#always confuse her with irisse

[scatteredlight1]

Friends

March 17/18 - Childhood + Family & Friendship

Summary: Child Curufin and Celegorm on friends and family.

Curufinwe found himself frowning down at the book he had borrowed from Carnister. It was supposed to be easy maths from what his older brother had said, and Carnister had claimed he had completed the book when he was four years younger than Curufinwe was now.

The only problem was that Curufinwe didn’t understand a single bit of the problems that were in front of him. None of the equations made sense, nor did the explanations of the answers.

“Are you glaring at a book?” Tyelkormo asked, poking his head into the living room first before the rest of him followed. He looked like he was sneaking away from someone, and Curufinwe turned his narrowed eyes to Tyelkormo.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, closing the book and placing it to the side before he hopped off the chair. He was still too short to place his feet on the floor when he was seated, which he found extremely annoying. Even the twins were nearly as tall as him, and he was far older than them.

Tyelkormo shrugged, eyes darting this way and that, before he leaned closer to Curufin. “Would you like to come out with me?”

“Where are you going?”

Curufinwe couldn’t help the curiosity. Tyelkormo was known to have the best adventures in the whole of Tirion, and Curufinwe enjoyed his brother’s airheaded nature occasionally.

Tyelkormo shrugged. “Perhaps we may visit Irisse, or that shiny friend of yours.”

“Do you mean Findaráto?” Curufinwe asked, unimpressed by Tyelkormo’s lack of memory of their cousin. “He’s our cousin.”

Tyelkormo shot him a confused look.

“What difference does that make? He is your friend, is he not?” Then, Tyelkormo paused as a realization of some sort crossed his face. Curufinwe had the feeling that his brother hadn’t come to the right conclusion. “Wait. Are you better friends with Aikanaro? Or Arakano? Or one of those cousins of ours? Don’t worry we can go meet them if you want.”

He ended his little speech by patting Curufinwe on the head, which annoyed Curufinwe to no end. Didn’t his brother have any embarrassment? Any shame? Could he not restrain himself for one moment?

Besides, atar had said that Ñolofinwë and Arafinwë were only his half-siblings, and he didn’t like either of them. So, why should Curufinwe like any of his half-cousins?

“Atar said we shouldn’t spend time with them,” Curufinwe made up.

Tyelkormo shot him a wide-eyed look. “When was this? And why? Is it because they’re Ñolofinwe’s children?”

“Yes.”

Tyelkormo scowled. “Well, atar is wrong about whatever he told you. Irisse is my friend, and I’ll meet her if I want to. She certainly isn’t avoiding me because her father doesn’t like atar. So I can’t avoid her cause atar doesn’t like her father.”

Curufinwe didn’t understand how Tyelkormo could just say something like that, but his brother was determined and his jaw was set in a way that Curufinwe knew would end as an argument. Tyelkormo always refused to budge when he looked like that. Just… why would Celegorm not listen to atar over a friend?

“Whatever,” Tyelkormo muttered, sounding displeased. “I don’t know why I bothered to ask you. Just don’t tattle to atar until I’m back; I don’t want him spoiling my fun.”

And Tyelkormo whirled around, heading for the door. Huan was no doubt waiting for him outside. Curufinwe watched him go, glancing back at the maths book he had left on the chair. Quickly, he made his decision. For now, he would still consider Findarato his friend, as long as he didn’t do anything to Curufinwe or atar personally. What harm could it cause?

Maitimo had Findekano, Tyelkormo had Irisse and the Ambarussa played with little Artanis often. Surely, Curufinwe could spend some time with Findarato. Atar hadn’t yelled at any of them for spending time with their cousins, although he didn’t seem to like their cousins much.

“Wait, Tyelko,” he said loudly, and Tyelkormo stopped at the doorway expectantly. Curufinwe shot another look at the maths book lying on the chair, then he dashed across the room and joined Tyelkormo at the door. “I’ll come with you as long as we can meet Findarato.”

Tyelkormo beamed, clapping his hands together.

Grabbing Curufinwe’s hand carelessly, Tyelkormo dragged him out.

“We’ll have a lot of fun, Curvo,” he said, laughingly. “Trust me.”

And absurdly, Curufinwe did.

For that moment, all his apprehension and confusion was replaced by simple joy as he enjoyed an afternoon with his cousins.

[elenagr]

(Fanfic) After the threat

@tolkienfamilyweek The news spread quickly throughout Tirion. Anaire already had a rough idea of what happened in the palace of King Finwe. She was working in the garden with her youngest son when Findekano and Turukano arrived. Findekano was having a difficult conversation with his older cousin. Turukano gave details of the aborted Council, adding that Nolofinwe went to his younger brother.

“Almost killed”… It sounded wild in peaceful Aman. It’s like something from the old days, when the Quendi lived in distant Endor. Anaire could not find a place for herself.

The hour of the Mixing of Light had passed when she finally heard the creak of the gate. Nolofinwe has arrived. He was calm, as if nothing had happened, and smiled…

- Darling! - she literally hung on him, not wanting to let go. It didn't escape her gaze that his tunic was slit in the heart area.

“It’s okay, melda, don’t worry,” he took his wife in his arms. So they stood, enveloped in the soft silver light of Telperion. Blue flowers looked at them with their kind eyes.

Anaire felt that someone’s overly fiery, unkind gaze was watching them from behind the fence. The glance flashed and disappeared. Did her imagine it or not? It doesn't matter now. The only important thing is that she and her husband are together; this state is akin to flying. All fears disappeared for a while. She always felt this, being in the power of the strong hands of her husband.

Then she excitedly kissed the cut on his chest. At his younger brother’s house they had already smeared him with some medicine. The elf felt bitterness on her lips, not yet knowing that this was the taste of future changes.

“It’s okay,” Nolofinwe said, “I will do everything I can to protect you, the children, our people.”

This is where he let it slip. “I’ll do my best,” it turns out, even he is not completely confident. Only from such small details, random slips, did she guess the feelings he was hiding.

“I am summoned to the court of the Valar,” Nolofinwe said a few days later. Anaire's heart sank: what will happen now? That’s how she felt: the story of the failed Council would not end just like that. Almost all of Tirion was ready to testify in favor of Nolofinwe. He, however, did not want to escalate the conflict. He said that only those ordered to appear. Anaire wished to go with her husband. Indis joined them: she said that she had not seen Ingwe for a long time. “My dear ones, we will travel together, but I ask you not to attend the trial,” he said. She nevertheless begged permission to be at the trial - she wanted to support him at least morally, with her presence alone.

- Don't worry. They won't imprison me in Mandos forever. Even Melkor came out and is sowing confusion,” Nolofinwe grinned. …They rode with him together on a white horse. At the trial, Nolofinwe behaved with dignity and did not testify against his brother. And when he declared his readiness to forgive Feanaro, Telperion and Laurelin flashed with an unusual, unprecedentedly soft pearl light. It was as if the Trees rejoiced at his words and illuminated his hair so beautifully.

…When they were driving back, Nolofinwe was saddened - he did not want his brother to be convicted. And soon Finwe also left for his eldest son. Nolofinwe bore the brunt of responsibility for the Noldor. He was constantly busy, and his wife almost stopped seeing him, as well as her sons who helped him. Irisse missed hunting with her cousins. Nolofinwe refused security. He asked Anaire not to go alone outside the city. And she loved to walk by the sea so much! He tried to find time and give her such walks. But his wife saw how tired he was and said that she did not want to go to the sea. He felt that this was not so, and asked Arafinwe and his wife, who often walked along the shore, to take her with them sometimes. During this period, Anaire became close friends with Earwen. Everything should have ended not even in twelve years, but earlier. Nolofinwe was again summoned to Manwe. Was hoped that the conflict would be forgotten. But instead of ending the troubles, that dark day brought a huge tragedy.

[adwendoodles]

the children of indis for my increasingly ridiculous and self indulgent project

random random ramblings

the more i do these character portraits the more i realize this isn’t actually how i picture them, just my attempts at creating a range of faces that i can place to names that dont all look exactly like one another because 1. that’s boring and 2. doesn’t actually help me when im trying to distinguish between two characters with similar names

- “not actually how i picture them” i say, except for findis! except for her bizzare hat that im vaguely ashamed to admit is a parody of rihanna’s parody of a pope hat from the MET gala a few years ago, she turned out preeety much how i picture her?

- i put her bg in the vanyarin color bc i think she’s the only one of these kids that seems to prefer being a vanyar than a noldor...

- honestly, as an intercultural/interracial/inter”whatever modern cultural distinction/parallel you want to add” person myself, the idea of ‘choosing’ one culture over the other that is sometimes seen with findis and the other descendents of indis is ...complicated to me, because on one hand its not that simple, but on the other hand, i do understand preferring one culture over the other, even if that culture isn’t the one you were raised “inside of”, and identifying with that culture to the point where you don’t feel connected to the other culture at all or only tangentially...

- anyway. that random rambling aside, that’s why i gave her the vanyar bg color

- i tried to make fingolfin look similar to finwe and feanor. i tried to make him look prideful because he is described being the most prideful of... i dont think it was the house of finwe but it MIGHT have been the house of finwe. anyway. dunno if i succeeded

- lalwen i tried to make her look happy and smiling bc laughter is literally her name. her clothing is actually this one cool cape thing i found on pinterest. also i think her hair is actually straight (like finwe’s) but here she’s dressed up all nice and who doesn’t love stylized curls

- same thing for finarfin re: hair. actually the biggest annoyance i’ve found while drawing these things is that they all face front??? and?? how ??? to hair??? from front??? while using different hairstyles???

- it especially doesn’t help that because of my headcanon that hair is ~special~ to elves i gave them all long hair... i stg... i might change the headcanon to “only elves who went to valinor” just so i can draw some short hair

- i realize that im being ridiculous and this is my self indulgent project and i can give anyone whatever hair style i want like im not even giving them the faces i imagine while reading fics partially cuz my skill aint that high rip maitimo BUT STILL

- *bill wurtz at the end of “history of humanity” video* do people actually read these ramblings?

- i mean i started ranting into the void for the fun of it and will probably continue to do so but now im curious

[arofili]

🏳️‍🌈 Finarfin, Thorin, Fingolfin, Arwen

(so disclaimer for all of these, i’m pretty flexible with my queer headcanons especially wrt shipping!)

Finarfin: Mostly straight, very faithful to Earwen. Had a hard time adjusting to Earwen and Anaire’s relationship after the Flight of the Noldor, but he loves his wife so much that in the end he can’t really be anything other than supportive. Especially since he hurt Earwen by leaving, even if he did end up coming back.

So yeah, he’s mostly just really in love with his wife, but. BUT. i am also fond of Finarfin/Eonwe, so- I think he and Eonwe became very close during the War of Wrath, and Ara kind of started crushing on him, except like, is it really a crush? this is just bros being bros right? and he’s not gay, nah, so like...but what if it is tho?? and Eonwe is completely oblivious, not just to Ara’s feelings but to his own too, until like. after things settle down and Ara confesses to Earwen and she’s like “oooh, exciting” and romcom hijinks ensue, except things are awkward because Eonwe is the herald of Manwe (I have some particular hcs about Valarin sexuality, esp Manwe) and in the end Ara and Eonwe are like, not really sure what’s up between them and are mostly just bros...but also a little bit not. that’s a long and complicated way of me saying that they’re queerplatonic, lmao

Thorin: ooohhh boy. I was put off bagginshield for a long time because of the intensity of the fandom around them, and now I’m kind of on board, but like, Only Aspec Bagginshield Please. so i think Thorin is demi, attraction is like, literally the last thing on his mind; I have a soft spot for Dworin so in some verses I think they’ve got a thing going on? They’re definitely extremely close. But what I’m trying to get at, I guess, is that Bilbo is the first/only person Thorin’s like, actually confused and worried about possibly being in love with?? And my brain hurts if I try to think about Bilbo not being in the Shire to raise Frodo, even in the sappiest Bagginshield Everyone Lives AUs, so I think that Bagginshield is more of a ship doomed to pine than anything else, and them both being aspec makes that...easier, I guess? Like Thorin has feelings for Bilbo, but never planned his life around including someone like that, his devotion to Erebor and his people is much more important- if he and Bilbo do get their shit together it would have to be long-distance, because Bilbo loves the Shire and especially loves Frodo after he adopts him, and LOTR is practically impossible if Bilbo remained in Erebor. So yeah. Also, Thorin is trans, I don’t make the rules

Fingolfin: Lol, both Ara and Nolo are characters I’ve had some Thoughts about this ever since writing ATATYA, but since that fic is about the Feanorians I didn’t really get to explore his side of things. Anyway: Nolo is bisexual, but he kind of repressed himself until arriving in Middle-earth. He and Anaire had a good relationship for the most part, but when he started going overboard (in her eyes) with his attempts to make things right with Feanaro, they started to fight. Anaire and Earwen kind of always had mutual feelings for each other that they never acted on because they both loved their respective husbands, but when both the bros left during the Flight of the Noldor they went “fuck it” and got together. (As I mentioned above, Ara coming back complicated things, but after that it was very much “it’s us against the world”)

But back to Nolo: he and Anaire had a pretty terrible breakup right before he left, and when he didn’t come back but Ara did, he kind of assumed that Anaire would never want anything to do with him again, their marriage bond was pretty fucked up and while he was definitely still in love with her he kind of considered their relationship over. So he was basically single in Beleriand, and in a place like that, without the kind of rules he was used to in Valinor, he was freer to experiment, and that’s when he figured out he liked dudes too. I think he was with a couple mortal men (like Hador!) and while that was mostly good for him, he still was in love with Anaire and never settled down with anyone else (like another elf) because of that. He spent a lot of his time in Mandos being melodramatic about his marriage (and I’m teasing, but like, shit does suck, rip Nolo)- but by the time he was released, Anaire had had a long time to mull over what he’d done, and she decided she’d give him another chance. So I think they’re back together, but with a similar sort of thing Ara and Earwen have going on, because Earwen and Anaire are not letting each other go, and Nolo kind of has to prove himself to his wife. Which he is absolutely willing to do.

Also, mostly unrelated headcanon: post-reembodiment Nolofinwe is a funky grandpa who just loves spending time with his kids and takes them camping all the time. Arakano and Irisse love this; Findekano is just happy his family’s back together; Turukano is not a fan but goes along because he knows he should, and it’s a good excuse to try and reconnect with Maeglin who also hates the camping trips (but loves being included)

Arwen: i don’t have any set headcanons for her, I do like Aragorn/Arwen, I also enjoy Arwen/Tauriel, I’m down for whatever wrt to her. she’s probably bi? and I think she’s demiromantic, because she was by herself for a very long time before Aragorn came along, so it was probably a surprise to her that she had feelings for anyone at all, and she went 100% in on that relationship. until death do ye part, and all that...

[wulfiestired]

💎 { IDK you can chose whoever and pair them with Mea, Moryo, Fea, or Elen }

Their family was one with conflict but Findarato had never been troubled by it. He was born with the soul of the sea, or so his mother claimed. There was a gentle calm about him, a strong undercurrent that ran constantly through his blood. His father called it optimism. Findarato wasn’t sure if one was better than the other.

It seemed optimism did not make up for sight. He was still very young, not yet old enough for tutoring when his mother had found him standing on a cliff over the sea in the twilight between minglings. The light from the stars seemed brighter now and Findarato found himself drawn to their song. “What do you see?” His mother had asked conversationally, expecting a childs fascination over the skies.

“The shore will turn red one day,” Findarato has answered simply and the look on his mother’s face told him that what he had said was not good.

“Do you know why?” She had asked, voice soft but with a line of fear in it.

His brow had furrowed as he looked back up at the stars for a moment. “Our family is apart when it should be together.” He hadn’t known what else to say. he stars told of some of them crossing the sea and some of them staying and some of them fighting to the death over disagreements. He didn’t understand though. Couldn’t really comprehend what death meant for them nor the need to worry.

“I see….” Her voice had been strained but still held some of its usual warmth. “Speaking of, young ner, you should be asleep! Your father was worried when he did not see you in bed or in the garden. Findarato flicked his ears back in embarrassment, cheeks red. “No harm done,” his mother soothed him before lifting him to her hip.

                                                          ….

There had evidently been some harm done. It was years before it came to fruition. He was young still but was doing well in his tutoring. He was finally old enough to stay up and attend some of the evening parties (though he was always escorted to his rooms when they carried to late and mother and father would drink with family and friends.) Grandfather said he was developing into a fine lad but there was a stress in the way he said it. Findarato wondered if he should be any other way. Perhaps if he had, what would follow wouldn’t have carried through.

His mother and father groomed him for a party his grandfather had called into place. It was strange- during the rationing season when meat was scarce. “He has something important to announce,” his father had soothed while braiding tiny glittering jewels and sea glass into his hair.

“Something concerning you,” his mother elaborated as she fixed his necklaces where one was tangling into the threads of his shawl. “What he says might change your life. I want you to at least consider but you may always back out. Do you understand?” She smoothed a few strands of hair from his face and he nodded, suddenly feeling like he wanted to stay home.

                                                         ….

The party was surreal. There were a great many people that he was familiar with that had showed up. Even his other grandfather, Olwe, showed up and was chatting with the Noldoran king amiably. Everyone where gold and copper, red and sea green. The colors of his house and Feanaro’s. But why not Nolofinwe’s? He sought out his cousins in the sea of elves, the only spots of dark blue and white in the sprawling room. Findekano was with Maitimo and Makalaure but he could not make out Irisse.

Findarato did not put any great effort into socializing though many sought him out. He retired for the gardens for some quiet with a light wine even if he was too young to drink much. It helped dull the throb of nerves in his veins. He did not know how long he stayed out there before little Artanis came out to fetch him. She was still so small and full of excitement to be up past her bedtime. She also had a solemn air about her. She had always been so smart, even as infant. She must also realize something strange was happening… or perhaps mama warned her.

“Brother! Grandfather says he is going to make an announcement soon and that he needs you there.” She tipped her head, a delicate frown on her face. “He also asked for cousin Carnistir. I wonder why.”

“That is a fair question,” Findarato agreed, allowing her to take his hand and clasp it to her chest as she dragged him back inside. Sure enough, Finwe stood on his dias and his father stood to one side while uncle Feanaro stood to the other. Neither looked very comfortable but his father was at least trying to look happy, a gentle smile on his lips as he gestured for Findarato to come forth. Findarato looked from his father down to Artanis who let go of his hand to gently push him forward. Well… Alright….

He swallowed nervously before walking bare footed up the marble steps of the dias. He stood a step below his father, glancing over at Carnistir who echoed him. “Good, you all have gathered!” Finwe smiled and clasped his hands together. “As many know, for some time there has been an undercurrent of hostility between my children. My sons Feanaro and Arafinwe have agreed to try their children’s hands in marriage to help bring peace between them.” He stepped down, holding out a hand to both of his grandchildren. Findarato hesitated before placing his hand in Finwe’s, ears pressed back nervously as he was pulled forward. He tried to look anywhere but Carnistir’s face as their hands were pressed together, wrapped by their grand father’s. “In a years time they will be married and when they reach adult hood, if they decide they do not want to consummate Manwe has agreed to annul the marriage. For now, please wish Findarato and Carnistir a peaceful engagement.”

There were confused murmurs as well as cheering but Findarato could not bring himself to look up from his hands. How was this happening?