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keyorsomething · 6 years ago

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►єυ∂ιєgσ яαит

✿Hello everyone!✿

Today, I'm going to simply be ranting about my thoughts on Eudora's character, and the ship between her and Diego.

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Warning! This will contain spoilers for any episodes past number three, and will discuss some serious and rather touchy topics. Reader discretion is advised.

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►1. єυ∂σяα'ѕ ¢нιℓ∂нσσ∂ (domestic violence trigger warning.)

!!!THIS IS JUST HEADCANON. DON'T ATTACK ME FOR MY WEIRD ASS HEADCANONS!!!

Eudora spent a lot of her younger years in a violent situation. She grew up in the ghetto of the city, and took up martial arts when she was young to learn to better defend herself. Her father abused her mother often, and her grandfather was the main reason she grew up to be as functional as she's shown to be.

Most children who grow up around intimate partner violence (IPV) have a lot of issues. She was lucky enough to have a grandfather who kept the violence as far away from her as possible. When she was eight years old, her mother was nearly murdered by her father, causing her grandfather to call the police. They were helped out of the situation, and Eudora's father was sentenced to 38 years in prison. She dreads the day that might come- where he lives long enough to get out of where he belongs.

Often times, children are distrustful of their female caretakers who were victims of IPV. They don't believe that the victim will care for them, causing independence to be forced at a young age, even after escaping the abuse. I believe that Eudora likely loved her mother a lot- but never fully trusted her, even into adulthood. Ever since she was nine years old, she'd decided that she never wanted to be like her mother. She saved thousands of dollars through all of her years in middle school and high school, so that when she was 18, she could move out immediately.

Seeing the violence in her home caused Eudora to want to stop it. She wanted to be someone who could prevent people getting hurt as her mother was, and was determined to become a cop. She saved up as much money as she could, and once she graduated highschool, she enrolled in the police academy, and bought a small apartment near it.

Update as of May 20th, 2019:

So, I saw a comment that I absolutely agree with, and slightly adjusted my headcanon.

Perhaps, instead of actually experiencing abuse in her own home, she experienced it second hand. A childhood friend, or someone like that. A less violent headcanon that I've also had for a while is that maybe her father just left, around the same time that Eudora's mother and her would have left in the other headcanon.

This version of my headcanon could still leave Eudora's mother wary of men, raising her to be careful around them. If her mother had a close friend, or sister, who escaped from a domestic abuse situation, it could also work better. Leaving Eudora wary of men, but not a direct victim of the abuse. Idk- tell me what y'all think?

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►2. тнє єαяℓу уєαяѕ σf ∂ιєgσ αи∂ єυ∂σяα'ѕ яєℓαтισиѕнιρ.

Both Eudora and Diego had little experience with relationships. Eudora, from a young age, was raised to be scared of men. She didn't think she'd ever want to have an intimate relationship with a man- mostly because she was terrified of becoming like her mother.

Diego grew up as a Hargreeves. Romance was strictly forbidden. He followed the rules as strictly as he could- he wanted nothing more than to be better than Luther at the Academy. In high school, though, he had many girlfriends. Never a long term relationship, though- everything was touch and go for him.

Things changed when they met in the police academy.

Eudora helped Diego through a lot. She tried her best to understand him, and listen to him when all he needed was to know that he's not worthless. He did the same for her, building an incredibly strong bond between the two. Eudora struggled a lot when she fell in love with him.

Diego wasn't dangerous, and she knew he'd never hurt her. But her whole world fell apart when she fell for him. She found reason after reason not to tell him, but she eventually confessed, after months of agonizing over the possibilities. He confessed the same, and their relationship extended to be romantic.

They both had no clue what they were doing, but they figured it out together. They were more alike than they thought, and just grew closer.

They explored a lot together. What their boundaries were romance wise. Their desires sexually (more on this later.)

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►3. ∂ιєgσ тнє ∂яσρσυт.

Diego was kicked from the academy when they weren't far from graduating. He couldn't seem to agree to the laws, so despite being undeniably good at what could've been his job, defiance clearly isn't a trait suitable for a police officer. Eudora was advised to stay away from him after that, due to suspicions that he'd interfere with her career, but she loved him, and he loved her.

Eudora allowed him to help her with assignments. They made an unstoppable team.

Or, what seemed to be an unstoppable team.

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►4. тнє ∂σωиfαℓℓ σf єυ∂ιєgσ.

Diego was bored with bureaucracy. He felt as though he wasn't helping the way that he should. He managed to get access to the police radio, and listened for hours, trying to find any crime to go after. He had moved into Eudora's apartment at this point in time- so it wasn't like she had to do much digging to figure out what he was doing.

Three nights in a row, he disappeared, without her knowing. He'd stopped minor crimes- convienent store robberies, small burglaries, etc. Though one night was different- Diego snuck out as usual, to the scene of some hostage situation at a Circle K just down the street. He didn't like to have to kill the bad guys- but he did.

That night, a lot of gunfire rang out. Eudora got a call at 1:00 AM, telling her she needed to get to the scene. Diego wasn't home, obviously- so she put two and two together. She'd waited just a few minutes, when he got home.

They fought. For the first time in their whole relationship, they fought. She kicked him out of her apartment- she felt hurt, betrayed, and angry at him. They broke up, and despite both parties trying numerous times, they couldn't seem to make it work.

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►5. тнє мσяє... ѕєχυαℓ вιтѕ.

SEXUAL TOPIC WARNING- I'M GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT BDSM AND SHIT LIKE THAT SO-

TUA doesn't exactly hide the kinkiness of Diego and Eudora's relationship. I mean- seriously.

Diego: "It's not spandex, it's leather. And you used to like it. A lot, if I recall."

Eudora: "God, please unremember that."

Diego: "Etched into the data bank, Eudora."

It's actually fucking hilarious to me- I'd probably break up someone too, if they were running around fighting crime in a BDSM suit. It's kinda great.

This subject is probably my favorite to talk about with Eudiego, cause it's really entertaining. A lot of people say that Klaus is the kinky Hargreeves sibling but uh?? No?? It's Diego?? Clearly.

Anyway, so about who would top- Eudora. I'm sorry, but her BDE is WAYYYYY too much for me to handle. Diego is, y'know, a switch- like, with Klaus, Diego would probably top (don't attack me for my opinions I swear-), but Eudora definitely topped in their relationship.

I mean, hell, she tased Diego instantly upon seeing him- like?? Hello?? Also, she shushed him just by putting her hand up. Idk, maybe I'm crazy, but I'm just obsessed with thinking about this part of their relationship. Especially when people try to argue with me about it, cause I fight anyone who dares to act like they think more about Diego and Eudora than I do lolol.

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►6. ωну ι ℓσνє тнιѕ ραιяιиg.

M'kay, so this is gonna be kinda sad. And serious- but ya. Just be warned I guess.

So, a lot of my friends ask me why I'm so obsessed with Diego and Eudora getting together again. A lot of them write it off as because it's just a ship of mine, but, actually? It's because of the ultimate feelings it gives me.

I constantly listen to "This Year's Love" (If you're somehow unaware, that's the song that played when Diego found Eudora's body.) Every time I listen to it, I can just feel the relationship they once had (and have the potential to have again). It speaks volumes for the way that they once felt about each other- and I love it.

I have been in multiple horrific relationships. Abusive, toxic, unrequited, etc. But, that song so clearly reminds me of the love that I adore. The love that I crave feeling.

One line that I constantly hear in my mind is "When ya kiss me, on that midnight street, sweep me off my feet, singin, 'ain't this life so sweet.'" The image it puts in my mind? Stunning.

As to why I think in the show that it's actually a really good pairing- they clearly care for each other. When Diego was in front of the station, waiting for Eudora, she seemed really annoyed. But the moment he mentioned his mom dying, everything about her softened. Her expression, her demeanor, and her voice changed.

Diego said "I just don't know how to-" and clearly began struggling to speak. Before he tried to continue, she just placed her hand on his arm- she didn't need him to continue. From this, I can assume that she's helped him before- or at least, she understands his emotions and struggles to some degree.

Another thing: their whole dynamic works really well. Almost a good girl likes the bad boy kinda thing, but different in a good way. Y'know? Because in most stories like that, the girl is really submissive and such- but Eudiego absolutely defies that. And I love it.

Finally, who was the first person Eudora called? Diego. The MOMENT he found out that she called- he left Five with Luther, and went after her. He was so clearly in anguish when he found her body. Luther had to hold him back from trying to attack Five when he got back to his place.

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►7. ωну ι ℓσνє єυ∂σяα.

So, I adore that we don't get a "soft" Eudora moment. We get plenty from Diego- and sure, she softened up when talking to him about Grace, but uh- we never really see a point where she's showing too much emotion. And I really like the insight that gives into her personality.

Also- I saw this article that was rating TUA characters, and it said that Eudora was the worst character in TUA. I, obviously, disagree- while I despise what they did with her, the character herself was really good. Her personality was honestly great- she was entertaining, kind, beautiful, amazing, and god dammit, I love Eudora.

She was also clearly passionate about her job. She cared about Diego- but her job came first. She did the right thing- the moment she found out where Diego's brother was, it didn't matter that she didn't have backup. She knew something needed to be done, and she did it. And even though Hazel had a gun pointed straight at her, she made sure that she clearly didn't shoot him.

Eudora is an undeniably good person. She loves helping people- otherwise, why would she be a cop?

There was a lot of potential lost, when they killed her off. Luckily, though- season two. The Hargreeves are going back in time. I understand that we got some good Diego development through her death- but what about the development we could have gotten if she lived? She knows Diego better than anyone. I think there was an entire background there that TUA really missed out on by killing her.

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My conclusion? Eudora is way underrated. I wish there was such an endless supply of fanart for her as there is for Klaus. That's why I myself draw her so frickin much- because she doesn't get as much love and appreciation.

Also- I actually once got told by this person that they don't ship Eudiego cause it's straight.

And I just-

Huh?? Like, it's still a good ship. Why once a ship is straight is it not shippable?

I don't care if you don't like Eudiego. What I care about is the reasons- and because it's not gay? That is a bullshit reason, man-

Anyway, I digress. I conclude my rant.

Oh, and, yes, I'll likely update this rant in the future :/

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If you saw this on TUA Amino, that's because I posted this there first- so ya uwu.

#eudora patch #eudora #queen eudora #eudiego #eudoriego #diego hargreeves #diego #i love them #bring her back in season 2 or i'll eat all your socks #ship: diedora #diedora

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sweettoothshipperrotg · 6 years ago

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okay I know I said last one but,,,,,, i couldn’t help myself- SO how about Superhero AU? With FrostedNature? (loveuthankubye)

Oh you and your promises of not sending more prompts. LIKE.YOU.COULD.HOLD.OUT (don’t you worry baby it’s fine, your prompts always make me happy :3)

Sorry this took so long, but I’ve finlly completed it.

Based on: ‘You’re my arch nemesis but our best friends are dating…I guess I’ll play nice in civvies, for now’ AU

Hope you enjoy!

SECRET IDENTITITES, MY FOOT

Jackson Overland Frost couldn’t believe his eyes when Bunnymund introduced his girlfriend’s best friend.

This was supposed to be a nice evening. He had cleared up his schedule specifically for tonight (if he kept on canceling every time something “came up”, Bunny would probably have strangled him) and was more than ready to enjoy his first free night in three years.

Luckily, he had been spared his friend’s backlash since Tooth’s friend also had to unexpectedly rain check their outing several times.

It wasn’t like Jack didn’t like the idea of his friend now being engaged (albeit, it had shaken him a little). Toothiana was a lovely woman, a bubbly behavior that balanced Bunny´s down to earth personality. The aussie had never been in such a long relationship before, but on the four year mark he decided to pop the question.

Jack, as the newly designated best man, was having a hard time handling his responsibilities for his friend’s wedding, his job at North’s store, and his “extracurricular activities”.

The couple had declared that their two friends had to meet in order for their nuptials to smoothly continue.

Toothiana had told him a little about the future bridesmaid. Emily Jane was a no-nonsense successful botanic researcher who Tooth had met at college and become friends with.

To anyone else such a friendship would have seemed rather odd, but considering that he had and Bunny had become friends when the blue-eyed boy was getting his ass handed to him during a bar fight, he understood. His opponent had managed to throw him over the table when Jack had tried to be a knight in shining armor and save one of his friends from a rather insistent ex-boyfriend. Aster had knocked the douchebag with a mean right hook and helped Jack up from the floor.

They had been besties ever since.

Now he was at a fancy restaurant in a five-star hotel, surrounded by his two friends and sitting in front of a stunning woman in a black dress who was sending intense glances his way.

Not in the sexy sense, more like “I want to murder you with this very steak knife I have in my hand” kinda way.

Although his presence had never warranted such a reaction from anyone he had met, there was a little problem.

He knew this woman.

And judging by the recognition in her eyes when they shook hands for the first time, she knew him as well.

Despite his best effort to keep his night job and his personal life separate, it seems it had come back to bite him.

The woes that betides a superhero.

Yes, he had superpowers. And yes he spent most of his free time as a vigilante making the streets of Burgess City a little safer to tread.

By now, Jack Frost had become more than just a fable among people.

It had been quite a decision when his ice powers manifested for the same time after his close call with death at the local pond he used to skate at with his little sister.

He remembered the cold and the dark water that surrounded him. He can even recall his sister screaming out his name from the surface. But then he woke up in a hospital bed after being unconscious for days and with his mother and sister asleep by his bedside.

His powers took two weeks to show themselves.

A glisten and a flurry of ice shot out of his hand into the tree next to him and covered it with an intricate and budding frost pattern. And the rest was history.

Had it not been for the present tense atmosphere, he would have chuckled at his memory of his first years as a superhero, running around with a mask and in an old blue hoodie. What a reckless kid he had been.

Thankfully his current supersuit was now more outfitted for combat and to handle his powers. North had been very helpful after Jack had busted into his shop to stop a large robbery.

And yes, of course North knew of his double life (the ex Russian scientist was his go to tech guy, after all). A superhero couldn’t keep down a stable job as easily as the comics made it look, and he had rent to pay.

In his many comings and goings he had faced many different foes: the low life criminals that preyed on the streets, the low level grunts of the mafia families, even a few corrupt leaders of the crime syndicates that sat atop of the city.

But none had been such a challenge like his arch nemesis. Persephone.With such a taste for dramatics, no wonder the universe had decided to search for someone to meet her match.

Her phytokinetic powers had him gawking at her when they first met at a bank robbery – that she orchestrated!

With a graceful swoop she and her plants had descended upon him and confronted him in one of the most engaging combats he had had in ages.

He was quick and nimble, but her defense and her strikes knocked the wind out of him.

Luckily, he had entertained her enough for the police back up to arrive.

She had left him fighting off thorny vines and unable to follow her and end the dance they had started.

Jack Frost had encountered the mysterious woman several other times.

She seemed to dabble in several types of crimes, but was quite adept to burglary. The high-class type. Although those pompous fishes could do with having a little less money, the upper class victims were outraged at the inability of the police to catch the masked villainess.

The mystery that was Persephone had kept him awake many nights. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all from a sleuth-related nature.

Her sly smile was ever present when he closed his eyes, so was her taught yet lithe body he had felt during close quarters combat and her alluring and taunting voice.

In other words, his imagination was playing against him. And he was losing, part of him wanted to put her behind bars so he would stop thinking of her so damn much.In another universe, these two characters would have never recognized the other; oblivious of their double life until some convoluted hand of destiny revealed their identities at a more inconvenient time.

But it seemed that fate had other plans.

His mind was brought back from his machinations all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this call.” Emily’s voice apologized profusely to her friend. “I’ll be right back. I promise.”

She sauntered out of view, almost as if she knew that his eyes would follow her.

“I…uh…I gotta use the restroom” He spluttered and excused himself away from the couple.

Jack passed the restrooms, and made his way to the open courtyard the hotel had.It looked quite pretty with the lights that illuminated the ornate fountain.

She was there, with her back to him and appearing to admire the abundant yet harmonic greenery that surrounded them.

Oh how freaking convenient.

He approached, carefully as you would to a deadly animal. The frost was starting to surge on his palm but yet he didn’t attack. The place was secluded but not enough for a full on battle to go unnoticed.

“Of all the places in this city, I find you here.” She still did not turn to face him. “How odd, isn’t it?”

Jack didn’t answer, sizing her up. He felt relief that she hadn’t take the steak knife with her, but that feeling burst when he realized she was far more deadly without it.

“And here I was planning such a show for when we met again.” Persephone said in her usual tone; the type of confident voice that came from always holding all the cards.

“Eager to see me, sweetheart?” The word escaped his mouth before he could help it.

They had slipped into well-known roles; their war of wits just as accelerating to him as their physical warfare.

“Flirt all you want, Frost.” Her head turned to glance at him, a smirk blooming in her lips. “But you’re not handing me over to the police just yet.”

The plants around them swooshed, but not because of the wind.

“Really?” Jack clenched his jaw, his muscles tensing. “And why is that?”

She now fully turned around and stepped forward, but he held his ground.

“Because you wouldn’t want to break your dear friend’s heart, would you?”

That sent a rush of fear through his blood. Instantly, a sharp spike of ice was forming onto his hand and was inches away from her neck. She didn’t even flinch. “If you dare harm Bunny or Tooth-”

“Spare me the theatrics, Frost.” She said calmly, as if she didn’t have an ice blade to her neck ready to run her through. “I’m not going to hurt any of them.”

Ok, that had him baffled.

“What?”

“I happen to truly care for Toothiana, and I even like Bunnymund enough to entrust him the safety and happiness of the only true friend I’ve ever had.” She firmly explained in all seriousness. “I would walk through burning coals for her and make anyone who hurts her wish they were dead.”

“What I meant to say is that we happen to be their best man and bridesmaid, quite crucial to their wedding if memory serves me right.” Emily continued to explain. “And I think it would put a damper on their wedding if I were to get rid of you or, in the most unlikely case, for you to send me to prison. That’s why I’ve decided we should reach a compromise.”

“What exactly did you have in mind?”

“A truce.” She replied with a confident smile. “I don’t go around on my nightly activities and you don’t try to throw me in jail while our friends are planning their wedding. Heck, we might have to work together to make it happen so it would be useful to not be at each other’s throats.”

Jack Frost had not expected this at all. Was she truly going to just play nice with him until their friends were married?

It felt like he was missing something. Once more, she had pulled the rug from under his feet.

Jack shook his head to clear out the fog, as the wheels spun inside his head. “How can I trust Burgess City’s top criminal to keep her word?”

“I guess it’s all about a leap of faith” She stepped closer and gently placed a hand on his chest, the ice dagger now pressing firmly against her skin but she paid it no mind since she was finding him far more interesting. The conflict that battled within those blue eyes of his was positively delicious, and so was his accelerated heartbeat. “Aren’t you heroes all about that, anyways?”

Silence stretched over them, both enemies sizing each other up for the others next move. But, in the end, it was him who spoke.

To be honest, he was probably making the biggest mistake of his life.

“Fine.” He warily acquiesced. “We play nice until Bunny and Tooth get married, but if I find out that you’re at it again then the deal is off.”

“Sounds good to me” She grinned, trying to suppress the mix of anticipation and adrenaline that had her self-control in such shaky grounds. “Now would you kindly put the icicle away? I need to get back to our table before Tooth gets worried.”

The spike vanished, and he retreated back so her influence would stop messing with his head.

She made her way out of the garden, but turned around to end their encounter with one last warning. “Don’t worry, once we cart them off to their honeymoon we can go back to destroying each other like always”

He didn’t grace her with an answer as the sharp click of her stilettos faded away in the distance.

Jack combed a hand through his hair and sighed.

There were definitely going to be some interesting months ahead of him.

TADA! Hope you liked it.

If you feel like sending asks, don´t hesitate to do so (it might take time but I’ll eventually get there, I promise!)

#emily jane pitchiner #Jack Frost #frosted nature #rise of the guardians #ROTG #jackfrostxemilyjanepitchiner #guardians of childhood #GoC

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buddaimond · 7 years ago

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By Phil de Semlyen. on November 10 2017

Q&A (Rob’s quotes in bold)

Q: The film’s directed by the Safdie brothers. I heard you spotted a picture from one of their other films online and basically cold-called them, then they wrote this film for you. Is that true?

‘It’s weird, Josh [Safdie] talked about this earlier: “I looked at the photo you were talking about and it was just a photo of an actress’s face!” It was from their film “Heaven Knows What” and I just had this feeling about it, so I sent them a couple of emails saying I was down to do anything.’

‘Good Time’ is set in a very specific New York world. Did you dive deep into that?

‘I spent a whole day in character. I’d never done anything like that before. Benny [Safdie, who plays his brother] and I spent a day in Yonkers, hanging out in Dunkin’ Donuts and meeting people he knew. We went to a couple of prisons too.’

Were there any ‘Twilight’ fans among the inmates?

‘There was one. We’d been there for five or six hours and no one had any idea who I was, but as we were leaving via this elevator full of inmates,  I could feel this guy staring at me. I went, “What?” and he just looks at me and goes, [puts on a broad Queens accent] “Fuckin’ ‘Twilight’!” [laughs]. Suddenly everyone in this elevator is staring at me. I’m literally going: “I don’t know what he’s talking about.” It was terrifying.’

There must have been some weird on-set moments, too. There’s a scene where a dye pack explodes in your car, for instance.

‘I had really bad bronchitis – it was freezing in New York at the time – and I basically breathed in an enormous amount of red paint. What I was spitting out for about three weeks afterwards was just insane.’

The feel of the film reminds me of those ’70s classics like ‘The French Connection’ – filming out on the city streets but not necessarily with all the relevant paperwork…

‘We filmed a robbery scene but we didn’t have permission to shoot outside the bank, only inside. We had masks on and there were cops everywhere. It looked like we were actually robbing a bank. I sent Josh this video a few days ago of a guy who’d been filming a scene like the one in “Good Time” and the police had shot at him.’

What made you want to get into acting in the first place?

‘I joined this little amateur theatre company in Barnes, I think specifically because I fancied this girl. I’d had no interest in acting until then but one audition broke the seal. It was so scary: I hadn’t sung, danced or acted in front of anyone, and suddenly I was doing all three in this audition for “Guys and Dolls”. I wanted the Frank Sinatra part. I think I got cast as a Cuban dancer [laughs].’

Was that a formative experience?

‘A lot of people there took it extraordinarily seriously and I wasn’t really accepted into that group, so that was massively formative. [Puts on petulant voice] “I’m a fucking outsider!” I went to America before quite a few of my peers for the same reason: I didn’t feel like I fitted in with the English theatre crowd. Also, I got fired from a play and got pissed off with everybody.’

Your career kicked off with two huge franchises, ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Twilight’, but you haven’t gone back down the blockbuster route. If there was a part in, say, ‘Star Wars’, would you take it?

‘Sure, yes. I love those movies and everyone wants those parts. I feel like it’s quite a helpful thing for a career to be consistent. If you go: I’m going to do something really crazy, but then do something really conservative, I don’t think it really works. It’s taken a long time but now people are going, “Oh, you do quite oddball things.”’

Has your relationship with ‘Twilight’ changed  over the years?

‘I mean, kind of. I feel like I’ve always had the  same answer. It was fun and it’s not like I signed up on an eight-picture deal, I knew it was finite.  I had to be 17, there were only four books and there weren’t going to be any more. The only time it felt negative was when people were waiting outside my house a few years ago.’

Do you still get ‘R-Patz’ shouted at you?

‘That’s the one thing: why some people end up with a moniker and some don’t. It’s really unfair that I ended up with a moniker [laughs].’

‘Harry Potter and the Cursed Child’ is on at the moment in London. Have you seen it?

‘I haven’t yet, but I really want to. It is strange for me because that feels like a lifetime ago.’

Your old character plays a big part in it.  Do you feel at all possessive of Cedric Diggory?

‘Not really. Even with “Twilight”, I’d be curious if someone else played it. It was so nice to be a part of it. That, more than anything, changed my life. It’s the reason I didn’t go to university.’

‘Harry Potter’ stopped you from going to uni?

‘It went so far over schedule, I couldn’t go. It was supposed to be four months, but it ended up being ten or 11. I’d turn up to set every day but not work for weeks at a time [because he wasn’t needed for filming]. I was 17 and I was the only person who wasn’t in school. I’d just hang about.’

Does London still feel like home to you?

‘I split my time between here and LA, but London is still my favourite city. I don’t think I could stay in the same place for more than six months, though. I don’t have any nesting instinct.’

Can you walk around town easily?

‘I’m always walking around everywhere – although I walk like a maniac. I cycle everywhere in London, which I really miss when I’m in LA.’

What are your cultural haunts?

‘I’m completely out of touch, it’s terrible. I used to get so panicky in public areas, and I’m only just starting to get over it. I went to Tate Modern for the first time three months ago – the Giacometti exhibition, which was incredible.

Do you find it hard to take holidays?

‘That’s the other weird thing about acting: you’re constantly worried about being unemployed.’

Hollywood knows how to throw a party.  Do you enjoy that side of the job?

‘It’s fun. Performers get nervous about people seeing their true selves, so they either hide away or perform at all times. It’s fascinating to go to a party with people who’ve all decided to be “on”. The Met Ball… oh my God! Everything is dialled up to 15.’

Doesn’t part of you fancy sitting in the corner  and having a quiet pint?

‘You just have to commit to it. That one's tough, though.’

‘Good Time’ has got some Oscar buzz, so there may be a few more big bashes ahead…

‘Even when we were doing this movie, I had no idea what was going to happen with it – it was so tiny. It’s been one of the craziest journeys.’

#TImeOutLondon #Robert Pattinson #Good Time #Twilight #Harry Potter

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eddiespagheti · 7 years ago

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you can hear it in the silence

Rosa tells him, When you know, you know. It’ll come to you and just because it hasn’t yet doesn’t mean it never will.

It all starts after Teddy’s gone. He’s sitting in the break room, eating a donut and Rosa asks, “Aren’t you kind of upset?” He shakes his head, confused by the question. He’s upset the precinct might be shutdown. He’s upset that he attended actual hell on Earth also known as jazz brunch.

But, not really.

So, he shrugs, takes another bite of his donut.

Rosa rolls her eyes, turning the chair around and sitting on it backwards. “Jake, he beat you to it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know, Teddy asked her to marry him before you did”

“Ah..” Jake doesn’t have an answer to that. He truthfully hadn’t thought of that before Rosa mentioned it but now that she has, Jake feels queasy. In the midst of all the uncertainty about the precinct, he hadn’t really thought of the fact that, wow, someone proposed to his girlfriend.

That someone being her ex-boyfriend and he did it in front of him. And Jake just stood there.

Wow, the self-loathing comes quick.

Rosa winces and starts to stand, patting his shoulder in sympathy. Jake grabs onto her arm in desperation, holding her in place. Rosa groans under her breath.

“I guess I hadn’t really thought of it.” he begins. Rosa tries to squirm out but Jake has a firm grip on her arm. “Getting engaged, that is. I mean…our relationship is steady, like super rock-steady.”

“Uh-huh.” Rosa tries to pry his fingers off, to no avail.

“Like, I could probably do like a hundred jumps on it and it wouldn’t cave in. That’s how steady it is.” He looks up to her, something akin to desperation in his eyes.

“Okay, I get it, Jake. I regret bringing it up.” Finally, in a brief moment of thoughtful Jake, she undoes his hand. She dances away before he can grab her again. Jake stares at the wall, lost in the forest of his thoughts. Rosa sighs again, knowing that she won’t be able to leave him here without a rock of guilt in her stomach.

She sits again, a little farther this time, and sighs before she says, “It’s not a big deal if you’re not ready to ask. Just because someone asked her doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Yeah, I know that.” He rubs his face and below hands pressed to lips he says, “I don’t think I’m ready though.” He drops his hands in guilt. “I mean, I know I love Amy but…I guess I’m…” he winces, ashamed. “not ready to be married.” He groans. “What if I’m never ready?”

He drops his eyes to the table and Rosa groans, hating the goddamn caring feel in her chest.

“Jake, I am going to tell you a very personal detail of my past and I will seriously kill you if you tell anybody this.” she says through gritted teeth. Jake widens his eyes, looks more serious than he’s ever looked in all of his life.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

Rosa sighs, looks up at the light bulb and wonders why she’s even sharing this with him. She decides because the scared look on his face was kind of pathetic and because, fine, she cares about him. Ugh, she hates having feelings. “I was engaged once.”

His eyes widen automatically, mouth forming a million and one questions. Rosa shuts him up with a look. Jake nods and keeps mum, but the questions remain behind his eyes. “She was my high school girlfriend. We got engaged right after high school. It was young love.”

“Wait, right after high-” Rosa’s death glare slaps the rest of the question off his mouth. He nods for her to continue.

“I broke it off because I knew that I wasn’t ready.” she shrugs. “Just as I know I’m not ready now.”

Jake nods, his eyes solemn and thoughtful. Rosa stands again, pats his shoulder a little too hard. He winces but tries to play it off. “When you know, you know. It’ll come to you and just because it hasn’t yet doesn’t mean it never will.”

She leaves him to sit in the information. He rubs his shoulder now that she’s gone. Jake’s eyes travel through the window, sitting on Amy as she talks with Terry. Her back is pin straight and he can tell that she’s correcting Terry on something by the sigh he emits.

Jake smiles.

He’s not ready yet but he’s more than sure he’ll be ready soon.

There are fleeting moments in which he this he’s ready. The arrival and meeting of her father, her sergeant’s exam, the time she watched Die Hard 4 without falling asleep. However, deep in the pit of his stomach, he knows that this isn’t it. He repeats the words that Rosa told him.

When you know, you know.

(But when he knows, he’s taken away from her.)

April 28, a day so insignificant any other year. But, this year, it’s when the fire inside his stomach glows, when it lets him know that he’s ready.

It’s after a long day at work, he cooks while Amy calls her family for their weekly phone-call. Jake pretends he doesn’t smell the cigarette smoke wafting towards the kitchen. They eat in almost silence and he plays Candy Crush while Amy showers.

It’s a simple night, a regular night. The stars don’t dance, the moon doesn’t shine on them like a limelight.

He’s playing on his phone, Amy’s doing her nightly crossword. He’s thinking of the case he’s working on and the fact that there’s no way in hell he’s going to pass level 25 without a cheat code.

But then, she says, “There’s a typo in this crossword puzzle!”

And he knows.

It’s such a mundane moment but yet, so monumental. It’s just them.

Now that he knows, he kind of wants to tell everybody, wants to shout it from the mountain top. But he doesn’t want to tell Boyle. He’s afraid his best friend’s heart is going to burst and Jake isn’t sure how he feels about that. Instead, he stews in it. Let’s it settle in and tries to think of the perfect proposal.

Ideally, the sun would shine like a spotlight, the birds would cease their singing as he got down on one knee and asked her. She’d say yes with tears in her eyes. There’d also be a horse drawn carriage that would take them to an empty movie theatre where they would watch Die Hard on a loop and make out.

But, funnily, life doesn’t work out that way.

Rosa finds out right away and doesn’t fully acknowledge it. She knocks into his shoulder as she walks into work, nods, says, “Finally.”

And he can’t stop smiling for days because, it’s really going to happen, he’s going to do it.

But then, Lieutenant Hawkins happens. Then, he’s in court and his future lies in the judge’s hands.

And then, he’s sent away. Fifteen years for a bank robbery he didn’t do. He sees his life with Amy slowly crawl down the drain.

“Sorry, dude.” Rosa whispers under her breath as they handcuff them and lead them away.

Jake already knows for what.

Prison is not as bad as he thought it was going to be. Okay, his cellmate Caleb is a weird dude and okay, he misses Amy like freaking hell but prison’s nice. He’s even grown a prison beard. Kind of patchy, but, whatever, Amy likes it. Every time he sees her, he thinks of the fact that he’s ready to live the rest of his life with her but he can’t. Probably never will if the squad doesn’t get off their butts and help him get out.

But, he knows they’re working hard. The dark circles under Amy’s eyes tell him that she’s spend long nights worrying about him and he just wants to wipe them away.

At night, when it’s just him and his thoughts (and Caleb), he dreams of days spent with her. He craves normal Saturday afternoons. How she would try to cook dinner every single time and how she would fail every single time.

The little disappointed look on her face at yet another uncooked chicken, at yet another batch of burned pasta.

He craves that little look on her face when they bet on something stupid. Like that one time where they bet one another that they could eat a whole basket of wings in under ten minutes.

Bad idea.

He reminisces of all the times he saw that dangerous glint in her eyes. Before they were together, even after, and most importantly, Halloween.

It comes to him. Halloween, the most festive day of the year.

He tries to jump out of bed but forgets he’s on the bottom bunk and hits his head. He ignores the throbbing as he sits on the ratty desk and grabs a piece of paper.

He begins to plan the heist. He knows that he’s probably going to rot in this cell but there’s no harm in imagining it. It’s the only thing that’s going to keep him company as he rots away in this dingy prison cell.

Amy and the squad get him out, just like he knew they would. (Okay, he did lose faith for a bit. Prison changes a person, even if you only go for a little over two months.)

His plan is back on as soon as he leaves prison, the little sketches he wrote hidden in his shoe. As soon as they hug one another for the first time, his heart almost bursts. God, is he ready.

He hides the pieces of his plan in one of his Die Hard DVDs, there’s so many that Amy wouldn’t know where to look. And also, she hates Die Hard so she would never open them. He seriously can’t believe he’s going to propose to a Die Hard hater.

He calls Amy’s dad Sunday morning, knowing he’s at Church and wanting to avoid him. He leaves a lengthy voicemail, talking about how much he loves Amy, how he’s going to propose, and okay, maybe even mentions her butt once.

Okay, twice. Fine, three times.

He calls him mom next and she answers first ring. He tells her everything, glad to get it off his chest. He mentions calling Gina and asking her to find a ring.

“No son of mine is going to buy a ring.” she urges and tells him to come as soon as he can.

As soon as he walks in she hands him a velvet box. At his look, she says, “It’s not the ring your father gave me. Think I would give bad voodoo to my son? It’s nana’s ring. Now come in and tell me everything. I bet you haven’t eaten blue cake since you got out of prison.”

there are many days where he just wants to grab the ring and ask her. like when she goes to the grocery store and she grabs that cereal she knows that he likes or the time they were struggling to find parking and she pointed at one. or when he wakes up and she’s already showered and ready, reading the morning crossword during breakfast. he wants to grab her hand and say, there’s nothing more I want in life than to spend the rest of my life with you.

literally, any time he looks at her but no, he has to wait for the heist. he wants it to be special.

That night before the heist, he gets home pretty late after a dinner out with Boyle, where they fixed the last details in their Halloween plan. He still hadn’t told Boyle about the proposal or his nana’s old ring. He knew that Boyle would never be able to keep the excitement at bay.

When he gets home, Amy is in the kitchen, going over a case. Her hair is tied up in a crazy bun, little pieces looking like feathers dusting her face. She pushes them back as she reads. Jake wants nothing more than to stand there and stare at her for hours, drinking every one of her movements in. Just one more day, he reminds himself. She gazes up at him and her eyes brighten dangerously at his gaze.

“Excited for the heist tomorrow?” she asks, her voice carrying the competitive edge he loves. “I’m going to obliterate you.”

“Oh, I think you’ll be surprised by what I have up my sleeve.”

“It’d have to be something really big because you really can’t surprise me anymore.” She shrugs a pointy little shrug, her eyes full of mirth and Jake grins.

You literally have no idea.

She kisses him goodnight later that night and knocks out quickly, her body prepping for the big day that lies ahead.

Jake tiptoes to the kitchen and reaches towards the back of the cupboard. He passes his old nudie mags and his signed Taylor Swift CD, past those old prized possessions, and grabs the little velvet box. He looks over his shoulder and cracks it open, the little hinge making the quietest sound and his whole face softens as he gazes at the ring.

Underneath the moonlight, the diamond looks almost purple and he smiles softly.

Remembering what Rosa said, about Teddy beating him to the proposal, he laughs. Yeah, Teddy was the first one to ask her but he is going to be the first one to get a ‘yes’.

#b99 #brooklyn nine-nine #Brooklyn nine nine #jake peralta #amy santiago #brooklyn nine nine fic #b99 fic

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nedsecondline · 8 years ago

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Political poetry as a crime: Inside the surreal trial of Dareen Tatour

Arresting a Palestinian for publishing a political poem is extraordinary. Having to prove at trial that police mistranslated her poem is nothing short of surreal.

By Yoav Haifawi

Dareen Tatour at the Nazareth Magistrates Court. (Oren Ziv/Activestills.org)

It has been nearly a year and a half since Palestinian poet Dareen Tatour was arrested in her home in northern Israel for writing a poem. She spent three months in various prisons, including half a year under house arrest in the town of Kiryat Ono in central Israel. Although she was able to return to her home village of Reineh, she remains under house arrest as the trial comes to an end.

[tmwinpost]

Tatour, 34, was arrested by Israeli police on October 10th, 2015 for a poem she had published on Facebook, along with a number of other Facebook statuses she posted at the height of last wave of violence between Palestinians and Israelis between 2015-2016. She was charged with incitement to violence and identifying with a terrorist organization — all because of her poem.

The main clause of her indictment was based on a poem that she had allegedly posted on YouTube under the title: “Qawem ya sha’abi, qawemhum” (Resist my people, resist them). Another main clause in the indictment relates to a news item, cited in a post on Tatour’s Facebook page, according to which “The Islamic Jihad movement calls for continuing the Intifada all over the [West] Bank…” The same post calls for a “comprehensive intifada.”

The prosecution wrapped up its arguments in September of last year, most of which were designed to prove that Tatour’s Facebook account indeed belonged to her, and that it was she who published the poem and the two Facebook statuses.

In November, Tatour testified and admitted that she had written the statuses. She explained that she was protesting the occupation, denouncing the crimes committed against Palestinians by the Israeli army and the settlers, adding that the police translation distorted her texts. Over three long days of cross-examination, Tatour was grilled by Prosecuting Attorney Alina Hardak, who attempted to push Tatour to admit her “support for terrorism” — to no avail.

Should poets be arrested?

On Sunday, March 19th, Tatour’s attorneys, Gaby Lasky and Nery Ramati, brought two expert witnesses to testify before Judge Adi Bambiliya-Einstein in the Nazareth Magistrates Court.

The first witness was Prof. Nissim Calderon, an expert on Hebrew literature. In his written expert opinion, Calderon stated that there are special rules concerning the expression of poets, describing a long tradition of poets who used harsh words to oppose oppression or injustice — sometimes going so far as to clearly call for violent actions. The poets, Calderon said, were not prosecuted, even by oppressive regimes like the Tsar in Russia or the British Mandate in Palestine.

Dareen Tatour (left) and Professor Calderon (center) speak at the Nazareth Magistrates Court, March 19, 2017. (Yoav Haifawi)

To prove his point, Calderon chose three of the most prominent Hebrew poets, bringing specific examples from their subversive texts. He cited Hayim Nachman Bialik, one of the pioneers of modern Hebrew poetry, who once wrote the lines: “With furious cruelty / We will drink your blood mercilessly.” Calderon also cited poet Shaul Tchernichovsky, who wrote: “Give me my sword, I won’t return it to its scabbard / What did my lips elicit? I want battles.” Despite these clear calls for violence by leading Jewish poets, the Tsar’s anti-Semitic secret police refrained from arresting or prosecuting them.

The third example Calderon cited at length was right-wing Zionist poet, Uri Tsvi Greenberg. Greenberg openly incited to violence and was a member of “Brit HaBirionim” (The Thugs Alliance), a Zionist organization that violently resisted the British occupation. He was never punished for his poems.

When the prosecutor implied that Greenberg was not arrested for his poetry because the British Mandate did not prosecute inciters, Calderon responded that his uncle was exiled from Palestine for supporting illegal Jewish immigration. When the prosecutor suggested that poets should not necessarily be immune to legal action during times of tension, Calderon said that the British did not prosecute Greenberg even when he called for resistance to their rule.

What did the poet mean?

Both the prosecutor and the judge understood that they have a problem with the police translation of Tatour’s poem. The officer who translated it had no specific expertise in translation. When he was previously asked during his testimony why he was chosen to translate the poem, the officer responded that he studied Arabic literature in high school and has a love for the language.

During Tatour’s testimony, the prosecutor wanted her to provide her own Hebrew translation of the poem. She refused, adding that she does not know Hebrew well enough to translate poetry. The prosecutor then wanted her to read the poem in Arabic so that the court’s translator will translate it, and thus the words would be attributed to her included in the protocol. She refused.

Yoni Mendel at Dareen Tatour’s trial, Nazareth Magistrates Court, March 19, 2017. (Yoav Haifawi)

Perhaps the prosecution felt some relief when the defense brought its own Hebrew translation of the poem, done by Dr. Yoni Mendel, an experienced literary translator and Arabic expert. His translation was significantly different from the one that appeared in the indictment. Mendel, too, provided expert testimony, claiming that the police’s translation had deliberately and systematically distorted the text to make it appear extremist and violent.

The most blatant contradiction between the two translations was in the following lines: “Do not fear the tongues of the Merkava tank \ The truth in your heart is stronger \ As long as you are rebel in a land \ That has lived through raids but wasn’t exhausted.” The last two verses were translated by the policeman to “As long as you resist in a land \ Long live the Gazawat and will not tire.”

The police officer omitted the word “Gazawat” in Arabic, likely because he could not find the proper translation into Hebrew. In his testimony, Mendel explained that the word was used by Arab tribes at the time of the Jahiliyya (what Muslims call the period before the founding of Islam) to describe attacks on tribes for the purpose of robbery or enslaving women. Tatour’s text clearly uses these lines to refer to the raids that Palestinians are subject to; the police translation, somehow, managed to transform the victim into the aggressor.

Who are the martyrs?

On a more profound level, much of the emphasis on the translation — and a great deal of the cross-examination — focused on the sentence: “Follow the convoy of martyrs.” The Arabic word for martyrs, “shuhadaa,” was not translated into Hebrew by the police translator, but rather was grammatically adjusted into Hebrew and became “shahidim” — an Israeli transliteration that, for most Israelis, conjures an image of Palestinians who were killed while carrying out attacks on Israelis. Mendel showed how basic Arabic terms keep their original form in such a way that neutralizes their original meaning and the basic human empathy that underlies them. Divorced from their original context, Arabic words like shahid or intifada acquire a new, threatening meaning in Hebrew.

Mendel went on to explain that for the Palestinian Arab public, the word shuhadaa refers to all the victims of the occupation. In the specific context of Tatour’s poem, Mendel supported this interpretation with the fact that Tatour’s poem referred to three specific martyrs: 16-year-old Muhammad Abu Khdeir, who was kidnapped and burned alive by Israeli Jews; Ali Dawabsheh, a Palestinian baby who was burned alive with the rest of his family in their West Bank home; and Hadeel Al-Hashlamon, who was shot and killed by the army at a checkpoint in Hebron.

The prosecutor tried to prove that Tartour was not referring to murdered Palestinians, since no one wants to be murdered. Mendel explained that the call to “follow the martyrs” does not mean a desire to die, but rather refers to a more general concept of adhering to Palestinian heritage. This includes embracing bereaved families, never giving up the struggle, and refusing to accept solutions that deny Palestinian national and human rights.

Tatour has became a symbol for Israel’s persecution of Palestinians over political expression, mostly on social media. Many poets, writers, intellectuals, and activists, both in the country and abroad, have expressed their solidarity with her, calling for her immediate release and for the charges against her to be dropped.

The fact that leading intellectuals such as Calderon and Mendel volunteered to provide testimony during a grueling cross-examination (Mendel was grilled for five hours) is a prime example of just how much this particular trial resonated with much of the liberal public. Even defenders of freedom of expression and the arts have begun collecting money to help with Tatour’s legal expenses.

The last witnesses in Tatour’s case will be called to testify on March 28th, which will likely the last hearing before the verdict is read in a few months. Tatour faces up to eight years in prison, and an appeal from one or both sides is likely in such a high profile case. In the meantime, Tatour remains under house arrest and may stay in detention for a full two years before the court comes to a decision over the meaning of her poem.

Yoav Haifawi is covering Dareen Tatour’s trial in his blog, Free Haifa.

#anti-war

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lil-minkurs · 7 years ago

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Kafka CHARACTER SHEET

Basic Statistics

Name: Kafka Nikolas Ivanovich Nickname: Kaffy (by Vera), Nikolas (by Clive), Shorty, Stump (Both by Luljeta), Termite infested moron, Bug for brains (Both by Vadim) Meaning of name: It is Czechoslovakian for Bird. Origin of name: Vera had given him the name, it was at the time when she was obsessed with bird watching and rather liked how it sounded. Kafka often complains about it, as he loathes being named after creatures who do nothing but fly around, scream, eat and shit.

Age: Unknown (Though the organs that Clive had stolen for Vera are those of little boys, ages from 10 to 12, to older adult men. With the way his speech patterns are and how he speaks, you would think he is a 40-year-old man.)

Sex: Male

Nationality: Czechoslovakian (Though technically he has NO nationality, the organs that are inside of him are.)

Species: Ghost. Most specifically A trapped/hungry ghost.

Political Party: Anarchism (More specifically, Anarchist Communism. Anarchist communism is a form of anarchism that advocates the abolition of the State and capitalism in favour of a horizontal network of voluntary associations through which everyone will be free to satisfy his or her needs.)

Birth date: 1894 Birth place: Russia (Though his parts are Czechoslovakian)

Current residence: Vladimirovich Castle Describe their dwelling/house: At the moment, unfortunately, I do not have proper blue prints for the Castle, as I want to fully draw it before I describe it as that kind of detail would take several days maybe even a week or two for full detail as I want to make it as authentic as possible.

Occupation: Henchman (Though he would prefer to be called the boss.)

Hobbies/Pastimes: Playing board-games with Vera (But he is a sore loser), Bowling, Casino gambling, Collecting swords, Collecting Antiques, Collecting Music Albums, Darts, Gun collecting, Hunting, Illusion, Lawn darts, Owning an antique car, Roleplaying (More or less for sexual fantasies). Talents: He can perform magic tricks, Being thorough, Checking for accuracy, Collecting Items, Collaborating ideas.

Powers: Semi-Immortality, Ectoplasm Manipulation, Fear Inducement, Flight, Intangibility, Possession, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Self-Sustenance, Corpse possession.

Family: (Putting them with the title of 'family' is a bit exaggerated. As Kafka just see's them the same way that Vera does, Business partners.)

Vera-His creator. Though he does not see her as a 'Mother' despite her creating him, he see's her more or less as a Mistress. He fears and respects her, not enough to NOT spat with her once and a while, but enough to back down with a simple death glare from the girl.

Clive-He see's Clive as a Mentor of sorts, though he treats him as a servant like Vera does, Clive does not take his bullshit from him at all, as Kafka is not his Master. Despite seeing Clive as a Mentor, Kafka still disobeys and argue's with him.

Past History

Hometown: Karlovy Vary.

First Memory: Kafka's very first memory was when he was alive when he had his virginity taken away by the Prostitute. Though it is not one of his fondest memories, it is the one that continues to replay inside his head quite often.

Other memories/events that still affects him/her and why/how: Kafka remembers quite a bit from his time when he was still living. He remembers going on bank robberies, he remembers drinking beer with his buddies until he had gotten shit faced. He remembers picking up girls and beating them if they disobeyed anything he asked of them. He remembers escaping prison with his inmates and killing anyone who tried to stand in his way. He remembers pulling off fantastic schemes in order to get what he wanted or just for his own personal gain, regardless if it hurt or did harm to anyone else. Setting fire to an orphanage because he disliked the annoying laughter of some of the children who were able to play for a bit outside.

Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: When Clive and Kafka had to run an errand for Vera, as they had to travel to Paris, France, to steal one of the skulls from the catacombs, as Vera love's to collect odd and creepy valuables. Kafka was the one to remember what to grab it but had forgotten halfway through when trying to pick up French school girls. Leaving Clive to muddle his way through the catacombs, while dragging a desperate as well as horny, Kafka under his arm. Waiting to see if anything would come back to him.

When Kafka was left watching the castle while Vera and Clive were roaming the forest during one of Vera's various walks around the area. Vera usually is always accompanied by Clive in any situation she takes place in or is apart of, or in simple things such as walks or discussing business with her allies/enemies. But, unfortunately, Kafka, having a weakness for pretty faces, and even weaker limbs for pretty, with a sexy voice & vivacious hips, had let in Vera's former enemies, Vadim and Luljeta. Well, mostly Luljeta, as she was sent to distract Kafka while Vadim had let himself in after when Kafka had shut the door, while the surly man was behind it. Vera and Clive had come back to see Kafka being held upside down, by his ankles by Vadim, while Luljeta was trailing her fingertips along the beautifully painted walls. It was then that Vera had made a business deal with them.

There are a ton more that Kafka has screwed up on, it is in an entire list that Vera has written, and pulls out whenever Kafka contradicts himself.

Favorite parent(Let's say 'Business Partner' For this): I would have to say, Luljeta Why? : He has a thing for strong Women. (More described in the Relationship part)

Biggest role model: Himself Why?: Kafka would rather look up to someone who he knows won't be a complete disappointment. One who can count on and expect good expectations from. (Hypocritical, seeing as half the time his temper get's in the way of his work, as he makes brash decisions upon it.)

Backstory:(I will not go into full detail, but I will write the basics. As most of his past has been explained in the bio.) Kafka was born in the Czech Republic, in Karlovy Vary, in 1799. Born into a poor family, with his Mother being the town wino as well as the town "bicycle", as well as his Father being a severe drug addict (Heavy with Cocain as well as Paregoric, an excellent pain reliever.) While nothing is known about his family background (As most of the towns humiliations began with the Ivanovitch's and ultimately their end was a blessing.) Kafka grew up without an education but was filled with many street smarts as he was taught about dealing not only other drugs but also how to exchange weapons for money. As he grew up in a household that often kicked him to the curb, Kafka spent most of his time out on the streets with people he barely knew. And stealing his own meals was something he had come accustomed too. When his birthday had begun, he was officially kicked out of his house and swore that he would slaughter his parents. But time and the environment that they were stuck in, had done that for him as his household was a hovel. A complete desolate wasteland of bugs, vermin, and anything that could move its way into the house. His parents had died of many diseases. Such as Malaria, cocain overdose and Chlamydia. After his escapades during his birthday (When he had murderously killed a prostitute) his life had changed. Kafka had taken on a whole new persona and a whole new view of life and how to treat it. When he died after being bludgeoned to death by one of his "buddies" Kafka's soul was transferred into Vera's dummy, where he serves as a Hungry Ghost.

Physical Characteristics

Height: 3,3 Weight: 10 pounds Posture: Slouched when pretending to be immobile, but other wise pretty straight, except when pouty, or angry. Build: (I understand that you mean the actual build like of a person. But let's do the actual build and material for a Dummy.) Since Kafka's organs consist of actual human remains, most of the insides of him as well as his head consists of real organs (What is keeping them together is the spirit that dwells inside of Kaffy.) Sculpt a ventriloquist dummy head out of clay. Create moulds that capture every essence of your sculpture. Cast the ventriloquist dummy’s head and check the quality. Cut out and build a moving mouth. Explain exactly how the mouth pivot point is determined. Take a perfectly preserved brain and slowly cut open the top of the head. Placing the brain in, attach the many of the Brainstems. The Brainstem is the posterior of the brain, adjoining and structurally continuous with the spinal cord. Build self-centring, moving eyes for your ventriloquist figure. Build a wooden ventriloquist figure body. One the body is built, take the perfectly preserved organs and begin to place them in one by one and attach them to the walls of the body, making sure to surgically connect each, so that they work as if in a living human body. Sew and attach arms and legs. Paint the ventriloquist figure to bring it to life. Use a Dark spell to bring Dummy to life, make sure to choose the right spirit to enter your new friend. Skin: Chipped, burlywood coloured skin tone. Hair: Rust red hair Ears: Carved to be small and rounded. Eyes: Sunken slate coloured eye's, with dark taupe underneath of them. Nose: He has a long hawk shaped nose, with a dramatic curve and prominent bridge. Mouth: Thin and pale Describe their smile: He has an Asymmetrical smile, a rather arrogant one as he makes it quite often. (Not only because of how his mouth was carved but because his amusement is at time's fake.) But mostly his expression is that of a wide toothy grin. Hands: Small, short-fingered Feet: Small, about size three Left/Right handed: Left Handed. Distinguishing features: The screws that hold together all the parts of his hand and on his body, and how real his hair actually looks.

How does s/he dress: Kafka mainly dresses in men's clothing from the 1940's, most specifically Gangster type of clothing that suites his style. Fishtail trousers and River Waistcoat, Pinstripe, Straw fedora hats, Homburg hats, Gabardine Jacket, Stacy Adams Dayton-Wingtip shoes, Mens black wide leg trousers, Zoot suit, Keds sneakers 1940's, Vintage WWII American red cross HBT bag, Shearling lined Sherpa work vest 1940's, Double breasted Suit-Pinstripe, 1940's Riding pants Salt and Pepper breeches jodhpurs. Other accessories: Bow tie, Mens vintage 1940's narrow necktie, vintage 1940's belt buckle

Weapons: A Beeman/Krico 340SMA "Super Silhouette", KG 9/99 (His favourite), .54 cal pistol, Weatherby Mark V magnum. Are they generally balanced or clumsy? : Kafka is slightly clumsy at times. Due to his short stature and the fact that he is still a bit new to the body he has, it sometimes get's a little much for him to keep his composure when he is trying to complete tasks that Vera has set out for him to do. Sometime's tripping over his feet, or underestimating some depth perception on his part. At time's being unable to catch objects thrown or tossed towards him.

Mannerisms/Poses/Movement:

Mannerisms: Jiggling leg up and down when he is bored, tapping foot, Making loud burps, Has a foul mouth, Rolls his eye's whenever he hears something he finds idiotic, Rubbing hands together, Points, Shifts in his seat when nervous, Slapping people on the back (Women the ass), Gestures a lot when speaking, Slouches when pouty or just upset or even angry, Puts feet on table and or desks, Toys with objects in front of him due to his curiosity and boredom, Picks at teeth, Gives off a nervous cough.

Poses: Will sit down with legs crossed or spread out. Will stand up straight or at time's slouched depending on mood, either with hands to his sides or in his pockets.

Describe their walk: He will do a type of falter walk whenever he is nervous about a plan, He prowls around whenever he wants to be sneaky, but mostly Kafka walks in strides with confidence.

Habits/OCD/Obsessions:

Habits: Swears like a sailor, Smokes like a chimney, Drinks quite a bit of Alcohol, Speaks with mouth full, Uses old-timey slang from time to time, Picks his teeth in public and often flicks it over to someone, Interrupts other's quite a bit, Watches porn (a TON of it), Lies a lot, Procrastinates, At times forgets the names of people he has met or introduced too (Especially when seeing a woman who catches his eye.)

OCD's: He hoards quite a bit of stuff that he believes will be useful to him in the future Intrusive sexually explicit or violent thoughts and images (But he doesn't mind those)

Obsessions: Egomania, Megalomania, Plutomania, Nymphomania, Theomania.

Speech Patterns: Uses heavy profanity, and often is seen talking as a Gangster, using the same idioms and slang. Voice: He has an Adenoidal type of voice. Which means, if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sounds seems to come through their nose. Describe their laugh: While his voice is an Adenoidal type, his laugh is more Grating, than anything. Which is an unpleasant and annoying laugh. It is quite loud and obnoxious.

Style (Elegant, shabby, etc): More so a vintage type of style from the 1940's to even the 1950's.

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Intelligence Level: About 100 on the IQ Classification. Which is about Average intelligence. Known Languages: Slovakian/Russian/English

Character's long-term goals/desires in life: His long-term goals would be to make a lot of money and have tons of Women under his arm. Kafka is quite arrogant, so his main goals in life would be for himself to gain everything that he desires, which is more women for him to perv over and money to spend whenever he wants. He also craves to be feared and worshipped by all. The character's short-term goals/desires in life: His short-term goals would be for Vera to get off his back about his poor work efforts, and to finally be able to impress her and Clive. Secret desires: To make Luljeta his Woman.

How self-confident is the character?: Kafka is extremely self-confident. To the point where he is accused by Clive of having Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as he has many of the aspects of someone who does. No Empathy, Remorse, always self-entitled to things he is not, quite deceptive, showing a Jekyll and Hyde persona, where he will spin 180 degrees into someone else just so he can achieve what he wants.

How do they see him/herself?: Kafka sees himself as a strong and tall King, essentially. Holding himself up high, and beating everyone down to his level so he can gain control over them. How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Kafka would like to believe that he is perceived as like a god to other's, or at least admired unconditionally. Since, like Vera in some ways, he has a God complex (God Syndrome). Though it is quite the opposite, as many around him find him increasingly annoying and or irritating.

What is the character most proud of?: Kafka is most proud of his accomplishments and of his past events that he remember's quite fondly. What does the character like least about themselves?: That he can get envious of others.

How do they express themselves?: Kafka expresses himself through his movement, but mostly through his wording to others. Being very boisterous as well as brusque, can get him into too much trouble.

Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Although Kafka is a Dom by nature, he doesn't mind being a Sub for a strong Woman. (As mostly seen when Luljeta put's him in his place or when Vera does.) He would rather drop himself into a wood chipper then let another man tell him what to do, or an authority figure.

Patience level: on a level of 1 to 10?: 3. Because of Kafka's low patience, combined with his high temper, he can barely function when it come's to waiting for things that he would rather have now. Which is why he is at time's accompanied by Clive when going to complete tasks for Vera. (Which he loathe's, as he would rather do missions solo, then having someone tailing behind every step of the way like a child.) Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof?: Kafka is at time's mostly ruled by emotion, then he is logic. As his anger, lust, pride and jealousy get the better of him quite often. Although the time's when he is ruled by his logic, it is when Vera or Clive straighten him out and Kafka actually starts to think up brilliant schemes, and is a skilled arsonist.

Most at ease when: He is most at ease when dealing with women, when using weapons, when lying to a person, or even after he drinks beer. (Then he is loose and eased enough for everyone...) Ill at ease when: He is most ill at ease when in a situation that he feels threatened in. Otherwise, Kafka can remain calm in many incidences.

Describe their sense of humour: Kafka's type of humour would be a cross between Slapstick comedy/Sarcasm/Joke's at other's expense/Black humour. Though he relies on Slapstick humour the most, as he loves to play tricks on others for his own amusement. But the same can be said for Kafka when he makes Joke's at other's expenses, rather enjoying when other people (It doesn't matter who) are ridiculed, or teased.

If granted one wish, what would it be?: To be in charge of everything or to have complete control of the Universe. Why?: He believe's that if he was in command of everything that he will have complete control of anything and if he can do such a feat, he will be able to be happy. Plus, he just likes domination over all.

Character/Personality/Mental/Social Strengths:

Personality: Surly, Biased, Brazen, Brusque, Condescending, Haughty, Hedonist, Impetuous, Pretentious, Provocative, Querulous, Rancorous, Spontaneous, Dominant, Superficial, Tenacious, Vindictive, Spiteful.

Mental: Seeking knowledge, Knows who he is, Passions, Purpose, Has a hobby, Has a sense of style, Critical thinking, Resilient to change, Knows what he likes and does not.

Social: Open to thoughts and feelings (A little TOO much.), Makes good eye contact with someone. Character/Personality/Mental/Social Flaws:

Personality: (All of his Strength personalities ate his weaknesses. )

Mental: Poor relationships, Does not care about other's, Jealousy, Ignorance, Controlled by his emotions, Lies, Uncontrolled, Spends recklessly, Poor acceptance skills, Negativity bias, Doesn't like to share, Poor diet and poor fitness, Holds grudges, Builds up anger, Easily irritated, Tries to hurt other's, Easily offended, Abrasive, See's kindness as weakness, Rude.

Social: His social flaws are his Mental flaws.

If they could be described with one of the seven virtues, which would it be?: Diligence.

If they could be described with one of the seven sins, which would it be?: Wrath. As Kafka really does not have control over his anger, it is difficult for him to control it. Although, he love's the feeling of enraged adrenaline coursing through him.

Biggest Vulnerability (non-physical): One of his biggest vulnerabilities is the fact that he can't really control his emotions at all. His brash behaviour makes Kafka uncontrollable.

Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist. (He does not see the light in various situations, and rather would want the world to burn, or ascend into chaos then see things shine through.)

Introvert or extrovert: Extrovert (While he is a Pessimist. He love's to Socialize. Well, more so when he drinks.)

Greatest Fear: Being burned alive. (Make's sense, since Kafka is mostly made of wood. But it stems from being burned nearly fully alive by the first fire that Clive had caused when being summoned by Vera. Kinda the reason why he has a grudge against Clive and why he always refuses to partner with him.) Other Fears/Insecurities/Phobias:

Other Fears: Being thrown off a bridge or cliff and into a lake or river of water. (As Kafka can not swim at all. It is something he would rather not happen to him.) Being used as a scratching post or kindle for fire.

Insecurities: (I don't think someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder has any Insecurities. )

Phobias: Trypophobia, Theophobia (Fear of God or Religion), Gatophobia (Fear of cats. Mainly because he has a fear of being used as a scratching post), Pyrophobia. Emotional/psychological/social peculiarities:

Emotional: Extraversion-excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness and high amounts of emotional expressiveness. Neuroticism-Tendency to experience emotional instability, anxiety, moodiness, irritability, and sadness, as well as having a low tolerance for stress.

Active, Adventurous, Challenging, Competitive, Confident, Dominating, Deceptive, Determined, Experimental, Freewheeling, Iconoclastic, Impressionable, Intense, Noncommittal, Outspoken, Unpredictable, Preoccupied, Proud, Sarcastic, Stubborn, Tough, Abrasive, Abrupt, Aggressive, Amoral, Apathetic, Arrogant, Arbitrary, Argumentative, Blunt, Boisterous, Brutal, Callous, Cantankerous, Childish, Coarse, Cold.

Psychological: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Biggest regret: Not being able to pick up any of those French girls when he was with Clive. Other regrets: Not being able to take over properly or in a situation whenever it is him with Lice or with Vera. Not being able to prove to Vera that he can be an affordable foe or leader. And not being able to get any women to go out with him.

Biggest accomplishment: Kafka's biggest accomplish was being able to convince Vera that he can go on missions with Clive. Being able to use any kind of Weapon or Artillery without skipping a beat. That, even though he doesn't really get anywhere with Women, the fact that he keeps going after one after the other still amazes him and counts to him as a big accomplishment. Having extremely high stamina despite not knowing how to fully use it. Being of use to Vera and Clive in some ways, whether it is dealing with other's, being the distraction, or using his skills in weaponry. Minor accomplishments: To be perfectly honest, any type of accomplishing to Kafka is big.

Musical talents/instruments: None. Musical Talents: If playing the tambourine is one. Then technically yes.

Instruments: Tambourine. Character's darkest/deepest secret: He has none. Kafka is an open book to all his pervy needs and doings. Minor Secrets: None.

Likes/Dislikes

Likes: Sweets, Massages (Just from women.), Women, Violence, Fighting, Drama (He lives for it), Men's clothing, Any kind of liquor, Archery, Weapons, Models, Sports (Mainly underground sports), Wrestling, Sun tanning (He mostly likes to watch women sun bathing.), Singing (As long as it is not Opera), Bowling, Brewing Beer, Car racing, Casino Gambling (Any type of gambling), Cigar smoking, Collecting anything he can get his hands on, Dancing, Darts, Eating out, Movies (Anything that's rated R or 18A. With a lot of violence, explosions and sex.) Dislikes: Being told what to do, being yelled at, being treated like a child, not being heard, being placed in time out, being embarassed or humiliated, fishing, floral arrangements, being slapped, punched or hit in any way, gardening, wearing goofy looking clothing, gnomes, golf, skating, horses, birds, cats, dogs (Any animal that makes him annoyed), puzzles, juggling, people who are loud (Even though he can be) someone who talkes too much, squealing on him.

Favorite

Color: Maroon Clothing: Wool Tweed suit Place: Italy/Romania Room in the house and why: His bedchambers. After complaining that he had no room for himself but Clive did, Vera had given Kafka is own room to have, once he was full possessed by the spirit and gained more ground for himself, being able to walk and talk properly. There was no reason to keep him in her room by her bed anymore. Kafla appreciated the privacy, as he expected to bring more, as he called them "Dame's" to the room. Music genre: Rock, Jazz, Alternate rock, Heavy metal, Drum and bass Songs and Singers/Bands: (While Kafka is mainly 1940's style and his spirit lived during that time, he has adapted to different type's of tastes that he has been introduced to in the 21st century) He does not have a favourite Singer or band, but he has songs that he enjoys. Undead-Hollywood Undead Dead Bite-Hollywood Undead Kill Everyone-Hollywood Undead Medicine-Hollywood Undead Usual Suspects-Hollywood Undead Eat you Alive-Limp Bizkit Obsession-Innerpartysystem Pony-Ginuwine Blood on the Floor-Call me Master Welcome to the Show-Britt Nicole Gospel of Dismay-DAGames Build our Machine-DAGames Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo Enjoy the Show-NateWantsToBattle Left behind-DAGames Movies/Tv Shows/Performances: When it's not any form of Porn from Kafka, there are a few Movies he does indulge in, as well as TV shows. As for Performances, he does not have a favourite. He just believe's that as long as the acting doesn't suck, he can get into it.

Movies: Citizen Kane, Laura, Dead of Night, Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein, Suspiria, Halloween, The Exorcist, Psycho, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Shinning, The Evil Dead, Saw, The Thing, Rosemary's baby, The Fly, The Omen, Carrie, Aliens, Close encounters of the Third kind, Donnie Darko, Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, Dr.Strangelove, Some like it Hot, Young Frankenstein, All Monty Python movies, Caddyshack.

Tv Shows: The Ed Sullivan Show, The Jack Benny program, The Twilight Zone, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, Tales from the Crypt Keeper, Penny Dreadful, The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Night Gallery. Books: Be prepared for some names of Porn mags. But some are of different nature that Kafka likes to read. Mainly Weapons and of Spells (Which are all Vera's own collection. As she believe's that to be prepared for any type of battle against anyone and anything. These are just a list of a small few.) But his favourite is of the dirty nature.

Weapons: The Longbow, Firearms: An Illustrated History, Standard catalogue of military firearms, Winchester Level Action Riffles, The Gladius: The Roman short Sword, The illustrated world of Encyclopedia of Guns, 101 Knife Designs: Practical Knifes for daily use, Hatcher's notebook.

Spells: Book of Shadows, The Element Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells, Petit Albert, Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells, Candlelight Spells, Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft, The everything Wicca and witchcraft book, Grand Grimoire.

Dirty Shit: Adam Film World, Asian Fever, Barley Legal-Hustler, Celebrity Skin, Chic, Club, Gallery, Genisis, Gent, Gourmet, High Society, Hustler, Juggs, Leg Show, Modern Man, Oui, Penthouse Forum, Perfect 10, Playboy, Score, SCREW,Swank, Asian Babes, Club International, Escort, Fiesta, Mayfair, Men Only, Men's World, Knave, Penthouse, Razzle, Lolita, Aktuell Rapport, Cats, Lui, Colour Climax, Private, Beppin, Lemon People, Manga Burikko, Urecco, Video Boy, Debonair, Nuts, Zoo Weekly.

Historical figure: Alphonse Gabriel Capone. Animal: Hyaeninae

Least Favorite:

Clothing: He doesn't really like "Monkey suits" any type of black tie affairs or clothing that makes him look prim and proper. Sandals, he HATES sandals. Place: Hospitals, Schools, Old folks homes. He doesn't like hospitals because he thinks they smell like piss and vinegar. He doesn't like old folks homes because he can't stand old people and thinks they smell like death and shit. He hates schools because he dislikes Children. A lot. Loathes them. Music genre: Classical music, Opera, Pop, Hip-hop, Rap, he is not fond of classic rock, Whiney crap. (He hates all of that stuff.) Simple Pleasures: Sprinklers, Holding hands, Receiving big projects, Watching Squirrels or Birds (He hates both), Any kind of Tea sipping (He hates Tea), Playing any kind of game with children. Where does this character like to hang out?: Wherever Women are, Kafka is bound to be there. Bars, High Schools, College's, even Parks. Or even outside of their own house (He is a Voyeur.) Where is this character's dream place to live?: He hopes to one day have a bigger home then Vera's, with as many women as he can have inside of it. (Basically the Play boy Mansion.)

Motto/Personal quote: "The Devil whispered in my ear "Your not strong enough to withstand the storm" Today I whispered in the Devil's ear "I am the storm."

Mode of transportation: Usually he walks or he takes the Mahogany and Crimson Brougham Carriage with Clive.

Most prized possession: It would be his weapons that he owns. Why?: Kafka enjoys weapon collecting, often finding it hard to try them out at all. Owning something that he can have his hands on and use, is an immense rush to him. He likes being in control.

Relationships with others

Relationship Skills: Loves: Kafka does not have any "loves" but he has a series of Lustful infatuations. He is not skillful in this emotion at all. He doesn't ever "fall" in love. Lusts: He can lust with the best of 'em. Mainly after women who he finds incredibly attractive. Basically, anything in a skirt will get Kafka's attention. Crushes: He has a crush on Luljeta. Girlfriend/Boyfriend(s): None Another lover (s): None Marital status: Single (But at times mentally believe's he is dating Lulu.)

First crush: Luljeta (If I were to describe their relationship it would be the song Eat you Alive by Limp Bizkit.) Did it last?: The feeling has lasted for several decades. Why or why not?: While he does not "love" her, or have any "Infatuation" for her, he believe's that she is the perfect kind of woman for him and wants to possess her.

Best Friends: While Kafka does not have "Friends" he has people in a category which he plainly puts as "Those who I will piss on" and "Those who I won't" The very top of the won't is Vera. So, in some strange way he see's her as a "Best friend". Friends: "Those who I won't" are Vera, Clive, Luljeta. Hates: "Those who I will piss on" is a rather long list, so I won't list all of them. But just a few. Vadim Tyler Luna Nowta Lily Angel Anyone who tries to cock blocks him, and so much more. Rivals: Vadim, Crowley

What kind of person would s/he considers to be the perfect partner?: Kafka considers the perfect partner to be, Foreign, doesn't matter what skin tone they are, with a sexy accent, vivacious, curvacious, who doesn't mind getting themselves of their hands dirty, who has a wicked mind, who is wicked in bed, full lips, bedroom eyes, who is feisty, limber. (It doesn't matter to him much about the mind...he is just that sexist.)

Is the character judgmental of others and how so? : Kafka is not only sexist, but he is extremely judgmental. A snob, if you will. Though he has poor manners and is quite rude and crude. Like he believe's that any man who has an affinity for style is Gay to him. Or any woman who dresses a tad bit too "Manly" is obviously butch to him.

How is s/he perceived by...

Strangers?: When complete strangers see Kafka, their first thought about him would be his size, first of all, why he looks the way he does would be the second thought, and the third thought when he finally does speak is how freaky he actually is. Otherwise, the first two would be the most question worthy of them. Friends?: By Kafka's "Friends" (Not exactly the right word for them as they are more, again, business partners) he is thought of as perverted, arrogant, boisterous, crude, annoying. Family?: He has no family. What happens to change this perception if at all?: His life choices are basically what made him change his perception of everything that is happening to him now. Before his soul had been placed into a Ventriloquist Dummy, Kafka was rather joyous, until that day when he did have to kill that prostitute. The trauma lasted with him for quite some time, and when he found out how alive he felt after it was all done, he realized something dark and brooding beneath. What type of people does s/he like or associate with?: Kafka likes to be with people like him, essentially. He loves Gangster and those who are extremely powerful, mainly because he can reap the rewards or have them for shields if need be. Plus the whole appeal of those type of people around him, really up his game. As he believes. He also loves to be around pretty women. Anyone who has a Royal ranking, or someone who is extremely rich. What type of people doesn't s/he like or associate with?: He loves Children (Though Vera is the only exception.), Teenagers (Though if they are pretty, he makes an exception. He'll chase anything in a skirt.) Old people, anyone who he finds to be a lower rank then he is. Overly cheerful people. Homeless people. How do they treat members of the opposite sex?: Depending on how he is treated, when Kafka takes an interest in a woman, he will try everything in his power to get her to go on a date with him, or even sleep with him. It doesn't matter what. When he is faced with a Woman who is a bitch to him, it also depends on the situation. Because Kafka is a bit of a Masochist, he likes the roughness, but, it depends on how badly he wants what he is chasing after.

What do family/friends like most about character?: His ambition, and how he is able to handle weapons. Other than that, Kafka can get a little too under someone's skin. What do family/friends like least about character?: How annoying he can be, how he basically chases after any woman he finds attractive, completely blowing off his chance to help in the situation. How brash he can be, how his crude behavior can get him into trouble. Forgetfulness. The list goes on and on.

Sex/Romantic Life

What do they consider to be a romantic setting/activity/date?: A romantic setting for Kafka would be on a huge king or queen sized bed, under a huge mirror on the ceiling, shag carpeting for the room, wine, and a please do not disturb sign. In like, the cheapest motel room possible. To be honest, Kafka wouldn't care how or where he gets it from.

How does a normal date go for this character?: A "normal" date for Kafka would be trying to hit on anything in a skirt, hoping they will go out with them, constantly trying to fake either falling or feigning injury to look up a girls skirt, or to get them to hold him close (Preferably to their chest...) or trick them into feeling some pity for him. (Not exactly a "Date" but it might as well be for Kafka)

How did/would they propose, or like to be proposed to?: No. Kafka doesn't see the point in Marriage at all. He finds it pointless as well as humorous. He doesn't understand why anyone would want to tie themselves down to one person when they can have so many others.

Virgin?: Oh no, Kafka is far from being a Virgin. Before he was a spirit possessing a doll, he was a very "Active" perverted, misogynistic pig. Describe his/her sex life: At this point?. Considering he has no reproductive organs, his sex life is not going too well, to not having one at all. (Well, you could argue that he could technically have one. He may be a doll, but, he does have means to. But I won't go into detail, then this bio would turn into R rated.) How often does this character have sex?: He wishes it was far more or at least SOME. How long can he/she go without sex?: He's already wanting to pay a call girl, so, not long. Kafka can like, for 2 minutes without sex until he get's the itch again. How does this character feel emotionally, after sex?: Satisfied, exhausted, but energized as all hell. Does this character have self-control around the opposite sex?: Nope. The sight of a pretty girl (Especially those in skirts) make Kafka extremely aroused and when Kafka get's that way, nothing can stop him from trying to get into their pants. NOTHING. Does sex play an important role in their relationships, if so, how?: If plays a huge part in any relationships he has. If he is not getting anything in the relationship like sex, he will break it off in a heart beat.

Turn-ons: (His Fetishes/Fantasies are his Turn-Ons.) Turn-offs: A woman who talks too much, Horrible hygiene or any type of hair on a girl, Flirting of any kind with other guys or even TALKING to other guys, Crying, Annoying laughter, Clumsiness, being too Intelligent or showing off intellect, sticking up for themselves too MUCH. Fetishes/Fantasies:

Fetishes: Masochism, Sadism, Voyeurism, Telephone Scatalogia, Algolagnia (Depends on who is causing the pain. Kafka is all for women doing it though.), Amaurophilia, Asphyxiophilia, Biastophilia, Breast fetishism, Lipstick fetishism, Panty fetishism, Haematophilia, Hybristophilia, Katoptronophilia, Lust murder, Pictophilia.

Fantasies: Being dominated sexually, Being filmed during sex, Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure, Dominating someone sexually, Ejaculating on sexual partner, Forcing someone to have sex, Giving cunnilingus, Having interracial sex, Having sex in an unusual place, Having sex with a prostitute or Stripper, Having sex with a woman with very large breasts, Having sex with an unknown person, Having sex with more than three people (All women.), Masturbating an unknown person, Masturbating an Acquaintance, Petting with a stranger in public. Sexual perks: He has high stimulation. Sexual flaws: That can also be his flaw because he can go for so long, and won't hesitate to continue going for longer.

Usually on the top or bottom?: He likes to be on top but doesn't mind if a dominant woman takes control of him. Dominant or Submissive?: Dominant. But, he can be the Submissive one to a powerful, strong woman (Preferably a Dominatrix.) Describe their first sexual experience: His first sexual experience when he was living, was a Stripper/Prostitute when he was just a boy, age 12. His "friends" at the time wanted to do something fun on his 12th birthday, so, keeping everything hush and working the streets to find a girl, one who would do the job for cheap, and let him do anything he wanted in a shitty motel. After they found a woman who would, who was twice his age, 27, they had set everything up for him to meet her at the motel. It was a night that Kafka had never forgotten, it was also his first murderous encounter. After Kafka had lost his virginity to the woman, and what seemed to be an amazing first-time experience (At least for him.) He had soon learned that it came with a price (Literally). Wanting the money up front, about 200 (As she was promised in the first place by his "buds") when Kafka could not produce such a large amount of cash. Being enraged by the boy, she grabbed a pistol from inside of her purse and pointed it at him, directly aiming it between Kafka's eyes. Backing up and off of the bed, naked, Kafka protested but couldn't get the woman to put down the weapon. Not being able to calm her down, he took drastic measures into his own hands and, grabbing the nearest object that he could, which was a lamp on the night stand to the left of him, ramming it straight to the side of her head and knocking her to the ground. Not completely unconscious, but having blurry vision, she tried to raise up her head but having difficulty. Seeing his opportunity, Kafka grabbed the gun and shot her point blank, four times. Seeing how mangled he had left her, he became physically sick and ran out of the room, and vomited in front of the other's outside of the room. How did they feel emotionally, afterwards?: Terrified, Shocked, sick to his stomach, but also, thrilled. How has this affected the character, if substantially at all?: It has incredibly changed how Kafka feels about Sex in general now. He feels a certain amount of rush from such thoughts and wants that type of chance again, just so he can go through the adrenaline feeling.

Possible psychological reasons for their sexual fantasies or behavior: Well, one is because of what he had gone through with that woman. As she had made him realize what a rush it was, even after he practically vomited everything out from him. He had never gained such a rush before, and he loved every bit of it.

Emotional Characteristics

Describe character's sense of morals: Kafka does not have any good morals about him. He can be deplorable, dishonest, disloyal, despicable and twisted. Kafka would rather kick someone into on-going traffic then let help an old lady coss the street.

Describe character's etiquette: His manners lack quite horribly. No matter if Vera tries to teach him at all, Kafka will continue to be late, Invade someone's personal space, will always show up empty handed to social events, always gossips, etc.

Describe character's sense of self-control: Kafka does not even know the definition of the word, never mind actually doing it.

How does this character act in public?: Kafka acts calm, cool and collected whenever he is out in public, but it really depends on his mood. If someone makes him angry, it won't matter to him if he is out and around people, he will make a scene. And if he sees a pretty girl, he will run off and try to flirt with her. How does this character act around strangers vs how they act around friends?: Kafka acts the same around strangers as he does with friends, Arrogant, Self Assured, and Insulting. How does this character act at home?: Kafka acts the same anywhere he goes.

How does this character deal with or react to:

Anger: Not...not well, not well at all. Conflict/Danger: It depends on what the danger or Conflict is. If the danger is enough for Kafka to handle he will go in guns blazing, but if it is a conflict that he stands no choice in, he will either head off running, pushing someone in front or become so arrogant about the situation itself and go in any way with a cocky attitude. Rejection: Kafka does not deal with rejection well at all. He will either spit in the woman's face or call them foul names.

Fear: He will either run or go in fists swinging.

Change: Depends on the type of change. Otherwise, Kafka is actually quite chill, just as long as the change benefits him.

Loss: When it comes to Money or any of his things, he goes go batshit insane, but when it comes to loss of a person, not really, though he will feel a slight tinge if anything should happen to Vera and that is only because he will lose the mansion and everything he has now.

Sex/Flirting: With Sex, Kafka is all for it, the same with flirting, especially if the girl starts to flirt with him.

Pain: Looooooooathes it entirely. Now, when he is causing it himself, he loves it.

Stress: Kafka does not handle stress well if it becomes too much for him he starts to become a bit more insane then he already is. Letting the stress consume him.

Peer pressure: Kafka does not do well under pressure. He would like to handle everything his way without anyone breathing down his neck.

Guilt: He has none.

Being wrong: When being wronged, Kafka is a big believer in an eye for an eye.

Being criticized: He throws troll like criticisms right back at the person.

Praise: Oh he devours every last drop of praise that he can get. Like milk for a cat, he will lick those compliments from the floor itself.

Love: Kafka is not a fan of love, but to a pretty little thing in a skirt, he will swear up and down that he is in "love" with her until she sleeps with him.

Being hated: Could care less.

Humiliation: With humiliation, Kafka will try his damndest to get back at the person who caused it and when it is his own fault, he will try and place blame on someone else for his short comings.

What does this character think/feel about:

Sex: He absolutely adores it. Kafka can't really see life without it or even a single day. Love: He doesn't see the point of it, other than to manipulate someone with it. The opposite sex Loves them. He wants as many women to himself as possible. Politics: He doesn't really understand them, nor does he like them, despite Vera being so active in them herself and being part of her business plans. Religion Finds religion tedious, but likes his own belief's more then other's. Science/Technology: He loves when it is useful, but when he doesn't understand a lick of what he has to do with it, he has a tendency to smash things. With Science alone, he knuckles under and falls asleep at the thought of learning it. Drugs and alcohol Love any kind that he can get his hands on. Killing/Murder: He finds it a rush.

How does the character view life?: He believe's that life owe's him everything for what he has suffered for. As long as he get's what he wants, the ends justify the means. How does the character view death?: He does not like the concept of death, nor does he welcome it. At times it does seem like a huge adrenaline rush for him. How does the character view society?: He views society as something he can bend and shape to his will. How does the character imagine his/her own death?: He would LIKE for it to be under a pile of naked women from so much sex, but, he knows that at some point it will be in a blaze of burning embers.

What does the character want out of life?: What Kafka wants out of life at the moment, is for everyone to recognize his greatness, to knuckle under him and to become the all-powerful being that he believes himself to be. What does this character consider "success" to be?: Power over everyone, commanding everyone to do your bidding, lot's of women as well as money. What would the character like to change in his/her life?: At the moment, his position. He would like to rank higher above Clive.

What motivates this character?: Promises of huge things to come for him, anything that Kafka likes is what motivates him to do what he does best. Why?: If it is something Kafka likes, high chances are that he will start to work far harder for what he wants.

What discourages this character?: When he get's turned down by a woman, When he loses a poker game or when Clive or Vera scold him. Why?: Kafka may be an egotist, but he loathes when someone turns him down or makes him feel like a piece fo trash.

What makes this character angry?: -People who talk over him. -People who constantly keep talking -People who interrupt him -People who are in his personal space (Hypocritical since he does the same to other's. But, only women he flirts with or sexually harasses.) -People who sneeze in his direction -Anyone who chews with their mouth open -Someone who drives too slow -Morons -Children who whine and scream -Obliviousness -Anyone who steals his cigars or Booze. -Touching his things -Being lied too (Another hypocritical one. Because he does more lying than anyone.) -When Vera doesn't let him in on Political matters. -When Luljeta won't go out or bang him -Being slapped across the face or punched

What most describes this character's personality?: Depraved, Immoral, Degenerate.

Psycho analysis (Describe why they act the way they do): The reason that Kafka is the way that he is, is basically because of who his soul belongs too. His soul belonged to a rather deplorable human being, one who was rather loathed himself, a man who spent his life hounding over women and selfishly manipulating people.

Spiritual Characteristics

Religion: LaVeyan Satanism

Does the character believe in a god or goddess?: Kafka does not believe in God at all, but he does believe that Goddess's do exist (Mainly because he met Luna, who is a Moon Goddess and Velouria, who is a Fertility Goddess)

What are the character's spiritual beliefs?: Kafka believe's that God is a myth. His belief includes following your own desires, individualism, hedonism, materialism, ego, personal initiative, self-worth, and self-determinism.

Is religion or spirituality an important part of this character's life?: Not really. Though he does express it when it comes into play or mentioned.

If this character were an animal, what would they be?: A Hyena. In this case, a striped Hyena. As Kafka is more of a Scavenger. He likes to drive away larger and more powerful villains away from certain jobs, weapons, or even their henchwomen, away, so he can run in and take what he can get for himself.

IF this character were the opposite sex what would they: Do?: Look at himself naked Say?: How good he looks naked Feel?: His breasts.

If this character were to be characterized by an object, what would it be?: A Sledgehammer. Why you may ask?. Kafka is very much like this object, because when he strikes, it's swift, brutal, and guarantee if he gets you by the head, you WILL, be dead.

What song best fits this character?: Medicine-Hollywood Undead / The usual suspects-Hollywood Undead.

If you could compare this character to an existing character, who would s/he be and why?: One of them would be Impmon. I choose this character, because, I have always liked Impmon, his personality was a bit firey, stubborn, Scheming, also a bit flirty as well (Well, when it came to Renamon, in the English dubbed version from 4Kids.) Then he did get a little more angsty near the series ending. But also, a lot more understanding (His character will do a 180 in the series.) With Impmon though, I would choose how he was near the start of Digimon Tamers, where he was more of an egotist then anything. always sure of himself, playing pranks at other's expense and making things difficult for everyone.

Another would be Prison Pee Dee (Pee Dee) from Superjail (Actually more or less Gary from SJ.) As Pee Dee was just the puppet that Warden had for the talent show. But, I digress. He is a combination of this character as well, because Pee Dee was behind everything through out the episode, "Uh oh, it's magic!" When Warden becomes jealous of Jared over his impressive magic act and becomes popular with the inmates, Warden decides to try and find an easier way to learn how to throw his voice, so he can become more popular then Jared's act. As Warden goes off into the library to search for a book on ventriloquism, it is Gary, who points out where to find the book. But the book Warden finds is of the Satanic kind. To cut things short, it was Gary and Bird who had cooked up a plan to escape the prison with the inmates with them, after building a huge Pee Dee robot for them to escape in. It did not work, as Jared and Warden work together to thrawt the plan and end up cutting out Gary's vocal cords (His old Warden had cut out his tongue after Gary had caused several horrible things to happen, upon him being such a smooth talker.) The reason Pee Dee (Or Gary) is one of the influences, is because of how he acts, he is essentially a con artist, making people do what he wants because of his charisma. (Like Charlie with his Family.) Making you choose his way or the highway.

If you could choose an actor for this character, who would it be?: For someone like Kafka, I don't know at all. I always have a certain type to play my Characters. I suppose in some way, Brad Dourif would fit that profile.

If you could choose a voice actor for this character, who would it be?: Oh, gosh, that is difficult. It would have to be Derek Stephen Prince (The voice of Impmon in the English dub of Digimon Tamers). I can see Kafka having a type of Impmon voice, which is why I chose him, and it seems to fit Kafka's looks in the first place when it comes to his voice.

Who/what was your character inspired by?: He was inspired by the movie Dead Silence and Pee Dee from Superjail. My main inspiration was the movie Dead Silence, but upon kinda, resurfacing this character again and working on him, I am leaning more into Pee Dee now. Though the aspects in the movie serve as a high inspiration for me when it comes's to this character and how they were created.

#character development #character sheet #long as fuck #you have been warned #if you even read it #probably too long for you #character bio

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newstfionline · 8 years ago

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He robbed banks and went to prison. His time there put him on track for a new job: Georgetown law professor.

By Susan Svrluga, Washington Post, April 21, 2017

During a break in a basketball game to raise money for charity, Shon Hopwood told some of his Georgetown law students it felt different than the last time he was on a court: When he played basketball in federal prison, he had to carry a shank in case his team started to lose.

Hopwood’s new job as a tenure-track faculty member at the Georgetown University Law Center is only the latest improbable twist in a remarkable life: In the last 20 years, he has robbed banks in small towns in Nebraska, spent 11 years in federal prison, written a legal petition for a fellow inmate so incisive that the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to hear the case, done that again, earned undergraduate and law degrees and extremely competitive clerkships, written a book, married his hometown crush and started a family.

But this could be his most compelling role yet. His time in prison gave him an unusual perspective on the law that allows him to see things other lawyers overlook, and a searing understanding of the impact of sentencing and the dramatic growth in incarceration in the United States.

“It’s one of the big social-justice issues of our time,” he said. The United States has 5 percent of the world’s population but 25 percent of its prisoners. “Between prison, jail, home confinement, probation, parole, combined it’s about 10 million people. It’s a big number.” And almost three-quarters of released prisoners are back in custody five years later. He hopes to change some of that.

“The story’s still writing itself,” he said in his office recently, marveling while students hurried to class outside. “I feel like I’m living someone else’s life quite often these days.”

Shon Hopwood’s life didn’t start out as remarkable. It began with a happy childhood in a town of 2,500 people in Nebraska. His dad managed a cattle feed yard, and his parents helped found a church. He was friendly and well-liked, uninterested in school, and best known for his skill on the basketball court.

An athletic scholarship to college ended when he got kicked out for not going to class. After two years in the U.S. Navy, he drifted back to Nebraska, depressed, drinking, doing some drugs, living in his parents’ basement and working 12-hour shifts on a cattle farm, shoveling manure.

One night his best friend turned to him in a bar and suggested that they rob a bank.

In August 1997, Hopwood walked into a bank, sweating, heart racing, dropped a metal toolbox to the floor with a bang and pulled a rifle from his coveralls. With the terrified customers and tellers locked into a vault, he sped away with $50,000 of other people’s money and his friend, who knew every bit as well as he did that what they had done was horribly wrong.

His friend suggested sending the money back, with a note. Instead, Hopwood went on to rob four more banks.

At his sentencing, 30 family members stood behind him, most of them crying. He was 23 years old. Judge Richard Kopf thought he was a punk. He had not forgotten Nebraska’s history of violent bank robberies. When Hopwood told him he was going to turn his life around, Kopf said something disdainful like: I guess we’ll see in about 13 years.

His first morning in federal prison, Hopwood got up early to work out and watched as two inmates yanked another one from a pullup bar, knocked him to the ground and stomped on the man with steel-toe boots leaving bits of teeth in pools of blood.

Working in the prison law library sounded like a good idea.

At first, he just checked books out. But in the summer of 2000, a Supreme Court decision caught inmates’ attention: Essentially, Hopwood explained, “things that can increase your sentence need to be proven to a jury, or you need to plead guilty to them.” He had been sentenced based on guidelines for armed robbery, even though he had pleaded guilty to unarmed robbery. A technicality, maybe, but he began dreaming of getting out early. Among all the other reasons to leave, he had begun a friendship, by mail, with a girl from back home.

After two months of research, he mailed off a brief and quickly got a response: He had filed it to the wrong court.

And when he redirected his appeal, Kopf denied it; the new decision did not apply retroactively in his case.

Still, something had clicked. Trying to figure out a solution to the legal puzzle was the first academic thing Hopwood had ever enjoyed. And it came easy. Soon he was sending memos to other inmates’ lawyers, suggesting strategies. Then he was writing briefs.

He was finding errors, often from overworked public defenders, like a young man sentenced to 16-and-a-half years for possessing less than a handful of crack cocaine because he had mistakenly been labeled a career offender. With Hopwood’s help, his sentence was reduced by more than 10 years.

The third brief he ever wrote was for a friend whose appeal had been denied. Hopwood spent months learning about the Supreme Court and habeas petitions, and one night he realized how he could frame an argument using the Sixth Amendment rather than the Fifth. After many drafts, honed by conversations with fellow inmates that forced him to distill the legal issues into simple, compelling logic, he typed out a petition for certiorari and mailed it off.

Months later, he was working out early one morning when a prisoner came running toward him, screaming that Hopwood was going to die. He tensed for a fight; he had recently survived a situation in which he fully expected to be stabbed to death by gang members.

But the man was holding a newspaper, with the story of the Supreme Court accepting a petition from a federal prisoner.

The odds of that happening are maybe 1 in 10,000, said Seth Waxman, the former solicitor general of the United States who agreed to argue the case for free. He read the petition with amazement. “It was incredibly good. It really identified, in sort of a crystalline form, the questions presented. It explained the conflict, it explained the importance.”

He immediately wanted to talk to the bank robber who could write such a thing, and thus began a friendship that would help change the trajectory of Hopwood’s life.

Now Hopwood was spending his time doing things such as reading a 1,650-page textbook on criminal procedure. Twice. He was taking college classes, and paralegal studies. And with new sentencing guidelines, he was busy churning out work for other inmates, taking on 10 or more cases at a time. “I was running a law firm in prison,” he said lightly. Because he was now convinced that sentences beyond about five years didn’t make sense for any but the most dangerous criminals, because he was upset by the disparities in sentences, because he saw prison more often hardening people or cutting off their chances for reform than turning their lives around, he enjoyed seeing people packing for home. He had another petition granted by the Supreme Court.

When he walked out of prison in October 2008, he was 33 and overwhelmed with anxiety about rebuilding his life. He knew no one was clamoring to hire felons. He wanted to get married and go to college, and he had no money. He was working at a carwash when he had another moment of grace: A family-run legal printing business in Omaha agreed, after getting some reassurance from Waxman, to hire him to help with their Supreme Court briefs. “If that doesn’t happen, none of this does,” he said.

A story in the New York Times unleashed a flood of invitations to speak, and a book deal. Still it was difficult, given his résumé, to get into law school. But the University of Washington granted him a full scholarship that made it possible--even with a little boy at home, and a girl born on the first day of law school--to attend.

He startled his former probation officer in the elevator of the courthouse one morning two months after his supervised release ended. He was not there for his mandatory check-in this time. He was arriving for work, clerking for a federal judge.

As he was studying 12 hours a day, he was wondering: Would he be granted a law license at the end of all this, or would they reject him because of his criminal record? The hearing was long, but in the end, the vote was unanimous. And in April 2015, after he passed the bar exam, he was sworn in as a lawyer by the D.C. Circuit judge who had chosen him for a prestigious clerkship.

He joined Georgetown on a teaching fellowship about a year and a half ago, working with students on cases in the appellate clinic. He sees issues others don’t, strategies that others don’t, said Steven Goldblatt, director of appellate litigation.

“He understands the problems of incarceration in a way that somebody who just studies them as an academic is not able to get,” said William Treanor, the law school’s dean.

Many colleagues were struck by his academic writing, Goldblatt said. Hopwood wrote about the rule of lenity, which he described as designed to protect citizens from getting caught in vague laws, and argued it must be revitalized to push Congress to write with more precision when drafting laws that take away liberty.

It’s not a theoretical issue, Goldblatt said. It’s fundamental. “It symbolizes what Shon is all about,” he said. “Why wasn’t there more written about it? Damned if I know.”

The surreal moments continue. Recently Hopwood helped his former criminal defense attorney practice a case to be argued in front of the Supreme Court. He also spoke on an academic panel with Kopf, the judge who sentenced him. It was an emotional meeting for both. Kopf gave Hopwood a gift that had great meaning for him, a leather briefcase Kopf had received from a former prisoner whom he had defended. It was a recognition, Kopf said, that he and Hopwood were both trying to emulate justice.

“I don’t know if it was atonement as much as it was, ‘Carry on--keep doing what you’re doing,’” Kopf said, thinking out loud. “I would do anything for Shon.”

Hopwood is still, at 41, haunted by guilt and regret for his crimes. But he is an optimist by nature, and he has accepted that he can only change the future. Now his primary goal is to help people, whether by serving as a reminder that you can turn your life around, by giving students an understanding of the real impact of the law, or, he hopes, by influencing the criminal justice system.

So while he kept the letter from a law firm offering him $400,000 a year, it was just as a curiosity. The money would be nice, but influence is what he wants. The Capitol dome is literally in view from campus, and most days he walks right past the Federal Bureau of Prisons’ headquarters.

Even now, preparing to start a new position at Georgetown on July 1 as an associate professor of law, with a young family, and all the gratitude he has for the friends along the way, he doesn’t feel like he’s made it.

“I’ll feel that way when the federal government passes a bill that gets rid of federal mandatory sentences,” he said. “That will be the moment for me.”

#Shon Hopwood #ex-con law professor

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