#also zam has trident vibes

[justanotherwaywardsoul]

just finished the pvp civ s1 finale. I HAVE EMOTIONS ABOIT THIS

anyone wanna spill their theories in the notes thanks I need something to stave off the brainworms

[saiintvalentiine]

Ok permission to go insane gotten!! It’s time! Okay Like imagine one day instead of Wemmbu getting dragged in by egg, it’s Wemmbu dragging Zam in while Wifies stares in concern at the pure amount of bickering and violence happening between them. They’re also both injured like they just got finished beating eachother up. It’s the first time Wemmbu willingly buys something and he argues with Zam the entire time.

Spoke and Mapicc run in, covered in gunpowder and smoke laughing at each other (Thankfully parrot isn’t in). They order the worst abomination of sweets Wifies has ever seen and he has to stop them from exploding something in the bakery. I have a feeling they would run out of the bakery after paying with rocks and get banned LMAO. They drag Minute in with them one time and for the first time, spoke and Mapicc are actually contained enough for the interaction to be semi-normal though they look beat up and are constantly looking at the windows and door.

Squiddo and Ash would stop in at the worst hours of the night (glitchduo/squidswag propaganda). Ash doesn’t even look at Wifies once and overpays for the eight treats Squiddo wants (each with the weirdest specifications) then walks out. Squiddo leaves Monopoly money in the tip jar.

Zam and Wemmbu: it's extra funny to imagine Zam being reasonably polite to Wifies. He's like "can I have a raspberry tart and a latte?" all normal and Wemmbu repeats his order in a mocking voice and Zam turns around and tries to choke him to death. Zam makes Wemmbu pay for them both but Wifies literally sees Wemmbu pickpocketing Zam. Weeks later Zam comes in, ALONE, and is pretty normal about it. Maybe a little nervous bc he's always anxious but Wifies treats him normally and Zam relaxes. The one time Wemmbu comes alone after, Wifies calls him weird. "You always act like you're being held hostage in here :/" meanwhile Wemmbu's just embarrassed that he's a regular.......... big bad Wemmbu who wanted to tear the Zam Empire down has a favorite bakery. Eugh.

Spoke, Mapicc, and Minute: oh they get MEGA banned. Wifies complains to Parrot about it after the fact, these two— two hooligans! in his bakery! And it turns out it's Parrot who told them about the bakery in the first place and he feels guilty. When they try to come back with Minute, Wifies locks the door on them at first. He doesn't want to let them back in but Minute convinces him that he'll keep them in line. Wifies props his trident behind him the whole time they're there as a threat that he will fuck them up this time. Spoke gets shiny eyes at the idea of stealing the trident. Minute cuffs him. Minute orders a whole bunch of pastries and some tea and pays, so Wifies likes him a lot more than he likes Spoke and Mapicc. Mapicc comes back with Zam once, and Wifies is wary, but he behaves himself. Zam clues Wifies into some things and the next time Devotions come by, Wifies smiles all innocently and says "I made some new cookies, would you like to try?" and the cookies look just like dog treats and Zam laughs and tries to feed them to Mapicc who bites his finger.

Squiddo and Ash: they come by at like 4 am. Wifies technically doesn't open until 5, but he lets them in. He tells them they'll have to wait a bit, as most things are only just finishing their baking time. He doesn't like Ash's vibes— the glitchiness puts him off. But Squiddo's chatty energy helps him not mind as much. Squiddo presses her face into the display glass, and he has to wipe it down after they're gone. He tries to return the extra diamonds, but Ash takes offense as if Wifies just called him broke, and Wifies has to laugh; he can't have a single normal client, can he? In the end, he likes them more than they unnerve him, so when they reappear a few weeks later at 4 am again he lets them in. He still insists that they should try to come in at normal operating hours, but it's a moot point. Squiddo gifts him a river stone once and he puts it in a corner of the display window. She's very happy to see it every time.