#also we keep saying serving 35 to life because she’s SERVING!!!!

[tellytoys]

Barbara Marvadene (Ms. Steal Your Girl) is serving 35 to life, with your help you can make it seven consecutive life sent-

[oddmawd]

For the 35 questions, can I ask you about numbers 8, 9, 12, 19, 21 and 25? Thanks! *sends hugs*

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

i don't find Doffy or Smoker to be particularly difficult? once i outlined each story and determined their motivations, it's been easy enough to keep them on track in terms of characterization and development (though i was intimidated by doffy early on)

also Brook in The HΩuse on Rumbar Boulevard has been a joy to write, he's a breeze and SO MUCH FUN

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

i've been poking at a Marco (One Piece) fic and tbh he's tough, it's hard to nail his demeanor and speaking voice (i refuse to add 'yoi' all over the damn place when writing in english LMAO)

also Kurama (YYH), but not because i personally have trouble writing him per se...i just have a very specific characterization of him in mind and it's pissed people off before (like bro people are SO PRECIOUS ABOUT HIM!??? wtfffff)...i have felt self-conscious about my plans for him in The Sight Unseen as a result...also the OC i've paired with him isn't the fandom's normal OC archetype for a kurama fic and i've gotten the rudest fucking comments about it saying Rei is not "special enough" for him LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........it's wild what people find acceptable for this fictional blorbo (like they think they can somehow dictate which OCs are 'allowed' or not) but you do you booboo, live your truth, LMAO

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

oh god how long we got? LMAO

i've been posting lately about The Art of Queen Sacrifice, my upcoming Doffy/OC fic...it takes place in an AU setting that's more in line with a historical pirate setting, with no Devil Fruit powers, and i'm really eager to show it to you all....OBLIGATORY MOODBOARD REPOST:

i also have a ton of OCCULT PIECE stories to share...i have fics planned for Marco, Katakuri, Shanks, Mihawk, Pedro, Crocodile, Buggy, Sabo, and many more...i just love exploring the lore of that gigantic AU, and every story is a new opportunity to map out new connections and the history of the modern, urban fantasy AU setting

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

it's one or the other and NO in-between at all

i love writing canon compliant shit...There's Fire and The Grasp of Gilded Strings are both as canon compliant as they can be considering One Piece is unfinished, and i designed both stories to fit seamlessly with canon without disrupting it...i want them to read as additional side-stories that complement the canon, and for both of them, i'm achieved that (though of course future Smoker or Doffy developments during or post-Egghead, which is where we are now in canon, could derail my plans)

tbh, setting things post-canon for complete series is my overall preference when remaining canon compliant...canon can never "unmake" anything i write when the series is complete, and i used to write exclusively for completed series before falling in love with One Piece

on the opposite side of the spectrum, OCCULT PIECE is a clear indicator of how much i love completely AU settings...i love making my own playground within the bounds of fandom <3

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

i don't write pairings of canon characters, so OC/CC is my preferred pairing to write (and read)

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

SO MANY OMFGGGGGG

the entire OCCULT PIECE world is alive in my head and i daydream about it constantly...i think Sanji is at work in the Baratie restaurant in the OCCULT PIECE world and he occasionally serves meals to the couples in the OccP universe, so it's funny to think about him serving Zoro and the Witch on a date

i think about Rei and Kurama going dancing a lot...also i headcanon that she's the OC in The Hunt sometimes, and if that story is their married life, i can't help but think about what she and Kurama got up to on their honeymoon LMAOOOOOO...planning on writing that one down someday because it's gonna be 🔥

also i daydream the conclusions of There's Fire, Beyond the Fracture and Gilded ALL THE TIME, i've basically lived out those stories a million times already LMAO

FIND THE "35 Questions for Fanfiction Writers" LIST HERE

[sigyn-foxyposts]

⧼Random Norse mythology ship head cannons: Frigg x Fulla⧽

Back with another ship to add into the series, that I believe some of you have actually heard about! Oh Frigg and Fulla, my tragic little lesbians.. You deserved better. Maybe in another life time 😔

Feel free to use these for your own ideas, I'm simply making this series to show support to random ships we create, basing things off on what we in sources of finds and yes! I'm gladly feeding into them all. ✨

༻𓊈Head cannons 𓊉༺

How did they met?

Fulla was one of Frigg's handmaidens, like many other Ásynjur goddesses, but she held a special role in personally attending to Frigg’s needs. Fulla kept Frigg entertained with engaging conversations, assisted her in managing daily tasks, and took care of her footwear. Their relationship grew more intimate when Frigg, feeling neglected by Odin and hurt by his infidelities, sought solace in Fulla.

This comfort soon blossomed into a romantic relationship. Frigg finding reassurance in knowing that Fulla genuinely cared for her when her husband did not. Meanwhile, the devoted and loyal Fulla, deeply enamored with Frigg, considered herself fortunate to serve and love her lady without hesitation or complaint.

Their dynamic!

They might have a big difference in power dynamic but Frigg never takes advantage of her status, especially not against Fulla. If anything she makes sure Fulla, despite being a servant gets the same treatment as her!

While both Frigg and Fulla love to chat and gossip. Fulla finds herself to be the one listening most of the time.

Fulla from the very start was always so smittend by Frigg's beauty and grace.

Every night Fulla found herself treassuring everything they shared together, excited to see her again.

Sadly when their relationship became romantic, they had to keep it a secret from most of the aesir.

That way Odin wouldn't find out about it and unleash his wrath upon the two.

The two ladies would only be open about their relationship with certain people like: Gná, Hlín, Lofn, Sjofn, Baldr, Nanna, Hodr and Hermod.

The wodden box Fulla holds is very symbolic, containing not only the truth about their relationship but all of Frigg's most precious secrets.

Fulla takes her role as not only Frigg's handmaiden but as the protector of Frigg's secrets very seriously. She would rather die where she stands then tell.

Fulla wears a golden band around her free hair, it being a gift from Frigg. (Gylfaginning Chap.35 reference)

To others it symbolic of Fulla being a virgin, a lady in waiting but little do they know the real meaning behind it.

It's a way to keep Fulla out of harms way and from prying eyes of men. That way, Frigg can protect that she holds dearest! It being almost a similar case to Baldr.

The very few times when Frigg could travel, she brought Fulla with her. Unable to stay away from her even when she had free time to do as she pleased.

On more than one occasion they had to say they were "found sisters" because of how close and affectate they were.

The two women also practiced seidr together, it turning into a intimate ritual between them whenever they were alone. (Second merseburg incantation)

Baldr might have been the favorite son of Odin, but it Fulla who had delivered and together with Frigg, had raised her sons when they were young children!

Because Odin was an absent father in the early days, always traveling. Frigg found herself struggling through motherhood alone without him!

But since Fulla lived in their hall, she was able to aid her lady in need, making their bond even more closer.

The woman was a passionate and caring step-mother, somehow made to manage three wild playful children.

She would also pay special attention to little Hodr, helping him navigate through the world and teaching him how to read runes with his fingers.

Fulla wouldn't dare call herself the mother to any of Frigg's children, in fear to disrespect Odin. But Hermod, Hodr and Baldr view things a little differently.

They absolutely adore Fulla, secretly seeing her as a second mother.

Even accepting her as a part of their family, not just because she helped take care for them but because she deserved their mother's love and affection.

When Baldr started having nightmares, both the ladies were worried sick, knowing through the prophecies Frigg had spoken about it could be time.

Fulla was the one to offer to comfort their family, while Frigg was out.

Once Frigg had lost not only one son, but two. Fulla felt protective over her lady more than ever, refusing to let anyone near them! Not even Odin.

They'd spent days just laying in Fulla's bed, trying to grieve in each other's arms. Frigg didn't even care what Odin thought, all she needed was Fulla.

But even in death Nanna and Baldr would not be forgotten as they gave gifts back to their family, even Fulla. (Gylfaginning chap. 49 reference)

The pet names Frigg gave Fulla are:

"Hirðmey" (court maiden) "Gullband" (golden band) "Fríðr" (beautiful)

While Fulla's pet names for Frigg is:

"Hjartkona" (heart-woman/wife) "Ástvinur" (beloved friend) "Min drottning" (my queen)

Random trivia on the ship!

Their ship name is Frulla!

Frigg is a dominant switch, while Fulla is a power bottom. They're both gentle and soft lovers.. Very wholesome!

I always imagined Frigg being bisexual, because I truly do believe she loved Odin until he cheated. Fulla is obviously painted to be a lesbian in my opinion.

They give off ''forbidden lovers'' vibes!

Songs that remind me of them!

"They're singing about how they'll keep their secrets until the end of days and they don't appreciate people who snitch! Dangerous duo I must say~"

"Frigg singing about how much she wants to be with her dear "friend" Fulla, but she's too scared to make it too obvious that she likes the goddess back."

[summerfevers]

if you’re up to it i would very much like to know your white collar neal timeline🎤🎤

this turned out to have many asides and be very long so the tl;dr is: peter have you considered that he's just a twenty-something teenage girl :( ?

timeline:

neal born 1984 ish. he's an aries and a millennial

neal, ellen, and neal's mom go into witsec 1987, neal age 3

2003 adler scandal i fucking guess. neal age 19

neal arrested probably mid 2005, 21

neal goes to jail for the first time, i want to say early 2006, age almost 22

pilot is set late summer 2009, age 25

same-sex marriage legalized in new york june 24th 2011, they talk about this in season 3 episode 14 which is soon after. neal's 27

more or less a year later–let's go with less–neal tells sam that he has spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18. taking him literally that it was 10 years ago he is now 28 it is the end of season 4 and 2012

the end of season 4 to the series finale is less than a year. he is 29 its 2013.

when we see him in paris he might be 30 but that doesn't count To Me

i present my evidence:

i don't know where we got "neal is 35" from i cant make it work. neal and co. went into witsec (which i have actually since learned is not available to people living in dc, they have their own version but it is not overseen by the federal marshalls, i don't think they can give you as many legal documents like a ssn, and they don't help you set up your new life as much? something about neal's life that would be interesting to explore.) when he was three and ellen says in season 4 that she's been in witsec for Nearly three decades. confirmed 33 or under in season 4

he also says to "sam" more than once that he's spent the last decade running from the truth he learned at 18–he very well could be rounding down here and mean like 12-13 years but i am Choosing to Believe he meant that literally. we are now at youngest 28, it is the last episode of season 4.

now due to the way the show is structured and the fact that it is never really winter. ok maybe winter 1 time because i can see in my mind neal in his little wool coat and earmuffs but largely it is summer and we never have a christmas episode. anyway due to All That our only real anchor in the timeline is that the episode where diana is Grappling with her engagement to Christie happens immediately following june 24th 2011, when same-sex marriage was legalized in new york. and also that later that season in the commutation hearing they say that neal has served 2 years of his sentence. so the pilot was set in 2009 when it aired we are at one year/season. but as the series goes on the episodes and even seasons have increasingly shorter gaps between them, and by season 6 we haven't even finished our four years. by the end of season 4 i want to say we are three years into his sentence and he's 28. between the end of season 4 and when neal dies in season 6 there has got to be less than a year that passes. actually deadass why was neal so obsessed with the pink panther case ending his sentence early we are like months out king. i get the injustice the system is broken they'd keep him forever but to people outside his circle he must have looked sooo silly for that. but whatever. he is 29 when he dies and 30 when we see him again in paris, his roaring 20s of crime and incarceration over.

Anyway where the "neal is 35 or at least claims to be much older than this timeline would say he is" probably came from in-universe is that the adler scandal takes place SEVEN years before s2 when peter confronts neal about it. 2003?????? guys the thing we have to understand, to embrace, about neal's personal timeline is that i do not think anyone in that writers room was really grasping how much they had neal do in so short a time. 2003 he is like 19 guys. maybe by the time peter says it was 7 years ago it was 2011 ? and the adler thing was 2004? but no that couldn't work because it's mid 2011 like a year later in s3. so basically neal walks out of st louis and has a magical girl transformation through which he immediately becomes a great conman and criminal. and he meets mozzie basically straight away. he should still be in like calculus and ap lit at this juncture. and then they go right into the adler con ??? and neal is obviously lying through his teeth to everyone saying he is at least 21 but probably more along the lines of 23. and while most of his aliases are eventually found out by peter if no one else, no one ever goes "wait IS HE a teenager?" no one is guessing this.

so we spend a couple months fucking around and fucking UP with adler, kate probably doesn't know how old we actually are, this relationship cannot actually last very long at all because we are truly on a time crunch right now. we have less than three years for neals entire criminal career before he goes to jail. i know i said on the bullet list he went to jail early 2006 he has got to have been arrested like summer 2005 at the latest to be tried and sentenced by then and i feel like even that might be tight because he was suspected of so many other things they wanted to get evidence for. but how is neal teaching kate to be a criminal less than a year into his own career. i think neal must have been a hardcore improv kid for this to work honestly. i bet he competed. so our golden days of mozzie neal and kate against the world lasts maybe a year at best before neal and kate fight and she leaves and he spends months trying to get her back and get her attention and commits a truly breathtaking amount of crimes in this time.

also i'm skipping through forging bonds right now trying to flesh out this timeline and it was incredibly shady of peter and co to see that kate is doing so much to stay hidden from her ex boyfriend and then to reveal her to neal in order to catch him. like that was fucked up they didn't know neal yet he hadn't been suspected of violent crimes but they didn't know why kate was working so hard to escape him. like it worked out ok (arguably, but that could be a different post) but they had no reason to trust neal not to hurt her like this. she could have been running from an abusive situation he's known to be a talented criminal with no fears about escalating his crimes he could have killed her. one thing about the fbi is that they never once care about kate's safety and it does indeed get her killed one day.

in conclusion neal is known as one of the best forgers in the world when he is arrested in 2005 at age 21 maybe 2 years into his criminal career. here i am 21 what have i accomplished

[magicxc]

Hills and Valleys

Synopsis: Legend has it that Halloween is strictly for the scares. With ghouls and goblins, vampires and werewolves, witches and broomsticks, who could disagree?

However, all this friend group wanted was a little trick or treat. Sprinkle in a few party favors, loud music and a cabin in the woods, the myth was bound to come true.

Lurking around the corner is danger like never before, eager to bring this night to a bloody finish.

So join these friends as they fight to make it through a Hallween they’ll never forget.

Word Count: 3506

Warnings: murdaaaa, tha big reveal

Chapter 6 - Jasons POV

A/N: this is legit like my 5th attempt at uploading this damn fic. From the warnings to the word count to the moodboard to the story all the way down to the fucking tagsssss 😩 I am TIRED. Almost turned my phone into jello over Dumblr. So please, enjoy; cause tears def went into this.

Series Masterlist

“What’s with the scrutiny all of a sudden?” Emery challenged. “You know I could say the same for you Jason, the same for all of us really; cause where was anyone when our friends were fighting for their lives?” she sniffled. “All we have to do is sit here til sunrise and we can’t even do that.”

As annoying as I find Emery, she made a decent point. Where was I? Where was anyone and how did this manage to happen unheard? Do I actually believe Lorenzo did it? Not really. He’s lost arguably the two closest people in his friend group, cradling Stephanie in his arms for God knows how long. For a second I almost believed he’d break through the window if it meant he could reach out and hold Julianna much the same; his behaviour eerily composed, reminding me of the calm before the storm - and what a shit storm it’s turned out to be.

Serving in the military, I was taught to survive in extreme atmospheric conditions; training to fight in places as scorching as the desert and as icy as the snow. Our exercises also saw us in unsturdy places such as the choppy currents of the water, arms linked together as we floated on the surface for hours. The sky was no exception either, learning to parachute from altitudes so high the air was all but limited. It wasn’t my dream to fight for this country but, life happens. And while it did come with its perks, I wouldn’t recommend any sane person to join. I’ve scraped so many bodies off the battlefield and sent so many others to meet their maker, I’ve become somewhat desensitized to death - learning to keep calm during the most chaotic and life threatening moments because it’s only then that I was able to live to tell the tale. And that’s what I’ve been attempting since we all found ourselves locked in this place - surviving, lending out my experience to the team who quite frankly doesn't deserve it at this point. All I can do is stay calm long enough to see this night through.

“I think we should waterboard the fucker.”

And here the fuck we go. I’ve never pegged Lynn for such a firecracker but I get it. After all, this night is drawing all sorts of emotions from people: showing our true colors when the universe dangles something so priceless before us.

It's been said that about 1800 people have jumped from the golden gate bridge, yet only 35 have survived the fall. And each person that’s survived has explicitly stated that they regretted jumping halfway through the fall, realising, in the face of imminent danger, just how solvable all their problems seemed. Much like tonight, in what happened to be a party gone horribly wrong, recovering bodies littered around the house like candies during an easter egg hunt, only then do you realise how desperately you want to live. Many people are familiar with the term fight or flight, but what goes most overlooked is a secret third thing - fear. Fear so intense it freezes you to one spot like a deer in headlights, too afraid to move from the oncoming beams of tragedy. But another emotion fear pulls from us is survival, an emotion so fierce that you’d find yourself doing just about anything to have it; even going as far as to commit interrogation tactics of torture.

“Exactly which fucker are you referring to?” Emery questioned.

“Whoever the fucker is responsible for this mess.”

“Go ahead and point them out for us since you know every damn thing.”

They’re on their own with this one. I can't deal with the bickering. I'm used to organized and thought provoking responses in such situations; my irritation rising the more it sinks in just how wet they are behind the ears.

“Lorenzo, you’re one more insult away from me socking you in the face.”

“Whatever Lynn, what you should hit is the books you dumbass,” he retorts.

Throwing her shoe at him, it just barely misses his face; Emery stepping in to call them both childish.

“So help me God if you don’t get your shit together, I’m gonna whoop you like your parents should have.”

“Fuck you Lenny, at least my parents were active enough in my life not to let me get raised by the help.”

“Parent,” Lorenzo enunciated. “Had your dad been able to afford the help, maybe your mom would’ve stuck around you motherless bitch.”

Well shit.

“Jason, do something!”

“Right, uhhh all shoes in the middle of the floor,” I instructed.

“Asshole.”

I don’t know why Emery insists on calling me out. Everyone, despite tonight’s circumstances, in this room is responsible for their own actions. Yet she expects me to jump in the middle of their bullshit every time. I don't know what kind of savior complex they have going on, but I won’t be a part of it. I barely want to be with sugar at this point.

“Lenny you motherfucker, two parents plus the help and yet no one taught you what it means to have common decency; no wonder women can’t wait to get rid of you.”

“Well if it isn’t the whore of Babylon here to teach us a lesson about keeping partners. Tell you what, you teach me how to keep a woman and I’ll teach you how to get rid of the clap.”

“Sex shaming is not cool,” Emery criticized.

“And neither is half the things that's been flapping past Lynn's lying ass lips,” Lorenzo retorted. “If you’re gonna be biased, do so from the corner of the room, cause you’re at about arms length right now and that’s not good for you.

“Would you seriously hit me?” she ridiculed.

I would.

“Are you surprised Em, this is the same piece of shit who yanked Julez arm so hard, it left bruises.”

“You dramatic whore, no the fuck I did not.”

“And that was in front of an entire crowd, who knows what you’re capable of behind closed doors huh? Drowning? Slicing?”

“Sounds like you’re in the mood to find out.”

“Tell me their last words to you as you watched them fight for their lives you piece of shit.”

“YOU GUYS PLEASE.”

Oh my God.

“Shut your mouth Lynn.”

“Tell me every horrifying detail about what fucked you up so bad that you’d turn on your own friends in such a way.”

“I won't ask you again.”

“Steph probably begged you to finish her off didn’t she? Eager to get the hell away from you and your perverted advances.”

For a big guy, Lorenzo’s pretty damn swift. Maybe it’s because all those drinks are still sloshing around in my bloodstream but my cat like senses wasn’t quick enough to catch him.

Angrily lunging toward Lynn his hands are tightly wrapped around her throat, arms trembling from the forceful hold. Beads of sweat drip down his forehead, while spittled foam gathers at the corners of his mouth. Blinking away tears, thick veins line the surface of his neck, incoherent mumbling tumbling past his lips.

Sugar desperately beats at his arms, struggling for air he refuses to give her and my anger shoots through the roof, their foolishness pissing me off for the final time. It takes both me and Emery to tear Lorenzo away from sugar, his grip firm and unrelenting. For a second I feared that he actually intended to kill her. Once we finally manage to drag him away, it takes me putting my full weight on this man, using one of my hand to hand combat moves to lock him into place.

Pinned beneath me, I scream to Emery to grab anything strong enough to tie his arms together. She brings me back one of the kitchen towels and I roll us sideways so that she can wrap it around his hands.

“I - I can't do it, he won’t stop thrashing his arms.”

“For fucksake Emery TRY, there’s only so much I can do right now.

With lots of wiggling and flailing, Emery manages a decent enough knot for me to turn him over and reinforce it. Sugar finally catches her breath before storming into the kitchen.

We sit Lorenzo in a chair while Emery tries to coax him into comfort. Standing up, he head butts me in the face, my nose immediately leaking blood from the impact. My fist returns the favor, knocking him back into the chair. Emery harshly tugs on my elbow, begging me to stop, and it takes everything in me to do just that because this fight was about to turn real unfair, real quick.

Dragging my arm across my face, I look about the room for anything to tie down his legs to the chair, coming up with some loose cloth, which undoubtedly was a part of someone’s costume.

“Fuck all of you,” Lorenzo screams.

“No Lenny, fuck you,” sugar screeched, thumping back to the room; a pitcher full of water cradled between her hands.

“Woah, woah, woah LYNNLEY. Are you fucking serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“This is Lenny, the same Lenny we’ve known since middle school.”

“People change Em and I'm about to show you just how much.”

“Sugar, maybe we should-“

“Shut up, all of you.”

“I know there’s been a lot said tonight, some things in particular we can never take back,” Lorenzo sighed. “And I know tensions are high right now, but are they so high that you’d all sit there and watch me die.”

“Lorenzo, no one’s gonna kill anyone man.”

“It’s WATERBOARDING, you of all people should know that it can very well get fatal.”

“Enough of this.”

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she pulls his head back, pouring enough water on him to drench his clothes, before being snatched away by Emery.

It's not nearly enough to kill him, but it does make for some discomfort, much like accidentally snorting a noseful of water once you dive inside a swimming pool. It burns but that's about it.

Coughing through his discomfort, I listen as sugar and Emery go back and forth over the severity of it all; and I briefly contemplate killing myself if it means that I won't have to deal with their nonsense. I honestly don't know if I can make it to sunrise like this and by the looks of it, neither will they.

Their bickering finally subsides, them agreeing only to question the man and nothing more. Of course Lorenzo detests it, that for no other reason than a hunch he’s guilty and lowkey he’s right. But then again, I'm not inserting myself into their madness. They’ve made it this far in this fucked up friend circle, they can make it the rest of the night.

“So lemme get this straight, you went upstairs to find cell signal and somehow found yourself next to a knife stricken Steph?”

“Lynn, ask your damn question.”

“How did you end up there and why?”

“My phone fell out of the window and I was looking for someone elses to use. It just so happened that Steph was the first person I found.”

“I think we should stop asking who may have done it, but why?” Emery proposed. “I feel like if we can figure out who had motive, we can narrow it down.”

“Well this is a pretty fucked up way to narrow things down. I'm literally tied to a chair.”

“That's because you choked me.”

“And I’ll do it again, you’ve been out of pocket since this whole thing started. How do we know you’re not the killer huh?

“Because I’m holding back from killing you now,” she shrieks.

Spitting, the thick glob lands directly on her chest, sugar all but emptying the contents of the pitcher onto his face; angrily clomping back into the kitchen to no doubt fill it again, but not before slapping him across the cheek.

Wet and stinging, that's quite the combination. I fear this has gone on long enough and it's only escalating. As much as I wanted to stay out of it, I think I better intervene.

Following sugar into the kitchen, I try to talk her out of this crazed state, her dazed pupils letting me know that she’s too far gone for reason. Pushing past me, she heads back into the living room where we see Emery struggling to untie the knots off Lorenzo, his violent coughing trying to dislodge the water that seeped into his lungs.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“The hell does it look like I'm doing Lynn, this is mad and it needs to stop now.”

“Not until I get some answers.”

“People who talk, talk after their first contact with water,” I bargained. “And he’s not talking.”

“All that means is we have to get him talking then.”

“OR, it means he didn’t do it. You pour a bucket of water over someone’s nose and they’ll tell you whatever you want to hear if it means you’ll stop.”

“And yet you did it anyway,” she glared.

“There was a time where I would’ve died for all of you. I found a family in you guys and it filled a void I didn’t even know I had. And in one night, one measly fucking night I lose it all,” Lorenzo whimpered. “My best friend gets murdered without us ever properly mending things between us. I had to watch the love of my life die in my arms. And now, my other friend is actively trying to kill me, disregarding our decade long friendship all in the name of anger.

“Lorenzo, you did this to yourself!”

“LYNN, how fucking cruel can you be?”

“It’s alright Em, I’ve been known to be a bit of an asshole, though I’d like to think I meant well,” he bitterly chuckled, snot trickling down his nose. “Do me a favor and survive this fucked up night, cause God only knows who Lynn will turn on next. Not to mention that fucker over there,” he says, head nodding toward me. “Ain't it a little odd how all of this starts happening the moment he shows up? Yet I'm the one you helped him strap down to a chair. They ask what would you do for a klondike bar, but you better start asking what would Lynn do for a piece of dick, cause apparently it’s kill for it.”

“Lorenzo, I'm actually on your side. The only reason you’re even tied to that chair is because you attacked two people in this room,” I defended.

“And what's the reason I'm being waterboarded huh? Who weaseled that thought in her mind? You say you fight for your country? Motherfucker you can't even fight for the people in this room, but you like what’s happening huh?

“Not at all man.”

“We get it, I'm a dumb hoe, but you’re about to be a dead one if you don’t fess up.”

“And then what? You’ll let me go free?”

“Jason, please help me untie him,” Emery pleaded.

“Em don’t you fucking dare.”

Lunging toward her, hands get tangled into hair and nails get scratched into skin before I can get between them. It takes more strength than I care to give to hold Emery back, both she and sugar throwing around insults.

“Lynn I swear, you’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Lorenzo taunted. “YOU ARE THE CUM SHOT YOUR MOTHER SHOULDVE SWALLOWED. It would’ve saved your dad a lifetime of headaches and your mother the embarassm-“

Lorenzo’s words get cut off by the splashing of water, his gurgling noises buried under the guzzling of the pitcher. Emery goes wild, hitting my chest repeatedly and I toss her to the ground, jetting over to the scene behind me. Slapping the pitcher from Lynn’s hands, it's on the verge of empty, nothing but a trickle left inside as it splatters to the floor.

Lorenzo’s body furiously thrashes around, his chest caved in and head hung over with water spluttering from his mouth in an attempt to rid it from his body.

“Shit, Lynnley what the fuck did you do,” I screamed.

Emery is struggling to undo the knots, but all she’s doing is pulling them tighter together. I race over and lean the chair forward, hoping for gravity to expel some of the water from his airway, his body jerking about minorly.

“Why are you just standing there, find something to cut him loose.”

Scrambling into the kitchen, I hear dishes clinking and slamming together before Lynn comes running out with a knife, slicing through the cloth as best she can. The kitchen towel, since it was the thickest, took the longest and by the time we got him out the chair and on the floor, his fits has ceased.

Getting into position, I lock my hands together and press down on his chest, 30 times just like we did in training.

“Emery, once I count to 30 I need you to tip his head back and blow two big breaths into his mouth okay.”

“And what do I do?”

“Stay the fuck over there, I doubt he’d want your help at this point,” Emery yelled.

We do five sets of 30 compressions. The CPR forces out some of the water but Lorenzo is still unconscious.

“Why isn’t it working?” Emery wails.

“Em-“

“Why are you stopping, keep going.”

“Stop.”

Pushing against my chest, Emery restarts CPR.

“The lungs are about 9 inches in height, that's a little under a foot.”

“Nobody cares, just fucking help me.”

“The pitcher that Lynn poured over his face looked to be about 64 ounces and she did it twice. That was enough water to fill his lungs three times over.”

“We can do it, I know we can,” she croaked.

“There's no amount of CPR that can expel that much water. And his lungs are so heavy they’re actively swelling as we speak.”

“We won’t know unless we try Jason, you get the mouth and I’ll get the chest.”

“Blowing air into his already expanding lungs won't help Emery.”

“Am I supposed to just watch him die then?” she chided. “Isn’t there a way to drain it?”

“I'm no doctor and neither do we have the tools or the sterile space to do that.”

“Fuck a sterile space!”

“Not only would you infect him but stabbing anything in his chest to ‘drain it’ will only make him bleed out. We would need a very specific and precise needle.”

“No, we can do it,” she answered, starting the compressions again.

The splattering of liquids on the floor lets me know that Lynn has just emptied the contents of her stomach, but I'm in no mood to comfort.

“The body works in 3’s. Three days without water, three weeks without food, and three minutes without air. It’s been about seven now.”

“Shut up.”

“Lorenzo’s lungs are so heavy they’ve probably detached from his windpipe. That, coupled with no oxygen to his brain…at least he was unconscious before it happened.

“Jason either you help me or you leave,” Emery threatened, fat teardrops rolling down her face in droves.

There’s five stages of grief and they’re at the first one. Back against the furniture, I hold my head in my hands, listening to sugars light whimpers and Emery's ragged breathing.

She tires herself out with compressions, fists flying to his chest, pleading for him to wake up. Hands clutched over her ears, sugar rocks back and forth, mumbling out apologies, expletives, and frustrations; guilt no doubt eating her alive.

Hands dropping to my pocket, I rummage around for anything I can chew on, ready to get out of here and never see these people again. Fingers slipping free with the peppermint goodness, I unwrap it and pop it in my mouth.

Some minutes pass by, how many I don't know and the night grows quiet. As tragic as it’s been for everyone, this minute's peace brings about a small sense of tranquility. There’s the occasional sniffle and I watch as the sky transitions from pitch black to a pale pink, the telltale sign of the sun about to rise.

“At least his parents will be home soon right?” sugar questions.

“Yep, right in time enough to see their only son sprawled out on the floor and his friends scattered across the property. So much for the new owners, their home just turned into a crime scene.”

“Do you have any more gum?” Emery asked, voice sore from crying.

Tossing it in her direction, she catches it, face upturned once she removes the wrapper.

“Eww, Jason what the fuck, who the hell buys brown gum? What kind of flavor even is this?”

“It's peppermint,” I answered, popping a bubble.

“Still weird, I haven’t seen this shit since-“

The words die on her tongue. She looks up to me, revelation fresh on her features, which slowly etches into panic, as a sinister grin makes its way onto mine.

[baelpenrose]

Nihilus Rex 35: Escalation

Nils crosses one of his first major lines here. That plan about swatting a hate church comes to fruition. TW for gun violence. Also we're gonna repeat the disclaimer that we feel increasingly obliged to as Nils keeps escalating. Especially since this is probably one of the few actually imitable atrocities he commits. Hey, I know I harbor a massive hate for evangelical churches but don't do this in real life. It's awful, and just like in this chapter? It will hurt innocent people. Afterverse Studios does not endorse anything with this kind of collateral damage. The hate preachers may deserve it, the families they're brainwashing don't. Do not do this. If the morals don't convince you, the legal rammifications might. You will get caught. Nils & Co. have villain protagonist powers, you don't.

Co written by @canyouhearthelight.

Do you believe in God?

Written on the bullet

Say yes to pull the trigger

Do you believe in God?

Written on the bullet

And Cassie pulled the trigger

“Cassie”, Flyleaf

Nils

It was a few days after the party, and the preparation for the SWAT attack was ready. Gray had been in constant contact as we’d prepared the attack to turn the churchgoers against the government, give the Christians an actual persecution to be afraid of - and escalate the armed contingent against the police.

Now, I sat in our little abandoned mall, behind a wall of VPNs, and prepared to ignite something that set fire to my veins with an excitement I couldn’t believe I felt at what I was about to do.

Shot up gay clubs. Kids kicked out of their homes. Kids committing suicide because of peers and parents who couldn’t accept them. People dying, the word “faggot” or “dyke” or “tranny” the last they’d ever hear.

Today, retribution. 

Somewhere, some spoilsporting part of my mind recognized that I was about to cause a mass shooting, and I could hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like Father Rivera’s speaking that old proverb. Something about how those who make use of the devil's tools shall, by degrees, come to serve his ends.

They should have listened to you then. Today their tools are mine. 

I keyed off the bot that started the SWAT call. Pre-recorded. A hostage situation in the church. Then another. Another. VPNs would cluster the calls as coming from that area. After about four or five, with more and more 911 calls that rapidly hung up, I terminated the bot, and waited, my eyes on the screen.

“Keep an eye on online chatter, everyone. Things are about to get real exciting.”

The church’s own livestream let us watch what unfolded. SWAT burst through the doors, and the pastor found himself interrupted. A fanatic right wing pastor who had spent years swearing the deep state would eventually come for Christians, who swore up and down that Trump would save them. A gun toting flock, allowed to carry in church. Cops charging in, keyed up to fight.

I didn’t see who fired the first shot. I don’t know that anyone did. I don’t know that history ever would know, as we never figured it out.

What mattered was that in minutes, the screen was consumed with a brutal firefight between an armed SWAT squad and dozens of armed church goers. Before anyone was doing more than reacting to the chaos,  three of the dozen armored officers and a score of the churchgoers were down, some silent and some thrashing and screaming, blood covering them. As the Evangelicals were diving behind the pews and shooting, they began catching other churchgoers in their shooting, randoms getting it in the backs, the legs. A flashbang caught a section of pews on fire, and the pastor caught a round high in the chest, gore spattering the wall behind him.

Lash looked away, turning so she couldn’t see the feed from even the corner of her eye.  She hunched over her laptop, pointedly focusing on online chatter.  “Mass shooting reported… Nothing about SWAT, which is wild.”

I didn’t take my eyes away from what we’d - I’d - done. “Give it a sec. News will have to break the story. Bishop - what are you seeing? And can you seed anything? Ghosts of Ruby Ridge, maybe?”

Gray’s voice came over the call. “No need. Already there. Bunch of people screaming about how this is why they need guns in church, government coming after worshippers. There’s already a few militia types moving towards that church to fight SWAT if they can get there in time.” His voice was smug. “I thought you were full of shit, but you weren’t kidding. The perfect gambit to give the right what it needed to finally decide playing nice with police was making them weaker, not stronger.” 

My attention snapped. “Bishop, monitor police bands.” This was gonna get real good, real fast.  At this point the SWAT team was falling back toward the exit, though it was apparent that more damage had been done in the church by its defenders than by the SWAT team - something that would be left out by the online reports - the ones that would be believed by Gray’s crowd, the side we were going to be using for our muscle.

Bishop snapped up. “Police closing on location, more SWAT, normal officers.”

I took a breath. “We may have brought more fire that we intended on this one but no sense in stopping now. Drop away from live feed - follow comments. We don’t need to draw attention to the fact that we were paying attention.” I disconnected from the live feed and switched to news coverage - it was supposedly a “breaking story” and CNN was already scrambling to fill the air with as much talking-head-speculation as they could to draw eyeballs for ratings while they waited for reporters to get to the scene and for facts to come in.

“Left wing chatter is coming down pretty harshly.  The kindest thing I’m seeing is ‘thoughts and prayers’, escalating all the way to ‘how are those guns in churches working for you’ and ‘at least no one will protest these funerals’,” Lash updated from her view. “The trolls are out in force.”

Gray snapped. “Better than the lack of guns at most left-wing gatherings usually go, apparently.”

“Not really. This entire plan relied on undisciplined shooters in the crowd starting a firefight, which wouldn’t have worked in a left wing crowd.” Bishop said, mildly.

I listened to the arguments among them for a second, then snapped back. “Police are reporting they had multiple localized calls about a hostage situation in the church and are already looking into this. They state they are still looking into who fired on them.”

Gray smirked. “Of course. That’ll do them a world of favors in a community that believes the government lies like it breathes and knows most mass shootings are false flags. Who just survived a government attack on a place of worship. Them being told a terrorist who hates them took advantage of their weapons to get them to fight the police, and that it wouldn’t have worked out if they’d been unarmed? They’ll just believe that’s obvious government attempts to manipulate them into disarming. Thanks for the suggestion, Bishop.”

Lash smacked her headset to mute it and started muttering in at least two languages I didn’t understand.  I was still pretty sure she was either swearing profusely or wishing a lot of ill on Gray.

I muted myself and turned to Lash. “Okay, that keeps our pawns in line, but this is gonna keep the FBI on us, or on our general direction - this is the second time police and right wingers have fatally drawn down because of some kind of digital manipulation. FBI lady is gonna come around here again. We need to have Weasel trussed up and ready for her when she gets back. And we need to be ready for whatever bullshit she’s gonna pull on either of our families. Let the skull collecting enthusiast worry about the gun nuts for a minute.”

She turned to me. “We still haven’t solved for how we are planning to frame or hack the ‘King of Icebreakers’.”

“Socially, at a guess. Behold, our mark: A single, college age man, who would be a reasonably attractive twink but for his repulsive personality and lack of personal hygiene. Technically brilliant. We have multiple instances of stochastic terrorism in the last few months - and by right wingers who spend too much time online. Some of whom clearly acted out of a sense of personal despair and a desire to make a mark on the world. What other instances of stochastic terrorism does this sound like?” 

“Elliot Rodger,” she answered, immediately realizing where I was going with it. “It’s Isla Vista all over again.”

“Right. Now, with shit this high profile, especially if they didn’t already get us for the banks, the higher levels of the Bureau are probably looking for a way to close the case - that whole thing with the Anthrax back in 2002, when there was no way to figure it out but they needed an answer. It got pinned on a dead man inside the Bureau who no one liked, despite the fact that weaponized Anthrax was a closely guarded Soviet secret that American intelligence never quite reverse engineered. And, wouldn’t you know it, Weasel’s icebreaker was used for the bank job. We just need to socially hack him through some other means to get him to stick his neck out, a little, in a place where FBI lady might see it. The rest takes care of itself. Weasel’s a coward - he’ll dust himself in a panic when the fibbies come for him. Guilty party dead, no further attacks, peace and victory in our time. We’ll lay low and launch more attacks later - and they won’t be looking for the same pattern.”

Lash drummed her fingers, thinking. “While we lay low, we should take the time to expand our network to other countries.  Keep doing small hacks here - the kind of stuff we did before that just didn’t hit the radar - but also scale so they don’t seem as connected.  You got anyone overseas?”

“Uh…One in Japan, one in the Netherlands, two in India, a German, and I had one in Algeria but haven’t heard from her in ages.” I left it at that, leaving unsaid that anyone in this business who suddenly went silent in most of the colonized world had probably been caught and wouldn’t be back.

“North Africa, Mumbai, Philippines, and China.” She offered in a distracted tone. “Clean water initiatives invite those types, surprisingly.”

“The German and Japanese guys are both ‘ethics in tech’ types who really wanted to work on preventing surveillance technology. Both Indians were people who liked the stuff I was doing with education access - neither originally came from money. Side note, whatever we do here still needs to get enough notice we can keep recruiting - I need on the ground left wingers so our eventual plays here have people who answer to you, so we’re not just stuck with minions who break shit for Gray.” 

“Keeping that in mind and already have feelers out.” Shaking her head to snap out of her daze, she looked at me with laser focus. “Pronatalists, yes or no? We need to decide that early on, because they are growing in non-religious tech spaces.”

“Of the ‘people should have resources to reproduce instead of being barred from doing so because of poverty’ type, sure, of the ‘I need 80 children for my ideology, religion, race, or whatever so that my particular neurosis can be soothed or politically dominant’ not only no, but no in a phrasing that implies we think everyone doing that should be sterilized.”

“We’ll have to closely vet them… if you throw a rock in a Pronatalist crowd, you’ll hit one of each.  Probably the same person, to be honest.”

Bishop groaned as he stretched. “Advocating for access to housing and resources to have big families is going to draw them in.  You’re going to get them either way.”

I grunted. “Same bucket as Gray’s goons, I suppose. Problem for tomorrow.” 

I slapped my headset. “New shit, Gray?” 

“I’m already playing. Check the boards.” 

I groaned internally and pulled up the boards Gray frequented. Same trick - new accounts. One account was clearly meant to be the idiot - playing up the heel leftist, who was mocking the victims for being stupid enough to have guns in a church.

Another was playing a conspiracy theorist who was claiming that he’d heard a left wing terrorist had done this as a false flag to get the right and the government to fight each other because the heavily armed church would shoot at the cops and the cops would shoot back. A third person was already arguing with that, pointing out that the government was already auditing that church’s taxes, and the deep state had never liked pro-Trump churches. 

A fourth guy was saying the police were sick of the right getting wise to false flags and were going to try to make up a ‘false flag’ narrative for them to buy into that would end in them seeing guns as an exploitable weakness. Unsurprisingly, this was the most popular comment - a bunch of responses about how already they’d heard rumors that a terrorist had tried to set up the fight to get cops and churchgoers killed. 

I seethed for a minute that he’d gambled on that - then reflected that it had worked. Using nothing more than something that would be counted as wild speculation in court, plus police reporting, he’d turned the crowd’s hostility back on the government.  I was surprised it was working, on one level - you’d think they’d go in on ‘cultural Marxists used us and the government against each other’ but then I realized why they wouldn’t. Not one of them would ever accept that they’d been fooled or tricked. 

And I was perfectly happy to see Gray making himself useful. Making the truth a joke but in a way that would make these people useful to us. Picking up enough momentum we could hijack these people and make them ours. Beginning the countdown to retire himself from relevance. I was perfectly aware that keeping him around too long increased the risk of this whole plan going wrong, of him corrupting our goals, and I needed to make sure he was dealt with well before things really got going.

“Alright. Fibbies next.” 

Bishop shook my shoulder and gestured at the newsfeed. “Hey, Nihilus,” he said, carefully emphasizing my handle as though to remind me to tailor my reaction. Gray was still listening. “Prelim casualty figures.”

I looked at them. 

Sixteen dead, thirty-three injured. One of the dead and eight of the wounded were children.

“Oh, God,” I heard Lash gasp.  “They were babies.” Before I could say anything, she was on her feet and out the door, all equipment left behind.

I felt like I was falling, but I forced myself to not react. What had we done?  What had we just done?

[the-snowdrop-system]

Fuck it, ALL my answers below the cut :3

1) Better than most, but not the greatest tbh...

2) My cousin (STRICTLY PLATONIC she has been helping me thru transition ever since i came out to her)

3) yes, i regret going to southern michigan in january

4) very insecure

5) single

6) i dont care how i die honestly, i just hope its relatively painless.

7) homemade pizza my aunt sent home with my dad today

8) if competing in martial arts as a kid counts, than yes, if not, then no.

9) constantly... i should stop that...

10) 1st day of 4th grade (he was bullying me for years, so i punched him square in the nose. He never bullied me again)

11) no, BUT im a hopeless romantic, so by the time you are reading this, my answer might have changed.

12) constantly... my sleep schedule sucks :)

13) only 2 people. My most recent ex, and the male responsable for half of my existance >:(

14) 5 people. My 3 besties from college, dude i talk to on occasion, and my cousin (see number 2, she lives over 1000 miles away from me)

15) no, i neither physically nor financially could take care of a pet, i wish i did tho, would make life slightly more bearable

16) rn, im upset. I might go over that more in another post, if i do ill link it here.

17) no

18) YES i realize they serve a good perpous to our ecosystem, i just wish they would do it somewhere else 😭

19) yes, to stop myself from going to southern michigan in january. Nothing good has come from that decision.

20) i dont remember where it was... it was a while ago anyways.

21) the same as they have been since i had surgery. Get up and walk around every little bit. Other than that, nothing. Maybe watch some lets plays of the new FNAF game since i cant afford a copy of my own :(

22) no, i wouldnt make a good parent honestly, im not responsible enough...

23) i got my ears pierced in december, but they healed up waaay sooner than they where supposed to so now i have 0. what a waste of money >:(

24) math and technology. Dont get me wrong, i am bad at both, but they are still what im best at 😭

25) wait, you already asked this question :(

26) food wise: nothing. In general: a hug.

27) probably yes, but they did worse to me.

28) yep, my most recent ex. (They are also the one mentioned in 27)

29) she did something to me, i stormed off, and she cried because i was upset, does that count?

30) i have a list :) see number 16.

31) no

32) pink or blue 🏳️‍⚧️

33) sometimes? It really depends honestly. Some people i trust to much, and other people i dont trust enough smh...

34) i drempt something about stawberrys last night i dont remember any specifics...

35) one of my parents. I dont remember which one tho.

36) i give everyone a second chance, but if you fuck up again im done. (If i can give the 2 people i hate a second chance, than i can give other people second chances as well.)

37) forget, only cus i got memory issues. But in all seriousness, i have a hard time with both...

38) FUCK NO this shit the worst!

39) 16 i think...?

40) NO????

Where the hell are questions 41-50? I feel like im getting ripped off! /j

51) Quesadillas

52) no, cus what "reason" is there for cancer? What "reason" is there for biggotry? What "reason" is there for plagues and pandemics? If someone can answer those, then i might reconsider.

53) turn on a quiet youtube video to listen too to help me sleep and turn on a fan to keep me cool.

54) cheating, no. Open relationships are one thing, but when two people are together in a closed relationship and one of them cheats, thats just wrong.

55) i try to be nice, but some people make that reeeeally hard. I can be a massive bitch if i need to be.

56) 1. My bully in elementary school.

57) yes, but i also believe it is very hard to find.

58) light snow

59) ... yes.

60) eventually, but only if im allowed to wear a cute wedding dress. (Ive had multiple exes say "if we get married you still have to wear a suit" [for reference im a trans woman])

61) depends on the context, but yea, it can be.

62) get back to me on that one. Im not sure anymore. The things that used to make me happy now only just get me by. I dont know how to feel happy rn.

63) fuck yea, i hate my dead name and want to legally change it, but there is that whole "im broke af" issue i gotta fix 1st.

64) yea, cus i would rather punch them than kiss them tbh.

65) i am gonna change the word from sex to gender in this question just because it will be easier to answer. I have 1 male friend, and idk what i would do if he said he likes me tbh...

66) yee. Same dude as 65

67) last man i talked to was my dad, other than him, the friend i mentioned in the last 2 answers.

68) prolly same dude as before, we where discussing FNAF lore

69) 2 people destined for eachother from birth? No. 2 people who form a bond stronger than just love, yes.

70) each of the 5 people i miss (see question 14)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[nightfallsupon]

They label our beliefs as "radical" to try to undermine the truth in what we are saying.

There is nothing extreme about wanting humans; living breathing people, to not be abused, traumatised, harmed by the systems within which we engage in and that are funded by our governments, that are meant to serve us. UNLESS you believe that we don't have the same rights as you. And in that case you are arguing that you have the right to persecute, exploit, and oppress us because you disagree with us, or because we are different to you.

I hate to return to this over and over again, but I have paid for my choices with my freedom again and again and again. So much so that I've lost count of the amount of time I've spent imprisoned. I could estimate it as a year of my life incarcerated in a mental health ward, and that's not even taking into account my stolen freedoms with what they have done to my body for over eleven years now, and the disability I now have because of the side effects of the drugs they will physically assault me to enforce. Where is the line of what is right? If they have their way I will pay for it with my body for the rest of my life. I am only 35. That is a long time to live in misery, without choice over my own body. A lifetime living in fear. A prisoner of my own body.

I have so much good to contribute to this world, but I am so traumatised and discredited that it feels as if no one will ever hear me. What they do to me, is infact more severe, more inhibiting, and more damaging to my health than it was for me being raped ten years ago, or abused throughout my childhood. They don't solve problems, they create more, under the guise of "safety" and "mental health." I am so distressed, and devastated at how they have treated me, and continue to treat me, that in the past I have tried to commit suicide. I weep every single day at the incredible loss I feel of my every freedom, and I cannot see a way out of this prison in body, mind, and spirit. Does my life not matter to anyone? Or only if it is lived the way they decide it to be? I feel such endless and broken despair. But I keep writing, my only hope that I can do something for people to finally hear me. To be a voice for others like me so broken by other humans. Humans who are being paid to do so much harm.

I know, I am not alone in the way I feel. I also know that I have the ability to communicate these feelings through writing. I have always found writing much easier than talking. Not everybody has this ability. And who will fight for the people who really struggle to express the negative impact of the nurses, doctors, judges, police, on their lives when no one will listen? Just because it is difficult to express, does not mean people do not feel the incredible hurt inflicted upon them, or that they do not have the agency to make their own decisions over their body and lives. I shut down when I am forced to meet the doctor every few months (a condition of being under the mental health act). It feels as if he/she exists to control and humiliate me, and that they already have a predisposition towards doubting and disbelieving my thoughts and feelings.

Just because I struggle to communicate with the man or woman that has the power to drug and imprison me (and who has succeeded in this many, many times), does not mean I am not self aware enough to understand my actions, or mind. Does it not make sense that it would be difficult to communicate with the man who has the power to take away my freedom. Every time I am forced to meet with him, I am terrified. And if I do not go, he will call the police to haul me away to be hospitalised. How in any way is that considered therapeutic or constructive, or infact conducive to health?? It is so clearly a cruel, and ineffective power imbalance. A violation of my human rights.

All he or she wants to talk about is symptoms - to pathologize my actions. This way of thinking does not help me, infact it makes me feel much worse, and badly worsens my wellbeing. And if it is not helping me, what is its purpose? Who is it for? Really this way of thought exists for justification of their control. They can use our words against us, to say in court that we do not have insight because our own opinions are different to theirs. They can rob us of our freedoms for years and years (by law), simply because we have differing opinions to them. And really, have they ever existed in our bodies, have they ever known true suffering? The kind that annihilates joy and the ability to think without fear? No. But they are in a large part responsible for us feeling this way. And it is their words, their hand that moves the pen, or the needle, or the pill responsible for killing us. There is not a lot left to live for when your body, and every good feeling, is stolen from you. These drugs completely remove positive feelings. And these people come from a place of judgement, and interpretation. Our every movement or word spoken, an indentation for them to record and further interrogate our very self. Who we are becomes a symptom to drug.

But who sees this? No one, except the people who are fighting to put an end to these unhealthy and abhorrent systems, along with other survivors like me, who are trying to speak up, only to find themselves up against solid concrete walls, with people within these systems who believe in only their own methods of cruelty and harm.

It is not radical, or extreme, to want this pain and suffering to end. Psychiatry's very roots are in misogyny, brutality, coercion, control, and force. This much has not changed over the last one hundred years. Now instead of tying us to beds, they inject us with sedatives labelled under pseudonyms. Jargon of an education that sought to fit people into boxes, when really trauma doesn't work that way. It's easy to say we have a condition that was hereditary because then you don't have to deal with our feelings, or emotions, or even admit healing is possible. Weaponise a drug as a chemical straight jacket for the rest of our lives, then you never have to face our struggles. Just put us to sleep all day instead. With drugs that reduce the length of our lives by decades, and create numerous other negative effects on our health.

Because the fact is - yes, trauma effects the mind, but so does healing. And healing IS possible, just not with these people. These people who we are court ordered to talk to, and forced to submit to controlling us OR ELSE. They even make us sign pieces of paper to say we legally agree to the treatment or drugs. What a farce.

It is a carceral system, just like any prison. It only exists to rotate us through drugging and hospitalisation, and "community treatment orders." We never receive therapy - just distortion and judgement. We are never free. And our abusive families, who traumatised us in the first place, feed into this nicely. They are consulted at every stage, and are given decisions over our lives and freedoms, when it was these people that created such endless adversity in our lives to begin with. Why does no one see this? Why do the people that abused us get to make decisions for us. And why do we get told to just "forgive them," by those in the system? These people have not changed. They weaponise our "mental health" against us. In many cases, how we think and feel, or us being "emotionally unstable," is a direct correlation to their continuous abuse and how they are treating us - even as adults. My father is a narcissist and it is only in the last two years that I have gone no contact with him. He inflicted years of pain upon me. I was told to forgive and forget.

It is such ignorance, and if I might add; extremely condescending. We see the way you treat us, as if we don't deserve to make our own choices. As if we are too "sick" to form our own opinion - so we must be (not just) told what to do, but violently enforced to do what you ordain. Choosing to label us as disordered, when it was our families who pushed us to the point where we did infact break, and then these same people, are handed the exoneration to blame it all on a condition psychiatry says we were born with... - my father once said this explains how I was as a child. I was just a shy and hurt little girl who didn't want to hug her father because he was always angry, and scapegoated me for EVERYTHING that went wrong. I wasn't his perfect son, who could do no wrong - who he could toxically vent to and call his sister and mother bitches. A son who also no longer talks to him, because of his hatred and anger.

Lies to control us. That is all it is. An easy way out for them. And so many of us just slip into the mighty hole of the system, enslaved for a lifetime, or - and I am uncertain if this is any worse - as a result of what they've done to us, left to suffer and die. I have lived through a war with psychiatry and New Zealand's mental health system, and every day that I survive, is just as hard as the last. But I am a fighter, in many ways, excepting violence. It is others who are violent with me.

In all honesty it was extremely traumatic for me to write this, my body physically ached afterwards, I had to take a hot shower to take away some pain, and to feel calm. This blog came at a cost, but I am still glad it is written down, instead of trapped inside me.

[grelleswife]

GOD is this another thing like people thinking Jane was Angela again???

Hi, anon! If you’re referring to the current theory that the unknown child who grabs one of Snake’s snakes is Doll, I personally believe you’re comparing apples and oranges.

The similarities between Jane and Angela are largely superficial: Both happened to be devious, vaguely sinister maids with fair hair and complexions serving a creepy older gentleman who the Phantomhive household was investigating. However, despite her perceptiveness and competency as a fighter, Jane’s capabilities never seemed to verge on the supernatural. In addition to the lack of concrete evidence for the Jane = Angela theory, it doesn’t make much sense within Kuro’s broader framework. Why would a minor antagonist who only appeared during one of several different side quest arcs emerge as the final boss near the series’s conclusion? The buildup is woefully lacking.

Doll, on the other hand, poses an entirely different kettle of fish.

First, Yana’s been suspiciously reticent about the exact manner of her death. Sensei doesn’t shy away from graphic depictions of violence. When Agni was murdered, for example, she confronted us with an unflinching view of his lifeless, bloodied corpse, his back riddled with knives. Nor does she hesitate to show terrible things happening to children; though she spared us the full horrors, we were still subjected to the lurid details of the abuse and torture which the twins suffered at the hands of those cultists.

So why this abrupt cut to a black background as Doll charges towards O!Ciel, and the boy gives his demon a command?

One of the cardinal rules of fiction is that, if you don’t see a body, you generally can’t say for certain that a character’s dead…

However, to address @squirreltastic ‘s ask, I don’t believe that Doll survived this encounter…at least, not in the conventional sense. During our mutual freakout over the final panel of the raws, @bapydemonprincess and I discussed how it wouldn’t be in the earl’s best interests to keep her alive. Once she knew the truth—that their “friendship” was merely a ploy to infiltrate the circus and eliminate her family—Doll’s hatred and desire for vengeance would have been virtually impossible to appease. She literally screamed, “I’ll never, ever forgive you!” in Chapter 35. Since Sebastian must protect his McMeal at all costs, it would only be practical for him to neutralize this threat.

But remember who else was near the site of that burning manor?

Undertaker (and his zombified grandson ward). R!Ciel remained a work in progress at this point in the manga, since the mortician was still perfecting his bizarre doll project. And what better guinea pig than the corpse of another child not much older than R!Ciel? Assuming Sebastian killed Doll outside the manor, her body wouldn’t automatically have been consumed by the flames. Undertaker could easily swoop by the scene of the crime once O!Ciel and Sebastian left, pluck this low-hanging fruit, and whisk her corpse away to his lair for further experimentation.

Also, consider the above quote from Undertaker: “…I told him to hold each and every soul dear. Because you hold great power you gradually fail to understand the importance of things that cannot be recovered…you will realize that once it’s too late. How many times have I given you and the others the same warning?”

What better way to forcibly teach the young earl the true price of his sins and the inherent destructiveness of his actions (failing to “hold each and every soul dear”) than by literally raising up the ghosts from O!Ciel’s checkered past? We know from the earl’s severe PTSD episode in the Green Witch arc that he views Doll as one of the figures in his life who affected him the most profoundly. Having her return in some form or fashion would be immensely satisfying from a narrative perspective.

Moreover, this new arc would be the perfect time to bring Doll back into the picture because she could turn Snake against the Phantomhive household. Ever since he joined the ranks of the servants, Snake’s been a ticking time bomb because his cooperation is founded on a lie—namely, that his family is still alive and out there somewhere. If a reanimated Doll told him the truth, Snake would be devastated, and almost certainly lash out at the Phantomfam. Sounds like a tense and compelling conflict to me, especially since Finny is isolated with him at the orphanage.

Yana’s also given us at least one hint that Snake might go rogue in the Akuma 6 chapter, where his snakes combine into a massive serpent which Sebastian then must defeat. Might just be a silly gag…but it could also be foreshadowing of future enmity.

As I implied in this post (which I assume is what anon is referring to?) and as @midnight-in-town mentions here, it’s been established in canon that Doll is comfortable handling Snake’s snakes. In Chapter 28, she doesn’t hesitate to grab a potentially “deadly” snake to keep O!Ciel safe. Although I’m pretty sure we see a different snake (Wordsworth?) in Chapter 192, “Kid X” snatches him up without a shiver. It’s not a direct visual parallel, but certainly a striking one. I included the Chapter 28 cover in my post because I noticed that Doll is depicted with a serpent—likely due to her aforementioned role in wrangling the snake that got loose, but if Yana drew that as a breadcrumb hinting how her character would be reintroduced several arcs later, I just might lose my mind.

Several bloggers have already discussed how Kid X’s hair bears at least a passing resemblance to Freckles’, with longish bangs and a shaggy cut in the back, although it’s hard to say for certain because of the angle. The shirt Kid X is wearing also looks similar to her Freckles outfit. 🤔

However, since Yana loves to taunt us with cliffhangers, we can’t rule out the possibility that this character is someone else entirely. A few options include:

1. An ordinary kid who just picked up the snake out of innocent curiosity. They might even be friendly towards Finny and Snake, but inadvertently blow their cover if they bring up the snakes to one of the matrons.

2. A mortal (living) child who grows suspicious of our bois, develops animosity towards them, and snitches out of spite.

3. A child bizarre doll like Layla, who Undertaker left as a plant to keep an eye on things.

That’s all I have for now! Regardless of Kid X’s real identity, this chapter has left me hyped for the orphanage arc! 🤩

[youngbugandtonystank]

what's the difference between what wanda did to those people in wandavision and what tony did with ultron?

I have so many asks about this. Hate asks, and people wondering what’s going on. This is the only one I’m answering.

Both of them are responsible for their actions. I’ve seen people try and take away either Tony’s responsibility for that or Wanda’s engagement and accountability. 

In Tony’s case, the Ultron program was supposed to be a global peacekeeping program to protect the people, acting as a suit around the world to prevent events like the Battle of New York. He was doing it in the name of peace and safety. Tony was rightfully scared because he was the only one who knew what was coming. Wanda intentionally enhanced that fear in him and this drove him to create Ultron with Bruce. He has responsibility for it. Same as Bruce. He owns up to this, he took full responsibility and agreed that they needed to be regulated. 

Tony Stark: A few years ago, I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to mop up HYDRA... and then Ultron. My fault.

--

Tony Stark: There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys.

--

Tony Stark: That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stop manufacturing.

--

If people think he needs to be in jail for it, then I’m guessing the rest of the Avengers too since all of them have made mistakes and killed people too. As a matter of fact, after the events of Wandavision, I’m sure that Wanda should be in the Raft, but because she’s ‘a poor baby’ yall won’t think she deserves that. 

SPOILERS

It’s a big possibility that we don’t have all the info about what happened in Wandavision but we’re going to go with what we know so far. 

In Wanda’s case, she did it to appease her grief and pain, and I can understand why she would get to that point, she’s been through a lot and maybe she was about to lose her mind. Instead of recruiting Wanda after the Sokovia incident, they should’ve given this girl treatment for her mental health problems. She just lost her brother and passed through a very traumatic war zone, of course she needs assistance. Cap and Natasha were the ones responsible for her because they were training the ‘new’ avengers. Sam was with them and he used to be a counselor to veterans with PTSD. He could’ve helped Wanda with some of her traumas. As shown in the series, Wanda did the whole hex business before meeting Agatha, which means creating that little reality was all Wanda’s responsibility. Hayward and Agatha did exactly what Wanda did to Tony (and the avengers/other people) in AOU. They manipulated her and played with her emotional traumas. Hayward showed her Vision’s body parts and Agatha started to pull strings to know how Wanda did what she did and her real powers while orchestrating against her. 

Both of them have made mistakes. No one is better than the other. I don’t understand why some fans want to make someone responsible more than the other or blame one character for the other. While Wanda gave Tony that vision and pushed his self-destructive side to obsess over saving the world, he did create Ultron, what Tony didn’t predict was that the robot was going to corrupt itself. Same with Wanda, while Agatha and Hayward contributed to her trauma, she held hostage and isolated 3,892 people to create her perfect reality, ripping these people away from their identities and free will to fit her own fantasy. Don’t turn this into ‘omg poor her, it’s Tony fault that she’s this way'. I can’t believe I have to repeat this but you don’t see Peter Parker obsessively looking for the person who manufactured the gun instead of the criminal who actually killed Uncle Ben. Ridiculous that I have to repeat this example. 

Oh and about Vision’s body (damn yall have a gift to turn everything into Tony’s fault for some reason). I can’t believe some of you think Tony (while grieving for 5 years) would give Vision to Hayward. You’re either pulling stuff out of your asses or you didn’t pay attention to the show. Maria Rambeau founded and was the Director of S.W.O.R.D. In 2018 (when IW happened), this is where she came up with a new policy within S.W.O.R.D. to ground snapped agents in case they ever returned. Maria was diagnosed with cancer, then two years later (2020), she passed away. Then, Hayward was promoted to Director of S.W.O.R.D., in his first years (2020-2022) he refocused the organization’s work from extraterrestrial operations to robotics, nanotechnology and artificial intelligence, etc. There, that was the 5 years. Then in 2023 it’s when he started project Cataract, which revolved around rebuilding Vision as a sentient weapon. Tony was dead when this happened. How come yall don’t get this part? I don’t understand, do you really think his dead corpse signed some papers to give Vision to those people? LMAO

Instead of thinking Tony would give up Vision just like that, think (possibilities):

Maria was the head of S.W.O.R.D., she might have just been keeping his body safe without doing anything with him. Maybe she trusted Hayward and he, obviously, betrayed her because he’s turning her organization into something else after her death. 

One of the Sokovia Accords regulations states that the use of technology to bestow individuals (the term ‘enhanced individual’ in this book is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities) with innate capabilities is strictly regulated by the government, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology. Vision signed those accords ('I'm saying there may be a casualty. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight...oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand’) The Avengers were no longer be a private organization and they operate under the supervision of the United Nations. This means they (UN) were the ones that referred Vision’s body to S.W.O.R.D., to a trustworthy leader, Maria. 

Vision died in Wakanda, not in New York. Tony was missing for 22 days after the snap, the rest of the avengers should’ve taken responsibility for his body.  

Why is it always Tony’s fault but never consider that other parties are also involved in this? 

I want to address some other asks with this one. I know some of you are angry because people are starting to blame Tony all over again, so a few things to remember:

Tony did not create the Accords. The Accords were the result of all the collective actions the Avengers have done in their superhero careers. All of them have made mistakes and the collateral damage of that was taken into consideration by the government and 117 countries around the world. He signed the accords because he knew that he could amend them with the support of the rest of the avengers and he knew about Thanos (something big was coming). 

Obadiah Stane (it’s so bizarre for me seeing that some people don’t know who this guy is, I’m guessing that the people who are watching Wandavision are too young to remember or didn’t watch the Iron Man movies at all which is highly probable) was the one selling weapons to the wrong people, not Tony. Obadiah was the CEO of Stark industries and became second-in-command for two decades. He grew jealous of Tony and began cooperating with the Ten Rings in Afghanistan, selling them Stark Industries weapons illegally. Imagine blaming all of it on Tony when Obadiah basically murdered thousands only because he felt a little green. If someone who you trust (he had no reasons to doubt Obadiah since he was like a second father-figure for him) does something behind your back (take into consideration that people like Pepper; who was Tony’s assistant and had knowledge of all of Tony’s activities and responsibilities, Rhodey; who was the liaison between the military in the department of acquisitions and Stark Industries, and Happy Hogan; who was his personal bodyguard and Head of Security of Stark Industries, didn’t know what Stane was doing either), how are you going to know about it? Tony trusted him. And when he realized what was going on he immediately stopped all of it. He worked hard to be better and people overlook that because they want other characters to look better. 

Don’t act like Tony was the only one assisting the military. All of the avengers assisted in one way or another. Natasha (who used to be an assassin) was in the Red Room, trained in the Black Widow Program in association with Leviathan and the Soviet Armed Forces, served for KGB, etc. Bruce Banner used to work for the United States government and was commissioned to create a super serum for them. Same goes with the rest, Sam, Clint, etc. Steve Rogers was a soldier lmaoooooooooooooo like, what happened to Tony with Obadiah happened to Steve with SHIELD/HYDRA in TWS. He trusted the people working in there (SHIELD), served for them, did missions for them and as soon as he found out what they were doing behind his back he turned against them. 

Knowing all of this, how is Tony always the villain for yall? I’m guessing because Tony’s popularity in the MCU, but still, aren’t yall tired of not understanding the plot and having people repeat it to you constantly? Watch the movies if you want to understand the franchise, people. Stop following the crowd. 

Also, Wanda is not a kid, she’s a 35 year old woman in Wandavision, she was 26 in AOU and 27 in CW. Hardly a child. Tony had almost her same age (38) when he realized Obadiah was selling illegal weaponry behind his back. The only reason people don’t fully forgive Tony is because 1. he’s a man and 2. he’s a billionaire. Even if Wanda was poor she still killed and hurt many people over the course of her life. Stop trying to make Tony the villain only to downplay Wanda’s actions. 

Both have killed people, both have made mistakes. They’re both responsible for them. 

[sladewilsonisanantihero]

The Original Intent of Terra and how Deathstroke got the bad end of the stick for it

Okay, Deathstroke Children (Idk what to call you guys because fellow Deathstrokers would end this conversation immediately), I found the time to do this, so let's get to it!

(Note: My original laptop broke with my comics, so I have no images to spare, so it will be sourced. Another note: Many words will be in bold. Partly so that for those reading will not lose track.)

But if tl;dr:

Cold Hard Truth: Everyone from Terra fans to Deathstroke fans needs to stop seeing these characters as real people.

Original Terra wasn't human trafficked or whatever sob story people want to label her with. The CREATORS intended her to be written as Evil without the mental illness and to die for the shock value. They had Raven, The Literal Empath, spell this out in Judas Contract. As for Deathstroke's involvement, he was shoved into her creation story, and Marv Wolfman himself recognized his mistake in doing that.

And for those calling Deathstroke a nazi, Original Terra had nazi-like beliefs where common people should fear and serve them or be killed off just because they're 'special'. Again, BLUNTLY stated in the Judas Contract. So if you're going to call Deathstroke a Pedophile, we'll call OG Terra a Neo-Nazi. (But I highly advice for Deathstroke Fans to not start that kind of war, but I had to say what I had to say.)

Don't get me wrong. (Hopefully all) Deathstroke fans know that their relationship was wrong just like Marv Wolfman, and we do not support pedophiles! But Slade isn't a pedophile! He was never intended to be written as one! It was a mistake made on many levels and should be rewritten like OG Terra's Evil Neo-Nazi-like personality, instead of being thrown into cancel culture.

Also for Deathstroke fans, don't get upset over their content and begin any argument emotionally. Just enjoy whatever good content we can get and support it if you can. Hopefully we'll get our Deathstroke movies and so on!

So I've briefly chatted with one of you over the matter with Terra/Tara Markov and how upsetting it is about how people refer to Slade Wilson as a Pedophile. That is a serious accusation that would make it very uncomfortable to argue about since it can easily make it seem like we justify the actions of pedophiles, and that we are part of pedophile culture that does exist in social media space.

AND WE SHOULDN'T, AND FOR ANTIS READING THIS WE WON'T.

But there was a time when I used to have a blog called friendlyremindersofsladewilson, where I defended Slade and put the blame all on Terra. I was 14 at the time, and looking back at it, I am not proud of it because I realized now as an adult how I defended it for most of the wrong reasons, but still stand with the fact that SLADE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE.

And since this took place when I was so young, it compelled me to write this post because I fear some of you are really young, too, and may end up in this regretful position.

So to make it clear, what Slade had been written to do is a crime, and we should acknowledge it, but not in the way as if it was a crime acted out in real life.

What I mean by that is that there's a clear separation between fiction and reality where one isn't real (Duh!). In this case, it's about the mistakes made between fiction and reality. In reality, mistakes made by the person responsible is on the person. In fiction, mistakes made is dependent on the creator's intent, and sometimes the creators can make mistakes themselves.

Most notably Terra's:

Tara Markov/Terra was created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez.

In Marv Wolfman's literal website, he stated in his online "What the-?" column:

"Which leads to Terra. That was easy. George and I wanted a Titan who betrayed the others. we also wanted to play against every reader conception of who characters are. George and I knew her whole story before we began and we knew she would die. We set the story up with her trying to destroy the Statue of Liberty to show she was the bad girl, but we knew if George drew her as a cute kid everyone would simply assume she would be ‘turned’ from the dark side because that’s the way it was always done which is why that wouldn’t be the way we did it. Tara was insane an stayed that way right until the moment she died. By the way, she IS dead. I don’t know what other writers will do with her – if anything – but if they want to honor the original series they will leave her dead. The Terra from Team Titans was – as stated – some kid the villain kidnapped and physically and mentally altered her into looking and acting like the original. But she was NEVER the real Terra."

And it should also be noted that he stated before this statement that:

"...Only mistake I think I made with him is having him have a physical relationship with the 16 year old Tara Markov. That was wrong."

So Marv Wolfman himself recognizes that what he did was a mistake, but his intent on Terra was never to write a victim.

And quick note: Insanity isn't written as a mental illness here. It's written like how many villains are labeled as insane for having skewed beliefs that deviates from the common good.

Terra truly had some nazi-like beliefs where she BELIEVED that everyone who wasn't 'special' like her and the Teen Titans deserved to be treated like shit because they weren't 'special' like them. She bluntly said it herself in the Judas Contract.

As for George Perez's comment in an interview I found in this website:

"GEORGE: Tara was just a cute little girl, although I based a little bit of that on my wife Carol’s sister, Barbara. A little upturned nose… Barbara does not have the teeth that Tara had. I wanted Tara to be a girl who looked normal. Which also means her death caught everyone even more offguard.

Tara, she was made to be killed; she served her purpose. That was it.

ANDY: You didn ‘t get any attachment to Tara?

GEORGE: No, because I knew we were going to kill her. So I deliberately used all the things to make her as likeable and cute as possible, so people would never believe we were going to kill a sixteen-year-old. And she was a sixteen-year-old sociopath. She was one of our cleverest gimmicks; we deliberately created her in order to lead everyone astray. So we couldn’t build any fondness for her, ’cause we knew full well what her whole motive for existence was. Her existence was basically to keep the stories interesting; we were tossing a curve that no one would have expected.

ANDY: You didn ‘t even love to hate her, huh?

GEORGE: No. I loved handling her, because she was such a good idea. But she was an idea. Not as much a person. She was there to show exactly how much their humanity can be one thing they have to be careful about, the Teen Titans have to be careful about. . . they can be too trusting, or their own weaknesses can be used against them."

Terra was supposed to be a representation of An Evil Betrayal of Trust and That Not All Cute Girls Are Good.

But they took it too far by making her sleep with Deathstroke because they wanted to truly make her look evil by literally sleeping with the enemy. Y'know because this was the 80s, and women having sex was an evil act back then, and that point of view has somewhat or barely improved 40 years later.

Deathstroke was just shoved into this idea, and Marv tried and perhaps failed at trying to undo this mistake with his talk with Beastboy (Tales of the Teen Titans issue #55) and before his confrontation from Wintergreen (Deathstroke (1991); Chapter 35).

So just as I had stated at the top in the tl;dr, it was a mistake made on many levels and should have been rewritten out just as many had done with OG Terra's true personality, and be done with it.

Random person: "He still slept with a 16-year-old."

And it's not that hard to make other heroes and villains do this mistake. Because again, it's all fiction. Deathstroke's fictional. As in Not Real, so we could literally undo the damage by rewriting this mistake. Or make it worse by making Terra the rapist by her using her Earth powers to bind Slade down and force him, and you can't deny that it's plausible. Because she's fictional. Anything can happen. So why didn't Slade tell Beastboy whether he slept with her or not, maybe it was because he really didn't want to but he was forced into it. And that's just something you can't dump on a very emotional man who was trying to kill you a moment ago.

ALL THE POSSIBILITIES BECAUSE IT'S FICITIONAL!

But ANYWAY, I went way too dark there.

Ending on a brighter note: Personally to all Deathstroke fans, please value your mental health, please don't start any arguments that'll compromise it, and continue supporting Deathstroke in whatever way you can!

[sanjisock]

more than words

50 words; 50 sentences

ao3

#01 - Motion

A spinning kick, a swing of blade — the two meet and hit but don’t hurt, and Nami sighs exasperatedly at such a pathetic display of a mating dance.

#02 - Cool

Zoro stands his ground as his enemy — finally, finally — falls unceremoniously on his back, unconscious, and Sanji thinks for a moment that the sight of Zoro — wild and victorious and ready to take on the world — looks kind of, maybe, slightly cool.

  #03 - Young

Brook sees the two — dying to die for each other, the weight of their friends’ lives pulling down their shoulders — and he thinks too many people forget how young they still are.

  #04 - Last

The Cook is the last person Zoro would consider lending a hand in a fight — “who would want to work together with that dumbass anyway,” he lies whenever anyone asks, and doesn’t admit that it’s because he trusts Sanji’s ability to stand his ground, wholly and fully.

  #05 - Wrong

Sanji knows Zoro, like him, understands better than most — that this nakama thing isn’t just something you’d die for, but something you’d kill for, too.

  #06 - Gentle

Sanji manages to catch Kitetsu before it rolls off from the deck during a storm, and in that moment, Zoro knows, from the reverent way he regards the swords in his hands, that this isn’t the first time the Cook has wielded one.

  #07 - One

“Calm down, Marimo,” Sanji says with a dismissive wave of his hand when Zoro asks about the sword a few days later, “I’m not about to take your place as the ship’s swordsman; a cook doesn’t use his hands to fight, and I had a terrible teacher anyways.”

  #08 - Thousand

“I’m worth two thousand men,” Zoro grumpily says, almost sulking, and Nami can’t resist patting his head like she would to a little boy pulling the pigtail of a girl he has a crush on.

  #09 - King

You’re like the prince of Dumbass Kingdom, Zoro says, and it takes Sanji everything in him not to blurt out, Dumbass Kingdom sounds about right; wait ‘till you see the fucking king.

  #10 - Learn

Watching Sanji converse fluently with a couple of tourists in a Northern language, Zoro wonders when he will ever stop learning something new about Sanji — or if he ever will, at all.

  #11 - Blur

When Zoro finally comes to, the wounds from Bartholomeow Kuma is muted by Chopper’s medicine, a dull throb at the back of his consciousness; but the sharp pain against his heart feels raw still, visceral and razor-sharp, tucked alongside the ache of Sanji’s sacrifice.

#12 - Wait

“Wait,” he manages to croak out before Sanji flees the room, the word spilling out unbidden; he isn’t quite sure why, but he knows that he wants the Cook to stay.

  #13 - Change

“Have some fucking decency ,” Sanji yells, throwing a shirt at Zoro’s direction; the brute has been walking around the ship bare-chested like an eyesore ever since they entered the summer island, and Sanji is just trying to do everyone a favor — and definitely not because there’s a different kind of heat pooling at the pit of his stomach.

#14 - Command

Robin watches the two in amusement — Zoro could have easily refused to be Sanji’s pack mule, and she can hear him grumbling about it still; and yet, here they are, once again, together at the island’s marketplace.

#15 - Hold

Sanji is rough around the edges, bristling at the slightest touch; Zoro knows he needs to be gentle, but he doesn’t quite remember the last time he held something that isn’t a hilt of a sword, without meaning to hurt . It’s a learning curve. 

  #16 - Need

Sanji knows Zoro is a dumbass, but it takes a special kind of stupid to think he would never be good enough for Sanji, when he’s all that Sanji has ever needed.

#17 - Vision

Zoro never regrets losing his eye, but he wishes, sometimes, he could still take in the sight of Sanji with an unimpaired vision, just to see more of him.

  #18 - Attention

“You’re starting a fight, Marimo?” Sanji growls, voice low and dangerous, and Zoro thinks, yes, yes, anything to get you to look at me.

  #19 - Soul

He loves the kid like a brother, but sometimes Zoro hates how Luffy can easily see past his gruff words and feigned ignorance; the way Luffy only needs to take one look at him to guess, “you’re worried about Sanji, aren’t you?”

  #20 - Picture

He carries around everyone’s bounty posters, Sanji tells himself, and tries not to think too hard about how the only one he kept in his breast pocket is Zoro’s, folded neatly against his heart.

  #21 - Fool

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done so far,” Sanji says when they part, lips still tingling from their earlier kiss, because Zoro’s love is fierce and consuming and Sanji knows, ever since he was just a kid with the iron mask, that he doesn’t deserve any of this.

  #22 - Mad

“Don’t you ever say that kind of shit again,” Zoro snarls, slamming the wall beside Sanji’s head, his voice trembling with a kind of anger Sanji has never seen him with before — frustrated, desperate. “You’re important to me, Cook.” 

  #23 - Child

Grow up and cast your dreams away, Sanji tells himself every day, the voice ringing in his ears; you stopped being a child deserving of a dream the moment you chained Zeff down to the ground.

  #24 - Now

Grow up and cast your dreams away, Sanji wants to tell himself, but the voice stutters, drowned out by the sight of the kid bleeding on the deck of Baratie — he’s a swordsman, too, acknowledged by none other than Dracule Mihawk himself — but a kid still, throwing himself headfirst towards the case of his dreams, steps unweighted by regrets.

  #25 - Shadow

Zoro doesn’t know which is worse — Sanji, forever running away from the shadow his brothers cast; or Zoro, chasing after someone who is no longer around to leave behind a shadow anymore.

  #26 - Goodbye

After Whole Cake Island, there’s a period of time where Zoro would follow Sanji around the ship like a lost puppy, unwilling to let the Cook out of his sight; Usopp definitely didn’t expect Zoro to have such a cute side, and crouches over his new invention to hide his smile.

  #27 - Hide

“We’re not doing that here,” Sanji hisses, and forces himself not to laugh at the pout on Zoro’s face; the galley might be secluded enough, but they’re still on the enemy ship’s galley.

  #28 - Fortune

It is annoying, the way Sanji keeps reminding Zoro that he could have collected Mihawk’s bounty and lived the rest of his life in wealth; especially when Zoro would trade any riches in the world just to stay by the Cook’s side.

  #29 - Safe

It catches Zoro off guard when Sanji starts talking about his mother; it’s a short anecdote, a single happy memory, but Zoro can tell by the way Sanji tells it — guarded and hesitant, like he wants to keep the words close and safe — that he has never shared it with anyone else before.

  #30 - Ghost

Usopp starts shaking like a leaf as soon as they enter the abandoned, dilapidated house, and Sanji gently tells him, sometimes the worst ghost is the one you create yourself; Zoro feels the weight of Wado on his hip, and agrees.

  #31 - Book

“I don’t need this,” Zoro grumbles with a blush, pushing the book back into Nami’s hands, trying hard to ignore Nami’s laughter and the words ROMANCE FOR DUMMIES emblazoned on the book’s jacket.

  #32 - Eye

Shusui sinks into the man’s stomach, all the way to the hilt, and Zoro thinks of the way Sanji curled into himself as the man landed a lucky hit on the cook’s hand. An eye for an eye.

  #33 - Never

“This is my first time,” Zoro whispers, head ducking away as he feels his face flush at the admission; but Sanji’s hand rests on his cheek, encouraging, and he can feel the curve of Sanji’s smile as their lips meet and Sanji replies, “it’s mine, too.”

  #34 - Sing

Luffy cheers when Zoro and Sanji comes into view, and he lets them take on the next batch of enemies; a good fight is always fun, but watching Zoro and Sanji fight is even more so — like watching a dance that only those two know the melody to.

  #35 - Sudden

“What, are we supposed to be surprised?” Nami says, barely looking up from the map she’s working on; Sanji sputters, face redder than the tomatoes he served during breakfast, and Nami feels almost bad for him.

  #36 - Stop

“But we — Zoro and I — how did you know?” Sanji asks, and promptly stops asking questions when he realizes the rest of the crew aren’t surprised either; who could blame them, when his and Zoro’s sexual tension can be seen from a mile away.

  #37 - Time

Sanji knows they have to break apart soon, just to breathe, but right now all he cares about is to taste as much of Zoro as possible — he has waited two years for this, and it has been two years too long.

  #38 - Wash

They have their fair share of fighting — and how, considering the amount of repairs Usopp has to do for Merry just from their petty fights alone — but what the crew doesn’t know is that they also have this thing, this quiet thing, just him and the Cook and a stack of dirty plates between them.

  #39 - Torn

“In retrospect,” Robin observes, “dressing up our dear cook in a maid uniform would not only lower the enemy’s firepower, but also ours, considering how distracted our swordsman has clearly become.”

  #40 - History

“Why do you keep him around, mister?” The kid asks, pointing at the old swordsman with three swords and an eye scar by the peer; Sanji laughs, pats the kid on the head, and says, almost wistfully — “you can say we have some history.”

  #41 - Power

Sanji tugs at Zoro’s sleeve, and Zoro follows suit despite his complaints — Sanji thinks, distantly, how much of an honor it is, to have so much control over such a powerful man.

  #42 - Bother

“I didn’t have enough time to make this three-tier ice cream cake for our lovely Nami-san and Robin-chan because you distracted me!” Sanji says with a hard jab of a finger against Zoro’s chest, and Zoro thinks, good .

  #43 - God

Zoro does not believe in gods, but there’s a hymn of a noise when Zoro presses his lips against the crook of Sanji’s neck, the hallelujah of the world breaking apart as their bodies move together, and he thinks, close enough .

  #44 - Wall

 Zoro slams his fist into the wall of Polar Tang, and is taken aback by the depth of his own frustration; he knows Luffy and the others will get Sanji back from Big Mom’s place, but it unsettles him still, the way Sanji hides himself under layers of pretenses when Zoro has bared so much of himself to the Cook in return.

  #45 - Naked

“What the fuck was that for , Mosshead?!” Sanji shrieks, justifiably furious, leg raised and on fire after Zoro sliced his tray into two without preamble; Zoro can’t exactly tell the Cook he did it because he was too surprised at the sight of Sanji in a swimming trunk and nothing else.

  #46 - Drive

Why Zoro , people sometimes ask, but the answer is easy to Sanji — nobody drives him crazy the way Zoro does, and is that not what true love feels like?

  #47 - Harm

Zoro knows Sanji will be furious ; but as he faces Kuma, knowing at least the Cook is out of harm’s way, he knows he would do this a hundred times over, a thousand times over, a million times over.

  #48 - Precious

Sanji is sitting by the corner of the infirmary, face pale with red-rimmed eyes, and Zoro thinks he’s never had that, before — people who would weep for him, knowing that he is more than dried scars and calloused skin.

  #49 - Hunger

This thing we have is dangerous, Sanji tells him, but Zoro doesn’t care — he already has a craving, the same way he needs a booze when it’s been too long, except he thinks that this vice will surely kill him.

  #50 - Believe

This isn’t faith; this is the truth, Zoro’s truth, the same way he knows he will become the Greatest — Sanji will find that elusive sea of his, and Zoro will stay with him until it is the last thing he can do.

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

In recognition of 200 followers.....

I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.

Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!

1. "I wish I had longer to love you."

2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."

3. "I will kill you if you die on me."

4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."

5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."

6. "The kitten's name is Max."

7. "I'm going to get a beer."

8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."

9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."

10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."

11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."

12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."

13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."

14. "I can't carry you!"

15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."

16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."

17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."

18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."

19. "You are insane."

20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."

21. "What is love?"

22. "I don't get the function of hugs."

23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."

24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."

25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."

26. "Sing with me."

27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."

28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."

29. "Don't give me hope."

30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."

31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."

32. "You created me."

33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."

34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."

35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."

36. "Power exhaustion sucks."

37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*

38. "Let me feed you Hero."

39. "You do not have AC?!"

40. "Villain you have a fever."

41. "Am I drunk?"

42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."

43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."

44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."

45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"

46. "She needs surgery."

47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"

48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."

49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."

50. "There's only one bed."

51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."

52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"

53. "You are a peacock Hero."

54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"

55. "I wasn't always like this."

56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."

57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."

58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."

59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."

60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."

61. "Gag her."

62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."

63. "Talk now or she dies."

64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."

65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."

66. "The police are coming."

67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"

68. "I love you." "I don't."

69. "Hug me just one last time."

70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."

71. "They won't be able to walk again."

72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."

73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"

74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."

75. "I'm really tired..."

76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."

77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."

78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."

79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."

80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."

81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"

82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."

83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."

85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."

86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."

87. "An injection of valium will do it."

88. "There's no anesthesia."

89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"

90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."

91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."

92. "Join me and we can be great."

93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."

94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."

95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."

96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."

97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."

98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."

99. "I know everything about you."

100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."

101. "What did you give me?"

102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."

103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."

104. "How hard did you punch me?"

105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."

106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."

107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."

108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."

109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."

110. "Hugs are overrated."

111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."

112. "I wish we could turn back time."

113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."

114. "Make a wish." "That you live."

115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."

116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."

117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."

118. "Supervillain is in danger!"

119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."

120. "My head is killing me."

121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."

122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."

123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."

124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"

125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."

126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."

127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"

128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."

129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."

130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."

131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."

132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."

133. "Just shut up and listen!"

134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."

135. "She turned it around... at the end."

136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."

137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."

138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."

139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."

140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."

141. "If only it was that easy."

142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"

143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."

144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."

145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."

146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"

147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."

148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."

149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."

150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."

151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."

152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."

153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."

154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."

155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."

156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."

157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"

158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."

159. "I formally apologize."

160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."

161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."

162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."

163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"

164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."

165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."

166. "Say your goodbyes."

167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."

168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"

169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"

170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"

171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."

172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."

173. "We have a breach!"

174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"

175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."

176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."

177. "Don't overuse your powers."

178. "This is just an unfortunate event."

179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."

180. "His fever is rising."

181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."

182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."

183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."

184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."

185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."

186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."

187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."

188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."

189. "This is for your own good, I promise."

190. "I'm cold."

191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."

192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"

193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."

194. "I want a kitten."

195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."

196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."

197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."

198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."

199. "Life is too short for pleasures."

200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."

[yuusaris]

Tag Game - Tag People You Want To Know Better

got tag-sniped by @justapalspal to talk about my favorite subject -

mmmmmmmmME ~

Favourite time of the year: I like the in-between seasons like Spring and Fall. Harvest and new blooms y'know? Best temperature, I can go cute or cozy, all the fun holidays are around there.

Comfort foods: I love a good udon or age tofu at any time of day, but I always aaalllwaaayyys go for some form of chocolate when I'm feeling down. I'm a big foodie, though, so also on the roulette of Make Yuu Comfy is a good, and I mean good. Burger.

Do you collect anything: Okay, so when I was a kid, I collected porcelain dolls and Tinkerbell snowglobes (A thing I weirdly had a good number of), but had to pack both away when I moved in with my fiansband. Nowadays, MTG or YGO cards are kiiiind of the closest thing I got. I'd like to have a cool collection of like, rocks or fan-merch, but money is money and I've got about 35 years until retirement, sooooo....

Favourite drink: Tea. I drink so much tea. You don't even know how much- my mother. Got me a 1700 miligram loose leaf electric tea kettle for Christmas last year, and I have been brewing anywhere between one to three pots a daaayyy. I will have a kidney problem. I don't care. I've got a nice stash of loose leaf tea - I'm not even saying this just cuz Pal replied, I just - honest to god have so much tea. Yet I keep losing tea cuz I keep brewing large pots of it. I have a SipsBy susbscription.

Currently, I gotta give it up for the Buckland Tea Blend in particular, it's such a stunning Earl Grey, the bergamot flavor balances pretty perfectly with the raspberries and lemon peel and lavender, it's just. Honest to God, top-tier tea.

I would also be remiss to not plug Pleasures of Tea, of which I know and am pretty chummy with the owner of. I have her house blends, I learned all my looseleaf tea stuff from her, and every time I'm in the area, I stockpile whatever I can get my hands on, like my Golden Monkey black or Yunan golden curls, she has a stellar peach oolong, tung ting - I love all her teas, honest to god. Just.

Oh, and this Dark Pearl oolong from Cleveland tea lab? To die for.

Favourite music artists: MCR defined my life as a child - I wrote a whole Vampire fic titled after one of their songs, and wrote a terrible songfic with another - both of which could be released should I screw up a Frenzy - but I'm one of those people that listens to a few songs and says I like the artist. I like a handful of DemonDice/AJR/Saint Motel/Calliope Mori songs, for example, but I don't listen to everything or seek new ones out. New ones just kinda happen to me, y'know?

Current favourite songs: I have literally named my hanahaki fic after the last full line of Ijimekko (Bully) by Calliope Mori, so that's been on repeat. And, like I said, I haaaaave been listening to Horse Soldier, Horse Soldier by Corb Lund because my Zorc-writing brain is weird and I made a post about my Zorc song choices. The other two songs circling my brain like a whirlpool are Hell's Coming With Me thanks to that tkb vine being so kickass and World's Smallest Violin because AJR can do a catchy tune, goddamnit, but kids can ya lighten up a little???

But also also? Both the Brittle Bones Nicky songs because big TKb feels, bruv.

Favourite fics: I'm gunna assume you don't mean of my own creation, which means Different Form Different Time and Body Life are out of the running.

I've said, I've said, I will contionue to say forever, love makes monsters of us all, heed the tags, it's such a perfect perfect show of Yami Bakura's care for his host, even if we never get it from his POV, it's absolutely fascinating and tasty and pulpy.

This... is an Owl House fanfic, but I found it doing a Review exchange on the fanfic subreddit, Live To Serve and, honest to God, every fic this person writes is fluff gold I was such a sucker for how cute this is! It's so simple but so good!

Oh! Oh! Help yourself to seconds (and thirds), there is not enough Chat/shipping (slashed so this isn't in the tag, but it's Yusaku and Shima) and it's just - so sweet. So cute. "I'm a bi king", you fuckin are, Naoki, you funky dude, i love ya. Pain Shared, same thing, love that Chat, love those boys, they're perfect together and they're gunna live in a modest home in Den City suburbs and raise some robots together.

Yada yada Last Puzzle yada yada Sugar, yada yada something written by firetrap, I got all those tender classics under my belt.

Ah, but to make this wrapped up, also gunna push Ateb' Men Alezl, Keep The Light Shining, and my husbands very very cute Murderbot fanfic a moment of respite. it's adorable. It's perfect. I couldn't ask for cuter Murderbot and ART togetherness.

Tagging: ....isn't working right now. For some reason.

BUT

@nightingalejune @ladymdc @championofdogs @ninjam117 @isisishtar and @millenniumringg

and my usual targets of @tepperzz @corvidcorgii and @fourdollarwordss

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Legends (2019) Full Review

My review of the first 30 episodes of the drama can be found here. 

This is more of a rant than a review. The drama should have wrapped up at episode 35. I was able to tolerate it up to episode 42 when the wedding was, but by episode 48 it’s a total mess. 

If only this scene was as epic as the picture makes it look. But alas, this was just a dream sequence, and by this point in the finale, I was already bored and scrolling through instagram on my phone. If only they really did have a love-hate relationship. But this is an angst-free drama. 

Inconsistent character arcs

The FL and ML have become incredibly weak, both in terms of abilities and personality. The changes just don’t make sense for their characters. 

Zhao yao is no longer the badass she once was, and I’m actually fine with that. Moving away from her demoness persona is part of her growth. BUT, she no longer has a goal in the drama (except when she finds out that Mo Qing has an inner demon. Then, her goal becomes finding a way to expel the demon). But in the last quarter of the drama, she doesn’t really do anything of importance. She lost her sword, but she doesn’t actively go and find it. Instead, Mo Qing and Jiang Wu are the ones who took initiative to hunt it down for her. And when Lin Zi Yu got away with it, she doesn’t bother thinking about finding her sword again?? I mean girl, you lost your sword. Your only weapon. Why is that not at the top of your list of priorities? Is this the same FL who had risked it all for the Wan Jun sword? 

(I miss the demoness)

Her tolerance level for things that annoy her is just so out of character. Zhao yao used to be someone who always fought back against anything she didn’t like. But when it comes to Jiang Wu, she seems to have unlimited tolerance for him. Yes, he saved her, but owing him does not mean letting him be a menace. Like when Jiang Wu sucked the life energy out of Ah Dai. All she did was try to restrain Mo Qing from attacking Jiang Wu, but she didn’t spring forward to prevent Jiang Wu from killing Ah Dai. I mean, the cause of Mo Qing’s rage was Ah Dai dying. Shouldn’t you go address the root of the problem? Instead, she just sits and stares and lets Jiang Wu kill Ah Dai instead of doing something. And then there’s the scene in the library when she’s asleep, but Mo Qing is wrestling with his inner demon, and then the Wan Jun sword kills the 2 guards on duty. She just sleeps through the entire thing. Wasn’t she once the most feared conqueror/demoness? Isn’t she a warrior? How can your senses not be alert when there’s so much ruckus around you? Someone on MDL said that she became a glorified baby sitter for the ML, and while I don’t agree that it’s as extreme as that, I can see their point. All that Zhao yao does after the wedding is try to reign in Mo Qing to prevent him from going into full-on demon mode. She holds him back, tries to calm him and soothe him, rinse and repeat.

Speaking of Mo Qing, his current personality is just rage and jealousy. At first, it was kinda endearing seeing him jealous, but soon his entire arc was just about him being consumed by jealousy. The writers try to justify it by saying that he’s always had low self-esteem and been unconfident about himself because of his upbringing, and the growing demon energy inside him is exacerbating these thoughts, making him more unlike himself, but you’re telling me that everything that he and Zhao yao had gone through together was all for naught? This would have made sense 5 years ago, but we’ve seen that he has greatly matured since becoming sect leader. During the earlier episodes, he was able to see right through Zhao yao’s mask. He teased her, flirted with her, scolded her, and basically proved he’s her equal in every way, and he did it all with easy confidence. And now suddenly, all of that growth reverses, and he’s insecure and sensitive again. This character progression just doesn’t make sense in the context of everything that’s happened. I would have loved to have seen more of the introverted and unconfident Mo Qing at the beginning of the drama. But instead, we only got a handful of scenes before that part of his character arc was cut short and we skip ahead 5 years later and then another 5 years later to when he’s the sect leader. There was honestly no purpose for Mo Qing’s suffering. He just suffered for the sake of suffering. In other xianxia dramas, characters suffered for a purpose. It was a price they had to pay in order to protect someone they love. But this suffering is just pointless. It does nothing for this character arc. And they kept replaying the same montage of him sleeping on the dragon. As if it’s not already clear from the last 20 episodes that he’s being haunted by his father’s demon. 

Villains and supporting characters

I didn’t really care for the villains? Luo Mingxuan is still alive, but doesn’t do anything until the last 5 episodes. I eyeroll whenever Lin Zi Yu is onscreen. Jiang Wu is the only one who’s interesting and he serves as comedic relief.  

And then there are all the unnecessary deaths. It’s like they’re killing off all the good characters one by one. What was the point of killing off the doctor? He was the only character who could scold both Zhao yao and Mo Qing. The drama felt so empty without him. 

But on a good note, I really liked most of the supporting characters, from Zhiyan to Shi Qi to Ah Rong to Gu Hanguang. They were also the most consistent characters in the drama. 

On a bad note, the drama spent too much time on the backstories of supporting characters. I did not care to watch Suruo mourn Luo Mingxuan and remembering how they fell in love, and this happens for pretty much all the couples in the drama. It’s because Zhao yao and Mo Qing have a very simple romantic arc that’s resolved very early on, so the writers had to throw in fillers to drag out the drama. And the consequence is that our leads end up getting not enough screen time. 

The final 2 episodes

Oh boy. The last 2 episodes were a hot mess. In the final battle, everyone kept attacking and stabbing Luo Mingxuan, but he just won’t die?? He’s like Wolverine. He just comes back stronger. It just kept dragging on and on, and I completely lost interest. And I felt bad for Xu Kai. He was standing on the sidelines for most of the battle, just watching and shooting worried faces at Zhao yao. I hate to say he was useless, but it just felt like the writers did him dirty. Even Jiany Wu, who had already died by that point, was given a brief re-appearance. While Mo Qing, the ML, was forced to sit out on the action. 

I’m also so over the will-he-won’t-he be evil plot. I keep saying this but I’ll say it again. It. Just. Keeps. Dragging. I’ve watching longer dramas, but this one felt to go on forever. We get it. You’re being tortured by your inner demon, but love will conquer all. 

The editing is also weird? Some of the scenes aren’t in chronological order, and there’s no separation between dream sequences and reality. I also never liked the preview at the beginning of each episode. I also hate how they cut some crucial scenes from the TV version that’s on youtube, forcing me to hop onto doboku, which buffers. 

Honestly, the last episode felt like a hallucinated dream sequence. In one scene, they’re all sitting around the table saying that the need to seal the Wan Jun sword before Mo Qing gets out of the control, and then it suddenly cuts to black with a title card that says 5 years later (don’t get me started on how often they overuse the “5 years later” plot device. Why is it always exactly 5 years?) We then see that Zhiyan is now the sect leader, and we’re told that Mo Qing has sealed himself away, and Zhao yao has been waiting for him to return. We don’t see them say goodbye to Mo Qing before he seals himself away. No scene showing a handover to Zhiyan. We’re just forced to go with it and imagine these scenes ourselves. 

Zhao yao, with a new hairstyle and new clothes to signify the time skip, watches Zhi yan and the sect from the distance. She then goes to visit other people, like Sima Rong and Liu Cangling. Liu Cangling and Zhiyan are the only couple who were able to move on from each other, and honestly, good for them. We then see Zhao yao sitting in the cave, pouring wine onto the cave floor, and then it cuts to black again and a sword flies through the air and wedges itself on the bedrock and we hear Mo Qing say Zhao yao’s name in a voiceover. And then it cuts to a scene where they’re both in the cave wearing their clothes from 5 years and Zhao yao has her old hairstyle. You assume this is a flashback to when they sealed the sword. And then we see Mo Qing in another realm where he lowers the sword in to the water, presumably sealing it. And then it cuts to both of them on the street buying food, wearing their old clothes and hairstyles. 

Does this mean he got out of the seal? When in the timeline is this street scene? How did he get out of the seal? Did he just walk out? Was Zhao yao there waiting for him, or did he go and find her? It’s typical for there to be a long period of uncertain separation in xianxia and wuxia dramas, and these dramas usually end either ambiguously where you don’t know if the couple will reunite, or they end with an emotional reunion, like in Ashes of Love, Eternal Love, Love and Destiny, and Love and Redemption, and famously in Return of the Condor Heroes. But what in the world was this ending?? The hell happened? That was so anticlimactic. If the scene on the street really was their “reunion” after he got out of the seal, does that mean Zhao yao changed her hair back to 5 years ago? Why is the costuming so confusing then?

And the last scene where they have the same actors play their kids? Um, no. That’s just plain weird. You built up the chemistry between the 2 actors, and then in the end you make them play siblings and re-enact the scene of when their parents met? For what? To make the audience reminisce about the budding romance between the leads at the beginning so that things come full circle? But, these characters are siblings?? You’re trying to make us emotional over a scene of two siblings pretending to be lovers?

There was just no point in doing that. It doesn’t tell us anything about the characters’ married life now. I don’t care about their kids. I care about the characters and what they’re doing now. What a strange and uncomfortable way to end the drama. Not satisfying at all. 

It would have been better if they had left it ambiguous. The amount of times that Zhao yao came back from the dead showed that they can defy the impossible, so even if it was an ambiguous ending, you’d still be able to believe that they’ll be together again. But this mess just ruined the chemistry. Ugh. I really miss the first half of the drama. 

Overall Impression

I’m mad about how chaotic the last few episodes were. While the beginning of the drama wasn’t without its flaws either, it was still very promising and intriguing. The beginning of the drama felt like they knew where they were going with the story, even if you didn’t completely like the direction that it went. So yes, I echo the other critiques saying that this drama had a strong beginning and a weak end. 

When I got to episode 35, I thought, how bad can this get? When I got to episode 42, I was still holding out hope that maybe other people were just harsh and maybe I’ll actually enjoy it. But no, the final 10 episodes are really as bad as everyone says it is. 

The romance, which was the only reason I stuck to the drama, also felt a little underdeveloped. I wish we got to see more scenes of them pre-episode 30.They were so cute then. Everything post-episode 30 was just them being constantly worried about each other. 

At least there was no angst. And the comedy was great. So there’s that. 

I give this drama a 7/10 for the characters and the premise. The plot is not worth watching due to terrible editing, pacing, and consistency, but it’s also a drama that won’t take you long to watch since you could skip most of it anyway and just go to the scenes with the leads. It’s my first drama watching Bai Lu and Xu Kai, but I’m def now interested in more of their work, like Arsenal Military Academy. 

[gaysiancomics]

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me

Synopsis

Freddy is the indie teen archetypal protagonist of Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me. As an Asian-American kid caught in an unhappy relationship with her white girlfriend, Freddy shares much in common with Tamaki’s other protagonists. LD hurts Freddy by making out with other girls at parties and dances (Tamaki & Valero-O’Connell, 12), while emotionally manipulating Freddy by engaging when it is convenient to herself, only to vanish afterwards. This is demonstrated when LD abruptly leaves Freddy’s house after having lost interest in the conversation (99), and later when demanding that Freddy attend her birthday party (240). Freddy in turn behaves in a self-destructive manner, returning again and again to Freddy.

Abusive Relationships & Healthy Friendships

LD’s treatment of Freddy forms a cyclical pattern that may define not only abusive relationships, but can also serve as a personification of trauma in general. When Freddy first attempts to break up with LD, LD says, “You know every time we break up, we always get back together” (199). Freddy’s friends are initially supportive, despite Freddy going through her third break up with LD. They listen to her problems (23), and offer to start a rumor about LD (35). But Freddy’s obsession with LD affects her ability to be a good friend. She neglects to defend her friends when LD calls them “boring” (129), and is late to Doodle’s abortion appointment because of LD’s attention-seeking behaviors (250). Freddy’s inability to be kind to herself, ultimately compromises her ability to be kind to others. This culminates in a major conflict between Freddy and her best friend, Doodle (225).

Similar to The Magic Fish, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me does not end with romantic love, but platonic love, this time between two friends. It is Doodle’s time of need, after their abortion—and LD’s lack of consideration—that leads Freddy to LD’s house to break up with her. Watching Doodle sleep, Freddy considers her email from the advice columnist. “What does your love with this person offer you? Does it make you happy? Does it give you what you need to be a better person?” (265). These questions, originally posed towards Freddy’s relationship with LD, are recontextualized in Freddy’s relationship with Doodle. It is Doodle who fulfills Freddy, and who gives her a supportive, platonic relationship. Not LD.

Postmodern Spaces

Similar to Skim, there is little mention of Freddy’s ethnic identity in Laura Dean. Her ethnicity has little impact over the narrative. Whereas Skim is kicked out of a party, and that experience significantly shapes her relationship to other characters in the book, Freddy experiences milder micro-aggressions that do not impact the plot, such as being exotified by her own girlfriend for her race: “It’s so multicultural to have an Asian girlfriend with a name like Frederica,” LD remarks as they lay in bed (85).

Sexuality is dealt with in a similarly post-modern approach. Adult figures and peers alike are either ambivalent or supportive of queer relationships—and the issues taken with Freddy and LD’s relationship has nothing to do with them being same-sex, but with theirs being a toxic dynamic. In contrast to Skim’s homophobic, all-white high school, the spaces illustrated in Laura Dean are more likely queer-friendly and inclusive. Laura Dean takes place in Berkeley, a center for queer life, and Freddy works at a queer café, where queer people are free to discuss their interpersonal relationships (159), and where Freddy finds support in her break up with LD. Even spaces that are not immediately notable are made into queer spaces by the fact that Freddy is often surrounded by friends and acquaintances, all queer-coded in some way.

While homophobia, and to a lesser degree, racism, are present, they are presented in an understated way. Buddy, an explicitly queer character, and Marcus, a supposedly cisthet character, for example, have some kind of altercation in the locker room regarding name-calling (113). Though we never know what kind of name-calling this entails, the locker room setting insinuates some kind of queer-phobia in that it has traditionally been a place of binary gender segregation, hyper-masculinity, and homophobia. In taking this approach, Tamaki and O’Connell dismantle differences that have defined narratives about what is queer and what isn’t, while also acknowledging the legacy of racism and homophobia which shape the life of an individual like Freddy.