#always giving him something he loves for a cake

[le-monchou]

the sweetest spicy noodles || cater diamond

cater doesn't want sweets on his birthday. if he's forced to have something sweet there, you're gonna make the spiciest noodles you can. || cater birthday fic for my moots @reirei404 @artistnettles @quillaffinity @fungifanart || 352 words

cater diamond, resident magicam lover, and heartslabyul third year, was used to people making assumptions about him. they thought he loved surprises, adored being the center of attention, and of course, since he was from heartslabyul, dorm of sweets and tea, had a major sweet tooth. but on his birthday? the one thing he really didn’t want was sweets.

“c’mon, [name], you wouldn’t do that to me, right?” cater pouted dramatically, leaning against the counter with his hand on his forehead as you stirred the pot in front of you, rolling your eyes fondly. “my one wish is a sweet-free birthday. you wouldn’t betray me like that, would you?”

you smirked, giving him a teasing look. “i wouldn’t dream of it. but if they insist on shoving cake in your face, i’m making sure you’ve got something to wash it down with.”

cater peeked into the pot, eyes widening as the spicy aroma hit him. “wait. what did you-? oh my seven, babe, are those chili flakes? and are those ghost peppers? are you trying to kill me?”

you grinned, flicking his forehead lightly. “you said no sweets. i’m balancing it out.”

a laugh bubbled out of him, the tension in his shoulders easing as he watched you work. everyone always expected a picture-perfect, camera-ready version of him. but you? you saw him beyond the filters, beyond the persona. you made him things not because they looked good on magicam, but because you knew what he really liked.

soon enough, you set a steaming bowl of devilishly red noodles in front of him, a proud glint in your eyes. cater sat down, rubbing his hands together. “alright, let’s see if i survive this.”

his first bite hit instantly. with fire, heat, and pure spice, his eyes watered, but the sheer satisfaction on his face was unmistakable. “babe. this is… this is pure pain. i love it.”

you beamed, handing him a glass of milk with a wink. “i figured you’d say that.”

and as he grinned at you between mouthfuls of lava disguised as food, he knew.

this was the best birthday he’d ever had.

hi hello i hope you liked this. idk but somehow this feels very not like mine but it's also my work so- idk maybe i'll rewrite this later on. but rn im happy with it. happy bday cater :)

[cheshireliam]

"Growing Feelings Poured Into Chocolate" Collection Event

Liam Evans

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

Kate: Nn… haah… Liam…?

The moment I let Liam in when he visited my room, he started kissing me without warning.

Liam: — Be quiet. 

He pinned both of my hands above my head, holding them tightly in place so I couldn’t move, and continued his attack on my lips.

(What’s gotten into him…?)

I was struggling to breathe, and yet I couldn't stop him.

Liam looked like he was in more pain than I was, so I accepted his kisses without resistance.

And that went on for who knew how long.

After kissing me for so long that I thought my lips might’ve been swollen, Liam finally released my hands and pulled away. 

Kate: Liam… did something happen? 

Liam: …

Liam: Kate… do you like pain? 

Kate: Huh…? 

Liam: If you like pain, I can give you as much pain as you want.

Liam: If you like being bitten, I’ll bite you however much you want… we can even do more dangerous things together.

Liam: … I'll act as kind of man you want me to be, Kate. So please— 

Liam: Please… don’t abandon me… 

This time, Liam started crying into my chest. 

Kate: … Liam. I don’t like pain. 

Liam: Really…?

Kate: Yes. Because the person I love doesn’t want to hurt me… I always want to take good care of my body and make sure I don't get hurt.

Kate: Also, you don’t need to act. I love you just the way you are, Liam. 

Even though I had told him that countless times before, I firmly reassured him once more. 

Liam: Is that really how you feel…? I thought… 

Liam: … I- I’m sorry, Kate. Thanks for telling me you love me.

Liam: I love you too. So… let me love you as you are too from now on.

Liam: … Sorry for being violent with my kisses. 

Liam gave me a gentle kiss, and the two of us tumbled into bed together. 

…

Kate: … Ah!! I almost forgot all about it!! 

After a moment of Liam and I affirming our love for each other, something came to my mind and I immediately bolted up while still in his arms.

Liam: Is something the matter?

Kate: Yes. I’ll be right back, Liam. 

I got up and brought something from the kitchen back to my room. 

Kate: Happy Valentine’s Day, Liam! 

Liam: Is this… for me?

I presented Liam with a moderately sweet chocolate cake.

Kate: Yup. I wanted to make something you’d enjoy eating… so I used a special chocolate that’s especially aromatic. 

Liam: It really does smell good… 

Kate: Fufu. It was hard to obtain, but worth the effort to beg Jude for help. 

Liam: Jude? By any chance… did you pick up the chocolates this morning? 

Kate: Yes, that’s right… did you happen to see me? 

Kate: I tried to make it a surprise by receiving it in secret…

Liam: What… so that’s what it was…

Liam: I saw you smiling so happy when receiving some package from Jude.

Liam: Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I assumed you and Jude might have feelings for each other…

Kate: Eeh!? That’s impossible. I’m fully devoted to you, Liam!

Kate: So that’s why you asked if I liked pain…

Liam: Yeah… I’m sorry for doubting you. 

Liam: … It made me insecure knowing you’re such a wonderful person that anyone would admire. 

Kate: Then please always voice out whenever you feel that way, I can clear those feelings for you. 

Kate: Because my love for you will absolutely never fade. 

Liam: Thanks, Kate. 

Although it was late at night, the two of us shared the chocolate cake. 

Even if our love melts and loses its shape in the heat caused by jealousy, like chocolate, we can always reshape it beautifully.

Because I want to be together with Liam until the end of time.

[thetravelingtyper]

On the same page...Pt 14 (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Author! Reader Bookshop Au!)

At the sea, you both find a new sense of peace

WC: 2.4k

Part 13, Part 15, Masterlist

Welcome back :D

As you drift away you feel Simon tighten his hold on you. He feels you nodding off in his warmth and he curls around you, arms coming around your middle You wake a little with a hum and Simon shushes you.

“Easy love.” 

He tucks his forehead next to yours, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as his composure resettles. Something locked away in his chest dissipates and a fierce care flow pulses through him. You were now, cradled against this chest like a spark of light in the night. Some small part of him mourns now, allowing himself to feel this is a shimmer of freedom. He too had run, drowning himself in work and missions to cover the loss, the heartbreak. It was Price who finally had sat him down and smacked some sense into the man.

But, finding you? You had rounded his heart up from its wander. To protect himself perhaps, but be it fate or curiosity here he was. You moving in his arms sobers him up, and a silent resolution settles in him then, here he would remain.

You stretch then, a soft sound escaping your throat as your knees pop in the chill. You go to move but Simon is steel, and you call his name as he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. 

“Si-”

His hum reverberates through you like a force of nature. The rumble of oak or thunder.

“I’m starting to get hungry.” 

He chuckles then, loosening his arms before pulling away from you to stand. He reaches down to collect his boots with socks tucked into them. You follow his movement, collecting yours before an arm collects your backpack, shouldering it before winding around your middle. 

“Let’s go see what is in town.” 

You nod before allowing him to lead you towards the car. You pause a moment, turning back to the wild sea. The ocean, you realize then, would always remain, a collection of stories and the falling of stars, and as you turn away you see the fox kit following after you.

-

The small cafe you find is quaint in the sea side town. Bay windows sit open, letting in the rising sun and the rustling of long sea grasses sound out in the breeze. You kick the sand off your shoes at the step up for the porch and Simon opens the door to let you in.  You step through the doorway to be met with the smell of pastries and fresh fruit. Straight ahead behind the counter an older woman works decorating a cake at a table. She looks up through her glasses as the door shuts quietly and smiles. 

“Take a seat anywhere loves, I'll be with you in a moment.”      

You nod and pull Simon to a booth overlooking the ocean. He slides in across from you, setting your bag aside. You sit down as well, and in a few minutes the same lady comes over to take your orders. When your food is delivered you begin to slowly eat in quiet, taking in the atmosphere around you. The sound of the waves gives good company to your racing thoughts. 

Simon’s confession seemed to be a weight off of his shoulders, he even eats the meal in front of him with energy. You watch his form then and his eyes look into yours with a light of interest. You pause eating, and he mirrors the action,

“Problem dove?”

His voice is like polished sea glass, renewed by the waves. 

You sigh, ideas pulling at your fingertips but they are unfocused now, the rush of elation of the ocean simmering low now into passion again. You played around with your thoughts.

“It’s just…” the thought is drawn out, “it’s been so much.”

Simon sets his fork down, focusing on you and you find his attention reassuring. He doesn’t reply with words, only humming lowly, allowing you a moment to continue if you’d like, something you are grateful for as you find yourself reminiscing.

“Simon I loved him, I trusted him. Just,” Your put your head in your hands, 

“Did I do-”

“Absolutely not.”

Simon cuts you off firmly, and you look to find him sitting up and leaning forward, a sense of duty in his face. 

“He made the decision to do what he did. While he was coerced into action he still chose not to fight it Dove.”

“I still love him in some ways, Simon.” 

It comes out in an ashamed whisper, head turning down.

Simon calls your name then, and you just stare down at your plate, some mixed feelings of shame and hurt stirring in your chest. James had done everything to protect you, or attempt to which is not lost on you. But he had broken your heart in the process.

He calls your name tenderly this time and you finally look up so see Simon look at you, his eyebrows drawn in concern.

“You cannot blame yourself, love. Not after he lied and how he acted towards the end of your relationship. He was possessive, and I won’t stand for you doubting yourself. He could’ve fought harder for you, love. Why did he wait to tell you for this long?”

He takes your following silence as room to continue, he leans forward on his elbows, a sharp look in his eyes.

“The bloke handled the entire situation poorly. He lied for months, laid his fucking hands on you, and still had the fucking audacity to show his face-” 

You reach a hand as you can sense Simon growing angry, your touch breaking his rant and acting as a balm to the tension in his shoulders. Your hand spread over his and he loosens. His mind seems to fumble at the look you give him, eyes pooling with emotion that stretches languidly around your heart, something warming at his defense of you.

His hand is rough, fingers flexing under yours as he just watches you, seemingly surprised with himself and he reacts a moment later, hand flipping before his fingers curl around yours. You look up to his and the small rising smile on his face warms yours as he regards you. 

He looks sheepish then,

“Sorry Love.”

You laugh at him, something deep and mellow, it dissolves into a fit of giggles. You lift his hand and he looks at yor curiously before you place a kiss to his palm, simon’s pale face dusts with pink as you release his hand and turn back to your food without another word but with a steady smile on your face.

-

In the corner of the cafe there is a cleared-out area, chairs set aside and a few tables boxing in an area next to a radio. As you eat soft notes play along the air, the few groups who had wandered in after you chat quietly, keeping a restful peace. You had pulled out your notebook to start writing but as SImon eats you find yourself sketching visions of a cliffside, a lone bystander there calling out with arms held open to the sea. It is then familiar notes played.

Your head perks up as Vance Joy’s voice filters through the calm cafe.

I was only walking through your neighborhood

Saw your light on honey in the cold I stood

Anywhere I go there you are

Anywhere I go there you are

Your heart stirs from its rest, emotion threatening to well up in tears. Here you were in the world. Bare to the elements, you hear the crashing of waves in your ears-but then there is warmth. Simon's hand comes to cover yours as you drop your notebook. 

I been getting used to waking up with you

I been getting used to waking up here

Anywhere I go there you are

Anywhere I go there you are

Simon is in your mind then as he looks into your eyes, seeing the cusp of new tears. He then surprises you by sliding out of the booth, setting your stuff aside and pulling you gently towards him. The area you chose was open so he makes use of the space to hold you close.

There you are

There you are, hmm

You are startled when he drops a hand to your waist in a practiced motion, his other going to your shoulder blade to guide you. Then with skill he steps into a slow dance. 

You're the fire and the flood

And I'll always feel you in my blood

Everything is fine

When your hands resting next to mine

Next to mine

You're the fire and the flood

He moves in quarters, slow sweeping lines, keeping you close, shielded from the looks of the other patrons of the cafe by his broad form. Your feet fumble at first but with a gentle squeeze of your waist, strong arms pull you back into step. 

Since we met I feel a lightness in my step

You're miles away but I still feel you

Anywhere I go there you are

Anywhere I go there you are

Late at night when you can't fall asleep

I'll be lying right beside you counting sheep

Anywhere I go there you are

Anywhere I go there you are

Memories of dancing long nights by the sea surface in your mind, you clench your teeth and shake them away before working to fall into step as Simon makes another sweeping turn. He looks out, always observing, always guarding. 

There you are

There you are

His fingers sprawl against your clothes, the warmth of him seeping into your soul. 

You're the fire and the flood

And I'll always feel you in my blood

Everything is fine

When your hand is resting next to mine

Next to mine

You're the fire and the flood

As he makes another turn, back to the booth he guides you out into a spin, which you twirl into on steady feet, his hands hovering. It is when you return when he meets your eyes with his. The depth of them makes you stumble, caught off guard by the emotion in his eyes.

Now listen here she said

Boy when you know you'll know

And I know

You're the fire and the flood

And I'll always feel you in my blood

Everything is fine

When your hand is resting next to mine

Next to mine

You're the fire and the flood

As the song ends his arms catch you effortlessly as you stumble back, overcomed with new emotions that burn your heart. Your hands fall to his chest as he breaks out of the dance, head cocking in question. But his eyes never leave yours and the breath is stolen from you by the warmth in them. You can't look away, even as a new song starts, as the other patrons clap, even as the fox kit dances in the air. 

At that moment there is nothing else in your mind but his arms wrapping around you, he pulls you closer and dips his head down before kissing you anew. Your hands shoot to his arms as he pulls you closer until there is no space between you two. His head turns, hand coming to your neck to kiss you deeper. A moment later he parts with blow pupils, mouth slightly agape in wonder as his eyes shine down into yours. 

You feel a sudden shyness then, you bury your head into his chest and he laughs. It's light, boyish even and despite all of the muscle and scars of him you feel his shoulders lighten and grief melt away as he pulls you to him in a sturdy embrace.

Something has shifted then, in this key moment. Two stings tangled together with the force of the sea. You see it as he lingers, releasing you to slid back into the booth. You see it as he smiles at the other patrons, an abashed grin with light eyes.

You sense it as you return to your sketching, a leg pressed against yours, making you smile to yourself. He sticks close to you you move, taking his and your dishes to the counter where the woman smiles at you, Simon lingering behind with your stuff. You move to pay but he is quicker, card in hand as the woman chuckles at his antics. She makes the payment before murmuring a “just a moment” before turning into the back room. In a minute she returns with a thick brown paper bag smelling of berry and vanilla.

“Here you are love, something for the road.”

You take the bag and offer a thanks with a smile, the woman nods and then turns back to her work as you both turn towards the door. Simon stays close enough to chase off the cold as you reach the steps, his hand taking yours before stepping down and heading to the car. He sets your stuff in the back before opening your door and helping you into the car. He then takes the driver's seat and pulls out onto the road. 

As he drives you watch the sea begin to awaken in the gusts of the morning as the sun takes its crown. The window is cold but the warmth of the sun settles into your lap as the fox kit snuggles in. As he finally turns away from the sea, Simon’s hand moves, lifting from its rest at the center console to seek you out. You move then, taking his hand in yours you lift it and press a tender kiss to his knuckles, finding them cold underneath your lips.

“Your cold Si.”

He seems caught off guard in that moment, glancing at you before clearing his throat and looking back to the road with a dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. 

“Right.” It's quiet and your heart melts when his hand grips yours, coming to rest in your lap. You reach and turn the heat on a little more before pulling Simon’s jacket over you to keep in the warmth. 

The next minutes pass in comfortable silence as Simon drives, his hand occasionally squeezing yours as you feel the warmth seep into his skin. When you are pleased you release his hand and he looks at you through the corner of his eyes. Despite his newfound freedom his hand lingers. Fingertips brush over your wrist before his hand settles on your knee. You chuckle when a pleasant smile curls onto his face and he looks back to the road in non-acknowledgement. 

Taglist:

@ghostlythots, @tapioca-milktea1978, @cmbghost, @nexthyperfix, @feedthefandoms995

@blubearxy

[themoonsjewel]

🎠 NEUVILLETTE—lovebirds of summer unseen.

summers are a sight in fontaine, as lovebirds take on a newfound joy frolicking under the sun's brilliance. oh, birds or a metaphor for people in love? both, actually. poetry, summer and love go hand in hand, as they say.

Peace.

It's a lovely sentiment, floating in the air with it's elegant charm; whispering in love's ear words of mischief as she stirred with excitement. You manage to notice it, although barely, in the way the birds were more social than usual and in the way morning dew hadn't evaporated yet; drawing in butterflies and lovebirds who mistook them as pearls.

Sigewienne did not have time for such idle romanticism, however, although she usually found herself noting down the beautiful words of prose and poetry you'd use for people, things and places. It was a thick notebook full of those now, and Wriothesley had begun dropping subtle hints that he appreciated hearing such flowery words in his tea time.

But for now both were busy, and them being busy meant that you were going to get dragged into matters as well. In a way, you were cherishing the last few moments of peace you'd get before you'd have to return to court cases and resolving issues again.

Not that you didn't have appreciation for your work, but nowadays someone else managed to intrigue you more than the hearings themselves. You were messing up your words in court sometimes, and it was taking everything in you to not start wearing a veil to avoid catching sight of him during trials.

You sighed.

A small lovebird, shaded with beauty of the dusk itself, took shelter from the soft drizzle pouring outside near the end of your desk. She tilted her head, taking in the enormous simplicity of the room with her bead-shaped eyes. But eventually her interest shifted towards you and she chirped excitedly, almost as though trying to start conversation.

You liked to flatter yourself by thinking that lovebirds could sense when people were in love, and hence took a liking to people who were pining for someone.

Leaves know, flowers know, and know do these birds. The whole world knows, except for the person for whom all my poetry is meant.

You sighed, stood up and placed the teacup back on the table with a content gaze. Wearing your coat again, and picking up your files, you mentally prepared yourself to face him as you left your office.

The lovebird took to settling near your now empty yet warm cup as soon as you left, singing away. Perhaps it sang of your romantic yearning and loving gaze.

The drizzle stopped.

Neuvillette was eternally busy. As the head of the nation and personification of divine law itself, you wouldn't expect otherwise. But even when he drank tea or enjoyed rain, the serene thoughtlessness that would usually cloud people's eyes while relaxing never seemed to blossom behind his own. He was always thinking something, useful or useless, with equal depth and emotion.

But he was always attentive, and the owner of quick ears and a smile-lined face.

'Welcome, just who I was expecting, please come take a seat Miss,' he gestured towards the seat opposite to his own, and kept his teacup down as he called for a Melusine.

'Please bring her a cup of-'

'Oh, there will be no need Monsieur Neuvillette. I had a cup before coming.'

He smiled, 'You never quite give anyone the opportunity to offer you anything. Perhaps anything else you'd like? Water, juice, cake, biscuits; anything I can entertain you with?'

'Oh no, I must pick something now that you put it like that. I think half a cup of tea would suffice.'

Neuvillette turned to the melusine and nodded with a smile, and she walked away with a cheerful stride. Melusines all adored him; after all, he was perhaps their greatest fan in all of Teyvat. He not only restructured the way they were treated in society, but also gave them the opportunity to live happy and stable lives of honour and dignity.

'Oh, it stopped raining...', you said, gaze catching and getting hooked on to the now cheerful sky as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds, rainbows overtaking the place of slow winds and grey clouds.

🎈

Her gaze was of gentle disappointment as she witnessed the drizzle come to a halt. Her features were still, and appeared to take in the beauty of the world as he drank in her own.

She smiled gently, the crescent moon's shape mirroring on her face forming twin lakes who the illiterate called eyes. Somebody wanted to drown in these eyes, grow the lotuses of their love and become an eternal inhabitant of their plenilune beauty.

'The rain is quite beautiful Monsieur Neuvillette, isn't it?'

He found himself faltering, 'It is most beautiful indeed; It appears you adore the rain more than sunny skies.'

She smiled, pearls peaking from beneath her rose-like lips. 'Ah, yes, I do! It makes me very rom—' she blushed suddenly, making him smile. 'Ah, I mean, very, uh, reminiscing. It makes me very nostalgic, it's a good feeling.'

And as her bright smile was replaced with a shy one, it appeared as though heavens had descended to shade her in the most beautiful of lights. Just then the melusine came back with a cup of tea, the cup being the one Neuvillette had picked out for her to be served tea in.

Both made eye contact then, as they drowned in each other's love.

🌒🌗🌘

'Lady Furina, I'd like some sad books, or drama recommendations.'

Furina looked up, curious. 'But you never liked such media, what happened?'

Neuvillette's neck turned red, much as he had predicted and hence had accordingly covered with a scarf beforehand.

'Someone said they can be quite comforting sometimes.'

Furina giggled, 'Do you plan to flood Fontaine in summer?'

He averted his gaze, gently muttering, 'I mean if she likes floods then we could try that too,'

'What?'

'So, do you have any good recommendations, Lady Furina?'

[mgu-h]

Lando Review 41/? • Nov 2021 • Brazilian GP

[spinecurlingmice]

okay more on hajime's underwear. . in a world where all the fte's are canon for everybody and not just a gameplay thing, do you think everybody on the island made it like. a bet or something. every single person he's became close with on this fucking island gave him their panties as a token of closeness, so like are they waiting for him to reciprocate?? the one person he gives his underwear to is like. the Chosen hajime person and they get to gloat ? do they ask.

[woahajimes]

so my dad didnt spoil me with really expensive gifts but

[starflungwaddledee]

rising from the grave to submit someone for the shipaganza event huehuehuehue

Daroach. I think they could have a pretty fun relationship, maybe Daroach could try and convince Starstruck to get into a bit of mischief with him and his gang, or maybe the flirtatious thief is just messing with her a bit to probably steal something only to actually fall for her

he sure knows how to spoil a gal

*✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ valentines shipaganza masterpost ✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ⋆˙⟡

[xhyjin]

husband gojo! who turns into “the neediest” after a long day of being “the strongest” the moment he walks through the door. his blindfold or glasses are tossed aside because, to him, you’re no sight for sore eyes; he wants nothing obstructing his view of you. he’s immediately all over you, clinging to you like a lifeline. and when you groan, “toru, i need my personal space,” he only grins and murmurs, “i need your personal space too, baby,” before wrapping his long legs around you, nearly making you stumble and fall with him still stubbornly attached, laughing like it’s the best part of his day. (it is)

husband gojo! who, ever since you baked him a birthday cake once, fell head over heels for your baking. now, it’s a tradition; he refuses to have a birthday cake unless it’s made and decorated by you. this extends to his sweet tooth cravings too; whenever he comes across random dessert recipes on his phone, he immediately sends them your way with an innocent “doesn’t this look good?” even if you’ve never seen or heard of the dessert before. he’ll hover around the kitchen, sneaking peeks and stealing tastes, grinning like a kid because there’s nothing sweeter to him than something made by your hands.

husband gojo! who absolutely loves when you spend his money. it takes you a while to get comfortable using it because you feel bad, but he always reassures you with a grin, “my money is your money, sweetheart. it’s all gonna be spent on you anyway.” he gets genuinely excited when you come home from a shopping trip or when packages arrive at the door, practically glowing with pride. seeing you spoiled and happy makes him feel like he’s doing something right. his favorite part, though, is when you give him a haul, showing off everything you bought and trying on all your new clothes just for him. he’ll sit back, arms crossed with the biggest smirk on his face, and say, “damn, I knew my money looked good on you.”

husband gojo! who is so, so, so protective of you that sometimes he just wants to keep you home, away from the outside world, where nothing can touch you. he’s spent his whole life as nothing but a weapon for jujutsu society, and all he wants now is to keep you safe, to shield you from everything. when you’re out together, his arm is always wrapped securely around your waist or draped over your shoulder, a silent reminder to everyone that you’re his to protect. dates are rarely in public—he prefers private, intimate places or the comfort of home, where he knows you’re safe in his arms. he’ll even insist on teaching you self-defense, but the lesson always ends the same: him pinning you down, a smirk on his face as he attacks you with kisses, murmuring, “looks like you’re still defenseless against me.”

husband gojo! who quite literally steals your entire personality. the moment you say a new phrase or pick up a habit, he’s quick to latch onto it, memorizing it like it’s second nature. by the next day, he’s already using it effortlessly, as if it’s always been part of his vocabulary. when you catch him doing it, he just shrugs with a small grin, “what can I say? you’re my favorite person—I can’t help it.” he admires you so much that your quirks and habits naturally become his own.

husband gojo! who sometimes tries to scare you in the mornings by hovering over you, his face so close that the first thing you see when you open your eyes are his deep blue eyes staring wide into yours. it always makes you jolt awake, your hands flailing as you instinctively poke or smack him in surprise. he’ll laugh, completely unfazed, pulling back just enough to grin down at you with a playful, “good morning, sleepyhead. miss me?” even when you scold him for nearly giving you a heart attack, he just chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead like it’s the most natural way to start his day.

husband gojo! who, just like he steals your personality, also steals your scent and fashion. if you have a favorite perfume, he’s either hunting down the “manly” version of it or shamelessly spritzing yours when you’re not looking. and when it comes to clothes, he’ll buy the exact same pieces you own—just a few sizes bigger so they suit him. it’s not even subtle; he’ll walk out wearing a sweater that’s just like yours, grinning proudly when you notice. “what? we match. it’s cute,” he says, completely unapologetic, because to him, there’s nothing better than being a reflection of the person he loves most.

husband gojo! who’ll dye a small streak of his snow-white hair your favorite color just to surprise you. he keeps it subtle and tucked away, hidden so well that no one else would even notice unless they were running their fingers through his hair—and no one gets that close but you. sometimes he changes it when your favorite color shifts, always paying attention to the little details that make you smile. when you do find it, gently brushing his hair aside, he grins at you softly and says, “figured I’d keep a piece of you with me.”

husband gojo! who genuinely tries his best to make time for you, despite how often he gets called away for missions. sometimes days pass without him seeing you, and the distance wears on him more than he'd ever admit. when he finally comes home, the moment he sees you, he's on his knees, pressing kisses to every inch of your body, mumbling softly between each one about how much he missed you. "missed you so much, baby... couldn't stop thinking about you," he whispers against your skin, his voice laced with exhaustion and love. it's in moments like these-when he's been deprived of your warmth and attention-that he starts to second-guess being a jujutsu sorcerer at all. because no mission, no battle, could ever compare to being with you.

husband gojo! who drops everything the second he steps through the door after a grueling three-day mission, exhaustion forgotten the moment he sees you standing there, holding out a small gift box. confusion turns to shock as he opens it, and inside, a positive pregnancy test. for a moment, the world stops; his heart races, his breath catches, and then it hits him: he has a family now.

husband gojo! who doesn’t even hesitate. right then and there, he decides he can’t be both a sorcerer and a father. he refuses to miss a single pregnancy milestone, a single moment with you or his child, because of his work. the next day, he quits. the elders, the Gojo clan, they can pester him, manipulate him, lecture him about “duty” and “protecting the country,” but he won’t budge. “It’s my duty to protect my family,” he’ll say firmly, his hand resting on your growing belly. no one will take him away from you and the life you’re building together.

[caotictimmy]

if you're doing mouthwashing can i have daisuke x reader hcs plz... just pretend the tulpar never crashed i want him to be happy hjdkjkdsjg

OMG ANON…you get me. Daisuke has me in a CHOKEHOLD. Ok so here are how the headcanons are gonna go. Pre dating/confession. Dating and NSFW. I had another anon ask me to do NSFW head canons with daisuke. So why not kill two birds with one stone. The regular head canon r gonna be Gn. But the NSFW are gonna have some AFAB stuff. Still can kinda be read as Gn.

Crushing - Confession

- I believe Daisuke crushing on you would be a very, you fell first, but he fell harder kinda thing.

- I think that because Daisuke can be well.. a bit dense (still love him though). That he’s not really gonna pick up on any hints or flirting. So you kinda of have to wait till he realizes he likes you.

- When he does realize he likes you is probably when you were sticking up for him against Swansea(I love you Swansea but you still were mean to Daisuke🙁).

- It’s gonna be easy to tell when he likes you. This man is gonna be so obvious😭🙏

- We all know he’s eager to please right? He’s doing this with you 2 times more. Always asking if you needed anything, he’d be right on it.

-Little things to. I’m talking some laying his shirt over a puddle for you to step on. I feel like he tries to woe you with these gestures.(and it works)

- Daisuke loves listening to your voice. No matter how your voice sounds. He’ll go out of his ways to find you to ramble on about something. He thinks you look and sound cute rambling. o(^w^)o

- Also I think he just likes looking at you. There have been MANY times where Swansea has smacked Daisuke in the back of the head, cause he got sidetrack staring at you with this very lovesick grin. Staring like you personally hung the stars for him.

- Daisuke would be a bit too nervous to think of confessing first. So Swansea would definitely be pushing him to confess. He’s tired of seeing you two ogling at each other and doing nothing about it😒.

- Our sly little man some how convinced Curly to make a cake for him to give you. (I swear on my life curly is a die hard romantic but I’m saving that for when I do headcanons on him later)

- I feel like Daisuke would sneak in your room. Waiting for you to enter. When you do he lifts up the cake in his hands, “ Imadeyouthiscakewillyoudateme” He rambled out. Being scared you would say no.

- But when you say yes. I’m not kidding he shouted “WHOO HOO!!!”. It was very funny. Daisuke would quickly put the cake down and rush to hug you,

Dating

- I feel like the affection he likes to receive is words of affection and physical contact. And for what he usually gives. Acts of service and physical affection. Let me explain

-(Daisuke receiving) It’s a bit obvious that Daisuke probably hasn’t gotten a lot of praise in his life. So I believe that he absolutely melts when you give him these encouraging words. It can range from a lot. From a small, “good job” to a “I love you so much, no matter what.”. It makes him so happy like you don’t even understand.

-(Daisuke receiving) Idk it’s just a an itch in my brain telling me. I think he likes all kinds of physical affection. From holding his pinky, to wrapping you arms and legs around him cuddling. If it insures some sort of touching he’s down. I also think he like resting his head on either your thighs, or chest. Resting his eyes. PLEASE scratch his head or tangle your fingers through his hair. He loves it so much. Like it calms him down so much.

-(Daisuke giving) You can’t tell me this man isn’t at least a bit clingy. Not in a “if you talk to someone else I’ll kill them” type of way but a “ you make me feel safe and secure” kind of way. Does that make sense? Anyways, he loves flopping onto you when he sees you laying down. Like I’m talking full rag doll flop. I fully believe he brought a stuff animal on the ship. So he fully treats you like a stuff animal. Quick random switch. I don’t think he likes being the small spoon. Only because I feel like he needs to sleep holding something. I don’t think he would mind being big spoon. But overall he prefers you two facing each other.

-(Daisuke giving) We all know he has a knack for trying to be as helpful as he can. We can see that when he tried to fix the vent! To trying to crawl up it to save Anya… guys I can’t do this anymore. ANYWAYS. This man does not want you to lift a FINGER. He is so head over heels inlove with you. He’ll do anything for you. He’ll ask him to bring you a star and he’d ask which one. LIKE HE LOVES YOU SM AND JUST WANTS TO SEE YOU HAPPY.

- He loves kissing. Receiving and giving. From a simple peck, to kissing your face all over. He just loves it so much. He finds it so romantic. Listen hear me out. Non sexual neck kissing. He could be waking up before you(highly unlikely). Softly kissing your neck to wake you up. Just soft and sweet.

- Late night talks are a must with him. It could be about anything really. From what plot twist you guys thought would happen on the shitty soap opera you guys were watching. What ifs, what your guys future would look like, what you guys would be if you were animals. The topics you guys talk about are far and wide. But he enjoys the comfort of being by you.

- You can’t tell me this man isn’t a big back. Daisuke definitely brought a bunch of snacks with him. So he will happily share with you. He is a very giving person. But also expect to get your food stolen sometimes.. make sure you get extra food in your plate to give him the rest. He would appreciate it a lot!!!!!:3

- He also really loves spending anytime he can with you. Especially if it involves games. Let me tell you. YOU DO NOT WANNA PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS WITH THIS MAN. He would cook you so hard in the game it’s not even funny. He’s literally in the top 10 players in dress to impress.

NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (AFAB)

- Praise kink. YOU GUYS CANT TELL ME I’M WRONG. You guys could water board me. Scream at me that I’m wrong. Every time you praise him when y’all are getting freaky. Busting. Like it gets him going SO HARD (pun intended) Like omg… Especially if you praise his efforts/ how good he’s doing. Pray that you’ll be able to walk after.

- This man is LOUD…… grunting, whimpering, moaning, panting. Any noise you can think of hes made it. Like he doesn’t even think of suppressing his noises. He also doesn’t want you to either! He loves hearing you. He thinks the louder you are = the better he’s doing. So please don’t suppress your noises he’ll get so sad:(. But back to the topic. This man needs something to muffle him. Wether that be kissing you, or lightly nibbling your neck. When he starts to get to loud you need to find a way to shut him up.

-Speaking of loud Swansea has definitely caught you guys once’s. Y’all were a bit to loud and he was wonder what was going on and… Let’s just say he wasn’t able to look at you guys for a bit. But after he gave Daisuke a fist bump. Man to man🗣️🗣️🗣️

- Daisuke is willing to try almost everything. I full heartedly believe this man is a virgin. The furthest he’s ever gone is making out. So he’s eager to learn! He was a bit nervous your guys first time. But after a bit that nervousness dissolved into eagerness! I don’t think he’d be into hurting you badly. And I don’t think he likes pain that much either. But I think he would like his hair being pulled. Or maybe you lightly scratching his back.

- I think he would be open to having sex not just in your rooms. Either in random room barely used. Or a couple of times on the couch when everyone was in their sleeping quarters. Thankfully you guys weren’t caught!!! But Curly was wondering what that clear sticky substances was on the couch…

-(AFAB) Munch no question asked. LISTEN WHEN I SAW HE WANTED AN EXTRA PACK OF SWEETENER I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT BIG BACK MUNCH BEHAVIOR. Also because this man loves to please. DO YALL SEE ME VISION. This man who’ll slurp it up like no tomorrow. His favorite made is your pleasure is his pleasure. But omg like he gets so into eating you out it’s not even funny… You have to pry his face away from your core. And he looks so hot. His hair a mess. His eyes dazed but still has that love in them. And your juice all over his face like…

- He doesn’t have a favorite position. He likes way too many. And when you asked him what position he liked the most, he only responded with, “how can I pick a favorite when there all so good, and what about the ones we haven’t tried yet!” Safe to say you guys went to go try some more positions 😜

- I know I’ve been doing really freaky headcanons but I think Daisuke loves soft sex and morning sexy to. Maybe the morning after a bad day HES still feeling bad. You both are still groggy but you have time before you have to get up. Hell sink himself into. Before thrusting as his arms are wrapped around your waist. His hot breath on your neck, as he trailed kisses all along it. Just because he can be a freak doesn’t mean he can’t be really soft either.

- Daisuke loves cock warming. Try. Try to prove me wrong. He loves cuddling. He loves being as close to you as possible. What’s better than combining the two! But after a bit he does get a bit impatient and starts to subtly thrust. He really is trying to not to be you feel to good!

Authors note: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I STARTED THIS WHEN I GOT HOME AND FELL ASLEEP MID WAY THROUGH WRITING THIS. Again sorry for request being slow I’m trying my best😭🙏

[flowafairy]

☆ WE’RE ONLY GETTING OLDER BABY.

❦ g.satoru x reader : celebrating his birthday. cw : fluff, 0.2k wc ʚ event masterlist ( #DAY7 ) ꣑ৎ

“happy birthday to you, baby.” you place the bright blue party hat over his nicely-done hair, slightly messing it up. “you’re old now! what are you like.. 35? old man.” you look at him with a teasing smile.

“heeyyy, im a handsome old man alright?” satoru chuckles at your teasing, something you definitely picked up from him. “yeah yeah, you are.” you roll your eyes. “blow out the candles, ‘toru. don’t forget to make a wish.”

satoru leans down, trying to ignore the way his mouth waters at the vanilla cake. he takes a deep breath, exhaling the air he took in and the fire extinguishes.

his mind goes blank as he stares at the candles. before you, he dreaded birthdays. he was reminded of how suguru wouldn’t be there to celebrate with him. all that happens on this ‘special day’ was him growing a step closer to death, nothing more.

but now he has you. you’re always there to make his birthday feel special, you give meaning to this day—to december 7th. he never fails to feel your love on this stupid date. even if you spend hours picking out the perfect gift for him, nothing beats you being there with him, by his side.

“got you, sugar.” satoru smudges the icing on your cheek, grinning at the way your face contorts into a look of displeasure. “hey!”

“what was your wish?” you clean a bit of icing off your cheek with your tongue.

“that you’ll be here next year, to celebrate with me.”

i have not forgotten day 5 and 6 ! just wanted to post this for my beautiful blue eyed man ^o^

[ameliathornromance]

The Orc who you had fallen for, was the King’s personal guard! Although stern and menacing, he had always been kind to you.

You, the daughter of a Lord who worked on keeping the Queen company, answering her letters and mostly stayed out of sight of the King and his guard!

Since your families fortune was dwindling, your brothers securing marriages to rich young ladies, that made you the only one who wasn’t looked to much. Being a young woman in a family on the brink of ruin, meant that there wasn’t much for you to do other than try and get into the Regents good graces, and hope that you’d find a rich man who could take care of you.

But you’d never had such interest in men. It was always the King’s personal guard who caught your eye. Something about his stoic demeanour always made you feel safe, protected.

At first, you tried to keep your feelings a secret, there was no way that your family would approve of you harbouring such feelings towards the Orc, let alone even think about letting you marry him.

On a fateful night, where the King and Queen held a party, you were delighted when he approached you. You’d never taken him for being the one to make the first move. Not that you weren’t grateful.

That night, the pair of you had danced in the gardens were no one would see you, shared stolen kisses and giggled and laughed like you had never done before.

The pair of you promised to keep this a secret – nothing good would come of people knowing you two were together.

Not even the other Ladies in waiting knew about your relationship.

It was like something out of a novel. A forbidden romance, only a fantasy that could become a reality for a few glorious hours each time the pair of you got together.

It felt good to finally have someone notice you, tell you that you were beautiful, worthy of love and attention. He would leave you gifts in your chambers, with sweet little notes. They were mostly pieces of jewellery, necklaces, bracelets and broaches.

There was a part of you that hoped that one day, you would walk into your bedroom and find a small velvet box, containing a precious ring with that signature singular diamond that signified an engagement.

In one of your secret meetings, you did ask, “why don’t we just run away? Get married and leave all this behind?”

He had let out a snort, “darling, you wouldn’t last a day out there without all this granduer.”

You protested, “I could! I’d do it if it meant we could be together forever!”

At that, your lover had shot a glower at you. It surprised you, you’d never seen him look at you with so much contempt. “Well that’s never going to happen.” He said, harshly. “So get that silly idea out of your head.”

Your heart had chipped upon hearing that. Would it really be so bad to be married to one another? In domestic bliss?

After that conversation, he was cold to you. Colder than normal. He dodged you at every opportunity, even if it was just seeing each other in the halls, he would turn and stalk off in the opposite direction.

While you hadn’t meant to offend him, his reaction to the idea of you two being promised to one another was certainly an unwarranted one. He didn’t need to be so mean about it… but you loved him, and thought that maybe a big gesture of showing him how much you adored him would bring him back around.

So, one evening, you decided to bring a gift to him and deliver it personally. He was always giving you nice things, why couldn’t you do the same?

It was hard, choosing what to get him. What do you gift an Orc who has nearly everything handed to him just for being the King’s personal guard?

After a while, you finally decided. Your family was known for housing a baking empire, and thus, cooking was one of your families forte’s. And so you made him a cake.

With swirls of pink icing and cursive lettering on the top of the cake, you boxed it up after a days hard work and waited until night fall.

Your Orc lived just on the edges of the Palace grounds, and you would be undoubtably spotted if you went during the day. Donning a cloak and pulling up it’s hood, you left your quarters and headed for the Palace grounds.

The guards changed their shifts, and using the unmanned Palace doors, you darted through and raced to the edge of the grounds.

Now that you were on your way there, you realised that you’d never even been to his house before. Your Orc had never invited you, nor had you been close to it while accompanying walks with your Mistress, the Queen.

A tiny little cottage sat just at the edge of the Palaces’ garden walls, warm, inviting orange light flickering in it’s windows, puffs of smoke wafting out of the chimney.

You sped up your already hurried walk. Great, he was home. As you got closer, you saw shadows moving about inside the cottage and the silhouette of a woman.

The smile that had been spread across your face faded, your walk slowing down as you approached the cottage door.

A female Orc appeared in the window, a huge grin spread across her face as she laughed to someone unseen. You recognised her from the kitchens, she was always happy to talk to you about baking if you were ever bored and went down to see what the cooks were doing.

It had been a little while since you’d seen her.

You kept your distance, not wanting to be spotted in the dim lighting. As you watched, you realised that this she was pregnant. She must be on maternity leave then, it would explain her sudden absence in the kitchens.

But… why is she here? In your lovers house?

She was still smiling, nodding to the other person in the cottage with her, before she laughed again and beckoned her company closer.

The box in your hands slipped and split open, all your hard work splatting across the grass as you watched the love of your life, the King’s Guard pull the pregnant Orc into a hug.

Your Orc, your lover gave her a tight squeeze and then kissed her on the lips.

You couldn’t help yourself, you stared in horror as they walked away from the window and vanished further into the cottage.

Vision blurring, you gripped your skirts and bent down to pick up the ruined cake in front of you. Scooping the remains of the sweet treat into what remained of the box, tears fell.

You couldn’t believe it. You, were the other woman? To a pregnant lady who clearly had your lover wrapped tightly around her finger?

All the words you had exchanged, all the compliments and reassurances of your Orc… were lies? How could he do that to you?

The tears became too heavy and you couldn’t even see the cake in front of you anymore. Fingers covered in icing, you put your head in your hands, stood and ran off further into the Palace grounds.

You didn’t care if they found the cake out there, it’s not like people in the Palace wouldn’t find it strange that you came back covered in sugary sweetness.

It’s not like you could tell anyone of your affair either, everyone would look down on you, gossip and then you would never have a good life after that.

And your family’s reputation would be in the gutter. Their daughter, an adulteress and homewrecker? It didn’t matter that you never knew, your standing would still be tarnished.

A quiet trickle of running water hit your ears, causing you to stop your run and fall to your knees, no longer able to contain your shrieks of heartbreak.

How could you have been so stupid? Of course there was no way that an Orc like him and a Lady like yourself could have gotten married… or that someone as amazing as him would have fallen for a woman like you.

Part 2!

Hi! Thank you so much for reading my story! If you like this kind of content, you should check out my Patreon! There, I post stories twice a week and earlier than I post on Tumblr. I also post exclusive stories there too where you won’t be able to find anywhere else.

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Taglist <3 (forgot to add when this post first came out, sorry guys!)

@sunndust @greenie-c

[bagholes]

English subtitles for Johanne Sacreblue

You've probably heard of a parody of Emilia Pérez (produced by a Mexican trans woman!!!) called Johanne Sacreblue. The whole thing is in Spanish (and French, obviously), so I translated the whole thing to English (see read more)

While I wasn't involved in the production of the original short, I'm Mexican and I have a degree in Translation and Applied Linguistics, so hopefully you'll enjoy my translation. Please give the video some love and don't give Emilia Pérez more attention!!

!!!!!!!! ENGLISH SUBTITLES !!!!!!!!!

(Hey! I'm a professional translator, and I translated the whole thing in English. Please upvote so more people can enjoy this video!)

Ah, nauseating France.   

Home of wonderful food such as baguettes, croissants, and more.

Lots of wonderful people live here.

Obviously, we’re French. 

This might look like a love story,

but open your eyes and pay attention!

In France there’s rising burglary rates. 

But why tell you about France when I can show you?

Welcome to la France!

♫

Welcome to la France.

A unique and special country.

Where you’ll know what it means to truly love. Love, love from France.

Live the experience of this place. 

[Homer Simpson voice] Wow, classy.

Maitre D': Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?

Homer: OK.

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Crêpes? Les crêpes? I didn’t shower today. 

I’m not worried. I smell just fine. 

Like rats, sweat, and wine.

The cheese I eat smells better than me,

but my perfume can take care of it. 

I love feeling superior. 

Here’s some rapping just because. 

Oh, mon ami. Merci. Sacré bleu. Comment tu t’appelles? Merci. Déjà vu. Bon voyage! Pizza, kwason. 

It’s croissant, croissant, croissant!

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Hit it, Mbappé. 

Viva Cinco the Mayo!

Long live cakes!

Marie Antoinette! 

Long live cakes!

My fucking crêpe still hurts when I think of you

Part 1: surprise and challenge.

Maybe all those years living in a ranch were good for him.

He wasn’t living in a ranch!

He lived in Mexico City for ten years.

Same thing. It might as well have been a jungle.

Mexicans are savages. 

Do you know what they do to cheese over there?

They eat it fresh!

I don’t think he copied their ways.

He’s still a good Frenchman.

He better be. I expect no less.

He’s my only son. 

All the suffering in Mexico must’ve gotten rid of his rebel nature. 

He’ll be the perfect man. The perfect male successor for the largest baguette company in France.

My son. My manly son. 

Did I already mention that my son is a man?

He’s here!

Maman, papa… bonjour!

Son of a-

[title credits] Johanne Sacreblue. Directed by someone with ADHD.

What were you up to in Mexico?

I learned how to open a beer using a bill.

Jonathan is using a dress, Bridgitte. And he has breasts! What do you think he was up to in Mexico?

Now my name is Johanne.

Nonsense! You’re not getting the company. No way. 

That’s fine. I don’t even want it. 

Honey, it’s your future. You’re our only DAUGHTER. You have to take the position. 

You’ll get the company. End of story. 

You don’t even want me to own the company!

Because I didn’t think it’s what you wanted!

Why did we stop speaking French?

What did you say?

Nothing. I got confused.

I’ll tell you something: remember the Ratatouille? They gave us this letter. They challenged us to the national France competition to decide once and for all what’s better: baguettes or croissants. 

Do you want to enjoy your fortune? Win this competition and manage the company. Or go back to Mexico to eat guacamole.

For the last time, no! You won’t get the company. 

I’m the only one who’s always loved croissants.

I’m the oldest son. It’s my right. 

Your right? How can think that about your brothers?

Any of them could do a good job.

Hugo can’t get over his artistic phase and he’s addicted to sniffing paint thinner!

I’m not just sniffing paint thinner! Yellow paint makes me happy.

Mario Hugo! Good luck with his twangy voice.

Mario Hugo: I agree with my beloved brother, but I love you, my family. 

No one knows what you’re saying!

Dugo is young! Why can’t it be me?

Well, first of all, you don’t have a penis!

Oof. Gotcha.

I’m trans. Other than that, I haven’t changed at all. 

Does it really affect you that much?

I’ve made myself clear: anything that affects our family affects me!

It’s not that we don’t love you, honey, it’s just that… you embarrass us. 

You’re not even an Hugo!

Yes, I am! I’m [French accent] Arturo! (Translator’s note: the rhyme got lost in translation. Sorry about that). 

“Arturo” isn’t “Hugo”!

Yes, it is! Ar-tu-ro!

Where did you get that?

Well… Chofls!! The letter!

The Sacrebleu have invited us to the Great Paris Competition. We will show once and for all what food item best represents our country! If you beat that family’s stupid transexual, you’ll get the company

I don’t know what to do, bestie. I don’t want to own that goddamn company. 

And why don’t you learn how to do something?

Because if I do it, they’re gonna cut me off, and I’ll be an unemployed, 28-year-old trans woman who has no life skills. 

Why don’t you just tell your father that you don’t want to do it and that you won’t do it?

It’s too late. I have no choice. 

Bestie, I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy your fortune with no commitment.

It’s awful…

Good evening, ladies. What can I get you?

I’ll have some French molletes.

I’ll have chicken.

Of course, ma’am. How shall we cook it?

Anything is fine as long as you kill it as cruelly as possible. 

Excellent choice, ma’am.

Anything else? Would that be all?

That’ll be all. Well, actually, I think I also want-

You said that would be all! You must assume the consequences of your decisions. Rot in hell! [spits]

Oh my, what a great service!

I know! They have the best customer service in France! Okay, so are you signing up for the competition?

I really don’t have a choice…

Bestie, you can do anything. You’re stronger than every woman I know, and I’m not just saying this because you used to be a man…

Thanks for the clarification.

You’re gonna compete and you’re gonna win.

Emily, you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only reason I wanted to come to Paris. I wanted to see my friend Emily in Paris. It was the only reason I wanted to come tot this city: see Emily in Paris.

Oh là là, I know! Everyone tells me that! What I don’t get is why you don’t want to compete. This is such an honor for France-

It’s just that there’s a lot of things I don’t understand since I came back. Why are we so impolite? Why do we love animal cruelty? And why exactly do we hate Muslims? 

Because it’s fun!

Yeah, maybe, but have you ever considered that it’s wrong?

Oh my God! You’re right! I’d never thought about it! We’re awful!

Oui!

What we do to birds… we drown them in cognac! Why are we doing it? Who thought of that?

I don’t know.

I feel.. dirty! I want to take a shower!

I knew I wasn’t crazy!

Seriously… I never thought that we were doing something wrong. I always thought that people who get minimum wage liked how we treat them. No wonder they sent you to Mexico… You’re crazy.

I got sent to Mexico for being trans.

They sent you to Mexico because you’ve been hallucinating. You’re seeing Marie Antoinette.

I’m not hallucinating! It’s the actual ghost of Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette: don’t listen to hear. She dresses like a Guatemalan. I’m as real as my tragic death. They should behead her for having such damaged hair.

There’s no point in knowing the truth about France. At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary French millionaire with enough money to live for four days. There’s nothing I can do.

Marie Antoinette: [unintelligible] sleep paralysis at night.

If you win, all of France will listen to you.

Ladybug: Welcome to the most important competition of la France, where France’s most important families will make a very important decision.

Cat Noir: that’s right! We’re here to make a very important decision. What food best represents France: baguettes or croissants?

Our fellow citizens will know what we’re talking about, but for those dirty foreigners that only know how to use soap…

Wear perfume!

We’ll explain the rules.

There’s two events: whoever wins both will be victorious!

The first even will be a race! The first one to reach the Eiffel tower, touch it and say our catchphrase “we give up!” will be the winner!

Without further ado, we’re heading to the competition!

It’s the best race I’ve seen years!

The Ratatouille throw a croissant to the Sacreblue and almost slashes her throat. It’s cat-tastic!

But Johanne takes the lead with 400 rats, and she wins the race!

Rats! Meow!

Here she comes!

Vive la France!

Your love for croissants ends here. What an embarrassment!

Don’t feel bad, honey. I never really expected anything from you. 

Arturo, I’m not gonna lie…

Brother, defeat will only make you stronger.

What?

You’re a great man. You’ll make it. 

Can I have five French dollars to buy yellow paint? I want to paint. 

Later that night in some French dumpster

♫

I’m just a trash man in Paris.

Another piece of trash in Paris.

But I’m also the greatest trash

I’m the trash man.

I’m such trash that I made a fortune using other cultures.

I’m such trash that I enjoy cancelling last minute

because I’m scared 

that they’ll see my tiny baguette.

I don’t have the guts to say that I fucked up.

I’m scared to know what people think of me

If I’m a good guy or just a bald bad guy

I’m such trash that it’s embarrassing.

I thought Karla Sofia was from Puebla.

I’m such trash that I wrote a musical about narcos.

“Penis to vagina, woman to man.”

What the fuck was that shit, bro?

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

Part 2: from hate to love

Why did you ask me to meet you here?

[sigh] I came to ask you to stop fighting over something as dumb as bread.

Baguettes are just bread, but croissants are France itself. It’s in our veins, in our wine, in the air we breathe!

Arturo, wait, don’t do it!

[coughing]

You can’t take a deep breath in France. Dumbass.

Whatever. You’re just saying this because you’ve been away for a long time. You’re nothing but a chimichanga lover. 

Cinco de Mayo!

How dare you!

Does it make you feel good to be a man hitting a woman?

Actually, yes. Now I get why we do it.

I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! What’s wrong with France? Why do they like to hit women? Why do they like racism? Can’t you see that what we’re doing is wrong?

Actually, no. I had never thought about it. I never considered that… Oh my God… We’re monsters! What are we doing? We must put an end to this!

But how?

You’ll do it with me. With your amazing arguments, we’ll change France. 

Do you think it can be done? But how?

Oui, mademoiselle. If you let me win the second event, it’ll be a tie, and they’ll have to listen to us according to the French rules I hadn’t mentioned before. 

I don’t know if I can trust you.

Trust me, mademoiselle. Trust this stinky French heart.

Alright. Kiss me.

Do you want me to kiss you?

Yes. Give me a French kiss.

Here it’s just “a kiss”, stupid

Welcome to the second competition!

This is the most fabulous competition! It’s the racism competition!

That’s right, Cat Noir! And for those stupid Americans who don’t know what we’re talking about, in this competition, participants are given a total of 30 minutes to deport and catch as many immigrants as possible.

Everything is allowed: from making up crimes to blackmailing! 

Each Muslim is worth 5 points. However, participants can get extra points from hate crimes against Muslims, Black people, Latinos, members of the LGBT community, and fans of Emily in Paris!

Let’s watch the racism competition!

We apologize for the technical issues. Cat Noir had a fanatic episode. 

It was amazing! With a great lead, our winner, Arturo, was victorious. So we’ll have to call this a tie. 

Oh! For the first time in more than ten years, we’re getting some words from our ten French emperors!

Stop!

There… won’t be… a tie!

This decision will no longer be postponed. 

 Declaramos abierto el duelo final.

And it’ll happen right now.

Because I love Queen Marie Antoinette.

The final duel…

It’s the fight to the death with baguettes!

Good luck! And may the Frenchest win. Yes. Oui. Oui. Oui.

[Elmo]

Part 3: destiny

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

I think there’s gonna be a fight to the death with baguettes.

What? Fight to the death with baguettes? What’s that?

Oh, fight to the death with baguettes. I’ve heard about it. I think they’re gonna fight to the death… with baguettes.

[gasp]

Johanne: I don’t want to fight to the death with baguettes with you.

Arturo: Neither do I, but we have no choice.

J: Yes, there is. Haven’t they considered that this is wrong?

No!

Arturo: Papa Johns!

Papa Johns: I pitted your families against you with a little help from whom you love the most… your butlers. 

Arturo: Chofls!

Johanne: Wigles, why?

Wiggles: I’m sorry, madame. I need the money, and you haven’t given me raise in 25 years. 

Papa Johns: I’ll destroy you so the greatest French food gets recognition: French fries!

Johanne: You’re losing a lot of wine.

Johanne: you have a rat on your head!

Papa Johns: this tiny chef taught me his secrets, and I used them for evil. 

Wigles: I think I got Stockholm syndrome due to so many years of labor exploitation.

And that’s how we got away from the bad guy, Mr. French ambassador. 

Controlled by a rat… The nightmare of every French. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Johanne Sacreblue and Arturo Ratatouille restored the glory of France. What a captivating story you’ve brought us, full of pain and social commentary. Is there anything else you would like to add before we run out of funds?

Well, actually, yes. As many of you know, I went to Mexico, and my fellow Mexicans asked me to bring a gift to France when I came back, and what a better person to give it to than the ambassador? 

Oh, what wonderful surprise have you brought from Mexico? Could it be some wonderful Mexican tortillas?

Wait… Is that-

Yes, a cake. Un gâteau. 

[Credits]

And that’s the story of how your parents saved la France.

Thanks for telling me these stories, grandma.

My grand-son. My grand-son, a boy…

[sigh] 

♫

Tito, my grandson Tito (translator’s note: another rhyme that got lost in translation. Sorry again). Tito, tito. My grandson Tito. 

You smell like frog legs in the morning.

You smell like you haven’t showered in weeks. 

You smell like a moldy baguette.

You smell like the omelette that I ate. 

You smell like cheese. Smelly, smelly!

You smell like your grandma.

Tito, Tito, Tito, my grandson Tito. 

You smell like snails. You smell like escargot.

You smell like France. 

[stxxrlights]

#𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃!𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

thank you all so much for 400 followers. i really didn't think that i would reach so many people, so i made a special for you. also i can't reply to my comments on my posts or any but i appreciate them. enjoy!

husband!gojo who can't stand being away from you for so long. he's on his day off and he makes sure to spend every single second close to you just so he can admire you and whisper praises in your ear.

husband!gojo who takes you out on dessert dates. whether it be ice-cream, cake, milkshakes, whatever mood the both of you seems to be in. he stares at you with loving eyes while you enjoy the dessert you got and wipes any smudge on your lips or cheek.

husband!gojo who doesn't let you pay for anything. he was not gonna let you send the money that you worked so hard for to buy something that you can get with his money. he shares his personal info with you but does not wanna hear about yours. and he always insists you use his card otherwise, you'll be arguing infront of the cashier for more than ten minutes until you finally give in.

husband!gojo who caresses the ring on your finger everytime you hold hands with him. he does it unconsciously too as you talk about your interests.

husband!gojo who sometimes just can't believe that he's married to the most beautiful woman in the world. he can't help but kiss you out the blue when you're together because you're lips were just so tempting.

husband!gojo who's known to be someone who never shuts the fuck up and interrupts people when they're talking but not when it comes to you. he could just listen to you talk for hours on end because he just lives your voice and is genuinely interested with what you're saying. he also hates it when someone else interrupts you and so speaks up for you.

husband!gojo who loves posting pictures of you on the daily. be it pictures he took of you or selfies you sent with captions like "isn't my wife just so beautiful", and it could be a picture of you drooling in your sleep. but when he reads the comments and finds some creepy guys saying inappropriate things, he's gonna let them know just who they're dealing with.

husband!gojo who comes up with the dumbest nicknames to give because he thought they were cute when he's literally calling you "his cute little drooler" and "his sweet scumdilly yumyum cupcake" but he often times calls you "baby" or "princess" if he's not in a very silly mood.

husband!gojo who showers you with gifts when he returns from long work trips because he believes that you deserve the best. but when you tell him, that the greatest gift he has ever given you was coming back to you without fail, he has tears in his eyes as his heart swells and pulls you into a big hug and says, " i'll always come back to you love... always"

#comments and reblogs are appreciated

[yumeboshi]

𝜗𝜚。．．❛ #02. XXX!

𐙚 topic。．hcs of random things that turn on hsr men

．。𝜗𝜚 cw。suggestive content, i wrote this with no brain, MINORS DNI

．。𝜗𝜚 a/n。aven, sunday, and blade. I wanna write for my bootyhill but i need to study him more to get a grip of him lol

#AྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིVENTURINE ⇢ rebuking his argument in a fight

。i js know he would go crazy when you do this 。he’d find people who just agree with him as boring. To him it may look even insincere 。but you? countering his smartly crafted arguments with irresistible logic with your pretty brain, glaring at him as you do with those adorable eyes? 。this man would go from being mad to being horny. tbh he would have probably already been horny in the argument 。nobody can be more masochistic than he is

“ARE YOU STUPID?” You glare at your boyfriend who looks nonchalant as he idly examines the coin between his fingers. “Fucking look at me. Do you know what happens when you join forces with them? You’re just risking the IPC and it will eventually lead to your unfortunate befall.”

You continue barreling on furiously with concrete points. Every time you prove him wrong, his eyes dance and he tries his hardest to bite back the grin that plays at his lips as you rant on. You are so perfect, he thinks- he is nonetheless impressed at you, your wondrous little brain. Something snaps inside of him when he sees you focused on derailing his points, your lips moving quickly to spit out syllables. He feels a loud moan caught in his throat.

“I get it, I’m sorry, princess, I won’t do it.” he suddenly surrenders and you eye him suspiciously as he advances, hands sneaking up to your back. “Let’s talk this out in bed, ‘m gonna apologize to you there.” He says softly, giving you lovely kisses along your neck but the way his fingers dig into your skin lets you know he’s not going to wait any longer.

And you will be confused as hell, because although you did win the argument, you feel like you just lost something else, a hidden little game he never taught you the rules to.

#SྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིUNDAY ⇢ whipped cream on your lips

。hear me out… i have a gut feeling he likes it a little too much 。ik it’s totally random but he will go nuts when he sees you bite down a particularly creamy cake that promptly smears its remains over your mouth- he tries to think of something more dignified, but he just can’t. His poor brain keeps returning to the most vulgar visuals of you. 。he will always point out whatever you had near your mouth when you two eat, because he’s such a clean freak, but anything with cream, specifically white whipped cream, he will be unable to comment on it and fall weirdly silent to he point you are confused why you not hear his scolding to wipe your mouth. 。he’ll just watch you eat dessert with a smile on your face as you savor the taste innocently. Unfortunately his brain is not, and he will start to feel his cock struggle under the fabric. 。”you have cream over your mouth, sweetheart. should i clean it for you?” he’ll sound restrained, like he’s being choked but his expression doesn’t waver. 。and after he found out his new obsession, he will literally only buy you huge whipped cream cakes for dessert.

“THE CAKE HERE IS SO GOOD.” You savor the taste happily and dig into the whipped cream cake and eat without much care. “Where’s it from?”

Sunday is too busy staring at you to register that. The creamy ring around your pink lips. It bothers him in a bad way. It’s making him feel like he is out of breath. His wings flicker wildly like a cooling fan, trying to blow off the heat that suddenly started to build inside his stomach like a raging primal flame that’s trapped by his own conscience.

You tap his shoulder gently and he snaps back to reality and tries to stare at your eyes instead, yes, lovely eyes, he thinks- your words phase in and out as he gulps, darting his eyes back to the cake.

“…the brand? The cake brand?” You ask again, frowning at his silence.

“Ah, yes, sorry, sweetheart. I was thinking of something else for a moment.” He breathlessly apologizes, the words spilling out a little too quickly like an excuse that makes your frown deepen in confusion— he closes his eyes and opens them again so the heat will ebb away. But his plans are obliterated when you take a portion of the cake and eat it, all while looking at him in the eye with curious doe eyes.

That’s when he can’t restrain himself anymore. He suddenly seizes your chin with his gloved hand, making you squeal in surprise when he practically devours your lips, licking up the cream residue around them roughly before shoving it inside your mouth with his tongue. The sweet cream melts when it gets to your mouth, mixing with his saliva that dips down your chin to make messy thick lines.

“It was from a shop at Golden Hour. I hope you like the taste,” he’d say as if he didn’t just feast on your mouth like a starved beast. “Me personally, i think it’s a tad too sweet.”

#BྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིLADE ⇢ treating his wounds

。it’s ironic because Blade doesn’t want to be healed at all 。but how could he refuse you you’re frantically at his door with an emergency kit, worry written all over you- you are like a cute puppy that keeps following him around. 。he lets you do it reluctantly at first, grumbling about it inwardly 。but when you lift up his shirt with no hesitation to put gauze to soak in the blood, his muscles tense visibly, when your touch ghosts over his skin like tiny little lilies blooming in their wake. 。what have you done to him? He feels nothing but tension and something he didn’t want to register, something a little too pleasant to him. 。and at some point he will actually look forward to having his would treated by you. He still likes pain, but he likes your touch drifting over his bruised skin like an innocent butterfly way more.

“DOES IT HURT?” You softly pat the ointment around another fresh scar on his broad chest. It pains you to see that most of the scars are near his heart. You sigh like a worried mother. “You worry me.”

“I enjoy it,” he grunts in response, but his brain ran a quick recap. Enjoy what? The pain? Or your smooth touch?

“Stay still,” you say, and he does, as you carefully squeeze in another ointment into an ugly looking scar. His eyes never leave you the whole time, his muscles tense at the pain but otherwise he’s relaxed. His intimidating stare makes you scared a little, considering this mysterious man didn’t speak his mind often.

“I think that’s it,” you say, quickly trying to lower Blade’s shirt back- but the man grabs your wrist mid-action. You jump, confused. His eyes are unreadable but he states, “You’re not done.”

you frown in puzzlement. “I double-checked, im pretty sure I didn’t miss a spot.”

He lifts his shirt up and with his bandaged finger, cuts open the scar you just treated for him, making it ooze another layer of fresh blood around the dried wound. His lips form a rare smirk as he looks at your wide-eyed stare.

“There, you have a new wound to work on.”

He will do that until you are out of ointment, and the next day he will come visit you first this time with another set of fresh scars.

[liliavanrougelover]

Every universe

Summary: You ask the TWST boys if you're soulmates in every universe. This is their response.

Characters: All NRC (+ Che'nya, Neige) (Platonic Ortho, obvi)

A/N: guess who's learning to ✨drive✨?

Riddle Rosehearts:

He glances up at you from his desk in confusion.You’re simply laying on his bed and scrolling on your phone while he sits at his desk doing homework. “What?” he simply asks. And you repeat the question for him. He thinks about it for a second, letting himself process the question. He flushes and turns back to his homework. He clears his throat and finally responds, “Yes.” The amount of certainty in his voice could convince anyone that he’s right. And in his mind he is. He couldn’t imagine a world where he doesn’t love you and where he doesn’t get to express that.

Trey Clover:

Trey hums as he closes the oven, having just pulled out a freshly baked cake. He puts it down on the counter and grabs the frosting. He looks at you with a small happy smile and nods. “I hope so.” His words are sincere. He really does hope. He couldn’t imagine a world where you weren’t. He couldn’t say for sure, but he could hope that every version of himself had you.

Cater Diamond:

“Of course we are,” he responds instantly. He didn’t have to think about it. Or actually he has. He’s thought about it a lot. He’s seen this trend about asking your partner that question and has been wanting to try it on you. He would think you were doing that trend, but you’re not holding your phone and it’s not propped up anywhere. He thought about it when he first saw it, and came to the conclusion that you were. In what world would he not love you? The idea’s unthinkable.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce looks up at you and simply blinks. He takes a moment to think about it and smiles. “Yes,” He says softly. He looks back down at the work he’s doing. Or rather trying to do. He smiles at the idea. He thinks about different versions of you, and different versions of himself. And in each of them, he sees those two versions loving each other. He looks over at you again and smiles softly. He loves you. And he always will.

Ace Trappola:

“No,” he jokingly responds. He has a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks at you. After a moment, he realizes you’re serious. His smile drops and he takes a second to think. “Yeah,” he says, “Yeah, we are.” And when he sees you smile, it reinforces his answer. He couldn’t imagine any version of himself not loving that smile. He scoots over to you and kisses you. Yeah, he’s right.

Leona Kingscholar:

He grunts in annoyance when you ask the question. He was just on the verge of sleep before you spoke up. He processes your question for a second and mumbles something about you being stupid. When you give him a light slap on the arm, he chuckles. “Course we are,” he says, “You think I’ll let anyone else have you?” He then pulls you closer into his chest and nuzzles into your hair. “Now let me sleep.” The instant the words leave his mouth, he falls asleep. He doesn’t want to give you a chance to ask another stupid question.

Ruggie Bucchi:

At first, your question doesn’t register. He keeps his eyes on the shirt that he’s sewing. He pauses in his movements and then continues. “What do you think?” he asks, turning the question back on you. Of course his answer is yes, but why would he answer so easily? When you demand he answers, he laughs and looks at you with a smirk. “50 thaumarks,” he says.

Jack Howl:

“Yes,” he says without hesitation. He looks up from his homework to you sitting across from him. “Mates are destined to be together in every universe,” he explains, “that’s what my mom told me.” When you smile at him, his heart skips a beat and his tail starts wagging. Yeah, his mom’s right. Only you could pull this reaction from him. And only you will. In every universe.

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul freezes at the question. His hand stills, leaving his pen in one spot on his contract. He blushes brightly once he fully registers that you just asked what he thought you asked. He stares down at the paper, but doesn’t register anything on it. His mind is racing. “Yes,” he finally says. And then he goes back to his contract. After all, you’re his. In this and every other universe.

Jade Leech:

The moment the words leave your mouth, Jade smirks. He looks at you with a grin, all his teeth on full display. “Why do you ask?” he questions. When you urge him to answer he simply chuckles. “I’d never let my prey escape,” he simply says. It’s a concerning answer (he sees you as prey??) but it’s also comforting in a Jade sort of way.

Floyd Leech:

“Of course we are, shrimpy,” he says with a smile. He wraps you in his arms and holds you close. He squeezes you without a care. “Why was that a question,” he asks, suddenly serious. “You think the same, right shrimpy?” It’s in your best interest to say yes.

Kalim Al-Asim:

“Yes,” he responds instantly. He smiles at you and passes a piece of paper over to you when Trien’s not looking. On it is a doodle of you and him holding hands. He smiles brightly at you, and makes a heart with his hands. And when you smile back at him, he can’t help but scoot his chair closer and throw his arms around. And he doesn’t regret it, even when Trien scolds him.

Jamil Viper:

He thinks about the question as he adds some more spice to the curry he’s making for both of you. He brings the ladle to his mouth and tries it before adding some more spices. “Every universe,” he questions as he shoots you a glance. When you nod, he lets out a contemplative hum. “Try this,” he offers the ladle to you and watches you take a sip and then takes a sip himself. “In most,” he finally answers. He knows all is impossible, but he knows in most of them you’re together. After all, that’s not impossible.

Vil Schoenheit:

“That’s an interesting question,” he says as he applies foundation. He glances at you in his mirror and softly smiles. “Yes, Potato. We are,” he answers. When he sees you light up his face softens further. He was soft for you. In every universe, he would be soft for you.

Rook Hunt:

Rook lights up the moment those words fall from your lips. “Of course we are, mon cheri,” he says with a smile. He wraps his arms around you and leans his forehead on yours. “You think so too, don’t you? That's the only reason you would ask,” he closes his eyes in contentment. And then he leans in and kisses you. In every universe, you would always be his muse. He can just feel it.

Epel Felmier:

“Huh,” he looks up at you from his apple carving. “Where’d that come from,” he asks in confusion. When you shrug, he huffs. From your mind, he presumes. Such a dumb question. “Course we are,” he says. He then adds a final touch to the apple and hands it to you. A heart.

Idia Shroud:

Idia freezes like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn’t expect this. His mind starts racing, as the question repeats in his head. His hair turns pink and he starts sweating. No romance game prepared him for this! “Uh, um… What do you think,” he asks. He needs your answer so that he can repeat it back to you. But when you insist he answers you, he lets out a deep breath. Quietly, he says, “yes.” He looks at you and he eases up when he sees you smile. Romance level has gone up, thank god.

Ortho Shroud: Friend

“Yes,” he says, “of course we’re still friends in every universe.” He smiles, or tries to. He then has a thought and giggles. “There’s probably a universe where you’re friends with my living self,” he says. That thought leaves you two theorizing about different universes. And in all those universes, you’re his friend.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus looks up at you with a curious gaze. Every universe? He smiles, “Yes. I’ll make sure we are,” he says simply. You’re not sure what that means, but it’s sweet. And he means it from the bottom of his heart. He’ll make sure in every universe, every life, every dimension, that you two are together.

Lilia Vanrouge:

At first, Lilia doesn’t respond. He’s in the middle of his game and he’s about to win, give him a sec. When the game ends- he won- he finally thinks about the question. He chuckles and looks over at you, laying on his bed. “Of course, my little bat,” he says with a soft smile. He takes his headset off and stands up. “Why don’t I prove it to you?” He throws himself into your arms and starts kissing every inch of your face.

Silver Vanrouge:

Silver perks up at your question. He was just starting to nod off. The question was unexpected, but it kept him awake, so that’s good. He looks at you and thinks for a moment. “Yes,” he says, “My love for you seeps into every universe and every version of myself. So yes, we are.” He softly smiles at you and wraps his arms around you. He holds you for longer than normal. Oh. He fell asleep.

Sebek Zigvolt:

“YES!” he yells. Who do you think he is? Of course he would be with you in every universe. If he is going to serve his liege in every universe, he’s going to be with you in every universe. You’re his human, after all. He’s going to take care of you in this and every other universe.

Che’nya:

He looks at you blankly for a moment before giving you a lopsided grin. “Who’s to say,” he responds with a shrug. He leans over, dropping his head on your shoulder. “Does it matter? We’ve got this universe.” He wraps his tail around you and leans in to kiss your cheek.

Neige Leblanche:

“Yes,” he says without missing a beat. He sweetly smiles at you and leans in to plant a soft kiss on your cheek. “After all, a prince needs his knight,” he jokes. But there is a small truth to that joke. He could definitely see you as his literal knight in shining armor in another universe.