#also yeah i don’t talk about it too much but i love my mum SO MUCH she’s a real life angel and she’s always been so supportive of my
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Girlypop, HEAR ME OUT...!! Taesan having baby fever and just, going to town on them. Honestly I can kinda see Myungjae and Sungho too but YK!!
-🎬
oh god……. i’m having THOUGHTS
[taesan, jaehyun, sungho x reader, smut, fem!reader, breeding kink]
i think that …taesan… would be the one most likely to use his breeding kink in your everyday sex life cause he KNOWS that he wants a baby, especially with you, and i think he would love to imagine you pregnant as well, there’s something about it so yeah i imagine if he gets baby fever? like lets imagine him coming home from the shoot they did with the three kids? oh god at first he’d just be telling you about it and gushing about how cute this baby was and then it would spiral into talk about your own kids and suddenly taesan’s hard at the thought of you swollen with his baby. he’d also talk the whole way through it about:
“gonna have my baby yeah? god, such a good girl for me.”
“f-fuck! gonna fuck you so full of my cum there’s no chance you’re not pregnant.”
“gonna look so good swollen with my baby. everyone will know you’re mine.”
“god! gonna keep you barefoot and pregnant just for me, yeah?”
while taesan enjoys it because of how much he wants a baby, i think that …jaehyun… would enjoy it more for the raw/horniness deal of it. not that he doesn’t love babies and he definitely wants a baby with you, but to me he seems more like the kind to cum into you first, maybe mumbling a couple things about getting you pregnant, but afterwards when his minds a bit clearer he’ll start getting excited about pregnancy and babies and your future and even MORE so if he has baby fever. no1 yapper after sex (if he’s not zonked out). also i think as jaehyun’s the leader, he feels a lot more responsibility so he would only feed into this kink if you were on the pill/coil wtv because at this moment???? he can not afford to get you pregnant. but in the future? damn.
(just before he cums) “ah! y/n, please! want my cum? want me to cum in you? fuck, i’m gonna fill you up. gonna take my baby like a good… f-fuck!”
(after sex) “can you imagine our baby? i don’t know if i can! they’re definitely going to be so cute though, so pretty… god, i hope they have your eyes! were you serious, by the way?—”
i think that kind of similarly to jaehyun …sungho… actually has a MAJOR breeding kink, but would never bring it up to you (cause as we’ve already established sungho would give up EVERYTHING if it meant his partner would feel good/comfortable) UNTIL… you get on the pill/coil wtv, maybe for other reasons, maybe cause you were sick of running out of condoms, wtv, but when you first tell sungho? he swallows nervously, his dick already getting hard at the thought of cumming inside you. you tease him relentlessly about it as he blushes and tries to ignore it, but when it comes to it he can’t help the words coming out his mouth:
“you’re gonna be such a good mum, fuck…”
“ugh! need to pump you full of my cum. need to make you pregnant, please, y/n– ugh…”
“gonna look so gorgeous all round and pregnant for me.”
“gonna take my cum like a good girl? yeah? make sure to lift your hips up, baby, wouldn’t want to spill a drop…”
#🎬 anon#🎬#bnd hard thoughts ☽。⋆#myungjae🪻🐕#our yeppi <3#taesan🎸🐈⬛#🏠 who’s there?#bnd smut#taesan smut#myung jaehyun smut#park sungho smut
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Your spidersona kazia slaps. Thanks for sharing!
thank you!!! ☹️☹️☹️ my oc art never did so well and i’m so fucking happy you all like kazia! especially that i included my beloved cat (who i still fucking MISS SO MUCH) in this verse AND kazia is named after my wonderful mum! (i mean her name is not kazia but it’s her nickname!!!)
#vic.txt#vic answers#also yeah i don’t talk about it too much but i love my mum SO MUCH she’s a real life angel and she’s always been so supportive of my#queerness and my art career and the way i express myself….. she’s the best#my dad’s pretty homophobic but she always showed me kindness and love and i adore her for that
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Genuinely gonna cry cause I saw the most disgusting thing ( literally what’s new I get new traumas at least once a day LMAO )
#I’d rather watch gore#than see this#SOB SOB SOBBBB#ik I was saying stuff like girl kaveh we are married bla bla bla etc redacted + etc for good measure but today I realise I don’t mean that#because I feel like crying#I think I proved to myself none of this is very comfy no matter the gender LMAO anyways me and girl kaveh are still married I’ll just cry#as much if kaveh was a boy too as well as if he’s a girl 🤷♀️#astaghfirAllah I’m so annoying this makes no sense to you guys but I am in shambles 😭#dora daily#the “you guys” are the guests in my head the voices 😔🖤🥀⛓️💔#I was like in the past I might’ve been a tad fruity but turns out I was just traumatised and also I hate everyone equally#THIS REMINDS ME today my grandpa (😾) answered my dads call and I rolled my eyes so far back I saw my optic nerve#so cue covering my face as my dad was shoving the phone on my face while I was being verbally harassed into saying hi (I don’t wanna say hi)#so then my dad explains that I’m not an affectionate person and I dislike love because I don’t kiss him (firstly even if he was a normal man#I wouldn’t do it) and he went on to say I don’t even let my mum kiss me etc etc because I hate it#not only that it’s just I’m so sick of them all man 😭 I’m okay with hugs it’s just nothing I feel particularly inclined to#like I’ll do it if it’s expected but I’m like I dunno I wouldn’t feel an undying urge to ???#and then my grandpa was like the shocked pikachu face#yeah like I am never kissing anyone on the cheek all I want is to be left alone 😭#my dads shock when he realises I do in fact hate love when I’m 50 and unmarried#I can’t believe he as a man knowing what men are like expects me to want a guy#barf#and don’t get me started on how men talk about women like they’re in a cult and women are trading cards#like do they not get jealous 😭 whyre they like good on you bro you scored etc etc#I’m not explaining this right but I hope y’all get what I’m trying to say#damn fellas this one was a touch long#my apologies
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PRICE TO PAY
pairing: god!satoru gojo x fem!reader
summary: you had prayed and prayed for the drought to finally end, for the village to finally be granted rain, so when meeting one of the gods you strike a deal and pay the price.
content: 4.4k, smut, pwp, big dick!gojo, virgin!reader, praise, degradation, dirty talk, cunnilingus (fem. receiving), ice play, bondage, gagging, fingering, squirting, orgasm control, overstimulation, public but also not public sex
note: have fun :D
The heat beat down on your face as you walked up the hill, buckets of water straining your shoulders. Your throat was parched and you were drenched in sweat. You were so thirsty it was unbearable. It had been months since the last rain and the nearest stream was miles away. Your village had long since lost hope, abandoning their faith in the gods. But not you. You knew they were up there. You believed they would help.
While everyone else assumed the drought would eventually end, as it had before, you couldn’t wait. Your brother was so young; he might not survive much longer. Water was life and without it survival was impossible.
“Hey, Ren.” You forced a smile for your brother. His face was flushed, and his clothes were tattered. “Come on, you need to drink this.”
Ren coughed, struggling to sit up. “Y/n, you’re back.”
“Yeah.” You brought the bowl closer to his lips, urging him to drink. He sipped weakly. “How have you been feeling?”
“I feel really hot.” You felt his forehead and sighed when you felt it even warmer than before. The fever he had was burning through his body. Ren wrapped his arms around your waist, clinging on you tightly. “Y/n you won’t leave me will you? Not like mum and dad.”
Brushing his hair out of his eyes, you felt your heart break a little. “Of course I won’t leave you. You’re gonna be stuck with me for the rest of your life, promise.” He grinned, giggling. There’s a small bit of you that wished that this would end soon but you knew better.
“I love you Y/n.” Ren mumbled, eyes fluttering shut.
“Love you too Ren.”
You were shaken awake and you nearly screamed when you caught sight of a beautiful face in front of you. His jaw was perfectly chiselled and his lips were plump, kissable almost. You felt your cheeks flushed. His eyes were what captured you most of all. Sapphire swirls painted his eyes, you felt yourself being pulled towards him.
“You mortals really do sleep like - what’s the saying? Oh yes - like the dead.” His sneer transformed his handsome features into something far more menacing. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to spend the night at a temple?”
“I-I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep by accident.” You tried to move away but it was like an invisible force was keeping you from moving your limbs. He smirked, crawling closer to you so that you were inches apart. “W-Who are you?”
“Little mortal doesn’t know who I am.” His tongue flicked over his lips. “You’re in my temple, little one.”
"Y-Your temple…" The cogs in your brain turned and you let out a frightened gasp. "Y-You're a God."
He grinned, a low chuckle escaping his lips. "Smarter than you look. It's Y/n isn't it?" Words failed you and you felt your throat grow dry. He twisted a strand of your hair around his finger. "You've been praying for a heavy rain season for weeks. How could I not remember your name."
"Does that mean you'll help me?"
"I'm afraid the weather is in my brother's domain. I control the oceans, mortal."
"I know who you are, Satoru Gojo, God of the oceans and earthquakes. Your brother controls the sky and its weather." You said meekly, feeling your cheeks burn at how close he was. The tapestries had always depicted him as a handsome man with bulging muscles. But something about seeing him in real life had you so enamoured.
Satoru smirked, the blue in his eyes growing even brighter. His body glowed with a soft, golden aura. You gulped, unable to meet his gaze. "And yet you knew that, but still came to pray to me every day, making sacrifices as well."
"W-Well they say you're the most generous s-so I thought…"
"You thought I would help you?" Satoru cocked his head to the side. "Don't you know everything comes with a price?"
"And I'm willing to pay that price."
A silent pause passed between the two of you before a smirk crept up on Satoru’s face. You noticed his eyes grow darker, the bright pigment transformed into a much more seductive hue.
“My, my, little mortal’s brave.” You felt his eyes trailing over your body and you felt like you’re being hunted. “So you’ll do anything?” His fingers brushed over your thigh teasingly. You nodded.
A wicked grin spread across his face. You squeaked in surprise when his mouth collided onto yours. The intoxicating scent of the ocean filled your senses and your eyes fluttered shut. Satoru’s lips moved ferociously against yours, it made you feel dizzy yet they tasted sweet at the same time. You could taste the sugary taste of leftover ambrosia as he delved into your wet cavern, tongue exploring each and every crevice.
Your arms remained by your side, unsure of what to do. But when Satoru tugged you forward, they wrapped around him tightly, and you felt him smirk. Your hands wandered over his rippling muscles, trying to carve the feeling into your memory. He bit down on your bottom lip, drawing the slightest bit of blood.
The taste of your own blood mingled with the sweetness of ambrosia, created a heady mixture that made you gasp. Satoru pulled back slightly, his breath hot against your skin. "Everything comes with a price, little one." He murmured, his voice a velvety whisper. "Are you sure you're willing to pay it?"
You nodded, breathless and trembling. "Anything, just please help us."
Satoru's grin widened, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of amusement and something darker. "Very well, mortal. But remember, once a deal is struck with a god, there's no going back."
His fingers traced patterns on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "You'll belong to me," he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. "Body and soul."
You felt yourself growing hot as he ravaged your mouth, a soft growl emitting from his throat. You weren’t familiar with his actions, you had never been bedded, too busy tending to your sick brother. The people had called you many names but you didn't care. But now, with your minimal experience, you were nervous, scared even at the thought of a God deflowering you. Nevertheless, you started to grow wet, your pussy started to stick to the thin piece of cloth that covered you.
Satoru pulled away yet again, a single strand of salvia connected the both of you as he awaited your answer. You panted, out of breath and slightly intoxicated from just the sense of him.
“Do you accept?” His voice was deep and sultry, something about him was so deliciously seductive that you couldn't help the way your thighs squeezed together involuntarily.
"I accept."
Satoru's eyes flashed with satisfaction. "Good. Then let our pact be sealed." He captured your lips again, this time more possessively, his hands roaming your body with a newfound intensity. You let out a moan as his tongue slithered back into your mouth.
He sunk two fingers into your folds making you whimper at the stretch. Your hands gripped his biceps, nails digging down. Satoru licked his lips, continuing to pump into you, gradually increasing the pace. The lewd noises that filled your ears made a blush rise to your cheeks. Never in your life have you felt so dirty, so shameless.
"You're dripping, my sweet. Who would've thought you'd be this turned on." His tone was laced with unmistakable lust and hunger. "Been watching you for so long. Couldn't wait any longer to be inside you." He growled, fucking into you faster, drawing louder moans out of you.
"S-Satoru…" You gasped as he plunged another digit into you, manoeuvring his fingers so he hit all the right spots. "I-I…"
He stared at your core, your juices all over. For a second he slowed down, giving you a chance to breathe and relax before he picked up the pace. Curling his fingers, touching your sweet sensitive spots in your velvet walls. His thumb rubbed your clit, playing with your sensitive nub. A tight hot rope seemed to wrap around your stomach as Satoru continued to fuck you harder. He smirked as your walls squeezed his fingers. You let out a gasp when he touches a particular spot within you.
"Close my sweet?" He whispered, lips brushing against your ear and it sent you closer to your high. All you could do is nod fervently, the twisting feeling wrapping around your stomach tightened. You mewled as he fucked you faster, adding another digit. “You can’t cum just yet, got to make sure you’re ready for my cock.” He hummed.
You clenched around his fingers once more, tears pricked your eyes as you threw your head back at the pleasure you were receiving. Satoru surged forward, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. He swallowed your moans and whimpers. His lips trailed down your neck, leaving soft open-mouthed kisses in his wake. Your noises were like music to his ears as he drank in every moan, whimper, mewl - the breathy gasps and the lewd pants.
“You know my sweet, there’s something that I love about being a God.”
You gazed at him through your lashes, his lips curling up into a devilish smirk. An ice cube appeared in his hand. You weren’t sure what to think until he slid it up and down your hot wet folds, then you were gasping at the coldness that hit your core. There was a rush of newfound delight that filled you up and you were rutting your hips, asking for more.
Satoru simply grinned, pushing the cube of ice further inside you watching your reactions bloom in front of him. His fingers were dripping with both water and your arousal. You let out a soft hiss when the ice cube is pressed harder into you. The coldness contrasted with the warmness of your needy walls. It spiked through your body as it made your blood rise and your head became light at the overwhelming feeling. You were clutching onto Satoru with so much force that it would hurt him but he didn’t care, not when he was in the midst of unravelling you.
“Let’s see how many you can hold.” It shocked you into a frenzy when you felt another ice cube get pushed inside you, the last one still slowly melting.
“Mmmph. Too much, ngh, feels weird, ‘s too much.” Your mind seemed to explode as you babbled incoherently. “F-fuckkk ‘toru it’s cold a-and-“
You were unable to finish your sentence as Satoru reached out his hands to pinch your clit causing you to jolt forward at the sudden gesture. You felt a rush as you gazed up at him. watching his smirk grow as he looked at your sopping pussy.
“You’re so beautiful!” He teased your folds, rubbing against them harsher. “Take more for me okay? You’re such a good girl, my sweet, keep that dirty pussy dripping as I stuff you, okay?” Satoru’s lips brushed your ear. “Then I’ll let you cum.”
You felt yourself spiralling into euphoria when he slid his finger down your pussy. His tongue flicked over his lips as he admired your fucked out face. Morals left your body and you let your urges take over. All reason and thought left you as you were reduced to a whining needy mess. Your pussy clenched pathetically around the ice cubes, the cold still surprising you. Satoru did nothing but coo at you, tucking strands of loose hair behind your ear.
“Come on my sweet.” He urged. “You're doing so well. This pussy is so pretty, she’s just so gorgeous, fuckkk, wish you could see her.”
“A-Ah, ‘toru good f-feels so g-good.”
You were writhing beneath his grip, a feeling of overwhelming pleasure surged through you as he continued his actions. Your pussy constricted around his fingers and you felt something grow within you. Your nerves and senses were heightened as you felt his fingers nudge at your swollen clit.
“I-I feel somethingg, ngh, f-feels weird like I’m gonna burst-” You gasped out, unable to keep the noises within you.
“Awwww.” Satoru’s tone was mocking as he watched your tiny frame twist and turn under his grip. A wicked grin spread across his face. “You’re close, my sweet, beg to cum and maybe I’ll be nice enough to let you.”
It was almost painful but the pleasure was so uncontrollable that it overtook any pain you felt. Satoru slid another freezing ice cube into you, making you scream. Your mind was dizzy and you could only feel yourself getting stretched repeatedly with the cold object. Your pussy walls were both cold and hot, the mixture that Satoru had concocted dripping from them. Sweat covered your body, glistening as the sun shone down. You felt like you were on the verge of collapsing, so desperate for an unknown pleasure to come to your saviour.
“S-Satoru...cum, p-please. W-Wanna cum…” You stuttered helplessly, silently shrieking at the contrast of temperatures.
“More, beg more.”
You screamed at the feeling as his fingers thrusted in you making your head light as you desperately gripped onto his shoulders, clawing at some sort of way to tether you to the present. His words were laced with seduction as he continued to tease you.
“C-Cum cum cum, please pleaseee, needa cum so b-bad ‘toru fuckkk! P-Please let me cum, ‘s too much need it s-so bad, please please please!”
Satoru laughed as he buried his head in your neck, placing kisses on the empty space. He loved your desperate pleas, the breathy moans that would fill the gaps and the tears that followed as you begged him for something you had never experienced before.
“You’ve been such a good girl.” He purred, his deep voice making you clench around him. “And good girls deserve to cum. Go on my sweet, let it all out on my fingers, make a mess of this pussy.”
You felt a wave of ecstasy rush over you as he pressed his fingers down, biting into your neck. Your body shook at the sensation that overcame you. You rocked against Satoru as you felt your pussy squeeze and constrict. A newfound feeling gushed from within you and you felt yourself scream at the pleasure. Your mind was reduced to filth as you moaned, the ringlets of your release jolting through your body. Satoru groaned at the way your cum coated his fingers and he stared at your desperate cunt, watching the aftermath of the mess you had just created. You didn’t know what to think, your mind cloudy and confused.
“You fucking squirted, dirty fucking girl.” His eyes were transfixed and suddenly you felt embarrassed at the wetness between your thighs. He reached his hands out forcing you to stay open for him, exposing your most private part for him to ogle at. “Who knew this cute little pussy was capable of such filthy things. You’re just a whore in disguise aren’t you?”
Your pathetic mewls convinced him of nothing. Satoru stared in wonder at your pussy, watching as you clenched around nothing. He slid his fingers in his mouth, tasting every bit of you. A low moan was heard before he dived down licking up your mess. Still sensitive, you cried in shock, threading your hands through his hair. He sucked harshly at your sensitive bud, lapping at your juices. The feeling made tears bleed from your eyes and you tug on his wispy locks.
“Like it, my sweet?” His voice sent tingles down your spine and you held back the urge to scream. “Can’t hear you?”
“L-Like it so much ‘toru…” You let out a shaky breath, beads of your tears clinging onto your lashes. “P-Please…”
He lapped at your cunt greedily, swallowing every single drop. Your arousal dripped from his chin with a mixture of his salvia. His ears were blessed at the loud squelch that would emit from between your legs. Everything was so messy but he didn’t care as he continued to play with your pretty cunt. You could only whine and quiver at the feeling. Your legs shook, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. Blissful thoughts whizzed by as he kept you locked in an euphoric sensation. You struggled to not cry out and sob when white dots blurred your vision.
Satoru flicked his tongue against your engorged clit, plunging the wet muscle inside. His mouth was hot and you felt his tongue circle your swollen clit messily while you stuttered out pleading moans. He pried open your thighs, desperate to access deeper into the precious new heaven he had discovered. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head at the overstimulation, finding it hard to focus on anything as your senses overloaded. Your mouth hung open as sweet whines constantly fell from your lips. All you could do was lie there letting Satoru ravage your pussy like a man dying of thirst.
“C-Close, close so so so close!” You gasped when you felt him release with a pop before diving back down to continue to suck. “Too much, ‘toru ‘s too much, feels t-too goodddd…”
It wasn’t long before you were cumming again. Another round of your wet arousal coating his face and he licked it clean. You were drooling now, salvia running down your chin as you felt the tears run down your face. It was too much and you feel yourself fall into a new world of pure pleasure. You could feel Satoru’s lustful grin against you as he sucked your pussy. Your thighs shook, chest heaving up and down. Despite the fact you had just released it never stopped the god from indulging you in his carnal desire.
"Sweet little Y/n." He cooed as his thumb ghosted circles around your puffy clit. “Think you’re ready for my cock?”
It was a question that didn’t need an answer but you still nodded your head lifelessly. Your body was limp in his grip and you struggled to hold yourself up, relying only on him. Satoru smirked from above you, pushing you down on the marble floor. His hands were big and warm and the simple touch had heat blossoming at your pussy. You barely registered what was happening until you had your hands tied together. A thin golden cord wrapped around your wrists and Satoru bit his lip. You looked so beautiful, so pretty, so submissive.
“I like you this way my sweet. All tied up and ready to be used.” He frowned and you panicked, scared you had angered him. He snapped his fingers and you found a piece of cloth in your mouth, stopping you from speaking. “That’s better, as much as I love your noises I find this much more appealing.”
Your eyes widened when he reached down to release his cock from its confines. You had never seen something so big and dare you say pretty. Satoru’s cock was red and flushed, pre cum oozing out of the swollen tip, dripping like pearls as they rolled down his fat cock head. You felt yourself drool at the sight and you didn’t think you would want something in your mouth so bad. He grinned smugly at your reaction, knowing you were unable to say anything as you stared transfixed at the sight before you.
“Don’t worry my sweet, I’ll make sure to make you feel so good. I know how much this pussy loves to be filled up.”
The words are dirty yet you couldn’t help but let out a muffled whine as he picked you up. His tip pushed past your folds, nudging into your pussy hole. You shut your eyes letting yourself feel the stretch that he gave you. His cock was so big and every bit of your body felt like it was on fire as he continued to push inside. He paused letting you adjust, whispering into your ear quietly. Filthy praises that only made you drip and mewl. It felt like magic and you whimpered into your gag helplessly. Satoru’s fingers brushed through your hair and he peppered sweet kisses across your face.
It was like your world had imploded as he thrusted into you. Nothing else mattered as you moaned and squirmed at his touch. Your senses went into overdrive as he quickened his thrusts. He pumped in and out of you. He filled every crevice of your sex. His pace never slowed even as you felt all the energy leave your body. You screamed into the gag when he hit that particular spot that had you keeling. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head and you gasped for air through the gag.
“Fuckkk you’re so tight, such a slutty virgin pussy. Look at how you’re gripping on my cock my sweet, she’s so loud.”
His words only made you keen with desire as you gave in to the carnal temptation that bloomed within you.
“Mmmmph!” Your moans grew louder with every harsh thrust as his cock touched every part of your gummy walls. “Ah-Ah-Ah! ‘toruuuu!”
Satoru showed no mercy as he pounded into you. Cock plunging in and out of your pussy. Wet noises echoed through the walls of the temple and a small part of you felt bad for doing this, here of all places. It was inappropriate but it felt so good. Too good even. He continued his movements and the binds that once bound you vanished and you assumed that this was a sign that Satoru wanted you to touch him so you obeyed. Your fingers dragged down his back, sure to leave marks. Fingers fluttered from place to place, desperate for something to anchor you.
“You look so beautiful, pussy sucking in my big cock. Such a good girl for me.” He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. Everything he did felt amazing. “Moan for me my sweet, go on let me hear those filthy sounds.”
You obeyed his command letting the lewd sounds tumble from your lips as you gasped for more. Your hands roamed the vast expanse of his body, the taut muscles that lay under your hands, each touch ignited sparks. His grip on you tightened, his fingers tangling in your hair, pulling just enough to make you gasp again. Every brush of his lip, every stroke of his tongue, every bite and nibble was a reminder of his power and you couldn’t help but give in completely.
The vigor that he fucked you with was compared to no man and you couldn’t help the lustful sounds that escaped your lips as his hips snapped to yours. It made your mind reel with the feeling of pleasure. His hair fell into his eyes and you reached your hands to sweep through his locks. Satoru was so handsome. He was a god after all and you couldn’t help that your heart pounded whenever you looked at him.
You felt your orgasm approach and you clenched your hands around his toned biceps, nails digging into his skin and he hissed. You moaned repeatedly into the gag as your body shook frantically from the pleasure.
“A-A-Ahhh! ‘toru ‘toru ‘s too much, nghh.” Your body thrashed in his grasp, wriggling and writhing as you felt the immense feeling build up again. Every movement magnified the intensity as you felt the shock ricochet throughout your body.
“It’s okay my sweet.” Satoru whispered but his thrusts were unrelenting. His fingers brushed against your clit, circling the bundle of nerves as he drew out your orgasm. “It’s okay, let's cum together. Soak my cock Y/n, such a good girl.”
Your juices overflowed and you felt his cum pump into your body, filling you up until you were so so full. Warmth blossomed throughout your body and you felt yourself wringing his cock with every drop of cum. The feeling was incomparable and you gasped for air once he removed the gag with the snap of his fingers. Satoru kissed you, his lips were demanding, moving against yours with raw hunger. The taste of the ocean filled your senses, salty and intoxicating. He pulled out to place a kiss on your thighs, on your pussy. You were so sensitive and you felt his cum as it flowed out of you. He stuffed two fingers in your pussy and you squealed at the sudden gesture. His fingers curled in and out of you before he slapped your core. The sting sent shock waves through your body and you couldn’t help the moan that tumbled out of your lips.
“Keep it in there my sweet, I’ll be visiting again.” His voice was a husky whisper, deep and seductive.
Then, with those words, he disappeared, leaving you a naked mess on the temple floor. You were breathless and reeling from the pleasure that he had just bestowed upon you. You had just given yourself to a god, one that had just stuffed you so full of his cum. You stared at the place where he had been in shock, your head felt light from all that had just happened. Your legs gave way when you tried to stand up, they were sore and achy, covered in splatters of both of your cum. His smirks and groans filled your senses once again and you felt yourself flush at the memory.
Satoru Gojo had just introduced a lustful desire that you didn’t think you would be able to forget for a very long time.
You gathered your belongings with shaking hands, urgently attempting to steady yourself as you stood. The wet splashes that painted your body were a stark reminder of what had just happened, and you tried your hardest to conceal them along with your flushed, fucked-out face.
You hobbled your way back to the village, heart pounding in your chest. Every glance from a passerby felt like they could see right through you. The sheer thought that someone would stop to talk to you had you eager to get home unnoticed.
Unbeknownst to you, Satoru was watching from Olympus, his eyes never leaving your retreating form. He grinned, a sense of satisfaction washing over him as he saw your tiny self hurry home. The memory of your trembling body and flushed cheeks was seared into his mind and he felt his cock harden again at the thought. He knew you were thinking of him, longing for him, and that was exactly what he wanted. When the time was right, he would come for you again, and induce you in a pleasurable haze once more.
#jjk smut#gojo smut#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen#satoru x you#satoru gojo#smut#jjk fic
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Can you do reader is Lando’s little sister and favourite but they barely see each other cause reader is at boarding school and she surprises him at the race. Also cameo of some other drivers too please.
Lando Norris x sister!reader
Summary - Request above xo
Warning - Like one swear one
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During her last year of primary education, Cisca and Adam both sat their youngest child down and discussed the possibility of boarding school.
Both knew it would be hard for the whole family to separate. Yet they both also knew that it would make their lives a lot easier.
With Landos up and coming career in motorsport racing and the rest of their children's careers also slowly building up, neither parent wanted to deprive or abandon Y/n. So with her agreement, they enrolled her into a well reviewed and well known boarding school a few miles out of Bristol.
Laurence Crawford Boarding.
The first few days, of course she was homesick. Missing Lando more than anyone else in the family. Of course. But eventually Y/n made friends and was becoming more and more independent by the day.
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“Hey Mum!” The young girl giggled down the phone. She was in her shared dorm with a few friends when Cisca called. “Annie! No stop! Ew!”
Cisca took note of her daughter's divided attention, taking an easy guess that she was hanging out with a few friends. “Hi sweetheart, am I calling at a bad time?” Even though neither could see each other, she had a warm and proud smile on her face just thinking about how far Y/n has come.
The innocent giggle down the phone grew quieter and quieter. Y/n was walking away from her friends. “Sorry mum, yeah I can talk. We were just having a games night in my dorm…” Ciscas heart just warmed, happy that her youngest child was growing up and maturing.
“Oh no worries, go and hang out with your friends! Have fun!” And with a couple goodbyes and a ‘I love you’ between the two, Y/n was back hanging out with her friends.
-
Unlike her younger years of boarding, Y/n hadn’t been home from school on the weekend in a long while. She couldn’t; especially with her exams quickly approaching, she was in her dorm studying and revising most weekends.
This meant the youngest Norris hadn’t seen her family in a few weeks. Of course she had spoken to them but hadn’t been home since the end of January, and they all understood why. It was harder for some to swallow that pill - well harder for one person particularly e.g Lando.
The Silverstone grand-prix was just around the corner and all he wanted was for his youngest sister to be there. Yeah it was selfish but he missed her, to be far the last time the two saw each other was early January. He missed her so much.
“Are you sure you can’t just take the exam early and then come and support me?” His rough voice rang through Y/n's phone whilst she was highlighting her revision. Lando wasn’t even trying to hide his annoyance.
A gentle laugh followed by a sigh was heard from Y/ns side of the call. “I’m sorry Lan…I can’t ask them to move the exam, it’s against the rules of the exam board…”
She didn’t have an exam that week actually, she was lying. Y/n was going to be in Silverstone that sunday. It’s just that Lando didn’t know, oh no it was a surprise.
What he thought was happening was that everyone else from his immediate family would be there, except Y/n.
Everyone was in on the surprise. All excited to see the pair reunited. Surprises were always one of the things the Norris family loved to do.
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Y/n - Good luck today! I’ll be juggling revision and watching the race, I hope to hear our national anthem pleaseee Lando - Thank you angel, don’t wear yourself out Y/n - I should tell you the same thing
Lando thought she’d be tucked away in her dorm room whilst they were texting back and forth. A vast contrast to her current location; in the passenger seat of Oliver's car. The sun was shining through the windshield and down over her bare knees.
Y/n was wearing a white summer dress, some comfortable trainers and her signed mclaren 4 cap. Looking ready to spend the day in the British summer sun supporting one of her older brothers.
She was smirking. He really had no clue about this. “Okay so he thinks I’m still at school, oh my god I can’t wait!”
With her gcses, Y/n hadn’t been to a race in a long time and she missed it; watching from her dorm was not the same. In her dorm, she didn’t get that real excitement that would course through her like it would in the McLaren garage.
Looking over to Oliver, he was also smirking. Just remembering how he had to deal with Landos sulking and the clear signs that Y/n was by far his favorite. “Yeah he’s gonna be so happy when he sees you!”
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Once they arrived, Y/n was quietly escorted through the back way to the McLaren garage. They couldn’t have the press ruining the surprise. Luckily for Y/n, her spot in the garage couldn’t be seen from anywhere Lando would be.
She stood between her parents whilst her other three siblings stood on either side Cisca and Adam. “I’m so excited!” When she was handed her headset, the girl got even more excited because she could hear her brother's voice through the radio.
He had yet to win his first grand prix and she hoped he would get to that top step of the podium, especially at his home race. And hopefully without him knowing she is here, he will focus on that exact outcome.
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It was a hard race, lots of action and stress. Something Y/n liked, she hated a boring race - this sport was about racing, not riding cars in the same positions in several circles. But the most important thing to note from this race was the number four McLaren parked in front of the number one place in Parc Ferme.
The papaya garage was very much in celebrations, including the Norris family. Turning to face her mother with tears in her eyes, she noticed how Cisca also had tears in her eyes. “He did! He did!”
Adam, who is also over the moon with the win, takes her hand and starts to lead her over to the Parc Ferme to surprise the driver. Reaching the Parc Ferme they stand waiting amongst the McLaren staff and up against the barriers.
Lando pulls himself out of the car and makes his way to celebrate with his team. It’s only when he moves to give Adam a hug that he notices his little sister and he gasps.
“Y/n?” He can’t believe his eyes, he thought she was back in her boarding school revising.
Immediately the driver breaks from his father's embrace and races to collect Y/n in his arms. The two siblings were laughing and crying together. Finally reunited after a long time, in their opinions.
After a few seconds, Lando moves to collect her face in his hand gently - trying to see if his eyes are deceiving him, they weren’t. “I thought you had an exam!” He shouts over the cheers around the two of them.
Y/n just smirks cheekily and shakes her head. “Nope! Surprise!” Soon her smirk turns into a groan when Landos hand moves to mess up her hair, laughing breaking out between them once again.
Everyone saw. The cameras around Parc Ferme all broadcasting the reuniting of two siblings who just missed each other. “You’re such a little shit!”
Shrugging her shoulders, Y/n smiled. “Everyone was in on it! Our family loves a surprise!” So when Lando turned to look at his father, Adam just nodded - Happy to reunite two of his children.
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#formula one#formula one x reader#f1#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris x sister!reader#lando norris x sister#mclaren formula 1#f1 fanfic#formula one fanfic#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x y/n
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Hi, it’s me again
Sooo i liked the part 2…to max x Horners daughter ..
So here’s an idea to spark up your imagination
So you didn’t talk w your father after he caught you, but you were still invited for Christmas.
There it’s kinda awkward, but you have a lot of fun, Max gets heart to heart with your father promising him that you’ll be always loved,( n asking him if he can marry you) and when everyone was kinda done giving gifts, max n u slipped out to cuddle on the couch. Sleeping there peacefully as Max is clinging onto you. As you’re both passed out on the big couch, both parents stand still looking at y’all, mama admires, papa stares in realisation that you actually love each other.
And then he tears up.
Fuck , this is too sweet for me, maybe cause I’m half in of my all nighter studying and still haven’t done anything, I had like a red bull n 2shots of coffee, I’m shaking.
Sending 💗
Thank you so much, love! 🥹 Also its a little bit different but i hope you like it ❤️
Click here to read part 3 sweethearts!
All his 💛 (Part 4)
Summary: things had to change and be better since it’s the most wonderful time of the year
"I don't think he will understand" you said quitely as you looked at the reflection of your dress in the bathroom mirror in front of you. Max pulled your dress zip up in the back and looked at your reflection. "Of course he will, baby" he said as he placed a soft kiss on the side of your neck. You just let out a deep sigh and shook your head. “He won’t…” you said as you turned around to face him. You looked up at him trying to collect all your words. Max then caressed your cheek and brushed your jaw with his thumb. “It has been a month since he hasn’t talked with me. Not even a single text from him. Seeing him tonight is gonna kill me. I can’t take this any-” you got cut off by max as his lips met yours.
His touch always comforted you. No matter how hard things were, he would always make things better for you. Even in an apocalypse if you could just hold his hand, it would soothe your heart. He’s everything you ever wanted. Ever needed.
“Shh baby, please don’t stress about it. I’m gonna fix it. Everything will be fine. I love you” he said after pulling away from the kiss. You just nodded your head saying nothing. But somehow his words gave you hope. Max then pulled you in for a hug as he brushed your hair softly. “I love you too, max” you said as you let out a deep breath.
The whole time you’re in the car, you stayed silent. You just looked at the window and your mind wandered in your thoughts. Sometimes it makes you wonder what made max love you so much. What did he see in you? Maybe you’ll never know.
But, what you also don’t know is that he wants to marry you. Start a family with you. Have kids. Get a pet dog and a cat. Be a good husband for you. Be a great dad. You didn’t know all that.
“My love, it’s gonna be alright” max said as he rested his hand on your thigh and you looked at him, smiling softly. “Yeah… hope so” you said hoping for the best to happen.
“Fuck, it’s killing me” you said as you stood in front of the main door. Max wrapped his arms around your waist and squeezed it lightly and kissed your head. “Just relax, baby” he said as he rang the bell. Your mother, Geri opened the door and smiled big at you two. “Oh finally you two are here! Merry Christmas!” she said sounding relieved as she leaned in to hug you. “Merry Christmas mum. I missed you so much!” you said as you hugged her tightly, almost breaking into tears. “I missed you more darling” she said as she kissed your cheek.
“Max, don’t just stand there. Come here!” she said as he called him for a hug. “Merry Christmas, geri” he said, smiling at her. “Merry Christmas, max. How are you?” your mother, geri asked. “Great, doing good” he said and you looked at her. “Mum?” you called out. Geri then turned around and looked at you. “What is it darling?” she asked. “How’s dad doing? Is he alright?” you asked her as tears started forming in your eyes. You sniffled a little as you looked at her. “Oh honey, he’s okay. He just needed a little time, I guess” she said as she hugged you again.
The whole evening went well. House filled with your uncles, aunts, cousins and so many closed ones. It felt so nice to be around them.
Most of your relatives left and your mum told you to help her in the kitchen. But, you couldn’t focus on your work since your eyes were glued to max’s way. Well, max and your dad’s way. They were talking about something but all you could hear was whispers that are not understandable. “So you really like that boy, huh?” your mum, geri asked as you flinched and looked at her. “What?” you asked confusingly. Your mum smiled softly and looked at max. “That boy. Max. You really like him?” she asked, chuckling a little. You couldn’t find your words as you stayed silent for a while. “I mean, he’s always been there for me. He’s so kind and funny” you said as geri chuckled again. “And he’s someone I always wanted” you finished and looked at your mum. “I really like him, mum” you said softly. Your mum, geri then smiled and started to tear up a little as she pulled you in for a hug.
“Y/n, really loves you two” max said as he looked at you and your mum from the couch. Your father, Christian looked at max confusingly then looked at you and your mum’s direction and his gaze became soft. “Yeah… she does” he said as he sounded upset. “Christian, I know you love your daughter a lot. But, the way you’re reacting is not acceptable. We’re not teenagers. We know what’s right and what’s wrong. I love her so much. She’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met. I’m gonna keep her happy forever. Please just talk to her. She misses you a lot” he said as Christian’s eyes softened.
Your father, Christian didn’t realize that this would hurt you so much. It broke his heart. He can’t do this to his little girl.
“And, I really want to marry her” max said as your father looked at him with shock in his face. “Max, what?” he asked, still not being able to process to what he just said. Max nodded and looked down on the ground as he continued, “Yeah, I do. She’s the only one for me. I haven’t asked her yet because i wanted to ask you first. So Christian, can I please marry your daughter? I’ll always love her. I’m gonna love her till my last breath” max said looking up at him as he started to become emotional.
The expression plastered on your father’s face was something max can never forget. The way he was so happy that he really loves his daughter but also the fact that his little girl is going to leave him and geri made him upset.
Nervousness rushed through your body when you saw max and your father talk this intensely. You don’t know why but this situation was killing you. What if it’s not gonna turn out right? What if your father never understands?
What if… what if… what if…
“What did he say?” you asked max as you sat beside him when your father left. Max then chuckled and shook his head. “No, nothing” he said as you got frustrated. “What? No, max tell me!” you insisted but max just didn’t tell you anything. “Is he okay with it tho?” you asked again, just to make sure your father isn’t mad at you anymore. “Yes baby, he is” he assured you and you finally felt relieved.
But, yet he wasn’t talking with you. At all. This was making you overthink more. You couldn’t stop stressing about it the whole time.
“Oh, I’m so tired” max said as he lied down on the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chest. You then brushed his hair with your fingers and tugged on it gently to relax him and he groaned in pleasure. “Get some sleep. It was a long day” you said as you kissed his forehead. Max then pulled you closer by your waist and hugged you from behind, snuggling his nose in your shoulder as he kissed it softly. “I love you, y/n” he said as he cuddled you and you smiled at him. “I love you too” you said as he caressed his face.
You don’t remember when you fell asleep but right now you and max both are asleep. Your mum, geri did all her works and got herself a glass of wine and another for Christian. “Thank you” your dad said as he smiled at your mum. “Come here!” your mum excitingly said as Christian got curious and followed her.
Christian’s eyes were softened when he saw you two so comfortable and so in love. That is when he realized that he was wrong this whole time. His girl never made the wrong decision. He couldn’t help but tear up when he realized all that. Your mum admired you two and hugged your dad, comforting him.
The daylight bothered you as you turned around and snuggled your face in max’s chest. After snuggling with him for a little while, you were finally awoken and got up and made coffee for yourself. You took a deep breath and looked down at the mug you’re holding as you started to think about last night.
If he isn’t mad at me anymore then why didn’t he talk to me? Should I go first? Was dad lying to him?
Your mind wandered around as you went to your pocket to get your phone but instead felt something else. It was a paper. You furrowed your brows and got it out. It was a letter. Who put it here?
I don’t know why this is very difficult for me. I feel like I can never say all these in person. Because it will sound very stupid. I still think you’re my little girl. But, I guess I just couldn’t accept the reality. I couldn’t accept the fact that you’re not a kid anymore. You’re growing. You’re changing. If you want me to be honest. I don’t want that. I still miss coloring and drawing with you in the yard. Watching late night movies. Going to the beach with your little elephant you always said was your best friend. I miss all that. But it’s gonna make me look very selfish if I want things to stay like that. I just didn’t want my girl to drift away from me. I hated this change. But, I guess you found someone who can really love you more than I could ever. I know Max for a long while now. I know he’s a good guy. Maybe, I just couldn’t accept it. Although I hate changes but keep on changing honey and learn the best from everything. When you’re reading this, I won’t be home because I have got an emergency meeting to attend and I told your mum not to tell you about it. You can never ever disappoint me. You’re always my precious daughter who makes me proud all the time. I love you.
-Dad
A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️
Tagging: @golden-flora @crlsummer @lichterfee @charmisticdisappointment @chrisdr3 @i-wish-this-was-me @sav-f1-girl @woweewoowa @f1driverszona
#f1#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#formula one#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#angst with a happy ending#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv1#red bull f1#red bull racing#rbr f1#f1 2023#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula 1#f1 smut#smut#formula racing#red bull formula 1
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Alex Scott's daughter (1) II Leah Williamson x Reader
"Our song is the slamming screen door Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window When we're on the phone, and you talk real slow 'Cause it's late, and your mama don't know." ~ Taylor Swift, Our Song
part 2 I arsenal women masterlist I word count: 1747
Being the daughter of Alex Scott was significantly different to having any other mum. Not only had football a very important part in both of your lives, but you also were much closer than other families were. Alex had gotten pregnant with you when she was only seventeen, struggling to balance being a young mum and finding her way into a football career. You two basically grew up side by side, with the same people and on football fields all across the country. Often, you felt more like sisters than mum and daughter.
Now you were twenty-one sitting on the sofa and watching your mum slip on some heels while simultaneously putting in her earrings. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me to this party?“, she asked for the hundredth time now.
You rolled your eyes with an amused smile; “Yes, I’ll be fine at home with my book and a hot chocolate, Mum.“ “Okay, fine. I won’t ask anymore. But you’re going to miss out.“, she warned you, holding up a finger in your direction. Satisfied, you nodded once; “Thank you and no, I don’t think I will.“
Your mum shrugged into her coat and walked over to give you a kiss on the crown of your head: “See you later. I won’t come home too late.“ You closed your book carefully, keeping one finger between the pages as a bookmark and raised an eyebrow at your mum; “We’ll see about that. If a certain redhead is there, I’m sure it will take longer.“ You knew your mum loved parties. Especially when her new crush was likely to show up.
Alex just waved your comment off; “Oh shut up. She won’t be there.“ “If you say so…“, you stated before returning to your book. “Hey, I’m not just saying it, I know it.“, your mum continued. “Mum, you need to hurry up or you’ll be late.“, you reminded her, pointing at the clock in your living room.
Hesitant the former player started to laugh:” Yeah, fine. Why do you want to get me out of the house so quickly?” “I don’t.”, you replied flushing. Despite her feeling that something was off in the way you tried to make her leave, she said: “I’ll see you later.” “Bye, I love you.”, you shouted as Alex was already at the door. With a huge smile she turned her head towards you before stepping out of her home:” Love you, too.”
A couple of minutes after your mum left the door ringed. A bright grin was on your lips as you opened the door for your girlfriend: ”Lee, come inside.” “Hi.”, Leah smiled. A loud sigh escaped your mouth:“ Hey, sorry, I thought she’d never leave.” “Couldn’t say goodbye, huh?”, the blonde threw her eyebrows up in amusement. “Nope.” The defender admitted:“ That’s kind of cute.” “So, any plans four this evening?”, you winked at her.
In a casual tone the older woman answered:” No, I thought I’d just come over and we’ll see what we’ll do.” “Sounds good to me.” An innocent smile was showing up on Leah’s face while she showed you what the Arsenal player was hiding in her bag:” I even brought my book if you prefer to read together.” “Like in a reading date? I love that. Do you want a hot chocolate, or I think we do have a bottle of red somewhere if you prefer that.”, you informed her about the options. “Oh, I don’t mind. I’m just here to spend time with you.” Time together, was something you rarely had, especially with the busy calendar your girlfriend had even with her ACL injury.
So you decided on the following evening plan:” Okay, let’s spend our time with reading so your physio can’t complain about the fact that you don’t rest enough.”
“I’ve rested enough.”, Leah protested before she was lifting you up carrying you in the direction to your bedroom. Giggling you pleaded: “Lee, let me down.” Although you knew all too well about the England’s captain stubbornness. Determined the blonde shook her head: “No.” “Sofa or bed?”, you questioned her. “To read on?” “Yes.”, you nodded.
“Bed.“, Leah decided quickly. You nodded in agreement of her decision; “Good choice.“ “I know.“, the defender grinned back while following you into your bedroom. With a sigh, she let herself fall onto your bed. You immediately followed suit. With your head propped up on one arm, you opened your book; “Want me to read out loud to you?“ “Sure, why not?“, Leah agreed and turned around to put her own book on the nightstand. As you started reading, she drew her attention back to you.
However, this did not last long. You could feel her fingertips on the outside of your thigh tracing small patterns and then slowly wandering higher and under your shirt. In feigned annoyance, you slapped her hand away; “Hey!“ “What?“ Her blue eyes met yours with pure innocence. “You’re not listening.“, you scolded her. Leah shook her head in denial; “No.“ You shot her an amused look which Leah took as an invite to kiss you and finally, you gave in.
The book dropped from the side of the bed as you passionately kissed her back, running your fingers through her long blonde hair. “Now I know why you didn’t finished The Cost of Living yet even though it’s only 200 pages.“, you laughed between two kisses. Your girlfriend rolled eyes as answer and pressed her lips on yours again. You two were so absorbed in each other that neither of you heard the front door open and close. “Honey, I’m home.“, Alex’ voice echoed through the hallway.
In surprise, you two immediately drove apart but at the same moment, the door to your bedroom opened. Alex stood in the door frame, watching the scene before yelling out; “What the hell?“ “Oh shit. Alex, I can explain.“, Leah replied. She got up from the bed and took a few steps towards her friend. Your mum refused to hear any of it, looking from you to Leah with in an expression of betrayal; “No. That’s my daughter you kissed there, Leah!“ “Alex…“ Your mum turned back to you; “And you? Leah is one of my best friends!“ “Mum…“, you whispered, looking down at your hands because you could not stand to look at the hurt in her face.
“Can I talk to you for a moment, Alex?”, the blonde pleaded. Sternly Alex shovelled one of her closest friends out of the room:” For how long this has been going on, Leah?!” “Not long. Really. We just didn’t find the right time to tell you yet.”, Leah confessed. Out of breath Alex lips escaped an: “Oh wow.” “Don’t be mad at her. I started it.”, the younger woman told her, the softness in her words when she mentioned her daughter startled the older one. Devastated the former Arsenal player shouted: “You? When? How? Why?” “Because your daughter is cute.”, Leah said trying not to hurt her best friend any further while staying honest about her feelings.
Furious Alex looked at her:” I know she’s very cute!” “Alex.” Angrily the ex-defender waved with her hands:” What?!” “Calm down.”, the blonde asked her to. “So you started it?” “I did.”, the England skipper nodded earnest. “Are you serious with her? If not I swear-“, Alex began. Without any hesitation Leah stated firmly:“ Alex, you know me. I don’t date unless I mean it.” Groaning the BBC reporter hid her face in her hands:” I know and I even told you recently you need to let someone in your heart again, that you’re ready to love again.” “And I am.”, the Arsenal player confirmed. “With her?” “Yes.”, the blonde affirmed.
Carefully you reached out to the brunette: “Mum?” “I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just being dramatic it’s what I do.”, Alex apologized. A mild but also tired smile appeared on Leah’s face:“Only when it comes to her.” “True.”, her friend admitted while putting the arms around her daughter into a tight hug. Quietly you said:” But mum I’m not a kid anymore.” “I know that.”, your mum mumbled into your ear. “But?” “It’s Leah. And you. I’ve to get used to that first.”, the brunette revealed. You let out a sigh of reveal:” That’s okay, we respect that.” “You should leave now Leah.”, Alex told the younger woman. The blonde went to you and pressed a kiss on top of your head:” Oh okay, good night you two. See you both soon.”
You share on last look with Leah; “Night, Lee.“ “Good Night.“, Alex answered curtly and closed the door behind the blonde defender. Your mum turned back to you but didn’t say anything. “How was the event, Mum?“, you finally decided to break the silence. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.“, she shook her head earnestly. You bit your lip, trying to avoid the elephant in the room; “What do you want to talk about?“ “You.“, Alex replied simply. With a sigh you agreed; “Alright.“ Slowly, you sat back down on your bed.
Your mum was still looking at you with her arms crossed in front of her chest but her facial expression has relaxed a bit; “So? When did you want to tell me?“ “Soon, really.“ Alex raised an eyebrow and repeated sceptically; “Soon?“ “Yes?“ Unconvinced, she shook her head; “I don’t believe you that.“ “I’m really happy with her.“, you stated, tired of discussing with your mum.
Finally, she seemed to soften up and sat down next to you; “You really are, huh?“ “Yeah.“ “I can tell.“ You carefully tried to find her eyes; “You’ll get used to it, right?“ “I think I will.“, she answered, a smile tugging on her lips. You nodded gratefully in her direction: “Thank you.“
“Hey?“, she asked and nudged you with her shoulder. “Huh?“, you looked up in surprise. Your mum winked at you; “I don’t want to know anything about what you two are doing together, okay?“ Perplexed, you could not stop yourself from laughing; “Okay.“
After a moment of silence, Alex cleared her throat; “I’m sorry I send her away for tonight.“ “Don’t worry about it.“ Gently, she slapped you on your thigh as she got up from your bed; “Let’s order some food and you tell me about you two? How does that sound?“ A big smile on your face, you followed her; “That sounds great, Mum.“
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#woso x reader#woso#woso imagine#woso fanfics#engwnt#lionesses#arsenal wfc#woso one shot
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Letters and Lust
Edmund Pevensie x Reader
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Requested by @potatosdragon (hope it’s to your liking!)
‘Hi again,
I really liked the writing you made with my idea, and I just thought of another one and had to send it to you.
So it's Edmund Pevensie again
And the reader has been sent to a boarding school so the writing would be letters sent between the reader and ed. Maybe he sends her a scandalous one and the teachers find it.
It might be a bit vague so I would totally understand if you don't want to write it but I just needed to see if you would.
Thank you so much’
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Y/N- Your Name
L/N- Last Name
Y/H- Your Hometown/Home-Country
Y/n/N- Your Nickname
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There is no mention of Narnia, so the fic can either be taken as taking place in a non-Narnia world, or just that the sex and the letters are more important than ruminating on the left-behind fantasy world 🤷♀️
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Warning : smut, explicit language, charming-and-sweet-boyfriend!Edmund
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Mareafe Academy
6th September, 1944
Dearest Edmund,
I have literally just sat down on the bed in my dormitory, and the FIRST thing I did was pull out a piece of paper and a pen so I could write to you. And, alright, perhaps I also arranged my novels in the little bedside table I have.
I’m early, and my dorm-mates haven’t arrived yet, so I can write in peace and solitude, too- shucks, I won’t be having much of that anymore, will I? It hasn’t even been twenty minutes in the boarding school yet, but I already really miss day school. However DO you manage at boarding school??? And you’ve been studying at one since you were eleven!
I miss you, Ed. I miss your freckles. I miss you holding my hand. I miss zoning out of the conversation when you talk about chess. I miss you not even realising that I’ve zoned out.
I wish my parents weren’t going away to Y/H for the rest of the year- yes, I will miss them, too- and I wish that St. Finbar’s had a vacancy so I could have attended then, because I would have been close to you throughout the year then. I really thought that’s how it would happen- that once school started again, you’d be going to Hendon, and I’d be going to St. Finbar’s, and we’d be close-by, like always. I mean, the last couple of years, we were together all the time, because the war had closed the schools down.
I love you. Chess-obsessed idiot you are, but I love you so much. Alright, you’re not an idiot, you’re the smartest person I know, but still. Your cheeks get so red when I call you an idiot.
I have to go, I can hear footsteps coming to this room. You know what that means- people. Ugh. I do not like people.
I’ll post this when I get time, and you BEST write me back as soon as possible! Bye-bye, darling.
Love, Y/N
Y/N stared at the letter after she capped her pen, and continued staring at it even as the noise of chattering and laughter filled the room.
She finally stopped staring once one of the girls approached the bed she was sitting on, with a welcoming smile- probably one of the old students- and she put down the letter. As she sat up and readied herself to stand up, and- regrettably- socialise, her eyes fell on the letter one last time.
‘Dearest Edmund’ were the two words she managed to read, and she smiled to herself.
--
The day after that, Y/N hurried to the telephone room during the break, after the classes of the day and before the prep-time of the evening. Her hurrying was because the monitor of her form had come by her solitary armchair, where she’d been reading the newest Nancy Drew, and informed her that her mother was calling.
“Hello, M-?”
“Don’t finish the word, darling, I’m not your Mum.” Came the lovely voice of her even lovelier boyfriend, Edmund Pevensie. “Did I get the routine right? It’s your break now, yeah?”
“Yes- it is-” Y/N had sent him her class-routine along with the letter, “but- I thought- the monitor said that-”
“Oh, I just put Susan on the telephone for that.” He chuckled. “She sounds very much like a priggish old lady.”
Y/N snorted, after which he continued, sounding a bit nervous, “Wasn’t sure how receptive a teacher or monitor would be to a young man calling and asking for the prettiest person in school.”
Her cheeks were already scarlet, “Ed, you haven’t even seen the others in the school.”
“And I don’t need to.”
“You charmer, you.” Y/N spoke, toying the telephone wire around her fingers. Then her voice softened, dropping to a whisper, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His voice softened, as well, and she could imagine the tenderness in his chocolate brown perfectly. “I miss you, Y/n/N.”
“Me too- and the fact that I probably won’t see you until Easter break-” her parents would be returning to Finchley then, “which is SEVEN MONTHS FROM NOW, is just torture.”
“I couldn’t agree more. The moment I’ve enough money, I’m coming up there and we’re spending the weekend at some cosy inn.”
Her blush deepened, and- oh, how she wanted to kiss him. And more. Oh, she truly wanted that inn-weekend immediately.
Still, she spoke teasingly, “I think the Headmistress might have some problems with you whisking away one of her students for the entire weekend.”
“What can educational administrators or institutions do when it comes to true love?” Edmund spoke dramatically to his girlfriend, and Y/N- giggling again- could visualise him having his hand on his heart. “Oh, I did love the birthday gift by the way, my last suspenders were hand-me-downs. But why-”
“Because-” Y/N’s voice lowered again, but it wasn’t so much as it was sultry, “I like to hold them and tug at them when I’m on top of you, and honestly, with the state the last ones were in, I was afraid they’d tear the moment I touched them.”
She glanced at the door of the tiny telephone room, just to make sure there was privacy- before turning back to the telephone.
“And- your suspenders aren’t the only thing I want to tear off you, you know.”
She heard a gulp on the other end, and then Edmund’s hoarse voice speak, “What I would give to be back to the ninth of August- and the twelfth- and the sixteenth- and the twenty-third- and the twenty-fifth- and the twenty-sixth- and the thirty-first- and the first two days of September.”
Visions of Edmund, his pale, freckled body under her, on top of her, beside her, kissing her, touching her, licking her, fucking her- made their way immediately into Y/N’s mind, and she clenched the telephone receiver tight.
They weren’t visions, they were memories, and she pushed her legs pressed together.
“I can’t believe you remember all the days.”
“I can’t believe we had less than a month of it.” He whispered back, huskily, and Y/N licked her lips. “Oh, Y/n/N-”
“If you keep calling me that, I will run back to Finchley and have-” oh, she couldn’t say the word, she didn’t know if the walls were soundproof!, “and read with you in front of your entire family.”
“Read?” Oh, she just knew that Edmund was smirking. “Read what?”
“Everything you can imagine.” Oh, she could be husky and seductive, too! “Everything you want.”
“Everything we want.” He corrected immediately, and Y/N could no longer ignore how wet she was. “I- oh, goodness gracious, I need to have a cold shower now.”
“I need to have you, but I’ll have to settle for a shower, too.” She just hoped none of her dorm-mates asked why she was having a shower at such an odd time. “I should go, prep-time is about to start. Call me earlier next time, my love.”
“Okay, will do.” Edmund promised. He’d call her all the time- it was the only way for her to be in his life for the next seven months. Well, that, and letters. Yes, letters... He could make good use of those, too. He really would miss his girlfriend terribly. “I love you, Y/n/N.”
Y/N sighed, and rested her head against the wall- wishing it was her boyfriend’s shoulder instead. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she missed her family- missed home- she had to miss the love of her life, too.
“And I love you, Edmund.”
--
Edmund was not at school. He was grateful for that- though, not as much as Peter or Susan were, and more than Lucy was- for he quite enjoyed the time at home, with his family. He didn’t mind school, generally, for he liked to read, and learn, and he did well in tests- but who could pick school over home?
Certainly not he.
Regardless of his gratitude for not being at school, he did regret that he was at home- because of Y/N. It was entirely unjust that she was stuck there, in some boarding school she had never been to, with her family travelling away for some urgent emergency, away from her home, whilst he was at home and with his family.
He wished he could go to her- he badly wanted to see her, be with her. Just for half a day, even. He was intending to, and had even started planning to go there for Christmas, but his parents had informed them that their grandparents were coming to stay Christmas week- which effectively poured water on his half-formed plans.
All they had now was letters. Not even telephone calls- at least for the present, for the old telephones had been removed, and new ones were being put in, and Y/N had said that she didn’t know how long it would take in her last letter. There was only one working telephone in the entire school, the Headmistress’s, and, as his dear girlfriend had said, “I don’t think she’ll be very keen to let me use it so I can hear sweet nothings from my boyfriend.”
Edmund was making the most of the letters.
Several of the ones he’d written were humorous- even if he did say so himself, droll, and loving, chronicling the things that had been happening at home and with him, as well as asking Y/N what was happening with her and showing sympathy for her ‘incarceration’ (as she put it in one of her letters) in school.
-
My cousin, Eustace, came over with his parents for Dad’s birthday. You’ve met him, the shrill kid with the eyebrows, and the terrible name- Eustace Clarence Scrubb? Anyway, they were to stay the entire weekend, which everyone- including them- were very annoyed about, but we all had decided to take it as much in stride as possible. But Eustace is just so annoying, and he was driving us four MAD the entire day- to show how much, even LUCY asked for him to shut up. Well, she said ‘please, be quiet, I have a headache’, but that’s ‘shut the bloody hell up!’ for her.
At any rate, he was driving us crazy. I told you he has a fixation with entomology- insects- and he brought his whole kit and collection of insects with him. Can’t part with it, apparently, since he’s observing some live specimens to note down some specifics about them that he feels the entomology books got wrong.
We (Peter and I, since Eustace is sharing our room) let those live specimens free. Freedom is extremely important, I know you agree, my darling.
In the morning, Susan- with such a smile on her face she resembled the Cheshire Cat- said that Eustace had demanded to go home, and so our aunt, uncle, and cousin were to leave for Cambridge after lunch by train.
And it’s only Saturday! HA.
-
It is unfair, Y/n/N, far too unfair that you’re in school, while most of the country isn’t! It should be a law that each educational institution should open and close at the exact same times, and that there should be the same number of hols- otherwise, it’s just bloody unjust. If I wasn’t already sure that I want to be a lawyer, this would have made it CERTAIN for me.
You deserve better, my love. Especially since you hate school so much. If I could swap places with you, I would. I’d look very pretty in a skirt and your school’s uniform, don’t you think?
-
Did you read the new Hardy Boys? The Melted Coins? Frankly, I’ve been enjoying Nancy Drew more than the last couple of Hardy Boys- is just me? I prefer mysteries related not to treasure nowadays, I feel. Buried treasure just feels far too overused.
-
But several were- they were not humorous and sympathetic and bibliophilic as much as they were libidinous.
Edmund wrote those letters late at night, when his brother was fast asleep and snoring. He was a night owl, thankfully- though, not as much as Y/N, whose sleeping schedule was more vampiric than human. He’d write the letters, burning the midnight oil, blush quite brilliantly at the contents of what he’d written as well as the images of his beautiful girl from that his mind came up with, and then he would go and post the letters the next morning.
-
Darling, you know I think a lot, but you know what I think the most about?
You. Always you. Your smile, your eyes, your eyebrows, the nose I love to kiss, the curve of your lips, and your hips. How I hold them when you take me inside you. The way your eyes flutter when I flick your nipples, how your mouth opens whenever I lick at your sex.
How incandescent you look during and after sex, on top of me or under, your body pressed hard against me. How your lips call my name, how my name sounds in your voice. We had so few moments where we could do all that- but we really made the most of it, and I’m endlessly grateful. And we’ll see each other very soon, and I SWEAR all our fantasies will be indulged.
You make me tremble, and you leave me breathless, especially when I look at your face flushed with ecstasy and when I hold you in my arms while making love. And I love you so much in those moments, as I love you in every moment I live.
-
I miss your tits. Your lovely, large, lovely tits. I miss how you giggled when I kissed them. I miss all of you.
-
Do you know I have to keep taking showers more than once every day? Every time I think of you, I just get so hard and I need to get myself off, after which I need to clean up- consequently showers.
Your last letter, about the- about the swimsuit and the swimming exhibitionism thing- I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard from getting myself off. If it’s your hands or mouth, yes, but not from my own hands.
I want that, too. You know that. I want all of that, so BADLY. Sometimes I’ll wander down some alleyways, the ones that are shortcuts, and I’ll think of pushing you against a wall and fucking you then and there. I think of you wearing those sexy knee-socks as you spread yourself on the bed. I’ll think of how bright your eyes get when I enter you, and-
Fuck, I’m hard again. Bloody hell, Y/n/N, I’ve already showered twice today! I’m going to die of a cold, at this rate.
-
Chocolate is my favourite taste. I adore chocolate, and I’d probably eat the floor if it was made of it. I mean, no offence to those five kids, but I should have gotten a Golden Ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
But I adore tasting you, too. I love you writhing under me, as I kiss along your thighs, and I love you pulling my hair when I finally have my tongue inside you. I adore everything about you, every single thing- but, gosh, your taste. You taste like oranges, and I drink your essence like I’ve been thirsty for centuries. I’m a rational person, easily the wisest in my family- not that that’s a difficult achievement- but you, Y/n/N, you drive me wild.
-
I want you to fuck me. I want you kneeling in front of me, your mouth around me, sucking me harder and faster. I want you to make me moan your name over and over and over until you unravel me completely. I want to give you hickeys everywhere. I want to be yours. I want to be inside you again. I want you.
-
Y/N’s replies would come the very next day, and he would lock himself in the bathroom whenever he read them.
Her replies were even more explicit and- as she had herself said in a telephone call- more unhinged than his.
-
Every night before I sleep, I masturbate. I close my eyes, fix my blanket, and then I touch myself. I touch myself, and I think of how you hold me. I touch myself, and I think how you kiss me. I touch myself, and I think of how you lick my breasts, how you suck at my clit. I touch myself, and my body shakes, and I think of how you fuck me. I come, somehow, my hips lifting, and I think of you and only you, my dearest.
Then I go to the bathroom to pee and wash my hands, and then, just as I’m about to fall asleep, I think of you again.
I turn, shoving my face into my pillow, and I fuck myself again, all the while wishing it was your fingers and your mouth and your cock inside me instead.
-
I drew you naked in class today. I spent a lot of time on your fingers. And your freckles. I really, truly, madly love your freckles. I love that I’ve kissed all of them, all over your body. Even the ones on your cock. I love them. I love you.
-
Was down swimming today- it’s cold weather usually, but somehow it was pretty warm today. I was really glad, and the MOMENT we finished breakfast, I ran to get my swimsuit and went to the pool. I mean, I didn’t run, I definitely never run, but I did walk very fast.
So I went to the pool, wearing my swimsuit and a bathrobe over it, and as I was taking it off, I wished you were there. I wanted you to watch me. I wanted to take off my robe, and my swimsuit, and I wanted you to see me, your pretty eyes going dark as I get naked. And I wanted you to take off whatever you were wearing, too- hopefully suspenders. I love you wearing suspenders, and I love to drag them off you. Obviously, I’d be watching you as well, because how can I ever NOT look at you?
And then I wanted to make love with you then and there. Outside, in public, uncaring of whether anyone could see. I still want it.
Writing this down, I’m throbbing again. I can smell how wet I am, goodness.
-
I might kill someone if I don’t get you inside my cunt right NOW.
P.S. (adding this in the morning), I didn’t kill anyone. A lot of people at school make me murderous, but I’ve had self-control so far.
I have, however, put a photograph of myself in this letter, one that I’m sure you’ll like. I’m not as adept a photographer as you- you know how much I fidget- but, again, I think you’ll like it. And I hope, love, that you’ll send me one in reply, too- only if you want to.
I love you. And enjoy my tits. Let me know what effect they have on you.
--
“Post’s here early!” One of Y/N’s classmates called out- she had just stood up to leave the Dining Hall, and had seen the postman walk across the doorway at the far end of it. “Oh, hope Mum got me the hair-band I fancied!”
As her friend pulled her down to the seat, teasing her in whispers that she needed a few dozen hair-bands to keep her flyaway hair in control, Y/N stood up.
She never ate much in the mornings, anyway- if it wasn’t compulsory, she would absolutely have skipped breakfast every day, waking up exactly six minutes before classes started. And now that mail was here early, she would go and see if she had letters- she usually had one from Edmund every other day, and one from her family every week, as well as occasional letters from some other friends she had left behind. There were, though, also many days that she did not have letters.
Today was not one of those days.
Recognising Edmund’s signature on the back of the envelope, Y/N snatched it from the tray of letters, and grinned hugely. She grinned so widely, in fact, that a group of first-formers heading her way saw her and ran away in the opposite direction.
She usually opened letters from her darling boyfriend in private, since their letters were private, and- more often than not- intimate. Today, though, she lacked the patience and ripped it open as soon as she reached the- thankfully empty, since most of the school was still at breakfast- entrance hall of Mareafe Academy.
Her fingers felt the texture of the letter’s paper- but along with it, they felt a much smoother, cooler surface. She pulled both out immediately- she was a curious creature, and then Y/N almost dropped the envelope.
She wasn’t just curious. She was forgetful as well, and she’d forgotten what she’d sent along with her last letter. And that she’d added a request, of sorts, for a similar response.
And she had got it.
It was a photograph of Edmund. He’d clearly taken it himself, from the angle- and another, far more clearer thing, was that he was naked. He was utterly, completely naked, from head to thigh- that was as much was there in the picture. Oh, and his thighs- what lay in between them- Y/N licked her lips.
Almost immediately, she bit her bottom lip to keep from accidentally moaning, and then Y/N hurried to the staircase that led up to the dormitories to sit down on the fifth step. Setting down the letter and the envelope on the sixth step- yes, yes, she would read it in a second, she desperately wanted to read what Edmund wrote, but she just needed to admire the gorgeous being that the love of her life was- she looked at the photograph even longer. Her eyes danced around to his pale and lithe form, to the flat of his abs that she’d press her palms against sometimes, to different spots of him she’d sucked, to all the starry freckles she had kissed, to his lovely lips that gave her kisses that brought her both calm and passion, and to all the parts of him that she adored.
She would absolutely be missing her first class, so she could take advantage of an empty dormitory- she would look at the photograph, and then she would mas-
“Child, is this yours?” Came a voice- and then, immediately, a hand bent down to pick up the letter and the envelope carelessly left on the stair.
Y/N turned, in panic and horror and so many other unpleasant, cardiac-arrest-reminiscent symptoms- but the damage was done. The form-mistress for the first form, as well as the House-Mistress for the school House she was in, Ms. Potts, had her hands on her letter.
And her eyes were on the letter- growing wider and wider and wider and wider with every passing second.
“What,” Ms. Potts said, her lips pursed so tightly together they seemed conjoined, and her fair cheeks turning a blotchy red, “is this abhorrent, shocking, and vile thing sent to you?”
Oh, Heavens. Had Edmund written about how much he liked to have her sit stop his face? Or perhaps some details about how she sucked his cock.
Y/N did not say anything, because she felt petrified. Mortified. She had wished for death before, but she didn’t think she’d ever wished it quite so keenly and desperately. She’d take anything! Couldn’t those air raids start again!? Just for the day?!
There used to be a chandelier in the entrance hall- it had been removed as the war had begun. She wished it was still there, so it could fall on her.
Ms. Potts shook in rage for a few more moments, apparently as unable as Y/N was of coherent speak- before spotting something in the student’s hand.
“What is that?” She asked, her gaze fixed on the photograph of Edmund. “Was that with his letter?”
“No.” The lie was immediate, and convincing. Talking, she was not very good at, but lie she could very well. “It’s a photograph of- of the tulip-bushes at our house in Finchley, ma’am. My parents asked a neighbour with green thumbs to look after the bushes, so they’ve bloomed again despite the house being empty-”
“Is that so?” The teacher cut off the narration, looking unimpressed. At least the splotches of red were lessening now, Y/N thought. “Let me see it, then, give it-”
“No!” Oh, she could have her letter, but she would not give away a photograph of Edmund naked! He’d trusted her with it, and she would DIE before letting a stranger see it. No one ever deserved to have their personal anecdotes or their personal photographs or documents be circulated to or by those who were never intended to see them. “Sorry, Ms. Potts, but it’s my photograph.”
“Hm, of course. Privacy is important.” Ms. Potts nodded, seemingly backing down. “But so is decency, Ms. L/N, and the things written in this letter-”
“I haven’t read the letter, ma’am.” Y/N said, because what else could she say? She didn’t know! She still felt like she was having a heart attack, and she was anxious about whether the hospital- oh, anxiety. She felt anxiety, and if Ms. Potts didn’t give her back her belongings, she may devolve into a full-blown panic attack. “I don’t know what it says. I’m not even sure whom it’s from-”
“Says it is from ‘your devoted and dearest Edmund’.” Her lip curled, and Y/N couldn’t be sure if that was a hint of humour or hatred. She could be sure, though, that she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole. Or at least transport her to somewhere far, far away, somewhere that was preferably known as ’Edmund’s arms’. “I thought such adoring signatures died out after the Georgian era.”
“I always thought that such signatures existed only in books.” The girl gave a shrug- not a nonchalant one, though that was the effect she was trying to convey. “Maybe- maybe that’s what this is, Ms. Potts, someone having transcribed a letter from a novel and sent it to me-”
“Admirable attempt at lying, L/N, but the lie only makes things worse. Mareafe Academy does not condone lying, cheating, or-” Ms. Potts looked down at the letter again, and the splotches reappeared, “such disgusting sentiments being written to the young women of tomorrow!”
“Oh, but- but, Ms. Potts-”
Why wasn’t there a dragon here? Either she could ride away on it, or it could eat her. Either way, her problem would be solved
Oh, she so hated to exist in a world of reality.
“And, according to devoted and dearest Edmund,” The teacher’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and it didn’t sound nearly as attractive as Edmund’s sarcasm did, “you were the one who asked to be sent such uncouth correspondence.”
Well, what was she to do now? Throw Edmund under the bus and keep him safe, or tell the truth and secure expulsion?
She couldn’t do either of that. She would protect Edmund and she would make sure her parents did not have to feel the shame of a child expelled from school.
What excuse could she give...
“I’m a writer.” Y/N said suddenly, before glancing down at the letter again- as soon as Ms. Potts lost focus on it, she’d grab it back. “I asked a friend of mine to help me with certain- salacious parts of the novel I’m working.”
Ms. Potts gave her a look, “Are you planning to become the female D. H. Lawrence, Ms. L/N? Need I remind you, most of his books were banned because of their- their inappropriate content.”
“And now he’s one of the most famous writers of the century.” Y/N pointed out. “I- I think that counts as a win.”
Ms. Potts rolled her eyes, “Would you like me to take this letter to the Headmistress? Perhaps she’ll motivate you with suspension to show her the photograph-”
“No!” She burst out again, shifting her weight from one leg to another, that was how nervous she was. She kept teetering-tottering. Edmund’s photograph would ensure expulsion.
Oh, why was this happening!? Wasn��t it bad enough that she’d had to wake up early for breakfast- even earlier than usual, because her dorm-mate had pulled the curtains back to let in the rare sunshine!? Waking up was awful enough!
“No- please, Ms. Potts, I don’t- I’m so- I’m sorry. I- promise that- that I won’t ask for such-” loving, “vile letters anymore. Please, I’m so very sorry, ma’am-”
“Alright, child. Calm yourself.” She sighed. Generally, she would have taken the student and the letter to the Headmistress, for its contents were that questionable- but she had a soft heart when she hadn’t had her morning coffee. And- well, she knew the girl was having a hard time with her parents so far away, and- and, between the inappropriate things, she could read the love that seeped out from every word. Edmund truly loved Y/N, despite the disgusting things he did to her and she did to him. “No supper for you for the rest of the week, L/N. Your suppertime will be devoted to extra prep time, and you’ll have two slices of toast and a glass of water before you head to bed.”
“Okay.”
At least it wasn’t expulsion- and she’d just spend the prep time daydreaming about Edmund. About the food, though- she usually was very hungry at dinner, but she’d have to make do.
“Thank you so much, ma’am- and, again, I- I am so- so sorry.”
“Hmph.” She made a sound to acknowledge the apology, and then held out the letter. “I’ll be reading the rest of your letters from this Edmund from now on.”
She nodded quickly.
“Now go put it somewhere private, I will come check in five-” after she had her coffee, “and for the Lord’s sake, get to class on time!”
She nodded again, grabbing the letter and the envelope, before running straight to her thankfully empty dormitory.
She had intended on locking the door, undressing- at least part-way- and then fingering herself until she came, while looking at Edmund’s photograph and/or reading his letter.
Y/N still wanted to do that, she thought, as she sank onto her bed. She wanted to do it even more, in fact, because now she had his letter, and she was reading all the beautifully dirty things Edmund wanted her to do to him or wanted to do to her- but she would refrain. Her sex was throbbing and her mouth was dry, but Ms. Potts would be up any second, and if she walked in on her masturbating- well, there would be no hope for her at ALL then.
For once, she would have self-control when it came to Edmund.
“Oh, darling.” She said, falling back on the bed and letting out a very long sigh. She wanted to go back to sleep. “Our fucking has fucked things up.”
--
Two months later:
“Yes, fuck, ah-ah, yes-” Y/N moaned, one of her hands gripping the bark of the tree she was pressed up against, while the other fisted itself firmly into Edmund’s hair, pushing his head further between her thighs.
They were in a clearing in the woods behind school- not too far in that they’d get lost, and yet not too near the entrance that they’d be seen by someone from her school. It was parents’ weekend- and, in place of her parents, Edmund had come to visit. Ms. Potts had enquired if she would be alone the weekend, and Y/N had lied that her uncle and aunt would be coming to take her for the two days- and the moment that Ms. Potts had turned around, she’d grabbed her little case and run outside. Thankfully, in all the crowd of cars and people outside the school, no one had noticed that the person she was hugging was a boy her own age, or that the hug was decidedly not platonic.
After they’d escaped the school, Y/N had said something that they couldn’t enjoy themselves in a pool- sand then Edmund had completed her sentence by saying that at least they could have some pretty good fun in the woods.
Edmund had taken up a paper route the last few months, and had done some odd jobs around the neighbourhood- and Y/N had made some money by tutoring some first-years, too. She’d begun the tutoring as a way to lessen Potts’s suspicion- but it had had a monetary advantage, too. Pooling their money together, they’d managed to afford one night at a nearby bed-and-breakfast, and they had both been so excited, Edmund had got on the wrong train- he’d realised just before it had started- and Y/N had buttered her hair, instead of her toast.
Edmund dug his fingers into her leg that was thrown over his shoulders, his tongue licking a path along her sex, and he felt a deep tightening in the pit of his stomach. He was already pleasured and sated- the moment he had arrived at the school gate, and had seen her run towards him, after which she’d thrown her arms around him, he’d been utterly content. He was even more so now. He had missed her so much.
He reached up blindly- but he was so familiar with her body, that he found her bare breast at the first try, cupping it hard as he began to suck at her clit.
“Come on, Y/n/N. Say my name.” Edmund grinned wolfishly, as a muffled sigh left her lips. “Moan if you missed me, darling.”
And she did.
This was exactly- exactly- what she needed. What both of them did. What they’d needed and wanted for so long. How utterly she had missed him.
And, considering that they’d only had sex for about ten days back in August, it was truly astonishing how well he knew her body. He really was a fast learner.
He knew it so well that she just could not keep her mouth shut, though she knew she couldn’t be too loud, “Fuck, Edmund-”
Then his fingers joined, too, inching closer to her clit, making her gasp and shiver and doubling the building ecstasy.
Needless to say, it took hardly a couple of minutes for Y/N to reach her zenith, her body relaxing as she came.
“No, no, no.” She said, a moment after her breathing eased- Edmund was looking around for their long-discarded shirts, his suspenders (which looked even sexier than usual, perhaps because she was seeing him for the first time in months), and her skirt.
Her boyfriend looked at her inquiringly- good Heavens, he was licking his lips, she might orgasm just looking at that.
She pulled her knickers up and debated on putting on her bra- she was trying to wear them more often, despite how much she disliked them, because she’d heard a sixth-former whisper in the pool that wearing bras helped with back pain.
And she had a lot of back pain.
But she decided against it. A few more minutes wouldn’t make her back hurt even more.
“Come a little closer?”
Edmund obeyed, but still looked blank. He was perfectly content to just look at her- after months of just letters, most of which had been censored and sanitised after a point- he just wanted to gaze at her.
“Why, Y/n/N?” He asked, and was answered by Y/N kneeling, pulling his trousers down, and wrapping her mouth around him in one fluid moment. He started violently, quite staggered by the action, and drew a sharp gasp of a breath. “G-give a fellow some warning, darling.”
“As though you didn’t know-” She pulled away from his cock for just a moment to smile at him- going down on her had hardened him, which meant he was already close, “that I wouldn’t let you go without returning the favour. It’s been too long, love.”
“I- forgot.” His lashes fluttered, his breath coming in short bursts as she started to take him in her mouth again, her head bobbing up and down between his legs. “S- ach, Y/n/N-” she sped up the work of her tongue- harder, faster- and he had to bite down on his bottom lip to hold back a moan, “silly me.”
She sucked for a few, slow moments- not enough to make him come, but enough to make him tremble and moan her name- and she could feel herself throb again, because it wasn’t inside her mouth that she needed him.
But she’d contentedly settle for this for the moment- it was Edmund, she liked doing almost everything with him.
Carefully, she pulled her mouth away from him- and asked softly, “Do you like this, my love? Do you like my mouth around you, as I kneel for you? As I put my tongue on your cock?”
Before he could reply, she bent forward again and trailed her lips all over his length, sometimes darting her tongue out to lick a freckle or sensitive spot- and then began to suck once more.
Minutes later, as the birds chirped in the trees, they lay on the warm grass. They held hands as Edmund slid inside Y/N, into the togetherness and oneness they’d had too little of and they had missed for months.
The sun scattered through the canopy of trees, falling onto their bodies, which flushed and naked and tight together. Their lips were pressed together, too.
And when they came together, they whispered both I love you and I missed you.
After that, lying naked on the warm grass and in each other’s arms, they made fun of other people- specifically, teachers- and teased each other- both verbal and sexual, and bantered, all interspersed with a lot of kissing. There was a small picnic basket lying a few feet from them, as well.
It was going to be an amazing weekend.
----
Thank you for reading!
And requests are CLOSED. I have end semester exams in a week, and what have I been doing? Nothing that will help me pass and everything that will make me fail!
#narnia#the chronicles of narnia#edmund pevensie#skandar keynes#edmund pevensie x reader#narnia fanfiction#edmund pevensie fanfiction#edmund pevensie imagine#king edmund the just#skandar keynes fanfiction#smut#x reader#smut x reader#edmund pevensie smut#1940s#my fics#myfics
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okay for the prompt ask game: landoscar, the most cliche thing: only one bed, and getting together - go!
only one bedddd MY LOVE. I ADORE making the boys CUDDLE.
tell me what you wish I'd write
I will set the scene: Lando and Oscar are in their second year as teammates, now, and they’re proper friends, right? Much closer than they were the year before. Time to…. meet the family?
snippet enclosed at the end under the break just fyi :,)
Meddling Nicole. We know now that she will canon throw her son under the bus and expose him for a little laugh. She also knows that Oscar has been maybe a little obsessed with Lando for years, and getting to know him as a teammate has not dulled Lando’s shine for Oscar at all. He’s actually worse. Tries to be really lowkey about it, not bringing up Lando too often, only mentioning him when he feels it’s relevant, but Nicole can tell by the change in his voice when he talks about Lando, the way he edges Lando into conversations he doesn’t really NEED to be in. Anyway. A few weeks ahead of the Australian GP she’s on a call with Oscar and is like “You should bring Lando round when he’s here, honey. Have him stay a night, we’d love to meet him properly.” And Oscar is like… oh. uh. Yeah. Sure.
In what world is Lando going to say no to Oscar on that when Oscar’s got his soft Lando Smile on and he’s like “just for a night, my mom really wants you to”?
The day after the race perhaps? Because Lando podiums and Carlos wins so they go out and Lando is perhaps a little hungover and cranky when he arrives, but immediately goes soft for Oscar. He’s headachy and tired and reaches for Osc as soon as he’s in the doorway, wrapping his free arm around Oscar’s back and resting in the hug for a long, long second. They’re speaking in soft little private voices to one another and giggling and Oscar is smiling his hopeless, besotted smile, and Lando’s eyes are sparkling even through the hangover exhaustion. And then “Lando, so glad you could make it!” and they spring apart and Lando rubs at his cheek with his palm and Oscar rolls his eyes at his mum and gives Lando a little squeeze around the wrist as apology.
“Let me take your bags, Oscar can show you around a bit and you can get some lunch in you.”
They’d hang out all day, maybe with Oscar’s sisters (who love Lando obviously bc they can all team up on Oscar together), perhaps kicking around outside or whatever.
Dinner has Meet the Family (tm) vibes where Oscar’s parents are quizzing Lando about his own family and racing and how Oscar is at work. And maybe there’s some food Lando doesn’t eat and he feels really bad and is stressed but Oscar is like “you don’t have to eat that. Mum, I told you Lando doesn’t eat seafood.” Very Romantic. Very Domestic.
Afterwards, they all convene in the living room to play a game or something and Lando doesn’t understand the rules and doesn’t have the attention span to learn so he’s like “I’ll just be on a team with Oscar.” Except he’s really just leaning into Oscar’s side, looking at the cards but mostly just Oscar’s hands, and watching Oscar play. Eventually he kind of catches the gist and makes a suggestion about something right at Oscar’s ear, lips brushing skin, and the move… works? And Oscar is like “thanks, mate” all soft and Lando is like “I’d say we make pretty good teammates, yeah? someone should hire us that way” and yawns and smirks at the way it makes everyone giggle.
Eventually Lando starts nodding off against Osc’s shoulder, everyone’s talking and laughter warm around him. After it sticks, Lando’s cheek smushed against Oscar’s bicep, Oscar’s hand curled around Lando’s knee, Nicole goes “you should take that one to bed, honey, he looks exhausted.” And Oscar is like… simply why would you phrase it like that? but “okay, is he staying in the guest room?” and Nicole is like “oh! did I not tell you? we’ve got your grandmother there. huh. could have sworn I told you this. I figured Lando could just bunk with you, hope that’s alright!” and Oscar is like... well. I’m not going to make him sleep on the COUCH 24 hours after a race.
So he wakes Lando up sooooo gently and Lando blinks soft and sleepy and a little frowny because he was cozy there, actually. And everyone else feels like they’re intruding, as is prone to happen around Lando and Oscar.
Oscar apologetic explaining the situation, but Lando just shrugs and stretches and follows him up the stairs, because it won’t be the first time he’s fallen asleep in the same bed as a teammate, probably.
Oscar’s childhood bedroom hasn’t changed much since he left for boarding school, and Lando perks up once they get there so he can poke fun of Oscar about the posters and the knickknacks on his desk. And Oscar’s blushy and laughing and a little defensive, but mostly just fond fond fond having Lando in this part of his life.
They brush their teeth side by side, elbows knocking, and it’s… so domestic. Overwhelming. Oscar is scared of how easily they move around each other, Lando’s hand on the small of his back as he sneaks by to grab his face wash from the bedroom where he’d forgotten it, Oscar handing over a towel to dry Lando’s face before Lando can even ask.
Oscar’s stressed that it’s going to be awkward when it comes time to actually get in bed, but Lando just tucks himself in against the wall and curls up on Oscar’s pillow. Oscar dilly dallies a bit, but Lando huffs and pats the bed and goes “Oscar,” drawing out the last syllable, “turn off the light and come to bed, I’m tired.”
Which. Does THINGS to Oscar. But Lando asked nicely, so he flips the switch and crawls in next to Lando.
They don’t touch at first. And Oscar’s bed is only a full, so it’s like… intentional. And that lasts a few minutes. But Lando whines and pats at Oscar’s side until Oscar says “what“ and Lando’s eyes are big and soft even in the dark and he says “‘m not very comfy” with a small little smile and Oscar is… only a man. So he lifts his arm up and lets Lando crawl happily under and settle against his chest with a contented sigh. And from there it’s easy to pet Lando’s hair and let Lando practically purr into his chest about it. SOFT. CUDDLY.
Lando falls asleep almost immediately because he’s still recovering from the night before. Oscar watches his eyelashes flutter prettily and toys with his curls and strokes the side of his cheek and just. Yearns. Because Lando fits so easily here in Oscar’s life. Everything felt so natural and right. Feels even more right now, with Lando in his bed, in his arms. So Oscar presses a little self-indulgent kiss to Lando’s forehead. Except the skin wrinkles beneath his lips and Lando’s fingers flex where they’re tucked against Oscar’s waist. Lando’s eyes crack open and he looks. so! soft! but Oscar’s heart is racing because he just really, really thought Lando was fast asleep.
SNIPPET‼️
Lando doesn’t look mad, but he doesn’t really look anything discernible at all in the dim light filtering through Oscar's window. Mostly he just looks sleepy. From a distance, Oscar hears the familiar sound of the air-con kicking on.
“‘s nice,” Lando says after too long, eyes fluttering back closed. There's a little smile turning the corners of his lips up and his nose twitches a little where it's rested above the collar of Oscar's loose pajama shirt. He doesn't normally wear one, but he'd figured, given the circumstances, that it would be best to.
Emboldened again, Oscar places another light kiss, just to the left of the first. Lando's smile grows with it, and he turns his face into Oscar's chest, like he's bashful about it. Oscar wonders, if he turned his bedside lamp on, whether Lando's cheeks would be pink with his attention.
"Keep going," Lando says. Mostly breath, eyes still shut.
"Yeah?" Oscar's not sure what they're doing, where they're going with it, but it's been 18 months and he hasn't learned how to say no to Lando yet, so he puts his lips next to Lando's eyebrow, on the bridge of his nose. He pauses after that, and when he breathes in, he swears he can taste his own toothpaste on Lando's exhale.
"Os-car," Lando sing-songs. Oscar doesn't think it's fair, how Lando gets to hide behind his eyelids while they do this. Whatever it is.
"Lando," he gives Lando a scratch between the shoulder blades, "look at me."
It's bolder than he normally is, bolder than he feels, still, but it gets Lando to crack his eyes open. Lando's still smiling, but it's a little tighter again.
Oscar's heart is beating hard. He remembers suddenly, absurdly out of place, that he'd lost his virginity in this bed. He thinks that was easier.
"Are we doing this?"
Lando's fingers twitch at his side. Oscar can't tell whether they're curling into his side or into Lando's own palm.
"I mean," he's at least properly awake again, "yeah. If you want to. I want to."
Oscar's pulse hasn't slowed down. It feels like a final flying lap, one shot to get everything just right.
"I want to," Oscar confirms, "But not just to do it."
"Like how?" Lando says. He props himself up on his arm so he's looking down at Oscar. Oscar's hand falls to the small of his back. Keeping him close.
"Like not just to kiss, or whatever. Like I want to because I like you. And you're important to me. So I don't want to make things weird if it's not like that for you."
Something changes in Lando's gaze, and Oscar thinks it should probably be a look he hasn't seen before, but instead it's familiar, the way it settles over both of them.
"Os-car," Lando says in that same tone from before, "I'm in your fucking twin bed. Your sisters added me to a group chat while you were at the bathroom this afternoon. I learned a card game for you." He lifts his free hand to run a thumb under Oscar's eye, "It's weirder that I've done all that before we got here."
Oscar thinks that's a yes, but he has to be sure, so he catches Lando's fingers in his hand and brushes his lips over them.
"So?" Oscar says.
"So," says Lando, "your mum is going to be so happy when you tell her."
Like qualifying on pole. Like coming home. Lando kisses him.
And then every member of Oscar's family teases them endlessly and it's sooooo fluffy and cute and domestic xoxo the end
#answered#drabble#landoscar#landoscar fic#landoscar fanfic#lando x oscar#soph writes#hahaha i had... the DAY from HELL#but this helped so thank you anon <3#soft cute snuggle boys to infinity and then more#my landoscar
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Christmas & New Years
Part 3 - Fire on Fire Series A/N: Don't know how I feel about this chapter but I hope you like it
You were sitting in the gym with some of the girls, they were all discussing their Christmas plans.
“What are you doing for Christmas? You won’t be alone will you?” Steph asked.
“No, I won’t be. Tante booked me a flight to Paris, so I’m going to Paris. I think we are doing Christmas day with some of Tante’s family.”
“Paris, wow, do you know French?” Kim asked, “Yeah, I do, we actually speak a mix of Swedish, French and English at home.” You all continued talking about Christmas and New Years, and everyone's plans and traditions until it was time for everyone to head out to the pitch.
____
You were about to board your flight when your phone lit up.
From Leah: Safe travels x (Tell me when you land)
To Leah: Thank you. You too x
Your flight to Paris was pretty uneventful, thankfully, there were no children in your part of the aircraft, although that was probably due to the fact your Tante insisted on buying you a first class ticket, but you couldn’t really complain about the complimentary glass of champagne.
Tante and Moster picked you up from the airport and as you were sitting in the back seat you messaged Leah.
“Who are you messaging?” Moster asked, “No one,” you replied, brushing it off, “It doesn’t seem like a no one, have you met someone?” you looked up from your phone and glared at her at the words, “Well that answers my question,” she said smugly.
“Leave her alone babe,” Tante told her off, “Yeah Moster,” you said as Tante rolled her eyes and playfully stuck her tongue out at you. “Such children, the both of you,”
______
You and Leah had a lot more conversations between each other at the training grounds and you found talking with her really easy, you wouldn’t even talk about anything important or useful just random conversations, and slowly over the days you found yourself messaging with Leah more and more, having taken to phone calls most nights. You couldn’t figure out your feelings for her, was she just a friend to you or did you want something more, and you couldn’t decipher her feelings for you.
“How did you know? Like how do you know if someone is the one for you? I haven't known her for long but it feels different, like we talk all the time, and some nights we call each other and talk before we go to sleep. Just it wasn't long between when you both met and got married, so like how do you know, how do you know it’s not just a good friendship and you’re not just reading too much into it?” you blurted out
“I mean it’s different for everyone, but I guess you could say it feels easy, and you can talk to them without it being weird or awkward but you can also sit in silence and it's fine too. It’s kind of like a good friendship but with different feelings.” Moster explained.
“How do you know her? Do you play with her?” Tante asked, “Yeah,” you said as you nodded, “and so I don’t want to just be like reading too much into it and then it get awkward, like obviously I’m going to wait longer to say anything to her about it, but some of the girls have said they think she has a crush on me, but I don’t know if that’s true.”
“Just wait, take your time, if she does like or love you she won't mind waiting, aren’t you doing a preseason camp with the team?” “Yeah, and I think she is my roommate, they’ve given us draft plans in terms of roommates and schedules and currently it says she’s my roommate.”
“Well you’ll find out a lot more then, and even if it end ups that you don’t like each other you could still have a good friendship,” you nod and smile, “Thank you,”
______
Leah sat on the bench as her Mum baked some biscuits, talking away, discussing many things that had happened in their lives recently.
“Have you met someone? You seem different and you’re always on your phone,” Amanda asked her daughter.
“Um, I guess, the new signing, she is really nice and I feel like we just clicked, like it’s so easy to talk to her and she cares about things you say and actually remembers the details, she is very attentive.” Leah said as her Mum watched her expression change as she spoke about this girl.
“That’s good Bubba, go for it, but just don’t jump the gun too fast, and as always remember that if it doesn’t work out she could still end up being a really great friend,” The blonde nodded at her Mum as she slightly bit her bottom lip.
______
You had planned to spend New Year's Eve alone, having just arrived back from Paris that night you weren’t up for the party Beth and Viv were hosting, you had been invited many times by them and Beth promised you it wouldn't be awkward even though you hadn’t spent much time with any of the team but that wasn’t what you were worried about, you were more worried about the ones you had spent quite some time talking to. Leah had invited you, or more asked you to come to the party and to be honest you were nervous, you didn’t want Leah to have any expectations and you also didn’t want to do something you would regret. However after the multitude of Beth’s messages you decided to go, even if you only stayed for a few minutes. It only took you three minutes to get there, as you were still dressed from your flight.
“Y/N you came!” A very excited Leah said as she opened the door, before she dragged you by the wrist to where the countdown was happening.
“Happy New Year, Y/N/N,” she spoke loudly as she pulled you in for a hug, to which you returned.
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#arsenal wfc#awfc#awfc x reader#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#wosoamazing fireonfire
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hello!! can we please please see the reaction of mary and edwina meeting anthony for the first time in the surprise neddy au? I’m sure they were a little worried for kate and neddy and that he might leave them
Hello!
Yeah look, Mary and Edwina were wary of Anthony at first. They obviously don’t blame him for not being in Neddy’s life, the circumstances are what they are but I think they’re a little nervous for Kate and Neddy. They’re all worried that Neddy will get too attached and then Anthony will decide being a father isn’t really for him and Neddy’ll be worse off than never having known Anthony at all. But they’re also desperately curious about Anthony.
When Kate told them she was pregnant Edwina thought she was joking at first. Because Kate wasn’t seeing anyone and hook ups have never really been Kate’s thing honestly. They’re just curious about the kind of guy he is. And Edwina nearly bursts out laughing when she sees him in that news segment.
“So… that’s Neddy’s Dad hey?”
Kate sighed, “Yep. He was… I don’t know, he had a lot of charisma.”
Edwina scoffed, “Let’s not pretend he needed charisma to make him attractive.”
Kate groaned, “He looks a lot like Neddy actually.”
“He does look a lot like Neddy.” Edwina agreed, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to tell Anthony Bridgerton that he has a son.”
Edwina lowered her voice, “Do you want to talk about the fact that Neddy’s Dad is a member of the aristocracy? Because that is fucking crazy. Mum’s going to need a lie down.”
“Mum’s trying not to laugh because it makes a lot of sense.” Mary called over. “He’s handsome, Katie.”
“Why is everyone surprised Neddy’s Dad is handsome?!”
“Kate, I’m not even surprised Neddy’s Dad is white.” Edwina tutted, “That kid’s too fond of plain toast and butter.”
“It does make a lot of sense.” Kate agreed.
It’s pretty obvious from their first meeting, which is Neddy’s third or fourth time meeting Anthony, that he only wants to get to know Neddy and he’s as much right to that as anybody. They both think it’s very sweet the way Anthony’s face lights up when Neddy catches sight of him.
“Anthony!” Neddy sprinted towards him wrapping his arms tight around Anthony’s chest who’d stooped to hug him. “Gramma Mary! This is my Anthony!”
Mary waits for Anthony to straighten, Neddy on his hip now, matching smiles on their faces as he held out his hand.
“Lovely to meet you, Mrs Sharma.”
“You as well, Anthony.”
“Anthony!” Neddy gasped, “I did you a drawing! Wanna see?!”
Anthony gasped letting the boy down, “Of course I want to see. I’d love that, Buddy.”
Neddy sprinted off leaving Mary and Anthony to stare after him. Anthony took a shuddering breath.
“He’s so great. Kate did such a good job with him.”
“Kate’s an excellent mother. I’m biased of course.”
Anthony shook his head, “I’m starting to realise there might not be anything Kate’s not good at. I’m…” he trailed off. “I’ll be grateful forever for him. Probably her as well.”
After that, Mary’s not so worried about Kate and Neddy.
#surprise neddy au#kathony#anthony x kate#kate sharma#kate sheffield#anthony bridgerton#molly’s asks and answers
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what about werewolf!ghost x vampire!soap 👀
hope you don’t mind me using the occasion to revive the rileys for an awkward family dinner
-
Being brought home to meet Ghost’s family is probably one of the more interesting moments of Soap’s (unbearably long) life.
And not only because he’s never properly dated someone as long as he has Ghost before—it’s also because said family isn’t human, and is more than aware of the fact that he drinks blood to keep himself alive.
So. Interesting is where he stands.
Soap is lured in with a false sense of security from two things—the first being Ghost’s insistence that his mother, brother, and sister-in-law are all nicer than him. The second being the warm smile Mrs. Riley offers him at the front door, entirely friendly and sincere, not like the brandishing of sharp canines that Ghost has flashed Soap with once or twice.
She’s pleasant to talk with, already siding with him when it comes to her son’s tendencies, and she even goes so far as to pour him a glass of pig’s blood she’d purchased just for the occasion. And being that it’s so nice, Soap doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he can only tolerate the stuff at best, especially now that he only ever takes from a specific source these days.
It’s through this lovely conversation with Ghost’s mum and the general sense of domesticity that has Soap believing that he shouldn’t encounter any problems when Beth and Tommy arrive.
But how wrong he was.
Beth at least tries to be polite, though Soap doesn’t miss the distasteful scrunch of her nose once she obviously catches scent of what Ghost so lovingly calls the wrongness of vampirism. Tommy, on the other hand, doesn’t so much as bother trying to hide his disdain.
(Thank God Soap finds out later that it’s mostly just the whole protective older brother act, but still. It hurts Soap’s feelings, just a bit.)
Dinner is absolutely stifling when all but Soap are eating what Ghost’s mum has made, all chatter dying off much too quickly in what little bouts Ghost, of all people, tries to initiate. Soap traces his finger around the rim of his barely-touched glass all while he tries to ignore Tommy’s pointed looks like Soap had done something to personally offend him.
Maybe he had.
“You’re sure about this, Simon?” Tommy eventually, finally asks after nothing but pressing silence. Though the question is asked to Soap’s left, he still feels golden eyes near identical to Ghost’s bearing down on him.
Ghost drops his fork onto his plate, his frustration palpable, emanating in waves. “Do you have to be such a prick, Tom?”
“Boys,” Mrs. Riley scolds from her end of the table. “We have a guest.”
“Yeah, and that guest’s a vampire, Mum,” Tommy spits, throwing out his hand in gesture to Soap. “He eats people.”
“Tom,” Beth hisses.
“Common misconception,” Soap mumbles. He feels all attention shift to him, as if they all remembered he was present—right, super-hearing. He clears his throat, raising his voice, “Only the… bad ones do that.”
“Besides,” Ghost is adding, and Soap is a little fearful of where he plans to take this, “he only feeds off me.”
A tense silence blankets the table. Soap wants to sink into the floor.
“…What?”
“It was my idea,” Ghost attempts to amend, but it’s already much too late. This is already a disaster, beyond disaster, and maybe Soap should’ve stuck to his guns about not meeting a family of werewolves as a vampire.
“Doesn’t matter, Simon!” Tommy exclaims his disbelief.
Ghost rolls his eyes. Soap had not at all imagined this to be where the night would lead. It’s what he desperately wished wouldn’t happen. Because he loves Ghost, and Ghost loves his family—so Soap had felt he needed to be in their good graces.
There goes that idea.
“I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t trust him, Tommy,” Ghost says slowly, challenging. “Is how I feel about him not good enough?”
This finally seems to stun Tommy into some form of submission. Soap doesn't miss Beth reaching out to flick Tommy's ear.
"S'pose it is," Tommy grumbles.
"Good." Ghost sits back in his chair, and resumes eating with a smug self-satisfaction poised in his broad shoulders.
There's a kick under the table delivered to Tommy, though Soap can't tell by who. He only knows its recipient by the muttered sorry, John, that follows.
Soap supposes he can be content with that for now. He gives Tommy a close-lipped smile, fearing that any show of fangs might provoke him.
All things considered, things could be worse. Even his military training wouldn't give him a considerable upper-hand against a natural-born werewolf.
He'll have to talk to Ghost about it later. Maybe when the werewolf is shifted, and Soap can dig cold fingers through thick fur. Then again another time, when Ghost can respond with more than huffs and whines and low growls.
They'll figure it out—they've already done it once before with just each other.
But they definitely have to smooth things over sooner rather than later, or else it's going to be real awkward when Soap finally gets the courage to pull out the ring that's been weighing his pocket down for little over a month, now.
It's fine. Everything will be fine. Soap can manage interesting.
#ask#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghost x soap#ghostsoap#ghoap#writing#alternate universe
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Mothers Love
Our Story Masterlist Summary: Anne and Jay can see the love Harry and YN have for each other.
Based on this request
Since the days their sons got put into a band on The X Factor, Jay and Anne clicked. They bonded over their love for their children, fashion and tea.
The two women helped and supported each other through the boys journey of leaving home so quickly and never really returning. They would often talk for hours on the phone in the evening or have a small conversation over Twitter.
But when Anne’s named flashed up on Jay’s phone one afternoon, she was pleasantly surprised.
“Hello love” Jay cheerfully answered.
“Hi my darling…how are you all?”.
“We’re all doing good…how’s everyone with you…Harry’s home isn’t he, Louis told me”.
“Uh yes he is….that’s what I wanted to talk to you about”.
Jay was slightly confused about why Anne would need to talk to her about Harry but she let her continue.
“Is YN home?”.
Without thinking Jay replied. “She’s over at her friends house…why?”.
Anne paused for a short moment, almost like she was piecing together a puzzle. “Harry’s on a date….and I think it’s with YN”.
Jay chuckled at the assumption that her daughter was on a date with her brothers best friend. “She told me she was going over to her friends house…so I don’t think it’s with YN”.
“Jay…they’re definitely on a date”.
“How can you be so sure?”.
“Harry asked for Robin and I’s advice…he kept asking about what he should do if he liked someone he shouldn’t” Anne explained her assumption.
“I don’t understand why that would mean it’s my YN”.
“I also may have seen her name pop up on his phone” Anne defended her reasoning.
“Oh…uh…um…do you think it could be serious then?”.
“Well we’ll soon find out my darling”.
---
A couple of weeks after the article of Harry and YN getting caught kissing was released, Anne had invited Jay and YN over whilst Harry was home for a couple of days to spend the afternoon with them.
When Jay and YN had arrived at Anne’s house, they were warmly welcomed by Anne and Robin, with a nervous Harry hovering behind them. But his nerves calmed slightly when Jay greeted him with a hug and a “nice to see you my love”.
Anne could see that YN and Harry were unsure how to act in front of their Mums, so she invited Jay into the kitchen so she could make them all a cup of tea.
Once their Mums were in the kitchen and far enough not to hear, Harry felt less nervous and pulled YN into his arms “I’ve missed you”.
“I’ve missed you too…so much” YN held onto Harry tighter.
As they both pulled away and looked each other, Harry dipped his head down and placed a peck onto YN’s lips. “I want to properly kiss you…but I’m scared of our Mums right now”, a nervous giggle left his mouth.
“Oh yeah ‘cause me Mum and Anne are really scary aren’t they?” YN teased.
“Harry!” Anne’s voice interrupted them. “Your teas are ready”.
Not wanting to keep their Mums waiting, Harry showed YN the way into the kitchen, his hand covering the small of her back.
As they approached the open kitchen, both Anne and Jay were sat next to each other at the kitchen table, four cups of tea sitting on the table.
“Here’s your tea my loves” Anne gestures to the two mugs sat on the table with steam coming from them.
Harry and YN sat opposite their Mums and took a sip of their teas.
“Okay…so we thought it would be a good idea to talk about the both of you” Anne broke the silence that surrounded them.
“Mum…please” Harry began to protest, not wanting to have this conversation with his Mum or Jay.
Anne was quick to interrupt “Harry…we need to talk about this…look you’re my baby but YN is Jay’s…and I want to make sure you’re serious about this”.
“Of course I’m serious…I l-…I’m serious Mum” Harry’s words stumbled out, YN reaching her hand across under the table to lace her fingers with his.
“I’m sorry…I just don’t want anyone to get hurt” Anne expressed her concern.
“I think what your Mum is trying to say is…you’re both our babies and we want what’s best for you” Jay tried to explain her and Anne’s feelings.
For the first time since sitting at the table, YN speaks “Mum..Anne…I know we’re young and it might seem like we don’t know what we want…but please trust us”.
Anne and Jay shared a look, knowing that Harry and YN were right. They needed to trust their children.
---
The boys were playing their first show of their Take Me Tour at the London O2 Arena, and of course all the boys families were attending. YN was joining the boys on the tour as Lou’s assistant.
Anne and Jay were sat chatting together ahead of the show, expressing how much they were going to miss their sons and Jay saying how she felt even more emotional this tour because YN would be joining them.
But both women glanced to where Harry and YN were cuddled up on a chair in the corner of the room, watching something on one of their phones and giggling every so often.
“Aww to be young and in love again” Anne joked and nudged Jay. “I’m just older and in love”.
Jay laughed at Anne’s joke but understanding completely. “I hope their love lasts”.
“A love like that could never end”.
---
The day of Jay and Dan’s wedding, Harry, Anne and Robin were sat in the audience waiting for the ceremony to start.
“When’s your big day then?” Anne openly questioned Harry.
Harry coughed into his hand, a shy smile on his face. “Hmm…all you need to know is…one day I’ll marry YN”. Harry’s cheeky smile appearing as he glanced to the side to respond to his mother.
It was later on in the evening, guests had taken to the dance floor slow dancing to Thinking Out Loud. But Anne and Jay had found themselves sitting at one of the round tables in the outside marquee, watching as Harry and YN swayed to Ed’s voice. Harry had his hands resting at her hips, whilst YN’s were wrapped around his shoulders.
The couple could be seen whispering and giggling to each other. “Harry hasn’t stopped staring at YN all day” Anne announced.
“If they keep that up, we’ll be grandma’s before we know it” Jay chuckled, whilst pointing out the couple kissing on the dance floor.
“Do we tell them to stop?” Anne nervously asked, unsure what they should do.
Jay laughed and nudged Anne’s shoulder with hers. “They’re young…let them enjoy…plus I wouldn’t mind being a Nana”.
“You’d be the best Nana” Anne complimented Jay, giving her big smile.
“Our grandbabies will have the best grandma’s”.
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annetwist Young love ❤️ Our babies mrsjoannahdeakin xx View all 8,576 comments
gemmastyles Aw cuties 💕
mrsjoannahdeakin The perfect photo! Our babies ❤️❤️
harryfan I still don't believe this is real!
louteasdale my fav couple xx
louisfan Can they get any cuter💘
lottietomlinson yntomlinson...yours next??? ⌞gemmastyles I agree x ⌞harryynfan PLEASE GET MARRIED! ⌞niallhoran Go on, we could do with another wedding x
ynfan ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ynupdate OUR FAVOURITE DUO! We've had so much YN and Harry content today!
1Dfan they're so in love!
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#harry styles x reader#harry styles#harry styles x y/n#harrystyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles fanfic#harry styles series#harry styles writing#one direction#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x tomlinson!reader#harry styles x oc#harry x reader#harry x yn#harry x y/n#harry x you#harry styles fic#harry styles series masterlist#harry styles masterlist#harry styles imagines#harry styles imagine#louis tomlinson#niall horan#zayn malik#liam payne#harry 1d#one direction imagine#one direction fanfiction#tomlinson!yn
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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty-Three
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?
Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!
Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx
Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
“I said no.”
Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.
“Give me a reason at least?"
I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?
“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.
“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.
I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”
Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.
“One thing after another with you.”
My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”
The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”
I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it.
“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.
“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”
I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.
Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.
I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”
With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”
I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”
To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep.
Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.
“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”
“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”
Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”
My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.
The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.
He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.
I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me.
Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand.
But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.
Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.
“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.
“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.
“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”
Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.
Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.
When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.
“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”
I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky.
“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs.
“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.
Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”
I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-
“Anyone here?”
I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.
George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”
Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.
“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”
“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”
I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”
Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”
I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done.
Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”
Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.
“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”
It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.
Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.
See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.
Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard.
George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more.
Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.
He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.
I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon.
The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.
I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.
I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated.
“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”
George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”
Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”
I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.
Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”
I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”
He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.”
I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”
Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”
I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.
He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”
I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.
During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.
George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.
“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about.
He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it.
“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.
Or maybe I was just kidding myself.
“Sorry.”
George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”
He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.
“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile.
“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.
I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.
“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."
I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.
Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.
I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.
“What?”
George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.
“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me.
Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”
My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”
We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.
“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.
I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”
That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”
George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”
He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.
His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”
I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.
The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.
I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.
You had me from the start Pulling all the stops out On the down low, secretly But I think you knew your psychology Was working on me Infatuated And doing this all wrong You've got My number and my name And you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going Can I see you every day? Do you love me Like I love you? Ah, you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going
(Song: Ride - Future Love)
It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me.
I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.
His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.
A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.
Not even a second later my phone was in my hand.
Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me?
–
Matty had always had a thing for Sundays.
There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick.
No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him.
There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.
Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.
It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.
Jamie had somehow managed it.
Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.
But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.
It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings.
He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.
There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.
He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.
Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.
Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.
The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”
Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.
This was it, he supposed.
The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.
He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.
The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.
If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal.
He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.
It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.
She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.
Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.
The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.
“You can just hang your-”
“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway.
It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.
“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”
He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him.
Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”
God, it was so fucking strained.
He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.
“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.
“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”
Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”
She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before.
But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.
Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv.
There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.
She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which.
He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.
He found himself smiling at the thought.
It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.
“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down.
Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.
“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.
She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”
Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”
She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”
Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.
The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.
“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.”
Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.
She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”
“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.
“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”
Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”
Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.
“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...”
He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks.
She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?”
“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.
“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”
That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.
Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind.
“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”
Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.
Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”
Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.
“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.”
He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”
He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.
“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”
Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.
“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”
“Said what?”
Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”
Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.
Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”
Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.
“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.
“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”
She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.
“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”
Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.
“Then what?”
Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”
Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.
He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.
It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”
Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.
“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.
“I know.” He answered.
“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.
“I know.”
He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.
#the 1975#fic#matty healy#angst#radio host#reader#x reader#x you#george daniel#ross macdonald#the 1975 band#adam hann#fluff#humour#smut#matty healy fic#matty 1975#matty healy x reader#matty x reader#matty healy x you#ao3#fame#strangers to lovers#mum reader#kid fic#getting together#SLOWBURN#mutual pining#Warnings#aipoban
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AITA for breaking up with my partners over such a small thing?
🩼🩼🩼 so I can spot this
I often break things off with my partners. They often don’t want to talk to me after, and I understand that, but I still want to be friends with them.
If they don’t want that, I understand that too. They want space - I give them space. I view it as we tried something and it didn’t work.
Would that make me an asshole still wanting to be friends? No idea.
Even so - there is more to why I break things off with my partners that I tend not to bring up at the final moment because I know it will upset them and perhaps ruin that friendship.
Some back story - I have a chronic illness which causes chronic pain. I can have seizures that can go on for 20 mins or longer, I periodically loose my ability to walk, and the big one is I can’t be touched without asking. (This includes my cane please never touch my cane without asking thank you)
Essentially- all of the nerves in my body are hypersensitive. Without going into too much detail, essentially my brain got stuck in fight or flight mode so the proverbial ‘alarm bells’ are ringing all the time, when in reality I’m safe and well. This means my body tries to defend me by ‘playing dead’ (seizures, fainting, drops) or thinks I’ve been badly injured (chronic pain).
When I first developed this illness, I could barely ware clothes, let alone be touched. I worked up to hugging my family again over a 2 year period with a lot of help from my mum - bless her heart. It was really hard for my family - but they worked through it with me. And what helped was they’re not physical people anyway. We don’t hug that much.
Now, I can be touched unless I am told before hand. Hooray! Surprise touch is agonising.
Though - both of the partners I’ve had in the past don’t seem to get this, and get upset when I ask them to ask before hand. They argue that I’m their partner and they can hug me when they want too, and want me to be more physical with them.
And yeah I suppose they can but at the same time surprise touch I can feel on my skin for hours at a time. It really hurts.
Also, if I have a seizure and ask for them to come find me or for comfort, they don’t know what to say, can’t come because they’re busy or don’t want to say the Same things over and over too me. When in reality, I’ve just had my brain fried and just need someone to tell me I’m safe because my brain is still convinced I’m in mortal danger.
I understand that being in a relationship with someone who has disabilities like mine can be hard. I often emphasise to them that my mental health is not their responsibility, and I have a counsellor that I regularly see to help me through the complexities of my illness and the toll it has on my mental health. I often encourage them if they’re really struggling with my illness to talk to helplines about and for my illness if I’m too sick to help them in that moment. They deserve support even if I’m not there or if it’s unrelated to my illnesses.
Quite often when I break things off - it’s because I can’t give them what they need because of my illness. If they like physical affection - which they often do - I can’t give it to them outside of the home or without asking before hand.
At the end of the day - I still want to be friends with them and I think they’re wonderful people. It’s just I can’t give them what they need, and they also can’t be there for me during my bad moments because the type of comfort I need is emotional, rather than physical.
At worse, touch me and I will scream it hurts that bad. People don’t seem to understand this.
Anyway. AITA? What can I do to communicate my needs better in the future? I view all my relationships as learning opportunities to be a better partner in future - and if you guys have any ideas on how to approach disabled / inter-abled relationships, I’d love to hear them.
All the best :)
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@heartfeltletters-written asked me 💥 How do you feel about criticism? and it felt like something that needed its own post, so here goes: the hypocrisy of critics in modern fandoms, an essay.
Criticism. I don't like getting it or giving it when it comes to writing. I struggle to even gently give it to friends, even when they ask me what I think of their work. Writing is such a personal thing that we pour our heart and soul into and like you say, many criticisms aren't necessarily valid. By that I mean, there's a difference between "Amy you use em dashes a lot babe" (I do) and "This story would have been so much better if Remi were a virgin" (actual criticism I have received, lmao).
Unlike traditional authors, we will never make money from this, we do it for the love of it and it's time we will never get back. For some of us, it's time we could be working on our own original manuscripts too. I don't think people who give the second type of criticism are writers, generally. They don't understand the craft and what goes into it. Whenever I post and someone says a chapter was short or they immediately ask when the next one is, and that's all they say, I die inside a little. I try not to take it personally, but it's hard.
Personally, I think fandom behaviour is getting worse and that flows over into our comment sections and tumblr asks. I have a whole other dissertation on this that we’ll call ‘the slow death of fandom as we know it: an essay’, but that’s perhaps for another post. I don’t know how welcomed that commentary would be.
You said the word ‘entitled’ in your original ask and I think that’s spot on. People have become more entitled in general and downright rude (which is not restricted to online spaces, by the way). I write for ACOTAR, but you’ve never seen me discuss it here because no matter what you say in that regard, you can’t win. Someone will always attack you and I do mean attack. Even in regards to Fourth Wing, I don't talk about my opinions a lot outside of my own little bubble of friends and readers.
And that's the kicker to this whole conversation, really. If I were to criticise Iron Flame/RY everyone would jump down my throat (as has happened on other platforms), even though I'd never say it to her face. Do I stand by my opinions? Absolutely. But it would be rude to tell her them, unless asked. I’m not allowed to (validly) criticise certain elements of her story, a published novel, without being attacked for it, but those same people are fine criticising my work directly to me. Hypocrisy at its finest.
There’s a new influx of people to fandom spaces who are completely unwilling to integrate and completely unwilling to be kind. You mentioned those who criticised your work could have saved themselves the trouble and read the tags, but the thing is: they don’t want to. They can’t be bothered to take five seconds and figure out how they work, to curate their own experience, because that’s what half these people are like. They want an algorithm to do it for them, gods help us.
For me, personally, I'm my biggest critic. I also have raging generalised anxiety, so just posting on the internet is enough to send me spiralling (seriously, I feel sick just typing this out). It's very, very out of my comfort zone and I've been very, very lucky so far to have cultivated the readership I have, full of very like-minded people. Perhaps due to some of the darker content matter. But the second I get harshly worded comments, I get upset.
I don't say that to elicit sympathy, it's just a fact. I get upset about it the same way I would if you were standing in front of me saying it to my face, and for someone with depression and anxiety, that lingers. I'm getting better at laughing at them, but it's like when someone tells you they don't like you and your mum says "just ignore them"—not that easy, right?
So yeah, I don't mind if you want to tell me I use a lot of em dashes, or that I've used a word incorrectly in context, but I don't need to hear how much you hate original character fic when you could just use your last remaining braincell the back button and continue on with your day. Just be kind, is all I'm saying.
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