont experience sexual desire or attraction or 'horniness' towards people, I do feel sexual arousal but it's not towards anything it's just kinda there. However the more connected to my divine aspect I feel...spiritually pan or bi, more bi in particular with a female lean since I find women more attractive. But some guys too. Namely Crocus - for some reason I recently can't stop thinking about him.

Its especially weird because if I weren't asexual I would consider myself straight, so thinking about a dude all the time, and bro I'm even feeling some heat on my cheeks about a dude- it's just so surreal to me. I feel a ache and loss over him - I guess I get to experience alloromantic/sexual folks feelings in a way even though my feelings are from another realm. Cool I guess.

Its definetly ...something for sure. Its like my attraction is limited to another plane and dosent translate over here but due to me often being in more than one things start to blur but it isn't something I feel in this realm.

I would like to explore these feelings more even though its like...another realm's sexuality bleeding into mine (I am very asexual over in physical, I have kinks but I hate the idea of someone doing them with me its like wtf no ew, which is...something because my kinks do centre around a specific type of person - which again if someone like that offered to act it out with me I'd absolutely HATE it!)

It is very interesting! I guess I'm just ace in one realm but I think one way to explore the other realm's bi-feelings is to do something like I would there here. Though ugh everyone in this realm who told me they were good with having one night stands without any romantic entanglement ended up admitting they are into me so. Fuck. This is actually happening so often I'm like (??) It's not even remotely a flex - when it say this people think I'm boasting but it's a geniune annoyance and I hate it.

Yea anyway some day in this plane I might sleep around some but istg I'm going to make sure my partners aren't lying about not being attracted to me. I would do it with strangers but I dont want any unpleasant surprises regarding BO and cleanliness. Whereas with someone I know i can just sniff them and since I know them I know they generally don't smell and wash regularly.

And yes I will indeed shower also.

-🪽

[huntunderironskies]

Talking about utterly incoherent things to 99% of anyone who follows me here because it's too early in the morning to remember how to log into the account where I talk about weeb shit (also it's a little saltier than what I usually post but they aren't real people so I am allowed to be bitchy I think) and I want to vomit this out as quickly as possible before the VGC regionals start in like less than a half hour below the cut.

I guess this TECHNICALLY counts as spoilers for the upcoming prri season but it's just matchups and everyone is already screaming about them and only one of you (to my knowledge) cares about incredibly niche edgy idol boy stuff. I will save your dash with a cut anyway.

Well, we all knew we were getting a Visty v. 1NM8 matchup at some point but that's, uh, sooner than anticipated. Free my boys, they're probably gonna lose in a landslide, Stellas are insane. RIP you funky little lab experiments. To be fair 1NM8 is one of the least popular units because people in this fandom tend to have bad taste and they tend to come across as a heel unit even when Kei is kind of objectively in the right about Phantom Lives (thank you Cory for also being correct about this.)

At least TCW got pitched a softball, I'd be shocked if they lose to Amprule. I think the one thing that Amprule has going for them is IIRC someone did an analysis of voting trends and while there are significantly fewer Amprule fans which is why they've consistently lost every matchup they've been in, the reason their matches aren't absolute blowouts all the time is because Mushikera contribute a wildly disproportionate amount of points compared to everyone else who usually splits their voting points. Though, to be honest the only other match they'd even stand a chance in is vs. Visty as well especially since I'm expecting Stellas to dump all their points into the 1NM8 matchup. But hey, two wins is the most they've ever gotten in any season so, we're still on trend! It's hard out here having good taste.

This is by far the matchup that makes the least sense narratively but part of that is also the writers doing a bad job of giving Amprule any character relationships outside of BAE so you couldn't really get a grudgematch going yet. I'm assuming they're keeping some of the other narratively important rivalries in their back pocket for later so we're probably gonna see BAE vs. czmz grudgematch 3.0 somewhere towards the end.

I can't be the only one who thought gklk vs. Amprule would've been really funny though, right? Incredibly one-sided in favor of gklk but also Kenta and Dongha would fucking H A T E each other.

[danoshanter]

Wait ... they're - WHAT? : A Tale of the Khell'Zentii Research Directorate

This is not the whole story, but I'll give you a link to the thread where I'm posting the story as it unfolds. This is an AAR from the Stellaris game, that I as a crazy writer all the rest of it I've been splattering all over Tumblr the last few, have turned into a story. Contained in this post is the first installment, and a hint that the next installments actually ratchet up the humour quotient and get some descriptive writing in that I'm actually not at all displeased with; following that is a link to the Stellaris game AAR forum on the game company (Paradox)'s website where I am posting subsequent episodes as things become interesting enough in the game to spark a story that I can actually include enough timeline before and after that ... anyway, I just realized that though this is a bit long it really is only leadup to the first revelation, so I'll include first and second installments (I'm up to I think four so far)

:FIRST POSTING:

=========================================

Chief Research Director Arani Khell'Bizar slowly .... ever so slowly ... sank her aching head into her cupped hands. Very slowly, and trying not to be too obvious about it. The subprefectoral attaché who’d been sent over without warning or procedure from Third Under-secretary Brael’yn’s Interstellar Astrogation Department (Riparian Office, Dark Quark Hyperlane Currents Mapping Subdivision, and a few other categories, subcategories, subsubcategories, and subsubsubadnauseam,etc.), and who was currently bouncing off the walls of her meditation chamber, knocking the teaware and beakers all over the place with his flailing arms and raving at her, was obviously highly unstable. Wildly excited. Any usable data irretrievably corrupted by his emotion over … over … well, something or other ... and just a LITTLE incoherent in consequence. That was all. The man wasn't DELIBERATELY trying to make her already gigaparsec-sized headache any worse than it already was. He was just ... She paused, took a breath and sighed.

She tried. She really did. She tried to be so patient with all the echelons, from highest senatorial level department head all the way down to lowest titration pipette scrubber. And look what it got her. She really, truly, deep down in her fundamentally decent soul, really BELIEVED in the Credo. And that was the true beginning of the problem. She left herself too open, too vulnerable. No one, from absolute alpha to the meanest of the most abject omega, even respected her SELF, much less her time, her personal space or the dignity of her elected office. They all just saw her as ... she didn't know what. Someone safe though. Someone so lofty, and therefore paradoxically so inconsequential and objectified, that it was OK to waste her time for twenty minutes with an incoherent, emotional, IRRATIONAL outburst that still hadn't enlightened her as to any actual data, OR any actual poetic truths, except that the ISS D'oh was somehow involved. That was absolutely all she had to go o...

.

​

… as that thought brought up memories of all the particularly hellish last few days ... weeks ... months ... years, essentially every single moment since she was first elected, of nothing but trials, challenges, and testpad disasters trying to get this fragile interstellar nation off the ground of one single planet, when up until a decade ago her people hadn't even known hyperluminary interstellar travel was even possible; all the damn fool press releases claiming ... again ... "WE'VE FOUND OTHER SAPIENT LIFE!"; all the shamefaced, very quietly soft=floated followups that, "Um ... Well, yeah, it's ... ah, it's life all right, Jim, but I'm afriad it's just dumb as a box of rocks again and that's all there is to it. Ah... -- Sorry ..." ... ... And now, at the end of a very bad day dealing with the fallout of yet another false alarm of other sapient life being discovered out there by the very same dear but omniverse-shatteringly ANNOYING childhood friend who was currently trying to drive her to madness sending her low level couriers who are absolutely and completely incapable of framing a coherent, logical …

"attaché?"

(Incoherent response)

"attachÉ!"

(What>I>if>the D'oh>the transmiss...>ohmyGODS>...what?)

"this won't work. you are too involved. it impairs the efficiency of your communication. tell Braelie to come and tell me herself."

(But>what>wait>NO!>she specifically ordered … )

"attaché."

(Wh>sh>yes?)

"am I currently Chief Research Director of the Interstellar Khell'Zenti Confederation?"

(Well>b>yes m'…)

pardon?”

(Ah>ah> … )

“its very simple. classic binary reasoning. nothing more involved than that. am. I. currently Chief Research Director. or. am I not? yes/no, on/off, 1/0.”

(Ah>m>ah>0>ah>imean>Yes)

"did you vote for me?"

I>wh>what doe...>...>...> *gulpbreathgulp* "Yes, Director. I did."

*3.141592653589793238 millisecond pause*

"... braelie. "

-- *Same pause x 10* ...​

"NOW."

============================================================= :END FIRST POSTING: ===========================================================================================================================

​

:SECOND POSTING:: ==================================================================== "Director?" Arani paused to reflect that that was probably one of the things she appreciated most about her chief of staff. Bruustian perfectly epitomized the Khell'Zentaii ideal of taking an absolutely calm and rational and at the same time poetically stylish approach to all that one did; to combine within oneself the clear-eyed zeal and the calm abandon of the warrior-poets and the poet-warriors of old. He was a pool of calm water within the swirling maelstrom of the tabik wave around him. All the other raving idiots she was forced to deal with on a daily basis were so flustered by her office that she was lucky if they confined themselves to "Chief Research Director", and didn't throw in some bizarre politicohierarchical grooming ritual of tangled compliments and obscure metaphorical references likening her to the world-elephant that held up the scientific universe from her ivory throne at the pinnacle of the Kkell'Zentaii mountain, and on and on they would flourish while her eyeballs nearly cracked trying not to glaze over, all the while the window of opportunity for whatever wonderfulness it was was inexorably and often rapidly closing every millimuon they nattered on with their floridity. Bruustian, no. HE just called her, "Director", and got the flaming fluctacte on with ... "Director???" She allowed her left shoulder to startle slightly. "Yes, Primus?" The left corner of his mouth quirked up slightly at the antiquated title. That was all. "Third Secretary Brael'yn is here. She's just about to turn into the corridor leading to your conference chamber. You wanted to be apprised." She smiled, for the first time that week. "Thank you, Primus. Please be sure she has her single malt properly warmed, and let her know I'll be there as soon as I finish "

========================================​

“Brae. Um. You’re SURE that whiskey’s just the way you like it right? I got it from the old place, the one on the corner of Beaker Street, and … here, I know you haven’t had time to relax in forever, just sit down here and take it easy, and … “Ari. Cut the crap. You’re fussing me like a mother my’erdrtsk, but you’re not listening!” “HOW CAN I POSSIBLY LISTEN, YOU’VE BEEN RAVING YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR THREE HOURS AND YOU STILL HAVEN”T SAID ONE COHERENT WORD I COULD UNDERSTAND. This is not Brae’lyn Nab’taxrani in there, not the Brae I know, now please come back and tell me what. The. Squick. You. Are. Talking. About.” “WE FOUND THEM! AND WE FOUND THEM AND OH GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE FOUND THEM BUT WE FOUND!” “Brae. You have found them on a regular basis for … “ “Direct confirmed videographic evidence.” “WJHAT! Why didn’t you say that FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry, Brae, that’s …” "That’s minor.” "Th … what?” "Listen to me. When the D’oh entered the Yri’dinxi system they were contacted, on VIDEO FEED, by … �� MACHINES.” “An automated comm station?” “NO. There is NO evidence of creator species. There is no evidence of organic maintenance techs, no evidence of organic operators, no evidence of any kind of energy feed connection whatsoever to a remote organic operator in or out of system. There was, however, at least residual evidence of DROID personnel performing these roles. Ari. We have not only found our first sentient species in this entire universe, besides ourselves. That in itself would be universe shattering enough, but the inescapable conclusion that all my xenocontact theoreticians unanimously agree upon … UNANIMOUSLY, mind you, and you know that bunch … is that we have also found … an artificial, 100% machine based species that is as completely and fully sentient ...

.. as ourselves.”​

<= *&%&* +>​

Cut to the shadowy, vastly impressive Acadame des Artes et Science senate chamber. Time stamp reads previous temporal coordinates plus one hour. Shadows drape their solemn webwork all around, the occasional whir hum and glow of technology is perceptible in the distance. There is no other sound or motion. The scientist/senators are sitting absolutely still, their jaws dropped as far upon their breasts as nature will allow them in a state of total muscular stunnedness. They have been in this state since the Chief Researcb Director informed the legislative body of the news before taking up her place at the Director's workstation and freezing into a similar state. Perhaps there is a young page insufficiently educated to grasp the full ramifications, and therefore not totally unconscious but just high enough level trained to sort of understand the general framework, worriting in the shadowy corners and wondering what the hell to do when they suddenly might as well be in a postapocalyptic scenario as far as the total consciousness-absence of anyone who knows the news is concerned, and they'd know just enough to know they can't get help because anyone they have immediate access and even begin to describe the problem to will immediately fall into a similar state. Cut to the same chamber a month later. The autocomms have just tickered the news that the lower echelons fuctioned just well enough, before freezing up totally, to set the diplomatic corps in motion. The diplomatic corps is made up of individuals whose personality type makes them immune to revelatory brain freeze (if a little inclined to snark at the scientist higher echelons who aren't.) and therefore, the Khell'Zenti Science Directorate is suddenly engaged in direct diplomacy with a hitherto unsuspected alien artificial intellgence hive mind who jus happens to be the first sapient life the Khell'Zenti were aware of in the universe besides themselves. The scientists are completely unaware this is going on. They are in the same position and state they were in the last time we saw our heroes. Except that some clever maintenance tech has rigged up autoIV feed lines and other basic life support technology to keep them at least minimally functional until they can recover from their stun and actually begin to respond to the situation. This is probably a different lower level tech from the one who remarked that after all this star empire was supposed to be a science directorate that followed rationality and objective uncorrupted data wherever they might lead, and that all data sources so far seemed to indicate that while the functions directly associated with the Director herself had indubitably suffered, the rest of the government actually seemed to be functioning more efficiently than it had while the senators were conscious and operational. She went on to say that she at least saw no need to compromise that efficiency by wasting resources trying to revive anyone but the Director herself, and that the rest were probably happier on life support anyway than incessantly wrangling about whether the distance between Belgarion's planet and the location of the accident that tore apart the Prophecies in David Eddings' Belgariad universe was so many parsecs, or so many parsecs PLUS ONE INCH, a question that superheated plasma, ink, CRT photons and blood had (spinning the metaphor out just a little longer) all been shed over before the poor Director had finally managed to coddle the species over the planetary doorstep to even get to space in the first place.

[ryaartt]

This is probably more of a rant than anything, so feel free to skip until i post something more arty tomorrow.

This is probably nothing abnormal than what every other artist has felt, but even when I'm aware of that it still doesn't take away the sting. I feel every day my dreams of turning to being a full time illustrator dwindle a lot, hell, even to say part time illustrator.

Though i'm pretty new on tumblr, I primarily had been on instagram since 2017 at least. I used to do pretty well there in terms of interaction numbers, and I felt extremely confident in that one day i could make this into a job of come kind. its 2024 now, I'm 3 years out of high school, done my diploma of illustration and have a lifetime of a portfolio, and on instagram i got 3 likes, 2 of them were from myself.

While I've been doing way better on Tumblr now in comparison (in fact being here reminds me a lot of my early days as an artist), it's still hard not to worry about what my future prospects are in general.

I had quit my last retail job late last year due to very poor job security, and I've been looking for new part time work since, and drawing in between that.

At the moment, I've been posting mainly a backlog of years worth of stuff from my instagram and other accounts, but i think soon i need to probably be more smart about how I'm going to tackle the business side of the online world; I really am serious about wanting to make something of myself, and I know it's absolutely an uphill walk when doing anything creative, but i don't think I have any other option but to give it my all. In the next few days there might be a slight change in how I present my art, and in terms of newer stuff i think i need to hone done a more consistent artsyle (when I was looking in my archives i swear it looks like everything is done by different people)

That's basically the end of my rant, this was more to myself than to the general public, when it's come to how i feel about myself as an artist I've always felt like a very private person, but i think it's to the point now where I needed to get it off my chest a bit; probably why it sounds more incoherent...

Anyways... TLDR I need to plan an online buisness strategy if I wanna be serious about being an artist

[ghostforwhat]

Just saw your post about will wearing the gloves but I was wondering if you could maybe elaborate? English isn’t my first language so I think I’m misunderstanding the post! You said he did it wounded and bloody, with love and Hannibal’s permission, but Hannibal never agreed to commit suicide right? Like, will killed them but is Hannibal giving him permission to kill him your interpretation of the scene or is it actually canon? Am I missing something? Also idk I feel like even though he did push them off the cliff with his own “hands” (or rather body) I don’t think it’s what he meant when he told Hannibal he wanted to kill him with his bare hands. I’m thinking he meant putting flesh to flesh, maybe suffocating him or beating him to death. I feel like I’m missing what you’re saying, I’m so sorry! I always love your interpretations so I thought I’d ask for clarification <3

Hey! This got way longer than I meant, apologies in advance! So two things before anything else, the first being that I don’t think it’s necessary to apologize at all, for numerous reasons here, but mainly you don’t have any obligation to enjoy everything I put out into the ether. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy and pleased that you like my take on things but I’m as prone to romanticizing insignificant factors of this show as anyone else. I tend to post with the basic joking stipulation of “this is what that means. to me.” and the catch all of the concept “the curtains were blue.” That’s to say, there’s no definitive answer and I’m shooting a gun off in the dark because I like the way it lights up factors of their relationship, because Will might start wearing gloves due to the fact he’s committing felonies with a shaky permission slip or Will could be wearing gloves in an attempt to emulate Hannibal and further the honeypot situation. There’s reasoning actions from an intellectual standpoint and then there’s speculation, I don’t normally tag my posts as meta or analysis because I rarely think it deserves those labels. What I see is affected by bias and what I want to see and that’s always going to bleed over my thought process.

The second being that I never really expect anyone to reblog things, (not that you can’t!) it feels more like I’m simply talking to myself out loud on a playground lol so I’m sure your English is absolutely fine and I’m even more positive I could have phrased what I was saying in a more cohesive way.

Okay! So, beyond the personalization of interpretations and my own incoherency, I agree completely that when Will says “with my hands” he wholeheartedly is envisioning exactly what he saw when he killed Tier and that’s beating Hannibal to death. He’s not toying with brutality, he’s confirming he’s more than capable of enacting it and at that point, he’s confident he will. But after Tier, after Hannibal’s chosen proxy is dead by Will’s hands, Will goes to Hannibal and shows him what is essentially his intentions. This is, at the time, is the most honest scene in the show between them. Will treats Tier’s corpse like a sacrifice, putting his body on Hannibal’s table isn’t really subtle. When Hannibal prompts him, Will confirms that it was “intimate” and following it, we see a shot of Will’s bloody knuckles. And we know what happens then, Hannibal asks if Will was imagining Hannibal when he was killing Tier and while he receives a rather poignant non-answer, it’s clear Hannibal is made aware that this is the truth and Will felt vivified in doing so. In response, Hannibal does what Hannibal repeats later on the cliff, completely aware of Will’s intentions and encourages them anyway with touch, with acceptance.

Touch between them is significant, it’s not necessarily as rare as we tend to say but it is a focal point whenever it it happens, the camera lingers where hand meets hand for them. So when I said the gloves were a barrier, I meant more so that they were Will attempting to distance himself from the temptation of Hannibal’s acceptance, and the next time Will imagines killing Hannibal, it’s with a blade. That’s the disconnect, that’s the ripple effect of him experiencing a situation similar to what he thought he wanted and finding it unsatisfying though he doesn’t quite understand why. (A quick add on to this, in the Shiizakana transcript, during Will’s dream sequence with Hannibal tied to the tree and the stag pulling the ropes, it says that after Hannibal’s death, after Will wakes up, Will doesn’t find any solace in Hannibal’s death.) If we accept this speculation and the canon notes, a point could be argued that Will doesn’t fantasize or make another attempt on Hannibal after this without ropes or a knife or a gun present because he’s not trying to kill Hannibal with the promised intimacy. Again, distance. We put space between ourselves and that which has the potential to hurt us. Will wants Hannibal dead and yet doesn’t want to deal with the repercussions of living without him because he loves him.

That’s why I don’t want another season, that’s why I do genuinely believe Hannibal let Will pull them off, not maybe out of a sense of agreed suicide but because Will’s transformation (to Hannibal and to us; a character arch) is complete, he can embrace Hannibal and he can embrace acceptance and if that results in their deaths, Hannibal technically already knew that it would. Will told him, in many different ways at different points; “This isn’t sustainable.” “I’m curious whether either of us can survive separation.” “When it comes to me and you, there can be no decisive victory.”

Will can only push them off if Hannibal allows it, there isn’t a violence or reluctance to it, they fall together.

The gloves might not signify anything. I like hand motifs and I’m not above putting more meaning into things that are probably just a wardrobe decision. I hope I clarified this and not just made it worse.

[koqabear]

oshdkfj HELP? we're seriously telepathic at this point it's kind of scary... even more so because i've noticed this is Constantly happening to me and it's like, i'll tell someone we're telepathic as a joke at first, and suddenly it's not a joke anymore LMFAOO i think i'm the problem 😞 (fun fact: i'm really good at accidentally manifesting it's like midas touch but with words)

i've been well for the most part though n i hope you have too! i've just been preoccupied with school, playing the sims 4, or decorating toploaders...! i will literally do anything and everything except write; which sucks because i was really excited about this idea and i wanted to finish it by this month, but i haven't made any real progress with writing the storyline or mundane scenes so i don't think that's happening unless i suddenly get a burst of inspiration turned motivation. also, i know some people say that if you get stuck you should work on something else entirely or write a different scene, so i did both of those and here i am again... with two unfinished fics but complete ideas.

the ideas never stopping but the motivation does is actually so real and True though like omfg? i think with myself and my writing style in particular, i absolutely can't let myself get distracted, otherwise my source or motivation is entirely lost and difficult to get back again. i'll constantly get super immersed in a story, outline every last detail and write bits and pieces here and there, but actually writing/finishing and posting it seems to always end up being my problem and . idk how to fix it ?! like i have way too many story outlines in my notes that at this point i think i should just rebrand my blog and make it an idea bank for writers seeing how my own writing does Not want to see the light of day Ever

anyways, sorry i didn't really mean to talk so much about myself but i hope you find your motivation soon! you honestly have a lot more perseverance than i do when it comes to writing and getting your drafts done, so i don't doubt for a second that you'll get over this block soon and tackle all four...? fics 🙏🏼 boxer tae and loser gyu are here to stay ! – ml

We literally share one mind at this point bc it’s like we summoned each other or smth 💀

I’ve been well also! Life’s been a bit busy these past few weeks, but I’m finally getting some free time again,, hopefully this means I’ll have more time to write too

but omg I totally understand what you mean! Sometimes writers block is so intense that nothing helps, and now I’m stuck with so many more drafts it’s actually driving me insane..

And yes!! Mundane scenes are soooo hard to write!! It’s literally whats keeping me from my boxer tae and loser gyu fics, like they need to be there for character development but oh lord is it getting boring for me to write ! I’m also the same way with writing— I need to stay in one place and remain focused or else that fic is not getting touched again 😭 and if I don’t stop writing at an interesting scene it’s over for me

I usually avoid outline my stories in detail it’s insane 💀 the only one I’ve done a full outline on was OYD, and most of it was a voice recording of me incoherently throwing ideas out; after that I took the key points and wrote them down (then I added important details i needed to remember as I wrote)

I always wing my stories which is why I always have to go back and add stuff in LMAO it’s not the best method but it works most of the time…! Then when I’m about to stop a writing session I leave a vague checklist of stuff I wanna write (like scenes and stuff) and hope I touch it again </3

Making ur account an idea bank is such a mood I have so many good stories that are just gathering dust bc my inspiration is dried out 😭 I also hope you’re able to find motivation and inspiration for your stories, it’s such a frustrating feeling to have writers block and I’d love to see your stories !

[magic-can]

Finally played Resident Evil 4

So I beat RE4 for the first time recently and I kinda just wanna ramble incoherently about it because WOW what a game. It was absolutely fantastic and absolutely deserves its legacy.

The rest of what I wanna say is below the cut but just know that I do go into some spoilers and also there’s mentions of cults. That’s another thing - don’t play this game if cults are a genuine trigger for you. A cult plays a major role in the plot.

It’s a game I’ve had my eyes on for a while now. Years actually. I never got around to it for a multitude of reasons but now with the upcoming remake and it being only 5 bucks during the Steam winter sale, I decided to finally pick it up.

First off, the visuals have aged impressively well. I’m not one of those goofballs who thinks visuals make or break a game but I will absolutely give praise when devs go the extra mile to give a game a good art style. Yes, RE4 is very clearly a game from the mid 2000s, visually. But it has an art style that still stands out - to me at least.

Then there’s the story. I am very impressed with how this game balances goofy action movie shit with genuine horror without one taking away from the other. I know that’s a part of the magic of RE at this point - campiness combined with genuine horror - but still. This game manages to be both fucking hilarious and absolutely horrifying at the same time which is VERY impressive, even more so given that the game has almost been out for 2 decades.

By far the scariest thing to me about the game were the Los Illuminados. The Las Plagas itself didn’t really freak me out because at the end of the day parasites are just trying to survive. Yeah getting your head esploded and/or turning you into a horrible abomination as the Plaga completely overtook you would suck but you can’t get mad at it. It’s just trying to live. What is fucking horrifying to me is the idea of a cult weaponizing such creatures to indoctrinate people into their ideology and to commit international terrorism. It just made me think of the lengths that cults have historically gone to spread their fucked up ideologies. That felt very real despite some of the insane and at times goofy things that happen in this game.

The knife fight with Krauser was, as a scene itself, fantastic. The quick time events were annoying though. Actually that has to be my biggest complaint with the game, personally - the QTEs - I got used to them and sometimes they were fine that doesn’t mean they aren’t annoying as hell for the most part. I really hope the remake gets rid of at least some of them.

I do wanna say, though, is that I really do not understand the Ashley hate. I thought she was very likable and adorable. Any time I got annoyed during the escort missions with her it was more so at the game itself and not her yelling for help or getting injured. She really isn’t a bad character at all. Also she’s voiced by Carolyn Lawrence. There’s no way I could be annoyed by her.

I do, on the other hand, understand why everyone loves the merchant. He is absolutely wonderful and I adore him. <3

Finally, Leon. Leon himself is an absolute highlight of this game. He is a very likable and endearing guy who, while clearly hardened after the events in Raccoon City, is still very caring and kind. Also he says the dumbest things and I adore it. I knew about some of his goofy one-liners beforehand but I was still grinning ear to ear each time he said one of them. He is legit a great character though - just in general, not exclusive to RE4. He’s definitely my favorite RE character now. Also he’s an absolute babygirl. Ada is also great and I love the messy, complex dynamic between her and Leon.

These are far from my full thoughts and I AM going to yell about this game more on other posts but again this is just me. like. yelling. Anyway, I am VERY excited for the remake. I love the direction they’re taking it in and that it’s going to be very different from the original. Because the original is an amazing game that should not be “replaced”.

[inkdemonapologist]

what did you think of batdr?

So, grain of salt, at time of writing, I have not played or watched BatDR all the way through; I got it liveblogged to me by a friend (which honestly was an ideal experience) and then watched some cutscenes. INITIAL FEELINGS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

When BatDR’s release date was announced, I told friends that I thought it was going to be a pretty tight balancing act – if BatDR was REALLY GOOD, it could kill the enthusiasm for the fandom; yknow, a lot of times when you get what you actually want out of a story, the fervour fades. If BatDR was REALLY BAD, I could become too embarrassed about this franchise and not enjoy playing in it anymore. It has to be the perfect balance of messy and unresolved, but not TOO sloppy or thoughtless, and unfortunately for my ability to stop thinking about it, I think it kinda nailed it. BatDR has some heartfelt and startlingly compelling ideas that it executes sort of incoherently, which makes it FASCINATING.

The joke I keep making is that it’s not a sequel, it’s not a prequel, it’s a fanfiction. And I don’t mean that as a diss – it has a fanfic off-the-rails willingness to commit to a wild, self-indulgent take and just go with it, and I think that’s great. But it’s also sort of… disconnected from the original BatIM, in a way? It doesn’t follow BatIM’s themes at all when you think about it. Conflicts and questions in the original game (the downfall of the Studio, Who Was The True Creator Of Bendy, etc.) are strangely brushed aside in this game, rather than developed or resolved. 

Which is why you get weird things like, there’s a REAL ACTUAL NEAR-PERFECT TOON BENDY wandering around, but the original BatIM characters (Joey, Henry, Sammy; people you’d expect to have some kind of big feelings about a true toon Bendy) don’t ever get to interact with him because their feelings on toon Bendy aren’t the point here. BatDR explains what the loop in BatIM was, but that’s not something you discover yourself, because the loop is obsolete now – it’s just explained briefly in order to get to the real focus of this game, Joey Drew having a daughter. Even before you get to timeline questions/possible inconsistencies, the game feels less to me like an actual sequel that builds on the previous game, and more like a neat AU with its own headcanons bouncing off of and interpreting the previous game. 

Anyway, some random specific thoughts that come to mind:

They really coulda done something with the family theme if they’d just had Wilson go ahead and say who he was early on. Why did that have to be a surprise? I don’t think saving it really added anything.

Everything about Audrey being Joey’s daughter is AMAZING and I can’t stop thinking about this. Absolutely fascinating development. Have a lot of conflicting feelings on how this was handled but THATS FOR ANOTHER POST; I really do like this, though.

"Something he had always wanted, but could never have: A family." SO JOEY'S LIKE, CANONICALLY GAY IN THE GAMES TOO NOW, RIGHT??? THAT'S PRETTY CLEAR CUT????? LIKE ITS THE MOST OBVIOUS REASON JOEY COULDNT HAVE A FAMILY BEFORE??? HES A GAY SINGLE DAD!!!!

I RLY LIKE THE DESIGNS FOR HENRY AND JOEY. I was surprised to find that the way my brain parsed them was like, they’re the designs for the BatDR AU. Like BatDR is a new fan showing off their designs for their crew, and I’m drawing fanart for their cool AU.

The Ink Demon/ Bendy stuff uh, resolved very strangely. Am very into Bendy and the Ink Demon being the same entity but wish that had been explored a little more!

I actually like Sammy’s cameo(s). I’ve always gotten the feeling that the creators of BatIM were never entirely sure what we all saw in Sammy, so if they didn’t have anything they were particularly hyped to do with him, I think cameos were the right call. The Subject 418 moment is PERFECT. NO NOTES. His 5 seconds before getting shot at the end is like, it’s silly that he died immediately and we all joke about it, but also there’s an element of OH, IM SO GLAD HE GOT TO BE HERE FOR THIS for me, too.

GENT being all OOOOO LOOK AT ALL THEIR SUPER UNETHICAL SCIENCE, LOOK HOW SINISTER THEY ARE is kinda uninteresting to me. Something like, a single audiolog going “huh, that’s weird, when GENT left for their new building, all the ink left, too….” would be way more unsettling than explicit confirmation of GENT taking over and doing lethal human experimentation. And like, idk, I feel one of the things that made BatIM compelling was that it had all these spooky tropes, but motivated by a startlingly mundane desire – people believing in a cartoon so strongly that it accidentally veers into unhinged science and dark occult worship along the way. As soon as they’re just doing normal unethical science with ambiguous motives that seem totally disconnected from the studio, it becomes kinda generic.

Nothing about Wilson is coherent, to the extent that I honestly wonder if the original plan for Wilson was different and he had to be shuffled around for some reason.

What else happened in this game….. Im glad alice got a murder party but I don’t know why she’s here. That One Scene with her and Allison feels very fanservicey but not in a bad way lmao.

Probably other stuff but I think this post is long enough!!

[huggingtentacles]

Many people in an attempt to paint Malenia as less skilled than Radahn and thus a sore loser, fixate so much on the bloom. They ignore the fact that he was already incapacitated after being impaled by her but BEFORE the bloom. He couldn't even muster up the energy to glare at her. He couldn't do anything as she slowly pushed her sword deeper and took about 10+ seconds to bloom. He also couldn't react in-time to her jump-stab whereas she never slowed down when her arm was being cut off.

Re-reading this made me realize that I'm just rambling. It's very badly written and borderline incoherent. So my arguments might be bad. Also I want to point out that I am very biased. No I do not care. If you disagree that's fine, write your own post. BUT if you're the Lore Person and you know some of the answers to the questions I have, or you have your own additions, by all means, please add them. So anyway.

I was gonna point that out in my post about why Malenia totally owned Radahn but whatever I'll write it here.

Basically in Radahn Vs Malenia debate whoever wins depends on your opinion of what qualifies as a "victory". Since they were fighting a war, some would look at it from a militaristic standpoint, in which case you gotta define why they even fought, and that's not even clear. Was it for the great runes and the status of godhood? Well, Malenia probably didn't care about the runes, because she did spare Godrick. Was it just a war of conquest? Well, I'm from Ukraine and I know a thing or two about wars of conquest. There wasn't any occupational force anywhere else in the lands between, so it probably wasn't for the territory. In fact, it seems like Malenia deliberately went for Radahn. Maybe she just fucking hates Radahn's guts for some reason. Maybe their minds were just tainted by the great runes. I do not know what was the military objective. But in a war, like in any other war, there is no victor. In that I would agree that it's a loss on both sides. I can make a case though, that whatever was the military objective of the battle of Aeonia, it was something that was worth sacrificing yourself to an outer god for. Malenia's last attack reads to me as extremely calculated. Run in, sack your arm which would suprise your opponent because he probably didn't fight many people who would keep fighting after losing an arm, leap forward, incapacitate him in one hit and also damage yourself enough to trigger the scarlet bloom. Perhaps driving him mad and stop him from achieving something was the goal. That is up to interpretation.

But in their own personal duel, like, outside of everything else, just straight up a battle to the death... Malenia just won. Like, it's just hard to argue with this. Radahn was one of the mightiest demi-gods. And what state do we find him in? Fucking Ohio. Pathetic. This dude is so fucked he might as well belong to Dark Souls 3. Don't get me wrong, he is still really fearsome, don't hold a festival of war for someone who is weak. But when he is just Not Doing Well. If we came a few months later I think he would go so mad he would've eaten his horse. He's in a really sad state, he just doesn't read like a winner to me.

Malenia though? Well let's put aside the fact that she absolutely wrecks shit for a moment. When we meet her she's just chilling, you know? If Miquella wasn't kidnapped, I would imagine he would find something to cure her from the rot. She had all the chances of just brushing it off. And honestly if our Tarnished wouldn't invade the Haligtree, she might've figured something out. I don't really understand why she didn't go out looking for Miquella, but I would believe she would do that eventually. But maybe it was because of the loss or eyesight. Like yeah maybe fighting is just second nature to her, but navigating an area wouldn't be easy. Or maybe she waited for him to return because he had some sort of plan that was interrupted by Mohg?

In any case, Malenia not only crushed whatever Radahn was trying to do, she also had better recovery from the battle.

Also let's talk about that final hit. In PvP, taking damage on purpose to deal damage to your opponent is called trading. A good trade is used to either win over initiative by dealing more damage than your opponent and staggering them. It's difficult to argue that in technical terms Malenia won that trade. Radahn ended up a fun side-quest for some NPCs and Malenia is literally The Hardest Boss From Software ever made.

[norarigby]

Iwaizumi Hajime - The Little Things

The Little Black Box Masterlist

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime x reader

Warnings: Just Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer being a big, clingy baby

Word Count: ~1.2k

A/n: Day 1 of the Little Black Box series complete! Even though I don’t want to focus on proposals with this series, I loved this idea so I feel like it’s fine. Enjoy and I’ll see you tomorrow with some Sakusa!

Iwaizumi’s keys jingled as he unlocked the door to your shared apartment. He sighed as he took off his shoes and set down his bag. As he stood back up, his eyebrows furrowed. It was oddly quiet in the apartment. Where were you? Even if you couldn’t meet him at the door, you’d usually at least shout a welcome home.

Iwaizumi walked around the front of the apartment to try to find you. You weren’t in the kitchen making dinner or on the couch taking a nap. Iwaizumi then padded softly to the bedroom. When he got to the door, he stopped and his features softened as he saw you deeply enthralled by whatever book you were reading. He couldn’t wait to have you tell him about it later.

He watched from the doorway at your face contorted with concentration. You were even chewing on your thumbnail, hooked on every word.

Iwaizumi loved these moments. He loved watching you when you thought no one was looking. Sometimes it was during the first light of morning just before he would get up for a morning jog. Sometimes it was when you two would be watching a movie and you would get just a little too into the scene that was playing. Whenever it was, he cherished the moment always taking a mental picture before it was over. You’ve caught him a couple times and every time you teasingly called him a creep. And every time he would just smile wider and attack your face with kisses.

But as much as he loved this moment, he wanted to cuddle with you just a bit more. So he walked over to the bed and plopped his body on yours. He tightly wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled into your stomach.

You raised an eyebrow and lifted up your book so you could see the top of his head, “Well hello to you too.” Iwaizumi just grumbled an incoherent response. “When did you get home?”

“Couple minutes ago.” He mumbled.

You sighed and marked the page you were on. The book would have to wait. Iwaizumi was definitely not a clingy type, but a tired Iwaizumi meant that you had a very clingy Iwaizumi on your hands. And he could get very upset if you didn’t give him enough attention. So you set your book down on the dresser, laid down further on the bed so you were more comfortable, and began to gently run your fingers through his hair.

You hummed, “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you and come to say hi. How was you’re day?”

Iwaizumi recounted his day while stealing one of your hands so he could play with your fingers while he talked. These softer moments were rare, usually saved for mornings that were slept in or when one of you had a bad day. And while he hadn’t necessarily had a bad day, he must’ve missed you especially today. You hummed in response to his stories and even interrupted every once in a while to add your own commentary.

After he finished his account of his day, he propped his head on your stomach to look at you, “How was your day?”

“I had lunch with some of the executives and I think it went well. They liked my pitch and we’ll start really working on making it happen tomorrow, so I took the rest of the day off.” You stopped running your hands through his hair and cupped his cheeks, “Speaking of, aren’t you home a little earlier that usual?”

Iwaizumi frowned, “No? I pulled in at about 5:30 like usual.”

Your eyes widened before you groaned, carding your hands over your face, “I meant to start dinner at 5! I must’ve lost track of time!”

Iwaizumi shifted so that his forearms propped him up just above your face, “No worries. We can always just order takeout. It can be a celebration of your work accomplishment today.” In all honesty, a night in with some takeout and some dumb movie sounded really good to him right now.

Your hands lifted from your face and you lit up in excitement, “You mean it?”

He couldn’t resist smiling at your reaction, “Of course I mean it. Pick whatever to eat and we can even watch one of your movies if you want.”

“Iwaaaa,” You whined. “You’re too nice to me! What did I do to deserve you?”

“I could ask you the same question.” Iwaizumi planted a kiss on your lips before getting up to change into something more comfortable, “Order something delivery. I’ll even pay for it. I think my wallet’s in my bag.”

You bounced up from the bed an placed another kiss on his check before going to get his wallet from his bag. You checked the main pocket. No luck. You checked the big side pockets. No luck.

“Hajime, what pocket is it again?” You shouted.

“It should be in the small front pocket.” Was his response, but it barely registered in your head. When you opened the front pocket, you quickly realized that it was definitely not the right pocket. And you definitely should not have seen what was in that pocket.

“Babe? Did you find it? It’s just in the front-“ Iwaizumi had peeked out to see if everything was alright and instead was met with you standing above his bag, staring at something in your hand. You turned fully towards him and looked up slowly. Iwaizumi’s eyes immediately saw what you were staring at and his eyes went wide. They darted between the small box in your hand and your eyes.

The two of were absolutely silent, just looking at each other. A minute passed. Then another. Finally, the two of you bursted into laughter. He came over and hugged you as you both continue to laugh. He should’ve known he would never get to properly propose to you. As your laughter died down, he pulled back and held the box between the two of you, “Well this is not how I saw it playing out, but I was going to propose sometime soon anyway.”

Iwaizumi opened the box, planning on showing you the ring, but found the ring missing. He looked at you again in panic, but softened when he saw you showing the ring on your finger. You smiled as you wiggled your ring finger in his face, “Had to make sure it fit.”

He rolled his eyes and smiled, “You tease me too much.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and his hands settled on your hips, “But you know you’re going to have to properly propose to me at some point, right? My mother will never let me live this down if she found out this is how we got engaged.”

Iwaizumi leaned down so your foreheads were touching, “So does that mean you’re saying yes?”

“Iwaizumi Hajime. I cannot give you a proper answer until you properly propose to me.” You cupped his head in your hands, “I’m going to get in some sweats. Find your wallet and then join me so we can decide what to eat and watch, okay?” You returned your head to rest against his. “I love you.”

Iwaizumi made a mental note that you were still wearing the ring and hadn’t even made an attempt to take it off. So even if you didn’t give him a verbal answer, he knew.

He smiled and spoke softly, “I love you too.”

(Posted on February 22, 2021, 11:03 AM) 

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

you said you were having sibling feels lately so consider this a free ticket to gush abt. anything related to that. i am Looking Respectfully.

I'm having a full-on breakdown about DC comics characters 24/7 for the past week I've imprinted very hard on one specific character and I'm trying to build my understanding off of fanfics and online friends and this has sent me into an absolute SPIRAL thinking about sibling dynamics

so how's about uh,,, dya remember my post the other day about MCR's Surrender the Night? yeah this song is killing me bc like. it just feels like the push and pull of dysfunctional but still determinedly loving sibling relationships, which are always the best. just like, trying to pull rank but,,, in a loving way (@brown-little-robin idk if this makes sense but for some reason whenever I hear this song it makes me think of Jason and Dick????)

also as Gracie pointed out Famous Last Words was actually hecking written from one brother to another so that adds A LOT MORE FEELINGS to this one (once again Robin will understand: this is on my very small and very intense Jason playlist adkdjalfh bc I process things by making playlists about them-)

also @disco-tea sent me this panel of a DCU comic and I uh... yeah I feel. Fine. about this. but that's like, a trademark Dana Scully "I'm fine," which is to say, I'm absolutely coming apart at the seams

also just thinking about your OCs and my OCs, because we both have at least one significant sibling pair — mainly lately I've been thinking about Yancy and Sumako, bc their dynamic just inexplicably means SO MUCH to me, they love each other so much and they're actually like, a somewhat normal/well-adjusted pair of siblings (compared to a lot of others lol) and I love to see that, they just. have fun!! and care for each other!!! and would die for each other in a heartbeat but not in an angsty way, just in a way that's been a complete given since the moment Sumako was born and will continue to be a given for the rest of their lives; simple unquestioned fact, no shadows attached.

and then MY sibling pair, Dany and her younger sister (who is currently being called either Cassidy or Carissa?? I haven't decided yet tbh) who are separated for like, over a year and are a significant portion of each other's primary motives behind... A Lot of things they do, but at the same time, they don't even get along that well. they have such totally different ways of going about things that often they're at odds even though they Get Each Other more than most people probably do??? and once Dany reaches her destination (wherever her family is) the two sisters have to reckon with the fact that they both, but mostly Dany, have CHANGED. A lot. Carissa has to deal with the fact that the sister she has now isn't the same one she had Before. neither of them always handles it totally well skdfjskfjsjwf

a lot of this is also probably initially instigated (or at least planted in my head a tad bit) by the fact that I've watched FX's The Bear nearly two times (i have one episode left to rewatch shhh) and the primary underlying struggle of that series is that the main character is dealing with the loss of his older brother and a strained relationship with his older sister (amongst other things, but I'm not giving you the whole schpiel rn lol). oh and one of the other main relationships in the show is the main character's really weird friend/family thing with his dead brother's former best friend, it's absolutely fascinating tbh. as several other people have said, in a way, it's a ghost story. the narrative is haunted by the loss of a brother.

and Gerard Way is really getting to me

and DC too

anyway thanks for the opportunity to go wild and probably come across as INCREDIBLY unhinged and incoherent, but hey, I'm in good company!

[mysticetus]

I know you’ve talked about this before on your old blog, but why do you believe Paul is trans? I don’t mean that in a “he’s cis ur making stuff up1!!1” way. More like..what are your reasons for believing he is trans. I love love love your Petscop analysis posts and just wanted to hear your take on it bc I saw an annoying post about how he is 1000% cis and like. I knew you’d be able to word it better than I could.

I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable btw! I remember your post about people making Petscop just about him being trans and that’s not what I’m trying to do here. It feels wrong to even word it like that. Sorry again!

hi there! no need to apologize i am very happy to answer this. thankyou for checking in though. sorry if this gets ranty/incoherent i just woke up

"paul is trans" really is a beast isnt it. the only reason i was talking about how i personally dislike when people focus too hard on him being trans is it tends to eclipse the things i read as the main themes of petscop. and those themes are very intense and difficult, and call for respect. while lgbt people absolutely can and should be included in these narratives the unfortunate nature of the internet is people tend to fixate on the fact theres lgbt people and then overlook anything else the art has to say.

its tough because in the case of petscop paul being trans has extreme importance to the effectiveness of the work. because its a series about abuse and trauma, and the lasting effects of those things. the main case study is care, and the narrator is paul. its heavily implied that paul and care are connected in some way, either being the same person or reflections of each other. the narrative that means the most to me, personally, and that i think is the most potent, is one that involves care and paul being the same person, full stop. how you decide to connect those dots also basically defines how grounded in reality you think the series is.

you can start pulling things like alternate timelines converging or some sort of AI to explain why/how these two are the same person. the simple fact is that the trans reading is the most grounded in reality, because theres nothing supernatural going on there. and the reason i don't personally like reading things in petscop as literally reality breaking is it takes away from the potency of its metaphors. is petscop literally anachronistic? is rainer literally an entity inside the game? life can certainly feel this way if you've undergone something similar to what the characters experience.

petscop explores how someone can be completely changed and transformed over time. in the case of care/paul, its an illustration of the relationship with the child self. and if petscop is using more literal representations to illustrate metaphors anyway, i think paul being trans fits into this very neatly. theres obviously countless ways to "be" trans, theres countless trans experiences, but the one care/paul implies - an afab person who at some point began hrt to physically transition - thats one i have personal experience in, and one i feel comfortable talking about. and as someone who has undergone/is undergoing this its very powerful. because in the case of being transmasc and taking t you are literally transforming and becoming unrecognizable, and people will project meaning onto that, positive or negative. people will start mourning your past self as if they died, you start feeling a disconnect from yourself in your past. it is very much a form of rebirth. this is why i can't very much blame people for making petscop about being trans, or only seeing it that way, because the trans narrative fits inside something that is vaguely telling a trauma recovery story.

and this is where i feel a need to say, while everything i just said is true, and i experience these things, it is 100% by no means only because i'm trans/physically transitioning. in fact, it actively pisses me off when people try to project that meaning onto me. because things one can experience because they're trans are also things one can experience because of trauma. and when the cause is the latter, it's insulting to say "oh this is because you're trans right" .....and im not sure i can properly put into words why it pisses me off so much. probably something to do with agency, because physically transitioning is a wholly positive thing in my life that i am actively deciding to do, whereas an adverse experience is something inflicted upon you and is essentially life destroying. obviously polar opposite experiences. one of these is a very personal part of my identity, and the other isn’t supposed to be there and you’re implying it’s part of my identity!  aah!

so theres an obvious need to be delicate when discussing these things. but we will never know what tony's original intention was, so all we can really do is express what the art means to us, so thats what im doing here. as you can see i make petscop really personal, but that's not even the inherent nature of the work. i can sit here and tell you how its about someone slowly coming to terms with things that happened to them in their childhood and it wont change anything because its just my reading. basically, youre not killing orphans or whatever because you read it in a different way or treat it differently. but there is an objective truth that the series addresses child abuse and trauma, and calls for some degree of respect because of it. so maybe it makes sense why "paul says trans rights" makes me go :/

to try and answer this question, i think paul is trans because i think that paul and care being the same person in a context that's grounded in reality is essential to the work functioning in the way i take to be its intended way. if the work wants to explore dissociative amnesia, flashbacks, identity, and processing trauma, paul's story has to be care's story without any sort of supernatural "paul's memories are merging with someone else's memories and he's scared and confused because of it". otherwise it becomes disrespectful, because it paints these very real experiences as absurd and otherworldly, and surely they could never actually happen right? the trans reading just sits best with me.

thank you for asking me to talk about this!

[its-monster-mash]

Okay it’s late and I had a very emotional time in the shower so now I’m thinking about personal trauma regarding my mom and I’m thinking about Bo Sinclair and HIS mom and I am a MESS and I think it’s really fascinating from a psychological standpoint so maybe I shouldn’t rant about it on the internet, but I’m going to anyway so BAM. Under the cut for those morbidly curious.

POST WRITING WARNING: That got super incoherent. I am tired and posting anyway. Feel free to pick apart my brain. I am at peace with it. Picking apart my brain is a thing my best friend and I do for sport now tbh.

So long story short, my mom was neglectful at best, and frequently abusive when I was growing up. Like, I ate dog food to stave off hunger pains neglectful and scream at me red faced and nostrils flaring so hard for wetting the bed when I was three that my dad strangled her and that’s why they got a divorce abusive, like, lock me outside until I “Figure it out” when there was a solid BLOCK of ice around the duck enclosure and I broke the shovel trying to chip it away abusive, insist my (former)stepdad is only PLAYING when he beats me and I’m “taking it too far” when I fight back neglectful. (She was on a medication that has since been recalled for causing episodes of violent psychosis and memory loss; she had no idea she was doing any of that—we are on peaceful terms NOW and I no longer blame her; but obviously that doesn’t mean it didn’t effect me VERY badly, I just consider the “mom” from my childhood and my Mom today as two different people)

Anyway, when I was eighteen years old, my mom admitted to me that she never loved me. She told me about how she thought she loved me when I was born, because she didn’t know any better, but that she loved me “the way you love someone else’s baby; like any baby you can just give back” but that she always kind of resented ME for us not having that closeness a mother and daughter “should have”. She said that she didn’t realize until my brother was born(I was nine at the time) what it was supposed to feel like to love your own child. She told me it broke her heart, because she realized she’d spent nine years Not Loving Me and felt like by then it was too late to try to get help and that our relationship was just doomed because she couldn’t love me. (Our relationship only actually improved when my son was born; but the love my mom and I have for each other is definitely Chosen love, more like friends than mother and daughter—though she is a wonderful Grandma)

But like, with that out of the way, Bo Sinclair absolutely breaks my heart because I am INTIMATELY familiar with how it feels to grow up with a mother who does not love you, and who is not impressed with anything you do no matter how hard you try. ESPECIALLY with the “Why can’t you be more like your brother” line in the movie. Like, I 100% know how it feels to grow up watching your sibling be loved while you’re just the burden. (Only, I’m so much older than MY brother, that in our situation I was basically acting as his parent because our mom and his dad were absolutely in no way cut out for the job; so as you can imagine that was…painful).

But like, Bo CLEARLY is still obsessed with trying to prove to his mother even after she’s dead that he’s worthy of her love, and it breaks me because I know from experience how hard it is to accept that you don’t NEED your mother’s love. Being unloved as a child doesn’t mean you can’t ever be loved or that there’s just something about you that people can’t love.

Like GOD Bo is a fucking trash man and literally everything is wrong with him but he did not deserve the childhood that was inflicted upon him.

TLDR: I am normal about Bo Sinclair I am normal about Bo Sinclair I am so fucking NORMAL about Bo Sinclair and also my childhood sucked.