#also you seen me scream about it in Discord

[macabrecake]

how do you think DI! Leon is gonna be?

AAAAA I completely forgot this was in here and I am so sorry 😭 But after seeing the newest trailer (obviously just once because I am totally normal) it has possessed me something FIERCE out here!

➻ Oh you know he's definitely gonna be rearranging my- *shot*

➻ Anyway! I was thinking on this in particular for a long time but I had a feeling he's gonna be serious but still crack some jokes every now and then with his dry humor. So very glad to see that stuck!

➻ Obviously much like Chris, done with the shit, but putting up with it better than in Vendetta.

➻ Which speaking of, I NEED to point out how much healthier he looks! It provides a sense that maybe he found a new sense of hope after Vendetta that convinced him to take better care of himself! Proud of him!

➻ One word.

➻ Dilf.

➻ And he fucking knows it too.

[shitididnthaveablogfor]

the ever frustrating issue of trying to find a fandom discord that fits for you

half the ones I've seen r for minors, a good portion of the ones that r 18+ r just for rp which is fine but i dont want that and the only one ive seen that would work for me doesnt want proshippers

like my brother in christ they're fictional warcriminals how tf is proshipping where u draw the line

anyway if there's a cod discord thats 18+, not mainly for rp and doesnt mind a degenerate like me pls lemme know, or ig if enough ppl want one (reply here and/or dm me) ill fucking make one!

[rainbowangel110]

Don't mind me just eating this up :)

I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

[jinogasux-fr]

Santae banned me without telling me why and won't unban me unless I send them my photo ID

Hey guys sorry for not posting in… forever? I just suck at social media lol. But you may have seen that I've reblogged some posts that advertise Santae in the past, but please disregard all that. I've since deleted those posts after learning how the site is managed and, after what happened to me a few days ago, I feel as though I should go public about this. Because boy did I just get fucked over.

Anyway, yeah, what it says in the title. On October 24th, around 10am EST, I was restocking my user shop when the entire webpage went white. I couldn't access the site at all and, when I tried to look for the Discord on my server list, it wasn't there. I knew what this had meant. I got banned from both the game, and the Discord - this is important to keep in mind for later.

I didn't receive any Discord DM or email notification about my ban, so after asking a mod what their support email was (and yes, I later verified that this is indeed their legitimate support email), I sent them this:

After a few hours, I get this back in response:

There's so much I'm confused about here. I think the one that screams out the most is that they're asking me to show them my photo ID so I can get unbanned. Absolutely not. I refuse to do this. This poses a massive security and privacy risk. They straight up banned my account, gave this half-baked explanation, and told me I need to send my personal information or... I stay banned?

Let me make something clear: The only personal thing they have on file about this account is the email address that I created my account with, which I've also used to contact them. My real name, date of birth, anything of that nature would not be connected because this was not asked for during account creation, therefore this wouldn't actually prove I'm the account holder. Theoretically speaking, I could show them any ID in the world and for all they know, that's my real information, because they have nothing else to go off of. They even say as much in their privacy page.

Secondly, "account has been compromised"? What does that mean? I think anyone's interpretation of this would be that my account got hacked. But if my account got hacked, why wasn't I informed of this? I had to reach out to support, they did not reach out to me first. That means my password, which I may share across other sites, would have been known to someone else and thus I should've been warned of this immediately, not roughly 5 hours after the fact.

Thirdly, what, was my Discord "compromised" too? If an automated system had flagged my account, does that system somehow interact with a Discord bot so they ban a user on both at the same time? How does that work? That makes no sense as to why they'd ban me on both the game and the Discord for something like this, which is why I'm calling bullshit.

Let me tell you what I think happened.

Recently, Santae has been in some really hot water with connections revealing their relation to an older petsite, Lurapets, which has a history of scamming and artist mistreatment, as well as proof coming out of them using AI art for their NPC art. You can find these posts on the @santae-salt blog if you want to see for yourself, but I'm also linking them throughout this post.

Once the post about them being directly related to Lurapets was released, several users that the Santae staff thought might be involved in the creation of the post got banned. As it turns out, I was banned at the same time as these users.

After speaking with the @santae-salt admin, we are both of the belief that I, a regular user, got caught up in this mess because they're assuming I'm an alt account of someone else and staff demanded to see my ID because they didn't think I was a different person. It may turn out to be wrong, and yeah that sounds a bit far-fetched, sure, but really, what else can I go off of here?? Santae staff has given me a very questionable and refutable explanation as to why I've been banned, and their radio silence after I refused to send them my ID is just making me believe they don't think I'm real. They don't want my photo ID to verify I'm the account holder, they want my photo ID to verify I'm not someone else.

This is unprecedented. I've never seen any petsite ask for a photo ID in any situation, and after asking around, not even those banned from Santae were asked for this. It's just me! This is an incredible attempted breach of privacy, and, with Santae now under doxxing allegations, I really don't feel confident they'd keep my personal information… well, personal.

I messaged back almost immediately after they responded to me where I told them I would not send my ID and I had asked if there were any other way I could verify myself to get my account unbanned. I've received no response so far, and after what I've learned, I feel like I'm not going to get one at all.

So, let this be a lesson to you: don't waste your time on Santae. You can be the most obedient player out there. You can abide by all their rules, be a nice and generous player, or just be minding your own business, but if they so much as think you're associated with someone who they think has wronged them, you'll be banned.

And they can't even be bothered to properly tell you why.

[silentglassbreak]

if you’re still taking and writing delulu fantasies could i please request one where you meet noah (say you know people working in the scene so you meet them backstage after a show when your friends invite you to spend time with them?).

you’re used to meeting band dudes so it’s nothing but noah tries to appear chill in his pursuit of you. you think he’s cute so you go with it but the most awkward flirtation and cringy smut ensues. (my kink’s an embarrassed noah 😌) thank you so much! <3

Cringey, embarrassed smut? That’s a first for me, and I’m kind of excited LOL. Hopefully this is what you’re looking for!

After Writing Notes: Yaknow, every time I start one of these things, I tell myself I'm going to make it shorter...Anyway, here's 9000 words. Hope you enjoy! Also, huge shoutout to @notyourmomsromancenovel for helping me come up with ideas for cringey smut.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: injury, fainting, smut (in the goofiest way ever)

Beautiful Mistakes

When you pictured Noah Sebastian - front man and lead vocalist in the viral metal-core band Bad Omens - you pictured something way different.

You had been following the band’s work for a while and, like everyone else, had noticed the immediate shift in their persona and presence. You had been a softcore fan of theirs since 2018, and spent many nights on Twitch, playing Elden Ring and listening to his streams as background noise. Sometimes you had been one of the only people in the chat, listening to him produce his beats or record rough vocals. Other times, you sat and chatted with him while he idly played guitar.

Once the pandemic hit full force, there were plenty of nights you sat and talked to Noah, watching the hilarity that ensued. Cat-eared headset on and music playing, Noah would stare at his screen, munching on the Body of Christ and making ridiculous noises.

“Where are my regulars? I need someone to talk to!”

/CrossContaminate/: I’m right here, calm down.

“Hey! Cross is here! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

/CrossContaminate/: I have a job, Noah. You wouldn’t know about that. 😝

“Woooooow…” He pressed a hand to his chest and stared straight into the camera. “That one stung, girl.”

/CrossContaminate/: How do you know I’m a girl? I could be a 50 year old dude, yaknow.

He raised his eyebrows at that. “You’ve got a point. Maybe you should come on video chat with all of us so we can be sure.” He lowered his glasses down on his nose and looked dead into the camera. “For my own safety, of course.”

You cackled loudly at this, typing out your response.

/CrossContaminate/: Nah, I don’t vid chat. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

He rolled his eyes, and smirked. “Same old Cross, I see.”

Noah tried to get you to join video chat regularly often over the years. He had DM'ed you a few times when he saw you were online, wanting to voice call or join a Discord with him, to which you always declined.

You didn’t have a hard and fast rule against chatting online with people via voice or video, you just didn’t do it. Your life was busy and hectic. You didn’t have a ton of time to yourself, so the nights where you got to sit and just not exist in the real world, and only online, it was nice to just remain anonymous.

You had stumbled across Noah’s Twitch by accident once, when looking for something different. His face captured you, however, and once you clicked into it, you were hooked. It wasn’t so much because he was good looking - he was definitely a cutie - but he looked ridiculous.

His hair was long and haphazard. He was wearing an oversized hoodie, drinking cheap wine straight from the bottle, and he was wearing huge bottle cap sunglasses. It was, by far, the goofiest thing you had seen in a long time. He was playing Dead Space, and would jump at the smallest noises, nearly screaming anytime a monster popped into the frame.

But, as all things, time moved on, and he changed. Once the pandemic was waning down, he had began preparing for the release of his next album. The streams became less frequent, and he put his account on a permanent hiatus.

It was a bummer, so you couldn’t help but try keeping track of him on socials. He was decently active on Twitter and Instagram, but even that began to slow down. He had enough followers that your personal account went unnoticed by him.

Aside from his online presence, his appearance also changed pretty dramatically in a very short time. He cut all of his hair off, which, to be entirely honest, broke your heart some. You had always loved the innocence he seemed to maintain by having the long hair. It hurt your feelings to see it go, but you had to admit, the short hair was something else entirely.

Before, Noah typically stuck to regular t-shirts and jeans, simple and timeless rock and roll fashion. Once they started touring for TDOPOM album, you noticed the dramatic change in their stage presence. Ski masks, all black clothing, track pants, and heavy coats. Noah usually ended the set in a black wife-beater top, and you noticed the other change.

He was fucking stacked, now. Noah had always been skinny and long - like a toothpick. Not anymore. His shoulders had broadened, his neck was thicker, and his arms were defined and muscular. That was a change you didn’t mind at all.

What happened? Was second puberty a thing? Because you swore that could be the only explanation for such a drastic difference in Noah in such a short time period.

Although you watched the band from afar, you never had made any time to go see them live, always working anymore. That sucked, because even if you had, it’s not like you’d be able to see him. He was too big of a celebrity now, and you were far from. He likely wouldn’t even remember you, so you never bothered.

As silly as it sounded, it almost hurt your feelings the same as watching an old friend change and grow apart from you over time, even though that wasn’t exactly the case here.

Although, you rationalized that you and him did speak nearly every day for almost two whole years - so it wasn’t that silly, was it?

So you were absolutely floored when your best friend called you, random Friday evening, and asked you for a favor.

“I booked a gig for tomorrow, and I know it’s last minute, but the guy who was supposed to be helping ate some bad sushi or something, and I could desperately use a hand.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes, trying not to be too loud in the Target checkout line.

“It’s my only day off, Iz.”

She huffed. “I know, I know, but I promise it pays really well!”

You growled into the receiver. “Dude, I just did a gig last night, and I have another to do tonight!”

“It’s only four hours! And it pays twelve hundred.”

You were ready to protest, but stopped. “Total?”

“A piece.”

“Fuck, dude. That’s more than double what a normal gig that long pays.”

“I know, that’s why I’m saying, worth the exhaustion.”

You finished scanning your items, pulling your card out to pay. “That kind of money, probably a big band. Who is it?”

“Bad Omens, have you heard of them?”

You stopped, eyes snapping up and fingers stalling at the card reader. “No shit, huh?”

“So, you have heard of them?”

You grabbed your bag, making your way outside. “Yeah, actually. Remember that guy on Twitch I used to talk to?”

“Noah?” It took her a second to put the pieces together, so you stayed silent while she did. “Oh, Noah! As in Noah Sebastian!”

“Bingo.”

“Well shit! Maybe he remembers you!”

You shook your head, taking a long gulp of your iced coffee. “Mm-mm,” You set the drink down. “he never saw my face or heard my voice. Didn’t even know my real name.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Only knew me by my tag. He called me ‘Cross’ for short.”

“Ah, okay, so he’ll have no idea who you are!” She laughed at this.

You switched the call to your Bluetooth and sighed. “I guess, since you asked so fucking nicely and I need to pay my rent, I will agree to do the gig with you.”

She squeaked in appreciation. “You’re saving my ass, dude.”

You shrugged. “Pick me up at least two hours before. We need time to prepare.”

“Noon, then?”

“I’ll be ready.”

You and Isobel were known, by the official term in the industry, as Venue Assistants. You were independent contractors who were recommended to acts by the venues, and hired by those bands for specific occasions to help ensure a smooth, easy show. This could mean anything from stocking the green room, switching out instruments, helping with outfit changes, grabbing anything the artists needed. It was an exhausting job, and you had been doing it for about five years now. As tiring as it was, it paid well, and it was a lot of fun. You had the opportunity to meet some of the best bands in the industry - and some of the worst. You had more stories to tell than anyone, and you wouldn’t change careers if you were paid to.

At the venue the following day, you had received word from the stage director that the band was running behind, and they needed you both to grab food and coffees for all of them. Typically, you’d roll your eyes at this, but you didn’t immediately, as you knew life happened, and it could’ve happened for a lot of reasons. You had gone and grabbed the guys their Chinese food while Iz picked up the Starbucks order, and arrived back at the theater just before the band did.

They came in, all looking rather tired and irritated. Noah was the last to enter, baseball hat on his head and wearing basketball shorts under his large hoodie.

“All I’m saying is, I don’t know how you had no idea the window would break.” The man who you recognized to be Jolly was still lecturing Noah as they came in, dropping their bags down.

You and Isobel were in the back of the room, speaking with the crew who were preparing to bring in the instruments and equipment. You planned to help unload it all, so you were listening to the stage director instruct them on where to place everything.

“It was a stress ball! Why would I think it would break the window?!”

“Because it was hard?” Folio piped up as he sat down, tearing into the food.

“Look, it’s not a huge deal. Safelite said they can have it fixed before tomorrow. It’ll be fine!”

You shook your head, sincerely wondering what the hell they were talking about. Your attention, however, was pulled back to Isobel. You followed her out to the truck where the loading ramp was being pulled down.

“You going to talk to him?” She asked as she began pulling a mic stand out. You grabbed one of the smaller amps, and followed her back to the delivery door.

“Probably not. We’ve got a lot to do.”

“I mean,” She set the stand down and looked over to where the band sat, apparently still arguing amongst themselves, and looked back at you. “you could go talk to him now? I can unload this with the guys.”

“I need to earn my paycheck too, Iz.”

“Why don’t you want to talk to him?”

You stopped walking away, turning to look at her. “I never said that.”

“So go talk to him? He’s just a guy.”

You sighed, narrowing your eyes at her. “Fine, I will.”

Stomping back toward the couches of the green room, you heard her laugh behind you. It wasn’t any big deal, you didn’t see why she was bugging you about this. You inhaled a big breath, and walked straight up to the group, noticing they were all now sat and eating.

“Hey guys.” You waved a hand at them. “I don’t mean to bug you while you’re eating. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ll be one of your VA’s for the evening. If you need anything at all, or have any preferences I should be aware of, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

They all set their food down and stood, pushing their hands out for you to shake. You took each one gracefully, hearing them tell you their names, which you already knew.

The last to introduce himself was Noah, who, while leaning over the table to take your grasp, knocked a bottle of soy sauce down, causing you to jump back. It was too late, and your dark blue jeans had black splatter on them.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!”

You grabbed a napkin and patted at the spots quickly, waving. “No, it’s okay. It shouldn’t stain.” Hopefully.

Nicholas grabbed a roll of paper towels from the back table and cleaned it up quickly, smiling sheepishly at you. “You’ll have to excuse Noah. He’s as clumsy as they come.”

Noah smacked a hand at his shoulder. “Not true, dick.” He looked back up at you apologetically. “Again, I’m so sorry.”

Moving around the table to approach him, you took his hand. “It’s really no problem.”

“I didn’t catch your name?” You gave it to him, and he smiled brightly at you. “That’s different?”

Smirking, you nodded. “It is. You can just call me Cross.”

For a second, you weren’t sure he was going to get it. His hand continued shaking yours for an unnecessarily long time while his brow furrowed, staring at you. After a moment, he cocked his head to the side.

“Cross…” He strung the word out on his tongue. “As in…” You could actually see the light bulb go off behind his eyes, and they popped open wide.

“Oh shit!” His hand let go of yours, and suddenly he was grabbing you by the forearms, startling you a bit. “No fucking way!”

He was smiling way bigger than you expected, but in that smile, you saw that same goofy guy that used to sit with you for hours, chatting online and dicking around.

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember.” You grinned back at him, trying to push down the little bit of butterflies that started trying to scoot their way into your chest.

You noticed how his face fell just slightly when you said it, likely remembering quite how long it had been. “Of course I remember.” His voice was even, but he still looked enthused.

“Well, it’s good to finally meet you.”

He looked up and down at you, taking a step back for effect. “Yeah, same here. I guess you aren’t a fifty year old dude after all.”

Your face flushed at that, and you shook your head. “Nope. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Care to introduce?” Jolly stood behind you, and you turned to see him stand with a raised eyebrow.

Noah took the initiative to push you slightly toward the rest of the band.

“You guys remember when I used to stream all the time? And I had that one chick who used to join every day and chat with me for hours? She was the one who used to tell people I was a Billie Eilish fan page.” He looked down at you with an eyebrow raised, and you broke out in hard laughter.

“Well, you practically were, Noah!”

He shook his head, turning to tower over you. “I was not! I just like her music!”

Folio stood up, smiling wide. “Oh, dude I remember that! Didn’t she hack into your account and change your profile photo and everything?”

Noah glared down at you, which caused a whole new fit of giggles to erupt.

“What?! It got you more subs!”

He rolled his eyes and pulled your arm, moving you to sit on the couch next to him.

“How have you been?” He shoved a mouthful of chow mein and spoke around his food. “I know it’s been a while, I’m sorry.”

You just shook your head. “No need to apologize. You’ve been busy.”

He beamed at that. “Have you heard the new album?”

“I have. It’s really great.”

“You think? I appreciate that.”

You sat back, watching how he inhaled the food in front of him. “Also, I’ve been good. Also keeping busy.”

Wiping his mouth on a napkin, he nodded. “This is what you do? Full time?”

“Yeah, been doing it a while. I like it.”

He leaned back also, arms falling into his lap. The other guys had began to disperse, heading to different parts of the building to begin their preparations.

"That's cool."

The conversation fell silent between you both, and you cleared your throat. "Well, it's really good to see you, Noah."

He affirmed with a nod, chewing on his lip. "I feel bad for not keeping in touch."

"Oh stop. You had no way to reach me other than Twitch."

"That's true. I don't have social media anymore, either." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, I saw that."

The quiet was strange and uncomfortable, and you decided not to stall your job any longer. "Well, I'd better get back to work."

He stood too, bumping into your shoulder as he did, nearly knocking you back into the couch. Instantly, his hand reached out to grab you.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, and in his attempt to hook your arm, his hand missed, and grabbed a full hand of your right breast.

A sharp gasp tumbled out of you, and he pulled his hand back with haste, causing you to lose your balance again, and fall backward, the back of your head smacking the arm of the couch.

"Damn it!" He crouched down to grab you, but your hand came up in front of you.

"Uhm," You squeezed your eyes closed, clearing the spots that formed in your vision. "I got it."

Sitting up, you rubbed at the back of your head. He sat down again, keeping about a foot of distance between you.

"I'm so fucking sorry."

Your eyes opened, seeing the look of absolute shame and guilt painted on his face. It was comical.

What a fucking doofus.

"Noah," You turned your head back and forth to assess if your neck was injured. It wasn't. "I think your clumsiness is spreading."

His face fell in his hands. "I'm so sorry." He apologized again, groaning loudly. "I don't know what's wrong with me today!"

"Everyone has off days." You assured, taking a moment before you stood back up.

"Not like today. I broke a window in the tour bus this morning, that's why we were late."

Your mouth fell open. "You broke the window?"

"I didn't mean to! I had one of those squishy stress-ball things? It was real firm, cause it was new. So I was trying to soften it up by squeezing it, and I thought, maybe if I bounced it a few times, it would get softer..."

Your eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "You didn't..."

"I just tossed it gently and the fucking thing broke a hole clean out of the window!"

Maybe it was the near-concussion or the obscenity of it all, but a guttural laughter came out of you, making you fall back onto the couch clutching your sides.

"It's not funny!" Noah tried to argue, but ended up laughing with you, his bravado deflating.

"Ah, Noah," You wiped the tears spilling from your eyes. "you really haven't changed."

After your unfortunate accident earlier, Noah had insisted on exchanging numbers with you, so he could check in and make sure you were okay throughout the night. This was after he failed to convince you to go get checked out at an ER, and swore him to not tell anyone what happened. The last thing you needed was an incident in the workplace.

Noah was half an hour from going onstage, and you were on the side stage, checking the battery level of all of the microphones. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you rolled your eyes. It had been nearly constant for the last three hours.

Noah: Checking in. How's the head?

You sighed, typing a quick response.

You: Same as it was twenty minutes ago - normal.

Noah: Any pain?

You: No.

That wasn't entirely true. You had a dull throbbing at the base of your skull, but you were doing a great job of ignoring it.

Noah: Okay. Where are you?

You: Stage left. I'm covering you and Folio tonight, so I'm checking the mics and making sure all your stuff is ready.

Noah: Cool. Need any help?

You: Shouldn't you be getting ready?

Noah: Yeah, probably.

You snickered, staring at your screen before sending the next message.

You: If I didn't know better, I'd think you concussed me just to ask me for my number.

It was stupid, but you couldn't help but fuck with him a little bit. His response came quickly.

Noah: Maybe I did. ;P

You scowled down at the phone. What the hell?

His type bubble appeared quickly, another message coming in.

Noah: Wait, that sounded creepy. I'm kidding, I swear.

You: Suuuuuuure

He read that message, but didn't respond. You had definitely caught him a little off-guard and it made you laugh. You stared down at the winking face emoji, and it dawned on you that he was flirting with you. You visibly shivered, somewhat stunned.

Noah Sebastian was tall, dark, and sexy in almost every video and interview you had watched of him since he went dark over a year ago...but inside, it appeared he was still just as dorky and uncoordinated as you always knew him to be. You didn't realize it was quite this bad, however.

And not only was he clumsy, he was bad at flirting too...

You shook off the feeling, trying your hardest not to smile at the thought. Despite the ickiness of it all, you were flattered. He may be kind of Scooby-Doo-ish, but he was handsome, and talented. He also had a soft, deep side of him that you had the pleasure of seeing on more than one occasion.

Maybe he was just nervous? Maybe you could just go with it and see how it turned out?

You resolved to push it to the back of your mind for the time being, placing yourself back into your professional work mindset as the show began.

Noah was entirely different on stage, completely in control and flowing effortlessly through the songs. He looked like an entirely different person out there. He would pop back to the sides here and there to get some water, switch out his mic, or wipe the sweat from his face. Each time, he'd give you a look of concern, and ask about your head again. You would just shush him and push him back out onto the stage.

You were also covering Folio, who was up on the riser, beating away at his drum set. The stairs you had to climb were tall, and after the third trip up here, you felt the room tilt like it was turning on it's side. You held the railing, catching Folio's eye as the darkened room began lighting up again.

He mouthed at you a quick 'You good?' and you just nodded, throwing him a thumbs up, and heading back down the stairs. Noah was stood, gulping his water, and staring at you.

"I saw that. What's wrong?"

You shook your head. "Nothing, go, the next song is starting."

He pressed a hand into your shoulder, now looking much more stern than worried. "I don't care. Are you okay?"

Still trying to brush it off, you grabbed hold of his arm, trying to push him away. It didn't occur to you that it was also instinctive, as your feet were starting to feel a little numb. "Noah, you don't have time for this."

He stood square in front of you, eyebrows raised and arms crossed over his chest.

"Are. You. Okay?" He enunciated each word, but he suddenly started to look so much taller than he did a second ago. And when did he become so fuzzy?

Your hand squeezed where it was hooked onto his bicep in an attempt to stop the inevitable, but, unfortunately, before he could manage to reach for you, the room went dark.

Your eyes cracked open, a harsh light shining in them, and you squinted against it.

"Hey, you with us?" A blonde man you didn't recognize stared down at you, a stethoscope around his neck and gloves on his hands.

A paramedic. Amazing.

When you looked around, you realized you were on a gurney, sitting in the back of an ambulance with the doors open, in the parking lot of the venue. It was the paramedic that was on call at the theater that night.

"Ugh, no fucking way." You tried to sit up, but a hand pressed onto your shoulder. You shifted your eyes to see Isobel sitting on the bench next to the stretcher. "Iz? What happened?"

The EMT spoke for her, putting his light back in his shirt pocket, and began moving his fingers back and forth in front of your face for you to follow.

"Well, you passed out, and cracked your head on the floor pretty good." You squeezed your eyes closed in frustration. "Big guy in there told us you hit your head earlier, too? That's probably what caused you to faint."

Yeah. Big, dumb, gargantuan guy.

"My head hurts." You winced as the medic turned your neck, checking your range of motion.

"I'm sure it does. You're all intact, it appears, but given that this was the second impact today, I strongly suggest going to the ER to get a scan."

You rolled your eyes, trying again to sit up. "I don't think-"

Isobel cut you off. "We're going."

The EMT nodded, and reached to begin shutting the doors. Admitting defeat, you carefully laid your head back down. The vehicle started moving and you let out a hard breath.

"We're so not getting paid for tonight."

Iz laughed, shaking her head. "I think it'll be fine. Noah was in a near panic attack when he moved you to the couch. Kept saying it was all his fault."

You snickered. "Kind of is."

"He wanted to cancel the rest of the show, but I told him you'd have a full stroke if he did that because of you."

Your eyes popped open, and you tried to sit up. "He didn't do that, did he?!"

The EMT pressed you back down. "Easy, easy."

Isobel patted your shoulder. "No, he didn't."

You melted back onto the bed. "Oh thank fuck for that."

The ride to the Emergency Room was short, and the nurses made quick work of getting you into a rollable bed and carting you off to get a CT scan of your head and neck. That was mundane, but they had given you something decent for the pain, so it wasn't so bad. You hummed to yourself as you were rolled back to your room, and Isobel was missing. You whipped your head around, looking to see if she was anywhere to be found, but a voice came from the opposite side.

"She went to get a snack."

Noah stood by the doorway, hands in the pockets of his cargo pants, white t-shirt on, and a beanie over his hair. He had cleaned up since the show, you could tell.

"The show is over already?"

He huffed out a laugh, stepping over to the end of your bed. "Yeah, for a little while now. You've been at the hospital for two hours."

You raised your eyebrows, but it didn't phase you too much. "Time flies when you're on morphine, I suppose."

His hands gripped the rails at the end of the bed. "How you doing?"

You nodded, sinking against the mattress. "I mean, I've been better, but I've been worse."

He lifted an eyebrow at you, and moved to perch himself on the very edge of the end of the bed. "Yeah? That's...better than nothing?"

You nodded, looking him up and down. He looked more like himself in this outfit, and you liked it. It felt more genuine.

"How did the rest of the show go?"

He shrugged his shoulders, hands still in his pockets. "Good, I guess. I was stressed, so I felt like I kind of rushed through it."

You brought your arms up behind your head, getting comfortable. "You shouldn't have. I'm good."

Noah deadpanned at you. "Obviously you weren't. You should've gone to the hospital earlier."

You scoffed. "Oh well. Doesn't matter now."

He was leaned over, his shoulder pulled in and he looked nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"What?" He looked bewildered.

"You look upset or something?"

He snickered, readjusting his feet on the floor. "Well, I gave you a concussion, couldn't convince you to get checked out and agreed not to tell anyone, which led to you getting an even worse concussion, and you're now potentially bleeding into your brain... That's probably got something to do with it."

You waved a hand at him. "Details. It's not a big deal."

He shook his head, looking at the wall adjacent from him and not at you. "This is not how I pictured us getting to meet."

This interested you, so you probed. "You pictured us meeting?"

He smirked. "We talked for a couple years, Cross. Of course I did."

"And how was that supposed to go?" High or not, you were curious.

He chuckled, still not looking at you. "Not like this."

You rolled your eyes. "Well, duh. But what did you expect?"

"I don't know. Something normal? Hanging at a movie or getting food? Like normal people?"

You cackled. "Well, you're not normal, Noah."

"Clearly." He said through grit teeth.

Leaning back again, you relaxed, and pursed your lips. "Were you trying to flirt with me earlier?"

You could tell this caught him by surprise, as he began looking nervous again. "What do you mean?"

"Well, either your were trying to flirt, or you actually gave me a concussion just to get my phone number."

He bit back a laugh, looking at you sheepishly. "Yeah, no that wasn't on purpose. Just a bad joke."

"Well, you could've just asked for my number, is all I'm saying."

He shook with soft laughter. "Noted." He stood then, turning toward the doorway where Isobel could be seen coming down the hallway. "Well, I mostly wanted to make sure you were okay. I should go."

Something about that didn't feel right to you, and you sat up a little quickly, your brain sloshing slightly in your skull, but you ignored it.

"You're leaving?" In your inebriated mind, you pictured yourself looking silly and desperate, but your logic knew that likely was just the drugs talking.

“Yeah, well, you don’t need a disaster magnet hanging around.” He said looking timid.

Isobel had joined you back in the bedroom, and was turning to look between the both of you.

“Everything okay?” She stared at Noah, and he reached a hand to palm the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I was just getting ready to head out.”

Your mouth moved before you could stop it. “No he wasn’t.”

Both of their heads snapped to look up at you, and he looked so puzzled. “No?”

You shook your head, soft smile adorning your face. “No, not unless you have somewhere to be.”

Isobel picked up on the tension in the room and made a show to look at her smart watch.

“Oh damn, look at that, I’m getting a call. Be right back.”

She slipped from the room and Noah focused his stare back on you.

“You want me to stay?”

You nodded, crossing your legs in front of you and sitting straight.

“That could be hazardous, you know?” He joked, but rounded back around by the bed, sitting a little closer to you on the edge.

“I don’t care.”

It took what felt like forever for the doctor to finally enter the room, interrupting yours and Noah’s game of hot hands you were playing while Iz sat in a chair on the side, chatting idly about the next gig she had booked for Motionless in White.

“Ah, I see your coordination is no issue.” The doctor spoke right as your hand came down to slap the back of Noah’s hard, forcing him to pull away hastily and hiss in pain.

You giggled, and turned to face the physician. “How’s my head?” He looked down at his paperwork, nodding in approval. Noah moved off the bed so the doctor could come around and shine a light at your eyes for the hundredth time.

“Looks good. No bleeds, no fractures. You shouldn’t have any lasting side effects aside from some headaches for a few days.” You smiled and glanced at Noah, seeing the physical relief he breathed out.

“You need to follow up with a neurologist in one week, and you need to stay in bed for at least five days.”

You grunted in disapproval. “That sucks.”

He sucked his teeth. “I know, but it’s just a precaution. Do you live with someone? Parents? Roommate? Boyfriend?”

If Noah were a dog, his ears would have been perking at that last word.

You shook your head. “Just me.”

He shrugged. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone. Can you stay with someone until you can go to the neurologist?”

I sunk down. “Not really? I have a cat that needs to be looked after.”

“I can come stay with you.” Isobel spoke up from her side of the bed, and I smiled at her appreciatively.

“Okay, good. I think I can get you out of here, then. No blood thinners for a few days, just Tylenol for pain. You experience any odd symptoms or pain that’s unbearable, you come straight back, yes?”

You nodded, and he smiled.

“Great, I’ll put in for the discharge.”

You turned to look at her, reaching out for her to take your hand. “You didn’t have to do that, Iz.”

She smirked. “Someone has to.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Can we just stop by my place? I’ve got a couple things I need to do, it’ll take a couple hours, probably. Or I can drop you off and head back over?”

“She shouldn’t be alone, though, right?” Noah piped up from where he stood on the opposing side of the bed.

You sighed. “I’m so tired though. I want to go home and get in my sweats.”

He pursed his lips, mind working while looking at your face, before glancing back up to Isobel.

“Why don’t I take her home, and I can hang with her till you get there? That way you can do what you need to, but she can go home and get comfortable?”

Isobel eyed you, wanting to hear your thoughts on it before she answered. You just shrugged in response, and she slowly tore her eyes off of you to look back at Noah.

“Alright, but be careful driving her home.” She smiled in a patronizing fashion. “You can understand my hesitation after today.”

He clenched his jaw, knowing exactly what she meant, and looked back down at you. You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze.

His eyes fell back to Iz, that sternness returning in his tone.

“I‘ll be careful.”

The drive back to your apartment was silent, the air hanging with uncertainty. The only sound above the whir of the motor was you giving directions to your place, and Noah humming his understanding.

It took until you were over halfway there for him to look at you, eyes looking sad.

“Feel like the morphine’s wearing off?”

You were rubbing at your temples, and you snorted. “How could you tell?”

He smirked. “I’m so sorry.”

You groaned. “Noah, if you apologize one more time, I’m going to slap you.”

He sucked his lips in and looked back out the windshield.

“It wasn’t your fault, it happens.”

His knuckles flexed on the steering wheel and he inhaled a long breath. "It's actually, technically, one hundred percent my fault." He admitted, gritting his teeth.

He pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex, and his vehicle came to a stop just outside of your building.

"I don't suppose you live on the first floor?" He chanced, but you shook your head.

"Third." He looked like he was about to start stressing, but you smiled. "There's an elevator."

This made him relax back in his seat before he stepped out, moving quickly to your side and letting you out.

He carried your bag and sweater in his arms as you led up to the elevator, and down the hall to your small one-bedroom apartment. Once inside, your white, short-haired cat bound up to you both, meowing with fervor.

Noah looked down at her, and back up to you. You reached down and scooped up her small body with one hand, holding her to your chest.

"Noah, this is Narcissa."

He smiled, petting her head with one finger, which she accepted graciously.

"She's probably starving, I'd better feed her." Before you could move toward the kitchen, he put a hand on your arm.

"Let me. Where's her food?"

You pointed him in the right direction, taking the moment to head into your bedroom, kicking your shoes off and reaching for a t-shirt from the closet and a pair of shorts from the drawer of your long dresser. He appeared in the doorway right after you had slipped the shirt over your head, and he leaned against the frame.

"She's fed. Anything I can get you?"

You panned around the room, thinking for a moment. "I've got some chips and salsa in the kitchen. Chips in the pantry and salsa in the fridge. Want to grab it and meet me in the living room?"

He nodded, heading to complete his task. You padded over to the couch, dropping down onto the soft cushions, and pulled your sofa blanket over you. He joined you after a moment, setting the food on the coffee table, your phone next to it.

"Thought you'd want that."

He sat and watched the television as you flipped through Hulu, looking for something to watch. You could feel how uncomfortable he was, trying so hard to keep a wide distance from you, likely so as not to hurt you.

"Noah?"

He looked over, eyebrows raised. "Hmm?"

You made a show of relaxing back on the couch, and motioned for him to do the same. "Take a breath. I'm fine."

He tried, leaning back and exhaling loudly. "You okay with Evil Dead? It's one of my favorites."

"Sure. I've seen it a couple times."

You sat back, now munching on some chips, and offered him the bag. He grabbed some, crunching on them loudly.

The movie played, but you could feel how, as he finally did begin to relax, he was moving somewhat closer to you. It was fascinating. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it was almost as if he was a magnet, and you were the pole it attached to.

"Can I ask you a question?" He looked over at you, listening. "Why did you go dark?"

You could see he was baffled by the so off-topic ask, and he took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Uh," He looked back at you. "A lot of reasons, really."

"Mm." You nodded, setting the chips back on the table. "Why did you go dark on me?"

This caught his complete attention, and his body turned to face you. "What?"

"You didn't even say bye or anything. You just...stopped coming online. And I had no way to reach out."

He furrowed his brow. "I'm a little surprised you wanted to, Cross."

"Why?"

He made a noise that sounded nearly annoyed. "Well, you never wanted to talk on a call. You never showed your face. You wouldn't even tell me your real name."

Guilt sunk in to your gut, reminding you that he was absolutely right.

"I just figured you weren't interested in maintaining the friendship beyond what it was, so I didn't think about it."

You nodded, understanding. There was nothing wrong with it, but it still sort of hurt your feelings.

"I get it. I was just curious."

"Why didn't you ever reach out?"

You opened your mouth to respond, but had to stop, because you realized...you didn't know. There wasn't a clear, concise reason why. Maybe you liked the idea of Noah being just an idea? A friend? Someone who didn't know you, and all that came with? Maybe it made it easier to feel safe talking to him?

He noticed you were uncomfortable with the conversation, and waved it off. "It doesn't matter now."

You had to agree with that. It wasn't going to change anything.

"Well, let's just watch the movie and you can rest."

You leaned back on the couch, and it wasn't lost on you that Noah was slowly scooting closer still, only now, you were pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. The room felt warm, and you adjusted under the blanket to kick a leg out, it being pressed against his. His eyes darted down to where you had touched him, and back up to your face. You kept your eyes straight ahead, smirking at the situation.

He leaned forward, pulling his beanie off and running his hand through his hair. "Is it warm in here?"

You smiled, just dropping your shoulders. He leaned back, and tried so desperately to smoothly slip an arm on the back of the couch, stretching at the same time.

He wasn't actually doing this, was he?

He was adorable, despite how absolutely ridiculous he was. He was nervous, and you knew that, but you worked overtime to hide your amusement, just shifting so you were pressed into his side.

His hand hesitated on the back of the couch, twitching as if he wanted to just wrap it around your shoulders, your head now resting on his chest.

You sighed loudly. "Noah, just put your arm around me."

"Yup." He gripped you, and adjusted to curl into him closer, leg falling over his. You giggled at him, and he pressed his face into the top of your head, embarrassed. "Clearly, I'm not good at this."

The movie played on, and at the scarier parts, you gripped his shirt tightly. You weren't very spooked, but it was what you did when snuggling on the couch with a cute boy, so you just went with it.

"Cross?" His voice was small, and you pressed in closer to hear him better.

"Hmm?"

"I really want to kiss you, but I'm kind of," He cleared his throat. "afraid?"

You scrunched up your nose and lifted your face to look at him. "Afraid?" His eyes were so big and doe-like, it pulled at something in your chest.

"Yeah, after all that's happened today? What if I miss and...I don't know...break your nose, or something?"

It took a second, but your face broke out in a large grin and you started laughing like a hyena. It was so absurd.

"What?!"

You had to take a breath, the ache in your head beginning to throb a little harder with your labored breathing. "I'm sorry!" You squeaked out, trying to contain yourself.

"Is it that hard to believe?"

You shook your head. "It's not." You could barely hold the giggles in. "That's why it's so funny."

He narrowed his eyes, pulling his arm from where it was wrapped around your back, but you pushed in closer, finally halting your laughing and looked at him.

"Noah," You lifted one hand to press your palm against his cheek. "if you want to kiss me, just do it."

His eyes flipped between both of yours, considering, before he leaned in and you closed your eyes.

Problem is, so did he...

His top teeth collided into yours making a harsh clacking sound, and causing you both to pull away hastily.

"God damn it!" His hand pressed into his gums, and he stared at you. "Are you okay?" You were laughing again, and he growled. "Maybe we should just not even try."

The tears in your eyes glistened, making him look glittery in your vision, and you just smiled brightly at him.

"Fucking hell, Noah."

You lifted yourself up, grabbing his face, and pressing your mouth to his, this time without incident. Your lips molded to his, and you felt him let out a breath he had been holding. His hands cautiously grabbed you, gently moving you to position so you straddled him, lips not disconnecting as he did.

Your hands gripped his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. Your lips went to work laying featherlike kisses on the soft skin when you heard his voice.

"Uhm, Cross?" He was out of breath, and his chest was heaving. "We probably shouldn't do anything too crazy, on account of the concussion." His voice sounded unconvinced, but still, you pulled back, raising an eyebrow at him.

"My brain is fine. Now, let me have some fun, for fucking once."

His fingers dug into your sides, and your tongue was tracing his tattoos on the side of his throat.

"B-But, I really don't know if we should. The doctor said-"

You pulled back again, this time becoming annoyed. "The doctor said I needed to stay in bed. This counts."

"Okay, but, what if it makes it worse?"

You deflated a bit, hands falling down onto your lap. "Do you not want to do this?" Your voice had cracked just slightly, and you silently cursed yourself for it.

His eyes bulged, and he grabbed you harder. "No, I do! I really, really do. I just don't want to hurt you."

Even with the concern and empathy in his voice, you couldn't help but grind down onto his hips, noticing his pants were significantly tighter, and pull a moan straight out of his chest.

"You won't Noah. At least, not in a bad way." You wiggled your brows at him and gripped the sides of his neck.

He looked confused. "Is there a good way?" Incredulously, you dropped your forehead on his chest, his mind catching up a second later. "Oh! Oh right! Sorry, I don't know where my mind is right now."

You just kissed him again, tired of talking - or whatever that was - about it. Noah lifted his hips to push into you, which was the first thing he had done right all evening. You felt his erection beneath the layers of fabric between you, the friction delicious against your crotch. This time, he began placing soft kisses on your neck, barely touching the skin and teasing you.

His fingers loosened around your hips and wandered up to your shirt, slipping underneath and goosebumps rose on your skin where he touched. His hands found your breasts and took them in handfuls.

You couldn't help but giggle at the memory that flashed through your head, which caused him to look up at you.

"What?"

You smiled down at him. "Nothing, it's just that you grabbed my chest earlier when you tried to catch me. I was just thinking, I like this better."

He sighed, his head falling back. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that."

You kissed him again, pressing back down on him, and regaining his attention.

"Noah?" His eyes looked at yours, his body now rhythmically pressing into you. "Fuck me? Please?"

You didn't mean to sound quite so needy, but it just came out that way. You were aching so bad for it, and you felt as if he didn't slip inside you soon, you may explode.

His eyes darkened, and he smiled back at you, his arms flexing around your waist and lifting you gently to lay you down on the couch. Hands making quick work of your shorts, pulling them off and staring at you. You may have forgotten to put panties on when you changed earlier, so he was marveling at the sight in front of him.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips before he pulled his own pants and boxers down, exposing his cock. You were impressed. Where Noah lacked grace and technique, he made up elsewhere. He slipped his hand into his pocket, fishing his wallet out. He located the condom quickly and applied it, giving himself a few long strokes as his free hand slid down your stomach, fingertips running through your folds for a second.

"You're sure it won't hurt you?" His mouth was hung open, and you rolled your eyes in response.

You reached your arms up, grabbing at him and pulling him down toward you. He fell forward with you, and his hand came down hard on the edge of the coffee table by mistake. He pulled it back, yelping.

"Fuck!" He shook out his hand, and you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you.

"It's okay. Just look at me." Doing as he was told, his dick pressed against your entrance, nudging for approval.

You rocked your hips up, assisting him as he slipped partially inside of you. The stretch burned incredibly, your eyes rolling back with it.

"Oh, wow." Your words were just breaths, arms wrapping around his neck. "T-That's...wow."

Noah's hips pulled back before snapping forward, driving into you with force. Your body shook with the feeling, clenching down around him. His lips were pressing kisses into the skin on your jaw and collarbone, adding to the lovely sensation.

"Holy fuck, Noah." You lifted your legs to lock around his waist, pushing your hips up. "Harder."

He rammed your body into the cushions, the back of the couch smacking the wall loudly.

"J-Jesus. So good." His words were so quiet, you almost didn't hear. His face was buried in your neck, sweat forming in his hair. "You're so tight."

His whispers were pushing you off the edge. "Ugh, keep talking to me." Your hands gripped his hair, pulling at the roots.

"Fucking can't take it, it's so good. So perfect. So wet." He was railing you so hard, you felt as though you may cry from the sensation. "Just want to stay buried inside you all night, baby."

His words came out so softly, so soothingly that you let your body relax and let go, orgasm ready to tip.

That is, until...

"Ow..." It was almost silent. "Oww..." That was louder. "Ow! Ouch! Fuck!" He sat up suddenly, falling back on the couch.

You sat up, your head still spinning. "What's wrong?!" Your hands wandered over him, but he lifted his leg up on the couch, gripping his calf.

"Fucking leg cramp." His fingers pressed into the visibly tight muscle, and you fell backward, orgasm officially lost.

"I'm sorry!" He tried to reach for you, but you lifted your head, shooting him a warning glance. He pulled back, face turning a deep shade of red.

His cock, however, was stood at full attention still.

Rolling your tongue around in your mouth, you swung your legs off the couch and stood. You pointed to the cushions, and demanded him. "Lay down."

Without hesitation, he did as he was told, laying flat on his back, and stared at you longingly.

Wasting no time, you sat down, sliding onto him with ease now that you'd had a chance to adjust. The angle made you feel so full, so satiated. You let out a long, comfortable moan.

His hands grabbed you, and you began to rock back and forth, begging to chase that lost climax. He peered up at you through half-masked lids, fingers gripping your thighs now.

"Is that better, baby?" You nodded, fingernails scratching down his chest. "Going to come this way? Make a mess all over me?"

Just like Noah was on stage, when he was fucking, he liked to be in control. He was good at it, too.

You nodded, pressing your clit into the skin of his pubic bone. The friction combined with the pressure he was putting on that spot inside you had your thrusts more erratic.

"Can't last like this, honey. You're going to make me come if you keep riding me so fucking good."

His hips were rocking up into you, finding the wave you were riding and helping it wash over you.

"Noah..." You whimpered, hands digging into the skin of his sides. "I'm going to come."

"Yeah, baby, come for me."

His voice, so deep, raspy, sultry, shoved you over that edge, your body slowing down and spasming around him. His hips only had to buck up two more times before he was groaning, leaving fingerprint bruises in your thighs.

You both stayed still, breathing heavily, staring at each other. A grin creeped up onto your face slowly, a matching expression on his.

Both lost in your own universe, neither of you had heard the front door unlocking...

"Hey! I got finished quicker than I expected, so I-"

Both of your heads whipped to the front door, where Isobel had stepped in, duffel bag on her arm and food bags in the other.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" She turn around, covering her eyes with her hand. "What the fuck!"

You and Noah promptly jumped together, scrambling to right yourselves. He pulled at his pants that were still wrapped around his ankles, and you grabbed the blanket from the couch. He sat upright on the sofa, and you pressed against him, pulling the blanket over yourself.

Mortified, you both waited for her to turn around, which she did, eventually.

"Sorry about that, Iz." You said as you interlaced your fingers with Noah's, who was using his other hand to fully cover his face in humiliation.

"Not what I was expecting to see today!" She squealed, walking past the couch toward the kitchen. "I have food, you fucking pervs."

Once she had left the living room, you and Noah looked up at each other, both blushing furiously at having been caught in the act.

Even with the added mishap, you both broke out into large, shining smiles, laughing at the situation.

What a fucking doofus.

[staytiny-dreams]

dating streamer! beomgyu (c.bg x reader)

pairing: choi beomgyu x gn! reader

genre: streamer! au, fluff, tiny bit of angst but not really

warnings: some parts focus on covid-19 pandemic if that's a trigger for you, i think that's all but lemme know if you think i missed anything

wc: 3.4k

note: so tired at 3am i accidentally hit the post button when it wasn't ready so if you've already seen this, no you haven't. i'm unsure how it turned out so let me know, i've also never formatted it like this before so any feedback on that lemme know too, and... look forward to the other members versions <33

squeals leave beomgyu as the tension rises, the anticipation of the jumpscare he knows is coming getting the better of him

the chat speeds by

“i thought you were supposed to be good at horror games”

“what happened to beomgyu has no fear”

“we told you you should play fnaf beomie!”

“took you this long to play fnaf?”

beomgyu whines at all the ‘i told you so’ comments

“come on guyssss im so late to this how am i supposed to know you’d be interest-” he cuts himself off with a guttural scream as freddy finally makes his long awaited appearance

seeing the bamtoris laughing at him in the comments he pouts at them

“chat you distracted me okay, i let my guard down because of you!”

his pc pings with a notification and the text to speech reads out “themarcotoyourpolo says ‘HAH you are such a liar beom you would’ve screamed either way’”

when beomgyu was seventeen, he spent his time like every other teenage boy did

playing video games

but sometimes his best friend would come over and he’d pull himself away for a few hours

only to sit with you and watch streamers play other games

honestly you didn't mind when beomgyu played games when you were over

he was entertaining to watch

really entertaining actually

“hey gyu, don't you think you’d be a good streamer?” you suggested one day jokingly.

you both giggled at the little game of ‘yes and’ that followed, planning out an entire future together where beomgyu was rich and famous, and you lived in a mansion together that was just a haven for video games and your friends, but after your little tangent, the thought was dismissed as quickly as it came.

or so you had thought.

a week later, sitting across from each other at the cheapest your favourite restaurant in town, beomgyu brought it back up again.

“do you really think i’d make a good streamer?”

“why are you actually thinking about it?” you snorted, taking a sip of your water thinking he was joking again, but when beomgyu didn't say anything you tilted your head up at him.

“oh shit are you actually thinking about it?” beomgyu gave a noncommittal shrug and picked at his food, staring down at his plate. he refused to look at you until you knocked the table in front of his plate lightly.

“beomie,” you started as he stared at you with wide eyes, “i could watch you play for hours.” you don't think you could ever forget the way his smile took over his face at your words.

and that led to the next few months spent with you and beomgyu on call for hours a day

playing mostly minecraft together although occasionally he’d branch out to other games

you hit all his milestones together

he still remembers the day you first got a double digit view count

excitement flooded through the both of you as the kind soul who raided you spams your comment section

the same day, beomgyu also hit ten followers, prompting you two to make his discord server

whenever you were too busy to join him on stream beomgyu would whine and complain like his life depended on it

more often than not he’d actually end up cancelling the stream for that day

one day you didn't feel well but you decided to sit on call with beomgyu while he streams so that he wouldn't cancel

beomgyu chattered on as he normally does, yelling about how, “beomgyu never dies,” but he noticed that today you were not reciprocating that same energy.

in fact you had been so quiet that he wasn't even sure you were still alive on the other side.

“(y/n)ie are you alive over there? (y/n)? marco?” he asked and ever so faintly he heard a weak ‘polo’ sound throughout his headphones.

“one moment, chat,” he said to his 20 something viewers before deafening on discord and muting his mic.

he wriggled his phone out from where it hid in his pocket, opened your contact and called you. it dialled almost four times before you picked up.

“i’m so sorry, beomie i fell asleep. i really didn't mean to but i-” he cut you off before you could go on.

“are you okay (y/n)ie?”

“to be honest beom, i don't feel very well i-” cutting you off again, beomgyu announced that he would be coming over to cure you before promptly hanging up and ending stream leaving both you and his chatters confused.

turns out, curing you meant bringing you his mothers soup and watching youtube in bed with you until you fell asleep. your burning forehead left patches of sweat on his chest, but he couldn't find it in him to care.

from then on you had a system in place where you would check if the other was still there by calling out “marco”

and if the other person was okay they’d call back “polo”

sometimes you regretted this system on days beomgyu decided you were too quiet and abused the marco-polo system by continually calling out marco like a broken record

a little while after beomgyu turned eighteen, the pandemic started and so followed lockdown

it was a really hard time for beomgyu

you were supposed to be starting college together that year, along with your close friends from high school soobin and taehyun

but now all classes were online and he wasn't allowed to see any of his friends

going from seeing you everyday to never took a toll on beomgyu that he didn't expect

he just hated knowing you were only a few streets away and he couldn't just walk over to you whenever he felt like it

beomie :>: are you looking at the moon rn and wondering if i’m also looking at the moon rn?

ynnie <3: beom we called for six hours today

beomie :>: i know right, i miss you too :((

ynnie <3: omg fine get back on disc lets watch a movie

but with his ray of sunshine by his side, he eventually found his footing in this apocalypse

a lot of his time was spent on call with you

working on your respective assignments

watching your online lectures on 2x speed

any other free time was spent streaming

since everyone was stuck at home, due to his frequent streaming schedule

and infectious energy

beomgyu’s audience quickly grew

going from 1000 followers when lockdown had started to hitting 3000 followers within a few months

taking your advice, he also became more active on his other social medias

even posting clips of his streams on tiktok

a few of which went viral causing his channel to grow substantially again

he also started a youtube channel for those shorter games

or ideas that required more editing to execute than a stream would allow

one day, while checking his twitter dms his eyes almost fell out of his skull

he dialled you immediately

“(y/n) (y/n) (y/n) (y/n) (y/n) (y/n)!”

you took a deep breath in, prepared to repeat his name back to him in the same tone, but you didn't get the chance.

“do not copy me, we do not have time for that, this is a code blue, (y/n), code blue!”

“what on earth is a code blue?”

“big creator dmed me (y/n), come on, we’ve discussed this!”

“we’ve never discussed a code system in our entire life.”

“what that is such a lie, you just never listen to a word i say!”

“well sorry beomgyu if you talk so much nonsense that it's hard to keep up,”

“nonsense? you take that back!” he screeched, but you could only giggle at him.

“i will literally never do that. come on gyu, what’s the code blue?”

“oh, yeah! j-hope messaged me (y/n). he asked if i wanted to join his friends' discord and play among us with them.” you squealed for him, excitement rushing through you.

“oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! beomgyu, what did you say?” suddenly beomgyu felt sheepish, realising he’d just been sitting there with the message open, too busy bickering with you to have responded.

“oh um… well, nothing yet i called you first…” now this time you screeched.

“you left 20 million youtube subscribers, 1.5 million twitch followers jung ho-seok on seen? beomgyu!” you scolded. beomgyu didn't know whether to be afraid or laugh, but his endearment got the better of him and he burst into giggles at your tone.

“don't laugh at me mister, text him back right now and tell him you’d be honoured to play with them!” and as he began to type out a reply to his senior, all beomgyu could think about was how he couldn't wait to have you in his arms again.

joining such big creators in playing among us put beomgyu in contact with even more big creators and had his channel blowing up

he met many new friends including someone who would become one of his closest friends

huening kai

as covid restrictions were eased and tightened again, beomgyu made sure to see you any time he could

but due to social distancing laws, he wasn't able to tackle you in his affection the way he wished

at the end of 2020 the second wave of covid set in

your anxious mother decided that you were not allowed to leave the house until the pandemic was over

beomgyu struggled with this news

his weekly outings walking six feet away from you - but still with you - were helping him hold on to his ray of sunshine

but with your assurance that you'd spend even more time on call with him and watch all his streams, he was able to keep his mood-maker demeanour in front of his fans

“so what are your plans for valentine’s day, (y/n)?” beomgyu asked, already knowing your answer.

with february 14th approaching, beomgyu was kicking himself for not having said anything sooner because your mother still wasn't letting you out of the house and beomgyu wanted to say what he had to say in person

“what do you mean gyu? you know i’ll still be stuck at home.”

“hm… well, maybe we could do a minecraft date, like a valentine's day special.” he suggested tentatively.

“like for your stream?” you asked and he shrugged.

“we don't have to stream.”

“but beom, aren't our friends all having dinner at soobin’s that day? don't you want to join them?” you reminded him and he simply shrugged again.

“don’t want to leave you all alone on valentines day (y/n)ie.” your face felt hot. you loved your mother to pieces, but sometimes her self imposed covid restrictions really got on your nerves.

and then march came, and for the first time in twelve years you feared you wouldn't be able to spend beomgyu’s birthday with him

“mum please, i’ll do anything,” you begged, “legally four people are allowed at an indoor private gathering.”

“and what if someone there has covid (y/n)? you have asthma it could really affect you!”

“it’s only going to be gyu, soobin and taehyun. you know all of them, you trust them! plus we’re all going to test before we go!”

“and what about transport, (y/n), what if you catch it on the bus?”

“i’ll take a taxi.”

“and what if the taxi driver has it? or what if you get in the car with a bad driver or a kidnapper?”

“mum! where is all this coming from? please. it’s beomgyu’s birthday, i can't miss beomgyu’s birthday. i swear i will never ask to go out again. just please let me go see him tomorrow.” tears welled up in your eyes. you hated fighting with your mother, but you couldn't let beomgyu down like that.

but the fight was all worth it when you knocked on soobin’s door the next night and beomgyu opened it.

he pulled you inside and slammed the door shut before squeezing you tight to his chest.

“you're here?” he asked, voice muffled as it was buried in your shoulder.

“happy birthday beom,” you smiled, arms tight around his stomach.

he pulled away from your hug and before you could joke about how your mother would never let you see the light of day again, beomgyu pulled down your mask and pressed his lips to yours.

two seconds passed where you stood still, wide eyed in shock before you registered what was happening and jumped into action.

one of his hands still held your mask, and the other came down to your cheek which you’re sure must’ve been burning him from how hot your face felt. you followed his lead, grabbing his shoulder with one hand and pushing your other through the hair at the bottom of his neck.

too soon, beomgyu pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“i’m sorry (y/n). i wanted to wait, until after lockdown, i wanted to talk to you first but i saw you and i just-”

“i love you beomgyu.” you cut off his rambling and he let out a flustered laugh.

“i love you too (y/n), i love you so much.”

due to covid still ongoing and your mother’s strict rules, you and beomgyu decided to take things slow after that night

there were no more meetings in person as you kept your promise to your mother

nothing much in your relationship with beomgyu changed due to your agreement to take things slow

he flirted a little here and there but there were no new pet names or anything of the sort

beomgyu continued to focus his energy on streaming and you continued to focus on your studies

beomgyu’s streams always providing the perfect background noise

but don't tell him that you don't devote a thousand percent of your attention to him at all times

luckily as 2022 approached, your mother began to let beomgyu visit your home provided he wore a mask in common places and if he had any symptoms he did not come over

and in april 2022 most legal restrictions were lifted

with your second booster vaccination, your mother lifted your house arrest

it had been over a year since you confessed your feelings to each other and your 20th birthday approached

you both had a big discussion about giving your relationship a real try

beomgyu now had almost half a million followers on twitch

after grinding for two years, he now had a rather large fan base

you expressed that you were a bit worried about having your relationship public to them

beomgyu didn't quite understand your concern as you had been participating in his streams and been a prevalent figure on his social media since the beginning

however, respecting your wishes, you both worked to keep the romantic nature of your relationship between yourselves and your close friends.

while beomgyu seemed to have found his schtick after 3 years of streaming

playing horror games on stream and co-op games with you for his youtube channel

and the occasional vlog

the friends he had made playing among us, huening kai, ho-seok and jungkook had begged him to join a minecraft server and stream with them

so with your encouragement

and his conditions that his partner and best friends also join the server

beomgyu joined the bighit smp started by kim namjoon

it was only a few months after you officially started dating

just before his 21st birthday and both of your fourth and final years in college

when beomgyu came to you with his proposition

“move in together?”

“is it too soon? i know we've only technically been dating a few months, but-” you cut beomgyu off with a hand on his mouth.

he stared at you wide eyed for a split second before his expression changed. luckily, you recognised the suspicious sparkle in his eye and removed your hand from his face before he could lick it, leaving him pouting at you.

“don’t look at me like that,” you giggled but his pout only deepened and he reached over to grab the hand that was previously on his face.

“so? what do you think? you wanna live with me?”

“hmm… i think…”

“(y/n)…” he whined, dragging out your name.

“i think we’ll need to find a place with an extra bedroom, so you can stream in there and not in our room.”

living with a horror streamer

most days of the week it's fun

a substantial income

your boyfriend’s always home

your boyfriend is practically fearless… in theory

okay maybe he’s only fearless when it’s fictional media

even a little bit of clout, not that it matters to you

as you always have, you tend to join beomgyu and your other friends when they play minecraft in the bighit smp

as well as being in all of beomgyu’s vlogs

since you moved in together, you decided it was best to come clean to bamtoris (his fans) about your relationship

they were very supportive

due to your presence in his channel from the beginning, there were some long time shippers who were more than pleased to hear this news

and maybe a little cocky, plastering ‘i told you’ so posts all over their socials

yes, the beomy/n truthers were very pleased

of course there were those who were convinced he was dating other streamers

or those who shipped him with his other friends, soobin and taehyun

and just general psychos who simply hated you because he wasn't dating them

nevertheless you both saw the relationship reveal as a success

so sometimes you go and sit with beomgyu while he streams, just as you used to sit on call with him

but this particular wednesday night was a tough one

you’d been up late the night before working on your final project for college

then worked from 7 to 5 even though you were originally rostered for only 7 to 12

your head was pounding

and tonight, despite the soundproofing you had installed on the walls of the office

his shouts still reached your tired ears and made your head ache

you tossed and turned for a while, not wanting to ask beomgyu to quiet down as he was clearly having fun

but, after an hour of not being able to sleep you decided you were being stupid

beomgyu would never be upset with you for not feeling well

so you rolled out of bed, padded over to his door and knocked lightly, then cracked the door open

the light from the hall spilled into the room and caused beomgyu to look over at you with a smile

his hair was fluffy and his face was lit up by his screen and his purple leds and he just looked so soft

and before you could say anything, your face crumpled

and a few tears slipped down your cheeks

immediately muting his mic, beomgyu threw his headphones off and ran over to you at the door.

“baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, pulling you into his arms and you laughed at yourself.

“sorry, this is so stupid, i dont even know why im crying.” you mumble into his chest.

that night beomgyu ended his stream early and laid in bed with his arms wrapped tightly around you, whispering how much he loves you

and how whenever you wanted him to be quiet or even end stream he’d do it in a heartbeat

but, if you're not sick, busy or streaming with beomgyu, you're still watching his streams

and sending silly comments

you are simultaneously his favourite and least favourite chatter

your comments always make him laugh but are often at his expense

“themarcotoyourpolo says ‘poor baby, so scared of a big teddy bear’”

“you know what (y/n), get your ass in here, we'll put the headphones on you and see how confident you are then!”

but knowing you're in his chat has always given him comfort

and made him a smidge happier to be there

if beomgyu ever had zero viewers it'd be because you died and he knew that

even then if you ever wanted him to turn his computer off and hang out with you, he’d come running

at the end of the day, whether beomgyu’s screaming at his computer screen or peacefully cooking dinner with you, he is the love of your life and you wouldnt change a thing

[nipuni]

We went to see Phantom Madrid last weekend!! ❤️ Geronimo Rauch was amazing!! I'm going to write my thoughts on the whole performance under a cut for those interested 😊

I am going to be comparing it to the London version for reference since it's the only one I've seen live. I think my first impression was that It was better than I expected it to be! I read opinions about the Trieste production and I was a little worried but I found that I enjoyed a lot of the things I've seen being criticized.

The stage spinning around was awesome and added so much depth to scenes and made transitions very smooth. The backdrops were very nicely done!

As for costumes I think they were pretty good with the exception of Aminta's dress and the Masquerade costumes being kind of underwhelming.

The singing was good overall, although the translated lyrics are weird sometimes. The main songs translate well but some others become very confusing in Spanish, some wording seems forced and some notes are slightly altered to fit the phrases. Raoul is very calm and soft, maybe a little too much at times, Christine is very neutral and simple. Geronimo was amazing tho no notes!

Now the acting! I have opinions 😫 This show was very Christine and Raoul centric to such an extent that it flattened the plot for me 😬 Christine seems scared and disgusted from start to finish so there is no conflict in her character. She is never torn, she recoils from the phantom's touch during Music of the Night, and during Final Lair she sings the "pitiful creature of darkness" lines looking at Raoul the whole time backing away towards the phantom and steeling herself and only turns reluctantly at the last second to kiss Erik. She comes back to return his ring and just leaves it on the organ stool as soon as he turns around because she's scared to get close to him, when he sings "I love you" she shakes her head at him 🥹 like girl please give us something!!

Geronimo's phantom is a delight tho!! He whimpers, crawls, cries, screams, pants, it's great. He's acting his butt off and is the highlight of the show for me.

A thing that I really liked was in the end when the mob comes Erik is curled up in his bed crying and Madame Giry finds him there and tells him to hide under the covers and leads the mob away from him, I thought it was sweet and transitions into LND nicely.

OH also!! I really enjoyed the Phantom swinging on a rope across the stage during the ballet and Buquet's hanging, it's so good!! the flaming chandelier scene is also good!! in Final Lair they actually hang Raoul in the air which was very nice too! (and with his shirt still on) and even the angel wings and flying that I've seen people hating on was honestly so cool. It didn't look as goofy as I expected it to, it's very smooth and the lighting makes it scary, he casts thunder and flies!! the wings are not very visible since the scene is very dark. The light work was super good in general.

Masquerade and Don Juan were a bit of a let down, much simpler but not bad. I think my main issues were about the choices for Christine really 🤔 and I think some scenes needed more movement, especially the roof one (they couldn't move because they are sitting on a ledge)

The show in general feels a bit one note compared to the West End version but it was good!! I'm just nitpicky 😂 also I want Geronimo's autograph!! I love him 😭

Anyway if you want to see/hear more let me know on discord wink wonk 😁

[sophie-frm-mars]

I'm not sure how much people are talking about Aaron Bushnell having engaged with online leftist media, but the records show that they were a viewer of a bunch of different twitch streams, including mine, and subscribed to a bunch of patreons, including mine. I'm not going to inflate my importance here, the livestream link was sent directly to Talia Jane and Anark, so those are probably the voices Bushnell felt the most connected to and followed the most directly, like idk if they also subscribed to someone's patreon after watching a video abt Cars 2 or whatever, I'm not trying to examine whether social media drove the self immolation because I think that's disrespectful to the memory of someone who literally died screaming Free Palestine. I don't personally know of any leftist creators who directly advocate political suicide, and I know that we all share in the political understanding that underscored Bushnell's decision.

I've already made a point of telling my patreon server that my politics are about growing into each other and supporting one another and that if anyone asked me if I thought they should do what Bushnell did I would say no absolutely not.

I'm ruminating a bit on the nature and meaning of the protest, because a lot of people are engaging with the image of a man in fatigues on fire, standing proud and declaring "FREE PALESTINE", while I've seen others talking about the fact Bushnell's username on several platforms was LillyAnarKitty, mourning the loss of a potential trans sister, talking in depressive terms about the act of suicide, to which I think the people who are engaging in the more macho interpretation of the protest are saying "no it was cool and masculine, it wasn't suicide in the conventional sense it was about principle!" I think there's room for plenty of both. For the record LillyAnarKitty used he and she pronouns in discord servers.

Andreas Malm's approach to self-sacrifice and self-endangerment is that we as subjects of the imperial core are in a sense, precious. Valuable. We are supposedly what it is all for. The imperialist project must be doing it for the citizens of the imperialist nations because if it isn't, then it has to nakedly admit that it is doing it all for the intense power and wealth consolidation of a tiny tiny number of soulless ghouls. Therefore when we put ourselves in harm's way in a way that says you would have to destroy me to get to the thing I care about, we leverage the implicit value of ourselves for our principles. A planned protest by Palestine Action against the London Stock Exchange was allegedly going to involve locking the actionists' necks onto the mechanism of the door into the LSE making it impossible to enter or leave without probably killing them, for example. I think that Bushnell's self immolation sits on a sort of dissonance, my life is precious and my life is worthless. My life is precious and so you should care about the obvious tragedy that I am enacting and my life is worthless if thousands upon thousands of Palestinians are killed as part of the project that enables the life that I lead.

There is also the way that people have debated the meaning of "complicit in genocide" - Bushnell worked in USAF Intelligence and the US has active troops in Palestine, it's possible that they were already culpable in an unknowable number of deaths without having set foot there.

In one sense it's a little pointless to debate the fine details of the meaning of Bushnell's protest in the same way that it's pointless to pick over any feelings of responsibility that I and I know other people that we know they watched are feeling. When I first saw the video I was struck by the language, by their concise and astute analysis and I knew, without knowing just how closely that they were plugged into the same intellectual and political milieu as us. In that same sense I think that they already described what they did the best that any of us are going to be able to:

“My name is Aaron Bushnell. I am an active-duty member of the United States Air Force, and I will no longer be complicit in genocide.”

“I’m about to engage in an extreme act of protest. But compared to what people have been experiencing in Palestine at the hands of their colonizers, it’s not extreme at all. This is what our ruling class has decided will be normal.”

"Free Palestine."

[ippi2un]

do u have more streamer rafayel hcs?

YES!!!💯💯💯💯💯💯

Like I mentioned before he'd stream him playing games (half of it is horror cuz his reactions are entertaining)

He would also try out roblox 💯

But he would have arguments with the players like

Hes playing dress to impress (a fashion game thingy) and on the runway someone called his outfit trash in the chat

"lilyglows23: oh...this outfit is nawt it...😭"

"raf2cute: girl ik ure not talking...ur outfit look like u raided the clearance aisle😂😂..."

He ended up getting voicechat later😭

And he got banned cuz he kept cursing and arguing with others ♡

"This game was lame anyway."

And for some other streams, he would be like showing off his artwork and stuff🔥

He would also once in a while be like

"Hey chat! Today im forcing you to be productive. I will show you step by step on how to draw a *insert drawing idea here*" 😊

He would make a discord server and let people share their drawings too (if you dont know what discord is its just like a public chat thingy yea)

He would also react to the drawings on discord while streaming

The first couple weeks he starts reviewing and rating the drawings, he would be patient and nice and give reccomendations on how to improve the drawings people did

But when he realizes half of the drawings sent by the viewers are bad on purpose, he would FLAME them HARD💯💯💯💯

"Ive seen better doodles in bathroom stalls"

"Is that drawing supposed to be you or a sleep paralysis demon"

"This looks atrocious about to close this server down"

One time he ended a stream after he saw this drawing of him:

But for the good drawings he would obv praise it (or give even more tips on how to improve it♥️)

Once in a while he would have a small conversation with the viewers and he would be like

"Are you guys insane? Is everything at home okay? Why do you guys act like this?"

And its because of the crazy comments his fans put like

"omg when rafayel stood up and walked away i swear i saw that ass jiggle"

"RAFAYEL CLAP UR CHEEKS FOR US"

"rafayel scream at me like how u scream when u play horror games♡"

But he secretly lowk would be entertained by them😊💯💯💯

Overall he would be a fire streamer and I would def watch him😜😜😜

[britts-galaxy-brain]

I get going after a person that specifically groomed and abused you. (I think that’s what you’re stating happened?) I was also groomed as a child by people online in fandom spaces and I feel a lot of things about that including anger. But that’s the thing, my abusers were cis women. In the MLP fandom alone the entire “brony” dynamic was just so deeply fucked up in the way adults of all genders interacted with teenagers.

But you kept focusing on *specifically* and more or less *only* trans fems. Even if that was accidental in someway at first, this pattern is something that was possible for a reason. Transmisogyny within society makes it easier. Like Mio has literally nothing to do with Lily Orchard. Mio is questioning the way you and others have spent so much time and energy, combing through every aspects of many other trans women’s existence in an obsessive and upsetting way. A big part of transmisogyny is the immense scrutiny all trans fems live under, and you turned it up to 11. Offhanded and out of context screenshots that transmisogyny exempt people would be given the benefit of the doubt about, does not happen for trans women. When people fill in their own context they tend to fill it in ways that shape trans women into villain along the lines of transmisogynystic tropes. (Pedophilia accusations are a common one.)

This isn’t black and white. I don’t know everything so I can’t say where everyone you dug into exist within the gray. However you have to see the gray. You can block, you can say on your discord “hey maybe avoid this person”, there are so so so many steps before callouts need to happen if you think someone is gross or creepy. You don’t need to always need to elect yourself judge jury and executioner.

Are you fuckin serious? Have you been living under a rock??

So first off, you're saying it's my fault that the random ass predators who happened to stick their nose in this happened to be trans women. What am I supposed to do at that point? Ignore evidence of abuse toward minors just because of the demographic they fell into??

The one cis dude I had a run in with ages ago that got exposed for being a predator was in the process of being reported to the authorities before I knew he'd even done anything and not a damn soul was out here openly defending him and claiming calling out his grooming of an underage teenager was anything other than what it was. Same with Toonkritic. Now explain to me the double fucking standard I've had shoved in my face for YEARS now regarding literally any trans woman who has evidence of being predatory? They could outright STATE "I Am Attracted to Minors" (Poppy, Hypnotist Sappho, Patricia, Lily Orchard) and pointing out their own words INEVITABLY leads to a mob of obtuse reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny. They could openly and gleefully flirt with minors IN PUBLIC (Lily Orchard, Hypnotist Sappho) and pointing out that's fuckin predatory leads to the same mob of reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny. They could end up DATING THE MINORS THEY PUBLICLY GROOMED AS SOON AS THEY ARE LEGAL (Lily Orchard) and again the same reactionary fucks screaming about transmisogyny.

I'm out of patience with it. You utter fucking malicious morons are indirectly conflating calling out BLATANTLY PREDATORY BEHAVIOR as being transmisogynistic. You are essentially implying that predatory behavior is an intrinsic part of being transgender and I DON'T THINK MOST TRANS PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY WITH THAT ASSERTION. I don't see this shit on anywhere near the same level when it's cis people getting exposed. Cis women predators often pull the misogyny card but it doesn't get them near as far as what I've seen with the transmisogyny angle.

You are doing SO much more fucking harm to the communities you pretend to care about by jumping to the defense of CHILD PREDATORS and trying to frame it as a transmisogyny issue.

Fuck. Off.

[slayerkitty]

BL Superlatives 2024

I knew I wanted to do a post for this, so I put out a request the last few days for people to put a few suggestions in my ask. I also asked some besties discord for suggestions as well.

Best Performance by a Road (submitted by @lurkingshan): Shan. The journey I went through when I read this. You don't know. I started giggling and I haven't stopped. Because first I was like... "by a Road?" and Road is capitalized. And I thought, did you mean OffRoad? And then I thought, no, surely they meant like... two characters having a moment on a road. Then I thought wait - do they mean like... THE ACTUAL ROAD? And I honestly couldn't decide which way I wanted to answer this, hence the giggling.

So.

You get all three, LMAO.

Best OffRoad Performance: Vee, Century of Love

Vee screaming in the stairwell at the news his grandma was going to die soon? I had chills. OffRoad let out a scream so guttural that I actually started crying and got goose bumps. I don't think this is that moment, but it's close enough.

Best Performance by a road: Shirasaki and Hayama from 25 Ji, Akasaka de (At 25:00 in Akasaka).

Hayama running after Shirasaki and them working out their miscommunication and confessing their feelings was peak BL for me this year.

Best Performance by a Road: The Hallows, Pit Babe.

This racetrack saw so much! Racing, accidents, sabotage, sex. This is one busy stretch of road.

Most daring plot? (Submitted by @toastofthetrashfire): 4 Minutes

The plot of 4 Minutes is kind of insane, where the bulk of the show takes plays during Great's "four minutes" - a period of time where his brain is lacking oxygen before he dies. It's wild. It's complicated. It's riveting.

Best Hallucinogenic Moment: Caged Again

Junior rings a gong and triggers some kind of hallucination for him and Sun, where they have a super important conversation about the state of their humanity and their hallucination is DEMONSTRATED AS A CARTOON in which they are their penguin and panther forms. It's as unhinged as it sounds and yet it was the most adorable hallucination I have ever seen. This show consistently delivers within it's premise even when it goes in unexpected ways.

Best Use of an Honorific: Jane, The Trainee

Jane wanted Ryan to tell him why Ryan was angry and switched his honorific from Khun to Phi. I actually caught this by ear myself at the time, without the subs, so my reaction was Ryan's reaction, about to lose our goddamn minds. And then Ryan wanting to use Phi for Jane from then on? I was so absolutely gone with them.

Show That Made Me Unhinged: Dead Friend Forever

This show. THIS SHOW. It hooked me with it's slasher premise. I called it "8 Stupid Teens in a Cabin" (affectionate). This show absolutely locked in it's chokehold with episode five and the flashbacks as we started to learn what actually happened to Non. I made meta round up posts (there are four of them) which I updated twice a week (I had help from @toastofthetrashfire) and absolutely did not spend hours analyzing things like back pack colors and school insignias. Needless to say, so much fun was had.

Cutest Animal Cameo (submitted by @toastofthetrashfire): Moo Deng, Caged Again

Moo Deng has long been ready for her TV debut and Caged Again was the first to step up.

Best Use of an Unexpected Prop (submitted by @benkaben): Clothes Pin, The Heart Killers

Presented without explanation, lmao.

Most Jaw-Dropping ZeeNunew Moment (Submitted by @toastofthetrashfire): THE BEHIND THE FAN KISS ON STAGE.

Best Smile That Can Knock You Out Cold (submitted by @tankhunmybeloved): Because you asked for it, lmao.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

The Wisdom Saga: My Thoughts

Hey all!!!! Here are my thoughts on the Wisdom Saga from EPIC: The Musical!

Overall it isn’t my favorite (Circe/Thunder my beloveds), but it’s still pretty good imho!

Legendary

Love how upbeat this one is. MICO as Telemachus is VERY good, and I especially liked the little trembles/voice cracks (?) as he sang! Gave Tem a “young” vibe.

also loved that “L-L-L-L-Legendary” lol

ITS THE ANIMATIC FROM THE REFERENCE VIDEO :D

The Suitors’ voices 👌 also ANTINUOUS JUMPSCARE. HOW DARE YOU CALL PENELOPE A TRAMP WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE TRYING TO GET INTO HER BED.

Antinuous’s lines are the perfect ick. The ToA Discord and I were all typing out various amounts of EW, ICKY, GET OUT at his parts.

Fight Little Wolf

This is possibly my favorite from this saga! I’ve been looking forward to this one for a while, and I was really excited for it! Athena coming in was brilliant and I love it :3

We’ll Be Fine

ATHENA CALLED ODYSSEUS FRIEND. OWIE.

Anybody else pick up on a similar melody to Open Arms? Because ow.

Love In Paradise

LOVED the flashbacks at the beginning!

The unhingedness Gigi gave Calypso LMAO Zero social interaction does that to you lol

“Last I checked goddesses can’t die!” Stream gets censored

I PANICKED AT THAT LMAO

all I hear are screams…the ptsd is real

“Stay in my open arms” and then IMMEDIATELY triggering an Open Arms reprise. HOW DARE YOU JAY.

NOT ONLY THAT. BUT ALSO EURYLOCUS REPRISING LUCK RUNS OUT AND ANTICLEA’S WAITING. OUCH.

God Games

This is in battle with Little Wolf for favorite Wisdom Saga song lol

THE INTRODUCTION TO THE GODS SLAPPED. WOLFY YOU WONDERFUL WOLF THAT WAS AWESOME.

APOLLO GIVING A LIL BOW AND CASUALLY WAVING TO (us) HIS ADORING FANS (also us)

don’t mind me fangirling he’s my favorite and he was GORGEOUS

Hephaestus being voiced by Jorge’s dad!!!!

I really liked how Luke Holt delivered Ares’s name. Very gritty and perfect I love <3

APOLLO’S LITTLE SMIRK WHEN HE SAYS “GREAT.” I’M DEAD I’VE DIED RIP ALDER

APOLLOOOOOOOOO

his part was sadly short, but honestly? It makes sense why it would be! Apollo really has no beef with Odysseus, and the Sirens are a little out of pocket, like he was assigned to play the game but is throwing Athena an easy thing to counter so he can get back to Orestes and also Athena owes him a solid so EPIC’s explanation for Athena helping Apollo in the Oresteia? 👀 I’m a nerd connecting the dots leave me be

“If that’s true then release him 🙄💅” Apollo has no time for this bullshit he’s like “come on dad why did you pull ME into this?” Lmaoooo

Hephaestus’s part about trust!! I love. Also the lyricism here and in Apollo’s is very very good <3

APHRODITE. Unlike Apollo and Hephaestus, who were rather quick to support Athena, she’s moments away from going “no ♥️💋”

ARES’S ENTRANCE WAS SPETACULAR NO NOTES I LOVE

DISCO HERA!! ANNIFLAMMA THAT WAS SO GOOD AHHHHHHH THE STYLE THE SWAG THE SASS 100/10

THUNDER BRINGER REPRISE AHHHHHH WITH BEAST MODE ZEUS

Also Athena ain’t dead lol she comes back in King isn’t it? Also she’s a GOD. Who CAN’T DIE.

I’ve seen criticism about Zeus attacking Athena, and about how he wouldn’t do that because she’s a favorite…but the thing is, in The Iliad, he does threaten to blast her and Hera off their chariots at one point…plus Apollo’s a favorite too, and he was nearly thrown into Tartarus by Zeus! Being the favorite doesn’t automatically mean you can get away with anything and everything, so I headcanon that Zeus got a bit more peeved than usual because of just how quickly Athena swayed the others (this can connect to the Odyssey then too, because the majority of the gods already agreed that Odysseus had suffered enough and were quite willing to let him go).

I have additional thoughts on God Games, but that’s for another post since it detracts from the actual livestream, but overall I really enjoyed this one! It’s the first livestream I’ve seen in full, though I do think Thunder Saga was more impactful to watch (I watched that livestream too, but came in at the end of No Longer You).

Two sagas to go!! I’ll be updating my tier list sometime soon as well, so stay tuned for that!!

[imlovewithpixels]

How does Quackity met you?

- Fem!Reader x Quackity little imagine

Pov: You became viral on TikTok for the wrong thing.

(( Remember that my request are OPEN - Spanish or English))

This is my first thing in english for the streamer community even if I see more content off the Hispanic Streamers

Also, If you like my work, check out my Masterlist . I need to update my fandoms <3

-  English is not my mother lenguaje, please be nice if I had any grammatical errors.

You were just streaming Minecraft. It was a pretty chill and cozy stream where you were decorating your mushroom house and talking with your chat. You had a little community in Spanish and English but your viewers were around 1k per stream. 

Your calm voice was accompanied by the background music on Minecraft while you were mumbling to a song that was stuck in your head since last week. 

And then you saw your Twitch display.

Quackity was on stream…¿he was going to play garthic phone? 

You NEEDED to see that. 

— Okay…ma babies, I will end this stream right here.— You said, laughing a little bit. 

A lot of comments started to pop up. “Why???” “noooo pliss :c” “I just started watching TT” “mi casitaaa, don't go” 

— Well…you know, Quackity …he…he just started a Spanish stream and I want to see it. — You whisper to the microphone fast. Your cheeks were red from embarrassment. “So, all of you should go. We have one rule in this place, "If mi casita is streaming, go to see it” After a silly tone of voice you smile at the camera and wave a little wave. “Babays”

“She had a crush on him, umm. Our mommy is gonna leave us. TT” A last-time donation came up in your scream and the robotic voice read it. You open your eyes surprised and completely flutter. 

— I-I, I don’t, mierda. wHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? — Your chat started calling you cute and being dramatic for leaving them when you turned off the camera. Your hot face and silly but cute expression were the last images that you gave them. 

Then, you went to the other stream, and continued with your Minecraft real, while listening to a lot of Spanish swearing. 

…

It only took one week to blow off. 

That little clip of your last stream kinda became viral on TikTok.

 “The girl that ends up her stream for Quackity” 

Oh god, oh my god. 

This was so embarrassing. On one side, you didn’t mean any of this but your account kinda blows up with a lot of new people and subs. But, there was also a thing that you have never dealt with before, haters. Who said that you only wanted attention, that you were just a fangirl who wanted to meet him. Just pick me.

That makes you uncomfortable, you didn’t know how to deal with all that shit, but still tried to look calm like always on your streams. With 5k viewers on you, it was a little hard to read all the comments while you were playing Valorant, but you could see a lot of comments referring to the Mexican streamers.

You’re nervous. You didn’t mean any of this, and first of all, you did not want to disturb Quackity. 

You just hope that this incident just passes like any other TikTok and were replaced.

…

“Have you seen the girl who just turned off her stream for you? Such a pick me” 

The robotic voice was heard after the donation and Quackity just could give a confused look. His chat seemed to know about the topic, and they started spamming his discord with certain TikTok. 

— What are you talking about, guys?  — He opened one of them and your voice filled his stream.

Quackity saw your relaxing face while singing, your brown eyes lit up when she saw something, and you had a cute little smile. And your wavy hair follows your head movements when you face the camera with an embarrassed expression. 

“Well…you know, Quackity …he…he just started a Spanish stream and I want to see it. “ 

He knew he had fans, a lot of them actually, but that little clip of you just ending your stream for him makes him kinda happy. His heart warms up while you shout to your chat, like, and intern joke. His cheeks feel a little hot and the smile across his face captures the chat's attention.

“She’s cute”

“New ship, new ship”

“She just wanted fame I think.”

“I follow her, pure mommy vibes”

“She has been harassed on her last streams for this, what a shame. “

That little comment took him back to the earth. 

— “Guys, you know that I don’t support any of this behavior. Please, if you comment shitty things to this pretty girl, you’re not part of my community” — Alex didn’t notice the pretty on his lips when he called you and almost immediately went to your stream to follow you. 

Little did he know that you were on a drawing stream, too focused on your work to look at your chat. Your live face was so beautiful, even if you were with a messy bum and frowning in concentration. 

He donated to you right away.

“Quackity had donated 10 000 bits. And applause for the sugar” Your alert claimed.

“ I like that drawing, I could request a commission someday. I’m sorry for any uncomfortable comment from my community, I thought that your gesture was really funny and sweet :) “

You just drop your pencil for the amount of money and then, when you see the username, your face goes from pale to red in two seconds. 

Shit. Shit. 

Did he just…. know that you fucking exist for a TikTok?

— “I-I…. Yo…deje mi comida en la estufa. Gracias por la plata. Sleep well chat. “ — And with that, you went off stream. 

...

Quackity blinked two times and then he just bursts off in a laugh. 

That was so funny, you were interesting. 

“You suck flirting.” 

— I was not….I didn’t mean to…fuck off, chat. Let’s enter the server. — He said, rolling his eyes, trying to distract himself from thinking about your last expression and how you couldn’t manage to erase the shy smile off your face. 

Did he have that effect on you? 

How cute. 

[hannahlovesluca]

Hi! Can I request Luxiem boys(separate) x reader who gets scared very easily and screams when scared? Play the don't scream game live on twitch?

(apologies for my bad English)

(inspired by kubz scout)

-🪻anon

hi 🪻 anon! welcome to the family!

Luxiem Boys + S/O playing “Don’t Scream”

• this motherfucker.

• he will laugh so hard if you scream, but if you’re getting like actually effected he’ll probably make you take a break <3

• probably makes a joke about how you need to go to ike for screamo lessons

• probably adds ike to the call solely because this man is petty as hell

• if you decide to go to the mini market in the game and you get the jump scare where the old man swipes across the screen, he’s most definitely making a lorax joke

• help ive never seen the lorax so i dont know if that context is correct but whatever

• “YOU MOTHERFUCKER JUST LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOONE!! AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!”

• “HAHAHAGGAHAHAH”

• “DIN JÄVEL GÅ TILLBAKA HELVETET!! AGHHHH!!”

• translation: YOU FUCKER GO BACK TO HELL!

• lots of swears in swedish (from ike… and from me… sorry self insert….again………)

• he genuinely feels bad but also laughs sometimes

• he thinks youre adorable but he also finds it incredibly weird that he thinks someone being terrified for their life is cute…..

• “GÅ KNULLA DIG SJÄLV HAHAH YEAH DU HORA GÅ GRÅTA TILL MAMMA”

• translation: “GO FUCK YOURSELF HAHAH YEAH YOU WHORE GO CRY TO MOMMY”

• you probably end up saying something so bad that he goes limp from laughing and is in tears (literally, not exaggerating)

• and if you have trouble falling asleep that night he’ll make sure to run his hands through your hair and hum to you!

• hes such a dick

• BUT HE SHOULDNT EVEN BE SAYING ANYTHING BECAUSE??? HE GETS SCARED MORE EASILY THAN YOU???

• will literally whimper with you in discord call while youre playing.

• and still has the nerve to call you a baby

• sir?????

• du är en hycklare.

• anyway he most definitely teases you about it

• literally just call him out omg y/n

• ……but its kind of hot when he teases you so you let it happen

• anyway mid game you probably mute him because he’s screaming so loud LMAOO

• this mf is even worse than vox.

• laughing. LAUGHING. MANIACALLY.

• “HOW WAS THAT A SCREAM?! I DIDNT SCREAM OH MY FUCKING GOD!!”

• “HAHAGAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH”

• will be teasing you left and right

• “y/n…. whats kidamogus backwards…”

• “…luca..”

• “JUST ANSWER IT.”

• WILL SAY “LMAO” WHEN THERES A JUMPSCARE.

• his voice is more of a jumpscare than the game itself oh my lawd

• and um… if youre swedish…

• “AHHHHHHHH KNULLA HUR VAR DET ETT SKRIK? FÖR GUDS SKULL, DET HÄR SPELET KAN TA LIVET AV SIG.”

• anyways, if you’re seriously seriously scared to the point where you need comfort he is coming ASAP.

• and he brings snuggles <3

• is still teasing you, though

• he’ll giggle at you every now and then

• but overall he just thinks its cute and amusing

• and if you squeal out a curse his heart is just going to 💥💥💥

• i genuinely dont even know what else to add…. he just giggles at you a lot 😭😭

• will occasionally make a ligma joke if things are too quiet (almost the whole game since you have to be pretty much silent LMAOO)

• he’ll probably send messages in your chat even though hes in call with you

• Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧: guys what do i do they’re so focused

[lowkeyrobin]

hiii I was wondering if I could request a sorry boys x reader? (Totally understand if not tho! Just Tommy, ranboo, Charlie, and Philza (: )

but the reader is like a streamer who just does art streams? I like to think of it as crumb-like streams? Anyway, the reader also has an idea for a possible indie show or comic or whatever they wanna make one day and they sometimes draw or animated stuff for that?

(also do you mind if I be the ⚠️ anon?)

oooo yeah of course! ; and welcome to the hotel ⚠️! love the reference haha ; anyways thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; again, apologizing for how short this is

SORRY BOYS ; auti-artistic

summary ; youre an art streamer chilling with the sorry boys

warnings ; language

word count ; 504

masterlist

You were currently live with Tommy and Phil at your sides, watching you draw. You usually streamed when you were working out the blocks for your upcoming comic, wanting to get some outside opinions from friends and chat as you worked.

Charlie and Ranboo's voices hung in your head over the Discord call, where you'd repeat their words to Tommy and Phil as they talked. Those two were streaming some weird simulation game, so you were listening to them babble with your volume on 10 as you worked, more so listening to Phil and Tommy. The blondes were giving you suggestions, compliments, and were talking about some movie they'd recently watched together.

You place your pen back down on the iPad screen, coloring in the blocks as you worked. You had numerous amounts of pallettes to make sure all the colors were correct, plus it made life easier in the long run.

"No, no, no!" Tommy waves his finger dangerously close in front of Phil's face, "That movie sucked. The dad can kiss my ass!"

"The dad was trying to save his kids, Tom!"

"By shooting their mum?!"

You slowly look up at your webcam, your jaw slightly agape, eyebrows furrowed. You listen as they both blabber on and on, talking about whatever plot there was to this random apocolypse movie that they'd seen.

"What are you talking about...?" You finally ask, looking slightly back and up at Tommy.

"Explaining to Phil about how he's wrong!"

"Okay, pal"

You turn back down to your iPad, continuing to color in the boxes as you had been. You flinch and push yourself back in your desk, hearing Charlie and Ranboo both scream into your ears.

"Jesus fuck, why are you screaming?!" You exclaim, bringing your mic closer to you to become louder.

"Charlie!-"

"No, that was your fault!"

You look over at chat, seeing some users explaining why you just got jumpscared with screams. Tommy and Phil had quieted down, looking at chat as well.

"No way you got that scared over a game." You deadpan at your webcam, knowing one of them had your stream up.

"Don't give me that look!" Charlie exclaims, "These ghosts are fucking scary, Y/n!"

"That's not my problem." You joke before deafening. The Discord ping rings in your ears before you're greeted by silence.

Tommy blinks before looking down at you. "So, like, what happened?"

"Some ghost scared them." You shrug, twirling your digital pencil in your fingers.

You glance at chat, seeing Charlie's green username and VIP star tag pop up. "tell ranboo to stop sumging them HLP ME"

You slowly nod, seeing that he was clearly typing in a rush. "Have fun with that, my guy"

Tommy chuckles, "Is he that desperate?"

"Guess so" Phil shrugs, "What are they even playing? I thought they were playing some stupid simulator game"

"No idea" You shrug, "But that gives me an idea for this comic-"

"Here we go again"

"Tommy, be supportive"

"I am supportive, I'm a fifth gay!"

[cyberrcyanide]

my thoughts on the whole cyanide situation

hi as cyanides 1# fan i am required by law to make a post about this/HEVJ also like half of this is copied and pasted from discord because i am NOT rewriting all that/SILLY also sorry for any spelling mistakes:(

SPOILERS AHEAD

anyways, if ill be 100% honest, i kind of dont like the fact that cyanide was purifed/uncorrupted. it was one of her most unique traits and i hate how that was just, boom, taken away from her just like that

they also didnt really have to uncorrupt her, she isnt hostile and pretty much harmless as long as she dosent touch the chest shape doohickey whatever those are things, as seen in episode 9, where she sat on the couch and did not corrupt it at all, and when tsavorite held her along with the other heroes who were quite literally squished together and nobody got hurt

as seen here, cyanides ONLY time corrupting something which in this case is circusic, by just touching his chest thingy

and as i mentioned, tsavorite held cyanide on the way to the poly forest, along with cyan and gold who were squished against her, and not getting hurt at all, which quick recap for a sec heroes cannot get corrupted, whenever the corruption/anything corrupted touches them they get hurt, which in this case nobody is

and i have a bit more examples but i think these are enough unless yall want more

ANYWAYS, onto the purification and maturing, THE DISAPPOINTMENT I FELT. THE DISAPPOINTMENT. i cannot stress enough how much i PRAYED this wouldnt happen, but brittany always proves us wrong and gets our hopes up one way or another

but dont get me wrong, i adore her design! its cute, sure, but it was WAAAYYYY too early to pull the purification card on cyanide, it couldve waited a few more episodes, or seasons... or just never (this could be biased but STILL) cyanide had SO MUCH potential as a character but just POOF!!! GONE!! BUUUUUUT i absaloutely loved the bossfight tho, absaloute banger 10/10

and as for the name, i dont really know how i feel about it. its supposed to be similar to cyan, sure, but it just... dosent really fit her if ill be honest. ive seen some cool alternitives like Skye and Nithiodote (which honestly i might start using whoever thought of that you deserve a gold star), and also the one i came up with, Cyanogen. (which im really proud of myself for that:3) but overall its a pretty nice name for her, she chose it herself so at least shes happy

and now the actual design, its adorable, ill agree on that one, but its kinda... too much for a hero?? it dosent really scream "hero" to me, and i dont know if im the only one who thinks this though, like.. its kind off tacky and makes her look out of place in a way and im really sad about that

ALSO ONE MORE THING, can i say she was SSUUCCHH good angst material?? we never really got to actually get to know her better, all we know shes a naive, (used to be) corrupt that wants to be a hero and also is a robot, we dont really get to dive into her actual personality and thats what i was hoping this episode will be if ill be honest

anyways i ran out of things to write so yap over everyone go home/SILLY feel free to correct me im open to criticism:)