#also: if you need someone to be unpleasant in order to be able to judge their behaviour...

[twistmusings]

https://at.tumblr.com/twistmusings/hi-im-new-to-making-request-so-im-sorry-if-its/fkxir37dq71g can you do this request but with the second years?

The second years asking out a chubby!MC

CW: Internalized Fatphobia (Riddle, Azul), mentioned bullying (Riddle, Azul), unhealthy parental relationship (Riddle).

Note: Since there are simply so many second years, I'm going to split this up into two posts so that it's not a wall of text! Here is the continuation of this post! This post has Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, and Jade.

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle's mother left him with a lot of things that he is trying to unlearn. She always calculated precisely how many calories he should eat during a meal and gave food a moral compass. He knows that it's unhealthy now that he's older, but forcing himself to stop isn't easy.

Thankfully, he has some really wonderful people who are helping to unlearn those biases-- one of them being MC, who had told him stories of their own about how being plus sized had made people make unpleasant comments to them about it and how it made them ugly. He finds it baffling, really, that someone would because he thinks they're objectively pretty beautiful, but he supposes some people just don't have any taste at all.

They start going on small 'lunch dates' of a sort (their words, not his) so that Riddle could take some steps to broaden his palette and not feel so guilty for wanting to try new things without having to worry about doing the math for everything that he puts in his mouth. He loves sweets, so recently they've been doing a little café tour to see if they can find some new sweets to try. (Perhaps he's spoiled, but he always ends up thinking Trey would be able to make the desserts ten times better.)

It's during these lunch dates that Riddle starts to realize just how deep his feelings run. He finds himself noticing the way that they smile and how they move their hands when they talk. Whenever they say something kind to him or mention how proud they are, Riddle feels himself swimming in affection for them.

He also finds himself watching their lips move-- and more than once he's caught himself wondering how they would taste, too. Maybe they would taste like the sweet dessert they just ate? Or the drink they ordered? Or would they just taste like themself? The thought worms it's way into his brain and takes root, and now it won't go away.

Riddle clears his throat, sitting his fork down on the edge of his plate as he watches them eat. They're watching the people go by outside the window, seemingly oblivious to him entirely. Normally he would be kicking himself for staring but they're simply captivating.

He doesn't even realize what he's done until they make a curious noise and look at him, head tipped to the side. Riddle wonders why they've turned to look at him when he feels their hand shift under his.

When he feels... their hand-- Wait.

Riddle wasn't sure when his hand had found theirs, but they didn't seem to mind, linking their fingers with his easily in spite of their curious look. Even that simple gesture makes Riddle's heart kick against his ribs, and he hopes he isn't starting to flush.

He can do this. He just needs to... recover.

"These... are dates, are they not?" he manages to settle on that, hoping that they don't realize his nerves. He watches their eyes widen a fraction, and he wonders if they're starting to blush too. They smile at him, fingers squeezing around his own.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to notice." They replied easily. Riddle blinks at them blankly for a moment, and then feels himself go red.

"I see. I... apologize that it took me so long to realize."

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie has always found them attractive. He's never really understood why other places were so strict on policing people's bodies-- Sunset Savanna highly valued strength regardless of size, so it never made sense to him. You really can't judge someone for how healthy or strong they are by their size. What really matters is whether or not they can fight, and he wasn't really in a rush to get his ass beat.

Initially, what makes him start to develop his crush on them is that they catch him picking dandelions. Given how it went when Rook caught him, he expects that they will make fun of him over it. He's used to it, honestly. He was raised in poverty, so he's done all sorts of things to help himself and his grandmother survive, and nothing anyone says to him is going to make him regret or feel ashamed of that.

So he was quite surprised when they found out what he was doing and instead elected to help him, crouching next to him. He asks them why they're helping, and they simply told him they wanted to help him.

It took Ruggie a long time to warm up to their caring nature. He's a suspicious person by nature, and his gut feeling is to distrust their motives, but they never ask for anything in return, and simply seem happy to help him out. Initially he just lets them help him out-- after all, he would be kind of a fool not to. They're not asking for anything in return so he sees it as entirely beneficial to just let them help and sort of sees them as being naive for it. They do know that he will just end up using them, right? That he's doing this to reap the rewards and to look out for himself first, right?

At least... he was when this whole situation first started. He's really not sure when that changed, but at some point it stopped being a matter of him taking advantage of them offering things and gradually changed into him starting to view them as a comrade.

He can see himself catching feelings-- knows it's happening as it happens and it really sort of frustrates him because he never expected to find himself in so deeply when he first met them. And it's frustrating to him that he is frustrated by it-- after all it was pretty normal to want to find someone you liked and get closer to them right? Well, for him it was extremely difficult because he was so used to just looking out for himself that now that there was another person he would like to look out for it felt contradictory to his entire creed. Yes, he might do work for his community back home, but that's different from looking at someone else and thinking that he wants to see them safe and happy above all else.

Ruggie watches them, sitting there swinging their feet and sipping on the drink he'd made for them while they were waiting on him to finish up his shift at his part-time job. He's drying the water off of dishware behind the counter as his co-workers are working on closing down the rest of the restaurant. They'd offered to walk him home.

Ever since they'd gotten here, though, Ruggie was finding it hard to focus. He shakes his head at himself, forcing himself to look away from them and feeling his face twinge pink at catching himself staring. This was nothing, new, though. They always seemed to capture his attention like this.

It doesn't take him much longer to finish up, and within fifteen minutes they're stepping outside into the evening air together. They're laughing and chatting about the latest fun fact they'd read on Magicam, and Ruggie listens if a bit distractedly. Instead, he glances up toward the sky, mulling over the recent developments he's been making about his life.

It's not a bad thing, really. Falling in love with someone. He would have thought that he would be more nervous about this than he is, but instead he finds himself relaxing whenever he's in their presence. He can let his guard down because he knows that they will have his back if he needs them to.

"Ruggie?" Their voice cuts through his train of thoughts, and he turns his gaze toward them in an instant. "Do you have something on your mind? You've been quiet."

Ruggie feels himself start to grin before he can help himself, and he reaches a hand over, ruffling their hair.

"Just thinking we should get plan something to do soon. Together, I mean." Ruggie says it with an easy smile. He might just be asking them out, he'll decide when he's a little more ready. And if not now, someday, he promises himself.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul had never really expected to meet them person to person when he first saw them: he'd overheard some of their classmates making jokes at the expense of their weight and it had really rubbed him the wrong way. He's not normally the sort of person who would lay himself on the line for someone else, but hearing the things that were being said, he couldn't help but to be transported back to when he was in middle school and people kept poking fun at him for being a "chubby, slow octopus".

Azul's brand of justice has always been very slow and orchestrated-- so when those students end up trapped in one of his contracts it should seem to anyone to be an accident. It wasn't his style to interfere in other people's problems unless they sought him out directly, though, so that suited him just fine knowing that they would never be any the wiser that he'd intervened.

So imagine his surprise when they showed up, in person, to thank him directly. He was immediately impressed by how sharp they were, as they explained that since they had noticed him being the only other one to pay attention to the remarks that they figured he was the one who stepped in and that they were grateful.

...And because Azul loves to have his good deeds praised, he invited them to stay for a little while and have some tea with him. They ended up chatting for quite a while.

They would run into each other periodically after that-- pretty infrequently to begin with, but it would grow to be nearly daily that the two of them would talk. Azul was always impressed by them and the different ways that they were impressive in spite of not being able to use magic.

It takes a long, long time, but eventually Azul tells them a little bit about why he did choose to intervene. About how he was constantly teased for how his body when he was younger and how it has caused lasting body issues that he wouldn't wish on anyone else.

Azul wouldn't normally have any trouble trying to ask someone out, however for the two of them, they just sort of... happen to start dating. They aren't entirely positive when, though there was certainly one particular instance that sort of solidified it.

"I have a favor to ask." Azul sighs, swallowing thickly as they sit down across from him, cup of tea in hand. They've been giving him concerned looks all day today-- after all, it's unlike him to be nervous.

"Uh... sure, what's up?"

He taps his fingers on the wooden table in front of him as he ponders over the best way to broach this subject. It was... difficult.

"My mother..." He begins, and then stops again.

"...Your mom?"

"She would like me to bring some classmates who are friends home for her to meet..." Azul hums, pushing his glasses up on his nose. They give him a skeptical look, like he's surely over exaggerating. "I would like you to come with me."

"To meet your mom?"

"Yes... As I'm sure you're aware, Jade and Floyd will likely also go back with me to visit their family and seeing as you're already quite familiar with them, I figured it would be the best to ask you."

"Mmmhm. What's the real reason, Azul?" Azul winces. Ah, yes, sharp as ever...

"First, because I trust you not to embarrass me in front of my parents..."

"And?"

"And second, because you are already... aware of how my true form differs from this one. I dislike the idea of being seen in it but... my mother wouldn't have it any other way, and I know that you aren't likely to make untoward comments. And I trust that you are to remain silent... at a price of course."

"...Are you bribing me to not talk about what you look like when you're in your mer-form?"

He was, in fact, going to bribe them. They agree, and tell him that there's no need to bribe them. He prepares all of the things they will need to go under the sea. Given how well that they handle his transformation to his octopus form and how much his mother seems to like them, coupled with the feelings that Azul was already beginning to harbor, they end up... simply dating. There isn't really a point where either of them asked the other out-- one day Azul simply asked what the two of them were, and they mutually agreed that they would like to be together.

Jade Leech

Jade has found them attractive since he first laid eyes on them, though he's not the sort of person who goes out of his way to flirt with someone he's just met. He's not so bold as that even if he is bold in a lot of other ways. Their first few interactions are similar to a lot of people's first impressions of Jade. He seems quiet and polite, and slowly they start to realize that he might just be more unhinged that Azul and Floyd.

He prefers to think of it as a quiet chaos, thank you very much. And he is very refreshed to see that they are surprisingly receptive to it. It's not often he can find someone who matches his wavelength in that way.

Unlike Azul, he's not the kind of person who has to stop and think over every eventuality to pursue something he wants. Once he realizes that he does have an interest in dating them, he's going to start flirting with them. If they seem interested in reciprocating his advances, he'll get a little more serious with his flirting and will eventually ask him out. He's surprisingly straightforward when it comes to matters of romance.

"You have something on your face." Jade hums. They look over at him-- they hadn't heard him, it seems. Jade merely smiles, wrapping his napkin around his fingertips and dabbing away the smear of sauce from the side of their mouth.

"Gross." Floyd chirps from where he sits, slumped forward onto the table. Jade quirks an eyebrow, glancing at his sibling across the table, though Floyd merely scrunches his face in distaste at them. "You two act all couple-y."

"Because he helped me wipe my face off?" They snort, shaking their head at Floyd. Jade knows that Floyd is wing manning, in his own way, but he's about as subtle as a steam engine. This isn't even the first time he's mentioned something about the two of them acting like a couple today. "So romantic. I'm swooning." The dead pan, and Jade can't help but to grin a little as they do. It's simply charming how comfortable they are around Floyd, despite the way he bears his teeth.

"Gross." Floyd repeats, further grimacing.

"Perhaps, if the opportunity presents itself." Jade hums, unguarded and entirely honest. They look at him, surprised and visibly unsure how to take that. He can't help the way that his grin widens to show the sharp points of his teeth, and he gently brushes his gloved knuckles along their jawline. "Isn't that right, dearest?"

Floyd groans, displeased at Jade doubling down. They also roll their eyes, seeming to share his sentiment despite the flush rising to their cheeks.

"You... are the worst."

[keefwho]

July 06 - 2023 Thursday

8:01 AM

The first real chapter of my new book was alright, I’m not really learning anything new but I am re-hashing things I want to have a better grasp on. Things like how it’s believed we should be happy all the time and if we’re not, we are defective. Or how the way to be happy is to simply stop thinking negative things and replace them with good things. Also how we should be able to simply control our thoughts and feelings. But in practice all those things are wrong. Growing up in this society taught us to believe these things so I can’t blame myself for falling into the trap. I can definitely say personally that the way I locked up my emotions for so long was started by always being told as a kid that I just shouldn’t feel a certain way. I shouldn’t be crying about this or that, or I should be happy about this or that. I was told that by my parents, teachers, and peers. And always having been someone with a weak will because of the kind of shit I went through in my childhood, I had no way to push back. 

The end of the chapter provided me with a questionnaire to get me thinking. I gotta pick between option a and b, I’ll cross out what isn’t true for me. 

1a. I must have good control of my feelings in order to be successful in life. 1b. It is unnecessary for me to control my feelings in order to be successful in life.

2a. Anxiety is bad. 2b. Anxiety is neither good nor bad. It is merely an uncomfortable feeling.

3a. Negative thoughts and feelings will harm you if you don’t control or get rid of them. 3b. Negative thoughts and feelings won’t harm you, even if they feel unpleasant.

4a. I’m afraid of some of my strong feelings. 4b. I’m not afraid of any feelings, no matter how strong.

5a. In order for me to do something important, I have to get rid of all my doubts. 5b. I can do something important, even when doubts are present.

6a. When negative thoughts and feelings arise, it’s important to reduce or get rid of them as fast as possible. 6b. Trying to reduce or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings frequently causes problems. If I simply allow them to be, then they will change as a natural part of living.

7a. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to analyse them; then utilise that knowledge to get rid of them. 7b. The best method of managing negative thoughts and feelings is to acknowledge their presence and let them be, without having to analyse or judge them.

8a. I will become ‘happy’ and ‘healthy’ by improving my ability to avoid, reduce or get rid of negative thoughts and feelings. 8b. I will become ‘happy’ and ‘healthy’ by allowing negative thoughts and feelings to come and go of their own accord, and learning to live effectively when they are present.

9a. If I can’t suppress or get rid of a negative emotional reaction, it’s a sign of personal failure or weakness. 9b. The need to control or get rid of a negative emotional reaction is a problem in itself.

10a. Having negative thoughts and feelings is an indication that I’m psychologically unhealthy or ‘I’ve got problems’. 10b. Having negative thoughts and feelings means I’m a normal human being.

11a. People who are in control of their lives can generally control how they feel. 11b. People who are in control of their lives do not need to try to control their feelings.

12a. It is not okay to feel anxious and I try hard to avoid it. 12b. I don’t like anxiety, but it’s okay to feel it.

13a. Negative thoughts and feelings are a sign that there is something wrong with my life. 13b. Negative thoughts and feelings are an inevitable part of life for everyone.

14a. I have to feel good before I can do something that’s important and challenging. 14b. I can do something that’s important and challenging even if I’m feeling anxious or depressed.

15a. I try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like by just not thinking about them. 15b. I don’t try to suppress thoughts and feelings that I don’t like. I just let them come and go of their own accord.

I tried to be honest with myself but having to chose between some of these was hard. I consciously believe one thing but can feel the opposite way. I can try to behave one way but actually behave another. I scored: A: 9 B: 6

The more I picked A, the more likely it is that I try to control my feelings too much which directly leads to suffering because it doesn’t work. It might be even worse because of how iffy I was with my answers. As much as I KNOW I’m not meant to control my feelings, I still try to a lot and I’ve known that. It’s a hard thing to grasp and truly accept I suppose. 

[angel2019]

Law #2 Never put too much trust in friends

Learn how to use enemies.

Be wary of friends, they will betray you more quickly for they are easier aroused to envy, they also become spoiled. Hire a former enemy and they will be more loyal than a friend for they have more to prove. You have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them. Sometimes friends forget the favours they receive and imagine they have earned their success by their own merits. Friendship and love blind every person to their interests. Nobody believes a friend can betray them but they do. A friend expects more and more favours and exceeds with jealousy. Former enemies expect nothing. It is natural to wanna employ your friends when you find yourself in times of need. The world is a harsh place and your friends soften the harshness, besides you know them, why depend on a stranger? When you have a friend at hand. The problem is you often don’t know your friends as well as you imagine. Friends often agree on things in order to avoid an argument, they cover up their unpleasant qualities to try not to offend each other. They laugh extra hard at each other’s jokes. Since honesty rarely strengthens friendship, you may never know how a friend truly feels. Friends will compliment everything about you, maybe they mean it, often they don’t. When you hire a friend you often start to see the qualities they have hidden. Strangely enough your acts of kindness is what unbalances everything. People want to feel they deserve their good fortune. The receipt of a favour can become oppressive. It means you have been chosen because you are a friend, not because you are deserving. There is almost a touch of condescension in the act of hiring friends that secretly afflicts them. The injury will come out slowly. A little more hostility flashes of resentment and envy here and there and before you know it your friendship fades. The more favours and gifts you give to revive the friendship the less gratitude you receive. Ingratitude has demonstrated it’s powers for centuries. If you never expect gratitude from a friend you will be pleasantly surprised when they do prove grateful. Hiring friends will inevitably limit your power. Your friend is rarely the one most able to help you. All working situations require a distance between people. You try to work, not make friends. The key to power is having the ability to judge who is best able to further your interests. In all situations keep friends for friendship. Work with the skilled and competent. Your enemies are an untapped gold mine you must learn to exploit. A person who has something to prove will move mountains for you. Former hatred creates opportunity for emotional reconciliation. Whenever you can, bury the hatchet with an enemy. Make a point of putting them in your service. You destroy an enemy when you make a friend out of them. Without enemies around us we grow lazy. An enemy at our heals sharpens our wits keeping us focused and alert. Without a worthy opponent, a person or group cannot grow stronger. In the long run you will emerge victorious. Never pick a fight with someone you are not sure you can defeat. If you have no enemies, set up a convenient target like turning a friend into an enemy. Use your enemies to define your cause more clearly to the public, even framing it as a struggle of good against evil. Never let the presence of your enemies upset or distress you. Always pay attention to envy and ingratitude. The closest of friends can be transformed into the worst of enemies. People are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit cause gratitude is a burden and revenge is a pleasure.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Prelude (Ethan x f!MC)

Book: Open Heart, Book 1 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1.5 K Premise: Three moments leading up to their fateful meeting.

Author’s Note: In which I try to explain why MC didn’t know what Ethan, her medical hero, looked like. Also, my (late) fic for the book 1 replay. Thank you @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading!

Three.

Harper frowns down at the file in her hand, her sharp gaze burning into the collated papers as though coercing them to solve their dilemma once and for all. From the end of the table, Cyrus lets out an inpatient sigh.

“It's very simple, Harper,” he drones. Ethan's fists clench reflexively at his sides, urging to remind Cyrus that Harper is the chief now and warrants more respect than his insufferable tone is offering. “The last spot should go to the candidate from Harvard. We are the best hospital on the east coast, after all. It only makes sense.”

Harper looks unconvinced and still, her pensive expression remains fixed in the file.

“An ivy league degree does not a good doctor make,” Naveen adds sagely into the ensuing silence. His smile is placid enough but Ethan knows the older doctor well enough to hear the warning edge in his voice. Evidently, even Naveen disapproves of Cyrus's lack of respect for their new chief.

Cyrus scoffs.

“And if you need further proof of that, Doctor Cyrus,” Ethan begins dryly, eyes boring into him. “Then look no further than your side of the conference table.”

A few attendings—at least the ones who have become increasingly tired of Cyrus's boastful proclamations about his alma mater—laugh quietly at the jab. Cyrus splutters, his face an unpleasant shade of red as he glares daggers at Ethan.

“This candidate,” Harper says at last, unaware or uncaring of what she had just interrupted. Her two lone words are enough to command the room's attention at once, but her hazel eyes are on Ethan. “You're convinced she's the best fit for Edenbrook?”

Ethan meets her eye and pauses.

It's the first time they look at each other directly since he ended their relationship two weeks prior. Despite the brief time apart and an unshakeable resolve to be professional, his stomach sinks heavy, like a stone.

Harper looks as graceful and dignified as ever, keeping every emotion in check. Yet, as she holds his gaze, Ethan can see a small flicker or sadness and his stomach twists with guilt.

“I'm positive, Chief Emery,” Ethan responds. “This candidate exhibits the type of potential we look for at Edenbrook.”

The use of her new title seems to snap Harper out of a reverie.

“She graduated top of her class and ranked in the top percent among our chosen cohort of interns,” Ethan continues. “I've also looked into her research and it's among the most promising I've seen. I recommend her without reservations.”

With a single nod and a sense of finality, Harper closes the file.

“Then it's settled. We have our last intern.”

“You're joking, Harper,” Cyrus blurts out, incensed. “We're giving a coveted spot to the candidate from UCLA?”

He says the name of the school with so much derision, Ethan feels his ears flare up.

“That Doctor Ayala?” Cyrus continues.

“Doctor Allende,” Ethan corrects, jaw clenched.

“Don't we have enough charity cases in the cohort already? This is token—”

But the vitriol is quickly interrupted by several things happening at once: Ethan darting forward, fists ready; a startled, collective gasp from the other attendings; Naveen, quietly intercepting Ethan and halting his steps with a steady hand, a feat that is impressive for a man much older and shorter; and Harper, also on her feet, directing a disgusted look at Cyrus she doesn’t bother to disguise behind professionalism.

“I would think very carefully about finishing that sentence if I were you, Doctor Cyrus,” she says, her voice low but with the impact of a clashing gavel. “And I ask that you address me as Chief Emery moving forward.”

Two.

“If you end up marrying someone with a Boston accent,” Laurel is saying with a devilish grin. “I will never be able to keep a straight face when they talk. Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd.”

Her older sister peers at Lilac over the flaps of an open cardboard box, the glint in her eye growing wickeder still. “Imagine what they’d sound like in bed. You're so fucking gawgeous, dawctaw—”

Before her sister can escalate that impression into disturbing territory, Lilac silences her with a well-aimed pillow. It succeeds in hitting Laurel straight in the face but also in turning her laughter into a cackle.

“Are you going to help me pack or not?” Lilac says sternly, though the effect is entirely ruined by the smile that manages to break through.

Laurel raises her hands in defeat and returns to packing Lilac's books neatly. They work in companionable silence for a few minutes with nothing but their favorite music blaring from the speakers of Lilac's phone.

“Is this the book?” her sister asks suddenly, turning a worn textbook in her hands and studying it closely. “The one written by your medical crush?”

For some inexplicable reason, Lilac feels her face flare with heat. “He's not my crush.”

“You just worship the ground he walks on,” her sister returns, flipping through Diagnostic Principles. “Though, you're right. In order to have a crush you'd need to know what he looks like.”

Laurel reaches the back cover, frowning. “Why wouldn't he add an author picture?”

Lilac says nothing, biting the inside of her cheek. She can't blame her sister for being curious and a bit disappointed at the lack of visual representation. After all, Lilac had felt crestfallen when all she found in the author's information section was the green and blue Edenbrook logo.

“Maybe he's a private man and doesn't like his picture out in the world? Maybe he wants aspiring doctors to focus on his research and not his looks?”

“So he's either really hot or really ugly,” Laurel returns, unmoved by Lilac's impassioned speech. “Have you ever tried looking him up online?”

Lilac had been tempted many times, but she was fiercely adamant about keeping her medical hero a mystery outside of his work. It already felt invasive enough to track down his undergrad research and every other minor paper he'd ever written. When it came to Ethan Ramsey, Lilac had searched every corner of scholarly journals and databases, absorbing every piece of his work with an adoration that was already embarrassing enough.

Plus, she would never admit it out loud, but she was also afraid that knowing what the brilliant doctor looked like would somehow ruin him for her. Or at least, alter the image of him she had constructed in her head for so many years. It felt right to continue seeing Dr. Ramsey as the brilliant force that pushed her into her dream career and not as a definitive set of features.

“It doesn't matter what he looks like. He's the best and I'm going there to learn from him, not to judge his appearance.”

“I'm Googling him,” Laurel announces, already typing furiously into her phone. After a few seconds, her phone returns results and her eyebrows shoot up, staying suspended for longer than normal.

“What?” Lilac asks despite herself.

“Wow.”

“Wow what?”

“Just… wow.” Laurel stares down at the screen with such awestruck amazement that Lilac feels a powerful wave of curiosity. “He’s shirtless in some of these.”

“What?” Lilac yelps, feeling her face flare up at once. 

“Yeah, apparently you’re not his only fan. Tons of people have taken his picture.” Her sister seems to blink out of a trance, turning the screen toward Lilac. “Here, see for your—”

But Lilac turns her gaze away almost out of reflex.

“No!” 

The word comes out far more impassioned than Lilac intended. Still, she resolutely turns her head. “That feels...invasive, somehow?”

“Come on—”

“I'm serious, Lau. I don't want to see. I'm already nervous enough about this whole thing without having to worry about this wow-worthy revelation. And besides, taking someone’s shirtless picture without their consent and posting it online is already bad enough. It feels wrong supporting that.”

Laurel rolls her eyes.

“I'm going to see him in less than a week anyway. With clothes. In a professional setting. As I should. If I waited all these years, I can wait that long.”

A knowing, devious sort of smile pulls at her sister's face. She mumbles something over the music and Lilac can swear it sounds oddly like: “...worth the wait.”

One.

Ethan should have taken the broken and sputtering coffee machine in his apartment as an omen. His morning definitely declined from then on, starting with gridlock traffic and ending with an infuriatingly long line at his favorite coffee place.

The ultimate lack of coffee is probably his fault because Ethan had spent too much time deliberating whether or not he wanted to go with store bought coffee on what promised to be a grueling day. When he had finally made up his mind, however, the line was already out the door.

Irritated and caffeine deprived, he drives back to Edenbrook.

“You're earlier than we agreed,” Naveen says as soon as Ethan accepts his incoming call. “What was the point of rearranging the whole schedule if you were going to come in when you pleased anyway?”

“I'm not even through the gates yet. What are you spying on me?”

“No need. You forget how predictable you are.”

Naveen chuckles as he says this which eases some of Ethan's irritation. The older doctor had purposely scheduled him later in the day to give him some peace on the first day of the new intern cohort.

Naturally, Ethan arrived several hours early, as per his custom.

“Or maybe you know me too well by now.”

Naveen's benevolent laughter turns into a dry but lingering cough on the other end of the line. Instantly, Ethan's insides freeze over, his stomach sinking unpleasantly.

He opens his mouth to question his mentor about this persisting symptom, when sheer reflex prompts him to stomp on the breaks so suddenly, his body jerks forward then slams against his seat.

“Shit.”

Something—or rather someone— had crossed the parking lot road right in front of his car, standing mere inches away from his front bumper.

“Ethan?” Naveen asks through the speaker.

When Ethan recovers and regains movement of his arms and legs, he feels the spike of adrenaline give way to pure annoyance.

The offending pedestrian is a young brunette clad in blue scrubs, a medical intern by the looks of it. She stands there in the middle of the road, her mouth hanging open in a way that would have been comical to Ethan if he wasn't so irritated.

They stare at one another, though Ethan is convinced she can't see much through the tinted glass.

Then, right before his eyes, she seems to recover from the shock. Drawing herself to her full height, she glares at Ethan. At least, he thinks she's glaring through the dark lenses of her sunglasses.

Ethan almost scoffs.

She has the audacity to be angry when she was the one who made the rookie mistake of aimlessly crossing in front of him?

Who the hell does she think she is?

“Asshole,” she mutters, the word quite audible through his windows.

Before a stunned Ethan can respond, she turns on her heel and rushes toward the hospital, a curtain of dark hair dancing behind her.

“What was that?” Naveen asks, still on the call.

“I hate interns,” Ethan responds much to the older doctor's amusement.

Bonus:

Author’s Note: In other words, my MC was late to her orientation because of Ethan and that’s how she met him in the waiting room lol. Thank you so much for reading! 

*Tagging Separately 

[iv-aur-y]

Scaramouche !

scaramouche ;; would she?

synopsis ;; the purple-haired man begins to harbor feelings for you, but doubts whether he's worthy enough for you. a sequel to euthymia, part two of a mini-series ² · ﹖but can be read as a separate oneshot

foreword ;; this depiction of scara is purely a piece of fiction i came up with, i need to do a few more character studies to understand how he behaves, so this'll be completely ooc for our favorite harbinger.

also, much like the popular theory, scara will be portrayed as a clone for baal. however, it is not yet confirmed that this is true, even though many people embrace him as such. do take his background like a grain of salt, please and thank you.

Words could not describe the way Scaramouche looked at her. He hated her, but loved her, nonetheless. From the ecstatic look in her eyes when he brought her favorite dish, to the way her hands carefully accepted everything he gifted, whether it was something he found at the edge of a sidewalk, or something he had purchased with just her in mind.

The girl had the man whipped, he felt like a puddle in her embrace. Whenever she held out her hand as they walked the streets of Inazuma, the warmth that radiated from her could easily thaw the ice that froze his heart.

As someone who was solely brought into this world for becoming a marionette, she sure had a hobby to make him forget the reason for his creation.

He could feel the weight of the control paddle that hovered over his head be cut off as she wielded scissors that severed their attachment.

Her presense was soothing, to the point that his head would lull onto her shoulder as they sat side-by-side. Scaramouche was nothing more than smitten, and even those who didn't know the two personally could tell the man had feelings for the latter.

But. What about her? What did she feel for him, what were her thoughts on him? Scaramouche desperately wanted to know. Surely, he couldn't be the only one enamored by the latter.

"What do you think of the Scaramouche?" he had once heard Kazuha ask. He was running late that day, caught up in a meeting with Snezhnayan diplomats. So once he heard the question, he, too, wondered, what was he to her.

"He can a be a little... unpleasant sometimes. He suddenly goes quiet after smiling, or even in middle of speaking." he watched she stares into the area ahead of her, continuing to hide as he eavesdropped.

Oh, so he was unpleasant. Of course, why would a mere doll like him be of any importance to her? He was nothing more than an empty shell, he wasn't meant for the purpose of living for himself.

"Every so often, I wonder what's on his mind. His eyes are always clouded with uncertainty, as if something is holding him back." her tone faltered, as she clutched onto the hem of her dress. "Would it be bothersome for him to indulge his matters to me, is what I think. But, who am I to judge his actions?"

Scaramouche ran away that day. He didn't show up to their usual meeting spot, and he didn't go to meet her either.

He had constant thoughts regarding what she thought of him. Clearly, she cared for him and his well-being, but not so much so like he did for her.

If he were to tell her how he felt, would she deny him? Would she run away? If he were to tell her about why he was alive, would she accept him? Would she cast him away?

The young man was considering joining the Fatui Harbingers. His goal was to overthrow the Electro Archon, whom was the sole reason to his being. And the Tsaritsa's goal was to overthrow Celestia. Both of which aligned in some way.

If Scaramouche were to be with [Name], would she be directly in harm's way? Would she be able to protect herself? If Scaramouche was to become the next Harbinger, what would become of their relationship? Would he have to sever all bonds with her? Or worse, under the command of the Tsaritsa, would he be ordered to kill her if she became a hindrance to his work?

After that night, the young navy-purple haired male never went to meet the female again. Whom thought that he was mad at her or something of the sort. And even though her mind told her not to, she ventured out, seeking him. In hopes of meeting him again. And meet they did.

In the midst of a misty gale, the female stood in front of the male. there was a tall man who stood before her, a joker hat placed lopsided on his head. a smile was stitched onto his face permanently, his eyes wide.

"Pierro, the Jester." he spoke, which the female chose to ignore. Turning to the figure behind him, a worried look on her face as she met eyes with Scaramouche. "Are you going to leave as well?"

The male averted his gaze, while [Name] held out her hand, once again. "Then, I hope we meet again." he didn't return the gesture, leaving her behind with each step he took. Would she even care if he left? Certainly not, right?

Pierro's smile grew bigger at the scene. Yes, he would make a great addition to the puppets the Tsaritsa wished to cultivate.

[nafeary]

Napoleon, Theo, Dazai, and Jean reacting to College Student!MC Stressed by Deadlines

Requested by @hqissodelicate:

hey toni boo, sara/delicateikemenmemes here ❤ i've been Going Through It with school 😔 so i was thinking of how my boos napoleon, theo, dazai & jean would react to MC who's a (stressed, exhausted) student who got yeeted to the mansion in the midst of a bunch of deadlines? thank you boo & i hope you're drinking your water 💙😤

✧✎ A/N: I’m sorry it took me this long to finish... but this was super fun to write and it helped me get back into writing after such a long break due to school bs. I’m not too satisfied with Dazai’a and the haphazard scenario/headcanons mush, but I still quite like this I think. Thank you for the request dear! Take care and drink water, everyone!

Warnings: Stress and mild mentions of anxiety, and like one mention of sexual intercourse

Napoleon Bonaparte

“You’re just a chore, after all.”

You whirled around. “Don’t act like your job is going to be that hard,” you could only scoff in annoyance, “I’m going to be inside my room all day, anyway.”

At first, Napoleon was slightly confused by your statement. Wouldn’t you want to explore this new world at all? But according to code, he’d just smirk and go (sleep) do smth

And true to your statement, you did stay inside your room for the most part

It’s not like your quadrillion essays would write themselves

It’s not like your college would just excuse your tardiness

It’s not like—

“Nunuche, you sure you don’t need a break from... whatever you’re doing?”

Napoleon was quite suddenly standing besides you, trying to read the mess that you’ve created.

“And who gave you permission to enter?”

“Me, obviously. I did have the impression that you were in danger, judging from the amount of curses I perceived.”

You could have died from embarrassment. Of course he had to hear your yells of frustration, stemming from the fact that your laptop was out of order, that you had no idea how to use ink properly, and—

“Have you realised that you regularly zone out?”

“I suppose? But if you wouldn’t mind, I really need to finish...” you trailed off, gesturing to the papers in front of you.

However, at his inquisitive gaze, you decided to explain that these were essays that could very well decide how you’d pass university, and, upon further inquiry, elaborated how a modern student’s life looked like

He never interrupted you unnecessarily, only to ask questions when a concept was too modern for him to comprehend

Your cursed assignments certainly made your life in the past harder to enjoy, but it also brought you and the emperor closer than ever

Unable to access the internet—or visit the college library—you had no proper sources for you references (considering that Comte’s library had no modern content, naturally)

You also didn’t want to bother Sebastian, especially since him and Comte had shown so much understanding for your peril that they practically forbid you from helping him out around the mansion

Their reasoning didn’t make you feel less bad though

Hence, you only had one option left that could complete your last essay

Which oh-so conveniently encompasses the Napoleonic Wars, something you truly did not want to burden him with

“Napoleon? Remember those essays that I have to finish for my university courses?”

“Of course.”

You were twiddling your thumbs, contemplating whether your grades are worth revisiting unpleasant memories, aka the taboo of the mansion

Abruptly, he grabbed your cheeks with just enough force to turn you away from looking at your feet, but not enough to inflict pain. “If there is anything I can help you with, I’d never shy away from it.”

Begrudgingly, you inquired him about his reign with as little focus on the gruesome details as possible your professor be damned

And holy shit, he’s amazing at writing? And Not just cringey love letters? Panty Sniffer Napoleon brrrrr

As you grew closer, he’s spoil you with vitamin-rich snacks (going as far as asking Arthur and Sebastian for medical advice)

He enjoys carving cute shapes out of fruits and eggs because he knows that their and his adorable presence will prompt the perfect amount of distraction to allow a small moment of rest

Says that it’s his duty as your guard and boyfriend to take care of your overworking habits

Expect frequent complaints from your beau, ranging from “how could they assign so many essays? Aren’t students just humans, too?” to “‘Reasons Why Edison Is Better Than Newton’? Do they even know what they’re talking about? Tch!”

Theodorus Van Gogh

You gleefully indulged in his charades for the first few days. They were a welcome distraction from your college work, after all

But the procrastination was accompanied by guilt, your anxiety building up every second you spent helping Sebastian with the chores, and gallivanting around town with Theo

A week passed before your sense of responsibility finally kicked in. So when Sebas came to wake you up just as the sun peaked past the horizon, you were already scribbling away on some sheets you’d found in your drawers

“Ah, good morning, Sebastian-san.”

“Good morning... what are you writing, if I may ask?”

“Just some essays for my college courses...” you said, glancing dejectedly at your notes.

Now that you didn’t have access to the internet, and your laptop’s battery was all used up, it made your work all the more tedious, but you had to set your teeth and do this.

“Give me 10 minutes, and I’ll join you in the kitchen.”

He had wanted to argue, but you didn’t let him. And when he saw you leaving the house with Theo later in the afternoon, he could only shake his head.

You felt like you owed the art dealer, especially since you blurted out his secret the literal next moment, so you committed to helping him while also keeping up with your work

Although, him calling you dog wasn’t nice either—even though, according to Sebas’ explanation, Hondje wasn’t exactly the equivalent to mutt

That cycle continued for days. Helping out around the mansion, getting pulled around by Theo, and writing your essays deep into the night

Not to mention all the worries that pressured your shoulders further and further into the ground

You were missing so many group project deadlines, disappointing people that relied on you... it was safe to say that sleep did not come easy, if barely

Just before you arrived at your room after a late night art exhibit did your body decide to fail you, tripping over nothing multiple times.

It prompted Theo to call you out before you could even think of rushing past the door, steadying you with a hand more gentle than you had ever experienced it to be.

“Sebas informed me that you’ve been working yourself to death.”

You silently cursed the butler. “I haven’t—“

“Give me your laptop.”

Perplexion ran across your mien, wondering how he could possibly have remembered such a modern detail from your countless rambles. “It’s batt— it doesn’t work right now, so it’s not like it would stop me from working.”

Arguing with the devil was a mistake.

He snaked his arms around you, holding the door handle in place with one hand while the other still kept you upright. “I don’t care whether you work or not, I’m not your mother. And regardless of its abilities, hand it over, knabbletje.”

What other choice did you have but to comply?

He ordered—yes, ordered—you to go to bed right that instant

If you hesistanly ask him to do the same (we all know what a hard worker he is), he’ll just press a guileless kiss to your forehand, telling you not to worry about him

The next morning, you were already worrying for your baby’s safety within the sadist’s hands when the devil invited himself into your room

“Ever heard of knocking?”

“Morning to you, too, Hondje.” He sent you an overly handsome smirk, handing you the laptop tucked underneath his arms. “You won’t be able to use that spider web Sebas told me about, but writing should work.”

You stared at Theo in disbelief, all the while internally laughing at him misinterpreting the World Wide Web. Deciding to trust in him, you clicked the power button. And sure enough, it sprang to life. “What... how in the world did you...”

Leo overheard you and Sebas talking about solar energy sometime… hush, just run with it

He fell into the seat next to you, propping his chin upon his fist. “I didn’t do anything. Just asked Sebas whether there was a way for you to use this. Leonardo took notice and tinkered around with it. Don’t ask—ah!”

You threw your arms around his shoulders, pressing your face into the crook of his neck. “Thank you for taking care of me, Theo.”

Would you have lifted your face, then you’d have caught a glimpse of the vermillion shading his cheeks. “I didn’t do it to help you. I simply can’t risk having you become a liability at work. That’s all.”

Anyway, tsundere tendencies aside, you know what another big factor of dating Theo is?

King if you’re not allergic, understandably, if so, he’ll change his clothes before even thinking of visiting you

On days that you decide to be especially stubborn, he pulls you outside, all the whilst whistling for the jolly golden retriever

And as soon as he comes running, your mind goes brrrrr cute dog

Although, he’ll try his best not to distract you from work. He knows from personal experience that it’s a much bigger annoyance than help

Thus, he’ll certainly use his connections and amiable rip Shakes relationships with the residents to help you out with the research process

Also, with his superior memory, he knows what generally makes you happy and relaxed, so he’ll be his usual observant self to decipher just what would help you perfectly relax/finish your work

Hardworking boi, please love him

Dazai Osamu

Dazai is the type of person that doesn’t mind upsetting people and risking someone’s disdain if it supports that person in the long run

And he’s able to read people like books, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he knows you’re overwhelmed before you even realize it

You’ve been going to sleep too late and waking up too early? He’ll gently force you (if you’re 100% against it, he won’t do it ofc) to sleep beside him, making sure that you won’t rise with the sun for once

You’ve been exposing your wrist to heavy sprain? He’ll teach you some handy-dandy 5 Min Crafts techniques that are guaranteed to send your hands on a vacation

You've been suffering from writer’s block? Time to go on a lovely stroll through nature with your boo

Your shoulders and neck are hurting beyond sanity? He swears by hot springs, so the thermae is his go-to for when you need to relive some muscle kinks

He never fails to procure the perfect amount of bubbles and temperature. And depending on how comfortable you are with it, he’ll offer to wash your hair.

And since dude got Disney princess hands, you most probably fall asleep, but our man is there to hold you above the water

His bare thighs are an added bonus, sending your mind into spirals faaaar away from college work

After you’re done bathing, he’ll ask you whether you’d like him to braid your hair (if it’s long enough), and his Disney princess hands will not disappoint

In the beginning, it was incredibly vexing to have a security cam in the form of a handsome man always on the qui vive

But at some point, you started embracing Dazai’s overwhelmingly passive—you knew exactly what he was doing whenever he’d do something random—protectiveness

Especially since it didn’t only help you complete your work; on the contrary, you were always excited to spend time with the Japanese writer

But that didn’t curb your confusion at the whole debacle. Why was he this focused on your well-being?

So, you decided to confront him

“Dazai?” Once again, you were relaxing in his arms, his fingers threading through your hair lulling you into a dreamlike state.

He ticked his head to the side, pulling your entwined hands closer towards his heart. The sun streamed into the run at just the right angle, yet the golden light was not as bright as his vivid citrine orbs.

You sighed, unable to look at his stupid handsome face for too long. ”Why is it that you insist on taking care of me?”

“Someone has to, Toshiko-san.”

You’d have blurted out your feelings if it wasn’t for the sudden embrace you found yourself in. As guileless as it appeared, you knew he was trying to stop you from acting on your thoughts.

Deciding that you didn’t want to pressure him further (after all, you knew that he had a hellish first life), you accepted the unclarity of his feelings—even though his actions spoke loud enough for you to understand.

It was that day that you decided to repay him for all he’s done for you

And you wouldn’t let him yeet himself through a window in an attempt to evade the love sent his way this time

Even if it took decades, you wanted him to feel just as safe and loved as you did in his company

You were glad to have such a caring man by your side who helps you with managing you self care

You could only hope that he’d allow himself to be treated the same way

Please just take our love, boo. We love you

Jean d’Arc

Well fuck, how could he possibly help someone who’s stressed when he himself is a 24/7 McDonalds that only sells Chicken McStress?

Anywho, I feel like he’d be the complete opposite of Dazai when confronted with a stressed MC

He’d care just as much, of course, but he thinks that it would be better to give her space, since he himself understands the desire for solitude well

So yeah, I can see him not going out of his way to check up on you if you weren’t super duper close friends/lovers IF it wasn’t for his friend Napoleon

After all, it was him who gave your boyfriend a lil talk, convincing him that, perhaps even if someone needs space, they probably still need someone to look after them

Living with Jean is basically Ted Talks everyday

Anyway, he embarked on his journey to hopefully help you and and to relieve some stress that was wearing you down (according to the statement of several residents)

And, finding himself halting abruptly, our pessimistic little bean realised that he’s got zero idea what did help you attain bliss

So he opted for the next best option—things he knew that made his friends relax

Plan A

Hearing a few oddly reluctant raps on your door, you went to open it. As soon as you did, the beautiful man who’d captured your heart entered your vision, your eyes finding his amethyst ones immediately.

You two stayed like that for a moments, only breaking eye contact when he sighed and simultaneously thrusted a mug into your hand, already in the process striding back to his own room.

“Uhm… Jean? I’m a bit busy right now, but would you like to come in?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you find it inappropriate for a man to enter your room, mademoiselle?”

“Jean,” you giggled at his archaic mindset, gently rubbing your thumb between his brows to even out the crease. “We’ve had sex before, you know. Of course you ca—“

Wrong thing to say. He stormed past you, vermillion cheeks practically leaving a trail.

Chuckling to yourself, you turned to the mug’s contents. “Hm? Hot chocolate?”

Plan B:

“If this doesn’t harbor your discomfort…” Your boyfriend reluctantly stood in your room’s corner, standing straighter than a rod.

Frankly, your essays have kept you entirely too busy, and you longed for the warmth of the French man’s feather-like embrace.

“On the contrary, I enjoy your presence.” And you went right back to scribbling away.

Jean frowned. “Haven’t you been writing stories since this morning?”

“They’re not stories… and, yeah? I believe so.”

Stepping towards your seated form, he extended his hand; you grabbed it without thinking twice. “Is everything alrig—whoa!”

With the ease of a seasoned soldier, he picked you up before haphazardly tugging you into bed with bewilderment maring your features. “You should sleep.”

“—what?”

He stared at you blankly, as if expecting you to fall into the land of dreams right that instant.

“Did something prompt,” you slipped your arms out from underneath the duvets, gesturing wildly, “this?”

It was hard to be upset with Jean, his clueless but genuine persona the reason why you fell for him, yet you couldn’t disguise the irritation coursing through your veins—you had work to return to, after all.

“I think you need to rest, mademoiselle.”

Your blinking made him avert his eyes, explaining quietly, “I am uncertain what supports your release of tension, so I thought that perhaps sleeping could help since it certainly does show affect with Napoleon.”

“Ah, and you made me hot chocolate since that’s what calms Mozart.”

After internally simping for his soft and wholesome dumbass energy, you pulled him to bed beside you, claiming that it would help you relax (but only after telling him that it was okay for him to ask for your preferences)

And falling asleep to the heartbeat underneath his broad chest is definitely a 5-star-resort vacation

He’d eventually ask his relationship advisor Napoleon whether it is okay to have you help them out with his reading/writing lessons (you

You, alongside Napoleon, steadily agreed, despite knowing that it was a ploy to keep you away from overworking

Please also love this boy, thanks

Tag List of the most wonderful sweethearts (just message me if you’d like to be added <3): @juminly @kisara-16 @sweetlittlemouse @thesirenwashere @nad-zeta @delicateikemenmemes

[notmrskennedy]

Professor, pt 1

A/N - so i heard from like four of you which is enough to warrant me posting drafts that weren’t supposed to see the light of day - ANYWAY this was originally written in third person and let me tell you it takes a ridiculous amount of effort to change tenses like holy hell. 

(Technically the prequel Friendliness but can stand alone if you really want it to. There’s a part two to this so watch out for that tomorrow.)

Summary - Spencer meets a professor and falls in love for a few hours

W/C - 2k

Warnings - none-ish? there’s a small smattering of violence and horrible changing of the tenses 

-----

Spencer can’t help the irony that he’s in a freshman college class for the first time ever while protecting one of the students. Who knew that a tiny club of DnD players could incite so much rage out of an un-sub? So here he was, trying to blend in—even though he’s 25, he still looks 14 and there’s really no real reason why he should be worried about being caught—in order to protect a freshman who was more pimple than male specimen. 

Joesph—the poor kid in question—takes a seat in the front row and Spencer’s obligated to sit within tackling distance, though he hopes it won’t come to that. Hopefully, Morgan will have the kid the un-sub goes for and Spencer can just enjoy being in college again. The painfully familiar auditorium seats, the stale air, and bad fluorescents feel more like home than he cares to admit. 

College hadn’t been all too unpleasant. High school he’d gotten picked on mercilessly. College, however, had meant getting doted on by hot sorority girls and earning the protection of frat boys—they’d picked up rather quickly that he knew football strategy better than they did after Spencer had hustled a TV and 400 dollars from them. Sure, he didn’t drink, but every single drunk teenager had welcomed him with open arms and lots of ginger ale. 

There’s chatter and for the ten minutes before class starts, Spencer is torn between trying to figure out which song is quietly playing around the room and watching for a particularly rage-filled college student serial killer. Instead, he just finds too many bored faces. Most of the kids are drinking coffee like the best of them and he’s itching for his next fix just looking at it. 

The first two rows: a terrible vantage point to be profiling, but a beautifully defensible post. He watches absently as one of the TAs, who looks a little younger than him, organizes three stacks of papers on the front desk and flips through several different pages on the podium. His attention is focused solely on you for nearly a minute too long—he can hear the voice in his head chastising him for how often he gets distracted by pretty people. 

You look of the fragile sort, the in-the-lab kind of future scientist. There’s something about you that’s captivating. It might be the way you keep reorganizing the papers to perfection or maybe it’s the way you study the room so closely. And while he thinks that you might not be able to physically stop someone, you sure look like the kind of person that could crush him in chess. 

He’s 25 and is considering chess as a marriage proposal.  

Joesph shuffles his books around in the seat in front of Spencer and you, the beautiful TA in question, hold a watch up as you move to the centre of the room. Class is starting. Class is starting and he’s hopeful the professor never actually shows up. 

He notices your watch is on your right wrist—are you left handed?—as you smile widely and clap her hands together. First day jitters seem to keep everyone silent, waiting on baited breath for you to start. Spencer would stay on baited breath for the rest of his life for you. You were utterly captivating after all—he could see the drool from several students’ mouths a few seats over. 

“This is Anthropology 101,” you announce. “If this isn’t your class, you’re free to leave. Or stay if you want. Did you guys know that anxiety disorders affect more than 40 million US adults? Or 1 in 5, I guess, if you want the easier pill to swallow.”

Spencer’s heart jumps into his throat and he wants to raise his hand just to ask you to marry him. 

“Anyway,” you sigh, leaning back agains the front desk, “I spit out a lot of facts. Usually something that begins with ‘did you know’ won’t be on the tests. I try to be fair. Which brings us to ice breakers.”

The class collectively groans. You scoff. 

“Oh hush, I’m the only one doing the ice breakers so chill out. Jeez.” Spencer waits patiently for your soft breath and then your further announcement of, “I’m officially Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, but that’s like only if my boss comes in or for any emails you send. You can call me Y/N because that’s like normal. I got my doctorate in forensic anthropology a year ago and I’ve been teaching since I started grad school three years ago. You’re in safe hands, I promise.”

He almost kicks himself. You’re the professor. How many times had he been nearly kicked out of a classroom when he was in grad school for saying he was the professor? How many times had he been 18 and trying to get an ounce of respect for himself? 

You continue, waving your hands about like you could pull your ideas back down to earth. “Um—a fun fact about me is that I am not welcome in certain parts of the world for ‘violating’ what are called exhumation laws, which is silly in my opinion. I had the legal right to carry that head on the plane and—and I hope you did the reading because there’s a first day pop quiz.”

The entire class lets out one simultaneous frustrated whine that alights something almost wicked in your eyes. You wave over two students from the other end of the front row and they begin passing out test papers as you explain. 

“You’ll have a total of fifteen minutes to answer ten questions. We’ll start on my mark. If you have any trouble, give me a shout and I’ll help you out. After this, we’ll go over the syllabus and if you’re lucky, leave early.”

Spencer’s passed a test and immediately notices there’s no place for a name. Just a bolded “Student #21” at the top. Another girl raises the question and you snicker. “I like puzzles,” is the only answer you give before the time starts. 

Question four: what are the top three songs you’ve been listening to? Please list.

Question six: why are you taking this class?

A: This is a requirement

B: I heard it was easy

C: I heard the professor was hot

D: I really enjoy anthropology! (liar)

Question nine: Creationism or Evolution?

Question ten: Quickly. If you were going to have dinner, would it be with Bill or Hillary Clinton?

Spencer can’t hide the grin he’s got the entire test. It’s all ridiculous get-to-know-you questions. He can tell what merit you’re getting out of them. There’s one judging study habits, one judging religion, feminism, politics—you’ve created her own little innocuous questionnaire. Spencer was sure the students would just think you were strange, but he saw the cleverness. 

Spencer also notices that once you notice him, you don’t stop noticing him. He wonders what you see. You’re so obviously profiling him that it hurts. Do you see the FBI agent? The scholar? The doctor? The drug addict? The man in a boy’s skin?

Your timer beeps and you shout for pencils down. Your makeshift TAs are dispatched to collect the papers and you make the stacks perfect when they make it to the desk. You move to the whiteboard, a set of papers clutched in your hand, and lean against it to address the class. 

“Test go alright?” your grin is contagious and Spencer can’t help but mirror it. You glance at Spencer, turns back to the class, and tuck your hair behind your ear. You let the class chatter on for a moment, setting the papers down on the table, and readjust the undone cuffs of your white button down. He never thought that a sweater vest and jeans could look so hot. 

You smirk and check your watch one more time. “Let’s talk about tests because I know you all have questions. Everything on the test is either written on the board, on the notes, or in the study guide—if you fail after that, come to office hours. I’ve got Advil for the hangovers.”

#

Thankfully, Joesph is one of those students who has to speak to every single one of his professors. Spencer waits patiently behind the kid, trying to keep the smell from the lack of deodorant just out of range. 

He keeps a hard gaze on all of the students moving in and out of the auditorium. There’s nothing to see, just a lot of students with a lot of normal college apathy. No anger, no serial killer, no one to tackle. 

“Sometimes the BO is worse than a corpse’s expulsion of gas,” you joke from your place atop the desk. Spencer looks up, and furrows his eyebrows as his brain processes. Your face falls for a split second, but your curiosity replaces it just as quickly. Joesph’s jaw hits the floor, stumbling for some way to explain himself or maybe some half decent way to insult the pretty professor. 

Spencer laughs, probably a little more than he should have, considering he wasn’t supposed to out himself as an FBI agent. You tuck your hair behind your ear again and, for someone younger than 25, you are surprisingly wide eyed with perception and curiosity. 

“Do you like puzzles, Doctor—“

“Reid,” he supplies, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. “Spencer.”

You raise an eyebrow, chewing on your bottom lip in contemplation. You turn your focus back to Joesph—a boy worse at talking to those scoring higher than an 8 than Spencer was at the same age. “So, Joesph, why does the good doctor need to be within tackling distance of you?”

Joesph flounders, turns to hide his blush, and yelps like God himself has come down to kick him in the ass. Spencer takes one good look at the 18 year old girl charging towards a pimple of a boy and he launches before he can give much consideration to how much its going to hurt. 

But between the noticing and the launching, he makes a list: she’s got so much black eyeliner that Emily’s high school yearbook photos would be jealous; she’s about to inflict about a 9 on the pain scale if she’s left to her plan; there’s obviously no plan other to scratch Joesph’s eyes out; her nails are the size of tiger claws and Spencer desperately wishes he had a better pain tolerance; there’s no weapon. 

The tackle takes seconds. It’s a practised movement. Roll. Knee. Handcuffs. The girl is screaming and crying and kicking and biting. His arm’s on fire and she’s struggling enough that it’s taking more than ten seconds to get the handcuffs on. 

It’s calculated as he presses his knee harder into her back. She yelps and stills long enough that Spencer closes the handcuffs on her tiny, sliced up wrists. The cutting explains some things…

“Hence the tackling distance,” You sum up, bending down just slightly to look the killer in the face. Your nose wrinkles. “You had very distinct ideas on the cultural value of suicide.”

Spencer shakes his head, hauls the girl to her feet, and beckons for Joesph to follow. The entire world falls out of view as he manhandles the girl into an easy walk. The students step to the side to gawk, and he’s thankful for the wide berth. If someone got hurt, the paperwork alone—

“It was nice meeting you, Dr. Reid!” you call and he glances back over his shoulder. You’re waving around the stack of papers in your arms, utterly ridiculous, terribly adorable. He hopes his smile is more suave than love sick, but the fleeting flirtation is especially over when Miss Unchecked Rage kicks out as Joesph comes into her line of sight. 

Spencer throws his whole weight into keeping her down. There’s no room to fall in love after a day. Especially with someone on a college campus halfway across the country from him. There’s even less room to manoeuvre Miss Eyeliner even without Joesph waddling into her eye line every few seconds. Seriously, he thinks, how hard is it to keep behind me?

[quicksilversquared]

The Wavering Peahen: Chapter 8

When Nathalie started feeling oddly ill again, both she and Gabriel were worried that the Peacock Miraculous might somehow (impossibly) be to blame again.

So naturally, they pick someone else to be the Peacock for a bit. You know, as a test subject. Except the new Peacock… doesn’t exactly know that.

links in the reblog

Lila groaned as she woke up. Everything was sore, sore, sore and shifting- however barely- in her bed made it worse. Something- a bedspring?- was stabbing her in the back, and she must have forgotten to take some bracelets off or something because there was definitely something on her wrists. She opened her eyes, about to sit up, and then froze.

Because this was all wrong.

She wasn't in her room, not at all. Maybe the room was mostly dark, but the light filtering in from the window and from the hallway was enough for Lila to see bare white walls, a large lack of furniture, and a couple of machines at her bedside. Lila bolted upright, her eyes flashing around the room, but nothing changed.

She was definitely in a hospital.

Frowning, Lila tried to remember how she had gotten here. Had she fallen at school? Maybe she would be able to pin it on Marinette. Or- no, she remembered what had happened. She had been at their class picnic and had been feeling a bit ill. She had been following Rose to get a container to put her food in, since she hadn't felt like eating, and then- then-

And then there had been nothing. She must have fainted. Presumably someone had called for an ambulance then, and from there she ended up at the hospital.

Lila scowled. So much for her photos being the star of the day. Clearly she should have faked a text from her mom about a last-minute trip and left before everyone started eating. Then she could have gone home and laid down and slept off whatever bug she had, she would have had an opportunity to have another story, and she wouldn't have completely shot herself in the foot by making her collapse the story of the day.

Maybe she could spin it? Lila didn't know how- her head still hurt a bit, probably from hitting the ground- but a hospitalization surely meant that her mom would let her take a couple days off from school. That should be enough time for her to come up with something halfway believable.

And speaking of her mom... Lila scowled around the room. She could see a chair for visitors to sit in next to her bed, but it was empty. What, was a visit to the hospital not enough to get her mom to come in and make sure that her precious daughter to visit her? Lila would have thought that her mom would have dropped everything and rushed to her side at once.

Maybe she was just visiting with the doctors or something. That must be it. Yes, she would be talking to the doctors and making sure that they were running every test that might be needed to done to figure out what was wrong with Lila. Maybe they were going over results now- except no, results already would mean that Lila had been out for a while. And since there was no reason for her to have been out for a while- she knew enough to know that fainting and being out for more than a couple of minutes wasn't good, and being out for hours was even worse- that meant that results already was doubtful.

Lila shifted, frowning. Okay, so maybe her mom was probably with the doctor. Fine. Great. But why was she all alone in her room? Surely they didn't normally bring in unconscious people, plop them in a bed- a really uncomfortable bed, by the way, did they never replace these mattresses or something?- and then leave them on their own? Really, there should be some nurses hovering around, waiting for Lila to wake up so that they could explain what was going on. Instead, they had let Lila wake up in the dark and by herself.

It was poor customer service, really. Lila was definitely going to leave a terrible review for them. Seriously, wasn't it Hospital 101 to not leave patients alone? Lila was going to get up and go find someone now, so that they could tell her what was going on and find her mom for her-

Lila froze, her legs swung over the side of the bed. The movement had made her head swim, but that wasn't what had given Lila pause. No, the thing- things- that had stopped her in her tracks were the handcuffs snapped around her wrists.

What?

Why- why would she be handcuffed to her bed? That made no sense! Lila frantically wracked her brains, trying to make sense of what was going on. Why would anyone arrest her? She hadn't done anything wrong- well, nothing that would warrant her getting arrested.

Well. Except for being Pavona, but how would anyone have found that out? She hadn't transformed outside of her house for over a week, and she had always been careful when she transformed and detransformed. Maybe one of the doctors had found the pin on her- but no, nobody would actually recognize it. It would just look like a pretty pin. She would be worried about Duusu exposing himself to someone to get her in trouble, but she had ordered him not to do that. As far as she could tell, Duusu couldn't expose himself to others without her permission.

So what was going on?

Scowling, Lila yanked at the chains, part of her expecting that the cuffs were just a figment of her imagination, maybe, or maybe just a dream. The metal bit into her wrists, though, assuring Lila that they were, in fact, real.

Lila kicked her bedframe, then let out a curse at the pain that shot up her leg. Someone had better come to explain what was going on now. She- she couldn't- there was no way that she was in trouble, there had to be some other explanation for this-

The unmistakable sound of a key in the door lock caught Lila's attention, and her head whipped up. At once, she shifted back to recline against her pillows, working a pleasant look onto her face.

She didn't know how much people knew. She didn't know why she was in handcuffs- not for sure. It would be better to play innocent and see if she could still twist things in her favor.

No, not if. How she could best twist things in her favor. Lila would not admit defeat.

The lock gave, and three figures entered. One flicked the light on- Lila squinted against the unpleasant glare, doing her best to not screw up her face and look mad or something. She had to play the part of a misunderstood girl who got framed for- well, for something.

Hopefully the nurse and officers approaching her bed now would give something away.

"Ah, I see you're awake," the nurse told Lila. She didn't smile, which- uh, weren't nurses supposed to smile, to set their patients at ease? This hospital was really earning a terrible review. "I had wondered if the heroes maybe pulled the healing too early, but it looks like they timed it just right."

"Well, they are the experts," the first officer said before turning his attention to Lila. His gaze wasn't the least bit friendly. "So. Pavona. You're awake. Now- we have questions."

  Nothing that Lila said could persuade the officers who visited her at the hospital that she hadn't been Pavona, much to her displeasure. The Peacock had been found on her when she collapsed- all of the questioning in the world couldn't make the police officers tell her who had found the Peacock and actually been able to identify it- and the superheroes had been contacted. Duusu- the absolute traitor- had somehow managed to confirm Lila's identity plus Hawkmoth and Mayura's identities, so now all three of the city's former superheroes were in prison, or- in Lila's case- on her way there.

(Lila hoped that they would be at different facilities. She had been the one to set off the chain of events that had resulted in his arrest- even if it had been accidental and not her fault, since he hadn't told her that the Miraculous was broken!- and he knew who she was. That alone was a little scary, but she wasn't going to admit that. Much.)

(Okay, maybe she would play up her fear in front of the judge. Maybe she would get off easier if she told him that she was so frightened of what Hawkmoth- who, by the way, no one had told her his actual identity yet, even though she had asked- would do to her or her mom that she had had no option. If she could play things up for pity...yes, that could work.)

For the time being, though, Lila had to suffer through the indignity of actually going to jail after she got released from the hospital. Her holding cell thankfully wasn't terrible- but it also was a cell in the jail's medical center, and she wasn't going to be there forever, just until the doctors thought that she was more stable.

More stable, or at least until they were convinced that she wasn't going to pass out at random and get injured. Since the only way Lila was going to heal from the damage that the broken Miraculous had done to her body was by wearing the fixed Miraculous and the superheroes wouldn't let her wear it now that she was out of her coma, she wasn't really going to get better.

(Lila had a whole bunch of opinions about that and how it wasn't really superhero-y to make their former enemies suffer just out of spite, but it was probably in her best interest to not actually vocalize that yet.)

The trial started pretty quickly after she was discharged from the hospital. Apparently she had been in a coma for several months (which, uh, talk about yikes), which had allowed enough time for evidence to get collected and organized and for a trial- a jury trial- to be pulled together.

Lila had had a hard time not reacting to that particular bit of news when the lawyer that her mom hired had told her. She knew that jury trials only happened in France for the most serious of crimes, ones that tended to have really long sentences.

(That- that was terrifying. Lila didn't want to spend the rest of her days rotting behind bars. But she had a good lawyer- her mom had made sure of it- so that wasn't very likely, right? Right?)

Once the trial started, it didn't take long for the court to establish that there was no doubt about whether or not Lila had been Pavona. The fact that the Peacock Miraculous had been found on her (Lila still didn't know who had found it- the name, for some reason, was annoyingly staying redacted) and the cursed coma that she had fallen into that had only been undone by her wearing the fixed Peacock pin were conclusive enough evidence. Lila's lawyer had advised her before the trial to not try to fight that part of the accusation, because the evidence was just too strong. There was no way that the Peacock would have helped her if she had fallen ill for some reason.

That meant that Lila's only hope would be for a reduced sentence, and that would be based entirely on if she could argue that her participation was forced and not entirely willing. If she could convince the jury, then Lila should be golden.

It was a good thing that Lila's biggest talent was lying and convincing others of things that were entirely untrue.

The prosecutor watched her critically as she stepped up to the stand for the first time in the trial, everything about him screaming strict and severe. This wasn't someone who was about to believe her, no matter what she said. Lila felt herself waver for a moment, but she forced herself to stand up straight. This was no time to show weakness. Not real weakness, at any rate. Manufactured weakness... that was another thing altogether. She had an audience, and she had to play to it.

"Ms. Rossi. Your lawyer claimed that you were intimidated into accepting this position, but we have audio evidence of you willingly agreeing to help Hawkmoth. Care to explain?"

Lila very nearly gulped at that- audio? Hawkmoth had gotten audio of her agreeing to be Pavona? What a slimy, stinking asshole- but years of practice with lying helped her keep a straight face. Her mind raced, working to come up with an excuse, but she was coming up blank. Time to buy herself some time. "Audio? What- what audio? If there was real audio, it would show that I was terrified!"

The prosecutor looked unimpressed. "The audio has already been analyzed by a voice expert and has declared your voice and the one in the recording to be a match. We can call Dr. Hillary Blanc to the witness stand after this, your Honor."

The judge nodded. "That would be preferable. But for now- I would like to hear this recording before we continue with our questioning."

"Of course, your Honor."

Lila's attorney gestured for her to return to her seat as the prosecution set up their audio. He looked rather irritated as she sat down next to him, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Audio of Lila agreeing willingly- eagerly, she knew how she had sounded when she took the Miraculous- was going to make his job a million times harder.

It was also going to make Lila's job a million times harder. She was the one with the rest of her life on the line, really, and she needed to be able to argue her way out of the corner.

"The audio is ready," the prosecutor announced. The judge nodded.

"Proceed."

The prosecutor nodded, pressing a button to start the audio. There was the sound of a window opening, and then the unmistakable sound of Lila's voice eagerly greeting Hawkmoth, offering up the information that her mother was asleep and they were alone. And then-

"So, uh, how can I help you? Do you need an akuma with specific powers or something? I can do that!"

-the eager, oh-so-willing offer to help Hawkmoth. She didn't just sound willing to do it, she sounded positively bursting with enthusiasm to help out a supervillain.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. But Lila could still get out of this, she was sure. Lila's mind whirred, and almost immediately landed on an idea.

No one would be able to prove that she was lying, of that Lila was positive. Her idea was foolproof.

Well. Hopefully.

Lila plastered what she hoped was an appropriately shocked and confused look on her face as the recording went on. She forced herself to ignore the jurors on their bench, considering her with increasing disdain as the recording went on and Lila sounded nothing short of enthusiastic and eagerly consenting to Hawkmoth's suggestion.

She couldn't let their current opinions put her off. She had an idea to discredit the recording- or at the very least, throw a healthy amount of doubt on it- and after that, hopefully they would change their minds about her.

"Where was this recording found?" the judge asked once the audio came to an end. "And by whom?"

"In Mr. Agreste's office, by the police," the prosecutor told him. "They have the original recording, this is a copy."

"Okay." The judge's eyes swung to Lila. "Ms. Rossi, back to the stand. Please explain this recording."

"That's not even close to what happened!" Lila exclaimed once she had dashed back up to the stand, pressing a hand to her chest earnestly as she turned her eyes to the judge and the jurors. "He must have faked it- and I bet I even know how! The Peacock makes sentimonsters, everyone knows that. He's impersonated people before- he impersonated Ladybug, everyone knows that! He must have done that to make the recording."

There was a pause.

"How was Hawkmoth meant to do that when you had the Peacock?" the prosecutor asked tartly. She narrowed her eyes at Lila. "This sounds like another weak excuse."

"He probably made the recording before he gave me the Peacock." Lila bit back the obviously. There was no point in irritating anyone in the courtroom. If she could get this excuse to work, then she could maybe get off with a lighter sentence. Her reputation in Paris would still be toast, but if she just got a rap on the wrist for being a supervillain under duress, maybe she and her mom could move and she could start rebuilding her life once her sentence was over. If this didn't work, then it was game over. "He had to know that I wouldn't be fully willing, but he wanted to be ready to stab me in the back as soon as possible. He-" Lila faked a half-sob, pressing a hand to her lips. "I was in too deep before I could figure out how to fix it, and then he kept threatening to hurt me or my mom if I tried to get out of it. He said that he would tell everybody who I was!"

There was a pause. The judge, Lila was glad to see, finally looked a bit unsure, as did most of the jury. Fantastic.

"Why should we believe that?" the prosecutor asked after a moment. "Lila Rossi has a history of lying, her record shows that. She lies to get out of consequences and to get others in trouble and for her own gain."

"But you do have to consider that there is a possibility of the tape being faked," Lila's attorney argued, finally- finally!- making himself useful and speaking up. "There is magic at play here, and you have to admit that Mr. Agreste is a cunning businessman. He is a planner. It would not have been out of character to do exactly as Ms. Rossi described. After all, he handed a broken Miraculous to a minor for her to use without warning her of the consequences of using it."

"The defense has a good point," the judge agreed, though the reluctance was clear on his face. "I suppose we should ask the superheroes if there is a way to prove the authenticity of the recording and if not..."

He trailed off, clearly unsure. Lila forced herself not to visibly preen. Her lie had landed perfectly. She couldn't relax yet, though. Any slip-ups now could ruin her lie and put her right back on square one.

"We clearly need time to review the evidence and pull in more experts," the judge decided after a moment. "We will adjourn for the day."

Lila smiled.

  Lila had been feeling pretty proud of herself for the rest of the day and overnight, doing her best not to smirk when she thought about the fast one that she had just pulled on the judge. Maybe they didn't fully believe her, not yet, but she had gotten the audio recording all but thrown out in court. Without it, she should have a much easier time in getting her sentence argued down to a small slap.

A small slap would be irritating, but not the end of the world. Lila could work with that.

And then she had walked into the court room the next day to see Ladybug and Chat Noir waiting, Duusu floating serenely above Ladybug's shoulder. Next to them sat Alya, who gave Lila a disgusted look when she spotted her.

Lila hadn't been expecting them. What were they supposed to add to the trial?

Oh, right. The judge had suggested that they pull in the experts on the Miraculous, as if they weren't just a bunch of kids themselves. They weren't experts, they just happened to have superpowers. That, and they got lucky in battles a lot, and really, the whole supervillain downfall was just one big stroke of luck for them. It wasn't as though Ladybug and Chat Noir had somehow outwitted the supervillains or something.

Just like every other day, all of the jurors filed in, followed by the judge. Lila suffered through all of the opening formalities- seriously, there was so much needless pomp that could just be done away with, it was such a major snoozefest- and then they actually got to the whole arguments bit again.

...in retrospect, the whole trial was just a heap of suffering through endless formalities and arguments and blah blah blahs. Lila would say that she would rather be anywhere else, but...

Well, for her, the only other place that she would be was at the jail, in her cell. That was boring, too, but at least Lila could get up and walk around and not have to pretend to be all apologetic and sweet all the time.

"Before we start, I want to say that Duusu cannot be recorded by either cameras or microphones," Ladybug told the courtroom once she was called on. "It's just the nature of kwamis. Machines can't record them."

The judge nodded, flashing a smile- a smile!- at Ladybug. "Thank you for that heads-up, Ladybug. We will ensure that we give enough time between questions for our court recorder to get everything that, ah, Duusu says."

"We also brought video evidence from the battles that Pavona joined in person," Ladybug spoke up again. She gestured to Alya. "Most of these clips came from the Ladyblog, though we got permission to also grab footage from several news stations. Alya Cesare here has compiled all of the clips for easy viewing."

"And what are these clips supposed to prove that we didn't already know?" Lila's attorney demanded. "We already know that she had the Miraculous, that's nothing new."

Alya stood up, very deliberately not looking at Lila. "All of these clips show that Pavona seemed to have her whole heart in the battle. She was fighting to the best of her ability-" her lips twitched, but she didn't add any commentary to that- "which you wouldn't expect from someone who was only fighting because she was being forced to."

"We will review the evidence," the judge told her. "Thank you."

"Objection to both!" Lila's attorney called. "How are we supposed to know that this kwami will tell the truth? And the videos- that's very subjective."

"We have also pulled in several behavioral experts to watch the videos and then give us their independent analysis of the body language in them," the prosecutor told the courtroom. "They can step outside while the others are giving their analysis to prevent them from influencing each other. All of the experts have been previously used by the court to review video before, and all have been deemed to give impartial analysis."

The judge nodded, looking pleased. "Fantastic."

"Objection," Lila's attorney called out again. "The clips could already have a bias to them. They've been picked out deliberately to push a narrative."

The prosecutor smirked. "We also have compiled all known footage of Pavona in battles. If the defense would prefer, we can present that rather than the cut version."

The judge turned to Lila's attorney. "Is that acceptable?"

Lila's attorney nodded, though he didn't look happy about it. "It is. Though- again, there is the matter of if this kwami can be trusted to tell the truth. We don't know enough about them to be sure."

The judge turned back to Ladybug. "Is there a way to address that?"

"There is." Ladybug smiled up at the judge, clearly fully at ease. She held up the Peacock Miraculous. "I thought that the best way to approach this would be to have a neutral party wear the pin- referring to you, of course, your Honor. Kwamis have to answer questions that their wielders ask honestly, to the best of their ability. If they don't know or cannot say, they will say as much." She held up another pin. "I also brought the Butterfly Miraculous, in case you wish to talk to both kwamis."

The judge looked surprised, then nodded and addressed Lila's attorney. "Mr. Nelson, does that address your concerns?"

Lila's attorney looked as though he had swallowed a lemon. "It does, your Honor."

Lila bit back her scowl. Stupid overly-prepared superheroes. How did they somehow think of everything? Couldn't they just let go of the issue for once and let Lila off? They could consider the social ostracization and complete destruction of her social status as her punishment.

"Approach, then," the judge told Ladybug. "We might as well start with talking to Duusu. Then we can let you and Chat Noir go on your way while we review the footage from the battles. You two have already spent plenty of time in courtrooms this summer."

Ladybug smiled and nodded, hopping to her feet and approaching the desk. She handed over the brooch, and the judge pinned it to his robes. Once Ladybug had sat down again, he addressed Duusu. "Please move to the witness stand."

"Of course!" Duusu zipped over, hovering in front of the microphone. "I'm ready when you are!"

Lila's eyes narrowed at the kwami. The airheadedness and naivety were nowhere to be seen as the little kwami replied to the judge's questions. Duusu seemed fully with it and sharp as a needle as he gave his answers. Lila had never seen the kwami act like that before, which begged the question of why.

Did the kwami switch personalities depending on the holder? No, that didn't make sense. There was no reason for any kwami under Lila's control to be an airhead. Which meant that he must have been acting when he was with Lila. All of the questions, all of the playing dumb, all of the forcing her to actually explain what she was doing, all of the ticking her off...

The little asshole must have been doing it deliberately.

In her seat, Lila silently fumed. She had put up with Duusu's ditzy personality for weeks, assuming that it was the kwami's nature and that couldn't be changed. The questions had nearly driven her up the wall- had driven her up the wall- and it had been entirely on purpose.

Lila bit back her scowl, slumping back in her seat and tuning Duusu out. It didn't really matter what exactly Duusu said, after all. Lila knew that he had to tell the truth, and the truth was that she had joined Hawkmoth willingly and eagerly, no blackmail needed on his part. She had wanted to see the superheroes defeated, and that was all the motivation that she had needed.

There was still all of the battle footage to go through, but by now Lila knew that all of her escapes were closing off. The evidence was piling up against her too fast, and the dark looks that Lila had been getting from the jury spoke volumes. The judge was asking Duusu about Lila's lies now, and it wouldn't be long before everyone in the room knew how to pick out Lila's manipulations and lies, and all of her attempts to control the narrative would be shot down immediately.

Now all she could hope was that the judge went easy on her sentencing.

  It was no surprise when the jury came back and announced her guilty on all counts. The sentencing, though...

Lila had come up with a whole slew of scenarios, all sorts of outcomes from the best (no charges) to the more realistic yet still optimistic (charges for being Pavona but reduced because of being pressured into it), then slightly less optimistic, all the way up to what she had thought was a worst case scenario.

This was way worse that her worst case scenario. Way, way worse.

Lila sank back into her chair, staring blankly at nothing as everyone around her started packing up, the prosecuting team chatting cheerfully with each other while Lila's side of the room- Lila's mom and her lawyer- silently gathered up their things. Fifty years? That was forever! Wasn't there supposed to be some leniency for crimes done by underage kids? Like, her brain wasn't fully developed yet or whatever and she was supposed to be more prone to stupid decisions and everything. Surely she should be getting, like, juvenile detention. A permanent mark on her record. Maybe a couple of years of jail once she aged out of juvie.

She had been right about getting sent to juvie. The courts weren't about to send her to an adult prison when she was so much younger than most of the prisoners there, and besides, she had school to finish. Lila would be going to juvenile detention until she was 18, and after that...

Prison. Years and years and years of prison. Way more than Lila had ever expected.

She was going to be old and grey by the time she got out. Old and grey and with a completely destroyed reputation. Lila was basically going to be condemned to be in the poorhouse once she got out, which-

That wasn't what she had envisioned for her future. Not even close.

As the officers came up to collect her so that they could head back to the jail, Lila clenched her fist. Her entire future was gone, just like that. All of her dreams of schmoozing with famous people and marrying rich were destroyed. Just because- because-

Because Hawkmoth hadn't warned her about the side effects of the Miraculous. Because he had asked her to use the Peacock instead of just using her as a frequent akuma, willing to take on whatever shape and powers he wanted. Because Ladybug had been an infuriating interfering busybody who couldn't leave people alone and had to stick her nose where it didn't belong, when Lila's lies hadn't been hurting anyone.

Lila bit back her snarl. She wished that she had never come to Paris. She wished that she had never heard of superheroes. If things had gone one tiny bit differently...

This was all Ladybug's fault. If she hadn't interfered, Lila wouldn't have had to retaliate. And now..

Now her life was ruined.

[nanami-says]

Part III (1/2): chapters 19-25

Vs. Mahito Arc

Chapter 19 (aka why this blog exists)

J:”Yeah, we know that. But we flatter her because she looks easy.”

⇒ ”And the three of them know it as well. But they flatter you exaggeratedly anyway because they think you’ll let them do you”

Actually Junpei’s lines.

J:”I can’t believe people like that go to my school.”

Not incorrect, I just want to point out that Junpei didn’t just say “people”, the word he used is “race” (人種）, which implies he doesn’t see them as the same kind of human he is.

J:”Was it that guy who did it? There’s no way a person could do that! If he did it, he must not be human.”

⇒ “Was it that person just now? No, would such a thing be even possible for a human being? And if it was, would they really be a ‘human being’?”

Overall correct but the flow was different. Mind you, 人 can be translated both as “person” and “human being” (among others) depending on the context. Imo this captures the nuance better but YMMV!

N:”I’m here to identify the truth and uphold the law. There was a time when I thought the society had the same goals”

⇒ ”Adapting to the facts [in front of you] and managing yourself accordingly. That’s who I am. There was a time where I mistakenly believed society operated on the same basis.”

This was really hard to translate, especially since the phrase Nanami uses here is rather formal language. I actually checked the official anime subtitles for this one and they went with “I adhere to the facts and judge on that basis”, which I guess is close enough? I’d probably go with it as well if not for the fact that he doesn’t just say 律す�� but 己を律する (己/onore = I/me in humble language).

Seems like the exact meaning of the phrase is difficult to understand even for Japanese people - there are whole articles out there breaking down the meaning and giving examples of how to implement it in life 8D Anyway, the simplest explanation is “to control yourself”, with further nuance of “enforcing rules on yourself in order to achieve a goal”, “restricting your desires and impulses by your own will” etc.

Thanks a lot, Gege.

Btw, Ino, who respects Nanami greatly and considers him a mentor, actually uses the same phrase, word for word, in ch. 95! (事実に即し、己を律する) That’s how important it is. Also, continuity!

Y:”Let’s do it!”

N:”There’s no need to get excited”

⇒ Y:“Let’s go all out!!”

 N:”No, if moderate’s enough, let’s just do it moderately”

They both used descriptors for just what kind of intensity they should approach the mission with. Imo, an important distinction because after they learn the full extent of the situation, Nanami takes back his words from this moment and agrees with Yuuji, going as far as to use the same words Yuuji did here.

N:”I wonder what others would think hearing you say that”

⇒ “I’m sure the others wouldn’t want to hear that from you [of all people]”

So not so much “don’t be rude” as “dude, you’re the weirdest of them all”. Emphasis mine.

N:”What I learned at Jujutsu High is that jujutsu sorcerers are idiots” 

& “What I realized while at the office is that work is idiotic”

He actually says “shit” both times lol. If it was just the humour that suffered here, it still wouldn’t be too awful but unfortunately it’s not just that. The “sorcerers are shit” line gets recalled when Nanami’s facing death, trapped in Mahito’s domain, which makes it pretty damn important. It gets translated yet differently by the official release then, too, which further damages continuity I believe Gege intended for this.

”So I took the lesser of two evils. Nothing more, nothing less”

⇒ “If both are shit, then I just chose the one I’m more cut out for. That’s all as far as the reason for my coming back is concerned.”

I mean, if we realllllly insist on watering down everything that Nanami says (as JJK translators apparently did), then the basic meaning was conveyed but the original wording and nuance was closer to what I proposed.

N:”Prove to me that you can be useful in spite of the demon Sukuna inside of you”

⇒ “Give your best to prove that you’re useful despite carrying the bomb that Sukuna is.”

Considering how 2 pages later Nanami tells Yuuji that he’s not the one Yuuji should be proving himself to, it’d have been weird if this is actually what he’d said, wouldn’t it. But Nanami’s nothing if not reasonable, so that wasn’t the case.

Y:”I’m weak and useless. I’ve been hearing a lot of that these days”

⇒ “That I’m weak and useless... I’ve been realising that to a painful extent these days”

“I’ve been hearing it” would imply that someone was actually saying it either to Yuuji himself or to others which he was aware of. (I mean, other than Sukuna.) The original wording doesn’t really hold such connotation.

N:”If you think you’re in trouble, let me know”

Y:”Have some faith in me, will ya? Just a little.”

N:”It’s not about faith.(...)”

Y:”A child? I’d rather be underestimated”.

⇒ N:“If you decide you cannot win, please call me.”

Y:”Aren’t you underestimating me too much?”

N:”This is not about ‘underestimating’ or ‘not underestimating’.(...)

Y:”[Even] being underestimated would’ve been better over being treated like a kid.”

I guess the translators wanted to avoid saying “underestimate” 3 times in a row? Albeit that’s what the original does.

More importantly though!!

N:”I’m an adult and you’re a child. I have the obligation to look after you”

⇒ “(...) It’s my obligation to prioritise you over myself.”

Quite a different nuance, right. Not just “I have to look after you” but “your well-being [life] takes priority over my own”.

N:”Experiencing these little losses is what helps people grow into adults”

⇒ “It’s the accumulation of such small despairs that turns people into adults”

Not that wildly different but despairs (hopelessnesses) >>> losses, y/y. Also “helps” made it sound more positive when it’s both a poignant and at the same time dry statement.

Chapter 20

N:”There are techniques that aren’t affected if revealed to certain enemies”

Those two feel more like separate examples to me. I.e. that there are techniques that aren’t affected if revealed, and there are some enemies that you can afford to reveal your technique to. Could apply simultaneously but don’t necessarily have to, if that makes sense?

“There is a merit to revealing one’s hand and the rules it initiates. You can make your technique even more effective.”

⇒ “It has its merits too. The ‘binding’ of ‘revealing one’s hand’ amplifies the effectiveness of your technique.”

Wild lost “binding” appears! Like I indicated before, it’s the lack of consistency to translating terms that are consistent in the original, that has negatively affected the fans’ ability to understand the basics of jjk techniques and world-building.

[Explaining Yuuji’s divergent fist]

GJ:”But it’s a lot easier said than done for anyone else.”

⇒ “It’s not something that can be easily done on purpose”

N:”His physical strength is superhuman. The impact of his hit doesn’t have incredibly strong energy, but it’s still about 20% more than a normal sorcerer. That means his delayed hit comes from his main source of cursed energy. It must be quite annoying for those on the receiving end. Such potential. If he’s able to go out all and combine his full physical strength with a cursed technique…”

⇒ “(...) The initial impact contains little cursed energy but it still achieves 120% of an average sorcerer. And then the actual cursed energy hits with a delay. For those on the receiving end it must be more unpleasant than one could imagine. And he’s got potential for growth, too. If he becomes able to add 100% of cursed energy to a 100% body…”

Uhh, this was a tricky one because on the first read it doesn’t seem that terribly wrong but when you read the original carefully, you realise this and that got lost in translation. My version should be closer to the original meaning.

I:”We’re going to have to ask the murderer about the technique”

⇒ “That’s just something that you can’t know unless you ask the offender about their technique”

Obviously Ieiri wasn’t suggesting to literally ask the murderer.

“However there’s evidence the brain stems were modified. Their consciousness were also modified to create a state of confusion”

⇒ (...) This was probably done to create a disturbance of consciousness... a state of mental confusion”

Slightly different nuance for this one.

Y:”For me, the gravity of death is the same regardless. This isn’t right!”

First sentence is mostly correct but it should’ve been “the gravity of death of another person” (emphasis mine).

Second sentence sounds too mild for what is actually Yuuji being super mad specifically about the way those people were killed? The phrase he uses means something like "This is just in way too poor taste”, “way too vulgar” etc. I guess if you went for a less literal translation, you could say “just too disgusting”/”revolting”.

N:”This matter won’t be taken care of so easily. Let’s do it”

⇒ “Looks like ‘moderately’ won’t be enough here. Let’s go all out.”

This is the instance of Nanami retracting his words and backing Yuuji up by borrowing his own words that I mentioned earlier!

M:”Jujutsu sorcerers brand such entities as “special grade potential spirits” and fear them as much as powerful curses. The fact that they categorize them as such really shows their shallowness”

⇒ “Jujutsu sorcerers register them as “special grade potential apparitions” and remain on alert against them [on alert for their appearance]. The same applies to powerful unidentified curses. That they categorise them as ‘potential apparitions’ just shows how little they truly see.”

It’s not that sorcerers fear them per se but that they (most likely) monitor them and are on guard against them. When followed up by the “what people truly genuinely fear are natural disasters [forces of nature]” conversation, it becomes clear that what Mahito scorns sorcerers for is their short-sightedness for thinking all powerful curses must be born out of people’s imagination, ~urban legends~ etc.

[Junpei asking what Mahito was born from]

M:”Thanks to the hatred spewed between people I was born”

⇒ “I’m a curse born out of the fear and hatred people harbour towards [other] people"

or even

“I’m a curse born out of people hating and fearing people”

Again a quite different nuance. They really shouldn’t have edited “fear” out.

Chapter 21

J:’Don’t you think that whoever first said, ‘The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference’ must be rotting in hell? There’s no way hating people is better than feeling indifferent towards them.”

⇒ “(...) There’s no way that approaching others with evil intentions is better than not interacting [with them] at all”

The first sentence is mostly fine although the original doesn’t include the “is not hate” bit, it only says “the opposite of love is indifference”. The second part is quite different. After all, hating doesn’t necessarily imply there’s any action taken.

“Complicating simple things for the sake of meaning is such a Japanese thing to do”

⇒ “Japanese sure love it - complicating simple answers and gloating in it”

I didn’t like the “for the sake of meaning” bit, imo it’s over-interpreting.

J:”Indifference. That’s what humans should strive for.”

M:”Sounds more like revenge”

J:“Are you saying that I got it all mixed up?”

Junpei’s first line here is fine although interestingly enough he puts it as “a virtue humans should strive for”. Then it’s

⇒ M:“And yet you wish for revenge”

J:”Are you trying to say I’m contradicting myself?”

M:”In this world, only I understand the soul’s composition. I can even transmogrify living beings. Emotions come from the soul. It’s too simplistic to call it ‘heart’. People overthink the things they can’t see. (...)”

⇒ “In this world I’m the only one who understands the soul’s composition. After all, I change the shape of living beings by touching it. Emotions are products of the metabolism of the soul. It’s altogether too mechanical [of a process] to call it a heart. People assign too much value to things invisible to the eye.(...)”

Last one is literally “consider ‘special’ way too much”, simpler wording than what I went with but I tried to make it more legible.

The “metabolism of the soul” phrase is especially vital because Junpei throws it at Yuuji almost word for word when confronted by him at the school after his mother’s death.

More philosophy lessons from Mahito-sensei \o/

“Don’t limit yourself to just being indifferent. There’s no reason to live by such a restricting philosophy.”

⇒ “Don’t allow yourself to be shackled by the ideal called ‘indifference’. There’s no need for there to be consistency in one’s way of life.”

Mahito actually takes the “is ‘consistency’ necessary” stance a few times in the manga, including when he and Getou squabble about the relationship between the body and the soul in Shibuya. A pity about the mistranslation here.

“I support everything you represent, Junpei”

⇒ “I’ll affirm your everything, Junpei”

Imo the act of supporting and the act of affirming while similar aren’t one and the same, hence the change.

N:”Either come alone, or risk bringing Itadori with me. I chose the former, nothing more. He’s still a child, after all.”

⇒ “The risk of venturing [into the enemy’s territory] alone, or the risk of bringing Itadori-kun with me. I simply chose the former. He’s still a child, after all.”

Idk, I feel like cutting out “the risk” from the first option makes Nanami sound more callous? Like Yuuji’s a liability and going by himself is a sounder option. Whereas, it was actually him weighing two risks against each other and deciding that potentially endangering Yuuji is the one he can afford less.

[After Yuuji asks why he doesn’t know important jujutsu related stuff.]

I:”Because Gojou’s your mentor.” ⇒ “it’s because Gojou’s ...”

He actually uses a lovely adjective to describe Gojou, which can mean a plethora of things, including: irresponsible, sloppy, lazy, unreliable, careless, perfunctory etc. etc.

Ichiji? Not a member of Gojou Satoru Fanclub.

Y:”This feels like a bad plan”

⇒ “This feels so staged, I don’t like it.”

Lit. “play [perform, read] one's own work”. I think what Yuuji might’ve meant here was that the plan felt dishonest? Second sentence could also be “I don’t feel up for it.”

Chapter 22

M:”Was that some kind of cursed technique?”

N:”What do you mean by ‘some kind’? I don’t appreciate questions that are left open to interpretation”

⇒ “(...) I hate abstract questions that put the whole burden on the other person”

Lit. “that leave it to others”. Other than Nanami being more straightforward with “hate”/”dislike”, I think this was him expressing he doesn’t like people who don’t even try to think for themselves and immediately demand answers from others instead.

“It would be silly to not assume a connection(...)”

⇒ “It would be more unnatural not to assume a connection(...)”

Different wording (unnatural instead of silly), which imo affects Nanami’s characterisation.

M:”The shape of the body will always be dependent on the shape of the soul”

This sounds a bit too passive and generic? Closer to “The shape of the body gets pulled along by the shape of the soul”, which is literally what Mahito’s technique does.

I’m heavily paraphrasing but!

magazine raw scans: ”it's 6:30 PM now and I started working at 11 AM, so I'm going to finish by 7PM no matter what”

official English release:”it's 5:30 PM now and I started at 10, gotta finish by 6”

The time change is so random, I wonder if Gege simply changed it themselves for the volume release. Maybe to bring it closer to the common office job times? Typical Japanese work day at the office begins at 9AM and lasts 8h + 1h break (completely unpaid but compulsory). I guess if Nanami skipped the break then working 10AM-6PM would make it exactly 8h?

The biggest mystery of jjk.

Chapter 23

M:”Even if sorcerers can protect their bodies using cursed energy, they can’t protect their souls”

⇒ “Even if sorcerers can protect their bodies using cursed energy, they [just] aren’t used to protecting their souls”.

So it’s not that they “can’t” as in “are incapable of” and more that there’s never been the need, so they never learned how and aren’t used to doing it. As proven by Yuuji later it’s not impossible.

M:”Overtime? He restricts himself based on time! He was limiting his power until now!”

⇒ “Overtime work? A ‘biding’ based on time! He was suppressing his power by himself until now!”

Another instance where “binding” as a term makes its appearance (it even uses quotation marks) but wasn’t properly denoted by the translators.

M:”A large-scale attack, and he doesn’t care if he gets hit while doing it!”

⇒ “A large-scale attack [done] with the resolve of [potentially] getting killed along with me!”.

The phrase Mahito uses here is 相打ち, lit. “killing [hitting] each other at the same time”. Also, “doesn’t care” and “is prepared/has the resolve” are quite different, aren’t they.

Chapter 24

J:”The way a perfectionist is willing to lay everything out there is beautifully portrayed”

⇒ ”The change in emotions [leading up] to a perfectionist abandoning everything is properly portrayed here”

I’m including this because knowing Gege, it’s not just simple movie talk, and it’s actually foreshadowing Yuuji’s future fate or something 8D

I can’t decide if it’s “abandon” (also “throw out of the window”) or “sacrifice” because the word used can mean either. I’m leaving that to everyone’s interpretation.

“Like I thought, that sorcerer’s nuts!”

⇒ “He doesn’t look it but he sure does reckless things, that sorcerer”

How does "he doesn't look it but (...)" even become "like I thought (...)"? He was laughing at and enjoying the contrast between Nanami's appearance/attitude and his actions/fighting.

M:”My cursed energy is also controlled by my will”

⇒ “The spending of cursed energy too is among things I can supply by myself.”

I’m not entirely sure because it’s a tricky one, so take this one with a grain of salt. But the official release is definitely missing “spending/expenditure” and Mahito isn’t talking about using/manipulating his cursed energy in general but “the amount of cursed energy spent”.

“Mr. Irresponsible Gojou” ⇒  “Devil-may-care Gojou-san”

“Mr. Mature Nanami” ⇒ “The adult of [all] adults Nanami-san”/”the adult above all adults”

I just really enjoy Ichiji and his little epithets, I guess.

J:”Have you ever killed anyone?”

⇒ “Have you ever killed a human being/another human?”

Just putting it out there because imo there's a distinction between “anyone” and “a human being”. Especially considering how much of this arc was questioning what being a human means.

Y:”Um… I mean, the choice to kill will definitely find its way to me”

⇒ "How to put it... once I've killed someone, "killing" would become one of the possible options [to take] in my life".

Maybe the nuance was there in the official release too and I just didn't pick up on it but to me the former makes it sound more like he’s saying "I may still have to kill one day". Whereas the original seems to hold the connotation that if you do something once - even if it’s something as horrible as killing another human being - it becomes easier to do it again in the future because it's a choice you've made before, it's not untouchable anymore.

Chapter 25

[Yuuji expressing his regret over Nanami choosing to go fight Mahito alone.]

"Am I in your way, Nanamin?”

⇒ “Am I a burden [to you], Nanamin?”

A different nuance for this line.

“’My friend died but I wasn’t there because I’m a child.’ I wouldn't do that to you. That said"

⇒ "’My comrade died. But I wasn’t there. Why? Because I am a child.’ I would hate something like that" [to be put in such a position]

And this is just pure mistranslation. The whole “my comrade died but I wasn’t there because I’m a child” line is actually Yuuji painting a possible scenario (he does it with short sentences but the speech is overall polite). What they translated as “that said” was actually a follow-up to that scenario and could be translated as “something like that”.

N:”Being a child is not a bad thing”

⇒ “Being a child is in no way a crime”

I wanted to point this out since the original word’s most common meaning is actually “sin”, which is significantly heavier than just “not a bad thing”. Could also go with a milder “is not something to feel guilty about” here I guess.

G:”How’s the curtain coming along?”

M:”Can’t get in, can get out. This only applies to humans with weak cursed energy.”

⇒ G:”What’s the effect of the ‘curtain’?”

M:“Can't get out from the inside, can get in from the outside. (...)”

Literally the opposite for the curtain’s effect. Emphasis is Gege’s, too! Also Getou’s question was actually about how exactly the curtain in question would work, and not just how it was coming along.

M:”We’ll make them fight and force Yuji Itadori to make a binding vow in Sukuna’s favor”

Just to reiterate, whenever “binding vow” appears, it’s actually just “binding”.

[to part iii (2/2)]

[to part iii (2/2)]

[elduwrites]

ANYTHING FOR YOU - CHAPTER 10

With two younger brothers in need of food and security, a dead-beat alcoholic for a father, and no marketable skills of his own, Dean started selling himself shortly after he presented omega. At 17, he both has regular clients, and those who find him in or outside of the dingy bar where he often resides. It’s not a life he wants, but he’s willing to offer everything he is to create a better life for his brothers.

After some bad experiences and years of alphas telling him he’s a worthless bitch, he finds himself ready to believe it. Then a new client steps into his life, a handsome alpha with intense blue eyes that seem able to stare into his very core. The alpha is determined to care for him in a way that no-one else ever has, contesting his hard-earned belief that all alphas are douchebags.

But Dean knows that trusting an alpha is the best way to get heartbroken, and that gentle words can hide a ton of bad intentions. Still, this Castiel pays well and that’s something he can’t afford to turn down. Neither does he want to deprive himself of someone who seems to care about his pleasure as well as their own. Even as he must remind himself that he can’t give a client any part of him that’s actually real.

Also available on AO3

Chapter word count: 4920

Chapter 10/?

Chapter 1 Chapter 9 Chapter 11

Bubble baths, Dean decided, were a little slice of heaven. It wasn’t something he would have chosen to indulge in himself. But Castiel had insisted, so who was he to refuse? It had been a little awkward at first, this was the first time he was completely naked in front of the alpha. Any thought of that had however disappeared when he settled into the warm, soothing water. Now he just relaxed into the strong hands that dug into his muscles and occasionally travelled downwards to explore more of his body. It was nice really, the mix between an almost painful, but oh so pleasant, massage and the soft touches over his stomach and thighs.

It seemed like Castiel could read him like an open book. He was sure he’d gotten himself under control by the time he started work. In fact, judging by Sam and Adam, he came off as okay by the time he returned to their table a few hours earlier. Even so, Castiel needed less than a minute in his proximity to decide that they were doing something different that evening. Something new. Something incredible. And, somehow, exactly what he needed.  

“How do you always know what I need?” he asked in a low voice, almost hoping that the alpha didn’t hear him. He had to ask. Because well, Castiel read him too easily. And because he couldn’t ask for what he really wanted to know. Why did the alpha always fulfill his needs once he understood them? Asking how was certainly better than that.

Castiel just hummed thoughtfully in response. Then his fingers dug into Dean’s skull. And well, nothing else really mattered then. He all but melted into the touch, leaning heavily against the side of the bathtub. If he could afford one of these in his life, even one just a quarter as nice as this one, he’d be happy. Especially if it with came with Castiel, or someone very much like him.

“Keep your eyes closed,” the alpha murmured. Dean followed the gentle order, shutting them a little tighter as clean, warm water was poured over his head.

“There you go, all done.” Castiel stood and reached a hand down towards him. Taking the silent command, Dean grabbed it and made his way out of the tub. If it’d been up to him, he’d have stayed in that water forever. Or at least for another hour or two. Then again, the water had gotten noticeably cooler since he sat down, so the alpha was probably correct. Not that something as inconsequential as common sense changed the fact that stepping out of the water was bordering on unpleasant.

What did help was the soft towel that Castiel dried him off with. Dean just stood in the bathroom, moving his limbs this way and that at the alpha’s request as the older man slowly and methodically toweled off every part of his body. This again, was a new kind of intimacy for them. Despite that, Castiel kept an almost clinical air about him, not using more time in drying him off than was necessary. It was strange as always, being naked in front of an alpha who didn’t take advantage of the opportunity. It was also, much like the bath, absolutely wonderful.

Once he was dry and wrapped in a big bathroom that smelled deliciously of sandalwood and chocolate, Castiel ushered him into bed and told him to wait there. The alpha also gave him the remote to a TV that Dean up until that point could have sworn was a painting. Apparently, that was just an aesthetic choice, as what had been a flower field on a sunny day now was the Netflix menu. Rich people did the weirdest things. Wasn’t like the TV itself was ugly to look at or anything.

As he was left to his own devices, Dean put on an episode of Dr. Sexy MD. He might have seen it a hundred or so times before, but that didn’t affect the quality of the show, which was borderline horrendous, or is enjoyment of it, which was immense. Incrementally, he relaxed into the makeshift nest his alpha had made for him. No. The alpha. Castiel didn’t belong to him by any stretch of the imagination. But the alpha had made him a safe resting place, drenched in his comforting scent. He’d be a fool not to enjoy it.

That was how Castiel found him a while later, shortly after he’d started the second episode. He was cocooned under the covers on the alpha’s side of the bed, with a pillow under each arm for support. The alpha was carrying two bowl of some steaming hot food that smelled heavenly and surprisingly familiar.

“You told me that tomato rice soup is your comfort food of choice, and I figured we could need some of that today,” Castiel said, sounding almost sheepish.

“You remembered,” Dean replied. It was the only thing he could think of to say. People didn’t just remember things like that. And certainly not act on it if they did.

“Of course. It’s important to you.” The alpha sad it easily. As if that was reason enough to remember anything and everything.  

“Thank you alpha.” He moved over to his regular side of the bed, making room for Castiel beside him. The alpha handed him a bowl before settling down next to him with a noise of contentment. They were silent for a while after while they both ate their soup. Well, Castiel ate his soup. Dean all but devoured his own. He’d barely had tomato rice soup since his mom died. It had been their thing, and it felt wrong to make it for himself. But having it served like this was all kinds of wonderful, especially since the alpha made much better food than he had any reason to.

“You think my mother’ll come back to haunt me if I say your soup’s better than the one she used to make?” He asked when his bowl was empty. The question earned him a fond smile from the other man.

“I think you’d better not risk it.”

“In that case, this is the second-best tomato rice soup I’ve ever had,” he said with put-upon seriousness. Castiel laughed and ran a hand through the omega’s hair.

“There’s more in the kitchen if you want.”

“Tryin’ to make me fat alpha?” He joked half-heartedly. That wouldn’t be too bad really.

“Trying to make you healthy.”

He didn’t have a witty comeback for that, so he just retreated to the kitchen to refill his bowl. Castiel had to stop being so freaking earnest whenever he made a joke concerning himself or the two of them. It wasn’t good for his heart to be surrounded by this much straight-forward affection. A guy could grow complacent and spoiled on a fragment of what this alpha was giving him.

With an almost full bowl of soup in one hand, two glasses in the other and a big bottle of water under one arm, he carefully made his way back upstairs. With a little help, he managed to settle back into bed without spilling a drop. A minor feat considering everything. Then he attacked his second bowl of food, consuming it almost as fast as the first.

When the bowl was empty and put aside on the bedside table, he curled back under the covers with a content sigh. Dr. Sexy was giving some emotional speech to the intern he would soon be making out with in the hospital elevator, but for once he was content with just watching instead of imagining himself in the shoes of the lucky beta girl on screen. It seemed like a better deal to be in bed with Castiel than to be in the hospital with Dr. Sexy. Which, well… Fuck. He was so screwed.

“What are we watching?” Castiel asked, squinting slightly at the screen in front of him. And yeah of course the alpha didn’t know, or like, Dr. Sexy. He was much more of a nature documentary and high-brow TV-series that make you think kind of guy.

“We can change to something else,” he hurried to assure, reaching for the remote. Castiel, however, was quicker than him, grabbing it and putting it down on the table next to his side of the bed.

“I didn’t say, or even imply, that Dean. I simply want to know what this is. It seems very medically inaccurate. Not to mention the ethical ramification of this doctor’s behavior towards his subordinates, it is very unresponsible of him. And a rather off-putting use of an otherwise respectable position in the hospital.”

“It’s not supposed to be that deep or real to life,” Dean shook his head lightly and shuffled closer so he could bump his shoulder lightly against the alpha’s side. “Medical dramas like this one basically exist in another dimension where no-one’s ever faithful, all those ethical dilemmas barely mean anything unless they’re important to the plot, everyone has too many issues too count, and medical mysteries and bombs in the hospital are more usual than your run of the mill appendectomy. You just gotta roll with it and enjoy the show for what it is.”

“I see,” Castiel squinted harder at the screen for a while before he leaned more properly against the pillows and moved one hand to gently massage the omega’s head. Dean leaned into it, not even bothering to try to conceal the happy purr that escaped his throat. “I can understand why you enjoy it then. If the point of the genre is to look away from the obvious flaws, the overdone intrigue makes for exiting TV.”

“Again, seriously, it’s not that deep. I mostly just watch for Dr. Sexy and his cowboy boots. Nothing beats them.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Good.” Castiel smiled at him, then leaned down to kiss him deeply. He tasted wonderfully of tomato rice soup while his tongue explored Dean’s mouth. When he pulled away, the omega blinked at him in confusion.

“What was that for?”  

“Do I need a reason?”

“Course not alpha, I-”

“Believe it or not, I enjoy kissing you,” Castiel cut him off before he could get far into a poorly constructed explanation. “Especially when you seem comfortable enough in my company to be yourself.”  

That fucking earnestness again. Dean bit his lip and looked back at his screen, staring intently at the wonder of medicine that was happening before them. Just when he thought he understood the alpha, he said shit like that that threw him for a loop. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who sometimes forgot that this thing between them was a business agreement, not one based on actual affection? The alpha certainly treated him more like a boyfriend than anything else. Was that just his natural caring nature shining through, or was there anything more going on?

Whatever, that was too much to think about in the moment. They were having a good evening. His thoughts were not allowed to ruin that. Determinedly shaking those off, he turned to nuzzle against the alpha’s hip and stomach, and murmured against his skin. “Just keep being good to me and I’ll stay comfortable in your nest alpha.”

“That is my intention.” Castiel tugged at his hair gently, guiding his head until it was planted firmly in the other’s lap. The TV was long forgotten, despite the yelling happening on it, while he looked up, meeting the steady gaze of those unnervingly blue eyes.

“I’ve always had a talent for reading people, for noticing the small shifts in facial expression and scents that they try to hide and others either tactfully ignore or simply don’t notice. In fact, it got me into quite a bit of trouble when I was young. I had a tendency to blurt out what I could sense of other’s emotions, especially when their scents and projected feelings didn’t match up with their actions. It rarely went over well. Though Gabriel found it endlessly amusing.” Castiel smiled for a moment while looking away, then let out a breath and met Dean’s gaze before speaking again.

“You asked me earlier why I’m so good at understanding your needs. I’m trying to explain it to both of us.”

“Oh. Right.” He’d been sure that the alpha ignored that on purpose. It had been too invasive a question. Instead, he’d been what? Biding his time? Trying to figure out what or how to explain it? Was he hiding something? Or just unsure of his own answer?

“I honed those skills in my career. It’s very helpful as a lawyer to understand when someone’s lying or telling half-truths. Or when I need to work harder to make the omega in my care more comfortable so they understand that I’ll protect them, not whichever low-life hurt them. It’s become second nature by now, to discover those inconsistencies and hidden nuances in people’s scents. I do it even when I perhaps shouldn’t, but I do it best when I feel at liberty to do so or like it’s my responsibility to take care of the other. That has certainly helped with you.”

Dean nodded slowly. That made sense, played into the alpha’s caregiving kink even. In the end, how different was he really from the other omegas Castiel worked with? They just met under slightly circumstances and all of them were far more traumatized by life and people than him.

“Even so,” Castiel continued “it’s always been different with you. I can’t quite explain how, but your scent is an open book to me. More so than most others. I can sense when you’re trying to hide your feelings, and I assume you’re rather prolific at it. Even so, they’re always very clear to me. The feelings you’re trying to project seem wrong somehow, like a book that’s slightly different from the last time you read it. But your truth is underneath, always there for me to see.”

“That’s a terrifying thought,” Dean replied. Cuz well, what was the point of hiding that? He probably smelled more scared than he had in the alpha’s presence in months. He’d always prided himself on his ability to keep his scent hidden when it really mattered, when he needed to shield others from his own emotions. But here was someone, an alpha at that, who saw right through his every attempt. This wasn’t news of course, but it felt different to have it spelled out like that. Then a thought occurred, distracting him from all the other raging ones. “Is that why you hate it when I lie to you? Or just omit the truth or whatever?”

“Well, in general I just don’t like being lied to. But yes, it is particularly off-putting when you do it.” The alpha seemed lost in thought, his brow furrowing deeply while his eyes gaze turned blank and out of focus. After a few moments, he shook himself lightly and moved his hand to cup the omega’s cheek gently. “Dean, you must know that I’d never use this to hurt you. I’d much rather do the opposite whenever I can.”

“I know.” If Castiel wanted to hurt him, he could have done so many times over with little to no consequences. And hadn’t he just wondered how the alpha always knew how to help him? “Guess I’m just used to hiding all this shit from everyone, it feels weird not being able to…” He looked away, biting his lip again. At least it was only Castiel, right? Better him than anyone else in his life. The guy could deal.

“Perhaps,” the alpha said, his voice eerily careful “you could see this as an opportunity?”

“An opportunity for what?” To learn how to be open and honest and live his life like a dance on roses? It didn’t work like that. No matter what anyone tried to tell him or themselves about the matter.

“To just be yourself. I can already scent your emotions, and I know that you’re almost always holding yourself back. But what do you really have to lose?” Castiel sounded so heartfelt again. He really believed that this was a great, life-solving solution. For someone so smart, he could be a real idiot at times. Or perhaps naïve was the right word.

“Besides my favorite and best paying customer and his incredible bed you mean?”

“Favorite, huh?” Castiel’s scent bloomed with something very akin to happiness, the chocolaty undertones taking the forefront. Dean rolled his eyes. Like the guy needed it spelled out.          

“You can’t possibly be surprised. You feed me, bathe me and indulge my horrible taste in TV shows. Hell, you’re the only client I’m seeing while John’s in town, doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out that I prefer…” Oh crap. Dean shut his mouth with an audible snap. He was not supposed to share that information. Never let an alpha know you’re dependent on them. That was like omega 101. It seemed like he was breaking all his rules with this particular alpha. Even the really basic ones.

“That makes me very happy,” Castiel said. And yeah, he certainly smelled like it. His happiness was fucking intoxicating. More so when he pushed Dean back into the pillows to lay on his back, only to cover his body with his own and kissing him senseless. Any trepidation Dean felt about relaying that information soon fell away under the alpha’s warm mouth and talented tongue. This man wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. Despite his concerns, he could hold on to that.

Castiel pulled away far too soon, only to re-adjust their position slightly and start trailing kisses down his neck. The bathrobe fell open easily under the alpha’s hands, leaving Dean bare once again. This time the touches were far less innocent. The alpha grabbed his hair with one hand, angling his neck for better access as gentle kisses turned to small nips and bits along his throat and neck, focusing on and around his scent glands. His other hand found a nipple, rolling it gently before tugging until the omega moaned loudly.

“Fuck… Alpha.”

This was new. No one paid him this kind of attention. Except, of course Castiel did. The man never seemed to do anything halfway. It was so good. There were oh so gentle touches, paired with sharp bites and kisses that lit his skin on fire. He’d never been that happy to just stay there and take whatever an alpha gave to him. Whatever it was, it was bound to be amazing.

Then Castiel flipped the script, growling into his ear “I want to taste you.”

“You can.” Please do it. Suddenly there was nothing he wanted more.

“Not tonight,” Castiel shook his head lightly, pulling away. Dean whimpered at the loss of contact. “Will you do something for me?”

“Anything.” At that moment, he was sure he meant it. There was nothing the alpha could have asked of him that he’d refuse. If only he could have those lips back on him. Whatever needed to please his alpha.

“Can you get an STD screening? I will do so as well of course. And I’ll naturally cover any expenses it may bring. I really want to taste you Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Of course he’d do that. He probably should have anyhow, but was too scared of the results to do it more than once or twice a year. But if it meant Castiel’s tongue in his ass? Hell yeah, he’d take this one ahead of schedule. Would have done it that very second if possible.

“Thank you.” The alpha captured his mouth in a deep kiss again. Dean wrapped his arms around his neck, keeping him close as they explored each other’s mouths. Damn, he didn’t want to wait for test results and all that shit. His ass was leaking, the bathrobe would smell like him for weeks, and he was hornier than he’d ever been in the presence of another person. And for some reason that still didn’t equate to him getting laid. None of this was like him, but he just wanted to, needed to, feel.

A hand wrapped around his dick, stroking him with certain movement. Meanwhile, Castiel licked even deeper into his mouth, pressing their bodies as close as possible given their activities. It was all he could do just to hold on, clutching the alpha as close as possible and allowing him to give and take whatever he wanted.

It was so fucking good. Castiel’s hand very talented as it stroked him quick and dirty, pausing every once in a while to stroke over his slit or fondle his balls. It was even better when the alpha tightened his grip slightly and kissed down to his shoulder, sucking hard at his scent gland. Marking him up for everyone to see. His senses were filled with safety and belonging, and alpha, alpha, alpha as he came over the other’s hand. The hand kept stroking while he came down, until he whimpered from oversensitivity. Then it quickly pulled away, leaving him to catch his breath while the alpha still nibbled lightly at his shoulder.

Castiel shifted a little next to him and started sucking more intently at his scent gland once again. It was almost too overwhelming, the sensation powerful in the wake of his climax. But he angled his head to give better access anyhow. Castiel hummed happily against his skin, and then the unmistakable sound of skin against skin started up next to him. Dean looked down the other’s body, and sure enough, the alpha was getting himself off.

“Want some help there alpha?” He asked, reaching down towards where the man was stroking himself. Surely this was not something he’d refuse. But Castiel took him by surprise again, grabbing both of the omega’s wrists in one hand and pinning them to the mattress over his head.

“No,” the alpha growled, leaning over him. “Not this time.”

With his hands pinned and the alpha’s lips now too far away to kiss, there was not much Dean could do while Castiel was stroking himself to completion. All he could do was watch, looking into the alpha’s eyes while that blue gaze seemed to be starring right into his soul. No one had ever looked at him quite like that. Certainly not in such a situation. It almost seemed like Castiel was more concerned with watching him than moving the hand he had wrapped around his cock.

That was until the alpha suddenly leaned close to bite his neck hard while long streaks of semen spluttered over the mattress and Dean’s stomach. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, but probably was less than five minutes. Castiel massaged his knot with his teeth firmly locked around the omega’s scent gland. His fangs were mercifully retracted, ensuring no accidental breaking of skin. Dean stayed still, only tilting his head slightly to the side so the alpha could get an even better angle. The bite was throbbingly painful in the best way, making his inner omega scream out for more, deeper. A proper bite. Thankfully, that was not something the alpha needed to know about.

Eventually, Castiel rolled to the side, letting go of his neck in the process. Gentle fingers took the place of his teeth, stroking over the area and probing at the many marks that were sure to last for days.

“Happy with your handywork?” Dean asked, trying to sound casual about it. The way he leaned into the alpha’s every touch surely gave him away as anything but.

“Yes.” Castiel pushed harder down against the teeth marks before slowly sitting up and moving away. “But now we must get you cleaned up.”

With that he was gone, only to return soon after with a warm washcloth. He meticulously washed every trace of semen off Dean’s skin, and got most of it off the sheets. Those were still sure to be stained and in need of changing in the morning. They sure as hell weren’t doing that before then. Dean was perfectly content in the bed just the way it was.

Well, at least he was so once the alpha settled down next to him again and pulled him close for a few soft kisses. When they pulled away, Dean refused to go far, opting on resting his head on the other’s chest instead.

“Apparently I’m a post-sex cuddler,” he mumbled into his skin. And really, who could have known? That had never been his MO before.

“Naturally,” Castiel said with obvious humor in his voice. “I’ve found you to be very fond of cuddling in general.”

“You’re the one who always insists on that,” he grumbled back. It was always the alpha that initiated it. Right?

“Of course. You’re probably right.” It did not seem like Castiel believed those words. At all. Whatever. It didn’t matter anyhow. Not like either of them were complaining about the arrangement.

He shuffled even closer to the alpha, rubbing his chin gently against his chest as he got comfortable. This was still one of the best places he had ever slept. As such, he was almost asleep when Castiel spoke again, his voice and words bringing him right back to the miserable world of the living and awake.

“Do you mind telling me why you were so upset when you arrived here this evening?” Did he mind? Of course he minded. He didn’t want to talk about it. Not anymore. Nothing good would come of that. And he had already talked it through with Benny. He didn’t need more than that. Then again, Castiel was such a worrywart. He probably couldn’t let this go if he didn’t know the truth. Though telling him wouldn’t exactly give him less reason to worry.  

“Will you be able to stop thinking about it if I don’t tell you?” He replied in a low voice, decidedly not looking at the alpha.

“No.” Ever the honest one. “But I’ll keep that to myself of course. Your secrets are yours to keep.”

Dean sighed heavily, grabbing at Castiel’s shoulder. Damn it all to hell.

“Promise not to think too poorly of me if I tell you?”

“Of course.” That was an empty promise, the alpha didn’t know what he was agreeing to after all, but it still felt better than nothing.

“I learned something new today,” Dean started. “About John’s involvement with an alpha I had a sort of relationship with when I was fourteen. The guy who gave me this,” he moved one hand to touch gently over the faint scars of the failed mating mark. Castiel’s fingers followed his, tracing lightly over the scar and the imprints of his own teeth that were all around it.

“I’ve been wondering about it,” the alpha said softly.

“Yeah, well, it was a really horrible night.” His voice threatened to give out on him, but he forced it to function and told Castiel about all of it. About Michael and John and the deal they apparently made, and the one they didn’t. About Michael’s rut, the first and only rut he’d ever shared with an alpha, and the mating bite that resulted in. How said alpha beat him bloody when it didn’t take, and he stumbled home weak and confused with all his instincts going highwire in the aftermath.

He took a break to just breath after that, but it was like a floodgate had opened. He needed to tell the rest. To just get it out. So he told Castiel about waking up in a strange house with a burly beta sitting watch over him. The first few hours there with Benny had been hell, as he convinced himself that the stranger was an alpha who had taken him for his own. Not until his much less intimating mate came back from work had he managed to relax. Even then, he was on edge while Andrea explained everything they’d done to keep him healthy and safe. He was on edge in Castiel’s bed too, as he recounted all of. The anger poring off the alpha in waves didn’t exactly help, but even his inner omega understood that it wasn’t directed at him.

“This alpha who tried to force a mating on you, what was his name again?”

“Michael Milton.” Of all the things Castiel could have focused in on in the story, why was that the thing? “Why?”

“Just getting my facts right,” the alpha squeezed him close for a moment, then coaxed him to raise his head so could look properly at each other. “He can’t hurt you anymore. Can’t get to you here.”

“I know.”

“I won’t let something like that happen to you again. I’ll keep you safe.”

“You can’t make that promise alpha.” As much as it felt true in the moment, it wouldn’t last. The alpha could only keep him safe while he was within the walls of his house. The alpha growled lightly at his words and dragged him closer until his face was once again buried against a firm chest. His senses were immediately filled with strong pulses of protection, with just a trace of anger and possessiveness still lingering.

“Not yet,” Castiel said against his hair, so quietly that he was unsure whether he was supposed to hear it or not. “But someday I will.”  

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @xxg0thbabyxx

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a seesaw shape. your life focuses on different ideals and interests, often constrasting between each other. from one side, this gives you the ability to be adaptable and find solutions easily. on the other hand, you may struggle with balance; for example, you might find yourself dedicating your life to your relationships, neglecting your ego or viceversa. you need to learn how to harmonize these energies.

your dominant planets are mercury, the sun and uranus. you are definitely a very charismatic person, you are sociable and people see you as someone easy to approach. you look and are friendly, you try to make everyone comfortable, even though you could change your mind pretty often. because of that, people can see you as too unpredictable or impulsive.

your dominant sign is gemini. you are a very intelligent individual, you are thirsty for knowledge and you also have great communication skills. you have a witty sense of humor, you're able to make everyone feel at ease with your sympathy. people may say you're two-faced, but in reality you just act in the most appropriate way based on the situation you're in. you despise boredom, you're very experimental in your life, but others may mistake this trait for flakiness.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in gemini, 2° / 1st decan ruled by mercury

you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, even though this energy may not be much prominent; it may be perceived differently due to your libra energy, in fact. that’s because libra prefers organizing things, rather than acting impulsively. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, or perhaps you have healthy curves. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look to them, and they’re probably almond-shaped.

gemini ascendant square pisces moon: you may have troubles understanding others’ real feelings for you. you may feel as if everyone hates you, like everyone is talking behind your back when it’s the opposite. the moon being in pisces doesn't help either, as this aspect enhances its trust issues even more. you’re particularly sensitive about others’ view and opinion of you, you may get deeply hurt when people criticize you. you could have the tendency to act differently than you usually do, in order to preserve your feelings. this is obviously a toxic behaviour, that fills you up with your own stress and doubles it. due to that, you may become very moody and nervous, ending up hurting others yourself. or maybe, it’s the other way around; your feelings are so overwhelming that you can’t hide them, and that could put you in embarrassing, unpleasant situations. you may show all of your emotions on your face, ready to be read. the way to cope with this placement is finding someone similiar to you; someone who’s trust-worthy, and very sensitive and empathetic too. someone who’d never judge you for you think or say, and that would always help you becoming the best version of yourself. someone that understands you, without having to explain all of your behaviours and habits.

gemini ascendant opposite sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.

🌞 sun in gemini, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and venus

with your sun in the mutable sign of gemini, you are a very light-hearted, chill individual. you're very bright and bubbly, you have amazing communication skills and also an entertaining sense of humor that is able to light up the room. you're very sociable, you like interacting with others, and with your heavy gemini energy in the rest of your chart, you don't find it hard to let this side of you out, especially with people you feel comfortable with. since gemini is a mutable sign, you most likely have tons of interests and hobbies, they're so many that you find it hard to keep up with all of them, despite being extremely good at multi-tasking. in fact, you're particularly intelligent and thirsty for knowledge. you like learning about everything, you love looking and being smart. it's your way to feel empowered and proud of yourself. you always need freshness in your daily life, you cannot stand boredom. because of that, you may often change your ideas, your hobbies, your favourite singer, etc. sometimes, you could even apply this to friends and lovers, and people may consider you unloyal or not much serious because of that. in addition, you get easily very anxious and stressed, to the point that you may seem dramatic to others.

gemini sun square pisces moon: with this aspect, what you need and what you want tend to clash. in your case, your gemini sun wants to be in the spotlight, you want to be sociable and have fun. you want to go out often and live life to the fullest, while your pisces moon is more private, it prefers being alone. as a result, you may come off as unpredictable and / or indecisive. you could struggle with being optimistic, as you have this inner turmoil in you that makes you struggle to attract positive situations in your life. you may often feel conflicted, as if you didn't have control over your emotions. you may have unstable self-esteem, one day you could be feeling extra confident and happy with yourself and then the next day you feel very insecure, you want to change everything about your persona. you could feel unwanted, or perhaps you actually used to feel unwanted during your childhood, perhaps by your parents, relatives or even by other children at school. you're basically a walking paradox, you want both intimacy and independence, stability and flexibility.

gemini sun opposite sagittarius pluto: probably during your childhood you couldn't make your own decisions. you might have been highly influenced by someone in your family, probably your father, and hence now you feel the need to have everything under control. maybe too much. you despise authority, you may even quite rebellious. maybe your parents have tried to convince you following their religion, ideals etc., without giving you freedom. or perhaps, they are overprotective and avoid to make you have experiences. I imagine that getting rid of your control issues, which are caused by this sense of not being in control of your life, may be the first step to finally heal your wound, which is somehow linked to the relationship with your friends and casual partners in your everyday life. start trusting others more, and don't be afraid of being 'fooled'. you're totally capable of understanding when someone is trying to hurt you, follow your intuition. even though it may be hard, even painful, it'll be the key to transform and overcome pluto's lessons to achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 5° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon square sagittarius pluto: your emotions are so intense that they almost scare those around you. in fact, you're prone to accentuated mood swings; when you're happy, you start smiling and laughing joyfully. when you're sad, you're the type to cry, scream, even throw up in some cases. that's how far you go with your emotions. maybe, you also feel repressed to express your feelings exactly for this reason. you probably also have a conservative/possessive mother (or just any member of your family), with whom you don't feel at ease expressing your emotions. or maybe, your mother was absent throughout your life. on the other hand, you can understand others' feelings, but be careful not to use it to manipulate others. you could also be very paranoid, and might develop addictions and anxiety disorders, especially with your sensitive pisces moon.

🗣 mercury in gemini, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

mercury is in its natural place in gemini, your whole chart flows very well! you have great problem-solving skills, you are extremely intelligent and astute. when you were younger, you probably used to be the winner at games like hide-and-seek. this placement also enhances your thirst for knowledge of any kind, you want to learn at least a little about anything, from science to foreign cultures. yet, since you want to learn so many things all at once, you may lack precision and be a little bit superficial. on the other hand, you're a fast learner and you may often find people predictable, but in reality you're just ahead of them. you're also very open-minded, even though you still rely more on logic, not like your sister sign is sagittarius. yet, it's easy for you to be flexible in your day-to-day life, you don't have to follow a schedule to have everything under control, even though you may often suffer from stress and headaches due to this lack of organization. you may have a very youthful and positive voice, you just give off good vibes, you know?

❤️ venus in leo, 0° / 1st decan ruled by the sun

with leo venus you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.

leo venus square libra mars: this placement most likely gives you a short-temper. you may have lots of friends or lots of romantic partners, but you may find yourself being often irritated by them. you could argue with others over petty things, and this could affect your relationships significantly. at the same time, you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. with this placement, what you need is learning to open up and being honest without being too blunt. you need to talk about your feelings, you can't bottle them up, but be careful not to sound rude, don't be too impulsive. because of your nature, the perfect partner for you would be someone mature, confident and empathetic that will understand you and won't get hurt by your words.

leo venus square aries jupiter: you come off as a very positive, happy-go-lucky person. you're extremely friendly, and this makes you be good at social relationships. you may have lots of friends, or at least you have the potential to make many if you opened up and talked to them. yet, while this energy gives you positive vibes, some people may take advantage of that, as you could easily be mistaken for naive. people can try to dominate you unconsciously (sometimes even on purpose) not only in relationships but even in friendships. aside from that, I don't think this placement causes you many problems. you may have the tendency to procrastinate and not work. you could be quite lazy and get easily distracted, as you're constantly with your head in the cloud.

leo venus opposite aquarius neptune: you probably dream of a love like those you hear about in fairytales; you're not only looking for a partner, you literally want a princess/prince, who's willing to give their all to you. you find yourself daydreaming often about love, and it may also be your source of inspiration for creativity and art in general. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in libra, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

libra mars opposite aries jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in gemini. your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere. your sun in this house makes you very confident and motivated to achieve your goals. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.

your 2nd house is in gemini again, with also your mercury sitting there. you’re probably very intelligent, and your skills are what boost your self-esteem. you’re also capable of doing more than one thing at the same time. you could make money from communication, hence you could become a writer, a singer, a theraphist, a judge, even an influencer. anything that involves the use of words. you may also be quite intelligent, and your intellect and ideas are what make you feel most confident. you have a slow way of thinking and speaking. your voice may sound really calm and pleasant to hear, yet still strict and ambitious. you’re probably a good singer, or at least have the potential to become one. you tend to overthink a lot, but you eventually get to a conclusion and stick to it. no one is gonna change your mind. you enjoy learning and working in creative ways; you might enjoy using powerpoints, flashcards or maybe study with your friends, or listening to music. you also probably have a nice, aesthetic handwriting and you like organizing your agenda. your voice is probably very soft and youthful.

your 3rd house is in cancer. your parents were probably successful in school and university, and they passed down their knowledge to you. maybe, you may have the same interests or passions as them, or perhaps they want you to be academically successful just like them. you may also find yourself talking about your memories, as you’re very attached to them, or even directly about your childhood/parents. your venus is also in this house: your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’.

your 4th house is in leo. your family had great expectations of you, which could have eventually led to anxiety/self-esteem issues. on the other hand, your parents cared about you, and they always made sure that you had everything you needed. if you have siblings, you were most likely the favourite child in the family, or at least you were spoiled by your parents, both with material things and affection. overall, your childhood wasn’t much turbulent, even though your parents most likely were quite strict with you. there could have been a bit of arguing as well aside from restrictions, and hence it was hard for you to establish a proper emotional bond with them. because of that, you may feel a little insecure now, as you may constantly feel misunderstood by others.

your 5th house is in virgo. you enjoy relax, yet you may feel guilty to abandon work for a while. you always feel like you have something to do, and that doesn’t allow you to fully enjoy your rest time. make sure to always find some space for yourself, though. it’s where your energy resides, you feel at home and comfortable exploring your abilities, you shouldn’t take them for granted. also, this enhances your writing abilities even more. in fact, you’re both creative to create stories and rational to tell them objectively and in a clear manner. you're picky with your lovers and friends, it takes time for you to open up to someone and fully trust them, but once you do, you're very loyal. I don't see you being as extroverted as other geminis, you need your alone time, but you definitely don't mind spending time with your loved ones and close friends.

your 6th house is in libra. you most likely involve beauty, art, aesthetics and creativity in your daily routine. your home environment probably looks very neat and well-designed. you care a lot about it, as much as you care about yourself; you put a lot of attention in your outfits and looks too, and you most likely love shopping. this is another placement that indicates that your ideal career should serve your need for creativity and self-expression. it’s very important for you to pursue a career that helps you find a way to express the creative side of your mind. you may also often find yourself dating people from your daily routine, hence co-workers, classmates etc. mars is also placed in this house: your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out.

your 7th house is in sagittarius. you want your marriage to be a constant travel for you, in which you can both relax and learn. you want to marry a witty and impulsive partner, that is also fun to live with. you may often find yourself falling for unavailable people, either physically or emotionally (or even both). they may be foreign, or at least they’re able to speak a different language from yours. they could also have a different culture/religion from yours. overall, they're also very wise, outgoing and surprisingly open-minded and philosophical. you could meet them in a place where you go to relax, such as the movie theater, a spa, the beach or even during a vacation. your sagittarius pluto is also sitting in this house: you tend to attract very intense partners. your future spouse will be very loyal and fond of you, but they may be a little too obsessive for you. it will be a very intimate relationship, but you may struggle with control. in fact, you’ll most likely be both very possessive and easily jealous, and there may be some arguments regarding this issue. with this placement, you may also attract ‘broken’ people, such as drug dealers, alcoholics, abusers… yet, as I’ve already mentioned, you also have jupiter (sagittarius) in this house, which makes you luckier when it comes to love. you’ll most likely avoid this type of people, but your relationships will still be very karmic. they may be painful, as you love hard when you fall for someone, but they’ll be crucial for your self-growth. you may also find yourself being attracted to mature, possibly older people, from different cultures / country from yours.

your 8th house is in sagittarius again. you’re very curious when it comes to taboo topics, you like learning about them. you’re probably into conspiracy theories, as well as matters like astrology, tarots, horror, tragedies, violence… you can use them to transform yourself and grow up, so you could definitely use this birth chart reading to improve yourself. 8th house is also the house of karma, and yours is kind of strange. you may often feel like you’re right about something, e.g the sky is blue. you’re very proud of your observation, but then it turns out to be different. it’s like the universe is constantly teaching you new things. luckily, this is something that gets better with time. in addition, having sagittarius here is great, as jupiter kind of protects you from the 8th house’s malefic themes. all the negative things that could happen to you, are actually blessings that are here to help you. you just need to be a little bit more optimistic, the universe has your back.

your 9th house is in capricorn, with also your neptune sitting there. you have a pragmatic approach to philosophy, school and experiences in general. for example, you may be the type to plan every day of a travel. at school, you were probably the type to prefer more logical subjects, but I assume that you were good at all of them. with neptune being also here, you may come across a lot of unexpected and confusing events in your life, especially when you’re entering a new phase of your life. yet, you may often get lost in your thoughts and get unmotivated from time to time. you most likely love travelling and making new experiences. if you had to choose how to spend your spare time, you’d most likely choose to travel somewhere. you’re also extremely open-minded, you hardly ever have prejudices. you surely don’t judge people from their sexuality, skin colour etc. last but not least, you may also have a knack for philosophy, poetry, literature, history… anything that can open your mind and stimulate your creativity.

your 10th house is in aquarius with also your moon and uranus placed there. your uranus is tightly conjunct the midheaven. you want to stand out from the crowd, you strive to establish your own morals and beliefs. you don’t want to conform to anything and anyone, as you’re a trend-setter and you want to be seen as such. you’d rather have a job where you can handle your work yourself, rather than having a boss. in fact, aquarius in this house makes you extremely resolute and motivated to achieve your goals and be independent. you may not be much interested in love, and if you are, you don’t overlook career either. having a stable and successful future that makes you happy is the key for happiness in your life. it’s important to be focused when working, especially for you. yet, once you know how to balance this tricky energy and get your stuff together, you’ll earn a reputation for being an innovative and original person. you may be quite artistic, creative and emotional, you’ll probably focus your life on self-expression. with the moon in this house, you are most likely going to be independent at work, you'll most likely have your own business. you could possibly work online as well, you could earn money through the internet, or perhaps your job may require you to physically move: you could be a dancer, an actor/actress, you could pursue a career that involves a certain sport, etc. you will get to express your emotions through your job, or perhaps you'll get to help other people with their feelings. you would make a great therapist, nurse, counselor, etc.

your 11th house is in pisces. you probably had problems with your friendships in your early years. you could have been too shy to approach people, hence you struggled to befriend them. or maybe, you used to gossip around, and that led you to lose them. or perhaps, you’re too work-oriented to find some spare time to hang out with others, and hence you end up losing your bond with them. in the best case, you may have quite spiritual / religious friends, or perhaps they’re your soulmates, they were a part of your past life. you have this habit of idealizing them a bit; that is, you may be too picky in choosing your friends. you’re probably looking for the type of friend that’d literally throw themselves under a car to save you, but it’s hard to actually find someone like that. open up more and accept others as they are. you don’t necessarily need to be with them for a long time, but make sure to learn your lessons from them.

lastly, your 12th house is in the sign of taurus, with also saturn and jupiter placed there. you may feel attracted to spirituality, but you’re quite lazy to actually dive into it. I feel like at first you may be quite skeptical about your abilities, but as time goes by you become more open-minded and in tune with your higher self. once you understand your true power, you'll become very spiritual and intuitive. you'll have lots of meaningful dreams, possibly prophetic dreams that could warn you about the future. you may be able to perceive and talk to higher entities such as spirits, and you could become a master at manifestation. with a positive attitude, you'll be able to attract everything you want in your life, especially finances and love thanks to taurus in the cusp of the 12th house.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract sagittarius, virgo, scorpio and aquarius placements. your future spouse may also have prominent sagittarius placements; you need someone who’s charming, respectful, interesting and polite, but that can also stand up for themselves with no hesitation. you’re also into the magnetic, sexy type. you’re looking for someone independent, but that wouldn’t mind dedicating their time to you. you may feel unlucky in love, as your sagittarius descendant makes you attract people that are usually unavailable, whether it’s physically (they’re abroad) or emotionally. you may marry someone of a different culture/country/religion from yours. you may also meet and marry abroad or during a vacation. they could also be someone very well known in their career field, or perhaps they may even be famous. you could also meet them in a place where people usually relax, such as a bar or at the restaurant, and it will most likely be love at first sight. your children will most probably have very prominent mercurian energy, hence virgo or gemini; they’ll love to learn new things, they'll be very witty and ask multiple questions, as they will be very intelligent. yet, they could be a bit too talkative, and could have a tendency to gossip.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being spoiled and appreciated, together with receiving attention. yet, she could sometimes be quite superficial because of that, but deep down she’s very romantic and mannered. she may have leo placements, or maybe aquarius, cancer, scorpio or capricorn. your father is a bit more unpredictable, he could be moody and therefore you may argue with him more often, and he might be an aquarius or have any type of fire/water placement in his chart. yet, he also has a very sweet and outgoing side to him that he may struggle to let out. if you have siblings, they’re probably leos/fire signs. you have a very pleasant relationship with them, you're all very playful and generous and you used to always stand up for each other, even though there could have been a bit of competition.

📊 career

as I’ve already mentioned above, you most likely have great communication skills and writing abilities. you’re very logical and precise, you’d definitely do well in a field that requires calm and organization. I can also picture you being an amazing teacher or even professor. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy. I also see you working in the medical field, especially as a therapist, a psychologist, a nurse... anything that allows you to help other people's mental health. your future career could also include spirituality, such as yoga, astrology... you may be a medium, a tarot reader, a fortune teller, etc.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

keyword for your wardrobe: black. every leo venus loves black, it's probably my favorite love story. after all, it's such a versatile color! it can be both badass and classy, how can I blame you. you may also have a thing for anything that looks luxury and high quality; you probably enjoy wearing designer brands, especially in your belts and bags. you may also like wearing fitted clothes, even just simple skinny jeans or tight tops. aside from black, you could as well use white and bold colours like gold, hot pink etc. also, you may as well be into pastel colors, and you could like following fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were very career-oriented. you were probably extremely successful at work, it was your priority. you could have even been someone important for your career, who knows. yet, this lifetime you don't need to focus on work anymore, you're already a master at it. now, you need to solve your issues with your family and create a family of your own to fully accomplish your life purpose. there may be some ups and downs, but this is what your soul has to learn in this lifetime.

🤔 major transits analysis / august 18

jupiter is current in aquarius, meaning that it's transiting your 10th house conjunct your pisces moon. this is an extremely positive time for you! in fact, having the planet of abundance and luck conjunct the planet of energy means that you're motivated to work hard and achieve your goals! it's the best time to start a diet, a workout routine, study, dive into a new hobby... your vibration is much higher these days, therefore it's the best time for you to manifest.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. in this way, you'll develop a more optimistic mindset and you'll be able to attract more positivity in your life. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

-libramc xx

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Lunatic Parade: Carla Tsukinami (Chapter 4)

Surprise! Dear @pjpammee​ & anonymous askers​, I have heard your requests about doing Carla’s route and I hope this makes you happy! (๑و•̀ω•́)و [Honestly, if anyone still has someone they want me to translate from Lunatic Parade in the future, please type an anon ask and I will definitely see it!]

Place: Bernstein castle — Inside

*alarm goes off*

Yui: —Nn!

(I woke up right on time… it must be naturally a good day since I‘ve got to work really hard today)

(At the worst possible time it‘s not only the very last day of the parade… it also seems to be the day Carla-san‘s petrification reaches its final stage)

Carla: —Did you wake up?

Yui: Kyaaa!?

Carla: Why are you being astonished? Did the both of us not go to bed together?

Yui: W-We did, you‘re right… but, um… you‘re being a little too close right now…

Carla: Hmph… I was simply getting a proper view over your sleeping face.

Yui: Eh!?

Carla: You slept while grinning broadly. Did you have some sort of nice dream while sleeping?

Yui: I smirked, you say… please don‘t do such a thing as observing each and everything I do while I‘m not aware of it… !

(This is so embarrassing… !)

Carla: I was merely waking up earlier than you, which is why I am not to blame for this, am I?

If we stay in bed together this way, even if you believe it is unpleasant, I will happen to catch a sight of your face either way.

It is absurd requesting for me not to observe you like this then.

Yui: W-Well then, this bed is now yours—

*Yui tries to escape*

Carla: I will not permit that. Nn…

Yui: Nn… but… otherwise—

Carla: I would never lose interest in examining your sleeping face. I want you to show it to me freely.

Yui: B-But… !!

*Yui pushes him away*

Carla: What? Do you want to go already?

Yui: We have to get that jewel back as soon as possible, in order to have Aji-san make the antidote since she can‘t make it without it.

Carla: Do not panic. You are being way too hasty at this hour.

Yui: Even if you say so…

I can‘t stay here carefreely and do nothing either way. Please, let's start moving as quickly as possible.

Carla: Haa… it cannot be helped. I will get dressed up then.

*Carla starts changing*

Yui: (Carla-san seems to be awfully leisurely about this situation… he almost behaves as if nothing ever happened…)

(He might be acting differently since he‘s having the abilities of the founder‘s king… but I, on the contrary, feel rather uneasy about this all…)

Carla: —Let us go.

Yui: Yes! 

Place: Demon World — Glimmer Main Street

Yui: Hm? Carla-san… isn‘t this a different route from usual? If I recall, the underground corridor isn‘t on that way—

Carla: You simply remain silent and follow me.

Yui: ...Uhh… but…

Carla: …..

Yui: (Aren‘t we heading towards the exact opposite direction of our destination… ? Carla-san, just what are you thinking?)

Place: Demon World — Saint nore park street

Yui: —Okay, and why did we come to this place?

Carla: There is only one possible thing you can do here.

Yui: Please wait for me! Carla-san… don‘t tell me your intentions were to come hither and then enjoy yourself?

Carla: I did intend on doing that.

Yui: ...Nn… don‘t you think it would be better to do so after you took the antidote?

Carla: I cannot. We have to do it now.

Yui: …..!?

(What on earth is your plan about… ?)

(I don‘t think this has anything to do with getting closer to obtaining the antidote either…)

Carla: Anyhow, you only have to follow my plan.

Yui: (Even if he says it like that… what is there to do?)

Choices

1) Obey him♡♡♡

2) Tell him to get the stone back first

— Obey him♡

Yui: (But I‘m pretty sure Carla-san must've thought of something like a plan before coming here though)

(I made up my mind, I‘ll believe in Carla-san being absolutely fine, doing whatever he came up with… I do believe him, so—)

Alright, understood.

Carla: Good to know.

*Carla comes closer*

Carla: —You merely have to continue following me.

Yui: Yes…

— Tell him to get the stone back first

Yui: Carla-san, this situation isn‘t only about enjoying yourself, you know? We need to seriously hurry up and get this jewel back.

Carla: ...Are you judging my opinion?

Yui: I, um…

Carla: I told you to simply follow me. Come!

*Carla grabs Yui*

Yui: Ouch… !

(I think I made him angry by saying something like this…)

Place: Saint Nore Park — Coffee cup

Carla: —What on earth is this?

Yui: ...U-Um, let‘s see… I think this is an attraction called “coffee cup”…

You use the handle in the middle to increase or decrease the speed of the cup you‘re riding in…

With this you‘re supposed to control it and therefore avoid hitting the other surrounding cups…

Carla: I see. This playground equipment is supposed to make you enjoy the speed.

Yui: Exactly.

*Carla gets closer*

Yui: Hm… Carla-san?

Carla: Get on.

Yui: Ehh!?

Carla: You shall join me.

Yui: P-Please wait a moment. Are you being serious?

Carla: ...Are you doubting me?

Yui: I-It‘s not like that…

(What am I supposed to say… to be honest, I didn‘t really think Carla-san would be interested in getting on that sort of thing…)

(Instead, I thought he‘d seem like a person who dislikes this kind of place…)

Carla: —Hey, come in quickly. It appears to start moving soon.

Yui: Y-Yes, I‘m coming!

(...I don‘t think there‘s anything helping us about this… I guess I have no other choice but to enjoy it for now)

— If you win: (+CG)♡

Yui: —Fufu… I really did a good job not bumping into something, don‘t you think?

Carla: Indeed. You were handling this quite skillful.

Yui: Thank you!

(I‘m really glad Carla-san praises me for even trivial things like that)

— If you lose:

Yui: Nn…

Carla: My, My… it appears as if you truly are not good at turning away from hitting the other objects.

Yui: Nn… I‘m sorry…

Carla: It is fine. You may have been able to enjoy yourself a little.

Yui: —Yes, I did…

(But I actually wanted to show him what I‘m really capable of…)

end Game

Carla: Hmph…

Yui: What‘s wrong?

Carla: I was wondering if I could make you feel relaxed with doing this.

Yui: Eh?

Carla: You may have not noticed it yourself, but you have been persistently showing a stiff face ever since you woke up.

Yui: I-I‘m sorry… I didn‘t even notice if I did show an unpleasant face...

Carla: Whatever. Anyway, I truly hope this has relaxed you for at least a little bit. Let us continue.

*Carla leaves*

Yui: Ah! Please wait for me!!

(Speaking of which, I don‘t know if I really feel better… but I now know Carla-san actually does care about this whole situation)

(I know it‘s way more difficult to enjoy yourself while being in a hurry though...)

Place: Underground corridor

Carla: —Is this truly the place the twins usually stay at?

Yui: Yes, at least Aji-san said so.

Carla: Let us continue then. These vampire twins, or even just a companion of them, should be discovered right away once we proceed searching.

Yui: I think so too. Let‘s go on.

*time passes*

Carla: Here…

Yui: What should we do now?

Carla: They might think I am here for an attack. Even if I am no threat, they might try to run away when seeing me.

Yui: In that case, I‘ll try my luck….

*Yui knocks on their house*

Yui: —Excuse me. Is anyone in there right now?

*Yui knocks again*

Yui: ...Nobody seems to be inside.

Carla: ...No, that is not it. Even if you cannot see it with your eyes, I will not be tricked by something as simple as that.

They are inside, but they pretend to be out.

Yui: ….. !

*Yui knocks again*

Yui: Please! If you‘re inside there, please come out! We have something important to talk about!

*Yui knocks again*

Yui: —Please, open up!

Nn… it‘s no use...

Carla: —It cannot be helped then.

*Carla charges magic*

Yui: Carla-san!?

Carla: If they show rough behaviour, so will I—

Yui: Whatever the circumstances, you can‘t do that! They're having children inside there after all! 

Carla: Even though they are children, is it not true that they were the ones silently stealing the gem, and now they are cowardly barricading themselves?

If so, they are splendid thieves indeed. But they will not be forgiven.

*Carla continues charging magic*

Yui: P-Please! Open up for us! Otherwise we have to—

Twin Children Vampire A: ….. !

Twin Children Vampire B: O-Our house… please don‘t break it… !

*Carla continues charging magic*

Carla: ...You two, show yourselves. You were the ones quietly stealing the melted stone from the shop, is that right?

Twin Children Vampire B: Eek… !

Twin Children Vampire A: I-I‘m scared...

Carla: You will not be forgiven, even if you cry.

Yui: Nn…

(These children are completely startled by his appearance… !) 

Carla-san, please calm down! I‘ll take over here—

Twin Children Vampire B: Uwuahhhhh!! We‘re sorry!!

Twin Children Vampire A: We‘re so sorry!!

Carla: Nn… !

Yui: Come on, there‘s no need to cry, right? Why don‘t you tell your big sis about everything in detail?

Twin Children Vampire B: Y-You won‘t get angry… and destroy our house if we do, right?

Carla: About that—

Yui: Carla-san!

Carla: Tch…

*Carla steps back*

Yui: Good. Your big sis won‘t get angry nor destroy your house if you try to explain yourself to her.

Did you take the stone with you because you‘re in some sort of difficult circumstances? Please let me know about that first.

Twin Children Vampire B: Err… what should we do?

Twin Children Vampire A: We have no other choice but to tell her...

Yui: So you do want to tell me about it?

Twin Children Vampire B: Yes. Please come with us.

Yui: Eh? Where are we going?

Twin Children Vampire A: It will be easier if you see it for yourself…

*they start walking*

Yui: (Where exactly are they planning on bringing us?)

Carla: —Good grief. That is exactly why children are not my favorites.

Place: Subterranean tunnel — Large door

Yui: ...Where‘s this place… ? There‘s only a huge door...

Twin Children Vampire A: Right behind this door is a direct way to the castle‘s basement. It barely opens up for anyone, and if it does, rarely any people are going through it.

Twin Children Vampire B: That‘s why… here...

Carla: ...Are you hiding something here?

Twin Children Vampire A: Yes… it‘s somebody called Gazby.

*dog barks*

Yui: A dog!?

Twin Children Vampire A: Gazby!

*dog barks again*

Twin Children Vampire B: Gazby is our dog.

Yui: ...Ah, so that‘s it. You two really have a cute doggie.

Twin Children Vampire A: Right? Gazby has been together with us ever since we were born.

Yui: I see. But we came here because we have to talk to you two about the stone, right?

Carla: —This dog, it has been bitten by the medusa snake as well.

Yui: Eh!?

Twin Children Vampire A: Nn… he‘s right. The first time I encountered the snake was when I played with Gazby in the forest… and that‘s also when he was bitten by it.

Gazby desperately needs help...

Yui: Ah, I understand. That means, Gazby‘s petrifaction has started spreading through his body too...

But why didn‘t you even try honestly telling Aji-san about it?

I‘m sure she would‘ve made the medicine, by melting the stone, as soon as possible if you told her about it.

Twin Children Vampire A: —Because she would‘ve said that it‘s just a dog anyway.

Carla: What do you mean?

Twin Children Vampire B: Our papa and mama already told us that we should give up on it since he‘s just a dog.

They said even if we did manage to stop the petrifaction by using the gem, he would still die someday.

Yui: That is...

Carla: Then, why did you not use your abilities on Gazby in order to make his body become immortal in case the moment of departure arrives?

You should have known he might pass away sooner or later.

Twin Children Vampire A: ...Hmm.

Twin Children Vampire B: We didn‘t really think too much about that until now. It‘s true that dogs aren‘t normal animals in the demon world, so he‘ll surely die someday, but...

If we make Gazby‘s body unable to die anymore, it wouldn‘t feel as if it‘s really Gazby anymore.

Carla: …..

Yui: (Somehow, this is the same as I feel about that… this suddenly reminded me of a conversation I had with Carla-san…)

Twin Children Vampire A: We know that we have to part ways someday.

But that‘s exactly why we think it‘s ridiculous not to cure something, which clearly can be healed. 

Twin Children Vampire B: That‘s right… but both, dad and mom… no, all adults don‘t really understand us.

*dog whines painfully*

Twin Children Vampire A: We‘re begging you! Please give the medicine, made with the stone, to us!

Twin Children Vampire B: Please!

Twin Children Vampire A: I heard you‘re being referred to as a founder, a person who possesses the strongest magic among anyone else anyway, isn‘t that right… ?

Carla: …..

Yui: ...Nn…

(What should we do now… ? I really want to hand the medicine over to those children… but if we do that, Aji-san—)

*backflash*

Aji: Here, this is a list of all the missing ingredients. Bring me what you can get, and don‘t worry about it too much if you can‘t.

Carla: There are quite many missing.

Aji: Can‘t change that. However, this is the only way we can obtain the antidote little by little…

It is the only way to save you.

*backflash ends*

Yui: (—This is what she said…)

…..

Carla: —I understand. Take it.

Twin Children Vampire A: Eh!? R-Really!?

Twin Children Vampire B: I‘m so happy! Gazby!

*dog barks*

Yui: But, Carla-san—

Carla: It is okay.

Yui: Nn…

Carla: Believe in me.

Yui: (It‘s not like I‘m not believing in him. I know Carla-san is a really kindhearted person and all, but… I‘m still feeling uneasy about this situation…)

Carla: Hey, children. You have to hand over the gem first, otherwise the antidote will not be able to be finished. Aji has to be the one mixing the medicine together after all.

Twin Children Vampire A: Okay!

Carla: Good. Now, let us go.

Twin Children Vampire A: Yes!

Twin Children Vampire B: Yes!

Yui: Haa...

(I can‘t help myself but wonder about what might happen next. The most important thing we can do for now is to stop the petrifaction from spreading inside the dog…)

Place: Demon world — Reine • de • Aji store

Carla: We are back.

Aji: Nn! I was impatiently waiting for you! Where is the stone?

Carla: …..

Aji: My, My! Ngh, you guys really did manage to bring it back after all?

Twin Children Vampire A: I‘m sorry…

Twin Children Vampire B: I‘m sorry, too…

Aji: I‘ll do the preaching later. I have to mix the antidote first, now that I have this back. Wait here obediently until I‘m done!

*Aji leaves*

Yui: Okay…

Carla: ...Good. After that — Hey, Yui.

Yui: Hm?

Carla: Follow me.

Yui: ….. ?

(Follow me, he said… where on earth are we supposed to go?)

Place: Glimmer Main Street — Zatan’s mouth

Yui: ...Carla-san, what exactly do you want to do here?

Carla: Just watch.

…..

Yui: (..... ? ...Carla-san, what are you doing… ?)

*Carla uses magic*

Carla: Ngh… !!

Yui: Nn… !

Carla: …..

*Carla uses magic*

Yui: Carla-san… I, um—

Carla: Stay quiet. Just a little more.

Yui: …..

Carla: Okay — this will do.

Yui: ….. ?

Carla: I have given the snake that bit me a strong punishment about its doing.

Yui: Isn‘t the snake only in there while the sun shines?

Carla: Here, look for yourself.

Yui: Kyaaaa!? T-The snake is still right there—

Carla: I already put the snake under my control by now. I had to set a curse on it.

Yui: ….. !?

Carla: —Now, medusa snake, come on my hand.

*snake peeks outside*

Carla: Oh my, you have made me go through some sort of bitter experiences indeed.

This would have never happened to me, if I had been aware of the existence of this particular matter in the first place.

But it does not matter any longer. You will be able to make up for the sins you have created with your own body soon enough.

Yui: Nn… what does that exactly mean?

Carla: —That stone… it has been dissolved in the interior body of this snake from the very beginning.

Yui: ...Nn… so that‘s it! Does that mean the exact same stone‘s really inside that snake?

Carla: Well, the size of the jewel must have narrowed since it may have reached its upper limit.

But over this short amount of time, it could not possibly afford shrinking too much either. I would have to take out the stone to prove that.

We only have to capture it now—

Yui: Is it seriously okay to touch it barehanded?

Carla: It will not be able to resist because of the effective spell I put upon it… Nn…

—What!? What is this supposed to mean… !?

Yui: Kyaaa!?

(It spouted!!)

*Carla protects Yui*

Carla: —Nn!!

Yui: Carla-san… !!

(It can‘t be… !! Carla-san can‘t be bitten again, he can‘t…)

Are you okay!?

Carla: Tch… it appears as if the spell has not worked successfully because of its poison... it seems to still have enough willpower to go against it...

Are you alright, at least?

Yui: Yeah, only because Carla-san ended up protecting me though...

Carla: Good...

Yui: Other than that, Carla-san...

Nn… !

*Yui hugs Carla*

Yui: Nn…

Carla: Is there anything to cry for? I have already been bitten by it once by now. If I have not changed after one time, I will not after another.

Yui: Are you sure about that? The petrifaction won‘t keep on moving forward faster… is that really true?

Carla: I have been taking this with me for a long time now, would you not agree?

So, do not cry… Nn...

*Carla kisses Yui*

Yui: (Carla-san… he‘s really affectionate. Even though… he‘s in such a critical situation right now…)

Carla: Okay. We will now take the snake with us, and then make sure to give it to Aji.

Yui: Nn… yes… !

Place: Demon world — Reine • de • Aji store

Carla: —We are back.

Twin Children Vampire B: Welcome back!!

Carla: The medicine?

Twin Children Vampire A: Oh, yes. Look, it‘s over there.

Aji: —I‘ve heard it from the children already, but are you really willing to give the medicine to them?

Carla: Yes, that is my intention.

Aji: Good grief, our founder-sama really is a praiseworthy person. What will you do about your petrification then?

Carla: —With this, even a small amount should be enough. Would you be willing to make another antidote?

Aji: Oh my, the medusa snake… I see, that‘s what you thought of.

However, I won‘t be able to make enough medicine to completely detoxify your whole body with just this one.

Even so, are you okay with that?

Carla: It is fine. As long as I am able to continue living after only half of my body has turned into stone.

Aji: Alright. I‘ll start making it immediately.

Yui: —U-Um… can I ask something?

That snake… will you end up killing it?

Aji: Why would you care about something like that?

Yui: That‘s because...

Carla: ...Is there perhaps a method to get the gem out of the snake without killing it?

Yui: Carla-san… !

Aji: Hmm, it wouldn‘t be much of a problem taking it out without killing it, but it will take some time to do so.

In the meantime, the petrification could be possibly completed by then, you know? Do you still want that?

Carla: Yes.

Aji: Okay, fine. Well then, keep waiting a little.

*Aji leaves*

Carla: Now, kids. Give this medicine to your dog.

Twin Children Vampire B: Nn… thank you… really!

Twin Children Vampire A: Founder-sama… you‘re really an amazing man!

Carla: I told you, I do not joke around. Now go, quickly.

Twin Children Vampire B: Yes! U-Um… this...

Carla: What is this? An ornament… ?

Twin Children Vampire A: This is to show our gratitude. Well then… ! 

*they run off*

Carla: ...Now what exactly is this?

Yui: As those two already said, they just wanted to give you something to thank you.

Carla: Hmph. Good grief… that is exactly why children are not my cup of tea.

Yui: (Even if he does say such a thing, Carla-san seems way more gentle to children than to others)

—Carla-san, you‘d surely make a good father in the future...

Carla: ...Ngh… !

Yui: Carla-san!!

Carla: —Fuck… the petrifaction… it‘s progressing… Nn… !

Yui: (Nn… mostly every part of his body… has already turned into stone… !)

Carla-san! Please, hang in there… !

Carla: I… I‘m al… right...

*Yui gets closer*

Carla: Ngh…

Yui: (...Please! Come back… faster… please, hurry up!)

*time passes*

Aji: —I must‘ve kept you waiting.

Yui: Nn… ! Aji-san… Carla-san, he is… !

Aji: Good god, this is bad. We have to give him the medicine as soon as possible.

Be aware to be careful not to spill anything.

Yui: Carla-san… Carla-san… !!

Carla: …..

Aji: He already lost consciousness. It‘s already impossible for him to drink the medicine all by himself.

Yui: —Then, I‘ll make him drink it mouth-to-mouth...

Nn…

Carla: Nn…

Yui: (Please… work… dear goddess, please let it work… !)

(Carla-san… come back!)

*Carla slowly moves*

Yui: (Ah! The petrification… it loosened…)

Aji: I‘m so glad. It seems as if you did it right in time.

Yui: Yes… !

Carla: Nn… Yui… ?

Yui: Yes, I‘m here… ! Carla-san… how are you feeling?

Carla: I feel better now… luckily… it feels as if the petrifaction has loosened itself in my whole body...

Aji: I‘m glad. Since you‘re a founder, only this much amount must‘ve been enough to cure it completely.

This is definitely not normal otherwise.

Carla: Aji, I have to thank you.

Aji: No, No. It‘s only natural to help other people who are troubled by something. 

—By the way, I‘ll take the full responsibility of releasing the snake deep into one of the forests.

Carla: I see… please do.

Aji: Okay!

*Carla dresses up*

Carla: Well, then… next… should be your turn.

Yui: Eh? My turn?

Carla: …..

Yui: My turn you say… then, ah, is that so...

I‘m sorry. My head might‘ve been full with everything that has happened with Carla-san, and that‘s probably how I forgot about myself.

Carla: Haa, that is simply the woman you are… you are way too good-natured for a normal person.

Yui: ...Probably...

(I only came to this parade because of a treasure that has been stolen from me, but with everything that has been going on, it must‘ve been natural that I forgot about myself)

Carla: —Hey, Walter… are you listening?

Yui: Eh?

Earl of Walter: —Kuku, as expected from your awareness.

Yui: (Nn, the voice of the Earl was coming from somewhere in the sky or something… !)

Carla: I noticed it indeed. You have been continuously doing this for a while.

Yui: W-What is that supposed to mean?

Earl of Walter: Both of your actions, I‘ve been continuously looking at them for a long time by now.

Yui: (I didn‘t even notice him at all…)

Carla: —And, what about it now? Do you feel like returning her heart?

Earl of Walter: I don‘t think so...

Carla: Nn… stop joking around… !

Yui: Carla-san!?

Place: Glimmer street — Eisen alley

Carla: I will not accept you saying that. She is someone who, in comparison to me, should have her strength being recognized.

This woman is truthful. She is in comparison to anyone, pure.

She is the one and only woman who is worth possessing this sort of heart. I will not let you say anything different from this!

Yui: (Carla-san… I think this might be the first time I‘ve ever seen him shouting out like that…)

Earl of Walter: —My, My. It appears as if I have no other choice but to surrender.

Yui: Eh… ?

(Nn… !?)

(My chest… Nn… !)

Carla: —Hey! Hang in there!

*Carla comes closer*

Carla: Hey!

Yui: Nn… I-I‘m okay...

Earl of Walter: —I certainly did return it now.

Carla: Hey, did he surely return it back to you?

Yui: ...Yes, he did...

Carla: Nn...

*Carla leans toward her chest*

Carla: —What a relief.

Yui: (Carla-san…)

Earl of Walter: Therefore, I‘m done here. But, enjoy the finale of the parade to your complete heart‘s content, please do this much for me.

Carla: Never appear again!

Earl of Walter: —Fufu, then…

*Earl disappears*

Yui: Ah...

Carla: This issue seems to be settled.

Yui: Yes!

(I was already wondering what would happen at first…)

(But because of all the things that happened to us, I was able to see various aspects of Carla-san again, and I did that without even being able to enjoy the parade at its fullest until now.)

(I was, once again, able to see his other colors for myself, and I‘ll never forget about this sort of feeling any longer. In order to do so, I‘ll keep on living…)

(—With Carla-san together…)

Carla: Now, in that case—

Yui: Let‘s enjoy the remaining time we still have!

Carla: Yes.

[animeyanderelover]

Can you write number 18 to Finny

I love to write about delusional Yanderes! Finny will be aged up in here.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, delusions, kidnapping, violence, Yandere harming the s/o

Prompt 18: “I-I just want you to love me!”

“Please stop!! Stop crying!! Tell me what I have to do to help you, but stop crying!!!” You didn’t stop crying. How could you stop your tears from falling in a situation like this?! You didn’t even know if you were crying because he had caught you once again or if you were crying because he had broken your leg. It was probably both. “Stop it!!” Finny came closer to you, wanting to comfort you, but the moment he stepped even one inch closer to you you bursted out in even more into tears. Your breathing quickened and you were almost about to start hyperventilating, but at least Finny realized that and stepped away. He had a heartbroken expression on his face. “I just want to help you!! Please let me!!” His desperate screams fell on deaf ears. You refused to let him come any more near to you than he already was. “S-stay away from m-me.”, you sobbed. “(y-(y/n).” His voice sounded sincerely hurt, but he also believed sincerely that you were his goddess which he had to protect and also believed that kidnapping and breaking your leg in order for you to understand was right. What had actually happened here?

Flashback

You had only one goal in mind, escaping him! And now you had the chance too. That was at least what you had thought until now. But you had underestimated how much earlier Finny would come home just to see you again. That had thrown your carefully planned escape completely out of it’s track. You didn’t know how much distance there was between you and him, but you knew for sure that it was decreasing more and more because his calls for you were getting louder and louder. “(y/n!! Come back here my little angel!! This world is too dangerous for you to be out!!” Damn it! His screams had gotten louder again, meaning that he had again came closer to you. You dared to look back for a short moment, but you still couldn’t see him. That was at least a good sign. But you started to get panicked. You could feel how you were getting more and more tired the longer you continued to run and you knew that you would reach your limits very soon. But the important question right now was whether you would manage to reach the town before you were finished. How far was London even away? Hopefully not too far. “(y/n)!! Please stop running away!! You might slip and hurt yourself!! Let’s go back home my goddess!! I’ll bring you your favorite snacks if you want too!!”

You forgot to breathe for a second, a mistake because suddenly the painful stinging in your sides became even worse. You gritted your teeth. His voice! It had sounded so incredibly close! For a moment you were almost too afraid to look back, but you still forced your head to turn back for a short second. Dread started to shoot through your body. You could see him! Finny was still a good amount of feet behind you, but judging by his speed you knew that it wouldn’t take long until he would reach you. You started increasing your speed as much as possible too, absolutely terrified of what he would do as soon as he would reach you. “Angel!! Please stop running!! I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid!!” Was he really thinking that you would stop when he would say this to you?! You were running away from him because you were afraid of HIM! Suddenly you heard a peculiar sound behind you. You glanced shortly behind you and nearly stopped in your track when you saw what was going on behind you. Finny had just ripped out on of the trees and was currently aiming for the area in front of you. “(y/n)!! Please be careful now or you might get hurt!!” With these words he threw the tree powerfully in the air. You couldn’t help, but follow it with your eyes, not having enough time to react when it suddenly crashed in the ground right in front of you. You let out a shocked scream, but couldn’t slow down in time. You collided painfully hard with the tree trunk and for a moment all of the air in your lungs was being knocked out and you stumbled back before landing on your ass. You were in daze for a second before jumping panicked up. You needed to escape! You needed to run!

But when you wanted to start sprinting again you were suddenly lifted up in someone’s arms. “(y/n)!! Please never do this again!! I was so scared that something would happen to you or that I wouldn’t be able to catch you!!” No, no, no, no! Every rational thought which may have helped you out started disappearing and the only thing you could think of right now was starting to kick and screaming. “No! Let go of me! I need to escape! Please let me go!” “But why would you want to run away when I’m there for you? I just want to protect you.” You didn’t hear him and continued protesting, but this guy here was strong and you weren’t able to escape his iron-like grip. “Stop struggling! I just want to keep you safe!!” You didn’t listen to him and you didn’t even realize his words, too scared and panicked to calm down. If you would have done that you could have probably avoided the next thing from happening. But you didn’t. Everything happened so fast that you didn’t even realize it as first. In one moment your left leg was kicking against Finny and in the next moment Finny grabbed it and with one fast grip an unpleasant sound was heard and suddenly your leg hang loosely down. You were at first too stunned to process what had happened, but when the pain suddenly started kicking in your eyes widened in horror and a loud scream escaped your lips. He had just broken your leg!

“I’m sorry for ruining your perfect body, but I promise it’s only for your best! Like this you can’t run away from me anymore! And that gives me the chance to protect you! Don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.” With these words he carried you back to the place where you had run away from, the place you didn’t want to return. But trying to reason with Finny was meaningless.

Flashback End

By now Finny had went on his knees, trying desperately to crawl closer to you and touch you, but he flinched back every time when you started crying harder. “What did I do wrong?! Please tell me so I can fix it!!” Did he seriously not know what he had done wrong?!?! “Are you dumb?! Do you seriously ask me what you did wrong?! You broke my fucking leg! It hurts! It hurts like shit!!” It seemed like you had just hit Finny in his face because his expression twisted into a hurt and desperate one. “I only did that because I wanted to protect you! You’re too fragile to be out there alone and I just wanted to help you realizing that you need me! I can protect you! I’m existing only for the reason to make sure that no one can harm you!” For a second a shocked look crossed your face. It wasn’t the first time that he had told you this, but you couldn’t help, but feel shocked every time he told you his twisted fantasies. “Protecting me my ass!! I was able to survive without you my whole life and I still can!! If you’re my guardian then I’m already as good as dead!! Don’t you get it?! I don’t need you in order to survive!!”

It almost seemed like a shadow crossed Finny’s eyes, but you hadn’t enough time to take a closer look because he suddenly sank his head so that you weren’t able to see his eyes anymore, but you were still able to see the tears dripping down his face. Was he really crying because of your words? “Why?”, he mumbled quietly. Finny clenched his fists and suddenly started shaking that you were for a moment worried about him. That was until he suddenly punched both of his fists into the ground, immediately creating a hole inside of the floor. “Why don’t you get it that I only do this to protect you?!” He looked up with his tearfilled eyes. “I-I just want you to love me!” He moved once again closer towards you, but this time you were too stunned to react in some way, his pure desperation shocking you. Since you didn’t say anything against him Finny moved closer and closer until his body was pressed against yours. He had a slightly hopeful look in his eyes because you weren’t fighting him and took this chance to pull you into a tight and desperate hug. “Please love me...”

[dappersheep]

Another Thing About Spaghetti

Warning: Long analysis on Spaghetti that will get confusing going forward, also has a dash of rant for flavoring. Don't like? Skip. If none of you have read any of the SP backstories, be warned there are spoilers ahead.

Something I've been thinking about for the past two years or so of delving into Food Fantasy's lore on Spaghetti and everyone connected to him... it's made clear to me that his very presence in a lot of the Food Souls he's interacted with is like a lynchpin towards a less darker future for each of them. That's to say, without him, many of them wouldn't be alive and safe.

One can argue that it's Funtoy's shoddy writing to make him important -usually the sentiments of someone who hasn't read enough varied literature-, but I can argue the same for other Food Souls who feel shoehorned to be important in the lives of other Food Souls, so to each his own. Anyway-

Someplace somewhere, I've discussed at length that without Spaghetti's intervention in a lot of places, a lot of Food Souls he has recruited would either be dead, imprisoned or worse off than what happens in the non-SP backstories.

But in order to organize the Desire Tavern team as it is, the sacrifice he has to pay forward is a steep one. He is unaware of it as far as I've concluded in terms of timelines, but what he pays is the loss of his personal happiness, aka his Master Attendant. In fact, if Spaghetti ever gets his wish, they are bound for an ending that is more tragic.

With the introduction of SP B52 Cocktail's bio, we get a glimpse of a timeline wherein Spaghetti manages to somehow avoid the death of his Master Attendant at the 'intended moment'. It is never said explicitly how, since it is not the focus of the story. All we know for sure is that Spaghetti and his Master Attendant lived with people.

Also a little segway, no matter how short this scene was, we also get a glimpse and some confirmation that yes, Spaghetti is quite capable of caring for humans. Were they the noble family and simply found a change of heart to care more for their half brother? Are they a new family that Spaghetti and his Master Attendant founded? We don't know. We don't know if Spaghetti has developed a cunning and manipulative streak here either, but knowing the lengths he'd go to protect his Master Attendant? Not unlikely.

And yet, for this borrowed time of being happy together, the consequence was the violent end of not only his Master Attendant, but everyone he cared for and his own death by SP B52's inferno.

B52 Cocktail, who in a more familiar timeline, never fully turned into the drug-pumped, mindless murder weapon he is as his SP counterpart and found some form of peace with two other OK Food Souls. And who was the catalyst for that? Spaghetti and the thief coming in to murder B52's dick of a Master Attendant.

It is likely that, with Spaghetti missing the appointed time to save any of his teammates on top of other small important factors:

> Stargazey Pie is very dead, quite obviously from SP B52. > Surstromming was heavily implied to be the cursed siren the labs have imprisoned in one of the other cells. > Black Pudding was left to die if the Holy See still came after her and her Master Attendant. > Black Forest Cake was left untouched. Probably the only one to benefit from all this. > Margarita never joins the non-existent Desire Tavern and may join Holy See. But judging from the SP Beer bio which takes place in.... quite many timelines, she's never introduced or mentioned and that's kind of telling me something unpleasant. > Borscht never found someone to help her exact revenge, or even if she decided to do it herself, upon finding that the rebellion ate itself out, had no one to give her a purpose to go on. > Oyster's fate is left unknown.

Some will be happy about Spaghetti getting his just desserts, some will be on the fence about it, some will be horrified that Funtoy turned B52 into this. I say it's just another piece of lore that feeds me, however sad it makes me.

But also looking at it, it just completes a clearer picture of Spaghetti for me. He's not as villainous as I or anyone first assumed him to be. He's at best, an anti-hero since he still operates on a set of principles he will not break. Even if he has rapport and a partnership with the likes of Whiskey (this is a short analysis for a different time), and even if Peking and Beer had stated that Spaghetti isn't a good person, he still follows his own brand of justice, as Peking and Beer also have their own brand of justice.

And at worst, he's an anti-villain, someone who has decided to punish the wicked humans in his own way, and won't hesitate even if there's collateral damage or Food Souls standing in his way. And that is what makes him the antagonist to the story of the 'heroes'. However, what good that is left in him manifests in his desire to care for the ones who follow him, even if he himself will never admit that he thinks of them as more than just pawns, passing himself off as cocksure, egoistic, and without a need for attachments.

Too bad Borscht and Oyster are perceptive, even if they can't figure out the whole picture or penetrate all of his defenses. He's only able to get away with it so far because they let him have this.

I like to think that at the very bottom of his layers of masks, all he wants is to be happy again. But he's buried that notion with the death of his Master Attendant, and doesn't want to experience the same heartbreak as he already felt. Perhaps he has a reason for keeping his heart shut away. Who knows what madness from grief can do to a Food Soul, a being susceptible to Falling.

Now things can change in the future if Funtoy ever introduces a new SP Food Soul that somehow retcons bits and pieces of what I've said.

Will there be an SP Oyster? Possible, and maybe the most likely out of the team since his fate is the most certain to change. But until Funtoy actually teases his existence, I would keep expectations low and well within the realm of fanon.

[akimmito]

I’ll still be with you

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Master List

Chapter 2: The blue of the sky

Maybe, I can never see this sky again...

The raindrops fall in silent lament, drowning out the noise of the city that is prey to its tears. He just watches the clouds above him, ignoring the water and allowing himself to soak, the white uniform shirt sticks to him defining the muscles he hides underneath, the hair almost covering his eyes as it drips following the rhythm imposed by the sky.

"From here, I can't tell if you're crying or not."

Damian looks away from the dark sky and meets his best friend's vibrant blue, a brilliant color among all the gray that surrounds him. Since that fateful night everything has lost its meaning, didn't he want to make his father proud? Didn't he want to show that he could do great things? Didn't he want to find his own way?

"You're going to get sick, let's go to class."

"No, I'll stay here..."

"Shall I call Alfred or Dick? You don't look good. ”He keeps staring at the blue, sees it blur with the boy's conflicting emotions. Jon is still three years younger than him, it doesn't matter that he's already nearing puberty. His features are still childish, he still lights up as if he were his own sun without needing the star that revitalize him.

"I'll be fine, I just need time..."

Why do I feel this way?

Jon just watches him before nodding, doesn't say anything else, and walks away. He gives him little glances the further he walks back to the classroom, for several days he has been that way, sad. And as if the skies of Gotham felt it, the same amount of time it has been raining, shedding the tears that the teenager is not able to let go.

Damian looks back at the clouds, feeling his eyes sting. In an attempt to contain the sensation, he closes his eyes and just lets himself be felt, the drops soaking him even more, knowing that Alfred won't be happy when he sees him dripping so much water that he could give a whole neighborhood drink. But the rain stops falling on him and he opens his eyes again, a black umbrella protects him.

"I extended a permit to your teacher, come with me."

Damian feels the return of the rain abruptly on him and sees Drake walking towards the main entrance, unlike him, his brother is so neat that he doesn't seem to be walking in the rain. He looks at him for just one more moment before walking behind him.

Before, when he first arrived, he saw Drake as someone inferior, as a piece to be eliminated from the board in order to achieve his objectives, he earned his contempt and a cold shoulder that prevailed until now. Drake is the hardest to read, always hidden behind a sympathetic image, easy to ignore, easy to underestimate and forget that, of all the Wayne family members, he's the most dangerous. He runs Wayne Enterprise better than Bruce, everyone says, the efficiency of the company grew as soon as he got the full job a year ago. Drake is nineteen years old and it's already everything Bruce never asked for, but is proud to have.

If I were like him would my father be proud? Would he love me more?

They move silently through the damp streets of the city, Damian has his eyes fixed on the drops that crash against the glass of the window. There was no comment, Drake just handed him his jacket and now it's just as wet as the rest of him.

He don't want to keep thinking, he just want your mind to push all the thoughts that drown him and let he breathe easy. He feels tormented by not being able to fulfill his father's expectations, by the quiet years in the company of Richard and that were broken by the abrupt return of Bruce, by the time it left and will never return, by the lost happiness, for the torn illusions and for the dreams that are impossible to reach on a horizon that recedes with each step he takes.

"I'm Sorry."

Damian turns to Drake immediately, he's suddenly with the blue of the sky that is dimmed by sadness.

"Why?"

"It's my fault, I brought Bruce back."

He doesn't say anything, maybe that's enough, because his brother returns all his attention to the streets.

The sound of the rain envelops them and the cold is almost welcoming. Damian closes his eyes and leans against the glass, he doesn't care about the destination as long as it's as far as possible from the mansion, the school and everything that haunts him. Because he failed.

I just have to resist… it's the only thing I can do.

I'll not change my father's mind.

I'll not change overnight...

The lack of movement brings him back to reality, the noise of the drops hitting the car is not heard either. They are under cover.

"Where we are?"

"My home."

Sure, Drake lives in the city. Like Todd, he follows the patrol routes imposed by Batman, but no longer lives in the mansion. It's just Bruce, Alfred and him...

A sense of tranquility floods him, it's not the mansion. It's a place without shadows, but neither with a light that he doesn't deserve. Follow Drake up to the tall silver, barely noticing the details of the apartment, though it0s more of a complete building. He vaguely remembers that it's the old theater near the alley where his grandparents died, it was not important and still is not, it is almost surprising how detached he feels to the whole thing, when that event was the first and great event that he brought to life to Batman. He could say, without shame, that he feels closer to the death of Richard's parents, because he always spoke to him about them and made him part of those moments, he made them his family.

"Why are we here, Drake?"

He sees him wandering aimlessly until he stops in front of a door, gives him a glance before entering the new environment. Damian follows him, assuming the answer to his question is there.

A room so small that it could be a matchbox, at odds with the large space enjoyed in the previous room. Stacked books and scattered papers are the main decorations, but the most important are the two computers. Drake works in that little 4x4 space? The place is visibly uncomfortable.

"Drake."

"Bruce is being unfair to you." Damian frowns, his brother doesn't face him, he can only see him in profile while he turns on one of the two computers. The light illuminates his face, making his dull expression better to see. "I was also unfair to you six years ago and I remained so for a long time, I was stuck in your version of ten years. I'm sorry for that too, you deserved more. We're family."

It was never a secret that Drake held a grudge against him and to receive such a sincere apology, admitting that it wasn't just Damian who made mistakes, it's a new and unfamiliar feeling. It's not exactly unpleasant, although it does cause him some discomfort.

"I know it was an accident. I can't judge you for that, I've been close to passing that line… ”He falls silent and begins typing, opening files and an email. Damian begins to suspect that those computers are not for work, he looks for the switch and when the whole room is properly lit, he can see everything in greater detail.

Stacked books are magic, since when has Drake been interested in magic? It's no secret that he feels rejection towards it, so it's strange. The scattered papers, for some that he can read, are bank accounts and other documents related to a certain Gabriel Agreste. On the far wall are a couple of photographs, guarded as if they were a secret. Red Robin and a spotted heroine, Drake and a young girl with bright blue eyes and a kind smile. He can only assume that it's the same woman.

"What is all this?"

"The memories of my trip."

Damian doesn't make sense in his words, but doesn't push. He's tired of pushing.

Just hold on... this place is at least much better than the mansion.

"I'll go."

"Hm?"

"I'll leave Gotham and I'll not return." Only until then does he look at the screen, there is another photo of that same woman, but in the design of a French Marie Lenoir passport, he's sure that this is not her real Name. Next to it's also one of him, Timothée Rothchild. That just confirms it's not her real name. "There is something I must do and it will take me a lifetime."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Do you want to come?"

Damian just watches him open another document and this time, it's his photo with a blank passport.

I wanna go?

Maybe that's the time to go back and find my way...

---------

I don't know if I managed to express well the feeling of melancholy and of being... lost, yes. I hope I have made it.

What did you think?

[parappa-and-lammy]

Disabled OCs 2: Electric Boogaloo

it’s them, they’re here! Or yknow, a chunk of em. i had a LOT backlogged and there are even more in store i have saved away - the ones here are the most fleshed out!

To start, with who appears to already pique peeps interest:

⬆️ Bumble Bea the flower-capybara! 

Most notable is her golden and wild long flowing hair. It has green streaks through it, along with plenty of flowers; some grown by her, and others gathered throughout her life. They’re able to stay alive as long as she keeps them in her mane. Definitely the hippie type, she enjoys being around people and in nature. She is friendly towards everyone, and calls them all some variation of “honey” (hun, honey bun, hun bun..,), she’ll even sometimes pluck a flower to give to you!

Her original dream was to be a rockstar sensation, specializing in psychedelic rock. She even has her own custom guitar (which looks like a bumblebee!). Has hyperthyroidism and fibromyalgia - the chronic pain of which made her decide to retire. She’ll come out to play every so often, just not so extensively as before. For now, she simply hangs out with her family and helps them with their own problems.

⬆️ Lonnie Lop the jerboa-rabbit!

Lonnie is a jokester who doesn’t take much seriously. So much so, he sometimes forgets that some topics are off limits. Barely being an adult, he has trouble judging people, and tends to take things at face value. He’s an overly emotional immature thing at times... but he’s discovered that his family is most important to him.

Lonnie wanted to become an idol more than anything way back when - he had the cuteness, the singing skill, the dancing and everything else! But they had all turned him down, and it’s not really a mystery why. He has a stoma on his abdomen and has a colostomy bag - the most decorated and brightly colored ones are his favorite. He is also borderline anemic and has pica - both of which caused an event that led to him getting the stoma in his childhood.

For now, he simply helps his family out with random little jobs. He looks up to Bumble, who he considers his sister. He still insists on becoming an idol somehow.

⬆️ Otto the otter!

He is a jolly old man with a big heart, and a laugh so loud it shakes the building. Some people might be off-put by his openness, but he’s nothing but sincere. He will always set time aside to listen to whatever problems you may be having, though he isn’t exactly the most intellectual. He’s a lil’ confused but he’s got the spirit.

Otto has epilepsy, along with chronic migraines. All his sons and daughters left the nest and got careers in the technological industry, and he’s nothing but happy for them. But he stays away from screens and such. He’s moreso a man that works with his hands. And he does! Whenever he isn’t in the house with his new found family, he’ll be outside working on a project.

After the passing of his wife and his kids going on to do great things, he’s opened his house up for the ones who have no home. Many people have come to call his house ‘home’ and become part of the family. He fosters kids and helps people feel appreciated when they never have. Bumble came by long ago and is officially part of the family. Lonnie was the first foster kid at his home, and also was the first to be adopted by him.

⬆️ Kato the croco-llope and Lea the sheep-leopard!

Lea has high morality, which many remember her for: she shall never speak ill of someone. Never outwardly be rude or mean to someone. She tends to prioritize helping others over herself, even to the point of bringing harm onto herself. At times like these, usually standoffish Kato will step in and stand up for her. They known each other for a very long time - Kato has known her most of his life, and Lea has known him for over a decade now.

Lea was born deaf and is very adept at ASL and reading lips. Kato lost his arm and eye, has hearing loss in his right ear, among other things, due to something that happened long ago. Despite this, he’s become quite skilled at kung fu - even CCMO has commended him, and request he train others at the dojo alongside him.

The two live at Otto’s Foster Home, with Lea having registered to be the full-time caretaker there. She made Kato go through the training and begrudgingly become registered as well, though he now enjoys it. Lea owns a specialized dulcimer while Kato has and can play his adungu. They’ll play as a duet for the kids sometimes, who always enjoy their little performances.

⬆️ Donna the chameleon-iguana!

She herself has barely any recollection of what she’s like. She remembers slipping away... and then ‘waking up’ in PaRappa Town. after an unpleasant run-in with a certain flower girl, Donna is guided towards the Otto home with the help of a kind rapping dog. She was shaken from the experience still, and simply finds vacancy there.

She wasn’t willing to open up to anyone there, yet finds an unlikely friend in someone called Theo. With his roundabout help and the eventual help of the others who live there, she manages to recover from her past experiences and unlock her past, so that she can finally put her best foot forward.

Donna had untreated juvenile arthritis, and now consequentially has joint damage from it, among other things. She wears loose clothes and has long ties attached to zippers in order to help her move with less strain.

⬆️ Theo the bugbot!

He is an old, cranky, pessimist grump who always has something snarky to say. You’d be lucky if he didn’t directly tell you straight to your face. Doesn’t acquaint much with the other people in the Otto household (where he resides), until he met Donna. They form an unlikely friendship - his abrasive attitude was what she needed to address her problems, and in turn, she helps him be less of an ass.

Congenitally amputated legs, so he attaches large wheels to spurs to get around. He also has pulmonary fibrosis that developed from sarcoidosis. He wears a powerful respirator he had built himself everywhere outside of his room. Hoists oxygen tanks on his back thanks to a vest he designed for himself. Theo also has a sort of addiction to chocolate - the one he wasn’t able to kick. He was very self-destructive in his youth, though he begrudgingly takes better care of himself now.

Theo is talented at home improvement, as can be seen with his assisted living tools. Though he’s embarrassed over it for multiple reasons, he can play the hurdy-gurdy quite well, and does so often when he’s alone in his room. He even played for Donna on one occasion, though he wouldn’t dream of showing the other people in the house his playing skills.

⬆️ Angel the anteater and Cupcake the sugar glider!

Angel was an overachieving student at the college, going for a degree in writing, until the day she became sick with what she thought was the flu. But after weeks of rest, she became worse and worse - and was eventually diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis (commonly known as chronic fatigue syndrome). She joined a support group so as not to be alone during this time. and met Cupcake, who instantly took a liking to her.

Cupcake has Crohn’s disease, and visibility problems due to complications with Crohn’s disease. She had to radically change her diet from before; she eats plenty of honey which helps, but misses cocoa products. The two live together in one dorm, with Cupcake not even hesitating to help Angel with whatever she needs. She always wanted to be a nurse, though she was teaching as Home Ec now.

When Angel inevitably loses her schooling and thus her dorm, the two move in together into Otto’s home. Angel gives what she can by helping the kids with their school curriculum. Cupcake helps her with that, and also teaching the kids other things they need to know. Angel is able to play the harp, while Cupcake plays the harpsichord. They make a fantastic duo, both as a duet and otherwise.

⬆️ Gilly Gary the garden snail!

A boy with the voice of an angel, Gilly was one of the foster kids at Otto’s home before being adopted by a quadruplet slug singing group. They all have a dream of being able to make it big performing all over the world - but until then, they perform at small venues all across PaRappa Town. They’ll sometimes even host fundraisers for homes and institutions that need it.

Though Gilly wants to be a star in the singing world, he doesn’t take much seriously. He just wants to goof off and have fun! He and Lonnie would raise trouble together, seeing as they brought the most mischievous side out of each other.

Gilly had his leg amputated at a young age due to a rapidly spreading infection, and uses Lofstran crutches to support himself. He really doesn’t care, though since he’s a bit of a fashionista (he adores the aesthetic of the mid to late 70s), he won’t EVER cut off a pant leg, and resigns to tucking it in instead. It comes in helpful when trying to sneak stuff into the movie theatre haha funni reference

⬆️ Pekh the wolf-rooster!

This is a cheerful, euphoric man who rises up early every day to greet the sun. He is incredibly happy with himself, and chivalrous - anything he has, he immediately gives to someone else. He already knows he’s glorious, so someone else should have it instead! Though, he isn’t really the sharpest beak on the block. He may be easily confused by something you say, but he’d support you all the way.

His kidneys don’t work very well, and so he gets a dialysis 3 days a week, but takes care of his body otherwise. Why wouldn’t he? He’s the best! On his way to the doctor office, he’ll yodel aloud to himself and everyone around, and will continue while getting the dialysis done. He has an AV fistula in his left arm. He wanted the graft, but the fistula was the better option.

Some people are a bit annoyed by his self-euphoria, but others find it endearing. His family (everyone in the Otto household) see him as a beacon of happiness - Lonnie looks up to him, Theo gets irritated by his bubbliness, while everyone else in the house cheers him on.

~

And that’s the 2nd round of disabled OCs! I had a blast designing them all. I still have so many more that have yet to be 100% done yet (and i even have the first round to shine up and reintroduce)! I’ll see yall when i put up round 3! These were so exhausting to draww