#also yes I think I’m funny. look at her hat!! :DD

[pegasister60]

Head of Research and Development: Kiwi!

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: The King of Hell’s Kitchen

And we’re back! Last time, Matt beat the crap out of Fisk, unmasked in Josie’s, and declared himself the new Kingpin. We pick up a year later, with Ben explaining to an unseen companion at a diner just what’s been going on for the past twelve months. This is gonna be a long one, guys, sorry. (Bendis/Maleev, DD v2 #56-60.)

[Content Warning: There is a passing reference to Squirrel Hill, as in the Pittsburgh neighborhood - no connection to the recent tragedy there, as this comic is about 15 years old. I just didn’t want anyone blindsided.]

Basically, despite Matt unmasking in front of a room full of criminals, everyone is too terrified of him to actually admit that they saw his face, which means that he’s been able to keep up the double life game, even though fewer people than ever believe he’s not Daredevil anymore. This is all stuff Ben has gathered through hearsay, since Matt told him to stay away for his own protection and they haven’t spoken directly since before Josie’s.

Matt even had time to grow a horrible goatee!

It’s SO BAD, MATTHEW, WHY.

He also won his lawsuit against that one tabloid, meaning that currently, in the eyes of the court, Matt Murdock is not Daredevil. He donated the enormous amount of money he won to neighborhood charities. Please note this line: “See, Matt’s new girlfriend, Milla Donovan, actually works at the Hell’s Kitchen housing commission.” Just hold onto that for a minute.

Matt’s so popular, in fact, he’s approached to run for mayor!

“I am dizzy from you.” Wow, Franklin. WOW.

Not everyone is happy with Matt’s recent choices, though, as evidenced by an intervention from some of the local superheroes:

Do you think Luke got all the way to that fourth panel before realizing he was the only one here without an alliterative name and felt suddenly self-conscious? Do you think he had a split second of “Should I try to go by Carl Cage just for right now? Could I pull it off?”

Anyway one of the things I really love about Maleev’s art is the specificity of his...well, either photo referencing or just drawing from life. I could take you to the exact spot they’re standing in Bryant Park. (It’s a logical meeting place for this group, too, since it’s centrally located and walking distance from - but not inside - Hell’s Kitchen.)

Anyway, the others are pissed because Matt saying “Get out of Hell’s Kitchen!” to criminals just...made them do crime above 59th Street and below 34th, which was a pretty foregone conclusion. Matt’s unsympathetic:

Who wants to tell Matt that Hell’s Kitchen, Harlem, and the Village are all in Manhattan and his little plan here doesn’t make sense? Like, Matt and Luke covering neighborhoods while the other three, who can travel further and faster, cover the city as a whole, does make sense, but also “go do crime over there” doesn’t stop crime. As Peter points out, while wearing a very strange facial expression.

But Matt ignores the warnings, and ignores the growing tension in Hell’s Kitchen, and then, just a few days before Ben’s telling this story, he and Milla are attacked by like a hundred Yakuza assassins. He sends Milla running for safety...and hasn’t been seen since. And that’s all Ben knows.

And that’s when we see who he’s been talking to:

I want to clarify that Ben’s explanation of the past year of events has taken two full issues. That’s like five bucks worth of comics that is Ben mansplaining Milla’s own recent history to her, including explaining to her what her job is. They should have killed 616 Ben instead, Jesus.

Also, Milla and Matt are married! Hey, how about that?! She goes on to explain to a stunned Ben (who, I guess, didn’t ask her any questions before he started talking for two entire months holy shit Ben what is wrong with you) that they got married about four months ago, and we later learn that Milla’s the one who proposed. So she proposed to a man she’d known for eight months, who is...sort of a crime boss? An anti-crime boss? Anyway, keep that in your pocket for a bit.

(I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about these two issues. Anyone who wants to hear me rant about decompression, the ask box is open.)

Uh, Milla, that’s not a compliment. You want Matt to be in love with you as a human being, not the abstract concept of you as a conglomeration of eight million people and island real estate.

Anyway, Matt told Milla that if anything went wrong, she should contact Ben. She and Ben are both baffled by this, so Ben goes to see the actual person most likely to know where Matt is:

Take the money and just make shit up, Fogy! Anyway my poor beautiful tired boy has no idea where Matt is, and is also rather wounded that Matt had a contingency plan in place for Milla but a) not for Foggy and b) didn’t tell Foggy about it. Especially since the Yakuza are out in full force and Foggy has been sleeping in his office because he can’t safely leave it.

My heart. Foggy has never really gotten to grieve on page for Karen, given that he was in jail for her funeral, but he knew her as long as Matt did (technically slightly longer) and he loved her too.

Ben tracks Matt to the Night Nurse (who, remember, is not Claire Temple in the comics) and floats a new theory by him:

I’m very sorry Matt but i can’t take you seriously with that facial hair.

Matt stops crying long enough to deny it, but by now Ben knows he’s right:

I’m...pretty sure this is the first time someone has seriously said: “Matt, your behaviors are unhealthy and I’m concerned about your mental health.” And, like, itemized them (including explicitly saying that flaking on Foggy and leaving him in these crisis situations is cruel!). People have said “you’re crazy” or “you’re being a jerk” but it’s always been said in anger. This is uncompromising but compassionate. This is “a terrible thing happened to you and I know that you’re still in pain.” No wonder Matt cries.

And Matt’s not the only one who’s listening:

Wow, Foggy has a good memory. And the face of a man who is contextualizing the past few years of his life and doesn’t like what he sees.

(A+ for the frazzle of of hat hair, Maleev.)

Matt goes to a safehouse. Foggy goes...somewhere undetermined. A spa? Everyone gets naked:

No, seriously, I have no idea why everyone needed to be SO NAKED in this scene (although I’m not complaining). Anyway please enjoy FOGGY’S TATTOO (WHAT???) and also Matt calling him both “Franklin” and “good boy” in a single page.

If you want to, like, read the actual words and pay attention to plot, I GUESS, Matt promises to deal with the Yakuza situation. Foggy’s still not happy:

YES I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD, IT’S IMPORTANT. Text if you can’t embiggen:

Matt: Are you breaking up with me?

Foggy: I don’t think you’ll let me.

Matt: I need you, Foggy. I’ll fix this. I’ll make it right.

Foggy: Yeah, okay. So just do what you have to do.

Matt: I need you to bring me something to wear.

Foggy: Something red?

Matt: It’s red?

Foggy: What?

Matt: I thought it was yellow.

Foggy: ...Are you serious?

Matt: No.

Foggy: That was pretty funny.

IT IS A VERY GOOD AND IMPORTANT EXCHANGE and it is only slightly marred by Milla draped in silent nakedness over Matt the whole time because...of reasons? Ugh.

Matt goes to get backup and finds himself being dragged for like the third time in 24 hours:

Haha! Pregnant women! So hysterical about being lied to by their friends and employers who they are risking their lives for! Hormones, fellas, amirite???! LOL.

(Seriously, fuck this shit.)

Anyway. Main Yakuza Dude Whose Name I Forget is still pretty confident about moving on Hell’s Kitchen now that Matt’s out of the picture:

Oh man, sorry about your life, Main Yakuza Dude!

“Are you guys sure you want me to do this pose? It feels more ‘boy band’ than ‘badass.’“

“Yeah, Luke, definitely!"

“Yeah? I don’t know, I kind of feel like...”

“No, dude, it works, it looks totally cool, I promise!”

They beat up the Yakuza. Meanwhile, Foggy joins Milla at the safehouse:

Why is Milla still in her underwear???????????????? #cancelmen

When Matt returns to the safehouse after defeating the Yakuza, Foggy is gone, and Milla is finally dressed...and very unhappy. She tells him what Foggy told her:

Here are the things that jump out at me about this page:

1. Milla says “this Karen Page person,” which implies that she has rarely or never heard Karen mentioned before. Considering that Matt (and Foggy!) knew Karen for, as Ben pointed out, almost all of his adult life, and that she was intrinsically tied not just to Matt (and Foggy!) but Daredevil and Nelson and Murdock, this is stunning. How do you spend a year with your wife and almost never mention someone you were intimately close to for at least a decade? I know Matt is secretive by nature, but this makes me think that Matt and Milla essentially never had any real or deep communication. Which, honestly, checks out.

2. We don’t see the conversation between Milla and Foggy. Theoretically, he could have said “LOLOLOL MATT NEVER LOVED YOU HE STILL LOVES MY DEAD FRIEND SUCK IT” but that seems...out of character, to say the least. I suspect, given how confused and distressed Milla is, that he said something more like “I think the reason Matt is acting like this is because he is still processing his trauma over the death of someone he loved very much.” Which shouldn’t be a surprise to Milla, considering that one of the very first things Matt told her was “Two women I loved have been murdered.” But apparently this is a great betrayal somehow??? Because:

And this is why I just can’t with Milla. So much of what doesn’t work with her character, like the thin personality and the helplessness and the fact that she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON, is because of sexist writing and drawing, and I’m not laying that at her feet. And I’ll be the first person to declare that Matt Murdock is a shitty boyfriend/partner and has been to literally every single woman he’s dated.

But the compassionate response to “the person I love is having a nervous breakdown because he lost someone he cared about” is not to scream “SHUT UP!!!” and accuse him of lying. I’m not married but I’m preeeeeetty sure the vows don’t include “I swear that I definitely never loved anyone else and if I did, I don’t love them anymore.” Matt broke no promises here (for once!) and, as I’ve said before, Milla went on two highly dangerous dates with Matt Murdock and then he declared himself Kingpin and then she proposed. She had all the evidence she needed that life with Matt is dangerous, bizarre, and full of ethical pitfalls and the ghosts of murdered girlfriends, and as an educated, intelligent adult woman in charge of her own business, she decided to sign up. This one is absolutely not on Matt and it pisses me off that it’s treated like it is.

Anyway. *breathes*

Next up: Black Widow returns!

[quonit-aceattorney]

4-2 Reaction (WIP)

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

---

Q: Turnabout Corner. Sounds nice enough.spin thingCARconstumes?3DNOoh so we die nowhehe the office is a mess i hate it whatever

HI LIL PERSON

Q:

Apollo's special talents: having a V for hair

hat is all i can think of

hehe this girl is great

SHE is the best person here

-Apollo punched my boy and

-Phoenix is being stupid

-THIS GIRL IS JUST BEING GREAT

lol hahahahaha...

Q:

best

she's 15? she looked younger than that

Apollo: I'm sure there's a good explanation. (I hope...) As i said im pretty sure she's adopted.

Apollo: I'm sure there's a good explanation. (I hope...) As i said im pretty sure she's adopted.

Trucy: He's in the hospital WHAT

Q:

yesss she is coming with me

hey hotti: die

i wonder how old he is now

BF:

to be fair, Phoenix did risk Apollo's entire career with that with little move.

I mean, as far as I"m concerned, he was justified, but Polly did have a right to be miffed. I'd have felt pretty used, too

haha and Trucy kind of gives off that air on purpose.

Q:

If i think about it that way it does make sense --- Phoenix: Thankfully i hit a telephone pole with my head Apollo: You hit a telephone pole with your head???!!? Me: Don't worry he's gotten assaulted many time he can handle it

BF:

it's more pronounced in the Japanese, but there was no good way to translate her speech patterns

Q:

ah..

BF:

BASICALLY she has a stage persona that she keeps on almost all the time, and it's a very cute one.

Q:

aw... man

these two are guilt tripping me into joining. ahahaha.

BF:

but she'll drop it a bit when she's talking about the things she's really proficient at, which tells you that she's honestly VERY smart

Q:

alright!

BF:

hahah if they'd tried to translate it fully, it would have given her a speech pattern that comes across as more annoying than endearing to an English speaker, so they had to lose some of that nuance for us.

Q:

makes sense.

Q:

dangit! It seems i can't present profiles anymore...

hey phoenix I'm carrying on the tradition

LOOK AT MY BADGE AND CRY ABOUT HOW YOU CAN'T FLASH YOURS ANYMORE

STUPID

Q:

IF THERE IS ONE THING I WILL NOT NOT DO FOR YOU IT IS FLASH MY GOD DAMN BADGE

Hi client! you remind me of instant noodles

Q:

and he owns a harmonica

Q:

Guy: It was stolen! My stand! Stolen! Oh ya now that guy walking around with a cart behind him in the intro makes sense

sir that's not a whistle

BF:

Eldoooooooon

Q:

sounds like you like him!

BF:

Eldoon is great hahah

Q:

Apollo keeps insisting he's a lawyer not a detective but he has no idea how much detective work it seems a lawyer usually needs to do I probably shouldn't use the first three games as an example because apparently phoenix is evil or smthn BUT

what did who steal Trucy

Q:

oh no

dangit so maybe sense that was brought up it has to do with the guy who stool the cart accidently running past or something

BF:

have a biiiit more faith in Nick hahaha

Q:

stop crying about panties I'll buy you new ones I LIKE HIM A LOT I'm just talking from apollo's perspective because he apparently is mad at him for something im not allowed to hear about. Otherwise, im almost 100% with Phoenix

I still refuse to use the nickname 'nick' haha

BF:

Oh, no you know. He's miffed about the forged ace from the last trial, and he's also just mad in general that that trial resulted in him losing a steady job.

Q:

aww...

BF:

YES IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, but Apollo did end up being out of work for a month or so

Q:

DANGIT phoenix i understand and also Kris is probably evil BUT dangit whater I'm still mostly on your side

Now my age old tradition of: Examine everything because dialogue

Q:

Mr. Charley... I remember that... HEY

BF:

hahaha yeah, but no...I'm bang on Phoenix's side too, but you still have to consider that from Apollo's POV, in a single trial, he found out his trusted mentor wasn't the person he thought he was, AND he had his hero use him as a pawn.

Q:

Apollo don't judge my boy about a potted plant. Especially when you yell at the top of your lungs before every trial. you have no wright to judge puns

BF:

AGAIN, for the greater good...Kristoph wouldn't have been the best mentor to continue having in the long run...but that all still has got to sting.

lololol

CHARLEY IS AN ESTABLISHED MEMBER OF THIS OFFICE

Q:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ONLY HAVE TWO MEMBERS THERE ARE 3

pleeeaaaassseeeee

Phoenix explain more and be nicer and be better and you know what you're mostly fine and Apollo im sorry for what he did please move on

Q:

....I need to sleep now. I got a lot done though!

BF:

hahaha okaaaay

gniiight

Q:

let's recap on what happened when i last played: Apollo had to suffer through an extremly hard tutorial level and then punched a homeless man. Homeless man and his kid guilt tripped into helping some awesome noddle guy find his stand, help homeless guy find out who ran him over, and help his kid find her panties. ALRIGHT

Q:

not sure if i examined everything yet so

Q:

Trucy apparently uses the split box for furniture. Very smart. Apollo is creeped out though.

Q:

Apollo: But you can't play the piano with all of the stuff on it I thought you already knew that nobody around here is going to be playing piano

Q:

i should really sto examining everything and actually start doing stuff

to the accident scene

THUMBFACE!!! i remember seeing a picture of her

Q:

i like her

Q:

Hey so apollo likes tea too! Awesome!

THE MAN WHO FLEW 30 FEET AND THEN JUST WALKED AWAY YES

Q:

Apollo let her handle it she's obviously doing much better than you are

Q:

i hate how we can't present profiles anymore

who is this yellow person

Q:

IT'S EMA!!!

AND A COOLER VERSION OF HER SONG IS PLAYING

BF:

I told you someone was coming back sooooooon~

Q:

:DD

once again i am so mad i can't present profiles anymore. H

Q: yes. How could she.

alright!

Q: she is doing that glasses thing she did i love her

hey miss can you help me go to talk to ema

BF: hahaha Ema being a grouchy pants?

I got you on this. Go talk to HoboNick

BF: lol I'm not sure how many people agree with me on this, but I actually love grumpy Ema.

Q:

so do I love her

HEY NICK WHERE ARE YOU

BF:

just LEAVE ME ALONE I"M EATTING. *angry munching*

Q:

dagit where is he

Q:

hehe

well i can't find him so im going to go to that room i havn't been at yet

oh hey it's the eldoon guy

Q:

i bet you expected i already met with him but nope

BF:

met with whom?

Q:

eldoon... you told me to meet up with phoenix but he wasn't there so I assumed i needed to do something before he reappeared or he was in a different place i should no about already.

how did i mix up know and no

awww the dog needs food

BF:

hmmm maybe I misremembered...have you tried back at the office?

Q:

i need to get to the office to get to the clinic place. Now that i'm done here maybe it updated

Q:

nah it didn't. I have another room to go to now though!

Q:

looks like i found the panties

so that is why they were son important to her! They were magic!

Q:

Apollo: Look, it's a folding ladder Trucy: That's called a 'step ladder' oh my god

Admit it Trucy your father's logic is flawed

BF:

hahahah MAGIC PANTIES

get used to those, they will be mentioned a LOT

Q:

oh boyphoenix still isn't back. I'll keep checking in to see what is going on and if he is back

BF:

Hmmm. maybe I was wrong about that.

Q:

i think you were right but you were wrong about what time

Q:

When you're stuck: CHECK THE TALK BUTTON

BF:

hahaha ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA

and present everything to everyone!

Q:

ow could they do this to me.

BF:

I think they decided that was too complicated hahah

Q:

oh ya! I forgot! I can examine the examined!

Q:

yay i found another peice of evidence

i only have 5

Q:

im stuck

BF:

Hmmmm

talk to Little Plum again?

I know she has more than one piece of evidence

Q:

hey! Trucy found stuff in the trash can!!

it's the mirror to the car!!

Q:

yesss i think we can talk to phoenix again now

yaaaaay hello homeless person

Q:

why is yellow girl at the office/home

Q:

Well sure i'll defend. You look like you could pay me so I'm sure apollo would be glad.

BF:

hahha BINGO if Alita's around and you've got a confirmed corpse, you are definitely on the right track

Q:

yess

BF:

oh and yeah I should have asked if you'd checked the trash can

Q:

aw he looks cute IS THAT A BLUE BADGER SHIRT :OOO --- it's fine, haha

BF:

hahaha THIS GUY

and YES AND NO. this doesn't spoil much, I think, to say that's a character from the Badger universe

like Bad Badger or something. You can tell he's up to no good because he wears SUNGLASSES

Q:

THE DETENTION CENTER LOOKS SO DIFFERENT what the heck

BF:

it's fancier looking now is all hhahahah

remember to examine everything~

Q:

oh ya!

BF:

whoop brb but I'll tell you one thing...you'll KNOW EXACTLY when you are about to meet the rockstar prosecutor

Q:

yesss

Q:

it's another mr. gavin

uh

uh

uhh

what the

EMA SAVE ME

Ema: Anyway! This scene is off limits! NOT ANYMORE

I thought i would be happy to meet that guy but that just confused me so much hahaha

Q:

she's not talking to me but she'ss till great

Q:

well she isn't talking with me but i found eldoon's cart

Q:

Phoenix: Apollo. Tell me about this 'prince' of Trucy's. Well uh he's apparently bisexual and flirted with me and was very nice to your daughter and absolutely shocked me even though i thought i saw it coming

Q:

Apollo: White power...? I hope it's not what i think it is... THIS GAME

Q:

i forgot where he said it was

i am terrible with instructions apparently because i remember this happening before

Q:

and it doesn't look like he's going to repeat himself. Dammit.

Q:

Phoenix: Some kid i know keeps sending them to me oh hey was that the not-by name reference to Maya?

i need to find the white power stuff but i don't remember where it is

BF:

it's in the office!

BF:

ahahah and yes, that's almost certainly a Maya reference...the only character who's even close as much of a Steel Samurai fan as her is Edgeworth, and I don't see Edgey sending Nick DVDs and making him right reports

SO MAYA STILL AROUND

SOMEWHERE. AND KEEPING IN TOUCH

Q:

BACK

whaaat Edgey likes steel samurai? BACK TO GAME

to the office.

(where in the office

BF:

hahaha yeah it's kind of a subtle side gag in the original trilogy, but there are hints. the biggest one being the fact that he actually displays the SS figure Oldbag gave him in his office

it's more of a blatant running gag in other games.

Q:

nice haha

Q:

(this office is so cluttered where the hell is it)

BF:

and IIRC it should be on the split cabinet thing. the one used for the saw trick

I mean in cluttered rooms like that examine everything anyway, but I think that's where it is. or Very near there/

Q:

examined it and i can't find it :( I'll try checking near it

found it!!!

Trucy: I thought it was sugar so i looked it... He got mad at me DON'T LICK IT

APOLLO IT'S NOT DRUGGS

HEY EMA CAN YOU TALK TO ME NOW

Q:

yay :D

now that i am over the initial chock of meeting him i decided i like Klavier btw

Q:

Ema: A pistol... Not that easy to come by in this day and age let's hope so

BF:

hahaahah. GOTTA REALIZE HE ISN'T HIS BROTHER IN DIFFERENT CLOTHES

Q:

THEY AREN'T EVEN TWINS

BF:

but they DO look absurdly alike.

I know right? Can you believe that Kris is like 8 years older that Klavier?

Q:

EIGHT??? whaaat

BF:

7-8...I forget which. it's a big age gap.

but if you slapped glasses on Klav, you'd have a hard time telling them apart

Q:

I'm going to come back. This is great.

IM GOING TO EAT DINNER

BF:

hahah OKAY

Q:

back

Q:

Trucy don't act so surprised. Like, there has been no time i can recall when the evidence when first presented has been directly helpful.

Q:

ema is great i love her

....though i think we're done talking with her for now

WAIT NO I CAN EXAMINE STUFF

Q:

more underwear!