#also where is the teacher advisor for this club. why were they not making this decision.

[greenandhazy]

okay I started to write a goddamn novel in the tags and then realized I was processing some stuff for the first time in years lmao so--

My high school was going to put on a production of The Laramie Project--had cast it already, started rehearsing, the works--and then suddenly changed the school play to something inane (I want to say Big Rock at Candy's Mountain, although I don't remember it being a musical), and rumor has it parents had complained about the subject matter.

This really bothered me, particularly because it was like 2010-2011, when there was a lot of attention being paid to homophobia in the news, re: both same-sex marriage/discrimination laws and also the rate of suicides for LGBTQ kids. So I wrote an op-ed, basically just saying, this subject matter is important even though it's upsetting (because it's upsetting), we're living in a homophobic time and it's important to raise awareness of this issue, students should have gotten a real explanation as to why it was canceled, etc. I sent it in to the school paper, and when it didn't make the next issue I sent it in to the town paper, where it was published.

I had the weirdest meeting with the principal over it--I didn't get in trouble there. They basically said "you wrote this? it's very good" and sent me back to class. But then the drama club supervisor (who had been my English teacher and also the advisor for a club I was in, my favorite teacher at the time) called me into her classroom and really chewed me out for it. Said I should have waited for feedback from the school paper (which I think she also advised?) because they were editing it--I had never gotten any response from them, and this was like a month and a half later--and it was irresponsible and presumptuous. I remember specifically she said "And you quoted me!", which confused me because the only mention I had made of her was an offhand reference to the fact that she had told me the semester before what the play would be, before it was announced, and that I had been excited for it.

Upon reflection, my best read on the whole thing would be that the teacher had pushed back on canceling The Laramie Project, and when the op-ed came out, the school administration suspected she had actually ghostwritten it for me, or at least suggested that I should write it, and that caused her some trouble. But at the time I was just kind of flabbergasted because the only person who apparently had a strong negative reaction was, like, the one adult I had trusted to be on my side? We basically never spoke again--she even stopped showing up to supervise the club I was a part of, which really sucked, and the quality of it tanked.

what's the most demented thing you guys got in trouble for in school mine was when an english boy in my class made fun of my name and called my mum a (derogatory word for irish travellers) so i told him my ira uncle was in town and was coming to blow him up after school

[nincompoopydoo]

PAIRING, BAGELS, REPEAT

— PALM TO PALM IS HOLY PALMER’S KISS ; PART 3 / ?

PAIRING: Bruce Wayne x reader

WORD COUNT: 1846

SUMMARY: You’re back to teaching at Gotham High and you end up overlooking rehearsals for the GHS drama club’s upcoming annual play: Romeo and Juliet that no one ever attends. In the spirit of keeping your students’ hopes up, you decide to take it upon yourself to draft out a plan to drive more people to come to the play. The key is the man you’re in love with.

WARNINGS: Vague description of a nightmare, death and an annoying teenager.

A/N: This is really going slowly like a true slow burn. I hope yall like this one. Enjoy!

MASTERLIST ; MASTERPOST

In the light of your unemployment as a teacher, Gotham High miraculously offered your old job back after Mrs Wilson, one of the senior English Literature teachers, died of a heart attack unannounced. In all seriousness, apologies were made, admitting they had a mistake with firing you because well, you were clearly a passionate teacher. To your surprise, you were told your students even missed you. Hence, you accepted a job from GHS once again because you would do anything to avoid the smell of burgers and the sounds of hungry crying children. After the whole burglary incident, the Big Belly Burger at midtown was forever doomed as customers gradually decreased over time. It was Gotham after all, people should be used to these kinds of things by now. Including witnessing Batman saving you, the whole experience felt like a fever dream. As excited you were and weirdly unbothered by the whole near-death experience, you realized that if you were to talk about it, no one would genuinely believe you anyway. He was a myth to most citizens of Gotham, but you’re an exception because you’re well acquainted with the knowledge that Bruce definitely knows Batman.

And oh boy, do they talk.

It’s your secret to keep and so is the Batarang you stole. You’re also dying to tell Bruce.

So, you find yourself back in the hallways, crowded with sweaty teenagers, but you would choose this over anything else in a heartbeat. Apart from returning to teaching uninterested students about the works of Shakespeare and Harper Lee and forcing reading lists onto them, you are also replacing Mrs Wilson as the GHS Drama Club’s advisor. Stage performance may be personally foreign to you but plays were practically your forte. That was how you ended up spending your Tuesday afternoons, preparing the members for the club’s annual play. This time, they decided to perform the classic: Romeo and Juliet.

As an English teacher, you were frankly sick of the play, forbidden love was a tad overrated to you. Yet the kids were genuinely trying their best. Shaniqua and Oscar were currently rehearsing their lines as the two infamous star-crossed lovers; You watched them with pride. The two were quiet in your classes but they truly shone on the stage of the school theatre.

“And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss—teach, what does this whole scene even mean?” Shaniqua exclaims and you chuckle, “This scene is simply a metaphor where Romeo is a pilgrim wanting to erase his sins and Juliet is a saint. So, he is basically trying to convince her to kiss him so that he can truly be free of sin,” your explanation echoes through the room, and you notice Oscar turning red when you mention the word ‘kiss’. It was clear as day that the poor boy really liked the girl he’s currently hand in hand with but you don’t want him to feel nervous and uncomfortable about the thought of kissing her. “Now Oscar, you can kiss her on the cheek and that’s fine. Shaniqua, say it with more emotion, okay? Everyone got it?” The response you received was a sputter of hums and nods. Before you could continue, Josh, who plays Lord Capulet and is sitting lazily on the handmade throne, speaks up much to your dismay, “Why is it so important that we put so much effort into this. It’s not like anyone is going to come.” The kids around him began agreeing with his statement, and it was honestly completely expected of him but it was the truth. No one attends the drama club’s annual play. As you're trying to calm everyone down, your phone buzzes on the table in front of you. It’s a text from Bruce, asking if you could come over tonight, phrasing it like he’s a schoolboy sneaking from his parents to meet with a girl late at night. Then, like an epiphany you have an idea although there’s an eighty percent chance it wouldn’t go through. Nevertheless, you turn to the rest of the students with a hint of a smile on your lips. “I might have just the idea to solve that.”

-

A brief span seemed like an eternity when sleep doesn’t come easy to you. Tonight was a different case; thoughts were completely clear and concise. In much need of sleep, you steal the chance to savour in this clarity and serenity for as long as you could. To feel his warmth, arm gently resting on your abdomen and the occasional whiff of his deodorant from his ebony shirt you’re dressed in. If this was what bliss feels like, you never want it to go away. Your eyes grow heavy, flickering into darkness due to exhaustion from a long day of rehearsals. At once, you’re struck with the reminder of the idea you had this afternoon. It is more of a favour, involving none other than Bruce. There’s a tinge of guilt whenever favours are involved because you never liked asking for help. You were furiously independent and responsible, relying on others was out of the question. Yet, Bruce has always seemed to find a way to weave himself in your mistakes and problems, constantly there to help out. You have to remind yourself this isn’t about you. It’s for the kids. Special guest, Bruce Wayne, playboy and billionaire. Sounds awesome.

As your consciousness begins ebbing away, you feel Bruce shift from beside you, grasp tightening upon your waist. Before your dazed mind could even fully process that he was in the midst of a nightmare, his eyes are wide open, heart-pounding and it seizes him up instantly. With deep breaths, he closed his eyes once more, unable to shake the feeling of dread that rattles in him. Then, a sudden cold touch to his arm—he jumps and snaps his head to look over his shoulder.

It’s you, still laid in bed with a prominent frown upon your brows. Your hand squeezes his forearm and all he feels is instant relief. His heart still pounds, not in fear but with affection. “Are you okay?” you drawled as you watch his lingering hand, fingers weaved between the strands of hair. The silver ones glint under the low light, contrasting the deep brown ones. You notice how his hair had grown along with his five o’clock shadow becomes more evident by the days. His face away from you, finally nodding in response to your question. “Yeah, just... a bad dream. His voice is subdued as he shifts under the sheets, head leaning against the headboard. Despite your weakened state, you bring yourself to sit up, twisting your body to face him properly. "You wanna talk about it?” you say, patting his shoulder lightly in a comforting manner. You watch him rub his eyes, exhale tightly and shake his head. “No. Anything but that.”

His response comes out almost harsh but Bruce doesn’t mean for it to be perceived in that way. His dream was the usual, the normal ones he’s used to by now but in times of stress overwork, they have started to become more intense and violent. This time it involved you, for the first time, and he watched you vividly get shot in the forehead—trails of his memory as Batman when he encountered you at the burger restaurant with the muzzle of a gun inches away from you. It haunts him to think that if the circumstances were different if you hadn’t texted him those dreaded four words, you might be dead.

He certainly is not telling you about the dream. Never in a million years.

Bruce turns to you and you’re still staring at him, worry carved deep in your furrowed brows. Change of topic was merely necessary at this point. “So, how has school been? The kids still mean to you?” Classic Bruce, always sweeping his problems under the antique Persian rug. You don’t blame him because you wouldn’t know better.

It was your turn to sigh at the mention of school but since tonight’s pillow talk is heading towards your job as an English teacher at GHS, you might as well use the opportunity to pitch in your plan. “Still mean, but the drama club kids are really great,” You thumb the edge of the blanket, unable to hide your growing smile. “Speaking of which, the annual play is next Friday and they have been rehearsing all week but,” you paused as you watched his right brow gradually lift. “No one comes for it. Like, no one and I hate to see all their efforts just thrown out the window like that—”

“So, you want me to go for it.”

You blinked, wondering if your explanations were too obvious of its underlying intent or Bruce could just read you like an open book. You won’t be surprised if it’s the latter.

“If it’s no biggie. You don’t have to because I know you’re very busy but I don’t want the special guest to end up being the Big Belly Burger mascot.” Your smile widens and Bruce chuckles. Hell, it’s probably past midnight and you’re still able to find ways to be terribly funny. Literally terrible. After a beat of silence, he clears his throat. “I’ll clear my schedule.” It didn’t need much anticipation or thought because despite everything going on in his life, he knows he’ll do just about anything for you. You’re practically beaming at him and he finally sees it’s all worth it in the end. “Thank you, Bruce.” Your voice is sweet, and it makes his heart swell ever so slightly.

He sometimes wishes the two of you weren’t trapped in this loophole of unsaid confessions and hidden strong emotions for the other.

It almost comes naturally when he leans to you and presses a swift kiss to your forehead. Instead, it’s contradicting everything the two of you consider normal. He isn’t thinking straight and now your smile has disappeared, mouth agape and eyes very wide. Your brain stops.

Uh, what the hell just happened?

It hits him like a punch to the gut and the growing awkward silence is deafening. Yet, he doesn’t apologise because if he does, it doesn’t mean anything when in reality, it means so much more than just an accidental gesture. You don’t mention anything because you don’t objectify his actions. Kissing Bruce was fine when there are no strings attached but a peck to the forehead is way too affectionate for the man.

Before the both of you begin to overthink the events of a few moments ago, Bruce’s rational conscience kicks in and he clears his throat. “Get some sleep. You had a long day today.” He pats you on the shoulder awkwardly and you hum, shifting your head to lay back on the pillow. “Yesterday.” you correct him as it’s well past midnight. He chuckles, now laying flat on his back as he stares at the ceiling. Silently, the two of you agree to forget whatever happened a minute ago and to just...sleep it off.

TAGLIST:

@raineeace

[yume-fanfare]

Start line

this is the translation of one of the short stories posted to celebrate LIPxLIP’s birthday, you can read it in japanese here. it has been translated from this spanish translation by mieltrabajos

---

“Suzumi-san, why don't you come over to our school?”

It was in her last days of middle school that a Sakuragaoka teacher invited her, told her he was the advisor of the track and field club. At that moment, she was about to go back home, feeling down because she hadn't accomplished the goal she'd set three years earlier: be one of Japan's top 10 athletes.

During middle school, Mr. Yamazaki had taught her about track and field. He was a college professor, but she caught his eye during a race. However, Hiyori had heard that Sakuragaoka was in Tokyo. She didn't quite process it at the time, confused as she was. Studying in Tokyo had never crossed her mind. She thought she'd go to a highschool nearby, just like everyone else.

Hiyori lives in the countryside. There weren't many schools to choose from, and even if they did have entrance exams, most people got in because there simply weren't enough students. For that reason, local public schools didn't have track and field. In fact, most club activities weren't active. And, even if they were, they weren't competitive enough nor had proper teachers. So Hiyori had thought she'd have to give up on running after middle school, it sounded impossible.

Of course I want to keep running. It was what I focused most on my third year of middle school. I loved running more than anything else, it was all that I had. But, Tokyo is too far away. I was told to “think about it” for now, but I still don't know, it's so complicated.

During lunch break, Hiyori slumped over her desk, groaning. Shirakawa Satoe, her best friend and classmate, stared at Hiyori while eating a sandwich.

“What's the matter, Hiyori? Does your stomach hurt from eating too much?”

“Waaaah, Sato-chan, what should I do?”

She held her head in her hands. The week after finishing the club tournaments, Hiyori couldn't do anything but worry about track and field.

Because of this, I feel like my stomach has become very heavy.

Today's lunchbox had two big rice balls and fried shrimp, but she didn't feel like eating.

“Are you still worried about the Tokyo school?”

“I'm worried precisely because it's Tokyo… It's so far away, like on the other side of the world!”

“It'll be fine. You're Hiyori, you'll be able to keep running if you work hard!”

Hiyori shook her head. 

“No, it's impossible no matter what!” 

“But it's only a couple of hours away by plane, isn't it? And around ten by bus. Maybe it's closer than you think.”

“I don't think I have enough money to fly.”

“True, why is it so hard? If I had money, I'd go to a live in Tokyo or Osaka…”

Hiyori and Satoe sigh.

I wonder if I should give up after all…

She still hadn't talked to her parents about Sakuragaoka yet. Her mom seemed convinced she’d go to a local high school at the last parents-teacher conference.

If I wanted to go to a Tokyo school, Grandma and Grandpa probably wouldn't like it… And Dad will get really mad...

“It's hopeless…” Hiyori said, putting her head on the desk again. “What if I took the exam without permission? If I pass, there would be no going back!”

“... And how would you live in Tokyo?”

Hiyori lifted her head and saw Satoe had crossed her arms.

“That's the problem.”

Paying rent, living expenses and the tuition fees with just a part time job would be really hard. It's not impossible, but Hiyori doesn't think she'd be able to do something like that and track and field. Going to Tokyo would be pointless then.

“But you want to run, right?”

“I do. I've been working as hard as I can and… I haven't given up on being in Japan's top 10.”

“Do you want to be a professional runner in Japan's national team?” Satoe laughed and poked Hiyori's cheek with her chopstick.

“I'm not fit enough for that yet but… I don't want to stop running.”

‘You can run anywhere, you don't have to join a club’. I'm sure that's what my parents would answer. I know. But that depends on each one's determination.

I hadn't thought about going to Tokyo until that teacher appeared with the Sakuragaoka invitation. This wouldn't be happening if that hadn't occurred. That invitation is like Eden’s apple.

“Then, why don’t you take the plunge?”

“You say it like it’s easy!” Hiyori whined.

“Because you want to go, don’t you? It’s written all over your face. You’re easy to read, Hiyori.”

“I don’t think so. Tokyo is… scary. There are lots of people there. I’ll be alone, without any friends… I don’t know the streets or anything, I’ll get lost for sure!”

“But, you’ll be able to make as many friends as you like! You’re Hiyori.”

“But I’ll never be able to make a friend as good as you again, Sato-chan!”

Satoe laughed, shook her head and stood up. Her hair was messy.

“Hearing you say that makes me really happy, Hiyori,” she exclaimed with a booming voice.

“Okay, I've made up my mind! I'll go to the same school as Sato-chan. Never to a different one! It's decided, I'll reject the offer!”

Satoe laughed loudly, full of glee.

But then, her face turned serious.

“But… actually. I want you to go to Tokyo, Hiyori.”

“Eh…?”

“It'd be a waste to stay here in the countryside. I'm sure Tokyo is much more fun.”

“Sato-chan…”

“I want Hiyori to decide herself. Because it's you, Hiyori.”

But what about… us two?

She was confused, but Hiyori mumbled a “yes” as Satoe took out two small packets out of a bag.

“Which one do you choose?” She held up both packets for her and smiled.

They were pockys, a strawberry packet and a lemon one. Hiyori, worried about the hard choice, ends up taking one of each.

“Which is the best one~!” was her answer.

She laughed and bit both of them.

---

When classes finished for the day, she left the school building. The sky was getting more and more cloudy.

High school in Tokyo…

All her life, she'd thought she'd live in her hometown forever. She hadn't even imagined moving away.

But in the end… it's impossible, Sato-chan.

Hiyori looks down at the ground, walking.

Living alone in the city, going to highschool, it all sounded like a surreal future to her. She knew it would be really hard.

No matter how badly she wanted to go.

She heard a cheerful voice coming from the school’s courtyard and stopped walking. The members of the baseball and track and field clubs were practicing on their own. Hiyori and her friends had to retire, since their three years of middle school were over and they were about to graduate. Just a few days ago, though, they also had practice like that. As soon as classes were over, Hiyori remembered, she would change clothes as fast as she could to go to practice.

“It was fun…” The words left her mouth without noticing.

She was completely absorbed looking at the practice, imagining herself with the underclassmen.

Even if she had studied at a local middle school, those three years had been full of fun things. Laughing with her friends, the ones who would go to high school with her if she stayed in the countryside, without the anxiety of having to meet new people.

I know, but my heart yearns for somewhere else.

She was unable to forget her wish to study in Tokyo.

In Sakuragaoka there would be a track and field club and a teacher who would properly guide her. And she’d be able to keep running.

There’s also the want for a nice city environment. There will be a lot of things in Tokyo that I don’t have here. I’ll probably be able to do a lot of things I don’t have here.

Even if Hiyori thought it was impossible, thinking of a new world yet to explore made her excited.

I wonder if I can make it…

For that reason, she had lots of obstacles to overcome. Like convincing her parents.

“Oh, Suzumi-senpai!” A boy noticed her and waved his arms in the air exaggeratedly.

Hiyori walked towards the courtyard where the track and field club members were.

“Suzumi-senpai, are you going home already? Let’s practice together!”

“I’m retired now.” Hiyori laughed, a bit sad.

“Huhhhh,” the boy complained. “Then just watch our practice! Like one of the retired professionals! 

“Hum… I wonder if I can run one last lap...” Hiyori brought a hand to her chin, deep in thought.

It really would be her last race in middle school.

“Great! Okay, then I’ll time you!” a second year student exclaimed, holding a stopwatch. Some other club members offered to measure the distance.

Hiyori stood at the starting line and breathed in deeply while looking at the finish line. There, the boy was holding the stopwatch, while the other students observed the race from the side benches. 

Hiyori hadn’t brought her gym clothes or a T-shirt, so she still wore the school uniform. 

She kneeled on the ground and looked ahead. 

Her heart began to race. 

The whistle blew and Hiyori lunged forward.

Now, I’m still completely happy.

I have all my friends and classmates. My mom’s meals and lunchboxes are delicious. My grandpa secretly gave me an allowance and my grandma is really good at sewing; this year she made a new yukata for me. And my dad takes me fishing sometimes,

I’m sure I’ll have fun every day here.

If she went to the city, she was sure she’d be alone every day. Living alone would be much harder than she could imagine. She wouldn’t have friends or acquaintances. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get along with everyone at a high school in Tokyo. People might laugh at her and she’d be embarrassed.

But…

There surely was a much bigger world she didn’t know about.

After crossing the finish line, Hiyori breathed in deeply and looked up to the sky. The sun shone softly between the clouds.

Maybe I shouldn’t give up before trying…

---

During the holidays, Hiyori met with Satoe in the lakeside park where they used to play. The lake’s surface was dyed in the sunset’s colors, the wind making small ripples in the water.

They sat on a bench and Hiyori spoke up.

“Um, Sato-chan.”

“Yes, yes, I see.” Satoe crossed her arms and nodded, telling her to go on.

“I haven’t said anything yet!” Hiyori exclaimed, confused.

Satoe smiled at her.

“Yes, but I already know what you want to say, it’s written all over your face. You’ve decided to go to Tokyo, right?”

Hiyori felt her eyes begin to water and she quickly rubbed them.

Of course she knew, they were best friends. Or maybe Hiyori was just that easy to read?

“I’m sorry... Sato-chan, I do really want to go to the same high school as you!”

Hiyori felt like she was betraying someone and that made her heart ache. Hiyori wanted to go away, but Satoe grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the bench.

“I see… but, that’s no good! I won’t let you!”

“Satoe…”

“Because, Hiyori, if you go to that school, you’ll have lots of fun and forget about us!”

“I would never do that. You’re my best friend, Sato-chan, no one else. I’ll contact you every day!”

“... Or so you say, but what if you get a boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?!” Hiyori exclaimed, waving her hands. “Impossible! That won’t happen!”

“You’ll go to the city, you don’t know. Maybe you’ll meet a handsome guy, what will happen if he takes over all your free time?!”

“Eh, uh, aaahhhh, what should I… I don’t know…?”

Hiyori felt trapped, but her voice was calmer than before. She pressed her index fingers together nervous.

“After all we've been through, Hiyori will choose love over our friendship! As if everything so far had been a game!” Satoe covered her face with her hands.

“That's not true! All my feelings are about Sato-chan! I'd never do something like that!” Hiyori said very seriously, with a hand on her chest.

Satoe peeked at her through her fingers. Then, she put her hands down and broke out laughing, she couldn't hold it in anymore. Hiyori started laughing too and so they both laughed together till their stomachs hurt. Hiyori even started tearing up a bit, but wiped the tears quickly.

In that same place, she used to sit with Satoe and talk until the sun set. During elementary school, whenever she felt down because she couldn't place high during the tournaments, she'd sit here and cry with Satoe. She had thought they’d be together the next year, and the following one.

She felt lost. She’d been so worried about making a decision.

Their laughs quieted down and Hiyori felt sad again. Her shoulders dropped.

“Sato-chan…”

“Do your best, Hiyori. Don’t lose yourself.”

“Yes…”

“Hiyori, it’s fine. You’re strong.”

“I don’t think so…”

“You can survive till the end in any dangerous environment.”

“Yes… I won’t lose! No matter what!

“And I won’t lose my position as your best friend to anyone!”

“Yes… I won’t have a different best friend ever!”

“If you ever get a boyfriend, send me the first picture you take! You have to!”

“I’m sure… I don’t think I can!”

Hiyori and Satoe met each other’s eyes before bursting into tears.

“Hiyori…”

“Sato-chan!”

“Well, if that happens, then let’s eat a lot of sweets today! Let’s hang out!”

As she talked, Satoe opened her backpack and turned it outside down. Some packets with sweets fell out of it onto her knees, the same ones they had eaten the other day, lemon and strawberry pockys.

“Wow, Sato-chan, why did you buy so many?!”

“You see… if I collect 10 tickets I might win a signed poster! From these two…” Satoe said with a very serious face, clenching her fist tightly.

Then, she held both of Hiyori’s hands.

“Help me eat them… I have to eat and eat. Like an infinite strawberry-lemon loop! I bought an entire box with my pocket money. I really want the poster!”

“Yes but...  for a signed poster?”

“Hiyori, which one do you want? You can choose as many as you like!”

“The chocolate-banana ones are better…”

“There weren’t tickets on those though…”

They both opened the packets and began eating. The sunset shone over the lake’s edge.

---

Next spring was graduation.

Hiyori went to the courtyard when the ceremony was finished. The place where she had trained for so long.

“Thank you so much…” she whispered.

In that moment, she heard Satoe call out to her. Other track and field club members were running there too, everyone came.

“I’m glad I made it on time!”

“Sato-chan… what are you guys doing here?”

“Hiyori, you’re leaving for Tokyo tomorrow… so this is our farewell!!”

Satoe gave her a white box with a ribbon. Hiyori, confused, untied it and opened the box. A brand new pair of shoes.

“Umm…” Hiyori’s eyes were wide open as she looked at everyone, amazed.

“Because you’re the star of the track and field club!”

“Please, don’t forget about us!”

“Call me some time!”

Surrounded by exclamations and shy laughter, Hiyori felt her eyes water and she pressed the back of her hand against them. Her chest was full of words she couldn’t pronounce.

“Oh, don’t cry!  We’re holding our tears in!”

“Sato-chan, guys… Thank you! I’m glad I was able to run with all of you and join the track and field club.”

“Hiyori…! Someday I’ll go to Tokyo with my pocket money! I’ll go meet Yuujirou and Aizou!” Satoe hugged her tightly as she cried.

“Who are those guys?! You won’t be with me?!”

“Of course, I’ll go meet Hiyori. I’ll pull an all-nighter and we’ll go watch a live!”

“Oh, I see. I’ll be waiting for you! But I don’t know what live are you talking about.”

Wiping their tears and changing them for a smile, everyone hugged Hiyori.

A place she didn’t know. People she didn’t know. But she was sure there would be new encounters. She would be brave and take off running.

Of course, I’ll do my best.

“Guys… I’m off!”

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 3.5 - The Dog’s View and the Giraffe’s View

5. READY FOR SUMMER

You think Aoki reads shonen manga?

This is the end of the first half of the first season, a.k.a the first tankobon volume. I’ll be going on a short hiatus for a few week before coming back.

Stan Odacchi!

Previous || Index || Next

Thrusting a CalorieMate bar into his mouth and holding a sports drink in his hand, when he rushed to the washroom near the gym, he suddenly ran into Aoki. Aoki took one look at Oda’s face and widened his eyes for a moment, then cautioned him with a disgusted look on his face.

“You should stop it with that…in my opinion.”

“Can’t be helped. I didn’t have the time to eat lunch or go to the washroom.”

The CalorieMate had sucked up his saliva and was sticking to his mouth. He put the box that still had some left and the bottle on top of the urinal and lined up next to Aoki.

Immediately after serving as an assistant referee on the courtside, he immediately jumped into his own team’s match, served as an assistant referee again on the same court as soon as it was over, plus he had to keep an eye on the progress of the entire boys’ volleyball division, support the participants and instruct the other members… Needless to say, he didn’t have time to take a lunch break, and he wasn’t allowed to go to the washroom since morning. Still, Oda only had to watch the gym, but Aoki was frequently pulled back by runners from the executive committee’s tent on top of that. This was the first time he was able to make time to talk to Aoki face to face.

It was finally the day of the Seiin Ballgame Festival. Luckily, the last few days were breaks in the rainy season, and the event was held on a day that didn’t interfere with outdoor events. In fact, the weather was so favorable that the temperature has reached July-like levels, and the executive committee has been repeatedly urging people to be careful about heat stroke.

Boys’ volleyball had managed finish four of their six group games without incident on the stage side of the gym. According to gossip, from the first group Team C, led by Aoki, had two wins, and from the second group Team F, led by Oda, had two wins, so it had already been decided that they would clash in the finals. The remaining two games would be elimination games that didn’t make it past the preliminaries, whether they win or lose, but since points were added depending on the points won, the overall winner was still unknown.

“It’d be interesting if we train Okuma to be a center.”

Aoki said next to him as he relieved himself. As ever, Aoki’s shoulder was at the corner of his vision.

“Okuma’s on the rugby team, isn’t he?”

“Well, it’s just an idea. If we had a burly guy like that, we’d look a bit stronger, right? Suemori-san said boys’ volleyball is soft.”

“It’s all about looks?”

“It’s important to look scary, you know?”

Well, when he puts it that way, it’s true that even though Aoki is the tallest guy in school, he’s more “long” than “big,” so he doesn’t look all that burly. He’s a center whose traits are height and dexterity. Okuma’s likely to be a different type of center than Aoki though…

“Well, enough about Okuma. I want Haijima more.”

“You’re pretty fixated on Haijima.”

“What kind of guy wouldn’t fall in love with that play? You’ve seen him play two games, didn’t you?”

“I know he’s good, but that’s not enough. It’d be nice to have a character who can speak up and get the team going, but he’s the complete opposite of that. Your team isn’t attracting any amateurs, right? For events like these, it’s better to have a noisy guy like Okuma.”

“So you want Okuma more than Haijima? Aren’t you being pretty cold to him?”

He couldn’t help but sound grumpy. He understood Aoki’s objective point of view. However, he got angry when he was told things objectively.

“Hmm? No.”

Aoki’s voice was light, and his shoulders turned slightly towards him.

“I’m talking about the ballgame tournament. The captain of this team is you, and if that’s what you want, then I won’t object to it and cooperate with you. If you want, I can find Haijima’s weakness so he can’t refuse no matter what.”

“I don’t need that kind of shady business.”

When he glared at him sideways, his shoulders shook with laughter. “It’s a joke.” It’s scary because this guy actually does those things that seem like a joke.

“We don’t need Haijima’s weakness for him to join. The problem might be Kuroba. He’s doing well so far today, but I don’t know what’ll happen when he comes face to face with Haijima in the finals.”

“Just have them match up. A feud between freshmen would be all cleared up if they just punch each other once hard and tell each other their true thoughts, don’t you think?”

Aoki said carefreely while lightly shaking his hips up and down, then tucked his thing back in and left the urinal.

In the case of you and me, we missed our chance to go through the process of punching each other and saying our true thoughts, and now we’re here… Oda watched the tall silhouette disappear across the label of his plastic bottle with a look like he wanted to say something.

Even though he and Aoki had their disagreements, they always ended up sidestepping the issue instead of getting into a serious quarrel. Even though Aoki would attack others with a sharp tongue as much as he wanted if necessary, but when it came to Oda, he would take a step back. He didn’t have to retract his opinion if there was something about Haijima’s acquisition he didn’t like. I’m not such a tyrant that I won’t respect the opinion of the vice captain.

Oda still wasn’t convinced about how he was chosen as captain in the first place. Whenever Aoki gave him his due because he was the captain, it stimulated a deep sense of inferiority within him.

When the grade before them retired, Aoki was to be appointed as the next captain. He had a mild and calm personality, able to keep an eye on the whole team. He was the natural choice.

At the same time, Oda was advised to switch from attacker to libero. The introduction of the libero system had opened up a place for people with short statures to play an active role. They could only substitute with a back row player and couldn’t participate in the spikes and blocks in the front row, but a receive specialist was an essential position in modern volleyball. It wasn’t that the previous captain had any ill intent, but rather that he knew that Oda poured more passion into volleyball than anyone else.

However, right with that timing, Aoki jumped into the student council. As though he was purposely creating a situation where Oda was compelled to be the captain—he couldn’t hold an important position on the student council and be a team captain for club activities at the same time. That was why Aoki couldn’t take on the role of captain. And under the current rules, the libero couldn’t in effect be the captain. In other words, as long as Oda had no choice but to be captain, he couldn’t switch to libero. Oda truly felt humiliated at being stripped of the attacker position. Because Aoki had sensed that.

What’s with you? Was that pity for me, who never grew taller? Or was it the freedom of a tall guy? He was angry. However, he was unable to lay bare such ugly emotions in front of Aoki and in the end, it didn’t turn into a serious conflict at the time. The comfortable relationship that they had since they started high school had somehow created a wall instead, and there was an atmosphere where it would be too awkward to share their feelings at this point.

Although Aoki was his best friend and a trustworthy partner who was more easy to get on with than anyone, he also harbored a strangely twisted gloominess towards him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

It was awkward, so he purposely waited for Aoki to leave the washroom before he did so himself, but he saw a tall and narrow back staying in the corridor in front of the gym. From the other direction, Suemori appeared and suddenly spoke in a reproaching tone.

“Oda-senpai, why were you taking your time in the washroom? Please don’t make me wait here.”

“I don’t remember telling you to wait…You could have given me a shout if there’s anything to take care of.”

“I don’t want to go near the boys’ washroom.”

Oda nonchalantly put his hand behind him, feeling that the food and drinks he brought out from the washroom were dirty. I’ve been slightly thinking this for a while, but I wonder if Suemori hates men. But she seems to be able to talk to Kanno normally.

“So, what’s up?”

“The old teacher collapsed.”

Aoki answered in place of Suemori.

“What!?”

The advisor for the boys’ volleyball team was an elderly teacher, just as Aoki called him. They’ve heard that he was rehired on a part-time basis once he reached retirement age. Apparently, he used to play volleyball when he was a student, but the form of the game of volleyball should be quite different between then and now. He was like a fossil from his generation.

The advisor had been the referee for the entire competition without a break since this morning. Even they, as active high school students, were likely to collapse from the hectic bustle, so it would be even harder on the elderly.

It seemed that he was feeling dizzy from the heat due to the temperature in the gym having risen. They said it wasn’t serious, but the referee’s chair was now vacant. There were still three matches left. Either Oda or Aoki should be the referee for the remaining two games in the group league, but the problem was the finals where C and F would encounter each other. Since the other positions also had the bare minimum amount of people in them, there were no extra hands.

“Well, I’ll do it.”

Aoki said without missing a beat.

“Aren’t you competing?”

“I don’t mind. From the start, I prioritized administration, so if there’s not enough people, I was going to pull out and head over there, but…ah, there’d be a problem with me refereeing a match with my own team.”

“You say that, but there’s no other way. I want to give Kanno a chance to be in a game, and there’s no reason to bother pulling Kuroba out. On the contrary, isn’t the balance better now that we have two experienced people on each team?”

“Even if it was still three on two, we won’t lose. It’s not that…it’s no fun if you’re not gonna be playing.”

He felt like he was the only one being childish and having a tantrum at a time when everyone had to back each other up, and his voice got quieter and quieter. He couldn’t bear knowing that Aoki and Suemori were exchanging worried-looking glances over his head. But he still didn’t like Aoki’s quick and easy way of splitting them up. Was I the only one who was looking forward to the match…?

“If that’s the case, let’s make it a little more interesting.”

Aoki proposed in a light tone. When he looked up with suspicion in his eyes, Aoki had a pensive look on his face with a faint smile hovering at the corner of his mouth. He looked like that when he was about to plot something.

“In other words, you’re saying it’s boring because you’re not in it. In the first place, you say ‘take’, but do you even have their approval…?”

“I’ll persuade Okuma. Of course that’s if C wins. If F wins, you’ll persuade Haijima. However, if you lose, you’ll have to give up on Haijima once and for all. —Kuroba!”

Aoki suddenly yelled. Kuroba, who had suddenly been poking his head in from the metal doors on the gym side of the corridor, made a “Mrp” sound and ducked his head.

“You and Nagato both don’t want Haijima to join, right? You were listening in on our conversation just now. Since it’s like that, crush them to bits. Treat this match like a real game.”

***

The chief referee for the finals was Aoki. The assistant referee, the point displayer, and two linesmen were all members of the team who weren’t playing in the game. The other two linesman and the ball retriever were help from the girls’ team, including Suemori.

It was past four o’clock in the afternoon, but heat was coming down the roof, which had been scorched by the midday sun, and accumulated indoors. The windless court wasn’t just completely covered in heat, but also some kind of strangely oppressive atmosphere.

As the team members took their positions around the court, they sensed a strange tension in the court that went beyond a mere school event, and their expressions tightened. Only Aoki had his usual relaxed expression, and he wondered what he was scheming. The way the already-tall Aoki stood on the referee’s stand and looked down at the court already somewhat made it a “tower.”

There were some spectators gathered along the walls and on the stage. The gallery installed on the second floor was also overflowing with students in sportswear. He thought that since it coincided with the futsal and softball finals, the spectators would be drawn to that, but it seemed that a surprisingly large number of people had come just to watch. Across the partition net, on the other side of the court, the girls’ basketball game was being held. The random bouncing of a ball other than a volleyball was jarring to his ears—he might be getting a bit nervous himself. He shrugged his shoulders up and down to release the extra energy. He was already sweating just by standing.

Team F got the serve through rock-paper-scissors. Haijima would serve from the right back row, and Oda would start diagonally from him at the front left. The opposing Team C’s starting order had Kanno at the front right and Kuroba in the back left. With two volleyball veterans placed diagonally from each other and sandwiching and supporting the amateurs, both teams had the most suitable formation.

Kuroba, getting ready to receive, kept pulling at his T-shirt and wiping the sweat off his face an unusual number of times. He wondered if it was just his imagination that the movement of his legs seemed heavy. Even though he was always jumping around on the court even when there was no need for it, now his feet were clinging to the floor. He’s pretty nervous. The fact that the crowd was much bigger than for the group league no doubt played a role.

What are we going to do for this game? He felt like it had become a farce starring the boys’ volleyball team, but of course he wasn’t going to lose on purpose. We’re going for the win. It was out of the question to give up on getting Haijima because of a single loss in a in-school match. If that was the case, he shouldn’t have taken this bet, but it was also out of the question for Oda to not buy a fight that had been sold to him.

He called Haijima, who was heading for the service zone, to a stop and he turned around and asked him something.

“It’s okay now, right?”

“Yeah. Do it with all your power.”

He heard the sound of the safety lock inside Haijima disengaging. In the previous two games, Haijima was banned from doing jump serves. It would no longer be a game against an amateur team if he did so, and someone were to get hit in the face, they risked injury.

“…Eleven months.”

Haijima muttered in a low voice, cast his gaze to a point on the other side of the net and narrowed his eyes.

“Did he get a little better?”

He smiled faintly. The depths of his eyes were boiling, as though he was even taking in this heat and transforming it into a part of the heat within him. Stimulated by that fighting spirit, Oda also felt his entire body trembling.

Just you watch… He glared at Aoki, but couldn’t meet his gaze with Aoki on the referee’s chair.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Haijima’s jump serve even drew the eyes of the first-timer spectators. He placed the ball in his left hand, stretched his arm directly before him and stood still. A beat of dignified silence that took the watcher’s breath away. The moment he tossed the ball up high with a spin towards the ceiling, there was a big “Ooh.”

From his graceful and refined form, as though he was dancing in the air, he let loose a sharp jump serve. Contrary to the slickness of his form, Haijima’s serve was quite unpleasant. It had a unique twisting spin, partly due to him hitting left-handed, and the one who was receiving was under immense pressure. Drawing a curving arc, it accurately aimed for the area Kuroba, who was positioned in the back row, was guarding. Kuroba, who didn’t say he was good at serve receives, managed to hit it with his arms with a panicked look on his face. Fortunately, it went up high, so his teammate went right below it and waited. Who was going to hit it?

Was Kuroba, who received it, going to hit it himself?

“Right court!”

He was astounded by the instruction that came from the referee’s chair.

Oi, wait a minute!? Is that even allowed!?

The ball was set to Kanno on the right court. Oda jumped to block in surprise, but Kanno dexterously shifted the core of the impact and changed it to a straight spike from the angle of a cross-court hit. Tch, he’s good… The spike that was as sharp as a needle went through a narrow course.

While landing, he turned his head to follow the whereabouts of the ball. He thought it might have been on the border of the sideline, but Nagato the linesman didn’t hesitate to indicate that it was in. The person who enthusiastically shouted “Yes!” from outside the court in place of Kanno, who had landed soundlessly, was…Suemori. I get the feeling that there’s a lot of officials that are emotionally attached to the opponent’s side, but…?

Team C’s first point was engraved.

“Oi, why is the referee giving out instructions?”

He snapped at the referee’s chair.

“If there are any objections, you can write them down on the record sheet later.”  

Aoki said calmly, then quickly blew the whistle to prompt Team C to serve. There was no way they were going to prepare a record sheet used for official games for a ballgame tournament.

“Do it in one go, Haijima.”

He turned his back on the referee’s stand in indignation and said that aloud in order to calm himself down. However, Haijima only sullenly muttered, “You haven’t gotten any better at defense though,” and it seemed that he didn’t care about the noise around him or the subtle and complex actions of the staff members. The intensity of his concentration after entering the court was astonishing, but…he felt that he was slightly different from the previous two matches. Isn’t his mind too focused on one point?

At the end of where Haijima’s eyes were fixed on, Kuroba was, as ever, looking around restlessly while worrying about sweating profusely. The complete opposite of Haijima, his concentration was scattered. It was a face that screamed that Aoki’s implication was bad.

Team C, under Aoki’s instructions (which he still couldn’t wrap his mind around), had adopted the strategy of gathering the ball to Kanno. The scene where Kuroba hit didn’t return immediately, but even so, that scene came when it was 3-3 in the beginning, the rotation moved three at a time and Kuroba in the front right was directly facing Haijima in the front left over the net.

The first setting of this set came from Kanno to Kuroba.

At Haijima’s instructions, a triple block was set up. Oda in the back row prepared to back them up. “That’s a hell of a jump from that guy!?” The jumping power of Kuroba, who was high enough for his chest to comfortably show up over the net, made the crowd go wild. Completing the rotation of his shoulders by arching his whole body in midair, his body bent back and his arms swung out, as though releasing a nocked arrow. This dynamic spiking form, which could be called the splendor of volleyball, was the usual Kuroba, but…he’s not looking at the blockers at all. The ball didn’t pass over the net, getting caught on the white band and falling to Team C’s side.

Right when F-team took the lead with 4-3,

“Time out.”

The head referee requested a time-out.

Oi…I’ve never heard of this.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

“Why hasn’t he fixed that habit of his yet?”

Haijima turned on him as soon as they gathered courtside. Team C was making a circle around the tower that was Aoki. So why was the chief referee coming down from the referee’s stand and being on the bench of one team? After glaring at the other party who made his temple spasm, Oda turned back to Haijima.

“It already became solidified within him when he joined in April. There’s no problem in practice games, but he always gets like that when it’s a game with a lot of pressure, and to be honest, he’d be useless in an official match.”

For last year’s middle school prefecturals, Oda only went on the second day, so Kuroba, who apparently only participated on the first day, went unchecked. When he first joined the club, Oda was simply excited that an unexpected find had burst in. In fact, when he was used in the May practice match, he couldn’t find any problems. There was an inconsistent feeling to him, like he was developing, but his energetic play was pleasant to watch, and his strangely likeable character also helped to energize the whole team.

Although they haven’t acquired Haijima yet, he was confident that their attacker lineup was in good order with this, and then the prefectural tournament in the start of June—

The god of volleyball seemed to like secretly digging pitfalls.

An odd habit had begun to show up. He either failed his spikes entirely that got caught by the blocks and got himself out, or it got trapped by the net. It wasn’t like his form was messed up, but he couldn’t settle it. Even when he asked the person in question, he vaguely answered with a somewhat spaced-out expression, like his feet weren’t on the ground, that even he didn’t know why it was like that.

“…Why…”

Haijima grumbled, glaring at his feet with a gaze that could scorch through the floor.

“Stumbling over something like that…”

Haijima, that’s exactly how I feel about you, Oda thought. If you ask me, I’m jealous of the both of you, and just looking at you makes me irritated.

“Hey, we have to do something about him. It seems that it has something to do with Nagato and the second round of the middle school prefecturals?”

At this point, I should create a front that would make Haijima take a step closer to us, even forcibly. Thinking that, he tried inducing him.

“The middle school prefecturals…?”

Haijima raised his head and furrowed his brow.

“Sometimes players fail in their debut matches and suddenly fall to pieces.”

“They said it was my fault? But…”

His voice jumped up for an instant. He immediately closed his mouth sullenly and looked down again, fiddling with the taping on his fingers in front of his stomach. He thought of him as a player who didn’t have the habit of making other people read his mind, so that behavior was unexpected.

“What was I supposed to do…I was waiting, on that day…but, he was the one who didn’t come…”

He felt like the view before him was suddenly blocked by a thin, but hard, shell.

***

Even after the timeout, Kuroba’s play was lackluster. It would have been excusable if he had been blocked by the volleyball team members, but he was messing up because he was minding the blocker, who was an amateur ten centimeters shorter than him and just standing in front of him. Really, when he was good, he was great, but once his gears went out of whack, he quickly fell apart on his own. To be honest, he thought it was better for him to withdraw, but Aoki, Team C’s captain as well as the referee (this dual role was strange no matter how you look at it), didn’t seem like he was going to replace him.

He could see the frustration building up in even Haijima every time Kuroba made a mistake. Even so, the thing that differentiated Haijima from Kuroba was that his play never wavered, or rather, became frighteningly sharp. Not necessarily in a good sense, as he even covered his teammates’ minor mistakes all by himself and ended up excluding the amateurs. It felt like the sullen aura emanating from Haijima’s entire body made it seem as if the temperature on only their side of the court had dropped down a notch. It was out of the control of even Oda and he called to him less and less, and he thought that he could imagine the atmosphere in the second round of the prefectural tournament Nagato was talking about now.

His irritation towards the two who didn’t appreciate at all the value of the treasures that had been given them became stronger. If it were those two, there was no doubt that they would be able to stand at the forefront for the next ten or twenty years. Was it asking too much of freshmen to be less small-minded when they had such high physical potential? But, if he had those two’s potential, he definitely wouldn’t waste it. A super-ace who was trusted by his team for his solid decision-making ability as well as enlivening the team as a mental pillar…He knew that he couldn’t be that kind of player anymore, but he still dreamed to this day.

The fifteen-point system was shorter than he expected. When Haijima rotated from the back row to the front row and match-upped against Kuroba with the net between them again, they entered the final stage of the first set. Kuroba, obviously bending back, took a receiving stance like he was shrinking away from the net. While glaring at Kuroba’s disgraceful behavior with a gaze that could burn the net to ashes, it was perhaps at this moment that a circuit somewhere in Haijima’s mind snapped.

The serve was Oda’s. His thoughts were so focused on the two of them that his aim was a bit fuzzy, so the easy and half-hearted ball ended up falling right in the middle of the opponent’s court. He ran back to the court, fed up with himself as he thought that he might not be better than Kuroba today. That was when it happened.

“Hit the ball, Kuroba!”

Haijima shouted. His carrying voice suddenly pierced through the court where all talking had decreased, and everyone on his own team was startled.

As in the first round, the set flew from Kanno to Kuroba. Almost as if by spinal reflex, Kuroba suddenly did a run-up and leapt. Haijima blocked it perfectly.

However, this time as well, Kuroba’s spike didn’t even go over the net before it was blocked.

They both landed on the floor at the same time, the net between them. Right then,

“Stop screwing around!”

Haijima kicked the floor right after he yelled that, and then barged into the other court from under the net and tackled Kuroba. At this unbelievable situation, Oda froze in the receive stance, unable to move. It’s different for baseball game broadcasts, but I’ve never seen a brawl at a volleyball game, and I didn’t think he was the type to lose his temper like that!?

Everyone on his own team was dumbfounded, and everyone on the other team jumped out of the way, startled. After blowing Kuroba all the way to the center of the court, Haijima immediately went to straddle him and grabbed him up by the collar as Kuroba was hitting his back and coughing.

“Don’t run away! At least give one decent shot! If you’re this nervous for just a ballgame tournament, you’re not cut out for this, so just quit!”

He was yelling at him, looking like he was about to bite his nose off.

Kuroba’s back lifted off the floor.

“Hey…stop it, Haijima!”

Oda came to his senses and hurriedly passed under the net.

Right when he was about to pin Haijima’s arms behind his back, Kanno wedged himself in between them and said, “Senpai.” While keeping Oda back, Kanno looked at the referee’s stand. Oda widened his eyes and looked up at the stand, where he saw Aoki leaning against the top of the pole and grinning down at the two first-years on the floor.

“If they had just one big fist fight and told each other how they really felt…” Their conversation in the washroom flashed across his mind.

Hah!? No way, don’t tell me you were expecting this!?

Kuroba, who he thought was just going to let this happen, surprisingly grabbed Haijima’s wrist and yelled back.

“I’ve never been in a game where I had to lose successfully, and I don’t know how to do that, so of course I’m not cut out for this!”

“What are you talking about…”

Haijima was speechless. Kuroba, hesitating to say further, glared at Haijima at point-blank range as he moved his lips soundlessly. Then, he suddenly cast down his eyes, drew in his chin, and pressed his fist that was grabbing the front of Haijima’s chest to his forehead. It looked like a gesture of prayer.

“…’Cause, he said that you’d come back if we lost… Hey, isn’t this enough… Come back already…”

Come back already.

Those were words that Oda couldn’t think of or say in his position. They made him realize he didn’t need any pretense, and that all he needed was such clumsy, straightforward words.

Haijima, having lost his outlet for anger, just looked bewildered. His face, looking like those straightforward words didn’t penetrate his stubborn heart very well, made Oda irritated again.

“Hai…”

Right when he was about to interject, unable to keep quiet anymore,

Beep!

“Oh, you guys done yet? It looks like you guys pretty much said it all.”

A fake cough and Aoki’s voice, dampening the tension, came down from the referee’s stand.

“If that’s the case, the two of you, leave the court.”

He said, calmly holding up a red card.

“Fighting in volleyball is unheard of. And freshmen, don’t say that this is just a ballgame tournament, because this is a lively event that I worked myself to the bone to prepare for without sleeping. They really do need to pay me for this.”

***

After seeing the overall results at the administration tent with his own eyes, he returned to the gym. The gym, where the partition net was removed and cleanup had ended, was empty, but the net and poles still remained on only the stage-side court where the boys’ volleyball match had taken place. It was as if only the net wouldn’t admit that the match was over. The enthusiasm for the finals that had engulfed the court had now been cooled by the evening air, and he suddenly felt lonely.

There was a figure standing before the net. Like the net in front of them, it seemed like they still wanted to continue the match. Well, he was kicked off the court after doing one set, so I guess I can’t blame him for wanting to rampage more. The taping on his hands hanging down on the sides of his body still haven’t been undone yet.

“Haijima.”

Though his back reacted slightly to his call, he didn’t attempt to turn around. He goes at his own pace, eh. Oda smiled wryly as he approached him.

“They didn’t put the net away?”

“I asked them to leave it. I’ll put it away.”

Just like on the first day of team practice one week ago, Haijima lifted his chin and looked straight at the white band of the net. The sunlight shining through the window weakened and it dimmed considerably in the gym, but he could see a light in his eyes. A dazzling light that welled up within Haijima, as though he couldn’t contain his feelings of dissatisfaction.

“This wasn’t set up at 2.4?”

“Oh, we only raise it to 2.43 at the finals. ‘Cause it’s a game full of experienced players.”

With his hand on the net, stroking it sideways, Oda walked to the edge of the court and put his hand on the pole. Since the protective mat was removed, his palm touched the cold metal directly. The surface of the old bronze-colored pole was rough with copper rust stuck to it.

“We’re going to a family restaurant for the team’s afterparty, so meet us at the school gate at six-thirty. Don’t worry, us third-years are paying.”

“Please don’t count me in.”

He was given an annoyed reply. There are still not enough reasons? Oda sighed. Even though it’s so obvious that he’s longing to play volleyball, what exactly is holding him back? Is there something else besides the Monshiro Middle incident? This guy who’s fundamentally arrogant and seems to not care about other people’s feelings is clearly afraid that something is going to happen.

“You know, volleyball really is a sport that chooses people. Well, what you do in it depends on the person. It’s not a sport where you can carry the ball by yourself, and even if one person is skilled, you can’t win. I’ve told you this before. Remember it.”

“I got kicked in my ass.”

Since Haijima was pouting with a bitter look on his face, a laugh unintentionally slipped out of his mouth as he recalled it. He immediately stopped when Haijima was getting more and more sullen.

“There’s also the fact that the difference in our sizes frankly makes me cry. It’s a cruel story, isn’t it. No matter how hard a guy like me works, even if I think I won’t lose in athletic ability, skill, attitude, or anything, I just can’t beat a big guy in that one factor, height. Why did I fell for volleyball, of all things?”

Too many of the words people hurled at him came from his own mouth. When he explained it to people, they made doubtful faces and couldn’t sympathize with him very much, so these days he had learned to ignore that kind of talk. Aoki wouldn’t understand this much either. They might show their understanding for me, but they wouldn’t have any sympathy for me.

Haijima didn’t worry over his answer. He tilted his head, as though thinking,　This guy’s asking something weird, and stated it definitively. He said it like he was talking about the completely natural activities of living beings, like saying,　Don’t calves stand up after they’re born?

“Isn’t it because there’s nothing more interesting than volleyball?”

Aah…I knew it.

I had a feeling he’d say that. What’s for us, the very simple truth of the world.

I wanted words from someone other than me. I wanted someone to affirm to me that it’s okay for even someone like me to be devoted to something. If a man with much more talent than me, who possibly loves volleyball more than me, said that to me, then I can believe that the time I dedicated to volleyball was never a waste.

Is there anything in this world that is as interesting as this, that can make me as passionate as this? The exhilaration when you release a powerful spike. The feeling of solidarity when a brilliant combination play is executed. The sense of accomplishment when you persevere and break away a rally with your teammates. The feeling of conquest when you force the opponent’s ace to yield with a kill block. That intoxication, when your concentration is at its peak and the team’s hearts are one, and you can clearly see the ball’s trajectory as an unbroken line——

Something hot welled up in his throat, and he suddenly felt like crying. But, it was too early for that. He still hadn’t accomplished anything yet.

So he bared his teeth and smiled instead.

“That so? Well, for me, I love volleyball to death. It’s the only thing where I’m confident that I won’t lose to anyone.”

It was funny that Haijima countered with an extremely serious expression, “I won’t lose either.”

“…Haijima. To be honest, it was for my convenience that I wanted you to join. I’m a third year now. Even so, I want to play as many games on the court as possible, even if it’s just one game. Even if it’s just for a day…even just for a minute, just a second, I wanna play volleyball. Can I borrow your strength for that reason? All of your strength…”

Wouldn’t I get the opposite result with that way of talking? No, it’s fine. These words shouldn’t make Haijima build a wall around himself. He seems to be terribly stoic to me and everyone else, but he won’t reject someone who’s facing volleyball seriously. Ultimately, it wasn’t about whether you were skilled or not, or whether you were tall or short. Whether you are serious about volleyball or not—that was the only line Haijima drew.

That’s why there was no reason to hesitate to step in. I’m holding the key to the door.

He really felt like he was gripping a small key in his right hand. Of course, when he opened his palm, there was no key actually there. However, he turned to Haijima and held out his hand as though to show it to him.

“Won’t you believe in me, Haijima?”

Haijima was silent for a while, staring at Oda’s hand with downcast eyes. He loosened his tied lips.

“…Spring Inter-High.”

A whisper slipped from his mouth.

“…You’re serious about going there, I see. A weak team that has never won a proper game within the prefecture is aiming for it, thinking they can seriously go there. The 2.43 meter net is for that reason, I see.”

Those eyes with a sharpness that seemed to pierce through anything before them were directed towards Oda’s face. He was surprised that something he only mentioned briefly a week ago seemed to have remained in Haijima’s mind. However, he was also convinced that just showed how strong his feelings were. By all rights, he shouldn’t be the kind of athlete who was stuck smouldering in a place like this.

He wasn’t saying it in a way that was making fun of him. On the contrary, if he was the one who poked fun at him even slightly or was ambiguous in his answer, he would without a doubt slap his hand away on the spot.

Neither deception nor half-hearted seriousness was allowed in front of this guy.

“Yeah. Now, all the actors are in place. I seriously believe that this year’s Seiin will definitely become a team that can go to Nationals.”

Oda also looked back into Haijima’s eyes with a piercing gaze and answered.

If you take this hand, I will have to meet your expectations with all my power. I’ll repeat it again with force in order to convey that resolve. There’s no need for complicated reasons. I’m sure that only straightforward words would reach his heart.

“I want you to believe in me. Lend me all of your strength.”

***

“Why the hell are you smiling? Did Haijima say he was going to join?”

Aoki jeered at him when he stopped by the administration tent. Am I smiling? Oda wondered, patting his cheeks. He might be.

“Who knows. Well, he’ll be coming to the next practice, won’t he?”

“Hoo. Personally, I don’t like it, but well, that’s good I guess.”

Aoki said that in a twisted and unstraightforward way. Oda, while wondering in astonishment, Weren’t you the one who set this up?, dragged a free folding chair over and sat diagonally across from Aoki. He leaned over the long table, thrusted his face at him and lowered his face, as though it was an interrogation in a detective drama.

“So, from when and how much of it all was within your calculations? Since you brought up that betting match in front of Kuroba, right? Since you stirred me up by saying you were more interested in Okuma than Haijima? No way, you’re not gonna say you were the one who arranged for Haijima to be in volleyball, are you? I don’t think it’s possible, but does that mean the ballgame tournament itself is a huge charade…”

“I must be the world’s greatest swindler then. You’re giving me too much credit. Originally, I planned to have Team F win the championship, and I wanted to go to the lodging house on the refreshing highlands and getting Haijima while we’re at it…that was all I was thinking. Well, the dream of the highlands lodging house is completely gone now. I really did want to go there.”

All but one of the administration tents that were lined up with their eaves side by side in a corner of the first sports ground were dismantled, and the lower grade members of the executive committee were clearing away the steel frames and sheets while bickering noisily. All of their voices had a listlessness to them, like they had finished burning, and they didn’t sound grating to his ears. Rather, the noise soaked pleasantly into his tired body.

On the grounds, members of the baseball club were doing somersaults. The clock tower behind the back net displayed the time of 6:15. The brightness of the sky dimmed, and grey clouds started to appear. According to the forecast, apparently it was still going to be clear during the day, but the rainy season was going to return during the night. There was the scent of approaching rain. The warm wind, which contained moisture, made his arms and body sticky again after his sweat had finally receded.

The uncoated paper with the overall results for today was posted on the tent’s support. If he thought that there was more enthusiasm about this year’s championship than last year, there was apparently a secret prize that was going to be given to the supreme general of the winning team. The contributor was the executive committee—of course Aoki was the one who was holding the wallet. That prize was the group accommodation at a lodging house on a highland area in the prefecture for summer vacation. It was a form of taking advantage of the fact that the captains of the major sports clubs were spread out across each of the third year classes and stirring up the competition between each team.

In the boys’ volleyball division, Oda’s Team F defeated Team C to win the championship. The referee Aoki’s blatant support for Team C in the first half was camouflage, and after ejecting the two first-years, he devoted himself to making fair and impartial judgements in the second half—or that was how it seemed. Skillfully weaving in a few advantageous judgements for Team F, he manipulated the outcome. He’s a crook through and through…but since it’s a school event, I can just barely forgive him, but if he pulled this kind of thing somewhere else, I’ll be done with him.

However, they didn’t perform so well in the other events, and in the end, Team F had to settle for second place overall. The guesthouse on the highlands was to be given over to another club.

“Aaah, I guess we’ll have to do it at school this summer too. It’ll be harsh without air conditioning though.”

“You know, you’re pretty practical even though you don’t look it…”

“Dunno what you mean by not looking practical, but I’ll accept the compliment. Well, the things you can get with cheap tricks aren’t that important, and there are plenty of things you can’t get...” a loud yawn slipped out from his wide mouth.

“Are you going to the after party? The first and second-years worked hard today, so we gotta thank them.”

“Sorry, but I’ll have to pass. I don’t mind splitting the money in half. I didn’t sleep for three days to finish up preparations.”

“Three days? And yet you managed to get in two games.”

“It’d be tough to do three games. When the old teacher collapsed, I thought in my head, ‘I’m saved.’”

He leaned back deeply on his folding chair, causing it to creak, and when he bent his neck and tilted it left and right, there was a cracking sound. Though he wondered if it was okay to speak that way about an elderly person, it seemed that after he rested in the infirmary for nearly an hour, he had readily recovered and went along with the teachers to their after-party, so perhaps it was okay for Aoki to say that, considering all his toil.

During this ball game tournament, which included preparations, while Oda was just saying he wanted Haijima like a spoiled brat, just how hard was Aoki working, even using his influence, for the sake of the whole team? When it came to Haijima, even though he wasn’t supposed to have agreed to it, he considered Oda’s feelings and took action like it was a matter of course. It had completely slipped from his mind, but it was time to think about summer training camps.

Since they knocked on the door of the boys’ volleyball club in April two years ago, he had helped him one-sidedly until now. The prodigy who had student council duties, and who on top of that could get accepted to Kyoto University, probably had any number of things he could do besides volleyball, unlike Oda. He felt a deep sense of guilt that because he invited him that day—because they were “Aoki” and “Oda”, an unexpected intrusion ended up coming into Aoki’s life.

“Ah, hey…thanks for everything…”

It was too embarrassing to say it now after two years, and he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was grateful for the gap between their lines of sight right then. Every time he was covered for, it only deepened his own sense of inferiority, and he had never thanked him face-to-face until now.

Good grief, it’s not just my outside, I’m also tiny and worthless on the inside.

“But, sorry…you’re going to have to go along with my selfishness for just a little longer.”

His debt would increase even more in the future. It seemed that Aoki won’t be able to concentrate on his exams for a while yet.

“…That’s just like you.”

Aoki mumbled to himself, his head still turned away. From Oda’s position, he could only see his chin moving slightly, and he had no idea what expression he had on his face.

“You’re giving me too much credit. I’m feeling guilty now. Playing volleyball with you is what I want to do right now, and I’m not doing it unwillingly. I don’t need to be thanked at all. I’ve been saying this since before, but me not liking Haijima is completely my personal feelings, and I’m the one who’s just being selfish. I don’t really care about going to university or not, and I don’t mind if you want me to lower my rank so we can go to the same place…I’m basically just driven by my ulterior motives.”

“Ulterior motives?”

There was the sound of water drops hitting the roof of the tent. The people working outside the tent looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “It’s starting to rain?”

“…You don’t have to understand.”

Aoki raised his head slowly, like a giraffe stretching its neck to find leaves that were just right, and stifled another yawn. Then, he turned towards him and lifted the edge of his mouth. 

“Let’s go to Spring Inter-High. I’ll follow you until the end.”

For Oda, that thin, ironic smile was more reliable and trustworthy than anything. 

The prefectural preliminaries would start at the end of September, two months later. If they won there, his retirement would be extended until the final representative deciding match in November. And if they managed to win the representative deciding match, then it would be until the nationals in January——. Just one game more. Just a day, a minute, a second longer. In order to delay the “end” just a little bit longer, they third-years would clumsily make every effort with all their ability.

When the rainy season ended, their final summer would arrive. There was no doubt that that summer would be like a condensed version of the rest of their lives after graduation. His doubts about his career path cleared up. He would put all he had into everything he could do and wanted to do right now. He didn’t care if the next few decades would be the rest of his life. Even if he burned out here and had nothing left within him, he wouldn’t regret it now.

Previous || Index || Next

[sayuricorner]

Ever After High x Twisted Wonderland AU  Headcanons part 8

Part 7        Part 9

AU concept

MASTERLIST

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing!

This part will focus on Raven’s, C.A. Cupid’s and Poppy’s twisted Wonderland profile and as well on some headcanons of them with the Pomefiore dorm and the school.

Characters profiles:

Name: Raven Queen

Gender: Female

Age: 15-16

Birthday: November 25

Starsign: Sagittarius

Height: 165 cm

Eye color: purple

Hair color: Dark with purple shades

Homeland: White kingdom

Dorm: Pomefiore

School year: first year

Occupation: Student

Club: Light music club

Best subject: Music

Dominant hand: Left

Favorite food: Salted caramel

Least favorite food: Anything too spicy (ex: hot sauce)

Dislike:  Doing what is “hexpected” of her aka being the new Evil Queen

Talents: Singing and music in general

“Everything is so differents from all what I though I knew, but this school do to me one thing Ever After High never do: it give me the opportunity to make my own destiny!”

In bonus, here’s some illustrations and fan arts of Raven in the AU done by the amazing and talented @zebrabaker​ and @icant-choosename-help​ ! ^^

Raven Queen(made with Dolldivine) by @zebrabaker​ as she is presented in their fanfiction “Choosing Destiny” go read it and their others fanfics as well please their writtings are amazing! ^^

Raven Queen as a Pomefiore student draw by @icant-choosename-help​  you can see this fan art’s post by clicking on this link and please take time to also check their others arts they’re an awesome artist! ^^

-----------------------

Name: C.A. Cupid

Gender: Female

Age: "old as teenage love"

Birhtday: November 24

Starsign: Sagittarius

Height: 165 cm

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Pink

Homeland: Olympus

Dorm: Pomefiore

School year: First year

Occupation: -Student

                    -Presenter at the school’s radio station

Club: School’s radio station(she’s the founder of that club)

Best subject: Mythology history

Dominant hand: Right

Favorite food: Cupcakes

Least favorite food: Can’t eat some fresh fruits, vegetables or nuts unless they’re baked(Headcanon I made up: she had a pollen-food syndrome that she contract because of her pollen allergy)

Dislike: Not being able to help someone’s love problems

Hobby: Give love related advices to her peers

Talents: love advisor 

“In those troubled times some people’s hearts become troubled as well, with time they will heal and I’ll make sure to help!”

-------------------

Name: Poppy O'Hair

Gender: Female

Age: 15-16

Birthday: june 19

Starsign: Gemini

Height: 165 cm

Eye color: Blue-cyan-green

Hair color: Auburn with half dyed purple

Homeland: White kingdom

Dorm: Pomefiore

School year: First year

Occupation: Student

Club: Fashion club( she’s the founder of that club)

Best subject: Art

Dominant hand: Left

Favorite food: Chicken wings

Least favorite food: Liver and onions

Dislike: Being restraint in her creativity

Hobby: Fashion

Talents: Fashionnista

“New school, new horizons and a new page to my story!”

Raven Queen at Pomefiore:

-The first times at Pomefiore and NRC in general were a bit akward for Raven mainly because of the cultural shock.

-Her dormmates were very nice but them over complimenting her was very akward to her so at first she mainly hang out with Epel.

-With Vil at first things were not simple, you see, he was VERY extasic to had the direct descendant of the Beautiful Queen in his dorm so he was often rambling to Raven about how an honor it was to have her in Pomefiore, how great the Beautiful Queen was and how proud she must be to had the Beautiful Queen as her ancestor.

-This make Raven really unconfortable, she don’t know what answer to this all her life her lineage was paint to her as just being evil and now she was ina place where the Evil Queen was see as a hero. Honestly she don’t know how to process all this.

-This and she had some diseagrements with him about his obsession with beauty.

-As for Rook, well, he was nice with a charming but again: over-complimenting a bit annoying and in his case to the umpteenth power as if she suddenly become Apple.

-However she prefer not tell them about her disconfort ‘cause she’s scare to sound rude and offend them so she keep it to herself.

-At one moment, Epel took her aside to talk to her ‘cause he notice for a time that she seemed to be bothered by something.

-After he insisted, Raven finally explain to him what was wrong.

-After she said her piece about everything, Epel, rather shocked about what Raven gone through at her former school, was about to say something when they suddenly facing two shocked Vil and Rook who hear everything.

-Raven was about to say something only to be cut by Vil who say to her with a worried voice something like “You silly potatoe! Why didn’t you tell us a thing?”

-The four then got a long conversation during which they set the record stray:

1)She wasn’t in her former school anymore nobody is going to scold her for being who she want to be.

2)What her former headmaster and her former classmates tried to force her to do was wrong and she was in the right to stood up for herself.

3)She don’t had to be scared to tell what she think.

4)They’re her dormmates and by so if she had a problem or anything which is on her mind she can come see them for help.

5)”And please don’t be a stupid potatoe next time you feel like this and come to us to talk about it! Keeping all those negative emotions to yourself is not healthy at all!”

-Raven was surprised by hown this turned but she was also happy they didn’t reject her.

-After this conversation her relationship with her dormmates get better.

-The others classmates even noticed that Vil was strangely more and more invested into Raven’s well-being.

-Like for exemple, she show big problems of control of her magic? Vil go explain the situation to the headmaster in order for Raven to had tutoring with a experimented student to learn to control her magic.

-Or when some students surprised her singing and Cater even recorded her telling how good her singing is and that she should try the light music club? Vil made Rook fetch Raven(of course in a Rook style and by that I mean “take Raven by surprise and bring her to Vil while holding her like a bride”) and after discussing it with her he encourage her to join the light music club if she want.

-The others students joke that Vil act as a brother version of a mother hen even if Vil deny it. But one thing is clear in the students mind: whatever Vil is deny it or not Raven was now Vil’s honorary little sister.

C.A. Cupid at Pomefiore:

- Although she is still shaken about what happen with Apple at Ever After High, Cupid is intrigued by her new school, curious about the new possibilities to help people’s heart.

-She’s also very happy to see Raven once again and to be in the same dorm than her.

-When she learn that Pomefiore is based on the heavy efforts of the Beautiful Queen she though that that fit her perfectly, ‘cause after all the beauty of the heart is also an amazing thing and she put many great efforts in it.

-She barely get into Pomefiore that she begin to give advices to people who seemed to need it.

-Quickly words about her goes around the school and soon many others students came to see her for an advice.

-Face to all those students wanting her advices Cupid decided to re-create her radio show so like this students from NRC would be able to ask her for advices and got an direct answer.

-After talking about it to the headmaster Crowley and recruting some students she found the Night Raven College’s radio station.

-The radio got different show, Cupid’s is about love advice.

-In a matter of time the new school’s radio become very popular among the students.

Poppy O'Hair at Pomefiore:

-When she entered in the Night Raven College, Poppy was rather wary.

-She an undirect victim of Apple ‘cause she targered Holly accusing the girl to be too beautiful and to knew about the "Snow White” story too much to her taste.

-Because of this Poppy is very worried about Holly’s well-being, even after their transfer,  so when the sisters have been sorted in two different dorms she wasn’t at ease at all.

-Fortunatly Raven reassured her many times to not worry about Holly and that she will be fine at Octavinelle.

-She often go find her sister at lunch time to ensure herself that Holly was okay.

-To vent her stress Poppy begin to draw fashion designs more than usual to keep herself mentally busy.

-One day she looked at all the designs she created, she made so many of them, so many she want to make real.

-Unfortunatly the only way to make it possible would be through a club, but  there’s no fashion club in NRC.

-Then she think “if there’s no fashion club then why not creating one?”

-So with her new objective she gather all informations she need to create her club.

-She prepared all the documentation, found students, mainly from her dorm, who were interested to be members including Lizzie and Ashlynn.

-She then present her project to the teacher who she heard could be a potential teacher councelor for the club: Divus Crewel.

-When the teacher took a look at Poppy’s club project he become interested and told her he will present the project to the headmaster and will accept to be the councelor of this club if it approved.

-Some times later an hyperactive Divus Crewel burst in headmaster Crowley’s office while screaming “DIRE YOU NEED TO APPROVE FOR THE CREATION OF THIS CLUB RIGHT NOW!”

-And so the fashion club was officialy created

-The club took comissions from others students which with the money allow them then to create bigger projects.

-Even though Vil is not a member of the club he often model for them.

-He even post pictures of himself wearing the fashion club’s creations on his MagiCam giving the club a big exposure.

-Soon the fashion club become very popular and the school even turn to the club for making clothes for school events.

-Poppy even get commissions from celebrities.

TAG LIST :( a reblog will get you a place in the tag list! ^^)

@virgil-is-a-cutie​ , @zebrabaker​ , @icant-choosename-help​ , @twistedwonderlxnd​ , @cowardlybravette​ , @iwilldietomorrowyees​ , @balsae​ , @shinypainterkid​ , @biscuitbirdpeach​ , @feuilleszuyu​ , @pale-lady-dreamer​

[justalarryblog]

🖐And I know he’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb by @capturethesunset (3k) | Not Rated

Louis getting wrecked by jealous Harry.

🖐When I hear your cries, praying for life. (I will be there) by @brokenbeauty (5k) | Explicit

Well, I figured we needed Larry birthday sex, soooo….. ;))))

🖐hop hop hop by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Suddenly, Harry’s slipping down his jeans, and Louis gasps as he’s met with a very unexpected but delicious sight. A mass of fur nestles between Harry’s cheeks, matching with the pink of the inner part of his bunny ears.

Or, the one in which Harry wears bunny ears and a bunny butt plug and Louis proceeds to fuck him.

🖐St. Austin’s School for Boys by @domtommo, @winsomefreak (100k) | Explicit

St. Austin’s School for Boys is a correction school for young men that uses corporal punishment as their means of discipline. After one too many infractions, Harry Styles is sent there till graduation. Upon arriving Harry meets his dorm advisor who also happens to be the first year sex-education teacher and footie coach, Louis Tomlinson. Harry falls in absolute adoration for the teacher and is all too ready to drop down onto his knees for him. During his stay he learns some very interesting things about himself… Welcome to St. Austin’s School for Boys, where the hallways are filled with love, drama, and sex.

Part 1 of St. Austin’s School for Boys

🖐jump in the deep end by @istajmaal (4k) | Explicit

Louis’s stomach lurches as he closes the last bit of distance, Harry’s nose settling between his arse cheeks and pushing them apart. Harry’s lips brush against the puckered skin around Louis’s hole in a kiss and Louis lets out a whine so high-pitched he barely recognizes it as coming from himself—what if I’m not clean enough, what if Harry hates it, what if Harry pushes me away—but then Harry’s long, wet tongue swoops in a circle around Louis’s rim and Louis feels like all the breath is knocked out of him. He grabs for Harry’s hand, still digging into his thigh, and squeezes over it, until Harry releases his vice grip on Louis’s thigh and laces his fingers through Louis’s.

or, Louis’s arse is a sensitive subject, so Harry approaches it gently. With his tongue.

🖐Yes Daddy, I Will by @recklessandbrave (9k) | Explicit

Louis smirks, arms crossed while admiring the scene in front of him. He had Harry exactly where he wanted him; desperate while blindfolded and tied up, and he was loving it. He feels drunk off the sight of his boyfriend spread out for him, naked, hard, and needy.

Or the one where Harry distracts Louis while he works and gets the punishment he deserves, and so badly wants.

Part 1 of Pastel

🖐strawberry milk fic by @Wankerville (158k) | Explicit

“So here’s the thing,” he starts. “I didn’t mean what I said a few weeks ago to like, hurt your feelings or anything. If you like painting your nails, then you should do that, and not like, care if anyone else doesn’t like it because their opinions shouldn’t matter, you know?” Louis takes a breath, finally glancing over to see the boy wide-eyed and pink-cheeked. On a whim, he adds, “And like, I noticed you scraping it off and you haven’t been wearing any and I think you should because that’s what you like.” or an au where harry paints his nails and drinks strawberry milk and is too nervous for it to be nothing and louis’ just trying to figure out whats wrong with him

🖐One for Luck by @leavingonatrain (96k) | Explicit

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles’ deep, deep voice, he’s just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he’s officially back on Great Britain’s Olympic team. He’s also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there’s a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life’s grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

🖐driving instructor fic by @LoadedGunn (104k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who’s really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

🖐His Submission Series by tonystankyall (orphan_account) (152k) | Mature

Louis Tomlinson lives in a world where Domination and Submission is a norm. When you are born you are either branded Sub or Dom. Subs get a little pink or blue, depeneding on gender, series of swirls on the back of their neck. Doms get Red or Black, depending on gender, series of swirls on the back of their neck.

Louis Tomlinson was branded with a Blue tattoo and his day has finally come. The day of his 18th birthday where he will be randomly assigned a Dom. This dom could range from younger to older, poorer to richer, and male to female. You never knew what you were going to get. Some Doms were more harsher and stricter than others. Louis didn’t want a harsh Dom to submit to.

Harry Styles was branded with a Black tattoo and he just recieved in the mail that he was finally getting a submissive. Harry was a 32 year old man, settled in, and very very rich. He’s been waiting for an assigned submissive to be chosen for him for a very long time. His Dom friend, Zayn, has gotten his submissive two years prior, a little spit fire irish boy, Niall.

*The rest is in the note*

🖐Loving You Is Free by @littlelouishiccups (91k) | Explicit

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn’t been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

🖐sex shop fic (dildornado ‘verse) by @istajmaal, @LoadedGunn (96k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is the most helpful sex shop salesperson in the history of sex shops, and Harry really was just looking for a vibrator with simple instructions (yet ended up getting a hands-on demonstration).

🖐connoisseurs of comfort by @sky_reid (45k) | Explicit

louis has only really had his flat to himself for a few weeks when liam knocks on the door and brings him a new flatmate. this one turns out to be a bit different though.

🖐Dance Floor Whore by @ropewithnoanchor (7k) | Explicit

Louis and Harry go to a club while on tour to blow off some steam, but Harry gets too drunk and lets another man dance up on him in front of everyone. Louis takes him back to their hotel and spends the next morning punishing Harry, making Harry work to make it up to him.

🖐Give It Up To Me by @krisstylinson (8k) | Explicit

“You’re going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge,” he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

“And?” Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis’ arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. “What if I wanted you to?”

Or the cliché where Louis isn’t supposed to come but he does, and that can’t go unpunished in Harry’s eyes.

🖐Hold On To The Words You Spoke (Anchored Down In The Throat) by @justletmegohome (13k) | Explicit

“No, no. Louis, just stop. It’s not stupid, it’s never stupid. Believe it or not, I care. I care so much. Do you honestly think I’d still have my dick in your ass if I didn’t?”

Louis chuckles at that, but it’s sad, Harry notes it’s not right. “That will change when I tell you.”

“Never.” Harry kisses every bit of his face he can reach, he has no idea how that can help but he’s going to do it anyways.

“I don’t like the way I sound. ’S all,” Louis says in one breath, going coy as soon as he’s done speaking, his eyes casting downwards.

For a moment, Harry can’t believe his ears. Or the words Louis just said even if he can see them hanging in the air between them. Harry is not even sure if he listened He doesn’t want to believe them, maybe that’s why he’s having a hard time coming up with his own words.

*** Basically, Louis is loud. And then he isn’t. Harry ties him up to find out why. ***

🖐I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

🖐leave you drowning until you reach for my hand by orphan_account (16k) | Explicit

If Louis told him to do something that he really didn’t want to do, it would be different, but Louis’s never done that, never asked anything of Harry that he couldn’t handle. Except—except maybe this; to obey him without praise, reward, approval, or even mere acknowledgement.

🖐let’s talk about making love by @istajmaal (25k) | Explicit

“That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he’s Daddy.

🖐smile in slow motion by @istajmaal (24k) | Explicit

“It’s 2011, Niall. People can fuck their friends’ faces without it meaning anything more than that.”

or, Louis is Harry’s dom and maybe also his soulmate.

🖐so defiant, little one by orphan_account(4k)| Not Rated

Louis refuses to talk to Harry when the older man doesn’t buy him the necklace he wanted, and in return Harry teaches him to be grateful when they get home.

🖐To Be Loved To Be In Love by @Angel_Dust (129k) | Mature

At 18, every Sub must take a Match Test to find their Dom.

Poor, Farm kid Louis Tomlinson is matched with Rich, Businessman Harry Styles.

Or, where Harry thinks giving Money, expensive presents and luxuries proves how much you love someone, but Louis is about to turn his world upside down.

🖐turn you on, make you radiate by @ballsdeepinjesus (15k)| Explicit

When he presses inside for the first time in weeks, he’s pretty sure he sees stars behind his eyes at the staggering sensation of Harry’s body squeezing every inch of him. When he bottoms out, he stays buried inside for a minute just to catch his bearings, listening as Harry takes sharp breaths beneath him. When he finally feels like he’s under control, he presses his lips against Harry’s ear and whispers, “Are you ready husband?“

Harry throws his head back and groans. “Call me your spouse.”

[…or, a self-indulgent snapshot of hl’s sex lives over the course of 10+ years]

🖐Untitled sugardaddy fic by orphan_account (2k) | Explicit

Harry comes home from a long day at work and has his way with his baby. (That’s Louis.)

Or

The one with all the daddy kink sex and spanking. It’s pure pwp.

✨You can also check My Fic Tags for more fics! ✨

[rebelbyrdie]

I wish you would write a fic where ... Regina and Marian are bridge partners, and there's some cutthroat playing in Storybrooke!

Snow and Emma have joined the new Storybrooke Bridge Club and things get a little out of hand.

Building Bridges

“I don’t get it.”  Emma mumbled for the fourth time.  

Snow sighed.  David would have been a better partner than Emma.  She thought they could join the new Storybrooke Bridge Club to bond while David, Henry and Neal did “man stuff”.  Whatever that meant.

“Its an easy game to learn but impossible to master, Sweetheart.”  She patted Emma’s arm.  “You’ll get it.”

She would if she actually paid attention to her cards or their game.  Emma was watching a game three tables away.  She was specifically watching two of the players.  Regia and Marion were quite the pair.  They were at the top of the leader board.  They were playing against Granny and Marco.  It was a heated match, as Granny and Marco were sitting at a very close number two on the board.  

“Emma.”  Snow needed her daughter to focus on the game.  Not only were they losing, but Marge and Bea were getting annoyed.  

“Oh!”  Emma jerked her head and laid her hand down on the table face up.  Snow dropped her face into her palm.  “You weren’t the dummy hand this game.”  They were already past that phase.  

Emma picked back up her cards sheepishly.  “I mean yeah.  Uh.”  She glanced over the cards on the table and half-heartedly laid down a six of spades.  It wasn’t the suite they were playing or even the trump suite.  They lost the trick to Bea. They were being slaughtered because Emma was too busy staring at Regina to even try to play.  

“Why are they partners?  I thought they would uh not like each other.”  Emma was staring again.  “She’s mad at me, but best buddies with her?  How is that fair?”

Marge rolled her eyes.  Bea snickered. Snow wished that she were anywhere else.

Bea twisted around in her wheelchair to look at them.  “I think they make a good couple.  They bonded over what an asshole Robin is.”

Marge chuckled.  “Madame Mayor’s been hell on wheels lately but Marion can calm her down with a few words.  Her PA keeps her on speed dial.”

Snow felt her eye twitch.  This was not helping!

“Okay, yeah, sure.  I get that.  Do they have to be so buddy-buddy though?  I heard they both walked Roland to school.  Like suddenly they’re co-parenting!  Like divorced Mommies instead of girlfriend in-laws.   I had to fight tooth and nail to even see Henry for a year and I gave birth to him!”

Marge penciled in the scores onto their team cards.  She had a calm and unreadable face.  More suited to poker then bridge.  Snow knew that she was on Regina’s side.  She had been one of her biggest supporters in the Enchanted Forest.  Not that Snow held that against her or anything.  Bea was far more expressive.  She had been one of Regina’s advisors and made no qualms about it.  She looked like she was genuinely enjoying what was happening.  Like she was watching her favorite soap opera in real time.

Snow shook their hands and stood up to walk around a bit.  They had lost the match badly, again.  They were going to be at the bottom of the club.  Maybe not last since Grumpy was half-drunk and his partner, Anton, was too busy chatting with everyone to keep up with the game.

Snow sighed and checked the board to see who their next match was with.  She almost screamed and wondered if she could just forfeit now.  Emma would be useless sitting that close to Regina and Marion.

It took a few minutes for Marion and Regina to finish, and win, their match.  Granny looked sour and Marco disappointed.  Marion and Regina were arm in arm, laughing about something.  

Emma scowled as they walked closer.  Snow sighed.  This was going to be a long match.

For the first time since they’d arrived, Emma paid attention to the cards.  More specifically, she watched Regina’s hands shuffle then deal the cards.  Her fingernails and lipstick were the same shade of red as the back of the cards.  She was wearing black and red, like she had planned to match the cards.  Snow wasn’t blind, Regina was dressed to impress (more like torture and tease) today.  Several eyes, both male and female, had wandered her way.

Snow suspected that Regina had let Marion dress out of her closet too.  She was wearing a vibrant violet wrap dress and heels.  She looked very modern but comfortable, almost smug.  Regina was rubbing off on her.  They had been inseparable since they had both broken up with Robin.

“So you’ve adapted to Strorybrooke pretty quickly, Marion.”  Snow looked over her cards and hoped Emma was at least looking over hers.  “I’m so glad you’re doing well.”

As well as any out-of-time, out-of-realm, recently-resurected, almost divorcee could be doing.  

“It is my second chance.  I am so happy to be here.”  Marion flashed a brilliant smile at Regina. “There are so many miracles here.  I can’t imagine going back.”

Regina chuckled.  “Going back for a year was awful.  I’d forgotten how much I hated chimera and corsets.”

Marion giggled and reached across the table to touch Regina’s arm and spoke in a different language.  Regina’s eyes lit up with a mischievous spark and she replied in the same language.

Emma scowled, “Did you guys invent a special BFF language?”

Marion blinked and Regina cocked a brow.  “Have you never heard of Spanish, Miss Swan?”

“8 Hearts.”  Snow started off the bidding since no one else had bothered.  

“So you both just happen to speak Spanish?”  Emma squinted at them.  “Seriously?”  She shifted in her seat, “I didn’t even know you spoke Spanish.”

Snow did, though she had rarely heard her do so.  She also spoke French, Elvish, Latin and was passable at Agrahbani and Skailling (the language of the Northern kingdom that her mother had come from).

Snow had begged her stepmother for Skailling lessons, but had ultimately found them difficult and boring so she had quit less than two months later.  She had never been a good student and often wondered if Regina had cursed her to be a teacher just for that reason.  

She shook her head and focused on the game.  Someone on their team should at least try to play.

The bidding went fast and ended with Regina being the dummy hand.

“Well, Miss Swan.  I have all my cards-”  She spoke slowly and rubbed her fingers across the top of her hand as she laid it down.  “-on the table.”

Oh My God.  Regina was flirting.  With her daughter.  Right in front of her!  How was she supposed to focus on the tricks when Regina was trying to seduce her baby girl in front of the entire club?!

Snow looked over at Marion and the woman smirked and gave a quick nod.  Like she was in on Regina’s grand plan.  Like she thought it was a grand idea. They were doing this on purpose!

The rounds went quickly, but Emma was so focused on Regina that she rarely put down a card that helped.  Regina and Marion won the game easily.  Emma got the next deal and she shuffled the cards roughly, bending them and mixing them with some faces up and others down.  She corrected them with a grumble and finally dealt them out, counting to thirteen under her breath.  She slapped each card down hard and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

Regina and Marion upped their ante.  Not at Bridge, though.  They were playing an entirely different game.  Marion was intentionally trying to make Emma jealous.  Regina was putting on her best I’m not trying to be sexy I just am naturally irresistible act.  Snow could not believe Emma was falling for it.  The whole thing was middle-school drama club melodrama.  It wasn’t subtle.  For a master manipulator, Regina was certainly being blunt.

Snow wondered if she should stop them.  After a few calming breaths and a few sips of grape soda, she had calmed down a little.  

On the one hand, Regina had been the Evil Queen.  Her mortal enemy, the caster of the darkest curse in the land, etcetera etcetera.  On the other hand, Emma’s other suitor was a morally dubious pirate who drank five times more than he bathed.  

At least Regina was trying to redeem herself.  All Hook did was hang out on the docks, drink and make sexually charged passes at Emma (or any other female he happened to see).

Furthermore, Snow wasn’t deaf, dumb or blind.  Emma and Regina had been dancing around each other from day one.  She wished she didn’t know that, but she did.  In fact, she was starting to wonder if they had already crossed a line or two.   When she really thought about it, the signs were all there.

There had been the time that Emma had all but carried Regina out of the fire.  The way Emma had fought to save Regina from the wraith.  Then there was the way that Regina had been amazed at Emma’s magic.  How she had looked so devastated when Emma had accused her of murder.  They’d disappeared in Neverland a time or two with little to no explanation.  Then there had been the long and longing stars and stilted conversations when they were fighting Zelena.  Not to mention the fact that Regina had tried to remove her heart the second she was separated from Henry and Emma.  How she had spent a year ignoring her “soulmate” and staring off into the distance, like she was thinking about Emma had been more excited to see Regina than her and David.

She rolled her eyes, laid down her card, and gave Regina a small nod.  She wasn’t going to object, but it was not a full blessing either.  It was more of a we’ll see.  She’d leave the threats of bodily harm to David.

During the bids this time, Regina and Marion were far more tactile, leaning into each other’s touches and whispering back and forth in Spanish.  When Regina laughed, she threw her head back and her dark hair swished across her face.

Emma was gripping the edge of the table so hard that her knuckles had blanched white.

Snow looked around and realized that they were the center of attention.  Everyone was watching Regina and Marion torture Emma.  They were all obviously enjoying the show. 

“Nine Spades.”  Marion smiled and leaned over to take Regina’s glass of ginger ale.  She drank deeply.  “Thanks, Sweetie.”

Emma’s face twisted and she stiffened in her seat.  Three lightbulbs at the far end of the community center went bright and then blew out.  It could be a coincidence or Emma’s magic.  Snow bit her lip, but didn’t say anything.  Emma only became more agitated when people pointed out her magic being “temperamental”.

The game went fast but much differently than Snow expected.  They were winning.  Not because she was a particularly great player or because Emma had  suddenly started trying.  No, it was plain to see that Regina and Marion were intentionally throwing the game.  So there would be a third tie breaker game for the match.  They were dragging this out as long as they could.  It was diabolical and just a little bit cruel.  

Snow was pretty sure that no one else was playing.  They were all watching Regina and Emma.  There were the cards on the table and the entirely different game being played out with little smirks and furrowed brows.  The tension was so thick that Snow would need a battle ax to cut through it.

“Pardon me.”  Regina jotted down her team’s intentionally abysmal score on their card.  “I need to visit the powder room before our final game.  May I?”  She stood, not waiting for their answer.

Emma stood up too, faster and way less graceful then Regina had. Her chair screeched back and almost tipped.  “Yeah.  Me too.”

Snow watched Regina sashay towards the ladies room and Emma stomp after her.  Since Emma hadn’t taken a drink of her now warm soda all morning, Snow doubted that she needed to use the facilities.

“Whatever happens in there.”  Snow glared at Marion. “I blame you.”

Marion laughed, which was not the reaction Snow had expected.

“I don’t understand.”  She sounded like Emma now.  “What is going on with you and Regina anyway?”

Marion had been caught up in the war she and Regina had waged.  She would have been executed if not for Emma.  Not to mention there was the whole Robin situation.  Marion should hate Regina, or at the very least not be best friends with her.  

“I know what you’re thinking.”  Marion took a handful of the snack mix that sat on every table.  “I should hate the Evil Queen.”  

Snow nodded and grabbed a couple of chocolate covered nuts for herself.  “But you don’t?”

Marion smiled.  “We both know that Regina is not The Evil Queen.  She’s a completely different person.  Did you know that she came to me a few days after I arrived?”

During the two weeks that she had refused to speak to anyone but Henry?  During those same two weeks that Emma had been beside herself with worry and guilt?

“Robin tried to rush her off, like Regina was the dirty little secret I wasn’t supposed to know about.”  Marion shook her head.  Her voice was quiet and low, far less cheerful than it had been.  “Robin had taken mistresses before.  His code of honor is very flexible when he wants it to be.” 

Snow almost choked on her snack.  What?  

“None of them had dared to come talk to me.  To look me in the eyes.  She wasn’t there to talk to Robin, to convince him to leave me.  She came to talk to me.  I thought she was going to apologize.  I think if she had I might have hit her.”  

Marion looked over at the closed bathroom door.  

“She asked if I was okay.  If I needed anything.”  

Snow blinked.  Again, she hadn’t really expected that.

“Everyone was so excited about my sudden resurrection.  Robin had his wife back.  Rolland had his mother back.  Not a single person had asked me how I felt.  I-it-I cried.  I broke down sobbing and she comforted me.”

Marion picked up the deck of cards and started to shuffle it.  She was moving her hands and fingers, playing with the cards.

“She explained things to me that no one had thought to mention.  Offered to help me find a home.  She explained that here I could divorce Robin without losing Rolland to him.  She asked what I wanted.  She didn’t have any expectations or demands.  She really wanted me to have choices about my new life.  I don’t know what your life was like, Princess, but I’ve never been given a lot of choices.”

Marion paused and looked around the room briefly. “I get to be what I want here, and I want what she has.  A home, a job, a safe place for my son to live, learn and grow.  Love with no judgement.”  

Did Marion harbor love for someone?  If it wasn’t Robin or Regina, then who?  Snow was dying to know.

“So yes.  Regina and I are friends and-”  Marion chuckled.  “-she is a mess.  She is hopelessly in love with Emma.  She doesn’t even like Bridge.  She hates it.  She’s only here to see Emma.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  Even Henry is ready to lock them in a room together and throw away the key.  So we-”

A burst of bright light flooded the building.  There was a small earthquake and hundreds of butterflies suddenly appeared in the room.  They fluttered around and filled the room with a rainbow of colors.

“Well!”  Marion grinned.  “I suppose its mission accomplished, then.”  She looked over at the score cards.  “I wonder if they’ll let us team up since Regina and Emma aren’t going to be spending their Saturday mornings playing Bridge anymore.”

[wheresmynaya]

Lost in the Lights Ch.4 | Brittana

Posting early today since the Steelers game has been postponed so many times I've lost all concept of time LOL. Anyway, I get a real kick out of everyone that mentions they're a Steelers fan in their reviews. Wave that Terrible Towel for me too (I left mine in American, such a rookie mistake).

Also Happy late Thanksgiving, hope everyone had a safe holiday with lots of laughs.

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x)

It’s Wednesday morning and Brittany’s walking with Kurt to their first class of the day when McKinley High’s mascot comes running down the hall at them. They barely get out of his way in time as he continues whooping down the hallway. Students around cheer but Brittany just stares blankly, trying to understand what that was all about.

“That guy does his Spirit Run every year around this time,” Kurt explains.

“Spirit Run?”

“Yeah. It’s really just an excuse for him to run around the halls like a crazy person,” Kurt says, “You’ll probably see it again at least three more times this week.”

“You guys really go all out here,” Brittany mentions as she and Kurt begin to walk again without fear of getting trampled.

“Told you,” Kurt shrugs, “Homecoming is one of McKinley’s biggest events.”

“Small towns are so weird,” Brittany chuckles.

“They are, but I do love a good theme,” Kurt replies then gasps as he turns to her, “Have you given any thought to who you’ll be going with?”

Brittany laughs a little louder, but then stifles it when she sees Kurt look at her in confusion.

“I wasn’t going to ask anyone,” She says with a shrug.

Kurt’s baffled and stops mid-step, “What? Why not?”

“I don’t really have anyone in mind,” Brittany answers simply, “Why? What’s the issue?”

“You have to have an escort, Britt,” Kurt urges, “You’re apart of the Homecoming Court now, you can’t just attend the dance alone.”

Brittany rolls her eyes at how serious he’s making it all sound, “Why not? What’s going to happen to me if I don’t go with anyone?”

Kurt stammers, “Uh…nothing I guess but it’s not something people usually do. You’re pretty popular, Britt, why don’t you use that to your advantage like everyone else here? I’m sure you’d find a date easily if you asked around.”

“Okay fine,” Brittany smirks, “Do you want to go with me?”

Kurt gives her a look, “I’m flattered but I already agreed to go with a group from Glee Club.”

“Well look at that. I tried,” Brittany fakes defeat, “Guess I’ll be going alone then.”

“But –“

“I’ll be fine, Kurt. You said it yourself, nothing will happen to me if I go alone,” Brittany chuckles as she enters the classroom.

Kurt just sighs and follows after Brittany.

\\

The day goes on as usual for Brittany until she arrives to her Home Room class for third bell. It’s one of her favorite parts of the day; half of the bell is spent on studying and using your time wisely before everyone’s released for lunch. It’s kind of her time to wind down from all the info-intake, but sometimes she tries to get a jump on homework so she doesn’t have to do much after practice.

It’s also the class before her final one of the day which she gets to spend with Santana.

She has barely walked through the door when her teacher hands her a note saying she’s needed in Ms. Pillsbury’s office. She recognizes the name from when Santana mentioned her awhile ago, but Brittany frowns as she looks over the note.

“Am I going to miss lunch?” She asks but the teacher just shrugs and tells her to get going.

She doesn’t actually know where the office is so she ends up wandering around downstairs until another teacher spots her for looking lost.

“Hey, where are you supposed to be?” They demand.

Brittany just hands over the note like it’s a hall pass, “I’m not sure where her office is.”

She smiles innocently and it’s enough to have the teacher relaxing. Thankfully they offer to lead the way to where she needs to be without any further questions.

When she finally gets to the office, she knocks gently at the glass. There’s a red-haired woman sitting daintily behind a desk polishing off her stapler with a wet wipe. Kind of odd, but Brittany doesn’t question it as a pleasant smile fills the woman’s face upon seeing her standing there.

“Brittany, hi! Please come in,” She says and motions for the blonde to have a seat, “I’m Ms. Pillsbury, I’ll be your designated guidance counselor and college advisor.”

“Hi,” Brittany nods behind a polite smile as she goes to sit, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, no. Of course not,” Ms. Pillsbury assures her.

Brittany’s only a little relieved by that.

“I’ve been trying to make my rounds in meeting with all the Seniors just to make sure that everyone’s on track with deadlines for college applications,” She explains, “I have a little information on you from your old school, but I just wanted to check in and introduce myself properly since you’re new here. How are you finding McKinley so far?”

“It’s nice,” Brittany answers softly.

She doesn’t know what it is about the guidance counselor’s office that makes her feel nervous. Maybe because she spent so much time in it at the beginning of the year? She was always being checked on because of her ailing dad, it always made her feel so uneasy.

“I see you’ve been making quite the splash with the Titans,” Ms. Pillsbury says kindly, “It’s great to see a new student getting so involved. I’m sure the team is happy you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Brittany shrugs; she’s not exactly sure how to answer that especially after taking her stance on slushie facials. They work better as a team on the field but there’s still a little tension.

“So plans for college,” Ms. Pillsbury continues once she sees she’s not going to get anything else out of Brittany.

Brittany shifts uncomfortably in her seat, her hands tightening around the spine of her binder. Talking about her future like this always puts her on edge for some reason. She knows her parents – mostly her dad – always wanted her to go to college after high school, so she wants to honor that. She wants it for herself too, but it’s kind of overwhelming sometimes, especially when she feels like sports are the only thing she’s good at.

That’s not true – she’s a whizz in math and science – but does she really want to make a career out of it? She has no idea, it’s probably a good idea that she figure that out soon though.

All she knows is that GPAs are important and hers isn’t the best it could be. Her grades really took a hit when her dad passed away, but she was able to finish her Junior year relatively strong considering everything that happened. Maybe she’ll be okay?

“It says here that you’ve already taken the SATs twice,” Ms. Pillsbury notes, “Your scores are very good.”

Brittany nods again, “Yes, I sat the exam just before I moved here. I figured that I would be too focused on getting adjusted to a new school to study again.”

“That’s smart,” Ms. Pillsbury smiles, “You’re ahead of many Seniors here, it’s nice to see someone taking the initiative.”

“Yeah,” Brittany just shrugs, “I’m hoping that I can get a scholarship for playing football or something. I know it’s kind of a long shot for someone like me. It’s super rare that a female football player gets a scholarship.”

“But it isn’t impossible, I think that’s the important part so don’t doubt yourself. You could very well get a scholarship for your talents on the field,” Ms. Pillsbury assures her, “It says in your file that you’ve had scouts attend your games at your old school: one for the Florida State and another for Auburn. That’s really impressive, Brittany.”

“Thank you,” Brittany blushes. She remembers those game and how nerve wracking it was for her knowing that a win could determine her future – could determine if she were getting into a good school or not.

“I know Coach Beiste is in contact with a few recruiters and college coaches that are more local if that interests you?” Ms. Pillsbury suggests, “Maybe you’ll have some luck there as well? I know she’s quite close to the coaches at Louisville and Ohio State which are both on your list here.”

“That would be so cool, ” Brittany perks up at the prospect.

Now that they’ve moved, she kind of wants to stay close to home if she can. Maybe she’ll be able to get on Ohio State’s radar or maybe Notre Dame? It has been a crazy dream of hers to play college football at one of the top schools in the country, but she doesn’t know if she’s being realistic.

“Very cool,” Ms. Pillsbury smiles, “Well, I don’t want to take up too much of your time during your study hour so if you ever have any questions or just want to come by for a chat, I’m always here.”

“Thanks Ms. Pillsbury,” Brittany grins before heading back to class. It was a random meeting, but Brittany feels surprisingly lighter after speaking with her – like there was this reassurance she didn’t know she needed. It was completely different from the visits that she’s used to.

\\\\\

Although Spirit Week really seems like five days worth of nonsense, there is still the usual schoolwork and practice that Santana needs to focus on too. So after Wednesday’s Cheerios practice, Santana and Quinn head to the Lima Bean to get some homework done before they fall too far behind.

This year, they only have one class together but unfortunately that’s the only class that they’re caught up on. Instead, they grab a circular table by the window and work on their own things in a comfortable silence. Before either of them knows it, they’ve been there for two hours already and have gone through multiple coffees each – Santana’s on her third, Quinn has switched to tea.

Quinn sits back and goes to stretch a moment later, “I think I’m done for the day.”

Santana blinks her weary eyes, “Same. This bookwork on U.S. Government is melting my brain. Let’s pack up and – “

“Wait,” Quinn whispers and holds out her hand to stop Santana, “Look who’s here.”

When Santana follows Quinn’s line of view she instantly looks away at who’s there talking to the barista.

“We never see her here,” Santana comments disbelievingly.

“Right?” Quinn starts to smirk, “This is perfect.”

Since their talk over the weekend, Quinn’s been in Santana’s ear about her progress in becoming friends with Brittany despite Santana telling her to butt out. She’s been trying to explain that she’s not going to all of a sudden ask her over for a sleepover so they can braid each other’s hair and make friendship bracelets. It takes time, especially for Santana considering she’s not exactly the best at making new friends.

And that’s kind of where Quinn comes in.

“I swear to God, Fabray, if you do anything embarrassing I’m gonna – “

“Hey Brittany!” Quinn calls out sweetly, loud enough so that Brittany – and anyone else in earshot – can hear.

Santana goes ten shades redder and sinks low in her chair, “I hate you so much.”

“What?” Quinn questions innocently, “Friends say hi to other friends when they’re out in public so don’t be rude.”

Santana lets out a sarcastic laugh, “Bullshit. You and I both know what you’re up to.”

“I’m not up to anything. Just be normal,” Quinn whispers out quickly, “She’s coming over.”

Be normal, Santana thinks as she stifles another laugh. How can she be normal when Quinn is yelling out this girl’s name from across the café like they’re best friends? They’ve talked maybe twice and it wasn’t much of a conversation but rather just greetings exchanged.

It’s like Quinn’s just trying to embarrass the crap out of her.

Santana tries to keep a straight face in hopes that the blush fades soon. Hopefully her tan complexion is enough to mask her embarrassment.

“Hey guys,” Brittany greets casually, “How’s it going?”

Quinn looks to Santana to see if she’ll answer. She rolls her eyes when she sees that Santana’s just giving her a death glare instead.

“Going well,” Quinn replies first, “Did you just get out of practice?”

Brittany sighs tiredly and goes to brush her hair behind her ear, “Yeah. Very tiring, but that’s why I’m here. I’m so close to a nap but I still have a ton of homework to do by tomorrow. Looks like you guys do too.”

Santana remains weirdly silent so Quinn gives her a subtle kick from under the table, “So much, but we’ve just finished up. Santana and I were actually just talking about tomorrow’s Spirit Day. Right, Santana?”

Santana gives Quinn one last narrow of her eyes before she’s putting on a smile, “Right, Quinn.”

“What is it again?” Brittany asks as she looks to the brunette with her pretty blue eyes.

Santana’s breath catches before she croaks out, “Crazy Hair Day.”

“That’s right,” Brittany chuckles before she teases, “Another super original one. Have you got any ideas for what you’ll do?”

Santana feels a little more at ease, “I’m trying to talk Quinn into dying her hair pink.”

Brittany’s brows shoot up as she looks to Quinn, “Awesome!”

“I’ll probably just wear mine down,” Santana adds which has Quinn rolling her eyes.

“Why do I have to dye my hair when all you’re doing is wearing yours down?” Quinn huffs.

“Because,” Santana retorts, “No way I’m doing anything crazy to all of this. Do you know how much these extensions cost?”

Brittany laughs at their dynamic, “I mean, it totally works! You’d look so different without your usual high pony. I can’t wait to see.”

Quinn sends a stealthy glance over in Santana’s direction. Santana makes a point not to look.

“What about you?” Santana asks Brittany, “What are you going to do differently?”

“I don’t know,” Brittany shrugs, “I probably won’t comb it or something. Although, the hair dye does sound pretty cool.”

Santana laughs at Quinn’s eye-roll just as the barista calls out Brittany’s name.

“Oh! That’s me,” Brittany jumps, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Santana and Quinn say their goodbyes, but once she’s out of hearing range Quinn practically lunges across the table in excitement.

“She was flirting with you,” Quinn points out around a smirk.

Santana looks at her in disbelief, “Where the hell did you see flirting in all of that? Besides, wasn’t the point of all that to make a friend?”

“Come on,” Quinn gives her a look, “It was pretty obvious.”

“You’re delusional,” Santana chuckles.

“And you’re still date-less,” Quinn then sits up straighter, “Wait. I have an idea.”

“I already know what you’re going to say,” Santana shakes her head, “It’s a no. It’s a hell no.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to state my case.”

“Yeah, because it’s bound to be ridiculous,” Santana replies. She glances over in Brittany’s direction as the blonde goes to sit at a table by herself. Santana pushes away that little feeling of hope before she’s turning back to Quinn, “She and I barely talk outside of class. It would be so weird and awkward, she’d never agree to it. Not to mention that it would be completely predictable.”

“Predictable?”

“Well yeah,” Santana answers like its obvious, “The only two girls nominated that are also – you know – and they just so happen to be going together? No. I’m not going to give this school any more reason to talk shit. I’m not falling for that trap.”

Quinn rolls her eyes, “What are you talking about? What trap?”

“You don’t think this is weird?” Santana questions, “A girl being nominated for King? That’s never happened before. Is it not a red flag for you?”

Quinn sits back again in her chair and sighs, “Honestly Santana, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if she’s genuinely been nominated or if it’s something else. I don’t think we’re gonna find out until Saturday.”

Santana sighs too, “I just don’t want her to get dragged into all my crap, you know? I don’t want them to mess with her like they’ve messed with me.”

“Yeah,” Quinn nods sadly, “I know but maybe it’s different this time? Brittany’s…she’s a lovely person and really tallented. Who knows, maybe that’s why she’s being nominated? Maybe her being an awesome quarterback and leading the Titans to so many wins has distracted people? Maybe this is real? I don’t know.”

Santana bites her lip. She wishes she could be that optimistic, but she’s been burned too many times. It’s hard for her to see the good anymore. She just hopes for Brittany’s sake that Quinn’s right this time.

“But,” Quinn adds, “What I do know is that Cheerios don’t go to these things by themselves – especially ones that are nominated.”

Santana tenses her jaw. She hates all the social rules she has to follow just because of her status. She hates how popularity is everything in place like Lima. For once, she just wants to be herself but everyone makes it so damn difficult.

Still, she has her obligations.

“If you can’t go with Brittany,” Quinn starts, “Who will you go with?”

She glances one last time at Brittany sitting alone studying before she finally answers, “I’ll find someone.”

\\

And Santana tries valiantly to do so.

Once she gets home from the Lima Bean, Santana lies on her bed and scrolls through her contacts but nothing jumps out at her. Actually, it’s not the fact that no one jumps out – it’s the fact that she can’t bring herself to stoop down to that level again and go with a guy.

She can’t pretend anymore, no matter how bad she wants to avoid it all and go back to how things were a couple years ago where all she had to do was hide behind some guy in order to avoid how she truly felt. No one questioned her, no one doubted if any of it was genuine.

If she were to go with one of the many guys listed in her contacts, she would be doing just that – reverting. She feels guilty just thinking about it, but she knows it would be easier going back on what was said about her rather than actually living up to it.

Honestly, she doesn’t know which is scarier: pretending to be someone she isn’t again or finally owning up to who she really is. She just hates hearing the I knew it or I told you; it makes her feel so see-through, vulnerable. She can’t have that, she can’t have people at this school thinking they know her when they really don’t, but what is she supposed to do?

Continue to hide from the truth? Hope that everyone forgets?

Santana continues to scroll through her phone hoping that maybe she’ll find the answer to all her troubles amongst the boys’ names.

She doubts she will and that’s the biggest problem of all.

\\\\\

The next day, Brittany gets home a little earlier from football practice to find her mom helping Pete with his homework in the dining room. He instantly lights up when she enters the room and rushes over to hug her hips.

“Hey Petey,” Brittany chuckles, “You doing homework?”

“He just finished up,” Whitney smiles lovingly at the pair, “Got every question right.”

“No way!” Brittany gasp and goes for a low-five, “Mr. Smarty Pants in the building!”

Pete gives her an enthusiastic slap to her palm, “Should be rewarded with ice cream, right?”

Brittany’s brows rise and they both look over to their mom as she mimics him, “Right?”

Whitney just laughs, “Don’t you need to shower or something, Britt?”

“Showered at school,” She grins triumphantly.

“You can do that?” Pete looks up at her in awe.

“Totally.”

“Well,” Whitney sighs, “Let’s go then! Tonight’s the Bonfire, isn’t it?”

Brittany nodded as she put down her bag in its usual place by the front door, “Yeah, but it’s not until later. I’ve got time for an ice cream run.”

“Can I go to the bonfire too?” Pete asks as they all make their way outside to the car.

“Mom said no, remember?” Brittany tells him gently as he climbs into his seat, “It’ll be too late for you.”

“Bummer,” He frowns. Brittany gets in the passenger side and Whitney goes to start the car when he asks, “Will Santana be there?”

Brittany’s a little surprised that he remembered her name but answers anyway, “Yeah, probably. Why?”

Pete doesn’t answer for awhile, “Just wondering. She’s nice.”

Brittany nods, “Yeah. I think so too.”

She goes to flip though the radio stations, but Santana’s mention reminds her of how she felt seeing the Co-Captain for the first time that morning.

Like they discussed at the Lima Bean, Santana had worn her hair down. Brittany almost didn’t recognize her, she looked that different. More relaxed maybe? Who knows, but Brittany caught herself staring several times which would’ve been embarrassing if Santana noticed. Her hair was a lot longer than Brittany thought and any time Santana would brush it behind her ear or twirl the tips of it with her fingers, Brittany could smell the scent of her shampoo wafting off of her.

It was super distracting.

That scent was committed to Britany’s memory, because that scent was now Santana. Whenever she caught a whiff of it, Santana’s smiling face popped up in her head. As much as she thought that was really cool, it kind of worried her because she knew what was starting to develop and she couldn’t have that.

Crushes are meant to be on people she might actually have a chance with. Not pretty, straight Cheerleaders who could probably get anyone they wanted in the entire school.

“So are you two going together?” Whitney wonders and Brittany’s eyes nearly bug out at the question, more importantly how casual it sounded.

Is she reading my thoughts? Brittany wonders.

Pete pipes in next, “Yeah, are you?”

Honestly, Brittany never really considered Santana as an option. The girl is probably the hardest person to read and that’s coming from Brittany who is excellent at reading people…on the football field.

If Santana’s somewhere on the spectrum, it would be news to Brittany.

“Uh…no,” Brittany finally answers, “I doubt she’d want to go with me. I bet she has so many guys lining up to be her date though, she’s very popular.”

“How do you know she won’t want to go with you instead then?” Pete wonders innocently, “Maybe she’s tired of going with boys?”

That has Brittany chuckling, “Maybe but I’ll probably just go by myself and meet up with my friends. I don’t mind not having a date, just means I can dance with everyone else’s.”

They seem happy with that answer so the rest of the car ride is quiet aside from Pete singing along with the radio. Brittany just stares out the window wondering if her brother might be on to something about Santana though.

It’s probably a shot in the dark, but the longer she stews on it the more curious she becomes.

\\

Brittany’s always loved Bonfires; she likes the way the smoke lingers on her, the feel of the heat of the flames on her cheeks, how the glow of the fire has this sort of hypnotic effect. She really gets the expression a moth to a flame because she can so relate to the way it pulls you in.

She has seen Mike and Sam around, along with the other guys from the team but she makes a point to stay near the fire instead. It’s a lot colder than it was when she went out for ice cream earlier and she kind of regrets not wearing something thicker underneath her letterman jacket.

It’s not until after Principal Figgins makes a few announcements that she has to gather with the team for their grand entrance. It all seems a bit backwards since they’ve already been mingling for the past thirty minutes, but she just goes with the flow and follows after Kurt until they’re dismissed to join everyone else again. It’s then, that Brittany spots Santana hanging around the chairs she was sitting in before the Titans were called over.

To Brittany’s surprise, Santana sits alone. And like a moth to a flame, Brittany finds herself wandering over without a second thought.

“Hey,” Brittany greets with her hands tucked in her jacket pockets, “Where’s your other half?”

Santana looks away from the dancing flames and blinks like Brittany had just interrupted some deep thought, “Who? Quinn?”

“Yeah,” Brittany smiles as she sits next to Santana, “You two are always together.”

Santana chuckles, “She’s chatting up Mike I think. She’s on the hunt for an escort to Homecoming.”

“I’m sure Mike’s loving that,” Brittany laughs.

“Oh yeah?”

“Totally,” Brittany nods, “He has the biggest crush on Quinn. Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Oh, she knows,” Santana replies, “I don’t know why they won’t make it official already. They’re fooling no one.”

Brittany laughs again and thinks back to all the times she’s overheard Mike talk about Quinn like she put every star in the sky. It’s cute, she thinks, they’re cute. It makes her wonders why they’re dragging their feet if the feelings are mutual.

Her thoughts are interrupted though when she sees Santana shiver.

She’s still wearing her uniform so it’s no wonder why she’s cold but at least she has her Cheerios jacket on too.

“You guys not allowed to wear pants or something?” Brittany asks jokingly.

Santana shoots her a playful glare, “I would’ve worn my warm-ups if I knew it was going to drop 40 degrees. It wasn’t this cold when I got here earlier.”

“I know right?” Brittany agrees as she tries to use the collar of her jacket to cover her ears, “I don’t like it.”

Santana chuckles as she sees Brittany trying to hide further into her jacket, “Okay it’s not that cold. We’re literally sitting by a fire.”

Brittany just shrugs and looks back at Santana. Again, she’s kind of captivated by her. With her hair still down, falling in gentle waves over her shoulder, and the glow of the fire casting shades of burnt orange…Santana’s kind of beautiful.

Crap, Brittany thinks and goes to shake away the thought.

Instead, she goes to ask a question that’s been eating her up since her chat with Pete. Really, she just wants to shut down that nagging feeling of hope in the pit of her stomach and confirm that Santana’s already been easily swept up by some other eligible, more realistic option for a date.

“So what about your date hunt?” Brittany prompts timidly, “You have an escort already too?”

“No,” Santana’s smile falters and there’s just the barest of a crinkle between her brows as she looks back at the flames.

Brittany’s shocked by the news.

“I wouldn’t go with anyone if I could,” Santana mentions quietly, “But it’s kind of tradition that a Cheerio doesn’t go unattended.”

“This school and its traditions…” Brittany sighs with the shake of her head.

Santana frowns, still looking away from Brittany, “Yeah. It’s so stupid.”

Brittany watches Santana, trying to read what’s hidden beneath the surface but she’s at a loss. Santana can be so cryptic sometimes, her walls so impossibly high. It’s hard for Brittany to get a read on her so she just has to ask instead and hope Santana graces her with an answer.

“I take it the hunt isn’t going very well?” Brittany wonders.

“Not at all,” Santana answers with a deep sigh.

Brittany wonders what that is. The way Santana looks is similar to the first time Brittany ever saw her back at Puck’s End of Summer party. She remembers seeing Santana and Quinn sitting by the pool – she’s never seen a girl looking so sad at a party. Back then, she wanted to go over and ask her why she was so sad but that was probably the alcohol giving her a false sense of confidence.

But knowing more of Santana now and seeing her look that way makes Brittany feel kind of sad too. She’s not sure how to console Santana, if that’s even what she wants from someone, so instead Brittany tries to make her laugh.  

“Wow, you struggling to find a date?” Brittany teases gently, “There definitely isn’t any hope for the rest of us.”

“Why’s that?” Santana asks with her expression even.

Brittany gulps; maybe she’s making it worse?

“You’re just…” Brittany fumbles for the right words but all she can think of is how Pete described Santana earlier, “You’re nice. It’s kind of hard to believe that someone like you is still dateless.”

Santana looks like she’s about to laugh, “Nice? I don’t think anyone’s ever said that about me unless they’re referring to my ass.”

Brittany begins to feel flushed because well, yeah that too but that wasn’t what she was referring to.

“You are though,” Brittany assures her, “You brought me the work I missed that one time. You assigned a locker to me when Coach Sylvester wouldn’t. You brought me that awesome – but weird colored – juice when I wasn’t feeling well. Not to mention how you handled JBI before I knew who he was…”

Santana just shakes her head though the smile begs to form.

“You’re nice Santana,” Brittany tells her this time.

Santana bobs her head from side to side like she can’t decide if she agrees with Brittany.

“Well, a lot of other people would disagree,” Santana says finally, “I’ve…burned a lot of bridges in the past so nice isn’t going to cut it unfortunately. Pretty sure Quinn nabbed the last available Titan and I sure as hell won’t go with one of the Hockey players. If there are any Titans left they’re either pigs or too gross for me to even consider so that’s that.”

Suddenly Brittany feels her senses heighten and her heart rate spikes, because a thought just crossed her mind and although her head is telling her to keep quiet about it, her heart tells her to go for it. She’s caught in the middle, but then she hears her dad’s voice in her head saying, “You won’t know unless you try.”

So she decides to shoot that shot in the dark and hope for the best.

“What about me?” Brittany offers hesitantly. She feels her heart jump to her throat and it’s taking everything in her to come off cool and casual.

Santana looks at her curiously, “What about you?”

Of course she’d want me to spell it out for her, Brittany thinks with a chuckle.

“Well, I’m not on the Hockey team.”

She can see the moment Santana catches on.

“Last time I checked I was a Titan too,” Brittany continues, “And I don’t have a date.”

Santana blinks at Brittany like she can’t believe her ears, “But…you’re a g – “

“I swear, if you say girl…” Brittany laughs.

“What?” Santana stammers out a laugh too, “You are!”

“Okay, and?” Brittany asks, “What’s that have to do with anything?”

Santana shakes her head and lets out a wry laugh, “Two girls can’t go to a dance together.”

Brittany rolls her eyes at that reasoning, “Who said?”

Santana’s lips part but nothing comes out. Brittany smirks.

“You don’t have an escort and I don’t either,” Brittany explains, “From what I hear, Cheerios tend to go with Football players and since I’m apparently the only Titan without a date still it would make sense for us to go together. Unless you’re considering me one of the gross ones you wouldn’t dream of going with?”

Santana averts her gaze, “You’re not.”

Hope starts to swell within Brittany, “Well then…we’re not really breaking tradition, are we? It’s like finding a loophole. You’re still a Cheerio going with a Titan, it just so happens that we’re both girls.”

Santana takes a moment to reply but when she does, she sounds a lot more nervous than before and Brittany worries that she’s made her uncomfortable by asking.

“I – I’m just…” Santana stutters, “I’m not…”

Brittany waits for Santana to finish but she’s so tripped up on her words that she can’t get anything out. The blonde kind of gets what Santana’s trying to say judging by the look of discomfort and takes the awkward rambling as all the assurance she needs.

“Santana, you don’t have to be gay to go to a dance with another girl,” Brittany jokes trying to lighten the mood.

Santana just stiffens, “Uhm.”

“I wasn’t going to go with anyone either,” Brittany continues to ramble, “Seems like you and I are the only ones that have that in common.”  

“Right,” Santana mumbles.

“Yeah so,” Brittany chuckles, suddenly feeling way more nervous than before, “Maybe we can just go together as friends?”

“Friends?” Santana repeats. It seems like she only knows how to say one word at a time now.

“Yeah, friends,” Brittany chuckles, “You’ve heard of them, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Santana stutters.

“Okay, well all of mine already have dates and since everyone wants to put such a big emphasis on having an escort, you’re the only one left that I’d feel comfortable going with. Not that I consider you a last resort,” Brittany quickly amends, “I just thought we could help each other out, you know?”

Santana looks shocked, “Really?”

“Well yeah,” Brittany shrugs. She pushes away the doubt trying to worm its way in. She can’t remember the last time she felt this nervous to go out on whim, “So what do you say? Do you want to go together?”

“As friends?”

“Yes Santana,” Brittany chuckles, “As friends.”

“Okay,” Santana smiles and for a second she starts to act normal again, “Yeah. That’s cool.”

“Awesome!” Brittany beams.

She feels so relieved now and thinks that went a lot better than she thought but she can still sense a little hesitance on Santana’s end which makes her a little nervous. She goes to tuck her hair behind her air just to give her hands something to do.

“So…” Brittany drawls out, “I should probably get your number then? For outfit coordination purposes, you know just so we don’t accidentally match or something.”

When she sees that faint smirk on Santana’s lips, Brittany feels a little better about asking.

“Wow, you always this smooth when getting a girl’s number?” Santana teases.

Brittany instantly rolls her eyes at the sarcasm.

She’s been told that she’s charismatic and maybe a little accidentally flirty, but she honestly isn’t trying anything with Santana. She wouldn’t do anything to make her uncomfortable – she knows what straight girls are like around the not-so-straight ones so Brittany’s always cautious with how she comes off.  

Even if her cheeks burn a little, she’s glad Santana still has jokes and decides to make one of her own too.

“Don’t worry, Santana,” Brittany smirks as she hands over her phone, “If I was going to hit on you, you’d know it.”

Santana blushes hard but Brittany just misses it as Santana fishes out her phone from her bra, “Here. Let me get your number too.”

\\\\\

By Friday, word surprisingly hasn’t gotten around that Santana is going with Brittany. She knows she hasn’t told anyone – not even Quinn yet – so Brittany must’ve been staying quiet too. She’s kind of thankful for that, even if she didn’t explicitly tell Brittany not to.

But that isn’t the only thing she hasn’t explicitly told Brittany.

“Santana, you don’t have to be gay to go to a dance with another girl.”

Brittany’s words flash in Santana’s head like warning lights. She doesn’t know why she’s surprised by the statement; they’ve never talked about her sexuality before. Then again, it’s not something she loves to bring up in casual conversation nor is it something she flaunts.

She’s just shocked more than anything that Brittany doesn’t know yet considering how invasive everyone is at school.

\\

Santana’s in the locker room with Quinn getting ready for the Pep Rally when she finally tells her best friend the news.

“So I found a date,” Santana mentions before the rest of the squad joins them, “Well technically, the date found me.”

Quinn perks up, “Who?”

She can barely contain the smirk when she looks over at Quinn, “McKinley’s star QB.”

“No way!” Quinn gasps. A wide smile fills her face and makes her cheeks bunch, “That is so great, Santana. This is happening so much faster than I thought! God, I’m so surprised. Mike told me that she wasn’t going to go with anyone. I wonder what made her change her mind? Wait, what changed your mind?”

Santana wonders that too and a little part of her holds out hope that it was because she told Brittany she was having trouble finding a date. That gets Santana thinking; she couldn’t find a date because she didn’t want to go with a boy – and now the only girl at school that’s an option for her thinks she’s straight.

The fucking irony.

“So there’s just one small problem,” Santana notes without answering Quinn’s questions.

“What?”

“She…doesn’t know,” Santana says cryptically.

Quinn’s confused, “Doesn’t know what?”

“You know,” Santana prompts then goes to whisper, “She thinks I’m straight.”

Quinn’s jaw drops, “Wait. What?”

Santana just nods.

Quinn shakes her head, “No seriously, what?”

“I don’t know,” Santana says as she slumps down on the bench next to Quinn, “Is it weird that I’m disappointed? I mean, I know I don’t smell like a golf course or wear flannel 24/7 but like…really? I thought everyone knew by now?”

Quinn’s at a loss too, “The one time your reputation doesn’t come through for you.”

Santana let’s out a bitter laugh at that and looks to the floor, “What’s the point of being outed to literally everyone in this whole fucking town if I still have to come out to people myself?” Santana feels a lump instantly lodge itself in her throat and it becomes impossibly hard to swallow back. Her eyes feel hot and stingy, “They did it for me once and now that it would actually benefit me, no one wants to say anything? I thought people here loved talking shit about me behind my back? Where are they all now?”

She doesn’t notice that streams of tears have begun to run down her cheeks until Quinn’s wrapping an arm around her. Santana’s vision blurs as the sobs hit her hard. She hasn’t let herself cry about what happened in so long, maybe that’s why she broke so quickly at its very mention? She’s glad they’re still alone though, she’d hate for the rest of the squad to see her like this.

“Santana,” Quinn tries but it’s the only thing she can get out right now. She doesn’t know what to say that’ll make this go away so she just holds Santana upright and keeps her steady.  

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” Santana stammers as she takes a deep, shaky breath. When she finally believes her own words, she pushes to straighten up so she can wipe her face.

Quinn looks at her worriedly before she turning away so that Santana can continue to calm herself down. She knows how Santana gets when she fusses over her, so she tries to give her some space.

“I thought I could make jokes about it,” Santana mentions awhile later, “I guess I’m not ready yet.”

“It’s okay,” Quinn smiles apologetically. She waits a moment before suggesting, “Maybe look at it as a positive? Brittany’s one person you get to come out to on your own. You can do it however you want and I’m sure she’d be very understanding.”

That actually calms Santana a little. She thinks about her abuela and how she was the only person she came out to on her own terms and it completely blew up in her face. But with Brittany, she knows it would be different. She knows Brittany wouldn’t shut her out.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Santana nods, “I can control it this time.”

“Exactly,” Quinn gives her a pat on the knee, “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up. The girls will be here any minute.”

\\

When the Cheerios take to the gym, they do their usual routine of getting the crowd hyped up for Principal Figgins as he goes through with the usual announcements and Fall teams introductions. It’s all business for Santana as she works the crowd – that is until the Titans are called out and she feels something shift.

Brittany leads the team while wearing that award winning smile of hers. The rest of the guys pump their fists and cheer, motioning for the crowd of students to get louder as they spread out and get people amped up for their performance with the Cheerios.

It’s nothing special; the Cheerios and the Titans do something together every year for the Homecoming Pep Rally. It’s usually the same routine since it’s easier for the Titans to follow along when all they have to do is pair off with a Cheerio and groove to the music.

Santana sees the Hockey guys sulking off to the side – no one ever gets that loud when they are announced – and she finds herself smirking at how pissed they look. For a team that sucks so bad and swears that Hockey rules the school, they rarely get any applause that isn’t forced.

Brittany then surprises everyone by doing a no-handed cartwheel and it has the crowd in awe. Even Santana’s jaw drops a little as she watches Brittany stick the landing in one smooth motion before skipping over to stand next to her.

“Impressive, Pierce,” Santana comments as she shakes her pompoms.

Brittany lifts her shoulder as she moves easily to the rhythm of the song, “I use to do gymnastics.”

“Of course you did,” Santana chuckles as she keeps up with the choreography, “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Recite the alphabet backwards, parallel park, color in the lines…” Brittany lists playfully.

“Very funny,” Santana rolls her eyes. She goes to do a high kick before she’s dancing again next to Brittany, “You ready for the game tonight?”

“Totally,” Brittany nodded resolutely, “Should be fun. Are you?”

Santana lifted her shoulder similarly to what Brittany did before, “I’m interested to see how you do. We haven’t won a Homecoming game in years, so...”

Brittany giggled, “Well, I work pretty well under pressure so...”

Santana smirked as the routine ended, “We’ll see.”

\\\\\

To say that there’s a lot of pressure on Brittany to bring in a win is an understatement. After everything that happened with her stance on slushie facials and the way she spoke so highly of herself when it came to winning, Brittany kind of dug herself a hole. Not that she would take back anything she said – she was very serious when she vowed she could take the Titans to the Championships.

She knows she can, that’s why she’s so confident about it.

It’s just whether or not a select few members of the team are going to get with the program so that they can really start to thrive, because no matter how good she is – one person doesn’t win games.

There’s still Karofsky and Azimio being absolute pains in her ass then there’s Finn with his need to remind Brittany of every little thing that’s never been done purely because no one’s ever tried making any changes.

People here are just so set in their ways – happy to carry on with their so-called traditions although they suck. She can see the subtle changes in others on the team though – like very, very subtle changes – so she’ll take that as progress for now.

\\

The game against the Westvale Wizards ends up being a complete blow out. The Titans crush the Wizards in every aspect; so much so that Brittany started to feel a little bad about the score differentiation.

Home: 28 Away: 3

She doesn’t feel that bad though because she broke many personal records tonight and that’s bound to get some media attention. Not that it’s what she plays for, but her meeting with Ms. Pillsbury has her thinking about scouts and her future. She hopes she’s enough to grab their attention.

Westvale didn’t offer too much competition compared to going up against Carmel High, but a win is a win. It’s just what the team needs for morale and it’s a great way to end Spirit Week and put everyone in a good mood for the Homecoming Dance. Apparently, the last time the Titans won a Homecoming game was nearly six years ago so it’s yet another record Brittany gets to claim as they move on to being 6-1.

\\

After giving out handshakes to the other team, Brittany makes her way off the field for some water and finds Santana lingering by the sidelines along with the other Cheerios. The rest of them are getting packed up but Santana’s just watching Brittany as she draws near.

Brittany sees her holding a green Gatorade cup in her hand and it puts a smile on Brittany’s face.

“Well, you didn’t disappoint,” Santana says once Brittany’s close enough. She hands the cup over to the blonde, “Great game, Pierce.”

Brittany’s smile grows as she sets her helmet down on the bench so she can take the drink, “Thanks. It was a team effort.”

“And always so humble too,” Santana notes with a chuckle.

“Really couldn’t have done it without your amazing cheers though,” Brittany winks just before she nods over at the squad, “Great stuff.”

Santana looks behind her and shrugs, “It was a team effort.”

Brittany can’t help but laugh at that, “Of course.”

Santana can be so damn cute sometimes without even trying – at least, Brittany doesn’t think she is. Really, Brittany can’t understand how she got so lucky with getting to be Santana’s date. Well, not her date date.

Brittany’s pretty sure that’s off the table.

She’s just honored that she gets to go with someone she genuinely likes to be around. It’ll be cool to hang out with Santana in a different setting other than Miss Holliday’s classroom or practice or in passing in the hallways.

Which reminds her…

“So about tomorrow,” Brittany mentions a little timidly. She plays with the paper cup in her hand, “Did you want to meet there? Or I can pick you up if you want? You’ll have to text me your address. Although, fair warning: I’m not very good at directions. The whole in 300 feet turn left thing always confuses me like how am I suppose to know how much that is…” Brittany pauses when she sees Santana start to raise her brow, “I’m rambling, sorry.”

Santana chuckles, “How about I pick you up at yours? I already know where you live anyway.”

Brittany nods, “Okay, yeah.”

“Doors open at 7:30,” Santana mentions, “I can come by around 7?”

“Yeah,” Brittany grins, “That sounds good to me.”

“Cool.”

“Yup.”

“Yo Pierce!” Mike calls out to her from where the team has started to gather for a post-game huddle, “Get over here!”

Brittany tosses up her hand in a wave before turning back to Santana, “Sorry, I better get over there. Thanks again for the drink.”

Santana just nods, the same small smile playing at her lips.

It makes Brittany smile too and for a second it makes her trip up on her words, “Uh…so I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Santana nods again, “Yeah, text me. Congrats on the win again.”

Brittany’s smile widens before she’s jogging over to the huddle. She wasn’t all that jazzed for the dance at first, but now that she’s going with Santana she starts to feel the excitement build.

Now, she can’t wait for tomorrow night.

[twstarchives]

More Accurate Than Any Scale

Card: Lab Coat - SR Characters: Vil, Rook, Trey, Riddle (mentioned)

Chapter 1

—LABORATORY—

Vil: It was rather kind of the science club advisor to let us use the lab and its chemicals.

Have you been acting oddly compliant with your club activities lately, Rook?

Rook: He gave me the okay right after I told him I just wanted to help make some chemicals to use for special effects in one of the film club’s shoots.

Although, he did ask me to turn in a list of all the chemicals and reaction formulas I’ll be using, how long I’ll be in here, and a safety plan in case of an emergency.

Vil: You’ve gotten your teachers awfully wary of you! I suppose that means you act as free-spirited as you always do in your clubs too.

Well, let’s start already to avoid putting the time you got us to waste.

Now then, the chemicals we’ll be using are... ah, here.

Mix a spoonful of this in the colored water...

(Poof!)

Rook: Oh! That made black smoke appear! Are we finished already, then?

Vil: It’s a little different than the color I have in mind. It should be darker... black enough that it could blend in with the night.

I’ll try adjusting the amount we put in a little. A little more than a spoonful...

(Poof!)

Rook: Hmm. It grew a little darker. How’s that?

Vil: Not quite. It’s a little too blue now. Perhaps there’s something wrong with the water...

Rook: Would you even be able to tell the difference through the camera?

Vil: Do not ask me to compromise with something that’s going to appear in front of an audience. The smoke will take up a very wide portion of the screen.

Without an effective color that highlights the costumes, as well as the actors’ expressions, hair, and eyes, everything will be ruined.

We need to keep making small adjustments to prevent that. ...Perhaps this will work?

(Poof!) 

Vil: ...Yes, that is a nice black.

Now that we’ve made the smoke, our next shooting will be flawless.

Rook: Oh, even though you haven’t taken care of yourself yet?

Vil: ...Excuse me?

Rook: When are you going to start your diet?

Vil, you’ve gained a little weight here these past three days. Your jawline looks slightly off.

Vil: What—?! That can’t be right.

I’m never careless about my health, and not a single one of my 5 million-plus Magicam followers has pointed anything like that out.

Besides, I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary when examining myself in the mirror.

Rook: Ah, Roi du Poison. Between me and everyone else, who would you choose to believe?

I’m always telling you this: I’ve spent much more time looking at you than you have spent looking in the mirror.

Above all else, that is the one thing I’ll always guarantee you.

Vil: ...Alright. I’ll take your word for it.

Rook: Oh, I should get going now. It’s time for my very important fieldwork.

Vil: Ah, hold on! ...Running off right after he said what he needed to, I see.

Well, I’m finished with the smoke, so I should clean up and then head back.

—EXTERIOR HALLWAY—

Vil: I need to get back to the dorm as soon as I can to check my scale.

Trey: Hm...? Fancy meeting you here, Vil. Were you doing something in the lab?

Although, I could’ve sworn I’ve heard about a private lab in Pomefiore’s basement.

Vil: Oh, Trey. Today was an exception; there were some chemicals I needed in the school lab.

Rook let me know there should’ve been a bottle of the kind I needed here after I’d realized I was short.

Does everyone in the science club keep track of which chemicals are kept in the lab?

Trey: No, Rook’s just particularly observant. I don’t remember anything except the ones I use myself.

He’s good at memorizing the most random things, huh?

Vil: That’s for certain... Like people’s jawlines.

Trey: Jawlines...?

Vil: Oh, nothing.

Trey: I see. Hey, do you and Rook like sweets?

I actually have some cake leftover. Baking one in an 18-centimeter pan ended up a little too much for Riddle’s afternoon tea.

So I’ve been going around offering slices to everyone.

Vil: I was wondering what you were doing wandering around with that thing in your hands... So there’s a cake inside that box?

Trey: Yeah. Gotta say, I really outdid myself on this one. See how fresh the strawberries are? Makes your mouth water, doesn’t it?

Vil: Very true. But I’ll have to pass. I’ve just begun dieting.

Feel free to make Rook take two servings, though.

Trey: Seems like something happened between you two... Well, I can probably take a guess.

Vil, if you’ve got time, why don’t you stop by Heartslabyul?

I could offer you some of this delicious herbal tea I have.

Vil: Herbal tea... Is there any chance it has lemongrass in it?

Trey: Ah, yeah, it does.

Vil: I’d love to, then. Its detoxifying properties would be perfect for me right now.

Chapter 2

—HEARTSLABYUL DORM - KITCHEN—

Trey: Thanks for waiting, Vil. Here’s your herbal tea.

Vil: Thank you, Trey. ...It smells lovely.

Trey: I also brought a piece of cake just in case. I baked it fresh today, you know.

Vil: I can tell just by looking at it that it’s something you’re proud of. But, I still think I’ll just stick to the tea.

               (Vil takes a sip)

Vil: ...Mm, delicious. Where did you find these tea leaves?

Trey: The school store. It’s rare to see leaves with a hundred years of history behind them in stock.

You can take some back with you if you’d like; I’ve got plenty. I wouldn’t be able to finish them all myself before the flavor faded.

Vil: Well, if you insist. I take it you’ll wrap them up later.

Trey: Oh, and about our earlier conversation. What did you say happened with Rook?

Vil: It wasn’t anything important. I suppose you could say he’s just been watching me a little too closely.

Of course, it’s helpful that he’s able to notice changes in me quicker than even I can...

But don’t you think it’s so rude to just tell me “You got fat” out of nowhere?

There’s a difference between being honest and being considerate. I suppose he just left his ability to be “considerate” back in the woods.

Trey: Ah... Well, it’s true that wasn’t the best way to word it...

Rook always blurts out his thoughts, whether they’re good or bad. It surprises me at times too.

Vil: Hmph. Perhaps I should’ve expected that he’s like this even during club meetings.

Trey: The other day, actually, our club advisor proposed an experiment and Rook immediately went “That’s such a boring idea.”

We ended up doing a much more complicated experiment. The freshmen couldn’t figure out how to do anything, so they just wound up just standing around for the rest of the period.

Vil: I can imagine how that must’ve looked.

And it was all left up to you to lead the freshmen, wasn’t it?

Trey: Saying I “led them” is giving me too much credit, but... a little, yes.

Vil: You always work so much.

Riddle is lucky to have you in Heartslabyul.

Trey: What?

Vil: You know, you come up in conversations at the dorm leader meetings sometimes. About how great of a vice dorm leader you are.

Trey: Oh, that’s... the first I’ve heard of that. Honestly, I’m a little surprised.

I just don’t want to lose my head. I don’t think that should warrant any praise.

Vil: There’s no need to be so modest. You should accept praise when it’s given.

Those who can’t read into things might just blindly believe your words despite the fact that you’re just trying to be humble.

Well, if that’s the kind of impression you want to give, then that’s fine... but it’s still just selling yourself short.

Trey: You sure are harsh. But you must know what you’re talking about, as someone whose job is wholly based on others judging you.

I’ll try to watch myself from now on.

Vil: Yes, please do. It makes the one doing the complimenting feel good too.

Besides, letting yourself feel happy about getting praised helps alleviate stress.

Especially for you, who is always running around to tend to your selfish young master.

Trey: I really don’t think I’m stressing myself out over Riddle.

Vil: Well, alright. If you say so...

Trey: It’s the truth. After all, I have a trick to not feel stressed.

Vil: Oh? A trick? I’m curious.

Trey: Wanna know what it is?

Vil: My, you’re certainly acting cheeky now.

Trey: I’ll only say it once, so listen carefully!

Vil: Alright...

Trey: It’s to not hold back on the sweets. Especially cakes filled with fruit.

Vil: Incredible. I was wondering where you were going with this. ...Heh.

Alright. I’ll try a bit of your fruit cake.

I’ll just have to add a few extra laps to my run tomorrow morning.

Trey: I probably shouldn’t be telling you this since you’re a model, but...

I really don’t think one slice of cake is going to do anything to your figure. You’re already so skinny anyway.

Vil: I’d prefer the term “fit,” if you wouldn’t mind.

But Rook’s watchful gaze on me is more accurate than any scale. Perhaps even more than a mirror.

Trey: Really...

Vil: Mm, delicious. You’ve gotten better at this, haven’t you, Trey?

Do let me know if Riddle ever has it be off with your head. I’ll make you our dorm’s personal pastry chef.

Trey: I’ll try not to let that happen.

Having to worry about the calorie count with every dessert I make for Pomefiore sounds troublesome.

Vil: Wouldn’t it be a great learning opportunity?

[robinrunsfiction]

I See Stars

Pairing: Teacher!Gerard Way x Teacher!Female Reader Rating: General  Requested By: None Word Count: ~6,000 Author’s Note: A few things about this story. First, this is one of the stories where the moodboard came before the story. Second, I specifically chose to name the school what I did because there is an actual school named that and I know it because my Dad went there when he was a kid, not just because of the song, but it does work on that level too. Third, the story and the title were inspired by the song Starz by Ben Kweller which you should listen to sometime if you haven’t before, like on repeat while reading this. Lastly, this is just really fluffy. Like... that’s it. I’m not kidding. There is no twist, I’m being 100% honest with you. Life is hard enough lately, let’s just be happy and read some damn fluff yes? Yes, ok enjoy.

"I would like to welcome everyone back for what is sure to be another successful year at Our Lady of Sorrows Academy," Headmaster O’Connor announced from his place behind the podium.

(YN) looked around the auditorium excitedly, taking in the way the teachers seemed to be grouped together. Most of the faculty seemed like they were older, probably working here for many years, but she did spot a couple of others that seemed to be about her age. She wished she hadn't been so early so she would have had an excuse to sit by them as they seemed very friendly with each other, and she was hoping to meet new potential friends.

“I’m happy to welcome some new staff this year. Barb Jones will be teaching algebra,” an older woman stood up and gave a wave. “And (YFN) (YLN) is joining the English department,” the headmaster announced. (YN) stood as well and smiled, hoping that she was making a good first impression. She'd been hired on to replace a teacher who had retired at the end of the last school year and she realized that this probably meant she had large shoes to fill, but the challenge excited her and she was beyond excited for the increase in pay and prestige that came with teaching at a private preparatory school with a stellar reputation like OLSA. 

After a few more introductions and a bit of a pep talk from the Headmaster regarding expectations and achievement, the teachers were dismissed to their classrooms before the departmental meetings began. (YN) found her room near the front of the building and before opening the door, she took a deep breath and realized that she had finally made it, she had her own classroom full of possibilities. Not a space to share with other teachers who would rearrange the desks, or fill the drawers with empty pens and dried out markers, and put up stupid posters that would ultimately get vandalized.

She opened the door and took in the room. The walls and two tall bookshelves were bare, waiting to be filled, and the desks were in neat rows. She went to the windows that looked out on the tree lined street and smiled thinking about how the leaves would glow when autumn settled in. She walked around to the desk in the front of the room and ran her hands over the smooth, cool wood. She sat down into the chair and spun around in it while giggling with delight until she heard voices coming down the hall and she stopped and straightened up. 

She couldn’t wait for the new school year to begin.

~

(YN) had never felt so relieved to hear the lunch bell ring. 

As the students filed out of the classroom, she sank down into her desk chair and held her throbbing head in her hands. The first day wasn’t supposed to be like this. She expected some of the students would be excited and maybe some would be bored or irritated that summer was over, but instead they were aggressive about the curriculum, asking questions she wasn’t prepared for and pulling no punches. After a deep breath, she grabbed her bag, got up, and started walking in the opposite direction of the noisy cafeteria.

Eventually she found herself in a stairwell and decided to go up. When she opened the door at the top of the stairs, she was blinded by the bright sunlight of the early September afternoon. She blinked a few times before propping the door open with her bag, and sat against the brick wall. The noise of the city just beyond the walls of the building was loud as it always was, but it felt less imposing than the noise of the students confined within the school  below her. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, centering herself. For a moment she finally felt just a little relaxed.

"What are you doing up here?"

(YN)'s eyes snapped open. Standing over her was another teacher, hand on one hip, coffee in the other. "Sorry, I just needed some quiet, I didn't-" she apologized as she scrambled to her feet. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” He laughed. “I just didn’t expect anyone else to be here, it’s been my secret getaway since I started working here,” he said sitting down next to where she had been, leaning against the wall. (YN) didn’t know if he expected her to leave him alone until she realized he was smiling up at her and patting the ground next to where he was sitting. “I’m Gerard Way, I’m in the art department. You’re (YN), right? The new English teacher?”

“Yep, that’s me,” (YN) nodded, relaxing a little as she sat down.

“So what brings you up here?”

“I’ve got a massive headache. I thought I was prepared for the first day, but the environment here is so much more overwhelming than my old school. These kids are…”

“Intense?”

“Yes! That’s exactly it!”

Gerard laughed. “Yea, that’s what happens when most of the students are expected to get into the Ivy League.”

“At least I can brace for the afternoon,” (YN) sighed. “How long have you been working here?”

“A couple years. I never felt like I fit in with a staff until I started here, which is strange given that it’s such a traditional environment, but I’ve met two of my closest friends working here.”

“Who are they?”

“Ray in the music department and Frank, he teaches political science and social studies.”

“Oh yea, I think I’ve seen them at one meeting or the other.”

“They’re good guys,”Gerard nodded before glancing down at his watch. “I hope your headache is better, the lunch hour is almost over.”

(YN) nodded and stood up. “Thanks for not kicking me out of your secret hideaway.”

“Feel free to come up here anytime,” Gerard replied as he got to his feet as well. He held the door open for (YN) as she picked up her bag.

“Maybe I will,” she nodded as she waved and headed off to her classroom.

The afternoon went by a bit more smoothly than the morning had. The last class of the day had been dismissed and (YN) let out a sigh of relief when there was a knock on the door.

“Excuse me, Ms. (YLN). do you have a minute?”

(YN) looked up and saw one of her sophomore students at the door. “Yes, how can I help you Sadie?”

“Well there are a lot of academic organizations and sports teams, but I want to start a new club, so my college applications can be more well-rounded, and we need an advisor.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“A creative writing club. I have a few friends who are interested, but we don’t have a formal organization yet. Would you be willing to supervise it?” Sadie asked pleadingly.

“Sure! That sounds like a really good idea. When would you like to have the first meeting?”

“Can we start next Tuesday after school? I can make fliers tonight.”

“That works for me. I’m honored you want me to help.”

“You were my first choice,” Sadie smiled. “I can tell you’re kind of nerdy, like me.”

(YN) laughed lightly. “Well, I can’t argue with you on that.”

“Own it,” Sadie grinned. “Anyway, thanks Ms. (YLN), I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said before hurrying out. (YN) shook her head and smiled. It had been a long day, but this was exactly what made teaching worth it in the end.

~

It was a few weeks into the school year when Gerard was called for a meeting with Headmaster O'Connor. 

“Mr. Way, I’ve given you a bit of leeway regarding the expectations of instructors here, but in the interest of fairness to the rest of the faculty, I must insist that you start meeting the standards of your employment as a teacher at OLSA that have been neglected,” Headmaster O’Connor explained.

Gerard sat up straighter in the chair and cleared his throat. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s expected that all faculty advise at least one club or team.”

“Oh, Ray and Frank are running the music club, right? I’ll help with that.”

“No, we limit the number of advisors per organization to two so that there is a good balance throughout the school and no club has to go without, or we have an organization with more adults than students. You’ll need to find something else. Also you might find yourself spending more time volunteering at things like sporting events, it will only help you in the long run around here.”

“I’m not the sporting event type,” Gerard clarified.

“Fine, social events then. We just do not want these tasks to fall on some of our other already overburdened staff.”

“So someone complained I wasn’t pulling my weight?” Gerard smirked.

Headmaster O’Connor chuckled and shook his head. “Gerard, I like you, that’s why I hired you. You’re a much needed breath of fresh air in this school. But yes, some of our more senior staff think that maybe you are due to be pulling a bit more weight.”

Gerard sighed. “Ok, I’ll see what I can do.”

The next night Gerard had stayed late hanging up the first art projects the students had completed in the small school gallery. As he walked down the hall toward the front entrance to leave, he thought he heard music despite the late hour. He turned down the corridor and saw the lights were on in the room where the music was coming from. He peeked in the door and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face when he saw it was (YN), straightening up the classroom as she softly sang along to the song. He knocked on the door frame and she whipped around.

“Gerard, hey! You’re really good at startling me,” she laughed.

“Sorry,” he realized that it wasn't the first time he had done that and felt himself blush. “I was just wondering what you’re still doing here?”

“I’m advising the creative writing club.”

Gerard’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I didn’t even know we had a creative writing club, that’s cool. I’ve been writing and drawing my own comic books for a long time now.”

“Seriously? That’s really interesting! We just started the club a couple weeks ago, so please feel free to drop by our next meeting.”

“Tuesday after school?”

“Yep,” she smiled.

Gerard nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve recently been informed by Headmaster O'Connor that I should be advising a club.”

“Even better! Different creative perspectives would be great for the students,” she said turning off the music and gathering her jacket and her bag. “Ya know, I’ve always wanted to get into comic books, but I just don’t know where to start. There are so many, it’s kinda overwhelming.”

“I could bring you a few from my collection and you could try,” he offered as they walked out of the school.

“I’d appreciate it! Well, I’m going this way,” she said nodding down the street as the sun began to set, illuminating them in a warm orange glow.

“I’m going this way,” he pointed the opposite direction.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she smiled and waved. Gerard waved and watched her head up the street for a minute before he turned to head home.

~

The fall semester seemed to be flying by and (YN) was adjusting well to the new school, but the highlight of each week was definitely the creative writing club meetings. The small group of students were fantastic writers, bringing both short stories and poetry for the other students to listen to and offer advice and critiques. (YN) also found that she enjoyed the time she got to spend with Gerard. As promised, he started bringing her comics to read and she devoured each one so they could spend time after the students left discussing the characters and plots.

It was late fall when the faculty of OLSA sat in the auditorium for their biweekly meeting. Gerard found himself tuning in and out of the meeting because as an art teacher, a lot of what was being discussed didn’t apply to him. Then one of the history teachers got up and started talking about organizing the winter formal that was in a couple weeks, catching Gerard’s attention.

“With the students’ help, we have the DJ booked, and decorations and refreshments planned, but what we really need are a couple more chaperones.”

“I’ll do it,” Gerard spoke up, causing both Ray and Frank to look at him like he grew two heads. But he didn’t notice as he was trying to see if (YN) had heard. To his relief she was looking over with a smile on her face.

“Oh, great! Thank you Gerard,” the history teacher replied.

“Are you seriously going to chaperone a dance?” Ray asked as they walked down the hall after the meeting was over.

“Yea, well O’Connor was on me to help out around here more,” Gerard shrugged.

“And it has nothing to do with the new English teacher? What’s her name again?” Frank chided.

“(YN) and I don’t even know if she’s gonna be there,” Gerard countered.

“I bet she will be, she’s always volunteering to help out. She seems really nice.” Ray nodded before heading off to the music wing.

“Lucky you then,” Frank flashed a wicked grin at Gerard before heading up the stairs to his classroom. Gerard just shook his head and made his way to his own classroom for the start of the day.

~

(YN) walked into the gym as the DJ was finishing setting up his equipment. The lights in the gym had been turned off and the room was illuminated by strand after strand of fairy lights, like stars in the night sky.

"Hey," she heard someone say behind her. She turned to find Gerard, dressed especially nicely for the event in a well fitting suit.

"Hey, you look nice!" She greeted him with a smile.

"You too," he replied. He seemed a little in awe and she was glad the lights were dim, as she knew she was blushing.

"So what do we need to do?" Gerard asked after a moment of silence hung between them.

"Haven't you chaperoned a dance before?" She asked. Gerard shook his head in reply. "Well, if it's anything like my old school, when the students start arriving, we just make sure they don't spike the punch, or get in any fights, or dance too inappropriately."

"Oh, yea, that makes sense," he nodded, feeling slightly foolish for even having asked.

Soon the DJ started playing and students began trickling in. They mostly stuck to the walls, huddled together, glancing across the room at other groups doing the same. But then as more and more kids started to arrive, the dance floor began to fill up and the night got into full swing. (YN) and Gerard watched the crowd from the edges along with the other faculty that volunteered to be there and thankfully everyone seemed to be on good behavior, making their jobs easy.

After many fast songs, the DJ finally switched to a slow ballad. (YN) watched fondly as the students paired off. It reminded her of the dances she went to when she was in high school and all the good memories that she had there. That was part of the reason why she wanted to become a teacher; because even though those years can be difficult, she knew they could also be so important and rewarding.

"Do you wanna dance?" Gerard asked, pulling (YN) out of her thoughts.

"Oh, sure," she nodded.

He placed one hand on her waist and took her hand in the other. She placed her free hand on his arm and looked up at him as they started to sway to the music. Her heart was pounding and she was glad they were keeping a safe distance apart so he wouldn't notice it.

(YN) really liked being around Gerard, she was glad he had found his way to her classroom and started helping with her club. He was so easy to talk to, and she looked forward to running into him every day whether in the hallways or up on the roof. But now under the twinkling lights, it was like she was finally hearing her heart for the first time. She didn’t just like Gerard as a friend, she realized she had a full blown crush on him. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her fondly causing her cheeks to burn red again.

It was far too soon when the song ended, but they lingered hand in hand, searching each other's eyes for some kind of sign. Suddenly there was a shriek across the gym and they both looked over to see two boys shoving each other.

“Sorry,” Gerard said before hurrying across the gym to help break up the scuffle.

(YN) sighed. She had to remember that dating a coworker could be totally against the rules, she never had reason to check the employee handbook to find out. And if things went wrong she’d still have to see him every day. She knew she’d be better off just pushing her feelings aside, but that didn’t change the fact that they were there.

~

“Hey Ms. (YLN)?”

“Yes Sadie?” (YN) addressed her student as the others filed out of the room after the first class back from winter break.

Sadie glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were alone. “Are you and Mr. Way dating?"

(YN)'s eyes went wide. "No! Why would you think that?"

"I dunno, I was thinking about it over break and it just seems like there’s something between you two at the writing club meetings and you'd be like super cute together! I bet you're dating by the end of the year, if not married, before I graduate!"

"Sadie, you can't ship your teachers, it's not appropriate."

"You know about shipping?"

"The internet was around 10 years ago when I was your age ya know," (YN) replied snidely.

"Well, you should at least consider it because it'd be really cute," she grinned before turning and hurrying out of the room.

(YN) sat back in her chair and let out a sigh. She had considered it, she considered it almost every day since the dance, and she couldn't help but wonder if he had too. She opened her desk drawer and started digging. Finally she found the binder she was looking for and turned to the index. Not finding the topic of interest she started flipping through, skimming page after page, excitement and nerves growing. Finally she reached the end and then went back through again. After a third check she shut the binder with a grin.

"Any plans for the night?" Gerard asked as they walked out of the building that evening. After the last class of the day he had come to her classroom to talk about the latest comics he had lent her.

"No, but umm, do you maybe wanna go get dinner?" (YN) asked, her eyes hopeful.

A grin spread across Gerard's face. "Yea, that would be great."

"There's a deli a couple blocks over I really like," she suggested.

"Let's go," he smiled, shifting his bag up his shoulder and adjusting his scarf against the cold January wind.

"I guess I never asked, but do you live close?" (YN) asked.

"I live in Jersey with my little brother Mikey," Gerard explained.

"Oh, doesn't the commute get long?"

"It's not bad. Gives me time to listen to music and read, whatever," he shrugged. “Are you nearby?”

"Yea, I live with a roommate a few blocks up."

“Are you from the city originally?” Gerard asked

“No, I moved here after college, you?”

“Again, Jersey,” Gerard chuckled.

They continued chatting until they arrived at the diner. (YN) was relieved that their evening was going as well as she hoped it would. Maybe Gerard just liked her as a friend, but that didn’t change the fact that she was having fun spending time with him. After their meal was finished, they walked back into the cold night air, but neither made a move to leave. 

“I really enjoyed hanging out with you outside of work,” Gerard said.

“Same,” (YN) nodded.

“We should go on another date sometime soon,” he replied almost a little nervously.

(YN) smiled broadly. “Yea, that would be cool,” she agreed, trying not to sound too over eager. They exchanged a lingering hug before they both headed off toward their homes.

The next morning (YN) walked into her classroom and noticed that something had been left on her desk. The night before she and Gerard had discussed their favorite coffee shops and their regular coffee orders, and on her desk was a coffee, fixed just like she liked, a fresh stack of comics and a note that read ‘Thanks for the wonderful dinner last night, can’t wait to return the favor. xo G’ She felt herself blush and stifled a squeal of delight, but quickly recomposed herself as the students began to file in for the first hour of the day.

~

(YN) and Gerard had been on a few dates, mostly just grabbing coffee or dinner after work, but finally they were on what felt more like a real date than any of the others. They had met up on a Saturday afternoon to grab lunch and then they were browsing (YN)’s favorite bookstore.

“I feel like as an English teacher everyone expects that my favorite book should be some kind of classic novel, or Shakespeare, or something, but honestly I just really like a clever mystery,” (YN) explained as they walked through the rows and rows of books. 

“Really? What’s your favorite?” 

(YN)’s eyes scanned the shelves. “Here it is,” she said, pulling out a book. “It’s a mystery series based around a witch museum in England. It’s written from the point of view of the protagonist and it’s so funny and smart.”

“It sounds good, I’ll have to get it,” Gerard smiled, taking the book from her hands.

“You don’t have to do that, you can borrow my copy, I have the whole series,” she smiled, placing her hand on his and looking up at him with a smile. "I'd really like to have someone to talk about it with."

"I could listen to you talk forever," Gerard replied, the words tumbling out of his mouth and (YN) couldn't mask the surprise on her face. "I really like you (YN),” he confessed after a moment.

"I really like you too Gerard," she replied, barely above a whisper. As if in slow motion, they found themselves leaning in, their lips so close, but not touching as she glanced up at him for one more second before closing her eyes and his lips pressed against hers.

Just like when they danced, her heart felt like it could burst out of her chest. For a moment she wondered if he could feel it, but as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him, she didn't care. All that mattered was this moment with Gerard that she'd been thinking about for what felt like ages, in her favorite bookstore, in front of her favorite book no less. (YN) was certain it really couldn't get any better than this.

~

(YN) and Gerard’s relationship continued to get better and better through the cold winter months. Gerard delighted in finding any excuse he could to drop off little notes or gifts for (YN) to find in her desk during the day, like on Valentine’s Day he even left a rose with a cute little drawing of the two of them together for her to find.

"Me, Ray and Frank were gonna go check out this band tonight, do you wanna come too?" Gerard asked during their lunch hour a few weeks later.

"I don't wanna intrude," she objected.

"No, I want you to come along. I wanna finally let them know that we're," he trailed off as he reached over and took her hand.

"Going out?" She filled in.

"Yea, because I want the world to know you're my girl," he said with a blushing smile.

"Well in that case, sure, I'd love to go along," she smiled. "And for what it's worth, I couldn't be happier to be your girl,” she said leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek.

That evening (YN) walked into the small venue and spotted her three coworkers at a table in the corner. "Hey guys," she greeted taking the open chair next to Gerard.

"Hey, how's it going?" Ray smiled.

"Good, what a long week though," she sighed. "I dunno if midterms are harder on us or the students."

Frank hummed in agreement as he took a swig of his beer. "I hear ya."

The group settled into a comfortable conversation until the first band took the stage. (YN) found herself having a lot of fun and not like the odd one out as she previously worried she would be. The guys all had encyclopedic knowledge of music, and it was fascinating to listen to them talk. 

“I still wanna start a band, I haven’t been in one for ages,” Frank announced.

“Who is gonna wanna see a bunch of teachers play music?” Ray countered.

“Wasn’t Sting a teacher? And Gene Simmons at one point?” (YN) offered.

“That’s true,” Frank nodded.

“Well if you need a singer,” Gerard shrugged.

“Wait, you can sing too?” (YN) asked, eyebrows raised. What she didn’t notice was the look being exchanged by Ray and Frank.

When the main act took the stage, Gerard slid his chair closer to (YN)’s, and put his arm around her shoulders. (YN) settled in, resting against him forgetting that the others were unaware of their relationship.

“Oh, so this really is a thing?” Frank said looking between the two after the first song was over.

“Has been for a while,” Gerard replied with a sly smile.

“I should have known,” Ray laughed. “I could tell something was up, I just couldn’t tell what.”

“Yea, I'm happier than I have been in a long time," Gerard replied, pressing a kiss to the side of (YN)'s head and she smiled contentedly. 

"So if the art room’s a rockin, don't come a knockin?" Frank winked and Ray groaned.

"Come on man," Gerard sighed, feeling his cheeks burning red.

(YN) rolled her eyes. "See this is why we didn't say anything."

"I'm kidding!" Frank laughed. "You guys are really good together. I was wondering how long it would take you to realize it."

~

Despite their friends knowing about their relationship, Gerard and (YN) were still keeping things as platonic as possible while at work. Luckily they had been hanging out so much before they started dating, appearances didn’t change much when they ate lunch in one of their classrooms, or met up for coffee before work and walked in together.

One morning (YN) overslept, having stayed up late reading the latest collection of comics Gerard had lent her. As she rushed through her room getting ready, she grabbed the first black cardigan she found draped over the back of her desk chair and threw it on, before hurrying off to work. The day passed uneventfully until she noticed a familiar student lingering after class.

“Hi Sadie, what’s up?” She asked pleasantly.

“Ms. (YLN), is that Mr. Way’s sweater?” Sadie asked.

(YN) tried to keep calm, but her mind was spinning. She had realized by her second class of the day that she had grabbed Gerard’s sweater that he had left at her apartment, but she didn’t think for a second anyone would realize it. “What? Why would you think that?”

“The paint stain on the elbow. I bumped into him with my palette in class one day and he got paint on his elbow. It looks just like the stain on your elbow.”

“Must just be a funny coincidence. I like to paint too, I must have stuck my elbow in my paint and didn’t notice,” (YN) shrugged.

Sadie nodded her head, but (YN) knew by the look on her face that she didn’t believe her at all. “Ok. Well, then that's another thing you two have in common.”

“Shouldn’t you be going to your next class?” (YN) asked with a tight lipped smile and Sadie accepted that she wouldn’t be getting the answer she was seeking that day and left the room.

~

“So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Gerard replied with a smile and glanced over at (YN) in the passenger seat. 

Friday had become their regular date night, and that evening they went out to Jersey, got in Gerard's car and started driving away from the city. (YN) laughed lightly and shook her head as she watched the trees fly by. The spring evening cooled sun as the sun began to lower in the sky, and Gerard pulled into the entrance of a county park tucked out in the country.

“I like to come out here when I want to get away from the noise and crowds of the city for a while,” Gerard said as he pulled into the parking lot that bordered a small lake.

They got out and Gerard grabbed a bag from the backseat, pulling out a blanket. Gerard led the way to a bench at the edge of the sandy beach and wrapped them both in the blanket as the sky glowed golden above them.

“This sunset reminds me of that day,” (YN) started.

“When I stayed late and ran into you,” Gerard finished.

“Yes!” (YN) laughed.

“Can I tell you something?” Gerard asked, almost a little sheepishly.

“Hmm?”

“I thought you were cute from the first time I saw you, but I think I started to have a crush on you that day.”

“That’s adorable,” (YN) grinned. “I think I realized I had a crush on you while we were chaperoning that dance.”

“I only volunteered to do it because I thought you would be there,” Gerard replied.

“I thought you said O’Connor was on your case?” She said elbowing him playfully.

“Well that too, but I’d rather impress you than him.”

(YN) just hummed in agreement and put her head on his shoulder. “Wait, is it gonna get dark enough out here to see stars?”

“Yea, that’s why I wanted to come out here with you.”

“Aww, thanks Gee,” she replied snuggling closer to him as he drew the blankets around them even tighter. They watched the stars start to appear overhead as the sky grew dark. There had been so many quiet moments when Gerard and (YN) spent time together, but this felt extra special as they were so very alone, away from the whole world. 

Once the cold air couldn’t be fought off by the blanket, they made their way back to the car and drove back toward the city. Gerard wished he wasn’t driving so he could watch her. That’s what he had done for most of their time in the park, watching her watch the stars above with a look of awe and wonderment and he was certain he hadn’t felt this way for someone before. (YN) glanced over at Gerard and smiled. He reached over and took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

(YN) yawned when they arrived back at Gerard’s house and got out of the car. “Thank you for the lovely evening.”

“Do you wanna stay over?” Gerard asked. It wouldn’t be the first time, but the simplicity of the evening felt special and he didn’t want it to end.

“Yea, I’d love to,” she nodded as he took her hand and they headed inside together.

~

"Aren't you gonna be late for school?"

The words split through Gerard's slumber and he sat bolt upright, (YN), already sitting up, had a look of confusion and shock that must have matched his.

"What time is it?" She gasped.

Gerard grabbed his phone off the coffee table. He didn’t even remember falling asleep on the couch the night before. "8:04, oh my god we’re late!"

"Why didn't my alarms go off?!" (YN) asked in a panic, grabbing her own phone to see what was wrong. "Oh my god, that’s right it's Saturday," she replied, sinking back on the couch, putting her head in her hands with a weary laugh.

"Mikey! That wasn't funny!" Gerard shouted at his brother who had retreated back to his room with a bowl of cereal.

(YN) laughed. "It was a little funny."

Gerard laughed lightly and ran his hand through his black hair. "Yea I guess,” he said as he looked up at (YN), the sunlight through the curtains illuminating her face. He noticed the makeup from the night before was smudged a little bit around her eyes, and her hair was messy from sleep, but to Gerard she looked like the most perfect thing he’d ever seen. He recognized the same feelings from the night before and it dawned on him. "Hey (YN)?"

"Yea?" She asked looking up at him, eyebrows raised.

"I love you.” 

(YN)’s expression softened at the words. “I wanna say something clever, but I can’t think of anything better than I love you too, Gerard.”

Gerard sat up and grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her as deeply as he could. When they pulled back, breathless, Gerard rested his forehead against hers as they both smiled at each other lovingly.

“Are you guys just gonna makeout on the couch all day?” Mikey asked.

“If it will bug you, then yes,” Gerard retorted. Mikey huffed in annoyance on his way to the kitchen.

~

“Just like that your first year at Our Lady of Sorrows Academy is over,” Gerard smiled from where he was leaning against the door frame of (YN)’s classroom.

“And what a year it was,” (YN) replied, placing the last of her things that she was taking home in her bag. "It's going to be weird going from seeing you almost every day to not,” she pouted.

"You make it sound like it's a Jane Austen novel and we'll only be able to communicate by letter," Gerard laughed as he pushed himself off the door frame and walked over to her.

"Would you write to me from all the way in New Jersey?" She giggled.

"I'll write you a love letter every day," he said wrapping his arms around her. "Even days when we're together. I'll hide them for you to find later."

(YN) grinned and buried her face against his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him as well. "You're too cute," she mumbled before looking up at him. Gerard smiled back before leaning in and kissing her. 

"I knew it!"

Gerard and (YN) jumped apart and turned to see Sadie in the doorway.

"What are you still doing here?" (YN) asked frantically.

"I remembered a book I had in my backpack that I needed to return to the library. But I knew it! I told you back in January that you'd be dating before I graduated! Now you just need to get married before I graduate, I can't wait for that!" Sadie was practically dancing with excitement.

"Have a good summer Sadie," Gerard said with a wave, encouraging her to leave.

"See you next year!" She called as she skipped off down the hall.

"Please do not give her the satisfaction of asking me to marry you before she graduates," (YN) groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Well there goes my plans for the next year’s first day assembly," Gerard sighed and (YN) rolled her eyes. "I'm kidding, but just tell me when you're ready, sugar."

(YN) grinned and leaned up to kiss Gerard again. "For now, let's just get going to Frank's party cookout. We don't wanna be late."

Gerard smiled and nodded as they walked out of the school hand in hand.

[margarethelstone]

Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears | Chapter 8

Chapter 8 / Read on AO3!

It was the first Thursday of May when Chihaya ran to Taichi’s cram school to deliver her speech.

It was the second Tuesday when the thoughts of her reappeared, making him walk into Hanano and then forget to visit the library.

It was the second Friday of May now.

And things were not going well.

Excuses again, he scolded himself for what must have been a thousandth time in the course of the past week as he entered his classroom after the lunch break. You know what you're supposed to be doing, you're just too lazy to execute it. So snap out of it and stop whining, or all of this work will have been for nothing.

He made his way towards his seat, which this semester happened to be at the very back of the classroom. Never the one to try and escape his teacher’s attention, he was grateful for the arrangement this time, as it at least meant fewer people actively watching the change in his posture and the inattentiveness he succumbed to so easily these days. The fact that Komano was seated on the exact other side was unfortunate of course; but then again, Taichi certainly felt safer without his former club mate observing him in such a close proximity.

Though on the other hand, the additional supervision might have been helpful in getting him to focus again.

Just stay concentrated on the lesson and it will be fine, he told himself, taking out his notebook and pencil. It's science, so it shouldn't be too difficult, since that's actually connected to med school. Plus, nobody in their right mind would try to zone out in Taeko-sensei's class.

Fortunately for Taichi, it was that very moment when his teacher chose to enter the classroom, effectively calling his attention before he succumbed to the musing of a certain fair-haired girl he knew that did dare to space out. A tail of tardy students was following right behind her – their shouts and laughter still loud despite the time and closeness to the presumably severe teacher. He saw Taeko turn around and glare at them, but all it did was cause another chuckle from the students, answered in turn by Taeko's sigh and an impatient wave of her hand.

Just what might have been expected from the members of the tennis club and their long-time advisor and coach.

Taichi couldn't help but smile at the sight.

It really wasn't far off from what her relationship with the karuta club was right now.

The commotion they all made upon coming was neither particularly grand or exceptional, yet just as the new seat arrangement, it certainly brought some peace into Taichi's mind. The more was happening around him, the smaller was the chance of anyone paying attention to him – and seeing how easily he switched from one mood to another these days, having people ignoring him was the best he could hope for.

Just imagine his classmates seeing him – him, Mashima Taichi, the always cool and composed top student in their year! – murmuring to himself angrily, or banging his head against the desk like he'd done at home!

He might have been done pretending, but it certainly didn't mean he felt like making a spectacle of himself.

Still, it looked like he was safe now. Even after the initial commotion had quieted down and the lesson commenced, there was nothing that might bring  unwanted interest to him. He followed his teacher's orders; he listened to his classmates' questions and answers and replied succinctly whenever he himself was asked. He made notes, marked the important parts, wrote down the list of his homework tasks. There was nothing extraordinary about his behaviour or the lesson itself, save perhaps for the few instances of Taeko-sensei glaring and reprimanding which, in all honesty, had pretty much become a tradition by now.

And if Taichi felt that she was watching him more closely than the rest of the class, then well, there was nothing he could do about it.

The rest of the day seemed to go by the same formula. The English class was uneventful; Maths bordered on dull. His classmates were cheerful and noisy, though somehow managing not to go too far, to the point where their teachers only raised their voices when reminding them of how close the exams were and how important it was for them to make studying their priority now, as if they hadn't been hearing that phrase for more than a month now.

Even the PE lesson somehow managed to end without anything worth speaking of happening, despite the third-years being nearly notorious in regards to various accidents happening during that particular class.

Well, he had recently experienced enough drama to last him a lifetime; he certainly wasn't going to complain about having some peace around.

Now, back in his uniform, Taichi was finally free to leave the school grounds, only to remember that he was supposed to stop by the teacher's room to pick up some science-oriented magazines from Taeko-sensei.

"For future reference," she had said when she'd caught him going to the gym, though what exactly she'd meant, Taichi was not sure. He hardly understood why she should wait all that time instead of simply letting him know after their own lesson, either, but chose not to think too much about it. She was clearly trying to help – even if it was her concern for him that sparked it, who was he to reject the offer she'd made?

At this point in time, he was ready to accept all academic aid that was offered to him.

And so he turned around and changed his aim, walking briskly towards the main building, with every intention of taking care of this current business as swiftly and straightforwardly as possible. After all, Fridays were one of his busiest days, especially now that it meant adding practice with Master Suo to his already lengthy cram school hours – not that he was complaining about that particular exercise – and therefore, every quarter seemed to be of significance to him.

He was grateful for the workload; still, there was only so much he could pack into his schedule at this point.

Funny how he'd once believed he'd have more time for himself after leaving the club.

Although, now that he thought of it, he did. In a way, at least. Not only because focusing on his grades and exams rather than tournaments was seen as a wise way of investing in his own, personal future, but because he was finally starting to feel like it was something he himself had chosen to commit to. The bright vision also seemed to appear a little more real every time he turned his thoughts to it – a little more desirable – a little more worthwhile.

For the sake of clarity: he wasn't suddenly overjoyed by the prospect of doing so. He hadn't miraculously found his vocation, nor had he changed his views on it overnight. He was well aware that the choice had never really been his, that the most probable reason why he had come to accept it was the way his parents had planned it over the years. Their never-ending talks, the way they would always brag about his achievements to their friends and family, never failing to mention the bright career that clearly was the only possible one they foresaw for him.

And for the longest time, Taichi had been perfectly fine with that. He knew that it was more than ambition that made his parents wish for that particular path for him, that this was their way of looking out for him, as imperfect as it certainly was. He didn't hate the idea either and with time, he'd even begun to think of it as satisfying.

One could say he'd resigned himself to it.

He was content enough about it.

Not every man's job must be his passion, after all.

And yet, the past weeks, and especially his most recent breakdown had got him thinking. It wasn't even that he was suddenly having second thoughts, or that he was seriously considering giving up on the medical school. He'd met enough doctors in his life (Dr. Harada being a prime, albeit eccentric, example) to know that one could be a good one without necessarily dreaming of it since they learned how to walk. He'd seen devotees, ready to sacrifice their sleep and family life in order to serve their community; he'd come across ones that looked like they were bored by their patients' visits while in truth they were simply awaiting a nice evening spent in the company of their wives.

Of course, he had also met those who clearly hated their job, and only stuck around because the pay-check was high enough – those, however, hadn't yet managed to shake his confidence effectively.

So yes, that part hadn't changed. He was still going to attend the cram school and he definitely wasn't going to take it easy while preparing for his exams. The alteration wasn't in his goal.

Just like his struggle for bravery, however, the goal itself no longer seemed to suffice.

It seemed empty instead.

Was it really surprising that he wished to fill it up?

The main entrance finally came into his view, bringing Taichi's attention to his surroundings once more, as well as the task he was fulfilling. Shaking his head vigorously as if to get rid of the remaining traces of his daydream, he picked up his pace, remembering his earlier resolution not to waste his time unnecessarily.

Focus, Taichi, he commanded himself. Get the materials. Go to the cram school. Meet Master Suo and then go home. Study.

And then you may think of why you're actually doing it.

He had almost reached the door when he was suddenly stopped mid-step, as he heard someone call out to him. Taken aback, he turned around instinctively, only to be surprised even further by the sight of Oe Kanade sprinting towards him. The encounter would have been unexpected enough if she had been walking peacefully; now, with the speed she had approached him with as well as the heavy volumes he noticed in her arms, it was downright astonishing.

Really, what was it with his schoolmates constantly carrying their books in their hands and not inside their bags?

"Ma-shi-ma-SAN!" she cried out as soon as she came near him, her breath ragged and her voice raspy. "I'm so happy you heard me, I thought that you wouldn't!"

A thought of game sense and hearing appeared in his mind, but Taichi chose to disregard it.

"You weren't that far off, I'm sure you'd catch up to me even if I hadn't," he replied instead, a small though sincere smile showing on his face. "I'm still glad that I did. And I'm very glad to see you again, too."

Kanade returned the smile, even though it was clear she had yet to calm down completely. "So am I. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Taichi's response came in the form of a soft hum and a gentle nod of his head. Curious as well as delighted with this sudden encounter, he eyed his friend for a while, half expecting a question or a news to be thrown at him as soon as she regained some control over her respiratory system. She had seemed rather determined to get to him – the only rational conclusion was that there was something specific that she wanted to talk to him about.

No words came however, and (of that Taichi was sure) it was not only due to his companion's condition.

"Do you need help with these?" he asked eventually, his eyes stopping at the thick books she was holding again, determined to maintain the conversation, even if only for a short while. Noticing the school bag Kanade was carrying with her as well, he could only feel glad he had proposed his aid. "They look pretty heavy to me. I'm going inside, I can come with you and deliver them wherever you need me to."

In an instant, Kanade's eyes were on him again.

"No!" she exclaimed, unexpectedly, and one might say, much too zealously.

Taichi couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at her.

"No?"

"No. I mean – I mean, no, thank you. I'll manage to do it on my own," she explained hurriedly, clearly aware of the little blunder she'd made. "I appreciate the offer, of course, but if you could just hold the door for me, it would be more than enough."

"No need to ask for that," Taichi muttered in response. His lips were still curled up in a smile, the amusement caused by her actions still surpassing the concern that appeared in his mind as soon as he fully comprehended her reaction. Yet, he was concerned. Not worried, not distressed.

But he certainly wished to know why she reacted the way she did and whether it had anything to do with him, as he supposed it did.

Maybe he was becoming paranoid but heck, did he wish people had stopped worrying so much about what they were saying in his presence.

It kind of hurts more that way.

He opened the door for her in what he hoped was a nonchalant, casual way. Kana stepped over the threshold eagerly, a grateful expression taking place of the abashment that could have been seen on her countenance earlier. Taichi followed right behind.

"Thank you for that. I'd stay to chat but I really need to get to the library before the practice starts," the girl said apologetically as soon as their eyes met again.

"Everyone seems to be in a rush these days," Taichi replied simply, recalling his last meeting with another karuta club member. "I was actually wondering why you were going this way though, when the clubroom is in the exact opposite direction. This kind of explains it, I suppose. Though then again..."

"Yes?"

"Why run to it now instead of simply coming after the practice is done? It's not like you'll be playing until after the library is closed, is it?"

He expected her to be surprised by the question. He thought she'd look away and fix her eyes on the floor or that she at least would tighten her grip on the books sheepishly, in the same fashion Hanano had done last week. Given her earlier exclamations, Taichi felt like his assumptions were well-grounded – and yet, like so many times before, he turned out to be completely, perfectly wrong.

For Kanade didn't turn away.

"I need to give those to Chihaya-chan," she said simply instead, indicating the volumes she held.

It was such a plain thing to say and yet, Taichi couldn't help but think that she'd needed to harness all of her strength to utter that supposedly banal statement.

His eyes widened when he realised the full implication of her words. The rush she'd been in; the clear, heavy suggestion that became apparent the moment it was combined with what she'd just said. The possibility – the idea – that had entered his mind and would have given explanation to everything if only he had dared to accept it, but at the same time, one that was just too ridiculous to be taken for anything more than just another product of his overly active imagination.

He really needed to pull himself together.

"The way you say it, someone might think she was skipping practice for studying," he replied a bit hastily, forcing a cheerful, almost playful tone once more. "You’ve only just said that there is practice today, haven’t you?”

Kanade nodded.

"Then why run all the way to the library now instead of just waiting for her in the clubroom?"

Now she looked away from him. However, it still wasn't anything like his encounter with Hanano had gone. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't charged with energy. Kana wasn't stumbling over her words the way their younger friend had, simply because she wasn't speaking at all – and the more time had passed, the heavier and more uncomfortable the silence became.

It was unsettling, though why exactly, he couldn't yet know.

After all, it wasn't like his stupid guess from a moment ago could have been anywhere near being true, was it?

"You don't know, do you, Prez?" he heard her ask quietly, the old nickname slipping in regardless of her will. Still, as focused as he was on her words, Taichi hardly paid any attention to it, either. "She didn't tell you?"

Once again, he froze in his place.

Was he right?

"Tell me what?" he answered with a question of his own, intentionally ignoring the absolutely incomprehensible quickening of his pulse. "What is it that I don't know again?"

She didn't say a word. A second passed, then another, and one more. Those few seconds then became one full moment, turning into a long or even lengthy while, and even then, Taichi still had not received a reply to his inquiry, regardless of the intensity with which he was boring into his companion's face. He saw a glint of hesitation flashing in her eye, a barely perceptible quivering of her lip. An almost non-existent twitch of her head, as if she had wanted to turn towards him again, but changed her mind before she could act on it.

Not a word, however. Not a sound.

Just what possibly could she have to say that it might cause such reluctance on her part?

"Chihaya-chan has left the club," she said eventually; Taichi felt the air leave his lungs from the shock, the occurrence probably being the only reason why he didn't interrupt her on the spot. "Two or three weeks ago, she resigned. She said that she needed to focus on her grades more this year and that she couldn't reconcile studying and karuta practice at the same time; not for now, anyway. Nishida-kun and Komano-kun were so shocked, they tried to convince her to stay, but she just wouldn't listen. Even when we offered to help her study, even after Takeo-sensei interfered... Chihaya-chan would not give up."

She made a short pause, as if she was remembering something – or rather as if she was wondering whether or not she should voice the next thought that came to her mind. If Taichi had enough comprehension left in his paralysed brain, he would have seen the indecision in her eyes intensify, and maybe even urged her to speak up with a gaze of his own.

Being as he was now, however, he could do little more than stare.

"She did what?" he managed to stammer eventually. "No, wait, I must've misunderstood. Or did you really just say that Chihaya had left the karuta club?”

The look Kanade gave him was as sad as it was understanding.

[paradise-creator]

Mama crow

A y/n insert Haikyuu fanfic

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The Karasuno team, a family that is held up together by Volleyball. And one particular female knows that well. Y/n was a teacher that the team had their backs on. She was always there when they needed it and she helped them a lot through the course of 2 years. By her 3rd year, she was glad that they finally have a club advisor and not just her. But, she still often visits and trains with them as well.

"Hello there my baby crows!" She would greet them as always. "Hello there mama crow!" The third and second years replied. "Hello Miss Y/n," The first years would reply. Y/n chuckled and looked at her papers. "I see you are all doing well! That's great!" She said but a hint of sadness looms her voice. "Miss. Y/n? Why do you sound sad?" Sugawara asked. This lead to the female sighing and looking at Daichi. "It has come to my attention that I, I am not as healthy as initially thought," She said.

"WAH?!?!?! What do you mean?" Hinata asked with concern written on his face. Worry was the only thing that looms over the children of the volleyball team. Takeda and Ukai watched in the sides as the h/c female talked to the boys. And all that they can do is watch in sadness. "I actually have an illness. I can survive from it! No worries but there is still a chance I might not," She said with a smile.

"You sure? Mama crow, are you sure you can live through this?" Daichi asked. "For you all, I'll fight till the end," She said.

And here we are, Y/n laid in her hospital bed with Takeda and Ukai by her side. "Take them to the nationals for me, okay?" She said as she gazed outside. This shocked the two male adults, they were just having a normal conversation and this popped up. "You sound like you are gonna die. C'mon now don't be like that. The boys need you," Ukai said as he crossed his arms. "As I said, I'll fight till the bittersweet end for these boys. I've seen them grow and mature, they are my children," She said.

A few days went by, Karasuno lost against Seijoh and they all were devastated. They decided to visited their mama crow in the hospital. "And so what if you lost? That was only one of many beginnings. Remember that you still have the prelims to practice for! And then you have the nationals. Strive to be the best and you shall fly higher than ever before!" Y/n said as she looked at the crows. "Fight till the bittersweet end. And I'll be fighting along side you all. I love you guys so much," She said as she smiled towards them.

It was finally time, the Karasuno and Shiritorizawa match would happen in a few days. Y/n knew they were gonna make it. But she doesn't know if she will live long enough to see it. "First years," She started. It was unusual that she would only have the first years visiting her, but currently they are. All the first years turned to her sitting figure. "Take our team to the nationals, okay?" She said. Then silence loomed over them all. "Of course we will! We will win the nationals for you as well," Hinata said as he smiled. "Yes," Kageyama said. And so the first years started arguing yet again. Y/n chuckled and sighed. She truly loved this boys.

The Shiritorizawa match was on going. Karasuno was fighting hard and striving to win for their school and for their mama crow. Meanwhile, Y/n was also fighting to live. She was finally admitted to surgery to fight the illness. Both sides fought hard and strive to win. And in the end, neither lost. After the win, the Karasuno team immediately went to see their mama crow. And they were able to. "MAMA CROW!" They all yelled as they entered her room.

She wasn't there. "Where is she?" Hinata asked, scared that she might not have made it. "What if-" "No Asahi! She said she'll fight and she will win!" Noya aid as he knocked some sense into Asashi. "Oh! I apologize boys. Miss, Y/n was transferred in the recovery room. Follow me," A nurse said and they did. Once they reached their destination, they saw that Y/n was standing up. "You guys did me proud," She said as she turned around. "You all fought so hard and strive to fly higher than ever before." She said. "And I did as well," She added as she let the boys hug the living soul out of her.

[jlalafics]

“I loved you first”-an Everlark fic

This prompt was requested by @b-boop5. Thanks love!

5. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Summary: There are divorced couples. Then, there are Katniss and Peeta Mellark.

I loved you first

Johanna Mason looked around the high school field, lined with rows of plastic chairs. In front of her stood two middle-aged women, dressed in their ceremony best, looking over the crowd gathering for the graduation.

“I didn’t have a chance to look over my program, but who is the Valedictorian?” one woman asked.

“It’s the Mellark girl—Adeline,” the other woman responded. “She’s heading to Stanford this Fall, you know.”

“I’m not really familiar with her…I don’t think that she and Katie really hang out.”

“Oh—everyone knows about the Mellarks.” Johanna moved in closer, grimacing at the woman’s overwhelming floral perfume. “Adeline’s parents were practically teenagers when they had her. They stay together long enough to have Adeline’s younger brother before getting divorced.”

“So, they’re what? In their thirties?”

“About that. Katniss, her mother, barely looks like she’s hitting her thirties. She owns that cute little boutique downtown.”

“And, the Dad?”

“Oh God—Peeta Mellark. A delicious specimen of a man. He’s the CEO of Mellark Bakery; his family started it from a small, mom-and-pop bakery and he turned it into a franchise. Now, they’re all over the country.”

Johanna was suddenly blinded as two hands covered her eyes. She smelled the faint scent of sugar and watercolor paints.

“You’re messing up my makeup, Luke,” she warned.

Whirling around, Johanna beamed at a gangly blond, grinning at her.

“Aunt Johanna!” Luke wrapped his arms around her. “You came!”

“Of course.” She embraced her nephew tightly. “Where’s your mother?”

“Her and Dad are heading down,” Luke informed her. “They’re deciding which restaurant to go to for Grandma’s birthday next weekend.”

“There they are,” the gossiping woman suddenly said. “Peeta and Katniss Mellark. The perfect exes.”

“Are you sure? They looked like they’re still into each other.”

Luke and Johanna locked eyes; the young boy rolling his at the two women being not-so-discreet.

“They’ve been that way for years. Every PTA meeting or school event, they’re together and usually talking amongst themselves, his arm around her shoulders and her leaning against him, just like now—here they come!”

“Johanna!” Katniss pulled away from her ex to rush into the woman’s arms. “I’m so glad you came!”

“I wouldn’t miss AJ’s graduation for anything,” Johanna replied. “And, how is my favorite ex-cousin doing?” She looked to the man talking to her nephew. “Hey, asshole.”

Peeta grinned at her. “Hello to you too, Johanna.”

“How are you enjoying Panem so far?” Katniss asked her.

Johanna looked to the shocked women, both red with embarrassment. She gave them a wink.

“It’s been illuminating.”

++++++

“Apparently, you and Peeta, are the ‘It’ couple when it comes to divorces,” Johanna informed the two as they found their seats.

“Are we?” Katniss looked to her ex-husband with a smile. “Did you hear that, Peeta? We’re the cool divorcees.”

Peeta snorted. “Don’t these people have anything else to talk about?” He sat next to Katniss, giving Luke the aisle seat so he could take pictures of his sister walking down towards the stage. His arm snaked over to the back of Katniss’ chair. “Sometimes I forget how small it is here.”

“Well, you two are freakishly close,” Johanna pointed out. “Probably more than most married couples.”

“It’s kinda true, parents,” Luke added as he played with the lens of his camera. “My friends are always surprised when I tell them you’re divorced.”

“Why are your friends so nosy, teenager?” Peeta asked.

“Because their parents ask.” Luke turned to them. “It’s not like I mind. I don’t really remember when you were together, but if it was the opposite of this, then I’m glad you’re divorced.”

“That’s very mature of you, sweetheart,” Katniss told their son.

Peeta smiled fondly at his ex-wife. “We made some smart children.”

She returned the gesture, her eyes on the handsome man. “All from me.”

He leaned towards her ear. “I don’t doubt that.”

Katniss trembled; even after all these years, Peeta always knew how to make her come undone. They had known one another since they were children, had fallen deeply in love when they were juniors in high school, and Katniss was pregnant by graduation.

They had tried to make it work.

The birth of Adeline had brought them even closer and they loved their daughter with all their hearts. However, the extra responsibility had been a lot on the young parents who both juggled work and college part-time.

Katniss and Peeta’s parents had rallied to help the two. Their families helped take care of the adorable cherub that Adeline was while they went to school. On the weekends, Peeta was at the Mellark Bakery, learning how to manage his parents’ business. Katniss would be at their apartment, textbooks on the kitchen table and their daughter in her arms.

They both graduated with business degrees.

Katniss was pregnant with Luke during their college ceremony.

By Luke’s first birthday, Peeta and Katniss could see the cracks in their relationship. Peeta had been spending less time at home, trying to bring Mellark Bakery up the corporate chain. Katniss was unsure what she wanted to do and had little time to think about it as she raised their two children.

Also, they both had tempers.

As the children slept, they argued, going to bed angry. Sometimes, one or both would be in tears.

By the time Luke was two and Adeline six, they had agreed to a divorce.

Katniss and Peeta sat their families down and told them that they would be separating but amicably. Katniss would have the home that they had bought together, and it would be where the children would live. Peeta would move into an apartment nearby and would have them on the weekends.

Their main priorities were Adeline and Luke. They wanted their children to grow up in a loving, supportive environment.

It was hard in the beginning; they still loved one another…but something changed. Maybe they had become too different or they had just grown apart.

Whatever caused their breakup hurt like hell.

They continued to push forward; Katniss eventually decided to open her boutique, Primrose—named after her younger sister. Peeta became a silent partner, helping her purchase the space, but mostly staying out of the way as a gesture of goodwill towards his ex-wife.

Now, Katniss could say with confidence that Peeta was one of her best friends and vice-versa.

They had dinners together with the kids—sometimes without them. She would go to the Mellark Home for Thanksgiving and Peeta would attend the annual Christmas party at her parents’ house.

They went to every recital, sports event, and even spelling bee together. The kids never felt neglected—at least she hoped they didn’t—and both parents had great relationships with Adeline and Luke.

“It’s starting!” Luke called out. He put the viewer of his camera to his eye as the strains of ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ began.

The navy-clad graduates were led by Haymitch Abernathy—Senior Class advisor and teacher—who held the school banner as he walked down the aisle to cheers and camera flashes.

He was followed by the Senior Student Council, each with white stoles denoting their roles.

Then, wearing gold stoles, were the Valedictorian and Salutatorian.

Adeline beamed excitedly, her long dark waves moving with her, as she walked down the aisle. Next to her, Evan Odair smiled, his cheeks red and his eyes caught on Katniss and Peeta’s beautiful daughter.

Adeline spotted her parents, waving excitedly, and flashing a peace sign as Luke took her picture.

Katniss took a deep breath, trying to keep her tears at bay. Sometimes, she still saw the little girl who would beg her to play tea party with her every afternoon.

Now, that little girl was getting ready to take on the world—and she wouldn’t need her mother anymore.

Peeta put an arm around her, pulling her side against his.

“She’s always going to need us, Katniss,” he assured her.

Katniss turned to him. “How did you know what I was thinking?”

Peeta reached, wiping the stray tear off her cheek, and giving her a sad smile.

“Because I know us,” he told her. “We all grew up together—you, me, Luke, and Addie. And, we’re never going to stop needing each other.”

Katniss nodded and he pressed a kissed to her temple.

Next to the exes, Johanna rolled her eyes.

Brainless, the both of them.

++++++

“Now, I would like to call up our Valedictorian—” Voluminous applause rang through the crowd along with some shouts from the rowdier seniors. “—an ambitious young woman who, besides maintaining a 4.0 GPA and taking all available AP classes, is the president of our youth volunteer club, one of our most popular tutors and a peer mediator. From personal experience, it has been an honor to have someone to debate with in class—” The crowd laugh at his words. “Ladies and gentlemen, Adeline Jane Mellark.”

The crowd was riotous as Adeline stepped onto the stage. She was always popular, though she never had a particular crowd that she hung out with. She went to prom with Evan—as friends—though Katniss believed that the boy next door had always wanted more.

However, Adeline had always been a free spirit.

She admitted to Katniss that she didn’t want to be tied down to anyone since she would be leaving for school—despite the cuteness of Evan’s smile.

Adeline stepped up to the podium, beaming at the crowd.

“Good afternoon, faculty members, families, and senior class,” she began. “My name is Adeline Jane Mellark. Most of you know me as AJ or, if you’re my Dad, Addie. I am supposed to be up here trying to inspire and give you advice for what comes next. However, I don’t think I could give you any advice as I’m in the same boat as the rest of you. I don’t know what’s coming next.”

Katniss leaned forward; her eyes trained on her daughter. Peeta sat in rapt attention, his own stare on their daughter.

“I can tell you that, whenever I’m not sure what to do, I think of my parents. You see, my mom and dad had me right after they graduated high school. They had to navigate going to college along with raising a child and by the time they graduated college, my brother came along. When I think about it, we grew up together.” Adeline smiled to herself. “We learned together.”

She met Katniss’ eyes.

“My mom taught me to always focus on what I want, to never back down, to fight for what I believe in.”

Peeta reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

“My Dad—” She heard Peeta’s breath hitch. “—taught me that there is good in everyone; that sometimes to get back on track all you need to do is look at a sunset, and to always have hope.”

She grinned.

“Mom, Dad…I just wanted to say that I’m proud to be your daughter. That, because of you, I am not afraid of what comes next. You both taught me lessons that I’m going to carry with me my whole life—that no matter what happens, I’ll always have a place to just be me.”

Adeline looked at her classmates.

“We’re always going to have each other. So, when you’re feeling lost or scared, think back to this moment—this is our place to be us. This great moment of excitement…fear…of endings…and beginnings—life is full of them. Enjoy them. It has been an honor to be part of this graduating class and I wish you all the best of luck in whatever comes next. Thank you and congratulations!”

The crowd was up on their feet and, over the sea of people, Adeline met her parents’ identical teary gazes to blow them both a kiss.

++++++

“You must be so proud, Peeta,” the woman…Karen—he wasn’t sure what her name was—said. “Adeline is so accomplished.”

In return, Peeta gave the woman a conciliatory smile. “Katniss and I are very proud of her.”

Beside him, Finnick and Annie Odair stifled their laughter at her obvious flirting in the middle of his own daughter’s graduation reception. The couple had been friends with the Mellarks since they moved into the neighborhood.

“It’s going to be awfully lonely for you now that Adeline’s going to be moving away,” she simpered.

“Not really. Our son is just entering high school. Katniss and I are sure we’ll have our hands full.”

“Luke is definitely a spitfire,” Finnick said. “But a hell of an artist.”

“He’s going to the fine arts high school, correct?” The woman frowned. “Do you think that’s the right path? The artist route isn’t very lucrative.”

“Well, it’s a damn good thing that Peeta and I care more about our children’s happiness than the amount of money they’ll make.” Katniss joined his side and gave the woman a cool smile. “Clarissa, we’re so glad you could join us.”

“Thank you for having us.” The woman looked around the house. “You have a beautiful home.” Her eyes suddenly darted behind them. “If you’ll excuse me.”

She was gone in a second.

“Clarissa! That was her name!” Peeta snapped his fingers, turning to his ex-wife. “This whole time I thought it was Karen.”

Katniss chuckled. “Please don’t tell me you called her Karen.”

“Peeta couldn’t get a word in,” Annie explained. “The woman had her sights on becoming the new Mrs. Mellark.”

“Many have tried, all have failed,” Peeta said. “Anyway, I’m not looking.”

“Why not?” Katniss questioned. “I was just too perfect, wasn’t I?”

He flashed her a smile. “We all didn’t find a Gale Hawthorne, did we?”

Peeta tried not to cringe saying the man’s name. Katniss had been dating him casually for six months, but he could tell that the man was set on making things official.

“Where is Prince Charming, anyway?” Finnick asked, his disdain obvious. Their friend had always believed that he and Katniss would eventually reunite. According to him, they had too much fire to be just friendly exes.

“Probably somewhere polishing his crown,” Peeta replied with a short laugh.

The look on Katniss’ face quickly cut him off. She looked disappointed.

“Peeta, you’re better than that,” she admonished softly. “Excuse me.”

Katniss walked away, heading upstairs, and his heart sank seeing the slump in her shoulders.

“What the fuck was that?” Annie asked, looking between the men.

“Truthfully, I think Gale is a douche,” her husband admitted. “I don’t know what the hell Peeta was on about—” Finnick looked to the downhearted man. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Peeta glared. “Why would I be jealous?”

Finnick guffawed. “Because the man is probably pounding into your ex-wife who you’re still pining over.”

“Focus, you two!” Annie pushed Peeta forward. “You should probably talk to her.”

“I’m already on it.”

++++++

Katniss looked at herself in the bathroom mirror.

Why was she even upset about Peeta’s remark? It wasn’t like it was mean.

Truthfully, Gale was a little high on himself sometimes. He was successful, having his own real estate firm, and had taken her to some nice places.

While he didn’t make an effort to get to know Adeline or Luke, she hadn’t gone out of her way to encourage his involvement with her children either. They didn’t need another father figure.

Truthfully, Katniss kept him because he saw her as a woman—and not just a wife or mother.

There had been a point in her marriage to Peeta where they stopped seeing each other as people and started seeing one another as parents who just slept next to one another. It was hard to keep the romance alive when she always had a baby to her chest.

Their fights had been epic and an argument over which preschool Adeline would go to ended with a bout of angry sex against the doorway of their bedroom.

Then, she ended up pregnant with Luke.

One day, they looked wearily to one another and both realized it was over.

They had no fight in them left.

“Katniss?” Peeta stood at the bathroom doorway, guilt on his face. “You okay?”

Katniss turned to him, crossing her arms as she faced him. “I guess.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he told her.

“I just don’t want us to get to that point where we’re snipping at one another,” Katniss told him. She moved past him to walk into her bedroom and sat on her bed. “I hated that.”

Peeta joined her. “Me, too.” He sighed, giving her a doleful look. “I’m just not used to not being the number one man in your life.”

She knocked into his shoulder, a smile rising on her lips.

“Peeta…you know that Luke is number one.”

“I will concede to our son,” Peeta told her. “Addie is going out with her friends tonight and Luke is sleeping over at Christian’s house. They have a video game to conquer, apparently. Did you want to have dinner? Like a parents of the Valedictorian celebration? We can go to that Chinese place that we love—with the mu shu you like.”

Katniss gave him an apologetic smile.

“After the cleaning crew leaves, I’m having dinner with Gale tonight.”

Peeta nodded. “How about I stay while the crew cleans up and you two can go on your date earlier?”

She raised a brow. “You sure?”

He stood, holding out his hand. “Truce?”

Katniss took it, standing and giving him a hug, her nose pressing his shoulder. She always enjoyed his smell, that warm spiciness of his cologne. It was comforting yet it still made her heart skip a beat whenever it hit her nostrils.

“We better get downstairs,” she said into his shirt. “We have a speech to make.”

Peeta nodded, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes. “We did it, Katniss.”

“What do you mean?”

They walked out of her bedroom and Katniss looped her arm through his as they headed down the hallway towards the stairs.

“Remember when she was first born? We were both so scared of screwing her up…but we didn’t,” he told her.

They descended the stairs, staring at one another.

“I remember. I was constantly snippy and wanting to call the doctor at every weird noise she made,” she replied. “And, you were always worried about dropping her or cursing in front of her!”

“I may have cursed once or twice. Much more around Luke—” Katniss snorted and he laughed. “Things get a little more relaxed with the second one!”

Katniss sighed. “True.” They stopped halfway down, and she turned to him. “I’m sorry if I ever took my parenting fears out on you. It probably contributed to a lot of our fights.”

Peeta shrugged. “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. All those late nights at the office…”

“It’s all in the past now,” she interjected.

At the foot of the stairs, Adeline and Luke were talking to Evan and his parents. When she turned to look at them, their daughter hurried up the stairs with a bright smile on her face before wrapping her arms around her parents.

“Thanks, you two.” Adeline pulled away; her blue eyes glowing. “This is a great party and you did so much—”

“You deserve it,” Peeta told her tenderly.

“You’re our little girl,” Katniss said. “We always kind of knew we would be spoiling you!” Adeline giggled. “And, we are enormously proud. A bit braggy, too…”

“Aunt Johanna told me about those two women gossiping about you guys,” their daughter informed them quietly. “It makes sense, though. Their daughters are bitches.”

Peeta guffawed and Katniss raised a brow at their daughter’s words. That was thing about Adeline; she never pussyfooted. Like Katniss, she could be blunt when need be. However, she was naturally empathetic like Peeta.

“While I’d usually prefer that you didn’t curse, you’re eighteen so I can’t really stop you,” Katniss said.

“Thanks, Mom!” They made their way to the last three steps and Adeline went to a nearby server, who handed her two glasses of champagne. She walked over to them, handing them both a glass. “Good luck, you two.”

Stepping back, Adeline joined her brother and friend.

Katniss turned to Peeta, a nervous grin gracing her face. “Go on. You’re better with this than I am.”

He chuckled, leaning to kiss her cheek.

“You’re probably right.” She elbowed him, ignoring the heat rising on her face. “You’re really too easy to fluster.”

Peeta cleared his throat and Luke tapped the glass he was holding with a spoon to catch everyone’s attention.

“Thank you, Luke,” he told their son, who grinned back with a smile so much like his own. “Thank you all for attending this reception. Katniss and I would just like to say a few words about our daughter…”

++++++

“How did the graduation go?” Gale asked as he cut into his steak, his eyes focused on the slab of meat.

“It was wonderful,” Katniss replied. She reached for her fork to cut into her salmon. “I wish you could’ve come to the reception. You would’ve enjoyed it.”

“It’s not really my thing,” the man replied easily. “No one wants the boyfriend at the family party. Anyway, I already gave Adeline her graduation gift.”

Her daughter had smiled blankly as Gale handed her the two gift cards; one for Target for school supplies and the other one to get a full tank of gas for her Prius.

It wasn’t that her daughter was ungrateful; she admitted to Katniss that Gale seemed a little…cold towards her and Luke—as if he didn’t like them.

However, who wouldn’t adore Katniss’ children?

They were sweet and kind…

The man in front of her, however, looked a little overwhelmed whenever he was in their presence.

“Don’t you like your food?”

Katniss realized that she had yet to take a bite. She gave him a smile before putting a piece in her mouth.

“Delicious.” She swallowed before reaching for her wine glass. She definitely needed to discuss this issue about the children. “Listen—”

“I know what you’re going to say.” Gale placed his utensils down. “Now that Adeline is leaving for school, you’re looking into more time for us.” He gave her a tight smile. “It’s just that we’re getting into the summer and it’s our busiest time with parents trying to buy or rent places for their kids—”

“That wasn’t what I was going to talk to you about that,” she interrupted. “It’s that whenever you’re around my kids, you seem to be a little…aloof.”

Gale looked non-plussed. “I mean, they aren’t my kids. I don’t necessarily need to be obliged to care for them like I’m their father. They have one.”

“I know that and Peeta is a great one,” she explained. “But I thought we were serious in a sense where you’d want to get to know them.”

“Hmmm…maybe if we had our own child, I might have to open up to them.”

Katniss blanched—was she really dating this guy? This man who didn’t want to let her children into his life unless he saddled her with his own?

In that moment, Katniss saw a future where she would once again be changing diapers, waiting for a man who was never home.

Suddenly, she was standing up.

“You know what? I’m going to save you the trouble of having to open up to my children. Goodbye, Gale.”

She made her way toward the exit, but not before grabbing the bottle of wine she paid for from the ice bucket.

++++++

Stepping out of the taxi, Katniss looked up her home, comfort washing over her immediately.

This home was where she watched her children take their first steps…where she’d wait at the front door as they stepped off the school bus and into her arms…where Peeta had carried her over its threshold…

They had purchased the two-story colonial-style house after Luke was born with the help of their parents. Since then, they had repaid the loan tenfold and found comfort that their children had a place to go whenever they needed it.

Heading up the brick walkway, Katniss reached into her purse pulling out her key to unlock the door before stepping into the house.

Closing the door, she was surprised to smell the scent of…cookies.

Toeing off her shoes, Katniss headed towards the kitchen and was surprised to find Peeta pulling out a tray full of chocolate chip cookies—her favorite.

“What are you doing?” she asked from the open doorway.

“Thought that you and the kids would like a fresh batch whenever you got home,” her ex replied as he placed the tray on the counter. Peeta pulled the oven mitts off, tossing them beside the cookies. “You’re home early.”

“Dinner didn’t go so well,” she told him glumly. Katniss presented him with the wine bottle in her grasp. “At least I have a consolation gift—that I paid for.”

“Ouch,” Peeta replied. “Well…cookies are the perfect complement to wine.”

She nodded. “Do you remember where the bottle opener is?”

He went to the second drawer to the left of the counter, pulling out the well-loved gadget. “Always.”

++++++

“Do you remember how we used to stay up late to watch R-rated movies after the kids were asleep?” Peeta asked. “I swear there was one point where I wanted to murder The Wiggles.”

“You didn’t know?” Katniss reached to grab another cookie from the coffee table. “I put a hit on them. That’s why you never hear about them anymore.”

The soft glare of the television was the only light in the room. They had discovered an old romcom that was popular when they were teenagers and decided that it would go well with their late-night snack.

Peeta chuckled, sitting back on the couch. He had changed from his ceremony attire to a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that Katniss had found in her closet. She had also changed into a pair of pajamas while Peeta had set up cookies and wine in the living room.

“If anyone could murder them, it would be you,” Peeta replied. “What time is Addie getting home?”

“I told her midnight was her curfew while she lives here,” Katniss informed him. “Once she’s in college, we will have no say on when she gets home.”

“I’m dreading not knowing what she’s doing.” He turned to her. “Do you think she’s going to come home during the holidays?”

“If she doesn’t want me to go all the way to Stanford to drag her ass here, she will.” Peeta snorted at her words. “She’ll come home. It’s going to be lonely here without her though. Nobody to have mani-pedis with or talk about those stupid reality shows …”

Katniss found herself sniffing back tears. She swiped them away with the back of her hand.

“Ignore me. It’s the wine and ending the most useless relationship in history.”

Peeta waved her over to his side and she scooted in towards him, her head going to his shoulder. She tucked her feet underneath her bottom as he put an arm around her.

“Did you love him?” Peeta asked gently.

“No.” She closed her eyes, taking comfort in the warmth of him. “I’ve had my great love. I don’t need another…I just liked the feeling of someone making an effort to just be with me.”

“And, I wasn’t that way?” he replied tightly.

“Neither of us were making much effort towards the end.” Katniss looked up, seeing his eyes full of hurt. “It was no one’s fault. It just happened. I mean, we didn’t kiss each other anymore.”

“I should’ve kissed you more.” His hand reached to brush her chin and her body tingled, her lower half twisting in that familiar heat. “It was one of my favorite things to do.”

“Until it wasn’t.” Katniss swallowed harshly as she unfolded her legs. They were getting into dangerous territory. Reluctantly, she stood up. “I should clean up—”

Peeta suddenly grabbed her wrist and she stilled at the motion.

Standing, Peeta reached his arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

His other hand went to her cheek. “You’re always going to be my great love. You know that, right?”

Then, his lips were on hers.

Katniss fell easily into his kiss. She always did. Her arms circled his neck as she pressed against him, feeling her nipples tighten against the hard planes of his chest. Peeta’s hands moved down, palming at her ass and she groaned into his mouth, her tongue sweeping into his.

Peeta’s lips moved to her neck. “I forgot how good you tasted.” He sucked against the juncture and she mewled, the heat between her legs growing and her core throbbing. “Do you still taste this good everywhere else?”

“You can find out…later.”

Katniss guided him to sit on the couch as she pulled her unbuttoned her pajama top, shaking it off her quickly. Her breasts were in bare sight, nipples pebbled despite the heat in the room. Her pants were next, and she undid the drawstring before bending down to pull her bottoms down to the carpet.

Peeta stared up at her in awe. “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Katniss smiled softly as she placed her knees on both sides of his lap before straddling him. Her lips went to his in a gentle kiss.

“Have you been with anyone else recently?” she asked against his mouth.

Peeta shook his head. “It’s been a year…and it was only once.” He looked to her. “And Gale?

“Never. He hardly came over and I have never been to his apartment,” Katniss explained. “We mostly had dinner or went to shows that his company was sponsoring.”

Peeta tutted. “Shame.” His hands went to her waist. “Who wouldn’t love to be deep inside you?”

Her hand reached under the waistband of his bottoms, finding him hard. Her hand wrapped around him, stroking smoothly to get him ready. He hissed, his eyes closing and his hips following her motions.

“Please don’t make me come all over myself,” he begged. “I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I did.”

“We wouldn’t want that—” Katniss eagerly helped him pull his pants off, her eyes going immediately to his length, standing erect and the tip of it glistening. She missed his cock—or at least her pussy did, as it immediately pulsed at the sight of him. “—I don’t think either of us is going to last.”

His hand went between her thighs, pushing the cloth between aside to plunge two fingers into her sodden core.

“Damn, you’re wet.” His eyes traveled to meet hers as he slid the digits in and out of her before putting them into his mouth. “You taste even better than I remember.”

“I forgot how I loved the way you looked at me whenever we were together,” she told him, her hands hurriedly moving the last piece of cloth. “Like I was the only woman in the world.”

“To me, you are.”

Her eyes filled and she leaned down to give him another kiss before helping him remove his shirt.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” she admonished quietly.

Katniss looked over her ex-husband, familiarizing herself with his body once more. His chest and shoulders were broader and his abdomen firmer. However, there were other things that were the same; the scar on his shoulder from falling at the school playground and the feel of his strong thighs under her.

“Why not?” he asked her, his hand going to the nape of her neck.

He gently drew her down until their foreheads met and she looked into those blue eyes, dark with hunger. Her heart skipped at the intensity of his gaze and she remembered all over again how easy it was to fall in love with Peeta.

“Because this will be harder to forget,” she told him.

Peeta’s hand went to her hip, guiding her over him.

“I don’t want to forget.”

Then, in one motion, he was inside her.

++++++

“Katniss.”

She looked up from behind the register to find Gale standing before her.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” she asked, rounding the counter. “I haven’t heard from you in…”

“Two months,” he replied sheepishly. “Trust me, you don’t forget when a woman walks out on you at a restaurant.”

Katniss crossed her arms. “You kind of deserved it.”

“May I take you out to dinner to apologize?” Gale looked genuinely sorry for his behavior. “I miss you.”

“You don’t even know me,” she countered.

“Give me a chance—unless you’re seeing someone else.”

Her mind wandered to that night…that perfect night with Peeta.

She had forgotten how perfectly he fit inside her. Peeta had been her first and she was his. When they were younger, he had jokingly told her that her insides were perfectly molded to his cock—any other man’s would never fit exactly right.

And, it was true.

He continued to prove his theory a few more times before she insisted that he leave. It wouldn’t do any good for Adeline to see her father and mother reuniting carnally all over the living room couch.

They were still close, but they understood that it had been once and once only.

Even though the sight of him left her soaked.

Or that, occasionally, if Peeta was close enough to her, he would brush his hand against Katniss’ sending her hormones into overdrive.

She shook herself from her thoughts and looked to the man in front of her.

“There’s no one else,” she told him.

“Tonight? I’ll pick you up after closing.” Katniss nodded and Gale leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“See you then.”

Gale walked out of the store, heading towards the Mercedes parked in the front.

Katniss stretched, feeling an ache in her body. Lately, she had felt off. The stress of Adeline getting ready to leave and unexpected sex with her ex had left her feeling out of sorts.

Yesterday, she nearly tore Luke’s head off for leaving his muddy sneakers by the front door after soccer practice.

There was a beep on her phone, and she looked to find a text from Adeline: ‘Mom, you heading to a Target or a drug store after work?’

She typed back, ‘Wasn’t planning to. Do you need anything?’

‘Some Tylenol and tampons.’

‘Sure babe. I’ll see you later.’

Adeline’s cycle was very similar to her own; it came strong, leaving her sometimes unable to even move.

Katniss added soup to her list of things to grab after closing the store.

It always made them feel better during their periods—

Which she did not have, even though she and Adeline were usually in sync.

Katniss turned from the counter where a calendar featuring men with puppies was—no red circle marking the arrival of her period. She took the calendar off its hook before looking at the previous month.

No red circle either.

Fuck.

Without fail, every graduation ended with her being pregnant with Peeta’s child.

FIN(?)

Really enjoyed writing this one, it would make a great four-parter. Thoughts?

[essie-essex]

anybody here remember night blogging??

You know thinking back on how I would do things differently, I would probably have gone to another school for college. I had assumed that you were required to write a thesis at every school to graduate, and at my school we had I.S. (Independent Study), which was kind of a final 100 page paper + project that we had to do our senior year, in addition to taking classes. But my school offered me the most money, and everyone I talked to said that it was a good school. I remember my English teacher being surprised that I got in. I wasn’t the best student, but during my senior year I started to be more engaged and pay attention in class. I think part of it was that my family (me and my mom lol) hosted a Japanese exchange student that year. She stayed for 10 months and I loved having someone at the house to do things with, and I think having her around really helped me out a lot with feeling less lonely. So, my grades improved (with the exception of math, I actually did a lot worse in math than usual despite studying every night for hours because my teacher was horrible, but that’s another story...) and for the most part I did a lot better academically. Also, I started running, lost weight, and felt generally better about myself (I thought that finally after all those years of depression, things were finally getting better, and I was stronger, and blah blah blah).

When I was accepted by a university, I was so excited, especially since my advisor told me I wouldn’t get into college (because of that awful math class--like honestly that year would have been so much better if I had had any of the other math teachers who could actually teach, and I came to my advisor meeting thinking that I was doing so much better with my grades than usual, like I literally had A’s in everything except for math, in which I had an F, and I thought she would ask me about what was happening in math and offer help, like seriously who sees a bunch of A’s and one F and thinks “this student clearly isn’t applying herself” and not “clearly this student needs some help with this one subject,” but no she said “I just don’t know what to do with you. At this rate, you’re not going to get into college.” And I just remember being so upset especially since I went in there without any emotional armor like I would have put up if I actually had really bad grades and was expecting to hear about it, but right that’s another story, so anyway... )

My problems started after I got back from Japan. Before that, while I did still have my moments of depression, especially when dealing with my boyfriend who had his own share of mood problems which tended to be a bit more high key than mine, it was a lot better than it was in high school. I loved my major, I had friends who actually appreciated my presence, and, for the first time in my life, I felt hopeful about the future. I remember when I was taking the bus back to my city after visiting my boyfriend and one of my friends, and I realized that for the first time I just felt like a normal person. I didn’t feel like some weird defective mistake that clearly didn’t belong in this world.

Then I went to Japan. And I fucking loved it, which is why I was so sad to leave. I’m usually a really quiet person, and in order to be outgoing I have to completely turn off my filter, which, I realize, can make me sort of obnoxious. It worked for me at first. I made several friends in different groups so I could have different options and be able to go out with friends more often.

My school only allowed us to study abroad for one semester. So, I had 4 months to do everything I wanted to do there. Like I’m not an energetic person at all, but basically I told myself “I’ll sleep when I’m back in the US, but right now I’m in fucking Japan and I need to do everything.” But basically everyone else was staying for the entire school year, so they weren’t in a rush to do and see things like I was. My no filter self helped me make friends, so I would have different groups to go out and do things with (like I changed my personality so much that when I told one of my dorm mates that I liked to play videogames, she said that I didn’t “seem like the type” who would do that. Like she was genuinely surprised.) Public transportation and the safety of Japan made it easier for me to be more independent than I was in the US. My college was in a small town, so while I was more independent there than at home (where if I so much as opened the front door, my mom would come rushing downstairs wondering where I was going/what I was doing/why was I going outside) I was still basically confined to one or two streets in the area. In Japan, I could just get on the train and go. Plus when you’re a foreigner you sometimes get random people talking to you on the streets and can even meet new people since you stand out. I went out to clubs at least once every weekend, and sometimes even twice (the advantage of having more than one group of friends). I didn’t sleep too much and always wanted to be out doing things since I just didn’t have a lot of time. I met guys, went out on dates and everything, had cultural experiences, and I mostly just didn’t care about any danger because I was in Japan and I basically had no plan after that and had done the one thing I really wanted to do (which was travel to Japan). The attitude was also brought on by me not giving much of shit about my studies because I was so angry and disappointed for not getting a placement in a program in which basically everyone who applied would get accepted. It was especially annoying because it allowed me to get experience in participant-observation while volunteering at a place that interested me, but most people who did the program were just doing it for fun, like there were a lot of various sciencey majors plus at least one math major, and I was just really disappointed. Luckily this attitude I adopted didn’t affect my grades too much, since most of the classes were pretty easy.

So, getting back to the point of all of this, I realize that the real problem was my shitty attitude, and I should have made the most out of my four months and then come back to “the real world,” as my mother put it, and be the same person I was before. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. I have never been popular before, and having so many people not see my weird defective self was so exhilarating to me. For once I wasn’t the weird quiet girl. For once I could be independent. But then I was back to the small college town, and I wanted to go out and do things, I wanted to go to parties on the weekends. But my friends would mostly stay in and watch movies on the weekends. Like we went to the occasional party or did the usual hang out together and drink thing, but it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t be the same person I had been for the previous four months, and I didn’t take it well.

I had never had the kind of depression where I had brain fog. While I was still depressed in middle and high school, I could still do things like read books or write song lyrics. But brain fog made it impossible for me to get anything done. Like I could read a page and not know anything about what I read. I’d be stuck reading the same sentences over and over. When I hung out with my friends, I could muster up some energy, since I would cling to anything that brought me even a bit of joy, but mostly I just did nothing. I had this tiny room at the back of the house (we were a volunteer house and went to the local animal shelter every week) and I never even unpacked my clothes. Everything was in bags or boxes or in a clothing pile somewhere. I would have dreams of being back in Japan and wake up so disappointed. It was especially upsetting to think about all the people I knew in Japan, since they still were there. I tried checking in on people to see how they were doing, but--as is usual--they didn’t miss me nearly as much as I missed them. And I felt the same way about my friends at college too. I was back to just being tolerated instead of wanted. I always let them have their way and yielded to their decisions and just tried to keep my group of friends but I think a good number of them stopped liking me.

ANYWAY, getting to the point. I got on meds over the summer and felt kind of better. I didn’t having nearly as much brain fog. I was ready to do my IS and graduate, and then things went downhill again. My friends used to automatically include me in things, but now I always had to check in with them to see if they were doing anything. I started my IS, joined a local Pagan group to do my research, and started reading books to use as sources. My IS advisor was my favorite professor, but when I told her that I was having trouble doing everything because of my depression, she said “but you took care of that, right?” Like the meds I was on were supposed to fix everything. I just straight up never went back to her office. I stopped going to classes. I purposely avoided meal times and went to get food at times when most people were in classes. I stopped everything.

I feel like if I had gone to a different school, I might have been able to power through the year and finish my classes. Maybe. Or maybe not. I don’t know. This school truly felt like it was the best option though. They offered me the most money, and I was able to visit and write an essay while I was there to get an even better scholarship. I remember when I was offered a merit scholarship for the first time (for one of the schools I didn’t choose to go to) and I called my dad and told him they were offering me some money. He just thought it would be a few hundred dollars maybe, but when I told him $11,000 he was so surprised and was speechless. Like there was just silence for a few seconds for him to process it. The school I went to offered me $14,000 a year, and the scholarship I applied for and went there to write the essay for, brought the amount up to $18,000 (Sadly, this didn’t even cover half of the yearly tuition). It seemed like the best choice, even if they didn’t offer Japanese, I figured I could still learn on my own, and I didn’t realize that their IS program was so unique. If I had gone to any of the other schools, especially one of the bigger ones, I wonder if I would have made more friends. There would have been much more to do there. And all I would have to do was take classes and not be horribly stressed out by IS. Even if I was depressed toward the end of it, all I had to do was pass. Like even though I got good grades for the first two years, I would just need to pass the classes in the last two years to graduate. I got really off topic here I know. This is mostly just a stream of consciousness thing to get my thoughts out. And putting it here has probably stopped me from going into the kind of depressive rant that I usually go into when I write about my life.

Anyways, I’m not editing this or anything. I meant to write this while letting the Sims 4 load since it takes a while with the 938347283333 mods I have, but I forgot to actually start it, whoops!

tl;dr started writing this post meaning to talk about my college and senior IS, ended up having one of those sitcom clip episodes but in writing.

Also fuck my senior year high school math teacher, holy shit she was horrible at teaching

[grassie]

((Am not sure this is an OC because she is based on me in some way 😂))

Grassie Aldenhart,

She was born on earth, where the humans live. Carefree and curious she is, she found a mirror that she has never seen before on the attic and suddenly she felt she was being pulled into the mirror. Due to the shock, she couldn't scream, falling constantly in darkness. Then, a hand offered her a help, she grabbed it with instinct, hopefully to get out from this darkness.

6 months after adapting to the Night Raven College, she was brought to the magic mirror by the principal, Crowley. Half a year ago, the mirror said she has no magic so she had to be thrown to Ramshackle. But now, it's different. The magic mirror said she belongs to Diasomnia, despite she can only use one type of magic, Ice.

Therefore she received Diasomnia's uniform, and starts to live there. Much better than Ramshackle she thought.

Her love interest is actually Divus Crewel, her Alchemy teacher. Which is why she excels at that to gain his attention. Crewel would probably noticed her feelings already, but he is aware that he is a teacher, and Grassie is his student.

As an extrovert, she actually could befriend with everyone, including Malleus or even Floyd with his mood swings. One person she is not really close to is Riddle Roseheart, due to her rebellious nature and she can't really stand on too much rules. Still, Riddle is a good friend if she wants a company to go horses riding.

Her relationship with Heartslabyul students? Great! She has been constantly invited to the tea party because she eats a lot and apparently she can guess the ingredients of random cookies and cakes with her eyes closed. Though she is a bad cook so she never went in the kitchen. As a person who is easy to laugh, she laughs a lot when Ace & Deuce are at it again. Watching them feels like watching stand-up comedy. Cater always took a selfie with her when she visits and Trey gives her dental care kits because she had been eating a lot of sweets.

Relationship with Savanaclaw? Besties! She is the only manager of the basketball club, and because of that Jack has actually asked her to be the 'manager' in Savanaclaw, along with Ruggie (he is the mother of this dorm afterall). Once she had a great idea and asked Jack to lift her up while doing morning jog. It was a great memory.

Leona pique her interest, thus Grassie always wakes him up. She accompany him playing chess sometimes, though she is really bad at it. Leona could've just paid zero attention to her, yet he founds her amusing with how she perceives. Though she always loses to him, she never gives up and while playing she tells him stories about her day or her past. Plus, she is the only person he lets to sleeps on his bed if she feels sleepy or tired. Sometimes they take afternoon nap together!

Octavinelle, or Monstro Lounge is where she hangs out and apparently Grassie is Azul's personal financial advisor. During her time on earth, Grassie has always been the one who can manage her money and good with money-talks. Azul sees this potential, and when he offered her a contract, she actually read the details and did some negotiation to ensure more benefits on her! This suprises not only Azul, but also Jade & Floyd. The deal was made after tough negotiation. Azul and Grassie could be in the same wavelength in terms of intelligence and strategy.

She doesn't always visit the lounge everyday, but she made sure she always visit on saturday or sunday night. On the weekends, Azul plays piano, and her eyes always locked to him whenever he plays. One time Grassie asked Azul to play a song for her called 'Part of your world' on the piano, in exchange for her pay for that day. Since Diasomnia's uniform makes her out of the place whenever she visits, the twins prepared her a special velvet-made slit dress in purple for Grassie to wear whenever she visits. On flying lessons, Grassie can be seen try to teach & company the Octavinelle boys to fly, she herself loves height and flies around!

Grassie eats a lot. She is a foodie, which is they type of person Kalim likes! One of her bestest friend is actually Kalim. They are really on good terms. They fly around with Kalim's magic carpet and threw a sleepover party together. (She is also Kalim's financial advisor)

Jamil's cooks are one of her favorite in the world. Kalim & Grassie always visits him when he is cooking, or cheer on him when he dances. When Kalim is asleep, she would have a private talk with Jamil, mostly him telling about his relationship with Kalim and their past. Jamil sees her as a Kalim's friend at first, but when he tries to hypnotize her and it doesn't work, he starts to look more into her background whenever she visits apparently.

Makeup is one of Grassie's bestfriend, she can always pull off almost any look. And that's when Vil Schoenheit noticed her. He asked her about her makeup and from there they become best friend! Grassie appears on Vil's MagiCam sometimes, mostly either she does her makeup on him or vice versa. Some of his female followers envy her, but she couldn't care about that. Though Grassie is pretty neat in terms of makeup, she can't really do her hair. Vil or Rook always ready to help their dear friend.

Btw Grassie and Rook are the only ones that has seen Vil bare face.

Apple is one of her favorite fruit, so Epel would cut her apples and show off his skill which always made her in awe.

Extrovert and a very introverted person? Doesn't sounds they would get along well at all. Yet Grassie used to play a lot of game during her time on earth, which is why she gets along with Idia, dorm leader of Ignihyde. They play a lot of games together in Idia's rooms, even he showed her the hologram technology, and she thought that this dorm is way more advanced than current technology in Earth. Though Grassie always loses whenever she plays games with him, the only game she'd won is rhythm game. Ortho sometimes asked Grassie to help Idia to get out of his room too.

On one night though, Grassie was about to return to Diasomnia, when Idia stopped and told her to be careful around Malleus. Idia found something about her using his tech, he is aware that she is human from earth yet she has something in her that even his technology couldn't decipher. All he knows is green-colored magic aura inside her body on abnormal scale, which most likely from Malleus since he is the strongest mage in the whole college.

Diasomnia, her dorm. Grassie has been staying there for almost a month now. Her loyalty is low because she used to hangout with everyone and she is the opposite of Sebek personality. Plus, she sleeps in different places. On weekends she would sleep in Octavinelle, during afternoon you would find her napping in Savanaclaw, of course she sleeps in Scarabia because Kalim often invited her for sleepover party. Or you can also find her sleeping in Ignihyde if she played too much game with Idia. At least 50% of the time she sleeps in Diasomnia.

Sebek used to hate her because apparently after she came to the college, most of Malleus's attention is directing toward her. Slowly he grows fond of her, because she is attentive when he taught her Taijutsu.

Silver? Her companion when she sleeps in Diasomnia. His hair really attracts her attention and she would unconsciously touch his hair. He doesn't mind that. And he is always be the one that shield her if Sebek was about to snap at her.

Lilia is fond of her, mainly because she is a wholesome interesting human being, different from Silver and other humans he had met before. Plus, both Lilia and Grassie are superdupermegaextremely bad cook. And she always agrees to Lilia whenever he plans for something fun but evil in a way.

The only one that company Malleus when he visits abandoned building is Grassie. He doesn't really bring people along with him, but he wants her to be by his side. The great mage founds her beyond interesting, the way she laughs and eats, and when she is negotiating thinking for the next comeback until her face scrunch sometimes. The way she touch his horn because she was infatuated with it, which he always thought that his horns will scare her off.

One time she entwined her fingers with him when they were strolling around the college at night, and she told him what had happened to her today. Her smile under the moon, her laugh that echoes in his mind. The Malleus Draconia himself never thought that this girl has such a big power inside her, clearly not magic. He remembers once when he wasn't invited for a meeting, so she drags him to the meeting room and asked Crowley : "How could you don't remember this man with 2 metres in height, with horns and glowing green eyes? I should be the one that in charge of attendance now."

Grassie has actually been thinking of what Idia said that one night. She can't see what's so dangerous about this poor uninvited tall mage. He is strong, but that doesn't mean he is scary, she thought. For her, she is the best company in this college.

Malleus himself noticed her feelings toward Crewel. But he keeps silent about it, because in the end she will fall for him. How? Little did she know, the hand that pulled her from the darkness is his. The magic inside her body came from him and is what makes her can do a little bit of ice magic, and to prevent her from getting hurt or hypnotized. And that's why Jamil could never hypnotize her.

[justalarryblog]

🏵️ my youth is yours by @skarshes (6k) | Not Rated

"They shake hands and when they’re finished, Louis stands up to go shake Harry’s hand. He doesn’t understand why Harry is gawking at him until he realizes that he’s still dressed in a pair of blue lacy boyshorts. He blushes, but the response from Harry is the best, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are wide. Louis shakes his hand and welcomes him before leaving to go finish his last part of the photoshoot. Harry is still standing there with his mouth wide open when Louis walks out.

Oh, this is going to be so much fun, Louis thinks to himself as he gets in position for the next photo set."

Or: Louis is a model and Harry is his assistant. Cue the instant attraction, flirting, a little bit of smut, a little bit of angst, but a happy ending.

🏵️And I know he’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb by @capturethesunset (3k) | Not Rated

Louis getting wrecked by jealous Harry.

🏵️hop hop hop by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Suddenly, Harry’s slipping down his jeans, and Louis gasps as he’s met with a very unexpected but delicious sight. A mass of fur nestles between Harry’s cheeks, matching with the pink of the inner part of his bunny ears.

Or, the one in which Harry wears bunny ears and a bunny butt plug and Louis proceeds to fuck him.

🏵️Got A Lot You Wanna Show Off Baby by @Phillipa19 (3k) | Explicit

Louis had been in meetings all day, he should have known that Harry wouldn’t be ignored for much longer.

-OR-

Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy and his younger boyfriend is definitely not happy being ignored whilst Louis holds meetings in his home office. There may also be Harry in lacy knickers involved.

Part 2 of When I Land, You’re Mine

🏵️St. Austin’s School for Boys by @domtommo, @winsomefreak (100k) | Explicit

St. Austin’s School for Boys is a correction school for young men that uses corporal punishment as their means of discipline. After one too many infractions, Harry Styles is sent there till graduation. Upon arriving Harry meets his dorm advisor who also happens to be the first year sex-education teacher and footie coach, Louis Tomlinson. Harry falls in absolute adoration for the teacher and is all too ready to drop down onto his knees for him. During his stay he learns some very interesting things about himself… Welcome to St. Austin’s School for Boys, where the hallways are filled with love, drama, and sex.

Part 1 of St. Austin’s School for Boys

🏵️hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss by @icedwaters (27k) | Explicit

Louis would like to know when his life became a huge romantic comedy, because he’s starting to get tired of being the butt of every joke. Harry’s already at the club when he, Zayn, and Liam arrive. He’s got on the tightest jeans Louis has ever seen in his life (including his own), and this flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off, the buttons mostly undone to reveal the majority of his chest and a few tattoos. Louis’ eyes are first drawn to the big butterfly inked above his abs, then to black lines drawn on his shoulders, partly hidden by the edge of his shirt. He can’t help staring, his eyes clinging to Harry’s exposed skin.

(or louis is a 22 year old photographer in his third year of uni, and harry is his 19 year old cat-loving neighbor.)

🏵️I’m Gonna Love You (Until You Hate me) by @sweaterpawstyles (8k) | Explicit

As if reading his mind, Louis glanced over his glasses at Harry, presumably because Harry didn’t reply to his statement earlier.

“I decided to get my glasses out again,” he chuckled, winking at Harry. “Do you like them?“

Harry felt his face heat up. No, he didn’t just like them. He fucking loved them and wanted to ride Louis and call him daddy while he wore them. But he didn’t want to just tell Louis this.

Or

Louis wears glasses and Harry doesn’t like to be teased

🏵️jump in the deep end by @istajmaal (4k) | Explicit

Louis’s stomach lurches as he closes the last bit of distance, Harry’s nose settling between his arse cheeks and pushing them apart. Harry’s lips brush against the puckered skin around Louis’s hole in a kiss and Louis lets out a whine so high-pitched he barely recognizes it as coming from himself—what if I’m not clean enough, what if Harry hates it, what if Harry pushes me away—but then Harry’s long, wet tongue swoops in a circle around Louis’s rim and Louis feels like all the breath is knocked out of him. He grabs for Harry’s hand, still digging into his thigh, and squeezes over it, until Harry releases his vice grip on Louis’s thigh and laces his fingers through Louis’s.

or, Louis’s arse is a sensitive subject, so Harry approaches it gently. With his tongue.

🏵️shit, i still love you (still see you in bed) by @Wankerville (10k) | General Audiences

Harry hums, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, “I want daddy to fuck me in the gold booties he got me for my birthday.”

or, it’s valentine’s day and harry wants to be fucked in his gold boots

🏵️daddy daddy cool by @sky_reid (6k) | Explicit

harry wakes up hard.

🏵️Yes Daddy, I Will by @recklessandbrave (9k) | Explicit

Louis smirks, arms crossed while admiring the scene in front of him. He had Harry exactly where he wanted him; desperate while blindfolded and tied up, and he was loving it. He feels drunk off the sight of his boyfriend spread out for him, naked, hard, and needy.

Or the one where Harry distracts Louis while he works and gets the punishment he deserves, and so badly wants.

Part 1 of Pastel

🏵️Thank You, Daddy by @recklessandbrave (10k) | Explicit

Harry’s hot, wet mouth is around him before Louis even has the chance to blink, and it feels so good, the icy sting of the frozen dessert disappearing as Harry’s soft tongue laps it up. After Harry swallows, he pulls off the head of Louis’ cock and then dips down to trail his tongue up the shaft, collecting the bits that dribbled down. “Yummy. Thank you, daddy.” He hums pleasantly.

Or the one where Louis gets an idea, and Harry wears panties

Part 2 of Pastel

🏵️strawberry milk fic by @Wankerville (158k) | Explicit

“So here’s the thing,” he starts. “I didn’t mean what I said a few weeks ago to like, hurt your feelings or anything. If you like painting your nails, then you should do that, and not like, care if anyone else doesn’t like it because their opinions shouldn’t matter, you know?” Louis takes a breath, finally glancing over to see the boy wide-eyed and pink-cheeked. On a whim, he adds, “And like, I noticed you scraping it off and you haven’t been wearing any and I think you should because that’s what you like.” or an au where harry paints his nails and drinks strawberry milk and is too nervous for it to be nothing and louis’ just trying to figure out whats wrong with him

🏵️The Night Sky is Changing Overhead orphan_account (124k) | Explicit

“Um, sorry, but I believe that’s actually mine,” Harry said a bit awkwardly, pointing at the cup.

The man huffed, slightly narrowing his blue eyes, “Nope, large Americano, dash of cream.” He held the coffee up closer to Harry and honestly, Harry knew exactly what was in the cup because it was his coffee.

“Right,” Harry slowly drawled out as if he was talking to a toddler, “Which would make that mine.”

“Look, I really don’t have time for this, I’m running late. And this,” he said before he took a sip from the cup, “Is mine.”

Harry’s jaw dropped and he held his hands out, failing them slightly, “Wha-you can’t just drink it!”

“Well I did, so, do you still want it or can I be on my way?” The man challenged.

Harry shook his head disbelievingly, “Take it, but for the record, it says Harry on it.”

The man turned the cup around and a sharp laugh came out of his mouth, “Well, shit.” He looked at Harry, a smile stretched across his face as crinkles formed next to his eyes. “Thanks, Harry.”

🏵️driving instructor fic by @LoadedGunn (104k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who’s really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

🏵️Loving You Is Free by @littlelouishiccups (91k) | Explicit

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn’t been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

🏵️sex shop fic (dildornado ‘verse) by @istajmaal, @LoadedGunn (96k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is the most helpful sex shop salesperson in the history of sex shops, and Harry really was just looking for a vibrator with simple instructions (yet ended up getting a hands-on demonstration).

🏵️welcome to the mansion by @blankiehxrry (7k) | Explicit

Harry is a Playboy bunny.

🏵️Wild and Rain by @softandslow (45k) | Explicit

Louis has been looking after Tessa since he was sixteen. Harry’s a man in a business suit who has loved his daughter’s babysitter for three whole years.

🏵️But I’ll Still Take You Home by @LoadedGunn (9k) | Explicit

“So how old does that make you?”

It takes Harry a second. “Twenty.”

Louis arches an eyebrow. No matter how morally dubious that makes him, this boy is not twenty years old. “Bullshit.”

Harry pinches his bottom lip between two long fingers. “Eighteen.”

“What is this, a missile launch?”

Harry giggles. “Seventeen.”

Or, Harry is 17 at a college party, and Louis is not Brian Kinney.

🏵️can i stay the night by @frappeniall (3k) | Explicit

Louis pulled away and stood up, ‘This.. This is wrong. You’re 16.’

‘17 in 6 minutes,’ Harry interjected, ‘If that helps.’

[harry has a crush on his older neighbor, louis, and stays the night at his house when he gets in trouble with the police]

🏵️Can’t help but touch myself by @Tita (7k) | Explicit

“I asked what these were, love.” Harry gulps. “Panties,” he explains with heated cheeks, needing more than the light touches from Louis and getting nothing. “What did you get them for? Were they to impress someone else?” He asks, and Harry shakes his head fervently, stumbling over his words as he tries to get his tongue to cooperate. “No, no,” he emphasizes, arching his back to plaster himself to Louis. “For you, always for you, Daddy.”

🏵️Champagne by @fanshae (2k) | Explicit

“Look at how pretty you are,” Louis murmurs, Harry’s stockinged toes curling against the floor at the praise, “Give Daddy a twirl, baby.”

🏵️Give It Up To Me by @krisstylinson (8k) | Explicit

“You’re going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge,” he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

“And?” Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis’ arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. “What if I wanted you to?”

Or the cliché where Louis isn’t supposed to come but he does, and that can’t go unpunished in Harry’s eyes.

🏵️I can feed your appetite by @dirrtylarry (5k) | Explicit

During a meal out with the other boys, Harry teases Louis to get what he wants.

🏵️I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

🏵️it ain’t trickin’ if ya got it by @sarcasticfluentry (10k) | Explicit

Louis raises an eyebrow and smirks. “You have to ask nicely, Harry.”

They’ve never really played like this before, and Louis is a little out of his element but he finds that they’re both falling effortlessly into their roles (and not just because Louis is good at acting).

Harry’s too overwhelmed, though, to say anything without first gasping, “I c-can’t - god, I can’t believe you - please, Daddy, please put it inside?”

… or, 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

🏵️let’s talk about making love by @istajmaal (25k) | Explicit

“That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he’s Daddy.

🏵️nominae by @pressedpeachpits (2k) | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis is Harry’s beautiful acting professor, and Harry is an awkward college freshman with a crush on said teacher. After a slip up with what name to call him, Harry finds himself in a world of embarrassment, obsession, and lots of support from his roommate Niall.

Or, the one in which Harry calls his teacher Daddy, but it isn’t as bad as he expected

🏵️smile in slow motion by @istajmaal (24k) | Explicit

“It’s 2011, Niall. People can fuck their friends’ faces without it meaning anything more than that.”

or, Louis is Harry’s dom and maybe also his soulmate.

🏵️sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

🏵️To Be Loved To Be In Love by @Angel_Dust (129k) | Mature

At 18, every Sub must take a Match Test to find their Dom.

Poor, Farm kid Louis Tomlinson is matched with Rich, Businessman Harry Styles.

Or, where Harry thinks giving Money, expensive presents and luxuries proves how much you love someone, but Louis is about to turn his world upside down.

🏵️Untitled sugardaddy fic by orphan_account (2k) | Explicit

Harry comes home from a long day at work and has his way with his baby. (That’s Louis.)

Or

The one with all the daddy kink sex and spanking. It’s pure pwp

🏵️Wake Me Up by @larrystylins (2k) | Explicit

Harry stretches and accidentally pushes his bare bum into Louis’ crotch. Oh. That’s definitely Louis’ cock. Okay that’s definitely the outline of Louis’ hard cock pressing against him. “Lou?” he whispers. Of course Louis is fast asleep..

or Harry wakes up to Louis’ morning wood pressed against his bum. Harry gets needy. Louis wakes up and punishes him.

🏵️You Don’t Need Me To Show The Way by@LoadedGunn (6k) | Explicit

But right there, on Harry’s iPod, is a folder entitled Lou Sappy Sappy Long Indie Hipster 80’s Love Songs Mixtape.

Louis expects a sappy mix tape. He might even expect his own shitty versions of Foo Fighter songs. What he doesn’t expect is clicking on “AUD-20101223” and suddenly hearing loud moaning. He gasps and scrambles to pause it, so shocked the iPod drops right to Harry’s stomach. Harry looks absolutely mortified, even more than he did when Louis played High School Musical. He’s blushing so furiously his face bypassed rosy straight to flaming red, and his mouth is closing and opening like he can’t think of a single thing to say.

Then Louis starts laughing uproariously. “Hiiii, I’m Harry from Cheshire, when I’m on the road I like listening to indie music and gay porn.”

Or, 2011 fic where Harry rides dick for the first time and Louis appreciates technology.

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