#also yes i was a dumbass again and wrote 7 instead of 8

[yallmakemyassitch]

Tripped Security 📸🐟

WITNESS THE POWER OF THE PENCIL, FOOL ✨ @ghastigiggles

Welp guess who's back drawing this stuff! This was very fulfilling and fun, but also pretty difficult because of the amount of details and mistakes I made. It's shocking that I pulled this off in 2 days too (started yesterday)

Either way I hope you enjoy this a lot, but I'm very proud of the results and now have to rest my wrist. This took HOURS but I'm glad to get it out to you Sebastian feigning fools (⁠/⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠(⁠^⁠ ⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠/ 🩷 which includes me haha

More pressure content will come soon enough

[latenightdecaf]

Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability

part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist

previous entry here

Yoongi x reader

Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)

Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi

slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life

series of drabbles/one shots

warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈

word count: 2,546

Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.

“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”

He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.

“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.

“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”

He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.

“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.

“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.

One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.

All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.

“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.

“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.

You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”

He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.

This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.

You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”

“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.

“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”

“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”

He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.

“So you’re just co-workers now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”

“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.

Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.

“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’

And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.

“We’ve been together for a while”

“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.

“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.

“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.

“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”

Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.

“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”

“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.

He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.

“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”

With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”

“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.

“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.

“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.

“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”

‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself

“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”

“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”

You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.

“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.

And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.

Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.

“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”

“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”

You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.

“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.

Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.

You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.

He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.

“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”

He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.

“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”

And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”

He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.

“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.

“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.

“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.

Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.

“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”

Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.

You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.

But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.

Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.

“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.

The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.

With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.

“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.

“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”

“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.

moodboard sr: x

[effervescentdragon]

Aki. Just answer all the damn question. You want to answer them all and I want go know all of your answers.

I love how you know me so well :D I’ll answer the ones I haven’t covered in the asks before, which is like. Most of them :D :D 

2. Favorite Chapter?

The Fall of Gondolin, definitely omfg, you know why, it’s THE chapter for me <3

3. Favorite Character?

ALL OF THEM. But like, canon - Glorfindel, Fingon, Maedhros, TYELPE MY DUMBASS SON <3 Curufin, Feanor, Galadriel, Elrond, Gil-Galad, Cirdan. Fanon - all my fanon of these plus Lalwen my queen, Findis, Elenwe.

5. Elves, Men, or Dwarves?

ALL OF THEM

6. Maiar or Balrogs?

Ugh. I’m indiffferent to Maiar unless it’s Annatar then I love and hate him, and maybe Eonwë, he’s kinda cool, I like heralds. Balrogs killed half my faves (the ones Sauron didn’t) so I don’t know. xD

7. Eagles or Dragons?

DRAGONS!! THE FUCKING EAGLES DIDN’T SAVE THORIN AND YES I KNOW THATS HOBBIT BUT FUCK.

8. OTP?

God. Russingon. (Also Cirdan x Lalwen).

9. What Age of Arda would you like to live in?

First Age, bring on the slaughter baby!

12.You can save one kingdom from destruction, which do you choose?

... fuck idk. Numenor I think. There’s something abt that place. 

13. Would you want The Silmarillion to be made into a film or tv series?

NEITHER. FUCK THEM ALL. IT LIVES IN MY HEAD ON A LOOP WITH MY PERFECT CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING MADE WILL JUST RUIN IT BCS IT WOULDN’T BE RIGHT.

15. Post your favorite Ted Nasmith painting.

Oh God. I’m a magpie, or yakno, a dragon. The fucking Nauglamir, definitely.

16. Silmarils or Rings?

I’d fucking burn them all.

17. Are you glad the Last Battle isn't in the published Silmarillion?

I rly wish we could’ve seen how the Professor (re)imagined Ragnarok tbh.

18. What is the hardest name or word for you to pronounce?

Any of the fucking ones that start with “C”. I hate that it’s “K” and not “S” bcs it fucks with all my phonetics, given the translation practices in Slavic languages and just. UGH.

19. You get to save one character from dying. What would they do instead?

I’m cheating :)

I save Tyelpe, my stupidest son and the one I love with the fire of a thousand suns. He spends a month getting drunk about how stupid he was in love, until Elrond and Gil-Galad come to drag him away from Eregion. They dump him with Cirdan, who is a Good Dad, and helps him find his passion again. His passion becomes taking Sauron down. He tricks Sauron, who thinks Tyelpe is still in love with him. Tyelpe wants to seduce him and then kill him. Tyelpe seduces him but doesn’t kill him, bcs HES FUCKING NOT LIKE THAT AND HE DIES AGAIN OMFG TYELPE YOU STUPID FRICK!!!

20. What do you think Tolkien's message is about possession and wanting to possess?

Ugh. This is a smart one, and my brain is stupid atm, and not serious at all. Okay. Yeah, it doesn’t work. You think you own sth, but earthly posessions are so fucking irrellevant. An excuse to do terrible things. An excuse to sequester yourself, to not think on anything but the past. It fucking doesn’t work, and I’m projecting here, but it’s a fucking illusion. Idk how to elaborate atm, but ask me again at some point. 

21. Would you have followed Fëanor from Valinor to Middle-earth?

Yes.

22. What is your opinion of Fëanor?

I wrote a whole post abt Feanaro here. Idk how much of it is still relevant, but at least some of it is I think. 

23. Do you have pity for Melkor?

Ugh. No. Sorry, I’m working on being a better person, but it’s a slow process tbh. 

25. You get to have a conversation with J.R.R. Tolkien. What would you want to talk about?

As I said before in the other ask, here is how it goes.

Jirt: Hello, my dear. What would you like to talk about?

Me, clenching my fists and gritting my teeth: I have but one question, Oh Great One.

Jirt: Ask, child. I am happy to answer.

Me, grabbing Jirt's collar whilst screaming and crying tears unnumerable: WHO THE FUCK IS EREINION'S DADDY JIRT?!?!?!?!?

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MONSTROSITY, HERES A PIC OF MY BEDTIME READING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS <3 (I only cried a little when I got it back)

[sam-blackbird]

What if episode 8 spoilers!

I wrote this while watching the episode and after, but I don’t stop the episode every time I had something to said because it would have been to long. (In fact that’s what I did so it’s really a long post, sorry!) Anyway, let’s began!

OMG there’s « Jeremy Renner » in the opening! *fangirling in Hawkeye/Clint Barton fan* Wait, about the opening, it’s different from the others, the ones from the previous seven episodes, right? OMG blond-haired-Natasha! *also cry in fangirl*

The Watcher talking about a reality which end and which breaks his (?)(we always assume that’s The Watcher use the he/him pronouns but as far as I’m not sure of it, I’ll use the they/them pronouns) their heart and guess what? I think this episode will break mine!

It snow… (Please tell me it’s not ashes (Maybe from the burning world?))

Holy- Natasha!!! My heart is tight and I feel bad and sad and now I want to cry, Marvel I hate you. Also, she looks hurt, Marvel I double hate you for that, stop playing with my feeling please!

*yell and screams* My little boiiii!!! (Hawkeye/Clint Barton just appeared on my screen) (and I’m really happy of it) (I hope he won’t be hurt, or I’ll became violent because no one hurt my little baby! Yes, I’m aware that he’s older and stronger than me but I don’t care, let me dream and cry, ok?) Also, excuse me, but what happened to his right arm? I’m not sure but if it’s what I think it is, Marvel you’re gonna have big trouble (and by that I mean my insulting you in French in my room, which isn’t that bad I think)

Good I love this action scene and this duo! And the Hawkeye cape is really stylish! I want the same! It seems so cool! Can we agree on the fact that that’s a cape of invisibility, like in Harry Potter?

Also, that’s a metal arm or a prothese that he have instead of his right arm?! Marvel please no! *screams and swear in French*

The three-arrows thing was cool!

*double scream in French when the robots hurt Hawkeye*

Touch him and I’ll kill you you robots! Yay! Natasha!

Wait a minute, I just think about it but where are the others? (I’m full of fear now)

A joke about him being disable? Ah. Sooo fun 😒 (no) Natasha saying that puns aren’t her speciality… Girl, no kidding?! Also, the « It’s Russia. Secrets were the national pastime. » is actually a good one! (Is that the ruins of Saint-Petersburg?)

« One‘s man dream »… You mean his stupidity and/or madness of values, right?

Oh sh¡T! Ultron dear, you’re a son of a Tony, and that’s not a compliment. Dumbass, if you erase the life on Earth, first of all that‘s not nice (thank you Captain obvious) and then, how can we have the wonderful Wandavison?! (Yeah, I love this ship, one of the only hetero ones I like)

Clint being worried for his family wasn’t something I needed today you Marvel!

Scuse me WTF?! He cut Thanos like a shitty piece of paper?! And this purple idiot let him a free access to the Infinity stones?! (Well, he may don’t think things were gonna happened that way but it’s a big catastrophe, like *scream in French*)

*swear in French* Ultron my dear don’t do that!!! *scream for the happy universes we saw* *cry for it* Also, Ultron might be a vilain but we can’t deny they’re (again I’m not sure about the pronouns) really good looking. I mean, their design is really cool and full of style and it’s sad it would bring us tears and desperation because they’re really stylish -I know I repeated the same think but I think it and my English vocabulary isn’t really good :C -.

And I was right to fear for the others :C

Ultron, peace isn’t destruction!

Did he just destroyed Earth?! *is shocked and don’t accept it* *my heroes can’t die, right? * (friendly reminder that Tony’s not part of my heroes)

And Asgard?! *still in disbelief*

*saw their favorites MCU characters disappear from the screen* No! Nooo! *cry for real and had to put pause to cry* (my heart is broken, why did you did this Marvel?!)

The Great Master is just like us, he watch what’s happening in disbelief because it’s so… absurd. It’s not happening, right? It’s just a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon, right?

What the f_ck Xandar?! Captain! *cry with joyfull tears* Please kick Ultron’s ass! Skynet, LoL, I understand that reference! (Am I that old?!)

Wait, I just realized but if Ultron had destroyed Earth, it means Maria -you know, Carol’s wife- is dead?! *gasp in pain*

« You can’t win. - I already have. » Dude WTF?! Let me have hope you son of Tony!

Crap Ultron broke the 4th wall and heard the narrator (aka The Watcher!)! We’re in danger! All the universes are in danger! Our mental health are in dan… Wait, I don’t have that one.

*deep breath with Natasha and Clint appears on screen*

Hey Watcher, maybe you could help them, no? I mean, the multiverse is in danger and they’re your last hope, remember? But no, it’s so much fun to watch them looking in all the boxes… 😒

Is that Alexei Red Guardian’s shield? You really want me to cry Marvel?! (oh no, now I’ve got « Bye bye Miss American Pie » stuck in head… Great, really)

*Clint talking about his low will to live* Me: same here bro! Not exactly for the same reasons but same here!

Watcher, stop talking just f_cking help them! That’s what you called « intervene » Watcher?! LoL seing them trying to talk to the duo Clintasha is the funniest think in this episode for now xD

Not this escalator xD *think about the scene with Steve and Bucky in it in Captain America: The Winter Soldier* *smile*

Francis?! WTF?! XD

How to kill Zola? With water xD Oh God I love Clint so much xD

« I’d like to order a pizza » LoL *die of laughing because it was unexpected* xD (See? She can make pun!)

Yes, a specific arrow! Also, don’t explain us you plan! If we know the plan before it happened, it’s not gonna work!

I’m love the trio Clint-Natasha-Zola actually!

Wait… Natasha holding Clint furiously reminds me of what happened in Voromir… *realization* NO! No no no no No! I see what you trying to doing here Marvel! No! I want them to live! Both of them!

*shock* *cry*

The « I don’t want to fight anymore » wasn’t something I needed Marvel! Why would you do this to me?! WHY?!

*also, sadly, we know that Ultron won’t die in this episode because we saw it in the end of episode 7 and it was after episode 8 I guess*

THEY DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HAPPENED IN ENDGAME THOSE *incomprehensible swear drowned in tears* !!! I hope all the one who said that « it should have been Clint » regret it!

And the little smile! He’s relieve to leave and to join his family! *cry in pain*

Why do I still watch The MCU?! I know it’s painful but I still watch, why?!

Apart of that, can we talk about the beauty of this scene? The music, the light who goes on Clint…

Watcher, you sure you can’t do anything ?!

I’m sorry but I have to : Nat, you’re such a poser !

Wait, The Watcher is actually really badass and strong!

What the f_ck Steve?! Why became president?!

WTF?!

Wait, it’s already the end?! Ah, no. Fiou.

What the… That’s Strange. And by that I don’t only said that it’s weird, but also that that’s literally Doctor Strange from episode 6.

How the f_ck does he end up there!? No idea.

I love the ending music, god!

*enging credits* What the… The CNC and Film France helped?! *disbelief but also pride to be French*

And that’s it! Finished! One week to wait until the next one?! It’s gonna be sooo long (actually no because of my studies but you understand what I mean, right?)

[pies-writes-and-more]

PIES’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR MAY 2020

So I’ve never done one of these fic recommendations lists before but I really want to share some of the amazing work that I’ve read this past month! I’ve definitely read a whole ton more but I was dumb and didn’t think to like draft this list and then just keep adding to it... so I’m just attempting to go through my tags LOL please be patient with my dumbass. 

NOTE: Since I only started doing this recently, a lot of my recommendations are gonna come from a lot of my mutuals but I’m always open to hearing more about other fics!!! If you’ve got an incredible fic that you are super proud of or if you think that I should read something you’ve read, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! I’m really big on StevexFem!Reader, BuckyxFem!Reader, WandaxFem!Reader, CarolxFem!Reader, and Stucky fics!!!

If you do end up reading these fics, please tag me if you reblog them or comment on them!! I’d love to see your guys’ reactions :) 

ANYWAYS THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHED MY HEART WITH AMAZING FICS, RUINED MY IDEALS OF WHAT LOVE IS, AND/OR BROKEN MY HEART WITH ANGST ONLY TO REVIVE IT WITH SOME FLUFF. I love you all so very much.

PS. if these links dont work for some reason, please let me know so I can update this list because I was very distracted halfway through making this so it might not be perfect!

1.Walpurgis Night by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg. (Fairy Tale AU)” I have no clue why this fic is not given more goddamn attention because holy shit yall, I have never been so grasped by a fic before. If you love medieval/fairy tale type things, you will love this fic. And if you don’t, you’re gonna love it anyways because @anika-ann​ writes SO. FUCKING. WELL. 100% fluff and love.

2. Abs Aren’t Always the Answer by @its-not-captain-america​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve asks Y/N what girls are interested in, trying to impress her. Several shirtless pics later it’s not working.” Y’all want hilarious shit??? What about Steve Rogers always trying to take his fucking shirt off because he has the DNA (and the body) of a stripper? JK that’s not the actual reason but this fic is so funny, I died reading the first 700 times (and the 701st time too... and every time after that). 100% hilarious.

3. Challenge Accepted...? by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader ”Steve’s never been good at quick decision-making when it came to his own safety. After one particularly horrible experience, you find a way to remind him every day to think twice the next time he’s faced with a tough choice. He is not amused.” Steven Grant Rogers you stupid dumb hoe lol. That’s all I’mma say about this fic because it speaks for itself when you read it haha. Banter is iconic in this fic. 100% hilarious.

4. A Matter of Trust by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You and Steve get to go to a mission together after a while; free drinks, partying, dressing-up nicely, stealing blueprints, the usual. You might even enjoy this as a couple.“ This time it’s Y/N that’s kindof a stupid dumb hoe but like that’s okay because when Y/N is a stupid dumb hoe, it’s not as stupid or dumb as when Steve does it. There’s a bit of a carry on between Challenge Accepted...? and this fic! So I would suggest reading that one first and then this :) 100% hilarious.

5. For a Smile by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You see him run past every morning. So you smile, because he looks like a nice person. How could he not be when he smiles back and the world stops for a while to pay respect to such beauty?” So you know how Disney movies totally screwed over some of our perspectives of how guys were gonna come and sweep us off our feet? Yeah. This fic did it too. I’m still waiting for my fairytale fucking moment like this fic but if it never happens, I’ll settle for just reading this over and over again LOL. 100% F L U F F and LOVE.

6. Grease and Pearls by @anika-ann​​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “All you know is uptown; fancy clothes, expensive cars, jewellery outshining one’s personality and exhausting dinners with family acquaintances and business partners. Your life is all planned out; one day, you’ll marry Howard Stark’s son and you’ll be the golden couple adored by press.” This 3-part series slayed me. Like honestly, I’ve never been so torn apart before. Y’all lucky that if you read it, you get to read all 3 parts right away whereas I had to sit and wait for my heart to be torn apart and then stomped on. (Jk anika i love you you know that). Super amazing thing I love about this fic: it’s got links to the dresses that Y/N wears (super cute btw) AND it’s got two different endings so you can decide!!! 100% ANGST and 100% FLUFF? At the same time??? Because of the two endings?!?!?!? NOTE: part 2 got some steamy smut in there so 18+ readers only. I had to take a cold shower after reading it like goddamn.

7. Be Alright by @kayteewritessteve​ ​| Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.” God this fic. I can’t with this fic. It’s based on the Dean Lewis song Be Alright, which is already one of my favourites, but this fic, ugh, Kaytee knows how to hurt you that’s for sure. It’s so pure and so wonderful. 100% SAD but like it gets better promise.

8. Cold Feet by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

“After two months of dating, you’ve come to a conclusion as exciting as well as a bit irritating: Steve Rogers is a perfect man. He simply has no flaw.Or does he?” Mother. Fucking. Adorable. I dunno if there’s anything else to say except that anika really knows how to make me wish I was Y/N adsoifhosd. 100% F L U F F

9. Hot Chocolate by @vodkaxtonic​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve gets sick and Y/N takes care of him, which involves a lot of Steve’s whining, hot chocolate and cuddles.“ Steve Rogers is a little shit who won’t just accept that he’s sick and needs to be taken care of BUT IT’S SO CUTE AND THIS FIC IS THE BEST!!!! 100% FLUFF!!

10. Home by @evanstush​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “It’s been 2 years since the last battle and it’s now Morgan’s 7th birthday, and well, Tony being Tony, he prepared a small party for her little girl, inviting everyone from the team, including you.” Hnnnggg this fic. Okay so. I love @evanstush​ with all my fucking heart because she’s always been so supportive of me and my fics. That being said I WAS NOT EXPECTING HER KIND ASS TO HURT MY HEART LIKE THIS. But again, it’s okay because it’s got fluff guys. 50% ANGST and 50% FLUFF. Well like it’s 100% both but like I have to split it haha.

11. Cocktails by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “ ~i really don’t know what to write i’m sorry~ DRINKS!” That’s okay, darling, I’ll write the summary you. HILARITY. WONDERFULNESS. THE WORD BLOWJOB WRITTEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT’S FUCKING GOLD. This is so funny i love it haha. This fic killed me. I should’ve seen it coming (hehe) but i didn’t lol. 100% HILARIOUS.

12. Unadulterated by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader No summary for this one but again, I shall do the honours haha. It’s part 2 of ‘Cocktails’ and this one is just as adorable and hilarious as the first part! Steve is a cheeky little soft boi and the flirting just makes me feel all sorts of ways <3 100% ADORABLE.

13. Water Wars by @writeyourmindaway | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader “The team finds a new way to unwind” I love fics where you just see the team get to be normal people!!! Plus haven’t we all thought about how the Avengers would are in a water fight? Is that just me? Don’t have to fantasize about it now because @writeyourmindaway wrote it for you :D 100% FLUFF.

14. Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact.” I binged this whole fucking series. 8 parts of PURE. EVERYTHING. I have never so badly wanted a happy ending in my fucking life. This is an amazing series with so much love put into it, you can tell. I really can’t explain this fic because you really need to just go read it to know how amazing it is. NOTE: Part 4, 5, and 8 have some serious love smut in there so 18+ readers only please. UGH. I love this fic so much. I will continue to keep daydreaming about it and thinking about it all the time. God I love me some Dad!Steve. 50% FLUFF and 50% ANGST (which seriously tore my heart out like I cried).

15. You Make My World Spin by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “After the Battle of New York and all the mess Tony gets involved in later, Pepper believes he is in a need of an assistant slash tech genius. Enter you. While Tony is not amused by Pepper’s idea at first… he soon warms up to you.” So many insanely wonderful references in this fic, it’s hilarious. Also, Tony being a little shit LOL. Such a hilarious fic!!!! 100% AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS.

16. If You Stumble... by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “If you stumble…make it part of the dance. In which you ask Steve what your date would look like if you lived the forties. He decides to show you instead. There are few flaws, holes to see through to glimpse beyond that illusion. But what life would be besides boring if everything was perfect? Perfect dress. Perfect date. Perfect gentleman…?” So my dumbass was so excited to read something that anika put out that I didn’t realize this was part 2 of a 3 part series lol I’m dumb yes I know. Anyways, this is part 1 so please don’t be like me and read the first part LOL. ANYWAYS, this was so fucking wholesome. This is definitely one that I need to read again and fully read in order (she’s got part 3 on her AO3, I believe) but ugh. I love the idea of Steve dating in this century, comparing things to how things were done in the old days ufglasodfhsd. I love it. Amazing. 100% FLUFF (I think because well my dumbass hasn’t finished but this part was fluffy :3)

17. @wxstedhexrt‘s poems | Read Them Here! | Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes I don’t think Destiny ever gave me a summary of these but (and Destiny, please correct me if I’m wrong in how you want these to be portrayed!) I believe they’re poems written throughout the whole Steve and Bucky timeline. She’s used the Winter Soldier’s words and turned them into a gorgeous set of poems. 100% My favourite thing in the whole fucking world. 

18. The Lonely Tree by @sarahwroteathing​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You have a favorite tree which you make sure to pass every day on your way to class, but one day you find you’ll have to get used to sharing it with a friendly art student.” Holy shit guys this 15 part series was so amazing. It’s 100% PURE FLUFF and PINING and gorgeous. Holy shit. Like I screamed reading the whole goddamn thing. Amazing writing by an amazing human being with some awesome humour haha.

19. @sinner-as-saint​ responding to an anon request? Amazing. | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Request: May I just spice up your day with the thought of best friend/roommate bucky being jealous when you bring someone home HOT. AS. FUCK. Holy shit. It’s such a short little list of things that Bucky would do but ugh. I was dying reading it. I love me some jealous Bucky smut. 100% angsty fluff? With smuttiness ;) 18+ readers please!!

20. @alloftheimaginesblog​ prompted fic | Steve Rogers x Reader (I could be wrong here but I believe the gender of the reader is never specified? But the ring is a woman’s ring so?? @alloftheimaginesblog​ pls correct me if you want!) Prompt: Finding an engagement ring in one of their drawers. So fucking fluffy I needed a cavity filled after ugh. I loved it so much it was just a gorgeous piece of writing. Steve is a little piece of poop for not hiding that ring better I mean come on, you’re telling me you couldn’t have punched a hole, put the ring there, and then cover it up with like a cabinet or something??? jk i still love you steeb. 100% fluff!

21. Laser Tag by @stargazingfangirl18​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You play laser tag with your boyfriend Steve and his best friend Bucky. Since you’re just a plain ole civilian, you gotta use what non-Avenger skills you have to avoid losing. Hint: those skills involve Steve and kissing.” Iconic. Everything. Wonderful. There is nothing I love more than Steve Rogers being a little sucker for making out with his girlfriend even when there’s a competition. 100% fluff!!!!

22. Under the Rainbow, Draga mea by @binkysteebnpewter​ | Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader I don’t think there’s an official summary ( @binkysteebnpewter​ pls correct me if I’m wrong) but my summary is this: GAYNESS <3 I love me some wlw content so when I saw this pop up on my dash, I couldn’t NOT read. It’s soooo good. This is a Social Media AU and the amount of meme usage in there I- it’s fucking wonderful. It’s still in progress though so you guys will have to pine after this relationship with me. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 100% GAY LOVE <3

23. A Fic in which Peggy Carter plays wingwoman because these two idiots are in love with each other but they can’t see it so our Queen needs to throw it at them by @1she1hulk1​ (please note I made this title by myself because I don’t think there was a title LOL @1she1hulk1​ lmk if you want me to change this xD) | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “the plot is bacially you and Steve go to see Peggy and she tells Steve to finally make his move” Peggy Carter is a fucking Queen and she knows that Steve is falling for you, because he just won’t stop fucking talking about you LOL. Anyways, this is a super cute fic!!!! Please go give it some love because this human being who wrote it doesn’t think she’s a good writer?????? Crazy. 100% FLUFF!!!!

OTHER FICS THAT DESERVE MENTIONING!!!!

So because this is my first recommendation list on this site, I know I’m definitely missing some amazing fics that I’ve read but never saved (I’m a terrible person I know). So I’m just gonna add them in this list here because they deserve love and attention too!

@wxstedhexrt​‘s poetry. Period. End of story lol. JK. So the ones that I’ve read that are on Destiny’s tumblr aren’t all fandom related (besides the one that I posted above) but they’re still really amazing. I’ve never felt so captured by poems before (mostly because i’m stupid and don’t understand a lot of poetry). Ugh anyways I love her poems so much so please go check them out! CLICK HERE FOR BEAUTY <3

Alright so I know a lot of you guys know @kayteewritessteve​ but if you don’t, she’s this super amazing writer with INCREDIBLE series. (CLICK HERE TO SEE HER FULL MASTERLIST). But one of my most favourite series by her, and one of my favourite series of all time, is: If Only You Knew “You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.”  This 18 (plus an Epilogue) part series will literally have you screaming at your screen being like WHY YALL CANT JUST TELL EACH OTHER HOW YALL FEEL?!?!?!?! 75% angst (because Kaytee likes to hurt us) and 25% fluff BUT the fluff is SOOOOO worth it so it’s like 100% angst and 200% fluff (i was never a mathlete). NOW since, we’re on the topic of Kaytee’s writing, I’d also like to mention: Love and War  “In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.” so I read this while Kaytee was writing it about a year ago and holllyyyyyy shit. Okay. So. Listen. Fantasy? Check. Romance? Check. Amazing writing? Well it’s Kaytee so yea obviously check. I want to list more things but I don’t want to give it away! This is a 15 part series (plus an Epilogue and Outro) but it goes by so quickly once you’re stuck and waiting for more!!!! 

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01 E01 C05-12

This post deals with cultural and translation concepts in clips 6 to 12, from episode 1. I also wrote about some things that I forgot to mention in the first post. I think this is it for the first episode, though. Let me know if there is stuff you’re still unclear about.

CLIP 5: Let us discuss ALEJANDRO 

As I mentioned in the first post (just click the tag), in Spain groups are pretty stable through class periods. Therefore, and based on who we’ve seen in clip 3, Eva, Lara, Lucas, Amira, Viri and Alicia all go to class together. Amira may have met Nora in class, or during break. Cris may be part of the same group, since I gathered Viri is her class president as well.

Prior to the show airing, there was some discussion over what kind of vehicle Alejandro would drive. It is EXTREMELY unusual for a Spanish high schooler to drive a car.

You can only get a driver’s license when you turn 18.

It is a somewhat involved process.

A student turns 18 in his or her second year of Bachillerato, AFTER the New Year. This is similar to Norway. Chris Berg (born the 6th of January, 1999) and Sana (born the 24th of December, 1999) are in the same grade.

Even if Alejandro had the money and means to get a driver’s license and a car in as painless a process as possible, finding a parking spot in the heart of Madrid is a fucking nightmare. My high school teachers came to work via public transit.

We find out in clip 5 that Alejandro comes to school on a motorbike. This is fine; you can get a driver’s license for a motorbike when you turn 16. There are some limits on how powerful the engine can be, but it’s still a bike.   

That said, when the profile for Alejandro went up, we found out he’s been held back a year (like Even) and he’s already 18. So he could theoretically show up with a car in the future. This factoid also implies things about Alejandro that weren’t a factor for the other Williams. All the other Williams haven’t had issues education-wise.

CLIP 6: In which Eva’s lineage is besmirched

Eva has already called Lucas a son of a bitch, but in this clip, we get the female form. Daughter of a bitch just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as the male form, so I settled on fucking bastard.

I could’ve translated it as any number of slut-shaming slurs, but. Given the themes in Eva’s season, I think the actual slut shaming slurs will come out eventually, and I want to make a distinction between those and what Inés calls Eva in this specific clip. Right now, Inés isn’t making an issue of Eva’s sluttiness, but rather her mother’s. Who probably has no idea any of this is happening, but hey. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Inés also tells Eva, “Flipo contigo.” I translated this as the appalled, disbelieving, “I can’t believe you.” The literal translation would be “I’m tripping on [your attitude].” “Flipar” makes reference to the effects a drug has on your consciousness, mainly hallucinations. The construction “flipar contigo” can be positive or negative. They might be appalled with you, as is Inés, or they may think you’re amazing. They might think you’re boasting, or that you’re literally high! So many options!

CLIP 7: Jorge Is Concerned

Jorge has a Slytherin folder! I thought the snake was Lucas. Cute detail, though. 

I know that shippers gonna ship, and you’re not going to want to warm up to a Jonas when Penetrator Chris is coming. Still, Jorge might be the most attuned to Eva’s emotions of all the Jonases. He knows something is wrong and insists that she tell him, over and over in this clip.

Hugo and Dilan are apparently doing some kind of Fortnite meme? They could be doing a Polish traditional dance for all I know.

Hugo congratulates Dilan on a dance well danced by calling him a “cabrón.” Literally, this word would mean that Dilan is being cuckolded. For a number of reasons, I will be translating “cabrón” as bastard or asshole, unless someone actually gets cuckolded.

You can check the shows happening in Madrid on the 14th of September, if you would like to make a guess as to where the boys went that was so packed: here.

CLIP 8: Endorphin hits

I already mentioned this on Twitter, but Eva taking off her jeans to put on pajama pants, yet keeping the top she wore to school, is peak relatable.

Eva ordered a pizza from Telepizza. I find them to be too greasy and prefer other chains, but it’s certainly Spanish as fuck.

Again, I can’t tell what she’s snacking on while she reheats the pizza. Some kind of squared-shaped crackers, yes, but the brand isn’t obvious. She also grabs a few ruffled chips.

CLIP 9: These three dumbasses

I’ve said elsewhere that my top 3 Skam characters are Eva, Isak and Sana. That said, I have a huge weak spot for the Eva/Isak/Jonas trio and their dynamic in season 1. It’s a friend group that starts out seemingly stable—a couple and their best friend—but one of the thorough-lines of season 1 is how it comes to disintegrate into lies, cheating and manipulation. All the ingredients for that eventual implosion are subtly interwoven in this clip, and deployed nicely for a wholly original clip.

Tomás Aguilera is doing some great work here, he genuinely looks and sounds like he’s exhausted. But it also means he’s slurring some of his lines. I have listened to them with headphones, had someone else listen to them with the speed slowed down . . . No dice. I tried for an approximation, instead. The lines that are giving me problems are, “el triunfo está siendo una puta ______ en el campo” and “_____ se lo compró sola, ¿eh?”

I love that both Lucas and Eva are wannabe football commentators.

Jorge calls himself “el puto amo,” an extremely common way of bragging. There are in fact og Skam parody subs kicking around on Twitter, where Eskild tells Isak to say that, “Eskild es el putísimo amo,” instead of a guru. A literal translation would be, “the fucking boss/master.” I think these are both valid translations, but I already used “master” for the first clip for a totally different word. “Boss” is good, but I find “badass” to be a much more common way to brag.

Jorge calls himself a badass, and Eva replies, “Te has flipado muchísimo.” This is, again, about “flipar” or tripping. Eva thinks Jorge’s bragging is so over the top that he’s actually tripping—on the drug that is his own ego. In this case, I did go for the literal translation. Their banter is fairly par for the course. Jorge wants to build Eva up, since he just bailed on her, and he succeeds at least at making her smile.  

Lucas says of Eva’s hat that it “tiene estilo,” i.e. the hat is stylish. I translated it as, “the little hat is something.” I am aware that it loses some of the subtext about Lucas. I definitely wouldn’t fight a literal translation of the sentence. This is where I go full meta. Are the writers trying to say something about Lucas by having him say that? Or is that something any Spanish dude would say to be sarcastic? I’ve met a lot of straight guys who’d say something like that just to be funny, so I picked something that was a bit more subtle. Lucas is still commenting on Eva’s clothes, rather than Eva’s body or any number of things someone who was into girls would find attractive. He’s just doing it in a way an English-speaking straight dude would go about it. But this is a very personal take, so your mileage may vary. AM I STRAIGHT-WASHING LUCAS, especially since the people watching these subs will have probably watched all other remakes and know what’s coming? A question to ponder.

CLIP 10: Ye olde bait-and-switch pt. II

More thoughts on class trips. As I mentioned previously, I went to Majorca when I was 14. These girls will be turning 17 next year. Because of that, I find Majorca to be a bit of a destination for kiddies. When I did Baccalaureate, the class trip was to Prague, Czech Republic. This is still a thing. In fact, the high school where Skam España is filmed organizes a trip to Prague for Baccalaureate first years.

I’m not naming the school here because it took only a couple days for someone to learn where the show is shot, to go and crash the filming. Let’s avoid another Nissen situation, folks.

The fact that Viri wants to go to Majorca comes across, to me, as Viri being more immature than her peers. But, it might also be that she missed out on an earlier class trip at her former school. Or she knows that parents would absolutely not allow a bunch of high school girls to go to Prague without an adult to supervise them. Or that they won’t ever get enough money to subsidize an international trip, and she’s managing her expectations and ambitions. Or the trip is actually going to take place and it’s easier for the production team to film in Majorca.

At any rate, this trip, much like my trip to Majorca, is not supposed to entail any learning. They’re going to spend the whole day at the beach, and the whole night partying. As an aside, when Viri comments on how hot the guys are, she sounds like a divorcee ogling hot dudes. It’s hilarious because she’s so young. I tried to have that come across in translation.

There was some discussion about Cris in this trip. Og Chris Berg was someone who, while colorful in her own way, did her best to avoid confrontation. She’d much rather not say anything, rather than say something that could possibly offend someone. We see here that Cris Soto is a different kind of Chris. I could start rambling about the way the different remakes have adapted Chris, but I’ll keep this to Skam España. My impression is that, because Amira’s actress has been very vocal about the ignorance she encounters as a hijabi, Skam España is making more of an effort from the jump to show that ignorance. (In the og, we only really start to see this ignorance on the part of the whole girl squad when we get to Sana’s season. The previous impression was that only Vilde was ignorant.) I don’t feel that Cris is being intentionally rude, although Amira is certainly put off—and right to be, since Cris is making a joke about a piece of garment.

Cris just seems like she doesn’t know much about what Amira’s life is like. And although she doesn’t get it, particularly, she’s willing to go with whatever Amira feels is right for her.

As in the og, Cris brings Amira into the group. The difference is that it’s Amira who tips Nora. Of course, Noora only joined the bus group to get to know Eva, but also Sana. It works!      

CLIP 11: Madison, Wisconsin

Mr. Wonderful is a Spanish enterprise that takes inspirational/cheesy/corny stuff you’d find on Instagram, puts them on all kinds of merchandise and sells them. As you might’ve gathered from previous clips, Spanish people are a bit more rough and tumble than the Mr. Wonderful products would suggest. So while popular among some, Mr. Wondeful stuff is also hugely backlashed. There’s an instagram account called puterful_es that takes demotivators and slaps them on merchandise, too. Hilariously, Eva follows both Mr. Wonderful and Puterful on Instagram.

I know that people who watched og Skam saw Ingrid and Sara as the popular girls. However, as the show goes on, we learn that Ingrid, Sara, and their crew, are first years, just like Eva. They’re only starting to build their rep at school. The truly popular and feared girls are Maria and her Rad Girls bus crew. This isn’t the case with Inés and Alicia (who earlier was a total idiot about Amira wearing a hijab). These girls are THE girls you want to have on your side, or your projects won’t ever get off the ground.

Amira thinks it’s notable that she was born in Spain, instead of being born somewhere else and moving to Spain. I guess that makes her identity more in turmoil, since she’s constantly moving between two worlds. I think all the Sanas were born in the cities the Skams are set.

Nora is from Madison! I know @lightsandlostbells finds it hugely amusing. So do I! You’d expect someone like the Noora expy to come from someplace glamorous or exotic. Noora, Manon and Mia came from Madrid. Who knows what red-lipped woman of mystery Eleonora has done with her life. Grace is from Dallas, so not that high in the exotic scale. So far, we don’t know whether Liv has spent time anywhere else. There’s some exotism to be mined just from the magic words “Estados Unidos,” but it’s clear the girls don’t find Madison hugely impressive. If Nora had come from New York or Los Angeles, the meeting would’ve gone off the rails because the girls would have so many questions.

In real life, Nora’s actress Nicole Wallace’s father is from the D.C. area, while her mom is Spanish.

Viri’s façade is torn to pieces when she sullenly mutters, “De puta madre.” This would be a sarcastic way of saying, “Fucking great.” I picked fucking hell, but in hindsight, I’d fix that. Subs are a continuous work in progress, I’ve found.

There has also been some discussion regarding house parties. House parties have not been part of my Spanish teenage experience. It is far, far more common to go to “botellones.” I know there’s some confusion over what a botellón is or isn’t, so I’ll explain. There are some public places in Spanish cities (parks, squares, basically any decently-lit place with space to accommodate hundreds of people) where teenies will gather every weekend. They will bring their own beverages and get drunk. They will mingle, perhaps meet someone new and hook up. Botellones are unofficial gatherings. You don’t need to get an invite. It’s a public place. You go there because you know other people are going to be there. You can hit botellones in other neighborhoods for a change of pace, and no one’s going to tell you to stay out.

It is much cheaper to buy some booze at a convenience store, than to buy a drink or several at a bar. Besides, the drinking age in Spain is 18, so the girls wouldn’t necessarily be able to get into a club, and they’d be carded.

I’m not sure whether we will see botellones in Skam España, simply because the logistics of filming one would be really complicated. You’d need about a hundred extras, each with an NDA, the willing participation and silence of a neighborhood, and to make sure no one’s going to wander in and find a camera crew filming everyone. That said, the trailer did contain some videos clearly shot at botellones. Possibly actual botellones, not ones for the show.

But back to the house parties. While they haven’t been part of my experience, I’m told they do happen, in neighborhoods that are way posher than mine. Alejandro and Cristián are implied to be that rich, so I guess it works. More on that in episode 2 commentary.

Amira implies she wouldn’t be successful at flirting, because her hijab would put guys off. This is a departure from the og, where the Penetrators were certainly into the idea of partying with Sana. I’m not sure I believe that plenty of Spanish guys wouldn’t want to hit that BECAUSE of the hijab, too. And let’s be clear, while Amira singles Eva and Nora out as pretty, none of these girls would have an issue getting hot dudes to consider them.  

My parents wouldn’t have been happy to find I’ve been drinking their beer, while underage, and offering it to my similarly underage friends.

CLIP 12: Can’t miss that backpack  

The microphones caught bits of a background conversation mentioning Ramadan, but I don’t think that was intentional. I didn’t include it in the subs. If a random conversation, such as the girl from the og that was hungover on Wednesday, seems relevant, I’ll include it.

Much like Jorge, Nora has caught on that there’s something wrong with Eva. She asks her if she’s fine several times. Also, I guess since Nora just came from MADISON, WISCONSIN, UNITED STATES, she’s still not great with the bus system. She did get to the meeting late, after all.

[eirene-morana]

A New Year’s Resolution (2015)

A Reaction

On the year when the shit hit the fan

From the 2017 me LOL

1.  get more fluids, stay hydrated. 

Yea, I still haven’t bought a water bottle :/

2.  moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. put lotions everywhere.

Well I’m pretty fine in this department my skin’s still shit.

3.  less coffee, more tea. i’ve recently started with this and i hope i can keep it up.

Tea is disgusting :( Also I am now a coffee connoisseur. 

4.  follow your skin care regimen. stick to it. worry less of your skin demons. focus more on the good parts. tighten your pores. treat your skin right, do not punish it for its imperfections.

It’s pretty much clearer now thanks to Cetahphil and Retin-A.

5.  GET ENOUGH SLEEP

LOL.

6.  less procrastination. prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. you’re in law school, i get it. you do not have to be stressed and underslept all the time.

LOL x 2.

7.  listen to more good music \m/

Oh I have especially now I don’t have to pretend liking certain music to be liked.

8.  i know a lot of times you don’t feel like it, but do go out more and talk to and meet people. it might be awkward and cumbersome but in a long run you’ll thank yourself.

By now I’ve developed a kind of sociopathic constrained charisma which reveals itself when I need something. There I said it.

9.  stop ruminating about your stupid decisions

I’ve transcended to incorporating them to dark humor making people confused and uncomfortable on whether they should laugh or feel sorry.

10.  block toxic people. like, literally. do not contact them again. do not plead for their attention and undermine yourself in exchange.

LOL x 3

11.  you do not have to feel like shit most of the time.

True.

12.  try to be softer. it takes courage to be soft in a world like this.

I’d like to be a cut throat bitch not emotions are weird :(

13.  get more in tune with current events

Trying to because I have to.

14.  heck, read more (not just law books). expand your horizons. brush up on your astrophysics that you’ve always loved once in a while.

I’d just memorize the Rules of Court instead.

15.  DO NOT LET A MAN MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT. you are fabulous and they’re not worth it.

LOL x 4.

16.  be more genuine with what you feel. it’s hard, i know, you’ve been a whole lot apathetic for quite some time.

I tried that this year haahahhahaha and look what happened.

17.  smile more, you look more beautiful that way.

what the fuck is this gay shit

18.  it’s okay when your voice quivers, or that you don’t know things, or that you disappoint yourself. you can’t be that perfect all the time; it would be unfair for the rest of the world.

:(

19.  write more. it’ll help clear your thoughts. you once aspired to be a writer, remember? you once wrote with stick figures and sometimes, smut. you’re probably not the best writer, but you once wrote stick figures with smut.

I’ll only write to get paid.

20.  you are not 18 anymore. lessen the junk food.

Food is food, you pretentious dumbass.

21.  for goodness sake, eat. i know you can be really apathetic when you’re enthralled or occupied, but you have your basic needs.

True I still forget to eat.

22.  read your goddamn cases. yes, even the boring ones (hi, credit transactions and the like).

I do read them now and forget them shortly after.

23.  be nice to yourself. you put up with your own shit the most.

I’m trying :(

[goingallthewayy]

Review of my 2016 Goals

(AKA holy shit is it 2017 already?!)

1. Get my concealed carry.

Damnit, still didn’t do that. Still want to, too.

2. Train for and compete in another triathlon- more than one would be good, too!

Well that didn’t turn out how I’d hoped. I still want this to happen in 2017, too. Darn ACL. Happened not even a month after I wrote this, and I was doing GREAT on my fitness goals, too.

3. Go backpacking and explore new parts of Colorado.

I didn’t get to backpack (ACL) BUT I explored some great new trails and campsites in 2016. Here’s to a few more in 2017!

4. Catch a fish! Just because.

YES! I still want to do this too. But did not accomplish in 2016.

5. Climb at least one 14er that I’ve never done before! Hopefully more than one.

Did this! Democrat and Cameron! Yas.

6. Travel someplace new! hopefully a new country or two, but even a few new places in the US would be great.

I visited the Grand Canyon! So that was awesome! But no new countries or states. Still... the Grand Canyon. I give myself a B- on this one.

7. Foster another 3 dogs. More would be even better but I’m afraid it will make it hard to travel and explore this summer.

I fostered even more than that! Geez I thought I had set this goal to be like ten dogs or something. I fostered Chase once I recovered from my ACL a little bit, then I helped out with Leo and Summer, then I fostered Truman (best dog EVER), then I helped with Felix, and finally I fostered the two puppies- Nova and the other one whose name I forget right now. Smashed this goal right out of the water!

8. Take meaningful steps towards a future career. Take the GRE, apply to grad school, work jobs other than waitressing!

I took the GRE, I applied to grad school, I didn’t go even though I got in AND paid for a class (dumbass) and I got an awesome internship where I’ve figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life! Hell yeah!

9. When my lease is up in October, I hope to move to a new state, hopefully for a new job or for grad school. Preparation starts now! We’ll see where this goes. This is pretty tentative since I love my current apartment and my roommate, but have been craving change in my life. Change is in the air- I’m excited to see where things go.

I didn’t move to a new state, I got an amazing internship at Denver Animal Shelter that kept me here in Colorado. BUT I did move into the city and now i have a HOUSE and not just an apartment that I’m renting. <3

10. Go skiing at least a few times this spring. I’ve finally got all the equipment, I bought a pass to go up for a weekend with my dad and test it all out, it’s time to get up and enjoy something I used to love! Even if it means sitting it traffic for a little while. Maybe I’ll even air BNB by myself up there! :)

Yeah this didn’t work out quite how I planned, either. ACL. But I did go up twice last year before the whole thing happened!

11. Write more. Looking back through my text entries is so meaningful to me, and it really allows me to see how much I’ve grown and changed. I need to try to write more often. It helps me to stay organized and focused.

Ahhh I wish I did this. I wrote through my pains with surgery and living with my folks again. But I haven’t written nearly enough. I just got too busy. I’m going to retry this goal, too.

12. Figure out a birth control solution that works for me so I can have safer sex. Taking a pill everyday is not my deal, clearly.

Fuck. Did not happen. I stopped sleeping around though, so that helped.

13. I need to spend less time on social media. I need a plan to try to break me of my addiction. It’s bad.

Yeah, didn’t do a great job of getting off of social media, either. I have a Facebook addiction, and the fact that my career revolves around it does not help. I should come up with a great solution for this as well.

14. I need to read more and paint more. I got through the Harry Potter books and that’s pretty much it in 2015. I need to read! And I only painted a couple of times. What’s up with that? I just spent a week in New Mexico studying Georgia o'keefe. Time to get crackin on some painting.

I read some great books in 2016! I got super into audiobooks for awhile, which could totally happen again when I start working out again. I should list the books I read but I did NOT keep track-this year I set a goal to read 25 books and Goodreads is keeping track of it for me.

Worth noting- I almost always have to include resolutions about my relationships; meaning family, friends, and romance. This year I’m not doing that.

I’m proud of myself for that last year, and I’m going to keep it to a minimum again this year. <3

What a wild year 2016 was. It’s just amazing to me looking back- part of me feels like the beginning of this year was SO LONG AGO and an entire epic has happened since then; part of me feels like “how the heck did I think I’d have time to accomplish all this shit it flew by so fast oh my god.” It was an adventure from (practically) rock-bottom (I still reserve rock-bottom to spring 2014) to some of the best times of my life. Like seriously, THE BEST. Just what an adventure.

January was beautiful and filled me with this feeling of hope for the new year; I started working out and was starting to look really good until

February I went on an amazing hike with Charley (best friend at the time) and decided to quit my serving job since I had a bunch (okay, possibly an exaggeration) of money saved up. So I quit. And exactly a week later, I tore my ACL in Snowmass skiing with my dad.

March I had to return to my parents house with Finn and had surgery March 8. It was HARD. One of the hardest things. I did a lot of reading, applying for jobs, and dicking around on the playstation. I also played plants vs. zombies constantly. I was on good drugs.

April I was still at my parents’ house going to physical therapy and taking walks when it was nice. I took the GRE and planned for my future.

May I took a trip to the Grand Canyon with my best friend Charley. It was a great trip; we saw all kinds of beautiful places. We hiked up to Hanging Lake, camped near Arches and saw Delicate Arch, and then drove down to the Grand Canyon. It SNOWED while we were camping there, but it was absolutely magical. It snowed our whole way back, too, so we booked it home instead of taking our time. We still spent the night with my Auntie Joni and Uncle Pete, which was really nice. I also fostered Chase during the month of May and started my new job at Perry’s with Charley. I also started the Outpaws Tails and Trails Hike Competition, which Finn and I competed in all summer. We would have won if I had kept better records, too. ;)

June I worked at Perry’s and met my future boyfriend, Leo. I went on an awesome camping trip by myself to Red Feather Lakes in the Roosevelt National Forest. I also was FIRED from a job for the first time- Perry’s fired me for insubordination, which was a bummer because (1) it was untrue. the thing they said I did, I did not do. (2) Leo and Charley worked there, and it sucked to no longer work with them. BUT it really was 100% for the best- Perry’s paid people in a super sketchy way, I didn’t like my coworkers or my boss, there was a constant feeling of discontent there. And it pushed me to apply for my current job, which is my dream job. Plus the day I got fired, Leo took me to his brother’s house and I met Jocelyn, who is now one of my closest friends.

July I went to a Keith Urban concert with Charley, which was fun. I also visited Ashleen in Tennessee, which was SO FUN! We did so many awesome things together. I also went camping again up at Red Feather! I also watched several dogs but didn’t get my next foster until

August! I fostered sweet Truman, the best good dog. We also took an amazing camping trip to Leadville, where Leo and I seriously bonded and adventured together. It was really fun. I also started my new job hostessing at La Sandia.

September I interviewed for my Denver Animal Shelter position and got it! I went on several gorgeous hikes. Our Tails and Trails competition ended, but we won some great prizes and figured out that Finn and I hiked over 300 miles during summer 2016. Very cool!

October feels like a stressball dream. I started a new job at Denver Animal Shelter, started living with my boyfriend, and moved in to a new house. I didn’t get to do any of the fun fall stuff I wanted to, but it’s all okay- I accomplished some cool things that month.

November I dove into my jobs. We took a family trip to Montrose where I bonded with dad over a 5k and got to see my grandparents and my second cousins. I worked an average of like 60 hours a week! It was crazy. I also helped out with a foster named Felix this month and then fostered two baby puppies because Leo kept telling me he wanted a puppy. Needless to say, now he doesn’t want a puppy.

December I kept working my two jobs! We went on a few hikes, but no new adventures. I spent a little bit of time with my family, but it is still hard to be around them when Lindsey is home. I have been reaching out to her and her lack of interest in seeing me makes it feel like she really doesn’t have any interest in being my friend. It is just so weird- I don’t know what happened that caused her to just stop valuing our friendship. But that’s a post for another day. I also celebrated a dual Christmas with Leo’s family. Mexicans celebrate Christmas at 12:00 AM- who knew? It was really fun though; I love his family. Kendall also moved back to Colorado, so I’ve gotten to see her more often. I feel like I did something else really fun and I just can’t remember... I’ll think of it eventually.

I’m going to sit down and set my goals for 2017 tomorrow, I just needed some time to reflect on these goals from 2016. There’s a lot that that I didn’t accomplish, but then again... there’s a lot that I did! These goals were well thought-out and reviewing them makes me feel like even though I can EASILY say 2016 saw some of my biggest personal struggles, but it was still an year of amazing accomplishments and taking charge of my own happiness. 2014 was the year I learned that I was responsible for my own happiness, 2015 saw me figuring out what made me happy, 2016 saw me taking charge of it. I love it.

New Years Resolution 2017 to follow. <3