#although… gosh I did have an awesome burger last night. that was the only good thing I’ve eaten all week.
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floral-hex · 6 months ago
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in the ER for the second time this week. They put me in the stinky room 😒
#ANXIOUS!#I’M GONNA DIE!#been told I’m getting some Ativan to take home so I’m thankful.#my anxiety has been SO bad this past week#full blown panic throughout the day#and I’m so hungry and dehydrated but haven’t been able to stomach eating or drinking#although… gosh I did have an awesome burger last night. that was the only good thing I’ve eaten all week.#can’t afford to only eat hamburgers tho#so… gonna go home from here eventually. take some meds. try to sleep.#this room stinks and has a bunch of junk in it#they had me pee in a portable urinal instead of letting me do my urine test in the bathroom 😒#the nurses were super nice tho#I’m so on edge#I feel so pathetic#I’m scared to go home and feel the panic again#I just want to sleep and feel better#I told the doctor they gave me .5 Ativan last time and he scoffed at how small that amount was#but hopefully the script gets filled and it’s not a billion dollars and I can make it to Wednesday#where also hopefully my doctor will give me a longer prescription for something#I’m gonna beg him#I’ll suck your dick dude. I’ll do whatever. I just don’t want to feel that panic anymore.#it’s been a whole lotta me saying ‘I know I should have done this sooner but I didn’t and now I’m fucked. help me.’#THIS being getting back on meds and going back to therapy and on and on#but here we are. it’s been the weekend.#can’t schedule shit on the weekend#just gotta call everyone when I can tomorrow and hope they all can see me soonish#gosh…. ER trip Thursday night and then primary can’t see me until a week later. sucks butts.#too much rambling. good distraction. sorry to bother you.#you can ignore this#text
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dazzlingfantasiesblogs · 6 years ago
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Hurricane P15
Happy x Reader
Warnings/Triggers: 18+ Only. If under 18 please kindly un-follow. 
Notes: Hey yall. Short Chapter. I know I keep saying next one is going to be longer but I am working on it. Lol. Love you all!
Gifs are not mine
XOXO
Dazz
“Kozik, Same to you. Seriously you are my best friend and brother.” He smiled as you both dug in the food. Eating a lot of the mozzarella sticks and nachos. “Mmm..” The waiter walked over looking at you. “Damn these where good…” he laughed a bit seeing the food gone. “That is wonderful I will tell the chef.”  “What will you have today for the main course?” “Hmmm… a burger and fries and a small side of fettucine alfrado.” “Damn sis hungry?” “I can pay my half! Your always saying eat!” “No I am happy! You and I use to spend nights just eating everything in the fridge.” Internally you wondered if you where hungry for another reason. Stress eating? Pregnant? “No..” you had B.C and where sure that you could not be pregnant. Although it is not that it hadn’t happened before to someone. Kozik looked at the waiter who was making googly eyes at you. He rolled his eyes a bit. “What will you have sir?” Kozik closed his menu “I will have the same thing. Sounds good!” he laughed a bit at your snort as he ordered. “Right away!”
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“Are you sure we can afford this?” you seen the Italian restraint on the ocean in Tacoma. “Sure!” Kozik smiled as you walked to your seat outside on the dock, staring at the beautiful blue waves with white tops that crashed against the rocks. Sitting on the chair, you sat on the chair opening your menu. The prices where ridiculous. You where use to bar burgers and fries for under 5 dollars. To see a burger for $18.00 was ridiculous. “Kozik.. a fucking steak is $38.00” Kozik took out his wallet showing you the contents. Hundreds of dollars. “Where did you get that?” “Well.. I am now a fully patched member of SOA..  I got a share in the last deal!” you eyes lit up, not for the money but for the sheer fact that he was a full patched member. He took off his jacket to show you the kutte. You stood up and went to his side of the table, hugging him tightly and kissing his head. “Oh my gosh!!! So proud of you!!” Kozik smiled leaning into your hug. "I think they accepted me from the food you made..." you laughed a bit nodding to him. “Most likely and because you are so awesome Kozik! You worked hard for that!” He nodded.
Both of you talked as the food was being prepared. “Are you going to stay in Charming?” running your hand threw your hair, you sighed. “I want to.. but I honestly do not want Happy and I fighting all the fucking time. When we are good.. we are good. When we are bad we are down right ugly.” Kozik agreed. However 85% of the time you two where good. That had to weigh out the bad in his mind. “Sis.. you truly are amazing. In the last two years, you built a business that is all your own. However.. you constantly kept doubting yourself, you rarely ate.. you were sad a lot. You missed Happy.” Listening to Koziks reasoning he was not far from the truth. The last two years had been a blessing and a curse to you. “I think the universe told you two to split and now reintroduced you together.” The waiter came over with the food. You smiled at it, your stomach ready for round two. “Is there anything else I can get for you two?” “Ranch please.” Kozik laughed at your favorite condiment. “Of course you need ranch.” The waiter nodded going to go get it. “I think this waiter has a huge crush on you!” Kozik giggled like a little school girl who had the dish on everything. “Oh shush what are we 5?” he laughed a bit nodding. “All you need is to put that blonde hair in two pigtails.” “Yeah that will get all the boys!” Kozik smirked playing to your joke. Choking on the diet coke he laughed even harder seeing your slight trouble. That is what true friendship is. When you almost die from laughing too hard. Dropping off the ranch, the waiter gave you and him a gentle smile. Both you laughing so hard you where sure that tears had pricked the side of your eyes. After settling down, you started to eat your burger, moaning at the delicious taste. It was one of the juiciest burgers you had ever had. Cooked to perfection in your eyes. “Good sis? I swear I just seen you bliss out for a second!” laughing you shoved a fry in the ranch and ate it. “SO good!” HE took a bite of his and his eyes grew twice the size. “What the fuck!  Hurd this place was good but fuck!” he took another bite, closing his eyes.
Both of you leaned back in the chair, food coma taking over both of you. “Fuck.. so full..” Kozik smirked a bit. “I hurd they have too die for chocolate cake..” your eyes shot to his. “Fuck..  I will make some damn room!”
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“SIS!” Kozik yelled as he opened the door to your shared apartment. “Sis?!” “One sec!” you came around the corner seeing Kozik carrying a few bags of food. “Here let me help you.” Taking four of the eight bags away from them you set it down. “Here sis I got you this.” You took the bag from him and opened it. It was a chocolate cake with blue lettering. “No matter what I love you sis. -Kozik”. Tears welled up in your eyes. You set the cake down wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. It had been over a month since Happy left you and Kozik had been there every step of the way. “Go sit on the couch, I will put this away and cut us some cake.” Nodding he slid off his steel toes boots and walked to the sofa lounging on it. About ten minutes later you had two plates full of cake. Handing it to him you sat on the chair. He put on Netflix, as you two watched Bill Burr, laughing your asses off.
“Two pieces of chocolate cake.” The waiter laughed slightly at you two nodding. “Sis please stay here. Tomorrow morning we are going to look at homes.” “Yeah. I think it might be good if we are not in the same home.. that or maybe Happy would cheat on me.” Sighing you thought about if he ever did. The thought of him with another woman upset you. “Hell no! if he did I would castrate that son of a bitch and burry him in one of his own gosh damn coffin holes!” smiling at your protective brother you seen the chocolate cake and the fact he said gosh “Fuck..not sure I can eat all that..” “Me either!” both of you grabbed your forks as if it was a race. Nodding to the waiter you both dug in. “Fuck me!” the first bite was so rich and delicious you knew right then and there you where going to finish that cake.
After Kozik paid the bill you both stepped out to the jeep. Both walking like penguins after all the food you ate. “You done eating everything in site you two.” You looked over to see Happy sitting on his bike. You looked at Kozik confused a bit. “I didn’t invite him.” Kozik stood slightly in front of you. “No one did. I actually was driving to Lodi and seen your Jeep.” “Bull-shit.” Happy smirked a bit. “I am sorry ok. Can we just talk..? Please?” Kozik took a step forward and you grabbed his shoulder. “You want me to stay right?” He nodded to you. “I will talk with him.” “I want to be there.. if he tries to fucking grab you again..” “Kozik..” you slid your shirt up slightly showing your glock. “And it is registered.” He laughed a bit nodding. He knew damn well that Happy would not re-do that mistake. However he felt like being next to you. He kissed your cheek and headed to your Jeep. “If you need me to pick you up, then I will.”
Tags: @trippinjenni
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