#alt meta

[chekhovs-tantrum]

Re: lack of AtN news:

I am noticing a lot of snarking at Tor (swipes in Tor's comments, general moaning in tags) regarding lack of Alecto cover or release date — and don't get me wrong, I am starving for news too —

but uhh does pressuring Tor mean they go and pressure Taz, or the cover artist? My understanding is that Taz has some diagnoses that might make things hard for her at times, and my assumption is that if AtN is taking extra long, it's because everyone's working hard to make sure she sticks the landing.

I don't know the politics of publishing, but I know everyone making money off this books wants to drop this book, because capitalism. So if there's no release date... isn't it likely that someone is dealing with shit (Taz, or an editor, idk), and needs a little more time to perfect the masterpiece we all love?

Yes I want more Alecto content, yes I want to snarf up everything this brain wizard writes and chew on it like corn string stuck in my teeth. But I never want my love of an artist's content to come at the expense of that artist's mental health or general wellness.

[violetisderp]

I have quite afew comics for ya'll :]

By quite agew I mean 2- this is one of them👌 that took me afew months to draw. But was based off of a convo me and a friend had with our hc.

Meta derp Mets alt meta

Alt meta below to; ThatMeta

On yt she dosnt have tumbler :>

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[blitzwhore]

Never forget that in this moment we don't just hear the first note of Stolas Speaks (Stolas' theme song). We also hear the click of a camera as it takes a photograph.

And, sure, this makes sense, because dozens of reporters are documenting this moment, and more clicks can be heard moments later as Stolas is taken into the hospital.

But the reason we hear a click right at the same time as Blitz sees Stolas' feathers is the same reason time suddenly slows down for a split second. It's because this moment, this instant of realisation, is etching itself in Blitz's mind, and he will never forget it.

It's the moment he realises he's failed Stolas.

He's failed to show up. Failed to protect him. Failed to be there when Stolas needed him.

Just the same way he failed Fizz, and his mom, and Barbie. All moments that have haunted him for 15 years. Their photo going up in flames in his mind, over and over again every time he remembers the accident. And now this photo, too, will be tangible proof in his mind that he is doomed, that he is tainted. That he can't stop failing the ones he loves. That he will always make things worse.

He will never forgive himself for failing Stolas. It will never not haunt him a little bit. And, hopefully, he will never, ever let it happen again.

[demon-country]

These two pictures absolutely kill me. Stolas is only 17, 18, or 19 in these photos. He is so, so fucking young to be having a baby. There are many parents who have kids at that age that deeply regret it, because raising a child is hard and severely limits your ability to go out and experience life the same way that your peers are. There are also many people who are forced into arranged marriages and pressured into having children as soon as possible that just cannot connect well with said children (Stella seems to fall into this category).

But not Stolas. He loves that little baby with his entire heart and soul. Even though he seems exhausted in that first picture (which, duh, she's a newborn, they're exhausting to take care of, especially for first time parents), he is holding her so tenderly and looks like he loves her so much he could cry. And in that second picture she is maybe 1 year old, and he looks like the happiest person alive. She is his everything. She is the tiny, adorable pocket of joy in his dark, painful, lonely world. She is the only thing that's even worth living for.

He loves her so, so fucking much, and it's completely baffling to me that anyone who isn't an emotionally compromised teenager could look at all of the photos he has with her and say that just because he has made a few mistakes lately and has split his attention to make room for someone else, that he's a bad, neglectful father. There is no one, not even Blitz, who could match the sheer depth of love he has for her. Blitz is his light, but Octavia means everything to him (to a previously kind of unhealthy, codependent degree actually, but that's a little beside the point and at least he's never tried to parentify her or make her play therapist for him despite that).

Just look at those pictures! Just look at them, and tell me honestly that he doesn't love her and thinks of her as solely an obligation. Octavia's feelings of abandonment and belief that he doesn't love her make sense, because she lacks a lot of the context that we have and her life got several major upheavals within the last two years, in addition to having preexisting abandonment issues that color her perception of the situation and a mother who was actively sabotaging his attempts to contact her for a month. But we, the audience, should see those pictures for what they are: a very young man who loves his child deeply, despite having never been demonstrably loved before; who is tender and playful with her, despite having never been shown that same tenderness or playfulness with anyone but debatably Blitz as a child. And the fact that she looks so happy as well is a very good indicator that he is the kind of loving, attentive, and secure parent she needed.

[lazylittledragon]

just realised i never posted any of the stuff i did for the alternative steddie dads au

[cuddlytogas]

So I accidentally almost got into an argument on Twitter, and now I'm thinking about bad historical costuming tropes. Specifically, Action Hero Leather Pants.

See, I was light-heartedly pointing out the inaccuracies of the costumes in Black Sails, and someone came out of the woodwork to defend the show. The misunderstanding was that they thought I was dismissing the show just for its costumes, which I wasn't - I was simply pointing out that it can't entirely care about material history (meaning specifically physical objects/culture) if it treats its clothes like that.

But this person was slightly offended on behalf of their show - especially, quote, "And from a fan of OFMD, no less!" Which got me thinking - it's true! I can abide a lot more historical costuming inaccuracy from Our Flag than I can Black Sails or Vikings. And I don't think it's just because one has my blorbos in it. But really, when it comes down to it...

What is the difference between this and this?

Here's the thing. Leather pants in period dramas isn't new. You've got your Vikings, Tudors, Outlander, Pirates of the Caribbean, Once Upon a Time, Will, The Musketeers, even Shakespeare in Love - they love to shove people in leather and call it a day. But where does this come from?

Obviously we have the modern connotations. Modern leather clothes developed in a few subcultures: cowboys drew on Native American clothing. (Allegedly. This is a little beyond my purview, I haven't seen any solid evidence, and it sounds like the kind of fact that people repeat a lot but is based on an assumption. I wouldn't know, though.) Leather was used in some WWI and II uniforms.

But the big boom came in the mid-C20th in motorcycle, punk/goth, and gay subcultures, all intertwined with each other and the above. Motorcyclists wear leather as practical protective gear, and it gets picked up by rock and punk artists as a symbol of counterculture, and transferred to movie designs. It gets wrapped up in gay and kink communities, with even more countercultural and taboo meanings. By the late C20th, leather has entered mainstream fashion, but it still carries those references to goths, punks, BDSM, and motorbike gangs, to James Dean, Marlon Brando, and Mick Jagger. This is whence we get our Spikes and Dave Listers in 1980s/90s media, bad boys and working-class punks.

And some of the above "historical" design choices clearly build on these meanings. William Shakespeare is dressed in a black leather doublet to evoke the swaggering bad boy artist heartthrob, probably down on his luck. So is Kit Marlowe.

But the associations get a little fuzzier after that. Hook, with his eyeliner and jewellery, sure. King Henry, yeah, I see it. It's hideously ahistorical, but sure. But what about Jamie and Will and Ragnar, in their browns and shabby, battle-ready chic? Well, here we get the other strain of Bad Period Drama Leather.

See, designers like to point to history, but it's just not true. Leather armour, especially in the western/European world, is very, very rare, and not just because it decays faster than metal. (Yes, even in ancient Greece/Rome, despite many articles claiming that as the start of the leather armour trend!) It simply wasn't used a lot, because it's frankly useless at defending the body compared to metal. Leather was used as a backing for some splint armour pieces, and for belts, sheathes, and buckles, but it simply wasn't worn like the costumes above. It's heavy, uncomfortable, and hard to repair - it's simply not practical for a garment when you have perfectly comfortable, insulating, and widely available linen, wool, and cotton!

As far as I can see, the real influence on leather in period dramas is fantasy. Fantasy media has proliferated the idea of leather armour as the lightweight choice for rangers, elves, and rogues, a natural, quiet, flexible material, less flashy or restrictive than metal. And it is cheaper for a costume department to make, and easier for an actor to wear on set. It's in Dungeons and Dragons and Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Runescape, and World of Warcraft.

And I think this is how we get to characters like Ragnar and Vane. This idea of leather as practical gear and light armour, it's fantasy, but it has this lineage, behind which sits cowboy chaps and bomber/flight jackets. It's usually brown compared to the punk bad boy's black, less shiny, and more often piecemeal or decorated. In fact, there's a great distinction between the two Period Leather Modes within the same piece of media: Robin Hood (2006)! Compare the brooding, fascist-coded villain Guy of Gisborne with the shabby, bow-wielding, forest-dwelling Robin:

So, back to the original question: What's the difference between Charles Vane in Black Sails, and Edward Teach in Our Flag Means Death?

Simply put, it's intention. There is nothing intentional about Vane's leather in Black Sails. It's not the only leather in the show, and it only says what all shabby period leather says, relying on the same tropes as fantasy armour: he's a bad boy and a fighter in workaday leather, poor, flexible, and practical. None of these connotations are based in reality or history, and they've been done countless times before. It's boring design, neither historically accurate nor particularly creative, but much the same as all the other shabby chic fighters on our screens. He has a broad lineage in Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean and such, but that's it.

In Our Flag, however, the lineage is much, much more intentional. Ed is a direct homage to Mad Max, the costuming in which is both practical (Max is an ex-cop and road warrior), and draws on punk and kink designs to evoke a counterculture gone mad to the point of social breakdown, exploiting the thrill of the taboo to frighten and titillate the audience.

In particular, Ed is styled after Max in the second movie, having lost his family, been badly injured, and watched the world turn into an apocalypse. He's a broken man, withdrawn, violent, and deliberately cutting himself off from others to avoid getting hurt again. The plot of Mad Max 2 is him learning to open up and help others, making himself vulnerable to more loss, but more human in the process.

This ties directly into the themes of Our Flag - it's a deliberate intertext. Ed's emotional journey is also one from isolation and pain to vulnerability, community, and love. Mad Max (intentionally and unintentionally) explores themes of masculinity, violence, and power, while Max has become simplified in the popular imagination as a stoic, badass action hero rather than the more complex character he is, struggling with loss and humanity. Similarly, Our Flag explores masculinity, both textually (Stede is trying to build a less abusive pirate culture) and metatextually (the show champions complex, banal, and tender masculinities, especially when we're used to only seeing pirates in either gritty action movies or childish comedies).

Our Flag also draws on the specific countercultures of motorcycles, rockers, and gay/BDSM culture in its design and themes. Naturally, in such a queer show, one can't help but make the connection between leather pirates and leather daddies, and the design certainly nods at this, with its vests and studs. I always think about this guy, with his flat cap so reminiscient of gay leather fashions.

More overtly, though, Blackbeard and his crew are styled as both violent gangsters and countercultural rockstars. They rove the seas like a bikie gang, free and violent, and are seen as icons, bad boys and celebrities. Other pirates revere Blackbeard and wish they could be on his crew, while civilians are awed by his reputation, desperate for juicy, gory details.

This isn't all of why I like the costuming in Our Flag Means Death (especially season 1). Stede's outfits are by no means accurate, but they're a lot more accurate than most pirate media, and they're bright and colourful, with accurate and delightful silks, lace, velvets, and brocades, and lovely, puffy skirts on his jackets. Many of the Revenge crew wear recognisable sailor's trousers, and practical but bright, varied gear that easily conveys personality and flair. There is a surprising dedication to little details, like changing Ed's trousers to fall-fronts for a historical feel, Izzy's puffy sleeves, the handmade fringe on Lucius's red jacket, or the increasing absurdity of navy uniform cuffs between Nigel and Chauncey.

A really big one is the fact that they don't shy away from historical footwear! In almost every example above, we see the period drama's obsession with putting men in skinny jeans and bucket-top boots, but not only does Stede wear his little red-heeled shoes with stockings, but most of his crew, and the ordinary people of Barbados, wear low boots or pumps, and even rough, masculine characters like Pete wear knee breeches and bright colours. It's inaccurate, but at least it's a new kind of inaccuracy, that builds much more on actual historical fashions, and eschews the shortcuts of other, grittier period dramas in favour of colour and personality.

But also. At least it fucking says something with its leather.

[veinsfullofstars]

💙 MetaDede Week 2024 Day 1: Sworn Partners (Free Day) 💜

(ID: Kirby series fanart, four-panel comic, of Meta Knight being exhausted and King Dedede offering a solution. Transcript in Alt Text. END ID.)

Partially inspired by this post by @das-a-kirby-blog.

Next Day | Prompt List (made by @mtddweek)

Started 07/31/24, finished 08/05/24.

[gammija]

joking aside, while jonny, alex and tim fearon are all credited as [ERROR], the casting image clearly has different garbled text for all of them. So it seems like [ERROR] is something like a status condition, though how exactly you get it... dimension-hopping? avatarhood? being a computer and/or tape recorder? who knows

[eshithepetty]

This moment makes me crazyyyyy like. It makes me so sad. Mob's number one fear (after actually hurting people) is people being scared of him. His Loved ones being scared of him. And now Dimple, someone who he considers a dear friend, appears to be feeling just that.... Idk. It just makes me so sad, dude. This is a combination of all of Mob's trauma: loneliness, rejection, having to hurt the people he loves, scaring the people he loves..... man. It's just.. woof. It's rough.

This moment also...

HE SO DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS DUDE. HE KNOWWWS HOW DANGEROUS HE CAN BE WHEN HE GETS EMOTIONAL, AND DIMPLE IS PUSHING ALLL HIS BUTTONS. BUT HE STILL DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HIM!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO DESTROY SOMEONE HE CONSIDERS A FRIEND!!! FUCK THIS STUPID BAKA LIFE

[relaxxattack]

people will really write rose as a badass girlboss as if her main character trait isn’t hubris. as if her main story arc wasn’t her fucking things over for everyone time and time again by assuming she was better and wiser. oh you think rose is a girlboss? rose who intentionally allowed herself to be corrupted by morally ambiguous terrors because she thought it might give her a slight mental advantage on the game? rose who willingly went along with the manipulation of a groomer because she thought his idea of putting a tumor into the universe was smart? THAT rose? that rose??? why don’t you ask her where the green sun is. since she’s such a competent and intelligent boss bitch

[xetlynn]

I had an idea for claggor with a reader who is basically Gordon Ramsey. LMAO, I mean, she's like a 5 star michelin chef/baker type. She can make delicious meals out of scratch and cheap ingredients (maybe she works with Jericho, and that's how they met ???👀) your claggor work is so amazing. I'd love to see what you do with this!!

arcane imagines- claggor

my personal chef

[arcane] [main page]

prompt: Claggor is helping you set up yours and Jericho’s new restaurant

“Clag, help!” You grit through your teeth as you were on a ladder, trying to hold up a heavy box that was slipping off of the shelf. “Babe!” You cry, his head pops up from underneath the counter as he was currently trying to fix an electrical problem. But seeing you in distress he automatically rushes to your side. 

“I told you to wait, [Name].” He frowns, holding the box so you can climb back down. He steps up, pushing the box back up. “I got impatient.” You sheepishly look away from him. He places his hands on his hips, towering over you. “Well, listen to me next time please.” He sighs, giving you a disappointed look to which you smile. “Sorry, babe.” You stand on your tiptoes and peck his lips. 

“Mhm, you’re going to not listen to me again so your sorry means nothing to me.” He heads back over to the counter, getting back to what he was doing. “Mm, you’re right.” You nod your head, eyeing that box with a hateful glare. 

The two of you were fixing up an old shop and turning it into a small restaurant. You used to work for Jericho and he’s branching his own business out. Since he trusts you he decided to make you a co-owner for this place. 

And here you are. You truly enjoyed working and cooking for Jericho. He practically took you under his wing. He showed you everything you knew. Then you learned your own tricks. Making food exciting and fun. You love it and so you took pride in now working for yourself and co-owning a place like this with Jericho. 

“You hungry?” You hum out to your boyfriend. Going to your walk-in fridge that barely had anything in it yet. “If you’re cooking.” Claggor responds, not looking over to you. “Well, it’s definitely not going to be you who’s cooking. You’ve burnt bread before.” You tease him as you pull out multiple ingredients. “Plus I want to make a few things off of the new menu, get your opinion.” You tell him. 

“First off, rude. You distracted me. Second, I’d love to share my opinion.” He points a finger at you, looking back to the cords that stuck out. He was trying to figure out how to place them back in the wall or tape them up so it wasn’t such a fire-hazard. “You’re obsessed with me, not my fault. And I knew you would. I love cooking for you.” You sing as you prep out the food along with the oven and stove. 

“You’re my girlfriend, of course I’m obsessed with you.” He rolls his eyes, muttering a small yes under his breath when he finally deciphers how to place the stupid bunch of wires. 

“Mm, if you say so.” You chuckle, beginning to chop up the vegetables on a small cutting board. “I’m missing a few things so if these don’t turn out good it’s not my fault.” You notified him, you were slightly disappointed because you wanted him to truly know the things that are going on the menu.

 “It’s okay, hun. I’ll probably still like it.” He stands up, walking up behind you, admiring you in your element. He loved watching you cook or bake. The focused expression that adorned your face, how natural it all looked on you. It made him happy that you had something so dear to you that’s also your career. 

“I feel your eyes burning me.” You comment, peering at him through your peripheral vision. He grins. “Sorry.” He snakes his hands onto your hips. Kissing the back of your head. You leaned back into him while still cutting up the food. The two of you didn’t hear the front door open, a large man entering and checking everything out. He sits on the counter stool, smacking the counter. “Ahem, I’d like to order!” His voice booms, startling the both of you. 

“Jericho!” The two of you announce and you laugh. “Too bad, old man. We ain’t open yet.” You “inform” him and he snickers. “No exception for the elderly?” 

“We hate the elderly.” You joke and he gasps, clutching his chest. “Wow. What a ruthless one you are. I’m starting to question my decision.” He says, causing the three of you to laugh. “I’m actually making some food off the new menu if you want to try it when I’m done?” You offer, showing off the cutting board behind you. 

He waves his hand. “No need, I just wanted to check in. Seems like everything is on track for opening day.” He sits proudly, and you nod your head. “Alrighty, it was nice seeing you!” You come out from the counter and pull him into an embrace. “You as well, little one.” He gruffs. “Can’t believe how grown you two are.” He breathes out, feeling sentimental at the sight of the two of you. He had been feeding Vander’s kids for years and you, he hired you at the young age of 13 since he was friends with your mother. You wanted a job to help out at home and he figured it couldn’t hurt to put you to work. Your mom hesitantly agreed to it and ever since the two of you have been as thick as thieves. 

It then led you to meet Claggor. The love of your life. He got to watch your whole love story unfold. 

“Crazy, I remember when [Named] gushed and fawned over you at 16 and now the two of you are practically married.” He dramatically says, purposely messing with you. You hit his arm with knitted eyebrows. “It was lovely seeing you, Jer. Don’t you think it’s time to go now?” You look down at you watch that graced your wrist and he cackles, hitting your back with such force. 

“Alright, alright. See the two of you later.” He smiles, looking over to Claggor who waves goodbye. “Nice seeing you, Jericho.” 

“You as well.” He huffs as he’s getting shoved out by you. “Get out of here.” You spat, slamming the door behind him, locking it as well. You huff, crossing your arms. Claggor smirks at you from behind the counter. Raising a brow your way to which you flip him off. “Don’t even.” You warn him, heading back over to the food. 

He puts his hands up in defense. “Wasn’t even going to say anything.” He denies it and you scoff. Not believing him. “I mean, you gushed over me at 16… who would want to talk about that.” He jokes and you let out a loud groan. “Shut up or you’re not eating my food!” You threaten. 

“Anything but that, your food is like a piece of heaven I don’t think I could live without.” He clasps his hands together, pretending to plead with your empty threat. You press your lips together trying not to smile. 

Claggor sits at one of the booths you had cleaned off for the both of you. He gently taps on the table as he waits for you like he was told to. You wanted to serve him the food the correct way. On a tray and everything as you come out. “I took a small bite, definitely not how it’s supposed to be but I think you’ll still enjoy it.” You tell him as you place the plates on the table. He gawks at how delicious everything looks. 

“Sure.” He tucks a napkin on the collar of his shirt. His mouth watering just by the sight of your food. You were always anxious about the things you cook or bake. Never having the right ingredients because honestly you couldn’t afford them. Nevertheless it always turns out amazing so Claggor never understood your fear. 

You plop on the booth across from him. Your gaze observing him as he takes his first bite. You gnaw on your bottom lip, nervous. He lets out a loud moan, adding emphasis on it. Sort of exaggerating his reaction but not really. 

“[Name], you’ve done it again. You literally can’t leave me.” He grabs your hand, looking sincerely in your eyes and your face heats up. “I don’t plan on leaving you but good to know I can’t specifically because of my cooking skills.” You playfully roll your eyes, digging into the food as well. 

“You know that’s not the only reason… just the main one.” He takes another bite while squeezing your hand. “You’re stupid, Claggor.” You take your hand to your side as he makes kissy lips your way. 

[violetisderp]

My silly's <3

Paws :3

Alt meta belons to @that-meta

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

Sir Meteor has crashed onto Popstar for a special event!

>> He is joining the @kirbyoctournament ! >> If you want his ref click here !

Meteor is answering asks! Start here to see his adventures :D

“The planet I’m from has many different names from Terra to Shiver Star—but long before it had a name, I appeared in a flash of light. Or so my mother said…”

✨Sir Meteor would love to interact with other participants!

✨He thinks himself as a dinosaur, and disagreeing with him will get him to dislike you. Kids are often ESTATIC to meet a genuine celestial being dinosaur!!!

✨Sir Meteor is ancient, and his cheek markings indicate he belongs to a era long gone. From giving humans the first fire to inventing --—spear hunting——+<3 he has been around!

✨Hey if Meteor is ancient does that mean that he has seen a lot of people d-

“Look at that! The next fact is here early!”

✨Good luck getting him to answer something directly! His open demeanor isn’t necessarily a lie, however he has learned to talk less and smile more.

✨Sir Meteor seems a bit lonely when he isn’t distracting everyone with a smile and a show of flame. He is open to romance with adults a couple million years old, but he greatly craves a good friendship over anything.

[blitzwhore]

Stolas just standing there and letting blitz hug him in the end is all good, right? He is just sad because of octavia and accepting that blitz is there with him right?? It's not that he regrets chosing him, right??? (I just need affirmation)

You know what? I've found myself needing reassurance about this too. So let's take a moment to look at the facts together, shall we?

(This reply turned out way longer than I expected it to 😅 sorry!)

Fact #1 - Stolas is still coming to terms with the consequences of his actions. He spends the whole episode finding out just how much his life has changed. Learning how to navigate groceries, and laundry, and meals, and having a job, and worrying about money.

Mid-episode, he has a breakdown where he truly questions if everything he gave up was worth it just for a fantasy. At this point in the episode, he still hasn't realised how much he means to Blitz. As far as he's concerned, he did all of this for someone who doesn't reciprocate his feelings. By the end of the episode, though, his feelings have settled enough for him to express what he has known to be true all along: that saving Blitz was the right thing to do.

What Stolas regrets isn't saving Blitz's life, or even loving Blitz in the first place.

What he regrets are the choices he made that led them to this. He feels guilty for selfishly (or, rather, naively) playing out his fantasies. He's the one who established the deal, who let Blitz illegally use the book for many months, who wasn't always sensible about how he expressed his love for Blitz publicly and despite being married, and who allowed himself to ignore the reality of his situation so he could live in his own, personal romcom—all of which ultimately led to the events of Mastermind and the loss of Via.

And all the guilt and regret he's grappling with (however justified it might be) is exacerbated by fact #2, which is:

Fact #2 - Stolas is off his medication. He's been off it for a month now. Symptoms of depression (especially untreated depression) include mood swings, irritability, self-hatred and low self-esteem, passive/active suicidal ideation, pessimism and hopelessness about the future, catastrophising, black-and-white thinking, and anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure and to find joy in things—and people—who used to bring you it). All symptoms Stolas exhibits throughout this episode.

So, even if he shows a lack of emotion toward Blitz at times, or irritation to seemingly minor things like low doors or "secretating" or Karen's behaviour, even if he acts regretful and angry and desolate... a lot of these emotions and behaviours are a result of his depression, and not of actually hating the life he chose.

Fact #3 - Stolas loves Blitz. He always has, and always will. I could point at a thousand different moments in the show when Stolas' love for Blitz has transpired, but I'm going to leave it at his line from Mastermind: "I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side."

Even after everything they've gone through, even now that he's taken Blitz off his pedestal and can acknowledge that Blitz can be a fucking idiot... Stolas simply does not want to live a life without Blitz. It has always been Blitz. It will always be Blitz.

Stolas loves Blitz.

Fact #4 - Stolas kissed Blitz. Before he truly hits rock bottom as a result of Octavia cutting him out, Stolas is so ecstatic that Blitz cares, that Blitz was willing to go to such lengths to save his life, that he can't hold back the need to kiss Blitz mid-air. Suddenly, none of his earlier frustration matters. Nothing matters expect for how elated he is that Blitz loves him back. So he smiles and he pulls Blitz into a kiss because he can't bear not to kiss Blitz for a moment longer.

Look at this man. Look at how happy he is. Because it's always been Blitz, and maybe it was a fantasy for a long time, but it doesn't have to be anymore. Maybe this can be real now. He's so happy he (and I) could cry.

Fact #5 - Stolas didn't deny loving Blitz. When Via said "You don't love me, you love him," the script very purposefully did not have Stolas go "no, no, Via, that's not true—" or say anything else that might make Blitz doubt, even for a moment, that Stolas loves him. Because that much is true. He does love Blitz. He just also loves Via. Which brings me to:

Fact #6 - Blitz knows Stolas loves him. At no point throughout the episode does Blitz doubt, even for a second, that Stolas loves him. And we know this because Blitz's walls remain down at all times. If Blitz doubted he was loved, if he had even the slightest of reservations, those walls would come crawling back up whether he wanted them to or not. It's what he's been trained and conditioned to do—it's how he's kept his heart safe ever since the accident.

But now, he knows his heart is safe with Stolas. He believes it enough to not depend on his walls to feel at ease. He believes it enough to let himself take care of Stolas and be soft with Stolas without the slightest trace of hesitation.

Look at Blitz's face. This is the face of a man who knows that even if Stolas isn't okay right now, things will get better. And when they do, they'll both still be in love with each other. This is the face of a man who can't wait for something beautiful to flourish between them, but who is in no rush to get there. He knows the road ahead is hard and painful, but he has faith in Stolas. In both of them.

Fact #6 - Stolas was happy to share a private, romantic dance with Blitz. Despite everything going through his mind, he found comfort and happiness in dancing with Blitz; in getting to have this little moment with him.

He found relief in the fact that Blitz stayed with him this time, even after Stolas told him, once again, that he didn't have to stay.

His reaction to Blitz initiating a dance between them is genuine surprise, immediately followed by an enamoured little smile at the mere notion that he gets to have this, now.

And, as they dance, he keeps smiling and leaning into Blitz, going as far as to manage a deep, heartfelt laugh at Blitz's words. This, for an unmedicated, depressed person going through one of the worst days of his life, is huge in itself. It shows that, even in the worst of times, he finds undeniable comfort and happiness in Blitz.

And, after their dance, Stolas looks at Blitz with a sobriety and soft sort of realisation that shows he's finally coming to terms with the fact that this is real. After everything he's lost, after all the fantasies he hoped for for so long and believed he'd never have, he finally gets to have this.

Despite the pain he's going through, Stolas looks at Blitz and sees the man he loves.

Notice how Blitz's eyes trail down to Stolas' mouth. And Stolas realises. And doesn't move away. Waiting, expectantly, for Blitz's next move, fully expecting it to be a kiss.

But then Blitz hugs him instead, and Stolas doesn't hug back.

And it's not because he doesn't want to be hugged by Blitz. It's not because his feelings for Blitz have changed, or dimmed, or disappeared. It's not because he regrets loving Blitz, or saving him. It's not because he doesn't want to have a close, healthy, loving romantic relationship with Blitz.

It's because of facts #1 (he's grappling with so much guilt and coming to terms with the consequences of his actions) and #2 (he's experiencing symptoms of unmedicated depression). And, above all, it's because of fact #7, which is...

Fact #7 - Stolas doesn't know how to be loved. Stolas has never had support. He has never had a shoulder to cry on, or someone to hold him when he needed it. When he's feeling vulnerable and broken, he defaults to hugging himself as a way to self-soothe, because that's the only comfort he's ever known.

And because he's never known comfort from others—because it was never allowed or safe for him to need or ask for comfort from others—all Stolas knows to do with his vulnerability is hide it. So much so that, the two times we see him begin to break down in front of Blitz before this episode, he either portals Blitz away or masks his tears and pain immediately. Even as he drunkenly rambles about wanting to be held, he still makes sure not to appear like he actually needs a hug.

So when he finds himself being held by Blitz in a warm, comforting hug, Stolas doesn't know how to respond. Because he's never had this. He's never had an opportunity to learn how to exist in someone's comforting embrace, how to interact with this kind of physical contact. He still has to learn how to feel safe between arms that aren't his own.

Simply put, Stolas still doesn't know how to hold Blitz back.

That doesn't mean Stolas doesn't want or need physical comfort. He needs it desperately—everyone does. But wanting something and knowing how to actually have it are two very different things, and Blitz knows that better than anyone, because he's wanted Stolas for a very long time, but didn't, until very recently, know how to feel safe accepting Stolas' love.

And that's why Blitz is completely understanding of the fact that all Stolas can do, all Stolas has the ability to do, is stand there and let himself be held, and let his emotions go through him. In, and out, with every breath, with every second. And get slowly acquainted with what being comforted by the person he loves feels like.

Thirty-something years of trauma can't be undone in a single hug, or a single conversation, and it's going to take time for Stolas to learn how to be present while in Blitz's arms, and how to return that emotional closeness.

But Blitz has faith in him. Blitz is willing to be patient and soft with him while he gets better. Blitz is ready to meet Stolas where he's at, because he knows, beyond a trace of doubt, that they love one another, and they're going to be okay. Even if Stolas doesn't know it yet—even if we, the audience don't know it yet—Blitz knows.

And that's just going to have to be enough for now.

And because this post got completely away from me, I shall conclude by quoting their song, because it summarises their story better than I ever could:

Truer love is hard to find. ❤️

[demon-country]

When Stolas is really, really upset, he occasionally stims by hitting his head. By Mr. Butler's complete lack of reaction, this must have been a fairly common occurrence in his early childhood.

I like that we see both happy and unhappy stims from him. The repetition feels deliberate, just like how both times see him super excited and anticipatory he does little hops or bounces (hard to tell which without seeing his feet).

Another repeated stim is that when he's happy he tends to hold his fists up by his chest, which you can see in the scenes where he's bouncing too. In Seeing Stars he even shakes his fists because he's so excited to have found red glasses that look like his second pair of eyes (he's so fucking cute, I can't stand it).

I wonder if we will see these same stims more often, now that his mask is off again and he's no longer being told he needs to hide his emotions.