#also what sucks is that jan 6 is my birthday

[bucksangel]

I have never in my life seen such sore losers.// I saw a lot of sore losers on January 6th 2021….

a bunch of sore losers incited by an even bigger sore loser

[vvvvivi567890]

Chinese LoTM Gen Fic Recs (I)

| ★☆★☆★ | Part II >>>

(Last updated July. 31. 2024)

this is mostly to organize fics for myself, but after The Lofter Incident of Feb. 2024, i needed a place to link all the chapters instead of the first ones. theres probably gonna be multiple parts

(btw i recommend translating the whole page on google. safari mtl kinda sucks…)

compilation of compilation of fics

leoklein fic rec compilation

Klein-Centered:

What Is It Like to Be an Ancient Scholar by ninewater: 1, 2 (Last Updated: Dec. 05. 2019)

The World Wants a Hug by k70296

A Strange Dream by mhbdzty

(humor??? horror??) tbh im not sure what to make of this

A Miracle Invoker Falls From the Sky by jingjiangbushirousi: 1, 2 (END)

Angst, s2 Klein meets s9 Klein

Cats Have Nine Lives by kapuayi: 1, 2, 3 (Last Updated: Nov. 27. 2019)

Zhou Mingrui's Trial in the Brain by 2333567

When Gehrman Lost His Memories by jinyirendexiaojuchang

Nowhere to Escape in the World by ailikesitudou

Angst and minor leoklein (but can be interpreted as platonic tbh), Klein is suffering from the side effects of the death knell but he doesn't know what he's afraid of :)

Tarot Club:

He Will Sing in the Fire by juanao397: 1, 2, 3, 4 (END)

Klein is on the verge of losing control during his s1 promotion, the tarot club has to find Zhou Mingrui and wake him up

Mr. Fool Wants to Join the Chat by shanyoumuximuyouzhi798: 1, 2, 3, 4 (END)

Team building in the Hall of Truth

Does Mr. Fool Also Ask for Red Envelopes? by benguodeniunai: 1, 2 (END)

There is Such a Person by shasiajiplanbban

About Mr. Fool Losing Control of His Abilities After Waking Up by langduzhe023

The Meeting Before God Was Renamed as a Tea Party by hanpeiwen

Everyone Wants to Take Off My Vest by nenesis17

Tarot Club tries to wake up mr fool

I Know Mr. World's Secret by burklend160

Tarot Club boys (except for little sun) misunderstand some things about Mr. World

On the Way the Narrator Kills the Protagonist by fengbujuedai

Minor LeoKlein (but its mostly at the end if thats not your cup of tea), the Tarot Club's black history is exposed and Klein and Leonard's thoughts are read out loud

Everyone is Responsible for Persecuting Amon by oldsaltyfish

“So, Amon is the 'Angel of Time' who rings the bell of heaven for Mr. Fool?"

"No, He is the bell that is struck."

"?!!"

Welcome to the Doomsday Game by dblyb: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (Last Updated: June. 16. 2024)

In order to ensure that earth wont be bombed in the doomsday war, the outer gods and the gods have initially reached a consensus to conduct a proxy war

Mr. Fool Said I Never Want to Celebrate My Birthday Again by irelan0706: 1, (Last Updated: Mar. 04. 2024)

Mr. Fool's Private Meeting by yangmiemie47136

Truth or dare in the Hall of Truth

Moretti Family:

A Small Piece of Lemon Cake by steelknote17

Sweet Dreams are as Good as Ever by dblyb

When Melissa Has a Boyfriend by zizaifeihuaqingsimeng37251

Heaven Goes to the Left, Moretti Goes to the Right by xinjinjumin7785283

Dinners and the Morettis are not allowed to enter the kingdom of god

Returning Home by kapuayi: 1, 2, 3 (END)

Benson and Melissa meet a Klein who has lost his memories

Summer of Tingen by abyss734

Melissa center with OG Klein

Their Brother by aizhuangkudexiaocainiao: 1, 2, (Last Updated: Mar. 08. 2024)

Benson becomes a beyonder and Gehrman moves in next door

If Benson is a Cultist by dblyb: 1, (Last Updated: Mar. 17. 2024)

Blackthorn-Security Company:

I Saw Ghosts After Becoming a Miracle Invoker by dblyb: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 (END)

Extra 1, 2, 3, 4 (END)

Klein meets the ghosts of the Tingen nighthawks

Seeka's Tea Party by forgetmenot

Seal Artifact 3-904 Observation Report by jingjiangbushirousi

Klein meets his future selves

Maritime Group:

The Tip of the Iceberg Emerges by wangyouwushang86832: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 (Last Updated: Jan. 20. 2024)

Gehrman loses his memories after Groselle's Travels

Let's Swap Sequences with the "Sea Team" by xiegui54376: 1 (Last Updated: Feb. 13. 2024)

Klein and Danitz swap pathways due to an artifact (s5 hunter Klein, s6 seer Danitz)

Others:

Hall of Truth Trio | The World has Nothing to Do With You by treebirdturn

Angst, post-apocalypse, everyone forgets Klein

Amon | The Great Philanthropist Mr. Amon by dblyb

"Adam gave me humanity" - Amon

Dunn | Dunn Swore to the Goddess that He Wasn't Cheating by langduzhe023: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (Last Updated: Apr. 11. 2022)

A resurrected Dunn meets Gehrman

Azik | God and Their Afternoon Tea Activities by mhbdzty

Post-apocalypse, naptime with Klein and Amanises

Danitz & Gehrman | How Long Does It Take to Become Gehrman by 2333567

Gehrman loses his memories for a day

Amanises | Suppose the Cat Disappears From the World by nenesis17

[donkeyzball]

Day 14 (21 Jan 2024)

Everything 适可而止就好

Note: - Visited Gonggong at the elderly care this morning, still looks healthy on the exterior but the dementia brain is still doing its magic - Remember what he wants to/can, memory keeps jumping - Every visit just reminds me 人活到一个年纪就好, quality of life when you are old is really so low. 自己活不好，家人也会被影响. - That‘s why must 活在当下, 有能力有时间做自己想做的就去做! I know it's a very privileged way of thinking, but who knows 我下一辈子怎样，活在当下!!! - Family birthday meal at Beng Hiang Restaurant

- Always on my food list but never got to try it till today! - The 五香 and 铁板豆腐 damn good!! All the dishes were slightly above average and good! Not super super amazing but quality is guaranteed! - If there's any future event that requires a banquet style of chinese dinner I will book this place!!! - Bridesmaid Birthday Dinner @ CouCou Hotpot @i12 Katong

Taste: 6/10 Environment: 10/10 *They have free flow 卤肉饭, it's a 10/10 Brownie points: Got sell BBT Overall: 6.5/10 HDL and BIAP still better!!!

^Chocolate cupcake with accessories lOl (不能吃的, strictly for 装饰)

^ Taro tart SO SO SO GOOD! They know I like Taro so they bought this to try! The taro was so soft and not too sweet and not too taro-ey, with the crispy tart damn good!! 10/10

Over the birthday meal weekend (Friday - Sunday), 我骗吃骗喝 for all 3 days. I had such good meals and I got them all free, 真的感恩!!! But it didn't stop there, I received birthday gifts also...really 适可而止就好!!! I 收到都愧疚!!!!

^Airpods from H4F! - GDLL they remember i don't like in-ear buds, and my airpods battery sucks, everytime the right side will run out of battery after a while, leaving only the left one working lOl, so a perfect gift at a perfect timing when I need it to last longer for my gym sessions

^ Applewatch from Bridesmaid + Glenn - I was damn shocked to receive this present cause I don't have a habit of wearing watch so Idk what inspired them to get this and it's not cheap either! - I also xiadao cause the moment i saw the apple bag I damn scared the present overlapped and i got another airpods! But it turned out to be an apple watch! - I remember telling them "Gan, you all want trap me in this apple ecosystem is it?". - From my current iphone 14 pro, to the airpods, to the apple watch, 我全身上下最贵的东西都是别人送的!! I personally have not spent my own money on anything more expensive than those items combined on myself before! - This present also damn timely cause I always wanted something to help track my run, and this apple watch can do just that perfectly!!!

I really 打从心底感谢这么多人 help to celebrate my birthday and give me presents. I wish them all healthy and happy for the whole of 2024!!! I know the presents also includes their best wishes for me for my next career endeavor, I can only repay them by figuring out what I want to do and taking action!!

谢谢你们的好意!!! 希望你们都会开开心心过每一天!!!

[offtopicoverload]

thank you for the tag @lilithlibrxa i adore you

(ima edit in @ravenadottir since you asked <3)

1) Name/Nickname? - KC. Sometimes I get called Kameron

2) Gender? - Void/Agender

3) Star sign? - Virgo sun, Capricorn moon, Libra rising. I am very repressed, yes.

4) Height? - 5′8″ / 172 cm

5) Time? - isn't real

6) Birthday? - 12 September

7) Favorite bands? - Walk the Moon, Green Day, Loving Caliber, Starkid (counting it, fuck off)

8) Favorite solo artists? - Hailee Steinfeld, Sabrina Carpenter, Miley Cyrus, Janelle Monáe, Danny Gonzalez. I have weird taste, don’t judge

9) Song stuck in your head? - In general, Closer by the Chainsmokers and Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars, but I want to make it very clear that these are both against my will and I haven’t listened to either in literal years. It’s maddening. Also that one song that’s like ‘so why don’t you just meet me in the middle, the miIiIIIIiiiiIDLE’ is the name just the middle?

10) Last movie? - Wonder Woman 1984. It was a very odd experience and I’m still not sure how I feel about it after 3 days. But I will say, that it is very problematic and stars a cunt, so. don’t recommend it

11) Last show? - Brooklyn 99. It’s been my loop like all year

12) When did you create this blog? - Uhhh. September?

13) What do you post? - Fandom shit. LITG & Choices, mainly, and whatever the fuck else I feel like dumping on people’s dashes

14) Last thing you googled? - Dumb dog breeds. I had to make sure Beagles are, in fact, stupid. They are.

15) Other blogs? - N/A

16) Do you get asks? - Yeah, especially the past few days. But mostly it’s just @bubblelaureno and then @chichiguitarist123 popping in once a week or so

17) Why you chose your url? - I’ve had this screen name for years, I don’t really remember. I think I just liked the name kiki when I thought I was a *gag* cishet, and wanted to be an artiste, even though I suck

18) Following? - 64 (75 as of edit)

19) Followers? - 58, which is more than I thought (65 as of edit on 4 Jan. damn)

20) Average hours of sleep? - Prolly 4

21) Lucky number? - Idfk. I like 3. Does that count?

22) Instruments? - Guitar, piano, alto, tenor, bari (but I main bari), bass, a bit of drums but I never practice cuz I don’t like how loud it is, and I guess I have a uke too. And I played a year of cello, but I doubt I retained any information

23) What are you wearing? - Long sleeve T, mismatched Christmas socks, black trousers

24) Dream job? - Something in entertainment? Like writing and producing, I think I could handle that

25) Dream trip? - I dunno. Mountains? the fuck. Although I do have a weird, inexplicable attachment to Argentina, so maybe Buenos Aires or something

26) Nationality? - no. void.

27) Favorite song? - I guess Black Friday from Starkid. I dunno, it just hits

28) Last book read? - Non-course work was Thunderhead from the Scythe series absolutely ages ago cuz I wanted to read the third part, but I never finished rereading Thunderhead, so I haven’t read the third

29) Top three fictional universes you‘d like to live in? - I’m also on board with Avatar, maybe the universe from a series called Zodiac, it was a cool idea. And then for fandom specific, The Elementalists seems like a good compromise. I fully recognize the fact that disasters and genocide are common in these universes, but ✨magic✨

30) Tagging? - @bubblelaureno @chichiguitarist123 @ineedskyecrandall @alccaddsccup @playallthechoices @codename-mango

[stay-neurotic]

tagged by @evenmyhivemindisempty 😘❤️️

Name: rachael

Gender: she/her

Star sign: aquarius

Height: 5'4"

Time: 4:51 pm

Birthday: jan 26

Favorite band(s): king gizzard and the motherfucking wizard lizard. that band is my heart band. also i've really been into tzusing and ok go recently

Favorite solo artist(s): ummmmm. tipper!

Song stuck in my head: IT'S BEEN A LONG ROAD

Last movie I watched: oh hell idk. i don't watch movies. uhh. the last one i remember was grand budapest hotel while i was on an acid trip w friends, it was an exceptional movie inebriation or no

Last show I watched: enterprise lol

When did I create this blog: like in 2011. it's ancient.

When I post: usually in the mornings before i leave for work and then at night when i get home. i spend my days off nonstop tumblr scrolling to procrastinate having to write so often on wednesdays and thursdays lol

Last thing googled: "spot" looking for spotify and accidentally hitting enter too soon

Other blogs: @vorta-whore for my smutty writings :)

Do I get asks: yes! there are a couple of you that faithfully ask me things when i reblog those ask lists and for yall i am endlessly grateful <3 <3 <3

Why I chose my URL: from a quote - "stay neurotic. stay emotional. stay frustrated. stay excited. your life is happening." once upon a time i really needed the reminder that it's OKAY not to have things under control all the time, life is crazy and i should just fucking learn to go along for the ride.

Followers: 416 but sooooo many of those are inactive after 10 years of just gathering followers here and there

Average hours of sleep: 6 probably

Lucky number: like many other nintendo kids, 64

Instruments: nada. but i did briefly play the melodica when i was into SPG.

What I’m wearing: my server uniform cause i'm on break at work lol. black skinny jeans n a black button up (with the sleeves rolled up for sex appeal)

Dream trip: ohhhh my honeymoon was planned for cali lol. probably there. cbd massages, horseback riding on the beach, spending way too much money at a dope shop and smuggling my spoils home...

Favorite food: potatoes, in any form. also chocolate is a big contender.

Nationality: im a white-ass jew

Favorite song: right now it's vessel - red sex. just a cool dark discordant song, feels like the soundtrack to something fucked up happening.

Last book I read: i'm about halfway through star trek gamma mission book 4: lesser evil. it's got my man taran'atar in it very briefly but i'm also getting sucked into vaugn's whole thing with his wife.

Top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: i think u fucking know which universe takes all three spots. cmon. i would also maybe accept pokemon or animal crossing.

Favorite color: cycles between green, blue and purple. right now it's purple!

not sure who's already done this or been tagged but HERE GOES: @tomvorikandharry @pedantic-savantic @missiodine @lasernahrwal @dukatsscalytitties @femalehumanoid

[abused-sides]

Be Brave [Whumptober]

Note: I’m doing whumptober as a series. Check out the tag #whumptober 2020 v on my blog to read in order. Also on ao3.

Prompt: No. 6: Please… [No More] 

Synopsis: Virgil and Janus are punished for trying to escape. 

Trigger warnings: Cults, gaslighting/manipulation, restraints, kidnapped, non-con, humiliation, treating people like property, blood, knives, violence/beatings, a person in a cage, guns, body horror/gore, reference to murder/hate crimes/child death/minor character death, vomiting, let me know if I missed anything 

Word count: 1455

A/N: I had to do a lot of really sad research for this lol. 

October 9th. 12:55 am. 

Virgil hyperventilated beside him. 

Bates' velvet voice boomed over the auditorium. He didn’t need a microphone. You’d think there’d be cheers, applause when he took breaths, but no— Everyone sat on the edge of their seats, deadly silent. 

“...after we showed our good will in bringing Janus mercifully back to us, after saving him from the trash can that lives outside our family, and even going as far to rescue his friend and cut into more of our resources to feed and house him, they conspire against us and try to abandon us.” 

Bates’ voice cut into his chest. He dragged in slow, quiet breaths. Everything in him screamed to reach out to Virgil, take his hand and promise him they’d survive this, but the ropes dug into his wrists and the tape wouldn’t budge from his mouth. 

“We simply cannot take this abuse any longer. We’re doing a majority vote here. We can either release these poor victims back into the cesspool and the murder and the rape and the garbage, or we can give them a little taste of it, here, in safety, and let them decide whether to stay or not. Everyone in favour of release?”

It was no surprise when everyone’s hands stayed down. Bates asked the second option, and among the hands raised were whoops, applause, and shouting. Janus shivered. 

“As much as I’d love the honour to help them both, I simply can’t divide my attention. It wouldn’t be fair to them, anyway. I ask my closest partner, Styx, to help me with the lesson. Remus, you come up, too, get ready to step in.” 

Styx climbed the steps to the stage with a grin. He unfolded a long, black leash and clipped it to Virgil’s collar. “Don’t worry, pet. We know you’re just confused. We’re going to save you.” 

To the side of the stage, Bates pulled a newspaper off a table. He held it open towards the audience. “Three days ago four men broke into a single parents’ apartment, tied her and her child down, and forced the two to watch as they stabbed them to death. Why don’t we start there?” 

The crowd cheered. Sweat dripped down Janus’ back, pooled on his top lip. Tears streamed down Virgil’s red face. 

Bates and Styx turned them around to face each other. The crowd's energy was a white noise, cicadas buzzing in Janus’ ears. Virgil stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. Bates and Styx unsheathed their knives, and tears pricked Janus’ eyes. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

Bates rested a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Be brave. At least you’ll survive this. Remus?”

Remus rushed over and knelt between them, gesturing over Janus. “You want to go under the belly button, Bates. Any higher and he’ll bleed out too quickly for me to help. Stay away from the chest and anything above, including the shoulders— That goes for both of you. Lower arms and legs are okay as long as you let me in one time.” He turned to Virgil and rested a hand over his abdomen. “Styx, stay away from his abdomen. His ovaries, uterus, all of that stuff will bleed out far too quickly and he will die.”

Virgil’s hyperventilating reached a head as he choked on his sobs and the gag in his mouth. 

“I know you two have a lesson to teach,” he said lowly, “but please know when to stop.” 

Bates waved him away, and it was like a death sentence. Janus sucked in a choking gasp as blunt paint erupted in his abdomen, stealing all his breath. Did he fucking punch me? It wasn’t until Bates yanked the knife out only to drive it back in that he knew what happened. He cried out, warm liquid running down his stomach and thighs. 

Virgil was so quiet Janus worried he was dead. Through his blurred vision, Virgil bit his lip hard enough to split the skin, eyes squeezed shut. Bates stabbed him several more times, in the forearm and calves, before sheathing the bloody knife and stepping aside. He gestured to Janus, and Remus rushed in with his backpack. 

Styx held Virgil up by his leash and drove the knife into his shin. Virgil sobbed as Remus laid Janus on his back. He undid his binds and stretched his arms and legs out, cutting away the bottom half of his shirt and away his jeans. Janus’ vision swam as Remus worked on stopping the bleeding. He was vaguely aware of his legs being elevated, something pushing against his back to prop him upright, Remus talking, but he was hot all over and he wanted to throw up. 

He couldn’t tell how long it had been before Remus hurried back into the wing and Bates lowered Janus’ legs. Virgil cried out as Styx dropped his. 

“Are you starting to get it?” Bates laughed. “This is the kind of thing you were running back to. Is this really where you want to be? Janus?” 

He pulled Janus gag out, and he gasped for breath. “No,” he managed. “No, I’m sorry, please-”

“We’re not done yet.” He shoved the gag back in and picked up a piece of printer paper. He held it to the audience. “This is a picture of 11-year-old Sadie Winters. She was walking home from school when an unknown person choked her to death and left her there. Shall we move on to poor Sadie?” 

Bates pulled the string out of his hoodie and wrapped the two ends around his fists. Styx clamped Virgil’s leash around his throat and held tight. 

“Don’t be so impatient, Styx,” Bates sighed before the hoodie string tied around Janus’ neck. 

“Okay, you have to be quick!” Remus cried hastily. “I’m serious, don’t push it, you can kill them in minutes!” 

Ringing filled Janus’ ears as his vision blurred. Black spots grew, and it was like his head was ready to explode. His pain washed away as his eyes rolled back. 

He gasped as Bates smacked him in the face, eyes flying open. “You ready to go again?”

“Bates-”

His voice broke, his throat screaming. Bates hauled him back upright and pulled the string back around his throat. A few seconds later, the black swallowed his vision once more. His entire body tingled. He was still half-passed out as his stomach lurched and vomit forced its way up his throat. 

“Get back, get back! Hey, sit up.” Remus’ voice was soft in his ear as he helped Janus to sit upright. His stomach contracted and pulled, sending agony through Janus’ body, as he retched onto the stage, his vision dark, spotty, and blurred. “Bates, I obviously can’t tell you what to do, but if you don’t move on, they will die.” 

“Well, that certainly isn’t the point of this exercise,” Bates huffed. “We’ll move on. We only have a few more to get through then everyone can break for dinner.” 

“Shh, shh, you’re going to be okay,” Remus hushed as he took out Janus’ gag. “You have to breathe, please breath, Jan-Jan.”

“I can’t do any more,” he whimpered. “Please stop him.” 

Remus cupped his face. “I can’t. You know I can’t. But I’m going to make sure you two are okay, alright? Just hold on a little longer.” 

Janus buried his face in Remus’ shoulder and gripped onto him. “Please.” 

“I’m so sorry it’s come to this, Janus,” Bates said with a frown. “Are we starting to realize why you’re better off here?”

He nodded frantically. “Yes, yes, I’ll never try to leave again, please, please stop, please no more!” 

Bates hummed, watching him curiously. His gaze slid to Virgil, who grimaced as Styx stroked his cheek. “And Virgil? How are you feeling?”

“The only people doing this to us is you,” he snarled, “you sick fuck, let us go!” 

Dread washed over Janus like he’d been set on fire. Bates sighed. “I guess we continue. Poor, confused thing.” He came over and ran his fingers through Janus’ hair. 

“Please let me go,” Janus whimpered. “I won’t leave you again.”

He smiled. “No. You two are a team. I can’t risk him corrupting you again.” 

Bates strolled to the front of the stage and announced their next lesson. Remus kissed Janus’ forehead, and, as much as Janus begged him not to, left back to the wing. 

His eyes locked with Virgil’s. Virgil sobbed, his face scarlet, his hair matted with sweat. That fire he had, the anger and ferocity that fueled him, was dying out. It used to be a wall of bubbling magma behind his eyes. Now it was nothing more than a birthday candle.

Kofi and commissions, 1 coffee = 300 words of your prompt

[tumblhurgoyf]

hey all you commies

and also just everyone; honestly especially if you don’t consider yourself a leftist. if you’re a worker, this stuff is for you!

have I plugged Working Class History and PM Press?

WCH is a podcast you can listen to anywhere you listen to podcasts. They focus on working class history (surprise!) and I’m really into how much they try to bring in people who lived that history to talk about it. There’s nothing so invigorating as learning about a strike from someone who walked the picket line or learning about Vietnam resistance from someone who led a mutiny on a ship to prevent napalm from being delivered there.

And they’ve got a Facebook page and recently published a book! Oh, and a patreon if you’d like to support them directly.

Image: Book cover of Working Class History: Everyday Acts of Resistance and Rebellion

It’s published through PM Press and a great bathroom or coffee table book. Find today’s date or a birthday or anniversary and see what sort of stuff happened on that day in history.

But speaking of PM Press, they have a monthly subscription service I just signed up for where each month they send you all the new stuff they published that month, plus they give you a code to get 50% off everything else. They’ve got e-book stuff too so people anywhere in the world can access this content. I’ve signed up for the subscription and also plan on setting up a “little library“ so others in my community can access these books after I’ve read them (a little library is basically just a box, usually on a pole so it’s about chest high, set near the street/sidewalk with books inside that are free to take).

I’m not associated with either of these things, just really excited to see this sort of stuff and the growing leftist movement in recent years.

Oh, and unrelated to that, there’s another podcast called Behind the Bastards that recently started a mini series called Behind the Insurrection. I learned a lot of details about Mussolini’s March on Rome and Hitler’s Beer Hall Putsch that never showed up in school. Plus parallels to the US today in particular, and the Jan 6 coup attempt specifically.

I increasingly feel things are coming to a head and all we’ve got is each other. Take strength in your comrades and know we’ve been fighting this fight for centuries--sucks that we’re still so close to the edge of fascism and authoritarianism, but heartening to know the thread of humanity and the bravery and willingness to fight for it runs just as long.

[crazy4myself]

Get to know me more!

i was tagged by @banngtanloverboys

What do you prefer to be called name wise? Kristen although I’ve been toying with the thought of going by Kris as of late

When is your birthday? 8/21

Where do you live? Mississippi

Three things you are doing right now? Sitting in bed sipping water and catching up on all these tag games lol

Four Fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? bts, avatar the last airbender, throne of glass, ACOTAR

How the pandemic treating you? Pretty good, I was declared an essential employee and worked in office through the entire thing. (I was one of three employees to not go remote and all 3 of us wore PPE at all times). Where I live unfortunately we’ve basically returned to normal but i still wear a mask everywhere.

A song you can’t stop listening to right now? The entire Manic album by Halsey tbh its a problem

Recommend a movie? 2020 adaption of Little Women was the last movie i saw in theaters. I cried so much. It made me feel

How old are you? 21

School, University, Occupation or other? Umm I’m a university student but I took a semester off to co-op for an engineering firm so I’ve been working as a civil/environmental engineering intern since Jan. I started Uni back in August.

Do you prefer hot or cold? I’m a lukewarm kind of bitch

Name one fact others may not know about you? I’m actually a huge environmentalist. I think this blog is the only aspect of my life where I’m not constantly talking about pollution or environmental justice issues.

Are you shy? No. I mean in some settings ofc, but I’m actually a huge extrovert, i just need social battery charging sessions throughout the day. AKA i demand ME time

Do you have any prefered pronouns? she/her

What’s your favourite “-dere” Type? i don’t exactly know much about “dere” types beyond yandere. I read those from time to time for the creepy horror aspect but I gotta be in some kind of mood for it

Any pet peeves? When people try to talk from an informative standpoint abt things they don’t understand. You can discuss your uneducated opinions and thoughts in conversation. Just don’t present them as facts. You’re just spreading misinformation and embarrisng yourself I also hate bumping elbows with people at the table.

Rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 means being the best you could ever be! tbh I would normally say 5 or 6 out of 10 i’m super blessed but seriously struggled in school and with mental health. But these past 6 months have been pretty 9/10. I love working, I feel so happy I’m good at what I do. I was given an award for my climate march I hosted at my Uni. My dad beat cancer. and I might be engaged soon??? Globally 2020 sucks but personally there has been so much growth and so many blessings I’m thankful for.

What’s your main blog? this one now but @marvelatthemadness and @sustainablityandstudy were blogs I was super active on before i started writing.

List your sideblogs and What they are used for! @crazy4my-ficrecs and @crazy4my-currentreads pretty self explanatory. Also someone please appreciate the joke/wordplay in my side blogs

Is there anything peoples need to know about you before being friends with you? I talk a lot,and obviously i’m long winded. I get clingy kinda quick, I overshare, and I ask a lot of questions bc i want to know every. single. thing. about. every. person. i. meet. 😠 now tell me your star sign, your coffee/drink order, and your preferred sprinkle shape!!

I tag: @phaeeeee @xmagicxshopx @mel-gonzalez07 @hollyhomburg @ditttiii

Anyone else who wants to play along please do!

[oscarswildetiger]

I’m just taking a break from an unfuck your habit cleaning spree to complain.

I signed up for Noom shortly after my 30th birthday because I felt like absolute crap about myself.  I didn’t want to do any trend diets, I haven’t done that for years, and the whole 30 was a lot more dedication than I really wanted as well. Noom promised something different and well so far it has been. I’m not going to get into Noom too much, but I just wanted to lay the basis that is what I’ve been doing and since when (Last week of November to mid Jan)  According to the scale today I’ve lost a total of 21 lbs, but I’m so frustrated. The scale goes up and down. Noom has you weigh yourself every day, and I think the point of that is to see exactly how your weight fluxates, in the beginning I was shedding lbs pretty evenly, then the scale would tick up, I would go 3 days without pooping, then I’d poop and it would be back down. Then my digestive schedule evened out and I would see still a cycle of upticks then downward, then a few days at the same, then up, then down, you get the picture. Yesterday morning I weighed 6 lbs more than I did this morning. I think the scale will say I’ve gained 3 tomorrow, so it’s a victory but also one that feels rather fleeting. 

I’ve been exercising a lot more, running on treadmill, I even started derby! But thats a post for another time (though we’ll touch back on this a bit more shortly) my clothes fit better, I’m feeling better, but I’m just fucking annoyed. 

My job is so boring that I realize I spent a lot of time eating snacks there because I had so much downtime. Now that I’m not eating so many snacks I’m frustrated at how slow the clock goes between the time I get to work and the time I get to lunch and then again the time that means I can go home. So I sit at work trying to keep myself busy and I’m just annoyed at all the things that I COULD be doing at home and that I can’t do because I’m stuck HERE at a job that doesn’t give me enough work to fill 7.5 hours worth of my day. It feels like a punishment having to wake up, drive 45 minutes to a place where I have to sit in a quiet room and can’t do anything that makes me feel productive. Not to mention my coworker (whom I don’t even like, and I know doesn’t care for me) tells me REALLY personal health information that I would never want to know about anyone, and that no one outside her doctor, husband, and maybe best friend should ever know about (Kidney stones, UTIs, and Yeast Infections OH MY!) I know more about my coworkers scheduled cervix exams than anyone outside an OBGYN’s office should know. Honestly is this a form of sexual harassment? Your coworker oversharing information about their genitals that you never asked or showed any interest in? It’s a form of something thats for sure, and it’s sure as hell not appropriate.  Then I come home and either go for a run first or just go straight to spend time making dinner, this is mostly okay, I enjoy cooking and baking so trying new things is nice, sometimes it’s annoying when it doesn’t come together but c’est la vie.  But then I’m done cooking and eating and then I’m not sure what to do. I’m tired at this point but I’ve eaten enough food and I’ve been on my feet enough. Counting calories (and types of calories) often leaves little to no room for any alcohol. I used to love a glass of wine with dinner and then usually another glass or two after the fact, and maybe a snack.  But now I’m realizing that these things helped me relax and unwind, just like eating snacks throughout the day, eating and drinking after dinner was like part of a ritual, and now I’m stuck without that. Sometimes I drink an herbal tea or a hot chocolate, but its just less satisfying. I came home today early from work because I have a hectic weekend schedule and need to do this deep cleaning that I am currently procrastinating on. I’ve already gotten so much done and I’m glad I took the time off, but like, I also want to make a cocktail and have a pizza right now like it’s no ones business and I simply cannot do that right now. 1. I do have derby practice tonight so I couldn’t drink right now or eat something heavy if I wanted to, and 2. I don’ have that kind of stuff in the house so I’m not going out to sabotage myself. I also know if I chowed down on a whole pizza (a feat that would be a piece of cake a few months ago) I’d feel like ultimate garbage and probably give up cleaning entirely and just lay down and zone out to netflix. This thought is comforting because I know I’m getting more shit done and not eating something that I’ll regret later.  Roller Derby gives me a lot of anxiety, I was never the best player but I was excited to be back, but I’m scared to go tonight because I’m feeling frustrated and just want to stay home. My thoughts are telling me that I’m going to suck at laps and that I’m going to make an idiot out of myself tonight because I’m already feeling like a big useless baby anyway from not having anything to do at work all week, but I know I will be self defeated if I don’t go. I’m hoping that by going I’m able to get some of this frustration out (it’s contact tonight so time to hit people!) and I can transfer the negative energy that I’m feeling into some positive endorphin fueled brain matter.  I don’t really have a point for any of this, other than my frustrations are at an all time high this week and I have no way to get it out of my system because my previous habits weren’t entirely healthy and I’m not sure how to channel them in a healthy way so now it’s effecting me in all aspects of life and I’m not feeling very healthy at all. It’s just a vicious cycle I’m in right now and I’m fucking fed up.

[everythinghiveswap]

I finally got a curiouscat (it’s EHiveswap) so here’s catchup on all the questions hiveswap devs answered before now:

18 Nov Anon: To your knowledge, do any of the rustbloods have psychic powers? Personally I hope Diemen has some. hamesatron: i think they all have relatively weak telekinetic powers. i like to think that marsti can just... clean herself of dirt.

18 Nov Anon: of the official friendsim tunes you've worked on, which is your favorite? hamesatron: clownfucker

18 Nov Anon: favorite song in hiveswap? (even if unreleased) hamesatron: one of the strifes in act 2 is a toby/james production that is extremely good

19 Nov Anon: How much music are you producing for Hiveswap act 2? Really love your songs dude hamesatron: a lot

22 Nov Anon: what's the hotdog troll's name? hamesatron: Aysha said she named him HUNGRY JUGGLR

28 Nov Anon: Canon marvus voice????? hamesatron: the WHATS POPPINNNNNNN guy

28 Nov Anon: mr. roach sir, what is chixie's lusus? hamesatron: huge cow

6 Dec Anon: do clowns have to have face paint? hamesatron: they probably just like it a lot

9 Dec Anon: Do you know if the change in the Troll Call page is indicative of anything going on with the game production? hamesatron: yes

9 Dec Anon: I get the impression that prior to the friendsims quite a few of the trolls weren't as well defined as they are now. Do you know if it's wound up sparking any act two rewrites by any chance? hamesatron: writing staff has changed

15 Jan Anon: Ok this is a really dumb question but can you PLEASE tell me what went through your mind when you wrote kuprum and folykls route. I love it with all my heart but how did you get the idea of gremlin makeout 2018 aufarah12: idk i guess i've read too much fanfiction so if someone sucks power out of someone else, idk. they gotta suck power out of someone's mouth.

15 Jan Anon: if mspa reader could go back to alternia one last time who would they go see first? aufarah12: tagora

15 Jan Anon: Is galekh x tagora canon??? aufarah12: yes

16 Jan Anon: This comes from a place of genuine curiosity and isn't supposed to be sarcastic or anything but why is lanque one of your favorite characters? aufarah12: i've loved him since his design was revealed. i love homme fatales. and i like jerks.

16 Jan Anon: Which volume was the hardest to write? aufarah12: Chahut, because clowns are not in my comfort zone, and marsti, because i struggled with how to give her depth and not make her just a classist joke or someone you needed to "save".

16 Jan Anon: In a hypothetical scenario in which they’re actually together and got more interaction offscreen, What quadrant...... are marsti&folykl in aufarah12: probably a flushed/pitch flip

16 Jan Anon: how would mallek and xefros get along aufarah12: mallek would be chill and friendly and xefros might think he was making fun off him

16 Jan Anon: tegiri and azdaja. both nerds. what quad do you think theyd be perf in aufarah12: probably pitch although they might just kill each other

16 Jan Anon: How did you get your job working on friendsim? Did you have a specific fanwork that got you noticed by Hussie? aufarah12: i met him through mutual friends but i'd be disappointed if he hadn't read AT LEAST my popstar davekat

16 Jan Anon: why is fol and kups relationship so... horny for a moirallegiance aufarah12: different strokes for different folks

18 Jan Anon: how do you pronounce chahut? aufarah12: cha-and then sort of an elision between "hut" and hoot"

18 Jan Anon: I listened to your appearance on that homestuck podcast (Great job by the way!) and you mentioned how you originally planned for folykl and kuprum to be at a party? my question is....how so. like party crashing or do they actually have other friends. also thank you for making them so delightfully awful, they constantly make me feel bad about my taste in characters in the best way. aufarah12: i was picturing that super shitty nerd club they go to in hackers. where there's a bunch of idiots roller blading and playing video games

18 Jan Anon: Skylla was awesome, agreed! Do you think she has a chance at anything with Konyyl? aufarah12: i think the real question is, does konyyl have a chance of anything with her?

19 Jan Anon: If Mspa Reader did something bad to a friend how would they try to get their forgiveness? aufarah12: time travel

19 Jan Anon: does hussie own your characters or do you own them? aufarah12: skaianet industries "owns" them. the way marvel owns spiderman. if i wanted to say, write "the gross adventures of folykl and kuprum" i'd have to get the boss's permission.

19 Jan Anon: Why did Reader leave his planet? aufarah12: earth sucks

20 Jan Anon: How much of a character's personality were already laid out for you and how much did you make up? Did the friendsims determine how they'll act in act 2? aufarah12: depends on the character. i got basically nothing for polypa or chixie. for skylla i got a big description, dialogue sample, and a bunch of farm memes.

20 Jan Anon: do you know the lusii of the trolls you've written and can you reveal them to us? aufarah12: i haven't really thought about any that weren't actually in the route. konyyl's is probably a bear or a lioness. oh! chahut's is a duck. a small duck that she keeps in the sink.

20 Jan Anon: mspa reader true sign? aufarah12: well @summoning101 has declared them to be a prince of void but i don't know when their birthday is. possibly they're a leo.

20 Jan Anon: Did you ever work for WP in a formal capacity, and if you did are you still one of their employees? aufarah12: yes.

20 Jan Anon: what’s a skylla konyyl hate date like aufarah12: there will probably be some punching

21 Jan Anon: do you have any classes for the trolls you wrote? aufarah12: not really...classes area SBURB thing, and these trolls don't play. but...boldir i think would be a seer, and skylla would be a knight. so another knight of time i guess.

21 Jan Anon: How do you pronounce roixmr? aufarah12: i pronounce it roy-mer

27 Jan Anon: How often are trolls born with wings? It has to have happened at least more than once, and is it more common among lower bloods? aufarah12: I don't think it's a very common mutation, since we only ever saw Rufioh, but it has to be common enough to have become myth. so....maybe it's happened a couple times?

27 Jan eviemaybee: how come lanque be older than bronya traceExcalibur: take this with a grain of salt because I don't know if my information is still up to date but I think Bronya is supposed to be the oldest of the jadebloods

27 Jan eviemaybee: i assumed she wasnt because lanque got confirmed as legal age but bronya didnt traceExcalibur: presumably, that's just because it was considered important to make it clear wrt Lanque because of the content of his route

November 18, 2018 - January 27, 2019

[satannedtrash]

a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?” 

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker 

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

no

at-

no

him 

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, ��you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord 

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 8-14

DAY EIGHT [JAN 8]

9:00 AM - Wake up still feeling full from yesterday’s black bean burgers. Make a chemex and start working. I have a performance evaluation today and as well as an after-work happy hour so I want to try to get everything done before the review and then workout after before HH.

10:30 AM - Eat a banana

12:30 PM - Have a short break before my performance review. Make a Greek-ish salad and drink a Seltzer before my quarterly performance review which I am slightly nervous for since I was very slow in both November & December.

3:00 PM - Performance review went well. No criticism from my boss, though I should’ve known. She is the most direct supervisor I’ve ever had so I always know where I stand. Eat some grapes. I’m not super sore today but there’s something in me that’s saying to take a breather from exercising today (probably my “reward” for a good performance review), so I slowly finish my work for today.

4:00 PM - My best friend (let’s call her T) from high school calls and we catch up for 45 minutes. Pour a mezcal soda while we chat. I let her go attend Happy Hour and realize this after work HH thing isn’t happening. Today is David Bowie’s bday and I get sentimental about the annual David Bowie Nights I would do with H (I never gave him a name in my last diary, but we’ve remained pals over the years and he will probably come up more this time around). I FaceTime H kinda drunkenly and he goes to the corner store and joins me with a bottle of wine. I pour a second mezcal soda. We chat until 7:45 and I lowkey make dinner towards the end.

8:00 PM - K and I eat veggie sandwiches with potatoes for dinner. He slinks off to work more and I facetime another friend, J to chat about H’s latest drama. 

10:00 PM - Go out on the couch to find K already falling asleep. I’m kind of drunk anyways and there’s no point staying up so we decide to turn in.

DAY EIGHT TOTAL: $0

DAY NINE

2:00 AM - Wake up sweating. This is my new hangover thing and has been happening throughout quar. Drink some water, turn on the fan, and stay up for an extra 30 minutes until I pass out again.

9:15 AM - Wake up feeling ok! Make a chemex and watch the latest episode of Dessert Person on YouTube.

10:30 AM - Get started on blog stuff for the day. I have a stacked list of stuff I want to shoot this weekend. I’m only one ingredient spread in before I start to feel light-headed from last night’s alcohol, so I break to make breakfast – tofu/egg scramble tacos with soyrizo. I still feel a little weird after so I drink a nuun and things start to improve.

3:30 PM - I shoot thousand island dressing, Russian dressing, cauliflower leek soup, and the first half of seitan corned beef. Tomorrow I’ll finish that, and shoot rubens, italian dressing and a greek salad. I don’t usually shoot 7 recipes in one weekend, but I’m very much out of content. 

4:30 PM - Finish shooting for the day and eat a small bowl of cauliflower leek soup. 

6:00 PM - Working out on the weekends is always hard because of lack of routine / structure, but I suck it up and do a barre live stream. Shower and watch the last of the Suns game and import photos. 

7:45 PM - Make veggie sandwiches with miso butter green beans for dinner. This is the last of our veggie sandwiches which is sad. I love them so much! Spend the rest of the evening with K. We watch part of the 76ers game where they only had 7 players, a few episodes of Letterkenny, and then I read Remain in Love while he played RocketLeague.

DAY NINE TOTAL: $0

DAY TEN

8:45 AM - Doomscroll in bed for a bit and finally make myself a chemex. Put on an old episode of The Challenge. Buy a very belated birthday present for a friend - mamafuku seasoned salts. $34.95

10:30 AM - Pump myself up for shooting for the rest of the day. I have to finish the seitan, then shoot a greek dressing, a greek salad, and reuben sandwiches. None of these things should take too long but I also shot all day yesterday so I’m dragging ass. 

3:15 PM - Finially finish! I ended up also taking a decent break to chat with my sister on the phone part way through. I think everything looks alright though. 

4:00 PM - Import photos, eat a cup of cauliflower leek soup with a La Croix, watch an episode of The Challenge, try to hype myself up to exercise but by the time I am ready to play DDR, K says we’ll be zooming with his parents in just a short while.

5:30 PM - Drink the last of the wine in the house – a true bummer – on zoom with K’s parents. Cook dinner after – reubens with miso butter broccoli with more La Croix. We watch some Letterkenney and then K plays RocketLeague while I read some Remain in Love / zone out on fone. 

9:00 PM - K finishes playing and I assume the DDR position. My tracking has already improved quite a bit since Tuesday. I play most of the tracks on standard and close my Apple Watch rings after 30 minutes. Rinse off, put the Challenge back on and edit photos of Russian Dressing. 

DAY TEN TOTAL: $34.95

DAY ELEVEN

8:30 AM - Ugh Monday. I actually have a lot to do already today. Make a chemex and do the dishes leftover from yesterday’s cooking adventures. Pure barre charge comes through. $15

9:45 AM - I have a giant stack of packages and mail in the house from the past few weeks. Open up one of them and it contains a phone case I bought from a “tech company” that is probably just a fancy version of Wish. Slap it on my phone. I honestly can’t believe I went over a month without a case without cracking anything. I’m amazing.

10:00 AM - Missed a call on Friday afternoon from an appraiser scheduler, so I call them back to get something on the calendar for next week after MLK day so I have the 3-day weekend to clean. Eat yogurt for breakfast.

12:00 PM - Make a greek salad for lunch with a La Croix. It’s really good but not very filling. I have a feeling today is going to have a heavy snack vibe.

2:00 PM - Eat a handful of pretzels. 

3:00 PM - Eat 2 clementines

4:00 PM - Eat a handful of tortilla chips. Start thinking about dinner. Don’t want to do reubens and burritos sound really nice so I start the process of making chile de arbol salsa and instant pot refried beans.

5:30 PM - Do a Pure Barre livestream. My focus is a little better than Saturday, so I’ll take it!

7:00 PM - Make rice on the stove while I clear some dishes and make burritos for din. Spend the rest of the eve watching random YouTube videos with K. He falls asleep at some point on and I turn on The Challenge. 

11:00 PM - Gently wake K up and we head to bed. Put on the Suns game from earlier and cuddle up. By the end of the first quarter, I’m asleep.

DAY ELEVEN TOTAL $15

DAY TWELVE

8:30 AM - Wake up to find a couple of weird charge notifications. One is from Instacart for the exact amount of my last order – a duplicate charge. And the other is an auto-ship from Thrive market but it was supposed to charge my mom. I text her to let her know she owes me $20. I won’t include either of these charges since I’ll get reimbursed / refunded. The autoship also reminds me to look at the account and cancel my next one with Thrive.

9:00 AM - Get the stuff sorted out with Instacart. They’re going to email my sister (we share this account) the deets and she’ll forward to me. Make a chemex and make my way through the stack of paper mail before starting my workday. One of them is a confirmation of my credit score – 749. Sign a bunch of papers and put them in a giant envelope to send back to the loan company.

10:00 AM - Eat plant yogurt for breakfast and try to focus on the outstanding tasks I have this AM which is surprisingly kind of a lot.

11:45 AM - H texts me saying he forgot his wallet to buy lunch and asks me to place an order at Chipotle that he can pick up. Always happy to help! Place the order online and it’s $10.43. He PayPals me $10 for the damage. $0.43

12:45 PM - Make a greek salad for lunch with a La Croix. This salad has like 5 calories since the dressing is oil-free and leaves me wanting more. 

1:00 PM - Eat a handful of mini pretzels. 

3:00 PM - Heat up a small bowl of cauliflower lentil soup. Officially done snacking until din.

5:15 PM - Done with workie. Make a nuun and do barre live stream. The class recording this time is actually “easy” which is nice – my body must be adjusting to the new moves. Make leftover bean cheeze and rice burritos for din.

7:00 PM - K and I watch King of the Hill for a bit and then he plays RocketLeague while I read some Remain in Love and then work on a post for Russian dressing. Watch some of the Challenge in the background.

DAY TWELVE TOTAL: $0.43

DAY THIRTEEN

8:30 AM - Good morning to me! See a charge come in from Blueland for soap & dishwasher tablets. Kind of a bummer because I don’t need them at all right now. Move my next delivery date to November 1 and put a note on my calendar a week before to check my stock. Note that the Instacart charge is gone. Hooray! Make a chemex, do the dishes and spray down the counters. $25.19

9:30 AM - Not sure what it is about today, but my calendar is clear and I know tomorrow is going to suck with meetings, so I really take my time and ease into the day. I don’t feel super confident posting the Russian dressing all over the interweb and would rather stage it as a thousand island vs Russian dressing kind of thing, so I just decide to post on Insta, Pinterest, and one Reddit forum before deciding that’s good enough. 

10:00 AM - Eat a yogurt. These Oui ones are really too sweet for me, but I’m at the mercy of whatever is on sale because honestly yogurt is a giant rip off. I should learn how to make my own.

12:30 PM - Make another greek salad with La Croix for lunch. Fully prepared to snack again since this guy is just not very filling. 

1:20 PM - Eat a handful of mini pretzels

2:30 PM - Eat a cup of cauliflower leek soup. I’m actually caught up on work for once which is nice. Looking forward to knocking out barre before 7 PM - hah. We’re still a week out from needing groceries, but it takes a while to plan/prep. With the appraisal on Tuesday, I know it’s not going to be a fun weekend so I start thinking about what I want to make for the rest of the month.

3:30 PM - Find a bougie polenta recipe I want to give a go as well as shoot oil-free instant pot refried beans and nacho cheese with potatoes and carrots. And use all of that to make sheet pan nachos. Should be a fun weekend of shooting there. Eat grapes. 

4:30 PM - I can’t hang with how hungry I am. Eat tortilla chips and salsa. Do a barre live stream and do a peloton 10 minute low impact ride. 

8:00 PM - K isn’t hungry for dinner so I heat up a Philly burrito and eat it with more tortilla chips and Sweedish Fish for “dessert.” I watch some of The Challenge and then K and I play Mario Kart and watch Letterkenny before turning in.

DAY THIRTEEN TOTAL: $25.19

DAY FOURTEEN

8:30 AM - I hate 9 AM meetings. Get my shit together enough to make a chemex before I have to be on the call.

10:00 AM - I can’t handle how many snacks I keep eating throughout the day. Toast a bagel for breakfast with Earth Balance, everything but the bagel seasoning, nooch, and salt. Eat some Sweedish Fish while I wait for the bagel to toast.

12:30 PM - Make the same greek salad with a lemon La Croix. I eat quickly as I have to present at 1 so I eat quickly in prep for that.

2:50 PM - It’s over! It went well and got good compliments on my presentation skills by all parties. AND I’m not starving. A win for all! I realize half the lights in my bedroom & bathroom are out which is a bad scene for appraisal. Buy some replacements on Amazon. $27.98

3:10 PM - Start building the grocery order for next Wednesday. I realize I’m doing this really far in advance, but I’m worried I won’t have the gusto for it this weekend. 

4:30 PM - Heat up a small cup of cauliflower leek soup for a snack. Debate to myself about whether or not I want to do barre and for whatever reason an hour of it sounds boring. DDR sounds fun though so I go for that instead. Get a good cal burn and even AA Kind Lady on Heavy. It’s coming back baby!

6:00 PM - Rinse off and make dinner – we’re doing Reubens tonight with roasted potatoes. Really really delicious dang. 

8:30 PM - Drink a yellow chartreuse with Lagunitas Hop Water and play Mario Kart with K. Then edit photos of cauliflower lentil soup for my blog.

DAY FOURTEEN TOTAL: $27.98

[mmakehappy]

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? i’ll try to do this chronologically again: so at the beginning of january one of my best friends left to study abroad in rome which was sad and i missed her a lot. i saw rory scovel do stand up. i took an animation class which was fun for the first few weeks until i failed it lmao. actually my classes from jan to march did not go so well tbh but whatever i made it through. my sister came to visit me the weekend before st paddys day which was super fun and then we saw panic which was soooooooo fuckin rad i love them still wow! i went home for spring break and visited a local winery w my dad which was a lot of fun and then a week later uhhh me and @carrot-gallery became gfs!!! and my whole frickin life changed bc i love her so much wow!! but then a week after that i turned 22 and spent my birthday alone! which i tried to pretend didnt make me sad but by the end of the day i was very sad about it and thats when my sweet gf called me to sing happy birthday and i sobbed on my couch and ill never forget that!!! so okay then spring quarter classes started and i was a part of depaul’s visiting artist series which was super cool... i met a lot of new awesome people (both at depaul and the industry ppl that were our guests!) and made some great friends in that class! i was a house manager and camera op which was super fun. i went to a screening of my fave professor’s short film which was also rad. i saw a ghost story at the chicago critics film festival, which was amazing. i saw idiocracy in 35mm and then mike judge did a q&a! the very next day i was house manager for depaul’s student film festival at the music box! i saw chris gethard do a live recording of beautiful/anonymous and then also do some standup, that was awesome. i saw day wave live!!! amazing! i spent an entire dystopian day dealing with megabus. that was hell! i sat at an outdoor amphitheater and even tho i couldnt really see him i got to listen to seu jorge sing david bowie covers and life was magical for a few hours. my sisters came up to visit me and we saw aladdin the musical and had our minds blown, it was soooo fun! i went to the chicago pride parade for the very first time but i went by myself and at one point i was sitting on the curb just crying! not a high point but still memorable. i won a ticket to an advanced screening of the big sick where kumail & emily were there to do a q&a after the movie.... had a fuckin blast OBVIOUSLY and then saw the movie 9 other times in various theatres. i also made it into a commercial FOR the movie i just loved it that much lmao! i moved into a new (and my current) apartment! lorde released melodrama and fucking murdered me in my own home. otherwise i had a pretty uneventful but anxiety filled summer bc of financial aid stuff so that really sucked. i saw good time w taylor and the safdie brothers were there to do a q&a and they were such interesting guys i could listen to them talk for hours honestly. my mom and sisters came up to visit me and we took our mom to her very first cubs game which was sooo so much fun and they won that day too!! it was awesome and we had a great time :) watched the eclipse (or tried to anyway!!) fall quarter classes started and i honestly kicked ass at them, i got on the deans list (i almost typed honor roll lmao i mean its basically the same) i hung out with ari again which was cool!! we went to the aquarium! me and taylor saw beach fossils which was honestly the most buckwild concert ive ever been to i think, it was good shit. i got jobs at AMC (which i have since quit lmao) and starbucks and left my job at the paint place which was bittersweet! me and taylor saw mbmbam live!!! so fun!! and we watched trolls that night and goofed on it so hard!! i went home for thanksgiving and found out my big sister is gonna have a baby this year!! :D i saw mike birbiglia do stand up! which was soooo incredible of course (except i felt bad bc my mom was supposed to come w me but she couldnt go! so i brought taylor lol) UMMMMM MY DAM GIRLFRIEND CAME TO CHICAGO TO VISIT ME AND STAYED FOR A WHOLE DANG WEEK AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER SHE MAKES ME SO HAPPY WE HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I MISS HAVING HER RIGHT NEXT TO ME EVERY SINGLE GOSH DANG DAY <3 ;_____; and that was my year!!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? last year i said id like to read at least one book each month and watch at least 100 movies - i did neither! im keeping the movie resolution though bc cmon 100 movies should be EASY for a film major wtf am i doing!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no but it will happen in 2018! 

4. Did anyone close to you die? not a person but we had to put down my sweet doggo, flash :(

5. What countries did you visit? still none :/

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? More confidence that I actually deserve to be in college and that I can do this shit and I’m awesome <– that was my answer from last year and the year before but yeah. same. also money.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ummm march 25 when me and gf became gfs and also dec 17 when she came to visit :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? putting myself out there by doing VAS/Premiere, getting on the deans list for the first time since freshman year and then also getting a new job

9. What was your biggest failure? this summer i didnt do shit besides wallow and cry and it sucked!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope

11. What was the best thing you bought? every movie ticket and the bras i bought for natalie ;-)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? natalie’s because she’s amazing and works so hard!!!! and she can always cheer me up and im so in love w her

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? mine bc i could never just get my shit together and do my homework when i was supposed to :) < thats from last year but lmfao same!

14. Where did most of your money go? RENT, movie/event tix, food, in that order

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? THE BIG SICK, the new season of sv, p much all of the events that i listed in the first question lol

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? umm honestly probably any song from melodrama

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier, b. probably thinner? or maybe the same idk, and c. definitely DEFINITELY poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? read and write and watch movies and write and read about movies

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spending money and also being bitter about everything for no reason <– last year and the year before that AGAIN and also same!

20. How did you spend Christmas? working at AMC which i hated every second of :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2016? yes with my amazing girlfriend @carrot-gallery

22. What was your favorite TV program? silicon valley, AMERICAN VANDAL, the good place, great british bake off

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nah just politicians who like. actively want me to die lol

24. What was the best book you read? bitch,

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? mitski like why the fuck did i sleep on her..... tbh thats about it bc i still listen to the same music i did 10 years ago

26. What did you want and get? I wanted a steadier/better paying job and i have it!

27. What did you want and not get? idk i wanted to be financially stable on my own and i still dont have that

28. What was your favorite film of this year? ugh i hate this question! ok in no order: THE BIG SICK, GOOD TIME, A GHOST STORY, GET OUT, THE FLORIDA PROJECT

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? uhhh having my sweet girlfriend by my side each and every day 

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? sometimes chic, always sweaty

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? kumail nanjiani duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, taika waititi, and martin starr always and probably more but i legit cant think of anyone rn lol

33. What political issue stirred you the most? yikes all of it. all of the issues (this was from last year but same lmao)

34. Who did you miss? i miss my dogs and my family and my girlfriend 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You can set goals for yourself and talk about it all you want but it’s nothing until you actually start working towards it and doing something about it. <– answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that, still true!! imma keep that. also idk just like, there are good days and super bad days and ive survived all of them so its just a reminder to myself that ill be okay.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. These days will all seem better in time Waiting on that hindsight

[d2diamond]

2017 End of the Year Writing Round Up

Although I’ve been writing for years, it wasn’t until mid last year that I discovered Ao3, and Tumblr. Then this year, I discovered Yuri on Ice, and my writing went from a couple a year to many more.

In fact, I currently have 20 stories in total. Which I know isn’t a lot when compared to a lot of you awesome people out there, but I have high hopes for 2018.

My word count is currently at 39,063 if you only count what I’ve published on Ao3 and Tumblr, however, if you add what I’ve written for the unpublished Deck of Kingdoms, (that I’ve been working on since February) my word count is at a total of 141,263. Which, again, isn’t much, but it’s a lot for me.

I started off the year with a Series of Short Stories. It was supposed to be from multiple fandoms but has so far only been Yuri on Ice. Which I will probably keep it that way.

The stories within are:

Yurio’s Friends. - This was just some random story that popped in my head before I even finished watching the series.

Love me back to health - A story requested by the lovely @ishxallxgood .

Grumpy Cat - a Tumblr prompt requested by @rosesnfeathers​

Notice me - another Tumblr prompt requested by @severeminx​

Yuuri’s talented tongue - another little idea that popped into my head one night.

Bedtime story - the sweet @the-angry-walnut-fairy requested one night when we were both up way past our bedtimes.

Sleeping - A little story that again, decided to take residence in my head.

Fight me, you attractive stranger - A Tumblr prompt requested by Victuri-oh-nice. (Miss her).

What if… - The weirdest compilation of rare pairs. This is the first time JJ/Georgi was mentioned, which @phaytesworld denied me of, only for @chou-3 to change her mind. (Thankfully) ((Love you both)).

Quiet, they can hear us - A Tumblr prompt requested by @n3rdlif343va

All of these have been added as I write them, so it’s been throughout the year.

All I ask - A story I co-wrote with @ishxallxgood . I really love how she can turn nearly any song into a beautiful story. I really felt honored to help with this.

Golden Sun & Midnight Moon - After keeping up with @beanpots Sun and Moon AU, @gittana posted a modern day picture of Victor and Yuuri for the AU, and that spawned a one-shot that I wrote to go along with it. … Except it was so well received, I’m now 6 chapters, and 9,504 words in and it’s still a W.I.P. … I plan on updating as soon as I can.

N3rdlif343va’s birthday post. - I had a lot of fun with this and breaking the forth wall.

Severminx’s birthday post. - Another 4th wall breaking birthday post.

Rosenfeather’s birthday post. - I was on a roll with these, unfortunately, I ran out of steam. They were fun to write though.

Halloween 1st. - My tribute to Halloween. There was a second chapter, but it sucked, so I deleted it.

Ma pêche, my peach - A story I wrote for my lovely Peach.

Bar Stories - A story I co-wrote with @xmadamrosex . Lots of fun. She’s so much fun to write with.

To His Heart. - An ABO story for the SecretSanta 2017 project for @insidetwizzles

Dysfunctional Christmas Carols. - A short story for the SecretSanta 2017 project for @kuroganetzuki .

These are all the stories that I have published. I know it’s short, but also keep in mind that since early February I’ve been working on a multi-chapter Yuri on Ice story called Deck of Kingdoms. I’ve already written 23 chapters and over 100K words for it. I’m looking forward to publishing it starting Jan. 4th.

Here’s to 2018, and many more stories, chapters, and projects. I’ve already talked to a few fellow writers about joint projects, and I’ve applied to at least one Zine. (Wish me luck). I hope to many more words in the next year.

[wannabeollg]

so this is basically my mood. its been my mood for a really long time:( I'm not typing this attention from all 11 of my followers💀 I'm typing this bc I have to get it out. journaling isn't enough. so basically, since freshman year, I've gone through bouts of some seriousness sadness. I dont want to say depression bc I wasn't diagnosed with it, but for all I know I am... anyways, I'm just sad. I was put in alternative school for a little bit because I didn't something totally stupid but I learned my lesson. 6 weeks away from my friends was a good punishment. anyways, I went back to regular school on Jan. 8... I was excited to see all my friends but they didn't really share quite the same enthusiasm. I shrugged it off.. I mean I have classes with them so not a big deal, right? I'd get to sit with them during class. we could gab and catch up then.... but it didn't really turn out that way. some people that I thought were some of my closest friends, barely talk to me now. maybe its bc I was gone for basically 2 months, and we just drifted apart from each other. I'm starting to get closer to the person that I considered my first friend at my new school after I moved, again. that does make me happy. I've missed her so much. but I've also gone thru some other shit. in July 2017, my best friend decided to cut ties with me a week before school was to start up again. she gave me no explanation. it hurt. it hurt so much. my boyfriend had just broken up with me exactly a week before, and i didnt even bat an eyelash... but when she told me she thought itd be best if we just werent friends anymore, i froze. i felt numb. she was my best friend. it was supposed to be us against the world... i guess not. i cried a lot. i cried for the first time in months. i had been doing pretty okay, mental health-wise, and then she just randomly did that...and now, almost half a year later, it still hurts. I didn't get closure and probably won't, now. but also, in march 2017, I got drunk for the first time. the boy that had broken my little sophomore heart, was at the same get together I was. it was at my friends house and he was her brothers friend... of course he was going to be there. but anyways, I got drunk. I got sad bc me and him were joking around and acting like pals, but we were intoxicated so it made sense. anyways, I quietly got upset bc I realized. how much things had changed between us. I mean, we were juniors in high school and we went almost that entire year without talking to each other. we were such good friends and then he ditched me for his new gf... he did me dirty but I still wanted him- how pathetic. anyways, I'm off topic so at the party, I, drunkenly, confronted him about it and I cried (*facepalms*). he said we were still friends, but were not. its not the same. we just go to the same school and maybe have a few classes together?? its not the same. but anyways, i told him everything that i had been thinking for that past year, and i got my closure...and I didn't want to admit it back then because how could I have known? I had no experience. I didn't know what it felt like... but now, I'm pretty sure I loved him. and I think a part of me still does, so much for that closure. so yeah, I think I'm still in love with the boy who left me for another girl, even after I told him I liked him and he told me he liked me back. that's what fucked me up the most. that little bit of hope fucked me up. and now we're gonna graduate in may and I won't see him probably ever again. we're both going in different directions. he's going into the airforce and I'm going into the army and he's still with that bitch lmao jk she's not a bitch but I have a strong distaste for her since January 2016. ever since then, I pretty much figured I wouldn't ever have a bf during hs. I briefly had one over summer 2017, but it was more of a fling. and then the guy that I had liked for a short time, asked me out in august 2017.... and I wanted so badly to say yes, because yes! he's cute and ambitious!! but, he has a kid. a whole baby momma who is also in my grade. I couldn't. I wanted so badly to say yes. I wanted to kiss him on the mouth and hold hands with him and just say yes! but I didn't... later in September, a little scandal broke that I was trying to break up the lovely couple... which I wasn't.... I mean it wasn't my fault that he caught feelings.... but yep so that happened.. I think those were the main parts of 2017 tbh. sorry, I'm just blabbering on, but its nice to get this out... so imma continue not tryna sound conceited, but i think I'm easily liked... like whats not to like about me? I'm smart, athletic, funny, and not ugly. maybe I'm on the chubbier side, but I'm not pushing the limits by any means. and I know guys have had "crushes" on me. I mean 4 guys have told me that the like[d] me in my entire lifetime, that plus I can sorta tell when a guy dropping hints. so its not like I'm driving boys away. I've had one boyfriend, which was the fling so I barely consider him an actual relationship but we did make it official so ig I have to claim him... but anyways, ig no one wants me?? that worries me. I'm gonna graduate and go into the real world soon with no relationship experience other than how to make out (not even French kiss tho!!!) and its been awhile since that so idek if ik how to do that anymore. (btw I had my first kiss with fling-boy. April 2017, just a few days before my 17th birthday, so you can understand that just about only 3 months of sucking face only every other weekend is not a enough time to become an expert).... so yep. no experience, at all. I'm still a virgin too. bro I gtg. jk, I want my first time to be meaningful, so I'm not putting out to just any random guy.... but okay thats all I've been thinking about lately.. its a lot I know, but eh... I'm still feeling x( but maybe just a little less

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20 FOLLOWERS I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

tagged by: @kashtovel tagging:  @ackilleus, @truebelieved, @oflightanddark, @generaltiana, @imnotthesavior, @hookedcop, @swaniis, @storybrookeisms, @asundrop, @killerblonde, @anxntoldstory, @snowfallens, @shotsqueen, @imtinkerbell, @pirateheroism, @godscourt, @whispersong, i’m lazy so THAT’S ENOUGH

1.) name/nickname: emma (em is cool too) 2.) gender: female 3.) Star sign: capricorn 4.) Height: 5′2 ½ 5.) hogwarts house: ravenclaw (or gryffinclaw, if you believe in hybrids) 6.) favorite animal: ...it’s gonna sound cheesy if i say dogs & wolves bUT 7.) hours of sleep: 6-7 aka not enough 8.) dogs or cats: DOGS!!! 9.) number of blankets: 1-2. even in the summer i need a blanket lmao 10.) dream trip: been there done that, but uhh... idk staying w family friends in israel? 11.) dream job: none tbh 12.) time: 3:45 pm 13.) birthday: jan 13 14.) favorite bands: uhh.. first ones that come to mind are pentatonix, hyukoh, mamamoo, manganas garden, bolbbalgan4 15.) favorite solo artist: again not a comprehensive list but... alessia cara, troye sivan, hayley kiyoko, heize, dean, zion t, mystery skulls, miso, jessi, adib sin, ally hills 16.) song stuck in my head: love club by lorde 17.) last movie i watched: it 18.) Last Show I watched: once upon a time w cally! 19.) when did i create my blog: 10/11/17 20.) what do i post/reblog:  threads, images, ooc shit, etc 21.) last thing i googled:  can you ride a motorcycle with a skirt 22.) other blogs: heather mcnamara ( @yellowpilled ), currently inactive multi ( @starshung ), currently inactive ouat oc ( @briarborne​ ), technically i have personal but do i touch it? nope 23.) do i get asks: yup 24.) why i chose my url: bc ruby chose both sides of herself eventually + it was free 25.) following: no 26.) Followers: no 27.) lucky number: 13 28.) Favorite Instrument: cello and euphonium are both really fun to play + listen to, and the looks on people’s faces when you mention them (esp euphonium) are priceless. i’m also a total basic bitch for a good acoustic guitar tho 29.) what am i wearing: donut t-shirt and sweatpants w smiley faces on the knees 30.) favorite food:  do you really expect me to pick one?? 31.) nationality: ’murica 32.) favorite song: see favorite food 33.) last book i read:  working on the lover’s dictionary by david levithan 34.) top three fictional universes i’d like to join: HARRY POTTER... idk, realistically speaking a lot of fictional universes actually would kinda suck to live in so