#also y'all are straight up spoiling me with all these questions!

[simplyraeblue]

hunter and hunted (jjk)

college (summer) break au: a fic in which y/n is pining over Yuji's older brother Sukuna, while unbeknownst to her, Choso is doing the same thing for her. contents: sukuna x reader, choso x reader, modern college AU, yuji and choso are brothers, sukuna and yuji are brothers, smut warning

chapter warnings/tags: fluff, angst, mentions of physical harm (bruises and bite marks), choso is literally a protective sweetie, reader starts getting butterflies for choso A/N: I literally dream of Choso comforting me y'all, literally sweetie pie 😭

index part six | part eight

part seven word count: 2,410

you had been working tirelessly to dodge Sukuna as if he were a plague. considering your body felt like it had been ravaged by an actual epidemic—with sore, aching muscles and bruises that seemed to throb with every movement—it seemed like a reasonable strategy. whenever you knew Sukuna was in the kitchen or the living room, you’d retreat to your room, barricading yourself from his presence. for two days, your efforts had been successful.

with both Choso and Yuji off on their separate errands, you experienced a mix of relief and frustration. on one hand, their absence meant you wouldn’t be questioned about your strange behavior. on the other, it also meant you lacked any diversion from Sukuna’s looming presence. deep down, you knew you’d have to confront him sooner or later—whether to unleash your anger or break down in tears.

maybe you were at fault; after all, you had ventured into the situation knowingly. but you hadn’t anticipated things spiraling the way they did, and certainly didn’t want them to end so badly.

one thing you knew for sure – you didn’t deserve to be kicked out immediately after.

luckily for you, you had heard everyone leave the house just moments ago. the prospect of raiding the kitchen filled you with silent joy. with no reason to remain hidden, you wandered out of your room in casual shorts and a t-shirt, your growling stomach pulling you toward the kitchen.

you peeked into the fridge, trying to decide whether to eat Yuji’s leftovers or cook something yourself. yeah, you were definitely going for Yuji’s leftovers. you’d make it up to him later—maybe.

after reheating the food and settling down at the bar, you forced yourself not to look at the counter where Sukuna had previously placed you. the thought of it nearly spoiled your appetite with anxiety.

just as you began to enjoy your meal, convinced that luck was finally on your side, you quickly discovered that the gods had other plans.

how did you miss the sound of the door being unlocked? you froze mid-bite, your eyes darting up just as Choso walked in through the front door. he hadn't noticed you yet, and you quickly considered ducking under the counter to stay out of sight.

“oh, hey y’n,” Choso greeted with a warm smile as he spotted you. you must have looked like a startled possum, wide-eyed and frozen in place. Choso’s smile faded into a concerned frown as he noticed your stunned expression. “are you okay?”

you snapped out of your daze, trying to muster up a casual, cheerful demeanor. “oh, hey Choso! yeah, I’m fine. just didn’t expect anyone to be home.”

Choso chuckled and shook his head as he placed his keys on the counter and headed straight for the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water. “haven’t seen you out of your room in a while. have you been sick?”

sick, sure.

“um, yeah. I don’t really know what’s been going on with me,” you said, shoveling more food into your mouth. you hoped Choso would fall into his usual quiet routine and retreat back to his room.

but Choso’s attention was fixed on you as he moved around the bar. he gently tapped your forehead with the back of his hand, clearly checking for a fever.

“hm, you don’t feel feverish,” he said, looking thoughtful. “so maybe—”

you wanted to disappear when you saw Choso freeze, his eyes locked on your neck where the bruises, shaped like teeth and fingerprints, were unmistakably visible.

“did you—” he began to ask, but you leapt from your seat, cutting him off.

“it’s not what you think!” you blurted out, the words spilling out uncontrollably. however, standing up turned out to be a terrible decision. Choso’s gaze dropped to your thighs, where the bruises were just as evident.

you could see the horror in Choso’s eyes as he pieced together the disturbing sight before him. you knew exactly what he was thinking, and his reaction confirmed it.

“Choso, it’s—”

“who the hell did this to you?” Choso’s voice was filled with so much anger as he moved closer, reaching out for your arm. you braced yourself with a flinch, but his touch was unexpectedly gentle, like a warm caress. “y/n, why did you just flinch?”

“I know what it looks like, but I’m fine,” you stammered, trying to keep your emotions in check. despite your best efforts to keep your feelings contained, they were starting to bubble over.

“it doesn’t look like you’re fine.” Choso’s anger softened, and his tone became more compassionate as he continued to examine your skin for any other marks. you felt like a specimen under a microscope, unable to move as he inspected every visible bruise.

“I promise I’m fine,” you insisted, though you could feel the emotional dam inside you cracking.

“who did this to you?” Choso’s single, pleading question, delivered with such a gentle tone, was all it took. the lock on your emotions broke, and the floodgates opened wide.

the tears you had been desperately trying to hold back began to trickle down your cheeks, and as soon as Choso noticed, he pulled you into a tender embrace, resting your head against his chest.

“it’s my fault, I wanted to,” you cried out, your voice breaking as you buried your face in his shirt. the sobs came uncontrollably now, shaking your whole body. “I wanted to do it, I just didn’t know it would be like this. everything hurts now, and it’s all my fault.”

“shh, it’s okay,” Choso murmured soothingly, his hand gently stroking the back of your head. you could feel the rapid beat of his heart through his chest where your ear was pressed. you were desperate for him not to be angry, and the thought of him confronting Sukuna filled you with dread.

“it’s not supposed to be like this, right?” you asked through your sniffles, seeking some reassurance.

suddenly, you felt Choso pull back slightly, lifting your chin so you had to look up at him. the look in his eyes was intense, a mix of anger and concern.

“no. no, it’s not supposed to be like this,” Choso confirmed with a firm, unyielding tone. you nodded slightly against his hand, but he kept his grip steady, making sure you stayed focused on him. “listen to me—whoever did this should have asked you if this was what you wanted. whether or not you consented, if you didn’t want to end up like this… they should have asked.”

he was right, damn it. you knew he was right, but you were still lost. Sukuna hadn’t always been terrible—there were parts of him you had seen that were softer, kinder, that he didn’t show to anyone else. now, everything you thought you knew was under question, and you felt adrift, unsure of where to go from here.

“is this why you’ve been hiding in your room?” Choso asked, his voice filled with concern as he noticed your small nod. “you have to tell me, y/n. who did this to you?”

“why, because you’re going to beat them up?” you tried to joke, but the uncertainty in your voice betrayed your fear. you needed to know whether Choso would confront Sukuna. hell, the thought of Yuji finding out made you shudder.

Choso��s eyes grew dark, and his expression hardened as he stared into your tear-filled eyes. “yes.”

his answer was a heavy confirmation. you knew you couldn’t reveal the truth; it was a secret you’d carry with you forever.

“I don’t know,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant, though it was a weak excuse. you could see Choso’s wariness growing. “I don’t remember his name.” there, that was a better excuse for him to latch onto.

“we’ll figure it out,” Choso murmured softly, pulling you into another enveloping hug. the warmth of his embrace felt like a balm to your aching soul, offering the comfort you had been craving since that night with Sukuna.

his hug was like a cozy blanket fresh out of the dryer, wrapping you in a soothing warmth. you felt safe and secure within his arms. as you took a deep breath, the scent of lavender soap filled your senses. the calming fragrance overwhelmed you with a sense of peace, and you could almost imagine breathing it in again.

you pulled back suddenly, realizing how your thoughts were spiraling. once the comforting scent of lavender faded, a wave of anxiety washed over you. “oh my god, Choso, please don’t tell Yuji,” you pleaded, panic evident in your voice. you were increasingly worried about how your best friend would react.

“y/n, he’ll want to know what happened,” Choso urged, his hands gently gripping your arms as if to anchor you in place. “you can’t keep this from him.”

“yes, I can. I’ve managed to hide it for the past two days, and I can keep doing it until my skin heals,” you insisted, desperate to keep the situation under wraps.

“I’m telling him.”

“no, you’re not!” you countered, your voice rising in desperation.

“I am,” Choso said firmly. “either you tell him, or I will.” his expression was resolute, his tone leaving no room for argument. “let him be there to help you.”

“but I have you,” you argued, hoping that was enough to persuade him. when Choso shook his head, you sighed in resignation. “fine, I’ll tell him. but only if you promise to be there to stop him from doing something reckless.”

a hint of a smile twitched at the corner of Choso’s lips, as if he was trying to contain it. “if he knows who did this, I’m not stopping him.”

“ugh, you men and your bravado,” you teased, finally managing to wipe away the tears that had been staining your face. you knew Choso was right; Yuji would need to know, even if it was the last thing you wanted. it would only hurt him more if he heard it from Choso first.

“do you want another hug?” Choso asked quietly, his eyes scanning your face for any lingering signs of distress.

even though you felt better, you nodded. Choso pulled you into another embrace, his warmth a comforting balm against the chaos of your emotions.

what you hadn’t realized, however, was that Yuji had walked in just as Choso wrapped his arms around you again.

Yuji stood in the doorway, his expression frozen in shock as he took in the sight of you wrapped in Choso’s arms. the room seemed to freeze, the air thick with tension.

Choso’s embrace tightened slightly, as if trying to shield you from Yuji’s view. you felt a fresh wave of panic, realizing that your shortly managed secret was about to be exposed.

“y/n?” Yuji’s voice was a mix of concern and confusion. he stepped further into the room, his eyes darting between you and Choso.

you tried to pull away from Choso, but his arms remained firm, offering you a comforting presence. “Yuji, it’s not what it looks like,” you started, your voice trembling.

Choso finally released you, turning to face Yuji with a serious expression. “Yuji, there’s something you need to know.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

once Yuji got it out of his head that something was happening between you and Choso, explaining everything to him went faster than it did with Choso, mostly because you’d already laid everything bare once. however, the real challenge was dealing with the aftermath.

Yuji was pacing the living room floor, his agitation palpable as he marched back and forth. you and Choso sat on the couch, your eyes tracking Yuji’s restless movements.

“I’ll kill him,” Yuji growled, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “I don’t care who he is or how big he is—I’ll kill him.” his voice was a low, dangerous rumble. for what felt like the umpteenth time, you shook your head. you weren’t sure how he’d react if he knew it was his own brother.

“no one’s killing anyone,” you said firmly, but it was clear your words were barely registering with him.

“I’ll help you kill him,” Choso added, his tone supportive but firm. you swatted his arm in a half-hearted attempt to get him to back off, earning a surprised “ow” from him.

Yuji’s fierce determination seemed to waver as he suddenly stopped his pacing and knelt in front of you, taking your hands in his. his face was a picture of concern. “what do you need? are you okay? do you want some soba? maybe some dessert?” his words tumbled out in a rush, and you couldn’t help but smile. leave it to Yuji to offer comfort through food.

“Yuji, I’m okay,” you said, patting his head in a soothing gesture, like a mother comforting a child. his eyes remained locked on yours. “I’m maybe a little sore, but I’m okay now.”

“so you don’t want soba?” Yuji asked again, tilting his head like a confused puppy. that adorable, earnest look made it impossible to say no.

“if you really want to get soba, just say so,” you teased. Choso chuckled beside you, having already figured out that Yuji’s need for food was more about his own hunger than anything else. “but if you’re ordering soba, you might as well get me some too.”

“yes!” Yuji exclaimed, his face lighting up with determination. in a flash, his phone was out, and he was placing an order without even asking you what you wanted—no doubt already selecting your favorite.

“listen, y/n,” Choso said softly from beside you, catching your attention. his eyes were still clouded with anger, but his features were gentle and caring. “don’t go hiding in your room again. please, for me.”

“and for me!” Yuji shouted from where he was focused on his phone, not looking up.

the intensity in Choso’s eyes was something else entirely—a fierce protectiveness that sent a shiver down your spine and made your heart race in your chest.

“don’t worry, Choso,” you said, trying to lighten the mood. “I promise I’ll get back to nagging you about your music.” your attempt at humor made Choso smile—a wide, genuine beam that seemed to light up his whole face. he nudged his shoulder against yours affectionately.

“fine,” he said, still smiling, “I’ll let you pick the music if it makes you feel better.”

“really?!”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . taglist: @nighttwingg @sweetsformysoul @casualpoetrytaco @lvingd3adg0rl @haikomaiko @csolya @deathlypink

i hope i didn't miss anyone! tumblr has been finicky with my tags if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this WIP let me know! ♡ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

[multifandomslxt]

NCT 127 and their sugar daddy ratings PT.1

part two coming soon as well as a svt and skz version

Johnny Suh

9.5/10 ( less .5 because he refuses to use the title of sugar daddy, instead he prefers "sponsor".)

He's a CEO. No questions about it.

The man is Fucking RICH

You met through a mutual friend

talked a bit and you ended up telling him that

you were currently taking a year off because of a financial bind

Lies to you and tells you he sponsors college students sometimes

and that he would like to sponsor you

Of course you immediately accept the offer

so begins the sugar daddy antics

Would spoil you,

And I do mean

SPOIL YOU!

The song 'Sexy' by JoeVille

"you can do anything you want when you sexy"

Is something he literally lives by

you can do no fucking wrong in his eyes

you're his princess

went on a business trip once and came back to tell you

he bought you a whole penthouse apartment

just in case you wanted to "Study abroad"

buys you EVERYTHING you could ever want

demands you call him "Mr. Suh"

in your eyes its because he wants respect

in his eyes its the closest thing to 'daddy'.

Forbids you from getting a part-time job because

"I can take care of you. Let me take care of you I'm your sponsor after all."

Buys you an expensive necklace for your graduation present.

Then finally reveals that the whole sponsor thing was just him spending his personal money on you.

and so begins the sugar baby-to-girlfriend pipeline.

treats you the same except

now yall are having sex 6/7 days of the week.

Jung Jaehyun

10/10 (bitch he's perfecttttttt)

Another CEO

He ain't rich like Johnny though

This bitch right here?

he is ✨ WEALTHY✨

LOVESSSSSSS TO SPEND HIS MONEY

You met while you were at work

Everybody knew him

and you were the waitress in charge of his table

First thing you realized about this man

he doesn't speak to many people

Someone literally ordered for him

anyways

imagine your shock when you're about to clock out and your

co-worker tells you "Y/n, Mr. Jung would like to have a word with you. He says to bring your stuff with you"

His security leads you to his car and you step in

Jaehyun is literally staring at you the minute you sit in the car

"I'll be straight to the point, I have a meeting to get to in the next 10 minutes. I want you."

Cue the shocked look and silence

However, y'all start to date.

yes, he's your boyfriend and your sugar daddy

as I said, he enjoys spending his money

but only on very specific people.

takes you all over the fucking world you hear me???

Paris has seen your face more than your local chick-fil-a

the type to buy you anything you look at

even if it was for a mili second

this explains how your closet is now overflowing with designer dresses

also, you're a curvy queen

listen closely

HE WILL BE BUYING YOU EVERY DESIGNER BODY CON DRESS TO EVER EXIST!

this is his fav so simple yet so effective (he's convinced you're trying to k!ll him)

that dress got you a fucking range rover babeee

and it also got you a few days of sick leave from the "unnecessary job" as Jaehyun likes to call it.

completely reaaranged your guts lmaoo

And the lingerie??

its tradition he buys you 10-15 sets every Friday

"Y'know daddy'll give you the world right?"

Lee Taeyong

9/10 (he was awkward at first lmaoo)

First off you don't know what he does

but the bitch got MONEYYYYYYYYYY

You met on a sugar baby app

you were just trynna make ends meet

he was just trynna get rid of the extra money he got

his first text to you seemed so damn auto mated lmaooo

"hello, I'm Taeyong! Would you like to continue this conversation?"

you were like "???"

but yk eventually yall kicked it off

gave you his card pin after your third date

"Anything you want Daddy will buy it for you okay?"

omfg

the type to set up an account for you just for your hair and nails

fucckkkkkkk

he even sends you what he wants you to get.

Just so yk

Them Fulani braids

will send him in a coma

he loves frenchies too

so expect alooottt of special requests

he expects to see your personal purchases on his bank statements

don't play with him.

got his bank statement once and dint see your daily coffee purchase

fucked you into oblivion just for that.

he pays your rent

and is also planning on buying you 2 cars for your birthday

one for everyday use

and the other for special occasions lmaoooo

"Just let Daddy take care of you okay?"

Nakamoto Yuta

11/10 (Bitch...it's literally Yuta)

You also don't know what he does

but as usual, he got money

somehow WEALTHIER than Jaehyun

Yall met through a sugar baby app

he was experimenting

and you were new to this

has a specific amount of money he must depend on you at the end of every month

over 200k

I said what I said

yes you are his sugar baby but he was very clear

when he told you that he is also the MAN in your life

ain't nobody supposed to have access to that pu$$y except him and you

got that??

s3x with him is surprisingly rare btw

he's wayyy too busy to be around you 24/7

hence the over the top 200k budget

always has eyes on you even when he isn't there

you went grocery shopping n the wrong side of town once

and he called you the minute you got home

"What did I tell you about putting yourself in danger princess? do you want me to come home early and teach you a lesson?"

probably the most possessive out of all of them

[oh-my-may]

I'm still alive omg!

Lots of irl things happening atm, BUT I managed to play through Penacony 2.2 (stretched over 3 days, no less)

Woah. Just ... woah. So much happening, so many characters interacting, so much lore, IT WAS GOING ON FOREVER but I loved it nonetheless. Of course they had to make the finale of Penacony long and epic.

FIRST OF ALL I KNEW IT! I TOLD Y'ALL!!! Literally in my post about 2.1 I talked about how Misha definitely has some close connection to Mikhail/the Watchmaker. I suspected him to be a child of his or something but the actual thing was close enough, I guess. My sweet boy. I love him. Mikhail being a Nameless was so cool. I'm really glad we're finally getting more lore and info about Akivili and previous Nameless, but I feel this was only the beginning.

I'm still madly in love with Sunday and Acheron. Robin is such a cutie too. I'm not gonna pull for her because I need my savings for Mr. Boothill and then Jade but I'll try and pull for her on a rerun. Sway to My Beat in Cosmos is such a banger. Caught myself constantly singing "riiise into my wooorld" (ofc much worse than the one and only lol)

On the topic of Boothill... my god. Love him. The way they can't make him swear so they just make him say??? Whatever??? Whose idea was that 💀 mother loving instead of mother fucking?? What the fork?? Wubbaboo?? I would die for this man. He looks so hot too. Again I have to say that HSR never misses with male character design. THEY'RE ALL SO PRETTY.

On the topic of pretty men... SUNDAY. My little radicalized bird man. I cackled when Sparkle called him chicken boy. She's just a hater, love her for that. Serious question... is he straight up dead now? I have only played the main quest so far so in case it'a mentioned somewhere in game don't spoil me but if it's not... tell me will I get to see him as a playable character... pls...

The whole thing with Ena the Order was so interesting to see. The fact that they made Order so similar to Harmony... AEON LORE. Love it. Resurrecting an Aeon is possible, you say? Kind of? The way they make Sunday'a motives understandable... he's just a boy

So I had the feeling that facing the boss Dominicus was a bit too easy the first time around. Wdym he has only one phase. I should have known there was more to it. Nevertheless loved to see IL and Jing Yuan cameo. They slayed (literally)

But then the eerie feeling I got when Black Swan talked to us on the Express... the way she makes us question everything that happened... GENIUS. I did kind of get flashbacks to Sumeru act II. The line between dream and reality, who is dreaming, what happens outside of the dream, the repetition of events... not critiquing or hating, but the concepts were just similar to me and I liked it :) Penacony just put a different twist to it.

The final fight was still very cool. The several toughness bars to break is really interesting, and the fact that you get a shield value the more bars you break. Also the Astral Ecpress literally crashing into Sunday??? I barely realized what I had just watched ghe first time around. Idk why, but the concept is hilarious to me. And the question remains... is Sunday dead now??? What about Robin?? Are they both dead??

Aventurine isn't dead either?? What about the present that Sparkle gave out to several people? What was it and what did it do? Is there smth I don't remember about that rn? Did I miss it? Also if Robin didn't actually die, how come we saw her body? If she just got transported to Dreamflux Reef, then there wouldn't have been a body, right? ALSO is Firefly dead too? She didn't make an appearance throughout the second part after we see her leave and she talked abput the way that the script said she would die 3 times in Penacony... I'm so eternally confused. It's part of the reason I think there's still gonna be more in the next patch... They're not gonna give us playable Firefly without at least a Story Quest for her, right? And Jade, too? She had one appearance in a throwback during the story, the Trailblazer hasn't interacted with her in person yet so the IPC probably hasn't finished their business with Penacony yet?

And since I mentioned Trailblazer... HARMONY MC??? LOOKS SO GOOD? LOVE THE MOVES?? THE HAT? The Significance of it had me 😭😭 my MC obsession ks back y'all. He looks so good. Caelus ily. The silly little dance with Clockie 😭 Can't wait to build him, I heard Harmony MC is really good.

I also briefly have to mention my girl Acheron. So they've literally just casually confirmed that she's Raiden Mai? I actually don't know what Bosenmori means or it's significance BUT RAIDEN MEI. And her whole flashback with Tiernan... I had my suspicions about his identity but the reveal was interesting, anyway. I've got the feeling this is not the last we've seen of Acheron. I never played HI3rd far enough to fully understand Raiden Mei's story, but I'm really intrigued with the whole thing. How come her and Welt exist in noth universes, how did they end up in HSR and what's their motive?

One thing I'm also still hung up on is the Annihilation Gang... no more mention of them? We don't get any real eyplanation as to why Acheron killed Duke Inferno? No little animation of the scene? I'm guessing it's gonna play a role later? The reason they talked about it is probably to tell us that Acheron was dangerous but like... idk what to think of it. No question the other members of the Gang are gonna appear later and maybe then we'll get more background? But if they don't play a large role in Penacony, why introduce them to the players prior to it in such a grand way?

Anyway, I judt have lots of questions still but no doubt the game is gonna answer them when the time is right... I had a really good time playing the quest, went through a whole lot of emotions during it, fell in love with even mlre characters... the new maps are GIGANTIC and look so cool and let me just say rhe music was so so epic too. Can't wait for the OST for this to get released.

I also wanna mention here (outside of discusaions about the story) is that having a fully leveled Acheron with pretty decent relics paired with a tank Aventurine feels like playing the game on easy mode. Nothing can penetrate a fully def stacked Aventurine, and Acheron's damage is straight up insane. Gonna take a while before I get tired of using them. They helped me clear basically all Stage V of every SU World I hadn't done yet... legends.

Now we wait for Boothill... The grip that Hunt characters have on me is unbelievable. Meta wise I know I should invest in Harmony characters... Ruan Mei or Robin but... HAVE YOU SEEN BOOTHILL? HAVE YOU???

Alright, that's it for now. Really excited to dive into exploration and events and quests of the new maps. Might post a little about it.. or maybe not. I still have to tell you about my thoughts on the Arlecchino quest and Remuria exploration, I began a post about that and never got around to finishing it.

As always, have some cool screenshots from the story!

[gurugirl]

Are we getting anything new from you Guru? I know you are working on king harry but what else????? Sex tutor? How's that one coming along? Anything you can share with it? Have you ever thought about doing a vampire Harry?

So many questions sorry!! Just love your work and I got spoiled being on your Patreon with all the amazing stuff you have going on over there (I really miss loveable rogue btw 😭 how's he doing?) I had to cancel because I have big bills coming up. I will subscribe again soon when I have everything paid off. Love you Guru!!

FIRST!! You're so so nice to say all this! I'm so happy you're here and that you want to know what I'm up to :) Mean King is in the works. He's coming along slowly but surely. Sex Tutor Harry might be ready for y'all next week?? Below I'll give you a bit of a teaser!

And I've not really thought about doing a vampire Harry before. Maybe I'll consider it one day :)

I love all the questions! Thank you for asking hon! I'm also so grateful to you for supporting me on Patreon, even if you had to cancel. I understand things come up and sometimes it's necessary to put thing son pause for a bit. And yesterday I just posted part 7 of loveable rogue! He's kind of going through it right now but things will start to look up for our sweet babe :)

Okay! Now a short sex tutor!harry teaser below!!

. . .

“Well, I’m seeing this guy and,” you took a breath. It was embarrassing to say it so casually at a café on campus of all places. Harry reached toward you and placed his warm palm over the top of yours, “Hey, I know this feels weird. Doing this. I’m not going to pressure you to say it if you find it’s too uncomfortable but just know,” he dipped his head down to meet your gaze with his brows gently raised, “Everything you tell me here will be kept confidential and private. I’m not going to make fun of you or compare you to anyone else. If you change your mind, that’s okay too. I want you to feel like you’re talking to a friend. Okay? It’s up to you how much or how little you say. We move at your pace.” You let out the breath you were holding and smiled. He was so – nice. He made you feel so at ease. “Thank you. It’s weird. Yeah… but I think I’m okay. I want to do this. I want to be better at like,” you looked around yourself and lowered your voice as Harry moved his hand from yours and you settled your gaze back on his, “Better at giving blow jobs. And maybe like initiating more?” He nodded, “Okay. Have you ever given a blow job before?” You nodded, “Recently. The guy didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it so I didn’t know if I did something wrong.” He took a sip of his tea and his green irises bored into yours, “I can tell you one thing I know that is true for nearly every single straight male I know; they love getting head. Even if they aren’t vocal they probably really enjoyed whatever you did. Does that make you feel better about your skill level?” You puffed out a laugh and saw the smirk on his face. He was trying to get you to smile, “I don’t know. Probably. I’m sure I’m overthinking it but I just wanted… like I want to be really good. Want to know tricks to get a real response.” “Did the guy you’re seeing orgasm?” You nodded again. Harry’s grin softened, “Then you did as good as you could have. Goal achieved. He orgasmed and you made that happen.” “But I want to be better. Like… I really enjoyed what I was doing. Made me really… well…” you looked down at your empty mug and sighed, “I felt like I enjoyed it more than he did.” You watched Harry shift in his chair and look around the café before he looked back at you, “What are you doing right now? Like after this?”

xoxo

[ask-daves]

“is this on—sick, okay, yeah-“ a pale young man somewhere around the age of eighteen sits back in his chair, adjusting his TOTALLY SICK and IRONIC shades. they're ever so slightly too big for his face, but it gives the impression that he'll grow into them fully in a few years. he flicks his tongue over his lips before he speaks.

“i figured i’d get straight to introductions. none of the others,” he gestures behind him—his nails are painted a glossy black. “are home right now, and this was my idea, so.” he clears his throat. his face is kept carefully impassive, but beneath his desk, his foot is tapping. not that the viewers can tell. 

“yo. i’m dave.” he pauses. “since i’m the first one doing this, i get to keep the title of dave. ya snooze ya lose, you know?” there’s the slightest impression of a smirk on his lips. it’s gone when he speaks again. “i’m eighteen, and the author of SBaHJ. the *comic,* not the movies. that’s the other dave. you’ll know him when you see him.” 

a pause, brief enough to where the average viewer wouldn’t notice it, but long enough to give the impression of an awkward silence. 

“i also make dope-ass beats—strongly recommend listening to them—and i play a lot of games.” he shrugs. “all things considered, i’ve got pretty basic hobbies. i just do them better than anyone else, so,” it’s obvious that he’s joking to some extent, with the tilt in his tone. “i figure i shouldn’t spoil the deetz on how cool of a dude i am—give you guys a chance to get to know me, formulate your own opinions or whatever, so this is gonna be pretty short.” a snort. “i’m the author of SBaHJ. AMA. reddit style. i’ll walk down to walmart and steal a fedora off a homeless dude, or somethin’. stay tuned, or whatever."

"but seriously, send in questions. comments. i don't know, whatever y'all want. it's really up to you. except for like, dicks and puppets or whatever. ain't nobody wanna see that shit, ya feel?" a pause. "yeah. that's all, actually. i'll probably get DS to do one of these next. ciao."

[ursafootprints]

E, I, M, V, Y

c:

Aaaaaa you spoil me!!!

E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

HMMM I don't think there's a "most" necessarily! Neither Tony nor Peter is a character I super identify with just on the face of things, but there are individual traits that they have that I resonate with-- Tony's "gotta fix it (alone)" attitude, Peter's dorkiness and "gotta prove myself" drive, but those traits are expressed very differently in those characters than for me, haha.

The things that I identify most with for them in my fics are things that I put there through my various Situations rather than stuff they reflect in canon, lmao. I identify more with Peter in YNYD and with Tony in the Starkercest saga!

I: How many fandoms have you written in? Do you have a favorite?

Oh I counted this up one time! Assuming I'm not missing any from the actual fics/accounts being long lost to time, I've written for 14~16 fandoms:

Digimon

Inuyasha

Detective Conan

Fullmetal Alchemist

Gundam Wing

The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)

Cardcaptor Sakura

xxxHolic

X/1999 (unposted)

Yu-Gi-Oh!

di[e]ce

07-GHOST

Eyeshield 21

Chihayafuru

Ookiku Furikabutte (unposted)

MCU

Everything on that list that isn't MCU or The Outsiders is an anime/manga of widely varying levels of obscurity, haha. My favorite original work on the list is Cardcaptor Sakura, but my favorite fandom experience has been y'all here in Starker fandom! :P

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with? Did it turn into a story?

The weirdest AU I've ever come up with/written was the Tokyo Babylon-Starker fusion that @shivanessa and I are collaborating on! Because they drew some Peters and Tonys in the style of early CLAMP and I was immediately possessed by CLAMP Starker brainworms.

TB is a manga from the 90s written by CLAMP about a teenage medium tackling supernatural cases in Tokyo while being romanced by a kind and flirtatious much-older man… who secretly has very dark intentions for him. I might be the only person in the world that it appeals to but I am excited for it to be posting-ready!

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

Any time a reader has told me that my portrayal of trauma felt resonant/especially realistic/cathartic based on their own experiences-- it's one of those things where obviously I'm sad for anyone to have to have that in common with me, but I also know how important and special it can feel when you read something that really resonates with your own experiences, too, so I'm always very touched by those comments.

(Also, any time I end up writing a paragraph or straight-up essay of meta in response to a comment it means that they said something that I grabbed and ogled and rotated in my mind in delight, so those ones, too!)

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

It varies by fandom! I'm pretty much equally satisfied with everything I've written for Starker-- there's always stuff that I feel like I did really well, and stuff that I feel I could've executed better-- so it's a moot point there. But for Eyeshield 21, there for a while my most popular fic on that account by far was something I wrote when I was 13 and had only posted for archival reasons/a fun little stroll down memory lane, and until my multichap for the same ship overtook it I was a little jealous of my 13-year-old self!

Thank youuuu for all the questions! 😭💖💖💖😭

[hobbitsetal]

(Not OP anon), but can you expand your issue with grmm/GoT’s writing & worldview ?

I would love to! Let me add the caveat that 98% of what I know about GRRM's stuff comes from cultural osmosis. I read an excerpt of the first book and that's been my sole direct exposure to GoT.

But from what I understand about his work through cultural osmosis, he's the poster child for grimdark fantasy: fantasy that puts an emphasis on "gritty realism" and writes without ultimate hope or a sense of ultimate morality. His work is about a dog-eat-dog world, where death happens at any moment, where good doesn't necessarily triumph, and where the strong survive.

On one level, realism is a good thing for art to reflect. On another, and this is the level upon which I take issue with GRRM, art doesn't need to revel in the filthier sides of life.

From what I understand of GoT, both books and series parades the seediness of life in great detail. It wallows in the mud. It holds up filth and sordidness and says, "This is what life is like!" The noble characters die. The scheming, devious, evil characters win out until someone more devious manages to kill them. It's brutal and ruthless and violent in every way.

By way of contrast, let's talk about The Witcher. I've watched and tremendously enjoyed Netflix's show (though it is certainly not for everyone!). On the surface, it contains everything I list when I say I don't want to watch or read GoT: it contains explicit sexual material, lots of swearing, and lots of bloody violence.

But here's the difference: The Witcher also rests on a foundation of good versus evil and on hope. The titular Witcher, Geralt of Rivia, over and over chooses to do the hard thing, to protect life at personal expense. And he isn't always rewarded for it--in one episode, he saves a monster and turns it back into the human it should have been, and promptly gets bitten for his troubles--but he is always presented as right and heroic for his choices.

This is not to say he is above fault. He hurts others sometimes. He makes bad choices. He's surly and antisocial and can be a jerk. But he's also selfless. He chooses to help others. He chooses to seek the truth of a situation instead of accepting it at face value, even when the truth means he gives up a lucrative bounty and gets himself into trouble.

That's the heart of it, for me: The Witcher is about a man trying to do the good and right thing. GoT is about selfish people scrabbling for power at any cost and good people dying because they won't play that game, and that's presented as How Life Is.

Art should be about Truth, yes. And the truth is that life can be sordid and messy and ugly, yes. But from what I understand, GRRM presents that sordidness as all that life is. Life is all about politics and backstabbing and bloody revenge. And to that I say, no.

Early signs of civilization are the bones of the ancient dead that reveal societies that cared for the sick and injured. They're the grave of a child buried with its head on a pillow, laid to rest as if it were sleeping. They're the ancient myths and fairytales of the couple that's kind to a stranger and receives a reward from the gods.

And those signs and myths and fairytales have no place in GRRM's world. His is an inherently suspicious world, in which kindness is either naive stupidity or a ploy for some deeper nefarious purpose. I have no use for that worldview.

Bad things happen in The Witcher. One brutal event in the season 2 finale left me sick, physically and heartsick. All of the characters, even the heroic ones, have made choices and done things that I find wrong. But the heart of the story, the overall tenor of the story, is that of hope. Good is worth striving for, simply because it is Right.

Life has a lot of brutal and ugly things in it. But it also contains beauty and hope and people who will help strangers out of kindness or give up something they want for something they think is right. Ideals coexist with pragmatism and kindness lives alongside cruelty.

As GK Chesterton so perfectly put it, "Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”

GRRM doesn't tell us dragons can be killed. (Ignore plot events and focus on the metaphor.) And I believe dragons can be killed. That's my issue with him.

[heretherebedork]

The Battle Royale is back!! This time: Uke edtion 2.0: the comeback!! (This time: the battle is randomized and shuffled!)

Now who among here excretes the most uke energy? A gaybie? A soft uke? A perfect Uke? And the contestants are:

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

Pi vs. Gene

Tian vs. Pharm

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

Meen vs. Tine

Jin vs. Arthit

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Karl vs. Gavreel

Tutor vs. Knock

Mico vs. Jaime

Reb vs. Jim

Tong vs. Folk

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Chon vs. Mes

Masuk vs. Nuea

King vs. Third

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Chol vs. Xingsi

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Pao vs. Ake

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

Team vs. In

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

Frong vs. Duen

King vs. Sky (My Day)

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

Can vs. Techno

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

This time, anyone can play! Feel free to play this game! It's open to all!

I'd also like to dare @absolutebl and @raiko101 to try this one! Hehehe

and also: thank you @absolutebl for your posts! I also learned a lot from you! prolly half of these characters came from you so, yay thanks!

Goodluck!

Ahaha, wow, my anons are pulling in my mutuals? Again? My life is wild here, y'all. Yay Battle Royale Anon! How did you know I have time to kill before Golden Blood?

Also, this one is fascinating because how does one define uke? Because some of these characters might be bottoms but I wouldn't define them as ukes because ukes are typically the ones being pursued. So I've sort of been trying to figure that out and so some of these get some odd answers depending on the character. Is an uke defined as what most straight girls think of a bottom? Is an uke the character being pursued or who needs to be taken care of?

... Look, uke is an ever-evolving word, especially from when I first joined fandom. So it's very interesting!

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Adachi has to win this. I love Taekyung to death and he's my tiny gaybie but Adachi just... he's darling and small and he needs to be protected and pursued and he just... fits more of what I think of as an uke. Now, this is probably because this is a Japan (creator of the uke/seme dynamic as we know it) versus Korea (who really don't do strong seme/uke dynamics) thing rather than a character thing. Since uke really is in the relationship and not just the character...

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

It's Sky. Sky is a baby. Sky is absolutely baby. He's in need of so much love and care and protection. Although Tae Joo is close and he definitely needs it, it's in a different way. Plus, Sun is gonna take a bullet for Sky and I am an absolute sucker for that. But they're such good characters to contrast.

Pi vs. Gene

I gotta admit that I'm giving this to Gene. Now, this is because of the show. I want Gene to be taken care of by his love. I want Nubsib to love and care for Gene. I don't want Pi to be take care of. I want Pi to go be independent and pissy somewhere else without ever thinking about Mork again.

Tian vs. Pharm

Pharm had to win this. I love Tian, don't get me wrong. But Tian and Phupha have a different dynamics than Dean and Pharm. Dean and Pharm definitely lean more towards what I would consider a seme/uke relationship and, thus, Pharm wins. Also, tiny gaybie Pharm almost always wins.

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

This is so interesting because it's Taiwan vs Taiwan and they don't do the really strong seme/uke... but yeah, it's Shu Yi. Shu Yi 100%. Shi Lei is an uke but he's not as much of one as Shu Yi. Shu Yi is such a darling who just needs so much love.

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

It's Zhao Zi. Look, I adore Si Qi. He's a darling. But Zhao Zi is just gaybie energy x100 alongside abandonment issues and that sunshine over sadness energy is just A+.

Meen vs. Tine

This one is hard. They're both such ukes, such little gaybies... But I like Meen more, so I'm going with him. He was the bright spot in the show where Tine was, ironically, one of my least favorite characters in his show.

Jin vs. Arthit

I had to give this to Jin. He just loved being pursued so much and all the attention and the little gifts from Bbomb just made him so happy. He couldn't help himself. Arthit just didn't quite have that with Kongpob, as much as I love them together. Different vibes.

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Kit is basically the perfect example of a tsundere uke. Like, he is the platonic (lol) ideal. And I love him for that so much. He's definitely one of my favorite characters just in general and such a little tsundere uke he has to win.

Karl vs. Gavreel

This one is a bit harder. Ugh. Like, you could claim it for either one and also argue that neither one is exactly an uke... but I'm gonna give it to Gavreel. Mostly for levels of realism. Karl is just so realistic it's hard to call him an uke.

Tutor vs. Knock

Yeah, it's Tutor. He was tough as nails but he melted so nicely under Fighter's hands and just falls apart and gets sick without him and that's just... such an uke thing, okay? SUCH an uke thing.

Mico vs. Jaime

I had to go with Mico. I love Mico. He's such a darling and absolutely radiates gaybie in need of love energy at all times and I still desperately wish that Hello Stranger the movie had given him more of a chance at the end rather than a rush.

Reb vs. Jim

... It's Reb because Jim just annoyed me mostly. Also, Reb is tiny and adorable and has that super innocent gaybie energy that makes him a bit more real but also a bit more uke. I dunno, this is what I mean about the definition of uke. It's hard to pin down for me!

Tong vs. Folk

Look, I get it, I'm the only person who preferred IttPai to PureFolk. I GET IT. But that just means I'm gonna pick Tong because PokTong was the best pairing beside MarkKit and also holy shit sex and holy shit the love they share that they damaged and hurt so much together... ugh, uke energy be damned, I'm choosing my favorite.

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Yo is ultimate uke. He's such an uke is almost hurts. Like, he always wins this. Every time. No question or hesitation.

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Kit wins again. Because Kit is a tsundere uke and, frankly, 2moons2 Kit is even MORE of the perfect tsundere uke because he also melts. He melts so hard and so fast and it's adorable beyond belief.

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Sorry, Shi Gu, but Mon is such an uke. Like holy sheesh this boy. This most darling boy. He's tiny and gaybie and adorable and PORTABLE and yeah, he's super uke.

Chon vs. Mes

I'm gonna give it to Chon because he's just... a bit more? To me. He's more of an uke and I love him for it. Tough as nails uke boy with a lot of of darlingness. Yeah, just gotta go with my heart.

Masuk vs. Nuea

I might like Nuea more but I think Masuk has more uke vibes. They're still weak but they're there and I just gotta give it to my darling Masuk. He's so soft and needs so much love and a lot of care.

King vs. Third

Third is ultimate uke. Crying in a shower? Weeping over everything? Very protective friends? Yeah. YEAH. He wins this.

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Puth just isn't an uke to me. He's got different vibes. But Boss? Boss is an uke and adorable and he just wants to finally love Mek openly and honestly and just be held and goofy and ride on his back. And seriously, love the boy.

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Ugh, this is hard because I'm not 100% on how much an uke Kao (Oxygen) is and I don't really think about DBK ever... I'll give it to Oxygen. I love Oxygen and I miss Kao.

Chol vs. Xingsi

Xingsi wings this by being the most take over uke ever, the one who definitely wants to be spoiled but also knows exactly how he wants to be spoiled and isn't afraid to show it. Gotta love him.

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

I gotta give this to MuRen. CTL had almost no seme/uke energy but they definitely went harder in CTY. So... MuRen wins by virtue

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Screw you, they're both ultimate ukes. Everybody wins!

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

I had to go with Yeon Woo. Like, I had to. What a darling little uke who needed to be chased and needed to be convinced and needed to be saved from himself and the other people who love him.

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Lol, I had to go with Chance to Love because, like, look at that boy. He gave up everything in the hopes that his seme would be happy and just... what a tiny darling. Sadly, Hin didn't get any romance. So... outta luck, child.

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Obsessed is just all about the seme/uke dynamic. I had to give it to Yi Chen. Like, had to. Absolutely had to.

Pao vs. Ake

Neither are my favorites but I have to give the uke energy to Pao. Ake is adorable and all but Pao just radiates that 'I'm a baby take care of me' energy, especially as a ghost.

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Yu is the most uke uke to ever uke. Seriously. What a baby. And he's such an uke he has two semes fighting over him! You can't get much more uke than that, let's be honest.

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Look, I gotta be honest, I mostly just watch the Kongpob and Arthit scenes of SOTUS S. But also... Zon. Zon is puppy uke. He is tiny, tiny puppy uke and I cannot deny him that title. He deserves it.

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

I gotta give it to Typhoon. I still don't like that part very much and I just want to protect him from his boyfriend ignoring him and I think part of that is what makes him such an uke. I just want to protect him so badly.

Team vs. In

In's not an uke to me. But Team? I'm good with that. I can handle it. And he needs that care and that love. Also, as I say every time... Between Us must exist!

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Gui beats Ray by a hair. BARELY at all. But I just love Gui and his darling softness and just his everything... Ugh, Gui definitely has uke energy.

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

I gotta go with SangHa. What a darling boy. Type is great and all but their relationship is much more equal than anything else. And SangHa is just... this boy who needs to be loved and cared for and then to run alongside his boyfriend.

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

I gotta give it to Sheng Zhe. I love Shao Fei deeply but Sheng Zhe wins in terms of uke. Like, he's darling and family and sweet and full of love and I love him so much I cannot even.

Frong vs. Duen

Duen gets it, even if I view him as entire asexual and, frankly, more than a bit aromantic. I genuinely think he dislikes being in a committed relationship. But... uke energy? Yeah, he gives out more than Frong.

King vs. Sky (My Day)

King is way more uke than Sky because Sky isn't uke at all. My Day was amazing for having such no seme/uke dynamic, yo. But King? Yeah, he's got that energy with Ram.

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

I'm gonna give this to Minh Hoang. Because Ou Wen isn't uke energy for me. But Minh Hoang has some. Neither of these shows really does the seme/uke energy, honestly. But I can lean a bit more towards Minh Hoang.

Can vs. Techno

I'm giving it to Can despite the unconventional nature of his relationship with Tin and the maturity they show through the show. But I love Can and the want to care for him and I want to protect him. And the more I want to protect a character, the more I go with uke. (Not that I'm a seme, I'm just a sunshine puppy disguised as a person.)

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

I feel weird but I'm definitely giving it to Yu Zhen. I gotta. I can't help myself. He's such a darling young man who just needs to be taken care of by Shi Lei on every possible level. I mean, boy still doesn't know not to eat gummies. Seriously.

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

I have to give this to DaOn. I can't help myself. I get the same energy from Ga On but DaOn just sends me away with the need to protect him, seriously.

Holy shit that took me the entire length of The Boy Foretold by the Stars, fyi. BUT I DID IT.

[silky-rose-petals]

L'Manberg haters are really a bunch of spoiled brats who don't understand their own privilege or history aren't they :)

Lmao they rlly be treating the "war" as if L'Manberg vs Dteam is of equal sizes and not 4-5 people who are mostly builders and non-pvpers building a wall to keep themselves safe vs three of the strongest minecraft pvpers in that social circle. L'Manberg wanted to live peacefully inside their walls, almost like building a house and staying in it?? They even offerred to pay to leave it. The declaration of war was because Dream could not handle anyone questioning his "claim" as the owner of an almost infinite server, it was because of his entitledness to the land and to his control.

They really be saying "war is bad" and didn't understand why it is bad. Who is more at fault for war? People who started them? Who actually KILLED PEOPLE? Or people who are just responding and trying to keep each other safe? What is wrong with fighting for an ideal you believe in? Do they think all people/countries just go to war for fun? Do they want L'Manbergians to roll over and take the violence they had to deal with? If you say resistance isn't what L'Manberg should do, then I say violence is not what Sapnap and Dream should do, especially as a so-call rule-maker. Wilbur might have been an asshole for the whole drug van debacle, but maybe, have y'all considered? As an admin, there are better ways to deal with it? And with L'Manberg forming - due to Sapnap killing them and such - they had wanted to put an end to the dispute (in which the only side suffered any lost is L'Manberg themselves, mind you).

Not to mention the absolute American-centric view on war and patriotism? A country that has never been invaded since its formation (because its formation alone is built upon colonisation and invading occupied land lmao) has a different view on wars to a country that has been colonised/invaded. Dying for a America is dying to further colonisation, and yeah it's bad and it's on America that it's bad. But dying for a country that America, or any other big names, is self defense. Even if it's "voluntary", the war forced them to fight. It's a lose-lose situation. Is that smaller country "evil" for having to defend themself? (Also patriotism is not nationalism, get you fucking words straight). Like I said, and repeat: War isn't always born from two EQUAL SIDES. Get that into your thick skull.

And just because L'Manberg was a Hamilton RP it doesn't mean it's immediately evil because it cited American ideals. If you look at the ideals, they??? Aren't bad??? Do they understand why America formation was bad? Do they know why the America industrial military complex is bad? Or do they think Hamilton is an exact representation of America and not a santitised version of its gruesome history, made to appease the audience? Learn your own fucking history before you start using buzzwords you don't understand.

And the complete disregard of rights vs duties/responsibilities? A community cannot thrive when its people shirk their responsibilities toward their land and their people. And responsibilities mean sometimes, personal gain and safety should be put behind community wellness. "Sacrifices" isn't inherently bad, you can't have everything you want because if you do, something you want will infringe on other people's rights and then, there is no community. Do people think a community "demanding" some responsibility is "evil"? Do they think joining something means taking the benefits without certains give-backs??? Have they considered why people have to "sacrifice" in the first place??? When the forces that demands it comes from outside attacks? But the community they are protecting is at fault and "evil". What kind of black-and-white thinking is that?

If you cannot see that sometimes you have to be willing to fight and die for a cause, maybe it's time to check your privilege and why you or your generation didn't have to. Why you can live easy without thinking about it. Take a long, hard look at history and how people had to fight to be allowed to even exist, and come back to me with why the cause/community/country is evil because it was born in blood.

So literally :) shut up. Check your privilege. Learn your fucking history. Learn other countries history. And get out of here with that America-centric view <3

[kookie-doughs]

Beta Tester

Kozume Kenma X Reader

-YN LN is a popular mangaka

Chapter 16: Stage

Seeing you running towards him made Kenma frown.

"Kenma!" You waved. "Thank you for not leaving yet!"

Ignoring you he continued to walk towards the direction of the stage.

You pouted and crossed your arms. "You know... As sorry as I am for that kiss I really don't regret it."

Jogging up in front of him with a shit eating grin, you positioned yourself in front of him where he'd have no choice but to look at you while you looked at him. His ears were slightly red without a doubt but who were you kidding yours were too.

Kenma cleared his throat, "Good for you then. Now get out of the way so I could get out of here. "

"And honestly I liked that kiss." You continued determined to see him flustered again. "Your lips were soft and I bet my ass you're a great kisser. I rate you 10/10 would do it again."

With a glare he looked at you straight in the eyes, "So do it pussy." Then went ahead before you could see the red settling on his face.

"I- Wh- Excuse me- Wh- Huh? K-Ken- Kenma!!" You squeaked as you chased after him.

"I said what I said."

You finally caught up to him when he was about to climb the stairs towards the stage. Luckily(?) you also have to go up with him.

"Ehh... Where's the flustered Kenma? I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked. You looked so adorable. I don't want hot daddy Dom Kenma. I want cute baby sub Kenma..."

As he was halfway up the stairs your height gap grew and he was way over you. He just looked down on you, leaning closer the gap barely existent he smirked.

"Too bad." Then turned away.

There were a handful of people who saw the scene. Which made you more embarrassed. Holy shit you acted all alpha online only to be dominated by a hermit named Kozume Kenma.

Boy were you happy. You'd happily submit to him.

"Let us all welcome the two people who made the game possible! YN LN and Kozume Kenma!!"

You might be confused why you two were the ones going and why you were introduced like that.

As you are the creator of Puri-Puri you of course are the reason why this game existed.

But Kenma came here as he's the biggest investor, the face of the game and no one else wanted to go. So yeah...

As you two came up the stage you were just wishing the blush from the scene a few moments ago. The cameras flashed and claps were heard.

"Shit the media is here..." You mumbled.

"Your surprised, why?" Kenma gave you an amused and disappointed look. No idea how he managed to do that but he did.

"Shut the fuck up. I just got a feeling the questions won't be about the game thanks to the media."

"So you do think sometimes..."

"You want me to hit you?"

A clearing of throat behind you stopped your argument. It was Akaashi handing you both microphones to be clipped on you [I'm sorry I dont know what they're called] .

"Good luck, don't do and say anything stupid. And remember this is the release of PPM's demo." He reminded and got off the stage.

"Good evening to you all! I hope you've been having a great time!" I started.

"We'd like to thank you again for attending the release of PPM's demo."

"Now of course the game is yet to be played but from the trailer that was shown, I hope you had enjoyed it since the game is going to be much better than the trailer!"

"I'm sure you all must've questions as well. That's why Me and your idi-- dear author will answer."

"You definitely were about to call me idiot." You frowned at him.

He smirked and shrugged. "I have not a slightest idea what you mean."

"You're the worst."

Ignoring you... Again. He motioned at one of the reporters to probably ask their question.

"Ms. LN, as the initial plot of the Puri-Puri Magika is about [REDACTED], and the trailer we saw have quite a large difference from one another only having the universe in similarty. Is it just the universe of the similar one to the manga? "

"Of course the plot would be different. It disappoints me quite a bit that none of you realized how they're connected aside from the universe. Well, I don't really want to spoil you but if you actually read the Manga and saw the trailer," You gave a proud smirk. "Everyone that was a fan of PPM in the team were ecstatic. They were all just-" You mimicked a mind blown. "They were so excited about the game and a those."

"Thank you Ms. LN."

"Next please."

"Mr. Kozume," the next one called. "You were neither a fan of YN, nor PPM, why did you decide to not only beta test the game but sponsor and invest big sum of money on the game."

"We--"

"No wait ! I want to answer some of those questions!" You cut off cackling. "The one about him investing and him beta testing! It's actually an annoying and Hella funny story."

"No I was a--"

"Shut up you'll probably lie."

"Shut up." Kenma now had his ears red. "Don't you--"

"He was the biggest asshole back then!"

"Stop talking."

"He fucking beta tested despite not knowing shit about PPM because it was the biggest game. And he just banwagoned  on it like a bitch he was."

"I did not. I had some clues about you Manga."

"You did not know shit about PPM cut yo bullshit. You didn't even know who the MC was!"

"Shut up."

"That's why he beta tested! Now the reason why he invested is really hilarious!"

"I really hate this story..."

"This was the reason why Kenma became Bae too! We didn't know shit about how to contact Kenma, we only had his email address and his social media. Keep that in mind. "

"So since he didn't know shit about PPM he really couldn't care about the plot and just looked for bugs and shit. He wasn't even aware of the bugs in the plot since he didn't know which what was supposed to be part of the plot and not. This bitch ass decided there wasn't any bugs anymore so we went with that. But then we had to play it and saw a shit ton of bugs."

"I said there were some bugs don't make me seems so stupid."

"You didn't even inform us about the glitch at the time skip part! That could've ruined the entire thing! Anywayz, so we had to code the game again. So we emailed him that there were way too many bugs other than what he told us so the next testing would be later. But the asshole never replied. And since I was the one entasked to guide this bitch ass, I  had to flood his email! And he didn't respond! Not once! It had been DAYS! I send him at least 20 emails everyday! I have up on the 3-4th day and DMed him on Twitter."

"I really hate this part."

"No. No. This is the best part. Do y'all remember that one trending #KodzuGone started by Tenma? It's because, this asshole never responded to our emails so I DMed him all the shit important shit in the emails. Then this bitch fucking blocked me! I fucking rante to Tenma and he canceled Kenma like he deserved to! I was panicking about it since Mr. Suzumiya told me that Kenma could be a potential investor if he wanted. And I needed cash... "

"Do not call me that publicly. You are disgusting."

"He went full sugar daddy on me!" You cackled. "His entire squad had betrayed him! They were canceling him so he just fucking slid into my DMs apologizing about the shit he did and I told him, bitch I'm coming over there and see you play this fucking game or I will not stop this canceling and make it worse. So he was forced to telll me his address and I'm not sure if yall saw the live but it was hot shit. The next day he bought all the copies of PPM at this one store and gave them to me and then he invested shit ton of money on my on going works, bought me a new tablet, paid my Keiji bills, and many other shit. Yall would die to have him as sugar daddy I'm telling you. Ya don't even have to give him sugar for the treats. "

"That was the biggest mistake I made."

"Awwe, but thanks to that we're closer than ever. "

"Exactly my point."

"Thank you for answering Ms. LN."

"I hate you so much." Kenma sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No you don't. Admit it you love me."

"I really don't. Next question please."

"A-Ah, my initial question was actually answered in the previous question. It about your live. Now my question is, Ms LN and Mr. Kozume, is your relationship really a platonic one or a romantic one? "

"Okay, babe," You chuckled. "my man won't even let me breathe the same air he does. Ya think we're dating?"

"Well your right."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?! " You exclaimed a little louder than you thought since the mic made a loud noise.

"The relationship we have is both platonic and romantic. As labels aren't placed we share a romantic relationship." Kenma smirked.

You looked at him and the crowd with a clear eminent blush. "I-I I- Wh-"

Pulling you closer to him and turning around so the crowd won't see you both. He lowered the mic to prevent them from hearing.

"I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked . You look adorable." He whispered to your ear before facing the crowd again who were now going crazy over what Kenma had just confirmed.

"Y-You're an asshole..."

"Yeah, an asshole who..." lowering his mic again he leaned to your ear. "Still has your favorite onsie at his place. You really shouldn't have left it at my place. I'm so tempted to burn it."

"You leave my onsie alone! I will drown your consoles."

"With that threat, you're suddenly stripped of your house visit privileges."

"W-Why would you say we're dating?!"

"I didn't. I just said we both share a romantic and platonic relationship with no labels. I technically didn't lie too."

"Why did you do this?"

"Aside from wanting to see you all flustered? I'm probably drunk." Kenma smiled and turned to the crowd again. "Next question please."

Previous | Masterlist | Next

I'm sorry lately there's been to many words and less pictures it's just that... Idk

Lol I'm sorry this was supposed to be smau but there's been too many words

Ooc Kenma is shit so I made him drunk

-kookie-doughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @synx-ed @normalisthenewnorm @0majuh0 @leachann @nikanikabitch @almondeupeach @immxnty @mer-majesty @yamayoomi @simpingoveranime-men @lostmarimoismyhubby @mariishat @just-snog-already

[mallowstep]

I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)

hello anon!

alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.

as for your ask,

hymns?

i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.

culture

alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.

windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)

i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.

moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.

tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.

whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.

i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.

(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)

anyway.

this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.

early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.

general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.

i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.

poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.

obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.

names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.

clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.

general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.

i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.

alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.

windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.

they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.

god i should reread dotc it's good.

alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.

we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.

the wind

the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.

The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.

i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.

anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.

they are the wind, and that's that.

the hare

okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza

Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.

okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.

i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.

(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)

now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.

a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.

it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"

of the warrens

so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.

And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.

and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.

the moon on the river

okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.

Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.

now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.

and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.

i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.

(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")

the gorse in the wind

oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.

the series title does not come from this hymn.

second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.

this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.

okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.

okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."

so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.

anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:

In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.

so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.

okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.

then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.

i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.

right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.

it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.

like a lot.

okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.

the heather and earth

okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):

Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.

and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.

but these lines? mmm they speak to me.

i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.

if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.

i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.

god.

uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.

and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.

but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.

[everwitch-magiks]

dance with somebody (ch. 25)

start from ch. 1 | back to ch. 24

"Oh lord," Bitty whispers to himself. "Oh my goodness."

How long has it been, since the first time he stood in front of the Samwell hockey Haus with a pie in hand, just like this? Four and a half years? No, even longer. Goodness gracious.

He's been able to visit from time to time, since graduation. Providence is close, after all, and the Samwell team will always hold such a dear place in Bitty's heart. It's just, usually, he's come down to watch a game, and always together with Jack. They've stopped by the Haus, of course, have made their rounds and tried to catch up with everyone. Besides, it's not like they don't see many SMH members, former and current, at various other social occasions every so often.

But it's just… Bitty loves coming back to Samwell with Jack, loves reconnecting with their important people and places together. Yet even so, Bitty's relationship with his former teammates isn't quite the same, with Jack added to the equation. Not that going back to the Haus with Jack is bad, or uncomfortable, or anything in between. Not at all. It's just…

Senior year, Bitty became captain. The boys all chose him. Stepping into that role, and leading them through that grueling season, through those excruciating, exhilarating, endless playoffs all the way to actual championship victory, is something that still means more than Bitty can put into words. It was everything. And Jack was there for all of it, yes, he supported Bitty through all of it – without Jack, Bitty isn't sure if he would've held himself together until the end. But while Jack was there, he wasn't there. It wasn't his team.

It was Bitty's.

It's not something that Bitty thinks of as a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the truth. And it probably says something that, when Bitty had hesitantly told Jack that he'd been thinking about making a visit to Samwell on his own, Jack had been completely unsurprised. In fact, Jack's smile had been so knowing, he'd almost looked a little bit smug.

"Of course, Bits. You tell your boys hello from me. Don't spoil them with too much pie, eh?"

Bitty adjusts his bowtie, a little wearily. Gosh. He's actually nervous, isn't he? He has literally no reason to be. It's just the boys, his boys. His home away from home. They'll be happy to see him. Won't they?

Maybe turning up unannounced was a bad plan.

"Bits?"

Bitty almost jumps, he's so startled.

Thankfully, it's just Dex.

"Morning!" Bitty tries for cheerful. It almost works. "I was in the neighbourhood, so. Thought I'd pop by for a bit."

"It's so good to see you, man." Dex is grinning widely as he goes in for a hug. Bitty somehow manages to balance his pie and wrap one arm around Dex, simultaneously. "How long can you stay?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose too much, I'm sure y'all are swamped with homework and practice and-"

"Don't be an idiot. Everyone's gonna be so psyched to see you." Dex's grin softens. "Actually, today, we're-"

"Bitty!"

"Holy shit, Bits!"

"Pie!"

Bitty can't help his smile as Nursey, Tango and Hops tumble out of the Haus. It's debatable, whether or not Nursey has actually managed to put shoes on.

"Careful," Dex mutters as he swiftly takes the pie out of Bitty's hands. "Got your back, there you go."

It's just in time before Bitty is engulfed in something that feels so much like a celly, his heart actually aches.

"Goodness, I've missed y'all." Bitty smiles helplessly. "My, Hops, were you always this tall?"

"Probably," Hops says. He grins widely. "Maybe you just got tinier? Even more itty-bitty."

"Hey, now!" Bitty exclaims. He's grinning, too. Somehow, he has a feeling he'll be doing little else, today. "I'll have you know I'm a perfectly respectable height, Jonathan."

"Come on!" Tango is literally tugging at Bitty's arm in excitement. "This is such perfect timing, we were just-"

"Holy shit. Isn't that Bitty? Hey, everyone, Bitty's here!"

There's the unmistakable sound of a hoard of hockey players sprinting down several flights of stairs, and that's only the calm before the storm.

It takes well over half an hour before Bitty actually makes it inside the Haus.

His heart feels pleasantly warm as he steps into the familiar kitchen. Dex has set his pie to the side of a counter, his aunt’s old curtains are still hanging in the window and someone has managed to keep those plants on the windowsill alive. There's even a couple of succulents that Bitty doesn't quite recognise. Evidently, Bitty's housekeeping ambitions are actually being honored.

Most importantly, though, the kitchen is absolutely bustling with activity.

"We're having a deluxe team breakfast," Chowder is telling him enthusiastically. "Or, well, sort of a team brunch. Except, it's more brunch and lunch, really-"

"And snacks!" someone chimes in. It takes Bitty a second to remember his name – Joseph Lyons, one of the so-called Scones. Bitty has met all of the freshmen before, and he's tried his best to be his usual, charming self and make an approachable impression, but there's certainly something of an endearing flush on the boy's cheeks as he speaks directly to Bitty. "We're actually making baked potato bites, soon as Whiskey's done with the oven. I hope you'll like them!"

"Oh, that's exciting! I'm sure they'll be delicious."

Bitty offers Joseph a somewhat distracted smile. Whiskey? The oven?

He looks further into the kitchen, and… Yes. There's Whiskey. He's mixing something in a bowl, and listening to a boy next to him. A boy who is prattling on about something as he chops vegetables, his brown eyes bright with excitement.

A decidedly unfamiliar boy.

"Hey, Ocean," Nursey says – the boy looks up. "Can I borrow that knife, when you're done?"

"Do we want Derek Nurse with a sharp object in hand?" Ocean asks, just a bit too loudly. He grins as the kitchen at large provides a good round of chirps in agreement. "How about you hand me those tomatoes, Nursey, and I'll take care of them for you."

Bitty watches the boy for a moment longer, his brows slightly furrowed. Ocean seems to fit in quite seamlessly. Did he recently transfer from another school? Or did Bitty somehow actually manage to forget a Scone?

"Hey. Bits."

Whiskey has looked up. For some reason, he's watching Bitty with a certain level of apprehension. Bitty quickly offers him a bright smile.

"It's good to see you," he offers, because it truthfully is. "Jack says hello, by the way."

Whiskey smiles, too.

"Tell him I said hi. I hope you're finding the Haus in a decent enough state?"

"Oh, you best be taking special care of my old room, too," Bitty chirps good-naturedly. "I hope it's to your liking, and all?"

"For sure. You can head up and take a look, if you'd like that trip down memory lane." Whiskey's suggestion sounds surprisingly sincere. "You know the way. Door's unlocked."

"Oh," Bitty says. It hasn't been on his list, exactly, but now that it's being offered… "You know, I'll actually take you up on that."

Whiskey nods towards him, once, before returning his attention to his bowl.

Stepping into his old room feels more than a little bit surreal. It's familiar, of course, but also very different. Whiskey clearly keeps it quite neat – the bed's been made, and it's not too cluttered, overall. There's a Samwell banner pinned to the wall and two eye-catchingly colorful yet discreetly minimalist posters above the desk. It all fits in well with how Bitty remembers Whiskey, on and off the ice – here lives someone with a good amount of discipline, and a simultaneous desire to stand out, and fit in.

On the desk, there's a framed picture of the team from last year's championship victory that Bitty can't look at without getting a lil’ teary eyed. He directs his attention out the window, instead. Unsurprisingly, the view is just the same as ever.

"Changed the decor a bit."

Bitty looks over his shoulder. Whiskey is leaning against the doorway, his hands in his pockets. There's a bit of flour dusted over his sweater in a way that Bitty has no idea how to chirp him for. His expression is almost entirely unreadable.

"It's nice," Bitty tells him carefully. Gosh. This shouldn't be so frightfully awkward. "You look well, Whiskey."

"I'm doing alright." Whiskey steps a bit further inside the room. "Actually, I'm doing better."

"Oh." Bitty tries to smile. Is he supposed to offer a follow-up question? Is this a heart to heart, or small talk? "That's… That's nice to hear."

"Excuse me, sorry." Suddenly, unexpectedly, that boy from before pops in. Ocean. He goes straight for a backpack that's sitting on the chair by the desk. "Just need my charger. I'll get out of your way."

"No, wait," Whiskey says quickly.

The boy stills. There's a moment of eye contact between the two of them that Bitty can't seem to interpret.

"You two should meet."

Whiskey turns back towards Bitty. Slowly, and very deliberately, he places an arm around the other boy's waist.

"Bitty, this is Miguel."

Oh, sweet Mary.

Bitty looks between the two boys, blinking slowly. Of course. Of course.

"Hello." Evidently, Miguel has taken it upon himself to fill out the silence. His smile is, quite frankly, lovely. "Eric Bittle, right? I've heard so much about you."

"Oh, sugar, it's wonderful to meet you." Bitty has recovered enough to extend a hand. He's beaming, and it's probably ridiculous, but he can't quite bring himself to care. "My goodness. Hi. Are you a junior?"

"That's right." Miguel seems to take his enthusiasm in stride. He gamely shakes Bitty's hand. "Me and Whiskey had a class together, this fall."

"And now I can barely get you alone for a minute, given how the whole Haus has collectively adopted you." Whiskey doesn't sound at all bothered by this turn of events. He's got his hands back in his pockets, and he looks quite a bit more relaxed than before Miguel came in. "The Waffles are literally going to all of your games."

"Well, so are you," Miguel says, with a fond smile towards Whiskey. He quickly turns back to Bitty, though. "I'm on the water polo team."

"Isn't that something," Bitty says. And then it clicks. "Oh. Ocean, right?"

"Right." Miguel grins. "We don't really do nicknames in water polo, at least not the same way you lot insist upon, but it's actually-"

"Hey, Ocean!" 

There's someone in the doorway. It's… A Scone. One of the Scones. Bitty really must try to visit more often. The Scone looks between the three of them, his expression mildly confused, before he states his business.

"Joyo and Jader need your advice on their potato-ricotta experiment."

"I'll be right there."

Miguel glances at Whiskey for a second, and there's another moment of silent communication. Then Whiskey nods.

Miguel offers Bitty another smile.

"I'm sure we'll have the chance to talk some more, but I believe I really must see to those potatoes.”

His hand touches Whiskey's briefly on his way out. Bitty would never have noticed, unless he'd known to look for it.

Unexpectedly, Whiskey closes the door behind Miguel. He turns back towards Bitty.

For a second, they just look at one another.

"He, uh." Suddenly, Whiskey seems flustered. "He's great. So great."

"I'm glad." Bitty has rarely meant something so much in his entire life. "Am I right to assume that the team doesn't know?"

"That's right." Whiskey actually looks a bit apprehensive. "We don't… I'm not out to my family. Or to many of my friends."

"I'm just so happy that you're happy." Bitty smiles. "And, can I… He's kind of unfairly pretty, isn't he?"

Bitty would never have guessed that Whiskey could smile so gently.

"Yeah. Honestly, he's kind of everything."

"Oh, Connor." Bitty wants to hug him. That would probably be a little much. "Aren't y'all just too sweet."

"I would, um." Whiskey hesitates. He starts over. "Could you not tell Jack?"

Oh.

Bitty feels surprised. And, surprisingly, just a little bit pleased. It's been somewhat unsettling, figuring out bits and pieces of Whiskey's current life through Jack, watching the two of them connect in a way that Bitty was never able to no matter how hard he tried. Still, he's grateful to Jack for trying to help Whiskey, and even more grateful to him for succeeding. Really, he is.

But it's honestly nice to know that Whiskey trusts him with this. To know that, when it comes to this, Whiskey actually trusts him more. Maybe it shouldn't matter, but if Bitty is completely honest with himself, it does.

"Of course." Bitty smiles. "Honestly, I'm so happy you even wanted me to know."

"I did. I really did." Whiskey runs a hand through his hair. "Bits, you… You must know that I have a lot of respect for you."

Bitty stares at Whiskey. He looks so earnest, and there's a depth to his words that Bitty already knows he will always remember. It's one of those moments in life.

"Thank you," Bitty says warmly. "You know, I've never wanted to make you feel like you need to make choices that aren’t right for you. That you’re not comfortable with."

"No, I know." Whiskey shakes his head. "You haven't made me feel that way. I've struggled with this for a lot of other reasons, I guess. The narrative is always about coming out."

"It is. And that's something I've certainly contributed to."

Whiskey actually smiles.

"Sure. But more than that, you've… I've been in this sport for years. And with everything that's happened with you, and with Jack, it's… There's a before and an after. Things are better."

"Oh. That's… Oh." Gosh, Bitty might actually be tearing up a little. When, exactly, did Whiskey grow up so much? "I'm so glad you think so."

"I believe it goes a little beyond my personal opinion," Whiskey says plainly. He's still smiling. It is, quite frankly, unsettling. "Should we, um. I think the Scones might die a little if you helped them with those potatoes. In a good way."

"Oh, I'd love to cook with those sweet boys." Bitty manages a slight grin. "You know… I almost thought Miguel was a Scone, too. Your boy's not really built for hockey, but he just fits in so well, I didn't know what to make of him."

"You sure you wanna talk about being built for hockey?" Whiskey chirps. He sounds almost playful. "I wouldn't, if I were you."

"Hey, now," Bitty admonishes cheerfully. "What happened to having lots of respect for me? Let's go back to that."

"Why don't we go back to the kitchen, instead?" Whiskey suggests. "I kind of need to check on the oven."

"Of course," Bitty agrees quickly. Obviously, the oven needs to take priority. "Is there, um, any chance you could remind me which Scone is Jader? I think I know, but…"

"Jaden Brant," Whiskey supplies readily. "Tall one. In your defense, he's pretty much joined at the hip with Joyo."

"He is, isn't he? Those two…?"

Whiskey smiles.

"Yeah. Those two." He looks away for a moment. "And that's… They're coming in as freshmen, immediately knowing they'll be accepted. No hesitation."

"That's so wonderful."

Whiskey looks at Bitty again.

"You did that," he says simply. "You know that, right?"

"No, I'm…" Dear lord, he's going to cry again. "Their decision to be open can't be only because of little ol' me. It can’t.”

"Maybe not only," Whiskey concedes. "But they chose Samwell for a reason. They knew they'd be safe here."

"Well. That is nice." Bitty wipes at his eyes. "Dear me, I'm… We should… Oven?"

Whiskey nods. His expression is soft in a way that Bitty can't quite put into words.

"Come on. There are literal and figurative scones to attend to."

As they're leaving the room, Bitty feels brave enough for one final, careful question.

"You actually bake?"

"I know," Whiskey says. He sounds… Relaxed. Content, even. "It's not bad. Feels like I'm doing something nice for everyone. You know?"

"Yes," Bitty agrees eagerly. This day is already turning into so much more than he could ever have hoped for. "Believe me, Whiskey. I know."

ch. 26

[silver-wield]

Fan fiction dork is back again. This is long.

"No!"

The flat refusal made Aerith pull a face and roll her eyes. "Such a mood." She turned towards Tifa, stationed over by the grill and asked, "How do you put up with him?"

Tifa glanced up, a questioning look on her face. "Huh?" Her gaze went from Aerith to Cloud, who had his arms folded and was staring at her like he expected back up. She shrugged one shoulder and went back to staring at the burgers sizzling away. "He's got his charm," she replied in a light voice.

When Aerith glanced at Cloud she caught the tail end of a smug smile. "You're so easily pleased when you wanna be," she teased, poking his bicep.

Cloud leaned away and scowled. "Is there a reason you're here?"

Aerith's eyes widened. "Wow, rude." She looked around the new Seventh Heaven and smiled. The people of sector seven really loved Tifa. They rebuilt the whole bar by the time the group returned to Midgar. Even better, they added a daytime cafe where Aerith could help out and spend time with her bestie. "I'm here to collect on a date," she said with an evil grin.

Cloud choked and turned to look at Tifa. "What!?"

Aerith would've bet all the flowers in her garden that he was hoping she hadn't heard that. Letting him hang in suspense for a moment longer than she had to, she finally put Cloud out of his misery by saying, "Tifa and I have a date in sector eight later." She was evilly amused at the sigh of relief from him. Leaning closer and ignoring how he moved away, she added, "Did you forget I have a boyfriend? Zack doesn't like you enough to share." She giggled when she spotted Cloud's face turning red.

"Quit it!" He got up and went to sit at the counter.

He's such a kid. Aerith shook her head and smiled fondly at his back.

Tifa looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "You okay?"

"I've been better," he replied, shooting Aerith a dirty look.

Tifa sighed. "Can I trust you two to play nice while I call everyone in?"

"Tifa--!" Cloud pouted.

"Sure thing!" Aerith waved Tifa's concerns away.

"Great. Be right back." With a friendly nod, Tifa swiftly plated the food, set it on the counter ready for pick up, and came through the swing door. On her way out, she paused beside Cloud and laid her hand on his back. "Be nice," she whispered in his ear in a teasing tone.

"I'm doing my best," he replied, a small smile appearing and disappearing like lightning. With Tifa so near, Cloud took the chance to sneak a swift kiss on her cheek, leaving her blushing and biting her lip.

"Be right back," she repeated in a soft voice, before jogging out of the bar.

Aerith clasped her hands together. "You two are so adorable!"

Cloud pulled a face and rolled his eyes.

"I told you she was someone special," she went on.

"You want a medal?" he asked, half joking.

"You got a medal?"

"Nope." He got up and started moving plates to a long table set up that morning.

Aerith watched him move with methodical precision. Even a casual black t-shirt and blue shorts couldn't hide his natural grace. Nothing Cloud did was without purpose. He used words sparingly before he was himself again, but Aerith half-expected him to become more chatty afterwards. She hadn't realised Cloud was Cloud, just a little less moody, more obviously kinder and even more stupidly in love with Tifa. She supposed that kindness was the reason she and Zack survived in the end, despite what she did to fate. She wanted him to live so badly, she defied the will of the planet. But, as she said to Cloud that night in her dream, everyone dies eventually. Whether she and Zack have years, months, weeks, days or less together before that happens, they still have so many moments more than what they did before. She was more happy now than she can remember being in her entire life. She has a life and can laugh with the people she loves. She has friends and Zack. She has Cloud and everyone else to thank for it. Tears gathered in her eyes and she swiftly brushed them away.

Not swiftly enough.

"You good?" Cloud paused between the bar and table.

Aerith gave him a bright smile. "Sure am!"

He raised a doubtful eyebrow, but didn't pry further.

Aerith ducked her head and laughed to herself. Cloud never cared enough about her to want to dig deeper. And she never trusted him enough to want to share. Not like Zack. That was who she'd been so desperate to see in him when they first met, but it was all too obvious she was deluding herself when the way he acted wasn't anything like Zack. Not deep down, anyway. A few similar poses, a uniform and mako infused eyes didn't turn Cloud into her one true love. She flushed with guilt and shame thinking about the way she acted. Did I ever apologise for that? "You know, Cloud," she began, finding she couldn't look at him.

"Yeah, I know Cloud," he said, stopping a foot away from her and crossing his arms.

When Aerith looked up she saw a friendly smile on his face. She laughed and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Cloud frowned. "For what?"

"For not being all that nice to you when we first met." She pulled on her bangs, using the physical pain as a focus. "I was...trying to make you someone you weren't. Someone you could never be."

"S'alright," he replied, shrugging it off. "I was, too."

Aerith looked at him then and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you were." She laughed. They both missed Zack so much they fooled themselves. But now they didn't need to because he was here. Alive. With them.

Cloud nodded. "So, we good?" He turned to grab the last of the plates.

Aerith felt lighter. "Yeah. We're good."

"I spy an angel." Zack greeted Aerith with a broad smile as he entered the bar, using the shirt he held to wipe his sweaty face. "You should have joined us, Cloud. Barret kicked the ball at Red, so he burst it with his tail!" He laughed and shook his head.

"Maybe later," Cloud replied, shrugging. Exercising in hot weather reminded him of pointless drills Heidigger made the grunts do until they dropped.

"What? Not a fan of team sports?" Zack headed straight for Aerith and squatted a little. He tapped a finger to his cheek and said, "To the victor goes the spoils."

Aerith laughed and put her hands on her hips. "Oh, I'm a prize now, am I?"

He turned his head to meet her eyes. "Absolutely, yes."

Cloud snorted and turned his back on them, muttering, "Weirdos."

Aerith giggled and playfully pushed Zack. "Oh, you!" As Zack rocked backwards Aerith grabbed his hand and pulled him to her. She wrapped both arms around his waist and hugged him tight. "Ew, you're all sweaty."

"Ah, sorry," he said, stroking her hair. "It's really hot out today. You guys made the smart choice staying inside." He tried to untangle her from him, but she held on tighter.

"It's okay," she buried her face against his bare chest, "I don't mind."

Zack kissed the top of her head.

Tifa re-entered the bar, followed by Barret, who had Marlene on his shoulder, Red, Yuffie, Cid, Vincent, Biggs and Wedge, who carried Cait Sith. "Great, everyone's getting along," she said, smiling at Cloud.

"You were only gone five minutes," he replied, a smile tweaking one corner of his mouth up. "How much trouble do you think I can get into?"

She leaned forward and smiled. "Lots."

Barret let out a gut busting laugh. "She's gotcha there!" He jiggled Marlene until she giggled. "Right, baby?"

"Uh huh, yeah!" Marlene nodded and wagged a finger at Cloud. "You're trouble, so you gotta let Tifa look after you!"

Cloud nodded, a serious look on his face. "Yes, ma'am."

Marlene giggled and Tifa smiled.

"Why's this boy such a goddamn fool, would someone tell me that?" Cid barged past everyone and took a seat at the table. "Well, we eatin' or not?" He slapped a hand on the tabletop.

Tifa looked flustered for a moment, then saw the food laid out ready.

"Maybe if the rest of you losers get to the table!" Yuffie mocked from her seat.

Zack's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "When did she--?" He stepped back from Aerith and put his shirt on, much to her disappointment.

"Ninja!" Yuffie gave him a finger gun salute and winked.

"Okay, everyone, let's sit down and eat before the food gets cold." Tifa urged with a cheerful smile.

"You know I don't need to eat," Vincent muttered, though he sat anyway.

"I appreciate the adaptation," Red said, perching on a footstool.

"You guys are family, and family eats together," Marlene said, wagging a finger at them both.

"You heard her, and nobody argues with Marlene," Biggs said, taking a seat beside her.

"I'm starving! If Vinny doesn't wanna eat I'll have his!" Wedge gave Vincent a huge smile.

"That's not my--"

"He'll still do it," Cloud said, interrupting him.

"Aww, thanks for sticking up for me, bro." Wedge targeted Cloud with an even larger smile.

Cloud gestured at him and said, "See?"

Vincent snorted, but pushed his plate over to Wedge.

"Okay, who wants drinks?" Tifa moved to stand behind the bar and grabbed a cocktail shaker.

"Ooh, can you teach me how to make something?" Aerith bounced up from beside Zack and darted over to Tifa.

"Uh, sure, I guess." Tifa smiled and nodded. "What do you want to drink?"

"Can you make a pink one?" Zack asked, turning in his seat and resting his forearm on the back.

"Pink isn't a flavour," Cloud joked, also turning around. His gaze locked with Tifa's. "Something sweet?"

"Oh, how about grapefruit!?" Aerith bounced on her toes.

Tifa looked at Aerith and tipped her head to one side. "But...that's not sweet?"

"I didn't ask for sweet, he did." She grinned and jabbed a thumb over her shoulder towards Cloud.

"Aerith likes drinks with a kick." Zack frowned thoughtfully. "Pineapple?"

Aerith clapped her hands together. "Yes!" She half turned and blew Zack a kiss. "You know me so well."

Zack looked stupidly pleased at her praise.

"Can y'all hurry it up. Feels like you're taking forever for just one drink." Barret gestured as he spoke. "People dyin' of thirst over here."

"Ah, sorry!" Tifa ducked her head.

Cloud got up. "I'll give you a hand." As he walked towards the swing door separating the front of the bar from the back, he said over his shoulder, "Beer good for everybody?" It's what they'd get even if they said no. A round of murmurs had him nodding.

"And juice for the kids," Cid added. "Two cups."

"Hey! I'm not a kid!" Yuffie huffed and crossed her arms.

"You're pouting like one." Biggs reached across the table to poke her cheek. "You look twelve."

Yuffie leaned back and stuck her tongue out at him.

Biggs chuckled. "And now you look like a ten year old."

As those around the table laughed, bickered and joked, Cloud moved around them and placed drinks within reach. He then went back to the bar, where Tifa, Aerith and Zack were still discussing cocktail combinations that included a bunch of fruit he'd never heard of. He felt like he couldn't contribute, so sat and watched Tifa. A slap on the back jolted him from his thoughts and he automatically scowled at the culprit.

"Woah, what'd I ever do to you?" Zack acted hurt, then chuckled. "Looks like you had something important on your mind," he said in a low voice. "Wanna talk?"

Cloud grimaced and half-turned away from the girls, just in case Tifa overheard. "Not really."

Zack put his hands on his hips and laughed. "You know, for a minute there I thought you changed, but I guess you'll always be the same Cloud." He ruffled Cloud's hair until Cloud slapped his hand away.

"Cut it out. It's not like that," he said, glancing at Tifa again.

"What?" Zack laid a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Trouble in paradise?" He put on his best confidant expression. "Need some dating advice?"

Cloud shook his head and replied in a low voice, "It's been three months since, you know..."

"Sephiroth found his promised land, Jenova dissolved and we won it all?" Zack said this in a light tone, but tears still gathered at the corner of his eyes. The Sephiroth he knew wasn't the one Cloud hated for so long. He couldn't feel victorious about losing a good friend. Though that friend seemed lost for a long time, at the very end Sephiroth smiled like the man Zack remembered. He found himself again, and peace. Angeal and Genesis better be looking out for you over there. He blinked away the tears and focused on Cloud. "Yeah, so...?"

Cloud drew in a deep breath and let it out. "So, how long is long enough?"

Zack frowned. "For what?" He tried not to think too far ahead. Aerith already explained the planet could take them both back at any time, so he lived from moment to moment, never taking anything for granted. He had a home in sector five with Aerith and Elmyra, friends, his life and the freedom to choose what he wanted to do with the time he had. He was overflowing with gratitude and good cheer. And he'd promised some of that time would be spent helping Cloud not be such an insecure dork around the love of his life. Three months of dating and he still thinks she isn't as crazy about him as he is her. Zack wished Cloud could see the look on Tifa's face whenever he wasn't paying attention to her, scant as those moments were. It made Zack feel like a voyeur, and Aerith laughed hysterically when he said it because she felt the same.

Cloud sighed again. "Forget it."

"Has anyone ever told you that you think too much?" He patted Cloud on the back.

"No, Aerith, wait, the lid isn't--!"

Too late. Aerith turned the blender on and pink liquid sprayed up in an impressive geiser, tossing lumps of fruit in its wake.

"Tifa!" Cloud vaulted the bar and tried to get her out of the way.

Tifa cringed and tried to duck, but somehow both ended up covered, despite Cloud blocking the worst of it.

"Oops!" Aerith put her hands up and shrugged. Despite being the one to turn the blender on, she didn't have a speck of drink on her pink top or white skirt. She shot Zack a split second wink and he smothered a laugh.

"That's one way to help," he said to her in a low voice.

Cloud scowled to himself, then looked at Tifa. "You okay?"

She tried not to smile at how the juice flattened his hair. Reaching slowly, she picked a piece of pineapple clinging to his cheek and put it on the side. "Yeah, thanks."

Cloud stared into her eyes until they were all he could see. "Tifa, I--"

"You guys okay?" Wedge half rose from his seat before Barret and Biggs shoved him back down.

"Dummy!" Cait Sith hopped onto the table and hit him with its megaphone.

"Ow! Hey, what did I do!?" The ow was for show, Wedge had an indestructible body thanks to Hojo's "helpful" interference after he fell from the Shinra building. He was lucky to be more than a splat on the sidewalk, but that didn't make him grateful to the monster who made him.

"Gonna need to go wash up," Barret said to Tifa and Cloud. "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine by ourselves for a bit."

"Yeah," Aerith added, circling around them both and pushing them towards the stairs. "Better get that out of your hair before you have to cut it off."

Tifa drew in a sharp breath. "Right." She stopped and looked at the mess behind them. "What about--?"

"Don't worry about the bar."

"We got this!"

Zack and Biggs gave her a thumbs up.

Tifa looked at Cloud, who looked bemused. "Uh, okay, I guess. We'll be right back."

"Take your time!" Yuffie and Aerith said in unison. They looked at each other and giggled.

"What are they laughing about?" Cloud crossed his arms and tried not to drip too much as he and Tifa stood in the hallway outside the bathroom. He tried not to assume it was him, but old habits died hard.

"Hmm? I'm not sure." Tifa shrugged. She knew exactly what they were laughing at, but she didn't want to say and risk her face looking like a tomato. "Do you want to go first or should I?"

"You go, I'll wait out here."

Though they'd spent the night together before the final battle, they hadn't actually repeated it since. Maybe neither of them expected to survive, so if one night was all they got they'd make the most of it. But, they had won. They saved the planet and everyone got to go home. Together. Cloud kept up his merc work alongside Zack. The pair were almost too popular, and Cloud regularly finished his day emptying his pockets of scrap paper that had hastily written phone numbers scrawled on them. He pushed the pile across the bar and Tifa had the bin already waiting on her side. He always finished up by asking her to go somewhere with him.

Dates were fun and had no theme. Just the two of them wandering Midgar or going out on his custom bike the seller named Fenrir and Cloud developed a habit of treating like a treasured pet. The guy got a lifetime supply of food and drink from Seventh Heaven in exchange when gil alone wouldn't persuade him to sell. Tifa couldn't refuse when she saw the look of longing on Cloud's face. He had so little joy in his life until recently, there was no way she'd be responsible for taking any of it away.

The first time Cloud took her out on Fenrir, showing off and doing insane moves, it made her heart race with excitement. She locked her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his back. She trusted him to keep her safe. She whooped and laughed, which encouraged him to show off even more. It was fun. When he eventually pulled up on a ridge overlooking Midgar, Tifa swung herself round to sit facing him. The look of adorable, wide eyed surprise made her beam. This was the Cloud she remembered best. Her Cloud. She leaned forward the same moment he reached for her. Their kiss, sweet and electrifying, left them both breathless and resting their foreheads against each other.

Coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel after a hasty shower, Tifa smiled at the sight of Cloud leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He had his eyes closed, so she could look her fill, though she could still feel a blush heating her cheeks.

"You done?"

Tifa jumped. Does he know?

Cloud opened his eyes, glanced at her, then smiled and looked away. "Can I get in there now?"

"Uh, yeah." Tifa tucked a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

Cloud pushed away from the wall and she tried not to smile at the drink stain he left behind. He thinks he's so cool. But, she found her feet stuck to the floor as he moved closer. Her eyes lowered from his face, which didn't improve anything because it drew her attention to his loose limbed walked instead. She swallowed and glanced at him through her lashes.

Cloud stopped with an inch of space between them. "Can I...get by?"

Flustered, Tifa realised she was blocking the door. "Oh!" About to step away, she caught sight of a teasingly smug smile on Cloud's face. She stopped and smiled back. "I dunno, can you?"

This time, Cloud swallowed. A slow blush lit his cheeks before he looked away. "You're dripping on the floor," he mumbled, pointing to the small pool spreading around Tifa's feet.

"And you're all sticky," she replied, gesturing at the patch on the wall.

Cloud glanced at the wall, then her and back again. "Uhh..."

Tifa ducked her head and laughed. Cloud never could keep up the bravado for long. She preferred his sweetness, anyway.

Surprising her by clasping her upper arms, Cloud gently urged Tifa aside while holding her gaze. His head darted forward and he stole a swift kiss before releasing her and heading into the bathroom. "Be right back."

Tifa licked her lips and tasted something sweet. "Uh, sure," she replied in a faint voice.

Was three months a long time to date before taking the next step? Tifa hadn't thought about it. She'd never dated before. Not really. Cloud lived at Seventh Heaven with her, but they had separate rooms. After the first time, she hadn't wanted him to think she was easy, or she expected anything from him. She didn't want him to feel pressured to move faster than he was ready for. Or maybe she was just scared. She didn't want to push for more in case he suddenly left. What if he didn't really feel the same way?

"You're a coward." Tifa sighed and stared out of the window. She'd changed into an aqua coloured dress and left her hair loose so it could dry. Thanks to the heat it almost was. "Why can't you just ask him?" She glared accusingly at the washed out reflection of herself framed in the window pane.

"Ask who what?" Cloud appeared behind her, dressed in a white t-shirt and shorts and roughly drying his hair with a towel. The gravity defying spikes were already rearranging to stick up in his signature style. When she didn't answer, he stopped and stared, then swiped a finger along her upper arm.

Tifa turned, eyes widening as he put it to his lips.

"Punch," he said, referring to the sticky drink residue.

"Oh." Tifa laughed. "Guess I missed a spot." She tried to hold onto the playful mood, but worry made her frown. "So, I guess everyone's leaving soon." She crossed her arms under her breasts and tried to smile. "They couldn't stick around forever, right? Cid and Yuffie have homes that aren't here. Nanaki, too. Barret wants to rebuild Corel, so I guess he'll be gone for awhile. It'll be quiet."

"Hmm." Cloud tipped his head to the side. "Not that quiet. Marlene'll need looking after and there's still Biggs, Wedge and Vincent." He paused and added, "And did you forget about Zack and Aerith? You really think it'll be quiet with them around?"

Tifa shook her head and smiled. "Guess not." She looked up at him. "I guess...I just hate goodbyes."

"It won't be for good. They'll come back and visit."

She couldn't help but look at him with hopeful eyes. "You think?"

Cloud swallowed and nodded. "Yeah."

She nodded, but grew apprehensive as she asked, "And you?"

Cloud frowned. "What about me?" He took a step closer. "I live here. With you."

"Yeah, we're neighbours again," she joked, referring to their separate rooms. Though, right then, Cloud was in her room and came in as though it belonged to him. She hadn't noticed, but he did that a lot.

"Don't have to be." His eyes were earnest and hopeful. He took another step, then waited, leaving her to close the remaining distance between them. "Tifa...You don't have to be afraid. I'm not leaving." He smiled and added, "So, suck it up."

Tifa ducked her head and laughed. "Did I really say that?" She walked towards him and he was already opening his arms to draw her in.

"Yup." Pressing his face against her neck he mumbled, "Scared the shit out of me. Don't go places I can't follow, okay?"

Tifa got the sense he meant emotionally, since there wasn't any place he couldn't find her if he wanted to. Oh. She wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair. "I won't," she promised. Feeling daring, she kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "You wanna sleep in here tonight?"

For once, Cloud one-upped her into speechlessness when he replied, "Every night." Moving to press a kiss to her lips, he added in a murmur, "But, can we save the sleeping for later? There's something else I've been waiting for first..."

As night drew in and the guests of Seventh Heaven cleared out calling goodnight to each other and still passing jokes back and forth, Aerith slotted her arm through Zack's and snuggled into his side. "So?" She looked up at him, a huge smile on her face and her eyes shining like emeralds.

Zack chuckled and tapped her on the nose. "Good job today! Mission success!"

Aerith giggled. "Those two." She mock sighed and shook her head. She stopped suddenly and pulled a face. "I didn't get my date with Tifa!" She growled with disappointment, making her sound like Red. "Cloud better appreciate this!"

Zack laughed. "Oh, I guarantee he does."

Aerith shook her head. "You perv."

He pointed at himself, then her. "If I'm one, so are you. It wasn't me who said those two need to stop overthinking things and just do it."

Aerith squealed and laughed. "Don't say it like that! People will send us to jail!"

Zack wrapped both arms around her waist and picked her up. "Wherever we go, it'll be together, so that's fine by me!"

Linking her fingers behind his neck, Aerith urged Zack to lower her enough so she could kiss him. "Yeah," she agreed, coming up for air and trying not to blush. "We're together and that's all that matters." She hugged him tight. "Let's go home. Mom's probably waiting up to give you a lecture."

Zack chuckled. "I'll win her over some day."

Aerith nodded. "Yeah, you will."

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Fleeting Connection

Pairing: Bisexual TJ Hammond (Political Animals) x Female 

Word Count:  3,544

Warning(s): fingering (female receiving), hand job, oral sex (male receiving), t!tty f*cking, badly written smut (but yeah?)

Summary: She is on the hunt for some alcohol and stumbles onto so much more. If you've seen Political Animals, this story opens in a familiar scene from the series and I use a direct TJ quote in the story.

Author’s Notes: it's July 4th. This time last year I posted some smut so I wanted to do so again this year. Also available on AO3. Thanks to @jillybean1217​ for always reading my stuff before anyone else, once again making me a graphic to go along with the story, and cuz she adores Teej. 

I apologize for this mess 😋 Very unexpectedly, Hamilton brought up a lot of emotions in me. I was listening to songs about what a prolific writer he was and how he seemed to live to write. I remember that feeling and have been trying so hard to get back to it and I suspect the only way to do it is to post the stinkers too. Gotta stop being afraid!

She needed a drink. And when she heard the party raging across the hall, she figured there was no better place to get one since her supply was depleted. Plus, her neighbor wouldn't care if she issued her own invite, went over and helped herself. He was generous that way, although she supposed it probably helped that his parents footed his bills. That was how she found herself in her current predicament, quite literally caught by her neighbor whom she had not even seen as she was walking by the couch on the hunt for alcohol. But a hand grasped hers, stopping her in her tracks, drawing her attention to him where he was sat on the couch, another young man to his left.

His eyes pleaded with her as he pulled her onto his lap. As her knees framed his hips, she saw the sadness he tried so hard to hide with booze and drugs. Now he thought he would pull her into his tangled web. She would allow it, for the moment, only because his perfect rosy lips looked tastier than the cherry candy she had been sucking on. 

She slipped that same candy out of her mouth and raised her eyebrows at him expectantly. His right hand cupped the back of her neck and pulled her forward. She opened her mouth to say something, exactly what she didn't know, but he took the opportunity to taste her. His tongue tangled with hers while his firm lips pressed up into her mouth. He tasted of cheap beer which she never had a problem with. But as his teeth bit at her bottom lip and she heard a little growl from him, she felt light headed. His kisses were big and wet and left her breathless. 

She put her hand on his chest and pushed him away. She watched his closed eyes open in surprise and the way his swollen mouth gasped for air as he looked at her with longing made her want to rock her body against him. Just as she thought she might go in for a second helping, the hand at the nape of her neck tried to push her towards the man next to him on the couch. As the other man leaned in, she shoved her lollipop into his mouth. He didn't look pleased and neither did TJ as she climbed off of him. 

"What the fuck?" Ah, there was the petulant spoiled young man she was familiar with. Immediately aggravated when he didn't get what he wanted. She tilted her head and looked down at him with a smirk she knew would piss him off more. 

"Just because you two like to share doesn't mean I do," she answered with a shrug. His face screwed up and she knew he was upset, but that's how she felt when he tried to push her off on some strange dude. He owed her for that. So without warning she bent over, grabbed his head in her hands and made him motorboat her. She had heard jokes that he appreciated a good pair of breasts and her top tonight certainly left nothing to anyone's imagination. It was no doubt why he caught her hand and tried to pull her into his game. Well, too bad for him, when she decided to play with anyone it was only by her own rules. She pushed him away from her and she laughed out loud at his disheveled hair and dazed expression. Served him right.

"Y'all enjoy the rest of your evening." She tipped her imaginary hat to them before she turned and disappeared into the crowd. She grabbed a couple of those cheap beers before she found the door and took her leave. She walked straight across the hall to her place. 

Before she closed the door, she took a pull off of one of the beers. Her eyes drifted shut as the taste invoked the memory of his kiss. It made her shudder. For his many many faults … at least she knew for sure now that he could kiss. When she opened her eyes, she saw him. He stood in his own doorway, forearm leaning on the doorframe. He stared at her, and the look in his eyes made her feel like prey, but she liked it. She swallowed slowly, not wanting to give herself away too quickly. 

She calmed herself by taking another swig of beer. He stepped forward and closed the door behind him. Alright then. She moved to close the door but stopped short of closing it all the way. She made her way towards her bedroom, wondering if he would accept her silent invitation. Once in her bathroom, she heard the very deliberate slam of her front door and knew the answer.

She was just finishing her beer when he appeared in the doorway behind her. They locked eyes in the long rectangular mirror over her sink. He raised his arms over his head, grasping at the top of the door frame with his fingertips. He tilted his head and she saw the faintest of smirks appear on his lips. And he noticed when her eyes focused on his mouth because he tantalizingly licked at his upper lip with just the very tip of his tongue. Feeling her heartbeat jump, she broke the spell with a few fast blinks and a shake of her head. She focused on the act of dropping her now empty bottle into the waste basket to her left, wondering what she had gotten herself into. As if he heard her mind racing with the question, he spoke, his voice raspy. 

“Take off your shirt,” he softly commanded. Her eyes widen at the demand and goosebumps popped up all over her skin. His lips slowly curved up into a smile and his teeth dug into his lower lip as he watched; as he waited. She crossed her arms in front of her, grasped the hem of her blouse, took a deep breath, and did as he told her. 

She shivered at the feel of cool air on her newly exposed skin. Her nipples peaked at the rush of sensation, poking through her lacy bra. Daring a look at him in the mirror, she saw that one of his hands now palmed the front of his dark wash jeans. She nodded at his action.

"Does that mean that you like what you see?" Her voice came out breathier than she intended. She felt warmth crawl up her neck and into her cheeks as he answered by meeting her eyes in the mirror. With slow measured steps, he entered the bathroom and walked right up behind her. His presence behind her was teasingly close but he did not touch her.

"More," he demanded. His breath was so hot against the back of her neck and yet, she shivered at the feel of it. He was not looking at her now. She saw in the mirror that his head was bowed, his eyes glued to her back. When she made no move to acquiesce, it was a few quickened heartbeats before she felt the tips of his fingers on her skin. He started at her shoulder blades and ever-so-slowly dragged them downward. She tried so hard to remain still, her own head bowed so he couldn't see how she bit her own lip or the hunger reflected in her own gaze. But her skin once again erupted with anticipation and he noticed, humming his approval.

His fingers undid the clasp of her bra with one snap. The holder slipped forward, and she lowered her arms until it met her shirt at her feet. She raised her head to see him staring at her over her right shoulder. Her nipples puckered to hard nubs. She felt a heavy ache in her breasts under his gaze. His gaze, his expression was so eager it made her tremble. 

Feeling bashful under the force of that look, she raised her arms to cover herself. His response was a pointed, "Tsk, tsk, tsk" as he repeatedly popped his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He swept her hair back and over her left shoulder so when he turned towards her, his breath tickled her right ear and side of her neck. 

"Your tits are much too beautiful to hide, " he whispered. His whisper held a note of awe and he slowly circled her with his arms so his hands could carefully pry her cover away. When her arms hung at her sides again, his hands moved towards her breasts.

“Is this what you want?” he practically purred. She could feel the heat of his hands hovering near her tits. She tried to lean forward to force herself into his touch, but he pulled his hands back. When she groaned her frustration, she heard his low tone laugh. Her eyes snapped up at his reflection and the smile on his face was radiant, one of pure delight. How does he do that? she wondered.

"Use your words," he said, leaning his face toward her, using his teeth to nibble her earlobe. She inhaled sharply. "I don't move until I hear you say it." Her neck snapped forward so her head could hang. She did not want to have to voice her desire.

Suddenly, she felt whisper soft touches at her lower back. He had his knuckles barely brushing her skin, but just enough contact to tickle slightly as he dragged them upward. She swayed backward, wanting to lean into him. His hands turned and she felt the heat of them against her upper back, keeping her body from his.

"Tell me what you want," he said. She sighed heavily. 

"I want you to touch me. Touch...my tits." He immediately molded himself to her, his hips against her ass, his chest to her back, and his arms hugging hers as his hands finally cupped her in the way she wanted.

His fingers curved around her breasts, weighing them then massaging them. His hands moved from underneath to over them, his slightly roughened palms rubbing against her stiff nipples. He moaned and the vibration against her back caused her eyes to drift shut. Her body arched, ass grinding against his crotch. The friction caused his hands to tighten around her tits; he abruptly squeezed. 

"Mmm, fuck yes," she hissed, grinding harder, hands covering his to encourage him. 

"Slow down," he whispered. Her head leaned back onto his left shoulder but she kept her eyes shut. He teased her with a hot, wet kiss at the junction of her neck and right shoulder. The warm suction was delicious, tingles raced up her spine. He continued the moist trail, lapping at her skin and sucking different spots into his mouth. She vaguely hoped he did so hard enough to leave some marks behind; arousing reminders that this actually happened. 

She was torn from her thoughts by his fingers pinching at her stiff nipples. Her eyes flew open and met his in the mirror. His expression was one of wicked enjoyment as he played with her breasts. His lips were wet and parted as he watched himself tease her body, and she felt him press his erection against her, his body moving in a way that let her know he was just as affected as she was. He eased up the pressure on her tits before he palmed them and dug his fingers in. He pressed them together, all the while as she gasped and panted and moaned. She caught his gaze in the mirror.

"I think I wanna fuck them," he whispered into her ear. "Would you like that? Would you like it if I slid my cock between your lips, made you taste me, only so I could put you on your knees and I put my hard wet dick in between your tits?" She could not form coherent words; the best she could do was groan. He smirked in response. "You would let me do that?" She was nodding frantically without hesitation, surprised when his answer was a soft kiss against her cheek. "Well, then...if you're going to be so generous with me…"

One hand abandoned her chest to make its way down. He managed to get underneath her billowy skirt with ease. His dark chuckle in her ear as he found her panties soaked with arousal caused a whine to bubble up her throat and out of her mouth.

"Jesus, the sounds you make," he whispered, sounding wrecked. Her gaze cut to his quickly. The intensity of his stare shook her to her core, literally. He hugged her entire body tighter when he felt it. "I should be embarrassed that I'm so close to cumming just from those God damn sounds and how you're trembling in my arms."

"TJ…" His name was a desperate cry torn from her lungs and she punctuated it when she turned her head and captured his mouth. Teeth clashed as he stole her breath with the kiss; if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was kiss. 

The moment his fingers worked their way past her panties and touched her slick flesh, her mouth was torn from his as her body pitched forward. She braced herself on her sink, and felt his teeth nip at the nape of her neck as he followed. His left arm moved between her breasts so his hand could lightly clasp the bottom of her neck. His other hand was busy, thumb circling but not touching her clit as two fingers penetrated her. There was a vague thought somewhere in her mind that she should be embarrassed at the wet sound of him fucking her with his fingers. Then he drew his fingers completely out of her and used them to finally touch her clit, and all thought vanished from her mind. Her body snapped back against his. Her hands went to his forearm, clinging, and his grip on her throat tightened just enough. 

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna…" she tried to warn him but he knew. 

"Look in the mirror," he growled. Their reflections were wild and crazy, him fully dressed with his hands on her half naked body, his hand furiously working under her clothes. Somehow not being able to see what he did but feeling it intensified the experience. 

"I want you to watch me take you apart." With no warning, he plunged his fingers back into her and her pussy clenched as her orgasm crashed into her. The tension in her veins finally snapped, warmth spreading throughout her limbs, electricity racing up her spine. Her head fell back, face turned to him and he covered her mouth with his. His tongue mimicked what his fingers now did and all she could do was melt against him. She gasped when his thumb lightly teased her clit once, twice as she came back to herself. Her body was covered in a light sheen of sweat and there was still an energy that tickled the base of her neck.

She didn't want to lose her nerve so when her knees were solid again, she peeled his hands off of her and turned. He didn't give her a chance to act on her desires as he immediately began licking and sucking at her decolletage. His clever mouth moved lower as his hands cupped her breasts. He was generous with his wet and sloppy attention as he licked his way between her tits, sucking and teasing them, moving quickly from one to the other and back again. 

After enough attention, she dropped to her knees. Beating her to the punch, his hands quickly undid his jeans. When he hesitated with the zipper in his fingers, she shifted her eyes to his face. His smirk made her throb and she could hear the slow descent of his zipper as he finally dragged it down. Eagerly, she grabbed his open jeans and the band of his boxer briefs and yanked them to his knees. His erection sprang free, and he wrapped his hand around it, fucking his fist.

"Play with your tits," he demanded. The broken low tone of his voice made her shiver as she tipped her head back to look up at him. She bit at her own lips as her fingers spread his spit around, tugged at her nipples, and pushed her tits together the way he seemed to like. When she did, he growled and positioned his dick between them. He moved his hips and fucked her tits, sliding easily between them as she kept the pressure surrounding his dick as tight as she could. 

"Yes...YES…" he muttered. "I'm already…" she pulled herself away from him to take his cock into her hand, twisting as she stroked him firmly again and again. She licked at and around the head while maintaining eye contact. 

"Let me have it," she pleaded, popping the tip in between her lips and sucking. Her name fell from his lips and she pulled back, aiming his dick at her chest and felt his hot cum paint her chest. His head was back and she watched the muscles in his neck work as the veins in his neck stood out, as if they wanted to break through the skin. TJ groaned in a way that made her want to get off all over again, knowing she made him make those sounds. 

He panted and moaned until the very last drop had been drained from him, only to sigh at the very end. She watched his shoulders rise and fall on that sigh and found herself sighing too. She released him and he moved to lean back against her sink. His head fell forward and his whole body slumped. Seeing that, her own body finally released tension and she felt her own shoulders fall and her eyes drifted shut. 

It was a while before there was anything but the sound of their own heavy breathing and her heartbeat in her ears. When she heard the water running, she opened her eyes to watch him clean up. When he had himself put away, he looked into the mirror and she watched his eyes roam over her own disheveled appearance. 

"Breasts…" he paused to smirk at her in that way that set her on fire, "are awesome." She laughed at his declaration, looking down shyly, which was dumb after what they had just done. He surprised her by crouching down and wiping his mess off of her with a warm washcloth. 

"YOUR breasts are particularly…" his sentence fell off and she looked up to see his gaze focused on where he was cleaning. The way his lips were parted and he looked almost...hungry...took her off guard. When he felt her heart thud harder in her chest, he looked back at her face and instead of a sexy smirk, it was an unexpectedly soft smile. 

"It's already done, TJ, you don't have to compliment me now," she told him, taking the tiny towel from him and finishing what he started. He inhaled sharply, as if to say something in response, but the sound of heavy knocking interrupted. 

"I know you're in there, TJ!" The male voice was muffled but they both heard it. She cocked an eyebrow at him as reached up to get a grip on the sink to help her stand. Her body protested but she managed to make it to her feet. 

"Your date is mad," she told him. "You better go put a leash on him cuz it won't be pretty if I gotta deal with him doing any damage to my door." She threw the washcloth in the hamper and retrieved her clothes off the floor. She folded the bra up and put it on the sink but put her shirt back on. They both faced the mirror again. 

"He's not my date," he explained. She was not sure why he felt the need to clarify, nor why she felt a tiny hint of satisfaction at the information. She shrugged as nonchalantly as she could at him. He walked up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder. 

"Later?" he asked. She lightly shrugged again, bouncing his chin off of her shoulder. 

"Never can tell," she answered, hoping her tone was as noncommittal as the words she chose. That damn smile reappeared and he kissed her cheek before he departed. 

She heard him trying to calm down whoever the guy was at her door before she heard it softly shut behind him. That sound was like a trigger and the night caught up with her all at once. She leaned heavily on her sink and stared at herself in the mirror. Everything about her reflection told the story of what had just happened. 

When she caught the look in her own eyes, she snorted out loud. One part satisfaction, one part wanting more, and maybe another part… She rolled her eyes at herself and sighed. Where was that other beer she had swiped from his place? Cuz whatever she didn't know about what had just happened, the one thing she knew for sure? She needed a drink. 

Author’s Notes Part 2: if you have not seen Political Animals before, HERE​ is the scene that inspired this story. Hopefully it is familiar now that you read the fic. If not, I did not paint as good of a picture as I wanted to!

As for the direct TJ quote I used:

By @bobbiemorley HERE

[twilightarc-gm]

49 ,61, 66?

<33

OMG Hi Nonnie! I'll be real with yah, I'm not sure I ever had an anonymous ask before and if I did, it's been so long I don't remember it. This is pretty cool, ngl.

I'm assuming this is for the Book Rec Ask Game [Below links are to StoryGraph for book descriptions]

49. a book featuring the bed-sharing trope

Honestly don't even know. I can't help you, Nonnie. I tried looking through lists of books to jog my memory and nada. The closest I can remember off hand is Magic's Pawn from the Heralds of Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey and I think I only kinda remember it because I have recently been thinking about the Heralds again.

Vanyel and his soul-bond Tylendel >>mlm<< end up actually together and one scene is them in bed just bein' in love and then... I believe that's when everything starts going south real fast for Vanyel.

The Last Herald Mage series is very gay, but also very sad. Definitely, YA and very hard for me to read as an adult. Still! Telepathic magic horses! Magic! LGBT+! Pretty much established the genre of "Romantic Fantasy" because of its heavy emphasis on politics.

61. your favourite horror novel

I'm sorry Nonnie, this answer is really boring because I'm not a horror genre person normally. I did actually read all of Stephen King's IT however. All :checks-notes: 1000+ pages of it and what I got from it was a growing sense sympathy for people scared of clowns, wanting to go play in rainy gutters, and being obsessed with silver jewelry for the next 10 years of my life. I ended up watching the series (1990 release) after that and absolutely one thing that translated well was the pacing. This book is SLOW. Half the horror is in all the description of completely normal things but then something WEIRD happens, which I guess is what you expect from horror.

The most unnerving part for me is just the utter refusal of the adults in the town to do anything about all the missing/dead children.

It had some batshit insane imagery though, and lots of scenes that the kids these days would call 'Problematic'. Instances of racism, homophobia, uuuhhh the thing with Beverly in the sewers... <.<;; Didn't even register when I was reading it back in the 90s, but I think it was my first big exposure to the idea that "things that are terrifying can be different for everyone".

66. book that fucked you up

Out of all these questions, Nonnie, this one is the easiest to answer and also the hardest because it was so long ago. Like, middle school. Philip Pullman rocked my entire world with the His Dark Materials series and specifically the ending of the series The Amber Spyglass.

Will is the bearer of the knife. Now, accompanied by angels, his task is to deliver that powerful, dangerous weapon to Lord Asriel - by the command of his dying father. But how can he go looking for Lord Asriel when Lyra is gone? Only with her help can he fathom the myriad plots and intrigues that beset him. The two great powers of the many worlds are lining up for war, and Will must find Lyra, for together they are on their way to battle, an inevitable journey that will even take them to the world of the dead...

Obviously, I would be remiss if I spoiled it, but I need you to know that because of this series I gave up Catholicism entirely and went straight atheist for a while before settling on a "formless faith" type stance I have now. I'm not saying, "read this and give up your religion" but it does-- in those formative years-- help you solidify any thoughts you may already have on faith and institutions thereof. All set with this multiverse spanning fantasy with a hint of clockwork punk.

I balled my eyes out in that middle school library, y'all.

Thanks again for this! It was a toughy, but it sure sent me down memory lane. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[plugloveff]

Chapter 8

Aria: 

“Where are they? Party started like an hour ago” I asked looking down at my Rolex.

It was Chanel’s 25th birthday and her party was in full swing. However the birthday girl was nowhere to be found.

“I just texted Meek, he said they’re on their way now.” Cassidy said looking down at her phone.

“Seriously how does this girl take so long to get ready all of the time?” I asked shaking my head.

“Baby relax, she’ll be here soon. Come have a drink with me” Dre said taking my hand and walking to the bar.

Sighing I leaned against the bar scanning the drink menu. Dre wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. With him being so wrapped around me I could finally feel my body starting to relax.

“What can I get you?” The bartender asked.

“Can I get a #95” I said pointing at the custom drink menu we’d created for her birthday.

“And you sir?“

“I’ll have the same” Dre said. Watching as the bartender went to work on making our drinks I looked down at my watch again and Dre nipped at my shoulder.

“Ow, what’d you do that for?” I asked.

“Stop looking at your watch, they’re coming. You guys did great this place looks amazing. You need to relax, you’ve been going crazy for the past couple days about this” he said.

“I know, I just want her to enjoy herself, this is the first time since we’ve met that she hasn’t had a huge party or went on vacation. I just want her to know that we appreciate her and we want to celebrate this big milestone” I said.

“Your sweet, you know that?“

Smiling I nodded my head, "I know."

Planting a soft kiss on my shoulder, he stood up straight just as the bartender handed us our drinks.

"Thank you” I said picking up my glass and taking a sip.

Turning around to face Dre, I smiled at him as dark brown eyes bore into mine. Andre was like no man I’d ever experienced in my life. He was stern, but gentle. He had never handled me with anything other than care. His guard was always up, he didn’t allow much people to see who he really was expect for the people he kept close. And to have the privilege to get close to him meant he cared about you. He’d shown me more love in the last three months than I’d received in the past 25 years.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing, I just don’t know what I’d do without you” I said.

“Aww, you going soft on me?” he asked mockingly.

“Only for you” I said standing on my tippy toes and giving him a kiss on the lips.

“Umm, I like the sound of that” he said gripping my waist.

“Come on before you try and do something nasty” I said taking his hand.

“Nah I’ll behave, but when I get you home it’s a wrap” he whispered in my ear causing a jolt of electricity to course though my body. I felt the pulse between my legs and my thighs clenched in response. The smirk on Dre’s face told me he’d noticed the effect he’d had on me.

“Don’t” I said groaning and dragging him back to where our friends were sitting.

“Cass, is Cash coming?” Stephanie asked.

“Why you asking me? I’m not his keeper” she replied looking down at her phone.

“Bitch please, you gone act like you not texting his ass right now?” Steph asked.

“Oh you fucking with Cash Cassidy? I'm about to start calling you C-money ” Wayne said blowing the smoke the blunt he was smoking out of his mouth.

“Oh my gosh, no I’m not fucking with him” Cassidy replied, but the crack in her voice told us other wise.

“Ummhm, we can just ask him now since he just walked in"

"What?” Cassidy asked her eyes flew up from her phone and looked around.

We all bust out laughing. “Umm, but you not checking for him right?” Steph asked

Cassidy flipped her off and went back to scrolling through her phone.

Pulling up a chair Dre sat and pulled me onto his lap. “I hope y'all getting ready for our Christmas trip” I said.

“Hell yeah, I can’t wait. It’s going to be so dope” Steph said.

“Where we going again?” Dre asked.

“Aspen baby. So you better make sure you got some warm clothes” I said.

“We live in Miami, where the fuck am I supposed to find snow gear out here” Wayne asked.

“It’s called online shopping Dwayne” Stephanie replied.

“What I told you about calling me that?"

"It’s your name nigga” Steph stated matter of factly.

"Only my mother call me that shit" he said.

"Wasn't you calling me mommy last night?"

"Honestly do you guys stop?" Cassidy asked in disgust.

Before Wayne could answer with a smart comment. The DJ was on the mic; “The guest of honor has finally arrived. On the count of three I want everyone to wish Chanel a happy birthday." He announced.

We all turned our attention to the door.

"One.. Two.. Three"

"Happy Birthday Chanel” we all screamed as Chanel and Meek walked out hand in hand. They looked like they belonged on the cover of a magazine. Chanel wore a Dior swimsuit and a white knit skirt and matching Dior sandals. Her hair fell in loose curls down her back and her face was made up to perfection. Meek wore Dior trunks that matched Chanel’s swimsuit with white Dior sneakers and a white t-shirt.

Walking over to us Chanel flashed us a million dollar smile. “Oh my gosh, you guys this looks amazing” she said looking around the backyard.

The backyard was decorated with White and Purple balloons. There was a Taco truck, a Hibachi station, a Sweets table and a fully stocked bar. Meek also insisted we had a tent for a dispensary so everyone had enough weed for the entire night. The guest list was small but there was no expense spared for her big day.

“Well you know we had to go big for your 25th” I said giving her a hug.

“Happy Birthday Coco” Steph said giving her a hug.

“Thank you guys this is amazing. Y'all about to make me cry” she said giving the rest of the group a hug.

“Nah, you did enough of that already” Meek said.

“Chanel you were crying? On your birthday ?” I asked.

“It’s his fault, he’s been spoiling me all week” she said pointing at Meek.

“Because that’s his job” Cassidy said.

“Thank you sis. Please tell her ass again for me” he said.

Laughing Chanel shook her head and pouted. “Honestly you guy’s I love y'all so much” she said.

“We love your ass too Coco, now enough of all this sentimental shit. It’s time to get lit. It’s your birthday I’m getting your ass fucked up tonight” Wayne said.

Cassidy: 

"I’ll be right back, I have to get something from my car” I said getting up from my chair and stumbling into the house.

I was on my sixth shot of 1942 thanks to Wayne and I was starting to feel the effects of it.

Grabbing my car keys I walked out of the house and onto the driveway. Opening my trunk I pulled out the two gift bags I left and closed the trunk. When I felt a pair of hands on my waist.

“Who the fuc-” I started to say when I turned around and saw him standing in front of me.

“Damn you expecting someone else?” Cash asked looking down at me.

Smiling I shook my head no. “You just can’t be sneaking up on me like that” I said.

“My bad, I forgot I’m dealing with a gangster” he said smirking.

“Exactly, you could’ve gotten yourself hurt” I said.

“Ummhmm, I bet."

I watched as his tongue came out wetting his top lip. My thighs clenched thinking about how good his tongue would feel between them. I groaned in frustration, because the thought alone had my body hot. I felt like a little caesar’s pizza hot and ready just for Cash.

"What’s going on in that pretty little head of your’s?” he asked me placing a hand on my car trapping me.

“Umm, nothing” I said.

“You sure? Because the way your clenching your thigh’s together and the way your hearts pounding tells me otherwise"

"I’m just hot” I said.

“Umm, I can see that” he said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear with his free hand. His thumb grazed my cheek and I shivered at the contact.

“You know I’ve been thinking about you everyday since the last time I saw you?” he said.

“Have you now?"

"Ummhmm, that’s why I been blowing up your phone everyday. I don’t usually chase a girl but you. Ms Cassidy I can’t help myself.”

“Why is that” I asked looking up at him.

“I’m not sure but you’re doing something to a nigga” he said lowering his face so that we were eye level. He was so close, too close I could feel the heat of his breath on my face. Our lips were touching as he spoke to me, my body felt like I was on fire.

I wasn’t sure if it was the liquor or the fact that I hadn’t had sex in months. But I couldn’t take it anymore, dropping the gift bags I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into me pressing my lips against his. Cash groaned as he pushed me against the trunk, he pressed his dick against me and I moaned against his lips.

When he broke the kiss, I was breathless. I’d never had a kiss that made me feel like I was weightless.

“What are you doing to me Cassidy?” he asked looking down at me.

“I was just going to ask you the same question” I said.

Cash stared down at me, and I could see the heat in his hazel eyes. He wanted me and god I wanted him so badly. Feeling my phone vibrating in my pocket I looked away from him and pulled it out. It was a message from Chris.

Chris: Hey babe I hope you’re having fun, tell Chanel I said Happy birthday and I’ll see you tonight when you get home I Love you.

Quickly closing the message I looked back up and Cash was watching my every move.

“Umm, we should get back to the party"

Cash glared about me, "I hope you know I’m not letting up on you lil mama. I’m applying heavy pressure”

“Actions speak louder than words” I said.

“I don’t have nothing if I don’t have my word lil mama"

Nodding I reached for the gift bags but Cash got to them before me. "Lead the way gorgeous.”  

Walking back into the backyard I could feel Cash’s eyes on me the entire time I walked.

“Aye my boy” Meek said walking up to Cash and embracing him.

“Wassup G” Cash said.

“Cassie, you had to get his ass? He too good to enter alone?"

"Nah, I ran into him when I was getting some gifts out of my car. I didn’t even think he was coming"

"You knew I wouldn’t miss a party especially not one when you’re going to be there” he said looking down at me.

I blushed and Meek smirked at the two of us. “Parties starting to wind down so it’ll just be us soon”

“Cash, you made it” Stephanie said with a smirk on her face. Groaning I rolled my eyes and took a seat.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Happy birthday Coco” Cash said giving Chanel a hug and handing her an envelope. It was so stuffed that it barely closed. A stack of hundreds peeked out.

“Thank you Cash, you really didn’t have too” she said.

“Aye you family now, we always take care of family” he said nodding at Meek who nodded his head in agreement.

After greeting the rest of the crew he came next to me and tapped my leg, motioning for me to stand up. When I did he took my seat and pulled me onto his lap. “Much better” he said in my ear and I smirked as I felt Chanel, Aria and Steph’s eyes watching our every move.

I knew I was playing with fire, I had two men in my life but there was only one that I wanted. I had to get rid of Chris and quick, before this got ugly.

Ahmeek:

"Ok, I’m exhausted and I’m way to drunk to drive home” Cassidy said laying down on the couch.

“I think we’re all too drunk to move, there is more than enough space in this house. You guy’s can just stay here” Chanel said sitting up.

“You sure?” Aria asked.

“Yeah we have seven bedrooms, me and Meek only need one” she said.

“Shit you don’t have to tell me twice” Wayne said picking up a sleeping Stephanie and walking up the stairs.

“Yeah, Dre we should head to bed to” Aria said.

“Umhm but I’m taking the room two doors away from them” he said.

“The bedrooms are soundproof” I said.

“Oh word?” Dre asked looking at Aria.

“Andre, let’s go” Aria said as Dre smirked walking up the stairs.

“Alright, I’m exhausted and very drunk. The room feel’s like it’s spinning so I should go to bed. I’m sure you guy’s can find yourself to your room” Chanel said getting up from the couch. "Baby don't take forever coming to bed" she said giving me a kiss before walking up the stairs.

“I’m going to head up too” Cassidy said following Chanel up the stairs. Leaving Cash and I alone; “So Cassie huh?” I asked.

Cash, sighed and ran a hand down his waves. “What you want me to say? I fuck with her I can’t change that” he said.

I scuffed knowing the exact feeling, them Wright girls were a different breed. Once they hooked you were hooked forever. I knew first hand how deep that hook was, the thing’s I’d do for Chanel Wright was insane.

“You know she has a boyfriend right?"

Cash, sucked his teeth "That nigga, can become a distant memory. If it ever comes to it, but I’m not worried about him. He’s just a place holder”

Laughing I shook my head and leaned over resting my elbows on my knees. “Just be careful with that” I said.

“Always G” he said standing and patting my shoulder before jogging up the stairs to bed.

Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and headed upstairs to my own bed.

When I walked into our bedroom, Chanel was spread across the bed. Stepping out of my clothes I removed my chain and watch and climbed into bed beside her.

Her eyes fluttered open, “I love you” she said curling into the side of my body.

“I love you too” I said kissing her forehead and falling asleep.