#altspo

[illinfatuation]

Emo Spo 🖤🕸️💣❤️🕷️

Not my photos - found on Pinterest

[thedarkarts]

Altspo & Waistspo 🖤✨️

[falling6in6the6black]

[sleepypillsandskinnykills]

sk1nn7.h03!.com

[whata-basic-witch]

CW: abusive ex, disordered eating, mental health

Typical day as a depressed single mom and business owner with disordered eating:

5:30-6 am: wake up, take meds and skinnyfit snack attack. Weigh in. Track progress. Let dog out to potty. Weigh in again bc maybe it was wrong before?? Lol

6am: coffee and cigarettes

6:30am try not to think about food. More coffee and cigarettes. Find thinspo and fitspo and altspo

7: wake up oldest for school, argue over shower and the need for a coat since it’s cold and he rises his bike to school. Wake up youngest, change diaper, dress her, do her hair really cute, get sippy cup of milk and her morning iPad time. Try not to think about food. More coffee and cigarettes bc now I’m hungry

8am: kiss my oldest before he leaves for school. Pray I can heal before my daughter realizes I have disordered eating. Take out trash. Argue with my autistic daughter over picking up toys, give up and decide to live in absolute toy chaos instead. More coffee and cigarettes and some alone time on the front porch for 3 minutes. Text my best friends good morning wishing them a happy fulfilling day even though I’m struggling.

9am: work time. Melt wax, pour candles. Make soap. Light incense and candles on my altar. Organize my business plan and finances. Order supplies. Check shipping on supplies ordered. Metamucil shot and more snack attack. Coffee and cigarette, business notes/call with associate. Argue with narcissistic abusive ex over visitation with kids, screenshot abusive messages, email lawyer. Therapy with BetterHelp

10am: finally my autistic toddler wants breakfast or meal replacement shake. She doesn’t like food textures. Try and figure out what she needs since she’s nonverbal with speech impediment. Try to calm my anxiety with more cigarettes and coffee.

11-1pm: nap time for my sweet baby girl. Take a minute to breathe. House chores. More work. More coffee. More cigarettes. Eat celery bc im so hungry and snack attack isnt enough anymore.

1-6pm: oldest returns from school. Chores and then vid games. Finish work and clean up. Think about dinner. Ex shows up to visit kids. Listen to him explain how bingeing isn’t disordered eating and I’m just chubby from having kids. Cry inside. Let the hate boil just below the surface. Make dinner. Feed kids and ungrateful ex. Avoid dinner with water coffee and cigarettes. Clean up put away food while fighting temptation knowing that I should eat something. Nibble on green beans, log calories while ex tries to tempt me with cannabis knowing it triggers a huge binge and that I’ll just purge later.

7-8pm: bath time, bed time. Ex finally leaves.

9pm: finally I can relax with my water, cigarettes and bojack Horseman on Netflix. Cuddle with my dog/bestie. Take meds and snack attack and vitamins. Fight the urge to binge/purge.

10pm: try to sleep.

Wake up and it repeats all over again

[illinfatuation]

Emo Spo 🖤💣🕸️🕷️

Not my photos - found on Pinterest under skinny emo

[falling6in6the6black]

[illinfatuation]

Emo Couple Spo 🖤❤️🖤

Not my photos - found on Pinterest