#also when i wrote this i had a deja vu? i hope this is not exactly the same reply i've written you once in another thread?

[yakam0z]

@lasraichean's 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 ( requested! ) ∘ ∘ ∘ ❝ i’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re just gonna babysit me today. ❞

the day has just begun, when nero's plans are entirely overhauled. it takes a single call and a lamenting voice on the other end to convince them to change everything. ❝ stop acting like i forced myself on you. i'd rather be somewhere else too than this stinky cave of misery. ❞

with their elbow, nero pokes annie's side, though just to make her scoot over, a hint that nero needs more space on the couch. well-earned space. for the sacrifice and other stuff. spending time with annie means no meetup is like the other. what evil surprises will ambush them today? ( the choice of which film to watch. )

❝ you're this day's suffering soul. sooo ... pick the movie. ❞ his warning glance is locked on her, mischievous ─ not too serious and not too intense. a little challenging.

there is a coy glint veiling nero's pupils, their taste in entertainment differs in a few aspects. though, annie does not need to worry about his preferences, they do not matter right now and in this particular setting. ❝ also don't call it babysitting unless you want to go to bed at six ─ sharp. ❞

[amsgrey]

Deja Vu II

Part I

Okay so, I have been researching more and trying to get things at least somewhat accurate before I wrote part two. In the first part, I wrote TBI, with further research, what I was actually trying to write is an Anoxic brain Injury (still technically a TBI). The whole idea there is when the brain is starved of oxygen critical functions are impacted and there can be a whole bunch of differing symptoms after it. OBVIOUSLY, I am NOT a medical professional, so take everything with a big ol' grain of salt. I am thinking of writing some more parts to this but purely when I have time bc adult life sucks. I kept the ending open but also al actual end, unlike the first part. Hope it is somewhat enjoyable.

WARNINGS: Medical stay, seizures, talk of needles + medical procedures, hospitals, Will and Jay being their usually angsty selves, poor writing and zero editing

"Will?"

Abrams looked between the Halsteads, not sure what his place was. Everyone remembered when Pat Halstead passed, mostly because the Halstead brawl was talked about for weeks. Will Halstead was known for causing headaches for plenty of people around Med, he was the topic of gossip all through the building.

Abrams was saved by the bell - literally. His pager started beeping, excusing him from the brewing storm between the brothers.

"I'll put in for the tests," He tossed over his shoulder, disappearing into the stream of medical workers.

"Will." Jay snapped, glowering at his brother.

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "Abrams needs to run more tests."

"More tests?" Jay pressed, "What just happened, Will?"

Will shook his head, looking at his younger brother he knew, telling Jay how bad this might be, would destroy him. Jay hated hospitals, hated medical things in general. Will couldn't look him in the eye and plant the same fear he had gnawing at him.

"I don't know, Jay," Will sighed, "I'm not a neurologist."

Jay didn't want to accept his answer, but Will didn't give him much of a chance. He turned back to your hospital room, forcing a smile as he entered.

"What was that about?" You asked, exactly where they left you.

"Just more tests," Will smiled. He stopped at the top of your bed, checking you over with doctor's eyes. You could always tell when he flipped between Big Brother and Doctor because Big Brother Will wore his emotions. Doctor Will was better at keeping his poker face like he was now.

Will's eyes flittered around the monitors before settling back on yours. His eyes softened, the slight furrow in his brow disappearing and a smile pulling on his lips again.

"You feeling alright?"

You nodded, "I'm just tired."

Will nodded, he reached out and brushed the hair off your forehead, "Get some sleep, yeah? We'll be here the whole time."

Jay reached out and squeezed your hand, before pulling up the blanket and tucking you in.

A few hours later, you were sitting up in your hospital bed while a Neurology Tech attached electrodes to your scalp. Jay had left for home, for a shower and clean clothes. He promised he would bring back your blanket and pillow and some other stuff to make you more comfortable, seeming Will said it would be okay.

While he was gone, Will sat at the end of the bed, holding your hand through the Electrode placement. After the Tech finished, you were attached to a monitor with wires upon wires, all differing colours. The tech apologized for the cap that sat over all the leads, promising it wasn’t too bad.

“it��s a new fashion trend,” you joked, smiling at the tech, “Nuero floor chic.”

The tech laughed, continuing her work. When she was done, she walked you through what she had done. Explaining the placement and the leads, and how it all worked.

"This is your personal EEG," She explained, gesturing to the boxy machine on wheels that your wires were attached to, "Try to keep it close."

She explained a few more things, then promised to return in a little while. In her absence, Dr. Abrams stopped through again. He looked over the techs work, mumbling to himself and making medical comments only Will understood.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

You had already taken a nap, so you weren't as tired as you had been.

"Sick of sitting," You said, stretching your legs and accidentally nudging Will in the process. Will playfully batted at your feet, feigning offence.

Abrams pulled at the EEG machine on wheels, testing how the wheels glided, "If you are feeling up for it, you can go for a small walk."

You lit up, "I can?"

"If you take it slow," Abrams ordered, "And Will is by your side."

Will nodded, "Are you feeling up for it?"

"Yes."

Will helped you detangle yourself from the blanket, letting you adjust to being fully upright for the first time that day. Your feet dangled over the bed as you took a moment to compose your spinning head. Will pulled a pair of socks over your bare feet, muttering something about keeping your toes warm. He held your arm as you stood up, supporting your weight as your body adjusted again.

"You alright?"

"Mmm," You responded, focused on staying upright.

"Okay," Will wrapped an arm around your waist, "One step at a time, we'll try to make it to the nurse's station and back."

It was slow going. With every step you took, it felt like the world was twisting, like walking through an earthquake. Will's arms hovered around you, only holding you up when you needed the support. He was so steady in his support, his warm presence keeping you grounded and calm.

Two steps outside of your room, Jay bounded up with your pillow and blanket tucked under his arm.

"They're upright," He commented, "Nice hair, too."

He reached out and pretended to ruffle your hair, careful to avoid touching the wires around your head. You reached out to smack his hand, but missed drastically.

You frowned at Jay, frustration barely contained, "Sshut. uphh."

The words sounded fumbled through your gritted teeth. Abrams had mentioned how you needed to take things slow and Will tried to tell you that it might be frustrating at first, but you weren’t expecting to feel such anger. It was gnawing away at you. A week ago you were dancing around with Makayla, wrangling her for a weekend while Kim and Adam worked. You had run around, danced, sung, every little thing that made Makayla happy. Not you hardly knew how to move your feet, could hardly tell what direction was up.

The anger grew and held firm in your head, making itself known with its red cloud fogging your mind.

Will grabbed your hand, "You okay?"

"Hmm."

Your vision blurred, everything swaying and twisting as you fell forward.

Will was faster than Jay was, for once. He saw the signs a mile away, already braced for when you would fall. He held you to his chest, lowering both of you to the ground and cradling your head as your body started to convulse.

Jay immediately dropped what he was carrying, falling to his knees by your side. Jay looked up at Will trying to ask silently what to do, but the eldest Halstead had gone full doctor mode.

"Need some help over here!" Will shouted, calling for the nurse's assistance.

"I need you to breathe,” Will spoke with such certainty, like he was treating any other patient.

“You’re okay,” Will kept repeating, “Just breathe, I’ve got you.”

Jay was ushered out of the way by the nurses, who crowded in with monitors and equipment to help Dr Halstead. All Jay could do was watch helplessly.

Jay held his breath as the medical team got you off the ground and transferred you back to the hospital bed. The leads they had removed that morning were reattached, placed on your ashen skin.

Dr Abrams rushed into the room and ordered Will to get out of his way, the forced politeness gone now the situation was emergent. Will stepped back, somewhat dubiously, letting Abrams run his team.

“How did you do that?” Jay asked when will stood by his side, the pair of them watching as Abrams and the team worked.

With a dose of meds, the convulsions stopped, but the team checked over the leads and kept working.

“Do what?” Will asked, turning to look at his brother. Jay had grown pale, the fear and anxiety he felt spelt out across his features. His eyes kept darting from you to the heart monitor screen like it was going to flatline.

“Stay so calm?” Jay whispered, taking a deep breath for the first time in the last few minutes. The nurses placed a mask over your face, securing it behind your head and then leaving the Halsteads and Abrams in the room.

“Jay…” Will tried to find a way to explain it, how he could just shut off his fear in that moment to help you. But he couldn’t find the words.

“She’s stable,” Abrams spoke in the silence that had formed, “From now on, we’ll keep giving them diazepam to keep them relaxed. No more strolls, even if it is supervised.”

Will nodded, taking it in.

Abrams was mostly speaking to Will, Jay was by your side, focused solely on you. He held your hand, careful to avoid the IV that was in the back of it. He watched you breathe, every-time you exhaled, he watched the mask fog up. He listened to the quiet puffs and the melodic beeping. You were okay. He kept trying to force himself to remember that. You were okay.

“Hopefully we can get this under control. In the meantime, we’ll keep monitoring, keep on with the EEG testing for the next few hours. Hopefully we’ll learn more.”

Will nodded, clapping Abrams on the back, “Thanks, Sam.”

The big brother in him wanted to press for answers, but the doctor in him knew that sometimes Doctors didn’t have the answers. If Abrams knew, he would share.

Will did a check over you and the monitors with his eyes, again. Then looked over to Jay, who looked completely deflated. It was no secret that Jay hated hospitals and medical treatment in general, especially needles. Spending time in hospitals usually gave him the creeps and he would always say to Will, “I don’t know how you do it, man.”

But Jay hadn’t complained even once. Not when he was watching the IV get put in your hand, or while you were attached to countless machines. Will knew it was because he felt hopeless. The same look that he wore at their dads bedside he wore now. Will stood and stared for a while, the memory playing in his mind in time with real life. This was different. You weren’t on life support like your father had been, things were different. That didn’t change the memories Will had of his dads last moments plaguing his mind.

“I stayed calm because i had too,” Will finally spoke. Jay looked up, watching his brother cross his arms over his chest and take a deep breath.

“I had to stay calm, for her.”

Jay shook his head, “I just froze, Will. And you-“

“Trained for years to react in medical emergency situations, spent years working the ER,” Will interrupted.

“Jay,” Will reached over the bed and gave jays shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “I do this every day. I know how to tune out the emotions and focus on medical stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Will sat on one of the chairs, mirroring Jay across the bed, “Listen. I could never get used to being shot at, could never be shot at and react how you do. Because I’m not trained, I’m not good at that. You aren’t a doctor Jay, stop beating yourself up over something that was a basic human reaction.”

Jay didn't answer, letting silence fall over the room. Neither one of the brothers was up for a conversation, mostly just consumed with their own thoughts as they watched you sleep.

You had stirred a few times in the coming hours but mostly stayed sleeping. Will told Jay that it was a combination of the medication and the stress of recent events catching up with you. In his words, it was nothing to worry about.

"Hey," A soft voice called from the door, Will and Jay stood to greet Hailey as she stepped into the room.

Will and Jay had been off work since you had gotten worse, staying by your side or close by ever since. Both Voight and Goodwin understood, giving them all the time they needed.

"I brought some supplies," Hailey joked, handing food over to the brothers, "And I stopped by home and Wills, got some clothes."

"Thanks, Hailey."

"Yeah, Of course." Hailey stood by Jay, taking his hand for his comfort. "How's she doing?"

Will relayed the events of the day, the incident in the hall and all the things that had happened since. Things were moving fast, more tests and hopeful treatment plans were being talked about.

"It'll be okay," Will finished, mostly trying to convince Jay more than himself. He knew the look on Abram's face, knew that everything was far from okay.

Will told Jay to go back to work after a week, promising him that sitting by your side was a one-man job. Will had spoken to Goodwin, who agreed to let him take his occurred PTO for as long as he needed. So for the three weeks you were in the hospital he stayed by your side. You weren't used to having Will there every single minute of every single day, but you didn't mind it too much. Mostly he helped you go on walks or watched over you like a personal nurse. You knew that he and Jay were worried, but the overprotective brother act was suffocating at times. During the last week of your stay, you managed to convince him to let you have more space - that when he left the room you wouldn't make a break for it like Jay would. He agreed hesitantly, mostly hanging around from lunch until you fell asleep at night. You complained to Jay when he visited every day, but you were thankful he was there.

On the last few days of your time in the hospital, you were more independent, nothing like what you were before the accident, but more than before. You could walk small distances unsupported and some of your fine motor skills came back. The PT had told you it was common after TBI's for patients to lose control of their movements and motor skills, she promised that you would get better as time went on.

Dr Abrams had spoken to Will and Jay about Rehabilitation centres, there were a few in the city that focused on TBI rehabilitation but Will had been dragging his feet. Jay wanted to do what was best for you, even if it meant you might have to stay in a rehab facility. Will had a sour taste in his mouth over it all.

"Come in," Goodwin called from inside her office.

Will pushed open the door, greeting Sharon and Peter.

"What can I help you with, Doctor Halstead?" Sharon asked after Peter had left.

Will explained his plan, reviewing all the details he had sorted out. When he finished, Sharon was nodding in approval.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am," Will was sure nothing could change his mind now.

"Okay then, I will talk to Dr Archer, and see how we can help," Goodwin bid Will the best, letting him continue on his way.

Will met Jay right outside your room, almost running straight into him.

"Will," Jay grabbed his brother's arm, "We need to talk about the rehab facility-"

"Yeah," Will nodded, "I know, i have a plan."

Will ushed Jay back into the room. He gestured to Jay to a chair and took a seat at the end of your bed. You were expecting him to stop by, sitting up properly on the bed expecting some kind of serious conversation from the eldest Halstead.

"What is it, doc?" You joked.

Will smiled, reaching out and holding your hand, "I have spoken to Dr Abrams and Sharon Goodwin and I have decided that we won't be trying to find a rehab facility."

Jay sighed, he had been arguing with Will about this for the better part of the week. "Will-"

"I think you should stay with me," Will told you directly, "I've taken a leave of absence, I think you should be home and recovering."

You looked to Jay, who was just as surprised. Jay hardly got caught off guard by Will, right now he had never been more surprised.

"Are you sure?" Jay broke the silence that settled over the room.

"If that is what you want?"

You could feel the joy blooming in your chest, a wide smile breaking across your face, "Yes. Please, yes."

Will mirrored your grin, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your forehead. At times like this, you were reminded how much Will and Jay became like parents to you after your father's death. Although it was painful for all of you, you didn't have a good relationship with your father. He was never caring or affectionate, he never came to your sports games or awards, that was all Jay and Will. They stepped up and took care of you, they always have and promised they always would. You were so drained from the last few days of tests and the week in the hospital that you felt like you might burst into tears.

Will could sense your fragile state, staying sitting by your side and holding your hand. Jay got to his feet and pulled you into a hug too, then clapped Will on the back. 

“So when am I allowed out?” You pressed, hoping to be home and somewhere familiar. 

“Slow your roll,” Jay laughed, “There's still things that need to be organized.” 

You let out a loud dramatic sigh, “I hate it here,” You whined. 

Will wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him and playfully messing up your hair, “It won't be too much longer, promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” You raised your finger, dramatically pouting. 

Will indulged you, linking his pinky through yours and giving you a serious stare, “Pinky promise.”

taglist: @halstead-severide-fan

[pommpuriinn]

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧﹐txt﹕🎤﹒ʬʬ DEJA VU ERA HIGHLIGHTS

𐙚 synopsis 𐙚 - little Joohyung highlights that stuck with moas during the promotion period of ‘Deja Vu’ along with Joohyung’s styling during the promotions.

𐙚 author’s note 𐙚 - I plan on writing for the little fan meetings they have after music banks and fansigns/fancalls. Hope you enjoy :3

𐙚 Deja Vu 𐙚

𐙚 I’ll See You There Tomorrow 𐙚

✧ let’s start with some negative things that happened during the promotion period. The number one thing was that knetizens didn’t like how much skin Joohyung was showing with all of her stage outfits

✧ Joohyung didn’t have a safety undergarment for her chest area. Knetizens were saying how inappropriate it was and that her stylist “should’ve known better”. Joohyung shut those knetizens up by posting many photos of herself in those “revealing” outfits with the caption ‘I love being me🥰’

✧ another controversy was Joohyung’s tattoos and how their staff didn’t cover them up with tape. As everyone knows when idols have tattoos and they go on music shows they have to cover them up with body tape, but for Joohyung she didn’t want to and the staff just let it slide plus the music bank staff didn’t mind it either

✧ how many lines Joohyung got for txt’s title track ‘Deja Vu’. Even though Joohyung wrote the song and mostly produced the song she got one second lines, only ad-lids, and the only time you fully hear Joohyung’s line is towards the end of the song. This cause a division online with some moas. One side was mad at bighit for only giving their genius idol so little lines for the title track even though she created the masterpiece. The another side was fine with the little lines because Joohyung gets the dance break and the iconic kick

✧ the final thing is Joohyung got no solo variety show appearances. Throughout all of txt’s career Joohyung hasn’t gotten any solo variety shows appearances. This is also a debate if Joohyung even wants to go by herself or just rather stick with going with her members instead

✧ aside from all the negativity there was a lot of good things that happened during the promotional time. Even thought some people didn’t like the styling for dumb reasons many actually really liked all of Joohyung’s outfits. Many started recreating and posing tiktoks about getting the ‘Joohyung look’

✧ Joohyung’s stylist wasn’t the only one getting praise Joohyung’s makeup artist was getting praise for using gems and glitter as tears (ex: 1, 2, 3) since the song is a more emotional and the makeup artist want to emulate pretty tears in her art

✧ Joohyung’s stage presence and acting during every single performance shocked everyone. Joohyung expressed the sad emotions of the song beautifully that it even got the locals talking about how they never seen someone acting so well, while singing and dancing not looking tried or missing a beat. Because of all the big twitter accounts talking about Joohyung and sharing her fancams along with trending, Hybe did get some exciting emails from movie/shows production teams

✧ speaking of singing, Joohyung vocals were a big topic online. Joohyung was praised for her raw vocals even though she had little lines she made sure to sing them along with her ad-lids. Moas that went in person to the music shows said that ‘Joohyung unnie was always louder than the back track!’. During the encore stages Joohyung would give extra ad-lids and little highs notes that were considered but not made into the final production of ‘Deja Vu’

✧ another viral moment while performing their title track was towards the end of the inkigayo stage after the dance break/kick Joohyung was able to shed a tear while singing passionately. The camera man deserves a rise because he zoomed in just in time to capture the viral moment. Online many moas in ‘awe’ and rightfully so bragging about their idol, and the other moas were making jokes;

‘ why is she singing like she just got divorced and got separated from her kids😭’

‘ did members not want to cuddle backstage 💀’

‘ she just wiped her tear, smiled, and wave then just walked off stage like nothing happened she was like 😢😐🤗🚶🏻‍♀️’

✧ the two members who constantly don’t think they’re cute have been proved wrong again. Both Joohyung and Taehyun had sharp eyes during their end pose, and once the staff yelled ‘cut’ their eyes instantly went big and sparkling. Once again proving everyone right, they are the cutest

✧ Joohyung performing’ISYTT’ just causing heart attacks because of her mischievous and flirty actions towards the camera

✧ articles having the headlines saying ‘Gen Z ‘it’ siblings strike again with a new trend’ the article was talking about how Yeonjun and Joohyung kept on showing the top of underwear (ex) especially in the ‘ISYTT’ performances

✧ during this era Joohyung was more on the quiet side, but she was very unintentionally cute. There was many clips of Joohyung just being in her own world zoning out, members taking care of her, and treating her like the maknae 





[perfectsunlight]

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞́ 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cheating, insecurities.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5,233

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you and rosé have been broken up for months now. but when rumors suddenly spread of your ex and a new lover, you can't help but wonder if she gets deja vu.

𝐚/𝐧: this was the first kpop fic i ever wrote back in 2021. i didn't finish it until this year. i hope u all enjoy this ancient work lol

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend, they went crazy.

you, this seemingly mysterious american actress, and none other than blackpink's own rosé. the media had fabricated their own stories of how you two had met, as well as playing some sort of a guessing game to see how long your relationship has been going for. some journalists were brave enough to even try and pin an expiration date on your relationship, but you and your girlfriend simply found the whole ordeal entertaining.

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend's breakup, they completely lost it.

thousands of comments, numerous phone calls, as well as the mobs of the paparazzi, followed you everywhere you went. the media once again fabricated stories to try and create even more drama, and with the paparazzi practically hounding you for answers, it felt like the end of the world all over again. except this time, you were on your own.

"y/n l/n!" "over here!" "y/n, are the rumors true?" "y/n, can we get a statement from you?"

your nails dug into your palms as you increased your walking pace, trying your best to navigate through the seemingly never-ending sea of blinding flashes. it had only been two weeks since the breakup, and somehow everyone and their mother seemed to know about it. even through your sunglasses, you still had a hard time figuring out the quickest route to escape all of this. 

you couldn't help but wonder how rosé was dealing with all of this. usually, the two of you would be able to tiptoe around the paparazzi and journalists. the media hounded you both once yg released a statement confirming your relationship. yet, somehow, you guys managed to avoid everything the majority of the time, and during the few occurrences that you both were caught off guard, having each other there helped make the anxiety-inducing experience more tolerable.

a car door opened for you and you quickly sat down inside, physically exhaling a breath you didn't realize you had been holding in. leaning your head back against the seat, your eyes slipped close. even through the tinted windows and your shut eyes, you could still see the flashing lights. 

you could also still hear their voices.

"l/n, what was the cause of the breakup?" "y/n, why were you not at rosé's party?" "are you and rosé officially over?"

tears began to form at the corners of your eyes, and even though the car windows were tinted, you feared the thought of any image of you crying being plastered all over the internet. you couldn't let the world see you like this. 

more specifically, you couldn't let park chaeyoung see you like this.

you didn't have her at your side anymore, but you knew she was not free from the wrath of the public at the moment either. your breakup came unexpectedly. after nearly a year and a half together, your agencies had announced that you called it quits. your relationship was going so well, and the public adored you two. but of course, it wasn't like your relationship had always been smooth sailing.

as a matter of fact, it was anything but smooth sailing.

relationships take work, but relationships with an international superstar require exponentially more work. you were an actress, but not on the level of rosie's status. the first time you met your now ex-girlfriend was about a year after blackpink had debuted. your agency had flown you out to south korea for filming a few scenes for a new upcoming movie. when yg caught wind of your arrival, they immediately reached out and offered to give you a tour of their offices, as well as introduce you to some of their own notable people in the entertainment industry. 

you were simply there to make new connections, but when you first arrived, you immediately ended up getting lost.

and that's when you bumped into her. literally.

-

"i am so, so sorry."  

your ears perked up at the recognizable accent that came from the girl in front of you. she was definitely not originally from korea. "it's alright, i should have been paying more attention to where i had been going." flashing a small smile, you tried your best to assure her that it was also your fault.

the other girl visibly relaxed at your comment, returning the smile you threw her way. "you look a little lost. do you need help finding someone? or a specific room? i'd be happy to help." 

relief washed over you as you gave her a few nods. "that would be wonderful, thank you so much." 

you stuck your hand out in front of you, smiling brightly. "i’m y/n."

the other girl grinned and mirrored your actions, firmly grasping her hand with yours.

"rosé."

-

you never planned on befriending the idol who helped you navigate yg's building. yet, somehow, you two managed to develop somewhat of a friendship over time. she would call you in between her practices, and you were there, always eager to listen to her. you would often do the same as well, sending her snaps or little texts throughout your day in between filming scenes. 

she knew about your aspirations and dreams, the way you liked your coffee, the way you had a fear of spiders. you knew about her struggles as a trainee, how she loved to play the guitar almost all the time, and her favorite spicy foods.

the both of you seemed to grow closer and closer everyday, and before you knew it, you were slowly starting to fall for the girl.

after all, it wasn't hard to fall for someone like rosé. she was beautiful, talented, and so kindhearted. you admired her passion for music, and every once in a while, she would even offer to bring you over so you could meet the other members of the group. you would have loved to take her up on that offer, and as much as rosie hated to admit it, you two were just so busy to even meet up for a bite to eat.

your friendship became somewhat strained as blackpink began to gain traction internationally, along with your own career gaining more attention as well. soon enough, your almost daily interactions turned into once a week conversations, until they became a few short texts every once in a while. 

yet, little did you know, the idol was also slowly falling for you. jisoo was the first to notice it, and of course lisa was the first to make fun of her for it. jennie tried her best to keep the maknae in line, but it was most often to no avail. rosé was more than aware of how her company would react if they found out, and she knew that she couldn't risk potentially damaging her career right now. but she couldn't help it. after all, you were the only person she could think about, even during your absence from each other.

a few months had passed by, and the two of you haven't really spoken to each other at all. it wasn't anyone's fault really, especially once your movie was nearing its release date and with blackpink just dropping their newest track, "ddu-du ddu-du". about a week and a half before its release worldwide, your agency had decided to hold a movie premiere in new york city. 

-

"y/n! over here!" "look this way!" "you look stunning, l/n!"

fitted in the most exquisite emerald-colored dress, you made your way across the red carpet. you waved and stopped to pose for a few moments before getting ushered into the building. chatter buzzed through the building as everyone conversed with each other. you and your co-stars had been engaging in your own discussions when suddenly louder cheering and shouting was heard from outside. 

despite the pandemonium occurring outside, one name they were shouting was clearer than crystal to you. immediately turning around as the doors opened, you couldn't help but smile with pride at the attention that the group had brought with them. rosé's eyes immediately scanned the room, but she didn't have to look long before you began walking towards her.

the now blonde girl let out the most contagious laugh as she practically threw her arms around you. you two were practically jumping up and down, causing the other three members of blackpink to laugh at your antics. 

"y/n/n! it's been forever!"  rosie's hands stayed wrapped around your waist, while yours stayed on top of her shoulders. rosé couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at you, and you couldn't stop smiling at how excited she was to see you. "i know! i've just been so busy, but so have you! you all are doing such an amazing job."  you complimented as you turned your head towards the other girls. 

rosé properly introduced you to the other girls in the group; jisoo, jennie, and lisa. the five of you chatted away about everything and anything, up until each of your managers ushered you all to your seats for the premiere. fortunately, blackpink was seated on the aisle to the left of you and your cast members. part of the australian wanted to just move the other actors next to you out of the way so she could sit beside you, but she knew better than that.

throughout the whole movie, you two kept stealing glances at each other. jennie even had to tell rosie to stop "drooling" over you and watch your movie. the only thing your manager told you was to use this opportunity to "strengthen connections”

it wasn't until the afterparty that things got more interesting for you two. 

after a few drinks and lots of dancing, you and everyone else there were drunk out of your minds. the only people who were less intoxicated were jisoo and each of your managers. jisoo was tipsy enough though to start randomly doing the chicken dance with jennie every fifteen minutes or so.

as a congratulatory gift, the girls had provided you and your cast members with some korean alcohol from overseas. needless to say, you were still heavily intoxicated, but still somehow seriously questioning how in the world the soju you drank tasted like hand-sanitizer.

rosé couldn't stop laughing at the face you made every time you took a sip from the green bottle. "y/n, the face you make gets me every time." jennie busted out laughing as well as she looked over jisoo's shoulder, before teasing you. "you know, for an actress you seriously have no facial control when it comes to liquor."  she said with a grin. you rolled your eyes while fighting the urge to gag at the aftertaste lingering in your throat.

"do you need me to get you some water?" lisa inquired before she took another sip of the soju she had in a glass, biting back her own laughter as she observed your current state.

"no, it's okay. i can go find some." you coughed out as you stood up slowly before waving with your hand as you walked away, shouting a quick "i'll be right back" before beginning your search for water. 

you wandered around the tables and shelves, searching for any water. unfortunately, there seemed to be none. sighing, you rubbed your temple and grabbed an empty rocks glass before making your way out of the main room and down the hallway. upon finding the bathroom, you filled the empty glass with water from the sink and swallowed it quickly.

the illuminated mirror made you take in your current flushed face, and the small beads of sweat that glittered your forehead. your makeup was somehow still intact, and your hair was still also. suddenly the door opened, and you were met with an all-too familiar face.

"i just came to check on you, i saw you leave the room so i wanted to make sure you were alright." the other girl stated slowly, the alcohol still clearly in her system. it was almost adorable though, and a faint tint of red spread across your cheeks at the thought of the blonde caring about you.

"i'm alright, thank you though, rosie. there wasn't any water out there, so i just got some from the sink." you explained with a small smile. 

"i don't think i mentioned this to you yet tonight, but you look absolutely stunning, y/n." your face flushed again at her words. your eyes met hers as she leaned against the sink next to you. quickly shooting her a genuine smile, you looked away from her and back to your reflection. "thank you, rosie. you look stunning tonight as well." you replied.

"i really missed you." 

rosé didn't know if it was the alcohol in her system, or the fear that she would grow farther apart from you after tonight, but for whatever reason, her confession seemed to linger in the air and echo off of the walls of the bathroom. slowly, you turned your head to look at her once more, and to your surprise the blonde shifted and leaned forward to give you a hug. 

"i missed you too, chae."

for the second time that night, your arms made their home around the idol's neck. she inhaled your scent, and your head rested in the crook of her neck. but for the first time in your life, you felt as if the world grew silent. the other girl pulled away slightly, still keeping her arms around your body. you simply stared at her in confusion, trying to decipher the look on her face. 

roseanne knew the risks. she knew how hard she and the other girls had worked to make it to where they were today. she knew about how hard you had worked to get to where you were as well, and she would hate to put either of you at risk. but she couldn't help herself. 

years of expectations, years of training, and years of loneliness had made their place in the idol's history. tonight, she was going to change that. right then and there, she had decided she was going to risk it all because she deserved to be happy. and so did you.

you don't remember how it actually happened. all you remembered was your lips on hers, you two leaving the party together, and rest was history.

-

at first, the two of you kept your relationship practically invisible. the only others who knew were the other members. you guys had managed to keep it that way for the first three and a half months before dispatch had leaked a photo of the two of you holding hands and kissing goodbye as you walked through the airport. you two had thought that since your fans weren't as crazy as hers, that you could get away with it this one time. unfortunately, you two failed to realize that blinks would be able to tell it was rosie from miles away. 

you had hopped on a flight from new york city to seattle for a fan-signing event for your next upcoming project and unfortunately did not see the photo until you landed.

you remembered how you called her panicking in the middle of the airport bathroom, practically on the verge of a heart attack. but you were not fearing for your own career; it was for hers. yg had just announced that blackpink was supposed to perform at coachella only a week before the image was leaked.

what you didn't know though was that rosé had a meeting with her managers during your flight and before you called her. 

due to her still being at your apartment in new york city until the following morning, yg had been able to contact her pretty easily. since korea was 13 hours ahead, the company had caught wind of the dispatch photo rumor only an hour and a half before it would reach the headlines in north america. 

what you also didn't know was that yg and your blonde lover had released an official statement confirming the relationship. 

the company thought it was a great business move by rosie, and even applauded her for drawing more international attention to the group. of course the other girls in the group were not fond of the company's perspective of your relationship, but it was not like they could have asked for a better reaction.

time went on, and everything was practically perfect between you two; at least to the public eye it seemed so. 

you both loved each other very much, but you would be lying if you said it wasn't hard dating. due to your movie's success, you had been given around 6 months off. you were grateful for the time to rest, but more importantly, for the time to spend with your girlfriend. unfortunately, it seemed as if your lover was busier during those months than she had been all year. you two had spent a few weekends here and there together, but they were almost often interrupted by sudden meeting calls or other brand ambassador things that she had to do. 

you were a bit bummed that your lover was so busy, but you knew this is the life she had wanted and worked for, so you simply smiled and moved forward hoping that she could somehow catch a break.

it wasn't until 8 days before coachella, and only three weeks before your break was over, that you finally were able to spend the most time with rosé. 

if only you would have known that it would be the last time you and rosé would hang out.

-

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?" you asked as you rummaged through your luggage to find your missing black shoe.

when your question was met with silence, you looked up from the mess you were making and directed your gaze towards your girlfriend. rosé was currently sitting on the couch of your hotel, phone in hand and giggling softly at whatever she seemed to be looking at. 

“rosie?" 

you called her name, hoping this time to actually get her attention. yet unfortunately, your effort was in vain. you stood from your sitting position, holding both pairs of shoes in your hands.

brows furrowed, you stood a few feet in front of your girlfriend before trying once more to get her attention.

"chaeyoung."

the idol's eyes suddenly met yours, confusion laced across her features as she realized you were standing in front of her. "yes, love?" she replied, her accent ever so apparent as she spoke. mirroring her confusion, you raised an eyebrow before replying,"did you not hear me calling you?"  

your girlfriend sheepishly smiled before shaking her head lightly, "i'm sorry. what did you need?"  you held up your shoes and repeated your question from earlier.

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?"

rosé's eyes narrowed slightly before answering you. "the black ones." nodding at her answer, you set the other pair of shoes back onto the floor before walking over to her.

“why are you so distracted?” you tilted your head to the side as you looked down at her on the bed.

she smiled awkwardly before turning her phone off and looking up at you. “it was just something lisa sent to the groupchat.”

“can i see?” i smiled. “lisa sends the funniest ones.”

rosé’s smile faltered for a moment before she stood up and grabbed your hand. “we’re going to miss the sunset. lets go?”

the two of you walked along the beach in malibu, strawberry ice cream being shared as you walked. the ocean waves crashed along the shoreline, washing away your footprints in the sand.

“are you excited for your performance?” you asked softly as the california sunset painted a mural in the sky. shades of pink and orange casted a myriad of soft tones onto the both of you, but as beautiful as the sunset was, all you could focus on was how beautiful your girlfriend looked.

the soft golden light made her look even more ethereal. your lover’s features were always angelic, but nothing stood out to you more than her smile. 

she gave you a small smile and nodded, taking one of the spoons to take a bit of the strawberry ice cream in your hands. the comfortable silence lingered for a while, allowing for the two of you to simply enjoy the sounds of the ocean accompanied by each other’s presence.

“are you cold?” you asked her, noticing how the ocean breeze may be a bit too cool for your girlfriend’s liking. the other woman chuckled and nodded again. “just a little.” your girlfriend was not a fan of the cold too much, so once you got confirmation of her being cold, you started taking your jacket off to give it to her.

the idol only laughed at how it fit on her, which in turn made you laugh as well, and you couldn’t help but feel the love you had for her becoming more palpable. once the sun dipped over the ocean’s horizon, the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

cuddled up together under the sheets, the two of you relished each other’s presence as the dim light from the tv lit the otherwise darkened room. reruns of glee were playing, and you felt your heart flutter at the sound of rosé humming to a few of the songs. 

“sing me something.” you mumbled into her chest. “i love hearing your voice.” she smelled like a light, floral fragrance with notes of rose, jasmine, sandalwood, and amber. the perfect combination for someone so elegant and angelic. 

when you didn’t hear a response from her, you raised your head a little to see what she was doing. rosie’s chest vibrated as she chuckled, looking down at something on her phone, too occupied to notice your comment from a few moments earlier.

“rosie?” you said softly, trying to get her attention. however, once you did, she seemed a bit distracted. “yes babe?” the australian said with a chuckle, glancing between you and her phone that was now turned over on her lap. “sorry, did you say something?”

your head tilted to the side a little, a little curious as to this being the second time today that your lover seemed to be acting a bit odd. so you decided to ask her about it. “you seem a bit distracted today. is everything okay?” you asked gently.

the question clearly caught her off guard a little, and you swore you could have seen a bit of panic on her face. almost as if she knew how she was acting. almost as if, she had something to hide.

“oh have i? im sorry, i guess im still jet lagged.” she stuttered out, placing a hand on your cheek in an attempt to sooth your worries. except, you weren’t that clueless. you had been with rosie for a while now, and you knew how the idol acted when she was jet lagged. 

and this was definitely not it.

“rosie, can i see your phone?” you asked slowly, noticing how fidgety she got when you leaned in closer to her. the idol let out a forced laugh, looking at you as if you just asked her something so strange and random. “um, what for, babe?” she said in a tone hidden with something you could not really pin point. looking back on it, it was definitely fear.

“rosie.” you said a little firmly, staring into the idol’s eyes with a look of determination. “let me see it.” it was clear to both you and the superstar that you were not taking no for an answer. especially since roseanne had never seen such a look in your eyes before. it scared her, a little. 

you don’t remember much of what happened after that. all you remember is seeing some messages that broke your heart, hearing rosie stumbling over her words trying to explain what you just saw, and then the way you grabbed your suitcase and stormed out of the hotel room.

except, before you did, you remembered telling the idol one last thing.

with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision with watery opposition, you could see the way the girl you loved was begging for you to stay in the doorway. but you didn’t care. the damage was done, and it was too late now.

with a broken heart and crushed spirit, you told rosé one last sentence that would mark the end to your relationship.

“we’re done.”

-

now, it had been months since the breakup. it was heartbreaking for you to go through this. you never thought chaeyoung would cheat on you, especially after everything the two of you had been through. it also didn’t make things easier because of the media.

everyone wanted answers as to why the most popular couple in the entertainment world was now broken up, without any answers as to why. both your fans and rosie’s hounded the internet, taking jabs and picking sides in this breakup that shocked the world on both sides of the globe.

it also didn’t help that as the weeks went on, you saw the rumors circulating around your ex and her new lover. 

although you two had not spoken publicly about the breakup, it only being confirmed by your agencies instead, you couldn’t help but feel like this new woman rosé was with was the same woman she was texting that night at the hotel. nevertheless, you didn’t bother asking, especially at this point. 

you couldn’t even stand to listen to kpop anymore. the entire genre was ruined for you, because you couldn’t listen to kpop without listening to blackpink, of course. speaking of the other members, the girls had all reached out to you as well, saying that you were still family to them, and they would love to still keep in touch.

you didn’t bother replying to any of the three. it wasn’t that you didn’t care about the other girls, but rather that it hurt too much, and you no longer wanted anything to do with the australian or her members right now.

currently you laid in your bed, sheets tangled from your sleepless night prior and floor scattered with water bottles, tissues, and clothes. it was obvious to everyone around you that you were grieving. you were feeling ever single stage of grief, somehow all at the same time.

it also didn't help that every time you went on your phone, you saw new photos and updates about your ex and her new lover. you didn’t know much, other than that she was practically attached to the idol’s hip 24/7. overwhelmed with the stages of anger, denial, and bargaining, you got a bad idea. 

you reached over your pillow and pulled out your phone and decided to do a deep dive into this new woman that your ex girlfriend cheated on you with. it was a horrendous idea, that was for sure, but it was something you just couldn’t shove off anymore.

the new girl was another actress, making your pride hurt significantly.

“another actress?” you muttered under your breath and kept scrolling through the twitter updates. you knew rosé had secretly dated actresses in the past too, but you hated to think that you were just her type. it hurt your ego just as much as it hurt your heart. 

“suzy…bae?” you mumbled as you looked at pictures of this actress. she was beautiful, there was no doubt there. the woman was also a well known figure in the korean entertainment industry. it was no wonder why so many koreans were ecstatic about rosé’s sudden new love interest. 

you found yourself  looking through your ex’s instagram for the first time since the breakup. your relationship was private, but not secret, so there would be only a few photos of you and chaeyoung posted. 

well, not anymore, since upon further inspection, rosé clearly deleted all of them. it stung a little, but it wasn’t like you were expecting anything less. you two were broken up for a few months now.

except, as you scrolled through the pictures on her page, you couldn’t help but notice a few familiar places in some of them. 

there was one with the two eating ice cream on the beach in malibu, the same one you and chaeyoung had been to less than a year ago. there was one with them renting out a movie theater to watch glee, something you and rosie did for fun back when you were still together. there was even a video of rosie teaching suzy how to play “uptown girl” on the piano, a song you had once taught her how to play.

“i bet she tells her she loves her in between the chorus and the verse, too.” you whispered harshly, the stinging feeling growing in your chest as you kept on digging through the photos. it was only making you feel worse, but you couldn’t help but feel angry. 

was anything even real? did the soft spoken blonde that you loved ever truly love you? or was it all just a lie? 

you couldn’t help but wonder if everything you did with park chaeyoung was just recycled from her previous relationships, especially considering how she was reusing everything from yours. 

everything felt like a lie. tears slowly fell from your face, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. you wanted to scream and shout, to let the world know that roseanne cheated on you and was reusing everything with her new lover. except you wouldn’t do that to her.

you also wouldn’t do what she was doing to someone else, either. 

everyone is made up from the different pieces of the people they once loved, but to copy and paste the same memories over and over again led you to realize that maybe rosé never truly loved you. you were haunted by this thought from the moment you stormed out of the hotel room in california that night, but with this newfound information? 

it was hard to believe that it wasn’t true. but even still, with this heartache and pain swirling inside you, you couldn’t help but wonder if rosé felt no guilt or shame. did she not feel bad at all? did she miss what you had, or even, just you? when was rosie going to tell her that you two did all of that too? that everything suzy probably thought was “unique” about your ex girlfriend was all just reused?

but none of these thoughts compared to the biggest question that now burned in the front of your mind. it was one you couldn’t help but ask out loud. 

“do you get deja vu?”

[natashaslesbian]

I had this idea, not sure if it's odd as it's a love language I'm not sure is relatable. It would be a Natasha x Fem!Reader story. Reader has a seemingly useless power. Her nose grows longer whenever it's poked. Natasha is the only one that finds potential in her power. Natasha pokes reader's nose often to reach items too far from them or to disguise her nose as a tree branch or a flagpole. Reader admires Natasha for bringing the best out of her power. Oh, and in order to shrink her nose, Natasha has to kiss it.

I’m Not Pinocchio

A/N: this req was so cute and I hope I wrote it well! I have been so sick but wanted to get this out so it may not be my best it’s also not proofread :/

Word Count: 926

Parings (Natasha Romanoff x Reader) (Clint,Yelena,Sam,Tony x Reader

Warnings: None I believe

————

“Alright then” Tony said “this is a relatively low risk mission so I’m only sending a few of you” you sat back in your chair, hoping that Tony would therefore avoid choosing you “so Barton, Belova, Romanoff and Pinocchio, I’m gonna send you 4” the team giggled at your classic nickname, well everyone but Natasha. It might be easier for you to laugh along if the joke was actual good, Pinocchios nose grows when he lies, but yours just had to be poked. It was like Tony had found an easy way to call you a liar as well as useless. “If it’s low risk cant the three of us just go?” Clint asked “we don’t exactly need Pinocchio do we?” You huffed quietly “please can you stop calling me that” you said as politely as possible “hell nah! It suits you!” Sam laughed. “Y/n is a good fighter and she’s great at stealth, she’ll be a great addition on this mission” Natasha backed you up, you shyly smiled “all we have to do is get this flash drive, in an abandoned building, there’s not really gonna be anyone to fight. So three spies should be enough right?” Yelena chirped in. Natasha shot Yelena a look then mumbled something in Russian you couldn’t understand. Whatever it was had Yelena biting her tongue “ok fine she can come” Yelena sulked. “Then it’s settled” Tony said “you four go and suit up”

The mission was going well until it wasn’t. ‘Low risk’ you thought, this was anything but ‘low risk’. Apparently someone had tipped off the Hydra agents who returned to the abandoned building to retrieve the USB before you could. The agents came out of nowhere, from every angle. Clint and Yelena were further ahead, you and Natasha had an easy fight. Her superior skills next to yours meant you were able to quickly take down the 6 agents that had targeted you. “Romanoff! A little help!” Clint called, you rolled your eyes at his choice of not calling you to help. You soon realised though, they definitely needed your help too. A large group of agents had surrounded Yelena and Clint, the pair were struggling, being knocked down every few minutes. By the time you approached it was too late, the agents were blocking your three teammates seemingly not even noticing you were there. You were even useless to the enemies at this point. You did what you could, slowly the four of you began to take down the agents. When you finally broke through to find your teammates you were only met with Natasha frantically searching her surroundings “where’s Yelena and Clint?” You asked, Natasha turned to you with a small flinch, she calmed when she realised it was only you “they got them!” She said “they took them inside the place is completely barricaded!” Natasha had no idea what to do, you desperately needed back up but the area was so remote that even the highest quality Stark tech wasn’t working.

You both paced in silence for a few minuets, trying desperately to think of a way to get to your friends. This moment caused you deja vu, the two of you thinking of how you could get back on track. Last year in Berlin, a bridge you were supposed to cross collapsed. You had to get to the other side, you needed the key left behind by a former Hydra agent. Thanks to Natasha’s quick thinking, you were finally able to get it. She redhead came and poked your nose, seemingly out of the blue and much to your disappointment. For the first time you were able to use this curse of a power for something helpful and Natasha was never going to let you forget it, especially after you told her how your nose was to return to its usual state. You came back to reality and ran to Natasha’s side “I’ve got it!” You exclaimed.

“Ow Natasha!” You exclaimed “do you ever file your nails?” Her sharp fingertips were digging into your thin skin with each poke “I’m sorry” she almost giggled “just a few more then we should be able to reach it” the ‘it’ in question was a large keypad attached to the exposed brick wall. The land around the base had collapsed, revealing a large ravine much too dangerous to try and cross. Natasha knew that Clint had trick arrows that would aid the pairs journey back but they had to find them first. “Ok ok, we’re there!” The redhead exclaimed “now what?” You questioned “it’s not like I can type with my nose” you said “hey, you can do anything you put your mind to, you have a gift and I’ve seen you use it for so much good” Natasha began “you have?” You cut her off “I have” she smiled. A sudden banging broke your trance “is that them?” You said “must be” Natasha said.

“Ugh that was such hard work” Yelena rumbled with her Russian accent, Clint closely following behind, Natasha helping both of them up the last few rocks near Barton’s trick arrow “how did you guys open the door?” He asked “Pinocchio can actually be helpful” you shot at him with a side eye.

Natasha wasn’t just the cold hearted assassin she let everyone believe she was. She saw the best in you and later when you told her how you needed her to shrink your nose, she knew after the first kiss to your long nose, she was never letting you go

————

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hello, dear writer, thank you for tearing my heart apart once again 😭

No, seriously, thank you. It was painful in all the best ways. I hope you know how beautiful it is when writing elicit so much feelings.

I want to smack Astarion for how he hurts Rose, but I understand where it all comes from, and it still makes me want to shake him and yell "don't you love her?!" because damn. That's so manipulative, and so in character. Every time I go through that part of the game Astarion makes me furious with the same words, while I know why he wants it so badly, it just... Yeah. You captured so well the devastation and helplessness of someone who loves him deeply and wants what is the best for him, while he is blinded by the bleak prospect of possible power that was absent in his un-life... It hurts so good. Like the words Rose said were very similar to my own thinking when Astarion brought it up in act 3, and that brought me so much deja vu I had to step away and breathe out of frustration and need to scream how dumb he truly is. I mean, I love you, stupid fanged elf, but my god you are stupid.

It's so devastating. And so unfair to poor Rosalie. I mean, yeah, there is some truth to Astarion's words, about her not knowing much hardship, but as once I've read - you don't need to live through things to know about them. At some point it felt like Astarion wanted Rose to live through the things he lived through, and just... Ugh. I hope he will see how fucked up this was. He already gets it, once the haze of his anger fades I see. I have tears in my eyes as I think just how hurtful those words must feel for Rose. It was so cruel, but so Astarion. Bite where it hurts, and keep tearing it apart before they hurt you? Yeah. I understand that, but condemn it.

It was such a good chapter. After so long of fluff, I knew there will be something that will hurt me, and I wasn't wrong. As much as I want them to be happy, I know there will be a long, long journey to get there for both of them. And I'm here for it. Thank you.

bonjour anon, thank you so much for such a lovely message!!

I've had a lot of fun with actually thinking about An Honest Lie going forward, and what I want to do with it, because obviously I wrote A Bleeding Heart first in Early Access, and I was really pleased with it at the time, but it also has a three-act structure where a conflict is resolved, and then I just... continue on into Full Access gameplay lmao. Where problems get worse.

So what I decided was that, A Bleeding Heart doesn't fix Astarion, but Rosalie thinks it has. This is why it doesn't occur to her that he would want to do the ritual. Like yes, she has that autism justice sensitivity in her, but she meant it when she said 'we've literally done this before at Ethel's'. Astarion has started doing nice things for her specifically, so she thinks the problem and his worldview is fixed. But of course, when that kind of belief is so deeply ingrained in a person, it isn't a 'one conversation and it's done' kinda deal. Also, being nice to your girlfriend isn't the same as being lawful good lmao (not that Astarion will ever be lawful good, that is not the aim of the fic).

So A Bleeding Heart was 'I think I fixed him' and An Honest Lie is, 'well now the real work begins, and it's not going to be as easy as one sexy argument in a field' lol.

And thank you!! I know there's a tendency in fandom to either make Astarion wilfully awful or never having done anything wrong in his life, but neither of those are for me. I think he's just well-mastered in knowing how to hurt someone, and it's a cultivated skill rather than a predilection, because he's been hurt a lot so that's all he's been taught. And I think someone being incessantly nice to him but also not being able to empathise with either the temptation of power or the darker thoughts he will inevitably have, would trigger his desire to bring her down to his level. Not because he actually wants Rosalie to suffer, or know what it's like to feel that way, but he just wants her to actually know him properly, and be able to understand.

[anonymousotherworld]

LOVELY RUNNER THOUGHTS 2

— contains spoilers to the whole series! I'm thought process is all over the place, so this post is not structured properly. I'm just typing as I think of things. I also wrote this over several days, adding more things as I remember.

part 1

OMG I'm absolutely in love with Sunjae's loserism. bro's whipped for Sol regardless of when he meets her. him repeating the same dialogue in the 3 different timelines is wild (why are you crying? I didn't make you cry).

I really love the unspoken beef that Sol's mum & Sunjae's dad have. regardless of timeline, they've got some beef.

I'm really glad that Sol remained friends with Taesung. in the process of not crossing paths with Sunjae, she also lost her friendship with In Hyuk and it would've been really sad if she lost her friendship with Taesung too. it's nice to see that he ended up becoming a cop and ended the ill-fated relationship Sol had with the taxi driver. like bro accomplished the one thing Sol was trying to do for a whole 14 episode. I like to think that Taesung became a cop because of Sol's influence.

can we also appreciate the real mvp? Baek In Hyuk. imagine having to deal with BOTH Sunjae & Taesung who are stupid in love with Sol. his permenant 😟 face was so funny ngl.

big respect for Taesung for always respecting SolJae. he's always bickered with Sunjae but that was about it. I hope Taesung finds someone who'll love him the same way.

I wonder if Taesung knew that the "Sunjae" Sol would cry about whenever she got drunk was the famous Ryu Sunjae before he saw them together. if not, it definitely would have sunk in when he saw them together at Sunjae's apartment building.

also has anyone thought about the fact that ep 16 Sol has been alive for about 50 years? she was in her 30s during her first time travel and spent maybe a year in the past and then on the last time travel (where Sunjae doesn't meet Sol), she lived the full 15 years.

I wonder if the grandma was the one that allowed Sol to time travel. our first introduction to her, we see her wearing the watch. the 3rd time Sunjae dies, grandma's wearing the watch. the watch that Sunjae lost (according to InHyuk). she's the first to admit remembering the different timelines.

I wonder to SolJae meeting at the award ceremony was what caused Taesung to sort of remember the past. sort of because he doesn't actually remember, he just has conflicting feelings about Sol & having deja vu moments.

I also realised that the Im Geum x Hyunju side plot happened outside of the SolJae situation. they would've gotten together if Sol didn't get paralyzed. in the original timeline, Im Geum stepped up to be the responsible one but with Sol being well, in the final timeline he was able to pursue his acting dream. in the 2nd(?) future timeline, he was responsible because Hyunju didn't pursue a higher education and they got married immediately after she graduated. I'm guessing Sol convinced Hyunju to pursue a higher education and get a job with her in order to avoid having a situation where Hyunju has to rely on Im Geum (in the final timeline).

anyways, I'm finishing up this post about a week after I finished the drama and I think it's safe to say that this has taken the #1 spot for my favourite drama of 2024.

let's kidnap Sunjae and run

[imaginespazzi]

NIVIIIIII. Chapter 10 was released midday for me and I was doing everything I could to find time to read it. But I decided I wanted to be somewhere alone bc I knew I’d be screaming, crying, and throwing up (all in a good way ofc). But ANYWAYS, chapter 10 review time!

- Angie Davis = girl version of Anthony Davis from the Lakers?? LMAO I just wanna know why you chose this name / wanted to mirror AD 🤣

- P+A flirting in front of their teammates, but then thinking that they’re being secretive about it?? Literally everyone can see y’all eye fucking like tone it down guys 😭😭

- “You know,” Azzi begins softly when it becomes abundantly clear Paige isn’t going to speak first, “I’m okay with the fact that you’ve probably fucked other people. I mean other than the woman you married as well that is.” THIS MADE ME WHEEZE LMAO. It came from left field 😭 their convo back and forth was so THEM. You wrote it so well 😭

- “Hey,” Azzi pouts, “you always did go for younger women. Like me for example.” LOLLLL I have thought about this too and how Azzi is younger than Paige by a year, but Paige always knew what she wanted!

- I really am curious about what the whole Angie Davis debacle is… like besides them hooking up (and thank god they didn’t LMAO), idk how else her and Paige could’ve crossed paths considering that she’s barely entering the W as a 22 year old and Paige is 31 and has been in the league for a while now.

- DREWWWWW??? Oh my GOD I cannot even imagine 20 year old Drew 😭 Azzi saying that he’s so tall, and then him saying that she could’ve been there to see him grow up 😭 that killed me. I am SO excited to see more of the Azzi and Drew dynamic and how much resent Drew has for Azzi, and how quickly (hopefully) that goes away and he starts trusting her again.

- I also am curious about how Drew’s relationship with Paige is as well. I’m assuming it’s still strong, and that Drew doesn’t fault Paige much for the breakup. I think Drew blames Azzi 99% for it, and that Drew himself had a hard time seeing how Paige was after the breakup. Can’t imagine seeing how usually strong your sister is become a broken person bc the love of their life and someone you also trusted just decide to leave. (But I know Azzi has a good reasoning for it, and I can’t wait for her to explain it all!)

- DREW AND STEPHIE?? I’m glad that Drew isn’t jealous of Stephie right now, and actually seems to have a soft spot for her. It’s like Deja vu for him, that’s how Paige and Azzi treated him when he was small. Uncle Drew FTW!

- Also, Drew being in the NBA just makes so much sense. I know he’s a highlight reel!

- FUCKING AMAZING CHAPTER NIVI!! SO SO SO WORTH THE WAIT! You are spectacular and I hope you’re still fully enjoying writing this and that it’s a treat for you as well! Thanks for your service Nivi and for feeding us Pazzi (and Nivi) fans!

- Side note: Paige and Azzi (irl) make me sick… I’m still stuck on that TikTok of them that Paige recently uploaded… We get it, you guys are happy asf together, good for y’all 😭😭 (I’m actually not bitter at all and love them so much and are so happy for them)

Hi my love, I'm so glad you found time to read it and to leave your review <3

- LMAO that was unintentional because I lowkey just picked a name out of thin air but that's so funny so let's pretend that was my reasoning too

- They're so terrible at the secret part of secret relationship I have no idea why they're even trying

- Poor Paige fighting cougar allegations just cause Azzi had to make a point but that interaction was definitely fun to write.

- I'm assuming, just by writing style, that this was your ask and you figured out the Angie Davis connection? If it wasn't, whelp it's the correct explanation and lmao whoops.

- Honestly I have a hard time picturing a 20 year old Drew too (and it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out his age in 2033 lol) but it's gonna take him a little bit

- Yeah I don't think Drew particularly mad at Paige, at least not anymore. Especially because his resentment towards Azzi isn't just rooted in how she hurt his sister, but how she hurt him too.

- He's definitely not jealous of Stephie and to be fair it's very hard to be anything but adoring of her. In fact, I think he's actually feeling kind of protective of a child that could also become collateral damage (*nudge nudge*)

- Thank you my love! I do love writing this story no matter how much I whine. Like it's really my baby fr.

- Like Tessa said, they're kinda really disgusting huh?

[starlightwayfinder]

Are there any fics you'd love to write but just haven't had time to yet? (Or characters you'd love to write about but haven't had the chance?)

On a slightly different note: I also really loved your Thor comic, and I didn't know if you had like...any additional thoughts on it you'd like to share, haha.

My writer’s block has been… bad (but not for lack of trying on my part!)

I wrote 3000 words of a Terra fic, but something was off and I never quite figured it out. It’s still a premise I might come back to eventually, so I won’t give too much away, but I will say it involves him meeting Ansem the Wise. (And now I’m wondering if I could find a way to work Tron into the story too..hmm)

I also have a (mostly-finished) fic about Naminé and Roxas spending time with Hayner, Pence, and Olette post-KH3, but I honestly forgot about it until now..oops. 

I want to write another Halloween story this year, but the inspiration hasn’t hit me yet. We’ll see.

(I hope whatever possessed me after Dark Road’s finale comes back when ML comes out, haha. I’d love to be writing lots of short stories again!)

Yes!! Thor may have started as a joke character, but I have so many thoughts about him and that comic.

Like the Master says, Thor’s existence doesn’t change things too much. He tries to help Baldr after learning Hoder died, but doesn’t understand enough to stop him in time. His death doesn’t change much either, since Baldr fails to take thirteen lives either way. So really there’s just… one more person now. It’s not something the Master has to interfere with, but it’s enough to pique his curiosity. 

As people pointed out, the comic was pretty “meta”. I wouldn’t say the Master knows about us specifically, but he’s figured out that ‘fictional’ and ‘real’ worlds impact each other. Fictional things create emotions in real people, real people create emotions in fictional people. But no one seriously considers that impact, or the consequences of it. (And of course, everyone likes to think their side is the “real” one… In this scenario, it’s relative.)

I also have some random headcanons about Thor:

He sits in the front row next to Hermod, diagonal from Baldr (who would’ve liked to sit next to him, but never found a way to ask.) 

He got Keyblade armor along with the others before departing. His is gold and orange.

Since they were told to go in groups of three, there were some jokes about leaving Eraqus behind. (Eraqus gets very distressed thinking they’re going to go to the outside worlds without him!)

Interestingly, Thor is the only character who never teases Eraqus. It’s a nod to his  kind nature.

Thor and Eraqus are typically the cheeriest characters. When you pick Thor as a party member, the story has a slightly different vibe. 

He’s well liked by all of the other students: Studious enough to get along with Hermod and Urd, but playful enough to be friends with Eraqus and Vor. (And sensitive enough that Baldr and Xehanort don’t mind spending time with him either.) 

Everyone expects the heir is most likely going to be Vidar, Thor, or Eraqus.

The upper classmen try to recruit him, but like Urd, he refuses.

As far as everyone knows (Thor included), he’s been there the whole time. Occasionally Xehanort gets a slightly “off” feeling around him, but it disappears like deja vu and he never thinks much of it.

[ilkkawhat]

ten lines

tagged by the lovely @frozenmemories1987 💜💜

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

so I’ve only actually published one fic this year and my 2022 fics were very scattered so the term “recent” is a stretch here lol and I’m also cheating on a few of them since some first lines are just a little too short for any sort of idk. excitement about it?

1. Think About It

Greg hasn't seen Nick this riled up since the day Warrick died.

He tries not to even think about that day, or the day after, or the day after that, and especially not the funeral itself—but he can’t shake off the eerie sense, not of deja vu because this anger that he’s seen bubbling since he stormed into the lab after nearly getting brown up at his own house, rather it’s the apathy. The disregard for his own life, or maybe it’s instead born out of some sort of pride that he’s invincible, or something. He’s no longer the easy-to-scare, naïve, somewhat ignorant man that he met about eleven years ago.

2. The Stokes Family Christmas Chronicles, Chapter 6

It’s her first Christmas without a Santa Claus, and she’s never been more terrified in her life.

And she knows he’s not going to be around because she now knows who Santa really is.

It makes sense, really. Because who else would know what she really wants for Christmas, who would know if she really deserved it, besides her own father?

3. Sleepsong

He’s thought himself to be humble in his tenure as the man in the high chair, the power of the gavel nothing more than an extension of Lady Justice’s arm that holds the scale in balance. A power that’s never to be used and abused for personal gain.

4. Agony, Chapter 28

He had gotten used to darkness. So much so to the point where he would spend most of his time at home “unplugged.” 

He even thought that maybe he finally got emotionally unplugged too, when he found himself relieved to see the dead body of a grown woman wrapped up in a carpet, though perhaps it was because what both he and Sara had thought they would find, would be a whole lot worse.

5. Remind Me

It doesn’t crash down on him all at once. The day doesn’t even dawn, not until the end. It starts in the hospital, as a spectator watching an invisible struggle for survival, monitored and documented not unlike a case file.

6. The Stash

“Hey, Greggo, you got my results for the—”

Bursting into the DNA lab through a door that is normally open to all and especially Nick on the graveyard shift, he’s faced with a shock that the lab is empty at the busiest peak of their shift.

7. The Morning After

It’s as if every shed tear from every tantrum, every cry for his mother or father since his birth had finally caught up to him.

8. If Only (I cheated here because the opening of this fic is just straight dialogue from the show so I skipped to one of the first original lines I wrote)

That was the easiest decision, and the only decision he could make at the time. He could catch the stalker, or lose Nick.

But Nick sure as hell wouldn’t agree. The stubborn, thick-headed Texan is bound to whine the second he wakes up about it.

9. all we ever knew

“Gordon, you got a visitor.”

She feels stupid for the split second of hope that she was lied to, that the CSIs used her father’s death just as some sort of leverage into getting more information on that…Nick guy’s kidnapping. Maybe they managed to get the bomb off of her father, maybe there was no bomb at all.

10. I’m Yours

It’s been a year. Maybe more than that. Jack’s kept him so busy that he can see why the elder vampire has said that he’s lost track of time and doesn’t even know how old he really is—though he most definitely does.

He’s found that most vampires don’t seem to be too worried about their age, casually keeping track for bragging rights when rubbing it in the face of the “young ones” and also to express dominance in council meetings—but they find it within themselves to cherish the passing of time for an event that comes twice a year.

[cyarskaren52]

A lot of yall don’t want to admit it but the only reason the Meg/Tory situation was dragged out was because of TORY. He and his team constantly feeding the blogs bs. Megan spoke on it twice, in an interview and when she gave her testimony. The rest was him and his groupies

He caused his own demise of his career, his reputation, and freedom and it’s all his fault

and lets not forget he taunted her in his album/ music video in the most violent way.

oh and while im at it tory literally had PHONE CALL evidence against himself .. PROTECT BLACK WOMEN

since i see some of his goons are under my post he wrote “hot girl summer special” on the board in the back .. he’s guilty as sin yet yall having “deja vu”

oh and heres this ik alot of yall dwarf defenders aint read this and rely on rap blog posts in all bold black letter(biiich if you don’t get lubed up and get ready for your conjugal visit)

and lets not forget tory lanez was already on probation and he was going around with an unregistered g*n knowing hes canadian(in California, a state where there’s strict but fair gun control laws) he also violated the restraining order meg had against him by performing with dababy , and august alaina filed an assault charge against him

imagine a nigga shooting at you several times and you survive just for him to mock you and the world believes him

but go ahead and defend that sociopath, you’re the reason why he’s rotting in prison for ten years.

Good job meat suckers.

Your parents must have been proud meat suckers

I’m just being sarcastic

Anyways My goodness I genuinely pray for Megan's peace of mind and I hope he fails at everything when he gets out. but until then I’ll take pleasure knowing that bubba is making him a girlfriend in those prison showers he’s a b word anyway

[tsukuyomii45]

Hii againn 👋

I saw your papabito fanart and it's so cutee!!

And actually i got a mini scenario for them after seeing the arts and your headcanons. (I can't help not to think of them)

You said that their kids are aware (is this right?) About Obito's scar and single eye, and i had a image of how his kids would ask him about that.

His son, when he's about 5 or 6 years old, asked his father about his scared face and why he only had one eye. When they are training together, His son told him that he wanted to ask him about that from a long time, but he heard from Rin that he losing one of his eye and got his scared face when he was teenage but she didn't tell the detail, and that makes him afraid to ask his father directly, because that might reminds him of his trauma again.

But in the end he ask it anyway, and Obito only laughed when he heard that his son afraid to ask him that. At first Obito did hesitate to tell him, because that incident was a complete nightmare for him, but after Rin encourage him, he tells him anyway (but not the most traumatizing part, where his mom had to do an eye transplant for his father)

As for his daughter, when she's 4 or 5 years old, she asked the same question directly to Obito. They were playing that time, but when she's getting tired and sleepy, Obito picked her up and laid her on his chest, he pat her back gently, so she can sleep right away. But she didn't. She sat on top of his chest, and looked at her father's face, feeling curious about why his face is scared and he only had one eye. Obito give her a smile and a curious look as he saw her tilting her head.

Her tiny hand came up to touch his scar, and suddenly her eyesbrows were furrowed. She asked him.

"Papa, does it hurt?" She heard that her father had some injuries in the past, and one of it is his scar in the face. She concern that it hurts him. She didn't want her father to be hurt.

Obito smiled softly at her, as he saw a concern look in her eyes. She had the same look like her mother when she's worried with him. It made him deja vu for a bit.

"No, sweetie" he aswered, as he caressed her back soothingly.

After that she asked him carefully about it, and Obito would explain to her (again not the traumatizing part). After Obito finish telling her, she's got quiet for a moment before hug Obito, making him surprise for a bit. He chuckled then rub her back soothingly until she fell asleep.

Thats the mini scenario that i had after i read that headcanon.. hope you like it!

I think it's been a long time since i wrote this long LOL

And i got to say, this is pretty cute 😀

Hope we can see another Obirin interaction with their child! And actually i'm pretty curious about their interaction with mama Rin 😆

Since she will be type of mother like Hinata but also Sakura.

Oh also i wanted to talked about something, still related to their child. But maybe in the separate section.

See yaa! 👋

This was SO CUTE! I approve!! :D

The kids would know that Obito was a child soldier back in the Third Great Shinobi World War and that's when he got his injuries, but they will not know any further details (such as getting crushed, feeling like he's about to die..eye transplants...etc etc) because they're too young and it's too traumatizing for Obito to remember.

(TW!!) Obito still has PTSD when he's in tight spaces because of the boulder incident, so... yeah.

Their papa was a hero who wanted to save his friends, that's what they know. :D

I'm also trying to explore Mama Rin with the kids, I've got plenty of headcanons about Mama Rin and her personality. Soon all will be revealed, including the names of their children XDD

Thank you for sharing! Exploring ObiRin's children is always so fun! :3

[mrthoughtbubbles]

Today is an okay day for me, so far. Although my sister and mother had to talk me out of my paranoid thoughts twice today, I still feel happy that I got the chance to be with them. We talked about what we want to do in the future: sing karaoke, try bowling, hope to watch a circus or a play, or visit places we would like to visit.

Listening to the sound of rainfall for a couple of minutes helped me be calm, for a moment, and my sister told me that that should be my normal/default mode, since my normal mode for a very long time would be to be anxious and to try and cut the worst-case scenario/Deja vu dreams of mine from happening. We also talked about heartbreaks, parasocial relationships, and focus more on myself for now. We talked about what triggers my anxiety and paranoia, debunked them, and finally, we talked about Telegram, debunked why seeing about it a lot is triggering my paranoia. I don't know if I recovered my account, but I still have the same number and I used my usual e-mail. At first, I don't know why it wasn't listed in my accounts file, but I think it's probably because I created one before I created the file and used it a handful of times. I tried using either on 2022 or last year to listen to news from Uk*aine but I wasn't able to because my phone couldn't update anymore, and I couldn't use the app. I saw some of the news, but I couldn't open the videos of the fight nor could I scroll on the updates from previous days. That's what I can recall about it.

On another note, I tried studying the accounting book again and I finished the current chapter I'm in, and I just took a rest before continuing with my notes for the said chapter. There are times wherein I worry if I'm absorbing the process/steps taken by the writer of the book, but I'm hoping that I do... I'm okay with memorizing stuff, but when it comes to computing, that's where I really get anxious because I dread that I won't get the right answer, just like when I took my engineering degree and I felt that I couldn't get any right answers on any subject that has to compute for something, especially the calculus subjects or the electric current one... I remember that whenever I took the electric current tests, the professor would give you 5 pts if you wrote something in the said qustion and he'd give out 3 questions all the time. One time I only got 10 because I was spacing out with the load I took on that last term...

Reflecting on the reasons why I took engineering, I wanted to follow in my sister's footsteps. I look up to her on that regard, but I guess I should've chose a business-related course instead, if I had the chance of doing so. I'm not as detail-oriented like my sister and she has the patience to read stuff 3-5 times... However, that's life and I just have to live with my decision. I'm still grateful that I got to study the subjects I took, and hopefully, I'll still be able to use them in the future.

Reflecting more on who I was before and who I am now, I was someone who was angry and harboring a lot of hate whilst I was still really young, but when I was straightened out by a parent of a busmate of mine, I changed and instead of harboring hate, I tried to be friendly with everyone. High school was the happiest time in my life, so far, because I was friends with almost everyone and I was always laughing, nobody's shouting at me at home, and life's good. When college came, I became more cautious with befriending people because once they knew where I came from, they'd berate me and be passive-aggressive towards me, and up to this day, I still haven't gotten over that... After having my paranoid bout a couple of years ago, I'm trying not to get angry or to harbor hate because I'm already paranoid, nervous, and anxious and adding anger and hate to the mix isn't good for me... Looking back, although I don't like my current situation wherein I'm normally nervous, anxious, stressed and paranoid, trying to see it on a positive light, I'm not angry nor harboring hate as I used to before. I have a long way to go, but I hope that I'll be better.

With the things I'm grateful for today, I am grateful that my family is always there when I'm having a bout. I am grateful for the rain, even though I understand that a lot of my fellow countrymen/women are having a hard time right now... I am grateful for the knowledge I'm absorbing. I am grateful for the food, the utilities, and the roof on top of our head. I am grateful that even though there are trials and tribulations in life, I still pray to God to take care of everyone and to thank Him for everything around us. Although I don't go to mass, I pray every night to Him and talking to Him like I'm talking to a friend. Somehow, after praying, I feel lighter and I feel happy.

[pixeldistractions]

The community arts center in Evergreen Harbor was a popular destination in the neighborhood, but Maria had never found the time to go. There was always some excuse to claim for why she was too busy. She worked four days a week, and she obviously had Johanna to care for all on her own. Nobody could claim that she wasn’t busy. But her sister suggested that she should experiment with some new hobbies and try to find something more than work and motherhood (and pining over her man) to do with herself. 

So they went to the arts center one morning. There was a children’s program for Johanna, and Maria browsed through some of the adult offerings. 

She really had high hopes for the wine-making class. Wine was delightful, and Maria had Italian heritage and culinary inclinations. Surely this should be a good fit! 

But then she remembered that she was also squeamish. Somehow she never thought very deeply about how wine was made. But now, flat on her ass in a barrel of sloppy fruit, she didn’t think she’d ever see wine the same way again. 

She finished making the bottle. It was terrible—her butt was in it, after all—but at least she could say that she tried something new. 

She would keep wine-making on the back burner while she looked at some of the other classes. 

Flower arranging? Now this was definitively not gross (unless she found a bug, then she’d be out!). But she was also not very good at it, and the arrangement turned out terrible. How hard could it be to stick a bunch of flowers in a vase and make it look pretty? Very hard, apparently. 

Now she felt like a failure all around on top of having sticky “feet juice” all over her clothes.  

This was why she felt it totally acceptable to take herself back home, sit by the phone, and pine over her damn man. 

And that was exactly what she did. 

But, you see, about that man—Jordan wasn’t having the best time out there, either. He told her all about his falls, scrapes, bruises, sunburn, and a possible fractured wrist. He was lonely, tired, sad, sore, and yet, he didn’t quit. He may have thought about it in some particularly down moments. He may have weighed up the pros and cons. Yet he was still out there, climbing and climbing, against all odds.

So when he called later, when he asked her how the wine-making class went, how could she tell him that she tried once and quit over a little goopy mess on her clothes? He wouldn’t judge her, and he might even find it endearing, her being such a delicate little princess. She did wish for him to find her endearing, but she didn’t want him to think of her as a quitter. Because she wasn’t one. 

So she went again. She tried again. She put the sloppy fruit out of her mind, and this time, it didn’t bother her too much. It wasn’t so bad.

Then, when Jordan called her that night, she would get to tell him that she tried again.

The wine still tasted like shit, but that didn’t disappoint her. Somehow, it only felt like a challenge.

— from “boxes and squares #4.2: “then have some faith” (1/5)

story note: you are not experiencing deja vu! Sorry to make you read this scene again. I first wrote it as a little off-story piece. Not non-canon exactly, but just a little drabble. But then I decided that it belonged in the “official” story. So here we are again! With a little more depth this time. 🙃

and a little gameplay note: Maria is taking “nectar-making” in the culinary category for her second aspiration, besides her “big happy family.” <- since that one takes about a whole freaking lifetime to complete! And as for the negative moodlets, I’m happy to see they don’t happen every time. I guess we’ll just have to keep her stocked up with other happy moodlets to overpower the ick factor, lol!

Next ->

[justanechoflower-ddlc]

(Classic misreading on Flowey’s part. I guess it’s harder to read people when you haven’t reloaded and seen their responses to everything over and over again. If only he knew Yuri still didn’t know about the game, and that this was about change in general, not about grudges. It’s the future that was described as sickening by the narrator, not the past! And Yuri literally just went over how it’d be better to move on anyway. Plus Yuri hasn’t tried to kill Monika yet, so that should be a big hint she either doesn’t know, or doesn’t hold that kind of grudge… so as long as Flowey doesn’t let slip he’s killed people, he’ll be fine… If he does though he’ll look like a murderer and she’ll think everyone Flowey killed is still dead. But it should be easy to not talk about the times he killed people! And better for him, if he specifically says he killed monsters, it’ll be assumed he was talking about killing monsters in a game he played, since monsters aren’t real in DDLC’s world. Just don’t say you killed PEOPLE, Flowey. And the poem’s message is about the “ghost” only comforting herself with the past when progress changes everything, and the fear of change that comes from the future. And as Yuri points out, it’s better off to move on from the old past, as it’s fading away anyway. And it’s not as bad as it looks. The future tends to be better than the past. It just takes getting used to.)

(But I guess this is what happens when someone used to having hundreds of resets of experience meets new people in a new world.)

(And yeah fair enough. If it turns out I’m still wrong I’ll just blame it on it being a variant, and if I do catch an error, it‘ll come into play when the metanarrative of this not technically being the actual game becomes more relevant.)

*Monika’s currently “reading” the poem as well. Mostly as an excuse to who she seems focused on something…*

#Well… for all Natsuki and Yuri are concerned, Mt. Ebott doesn’t exist. But fair enough, we can pass it off as you saying you’ll find some other way to be rich to hire people when you’re president. Anyway, since you said you WILL be rich, implying you’re not YET, I’d say you can bring the gold once you’ve “became rich”. There’s a reason why I haven’t been spawning in gold myself… although I’m not sure whether or not the gold will even end up here… your game treats gold as some abstract quantity… I guess that’s up to the exact relation between our games… and however the magic this ”Nat” person that helped turn you human works… And in case you wondering, no, I can’t just give you the kind of gold in Undertale. Because of that issue with your game being written in a different language than my game, this game’s console isn’t compatible with your file, so I can’t just add 1 million gold to your inventory… I can’t edit your file at all, actually. I can only move it around, copy it, like I did to make your backup… that’s about it.

#As for Yuri knowing the truth anyway… Hmm… You know, I can see why you’d think that. I mean, in your world, there’s deja-vu moments where even those who don’t have the ability to reset still feel like they can remember previous moments. But, well, she’s still engaging with the literature club as much as usual, and she was fine with me coming to the club. I don’t think that’s what’s going on… I find it rather unlikely she worked it out when we never mentioned this being a game or anything close to that, even as a joke, and shows no signs whatsoever of knowing, or even that she doesn’t like me or Sayori. Also, this is the same poem she wrote in the first timeline, well before Sayori had the epiphany, and before I got anyone killed. Although I do understand your worry… because it would be bad news if she knew, didn’t like me and Sayori, and for whatever reason is pretending she does like us and there’s nothing wrong…

Monika:I do hope the future will prove to be better than it looks. I’m confident it will, you did point out how that’d generally the case.

Sayori:Monika’s right! We have a new club member, the one who inspired this club, and she’s amazing!

Natsuki:Maybe you guys shouldn’t assume the narrator is supposed to be Yuri herself?! But hey, if it’s true, yeah, I have to agree. Though what past memory or change could this even be about anyway? I don’t think the narrator’s Yuri, any more than the narrator of Amy Likes Spiders is me!

Yuri:Who the narrator is? I didn’t think much of that. It could be anyone who‘s nostalgic and sees what the times they remember fading away into the terrifying future… But as I said before, that’s an unstable way of living. If you keep trying to live in the comfort of the past, when the past is fading away, eventually there’ll be nothing left. The future may be different, but it has its own good parts. And as Monika pointed out, the future tends to be better than the past, even if we don’t think so. I do appreciate your words of encouragement regardless. Even I sometimes fall pray to nostalgic thinking, after all…

(Yep, Yuri assumed “Buttercup” got it right and didn’t mean something completely different. The signs point to the truth, but it’s still possible for someone to see it as Yuri brushing aside the problem… even though that’s not what’s going on... While it’d be ironic if Flowey turned his fears into a self-fulfilling prophecy, I don’t feel like being THAT mean to Flowey, Monika, and Sayori… and besides, there are much more seemingly reasonable explanations on why he didn’t include Natsuki on the list of people who hoped Yuri could move on than “Buttercup, Monika and Sayori all did something really bad and Buttercup is hoping I stop being mad at them.” Like “Sayori and Monika seemed most supportive this meeting so Buttercup’s most likely to send hopes in their name than Natsuki’s.”)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

/#It’s annoying to think I was so wrong! That never happens. Yet at the same time I guess it’s better to be wrong in this case… we still have to reveal everything eventually. The only problem is to figure out how to break the news gently.

(As tempting as it is to see what would happen if Flowey did give them away, that would be a lot of trouble I am not willing to figure out how to solve. So he won’t be slipping up with his words too bad as far as I am planning and more importantly he will definitely not be trying to murder anyone for precaution especially now considering that he understands there is no threat.)

(Also I find it kinda funny how Monika and Sayori have already been “all-powerful beings who control the whole school.” just in a different way than he’s trying to say, lol. I only meant originally to make Flowey sound dramatic and over-hyping everything about his evil master plan, but it turns out to be not so far off after all!)

[dec152016]

I dont remember the exact date, but I do know our "formal introduction" was around this time almost 12 years ago.

I forgot about the meeting itself for a while but the impact it had on me and who I am was so profound, to take that night from me would make me into a different person entirely, so I wanted to talk about it a little on here, that's really what this blog is for

for some context: I was living in a motel (sunrise inn) and I was at that age where reality was starting to chip at all of that childlike wonder and wide eyed naivety that makes those primary school years so special.

that night in particular was a big point for me because I was realizing a lot about my life. How lonely it was. I had an interaction where I realized how invisible I was to the people around me. Resentful that they were obligated to take care of me. it felt like a part of me died with that. it was like my heart gave up. (typing that made other members if my family make a little more sense) the last thought on my mind as I fell asleep were about not making it to school in the morning. about how easy it would be to walk Into the highway the inn was off of.

The dream started with just me and Uriel, she explained to me that just because my family didnt love me didnt mean I was unlovable

I dont remember too much

but I remember You there, and the way your eyes glowed, like they were bioluminescent

and I remember hearing my name for the first time and being like "that's MUCH better" (I hadn't taken issue with the name i was using before that but it didnt sit right with me after)

by the time I woke up my heart and spirit were resurrected and then some, with little more than a new hope that roared inside me like the sun which to this day I hold onto like a scared child with their teddy bear and the sense that the constant barrage of shit I was living through was a sacrifice I was making so I could have a good life when I got older. (also a fixation on the pokemon protag)

the dream drifted into the aether like most dreams do, aside from a moment later in the day of deja vu where I was reminded of just you and I had to take a quick break from cutting out the paper bat to smile to myself. that was the first time I wrote anything other than my legal name on anything.