#also yes i know that guitar is not correct in both shape and form but let me have this ok

[azurityarts]

cat guitar

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

GIGS No519 Interview Toshiya [Bass]

Despite the hidden gimmick elements in the new single “Oboro”, which brings to the fore “simplicity” and “clearness”, Toshiya’s bass sound has a strong presence. With his words, we are going to start the second half of the solo interviews.

“[Oboro] is a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and novelty. For me, rather than that uniqueness and novelty, I felt this is going to be the core song of the album.”

Notes before reading: This is Toshiya’s solo interview from GIGS No519 June issue released on April 27th. 

You can buy the magazine at Amazon Japan.  Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) ----------------- *Toshiya’s interview comes after Kaoru’s, Die’s and an analysis of the latest gear, that’s why in the introduction of his interview the “second half” of the solo interviews is mentioned.* Text by Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos by Reishi Eguma. -You were already composing and arranging songs for the new album and from that, “Oboro” was first announced as a single. What kind of mindset did you have when you tried to move on to the next album from the previous one “The Insulated World”,released in 2018? T: At the beginning, I didn’t have any specific image of the album as a whole. -I think you want that (image) to appear naturally while you are doing the creation work. T: That’s right but as I feel like I’m always making songs, whenever I start, I only have the mindset of “let’s make something good”. -The songs you composed (from early stage) have not been released to the world yet but, what kind of songs did you make? T: Surprisingly, simple songs. Not very detailed. But I think it depends on the song. I started writing songs thinking I wanted to make something different from the previous DIR EN GREY, but there were some parts that seemed too different for me. So, I feel like I'm still searching for the direction of them. -Looking back at the various songs that you’ve made in the past, I feel like you tend to prefer an avant-garde* approach. So, I was a little surprised when you told me you were working on a simple song.

* Avant-garde is a tend for music that  sounds nothing like the music we're accustomed to, experimental, considered to be at the forefront of innovation. T: Ah, I see. But basically, I think I'm a simple person. I've made songs that feel avant-garde but it’s just that such songs were easy to be accepted/used (by the band). I don't know the specific reason, but I think it's probably because the range of the band will be expanded. However, many of the songs I make myself are very simple. -Even if you say "simple", I think people feel differently about it. For example, Shinya also says his drum playing is “simple" but it's actually very difficult.  How does that simplicity that you mentioned feel for you? T: That's right…..I'm wondering how to describe it, but to put it simply, it may not be something very DIR EN GREY-ish. I think many of the simple songs I make are like that. -What do you think that is “DIR EN GREY-ish”? T: Our band is probably "heavy" or "intense"…. Another things that is often said (about the band) is “complexity”, I think that’s the image of the band. With that in mind, the songs I make aren't very DIR EN GREY-ish. Of course, when I write a song, I'm aware of that. -Do you dare to make something that it’s far apart from those ideas? T: It’s the other way round. I’m not trying to do something close to that, but I’m like “I have to take it in the direction of DIR EN GREY a little more". But from that point on, I started thinking, "How about getting too close?”, "It's more interesting to be in a slightly different place." Well, I might just think those things on my own (laughs). -Are the avant-garde songs born from those thoughts? I think musical input and stimulation are also important when you are composing.  In 2020, we were in a situation in which you couldn’t do many public activities but, how did you get that input during that time? T: Basically, even with this corona situation, there are some things that haven’t changed much. If I had to say something, I can spend more time on composition and production as there are no tours or live performances. Regarding the input part, it seems to have changed, but I feel like it hasn't changed. Besides, I don’t think it’s something I’m conscious about so, I haven’t changed anything in my music because of Corona. -Last year in August, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was released in a digital format but, I think this song has a complex pattern in the development of the next step. What was in your mind when you were arranging and recording this song? T: Riffs are also the main melody of the song so I basically listened to the guitar riffs and arranged it so I could put my own play in some parts. In terms of sound making, there isn’t much change. Making in a basic way the feeling of my favourite distortion, it feels like mixing various things there. -For the past few years, you've been actively experimenting with various bass effectors every time you record, but have you tried several of these in the "Ochita koto no aru Sora" recording? T: Basically, I don’t remember which one I used anymore (laughs), but the basic system hasn’t changed, the head is an ampeg cabinet from the 70s, I think it was SWR. In the recording of the previous album "The Insulated World" the bass I used was also a dingwall one. That bass can be used for almighty (pedal). *1.A bass cabinet is the box with the speaker.   2.Ampeg is a manufacturer best known for its bass amplifiers.   3.SWR Sound Corporation is a specialist manufacturer of bass guitar       amplifiers, preamps, speaker cabinets, and acoustic guitar amplifiers.  4.  Dingwall Designer Guitars is a  canadian manufacturer of bass guitars.  5.  Almightty is driver pedal for bass.

- “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was a song with a positive message. Did you find a new direction as a band giving shape to this song?

T: There might some different aspects now but at that time, it may not have changed. I don't think we can completely overlook that, so I can't say anything about it. However, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” itself was made completely to be a single. That's why there may be new things, but surprisingly, I have a strong sense of putting out what was inside us in that way. In what way is it the opposite? Does it feel “new”?

-There are various elements, but I feel that each one is like DIR EN GREY-ish. However, it resonates very much that the lyrics leads from a negative perspective to a positive one.

T: I see. Regarding the lyrics, I think it’s a continuation of the taste of other songs we’ve done so far, but I don’t know because I haven’t asked. However, although the flow of the lyrics are not the same in content, I felt like it was written from a close place.

-The song that follow this one is the new single “Oboro”. Kaoru wrote the original melody but, what was your impression when you first listened to it?

T: I don't think it's much different from the finished form in terms of feelings. The intro had this kind of atmosphere from the beginning. I think it's a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and newness. However, I personally felt that "this is the core song in the album" rather than being unique or new. As a result, “Oboro” became a single, but at first it wasn’t written with that purpose. We suddenly talked abour releasing a single and after that, as we all agreed that it was a good song for that, we decided to choose it as a single.

-From what part of the song did you feel that it was going to be the core of the album?

T: I felt that this ballad-type atmosphere and feeling really stands out in the album. Because of that, we decided to release it as a single, but we haven't released many singles like this, so I think it made a good change.

-The fact that you feel that  a ballad with a melody  it's going to be the core of the album….does that mean that the other songs are the opposite of it? It seems to be quite an atmosphere where this amazing song was born! (laughs)

T: Well, I can't say anything about that because not all of them have come out yet (laughs). However, it's easier to make a slightly up-tempo songs, so I wonder if there are many songs like that for now. Even if I actually make a song, I don't know if it will be included in the album, so I can't really say anything about the direction of the album or the feeling of the songs. However, "Ochita koto no aru Sora" was made to become a single, so there are a lot of parts of it that hit the target. And as for "Oboro", I felt that it was meant to be release as a single, but also that it was meant to be kept for the album.

-For example, do you change the arrangements and the bass approach if it's an album song or a single song?

T: Yes, it changes. It's completely different for me if is going to be a single or if it is going to be a song for the album. Even if I make  the original melody, it’s different on how much time it takes. Singles are harder to do. You can work more relaxed if it is a  the song for the album. For singles, I feel that the part I am aiming for as a bassist is very strong at the time of elaborating the arrangement.

“If you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.”

-Did you do a lot of trial and error in your part when you made the bass arrangement for "Oboro"?

T: It’s really a minor part. It feels like the details are boiled down when it seems to be a bass phrase like that in a rough flow. The bass in the demo of the original song had many root-playing (basic) phrases so, how to elaborate them from there? what do to with the cadence?  However, “Oboro” has a bass line that snuggles up to the song, I think this phrase has the strongest awareness of song melody.

-While focusing on that sustain-based roots playing components, some bass phrase will come up when you are doing the arrangements but won’t turn out very showy. And when it comes to the ending of the song, it will show fierceness while increasing the distortion of the sound. I felt it was a carefully selected phrasing.

T: I think it’s easier to hear it at the ending of the song, but that distortion is actually there during the whole song. Not only the ending part is distorted but also the beginning. However, when all the instruments came together, I don’t think that distorted feeling could be properly heard. Even if it's distorted that much, surprisingly, it goes well easily. I usually have two patterns at the time of recording. For example, even if you use the same distortion effect, the distortion is applied with a little shallow sound like a hunting sound. So, this time, it was a way of finding what I felt comfortable with when it got mixed with the sound of the band.

-So the reason why you can’t hear that distortion in the first half or the middle of the song is because it got completely blended once the sound of the band got together?

T: That's right. I think there is a perception that if it is distorted, the sound will inevitably be drawn into it. However, if it's distorted that much, it gives a plump low feeling and you can see the phrase. It's simply because we don't stack as many guitars as we used to. Sometimes the sound of each instrument can be heard firmly, so the approach can be focused on what you want to hear. To put it simply, I think it's a big thing that the direction of the band has become simpler. So, in recent years, I think the balance of the band is very good at the time of put together each member’s part. I think that vocals are especially attractive in "Oboro".

-Kyo is very fast adding the lyrics, I’ve heard that he finished recording his part before the instruments  (recording) were done.

T: That's right. "Oboro" already had the vocals done at the stage of recording the bass. However, although he recorded it first, in the end this part will be the last one. After all, it seems that there are parts  he wants to record again once the other parts (instruments) are added. However, even if it is not the final form of the lyrics, if they are already included, the nuance of the phrase will change. Maybe it’s the same with the other members. I think everyone ends up arranging their parts for the lyrics.

-So, the idea was to keep the bass of "Oboro" as simple as possible?

T: Whether you're playing or listening, it was a simple form that seemed comfortable. I think a phrase that requires a lot of work is also good. If there is a song that suits that idea, I wonder if I should take a laborious approach. In that aspect, I thought the dynamic of “Oboro” feels as pleasant as possible. However, I was allowed to play a bit with it. I think the proportion and the sense of balance are also good.

-Did you choose to record some takes while changing your approach?

T: "Oboro" was decided by the current phrase from the time I did pre-production work at home.So, when I recorded in the the band's pre-production room, I just made a few minor corrections when I made the actual recording. As for the mix,  regarding my part, it was a good feeling from the beginning

-Neal Avron has been appointed as a mix engineer this time. Did his mixing work significantly change the nuances of the bass sound?

 T: It has changed. But the biggest change depending on the engineer is the sound of the drums. More like, I feel that the personality of the engineer can be understood in this aspect. Personally, I think the vivid and deep sound of the "Oboro" drums is good.

-A remake of your song "T.D.F.F" is recorded as one of the couplings. What kind of mindset did you have approaching this song including the arrangement?

T: As always, I thought about the phrase from the perspective of what it would sound like if it were done by my current self. When we do a remake, I listen to the original version of the song to confirm what I was playing at that time. Sometimes it's interesting to discover that I was playing it live with the wrong idea(laughs).

-The person that you were at that time is brought back as well?

T: There are times that happens when we rethink our approach. It was like this at that time, but I think it's different to do this phrase now, or to do it with a different feeling. Some of the old songs are due to youth, I have a variety of knowledge and experience now. So, there are times when I change to an approach with a completely different interpretation, and there are parts where I want to play faithfully to the original. For example, keep faithful to the main phrase that  would change everything if you changed that. At the time of "THE UNRAVELING" (released in April 2013), I had a strong desire to change everything if I wanted to remake it, so I changed it completely, but in recent years I have been thinking about the original carefully and the idea is to put my current sense into that. Because when you're making a song, it's your song, but it's not only yours. In that case, it’s better to capture our thoughts and the memories and the thoughts of the fans together in order to shape that song in a good way. If you want to make a bold change, I think you should use that idea to create a new song with it.

-The other coupling song is a live track from the concert without audience at Meguro Rockmaykan. What do you remember about this?

T: It's one of the first stages I've stood on since I became a member of DIR EN GREY, but the Rockmaykan with no audience felt strange. When the live starts, there is only one thing to do, so it's not much different from usual. But I’m not sure if there is something extra in it. It’s not about the call and response (from the audience), I think that the tension inside me is different depending if there are fans or not. After all it is more interesting to have audience. It can also inspire you. I think that such a form of live is also a possibility in times of Corona, but it doesn’t have to be like this every time. However, I learned a lot from this new experience with this new way of expression. Besides, it was a confirmation that there are various things that can be done in a situation like this.

-After this, there is a concert with audience on May 6th. How are you feeling now?

T: I'm looking forward to it and I'm happy. Above all, I am very grateful to be able to perform in front of the audience. Something that used to be normal is not normal anymore, so I wish I could do it with a new feeling.I think the world has simply changed due to Corona. Until now, everyone was running, and I think there was a huge difference between each person’s position. However, because it's all gone, to put it the other way around, everyone restarted from the same position. How does each person perceive that? Of course, the negative effects of corona are huge, but just thinking negatively does not change anything. So, if you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.

[corvus--rex]

Semi-abandoned soulmate au. I actually started this one before The Sound of Color, although this is vastly different from that one. This particular au also doesn't have the requirement that soulmates are always romantic (ie Pidge and their soulmate). It jumps around a little, and those sections are marked with dividers. Soulmate strangers-to-lovers. . .

~*~*~*~

Soulmarks. Everyone had one. An indelible mark that bound two people together. Age 13 was when it would start. The mark “waking up” as some called it, and reaching out for its companion mark. Most soulmates were within a few years of each other, so the lingering tingle of a mark searching for its mate usually didn’t last long.

Lance was lucky that way. His mark sprang to life on his thirteenth birthday and quieted three months later. There was no way to know who or where his soulmate was at that point, but he knew they were three months younger than him. He had been getting ready for school that day when the constant tingle in his mark faded.

He’d always liked the quarter note-shaped mark on the inside of his left wrist. What confused him were the numbers that circled it. No two marks were the same, and Lance knew that his soulmate would have something different. But those numbers confused him. 1030211933. Trying to figure it out was a favorite pastime throughout middle and high school, but he never could get there. He hadn’t met his soulmate yet, but he hoped that it would make sense when he did.

Once two marks found each other, the secondary connection opened. The marks on the soul allowed for marks on the body. Words, doodles, full-blown artwork. Drawing or writing on skin would appear on a connected soulmate. Once Lance’s mark had connected, the first thing he did was ask his soulmate about the numbers. They didn’t know either. But he did find out that his soulmate’s mark sat on their right hip, it was a feather, and they didn’t have those numbers but they did have a series of roman numerals along the feather’s shaft that read:

X X X X X X I X I X X X X I I I

They continued to talk for years, learning about each other. They had decided not to share identifying information like names or location, but Lance knew that his soulmate had a twin and that their parents had adopted their cousin when their cousin’s parents died in an accident. They didn’t know anything about the accident because they’d been too young at the time and no one had explained it since. Lance told them that he had three siblings, that he was a twin, too, and that his older sister connected with her soulmate the same day he had.

He lay in his bed in the dorm he shared with his best friend Hunk, rereading the last message his soulmate had sent him about how college sucked and how they already had an in-class performance a month into the semester. He’d responded with a note about how trying to balance classes with rehearsals as the lead in his school’s fall musical was kicking his ass. Lance already knew that his soulmate was studying music at a college close to where they grew up. And they knew that he was majoring in theatre at a college a three-hour drive from home.

Hunk trudged into their dorm room and threw himself onto his bed. “Remind me again why I decided this was a good idea?” he groaned.

“Which part?” Lance asked in return.

“The part where I decided to be a pastry chef and subject myself to the hell that is the one professor I can’t get away from?”

“Because you love baking and always have and one asshole can’t make you hate doing what you love.”

“I swear she just likes to terrorize us. There’s that guy I told you about – Sal, the one I had a class with freshman year and he transferred to general culinary and now he’s back – she hates him. And I don’t know why. But then, she hates me, too. Pretty sure it’s that bun. It’s so tight she doesn’t need a face lift. But I’m also convinced that Chef Dayak is just evil.”

“Hey, at least you have Shay there with you. Not everyone gets to have their soulmate in class with them all day,” Lance pointed out.

“How’s it with yours?” Hunk asked.

“We’re working our way up to talking about meeting. I know I wanted to wait until after graduation, but I’m getting impatient, y’know? It’s been eight years and I don’t want to wait anymore. But I get that they do. So…yeah. Anyway,” he said, shaking himself out of that particular spiral, “You going to the Halloween party this year?”

“Dude! It’s a month away!”

Lance sat up, turning to his best friend, one eyebrow arched. “Seriously? You say this like there’s such a thing as too early. And no, it’s only three weeks. We need to start now.”

Hunk groaned again, this time in only partial exasperation, and sat up. “Fine. The fuck are you planning this year?”

Lance just laughed. Hunk threw a pillow at him, collapsing in his own fit of giggling when a startled Lance took the pillow directly to the face. Lance’s alarm sounded, loud and annoying. He groaned, throwing Hunk’s pillow back, and fumbled for his phone to turn the blaring sound off.

“Fuck me. I have to get to rehearsal.”

In an apartment just off campus, Keith stopped playing and pulled the pencil out of his hair, making yet another correction to his scribbled sheet music. He started over, again, ignoring the key in the door and his roommate coming back in. He ignored their slight form dropping their overpacked backpack on the floor and throwing themselves onto the other end of the couch with their laptop and notebook. Keith was too focused on his music to pay much attention to Pidge.

Except that Pidge wanted his attention right then. “Hey. Asshole,” they said, throwing a ball of notebook paper at him.

“Yes, hellspawn?” he asked casually, setting his guitar on its stand by the couch, “What the fuck do you want?”

“I’m on the committee for the party. You’re coming,” they said while typing away on their laptop.

“No. I’m not. I don’t go to parties, and you know it. Why the fuck are you so determined for me to go?”

Pidge looked up, fixing him with their stare. “Because I said so. And because Matt’s going to be there. His girlfriend’s going too. You actually like Neve. So you’re going.”

“Including you, that’s three people I’d be willing to talk to. Why should I bother?” he stopped, a dreaded thought sparking as to why they were so hellbent on his going to the party. “It’s because it’s a week after my birthday, isn’t it?”

“What? You mean that thing you ignore every year except for the proliferation of doodles from your soulmate? Why would that have anything to do with it?”

“I'm still not going,” Keith insisted.

“We’ll see about that,” Pidge answered cryptically. They went back to their laptop, typing furiously. They stayed that way, ignoring Keith’s death glare until he gave up and went back to his music.

Eventually, Keith decided that the music portion of his brain was fried and gave up for the night. Pidge was buried in their laptop, writing a paper for their robotics class at top speed. Ignoring them for the moment, Keith opened his own laptop, going back to the English assignment he still hadn’t finished. It was due by the next class, which was two days away, but he’d been putting it off for longer than that. He typed lazily at it for a while before a horrible thought hit him and he realized that his previous assessment had been wrong. He glared up at Pidge over his screen.

“She’s going, isn’t she?” he asked.

“Who?” Pidge asked back, pretending they didn’t know what he meant.

“You know who.”

“If you’re referring to your sister, then yes, she is.”

Keith sighed. “Just because she knows who her soulmate is now, that doesn’t mean that you’re right. Mine could be literally anyone.”

Pidge closed their laptop. “And you’re in denial. I can not believe that your twin sister happens to have a soulmate who has a younger brother who is also a twin and his soulmate has a twin. The odds of that happening are so small as to be inconceivable! Not to mention the part where Acxa’s soulmate and her brother both connected with theirs on the same day.”

“Ok, I’ll give you that it’s weird. But you don’t know anything about Acxa’s soulmate’s siblings, and neither does she. And not everyone’s met theirs yet. You haven’t! All you know is their handle on Steam!”

“So? I also know that Beezer’s on the other side of the country. I know that we won’t get to meet in person until after graduation. All I'm saying is that this is a little too weird to be a coincidence.”

“And I’m not going to let you harass my sister’s soulmate about her siblings on the day they’re meeting face to face for the first time. Leave it alone, Pidge.”

“Fine,” they said, going back to their paper.

Keith knew full well that Pidge would not leave it alone, but there was only so much he could do to stop them.

A few days later, Lance dragged his twin sister, Hunk, and Shay to the nearest Halloween pop-up costume store. None of them had found anything they liked, and Lance was getting bored. Shay had wandered off to the decoration part of the store, and Hunk was making sure the twins didn’t get into trouble. But Hunk had gotten briefly distracted and lost them.

“Jules no.” Ah, there was Lance.

“Jules yes.” And his sister.

“Are you two still arguing?” Hunk asked as he approached the twins.

“Hunk,” Lance said, putting his hands on Hunk’s shoulders, “She wants us to be the Wonder Twins again. I absolutely refuse. We did that once when we were like nine.” He felt something hit his back and whipped around to find his sister holding a Wonder Twins costume. “Ana Julieta Alameda-McClain, get that fucking thing away from me.”

“Oh, fine. You’re no fun,” Jules pouted. She put it back, then turned around, spotting something else. “Ooh! Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch?”

“What the fuck – no! I’m never going Halloween shopping with you again. You’re on your own,” Lance said, wandering off and taking Hunk with him.

Hunk was laughing. “Why do you keep letting her do this, dude?”

“I don’t know. Anyway, I say we go over to The Costume Company. I think I’m done with mass-produced crap.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll go find Shay and meet up with you two at the car,” Hunk agreed, heading in the direction he’d last seen Shay.

Lance reluctantly went back to his sister. “We’re going to The Costume Company,” he said without getting her attention.

“Hm? Ok,” Jules answered, not paying attention to her twin.

“Bye, then.” He started to leave without her, getting halfway down the aisle of the Halloween pop-up before she realized what he’d said.

“Lance! Get back here, you ass!” she yelled after him.

He ignored her as payback for her insistence on twin costumes and kept going. She chased him all the way to his car, where Hunk and Shay were already waiting. Lance finally lost his composure, cracking up when he reached his waiting friends.

“Leandro. Alejandro. Alameda. McClain. I am going to kill you,” Jules growled while out of breath from chasing him.

“No you won’t,” he said, “Mamá would kill you in return.”

Shay saw her opportunity and took it. “Shotgun!” she announced, hopping into the passenger seat.

“Shay, I love you,” Hunk said, getting in behind Lance, effectively separating the twins.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Acxa, just promise me you won’t give in to Pidge. They’re being totally insufferable with this,” Keith said. He lay on his bed, earbuds connected to the call he was on with his twin.

“You know me better than that. Gremlin won’t get shit out of me. And she’s not getting anywhere near V at the party."

~*~*~*~

Links to the rest of the series:

1 | 2 | 3* | 4 | 5* | 6* | 7 | 8 | 9* | 10 | 11 | 12* | 13 | 14 | 15* | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19*

[khrow-shinku]

The Great War S21

D&D 5e Campaign

The Great War

Session 21

The group decided to go talk to DeSantas, perhaps he is a more reasonable man and no fighting will be needed. Before the party can enter through the door to see him, a member of the Bleeding Eye, Angra’s assassination company, goes running past them. Curious why the man was rushing right by them in such a hurry Baruch reached out and touched his shoulder. Upon feeling the hand on his shoulder the man stopped. Angra then before Baruch can speak asks his subordinate what his purpose is there. The man, recognizing who Angra was, stated he was there to deliver a message. Hearing his response everyone let him go about his business to deliver his message. The man then walks through a closed door which makes everyone raise an eyebrow. JJJ tries to open the door and go through it and he instead runs into what feels like a wall. Tinkerman on a hunch tells JJJ to close the door again and then try to walk through it. This time he walked through it. The entire party followed his lead and walked through the closed door.  While in the hallway leading to the room where DeSantas is, they hear his response to the messenger where he is thanking him profusely as if he just heard the best news he has heard in years. The messenger steps to the side as the group comes in to see DeSantas crying in what seems to be out of happiness. DeSantas then asks why the group is here and what do they want? Ara speaks up and says she is here to do the trial. He asks which one? We have several types of trials for different things. Ara specifies the one to become queen. He tells her that he can do it but she will have to wait until morning. He has to get it prepared.

Angra chimes in, “I don’t need to be nosey but what was that message about?” To which the man responds telling Angra that the message was about his children who had been taken away from him by a man in the shadow council known as the priest who was using his children as blackmail against him. Turns out they are safe in an orphanage in Dreula that is run by the Bleeding Eye.  Then some of the party notice all the nice shiny weapons around his place and ask him if any of them are for sale. He responds with a why yes they are, as you can see they are well made and don’t look like cart parts, gears, and plumbing as he had noticed many of the party's weapons had that odd aesthetic to them. He goes straight into salesman mode discussing different weapons they are looking at and showing his handy work. Several hours pass as the party oos and awes over all the shiny weapons. Tinkerman bought an axe so that he could study its construction to improve his skills. (Hey DM I think he got the hint that steampunk is not the best look for weapons.) JJJ bought a sword, Thefa bought a bow as a gift she intends to give Ara, it is one that looks very similar to her own and works in a similar way. Angra bought a grappling gun that DeSantas calls the “get-over-here” gun. Baruch looked but was still undecided on what if anything was something he wanted to buy as had Rooklus.

The night before the trial Ara not knowing what is awaiting her and knowing that if she fails it will likely mean her death decides to have one last hoorah. After months of the teasing and flirting back and forth Ara visits Rooklus and tells him, this could be the last time I get to have fun. Make it worth my while. Rooklus lets her know before they get started that he is a big guy, and he has 4 levels he can go to  and well, the 4th he has never tried but they will see where the night takes them. He also tells her to feel free to make full use of this time as he knows how her powers work and he wants her to be in top shape for the trial.  They start out in his 1st gear and they both give each other a great time. He kicks it up and goes into his larger mammoth form and again somehow that succubus power just lets her handle the whole thing. So he goes up to 3rd gear. At this point several of the party members had come to check on things because the sounds coming from the room sounded like Ara was dying. Angra, Rin, and JJJ all stood at the doorway jaws open in pure shock of what they were witnessing. How was it able to stretch like that? How was she not dying? It is at this time Rooklus said shall I try 4th gear? To be honest I am not completely sure I can do it and I’ve yet to try it so this would be my first time. Ara responds with a simple give it to me big boy, this could be my last night alive. It is at this moment something truly amazing happens and somehow it is as if the insides of Ara’s body are a bag of holding as it goes in but she doesn’t expand or die or get stretched it just sort of works. The rest of the party looks on in pure bewilderment as to what they are actually witnessing and how is it even possible. (DM this is well.. Come on… so unrealistic.. Way to make every man reading this feel inadequate and shatter our egos and hopes of ever being able to hold a candle to that. Sheesh and I was really hoping to get a piece of that, now not so much.) Both collapsed and said in unison, “Your welcome.”

The next morning comes and Ara’s only thoughts are oh god I still feel so full, best night ever. Ara then goes with the party to do her trial. Out in the middle of a field Ara gets teleported to an Arena. In the Arena is a number of Rooklus. Ara must find out which one is the real one, meanwhile Rooklus is unable to speak or give her any hints. Ara having traveled with him for awhile knew it took him hours to bathe, and he had not had time to do so after their time last night so she used her nose. She sniffed out the Rooklus that smelled of her own juices. Like a giant neon sign she was able to pinpoint exactly which one was the big guy. Then she had to find the real Angra or the Angra that wanted to kill her or both among a bunch of Angra. After some clever questions about his cigars they all pulled one out to light up however only one had pulled out one that was half spent already which Ara knew was from a couple of nights ago when he was hanging out with Rooklus so she knew that was the real Angra. Then in the final trial, she had to face herself, or at least a different version of herself. No one could tell if it was meant to be a dark version of her or her from the future? Or maybe from the past? Given recent things as Rin contemplated what she was witnessing before her.

At first Ara tries to outsmart herself, knowing she just had the best experience of her life the night before she knew she could last a long time before getting off again so she challenged her to a masturbation contest. However the other Ara wasn’t falling for it and knew what had transpired and said no, to choose a different contest. Our Ara knew this was a long shot but knew combat would have been pointless as she knows fire would have no effect on herself. She pulled out the guitar she was given by that pretty succubus in that other world. The other Ara agreed to this. Now you are talking, although you’ll never beat me. Our Ara gave it her best shot and for a noob she played pretty well but she was no match for the clearly more experienced version of herself. The other Ara chose to just give our Ara the title of Queen despite losing because she didn’t give up, however our Ara refused saying she needed to earn it honestly by winning. She was not yet deserving of the title if she could not win here. The other Ara corrected her, telling her it is because she wants to earn it and not be given it that she has indeed earned it. The attitude concerning it is what makes her worthy. Not her winning or losing. Our Ara reluctantly accepts this even though she still does not feel as though she has properly earned the title and she says that she will request a rematch in the future and properly earn the title. With that the party is sent back to the field and Ara’s circlet that her father gave her years ago again appears to have changed. To be continued...

[ericsonclan]

Wrapped Up in Anticipation

Summary: Violet opens her dorm door to find an excited Louis with presents to wrap.

Word Count: 2048

Read on A03:

A knock at Violet’s dorm room door had her quirking an eyebrow. Therissa wouldn’t be back until the wee hours of the morning since she’d gone to pull an all-nighter with a classmate. Who else could be visiting so late at night? Looking through the peephole, Violet rolled her eyes. She opened the door to find Louis there, wearing a Santa hat and smiling at her with his arms full of Christmas wrapping paper and a huge bag slung over his shoulder.

“Lou, what are you doing here? We said we’d meet up tomorrow to wrap gifts,”

“I know, I know, but I was picking up supplies and I found something and I just got so excited I had to bring it over tonight and figured why not go the whole nine yards?” Louis smiled brightly at his best friend before looking down meaningfully by his feet.

Violet’s gaze followed Louis’ down to the ground. A small gasp escaped her lips. There at Louis’ feet was a tiny live Christmas tree, no higher than his knee.

“Isn’t it amazing! I spotted it being sold in the parking lot with all the big Christmas trees and figured it’d be the perfect tree for you. You can have a real live tree this year!”

Violet would never admit it, but a lump welled up in her throat at the gift. Growing up in a trailer, she hadn’t come from a family with the funds to afford a real live tree let alone a full size artificial one. Truth be told, as she got older her parents had stopped putting up any sort of tree at all, not even the dusty old miniature one they used to place on the table. Her mom had been busy working multiple jobs and no longer had energy to decorate and her father was too focused on chasing the next bottle of whiskey to care. Violet used to have her grandma’s decorations and artificial tree to find solace in, but it had been almost a decade now since she’d been alive.

“Vi? Are you OK?” Louis’ voice carried concern with it.

Shit. Her emotion must be showing through after all. She didn’t want to talk about any of that stuff. It wasn’t like Louis knew and she wanted to keep it that way. That part of her life was in the past now. She was living independently, and she’d never be going back. Swallowing the lump, Violet cleared her throat and bent over to pick up the tree. “It’s cool. Let’s bring it inside quick. I think my RA said live trees aren’t allowed within the dorms,”

“Ooh, breaking the rules!” Louis whispered happily with a playful waggle of his eyebrows. Slipping inside Violet’s room, he closed the door behind him with a soft click. Walking forward, Louis dumped all the wrapping supplies in the center of the room. He glanced over at Violet who was placing the tree upon her desk. “Oh, we should probably put that in water so it doesn’t dry out. Do you have a bowl or something we could use?”

“I have one,” Violet went over to the bookshelf and grabbed a plain white bowl. “I’ll be right back,” With that she left to fill the bowl in the dorm bathroom. A few minutes later when she returned she found Louis had already spread out all of his gifts upon the floor and was attempting to calculate how much wrapping paper he’d need for the first one.

“You’re using way too much,” Violet noted dryly. Going over to her desk, she stood the tree up within the water bowl. “The wrapping paper’s gonna get all crinkly and shit,”

“It’s ok, I bought plenty. If I do this wrong, I’ll just try again,” Louis’ scissors glided as he cut a huge swath of wrapping paper before looking back over at Violet and the tree. His face fell slightly. “I should have run back inside and bought some ornaments for Lil Stumpy. He looks so bare,”

“You named my tree?” Violet plopped down on the floor, rooting out her own presents from under the bed.

“Poor little guy needed a name. He’s small of stature but big of heart,”

“Excuse you, Lil Stumpy is a lady,”

“Oh! My humblest apologies!” Louis bowed in mock solemnity before continuing with his wrapping. “I’ll be sure to drop by tomorrow with ornaments for the little lady,”

“Y’know, for someone who goes to a different college, you’re over here way too much,”

Louis shrugged. “What can I say? I like it here. You’re here, Marlon’s here, and everybody else around here seems cool too. Like those twins in your statistics class. That gift’s for Sophie, right? You said she’s the one who really likes food,”

Violet paused in her gift wrapping and nodded. “Good memory,” She’d gotten Sophie a DIY mochi ice cream kit. Ever since the twins and Violet had gone on a late-night ice cream run one late night, Sophie had been talking about mochi nonstop. Hopefully Sophie’s homemade mochi would turn out to her satisfaction. Violet glanced over at the box Louis had been trying unsuccessfully to wrap again and again. “That’s the bomb you ordered for Mitch?”

“Glitter bomb,” Louis corrected, recutting his wrapping paper to a smaller size. “I can’t wait to see the look on Mitch’s face when he gets a faceful of glitter! He’ll be getting the stuff out of his hair for weeks!” Louis chortled happily at the thought. “There’s a giftcard to St. John Steakhouse in there too. Hope he looks through the box before throwing it out,”

“You’d better give him a heads up on that after the glitter bomb,” Setting aside her first present, Violet moved onto her second, Minnie’s gift. It was a t-shirt with a heartbeat monitor line in the background while a guitar was in the foreground.

“Oooh, getting Minnie something with a heart on it I see,” Louis teased.

“Shut up,” Violet muttered, turning her face away from her friend. “It’s a heartbeat, not a heart,”

“Riiiight, totally different. Minnie seems nice though. I think if you asked her out she’d say yes,”

“Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen,”

“Or maybe I should hint to Minnie that she should ask you out,”

“If you do, that, I swear I’ll steal your kneecaps in the middle of the night,”

“Ok, ok, message received! Yeesh!” Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled out a large package from his present bag that was already wrapped in dark blue tissue paper and tied with a silver bow. “Here’s your gift by the way. I wrapped it ahead of time so there’d be no chance of you spoiling your own gift this year,” It was a game they’d developed over the years: Louis hiding his present to Violet somewhere he thought she’d never find it and Violet inevitably sniffing it out.

A smirk crossed Violet’s face. “Oh, I already know what it is,”

“What?! How?”

“You left your laptop open beside me last time you were over here. I just pulled up your Amazon order history and scrolled down,”

“Well, you’re still not allowed to open it till Christmas!” Louis declared with a sullen pout.

“I won’t,” Violet took the present eagerly, lightly squishing it. Louis had outdone himself this year. He’d found a blanket with glow in the dark constellations printed all over both sides. Violet couldn’t wait to cuddle under it come Christmas morning. Pulling out a box from her own pile, Violet unceremoniously plopped one of the ribbons Louis had bought on the top of the packaging and handed it over. “Here’s your gift,”

“Wow, I love what you did with the packaging,” Louis replied drolly. Taking the small box in both hands, he shook it in curiosity.

“Hey, no shaking! You don’t get to guess what it is!”

“Oh, but you get to know what your present is ahead of time? I call shenanigans!”

“Just wait till Christmas, you big baby,” Violet glanced over at the box, hoping the present inside was still safe. She’d bought Louis a thumb piano. It had been a tossup on whether buying it for him would be worth the annoyance of him playing the thing everywhere, but Violet knew the smile on Louis’ face when he opened it would be worth it. Getting back into wrapping mode, she pulled out a thin black box that contained her next present.

“Is that one for Mitch?”

“Yup,” Violet wrapped it in the goofy reindeer wrapping paper Louis had bought. She knew that one would annoy Mitch the most.

“What is it?”

“A knife,”

“Bet you wanna keep it for yourself,” Louis knew her well. Violet was a sucker for a cool knife.

“Yeah, but there’s no weapons allowed on campus anyway, so,” Violet shrugged, making quick work of wrapping the gift. “Ready to wrap the big one?”

“You betcha!” Louis reached into his bag with glee, pulling out an entire miniature sled. The warm brown wood and painted metal detailing along the edges came together to form a truly charming sight. “You got your part of the gift?”

“Yep,” Violet plopped a red dog harness on top of the miniature sled. “I looked up pit bulls to make sure I got the right size,”

“Awesome. Marlon’s gonna lose his mind when he sees this!” Louis was practically beaming in excitement as he unrolled a huge swath of wrapping paper to begin the process.

Violet had to agree. Ever since Marlon got Rosie at the beginning of this year, the dog was all he ever talked about. Violet couldn’t blame him. Rosie was super cute and pretty much the sweetest dog she’d ever met. When she and Louis had been brainstorming gift ideas for this year, they knew they wanted to get Marlon something that would also be a gift for Rosie. Now he would be able to sit on his own miniature sled and have Rosie pull him around across the snow to her heart’s content. They were both gonna love it.

It was quite a tricky process getting such a large and unusually shaped present wrapped. In the end after several layers of wrapping paper and some truly haphazard usage of tape, they had a large, lumpy package to show for their labors. Both friends looked at it with pride.

“It’s perfect,” Louis stated, wiping a mock tear from his eye.

“That’s some fucking good wrapping if I do say so myself,” Violet smiled proudly at the mysterious blob. That was when her eyes caught the time. “Shit, it’s almost one? I have an 8 AM class tomorrow. You gotta go,”

“Awww, so soon?” Louis batted his lashes at Violet, giving his best sad puppy impression even though they both knew that was pointless.

“Yep. Scram. And take your shit with you,” Violet helped Louis pack all the wrapping paper and supplies as well as his gifts before escorting him to the door.

“Christmas hug?” Louis asked, turning around one last time.

“Fine, Christmas hug,”

“Yay!” Louis wrapped his arms round Violet happily, chuckling as he did so. “Ho ho ho!”

“…What the fuck was that?”

“A Santa laugh. Now it’s a genuine Christmas hug,”

“Whatever,” Violet mumbled though she knew Louis caught the small smile upon her lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow to drop off the ornaments for Lil Stumpy then?”

“Sure. I’m done with classes at 2,”

“Then I shall see you then. Till next time!” With a happy wave Louis was gone, sneaking quietly down the hall as it was far past visiting hours.

Violet shook her head good naturedly before closing the door. What a goof. It was sweet how excited he got around Christmas though. And the early gift he had dropped off… Violet looked over at the tiny Christmas tree, her eyes misting up a bit at the sight. That was truly special. Walking over to her desk, Violet brushed her hands along the delicate pine needles tenderly. It was her first Christmas on her own and already it was better than any she’d had in a long, long time. “Merry Christmas, Violet,” she whispered softly to herself. A bit of Christmas magic had found its way to her after all.

[saintheartwing]

Undertales of Friendship: Befriend the Man Who Speaks in Hands

Whilst Princess Luna and Fluttershy had been checking in on Frisk, Alphys was checking in on the local school where Toriel and Undyne were teaching. With sunny skies casting soft rays of sunlight down onto the grassy fields around the red building, Alphys hung back, watching as Undyne the Mer-Woman did a few flexes of her scaly muscles, giving the kids a big, fanged grin. Her red ponytail flicked back and forth in the wind as Toriel stood nearby, paws clasped together as she stood by Ms. Cheerilee, Undyne holding up an arm and flexing. "Alright, lil' fillies! You know why you're here? Cuz it's gym class day and that means you get ME. And you know what we're gonna do?"

"No, but I got a feeling you're about to tell us." Diamond Tiara remarked, the pink-furred little filly cringing slightly as Undyne gave her a slight stink eye with her one good eye.

"You bet your flank I am! It's time for fifty laps around the school yard, hollering about how great we are!" The yellow-eyed monster proclaimed. "We're gonna!" She roared, flexing. "GET!" Another flex. "BUFF!"

"More like "fluff"." Diamond Tiara sighed as she looked down at her stubby little hooves, hanging her head as the other kids glanced at each other, then shrugged, deciding that hey, they like yelling! Why not?

"ROCK SOLID, BABY!" Undyne cried out dramatically, flexing her arms some more as the kids began running around the school yard, hair whipping through the air as the wind blew, the part-time gym teacher and part time royal-guard-member smiling in delight as Toriel giggled. "Ahhh. You were right, Tori. Nothing's more satisfying than leaving an impact on a child's life." She reasoned. "Especially when you can do that by bench-pressing them."

"I am amazed at how quickly you connected to them." Ms. Cheerilee said with a happy smile, nodding her head in agreement as Toriel nodded as well. "You're clearly a natural gym teacher."

"Well, it's my job as the current Head of Asgore's Royal Guard to decide what weenies get into the guard. Drilling them into shape! Kicking butt, taking names! The louder I yell, the more they'll learn!" She laughed. "Well, actually, it's really about the stick." She said, wagging a clawed finger in the air. "I'm a very carrot and stick approach...though mostly 80% stick."

"When do you use the carrot?" Cheerilee inquired.

"When I'm cooking, of course." Undyne remarked cheerily. "Nah, I'm almost all stick there too! I use the carrot when I can tell a student isn't ready for the full treatment. Papyrus used to get the carrot a lot." She added with a sigh. "He was just too...nice...to be in the royal guard. But now it's good to see that he's unlocked his full potential by focusing his gifts! Now..." Undyne struck a pose. "To go join the kids! Hup hup hup!" She took off running, Toriel giggling a little as she and Cheerilee turned, seeing Alphys slightly hiding behind a nearby bush.

"Oh, Alphys, why are you hiding?"

"Sorry. Force of habit." The yellow-scaled, dinosaur-esque monster nervously remarked with a small smile. "I'll go talk to her after she's done. But I also wanted to see you too, Ms. Toriel. How have you been?"

"I've thoroughly enjoyed teaching here for the ponies in Equestria." Toriel admitted with a big smile. "It's always heartening to see others willing to learn what I have to impart, and I've worked out an exhaustive curriculum with Cheerilee. Tomorrow the children will be learning about mathematics. Tragically, many of them find it boring, so I devised a way to get them interested."

"How?"

Toriel whipped out a basket of scones, grinning from fuzzy ear to fuzzy ear, Cheerilee clasping her hooves together in delight. "I have about...thirty scones. I think it's a simple matter of division and subtraction! With the end result naturally becoming zero." She laughed, Alphys smiling in agreement as Cheerilee trotted off to go join Undyne in the laps. It was FUN to run around, hooting about how great you were. However, the good times were soon over as a very-serious-looking Princess Luna descended from the skies, Fluttershy by her side as they quickly raced over to Alphys, Toriel staring in surprise. "Oh! Your majesty."

"Your majesty." Princess Luna responded in turn with a calm nod back.

"Oh, I'm not the queen anymore." Toriel remarked with a shake of her head. "Those days are behind me, I believe. But you look as though you've seen a ghost. Whatever is the matter?"

Fluttershy tapped her hooves together, head slightly bowed, pink mane sloughed down. "Um...we think that an imposter Sans has kidnapped Frisk!" She managed to blurt out.

"We worried it might be a changeling, but changeling magic is a distinctly sickening green color, and this was a deep, royal blue that we saw the imposter using to lift Frisk up." Princess Luna added, Toriel having dropped the basket of scones as they scattered all about the floor, the words "Kidnapped Frisk" making her mouth hang open so wide you could have fit a beach ball into it. Alphys began quivering, almost having a panic attack as Princess Luna continued, sweat dribbling down Alphys's brow as the words "Magic" and "Royal blue" began to echo in her mind. "Is there a monster that can imitate people's appearance-"

"Royal Blue Magic?" Alphys whispered out, eyes going wider and wider.

She could hear the music echoing out from the room, and walked down the long, dark green hallway. A guitar was playing a fairly simple, and very iconic chord, an all-too-familiar voice echoing out through the laboratory as she got closer and closer. Pushing open the set of double doors ever-so-slightly, Alphys peeked inside, an enormous bony mass rising up higher and higher, growing larger and larger as pieces were added to it, all suspended in a royal blue aura of pure, raw power.

Her dear friend was playing away at the grey guitar, a red headband around his head twisting about as he played harder and harder, the chords now joined with riffs, the song getting progressively more metal. The bony pieces began to form into a more definite shape, that of a gigantic, huge skull that was very bestial in design, almost draconic in its visage as he sang loudly and proudly, a look of clear joy on his bony face. A black line rose up from his right eye, going up his skull whilst another line rose down from his left eye, down to his mouth as he toothily grinned.

"And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun for the people who are still aliiiiiive!" W.D Gaster sang out. "GASTER." Alphys realized, Toriel's body stiffening as her eyes widened as well, Alphys's claws flying to her cheeks. "Oh my God oh my God oh my God!"

"Gaster...Sans, the real Sans, mentioned him. He was their brother, the former Royal Scientist, correct? We heard he was scattered across time and space." Fluttershy asked, clearly confused as she tilted her head to the side, Princess Luna looking from Toriel to Alphys as Alphys adjusted her glasses.

"Yes, Gaster was the former royal scientist before me, and Sans and I both worked alongside him. He was brilliant, REALLY brilliant! Also kind of a goof sometimes. Guess it runs in the family." The dinosaur-esque monster sighed. "And yeah, he used to be with us until he fell into his machine, a device we had made to time travel. We wanted to use it to go back in time and prevent the Monster/Human War from ever happening, but there was an accident and he got scattered. But royal blue magic...nobody else could lift people but Sans and Paps, let alone have magic tinted like that!"

"I cannot believe I just...forgot about him." Toriel murmured. "He was so dear to us, especially before the War."

"What was life like before the war?" Princess Luna inquired, Toriel now looking very, VERY guiltily down.

"Well, er...Asgore's father had...that is, Dr. Gaster was the Royal Scientist for HIM to, and was asked to study human souls and prove whether the old legend we'd had passed down from our ancestors was true. He wanted to learn if monsters could absorb souls. Before it wasn't something we knew we could really do, it was just a myth to us, but then-" Toriel flinched.

"Ohhhh." Princess Luna cringed at the implication. "Oh MY."

"How...how did he remove the souls?" Fluttershy asked.

Silence from the two monsters as they quietly and nervously looked away, Princess Luna sighing sadly. "I shall not judge you. I did awful things myself when I allowed resentment and hatred into my heart and became Night Mare Moon. I almost caused 1000 years of darkness and doomed all of Equestria. We've all done things we regret and wish we could take back."

"Indeed, we have." Toriel quietly sighed. "But I cannot let Gaster harm my child. Do you know where he took him?" She asked.

"Not exactly..." Fluttershy quietly admitted as she bit her lip. "But we thought we could ask you two, see if you knew anything about him that could help us learn about where he might go."

"If you truly were his friend for so long, he might try to reach out to you, would he not?" Princess Luna asked of Alphys as she nodded, slightly wringing her hands. "And if so...I have a plan."

...

...

...

... "Sans" approached Alphys as she sat on a bench in the park, sipping on some soda, trying not to look worked up as he sat down next to her. "heya, Alphys. how's it hangin'?"

"Oh, I'm fine! How are you?" She asked in her slightly nasally voice, cringing a bit.

"...fine myself."

"Fine, fine. It's good that you're fine."

"yeeeep." "Yes, we're both feeling fine. It's fine to feel fine isn't."

"yes, it's...it's fine."

"Yes, we're both feeling fine! Yep! Both! Feeling! Fine!" Alphys said with a big smile, quivering slightly as "Sans" calmly waited. One...two...

"GAAAAH!" She groaned out, hanging her head. "I feel sick!"

"you think I can't tell when you're lying to me?" Gaster's voice rang out from Sans's form. "Alphys, come with me. You can have it done willingly or by force. Your choice."

"Just tell me where Frisk is." Alphys mumbled softly, head bowed as "Sans" took her shoulder and patted it.

"I haven't harmed him, I assure you. Now..."

A blink, a woosh, shooting through a tunnel of stars...and then, there they were, in Princess Luna and Celestia's old castle, Gaster now in his true form as he waltzed over to the sleeping Frisk, who was lying down on a nearby table as he gestured at the boy. "I've got both Papyrus and Sans within me, their entire being helping to constitute myself. With you and the human, all the pieces of me will be complete. I'll no longer be a shell of myself, Alphys. Can you understand how lonely it feels, just helpless, barely able to do anything but...watch? Watch as everyone forgets about you, and all that you did amounts to near nothing? To know that despite how hard you worked to help others, they remember nothing of you?"

"That is just not true." Alphys said, shaking her head. "They DO remember. I know Sans does. He even told a bad pun about you, Doctor."

"Do not stand on ceremony, Alphys, we've known each other for decades, you needn't call me-" Gaster stiffened as he suddenly swept towards "Alphys", and held a hand up, her body shrouded in Blue as her soul was made manifest...

"I THOUGHT you were a bit too light when we were teleporting. Who are you really?" He asked the imposter as the charade faded away in a soft burst of starlight, and Princess Luna now stood there, tall and proud.

"The others were told to hone in on me when my illusionary spell faded. They shall be here shortly." She reasoned. "Let the child and those you have absorbed go."

"I only want to be whole again." Gaster reasoned. "You should understand. You were locked away within yourself, helpless, unable to do naught but watch as Night Mare Moon made use of your body." He quietly intoned, his eyes slightly narrowing as he paced around her, sliding smoothly like a snake. "Imagine a world where everything functions perfectly without you. Where you are less than nothing. Where you are HELPLESS and able to do nothing but watch. You endured that. And you'd condemn me!?"

"No. What happened to you was wrong. Don't take it out on an innocent." Night Mare Moon insisted.

"Take it out? The process isn't painful." Gaster cooed. "It's actually quite pleasant, if not slightly surprising. Come...let me demonstrate!" He proclaimed, shooting towards her, black shadows stretching off his body as Luna's horn lit up. Bluish/purple light coalesced around it as she erected a shield, the shadows trying to pierce through it like needles trying to pop a bubble. Gaster rose high, high into the air before he held his long arms up, slamming them down on the shield just as Luna shot forth, slamming into his chest and knocking him back.

The shadows of his body caught him and re-righted him as she launched waves of blue and purple magic at him, Gaster sliding left and right as he grinned, giving her a small wink. "Do you believe I am going to stand there and let you hit me? No." He remarked, making gestures with his hands as bones shot from the ground, cascading towards her like a landslide. Luna flew up, up through the air as he made more odd gestures with his hands, the bones shooting at her as he shook his head back and forth. "You are only delaying the inevitable." He quietly sighed.

"Let them g-go!"

He turned, seeing Alphys was sitting atop of a yellow-furred pony, Toriel standing nearby as she folded her arms over her chest, Gaster lowering the shadows that were raised on their hackles around him, looking them over. "Ahh, you came, Alphys. You, Papyrus, Sans, Frisk..." Gaster said, clapping his hands as he shifted from himself to Papyrus, then Sans, then back to his normal form as he bounced his head back and forth. "All the pieces...pieces...pieces of me."

"Doctor, we know you want to be whole again." Toriel said softly, Frisk letting out a quiet moan as he rose up from the table. He hadn't been having any nightmares since Gaster had taken him, but he was still shocked out of his mind to see Gaster standing tall in front of the others. "But you needn't harm others to be happy. And absorbing them into yourself is taking away their freedom. It isn't right to harm others in the name of freeing others, that's the very thing I fought against."

"My former majesty, please understand. I am a shell of my former self. An echo. This is the only way to regain my form." Gaster spoke longingly.

"Not necessarily." Alphys offered. "Toriel has something that could help. We just needed Princess Luna to stall you."

Toriel launched something through the air, Gaster catching it in one bony, holed hand...looking down at the Lazarus Lapis in his grip as his body was bathed over in the green healing magic within. His eye sockets filled with the light, growing larger and larger, letting out a gasp as Sans and Papyrus slid out from the folds of his cloaked jacket, flopping onto the grassy floor below as Princess Luna quickly pulled them away, Frisk ducking under the table...

And then everything went white, and Frisk now saw Dr. Gaster standing alone in a dark abyss, his back turned, head slightly bowed as Frisk approached, nervously holding out a hand and taking the skeletal monster's cloak. "Um...mister Gaster?"

"...doctor." Doctor Gaster said, his voice having the less harsh, rusty echo to it that it had possessed, yet still somehow haunting and faintly reverberating in the infinite abyssal expanse of black around them. "Dr. Gaster. And...would that this would be enough." He said, slowly turning around, revealing a small White heart floating right in his chest, Frisk gasping. It had been cut in half, and the other half connected to it was the stone itself, the heart faintly pumping as Gaster mournfully stared down at Frisk. "The Lazarus Lapis is designed to resonate with your Soul. To connect with it to bring back your physical body, and all that comes with it. But I only had half a soul. And that means only half the work is done. My physical form is returned, my abilities with them. But that...that is all."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth. "I am everything and nothing. Everywhere and nowhere. I can't...feel anything but echoes. Not even with this making up part of me."

"I'm sorry." Frisk said, gently hugging the doctor as the skeletal monster stiffened slightly before gently kneeling down, Frisk feeling him wrapping his cloak/jacket around him much like how Sans sometimes liked to do to tuck Frisk away, nice and snug.

"Ha ha...you know, that...that does make me feel better about this." The doctor quietly whispered, Frisk feeling something gently landing on his forehead. Drip...drop. Drip...

Drop...

Drip...

...drop.

"Thank you."

A gentle, soft warmth spreading over him, as the infinite black settled in...

"...please. Forget about me."

And then Frisk was back in the castle with the others as they slowly rose up, rubbing their heads as they looked around, Sans blinking slowly. "whuh...what just happened?"

"...I don't know where to begin." Frisk admitted, looking off in the distance, a white figure faintly similar to himself standing there before shifting, changing shape...vanishing into the distance.

...

...

...

... "So he's...gone?" Princess Celestia asked of Sans as he and Papyrus stood in the throne room, Celestia steepling her hooves, her face filled with concern as she looked back at them.

"we think he has his physical form back, but anything else is just...kinda not really there at all." Sans sighed. "he's a real nowhere man now."

"MY POOR BROTHER. I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO TO HELP. WHEN I WAS INSIDE OF HIM, I COULD FEEL AN ENDLESS SADNESS SWALLOWING ME..." Papyrus murmured, clutching himself, shivering slightly as he closed his eyes, Princess Celestia biting into her lip. This was a concern indeed.

"Someone who can teleport, become invisible, change shape...he could be anyone and anywhere." She whispered softly, Sans shrugging before suddenly shivering, feeling as though familiar eyes were upon him. He thought he saw a crack running up the eye of one of the guards on either side of the Princess, looking away and flinching. When he turned back, the guard was normal, and he sighed, a maid servant couple bringing in some cake for them, specially made by Muffet for the upcoming anniversary of Celestia and Luna's ascension to the throne. "We should keep an eye out for him. But for now, let us celebrate early. Celebrate having you two back with us. It would be horrible to lose two dear friends."

"yeah, probably best not to talk about Gaster for now." Sans said, a maidservant slicing off a piece of vanilla-frosted cake for him, giving him a slice that had a little pink rose on it as he gulped, swearing he saw a crack running up HER eye as well. Or was it on Papyrus's? Or Celestia's? Or his own reflection in the mirrors that lined the hall, or-

Sans shook his head. "yeah...better not. after all..."

He shuddered.

"it's rude to talk about someone who's listening."

[60b3r]

Memes Kill Creativity?

Memes vs. Genes

In the 1976 book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term 'meme' to describe something with symbolic meaning that spreads by imitation from person to person within a culture. This idea is an analogue to the nature of selfish gene, described similarly as a piece of genetic material possessing information required to be able to replicate themselves inside a living. The only key difference in both terms is that the gene is natural, while memes are artificial. The rest of memes' operating schemes completely mimic the genes perfectly. In our current timeline, memes as we know today are taking many forms: as image macros, short videos, and rick-rollicking music. Memes in imageboards and forums have been pushing internet porn traffic into a stalemate and putting our power grid into unnecessary burden. Of course, memes are not to be regretted, but otherwise need to be taken seriously, since they are able to put our current understanding of media industry and economic system into shame.

As with every other thing that have existed, memes are not exempt in its dualistic nature. If you ever venture to the depths of dark web, you may know that memes also took part in the infamous mimetic Tumblr-4chan War. Not only that, some memes are reportedly causing harm towards some users, even though it is often disguised or said to be a dank joke or mere sarcasm. Memes have seen its share of use in online bullying, mass shootings, and hate crimes, cowering behind the freedom of expression tag. Regardless, memes are also an extremely effective form of information transmission. Like all living systems with no set moral standards, memes do evolve and are subject to natural selection. Memes, like genes, actually work like a mindless machine. Again, this is eerily like the performance of DNA in living systems. The last thing we want from this thing is virulence.

Every day, something went viral on Twitter. Hashtags are flaring into the top trends, some videos are being watched billions of times, and another cat vs. cucumber pic garnered thousands of likes. Viral properties of a virus (duh) is defined as the capability to multiply quickly in relatively short amount of time. The term saw a huge increase in usage during the dawn of the internet age and the rise of computer malwares spread through unsecured ports of network protocol. This term is being applied to memes, as it is like a virus (which is a pure embodiment of a selfish gene). Now, a lot of people are utilizing memes to create art, because it enables them to cater the short-attention spans of current internet users. They create shorts, illustrations, inside jokes, and small comic strips. Some of you might not agree with me on this one, but stay with me now and I will explain to you why I would like to treat memes and art as a single unit of interest in this argument.

The dawn of meme-technology

Viral memes and their popularity are now often considered important in defining a time period in the internet culture. Now every netizen can somewhat distinguish the approximate age, sex, and political views of other users from the usage of rage comics, meme songs, and meme platforms they use. Intuitively we can make a generalized difference between the userbase of Reddit, 4chan, 9gag, Vine, and now Tiktok. Others, by the share of relatability with sub-genres of different areas of interest (film memes and game memes). Some others, even, in the perspectives of different social and economic class system (first world problems and third world success memes). Meme preferences to us netizens are ironically giving away our anonymous identity. Identity which the media companies are vying to get their hands on. That's where I would like to come into my opening argument: both memes and genes which originally possesses no intrinsic value, suddenly become a subject of value with technology.

How do we draw the logic, I say? The ones and zeros inside electrical systems are value-free, so does DNA in living cells. As we meddle ourselves with biotechnology to manipulate genetic material for profit, we also simmer ourselves in the computer sciences and tweak physical computation to perform better. We give value in the inanimate object by manipulating them. In our world, we often heard these expressions: that communication is key, sometimes silence is golden, and those who control the information wields the power. What’s these three statements have in common? Yes, information and expression. Memes are the simplest form of both. This is the beginning of the logic: memes are no longer in and on itself independent of external values. The infusion of utilitarian properties in memes as artificial constructs are seemingly inevitable, and for the better or worse shapes our current society.

We might have heard that somewhere somehow, the so called ‘global elites’ with their power and wealth are constantly controlling biotech research and information technology—or, in the contrary, they control these knowledge and resources to keep shovelling money and consolidate their power. Memes are one of their tools to ‘steer’ the world according to their 'progressive agenda', seemingly driving the world ‘forward’ towards innovation and openness. Nah, I am just joking. But, stay with me now. It is actually not them (the so-called global elites) who you should be worried about. It is us—you and I, ourselves—and our own way of unwittingly enjoying memes that are both toxic and fuelling the age-old capitalism. Funny, isn't it? We blame society, but we are society. But how are be becoming the culprits yet also be the prey at the same time?

Middle-class artists are hurt

Now, aggressive marketing tactics using memes are soaring. Media companies are no doubt cashing in the internet and viral memes to their own benefit. Streaming and cataloguing are putting up a good fight compared to their retail, classic ways of content delivery. This is quite true with the strategies of Spotify and YouTube, other media companies alike. They can secure rights to provide high-quality content from big time artists and filmmakers and target these works directly to the end consumer, effectively cutting the cost of distribution which usually goes to the several layers of distribution line like vinyl products, radio contracts, and Blu-ray DVDs. I believe this is good, since it is like an affirmative action for amateur artists to start a career in the art industry. Or is it? Does it really encourage small-time artists to begin? Yes. How about the middle-class artists? Not necessarily.

You might sometimes wonder, “how the hell did I get somewhere just by following the trending or hot section in the feed?”. This toxicity of memes often brings some bad things to our tables. Social media algorithms handle contents (like viral memes) by putting those with high views or likes to the front page, effectively ‘promoting’ the already popular post and creating a positive feedback cycle. By doing so, they could capitalize on ad profits on just few ‘quality’ contents over huge amounts of audience in a very short amount of time. The problem is most of the time, these ‘quality’ contents have no quality at all. They just happen to possess the correct formula to be viral, with the correct SEO keywords and click-bait titles with no real leverage in the art movement. This way, I often find both the talented and the lucky—of which the boundaries between them are always blurred—overshadow the aspiring ‘middle-class’ artists who work hard to perfect their craft.

If you are already a famous guitarist with large fanbase, lucky you, you are almost guaranteed to top the billboards. What, you have no skills? Post a video of you playing ‘air guitar’ and… affirmative actions to the rescue. Keep on riding the hype wave and suddenly you get to top trending with minimal effort, thanks to your weird haircut. Those haters will surely make a meme out of your silly haircut, not even your non-existent guitar skills. But still, hype is still a hype, and there’s no such thing as a bad publication. This also answers why simple account who reposts other people’s content could get much more followers than the hard-working creators. Not only being outperformed by the already famous artists taking social media by storm, now the ‘middle-class’ artists are also dealing with widespread content theft and repost accounts because of the unfair, bot grading system. It is unimaginable how many nobodies got the spotlight they don’t deserve just because they look or act stupid and the whole internet cheers around them. Remember, this is not always about the artist, but also the quality of the art itself. I believe a good art should be meaningful to the beholder.

Why capitalism kills creativity

The problem in current art industry is that we are feeling exhausted with the same, generic, and recycled stuff. We indeed already see there’s less discourse about art now. Sure, the problem lies not in the artist or medium, but is in the viewers—the consumer of the art form—and how the capitalist system reacts to it. The hyper efficient capitalist system doesn’t want to waste any more time and money trying to figure out what’s new or what’s next for you. What we love to see, what is familiar to us, the market delivers them. The rise of viral memes phenomenon in the social media pushes the market system to the point where they demand artists to create the same, redundant, easy art form. Listen to some of The Chainsmokers’ work and we'll see what music have become: the identical 4-chord progression, the same drop, the predictable riser, and the absence of meaningful lyrics. We sat down and watch over the same superhero movies trying hard to be the next Marvel blockbuster. The production companies are also happy not to pay writers extra to come up with new ideas and instead settle with borrowed old scripts from decades old TV drama. Disney's The Lion King and its heavy use of the earlier Japanese Kimba The White Lion storyline is one guilty example.

Despite it initially being an economic system and not a political ideology, it is untrue that many Marxist philosophers usher the suppression of art. While it is ironic that Stalinist policy intends to curb ‘counter-revolutionaries’—in this case his enemies—by limiting freedom of press and media; American propaganda added further so that it seems that the ideology is also limiting art and kill creativity. We all know the Red Scare in the U.S. during the Cold War saw a popular narrative of communism and socialism that is devoid of freedom of expression. This state propaganda then further become ‘dehumanization’ and make freedom of expression invalid under the guise of equality. Marx argue that total equality is not possible, and the uniqueness is being celebrated by having them doing what they do best and provide the best for their community. Thus, an individual's interests should be indistinguishable from the society's interest. Freedom is granted when the whole society is likely to benefit from an action. According to Mao in his Little Red Book, freedom of expression in art and literature, after all, is what initially drive the class consciousness. It is capitalism, not communism, that kills creativity.

If left unchecked, the threat of this feedback loop is going to cause a lack of diversity, resulting in stale content, less art critique, and overall decline in our artistic senses. Artists’ creativity that are supposedly protected by the free internet are destroyed within itself through the sheer overuse of viral memes. Capitalism has successfully turned the supposedly open, free-for-all, value-free platform that is the internet against the people into a media in which they are undeniably shaping new values on its own: the art culture that's not geared towards aesthetics and appreciation, but towards more views and personalized clicks. How social media and media industry caters to the demands of the consumer are, in Marx's own words, “digging its own grave”.

Spare nothing, not even the nostalgia

Well, people romanticize the oldies. The good old days, when everything is seen as better and easier. Look at the new art installations that uses the aesthetics of naughty 90s graphic design to become new, the posters released in this decade but with an art deco of the egregious 80s pop artist Andy Warhol, or the special agent-spy movies set frozen in the Nifty Fifties. Nostalgia offers us a way to escape from the hectic choices of our contemporary: different genres of music, dozens of movies to watch, and different fashion to consider. We choose to settle with our old habits, that we know just works. Remember how do we throw our money on sequels and reboots and remakes of old movies we used to watch during our younger days? We don’t even care about new releases at the cinema! Did you remember how Transformers 2 and their subsequent sequels perform at the box office at their opening week?

The huge sales of figurines and toys of Star Wars franchise—if we could scrutinize them enough—came from the old loyal fanbase of the late Lucasfilm series, not primarily from new viewers. Then suddenly, surprise-surprise. Our love for an old franchise deemed dead enough to be remembered and treasure soon must be destroyed to pave way for three new outrageous sequels (the ones with Kylo Ren and Snoke) by the grace of our beloved capitalism. Sadly, nothing is left untouched by the capitalism’s unforgiving corruption. Nostalgia has become a gimmick that makes people like some art more than they should, because it’s familiar. It is another way of squeezing your pocket dry.

Not that it is bad to make derivatives like covers or remixes, but the trade-offs are far too high. Consequentially, the number of original arts is now very little, because artists don’t bother making new stuff if they just aim for a quick buck. Most of the young adult novels are essentially the same lazy story progression with only different time setting and different character names. Most of them even have the same ending! No more a beautiful journey like the thrillers of Dan Brown or the epic adventures of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, which defines their respective times. Do we seriously want to consider Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey as a unique work? Isn’t the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner essentially the same?

If you play video games, you must have known that the trend always starts over. Game developers are making gazillions of sequels, and only a few of them that are actually good. Most are outright trash. Oh, wait, old video games like Homeworld are also getting remasters to cater the demand of nostalgic consumers. No new Command and Conquer release from EA Games? Re-release the 25 years old Red Alert because people will re-buy it! Profit!

15 June 2020 8.03 PM

[reallylonglies]

Taylor Swift - Demon Hunter: Part 1

It was when she had me in the headlock that I began to wonder if I might have struck a nerve.

Was it something I said?

I thought back through everything I had said to her that day.

“You look nice today.”

Wasn’t that.

“Have you done something different with your hair?” 

Pretty standard conversational fare, shouldn’t provoke this kind of reaction.

“Your boyfriend is a fire demon, and you need to exorcise him.”

I thought it might be that but then who can tell with teen girls, honestly? 

“Why are you mad?” I asked her, or at least tried to ask her. My voice was a little strained because her elbow was tightening on my throat and her hair was hanging over my face so that every time I inhaled I got a mouthful of it. 

“Why are you in my dressing room?” 

Oh, yeah. Maybe it wasn’t even the fire demon thing, maybe I was just intruding. Suddenly it all made sense. Mystery solved. Case closed. 

I made some strangled noises and tried to spit out a clump of blondeness but it wasn’t going to work. Country singers have big hair and now a good solid third of hers was clogging my airways. She was going to have to let me go if I was going to explain.

“You’re going to have to let me go for me to explain,” I whispered gently into her thoughts. It’s just mild telepathy, nothing fancy. I don’t have a nosebleed whenever I do it or anything.

She dropped me and shouted an expletive. It was uncouth, I was shocked and taken aback. You don’t hear that kind of language in the other realms.

“You can’t be shocked and taken aback, you’re the one who broke into my dressing room,” she shouted, her eyes had narrowed to thin slits of rage.

Perfect, I thought, we can use this.

“Use what? Who the hell are you?”

“See, this is why I don’t use the telepathy thing - once I get into the swing of it I start sharing thoughts I don’t want to and before long everyone knows where I’m going for lunch and there’s a queue for the burrito bar. It’s like inception. Suddenly everyone wants a burrito and I’m left at the back of the queue where the burritos are just wet tortillas filled with cold rice and the memory of beef.”

She kicked me in the face. She has really long limbs. 

“I will admit I should have explained myself better.”

“Yes.” 

She folded her arms and looked at me. There was an awkward silence before I realised it was now time to explain myself better.

“Have you ever heard of muses?” 

“Like the Greek myth?” 

“No, not the band. The Greek myth, you know, this is why my job has been hell since 1994… Oh, wait, you said myth didn’t you? That is the correct answer… That doesn’t happen often. Imagine if those muses were like the Greek myth except also they’re fire demons that possess men of influence and try to trick them into forming a global government of badness that will bring about the fall of mankind.”

“So not really like the muses at all then?” I liked her sarcasm, it was spunky, she’d need that in the hellscape. Demons love spunkiness.

“There are nine of them, plus assorted demons and servants. Can I move on to the good part?” 

“Is that the part where you leave my dressing room before I call the cops?” 

“No. It’s the part where I tell you that you, Taylor Alison Swift, are a Lightning Rod.” 

They never react the way that I want them to. It’s not like telling someone they’re a wizard and they get to go to wizard school. Tell someone that and suddenly you’re like their best friend in the world: it’s all fun and laughter and shopping for owls. Tell someone they’re a kind of magical exorcist and the fate of the world depends on them and suddenly you’re the bad guy. 

“Yeah, I’m calling security.” 

“Wait, wait, wait!”

She paused, her hand hovering over the phone. 

“Listen.” 

She did, I saw her eyes, once angry slashes of rage, grow wide. 

“What is that?” 

“That’s me. You can hear me.”

“No, it’s like music. Like a melody.”

“It’s the sound of me disturbing the dimensions by being here, you can hear it because you’re a Lightning Rod, Taylor,” I always feel weird about this bit, sometimes they can smell us, sometimes they can taste us on the air, but every once in a million years there’s one that can hear it. Every one of us, demons, sprites whatever, we have our own little tune. We know each other’s, but Lightning Rods don’t have them because they’re technically mortal. It’s like having someone who hates the internet scroll through your Instagram and tut. I think that’s what it’s like. I don’t show up in photos so Instagram’s not really my bag. Stupid demon laws. 

“What’s a lightning...thing?” she asked, her eyes a little misted as she concentrated on my tune. 

“It’s a kind of exorcist. The muses are drawn to you. You’re like catnip...Demon-nip if you will.”

Her gaze snapped back to me, fire in her eyes again.

“What does that mean, am I in danger?” she asked. She didn’t sound afraid, more angry, like this whole thing was just some big inconvenience to her.

“No danger,” I said, “If you let me train you.” 

“Ugh,” she sank into a chair, “Fine.”

********************************

New York, midnight. Rain falls. 

He cracks open his hotel room door and stumbles in. He doesn’t feel good. Who would, in his condition? 

“Hello John,” she whispers gently as the storm outside throws light across her face. She’s draped in a chair with it’s back to the corner of the room. The dress he left her in is gone, and she’s dressed all in black. A hood obscures most of her face. 

“I thought I just…” his drunken vision swirls to the hotel door. His memory takes him back on a stumbling journey through the lobby, out into the street, crying girl in a dress. 

“You left me to make my own way home, John,” she said. Her lips were blood red. 

“How did you…” he was on the 20th floor. The elevator had taken ten minutes. 

“I’m in good shape, John,” she looked at him, she was holding something silver and small. He wanted to look at her, and at the same time he wanted to close his eyes tight until she was gone.  

“What do you want?” with a sudden wave of discomfort he realised how much she was scaring him, this wide-eyed nineteen year old girl whose heart he’d been toying with. He looked around the room, she’d taken the mirror off of the wall above the mantlepiece, it was leaning against the fireplace. She’d scratched something into its surface. “What did you do with the mirror?”

“Do you remember when he came to you? He said he’d help you and you shook his hand, and you never saw him again.”

“What are you talking about?” he didn’t like her voice, it sounded different: powerful.

“And even though you never knew his name, you always remember that after that encounter everything started going right,” she stood up, her clothes were wet from the rain. She held out her hand, her nails sparkled. 

He didn’t want to touch her but something in him was compelled to reach out. 

Before he knew what was happening he was on his knees, her arm was tight around his throat and she was pressing something cold against his head. 

“Look up,” she said, wrenching his neck so his face was opposite the mirror. He did not expect what he saw. Two faces fought against each other on the surface of his skull. One moment he recognised his own deep set eyes, his square jaw. The next second, a different face, rounder, with odd, taught features seemed to pull against his skin and try to gain prominence. 

“Get out,” she said, but as he tried to get away from her she wrenched his body back into position, “Not you John.” 

She pressed the silver object harder into his skin, it hurt like hell. Something inside him was tearing. To his horror, the face in the mirror began to speak. 

“You can’t beat me Swift, they’ve all tried - even Aniston gave it her best shot, he likes having me here.”

“Sure,” she said, her grip tightening, “But how many of them knew your tune.”

She whistled. Two brief, one long, and then two more quick notes. Rising and descending in pitch like a small hill of sound. 

Something felt like it was splitting within him. Like his skin was pulling away from his whole body and falling backwards. In the mirror he watched as something horrifying emerged from his limp frame. She let him fall to the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes.  

“You’ve had your fun with him, asshole,” she said, and kicked the mirror hard. It shattered and burst into flames. 

He woke in a cold sweat. The mirror hung above the fireplace. 

A nightmare.

**************

“I just don’t think it’s fair to name-check him,” I said, reclining in an armchair. I liked her home studio. It was warm, my office in the Inbetween is cold and damp and the demon who sits next to me smells of actual brimstone. 

“Why?” she said, strumming her guitar pensively, “His demon, his song. Doesn’t the world get to know what he did?” 

“The demon or the man?”

“Both,” she stopped strumming and bowed her head, “Is it the muses that make them all assholes or do I have just awful taste.” 

“Look,” I said, putting on my most authoritative voice, “You’re the best in the business. You’re a talented exorcist. I hear back at the office they’re even making a pamphlet about you for us to give to the next generation of Rods. You’ll be an inspiration.”

“That is not an answer to my question,” she said, putting her guitar back into its stand and spinning around in her chair, “I’ve heard of guys battling their inner demons but I never knew I would be the one that had to do all the vanquishing. It’s exhausting.”

I always came to watch her record the songs. There was something exciting about watching the lights flicker and the room shake as she trapped a demon in a melody. She was the first aural Rod since the invention of recorded sound, this innovation was helping us keep some real pieces of work at bay in her pieces of work. 

As she hit that first line of the chorus I felt the ground quiver below me. Fabulous, a real spectacle. Something worth manifesting for. 

[weepylucifer]

k so, i don’t usually do this sort of thing at all, but here’s me, dissecting The Max Landis Tweet. thoughts:

big bad universe destroying Amanda:

is it bad form to start an analysis with a resounding Fuck This? my professors say so yes. but honestly, Amanda was the character whose progress i was most invested in. her going from being scared to leave her house bc of her illness to joining a family of punk-rock vampires who adore her, learning magic and kicking general ass was a huge thing for me, a shut-in with multiple mental and physical health issues. Season 2 Amanda is who i aspire to be. i don’t know what this little rat man meant by “destroying” but if he planned for her to fucking die it would be a slap in the face of many fans and me personally and i wouldn’t actually want that content. the universe as a “big bad” tho? interesting ramifications there. like what if the force behind the interconnectedness wasn’t actually benign in nature? weird.

Dirk/Assistent romance:

hhh??

i’m all in favor of Dirk being in romance with a dude, and i don’t really care about brotz/ly so... okay. that the love interest was to be Assistent is sort of out of left field, and i half believe that it’s a joke (M*x L*nd*s did this sort of thing before, remember? this is how Friedken was born). for it to be true, Assistent would have to switch sides I guess?? and get a lot more character development. It would’ve been sort of cool for Amitai Marmorstein, who seems like a real cool guy

Todd reforming the Mexican Funeral:

why not! i Am kind of peeved that we never got a scene of Todd playing the guitar. It would’ve been cool to have a concert scene with Dirk and Farah in the audience having a great time!

Ken and Bart villain team:

i’m ambivalent on that one. could’ve been cool. could’ve been really really bad.

Omnipotent Friedkin:

i hope that was meant to be “for a given value of omnipotent”. truly all-powerful characters are hard to handle in storytelling bc they are equipped to solve all the other characters’ problems with no suspense. it’s a “why didn’t they fly to Mordor on the eagles” situation. i wouldn’t really want for Hugo Friedkin to become the Eagles of Manwe.

BUT ALSO my boy has become unto a god!!!! He is Hugo, Vessel of the Universe, patron saint of soldiers, twunky underwear models and Really Dumb People. i am building a shrine as we speak,

Farah joining Blackwing:

uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what universe is this?? i mean i guess the whole “i always wanted to work in law enforcement” thing had to go Somewhere, but why there? if this wasn’t meant to be a double agent thing, or Blackwing itself becoming good somehow, i reiterate, I Don’t Want This Content. turning Both your main POC to evil is sort of?? not really tonally sensitive right now?? okay tf it’s racist. at best, it’s inadvertently... racist. besides! i always found it an... Interesting Character Choice to have Farah be all Miss Gun Culture and Miss Law Enforcement. like come on, in this time and place? like correct me if i’m saying something stupid. lord knows i’m not exactly the most qualified person to speak on the topic. but Farah isn’t dumb, like the other Gun Culture Character on this show. her... worship of law enforcement always struck me as sort of weird like, it’s a weird choice on the writers’ part. just me saying that tho.

Concluding Remarks:

a lot of this feels like a joke. or like Max L*ndis was saying some things he knew the fandom would hate in a sudden fit of “taking you down with me”. like he’s lurking on The Discourse that this will undoubtedly cause like he has just burned this whole joint down and salted the earth on which his creation stood. that might also just be me being paranoid here.

maybe all of this just looks extremely weird and/or bad bc it’s out of context. maybe the season 3 script was... bad, and it really had all the main women being torn down, all the main POC turning evil, and Dirk hooking up with a guy who works at the prison camp he used to be an inmate in. the only person who seems to get any significant positive development is... Friedkin. and honestly, if you know me, you know i’m possibly the most pro-Friedkin person on the planet, but c’mon, that ain’t right. you can’t just go and do this just because Dustin Milligan is shaped like a friend.

also: nothing on the, you know... other business. neither from Landis himself, nor from anyone associated with him, nor from Akana or anyone associated with her, nor from any victims. an Explanation from literally anyone at this point would be nice i think.

[kim95taee]

Chapter 2: Unexpected Encounter

Silent Melody          

A singer.

A song writer.

A broken violinist.

A charismatic trainee.

Four friends tied together by music, but what happens when one loses the sweet sound of a melody?

     A new day begins with the sun peeking through the shades, violently informing Chanyeol that he needs to wake up. He lets out a soft groan while he rubs his tired eyes then lets out a satisfying yawn. Reaching over for his Samsung Galaxy S7, he taps the home button only to be met with a pile of notifications. One email stands out from the rest.

“Park Chanyeol. I did not receive your pop quiz from yesterday. Be reminded that this is the first major grade of the semester. Please come to my office, during my listed hours, at your earliest convenience to turn that in. – Professor Song”

     That email sends Chanyeol flying towards his bag and scampering through multiple papers within his many folders. He also finds on the syllabus that she leaves her office at 12 p.m. With the time being 11:27, he knew that he needed to get a move on, if he was ever going to make it on time. The young man runs to his closet to throw on a new shirt and pair of pants, grabs his bag and guitar, then immediately turns to dash out of the house.

     His phone buzzes through his back pocket as he swerves in and out of people at the subway station. Waiting for the metro, he pulls out his phone and notices on the board that the train will arrive soon.  When it does, he is the first one to jump on and grab a seat, then goes on to check the time on his phone. 11:34. The young man sighs in relief as the train makes its departure.

     Coming to a stop, Chanyeol darts off to the exit that leads in the direction to his college campus. The sky shines with a bright blue while clusters of clouds are painted against it. Sweat forms on the speedy student as he bursts through building doors, zooming past many in the process. He finally arrives at the door of his professor then checks the time once again. 11:58. Before stepping in, he collects himself and takes a quick wipe at his sweat then knocks on the door before entering. Walking in, he scans the room to find a completely dark and vacant room. He turns to run outside the back entrance, hoping to see if he is able to spot his professor.

     Walking down the steps to the parking lot, he notices a rather thin woman getting further away. She wears a high pony tail with grey business clothes, and carries her blazer over her left forearm. Knowing that if he does not move quicker, he will miss her. Chanyeol takes a deep breath then makes one final sprint before calling out to her. “Professor Song. Wait, don’t leave yet. Please.”

     Immediately turning around to the shout from behind, the young woman turns around to find one of her favorite students, out of breath, making his way over to her. The boy makes a gradual stop then bends over to take a few seconds to catch his breath. Professor Song leans on her right leg comfortably as she peers her view downwards at him, noticing his guitar that hangs on his right shoulder.

“Cutting it a bit close… Wouldn’t you say Park Chanyeol?” The young professor grabs a new water bottle out of her bag to hand to him, then waits for him to receive it.

“Thank you…” He accepts the bottle with both hands before gulping it down.

“I noticed that I did not receive a submission from you, and so I sent an email last night, around 7,” She explains as he straightens his back as he hands her his quiz.

“I’m sorry that I neglected to turn it in yesterday. I had a rhythm in my head, and just had to get it down on paper.”

     She laughs softly and nods, knowing all too well that this is a regular routine for Chanyeol when an idea gets into his head. She adores his passion for music because it reminds her of her younger self. “Did you get it down in your book?”

With a satisfied nod, he looks down at her, considering that she is a good two feet below him in height.

“Thank you for accepting it, even past the due date,” He says as he begins to hand over the papers.

Mrs. Song looks up at him with her arms crossed with a stern expression, then reaches her hand out, to take the quiz. “You are lucky that your grades are high, because if you were a student who did not try; I would not be so lenient.”

He smiles happily and bows. “Thank you so much Professor Song!” She smiles and sticks the papers into her bag.

“It will be graded and uploaded by Monday. Now I have a meeting to attend. I will see you in class on Tuesday.” He nods and bows once again, thanking her for cutting him some slack.

The two depart and go their separate ways, Chanyeol takes this time to escape to the courtyard. While on his way, he makes his way through the halls of the Music Department and passes by his Theatre Professor on his way.

“Oh, Professor Kim.” The middle-aged man looks up from his notebook and makes eye contact with Chanyeol.

“Good Afternoon. Mr. Park. What are you doing on campus today?” The younger male chuckles softly and adjusts the guitar on his shoulder. Interrupted by a ding of the phone, the professor looks down at the device in his hand, reading a message that was sent through.

“Oh right… Hey, Chanyeol. I have a very important lunch that I cannot be late to. Could you go to the auditorium and drop off these papers with a woman named Minah? My wife and I are hosting an event at one of her hotels and it is crucial that they get delivered.”

Chanyeol froze and asked for the name again, but this time, with a little more detail. “Han Minah? From Han Corporations?”

The professor nods and cracks a smile. “That is correct. You know her, right?”

His knowledge is more than just knowing her name. Because, how could one forget their first love? 

     The young woman was arranged to become his sister-in-law; however, it did not stop him from falling for her. In the end, the deal was terminated due to his brother’s car accident. The other party discovered the terrible event through the news headlines that exploded throughout the whole country. Due to his regretful decision to drink and drive, Chanbin was left paralyzed from the waist down. Their parents’ companies would have gained a numerous amount of credentials as well as a business relationship that would benefit both parties. Since the accident, the father resented his son because the contract was broken and their ties were cut.

“I’ll take them,” The young man says as he reaches for the papers, which the professor sets in his grasp.

“Great, here is the key. Thank you and I’ll see you Monday.” Mr. Kim hands Chanyeol a lanyard with a couple keys that clink together as they dangle from it.

After the two men leave the hallway, Chanyeol clutches the keys in his hand as he makes his way to the auditorium.

     While only a few lights are on, it is not hard to see high ceilings that tower from above, and enough seats to accommodate thousands. Red curtains from hundreds of feet in the air swallow the stage. Chanyeol glances around the massive building in order to see if he can find Minah. Following the sounds of a young woman’s humming, he discovers her on the balcony, looking down at a thin book in her lap. Once he arrives on the upper level, his approach is slow and a bit hesitant. His hands shake uncontrollably when she suddenly lifts her head up.

“Oh, there’s the rebellious music major. Long time, no see, hm?”

The nervous boy gets a hold of himself and takes a deep breath before speaking. “It has been a while… How are you?”

Distracted from his original task, his mind is stuck on old feelings. The woman nods and stands, setting her purple Michael Kors purse down in the seat next to her.

“My, three years can do a lot, can’t it?” She says while giggling softly.

The male nods in agreement then looks down to notice a silver wedding band, perfectly wrapped around her slender finger. Trying not to choke on words, he is finally able to say, “Yes. Indeed, it sure can.”

Her gaze trails from his eyes to the papers in both of his hands. “What do you have there?”

Chanyeol gets knocked back to his senses as he hands her the documents. “Professor Kim asked me to deliver these to you. Due to an urgent matter, he could not do so himself.” She gladly takes them and slides them in her purse.

“That was sweet of you.” She takes a quick pause before checking the time on her watch.

“Well, I better get going.” She then leans down to grab her belongings before turning to him one last time. “It was good seeing you again.” With that, she takes her leave before him.

     Finally, able to catch his breath, Chanyeol sinks deep into one of the seats, allowing his head to lean back. The sound of a door shutting echoes throughout the room, signifying that she left. Old feelings flush in, making him let out a heavy sigh, when he suddenly hears a door opening from the other side. He raises a brow to the sound and wonders who might have walked in just now. Lights bleed onto the ground which brighten up the quiet stage. The sound of footsteps bounce off the walls from every direction, while making it difficult to find a primary source. For a couple seconds more, the steps continue with each one gradually getting louder. Suddenly, they come to a complete stop. Keys on a piano begin to bounce off the walls while ad-libs penetrate the air. As Chanyeol begins to lean upwards, he recognizes the song and is met by a young yet soulful voice that fills the room with its beauty. Defying Gravity.

Down in the dead center of the stage, playing the powerful instrument, sits the boy from the courtyard.

     Chanyeol jerks himself to sit up straight in his seat, looking down at the young male, whose skin glistens while light shines from above. A small smile erupts through his small yet perfectly shaped lips while his singing continues. The boy’s skin tone is as pale as paper which contrasts well with his short brunette locks. His stage presence is impeccable. Music does not just travel through this boy’s voice, but through his eyes, hands, legs, feet, head, and his soul. Lyrics are the guidelines that he follows, which allow him to escape into another world; to experience a different fate. To this boy, music is not just a fad or a current obsession. No, for music is much more to him. It resonates in his body and means something. The taller man could tell that much from the way the music was flowing through the passionate vocalist.

Unable to break his gaze, Chanyeol slowly comes to a stand as the younger male’s song comes to an end. He wraps the lanyard with the keys around his neck as his hands come together repeatedly, yelling down to the boy. “Wow… That was amazing! Wait there, I’ll come down.”

     The two make eye contact before Chanyeol begins to make his way down the stairs. However, upon his arrival, he discovers an empty stage. Not again… Turning his head in every direction possible, there is still no sign of the singer. How does he disappear that quickly? Chanyeol scans the upper level then explores every corner of bottom. Running up-and-down each aisle, he works up a sweat while doing so. Determined to find him, he runs backstage to check the dressing rooms. Unsuccessful at the end of his thirty-five-minute search, the tired male sighs in defeat and turns off the lights before walking out the main doors.

With a wave of the colossal red curtain, and a fixed stare on the doors, out steps the stranger with a voice but no name.

Previous: Chapter 1

Next: Chapter 3: Coffee Shop Discovery - Coming Soon (180206)

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION ½

The ideal figure that the guitarist who leads the band as a leader got while struggling, and the reason for his unstoppable pursuit. “When we released "CLEVER SLEAZOID", we were still chasing an ideal, and I think we didn’t reach it. We didn’t, but I feel that pursuing how we could do that, the power at that time, remains in it as something that could be only be produced at that moment. If you look at it now, I think it’s connected to reality”

Notes before reading: This is the first part of the personal interview of Kaoru from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August 2020.  The interview is 11 pages long and this part covers the first 6 pages. As Toshiya and Die’s interviews, 2nd part is focused on his roots as a guitarist and overseas experience. You can read Toshiya’s personal interview here You can read Die’s personal interview here

 You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan.

 Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

 Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) -------- Text by: Yohsuke Hayakawa The first to appear in this magazine is Kaoru, the guitarist who is also the composer of the latest single "Ochita koto ga aru sora”. Starting with the process of making the single, leading up to the completion of this new song, the days of struggling to pursue the ideal sound, the originality that they got from that, and the current band that has not changed from the past intense days. What I saw on him was, the figure of a stoic leader who bet on Dir en grey possibilities and devoted himself to it. Also in the latter half of the interview with the theme of “Albums that inspired you”, he did  not only  talk about X Japan and national legendary bands that changed his life, but he also talked enthusiastically about the unknown world that he learnt from Hide and Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi, who he is a fan of.  “I think there is something that can be challenged now” -First of all, I would like to ask you about the corona outbreak we are currently in, but it was impressive when you, with your own words, announced on SNS  a live without audience ‘The World You Live In” that was held in March with the message of  "it’s not the things that we can do now , it’s the things that only can be done now”. I thought the movements of DIR EN GREY with these rare activities and projects that entertained fans were summarized in those words. K: Well, that's right. There are things that can be done in the current limited situation, things that we wouldn't normally do, things that we didn't come to, and things that we can challenge now. There were quite a few things that were more like "Let's do it".  Regarding lives without audience, we don’t know how long this situation will keep going on but, under these circumstances, it wasn't that much at that point in time for us to perform live. We thought it would be a plus for what we are expressing and what we are going to express in the future. Also, we tried to do it in a moment in which you could feel something. -Including the streaming that came after that, I think there are many people who felt closer to DIR EN GREY. In particular, the livestream of talk between members (DIR EN GREY LIVE ARCHIVE & SPECIAL TALK) is a project that you wouldn’t had think of before, isn’t it? K: (laughs) We don't usually talk much. -(Laughs) Moreover, I thought that it was only now that we could see an appearance of the combination of Kaoru and Shinya acting ‘as usual’. K: Well, that's right (laughs). -Is that something that you could do now, 23 years after your formation as band? K: No (laughs), the main reason is to do it is the situation right now. If this weren't the case, I think the idea wouldn’t even come up. Normally there are live performances, so I'd like people to feel it there, but we can't do that now. Well, it’s just to entertain the fans, but after all we thought it would be nice if they could feel something similar to that, feeling excited by our presence. -I see. So, regarding the status of the announced the Pia Arena MM performances for the  tour final "The Insulated World -The Screams of Alienation-" in July, you probably were thinking about what do to about them until the very last minute. K: That's right. It was decided a few days before the announcement that the lives were canceled. Of course, we also made a set list, and the production side was also moving. The entirely staff were informed, and everything was working. I actually went to the venue and talked about how it would be possible to hold the lives in these conditions. However, there may be some people who couldn’t come no matter how much they tried to. There was also the risk of not knowing if you can do it until you start it. -I think it was canceled after assuming the kind of live performance that was possible to be held, but it was a really tough decision. K: Well, it couldn’t be helped. -Oh, in a nutshell. K: Yes, it couldn’t be helped, it couldn’t be helped. What we could do following the rules (the government guidelines) is the reason we couldn't do it. Tickets were sold in advance through the fanclub, but in fact, with the spreading of Corona on the way it already had a significant impact on sales. -Oh, that was what happened? K: Yes. So, in response to that, we even came up with the idea that all the arena would have seats not only the designed areas. We could do that by reducing the capacity in order to keep a social distance. That way, we also thought that we might be able to do it. However, there may still be some people who wouldn’t be able to come, and moreover, there were a lot of things that we couldn’t do in both days. Well, it was a half-way point situation. Therefore, there is no choice but when the situation calms down, to relocate the dates. -Under such circumstances, you said you were producing the single in parallel. K: Yes, we were planning to release it around the Pia Arena performances, so we have been working on it for some time. -And “Ochita koto ga aru sora” was completed. The original melody was composed by you but, the title was announced in May. I wondered if it was going to be a song that brings melancholic elements to the forefront. I was trying to imagine it. K: (Laughs) Ah, the atmosphere of the title. -Yes. The sound that we actually got is bursting with DIR EN GREY-ish aggression that explodes from the beginning including a grooved dragging guitar riff. So, to put it into words, I had the impression the style of DIR EN GREY was contained in a "super condensed" form. It's used in a kind of luxurious way, with the melody refrain being minimal by scraping off the excess. K: That’s right. This shape (final song) is like, we were really worried about it and it felt like it just got here. Along the way, there were elements that would make things more exciting, more piercing. There was more development.  However, we made it in that way, but I felt like “Well, I’m tired of it” (laughs). -Hahaha. K:  Rather, it doesn’t seem as interesting as usual. This is really…. words may not match…it’s somehow Japanese. I wasn’t satisfied with anything, so it felt more like I was speaking out my mind (laughs) I scraped it off though. -The reason why the song became very condensed is that all the members were looking in the same direction. K: Well, I don't know that. However, as my method, I don’t really decide (the direction) at the beginning. If you do that, the result will be in that shape and I prefer to explore the possibilities. Besides, because I don’t know if the rhythm really matches the melody or if the back-melody matches, there are many things to think about, so I don't want to decide at the beginning. Under such circumstances, I didn’t know what to do in the end.  Well, I settled on something that someone said, or something that inspired me, but it was hard to get to the point where I could see it.- -As a result, I feel that the single became very DIR EN GREY-like. K: Yes, that’s right. I was working on it while thinking that there was that “likeness”

-Did you imagine the development of this single with an impressive melody popping out even though it’s aggressive? I wonder if something like this come out naturally.

K: No. I didn’t really imagine that. Even if I try to imagine, there are things that I can’t imagine at all.

-So, how does the completed form of this song look to you?

K: This time I was arranging it all the time based on the data of the tentative/provisional  songs recorded at the beginning. So, with that, it was almost brought to this finished form. From that point on, Kyo sang again several times and changed it slightly but along with the melody from the beginning, it was made with that flow. However, there were setlists that each member made during this time, right? (”DIR EN GREY AUDIO LIVE STREAM 5 DAYS" that was broadcasted on YouTube in May).  As you could see there, there are various DIR EN GREY, right? On the other hand, I feel that whatever we do, it will probably feel like DIRENGREY-ish.

-Something that can be hidden anymore. There is something that oozes out.

K: Well, very much, as far as you don’t do something different. I was too worried. When I told the members that I didn’t know what to do, I was told ‘You don’t have to think so much about, right?”, so I was like ‘is that so?’. In the end, the song turned out like this (laughs).

“At that time, I kept struggling to find out how to get closer to the sound I envisioned.”

-Oh, that’s what they told you. As for the form of songwriting, you work remotely regardless of the corona, right?

K: Yes, that’s always the way. So, nothing was different than usual for us.

-The change was that you couldn’t go outside between work time.

K: That’s right. I was concentrated on it all the time.

-Always? (laughs) Then, in that situation, that a member told you to not think about too much, did those words make it easier for you?

K: Well, you can open yourself to new options like “well let’s do it this way a little more”. However, it’s something that I do all the time. Year after after, it’s not finished.

-It will take some time to complete the song.

K: It takes some time. After all, if it doesn’t become something interesting, I feel like what should I do. It takes time to move from the first stage, the members listening to it and go to the “let’s do this”.

-What’s that next step?

K: Listen to the demo songs together and decide to try one from the songs that are there.I think it’s necessary to put a song and drop the world view and the atmosphere of the song clearly at some point, but it takes a long time to get there.

-I think it’s difficult to express this stage in words, but it’s the key to make songs.

K: Yes, it’s quite difficult.

-However, this is also one  of the traits of  DIR EN GREY but, the chorus that enters at the key points is burning with passion. It seems like it’s going to look good live.

K: As I said before, Kyo is the one who puts the chorus, so it’s normal than the rest don’t know where the chorus is until we record it.

-It doesn’t matter how the guitar riff is going…

K: Yes. It doesn’t matter. That’s why we have to practice all the time during the rehearsal before the live performance. I’m the type of person who can’t do different things at the same time, so I skip it quite a bit (laughs)

-Hahaha. You leave it to the other two (Die and Toshiya)

K: Yes (laughs).

-Then there is another retake of the song “Clever Sleazoid”. What made you pick this song again?

K: He said that he wanted to translate the lyrics into Japanese. Kyo said something like he wanted to try it because the lyrics from the original song changed. It was like, “Well, let’s try to do it”.

 -Then, how about the completed form after re-recording?

K: Well, it was already released once, so I don’t really care about it(laughs) Some people liked the original, others will like the new version. Except for the lyrics, the tempo is a bit faster but overall, it hasn’t changed much.

 -Originally, this song was released in 2005, but when you look back on DIR EN GREY at that time, what do you think is very different from the present of the band?

K: I would say that there is a solid feeling now. Rather than trying to catch up with anything, I think we are proceeding in a somehow calm manner. The same applies to the stage. It was 15 years ago, so we were young….it was like an apprenticeship, now we are old men, that’s what different from that time.

-What do you remember pursuing at that time?

K: At that time, I was struggling to get closer to the sound I was envisioning.

-Do you mean that you haven’t been able to achieve what you were looking for?

K: Yes. It’s the same with the songs. I was thinking about the sound aspect every, like “How can I make a powerful heavy sound” every day.

-Was that a personal thing?

K: It was for the band as well, I often talked to the members about the kind of sound I wanted to do at that time for the CDs but also for the lives as well, I wondered how could I do it. But at that time, I was struggling to understand it like, “I haven’t achieved it, but I can only show the power of pursuing it while looking for the way to reach it”.

“I haven't reached it, I can only show the pursuit and power of" how can I do it?"

-Did you see anything regarding that aspect when you started going overseas?

K: No, what I thought when we started going abroad was the importance of being ourselves. I wonder if that would be the most powerful thing. So, around 2005, I felt like I was still chasing my ideals.  Like a way that I could I express them in this way. But since we went abroad… and I started to notice that being ourselves was the best more and more….. how could I say it?,..it seems that the destinations we were looking at have been pinpointed all the time. It’s not about how to do it, if we could express what was in ourselves more and more, we would change it to the consciousness that would create that kind of sound.

 -That means, for example, that when you released “CLEVER SLEAZOID”, looking back, you hadn’t reached that point that you are talking about yet.

K: I think we didn’t reach it. We didn’t but I feel that pursuing how we could do that, the power at that time, remains in it as something that could be only be produced at that moment.

-True. It emits an unbelievable power and it was a proof of that struggle.

K: Yes. If I look at it now, I wonder if that it’s linked to its originality.

 -Surely.   After that it connected with THE MARROW OF A BONE (2007). Around that album, did you feel like you obtained that you were looking for?

K: Well, I think I did, but still at that time, I was wondering how I could do it. So I think it’s only recently that I’m thinking in this way.

-Ah, recently?

K: Yes, about “DUM” (DUM SPIRO SPERO, released in 2011). But “DUM” isn’t recent either (laughs)

-Hahaha  you noticed that…that’s right (laughs). In an era when you were struggling to pursuit something, you became solid as a band. Then, the atmosphere in the band would naturally change for the better, because it means that from that moment, along with them and the music, you have reached your goal.

K: I think so.  Also, what could I say about our band?..... All the members think that they have a different feeling about their knowledge and ability to imagine but, the reaction will definitely come when the song seems to settle down in a “this is it” form. Some of us will say, “I think it’s better do it this way”, while other will say “if we go in this direction, we should do this”. Therefore, that we can talk about such things has not changed from the past. While my senses are growing, after all there is still an atmosphere of pursuit in the end, in doing more and more interesting things, so I think that’s a good place for us.

-Even if you gained more knowledge and experience, it doesn’t feel strangely calm at all. K: It’s not. If that happens, it wouldn’t be interesting.

 “Now I think, do we really want to do that?”

 -I see. So, the mastering engineer and mixing-in engineer this time are also talented, but did you proposed the selection of these people to the members after listening to how overseas artists sound?

K: Sometimes I do. As for this engineer,Josh Wilbur,  the director said he would like to try to work with him once and asked him to mix “Ochita koto ga aru sora”.He had been trying to get in touch with him for a long time, but he couldn’t, but he was able to communicate with him this time and asked, "Would you like to try it once?".

 -Josh Wilbur is a person whose range of work goes from Avil Lavigne to Lamb of God. How was the result?

K: Well, I’m glad we asked for a simple one.

-After all, with that width….

K: It’s better that way. This kind of person will return what you ordered exactly as you ordered it. Sometimes no matter how much we explain it, there are people who don’t understand, so they don’t know what to do. At first, Josh used to put a lot of effects on songs and so on. Listening to that, Kyo said "nothing is good" (laughs). The exchange was interesting, though.

-If you leave the decision to someone else, something that shocks you can come out.

K: Yes. Wow, this person comes quite a bit (laughs)

-(Laughs) At that moment, you understood his way.

K: So, Josh’s first mix was more metal-ish. Also, the sound of the drums….it wasn’t like it was crazy but it felt like bumpy….it was like “mmm, it’s a bit different”, but after several exchanges with him, it went well.

-What about Jens Bogren (who has worked with many famous metal bands such as Arch Enemy and Opeth) who mixed “CLEVER SLEAZOID”?

K: It’s a different type (of mixing) from Josh. Jens has worked with us several times so far so  he knows the directions.

-And the mastering engineer for the three songs of the single, including the live version of  “Followers”, Brian Gardner (Linkin Park, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Eminen etc..) is the same one than “Ningen wo Kaburu” and “The World of Mercy”.

K: Yes. If you change the mastering too much, it’s hard to predict the finish result.  It’s difficult to know how the mix will turn out, so if you want to change the engineer that does the mixing, you should do the mastering with the same person as before.

-I see. Because the song will be created from the scratch again.

K: Well, that’s also interesting but I’m worried about what to do if it fails…

-About the future of DIR EN GREY, of course, I think that you will only do what you can do under these circumstances but, what kind of expectations do you have?

K: We are thinking about moving towards making an album.  As for concerts, it can’t be helped that we have to wait until we can do them, so I guess that I have to devote myself to making songs.

-Taking advantage of this situation, you will be able to concentrate in that.

K: Well, that’s right. I have time, so in that sense it’s easy to concentrate.

-In fact, is it time already to move into the album?

K: Yes. After Pia Arena, we were planning to go to production as we don’t have any concerts.

-For example, the single “The World of Mercy” included an acoustic version of “Dozing Green”, was there any talk about trying to do an acoustic live at these times?

K: Sometimes….that’s right. If we do that, I have to think about acoustic arrangements for that so let’s do a normal live performance (laughs). It’s not a bad idea to do a live like that because of this situation but, it’s like “do we really want to do it now?”.

-Ah, I see. Apart from your intentions it doesn’t make sense to you to simply say “We’ll do it because we can do it” in the current situation.

K: Yes, I think so.

 “Without “BLUE BLOOD” I wouldn’t really be who I am now” (second part here)

[m0onbean]

Bonfire (Camp Counselor AU!) Chapter 2

category: flOoOf

pairing: sanha X reader

note: how is everyone’s day?

"(Y/N), I hope you're paying attention."

You head shot up and you gave Jinjin a reassuring nod, "Yes Mr. Jinwoo!"

After the awkward introductions, you and the six boys were all in a small office with a huge whiteboard plastered on the wall. You were seated at a small desk that was facing the board, while the six boys had a presentation and slideshow prepared for you. It seemed like they were expecting you to arrive since the "classroom" had been prepared nicely (although they just used the storage room which was very cramped and smelled like tuna.)

Jinjin stood in front of the board and had a stick pointed at the slideshow, "First slide!"

Moonbin clicked on a button which made the moniter project a title screen. The screen had a huge moon on it and in cursive wrote: "Welcome to Camp Moon!"

"Glowing brightly and always present, we are Camp Moon!" All six boys chanted and quickly bowed afterwards. Impressed by their synchronization, you quietly applauded them.

The slide switched into another screen that had a paragraph written on it. MJ read it out loud, "On this mountain lies a whole camp organization named Camp Constellation which we are all a part of. This corporation consists of numerous separate sections including: Camp Star, Camp Venus, Camp Jupiter, you know, all of those planets. However, the most significant groups here are us, Camp Moon, and Camp Sun."

You listened carefully and nodded your head.

MJ continued, "Now you might be wondering, why in the world are Camp Moon and Camp Sun the most important ones here? It's not because our names are the biggest and most vital astronomical bodies in this universe, but it's because of our spirit."

Everybody else in their room nodded their heads excitedly.

"So yes, we only consist of six people, but it was like this for quite a while now. Does that hurt our spirit though?"

"No!" You chanted with your fist pumped in the air. The boys all clapped for your strong enthusiasm.

The slide changed to the next one which was a picture of a moon and a sun next to eachother. Boxing gloves and angry faces were photo-shopped onto both of them. It didn't take a genius to know that MJ was the one who edited those pictures.

"So why are we such a small group? Well, (Y/N), you have taken the personality test prior to arriving here, correct?"

"Ah, yes. I was wondering why I had to take such a quiz."

He chuckled, "Well, that quiz is supposed to put you in your desired camp where you will blossom the best in. You know the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter? It's similar to that, but more conventional. Instead of a hat being put on top of your head and shouting it out loud, you just check off boxes and what not. Still cool, eh?"

"So basically, your test results decided that you belong here. It is a huge surprise since we haven't had anybody join in since a couple years. You could say that Camp Moon is one of a kind because of our few amount of people which means that we had a unique personality compared to the rest," Rocky added.

"Speak about unique, Camp Sun has the MOST people here. They're probably the most intimidating ones too." The boys shuddered fearfully including you.

"(Y/N) has encountered Howie before..." Rocky brought up.

Instantly, all of the boys were around you, comforting you by ruffling your hair and patting your back softly.

The next slide showed up which revealed pictures of all six of the boys posing cutely in front of a large lake. You recognized the lake from what you have seen while driving up the hill. It was beautiful, glimmering under the summer sun and flowing smoothly.

"We are a strong team because of our teamwork. Camp Constellation hosts 'Olympic' events each year during the summer where each camp participates in competitive games against eachother. It's a long but fun tournament. In order to win number one you must pass all rounds."

Sanha finally spoke up after acting shy for a while now, "As Camp Moon, we had won three times before in the past six years." He proudly put his hands on his hips cutely which made you uncontrollably smile.

"But Camp Sun beat those other three years. Last year they beat us." Eunwoo growled.

The boys all scowled in unison, clearly upset about losing to them.

"They definitely cheated though," Moonbin remarked.

"I saw with my own eyes!" Rocky yelped. "They switched out the equipment last minute! We could've totally won, but they had to be fuc-"

"Anyways," Jinjin cut in, "as you can see, Camp Moon and Camp Sun are clearly rivals. They consist of around thirty people and we consist of six. Now that you are here, it'll be seven."

You warmly smiled at the thought of being part of such a strong team.

"Ritual time!" They suddenly cheered and ran to you and picked you up abruptly. You screamed out of shock, but they ignored you by heaving you into another room.

In the pitch black room, your legs were sat criss cross on the ground. Candles surrounded your body and seemed to form a shape of what seemed like a star? Behind the candles on each corner of the star sat six boys boy whose faces were glowing from the illumination of the tiny fires.

You were sat smack middle of the shape, nervously fidgeting at the sincereness of the ritual. Everybody had some paint strokes on their face in the color of white and gray. It was clear that they were very sincere and passionate about this ceremony,

"I'll start," Jinjin lowly spoke. He got on his knees and held out his hands to you. You accepted them confidently and stared at him boldly.

"As leader of Camp Moon, I would like to see you flourish here and watch you discover yourself truly. As our seventh member, would you like to vow anything?" The candle's fire wavered under his breath.

"Yes. I am well aware of my importance as a new member here, therefore, I will not let you guys down. When the tournament arrives, I can promise that I will invest my full quality effort into helping Camp Moon back on track to victory. As I do this, I also affirm that I will have the best moment of my life here with you all and create bonds."

Everyone breaks the silence by clapping at your mesmerizing speech and cheering you on.

"Ah, one last thing I would like to confirm."

Everybody's heads shot up at Jinjin's sudden announcement He continued, "Since you're our only girl here and we're all guys..."

Your eyebrows crooked up at what he was implying.

"Dating is prohibited. It'll only make things awkward if you choose to date any of us, and it will most likely break Camp Moon apart. So let's calm down our hormones for now, okay?"

You didn't really feel TOO disappointed. You had only planned to become really good friends with them until you could actually call them your brothers, you never had the intention is seduce any of them. Finally, Sanha opened up the lights in the room and everybody blew out the candles and headed outside of the cabin. They had another thing planned for you, and you were quite thrilled to see what else was in store.

Upon stepping out of the cabin, the fresh breeze of air hit your face. It was windy outside, for leaves were creating their own mini tornadoes and the trees were hanging off to their sides, threatening to pluck off the ground and fly away.

A small campfire that wasn't on fire yet was placed outside with logs surrounding it making a circle shape. You rubbed your arms unconsciously without realizing that you were lacking a proper jacket.

"Are you cold?" Eunwoo softly asked you.

"Uh, yeah. I think I have a sweater inside the cabin..."

"Don't worry you can wear mine!" He offered and started to strip his own jacket off.

"Oh uh-" Before you could reject him, Sanha came running out of the door with your sweater in his arms.

"H-here," he panted and held it out to you. Your eyes widened at his kindness, surprised that he would go out of his way to help you.

"Thank you Sanha!" You blurted and hugged him gratefully. When you let go, you saw that he had frozen completely upon feeling your touch.

A blush crept up your face once you recognized how intimate you had gotten. "Sorry..." you muttered and accepted your sweater and put it on.

"Hey, what did we say about no dating?" MJ jokingly called out while hoisting a bag filled with marshmallows. Behind him followed Rocky who was also lifting a pile of blankets on his arms.

You ran towards them and helped them out by transporting the things to the campfire.

"Sanha, here's your guitar!" Moonbin called out. You turned to Sanha and gave him a curious look.

"You can play the guitar?"

"Yeah," he received it and strummed a couple of chords. You watched him in awe as his fingers strategically plucked the strings.

"I taught myself," he boasted proudly. You scoffed but couldn't tear your eyes away from him.

"Alright let's start roasting these marshmallows!" Jinjin called out.

Everybody was seated around the fire, holding out sticks with marshmallows stabbed through them. You were seated on a log with Sanha. As you watched your marshmallow slowly roast, the boys started telling stories of the members.

"Yeah, like there was this one time when we tried to pull a prank on Jinjin, and he cried," MJ giggled. Everybody else started to snicker at the memory. These boys are really close friends.

"What was the prank?" You asked while rotating your stick carefully.

"Well we pretended that we were all going to leave Camp Moon and he couldn't stop crying even after we told him that we were just joking."

"So cruel," you whined and pat Jinjin on his back soothingly.

"I have a weak heart..." Jinjin muttered, clearly embarrased by the incident.

The sun was slowly crawling back down. Pink clouds were scattered chaotically across the horizon, and the fire started to spring up larger. You started to feel drowsy under the great weather and comfortable atmosphere.

"I'll play a song now," Sanha offered and grabbed his guitar from beside him. After checking if it was tuned properly, he started to strum the strings calmingly. The tune was very sweet and entrancing, making you fall under his spell. Just when you thought that THAT was relaxing, Sanha opened his mouth and started to softly sing.

You unknowingly rested your head onto his shoulder and shut your eyes. After the song ended, you felt shifting next to you. A cozy blanket was wrapped around your body and you nuzzled your face into Sanha's chest. Even without your eyes open, you could sense that Sanha was flustered. He hesitantly started to stroke your hair which made you smile. It seemed like everybody else was also falling asleep, for peaceful silence floated in the air accompanied with crackling sounds from the zealous campfire.

note: I might open up a quiz for you guys to take to see which camp you belong to :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

[marksleepy]

Mark - Fond

genre: fluff word count: 2103 plot: (I’m too lazy to summarise so I’m just going to copy and paste the ask) nct marklee scenario: same age smtrainee from canada. sm introduces you to nct so the english speakers can help you. you’re in the next room playing guitar & nct’s curious to who is playing&singing. anyways MARK FLUFF where you guys becomes bffs and fall in love. SORRY IF THIS IS SO SPECIFIC :( you can alter it anyway you like. (pls make it a long scenario) A/N: I did make some changes. pretty obvious but Y/C means your country. also I feel like my titles are just synonyms of “love”. I suck at titles and endings ok sorry

The door to the practice room closed slowly behind you. A polite staff lady had told you to stay here till further instructions were given. She had rushed off seconds after you entered the room, leaving you to deal with your uncertainties yourself. You set your guitar case on the floor and your bag on a black plastic chair. The room was cold. Only two rows of lights were switched on. You observed the stickers of various groups stuck on the red lockers standing together. A few stickers were dog-eared, while others were stuck on perfectly.

You returned to the chair and pulled a piece of paper out of your backpack. The staff had handed it to you a while ago. Scanning through the paper, you realised you did not have that much to do for the month. You were recently introduced to the company after all. Dance practice for the first half of the day, followed by vocal training for the other half. Breaks would, of course, be given. Korean lessons would be provided on alternate days.

The door behind you opened. The staff from just now entered, ushering a group of people in the room. They babbled excitedly among themselves until they noticed you. You stood up promptly and bowed deferentially. They bowed back separately. The staff faced them and started speaking in Korean, gesturing at you every now and then. You understood snippets of what she was saying. The group of people nodded lightly, their mouths forming an ‘O’ shape.

“Alright, Y/N. This is NCT. You know how to introduce yourself in Korean, right?” the staff lady spoke.

You nodded timorously. “Hello, I’m Y/N from Y/C,” you said in Korean, bowing once more. Were you supposed to add on something? You broke out in a cold sweat. The lady saved you by addressing them again. You thanked her in your heart. This was nerve-racking.

Staff lady cleared her throat before saying, “Y/N, this group consists of some English speakers. You can look for them, or any staff, for help of any sort.” She paused, flipping through her planner. “I will introduce the other English speakers you did not manage to meet today to you. They are currently busy.”

You replied with soft “OK's”.

“There is also a girl trainee of your age. You will be meeting her shortly.”

She flipped through her planner again, clicking on her pen and jotting something down. “That’s all for today,” she smiled. “Please get to know one another.” She walked out the door, waving at you and the rest. You silently begged for her to stay. She disappeared then popped up at the door again, a way in which only the top half of her body was visible. She motioned to three boys and they went out of the room with her, leaving you with four other boys.

“Hello, I’m Donghyuck, Haechan. Nice to meet you,” a light-brown haired boy bowed. He spoke in hesitant English. You bowed in returned.

“Hi, I’m Mark.” Light blond hair. The black roots at the top of his head were very noticeable. “I’m from Canada. Pleased to meet you,” he added. He smiled shyly at you. The heat in your cheeks seared. “Y/N, right?”

“Yes.”

“When were you born?”

“1999.”

“Nice! Me too.”

You suddenly registered the fact that three boys were watching you and Mark converse. Your stomach knotted up. You turned away from Mark slightly and faced them.

One was freakishly tall. “Hey! I’m Johnny.” His deep voice wasn’t surprising.

“Hi, I’m Jeffrey. From California.” 

You nodded unknowingly.

“Seriously, Jaehyun?” Johnny remarked.

You looked at Jaehyun—Jeffrey?—then at Johnny.

“I’m kidding. I’m Jaehyun,” Jaehyun grinned, revealing adorable dimpled cheeks.

“You can call him Jeffrey though,” Mark said from the side, shoving his hands into his sweats pocket. Donghyuck nodded cluelessly beside him.

Mark pulled at his sleeves. “You can talk to us about stuff. Anything. We’d be glad to help.”

“That’s right,” Johnny chimed in.

You relaxed a little after hearing that. You gave them a small smile and they smiled back warmly. You looked forward to getting to know them. They seemed so friendly and fun.

Staff lady came into the room alone. “OK, Y/N. I’ll be bringing you to your room. Your roommate’s already there.”

The boys looked at you and waved. “See you around,” Mark said. They walked out of the room one by one. “Time for practice.” Someone said, fading away.

You stepped into your dorm room. A girl sat on a single bed, scrolling through her brightly lit cell phone. She looked up and beamed at you. Putting her phone down on the bed, she sauntered towards you.

“You must be Y/N,” she said, helping you with your guitar case.

You nodded, grinning at her. “And you are?”

“Saejin. I’m from Canada.”

“Ooh, so is Mark.”

“Mark?”

Your cheeks burned hot. “Uh, from NCT.”

“Aah. I haven’t met any of the seniors. I was occupied in something earlier.”

You threw your bag on your bed. You and Saejin chatted for a bit. You learned that her dad was a Korean and her mum was an American and they were both fluent in English. Saejin unfortunately never got the chance to learn the Korean language.

“I’ve always wanted to play the guitar,” Saejin mentioned.

You looked at her thoughtfully. “I’ll teach you if you want.”

Her face lit up. “You’re the best.”

After dinner with Saejin, she fell asleep before you. You lay in bed staring at the ceiling and nodded off soon after.

The next morning, you sat on the floor of the practice room with your guitar on your lap. You woke up pretty early—way before dance practice—so you had decided to come to practice early. You started tuning it, before plucking the strings to the song “11:11” by your senior Taeyeon. The lyrics left your lips naturally. Your voice permeated the empty practice room.

You stopped short when you heard clapping and the opening of the door. Please be Saejin.

Mark. Jaehyun.

“Wow, you’re amazing,” Jaehyun complimented. He nudged Mark, who was just standing still with eyes wide open.

You got up and bowed. “I’m sorry. Are you supposed to practise here?”

“No, no. We just heard, um, singing,” Mark said. He was trying to keep it cool, but his words were shaky. “You’re really good.”

You dropped your eyes and searched the floor. “Thank you.”

Jaehyun smirked at you knowingly. You felt like your face was on fire.

“Anyways,” Mark began, “We got to go for practice.”

You nodded and gave them a small wave. At that point, Saejin emerged from the hallway. When she saw Mark and Jaehyun, she bowed in a 90-degree angle. You saw Jaehyun smile at her and Mark bowing back. Once they left the room, Saejin walked towards you eyed you suspiciously. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You have such a dopey look on your face.”

You watched her put her things down. The dance instructor came in at the right moment. Some girls came in after her, rescuing you from replying to Saejin. The instructor tied her hair up and clapped her hands. After all the introductions, everyone proceeded with stretching.

Wiping beads of perspiration off your face, you stepped out into the hallway. Girls near you squealed about things, excited to be out of the practice room. Saejin had rushed off earlier because of a change in her schedule, leaving you on your own. You were about to walk down the long hallway when Mark came out of another practice room down the hallway. He was shoving a towel into his bag. You saw several other boys exiting the room. You noticed Donghyuck. A towel was wrapped loosely around his neck. He saw you and waved “hello”, smiling gently. He then tapped Mark on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Mark turned a little too quickly and grinned at you.

You were breathless. He lumbered towards you. “Lunch?”

You stared blankly at him.

“Wanna have lunch with Dong—ah—Haechan and me?” he repeated.

You punched yourself. Mentally.

“Can I?”

“Definitely.”

After getting food from the staff, you, Mark, and Donghyuck found an empty room at the end of the hallway. The three of you placed the food on the rectangular table and sat down. Mark sat across you and Donghyuck sat beside him. All of you ate silently.

“Is the food good?” Donghyuck asked in Korean, looking at you with his spoon paused in mid-air.

Mark looked at Donghyuck from the corner of his eyes, saying somewhere along the lines of “she’s not fluent in Korean”.

You held your hands up, shaking them. “It’s OK. I can speak a little Korean.” You turned to Donghyuck and replied to him in his first language, “Yes, it is delicious.”

“You can speak to him informally. He’s younger than us by a year,” Mark snickered. Donghyuck, clearly not understanding a word he was saying, nodded and said in accented English, “Correct, correct.”

You and Mark burst out laughing. “Why, why?” Donghyuck questioned in Korean. He sulked and jabbed a sausage when the laughter didn’t stop. You stopped seconds later after realising you had upset him. But he looked up from his plate and gave you a mischievous grin. The three of you started laughing again.

The door behind Mark opened, and the giggles died down. Someone you were unfamiliar with entered. You stood up a little too quickly and your chair made a loud crash against the floor. Embarrassed, you bent down and put it on all fours again. You bowed at the stranger at the door and he gestured for you to sit down.

“This is Taeyong hyung,” Mark said quickly. There was a brief exchange between the two of them before Taeyong beckoned to Donghyuck. Donghyuck cleared his plate and said bye to you, before leaving the room with Taeyong.

You focused on the half-eaten fried egg on your plate. With your face still facing downwards, you lifted your eyes and gazed at Mark. His hair fascinated you. Black hair followed by a sharp change to blond. He had probably dyed his hair thousand of times, but it still looked so smooth. He then looked directly into your eyes. You quickly avoided eye contact, going back to poking at your broccoli.

It did not take you long to open up to Mark. Talking to him was not awkward. At all. You fell completely in love with his laughter. However, the fun came to an end when it was time to practise—again.

Over the next few months, you got to know all of the seniors in the company. You would always bow to them when you bump into them. And that included NCT. Your friendship with Mark grew deeper, to the point where the two of you were inseparable. Both of you had lunch together almost every single day.

On a Thursday afternoon, you passed by a practice room during your break. You peeked in and saw Johnny, Jaehyun and Mark dancing. They saw you through the mirror and smiled. Pausing the music, Johnny jogged over to you.

“Doing good?” he asked, wiping perspiration off with the back of his hand.

“Yeah. You?”

“Good too.”

Jaehyun and Mark joined the conversation.

“I’m kind of sad, actually,” Jaehyun intoned.

You tilted your head up at him. “Why?”

“Because Mark’s been ditching us for you.”

A blush burned your cheeks.

Mark shrugged Jaehyun arm off his shoulder and said defensively, “I have not.” The tips of his ears turned pink.

Johnny looked at Jaehyun deliberately and smirked. Your heart was pumping so fast. They guffawed with delight and high-fived each other.

“We’re just joking,” Jaehyun laughed, clapping unintentionally. “You two are so cute.”

“Run away, children,” Johnny joked.

“Oh my God, seriously, guys?” Mark grumbled.

You left the room with Mark. “Sorry about that.”

You shook your head, a sign to show that it was fine. “I like spending time with you anyways,” Mark said softly. You smiled fondly at him.

“You’re alright, I guess,” you teased.

“I hate you.”

There was a pause. He scratched his neck and added, “Not.”

Your heart danced around your chest. You loved Mark so much.

[metalindex-hu]

„The crazier it was, the more we liked it!”

„The crazier it was, the more we liked it!” - https://metalindex.hu/2021/06/01/the-crazier-it-was-the-more-we-liked-it/ -

Guitarist Bob Clic recalls the story of Murder and the early days of Bay Area Thrash Metal

When the Bay Area started to emerge, there was no Thrash or Speed Metal. It was Hard Rock, Heavy Metal. Back in those days, the Bay Area bands were mostly influenced by the N.W.O.B.H.M., but tried to create their own style and sound. One of the earliest Bay Area outfits was Murder, and former guitarist Bob Clic told us the history of the band.

Bob, do you still remember at which point you started showing an interest in music and in Hard Rock/Heavy Metal particularly?

I got into music as a little kid. Top Ten Radio in the early 60’s had a lot of good bands mixed in with whatever else. I got into heavy music whenever I first heard it I think, garage rock, Count 5, Yardbirds.

What were your very first faves to start with?

Cream, Blue Cheer, Jimi Hendrix. Blue Cheer especially.

How did you end up becoming a musician? When did you first start learning to play an instrument and which instrument was it?

I started playing guitar in 1965. I was 9 years old. I had older brothers who bought rock records. They were a big influence, the records they had.

Were you self-taught or did you regularly take lessons?

I took folk music lessons. I learned old timey Carter family stuff and American folk songs until I could play decent. My parents insisted I learn to play a couple years before they hired one of the guys from the high school to give me rock lessons. He taught me to learn pretty much anything off of records. He taught me to teach myself. It was good for me.

When did you decide to be part of a band?

I always wanted to be in a band. It just didn’t really happen until much later. In the 70’s when punk rock started.

What about the Bay Area scene as a whole? How did it come into being? How did it start taking its shape?

I don’t know, maybe around the time Motörhead came to town? After that SF had what seemed like a pretty thriving young metal scene at that time I was still playing punk rock in the Lewd and Kurdt Vanderhoof was trying to start that first version of Metal Church and he and I and a few others went to the Anvil Chorus practice room and jammed on some songs we were making up that night. We called it Murder. This was in 1980. Kurdt moved back to Washington so I got other guys and put a band together, eventually leaving The Lewd to just play in Murder.

Murder (l-r): Tom Wilsey, JU, Carl Sacco and Bob Clic

Were Exodus, Leviathan/Anvil Chorus, Vicious Rumors, Metal Church, Control, Sinister Savage/Griffin, Blind Illusion, EZ-Street, Agents of Misfortune, Trauma, Murder etc. those bands that were popping up at the same time and started everything? Did they belong to the first wave of Bay Area metal?

Yes, I saw most of those bands. We knew the guys from Leviathan, pre Anvil Chorus. They used to visit the Lewd house and are still friends. Ha, those guys liked punk rock and saw all the great punk bands back before they were old enough to drink. When we got Murder going at first there was a bigger division between the punk and metal bands. We mostly played with punk bands because metal wasn’t really very thrashy or punk fueled yet. The punk/metal uneasy friendship hadn’t taken root yet except for a few of us. But right from the first night we knew Murder was playing punk/metal. You couldn’t call it anything else really. We came from the other end, we had the punk power already, we just added what we liked from Heavy Metal into what we already knew.

Do you agree with the notion that the earliest documented roots of the Bay Area thrash scene date back to the formation of Exodus in 1980?

Well, to me Exodus weren’t very thrashing at first, they started out with more of a N.W.O.B.H.M. sound. Judas Priest and Scorpions were a big influence on all the earliest SF metal bands. Not until Metallica came and played. After Metallica came it was like the local bands realized it was ok to speed it up and they started adding that thrash sound.

Do you think, that the Bay Area thrash scene might not have had the media attention L.A.’s glam scene received?

The Bay Area did ok, several of them became huge bands. But no, you can’t beat LA when it comes to promoting a bunch of crap bands. They had MTV.

Would you say that Rampage Radio, created by KUSF DJs Ron Quintana, Ian Kallen and Howie Klein, and has been assaulting the airwaves with metal on a weekly basis ever since its official birth on Sunday, March 6th, 1982, played also an important role in the Bay Area scene?

Totally! Yes, Ron Quintana especially really helped it form and was like a spiritual center for the scene. He turned everybody on to something, some band they never heard or rare live recordings. He knows more about this stuff than anyone.

Do you recall one of the very first fanzines Metal Mania, that was done also by Ron Quintana?

Yes, of course. I still have several early issues stashed away in my old stuff!

What can you tell us about the club scene? What were the first clubs that started opening their doors for Hard Rock/Heavy Metal?

Well, the punk clubs and bookers were pretty open to having metal bands play. The Mabuhay Gardens had metal bands mixed in and gave them metal nights. Also clubs like the Stone, Old Waldorf and Ruthies most of those bands you are talking about grew too big to play those clubs within 3 or 4 years.

What do you think about the idea that Metallica’s move to the Bay Area was an important step? In your opinion, were they the fastest, rawest and most brutal band at this point?

Yes, it was super important. Like I said, Metallica showed a direction and brought another piece of what would become the Thrash Metal sound. Bands had already starting absorbing the British and European N.W.O.B.H.M. sound and they added the thrash rhythms and ran with it. They wouldn’t have done that without Metallica.

In the early 80’s, more and more heavy metal bands started popping up in the Bay Area, such as Mordred, Ruffians, Death Angel, Laaz Rockit, Warning, Legacy, Ulysses Siren, Havoc, Assassin etc.? What were your views on the scene at this point?

It was predictable actually. The same thing happened in the punk scene: there were so many bands that took their inspiration from the exact same places. Bands end up with similar looks, sounds and attitudes. They still do that.

Is it correct, that Kurt Vanderhoof, bassist for the Lewd originated the basic concept for Murder and wrote two songs (The Butcher, Cease to Exist) before leaving the Lewd to eventually form Metal Church and he passed these songs onto you?

Yea, I think there were five or six songs that Kurdt wrote that we played then. When he left and I decided to continue it those two songs are the ones Nyna wrote words for.

You approached bassist and long-time friend Ed Ju MacNeill (Fuck-Ups, Legionnaires Disease) with the concept of a Heavy Metal band doing songs about serial killers, maniacs ect., shared Kurt’s two songs and conceptualized a splatter rock band and together wrote a set of songs in that genre. Where did this idea come from?

Growing up watching horror movies! At that time I worked in a movie theatre on Market St in SF and Ju and I and Danny loved that stuff. The crazier it was, the more we liked it!

By the way, did you desired writing originals or were you mostly jamming on covers?

In the time that Murder was together we only played two cover songs, Second Time Around by Blue Cheer and Hot Smoke and Sassafras by the Bubble Puppy.

Drummer and graphic artist, Danny Dui (Flyin’ Fucking A-Heads) was then added and he supplied poster art and the blood dripping Murder logo, while Nyna Crawford (VKTMS – R.I.P.) joined the band as a singer. How did they get in the picture exactly?

Well, Danny was involved right from the start, he thought up the name! We knew him from the punk scene, he came from Hawaii with a punk band called The Uptights and befriended the Lewd. He was a long time roadie and artist for us and other bands around town. Nyna I knew from The VKTMS and she left that band about a month before I left the Lewd. A very important friend suggested I go see what Nyna was up to. She wanted to play louder and faster so it seemed like a good idea. Unfortunately she and Ju had previously been going out together and putting them both in the same band was a stupid idea! They hated each other at the end.

A single was then recorded with Murder and Chainsaw Love (Slight Return). What do you recall of the recording sessions?

We played a benefit for Ginger Coyotes Punk Globe and Ginger was able to gift us some free recording time at Hyde Street Studios, one of the big time studios in town. I mostly remember that I daisy chained five complete amp rigs in that big room, one of them was a Sony reel to reel tape recorder with those speakers that become the lid for the recorder. That was mic-ed up in an isolation booth. No distortion pedals, just a wahwah. The engineer combined those amps all into one overloaded guitar sound.

How would you describe the material? How did it sound like?

Punk metal. Loud and fast with plenty of guitar!

Did you shop it around to attract labels’ interests?

No, we used the tape to get gigs I think. I gave it to Ron Quintana of course. I don’t recall if any of us even talked about record labels back then. We assumed what we were doing was underground it would stay that way. We figured if we got a record out it would be because someone we knew did it from their living room, not a big label.

Have you regularly gigged in those times? How about your performances?

We played once a month or so.

Is it true, that Ju designed macabre stage sets, choreographed the lighting, smoke, dry ice and pyro for the live stage shows and live skits with various beautiful women being butchered were added?

Yes, we had no budget, but we had lots of imagination! We had a full guillotine, and several fake corpses onstage and behind things. On our final live show our singer shot the guy who introduced the band as “America’s Favorite Sport – Murder”. That guy had condoms filled with blood and firecrackers under his shirt front so the folks up front all got blood splatter in their faces! At the end Ju and I slit our girlfriends throats and dragged them backstage. We had a song called Abduction, about kidnapping and torturing a beautiful girl on her wedding night, so our friend Shoshana allowed our singer Tom to rip her guts out.

Did it help fill the venues?

No. Probably not! I think it would have if we kept going. Our best show was our last show.

Was your goal to appeal to the audience? Did it cause a lot of harm for the band? The crowds were titillated by the backdrop of eerie atmospherics and the music, weren’t they?

Well, our audience was made up of our friends from both the punk and metal scenes. They all grew up watching horror movies, too. I know people who saved and probably still have bloody souvenirs from our shows.

At which point did Danny leave the band and was replaced by Carl Sacco (Metal Church, Heathen later on)? Was he your first choice becoming the new drummer?

Danny pawned his drums one time too many. He’s my good friend still after all these years, but we couldn’t count on him then. Our next drummer was my friend Harley Flanagan from the Stimulators and Cro-Mags. He came out to Ca, when he was 15 and played with us for about two weeks or so. He was young and wild and he was out rambling…. our perfect drummer. I was sad when he left town. Harley and I stay in touch, he sends me his new recordings…. very heavy and also very good I think. After Harley we got Carl.

There was another line-up change, when Nyna left after a while, because the shear volume of the band was corrupting her voice and Tom Wilsey was then added as front man…

Yes, she had trouble with the volume, and we weren’t very sensible. She was right, but you know how it is, louder is better! You gotta remember that amps and foot pedals and guitarists rigs were different back then. Things didn’t work the way they were supposed to. You had to turn amps up loud to get them to sound cool. Now it’s easy. Anyone can sound heavy with whatever modern amp they find and just thinking about which distortion pedal to use gives me a headache! I prefer the old ways. Get a big old amp and turn it up. When Nyna left we regrouped, got Tom Wilsey to sing and that was when we kinda got focused. His lyrics were all about murder.

Several songs were recorded in the studio; what were those ones and did you evolve compared to the demo? Did your style somewhat change?

We recorded some songs for a demo at The Vats, a punk rock squat in an abandoned beer company. Like I say, we got more focused as a band, what we wanted to sound and look like. I prefer that lineup.

Nothing was released from the band except the aforementioned single. What were the reasons for it?

We just weren’t music business oriented. When people start talking to me about record labels I just tune it out. We wanted to play music, we didn’t really think about much else. I’m still that way, my relationship with music doesn’t involve “business” in any way.

Finally the band dissolved during a dormant period as you rejoined the more active Lewd, and Carl Sacco joined Heathen, while Nyna later joined Smashed Weekend, reunited VKTMS in 1995, and passed away of ovarian cancer in 2000. What can you tell us about it?

I didn’t rejoin The Lewd until 1998! After Murder I started another metal band called Die Seiger, we played shows with Metallica, Slayer, even Spinal Tap! By the end of the 80’s I was done with it though. I took a year where I just went to work everyday and let my guitar strings rust. No playing at all. I needed a break. During that time I started buying records that I remembered loving as a kid, the bands that got me into playing guitar. I dug deeply into 60’s blues rock, Peter Green, Savoy Brown. I sort of rediscovered my guitar, dusted it off and since then I’ve pretty much ignored all the heavy groups and punk bands I used to like.

In the mid 80’s there was a kind of Thrash Metal boom in the Bay Area, more and more new outfits appeared on the scene, such as Forbidden Evil/Forbidden, Heathen, Death Penalty (later known as Vio-lence), Defiance, Redrum, Sentinel Beast, Führer, Mercenary, Desecration, Epidemic, Sacrilege B. C., Betrayel, Sadus etc. How did you find this movement? Were they the second generation of Thrash Metal?

Yea, some of the second gen thrash bands really got that sound, like a whirling dervish of hardcore rhythm. It’s pretty impressive sounding when it’s done right!

A lot of musicians crossed their ways since they played in several groups, correct?

Well, yes, like Carl Sacco: he was in The Lewd, Murder and Die Seiger with me before going on to Heathen. We all ran in the same circles socially. Sometimes it was easier to call someone you already know is weak in some way and try to work around it, auditioning new musicians is hell on earth.

Do you think that it was an exciting period, but the scene became oversaturated later on?

It did for me. I love aggressive music, I’ve played in a lot of bands that were aggressive sounding. But jeese, it’s not the ONLY thing. However I lived through periods of really great music, and without a doubt I saw the best of the punk bands and the best of metal at that time. It doesn’t interest me much anymore, but I still love the Blue Cheer and Black Sabbath I grew up with.

Compared to the New York or Los Angeles-based thrash bands, the Bay Area ones were more melodic, technical, had a tight rhythm section, catchy riffs, killer solos and often sing along choruses. Do you agree with it?

I don’t really know. Probably.

Were the Bay Area bands easily distinguishable from each other in terms of songwriting, producing, sound etc.? Did all of them have an own/unique music, style, sound etc.?

The ones that got bigger like Exodus and Metallica each had something unique. Those guys were inspired by early classic heavy rock and the N.W.O.B.H.M.. The next generations of bands after that were often inspired by Exodus and Metallica. So things start sounding the same. This also pushes bands like Metallica to struggle with staying “ahead” of the kids, because the kids sound just as good as they used to. That’s a vicious circle to be caught in from what I can see.

Would you say that Bonded By Blood is a milestone in Thrash Metal and if it had been released the same year as Kill ’Em All or Show No Mercy, as intended, it’s almost certain that Exodus would’ve seen similar success?

It’s hard to say for sure. Success is a motherfucker. I’d point out that Exodus did pretty well for themselves, but it’s a little bit like the Misfits. There are plenty of punk bands who put out records better than the Misfits, but none of them are more famous. What punk band is more famous with more people than the Misfits? When a band really takes off they leave their peers behind.

There was a third wave with bands such as My Victim, Extermination, but they never managed to reach the fans’ attention…

By then I was no longer paying attention. I never heard of them.

Did you take part in the Thrash of the Titans that was a benefit concert held on August 11, 2001 at the Maritime Hall in San Francisco and the concert was a co-benefit for Testament vocalist Chuck Billy, who was diagnosed with germ cell seminoma (a rare form of cancer) and Chuck Schuldiner (R.I.P.), leader of Death, who was also battling cancer?

I was aware of it but didn’t go.

During the past years a lot of Bay Area musicians passed away, such as Cliff Burton, Jon Torres, Sam Kress, Jim Larin, Kevin Mahoney, Mike „Yaz” Jastremski, Bob Yost, Randy Laird etc. How do you feel about it?

Well, I’m in my 60’s. I’ve had a lot of friends pass away. It still hurts though. Cliff’s accident is still pretty upsetting. Bill Skinner passed recently.

Who are/were your best friends from the Bay Area scene?

From the metal scene it would be the guys from Anvil Chorus, Bill, Doug, Thaen, also one of the guys, who was in that first SF version of Metal Church, Rick Condrin, we stayed close until he passed…. Jeese, now that you ask a lot of them are gone.

Do you still keep an eye on what’s going on in the metal scene these days, and what do you think about it compared to the glorious 80’s?

Not much. I ignore more music than many people listen to! Before the pandemic hit I was able to take my 13 year old grandson to see Metallica, it was interesting seeing them in a baseball stadium. Seeing him react to songs I first heard at the Mabuhay Gardens was a trip.

Bob, thank you for the interview! What are your closing words?

Only to thank you for being interested in one of my old bands. I appreciate your reaching out to me and wish you the best!