#also when i say beautiful woman answer i always worry my beautiful women mutuals which is most of you will pick that. its just the me option

[nicka-nell]

A heartbreaking break-up

Pairing: Ukai x reader, Kuroo x reader

Warning: Ukai angst, mention of cheating, mention of break-up, mention of alcohol

Note: You don’t have to read the first part to understand/read the second part

Summary part 1: Ukai and you had a secret relationship when you were his student, but after your graduation, you were officially a couple for years until Ukai had cheated on you with the new gym teacher.

It’s been five years since he didn’t see you. Five years in which a lot has happened. 

The affair didn’t get around the school, but enough people knew about it. Your friends, who used to be his too back then. His family, who used to be yours, still is.

He hates himself for pressing his dick into that stupid woman. For thinking this one time with his cock against the will of his heart. You fought, reconciled, but you were still hurt. 

You both distanced yourself because he realized he wasn’t good enough for you. That you’d probably be happier with another man. He had distanced himself to think about how he could make you the happiest woman in the world without letting you go. Without losing you.

But by doing so, you had only spaced apart yourself from him, were insecure and didn’t know if he really loved you anymore. Hardly have you talked, only occasionally a kiss, no caresses. The last time you had sex, he didn’t know.

Was it his offended ego that had led him to the flirtation of this annoying woman, back then? Did he want to prove to himself that he could still make women happy? He doesn’t know, he just knows it was a mistake, his mistake. That he will never forget your broken look, which gives him a sting in his heart to this day.

Since these 5 years a lot has happened… 

This gym teacher is no longer there. Left after Ukai told her that everything was just a stupid mistake, he has no feelings for her. Your mutual friends distance themselves more and more from him. Only Mr Takeda was at his side. His family blamed him right to do so.

He withdrew even more, stopped dying his hair. As soon as his hair was dark again, the first grey strands came. His skin became more wrinkled by smoking more often. Unclean by all the alcohol and sleeping pills he needed in the evening to lull himself to sleep.

He misses you every second. When you get up, your warmth is missing when his eyes open, your heated smile isn’t there. Your voice telling him to get up. Drinking coffee together, cooking food, laughing, arguing, kissing everything. All holidays are empty without you. Useless, since he can’t spend it with you. Everything hurts, he misses you.

You still never answered his messages. He’s still trying to imagine your smile, but he can’t. It has faded away.

Thoughtfully he wanders through the city, his one hand buried in his sweater, while the other holds a heavy bag full of alcohol. It’s been a long time since he traded his expensive, good-tasting whiskey for a cheap one. One that is affordable with this extensive amount of alcohol consumption.

His class is in extra training with the other schools. Because the spring tournament is coming up again soon and they train diligently with the other classes. Today they are at Nekoma High School.

He remembers well how the guys from this volleyball club stared at you. They were all kind of in love with you back then, but you only had eyes for Ukai. Yet, he only smiles for a tiny moment when he sees a face so familiar to him out of the corner of his eye and puts his heart in restlessness. Your face.

You look much more mature than 5 years ago, your face is full of youth, even though you have aged. Even if he hadn’t seen you for ages, and now he can only see your face through the flowers in front of you, he’s sure it’s you.

Smiling, you sit on the terrace of a café, looking into the distance, while you use your hands to settle your head on them. You look so incredibly beautiful. His body is stiff, yet he wants to see you, but his body just doesn’t move. He wants to hear your voice, see your laugh, laugh with you like old times.

But his joy of seeing you again fades, and instead a bittersweet feeling spreads in him as he sees you rising, waving toward a man. He doesn’t know what tears his heart more into a thousand pieces...

Your wonderful body, with this just so visible baby belly, or the man who nuzzles you lovingly on the cheek, kisses you, while the child in his hands reaches out and wants to you. A child. Your child, not his.

It’s a boy, his eyes are yours, his hair an exact picture of his father. Black and tangled in all directions. It’s like he just got up. The boy is from the man who’s had his eye on you before. His smirk is the same as his father’s. That could have been Ukais and your child. The child he would have wanted with you.

“Here, the drink’s from the man over there.” The bartender grins at you as he pushes a red cocktail towards you and looks to the side. Even your gaze wanders to the side when you see a man in a suit holding up his glass smirking, as if he wants to toast with you.

With a smile on your lips, you shake your head, turn to your cocktail as you hear his voice loud in your ears. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, kitten.” Your shoulders are shrugging as you realize that the man is now standing right next to you, knocking his glass against yours.

“Kuroo, right?” You ask, even though you already know the answer. Kuroo Tetsurou, former captain of the Nekoma Volleyball Club. “I’m glad you remember me. Mind if I join you?” Nodding, you watch him place himself next to you and lay down, his head in his hand, his elbow on the mahogany bar below him.

“You look sad, kitten.” Is all he says, yet his mischievous smirk won’t leave his lips. Again and again you had read Ukai’s messages, wanted to answer him, deleted your answer always. “I’ve had an annoying breakup. And now I’m here, spending my Valentine’s Day in a bar, alone, letting an old school friend Tsukki’s talk to me.” 

There’s so much irony and sadness in your voice, one more reason for Kuroo to make you laugh. Back then, he found you interesting and wanted to invite you on a date. “You’re probably forgetting you’re sitting here with the hot guy you gave the wrong number when he asked you for it.” 

Embarrassed, you think back to that time. In fact, Kuroo had asked you for your number, was totally embarrassed and completely different from the volleyball games. But at that time you were with Ukai, so you only gave him one number that you had thought up, hoping not to see him again anyway, since this was your last year at Karasuno High School.

“Ups… Yeah right… Sorry about that.” But Kuroo just laughs, ruffles your hair and looks at you. “As you should be. Did you know that number existed? I spent weeks writing with a 78-year-old woman, showing her my muscular bare chest until we met, and I realized that you must have jumped into a time machine.” 

Now you feel even more sorry for him. So much that you look at him apologetically and start laughing. Finally. “You’re looking much better this way, Y/n.” He’s just saying while he’s sipping on his drink.

You two are in the bar for a long time until you’re kicked out. It’s been a long time since you had such a pleasant laugh. This time you give him your real number, and this time he asks if it’s really your number, because he doesn’t want to end up with a serial killer in pieces.

But you just laugh, take his cell phone and call the number you gave him to show him your vibrating phone on which his number lights up. 

You’re writing until night in the next few days. Keep calling until one of you falls asleep and meets more and more often. So many times until you get together.

Every week he brings you fresh flowers. You cook together in the evening and enjoy every second you two have. So it is no wonder that after only two years you wore a ring on your finger, with the inscription of your names and the date of the wedding. It’s no surprise that after three years, your son was born, and Kuroo and you were even happier than you were anyway. Also, it was no surprise that you have been pregnant again for a few months, this time expecting a little girl which Kuroo will treat like his little princess, you like his queen. He makes you happy, incredibly happy.

Your child is now tucked in a thick blanket in a stroller. You start pushing the stroller as Kuroo snatches his hands from behind around you to grab the handle of the stroller and hold you captive between his arms. Cheerfully you laugh as he gives you a kiss on the crown and you move further and further away from Ukai.

So Kuroo Tetsurou was the man who gave you what Ukai could never give you. Sincere love.

For a moment, he’s thinking about following you. He can still remember when Hinata said that Kuroo had bought a huge house. From the description, Ukai knew where that was. It was in one of the high-class neighborhoods. But should he really follow you? Should he lose his heart completely?

“Excuse me, sir, are you all right?” Fetch him a voice from a young man who looks at him anxiously. “Yes… Yeah, I was just thinking. Thank you for your concern.” He bows, thanking the young man who still goes on with a worried face. Ukai also goes on.

Unconsciously, his legs carry him to the neighborhood he thought of earlier, to the house that Hinata had described. He looks at the letterbox placed at the entrance of your gate. 

The Kuroo family…

A thick lump forms in his throat, his heart aches bitterly and his hand that holds the bag full of alcohol trembles terribly. With a sad look, he stares into the window where he sees you together with Kuroo.

Tightly wrapped you both dance in your large but cozy living room. Your head on his chest while his hand is on your lower back, the other in your hand. That’s what you used to do back then. Dancing together with quiet music.

He gently turns your body, now presses his upper body against your back, softly places his head in the crook of your neck to cuddle it. His hands stroke the bulge of your belly. The life that’s in you. 

From a distance, Ukai can still recognize the words that Kuroo forms with his lips.

I love you. 

Words that Ukai would still like to tell you every day. Words he means as they are. But you don’t love him anymore. You’re not his songbird anymore.

He’s standing there for a long time, trying to absorb all your joyful expressions one last time. Manifesting them in his mind, because he knows he’ll never see you again. That this is the last time he’s here. That your smiling face will be the last thing he wants to see before he closes his eyes.

He wants to write to you...

I saw you today… you weren’t alone. You had a kid on your arm and a man on your side. It makes me happy… that you found your happiness. Even if it’s without me. Nevertheless, Y/n… I love you, I always did and always will do for the rest of my life...

But the message he wants to send you before he closes his eyes, he never sent. It remains in his draft forever. Makes you think he’s finally forgotten you.

[bobbys-naughty-corner]

Bokuto x reader (I heard it was HOEVEMBER. y’all not ready for this.)

Warning: NSFW 18+

After school tutor

“YN please! I really need you to tutor me you’re the smartest in our grade!” Bokuto pleaded to you. You sat in your seat with your head down. It was currently lunch time but for you, nap time. Bokuto had came over with his lunch as an offering. “I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” You declined him. It honestly wasn’t. He was your very first crush, still is actually. You may be a smart, beautiful woman but you geek out over him like a weeb attracted to Miku. “Please please please YN. Akaashi already declined me and I wouldn’t not can’t ask anyone else. You’ve always been there for me. I just need a month. I’ll come to you to make it more convenient.” He grabbed your hand which in turn made you blush. “I-I have to ask my mom.” You lied to him. “So that means yes?” He knew it was a yes. His mother was friends with your mother and you usually spent vacations with each other. “If she says yes.” You told him pulling your hand away. It hurt to do but you couldn’t hold his hand forever. He hugged you over the desk making it scoot back some nearly crushing you. “Thank you! I’ll come by later. Don’t fall asleep in me!” He grabbed his lunch and left your classroom. Bastard. All your classmates stared at you. One of your mutual friends came up to you. “Did he just ask you out?” She asked trying to start a rumor or little gossip. “Um, no.” You averted your eyes and tried to pretend you were fixing your skirt. “Aww look at that little blush. You like him don’t cha? Don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” She leaned in close. “No no that’s not it. He asked if I can tutor him. Our parents are friends so he’s known me for a long time so I guess he felt I was the next best choice in order to pick his grades up.” She leaned back, bummed out that you didn’t answer her last question. “Who did he ask first?” She asked you. “Akaashi.” She bursted out laughing. “That’s so rude of him. To ask you right after asking someone already. You should’ve been the first person he came to. Akaashi is smart and all but you’re way smarter. What a jerk, doesn’t he know a thing about ‘Lady’s first’?” She folded her arms. “I don’t think that’s ho it works.” You said softly. She didn’t hear you of course. “You should’ve said no. Let him learn his lesson that way. You’re too nice YN. You don’t know how to say ‘no’. One of these days you’re going to agree to the wrong thing and I wish you luck. Here you can have one of my rice balls. Does your mother not make you lunch?” She asked putting the little ball on a napkin and handing it to me. “No. I usually make my own lunch but I seem to always forget it at home.” You took a bite of the rice and nearly wanted to throw up. “Well I make my own food too. It taste great. I watch cooking shows with my dad. He’s a chef.” You slowly spit the food back into the napkin as she continued to talk. You looked around for somewhere to throw it out. “I saw this recipe and I had to try it. Everyone on the television loved it so why wouldn’t I?” She looked up and you put it in your lap and pretended to be on your last bite. “It was really delicious, I devoured it.” You wiped your mouth and she was about to offer you another one but someone came through the doors being loud. It was Bokuto, he was back with a plate of food. Your mouth nearly watered at it. His mother’s cooking was so good but he didn’t always bring food from him so this was really special. You could smell it. “Here, I promised you food.” He took the napkin out of your hand and set the food in front of you. He pulled up a chair beside you and watched you actually devour the meal. “So YN says you asked her to tutor you? But she also said she was your second choice. Now to me that doesn’t sound right. She’s the smartest in our grade but you ask your friend first.” She said taking a bite of her food and tried to hold back a gag. “Well I know how busy she is. So I didn’t bother asking her at first. But that doesn’t seem like it’s any of your business.” Bokuto was a secret smart mouth. He could hoesntly roast someone and not even know he was doing it.

He leaned in your ear and whispered to you. “Don’t go around telling everyone your business.” He said. Your friend didn’t notice as she was trying to spit her food out without looking gross. You nodded your head at him with a mouth full of food. He licked his thumb and swiped off whatever it was on your face. Oh dear God, you cried in your head. He leaned back to your ear and whispered: “I’ll see you tonight.” He left with a wink and continued being his loud self. When your friend finally looked up she saw the embarrassment in your face.

After school

It was nearly 9 pm and Bokuto has yet to show. Suddenly your door bell rings. You jump up and close your journal stuffing it under your bed. You headed to the door and cooled yourself down before opening the door. “Hi Bokuto. I was just thinking that you was gonna skip your first study night.” You joked. He walked in and took his shoes off putting on his house shoes that you brought for him. “Miss a night with you? I wouldn’t ditch an opportunity like that.” Opportunity? He walked into your room with his book bag and you trailed behind him. He tossed his bag on he floor and plopped on your bed. “You’re going to take a nap? Was it a long practice?” You asked him. You stood next to his legs watching him as he laid back on your bed. Suddenly he pulled you towards him and flipped you over. You stared at him, taken back by his actions. “Would you be mad if I kissed you?” He asked. You furrowed your brows in confusion. A kiss from Bokuto. Oh my heart could sing. “I mean it’s just a kiss. I wouldn’t be mad at that.” (Unless they have herpes.) you told him. His lips attacked yours in a dominate kiss. He shoved his tongue in your mouth and let his hands feel all over your body. He pulled up your shirt and ogled your nonbound breast. “Bigger than I thought.” He said. You instinctively covered yourself with your arms. “B-Bokuto! What are you doing?! You’re here to s-study!” You stuttered, embarrassed that he saw your chest. “I lied. YN we’ve been close since elementary school. My feelings for you started growing, differently than just being friends. And I know you like me too. I’ve read your journal before and you have a lot of interesting things in there. For example,” “STOP!” You yelled at him. “I get it. We like each other.” “No we love each other. YN I cannot picture myself with any other women. You will be my one and only.” He said moving your arms. “That’s nice an all but do we have to do this now?” You asked. He gave you the are you serious look. “YN ive seen you describe worst scenarios in that dirty journal of yours. I know what you like and don’t like. Trust me. In fact I bet you’ll be begging for more” you couldn’t deny him. Not that you wanted to. He was right and you didn’t mind that. He kissed both of your nipples and fumbled with the strings of your sweatpants. Was he going to do everything himself. You pulled off your shirt completely and pushed him on his ass. As you began to pull off your bottoms Bokuto took off his shirt as well. You stood and took the rest of your pants off with your feet. “My God YN you really have changed.” He rubbed your ass and bit his lip. You knelt down and pulled his shorts down. You gawked at the black trail from his stomach attached to his pubic hair as you kept pulling down his shorts. Your mouth nearly watered at the sight of his base, as you kept pulling down there was more. Wtf 😬. “How do you hide all this?” You asked so confused how it fits into his volleyball shorts. He chuckled, “it’s a mans secret.” When his shorts hit the ground your hand moved to his length. He was semi-erect. You pushed his dick up against his abs and the sight of his hard length against his stomach made you drool. Not in your mouth though. You sat up from your relaxed position and put his tip against your mouth. Your tongue gently licked the tip, getting a slight taste of the skin. You hovered your mouth over him and let saliva drip down from your mouth onto his cock. “You’re really sexy baby.” He said. Nearly groaning at the sight of you below him about to suck the soul out of him. Yeah you knew what you were doing. Whenever you watched porn you’d practice on your dildo that was in your locked dresser. You licked from his balls to his tip causing him to shudder. “You’re so big. I don’t know if it can fit all the way in my mouth.” You praised him, admiring his tall member. Your right hand slowly stroking it as you pushed some hair behind your ear and stared at his glistening member enticingly. “Just take in what you can.” He told you, putting a hand in my curls.

His hand was gentle but still nudged me forward. He was eager to know what it feels like having my lips around his cock. I want to know what he taste like. Probably a salty caramel. After a while of stroking him, Bokuto got tired of the teasing and tugged my face forward harshly. Impatiently telling me to hurry up. Taking his warning into consideration I opened my mouth and stuffed a mouth full of him in my wet oral cavern. Bokuto groaned and massaged my scalp. He didn’t have a taste I expected. It was like sweat with soap. 🤨. Slowly bringing my head up and down on his length as he groaned through his teeth and cussed every few minutes. I lazily let my teeth graze his length and he hissed. Saliva pooling around my mouth, glossing my lips and his dick. Bubbles littering his dick as my saliva got thicker and mixed with his leaking cum. He shoved my head down further a couple of times making me gag and pushed his hips back. Tears threatening to slide down my cheeks scared of the suffocation from his dick. But he didn’t seem to care as he gripped my hair tightly and fucked my mouth. His hips hitting my cheeks, my nose and mouth rubbing his pubic hair while his balls hit my chin. My eyes stared up at him pleading for him to stop. Gags, gurgles and muffled moans/screams emitting from me while he complimented on how hot I look. His left hand under my jaw and his right hand gripping my scalp as his cock pushed passed my uvula. He bit his bottom lip as we both stared at each other’s eyes. His face was so captivating, I’ve never seen him show such a dirty expression. I tasted something super salty and he yanked my head back and stroked himself in front of my face spraying his cum on my lips, cheeks and nose. I whined at the mess. He put a thumb in my mouth and let the last of his cum land on my tongue. Bokuto breathed heavily as he stared at me. His thumb playing with my canines. After a while of sitting on my knees while he just stared at me quietly, I got up and climbed into his lap. “Damn, you really had me speechless.” He finally spoke snapping out of his trance giving me a kiss. Bokuto shifted us on the bed and laid me on my back. He trailed kisses down my body, from my neck to my collar bone. Collar bone to my breast to which he sucked on gently and tweaked with his fingers. Dragging his tongue down my abdomen to my little bush. I jumped at the new visitor. He hiked my legs up and made me hold them back. He played with my folds, stunned at how wet and sticky I already was. “Wow. Every inch of you is just absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to see you squirming and crying from my tongue. Soon I’ll have you screaming and cumming on my dick too.” His words had a serious effect on me. I felt my body heat up even more and I can feel myself leak more. He hasn’t even touched me ‘properly’ yet. “Oh you like to hear that. I’ll talk you through it then. Since this is your first time. I don’t want you to be lost or confused.” He moved up leaning his forehead against mine. His hand cupping my coochie lightly teasing my hole. “Do you mind if I start?” He asked keeping my eyes locked on him and his finger was waiting on in my answer. “Y-yes.” I nodded my head along with my answer. His finger slowly entered and I flinched slightly. I never played with my hole out of fear of the pain. But now with Bokuto doing it, it actually didn’t hurt. It was uncomfortable and weird but I’m sure I would get used to it. “How does that feel babe?” He asked me. My eyes snapped from his chest to his face. “It’s weird. I’ve never fingered myself but I’m getting into it.” I told him truthfully. Bokuto smiled and kissed my cheek watching how I reacted to each little move of his finger. When he rubbed against my walls my body would jolt at the feeling, when he sped up I would moan and when his thumb rubbed my clit I would groan. Everything he was doing was pleasurable. “I see you’re liking my finger. How about two?” He wasn’t necessarily asking me if he could use two. In fact as he was saying it I felt his other finger try to fit itself in with the first.

The sensation of two fingers wasn’t too bad. It did hurt a little but after he continued to finger me the pain vanished. I couldn’t even remember what it felt like. But having 2 fingers in me made me feel so dirty. Dirty and naughty. ‘Please pleasure me more Bokuto.’ I whined in my head. As if reading my mind his fingers did all type of tricks inside me. “Yeah, you like these fingers in you dirty girl. Do you want me to pleasure you more?” He said. His words nearly sent me. My hips shook a little and my hands raked his shoulders. My face was so erotic. I was biting the tip of my tongue and crying through it. His tongue played with my neck, his lips latched in different spot covering me with dark bruised loves bites. If I was in the right state of mind I would’ve pushed him off but honestly I loved the idea of him claiming me. I wanted to be his (not like some servant shit). I gasped when I felt a third finger tease at the entrance of my hole. Bokuto huffed out a smirk and poking his finger in a little. My hips backed further into the mattress. I felt the stretch and knew nothing good would come of it. I gripped his wrist to hold his hand steady. “What’s wrong?” He asked playing coy. I looked up at him, my focus now on his smirk. He was purposely teasing me and showing so much dominance over me. His hand still sliding that third finger in as he watched me cry and wheeze from the pain. “Shh baby, I’m just preparing you. You’re doing so well,” the praises kept me happy. “Really?” I asking wanting to be praised more. “Absolutely. You’re so beautiful taking my fingers. You make the most amazing sound and your eyes just keep begging for more from me. And I’ll happily fulfill those needs of yours.” His other hand caressed my cheek as he kissed me. ‘God damn this man is perfect!’ My arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss partially distracted me from the sharp pain at my hole. Controlling my arms to not choke him as he finally got that little finger completely in me. He kept his hand still as he smothered me in pecks. “Such an amazing and beautiful girl.” His compliments were making me blush. After a minute his hand picked up where he left off. My moans filled his ears and unbeknownst to me, his dick twitched a lot and cum was just coming out in small sticky beads, dripping down slowly on my sheets. “I want you to cum on my fingers baby. Tell me how to make you cum so you can soak my hand like how I did to your stunning face. Tell me what you do to make yourself cum.” He sat up and watched my hips move with his fingers. My hands gripped the sheets under me as I watched him stroke himself over me. ‘Wouldn’t it be hot if he rubbed his dick over my clit like my finger would?’ I thought to myself. “You want it? Are you thinking about my dick? Yeah, you are. How about a little sneak peek at what we’ll be doing later.” His hips moved closer to mine and he pressed his long member against my cunt. I gasped when he began to rub his dick against my clit. My hole clenched and my back arch. “Please! Bokuto please! I want you inside me.” His movements changed. His hips bucked against his hand as he fucked me with his fingers. The pads on his fingers rubbing against my walls and curling in me. His other hand palmed his dick against me making sure it’s grinding hard enough against my throbbing clit. It was rubbing me exactly the right way. My thighs trembled in the air and my hips just kept rocking against him for more friction. “Come on princess. Cum, I know you’re about to.” He pulled his fingers out and used them to rub my clit fast. I yelped and instantly orgasmed. My legs slapped together trapping his hand as he kept rubbing, overstimulating me. He soon stopped and pulled his hand away. My legs ached from being spread for so long. I held them together and Bokuto pushed my legs to the side and kissed my head. “I wish I recorded that.” He hands wrapped around my waist , holding me tightly against his body. Trying to silence my whimpering with his gentle touches. “Do you want to stop?” He asked. “No! Please no! I can go more rounds.”

I never expected a moment like this would turn out like this. I was begging for him so shamelessly and he was just loving it. It was boosting his ego so much and he would return that in a very specific way. “Oh that’s too bad. I was going to rock your world.” He teased. “Yes rock my world Bokuto. Fuck me good please.” I maneuvered my body under his, turning on my stomach, laying my chest over my hands and arching my lower back making my hips rise up and touch his pelvis. “It’s going to hurt. I don’t know how bad but it’s a bigger stretch than my fingers.” He said rubbing my ass and kissing my spine. “I like the way you hurt me.” I blurted out. I instantly blushed at my own words and felt a hard smack on my tushy. I moaned and bucked my ass back. “I thought you were a dirty little masochist in your journal. But I love this side of you. Take a deep breath for me baby.” He lowered his hips to mine as the tip of his dick tried to slide its way into my core. He missed a couple of times sending his dick to rub against my clitorus a couple of times. I continued taking deep breathes, bracing myself for the worst. Bokuto used his hand to keep his dick steady as he pushed at my tight hole and pushed passed invisible barriers as his dick tore right through me. He kept his other hand on my hip to keep me from running away as he made his way in slowly. It felt like needles, my eyes rolled back and I tried to muffle my little screams in my sheets. He was so eager that he had to hold himself back, once he was in he nearly destroyed me. His hips bucked a couple of times before he stopped and apologized to me. “Fuck! I’m sorry, I got overwhelmed. You’re okay.” He shushed my cries and kissed my shoulder. His hands were placed beside my head as his hips slowly pulled back. He was really slowly with his thrust. I can’t even call it a thrust. He was so content on making me comfortable that he almost didn’t notice me throwing it back. 👀😳. His eyes staring at my ass as it jiggled and bounced over him. A mixture of clear and bloody fluid coated his dick and he couldn’t be more happy. His hands gripped my hips making me go still as he bucked into me. Hitting a certain spot that made me scream. “Oh you like that?” He hit the same spot expertly and laughed when I cried out again. “Say my name.” He commanded and I began to chant his name and tell him how great he felt. “Bokuto, Bokuto yes more please. Right there! Harder please. I want to cum again. Make me cum Bokuto! Your dick is so big it feel amazing. You’ve made me so happy.” I said thrusting back into him trying to match his pace. “Yeah. Who’s fucking you so good baby? Say my name louder. Let the neighbors know who you belong to. I want everyone to see that you’re mine. Say it!” I couldn’t even speak. I was too fucked out. It felt absolutely amazing. I had felt an orgasm about to come as his thrust got harsher. The sound of him clapping my cheeks really turned me on more. “Can’t speak? Too fucked out? Aww. Remind me how good you look and feel when you cum. Lemme hear those high pitched moans and the babbles of nonsense coming out of your mouth.” He pulled back my hair and exposed my jugular. He groaned against my neck, feral like and I loved it. But all good things must come to an end right? I yelled his name as I came all over him. “Fuck baby. Just hold out until I cum too. I’m almost there.” He said through his clenched teeth as he continued to pound me against the sheets. He covered my mouth as he got rougher, his hips no longer hitting my ass but still fucking me senseless. I heard keys from out my window unlocking the front door. It was my mom. I panicked but Bokuto kept me in place. His hand on my lower back forcing my hips down and his other over my mouth, silencing my moans. He grunted and groaned and his nails scratched my ass. “I’m heading back out, I just needed to get my charger!” My mother yelled from downstairs. The door slammed and after a minute of silence Bokuto returned to his previous rough fucking. “Bokuto,” I whined, extremely embarrassed. What if we were caught?!

His thrusts finally stopped as he emptied his load in me. “Fucking hell gorgous! You feel absolutely amazing!” He rubbed my clit and forced another orgasm out of me as if he knew it was right there. I was out of breath and took deep and heavy inhales of air when he lifted himself off of me. “YN,” he called my name. Cum leaking out of me and onto my bed. “YN, we have to get you clean. Can you stand?” He asked looked for any signs of pain or discomfort. I nodded my head and he helped me out of the bed. But once I stood I collapsed. Bokuto instantly dropped down to my level and picked me up. I forget how strong he is. He helped me to the bathroom, forcing me to walk a little to get some feeling back in my legs. When I sat down on the toilet he waited for me to pee. I was a little embarrassed to even do it so I held it. He saw the discomfort of me holding it in on my face. “YN just pee. I just fucked your brains out there’s no need to feel embarrassed about peeing in front of me.” I couldn’t hold it anymore and just did as he said. Feeling my stomach deflate as I released fluid. “Why were you embarrassed by that? You’re too cute.” He kissed my head and started a shower for us.

[dreamingofmilk]

SugarBabe

Word count 2.1k

Summary: What would it be like if Erik was your boss and you were both stuck in a really tough spot.

This is for @marvelmaree and her birthday challenge.

Another email buzzed into your phone, your fingers anxiously twitched around it desperate to answer and solve all your problems. But it was never that easy.

You were a headstrong and independent woman who always strives to take care of yourself without the help of anyone. You didn’t need anyone to take care of you, but the situation you were in right now made you consider otherwise.

You made phone call after phone call and nothing was working and soon you would be flat on your butt with nothing but your dream job to keep you up. But it really didn’t matter because in the end you would get everything figured out and back on your feet.

For right now you’d focus on your boss and helping him shop for his upcoming business trip. You were supposed to meet your boss Erik Stevens in the watch shop about ten minutes ago but you were a bit weighed down with all the bags you were carrying.

You stopped to rest on a bench, you had a few work calls to make anyway. A loud sigh of relief escaping your lips when the weight of the back. You were just catching your breath when you heard a chuckle come from the stand in front of you.

“It’s okay to ask for help. There’s no reason a young lady like you should be carrying all those bags by herself.” The older man smiled kindly at you. You smiled back and quickly got up from the bench, you didn’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Erik offered to join you to pick up his online orders, but you assured him that his time was better spent on the conference call that he wrapped up ten minutes ago, and that the bags wouldn’t be too much for you to handle on your own.

Eventually you make it to the watch shop, and made eye contact with Erik as you entered the shop loudly with all the bags in your petite hands. Erik’s eyes roll over your form, his jaw clenching as he sees the amount of bags in your possession. He quickly marches over to you and snatches the bags from you. Picking them up effortlessly he bends down to whisper in your ear.

“Next time, we go together.” His anger is thick and understandable, you quickly look away from his eyes and nod. Silence seems like the best response at the moment.

You stand behind Erik to watch him pick out another sharp looking watch. It was his obsession, he loved his watches. Sometimes he would send you to go get them cleaned or fixed but most times he’d rather go himself, regardless of how busy he was.

As his personal assistant he demanded you tag along, especially when times were busy like today. Most of the time he liked having you around for the company, but also because he says having a beautiful girl like you on his arm warded off the desperate attempts some women took to shoot their shot.

Erik was a well known CEO of a huge engineering firm, frequently recognized by business magazines and publications, he easily became one of the western world's most sought after bachelors. So it’s no surprise that women recognized him sometimes and approached him when they felt necessary.

Erik held conferences, did interviews, and held charity galas all the time, working for him paid well, and he treated his employees with respect and cherished anyone who worked hard with him. You admired him and truly enjoyed working for such a determined man.

Erik finished up with the clerk and got his items wrapped up. While waiting he watched how you nervously kept checking your phone. The nervous tick of biting your bottom lip was a dead giveaway. After 5 years of working together Erik knew you well. He could tell when things were bothering you, he trusted you to tell him the truth about his company and a lot of the decisions he made. So any look of unease had him on alert as it usually signaled something that could be a problem with the company.

Annnnd he had a bit of a crush on you, he knew you had a crush on him too, but it was quietly determined that the two of you would not pursue it. The mutual attraction was obvious between the two of you, but you worked hard to bury it deep. Mainly because you worked so well together.

Erik grabbed your chin gently, his thumb forcing you to release your bottom lip. You looked up at him with your eyes wide as saucers. The grip on your phone tightened when you noticed Erik lick his lips staring down at you.

“What’s the matter?” Erik nodded towards your phone. You were a bit shook and quickly pulled yourself out of his grip and closed your phone pocketing it and smiling up at your boss.

“Nothing! Are we ready to go?”

Erik’s eyes squinted at you and nodded as he held up his packaged watches. You lead the way out of the store and towards his car. He put the bags in the trunk and you quickly hopped into the passenger seat after he opened it for you. You quietly murmured thank you and pulled out your work phone to see what was next on the agenda for the day.

Erik has a huge business deal coming up that required his travel to Singapore. Normally you’d travel with him for deals as big as this one, but this one was so important that he would be gone for about 2-3 weeks, maybe having to be back and forth a bit longer if everything went really well… or really bad. This trip required a lot of preparation on his part and yours and he left in two days, so it’s imperative that he complete his travel shopping today.

Erik climbs into the driver's seat and pulls off from the curb.

“Okay you have an appointment at Grisham Mall for those suits, then-“ Erik cut you off and held his hand out for your phone.

“Give it to me.” His voice is deep and rough. You go to hand him your work phone confusion etched on your face. “The other one.” His eyes cut towards you. “I’m not playing with you.” Your brain shorts. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, you were used to Erik’s moods and for the most part they turned you on more than anything.

“Why! It’s not that deep Erik.”

“Then give me the fucking phone so I can see what’s got you so nervous. Or you could just tell me.” Erik’s face was serious, he could always tell when you were trying to keep things from him.

You sigh and hand over your phone with the email detailing your eviction from your apartment.

Erik’s face got tighter as he read the email, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

“How did this happen?” He glanced briefly at you.

“I think someone stole my identity.” The words slip from your mouth, you’d been trying to handle it on your own this entire time, but things were worse than you perceived them to be.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply, his frustration clear. "How long has this been going on?"

"About a month." You shrunk a bit under his intense gaze, embarrassed to give him the answer.

"You've been dealing with this for a whole month and didnt say anything?" Erik knew you were headstrong and independent, he just never knew how deep that went.

You shrugged, "I'm handling it. I just need to talk to my leasing office and ask for an extension on rent. It's nothing to worry about."

Erik chuckled, mocking you under his breath. “Nothing to worry about” Erik grabbed your wrist, "The hell it is." He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a black Amex card.

"Here, pay your rent and everything else with this. I'll get Marcus on the phone and have him figure out who stole your identity." He flicked the card at you like it was a $10 Walmart gift card. You instinctively tried to push it back to him, but thought better of it when you saw the glare on his face. It's best to pick your battles with Erik and now was definitely not a good time to argue with him. He hates when you hide big things from him.

You grabbed the card and gave him a small but genuine smile, the relief and frustration fought for domination on your face. "Thank you so much Erik. I promise I'll pay you back."

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

You shook your head vigorously. "Bullshit! I'm paying you back one way or another."

Erik rolled his eyes, but he didn't argue. You made your way to the mall. Erik was on the phone giving Marcus a rundown of your situation so he could get started. The two of you made it to the next mall to pick up the suits. Shortly after he hung up, his phone rang again.

He greeted them with a simple "Erik." You couldn't help but eavesdrop, hey some could say it was part of your job, especially when Erik's face quickly morphed into shock.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" He said.

There was a bit more conversation. “Why the hell did no one see this being an issue earlier. I specifically asked what were their core values!!” Erik's face grew more frustrated as it continued before he said a quick goodbye and hung up.

"Is everything ok? Did something go wrong with the Singapore trip?" You waited a few moments before asking.

"That was Jeff. He was able to do the values and moral eval on the owners and it's about what we expected, except for the part where they truly believe a businessman needs to be married and involve his wife in the processes of the business. They like the idea of a family guy basically.” Erik rolled his eyes. “Some bullshit about how there might be another competitor with values that line up more. Jeff's suggesting I need to find a fake wife for the trip to stay in their good graces. How the fuck am I going to find someone suitable in 2 weeks?" Erik pinched the bridge of his nose, his nostrils flaring in frustration.

You immediately started racking your brain sifting through all of the women you knew who could maybe handle the job. It had to be someone who knew their way around a company, even better if they had experience in the types of mergers Erik did. They had to get along with Erik- which was pretty difficult once he got to know them- enough to convince the owners that it was a real marriage. They had to be free during the 2-3 week period he would be in Singapore, and be able to do all of this under short notice. Not to mention all of the other factors like facilitating business meetings, building rapport, etc.

Erik suddenly stopped walking, and you were so deep in thought that you ran into his broad back, almost knocking yourself to the floor.

He quickly wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you, pulling you close to his side. He smelled so damn good!

"That's it! I don't know why I didn't see it sooner!" Erik smiled brightly.

"See what?" You tilted your head in confusion. He smiled softly and moved a few pieces of your hair back into place. "You can be my wife. You know everything about the company, we've been working together for years so we won't have to worry about that. It's perfect!"

The thought of it alone brought a euphoria you've never felt before, which was terrifying. There's no way you'd be able to handle pretending to be Erik's wife! You barely held it together working alongside him these past few years.

You shook your head, "Erik, I'm sure there's someone else who would work better for this. Plus someone is going to have to handle your day to day operations while you're gone."

He smirked, "I'll have Gina take that over, no problem. Besides, weren't you just talking about how you were going to pay me back? Do this for me and I'll consider us even. Think of it as overtime."

Damn, he had a point. You would just have to guard yourself during this trip then. You can't allow yourself to get caught up. He was right though. He's done so much for you, it'd be nice to be able to help him out for once.

You looked into his eyes and nodded.

"Ok. I'll be your wife."

Taglist:

@aislinnsilver @marvelmaree @wawakanda-btch @chaneajoyyy

[gremlin-writes-angst]

The Three Kingdoms

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

TW: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, implied transphobia(very brief), religious trauma

If I missed a trigger or if you spot a spelling mistake, please let me know. Feedback is encouraged.

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for even more!

There was so much going on and yet it wasn't overwhelming, it was almost perfect. There were sounds of people happily chatting, wedding bells, and songs slightly louder played in the distance. The colorful glass from the church window shined on the people in the church. The church was packed for a royal wedding and at the altar, there was prince Kaminari but instead of a beautiful bride opposite him, there was a handsome knight from the enemy kingdom. The priest started the ceremony, the two grooms said their vows and kissed. It was anything less than magical. The priest began to announce the kingdoms’ new rulers.

"Lady's and Gent’s I introduce to you, your new Kings. King Denki Kaminari and King Eijiro Kiris--"

Before the priest finished his announcement the large church doors were opened and the...priest who was previously standing next to the kings, had teleported to the church’s entrance.

" I will not follow the rule of sinners like you" 

Suddenly all the happy wedding goers disappeared and reappeared behind the angry priest, joining him in ridiculing of the two kings

"We will not follow the devil"

"Our prince has been tainted by the devil"

The priest raises his hand and the crowd quiets down, Denki questions the priest

"What are you doing? You were just announcing us as the new kings and know you're over there protesting our marriage? YOU’RE THE MARRIAGE OFFICIANT?"

The priest ignored his King’s questions.

" Denki listen to me, the thing you married is the devil, he used his powers to make you believe you love him, but I know that you could never fall for another man. I can help you, just come to my side and I can exorcise that demon." 

The priest offers his hand out, then the rest of the people behind him do the same.

" Denki, they're lying, you know that they are trying to get in your head. I do love and you love me." 

Kirishima stood closer to Denki, also offering his hand to Denki. Denki looked between the two choices, he looks at the priest’s group, he sees his friends and family inside the crowd, telling him that the love of his life is the devil and he knows that they'll leave him if he stays with Kirishima. Could they be right? Did he love Kirishima, or was it just a trick? He meant every word of what he said in his vows, he spent days on his vows, he wanted to make sure Kirishima knew how much he loved him.  So they were wrong, he did love Kirishima, their love for each other was no trick. But if he chooses Kirishima he’ll lose all his friends, family, and his whole kingdom. Denki stressed over who to choose, the mob became louder and more aggressive while he thought but before he could make a choice, Denki woke up.

A dream? A nightmare? Why was I getting married, to a man, to a knight from the enemy kingdom? Why was I married to Eijiro Kirishima? It was a stupid dream, I would never marry a man, the kingdom was right, Eijiro Kirishima was the devil, the dream must be a warning to avoid the knight in the cellar. It can't be that hard, he’s just in the cellar that's in the basement dungeon, the key to said dungeon door was on the wall and the guard was always asleep. Ok, this was going to be hard, it's just too easy not to visit the Red Riot.

The day goes by quickly, but then night falls and I remember how easy it is to get to the cellar, how my dream is just a dream. How handsome the knight is. How sweet his voice is. How he waits up for me. How he stopped me from hitting my head. Before I knew it I was in front of the dungeon door with the keys in hand, but the thought of losing everything I know stopped me from going down. I silently returned the keys and went back to my room and slept, the dream repeated that night, and yet the pressure to choose felt even more stressful.

It was dusk again, I don’t remember the hours before now, but I was back at the door with the keys. I stand there for a while until eventually, I think

“It was just a dream.” 

So I unlock the door and descend down the stairs. Every step I take makes me more anxious, I repeat to myself that it was just a dream, my friends won’t leave me, I won’t be banished. I mean it doesn’t even make sense, I would never marry a guy, especially that brute in our dungeon, I barely even know him, and it's sinful.

“Then why are you going to see him?”

It’s a question in the back of my mind, and I don’t have an answer. It’s definitely not because he has a smooth husky voice or his muscular body, and it has nothing to do with his caring words that match his action. I am broken from my thoughts when said husky voice speaks

“If you keep walking you’ll end up hitting the wall”

I must have been so caught in thought because he was right, I walked right past him and was about to walk into the wall. I stay facing this wall, I wasn’t ready to face him, I mean I married him twice in my dreams, it is disgusting.

“Thanks, I guess”

“ No problem but are you going to turn around, I mean it’s kind of weird talking to the back of your head, especially when the front is so beautiful.”

I forget about the dream and why I was reluctant to turn around and l whip my body around and march towards his cell while accusing him of my dream.

“It’s your fault, you’re the reason, I’m not the evil one, it’s because you’re the devil. You sit there and you spew compliments at me, another man, from a rivaling kingdom, such words should be said to a woman!”

“ Sorry if I offended you, I was just telling the truth and if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop but I thought it was mutual” “What in the hell gave you that idea”

“uh the lustful gaze you keep giving me”

“Lus-lustful gaze, I do no such thing, and especially not to you”

“So then what was that look on your face when you heard my voice, why did you constantly look at my arms like they were turkey legs”

“ it -it - it was ugggg”

“Because that’s the same look the women give me…which is unfortunate for them because I’ve only ever looked at men with such a gaze.”

“ But that’s sinful, you are tainted, I should leave and never return.”

I walk to the stairwell with the full intent of doing what I just said.

“That won’t stop the feelings you are having”

I turn back around, full of frustration, I reach through the bars and pull the hunk closer to me.

“Then take your stupid spell off, I can-cant be . . . I can’t be like you, I just can’t, you understand right. Even as the devil you have to understand what this will do to me, I don’t deserve that, I don’t want god to hate me or my family or friends. I deserve to love who I want without feeling like the worst human in existence!”

I pause and quickly whip the tears off my face. I look up at the knight, his face is full of sorrow, he looks sad . . . for me. I let go and fall to my knees, replay what I said, I try to find justification for it, I think of the dream. I was happy, I was loved and I was loving someone else. What if I am like the knight? The knight leans down

“ I can’t say I understand the mental fight that’s happening in your brain because I came from a palace where this wasn’t something I need to worry about but listen.”

The knight’s hand slowly reaches for my chin, his hands are calloused like most knights, yet his hands are still comfortable and somehow soft. I let him lift my chin up so I’m looking into his eyes, there like rubies, or sapphires

“Or like the pits of hell”

I ignore the thought and continue to stare into the knight’s eyes as he tries to comfort me.

“ The person you love isn’t a choice, it’s fate, and if God hates you for what you can’t control, then he isn’t manly nor does he deserve such a title. Hate is a choice, love isn’t.”

I get lost in his eyes for a little bit, but when I realize it I turn away, a little more aggressively than I wanted to. I move away and take a seat on the bench that is meant for the guards, I don’t want to leave but I can’t find it in me to talk, even though I hate the silence. I sit there staring at the ground feeling awkward, the knight must have felt the same way about silence because he started talking.

“ um back at my kingdom, the Toyomitsu kingdom, there real accepting of such things, like I’m our queen was born a prince”

I’ve heard of a man loving a man or woman loving a woman but this wasn’t something I had heard of. With my eyes still planted to the ground, I asked.

“ What does that mean?”

I could hear shifting from the cell but I refused to lookup 

“Oh uh sorry, I forget that our kingdom is more progressive and more diverse. So basically our queen was born like us, she had our body parts, but she wasn’t.”

“I still don’t understand”

“Ugg this is hard, so she felt like her brain and body weren’t the same, like her brain said, ‘Your a girl’ but her body parts were male parts.”

“So she is a girl but had a body similar to ours”

“ Yeah exactly, but she’s better at explaining it because, well she lives through it.”

“ So she’s your queen, what about children, whos going to take over the throne”

“ Oh her and the king have a kid, he’s just adopted but he’s still their son and still the rightful prince, he's gonna be a great king. Oh, anyways I was gonna say that our kingdom is really accepting and if you need they’ll probably let you in if you ever wanted to leave here.”

In shock, I lift my head for the first time since I sat on this bench

“Even though I'm the prince of the rival kingdom?”

“ We don’t care that much about this rivalry. So yeah you would be fine”

“ If they don’t care why are you here?”

“ Well because our kingdom is so diverse and recently outside kingdoms have discovered that the queen is trans, which is the term for that situation, by the way, I think I forgot to mention that. Anyway, the King is worried about future attack’s so he sent out multiple knights to different kingdoms.”

“Oh so we’re not your only threat”

“Your not even a threat, your kingdom is crumbling”

“Oh wow thanks, I’ll remember that when I become king.”

“ You mean IF you become king”

“What is that suppose to mean ‘Red Riot’”

For the rest of the night, I joked and listened to Kirishima’s stories. I wish to see his home kingdom one day it sounds pretty cool. Before I knew it I was asleep and having another dream. It was different, there were no choices or stress. It was just Kirishima and me out on a hill having a picnic, eating food together, he fed me strawberries and the dream ended with a kiss, maybe falling for the knight wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe my wedding dream was a warning about my kingdom and not Kirishima. I woke up and realized I was still in the dungeon, and that it was almost time for the guards check up on Kirishima, so I started to sneak back up to my room, I successfully avoided the guards on my way there, I acted as if nothing happened, I’m a pretty good actor if I do say so myself.

In the king’s throne room, a royal knight is kneeling before his king, he comes with important information.

“Lord Kaminari, I found the dungeon door unlocked and the keys on the guard bench this morning”

“ Well don’t leave them there”

“ I didn’t sir, I believe someone is sneaking into the dungeon at night.”

“ How would that be possible, we have Shinsou guarding the keys at night?”

“ I believe that he may have fallen asleep on duty.”

“ Well we can’t afford to get new guards or to switch any of the guard’s jobs, just move the keys to a new location along with Shinsou, Shinsou will continue to guard them. I want you to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

“Yes Sir”

“You are now dismissed Monoma.”

All characters belong to Horikoshi and his series Boku No Hero Academia

[ryrycaptain]

My Juliet - PBB 2020

Hello and welcome to my fic for the PBB this year. I took inspiration from reading Romeo and Juliet to create this story. I’ll be forever grateful for ilikestopwatches who helped me so much with this fic. I’d also like to thank Divy for making some amazing art to go along with my fic. 

ao3 link

Dan was growing tired of following the lively man in front of him. He had a mop of brown curls resting on his head and green eyes that were framed by a lopsided pair of glasses. They’d already covered the dressing rooms, prop room, and wardrobe, and he was starting to sweat from the beating sun. “Ah here we are, sir,” the man, PJ called out, “the stage.”

Dan gasped in disbelief. He’d never been to the Globe Theatre before, and to see the stage he would be performing on in person was thrilling. The woodwork was intricate, and the stage was strong under his feet. “It’s amazing,” he cheered.

“It surely is a beautiful feat of architecture.”

At the end of the stage, people were spread out busying themselves with their scripts, but one person in particular caught his eye. The man had brown hair with the slightest tint of red and sparkling blue eyes that were framed by a simple pair of glasses. He looked to be in his early thirties, and he was currently staring intensely at the paper in front of him. “Who’s that?” Dan asked PJ.

PJ gave him a look of confusion. “That’s Philip Lester. He’s the author of the play.”

“Oh I’ve heard of him. He’s one of my biggest inspirations, but I’ve never seen him before.”

PJ nodded curtly and clapped his hands together. Everyone looked towards them and Dan’s cheeks flushed at the attention. “This is Daniel Howell, everyone. He will be playing the lovely Juliet. Please give him a warm welcome.”

With that, PJ started walking towards Phil which left Dan awkwardly standing alone on the stage before someone waved him over. He walked over carefully, wary of breaking something if he stepped too hard or breathed too loud. The man who had waved him over was even taller than Dan, which was a surprising feat since Dan was almost 6 feet tall, and had a shock of red hair framing his face. “My name is Christopher, but you can call me Kit. I’ll be playing the charming Romeo,” the redhead said.

“Um it’s nice to meet you. I’m Daniel but you can call me Dan,” he said, shaking his hand.

“Would you like to practise with me?” Kit asked. “We have a lot of lines together.”

Dan laughed. “I suppose I can make some time to practise with you.”

—

Dan had spent a good hour going over the script with Kit, and he had to admit that the story was brilliant. He could tell the play would be a huge hit with the plot twists and romantic storyline. He wasn’t totally surprised though because Lester’s plays always seemed to amaze him. Speaking of Philip Lester, he was currently perched on a seat in the highest viewing room and yelling at Kit.

“No. No. No. You’re doing it all wrong, Kit,” Philip sighed. “You sound too happy about your recent breakup. The whole point of this scene is to show Romeo’s impulsive behavior. You must be saddened by the loss of your relationship.”

“Ok,” Kit said. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still, should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!”

“That’s better, but I still feel like I am watching someone recite lines not mope about their lost love. You must practise this scene. Now, go on and take a break.”

“Yes, Sir,” Kit replied before walking over to the water where Dan was.

“I promise you he’s not always like this,” Kit stated after seeing the worry in Dan’s eyes. “I was an understudy for one of his other shows. He has a soft side, but it takes him some time to de-stress.”

Dan nodded. “I understand.”

Although he tried to play it off as a causal concern, Dan was worried he’d be cut from the show if he didn’t meet Philip’s expectations the first time around. He wasn’t a big name and it was a miracle for him to have a lead part in a Lester original. He needed this role to launch his career.

Pursuing his dream of acting was a huge risk, and his parents were doubtful of him. They were expecting him to earn money and to start a family in the near future and didn’t believe he could do that by playing dress up on a stage, and Dan needed to prove them wrong.

“What’s going through your mind,” Kit said, interrupting his thoughts.

“This is my first major role, and I don’t want to disappoint anyone,” Dan stated.

“I’m sure you have what it takes,” Kit encouraged. “After all, Philip does most of the scouting for his plays so the chances he picked you himself are high.”

Dan felt slightly reassured by that fact but also intimidated by the idea that Philip had seen him perform before. It had taken him a while to perfect his character and he didn’t want to seem incapable. He just had to hope for the best.

——

It was time for Dan to get on stage and to say he was nervous was an understatement. The actors who were playing the nurse and Lady Capulet seemed nice enough, and had some experience acting.

Philip seemed pleased enough with their performance and only commented on a few minor things throughout the run of the show. When they were done with their scene, Dan was pulled aside by a woman named Louise who needed to take his measurements and have him try on a few pieces of clothing. She led him through the halls of the theatre and into a room that was filled to the brim with various costumes and fabrics.

“I’m sorry it’s such a mess, dear. I’ve been a bit busy these days,” she hummed. “Can you step up onto that stool.”

She had long blonde hair and bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted and Dan wondered how many hours she spent at the theatre a day.

He stepped on the platform and she started measuring him with the tape measure that had been hanging on her shoulders. “You’re very nicely built, but I don’t think I have any previous outfits that would fit you. It’s a shame I’ll have to start this one from scratch,” she sighed. “Now to pick a colour!”

Her excitement was cut short by a knock on the door. “Mrs Pentland, may I come in?” A rough voice sounded from outside the door. Dan recognised the owner to be Philip and started to panic.

“Calm down, now,” she whispered to Dan before directing her answer to Philip. “Yes, come in sir.”

Philip let himself in and looked at Dan with a scrutinising gaze. “I was unaware you had company.”

“It’s no big deal, sir. Daniel and I were just deciding which colour dress he’d be wearing.”

“Ah, I believe you’ll make the right decision,” he said with a nod. He turned to Dan and stuck out his hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Philip Lester the director and writer of this play, but you can call me Phil.”

Dan took his hand timidly and shook it. “My name is Daniel Howell, sir. I prefer Dan though.”

“Yes, my Juliet,” Phil stated, making Dan blush. “What got you into acting?”

“Ah, I've always been a fan of the art. My parents took me to a show when I was younger and it’s been my dream to star in one since then.”

“Sounds similar to how I got into theatre although I’m much too shy to be a performer. I’ve always had a knack for writing though. I guess it all worked out in the end.”

“Of course, sir. Someone with as much talent as you is destined to be famous.”

“Can I ask you why you choose to portray women? I know it’s an essential job within the theatre but I rarely meet men who are excited to portray the role,” Phil said, deflecting Dan’s comment.

“I’ve always enjoyed trying on my mother’s dresses and messing around with her makeup. It seems a bit odd, but I like to take advantage of it.”

“I don’t think it’s odd at all,” Phil said with a twinkle in his eye. “I personally believe normalness leads to sadness. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back before PJ does anything rash with the scene. I’ll see you on stage, Dan.”

He nodded to Louise and shut the door behind himself on his way out. “See, he isn’t as intimidating as he seems,” Louise chuckled, “Now which colour should we go for?”

——

Dan walked out of the room with a smile on his face and a little more confident now that he could imagine the dress he’d be wearing. He wondered if it’d be made of the same itchy material that the ones for his last production were. He would have liked to imagine that the dress would be made of silk but he didn’t know how much they put towards costumes here.

He was stuck in his own fantasy world when he bumped into someone. He immediately bent down to collect his things with a muttered sorry. A hand touched his and he looked up to see Phil staring back at him curiously. “You’re still here? It’s getting pretty late.”

Dan blushed. “Louise and I got caught up talking about the costumes.”

“Oh, do you have experience too?" Phil asked, handing Dan the things he had picked up.

They both stood up and started walking towards the entrance. They weren’t going nearly as fast as they could have, almost like they had mutually decided that they wanted to prolong their conversation.

“I’ve sewn some clothes before but besides that I don’t have any experience. It’s always been an interest of mine.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sure Louise appreciates the company. I worry she gets lonely sometimes.”

“She sounds like she’s important to you,” Dan hums.

“Ah, she’s a family friend, nothing more. She’s already happily married with two kids. I’m afraid our parents would force us to marry if she wasn’t.”

“Oh, so you're single?”

“Yes. I’ve always been dedicated to my work, and it leaves me little time to meet people. Besides, the women my parents set me up with are unbearable. I assume you’ve got someone. You’re young and handsome after all.”

“No, it’s just me,” Dan answered. If he was being honest, he’d never met a woman he was interested in. He found men more intriguing but he would never admit that. He would eventually be married off, and it was for the best. That was just how it was.

“Oh,” Phil stated, “I thought you’d have women lining up to marry you.”

“My family isn’t the best off,” Dan admitted. “My father owns a small shop but that’s our main source of income right now. I hope to change that with this job. After all, my brother is going to university soon.”

“Ah, university. Those were some of the best years of my life. I miss my professors sometimes. They were always my biggest supporters,” Phil mused.

“That sounds charming. I never got to go, not that I really wanted to anyways.”

“That’s interesting. You took a big risk, unless you have some sort of craft you’ve perfected.”

“My only skills are in business, and I don’t have anywhere near enough money to run my own. Besides, I’m happy with my job right now. I’ve already met some nice people.”

“The cast and crew are exceptionally kind though they can get rowdy, especially when they’re under the influence of alcohol.”

“A lot of men are,” Dan agreed.

They were nearing the main doors, and Dan was surprisingly disappointed for their conversation to end. Phil didn’t bore him to death like the others he’d conversed with, and they actually had a solid conversation.

Dan yawned, startling himself back into reality. “You should head home,” Phil stated. “I hope it’s not too long of a walk to your house. It is quite cold and I can’t have my Juliet getting sick.”

“I’ll make sure to bundle up,” he assured the older man. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dan.”

——

Dan had been standing in the same spot for the past twenty minutes, and even though he was supposed to pretend that he was chatting with others, he was watching Phil direct Kit and the others around the stage.

Phil looked nothing like the shy, nervous version of himself that Dan’d met. On this stage, Phil looked like he was in his element. His voice was firm, and he commanded the attention of the actors around him.

Everyone was starting to look tired, as they were four hours into practice, and people weren’t putting as much effort into their lines. Phil was clearly starting to get annoyed, as his jaw was clenched and his unoccupied hand formed a fist.

He watched as PJ walked his way and waved him over. “What’s wrong, Dan?” PJ said. The exhaustion was clear in his voice, and he glared at Dan. Dan didn’t take offense, because if he was directing a play he’d probably be glaring daggers at everyone too.

“Phil seems to be getting angry, and everyone is exhausted. Do you think we could take a break? Just for everyone to relax a bit,” Dan pleaded.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, but I’ve got to see what Phil says.”

“Can you go ask him now?”

PJ nodded and walked over to where Phil was directed and pulled him aside. Dan watched as they interacted, and Phil’s jaw slowly relaxed. He nodded and called out for everyone to take a break.

Dan exited the stage and grabbed his water. It was nearing summer, and it was almost unbearable to work out in the heat. The canopy above the stage blocked out the harsh sun, but the humidity still hung in the air.

“Thanks for saving me.” Dan jumped and looked over to see Phil looking at him with a grin on his face.

“You looked like you were about to murder someone,” Dan stated.

“I might have if you hadn’t asked for a break. I don’t know how difficult it is to stay in a straight line, but the torchbearers could not stay behind each other. We all know that movement causes the audience to get distracted.”

Dan hummed in agreement. “It takes a lot of power not to fidget, but if they’ve been in previous productions then they should know better.”

“Well enough about them. What did you do after practice yesterday?” Phil asked.

“Ah, I just went home and practised my lines. I’ve found that there aren’t many things to do on the weekdays,” Dan explained.

“How about you and I go to the archery range? I try to practise from time to time, but I'm afraid I'm becoming a bit rusty,” Phil suggested.

“I’m not sure. I’ve barely touched my bow since I finished learning how to shoot,” Dan stated.

“Perfect!” Phil exclaimed. “That means we can be horrible together. Now what's your address? I would feel awful if I didn’t give you a ride.”

Dan was still unsure about going to the range with Phil. If he was being honest, he became quite fond of the eccentric playwright and he wasn’t sure if he could risk it. Phil was clearly not interested in men. It was a sin after all. Dan needed to put a stop to his growing crush on Phil, but he couldn't resist the pleading eyes the other man was sending his way. Sighing in defeat, Dan muttered his address to Phil and, with their plans arranged, Phil skipped off with a grin on his face.

____

When Phil had said he would give Dan a ride, Dan had been expecting a carriage, seeing as he was a famous playwright and could afford one. Instead, he was met with Phil and a single horse. He blinked at the scene in front of him, wondering if he was seeing things properly. There was no way Phil expected him to walk. After all, Phil had specifically offered him a ride.

Dan looked up at Phil with a blank expression and realised the man was talking, “much farther away from the theatre than you. Dan are you listening?”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

“Are you okay? You look a bit dazed.”

“I’m just wondering how I’m getting to the range,” Dan stated.

“Oh, you’ll have to ride behind me. You see my brother is borrowing Dante today so this is our only option,” Phil stated. “Unless you want to walk of course.”

Dan knew that Phil had meant the last part as a joke but he seriously considered it. He didn’t know how well he could handle being so close to Phil, especially with his crush on him. He decided that he couldn’t walk seeing as they were in a crowded city which meant the next range was more than a few miles away. “How do I get on then?” Dan stated as confidently as he could.

“Just stick your foot in the stirrup and hoist yourself up.”

Dan followed his instructions, and got up onto the horse. He tried to distance himself from Phil but it caught the attention of the other man. “What are you doing? You’ll fall off if you don’t hold on,” Phil laughed.

“Sorry,” Dan muttered, putting his arms around Phil’s middle.

Phil dug his heel into the horse’s side and it took off down the streets. Dan gripped onto Phil tighter, and watched as the scenery passed by them. He’d only ridden a horse once when he was younger, so to be high on top of one was quite intimidating. “Are you scared?” Phil shouted back.

“No.”

“Ok, Dan, I believe you, but can you let go a bit? You’re suffocating me.”

Dan blushed in embarrassment, loosening his grip. He didn’t mean to hold on so tight, but the speed of the horse had startled him. “Sorry.”

The rest of their ride proceeded with much less awkwardness, and a comfortable silence encompassed them.

When they arrived at the range there were very few people. It shouldn’t have surprised Dan seeing as it was the middle of the day and most men were at work. They went to find a target to practice on and finally settled on one that was positioned on the outskirts of the range.

Dan watched as Phil set his quiver of arrows down in the grass and fiddled with his bow. “Who’s going first?” Phil asked.

“Definitely you,” Dan answered.

“You’re really going to make me embarrass myself first?”

“I don’t want to be the first one to embarrass themselves.”

“Very well then.”

Phil picked up an arrow and positioned himself in front of the target. He stood for a moment, aiming to the best of his ability, and then he let go. The arrow whizzed across the range and hit the innermost white ring. “I thought you were out of practice!” Dan groaned.

Phil smiled. “I promise it’s just luck. Now it’s your turn.”

Phil stepped away and Dan took his place. He picked a bow out of his quiver and aimed at the target. His hands were shaking, and his pulse was racing so he knew he was going to do horribly. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Phil though, so he took a deep breath and hoped for the best before letting the arrow fly. When Dan looked up he saw the arrow lodged into the outermost ring.

Phil chuckled behind him and Dan spun around at him. “You can’t make fun of me. Unlike you, I was telling the truth when I said I was out of practice,” Dan huffed.

“What? Do you need a quick lesson from the master?” Phil cooed.

“I suppose I could use one,” Dan muttered.

When Dan agreed, he thought Phil would show him how to aim and shoot, but instead Phil came up behind him and handed Dan an arrow. He fit his hands over Dan’s and positioned the bow correctly.

Phil’s hands were slightly cold but his body radiated a comforting heat, and Dan felt warmer just from standing by the other man. Dan's heart was beating rapidly and he couldn’t stop thinking about how compromising the position that they were in was.

“Let go,” Phil whispered, breaking him from his thoughts.

Dan let go of the arrow and watched as the arrow launched into the innermost black ring. “See you've got it,” Phil muttered.

Suddenly realising they were still together, Dan blushed and pulled away to face Phil. “I’m still not as good as you are. Besides you did most of the work that time,” Dan huffed.

Phil grinned, “You’ll just have to keep practising.”

Phil picked up his bow again and quickly aimed the arrow at the target. Dan watched as it flew and hit into the yellow circle at the centre of the target. “Bullseye!” Phil exclaimed.

Dan rolled his eyes. His competitive side was finally coming out. “Ok, Philip. Let’s play ten rounds and whoever gets the most points wins.”

“What does the winner get?”

“I suppose the winner can pick a punishment for the loser.”

“It’s on then.”

——

Dan ended up winning. He was surprised he’d beaten Phil and his years of experience, but when he thought about it, Phil had given Dan a lot of tips during their match. Phil had definitely let him win. “Did you let me win?” Dan scoffed.

“Of course not, Daniel. You won fair and square,” Phil laughed. “You just have to believe in yourself.”

Dan still didn’t believe him, but he wasn’t going to question Phil anymore. “Now, since you’ve won, you have to pick a punishment for me.”

Dan thought about it for a second until his stomach grumbled. He assumed Phil could afford much better food than the stale biscuits and bitter coffee Dan had based his diet on. “I suppose you can buy me dinner. I am quite hungry,” Dan suggested.

“That’s not much of a punishment,” Phil commented

“No, but I’m starving right now so I’ll let it slide,” Dan hummed.

“Alright, I suppose I can treat you to dinner. Is there any specific place you’d like to go?” Phil stated, picking up his quiver.

“No, it’s your choice. I don’t eat out much,” Dan said following the other’s lead.

“Ah, are you a chef?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but I can cook a few meals.”

They walked back to their horse where Phil had put her in a stall. Phil led her out and gave her a few sugar cubes before using the stirrups to pull himself up on the horse. Dan followed suit and they were off again, heading back to the city.

——

Dan didn’t think Phil would take him somewhere fancy but, to his surprise, Phil did. There was a musician playing the piano softly on the stage with tables surrounding the raised platform. Candles decorated each table and customers sat in sharp suits and flowing dresses. “I don’t think we’re dressed well enough for this,” Dan whispered to Phil.

“Sure we are,” Phil stated. “Most of these people are on first dates anyway. They want to make a good impression.”

Dan blushed at the thought of it being a date. Sure he might have had a tiny crush on Phil, but nothing would come of that. Maybe if they were born in a more accepting time but in their day it wasn’t going to be accepted anytime soon.

“Right this way, sirs,” a waiter spoke.

Dan followed the man around the outskirts of the table and watched as they sat the menus down at a table. It was a bit secluded from the rest of the tables, and Dan instantly sighed in relief.

Phil sat across from him and picked up one of the menus so Dan copied him. The writing was riddled with flourishes and Dan couldn’t read it very well. His face heated up. He’d had an education, but it wasn’t one of the best. His parents couldn’t afford to send him off to a fancy private school like the other boys his age.

“What do you recommend?” Dan asked Phil.

“I usually get the chicken, but the lamb is also quite good.”

Dan nodded. “Lamb sounds nice.”

“Yes, the chefs here make the best in the city.”

They sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company and the soft melody from the piano, until the waiter came back. They placed their orders and at the end Phil spoke up. “Do you drink?”

“Occasionally,” Dan remarked, “but if you're drinking, I’ll drink with you.”

Phil nodded. “We’ll have two glasses of your best wine then.”

——

They might have had more than just a glass each, and maybe Dan was having a hard time controlling his stupid limbs, but that wasn’t anyone else's business was it? He was using all of his energy not to trip, but it was bound to happen. He never drank so he wasn’t surprised that he was such a lightweight. He didn’t regret it though. He’d had a wonderful night, and it was nice to be free from his nerves for once.

Unlike Dan, Phil wasn’t drunk. At least he didn’t seem to be. He’d had a glass more than Dan but he was perfectly composed and Dan wasn’t sure if it was impressive or not.

Phil was leading him out of the restaurant with his hand clasped firmly onto Dan’s shoulder. They made their way to where the horse was being kept in a small set of stables behind the building. A nice man led the horse out, and Dan looked at it warily. “Do you think you can get up?” Phil asked.

Dan's face flushed red. He definitely could not climb the horse drunk. After all, he could barely climb it sober. “If you can't, don’t attempt it. I need my Juliet to have fully functioning limbs for the play.”

“Then I guess I won’t be getting on the horse,” Dan muttered.

“We can walk then,” Phil stated.

“No that isn’t fair. I can walk home from here and you can ride back to your house.”

“You’re far too drunk to walk home alone. You’d definitely get robbed. I’ll walk you home.”

“What about the horse?”

“She’ll follow us.”

Dan nodded and followed Phil down the road. They were only a few blocks from his house so it wouldn’t take long for them to get there, but Dan still felt guilty for making Phil walk.

They chatted about the play, their holiday plans, and a variety of other things. Dan learned more about Phil’s family which was made up of his mother, father, and his brother, Martyn, as well as his sister in law, Cornelia. Phil seemed to have a strong bond with his family, and, unlike Dan’s parents, his seemed to be supportive of his career.

After around ten minutes they finally stopped in front of Dan’s door. Dan blushed thinking about the times he’d been in this position with the girls he’d courted. He remembered his manners and thanked Phil. “Dinner was delicious. I hope we can hang out again sometime soon.”

“It was my pleasure. After all, I lost our bet.”

“I still don’t understand how that happened,” Dan laughed.

“I told you I was a bit rusty.”

“Yes but your first few shots were amazing.”

Phil shrugged. “I guess it was luck.”

There was a lapse in conversation then, and Dan wasn’t intent on leaving Phil just yet. He must have been more drunk than he originally thought because the next thing he knew he was kissing Phil.

Dan pulled away quickly when he realised what he was doing. He was blushing fiercely and he was internally groaning at his stupidity. He’d risked both of their safety and made a fool of himself. He was likely going to get cut from the cast if not worse.

“I’m going to go in now,” Dan muttered. “Goodbye.”

Dan rushed inside and slammed the door leaving Phil to stare blankly at the spot where Dan had disappeared from.

——

When Dad woke up the next morning he had an awful hangover and an even worse memory of the night before. He didn’t feel like getting himself out of bed but he somehow managed to get himself up. He dragged himself to his wardrobe and threw some clothing on before leaving the house and walking to the coffee place he frequented.

When he stepped in the door he immediately shrank into himself. Sitting at one of the tables was Phil with a newspaper in his hand and a cup of coffee in front of him.

Dan almost snuck out of the coffee shop successfully but then Phil made eye contact with him. Dan had no choice but to stay at the shop. He hoped if he acted normal then Phil would forget everything that happened.

He walked toward the counter and ordered a coffee. When it was done he sat at his normal table in the corner of the room. For a few minutes, Dan watched the people passing outside before he heard a chair scrape across from him. “Morning,” Phil stated, sitting down across from Dan.

“Good morning,” Dan muttered.

“Would you like to talk about last night?”

Dan stared at Phil in surprise. He didn’t think Phil was a very blunt person but he guessed there was no beating around the bush when it came to the kiss.

“I want to apologise-" Dan started.

“No I’m not mad.”

“What?”

“I thought you would catch on eventually but I guess you didn’t.”

“What are you saying?”

“I like you Dan. I know it’s wrong but I don’t think you’re going to judge me.”

“I wasn’t expecting this.”

“You are a bit dense.”

“I am not.”

“Ok, Daniel.”

“Can I ask what made you wait?”

“I had to make sure you weren’t a homophobe. After all, we don’t live in the most accepting age.”

Dan nodded. He wasn’t surprised that Phil was hesitant because of the world they lived in. Honestly, this was a fairy tale come true, but then again, there would never be a fairy tale about two men.

“What do you want to do then?” Dan asked.

“Well I think I’d like to take you on a date.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

[ofstarsandvibranium]

This Is Your Song

Fandom: Marvel (Rock Star AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Your best friend is the lead guitarist of the up and coming rock band, The Howling Commandos. You’ve been with him and the band since the very beginning and throughout that time, you’ve realized you’ve fallen in love with your best friend. And you’re not sure what to do anymore seeing that you’re the band’s assistant and you’re tired of seeing Bucky with other women.

A/N: Was inspired after listening to Sami by Darren Criss and I changed some of the lyrics a bit. Also, this is long af (nearly 6K words!!), so I’m sorry.

You watch from the side of the stage as the Howling Commandos finish off their final song, the crowd going wild for them. There’s screams, hollers, cheers, all of it for your best friend and his band. You’ll never get tired of hearing the enjoyment the band gives to people, nor will you ever get tired of the proud look on Bucky’s face whenever they finish a show. 

“Thank you so much, everyone! We’ll see you next time!” Steve, the lead singer, shouts and the roar of the crowd grows as each member trickles off the stage. 

Dum Dum is off first, and he ruffles your hair as he passes by. Jim and Gabe both give you polite smiles. Jacques takes your hand and kisses it, he was the biggest flirt out of all of them. James gives you a little hip bump which makes you giggle. Steve pulls you in for a hug. And Bucky?

“WOO! THAT WAS QUITE THE SHOW TONIGHT, EH, Y/N?!” he lifts you up and twirls you around making you squeal and giggle. 

When he sets you down, you ruffle his already messy hair, “Yeah! They really dig you guys!”

“Alright, guys, let’s pack up and head to the hotel! We fly out tomorrow morning and you all need your beauty sleep...except maybe Dum Dum. He’ll always be ugly.” you all chuckle as the band’s manager, Howard Stark, pokes fun.

“Fuck you, Stark,” Dum Dum replies with a smirk, shoving his manager. 

Everyone exited the building, heading towards the waiting van. There were already fans waiting for them outside. Screams and yells for each member’s name from different people. They all took a few pictures with fans, gave some hugs, and signed some things. You sat in the back of the band watching them with a proud smile on your face. They’ve come a long way from that small garage band. 

Your eyes moved from each member and then landed on Bucky. Your smile wavered when you saw him accept a number from a very attractive woman around your age. 

“Hey,” you look to your side to see Steve sitting beside you. He never really liked the crowds or the attention. He still saw himself as the small, shy kid from Brooklyn. Not some rockstar, “You okay?”

You put on a smile, one that you’re sure he knows is fake, “Of course! You guys did amazing last night.”

Steve looks at you with pity and you hate it. He’s well aware of your feelings for Bucky, “Y/N, you-”

You shake your head, cutting him off, “Just drop it, Steve. Please.”

Bucky is the last one to enter the van and he has a big grin on his face, probably because of how many numbers he received from some attractive looking fans. He looks back at you and immediately sees the worried look on your face, “What’s wrong?”

“Just tired is all.”

He scoffs, “Come on. You can’t be tired! We have our ritual!” Ritual meaning going to Bucky’s room watching crap reality tv while binging on snacks. 

You shrug, “Sorry, Buck. But you need your rest anyway, like Howard said, we’ve got an early flight.”

He slumps in his chair groaning, “Fiiiiine. Guess I’ll be watching The Real Housewives of Orange County all by myself.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatics, “It’s only for one night, Buck. You can live without me for a night.”

He smirks at you, “You’re my best friend. There’s no way I can live without ya.” the way that he looks at you right there makes your heart beat faster. It’s just one of those things that makes you think, Maybe he feels the same way. But then you see how he flirts with fans and groupies and other women. Then that hope is gone. 

Twenty minutes later, the lot of you are trekking down the hall towards your individual rooms. Yours is across from Bucky’s and right next to Steve’s. You pull out your card key and open the door, but before you step inside, Bucky stops you.

“Y/N?” you turn around to see him standing there, hands in his pockets. He then leans in and kisses your cheek, “Good night.”

You muster out a “Good-night” back and watch Bucky enter his own room, the door closing behind him. You look to Steve, who witnessed the whole thing, and he looks how you feel, completely in shock. You close your door and push Steve into his own, closing the door behind you. 

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!” you cry out, “That just happened.”

Steve snickers as he kicks off his shoes and catapults himself onto his bed, “Yeah. That happened. I told you he likes you. The whole flirty bad boy act is just that: an act. You’ve known him for ten years, Y/N, there’s no way that any other woman can hold a candle to you.”

You want to believe Steve. You really do, but you think back to all the other women Bucky’s been around. They’re so beautiful. And you? You’re just some girl from Brooklyn who’s been following her best friend and his band around the country. And you’ll only ever be that: Bucky’s best friend. 

The excitement from the kiss has faded back into sadness, “He doesn’t mean it, Steve.” you mumble as you sit on the edge of his bed.

“Oh come on!”

“Steve, why would Bucky have me when he’s got all these beautiful women throwing themselves at him?”

“Well, for one, you know him like no one else. These women just like him for his looks and talents. They probably want bragging rights to say that they slept with a rock star.”

You look up at him, seeing him hugging a pillow, trying not to fall asleep, “How does Peggy do it?” you ask softly.

Steve’s eyes immediately widen at the sound of his girlfriend’s name. A small smile appears on his lips and his eyes soften, “I don’t know to be honest. Peg’s something else. She knows her worth and sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy of her. I’m gone a lot, on the road traveling. I’ve tried to break up with her a few times, saying that she deserves better. But she doesn’t want anyone but me. She loved me before the band even started and she loves me now. And-I don’t know, Y/N. Guess I’m just lucky to have someone as understanding and trusting as her.” 

You stare down at your lap, “I love Bucky, Steve. I really do, but I don’t know if I can handle being rejected by him.”

Steve sits up and moves over to you, his legs now hanging over the edge of the bed, and he places a hand on top of yours, “You won’t be rejected. That guy love you, Y/N. I know he does. Sure, he hasn’t told me that, but I see it. So enough of this mutual pining shit! You walk out of this room and up to Bucky’s. You barge in there and you tell ‘im that you love him!”

You nod, “Okay! I’ll do it!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah!” Steve wraps his arms around you and gives you a big hug, “You’re not gonna need it, but good luck.”

You snort, “Thanks, and don’t forget to call Peggy before you go to sleep!”

“Right! Ha, I forgot. Thanks, Y/N!”

“It’s what I’m here for!” you give him a wave and then you walk out the door. 

“Okay,” you mumble to yourself, “You got this, Y/N. You got this.” you walk the short distance to Bucky’s door and you knock on his door. There’s no answer. Maybe he’s in the bathroom. You look at the time and see that there’s no way Bucky could be asleep right now. He usually doesn’t go to sleep until late. So you pull out the key to his room, one that you kept only for emergencies and you walk in. 

“Hey, Buck, I gotta tell you someth-” you stop when you see a woman roll off of Bucky. She’s naked, save for the panties she still has on. Bucky is down to his boxers.

“Y/N! I-I-”

You shake your head, “Sorry. Sorry, I-you didn’t answer and I didn’t think you-Sorry. I’ll go.” you’re heading for the door and Bucky’s crying out for you.

“Wait, Y/N! Don’t-fuck!” you hear a thud, but you don’t dare turn around. If you did, you’d see Bucky on the floor, scrambling to pull on his jeans. The necklace with his ring, the friendship ring you gave him, swinging around his neck, “Y/N! Wait!” the door shuts in his face and Bucky’s body fills with dread. 

“She your girlfriend or something?” the blonde woman asks, sitting at the edge of his bed, looking unnerved. 

Bucky runs his hands through his hair, “Get out.”

“What?” the blonde looks at him in disbelief.

“I said get out! Get dressed and get the fuck out!”

The blonde is pissed as she quickly throws on her clothes, “Can’t believe this!” and she pushes past Bucky and out the door she goes. 

Bucky grabs his shirt and pulls it on. Not bothering with his shoes, he steps into the hallway. He takes two steps and he’s in front of your room. He hesitantly knocks. 

“Y/N? Can-Can we talk for a minute?” he runs a hand down his face, “I just-I’m sorry you had to see that.” he lets out a shaky breath, “Can you please opent he door, Y/N? I need-please?” he presses an ear to your door and he hears nothing. No shuffling or footsteps coming towards him. You’re either ignoring him or just not in your room. He really hopes it’s the latter. 

_________________________

Earlier.

As soon as Bucky stepped into his room, he felt a grey cloud loom over him. He didn’t like that he had to come to his room alone. After every show, you were always with him and you always did your post-show ritual. But now that was broken and he doesn’t really blame you. You’re tired and he doesn’t wanna force you to do something when you’re not in the mood to do it. So he let you have your rest. 

He decided to go to the hotel’s bar instead. Maybe get a few drinks in to numb the loneliness that’s usually filled in by you. 

He isn’t even finished with his first whiskey and he’s already approached by a beautiful leggy blonde. 

“Hey, you’re in that band right?”

He glances her way and eyes her form. She’s gorgeous and maybe this is his chance to finally get over you, “Yes, I am. I’m Bucky,” he sticks out his hand with a smirk.

“Elaine,” she says in a low, seductive tone, “How ‘bout we get outta here, Bucky? Bet we can have a lot more fun somewhere private.”

Bucky licks his lips and nods, slapping down a few bills, not worrying about the change and pulling Elaine by the hand, towards the elevator. 

Her lips are on his as soon as the doors close. She tastes a bit like vodka but he doesn’t care. He needs to drown out your smile, your laugh, your eyes. The doors open to his floor and he practically drags Elaine to his door, glancing at yours, before heading inside his room. 

Clothes are discarded. Bucky’s on his back, down to his boxers and Elaine’s straddling him, completely topless. The kisses are wet and messy and-

“Hey, Buck, I gotta tell you someth-” at the sound of your voice, Elaine rolls off him and he sees you standing there wide eyed. He looks at Elaine and then you.

“Y/N! I-I-” he’s stumbling over his words, trying to find the right ones to say, to explain to you that-

“Sorry. Sorry, I-you didn’t answer and I didn’t think you-Sorry. I’ll go.” you’re heading for the door and Bucky’s heart is pounding. 

He calls out for you, “Wait, Y/N! Don’t-fuck!” he scrambles off the bed, falling onto the floor with a thud. “Y/N! Wait!” he tries to run after you but the door shuts in his face. 

This was a mistake. Why did he think he could do this?! He loves you!

He kicks Elaine out with no remorse. She should’ve never been there in the first place. Once she’s gone and he’s redressed, he goes to your door, pleading for you to open up. When he gets no response, he really hopes that it’s because you’re not in your room.

________________________

You’re crying in Steve’s arms. You should’ve never listened to him. Why did you listen to him? You knew the truth. Bucky Barnes will never have feelings for you like you have for him. 

And now what do you do? You’re the band’s assistant and you don’t know if you can face Bucky. What are you going to do?

The next morning you and everyone else are packed into the fan, heading to the airport. You’re sitting next to Steve again, ignoring the Bucky’s pleading gaze on you. You put on your earbuds and close your eyes, drowning out face and the pain. 

You don’t sit next to him like you’re supposed to. You and Bucky always sit next to each other on plane rides, but this time, you don’t. You seemed to have switched tickets with Dum Dum, sitting next to Steve and Dum Dum next to Bucky. Guess no rom-com movies with you. 

The days seem so dull and slow now that you seem to be avoiding Bucky. He hates it. The ignored texts and calls. Being waved off to go help the stage crew. He just wants you to look at him, to listen to him. 

He happens to catch you all alone in the green room. You’re setting up the band’s snacks while everyone else is doing sound check. Bucky said he needed to use the bathroom, but really, he was just looking for you. 

“Y/N?” he sees your body tense and he hates that he’s the reason.

“I’m busy, Bucky,” you mumble, going back to setting up the snacks.

“Y/N, please, stop ignoring me.”

“I’m not ignoring you, Bucky. I’ve just been busy doing my job.”

“You don’t answer my texts or calls, you keep pushing me away whenever I try to talk to you, and you’re suddenly spending so much time with Steve? How is that not ignoring me. I’m your best friend-”

“Yeah, Bucky. You’re my best friend, not my boyfriend! I don’t have to text or call you or hang out with you every second of the day!”

Bucky tries not to let your words hurt him. You’re upset with him, that’s it, “Listen, Y/N, I just want to explain that ni-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Bucky. I’m not your girlfriend. I’m not your anything. You can sleep with anyone you want. I don’t care.” You push him out of the way and head for the door. 

“No, Y/N, please! You’re not listening to me!” 

You look over your shoulder, eyes teary and lip quivering, “Just leave me alone, Bucky.” and the door slams behind you. 

You march up to the sound booth where Howard is watching the sound rehearsal. He looks at you with a worried gaze, “You okay, kid?”

“After tonight, I’m quitting.”

“You sure?” 

You nod, “Yeah. I just-I need a break from all this. I wanna go back home work on my songwriting.”

“Alright,” you know he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. His arm just wraps around you and he pulls you in for a hug, “I’m gonna miss you, kid.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

The show was a blur for Bucky. His heart wasn’t in it like it usually was and everyone could tell. The band kept asking him what was up and he just answered with the same thing, “Nothing.” He goes straight to his hotel room after that, just needing some sleep and hopefully, when he wakes up, it would be just a terrible nightmare.

It wasn’t. In fact, it was so much worse.

“Quit? She just-she just quit?”

Howard nods, “Yeah. Flew back home last night. Said she needed a break.” 

This was it. After everything that you and Bucky had gone through, you were done. And it was all his fault. 

______________________

3 months later and 2 months until end of tour.

Being in back in Brooklyn is so weird. You became so used to hotels and big arenas and now you’re back to your old apartment. Your roommates Wanda and Pietro still around, giving you comfort and support. 

While working at a cafe, you continued to work on your songwriting, something that was a hobby you obtained whilst being friends with Bucky. You actually helped him write a few songs for the band and it always brought you joy to hear them play it, hearing the crowd sing along to the lyrics. But now the thought just made you sad. 

You’re in your room, sitting in front of your small recording set up, guitar in hand as you strum the chords you’ve been practicing, as well as the lyrics: 

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

You stop strumming to write down more lyrics into your notebook. It’s not much, but it’s definitely a big deal since this is your first song you’ve written without Bucky or anyone’s help. 

Speaking of Bucky, according to Steve, he’s not doing well. You see from footage of fans and media outlets that he’s not as lively as he used to be. Sure, he’s smiling on stage and meeting fans, but people have come to realize that he’s not genuine. Are you worried about him? Of course, but you need your time away from Bucky. You can’t handle your feelings for him while he’s around so being away from him has definitely helped...despite you writing a song about him. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Bucky just loves to torture himself, it seems. He’s in his hotel room and the tv is on in front of him, but he’s not paying attention. Instead, he’s watching a video of you and him on his phone. 

You and he are sitting on the couch in the green room before a show. The band is chatting away in the background while you and Bucky are tossing grapes into each other’s mouth. It was a competition to see how many you could catch in a row. You were winning. 

Bucky watches as you throw a grap at him, the small fruit hitting his nose instead of his mouth, which resulted in you bursting into laughter. A sad smile appears on his face. He notices how he’s looking at you on screen. Eyes filled with so much amusement and love. He should’ve just told you how he felt instead of trying to push his feelings aside. Maybe if he did tell you, you wouldn’t have left. 

“Hey,” he looks up to see Steve standing at the edge of his bed.

“How-”

“Stark let me in. I did knock.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Steve hears your laughter coming from Bucky’s phone and he shakes his head, “Stop it. You’re hurting yourself even more.”

"I miss her, Steve. She’s still not reading any of my texts or answering my calls. I love her and I fucked up.”

“Well, soon enough, the tour will be over and we’ll go back home. Then you can beg and plead and all that, but right now we have a job to do. So get off your ass and let’s go.”

__________________________

1 month until end of tour

You finally did it. You came up with the chords and the lyrics and you’re done. The song is done and you’re so proud! 

You sit in front of your camera, guitar in hand and you smile, “Hey, Steve. I did it! It’s done! I spent all last night finishing it up and here it is! I hope you like it!” you clear your voice and then begin to strum your guitar:

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

The way your hair falls in your eyes Makes me wonder if you'll Ever see through my disguise And I'm under your spell

Everything is falling And I don't know where to land Everyone knows who you are But you don't know who I am

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

I see you singing on that stage You look just like an angel And all I do is pray

That maybe, someday you'll hear my song And understand that all along There's something more that I'm trying to say When I say

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What you're doing to me!

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What you're doing to me..

“So yeah. That’s-That’s the song,” you chuckle, “Clearly, if I take this to the studio, I’m gonna change Bucky to, I don’t know, Baby. That makes sense, right? Anyway, tell me your thoughts and if I should change anything. Hope to hear from you soon!” you wave at the camera and then end the recording. 

You then hook up your camera to your laptop and attach your video to an email, sending it to Steve with anxiety coursing through you. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Steve his on his laptop in Bucky’s room. His earbuds in and Bucky assume’s he’s watching youtube videos or something. Meanwhile, Bucky is trying to read an email on his phone but the format is all weird. He turns around and waves at Steve, who pulls out an earbud, “Yeah?”

“Can I borrow your laptop? Becca sent me an email and I can’t read it ‘cause the format is weird.”

“Uuuhh, yeah.” Steve clicks something and then pulls his headphones out, “Here ya go. I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab my charger from my room.”

“Yeah. Kay. Thanks, man.”

Bucky sits up and settles the laptop on his lap and moves the mouse to add a new tab, but he stops when he sees your name. He knows he shouldn’t read Steve’s email, but it was your name! Curiosity got the best of him and he began to read Steve’s email.

It sounds amazing, Y/N! I’m really proud of you and I’m very honored to be one of the first people to hear your song. Keep up the good work and I expect you to remember me when you’re famous. 

Miss you a bunch, 

Steve.

“Song?” Bucky mumbled to himself. He looked up the thread and saw that you sent him a video. He clicks on it and he’s greeted to your face, your voice, your smile. God, did he miss you. 

He watched as you began to strum your guitar. Your mouth opened and there came that beautiful voice he loved:

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. You wrote this all by yourself? Bucky couldn’t help but swell with pride as he hears you sing-

Bucky, Bucky... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

What? “She wrote a song about me?” he mumbles out loud. He looks up and sees Steve standing there, laptop charger in hand, “Why did she write a song about me?”

“The same reason why you’re so depressed that she left. She loves you.”

“She loves me,” he whispers to himself, “Did she send you an audio clip too?” Steve nods, “Can you send it to me?”

____________________

You knew that The Howling Commandos had their last show in Los Angeles. That meant everyone was coming back home, which meant Bucky was coming back home. You don’t know what you would do if you saw Bucky again. Would you apologize for walking out on him? Would you explain your jealous rage and heartbreak? Would you tell him that you love him? You didn’t really know, but you supposed you’d cross that bridge when you get there. In the meantime, you’ll continue working at the cafe during the day and then working on your songs during the night. 

Tonight was open mic night. Anyone can sign up and perform for the cafe. It was usually busy on these nights, so you didn’t have much time to enjoy the performances since you were hustling to make drinks. 

Your coworker Denise was the emcee tonight. So before and after every performance, she was there to announce the next act. Like now.

“Alright! Thank you, Kelly for the amazing cover of All Star. Now, our next performer is going to be singing an original, but not one he wrote. A special someone of his did. Anyway, let’s give it up for James!” the people sat around the small makeshift stage clapped and then gasped. You didn’t really care nor did you have the time to pause for a moment. You needed to get these drinks out.

“Iced matcha for Matt!” 

You hear the faint strumming of a guitar over the espresso machine. When you hear some all too familiar lyrics, you freeze. 

I've seen your face, I've heard your name I've lost my place and you’re to blame And I can't stand it when I'm staring in your eyes And you’re not looking back, it's not a big surprise

You excuse yourself from behind the counter. Your other coworkers not paying you any attention as you weave through the crowd, heading for the front of the stage.

I've heard music, I've heard noise I wish that you could hear your voice The way that I do when I go to sleep at night And dream my life away but you’re gone when I awake

You make eye contact with all too familiar eyes and the low melodious singing voice. There, sitting on the stool onstage is Bucky. He looks like he hasn’t slept and his clothes are disheveled. Did he just arrive from the airport?

Baby, Baby... Why can't you see What you're doing to me?

You continue to be captivated as Bucky sings the rest of your song, replacing his name with Baby, like you had mentioned in your video to Steve. Wait, did Steve show him your video? 

After a few more minutes, Bucky finishes the song and the entire cafe erupts in applause and whistles. He nervously chuckles and thanks everyone for their time. Hopping off stage and towards you. 

Your heart is pounding out of your chest and you feel like you’re on the brink of fight or flight mode. Mostly flight. You want to run away but your feet are planted to the ground. 

“Hi,” Bucky says, standing right in front of you.

“Hi,” you mumble back. You feel everyone’s eyes on you and your anxiety is creeping.

“Um, is there somewhere private we can talk?”

You nod and have him follow you to the storage room. Again, your coworkers paying no attention because they’re too busy pushing out orders. 

The door is closed and you’re both just standing there awkwardly. Bucky clears his throat and sets his guitar to the side, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, “I, um, I miss you, and I understand, truly now, why you ignored me and eventually left. I mean, I think I understand? That song, that beautiful song, says a lot, but I still don’t know. I can only hope what you truly mean by it? I don’t know, I’m rambling. I didn’t really think all of this through.”

You shook your head and gave a deep breath, “I thought, from the way that you behaved around me and wanting to spend time with me, that maybe you had feelings for me. But then you’re flirting and talking to other women, so I thought maybe not, and then I did. You gave me a lot of mixed signals. I was gonna tell you that night that I loved you. Then I saw you with-with her and I was just heartbroken. I couldn’t face you after that, or the fact that you didn’t have feelings for me the way I do for you.”

“But I do have feelings for you, Y/N. I have for years and-and that night should’ve never happened. You said you were tired so we didn’t do our post-show ritual and I got stuck in this loneliness. I met..her at the hotel bar and brought her back because I needed to get over you. I loved you, but I couldn’t have you ‘cause we’re best friends. One thing led to another and yeah, I almost slept with her. Then you came in and everything went downhill from there. And I was a mess. 

“I don’t know if you remember, but that same night, I told you that I can’t live without you. And it’s true. I can’t live without you, Y/N. You’re my best friend, yeah, but you’re so much more than that.” he steps closer to you and cautiously take a hold of your hand, “I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/N, and I’m sorry for being confusing about my feelings for you. The truth is that I’m in love you. Period. No one else has made me feel the things that I feel for you.”

You sniffle, trying to hold the tears in your eyes from falling, but to no avail, they’re streaking down your cheeks. Bucky uses his thumb to wipe them away, hating that he’s causing you to cry.

“i really missed you, Bucky. I’m sorry I hurt you too.” you throw yourself into his arms and he tightens his hold on you. 

“Sssshhh. I forgive you, Y/N. I’m so, so, sorry. Ssshhh. It’ll be okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

____________________

1 Year Later

Bucky is standing front and center on stage, his guitar in hand while the rest of the band walk off stage, “Alright. Hello, everyone!” he smiles when people cheer back, “So, we’re gonna take things a little slow now. Some of you may know this song, and if you do, sing along.” he begins to play a few chords, but stops, “Actually, wait. I think I need a little help with this one. So can I have Y/N to the stage please?”

The crowd cheers as you enter from stage right, hurriedly walking towards Bucky, with an extra stool in your hands. You sit down next to him and he smiles.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You giggle, “Hey, Buck.”

“So you okay singing this song with me?”

“I mean yeah, I was the one who wrote it for you.” People scream out, knowing what song was coming up next.

“Right. Of course. Anyway, you ready?”

“Duh!” 

He looks out to the crowd, “Are you guys ready?”

“YEAH!”

Bucky starts to strum the chords, his eyes not focused on the guitar or the crowd, but you, as you’re sitting there beside him, hand holding up the mic, and engagement ring shining in the spotlight. 

[doof-doofblog]

"I Can't Believe It!"

Tuesday 10th November 2020

(Part 2)

Hello again folks! Hope your week is going well so far. Today's blog is going to be reviewing the second episode which aired on Tuesday evening. The first part ended with a big cliff-hanger where Rainie asked Tiffany to be a surrogate for her and Stuart. Will Tiffany agree? I'm certain the majority of you are well ahead compared to me, but I hope you'll enjoy reading this blog regardless.

Anyway, let's jump right into. The episode begins with Tiffany, Rainie and Stuart in the Café. This clearly looks to be the day after Rainie asked Tiffany the biggest favour of her life. Stuart and Rainie are eager to hear whether Tiffany has made a decision on whether to be their surrogate. Tiffany admits she still hasn't come to a decision as she admits that there's a lot to take into consideration. It's understandable that she'd be worried about Keegan also and what he'd say. I mean, £10,000 is a lot of money, Tiffany and Keegan would be able to make such a good life for themselves with that money, how could she say no?! Plus she'd be giving a couple something they've always wanted, don't they deserve to be parents? As Rainie and Tiffany are discussing the situation, Keegan makes his way into the Café, he briefly acknowledges Stuart, but Stuart can barely look him in the eye and leaves without saying a word. Keegan looks instantly suspicious, why would Stuart avoid him like that?! As Rainie follows Stuart out of the Cafe, Keegan approaches his wife and asks basically what is going on and mentions how weird Stuart acted towards him. He questions whether it was because they were still angry about Rainie's accident, but Tiffany assures her husband that that's not the case, she then feels like she has to come clean, he'll only find out eventually, so it's probably best if she tells him now, it's then she admits the truth that they've asked her to be a surrogate for them.

Meanwhile, Denise has taken young Raymond to the park, it's incredibly sweet how she's trying to bond with her son. It's understandable why the boy is so shy and timid, he's been swooped into a new environment and - as far as I know - has no idea where his Nan or parents or siblings are, how can a young boy his age understand what's going on. Denise is unknown to him, she's just this lady who has taken him in, but of course he's not going to know that she's his Mum, and probably won't know for a long time. I love how Denise is so gentle with him, talking to him even though he doesn't respond. As she's talking to the young boy, Jack turns up as he's running through the park. Even though they have split up, they remain friendly as Jack asks how little Raymond is getting on, Denise confirms that he's settling in slowly but he still doesn't talk very much, she mentions that she's going to take him to a specialist just to see if it'll help as she doesn't feel ready to put him into a nursery yet. Jack mentions perhaps he could socialise with other children - which I think would be a brilliant idea, the amount of children on the Square, I'm sure it wouldn't be long until he made friends. Maybe Denise might let him play with other children eventually?

At the undertakers, Keegan is livid about what the Highway's have asked of his wife. He accuses Stuart of wanting to sleep with his 17 year old wife (Also I had no idea that Tiffany was just 17! I thought she was at least 19/20!) ... Anyway, Stuart and Tiffany both reassure Keegan that Stuart wouldn't have to sleep with her for her to carry a baby, Stuart confirms that it's all done in lab, and the baby biologically would be Stuart and Rainie's, they simply just need someone to carry the baby for them, someone they trust. Everything would be above board and legal. Keegan sighs as he seems to understand everything but he informs Stuart that they're going to have to find someone else - the next line I didn't really like the sound of "My wife's body is not for rent!" - I'm amazed how Keegan can even see it like that! Like seriously, how does his brain work?! Tiffany would be doing a wonderful act for a couple who can't conceive and who are desperate to have a child, I think it's probably the most honourable thing you could do for someone. Tiffany is speechless as her husband walks out leaving Stuart devastated.

Meanwhile on the Square, Phil walks past Kat on her stall, and once again she's winding him up as she's still wearing his West Ham football shirt. Phil has had enough of her games and tells her to give him his top back. But I love how Kat winds up him up even more, questioning whether she should take her own clothes off or strip Phil of his clothes. As Phil walks up to her she warns him not to come any closer as she will scream, but Phil doesn't believe as the closer he gets, she warns him further and further. Suddenly she lets out this blood curling scream for the whole Square to hear. The only thing is, as she screams, Denise can be seen walking down the street with young Raymond - has she seen everything? Something tells me that she is going to completely get the wrong end of the stick. She'll question as to why Kat was screaming as she won't believe Phil's side of the story and stop him from seeing Raymond.

At the Atkins household, Shirley is watching as Gray finishes a phone call with Karen. He reveals to her that Karen wants to meet up with him in the park. Shirley believes it's a good thing and that he should, it's been quite a while since he's seen his children. She persuades him that the children should be back living with him, but Gray seems to think that they're better off with the Grandparents. It's then Shirley tells him of her experience being a Mother, she still believes that she hasn't been the best parent, even though she thought she was doing the best for her children. But she does give Gray some really good advice, the longer he leaves it the harder it'll get.

Back out on the Square, Stuart approaches Keegan on his sandwich stall and tries to apologise. He describes that he and Rainie are like kids in a sweet shop once they get an idea in their head. Stuart acknowledges that Keegan has had it tough the past few months regarding the death of his sister, Chantelle and him trying to make a name of himself. It looks like that they both have a mutual understanding with each other and Keegan admits that it just feels weird for him knowing that - to put it politely - a part of Stuart is going to be inside his wife. Suddenly Tiffany approaches them and I can totally understand what she's saying her husband. She tells Keegan that the way he is speaking about her is awful, it's her body and she can do what she likes - why is it that he's making the decisions? And she is telling the truth, Tiffany hasn't even given them an answer yet, it's a though Keegan is making the decision for her, when it actual fact, it's completely up to her at the end of the day. Keegan apologises to his wife and she tells him that she actually does in fact like Stuart and Rainie and part of her does want them to be happy and have a family. She tells her husband that £10,000 could change their lives! She pleads to him to just sit down and talk/think it through, Keegan once again takes another big sigh and promises he'll think it through, for his wife's sake, he says that he'll try and support her and stand beside her, but at the end of the day she will be the one that's giving birth ... I don't understand why that's such a big deal, babies are born every day! Women give birth every day! The human body is an incredible thing and what a woman's body goes though is astonishing, being able to carry a tiny human for 9 months and then give birth is a wonderous thing. There shouldn't be anything fearful about it ... BUT ... (And my mind has gone a completely 1-80 here!) - What if something tragic happens during the birth and Tiffany dies in childbirth? What if there are complications with the pregnancy?! As much as this story could be beautiful, I do (Now) have a feeling that something tragic could happen.

Returning to Denise at home, she appears to be on the phone to someone, a specialist I'm assuming? It looks like she's trying to get help of trying to build a bond with her young son. She's trying to get through to them and trying to explain that she's his birth Mother and the poor boy has no idea who she is. It looks like she's pleading for someone to help her whilst she's trying explain the situation. I do feel for Denise, she's trying her absolute best to support and be there for her son, but of course he's been through something traumatic and everything he once knew has all gone. It's hard for a little boy his age to understand completely what's going on or what's happening. I'm hoping in time, he'll come to open up to Denise and eventually they'll be able to build a bond with each other.

At home, Tiffany looks as if she's watching birthing videos online - which is probably not the best idea. Labour and giving birth is a different experience for every woman. Some have really easy births, some have it a lot harder - it simply depends on the baby. But of course watching videos like that are going to terrify her and perhaps scare her into going through with it. Outside on the Square, Mitch finds his son in a world of his own. In not so many words, Keegan tells his father that he and Tiffany are having a disagreement - I kind of liked the way they were describing things by magic and pulling rabbits out of a hat - it was quite a clever take on things. Mitch sits along side his son and gives him some really good fatherly advice, he asks Keegan whether he has heard of the phrase "Happy wife, happy life!" - to which Keegan shakes his head. Now I think sometimes that phrase can be a a bit shady, but Mitch describes in such a lovely way, mentioning his Grandparents having a happy marriage which lasted over 50 years. He says that if your wife is happy, it should make you happy and as he says all this to son, it look as if Keegan completely understands what he has to do.

Back in the park, Whitney approaches the Atkins children, Mack and Mia as they play football. As they play they ask whether their father will be joining them. Whitney informs the children that unfortunately he has to work, this disappoints the kids as they tells Whitney that he hasn't played with them since their Mum passed away. He spends all his time with Shirley now and not them, Whitney is surprised to hear this and informs the young girl and boy that their father loves them dearly and would do anything for them. It's then as they continue to play, Whitney takes out her phone - is she going to convince Gray to make some time with his kids? Meanwhile at home, Gray and Shirley look as if they're doing work, Gray is on his laptop and Shirley is looking at paper work while Tina is sat in the living room behind them, (I loved Tina in this scene, I loved her clumsiness)  She's complimenting the house that Shirley has found herself in. I loved how she asked whether the cushion on the sofa was filled with feathers, Shirley's response was brilliant - I'll fill you with feathers if you don't be quiet, and then of course when Tina switches the television it blares through-out the whole household. Tina then asks whether it's possible to stay there for a while as the place she's living at is just constantly full of arguments. Shirley informs her sister to grab her coat as she's going to walk her back to her place, as they leave Gray's phone pings and as he looks over he can see that he's received a message from Whitney telling him that his children want to see him, along with a picture of his children.

At home, Denise appears to be juggling a few things, trying to sort out little Raymond's tea whilst trying to sort out appointments with the salon on the phone, so much so that she burns her finger on the burning hot oven tray. Suddenly the doorbell rings, Denise is surprised to see Jack standing there. She hangs up her phone call and invites him in. It's then that Jack holds out to her an envelope full of money, he admits he wants to help contribute with the expense of Denise seeing a specialist. Denise, at first, is reluctant to take it from him as she explains that it's not his problem and she can't take money from him. But Jack admits that he still cares about her and begs her to take the money, as it'll mean she wont have to bother Phil and also it would be a friend helping out another friend. Denise smiles and thanks her ex-boyfriend for his kindness and accepts the money. As she offers him a cup of coffee, they both smile - do you think her and Denise will rekindle their romance? Will Jack be able to stand by Denise and support her in bringing up Raymond? I'd like to see them get back together, it's clear they still care for one another.

Meanwhile, at the Slater household, Kat returns to find the household empty but is surprised to hear Phil's voice coming from the living room. She is stunned to see him sat in a chair and asks him how he entered their property, to which he reveals that the door was left open. She threatens to call the police if he doesn't leave the house but Phil is quick to respond. He tells her that he's come for his shirt and Kat questions him why he wants it back so desperately, it's then he admits that the top has sentimental value and it was going to be a gift for young Dennis for his 18th birthday. Kat is quick to apologise and admits she only took/wore it to get his attention and assures him that she was going to give it back. Kat then proposes that she'll only give him the top back if he goes and checks out the job she mentioned to him a while back, Phil can't believe what he's hearing. But Kat tells him that if he was to go with her, he'd see she wasn't as stupid as he thought. Something tells me that Phil will only go through with this dodgy robbery job just so he can get the shirt back? What do you guys think?

Returning to Jack and Denise, Denise informs him that trying to sort things out over the phone she's facing a battle of questions that she doesn't know how to answer, because unfortunately she hasn't got the answers to give them. How is she supposed to know if Raymond knows he's adopted, when he won't even speak. Jack throws in suggestions maybe asking a family friend or another family member or someone she might be able to contact, and it's then he recalls that Raymond's adoptive father was a vicar to which Denise reacts positively and recalls which church he was registered at. Okay - something is giving me a very bad feeling - I'm sure you guys remember that Denise's ex-husband Lucas was a pastor of some kind, or was a holy man and had something to do with the church - what if Denise goes to this church and finds that Lucas is now out of prison and back at the church. We know Lucas is returning to the Square, I feel this may just be the start of his return, what do you guys think? Personally, I am SO excited for Lucas and Chelsea to be returning and I hope their return to the Square will be a permanent one. But it feels that this build up into helping Raymond will be the most brilliant way in bringing them back into Denise's life, of course it may be unfortunate for her, but it'll be SO interesting. How is Chelsea going to react when she finds out she has a little brother and that her Mum slept with Phil Mitchell?! It's going to be brilliant I'm sure!

Back out on the Square, Phil bumps into Isaac and asks him why he hasn't updated him on Raymond in recent weeks. Isaac admits that Denise knows so unfortunately he can't continue giving him information, to which Phil tells him to give him his money back. But Isaac reveals he spent the money on treating Raymond to pizza and a toy, to which Phil can't really react to. He knows that if the money has been spent on his son, he can't really be mad. Isaac tells him that if he's so desperate for information on his son then he can speak to Denise, there should be no harm considering he is his father.

Returning to Tiffany and Keegan, she reveals to her husband that she's watched a video online of someone giving birth, but she couldn't finish it. But then she admits that she forced herself to watch the video till the end and she admits to her husband that she found it beautiful. She tries to persuade her husband that they can go through with this, they can treat it like their doing a job and/or a favour to someone, Rainie and Stuart will have the baby they've always longed for and Tiffany and Keegan will be able to use the money to evolve Keegan's business, they'll be able to get all the equipment and supplies they need to really make his business take off. But Keegan, once again, is so mopey thinking that people like him don't deserve to be successful and have dreams, but Tiffany then tells him that his sister wouldn't want him thinking that way and they would both want him to achieve his dream and be a big success.

Back at the Atkins household, Gray is finally reuniting with his children as they show him their drawings they've done of their Mum. Gray is incredibly touched and praises his children for drawing such gorgeous pictures. He suggests to them that they do some more drawing and eagers them to get their drawing supplies so they can do some together. As the children leave to grab their things, Gray thanks Whitney in bringing the children back to him and helping and it's then she tells him that if he ever needs any more help or if he needs her to look after the children until he feels ready to have them back permanently, she's willing to help whenever she can. Gray smiles and thanks her, to which Whitney smiles back.

Above the undertakers, Rainie is fast asleep on the sofa, but Stuart wakes abruptly as he announces that they have visitors, slowly Tiffany and Keegan appear from the staircase. This scene well and truly touched me, I began to well up! Tiffany begins to apologise for what happened earlier in the day, but then she softly reveals to the couple that after a long discussion with Keegan and thinking long and hard about it, they want take them up on their offer and will happily help them have a baby. Everyone is silent as they take in the news, both Rainie and Stuart tear up and Stuart asks whether they're being serious, and Tiffany confirms that she will carry their baby for them. Rainie is tearful as she thanks the red-head. Stuart excitedly states that between the four of them they will make a beautiful baby and he rushes to embrace his wife. Tiffany excitedly joins them and everyone is incredibly happy and excited. But as the three of them embrace in a huge hug, Keegan is left standing and watching, he looks towards the camera and appears less excited than anyone else.

Urgh ... Why can't Keegan see that they're doing something wonderful for the couple?! Of course he's bound to have concerns, is he jealous maybe? Or does he simply not want his wife to do this? I don't know, I think, personally, Keegan needs to realise that this is adult stuff, he's not a kid anymore. He can't mope around because he hasn't got his way, he needs to put on a smile and remain positive. Will Keegan eventually come round to the idea? Could this maybe even break Keegan and Tiffany? I mean this is EastEnders, as much as I want and hope that Stuart and Rainie get the baby they've always longed for, I fear that maybe there could be tragedy along the way. Could Tiffany lose the baby? Will she die in childbirth? Who knows? But this is another story I think is really going to touch people and will end up being gripping, it'll either have a wonderful or devastating ending. What do you guys think?

I hope you've enjoyed reading this blog, I have really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you all enjoy your day and I will be back tomorrow with another blog. Thank you again everyone for taking your time read, I really do appreciate it, it means the world. Every comment, every message, every like - I do notice it and I want you guys to know that it means the world to me that you enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy writing it. Enjoy the rest of your day folks and I'll be back very soon. Love you all xXx

[rainbowamory]

Mansfield Park (1999) Review

The film I am reviewing is the one that came out in 1999. There is actually another film made in 2007.

I want to start by saying that I was a fool. I take back everything I said in my first post about this film. I had been reluctant to watch it for the reasons I explained in the previous post, but I finally pushed myself to give it a chance and… by the end of the film, it went from being my least favourite cousin love story in a novel to one of my Top Favourite films exploring this kind of relationship. I want to explain why I loved it this time round and what my impressions were of the book vs. the film.

The truth is I read the novel by Jane Austen years ago, so I don’t really remember the exact details or what the film might have changed. The main love story is still there. They might’ve just changed some details of the scenes here and there. But I remember that my first impression of the novel was that Edmund was indecisive and took forever to realize Fanny’s worth. Or that’s how it seemed to me, and that was the main reason for the bad impression I got of the book. It’s possible I misremembered or simply misinterpreted the book’s version of Edmund.

As for Fanny, I thought they changed her personality completely, but that too was a misunderstanding. The first time I tried to watch this film, I had only watched the opening scenes and I was irritated because I didn’t like the creepy stories that Fanny was reading out loud… I recall the book version of her being more sensitive, so I was put off by those opening lines because it seemed on the surface that the film version of her was harsh and unfeeling.

But the fact it, sometimes Fanny is cold on the outside, but she’s a sweetheart on the inside, and always faithful. (Wait a minute. Isn’t that my type?? So how could I possibly dislike her?) I think if they changed anything about her it was just that they made her personality more vivid and passionate in the film. They didn’t change her core character traits or values from the book.

The 2nd reason I had a negative impression of Fanny was that before I watched this film, I had seen some screenshots of the 2007 film, and I noticed two males in the picture, which sometimes indicates a love triangle. My personal preference in ships has always been monogamous pairings. The only scenarios in which I am ok with non-monogamous ships is if all characters involved are truly poly. I don’t care for stories where one person leads on two people and acts like the center of attention. In the 1999 version of the film, it’s clear that Fanny’s heart is always with the one guy: Edmund. There is no ambiguity there. If Henry Crawford feels like a third wheel, it’s his own dumb fault because no one is leading him on....

As I watched more of the film, it became clear that the dilemma Fanny and Edmund were really going through was the dilemma of a second-born son being in love with a woman from a lower class. Their marriage would not have been “advantageous” in a material sense in their time period. That was a huge part of what was holding them back from getting together.

So Edmund actually had a good reason for his hesitations. He was struggling inside because he felt he didn’t have enough to offer Fanny if she were to be his wife. And the only reason Fanny went along with the courtship with the other guy was because she too was trying to make the best of her circumstances and the fact that being with Edmund was not initially an option.

➤

[Typo in the captions below. It should read “I hope you know how much I shall...”]

Edmund and Fanny were always each other’s first choice. And they were always honest with each other every step of the way, even when they were going in separate directions. There was no sleezy deception. It’s this fact that ultimately won my heart: this consistent mutual respect. It’s what made them worthy of each other in the end.

There were a number of other things I also loved about this film. Often times, when consanguineous pairings are handled in fiction, especially more modern fiction, they tend to set the pair in a “broken family backdrop”. That’s something I really hate—this implication that incestuous relations only happen in unstable or “dysfunctional” families. Mansfield Park appears on the surface to follow this stereotype, but there’s more going on. Fanny’s uncle is a very sick individual who gets away with horrific crimes, but there was unfortunately nothing Fanny could directly do as she didn’t have the power to expose him. To add to that, Edmund’s mother is emotionally absent, Fanny’s parents are always struggling with poverty, and Edmund’s siblings are troubled in their own ways.

So one can say that Edmund and Fanny really only had each other. But it’s clear that the “broken family backdrop” is not the reason they got together.

I look at the common Cousin Dynamics to see where Fanny and Edmund would fit, and they actually don’t fit into the 3 main categories that are most typical. They grew up separately up to a certain point, and they didn’t seem to see each other as siblings, so it’s not Dynamic 1. But they did grow up together under the same roof for a big part of their lives, so it’s not Dynamic 2 which involves more distance. It’s not Genetic Sexual Attraction, because they did not fall in love upon first meeting. They had developed a bond and shared history before they fell in love.

They were playful and mutually supportive and they just seemed very in synch with each other’s personalities and values. It was a bond that came with the build-up of trust over time, familial and romantic at the same time. The “broken family backdrop” in this scenario did not force any of that. If anything, it only brought two already close people even closer. Dysfunction in their families was a circumstance, not the catalyst for their love.

Would I recommend this film? YES. However, you should know it’s not a plot-heavy story. It’s more a “slice of life” kind of story. When I watched it with my partner, half-way through she asked me, “Is this one of those stories where nothing really happens?”

My answer was that actually a lot is happening, but it’s in subtext. The themes that we see in subtext include women’s social expectations, inequalities between genders, classism, and the darker undertones of what was happening with slavery in those times.

But the main story is focused on the inner conflicts and coming-of-age of two characters.

It’s a refreshing exploration of a relationship that is allowed to form without the added stigma of the “incest taboo”. This is also due to the time period in which the story is set, in which cousin marriage was not automatically seen in a negative light.

As the 2nd born son, Edmund will not inherit the main wealth of the family. So their future is that of a clergyman and a clergyman’s wife, a humble middle class couple. This is an interesting alternative to the usual stories about royal couples or rural stereotypes. And something tells me they will not be the blind, bigoted type of religious people. Edmund’s comments about the music at church and about Fanny’s character traits, and Fanny’s own ability to see through falseness in others shows they are people who can see the very essence of things.

Watching this movie was like watching a dream. It was beautiful and very charming and satisfying. The symbolism, the subtle humor, the way it was filmed, the acting… every decision fit the story and the themes. I was getting worried near the end whether it would end the way I was hoping it would, and when he started confessing to her, this was my reaction: 

YES. SAY IT YOU SON OF A B*TCH. SAY IT. APOLOGIZE TO HER. THAT’S RIGHT. YES. NOW KISS HER. 

And after that moment, all was forgiven in my head…

It was really a treat for a romantic with an open mind. And I regret dismissing it before, but now that I’ve seen it in full, I love it so much I would actually like to make a fanvideo for it eventually.

[okimargarvez]

ABYSS- the Supreme sacrifice - Chapter 1

Original title: Abisso- il supremo sacrificio.

Prompt: mother’s love, kidnapping, distress, tragedy.

Warnings: mention of Character’ Death and rape, O.C..

Genre: angst, drama, action, romantic, family, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez, Morcia.

Note: multichapter.

Legend: 😘👓🔦🎈⚰.

Song mentioned: none.

Abyss- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: this is my real first Garvez (but even Morcia) fanfic. The song Slipped away by Avril Lavigne inspired me for the plot and the final. It’s a hard story, I talked about weighty topics, it’s not fluffy at all. If you think it’s better if I don’t post it here, please, tell me.

Chapter 1

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. (Honoré de Balzac)

1- The germ

Every fiber of her body vibrates to that tenuous thought, but the woman is expert in pushing it away.

-Someone is very thoughtful tonight.- a voice says behind her, that causes a slight jolt.

-Ha ha, very funny.- she turns to him and smiles. It still seems impossible to think that only a few months before (well, a year now) she couldn’t even look at him in the face, because the calienti Latin traits were replaced by equally fascinating features, but much more painful. Too many similarities, if one was busy to see them. Both were handsome men, for whom all women dizzy and immediately stopped doing what occupied them at the time of the apparition, regardless of the importance of it. Both had something exotic and tasty.

And both (but this she can’t know) are attracted to her, an attraction that must be understood in the absolute sense of the term: an interest that, for someone, can lead to a deeper bond.

Something very similar is passing into the mind of the special agent Luke Alvez as he examines every detail of the woman in front of him. Blonde hair, slightly wavy, glasses that cover those spheres that are a direct mirror of her soul.

Derek is what he can read, printed in indelible characters. Derek Morgan, still present as a shadow that oppresses him, hides him. And he feels exactly like the second wife told by Hitchcock in Rebecca, so crushed by the first that she can’t even afford her own name, nor own personality. It wasn’t the first time he had to replace someone, indeed. Since he was a child he had been used to constant change, to the impossibility of making real friends, knowing full well that it would not last. Yet this had allowed him to have an elastic character, had developed in him an innate ability to forge relationships with people, at first glance, without too many turns of words and this had returned very useful in his work. So he had drawn the best from an unfavorable circumstance, which very often created children, then boys and then adults, unable to forge ties, to the constant search for a fixed point, which at the time when they lost it went into crisis and could become (also) serial killers like those who had to chase.

All this explained perfectly his attitude when, a year ago, he had been easily received by the whole team, consisting of a mix of different members, a super smart young boy, a blonde and a brunette (both not bad) that knows what they’re doing in more senses, a veteran and writer, a man with a severe appearance (it still hurts to think of him, although he has hardly had time to become attached to the big boss) which was then added an old acquaintance, a brunette also  interesting… in short, a beautiful variety that seemed to work as a Swiss mechanism, each had own place and made available their qualities and skills for the success of the mission, everyone seemed aware of the value of each other… yet despite having just lost a gear, they hadn’t shown particular anxiety in welcoming a new member. Everybody but one, the one that had immediately been more apart (although later, soon enough, he would have discovered that it was not a typical attitude of the girl in question): a shapely blonde in all the right places, quite eccentric in the way of dressing and also to furnish her own den. The computer technician Penelope Garcia. When he showed up she had barely looked at him and he, slightly aware of his charm, was disappointed. Even the other blonde, JJ, who wears wedding ring and as he would have learned later was busy, didn’t miss the opportunity to give him a look not really friendly, even if Luke had appeared more like a kind of verification to admission. Penelope had shaken his hand with difficulty and then had run out; during the discussion of the cases she did everything (in a way too obvious) to avoid being near him and when she was sending information while they were outside, never called his number.

If she had seemed a shy girl, he might have thought the opposite of what had been ruminating for months, or rather that the tech had a crush to the new guy. But he was not so stupid and then he had seen her with the others, even if almost practically hidden and the attitude was quite different from what she had with him. She laughed, joked, always smiled, made fun of them by calling them with affectionate nicknames and others that probably only they knew. Even Hotch didn’t seem to be immune to the rite and was called “boss” with militaristic meaning. In addition, avoid him didn’t consist in keeping her eyes down when they crossed mistakenly in the corridor together, indeed, the few times that their eyes met, Penelope was never the one who lowered gaze first, but her expression suggested a kind of hate, what hate couldn’t be because this feeling takes time to bloom like love, rather we could talk about unjustified antipathy.

Or at least it remained until he had decided to ask the remaining members of the profiler section of the BAU. Unexpectedly, it was the last arrival, Emily, to put an end to his “sufferings”, explaining that she wasn’t angry with him, that he could also be the pope, the president of the United States or even David Bowie (he would have understood those things only later), in any case Penelope hated his role or rather the fact that he had taken that role, that place, or that which was until recently of Derek Morgan. From here she had begun to tell a series of memories, interspersed with anecdotes of others, who in the meantime had added since there were no cases to examine. Fortunately, Agent Garcia was home sick. From the various fragments, Luke had painstakingly made a global picture and finally understood everything. Agent Morgan had been “the hero” par excellence, especially for Penelope. He had climbed into an ambulance and risked blow up to save the lives of many people, including his colleagues; he was able to overcome a personal trauma not unimportant (but what kind they hadn’t absolutely wanted to tell him) and derive the strength to continue his work. But above all, he had always worried about his “baby girl” (epithet that first made him turn up his nose), he had tried to protect from the evils that they fought together. At this point it had seemed obvious to him asking how long they had been together and everyone had looked at him with shocked faces, before bursting out laughing. -Never.- JJ had finally answered, and then she had added more quietly -at least not officially.- he had thus come to know the epilogue of the idyll: Morgan had found a woman who had put an end to his being a playboy, a wife and he had settled down, creating a new life, then his wife had been kidnapped and he had decided that his family would no more be been put at risk by his job. End.

From that moment it was him who had stopped try to have a friendly relationship with Penelope, because now that he knew, he had absolutely no idea how to exploit the information in his possession. In other words, the thought that she had avoided him through no fault of his own, but because she was obsessed with the idea of ​​someone who was no longer, it was something too difficult to overcome. The Fate, however, was put in the middle and so, to make it short, they had found themselves in a situation where there was no way to avoid each other and in the end, after spending an hour exchanging secret and challenging looks, Luke had exploded and told her that he had never intended to replace her marvelous Derek Morgan, so he had headed for the exit, contravening Prentiss’s orders, which became after the death of Hotch the new chief of the unit, since Rossi had refused and JJ or Spencer didn’t seem suitable. Penelope had taken a little too many seconds to get out of the catalepsy she had fallen into, but then, just in time, she had managed to come back to life to stop him. And she had simply apologized for behaving so unjustly with him. She hadn’t cried, nor begged him. In a calm voice, she limited himself to explaining the situation to him (unaware that he already knew the plot) and then she had kept silent, probably waiting for him to let off steam, telling her who knows what. Instead, Luke gave her a quiet smile and gently touched her shoulder in a friendly gesture, and then said, -Let’s do what we came here to do.-

From that time there were no more real problems between them. Their relationship had grown to the point of turning in mutual trust, even though she always seemed distant when they met out of work context, as if she were afraid of going too far … without either of them really knowing where they wanted to go. Every now and then, Luke had the impression that Penelope didn’t see him but his predecessor because it was painting on her face a strange expression of joyous melancholy, where the sad component eventually prevailed. And he couldn’t help but wait for her to return to the real world.

As in this exact moment.

-Penelope… are you there ?- he doesn’t call her with any particular appellation, even if sometimes he would like to. He’s afraid of what might happen, although they’ve known each other for over a year, and she once told him she’d talked to Derek, about his life in Chicago, his baby, apparently as if she had overcome her “problem”. But the reality is very different, and Luke knows it.

-Sorry…. I was thinking of something that I dreamed the other night…- seeing a strange nuance in the expression of him, she hastens to specify -not of that kind, maniac!- and she lets away a laugh that only some time ago she would never have had the courage to do, as if Derek had taken away from her the right to be happy without him. -It’s a fairly recurring dream, but nothing classic, like falling to infinity… it’s about- and as soon as Luke catches her expression he understands that she’s about to tell him something important, so he becomes more careful and involuntarily even closer. -A sudden awakening, I’m anguished, I feel that there is something wrong, but without knowing what it’s, then a sudden idea illuminates me. Where are my parents? Inside of me I know the answer and yet pass a few but still very long minutes before I can remember that it’s useless to get excited and wait for them, because they are… dead, when I was eighteen… I told you that already, or not?- he, who was absorbed and completely absorbed by her evocative ability, emerges from the water and shakes his head. -Ah…- moment of embarrassment. -There often happens to me to have… this nightmare, the worst thing are those seconds when I haven’t yet realized the truth, because combined with the anxiety of expectation, there is indissolubly a damn and useless hope… sorry, sorry if I have harassed you with this story… you’ll be tired, you just came back from an intense case … – he is about to reply that she has been engaged in it, but then he lets it go.

-Don’t apologize. I’m interested.- he would say I’m interested in you, but for now he only allowed himself to look at her closely, but not too much. Foreshortening.

The acute shrill breaks the apparent quiet of the evening.

-Love, could you go?- what at first glance would seem a classic and quiet phrase, conceals hidden subtests, which only a trained ear can grasp. The man snorts and, knowing he isn’t seen, unleashes his frustration on the cards he was previously filling out, throwing them into the air, while aware that he’ll have to fix everything on his return. But the momentary euphoria in doing a wrong act repays the further future effort. When he reaches the object of the call, it’s visible only a warm smile on his face.

-Hello, little one, Daddy’s love, how are you?- that little creature so defenseless is also his merit, but is still hard to convincing himself. Another cry, this time female, destroys the atmosphere of mild tranquility that had been created. He snorts again, then tries to pretend nothing is happened, but it seems that tonight nothing wants to give him respite.

-Derek! It’s your phone, could you come and pick up the phone?- he goes quickly towards the voice, throwing a last glance at the bundle wrapped in blankets. He doesn’t even imagine that a ghost of the past (yet still so present, although he has tried in vain to deny it) is going to make it shake forcefully. He takes the device from his wife’s hands and responds in his classic way.

-Morgan.- there is a moment of silence before he hears someone speak from the other end of the line.

-Derek, I… I hope not to bother you…- he is about to interrupt her. Emily. It’s not like her call so late, without a reason… And he immediately realizes everything. Even before the woman can pronounce what he fears. -I… I would not ask you if it wasn’t really necessary. You should… be able to come here… to Quantico.-

-Why?- he finally manages to ask.

-Garcia… Penelope was kidnapped.-

Here, exactly what I feared. How did I know it was about her? It’s… it’s been months since I can’t think about how strange it’s not to see her every morning, don’t joke with her on the phone. It’s more than a year that someone doesn’t call me chocolate thunder. I would have needed her so much, few months ago, since… it’s too hard to think about it. She would have helped me, she would have been able to say the right words… He doesn’t need Prentiss to talk to remember everything suddenly. Penelope has been kidnapped. My baby girl is in danger, right now she could be… I can’t even say it in my head. I have to… I have to pack, pack a bag, I have to tell Savannah… Savannah. -I’ll get there as fast as I can.- and put down the phone. The brunette woman stops doing what she was doing and turns to him.

-Derek, where you are going?-

-Savannah, Emily called me… Garcia has been kidnapped and they need me to go to Quantico.- he tries to use a tone as quiet as possible, while the wheels of his brain go to a thousand per hour, thinking about  where it’s going to go.

-But you’re no longer part of the team, you’re not longer a federal. What do you have to do? - already feels the frustration make its way in the body of the woman he should most want.

-I still have some knowledge, I know some things that can help…- he sees anger rise to her eyes and finally explode.

-You don’t really know anything! You are no longer a profiler. Morgan, listen to me. If you go there I…- he has no more time to waste and certainly has no patience to gently convince his half of the need for his intervention. Or perhaps he simply doesn’t have the courage to say what he really feels, and he knows that she is aware, but he is convinced that until it’s pronounced aloud, that reality can’t be materialized.

-Do not say it.- he comes out more like a threat than the supplication he originally intended to express. -Savannah, I have to go.- a significant pause -I love you.- he lays a very quick kiss on her cheek. He feels a pain in his chest as he looks at her, but it’s not because he told a lie. Love is much more complicated than what one would like to believe. Much more stratified and complex.

________________________________

TAGS: @arses21434 @kathy5654 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta   @myhollyhanna23 @garvezz  @shyladystudentfan @cosmicmelaninflower @avengerquake123vanuusims  @inlovewithgarvaz @the-ellen-stuff

[bohemian-rhapsody-slash]

Inspired By The trans!Brian Ask (Maylor)

Thanks for the submission @deep-dark-purple!

*****

I reached my ask limit I was vaguely aware that was a thing but had never had it occur. I was inspired like I've never written this much in one sitting ever. Full stop. I just had to get it out. I couldn't stop thinking about that AU. If you want me to finish submitting via asks as well I can do it later tonight Though I can't remember how many parts I was able to send so I would send the last half. 

(Yeah you read that right it’s 20 parts but I don't think its narrative structure is how I would like it for posting so editing is required and there's no way I'm doing that.) This was inspired by the trans!Brian post. Surprisingly Brian has been presenting as male since he was about 4 which is very young even now a days. This was due to Brian's behavior, it was getting more and more troubling and it started not long after his 3rd birthday. At first, they wrote it off as a phase. 1/20

They hoped he would just get passed it soon but after 6 months it became clear that wasn't going to happen. He would have tantrums whenever Ruth tried to dress him in, he refused to play with most of his toys because "there too girly." They thought that if they took away the only ones he would play with he would then start playing with the other toys (those toys happened to be gender neutral and space themed in hindsight Brain realizes that’s why he studied astrophysics. 2/20

Those toys were his refuge the only things that didn’t make him feel “wrong”.)  To say that plan is failure is an understatement. He would break them or try to throw them away. Within the week they gave his toys back by then he didn't even have any other toys to play with. Plus, they couldn't stand seeing Brian so distraught for any longer. Brian stopped responding to his name and would only acknowledge that someone was talking to him was if they were using a gender-neutral pet name. 3/20

This was the most troubling to his dad since he had been calling him princess since before he was born. So hearing Brian yell that he isn't his princess was like a punch in the gut but he thought it wasn't like they can just "pretend" that he was a boy. Right? That was a revolution to Brian's mom though. She has had to deal this much more then Brian's dad so she was willing to try anything but Brian's dad is like "we absolutely will not do that" and she didn't consider going against him. 4/20

Soon after that conversation Brian's tantrums started to involve hurting himself and that was her breaking point. The thought that she could lose Brain when it was so hard to have him in the first place. She didn't care that it wasn't what her husband wanted because given the choice between the two of them she would pick her baby every time. They basically bent to everything he wanted so he could feel like a boy and the effect was immediate and it was such a relief.  5/20

They ask him what he wants to be called since he doesn't like what they've been calling him. He asks why they were calling the other name and they explained how naming works and since they thought he was a girl they picked it out for him. He responds to that by asking that since he is actually a boy what will be his name. Since “only mommies and daddies can pick names.” Plus, that is kind of a difficult question for someone so young. So, from then on, he was called Brian. 6/20

They didn't think that it would last but a few years later right before he was supposed to start school and Brian is "still" a boy. They ask him if he wants to be a girl when he goes to school and that conversation didn't go well to say the least. They decided that the best thing to do is to move somewhere that no one remembers that they had a daughter and now they have a son. They go all out, changing anything that says Brian is made to say that he's a boy. (easier in 1950s?) 7/20

The only issue that they could see arising is baby and toddler photos that are framed around the house. Ruth can't barre the thought of getting rid of them or hide them away. Plus, it would weird to only have pictures of him often the age 4 1/2. The explanation they came up with was that Ruth was pregnant with a girl and miscarried but soon after was pregnant with Brian. So they had all these girl clothes. Since money was a little tight and babies don't care about those things. 8/20

It also helped because no one is going to ask any follow up questions after hearing that it's having to do with a miscarriage. (I've also heard that sometimes parents of trans kids do feel grief after their kids transitions so it doesn't feel like as much of a lie since they feel like they lost a daughter but again I'm in no way an expert so take that with a grain of salt.) From there on out Brian has no issues in school and is a great student. The main issue is puberty. 9/20

 Thankfully his mom has become kind of unstoppable and even in the 60s they were able start Brian on hormones. A sympathetic doctor purposely misdiagnosed so even in the future he wouldn't have issues getting more without drawing attention to himself. Fast forward again to Roger's Smile audition which played out much the same as it did IRL but with one major exception. Brian is so jealous that Roger is so comfortable with himself. 10/20

 Roger has no issues with wearing women's clothes and having long hair and being so beautiful that he is mistaken for a woman more often than not. Wait, scratch that last one. I shouldn't think about him like that, he's a band mate and a guy. No matter how charming and funny he is and they sound great playing together. Queue gay crises (though I'm thinking him as demi in this AU and would make a lot of sense since this is his first crush he's even had, 11/20

So, considering that he doesn't have this realization until he's known Roger for more than a year and he's just noticed that his feelings started to change for Roger in the last month or so when Tim left the band. (I'm not going to bother with researching to see if that timeline works right. I've already spent way too much time on this as it is.)) Once he starts thinking about his feelings he can't stop. It's both the best and worst thing he's ever felt. 12/20

The pinning lasts nearly 6 months, during that time Brian gets upset whenever Roger brings someone home. Roger does notice it but thinks its jealousy because that was his aim. He thought that if he made Brian jealous so Brian would start having the same feelings he has. (mutual pinning!) After months of this he accepts that Brian won't ever think of him like that. So, Roger starts taking home guys instead of girls. He had always been discreet when it came to his male hookups. 13/20

Queue Freddie coming to the rescue. He is so over all this. When Roger starts bring home guys that look more and more like Brian, he feels like it's his duty to end this ridiculous situation. (this is where I'm blank I don't know how Freddie helps them get together but he does and never lets them forget it.) Brian does have Roger agree to taking it slow using all sorts of reasons with the exception of him being trans and a virgin (love me some experienced/inexperienced tropes) 14/20

Roger wants to be patient and he tries but he feels this is getting ridiculous and he doesn't want to push because he knows what that feels like and it sucks (I'm not bothering to figure out that this is already to long.) The biggest problem is he feels like Brian is keeping something from him but he thought it was just embarrassed about being inexperienced but then he brings it up during their nearly daily blue ball inducing make out session. 15/20

He tells Brian if that's what he's worried about he doesn't have to be. Basically, they finally have a conversation and Roger is really sweet and tells him about some of his not so great encounters so if anything, he's kind of grateful since that means he's never had to deal with that. (I'm thinking it was a bunch of different things and people that in retrospect he wasn't ready for.) Then he says whatever they do it would be a first for him since it would be with someone he loves. 16/20

That's the first time either of them had said that. It made Brian feel so guilty that he's been keeping something so big and it shows on his face so Roger backtracks because he realizes how that may sound like pressuring Brian considering what they were just talking about. Brian can't take Roger apologizing when this is all "his fault." Once Brian is able to get Roger to shut up Brian says that he loves him too which is why I need to tell you something. (super ominous) 17/20

I don't feel comfortable writing that confession since I'm not qualified to. Basically, Brian tries his best to explain everything (it's the first time he's ever done this) Brian says he understands if Roger wants to break up. Roger says he doesn't but he has a lot of questions. So, Brian says he'll answer anything he wants to ask since he's never felt more relieved. They talk for hours some questions are meant to make Brian laugh some are serious or insensitive. 18/20

They end up falling asleep on the couch cuddling. (They’ve been in the living room I never mentioned that. It's as per Brian's request, he thought it would be easier to keep themselves from going too far then if they were on a bed.) There is all lot of instances of dysphoria but Brian always does his best to explain what caused it so they can avoid it in the future. It still takes a while (like a few months) for them to work up to sex. After he asks Roger if it's always that good. 19/20

Roger says no it's not and that it's just him that made it good. (I know that's really cheesy but I don't care.) The whole thing is adorable. Other things in this AU: It's Roger that made Brian comfortable enough to grow out his hair which is why he keeps it the same for the rest of his life. Roger is bisexual here. Brian's dad is still disapproving he's worried about draw attention and what would happen if he was outed. This took me 4 hours but I needed to get it out somewhere. 20/20

[averagemarvelbitch]

Undercover Love / STONY

Summary: The hospital bills keep on coming and Steve doesn’t know how to help his mother. He decides the army is his best bet. Destiny has a different idea, though, and puts Dr. Erskine and Project Rebirth on his path. Soon, he becomes Captain America and a special forces SHIELD agent with a dream team, ready to take on even the most dangerous missions.

A few years later, Director Carter’s nephew is kidnapped by the Ten Rings and it’s Captain America and the Avengers to the rescue! Falling in love with said nephew wasn’t on Steve’s plans, but he isn’t complaining.

Director Carter might complain. If she ever finds out.

TAGS: Secret Agents AU / Stony / Alternate Universe

Chapters: 4/?

Read on AO3

---

Margaret Carter was proud to say that she had lived a very eventful and interesting life. She had become an agent of the Strategic Scientific Reserve in a time when woman were relegated to answering phones and taking messages, quickly proving her worth in every field mission and soon rising to become one of the most prominent agents in the history of said agency. Then, when the SSR ended, she joined her old friend, Howard Stark, and founded the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistic Division, also known as SHIELD, a peacekeeping organization whose primary goal was making the world a better place and fighting those who sought to destroy it. She had worked hard and relentlessly all her life, always focused on her work as the Director of SHIELD, making no time for love or romance. Margaret had never much cared about such things, had never really dreamed of a white picket fence with a lovely wife and a couple of children playing in the yard, not even when her darling Angie had been alive, God bless her soul. She simply did not have the time or the inclination to love and care for a child as a mother should. And she wholeheartedly believed that until the day Anthony Stark had been born.

Anthony had arrived on a Thursday, in the middle of one of the worst thunderstorms Malibu had seen in years. Peggy had arrived a few hours after the birth, absolutely soaking wet despite the umbrella poor Jarvis held for her all the way to the door.

“By God, Howard, how you can live in this godforsaken place is frankly beyond me”, she had complained, taking her shoes off at the door and graciously accepting a towel from Jarvis.

“Trust me, Peg, you’ll change your mind once the sun comes up and you see the beautiful view of the beach. There’s nothing like it”, Howard replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek with a smile that could light up an entire room.

“I doubt it. Now, where is my godson?”

During her pregnancy, Maria Stark had fallen victim to the newest tendency amongst the rich socialites of California: the all natural birth. She had insisted that little Anthony should be born in their home, surrounded by his loved ones as opposed to a hospital full of loud machines and strangers. She had nearly driven her husband insane with worry and, despite his very passionate speeches about her safety as well as the baby’s, she’d had the final word on the matter. And so, Anthony had been born in the mansion’s master bedroom, with the help of a very competent midwife and under Anna Jarvis’ watchful eye. Margaret heard the unhappy wails of the baby before she and Howard had even entered the room. The ever proper Maria held the baby awkwardly in her arms, looking nothing like the very composed socialite Margaret knew her to be, her eyes dropping lightly most likely from the tiredness brought by the very difficult birth.

“Would you like to hold him?” Maria asked in greeting as soon as her tired eyes landed on Margaret, carefully lifting the small, blue bundle in her arms in the brunette’s direction. She accepted the baby, cradling his head as she raised him closer to her own face.

“Hello, my darling Anthony. I’m your aunt Peggy”, she whispered softly to the baby, whose wails soon turned to quiet whimpers as he watched the beautiful woman with his big, brown eyes, “I’m the one you come to when your father is being terribly stupid. You’ll notice it tends to happen with surprising frequency”, she explained to the newborn baby, earning a faint laugh from Maria and a very annoyed hey from Howard himself. Margaret, however, heard none of it, too enthralled by the baby in her arms to pay attention to anything else. I will always be here, my dear, she promised him quietly with a kind smile, for whatever you may need.

Throughout the years, Margaret kept her promise. She was there for every birthday, every Christmas and every Easter. She taught her little boy how to behave like a proper gentleman and how to make proper tea.

“This tea is hot”, a very young Tony complained, grimacing as he swallowed the sweet liquid.

“Well, of course it’s hot, my darling. It’s tea. Tea is hot”, Margaret calmly explained, taking a sip from her own cup.

“Mommy and daddy always drink cold tea, it’s called iced tea. It’s really good!”

“That is not tea, dearest. That is filthy water with sugar. This”, she said, gesturing to their cups, “is tea. I’m surprised Mr. Jarvis hasn’t taught you that”.

Tony shrugged, taking another big gulp from his cup, “He always makes a funny face when mommy and daddy drink it, though”.

She smiled. “I’ll bet he does”.

She also taught him how to stand up for himself and, of course, how to throw a proper punch, a lesson that had gotten both of them in a lot of trouble when Tony came back from school with a purple eye and a proud smile and an exasperated Jarvis right behind him, waving a paper in which she could swear she read the word suspension. She took him to zoos, and picnics, and parks. She told him stories about secret spies who fought for a better world and fell in love with sassy waitresses. She spent hours on the phone, listening as the young boy recounted his day and shared with her everything that had happened. They were inseparable, even when separated by thousands of miles, and Margaret loved the boy more than she’d ever loved anything or anyone in her entire life, including her darling Angie, which was why, when that fateful call came, she dropped everything (including a very important meeting with the Minister of Defense) and went straight to Malibu, a whole new level of anger burning inside her chest all the way there.

It had been a Wednesday and a very busy day when the call came. She had been so focused on her conversation with Agent Fury that she’d almost missed the call. She quickly answered the phone, apologizing to the young agent for the interruption while assuring him it was too important a call to miss, and almost passed out with worry when she heard her darling boy sobbing on the other end of the like.

“Tony? Tony, my darling, what’s the matter?”

“Can you come pick me up? Please, aunt Peggy? I wanna leave”, he begged between sobs.

“My darling, what’s happening? Are you hurt?”

“Daddy is angry with me and he’s scary and Jarvis is not here, please, Aunt Peggy?”

Margaret was already on her feet, telling Fury to secure her a jet right that moment while trying to calm her godson down at the same time.

“Where are you right now, dearest?”

“I’m in my room. Please, please, will you come here, please?” the child begged once more, sniffling.

“I’m on my way, my dear. I’ll be there as soon as possible, you hear me? You stay in your room, alright?”

She called Jarvis as soon as Tony hung up, desperately trying to reach the butler who did not pick up the phone. She would later find out that Jarvis was busy receiving the most disturbing news in the hospital, being held by his crying wife as the doctor explained his chances of survival. In that moment, however, she couldn’t help but curse the butler as she sat on the plane, worried sick about her darling boy who had sounded so terrified over the phone. She arrived at Malibu a few hours later, taking a cab to the mansion. Margaret wasn’t stupid. Howard and she had been friends for many years, a friendship that had started based on their mutual desire to prove their worth in a world that constantly told them they were not enough. She knew the man’s qualities and she knew his flaws. On her last visits, she had noticed how there was always a glass of scotch attached to Howard’s hand, how fast he lost his inhibition, slurring his words as he talked about lost hope and business difficulties. But, most of all, she had noticed how his eyes always seemed to narrow every time he turned his attention to Anthony.

Margaret entered the mansion without as much as a greeting to whoever had opened the door, marching purposefully up the stairs and straight to her godson’s bedroom. From the end of the corridor, she saw Howard banging his hand on the door of said bedroom, screaming obscenities, a bottle of scotch securely on his hand. He barely had time to turn his head towards the sound of clacking high heels on the wooden floor before he felt his nose break under Margaret’s fist. Howard fell backwards like a sack of potatoes and did not move anymore. The maid standing behind him screamed, hands on each side of her face, eyes wide in terror.

“That is quite enough of screaming, thank you very much”, Margaret reprehended the women, who kept staring at her like she had just grown another head, “Take Howard to his bedroom and make sure to leave some aspirin by his bedside, I’m sure he’ll need it later”.

She knocked softly on the door. “Anthony? Everything is alright now, my darling. Open the door”.

She heard the lock turning and gasped when the door opened, revealing her little boy. Anthony had a very red mark the size of a hand in his right cheek and the skin around his right eye was slowly turning purple. Margaret wanted to scream. She wanted to march into Howard’s bedroom and tear him limb by limb. She wanted to take Anthony away from that house and keep him safe and sound. Instead, she did the only thing she could do. She scooped the young boy in her arms, whispering soothing words in his ear as he cried, scared and confused as to why his father, the man who was supposed to love and protect him, would cause him such suffering. Margaret stayed there the whole afternoon, holding the little boy in her arms until Jarvis arrived. He had heard from the maid what had transpired in his absence and went straight for the little boy’s room, quickly taking him from his godmother’s arms, apologizing to his young sir for not being there when he had needed him most. His words were calm and soothing, but Margaret could see the anger burning in his eyes. It was good to know she wasn’t the only one enraged by what had happened.

Later that night, she and Howard talked. She shouted at him, her anger getting the best of her, even going as far as threatening to take Anthony away from them. And that was when everything changed. Howard stood up from his chair, a cold expression in his face as he informed Margaret that, should she try such thing, he would have no problem exposing her preferences to the public. She knew exactly what he meant, although it was hard to believe a man she had once called friend would use such thing against her. It would bring me no pleasure, Peggy, he had said in a firm tone, but I’d do it. That boy will carry my legacy and you will not take him from me, you hear me? And so, that day, Margaret and Howard’s friendship had ended. The Director of SHIELD knew she stood no chance. The world wasn’t yet ready to embrace the love between two women and should word of her love life get out, Margaret would lose everything she had fought for her entire life, including access to her darling Anthony. That day, Howard promised to never again lay a hand on the boy, but she knew that wasn’t enough. She could see the man her friend had become; his cold eyes said it all. She knew there would be other forms of abuse and she would have to watch, helpless, as this shell of a once great man destroyed her darling boy’s spirits, unable to protect him from it. That day, Margaret’s heart broke in a thousand pieces, never to be fixed again.

And so the years had passed as she watched the abused bestowed upon her godson. Anthony, however, never once lost his natural glow. He stood his ground, staring at his father in defiance, never once wavering. Margaret could not be more proud of her darling boy. But as Anthony grew, his sense of self worth diminished. He thought of himself as unlovable. After all, if his own parents did not care for him, then how could anyone else? And no matter what Margaret or Jarvis or Ana did, they could not convince the young boy that he was loved and it broke their hearts a little bit more every day. As time went by, Jarvis passed away, Anna soon following him. Anthony was sent to a boarding school, where he spent every holiday season alone. At first, he would call his godmother every day. After a while, the calls became rarer and rarer until one day they simply stopped coming. And Margaret wept, unable to do anything but watch her boy from afar. She sent him cards and gifts for him birthday and Christmas. She called frequently, although Anthony rarely answered. She had expressed just how proud she was of him when he joined MIT at fifteen and stood there in the middle of the crowd, applauding him when he received his diploma, his parents nowhere to be found. She was there to hold his hand as people from all around the country paid their respects to Maria and Howard Stark. What a privilege it must have been to be raised by such incredible people, they would say and Anthony would nod, trying so very hard to hold the tears that threatened to fall from his big, brown eyes. Despite her best efforts, Margaret was unable to shield her darling boy of the horribleness of the world and she hated herself for it.

---

Margaret was walking from one side to the other, the clack of her high heels hitting the cold floor echoing through the empty corridor.

“They are late”, she complained, her English accent much more accentuated, as it usually happened when she was angry or nervous.

Before Agent Hill could answer, the doors on the far side of the corridor opened to reveal a very dirty Anthony on a wheelchair, followed closely by his Lieutenant friend and the Captain himself. Margaret quickly walked towards her godson, kissing his bandaged forehead carefully.

“My darling boy, you are the reason half my hair has gone white”, she said with a smile and tears in her eyes. Anthony smiled back at her.

“Sorry, auntie. Oh, and, next time, please send a better team? I had to do all the work myself”, he complained halfheartedly.

Margaret shook her head with a quiet laugh, kissing his forehead once more before letting Rhodes take him to the bedroom, “I’ll be with you in a minute, Anthony”, she promised, watching both man disappear into the corridor before turning to Steve, a very serious expression in her face, “I received your report, Captain. It seems we’ve both come to the same conclusions”.

“The Lieutenant Colonel was the one who brought it up, ma’am. But he doesn’t believe the leak came from the soldiers or anyone in the Air Base”.

“I agree. The Ten Rings were too well informed. I believe someone very powerful paid them to eliminate my godson. I have my suspicions, but I can’t be certain”, she said with a thoughtful expression, glancing to the room where Anthony and Rhodes were, “Did Anthony see your faces?”

“No, ma’am. The Winter Soldier, Hawkeye and I remained with our faces covered the entire time. The Black Widow, however, was exposed”.

“Good. Romanoff is an excellent spy and I have a job that she would perfect for. You three, however, will have a different mission. I believe that whoever made an attempt on my godson’s life will most likely try again. He must be watched carefully. However, knowing Anthony as I do, he will outright refuse a bodyguard”, she explained, and then smiled at the Captain, “Tell me, Rogers, have you ever gone to college?”

---

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[animatedpileofbones]

DA q's!! 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 14, 17, 25, 33, 34, 37, 40, 42, 47, 51, 52, 60, 63, 66, 77, 78, 79, 98, and 99~! (◠‿◠✿)

eli i love you man here we go, this is long sorry but i have a Lot To Say! i literally wrote like 1500 words for these so it’s under a readmore.

1 how did you get into dragon age

i was on tumblr when inquisition came out and a lot of my friends and mutuals at the time suddenly became dragon age blogs for a while (some still are, howdy!) yEARS later i found origins on discount at gamestop and decided to check it out and whoops now i’m a fucking mess forever :)

4 about my warden(s)

My first, and most recently rehashed* warden was Gwinek, she was a casteless dwarf rogue, dual wielder. I didn’t know there were specific temperaments in this game like in 2 but I play her as gruff but fiercely loyal. She would do almost anything for her friends and sister, but is very naive in matters of magic. She romanced Leliana.

*rehashed because I came to the series completely blind, and as such made some not so great choices the first time around.

I also have an elven mage, named Lemmen, she was also a big helpy helperton but slow to trust. She romanced Alistair and I don’t like to think about that sacrifice. :’)

5 about my hawke(s)

My first Hawke was Marcel, a dual wielding rogue and I played him purple. He is big into his friends, obviously, but mostly just wants to be liked despite the fact that he is accidentally an asshole sometimes. He romanced Fenris. All my Hawkes romance Fenris. I love Fenris just so much and I keep telling myself one of these times I’m going to romance Isabela but then Fenris walks in all drama and vengeance and I’m just too gay to handle it. My latest Hawke was Lucien, a… purple dual-wielding rogue. He erred on the side of blue, though, whereas Marcel was vaguely red, so. Not Entirely the same but view my problem, especially going into...

6 about my inquisitor(s)

My first inquisitor was Vodahl Cadash, a… dwarven dual-wielding rogue. :) He was pretty anti-chantry but was also more invested in taking care of his crew than making enemies, preferring to let Josephine handle PR and just say what she told him to say while he supported his team as he saw fit. He lived for life on the road, mostly, an adventurer type, but whatever his inner circle needed, they got. He romanced The Iron Bull, because I’m a thirsty thirsty bitch. I rehashed the dwarven rogue in Heraht, this time romancing Dorian; Heraht was much more enamored with surface life, not necessarily Ferelden-style though. He was well manicured and a bit on the sarcastic side of charming. Right now i’m playing a human sword-and-shield warrior, Errol Travellyan, and he is accidentally just Dorian But From The Free Marches in personality. He can be easily frustrated, I play him fairly no nonsense at times but he’s trying to maintain his Approachable Facade. He’s…. also romancing Dorian OH NO

7 favorite origins backstory

Oooh this is tough because I love Leliana so much, and Alistair just makes me cry all the time I Love That Man, ooh this is tough but I think I have to say Morrigan. She is a story gift that keeps on giving, and I think this is because of what we learned in Inquisition. Without that info, I think… OH NO WAIT IT’S SHALE, HANDS DOWN IT’S SHALE

11 best hawke quote

it’s not specifically a quote but when you bring the viscount’s son back in act 1 and you can either keep your mouth shut about their disagreement or Well Actually yourself into that conversation, that’s my favorite.

14 favorite origins party combo

Before you get Shale, it’s Alistair, Leliana, and the dog. After Shale, it’s Shale, Leliana, and either Zevran or Alistair.

17 mabari name

In Origins, I named the mabari after a person from the backstory. For Gwinek it was Leske to keep her friend with her even now. For Lemmen it was Jowan, because at least the mabari would never let her down. In DA2, it was a family pet, so for Marcel it was named Champion, and for Lucien it was Handsome Cal, and you can envision all sorts of titles in there but I didn’t have enough characters. Lord Handsome Cal Esquire III (he was the first)

25 favorite inquisition place

It’s the Hissing Wastes for sure. It’s always dusk, it’s so vast and beautiful. I love just hanging out there.

33 favorite dragon age character overall

Hey Eli? I hate this question! I am doing my current playthrough solely for the benefit of Leliana this is true. But I have a horrible weakness for two (2) men, Fenris and The Iron Bull, I can’t choose between them, and also Varric, and, asdlfjasdf how could you do this to me? I also identify very heavily with Dorian, and, I’m going to just cry instead of answer this, how about that?

34 least favorite character

Oh it’s Anders no doubt, no question, I hate him. I hate him so much. Like don’t get me wrong, I am in full support of mages taking back their space in Thedas, I just. Have known guys like Anders and the way he hits on f!Hawke like immediately after his intro quest, y’know where we had to kill his boyfriend? felt so bad and just turned my mild irritation into full-on hate.

37 blood magic yes/no

Nope.

40 moment/action i regret in game

Just like everything with the ending of Origins. I don’t prefer to do the ritual with Morrigan because I tend to play women which means I need to coerce Alistair into doing it and I did that for exactly two savestates (one being my Cousland because I wanted to see how that went and then the first time around with Gwinek) thinking “this is the best long term post-game choice! Neither of us have to die! And I’m not even making him be king!” despite it sitting bitterly in the back of my mind the rest of the series. then comes Inquisition and the full consequences of my actions hit me like a brick in the face and I eventually scrapped that playthrough and went back and didn’t be a shithead shitbag, replaying Gwinek entirely so that choice wouldn’t have even begun to make sense to her. I regret that so much.

42 who do i wish i could romance

VARRIC “PARAGON OF MANLINESS” TETHRAS

47 best antagonist

Arl Rendon Howe from Origins, cos he was voiced by Tim Curry and that was just so sexy of a choice. In all seriousness though, Meredith from da2.

51 favorite warden/hawke/inq headcanon any/all

Lucien Hawke routinely had sleepovers at his estate in Hightown. He tried to a couple times while living with Gamlen, but everyone was too sad to indulge him.

Heraht nearly breaks up with Dorian on a near weekly basis whenever Dorian accidentally lumps him in with the Fereldens re: hygiene. Also, not a headcanon but just the way I played but the two of them absolutely had coordinating outfits at all times.

Gwinek shared tents with Wynne most nights, finding in Wynne the mother she wished she and Rica would have had.

Also with Gwinek, she may have helped her sister’s paramour become king but she doesn’t trust him half as far as she can throw him and comes down to Orzammar on the regs to make sure he’s treating Rica right, and he knows damn well that Gwinek put him into that throne and she Will take him back out of it, and he can’t do shit without risking absolute chaos. 

This is also a good time to mention my ot3s: Hawke/Fenris/Isabela, Heraht/Dorian/Bull

52 favorite npc headcanons

Fenris took to reading rather easier than Hawke would have guessed, only Hawke didn’t know just how well Fenris had taken to it until years into their relationship because Fenris thought the “lessons” were cute.

The Iron Bull introduced hot cocoa to Skyhold and literally changed so many lives in that moment; quartermaster Morris pulled so many strings to get marshmallows in, and when they arrived the first time the celebration was almost a riot.

60 who do i wish had been given more story

Weird to say for the woman who had her own Origins DLC and also was pivotal in Inquisition, but Morrigan. She’s just really interesting to me. Also, Warden Stroud. I think he was just there to be the Easy Low Stakes Choice to leave in the Fade honestly but I hated not having a reason to care about him. I didn't play any da2 dlc tho.

63 best story moment

This is tough? I enjoyed the landsmeet in origins. I think most of da2 was great story. Except Orsino obviously. I think I’m just going to point to all of da2. Yeah.

66 something i hate about any of the games

it can’t seem to decide how it feels about the qunari. also that there are characters that absolutely are not straight that the writers decided Actually, Despite Everything, They Are Straight Actually :’)

77 what moment/memory still gives me chills/feels

Definitely definitely Dorian’s confrontation with his dad. That was so well acted, I felt that pain and betrayal so viscerally. It hurts every time. As for a different brand of chills, y’know when if you seduce The Iron Bull and stuff finally starts happening there, and he lifts the inquisitory by the wrists in One Hand and remember I was playing a dwarf, oo golly that shit is All I Need In Life

78 what am i hoping for in da4

More magic and Old Gods and stuff! More Morrigan? Familiar faces!

79 what am i worried about for da4

Familiar faces! :’) Also just so heavyhanded “morally gray” issues that is actually just bad edgy writing. Worried we will be racelocked like in 2 :(

98 if i could be any non human da species which/why

Dwarf, because halflings don’t exist in thedas and dwarves are fairly industrious as a culture

99 where would i live

Despite what I just said, I would probably live somewhere in the Free Marches! Kirkwall ended up pretty fucked and I am absolutely biased because da2 was my favorite.

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

St. Vincent by Immo Klink for Spex Magazin für Popkultur #376 (September/October 2017)

English translation thx to a lovely L chat anon: After the success of her last album, what's next for St. Vincent? Three years, a Grammy, a successful series of concerts complete with weirdo costumes, her own guitar design for people with breasts and a magazine cover with Marc Jacobs. "New York" is her latest haunting single that yearns for older times, and expresses love for her adoptive home. The song's style also refers back to the musical simplicity of Clark's previous work. An uncomfortably hot Summer day in London would have passed as some bizarre fever dream, if before the release of her latest, and as of yet untitled new album, St. Vincent was drinking Berlin beer with our editors and happily giving the inside scoop. Despite meticulous planning prior to the interview in July, its spontaneous nature meant it was hard to know what to ask. Annie had recorded two purposefully blurred guitar songs, one to be discussed before the conversation and one during. A female assistant dressed in a black cape and some extravagant shoe-work acted as door woman to the entrance of a room at Park Studios containing a wooden box, the inside of which was painted neon pink. Inside sat Clark like a high priestess in black light. An appropriate setting to share secrets. However, she is at first rather silent when asked concrete questions about new songs, but in the end the setting works conclusively. The discomfort is part of the concept. Interviewer: Annie, thank you very much for the mysterious reception. Will you now foresee my future? Annie: (laughs) We will see. I: It smells very good in here. Is that incense? A: The scent is coming from a candle. Meetings should be an experience for all the senses. I: You said once that for every album you've had a figure in your head around which all themes have been built. For Strange Mercy it was alcohol dependence, the bored housewife, with St. Vincent a cult leader. What has been in your consciousness regarding these songs? A: Manic Panic meets Poison Ivy from The Cramps. I: We are currently sitting in a pink, florescent box. There seems to be a color concept happening here. A: Yes, the color palette for this album is completely florescent. Florescent colors are very bright and at first seem cheerful, but can soon become too intense and then aggressive. This is exactly like my coming album. I: Would you consider this album to be the logical next chapter following St. Vincent? A: I don’t know whether you can apply logic to music. Before I wrote the new songs I knew only three things. I wanted the songs to be strong and powerful. I wanted to programme beats. And I wanted a steel-pedal guitar. I began with these three anchors. I: Most of social media expressed surprise regarding the fact that New York was not a guitar-based song. A: Really? I put so much guitar in it. I: So was it your plan to not make a rock record? A: I’ve never done it before. I definitely wanted to have big guitar moments on the album. Have I ever really made a rock record? So far very few people have heard the new songs, and there isn’t much known about the album. I’m looking forward to the interpretations and criticisms. But if someone doesn’t feel it’s a guitar record, should we not question both possible realities? I: Possibly. Do you already have an album title? A: Yes, but I still can’t reveal it to you. I: Perhaps then we can speak about something more tangible. You current tour is named after one of your new songs “Fear the Future”. A: This is intended to as an order; be afraid of your future! I: What should we be afraid of? A: Oh boy! We are living in insane times, and it’s only getting worse. I don’t know if you’ve heard: America has chosen Donald Trump, a woman hater and compulsive liar, as its president. America has said to someone like this: “You seem to be the right leader!” I: Do you believe Trump will complete the four years of his term? A: That would shock me. The countless scandals within the first six month of his presidency have sustainably ruined his reputation. Besides, I don’t have the impression that being President suits him very well. The only possibility we have of getting rid of this fear of the future is to name these things. “Fear the Future” means I am trying to regain control and make something constructive out of all the chaos. I: What strategies do you follow in order to cope with these fears? A: I don’t sit around all day worrying about the future. Today more than ever the personal is political, and the political has become personal. A lot of us move around in this world alone, meanwhile for many people it is a political act - for a great many marginalised people it is naturally the latter case. I have long thought about what I can do. Some of my friends are politically active, for example in the Black-Lives-Matter movement, or have previously worked for Obama’s administration. It seems to me most sensible to use the platform I have with my music to, for example, raise money for Planned Parenthood or other charitable organisations. I: At the beginning of this year you celebrated your directorial debut with the premiere of The Birthday Party. You chose to present your film not as horror, but as a black comedy. What role does humour play when it comes to fear? A: The absurd is definitely our zeitgeist. To go further, to drive the whole thing to the extreme, can be incredibly funny. I: Does this exaggeration work for you as catharsis? A: Definitely. The album deals with the themes of power and seduction in such a striking way that one could almost feel it as fraud. Sexuality is no simple matter, but I present it in a very obvious way, wherin there is also a lot of humour. I: I also heard the new songs as asking for a conquest. A: Songs sagen manchmal mehr über denjenigen aus, der sie hört, als über den Künstler. Ich kann also nichts, dafür,, wenn Sie überall Vaginas sehen (laughs). I: With all the careful production before release, does it not bother you if you feel you are misunderstood? A: I put a lot of time and energy into this record. I love this album. However once it is released there is nothing I could possibly say or do to make you love it just as much. That is out of my hands, and that’s the way it should be. It is no longer mine, it belongs to everyone who hears it. I can at most give you a pair of important details: I recorded majority of the album in my studio in Los Angeles. The rest I recorded in New York. I: In New York you give a nostalgic look back at a place that appears to no longer exist. Is New York still the city you… A: ...love the most at heart? Absolutely! You know, every love is complicated. For me it simply stopped being my main place of residence. In the end I started spending a lot of time back in Texas, or I was working in my studio in LA, so just wasn’t in New York anymore. I: Nostalgia can also be another way of reacting to current unpleasantness in the world - a very comfortable one. A: I have a terrible memory, therefore nostalgia doesn’t really work for me. I don’t think the past tense is all that helpful anyway. Of course can learn from their mistakes, this has made the history of mankind. Earlier grief is inflicted again and again, but prevents us from moving forward. I: A common thesis states that certain adverse circumstances can strengthen cohesion and solidarity in disadvantaged communities. A: Yes, but the most important thing for marginalised people now is to not fight one another. A byproduct of patriarchy is women fight other women. That helps no one. I: In Germany there is a lot of hostility among left currents, when their principles really belong together in solidarity. For example in feminist circles. A: Yet feminism is not a fixed idea, it is constantly changing. There is place for diverse stances. Feminist ideas find themselves in an ever wider context, on which they may have stumbled along the way. At home, I also know that women are mutually shamed, because one does not correspond to the ideal. It is unhelpful to argue about whoever embodies feminism. I myself do not engage myself with a group, but prefer to let actions speak. Being a strong, independent woman is for me the strongest sign. (A bell sounds) I: Is our time already up? A: Almost. I have a few answers recorded. Would you like to hear? I: Of course! A: (Plays around with her mobile phone until a distorted voice rings out) “David Byrne’s brain is a national treasure.” (noise) “The name St. Vincent comes from a Nick Cave song called ‘There Goes My Beautiful World’. It refers to the line ‘And Dylan Thomas died drunk in St. Vincent’s Hospital’.” (noise) You knew that, or you would have said so. Thank you for not asking. I: You’re welcome. But since we’re talking about names: Who is this Johnny you keep singing about? A: Johnny is a recurring character who has accompanied me for three albums now. For me he’s like a friend, a family member and a fiance. I: But now he lives on the street. A: There’s always hope.

______________________________ Buy the issue here Original translation post from L Chat

[msbigredmachine]

The Mechanic - A Roman Reigns One-Shot

An impromptu trip to a service station leads to an encounter with a sexy mechanic. Her car isn’t the only thing he works on. Roman Reigns/OC.

Comments will be greatly appreciated!

"No, no! Not now, goddamn it!" Anya smacked her hand on the dashboard, which was showing her bad news. The check engine light had come on out of nowhere, and before she knew it her car had stuttered into a complete standstill on the side of the road. "Great, just great," she griped. 

Her 2005 Chevy Impala always seemed to have one issue or the other. In the past year, the alternator had given up, then the air-conditioning had died on her, and now it was obviously the engine’s turn. The car was just a goddamn mess, and her former quack of a mechanic hadn’t helped matters either. But berating him was not going to solve her current dilemma. She still had a couple more errands to run, and she was yet to get her grocery shopping done. But now, the car wouldn't crank anymore, and worse, it was a Sunday. She didn’t know many service stations that were open on Sundays.

Anya’s only saving grace this late morning was that the car had died about four blocks away from a service station. Remembering that, she made a decision then and there, and she grabbed her purse, climbed out of the car and headed down the other direction towards the shop. She was so glad she started going to church again. The good Lord had obviously answered her prayers to get her out of this mess.

The service station looked deserted, with the small customer service desk and waiting room both empty. No customers were waiting around, and there didn't appear to be anyone working there. The garage bays were all open, but the sign on the front door read ‘Closed’. Anya sighed tiredly. She was so screwed. She’d walked all this way down, in her heels and her sundress, for nothing. How the heck was she getting home today? And what was she going to do with her car? 

 A deep voice sounded seemingly out of nowhere, interrupting her gloomy thoughts. "Can I help you, Miss?"

Startled, Anya spun towards the service bay, and on seeing the owner of the voice, her jaw slackened. For a moment, she thought she was dreaming. The man standing in front of Anya looked like a GQ model. Tall as hell, light-skinned with long dark hair, large, muscular arms, and the most beautiful face she had ever seen. His white t-shirt was thin and smeared with grease along with his arms and one side of his face, and his jeans were worn and streaked as well, but the only served to make him look sexier than he already clearly was.

Holy shit.  

"Miss?" he said, startling Anya from her trance. His eyes bored through hers, and a knowing smile had formed on his face. She could tell right away that he was used to women staring at him, and he was clearly enjoying the attention. Anya wanted to smack herself for being so obvious. She didn’t mean to stare, but man… "Oh, I'm sorry," she tried to recover, focusing on his eyes so her own wouldn’t wander down his body again. "My car’s engine just died a couple of blocks from here. You work here, right? Please tell me you’re open today."  

The tall glass of water nodded with a smile. "You’re in luck, Miss. We’re open for the next three hours or so. I can go get the wrecker around back so we can pick up your car. Wanna come along for the ride?"  

“Sure!” Anya blurted out, and then cringed inwardly for sounding so eager. If he noticed, he ignored it, merely laughing and leading her around to the back of the station to the tow truck. As he helped her climb in, she said, “You’re a life saver. I had no idea how I was gonna get my car home.”  

“Like I said, you’re in luck,” the hottie said, “We actually don’t open on Sundays. I was just there to catch up on some work.” He glanced over in her direction for a brief moment. “I’m Roman, by the way.”

Roman. Quite apropos, as he looked a hella lot like the Roman gods of that era. “Anya. Nice to meet you,” she replied.

“Anya. That’s a beautiful name,” he complimented her with a dazzling smile, and Anya felt herself get warm all over. They got to her car, and she watched him load it onto the wrecker, observing how his muscles rippled the whole time as he worked. Once they got back to the station, he off-loaded the car into the nearest service bay. He opened the front door, popped the hood, and then went to the front of the car, looking under the hood to evaluate the problem. Anya stood by, staring at his fine, firm-looking ass as he bent over the front of the car.  

"Well, it looks like the car got a little overheated,” Roman assessed, his eyes still on the engine. “But it don’t look too badly damaged. I can get the car fixed in about an hour, two tops," he added, lifting his head to look at her. “Is that alright?”

Anya sighed with relief. “Of course. Oh thank God. That’s good news for sure.”

"Glad to hear,” said Roman. “Would you like a drink while you wait? Juice? Soda? Water? It’ll be on the house," he offered.

“Thanks, but I’m good. I just really wanna get this car issue sorted out as quick as possible.”

Roman smiled. “I understand. You probably got somewhere to be, maybe a date or something.”

Anya shook her head. “No, no date,” she clarified, feeling her face warm slightly. “Haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“Wow, that’s a surprise. I expected a beautiful woman like yourself would have guys tripping over themselves to get to know you.” His comment caught her completely off guard, and the look he gave her as he eyed her from head to toe sent a tingle down her spine, all the way down to the spot between her legs that had been smoldering ever since she first laid eyes on him. Would it be so forward if she told him she wanted to get to know him, in a far less appropriate, far more intimate way than he suggested? She chose to keep her mouth shut, only offering him a sweet smile in response.

The silence began to grow awkward, and Roman cleared his throat. “So, uh, how about you take a seat in our waiting room while I get started?” 

“Sounds good.”

Neither moved. The two continued to gaze at each other, and Anya felt a warm sensation in the pit of her stomach as she sensed the tension building between them. He would be doing much more than fixing her car if she didn't get out of here and let him do his job. She made her way to the waiting room and sat down, playing with her phone while her car was being repaired. From her vantage point, she could see Roman working. He seemed like he knew what he was doing, so she didn’t worry too much about her car. She would also occasionally look over at the man himself. She wasn’t in a relationship, so she had free reign to stare all she wanted. She didn’t think he was taken either, at least he didn’t give off that kind of vibe. He was so damn gorgeous though. His muscles, his hair, the big hands…she liked big hands. A lot. She guessed he was Polynesian, judging from his exotic features and the style of the tattoo that adorned his right arm. His t-shirt rode up a little, giving her a glimpse of the black briefs covering up that ass, and she imagined how firm they would feel in her hands. Feeling flushed, she shook away the naughty thoughts and concentrated on her phone.

After an hour had passed with no update on the progress of her car, she decided to go and check in on the mechanic. “Hey, how’s it going?”

Roman turned around, his eyes briefly flickering down to her legs as she approached him. “I think I’m done, actually,” he stated, ducking from under the hood and grabbing a clean napkin on the worktable next to him. “Wanna take a look?”

He watched Anya step forward to take a look inside the hood, placing herself at the center of the engine, and he felt himself get hard as he admired the view. The position left her bent at the waist, causing the hem of her short sundress to inch higher and further expose off her bare legs, which looked fantastic in those heels. He’d only met her a couple of hours earlier, but he’d felt the electricity crackle between them from the jump and it still simmered now. Anya was gorgeous, sexy, with a delectable body that made him want to unleash his inner beast and do unspeakable things to her. He couldn’t deny that he wanted her, and he sensed from their interaction that the feeling was mutual. 

"I’m not sure what I’m looking at, to be honest. I’m terrible with cars," Anya was saying, still looking inside the hood. She had deliberately positioned herself this way, with her back to him and bent over, for Roman’s benefit. She could feel the warm morning breeze against the backs of her legs, and she could feel his eyes locked on her. Her ass was pretty much in his face, basically giving him an all access pass to her goodies. She secretly hoped that he would take the hint and take advantage.  

Then she felt it. His large, warm hand curling over her hip. Anya closed her eyes, drinking in the feeling of the stranger's touch. It lingered in the silence of the moment, as if asking for permission to go further. When she gave no objection, his hand gently slid over her belly, while his other hand made its way up her dress simultaneously. She gasped as his body pressed against hers from behind, and the first thing she felt was his erection, alert and pressing persistently against her backside. The hand in her dress made slow, deliberate circles over her thigh, and she found herself silently begging for his hands to be more daring, to touch her more intimately than he was allowing himself to. She grabbed the top of the hood with one hand as he wedged his thigh between her legs and pressed himself more earnestly against her. His breath was warm on her neck, and Anya gasped again as his mouth met the base of her throat, his tongue darting out to lick the patch of skin there. 

“Tell me to stop, Anya,” Roman growled low, lips dangerously close to hers, and she shivered in his arms. His mouth then shifted to her ear as his hand continued its voyage of her inner thigh. "Tell me to stop, and I'll back off, let you pay for the repairs and leave my shop. But if you don't, I'm gonna fuck you right here on your car, and I won’t stop until you’re coming so hard you’ll be seeing stars."

Anya gave a breathy moan as she rolled her ass into his crotch, craving every inch of what she felt there. "Oh, Roman…Don't you dare stop."

She heard his low moan, felt his lips brush over her neck one more time. Placing his fingers underneath her chin, he guided her face up to his, scooping her lips in a carnal, searing kiss that almost brought her to her knees. Fuck, he tasted so good, a delicious mix of mint and man that she would never forget. She wasn’t sure how long their passionate kissing went on for, but it wasn’t long enough.  Then, without warning, he dropped to his knees behind her. Both his hands were up her dress now, sliding along her upper thighs and over her hips. Anya tried to remain silent, her eyes squeezing shut as he continued to caress her, but when his large palms swept over the curve of her ass and brushed over her heated core, she let out a whimper of pleasure. 

“Shut the hood and lean forwards,” Roman ordered, waiting for Anya to comply. Satisfied that he had her under his complete control, he began kneading the rounded globes of her ass, exploring the softness of her flesh, which was a rather sensual contrast to his workman hands. She shifted her weight back enough to spread her legs slightly, giving more access for his assault on her body. She felt him push her dress up to her back, felt his hot breath on her skin, his lips pressed briefly on her ass as his fingers crept even closer to her most intimate spot. Roman then hooked his index finger around the tiny fabric of her lace panties, pulling it aside, and without warning, he shoved a finger into her wetness, sending shockwaves through her.

"Ahhhh," was all that came out of Anya’s mouth. She pushed her hips back against his hand, helping him guide his fingers inside her . Still on his knees, Roman used his fingers to rub up and down the length of her slit, coating the digits with her wetness. Anya cried out as he then plunged deeper into her depths. She braced her hands on the hood of her car as she rolled her hips over and over, riding his fingers. Just as she was approaching ecstasy, nearing the edge of complete euphoria, Roman pulled his fingers out of her, leaving her hollow and empty.

“What the fuck,” she panted, glaring with frustration at him over her shoulder as he stood up, a smirk on his face that Anya would have considered obnoxious if she didn’t find him so fucking sexy.

Roman locked eyes with her as he licked each of his fingers. “Don’t worry baby, we ain’t done.” He pulled off his shirt and flung it aside, and Anya’s mouth watered at the sight of him. His tattoo climbed up his arm all the way past his shoulders and over his pectoral muscle. She helped him get rid of her dress, and she blushed at the look in his eyes as they raked over her body. He moved forwards until she was sat on the hood, and he reached up to caress her breasts through her bra. He dipped his head to kiss her again, teasing her with his tongue as he explored her taste. Anya groaned as he molded and kneaded her breasts, and she returned the favor by unbuttoning his jeans and promptly sliding her hand inside. She stroked his dick through the briefs, giving him a firm squeeze and pumping him. Roman groaned at her touch, and he pushed her hands away and scooped her up, setting her on the hood of her car.

Anya leaned back on her elbows as she watched him yank down his jeans and boxers at the same time, standing before her in all his naked glory. He had a body she'd only fantasized about, including the thick shaft that stood erect and ready for her. She wanted to touch him so bad, taste him, to slide her tongue over that big dick, to push that throbbing erection into her mouth and down her throat. Her eyes lifted to his, seeing in his brown irises every bit of the desire and hunger that she was feeling.

Roman let his fingers curl through the lace panties she was wearing, and she happily tilted her hips for him to pull them off her. He blindly tossed the underwear over his shoulder as she spread her legs wider, exposing her glistening, swollen flesh to his hungry eyes. Shit. She was so wet, so appetizing. All he wanted to do was lower his mouth onto those swollen pussy lips, to lick and eat her until her eyes rolled back, but right now, it was more important to be inside her than anything else.

Her dark, dazed eyes met his as he leaned over her, one hand on either side of her, flat on the hood. She reached out and pressed her hands to his chest and abs, licking her lips hungrily as she caressed him. She groaned as he dipped his head to kiss her shoulder, feeling his hand wind behind her back to unclip her bra. Throwing it aside, he cupped both her breasts in his hands, ducking down to suckle on one nipple, then the other. Anya's hands slid into his long, silky hair as he feasted on her breasts. His dick brushed her thigh as he leaned over her and she felt a shudder in her loins. She needed him inside her so badly. Her head falling back, she moaned and squirmed under him, making his erection slide up and down the inside of her thigh, pleasuring her just as much as his mouth on her breasts. 

Roman finally lifted his head, loving the way her nipples puckered from his sucking. His dick ached for her and he was finding it more difficult to hold himself. He gave her left nipple a quick bite that had her gasping. "Spread your legs a little wider," he told her, his tone matching the way his body pulsed with need. He stepped up between her legs, a big hand already on his cock, stroking himself as he aimed for her swollen slit. “You ready for me, baby?”

"Yes..." she answered, watching intently as his head pressed into her pussy, and she threw her head back as she felt the first stretch of her muscles around his thickness. "Oh fuck, Roman..." Her moan trailed off as he slowly pushed himself into her, stretching, filling, overwhelming her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Her legs curled around his waist, and his calloused palms were on her ass, lifting her against him so he could push deeper, penetrate her to the hilt. It was like she was made just for him, the way she accommodated every inch of his length, the way she throbbed around him, the heat and pleasure that submerged him and made him quiver for more. Her pussy wrapped so tightly around him he wasn't sure he could breathe. The sensation of her inner muscles rippling against his thickness was incredible, and he hadn’t even started fucking her yet. Growling under his breath, he drew his cock back and thrust into her. Hard. Noting the way the pleasure flooded her features, he did it again, and again, until he’d established a sweet, sensual rhythm. Each stroke had her gasping for breath, her full lips parted open and causing pleasure to flood through him. It wasn’t long before he picked up the pace. “Damn, your pussy’s fuckin’ drippin’, baby,” Roman commented, pushing up on her as he thrust harder into her. “So fuckin’ tight too. Fuck.” 

A gasping Anya wrapped her hands around his biceps and tried to keep her eyes on him, but she couldn’t, not with the delicious precision with which he hit her sweet spot. Even as she moaned, he leaned forwards and bore down on her, his hands locked over her shoulders, holding her still while he hammered white-hot pleasure into her body. He would pause to roll his hips, burying his dick inside her, then he would accelerate again, battering her pussy with the force of his thrusts, and she cried out again and again. “Yes, yes Roman, fuck me,” she moaned, her hands dragging down his back to clutch his ass. It felt as firm as she imagined it to be, and she scraped her fingernails over the taut skin, enjoying the way the muscles clenched and unclenched beneath her palms with every thrust of his hips.

Grunting, Roman shifted her legs up to his shoulders. Sharp breaths escaped them both as he fucked her with reckless abandon on the hood of her car. All he wanted was more, more of her body, more of her warm, soaked pussy, and he was determined to get it all.

“Fuck, I’m comin’ baby,” Anya whined, her legs starting to tremble as her pussy clamped around his dick. “Fuck, I’ma come all over this dick.”

“Yes, baby girl. Come on my dick,” Roman rasped, grabbing her legs from his shoulders and spreading them far apart as he kept up his relentless tempo. He groaned as the blood surged to his groin and he swelled inside her. He looked on with triumph as Anya’s eyes widened, and suddenly she screamed, her body arching, her legs shaking as she came apart around him. He sensed his own orgasm impending even when her inner muscles started to relax, and he couldn’t control himself when it did. He moaned loudly as his balls clenched and his dick throbbed and pulsed inside her. He fell on top of her, pinning her to her car as he emptied into her. Anya shuddered when he went limp on top of her, her hands stroking his back, her other fingers curling in his hair. When he was finally able to catch his breath, Roman shifted back, both of them moaning as his drained dick slid out of her. He held himself up on his arms as he observed her, taking in her flushed, satisfied face, her kiss-swollen lips and disheveled hair. She looked damn beautiful, and it was a sight he didn’t mind seeing every day. "You alright, darlin?" he drawled. 

Anya returned the smile, licking her lips as her pussy still pulsed from the incredible pleasure. "I’m good. Very good," she murmured, "Hell of a service you just rendered. Does it come with the repairs?" she asked with a wink.  

Chuckling, Roman picked his briefs and his jeans off the floor and put them back on. "Nope, it’s part of a very exclusive package. One that you, baby girl, are free to enjoy whenever you want." It was his turn to wink.

Anya giggled at his reply. “I’m gonna hold you to that,” she said, sitting up as Roman handed her dress to her. She reached for her discarded underwear but he grabbed them before she did and held them up in the air. “Um, those are mine,” she told him, her eyebrow raised.

To her surprise, Roman shook his head and tucked the tiny scrap of lingerie into his back pocket. “Not anymore, baby,” he growled, “You want ‘em back, you know where to find ‘em.”

“Hmm. Sounds like a future invite, handsome.” She hoped this was the case.

“I guess it is.” He shrugged, and his deep voice sounded casual, but his smoldering gaze held more intent than his words did.

Anya couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. Luckily, she didn’t live too far away from the service station, so she would have no problem finding him again. “We’ll see.” She pressed a kiss to his mouth, running her tongue beneath his top lip. Then, she slid off the car and sank to her knees, her gaze filled with mischief as she pulled his jeans back down. "Now, let’s see about paying for my car, shall we?"

THE END.

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Destroying The Planet To Save It   Chapter 17:  They’re Disgusting When They Explode

Dinner was prepared by Tony’s catering staff, which meant that it was a little extravagant.  By long tradition, however, it was served buffet-style.  That was for two reasons.  First, team dinners tended to get a little rowdy, and Steve thought it was best not to give the serving staff any stories to sell to the press.  Second, dinner conversation was often about strategy and other things that needed to be kept among themselves.  

Tony always disputed both points.  Regarding the first, Tony argued that he was perfectly capable of hiring discreet staff and enforcing nondisclosure agreements.  And when he did, Steve always reminded him that it was his staff who had leaked the story about his affair with the British Prime Minister and the pictures of his debauched and drug-fueled weekend with the anchor team from the top-rated morning show in the U.S.

Regarding the second, Tony argued that half the team were spies, and were fully capable of spotting a mole.  And when he did, Steve always reminded him of the bombed-out shell of the Triskelion.

Theoretically, everyone chose their own seat in the formal dining room on the residential floor of the Tower.  Steve thought that Tony had been surprisingly diplomatic in somehow maneuvering things so that Director Coulson sat at the head of the massive oval table.  Steve himself was at the other end.  That put Tony to the right of Coulson, a subtle and graceful acknowledgement, especially for Tony Stark, of the politics of the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D.  However Tony had maneuvered that seating arrangement, it made Steve want more than ever to repair his relationship with him.  

Sharon was to Steve’s left, and Bucky to his right, with Joss next to him.  Things seemed to have thawed a little between Bucky and Joss since breakfast, Steve thought. He was glad.  He liked Joss, and he liked her and Bucky together.  He also knew Bucky as well as Bucky knew himself. Steve was the only person who knew just how tender Bucky’s heart was.  He didn’t fall for women easily, but when he did, Bucky fell hard.  Steve knew the signs, and he was absolutely seeing them now.  He didn’t know what was holding Bucky and Joss back, but he wasn’t worried.  Steve didn’t know much about women, but he’d been watching them fall in love with Bucky his whole life.  He knew what that looked like.  It looked like…  well, it looked like Joss.  

Sam, to Sharon’s left, was telling a story about how he and his buddy Riley once “tactically acquired” a couple of ATVs and spent an afternoon joyriding through the desert.   Everyone at their end of the table was howling with laughter, partly because of the story, and partly because Sam’s delivery was so entertaining.  Anita was to Sam’s left, and next to her sat Scott, who was making the story even funnier with his skeptical facial expressions.  Probably the best part, however, was the way that Vision, sitting next to Wanda, who was on Joss’s right, kept interpreting Sam’s slang – both military and street – literally.  

At the other end of the table, a lively debate raged about the Battle of Baton Rouge, which the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. had fought the previous year.  Director Coulson continued to maintain that their adversary, who called himself Lumbro, had intentionally created the giant, sentient earthworms they’d fought.  Tony, however, remained adamant that Lumbro hadn’t been smart enough to accomplish that and had, in fact, been as surprised as anyone.  Of course, once he’d done it, Lumbro had proclaimed that creating an earthworm army had been his plan all along, but Tony’s theory was that he’d been trying to create a growth ray and had simply wired it wrong.

“Either way,” Clint said, “I never want to battle worms again.  Those things are disgusting when they explode!”

“They also don’t even notice when you shoot them, which is just annoying,” Natasha noted.

“Remember when the Hulk went all Dune and rode around on one?” Clint laughed, pointing at Bruce.

“Matter of fact, no,” Bruce answered drily.

Tony high-fived Clint behind Natasha’s back.  “I would kill for video of that!  All he needed was a hat to wave around, and he’d have been Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove!”

“I absolutely insist on hearing this story,” Catherine demanded, laughing.  

Bruce facepalmed.  “I object.”

“Overruled,” Coulson said, and waved a hand toward Clint, inviting him to tell the story.

Sharon’s leg was touching Steve’s under the table, a fact that wasn’t lost on either of them.  She was enjoying watching him laugh at Sam’s story, while at the same time noticing, as always, that his laughter was reserved, as though he wasn’t allowed to just let go and enjoy himself.  She caught his eye and smiled at him, taking his hand where it rested on the table and squeezing.  She happened to be looking at him when, as conversations sometimes do, both came to a coincidental end.  Steve looked toward the other end of the table, making eye contact with Tony.

“Speaking of ‘tactical acquisition,’ I’m never gonna forget the look on The Sector’s face when his entire robot force turned on him and gave him the finger.”

Tony broke into a wide smile, filled with childish delight.  “That guy was a tool.  Nobody out-Starks Stark.  He needed to be taught a lesson.”

Coulson laughed louder than anyone else.  “It probably would have been sufficient humiliation for The Sector that his robots ended up dismantling his base for S.H.I.E.L.D.  But one of the pictures of them all giving Lumbro the finger is still my screen saver.”

“Yeah, Cap was pretty pissed at me for a few minutes for leaving the fight to take pictures, but come on.”  Scott said.

“I still have some of those robots,” Tony noted.  “They buff the floors.”

That got a full belly laugh from Steve, who was looking at Tony with undisguised fondness.  “I did only ask you to disable them.”

Tony shrugged.  “What would’ve been the fun in that?”

Bucky piped up, “Don’t take that from him, Tony.  Captain America isn’t above that kinda thing, himself. In Azzano, he tactically acquired four hundred ice cream bars.  Gave one to every guy he rescued from Krieschberg.”

“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” Sam groaned.  “Even when he’s stealin’, he’s a do-gooder.”

While everyone was laughing about that, Steve and Bucky shared a quick look that spoke volumes about the other things Steve had obtained in Azzano by less-than-pristine means.  Blankets, which were hard to come by, because for weeks after being rescued, Bucky couldn’t seem to get warm.  A blue coat Bucky came to love, for the same reason.  Extra rations, because for reasons they didn’t understand at the time, Bucky was ravenously hungry pretty much constantly.  Those things had saved Bucky’s life, and Steve’s unwavering, unquestioning devotion had saved his sanity.  And he’d done the exact same things when he’d once again rescued Bucky from Hydra.  It had just taken a little longer the second time.

There was no need for words, or for the look to last more than a moment.  

Throughout the meal, Vision was uncharacteristically quiet.  From across the table, Tony watched him.  He didn’t like what he was seeing.  AI or not, Vision reminded Tony of himself when he was distracted by a particular type of problem.  The kind where you know the answer, and you want the answer to be something – anything - else.  

“Hey, Angry Birds,” Tony grunted, tossing a crouton at Vision.  “Cheer up, will ya?  It’s a party. You’re bringing us all down.”

“I am sorry.  I am still working on some questions having to do with the ‘resource’, the missing link between the machines – “

“Yeah, I know what the ‘resource’ is.  And I’m a capitalist pig; I don’t pay overtime.  So punch out already.”

“Yes.  Of course,” Vision said, turning to smile vaguely at Wanda.  

Shit, Tony thought.

Bucky turned toward Joss and Wanda.  “How’d it go after you kicked us out of the gym?  You figure out the aiming thing?”

Wanda smirked at Joss, holding her goblet of ice water up.  “Did we?”

An ice cube rose, dripping, from Joss’s glass, floating slowly and gracefully across the table.  It slowed considerably, then briefly wavered before plunking into Wanda’s goblet.  “We made some progress.”

Joss turned to Bucky and was rewarded with a smile that rendered her briefly incoherent.  All she could do was beam at him, overwhelmed by how beautiful he was and pleased beyond words at his reaction.  The moment between them was long enough that Steve and Sharon shared a raised-eyebrow glance, silently acknowledging their mutual belief that Bucky and Joss would find their way to each other.

“Well, if you wanna talk about aim,” Sam announced, putting an arm around Anita, “This is the woman to see.  Put me to shame on the firing range a little while ago.”

“That ain’t hard to do,” Bucky muttered.

“Naw, man, this girl is the real deal.  I’d put her up against you or Barton anyday.”

“Agent Herrera is the highest-ranked marksman in S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Director Coulson put in.  “I could tell you stories about shots she’s made in the field.  Of course, then I’d have to kill you, and that’s poor manners at the dinner table.”

Clint raised his glass to Anita in a silent, impressed toast.  

“My demand for a raise will be on your desk in the morning, Director,” Anita said, dipping her head humbly.  Coulson simply smiled at her and gave her a nod.

Natasha spoke up, aiming her comments down the table at Sam and Anita.  “I want to know what it’s like at one of Jarman Arias’s house parties.  Even in Europe, people talk about them.  Some of the stories I hear...”

Sam sat up straighter.  “Agent Herrera and I were there on a mission,” he said defensively.

“A mission, I would add, for which they insisted they needed some of my best weed,” Tony noted.  “And Sam, don’t ever try to act innocent on the job.  It’s not a good look on you.”

Sam huffed.  Anita merely laughed.  “If the stories in Europe say that Arias stocks his parties with celebrities and more booze and food than a cruise ship, they’re true.  And I’m also going to have to go to Confession for some of the things I only heard about happening while we were there.”

“Such as?”  Catherine asked.

“I’m not sure some are actually anatomically possible, but I did see that rapper, the one who does ‘Ass Onna Fly’?  He was…  There were… Well, now that I think about it, if I told you at the dinner table, it would be worse etiquette than Director Coulson killing you all.”

“Was that when he was in the cabana?” Sam asked.  “And there were all those women wrestlers with him?”

“Yes,” Anita answered, blushing now and taking a long, unnecessary drink of water to cover as much of her face as possible.  

“I think I mighta happened by there a couple times.”

“A couple times?”  Catherine asked.  “Not sure that qualifies as ‘happening by’.”

Sam ignored the comment, and the guffaws that followed. He frowned a little and asked Anita, “What were they using the plastic flamingos for?”

Her head came up and she looked at him quizzically. “Those were decorations, Sam.”

The table erupted in laughter.

Steve wasn’t sure whether it was the excellent wine, or the chance to enjoy camaraderie with this group, whom he had feared at one time would never meet as friends again, or his brief talk with Director Coulson earlier.  Something, though, was making him feel better than he had in a while.  The chaotic meal, with so many side conversations and the general convivial atmosphere, the frequent outbreaks of laughter and reminiscences, somehow ironically quieted his mind.  

He looked at the group of people sitting around the table, beginning with Bucky, whose mere presence was the most solid support Steve had ever known.   He knew Bucky’s abilities, knew that Bucky would make any mission succeed or die trying, and knew that Bucky would protect him long before he’d protect himself.  Looking at Joss made him think about the three newcomers who were part of the team handling the current threat.  Each of them brought significant assets to the table that Steve knew he could rely upon in what was to come.  Wanda and Vision, of course, were known quantities, both with extreme superpowers and unquestionable commitment to the Avengers.  The same was true of Bruce, who provided both superstrength and superintelligence.  

Director Coulson’s tactical and strategic expertise, not to mention his clear thinking in a crisis, were as dependable as the tides. Steve had definitely had his share of struggles with S.H.I.E.L.D. and other authorities interfering in what had to be done, and he would never be free of the effects of the betrayal by Alexander Pierce and the Hydra cancer that had riddled S.H.I.E.L.D. before the Battle of the Triskelion.  But Coulson had always been true.  Steve trusted him, and by extension, his new S.H.I.E.L.D. as far as he could trust any government organization.  Much farther than most.  

Clint and Natasha, of course, were as rock-solid as Wanda and Vision.  More so, since Steve had known and fought with them longer.  Alone, they were formidable and nearly unstoppable. Together, and as part of the Avengers, they were a big reason Steve really needed to chill the fuck out.  He smiled to himself, thinking that.  And also because his eyes then landed on Sam, who had turned out to be the best chance meeting of Steve’s life.  Sam’s skills and abilities, and the flexibility he brought to the team as another airborne member, were invaluable.  But Sam himself was a gift to the Avengers.  He kept them hopeful.  He had the skills and compassion to help them work through things they encountered that would otherwise crush them.  And he was just damn fun to have around.

Which brought Steve to Sharon.  He looked at her and squeezed her hand where he held it under the table.  She was so much more than the beautiful woman with the irresistible smile he’d first known as his neighbor.  She reminded Steve, in the best possible way, of his mother, because she had that same quiet, unflagging strength and an unshakable belief in him.  Steve’s mom would have adored Sharon.  Hell, Steve adored Sharon.  He shivered a little at that thought. 

Since the day she’d lectured him and then seduced him, something fundamental about Steve had changed.  Sure, everything between them had changed so much that he already couldn’t imagine how he had ever maintained his distance the way he had.  Sure, she was now a constant presence in his mind.  But it was more than that.  She’d challenged him.  She’d kicked at what he thought was a coping strategy and shown it to be a dangerously flimsy delusion.  

She’d also given him the answer, and it was sitting around this table.  Coulson had said exactly the same thing: rely on your team.  Don’t pretend you can, or have to, shoulder the burden alone. Steve felt oddly emotional as he looked around the table again, his eyes finally coming to rest on Sharon, watching him.

“You OK?”  She asked.

“Yeah,” he answered, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I think I’m gonna be just fine.”

 When dinner was over, fairly late, the team stood and began to say their good nights.  The muted ding of the elevator was heard through the din, not because it was loud, but because it was unexpected.  All eyes turned toward the door, to see Pepper Potts step into the room.  

She graciously returned all the greetings as Tony crossed the room toward her.  It was hard to tell whether the expression on his face was more stunned or relieved. Smiling sweetly at the group, Pepper then turned her attention to Tony, who slowed as he approached her, almost reverently.

“I am so glad to see you,” he said hoarsely.

“I know,” she answered, giving him a molten look as she reached out and grabbed a handful of his tie and shirtfront.  “Come with me.”

Pepper pulled Tony through the doorway, and very quickly the sound of the doors to the private penthouse was heard.  No one saw Tony or Pepper again that night.

 Director Coulson excused himself fairly quickly after that, saying that he had some calls yet to make that evening.  Everyone else drifted toward their various rooms, trying not to appear as eager as they were to be alone together.  

Soon, only Bucky, Joss, Wanda, and Vision were left in the area outside the dining room.  It was really too early to go to bed, Bucky thought, at least to sleep.  Besides, he couldn’t get what Clint had said out of his mind, and if he had a chance with Joss, he wanted to take it.  Maybe she did just need time.  If so, he’d give it to her.  But he wasn’t going to waste this opportunity to spend time with her, even if it wasn’t going to be romantic.  Yet.

“You know what?”  He said brightly.  “I’ve been in this building all day.  I need some fresh air.  What do you guys say we go for a walk?  Just to get out for a while.”

Joss nodded.  “That sounds nice.”

“Oh, yes, I’d like to do that,” Vision agreed.

Wanda muttered, “No, you wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t?”  He asked.

“No.  You and I need to finish going over those reports.”

“Oh, yes,” Vision said.  He turned to Bucky and said, in an oddly stilted voice, “Yes, I’m afraid Wanda and I need to go over those reports.”

“We’ll see you at the meeting in the morning,” Wanda said breezily, putting her arm around Vision’s and moving toward the door to the stairway.  “Good night!”

Bucky and Joss watched them go through the door, and clearly heard Vision’s voice echoing in the stairwell.  “I recognized the code phrase.  Why don’t we want to go for a walk?”

“Shhh…” Wanda’s voice responded quietly, but not so quietly that Bucky’s enhanced hearing didn’t pick up the whispered, “They need some time alone.”

Joss’s perplexed look told him that she hadn’t heard that.  “What just happened?”

“Apparently ‘going over those reports’ means that, uh… Wanda wants to be alone with Vision.”

“Oh!”  Joss smiled.

 Secret Service agent or not, Joss might have been a little hesitant to go walking the streets of Manhattan in the evening.  It could be a little risky in D.C., and she didn’t expect that it was any different in New York.  Tonight, however, as she stepped through the lobby door as Bucky held it open for her, she chuckled a little at the possibility of some unfortunate soul trying to mug her with him around.  

“What’s funny?”  He asked as they set off at a leisurely pace down the street.

“I was just thinking that I probably don’t have to worry about street crime tonight.  I don’t imagine anyone’s likely to mess with you.”

Bucky shrugged.  “Probably not.  But I think you’re still pretty safe.  How many?”

“How many what?”

He gave her a look.  “I’ll tell if you do.”

Joss smiled when she realized what Bucky was asking.  “Four. Three knives.  One gun.”

“Yeah?  What do you wear on the street?”

She pulled back the side of the jean jacket she wore to reveal a Wilson Combat EDC X9.  

“Huh,” was all he said.

“You?”

“Six.  Four knives.”

“I clocked the S&W on your hip.  What’s the other piece?”

“Sig P365.”

That led to a pleasant conversation about the relative merits of different handguns, both concealed carry and tactical.  They covered several blocks, not hurrying or heading anywhere in particular, just enjoying the cool evening and the bustle of the city.

As they approached tiny Greenacre Park, with its artificial waterfall, they noticed a group of five girls in their late teens huddled together on the steps, giggling and looking at them.  For about half a block, Bucky and Joss simply continued with their conversation, both watching the girls curiously but not mentioning them. When they got within fifteen yards or so of the girls, they stood as a group and two stepped into the sidewalk.

Their body language was hesitant and nervous, the two on the sidewalk cradling their phones in their hands and standing very close together as though for support.  All of the girls continued smiling and giggling.

“You’re Bucky Barnes, aren’t you?”  One of the girls in the sidewalk asked, when they were close enough.

“Uh, yeah.”

The girls who had remained on the steps stood now, too, and stepped up to huddle together with the others in front of Bucky, giggling now more than ever.  They all had phones in their hands.

“Can we take a selfie with you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bucky said, clearly uncomfortable but trying to be polite.  

Joss, backed away as the girls surrounded him.  None of them even appeared to see her.  They began to talk over one another, telling Bucky how cool they thought he was and that they were “such huge fans” of his while he stood helplessly shifting from foot to foot, grinning awkwardly and trying to keep them from getting behind him.  This was going to be fun to watch.  

One of the girls who had waited on the sidewalk was the first to stand next to Bucky and hold out her phone.  He graciously asked if she wanted him to take the picture, since he had longer arms.  She breathlessly agreed, suddenly all nerves, while he put an arm loosely around her, held the phone out, and snapped the picture while the other girls took pictures of their friend and Bucky.

“Hey, Bucky, do you have a girlfriend?”

He pretended not to hear the question as he asked the girl next to him her name.

“Who’s cooler in person, Captain America or Iron Man?” One girl asked.

“Don’t be a dork, Brianna, he’s Captain America’s best friend,” another answered for him, following her announcement with a disgusted sound.

“Does Tony Stark have, like, just gobs of money?”

“I guess so, we don’t really talk about it-“

“Jessie, shit! Of course he has gobs of money, everybody knows that!”

The other girls took turns standing next to him, with Bucky patiently taking a picture with each girl while the others whispered, giggled, and photographed the process.  

“We think you’re really great,” one of the girls gushed, and the others hurriedly agreed.  

“Uh, yeah, thanks…”  Bucky looked progressively more uncomfortable.  He shot a look at Joss, who gave him a mocking smile.  

“I bet you never get cold now, ‘cuz you got frozen so much.”

“Um…”

“I thought it was so cool how you took out that bad guy in Poland with one shot like that.  You have the coolest guns!”

“I liked when you stabbed that gross monster with the huge head right in his eye.  That stuff that squirted out was so gross!”

A chorus of “Eeeeeeeew!” followed.  

“Hey, what’s the Black Widow like?  Is she just a total bitch?”

“Well, no, she’s-“

“I have pajamas with you on them.  I wish I would have known we’d see you, I could’ve brought them!”

“Hey, will you take off your jacket so we can see your arm?”  A girl with a tattoo of Captain America’s shield on her ankle asked.

“I don’t really…  Um…  Shouldn’t you girls be at home this time of night?”  Bucky’s look at Joss this time was a clear plea for help.  She let him see her laugh at him, then waded in.  She was, after all, a professional at this kind of stuff.   It was a little different with the President and the public, but not much.  And a group of horny teenage girls had nothing on a pack of rabid Congressmen.

While the girls objected that they were plenty old enough to be out after dark, Joss slipped smoothly into the center of the mob.  She took a stance in front of Bucky, her back pressed against his chest, and one hand behind her on his arm.  With that hand, she began invisibly to pull him in the direction they’d been walking.  

“OK, girls, thanks!” She cried, drowning out their giggling and questions as she stepped backward, pushing Bucky into moving.  “Thank you so much, but you know, Sergeant Barnes has a world to save, so he needs to get going.”  

The girls loudly voiced their disappointment, but as if held by a forcefield, they stayed where they were as Joss pulled Bucky away from them. She kept her back to him and pulled his arm until he was free of the circle of girls, then slowed down and pushed him to continue walking while she covered his retreat.  “Thanks, girls,” she called pleasantly, still facing them to make sure they didn’t follow.  Bucky looked back and waved a little, then ducked his head and made tracks while the girls called their goodbyes to him, still basically ignoring Joss, but somehow also compelled to obey her and allow him to leave.

Bucky could still hear the girls frantically giggling and gushing to each other as Joss jogged up beside him, trying to be quiet about her laughter.  The girls’ ecstatic comments continued to reach them for a while.

“He’s so cute!”

“Isn’t he just so nice?”

“He asked us all our names!  Holy shit, Bucky Barnes knows my name!”

Bucky groaned as Joss chuckled under her breath. “It’s not funny.  It’s so not funny,”

That just made her laugh harder.  “I’m sorry, I’m sure that must be kind of a pain, but if you could’ve seen your face…”

“Yeah, I’m sure it was hilarous.  Ugh.  Anyway, thanks for the rescue.”

“No problem.”

“How come they just obeyed you?”

“Because I told them what to do,” she shrugged.  “Did you see how nervous they were?  Nobody really knows the rules in those situations, because there aren’t any.  So if you act like you have authority, people usually listen.  It only works for a minute or two, but that’s all you usually need.”

Bucky nodded and made a “huh” sound.

“Sorry I laughed.  You did kind of look like you hated that.”

“I did.  I do. But Pepper says I’m not allowed to pull knives and growl anymore.  Which sucks, ‘cuz that at least felt natural.”

“Bet it worked, too.”

“Damn straight it worked, and I don’t know how else to get out of those things.  Steve invents emergencies.  Scott just takes off running.”

“What does Tony do?”

“Tony?  You kidding? He loves that stuff.  He stands and signs autographs and takes pictures until finally the people have to find a reason to get away.  Clint seems to be really good at it, he’s really cool with people and then he just makes it seem natural to leave.”

“And Natasha?”

“No one has ever approached Natasha for a selfie.  No one would dare.  Which really pisses me off, actually, because what about me?  Aren’t I a deadly Russian assassin, too?  I’m scary, right?”

“Absolutely.  You are the night.”

Bucky let out a hoot of laughter, which made Joss laugh, too.