#also we are both nonbinary now.
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chenqingssuibian · 2 years ago
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tfw u see someone u had a massive gay crush on in middle school on a dating app
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s4ndg3m · 6 months ago
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hear me out on scag x split guys. they both start with "s" it's practically canon.
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magentagalaxies · 9 months ago
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one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)
but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:
"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"
and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"
to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.
anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this
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it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week
so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?
another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number
#i just love old gay men so much lmao#and they seem to love me (or at least the ones in the second example did lmao)#also one of the other indicators that the first guys only knew about scott's personal life from his wikipedia page#is that they assumed the last boyfriend mentioned on there was someone scott was still dating to this day#and they were like ''oh i'm so happy to hear you have (boyfriend's name)'' meanwhile scott is like ''uh sorry we broke up 21 years ago''#meanwhile i'm like SAME NUMBER OF YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ALIVE SCOTT!!#to be fair scott hasn't had a serious long-term relationship since then so we have joked about my birth somehow being the antichrist#but just for scott thompson's romantic life. like there's some curse that scott can't be in a serious relationship until i am#which is very funny bc both of us did in fact have a date we were looking forward to when we got back from the tour#in my case mine is with a hot nonbinary person who works at the venue where scott did his boston show and that's how we met lmao#this is also why i was pissed off that my instagram locked me out bc i have hot nonbinary person's instagram but not their phone number#and i said i'd message them when i got back from the tour. which i cannot do#tempted to just message them as mouth congress (the one account i can still get into) and send them my phone number#maybe i'll do that if i don't get my instagram back by buddy's birthday#anyway maybe this is oversharing about both my love life and scott's love life but i just find it very funny#like i was never someone in high school who went on dates and gossiped about it with my friends#and now i get to have some bizarre version of that where my peer group is goddamn scott thompson????#between this and me pulling up the lowest show pic in like 2 seconds yeah maybe we are weirdly close lmao#but i wouldn't have it any other way
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wicked-west-cats · 6 months ago
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Must be rough losing them so young huh?
shadowbelly looking at lil memorial graves of his parents ft itty bitty roachkit unaware of sad things
#shadowbelly#roachshade#lakeclan#warrior cats#warriors oc#hidden lore#i found out today that the man who basically was a second father to me passed away and i guess this mindless doodle was a way for me to cop#some pond lore for you: my dad was an addict when i was growing up and he didnt always know how to properly deal with that#and also be a parent at the same time when i was visiting him + he was in an abusive marriage#so when things were just really bad he would take me to the house of my 'aunt' and 'uncle' who very much helped raise me and take care of m#i have very fond memories of them#and my 'uncle' actually made sure he got a motorcycle so i could ride with him specifically at my dads own memorial ride#he had since stopped riding bikes but it was important to him that HE be the one i ride with because ive ALWAYS been like his fourth kid#he also is the only adult on my dads side that i came out as nonbinary to#i didnt even have to come out he just asked if i was trans/nonbinary and i said yeah and he just said cool ill always love you#idk they think his death was sudden like a heart attack or something but we wont know till after today#my 'aunt' is letting me keep some of his ashes in a necklace so i can have one for both my dad and my “dad”#ill be okay but it just feels really strange right now#we didnt see each other much after i grew up but he made sure i knew that if i ever needed anything i only had to ask#doesnt seem fair to lose two dads in less than three years but i guess it is what it is
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ab-horror · 6 days ago
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god i cant believe we're ALL the gay cousin
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bittwitchy · 15 days ago
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m/cr finally going on tour again but their promo and timing was NOT thought out at ALL
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lionblaze03-2 · 6 months ago
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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ratmans-notebooks · 9 months ago
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i have to stop looking at blogs with vile takes im getting so worked up for nothing
#squeaking#'actually its okay for trans men to be excluded from trans spaces because women dont have to like men!!" Huh .#your gender essentialism is not better just cause u specified “trans” before talking about Men and Women#“trans women dont like men and also femicide is a word so therefore trans men should not be allowed around transfems ever”#is not the radically progressive take u think it is#truly incomprehensible to me the kind of shit people will come up with.#What are you talking about. do you live on Every trans person perfectly passes with no obstacles or pushback by cis people Planet ??#1. actually all trans people deserve to share space in the trans coimmunity. so jot that down.#2. there are transmasc girls + transfem boys + bigender people + NONBINARY people HELLO like how are we defining Men?#how are you deciding which trans people are Too Masculine and which of us are Just Masculine Enough answer quickly#3. do you REALLY think transmascs are just excluded from any experiences with misogyny. think real carefully now.#is the expectation from my parents to get pregnant suddenly Not Misogyny since i identify as ftm?#do the constant reminders that i would never be good at physical activities due to Being a Girl when i was 10 not count anymore-#-because at 15 i realized i wanted to have a cock?#be fucking serious.#there is this constant idea that trans men automatically gain all access to cis maleness#and face NO oppression for their proximity to/or percieved womanhood#(like. ur really gonna look a 5'2 teenager with birthing hips and b cups and a round face and a high voice he has Male Privelege.)#and it leads to us being pushed out of both womens AND trans spaces#it is a lose lose for us. everywhere#it is starting to get fucking exhausting#transandrophobia#negative
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synonymroll648 · 2 years ago
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practice transmasc sophie drawing :) 
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motoroil-recs · 6 months ago
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I suppose this counts as a kinfession. I just wanted to state how sometimes it gets really frustrating to see sentients who are kin with a not binary character that uses they/them (see Kris from Deltarune) and them then using he/him. I get that it is their own memories and literally them, but I suppose after a while it feels like some sort of erasure to me? I hope that makes sense, and if anybody could explain more to make me more comfortable with this specific thing, that would be lovely as well. I always want to keep an open mind.
🏎️‼️
#🏎️ — KINFESSION !#kinfession#kin blog#kin help#fictionkin#This is a fascinating concept that obviously doesn't have a straight answer.#It's purely subjective. But in my opinion. We have to first establish that who you were in source and in your memories is secondary to who#you are now.#So obviously. Your identity your change. The pronouns you go by can change.#And as a third person you are by all means allowed to feel squicked out by seeing that. I can't say I don't get squicked out when certain#cultural aspects of a character are disregarded by the people that are kin with them.#But if we were to police any of that. Then kinning would be immensely complicated and exclusionary in ways that do more harm than good.#We also cannot possibly assume someone's feelings towards their current or past gender identity. What if this hypothetical individual you'r#talking about *does* go by they/them but are still processing that part of their identity? What if they're nonbinary but choose to go by#he/him? We don't know!#We can't possibly know. And to make assumptions about people that are that complicated is too risky for me to be comfortable with.#I get where you're coming from. But I don't think it's something that 1) should ever be brought up to someone that is just trying to live#their life and 2) should ever come before the respect one has towards a person and their identity.#All in all. It's a fascinating subject I'm all for discussing. But not before stating that I consider the feelings of real people to be mor#important than the 'representation' a fictional character stands for.#Both because real people are people and not representation of anything. And because if you DID start going down this mental rabbithole I#think you would just drive yourself bonkers for no good reason.#I know I would.
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nowendil · 1 year ago
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been thinking a lot about womanhood lately
#like. i don't exactly identify as being a woman. in contrast i do have a strong nonbinary/muunsukupuolinen identity#yet i do feel and acknowledge that in most contexts i AM a woman#not only because that's what most of the world sees me as but that's also consecuently how i move through the world#there is no one set way for women to experoence the world but i do feel like my experience is one of those. because i am gendered as a woman#it used to make me uncomfortable and dysphoric and i'm not saying that now it never does#but i have made my peace with it? like. i feel like i have “let womanhood in” as a part of my identity#and i have also realized that it's not actually being seen as a woman that makes me uncomfortable but being seen SOLELY as a woman#like my friends calling me a woman or my partner calling me their girlfriend doesnt sting usually#because i know they also see the other parts of my gender identity#but when a coworker refers to me with she/her or includes me in “ladies” it stings. because i know that's all they see#like YES i can be a woman. if you acknowledge that i am a bit of a weird woman.#i can be a woman if you acknowledge that i am a gnc woman. a bisexual woman. a queer woman. a woman who is sometimes bit of a man.#if you see and acknowledge that we can talk#however i am NOT a nonbinary woman. i am nonbinary AND a woman. which to some people is the same thing#but to me it's an important distinction. being nonbinary and being a woman are both parts of my gender identity but in very different ways#and very distinctively. lumping them together as equal parts of my identity as i feel the term “nonbinary woman” does doesn't describe me#i am enthusiastically nonbinary. i am begrudgingly a woman. i'm a woman with a long footnote explanation. woman¹#“nonbinary woman” also doesnt feel like it accommodates the way i relate to manhood or boyhood. but that's a whole another tedtalk#i'm not a man but i like how it looks. and i'm not a man i'm just borrowing parts of it for genderfuckery reasons#idk how to explain it in english...#in finnish i would say that en oo mies mut joskus lainaan tai iahn vaa ihailen asioita mieheyden kuvastosta.#but because in social situations and In Our Society That We Live In you mostly can just choose one gender and it's either man or a woman#thennout of those i would rather be a woman. legally. with strangers. you know. not a woman but kind of yes because i relate to other women#if i could be seen only as nonbinary i would. but then again my nonbinaryness does encompass some parts of both womanhood and manhood.#so i guess people would have trouble seeing it as “only nonbinsry”#idk man. it's complicated and also changes emphasis multiple times a year#ask me again a month from now and the gender landscape will be interpreted completely differently#gender#nowe talks
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sparky-is-spiders · 1 year ago
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Hey the TMA Somewhere Else is Dredge au still lives in my brain actually. I think Jon spends a lot of time trying to study how the eldritch stuff interacts with the environment. Minorish spoilers for Dredge below. If you haven’t played it yet, please do. Pretty sure it’s still on sale on Steam right now. It’s such a good, lonely, somber little horror fishing game.
Okay I’ll try to avoid too many spoilers because I think this game is best experienced blind and I’m pretty sure I only have a couple followers who’ve played it. But anyway, some Jon nature studies (btw this is an au with any/all Jon):
- Jon actually stays in Stellar Basin w/ the researcher for a while. Helps her take samples and stuff. His interest was perked when he heard that the mutations supposedly came from the creature, so he starts looking for evidence and taking water and soil samples (how did the eldritch influence spread? Through creatures? Through water? Or was the whole area influenced when whatever lived in the basin came through?)
- She starts testing out a theory that the monsters in the area might actually be aberrations who’ve reached some evolutionary peak. This means trying to get samples from the monsters. Which means Jon getting very, VERY close to them. Only complicated by the fact that they make scientific equipment go absolutely haywire (not to mention she’s going off knowledge from the Eye and a crash course from the researcher), so the results prove… inconclusive.
- Once the photographer gives them a camera, they take lots of pictures. Mostly abberations and monsters, but occasionally the local wildlife too. Their favorites are the pictures they snapped of a sperm whale dragging a giant tentacle down to the depths.
- They save up until they can purchase a small apartment out in Greater Marrow. Much like their old flat, it’s barely used and barely organized, and it doesn’t feel even a little bit like home. Their notes are spread all over the place, pinned to walls and filling up shelves and piled all over their rickety desk. The photo of the sprem whale attacking the giant tentacle is pinned in the center of the corkboard (it was a very good, VERY lucky shot, and they think they were honestly more surprised than whatever the hell the tentacle was part of).
- He tried capturing one of the piranhas out in Devil’s Spine, but even dead, they call to their mother, and he has to toss them overboard or have his boat crushed between massive jaws.
- She consulted the researcher (and the Eye) about ways to keep a fish farm, but for the aberrations instead. It took a lot of trial and error, but she managed to keep one of what she classed as “incubator” aberrations (perhaps a cyclopean flounder?) until the “eye” hatched (for non-Dredge players: cyclopean flounders appear to have one giant eye, but it’s actually an egg (the pupil is a yolk)). Unfortunately, what exactly emerged from the egg is unknown. They Eye alerted Jon that it had hatched, but when she checked the area it was being kept in, she only found gorey remains, a hole in the mesh keeping the fish contained, and slime clinging nearby. It was a shame, she had gotten somewhat attached to the unfortunate flounder.
- He’d spend days, sometimes even weeks at a time using his spyglass to watch schools of fish with abberations, observing their behavior and how they interact with the regular fish. He tried going on a dive to observe them once, and I can’t decide if I want that to end with him getting attacked instantly, or with him awakening hours later on the deck, drenched in water, covered in seaweed, with no memory of what he saw and a notebook full of scribbles and gibberish. Either way, he 100% tries again multiple times later.
- Attempts to Know about the ocean or See below the surface of the water are met with… resistance. Part of it is the Eye’s limited presence, it’s only just gotten here and it’s still slowly gathering strength and they can’t draw much power from it (Useful in that it means they don’t need to take as many statements anymore, need to sustain themselves with human food too, but it also makes them weaker). Part of it is the sea itself. It doesn’t want to be seen or known or understood, and attempts to do so have been met with failure and sometimes attacks. (Jon still remembers their first attempt, where they tried to know if all that unnatural fog was somehow connected to the Lonely, reaching out with all their strength, only for a shark with shining white eye to rise to the surface of the water and tear a massive chunk out of the hull).
Ok that’s all I have for now. Go play Dredge. Goodbye.
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skyllion-uwu · 2 years ago
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If the drinks in Yume Nikki are estrogen and the food in Yume 2kki is testosterone then what are the food and drink in .flow
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ablednt · 2 years ago
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Can't come over today I'm busy psychoanalyzing societies that don't actually exist, yeah tomorrow too, sorry
#verdict#I'm just [thinks about it all/exo]#I do not in particular or at all want to go back to that life but I just#dear god. thinking of it all. having thoughts about it#I'm rediscovering a fictional culture that isn't even written anywhere#which you may think 'isn't that just having ocs' but no it isn't our world building skills are absolutely abysmal#it's just that the author of my source really just kinda. didn't explore my culture all that much#other than basing it off the roman empire (but also just kind of. both republic and empire and then also with a lot of influences that were#definitely medieval italian so it's a whole mess yk?#so now I've had the fun of going 'hey some of my memories don't match up with roman culture as we know it what was up with that'#and it's just all really interesting#like we had different pronouns we used to show different relations to people and to show status#and nonbinary/neutral genders were recognized so there were neutral forms of these generally#gender as a whole and gender roles were also very interesting since it was in this weird limbo where#misogynistic laws were very much in place but it was not a proper patriarchy either? so there's just this nuance that is pretty wild to me#when I compare it to stuff I'm familiar with in this world#also the most common informal word for parent was the pronouns children usually use for their parents (also some of their first words)#combined and it was a whole concept yk? like oh this is my parent this is who my first words were for and that was just really sweet to me#there's also a lot of fucked up shit probably obviously because its inspiration is one of the messiest and shittiest empires ever so I'm#also thinking about all of that and experiencing the agony etc#there's just so much#and it feels so bizarre that it's only real now inside of our memories
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magentagalaxies · 2 years ago
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overdid it at my improv show last night and now all i can do is lay in bed having blorbo thoughts
#it was my first time performing live comedy in at least a year and oh my god i didn't realize how much i'd missed it#i love doing behind-the-scenes stuff but something about being onstage with no script and the job of entertaining people#i'm like ah yes this is why i want to be a comedian no matter what#i'd done some virtual improv shows since the pandemic but being in person is so much better#my scene partner could just be like ''hey i'm giving you a piggy back now'' and i'd be like ok no follow up questions#i trust you know what you're doing in this scene enough for me to put my entire weight on you (both metaphorically and literally)#also spontaneously transformed from acting as myself to acting as taffy (one of my recurring improv characters) in like 0.5 seconds#and i didn't even know i was going to be doing taffy at this show (neither did my scene partner they just set me up perfectly)#idk if i've talked about taffy before but i love her she was my first major recurring comedic character#her whole thing is she desperately wants to be part of this wealthy family called the van bortels#and comes up with wild schemes to get there such as living in their vents for the entire pandemic#she also has a husband who's a raccoon that is also nonbinary#i love playing taffy bc she was the first character i ever did that was like. oh people enjoy this. oh people REALLY want to see this.#and when i came home from college the first time we did a scene where there was an imposter-taffy that was another cast member#basically doing their own impression of taffy#and it genuinely made me emotional like wow i made such a distinct character that people are doing their own imitations of her#and it's still unmistakably taffy#anyway maybe i should bring taffy out more. i've been focusing a lot on aubrey lately bc ze's my favorite character i do#but i have at least two other characters i developed in improv over the years that people seem to enjoy#(the third is taytay but i legit haven't played taytay since 2020 so i barely remember what she's like)
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kirkfanatic · 8 days ago
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#dragon age#as a nonbinary trans person this is fairly close to how i felt about it#in some ways inquisition did trans inclusion better just because it engaged with it in the context of the in-universe cultures#which is not to say it was without flaws either#at minimum they could've cast a transmasc VA for Krem for example#and veilguard does a great job there! there are at least four confirmed trans characters all played by appropriately gendered trans actors#but i've played through the entire game as a nonbinary rook#and now started another run as an aqun-athlok qunari who's socially transitioned but not physically#and when you use the mirror to mark your character as trans there's zero option to say your physical presentation hasn't changed#and you're happy with that#ultimately i feel like it's a symptom of the broader problem of the game in that everything is relatively shallow compared to earlier games#there wasn't enough time/care put into making stuff fit into the world and give it depth and meaning#i have friends who've found this plotline to be enlightening and empowering and i am so happy for them that it's opened the door#i do not think including the trans stuff was a mistake in any way whatsoever and i'm glad they did it#i just wish it'd had more time to cook#I ALSO wish we hadn't been stuck with a binary choice of encouraging Taash to be Rivaini or Qunari at exclusion of the other#both because they're nonbinary and because that's how being an immigrant or mixed race works#it's really weird to insist it has to be one identity or the other period
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