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horrorboydyke · 4 years ago

Note

Do you think you can write something about jealous!KieuMy? Also do you know of other authors here who write about kieutou?

Hi anon!! i hope you enjoy this fic! I’ve linked some amazing Kieutou writers underneath my fic! (read on ao3)

It was new, it was all so new and it made Kieu My nervous, so very nervous. Rationally she knew that Fatou really liked her but in some twisted part of Kieu My’s brain she obsessively thought about Fatou leaving her for someone better, someone who knew how to be with women, someone who knew what they were doing but it’s a thought that seems to diminish whenever Fatou even smiled at her.

It didn’t help to see how close Fatou was with her friends, how tight she would hug them or thread their fingers together for comfort and this delusional jealousy would make Kieu My roll her eyes at herself. She understands it comes from not having many close female friendships and how she is being quite hypocritical because if anyone who didn’t know them looked at her and Zoe’s friendship Kieu My was sure they’d assume they were girlfriends.

But no matter how hard Kieu My tried those ugly thoughts would swirl in her head like a whirlpool and if Kieu My focused on those thoughts for too long they’ll sweep her in and toss her around, leaving her battered with a bruised ego and incredibly insecure. It would be at this point that she’d ignore Fatou, her texts and her attempts to communicate because this isn’t how Kieu My wants Fatou to see her, upset and weak.

“You know that you can talk to me about anything right? Like absolutely anything” Fatou had said one day while the two lay on Kieu My’s bed wrapped in a big blanket and curled in each other’s arms. Kieu My’s fingers still from rubbing circles into her girlfriend’s shoulder, she had hummed and nods her head after a moment of stillness, the thoughts she wanted to share on the tip of her tongue but she swallowed them back down and not daring to speak instead kisses the top of her girlfriends head and curls into her.

---

“I fucking hate this,” Kieu My had groaned one day after watching Fatou pull Nora into her lap at school, her jealousy peaking despite the fact Fatou had caught her eye from across the courtyard and blew her a kiss which left Kieu My all bubbly and giggling like a fangirl who just got winked at by her idol.

“Maybe you should just talk to her about it? That's what I would do anyway,” Zoe says absentmindedly, distracted by her phone.

“No, I can’t,” Kieu My says matter-of-factly shaking her head and turning her back to her girlfriends and looking at Zoe opposite her and raising her eyebrows when Zoe looks up from her phone to look at her and gives her an incredulous look.

“And why is that?”

“Because I don’t want to be that girlfriend?” Kieu My answers quietly and rolls her eyes when Zoe furrows her eyebrows and nods her head for Kieu My to elaborate.

“Ya know, the crazy girlfriend who is uber controlling and whose jealousy gets in the way of everything and makes her so insecure that she pushes her girlfriend away and just is the reason the relationship fails. I don’t want to be that person and I don’t want Fatou to think I don’t trust her because I do, I do,” Kieu My rants and when she finally stops she takes a deep breath in and looks at Zoe pointedly.

“You sure got a lot of fucked up thoughts in there don’t you?” Zoe asks sarcastically and gently taps a finger to the middle of Kieu My’s forehead who scrunches up her nose.

“You have no idea,” she sighs and groans as she puts her head in her hands.

“I think it’s perfectly normal to be jealous but I think it becomes problematic when its the only emotional that consumes you but you’re not being controlling, Nora is currently cuddling up to your girlfriend and it’s not like you’re going up to them and forcing Fatou away from her friends because it makes you angry right? How does your jealousy make you feel?” Zoe asks and Kieu My thinks for a moment and lifts her head to look at Zoe.

“Insecure mostly, it doesn’t make me angry at her, it makes me angry at me because how could I feel this way about her? Because I trust her so much but feeling this jealousy makes me feel like a hypocrite and like subconsciously maybe I don’t trust her as much as I promised her,” Kieu My says, her eyes watering and feeling how much admitting all this hurts.

“Babe?” Fatou questions from behind from her and both Kieu My and Zoe jump not had heard her approach. Kieu My blinks her eyes and wills the tears to disappear in the 5 seconds it takes her to turn around and look at her girlfriend.

Kieu My smiles at Fatou as she turns around and makes a mental note to let Fatou know how cute she looks today in her braids.

“Can we talk?” Fatou asks and Kieu My instantly picks up how nervous Fatou seems, wringing her hands and shifting her eyes between Kieu My who is now packing up her stuff into her bag and Zoe who is smiling at her.

Kieu My finished putting her stuff into her bag and stands, holding out her hand for Fatou to take but drops it back by her side when Fatou shakes her head and tucks her hand into her pocket. They are silent as they walk back into the school and into the first empty and unlocked classroom they see.

They both throw themselves in seats next to each other and Kieu My is vibrating out of her skin and she clears throat but doesn’t look over at Fatou when she gets out of her seat to pace in front of Kieu My.

“Are you cheating on me? Fatou spits out after a few laps of the front of the classroom and Kieu My almost chokes on her spit.

“Oh my god no, babe what?” Kieu My asks incredulously, “I would never, where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know! You’ve just been so distant lately and my brain has just jumped to all the extreme reasons that you aren’t around like maybe don’t like me anymore or you’re cheating on me or I’ve done something to piss you off or - oof,” Fatou’s ranting is cut off by Kieu My standing up and slamming their lips together. Fatou fists Kieu My’s shirt and tilts her head so she can deepen the kiss, after a while, they pull away and rest their foreheads together trying to regain their breath.

“I would never cheat on you because….” Kieu My trails off slowly, “because I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Fatou says and reconnects their lips and they both smile into the kiss.

“Okay, but what was going on though?” Fatou says a while later after they had moved away from the middle of the classroom, Fatou is sitting on one of the tables and Kieu My is standing between her legs.

“It’s going to sound so fucking stupid but I was jealous and my stupid fucking brain convinced me that you would leave me for someone more experienced and I just got so insecure that I guess I was just kinda pushing you away,” Kieu My says shyly and hides her face by smushing her face into the top of Fatou’s head.

“Baby, I would never. I love you and only you okay? I just wished you’d talk to me about it,” Fatou says and peppers kisses along Kieu My’s jawline.

“I just didn’t want to be that controlling girlfriend,” Kieu My says and leans against Fatou and enjoys the feeling of Fatou’s lips along her neck and the side of her face.

“You could never,” Fatou says and pulls herself away from Kieu My’s face and Kieu My whines in protest.

“I love you no matter what and I know you love me so I know you’d never do anything to hurt me like trying to control me okay?” Fatou asks and Kieu My nods her head and smashing their lip together.

“Scratch that, you’re gonna hurt me by knocking my teeth out if you keep doing that,” Fatou laughs after they detangle their lips and rubs her top lip.

“Dummy,” Kieu My says and they smile at each other.

Fin

Some amazing Kieutou writers!! noorakviigmohn on ao3, @michellejackson here on tumblr, prbblmz on ao3 and axolotl_girl on ao3 are just the people I know off the top of my head!

#druck #asks #anon #my writing #Anonymous

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riceccakes · 4 years ago

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Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira.

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic.

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

#ricewrites #earth wind and coffee #coffee shop au #chapter analysis #writing analysis #korrasami #korrasami fic #korra #asami sato #lok

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years ago

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Poly Wanna? Ch. 2

So, whenever I said I wasn’t gonna tag again, I didn’t think about the fact that I could simply copy and paste, so I did. Lol. This chapter has a little bit of language (this story will too), but I probably won’t think to put up disclaimers every single time. It’s a Charlotte chapter, basically showing you a little more of how she is in this fic and how she was raised. Hopefully, the story is still enjoyable. I’ve got the thing up on ff.net as well, if it’s easier to follow there because of the emails. At any rate, here is the second installment and let me know if I need to remove you from the next copy+paste tags.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @cactus-con @up-the-tube @riebellion @itsyaapollochild@oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille

02. Born This Way

Getting into the jeep, Charlotte put the key into the ignition, paused and said, “I have to tell you something. I don’t know how to feel about things, right now.”

He looked a little panicked, “What? About me?” He asked in a kind of tiny voice.

“No. About all of that,” she gestured one of her hands towards the brownstone and shook her head, “I mean, on the one hand there’s not a person in this world that I dislike more than Henry Prudence Hart. Seeing him again just brought back a lot of that. Of the dislike, the love, the hurt. Because, that dislike comes from a place of hurt, because there’s also not a person in this world that I’ve loved more than him and he just… you know… didn’t even care at all.”

Jasper took her shaking hand into his and assured her, “Look, I know that feeling, but I promise you, he did care. He didn’t know how to show it, but he really loved you when you were together and he was extremely hurt when it ended. He knew it was his fault and he hated that he had hurt you. But, also, if you think you can’t do this, we can call him up right now and tell him we’re out. He’s resourceful. He’ll manage.”

“I really want to do it, though. I think it might give me a chance to kind of be seen for who I am and explain myself. To my parents, you know? To familiars that might tune in. Maybe it’ll help me take a look at myself, even? You know? Jasper, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, but I have to start somewhere in figuring it out. I can’t just coast by on autopilot.” He nodded his head, kissed her hand and let it go. “So, you seemed fine, though. How often do you see him?”

He paused and shook his head, “Not often at all, but anytime I do see him, it’s almost like nothing’s changed. Like, I forget for a moment that we went through the things that we went through. That he put me through what he out me through. It’s like he charms me into being warm with him and then I walk away and wonder why I was so cordial and why I seemed to forget my anger when he’s there, but remember it when he isn’t. But… I figure that’s because he wants me to forget about it. Henry is cunning. He helps people look at relations and find solutions. He can finesse an ex or two in a heartbeat and not bat an eye. When all is said and done, that part of my life is over with and me still being angry about it is only gonna hurt me. So, I just shake it off.”

“Like the Devil,” Charlotte said and nodded. Jasper raised an eyebrow. She was finally ready to start driving, humming the tune to “Shake the Devil Off,” as she did.

To be clear, Henry was her first. She had consciously made a decision, and he was her top choice. She grew up with what she now classified as “two potentials.” That was Henry Hart and Jasper Dunlop. They were both stupid, gross boys for her childhood days, but eventually there was puberty and the hormones mingled with the close proximity swayed that viewpoint a little bit. She could honestly say that she felt like she had crushes on both of them, at different times - like when they needed her, or when they weren’t annoying her, or being stupid… So… you know, a little bit here and there.

It wasn’t until her mother decided that it was time for “the talk” that she ever really thought about it, though. Honestly, she was friends with them and for her, that meant that she loved them. She wasn’t thinking about dating or anything sexual, really, though she had imagined a kiss or a hand hold or something and figured whenever she was ready to try it, it would be with a friend. She only had two, so it wasn’t something she had to juggle, or anything.

The talk for her was a painful and irritating experience. Charlotte had to have several “the talk” talks with her mother. She had one when she first went to school. She was going to be out in the world, by herself and needed to know about the danger of strangers and the threat of racial discrimination. Her mother had taught her that whenever she was in trouble, try to find a Black woman, “you know, yours and Mommy’s color,” because ‘find an adult’ just wasn’t sufficient for many kids, much less for a Black one and even though Black women weren’t perfect, by a longshot, Mrs. Page leaned on the side of hope that one would see herself in the young girl and attempt to assist her. There were just too many horror stories for her to feel comfortable advising her to find just any adult.

She had one when the school first contacted Mrs. Page about Charlotte’s “unruly hair.” That was more of Mrs. Page coming down to the school and reading everybody in the administration office for filth about her beautiful daughter’s natural hair, with her own big afro swinging with the sway of her head. She had fussed at those people and educated them at the same time, right before withdrawing Charlotte from the school and enrolling her at Swellview Elementary. Charlotte learned a lot that day, so she considered it a talk. The ride home was her mother telling her about how when she was little, her grandmother put chemicals in her hair to make it straight and that half of it fell out and some parts still didn’t grow properly. She told her that businesses and institutions often tried to penalize girls like them for how they were naturally made. “Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because there’s something wrong with them. There’s something evil inside and they don’t even know it, but it’s thought to be normal to say that a child has ugly features because they don’t look exactly like white girls’. If you ask me, that’s what’s ugly - saying that a child needs to change her looks just because! You’re healthy, clean, clothed, and happy. Never let their judgement change that last one. It isn’t worth it.”

The talk whenever she “became a young lady,” was more like a Q and A, fill in the blank type talk. She’d asked her if she knew what was happening to her body, instead of presuming that she needed it explained, and then she filled in the parts that Charlotte was not exactly clear on. And her mom was the best about periods. She hadn’t heard many stories from friends about it. But Mrs. Page had “period packs,” which included vitamins, medication specifically for this time, a selection of sanitary supplies for fluctuation in the flow, heating pads, safe period snacks (stuff that you’re actually supposed to eat, as opposed to the crap your body might crave), a fun period journal, a scream pillow, and books about it by Black gynecologists or specifically targeting Black girls.

At this point, some of you may be thinking, “Wow, Charlotte’s mom is OBSESSED with Blackness/Black girl things…” And the short answer is, yes. She feels like she has to make sure that Charlotte didn’t have to relearn how to treat herself and love herself in her body, in this town. Which… isn’t an openly bigoted town, but an American town with a low population of other Black people. All subject matter generally has whiteness and their experiences as a default and an audience. Charlotte’s mother internalized a lot as a dark skinned girl child with “nappy” hair that needed straightening and next to no representation in media or her environment. She didn’t want Charlotte to ever have to battle loving herself. She had promised, before she was ever born that she would be a different kind of mother than the self-loathing woman who brought her up. Anywho…

The “some people say the birds and the bees, but this is really about your body and what you want to do with it,” talk was something else. It was the first time since that racism one she had going into Kindergarten that she was confused about every part of this. Now, her mother never gave her anything to have to relearn about her hair, her skin, or her body itself… But what she wanted to do with it? That woman had Charlotte ALL discombobulated after their talk.

Mostly due to “the choice.” They had went through the biology - yes, Charlotte was a girl, she knew it and didn’t have any other thoughts or need any hormone blockers, or have any dysmorphia or even general questions about her gender identity. She had always been a girl and never had a doubt. But, taking that time to learn about transgender identities and her cis-privilege was extremely fascinating to her and stuck with her. “Just how you would want someone to treat you with the respect you deserve and have your back in spaces where they have privilege, I hope that I’ve raised you to stick up for those who don’t.” Of course. They went through the process of the reproductive system via sexual intercourse and the possibility of same sex attraction. Charlotte didn’t think that she was attracted to girls, but she couldn’t say for sure, because honestly, at that point, she wasn’t exactly sexually attracted to boys either. So, her mom covered some same sex topics, as well, just in case and stressed the importance of Charlotte knowing that she wouldn’t judge her and would love her no matter what. So, HERE’S where Charlotte’s confusion came in…

Because, she was too young to know the terminology for all of this and because it wasn’t really an accepted form of relationship status - she couldn’t really grasp the concept where her mother said things like, “When you choose a partner,” or “the person that you are involved with,” or “the boy (or girl) that you like and want to share yourself with.”

“So what if it winds up being boys AND girls?” she wondered. Her mom gave her a description of bisexuality and how she’d still be able to consider herself as such, even if she was with a boy. “Yeah, but what if I’m with a boy AND a girl, I mean? Like, at the same time?” Her mother looked uncomfortable, but explained that sometimes people had threesomes, but warned her that it wasn’t always good for people to do. Sometimes, it hurt their relationship with (here was that phrase again) “the person that they’re actually involved with.”

Charlotte sighed, “Okay. But, like… I feel like I’m not expressing myself very clearly. I mean like… What if I have a boyfriend, and at the same time, I have a girlfriend? I mean, they offer two different things, really any two individuals can, two boys, for instance, or three, you know? I’m asking you, relationship-wise, I guess, what is the reasonable way to have relationships like that?”

Her mother now looked kind of horrified for a moment, and she didn’t usually look at Charlotte that way, so immediately, red flags went off and Charlotte just knew that she had entered into a space that was unacceptable and now they were there and she would have to tough it out. At that moment (she realized much later), she internalized some disdain for herself, because of her mother’s reaction to a question that Charlotte identified with.

“Well, that sounds like cheating, to me,” her mother said. “Sometimes, they do stuff like that in sex cults and hippy communes,” she said. “But, civilized people don’t date two of three boys. Ladies, if they’re good and respect themselves will only date one person at a time and just pour all that love that they think that they have to spread around into that person.”

She winced, but she really needed to clarify to her mom, because what if her mother thought she was some depraved sex cult potential, because of this. Surely, there was a classy way to explain her feelings… “But, what happens if you like more than one person at the same time, but for different reasons, and they like you back? What if the two people are very different and you love each of them, a lot and have the love to pour into both?”

Her mother nodded and blew out a gust of air. Charlotte felt like she still must’ve been explaining her feelings wrong. Her mom just said, “Well, in that case, you just have to figure out what’s best for you, and remember that you can’t have it all.”

Charlotte asked, “So, if I like them both and they both like me, and - I should have said this part earlier - they’re fine with sharing me with each other, and me pouring love into both of them, I should just pick one of them? They’re equals, but individuals. I can’t find in one what I have in the other, and everyone is fine with it. That’s okay, right? That’s a consensual and valid thing, yeah?” She asked, getting more nervous with each troubled movement of her mother’s eyebrows.

“Charlotte… are you having feelings for two boys?” She asked.

“No!” She lied, having already seen that her mother would disapprove if she admitted the truth and feeling super guilty about lying about something like this, because she and her mom were pretty tight with their talks and this one was going completely off the rails. “I’m just still learning.”

Her mother nodded, “Well, to that person, I would say, sure… you can do whatever you want and be with whoever you want, as long as nobody gets hurt, but I would have to seriously wonder how possible it is for such a dynamic to continue without anybody getting hurt.” And that was that on that. Charlotte felt like if she ever did what she now knew to be a “polyamorous” relationship, somebody might get hurt. She still to this day felt like that, even though technically, she knew better. It was more accepted now and it was valid for those who were actually seeking it, not just some of the people like her mother probably imagined who just cheated on people and claimed to be poly, without ever acknowledging things for their partners.

But, on that day, of that talk… She made a choice. The “best” choice. She chose Henry. Not out loud, or even to his face, but in the back of her mind, as that person. The one that she might date. The one that she might kiss. The one that she might hold hands with, or whatever else. In the back of her mind, because once again, she wasn’t thinking about sex, at all, or romance, or marriage, or anything of the sort. As long as she could still be friends with both of her boys, she had everything she needed for the era that she was living in. The only reason that she felt like she was even thinking about all of this now was because she’d subconsciously made that choice, all those years ago, and whenever it did come up, she made the choice out loud. It was clearly the wrong goddamned choice, considering! So, she backtracked and made the other choice and by the way, the way that she was feeling about Jasper, she would have loved to have been hip enough to make this choice a long time ago!

Jasper was the epitome of carefree and could be the poster boy for self love and positivity movements. He always made everybody around him feel warm and cared for. He was a loving friend and dedicated lover. He loved you more than he loved himself, which was saying a lot, because he loved himself so much that he ALWAYS knew that he was dope in a crop top, even when everybody thought he was on some BS. He felt fine with that 11th toe above his ankle and sometimes, jokingly called it his ‘ankle rack,’ he wore an anklet that went sideways because he’d not put it beneath the thing, and he got his outie pierced, It had a damn bucket charm hanging from it. Motherfucker used to call himself a buckateer! In mixed company!

They pulled up home and she simply smiled at him. He smiled back and looked a little confused, but still happy, “What?” He wondered.

“I wish I would have skipped him and gotten to you, first,” she said.

He smiled wider, but tilted his head a little, in disagreement. “I’m glad that you found me when you did. I think that the things that I’ve experienced have been really good foundation for building things with you. Like… You know, you’ve gotta make a few mistakes before you realize what you’re doing and I’m glad that I’ve made my mistakes with other people, so that you can have the best version of me to be with now.”

She sighed and turned off the jeep, “Alright. Let’s get inside. My entire body is ready.” He chuckled, getting out of the vehicle and collected her from behind while she was trying to run inside to get busy. “Hey,” he said gently. She turned and looked at him. “I’m sorry that he hurt you, but I’m glad that he lost you, because of what I have.”

“Dude! My panties are literally melting off. Are you trying to make me jump you, right here?” She asked. He picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder and she let out a playful scream-laugh that probably got at least a couple of nosy neighbors glancing out to see what was happening. Sure, Henry stirred up some pain today, but this was the end result. Jasper was right. This was the best version of him. Her mother had been wrong. She could have everything. As of right now, that’s precisely what Jasper TBD Dunlop was.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

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a-flower-that-writes · 7 years ago

Text

Klance 2018

Finally able to post my Klance week! This is my fic for @sunflowerscientist picture!

If you like what I do, buy me a coffee!

Read on Ao3

He had been looking forward to this break for a long time now. It was seriously overdue and now he basked in the warmth of a star that he knew. A star he never thought he would come to miss. There was the sounds of cars down on the street, children laughing without a care and a parent warning them to mind the other people walking. It was...peaceful. These people and their simple lives that went on like a slow stream below him.

It had been a really long time since they could properly relax. Between keeping the castle battle ready, training both on foot and in the lions (and that was not even counting the political stuff!) they had all been looking forwards to a nice break from it all. Even Coran and Allura had been looking forward to a relatively safe planet to recoup their energy on, one that still existed.

Keith took a slow breath and held it, letting himself relax against the balcony railing with a content hum. Smelled like they were going to get rain. He liked the rain here, no risk of it melting anything important or smelling like rotten eggs. Just simple sweet rain that would feel soothing on his face when he turned it up into the drops. He could also smell the plants nearby, they were blooming soon. He made a note to take a few clippings with him when they went back but for now he just...basked.

Everything was so calm here, hard to believe it was chaos anywhere else. Is this what it was like to live in a bubble? Had this been everyone, before? Before Zarkon, before Lotor, before…...everything. He could feel the sun warm his skin and hair and wondered if he’d tan at all. Lance would be happy at that, he always did think Keith was unhealthily pale. ‘You turn red in harsh artificial light’, he’d teased. ‘I’d love to see you on the beach.’ Rolling his eyes, the paladin shuffled his weight from foot to foot. Keith thought he was just fine thank you, not everyone needed to look like they walked off a magazine for skin that was ‘kissed by the sun’ or ‘made out of honey’ or some other equally silly title. Lips pulling into a smile, he muffled a laugh as he remembered Lance’s reaction to that comment. He loved making Lance laugh like that.

He wasn’t sure what alerted him, maybe a soft scuff of a foot or perhaps just the air moving but a smile crossed his face just before arms wrapped around him from behind with a body pressing against his back soon after. “Gonna rain tonight I think.” Lance commented, chin resting on Keith’s shoulder. No matter how many times it happened, Keith wouldn’t get tired of how easily Lance loved. He loved Keith, loved the rain, loved hugs and kisses and touching and just being. Lance loved the rain more than anyone did and could always be counted on to try and go out and just run around in it. No matter if it would get him sick or not. (The first few times, however, they learned that not all rain was created equal. A few embarrassing medbay trips and stinky ointments later, Lance learned to check out the atmosphere before carelessly running out into bad weather.) He was also king of trying to bait people into it as well, and it was hard to refuse him when he was just so excited about it. Even though it usually ended up with Lance tackling someone into a puddle. Usually, that person was Keith and usually, that turned things into a mudball fight. A big, messy, slippery, staining mudball fight.

Keith nodded without a word, hand going to lace through one of Lance’s as they stood on the balcony. “Where are the others?” He asked after just soaking in the rays for a little while longer. They had been cooking, which meant Hunk was cooking, and the other’s were loitering around and using the cover of ‘being helpful’ to steal bites and nibbles as if Hunk was not very aware that they were doing it. But no matter how many times they would be chased out of the kitchen with a spoon, like unruly kittens, they would eventually migrate back toward the smell of food to bother the chef some more.

Lance rubbed his cheek against Keith’s loose hair as he answered. “Got kicked out, it was Pidge’s fault.” He replied with a haughty sniff, which meant it was definitely Lance’s fault, and he just didn’t want to admit it. He took a deep inhale, nose tucked into Keith’s hair before speaking again. “Shiro went to go help the neighbor with her twenty evil giant dogs. What kind of crazy guy likes taking so many giant dogs for a run when on break??” he asked incredulously as Keith laughed.

“She has three, very sweet and not at all evil dogs and they are well behaved, they just do not seem to like you.” He replied, turning to kiss Lance’s cheek to soothe his pout. “I don’t see why not!” Lance couldn’t help the upward quirk of his lips, however. “Pidge go back to catching up on their forums?” He guessed, knowing how much the green paladin enjoyed trolling ‘alien hunters’ at this point. It had become something of a game for them, using various emails and usernames and a slew of images to get the forums all up in a froth. Only a small portion were any real photos of aliens, most were off center and blurry images of the team. ‘Cryptids’, they’d called them.

“Naw, went to go hit the pool. I think their last ‘cryptid picture’ broke the forum.” Keith could not help but start laughing, knowing damn well that the ‘cryptid’ was just a only somewhat blurry and out of focus Shiro after falling into what amounted to mostly swamp water but a weird shade of very gross purple. It took 6 hours to get the stuff out of his hair alone, nevermind his clothes.

His laugh was infectious however, and soon Lance was laughing as well, the two ending up clinging to each other as they recalled just how miserable Shiro had been when the picture had been taken! Covered in gross looking goop that also smelled so weird. Of course being laughed at most likely did not help their case when he decided that revenge was a dish best served with bear hugs. Sticky, greasy, funky, swampy bear hugs.

“I can not believe it actually smelled like hot dogs of all things!” Keith giggled when they finally started to calm down, rubbing at his eyes with a few remaining snickers. “Not even the good ones, either. Stale ones that have been left in the water for two hours.” Lance added with a grimace, tongue sticking out of his mouth. A pregnant silence filled the air, not uncomfortable as the sound of laughing children drifted up from below once more.“This is nice.” He sighed, hand coming up to comfortably rest his chin on, while Lance did his best octopus impression. He had to shift his very bony chin a bit before they could settle down for a good cuddle, that thing could be a weapon all on its own.

“I think I recall a certain someone wondering if Hunk could cook it.” Lance commented, as if that someone had not been himself. The elbow he got for the comment was worth the laughing oof it wrung from him. “It was worth a shot!” He insisted, backing up when Keith turned to swat at him again. “Abuse! Betrayal! I knew this inevitable day would eventually come!” He shouted, dodging Keith’s swats in the most dramatic fashion he could manage on the balcony. “I expected the betrayal to come in space though! Not here on Earth, a double betrayal! You devious fiend!” Lance would have kept going, he had a few more lines in reserve after all, but he hit a pot and went down on his ass with a thud. Only for Keith to follow, not having expected there to suddenly be legs flailing right where he had been moving!

Down he went with a yelp and a thud, followed by another thud as one of the plants tipped over. Likely due to a limb flailing into it at some point. “Ow…” Lance whined, blinking a few times and lifting his head carefully to feel the back. A little bump, his elbow hurt more where he smacked it against the surprisingly solid flower pot. “You okay?” he asked, looking down at an almost comically confused looking Keith.

“....pft..” Lance watched as Keith started to snicker, making a valiant effort to stifle it only for it to grow into full blown laughter that drew Lance in. They lay there on the wooden flooring, pot dirt likely getting into Lance’s hair and laughed until they were crying. Every time one of them started to calm, they would look at the other and off they both would go once more. By the time they managed to calm themselves, they were both very lightheaded and wheezing.

“Oh...oh my stomach...please…” Lance wheezed, clutching onto Keith as if he could squeeze the giggles out of them both. Not a likely outcome but the best he could manage after laughing so hard. “...there is so much dirt in my hair..” he added after a moment, tone almost nearly petulant and grinned as it set Keith off for another round of short snickers.

“Quit that, my cheeks hurt” He gasped as he sat up slowly, rubbing said cheeks but his eyes were still smiling. “...Yeah you’re laying right in the dirt.” he informed Lance without a shred of mercy just to watch him groan about his precious locks. “Come on, up. Let’s fix this.” The pot itself had managed to survive quite well but the dirt and plant itself needed some rescuing. “Go see if there’s an open bag of soil while i find the broom?” He suggested, looking inside and spotting it just by the doorway.

Sweeping the dirt was easy enough and Keith was done before Lance returned, lugging a half full bag of dirt. “So..do you have any idea how to do this?” Lance asked as he set the bag down with a slight oof. Who knew just dirt was so heavy!

“Do what? Put dirt in a pot?” Keith replied slowly, not sure if Lance was messing with him or not. He looked between the pot and partially uprooted plant, camomile he thought, and back to Lance with a shrug. “Put the dirt in..?”

“Yeah but how do we tuck the plant in right” Lance clarified, nodding as Keith made a low ‘ooohh’ of understanding. That left two Paladins of Voltron standing there, staring at the pot and bag of dirt. Heroes of the Galaxy, bested by a potted plant.

“Okay..weelll...let's stand it up at least” Keith eventually suggested, kneeling to start fixing the very lopsided plant, settling it more standing in the pot. “Maybe just pat dirt in around it?” he said, shifting over so Lance could bring the bag closer.

By the time they were finished, both of them had filthy hands and Keith needed to sweep again but the plant looked pretty rescued. Leaning on the broom, Keith grinned at Lance. “I think that’s a solid point for team Voltron, yeah?” Lance threw a small pod of dirt at him before standing.

“Ugh I have dirt under my nails.” he complained, leading the way to the kitchen so they could wash up properly. At least it started as a proper wash up, but Lance shook his hand and it flicked water at Keith, who splashed him back and it was only not wanting to clean up another mess that prevented a water fight.

The two wandered back to the patio to let the sun finish drying them off, not wanting to waste the last bit of it before the rain started. Lance waited till Keith settled against the railing comfortably before plastering himself against his back and letting Keith take his weight with a grunt. There was some grumbling but Keith didn’t shrug him off and soon they settled down. Not even Lance’s pointy chin could ruin the moment by jabbing his poor shoulder.

“This is nice” Keith commented after long moments, hand having moved to lace his fingers with Lance’s own to squeeze gently.

“Yeah...wanna go play in the rain tonight?” Lance asked kissing Keith’s ear loudly, grinning at the half hearted kick that got him. “C’mooon, you know you wanna run around in the mud. I’ll bet we can coax Shiro to come bring us towels and then nail him with mud balls..” he cajoled, knowing he had him when Keith perked up.

“....Only if you can convince Pidge to hide as our secret backup when Shiro ends up tackling you into the mud again.” he bargained, closing his eyes into the sun again as Lance gave a cheer. It was good to be home.

#Voltron #Klance #fluff #sfw #Klance Reverse bang 2018

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