#am i a day late for the beach boys love you's anniversary? yes. will that stop me from uploading this in its honor? no <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[kvetchs]

johnny carson || the beach boys

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Rarepair headcanons because I am ignoring my problems

Serodeku:

Izuku reenacts the Spider-Man movies with Sero. Izuku is MJ. They also alternate being Spider-Man sometimes

They skate together

They get very protective when people call their boyfriend “plain”

They play dnd together

Sero tries to make sure that izuku gets some rest

They’re both kinda insecure, izuku more than sero, but still; and they make sure to reassure each other as often as possible

Sero likes listening to Izuku’s ramblings and finds them cute. He has told izuku this, only for the poor boy to imitate a tomato

After Izuku has been particularly reckless, Sero takes advantage of his quirk, wraps Izuku in bubble wrap, and tapes it there

Tokodeku:

Jocknerd bf and goth bf, we love to see it

Tokoyami teaches izuku how to sword fight

They start a dnd club at U.A.

Izuku talks to dark shadow a lot, Dark Shadow approves of him, and has claimed the spot of best man at their wedding

Izuku comes up with ideas to help Tokoyami gain control with Dark Shadow

Dark Shadow is very protective over Izuku, no matter how many times Tokoyami tells him that he can take care of himself, Dark Shadow will put himself between Izuku and any form of danger as often as possible

Dekoyama??? Aoyama/izuku:

Aoyama gives him makeovers, obviously

Aoyama drags izuku to the mall and tries to revamp some of his wardrobe, but he actually finds the “pants” and “flannel” type shirts cute

They help each other train their quirks

Aoyama is trilingual, and teaching izuku English and French.

Izuku always brings Aoyama home some new cheese

Y’all, I love them so much. There needs to be more aodeku content

Monoshinsou:

They have people watching dates. They come up with stories for the people they’re watching; their job, family, background, etc.

They judge people together

They call each other “love”

They’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They jokingly sh*t-talk class A

Shinsou said “I love you” first, and it was because Monoma brought him coffee to class

Monoyama:

Like monoshinsou, they’re both dramatic bastards, who will flop onto their lovers lap and proclaim their death due to a minor inconvenience

They go shopping together and pick out the most dramatic pieces of clothing for each other

I love them so much, please 😭✋

They have tea parties every week, where they sh*t talk everyone else and gossip

They are both fancy bastards, and they wear the most exquisite outfits to go grocery shopping, and the outshine everyone

They both actually make clothing, they’ll go fabric shopping together. Gift exchanges are often articles of clothing that they’ve made for each other

Momomei:

They work on gear together!!!

Momo makes sure that mei gets some sleep

Mei helps redesign momo’s suit

They often work together with izuku to work in gear and such

They actually got together after izuku introduced them. He had been working on gear with mei, and studying with momo and he thought they’d hit it off. He was correct

Shintsuyu:

Dude they’d be so cute

Tsu is a vent gremlin, and you can’t change my mind. So she and shinsou will play a game where they try to find each other. Tsu is in the vent and shinsou is in the classrooms. Shinsou will try to find whichever vent she’s in, or she’ll find whichever classroom he’s in, in 20 minutes or less

I always headcanoned tsu as a dog person, so they’d have two cats and two dogs, and a bunny that they named Deku

They like comparing their friends to animals, hence the bunny, Deku

Kamideku:

Kaminari is a flirt, and izuku does n o t know how to handle it

Kaminari likes listening to izuku’s ramblings, and can keep up with them. He’ll ask questions on things too, and Izuku has never felt more appreciated

I don’t know why I feel like they’d have so many animals, but I do. They’d have so many, man. Three cats, two dogs, four sugar gliders, a hamster

Adhd power couple. They hyperfixated on complimentary things at the same time one time

Kaminari tutors izuku in English, and izuku turots kami in some other subjects. He’s also teaching kami JSL on the side. Kaminari has a live of languages

Momochako:

Study dates, Momo asks ochako to quiz her a lot

Ochako takes to floating momo’s things when she wants attention. Especially when Momo is studying. She makes a game out of how many things she can float until the other girl notices

Uraraka’s confidence does wonders for momo’s. Uraraka always makes sure to reassure momo that she is strong and that she can do this

Momo makes Uraraka whatever her heart desires. Uraraka blushes all the time, and momo takes great pride in getting her girlfriend to blush

Minatoru:

Mina clings to everyone, but especially to toru

They give each other stuffed animals so often. They’ll go to the store to get food, and come back with three stuffed animals that reminded them of each other

Please, they’re so cute 😭✋

They will play hide and seek, I stand by this.

Mina helps toru design a new costume. I hate hers, it’s horrible, and sexist, and not suitable for a fucking child

Toru says that pink is her favorite color

They flirt with each other all the time. Half the class thinks it’s cute, half of them used to think it was cute.

Iidamomo:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but study dates. they quiz each other, and it actually gets pretty competitive

They also have rage room dates. I will not budge on this. Iida tried to murder someone, and I am excited to see momo finally snap. She deserves it

They alternate paying for dates, don’t try me.

The go hiking a lot

They started liking each other after one late night, both having nightmares. Momo had tea, and offered some to Iida. They talked until the early hours of the morning

They can’t flirt. They try. But they’re horrible at it. They’ll compliment each other all day long, but they cannot flirt.

KIRIDEKU, MY BELOVED:

Y’all,,, y’all, I love them so much

They train together, obviously

They ran into each other one night in the common room after both having nightmares. They talked about middle school, how they were both bullied, izuku’s quirk coming in late, katsuki being abusive, kiri being bullied because his quirk wasn’t “cool.” After that, they were practically inseparable.

They started going on dates, not that either of them knew they were dates. The entire class knew, so did the teachers, so did the rest of U.A. Kirishima picked up on it first after a comment from Mina, he had is realization.

So, he started courting Izuku. Not thag izuku realized this. He brought him flowers on most ‘dates,’ he bought him hero action figures whenever he could, he complimented him until Izuku was red in the face (which was honestly very easy.) Still, izuku remained ignorant to the fact that he was indeed dating Kirishima.

The final tipping point, was due to Uraraka’s help. She was quite tired of watching the two of them pine for each other. It was amusing for the first couple months, watching Kirishima try so hard, and Deku being totally oblivious. However, she took pity on her friends after a while.

So, Uraraka devised a devilish plan to get the two together. She involved Mina, Sero, and kaminari in this plan. What was the plan, you ask? Oh, simply to trap the two in one room until they broke through izuku’s obliviousness.

Kirishima finally “straight” up admitted his feelings, to which Izuku had the sudden realization of “oh my gods, have we been dating this whole time??” Yes, Izuku. Yes you have.

They have two anniversaries after that.

Let’s be honest, they are really, annoyingly, horrifically lovey dovey. Kirishima brags about having “the manliest and bestest boyfriend in the world.” Izuku flaunts his many PowerPoint presentations on how talented and incredible Kirishima is

Uraraka doesn’t know if she did the right thing by helping them. She is so tired

Tsujirou:

Jirou makes playlists for tsu

The few sane ones in class A, I swear

They go on walks in the rain as often as they can

They go for dates in the bookstore too. They each pick out an album and a book for the other to listen to and read

Y’all, they make so much sense togetherrrrr, I’m love them 🥺

Jirou started liking tsu after the crew saved bakugou. Jirou sat with tsu after momo, Iida, kirishima, Todoroki, and izuku apologized and sat with her. They had movie night, and Jirou joined the Bakugou saving crew and tsu with taking well into the night. She just appreciated how much tsu cared

Tsu started liking Jirou after she helped Iida, momo, and izuku try to keep the class in order. She appreciated how diplomatic and calm she was

Jirou would talk to izuku all night long about how gay she was, and how adorable tsu was. So, izuku decided to try and suggest ways for Jirou to ask her out.

She did not end up getting to ask her out though, as Tsu walked up to her the next morning f and asked if she wanted to go on a date. Jirou said yes. Izuku cried

Izujirou:

They make playlists for each other

They go for runs on the beach a lot

They both have insomnia, and often spend time making blanket forts and talking, or FaceTiming and listening to music

Jirou walks into the common room once a week looking for new music. She started liking Izuku after he made a playlist for her for one of these occasions.

They’re both quite awkward when it comes to romance, but neither of them will shy away from facing the truth. So, Jirou made izuku a playlist filled with love songs that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou wrote a love song and told izuku that the song was for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell.

So, then Jirou write analysis about izuku’s quirk for him. Sadly, izuku is dense as hell

So, then, after thinking that Jirou had done so much for him, izuku made her a playlist filled with love songs. Jirou took this to mean that izuku had finally picked up on her feelings, and accepted them.

So, they started to go on dates. Not that izuku knew this, as he is dense as hell. All leading up to izuku finally confessing his feelings on one of their ‘dates,’ to which Jirou responded, “dude, we’re already dating? Aren’t we? I- I thought that was obvious??”

May this awkward couple be forever blessed

Tokoyama:

Goth/prep boyfriends, we love to see it

At least once a day, Aoyama will proclaim that Tokoyami “shines almost as bright as he does, in his fabulous emo way”

They sword fight, and come up with really dramatic scenarios and scenes that they’re in

They bond over being in the izucrew and their shared love of swords. Aoyama took fencing classes in middle school, and Tokoyami got into sword fighting after watching it in pirates of the Caribbean as a young child. He is self taught and watched countless videos on the art of sword fighting

Tokoyami asked Aoyama our by dramatically presenting him with a dagger and going “will you accompany me on a formal outing as my lover?”

Shinyama:

They flirt constantly

No really, it’s getting quite annoying. Someone please stop them.

They both plop down in random areas and proclaim their deaths, the difference between them, is that Aoyama will burst into shinsou’s room, and yell “love, I’ve been murdered. Mourn for me” while plopping down on shinsou’s lap. Shinsou can be found laying face down outside aoyama’s door, and when Aoyama goes to open the door, he just goes “I’ve been murdered.”

^^ one time, shinsou did a very fun Halloween prank for this, where he poured fake blood all over himself for Aoyama to find him an hour later, asleep.

Nap dates. Aoyama get glitter all over shinsou’s room

Iiyama:

Aoyama enjoys making Iida blush, obviously. But he takes joy in doing it specifically when class is about to start. Aizawa is tired of his shit

Here is how I think an iiyama conversation might go:

Aoyama: I ask for one thing in this relationship-

Iida: Aoyama, you know that’s a lie-

Aoyama: for my boyfriend to carry me around all day-

Iida: Aoyama, I cannot feasibly do this with class-

Aoyama: and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for 😤

Anyway, Aoyama got carried around all day that day, despite Iida’s blush and Aizawa’s eye twitch

Everyone in the izucrew is close, but Iida and Aoyama started to get close after Iida told the crew about Stain. Aoyama wanted Iida to know that he wasn’t alone, and that he wanted to help him. So he started packing extra cheese for lunch and giving it to Iida. Iida was very confused at first. But this was Aoyama trying to court him. This was only made apparent by momo and Jirou telling Iida that this was aoyama’s attempt at expressing romantic interest.

Aoyama flirts with everyone, that’s just who he is. But with Iida? Oh it was tenfold. The poor boy was red in the face constantly. Aoyama was a persistent little bugger too, following him around and calling him ‘mon amour’

Kirikamideku:

My dearest traffic light trio, I’m love them

They train together, and kiri and kami always appreciate izuku’s analysis snd ideas

Kiri falls even more in love with izuku and kaminari when they go off on rants. Izuku rants and kami can keep up with him so he asks questions about it. Kiri loves to watch his boyfriends go on rants, I don’t make the rules, but I do enforce them

They started to get closer after kami and kiri found bakugou causing a ptsd flashback (could be on purpose of an accident, up to the reader.) they stated with him and tried to talk him through it. After this, izuku started to tell them about having been a “late bloomer” and being bullied, etc. (I don’t know, man; I tend to over share after flashbacks and after panic attacks)

Izuku tutors them in several subjects, but kami tutors them in English. Kiri just falls in love with his smart boyfriends

Izuku is teaching kami JSL and kami is helping izuku with English and Italian (personal headcanon that Italian has been one of kami’s special interests) kiri loves to listen to them, and finds it relaxing and calming to hear them do this. When he has panic attacks, he’ll ask them to tutor each other in different languages

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 14) - Keep Close

Summary: The Ackles have the Padalecki’s over for dinner and let it slip that they’re engaged. Things seem to be going well but the anniversary of the accident is coming up and the reader comes up with the Ackles taking their first vacation together as a means of distracting Jensen as well reconnecting with Ray...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of sex, mention of a dead parent/spouse, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

“I’m stuffed,” said Jensen that night, the kids running around playing soccer in the yard after dinner. 

“I need that chicken recipe,” said Jared.

“I’ll write it down for you guys,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “You can do it with breast too if you like that better.”

“I want exactly this like, everyday from now on,” said Jared. Gen rolled her eyes and Jensen pulled out his phone. “Want me to take a pic?”

“I don’t need your freakishly long arms just yet,” chuckled Jensen. He turned around and took one of the four of you at the table before handing off his phone. “Mind getting one of us?”

“Your mom harassing you for engagement photos already?” asked Gen.

“By the time we were leaving they were both asking for photos and being obnoxious. Better than they were though,” said Jensen, smiling beside you. Jared took a few more and handed the phone back. 

“I still can’t believe your parents would act like that,” said Gen. “I mean obviously I’m super happy it got fixed but that’s so unlike them.”

“They made a mistake is all,” you said with a smile. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to finish this beer in the pool.”

“I think I’ll join you,” said Jared. He stood up and had a look on his face you caught too late. Before you knew it he had you picked up and was jogging over to the deep end and jumping in with you.

“Jared!” you said when you popped up. He giggled and swam off to the shallow end. “After I helped pick up the plates ya big lug.”

“We got it,” said Jensen, carrying over two beer cans and handing them to you. “We’ll join you guys in a few.”

About ten minutes later Jensen was leaning against the side of the pool in his bright red swim trunks, handing you the other half of his cookie cake piece.

“So any big plans for the wedding?” asked Jared, sat on the pool steps with Gen.

“I have a thought,” you said, turning to Jensen. “I haven’t discussed it with Jensen yet.”

“Vegas. Shotgun wedding,” he laughed. You shook your head and he grinned. “You’re thinking the farm, aren’t you.”

“What do you think? It could be outdoor or indoor, whatever it needs to be depending on the weather.”

“I’d love that,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “That’d be perfect for us.”

“You own a farm?” asked Jared. 

“Yeah, ten minutes from the brewery.”

“Dudes. You can open bar with your own beer. Oh and dibs on being a groomsmen.”

“Like that wasn’t gonna happen,” said Jensen.

“I don’t know on that,” you said. Jared’s face fell and you shook your head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be one. Of course you would. I just don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. I think it’d be weird if Jensen had a ton and…”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” said Gen. “We didn’t have an even number at our wedding.”

“We got time to figure that stuff out,” said Jensen, holding your waist. You finished the last bite of cookie and hummed. 

“So you two having a kid?” asked Jared. Gen whacked his chest and he shrugged.

“Jesus, Jare. Don’t ask that.”

“They’re our best friends and godparents to our children...although I guess Y/N didn’t know that she inherited that until now but come on, I know you’re wondering too.”

“Shut up,” said Gen, crossing her arms. “Obviously if they decide, they’ll tell us when it happens.”

“Yeah, I think there’ll be at least one,” you laughed. Gen lit up and turned to Jared.

“Last time they said they were having a baby guess what we did? I can’t handle no more babies,” said Jared.

“Can you even get that thing up anymore?” teased Jensen, sipping on his beer.

“You’re one to talk, old man.”

“That shit still works just fine.”

“Just fine?” shot back Jared.

“Oh my God. You’re both good at sex. Y/N be grateful you’ve missed this same conversation over and over for the past sixteen odd years,” said Gen. 

“I’m still taller,” said Jared with a smirk.

“I can last longer,” said Jensen with one of his own. They narrowed their eyes at one another and Jared stood up.

“Go wrestle on the grass,” groaned Gen. They both huffed and got out of the pool before starting to playfully wrestle. “See, what you may not realize yet is you have another child right there.”

“Yeah but he’s hot,” you said, Gen laughing while you sat beside her. “Do you guys really talk about sex with each other?”

“Yes and no. The boys are you know, boys. They’d combust if they didn’t tease each other. I wouldn’t say there’s like, intimate details or anything ever shared. They’re both pretty private about that sort of thing. Dee and I would talk but more so say we had fun the night before. Shit we probably talked about sex toys more than anything.”

You stopped mid sip of your beer and she laughed.

“When your guy is thousands of miles away for that long out of the year, you gotta get off on your own. You get pretty good at phone sex too. You’re lucky. Jensen won’t be staying away so long ever again he said.”

“No, no. But uh...before Jensen I’d had the same boyfriend forever and he was as vanilla as could be. We didn’t do that stuff really together.”

“I can text you some links to stuff. It’s not like you have to go in some scary store or anything. It’s discrete and I think a small vibe would be great to start with. You can use it during sex or foreplay or whatever. Just you know, have fun.”

“Jensen and I kinda got busted by the cops a week or so back for...activities in the backseat,” you said. She started to laugh and you groaned. “Thankfully it was his friend that caught us so he let us off the hook but...it was kinda fun.”

“Good,” she said, sighing as Jensen pinned Jared down. “Hey so yeah about that wedding thing. Jared had two more groomsmen than I had girls. It doesn’t have to be matchy, matchy, you know?”

“I know. I don’t know if…” you trailed off. “I lost my friend group when I broke it off with my last boyfriend. We’d been together for over ten years and I kept turning down his proposals and they didn’t like that. I have some nanny friends but not a lot and no one I’m really close to. I don’t know if I’d even get more than five people to come for me. Everyone else is his family and friends and I didn’t think about that until just now. I mean what would they think, seeing that? I don’t know if I even want anyone there now.”

“I think what they’d see is someone they care about marrying someone he loves. Just because we’re Jensen’s friends doesn’t mean we’re not your friends too. I know we’re still getting to know each other but we’ll be as close as those two eventually. Ruthie was texting me and we’re having a girls night the next convention in Dallas. You literally have a built in crew ready to go from the show, the girls and the guys. You are so coming with me to the next night I have with my local girlfriends and you got our family. You even got Dee’s parents. You have more than you know, sweetie.”

“I never had a best friend growing up except for my mom. Until Jensen,” you said. “I’ve never really been good at the friend thing.”

“Were you bullied in school?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t tell anyone besides Jared but my dad wasn’t a good person. He hurt me and so I was afraid of getting in trouble so I didn’t talk to other kids all that much until I got old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong and that’s how I ended up being adopted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do anything about it now. But I can have it not control my life too. I’ve been pretty good since I was nine in that department. My mom dying sucked and things have been up and down but I like where I am now. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Jens’s not perfect.”

“I know. But he’s good enough. He gave me a certain confidence to live my life, like really live it.”

“He’s alright,” she smiled. “You know I have an idea about this bridesmaids thing you might like.”

“You?”

“Oh I would for sure but I meant more so I know two little girls that wouldn’t mind. Maybe there’s a boy too,” she said.

“I’m gonna need you to be my wedding planner at this rate,” you said.

“Job accepted,” she said. “I say we go farmhouse modern style.”

“Gen. I got engaged like two weeks ago. We have time,” you said. “We don’t even have a date.”

“At the very least can we go dress shopping?” she asked.

“I’m going to regret this,” you sighed as Jensen stepped back in the water.

“Get yourself a stronger man, Padalecki. That one is weak,” he said. Jared followed him right after and went to tackle him when Gen caught his arm.

“Boys, not in the water,” she said.

“Chicken?” asked Jensen.

“Losers pick up the tab for when we go out this weekend for dinner. Deal?” asked Jared.

“Well in that case, you’re on.”

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair while he absentmindedly burnt some eggs. “You okay babe?”

“Yeah. We ought to pack up the kids, get on the road soon if we’re gonna hit the beach.”

“I’m gonna drive, okay?” you asked. He nodded and you got out the eggs again, making up a new batch. “Do you want to talk to Ray?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, leaning back against the counter.

“Anniversaries of traumatic events can be triggering,” you said. “My mom died two days ago. Well, you know what I mean.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t trigger me anymore. But it did and this is the first time...the first one is the roughest.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ought to talk to him.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll give him a call and get the kids ready while you guys talk, okay?” you said.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed his cheek and hugged him before you went upstairs for your phone. It rang a few times but Ray finally answered, noise in the background.

“Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Hey. Yeah. We’re...we’re pretty good. Today’s the first anniversary of Jensen’s-”

“Ah. I understand.”

“Listen, I know it’s a Sunday and you don’t work the weekends but would you mind talking to him for a few minutes? We’re going down to Galveston for the week in a bit but he’s off this morning.”

“I’d talk to him even if he wasn’t your fiance but especially because of that. You know we’re actually down here ourselves for a few days. Just got down yesterday. If you guys are around...maybe we could get together for that swim.”

“I’d like that. You okay?” you asked.

“I always get a little down on the day but Sarah understands. You understand.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna put Jensen on and um, maybe we can meet at Arillo’s for dinner?”

“We got a reservation there ourselves tonight. How many in your crew? Five? I’ll call and ask for an update.”

“Yeah there’s five of us. Um, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being so horrible as a teenager after mom. You loved her as much as I did.”

“Thank you but you don’t have to apologize for that. You got too much pain in your life. I’m glad you found the good stuff too.”

“Are Geroge and Taylor there?” you asked.

“Yeah kids are here. Taylor’s got some internship but she does it online half the day and George is some research assistant thing for one of his professors but same kinda deal. We leave them to work in the morning while Sarah and I have some fun. Want me to let them know you’re coming?”

“Probably a good idea. Not sure how they’ll react,” you said, Jensen poking his head into the bedroom. “Here’s Jensen.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll see you guys soon.”

You handed the phone to Jensen and finished up packing while he sat on the bed. You tried to leave him be but couldn’t help listening in.

“Yeah I’m anxious...I don’t want her to drive down today...you know why...I guess...probably...I don’t want to be freaking out for three hours in the car...because it’s today...I know...I know...so I have to suck it up...I don’t want to have a panic attack in the car with the kids...no I haven’t...I’m scared I will though...yeah...I understand...dude that sounds so stupid...that’s not medically anything...no I don’t have my doctorate...I don’t wanna ask her...I said I don’t want to, not that I wouldn’t...I know...I will...maybe I’ll try that too...yeah, Y/N said the first year is the roughest too...I’ll let her be in charge until we get down to the beach today. I think I’ll feel better after the car...yeah I kinda figured out what she was doing planning a trip on today of all days...I need it...really? Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting up down there too...thanks Ray.”

You finished with your suitcase and had his open for him when he walked into the closet. He swallowed and handed your phone back.

“All good?” you asked.

“Ray thought it might be a good idea if I had something of yours with me on the way down, to keep on me since I’m...anxious this morning about being in a car.”

“Something of mine…” you said, looking at your side of the closet. “Why don’t you pack up and I’ll get you something before the road, okay?”

He nodded and twenty minutes and about three bathroom trips later the SUV was packed up. You hopped behind the wheel, Jensen tapping the arm rest from the passenger seat. 

“Here,” you said, reaching into your pocket, pulling out a bracelet. It was fabric, the kind made from craft string, white, rusty orange and a light tan color mixed together. 

“I’ve never seen this,” he said as he held it between his fingers.

“I got it on vacation with mom and Ray. Last one we went on,” you said, tying it around his wrist. “You have it.”

He stared at you as you turned the engine on, watching you backout. 

“This is too important for me to take,” he said quietly.

“It’s fabric. I want you to have it, okay?” you said, pulling onto the street and closing the gate. He nodded and you turned the radio on low. “Coffee run?”

“Yeah. Coffee sounds good right about now.”

You were only about fifteen or so minutes away from the beach house you’d rented. The kids were either taking naps in the backseats or watching a movie on the ipad. You risked a glance at Jensen, his fingers absently toying with the bracelet while he looked out the window, the radio on low. 

“How you doing big guy?” you asked as you pulled off to the exit ramp. 

“Pretty good now,” he said softly. 

“Mind navigating for me?” you asked. He hummed and picked up your phone from where it sat in the console the past few hours. About twenty minutes or so you were stretching outside of the car, Jensen opening the front door of the house with the code you’d been given. The kids climbed out and were good about each taking their own backpacks while you and Jensen gathered up the rest. 

“Come here,” he said, leaving the bags by his feet and kissing you against the side of the car. You grinned and he picked you up in a big squeezing hug. “I love you.”

“I know,” you said. He set you down and kissed you again. “You seem like yourself again.”

“I needed that push, get over that fear. But now, I can enjoy my day with my girl and my kiddos and apparently we are having dinner with Ray and his family tonight?” he asked.

“If that’s alright,” you said.

“One hundred percent,” he said, Arrow jumping up and down nearby. “Honey, go use the bathroom in the house if you have to go.”

“No I’m excited!” she said. “Can we go play on the beach? Pretty please?”

“Hm, give daddy fifteen minutes and then we can go?” he asked. She turned to you and grinned.

“We’ll go really soon sweetie. I promise.”

“Hey guys,” said Jensen an hour later, the five of you down on the beach and mostly watching them build a sandcastle together. “Y/N and I want to tell you something.”

“Is it that you guys are getting married?” asked JJ, patting some sand with her shovel. You glanced at Jensen and he shrugged. “You were talking to Aunt Gen and Uncle Jared about it last night, right?”

“Well, yes we were,” said Jensen. “I suppose we were a little louder than we thought. But yes, Y/N and I have decided to get married. We’re not sure when exactly but in the next year I can say.”

“So we have a mom again?” asked Arrow, fixing her corner of the castle that kept caving in.

“Well you guys are kinda lucky. You’ll get two moms,” he said. “How’s that sound?”

“We missed mom’s day,” she said with a sigh. “Right?”

“We’ll catch it next year, promise,” said Jensen. “Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“Do we call you mom now?” asked JJ. 

“You guys call me whatever you want,” you said.

“Can we call you mom?” she asked. You nodded and she went back to playing in the sand. 

“Anything else guys?” asked Jensen.

“Can I get a giraffe?” asked Zeppelin while he figured out how much water to add to the sand to get it to stick together.

“No sweetie. They wouldn’t fit at our house,” said Jensen. 

“Darn it,” he said.

“I can tell you’re all so invested in this topic,” chuckled Jensen.

“Oh! Can my flower girl dress be purple?” asked JJ. 

“Your dress can be whatever color you want it to be,” you said.

“Awesome,” she said. “Or black and purple. With lightning stripes.”

“Ah, I knew the classic rock would finally pay off,” said Jensen.

“Maybe Daddy’s suit can be black and white stripes, like a tiger,” you said.

“Like a White Snake music video more like it,” he laughed. “We’ll figure all that stuff out. We wanted to make sure you guys knew was all and if you have any questions or were nervous or anything you know you can ask either one of us.”

“Mom makes you happy again. Of course you gotta marry her!” said Arrow. “Oh and get her a pony. Girls like that.”

“Would you care for a pony, sweetheart?” asked Jensen as he shook his head. 

“Are we talking mustang kind of pony?” you asked.

“That’s my girl,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, kissing your cheek. “Let dad get a picture of you guys. We’re on vacation after all.”

Five Hours Later

“Jensen,” you said, changing into a light summer top and a pair of denim shorts after your shower. He was standing by his suitcase undressed, trailing his finger over his scar. “Honey?”

“A year ago was the worst day of my life and today was a really great one. I get to meet Ray more and even Sarah and the kids who all sound great and...I’m really happy I’m still here to see all this.”

“Me too,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Wear your red underwear.”

“Is that a request?”

“I like how you look when you take it off,” you said, gently smacking his ass as you went to go fix your hair.

“I am so grateful I found you,” he said to himself. You smiled and brushed your teeth quickly before checking yourself over and taking a selfie. You sat up on the counter and opened instagram, still silently grateful you’d always had it on private. There was nothing bad on it but Jensen and Jared had tagged you before and all of the comments always seemed to be negative.

“How do I look?” asked Jensen, walking in wearing a short sleeve navy button down and his red underwear.

“So sexy,” you giggled, Jensen digging through his other bag and finding his khaki shorts. 

“Can I get away with sneakers and a backwards baseball cap at this restaurant?” he asked.

“Totally. We always eat outside. It’s near the pier,” you said, putting up your post.

“Taking more pictures I can show off of you again?” he asked, grabbing your brush and getting some control of his damp hair back.

“Nobody even sees my instagram hardly,” you said.

“You know the internet knows we’re dating, right.”

“I’m pretty sure your fans still aren’t okay with that fact, even if they know.”

“Oh you’re mistaking the nutjobs for actual fans. The real ones, those guys are cool and nice. I actually got a lot of care packages and things from them last year. Still do. They really are good people. Those other ones that leave nasty comments? Fuck them. That shit don’t bother me anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying family and friends know. Can I show off the woman I love to the world?” You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in front of you, his head cocking. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Better late than never.”

“Okay,” he said. “For now though, I’m looking forward to this dinner.”

“I hope it goes well. It’s George and Taylor I’m more worried about. They were kids when I decided to stop coming around. I only knew them maybe two years, if even that. I know they were upset.”

“Give them some credit. Ray raised them too after all.”

“I’m all set!” said Zeppelin, walking into the bathroom with his paw patrol shirt and nothing else on.

“At least I was gonna wear underwear,” chuckled Jensen. “Little dude. Get some undies on and shorts in the next two minutes or else…” he trailed off as he came in and hugged Jensen’s leg. 

“I love you, daddy,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Can we get a giraffe now?” he asked. Jensen rolled his eyes and you released him.

“Let’s go finish getting you dressed, buddy.”

“So you guys were Sarah’s fosters?” asked Jensen towards the end of dinner, all three kids passed out asleep in the stroller or on the bench besides you while you picked at your shared dessert. Neither George or Taylor had said much aside from introducing themselves. 

“Guys,” said Ray, nudging Taylor. “I’m sorry for our children’s rudeness. I was afraid of this.”

“Shut up,” they both said, Sarah sighing.

“The kids were both big fans of Supernatural. They grew up watching it with me. It was something we bonded over at first in fact,” she said. 

“Oh,” said Jensen, a smirk forming on his face. “Sam or Dean girls? George come on buddy, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t happening,” said Taylor, her eyes squeezed shut.

“So you guys don’t want to hear about the movie, gotcha,” he said, both of them snapping their heads up.

“He really is a dork,” you said. 

“Movie?” asked George.

“Someday. You can count on it,” said Jensen. “Maybe I’ll go easy on you guys and ask what mom was?”

“You boys are a little young for my tastes but honestly the guy who played John was very attractive,” she said.

“Even I’d hit that,” said Ray, Sarah laughing to herself.

“You can see Ray wins his ladies over with his charm,” you said, glancing at Taylor and George. “Like you guys could literally ask anything you ever wanted about the show and get an unfiltered answer if you want.”

“Did you really keep the car?” asked George. Jensen nodded and held up his finger.

“When we’re back in town, you guys come over and you can take a spin in it,” he said.

“Okay, he’s cool with me,” said George. You cocked your head and he smiled. “That was the car from the show I always told you about.”

“Oh. I thought you were talking about batman or something,” you said, pursing your lips. “Sorry I wasn’t…”

“You always sucked at pretending to be happy,” said Taylor. You looked down and nodded. “We get it. You had to do your own thing.”

“Don’t hate me for leaving?”

“Maybe when we were little,” she said. “But we’re older and we get that you probably felt like a fifth wheel.”

“Yeah. A lot really,” you said. “It worked out though.”

“She’s a Dean girl by the way,” said Ray, cracking up as Taylor whacked his arm.

“Dad! Oh my God no I’m not! I like Sam!” she said.

“Want to talk to him?” grinned Jensen. Her face went red and you heard a quiet chuckle at the table. “You’re right, we’ll save that for in person.”

“You basically are marrying Dean Winchester without like, the trauma,” she said. Jensen tensed up but kept a smile on his face. You knew Ray caught it when he gave him a simple nod.

“Trauma’s not inherently bad,” said Ray. “Everyone at this table has gone through some.”

“I know, dad,” she said quietly. She looked at George and he nodded. “Our parents were in a house fire. So were we. I was five and Georgie was four.”

“She carried him out and went next door for help,” you said.

“I was in a car accident last year,” said Jensen. You turned your head. It wasn’t public knowledge that he was in the car. He’d flat out told you that aside from family and a few friends, no one besides you knew. “I almost died. My wife did but for other reasons. You can still have trauma and a really good life.”

“Very good point, Jensen,” said Ray. “You two rugrats wouldn’t be around if mom and I had moped around in our misery forever.”

“Was he always such a sap?” asked George.

“From the day I met him,” you said, Jensen grabbing your hand under the table. “Would you mind watching the kids for a second?”

“Not at all,” he said. You excused yourself and brought Jensen along with you, walking out to the beach area, the breeze cool but light.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I can talk about it now. I went from having the worst year of my life to one of the best. Nothing bad’s gonna happen for saying what really happened. I want to let all that shit go and have the rest of that really good life I was talking about.”

“For someone who keeps a lot inside I sure have noticed a difference in you the past few weeks.”

“To quote both of the loves of my life, I gotta let that shit out more regularly,” he said. You smiled and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, giving him a kiss. 

“You know that’s what we call growth, babe.”

“I very easily could have gone the opposite way this year.”

“But you didn’t, cause you tried even though it sucks sometimes. I love you but I extra love happy you and you’re definitely a happier guy now than when I met you.”

“So are you, honey,” he said. “Must make a pretty good team or something.”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“We should honestly get like, married or something, you know?” he teased.

“First I have to know though, are you willing to do cookie cake for a wedding cake?”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “The real questions is, are you willing to deal with the eventual dad bod that will happen as a result?”

“I love this bod, but I don’t love you for this bod,” you said. 

“Thank you for today,” he said softly. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. He grinned and kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly. “What are best friends for?”

“Everything?”

“Hell yeah they are Ackles.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 15 here!

[goldenmaybank]

meant to be

(not my gif)

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been in love with her best friend, jj maybank, for years and now has to watch him fall in love with another girl, who is a kook.

warnings: swearing and slight angst (?)

word count: 4k (it’s a long one) 

a/n: hi! this is my first imagine and i hope you like it. i know it’s a long one i just got carried away :)

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. 1051200 minutes.

that's how long i've had to watch the guy i'm in love with be with another girl. two long years of seeing them kiss, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates and anniversaries. all because i was too scared to tell my best friend that i loved him.

two years ago

" yo, y/n ! y/n ! guess what just happened." my best friend since we were kids, jj, said as he ran up to me.

"what?"

"you remember that girl, shay, that i was telling you about? that kook that i met at the kegger last weekend with the long blonde hair, green eyes, slim waist, and fat as-"

"yes, yes. jj i remember." i said cutting him off from finishing his sentence.

"so, i just asked her out and guess what? she said yes!" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay."

"okay? that's all i get? an okay? y/n, this is the hottest kook i’ve ever seen that we're talking about here."

"yeah and last week kate was the hottest kook and the week before that was penelope. this is nothing new j. it's just another pretty girl with big boobs and a nice ass that you'll mess around with for a few weeks maybe even days and then move onto the next girl."

"no y/n, this time is different. it feels different."

"mhm sure" i say not convinced

this is what jj does. he meets a cute kook girl or touron at one our parties, they hook up for a few days or weeks, and he moves onto to the next one. this was no different. however, in that moment, i didn't realize how serious he really was about her until it was too late.

few months after

jj and i were laying on john b’s couch watching movies like we always do every friday night. we've been doing this since we were little kids, usually the rest of the pogues would join us, but they’re all busy tonight. john b is with sarah, kie is working, and pope is helping out his dad. so that just leaves me and jj together.

"um, y/n?"

"hm?" i asked in response

"would you mind if i ended our movie night a little bit early?"

"why?"

"because shay just got off work early tonight and wants to hang out. she's been really busy lately, so we haven't gotten the chance to hang out as much. would you be okay if i left to go see her?”

"um, sure. i guess i can just rewatch friday the 13th again without you."

"really? you're the best! thanks." he said jumping up excitedly to put on his shoes and grab his hoodie, " i mean it's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times already, you'll be fine without me."

"i kinda wanted you here, but i guess she's more important" i mumbled under my breath

"huh?"

"n-nothing. uh, j can i ask you something before you go?"

"yeah sure, but it can't take too long shay is waiting for me."

"are you serious about her? like really serious?"

"yeah, i guess i am. i don't know i've never really felt this way about a girl before. she just makes me feel so happy and i always want to be around her and spend time with her. i usually just get bored with girls after a while and break up with them, but it's different with her. it's something about her i can't explain it." he said with admiration in his eyes.

that's when i knew it was too late. i could see the way his eyes lit up when i mentioned her and how he talked about her with such admiration. he was head over heels for this girl and who am i to step in and ruin it by telling him my feelings. he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings anyways she's the only girl he's felt like this about. i never had a chance against her. i will never be her.

after that day i didn’t see jj for three weeks. he cancelled every single one our plans because of her. “i cant go surfing today, shay wants to go get lunch” “can’t go fishing, shay needs me” “cant make it to the boneyard tonight, shay wants to have a movie night” he bailed on us, on me, all week because of her. the kook girl he just met a few months ago. 

finally, after countless begging and excuses jj came to hang out with us at john b’s house. we were all laying on the hammocks outside watching the sunset and for a minute it felt like everything was how it used to be even though i knew it wasn't. you could feel that everything was different especially between me and jj. he wasn't his usual flirty, touchy self with me and the tension in the air was thick. the rest of the pogues tried to act like everything was normal, but we all knew after today it would be another few weeks before we saw jj again. all he did was hang out with shay and he barely had any time for us anymore.

“so, jj since when did you start dating kooks?” john b snickered as jj punched his arm

“since when did you start dating at all?” pope replied

“i don’t know, man. it’s just different with her, i guess. i never thought i could be capable enough to have a relationship, but she changed that. she changed me.” 

kie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. she was the only one who knew about my love for jj. i spent so many nights crying to her about my feelings for him and how i wish things could be different between us. it took a lot to get jj to open up to me, especially about his dad, and i always wanted to be the one he could go to for anything. i was the one who patched him up after a fight with rafe, i was the one who hugged him as he cried to me about his dad, i was the one who went along with his crazy ideas, i was one who did everything i could to get him to love me the way i love him. but i guess things don’t work out the way you want them to. i give kie and a nod and smile letting her know i’m okay. as long as jj is happy that’s all that matters to me. i would do anything to make him happy, even if it means i have to watch him fall in love with another girl.

present 

6 years. 2190 days. 52560 hours. 3153600 minutes.

that's how long the love of my life has been with his girlfriend. six long years of me trying to get over him and find someone else yet i could never get that boy with blonde hair and blue eyes out of my mind. he followed me everywhere i went even when i wasn't with him. he's everything i want in a guy yet i can't have him because he's not mine to have. he's someone else's and now i definitely can't do anything about it because they're getting married today.

today is their wedding and of course they invited me and the rest of the pogues. i debated even going and just letting kie give them my present with my pathetic excuse for why i wasn't there, but after talking to jj about the wedding the other day i couldn’t not go. "i could never have my wedding without you there, y/n. you're one of the most important people in my life." is what he told me. if i was strong i wouldn't care and still not go, but i'm not. all i had to do was look in his eyes when he told me that and i was puddy in his hands. there's no way i can't go and let him down like that. he means way too much to me to hurt him just to spare my own feelings. 

i walked into the venue looking around at the setup. of course the kook princess wanted a fairy-tale wedding. i sigh as i look at all the expensive decorations everywhere. i always imagined what my wedding with jj would be like. definitely wouldn’t look anything like this. even after years of all my hard work and schooling i still could never afford something like this. i always thought we’d have our ceremony by the beach since that’s where we first met when we were little kids and spent all our time together. it became our little safe space to get away from everyone and all our problems, and just be together. just me and jj. 

“gotta admit it looks beautiful.” pope says as kie hits his shoulder

“it’s okay, kie. he’s right, it is beautiful. more than i could've ever given him.”

“hey” kie says as she grabs my hand, “you sure you’re okay? because we can leave right now. trust me, i really don’t care to see the little princess wearing a dress that costs ten times the amount of my house.”

“it’s fine, kie. we have to be here for him. i’m just gonna go talk to jj quickly.”

“okay, i’ll save a seat for you.”

i went towards the back to find where jj is, so i could give him something before the ceremony started.

"knock knock." i say as i opened the door to jj’s room walking in to see him finishing getting ready.

"hey you. i almost thought you weren't gonna come."

"now why would i miss my best friend getting married to the girl of his dreams? i would never miss this no matter what"

"good because i know i would never be able to do this without you here."

"so.." i say as i sit down next to him, "how does it feel to finally be getting married?”

"it feels unreal. i never thought this day would come. and if it did, i honestly thought you would be the one standing at the end of the aisle"

"yeah, so did i" i say as i laugh weakly.

"i remember we had this whole thing planned out as kids. we were gonna get married on the beach, preferably the bahamas, but you know any beach would’ve worked for us. 

"and we were gonna have this huge reception and have our friends give sappy speeches talking about how we've been friends forever and despite the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule we still ended up together and got married." i added.

"and our honeymoon was gonna be in mykonos. we were gonna get a suite with a pool and relax all day and then turn up at night at the clubs there." he said as we both laughed.

"wow. we had a lot of plans when we were younger."

"we really did, but i guess none of them really worked out huh?"

"i guess not"

we sat in silence for a moment thoughts both roaming our minds about how we ended up here. best friends since we were little, spent all our time together, always acted like a couple, and yet here we are sitting in this room minutes before he gets married to a girl who isn't me, a kook nonetheless. it's now or never. do i let him know how i feel and finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders or just keep it to myself and let them be happy?

"uh, j? i- um, wrote this letter for you" i say as i take an envelope out of my purse, "it was the original speech that i wanted to tell you at the reception later but felt as though it wouldn't have been right to say, so i just wrote it for you to see. just, don't open it in front of shay, please."

"why can't you just tell me what's in the letter in your speech later?"

"because i would be a shit person if i say what's in that letter at your wedding reception in front of everyone."

"what's in the letter that's so bad?" he asked confusingly

"j-just read it when you're alone, okay?"

"no"

"no?"

"no. just tell me now what's in the letter."

"jj, i-i can't."

"yes you can. what's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"i don't want to overstep my boundaries or ruin anything or make anything awkward, so just read it later when you're alone."

"no, y/n. tell me right now."

"jj, your wedding starts in a few minutes you need to finish getting ready. we don't have time for this."

"yes we do. i always have time for you."

"jj-"

"no. i'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"j, don't be difficult."

"i'm not being difficult just read me the letter and this will all be done with"

i sighed, "oh my god fine. i'll read you the damn thing." i take a deep breath and begin to read the letter that might just change everything between us.

"dear jj, i'm not sure when exactly you'll be reading this, but i know when you do you'll be happily married to shay. so, congratulations best friend you're finally someone's husband. i honestly never thought this day would come; you were never one for relationships. always thought it was too much work to handle and you already had enough shit to deal with in your life. remember when we were little we made a promise that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time we were 30 we would get married. as silly as it was i always thought that would happen. that we would be the ones getting married and have our best friends write a speech for us. i'd always imagine kie writing mine and john b and pope would write yours, mainly pope though because we all know he’s way better with words than any of us ever were. but i never once in a million years would think i would be writing one for you and another girl. we've been through so many ups and downs and we still stuck together through it all. you're my best friend and i love you. words can't even describe how much i love you. jj, you've brought me so much happiness and never fail to put a smile on my face. even during my worst times you were always there to pick up the pieces and make me laugh. i never thought i would have someone in my life who means so much to me as much as you do. being around you immediately makes my day a hundred times better and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. my life would've probably been extremely boring and plain without you and your crazy adventures. your smile can make anyone's day better and you always make sure everyone else is happy even before yourself. and that's one of the many reasons why i'm in love with you. yes, i'm in love with you and have been for a while. this is more than a just as friends thing. i'm completely and utterly in love with you and that's never gonna change. and i know it took you a while to believe that someone could truly love and care for you, but i always have and always will. you so deserve so much than life has given you and i hope you know how amazing you really are. i’ve become such a better person because of you and you make me so incredibly happy. i'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me. i love you so much. i hope you're happy in your marriage and she treats you right, which i know she does. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. even though i just dropped this huge bomb on you, please don't let this affect our friendship. i will always be here for you no matter what. i love you, jj maybank."

there was complete silence. jj just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word.

"see this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you in person because i knew this would happen. i-"

"you love me?"

"yes, j i do."

"like actually love me?"

i sighed, "yes and i have for a while as i said in the letter"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"i don't know i was always so scared to and i thought you would never really find someone, so i had nothing to lose by not telling you. and then you started dating shay and i could tell you were really happy with her and by the time i realized you two were serious it was too late. i didn't want to step in and ruin anything or lose our friendship."

"you wouldn't have."

"what?"

"you wouldn't have ruined our friendship because i felt the same way. i still feel the same way." jj admitted

"you, what?"

"i love you y/n and as more than just friends. i have since freshmen year of high school when i first told you about my dad and you cleaned up all my cuts and held me in your arms all night. but i was just always too scared to say anything because i thought you were out of my league and i never really deserved you. the only reason i was with all those girls was to forget about you and get rid of my feelings for you, but they never did go away."

"i guess we're both stupid then. we always had these feelings for each other and just never said it."

"i guess so."

"so, what does this mean for us?"

"what do you mean?" jj asked

"i mean this obviously changes things, so what are we gonna do?"

"i don't see why things have to change. yeah we admitted we have these feelings, but that doesn't change anything."

"you're getting married, jj. in like twenty minutes there's gonna be another girl waiting at the end of that aisle for you to go there and give yourself completely to her. and i don't want to stand in the way of giving you and her that happiness you both deserve. me still being here is gonna change things because things are different now whether you want to believe it or not. these feelings are out there and they're still relevant. and i'm not gonna sit here and watch you two be happy and in love and be on the sidelines and feel like shit. i don't deserve that. i don't deserve to have my heart broken seeing you together knowing you have feelings for me and yet i can't do a damn thing about it. and it's not fair to her either to have another woman who you have feelings for sit there and get in the way of her happiness. i'm not gonna ruin this for her, jj. i won't. shay has been nothing but sweet to me and i'm not gonna do that to her. she doesn't deserve it and neither do i."

"so what do you want me to do then?"

"i want you to let me go."

"what? y/n, i love you. you can't tell me to do that"

"let me go, jj. as long as you sit here and tell me that you love me and have feelings for me, this will never end. and we will be going around in circles and i've been stepping on eggshells long enough for you and i'm done. you love her and she loves you, so be happy with her."

"but i love you too y/n and that's never gonna stop." he says with tears in his eyes.

"i know and i will always love you too, but i can't keep doing this. i can't watch you be with her and not be able to do anything. i can't be able to be alone with you knowing how you feel and not do anything to you. you don't know how badly i've just been wanting to kiss you after hearing you say those words to me. you don't know how bad i want this, but jj i can't do this" i say tears running down my face.

"i'll end it then. i'll cancel the wedding and we can be together."

"no. no, jj you can't do that. i'm not gonna ruin this. you've been with her for six years already, you've created this beautiful relationship and commitment to each other and i'm not just gonna ruin that. she's doesn't deserve that. you just need to let me go, jj. let me get over you because the more i'm around you the more the feelings grow. just let me find happiness within someone else.”

"so what? we're just gonna end our friendship? our years and years of friendship is over just like that? i don't want to lose you. if i cant have you in that way, even though i want to so badly, i still want you in my life as a friend."

"but i can't jj. i can't be around you. please, just let me go. let me get over you and find someone else. maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll find our way back to each other and maybe things can work out differently but for now just let me go." i say as my voice breaks

he sighed, "fine, i'll let you go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"what is it?"

"kiss me."

"w-what?"

"kiss me. i've been waiting years to tell you how i feel about you and finally be able to hold you and kiss you, so please just let me do it."

"jj, i don't know" i say hesitantly

"shay never has to know about this and once we kiss it's over. i'll let you go."

"if i kiss you, you'll let me go?"

"yes."

i sighed looking at jj. i actually got a good look of him right now in this moment. he looks so broken. dried tears streamed down his face, his eyes are puffy, and nose is red, but yet he still looks beautiful. no words can describe how jj looks. "cute" or "hot" never did this man justice. he was beautiful both inside and out and that's why i fell in love with him years ago. and as i started to lean it looking in his eyes all the memories we've made together came flashing through my mind all at once. this is really it. after this i'm actually leaving my best friend, who's the love of my life, to move on with my life.

moments later i felt his soft pink lips mold against mine. our lips moved in sync in such a way i have never felt with anyone else before. there was something about the way his lips moved against mine in such a passionate and loving way that i've never felt before. my stomach was immediately filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. all i could do was be in this moment with him. a few moments later it ended leaving both of us breathless. we stared at each other in awe not knowing a simple goodbye kiss would make us feel this way.

"wow. i've been waiting for this kiss for so long and i never knew it would feel like that." jj said

"neither did i.”

as much as i didn't want to, i knew what had to be done next. i stood up grabbing my bag and walked towards the door.

"so this is really it? you're just leaving now. after what we just felt in that kiss you're still gonna leave?" jj asked

"you know i have to."

"no, you don't have to. you want to, there's a difference. but it’s fine you’re just gonna leave just everyone else does, huh?”

don't turn back now. i know what he’s trying to do. he knows how the last thing i ever wanted to do was leave him like countless of other people in his life have done. but don’t let his words get to you. don't turn back now. the decision is already made. if i go back now i'll never leave and end up in the same cycle again.

i turn around one last time to look at my best friend, "i'm sorry. goodbye, jj."

that was the last time i saw jj.

after that i left the venue without saying anything to anyone. i got a ton of calls from kie, pope, and john b asking me where i was. i know they all eventually found out how i felt about him, which sometimes makes me wonder how he never knew, but then again i'm pretty sure they knew he had feelings for me too and i still never noticed. it's crazy how that happens. you could spend every moment of every day with someone and still be so oblivious to how they really feel about you. i guess i was just so caught up in my feelings for him i never noticed all the signs he showed of liking me back.

they always say what’s meant to be will be no matter how long it takes whether it's a day, a month, or a year. well i never really believed in that until now. years later after i walked out of that room, now stood face to face with the guy who was and still is my everything.

[suggiebabe]

Some MHA Boys AND Girls Getting Jealous

A/N: Oh hey there ;)))))) POSTING 2 DAYS IN A ROW??? WHO AM I LOL!!! I’m not sure if I’d post tomorrow though cause I have some lessons to take care of!! But enjoy these headcanons (that’s literally all I do, I am so sorry LMAO)!!!! I’m doing boys AND girls, so lets get it! Its my first time writing for the girlies!!!!

Pairings: Kaminari, Uraraka, Tsu, Kirishima, Momo x Reader

Warnings: Slight Angst but with a happy ending

The two of you decided to go to the beach for the weekend because why not! You had some alone time together, and this was the perfect way to spend it

On the train ride there, it was going perfectly, no one you two knew was coming, so it was guaranteed that there would be no distractions

Or so you thought..

As soon as you got to the beach, you went to change into your bathing suit, and he went to go change into his 

When you came out, he wasn’t ready yet, so you decided to sit on the bench outside of the restrooms

That’s when the familiar sight of green hair appeared in front of you

“Hey Y/N! Came out to enjoy the beach? Who are you here with?” he asked sitting down next to you

“Oh hey Deku! I’m here with Denki, we just thought it be fun to have a beach date!” you said, smiling at him, “who are you here with?”

“I came with Iida, the two of us were gonna get some training done out here. So wheres Kaminari? he asked looking around for the blond 

“He’s still changing, he should be out in a little. Oh look! There he is!” You stood up and waved him down, as soon as he saw the two of you, he frowned

“Whoa whats up with that face?”  Deku asked mildly confused as to why Kaminari wasn’t happy to see him

As he was walking towards you two, Iida also emerged from the bathrooms and called Deku over.

“Come on Deku! We don’t have time to waste! Lets proceed with out schedule!” Iida shouted

Deku said bye to you and Kaminari, and went on his way with Iida, and as soon as they left, Kaminari pulled you into a hug

“I can’t believe Deku saw you in a bathing suit before me... thats so unfair!” 

You smiled at him and patted his head, “he may have seen me, but he doesn’t get to spend the day with me! Now c’mon jealous boy, lets go have some fun!” you said, pulling him towards the water

“I’m not jealous!” he said under his breath

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, now lets build the biggest sand castle ever!” 

He laughed, and got to building

It was your 7 month anniversary, and the two of you had decided to have a movie night in Ochacos dorm since you couldn’t leave the campus

The idea made you two extremely excited since you haven’t been able to have quality time together in a while due to hero work

The school day was rather normal, except Ochaco noticed that during lunch, Shouto seemed to have a lot of your attention. 

She would wrap her arm around yours, and you would pay little attention to it,continuing to talk with Shouto. The two of you extremely invested in the conversation you were having, so invested to the point where you didn’t even notice Ochacos glare towards Shouto

He got the hint, and slowly ended the conversation so there wouldn’t be any trouble, especially on your anniversary

After lunch, the two of you could hardly hold in your excitement for the rest of your classes.

After school, you both agreed to meet at her room at 7 pm to watch the movies you had picked out. You were in charge of the movies, while she was in charge of snacks

When you arrived, she welcomed you with a kiss, and the two of you got settled on her bed

“So what’d you pick out for us Y/N?” she asked, holding your hand in hers

“Well, I have a couple, but I wanted to watch this one first! Shouto recommended it to me, and it sounds really good!” you said squeezing her hands

Her smile turned into a frown, “So Shoutos your number 1 best friend now or what? You’ve been hanging out with his so much lately!” she said while pouting

You giggled at her cute expression, “Bun, are you jealous? Well fear not, because the reason I have been talking to Shouto a lot is because I know his taste in movies is so great! I wanted this night to be perfect for us!” 

‘Oh.. really?” she said, her pout turning into a smile

“Yes really, now lets watch this movie, he said it’d have you on the edge of your seat the whole time!” 

She blushed and then pressed play “I may have been a little jealous...” she said quietly

“I know” you said kissing her cheek

You and Tsu had always sat together for lunch, so when you approached her to tell her you had to go to the library with Ojiro to study for a quiz, she was a bit bothered, but she didn’t let it show

You promised her that you would walk with her to class when lunch was over, so that was a trade she was willing to make

Lunch without you was boring, but she was looking forward to the period ending so she can walk with you

When the bell rang, she waited for you, but you never came. After waiting a while she walked to class, she didn’t want to be tardy

1 minute before the bell you and Ojiro came running into the room, with your stuff in your hands, you two laughed as you went to sit at your desks

To say Tsu was bothered would be an understatement. Did you really forget to meet with her? Did she really not cross your mind?

Your mind was so occupied with the quiz, that you had completely forgotten about walking with Tsu. You looked at her, and made eye contact, but she quickly broke it, looking down at her desk. Your heart ached

After class you approached her and began profusely apologizing 

“Tsu! I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about our agreement!” you said pulling at her hand

She looked at you with a frustrated look in her eyes, “was Ojiro really that much more entertaining? How could you forget about your GIRLFRIEND?” she said frowning, but she didn’t pull away

You squeezed her hand, “Tsu, Ojiro wasn’t on my mind at all! It was this stupid quiz we had to take... I completely forgot about anything else.. I would never think about anyone more than I think about you, silly!” 

She smiled a bit, “Okay, well then prove it. After school, my dorm, movies and cuddles!” 

You smiled at her cuteness, “alright alright alright, if that’s what it takes for you to forgive me, then I’ll give it to you”

She kissed you on the cheek and you both walked to hero training, tonight was going to be fun

Of course you two are workout buddies, that’s how your relationship started in the first place!

The two of you agreed to workout after school in the dorm gyms to distract yourselves from the upcoming finals exams

After school, the two of you came up with a schedule to meet up an hour after school ended to walk to the gym, and get some work done

Everything went according to plan, and the two of you were able to get to the gym before anyone else

You and Kirishima don’t really workout together, but you workout in the same room, so it kind of made sense

You two started your own workout routines, and it kept you both pretty busy.

His routine differed on certain days, and today's workout seemed to take a bit longer than it usually did, so you decided to do another one of your workouts, a new one

This routine had some things you hadn’t done before, so you had trouble with a few of the steps, but got the hang of it for the most part

Except for 1. Pike push ups. 

You had tried to get Kirishimas attention, but he was so immersed in his own routine, he failed to hear you calling for his help

Lucky for you, Bakugou had just entered the gym, so you decided to ask him for help

After some argument, he finally agreed to teach you how to do it

“It’s just a push up, except you have your ass in the air, stupid” he said showing you his form

While the two of you were interacting, Kirishima looked in the mirror and saw you with your butt in the air next to Bakugou and immediately went to see what was up

By the time Kirishima was walking towards you guys, Bakugou left, and you were able to focus on yourself. 

As you were in position, you looked up to find your frowning boyfriend looking down at you

“What was that?” he asked crossing his arms

“Kiri, Bakugou was just showing me how to do some pike push ups, nothing weird” you said crossing your arms “I tried to get you to help me, but you were too busy..” you said pouting

“Awh babe, I’m never too busy for you, just come tap on me next time, and I’ll help you for sure!” he said giving you two thumbs up

You smiled at him, and nodded “alright, but you better always be prepared!” 

“I will, I will...” he said sitting down next to you, “So these pike push ups..”

It was midterms time again, and you had asked Momo for some help sine your English grade was SUFFERING!

Her being the lovely girlfriend she is, accepted your proposal happily since it was also just an excuse for the two of you to have some time together

Too bad for the both of you though, because other people in class heard, and immediately started asking for Momos tutoring as well

She couldn’t refuse, because she wants the best for everyone, and you were fine with that!

Time skip to after school when you were all walking to her dorm together

Mina was holding your arm and the two of you were talking about a new anime that had just come out

When Momo saw the two of you practically glued together and laughing with each other, she felt a jab in her heart, but she decided to ignore it

During the study session, you and Mina kept talking about the anime, and Momo was getting kind of fed up with the lack of attention you were giving her

“Excuse me, (Y/N) and Mina, could you two please pay attention? This chapter is important..” she said sternly, with made you both shut up right away

After the study session, you approached Momo after everyone had left

“Hey, are you ok? You sounded a little mad back there...” you said while playing with your thumbs on her bed

She sat next to you and grabbed one of your hands to hold, ”I apologize for my actions, but I guess i just got a little jealous over how close you and Mina were..” 

You looked up at her surprised, “Oh my goodness! Momo I’m sorry! I didnt realize!” you said while going to hug her

She hugged you back and the two of you fell back onto her bed

“Cuddles?” you asked in hopes to make it up to her

“Cuddles.” she said squeezing you tighter

Another A/N: Hey guys! Sorry some might be a little longer than others, I just had more ideas for that character! Today I discovered that my computer is a little waterproof after spilling a whole cup of water over it! Thank u computer gods for letting me write this post!

[loudsuitlover]

Hii hope you are doing good could you write a thing about harry proposing to indie?

Hi! Thank you to this lovely anon for sending this. Today was the second worst day of my life and this was the only thing that kept me from goind absolutely crazy. I hope it’s not terrible. 

He had known way before he had said anything to her and he had never thought about marriage before meeting her. As a matter of fact, if he had thought of anything related to marriage, he had just thought about how he did not want to marry for all he knew about marriage was how wrong it could go and he did not want that. But then…

He would say it was that day he stared at her as she stood on the seashore on her bikini watching the waves and this little, tiny toddler mistook her for his mother and he held her hand and she looked down at him and he panicked and removed his hand immediately but Blue laughed and then she said “I’m pretty sure your mommy’s there” as she pointed at a woman that was chuckling and staring at the little boy. And then she had come back to their towel where Harry was sitting down and she had asked “did you see that?” and he said “yeah” and in that moment he knew she wasn’t a mommy then but she’d be one day and that little toddler would be his too then.

So ever since then, whenever she brought him a cup of coffee to the office or whenever he told anyone at work that doctor Anderson was his girlfriend, he thought to himself that she was so much more than that and ever since then too, the word wife had a different meaning entirely. For his wife would be her and his wife would make custard for family dinners because she didn’t like flour she’d say, and his wife would devour pancakes anyway. And his wife would like white flowers like daisies but she would grow roses on the garden and she would listen to Spanish rock and drink her tea with a bit of milk. And she would get him way too many presents for Christmas and she would think of his as too many too and she would do all the things she did then- like never being late to work and never doing the dishes right after eating like he liked to- only being his wife.

And he would be her husband and people would ask him where’s Blue? Is she coming? Because they would know he knows because he would be her husband and he would know those things. And he will always be allowed in her room without further questioning and he had seen that- people in the hospital crying at someone’s door and swearing they’re the boyfriend or the girlfriend of the patient from the car crash- but that won’t be his case because he never wanted this to happen but if fate was to bring that upon him and the flame of her would be at risk, then he would say I’m her husband and he would get in, wherever she is, whenever that is. And she would told the new surgical interns “that’s doctor Styles, my husband” and she would wear a white gown as she made her way to him.

But he didn’t tell her anything, because by the time he had realized all those things, she was twenty-five years old and he knew she was a keeper and he knew she loved him but her parents had gotten a divorce, just like his, and she thought marriage was just a piece of paper- she had told him that. He also knew that was what she said so she didn’t have to tell him that she always thought she was going to marry someone that existed no more.

And it wasn’t until a little over a year later at their 5th anniversary when he had gotten her a necklace out of the blue. They had never gifted each other anything for their anniversary after the first year when he told her it sort of felt as if giving each other a present, they were congratulating the other on holding on and he didn’t like that and she had just laughed it off and said she didn’t want any presents anyway; but that year, she had lost her necklace two weeks prior. She had worn that necklace every day ever since he met her and she had told him it had been a casual present from her mother- they were having a walk at an arts and crafts market years prior and she saw it and liked it and her mum got it for her- and even if it was a mindless act of her, it meant all the more to her for she just bought it because she liked it and she thought that was endearing and she thought it held the meaning of a mum-daughter relationship because it meant getting stuff or being there every single day, every single minute, not for anything in particular, but just because she was her mum and she was her daughter. And so when she lost it- she had lost it in a park because Gemma’s son had pulled from it and the pendant had landed on the floor and she never saw it again- even though she said it was okay, he knew it mattered. And so that year he got her a gift, just a little necklace with a little blue stone and she had loved it and her eyes had gotten teary because she knew what he had done and it wasn’t until hours afterwards, when they were lying in bed naked that she, playing with the stone between her fingers, had let him know.

“Wanna hear something funny?” She had started.

“Sure.”

“When I saw the little velvety box, I thought it was something else.”

He gave her a look then and she let out a nervous giggle but the pink on her cheeks gave her away.

“What?” He smirked.

She knew he knew so she shrugged and the smirk on his lips brought one to hers and she spoke.

“Thought it was a ring.”

He nodded.

“You thought I was proposing, hey?”

“I did, yeah.” She chuckled. “It’s silly.”

“Well, what would you have said?”

It was her then who gave him a look and it was in that moment that he knew she was ready. He could read her emotions like an opened book, although he was never able to tell what she was thinking; but what she was feeling was a different thing and it was out there for him to behold. But he still waited for her answer.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She laughed. “That would be cheating. If you ever ask me, I want you to take the risk.”

“Baby, I don’t think anyone really takes a risk.” He laughed. “I think when someone proposes, they’re pretty sure the other person is going to say yes. Otherwise they would save themselves the embarrassment.”

“There goes Mr Romantic ruining every proposition ever made.” She rolled her eyes but he laughed.

“Oh, no, please don’t tell me you’re one of those girls! You want it to be big? You want me to like hire a ride on a hot-air balloon or some cheesy thing like that?”

“What? No!” She laughed along. “If you do that, I’m jumping from the hot-air balloon.”

“Plus, there has to be someone else on the hot-air balloon, you know? That’s awkward and you know I’m not that tacky.”

She shook her head but deep down she was wondering if he had really considered that and she also wondered if he had ever thought about marrying her because she had never really thought about it until that evening but the second he handed her the velvety box her heart started pounding and her mind was going yes, yes, yes even before she knew what there was inside.

“So you’re gonna ask?” She smirked and then it was her smirk that was contagious and so he hovered her and he leaned in closer and closer until he was whispering against her lips.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

And she laughed before he kissed her.

Yet he still waited for another five months and eighteen months after he first realized he wanted to marry her, the ring had been burning on his pocket for a week. They had taken a trip to Spain to visit her family and he had tried to propose, about fifty times, but his own words came biting back at his own ass, when he said nobody really took the risk… Then why was he feeling so nervous? She was going to say yes.

But what if she didn’t?

What if she thought it was a joke?

Or worse, what if she panicked and left?

“Cariño, ¿me pasas el azúcar, por favor?” (Baby, can I have the sugar, please?)

He looked up at her and he handed her the sugar for her coffee and she still took a second to stare at her. She had recently donated her hair so it was very short then, over her shoulders, and she hadn’t particularly liked it but he thought she looked somehow even prettier and he wanted to ask her, he wanted to ask her so bad, but he was never brave enough.

“¿Qué pasa?” (What’s wrong?) She smirked.

“¿Qué pasa?”

“¿Por qué me miras así?” (Why are you looking at me like that?)

He smirked and shrugged- telling her implied admitting he wanted to marry her so bad- so she just shook her head and chuckled but her laughter died sooner than usual because really she had been a little freaked out by him the last few days.

“You really have been acting weird lately.” She noticed as she stirred her coffee. “I’ve been… I’ve been meaning to ask you… Is there something wrong?”

“Something wrong?” He frowned. “How do you mean?”

Her hazel eyes looked up at his and only then he found out she was actually worried so his frown only grew harder. He couldn’t believe he was so stupid. He could ask her at the beach in Spain, or he could have asked her on her grandad’s garden, or he could ask her that one time they went one to dinner to this nice restaurant near the sea; but instead he had her worrying that there was something wrong.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’ve been trying to figure you out but I really don’t know what can possibly be going on, love. I’m sorry but… If you want me to do something, you’re gonna have to tell me.”

“Marry me.” He blurted out.

He froze. So did she. Her hazel eyes opened wide as she stared at him and she was almost shaking. Why would he say it like that? That was possibly the opposite of a romantic proposal. He wasn’t on his knee and he wasn’t wearing a shirt and the ring was up in their room but she was doubting herself and she was about to doubt him and he wasn’t controlling his tongue when it said that.

“What?” She giggled.

“I… I love you, Blue; like I’ve never loved anyone before and… I look at you and I just wish I can see you grow old, you know? That’s… That’s what I want because I look up to you and I am just at awe at the person that you are and the things that you do and the things that you say and I just want you to be my wife. And I’ve been trying to ask you all week, I was carrying the ring and all, but nothing seemed good enough, I was so nervous, it’s ridiculous, I-“

But she had let the coffee cup on the counter and she had walked around the kitchen island between them and she had threw her arms around his neck and had silent him pressing her lips against his. And even though he was still in shock, he had held her waist and was kissing her back and he could feel her teeth for she wouldn’t stop smiling but she couldn’t stop kissing him either.

“Is this a yes?” He still timidly asked. “Or are these consolation kisses?”

“¡Pues claro que es a yes!” (Of course it is a yes!) “Te quiero.” And she pecked his lips again. “Mucho.” And again. “Muchísimo.”

And then he was the one smiling and so she pecked his cheeks and the bridge of his nose and his temples and he giggled like a kid.

“You’re marrying me.”

“Yes, I am. You’re gonna be my husband.”

“Fuck, yes.” 

[youralternantpersonality]

Anniversary

Embry x Reader: Anniversary

Y/n: your name

Y/L/N: your last name

Y/g: your gender

Y/e/c: your eye color

Y/h/c(t): your hair color or type

***

Our first anniversary was coming up and I was nervous. I didn’t know what to give this man. He had done so much for me and he had been through so much before we met. He stayed strong throughout the vampire army bullshit and much more. He dealt with my feelings through that time while he was battling his own. I could be nothing but grateful to have him in my life. Which lead me up to this moment. What thy fuck do I give this man. I had already given myself, so I couldn’t necessarily do that. I would say we could try some freaky shit, but I already have that in mind for later that night.

“Fuck!” I say out loud, slamming my head on the dinner table.

“You okay their boo?” Clair asked, changing baby Sam’s diaper.

“No. I can’t figure out what to give Embry for our anniversary. He’s done so much and been through so much, I want to give him something special.”

“Why not go to the toy store and get something?” Great minds think alike.

“No, I planned that for later. I need something else.” Baby Sam cooed and laugh as Clair picked him up to give to me. I bounced him on my leg.

“What do you think little man? You got any ideas?” I ask little Sam, hoping that he’d give me some idea. He just smiled and grabbed my nose then laughed when I nibbled on his wrist.

“Oh! I know! A baby!” Clair laughs. I look at her with a blank face.

“I’ll do that later.”

“What about one of your artworks? He loves them and you can make one for him.” I shake my head,

“He has a billion of them at his place. His mom even took some to work with her to give to some coworkers who came over. I need something. Anything.”

“I’m sure, whatever it may be, he’ll love it, Hun. Don’t stress too much over it.” I nod my head and hug little man as he plays with my fingers.

“I have too. Sam has them working triple shifts lately, so I want to do something relaxing and special. I just don’t know what…”

Embry’s POV

Fuck Sam and his triple shift bitch. Sam and Jake have us running more drills and twice as much of doing patrol. There hasn’t been a vampire insight in 5 months. I get it, after the last one, the last thing we need is more kids popping up, finding out that they’re shapeshifters. Hell, it was awkward enough finding out I was one. Not wanting to know who my dad is, but having a feeling that Sam is my half-brother isn’t something I was planning on. But God damn, the most sleep we’ve gotten is maybe 2 hours, on a 24-hour schedule. And damn, I feel bad for how I’ve neglected Y/n/n. Y/g has stuck by me when we were dealing with the damn Vampire Mafia that came for the hybrid-child. No offense to Ren, but damn.

Our anniversary is coming up and I want to do something special for y/g. I asked Jake for a day off next Saturday to celebrate, thankfully he gave me it off, but in return, I have to almost run a 24-hour shift so my replacement can breathe. Honestly, it’s worth it, but I hope that I am awake to thoroughly celebrate it.

“Guys, I need your help,” I said to the pack at Emily’s house. Y/n had just left with Clair and Kim to the store.

“Uh oh, what happened? What did you fuck up this time?” Paul said laughing. I roll my eyes and brush the comment off.

“I need help with deciding on what to give Y/n/n,” I said, deep in thought looking into space.

“Just give her the d-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Jared Cameron,” Emily says, her back turned towards us as she finishes up making whatever it is she was making. Chicken? Smells like chicken…

“How about just make her something. She decorated all of our houses with her artwork, why don’t you just do the favor?” Brady said. It wasn’t a bad idea honestly.

“Yeah, just do nontoxic body paint. Create your artwork in bed…OUCH! Emily?” Emily slapped Jared upside the head.

“One more time and no dessert. I expected this from Paul. Good job Paul.”

“Thank you? I guess?” He said, looking both offended and appreciated for the backhanded compliment. In a distance, you can here Sam Jr laughing with Collin and Quil.

“Ouch! Damn son!”

“LANGUAGE!”

“SORRY EMILY!” they said in unison. Collin walking in with little Sam in, who has a hard grip on Quil’s hair.

“He won’t let go!” Sam laughs and reaches for his son.

“I got him,” Sam says walking away to change his diaper.

“Okay, can we get back to my situation?” I asked as patiently as possible.

“Em, just have a romantic night with her. Make her dinner, put in a movie, and relax. Or take her to the movies. Y/n isn’t for extravagance.”

“I know Emily, but that’s why I want to do something big.” I lean against the wall frustrated. She shakes her head and smiles.

“If you want to give her something, give her what you know she loves the most. Something that she can look at always and would just have her smiling effortlessly.”

“This doesn’t help me, but okay.” She laughs,

“You’ll think of something, I’m sure of it.” she winks and starts setting out the silverware.

“I still say you should do body art,” Jared said, below the normal hearing level. But ever since Emily gave birth to Sam Jr, her hearing has been on point.

“Jared…” his eyes go wide. “I heard that.” She says in a singing voice. Sam comes back with little man, who reaches for his mom. She smiles and reaches for him and kisses his head softly.

“And just or that comment, no dessert. Dinner’s ready boys. Jared, you go last.” Emily says focusing on the little man while walking out of the room.  

“Damnit!”

“LANGUAGE!” Sam Jr starts laughing in the background.

Saturday Night—Anniversary

I figured out what I was going to give Y/n. I was going to do a picture board or message board or whatever it’s called. I went to the school library and printed out a shit ton of pictures we’ve taken together and decided to write little messages underneath the pictures. What we were doing that day and when it was. Thank-fucking-God we have perfect memory. I also had my mom bake her favorite cookies—snickerdoodle and peanut butter. She will sit somewhere and eat a pack of 12 (homemade) of them and not even have a second thought. I’ve also seen her grab a spoonful and just eat peanut butter like it was nothing.

“Babe, you’re going to get sick. Aren’t you tired of peanut butter?” with a blank look on her face, no hesitation, she says,

“I don’t need this negativity in my life.” Then gets up, goes to my room, and closes the door as if she lives here.

As Courage the cowardly dog would say, “The things I do for love.”

Y/n POV

I figured out on what to give Embry, it took a minute to review all our conversations, but I finally figured out what I wanted to give him.

A camera.

Em has always loved taking pictures of scenery and things of nature. He’s always loved taking pictures of everyone caught off guard. Hell, he loved taking pictures of our memorable moments. I even remember the first one he took on our first date.

We were on the beach, just about to start eating when he forgot something in his truck. I didn’t know this at the time, but he snapped a photo of me and the candles surrounding me with the waves in perfect motion in the background. He never showed it to me, instead, he had it as a screensaver and when I saw it, he outed that he has a passion for photography. Thus, giving him, this would make him happy. He may not have time now, but I know that at any given chance, he’ll take this camera everywhere he goes.

“Y/n! Embry’s here!” My foster mom said. I tell her I’ll be down and finish wrapping his present. As I finish, I hear the front door slam. I look outside and see my parents head off somewhere in town I assume. I run downstairs to meet my lover and kiss him instantly. Although I saw him a few nights ago at Emily’s, I haven’t heard from him much.

“Hello to you too my love.” He says smiling down at me. I can’t help but smile brightly and feel my face heat up.

“I miss you. Happy anniversary babe!” I said with excitement. Hugging him, forgetting his present is in my hands. He laughs and leads me to the living room.

“I hope you like what I got you, I know it may not be much, but, I figured it would be something that you could look back on and smile when I’m not able to. I mean, it’s always my goal to make you smile, but like, just when I’m not around to do so. Which I always will be, unless they need me to patrol and stu-” I kiss him.

“I love you too babe. And I promise, I already know that I will love it.” I smile at him. He pulls out his gift for me and I’m in awe.

“I saw this idea on google. I figured; we could make a memory board every year to look back on. I also put the dates and events that made me take them. Most of them I took for no reason, but, some of them I figured we can look back on it and laugh. Oh! I also made you these!” Embry hands me a tuple ware of cookies. I take one bite and realize I will eat all these tonight. Not even going to complain about it.

“Babe! This is so…. oh my gosh, Embry!” I go up to hug him and kiss him. He used one of those science fair boards to create a collage of the pictures. Damn, I love this man.

“I love you Em, so fucking much. Now, it’s my turn. I hope you like it…” I have a feeling he will, but…

“No way...” I smile slightly and look at him. “You got me… Y/n, baby…” Before I could react, he pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. I smiled and laughed.

“I take it that you like it?”

“I fucking love it! Y/n, you didn’t have to go all out like this! Shit, now I feel bad for giving you just that…”

“Nope! Embry Call don’t start. I love what you gave me, and I’m especially happy that you remember those little moments we had in those pictures. So, don’t try this bull shit love. Okay?” I said looking at him.

“Yes [ma’am/sir] …Does it have any film?”

“Yes, already inside.” He smiles at me brightly, turns it on, and starts playing with it until it's at his satisfaction.

“Come here.” He pulls me in for a kiss and suddenly, a flash goes off.

“Picture number one.” He smiles down at me and kisses me again.

“Happy anniversary babe.”

“Happy anniversary Y/n.”

Masterlist

[serrj215]

Moving on

This was it, almost everything else was packed away. Raven still couldn’t believe she was doing this. Her room was completely empty save for the bed, a few boxes and the nightstand. She kept looking around. This was her sanctuary, the place where she once felt the most comfortable, was now alien to her. Stripped of all her furniture, missing the familiar sights of her bookshelves and belongings the place felt cold and almost sterile, nothing left but blank walls and impressions in the carpet.

 Yet it was time, this wasn't home anymore. Things had changed, and she had to change with them. Raven saw no point in procrastinating further. The last thing to pack was the nightstand.  An empty box sat with her on the bed. 

The first drawer was where the "nighttime supplies" were kept. For some reason Beast Boy always felt more comfortable using terms like that. There was nothing too unusual.  There were few scented T-lights candles for when they wanted to set a mood. She remembered nights when the room was alive with their flicker. There was some oil that warmed when rubbed into the skin and  half a box of condoms, a left over from before she went on the pill. 

The memories of their first time rushed in, the awkward fumbling, all passion and no skill, and Beast Boy asking her "Are you ok?" and "how do you feel?" at least a dozen times during the whole thing.  But despite them both being in uncharted waters, and their blood running hot, he was so gentle with her. Like she was made of glass. Afterward he held her like he was afraid that she would disappear into the air like smoke. 

There were also the fur-lined handcuffs.  They were a stupid almost gag gift. They were cheap plastic, and between both their abilities they really had no ability to restrain them. Still it was enjoyable to pretend to take or surrender control.  Raven quickly threw them in the box before the memory of the first time they tried that rose to the surface.  The box would never get filled if she started to remember all that green skin exposed and open to her every whim. 

The second drawer was more personal, sentimental. There was the photo album Beast boy gave to her for their first Anniversary. It was dark blue plastic that flipped open showing a few pictures a page. He wanted photographic proof that She actually enjoyed spending time with him. He understood that Raven didn’t enjoy digital photos as much. Raven disliked the idea that if she wanted to relive a memory she would need something with a battery. It was the same thing with her books, as much as an e-reader made sense she liked feeling the weight of knowledge in her hands, and the texture of paper, and not having to hunt for a charging cord. 

She fought down nostalgia and put the photo album in the box.  Even without opening it the images surfaced in her mind.  The pictures from the beach trip where they took a picture right at sunset. The time they went camping in Colorado where it rained the whole time.  All the times they "borrowed" the T-Car to go stargazing at the national forest. There must have been a dozen pics of just her driving with the stars being seen through the window.  It seemed like every time they went out on there own Beast Boy had his phone in his hand to take a picture.

Then there was the collection. In a small box there was the most random scraps of paper one could encounter. Envelopes, receipts, napkins each one covered with barely legible handwriting.  For month's before Raven and Beast Boy had gotten together he had gotten into an odd habit of writing her notes.  All the feelings, and all the things he couldn’t say to her face, every desire explicit and innocent was there.  Of course Beast boy would try to get rid of the notes as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t be found out.  Also of course it was up to Raven to retrieve them. They were just enough, just enough to let her get used to being loved.

 The drawers were empty, it was over.  This wasn't Raven's room anymore. The thought sent a wave of cold though her body.

 "Hey Mama! I got eggrolls!" Beast Boy said proudly holding up the bag of Chinese takeout as he entered the room. "and I called the moving company the truck will be here at 10." 

Raven just looked at him standing there next to the stacks of boxes. Her face was sullen, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Beast Boy could almost smell something was wrong.  "Rae, you okay?"

She said nothing and just walked over and fiercely hugged him nearly knocking him over.

 "Wow, if I knew you liked Chinese that much I would have ordered it more often" He said trying to keep himself and the bag of food in balance.  "What's wrong love?" His free arm wrapped around her.

 "This is just" she squeezed a little tighter

 "Big?"

 "Yes."

 "You say the word, I will open these boxes and start putting your stuff bac-"

 "No!"  Raven said sternly. She raised her head from his shoulder.  "Cyborg is going to need the space for the new recruits." 

 "Cyborg would make them sleep in bunk beds on the roof, if you asked to keep this room."

 A small smile broke across Raven's face.  "We are moving in together." She stated for both Beast Boy and herself.  "It's time to move on."

 "You know we're just moving across town, not Bucharest right?"

 "I am aware."

He kissed her forehead.  "We will be back here a lot,  Cyborg is going to need help keeping the kids in line." 

"He-" That’s when Raven's stomach made a very audible growl.  She had spent the whole day packing neglecting lunch and her regular breakfast of hot tea and toast only took her so far. 

"Let sit down and eat, before your honey garlic chicken gets cold? And you stomach decides to attack us"

 Raven nodded and they walked to the kitchen holding hands.  

The only constant in the universe is change.  Raven knew that this was not going to be the last time they moved, not the last time she would have to say goodbye to a home, friends, family.  But she knew just as strongly that this green, pointed ear, messy haired boy would be there. To love her, care for her, and to make up crazy stuff when he opens fortune cookies. 

"The microfilm is hidden in the fried rice!" He said holding the slip of paper. 

 All to make her smile. Home is where the heart is they say.  Her home was with him.

Well this one has been sitting in my draft folder for 3 1/2 years.  Summer of 2016. Been tinkering with my old stuff lately and trying to get it out there.  Have half a mind to just put everything I got out there and see if you all can do anything with the scraps.  

I tied this story in with another called Notes https://serrj215.tumblr.com/post/156974770179/notes and its sequel Caught https://serrj215.tumblr.com/post/158499596174/caught  If that collection that Raven had rings any bells.  

[twohearts-hs]

“Her Drug” - Open Marriage Imagine

Words: 5.5k

Pairing: Husband!Harry Styles x Reader x Lover!Shawn Mendes

Warnings: Swearing, Alcoholism and a Little Bit of Smut

|| Masterlist in bio ||

-

She wanted to hold onto every fibre being of this relationship; a signal of what kept her alive in this burdened world. He was the last thing that kept her sane, yet he was the one thing that killed her. They both knew their relationship was failing. The only option for them was at the moment is to end it.

God, did he love her, and likewise for her. They were both of their heroin; a constant little dosage leads to much more. They, since the beginning, were obsessed with each other, until a few years into their relationship when it all went to shit.

Y/N would do anything for Harry, she praised the floor he walked on, as did he for her. It was mutual between them, the love, the tension, the admiration and adoration. They were your stereotypical cliché couple, therefore it took nobody by surprise when Harry got down on one knee on their two-year anniversary and asked for her to be his wife.

It was all good until it wasn’t.

-

Y/N woke up from the sunlight hitting her eyes and the little birds outside her window chirping. Another day, another working life. She loved her job as a photographer. Once upon a time, she used to travel the world and update her blog, but that was in her free time. In all facts, she has an English degree and worked in journalism in order to get the money to do her passion for photos. In fact, that was how she and her husband met. Harry met her through another celebrity in desperate need of a photographer.

It was a nice wake-up, a cute one, but an energizing one, letting nature to do its work. Yet, the married woman patted the bed next to her and realised he never came home. Harry hasn’t come home to his wife.

All hard feelings aside, Y/N went downstairs, poured herself a coffee and sat facing her computer. Emails flooded in as she checked her messages. She was a housewife, did photography as a passion and got paid quite a little, but she loved what she does, and she thanks the heavens that she doesn’t need to do the desk job anymore.

Yet, the minute she sat a call came through the laptop. Her best friend Shawn was calling. A smile came upon her features as she answered, not wanting to mention her husband's lack of presence. He knew about their decision long ago, he wasn’t happy with it, but he can’t make Y/N do anything.

-

Ever since learning about Harry’s lack of fertility, the relationship went sideways. Harry woke up and decided he didn’t give a fuck anymore. He went out and drank and tried to fill his nights with alcohol and whatever there was too smoke; it wasn’t like he was damaging his fertility rates when he doesn’t have them.

Y/N being her humble self said to Harry that she didn’t care that they can’t have a baby and there were many other options for them, but Harry just wanted to forgive and forget. He just wanted to waste his life away.

“You’re home late,” she told him, sitting on the couch watching some sitcom while sipping a glass of wine.

“Why are you up?” he mumbled, stumbling down the hallway, placing his keys on the counter alongside his wallet as he looked at his wife, being more than just perfect.

“Because I care,” she told him, getting up and walking towards him. “You’re gonna vomit, aren’t you?” he nodded and instantly she was pulling him to the closest bathroom, holding his long locks back as he spilt his guts out. She rubbed his back, as Harry mumbled words she couldn’t understand.

“Say something,” he mumbled, taking her arm and placing it down as he sat against the wall. She stayed quiet, looking at the man she fell in love with, who isn’t himself.

“What do you want me to say?” he chuckled, a smirk on his lips.

“I wanted to kiss her,” he told her, looking off to the side; Y/N speechless, “well, she tried to kiss me and I wanted to kiss her, but I have you. You are the weight at the moment.”

“I’m the weight of holding you back from having ‘fun’?” she questioned, scoffing at Harry and letting him go and exiting the bathroom.

“Y/N…” he knew he fucked up and Y/N didn’t care.

“Go fucking back to her, don’t come crying to me when she doesn’t hold your hair back as you vomit and talk about other women.”

That morning she had no idea that she’d be awakened to the first step of their present-day life. Of course, she has gotten used to the empty bed and the lack of Harry’s presence, but she had no idea what would come.

She came downstairs seeing her husband nursing a cup of coffee and she just ignored him. Harry tried so hard in his head to form the words that needed to be said, but he loved her too much to cause a mess.

“I have always been loyal,” he told her, looking up from behind the counter, hands on the granite.

“Oh I bet you have,” she laughed walking past him and roughly grabbing a mug to pour the coffee in.

“I am serious, kitten,” he told her, using the pet name, turning to her, “but I think we are falling apart,”

Then she suggested something that she now regrets, but she’d do anything to still get her dose of the drug, “If you want to fuck her go right ahead. Open marriage?”

It was stupid and spontaneous, but she did it and heck does she regret it. Harry, being his narcissistic, greedy self, agreed right away. If it was her now suggesting that, she’d be laughing about Harry’s answer. He was stupid...young and way too stupid.

-

Y/N exited her car, letting the white Rover’s door slam. She shrugged her handbag over her shoulder as she hurried to the café where she was meeting her best friend.

“You’re late,” Shawn mumbled, as Y/N plumped down and straight away grabbed for his coffee, creating him to glare.

“Shut up, I need this,” she muttered, smiling at him as Shawn laughed.

Shawn was someone who made her known. He remembered her from high school, but he did some snooping and found her Instagram, never imagining that his high school crush was a photographer. In fact, he was so desperate to see her again that he messaged her and asked if she’d join him on tour. Through Shawn, she met Harry.

Of course, she told him ‘yes’ to the opportunity to travel the world and do something that she is passionate about, not knowing how amazing of a friendship that was about to be created from this. Shawn is her best friend, no doubt about it.

“Slept alone again?” he took a sip of his coffee and looked at her. She scoffed, thanking the waiter for bringing her a new cup.

“Don’t get me started,” she rolled her eyes. Shawn knew about the arrangement, of course not being pleased about it. This perfect woman was getting abused by his actions every day, yet she held onto him.

“Haven’t seen him since,” she looked over his head and groaned, “now.”

Shawn quickly turned his head back, noticing the tall head of curly locks. She caught eye of his tattooed arm wrapped around some blonde as they ordered coffee.

“Fucking hell, Shawn,” she shook her head, “he's supposed to be quiet with his little sluts.”

“Are you thinking what I am thinking?” Shawn raised his eyebrow and she laughed nodding her head.

“Oh yeah,” it was a game between them. If they catch Harry with his chick of the night, they’d play around a bit. It was innocent, but she loved messing with him. Yet, she still loves him with all her heart.

Y/N got up heading to the condiment trolley to grab a few sugars for Shawn. Harry walked over with his girl just as Y/N got there.

“Excuse me,” she mumbled, reaching over to grab it.

Harry’s eyes opened, trying to figure the words to say to either of them, “Kitten!” he explained, she looked up and smiled.

“Hi!” Harry bit his lip as Y/N looked at the model.

“Kenna, this is my wife, Y/N, Y/N this is-”

“Honey,” she cut him off, ignoring the blonde and placed her hand on his hip, “Italian or Thai tonight?” Harry smiled at his wife, dropping the hold on the model and grabbed Y/N’s hand.

“Anything that makes you happy,” he muttered, pecking her lips.

“Ok, its Thursday, remember?” he nodded, muttering a ‘I remember’, as Y/N wished her goodbyes and headed back to Shawn.

“Kill me now,” Shawn laughed, applauding her.

“Well done, Mrs Styles, well done,” she laughed, throwing the sugar packets at him. “Show me the pictures of me at the beach.”

-

Even though it may seem like the two, Harry and his wife, have so much tension, they still love each other very much. The two still share their stolen kisses, movie nights and shameless sex. But, she loves him too much to let him go.

Harry doesn’t care anymore. The only thing he cares about is his wife, but he’s a boy, he doesn’t know what his actions are causing. Ever since getting that test back - negative to fertility - he lost all hope in his life. Y/N has never seen him like what he was, depressed. There were two stages to his depression, one was the first one, the not getting out of bed, barely eating, no motivation, etc. it was so hard to see for her; watching her husband fall apart. The second part of this depression was drinking and girls. He was loyal, she believed that. But, he’d go out and flirt and drink, but nothing physical. He was loyal, physically; verbally, mentally and emotionally he was not. This was when she slid in the potential idea of an open marriage and the next day, he stumbled home with hickeys and scratches on his back. Instantly that depression was gone.

How can she blame him? He just found out that he can’t do the one thing all males are supposed to do, reproduce. Therefore, she pretended it was ok when really it wasn’t. Every day, every week, every month there was someone different and all she can solve her inner feelings was to laugh. So, when she spots Harry with them, she makes it as awkward as she can. Because she will not have sex with anyone as long as she is called Mrs Styles. It was wrong.

-

Shawn and Y/N entered the townhouse, a laugher shared between them as he told her a joke previously. It was cute, between them. In fact, several people believed that they were a couple with the way they act to one another. It was so innocent, so loving and kind, it made everyone have a smile upon their faces.

Harry sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as he heard his wife’s laughter. He wasn’t in a good mood, anger ruffled through him as his blood in his veins boiled. The girl refused to sign the disclosure agreement, therefore he has to get the lawyers involved.

“Coffee or tea?” Y/N asked Shawn walking to the kitchen and spotting the curly hair. “Hey, baby,” she heard a grunt and a continuation of footsteps to the kitchen.

Shawn sat, grabbing a banana from the basket and watched how Harry manoeuvred through the kitchen, taking the bottle of whiskey.

“Are you sure you need that?” Y/N muttered, passing the mug to Shawn. Harry turned on the balls of his feet and glared at his wife.

“What’d you say?” he raised his eyebrows and looked at his wife with such a deadly look.

“I said,” she began, looking at him with the same expression, “do you really need that? Its barely past noon,” he scoffed.

“You have no idea what I am going through, kitten,” he spat, going to the bedroom.

Y/N rolled her eyes, ignoring everything and sitting next to her dear friend, “Don’t say anything,” Shawn raised his hands up in a surrendered way.

-

Harry sat in his own pool of misery, taking a swing and downing the rest of the small bottle and walking down the stairs to see his wife getting cosy with this man he has disliked since the first day.

“Kitten?” he called, stumbling through the kitchen to his wife. Y/N looked up, getting up from Shawn’s cuddle and grabbing onto Harry. “It was supposed to be our night, kitten,” he muttered into her ear, grabbing her hips to help him from falling. “Its Thursday, kitten, it is supposed to be for us. We drink a bottle of wine, watch a movie, play a game, and-”

“Alright, mister, let’s get you to the bathroom,” she told him, grabbing him by his shoulders to the nearest bathroom, letting him vomit his guts out.

Y/N puffed, closing the door to the master bedroom. Her drunk, past out husband laid there, as she looked up to her best friend.

“I know what you’re thinking, Shawn,” she said, walking past him and going down the stairs to the kitchen and dumping the bottle from upstairs into the recycling.

“Y/N, please hear me out,” he tried, turning to her and she couldn’t look at him.

“I love him with every fibre of my being. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in love, but man, you’ll do anything for them. If they’re an alcoholic and cheat on you every day, you’ll still lay with them. They are your heroin and they keep you sane. I fucking love Harry with everything in my being and damn I’ll be a mess without him. So, no, I will not divorce him, because through thick and thin,” she told him, close to a scream because she was so frustrated.

“I know the feeling, honey. I know love,” he told her, grabbing her cheeks, wiping the tears off her eyes and brought her into a hug. “It’ll be ok,” he told her as she cried.

-

Two weeks later, he was back to himself. Fuck, he was back to himself a day later. Still alcohol in his system, but he wasn’t a drunk. They’ve moved on, the two of them. They have forgotten that night.

Y/N was in the shower. Hands in her hair as she pushed it away from her eyes. The mascara that covered her lashes began to smear down her face. It was a long night last night, she went out with a couple of friends and had fun. Well, they did. She just drank her misery.

The hand that covered her hair was now on her neck when she felt a subtle humming in her ear as a ringed hand ran across her torso. Tattooed arms came into her sight and she smiled, rolling her head back.

“Morning, kitten,” he was absent that morning, but now he is back. She smiled from the nickname. She hated cats and ever since he learnt that, he taunts her with the nickname. Eventually, she fell in love with it, because he calls no one else that. She was his kitten.

“Morning,” she grunted, feeling his hands dip into her clit. A breathy moan escaped her lips as he took her with his rings.

It was sweet, the fingering in the shower. It was normal between them, the small, sweet gesture. Her being into all the cute vanilla stuff. He wasn’t into just that though.

Harry turned her around, pressing his lips against her’s so softly, pecking it as his fingers did their work. In and out they went. Moans and groans escaped her lips as he took control over her. Harry smiled into the kiss, hearing how vulnerable she was under his touch. He made her quiver with just one look and she was all his...well he hopes. It was a mutual agreement.

She came not long later. He pampered her, rubbing her skin with soap as he cleaned her up, kissing her skin as he went. It was moments like this where she remembers why she stays with him. He can be such a prick, but at the same time, he can be such a sweetheart and a gentleman.

Y/N smiled, seeing Harry wiping her skin with the cloth. But, her smile faded quite soon.

“Who was she?” she asked, looking into those green eyes. Harry played stupid.

“Who?” she rolled her eyes and poked the skin on his body that the colour has changed to a red. “Just some girl, kitten, don’t worry,” he muttered, kissing her cheek and ignoring her worries.

“Whatever,” she pushed off, and pulling the shower curtain away and leaving him in his pity.

“Kitten!” she ignored him, grabbing a towel and heading to the closet, grabbing some gear to go for a run. “Don’t you dare give me that attitude. This was an agreement between us. I bet you’ve screwed Shawn...oh I bet you have,” she rolled her eyes. There comes the dick inside him, shining so bright.

“Oh yeah, we’ve screwed so much, Harry. In your car, in your kitchen,” she began, walking up, and smirking, “in that shower, oh and you know where else…” she leaned into his ear, “right here.”

Harry was so done with her attitude, grabbing her hips and pushing her against the wall, “You fucking slut.” She laughed so hard. He was so stupid and so naive and just… jealous.

“Says you...brags about all your girls that you’ve touched. I bet many of them are pregnant because of you, so clumsy...but oh wait, you can’t have kids,” she went there. Oh fuck, she went there and she instantly regretted it.

Harry pushed away from holding her against the wall, “You fucking had to go there. You’re fucking ridiculous, Y/N. You know how much I want a kid, to give you a baby, but I can’t because I smoked too much and drank too much in my youth. Have fun with Shawn, I’m done,” he walked out, grabbing a pair of joggers on the way and she looked at the ceiling and screamed.

“I haven’t had sex with anyone, Harry. Haven’t touched anyone in seven years, because I am loyal,” she screams, “physically and all that shit.”

He was emotionally exhausting, hearing him shut the front door as she collapsed to the floor. She was done, beyond done.

Y/N saw his phone on the bed, as it went off. A little piece of her said to her not to go snooping on it, but she had too. She needed to know who he was screwing and where he stands. His phone was easy to get into. It was their wedding date, but she regretted everything.

She regrets a lot with Harry...the open marriage idea, bringing up the topic of his infertility, going through his phone, letting him pick the house, merging the bank accounts...she was smart but as well as he, she was a little naive.

Y/n scrolled through his phone, tears beginning to consume her eyes. He talked about what he was going to do to these girls, the pictures sent between them, but what hurt her the most was the way he talked about her. Lies upon lies were told in the texts of these girls who all looked the same. It ranged about how she was clingy, how she was pleasing him so terribly, but it went as far as him not loving her and happy that he can’t give her kids to have more brats like her. That was just the nice stuff. She was done with him...all open marriages never lasted.

One thing she knew about Harry was, he will always come back. She wanted to hurt him like how he hurt her. A little evil side came out of her as she thought the thoughts she was thinking. The girls left marks on him, so someone had to make marks on her.

There were a few times where she had an opportunity to take advantage of the title above her head ‘open marriage’ in bright shiny letters, but she couldn’t bear the idea of letting another man touch her. First, it was her fitness trainer, then some that Dutch bartender and lastly Jamie. Jamie was a classmate of her’s, so kind, so sweet, but he was too nice to take advantage of a married woman. Therefore he was the one to back out.

Then there was Shawn...fucking hell she knew he was in love with her. He has said so himself, but she had to tell him that she actually just met someone and it turned out to be Harry. But, Shawn was the perfect lover. She knew that. It was such a shame that he hasn’t met someone, but she did know he was hanging onto her for far too long.

“I’m ready,” she texted and straight away he responded. It wasn’t him playing dumb, he knew exactly what she was talking about and he was over in a jiffy.

The minute she answered the door, she slammed her lips against his. It was the weirdest feeling, the kiss was perfect. Of course, it was rushed but it was as their lips were formed for another. Clothes were thrown everywhere, rushed as they removed each other's pieces as they moved to the bedroom. She looked at Shawn, sitting on the bed and watched him removed his underwear and she unclipped her bra.

He stared in awe, such a goddess like creature in front of him. Y/N smiled, locking lips and whispering a, “I’m ready.”

She stared at the ceiling. Shawn’s hands were wrapped around her as she drew shapes on his chest with her finger. He looked at her as she looked elsewhere. She officially did it. She was a slut. No, that is too harsh, but she felt like that. The ring on her finger was gone, she hid it when she made love, more as fucked, Shawn. But, in a sort of sense, she felt relieved with it all. Y/N felt trapped with Harry and Shawn was her little normal. Twenty-seven and she felt like her age.

-

The fights went on between the two. Harry truly believed that she was loyal, but internally she was laughing, so thankful for the fact that she was back on tour with Shawn. Harry continued to be marked as she continued to see Shawn behind his back.

Y/N felt normal...is that wrong to say that? She married at twenty-two, Harry twenty-six, and now she was twenty-seven and felt like that age. Harry was acting like a dick and she was living life.

She was out drinking, she was taking pictures, she was travelling and all of this with Shawn. He was the muse she needed. Her ring was left back in London, praying that Harry doesn’t find it. But, when he found out that his wife was going back on tour, he wasn’t happy. Being himself, he believed Y/N’s loyalty but still didn’t like the way that Shawn looked at her. Y/N was his and only his. But, she had to work and she loved what she did so he couldn’t fight it. In fact, he solved his problems with more girls and more drinks.

While the beauty herself, she was taking pictures of Shawn everywhere, the sea, the park, the bar. He was the perfect model and muse to her problems. Every time they looked at one another they smiled or laughed, but overall filled with joy. She was so goddamn perfect. Y/N held him every moment, yet everyone believed they were friends. They acted like a couple, but no one believed as Y/N was “taken”. So, they danced in meadows, sang by the sea and made love under the stars. It was perfect until it wasn’t.

The tour ended after six months. Six months of barely talking to Harry and nights spent under the covers of her lover. It was a good six months, getting away from London and all that toxic stuff that comes along with it. If she was being honest, she wasn’t looking forward to going back home to him.

Harry greeted her with a smile on his face and open arms. He leaned against the pole and just stared at her. Y/N hasn’t seen him yet, cuddling into Shawn as she walked towards the exit. Her laughter echoed the room as his arms wrapped around her. Harry started seeing how happy she was, the bags under her eyes long gone and a smile that he hasn’t seen in months.

“Kitten,” he called, she turned to him and he recognised it instantly...the fake smile she pulled for him.

Y/N let go of Shawn to walk towards her husband, greeting him with a hug and kiss. Shawn watched, she wasn’t herself around him. He needed to get rid of Harry, he was an energy vampire sucking all the living out of her.

“Hey,” she mumbled, pulling away from the kiss. He grabbed her bags and grabbed her hand, which she pulled away.

He looked at her funny and she frowned a little, grabbing her bags back. Harry looked at his wife with   look.

“Next time when you pick me up or see me for that matter, remember to wipe off last night’s evidence,” she muttered and walked back to Shawn, continuing the conversation. Harry watched as his wife walked off, this is it, he’s done.

-

“Glad to have you home,” he muttered, hearing the door open and the sound of wheels from a suitcase coming in. Y/N ignored him, gently placing her backpack on the barstool and making her way to the fridge.

“No whiskey nor vodka. You must be antsy, Harry,” she said from the kitchen, mocking him. Harry got up and walked to his wife, grabbing her hips and feelings the bare skin.

He placed a humble kiss against the back of her ear and whispered, “I’m a changed man.” Y/N scoffed, turning around and looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m serious, kitten,” he began, rubbing the skin on her hips, “I have been ninety days sober.”

Y/N looked at him, watching as he pulled the chip out of his pocket. “Oh, sure you are, Harry. Last night—” she began.

“Burned myself,” the lie rolled off his lips, she scoffed, “she made a move on me, kitten, not the other way around.”

“And you said you’re a changed man,” she mumbled, grabbing her bag and heading upstairs.

He believed he was a changed man but all he needed was to convince her. Harry wants to end the open relationship. He wants her and only her.

He welcomed himself upstairs, seeing his wife in bed already, reading a book. She looked so peaceful, it almost made Harry cry from the fact that she was too perfect for him. But, there was a burning question in his mind and he needed to get it out.

“Kitten?” he asked, her head looked up catching her husband’s eyes. She hummed, smiling gently. “Are you and Shawn in a relationship?” he asked, looking down and praying that they are not. He was supposed to be the one who could touch her only. She married him, she was his forever. But, the little bit of him was telling how ironic that is as he is was doing the same thing to her with other women,

“Why does it matter?” she mumbled. Harry sat down on the bed, grabbing her hand gently, as Y/N placed her book down.

“Because I don’t want to have an open relationship anymore,” he mumbled, looking at her eyes. Y/N stayed quiet looking at her husband and shaking her head.

“You can’t say that,” she mumbled, tears clouding her vision.

“Kitten…”

“So you’re bored with fucking other women so you come back to me?” she asked, pulling her hand away. Harry shook his head rapidly, trying to form words. “Can’t you see that I am happy with him. He treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Not ignored or yelled at or treated like nothing. I am your wife, Harry, I deserve a hella amount of respect,” Harry looked at her.

“I want to be with you again...just us. We took a vow, remember?” she scoffed.

“We can’t.”

“Why?” he pressured.

“Because I am pregnant and it is not yours.”

-

Y/N looked at the mirror of the ensuite in Norway. She looked at her reflection as she counts the seconds and minutes till she can look down at the test in front of her. Her palms were against the sink as she took deep breaths. The vomiting, the cravings, all of that would be explained, but she doesn’t know how she feels about it. It is Shawn’s, no doubt about it, but with him hitting the peak of his career while she is just a housewife could affect their relationship.

A breath left her lips as she heard the timer. The foggy mirror showed a little bit of her reflection from the condensation, but it was now or never.

“Pregnant,” she mumbled as shock filled her system. She turned around and looked at all four tests in front of her. “I’m pregnant,” she said again, a smile flooding her features. She placed the test down and opened the door getting an eyeful of Shawn’s back and a little bit of his bare bum.

Y/N walked to him, sitting on the bed and placing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Morning,” he grumbled, rolling over and staring at her. She looked at him with the biggest smile. “You’re happy, honey, what happened?” he asked, sitting up and cupping her cheeks.

“I know you’re young and I am too. Well, I am older than you, not by much, but,” he raised his eyebrows, “what are your thoughts on kids?”

“Love them,” he knew where this was going, connecting the dots, he leaned back a little, a blank expression was written across his face. “You’re pregnant?” she nodded and he automatically eloped her in the biggest hug and kiss.

-

“With Shawn’s?” Harry didn’t know how to process this. They tried so hard to have a baby to learn that he was not fertile.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, looking at her husband. “I want to be with Shawn,” she mumbled. Harry shook his head.

“No, kitten. You’re my kitten,” he began panicking, hands going through his hair, “we made a vow. We are forever, kitten. I can raise this baby like it is mine,” she shook her head.

“No, Harry. He or she is Shawn’s. Shawn wants them and I am going to raise it with him,” Harry began having tears flood his face. “Breathe, Harry, we don’t want to have another panic attack,” he took a few breaths grabbing her shoulders into a hug.

Y/N rubbed his back as he cried, “Shhh, it’ll be ok, it always will,” he pulled away, holding her hand, “You treated me like shit. I am happy you’re going sober, but it is my time to create a new chapter with someone I love. I will always love you, Harry, as you are my first love, but you’re broken. It is time for you to mend yourself and I helped enough.”

She got up from the bed and bent down to him, kissing him, “I pick Shawn,” she told him, walking out. She decided to try a different drug than heroin and now she is never going back.

-

Tag list - dm, inbox, or comment to be added or removed :)

@alinashawn @mendesnecessary @i-am-bisexual-and-a-girl @notunlimited @purple-cream-cheese @iimagineloves @ashwarren32 @claredolphinbear24 @shawns-mendess @lilya-petrichor @laggyphone @surfpitaya

[loserholland]

Fuckboy 101

𝟎𝟎𝟑 ➺ 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐧

𝟎𝟎𝟏 ➺ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝟎𝟎𝟐 ➺ 𝐂𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞

𝟎𝟎𝟒 ➺ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬

Pairing ➺ Fuckboy!Tom Holland x Reader

Warning ➺ fluff, angsty towards the end, tom being a HUGE DICK

Word Count ➺  2,370

Summary ➺  A bet that was too hard to refuse.

A/N ➺ FINALLY updated this mini series after a bajillion years and wrote this in about two hours wowie.

✿ 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ✿ - @loveyathreethousand​, @taronxfiction, @killerqueen-gunpowdergelatine, @spideyyypeter @lou-la-lou​ @babebenhardy​ @rivervixenbaby

@writingstoriesaboutcharacters​

☞  Masterlist  ☜

-

Summer.

It was a wonderful time to take time off of school and worrying about grades and to just relax. 

Tom had surprised (Y/N) with tickets to London to not only explore the city and check it off her bucket list, but to also meet his family. It has been a wonderful seven months, but by the time it was their three month anniversary he didn’t want it to be a bet. Even when he had told Jake they were dating, he continued to add more to the bet, get her to say ‘I love you’.

Check.

On their four month anniversary, she had said it without realizing. It was one of those moment’s when you’re looking at someone in complete awe, when your eyes are basically shaped like hearts. 

It was one of those moment’s where the rest of the world went mute and all that mattered was them. How she whispered it not even realizing what she was thinking was let out to the world.

They were walking in central park, the snow was slowly starting to melt yet it was still a bit chilly out. The two had just came from dinner and decided to take a stroll in the park before heading back to campus. Every so often she’d look up at him a warm feeling spread through her body every time he caught her eye.

“I love you.”

(Y/N) didn’t even realize she had said it, Tom though the moment he heard he say it. It felt like a dream, his heart stopped he gazed down at her a small smile tugging at his lips.

“What did you say?”

The words replayed before she looked back up at Tom, it was a now or never moment.

“I love you.”

Tom leaned down placing a sweet kiss on her lips, he felt her smile against his lips causing Tom to pull away slowly. He placed his mitten covered hands on her cheek, placing a small kiss onto her forehead.

“I love you too.”

Jake didn’t stop from there, he said that if he wanted the bet to be done with then move to third base. 

Check.

Six month anniversary, after Tom had spoiled her with a huge shopping spree. and a beautiful dinner. He had rented a hotel suite, Harrison helped Tom decorate the suite with roses and candles.

“Thomas, I swear this better not be some fifty shades of grey shit.” (Y/N) commented the moment Tom had asked her to place the blindfolds over her eyes squeezing Tom’s hand lightly.

“It’s not, I promise. But if you’re into th-” She slapped the back of his not allowing him to finish his sentence, yup not gonna happen buddy.

She heard a small click unsure of what that might have been for until she felt Tom guide her once more before whispering “Take off your blindfolds.” slowly she undid the knot blinking a few times allowing her eyes adjust to the lighting.

(Y/N) gasped lightly before looking back at Tom, “Tommy.. you didn’t have to do this.” Tom shrugged in response walking over to wrap his arms around her waist pulling her closer to his chest.

“Happy sixth month anniversary darling.”

The bet didn’t stop there. But you knew that already.

“You love her don��t you? Like actually love her? Damn you’ve gone soft.” Jake slurred causing Tom to huff loudly brushing off what Jake had said.

“Fuck off Jake.” 

 This caused Jake to stand from where he was sitting, pointing his beer in Tom’s direction.

“You had all your chances to break up with her, yet you kept pushing it. Alright final part of the bet Holland.” Tom stood up from his seat with his jaw clenched ready to punch the lights out of Jake, fucking hell why did he agree anyway?

“Break her heart Holland, make her hate you.”

Pending.

He didn’t want to break up with her, god that was the last thing he wanted to do. But he never backed down from a bet, but he also didn’t want (Y/N) to hate him. That little shit Jake knew what he was doing, he knew what buttons to press.

“Thomas?” (Y/N) tugged at his arm causing Tom to look in his girlfriend of seven months, “Look! Wow it’s as beautiful as I thought it would be.” he watched in awe as she admired the city of London below her.

He didn’t want to let her go, he didn’t want her to end up hating him after what they’ve gone through. God thinking about it made his heart clench and feel sick to his stomach.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be landing in about ten minutes. The current time in London is 11:44 AM, 65 degrees fahrenheit, 18 degrees celsius. The current time in New York is 6:44 AM, 71 degrees fahrenheit, 22 degrees celsius. Thank you for choosing United Airlines, we will be landing shortly.”

God he felt sick, he doesn’t want to end it with (Y/N) really that’s the last thing he wanted. There was something holding him back from wanting to break up with her, and something eating up at him for just needing to do it.

(Y/N) on the other hand was beyond nervous on meeting Tom’s family for the first time in person, she had seen them over facetime and in many pictures from Tom’s camera roll. Yet this is the real deal, Tom had met (Y/N) parents when they came to visit during spring break. That was the first time she had seen Tom get so nervous or something. 

“Should I change? Yeah I’ll change.” before Tom could go back and dig something out of his closet she grabbed his wrist tugging him towards the bed. 

(Y/N) placed her hand on his cheek rubbing her thumb against his cheekbone before speaking “No, if you change one more time we’ll be late. You look great Tommy, my parent’s will love you.” she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips in sign of reassurance.

After a their little lunch date (Y/N) father had pulled Tom aside and said “She talks about you a lot, you make her happy. Thank you for getting her out of that little shell of her’s.” 

That’s what Tom thought back to. Those words (Y/N) father had told him always echoed when he thought about how he’d break up with her. But right now was not the time to think about breaking up with her. Instead enjoy summer vacation and (Y/N) meeting his family for the first time.

Once they landed, they went to retrieve their bags and waited outside for Harry. All (Y/N) wanted to do was get in the car and nap, her body was still on New York time. It was about 12:25 London time and it was 7:25 New York time, during this time she’d be asleep.

“Hey you div!” a voice called causing (Y/N) to furrow her brows in confusion she looked up from the ground to see Harry walking towards them. Tom mumbled something under his breath yet (Y/N) couldn’t really catch what he said. 

“The lovely (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the person Tom talk’s non-stop about!” Harry pulled her into a hug causing (Y/N) to chuckle lightly, “Ah yes Harry, not Tom’s favorite!” Harry pulled away quickly with a loud dramatic gasp.

“Well we all know that’s a lie.” Harry said in a ‘as a matter of fact’ tone.

“It’s not you div! Now help me will you?” 

Before Harry went to help Tom with the rest of the luggage he opened the door for (Y/N) allowing her to climb into the passenger seat, she got as comfortable as she could and told herself she’d rest her eyes a little.

"Darling, we’re here.” Tom spoke softly lightly tapping his sleeping girlfriend, he watched as (Y/N) shuffled around not budging or trying to wake up. 

“Darling c’mon wake up.” (Y/N) groaned lightly raising her hand to rub the sleep out of her eyes to see Tom sitting in front of her, she hummed lightly “Hi Tommy.” 

He was gonna miss that. 

“Hi darling, we’re here.”

(Y/N) slowly shuffled out of the car and followed closely behind Tom as they approached the house that was filled with light chatter, “Tom!” Nikki announced as she began to move towards the two.

Tom stood with his arms slightly open expecting his mom to hug him first yet she brushed pass him and went in to hug (Y/N), “Oh! I’ve been so excited to finally meet you in person (Y/N)!” Nikki exclaimed causing (Y/N) to smile.

“I’ve been excited to finally meet you in person as well Mrs.Holland!” Nikki pulled away lightly waving off (Y/N) attempt to call her Mrs.Holland, “Dear please, call me Nikki.” 

“(Y/N)!” another voice called which seemed to belong to Paddy, who yet again brushed pass Tom to greet (Y/N) instead.

“Paddy!” (Y/N) crouched down lightly to accept Paddy’s hug.

“Missed you too mom.” Tom spoke causing Nikki to chuckle, going over to hug her oldest son. 

I guess (Y/N) didn’t need to worry after all.

-

The Holland’s had decided to bring (Y/N) to their favorite beach, they gave (Y/N) a day to get a bit use to the time change before heading out to play tourist. She had also finally met Tessa who was the cutest dog she had ever met in the entire world. 

(Y/N) walked along side Nikki and Dom as they watched the boys run after one another, “Whenever they’re together it’s like their kids again.” Dom commented as (Y/N) nodded in response.

“He talks about you guys a lot.” (Y/N) said as she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear wrapping her arms around her chest as a cool breeze brushed passed. 

“As he does with you,” Nikki replied as a tint of red kissed her cheeks, “he really loves you. I’ve never seen so head over heels for a girl before.” Tom looked back for a moment catching (Y/N) eye before sending her a playful wink, she crinkled her nose at the action shaking her head lightly at him.

"I should be thanking you two, if it weren’t for Tom I’d still be hiding in my shell. He’s helped me get out of my comfort zone, I can’t thank him enough for it.”

She was head over heels in love with him.

-

They had one more day left in London, Tom had taken her to see Big Ben, the London eye, Buckingham palace, and take several iconic London phone booth photos.

(Y/N) helped Nikki with dinner, chopping up the vegetables and washing the dishes that they had used. During that time they had a girl talk and just gossiped, something she did with her mother all too often. Once dinner was ready Nikki had asked (Y/N) to call the boys. 

Paddy and Sam came rushing in the backyard, Dom had a comedy gig so Nikki had made him a plate to warm up one he came home. (Y/N) made her way to Tom’s room where the two were currently sharing a room, before she could call the him to eat she heard another voice in the room. 

“You’re kidding right? That’s fucked up Tom, no this is way passed fucked up.” the voice was surely belonged to Harry, she stood there quietly listening in on their conversation. 

“It’s just, it suppose to be a bet. I still is, now I have to break up with her.” (Y/N) tensed slightly at the sound of Tom’s voice.

“Tom, you’re really gonna choose your pride and ego over (Y/N)? Keeping your president position over (Y/N)? All you had to do was say no to the bet, do you even have real feeling for her?”

(Y/N) knocked on the door lightly, “Dinner time.” 

Tom looked over at Harry in panic praying that (Y/N) didn’t hear their entire conversation.

“You better make this right Thomas.”

-

The moment they landed back in New York Tom knew something was off, she hadn’t spoken to him the entire flight and dodged him when he went in for a kiss. (Y/N) waited till they got back to campus to question him not wanting to make a scene in public and look like the ‘crazy girlfriend’.

Once (Y/N) unlocked her dorm, she looked around to see if her roommate was in for the summer yet it was empty. Tom had already stopped by the frat house to drop off his things.

“What’s wrong?” Tom questioned quietly. 

(Y/N) sighed turning around to look at Tom “What is this.” she gestured pointing between her and Tom, “Was this all a bet? What was it?” in that moment he knew, she heard what him and Harry were speaking about.

“(Y/N)-”

“No. Was I a bet?” 

Tom didn’t answer instead his head hung low, he fucked up, he really fucked this up.

“Was I a-”

Tom looked up and shouted “Yes!” she was taken aback by his answer her heart slowly began to break as tears brimmed her eyes.

“You were a bet (Y/N), you were one of my bets. If I dated you I’d keep my position as president so Jake would ‘t be president. I promised him that I’d have your wrapped around my fingers and I did. I had you wrapped around my fingers within four months of dating, I was given a year and finished it in seven months instead. So yes, this was all a bet, everything I said was a lie, none of this was real.”

“My love for you wasn’t real.”

She felt dizzy, the world was beginning to crumble as a few tears began to stain her cheeks. She felt sick, she felt sadness and anger.

“Get out.”

Tom stood there for a moment, he just hurt the girl he loved the most. He just took her heart that she had given him and ripped it into two right in front of her. 

“Thomas get the hell out!”

(Y/N) pushed his chest lightly causing Tom to stumble back and walk towards the door, he had hurt the girl he had learned to love. He fucking hurt her. ‘

“I fucking hate you and never wanna see you again!”

Check.

[shawnpetermuffins]

could you write an imagine about Connor always taking pics of and filming you and for your anniversary he makes a video and he writes something with Shawn and asks him to sing it so he could use it in the background 😩😩😩

"Hey baby, you want to watch a movie? I just got this new one that I think you might like."

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise."

"You know I don't like surprises."

"I do," Connor nods. "Yes, that's true. However, I think you'll enjoy this one."

"Okay, well put it in."

He chuckles and I roll my eyes. "I'm dating a twelve year old boy."

"But you love him," he sings, holding the 'O.'

"That I do," I pat his cheek and he kisses the palm of my hand before getting up to put the disc in the DVD player. He still likes watching things this way instead of just on Netflix or on his phone. It's one of the many things I love about him.

When he sits back next to me, I cuddle into his side, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me, keeping me close. The familiar voice of my love fills the speakers and I look up at him but he's looking only at the screen, a soft smile on his face. The screen is still black, only now with a few soft flashes of light.

"You can fall in love in an instant. And suddenly the only thing keeping you upright on earth is her. It doesn't take a genius to know that I've found my forever… in you."  

The soft strum of a guitar now take over the sound and then soon after comes Shawn's voice singing 'I Like Me Better' (the song that Connor and I consider to be ours. It was just playing on the radio one day and he said, "You know, babe, this song makes me think of you." And it just stuck from there.) 

'To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me.'

"Hey sweetheart. You look ravishing," video Connor says as the bright light of his bathroom illuminates the shot. My hair is disheveled and I'm wearing a sweater that's three sizes too big while I apply my mascara. You can my cheeks tinted in the video, and I swear you can see them doing the same thing now. 

'And in love in New York City. Midnight into morning coffee.' A few flashes of videos and pictures of our late nights at the beach or on the tour bus, morning breakfast dates where I'm definitely not drinking coffee, but orange juice.

"You recorded all of this?" I ask, trying like hell not to cry at this sweet thing he's done for me. 

"Course I did," he whispers, placing a kiss on my forehead, my eyes gluing back on the screen in time for me to see and hear Brian on the screen. 

"Guys, look at the little love birds. Had a late night editing, I guess. Look how they fell asleep." He turns the camera to us, my entire body covers Connor's while he gently,  albeit subconsciously strokes my hair.

I sniffle. It's too much. The song, the videos, him. I wipe my tears and he looks down at me. "You're crying."

"Thanks, captain obvious."

The music fades and Connor lights up the screen, sitting in what looks like some random dressing room in some random arena. "Hey sweetheart! You're probably crying by now, huh? I wouldn't doubt it; you always cry with my videos. Doesn't matter what. But that's not the point. I just wanted to tell you that I love you with my whole heart. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. And I dont know where I'd be without you. I cannot thank you enough for saying yes to that that date a year ago. A year," he shakes his head with a smile on his face. "Can't believe it's been that long. Feels like a week. Because I'm just as in love with you now as I was the moment I met you. Actually… I'm probably even more in love now. I don't know. But happy anniversary, y/n. I love you forever!" He blows a kiss to the camera and the video shuts off.

"Well what'd you think?"

I laugh through my tears. "I think you're crazy, Brashier… but I love you for it. That was, that was more than I could ever ask for. I loved it." I push myself up and capture his lips.

"Can I ask you something?" He said between kisses.

I hum in response.

"Will you move in with me?"

I smile and kiss him harder. "Yeah. Yes. Yes." I mumble against his lips as he lays me down beneath him.

***

@mutuallynotmutual @enchantingbrowneyedgirl  

@sapphiremoonlght @bringitbackkkk @shawnieeboyy @justanotherfangurl272

[motleyfuckingcruee]

Close As Strangers (Vince Neil x Reader)

Requested:

@antheasnow

Summary:

Vince calls you one night completely wasted. He ends up cheating on you and you hear it through the phone. Vince does everything in his power to make it up to you.

Warnings:

Fluff, language, angst

Song the title is based off of:

Close As Strangers

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A TAGLIST! OR GO TO MY BIO TO ADD YOURSELF TO ONE!

//

You throw your bag down on the floor once you get into the house that Vince bought not but four months earlier. He'd only gotten to spend a month in it and then he got sent back onto the road. You miss him a lot. Late night phone calls just aren't working for you anymore. You need him with you now. Holding you. Kissing you. Doing other things to you.

You miss his smile, his laugh, the way he knows how to treat you like a princess even when you're yelling and screaming. Things just aren't the same without him here.

Here recently, every time he calls he's wasted out of his mind or the boys are yelling "hi" at you as you try to talk. Man, you love those idiots, but they're so goddamn annoying. Mick would get them to shut up. Vince just seems distant, and you hate it.

You feel like you did something wrong. Maybe you're being too clingy? Maybe he found someone else? Maybe you weren't doing enough before he left?

So many questions with so little answers.

The phone starts ringing as soon as you sit your ass down on the couch.

"Goddamn it," You mumble.

Nevertheless, your heart beat picks up. You hope it's Vince. You've been missing his voice all day. You get up once again and head to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby!" Vince slurs. You can see a goofy grin on his face.

"Vince, how wasted are you?" You ask, tired of this.

"None! I'm perfectly fine."

"Vince," You groan.

"Calm down, babe. I'll be home in two weeks," He says.

You feel your mood shoot up. "Really?!" You nearly squeak.

"Yep! I'm coming home baby!" He laughs.

"That's awesome. Vinny, I mi-." You're cut off by the faint sound of a woman's voice. "Vincent who is that?"

It's like he doesn't even hear your question. "Not right now," He says to whoever's in the room.

"Vince-."

"I'm on the phone with my girlfriend," He says, sounding further away from the phone.

"Vince," You say louder.

His voice is muffled. You can't hear a word he's speaking.

Tears spring to your eyes as his soft moans drift through the phone. You hear the woman's voice again. Tears start rolling down your cheeks. You hang up the phone, standing there in shock. You knew something was wrong. Who knows how many times he's cheated on you now?

You feel numb and like you can't move. There's one thing you know for sure. . .you need to get out of this house.

You go upstairs to what used to be you and Vince's room. You pull down you suitcase and start putting your stuff in it as quickly as you can. There's no rush because he won't be home for two weeks, but you just want to get out of here.

An hour later you finish up. You look at the nightstand which has your favorite picture of you and Vince for your two year anniversary.

It has Vince holding you from behind, a huge smile on his lips and his face nuzzled in your neck. Your hands cover his. Your head is turned to look at him and a huge smile is on your lips as well. You both look in love. He's obviously not in love with you if he can cheat on you.

You glare at it. The anger starts coursing through your veins instead of overwhelming sadness. You grab the picture and throw it against the wall with an angry scream escaping your throat. The glass shatters on impact, making it glitter all over the floor.

Your eyes widen. You're not an angry person. You're very calm and don't let anything get to you. This has just sent you over the edge.

You go to start picking it up, but you realize something. He can pick it up his goddamn own. He caused you to feel like this. He can deal with the aftermath.

You pull your suitcase to the front door with bags hanging off your shoulders. You set them down and go back to the phone.you dial your best friend's number.

"Hello?" She answers.

"Hey, Chrissy," You say, trying to keep your voice level. "Would it be alright if I stayed with you for a while?"

"Of course!" She pauses. "Don't you live with Vince?"

"I'll explain later," You say lowly.

"Okay. The front door will be open," She says, not pushing you any further.

"Okay." You hang up the phone.

You go to the front door, picking up the bags you set down and the bag you threw down when you got home. You take one last glance around the house. You look at the pictures of you and Vince. You were so naive. You knew he was a ladies man the moment you laid eyes on him. You were just dumb enough to fall for it.

You walk out of the house, not looking back.

------

Two weeks later and you've finally gotten all your things from Vince's house. Just in time too 'cause you saw Nikki's car with all the boys in it not too far from the house. You really hope none of them recognized you.

You have to go into work today, so that's what you did. You manage a tattoo and piercing shop not too far from Chrissy's house.

You walk in. The smell of rubbing alcohol nearly burns your nose. You make everyone keep the supplies clean. You wouldn't want to get a tattoo that's infected because of the stupidity of the workers. You have no tattoos, which is odd since you work at a tattoo parlor.

You smile at Sebastian and Colin who are sitting at their chairs, ready to work. Sebastian doesn't have any tattoos either, but Colin on the other hand has sleeves.

You go into your office. A shit ton of paperwork is calling your name. You start on it, but you soon hear yelling from outside.

"You can't go in there, dude!" Colin says.

You furrow your eyebrows, but you soon realize who Colin was trying to keep out.

With a head full of teased blonde hair, Vince sits down in the chair in front of your desk.

"`What the fuck are you doing here?" You ask, wanting him to leave immediately.

You hate yourself for this, but you still love him.

"Why's your stuff gone? Is that why you haven't been answering my calls?" He asks. He sounds like he's genuinely confused, but you know that's not the truth.

"I'm supposed to just stay with the guy that cheated on me?" Tears spring to your eyes. If you're not careful, you will have a breakdown.

"I didn't cheat on you," Vince says, laughing as if it's a joke.

"Yes you fucking did. You fucked her while I was still on the phone!"

His eyes widen as if his memory was finally coming back. "I was wasted, (Y/N). I had no clue what I was doing."

"How could you forget me when I was on the goddamn phone?" You ask.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident."

"How can you accidentally put your dick inside of someone?" You laugh bitterly.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I lo-."

"Don't you fucking say those three words. If you really did love me you wouldn't have been unfaithful," You say, tears rolling down your cheeks. "Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see you again."

He doesn't say anything. He looks at you with sad eyes. He gets up and leaves without another word. Once the door shuts, you allow yourself to breakdown.

You let out all the tears you'd been holding in. Fucking hell.

------

Two weeks pass. Everywhere you go, Vince seems to be there. He'd beg you to go back to him. You wish that he'd just leave you alone. You want to forget him. At one point he even sent you a hundred roses to Chrissy's house. She told you to go back to you. She said it's obvious that he's still in love with you. You almost gave in. Almost.

You get back to Chrissy's place absolutely exhausted. You'd given so many piercings today along with a mountain of paperwork. You just wanted to sleep.

However, Chrissy left you a note on the coffee table.

Meet me down at the beach. We're going to have dinner on the sand tonight. -xx Chrissy

You sighed. Maybe that will help you de-stress. One can only hope. And with that, you go back out the house and to the beach.

Fifteen minutes later, and you arrive there. You get out, looking for Chrissy. Her black hair is hard to see, but you instantly spot the nearly neon shirt she's wearing.

She walks over to you, linking her arm through yours. She starts pulling you down the beach.

"So, what are we eating? I'm starving," You say, forcing a smile.

"You'll see it's a surprise," She grins.

You groan. "I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one."

She stops at a path that's covered with roses.

"You finally proposing to me?" You laugh, confused.

She laughs, pushing you to go down the path. You do so, looking around at the gorgeous layout.

You finally arrive at a canopy tent thing. You aren't sure what they're called. Standing i front of it is none other than Vince Neil. You cover your mouth with your hand. This is amazing.

"Vince," You breathe out.

He walks over and grabs both of your hands. "D'you like it?"

You nod, completely speechless. No one has ever done something like this for you before.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I was being an idiot. As soon as I realized you weren't going to come back, I felt like there was a piece of me missing. You're my other half. You're my girl. I love you so much. Seeing the way I hurt you, it killed me. I'm so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

You look into his eyes you can tell he means it. "Yes. I love you too."

He kisses you deeply. His hands rest on your hips as he pulls you closer. You wrap your arms around his neck. He smiles into the kiss, which makes you smile.

He pulls away. "Now that that's settled, let's eat. I'm starving!"

Tags:

All fics: @the--blackdahlia @sugar-content @sharon6713 @siliwanoel @charlyallise

Vince: @moon-beame

[bbyyoungblood]

Eastside | e.d

Based off the song Eastside by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid.

when i was young, fell in love

we used to hold hands, man, that was enough

You met Ethan Dolan when he was just a rambunctious ten year old with big toothy grin and a buzz cut. It was the first day of fifth grade and you were new to New Jersey. You got on the bus and the seat next to him was the only one open because Grayson wanted to hold hands with Holly Sanders. Ethan wanted to hold hands with a pretty girl, too, and with one look at you, he knew he wanted the pretty girl to be you.

You remember his pretty hazel eyes light up as he told you his name. “Hi, I’m Ethan and your pretty! Do you want to sit by me? Also, can I hold your hand? My brother, Grayson, says that we’re ten now so I should get a girlfriend like him.”

His words were a lot to take in but the butterflies in your stomach were telling you to take his hand and never let go.

“I’m Y/N.” you said timidly, the boy infront of you being a little more than you think you could handle. You sat down and sunk into the seat.

“That’s a nice name. Wanna hear a joke?” Ethan was all over the place and you were buckled in for the ride.

“Um sure,” you giggled.

“What did the fish, um, say, Gray? What’s the joke again?” Grayson rolled his eyes at his brother, angry because he was interrupting his conversation with Holly. Ethan looked back at you, “Grayson always tells this one better.” You couldn’t believe that.

You didn’t say anything back, but just listened to Ethan talk your ear off. That was the day you fell in love with Ethan Dolan. People would tell you that you weren’t in love, being ten and all, but you and Ethan wouldn’t hear it. Especially when he took your hand and told you you were now his girlfriend and you were definitely going to get married within the next few years.

Then we grew up, started to touch

Used to kiss underneath the light on the back of the bus

You had your first kiss three years later on the same bus you first met Ethan on. The only thing that had changed was you were now eighth graders and E had longer hair. Ethan and you had been ‘dating’ since that first day on the bus, your relationship lasting much longer than Grayson and Holly’s.

Ever since your best friend Mariah kissed her boyfriend of three weeks, Jamison, you were feeling upset. How could she just kiss this boy after three weeks when your boyfriend of three years hadn’t kissed you yet? He’d held your hand on the bus a million times but kissing was never something he tried. Let’s just say you were ready and world be damned if you weren’t going to get your first kiss soon.

That day you got onto the bus after tenth period and stomped to the back of it where Ethan was. He smiled and grabbed your hand pulling you towards him. That is until he saw the look on your face.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“No I’m not okay, Ethan! Mariah kissed Jamison!”

“And you are upset about that why?” Ethan’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“Because! We’re going into high school, E! And Mariah has only been dating him for three weeks, not even three years like us! She got her first kiss before me!” You looked at Ethan with the most pathetic look on your face.

Ethan just smiled pulling you down on his lap. He grabbed you face and brought it towards his, kissing away your pout. You pulled away and smiled bigger than you ever had before.

“If you wanted a kiss you should have just asked, Y/N. You know I can’t read your mind.” He said with a laugh.

“Oh shut up,” you giggled and went in for another peck, ignoring the whistling and hollaring from Grayson who had just walked on the bus.

Being thirteen and in love was something people laughed at but just like when you two were ten, you weren’t hearing it. Ethan loved your smile and you loved the cheesy jokes he’d write on crumbled gum wrappers.

oh no, your daddy didn’t like me much

and he didn’t believe me when i said you were the one

oh, everyday she found a way out of the window to sneak out late

Another three years passed and the bus was traded in for an old blue Corvette Ethan bought when he turned sixteen. He pulled up to your house and gave you a kiss on the cheek, then one on your lips.

“Hey, babe, I’ll see you after the game, yeah?” Ethan said as you took off your seat belt. “I’d come in but your dads home and I don’t reckon he’d be too happy about that.” Ethan laughed but you saw the hurt in his eyes.

You father tolerated, use this term lightly, Ethan up until about three weeks ago when he caught you sneaking out the window and running to Ethan’s car. This ended with your father threatening him with a baseball bat and Ethan saying he’s loved you for six years and sure as hell wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

Your extremely religious father refused to let anyone love his first born, especially someone like Ethan. He was ruggedly handsome and played football. A far cry from the blond hair, blue eyed golf player you father wanted you to end up with.

You looked at E with sad eyes and reached up to touch his face. “E, I’m sorry. I love you, okay?” He put his hand over yours and squeezed. “Hey, stop frowning, tonight I’m going to be cheering you on and when you win, I have a surprise waiting for you,” you smirked.

“I’m so in love with you, Y/N. So fucking in love.” Ethan always looked at you like an astronomer looked at the stars: with all the love in the world. You couldn’t believe he would want you when he could have anyone. “After the game we’re going into the city. Tell your parents you’re staying with Riah because I’ve got a whole night planned out for you, baby girl.”

And that he did. You two drove to the eastside and the sun never set on your night. At sixteen and seventeen, you two talked about the future and all the babies you were to have one day. During that moment you knew Ethan was your forever. He had been since you were ten and would continue as long as he’d let you love him. Ethan thought the same of you. You were each other’s life line, neither heart could beat without the other one.

and then, oh, suddenly we turned twenty-three

now we got pressure for taking our lives more seriously

we got out dead-end jobs and got bills to pay

“Fuck.”

You threw down the positive pregnancy test onto the counter while slumping onto the cold tile floor of the bathroom. This is not good, you thought. Granted, you couldn’t quite be surprised. Protection was the last thing on you twos mind, lately.

You had just graduated from college and moved into a new apartment with Ethan. The first couple months were amazing. Everything felt right because he was your best friend and knew everything about you, but then reality set in.

Being fresh out of college, pay wasn’t great for either of you in your fields but that didn’t stop expenses. Ethan and you never fought until now. Electric, rent, groceries, water, and the list goes on and on.

You were tired. Tired of fighting with Ethan, work, and most certainly tired because of the little being growing inside of you. All you wanted to do was cuddle up with E and let the world slip away from around you just like it did when you were seventeen. Unfortunately, that had no place in the adult life of Manhattan.

You heard the front door jingle and then slam shut. Ethan’s foot steps leading towards the kitchen, then calling your name. “Y/N? You home baby?”

Baby. “Yeah, E, i’m in the bathroom,” you called back. Hearing him walk down the hallway you decided to get off the floor and lean on the counter. The door creaked open and you saw Ethan’s beautiful face.

“What are you doing in here?” He asked softly, walking over and pulling you into a peck.

You just kissed him back and reached behind you for the test. Opening his large palm and sliding the test in, he looked confused.

“What’s this?” Ethan lifted it up and looked my closely with widening eyes. “Oh my— are you, are you pregnant?”

You started to let tears roll down your face for the first time since you found out. Nodding, you whispered, “Yeah.”

“Oh fuck.”

His words made you cry harder as he pulled you tight against body. Just like he’s done for the last ten years. The two of you just stood there for an hour, not saying a word until Ethan spoke up.

“Hey, go put on some warm clothes. We’re leaving in fifteen.”

“What? Where are we going?” you questioned, looking up at him.

“For a drive.”

After ten minutes you were in the same blue corvette as the one when you guys were sixteen. Neither saying a word, just Ethan with your hand in his and soft oldies playing in the background. It was around seven when Ethan pulled up to the beach, putting the car in park.

“Why’d we stop?” You asked, missing the feeling of driving pulling you to sleep.

“Wanted to watch the sunset.” You just nodded at this. Ethan loved sunsets and you loved him.

Ethan and you say in silence the next thirty minutes, watching the colors paint the sky and then get washed a way but the waves. After the sun set completely, you expected Ethan to put the car in drive and start on his way home but he didn’t. Ethan just looked over at you and smiled.

“Baby, I know your scared, because I am too, but we’re going to make this work. I am going to love and support any decision you make, I promise.” He let out a loud breath. “Things have been overwhelming recently and I haven’t told you I love you as much as I should have, so I’m sorry, Y/N.” Now Ethan was crying while lifting up your hand. “You are the only person I want, I want you to be my forever.”

“Ethan I love you so fucking much.” You closed your eyes and wiped your tears, only to open and find Ethan holding a little black velvet box.

“I was going to ask you on Friday, you know our ten year anniversary,” He laughed out, “But now seems as good as time as ever, considering I’ve knocked you up.” Ethan grabbed you hand, then your ring finger, rubbing it lovingly. “Y/N, my love is yours if you’re willing to take it, will you marry me?”

“Oh my god, yes! Fuck yes, E!” You grabbed his face kissed him hard. All fights and doubts escaping Ethan and you in that moment. You’d never felt love like that before.

That is until eight months later when you gave birth to miss Penelope Gray, named after Grayson, of course. And then a year after that when you said ‘I do’. Only continuing on to Asher and Ryder, your twin boys.

Your heart always swelled when you saw Ethan with your kids. he loved them with his whole heart.

The love you and Ethan shared was always in the purest form. It never failed you. From the young age of ten to the old one of one hundred, you and Ethan would love each other. Always and forever in eastside of the city where the sun never set on your love.

[thearrangment-phff]

LXIV.

August 2018

“Thank you for showing me around.”

“It’s no problem. I’ve been wanting to come to Wales since I got married anyhow,” replied Isabella.

“Why haven’t you until now?”

“Honeymoon, engagements, then of course the horrible pregnancy,” answered Isabella.

“Can I ask you something?” asked Elisabeth, Isabella’s second cousin as a Princess of Belgium.

“You can ask me anything.”

“Is there a reason why I’m being pushed to go on a date with your cousin Paul Louis?” asked Elisabeth.

“If I had any answers I would tell you, but I do not,” answered Isabella.

“I’m 16 years old and while I should be boy crazy, I’m not. I will one day rule Belgium and I have no time to be messing around with silly little boys right now.”

“While I don’t understand your position, I understand where your heart is coming from. I think you will make a fantastic queen and a worthy successor to your father. But I also understand that having a consort who understand our way of life would be the best option in the long run.”

“Paul Louis is 20. I don’t turn 17 for another couple of months. I’m not going to start a relationship with anyone who is years older than me.”

“Paul may not carry engagements but his parents do. He understands the lifestyle and he wouldn’t be a bad man to marry.”

“You do realize that Paul Louis is trying to date Zita right?”

“Which Zita?” asked Isabella.

“Bourbon-Parma,” replied Elisabeth.

“You have to give me more than that. There are too many Bourbons and too many Zita’s this family.”

“I think she’s Henri’s cousin. Your future brother-in-law Henri.”

“Paul Louis and Zita?” asked Isabella trying to imagine them together.

“Well I might be wrong and she might want Leopold. I don’t really spend a lot of time with them in the first place so you can't trust my word hundred percent.”

“I might have to talk with him, Leo, and Charlotte. It seems like so long since I’ve seen them anyhow. You grew up so fast so I can’t imagine seeing them again.”

“You are going to Belgium for uncle Baudouin’s anniversary right?” asked Elisabeth.

“Of course. Are they going?”

“Last time I heard they are. Even your grandmother Yolande is going and your aunt Margaretha with her family. It’s supposed to be a big thing,” answered Elisabeth.

“Uncle Baudouin meant a lot to many of people.”

“I think it’s amazing that Charles carries Uncle Baudouin’s name. It will remind him later on that he comes from the Belgian kings just as much as the English ones,” smiled Elisabeth.

“Have you talked with Joachim lately?” asked Isabella.

“He is fine. But you shouldn’t be asking about a former lover when you’re married.”

“Former lover? I can’t believe you just used those two words.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to call him? You two were never a thing but at the same time you were something,” replied Elisabeth.

“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

“Why? Because he’s my cousin? Or is because I’m younger than the two of you and not supposed to know about this kind of stuff?”

“Because I haven’t thought about him in so long but seeing you reminded me of him. I’m married with children, I don’t need to think about Joachim.”

“This isn’t helping but... he misses you. He got drunk one night and cried in Aunt Astrid’s arms saying how stupid he was. He still wants you and I know that telling you this is not fair because like you said you are married with children, but I think you deserve to know.”

Isabella looked at Elisabeth seeing her great-grandmother Queen Astrid of the Belgians in her face. It broke her heart hearing the stories of poor Queen Astrid by those all around her. All anyone had were stories and pictures because of how young she died, “Do I really deserve anything? I have a kind husband, wonderful children, and a life that many wish for...”

“Some people can have everything yet still feel empty. The year before aunt Fabiola died you came to Belgium. Your parents thought it would do you good to be with her and family, and of course with my cousin,” said Elisabeth.

“I remember that summer... everyone thought the Belgian coast would do me some good but in fact, it made everything worse. I spend more time with my head in the toilet than anything else,” laughed Isabella.

“I remember thinking during that time if he could not put a smile on your face then nothing could. You would spend all day in your rooms and then disappear at night. It hurt to see you like that in all honesty.”

“I hate that those are the memories you have of me, I-”

“Those aren’t all. I have many goods ones, better ones,” interrupted Elisabeth.

“I fear those will be my children's memories of me. The depression, the anxiety, and it’s no way to live. My children deserve better than having a mother like me.”

Isabella looked at her wine glass before staring at her phone. It read 02:29 so that meant she had been for the past 4 hours. By drinking she could no longer breastfeed her sons and because they were being breastfed someone else had to be found.

“What are you doing?”

Isabella turned around to see Harry at the door, “Drinking. What else does it look like?”

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” said Harry as he got closer and attempted to take away the glass.

“I am already on my second bottle so don’t bother.”

“I thought you had gone to sleep. You were exhausted today.”

“I was. That is why I decided to drink my sorrows away,” laughed Isabella.

“Can you walk or do I need to help you to your bed?” asked Harry.

“Join me. I can pull out the vodka or bourbon if you’d like.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on. Don’t you think we deserve it? We have newborn twins in the other room we need this Harry,” laughed Isabella.

“I’ll have some.”

“Great! You can have the bourbon.”

“What about the boys?” asked Harry.

“They have Gaelle and Olympia. They are fine. They’ll have someone taking care of them and I’m not breastfeeding anymore. Just loosen up Harry,” answered Isabella.

Harry was reluctant but he allowed Isabella to pour him a drink. One drink turned into two and next thing Harry remembers is Isabella smiling at him from the floor with the bottle of gin in her hands. He had never seen her so relaxed and it broke his heart a little to know that he would never truly know her.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” asked Isabella with a small hiccup.

“Can I ask you something?” asked Harry.

“Uh... I guess?” laughed Isabella.

“Who was your first love?”

Isabella let out a loud groan, “Do I really have to answer this?”

“Yes.”

“Joachim but do I really even know what love is? How do I know Joachim was my first love? I’m still so young. Do you even know yours?”

“Chelsy I suppose. I dated her on and off for 7 years,” answered Harry.

“Joachim was my everything when I was little. I was pushed to Amedeo but he was... 6 years... older than me so he had no interest in a little girl. To my grandmother’s disappointment, I found Joachim more fun. It was always the two of us together and then stupid hormones came along.”

“He was your first everything?” asked Harry.

“Of course he was,” laughed Isabella.

“Did you ever regret anything with him?”

“In all honesty... I regret not marrying him when I was 18 and he proposed on a beach in France.”

Harry took another gulp of bourbon, “He proposed?”

“He did,” laughed Isabella as she took a sip of gin from the bottle.

“Obviously you said no because we wouldn’t be here if you did.”

“I was 18 and I was going to the states for uni. I told him to ask me again in 10 years because we were so young in the first place.”

“Then I came along,” said Harry.

“You did. Don’t think I hate you and regret the life we have now. Charlie and Bertie mean the world to me, I would never regret having them.”

“But your life would have been so different. It would have been better marrying your first love,” replied Harry.

“He wanted us to get married in Brussels surrounded by all our family. We had already named our kids. Astrid, Charlotte, Leopold, and Charles. We had our whole life planned out. We would live in Switzerland, he would work with our Habsburg family in banking, and I would work at the UN. We could’ve been happy,” smiled Isabella as a tear feel down her face.

“When I look at you sometimes, I hate myself. I feel like I stole your life from you,” confessed Harry.

Isabella looked at him with shook, “You don’t have to hate yourself. You act like I didn’t have a choice. I did and I choose you.”

“But the thing is... you shouldn’t have to choose me. You shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place,” replied Harry.

Isabella crawled over to him and planted herself by his feet, on the floor, “You aren’t a bad guy. I could’ve married worse,” joked Isabella.

“You can still divorce me and marry Joachim,” suggested Harry.

“Why can’t you just accept that you and I are together! God! I thought I was difficult with my emotions changing all the time,” laughed Isabella.

Harry looked down at her for a couple of seconds before sliding down to be with her on the floor. Isabella continued to drink from the bottle of vodka and red wine and all Harry could do was look at her. She finally looked back at him and was about something before burping right in his face. Isabella busted out laughing and then wouldn’t stop apologizing to Harry.

There was this one moment where they both stared at each other. In a daze, Harry remembers kissing Isabella. He remembers undressing her on the bed as she continued to kiss him with a passion unlike before. Isabella remembers the feel of Harry’s beard on her body. But none of them remember the night clearly. So when Isabella wakes up late in the afternoon, she finds herself and Harry in the same bed. She didn’t raise any questions and simply walked back to her own bed, going back to sleep in the process.

When Harry awakens the next day he remembers Isabella, except she wasn’t in the bed when he woke up. His first thought was everything that happened last night was just a dream. Hours passed and Isabella and he was supposed to get ready to go to a performance of Hamilton. Harry found her in a long red dress with her hair done and feeding their eldest son as Gaelle fed Albert.

“Are you ready?” asked Harry

“Yes. You?”

“No breastfeeding right?”

“No. Can’t do that since I was drinking last night,” answered Isabella.

Harry wanted to ask her about last night and ask if they did anything but there were too many people in the room. He thought about asking her in the car ride to the theatre but then decided that wasn’t the right time either. Harry would simply have to ask questions when they got home.

[852recordstores]

852recordstores.com/products/ost-almost-famous-original-soundtrack-20th-anniversary-deluxe-edition-6lp-2021

OST - Almost Famous Original Soundtrack 20th Anniversary Deluxe Edition 6LP 2021

Deluxe Edition, Boxed Set, Anniversary Edition

The Grammy Award winning Almost Famous soundtrack is reissued as a super deluxe 6LP 180-gram vinyl boxset with 47 songs from the film including Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac & 6 Stillwater songs. Unreleased songs: "Tiny Dancer (Almost Famous Version)" with Elton John & cast, The Who's "Amazing Journey / Sparks (Almost Famous Version)" & more. Collectibles include a Stillwater poster, concert tickets, 40-page book & the William Miller cover story on Stillwater as a '73 Rolling Stone newsprint.

Disc 1

1 The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) - Alvin & the Chipmunks

2 The Oogum Boogum Song - Brenton Wood

3 America - Simon & Garfunkel

4 One Day You'll Be Cool

5 Amazing Journey / Sparks (Almost Famous Version) - the Who*

6 Search and Destroy - Iggy & the Stooges

7 Rock N' Roll It's Over

8 It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference - Todd Rundgren

9 Don't Take Drugs

10 Teacher (U.S. Version) - Jethro Tull

11 We Are Band Aids

12 Roundabout - Yes

Disc 2

1 Incendiary

2 I've Seen All Good People: A. Your Move, B. All Good People - Yes

3 Feel Flows - the Beach Boys

4 This Is Penny Lane

5 River - Joni Mitchell

6 Piggyback Ride (San Diego)

7 Fever Dog - Stillwater

8 Every Picture Tells a Story - Rod Stewart

9 Small Time Blues (Acoustic) - the Hyatt Singers

10 Something in the Air - Stillwater & Cast*

Disc 3

1 Easy to Slip - Little Feat

2 Rolling Stone Magazine

3 Go All the Way - the Raspberries

4 Mr. Farmer - the Seeds

5 One Way Out (Live) - the Allman Brothers Band

6 Don't Forget the Rules

7 Albert Flasher (Live) - the Guess Who

8 Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd

9 Just Made Us Look Cool

10 Love Thing - Stillwater

11 That's the Way - Led Zeppelin

Disc 4

1 Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere - Neil Young & Crazy Horse

2 Future Games - Fleetwood Mac

3 Burn - Deep Purple

4 You Had to Be There - Stillwater

5 I Am a Golden God

6 Dear Jill - Blodwyn Pig

7 Tiny Dancer (Almost Famous Version) - Elton John and Cast*

8 Looking at You - MC5

9 Reeling in the Years (Live)- Steely Dan*

Disc 5

1 Lucky Trumble - Nancy Wilson

2 Untitled - Jeff Bebe*

3 I'm Waiting for the Man (Live)- David Bowie

4 Your Mom Kind of Freaked Me Out

5 Please Welcome Stillwater!

6 Love Comes and Goes - Stillwater

7 You Gotta Take What You Can, When You Can

8 The Wind - Cat Stevens

9 Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - the Jimi Hendrix Experience

10 Slip Away - Clarence Carter

11 Misty Mountain Hop - Led Zeppelin

12 Wishing Well - Free

13 Cover of the Rolling Stone

Disc 6

1 Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John

2 Colour My World - Jefferson High School Band

3 My Cherie Amour - Stevie Wonder

4 Cortez the Killer (Live) - Neil Young*

5 You Made Friends with Them

6 The Rain Song - Led Zeppelin

7 We All Know What You Did to Him

8 Bron-Yr-Aur - Led Zeppelin

9 What Do You Love About Music?

10 Tangerine - Led Zeppelin

Release Date: 20 Aug 2021

#Almost_Famous

[stretchjournalemerson]

Give Him Space

By Fiona Murphy

My dad stands across from us. We are waiting for him to speak. It’s hard to say how long we have been waiting, how many seconds slip past—his hands splayed out on the edges of the counter like a martyr on a cross.

He hasn’t lived in this house, the Big House as he calls it, for six years and his presence is always slightly off. Years from now, I will remember him here with sunglasses on his head, to-go cup of coffee in hand, ready to leave as soon as he enters—as I will see him so many times after this.

I am the only one of my siblings who went to school today. I sat in my second grade classroom and raised my hand for morning prayer.

“I wanna pray for someone in my family who died.” I said, beaming with pride. Having someone to pray for was like a gold badge of honor.

“I heard about that,” My snippy teacher who seems to hate me for being too loud and having bad handwriting said. “Your uncle, right?”

The memory now sits heavy in my stomach, an inexplicable kernel of shame. I watch my brother’s polar bear patterned pajama clad leg kick the counter in front of him over and over, creating a steady beat.

Yesterday, in the Party City parking lot, my mom got a call and paced circles around the car for half an hour. My sister, the oldest, was pulled aside in the balloon aisle, hearing what my brother and I are waiting to hear now.

My dad’s hand scrubs down his face every few minutes punctuated with a heavy sigh. His eyes are bloodshot red. When he does begin to speak, he doesn't stop for a long while. He talks about Jack and what happened and what he did and something about the funeral and how it is our choice if we want to go. All of this will be lost to me eventually. Only the sentence, “I just want you kids to know I would never do anything like this to you” will stick.

I don't go to the funeral. I guess it’s a choice I made, but I wish someone else had chosen for me. And chosen differently.

*

I am fifteen in my freshly painted bedroom. The walls are dark purple, masking the light blue my brother painted it before me. I thought it would be cozy but now it makes me feel as though the room is quickly shrinking. It is spring.

“Dad wants you to call him!” I yell to my mom. We are at the Big House. My sister and my brother have ended up living with my dad in his gray one-story across town.

“What?” She asks, appearing in the doorway.

I don’t bother to pause the episode of Gossip Girl I am watching. Blair is running to meet Chuck at the top of the Empire State building.

“Dad wants you to call him,” I repeat.

She groans, reluctant like a teenager, and dials him. She rolls her eyes at me as she listens to the dial tone.

“Hello?” She answers in her phone voice, always louder and cheerier than necessary. Her face falls and she turns away from me. I pause and both Blair and I are suspended in time, her with a discarded bouquet of pink peonies in hand.

I catch snippets of the conversation. The muffled sound of my dad’s voice on the other end punctuated by my mom’s sympathetic “Okay”s and worried eyes.

“It’s Daniel.” She says when she hangs up.

My dad doesn't make a speech this time. Or if he does, it’s at his gray house and I’m not invited.

My mom doesn't say how uncle Daniel died, and I will never know.

Daniel was the youngest, like me, but he never seemed it since Conor, my dad’s other brother––died at only nineteen. He was frozen in time in my mind, though I’d never met him, an eternal teenager. I hadn’t seen Daniel in years, and to me he was frozen, too. Late twenties, always smiling, soft-spoken compared to Jack and my dad.

My mom goes to the funeral without me though again, I can’t recall deciding. I wish someone had put me in the car, someone had put their foot down. I spend the weekend alone in the Big House which seems to be getting bigger. My purple bedroom threatens to swallow me whole.

My dad was the oldest of six: two girls, four boys. By the time he is fifty, he is the oldest of three and has no brothers. My siblings and I make three to begin with. What are our odds of lasting? I wonder. Will we make it to fifty?

*

It is Mother’s day and I am seventeen. We are in a park downtown sitting on a bench in a meadow of purple flowers. The park is huge, spanning hundreds of acres. It’s scattered with grass fields, walking trails, and large yellow abandoned houses. It feels entirely removed from the city as if we could disappear into it.

We watch dots of people wander around the beach and the lighthouse below us. The Puget Sound extends for miles past my eyeline. My mom says something offhandedly, a casual mention, that this is where my uncle Jack died. She says it and only I hear it.

I knew he died in a park. My mom said it once when I was a kid. I think I overheard it though I can’t imagine who she was telling. The news said he didn't look like himself. She said. People thought he was a homeless man. He looked crazy.

At the time, I pictured Jack with a full beard, tattered clothes, and a crazy look in his eye. In my mind, park meant playground and he sat on a bench in front of one. Townspeople running from him, shielding their children, in disgust.

That image transforms from cartoonish to vivid.

It was spring and the park was probably filled with people. I wonder how many people heard the sound. I wonder how long the ambulance took to back down the curving dirt road. I wonder, regrettably, how he was found.

He didn't even look like himself. That stuck with me. I examined my father all through high school. When I saw him for hours at a time, weeks apart. I would inspect his face for a change, as if he would wake up one day unrecognizable and I would know and I could somehow fix it. I was trying to lessen the fear I felt, that it would happen suddenly. That the funeral would come and go too quickly to stop it.

“I think there’s a bench somewhere in the park, dedicated to him,” my mom says. I keep my eyes on the distant dots of people, they walk along the edge of the water. Close but not touching. Somewhere here there is a memorial in the form of a park bench. Some sign of remembering. But with its endless horizon and acres of dry grass, how could we find it? There’s no one to ask––no one I could build up the courage to call.

*

I am eighteen and I am in my father’s Denali. It’s filled with discarded paperwork and crumpled notes on yellow legal pads. It perpetually smells of cigar smoke now, the habit he picked up last year to quit drinking. It makes my stomach turn.

Somehow, it is brought up that it is the anniversary of Daniel’s death. The call in my purple bedroom was three years ago now, though it feels much longer. I don't know if he brings it up or I bring it up. I fear it’s a very me thing to do. It’s the anniversary of the death of your brother, I’d say. Suddenly unable to follow up on what I started I’d go quiet. He’d be forced to reply once the silence grew too suffocating, sticking to the seats and muffling the radio. Yes, yes it is.

Once it’s brought up, it sits in the air for a moment too long.

I remember last year when his parents came to stay at my dad’s house. I went over for dinner and after they left, he told me as he walked them to their car, his father told him he was glad he quit drinking. We were always worried about that, my grandpa had said.

When my dad told me this he smiled but scoffed. “Why would you wait until I quit to say something? Why wouldn’t they tell me they were worried?”

We are at the stop sign a block from the Big House.

“Are you okay?” I say finally, not looking at him.

“Oh,” he says wryly. “I’m okay.”

We pass the stop sign. Sunglasses on his head, coffee cup in the center console. He looks like himself. I’m always worried about you, I think but don’t say.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m okay.”

It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to talking about it. Any of it.

Acknowledgements

I want to acknowledge my uncles who were filled with love. This memoir is meant to be about my experience of their deaths, but I want to acknowledge the beauty and joy they brought to me, my family, and everyone who knew them during their lives. I also want to acknowledge my dad, my aunts and my grandparents––who have felt and mourned their loss in ways I will never understand.

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