#altershit

[anarchivalsystem]

Why did no one tell me Neocities was making a comeback??? Saw @interstellarsystem 's site & it's so much cleaner than Rentry or Carrd - the HTML takes me back to my hs days of making my little fansites...

Totally yanked the free template from Interstellar's credits but working on making it us-coded. Just wish I could figure out how to do drop-down menus in the nav bar... But we're still so excited; we've been using TH which is great for non-fictive headmates/alters but anything that even smells like it resembles a copyrighted character gets locked/deleted so fast.

Speaking of TH, sorta, have a couple critters one of our Littles colored. Original base by our friend Krizpie.

[anartchivalsystem]

A year later almost to the day & finally we update. Art has been... Difficult. Nova has been lovely inspiration, however, we love when she is in co-front with just about anyone else.

[anarchivalsystem]

me fr

the no.1 princess in the world 🍰🍮♥︎₊˚⊹｡୨୧˚⋆

[anarchivalsystem]

System life is: Arrives in this transmasc body a cis male excited the body wants top surgery, becomes a CORE member of the system who fronts at least every other day & handles most singlet presenting tasks for 2 years. Awesome, cool.

Oh, wait.

I'm transfemme.

Now we aren't sure if we want top surgery anymore when we've wanted this for over a decade. x_x It's nice that my feelings mean so much to the system, but I don't want to discourage us. Doesn't help that we've never so much as broken a bone or gotten worse than a few stitches, so this would be our first proper surgical procedure ever. That... Is terrifying. I'm so impressed & proud of our ex & our current partner for getting it done. I just. I don't want us using my preference for keeping them to feed our fears, either...

[puppetmastery]

im just thinking about that shit now. like i was the one making all the money for that house despite not being on the lease and working at a mcdonalds for 11 bucks an hour. he had too many animals. 2 cats, a quail in a tank, like 4 different bird species in a cage sized for a single bird, a snake (that was mine for a bit), two pigeons on the porch, and a tank full of guppies. the birds were loud constantly and it made it hard to sleep. there were fursuit scraps and all kinds of colorful junk everywhere. things were dirty unless i cleaned them. i had to walk or bike everywhere for miles in 110+ weather, including to get groceries usually. coming home from a busy mcdonalds closing shift to a loud dirty house in an apartment where i didnt even have a bedroom for the first several months. no wonder my shit cracked like an egg for a while there

[xwhitewolfv]

The Best Quotes (In Context and Out of Context) of 2021

Quotes from friends, family and the Internet that I found amusing this year.

Quotes part of the same conversation are grouped together with a [  ]. 

-----

- “In the BENNINGING” *vine boom sound effect*

- “This rather large named person”

- “I think I’ve actually forgotten how short and tiny and elf like you are”

- *LOUD COUGH* “So the weather...amirite?”

- “Do you have any last words? Ha Just kiddi-” *DIES*

- “Alright shitheads lets go”

- “Pffft, it’s from a woman” *tosses imaginary book in the air* 

- “get ready for the ding ding” 

- “wanna give me a bowel transplant 🥺🥺💩👉👈”

- “Somebody needs to turn their fucking reverb down”

- “WHeeRE ArE YooU KiiiNg JuLIaAAAAAAaaAn”

- “It's polluting my ear things..my ear- what did you call it? Eardrums”

- “I got no dirt to fill the holes with”

- “There's this one where they look like aliens and he is kissing them”

- “Thas pretty Khepresh”

- [ “Oh I wish I was apart of that royal family” 

“Oh yeah the King married his daughter-” 

“Oh, not that royal family” ]

- “She drippin’”

- “I want pickles”

- “omg that was so funny I had a caesar”

- “the human centipede is the new shakespeare”

- “Ugh, you’re so boring” **murders entire family** 

- “Mr Bungle”

- “I have command block in my ribcage”

- [ “I’m iron deficient what slurs can I say?”

“Vitamin? More like vita-non” ]

- “I would like to inquire on what the canine companion is currently partaking in?”

- “How the bling blong?”

- “It’s kind of loose and sticky”

- *Looks up to the ceiling, woefully yelling* “BARNABY”

- “Spingle”

- “I’m just sitting here….at your service...notice me”

- “Smeng meng”

- “The Grand Mufti...He created mufti day”

- “I did so much today. I got a girlfriend, proposed and eloped, moved in with her, then killed her brother by drowning him in the pool. Redecorated the bathroom. It was great”

- “Now I'm just lying here and I’m really angry…..and FULL of caffeine”

- “Can you not have the disco lights on while we pray?”

- [ “Do u know stigmar?”

“Who stigmar”

“...Is this one of those ligma things I swear to God-”

“Stigmar balls in yo mouth” ]

- “I’m the best vroomer”

- [ “I drive trains” 

“Is it fun?” 

“Well, a lot of people are trying to jump in front of them at the moment..” ]

- “I’m a Spartan man, like what do you want from me? I just go to the shopping mall and kill helots”

- “Can we pretend like airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?”

- [ “Babies removed via c-section isn’t birth but a release date”

 “nahh, we were removed”

 “-like a parasite” ]

- “She’s dead now, BUT-”

- “I always take a pic of myself mid mental breakdown for the crying album I have with myself 🤞”

- “That’s a pain in the CRACK” 

- “Pigeon Poo”

- “Glady the Baddy”

- “Haha big boi cling clang”

- “I’m sticking to the Jews”

- “Omg who gave Kermit a gun?”

- “Happy removal day, tumour baby”

- “Diony(SUS)”

- [ “I live in your walls”

“That’s so emo” ]

- “Helo i am Justin Beiber i want to See you at your house for a FREE concert !! bUt, i lost my Credit Card please pay me $5000 so i can come to your house for a FREE concert !!”

- “The sun was SHINING out of her ass”

- “-but the Tay sach was ok”

- “MMM ah yes the floor looks very floor today” 

- “Speaking of vatos👯‍♂️; Flaco🕴, I'm still holding it down 🙇‍♀️for you boo👅💋. Ey but when you get out 🚶‍♂️of la pinta 🏢🥷, I'll be holding it up🙋‍♀️🙆‍♀️👀. So anyways, not to be a sucia🗑🤢, but anyways-”

- “I literally will deport you”

- “Alternate? more like altershit 😎” *Immediately gets killed*

- “I wanna grill and chill”

- “And you don’t seem to-” *Proceeds to sing the entirety of Boa’s Duvet*

- “Even in a hurricane of frowns I’ll know that we’ll be safe and sound DOOT DO DOOTDOOTO DO-” *Proceeds to sing the entirety of safe sound*

- “🎤sawarasenai🥰kimi😸wa⛓shoujo👻na💅no?✨böKù🌸Wâ🧚ÿARiçHiñ🤴BįCChī😾ńO😩oSû🚣Dà🎉YO💦”

- “I need my files waltened right now-”

- “The word ‘British People’ is an oxymoron”

- “If lockdown don’t finna end soon the bats aren’t gonna be the only thing hanging from the powerlines-”

- “Hi my name is Disney Channel and you’re watching ‘I wanna die, fuck you’”

- “Hello! How was the porn?”

- “Does God have an asshole?”

- “Pravosmukalka”

- [ “God I just know I did so shit in that exam”

“...Do you want head?” ]

- “I’ve got the Jesus in the car don’t worry”

- “I’m going to vaccinate you against puberty”

- “Don’t👏 believe👏 everything👏 you 👏see 👏online 👏women don’t actually get periods , now...who wants to prove me wrong with a pic? ☺️❤️”

- “The Black-eyed Priest? He’s got that boom-boom.. Pray”

- [ “So what if you’re good at angles”

“That was so unrelated wha-”

“YOUR MUM” ]

- “We are a rare bunch, us emos. Our species is dying”

- “You’ve become the multiple choice lady now”

- “we can share our bowels like the human centipede 😜🥰”

- “The Farton Files”

- “HSC ENGLISH MODULE 1 QUESTION: Explain how Death Grips has conveyed a unique human experience through their song Inanimate Sensation”

- “I 🥡 sank 😀 to 😁 the 🦾 floor🦽 completely 🏪 dazed 🥴 my 🌅 dad 🧑‍🔧 was 😍...gay? 💝 my 🔆 dad Ⓜ️ was 😜 gay 🏳️‍🌈”

- [ “What are your pronouns? I want to talk shit on you-”

- “Never talk about me. I don’t exist”]

- “Meet me AtT oUR SpooOt, caUghT a ViBe, babY lamnenokudobai lemenzndzzn-”

--------

[anarchivalsystem]

tfw ur 8 'n frontstuck but youstill gota go towork

this is fine

this is fine

[hirs666]

#hirs #hirs666 #AlterShit

[anarchivalsystem]

11: This has such Tim energy.

Our Tim: YEAH IT DOES!.

[anarchivalsystem]

Well, our SP is as up-to-date as it can be since a few fictives have been dragging heels on making proxies - mostly ones who weren't adults in canon but are in-system - so if anyone wants to add us, we're ArchivalSystem there & on Discord. Discord spoons are lower but still.

Someone's been having fun making everyone cute custom profiles though & I figured I'd show them off!

A couple of notes:

1. ED Mention warning on the first; symptom-holder.

2. We are aware AngelDust is canonically gay; ours still IDs that way but "didn't exactly plan on falling for any broads, shit happens."

3. If you add us on SP please note our Valentino alter goes by Valentìne & is NOT CANON. They are canon-divergent & never abused anyone - they behaved that way publicly to support the Vees' image but took proper care of those working for them. Please be mindful if talking to them; they are very sweet.

4. All Littles & Middles are in a tagged folder; mind that when interacting! We haven't put all their specific ages in yet.

Going to work on a proper system intro shortly.

[anarchivalsystem]

We reached out for help on Reddit & now our apartment isn't full of trash anymore. It's a nice feeling. The body is... Still adjusting to how disabled we're becoming as we age. It's hard not to feel like we didn't do enough despite our partners insisting we have.

For me in particular, honestly. I'm not used to feeling this human anymore. This... Weak. It's frustrating.

[anarchivalsystem]

Tonight in fictives we did not anticipate showing up:

Fucking hi, Siren Head. What the fuck???

[anarchivalsystem]

So Mahtin is getting a fursona, then. xD

Everyone pick up your government-assigned fursona, grab your two colors then combine it with this random animal picker. Tell us what you get and no rerolls, I don't make the rules.

[anarchivalsystem]

System life is Sebastian Stardew & Valentinè (transfemme good!AU Hazbin Valentino) arguing about who's working tonight.

[anarchivalsystem]

Some days are full of introspection & self-analysis & really deep in-system talks.

Other days you have a formerly dead angel running through frontspsce screaming that he is the Dickmaster Jizzlord while you're trying to work on owed art.

Three guesses which today is.

[anarchivalsystem]

Generally whoever fell asleep in front wakes up, but if we know someone specific has something to do upon wakeup HAL usually has an in-system alarm set for them so they can get there before the body wakes up.

...Not fun when the alarm misfires & the body wakes up mid-sleep cycle, but that's thankfully rare.

Now who else has different SNORES based on who's fronting when you sleep?

Have a fun little plural poll I thought of!

Not for anything specific, tbh just our own curiosity and a fun time with polls ^^