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starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago

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For the Danyal Al Ghul AU: How would Danyal react to other canon events like when Sam wishes she never met Danny, Tucker wishes for powers, the christmas episode, or other DP canon events?

(Also, I assume Danyal's cover is blown by the reality Gaunlet event.)

Ohooho I love this question. So im only gonna respond to the episodes you mentioned, since it's been a while since i actually watched the show and I don't remember all the episodes. And also since I don't remember them fully, I'm gonna get details wrong. I am fine with that, it still gets the gist down lol. I've got the tvtropes recap page pulled up, so i'll be using that to try and hit the major points it mentions.

So, Memory Blank! Man I've thought about that one, and its the one I'm frankly most excited to answer because it gets to show just how much of a positive impact being friends with Sam and Tucker had on Danyal. So where to start? Their fight goes differently than in canon, but I'm going to start from after Sam makes her wish.

Firstly; she and Tucker are friends, but the two of them are not friends with Danny. He's on his own. In this au, the three of them became friends when they were 11 and Danny's been in Amity Park for about a year.

They met in the beginning with Sam trying to befriend him at first because she realized that they shared similar ideals on environmentalism, but he rebuffed her pretty harshly due to a combination of grief over leaving his home, trying to process the fact that he can never return and will never see his brother again or meet his father, and just plain League arrogance lmao. He really hated being in Amity Park just in general because it wasn't his home and it was the city too.

So he was really rather unapproachable in the beginning. People kept a pretty wide berth of him due to Fenton association and his own vibes.

But Danny's still a kid, and they want socialization with their peers. At 11 he didn't have any friends, and was frankly quite lonely. He decided to approach Sam and Tucker after deeming them "acceptable allies", although Sam wasn't really interested at first up until he did the equivalent of apologizing. Tucker warmed up first afterwards, but Sam really wasn't too far behind.

So thats how they became friends, post-wish though? Lets say that Sam didn't accept the apology and rebuffed Danny, and kinda intimidated Tucker into doing the thing. Danyal closed down, backed off, and then never approached them again because he decided right then and there he wasn't going to chase it. Wasn't worth his effort or time.

Then he just. never approached another person after that because he didn't want to get rebuffed again (he wouldn't admit that it hurt a bit), and he could already tell his efforts wouldn't work. He turned his attention to other stuff. In this timeline it wasn't too difficult to find him at events dedicated to combatting climate change, deforestation, light pollution, animal cruelty, etc. the LOA is an environmentalist group, after all. They just also happen to be eco-fascist assassins-for-hire.

In summary, Sam and Tucker helped Danyal realize the flaws in some of the League's beliefs (the fascism) to the point where he could deconstruct it on his own. Being friends with them made him realize that, frankly, genocide was not the answer to environmental equilibrium, and that the people outside of the League had lives worth living. They also helped quell his arrogance, and just in general influenced him to become kinder even if it doesn't look like that all the time to other people. Sam and Tucker make him laugh, and smile, and just happy.

OG Danyal: wears pretty casual teen clothes. More punky-aesthetic. Has multiple ear piercings. These were self-done. Will have a lip piercing by the time he reunites with Damian, mark my words. Can and will wear muscle tees. Makes puns, jokes, is generally sassy with his friends. Can, will, and has climbed shit he shouldn't be because he enjoys the challenge of scaling a building. It's also very funny seeing Tucker and Sam reenact the "Gregory! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE?!" meme. Still has a questionable moral compass, but like, he's not an eco-fascist.

This Timeline Danyal: dresses much more sophisticated; dark academia vibe. Closed off, cold. Is 2x more likely to kill someone than OG Danyal, who was frankly, pr kosher with murder already but only if he deemed it extremely necessary. Still an eco-fascist.

Danyal without Sam and Tucker? Still believes in the teachings of the League because he has not been really challenged on them. In fact, he has doubled down on it, actually. Living in the city, growing up estranged and ostracized by his peers, has only strengthened his resolve that all of humanity minus the league (and the Fentons) deserves to be wiped out. He is disgusted by the people around him and desperately wants to go home, even more than the last timeline. The only reason he hasn't is for Damian's sake, but he's been checking in with mother whenever she visits and asking to find a way to come home. She's been steadily wearing down on it; her child is miserable here.

This version of Danyal should not have powers, and is, essentially on the fast track of rejoining the league -- doubly so when he hears Damian is living with father. Clearly it's safe enough for him to be with father, if mother allowed it, and father has become safe enough for Damian to live there. Good. With the threat of two heirs being in the League gone, Danny can return with Mother's permission. And. he probably takes Jazz (and the Fenton parents) with him. Forcibly if he has to.

So Sam has her work cut out for her here, a lot more than in canon, because even when she does tell him that they used to be friends in another timeline, and he believes it, he is not going to give a shit. Clearly they were not as good of friends as she thought they were, if she had wished they never met in the first place. Good riddance, then. This Danny is cold, incredibly hurt, and very closed off.

He is a cave wall in comparison to the Danny Sam knew, and talking to him feels like walking into one. Because he is looking at her with just utter disgust and disdain, keeping a distance like he is revolted by her presence and allergic to her and everyone else's touch.

Which really, really fucking hurts when she knows that in their last timeline, he would actively seek out her and Tucker's company and affection. Sam could read her best friend like an open book, and now its like she's trying to read one in another language she barely speaks. This boy used to smile at her, he used to laugh at Tucker's jokes, and he was so passionate about the things he enjoyed. Now he looks at her like he wants nothing more than for her to drop dead on the spot.

It hurts even more knowing that her last words to her Danny were the words, 'some days i wish we never met'; the way he looked at her afterwards haunts her. For a split second, he looked completely crushed and heartbroken, before his entire body language and expression shut off and he totally closed down on her.

Because by this point in his friendship with her and Tucker, he's told them, he has told them, in a very intimate moment of vulnerability, that they are one of the best things that's happened in his life -- right there alongside the day he first met his baby brother. They are very important to him, and he has finally felt comfortable enough with telling them. There's not a day that goes by that he isn't grateful for their friendship.

So to hear Sam say that some days she wishes they never met? well. That breaks his heart. Just- just a little bit. Sam regrets it the moment it leaves her mouth, and she immediately tries to apologize, but Danny immediately spits back; "Well. I hope you get your wish." and then stalks off.

I'm warring with myself here trying to decide whether or not this new timeline Danyal is at a "point of no return", where nothing Sam says is going to make him attempt to reignite that friendship. Clearly that will end badly anyways, if this is the result of that friendship. He's cut all ties from these people; he feels no prerogative to fix things she broke.

Like, the version of Danyal I'm thinking of here has no close bonds with anyone in the city sans Jazz -- and she? has her own life outside of Danny. She is not his keeper, not his caretaker, and certainly not his therapist. (which i have beef about too, considering how she gets boiled down to 'therapist with no life of her own' but im not going into that.) She has some influence on him, but frankly not enough to really make him challenge his beliefs. Danny cares about her that, if he returns to the league, she is coming with him. Or at the very least, will be spared from the League's goals.

Mmmm. I can't make it a total point of no return though. Sam's very stubborn, and she knows Danny. And while this Danny is still very different, he is still Danny. She'll try and befriend him insistently in a way that might annoy him, but at least not push him away further.

(Tucker, meanwhile, is just soo confused about Sam's very random, very abrupt switch up. Cuz girl he thought you hated this guy? Why are you suddenly trying to get all buddy-buddy with the terrifying Fenton kid. Have you been possessed? Is this some kind of crisis?)

(Sam drags Tucker into befriending Danny because he is the only person she knows that can get him to belly laugh. Tucker is mildly terrified but going along with it.)

Anyways this does end with Sam befriending Danny, or at least getting him to like her long enough that he'll pick up a ghost weapon and face off against Desiree. There's no way in hell he's walking into that portal, that last timeline might have been a 1/billionth chance of it happening and he's not dying for the chance to get powers. And frankly with his training -- which he's probably kept up with even more than the old timeline because he had no one to spend his time with -- he doesn't really need them to be good at fighting them. Just show him how to ghost proof a weapon and he'll handle the rest from there.

But Sam does end up undoing the wish and getting back to her own original timeline in the end. It's the morning after her fight, and the literal first thing she does that morning is get her shoes on and fucking sprriiint to the fenton house. Bursts into tears when she sees Danny and apologizes over and over again. She swears she didn't mean any of it, and to please believe her, and Desiree's still loose and they need to stop her, and she's had the worst time.

She does tell him about the other timeline she just went through, and she hopes that, if it still exists, that that Danyal manages to find friends in the Sam and Tucker there after this. And if not them, then anyone.

Danny's still pretty hurt by what she said, it cut really deep, but he forgives her.

-----

Tucker getting his powers! Frankly things gooo... relatively the same as canon, I think? Actually, no. Danny probably figures out the whole Genie "i wish you would go back into your lamp" thing faster than canon danny since he's not a C student lmao. TV.Tropes doesn't give me too much specifics for a recap on the plot, so we're gonna wing it. For the plot I'm going to say that Tucker gets his powers before Danny figures out the "i wish" thing, which happens relatively quickly.

Danny tries to be... rather supportive of his friend getting powers? Especially since, in comparison to Danny, it was rather painless. However, he's also very suspicious. He doesn't trust the source of Tucker's powers, and warns him to be careful and to let Danny know if he feels off in anyway.

Tucker does end up helping Danny a few times, but the quick progression of his powers and Tucker's willingness to use them more often than not worries him. He reminds him a handful of times that Tucker shouldn't rely on his powers to help -- not even Danny does that. He prefers to use his weapons and martial arts to fight instead. Tucker doesn't listen.

And they end up fighting anyways. Things get resolved, everything turns out okay!

------

Christmas episode straight up just. doesn't happen. Danyal doesn't care enough about the Fenton arguing or about Christmas to be upset about said arguing. He thinks its really childish, but he's not a grinch about all of it.

--------

Okay it wasn't explicitly mentioned but i have thought about TUE. And I'm trying to think how that would go because it's the result of Danny getting his hands on the math answers and cheating. Which Danyal would not do.

And someone mentioned in the comments on my ao3 under the oneshots there that TUE might just straight up not happen. Which makes sense, Danyal is so different from canon that things don't have to always happen like it did in canon. So that's something I need to chew about, cuz if it does happen, then I'm going to figure out a different way for it to.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danyal al ghul au #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul #usually i'd have a plethora of tags to add. but i dont really have much running commentary in mind lmao #i technically could just blow them all up in nasty burger just without the added 'cheating' thing. however. thats boring.#so i'll do my own thing #things in threes au

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maskedtako · 5 months ago

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Love Bullet Cupid pearlapis/lapearl

I want to start this by saying- I am NOT a writer. i SUCK at writing and grammar, and i really suck at illustrating very emotional stuff- which is why most of my aus is just cool concepts that would be fun to think about.

This wont be a story and more like my idea written down in a weird way- so it's bad and doesnt read like a fic- actually i have no idea how it reads ^^;; With that in mind. Love Bullet Cupid pearlapis/lapearl AU

(Also just putting this all in a single post because im new to posting in tmblr and im bad with pacing stuff -head in hands- ) ---------------------------------------------

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Lapis got into an accident that shot her car off a cliff and into the cold ocean. Her actual death is the water that flooded her car and drowned her.

She woke up years later just at the edge of the water, her weapon already sitting by her side. With no guide she had to figure out stuff on her own.

--Stray Bullets --

Pearl was one of Lapis’s early Targets (this was before chapter 7+ where we learn about the Target Board)

Being emotionally inept Lapis had a hard time landing shots that lasted, often pairing up the wrong people and wasting bullets when it had no effect at all.

She stumbles into a pair (Rose and pearl)

Maybe they were childhood friends that just stuck together, or middle school buds that never split.

This time even Lapis could tell that Pearl has a special connection with Rose, especially with how much the peach blonde kept following her around.

So, thinking that this was a safe shot to take. Lapis aims her gun at Pearl who was looking at Rose and boom! ♥

Finally! a successful pair.

Before Lapis could celebrate the first red in her gun’s love gauge she notices another person arriving.

A chill going down her spine as she recognises the heart eyes in Rose's eyes that’s directed at Greg

Shit.

Did she just pair this girl with an already established couple?

Lapis lowers her gun as she stares at Pearl's back, watching the couple flirt.

Shit.

Lapis tries to brush it off, another whoopsie, who cares, she doesn't.

Or at least she shouldn't. But she couldn't wave away the guilt she felt for essentially fucking up this girl's life.

So while taking missions nearby (and messing them up) Lapis quietly follows Pearl's life, watching her burning love, her never ending yearning and the deep sadness that lingers her form. The merciless pain piercing through both of them.

(Parallel to my theory that Lapis has seen Pearl's memories when she was in the mirror and stored them in her gem.

Always there, watching but never able to do anything [ hearts in pearl's eyes never fading away ] )

Lapis sits on the balcony, elbow on her knee, chin in her hand, watching Pearl with half-lidded, awkward eyes. Pearl stares ahead, her expression a raw mix of love and pain as she looks at Rose.

Lapis watches as the years go by, horribly failing at her cupid missions; she neglects them in favor of following Pearl around. Watching everything.

Watching her confront Rose when she got pregnant

Watching her pain when Rose died during childbirth.

Watching her work hard to help Greg with raising Steven while constantly mourning her love, never ever getting over it as years goes by.

When Steven was 13 years old, a terrible accident happened.

Exhausted from years of overworking, Pearl lost her footing and fell down a large flight of stairs.

Lapis watches in silent horror as her target tumbles down, bump by bump, before ending with a bloom of red circling her head like a halo.

She died shortly.

-- Pearl --

Pearl remembers her body becoming cold, desolate and lonely.

She's tired, very tired, and sleep was beckoning her.

In the dark cold she recalls a wish

A wish to be loved.

Pearl wakes up in a pile of Rose petals, her hands brushes against a shotgun buried under the flowers.

And the first thing she sees is an angel perched on the stairs she fell from, crouched, messy hair with a rifle hanging from her shoulders.

The first thing she heard was a quiet chuckle.

"What a horrible way to die"

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Them as cupids!

bonus since this is kinda ooc

#lapearl #pearlapis #renew steven universe #steven universe #artist on tumblr #love bullet #su lapis lazuli #su pearl #su

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lucystark12 · 8 months ago

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how to convince the ga that byler isn't rushed (kind of just a rant about lettergate)

they need to and i mean NEED to vecna mike because the only way the ga will understand that byler has been built up since the beginning is if we’re given scenes in context. we as bylers obviously get it but byler is at risk of being labeled “too rushed” if they don’t put effort into referencing the important parts of mike’s feelings developing.

the audience doesn't really have a problem with believing that will is gay and in love with mike because there are things in his arc that are just obvious and clearly point to that.

but mike on the other hand is in the middle of a love triangle. unlike most of the other main characters, mike isn't open about his feelings. we don't get his internal monologue. he doesn't tell others how he's feeling. thats why its so easy for bylers and milevens alike to interpret his every move in either direction. it's purely because we don't know. so, in season five, there are things they have to address and give concrete meaning to so that people understand how byler actually does make sense.

the most important scene that i’ve already kinda talked about to do this is...

this one, obviously, the most important little part of all of byler's season three. i want vecna talking about this. i want mike thinking about this. it’s crucial. it’s essential. his behavior here is weird as hell! it even reads weirdly in a script that was released and then edited quickly after. it's important and it needs to be addressed and treated as such. in the script (forgive me if i'm off, i don't have a copy of it so this is from memory) it reads as "what's wrong with me?" that obviously points our way, but since we don't get his internal monologue there's no way to be sure. it needs to be addressed.

this is also kinda lettergate proof because i think the unsent letters and the fact that mike did try to call will also be essential to proving what was going on with him during the gap between season three and four. if i were in charge of the show, i would do a whole flashback sequence to these six months. i want to know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, what he's thinking, how the people around him are reacting to his behavior. we need a shot of the love, mike. it's SO IMPORTANT.

literally i could scream about how important (and likely) lettergate is.

one thing that REALLY scares me about lettergate is the possibility of them reddieying us. yes that is now a verb. for any of you who never had an it 2017 phase, reddieying is where richie and eddie, two characters, had feelings for each other but never admitted it. at the end of the movie after eddie dies, we get this scene:

this is what i like to call reddieying. and yes that is also finn wolfhard. this is why we are scared.

the letters could be used in a VERY similar way if either mike or will dies to express the love that they both once had for each other. closure of sorts. i think that would be VERY poor writing (we've all heard my theory about how mike's love for will is literally essential to the ending of the show) but i think it's highly possible especially given the overlap between it and stranger thing's fandoms. the letters could be read at the end in a similar way to the way hopper's was, sad heroes and all. this draws another parallel.

yes i am bringing newtmas into this. fuck you.

above is a letter written by newt from the maze runner to thomas. newt is confirmed gay by the author of the book, and this letter is written to thomas but never read by him until newt dies. letterboxd reviews of this movie read:

"that letter at the end was the gayest thing I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve seen call me by your name."

"homophobia is thomas reading newt’s declaration of love and the shot cutting to thomas scratching his ex’s name into the rock ABOVE newt’s"

"newt, to thomas: "and i remember you. [...] i knew i would follow you anywhere. and i have." me: *im ready to be queerbaited again meme*"

and i didn't even have to search for these. these were like the top couple reviews of the movie. they were all on the first page of reviews.

all i'm saying is, by having the letter be an idea in our minds, they've set up a way to kill off one of the characters and still have a slightly resolved, weirdly up to interpretation ending. i do still think it's poor writing. i could kind of go into that too if anybody is interested.

i think that if lettergate is used as a device during mike's flashbacks to show how long he's felt this way that they will be using this thing they've set up for good, however, if they newtmas us and reddie us i might die. just letting you know.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #byler nation #byler is endgame #byler brainrot #reddie #newtmas

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yaekiss · 22 days ago

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Oh damn shout out to 🪻anon. im gonna try and not spend every moment.thinking about blade and mydei competing

also qi. qi. pretty please. share resurrection thing. 🥺. if u want. but please. but only if u wanna. but 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺

im eepy i givr u kisses now (*‘ω‘ *)💛

reallll 🪻 nonnie is not only cooking irl but also cooking w the blorbo ideas 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🧑‍🍳🧑‍🍳🧑‍🍳

anyways! the resurrection thing!! half-baked yandere plot idea under the cut! I typed a whole 400 ramble in a dm to myself LOL so forgive me if the formatting or pacing is awful. [post writing qi here. this thing is no longer 400 words...]

You wake up disoriented, unable to remember what happened before you... Passed out? The floor is nice and polished and clean elsewhere except for the spot you laid on. It's a little grimy and darkened but oh well. At least you're not in pain.

You inspect yourself for injuries. Something's definitely wrong when you look down and. Alarm floods through your system.

This isn't your body.

???? What happened? You wrack your brain for memories but all you can remember are snippets from before you blacked out. Despite your best efforts, you can't recall anything that deductively explains this jarring situation.

You'd try to find more clues however, you're snapped out of your thoughts when someone walks into the room, eyes widening as they see you. "You're awake...!" They rush over from the doorframe, immediately fretting over you, asking if you feel alright, if anything hurts.

Although the person's appearance was sudden, a sense of familiarity seems to rise up within you. You're not close friends with them but maybe you've seen them around in passing somewhere? ...Or maybe it has something to do with the person whose body you're inhabiting?

You're now presented with an internal dilemma: Do you confess the truth or play it cool? The person fussing over you right now probably knew the person whose body you're in well, if not, why would they be so touchy? Confessing the truth would backfire, given how much they care for "you". But obviously you're still missing a lot of info about "yourself", so you play it off as a temporary sort of memory lost (hey makes sense after waking up right from something bad enough to worry someone so much over right?) to try and understand more about this situation you've been thrust into.

Feigning weakness, you put a hand up to your head, "Where am I...? What happened?" The person's brows furrow but straighten out again before you can remark on it

"Oh, you poor thing you..." Rambling on and on about something like a high fever or overworking yourself to exhaustion something something.

"I thought I'd never see you again, dearest," their voice carries a hint of grief, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you while you recover." They sound so earnest, and it breaks your heart at the implications.

Well, that settles it then. You've unwittingly taken the place of your poor saviour's loved one. The guilt gnaws at you but you shove it back and rationalise that it's best to stay put and find clues to make the swap back to your old self.

The days pass by in a blur when you're made to play pretend. Maybe it's pure luck when they don't notice anything at all odd with your mannerisms. But sometimes, you can't help but feel uneasy at their blatant disregard and indifference to actions or habits that you've definitely butchered.

It all culminates when you try to leave the house. Perhaps you've gotten fed up with this precarious game of charades. Or you've reached dead end after dead end, unable to find any hints that'll fix this whole situation.

And you're almost out of the place when a door creaks open, rooting you to the ground where you stand. You feel arms snaking and hugging you from behind. Their voice right next to your ear, low and frighteningly calm.

"Where are you going...?"

When you don't reply, not even gracing them with a look, they nuzzle as best as they can into the crook of your neck. Their words muffled, breath slightly warm on your skin as they say, "I can't lose you again."

Their affection is misplaced. You're tired of the constant guilt and pretense. Temper crackling you whirl around to face them head on. Something that you reckon you should have done a lot earlier.

"I'm not even who you're thinking of! I'm a complete stranger!"

They try to reach out and hold you but you shove them off, causing them to slam against the door leading out. So much for leaving, you don't even know where they keep the keys.

However, most of all, you can't stand the way they're looking at you right now. There's no trace of confusion despite the nonsense you've just spat out.

As if they've seen right through you from the start.

Against your better judgement, you run and duck into a side room, hoping to buy some time or sneak out through a side window. Anything just to get away from their searing gaze.

Surveying your surroundings, your eyes slowly adjust to the dimmer lights of this room, contrasted with the brighter lights in the house outside.

Only to find small belongings from your original life (can you even call it that?) littered throughout. They cover the table that's next to a shelf full of books in an indecipherable language. Pictures of you are pinned and arranged on the walls.

Nausea sets in within you. Nothing makes sense.

The door to the room opens and clicks shut softly.

"What is the meaning of this," your voice barely above a whisper, "I don't understand."

They shift to take the spot next to you, taking your hand and entwining your fingers together. They croon out your name, dripping with saccharine, cloying, revolting, sweetness.

"They couldn't find your body you know. It drove me mad." Their other hand mindlessly traces designs up your arm, tone lighthearted despite the topic.

"I was in such a fugue state, I barely even realised what I was doing... Not until I had the whole spell drawn out on the ground." They say so nonchalantly, as if bringing you back from the dead was nothing to them.

Mustering up the courage to pry your eyes away from the shrine they've made for you, you turn to look at them, clinging to your side. Their gaze is trained on you wholeheartedly, lashes lowered as they drink up your attention.

You must be losing your mind because the shadows behind them seem to flicker in and out strangely, inexplicably distorting the surroundings around the both of you like a scorching summer heat wave. Sweat starts to prickle on the back of your neck despite the temperatures in the room plummeting. Cracking open your mouth, you ask.

"Whose body is this?"

HOLY MOLY that. uhm. this got out of hand. this is no longer the original 400 words. anyways I initially wrote this with kylar (dol) in mind so ask me again if you want the more kylar parts LOLL I cut them out for this... also below are just some basic outline pointers I wrote for myself too and I just wanted to chuck em somewhere:

(the character lies to you to get you to trust them) (reader believes them and is sooooo guilty at somehow stealing the place of their lover's consciousness but has to play the part) - {both reader and character are playing pretend but they don't know each other are part of the same game} {character is playing up their innocence so they don't scare you off and you love them back} {reader is playing up the loving role to ultimately survive and get their life back and/or escape}

ok thank you for asking to see the resurrection idea thingy ainsel luv u 2 <333 please please please tell me what you think of this brainfart of mine........ [pleading eyes]

#📜.qi writings #📜.qi musings #📜.qi chats #chats with ainsel!#yandere #yandere x reader #i think this warrants a musings tag rather than a ramble tag #too nice and complete sentence-y to be a ramble methinks #if this is inchresting enough #I mighttttt be tempted to write it in full for a character some day (after my donation prompt fics are completed ofc!)

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111557 · 1 month ago

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dear girl blog,

this post will be my first and, i think, my longest.

i have hit a bad point in my life and i've been stuck here for a while. ive dropped out of school, stopped talking to my friends, broke my phone, quit my job and overall had the most horrible mindset. i found shifting and manifestation and it changed my whole outlook on life.

i shifted the first time i tried (no method. i didn't know what those were at the time. all i did was 'universe, if this is real, ill wake up with one thing different'). when i woke up, i didn't see an immediate difference and assumed i just didn't shift but thought i was just doing it wrong.

as i lived through the next few weeks, i started noticing things i KNEW where different. my mother and i have a matching freckle on our hand, but when i asked her about it, the freckle i had wasn't the freckle that matched hers. instead we had completely different matching freckles in a random spot. when this first happened i didn't realize i had shifted and thought it was just a kink in my memory.

i've been trying to shift again for the past few months and had no success in shifting to my DR. i struggle with making DRs and staying connected to them. choosing a one and sticking with it is complicated for me i have no idea why. anyway back to the point, i've been trying to shift for the past few months. i have noticed something change but i'm unsure if it REALLY happened.

for example, my dad came to my door to drop my brother off to my moms house and he told me his girlfriend was pregnant and that my almost stepsisters and brother already knew. i then went about the next few weeks thinking i was going to have another younger sibling (i'm the oldest lol).

a week or two later, i'm thinking back and wondering if it was a dream or not. i have weird dreams every time i attempt shifting so thought that might be one of them. i asked my dad if his girlfriend was pregnant or if i dreamt it, and he said no, it must've been a dream. i thought about it for a while, trying to connect the dots on when the dream happened and why i don't remember waking up. like usually ill remember something completely bizarre happening after but it was completely normal.

i have two friends i talk to about this stuff. one, my best friend, is actually a shifter too. the other one is someone i've been close with for about four/five years but recently grown apart. they do not believe in manifesting or shifting or ANYTHING. they told me, i'm planting these memories into my head. they think it's unhealthy for me to be into things like these.

the whole time they were telling me this, my brain was screaming at them, saying they're wrong, saying they just don't understand. everytime they spoke, i had something to contradict what they were saying (i didn't say it to them as i hate arguing with them 😭) i have no idea if it was the universe testing me or a friend trying to help me and my brain not wanting to believe shifting or manifesting is real.

i so badly want to prove to myself this thing is real and that i'm not wasting my time, so that's what i'm gonna do. i've never been so interested in something so i'm taking it as a sign. i am going to shift and live my dream life. i owe it to myself.

everyone who's having shifting doubts, YOU have got this. YOU owe it to yourself. when you do it, all the effort, time, belief you've put into it will all be worth it.

i'm writing this because when i shift i want people to know i am having mega doubts right now. i'm questioning if this is real but my brain is telling me, yes, it is go for it already bitch.

anyway hope you guys enjoyed my rant 😭 happy shifting or something. ive never had a tumblr blog im kinda scared LOL

#manifesting #reality shifting #shifting #shifting blog #shifting motivation #shifting antis dni #shifting community #shifters #shifting realities #dr ideas #shifting ideas #shifted

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abreathlessplace · 5 months ago

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im dying

im slowly dying but its okay.

im slowly dying but its okay, your the only one i desire. im slowly dying but its okay, to be seen is to be loved. im slowly dying with nobody that understands me. the ocean might understand me but you won’t.

do people only love me because they couldn’t find someone better to love?

im slowly dying but its okay. take my hand, i’ll protect you and you’ll protect me.

im sorry mom for not being the perfect daughter you’ve always wanted. i keep forgetting i am here, as a person. no one ever told me; in love you drown. desired but never loved they said.

life is more than being alive, my head spins and i am back in my childhood home. where love is everywhere.

where did that love go? i never hated you, i couldn’t hate you if i tried. believe me, i have tried. i stay home a lot, listen to music and think too much.

baciami, kiss me. i wonder what i look like in your eyes. i fell in love with you because you loved me when i couldn’t love myself.

the bastard winked at me, the only thought in that moment was ‘oh shit’.

am i difficult to love, or am i just unloveable? every time a man yells, you are seven years old again.

we drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick. its all lie, darling.

you said you wouldn’t and you did it anyways. silly me, thinking you cared and she used to be the sweetest girl, she cared. i always cared. that’s my problem.

let me die first or i will die twice. tell me how i can love you in a way that it feels like love for you. he smelled of cigarettes and sadness.

people are people, and sometimes it doesn’t work out. if you feel nothing then why are you shaking?

when im lost in my own head, i look for you but you are nowhere to be found. sometimes i noticed when you glanced at me in the hallways, and when i passed your classes or when our eyes used to meet.

im not stupid. im too sober for this i told myself, but after all this time, i can’t believe i still want you. i don’t know why im still hoping like an idiot.

my heads so loud, i want to turn it off.

im slowly dying but its okay. i wish i could just ask you what you think of me. i worshipped the myth i made of you, but im off my knees now.

i wish i could have saved you, please forgive me. i am my own ghost haunting the memories i love the most. when i first saw you, i knew it was going to end soon. starved of love and anything good.

i want to live not just survive. i guess im not just a thing you left behind.

im sorry to break it to you, but that little girl isn’t coming back anytime soon.

i want to feel again, i want my time back please and if we don’t talk again, remember i loved you.

i forgave you a long time ago, but i never forgot the words you told me that night and what if i told you about what happened that night? the night where you weren’t there and i had to take care of myself, while another man was touching my skin and it wasn’t your touch-

stop, you’re creating problems in your head again stop that.

im slowly dying inside but its okay. i’ll be okay.

this is a game. no wrong, no rights only a winner and a loser (we’re not that different, you and i)

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ungodlysaltyinfrastructure · 7 months ago

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Hey… so uh… Alux witnessing his mother die in front of him, anyone?

Aha. So um. I inexplicably went missing on tumblr...

Why? I tried deleting an experimental side blog I didn't need/want, and because I don't know how tumblr works, I had actually deleted my main account (Note to self, never venture off into the account settings, WITHOUT CHECKING WHICH BLOG IM ON) I was devastated about it, but, it may have been a good thing for me, question mark? I had been embroiled in toxic queer discourse (aphobia sucks), and it took a toll on my mental well-being. So I took this unfortunate deletion of my work as a sign to relax a bit, despite the pit of panic that formed when this happened. Luckily, I'm better! (again >_>) and I still love Alux Rising, so here I am, making my grand return! back at it again with more way too long character analysis!

I would've posted about my abrupt leaving of tumblr sooner as I was eager to explain everything, but then AR 14 dropped soooooooooooo

Okay. Ar 14. Just made me incredibly happy. A major thing that had been missing for me was actual depictions of Alux as a child. He goes on about how his childhood was rough, but we never actually got to see such. Only the aftermath of such childhood with his relationship to Elric.

Now that we've seen it,

Oh God. It explains, a lot. I always thought Alux acted weird, so much so that I started to theorize that he was *actually* autistic/ASD (More Asperger's Syndrome but that term is no longer used)

But now…

I still hold firm in my Autistic Aro Alux Headcanon, but now his “lack of character” makes more sense to me.

It's made out that Alux's lack of character was prominent in his childhood, as his mother says that one day, he'll learn to like whatever he likes, and he'll be his own person, inferring that he doesn't understand that yet as a child. That's really intriguing to me. Apparently, his blandness was apparent in his childhood, and now in his adulthood. And it seems that the only thing he fully knows how to do, is to help people. If this lack of uniqueness to his character was in his childhood, then maybe the fact that Alux is bland is a defining character trait for him. One that will be overridden by this developing story of Alux rising. (Aha! Character development!)

Now, in relation to Alux and his parents.

It seems like he followed his mom more than his dad. That's why he brings her up in his and Elric's argument, and why he says “I like what you like!” and “I want to be just like you” To her in the memory.

And upon further rewatching, my heart just broke.

In the memory, Alux's mom says “But remember to be the best version of yourself, and to treat others how you want to be treated.”

How does Alux treat others currently? *He constantly helps them. protecting them, making sure they're OK.*

*sigh*...

Ok.

I'm really glad that we got this flash back. It actually helps put some character into Alux (even if it being trauma) and his lack of reaction to a lot of things makes much more sense. Even after the whole flashback, his lack of talking about the memory for why he had such a strong reaction feels very realistic considering the circumstances.

Another thing I realized, when Alux snaps out of it, the surrounding magic of green crystals is the orchids. I'm crying.

It most definitely seems like witnessing his mother's death stunted Alux's mental development to a degree, mostly in the sense that he doesn't fully know who he is, what he wants, or what he likes with what seemed to be his only supporting figure in his life now gone. If he still had his mother, maybe he would've turned out differently. (Wow shocker, I know.)

And honestly, we all knew Alux was traumatized, but I did not expect it to be to THIS extent. I just thought his mom died of an illness, and he wasn't there to see it but she was gone.

I was. SO WRONG.

Dead wrong. One could say.

Like Alux's mom- *cough*

anyways- yea Alux's nickname should definitely be Horny, Professor Red- oops, sorry *GEARS* comes up with the best nicknames, in fact he should become president and deliver every presidential speech in his rhyming scheme.

Oh and James is not dead,

Apparently.

#alux rising #favremysabre #ar alux #sorry for going missing #life likes to flip itself over your head #and then you don't know what to do #BUT #I'm back #😎#a series of unfortunate events happened and im here to rectifiy it #anyways ar dropped and im here to make art lets all rejoice and celebrate🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

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sleepyhouse2art · 3 months ago

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when i see cute little reminders on social media to "take your meds" i feel so hateful. the commodification of mental illness and its growing popularity as a sort of astrological shorthand for an actual personality by mostly healthy people is mad depressing and annoying

dont tell me to take my meds, you creepy weird motherfuckers! the only people allowed to say that shit to me are my doctor & my husband & my friends. do you think i want to be treated like a baby because i have mental illness? why do YOU seem to want to be treated like a baby? youre on paxil sharon

like my mental illness makes people watch me and check on me and not trust my perception of reality or my memory of things. sometimes i do get straight up treated like a kid by people. if i remember an event differently, i am always wrong. its really frustrating

so no, i don't find it very nice when people infantalize me and i don't like watching people needlessly infantalize themselves. it is mad creepy. it feels like observing a diaper fetishist or something. the whole thing gives me the heebie jeebies

i wonder if it is life being so hard and mean that motivates people to adopt the "sick role"? i understand wanting care but i genuinely think people are hamstringing themselves by pathologizing normal feelings and behaviors because it's making them think they're sick when they really aren't that sick. often people aren't even sick at all and instead just going through the human experience, which is fraught and difficult all on its own without any augmentation by a brain on the fritz, no mental illness needed.

nobody should want to be a patient. its nothing to aspire to. there's no joy in it. it is uncomfortable and the medicine is not safe. i have to take it but it's not like i want to and i feel sour when somebody reminds me. please don't remind me of my shit when it already dominates like my whole life

no, sharon, i do not need a bedazzled pill basket. no, sharon, i do not want "peer support", you are creepy. i hate to inform you that you are not a tubercular 18th beauty languishing in a gorgeous sickbed. you are in a fandom that prizes sickness and this is shameful to me.

your sickness makes you binge watch tv and eat bonbons and passively ideate about scratching your thigh up with a pin. i know pain is relative but like, i used to store my own blood in ziploc bags to protect my home and every painting in my house has told me to kill myself. i have not left my house in over a year. i am on three antipsychotics right now and i am still having frequent hallucinations and they scare me so bad i can't help but react sometimes and that scares my husband and makes him want me to go somewhere just like everybody else wants me to. im trying to stay OUT of the fucking hospital, not WANTING TO GO. im terrified of being raped and killed and i know it will happen to me next time i go. everyone says no, but they don't have my knowledge.

what im saying is this stuff fucks my life up. i cannot live normally. i cant even really take care of myself on my own if im telling the truth. i know im sick. i get reminded all the time. i don't need validation. i wouldn't touch a psych or a therapist or a pharmacy with a fucking ten foot pole if i had the choice. i know im kind of going off rn but who the fuck would want to be a consumer of this boring, tedious, control-abdicating, bad for your body bullshit? i do not understand people like this. i want to be free. be free, sharon!! and stop telling me to take my fucking meds!!!!

#sleepyhouse2 life #as a schizophrenic person this really ticks all my boxes re: feeling observed #i also feel like my computer and the mental health system push this shit on me on purpose to demoralize me and control me #i fucking hate sharon #i know its not nice but i do #sorry guys #love you

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fandomfantasyy · 7 months ago

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MASSIVE WARNING FOR II 17 SPOILERS ++ INANIMATE INSANITY THEORY ++ ADAM KATZ TWITTER CODE SOLVING !!

i am holding onto way more hope than i should, however, this is a stray theory of mine that im holding onto for said hopes sake.

to those who haven't watched ii 17 yet, PLEASE keep scrolling. i mention just about everything that happened in the episode, and im basically reviewing it at the start. the episode is so much better without any spoilers!!

so, inanimate insanity 17. if you don't wanna hear me blabber on and on about the episode, scroll to the other big text. otherwise i am RANTING i need an outlet. 3:

inanimate insanity 17 was a rodeo. me and my partner had a few straggling theories before we watched it, and a few of them were true. knife did indeed punch cobs, they really did fight, everyone that heard was disappointed to find out they were made by mephone 4.

starting with the majority of the opening sequence, going from memory here, knife's desperation? ow. suitcase's new found paranoia? OW. them doing everything to find out what was wrong was so bittersweet, because you can just tell that they don't know how to stop it and are holding onto to random theories and hope.

nearing more of the middle section, i completely forgot that bow could possess people. made me giggle a bit tbh….. besides that, I HATE COBS HE MANIPULATED MY BABY, TOILET. ☹️ the admission of guilt from mephone 4, only to realize his apology could never speak loud enough almost killed me. lightbulb, fan, and test tube, all dead. the bright lights poly. when toilet told mepad that he understood it wasn't a competition anymore? and when cobs pulled off toilet and begun killing everyone? jesus christ dude (also im a little sad at the lack of extra pronunciation on "your" when paper yelled at salt saying "hes not your boyfriend" as a payjay shipper but....)

more on the end side, the fight convinced me for a damn while. it doesn't make sense to me how one single throw got knife extremely scuffed and chipped, but it's finneee, it's show logic!! :3 anygays. the main painful time. the pull of the plug, prompting toilet to call himself "the best assistant", the way knife put his hand on suitcase to comfort her, the way cobs SACRIFICED MEPHONE X??? dude this show is gonna make me go bonkers.

last but not least, "the show is over," and mephone 4 has no choice but to go back "home" with cobs. ow.

there are still so many questions. the eggs helped power everything, but were they fake? how did mephone 4 find the land he built inanimate insanity on? obviously it isn't fake, he's still sitting on it at the end of the episode. where's 3gs? what about mepad? was mepad made up? too much to answer with too little information.

overall, what a painful episode. it seems like the end, right? wrong.

inanimate insanity is not over. we are getting ii18.

at least, thats my theory. average movie length spans 1½ hours to 2½ hours. us inanimate insanity fans were told that this finale would be as long as a movie. right now, we are only at an hour. i dont remember the last time i watched a movie that was only an hour. they're out there, yes, but i doubt the creators would pray on very short movies to support their angst.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

season one and season three's final episodes ended with a "the end". ii17 did not have this end card. this seems like a very crucial thing that they couldn't just "leave out". after all, why on the most important finale of all of the finales so far, would they leave out saying "the end"? if it's truly the end, they wouldn't leave it with a black screen and a sobbing community. (the last part, maybe, but not the first part.....)

both season one ended with 18 episodes, and season three ended with 19 episodes. season two seems to almost be ending on episode 17. this could go either way, with season two ending with a pattern of 17-18-19, OR, if we're really lucky, 18-19-20. (or we just get an extra 18 or smth idk)

there is a reason why this is only a stray theory of mine. only 6 days before the release of ii17, adam katz and brian koch were saying their thank you's and goodbye's to the inanimate insanity community. it feels like the end of this show is near, if not sadly over now.

overall, i still have hope. but this wont be clear until we either see a ii18 trailer or we dont. i will regularly update this with new information as it gets found by me and my partner. goodbye for now, inanimate insanity community, and good luck.

robot adam's twitter saga.

connecting to that, more hints have already been found. there was a code on cabby's wiki that is decoded to “You want the second key word? These pages are your answer. Next, go to the three time player with the lowest average placement." (credits to @\MeesterTweester on twitter/x !!) this brought the fandom to nickel (i believe), and im not quite sure what it says.

however, i do know one thing. it's been solved, and my theory was proven true.

we will be getting episode 18 of inanimate insanity by late november.

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petrifiedperi-au · 8 months ago

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Holy ok ok ok so I just read your dev having trouble with being around Cosmo and Wanda but I bring you a different approach. What if he is mad at them! Trying to shift some of this huge amount of guilt because at least he went to Peri! His own parents left him alone to die. (I can’t remember if you said if they actually knew where he was or not)

Oh lordy oh ok gewze imagine Dev having this moment of realising he has something in common with Peri because he sees his parents as neglecting him. How sad would that make Dev? To realise how much guff he gave Peri cause he thought Peri couldnt relate at all. So he pushed him away but then thinking how wrong he was and how Peri did understand. (Even though we know cosmo and wanda are nothing like Dale and really did love Peri just saw a different priority) but the potent agnst of Dev having a miss understanding of it. Everytime Peri tries to deny it Dev relates. Everytime Cosmo and Wanda gush over Peri makes Dev fume because he sees it as all a show. He thinks he knows how it is behind closed doors. Even if hes actually wrong. It could really help them bond. Until Dev finally sees hes wrong and it’s gonna make a huge rift between them as he blames Peri for pretending to have a bad relationship with his parents. Probably saying it was to “mock” Dev or something.

On another note. Do you think Peri would actually be upset that his parents decided to save fairyworld instead? Maybe rationally he tells himself it was the better choice. That it was what ended up bringing him back. It was what saved all the other fairies who take priority. Hes just one guy. But thats still gonna hurt. Knowing your own parents can and have picked the masses over you. Knowing you arent worth the world to them. Of course he wouldnt actually expect them to choose him but maybe deep down he wanted them to? Idk im loosing it cause I just got off ruff 12hr shift at work lol.

Hope this isnt too off the money for your au I just really enjoy angst

~hollys fairy hell

[AU info here!]

OOOOHHH... THIS IS INTERESTING. WHILE C&W DIDN'T KNOW THAT PERI DIED, DEV BEING ANGRY BECAUSE OF THAT IS... OUGH. I think it DOES check out, actually. Feeling angry that they didn't even KNOW their son died, the blame being shifted to help ease the guilt... IT MAKES SENSE, AND IT'S IN CHARACTER.

He's seen their relationship before, and he knows that they're all such a genuinely happy family, and that makes him feel not ONLY GUILTIER, but MORE FRUSTRATED, MORE ANGRY. Their own son DIED, in front of HIM, and they DON'T EVEN KNOW.

HEAR ME OUT... DEV NOT KNOWING THAT C&W DON'T KNOW UNTIL PERI MENTIONS IT. Him assuming that they ALREADY told their parents, and that's why he was absent for a few days. THE GUILT SHIFTING INTO A MISDIRECTED ANGER ONCE PERI MENTIONS THAT THEY DON'T KNOW AND THAT THEY WANT TO KEEP IT FROM THEM... of COURSE, the guilt is still there, but it blends in with the other feelings and it's a Very Complicated Feeling Soup.

THE MISUNDERSTANDING IDEA IS NEAT... AND IN-CHARACTER. I don't know for SURE how I'd implement it [because my brain is very picky about the things I add, and I am too...], make it go, and ALL those good, delicious, juicy things, BUT BUT it will go on the backburner of thoughts. Specifics would probably just come to me randomly at 2 am like they have been lately gHDLSHSLHD 😭

WITH THE LAST PART... PERI DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED SPECIFICALLY. He was DEAD, after all, and SURE, he'd probably find out via things being talked about, BUT, GENERALLY, I DON'T THINK THEY ADDRESS OR THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

Hazel's Wish fixed EVERYTHING that happened in the episode, and I talk about how the whole Millio Wishes Thing worked here, actually! I have a vague idea of how things go with Peri after they come back, but I don't have any set in stone ideas yet/there's no established timeline. I think... THEY don't even know at first, they're just confused at the fuzzy gaps in their memory and then, once they get a closer look at themself and the GHOST thing happens [when they're alone] and all that... THEN they put details together and realize they They Fucking Died.

WHICH... PERI DOESN'T UNPACK THAT. NOT MUCH, ANYWAY. The finale ends as usual, with the motorcycles and all that— that's BEFORE he realizes there might be something off. DO YOU GET ME... LIKE...

THE ENDING ESTABLISHES THAT THINGS ARE OK AND NORMAL BUT THEN AFTER THE EPISODE, THEY GO BACK TO THEIR HOUSE/ROOM/C&W'S HOUSE [ALONE] AND THEN THAT IS WHEN HE KIND OF REALIZES HE FEELS OFF AND WEIRD. AND... OUGH. YEAH.

SORRY I'M... GETTING OFF TRACK. I don't think he'd be upset, not in that way, at least, given the circumstances. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE OR IF IT'S JUST WORD SOUP I'M SO SORRY I JUST WOKE UP LIKE AN HOUR AGO. I am throwing words at the wall and hoping they make sense HDJDDGKDDUI 😭

#anonymous #ask #au info #petrified!peri au #fop au #fairly oddparents #fairly oddparents a new wish #fairly oddparents: a new wish #fop #fop a new wish #fop: a new wish #fop:anw #periwinkle fairywinkle cosma #cosmo fairywinkle cosma #wanda fairywinkle cosma #dev dimmadome

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harpskae · 11 days ago

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my first ever shift happened when I did not know shifting was a thing

I was around 11. I am 18 now, and it is a memory I remember as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

About the context I don't remember much. I was a kid, I don't even know if I was 11, I might have been 10 or 12. I guess I went to sleep normally, as I always did. and as it sometimes happens, I woke up in the middle of the night.

since there´s nothing unusual to that, I tried to roll over and continue to sleep, but for some reason I felt like I didn't have enough space in my bed to do so, my legs were nearly hanging off. for context I had a double bed so i should have plenty of space. I tried to get comfortable but I couldn't so I figured I must be on the edge of the bed, maybe I moved a lot in my sleep or something. but still, while in the dark, I couldn't figure out how I could be laying down to feel so uncomfortable when my bed is that big.

since I was confused about my own position in my bed I decided to turn on the light.

back then I used to have one of those ikea´s children´s lights that hang on the wall, and since my bed was by the wall, I stretched myself out to grab the light switch and turn it on. except I couldn't reach it, because for some reason I was far away from the wall. and so I thought: how strange, im on the edge of the bed how even am I positioned so that I physically can't reach the switch. for reference this is how my bed was.

keep in mind I was still in the dark. it took some more effort to find the light switch in the dark, but in the end I found it and turned the light on.

and I hadn't been more confused in my life. this is what I saw.

my bed was half its size ???. I stared at it in utter disbelief. I was sitting up straight in the middle of my oddly shaped bed as I stared at my bed and the space between the bed and the bed. I thought: what the fuck. why is there a space. that space doesn´t exist. but it wasn't as if my bed had been cut in half during my sleep (lol), it looked as if it had always been like that. my room was exactly the same except my bed what half its size, a meter away from the wall and instead of a headboard and a footboard, there were two footboards ??. I didn't understand anything.

after processing what I had in front of me I thought: I must be hallucinating because im really tired or something. spoiler: I was not. either way, I intuitively started reality checking.

First I pinched my leg. it hurt. I pinched it harder. it hurt even more. I pinched my cheeks. they hurt. that's how I verified I was in fact awake. though I already knew that because I was clearly awake and my thoughts were rational and completely lucid but still I thought I would check just in case.

then I knew I was awake so, still in denial of reality I thought: then it must be that I am seeing wrong (💀).

2. I then rubbed my eyes just like cartoon characters do when they can't believe their eyes. I opened them and unsurprisingly my bed was exactly the same. I rubbed my eyes harder. I recall thinking: this is not gonna be good for my eyelashes. but I coudnt care less, still what I had in front of me remained the same.

this is when I started panicking a bit. how could this happen. it is impossible I thought. it literally made no sense.

3. so I started touching everything I had near me. I touched my legs, my bedsheets, I grabbed them. I could physically feel them. I was awake and they were real. all of this was, again, some form reality check I did in the middle of my little panicky state. then I decided to touch the footboard that was the same as the one in my actual room (CR). I remember focusing on the texture of the wood, and thinking: this is real. I can feel it, every detail, I´m awake. but that certainty didn't help me because I was starting to feel scared.

then I decided to touch the other identical footboard, the one near the wall. the one which doesn't exist in my CR. the one which in my mind, shouldn´t exist. I touched it, and just like the other one, it was completely real. I was getting more scared by the second. I didn't understand a thing.

lastly, as my "last resort", my last reality check in my disbelief, I thought to myself: I am gonna pass my hand through the gap between my bed and the wall. since that gap doesn't exist, I will feel the bed that SHOULD be there but I am not seeing, and that will mean I am simply hallucinating or having visions or whatever.

and so, slowly and in the most suspenseful and dramatic way possible (I swear to you, now looking back at how dramatically I handed the situation I always crack up, why was I like that) I put my hand in the gap. and guess what.

there was nothing.

no invisible bed.

no nothing.

just the gap between my weird bed and the wall 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

what was I expecting tbh. and so I officially freaked out. I put my hand in and out the gap consecutively in utter disbelief. and what did I do next? I started crying. I was a child after all.

then I "woke up" crying in MY ACTUAL ROOM, WITH MY BIG BED, IN THE DARK and my mom came to ask me what's wrong and all that. I briefly told her and she obviously told me it was a dream. as I had checked a thousand times, it clearly wasn´t a dream. I was awake.

I chose not to argue with her and soon fell asleep again, still confused.

at the time I had no idea what had happened and I sort of forgot about it completely. that was until a while after I started researching this thing I later found on tiktok in like 2021, they called it reality shifting. and from the moment I got that memory back (thanks to associating it with shifting), I knew that was a shift. a full-on shift.

this experience (and a few others I had afterwards) is the only and irrevocable reason that I know for a fact —and have always known ever since I learnt about it— that shifting is a real thing.

you can become conscious of other realities and they are and feel EXACTLY as real as this one. they are literally the same. in fact, thank goodness I shifted to an alternate version of my room bc if not I would have genuinely thought I was being kidnapped.

and it is also proof that you really don't need to do absolutely anything in order to shift, that is something natural to the human mind. maybe not a recurring thing, but a natural one. after all, how could I had done anything to intentionally shift back then to shift if I didn´t even know that was possible.

#shiftblr #shifting community #shifting #shifting realities #harpskae #shiftingexperience #shiftingtips #quantumjumping #mutuals #jakesim #enhypen

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my-castles-crumbling · 11 days ago

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Anon Advice Asks - April 19th

parallel line anon (new), bad memories anon (new), dan anon, support anon, exception anon (new)

parallel line anon

Cas, im so tired. Im so unbelievably tired. My parents have no idea whats happening with me and they dont care to ask hey whats wrong fucking ever. So basically ive had a shit day and week.

(The rest is redacted)

hi <3

I completely understand why you're tired. I get it. People are awful, bigotry is getting worse, and I can;t even imagine growing up in that environment right now. I hope you know you have a safe space here to vent and to talk to someone.

Do you have any safe people to talk to irl?

___

bad memories anon

hey Cas!

So Ive missed tumblr a lot (I took a pretty long break) and I came back woo but I made the mistake of going through my older posts and wow. bad memories.

I don't think I realised how bad my mental health used to be until I saw them and it obviously made me really upset. I don't know what to do because I like tumblr and I missed but now all i can think about is all that stuff.

I think I'll stick around but I sort of just needed to get this out yk.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Hi! Welcome back!

I mean I think it depends on why you came back--if you came back for the content and community, could you make a new account? That way you have a fresh start from the past?

If you came back for specific people, could you see if there's other ways to contact them?

If you are attached to this account, could you delete your old posts?

I think it also depends on what the memories are, and how much they trigger you. Like you have to decide what's best for you, you know?

___

dan anon

(dan anon) For the anon advice ask:

I really am having a regulus-like experience today.

More often than not i guess but still. Basically i liked this guy from my class, let’s call him James…today he basically, rejected me. He told me, he doesn’t want to go anywhere with me and to leave him alone, because when i (as this regulus-type person) talk to him, others annoy him for being gay.

My interpretation is, that now i am the problem. Which shouldn’t be…but i feel like one, when it is, clearly ‘thanks to me’

…my life feels like fanfic material, anyway, carpe diem.

hi, it’s me again (regulus-type-experience anon)

a little update after a few hours…it is not as bad as i thought. though i still feel like i am drowning in my own thoughts. my experiences are still fanfic material and i feel that i can never get rid of these experiences. honestly it’s only safe to say that this is where i started with writing, it’s just that now i don’t feel motivated enough to write. basically writers block.

Most of my problems come from the fact , i have yet to realize, that i can not save everyone. then i also spiral into my own thoughts of selfless-ness

Hi <3

Ugh, I can;t even imagine how much this hurt. I know its hard, but try to remember that it sounds like it's not personal. He's working through his own issues and they have nothing to do with you. Plus, you deserve someone who wants to show you off, you know?

As far as writing, could you just write down your experiences, and focus on turning them into something more clear-cut later? Like just get the thoughts out for now?

Sending love!

___

support anon tw: death

hi <3

I am so incredibly sorry about what happened. I feel like when shocking things like this happen it just completely tears your heart out in a way that you can never fully recover from. But what you said about having to be okay-- no you don't. You can share her memories and still mourn. You can be devastated and still support your family. You deserve to work through your grief just like everyone else.

Do you want to tell me more about her? If you want to talk, I'd love to hear.

I'm sending you a thousand hugs (if you want them)

___

exception anon

hi cas!

i'm really confused. basically, i am straight. i've been straight my whole life. never questioned it. never found girls attractive, only guys. i can't imagine thinking about a girl in a romantic way, whereas with guys i definitely can. i've had multiple boyfriends, who i genuinely liked, etc etc etc.

but it's just that i like my best friend. a lot. and she's a girl.

so obviously, i'm not straight, which is really interesting. but i just can't make sense of my feelings! like, when i first met her, if you'd have asked me "would you date her" i'd say no. no. duh. i don't like girls. but recently - i don't know. she's just so cool. she's funny, she's smart, but not a try-hard or a braggart, she's pretty and confident, but she doesn't flaunt it. she's nice, but she's not a pushover and she's not fake. and god sometimes i look at her and have to talk myself out of kissing her right then and there. what????

i'm just so confused because - and this isn't me being in denial! i was raised by accepting parents, my friends are all lgbtq+ or allys: i'd be totally fine with not being straight - i genuinely do not like girls like that. i don't. it's just how it is; i have never once looked at a girl in that way and even recently, i still don't. i still can't imagine myself with a girl - except for, well, her. and i still like guys, still find them attractive - so wtf is this????

is there a sexuality that's like, straight but an exception for only one person??????

sending love <3

Hi!

Okay first, just a reminder that everything will be okay <3

I think the thing is, in my opinion, the terms 'straight' and 'gay' are like....very clear-cut, when a lot of people are more fluid than that. There are a LOT of people like you, who might mostly be attracted to one gender, but have a SLIGHT attraction to another gender, or who have an exception or two. And I think whether or not that affects how you identify is entirely up to you! I think also what you decide to do with it is up to you!

I'm sure there's a label for this, though I don't know what it is, but just know that whatever label you use, if you use any, should be what's comfortable for you. Just know that you're definitely not alone, and whatever you decide to do about it is valid, as long as you're kind to yourself <3

#parallel line anon #bad memories anon #dan anon #support anon #exception anon #asks #ask cas #ask

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fanfiction-artist-prototype · 2 months ago

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I'm not even going to be planning another da:v fic till I've got at least a full outline of my current 2, however, am thinking of a timetravel au where Rook becomes convinced if they aren't involved Solas ritual won't go as tits up as it does (think the way some ppl in fandom truly do go if Rook didn't exist or wasn't there everything would have gone hunky dorey and it's not the fact that Solas was messing with magic he couldn't truly control at his current power scale, or that Varric probably would have still lunged for the dagger and disrupted the ritual himself, or that since the prison of regret was weakening anyway there was only a matter of time till everything went wrong and and if solas ritual had restored the fade and tore down the veil not only would so many people have died but the gods could have gotten out easier since there's less of a barrier between their prison and and rest of existence and overall Rook took the risks to do what they could with the orders and information they were given and how tf we're they supposed to know all all context players have and also having all to context solas still was doing something objectively bad by attempting to destroy the world that had far passed the one he remembered and was incapable of letting go of and was willing to tear everything down and force everyone to start again under his own blinded assumption that everyone would be better off with what he was familiar with because he was so blinded by guilt and regret that he couldn't see a path forward without massivr regression of thr world itself, damn all those who will die in the process and thr aftermath but anyway-) and so when they get told to leave their faction they go middle of nowhere rather than with varric- im thinking the island that Bull tells Inky he was stationed on before moving to Orlais and the chargers in Inquisition- but the catch is that all the other veilguard members (can't decide if Varric should have his memories but possibly he has an inkling this has happened before) have their memories as well and so the ritual is still disrupted but by varric Neve and Harding and all the others are coming together (Davrin moves the Griffons away from anywhere near where the Gloomhowler has been seen before arriving) and take a quick detour to save lucanis and Spite which is really just providing the boat to get back to land, bc fuck the world is ending but also where the hell is Rook? Like sure we can do this without them but also does solas have his memories? Surely he'd have said right? Also like... nobody has a blood magic connection with the guy right now so he's STUCK STUCK. That's like... really bad for when Elagarnan takes the dalish and we get stuck in the Fade. Like we can't deal without solas helping us there.

It's paramount that Rook is also having the worst time.

They're stressed, stuck between wanting to go and help and staying the fuck away and eventually end up going to Skyhold and telling the Inquisitor they know something bad is happening and want to help. And The Inquisitor is like sigh here we go again, off to save southern thedas with this weirdo who looks 2 seconds away from breaking down at any moment in time and also holy shit is this another solas situation bc they know a lot about the blight and the Fade and the elven gods etc etc (could work with a non elf Rook since the assumption would be they're an agent of fen'harel).

Also they still go by Rook bc it hurts to think about throwing one of the few things THEIR varric gave them away, so you then have varric sending inky letters like "yeah your inquisitorialness shit is fucked up here, I'm talking might as well have a corypheus sized rift in the sky kind of fuxjed. Anyway. I'm looking for this cheeky shit called Rook, looks (insert Rook description here), if you see them tell them I'm asking after them and also tell them I broke Bianca so I need their help playing wicked grace to play for repairs."

So then inky just takes a good long look st this depressed as fuck world weary knows too much perfect match physical description wise person called Rook who is currently very moodily (and to the agitation of Sera and Cullen who are losing horrifically) and half heartedly winning the fuck of of Wicked Grace and just assume that this is another Hawke situation.

Like yeah, OK, Varric just kind of knows world saving heroes, 3 for 3, whatever Rook did must have been horrible if Varric is trusting then to beat elven gods but nobody knows about it.

Relays the message, Rook smashes face first into the table, done with life, crying bc holy shit varric is alive varric remembers them (varric lived because they weren't there to fuck it up-) and are like... fuck I can't leave bc everything's going to go tits up down here but the team, but the entirety of southern thedas consumed by blight-

Which is when they tell them about the crossroads and the Eluvian and its like OH. Oh no actually that's good, so the inquisition and veilgusrd have joint custody of this feral cat that Rooks become.

I'll add more thoughts later.

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kai-rio · 5 months ago

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ggy song analysis III - the liar by the arcadian wild

im so normal about this song, the first time i heard it i immediately knew it was super uber ggy coded

(this is a long one so ill put my analysis under the cut)

by the way, i use greg and gregory as terms for different people - gregory for the character in sb, and greg for the persona we see in ggy

i sense theres trouble ahead, clear by the signs and warnings i think gregory would know that somethings up because i mean its probably pretty obvious if you have lots of gaps in your memory, or if he only gets control back for a little while after a long period of greg taking control, then he’d know thats weird too

that should tell where all blame is due, so why are they pointing at my head? this could be read as gregory not knowing the things greg’s done and being confused, if he notices vengeful tony & ellis then he wouldnt know why theyre vengeful

all have been led astray, we’ve all fallen short in some way literally a line in the game omg. but yeah i imagine during the short moments of control, gregory seeks comfort in vanessa and/or the other followers like finbarr or tape girl because he’d know theyre going through the same thing

please understand im ashamed he would feel guilty for greg’s actions once he actually remembers them or is told them by someone else

and i beg of you, please find your grace i think this reads as gregory trying to warn greg’s victims, like tony and ellis, but he’s unable to actually do anything

cause i'm not in a right state of mind, i just wish i had strength to admit it i doubt gregory would accept the idea of being one of the followers immediately and he might have fallen into a state of denial in a way

my stubborness will put up a fight, but i dont deserve to win it however, when he does accept it, he’d feel immense guilt, so much that he thinks he doesnt deserve to be forgiven despite how badly he wants it

we’re left in the dark, pondering our mistakes this could be gregory trying to piece together what happened during his amnesia gaps

in the light i swear i will deny it all i personally think that if gregory was to find out while he was still being controlled periodically, malhare might just try gaslight him into thinking otherwise to make him more compliant

cause i am the lying man, and i have made you my next victim ‘i am the lying man’ sounds like a title, maybe like greg confessing he’s ggy before he eliminates tony. the next victim obviously because the victims before were the therapists and i guess you could even count vanessa since he manipulates her - tony wouldnt be the last victim either, it probably continues on to ellis, crystal and maybe even cassie if gregory never escaped the control fully

oh i need you to see through my act, to tell me im wrong, to take off the mask again, this is about gregory trying to warn tony and ellis about his murderous counterpart, and it could be interpreted that taking off the dr. rabbit mask is a metaphor for freeing gregory, similar to how in the princess quest ending, our first sign that vanessa is free is that her mask has been abandoned

or else ill be left in the lie obviously this about still being trapped under the influence, but i also have another interpretation of this - i think that during the influence, gregory dissociated to an imaginary world where all the bad things didnt happen to cope with what he could remember, omori style

and ill decieve my way straight to demise i know everyone celebrates gregory for being like the first alive fnaf kid in the games but i honestly dont think thatll stay that way for long with how fnaf has a history of dead kids lol

i am the host of this hostility if the ‘wizards favourite apprentice’ line is true and not just greg pretending, then it would make sense for everything to revolve around him - he’s trusted enough to manipulate another follower and carry out a lot of murders so i would think its true. this probably means that gregory is under more surveillance than any of the other followers which would make it more difficult for him to escape

another interpretation of this is a ‘host’ that a parasite uses - this could imply that each of the reluctant followers personas’ arent specific to their body and could just inhabit a new one - this could be disproved by saying that each follower we’ve seen (vanny and greg) have made their names centered around their body’s original inhabitant, but then again that could just be them rubbing it in vanessa and gregory’s faces about their lack of control, or perhaps it was commanded by the mimic1 virus

im the master magician that makes you believe speaking of the mimic, if i remember correctly, there was a room in sb with a bunch of staff bots representing the afton family, and william was framed as a magician if sorts - the mimuc is supposedly mimicing afton, so it would make sense if it called itself a magician

im real, im not fake, but in reality im a lying man honestly i just think greg would be a fan of paradoxes and stuff like that, seeing how he led a trail of breadcrumbs for tony to follow

my lifes become this grand game of deception in gregs eyes, tony could be treating the whole ggy mystery like a game to be finished, a grand game because theres a high possibility of there being way more followers than we realise, already with 4 confirmed ones (vanny, greg, finbarr & tapegirl as far as i know)

my minds ignored all my hearts good intentions his mind because its mind control… yeah - this could also represent gregorys learnt behaviour of closing himself off from others to avoid them becoming another face on the missing posters despite only having goid intentions

we all feel this tension, we all have our own illusions the followers again, i imagine they all have their own ways of coping, perhaps by simply blocking everything out or pretending/dissasociating

#im normal i swear.#ok no im actually insane can you tell /silly #i love this song so much its just so ggy coded it brings me so much joy #if anyone has any other interpretations id love to hear them!!!#song analysis #fnaf ggy #ggy #fnaf tony #tony becker

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