#also you should watch her videos if your in to swords and stuff

[trutletruffle]

so i read Just Stab Me Now by Jill Bearup (because i watch her youtube videos obviously) and it was actually really good. i wasn't expecting and i was very pleasantly surprised. it was a funny and well-researched, as well as accurately and compassionately portraying how real people act in stressful situations. as well as pandering to my dislike of writing/reading specifically for tropes. the book understands that a lot of banter and charged situations will always fall flat without previously established trust and respect, and that things that look good in a tik tok video are generally somewhere between icky and horrifying for most people. also did i mention that all of the plot lines are very interesting and that the romance is well done. anyhow i really enjoyed it and have not been able to stop thinking about it.

[whumpofalltime]

whump of all time

SEMIFINALS!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Hehe. more!

What's your favorite video game? What about show? And movie? And on each, what makes it your favorite?

What are some blogs you'd suggest to people that are kinda like yours?

When did you get into The Elder Scrolls? What about Magic the Gathering?

How often do you typically practice magic?

Optional additional question because it is a bit loaded and not everyone wants to answer something like this: What's your most hated discourse in the pagan/witchy community? It can be valid or kinda just ridiculous, your choice.

You are feeding me and I love that.

What's your favorite video game? What about show? And movie? And on each, what makes it your favorite?

O...only one? I like a lot of video games...but honestly I can't get over how fucking funny the Monster Hunter series is. Like yeah, random person, go fight some fucking monsters. Take up to two cats with you. Here's a giant sword or a gun. Godspeed.

As for show and movie, uh...I don't...watch a lot of things, admittedly. I prefer to just turn on YouTube videos in the background instead of a show or movie. But if I had to pick, I'd pick Robin Hood: Men in Tights for movie and Legends of Chima for show. If you've seen the fights I've been picking on my main blog, I hope they've been entertaining.

What are some blogs you'd suggest to people that are kinda like yours?

*cackles* Time to summon the friends and the people I follow.

@windvexer - Out here doing the most when it comes to musing on ways to take things from witchcraft 102 to witchcraft 207. A bunch of their posts about divination have taught me more about how to read tarot better.

@stormwaterwitch - Hey kids, do you like seeing someone else's fully-developed elemental system? Do you like deities? Do you like books? My dear friend does it all!

@lazywitchling - DIY galore. As someone who enjoys putting things together, I also enjoy seeing her stuff too!

@sewceress - *grabs you* If you have ever thought too long about astrology, planetary magic, and stuff like that, you will enjoy this blog. That's a threat.

@aesethewitch - If you think it's neat how I can drag people for filth with a single card, you will enjoy Aese doing the same thing on their blog. This is also a threat.

@the-weaving-cryptid - If you enjoy region-specific magic and are interested in Appalachia, give Runa a look!

@strixhaven-study-hall - My dear friend Faust who is on that MTG pop culture shit with me. I need to bother him more, actually. And so should all of you.

@fernthewhimsical - Like with the note on Runa, Fern is big into regional stuff - specifically, Dutch paganism. Fae has all kind of cool posts and shit, I've greatly enjoyed chatting with them.

@creature-wizard - Do you like when I drop twenty-seven source links in one posts? Would you like better critical thinking skills about the bullshit that appears in online religious and occult and witchy spaces? Check out this blog. Particularly their stuff on the New Age to Alt-Right pipeline.

@crimsonsongbird - A fellow follower of Greek deities with some of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching devotionals I've ever read. She's also designed spells based on my OCs in the past!!! They're very neat (both Crimson and the spells).

@will-o-the-witch - Another wonderful reader and a Jewitch. Incredibly easy to chat with through the ask box!

@stagkingswife - Another fun blog to follow if you're interested in folklore or seeing someone who's really comfortable in her path! I enjoy learning about their unrecorded pantheon (which is different from a constructed pantheon, I must stress).

@breelandwalker - The author of what is hands-down my favorite book on witchcraft ever, Grovedaughter Witchery. If you enjoy actual history, debunking misinformation, and beginner-friendly posts (they have a whole advice page for beginners!), then Bree is a good blog to follow.

I think I'm running out of the ability to tag blogs, so I'll pause here. But I follow or am mutuals with all kinds of really cool folks here on Tumblr!

When did you get into The Elder Scrolls? What about Magic the Gathering?

I started playing Oblivion on my biological father's PS3 before Skyrim came out when I was a youngin (I'm gonna say around the age of 9?) and just kind of. Kept with it.

Meanwhile, I finally got into MTG in 2016, when the Shadows Over Innistrad and Eldritch Moon sets came out. My first ever deck was the Blue-Red precon, Dangerous Knowledge. And I hated it. This was before I figured out how to make Blue work for me. The first deck I ever built was a Red-Green Wolf and Werewolf deck, and I still have it to this day - it's my most powerful deck besides maybe my monoBlack Rat deck.

How often do you typically practice magic?

It depends. When I'm in my fallow period, it's literally nothing. Once I'm out, it could be anywhere between "for my entire waking day" to "like, five minutes" to "I have not done anything magical in two weeks". I am inconsistent as fuuuuuck!

Optional additional question because it is a bit loaded and not everyone wants to answer something like this: What's your most hated discourse in the pagan/witchy community? It can be valid or kinda just ridiculous, your choice.

I am biased on account of being a pop culture practitioner, but the "is pop culture magic/paganism valid or not" question that keeps rolling back around every now and again is stupid. We're all magical practitioners and/or religious folks. We are at equal levels of verification, which is "basically none to someone skeptical enough".

There are actual, genuinely good concerns that can be talked about in pop culture magic/paganism, but everyone keeps focusing on "it's faker than our shit lmaooo" instead of discussing things like copyright or capitalism. And even when people bring that up, it's almost always as an addendum to people saying that our shit isn't valid because it comes from a piece of media instead of cultural stories or history. It's like "damn, you're already biased, so I'm not going to listen to your points because you stink", you know?

Anyway, thank you for sending all of these in!

~Jasper

[bloodgulchblog]

Alright fuck it, s2e1 liveblog.

I'm watching this with people later so the goal is just to get through it enough to sate my impatience, so I'm back to ye olde standby of watching it at high speed with subtitles on. (...Only I guess I'm gonna be slowed down by making comments, huh?)

Spoilers and uncharitable opinions and unfunny jokes will follow.

Not going to talk about stuff in the episode opener until it comes back bc there's not enough to say anything about.

5 minutes in and we're already doing whatever this is huh?

6:30 - Alright okay, fuck, Vannak took his spine pellet out and gets to have one (1) personality trait and it's animal facts and I kind of don't hate that. TV Chief is very unlikable but characters like Kai and Vannak playing the angle of having very youthful quirks bc having emotions is new is cute.

~10:00 - I have nothing to say yet about spooky shapes in the fog but I think this shot of Chief back to back with a marine is fun. Also I wonder if Corporal Perez (this character) will still matter 5 minutes from now.

Also looks like the foggy sword fight from the trailer is here, too difficult to get any kind of cap that doesn't suck out loud. I'm thinking about how I heard someone making a big deal about how Season 2 feels "less like a video game" (whatever that means), meanwhile "fog full of stealth sword guys trying to kill you" feels very very video game level.

~13:00 - Man, and I really thought that sword fighting stuff in the trailer was a solid indicator they were dragging Thel 'Vadamee into this mess. Hey guys look, Arbiter's in this season. 4,000 of him!

Additionally, if a bunch of people decide this is a ship the fandom owes me twenty dollars.

~15:00 - Congrats to Perez for surviving five minutes. Also, we're still doing whatever this is:

16 minutes in we finally get the show's opener. (It has the Halo in it now, I don't think it was there before but let's be perfectly honest it's not like I cared a lot.)

~17:30 or something, reminded once again that a lot of people are attracted to this actor

Also guess what, Keyes is an Admiral now I guess????

Do we think he still gets to get eaten by the Flood eventually? Do we think the Flood will even be in here? Place ur bets at the counter.

Anyway, they're basically diving into a big timeskip here where a bunch of planets have been glassed since last season (including Madrigal). This whole AU is weird to the bone in terms of how its timeline is shaking out.

Anyway anyway, aww here we go

"I'm not here to replace Dr Halsey, I'm here because I believe in you!"

Ohhhhh he knows all the Spartans' names already, ohhhhh they want the audience to like this mf so bad, they want it to be such a tweest that he sucks shit-

Moving right along, at 22:30 we have the Rubble having a crowd decide whether various refugees should be spaced or taken into indentured servitude, because of course we do.

tl;dw the nebbish redhead knows where Catherine Halsey is and there's a big bounty out for her and he's trying to use it as a bargaining chip to not die and everyone thinks that's very funny, also Soren is here. I guarantee he decides to go after her, but first we have to have a scene cut back to whatever TV Chief is doing.

Man I'm really noticing they haven't shown the weird ridged rubber tech suit yet this episode, I wonder if they decided to replace it.

Anyway here's Perez, I still think they want people to start shipping:

Then Jimmy Rings has a meeting with tv show's new guy they want you to like so bad.

Also he says "The O-N-I" like a complete tool. (This is how you know he sucks.)

And while I'm talking trash about him: Ackerson stop flirting, didn't they tell you nobody's allowed to be gay in Halo? Get your shit together.

Thus ends the dream of the funniest possible universe where we just had Cortana: The Show forever. Someone get the penny whistle. My heart will not go on. 😢

Fuck, I was doing timestamps, right? I'm like half an hour in.

THEY STILL WANT YOU TO THINK ACKERSON CARES, BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU DID NOT NOTICE

They're laying this on so thick so fast there's no way he's not a shitweasel in this AU, but also that would be the funniest possible thing to me.

(If anyone ships this, the fandom owes me forty dollars and therapy.)

ANYWAY... Action figure time. (Remember to boycott Jazwares!)

Soren's kid is playing with a MASTER CHIEF ACTION FIGURE and being weird, meanwhile Soren's wife is calling him out on shit and reminding him that refugees being turned away is, you know, bad.

Congrats to Soren's wife for continuing to be the most unexpectedly sympathetic supporting character I guess, but they made Soren so unlikable off the 1st season it's hard for me to feel investment of any kind here.

35 minutes in: the Spartans are watching a space TV broadcast. They have Ca-ADMIRAL. Admiral. Admiral Keyes presenting the Colonial Cross to Corporal Perez for blah blah blah you saw the start of the episode. The shape of the ceremony and the hovering tv drone thing are obvious H2 references.

(Does this mean Perez is our Sergeant Johnson now? Vote with your phones.)

Get your face out of here, Ackerson, I know what you are.

Oh god there's another team of Spartans (Cobalt) and having adult Spartan-IIs call each other names like children is fucking weird.

Aaaaand tumblr is capping the number of images I can post here and I'm still only about half way done. Fuck. I am not doing this this way for Episode 2 I can promise you that.

(Also hey look the tech suit is back, I guess Silver Team doesn't use it so much anymore to show you they're more human now or whatever?)

[birindale]

International Women's Day promo, with transcript & further clips below the cut

ND Stevenson: When I was a little girl, I always loved scifi and fantasy. I looked so hard for the female characters in those stories, and so often they're very hard to find at all. Taking She-Ra and the Princesses of Power into today's era was a dream project for me. It's just like a really cool show.

Child 1: I love Scorpia. She's not afraid to show her inner feelings. She wants to like, cut her hair short. She's also insanely bubbly.

Aimee Carrero, voice of She-Ra/Adora: I didn't grow up with cartoons about… a girl, doing things in the world. It was about a guy and the girls who loved him.

Child 2: Watching She-Ra, it was really powerful to see that women were actually the heroes.

Lauren Ash, voice of Scorpia: So it's important to remind and--and show kids that no matter what you look like--yeah! There's a place for every one of you.

Child 3: It's so cool to have so many different-looking princesses.

Child 4: I like how it's just not boys being hav--being super-strong.

One of the children in an exaggerated voice: Onward! [the children heft toy Swords of Protection and start chasing each other and giggling]

Merit Leighton, voice of Frosta: The cast should be as diverse as real life. And as the world is.

Child 5: I feel like, because I'm not like, a stick--like all the cartoons in most shows. She-Ra inspires me to be, like more confident in myself?

Child 6: When I watch it just makes me, like… I wanna be brave too!

Vella Lovell, voice of Mermista: To see yourself on screen is to have someone say to you, "Your dreams are possible."

Krystal Joy Brown, voice of Netossa: It's time for us to be able to be at the helm of our own stories, and to also not be shy of our power.

Marcus Scribner, voice of Bow: It's super important for girls to see characters like Bow, to let them know that males are out there supporting them.

Child 4, in reaction to something offscreen: Holy mackerel!

Lauren Ash: 'Cause things are changing guys, I don't know if you know that, but it's a really exciting time.

Princess of Power. Everything is power. Princess of Power! It's just like, good to listen to, actually.

Karen Fukuhara, voice of Glimmer: I hope that our show inspires kids to be… anything that they wanna be.

ND Stevenson: This world is a place where all of them can be empowered to fight their own battles, and fight the good fight. And that's what this show is all about.

All 8 Children: For the honor of Grayskull!

--------------------------

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by DreamWorks She-Ra (@dreamworksshera)

Aimee Carrero clip: It was one of the first times that I could look across the room and see, like, women, not just in creative places of power but in executive places of power. And I think that that's a balance that has been sorely lacking in our industry

--------------------------

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ˚✧₊* Merit Leighton ⁎⁺˳✧ (@meritleighton)

Merit Leighton clip: I mean, the show is so diverse, so it's great that they're… that they have cast people that are like their roles, in their roles. And I feel like that's how it should be everywhere.

--------------------

Dreamworks also had a page up here with a brief article with the following pdfs:

She-Ra IWD Video Discussion Guide - stimulate important discussion amongst children

My Hero Book - find your inner balanced hero

Labyrinth Game - call upon the strengths and skills of others 

Heroic Support Pyramid Game - strive for greater balance in our world

and some canned stuff on diversity which you can click through to read, idt it needs to be on here. I should note that Balance for Better was the "theme" of International Women's Day that year.

oh! and some shareable pngs of select characters to show people you like women, or balance, or whatever. like, really select characters. only 8 of them. honestly kind of a tragedy bc the comedic potential of Light Hope with a big #BALANCE FOR BETTER cannot be overstated. balance must be restored indeed. here are some links to those:

She-Ra

Perfuma

Mermista

Bow

Glimmer

Spinnerella

Netossa

Frosta

[fostersffff]

Visions of Mana Demo Impressions

The Good:

I LOVE the big, elaborate, gacha-esque animations that play the first time you do a class change with a character. Excellent stuff, they were clearly tapped into what people (i.e. me) loved about the original the original Trials of Mana and the remake: class changing is cool.

I also love that all the characters get at least three kinds of weapons! I assumed it would just be main character Val who got to choose between Sword, Greatsword, and Lance, but Careena and Morley get Spear, Fans, and Fists, and Katana, Daggers, and Staff! (although they don't have any classes that can use Fists or Staff in the demo, but they're there in the shop)

Actually, I guess this is where I should get into how the classes affect combat, which I am relieved to say is "noticeably". The demo gives you three party members and two "elemental vessels", Sylphid (Wind) and Luna (Moon). All the characters have a base class, but you can class change them by equipping a vessel to them. Val, for example, starts out as a Guard, becomes a Rune Knight when equipping Sylphid, and an Aegis when equipping Luna. Each class uses a particular weapon, so using Val as an example again, Guard uses Sword, Rune Knight uses Greatsword, and Aegis uses Lance. Based on Careena and Morley (whose two classes use the same weapon), the attack strings are the same for each weapon, but certain attack commands can only be learned by investing in a particular class's skill tree.

The classes are further differentiated by having a vessel power, which is a cooldown that works the same between all the characters: Sylphid throws out a boomerang that pops enemies up into the air, and Luna creates a time bubble that slows down enemies and increases party attack and casting speed. Because the vessel powers are tied to classes, they seem to be designed in such a way that they pretty synergystic with the kit of the class (at least based on the demo). Takes some time to charge your shield as an Aegis? Create a time bubble!

I don't know exactly how much variety they'll be able to muster across all eight elemental vessels and five playable characters, but at least based on this demo it feels like Visions of Mana is situated in the same zip code as Granblue Fantasy Relink when it comes to variety, which is I was I was hoping for in my heart of hearts.

Tremendously endearing the have Morley wield a third dagger with his tail. Superb.

You also have a shortcut menu for items and spells, but you also have the Ring Menu, and the Ring Menu is still the perfect ARPG solution for items and spells, as it has been since 1993.

RETURN OF THE MOOGLE STATUS EFFECT WE'RE SO BACK

I'm about to talk about the dub, but before I do: giving the Japanese Dragon Priestess a Southern U.S. accent is a really endearing choice.

The Bad:

I think they dub these games wrong as a joke. Like, Trials of Mana also has a notoriously poor dub, and this isn't really doing that much better despite it being four years later and everyone knowing how bad that game's dub is. Again, it just sounds like no one is 100% sure of their character voice and are sight reading their lines for the first time. Because there's also a lot more incidental dialogue, and because the script isn't based on a pressed-for-space SNES game, I worry the quality of the dub is going to stick out even more.

These cutscenes have a lot of, uh… weird wiggling? I’m not sure how else to describe that thing where it feels like characters are doing large body gestures that maybe make sense in Japanese but not so much in English? Seriously, watch the video: there's 5 seconds where Careena is just wildly gesticulating, saying nothing, while the guards walk up to seize her.

Hoping they can tune up movement a bit between this and the final release. Even in performance mode, the game felt a bit crusty here and there, but there's only one aspect of it that I would argue is fundamentally designed wrong, which is cancelling dash momentum into a jump. It was bad in Smash Bros. Brawl, and it's bad here, but at least it's somewhat mitigated by Infinite Airdashing.

I'm hoping there's a relatively even distribution of "open world" type areas and thoughtfully designed "action stages". The open world area in the demo is neat and I love the pikul, but enemies felt pretty conservatively sprinkled around. I like fighting dudes in ARPGs!

The story felt a little too Saturday Morning Cartoon-y, considering the emotion I most associate with the Mana series is melancholy, but then you get on the boat and the one guy is like “hey you know there are legends that we didn't used to have to send eight sacrifices out to die every year” and your party is like “whaaat, that’s crazy, we have to go die!”, so there might actually be some juice here.

To be honest, a lot of what I have to say about this demo is pretty close to what I had to say about the demo for Trials of Mana years ago. Which is interesting, because as far as I can tell, an entirely different team than the one responsible for that game is making this one (NetEase subsidiary Ouka Studios, rather than Xeen Inc.).

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 10 DAVOS I (pages 132-148)

Davos watches gods burn on the beach, then has an ale and gets a lore drop from Salladhor Saan before Stannis calls Davos to show off his attempt at a (100% true) smear campaign.

-

"Lord of Light, we offer you these false gods, these seven who are one, and him the enemy. Take them and cast your light upon us, for the night is dark and full of terrors." ... "For the night is dark and full of terrors,"Selyse and her queen's men replied. Should I speak the words as well? Davos wondered. Do I owe Stannis that much? Is this fiery god truly his own?

TNiDaFoT = 🥛🥛

... There's a heat wave here okay? I need all the hydration I can get. Water is just so quenchy. The quenchiest.

The burning gods cast a pretty light, wreathed in their robes of shifting flames, red and orange and yellow. Septon Barre had once told Davos how they'd been carved from the masts of the ships that had carried the first Targaryens from Valyria. Over the centuries they'd been painted and repainted, gilded, silvered, jeweled.

Why does this feel like some kind of ominous hint towards Dany and the followers of R'hllor? (And not in a "you like fire, I like fire, did we just become best friends?" kind of way. Even though there's the theory she's Azor Ahai, "beloved of R'hllor")

The Maiden lay athwart the Warrior, her arms widespread as if to embrace him. The Mother seemed almost to shudder as the flames came licking up her face. A longsword had been thrust through her heart, and its leather grip was alive with flame. The Father was on the bottom, the first to fall. Davos watched the hand of the Stranger writhe and curl as the fingers blackened and fell away one by one, reduced to so much glowing charcoal.

*Knowing Ned died first, Catelyn's fate, and that Jon's hand was burned pretty badly, combined with remembering once seeing a video essay on the Stark fam representing the Seven in some capacity:* I'm sure it's fiiiine. Not at all foreshadowing. *laughs nervously*

"Under the sea, smoke rises in bubbles, and flames burn green and blue and black," Patchface sang somewhere.

Still kinda sounds like an underwater volcanic region...

"As to that father," Dale said, "I mislike these water casks they've given me for Wraith. Green pine. The water will spoil on a voyage of any length." "I got the same for Lady Marya," said Allard. "The queen's men have laid claim to all the seasoned wood."

You'd think folks living on an island, would take better care of their sailors, but no. Classist snobs everywhere.

"Pirate," said Davos. "You have no wives, only concubines, and you have been well paid for every day and every ship." "Only in promises," said Salladhor Saan mournfully. "Good ser, it is gold I crave, not words on papers." He popped a grape into his mouth. "You'll have your gold when we take the treasury in King's Landing. No man in the Seven Kingdom's is more honorable than Stannis Baratheon. He will keep his word."

... so who wants to tell them about the 6 million gold debt the Crown (Littlefinger and Bobby B) accrued?

Also: it's not quite how i pronounce the name, but as I was reading, I just called Salladhor Saan 'Salad Whore' by accident.

... all this talk of Azor Ahai has given me the crackspiracies. At first I was like Burning blade + sword of light > Obi-wan Kenobi's lightsaber > Obi is Azor Ah... waaaait. AA killed his wife for power OH MY GOSH > Anakin Skywalker is Azor Ahai Confirmed!

🔍I've solved it, everyone else go home. (Joking)

When he thought of Nissa Nissa, it was his own Marya he pictured, a good-natured plump woman with sagging breasts and a kindly smile, the best woman in the world. He tried to picture himself driving a sword through her, and shuddered. I am not made of the stuff of heroes, he decided. If that was the price of a magic sword, it was more than he cared to pay.

Davos is just, such a good bloke. Good Husband, good father, good friend. At this point, I think he's got the best chance for Westeros' Best Father Ever award.

"- It seemed to me as I watched the fire this morning that I was looking at a dozen beautiful dancers, maidens garbed in yellow silk spinning and swirling before a great king. -"

*thinking of the tv show* Gasp! The Sandsnakes? That'd be a fun twist, it was a real vision, but an assassination and not a homage, or just not Stannis.

"When I was a lad I found an injured goshawk an nursed her back to health. Proudwing, I named her. (...) Time and again I would take her hawking, but she never flew higher than the treetops. -"

Awww, Proudwing has separation anxiety and a trauma induced fear of heights. Look at Stannis having a humanising moment... and then ruining it with his plotting.

[gray-soul]

What you should know about me

Hi I'm gray-soul, but you can call me: GrayS0, GrayS, Gray or if you know me from ao3, Szara Dusza, Szara.

Some people, like to call me Gummies, Gumiś, you can call me that too.

I'm Polish, go by she/her, and I'm a mess, genuine mess.

I write stuff on ao3, play the piano, sometimes post on my youtube, draw and check out, a ton of fandoms. (A skele-ton)

My ao3:

My youtube:

(New since I can't seem to recover the old one)

Don't be shy! I love to chat with strangers online.

My favorite artists are: Mateusz Dąbrowski (ExCharny), Comyet, Nyoomian and my friends of course.

Here's probably an incomplete list of the fandoms I've been/am in about which you can chat with me/ might make posts about eventually:

HOLLOW KNIGHT!!!!

DEAD CELLS!!!!

HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER (I cried)

THE TRANSFORMERS!!!! (I hate the Bay movies though)

JOJO'S BIZZARE ADVENTURE!!!!

UNDERTALE!!!!

1984!!! (If it's a fandom)

THE SANDMAN!!!! (I hate the Netflix ver. I love the comics though)

HOMESTUCK!!!!?

NIGHT IN THE WOODS!!!!

Ace Attorney!!

ULTRAKILL!!!!!!! (Kinda shit at it but it's GOOD)

DELTARUNE!!!!

DON'T STARVE!!!!

STARDEW VALLEY!!!!

THE MOOMINS!!!!

The Hex!

Pony Island

Inscryption!!

Buckshot roulette

The grim adventures of Billy and Mandy

Sherlock Holmes (the book series)

Valorant for some reason (I play it, I basically bother everyone about it)

Same with Overwatch apperantly, (I know the lore, and a couple of characters edit: I just started playing it)

Borderlands (mostly Borderlands 2, a childhood game of mine, 10/10 would play again edit: got borderlands 3 and I am loving it)

TITANFALL |2!!!!!!! (a certain person got me addicted in fps games with lore)

Apex Legends!!!!

EDDSWORLD

Mystic Messenger

Bendy and the inkmachine

MOB PSYCHO 100!!!!

Malediction!!!

Welcome To Night Vale!!

Minecraft

SPIDER-MAN (Spider-verse)

Saiki-k

60 seconds

Mashle

ONE PUNCH MAN

Big hero six

.... Countryhumans? (I like Countryballs more. I hate the fandom, but I like the illogical concept. Don't come after me.)

Sam and Max!!!!

Dsmp (I left it a long time ago)

Fnaf

Dsaf!!

Wander over Younder

MONKIE KID!!!!

Pokemon

One Piece!

Black Hat!!

Cult of the lamb

Ninjago (not really caught up with it though)

DDLC

Dangaronpa (ehh not really in it now)

Fullmetal alchemist (I don't like brotherhood.)

Darkest Dungeon

FRANBOW!!!!

SALLY FACE!!!!

LITTLE MISSFORTUNE!!!!

GRAVITY FALLS!!!!

Ms Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

The Stanley Parable!!!!

The Mandalorian? (Not the Starwars though, even though I know some stuff about it)

Hanako-kun

Camp camp

Sonic (IN THE YEAR 2024. AND IM DEEPLY AFFECTED BY ALL SONIC MEDIA TYPES)

Creepypasta? (Long, long time ago)

HxH

Mystery Skull

SVTFOE basically my childhood

Soul Eater (anime)

SNK or AOT (anime)

Adventure time (currently rewatching)

Bee and Puppycat

Team fortress 2

Spyro (watched a gameplay once)

Swords and Sandals. (Idk If this game even had a fandom, but I am the fandom)

Dragon Ball? (I only watched one movie with my friend, simped for Gamma 1, and Piccolo for some reason, and kept saying that it's a jojo's refrence)

Mha. (Yeah, no. Do not talk to me about that one, I hate even remembering it.)

Had an animation meme phase

A lot of old rpg horror games made in game maker like IB

Also by: I'm in the fandom, I mean I have a ton of Pinterest boards for these, on which I add stuff regularly, and a ton of unposted fanfics/fanarts in my sketchbooks.

Note: I block everything that seems like a spam bot. Please, if you're a new user just reblog something or add some stuff on your blog.

[portraitsofguilt]

I hope I made it in time!!!

I am 18 :)

The fandom I want to be matched with is Overwatch!

I would prefer to be matched with a male character!

I am a female and I am 5'3". I love reading and writing, big hobbies of mine. I also love going on walks. INFP and Cancer. I love fashion and dressing up and am currently in a goth phase of mine lmfaooo. But when I don't feel like it I would call my style vadalism/early 2000s ish. Big pants, heelys, all that fun stuff lmao. I have red hair and blue eyes and am thicc in the best way (who doesnt love a little pudge to grab in all the right areas??). I have two piercings on my ears and always wear cool earrings. I wear glasses as well.

I love just hangin out and watching anime or playing video games and I also really love organizing and just cleaning sometimes when the mood calls for it!

I would say I'm pretty funny and fun to be around and love talking, so I would like someone who doesnt mind listening to me ramble sometimes lol. I also love listening to people, so just someone to talk to :)

I hope this works! Thank you so much moss, you're the best! Have a great day and stay awesome <333

your match-up and star messenger is . . .

GENJI SHIMADA (isfp) !

you are the "super affectionate and bashful" couple

the youngest of the shimada brothers is a man who isn't afraid to go all out and put on some clothes that people don't deem traditional for him to wear. he will let you use him as your dress-up doll and will gladly wear anything matching, as ridiculous as it might be, he will wear it.

genji might seem uptight if it even is the right for it but with you, by his side, you help him be more idealistic, give in to the temptation of cuddles, and come back with his own flirtatious comments. but it is so rare, the man is so bashful he needs a doctor. he loves that you are not afraid to dress up and your body, he could go on and on about your body. not in a weird creepy way, but in a loving, caring way that twists your stomach because it's so cute as he blushes.

genji is a great listener, he might not understand everything you are talking about but he will try and be as supportive as he can with every word you utter to him! your constant talking, writing, and reading push him to grab a book himself or try to write one of his favorite memory as a bedtime story- the thing is that you encourage him to be creative.

he learned his whole life that his home should be organized, tidy, and the neatest place in the world so when you have the urge to clean, he is right by your side to help you with whatever job you fit for him. he isn't afraid of video games, he just has a hard time understand the mechanics but once you help him with it, he might as well get better than you.

some aspects of your relationship would be:

fighting over who is choosing the movie or anime to watch on your regular friday movie nights

getting on hanzo's nerves alongside kiriko is always fun

walking dates! it might sound strange but it's a real thing and real fun especially when genji knows all the hot spots with beautiful sights and a great all-around environment

him teaching you how to throw shurikens and even engage in a sword/katana fight!

MEETING EACH OTHER !

version 1

it was the last plushie of your favorite anime character on the shelf and you promised yourself that no matter how much it costs, you gonna spend that money because hell- they look cute! so you reached for them, mesmerized that it was real and that you were finally getting them before a green-haired girl came and started yelling your hair off, demanding you give her the plushie because it was a life or death situation. she kept waving her hands, trying to grab it out of your arms and in the process hitting your drink out of your other hand. you were just about to start complaining when a tall man appeared, pulling the girl aside before taking the scene around him in then turning to you with a kind smile on his face.

"my apologies for her rude speech, may i interest you in another cup of your drink on me?"

version 2

the fastest way around the base was never the elevators, it was these cool shoes you got yourself alongside d.va. they had a wheel in the heel and if you launched yourself right you could roll on it from one end to another. it came in handy especially when you had to deliver papers and you were just minutes before the deadline. today was like that too, being late because your laziness got the best of you so you took off, the place around you looked safe to scoot around in until one of the robot-looking things started to move and you ended up tripping over them.

"you should be more careful around the base in these... shoes. let me take you to angela, please."

YOUR SONG IS . . .

tell me by wonder girls !

[sanchoyo]

been quietly following your tm2 for nearly two years and i know nothing about the original material but emotionally i want to watch you make videos with your characters like early youtube lps videos with the plastic clackclackclack walking sound. does that make sense

also saguaro is technically my favorite. i love them. i hope they’re doing okay mwah kiss on their weird head

oh my god....youve been following my ocs that long??? WITHOUT ALREADY BEING INTO TMM???? I am in AWE and actually going to cry tytyty 😭 it totally makes sense and. id absolutely do that w my ocs. if they were big headed lps toys. mentally im always doing that. or imagining amvs with them (my fav lps was the iguana btw. used to love those guys) i am so so so happy. if u guys ever want details or have qs. i am always VERY excited 2 talk abt them!! :D

(btw i always recommend tmm. if u like my ocs they are next gen for it jakshd it would probably fill in some context (I...dont know how comprehensible my lil bits of character stuff and story ive shared is w/out that knowledge?? I did a little summary of tmm on the directory anyway, and i pull from several sources, like the mangas, video games, og 2002 anime, etc...) but..... u would LOVE it. I have an entire post abt why u should watch it. or read the manga. OR. OR. that post is old so it fails to mention theres a new anime, 'tokyo mew mew new' thats basically a retelling of the story w elements of the manga AND original anime that started airing last year and its on season 2 rn like its still airing on tuesdays!!! its considerably shorter than the 52 eps the original anime was. would recommend any of those. tmms so good. sorry for the ramble but I MUST take any chance I get to drag someone else into furry magical girl anime its my fav anime ever :") )

...SAGUARO IS UR FAV???? i've barely shared any of the Good stuff on them omg i cant believe someone not only 1. has a fav of my ocs 2. but its one i dont even talk or post a lot abt yet. WILD!!! theyre doing great theyre probably in a snuggie sipping tea. or pondering their sword collection (picking a sword of the day is TOUGH) maybe cara is helping them pick one bc shes kind of a sword lesbian and they would trust her sword opinions.

u 100% made my day btw I am going to pace around the house about this. hope u have a great day 🥺

[countess-strahd]

I changed a lot from canon and ended up making it really hard on myself. I recommend looking at MandyMod's guides on reddit, and watching Lunch Break Hero's videos on youtube. (I think the vids are also all available as articles, which is my preferred version, but some might only be in one format.) Keep in mind that you don't have to go with their changes, but you should see what they think, as they're both good at developping the setting further and have some valuable input.

If you're struggling with anything, the subreddit does have some valuable input, so search for the location or character and see what other DMs think. That usually helps me resolve things before they become a problem, like the Yesterhill fight.

Don't get sucked into the trap of making Strahd too difficult. He's incredibly powerful within Ravenloft, but a lot of that power comes from his minions. Your party shouldn't be able to beat Strahd til the very end, not because he's CR 27 or whateber the highest CR statsheet is these days, but because they've taken out the brides, Rahadin, and others of Strahd's allies.

One thing I screwed up on what making the Dark Powers too present in the plot. It's confusing for my players, and they throw a lot of stuff out of whack. Stick to having the vestiges in their amber sarcophagi be trapped in the Amber Temple. If you want to tempt or corrupt your PCs, with your players' consent ofc, my players REALLY like the creepy dreams where shadowy figures come talk to them. Could be a fun route if they have to piece together what's happening from rumors and such. (Where I got stuck is that one PC is a warlock of a powerful vestige/dark power from the temple, so I thought having other warlocks around like Kasimir and Rahadin would be cool. It is not. I fucked up so bad. The lore is so complicated.)

Another mistake I made was making the elves and vistani wayyy too closely tied together. Try and keep them distinct from each other as oppressed minorities within Barovia, and let the Barovian villages feel distinct culturally, as well. No two groups are the same. A way to do this is accents, but also description. Vallaki looks totally different from Barovia, Krezk, the elf village and the Vistani camp, etc. Also, they can be kinda emoty. Barovia has a terrifying population decline, and Vallaki and Krezk are no better. The elves are dying slowly but surely. The Vistani, meanwhile, have no lack of children and young folk. This should help them all feel separate. (Related note: I named the elf/vistani camp outside Vallaki "Avenir" for simplicity. Having Ez be from there, and be the only young person or maybe the only woman besides Arabelle the little girl, might add to the off vibes that PCs should sense here.)

Also: make Strahd the most manipulative, frighteningly in control, possessive, seductive, puppetmaster-y piece of shit you can conceive of. Strahd's spies are everywhere, and the PCs should pick up on that quickly for maximum horror vibes. Have these spies lie, manipulate, and subtly threaten. They should be nervous around animals, strangers, NPCs who are too helpful or know more than expected, and each other.

On the other hand, having Ireena work as a DMPC has been a godsend. DON'T rob players of choice, but being able to say "I don't think we should go there... at least not without a plan." is so damn useful in a campaign designed to kill your PCs if they screw up! She knows the valley despite never seeing much of it, can talk shop with burgomasters and others because of her upbringing, and is a sword-wielding badass. Ireena is willing to die for Barovia, or become undead, if it would save others. This makes her a fantastic NPC ally.

Allies: pick ahead of time. Rig the whole tarokka reading, honestly. Don't give your players a terrible ally like I did. Van Richten, Ez, and Ismark are very good choices. You could even say it's "the vampire hunter" and lead them to think it's RvR or Ez, only to have it turn out to be the other one. If you want, you can skip the reading entirely and just give them plot suggestions from Eva. As in, you might be able to find allies in Vallaki, Argynvostholt survivors, or the Winery. Something like that gives them direction but allows you to mix it up behind the scenes, where necessary. (Might be biased bc my reading fucked up my game, but that was my own damn fault lol)

It's a fun campaign. Don't worry too much about details and you'll be just fine. Good luck :-)

hi dnd tumblr 😎 i'm beginning to plan my curse of strahd campaign for my group, and here i am wondering. pondering. considering, even.

dms, is there something in strahd you would have changed/removed/did end up changing?

tips? tricks?

i myself have never played (which is so sad) but i'm determined to run it

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

i know this is long! so if you want to skip around (it’s marked) feel free too!! i just want to hear some of your thoughts on this video https://youtu.be/HGPM7306Ezw

Yep that was long! I didn't watch the video but I read the transcript 😜

I don't like a lot of the things he says (will get to that in a moment) but I do agree that Phase Four seems to be trying to do the same as the comics: bring a lot of new characters to the screen & the old ones are retconned and their personality and actions depend entirely on the director/writer who works on them...

That's probably the reason why the multiverse feels a little too much. Variants can be an interesting tool but everything is the same, the other universes vary on the most frivolous things ("red means go!") and the variants are one-dimensional, defined by one action and the OG characters don't ever truly learn anything from them.

The writers should take previous stories and characterizations into account because the MCU is a connected universe, or at the very least that's how it was sold to us. However that consistency is nowhere to be seen nowadays.

Also the last thing I agree with him on is regarding the Blip. It feels more as a stepping stone than a cataclysmic event that should affect every single character in these movies and series. It baffles me that they actively refuse to address it, they might say something in passing, but the characters we know from previous movies they're the same pre and post-Blip. That makes no sense.

Now, he has really, reeeeeeeeally bad takes on certain things and I'll talk about that after the cut because I can already feel it's gonna get long! Up ahead: Black Widow, WandaVision, TFATWS and Loki.

Black Widow

If I were to address every stupid thing he says about Black Widow I'd be here all day. Let me sum it up: this guy doesn't know the difference between "I didn't like it" vs "It was wrong".

The names he calls Yelena are... well, no need to repeat them here. I re-watched the prison scene again, she's not thinking of causing an avalanche, she's being shot at from that tower so she fires her weapon to kill that guy, she looks surprised when she realizes what that explosion had caused. Also, from what it's shown in the movie all the inmates and the guards made it safely back inside the prison so I don't know where he gets the idea that Yelena is a "psychopath".

WandaVision

OP complains that we never got to find out how Hayward got ahold of Vision's body. Hayward mentions the Accords several times throughout the series, like ep8 when he's trying to provoke Wanda by showing her what Sword is doing to Vision's body. Their exchange is:

Hayward: "We're dismantling the most sophisticated sentient weapon ever made" Wanda: "Vision is not a weapon, you can't do this" Hayward: "In fact, it is our legal and ethical obligation"

That's how they got him.

Then OP goes on to say stuff like "Wanda just wanted to play house with her dead boyfriend" or he mentions "her fake ass family, her dead ass husband, those two little shits that aren't even real". So... yeah, it doesn't surprise me he didn't understand the series.

As for the claims that Wanda is excused, forgiven, treated as a hero bla bla I'll just link to this.

TFATWS

Oh man, where do I start with this one?! OP is wrong on so many levels.

He claims Sam should have "related" to Walker instead of fighting him. Uh, that's what he and Buck did:

Bucky: "He didn't kill Lemar. Don't go down that road, believe me, it doesn't end well" Walker: "I'm not like you" Sam: "Listen, it was the heat of the battle, okay? If you explain what happened they might consider your record. We don't want anyone else to get hurt. You made a mistake"

And then Walker attacks. They were trying to empathize with him, he's the one who refused to listen. But sure, blame Sam, why not 🙄

In fact, OP's claims to defend Walker are mind-blowing to me. He says Lemar died "on Sam and Bucky's watch", that they should have been cooperative with Walker from the start, he calls Bucky a "petty child" who is mad because someone "replaced his best friend" and that they were laughing when the Doras were trying to "kill him". The fuck?

Now, the shit he says about the Doras... big yikes. He says Walker was just trying to "cooperate" with them but the Doras were hyper-aggressive and tried to kill him "just for unwelcome touching". Oh and this line "it's funny when the African warrior women are needlessly aggressive". Yikes.

But OP of course goes on a rant to defend Walker's murder of Nico. "Cut him some slack" he says. Um, how about no. But the best line? "Besides, Steve killed way more people than Walker did" 😂😂 Sure thing, sweetheart, it's the same thing.

Everything that happens is Sam and Bucky's fault, Walker has no responsibility whatsoever for anything and if he makes a mistake is due to "bad writing", not because he's bad. I swear the Walker stans are unbelievable.

An easier picture is painted about OP when you keep watching and he starts talking about the Flagshmashers and the GRC.

He says the GRC were just trying to "accommodate" half the population and this thing about opening borders willy-nilly and people moving to other nations and crossing borders isn't all so good, that would cause bad, bad trouble! Damn, why do I get the feeling I've heard this anti-immigration bullshit before...

But he doesn't end there, he says Karli and the Flagsmashers were defending the same thing as Thanos. Because... of course they were! For some reason... wait what was it... oh yeah, they want immigrants and poor people to be treated as everyone else and be given safe housing and food and healthcare. Yep, it's the same as what Thanos wanted. Thanos was a socialist and a commie, you heard it here first, folks!

Was I surprised that after this OP claims the CW movie directly dealt with the collateral damage caused by the "recklessness of superheroes"? No, I wasn't 😂😂 Oh Stark stans loving Walker, a tale as old as time.

Loki

This one is short. He claims Loki had always wanted to rule -- eek! wrong. He claims it would make sense for Loki to take over the TVA because he just wants power -- eek! wrong again. Then he says they turned Loki into a good guy and that's wrong since in the past he wanted to blow up a whole planet, "why would he care?". Yeah, OP is not good with nuance, that much is clear.

"Loki is a dude who tried his bit at being an intergalactic conqueror". Sure thing, sweetie.

Well, that was long. I can't say I liked watching (I didn't watch it, I read it) this video, OP is pretty bad and has awful takes. I'm looking forward to never hearing from them again 😅🤷‍♀️

[rapifessor]

About that Version 3.1 Special Program.

Alllright. Now that I’ve had the time to watch the latest Special Program for Genshin Impact, I figure it’s a good time to collect my thoughts and put them into the form of a good old Tumblr post. I’ll cover what I felt were the highlights of the presentation, so if you can’t be bothered to sit through an hour of a couple of Chinese guys talking about stuff that’s happening in a video game, this should be an easier way to get the relevant information.

New Characters

Of course we already knew that we were getting Candace, Cyno, and Nilou this update, but now we have a clearer picture of who they are and what they’re like in combat.

Candace is, as we’ve seen before, a Hydro Polearm character and she’s a 4-Star which makes her more accessible to most players. Her shield plays an important role in combat as she holds it out when using her Elemental Skill. Doing this absorbs damage and charges up an attack, which is similar to Beidou’s Elemental Skill, but with some key differences. First, the damage dealt by the attack isn’t contingent on the amount of damage absorbed; it always does the same amount of damage no matter what. Second, with one of her Passive Talents, the ability will immediately reach full charge if the shield is hit with any attack. These qualities make it considerably easier to use than Beidou’s counter, which requires fairly precise timing and focus to get the most out of, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Candace’s ability has a lower damage ceiling as a result.

Her Elemental Burst is pretty unusual for a 4-Star character and also pretty cool: she grants a buff to the party which releases damaging waves of Hydro and also grants a Hydro Infusion to melee characters, including herself. I bet you could create some very interesting teams with this, Hydro Keqing anyone? Since Candace is also meant to deal damage she might also be a competent DPS herself, at least for a 4-Star character. I really hope that’s the case, since it feels like we get a lot of mid 4-Stars these days. Anyway, Candace looks really good and I look forward to playing her.

Then there’s Cyno, and HoYoverse really isn’t discouraging a comparison to Razor with him. I already got vaguely Razorish vibes from his character design before, but add to that the fact that he’s an Electro character and that his Elemental Burst has similar properties to Razor’s, and you get a pretty strong sense of deja vu. What that burst does is it infuses his normals with Electro, makes him immune to Electro-Charged, increases his Elemental Mastery, the damage of his Elemental Skill, and his poise (often referred to as “resistance to interruption”), AND using his Elemental Skill during its duration increases the duration of the burst. Basically it’s a massive buff to his combat abilities.

He also apparently has a passive talent that adds more properties to his Elemental Burst, described as intermittently entering the “Endseer” state which grants him even more Elemental Skill DMG and firing additional attacks at enemies. I get the feeling that you’re meant to time the use of your Elemental Skill such that you’re in this state when it’s ready to go, which is nice since it adds a little depth to Cyno’s playstyle. He seems like he’ll be a hell of a lot of fun to play. He is a 5-Star though, so not everybody will get to enjoy Cyno outside of the Test Run or his Story Quest.

Speaking of characters who are 5-Stars... yes, Nilou is also one, perhaps unsurprisingly. It turns out she is a Hydro Sword-user with a fairly interesting kit of her own. It seems to revolve around her Elemental Skill, which has two different variations. It isn’t explained very clearly in the Special Program (I suspect an unfortunate language barrier here), but it seems like you can perform certain combos ending with either a Normal Attack or another Elemental Skill. Ending with a Normal Attack seems to grant Nilou a Hydro Infusion on her Normal Attacks for a brief period, which also deals additional damage on the final hit of her three-attack normal combo. If you end with an Elemental Skill instead, your active character gets a Tranquility Aura, which makes opponents Wet and might also deal damage or heal you? Again, it isn’t explained very well.

So her Elemental Skill is a little more complex than what we’ve seen before, and it turns out her Elemental Burst is as well. It has an initial hit that causes enemies to suffer an additional bout of Hydro DMG shortly afterwards, and it has additional properties based on your party composition. Essentially, if your team is made up of Hydro and Dendro characters exclusively, using Nilou’s Elemental Skill grants the party a buff which increases Elemental Mastery and replaces the Dendro Cores produced by Bloom with more powerful Bountiful Cores. Nilou seems to have a lot of unique mechanics associated with her which means she might have a pretty high skill ceiling. How powerful she ends up being remains to be seen but she certainly sounds like quite a potent unit.

All in all, the new characters look great but I am a little bummed out that two out of the three are 5-Star characters. We are getting a top-up bonus reset once version 3.1 releases but it still means that most players won’t be able to obtain both these characters. And as someone who’s trying to stop spending quite so much money on this game, that is a little frustrating, and it upsets me a little that I might not be able to keep up with these new character releases.

Cyno will be arriving alongside Candace in the first Event Wish of the update, and Nilou will be arriving in the second half. Personally I’m probably more interested in Cyno but Nilou just looks so pretty and fun to play that I wish I could just get both of them without a second thought. Alas, I will most likely have to choose between the two of them. Depending on who’s coming in version 3.2, I may have to save for a future character as well.

We are also getting a new 5-Star Polearm and a new 5-Star Sword, as well as three new event-exclusive 4-Star weapons. Can’t say how good any of them are yet since we don’t have the details, but I’m sure they’ll be specifically good on Cyno and Nilou.

Other Stuff

Version 3.1 is focused on the desert side of Sumeru, so naturally we’ll get another huge part of the map to explore, and we’ll get to uncover the story of The Scarlet King, also known as King Deshret. Given the quality of the Sumeru quests so far, I’m excited to see how they handle these ones and what becomes of the “impending resurrection”  of the king. We’re also getting the next two acts of the Sumeru Archon Quest, which are said to take place in the desert as well.

We’re also seeing the return of ol’ Scaradouche himself, who looks like he’ll be featuring as a new weekly boss, perhaps? Evidently he’ll have a role to play in the Archon Quest, and it seems that Dotorre will be playing a big part as well, which will also be his first appearance in-game.

A couple new bosses will be introduced, one of which will be located in the desert and it’s called... let me just check my notes here... Algorithm of Semi-Intransient Matrix of Overseer Network. Which is the stupidest name for a boss I’ve ever heard. And that is why it is awesome. It’s awesomely stupid.

We’ve also got the big daddy of the Ruin Drakes, known as the Aeonblight Drake. Not as stupid as Algorithm of Semi-Intransient Matrix of Overseer Network, so not as cool. But this one I’m fairly sure is located in the Sumeru we already have available to explore in the current version, as there’s an arena space in one of the caves which was clearly meant to house a future boss.

There are clearly some other minor enemies that will be included as well, but we didn’t exactly get any details on them so I can’t really comment.

Now I want to talk about the events and future content they mentioned, the former of which I tend not to care about so much but there are a couple things worth noting here. First of all, the main event of the update is not centered around Sumeru but rather around Mondstadt, with a special focus on the story of Razor which actually has me quite curious. I’m not sure if I can say Razor is one of my favorite Genshin Impact characters, but I do quite like him. During this event you can also obtain and refine a 4-Star Polearm called Missive Windspear. Free 4-Star weapons from events have been sort of a mixed bag, with some being great and others being kinda meh, so I don’t really know what to expect from this one without knowing its stats or passive.

We’re also getting some stuff for Genshin Impact’s second anniversary, with some gifts that can be received through in-game mail including 1600 Primogems and two commemorative gadgets, one of which appears to be a cute pet bird. There’s also a daily log in event that gives 10 Intertwined Fates in total, and the top-up bonus reset (this is nice but doesn’t really count as a gift in my opinion because it still costs money and therefore is only available to enfranchised players). Altogether the anniversary gifts are worth 20 Intertwined Fates, which honestly doesn’t feel too impressive, but hey, it’s something I guess. At least HoYoverse learned from their previous mistake with the game’s first anniversary, where they gave us literally nothing (until player outrage forced them to give us the items from a concert bonus package that was originally intended to be sold for $30... fucking hell).

Oh yeah, they’re also adding Collei as a reward for completing Floor 4 Chamber 3 of the Spiral Abyss for the first time, which is cool because it means that Collei is now permanently available for free. Also nets people who got her through the current version’s main event a Constellation level.

None of that is the big news though, according to HoYoverse, as they’re also working on a new permanent addition to the gameplay of Genshin Impact which is... the implementation of Genius Invokation TCG.

...Yes, this is actually a thing. It isn’t just a meme. You can really play the card game. For real. In Genshin Impact. Well, once version 3.3 is out, anyway.

Apparently you can invite characters or NPCs to play with you and it sounds like there are rewards involved for doing so, so there’s incentive at least. You can also play against other players if that’s your jam, but to keep the game casual they wisely decided not to offer any rewards for PvP matches. It looks vaguely like Hearthstone or Magic: the Gathering’s Arena, but with Genshin Impact characters. I already have Magic: the Gathering which has more depth than this sideshow could ever achieve, so I doubt I’ll engage with it beyond what I’m offered in terms of rewards. Not to be harsh or anything, it’s just the truth.

I’m half expecting this to become a physical TCG at some point, which would be kind of hilarious if it happens. Big if though.

Edit since I forgot to include this in my initial writing: More big news: HoYoverse has partnered with ufotable to create a Genshin Impact animated series. This actually sounds fantastic, as they almost couldn’t have picked a better anime studio to partner with. ufotable produces some of the highest quality anime in existence; pretty much anything they make is worth watching, so there’s no doubt in my mind that they’ll do Genshin Impact justice. I’m very excited to see how it turns out.

Also, in one of the cinematic cutscenes they showed in the Special Program, there appears to be a new character we’ve never seen before. We don’t get a name or any good look at his appearance, but there’s this nervous kid who’s shown addressing the Knights of Favonius. Probably indicates a future playable character from Mondstadt that HoYoverse is currently being very secretive about.

Conclusion

Well, I think that wraps up just about all I have to say on the Version 3.1 Special Program. Really excited for the new characters, the desert looks sick, and I’m sure it’ll all be a lot of fun... when I eventually get there. All this new content is still pretty overwhelming to me, especially since I’ve been wanting to get away from this game enough that I can enjoy it at my own pace, rather than obsessively min-maxing it all the time. But I’m sure I’ll be able to work something out.

It sounds like there’s some big stuff in store for Genshin Impact still, and it makes me wonder if even things as massive as the next region (Fontaine?) aren’t as far away as we might think. It’d still probably make more sense for HoYoverse to release the next region at around the same time next year though, as they won’t neglect the game’s existing areas. We’ll most likely experience something of a drought when it comes to new characters and content at some point over the next year, but for the time being, it’s gonna be busy.

[we-are-knight]

Greetings

I came across your post on Shadiversity, which reminded me that I used to be really interested in historical content, so I was wondering if you have any recommendations on who to watch?

It really depends on what sort of historical content you are going for.

If you want to look at European history outside of merely a martial context, then there are actual University lectures by historians up on YouTube for free, such as through YaleCourses, but if you are looking for more entertaining informative videos, there are people like See U in History, who gives a relatively succinct overview of a variety of topics.

If you are interested in broader topics, including martial contexts, there are a wide variety of topics and channels that are well researched and respected at the moment:

Invicta cover a variety of topics, and shows their research and study in their videos, along with their animations. They mainly focus on Roman and Greecian history, but also cover medieval, and give a lot of information in an enjoyable format.

If food is your thing, Max Miller has risen to prominence over the past year, and with good reason. He gives some very good overviews, works with historians and researchers, and explains some context behind items in a very well presented format. I've even made his dillegrout recipe, and I must say, it was very well done! (And really DOES taste like a BBQ chicken soup...)

If English history appeals to you, check out English Heritage. They maintain a lot of historical sites, and put on performances, and in general know a good deal about their topics.

ModernHistoryTV is pretty decent at quite a few topics relating to the middle ages, and the guy behind it is an experienced rider, as well as a re-enactor, having worked with a few historians himself, as well as HEMA practitioners like Guy Windsor.

Scholagladiatoria, run by Matt Easton is great for getting context about a wide range of topics, Matt is really good at that sort of thing.

Skallagrim is kind of marmite to most people, being a bit more liberal in his approach to things, not always consulting other people, and is association with a certain HEMA group led by people not popular in the wider community. Personally, while I don't always agree with him, he's pretty fun to watch, generally does a good job and covering basic topics and theoretical matters, and I find him enjoyable enough. He tends to be happy to confess when he's wrong about something, which is always a good sign.

By The Sword is run by a friend of mine who knows her stuff, and is a fencing instructor I respect rather well. She discusses a variety of topics in very succinct forms, and has a TikTok you should check out.

Interested in combat techniques in history, with a little historical context to boot? Check out Roland's channel, or Bjorn!

[aprillikesthings]

jfc I still have over 15 minutes left on thE FIRST EPISODE

EDIT also I quit for the night with TEN MINUTES TO GO on the first of the two episodes because it's after midnight and I am Le Tired, I will start back up tomorrow I promise

stop touching people's FACES

"What would your mother say if she were here" omg fuck off and DIE

Glimmer agrees with me nice

look I know I just made this joke but ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT DOT GIF

😍

and then Hordak shows up

😡

Hordak: Wtf is going on Catra: well this is what it looks like when we occupy most of Etheria

i think i just have a thing for women with fangs

wait i already knew that (it's literally....an entire tag I have....just #fangs)

heh. ANYWAY

well. not Beast Island lol

Catra: ooooh your big brother's gonna be so impressed Hordak: HELL YEAH HE WILL BE

also he says "Good work, Catra"

and of course Ms. "All I Ever Wanted Was To Prove Myself" gets all puffed up

on Beast Island, Entrapta brings them all to the center where the signal is coming from??

:O

okay that looks like the stuff that infected She-Ra's sword and made her violently homicidal bUT OKAY

Adora: huh is this like...a First Ones temple (Me: is "temple" the right word to use? doesn't that imply they had a religion?) Entrapta: "ISN'T IT AMAZINGGGG"

(now kiss)

Entrapta had robots to help her with basic hygiene back in Dryl. Without them, uh, apparently she...hasn't washed her hair in a while.

Also I know it's partially just her outfit but does she have the biggest tits of anyone in this show or is it just me (which is probably yet another reason people thought I'd cosplayer her lollll)

ANYWAY Entrapta powers up the temple thing and the sound of it booting up very much includes 90's-era dial-up modem noises. Bless the sound directors of this show, honestly. The Wilhelm scream, the Shepard Tone, dial-up noises...I should look up their name and see if they have social media and fangirl at them lol.

this is a Matrix reference, right?

Anyway she's like OBVIOUSLY they were mining the planet's energy to power the Heart of Etheria

(to Adora) "But obviously you knew about the Heart of Etheria already, as you're a part of it!" Adora: wait whut Entrapta: "All the princesses are! Wait, I'll show you! The Heart draws its power from the magic of the princesses. It needs all their Runestones engaged to work. And She-Ra is the most important piece, the key! She channels the weapon's power and focuses it. She-Ra is the only being strong enough to withstand the destructive energy of The Heart."

"When The Heart is deployed, She-Ra will raise her sword and fire it!"

Adora: "She-Ra is the key.. That means I can stop it, right? If She-Ra fires the weapon, then I just won't do it. Please, Entrapta, tell me I can stop it!" Entrapta: "Once the planet is balanced, no one can stop it."

"When the weapon is activated it will channel all its power into you."

WELL THAT'S HORRIFYING, THANKS

😬

WELL, SHIT

"There's no way she could know Scorpia's the final piece, right?" oh my god Adora: SHIT WE NEED TO GET BACK TO BRIGHT MOON

Back at Bright Moon: Glimmer tries to convince Scorpia to unite with her Runestone and Scorpia is like "yeah I left the Horde but I don't wanna like, betray them"

Glimmer: if Horde Prime shows up WE'RE ALL DEAD THO also lol do you think he's gonna keep Catra around????

Me, a person who's already seen this show: WELL, *cringes*

Glimmer: we both just wanna save the people we care about, c'mon Scorpia: what...what if the rock doesn't like me :(

Glimmer gives her a little ra-ra "but we can save everyone!!!" speech

awwwwwww Scorpia finally gets hugged back

OKAY oh god I have ten minutes left on this episode and quite frankly I am Le Tired and also Daci is up here watching videos and I know dang well it's irritating as hell to hear me doing these because I pause/rewind/screenshot/type like crazy so much

SO this is it for tonight and I will reblog and start again tomorrow :D

The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

[attllhak]

I 100% blame @kagrenacs entirely for this. This is your fault. You gave me Ideas.

Also, @tortilla-of-courage I promised I’d tag you in this. Here’s that crack fic I talked about where Mario is Malon’s step-father.

Behold, a crack fic.

----------------------

Link had been dating Malon officially for about three months when the letter came.

Link had arrived at the ranch about the same time as the postman left, having just got back home from another adventure trying to help clear out a temple that had been invaded by monsters that the regular soldiers were struggling with. He went so Sheik wouldn’t, as apparently Zelda was needed at the castle for something else.

Malon was waving goodbye at the postman as Link and Epona trotted up, the boy leaning to the side of the saddle to blink at his girlfriend.

Epona snorted and nudged Malon’s head to get her attention.

“Oh what, Epona!” Malon laughed, reaching up to stroke her hand along the mare’s face. “And that means,”

Link waved at her with a smile.

“Link!” Malon grinned, coming around Epona’s side to meet him. “You’re home!”

Link nodded as he leaned down to kiss her hello, feeling much better now that he was back at the ranch, even if he was still bruised and achy and very possibly bleeding. Malon almost made him feel the way the forest did, like he was home.

He swung over and dismounted the horse, smiling as Malon pulled him into a hug.

Malon then pushed him away and spun him around. Link was confused for about one second before,

“Are you bleeding?”

Link shrugged, not entirely sure himself.

Malon made a strangled noise and then she was dragging him inside. “Honestly, Link. What part of ‘be careful’ do you not understand? You know, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t show up here bleeding sometimes,”

Link just smiled at the back of her head, not affected by her berating in the least. She’d lectured him on this before, and would do so again in the future, and he knew she wasn’t as mad as she pretended to be. At this point her yelling was as much standard fare as her patching him up was.

Link hopped up to sit on the kitchen table, watching as Malon dropped the letter on the table next to him before digging out the first aid kit she kept stocked in the room.

In lieu of anything else to look at, Link glanced down at the letter next to him. There was a red seal on the back, not dissimilar to the ones Zelda used when writing letters, though instead of the Hylian crest this seal had the image of a mushroom on it. Flipping it over saw words in neat curling letters in an alphabet Link didn’t recognize. This wasn’t surprising, as up until a year or so ago he still struggled with written Hylian. He set the letter down when he heard a door open in a different part of the house.

“Malon!” Talon shouted through the house. “Did you know Epona was out front? I thought Link had taken her,” he stopped when he turned into the kitchen and saw his daughter standing up with a first aid kit and the mentioned adventurer on his table. Link waved. “Link! You’re back!”

Link nodded, smiling at Talon as Malon opened the first aid kit on the table and started sorting through the contents.

“Link just got back a minute ago,” Malon informed her father as she had Link pull off his tunic. “He’s bleeding still, so I’m going to patch him up before he fills us in on his latest adventure,” she paused, then picked up the letter that she’d received when Link arrived. “Oh, and we got a letter from mom,”

She handed over the letter to her dad, Link watching the paper with curiosity. Malon’s mother? She’d never mentioned her mother to him before, and he’d never pried. He assumed her mother was dead, since she wasn’t around and no one talked about her, but he was also pretty sure dead people didn’t send letters. Pretty sure, not totally sure. Considering what he’d already seen on his adventures, he wasn’t ruling it out as a possibility.

Talon grumbled as he opened it, Malon pulling Link’s attention to her as she went about patching him up as best she could. A few minutes passed, Link occasionally hissing as Malon applied a disinfectant, and then Malon declared him patched up, wandering over to look at the letter over her father’s shoulder.

“What does it say?” She asked, crowding him as Link shrugged back into his tunic.

“It’s an invitation,” Talon handed it to her to read herself. “Some kind of Star Carnival or something, happens every couple of years. She’s invited us to come,” 

Link slowly raised his hand, then waved when he noticed no one was paying attention to him. Talon looked up, then nudged Malon to get her attention. Link waved his hands at the letter then at the two of them, then threw his hands up in confusion. True, he could have signed, but he only thought of that afterwards.

“Oh, right,” Malon bounced over to sit next to him to hold the letter where he could see it. He looked at it, then at her. Malon scoffed. “It’s an invitation from my mother to come to the Star Carnival in the Mushroom Kingdom,”

Link blinked, then sighed ‘Mushroom Kingdom’ back at her with his face twisted up in confusion.

Malon blinked at him, then snapped her fingers. “Oh right, I never told you about my mother, did I? She lives in a neighboring kingdom off to the west, and her and dad had a bit of a falling out a few years after I was born. Dad and Ingo moved to Hyrule, and mom remarried. I have a half sister over there now,”

Link nodded slowly, then waved at the letter again.

“Oh, mom will occasionally invite us back for festivals and stuff. It’s her way of keeping up with us, while respecting that dad moved away for a reason,” she paused, then her head snapped up and turned to him so quickly he had to lean back in order to not get hit. “You should come with us!”

Malon blinked at him, wide eyed and grinning. Link couldn’t possibly say no. He nodded.

Malon made a giddy sound and wrapped Link in a hug, then slid off the table to hand the letter to her father. She came back to grab his hands and pull him off the table too.

“Oh, you’ll love it, Link! The Star Carnival is great, there’s all sorts of games, and events, and everyone comes out for it,” Malon chatteled off, dragging Link with her so she could keep talking at him while she finished up her chores.

Link completely forgot he was supposed to tell Zelda about the temple.

About a week later Link found himself next to Malon in an oddly mushroom shaped carriage her mother sent to collect them for the carnival. Apparently this was normal for these trips, but the fact the carriage had nothing to pull it but still moved confused Link. According to Malon this was how most things worked, but he wasn’t convinced he liked that.

The trip was uneventful, except how Link kept jumping every time the carriage bumped. The little mushroom person (“He’s a Toad, they’re the race that makes up most of the Mushroom Kingdom’s people,” Malon told him) kept up a steady stream of talk, pointing out everything he saw. Link was very glad he’d managed to convince Malon to let him take one of his swords and the mirror shield with him, he felt much more comfortable armed.

His discomfort was overshadowed, however, when the site of the carnival came into view. A big red and white striped tent, with booths and stalls set up throughout the whole grounds. There were people streaming all through the area, humans, toads and some other things as well. Link found it incredible, and Malon had to pull him back into the carriage before he fell out the window.

Eventually, the carriage came to a stop at the entrance to the grounds and the three Hyruleans stepped out. There were a few long moments as Link looked around in awe, and confusion, at some of the things he was seeing. There were moving paintings positioned around the grounds showing some guy who was mostly hat and blaring his voice across the area. Malon called these moving paintings ‘video screens’, and that they were looking at something happening in a different part of the carnival. Link didn’t understand that, but they were moving along fast enough that he didn’t linger on it.

He was snapped out of looking at some star shaped pastries at a loud squeal, head snapping up and on alert. He relaxed when Malon laughed and waved in response.

“Malon!” A higher pitched voice called, belonging to a taller woman with bright blonde hair wearing a very big pink dress and long white gloves. She had a crown on her head. “You made it!”

“Of course I made it,” Malon laughed as she hugged the other woman. “Why would I miss this?”

Malon then switched to hugging and greeting another woman closer to her age, also wearing a crown but dressed in blue, her hair covering her right eye. A little chubby star creature floated next to her and waved.

Link blinked and watched the exchange, hovering off to the side.

“Oh!” Malon abruptly remembered him and turned to tug him up. “Link, I want you to meet my mother, Queen Peach, and my half sister Rosalina. Mom, Rosy, this is my boyfriend Link,”

Link managed to get himself out of his ‘Malon’s mom is queen???!?’ confusion loop long enough to bow, trying to be polite.

 “Oh no, please don’t. No one has bowed to me in a very long time, and it’s weird to see now,” Queen Peach giggled lightly as Link straightened up, the tips of his ears turning red. “You didn’t mention you had a boyfriend,”

“Uh, surprise!” Malon waved her hands as she gave her mother and sister a sheepish grin. “I have a boyfriend! His name is Link,” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rosalina extended her hand, and Link took it to shake. 

Link nodded and grinned, then signed back ‘it’s nice to meet you too’ at her when she dropped his hand. Both women blinked at him and for a second he thought he’d done something wrong. He slowly lowered his hands and blinked at them too. Maybe they didn’t speak Hylian sign? He’d never encountered someone who couldn’t understand him, but outside of Hyrule it wasn’t impossible.

“Oh,” Malon jumped in, waving at him. “Link is mute, so he uses sign to talk. I should have mentioned that,”

“Oh,” Queen Peach brightened up again. “Of course. Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Link. I hope you enjoy the carnival,” she signed as she spoke, and Link blinked at her, then matched her grin.

Link nodded happily, letting her know it wasn’t like anything he’d encountered before, but that he was enjoying things so far. 

Queen Peach offered to show them around, which Malon accepted for them, and they went about walking through the grounds while the queen pointed out different attractions. Most of these involved events she called minigames, though a few featured other attractions. Apparently minigames were part of a big event called a Party, which was a competition people could compete in for prizes. Malon had very quietly dissuaded him from participating, as apparently she was worried a few of the minigames might mess with his trauma if he were to play them. Also, apparently Hylians weren’t as durable as the people of the Mushroom Kingdom.

“Oh!” Queen Peach bounced over to one of the video screens and grinned. “It looks like a Party is starting!”

Wandering up to join the toadstool queen, Link blinked up at the moving paintings on the screen, still confused as to how that worked. The man who was mostly hat introduced a group of four, a stout man in red with blue overalls with a very big mustache named Mario, a brunette woman in a yellow dress named Daisy, a stal-like creature that resembled the creatures Malon told him were koopahs who was introduced as Dry Bones, and a tall lanky man in purple who introduced himself as Waluigi. Queen Peach was grinning, and Malon was laughing a little at this.

Link tapped Malon’s shoulder and asked her who those people were.

“Oh, well Mario is mom’s husband, and Daisy is his brother’s wife. Dry Bones is a friend, I think, and Waluigi just shows up for events like this,” Malon explained to him, pointing as she did. “It can be hard to keep track of who’s friendly and who isn’t all the time, things change so often,”

“They don’t change often,” Queen Peach giggled. “The only time anything changes is when Bowser kidnaps me, then we’re briefly enemies, but we go back to being friends when Mario comes to rescue me,”

Link blinked at her, face scrunched up. She talked like this was normal. Apparently, this was quickly explained to him, it was. It was just the relationship those three had. Link wasn’t sure he’d ever understand that concept, but was willing to push it aside for the moment.

They stood and watched the Party, and Link was glad Malon had encouraged him not to try any of the minigames. She was right about a few of them not meshing well with his trauma. He’d actually had to turn away during one because of how much it reminded him of fighting Volvagia in the Fire Temple. It was pretty easy for Malon to work him down again, and he was ever so grateful for her and her patience with him, but they didn’t turn back until after the minigame was over.

Once the Party was over, Queen Peach eagerly dragged them over to something called a warp pad in order to greet her husband when he got there. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one.

Already waiting at the pad was a very large individual. He looked vaguely like a koopah, but was much bigger, and his shell was studded with spikes. Helpfully, Link’s mind supplied him with the theory that the koopah might be like the Zora, with the ruler being much bigger than the rest of their people, and so this might be their king.

He was right, he’d soon learn.

What had him stopping dead was the man next to him. Almost eight feet tall, bright red hair, black armor. The man was distinctly Gerudo, and looked identical to Ganondorf. Link reached out and grabbed Malon’s arm, pointing out the man to her and signing as fast as she could keep up. Malon had his shoulders in her hands, and was trying to talk to him slowly, the same way she did when working him down from a panic attack or a spike in anxiety. Maybe he was freaking out, he certainly didn’t feel calm. But Ganondorf shouldn’t be here, Zelda’s father had him executed. He shouldn’t be alive, let alone here.

“Is something wrong?” Queen Peach popped up in Link’s peripheral vision, but he was too busy trying not to panic to respond to her.

Thankfully, he had Malon.

“Kind of, Link’s had some, uh, adventures that have messed with his head a little. Bowser’s friend over there happens to look like a man named Ganondorf who tried to kill him more than once, with quite a bit of effort,” Malon rubbed Link’s arms as she spoke, glancing back at him every once in a while. “He’s a little freaked out to see someone who looks so similar, even if this can’t be Ganondorf, since Queen Zelda’s father, the late king, had him executed for trying to kill the royal family and steal Hyrule’s crown about ten or so years ago.”

“Oh, I hadn’t realized,” Queen Peach paused, glancing back at Bowser and maybe-Ganondorf, then back to the two of them. “If you’ll give me a moment,”

She ducked out, and in the meantime Link managed to wrangle his breathing under control. Eventually, he felt confident enough in himself to not immediately try to stab maybe-Ganondorf, but he did pull the mirror shield onto his arm. He felt better when he had it out.

Link specifically kept his shield between himself and maybe-Ganondorf as they approached, Malon keeping a hand on his arm. The conversation petered out as they made it up.

Maybe-Ganondorf clapped his hands together, which had Link pulling up the shield and tensing. The maybe-Ganondorf paused, then spread his hands.

“I understand that someone who looked like me tried to hurt you in the past?” The man, who even sounded like Ganondorf, asked. Link was then hit again with the fact that in this timeline Ganondorf never actually tried to kill him, and even when he had it was both his past and future for a while. He nodded, not willing to dwell on the details of his seven year sleep and subsequent return to childhood. The man grimaced. “I am truly sorry then. My name is Greg, I am a good, friend, of Bowser’s, and I can assure you I am not the same man who wanted to see you come to harm,”

Link narrowed his eyes, but did peek a little further over his shield.

There was a long, tense moment where Link just looked over Greg, trying to decide how he felt about him. After several heartbeats where Link found nothing but honesty, he nodded and lowered the shield some. He didn’t put it away however.

Greg grinned, nodding back.

“You can probably put the shield away now,” Queen Peach offered gently.

Link just tightened his grip on the reflective defense and pulled it closer to himself.

“I don’t think that’s happening,” Malon said gently, squeezing his arm some. “It’s just, well, I’m sure it just makes him feel a little better, what with the situation and all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never got better around male Gerudo,” she tried to laugh.

“What’s a Gerudo?” Greg asked.

Link dropped the shield to his side and made a face.

(---)

The rest of the day was spent being introduced to a few others of Queen Peach’s friends, and then later avoiding Greg as best he could, and even watching Malon play some of the minigames with her sister.

Link felt a little bad about avoiding Greg, but he looked so much like Ganondorf that he really didn’t trust himself not to hurt the man. Better to just avoid him.

They were invited to spend the night at Peach’s castle, after which they’d return to the carnival the next day.

Somehow, between meeting Mario and crashing for the night, the plumber convinced him to agree to a race.

Link didn’t know how to use any of the racing machines they had.

He spent a great deal of time, at length, bemoaning his impulsivity to Malon, who eventually got tired enough with him to track down her stepfather and get him to teach Link to use one of the machines. Mario, to his credit, was surprisingly understanding and more than helpful.

It didn’t take long to decide Link would do better on a bike than in a kart.

Link also needed to help repair a wall later.

These are related.

“Alright,” Mario rubbed his hands together as he coached Link through the basics. “This-a thing here? That’s-a the brakes. You pull on-a those to slow down. This-a piece you twist, and that makes-a you go! You see?”

Link nodded slowly, pulling on the lever for the brakes and twisting the handle.

“Okay, let’s-a do one lap around the track, and-a see how you do,” Mario nodded back waving at the track. “Let’s-a go!”

Link gave a sharp nod, taking a deep breath as he did. This would be his fifth try at this.

Malon gave him a pair of thumbs up from the sidelines, grinning at him. He was glad she was more confident in him than he was.

He slowly twisted the handle, the machine puttering to life (a phrase Link was distinctly uncomfortable with) and eased forward gently. After a few moments he was increasing speed around the oval track, getting more comfortable with using the bike. He avoided the jumps he could, but managed to not wipe out on the ones he couldn’t. Slowing to a stop in front of Malon and Mario, he felt distinctly proud of himself for not crashing.

Malon jumped up from where she was sitting, clapping happily as she bounced over to hug him.

“You didn’t crash that time!” She grinned. “You’re getting better!”

‘I am,’ Link grinned back, a group of bees set loose in his chest alongside the happiness.

“You’re-a doing so much better! Now, let’s-a maybe think about getting better with the jumps, hm?” Mario clapped as he approached.

Link nodded, signing his response slowly. Mario knew Mushroom Kingdom Sign, but not Hylian Sign, and the two had some differences. This meant communication was slow going, which was partly why Malon was there.

They spent a few more hours, and a lot more crashing, practicing the jumps. Apparently there were a lot of jumps in these races.

By the time they decided to take a break for lunch, Link was covered in bruises but could also reasonably be trusted to not crash every time he attempted a jump, which was much better than he was when they started.

“Oh my! What happened to you?” Peach gasped, looking over the group as they arrived to join the queen and the rest of the family for lunch.

‘Learned the jumps,’ Link signed at her, grinning maybe a bit wider than he needed to.

“The bruises were self-inflicted,” Malon told everyone, dragging Link over to sit between Talon and Rosalina with her. “He’s gotten very good at crashing. And at not crashing, but that skill’s taking longer,”

Rosalina started giggling. “Well, it seems we all have a type,”

Link looked at her in confusion while he let Malon set up plates for them.

“What do you mean?” Peach asked.

Rosalina pointed at her mother. “You married dad, who is prone to extreme spots. And turns sports that aren’t extreme sports into extreme sports. I have never seen someone make golf a full contact sport other than him,” she turned her finger to Malon. “Malon has brought home a boy who is firstly more than willing to participate in said extreme sports, and, Mal you said he works for your Queen, right?”

Malon nodded. “He’s technically part of the royal guard, but really he’s just sent out to go deal with monsters when Her Majesty can’t do it herself. He comes back bleeding a lot,” she sent him a halfhearted glare. He smiled innocently in response.

“Right,” Rosalina nodded. “He’s prone to come back bleeding. And the last time I saw Sammy, she was also bleeding and bruised because she got in a fight with a robot that nearly kicked her, erm, butt,” she cleared her throat and paused until she got a nod from her mother, then continued. “Right, so, my point is we have a type, and it’s the same one,”

“And that type is?” Malon asked.

“People who are prone to getting hurt,”

Link felt mildly like he should be offended by that, but Malon was just nodding along so he decided to drop it. It wasn’t like he could argue, after all.

“Oh, is your girlfriend coming?” Malon asked, handing Link a plate but focusing on her sister.

Link didn’t know what some of the things on his plate were, and lightly poked at one of the mushrooms. This is why he decided to let Malon grab food for him.

“She should be, she told me she’d try at least,” Rosalina nodded. “But, well, you know how busy she can be sometimes. Her job doesn’t allow her a lot of free time,”

Malon nodded. “I get that. It can be hard dating someone who spends so much time away getting in fights,”

She gave Link a side eye and he paused halfway into a bite. Was she mad at him? Or was this one of those joking jab things? He couldn’t quite tell the difference yet. She didn’t seem like she was mad at him. Maybe she was trying to relate to her sister? Wait, what did her sister’s girlfriend do that he’d be a comparison?

He figured he’d ask.

Apparently Sammy was a mercenary (“She fights things for money,” Malon told him. “Kind of like you do, but you work for the Queen and she works for herself,”), and that meant she spent a lot of time away and then coming back injured. Like Link did.

“You’d probably get along with her really well,” Malon offered, subtly adding more of the thing he’d already cleared off his plate to his portion. “You can bond over killing things and getting hurt and worrying your girlfriends about the fact that you’re out killing things and getting hurt all alone,”

Link frowned at her and narrowed his eyes. The worst part was that he couldn’t even argue, she was right. He did spend a lot of time killing things and getting hurt and worrying her, and he did do most of it alone.

That thought sort of made his chest ache. He wouldn’t be alone if he still had Navi, but he hadn’t been able to find her yet. He didn’t want to sour the atmosphere though, so he pushed that thought to the side and shoved Malon’s shoulder in retaliation.

Malon shoved him back, laughing, and Link didn’t bother fighting the grin on his face. It was moments like this that made the trauma and the longing easier to deal with.

They spent some more time practicing the jumps for the race Link had gotten himself roped into and introducing him to the ‘power ups’, and then wandered around the festival grounds until dinner, where they retired to the castle. Link found out quickly that the power ups were made with people way more durable than him in mind. A conversation started about finding an item or something that might help protect him a bit.

Malon had pulled out a health potion she insisted Link drink to heal up the bruises he’d acquired when they heard the, whirring? Link didn’t know what to make of that sound, but he did know he should figure it out.

Which is how Link ended up carefully crossing the entryway of the castle, eyes on the front door, Malon frustrated and following behind him.

Rosalina came barrelling down a stairwell just as Link got to the door, startling him.

“Don’t mind Link,” Malon rolled her eyes. “He’s just never heard the sound of a ship landing before,”

Ship?

“So that was her ship I saw!” Rosalina pushed past Link, who made a strangled noise as she did, and ran out the door.

Link followed, hand on his sword, just in case, and froze.

Someone was standing on the bridge to the castle, wearing dark orange armor and standing easily as tall as a gerudo, maybe taller. Link couldn’t make out much more from that, since the armor covered them head to toe, and their helmet covered their entire head and face. It also looked shinier than any armor he’d ever seen before.

This person caught Rosalina when she threw herself at them, lifting her up and spinning them both around. A sort of mechanical laugh came from the armored person.

Link turned to Malon.

“That’s Samus, Rosy’s girlfriend,” Malon explained. “Come on, let’s go say hi!”

Malon headed down the bridge to where Samus had set Rosalina down. Link stayed where he was, the Luma that followed Rosalina around coming up to float next to him. Luma yawned, and Link offered it a small smile. They must have been getting ready for bed when Samus arrived.

“Link!” He turned at Malon’s shout, seeing her wave at him. “Come meet Samus!”

Samus had pulled off her helmet, revealing tied back blonde hair and pale skin. So, not gerudo, just tall.

He offered Luma a sympathetic shrug and wandered over.

“Link, this is Samus,” Malon waved between them as Link came up. “Samus, this is my boyfriend, Link. He’s mute, so he speaks using sign, but he can hear you just fine,”

“Hello, Link,” Samus offered him a smile, signing in very choppy Hylian Sign as she spoke, and then offered her hand to shake. “It’s nice to meet you,”

Link signed slowly as he replied, figuring Samus might appreciate it, and then accepted her handshake.

They didn’t stay standing there for long since it was already getting quite dark. Link offered to help Samus move in some of her things, since she was apparently staying for a few weeks between jobs, which is how he found himself pulling on his golden gauntlets to pick up a very heavy suitcase to carry inside. Samus had the other very heavy case, and Malon and Rosalina helped carry in the rest of it.

Once Samus was settled Malon resumed her crusade to get Link to drink the rest of the health potion.

(---)

The next time Link ran into Samus was right before his race. They hadn’t found something to help with the power ups yet, though he did receive a racing suit to wear in case he crashed.

He stopped mid-sign as something heavy dropped round his neck.

He turned to look down at the item, some kind of medallion on a chain. There was some kind of bird on it, and some kind of writing he couldn’t read, though he didn’t expect to be able to. It didn’t feel magical, but it did sort of, hum in his hands.

He turned around to blink up at the person who dropped in on him. Which turned out to be Samus.

She wasn’t wearing the armor, instead wearing just a skin-tight blue outfit that showed off her abs and the muscles in her arms. She had a lot of muscle. Link started doubting his conclusion that she wasn’t somehow part gerudo.

“I heard you were worried about being durable enough to compete,” Samus explained when Link made a confused motion at the medallion. “That should help,”

‘How?’ Link asked.

“It’s an old bit of tech I picked up but haven’t needed in a long while,” Samus explained.

Link spent a moment finger spelling out that word and trying to remember where he heard it before.

“It’s like magic, but not magic,” Rosalina appeared to lean behind Samus, who towered over her even when she was standing straight. “Sammy you need to remember they don’t even have video screens in Hyrule, you’re going to confuse him,”

“Oh,” Samus blinked, looking between them. “Uh, sorry,”

Link waved her off and assured her it was fine, and then asked for more clarification on the item she just gave him.

“I figured it would solve your durability issue,” Samus explained. “For the race,”

Link nodded, turning it over in his hands for a minute. He tucked it under the suit, the metal oddly warm despite having only just put it on, and thanked Samus for the help.

She promised to be cheering him on, which was met by a huff and light shove from Rosalina, who was also racing.

The medallion did help. It didn’t quite put him on par with the native residents of the Mushroom Kingdom, but it did keep him from getting seriously hurt by some of the more extreme power ups.

Seriously, some of them were just insane.

He didn’t win, but he did come about middle of the pack, which he was quite proud of.

Samus let him keep the medallion, since he could probably get more use out of it than she would, and then Rosalina dragged them all out to get some star pastries to celebrate the fact she won.

Samus ended up far more confident in her Hylian Sign by the end of the day, mostly due to her and Link being dragged about the faire by their girlfriends as they competed in a few minigames. Samus had asked for some help practicing when she noticed Link was a bit uncomfortable with some of the minigames.

Link decided he liked Samus.

He especially liked it when their girlfriends got back and Rosalina had fake-whispered to Malon “Oh no, they’re teaming up!” and all four of them started laughing.

They stayed for a week, the length of the carnival, but they did have to get back to Hyrule. It didn’t help that Sheik had likely tried dealing with everything himself, and as such the kingdom had to deal with the Queen slipping out to fight things.

Once they’d said goodbye, with promises to write between Malon and her family, they climbed back into the little carriage thing they’d arrived in and Link turned to Malon immediately.

‘You’ll bring me with you next time too, right?’

Malon laughed, and agreed to bring him with the next time they were invited.

Neither of them had fully expected Link to get a letter a few weeks after they got home, but sure enough, it was his name written in the alphabet used by the Mushroom Kingdom.

It was decided that they should probably teach him how to read that alphabet after that.

The small package he received from Rosalina a few years later with her and Malon’s grandmother’s engagement ring after he’d proposed with a little note that the ring he’d found was way too flashy was probably to be expected. Even he and Malon had agreed on that the day before. They did switch out the rings, and though the old Queen’s ring was still a bit fancy for a farm girl, it wasn’t going to accidentally blind someone.

He figured he’d pass off Queen Peach’s offer to plan their wedding to Zelda, who had also already decided she wanted to plan it.

Let people who actually knew what they were doing plan it, he’d focus on making sure he was mostly uninjured come the day of. He’d just help with the invitation list.

This, he learned later, was a very smart call.