#altho he said he wasnt sure if 'she' was 'wanting to be a man' or just a lesbian. but he was chill either way

[lunar-fey]

im gonna stop bitching about it after this probably but ultimately i think the basis for all of my problems w my one client vs why i get along w my second client is that shes rich and hes poor lmao

[14-alc]

ooh question for your ocs! how did they realize that they were in love with their crushes/lovers? love is important to aegaeon's character as she has saachi but i wonder how it all began (also if this has been answered before i am so sorry 😭 i have not catched up with character lore) and im curious about your other ocs too!

AHH SORRY I KINDA AM REPLYING LATE(also dw i sadly forget posting abt my lil creatures😓)

For Aegaeon saachi was the first person she saw when she was being transported so they felt safe for once and when they saw her in anakt too they kinda clung to their side. After getting used to the place n people she started to interact w them(even if it wasnt fully correct) anyway yeah aegaeon found comfort in saachi and loved her as she always accepted her!

For Leto, he has a twisted idea of love as he was given a bit if love and kinda lot of abuse so he thinks violence doesnt mean hate it means being seen n being seen is love(my mans weird) and he found asuka, who stayed by his side n beared w him, also gave affection even if leto didnt fully understand! So i think its that for leto

Can was kinda bullied in anakt and he had people he connected with, altho he probably said i love youu to everybody whos nice to him so hes a chill dude and im also not so sure if he got it but yael gave him comfort too n yea( @bluemoonscape i need ur opinions on that-)

And lastly citino, he saw casimir and he directly thought "i need to protect him" but not in a "gonna protect him from the fights" its more like "gonna protect him from The Horrors™️" kinda way n he admires him a lot(maybe thats why he wants to protect him) when they were little, citino used to stare at his eyes. Anyway so i think citinos reason for loving casimir came from first citino being interested in his eyes then saw he was pure n yea you get me bro(no thoughts only citino n casimir as cats cuz thy sound like cat names i love them)

Saachi n casimir is @starry-skiez 's (also star lmk if you wanna change anythingg)

Asuka is @rockwgooglyeyes 's (rock you too please tell me if u wanna change things

[psychiatricwarfare]

Hello Hello I'm your friendly neighbourhood ghost and I am a collector of spooky tales, folklore, Urban legends, cryptids and spooky experiences and I was wondering if y'all want to share y'all favorite one??

Thank you and I hope y'all are having a blast

hello!! we absolutely would love to share!! we love a good spooky/strange story, and altho you only asked for one, we can't choose one favourite soo heres a few under the cut.. :3c

first we'll give ya a spooky one! it takes place shortly after i was born, barely talking yet, our childhood room had a closet that was connected to the attic. apparently only my dad went into the attic cus my mom & sister were too scared and we were an infant. but whenever my dad went into the attic, the windows would be open and he'd have to close them. then he'd go yell at our mom asking why she kept opening the windows, but she didnt. cus she was scared of the attic. so one day they were arguing about this in front of me & my dad said smth like "well then who's opening the windows, huh?".

& apparently (according to our parents) we point up at the ceiling to the attic and said "man". so ofc our parents were like huh?? so we did it again & ofc my parents were like 'oh shit we're haunted'. but the ghost wasnt actually like.. doing anything other than opening the windows so my dad just kept closing them and everyone kinda left him (the ghost man) alone.

then, out of nowhere, when we were like 3 years old ish, we would just start screaming and crying in the middle of the night. full-on hysterics about "the man in the attic". so our grandma flew in to come bless the house with sage (we assume) and free the spirit peacefully and respectfully. the only thing we actually remember from this whole story is her walking around the attic burning something and repeating stuff. we're told she also made my dad do it with her, not sure why she chose him tho tbh. anyways everythings been fine after that and ever since then whenever smth weird happened in the house we'd be like "welp, i guess the man's back"

second story isnt super spooky but it is weird. this one starts when we were maybe 4 or 5? we were at a paranormal sites tour on vacation, i know how this sounds but stick with us here, the tour guide said to take 2 pictures because you might not get the ghost in the first picture, but you might get it in the second. now im prettyy sure this is actually something to do with the flash and lens flares but, my mom, sister & i still did it and sure enough my sister got the pictures with & without a little orb! how fun! we save the pictures to a flash drive or something to look at for years to come.

years pass and we're all looking at the pictures (as we'd done many times before) and we get to the pictures from that tour and were like 'oh we should show dad' so my sister calls my dad in so he can see the two pictures, one with the orb and one without it. except this time when we're looking at them, neither one has an orb. and we sit there dumbstruck because we'd looked at them so many times and there was always an orb in the second picture. we still dunno how it just disappeared.. our dad was just sitting there like ".... 😑😐🤨 what are you showing me?" as the rest of us went through the 5 stages of grief trying to accept that the one time we thought to show him our ghostie picture, it stops existing :(

last one's gonna be our fav cryptid!! theyre called the fresno nightcrawlers!!!! theyre super cute little dudes that were originally sighted in fresno, california (as per their name) but they usually show up in the US :3 they also showed up once in poland they usually appear in twos, one bigger one and one smaller one, but not always. they're very cute lil guys just look at them

theyre grey/white creatures with long legs with no arms or torsos, if you look closely, their knee bends where a human shin would be, so that rules out a person in a costume because their legs are too long with far too low knees to be a human. theyre known to be small (4'11/1.5m), but one sighting claims it was 7ft/2m~. perhaps the smaller ones seen are children?? from the footage we've seen, the smaller ones never seem to be sighted without a taller one. however, the taller ones have been sighted alone.

look at how cute this lil guy is!! this is from the first ever sighting of them, definitely check out the video we linked to watch it walk around

the person who posted it also embossed the video to prove there are no wires or anything, and in the screenshot above you can kinda see the lil guy and eyes potentially?? theyre kinda hard to see so we raised the contrast n such

some people think theyre puppets with strings and have tried to recreate them, which does seem to be incredibly difficult. the wiki (linked above) has the documentary where somebody tries to debunk them along with all the sightings & hoaxes. theyre funky lil dudes and since it harms nobody and affects nothing, we choose to believe theyre real :3

[yandere-mha-blog]

Part 27

The first day of the trial went, okay,the lawyers did a lot of talking, lots of cross examining between keigo and dabi, and dabi was sent back to his jail cell and Keigo was able to leave.

“Hey you crazy bastard glad to see you aren't dead.” rumi said slapping his shoulder

“Again, careful Rumi, I'm not fully healed yet.” Keigo said “I need some ,surprised looking at Dabi's face didn't make me lose my appetite.” 

“Same, let's go.” rumi said, as you walked next to her, and kent looked at keigo

“Hey i...im sorry.” he said

“Hm, hey you he;ping dabi is water under the bridge-”

“NO i mean, if i had pushed chargers for he did to my eyes then this wouldn't have happened to you.”

“Hey you made your decision, i'm not here to say you chose wrong, you made your decision don't feel bad about it, what did you do with that settlement money anyways?”

“Put my mom in a better apartment closer to a train station, she was finally able to find a job.”

“And you don't regret that, so don't apologize for what happen to me.” he said giving his back a firm slap

“Haha...ouch.” Kent said “well with how everything is going hopefully he will be locked up till he dies.”

“I hope so.” Rumi said “Come on keigo looks hungry let's get something to eat, and call it a day.” “This trial is going to drag on forever.” Kent thought

And that it did, a whole six months for something that should have been an open and closed case, you were sure the media was having their hands full of more money than they knew what to do with now, from all the coverage.

This wasn't a trail to people, this was damm reality show, each time you went in, seeing Dabi there, you could feel his cold dead eyes looking over at you when ever he got the chance, but your fear, went to hatred, then it went to pity, this man was so in his head, no deep into his self destructive behaviors, he ruined his life. 

Let's also not forget the part when the media got a hold of the fact dabi did this for “you”, and how this was a deadly love triangle, you may have punched a reporter in their face at one point from that comment.

No this wasnt a love triangel, this was a abusive bastard who stalked you, threaten you, tried to kill your boyfriend who you choosed to be happy with, love triangel it almost made you laugh from how much people were turning this attempted murder into a public reailty show.

Then the day came, guilty.

No matter how much his old therapist dragged it on, he was guilty, you felt like you could breathe again.

Dabi was quiet and made his way out of the court house, you didn't see any ounce of remorse on his face, he did give you a quick glance, you just glared back at him, then went and gave Keigo,your boyfriend, a hug, the nightmare was over.

Keigo had finally won, he was glad that this was the verdict, having to somehow make it so dabi died in a tragic accident wasn't something he had to orchestrate anymore.No the thought of him rotting in prison for the rest of his life made him very happy.

As dabi sat in the back of the car to be sent to prison, his mind was blank. Nothing really mattered to him anymore, he planned to die that day, so in his mind he was already dead, no family, no friends, no girlfriend, not even a pet.

He wished they just sentenced him to death, but no life in prison with the chance of parole, like that would ever come. Each day was just another day being blurred together for one massive mush of a life in prison, he was on autopilot.

The guards said he was even a model prisoner, never started fights, kept his prison cell clean, never spoke back, not that he ever did talk. In fact no one had ever heard him talk, only time when dabi ever acted out was when he choked out another prisoner who wanted to put Dabi in his place. Dabi just wanted to be left alone, so that guy never bothered him again.

Meanwhile, it had been about a year and a half since the guilty verdict, and life couldn't be better, altho going with Keigo to get his wings back on the scar tissue was extra sensitive so earring keigo holding back screaming for about  30 hour tattoo session, not all at once but over the course of a couple months.

Kenny was still training with rumi and you are pretty sure he hit a second puberty, he had grown a lot taller and a lot builkier , still he wore that eye patch even though the doctor said he could be able to see fine again if he worse glasses.

Then there was graduation, you managed to get a very small AA degree in web design, You still had no idea what Keigo got his degree in. Rumi said the best way to celebrate was to get drunk.

Kenny was still under age so he was stuck with water, as the three of you got shit faced,and Rumi ended up putting Kent into a drunken head lock at least once that night. All was going well, as you and Keigo stumbled back to your apartment and both promptly passed out on the floor.

“MY head is killing me.” Keigo said, as you handed him a water bottle”WHy don't you have a hangover?”

“I dunno, guess I'm immune for now, you lightweight.” you said and ruffled his hair, yup all was going well in paradise.

That was till dabi old lawyer was smiling to herself as she read over his file front he court date, one little slip up, that all it would take, could be a couple years but if she looked into it she could get her old client free.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[sarasfm]

Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs

Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​

full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies

dormitory room: 105

birthday: 20 march 1995

soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza

favorite dish: efo riro

aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands

Bio Points

her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit

she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa

she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !

Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’

loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states

her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”

she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 

Other Information

Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)

Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)

Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck

Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye

Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build

Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101

Personality

the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 

she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 

easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready

rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart

she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming

is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand

she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer

just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich

Fun Facts

has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese

has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 

is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 

likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 

is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 

doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit

if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 

she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul

isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 

don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place

Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know

kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 

Possible Connections

crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  

flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her

enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!

fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !

friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right

mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   

anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 

( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )

[sleepysandy]

fmab rewatch ep 16

is no one else seeing these two people on top of the train

vry funny how theyre bonding with barry

damn cant believe visas exist here

omg they just passed by the phone booth

i just saw that

sheska got a shorter skirt

is that allowed are there no dress codes

SHESKA STFUU

sheska couldve been freaked out more

like having a doppelgänger is freaky

mustang eye bags <3

theyll find out like tonight

woahh totally forgot ross tells them

well being in the military, he knows the risks

especially when he continued to research when bradley told them to stop

altho its extra sus that bradley told them to stop

gracia slay

cant believe they did this ross

shes literally just minding her business

so when lust is in disguise she gotta cover up her cleavage lmao

ep 17

huh was there only one shot

i thought there were two

how the hell did they fake it

is the investigator in on it

i mean they are refusing other evidence

cold flame wow amazing

if ross went to her parents then im pretty sure other people saw her there

well the homunculi are keeping tabs so they probs chose someone who wasnt in central

where are lan fan and fu

when i first watched this i honestly thought mustang did kill her

now i know if they dont show on screen death somethings up

armstrong got balls to say that to mustang

eds too teen angsty to have critical thinking

falman babysitting

everyone pissed off at mustang lmao

lmao he called them hindrances

ep 18

arrogant palm of a small human

who would even combine those words

amazing 10/10

surprised that theres still water there

who the hell is mr han

where the hell did fu come from

not the jesus imagery

ohh they right tho

police and military will never tell the press abt an internal issue

he had to bring a backup :(((

phone booth trauma

ooh his silhouette against the sunset

show those drawings to jean

cant believe theyre taking ed seriously

if i were there id just laugh at this kid giving a speech like that

wtf fu has to cross the desert twice

hes so old how does he do it

jean kinda

forgot jean is higher than falman lmao

the grey hair threw me off i thought he was older

riza my queen

the handling of the ishbalans is kinda weird tho

gluttony count ur days

i will not tolerate any riza harm

ep 19

ure blowing ur cover mustang

omg he loses his cool when its riza hihi

death of the undying???

amazing once again

.good doggy

thank god they did not kill black hayate

i would never rewatch this if they did that

rizas little smile

jean squeezing in next to al

why were her tits bouncing

that was kinda hot mustang

lmao their faces

NAURRR

i hate this

its rlly cool how the show has high stakes from the start

like its kinda an early ep

but theres been a few serious injuries and a death

the only reason why most of them aint dead is plot armor

oooh riza thinking mustangs dead

when they go crazy bcs they think ure dead >>>

they rlly had to have an ab ahot

this was such a slay

like the visuals of the fire

hmmm

so bradley wouldve killed them all if they hadnt killed lust first?

and just tell officials that he was too late to save them?

kinda a sad death for barry

i liked lust but she envy wrath and pride were more interesting ig

still wouldve been nice

this was such a plot twist

i was still in denial that the dad is alive

ep 20

that rlly what he says when he sees his kid after years

of i were ed i wouldve just said that aint ur home

u didnt even live there

the titles are so straightforward but it goes so hard

kinda creepy just watching him sleep

theyre trying winry chill

anime clothes just never ride up

the dads the only one who calls him edward irl

im happy that they have lots of pics when they were young

the dad was acting so sus

cant believe ed rlly asked this old woman to do this

pinako just staring at ed lmao

hmmm

wonder if its an actual person they made

so if they had the stone would they have made a homunculus

trisha too nice

i wouldve never wanted to see that man again

curtis fam just adopt

music so dramatic for what

still a banger line

has he always had a large back

amazing wonderful

[kadywicker]

inifnity war spoilers ahead please leave now if u dont wanna see em

.....

............

....

.....

you had WARNING

anyway heres a rough outline of my thought process thru the movie from what i can remember 

a dude walked in wearing a justice league shirt and it was the biggest power move of the evening

rip heimdall u truly were the hottest bitch in the mcu

i already saw the spoilers that loki died but im still in mourning. my chaotic twink son :( also him tearing up when thor was getting tortured was like, possibly, one of the worst things to happen to me this evening. and his “you will never be a god” and “we will see the sun rise again yet, brother” like i’d rather be dead.

wheres valkyrie you fucking bitches

i know marvel has been trying to make me care about pepper and tony for like.... the entirety of the mcu and in theory i enjoy it but in reality i just heavily do not care

walked into this w out watching dr strange bc i refuse to so seeing him was very unpleasant for me :/

the second that one fuckin... servant of thanos guy showed up that tony called squidward i just burst into fucking laughter bc oh my fucking god. he looks like one of the star wars prequels aliens. i didnt know how i was supposed to react to that??? what the fuck????? kin? 

at least this time tony attempted to get peter away from the fight ig??? also like okay i kno its a running gag but did the russos have to make peter reference old movies like what 3 times in this movie and once in their last one like please..... Please. its done. its over! 

look...... look. look! look. i have made MULTIPLE posts on this website about how ugly i think chris evans is. especially when hes got his weird short, spiky hair. ive made this very VERY clear. i thought i was clear on this, myself. but let me tell u the fuck what when steven grant rogers showed up covered in complete darkness and caught a spear that moves at the speed of light w no hesitation and then stepped out of the shadows i only had one thought: please raw me

also i still dont care about wanda and vision but did wandas accent get slightly less bad or is this just exposure

drax’s reaction to thor was um. Me. also it was this scene that made me realize that ppl saying that the russos reset thor to his previous characterization and that he was nothing like ragnarok thor i....????? hm???? idk i thought he was p in character from what we saw in ragnarok? like did u all expect him to be super light and happy go lucky immediately after his entire planet died and his brother died too like. what.... did u Want. hes still not as grimdark as dark world and he still has the ragnarok vibes but w added “Lifes a Fucking Nightmare So Im Going to Joke Until Someone Murders Me :)” which is just honest to god me, so

oh also in an above part when tony pulled out a flip phone to call steve the dude next to me loudly hissed “what? a fucking flip phone-?” and his wife shushed him. i wanted to lean over and inform him that it was the phone from civil war and if hed been paying ATTENTION he wouldve known that

things arent going to be in much order after this bc im tired and its all a big jumble in my adhd brain but thats okay. its been 6 years and i still couldnt tell u the entire plot of the avengers, so.

tbh the effects in this movie were really fucking gorgeous like.... all the different planets’ scenery was so goddamn beautiful. like idk how to spell it so im not gonna attempt but the planet that gamora died on was literally so fucking pretty i was stunned into a silence what the FUCK was that beautiful nonsense

not enough steve and bucky interaction bc marvels personally out to get me, a known gay

i cant believe buckys a fucking goat farmer like ohfa sdfhadof ?????? just let the man feed his goats in PEACE 

didnt love the whole “thanos really loved gamora” bit but like it makes sense ig. if thats what he thought love was? altho that definitely doesnt mean she loves him or shouldve ever forgiven him bc uuuh Yikes. anyone w abusive parents knows that kind of possessive, overbearing love. and it might be some fucked up twisted form of it but it aint good.

but whoever they casted as baby gamora was spot on? 

when red skull lifted his hood i literally whispered “oh my god” and the lady next to me started laughing at me. 

also while there was a good amount of fighting i rlly appreciated that it wasnt All Fighting and just there to show off that they had cool special effects. like.... it was mostly story and for someone who doesnt give a shit abt action sequences it was v relieving that i didnt have to parse through 2 and a half hours of watching someone do cool but impractical stunts 

man idc abt wanda and dont like mcu natasha bc of the actress but when that chick was like “youll die alone” and natasha said “shes not alone” and then kicked ass i rlly just. hm. thats lesbian.

anyone else agree that when strange said mournfully that there was only one outcome and then said that giving up the time stone was the only way, its basically just telling us that this was all planned and it Will work out fine bc he knew that this was the one path that would lead to them winning. like..... im at least 99% sure thats whats going to happen, here.

steve and bucky may have said 2 sentences to each other but steve reaching out to grab a handful of buckys ashes w a stricken look was literally the worst moment of my entire life and i plan to sue marvel for emotional damages bc that was fucking terrible and i cannot BELIEVE they made me watch that idc if bucky comes back im fuckin pissed

also thats literally every team iron man member to realize that the accords were bullshit and if its 2018 and u still think the accords were right/a good thing i honestly do not know what to tell you

fuckin..... im lookin at captain marvels powers and shes cool and all but hows she gonna save all this........ now im even more curious abt what her movies gonna bring like ???? hello??????

also the only time the theater clapped or cheered was when steve showed up and literally same

i know all the dust ppl r coming back but alsof uc kin......... that was brutal

idk i dont have much 2 add im very sleepy but

i liked it a lot and im excited for the next movie. there were some things that i thought were in poor taste but like..... thats what i expect from every marvel movie, so. im pleasantly surprised by how good this was. idk why but during it it kinda like.... it had the same vibes as return of the king????? like i dont know Why but it has a very.... lotr movie feel to it. but w the staple marvel jokes. idk how to feel about that. i think its good? im not sure. get back to me in a few days after the movie highs worn off and if i still like it then its got my stamp of approval. 

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous  / Next –>

Chapter Two

masonfucker1000: hey! i cannot fucking sleep for the life of me

masonfucker1000: nosam show's today, isn't it?

familyjules: hell yes it is! im too excited to sleep too do u wanna talk for a while while i get ready

masonfucker1000: uh, yeah, arent we talking now?

familyjules: shut up i'm sleep deprived and playing bass my mind is off

masonfucker1000: playing bass? are you reallyyy playing bass? or are u playing around w ur secret bass-stripping software, wannabe christo?

familyjules: fuck you i'm actually playing, masonfucker! u want proof go here: rabb.it/familyjules

masonfucker1000: uh huh

Mason's heart was suddenly beating out of his chest as he sat up in his bunk and plugged in earphones. Was Jules gonna turn on her camera? He was already freaking out that he was in the same city as Jules, he might even see her in the crowd! The boys had already teased him plenty in the past week for being so excited for it. He took a deep breath and clicked on the link.

Elias: Show me the proof!

Jules clicked on the camera and stuck his tongue out, smiling. "Hey, dumbass," he said, internally cringing at his voice. He lifted the bass. "Proof. Right here." He started to play one of Nosam's songs, smiling while he did.

Mason had to take a deep breath as soon as Jules turned the camera on. He blushed for no reason at all as he looked down at his bare chest and SpongeBob boxers, even though she couldn't see him. Jules' voice was awesome. The first thing he noticed were her blue eyes. Mason had seen a lot of blue eyes, but these were... wow. It was as if Mason had been searching for a certain shade of blue and had just found the perfect ones.

Her hair was an absolute mess down to her shoulders, and there was glitter all over her face, and she had tattoos. Blackwork flowers covered her shoulders down to her elbows. Those flowers were framed by a thin black line that went across her collarbone and shoulders, down to the end of the flowers. He could also see a moth and red and blue outlines of a skull on her thighs. She looked good. Really good. And then she showed him the bass and started playing, and Mason was pretty sure he'd nut right there.

Elias: holy fuck. holy fuck

Elias: Jules you're gorgeous

Elias: Sorry i mean your bass playing is amazing, it is, my mind is blown

Elias: but ive heard that before. right now im looking at

Elias: your face and

Elias: you look so good

Jules continued playing a few chords while he leaned forward to see the screen. He blushed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "You're an idiot. My hair is a fuckin' mess right now, dude." He leaned back again, the bass just barely hiding the fact that he was in a pair of boxers and a tank top and nothing else. "I'm gonna respect you not turning on your cam or mic, but damn, I wish I could see you." He laughed a little at how weird that sounded. "You're making me think you're someone famous."

Mason grinned. Jules' voice was soothing and light enough to severely tone down the dangerous words coming out of her mouth, the fact that she had casually— jokingly— guessed who he was. Sort of.

Elias: aw!! youre blushing! thats a blush!! youre cute

Elias: you're gonna make me blush. are u really that desperate to see me?

Elias: im sure u wish i was some1 famous

Jules laughed again. "Asshole. Maybe I do, you could get me a record deal or some shit. I don't sing much but my sister sure as hell can and I can harmonize okay." He plucked a string. "Also I'm not desperate. Just curious."

Elias: i would in a heartbeat

Elias: SING

Elias: you gotta sing

Elias: oh im sure its a burning curiosity

Jules blushed again, but obliged. He started singing a Nosam song. He blushed through it, then coughed a little. "I'm really not that good. Better with other people."

Mason smiled wide when Jules started singing. It was similar to Chris' range— which was really good. And her voice was different. Or maybe he was just... crushing extremely hard on her.

Elias: you're a solid Chris! and better than you think!

Elias: your voice is super smooth but it also has a nice rough edge to it and its fucking rad

Elias: you're a 1000% band material all the way, jules, I swear

Jules laughed nervously, grinning. "You're biased. Definitely just saying it." He shrugged a little. "Ugh. An hour 'til I go stand in line all day for good views."

Elias: youre good!

Elias: it'll be worth it

Elias: I hope youre at the front of the stage

Elias: ha! is that what ur gonna wear? what are those, boxers?

Elias: they are!

"Hell no!" Jules laughed. "It's way too fuckin' cold for that. And yes. They are boxers— Spongebob ones to be specific." He set his bass on the bed next to him and leaned up on his knees, so Elias could see. "I should probably get dressed actually. Turning off my camera for a minute." He turned it off and started to get dressed, keeping the mic on.

Elias: FUCK

Elias: IM WEARING SPONGEBOB BOXERS TOO

Elias: wow u have killer thighs

Elias: BOOOOOOOO

Elias: now im left to imagine

Jules stopped for a second to read the messages. "Twins! And boo for you. The thighs and ass are the result of a lifetime of hockey, my friend." Jules shrugged on a flannel and started buttoning it over his tank top. "I've got a killer ass too."

Mason bit his lip at that, significantly affected by imagining Jules' killer ass.

Elias: thank fuck for hockey

Elias: oh, I believe it

Elias: i have a lacrosse bod

Mason froze after he sent it. Sure, it was in hidden corners of the internet, but it was a little-known fact he played lacrosse in high school.

Jules grinned. "Lacrosse, huh? No wonder you like Mason. He was a lacrosse player."

Elias: oh yeah? bet he wasnt as good as me

Jules pressed the camera button again after he had his jeans on, stepping back as he buttoned them. "Better? Warmer." He grinned, turning in front of the camera. He was wearing a too big flannel since he couldn't wear his binder, and ripped black jeans. "With boots. It's kinda too pop punk for Nosam but y'know."

Mason swallowed as he fixated on Jules' ass. He blushed at the screen and looked up at the bottom of the top bunk. This was ridiculous.

Elias: hotter, definitely, yes

Elias: Pop punk is rad

Elias: and you rock it

Jules sat down again and grinned. "Thanks, man." He pulled the hair tie out of his hair and started to fix it, pulling half back again. "How are Nosam concerts? I mean, I've seen videos, but I haven't ever thought about asking about like... the fans? How did people act?"

Elias: lots of hype. really loud. lots of glitter, merch, posters. as u know, nosam fans are dedicated. altho some people won't even know who they are and pretend they know the songs, which is hilarious. lots of shirtless ppl after T-Shirt Song. might be some shoving around so be careful. theres some younger teenage fans too, they might get a bit much but theyre definitely passionate. older fans are adorable

Jules took a second to read it, playing with a pillow in his lap. "Sounds fun. I— nah, I'll just take off the tank when T-Shirt Song is played. Fuck, I'm so excited. That just made me even more excited. Fuck!"

Mason grinned as he watched Jules get gradually more restless in excitement.

Elias: youre adorable

Elias: hey are u in a relationship? i cant imagine not

Jules was still shifting around a little when he rolled his eyes, plucking a string out of the pillow. He looked up at the other message sound, blushing again. "Damn, you like making me blush. No, I'm not. Haven't been in many, either, if you're gonna ask that next."

Mason pursed his lips, silencing an excited yell. He fist-pumped quietly.

Elias: you're really cute when you blush

Elias: and you're

Elias: into guys?

Jules blushed more, rolling his eyes again. He was silent for a second as he struggled to force the words out. "Yeah. I'm bi, if that helps." He focused his gaze on the pillow again, smiling a little. Elias definitely was interested. "You're more flirty than usual right now."

Elias: can't help it looking at you

Elias: i just think you're really cool

Elias: hot, too

Elias: gotta include both ends of the temperature spectrum

Jules snorted. "I think you're really cool yourself. And probably hot as hell. Can't see your face though, so I'm relying on the idea that you're not some sixty year old mouth breather flirting with me through the internet, like my parents warned me about. And if you are, you're rich, so be my sugar daddy, please and thank you."

Elias: it means shit, i know, but i swear im not 60. ur right, im definitely hot. and young. v muscular. probably the guy of ur dreams. and i would happily be your sugar daddy, baby

Jules blushed, unable to hide his grin. He blew a kiss at the camera, laughing. Being called baby had definitely felt... weird. Maybe it was the nerves. "Thanks, daddy," he teased, blushing harder when he said it. God, his face was going to be the color of an apple soon.

Mason's eyes widened at that, and he cursed himself for actually not minding being called daddy. But, hey, if it works, it works.

Elias: oh, you're into that? ;)

Elias: record for blushing goes to Jules!

Jules huffed. "Asshole. Shut up." He wanted to hide his face in the pillow, but that would get glitter everywhere. "Fuck. I should go soon."

Elias: pretty sure you like when im an asshole

Mason frowned as their alarms rang at that moment. Andrew whined loudly as he dropped himself to the floor from the top bunk. He snorted. Nice timing, Jules.

Elias: :(

Elias: you should i guess :(

Elias: its gonna be good!!

Jules sighed. As much as he loved and adored Nosam... He didn't want to go. He wanted to keep talking to Elias. "I'll message from my phone when I get there, though! And I'll take lots of pictures and videos for the site. My sister is coming with me, too, I'm so excited." He grinned, his excitement returning. "I'll talk to you later, Elías! Have a good day!"

Elias: you better

Elias: i might not answer for a bit tho ill be p busy today

Elias: talk to you later! have a good day, jules x

Mason sighed as he left Jules' room, but grinned as he thought about seeing her in the crowd. It was gonna be awesome.

⧫

Hours later, the place was packed and Mason urged the guys along, getting hyped by all the noise. "Guys, c'mon! Let's say hi to some people."

Once they reached the lines, Mason grinned, touching hands and greeting people from the other side of the cord.

"Dude! You look hardcore!" he gasped as he saw a guy with glitter, lipstick, fishnets, and a ripped Nosam tank. A fucking killer concert outfit. God, he loved fans. The guy's eyes widened, and he grinned wide as Mason gave his hand a squeeze. He scanned the crowds, looking for Jules. She had to be there somewhere.

Andrew came up behind him, muttering in his ear. "You're fucking whipped before even meeting her."

Mason smacked his back and flipped Andrew's hood up over his face to annoy him. Andrew flipped him off as he pushed it back down.

Jules stood in line with Rosaline, bouncing a little as he messaged Elías.

familyjules: in line! we're way at the front but some assholes camped overnight and froze their asses off so they deserve being here first

"Oh my God, oh my God, Jules— Jullian! Look up, holy shit, they're right there," Rosaline said, yanking at Jules' arm. He looked up, gasping a little and bouncing even more.

"Holy fuck, that's them, in person, holy fuck— Fuck, look at Austin, he's so hot- And Chris looks so good—" Jules breathed, grinning.

Andrew blinked, impressed as he noticed a girl wearing a dress that... was made of Nosam shirts? Shit. And next to her was— Andrew stopped, almost barreling into a fan, who did not seem to mind very much. According to the few pictures of Jules that Mason had shown him, the person next to that girl was either Jules or a convincing look-alike. Andrew looked to Mason, who was scanning in the opposite direction, and rolled his eyes. He elbowed Mason, "Dude, check out that dress."

Mason whipped his head in the direction Andrew was pointing, and his jaw dropped. It was a cool dress— very cool— but holy shit, it was Jules. Fuck. He started to move behind Andrew until he remembered Jules didn't know it was him. Right. Duh. His heart beat unnaturally loud in his ears as he stepped towards them. What if he was wrong and he wanted it to be Jules so badly that he'd convinced himself that's who he was looking at? Maybe Jules didn't even exist. No person could look that good.

They were coming their way. "Holy fuck and they're looking right at us aren't they? It's the glitter and your Nosam dress, you funky little designer!" Jules breathed it all, grinning wide and shaking Rosaline's shoulders.

Mason pulled Andrew along with him and puffed out a breath as he walked towards them, smiling, looking to the girl beside Jules, eyeing her dress in awe. "Hey, guys! You both look amazing. I think this is the most impressive gig outfit I've ever seen. How long did it take you to make that?"

Rosaline grinned, shrugging off her jacket so they could see it all. "Around twelve hours. It was hard as hell to put all of it together and cut the shirts. Totally worth it, though!"

Jules grinned, taking her hand and twirling her. "And the bottom is rainbow and glitter cause she's definitely not gay but an ally and as campy as a drag queen." Jules laughed a little, meeting Mason's eyes, then Andrew's. Mason's breath caught.

"Shut up, Jules," Rosaline said, shoving Jules jokingly. He lifted his hands by his shoulders.

Mason smiled happily as the smallest sliver of doubt dissipated when she said Jules. "I'm impressed. Really impressed. Right, Drew?"

Andrew had been distracted by another fan he was taking a picture with, but he turned, glancing at Jules and Rosaline a little awkwardly and nodding, smiling a bit.

Mason laughed at her words and at her sister shoving her. He took a couple of meet-and-greet passes from his pocket and offered them, grinning. "That dress is the best thing I've seen all tour, so I hope I'll see you at the meet and greet."

Jules's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck, no way!" He laughed, looking up at Mason in shock. "You're kidding me, right? Meet and greets?" He grinned, taking one when Rosaline took the other, too shocked to speak.

"Yes way!" Mason grinned wide at them.

"Holy fuck, you funky little designer!" Jules said, latching onto Rosaline and lifting her the way he always did to annoy her. "I knew that dress was good luck. You didn't fuckin' nick your finger once while making it."

He turned back to Mason after putting her down when she threatened to punch him, grinning still. "Thank you. Holy fuck, thank you. Y— We'll definitely be there. It's not like we have anything better to do than meet you guys."

Mason's cheeks hurt from smiling as Jules laughed and lifted the girl. "Don't sweat it. Completely understandable if you find something better to do. Although, I don't know what people in Michigan do. Skate on Lake Mich? Hockey?" he teased. "Just give them to someone else so they don't go to waste. Although I'll be bummed if I don't see you there," he said, meeting Jules' eyes for a second.

Jules froze a little at the hockey comment, blinking and forcing himself to breathe. He suddenly felt a lot colder than he was. Tugging his jacket tighter around him, he forced a smile and nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be there." He felt himself shaking a little and found it kind of hard to breathe. His hand found Rosaline's after a second.

"We'll definitely be there," Rosaline said, grinning at Mason. She squeezed Jules's hand, knowing exactly what was going on. It had happened before. She took the pass from Jules and stuffed it in her bag with her own, one hand still in Jules'.

Mason's smile disappeared for a moment at Jules' reaction. Oh, fuck. Did he say something wrong? He grinned again, turning to Jules' sister. "So, I hope you don't mind, but I just need a picture with you...?" he trailed off, hoping for a name.

"Rosaline," she said, grinning.

"Beautiful name," Mason smiled. Jules' twin sister seemed extremely cool.

"I—" Rosaline looked back at Jules, who nodded and let go of her hand. "Okay. Jules, do you wanna take it?"

Jules looked for a second, then nodded, taking out his phone. He still had the convo with Elías open. That gave him an idea. "Uh— this is kind of a weird question, but could you message my friend too after the picture? He'll lose his shit if he knows I met you." He grinned again at the thought of Elías's reaction.

Mason watched Jules fiddle around with the camera. He was maybe freaking out a little. He definitely said something wrong. Was it the flirting? Or did he offend her with the hockey jab?

His eyebrows rose in surprise as Jules mentioned her friend, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Of course."

Jules lifted his phone after opening the camera, taking a picture of Mason and Rosaline together. "Oh— oh, do you need it on your phone? Is it for security or something?"

"Uh, yeah," Mason took out his phone. "Actually, you should get in this too," he motioned for both of them to take a selfie with him and made a silly face, and then took another one with a smile.

Jules blushed a little at the way Mason looked at him. He stood behind Rosaline, crossing his eyes and opening his mouth, then simply grinning.

He handed his phone over to Mason afterward, then explained a little bit where the text was and everything. "Oh, his name is Elías. Accent on the 'I'. Please, for the love of all things holy, mention the username and embarrass the shit out of him. He deserves it for that."

"Gotcha," Mason took the phone carefully, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous this situation was. God, how was this gonna end? He pushed the thought aside and managed to laugh at the username.

familyjules: hey Elías! its nosam's Mason! i met your friend Jules today, im flattered you wanna fuck me, maybe we can meet up sometime? ;) x

He smiled in amusement as he showed Jules the message. "How's that?"

Jules took back the phone and grinned. "Perfect." He looked up and met Mason's eyes again. His smile was better, just still a bit forced. "Thank you. You're awesome."

"Anytime, Jules," he gave her a silly, lopsided grin eyes bright. "It was awesome to meet you guys."

He saw Austin walking by and waved him over, hopping a little. "Hey, Austin, check out this rad dress and these rad people."

Austin smiled over at them, although he was surrounded by people. "Very rad dress! Thanks for coming, guys," he gave them a thumbs up.

Jules froze again when Austin came over, for a completely different reason. He grinned, unable to speak.

Rosaline snapped in front of his face. "I— God, sorry. Jules is a mess right now." She elbowed him, but he was just staring at Austin. "Thank you for coming all the way up here. It's the only reason we could come. We tried to go to Detroit once, but our parents wouldn't let us go that far alone in just one day and night." She grinned at Austin.

"Y— You're Austin," Jules breathed.

"No problem," Austin smiled, "That's me. Jules, yeah? Would it be okay if I hugged you?" he glanced at Mason for a split second. Mason glared at him for the same amount of time. Asshole.

Austin's smile grew.

Jules nodded enthusiastically, holding up his arms and hugging Austin tight. Holy fuck, he was hugging Austin Salinas. And Mason Hill was right there. And he'd meet Chris later, and Andrew had smiled at him. This was the best day of his life. He closed his eyes and buried his face against Austin's shoulder, then realized that was weird and he was hugging too long and pulled away.

Austin grinned, laughing and hugging Jules just as tight for a second longer. "You're a good hugger."

Jules laughed. "So are you," he said after they pulled away.

That was an unnecessarily long hug.

Mason pouted, glancing at Rosaline. "Now I want a hug. Rosaline?" he grinned, holding out his arms.

Rosaline hugged him, grinning. She hugged him just a bit too long too, wishing she could have hugged Andrew but beyond happy to hug Mason.

Jules paused for a second, then hugged Mason, face against his chest. "Thank you."

Mason was surprised at the hug, frozen in place for a second before taking a deep breath and relaxing into it. He wrapped his arms around Jules and smiled contentedly. This is what a hug is, fuck every other one I've ever had.

Jules was a little too relaxed into the hug. It felt right for some reason. While Austin's hug was awesome, Mason's was warm and soft and felt incredible. Jules didn't want to let go.

Mason hugged Jules as long as he could without it being weird, and then let her go. "Alright, we should go set up. See you guys later!" he smiled. Austin said goodbye, giving Mason a mocking look, sighing wistfully at him.

"Shut up, Austin," Mason shoved at him, hands on his shoulders as they walked away.

"I didn't speak, Mason," Austin grinned, "She's really cute. I get why you've been annoying the shit out of us this whole time."

"Don't you have a girlfriend already, Sally?"

Jules smiled at them as they left, waving, then turned to Rosaline, tears in his eyes. "We just— Holy fuck, we just met Nosam and got meet and greet passes, Rosa."

Mason loved performing. He'd happily do it for the rest of his life, and that was the plan. He was addicted to the roar of the crowd, to the sound of thousands of people singing along with him, to their songs. It was always surreal, always like being in another world. It was a high. But this concert, he had been especially happy that he could see Jules at the front of the crowd the whole time, just as excited as everyone else was. Jules' proximity was especially wonderful after T-Shirt Song, because fuck, was Jules even hotter without a shirt. Who needed shirts? Nobody. That's what T-Shirt Song was all about (not really, but roll with it).

After the concert, Jules had a newfound love for Mason Hill. He'd loved him before, but not like this. On stage, he was hilarious and bounced around and was so theatrical... it was exactly how Jules wanted to be on stage. He demanded a presence, and made sure he got what he wanted. There was no doubt in anything he did, even if he did make a fool of himself at times and absolutely roasted himself. It was astounding. Mason had delivered everything Jules had hoped for and then some.

At Mason's insistence that everyone in the crowd had to, Jules had stripped off his shirt during T-Shirt Song, then threw it on stage after. Mason had made eye contact with him... a lot, actually, after that, especially during flirty songs. It was like he wanted to fuck or something, and Jules had informed Elías of this. But Elías wasn't replying, which made sense, since he'd said he'd be busy, but it made Jules a little sad.

They were in the back of the line for the meet-and-greet, sadly, but would definitely get to see them because of the passes. Jules wiped some glitter off his forehead while they waited, closer to the front now that the event was almost over, humming to himself. He was sweating after all the moving around, so he was just wearing a bra and his open flannel, bouncing on the balls of his feet next to an exhausted Rosaline. His throat hurt, and it was the best experience of his life. Rosa's throat hurt, and it was the worst experience of her life.

"Wimp," he teased, grinning at her. He coughed a little. "Oh. We're up."

When they were reaching the end of the meet & greet line, Mason grinned as he saw Jules and Rosaline. All of Nosam was shirtless, even Chris, who was rocking scars from his top surgery, still looking fairly pink after over a year. It was incredible how it had gone from cold as hell to hot as shit with all the moving around.

"Hey, Jules! Rosaline!" Mason shouted, waving them forward when the twins had gotten to the front of the meet & greet line.

"Good to see you guys again," Austin smiled at them as he ran his hand through sweaty, wavy hair and pushed his glasses up.

Andrew shot them an awkward smile through the Twizzler in his mouth. His hair was sticking to his forehead as he saluted the pair.

"How're you guys doing? You weren't kidding, that dress is wonderful," Chris stared at the dress, leaning against the table to get a closer look at the detail.

Jules grinned, dragging a tired and stunned Rosaline with him. He still had some post-concert adrenaline rushing through his veins.

"That was the best concert of my life," Jules said. "You guys are fucking awesome up there. Better than the videos I've seen online."

"Glad we made such a lasting impression," Mason teased, smirking at Jules.

"The best concert of my life was probably All Time Low," Austin muttered absentmindedly, yawning. Andrew snorted as he stuck a Twizzler in his open mouth. Austin choked on it, yanking it out of his mouth and tossing it back at him. Andrew laughed, catching it and putting it in his mouth.

Rosaline coughed before she spoke. "Thank you about the dress. And for the passes. This is amazing."

"Thank you!" Chris grinned big, "It was a long time coming. Was definitely a weight off my chest." He winked and finger-gunned them. "You're the amazing ones."

Jules laughed softly, then took a deep breath and looked at Chris. "I— Uh— Can I get a picture? Please?"

"Hell yeah," Chris got up and put an arm around Jules' shoulder for the picture, smiling.

Rosa did the same with Andrew, a little nervous. "Can—" She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, then smiled sheepishly. "Can I get a picture with you, Andrew?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied, almost inaudible. He immediately got up, taking a picture with her and hugging her.

Rosaline hugged Andrew back happily, on the verge of tears. This was the best day of her life. He spoke to her. He actually spoke to her.

After they got their pictures, Jules grinned at Mason. "And can I get another picture with you? I don't have one on my phone of us, and no one will ever believe me if I don't get one." He handed his phone off to Rosaline, who took it gladly. "Also— Uh— Could you kiss my cheek? I've seen a lot of those online—"

Mason grinned happily as he took the pic with Jules, hand on her back. He smiled, laughing warmly when she asked for a cheek kiss. He kissed her cheek, pausing a moment with his lips on her face for the picture. He hugged her again afterwards, almost picking her up off the ground.

Jules grinned, hugging him back. He squeezed tight, then thanked Mason and took a picture with Austin.

After a few more minutes of awkward conversation about the concert and Rosaline's dress, it was announced that the meet & greet was over and they had to go. Jules pouted a little, but said bye, waving. He turned around only after a few backward steps, trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd just met Nosam twice in one day.

Mason watched Jules walk away, biting his lip and slowly leaning back in his chair, sighing in abject sadness. He was sad, and he was staring at Jules' ass, and he was thinking that it was completely unfair that even though, yes, he finally got to meet Jules, it was for such a short amount of time, and she didn't even know who he was. And, yeah, maybe he had also been staring at her ass the whole time she was walking away.

Austin thumped him on the head. "I can practically hear your thoughts right now and they're gross, Mason."

Mason only smirked.

When Mason had finally showered and eaten, he fell onto his bed. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jules. Which wasn't exactly new, honestly, but now it was like, multiplied times a thousand. He eagerly took out his phone.

masonfucker1000: holy shit !!! holy shit

masonfucker1000: i got a message from mason hill. you met him!

There was a knot forming in his stomach as he sent the message. The concert had affected this whole situation way too much. Mason had been stuck. It was a catch-22. He had to see Jules, but now that he'd met her everything was suddenly real, and horrifying and he was even more aware of how he was sort of catfishing, but like, next-level celebrity catfishing (that should totally be a show). And if he hadn't met her, he'd still be suffering dramatically and daydreaming about it, but at least it would have been simpler and he would have been ignorant.

Jules had passed out as soon as he got home, but woke up to messages from Elías. He grinned, rolling over in bed and rubbing at his eyes.

familyjules: FUCK YES I DID hold on i'll post the pics in the concert thread

familyjules: GUYS MY SISTER AND I WON THE M&G PASSES AND I HUGGED AUSTIN TWICE AND MASON TWICE AND GOT A SHIT TON OF PICTURES LOOK

Seven Photo Attachments

masonfucker1000: YOU GOT A CHEEK KISS? that is one hot man. and by that i mean mason. mason is one hot man. tell me the truth. who was the better hugger?

familyjules: okay look you know i love austin but mason's hug was so warm and soft i loved it. i made him hug me to compare for you and i preferred his (but don't tell austin i'm betraying him)

Mason kicked his legs, hollering. "In your face, Austin! I'm the better hugger!"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Jules is biased and doesn't even know it."

masonfucker1000: fuck yeah!!!! mason is the superior hugger! dude did u say earlier that he looked like he wanted to fuck

Mason could not fucking believe he had no self-control. She noticed that he was staring like a fucking idiot.

familyjules: yes i did he kept staring at me and he was singing all the flirty songs and looking directly at me and even kissed my hand once during one of them. i was shook. he's a flirt i knew that but it felt different. like he was trying to woo me

masonfucker1000: uhhhhh lucky bastard!!!!! you got a hand kiss and a cheek kiss! 2 hugs! lemme know when u guys fuck!!

Mason yawned, grinning as he posted the pictures with Jules and Rosaline on his Instagram. He cropped the one with him and Jules sticking out their tongues and made it his background, blushing as he stared at it.

Jules laughed again, yawning. He really wanted some more sleep.

familyjules: shut up that's not gonna happen and even if it did it would require us meeting again. i did find a new love for mason hill tonight, tho i'm not gonna nut for him all over the internet like you!

familyjules: i'm gonna get some more sleep, btw. my legs feel like they're jello

masonfucker1000: lies!!! youre definitely gonna nut for him!

masonfucker1000: aw, get some more sleep, darling jules! x

Jules smiled at the message, even though there was something a little weird about it.

familyjules: have a good day, darling elías 💙

Mason wanted to be happy about the message and the heart, but she'd called him Elias. He sighed, putting his phone aside and shutting his eyes in an attempt to sleep and not think about it, even though he suspected it wouldn't work.

[howmuchlongerdoigo]

My Anxiety

When my anxiety kicks in bad like today my viens are pumping really hard like someone got a air pump and stuck in on your two viens on your neck each on opposite sides. Everytime i feel the pressure pulsing i always think of cutting them both and ill finally be relieved knowing the pressure energy has finally left. I hate my anxiety it haults my life where i am at. Especially when it comes it girls. Im horrible at picking up signs, conversations, flirting, im just bad. Plain and simple, like me. I cant sleep at night cause of it sometimes i dont even think its there and knock out like i just worked out for 2 hours. Any day where ever i go if its new to me im excited but i misjudge that with my anxiety not knowing im reallt frightened and i freak out when i meet new people i start shaking i can't breathe i really can't i know all the techniques or whatever. Its hard. Cause of this im isolated mostly i dont mind it. If we've became something then ill feel calmer less quiet and just someone to tell your life story to. But i dont want to be delicate. I was raised by women and a guy sadly wasnt much of help growing up although i love the man with my heart he didnt see hope and sorta gave up as so did i cause i was angry at him for having his accident for me not knowing who he really was. I mean i was raised by a man who all he did was ask for food hide and drink his tall cans and watch movies do nothing. Thats not an example to a lost kid with problems already and he didnt even care. Me seeing him at the hospital all the time each visit was "my last visit" he always came back of course. With more medicine to shove down his throat yay for me right. Seeing him stupid high when hes walking and passes you, uou notice his eyes are almost rollled back hes mumbling and falls and just laughs or cant remember whats he doing. Watching my dad get worse older sicker watching him die alittle everytime . My sisters knew this father who was awesome he was sweet my mom was harsh and the roles filpped after his accident. I am not grown to the man he was or wanted me to be. Im still growing the more i learn the more i tell about it. I undestand he tryed but he left me i never got talked about sex he just assumed they told me in school. He would tell me the stupidest things like dont masturbate you do that too much you go blind. It was like a myth or something. Recently he said about my ex that shes the type of girl you use a condom. Although i loved that girl with my soul and being she still turned out to be who she really is. Not mine not anymore. Just another lost soul in the sea of people. I dont care anymore i just want whatever is left in me gone. I want to be set in my path again not hers not anymore i want out. Im not sure if i came in my friend tho i dont think i did..it was amazing. I need to stop masturbating i need to stop smoking i need to end all of my relationships that i know are toxic. The ones that make me desperate for them. Attention, sex, drugs, people, money, a tease, whatever they want from me i won't hand out anymore. Thats always been my bad habbit handing me out to people. I considered the worst of people to be my family and friends when really they were low lives which were lucky to meet me cause once i knew their ins and outs of their minds they were dumb no sense of direction hated their families altho both sides have faults non of them try to fix it just leave it as is. Im sure he quit that job or got fired cause of smoking. That or he really didnt work good. He told me all his jobs and he got fired off of all cuz of how bad. Thats it for tonight

[zeynepbal]

regret

we have a saying in Turkey “tell me your friend and I ll tell you who you are”

I was against this for all of my life, and this is why I am kind of an idiot.

I woke up this morning, took the trash out, cleaned a bit, and was about to start writing the paper and I checked the date - caused me to decide my biggest regret of all my life.

It is decided and I dont think that I will ever stop regreting it. In order to calm myself, I tried to think about the people that I met here since 2016, but I dont think that compansates or lets say “relevant” 

The biggest regret and the mistake of my life is: I should have stayed in Japan when it was asked me to do so in 2013, should have attended TIT between 2014 - 2017/8.

but what I did was to turn back because of a person who was in my life those times and also the worst relationship ever thus I just wanna erase all those 5 years. 

I lost time, effort, belief, confidence, happiness, friends in order to please that “thing” and the phsycological bullying that I was exposed to was incredible that I even was afraid to take an action to end it. 

A very beautiful morning with disgusting memories and thoughts.

Yet, it is so nice to have friends, who helped me to take an act to end it.

But the point is, whom he was had also affected my life as losing time on the first line - which is important than anything in life.

I am not sure if it worths to mention about “not trusting” anyone, expecting people think about me bad stuff all the time, or expecting people may threaten me with any thing that I do etc.

Yeah. it was an awesome asshole that threatened me many times when I wanted to end the relationship.

man.. I feel like someone’s choking me again and again and again whenever I think of those days.

I think I ll drink choco milk to calm myself first then take some concentration pills and start writing. otherwise, I will keep on writing about how I feel when sth reminds me those days and I dont wanna fork this day by spending on writing the tortures done by a forking person.

but you know what?

Never think that “people dont born with equal chances so you should try to understand them to show them the good.” because some people are just “bad” and it is not related with the family issues at all.

I didnt listen anyone around me who tried to stop me; but may be you should listen if you ll ever be experiencing something like this.

because the systematical psychological violence by a sociopath is one of the worst things on earth that you can experience. and when you save yourselves from that, it is never over for long time of years. the effects may be forever.

And howcome I cannot regret that I left japan in september 2013, instead of staying here, studying at tsukuba and tokyo and not being exposed to any  psychological violence and not losing anytime

think I am gonna cry dudies.

just an example: I do remember some scenes sometimes and altho they were harsher than the scene that I ll tell, none of them breaks me this much.. because I think it was something that was done to a friend by him, and I tried to stop but I couldnt.

we were at a bar, eating with friends.. and by chance one of the people sitting at the behind table turned out to be my friend from university. and I like (Still) her too much. we started speaking with her, and that sh*t  sitting next to me started laughing and giggling. I Was like (??) and my friend was like (??) also. so I told her, “well he is my boy friend XCY” then she wellcomed him with a huge smile and he behaved so arrogant that I was like (??what the fork??). then we finished the conversation.

as soon as I turned back to our table, he started making fun of her weight and body with a voice that she can hear. I was warning him but wasnt able to raise my voice because I didnt want her to hear it. but he kept doing that until I had to leave the place to stop it. and after that he came after me ans we started arguing and I was trying to tell him why he should not make fun of people’s outlooks.

Now what I think is, in order trying to educate him, I should have said “fork you” and left.

she probably heard it, we still are good friends but I had never the encourage to ask her if she had heard or not..

and you know what it doesnt matter if she heard or not .. the beavior is sick in any case.

and I really still am angry to myself that I didnt end it as soon as I saw a lot of signs like that.

You can never educate  person if their family couldnt already.

[eliashiebert]

Instrumental Soul

Rolled by: Me For: A., J., D. and the rest Late Summer 2018 TRT: 1h19m21s

There are a few instrumentals I’ve been putting on evry tape for years…Bar-Kays’ “Knucklehead”, Kool & The Gang’s “Street Corner Symphony” and Ike Turner’s “Funky Mule”.  For awhile I’ve been thinking about a mixtape of all instrumentals.  Normally I like making tapes that go off in all directions.  I don’t usually do themes, altho I think of a lot of them.  I have almost never done a tape of tunes from mostly just one genre.  I like this one a lot tho.  Maybe I’ll do more.  Settle down a bit, stop childishly trying to impress you with my hard lefts & flying leaps. 

Once I finally started, this tape came together super-quick.  It wasnt hard to find another hour of funky jazzy soul-ey instrumental toons.  I assumed, as you might, confronted with a mix calld Instrumental Soul, I’d eventually get around to some Booker T. and the M.G.’s.  Somehow, tho, they are not here…but their influence is defnilly present. 

I usually try to make my mixes fit on an old-school 74-minute ceedee…you know, just like the 9th Symphony.  I like to use the most restrictive definition, even tho I’ll ultimately be dumping it onto an 80-minute CDR.�� Or, these days I’d as soon keep it as file, but my friends they all still like getting the “physical” disk, don’t ask me why.  Anyway, this is all to say I broke that rule this time around.  I already weeded out a bunch of stuff I wanted to put in to get it under the 80 minute mark (yes I’m already planning a Part 2), and I didnt want to lose any more. 

Another thing I did different with this one is give the songs some room to breathe with a couple seconds of silence between each one instead of running them all together like I usually do. 

Here we go…. 

Roger & the Gypsies “Pass The Hatchet Pt. 1” Seven B 7001 (1966)

Happy hypnotic groover from New Orleans funkmaster Eddie Bo, a dude with really excellent hair.  Like a lot of what’s on here, he came to my attention originally thru Funky16Corners.  The original 45 costs mad cheddar but it’s on lotsa collections…various little indie N.O. funk comps and even the Desperado soundtrack.  I took it from Mojo’s “Southern Soul” disc.  I don’t think it’s on any of the main Eddie Bo collections, Funky Delicacies’ Funky Funky New Orleans or Vampisoul’s In The Pocket with Eddie Bo or etc.  It’d be nice if there were something truly comprehensive out there, but ya know. 

The J.B.’s “Pass The Peas” From Food For Thought (People 1972)

Maybe part of the reason the JB’s have been looped so often is that they sound like a loop to begin with.  No one can lock like they could.  Long solo from leader Fred Wesley…I love a good trombone solo, but the player has to have a fabulous tone and mad technique, both which of course the legendary Fred Wesley has by the bucketful.  What he doesnt have is the vocabulary of a jazz player—it’s pure funksoul; it stays inside its box.  You might find that a little repetitious after some 36 bars but I don’t care I don’t care.  Some organ in the background from the Creator himself.  I playfully referred to the instrument as the “pipes,” as in, “Is that James Brown on the pipes?” and Jen would not have it.  “It’s a Hammond organ!” she yelled, “There’s no pipes!!” 

Some of my sources for this tape are vintage elpees and some, like this one, are slightly suspect vinyl re-issues.  They look good but questions like Are they properly licensed? and Were they mastered from the original tapes or some inferior copy? are anyone’s guess.  I don’t know, it sounds good to me.  That’s how a lot of this type of material is available these days.  Many of these albums never got any official re-issues, digital or analog.  You can’t be too picky unless you want to lay out for first pressings. 

Dizzy Gillespie “Matrix” From The Real Thing (Perception 1970)

The jazz legend (is legend a strong enuf word?) ’s soul-flavord The Real Thing album gets my highest recommendation.  A heat rock if ever there was one.  You wanna hear Dizzy Gillespie and his fine collaborators blow over hard beats from a funky rhythm section?  Yes you do. 

Eddie Harris “Listen Here” From The Electrifying Eddie Harris (Atlantic 1968)

Some cool elevator jazz from the electric saxophonist once referenced in a Beastie Boys hit.  Is it fair to call it elevator music?  Does that term even mean anything other than an offhand dis?  When I say it, I’m talking about something specific, at least in my own head.  Elevator music, like disco, is something I wasnt supposed to like but which I now have a growing appreciation for.  Maybe I shud make a tape of all elevator music, like the stuff I used to hear at Kohl’s when I was a kid.  Maybe I’ll make it for my friend J. who likes to listen to the smooth jazz station when he’s hungover. 

This tune evokes a train moving underground, and it might inject some joy in yer commute if you put it in your headphones. 

J. C. Davis “A New Day (Is Here At Last)” New Day 1373 (1969), remixed and re-issued on A New Day! The Complete Mus-I-Col Recordings Of J. C. Davis (Cali-Tex 2005)

My brother A. put me on to this dude.  The saxophonist and bandleader (not to be confused with the other J. C. Davis who played guitar with Hank Ballard and the Midnighters) backed James Brown in the early 60s and around ’69 released a few singles on his own label.  Around ’05, Josh Davis AKA DJ Shadow went back to the studio in Columbus, Ohio, where those records were made and he remixed them “on the original mix board” because he’s the king of the nerds.  That irresistible smooth, slightly edgy sax sound crooning over haaard mutherfuckin drums begging to be sampled—and they have been!—with that cool 60s chickenwing funk guitar & organ. 

Tom Scott and the L.A. Express “Sneakin’ In The Back” Originally from their self-titled album (Ode/Epic 1974), later appearing on volume whatever of the Ultimate Breaks ’n’ beats (Street Beat 1990)

A little misterioso now.  This smoothie I got from my bootleg version of Lenny Roberts & Lou Flores’ collection of evry essential breakbeat ever.  No doubt Tom Scott & the L.A. Express would find their way to my elevator music tape too. 

Willie Bobo and the Bo-Gents “Do What You Want to Do” From Do What You Want To Do… (Sussex 1971)

Of course it was Larry who first introduced me to this album.  Try to be unhappy listnin to this sawng.  Try.  Classic example of that East Side salsa n soul I love. 

Freddie Hubbard “Backlash” From Backlash (Atlantic 1967)

Again, a great jazz artist doin’ a record in a funksoul-influenced style.  Freddie Hubbard is one of my favorite trumpet players, and this tune scorches. 

Bar-Kays “Knucklehead” The flip side of “Soul Finger”, Volt 168 (1967)

I bought the Soul Finger album (yet another suspect re-issue) becuz the title track is essential, but this hard hitter is my faverit tune on it.  The B side wins again! 

Dizzy Gillespie “Soul Kiss” From The Real Thing (Perception 1970)

Another tune from The Real Thing, a more frantic one, with kissy noises from the trumpet.  By the way, if you sound like this when you kiss, I’m pretty sure you arnt doing it right. 

The Mohawks “The Champ” Pama PM 719 (1968)

It’s called “Champ” but it sounds more like “tramp” a la Carla Thomas.  The band is doin’ the Booker T., and that screamin organ riff by Alan Hawkshaw (sampled many, many times of course) over top of it is un dee nigh uh bull. 

Zap-Pow “Soul Revival” Jaywax 45 (1974?). Also on the album Revolutionary (Roosevelt 1976?), but most likely to be found on the compilation Funky Kingston: Reggae Dance Floor Grooves 1968–74 (Trojan 2002)

Another gem brought to my attn by Funky16Corners.  Heard it on the blog and had to run out right away and buy the comp just for one song.  Probably the tightest record on here next to the JB’s.  Usually filed as reggae due to its place of origin, but this is str8 funksoul. 

Kool & The Gang “Street Corner Symphony” From Light Of Worlds (De-Lite 1974)

I love it when Kool & The Gang does their fake jazz thing.  Got soul-jazz from both sides of the fence on here.  At the end the sax quotes “My Favorite Things” (a nod to Trane I assume) which always cracks me up. 

Ike Turner & the Kings Of Rhythm “Funky Mule” From A Black Man’s Soul (Pompeii 1969)

Ike & Tina Turner made a lot of really cool records and a lot of mediocre ones (and I wish I knew which was which), and these days they are scattered across a hundred seedy bargain compilation ceedees.  The act has never been anthologized properly, maybe due to Ike’s reputation (which I’m sure is well-deserved…recent attempts to rehabilitate him kind of piss me off…tho also irritating is the popular image of him as a cartoonish monster, mostly due to the movie, which even Tina said didnt happen like that.  Evrybody does good and bad things in their life.  The good things don’t take away the bad things and vice versa, and you can dig music with eyes open to the fact that some of the ones who made it were not cool people).  I pickt up one such random comp choosing it mostly for the title: I Smell Trouble!!! (yes with three exclamation points !).  It included this hard funk instrumental that cracked my head open wit a axe.  It’s one of those songs where they just crammd in evry badass riff they could think of.  Again, hard, hard muthafuckin drums, driving horns growling and belching smoke, funkee geetar, a busy bassline dancing underneath it all.  Wish I knew who the players were but no credits given. 

Dr. Octagon “Bear Witness” From Dr. Octagonecologyst (Bulk 1996)

Dr Octagonecologyst is a goofball boom-bap classic.  I remember hearing Blue Flowers on AMP.  For a while that was the best or one of the only good things on MTV, and it turnd me on to a lot of cool stuff.  This instrumental showcases DJ Q-Bert’s scratching and a bevy of funky breaks.  The sampled battlecry, “Creating rap music ’cause I never dug disco” sure sounds like Chuck D (thanks to some processing) but it’s actually an obsure MC from the 80s called 4-Ever Fresh.  Automator and a supercrew of DJ/producers including Prince Paul & Shadow would revisit this track a few years later on Handsome Boy Modeling School’s equally classic first album. 

James Brown “Spinning Wheel” From Sex Machine (King 1970)

James Brown’s mellow organ version of Blood, Sweat & Tears’ Spinnin Wheel is an unsung classic. 

Bill Doggett “Honky Tonk Pt. 2” King 4950 (1956)

Long ago, my former coworker K. turnd me on to Bill Doggett and this much-coverd happy, handclapping, sax-driven early rocknroll hit.  I took it from this comp. 

Doc Bagby “Crazy Chemistry” Okeh 4-7098 (1958)

My good, good friend M. once gave me, for my birthday maybe, when I was like 20, a big stack of 45s from his own collection.  I still prize them to this day.  This was one.  Demented carnival music with Wurlitzer organ and bouncy guitar. 

The 45 King “Get Funky” On The Lost Breakbeats Volume 1 & 2 (The Yellow Album) (45 King Records 1983)

Super duper beat maker the 45 King.  Lotsa gems on this collection, which I got on bootleg download. 

Hugh Masekela “Grazing In The Grass” From The Promise of a Future (Universal City 1968)

It’s a gas.  The original, instrumental version by South African trumpet player Hugh Masekela.  Only 2 anna half minutes.  Supposedly recorded just to fill time on the album.  Huge hit.  Gotta have more cowbell, more overdriven brass, more POP! 

The Meters “Sophisticated Cissy” Josie 1001 (1968), the band’s first single I think. Also on The Meters

Aww, such a badass slow groove, makes you say “UH!”  KRS-One and Scott LaRock sampled this on “Essays On BDP-ism”, a very cool record made just before Scott LaRock’s death in 1987 and unreleased until 2000.  I’m surpised it hasnt been sampled more.  Great way to come in for the close. 

Ray Charles “Doodlin’” From The Great Ray Charles

Ray Charles and his associates do a sweet version of the Horace Silver tune, with a muted trumpet by John Hunt and tenor sax David Newman.  I was first introduced to Ray Charles’s jazz material and this tune in particular via a tape in my brother’s car he was way into around, oh, twenty years ago.  A tape he got from his friend G. probably.  Ray Charles made a couplefew jazz albums.  Highlights from them appear on this odd artifact, with its yellow cover and monochrome portrait that looks like a zeerox.  With a title like The Best of Ray Charles, you might expect material like “What’d I Say” and “Georgia” rather than 6 instrumental jazz tunes.  Nevertheless it is highly recommended. 

Boom!