#also yes poor viserion gets a rider

[jillvalcntines]

━━ THE TITLES & NAMES OF KATHRYN DAYNE

"Sand. Dayne. Frost. If I learned one thing in this world, the name you are born with does not hold much weight. It's the names you're given during your life, the names people either love or fear, that count as much as any coin or land." —Kathryn Dayne

(inspo 1 & 2)

tag list: @mandalhoerian @kingsroad @idohknow [you want to be added? send me an ask/chat ❤️]

[aegor-bamfsteel]

I am of the opinion that none of the dragonseeds are actually dragonseeds, especially Nettles. They are just ordinary folk who lucked out. Its circular logic Targaryens and their fans apply. 'How do you know they have Valyrian blood?' 'They rode dragons.' 'But how did they ride dragons?' 'They have Valyrian blood.' ??? We do know how Nettles was able to claim Sheepsteeler. By feeding him sheep. And what were Targaryens in Valyria? Yes, you are right, shpeherds. Is it too absurd to think Nettles applied the original method to tame the dragon? I mean come on, Rhaena and Jaehaerys were so much worried when Elissa stole the eggs. Why? She wouldn't have been able to hatch them anyway? Unless, she could. Its a good thing dragons died during the Dance, before other people realized that dargonseeds actually being dragonseeds is far more unlikely than them being just common people who displayed exceptional courage. Like Aemond displayed. Aemond approached Vhagar like he already owned her, all targaryens who claim/bond with dragons do the same, this is the trick.

I agree with some of what you’ve said, but not all of it.

“Dragonseeds actually being dragonseeds is far more unlikely than them being just common people who displayed exceptional courage”: We’ve seen multiple times people approach dragons with an intent to ride them (Quentyn Martell, Steffon Darklyn, Silver Denys, Alyn Velaryon, Gormon Massey, two knights who tried to retame Silverwing) and they either died or were maimed for life. Sixteen people lost their lives trying to tame the Dragonstone dragons, and three times that number were burned or maimed. There’s nothing in the text to indicate that those who failed were any less courageous than those who succeeded (Darklyn and Martell showed exceptional bravery in making the journey, and Alyn was a brave adventurer after the Dance). If all it took was bravery, then all of the would-be dragon riders would’ve succeeded rather than 4 out of over 50 people.

“None of the dragonseeds are actually dragonseeds”: I can’t agree with that, because it’s all but stated that Addam and Alyn Velaryon were in fact Corlys’ children. Not only do they have the silver hair and purple eyes to indicate Valyrian heritage, but Corlys was visiting Marilda’s father’s shipyard around the time her sons were born, Corlys wanted them legitimized after Addam proved himself, he faced torture to let Addam escape, when Baela was pregnant Alyn wanted the supposed son named for (his father) Corlys while she wanted to name her daughter for her mother Laena. This is actually fairly significant, because Corlys isn’t a Targaryen but a Velaryon (whereas if her children were Laenor’s sons like Marilda claimed, they would be Targaryens) who weren’t dragonlords during the Valyrian age, but then again the Targaryens have intermarried so much with the Velaryons they were basically the same family at that point. As for Ulf, he was a man-at-arms on Dragonstone with the unusual Valyrian white hair, so it seems likely he had some Targaryen ancestry. We don’t get a description of Hugh except that he was very tall and strong, but as “a common Blacksmith’s bastard” born on Dragonstone, it’s possible he’s also part Targaryen. Sometimes it seems having Valyrian ancestry does make the dragons fonder of one’s smell (like with Brown Ben Plumm) other times it doesn’t make a difference (Silver Denys was undoubtedly a Targaryen descendant but was maimed and then eaten by Sheepstealer and Cannibal, Alyn was burned trying to tame Sheepstealer while his brother did tame Seasmoke, and of course poor Quentyn was burned by Rhaegal while trying to tame Viserion). It also seems that once a dragon has been ridden, it’s easier for them to be retamed as they’re already used to people; of the 4 dragons the dragonseeds rode during the Dance, only one of them (Sheepstealer) had never been ridden.

I do agree with you that Nettles wasn’t a dragonseed. We get a full description of her in TPATQ as having black hair, black eyes, and brown skin, which none or very few part Targaryens have had. She wasn’t born on Dragonstone where Targaryens had been siring children for centuries, but in the newly built Spicetown of Driftmark, meaning there’s less chance for her to be part Targaryen. She’s the only one of those who succeeded who we’re told exactly how she tamed Sheepstealer. Maybe it was Hugh, Ulf, and Addam’s Valyrian ancestry that gave them more of an affinity for dragons, or maybe because their three had already had riders. But Nettles, as you said, instead of just walking up to Sheepstealer and trying to tame him, brought him a freshly slaughtered sheep each morning until he learned “to expect and accept her”. You’re also right for making the connection between Valyrian sheepherders and Nettles using many sheep to gain Sheepstealer’s trust, and maybe that was the original method to tame dragons. However, there are also blood magic rituals involved in hatching them, and apparently Valyrians used sorcery to bind them to their will (like the horns), so I can’t say it’s the only way.

Hatching a dragon egg is also very different from trying to bond with or tame an actual dragon; we see Dàny used blood sacrifice, but the other Targaryens just seemed to be given eggs and some of them hatched (they didn’t for Aemond and Maegor which led them to approach the biggest dragon around). Dragon eggs at a time dragons still ruled getting stolen was a big deal because they’re basically Targaryen “children”, especially to Rhaena who was Dreamfyre’s rider. Dragon eggs don’t need to be hatched to be valuable, such as Illyrio’s eggs and possibly the other Dragonstone eggs and the one Euron might’ve given to the Faceless Men, as there’s lots of magical people who want to do something with them. It’s not even clear if Rhaena and Jaehaerys knew about a blood sacrifice ritual to be used to hatch dragons, since as far as we know, Vermithor and Dreamfyre hatched without their input and they just bonded with them.

[wilburmacaulay]

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[lorddarker]

Danny: I will fight for you when you bend the knee.

Jon: Ugh, fine *kneels and raises a ring*

Danny: Wait, that´s not what i me-(holy shit look at the size of that diamond!)- Yes, yes i do.

-----------------------

Littlefinger:All this caos around...

Bran: Caos is a ladder.

Littlefinger: .... congratulations, you outcreeped me. First time

------------------------

Bran: I came back and now i have vision powers.

Arya: I came back and now i´m a ninja assassin.

Sansa: I got raped and all i have is an internship in ruling. Fuck this.

-------------------------

Bron: where is my castle?

Jaime: You´re paid for doing nothing, you should be grateful.

Bron: You know who is also paid for doing nothing? Nobility. And what they have? Castles.

Jaime: Why do i keep bringing you to places.

-------------------------

Danny: Ok, that´s it, i have lost three allies in three episodes i´m gonna use the Dragons.

Tyrion: You can´t do it. Lay siegue to King´s landing with your Dothraki and Unsullied.

Danny: ... you told me that would be unpopular.

Tyrion: Yes, but we have lost three allies in three episodes son...

Danny: ....

---------------------------

Danny: I´m sorry but what makes you think that you have more expertise in running wars than me?

Tyrion: Well i won a battle... by the timely intervention of an unexpected army.

Jon: I won TWO vital battles... by the timely interventions of unexpected armies...

Danny: ... I´m seeing a pattern here. ...

----------------------------

Dickon: My name is Dickon, Sir Jaime.

Bronn: *chuckles*

Dickon: You realize only americans find this funny do you?

Bronn: Shuddup

-----------------------------

Jon: I wanted you to see this before we start digging

Danny: You can´t dig here, these are Native Westerosi artwork!.

Jon: Sweet Seven please not this too.

-----------------------------

That General: The Gold is already on Kings Landing. Food will be there soon

Bronn: Uhm... should the grain be more important?. Because winter and all that?

Jaime: Please Bronn with gold you can buy grain. C´mon this was easy.

Bronn: .....

-------------------------------

Danny: I´m gonna use my Dragons to destroy the Lannister army

Tyrion & Jon: You can´t do that, its rude

Danny: They are dragons, it´s the only thing they can do!

Tyrion: You can use them to scout ahead!

Danny: Telescope. You want me to use them as a telescope.

Jon: Paid trips around the land?

Danny: Oh Gods they get dumber by the day...

---------------------------------

Meera: Nothing to say Bran? After 3 seasons?

Bran: Close the door when you go out?

----------------------------------

Jon: See? White walkers are old as shit

Danny: And have terrible beards.

Ice Maul: Oi!

-----------------------------------

Jaime: The Dothraki are coming!

Bronn: Time to unlock the secret weapon we carried for the ocasion?

Jaime: Bah, what are the chances a dragon is coming too.

Bronn: THEN WHY DID WE PACKAGE IT

--------------------------------------

Jaime: Archers, ready to shoot!

Archer: Uhh, aren´t the Dothraki already behind our lines? Doesn´t make this us easy targets?

Jaime: Shut up, we are protected by coolness.

---------------------------------------

*Bronn shoots Drogon*

Danny: Don´t try to Direwolves my Dragon!

---------------------------------------

Pod: Lady Catheline would be very proud of you.

Brienne: Seriously? I barely carried Sansa to Jon a few miles, that´s all my interaction with them.

Pod: That´s not true, you where rejected by them twice!

Brienne: ...

------------------------------------------

Brienne: Who taught you?

Arya: No one

Ghost of Syrio Forel: Fuck you.

Häagen-Dazs: Not me, I barely taught you anything. Damn, i´m not even sure how you learn the face-changing hability.

-------------------------------------------

Rhaegal: Ugh, mom is again riding Drogon and forgetting us. Isn´t it annoying, Viserion? Viserion?

Viserion, chasing Jon Snow: I can shoowww you the wooooooooorld!!

Rhaegal: Hey, that´s not fair, i want a rider too!

Jon, running: WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME

--------------------------------------------

Jaime: Ha! a rookie mistake, you took land and you don´t even have armour!

Danny: I have a dragon.

Jaime: Charge!!!!

Bronn: She still has a Dragon.

Jaime: Charge!!!

Horse: She still has a fucking dragon what do you expect is gonna happen!

Jaime: Charge!!

Drogon: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE HAND AND A SHITTY SPEAR AND OH MY FUCK YOU *breathes fire*

--------------------------------------------

*Drogon flambs two poor horses*

Bronn: SUPER FRIENDLY SAVING HUG!!

Jaime: Wtf.

Horses: Fuck both of you.

---------------------------------------------

Jaime, drowning: How am i going this deep, i was barey in the water. Damn you Bronn.

[wendynerdwrites]

SERIOUSLY ALL THIS HAS DONE IS MAKE ME SHIP DAENSA MORE

IN A UNIVERSE WHERE DANY IS THE DRACO IN LEATHER PANTS AND SANSA FIXES HER. SANSA’S ALL “DON’T BE DRAGON-IMPERIALIST-BARBIE. BE DRAGON-UNDERGROUND-RAILROAD-ALLY BARBIE. THE ONE THAT COMES WITH A DREAMHOUSE. FUCK EVERYTHING WITH A Y CHROMOSOME. THEY ARE ALWAYS EITHER MORONS OR OPPRESSORS! LET’S INVENT A LESBIAN DEMOCRACY TOGETHER. WITH YOUR DRAGONS AND MY KNOWHOW (ALSO INVITE YOUR FRIEND MISSANDEI TOO BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE OF US WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT IT IS TO BE A SLAVE AND FRANKLY, HONEY, THERE’S BEEN A BIT OF A WHITE SUPREMACY EDGE TO YOUR WHOLE THING SO FAR THAT WE REALLY NEED TO WORK ON ANYWAYS. I MEAN, I’M A GINGER, BUT I DON’T THINK GINGERS SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN EMPIRE, RIGHT? I GET THAT TARGARYENS DO REQUIRE A WHITESPLAINER TO HELP THEM, SO I WILL WHITESPLAIN TO YOU WHY SURFING ON BROWN PEOPLE DOESN’T WORK. BUT I WILL NEED HELP FROM SOME ~ACTUAL~ BROWN PEOPLE TO GIVE ME THE ACTUAL COUNSEL INSTEAD OF PRAISE TO WHITESPLAIN TO YOU AND GET THROUGH TO YOUR UNFORTUNATELY WHITE, INBRED, THICK SKULL. YOU KEEP SURFING ON BROWN PEOPLE DARLING, AND I NEED THE PROPER WORDS TO TELL YOU WHY THAT MIGHT BE... PROBLEMATIC) WE CAN ACTUALLY IMPROVE THINGS. NO. DON’T INVITE TYRION. HE IS THE IVANKA TRUMP OF HOUSE LANNISTER AND REALLY DOES SUCK AT ACTUALLY HELPING YOU. NO, JON, BLESS HIS HEART, HAS FUCKED UP SO EXTENSIVELY THAT NEITHER OF US SHOULD TRUST HIS JUDGMENT. THE ONLY WHITE GUYS IT SEEMS WE CAN TRUST THUS FAR ARE THE DISABLED ONES LIKE Bran and Davos (but not Tyrion, who appears to be the exception to this rule), but we actually have to remind Bran to REMEMBER TO TELL US SHIT WHEN IT IS ACTUALLY USEFUL, BRAN.  But Davos is disabled AND grew up poor so maybe he is useful... Oh, Arya? Yes, I tell her things like “you are the strongest person I know” to keep her from stepping off the brink of COMPLETE psychopathy, and she IS easily manipulated but no, she will not be given a significant seat on our lesbian democracy council, even if she IS related to me. This is not the Trump administration. Now, we are going to formulate some strategies with some military minds who ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING to figure out how to best employ those dragons of yours so the other two don’t end up as ice dragons and destroy everything like you did with Viserion when you made the mistake of listening to white men like Jon. But NOW you will listen to newly inducted lesbian geniuses like me who think about things like arming soldiers properly and grain storage to make sure your armies can actually, you know, FIGHT. And learn how to be an ACTUAL ally to the oppressed instead of this white-savior-cake-or-death bullshit the dumb whiteboys have told you to go along with. Yes, I understand this confuses you. Your parents and grandparents WERE siblings. Oh, the paragon of almost-adequacy that is my cousin’s dick is distracting you with the orgasm it ALMOST gave you? Well, this is why we’re establishing a LESBIAN  council to help the lady-dragon rider, Darling. Here, as long as you keep in mind the OTHER things my mouth is good for, I’ll do better for you than what that guy-that-even-Jaime-Lannister-thinks-is-dumb does. Excuse me.” *Ten minutes later* “Yes, that WAS nice, wasn’t it? Now, shall we talk about GRAIN?! You know, so our armies against the dead are fed well enough to ACTUALLY FIGHT PROPERLY?! SPLENDID! Now, if you excuse me, I have to go confer with the multi-cultural lesbian democracy council so I know what to whitesplain to your inbred-imperialist-dragon-barbie-ass next. BREAK THE WHEEL INDEED, MY LOVE!”