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#am I remembering things wrong about this??? im doing all of this off of memory so I could be completely wrong about this
yearnerspermit · 3 months
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I’ve seen people bring up the fact that at the end of 2x04 Louis and Armand are fighting and then boom, start of 2x05 they’re the most sickly sweet in love we’ve seen them yet
I could be misremembering things. But uh. We haven’t heard anything about the removed diary pages since Louis asked to see them at the end of 2x01 and Armand agreed to gather them for him, have we?
Louis definitely hasn’t been given them because we know what’s in those pages, and we know it’s something Armand is trying to protect Louis from. But Louis was pretty insistent about it. And he hasn’t followed up on that at all since.
I’ve seen the interpretation that the beginning of 2x05 lovesick storytelling is just Louis and Armand putting up a united front to make up for fighting in front of Daniel before that. But the diary page discussion doesn’t happen in front of him. They have no reason to pretend in front of him for that particular thing.
Louis asked for the diary pages, Armand agreed. Louis was never given them. And we haven’t heard anything about it since.
I could see the performative unity interpretation of the 2x05 scene if it were in isolation. But both of these happen as they’re getting ready to sleep — getting ready to rest — and then the story abruptly forgets they ever happened. They parallel each other too closely for me to think the writers don’t want us to connect those
Armand, for as loving and protective as I know he’s trying to be, as well intentioned as I know he thinks he is, has rewritten the memory and mind and intentions and feelings of the love of his life multiple times in a matter of days
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quarks-pussy · 11 months
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So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.
Julian Bashir.
From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.
This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."
This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.
Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.
Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.
#i've called julian jules before simply as a normal nickname but i don't think i ever will again. not after this#and knowing that if it had been possible i would have probably gone the way jules did. knowing that at his age i would have gone willingly.#fuck dude i am literally actually crying literal tears irl right now this is not a joke#fuck!!!!!#julian bashir#jules bashir#doctor bashir i presume#came back wrong#star trek deep space nine#HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD!! HE WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND THEY KILLED HIM!!!!#i cannot stop crying i am literally crying and like not even just a little#i cannot... poor julian how the FUCK do you ever come to terms with something like that#and like... julian remembers. he has most if not all of jules' memories and also knows he was murdered simply for not being julian#like how did he cope#(im about to go off on a tangent that will contain censored names for the sake of not clogging those tags if you dont know who i mean hmu)#like this is literally the thing that fucked up j*ran so bad he went on a murder spree isn't it#he remembers the one who came before who was killed. very different circumstances of course esp since tr*ll are expected to replace one ano#another but he remembers this person he remembers BEING this person who was young and simply enjoying life and who died a sudden death and#he remembers the experience of that death as well and how it lead to his own creation. it's not remotely similar ofc but considering that#the only time we see t*rias in alpha canon is in julian's body... i need to lie down for a moment.#and jor*n couldn't cope! he couldn't! it was far too much and the weird thing is right now in this moment i GET it y'know?? like that's#so horrific. and i haven't watched any jo*an episode besides facets yet but do you think. do you think j*dzia told julian about all this an#he nodded along and kept composure and then when he was alone he broke down crying? like julian you're doing SO well ily you're coping and#you shouldn't have to obviously but you do nonetheless!! do you think julian still has something from jules? like i've heard there's a tedd#but i mean jules prolly didn't keep a diary he was a six year old with an intellectual disability it's pretty unlikely he could write but#does julian have drawings made by jules? i'd like to think so but honestly his parents probably threw them out. like they also moved so#sorry i'm just. many thoughts head full. ive stopped crying now but who knows for how long. also i'll have to tag this with my original tag#maybe i should've picked something less silly for when i make serious posts but like what am i gonna change my url as well? don't think so#original posts fresh from quark's pussy#and thats the tag limit folks it's been fun. i had to delete two other tags but my god. anyway. thinking about jules bashir forever & cryin
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months
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For the Danyal Al Ghul AU: How would Danyal react to other canon events like when Sam wishes she never met Danny, Tucker wishes for powers, the christmas episode, or other DP canon events?
(Also, I assume Danyal's cover is blown by the reality Gaunlet event.)
Ohooho I love this question. So im only gonna respond to the episodes you mentioned, since it's been a while since i actually watched the show and I don't remember all the episodes. And also since I don't remember them fully, I'm gonna get details wrong. I am fine with that, it still gets the gist down lol. I've got the tvtropes recap page pulled up, so i'll be using that to try and hit the major points it mentions.
So, Memory Blank! Man I've thought about that one, and its the one I'm frankly most excited to answer because it gets to show just how much of a positive impact being friends with Sam and Tucker had on Danyal. So where to start? Their fight goes differently than in canon, but I'm going to start from after Sam makes her wish.
Firstly; she and Tucker are friends, but the two of them are not friends with Danny. He's on his own. In this au, the three of them became friends when they were 11 and Danny's been in Amity Park for about a year.
They met in the beginning with Sam trying to befriend him at first because she realized that they shared similar ideals on environmentalism, but he rebuffed her pretty harshly due to a combination of grief over leaving his home, trying to process the fact that he can never return and will never see his brother again or meet his father, and just plain League arrogance lmao. He really hated being in Amity Park just in general because it wasn't his home and it was the city too.
So he was really rather unapproachable in the beginning. People kept a pretty wide berth of him due to Fenton association and his own vibes.
But Danny's still a kid, and they want socialization with their peers. At 11 he didn't have any friends, and was frankly quite lonely. He decided to approach Sam and Tucker after deeming them "acceptable allies", although Sam wasn't really interested at first up until he did the equivalent of apologizing. Tucker warmed up first afterwards, but Sam really wasn't too far behind.
So thats how they became friends, post-wish though? Lets say that Sam didn't accept the apology and rebuffed Danny, and kinda intimidated Tucker into doing the thing. Danyal closed down, backed off, and then never approached them again because he decided right then and there he wasn't going to chase it. Wasn't worth his effort or time.
Then he just. never approached another person after that because he didn't want to get rebuffed again (he wouldn't admit that it hurt a bit), and he could already tell his efforts wouldn't work. He turned his attention to other stuff. In this timeline it wasn't too difficult to find him at events dedicated to combatting climate change, deforestation, light pollution, animal cruelty, etc. the LOA is an environmentalist group, after all. They just also happen to be eco-fascist assassins-for-hire.
In summary, Sam and Tucker helped Danyal realize the flaws in some of the League's beliefs (the fascism) to the point where he could deconstruct it on his own. Being friends with them made him realize that, frankly, genocide was not the answer to environmental equilibrium, and that the people outside of the League had lives worth living. They also helped quell his arrogance, and just in general influenced him to become kinder even if it doesn't look like that all the time to other people. Sam and Tucker make him laugh, and smile, and just happy.
OG Danyal: wears pretty casual teen clothes. More punky-aesthetic. Has multiple ear piercings. These were self-done. Will have a lip piercing by the time he reunites with Damian, mark my words. Can and will wear muscle tees. Makes puns, jokes, is generally sassy with his friends. Can, will, and has climbed shit he shouldn't be because he enjoys the challenge of scaling a building. It's also very funny seeing Tucker and Sam reenact the "Gregory! HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE?!" meme. Still has a questionable moral compass, but like, he's not an eco-fascist.
This Timeline Danyal: dresses much more sophisticated; dark academia vibe. Closed off, cold. Is 2x more likely to kill someone than OG Danyal, who was frankly, pr kosher with murder already but only if he deemed it extremely necessary. Still an eco-fascist.
Danyal without Sam and Tucker? Still believes in the teachings of the League because he has not been really challenged on them. In fact, he has doubled down on it, actually. Living in the city, growing up estranged and ostracized by his peers, has only strengthened his resolve that all of humanity minus the league (and the Fentons) deserves to be wiped out. He is disgusted by the people around him and desperately wants to go home, even more than the last timeline. The only reason he hasn't is for Damian's sake, but he's been checking in with mother whenever she visits and asking to find a way to come home. She's been steadily wearing down on it; her child is miserable here.
This version of Danyal should not have powers, and is, essentially on the fast track of rejoining the league -- doubly so when he hears Damian is living with father. Clearly it's safe enough for him to be with father, if mother allowed it, and father has become safe enough for Damian to live there. Good. With the threat of two heirs being in the League gone, Danny can return with Mother's permission. And. he probably takes Jazz (and the Fenton parents) with him. Forcibly if he has to.
So Sam has her work cut out for her here, a lot more than in canon, because even when she does tell him that they used to be friends in another timeline, and he believes it, he is not going to give a shit. Clearly they were not as good of friends as she thought they were, if she had wished they never met in the first place. Good riddance, then. This Danny is cold, incredibly hurt, and very closed off.
He is a cave wall in comparison to the Danny Sam knew, and talking to him feels like walking into one. Because he is looking at her with just utter disgust and disdain, keeping a distance like he is revolted by her presence and allergic to her and everyone else's touch.
Which really, really fucking hurts when she knows that in their last timeline, he would actively seek out her and Tucker's company and affection. Sam could read her best friend like an open book, and now its like she's trying to read one in another language she barely speaks. This boy used to smile at her, he used to laugh at Tucker's jokes, and he was so passionate about the things he enjoyed. Now he looks at her like he wants nothing more than for her to drop dead on the spot.
It hurts even more knowing that her last words to her Danny were the words, 'some days i wish we never met'; the way he looked at her afterwards haunts her. For a split second, he looked completely crushed and heartbroken, before his entire body language and expression shut off and he totally closed down on her.
Because by this point in his friendship with her and Tucker, he's told them, he has told them, in a very intimate moment of vulnerability, that they are one of the best things that's happened in his life -- right there alongside the day he first met his baby brother. They are very important to him, and he has finally felt comfortable enough with telling them. There's not a day that goes by that he isn't grateful for their friendship.
So to hear Sam say that some days she wishes they never met? well. That breaks his heart. Just- just a little bit. Sam regrets it the moment it leaves her mouth, and she immediately tries to apologize, but Danny immediately spits back; "Well. I hope you get your wish." and then stalks off.
I'm warring with myself here trying to decide whether or not this new timeline Danyal is at a "point of no return", where nothing Sam says is going to make him attempt to reignite that friendship. Clearly that will end badly anyways, if this is the result of that friendship. He's cut all ties from these people; he feels no prerogative to fix things she broke.
Like, the version of Danyal I'm thinking of here has no close bonds with anyone in the city sans Jazz -- and she? has her own life outside of Danny. She is not his keeper, not his caretaker, and certainly not his therapist. (which i have beef about too, considering how she gets boiled down to 'therapist with no life of her own' but im not going into that.) She has some influence on him, but frankly not enough to really make him challenge his beliefs. Danny cares about her that, if he returns to the league, she is coming with him. Or at the very least, will be spared from the League's goals.
Mmmm. I can't make it a total point of no return though. Sam's very stubborn, and she knows Danny. And while this Danny is still very different, he is still Danny. She'll try and befriend him insistently in a way that might annoy him, but at least not push him away further.
(Tucker, meanwhile, is just soo confused about Sam's very random, very abrupt switch up. Cuz girl he thought you hated this guy? Why are you suddenly trying to get all buddy-buddy with the terrifying Fenton kid. Have you been possessed? Is this some kind of crisis?)
(Sam drags Tucker into befriending Danny because he is the only person she knows that can get him to belly laugh. Tucker is mildly terrified but going along with it.)
Anyways this does end with Sam befriending Danny, or at least getting him to like her long enough that he'll pick up a ghost weapon and face off against Desiree. There's no way in hell he's walking into that portal, that last timeline might have been a 1/billionth chance of it happening and he's not dying for the chance to get powers. And frankly with his training -- which he's probably kept up with even more than the old timeline because he had no one to spend his time with -- he doesn't really need them to be good at fighting them. Just show him how to ghost proof a weapon and he'll handle the rest from there.
But Sam does end up undoing the wish and getting back to her own original timeline in the end. It's the morning after her fight, and the literal first thing she does that morning is get her shoes on and fucking sprriiint to the fenton house. Bursts into tears when she sees Danny and apologizes over and over again. She swears she didn't mean any of it, and to please believe her, and Desiree's still loose and they need to stop her, and she's had the worst time.
She does tell him about the other timeline she just went through, and she hopes that, if it still exists, that that Danyal manages to find friends in the Sam and Tucker there after this. And if not them, then anyone.
Danny's still pretty hurt by what she said, it cut really deep, but he forgives her.
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Tucker getting his powers! Frankly things gooo... relatively the same as canon, I think? Actually, no. Danny probably figures out the whole Genie "i wish you would go back into your lamp" thing faster than canon danny since he's not a C student lmao. TV.Tropes doesn't give me too much specifics for a recap on the plot, so we're gonna wing it. For the plot I'm going to say that Tucker gets his powers before Danny figures out the "i wish" thing, which happens relatively quickly.
Danny tries to be... rather supportive of his friend getting powers? Especially since, in comparison to Danny, it was rather painless. However, he's also very suspicious. He doesn't trust the source of Tucker's powers, and warns him to be careful and to let Danny know if he feels off in anyway.
Tucker does end up helping Danny a few times, but the quick progression of his powers and Tucker's willingness to use them more often than not worries him. He reminds him a handful of times that Tucker shouldn't rely on his powers to help -- not even Danny does that. He prefers to use his weapons and martial arts to fight instead. Tucker doesn't listen.
And they end up fighting anyways. Things get resolved, everything turns out okay!
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Christmas episode straight up just. doesn't happen. Danyal doesn't care enough about the Fenton arguing or about Christmas to be upset about said arguing. He thinks its really childish, but he's not a grinch about all of it.
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Okay it wasn't explicitly mentioned but i have thought about TUE. And I'm trying to think how that would go because it's the result of Danny getting his hands on the math answers and cheating. Which Danyal would not do.
And someone mentioned in the comments on my ao3 under the oneshots there that TUE might just straight up not happen. Which makes sense, Danyal is so different from canon that things don't have to always happen like it did in canon. So that's something I need to chew about, cuz if it does happen, then I'm going to figure out a different way for it to.
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lucystark12 · 20 days
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how to convince the ga that byler isn't rushed (kind of just a rant about lettergate)
they need to and i mean NEED to vecna mike because the only way the ga will understand that byler has been built up since the beginning is if we’re given scenes in context. we as bylers obviously get it but byler is at risk of being labeled “too rushed” if they don’t put effort into referencing the important parts of mike’s feelings developing.
the audience doesn't really have a problem with believing that will is gay and in love with mike because there are things in his arc that are just obvious and clearly point to that.
but mike on the other hand is in the middle of a love triangle. unlike most of the other main characters, mike isn't open about his feelings. we don't get his internal monologue. he doesn't tell others how he's feeling. thats why its so easy for bylers and milevens alike to interpret his every move in either direction. it's purely because we don't know. so, in season five, there are things they have to address and give concrete meaning to so that people understand how byler actually does make sense.
the most important scene that i’ve already kinda talked about to do this is...
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this one, obviously, the most important little part of all of byler's season three. i want vecna talking about this. i want mike thinking about this. it’s crucial. it’s essential. his behavior here is weird as hell! it even reads weirdly in a script that was released and then edited quickly after. it's important and it needs to be addressed and treated as such. in the script (forgive me if i'm off, i don't have a copy of it so this is from memory) it reads as "what's wrong with me?" that obviously points our way, but since we don't get his internal monologue there's no way to be sure. it needs to be addressed.
this is also kinda lettergate proof because i think the unsent letters and the fact that mike did try to call will also be essential to proving what was going on with him during the gap between season three and four. if i were in charge of the show, i would do a whole flashback sequence to these six months. i want to know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, what he's thinking, how the people around him are reacting to his behavior. we need a shot of the love, mike. it's SO IMPORTANT.
literally i could scream about how important (and likely) lettergate is.
one thing that REALLY scares me about lettergate is the possibility of them reddieying us. yes that is now a verb. for any of you who never had an it 2017 phase, reddieying is where richie and eddie, two characters, had feelings for each other but never admitted it. at the end of the movie after eddie dies, we get this scene:
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this is what i like to call reddieying. and yes that is also finn wolfhard. this is why we are scared.
the letters could be used in a VERY similar way if either mike or will dies to express the love that they both once had for each other. closure of sorts. i think that would be VERY poor writing (we've all heard my theory about how mike's love for will is literally essential to the ending of the show) but i think it's highly possible especially given the overlap between it and stranger thing's fandoms. the letters could be read at the end in a similar way to the way hopper's was, sad heroes and all. this draws another parallel.
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yes i am bringing newtmas into this. fuck you.
above is a letter written by newt from the maze runner to thomas. newt is confirmed gay by the author of the book, and this letter is written to thomas but never read by him until newt dies. letterboxd reviews of this movie read:
"that letter at the end was the gayest thing I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve seen call me by your name."
"homophobia is thomas reading newt’s declaration of love and the shot cutting to thomas scratching his ex’s name into the rock ABOVE newt’s"
"newt, to thomas: "and i remember you. [...] i knew i would follow you anywhere. and i have." me: *im ready to be queerbaited again meme*"
and i didn't even have to search for these. these were like the top couple reviews of the movie. they were all on the first page of reviews.
all i'm saying is, by having the letter be an idea in our minds, they've set up a way to kill off one of the characters and still have a slightly resolved, weirdly up to interpretation ending. i do still think it's poor writing. i could kind of go into that too if anybody is interested.
i think that if lettergate is used as a device during mike's flashbacks to show how long he's felt this way that they will be using this thing they've set up for good, however, if they newtmas us and reddie us i might die. just letting you know.
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petrifiedperi-au · 28 days
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Holy ok ok ok so I just read your dev having trouble with being around Cosmo and Wanda but I bring you a different approach. What if he is mad at them! Trying to shift some of this huge amount of guilt because at least he went to Peri! His own parents left him alone to die. (I can’t remember if you said if they actually knew where he was or not)
Oh lordy oh ok gewze imagine Dev having this moment of realising he has something in common with Peri because he sees his parents as neglecting him. How sad would that make Dev? To realise how much guff he gave Peri cause he thought Peri couldnt relate at all. So he pushed him away but then thinking how wrong he was and how Peri did understand. (Even though we know cosmo and wanda are nothing like Dale and really did love Peri just saw a different priority) but the potent agnst of Dev having a miss understanding of it. Everytime Peri tries to deny it Dev relates. Everytime Cosmo and Wanda gush over Peri makes Dev fume because he sees it as all a show. He thinks he knows how it is behind closed doors. Even if hes actually wrong. It could really help them bond. Until Dev finally sees hes wrong and it’s gonna make a huge rift between them as he blames Peri for pretending to have a bad relationship with his parents. Probably saying it was to “mock” Dev or something.
On another note. Do you think Peri would actually be upset that his parents decided to save fairyworld instead? Maybe rationally he tells himself it was the better choice. That it was what ended up bringing him back. It was what saved all the other fairies who take priority. Hes just one guy. But thats still gonna hurt. Knowing your own parents can and have picked the masses over you. Knowing you arent worth the world to them. Of course he wouldnt actually expect them to choose him but maybe deep down he wanted them to? Idk im loosing it cause I just got off ruff 12hr shift at work lol.
Hope this isnt too off the money for your au I just really enjoy angst
~hollys fairy hell
[AU info here!]
OOOOHHH... THIS IS INTERESTING. WHILE C&W DIDN'T KNOW THAT PERI DIED, DEV BEING ANGRY BECAUSE OF THAT IS... OUGH. I think it DOES check out, actually. Feeling angry that they didn't even KNOW their son died, the blame being shifted to help ease the guilt... IT MAKES SENSE, AND IT'S IN CHARACTER.
He's seen their relationship before, and he knows that they're all such a genuinely happy family, and that makes him feel not ONLY GUILTIER, but MORE FRUSTRATED, MORE ANGRY. Their own son DIED, in front of HIM, and they DON'T EVEN KNOW.
HEAR ME OUT... DEV NOT KNOWING THAT C&W DON'T KNOW UNTIL PERI MENTIONS IT. Him assuming that they ALREADY told their parents, and that's why he was absent for a few days. THE GUILT SHIFTING INTO A MISDIRECTED ANGER ONCE PERI MENTIONS THAT THEY DON'T KNOW AND THAT THEY WANT TO KEEP IT FROM THEM... of COURSE, the guilt is still there, but it blends in with the other feelings and it's a Very Complicated Feeling Soup.
THE MISUNDERSTANDING IDEA IS NEAT... AND IN-CHARACTER. I don't know for SURE how I'd implement it [because my brain is very picky about the things I add, and I am too...], make it go, and ALL those good, delicious, juicy things, BUT BUT it will go on the backburner of thoughts. Specifics would probably just come to me randomly at 2 am like they have been lately gHDLSHSLHD 😭
WITH THE LAST PART... PERI DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED SPECIFICALLY. He was DEAD, after all, and SURE, he'd probably find out via things being talked about, BUT, GENERALLY, I DON'T THINK THEY ADDRESS OR THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.
Hazel's Wish fixed EVERYTHING that happened in the episode, and I talk about how the whole Millio Wishes Thing worked here, actually! I have a vague idea of how things go with Peri after they come back, but I don't have any set in stone ideas yet/there's no established timeline. I think... THEY don't even know at first, they're just confused at the fuzzy gaps in their memory and then, once they get a closer look at themself and the GHOST thing happens [when they're alone] and all that... THEN they put details together and realize they They Fucking Died.
WHICH... PERI DOESN'T UNPACK THAT. NOT MUCH, ANYWAY. The finale ends as usual, with the motorcycles and all that— that's BEFORE he realizes there might be something off. DO YOU GET ME... LIKE...
THE ENDING ESTABLISHES THAT THINGS ARE OK AND NORMAL BUT THEN AFTER THE EPISODE, THEY GO BACK TO THEIR HOUSE/ROOM/C&W'S HOUSE [ALONE] AND THEN THAT IS WHEN HE KIND OF REALIZES HE FEELS OFF AND WEIRD. AND... OUGH. YEAH.
SORRY I'M... GETTING OFF TRACK. I don't think he'd be upset, not in that way, at least, given the circumstances. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE OR IF IT'S JUST WORD SOUP I'M SO SORRY I JUST WOKE UP LIKE AN HOUR AGO. I am throwing words at the wall and hoping they make sense HDJDDGKDDUI 😭
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gamblersdoll · 10 months
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ITS THE MATTER OF IT … chapter 4
tw: mentions of busts, nasty things.
for a better reading experience, please listen to the following songs “i will possess your heart” by chained to the bottom of the ocean and “kaizoku” by ibaraki on spotify, apple music, or youtube. enjoy!
your heart was racing, but not out of fear.
not by anxiety, but by defense.
“its been a while, y/n.” sukuna said, how could he say that when you havent even met him before? “its been a while since ive seen that face.”
so this is what he kind of looked like. tattoos on his face made yuuji look rugged. but if you had to ruin it, then oh well be it. you should arm yourself, you had thought to yourself. it seemed like sukuna already understood it.
“theres no need to defend yourself, i already said you wouldnt be harmed unless you provoke me.” he chuckled, getting closer and examining you. his eyes felt like he would’ve devoured you, like a damn maniac. he more than likely would have if it was his thing or not.
“the only thing thats changed is your tits.” he said amused. he eyed them, licking his teeth as if wanted to bite them. you wouldve felt your face get hot from the king of curses talking about it….
but you didnt.
“what is it.” you meant to sound like a question was being asked, but because of your tone and demeanor it sounded like you were talking at sukuna, not to. luckily for you, he didnt catch onto that, instead he looked happy that you were at least speaking.
“you know what,” sukuna paused, lowering his gaze. “you surely dont think that i was just making an appearance to say hi, do you? or do you not believe you are the reinca-“
“–i am not some reincarnation!” you growled out, cutting him off. that shouldve been a mistake on your end, but for some reason he didnt care. “im just … me.” you trailed off.
“you look the same way you did a thousand years ago, little one.” he chuckled, practically in your face. you bet he only smelled decent since yuuji was decent with hygiene. “whether you like it or not, you are. eventually, youll grow happy that you are— or maybe just comfortable with the fact that you and i…” he took his finger and pointed back and forth between himself and you.
“we have history. whether the memories or knowledge comes to you, we do. and there isnt anything you can do.” he laughed, his pearly whites on display and he put his hands on your shoulders. “now that you are here though…”
“why didnt you say anything back then.” he asked, when the fuck did he have you cornered? this was bad, real bad.
“yes, because i completely remember what exactly happened during a thousand years ago.” you sarcastically said, rolling your eyes. “remind me of what happened with–“ you made air quotation marks with your fingers, “me and you?”
“we were close, you had feelings i guess yaddy yadda yadda.. you developed hanahaki disease, you died.” sukuna recalled, growing sarcastic as well. “why didnt you say anything to me?” he asked, growing serious again.
“realistically speaking, if i were to admit my feelings to you, you either wouldnt care, youd laugh in my face while laying down with another woman, or would just kill me and move on with your life.” you said in a matter of factly tone, he was a cursed spirit after all.
could he even experience love like emotions at all?
“you could be wrong, considering how strong you were before.” he said, which made your ears ring.
did this motherfucker call you weak?
“are you saying im weak?” you asked, planning to make a move, which could result in sudden death or a missing limb if he felt forgiving.
“not exactly, but since you are reincarnated, we never know if youre rusty or your strength depleted.” he said, taking several steps back. “if you land a blow on me, ill take back what i said, and ill settle with any conditions you may have for me.”
“and if not, then you have to accept that you are what people say you are, and youll have to work under me.” he said—
a challenge.
and a challenge that granted you authority in some areas.
…..
……
a challenge that seemed unrealistic!
you had been working your ass off to land a blow, not even bothering to use your domain. you were simply out of breath, your hair a mess from the constant movement.
“this isnt the beginning of you, y/n.” sukuna had said with his hands in his pockets. he was certainly worried you had lost your abilities over a thousand years, but he also thought you were always a teasing woman.
come on, y/n, think.
think, goddamnit, think!
would it.. work on him?
you ran towards him knowing he would throw his hit first—
until black particles floated in the air, forming in the shape of the human skeleton. sukuna’s eyes widen, focusing on the black matter in-front of him, bringing its fist back to throw a punch—
until he realized that you were also landing a blow into his abdomen, now having to deal with a blow in the face but also in his beloved stomach.
a reversed curse technique, is what made you, you. you could separate your soul from your body into black matter, allowing the soul to fight with you, along side of your original body. making you somewhat immortal, only in certain circumstances would it kill you.
only one knew of this technique… only one had done it successfully a thousand years ago, against sukuna, and won.
sukuna had looked away and spat, laughing at nothing. you had landed a blow– two matter of fact. he then looked at you, and smiled.
“what do you feel?” he asked, he knew you had to have felt it, too.
deja vu.
“ive… been here before.” you admitted, watching him smile the wicked grin he carried.
———
“so… what did you tell him?”yuuji asked, eating his burger on your bed that you specifically told him not to do. he had laid down plastic wrap around him though to not ruin your satin silk bedding, which you’d appreciated.
“he doesn’t cause mass destruction, him not killing anyone unless necessary, and how hed teach me some things since i had won.” you said, eating a chicken philly. yuuji had since learned you loved them, occasionally eating steak philly but preferring chicken. so, the boy had brought you one. what a sweetie.
“oh! well.. thats good— hey i think we should sleep, since nobara had planned for us to hang out tomorrow all day.” he reminded, getting up and leaning down to hug you.
when did you both decide to start hugs, was beyond you.
“goodnight!” yuuji said, waving at you and you only replying with a “night.” made him smile. only when he reached his bed was when it went down hill for him…
or uphill?
“can you please stop talking about it?” yuuji asked sukuna, sukuna had decided to breakdown what had happened with you and him. but sukuna was infact a perv— of course he was, hes a curse!
“you dont look at y/n and think about how deep you could go in that–“ yuuji had cut sukuna off,
“stop it!” yuuji had growled out at him, only causing sukuna to laugh uncontrollably at his little outburst. “shes more than that!”
“well of course she is, but you gunna sit here and tell me you wouldnt tap that?” sukuna had asked, growing curious. yuuji had stayed quiet, ignoring the question until he thought about you.
the way you said his name, the way you walk, how you didnt take anything, the way you eat…
the way your shirt would tighten around certain areas of your body, the length of your legs. he had let out a frustrated sigh. he would feel bad if he did anything like that to the thought of you, like he was the biggest perv in the world…
but did you think like that about him, too?
honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld all reposts and shares are appreciated to see more of my work!
…..
(chapter 2 of “THE WARM THE COLD THE SIX coming soon!)
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spooksforsammy · 7 months
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Despite my age I still need help with many tasks that my four year old niece can independently do.
I have low-medium support needs closer to the medium side, which is why just say medium support needs. I need help with some Badls and just about all Iadls
Here’s an idea on what it means for me to be medium support needs. This is a extremely simplified version of explanations
Badls:
Basic activities of daily life are
Eating (moving food to and from mouth) dressing, personal hygiene(washing, doing hair, shaving ect) , toilet, and transferring(moving from one place to another)
I need help with personal hygiene, toilet and occasional dressing
Personal hygiene: I need intensive prompting to shower, change clothes and need help with shaving. When it comes to showering, have be told multiple times, over and over and over and some days that’s not even enough. Something have to have someone turn on shower and get towel and clothes and tell me to get in.
During the school week I brush my teeth on a schedule, so come weekend and breaks have to reminded often do so. Middle school had be reminded brush teeth no matter day or week so is improvement and hopefully one day can remember do no matter schedule or day.
Washing hair is problem not only because hate water in hair and face but because how many steps are. I’m still deeply afraid to wash hair for multiple reasons and often convince sister do for me. Even times where managed do self, did wrong to point where Sister still have go in and rewash. Have thick hair so have scrub correctly and in the shower freeze up. Hard even open eyes.
Tolieting: when say need help don’t really mean emptying but getting there so can empty. Can’t tell when need use bathroom until really bad so every few hours am told go try. If not told use bathroom will hold until no option but use, so do pee self at times.
Dressing: this isn’t a huge problem of mines, but if not told change clothes will keep wearing same ones. This also because memory problems, so don’t remember if already worn or not. The only thing really allowed rewear is jackets because safe jackets always wear when out.
IADLS:
Instrumental Activities of Daily Living are
using the telephone, shopping, preparing meals, housekeeping, using transportation, taking medication(s), and managing finances. I need help with all these.
Using the telephone:I don’t need help using the telephone in sense of getting on and off phone or tablet, but when come to phone calls or staying safe (not giving out too much information that personal). My boyfriend has access to all my accounts and monitors them to make sure no one does anything weird or that can ruin my safety. My boyfriend and sister makes my phone calls, helps with emails (saying what type, what not do ect) and not able schedule things by self.
Shopping: im not allowed to leave the house by myself unless it’s to go to my boyfriend’s house or to the bus stop (both times it’s a route where either can be watched or someone family know and trust can keep eye on me. So even if along am being monitored). Im not allowed in stores alone as they are huge and i wonder. I also have low awareness and am not aware when danger is around or happening. Am allowed go shopping with others but that’s just walking around.
Transportation: this is also appart of low awareness. Can’t ride bus alone, can’t drive. Can’t even ride bike. Not fully aware world around so wouldn’t know where go. Also get overwhelmed on buses around many people and shutdown; shutdown ruin sense of awareness more.
Medication: is memory problem and can’t tell when need take. For example pain killers, can’t tell when bad enough to take or when in pain and need take. Haven’t been on prescription in years but was on, nana had bring pill to me take otherwise wouldn’t remember.
Finances: don’t know how manage money. Don’t know how much money apps work and can’t count. Couldn’t understand how much need spend how much have. When come cash, lose often because forget where place. Also struggle with saving up, so when someone in charge, can’t spend just because have. Sister and boyfriend in charge of managing for me but try help.
Meal prepping: I don’t fully understand how to meal prep and am not fully trusted around the stove, oven and knives. When using them, have to have supervision otherwise will cut or burn or otherwise hurt self. Don’t understand shouldn’t do certain things (example: made caramel, boyfriend was in kitchen watching make and was stirring wrong but didn’t know was doing wrong and burned hand and thigh). And certain things shouldn’t go certain places. Also can’t stay focused long enough do and stims and sensory issues get in way.
Housekeeping: can clean up space but once again have be told. And even if clean, one boyfriend help withe everything clean up and someone else (sister or oldest brother) have go back in and actually clean up. Am working on it but is sense of don’t understand what need be clean what okay and remembering where everything go so put in spot think belong. Prompting isn’t enough to clean up room though, to many steps involved and remember what belongs where is something struggle with deeply. Also includes sensory like having touch multiple things, sounds and smells. Stims also get in way to point where not able do.
And something didn’t include in alot of these (even if should have) is fact that sort of ‘freeze up’ when having do them. Like with bathing, get stuck like unable move when need shower. Even if want move can’t, and in some of these times can’t even move mouth or get brain think. Just stand there.
Taking baths would help but feel held down when taking them. When sit in water unable move, feel like sinking and being held down at same time. Start chocking and gasping for air like breathing not possible.
In other cases, body and mind feels like just… broke and not able do anything anymore. Will sit there unresponsive until body ready continue on with task or thought of task disappeared.
For alot of Iadls not able actually do self so someone else doing or going in and redoing for me. I’m working on some ( shopping, telephone) but even if able get down, someone else will always need be around help.
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hazshit-hotel-hater · 6 months
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*jingles keys infront of your face*
Hi guys
Having a strange night again but I suddenly remembered Frank Sinatra exists and my brain went nuts for a second and I remembered one very specific song that reminds me of Angel Dust and also this brings me to my topic of how to write what Episode 4 was trying to do without being shit.
Song for your listening pleasure~
youtube
Alright *cracks knuckles* let me tell you how my brain is working.
Poison is meant to sound like a generic romance pop song about a bad relationship on the surface but the audience is supposed to know it’s about something much worse. Now lets flip that around real quick.
“My Way Of Life” is a romance song.
At least I think it is? I’m under the aromantic umbrella and I don’t pick up on this stuff good.
BUT try listening to the song while imagining the wording to be more hostile and literal.
A few standout ones are these in my opinion
—————
Gotta have you near all the time, with your dreams wrapped up in mine.
Gotta be a part of your soul and your heart all the time.
You are my way of life.
The only way I know.
I’ll never let you go.
Because “I love you so.”
You are my way of life.
The only way I know.
Make me your way of life.
Don’t ever go.
Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you.
Im just half alive, in my struggle to survive without you.
Never let you out of my sight.
Be it day.
Be it night.
You belong to me.
That’s the way it has to be; wrong or right.
—————
Colour coding this by which characters I feel represents these best by the way. Angel-ish ones are pink and Valentino ones are red.
When you look at them in a tone like that with certain lines being possessive, and fake (ie. “I love you so”) and the others being despairing, self-loathing, you can hopefully see how I mistook this for a much more unhappy song when I first heard it.
If you look at a song like this thats so dramatic and intense and full of emotion, it’s going to be better than some generic pop song like 99% of the time. The music also make sense for the time period Angel died since Sinatra was popular in the 1940-1950’s which I personally think adds more.
How I imagine some kind of music video for this would play out, I’ll probably end up storyboarding it sometime, but bear with me till I do. would be a lot of Angel doing day to day things and tapping more into what ADDICT did with flashbacks and hallucinations and so on without shoving rape in our faces. I touched on this in my original Episode 4 rant so I’m going to vaguely recap on that. There are times where very simple things can trigger unpleasant memories, I think everyone knows that. But for some reason, Vivzie seems to think the only way to show SA actually happened is to deliberately show us since every other character thats been sexually assaulted or sexually abused has it played off as a joke. Yes I am fucking talking about Sir Pentious.
Angel having a flashback or hallucination doesn’t have to be of it happening. It can be something as simple as sitting next to Valentino. Someone pronouncing something the same way Valentino would. A specific piece of trash on the floor like a cup showing up somewhere else. Reminders can be tiny have a massive impact. Sometimes reminders for shit I’ve experienced is something as small as a hat, water, or a nickname. Even a day of the month can be nerve wracking.
Im about to start listing a bunch of ideas and stuff so this may end up being the entire song, brace yourself for reading all this.
0:00-0:32
I feel like this would start with Angel in his room staring at a wall, probably drinking after work.
“Gotta have you near all the time with your dreams wrapped in mine.”
Is less of a willing “gotta” and more of a “I can’t do anything else.” with the talk of dreams alluding more to the fact that Angel’s original wants from the contract are long gone and noting that Valentino is controlling his career, future, needs, wants, “privileges”.
“Gotta be a part of your soul and of your heart all the time.”
Is once again about the contract of Angel’s soul.
0:33-0:51
“Nothing in the world that I do means a thing without you.”
In the original song I assume this is meant to be like “Life is so dull without you” but for the way I hear this song, it sounds a lot more like “Nothing that I do holds any meaning without your name attached to it.” in a kind of corporate way. I imagine this part with Angel walking down the street and seeing posters of himself but all of them have credits to Valentino somewhere on them. Angel likes his job but obviously the job that he previously enjoyed has turned into a dangerous and traumatic one. Posters like this can both be seen as a reminder that Angel is no longer in control of his own life and as some kind of intrusive thought like “I’m only famous because of you. I gave up everything for this.” AKA Valentino manipulating his way of thinking about his situation.
“I’m just half alive in my struggle to survive without you.”
Once again calling back to Angel’s contract. This part to me is more of what I stated in another rant I did a while ago. Honestly if I ever did this it’d likely take place after or during season 2 under the assumption Valentino dies. This is more of what I said in the linked post, but it’s a lot of Angel processing everything that’s happened to him. Everything suddenly hitting him all at once. “Struggle to survive without you” doesn’t mean that Angel is struggling because Valentino is gone, health struggling because he was there in the first place. Angel is dealing with and processing severe trauma and judging by ADDICT, dealing with vivid flashbacks and hallucinations as well.
0:52-1:15
A lot of this section reminds me of how I processed my emotions when I first realised that I had control over my own life again and I feel like Angel would feel very similarly to how I did.
“You are my way of life. The only way I know.”
After so many years of sticking to this strict regime, enduring so much pain and stress, it’s so hard to just suddenly snap out of it. That was your reality for years and it’s over, but everything that happened is still clinging to you so harshly it feels like its still happening, but when you prepare for a previous habit you picked up from that time and it doesn’t happen it can be so jarring it’s terrifying that you’re still so used to it. My best example in this setting is going to hang up a call and saying “Hey I have to go do something” and you expect to have to lie about why you’re leaving or prepare for the other person to get mad and then they just. Don’t. And you can hang up normally. I know some people wont get this but that kinda stuff is such a specific feeling of realisation.
“You are my way of life. I’ll never let you go.”
Can be taken as either Angel talking to himself; saying he’ll never let the memories and trauma from Valentino go because it’s so engrained into his mind, or, as Angel remembering Valentino explicitly stating he will never let him go. Even if Valentino is dead by this time, it could still be done with a flashback or auditory hallucination like Angel had in Episode 2.
I don’t think I’ll be diving into this entire song, but it really hit something in my brain. I had to quickly sketch a possible frame for a video if I did ever make one:
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It’s a bit basic, but hopefully you see what I’m going for. This was for the 0:52-1:15 section mostly, but I can see it being used in various other places.
I hope this was at least a little bit interesting for you all and if not at least maybe I could introduce you to a really good Frank Sinatra song! Usually my really long posts like this don’t get much traction, but I hope this one at least sees a glimpse of daylight because it really is an interesting idea to me. If you have any thoughts, questions, or ideas for this please tell me I love when you guys ask me stuff. I am hopefully going to knock out now because it’s 2:44 AM at the time of writing this, so whenever I post this, please enjoy.
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clockworkcheetah · 9 days
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*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more
hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh
ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic
first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls
another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy
(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)
also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it
also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)
i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again
with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone
ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.
im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone
but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man
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marumarielle · 9 months
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hi !! i was reading through ur shifting info and i realised we have similar methods! pls feel free to correct if im wrong, i’m not sure what a memory skim is exactly, but from what it sounds like, you briefly go through the memories of your DR ? if that’s the case, thats more or less what i do before going through my senses.
i’ve brought that up because despite my consistency with my method and falling asleep in the state of wish fulfilled, i still haven’t shifted and keep waking up in my bedroom. granted i’ve only been doing this method for a week-ish so it’s not as long as other shifters, but its kinda getting tiring to keep waking up in my CR despite feeling otherwise. i feel as though i’m doing everything right, and i’m following with what resonates with me, but somehow i still haven’t shifted :(
would you have any advice for me?? thanks for taking the time to read this :DD btw sorry if its incoherent i wrote this at 2am 😭
Hi love! My answer is quite long so I'm sorry if it's a lot to process all at once but if you have any more clarifications, don't hesitate to ask me!💖
First and foremost, yes, you are right about the memory skim part. I usually just go through memories that are important to me or just make me feel like I already am in my DR which helps with taking my mind off my CR. Now, the shifting part. It is important for you to know that I've also been through the same thing so you're not alone in this, anon.
My advice? Only be concerned with your inner world. imagination.
Since the 4D is what the 3D follows, why are you concerned with "waking up here" in your CR? Imagination is the only reality. The goal isn't for you to see your wish physically but rather to feel fulfilled within. Because the point of loassumption is to fulfill yourself (which is what I think a lot of people miss). The 3D "materialising" is just a bonus.
"Going back and forth to fulfillment and desire is to wander aimlessly." —Edward Art. I've fallen asleep in the wish fulfilled state and woke up having "not shifted" did I care? No! Because I fulfilled myself within. If I truly understood law of assumption I wouldn't be concerned with the 3D since it is just a mere consequence. If I knew that in my imagination I've been in my DR, I am there because imagination is the only reality that I should concern myself with. It doesn't matter if I did the steps right, or meditated for 5 minutes, if I don't have faith that I have indeed shifted despite what my senses tell me, I'll go back to living in desire.
★ You need to stay faithful to your new assumption despite what your senses are telling you. Abandon your old assumption, that "I haven't shifted", because you're not going anywhere. If you keep going back to persisting in the assumption or belief that you haven't shifted yet, you won't shift. Change the way your inner world works. Shift your attention to what you want and not what you don't want. And in no time shifting will feel natural to you.
That's all anon! I hope l answered your question. Remember that you are all that you need, happy shifting!
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lyss-butterscotch · 10 months
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I had this mild realization about the Hunter campaign
NSH probably doesn't know if his plan to revive moon worked
See from Pebbles's dialogue during the Gourmand campaign. Five Pebbles mentions that he had locks put in place to keep creatures like gourmand out and unlocks the gate to outer expanse when he realizes his plan clearly did not work.
Although it wasn't specified when Pebbles put the locks in (not to my bad memory) I'd wager that it happened after Spearmaster.
Overseers of different colors can only spawn in outer expanse (except for Sun's red overseer and Nsh’s green one which can rarely spawn in subterranean)
At the end of rivulet's campaign, once Moon regain access says that she didn't know that it was NSH who sent hunter to revived her
Going with the theory that Hunter's rot happened because Nsh rushed making Hunter
So. Nsh doesn't know if his plan worked. He sent Hunter off with the slag keys, pearl, and the case of the rot (wheter knowingly or not) on a mission to revive Moon. He can’t watch over Hunter like how Suns did with spearmaster because Pebbles locked the region somehow.
Hunter's campaign happens, Moon is revived yippee!!! Except that she doesn't have the ability to communicate her revival to the local group nor can she do anything with her superstructure to indicate activity (since like half of it is sunken into shoreline) and Hunter will never go home. Either dying from the rot or ascending.
To Nsh, his plan probably didn't work. Sure, maybe he saw hunter going to subterranean without the slag key which could indicate that Moon is alive again but it could mean the keys failed.
I imagine this was the reason why NSH simply didn’t send another slugcat to assist moon, because he doesn't know if his plan worked and assumed moon is still dead
So yeah
I have another thought on the tragedy of the cycles but this ask is getting a bit too long
First of all jfc thats the saddest thing ive read today (have not read much of anything today)
Apologies if i get anything wrong here i am nit the best at remembering lore
But i remember that Suns mentioned once that Pebbles locked down his entire complex and that i assume happened after that fated 2nd spearmaster campaign which he did kill off Suns' overseer.
Im rather curious though if 'locking his entire structure' included the Outer Expanse gate, and slugcats can STILL slip in, why cant overseers follow them, theyre like smaller and more versatile than slugcats. Unless Pebbles can like mind explode overseers from the gate???
Still it is a sad thought that Sig really had no idea that his plan worked or not because his overseer is blocked and the messager is gonna die (this also he did not know so dude probably didnt know if Hunter even did reach Moon or not). Also does Moon really not know Sig was the one who woke her up? It was in Hunters stomach pearl. Unless hunter does canonically ditched the pearl like how i see people start hunters run.
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rust-is-a-car-disease · 11 months
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Vtk hc(s) ✨
Cassian and water things to do with how he died (water, awareness, miscellaneous, falling)
All of this is from memory so im not sure if its accurate. Either way its fun to think about! If i remember correctly he fell/got thrown off (idr remember) a cliff into the ocean.
*water may also refer to relevent liquids in general
Cassian is afraid of being submerged in water. He may be uncomfortable depending on the amount of water hes in and how deep it is and stuff like that but being fully submerged is immediate panic. On bad days he tries to avoid water all together. (This becomes a problem to stay hydrated) A lot of the times, not being able to easily touch the bottom with his head still sticking out also causes panic. The exception is very good days and even then he struggles a lot. Baths are a no. He spends minimal time if hes in a place that could hold water, depending on how much it could hold and his mood. Ex. If hes having a shower on a bad day in a bathtub like in a hotel or smtg, he wouldnt spend a lot of time other then absolute nessecary to make sure hes clean. (This might just be me projecting how easy it is for me to overthink things.) If hes say, in a place that could flood like a flood prone basement and its raining, he would get the heck out immediately if theres nothing urgent to do there.
Oh! And other aspects other than just bodies of water. He wont drink salty drinks. The ocean and wave sounds make him antsy. He hates the smell and taste of super salty stuff, esp ones that remind him of the ocean. He stays away from edges near water. He gets extra cautious near cliffs. He tends to keep an eye out for possible vantage points for snipers. Hes overall more paranoid and vigilant.
Another thing is falling. Its an iffy thing where sometimes it doesnt affect him, sometimes he can barely stand losing his balance. Its quite random but for the most part hes fine. Like he could fall down the stairs and feel mentally completely fine but sometimes he'd stumble a bit and feel out of breath from a moment of panic/expecting something to go wrong. The first time it happened he just stood there shocked for a bit.
Alternatively: he would subconsciously pick and choose certain things he'd still do above, but he would unknowingly for a while ignore the rest even if he feels like he should do it. Ex. He might still feel breathless from tripping or avoid salty drinks, one bc its unnavoidable and another bc its a more obvious point of memory (subconscious things are also unavoidable mostly), but ignore any discomfort from edges and stuff and so not being as careful as he would if he acknowledged the discomfort. He doesnt even realise he does it at all for a while, it just sorta happens. (I am probably projecting here)
Ehm before i forget, suffocation is kinda similar to drowning right? (Not really but i think it works) so he positions himself in a way where nothing would be covering his breathing on bad days. (This is more like a 'dont forget this!!!' For me... i think itll be interesting to think about how certain habits and actions would change after and comparing suffocation to drowning, overall i think it might not have as big an impact as other lasting effects)
I want to talk about how like the attacks and seeing jeff die and other stuff may affect him but i havent even fully formed those thoughts yet.
Ugh i also want to talk about temperature and other stuff but i am tired now. So this is more like a to think about list!
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itsclydebitches · 1 year
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I just need to know if Im the only one who felt weird abt that Isaac scene. The one where he takes Colin's phone. It just felt ooc for Isaac to follow colin and yell at him to delete the pics like a mom nagging. I never got the impression that Colin was thought to not follow his captain word by anyone in the show. I get that Isaac needed to find out (tho id prefer if colin did it on his own terms) but I still want to know what you think
Personally, I'm sold on Isaac's actions largely because of Colin's in that scene. Meaning, he's the most vocal in his disagreement about deleting private photos post-breakup. I'm afraid I can't bring up the episode atm so I don't have exact quotes, but Sam and Jamie are in full support - lecturing to the group at various points, like Isaac - with the other members being sorta on the fence, but then eventually persuaded. It's Colin who keeps pushing back against the idea, citing (if I remember correctly) things like personal property and memories. That strong stance is important because it sets him up as being the one member out of the group who might feasibly ignore Isaac's order.
Another thing that's important is how open the group is about their relationships (and the ways in which Colin has been barred from that due to his sexuality is a whole other post). From the group hanging on Sam's every text back when he was messaging Rebecca, all the way to now where Jamie is making a (hilariously) impressed face at whatever Will is deleting, there's really no secrets among the team. Or rather, heteronormativity has made it so that most of them assume there are no secrets. They delete those photos in full view of one another... which in some way kinda defeats the purpose of keeping them private, at least on a small scale, but really it's about the good intentions here. They trust each other to do the right thing, but they don't trust outsiders, so they delete the photos so they can never fall into the wrong hands.
Now, toss these two things together. Looking at that combination from Isaac's perspective, I think it's less nagging than it is an understandable (if not excusable) response to his assumptions. Colin has been the most vocal about this being a stupid idea, so when he leaves the assumption is not "Colin wants privacy" it's "Colin is trying to get out of this." Now with Point #2: why would Isaac assume it's privacy in the first place? No one else is bothering to find a quiet corner because, again, no one else has anything to hide. It's also important that Colin doesn't explain this to Issac. To be 100% clear I am NOT blaming Colin for his defensive reaction, only pointing out that, again, from Isaac's perspective this seems even more damning. When Colin says "Fuck off" rather than something like "I am deleting everything, I'd just prefer to do it without you lot looking over my shoulder," Isaac's assumptions appear confirmed. So he snatches the phone. Is that an appropriate reaction? No. Is it an extreme one? Arguably. But Isaac feels very strongly about this issue, even more-so once he realizes that Keeley was a victim, so his belief that Colin is blowing this off makes him angry enough to force the issue. If you won't delete those photos, I will.
Then, of course, he sees what those photos are.
Honestly, I hope this moment of miscommunication and, frankly, privacy invasion is addressed in their (inevitable) confrontation because while Isaac is by no means a bad person for this mistake and while it's understandable how this mistake came about... that's still a huge breach of Colin's privacy, especially given his specific circumstances. Plus, as we see via the acting, it rightly terrifies him. Already we've seen that although Isaac isn't comfortable with this revelation, he's not outing Colin to the group either, so this is perhaps the "best" outcome of such a mistake, bar Isaac immediately reassuring and apologizing to Colin, which we obviously didn't get. But just because he hasn't gone on a full blown homophobia rant doesn't mean Isaac doesn't have shit to apologize for (both now and from the past), so I hope the writing addresses how they both got to this moment, not simply the internalized homophobia that Isaac needs to grapple with.
And yeah, I agree that generally speaking I prefer for queer characters to come out on their own terms... though in Ted Lasso's case I feel like that would have been a waste in some respects? Meaning, this whole arc is not just about Colin, but the community which he's a part of - football - and the horrific homophobia that pro-athletes face. We've just been reminded that there are NO out footballers in the pro league. We've also learned that Colin has no desire to be the poster-boy for gay footballers. So in the last couple episodes to have him suddenly come out on his own would a) undermine the extreme consequences of that and b) undermine Colin's personal wants and needs. I get that Ted Lasso as a whole is about the optimistic vibe and undoubtedly the show has demonstrated, in this season in particular, how far people can come when given support... but I still think it would have been pretty out of left field for Colin to suddenly go, "You know what? I will come out! I will shoulder the terror of potentially loosing these friendships, and the media frenzy, and being forever the first out gay man in pro-football, potentially putting my very safety at risk because the Lasso Way taught me to love myself!" That's a little too optimistically saccharin, even for this show. Personally, I prefer this version where the outing occurred due to good intentions - Issac trying to protect people from what Keeley is going through - while still allowing the space to unpack WHY Colin was scared to come out in the first place.
Basically, I expected Colin to be outed somehow because I've always figured that would be (and I do kinda hate using this word) the most realistic outcome for his scenario. In real life someone should NEVER go through this, but in a story sometimes a character needs that push, so that we can resolve the conflict by season's end. Given my other meta-writing obsession, I keep comparing this scenario to Volume 9 of RWBY. It rankled that RWBY had a magical universe force Blake and Yang to confess because they live in a homophobia-free world have nothing, absolutely NOTHING, personally holding them back. So why make a joyous moment so uncomfortable by taking away their consent? In contrast, Ted Lasso is all about that homophobia and Colin has a boatload of personal reasons not to come out, even though he may want to in a perfect world. In this case, the story "has" to force his hand somehow. Either that, or we'd need more time for Colin and the world he lives in to develop - time that Ted Lasso simply doesn't have.
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unhingedkinfessions · 6 months
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so like not really a kinfession but kinda wanna know if how im feeling abt this is valid (no pressure to respond if u guys dont want to btw!)
so my bf and i are planning on making a comic based around our "sonas" (idk what else to call them), but how these came to be was us literally drawing ourselves how we see ourselves essentially. like for me, im demonkin, so i just drew how i remember myself and then projected all my memories to this "character" and i think my bf did something really similar to that when making his, so basically we are these characters and they are us
after a while we added aspects to them that dont reflect memories (such as the two of them dating) but more so reflect us CURRENTLY, as well as some random things that just make sense and these "sonas" became very important to us and huge parts of ourselves (naturally, since we are them)
now wed love to do this and possibly post the series on tumblr and/or another site as a nice project between the two of us but thats when my bf realized: what if people kin them? and it kinda made us uncomfortable thinking about it since its based off our own otherkin experiences and that theyre literally us
so basically what id like to know is if itd be wrong to ask people to not make fan works (if it gets popular) and tag them as kin and stuff? weve seen people mark stuff with that and so thats why i planned on doing that, but do u think people would understand our discomfort? ik people cant help kins, but id feel a lot more comfortable if people didnt make it comfortable they're whole public identity based around one of us or used our work as face claims and stuff. am i being irrational or is this understandable?? (sorry if any of this sounds repetitive im kinda nervous lol)
the thing is, if this does get popular (and thats a big if- i dont mean that as an insult you truly cannot predict these things) yes there will be issues. youre not being Irrational, and i understand where ur coming from but im *in* the same community as you & kin also. if this gets popular, there are inevitably going to be people who dont understand and ignore that boundary, because you cant exactly stop people from doing that once smth gets big. theres a difference between like, asking someone to not kin tag an art post vs not kin from a Popular Piece Of Media, yk? it wouldnt be a wrong thing to ask for no. but if youre ok w the possibility that this could blow up ur gonna have to realize that you cant control an entire fanbase that closely and what ur afraid of is likely to happen. tldr i think this is understandable but im not just the average consumer that doesnt have the full story
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ilaosi · 5 months
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weird question, but since ur a zombie I need some help!
okay, so I'm writing about zombies and such and the actual physical symptoms of zombism are like vague. super vague.
I was wondering what your experience was?
idk wikipedia and all them are uselessssss, and I thought asking a zombie would just be easier than going and looking for 16th century whatevers.
so, if you don't mind what was it like? what sorts of symptoms did you have?
anyway thank you for reading your awesome!!!
omg hi im a bit late but this ask makes me so happy i love talking abt this stuff !!! :D i'd like to preface by saying i experience my kintypes in a way that sounds a lot like a past life but i don't consider that to be the case, i believe my memories are from some version of me in other universes/realities.
soo my response might not be the most helpful because i don't think i experience zombism in the way most ppl think of it? i wasn't infected or anything, i died a (somewhat) natural death & the next thing i knew i was kind of unknowingly digging myself out of my grave. i don't know how or why i was resurrected, if someone else did it, if i did it myself, if it was some kind of divine intervention, no clue. in the world i remember, zombies were a known phenomenon that hadn't yet been explained by science.
living people reacted to us in a lot of different ways, some kind of worshiped us and treated us like we were chosen by the gods or otherwise special, but most just thought it was weird/gross and tried to avoid us. a few ppl wanted to get rid of us because it was "unnatural and contagious" (it couldn't actually be transmitted like a disease, in my world at least), there was even a group of ppl who denied our existence entirely. it was also pretty common for medical students to (consensually, most of the time) practice their skills on zombies, kind of like they do in this world with corpses, but we were more convenient because it was really hard to kill us and we didn't really experience much pain, plus we could heal (to an extent), and we were pretty much immune to infection & other complications/side effects. i think it was also a way of gathering information for research since there wasn't much known about us or how/why we existed.
as for the symptoms & what it felt like - i remember when i first crawled out of the dirt the main thing i noticed was that my body was completely still. my heart didn't beat, the blood didn't flow in my veins, i didn't particularly feel the need to breathe or blink. i was just as disabled in that world as i am in this one, but after i died some of my disabilities didn't really affect me anymore. i wasn't in horrible pain in the way i usually am, i just felt like all of my skin was slightly bruised and there was a dull ache all over my body but it was easy to ignore, and my bones felt,, empty? my brainfog/dissociation got a lot worse though. all of my senses felt much more dull but i definitely still had them. it took more pressure for me to feel things touching my skin, my vision was cloudy and less colorful, i couldn't really smell or taste most things other than meat, blood, decay, dirt, mildew, etc. other smells/tastes would have to be really strong/intense for me to pick up on it at all. i was dead for about 3? days before i emerged, and i was buried in winter, so decomposition hadn't totally taken over yet. i did continue to decompose after that, but eventually i figured out that keeping myself fed (primarily with non-human brain matter & insects) would stop that process and sometimes even reverse the effects of it to an extent. if i went too long without feeding or if i fed on the wrong things too often i would feel really sick and my skin would get even more flaky. sometimes huge chunks of skin or even small body parts would fall off, but they could be successfully reattached by any doctor who was willing to work with zombies.
visually/appearance wise - i was more pale and my skin had a kind of light-grey-green-ish tint to it. the parts of me that fell off and had to be reattached ended up looking more purple-pink-ish for a while, but usually they'd go back to the grey-green color eventually. the whites of my eyes were more blue & my irises were dark grey. my veins were more visible through my skin and they were a lot darker, almost black. my natural hair color is brown and before i died i had my hair dyed black, afterwards the color just never faded and my hair didn't grow anymore so it didn't change much, but the areas where my roots were showing turned grey.
i can't rly think of any other specific things to talk about but if u have more questions or if u want more clarification on something i said here feel free to send another ask!!!
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gaysullengirl · 5 months
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𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐚𝐫
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❝  i don't wanna fuck with your head, it’s
breaking my heart to keep breaking yours again.” -
don’t wanna break up again, ariana grande
    Isabelle clutched her purse as she walked onto the jet, it was three AM, the team has just caught the unsub- Robert Parker, everyone was exhausted to say the least.
She noticed how Spencer glanced at her before attempting to discreetly look away, Isabelle sat down in the seat farthest away from everyone.
Luckily the plane ride wasn't far, when everyone returned to the office Hotch spoke, " Reid, Cruz, can I see you in my office?"
Isabelle walked up the stairs with Spencer following behind her, "Sit." Hotch told the pair.
"Both of your behavior on this case was highly inappropriate." Isa narrowed her eyes and suppressed the urge to scoff.
Yes she had initiated the argument with Spencer, but Isabelle hated admitting her weaknesses or mistakes- so she pretended she wasn't in the wrong.
"Sir, I'm sorry, I know it was and it won't happen again." Spencer apologized.
Hotch narrowed his eyes toward Isabelle, she sighed, "I apologize, it won't happen again." she grabbed her things and walked to the elevator, just before the doors shut Spencer ran in.
"Look, I'm sorry and I think we should talk, how about we go to my apartment." He offered, Spencer wasn't sure if he despised Isabelle or adored her, but he knew he hates arguing with her.
"Fine" Isabelle clenched her jaw.
When they walked into Spencer's apartment a wave of sadness washed over Isabelle, she noticed objects that used to be in their shared apartment.
Spencer set his bags down and walked to the kitchen, "Do you want a cup of coffee?" "Do you have alcohol?"
Spencer grabbed his only bottle of alcohol- Vodka, it was a birthday gift from Rossi that he never opened, he brushed the light layer of dust off of it and poured it into a glass.
"Sorry, I don't have shot glasses." He admitted handing the drink to Isabelle, "It's fine."
"You have a lot of books." She observed out loud, she read every spine until one caught her attention, 'The Bell Jar' she grabbed it, "You still have it." Isabelle held back a smile, "Yeah of course" he replied. 
"I remember staying up all night and annotating it for you." She smiled at the memory, "Yeah that was a really sweet gift" Spencer smiled.
Isabelle joined him on the couch and poured another shot for herself before drinking it.
They both sat in awkward silence waiting for the other to speak first.
Isabelle ran her finger around the rim of her glass, "I'm sorry for leaving you."
"It's okay." Spencer replied flatly while staring down at his fingers.
"Stop it, stop being so nice to me, please." she pleaded with tears slowly falling from her eyes, "Just be mad at me, call me a bitch, scream at me!"  Her voice cracked.
Spencer didn't respond, "I was such a bad person- I think I still am, you should hate me, I don't know why you're treating me so well- I was such a shitty girlfriend- and person." She said empathetically.
Spencer was frozen, he didn't realize how bad Isabelle felt, even after four years.
Spencer reached over to her hand that rested on the couch, he rubbed small circles with his thumb, tears threatening to spill from his eyes any second.
"I wish you would just hate me."
"I want to hate you, but I can't, maybe four years ago I would yell at you but seeing how bad you feel- I can't, I always thought you were living somewhere with a better guy, laughing about me." He admitted
Spencer looked up at her, "You're the only person I've ever felt completely comfortable with, was there something wrong with me?"
Isabelle swallowed, "No! I just couldn't handle it, being in a relationship, I was such a bitch and you were- you are... everything i've ever wanted."
The pair sat in awkward silence, "Im gonna go home." Isabelle grabbed her bag, "Wait you had two shots, how about I drive you?"
"No it's okay, I can walk." She said.
"Isa, it's five am, I'm not letting you walk home alone." "I have a gun." She argued.
"Just let me drive you, please." He asked, Isabelle nodded silently.
author's note!
i know i said i wouldn't be able to post this chapter until the weekend but i decided to shorten it so sorry this one is so short i pinky promise the next chap will be longer
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