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gayenerd · 3 years ago

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I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here.

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

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crowdvscritic · 3 years ago

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round up // AUGUST 21

Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:

More than 200 movies

32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups

27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks

13 podcasts

12 books

2 concerts

There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like:

2 podcasts

2 albums

5 vampire movies

A conversation between two GOATs

A very funny dead guy

A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance

Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed

Here’s to another year!

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Jungle Cruise (2021)

Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)

Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.

4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)

My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.

5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Twilight series (2008-12)

I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous. But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10

7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny

You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways.

8. Wimbledon (2004)

Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. Career Opportunities (1991)

This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10

10. First Blood (1982)

Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

August Critic Picks

1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)

You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude.

2. Gene and Roger (2021)

Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.

3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)

Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.

4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)

Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!

6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

7. Respect (2021)

While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)

At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!

Also in August…

This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls. Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?

The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.

Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.

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yikesharringrove · 4 years ago

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I love your trans Stevie au so much! I was wondering were Stevie and billy already together when she came out or did they get together after?

I’m gonna write the big fic I have planned for mtf stevie, so I decided to explore something different than what my plan is for that one

modern

Under the cut for some very brief transphobia and a mention of self harm/vague intonations of suicide, Billy talks about his dad (nothing is graphic, but still thought I’d warn)

Billy figured he would be the talk of the damn town he stomped out the Camaro and into the school like he owned the place.

He thought everyone would stare at the vintage muscle car, thought girls would whisper behind their hands as he walked down the hall.

And as he looked across the parking lot, he got a taste of what he wanted, saw a few curious glances to his California plates.

But then a sleek black BMW pulled into the space next to his, a beautiful brunette girl getting out of the driver’s seat.

It was like a hush fell over the lot.

Everyone stared at her as she walked into the school, head held high, shoulders back.

Billy followed her into the school, watching her closely.

Her hands trembled as she opened her locker, carefully placing textbooks inside.

He wanted to know what her deal was.

He leaned against her locker.

“You new here, too?” She looked over at him, smiling weakly.

“In a way.” He held out his hand.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Stevie Harrington.” He took her hand in his, made sure to smirk just so.

“You think you could help me find my first period? I just moved here, and didn’t manage to get a tour before the first day.” She flushed a little.

“Um, can I see your schedule?” She scanned over it.

“Oh man, you’ve got Andrews for English. She was a nightmare. I had her two years ago.” Billy furrowed his brows.

“I thought you were new-”

“Harrington’s a fucking tranny!” Stevie’s reaction was immediate.

The second the shout came from down the hall, she slammed her locker shut, shoving Billy’s schedule at him.

“Have a good first day.” She practically ran down the hall.

Billy looked back at the group of rowdy guys, all laughing as Stevie darted down the hall.

“Hey! What the fuck?” Billy stomped up to them, shoving the one that yelled against the lockers. “Don’t fucking say that!”

“Dude, that’s fucking Alex Harrington. He like, disappeared last year. He’s a fucking tra-”

Billy didn’t let him finish the sentence.

Punched him square in the nose.

“Don’t ever fucking using that word. You’re fucking disgusting.” He glared at each of the guys in turn. “If I fucking see, or hear, or get any kinda wind of y’all fucking with her, I’m gonna break all ‘a your noses.”

He smirked as they fucking cowered.

Yeah. Bow to your new fucking King.

He found Stevie back at her locker a few minutes into the lunch period.

He leaned on the lockers next to hers again.

“This place fucking sucks.” She gave him an odd look. “Apparently y’all have to eat in the cafeteria. At my old school, I used to eat out on the football field.”

“Yeah, we don’t really have a football field.” She closed her locker quietly. She was fidgeting with her hands.

“You don’t got a lucnh?”

“I, uh, I usually buy it. But I don’t really wanna, wanna face everyone in there.” Her voice was small, and she was avoiding eye contact.

“I could bring you something. Or stand in line with you, or something.” She looked up at him, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Is this a joke?”

“No?”

“Or like, like a prank?”

“No. I’m really offering.” He tried to keep his face open, wanted her to trust him.

“Um, I guess it would be okay if you stood with me.” They set off down the hall. “But you don’t have to sit with me, or anything.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She huffed a laugh.

“Did you hear what Tommy yelled this morning?”

“Yeah, I did. Punched him out for it.” Stevie stopped in her tracks, whirling around to look incredulously at Billy.

“You what?”

“He shouldn’t’ve said that.”

“Billy, he wasn’t lying-”

“That’s not what I meant. He shouldn’t have used that specific word, and he shouldn’t’ve fucking outed you. It’s your choice if you want to be out or not.” Her eyes were even fucking bigger than usual as she looked at him.

“I mean, I don’t really have a choice in a town this size. Especially because, because everyone knew me before.”

“Still, it was fucked up. And that wasn’t okay.” They began walking again.

“Um, thank you, Billy. I was wondering who busted Tommy’s face. He’s gotta big mouth. Gets punched a lot.” Billy laughed, and was delighted to see Stevie give him a little half smile.

The smile was gone when they reached the cafeteria.

But Billy stayed in line next to Stevie. She insisted on buying him a cookie, but he split it in half when they found a table in the back corner of the cafeteria, nudging part of it over to her.

She was tense all through lunch, waiting for something to happen.

Billy reached across the table, taking her hand.

“You’re really brave. You know that, right?” She bit her lip.

“I’m so fucking scared.”

“I know you are. And honestly, it makes sense you’re scared. But I’m here for you, and if anyone gets fresh, they can fucking catch these hands.” She laughed softly.

“Thank you. I really don’t think I could’ve made it today without you.” She took a shaky breath. “You know, I came out to my parents a few years ago. They were, it was bad. And I had to, you know stay in the closet. And at the end of last year, in like, Novemner I, I went through some stuff, and I just, I snapped. I tried to hurt myself. And I think it really opened my mom’s eyes that, that I wasn’t faking. So she talked my dad into letting me transition.” She was playing with her napkin.

“Thank you for telling me.” Billy squeezed her hand. “We moved here because my dad got arrested. And he wanted to come start fresh.”

“Do you, can I ask why he got arrested?”

“He broke my collarbone. Pushed me down the porch stairs. Our neighbors saw.”

“Billy, oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not really, but I just wanted you to know. I get the shitty parent thing.” She smiled at him.

“Would you, would you want to come over? After school?” Her cheeks were a little flushed.

“I’d love to.”

Stevie had neglected to tell him that she lived in a fucking mansion.

Billy stared at it as he parked behind her.

“When the fuck were you gonna tell me you were loaded?” She blushed.

“Um, I kinda forget you’re not from here. That you don’t already know all my business.”

She led him upstairs to her bedroom. It was immaculately clean, but so very plain.

“My mom was real serious about designing our whole house. She’s in the process of redoing my room right now. I mean, I didn’t really mind, but I think she’s trying to make amends, really show me she accepts me.” Billy sat down at her desk as she made a home for herself on the bed.

“That’s pretty cool of her.”

“Yeah. She’s trying. My dad still calls me Alex most days, though.”

“Do you mind if I ask you why you picked Stevie?”

“Um, Stevie Nicks, actually. I just really respect her and I always liked the name.”

“God, my mom loved Fleetwood Mac. She had all their albums on vinyl, and we’d listen to Tusk, and just like, scream it.”

“Your mom sounds nice.” Billy smiled tightly at her.

“She was.” Stevie’s eyes went wide.

“I’m sorry.” Billy shrugged.

“My stepmom’s not too bad. And my little sister’s a hoot. She’s such a little spitfire, you two would so get along.” He sat back in the desk chair, looking at the things on her desk.

There was a jar she had written on with gold sharpie. It had a few bills and was about half full of change. Curling handwriting spelled Pussy Fund. Billy snorted when he saw it. He held it up to her.

“Pussy Fund?” She laughed.

“I was gonna call it the Coochie Collection but that felt a little crass.”

“That felt crass?” She laughed again.

“My dad’s insurance covers hormones, but nothing else, really, so I’m saving up for confirmation surgery.” Billy dug through his pocket, found three wadded bills, slapping them through the little opening in the top of the jar. “Billy, wait, you don’t have to-”

“Oh, come on. It’s three bucks. You’re my only friend in this damn town. Gonna support the garbage outta you.” She beamed at him.

He phone chimed.

“Oh, hell yeah. It’s hormone o’clock.” She pulled a black bag out of her backpack. She rifled through it, loading a syringe. “Okay, I’ll be back.” She closed the bathroom door softly behind her.

He peaked at the contents of the back. She had a few pills, needles in sterile packaging, antiseptic wipes, sanitizer and latex gloves. Billy stood up to look at the little bottle of clear liquid, estrogen.

She smiled brightly when she came out of the bathroom.

“How long have you been on hormones?” She cleaned up her little bag.

“Um, since January 6th. So just about nine months now. I was just on blockers for a while, and then they introduced the estrogen. And I though giving myself shots was gonna be a big nightmare, but I actually kinda like it.”

“I think that makes sense. It’s helping you.”

“Well, and I feel like everything changed so fast, like looking at pictures from before, I look so different. It’s like my body was just waiting to catch up to my brain.”

“I think it was. Just needed a push in the right direction.”

“Plus, I was always kind of a pretty boy. Like, once I figured out how to do my makeup, how to soften some of the edges, it was pretty easy to really feminize my face.” She stood in front of him, showing her a picture on her phone. “That was from like, last October.”

It was a nice selfie, and she looked quite similar. In the image, Stevie’s hair was shorter, but still closer to her shoulders.

But Billy thinks there was a huge difference between the Stevie in the picture, and the Stevie right in front of him.

Her cheeks were fuller now, her eyes brighter. Her hair was long, bu it was also way thicker.

She just looked so much fucking happier.

“You look a lot happier, now.”

“I am. A lot happier.” She was quiet, swiping through a few more old photos.

“I’m happy for you.” Billy reached out for her, touching her waist softly. “Would you, would you want to go on a date sometime?”

She took a step back.

“Look, you can say no, and I’ll still happily be your friend, I just, I like you a lot, Stevie.

“I um, I don’t know.” She sat heavily on her bed. “Last year, I was dating this girl. We had been together for like, a few months, and I really, I really loved her. So I came out to her, and she, she called me a freak, and disgusting, and stuff.” She was hugging herself, looking the floor.

“Is that one of the things that made you snap?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. We don’t have to date, that’s okay, Stevie. Focus on yourself. I’m still your friend.”

“I think, I think I do want to date you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I mean, you already know all my baggage. And I’ve known you for like, ten hours.”

“Don’t pressure yourself into something if you’re not ready to date.”

“It’s been almost a year, Billy. And I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy in that year.” She looked up at him, her eyes bright. “Yeah, I wanna go on a date with you.”

And then she did the cutest little wiggle, moving her hips like she couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Friday night? Pick you up at eight?”

“Better make it seven. Things close early around here.”

“You honestly might be the only good thing about this fucking town.”

#yikes writes #tw transphobia #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #trans steve harrington #trans steve #trans!steve harrington #trans!steve #mtf!steve #mtf!steve harrington

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taste-in-music · 5 years ago

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My Favorite Hit Songs of 2019

This year’s crop of popular music was... absolutely bonkers? I mean, this year we had Billie Eilish crash into the mainstream, Lizzo managed to get multiple hits out of songs she released nearly three years ago, the Jonas Brothers made a comeback, and the longest-running #1 hit in Billboard history became a rap/country crossover that got its start on Tik Tok made by a complete nobody and the dad from Hannah Montana. I’m going to admit, this list was pretty hard to put together, as I found it hard to find 10 songs that I genuinely loved that were hits this year. Despite that, the sheer absurdity of this year’s popular music gave me a spark of hope going into the new decade. For this list, I’ll be selecting my favorite songs off of Billboard’s year end Hot 100 songs list. I’m ready to recount this year in music, so...

10) Sucker by Jonas Brothers I never watched the Jonas Brothers show or listened to their music back when they were big on Disney, so I’ve got no nostalgic investment in them. However, this was a fun comeback to watch play out. This song was pretty dang good for a while, with the funky guitars and the instantly catchy lyrics. It reminded me of “Feel It Still” by Portugal. The Man. Then it got the point where three separate radio stations were playing it at the same time, and now I can barely stand it. I think that after the radio releases this song from its clutches it will warm up on me again though, because I do like it overall.

9) Better by Khalid The strongest attribute of this song is its ATMOSPHERE. The beat, melody, and vocal delivery all compliment one another perfectly, combining to create a smooth, almost sexy sound that washes over you with ever listen. I also like the Daft-Punk-y vocoded lines that pop in at the end, they’re so unexpected and yet they fit in perfectly. I've always loved Khalid’s vocal timbre, it’s so chill and yet warm at the same time. The only thing I can’t praise about this is the lyrics, because I have no clue what they are. Khalid, bless his sweet soul, cannot enunciate. It’s the same problem I have with Ariana Grande. I love your voice, I want to know what you’re saying!

8) Trampoline by SHAED Give me the hipster points, because guess who knew about this song before it was cool! I’ve loved SHAED’s music for some time now, so it’s been thrilling to watch this song climb the charts and for them to get the recognition and success that they deserve. While this song isn’t my favorite by them, (that slot would probably be reserved for “Perfume” or “Melt,”) it does showcase the group’s strengths, which are emotive vocals and glossy electronic production. I love the effervescent backing vocals and bubbling keys that pepper this song, it gives the song a floaty feel while still keeping it tense.

7) Old Town Road by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus I can’t think of a piece of music in recent memory that has captured the public’s attention so swiftly and so completely, and you know what? Sometimes something gets big because it’s good. This song, despite all the memes and jokes and radio play and oversaturation, never ever got old to me. Every time it comes on, it puts a giant, goofy smile on my face, and I sing along to the whole thing. I want Lil Nas X to stick around, but even if he doesn’t, I want what this song represents, genre blending, trend-bucking, and a sense of fuck-it fun, to stay.

6) bury a friend by Billie Eilish Out of all the strange hits we had this year, this was the weirdest one to hear on the radio. It doesn’t have a classic structure! It’s about the monster under your bed! It’s got nothing but a shuffle beat, bass, and the sound of dental drill! It just doesn’t belong on the airwaves next to songs like “ME!” or “I Don’t Care.” Despite that, I’m beyond happy that Billie Eilish is bringing a bit of emo weirdness to the mainstream, because if the success of her music, specifically this song, says anything, it’s that pop is heading in a far scarier and more experimental direction. And I’m on board with that.

5) break up with your girfriend, i’m bored by Ariana Grande The groove on this song is fantastic. The combination of eerie synths, bass, reverbed backing vocals, and rolling snares makes it feel tight and controlled, but also loose and flowing at the same time. There was a lot of pushback against this song due the sentiment of the lyrics, but it’s not like Ariana is unaware that she’s the bad guy in this position. There’s enough indifference and sarcasm in her delivery to show that she’s self aware. This was probably my favorite out of the hit singles from the thank u, next era, (”thank u, next” is great but got a bit old to me, and I don’t care for “7 Rings.”)

4) Circles by Post Malone This is embarrassing to admit, because I rarely, if ever, enjoyed any music Post Malone has put out in the past. But this song just hits different. The instrumental feels more acoustic-driven and has a nice pulse to it, projecting a warmth and comfort that none of his other songs have. This was a perfect hit for Autumn, being chill and relaxing enough for Summer, but the underlying bass groove makes you want to move into the productive patterns of the school year. If Post Malone made more music like this I’d reckon I’d enjoy his music quite a bit.

3) Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith ft. Normani Sometimes radio filler turns out to be spectacular. The ambiance this track builds is relaxing but in an otherworldly kind of way, forming a soundscape of echoing drums and whispering synths. I’ve always stood by the opinion that Sam Smith sounds really good with an electronic beat under them, it helps their great voice move in a more free-flowing way. Normani also sounds amazing on this song, her vocals dipping into smokier territory, and when the two sing together they play off one another’s performances with ease.

2) Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max Who predicted this in their last year’s hit song’s list? This bitch! I was so happy to see this hit the U.S. charts, you have no idea. It was such a breath of fresh air in that it was so splashy, sugar-sweet, and unabashedly pop. The lyrics are some of the silliest of the whole year, (”she’s poison but tasty” makes me chuckle every time,) but it doesn’t matter. The addictive melodies and the earnestness in Ava Max’s performance make them sound like Shakespearean poetry, or at least like she believes that they’re Shakespearean poetry.

Should Have Been Hits

Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift This should’ve been a single. I get why Taylor chose the singles she did, but this was primed to be a Summer smash, with the glossy synths and vocoded backing vocals and soaring chorus. We were robbed. Robbed, I tell you!

Graveyard by Halsey While “Without Me” got all the glory, this is my favorite of all the Halsey singles we’ve gotten so far by a wide margin. It’s the only one that I’ve made the conscious choice to listen to on my own time for one. I love the way the production rushes as the chorus hits, and the synths that sparkle throughout the verses, and Halsey’s reserved performance.

3 Nights by Dominic Fike This was a hit in the U.K., and I even heard it on a few alternative stations, so why no cross over? If there was any song that should have been the chill Summer hip hop hit, it should have been this. This song is weirdly addictive, the chorus is so inexplicably catchy that once you hear it one time through you will know all the words to it.

Blame It On Your Love by Charli XCX ft. Lizzo When the mainstream decide that it didn’t need Charli XCX? Because it’s wrong, it needs her very, very badly. The success of “1999″ in the U.K., the name recognition, and the Lizzo feature should’ve been more than enough to boost this onto the charts, but I guess we didn’t want an instantly catchy and fun EDM pop song on the radio. Oh well.

Motivation by Normani Normani and Lauren are my favorite Fifth Harmony members, so I’ve been rooting for their solo careers like nobody’s business. This single in particular had so much potential: a bouncy beat, a stamp of approval from Ariana Grande, and a kick-ass music video filled with impressive choreography. I hope this gets a bigger push into next year, because Normani is a wildly talented performer that deserves success outside of her collaborations.

Guilty Pleasures

bad guy by Billie Eilish This was a good song, just not my favorite off the album, or of the hits, (I prefer ”bury a friend,” obviously, and “when the party’s over,” which made last year’s list.) Still, watching this idiosyncratic little tune become one of the biggest pop smashes of the year was enthralling. Like “bury a friend,” it was so strange to hear this on the radio.

Close To Me by Ellie Goulding ft. Diplo & Swae Lee When a melody gets its claws in me, there’s nothing I can do about it. This is not Ellie Goulding at her best, (I’ll admit that I miss the days of “Lights,”) but the way she delivers the hook on this song is absolutely infectious. I’m not the biggest Swae Lee fan, but he’s fine here too. I never minded when this song came on the radio.

This year was a bit of a roller coaster for me. Needless to say, there were several instances where I felt quite a bit of stress and insecurity, and oftentimes, I would turn to music to make myself feel better. There was one song in particular that a friend of mine, @hasanminajs, introduced me to, that instantly became a beacon of self-appreciation and enjoyment to me throughout the year. And when I tell you that I have never been happier to hear a song on the radio than I have with this one, I'm telling the truth.

1) Truth Hurts by Lizzo I have never rooted for a song’s success like I have for this one, and watching a hip hop track this bouncy, confident, and enigmatic climb the charts was an absolute joy. There are so many great punchlines in this song, from “why men great till they gotta be great?” to “I don’t play tag bitch, I’ve been it,” to the ever-iconic “I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m 100% that bitch.” This song raised the standards for lyricism in the mainstream. I want Lizzo to be huge, I want her to be influential, I want her to be one of the biggest pop stars of the next decade if not longer. Everything about this song, from its production to its message to its performance makes me smile. And you know what? Sometimes that’s all that pop music needs to do.

Do you agree with this list? What were your favorite hit songs of 2019? Leave a comment and let me know!

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onestowatch · 5 years ago

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13 Music Podcasts You Should Be Listening to Right Now

In case you haven’t quite got the memo, Spotify is for a lot more than streaming Billie Eilish and a playlist made up of lo-fi chill beats on repeat. The past few years have witnessed a veritable boom of podcasts, from both self-made creators and massive media outlets, covering a whole spectrum of topics and niche interests. As someone who has listened to over 70 hours of “The Adventure Zone,” a Dungeons & Dragons podcast hosted by three brothers and their dad, in spite of never having once thought of actually playing a game of D&D, it is safe to say this is no passing fad.

Podcasts exist as an inside look into a host of worlds you never once considered exploring, and this goes equally true for music podcasts. From in-depth examinations of your favorite artists and their works to dramatized true crime–style narratives of legendary artists, these are the music podcasts you need to be listening to right now.

Also, if you needed even more music podcasts in your life, did you know Ones To Watch has its own battle-style podcast where four tracks enter the ring and only one leaves victorious?

Switched on Pop

There is no escaping pop music, so you may as well enjoy, examine, and eventually begin to understand why exactly it is so popular. At least, that’s the ethos behind musicologist Nate Sloan and songwriter Charlie Harding’s phenomenal podcast. Each episode sees the duo breaking down pop songs to posit the question of what makes a song like “bad guy” or “Old Town Road” a hit, and what is their cultural significance in the music landscape at large? Balancing lighthearted humor with critical analysis, Switched On Pop is a podcast that will have you loving music you never knew you liked in the first place.

Where to Start: “Billie Eilish is a Different Kind of Pop Star (ft. FINNEAS)”

Dissect

Dissect is a music nerd’s dream podcast. Hosted by Cole Cuchna, the hit podcast series is rare in that rather than jumping from topic to topic with each episode, each season of “Dissect” holds a magnifying glass to one prolific work of one seminal artist. From the mythos of Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly, Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Ms. Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, to Tyler, The Creator grappling with his sexuality on Flower Boy, there is no shortage of reasons of why you need to be listening to Dissect.

Where to Start: “S4E14 - Epilogue: IGOR”

Song Exploder

Song Exploder may just be the best interview series in existence, largely due to the podcast functioning as less of a traditional interview series and more as a vivid recollection of artist’s most heartfelt work. The podcast series features musicians from all walks of life, from Fleetwood Mac’s Lindsey Buckingham to Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon, taking apart a single one of their songs piece by piece. It is akin to your grandparents recounting one of their fondest memories to you, if your grandparents just so happened to be world-renowned artists.

Where to Start: “Maggie Rogers - Alaska”

Disgraceland

In the wake of the massive popularity of True Crime podcasts like “Serial,” Disgraceland marries all there is to love about rock star worship and a culture’s obsession with the seedier aspects of the human condition. Blending music history, true crime, and transgressive fiction, Disgraceland is a dramatized retelling of some of music’s most enthralling criminal stories. Imagine the already engrossing stories of Tupac Shakur and The Notorious B.I.G. or Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, albeit told through an exhilarating and entertaining modern-noir lens.

Where to Start: “Amy Winehouse: Rehab, the Muse and a Rare Talent”

And The Writer Is…with Ross Golan

Have you ever wondered who is the person behind some of your favorite songs? Then And The Writer Is… is the podcast for you. Each episode takes you behind the closed doors of the music and into the songwriting room with some of the greatest songwriters and creatives of our generation. If you love anything by any of today’s biggest artists, then chances are they have probably appeared on an episode of And The Writer Is… to provide an inside glimpse into their creative process.

Where to Start: “EP 54: Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie)”

Questlove Supreme

You shouldn’t be listening to Questlove Supreme just because its host is none other than the infamous Questlove (although that would honestly be more than enough reason for us). For starters, Questlove Supreme arguably features some of the best guests out of any other podcast out there. Ever wanted to hear John Oliver talk about his transition from The Daily Show to shaping people’s political opinions regularly? Or ever wondered about Michelle Obama’s first musical memories? Then, good news, because Questlove Supreme has all you could ever need and so much more.

Where to Start: “Ep. 113 feat. Michelle Obama”

Twenty Thousand Hertz

Twenty Thousand Hertz is likely the most prominent outlier on this list. That is not to say this is not a podcast of note, equally as deserving of your precious listening hours; Twenty Thousand Hertz simply does not address music or artists in the traditional sense. Rather, this is an examination of the sounds, the sonic textures, and the crucial building blocks that have allowed artists to create works that truly move people. Twenty Thousand Hertz is not just for music lovers, but for those who appreciate the perfectly intangible idea of sound as a simultaneously human-constructed and natural concept.

Where to Start: “#72 | 808”

Punch Up The Jam

Punch Up The Jam is a comedy and music podcast. How does that work exactly? Well, comedians and best friends Miel Bredouw and Demi Adejuyigbe invite one of their equally hilarious friends to attempt to fix a popular song, despite having absolutely no qualifications so to speak of. Laughs are had, chaos ensues, and more laughs are had as Punch Up The Jam begs the question: do you need to know anything about music to improve a hit song?

Where to Start: 77 - “Kiss From a Rose (w/ Travis McElroy)”

All Songs Considered

It would be impossible to create a definitive list of music podcasts without mentioning NPR's All Songs Considered. The nearly 20-year-old series has grown with the times, evolving from a lauded radio show to an award-receiving podcast. The generation-spanning medium for music discovery is hosted by Bob Boilen and Robin Hilton, and often features a range of guests that makes this already much-celebrated podcast into essential listening material.

Where to Start: “All Songs Rewind: The Worst Songs Of All Time?”

Hit Parade

For Hit Parade, the phrase “it’s a smash” is more than just A&R short-hand for any passing song they hear in mid-production; it is the genesis of music history. Produced by Slate, pop chart analyst Chris Molanphy seeks to uncover what exactly it was that made a song a number one smash. More than just a terribly informative music podcast, Hit Parade changes up its formula through bouts of trivia, music snippets, and enthralling storytelling.

Where to Start: “The Oh. My. God. Becky Edition”

Popcast

The best way to understand the very notion and ever-changing minutia of popular music is Popcast. Hosted by New York Times pop critic Jon Caramanica, Popcast homes in on not just what is trending on the Billboard charts but what is trending, period. From Taylor Swift and Scooter Braun’s ongoing civil war, the perplexing economics of the streaming era, to how memes can create bonafide artists, Popcast is what you need to be listening to in order to sound erudite at your next dinner party, even if you find yourself in spirited discourse over Lil Nas X.

Where to Start: “How Many Streams Is a T-Shirt Worth? Breaking Down Chart Dilemmas.”

Ongoing History of New Music

This next podcast is dedicated to all our lovely Canadian readers, or really anyone who is looking for an enlightening deep dive into music’s most notable artists and movements. Hosted by legendary Canadian radio broadcaster and music journalist Alan Cross, Ongoing History of New Music is Canada’s most well-known music documentary series. Featuring artists profile from the likes of Radiohead to Twenty One Pilots, narrative journeys of everything from Christian Rock to Britpop, and even the etymology behind some of music’s most elusive terminology, Ongoing History of New Music is a musical history wellspring.

Where to Start: “Stories Behind Songs”

The Great Albums

The Great Albums is a podcast series wholly true to its name. In unexpected yet utterly delightful fashion, co-hosts Bill Lambusta and Brian Erickson delve into some of pop, rock, and beyond’s greatest moments and musical accomplishments. More than just a track by track review of a seminal work from the likes of Jay-Z, Joni Mitchell, and Sufjan Stevens, The Great Albums is an examination of the notion of fandom and how that love affair is expressed through the lens of the prolific album.

Where to Start: “Radiohead - OK Computer”

#switched on pop #dissect #song exploder #disgraceland #and the writer is #questlove supreme #twenty thousand hertz #punch up the jam #all songs considered #hit parade #popcast #ongoing history of new music #the great albums #podcast #music podcast

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staticscreenwriting · 7 years ago

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Everything there is - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Billy’s mom is not dead in this one. She has a boyfriend though and Billy isn’t sure if he fits into this new family dynamic.

A/N: I like this story it was fun to write. I do hate the header image though, it didn’t work out the way I wanted it but at least I hope the writing is good. Hope you enjoy, feedback is very much appreciated ♥

“ I can't remember what I used to do Who I trusted whom, I listened to before I swear you've taught me everything I know Can't imagine needing someone so But through the years it seems to me I need you more and more “

Iron Maiden’s Wrathchild is blasting from his stereo, as Billy Hargrove lays on the floor of his childhood bedroom. A sweltering, clammy heat has taken over California and the floor seems to be the only place providing some kind of cooling.

The gray muscle shirt is sticking to his skin like a damn glove and he feels disgusting. It’s like all the whining he’d done about it not being warm enough in Indiana, has finally come back to bite him in the ass.

Sure he could go downstairs where there are actual working fans in several rooms that still possess all of their blades, unlike the one in his room. He could go downstairs in favor of a less sticky, less uncomfortable surrounding but really he’ll take sweaty balls over the shit downstairs any day.

Going downstairs means dealing with Craig. Dealing with his mom. Dealing with his mom and Craig. As a couple. As a family. As two people who don’t seem to be able to stop kissing and hugging and touching like a bunch of teenagers who have just discovered french kissing for the first time in their goddamn lives. A couple who bought a cat together, a fat ginger one, and called it Cat Benatar. Who do crossword puzzles together over the breakfast table and watch game shows cuddled up on the sofa every saturday evening and who go to concerts together and road trips and dates to the bowling alley. A couple who’s happy. A family that’s complete.

Going downstairs means seeing all of this and realizing once again how out of place he is here. How much he doesn’t fit into this life, this family. How happy his mom is. Without him.

It’s half an hour later and an entire run through the Killers album again, that a knock sounds at Billy’s door.

He grumbles a “come in” and hopes the person doesn’t hear it and just assumes he’s asleep or busy — or dead, and leaves him alone.

They don’t.

Craig, all blue eyes and over the top toothpaste commercial smile, sticks his head through the slightly opened door and looks at Billy as if he’s about to drop some life changing news, like a lottery win or something.

He doesn’t.

Instead he approaches Bill with a “Hey Bud” effectively wanting Billy to punch himself unconscious so he never has to hear anyone, let alone this complete stranger, call him Bud. Or champ. Or any of those weird ass nicknames Craig has been hurling at him since him and mom had picked him up from the airport.

Billy is 18, not 8. Those nicknames stopped being funny or endearing a while ago and at 18 they’re pretty much just creepy.

Also he’s not Craig’s Buddy in the first place so he doesn’t know where he got that idea from.

“ You wanna come downstairs for lunch ? Your mom made some sandwiches. Asked her to add some extra bacon. I heard you like that. I can remember when I was your age I would put bacon on literally everything”.

Billy finds it hard to even imagine this slightly balding, stach wearing man with the paint splattered jeans and the ridiculous CCR shirt, as an actual living teenager. It feels like Craig just came out of the womb all boring and bad jokes and all.

“ ‘m not really hungry, thanks though “:

He doesn’t want to be rude or ungrateful, he really doesn’t. It’s just that sitting down at the kitchen table with his mom and Craig is just gonna end up being a torture for him and he doesn’t want to end up saying something that would hurt his mom. They’re gonna ask about College and School and Friends and, god forbid, his love life. He really doesn’t fancy any of those talks. Especially not with Craig.

“ I know man, but your mom really wants to spend some time with you. Come on, give her that. She missed you “.

Billy thinks that’s the biggest bullshit of the century. Clearly his mom hasn’t missed him all that much. She went and got a whole nother life. A better one. A happy one. While she sent him to live with his dad who they both know doesn’t give two shits about Billy. Clearly she hasn’t missed him enough to have him over for Christmas instead of going on a trip to Montana with her new boyfriend.

She hasn’t missed him at all he feels like.

But she’s still his mom and even if she breaks his heart he will never be able to break hers. Because despite it all she’s still one of the few people he has ever truly loved.

“ Alright “ He murmurs and gets off the floor, shirt sticking to his back. In that moment he kinda misses his dad’s old home in California, it might’ve been a shitty run down place but it had a little pool in the back and that was basically heaven to Billy.

As he follows Craig downstairs, he can hear his mom hum along to Hall and Oates. She’s in a summer dress and her hair is up in some intricate braids and Billy almost doesn’t recognize her. This isn’t the woman that stayed behind while he was sent away. Back then she was all tired eyes and messy hair and sweater sleaves pulled over her hands. This woman had her shit together in the best way possible. Billy isn’t sure he’ll ever fit into this equation.

“ There’s my boy. Come sit “ she exclaims as she spots Billy waking into the kitchen and pats the barstool by the kitchen isle where a plate is already waiting for him.

Billy can’t remember the last time his mom made a home cooked meal for him. Back when he was a little boy she had a habit of trying out the most ridiculous dishes from her own mother’s cookbook, which usually resulted in the entire family feasting on a big cheesy pizza because she burned the dish. When things got bad between her and his dad, she stopped trying all together.

Sitting down at the kitchen isle, Billy starts chomping down on the sandwich. It’s not the most outrageous and delicious 4 course meal but there’s bacon and cheese and that’s basically all he needs.

For a moment he feels like a kid again, who’s mom greets him after school with sandwiches and juice boxes and hugs and love.

Then he notices that neither his mom nor Craig seem to be eating anything. In fact, they’re not even sitting down. They’re cooped together, Craigs arm around his mother’s waist as they both intensely focus on Billy himself.

“ You guys alright ? “

“ Yes, yes. Of course “ his mom exclaims, her words coming out jumbled and too quick for Billy’s liking. There’s something she isn’t telling him and it’s both annoying and hurtful.

“ Actually we are more than alright “ Craig speaks up from beside her.

There’s this look in both their eyes of excitement and joy but also fear of judgement and anxiety. Whatever it is they’re trying to tell him, Billy isn’t sure he’s going to like it very much.

His half eaten sandwich now completely abandoned, Billy raises his eyebrows in question.

“ What’s that supposed to mean then ? “

“ I — “ his mom starts and takes a deep breath before continuing “ we. We have something to tell you. There’s a reason I asked you to come visit me this summer. Not only because I missed you but also because there’s something really big you need to know “.

She pauses again and Billy feels like every second that goes by he gets a little more sick to his stomache.

“ What is it, mom ? “

“ Craig asked me to marry him and I said yes. The wedding is next saturday and I — Billy I just really wanted you there for it. We’re just gonna keep it real small. Get married at the courthouse and then have a tiny celebration at the Comet View. There’ll be dancing and drinks and good food. You know, just a fun night “.

Billy feels like he just drank and entire bottle of ice cold water in one go. His insides are frozen, his mind is frozen. There’s something about these news that make it impossible for him to process them. It’s like a thunderstorm crashing down on him in the middle of an Indiana winter.

A relationship was one thing but marriage ? Marriage is big and it means a lot and it’s — forever. And it feels like that might just completely close the door on Billy ever being a part of his mother’s life that isn’t just a visit every few months if at all.

“ Billy ? “

He realises that they expect and answer. A congratulation. Something. But can he really pretend to be happy about something that might just break his heart entirely ?

Yes he can.

Pretending is all he ever does.

“ Mom that’s — good. Congrats. Really, that’s great “.

He hugs his mom and shakes Craig’s hand and he needs to get out. The nerves in his fingers and and his toes are tingling and his heart is beating at a speed he’s sure it shouldn’t be. He’s hot and cold and everything in between and he needs to be somewhere else.

Somewhere he feels happy and safe and calm and comfortable and — like home.

Somewhere with his girl.

He knew he’d find her here. It’s her place, their place.

While the tourists and the loved up couples and the families mostly flocked to the pier, (Y/N) and Billy had found their own little spot of heaven and calm in the form of an abandoned beach watch tower further down the shore where the driftwood accumulated and the white sand wasn’t as picture perfect.

But it was theirs. Unofficially sure but it was. He hopes it still is.

“ Hey Chewie, didn’t expect to see you here “.

It’s like no time has passed and yet it feels like another life completely. She’s there in her shorts that are way too tiny to even be called that and shades on her face shaped like stars. There’s a sunhat on her head and a book in her hand and he’s sure he’s never seen anyone more perfect.

She is his poison and his cure all wrapped in one big mess of a girl. She is perfect and flawed, complicated and so well put together. She is everything and all.

He wishes he could’ve stayed. Wishes that the future he had so desperately wanted to have with her wasn’t but a mere dream to wander off to at nights he couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

He wishes she would still love him. And that the universe would work out for him for once, so he could allow himself to love her more.

“ Why am I Chewbacca ? “

“ The hair ?! “ she says and motions to his curly mullet. There’s a laugh hidden in her words and it makes the anxious tingles in his fingers disappear for a moment.

“ Fair enough. What makes you Han then ? “

“ Well, you always made sure I shot first “.

Billy almost chokes on his own spit right then. This beautiful girl with a smile that can compete with the sun, spouts dirty jokes so casually like there’s nothing about it. But that’s who she is, who she’s always been. And Billy’s heart aches so much when he realises just how much he missed her.

“ Come here you big Wookie ! “ she exclaims, takes off her shades, and pulls Billy into a hug. She’s all warm and familiar and she smells like the ocean and her signature Opium perfume that Billy knows so well because he used to buy her a new one every Christmas.

He kisses her head softly like old times. Like when things were good and they were happy and they didn’t have a lot but they had each other and that was really all the needed. Now he has a shitty room in a shitty house in a shitty town. With people he can’t stand and a family that shouldn’t even be allowed to be called a family.

And she has —

He honestly doesn’t know because he never bothered to call. Not only did he want a clean cut to make it possible for her to move on eventually, but he was also a fucking coward and calling her, hearing her voice, hearing she was happy without him would’ve killed him.

“ You doing good ? “ he asks and almost has a heart attack as she looks up at him with her big beautiful eyes that hold so much love he can’t even fathom it properly.

“ I’m okay. What about you ? “

He could lie. Tell her how amazing his life is and how happy he is. How it doesn’t break his heart to see his mother move on to a life that he has no place it. How Hawkins is all he ever dreamed of and how he doesn’t miss her like crazy.

He could, but he doesn’t.

He’s done a lot of shit in his part, still does a lot of shit, but one thing he’s never done, is lie to (Y/N).

She’s always been his person. The one that you can’t and don’t ever lie to. She knows him inside out and accepts him still. All faults and issues and baggage.

You don’t lie to people like that.

“ Mom’s getting married “.

He wants to say so much more because there’s so much more bubbling inside of him but he has absolutely no idea how to put them into words. It’s too much, too fast. So he leaves it at that.

“ I know “

“ You do ? “

“ Yeah. Just because you left doesn’t mean I stopped all contact with your family “

That makes him feel a little better although he doesn’t really know why. Maybe it’s because it reminds him that she was so much more than just some highschool girlfriend. She was his girl. Part of his family. And knowing that some part of that stayed, some part of that is still there, makes him happy.

“ Also, I don’t know if you recall but my dad owns the place where the reception is held so even if she didn’t ask me to be her maid of honor I still would’ve found out about it “.

“ She asked you to be what now ?!”

“ The maid of honor. Look Billy, when you left it was hard on both of us and we kind of bonded over that. “

That was ridiculous, his mom sent him away it’s not like he had left on his own accord. He didn’t want to leave, he would’ve given everything and more to be able to stay. But he was a minor and both his parents had decided leaving for Indiana was the better choice. That was a fucking bullshit decision.

“ I don’t think I can do this “

“ Do what ? “

“ Watch her getting married. It’s like she’s starting this completely different life that makes her so happy. And don’t get me wrong I want her to be happy. But that life began without me and it’s gonna end without me. There’s no place for me. I don’t fit in there, (Y/N). I’m not part of this future. I’m not part of this family. “

(Y/N) untangles her arms from around his waist and takes a step back.

“ Billy, what do you think your mom did when you left ? “

“ I don’t know “ he says and shrugs his shoulders. He hasn’t really spent any thoughts on that. In his mind his mom was doing what she always did, only without him. “ Meeting men apparently. Falling in love. Being happy “.

“ You are delusional “

“ I’m sorry ? “

“ Billy I know this is not something you wanna hear but your mom wasn’t a saint before you left. She wasn’t happy but that wasn't your fault. You were her happiness, everything else was what made her unhappy. I know you see her as this superwoman who always did everything perfectly and who could do no wrong. But that’s not the person she was. You know what she did when you left ? She got help. Went to therapy, tried to fix her life so by the time you were done with highschool and maybe decided to return, she would be better. So she could be the woman you always thought she was. Everything she does, everything she did, was for you. She didn’t send you away because she didn’t want you here. It broke her heart to see you leave. She sent you away so she could fix herself without relying on you to pick up the pieces if things didn’t work out “.

Billy swallows the huge metaphorical lump that’s built in his throat while he listened to (Y/N)’s words. He had always known that his mother wasn’t happy and that she didn’t really have her shit together the way other mothers did. But he never thought it was this bad.

And maybe being angry at her was easier than admitting that she wasn’t this fearless, invincible saint he had always pictured her as.

“ She didn’t get better because you weren’t there, Billy. She went out and did something to change her life so she would be better once you came back. “

He wants to cry. He wants to scream and yell and punch something. Because life is terribly unfair and his mother of all people doesn’t deserve to ever feel unhappy. He wants to cry, but he doesn’t. Because it’s not what he does.

Instead he pulls (Y/N) back into an embrace. It’s sticky and gross but it’s what he needs. Because she’s his sun and his stars and his home and the one person to always align his planets and put things into perspective when he’s losing his head.

“ I don’t want to leave again “

He hasn’t said it out loud before but he’s been thinking about it for a while. Ever since he stepped a foot back into his childhood home. This is the place he wanted to be and even though with Craig around it all felt like things had shifted slightly, it was still better than Hawkins.

This was his home. His heart.

This was where his mom was and this weird new family she was creating with Craig and Cat Benatar. But maybe they could make some room for him in that constellation. He really didn’t need much space. Really.

“ Then don’t. “

“ You think they’d let me stay ? “

“ Billy, your mom is missing a piece of her heart whenever you’re not here. She’s got a proper job now and a wonderful man in her life that you should really give a chance. “

“ And a fat ginger cat. “

“ And a fat ginger cat ! She’s got her life figured out pretty well, you’re the only thing that’s missing. It’s ridiculous that you even consider the possibility of her not letting you stay “.

She softly combs her fingers through his hair like she always did when they were cuddled up on her couch or in the back of his car. He had missed this girl so much.

“ I’m missing a part of my heart to, you know ? “ he says and takes her face between hands.

“ You are ? “

“ Mmmmh … I got not one to watch shitty horror movies with. Got no one to steal my fries and eat the pickles off my burgers. “

“ What else ? “ she ask and rubs her nose against his.

“ There’s no one there to make fun of my mullet and then later hold onto it when I make them see stars. There’s no one to make me shitty apple pancakes. No one to sing along to Whitesnake with and no one to call me out on my shit. No one to keep me from falling apart. No one to love me. Not the way you do. Not even close. “

“ I love you Billy Hargrove and I miss eating your fries and all the burger pickles. “

When she kisses him, she tastes like the ocean and the sun and pink lemonade and home.

Billy Hargrove’s heart beats at an alarming speed as he walks his mom down the little courthouse corridor. It’s a good feeling though. It’s excitement rather than anxiety. It’s a feeling that something is changing, for her and for him. Maybe this can be a step into a new life, one that he can be a part of if he makes an effort. One that he is no doubt accepted into.

His mom cried when he had told her he wanted to stay. Good tears. Happy tears.

He kisses her cheek as he puts her hand into Craigs. Craig who turns out to be a huge Metalhead. Craig who’s quoting shitty B-Movie Horror flicks. Craig who saw something in Billy he didn’t know was there and helped him get a part time job at a garage specialized on muscle cars and vintage vehicles with a good change of full employment after high school.

Craig who’s actually a pretty cool guy.

When he sits down, in the front row, (Y/N)’s hand slips into his and for that moment he’s sure his world, his universe, is as good as can be.

It’s later at the reception when he’s dancing with his mom. Yes, Billy is dancing. He’s a good dancer, okay ?! No shame !

His mom looks at him with that typical motherly stare of pride and unfiltered maternal love. He hasn’t seen that looks in so long he’s really missed it.

“ I’m so happy to have you back. Things are gonna be good from here on out. I know it. “

Billy’s eyes wander over to the girl in the bright purple dress that he thinks is terribly ugly but she makes it work anyway.

His mom’s eyes follow his and a smile appears on her lips “ You know, you guys could be next. To get married I mean “.

“ Mom, come on “ he complains but secretly, it’s all he’s been thinking about.

“ I know, I know. Go dance with her at least “ she says and places a kiss on his cheek.

“ I’m proud of you, Billy. “

Before she can walk away he calls out to her. “ Hey mom ? “

“ Yeah ? “

“ Thank you, for everything. I’m proud of you too “

She smiles but he can see the tears in her eyes. He hopes they’re happy ones.

“ Hey pretty boy “ a voice speaks up from beside him. (Y/N) looks all crazy and bright and out of place with all the elegantly dressed middle aged friends of his mother and Craig but damn if she isn’t the best thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“ Hey pretty girl. “

His hands grab her softly by the hips as her arms fall around his neck and they start swaying to the music softly playing in the background. If this is what his life is from now on, he’s happy.

This new little family is broken and weird and unconventional but It could be good, real good.

He looks into (Y/N)’s eyes and sees their entire future right there in front of him.

“ I’m glad you’re back. “

“ Of course I am. Can’t live with half a heart now can you ? “

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfic #dacre montgomery fanfiction

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thewestmeetingroom · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 51 – Time Is On The Line: A Conversation with Cola H.

Broadcast Feb. 27, 2021 • 57:36

SPEAKERS

Cola H., Braeden, Marco

[Intro music – “Best Intentions” by Vic Adamo]

Marco

Peace, everyone. This is Marco Adamovic aka Vic Adamo and this is a Hart House Hip Hop Education Takeover of The West Meeting Room broadcasting live on CIUT 89.5 FM. We're on Dish with One Spoon Territory in Tkaronto and grateful for the opportunity to be here. Working with our campus partners and community Hip Hop practitioners, Hart House Hip Hop Education supports values of representation, collaboration, and social justice, as we explore the key principles of Hip Hop and its importance in our everyday culture. Google Hart House Hip Hop Education to learn more. Our first podcast led us to the homie Colanthony Humphrey aka Cola. H. Cola draws outside the lines and paints his own path in music and in business. The Toronto-based multi-instrumentalist, producer and songwriter enjoys the abnormal and adds his own color to punk rock as the drummer of the OBGMs, touring exclusively as the drummer for Sonreal, and Hip Hop collaborations with Clairmont the Second and DijahSB. We talked about how he got into music, connections between Hip Hop and Punk, the Oooh Baby Gimme Mores in 2020, who he's become by the risks he has taken, some of the best and worst advice he's heard in the industry, and a whole lot more. We also put together a Cola H. playlist from the tracks he dropped in our conversation, so make sure to go check that out on Spotify. And without further ado, let's get into my conversation with trailblazer, role redefiner and master collaborator Cola H.

Marco

I am joined by the one, the only Colanthony Humphrey aka Cola H., aka world conqueror, aka

airport loiterer, game spitter, show killer. Is there anything you don't do my man?

Cola H.

Man, I don't sleep properly anymore.

Marco

Okay, well, that makes sense. Welcome, man. Welcome to the podcast. We're blessed to have

you. How are you doing?

Cola H.

You know what? I'm doing, I'm doing good. I've had a good start in the morning. Started out,

you know, kissing my baby, of course, having a little coffee, and speaking to my therapist, and

now I'm speaking to you. This is great.

Marco

That's amazing, man. Yeah, ya know, I always I always love the chance to chat with you, man

for so many reasons. First of all, I want to say congrats on the Outsah tape man, you dropped

just yesterday.

Cola H.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

Marco

Can you tell us a little bit about the tape and what the past 24 hours has been like, since you

released it?

Cola H.

Oh, for sure. Um, so Outsah is a song like Outsah, like, just the spelling of it's supposed to be

outside. But it's kind of like a little bit more of a slang to it. Joey always used to say that to us,

like when we, he would be outside of the studio because you've got to be let in if you don't have the key, right. And the whole meet me outside comment, like the whole meet me outside, you know, catch these hands outside, like for anybody that's trying to overstep. That's one of the songs that Denz wrote. Like, in fact, I'd probably say one of the yeah, one of the first songs that he wrote for the album, The Ends. And, yeah, since making it we've like, since being in the

band, basically, we've always had a little, we've had, I mean, our roots are in Hip Hop, but we

just happened to make a punk rock band. And we wanted remixes to it, so the boys asked me to help chop it up and put it together. So I produced both of those remixes. And we asked, we

asked the homies Oxymorons. They're from New York, to hop on. And they were also

putting feelers out. And we got Femdot from Chicago. What we really wanted to do was we

wanted to unite city to city, like, you know what I mean. Let you know you could catch hands

anywhere, you know. And it didn't happen, but it didn't happen in the way we tried to make it

happen. But it's all good. You know, Chicago, New York, and what like, you know what I mean? Chicago, New York, and Toronto, like are represented. And we got my little brother Clairmont the Second on the remix with Femdot as well. So, yeah, it just feels good to collab with artists that you respect and that you dig. So especially when it comes out like this tape, you know?

Marco

I want to start at the beginning with you and I want like, I want to understand how you came to

music, when you started making music, and if you can just kind of take us back and let us

know kind of how you started your journey.

Cola H.

Alright, no doubt. Uh well long long ago - No I’m just joking. But my dad is a musician, and we

grew up in the church, like most Black families, especially here in Toronto, or like pretty much

anywhere in the States. So I grew up watching my dad sing and play piano and be, you know,

the choir director. And I remember, I must have been like three or four years old, and I hopped

on the drums, because I saw drummers before that and I was like, I know I can do that. And lo

and behold, I did it. My dad bought me a kiddie drum set, and I never looked back. And I've

been involved with music ever since. Mainly, you know, my formative years, I was playing in

church all the way up until like, I'd probably say, last year before the pandemic, I was playing in

church, whether it be drums or keys, which I learned a lot later in my teens. But that's how I

started my musical journey. My first paid gig that ever came to me, I was I was working at a

community health center. But my boss at the time, La Bomba, Paula Gonzalez, she was

throwing a show because she's actually known as a not only a graffiti writer, but as a bassist.

And she needed to put a band together. And she hired me and Denz for keyboards and

guitars, and that was our first paid gig ever. And I think I was, I think I was maybe 15 years old.

Yeah. And that's, that was my intro into like, being a professional musician.

Marco

So first of all, you and Denz go way back.

Cola H.

Oh, yeah.

Marco

Denz is a co-founder, right? You guys are co-founders of the OBGMs?

Cola H.

Yeah, I’d even credit him even more so than that. Like I basically say, it's the brainchild. Like

The Oooh Baby Gimme Mores, The OBGMs, that's the brainchild of Denz's. And I was right

there. Originally, we were trying to be like The Neptunes, right, like a production duo. But

we wanted to do something different. Because at that time, everybody and their mom was

rapping, like, you know, like its, like grandmas are rapping and this person rapping and that

person rapping. And like I'll even go as far as to say as we were still elite, like in terms of skill in the rap world, in terms of the people that we were up against. But it was just kind of like, what's a better way to gain attention in that way - Like, you know, you know, what, what was the Neptunes? The Neptunes was a band. They were N.E.R.D.. And that's what we did, we created a band, we leaned a lot harder, like we leaned a lot more into the harder side. And yeah, me and Denz started out as a two piece.

Marco

How did you come to developing that rougher sound, that more distorted sound, that more

intense, aggressive sound?

Cola H.

Yeah, that's a great question. So I think it's a number of things. So Denz wanted to introduce

me to Rock and Roll. And at that time, like, you know, living in York Square, like in Toronto,

which was like, very, very hood at that point. Like, you know, and you’d kind of get jumped, like

really in any hood, like at that time, you would get jumped if you were listening to rock music,

right? Like, and I feel like the only acceptable ones were like Billy Talent and Nirvana with

Smells Like Teen Spirit. Those were the only like two bands that were kind of accepted in the

rap world at the time with the people that we were around. So anyway, you know, Denz was

listening to all this stuff. I'd say a deeper catalog of rock. Like, you know, he introduced me to

the Arctic Monkeys, which like, they were hard as fuck at the time, excuse my language. And

then like DFA 1979. And like, the whole reason I got into Hip Hop was because of the danger.

Right? So like, I just began to start leaning into like, you know, even harder stuff. Like, you

know, So for an example. You know, Nirvana's In Utero is like probably one of their biggest

albums. But I was into Bleach more, just because it sounded rougher around the edges - it

sounded more dangerous. Like it was you know - and danger is kind of like the reason why I

leaned so far into like punk rock and rap in the first place, right. Like, and that's probably due

to the fact that I was raised in the church, a relatively conservative family. Like maybe trying

to separate myself from that is exactly what got me into the danger in music in the first

place, you know.

Marco

Favourite track on Bleach?

Cola H.

Man, like probably No Recess, man. That shit is [sings Noooo Recess!] It's so good. It's so

good. But, but there's so, there's so many good ones right? Like, with Nirvana you kind of can't

miss. Like you can literally touch any track and people will completely understand why you love

it. You know what I mean? But that's, that's probably my favorite track. Like, without a doubt I

was singing it just in the car the other day. I was blasting my stereo to 100 like, Oh, it's a mess

when I’m in my car, just enjoying tunes. Yeah, man

Marco

You know, I've seen you. I've seen you guys live a number of times. I remember actually the

first I saw you live was a, I forget, it was a bar on college. And that was when I

first saw the infamous mosh pit that y'all used to fuck with.

Cola H.

Yeah.

Marco

Where Denz would just take both sides and throw them together in this mosh pit. And I was struck by the energy that you had. And, you know, listening to The Ends, I'm also seeing a lot, lot of, well you guys say, you know, it’s Nirvana shit, it’s Jimi Hendrix shit, right? And it seems like you guys leaned into that a little bit more for The Ends, which dropped last year 2020. Y'all did a live stream from Horseshoe which was dope af.

Cola H.

Thank you. Thank you.

Marco

Yeah, it was. And especially at a time in the pandemic, right. Like, just walk us through the

process of like, how you came up with it, what it means to you. And obviously, it was

received, like it made a huge splash. So yeah, just walk us through The Ends man.

Cola H.

Well, The Ends has a number of different concepts. Like, I'd say a lot of them are probably like,

emotional anger. Like, you know - so The Ends, like, the end of bad relationships. The end of

not putting music out for a number of years since our last release. Like the end of like, you

know, people trying to walk all over us. The end of like, it's a number of those very, very, very different things, right? Like, that's why it's called The Ends. And The Ends, like, if you look at the back cover of the vinyl, or the front cover of the Outsah tape, right? That's where the OBGMs was started - in The Ends, that that building that’s atop like, that's where those are, The Ends. Those are The Ends that we’re from. Like, so it's a number of different concepts rolled up into one. The process of creating The Ends, I would say it took years, and it took years for a number of reasons. A lot of those lean on Denz and that's not blame. He went through what any artist goes through. Denz, like, a lot of times, because our art is on display, essentially what you're doing is you're leaving yourself on display. There's a reason why lyrics to a song gets used in court and scripts to a movie doesn’t right? When you're an artist, you bare your soul, essentially. It's your pulpit. But anyway, when you bare your soul, and it's not received in the way that you want people to receive it, like, you know, especially when you've been gunning as long as – I feel like we've been making music together for like 18 years. And I feel like the band has been together for about like - me and Denz - like this band's Inception was what 2008 / 2009. So we're in our 12th and a half year. Like, you know, and when you've been gunning for that long, and people like - you're not famous yet, like or maybe not even fame - but you're not respected yet. Like, you want to step away from it because you're just like, am I even writing good songs? Right? So Denz needed that time and I, you know what, after speaking countless

conversations about it with him, like I understand. I understand that he needed that time. That

time is very, very valuable. And then when he was back, we are back writing and we got

Dave Schiffman involved who's behind like countless records that the world knows. I feel

like he did like three or four of the Bronx’s records. Alanis Morissette, like a lot of

people don't even know that he worked on Jagged Little Pill and like, you know, Haim. Like, It

spans all across the board. And he's from the school of Rick Rubin you know, which

immediately perked up my ears for a number of reasons, right. Like the same guy who's behind Beastie Boys and LL Cool J at the same time, like will absolutely be able to understand us, right. Like especially if you’re from that school. So we got Schiffman on board, and he came here and we recorded for about a month, a month and a half, and we got The Ends.

Marco

You dropped your first, your first EP was Interchorus back in 2009. And that was just you and

Denz, which I, which I remember actually, I actually I have the physical CD of that.

Cola H.

Wow!

Marco

It's all love man. And I was listening, obviously listening to all the records just kind of, you know, in advance of chatting with you and I think fundamentally like, there are certain things that have changed. But the fundamental sound still sort of stays there, like the grime, the danger. The only difference, I think, and you also on each album, you kind of you went from two members to four members to now down to three. And you know, you're mentioning all this sort

of change, the changes and different ways that the band has sort of has ebbed and flowed. So it sounds like the essence is still there.

Cola H.

Yeah.

Marco

But with The Ends, y’all just like, you're just unapologetic.

Cola H.

Yeah.

Marco

At this point, you are unapologetic. And I think it comes through in a big, big way. What about

this current three piece made it so that The Ends made this kind of a splash and impact in this

unapologetic way?

Cola H.

Well, I think after a while, and this solely comes with time. With time, you begin to realize that

you can spend time trying to get the attention in different sort of ways, whether it's like

somebody's like, Oh, you gotta have this type of tune, or you gotta have that type of tune. And

then I don't know, somewhere along the line you turn 30. And then you're kind of just like, yo, I

don't care what anybody says, like this is how it's going down. And this is what we're going to

do. Now, even with like the writing, I can't ever say that in the writing process certain things

have solidified, because, like, as a writer of music, I feel like that process is always going to

change. Maybe the one thing that solidifies now is the fact that we never - at least, I mean, it

remains to be seen - but I don't ever want to go a year without, I don't ever want to go a month

without writing a song. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, we could probably talk about this

later, but like leaving a corporate job solely to work on music alone, right. The professional

doesn't have the time to be like, uh, you know, I'm not really feeling the vibe right now. It's like,

when you have to crank out work, you got to crank it out. Because like, your time is on the line,

money is on the line - even more so time, time is on the line. And when time is on the line, you can't sit down. And when you work for yourself, you cannot sit down. So when it comes down to that, like I think that's probably the only thing that has solidified. And to speak to going from two members to four members to three, the big change in that is - so we split amicably, like when we went from four to three, like we still got love for Jem. It's just that Jem’s sensibilities lean more towards the pop side. And that doesn't really benefit the sound of The OGBMs. So, it was an amicable split. Te's still doing crazy, wicked stuff. Like he releases his own solo music. And he was touring with Zaki Ibrahim before the pandemic. So it's just like, yeah, we still got nothing but love for him. And to come back to The OBGMs. When things go from four to three, like, the less numbers, the easier it is to crank out because you don't have to go through a number of people to sort of, you know what I mean, complete a song. Right? Whether it's an idea that somebody likes or somebody doesn't like or whatever.

Marco

Yeah, for sure. I want to get into the transition from full time work to full time musician for a

number of reasons. But I want to, I want to stay a bit on The Ends,

particularly because you dropped The Ends in 2020.

Cola H.

Yes.

Marco

And there was a lot going on in 2020. I would call it you know, I mean, sort of more of a global

racial reckoning. Right? And I think you also dropped a new podcast. Shout out OBGMs Band

Practice.

Cola H.

Oh, thank you so much.

Marco

And So the one thing I want to talk about is the - what you call lazy comparisons - that the

industry is making when it comes to The OBGMs and to The Ends. You've been called, you’ve

been called Bad Brains. And I know you've shared the stage with Bad Brains and your sound

couldn't be any different.

Cola H.

Yeah, exactly.

Marco

So do you want to talk to us a little bit about, about what that's been like, and what insights

you've had as a result of that?

Cola H.

Um, so, yeah, it's, it's really, really tough to be, you know, a person of color in - how do I

construct this best - it's really, really tough to be Black in a majority white space that is not

ready to see, like what we do. And when they're not ready to see what we do, they instantly try

to make comparisons to other Black people. And, you know, I can't blame, you know, a casual

fan for not having the breadth of knowledge, or even the catalogue of knowledge like to

be able to compare us properly, right? I realize what we do is extremely different than what a

lot of other people do. And because of that, like, they're just trying to look for something. And we do this just commonly with a bunch of things. Like, you know, we try to make comparisons to things that we recognize so that we're able to categorize them. So that when we refer to other

people, we can, like, we know what to expect. The problem with it being journalists is you

are paid to analyze, right? You are paid to analyze, and if it's music, you're paid to analyze the

sound, right? If it's how we look like, I mean, the only comparison that we have with Living

Colour, and that we have with Bad Brains is that we're Black. Soundwise, like the fact that we

do Rock like or are in the Rock space is the only comparison that you can make. If you listen

to the music and all you can pull is Bad Brains, then that means you haven't listened to it. So

that's the problem that we have. It does, it still makes it hard, right?

Marco

What inspires you in the current moment that we're in, because I know, for example, you've

you know, the launch of The Ends, you've been hosting a lot of conversations with other

artists. You know, Denz has been doing a lot of work on hosting conversations with artists

around issues of race, around issues of social justice. And what are you finding that is inspiring

in this moment, even though that there's a lot of work still to do?

Cola H.

I think what's inspiring is the fact that I think with everybody being home, people are finally

willing to listen. For a long time, I mean, there's this great joke where it's just like, have you

heard? Like, the police are beating up Black people again. I don't know if you've paid attention

in the past 400 years to the news! Like, you know what I mean? But it just feels like within the

last year with like George Floyd and all that, like, it feels like people are finally willing to admit

that there's a problem, and that it's a big problem. And it's a problem that has existed forever.

I'd say that's inspiring. The fact that people are willing to talk. And this goes beyond just, you

know, violence against communities of color. Like it's right up to tolerance, right? Like, I mean,

it feels only yesterday that like, you know, the amount of of slurs that we would throw around,

like, you know, pertaining to different communities, that that was acceptable. And now it's not

acceptable, right? The fact that in this day and age, where even like what's known as the

casting couch mentality is being destroyed. Change is what's inspiring, right? Like, all

these different things like the you know, the Me Too movement that's inspiring all these

different things that are inspiring. It shows that like, you know, life can change for the

better. That's what's inspiring me the most. I wouldn't think that it would be any different for

Denz or Joe.

Marco

The words, you know, in that context, music is so much more important, because you

mentioned that you're putting yourself out there and you can't separate yourself. And you can't

separate the music from who you are in that instance. And I think that's another strong

connection that exists within something like The OBGMs and specifically, you know, with you

having this background and medium of both Hip Hop and punk. And so you've got these

sort of two critical forms of expression. What do those two genres or words mean to you in the

context of music being more than just entertainment?

Cola H.

It meant, like, culture. Like, I mean, we say subculture like for these things, but it's culture. Like

these are the driving forces of culture, right? And even at that, like, I feel like, at least now, as

I'm growing older, I'm realizing that it means so much more than just these two words. Like Hip

Hop is more than just like, you know, graffiti, and breakdancing, and MCing. Like, it's, it's a way

of life, right? It's like, I don't walk around saying like, Oh, this is so Hip Hop like as much as I do, like saying, yo, this is punk rock as fuck. But it's just like, it becomes a way of life, like the way how you approach certain things, right? I feel like that's what those things mean to me, right? Like going completely DIY is so punk rock. Right? Not taking no for an answer, being completely in your face is so Hip Hop. Like, it becomes the way that you breathe, the way that you walk, the way that you talk, the way you consume information, the way you exert information, right, the way you express yourself. That's what those two words have meant, and like, continue to mean and it continues to evolve as like both those genres, both of those ways of life evolve. And as my mind continues to evolve, you know.

Marco

Facts, man, facts. So, you know, there's a piece there on risk that I think, you know,

putting yourself out there, but also everything that's wrapped up in both of those. I mean, to call

them genres is to really simplify what they mean. But when you're embodying something like

that in such a way, you're taking a risk. And so I want to go back to the risk that you took when

you jumped from full-time work to full-time musician and, you know, maybe some

insights that you could offer, you know, folks listening or things that you look back on and

you're like, I'm so glad that I did this. Or just the process of learning and learning more about

yourself as you took that risk.

Cola H.

Yeah, definitely, um, the risk. So I'll never forget it. So while I was at my desk working, I got

two offers. So first of all, I just started managing my baby brother, right? Well, he's not a baby

anymore.

Marco

Shout out Clairmont the Second.

Cola H.

Yeah, Clairmont the Second, shout out to Clairmont the Second. He's not a baby anymore. He's a full grown adult now. But at the time, he was still in his teens. And we had gotten offered, we had gotten offered a publishing deal for him. And because I was sending through my own music to this publishing company, I had gotten offered a publishing deal as well. And then not only that, but at the time the band, The OBGMs, we were in talks with a record label. And things were looking very, very good. And, you know, I was speaking to my dad, and then, you know, I had some time to think. And I said, you know what, I think if there was ever a time to make a jump, if God is telling me to jump now, it's right now. So I jumped. And I handed in my two-week resignation. And I went to work on the last day of work. I went in on a Monday, which people wouldn't normally do. But I said I'm working on the 15th. That's what it's gonna be. And I was going to be proposing to my wife on the Wednesday. All in the same day, when I got home, the publishing deal fell through because there was miscommunication, which turned into a little bit of a back and forth. So, both publishing deals fell through. And the record deal fell through all on the same day, on the Monday. And on the Wednesday, I was proposing to my wife, and my now wife, and you know, at first I was a little scared. I was like, oh, what did I just do? And I went, and I spoke to a mentor of mine. And you know, he basically said, you know what, give

it a year and a half. And if you come out, and you don't have money or like, you know, the

biggest loss that you can have is going back to work and say, man, that was a crazy, it was a

crazy, like year and a half that I had. Or you can be me. And him, at the time, like, if you see his production credits, biggest pop stars in the world. I'm not even gonna mention them. But it's just like biggest pop stars in the world. So that's the advice I rolled with. And two weeks after I

proposed to my wife, she said yes, obviously. And I was in an event. I was sitting

down, like looking at this film. And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna be okay. And here I am, I'm okay. And I'm still doing my thing, even in the midst of the pandemic. I'm a full-time artist. You know? Sometimes you just got to take the risk. It's never going to happen the way you want it to happen. I think that's the biggest takeaway that I've had from this whole process. It won't happen exactly how you see it, but it can still happen if you're motivated to push it

towards happening. So here I am - Professional Artist.

Marco

No doubt man, no doubt. And yeah, kudos to you man for pushing through.

Cola H.

Thank you.

Marco

In terms of, you know, the entertainment industry, the music industry. I want to float this, float

this question to you - What's the best piece of advice you've heard someone either give you or

give someone else? And what's the worst piece of advice you've heard someone give you or

somebody else?

Cola H.

The best piece of advice that I've ever been given was at the start, from that same mentor that I

was just telling you about. He said, you know, I had sat with him a week after like, you know, a

week after I quit. And I was just like, look man, I want to figure this out. He's like here's what

you need to know: nobody in this industry knows what they're talking about. We're not talking

about like administrative like duties and stuff like that. We're talking about what's hot and

what's not. Right? The executives, they'll try to convince you that they know everything. The

record labels will try to convince you that they know everything. They know what's hot. They

know how to make a record pop. They know what's poppin’ in the streets. The truth is, is that

they don't know. They have a formula. And that's what they're concerned in making big. Nobody saw, like at the height of his popularity, no one saw Tekashi 6ix9ine coming, right. I mean like, and I'm not promoting Tekashi 6ix9ine when I say it, but they didn't see it coming. No one saw

XXXTentacion coming, you know. And even right on top of it, no one saw Chance the Rapper

when he was at his height of heights, coming. And like look what they all did. They all changed

the game in some sort of way. And like, that's, that's just the reality. But record execs, industry

professionals, including myself, will try to convince you that they know. And they don't. That's

the best piece of advice I got. The worst piece of advice that I've heard was actually just

recently. An artist manager was talking to a panel. And you know, I don't want to smack them

down too much. But basically, what they said was sometimes you just want people to listen to

you and you want them to like be wearing your merch, right? So if you have to buy a shirt at $10 and sell it at $12 and you make a $2 profit, just do it. I personally think that's horrible advice. And the reason why I think it's horrible advice is because artists have been taught to demean their price and undervalue themselves in order to get seen for so long. And I think when it comes to the music business, you do not get successful by undervaluing your product. You want people to take you serious. There's a reason that when Nipsey Hussle was selling his album for I think it was either $100 or $1,000 a piece. There's a reason he sold out. It was

beyond good music. It was, it was the fact that he valued himself that much more. And I feel like it's a, it's in bad practice to teach artists to undervalue themselves to get a little bit further. Like to be real with you, and I don't want to get too far into this, but that's exactly why the casting couch mentality exists. Like it comes from undervaluing yourself, your person. Anytime you undervalue yourself, you will fall for the banana in the tailpipe. Like you will fall for the things that will eventually slow you down, for the things that will make you feel dirty about yourself. That's what's gonna happen, right? So you don't ever want to undervalue your craft. The thing that you think that you're better than others at, the thing that makes you you, if you ever shortchange that you will shortchange yourself all your life. Or you might get what you want. But you will always feel that and you won't be able to sleep at night. You know what I mean? And that's just how I feel about that.

Marco

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Cola H.

You'll fall for anything, and how many people do we know have fallen for things that they

shouldn't have fallen for? It's countless, you know what I mean? And it's just like, we need

artists to value themselves otherwise, like, you know what I mean, everybody will be

undervaluing themselves. And it's just not worth it.

Marco

Facts, man. One question I have is around communities and being a part of a community.

Because I know, you know, particularly West End. I know you've been, you've been repping

West End since before it was cool to rep West End of Toronto.

Cola H.

Yep. Very, for a very long time. Yep.

Marco

And I know, you know, and you seem to, you seem to drop features that no one’s expecting and then all sudden, it's like, oh shit, Cola is up on this too, right? So, talk to me - a couple of things: One is just the importance of community when it comes to, you know, culture, when it comes to working in creative spaces. And the other is this dynamic in Canada and in Canadian music about, you know, not whether it's more important, but you know, everyone says, you need to get out of Canada, to become successful. And so, you know, how, what do you make of that?

Cola H.

Right. Well, on the community aspect. A community that you love and that loves you will always prop you up no matter what. It's, it's just inevitable. They will always prop you up. And if they truly love you, they will tell you when you're sidestepping. They will tell you when something was wack, because the incentive is to get better. Right? So for like, for the West End, right - so I grew up at Keele and Eglinton, York Square, right - We used to have rap battles all the time. And like those rap battles, it wasn't something where we were fighting each other. It was something like, yo if we really, really want to do this, we gotta be better than the next person. So I gotta be better than you. And your incentive is to be better than me. And essentially - actually, that's how me and Denz met. We met through our sisters, right. And, and we met through beat battles, right. To the point where we partnered with each other and just worked on becoming better producers. But the incentive is to be better than each other but for the betterment of the both of us, right. So that's the importance of community. And if it's making you guys better, that's the importance. It's kind of weird now though. Like, I feel like people rep certain hoods or whatnot, and it's not necessarily a thing where they're trying to make each other better, right. It's more so they're trying to, you know, battle with each other in a negative way. But, I mean, that's for another story. Now, to come to your second question, which was going to the States in order to make it. I completely still wholeheartedly agree with that statement. Like, the reality is this. Like, I'll just use Clairmont, for example. Clairmont the Second is a Juno nominated, three times in a row Polaris prize long-listed, a Prism prize award-winning director. Like Clairmont has all these accolades. For the past year, Clairmont has been featured on multiple United States playlists. The majority of his plays come from the United States. The thing is, is that Canada is far too small and like there's not enough Hip Hop fans here, right? And the biggest music market in the world is the United States. Maybe you don't need to be big in the United States. Maybe it's somewhere in Europe. But in terms of Canada, there is just not enough people here. Like maybe, like you know, a popular act can be a million-dollar band here, maybe. But like, you know, two black guys and a half-Iranian half-Irish guy like being a million-dollar Canadian band, like only operating in Canada? I don't think that's very much so possible here.

Marco

So what is, I mean, what is Toronto's place in the modern music industry then? Because I

mean, there's a lot of, I mean, Toronto has blown up for the past 10 years, right?

Cola H.

Yeah, for sure.

Marco

And everyone wants to say that it's Drake, it's because of Drake. But, you know, anyone that,

anyone that's been paying attention knows that the foundations had been built for a long time.

What makes Toronto so unique in terms of the music that's coming out of the city?

Cola H.

I think, I think it's a lot of things. And I would absolutely argue the fact that it is because of

Drake, to be honest with you. And like I would argue that, and I feel like there's a number of

things here that make Toronto that great. Drake didn't need to rep us like on top of that. Like

Drake repped us and I think it's because he truly loves this city. And I think this city has

something to be jealous of. For the fact that there are so many first-generation kids here, so

many immigrant families here. Like I feel like it's, and it's from all different places, like in the

world, right. Majid Jordan like is another example. I feel like every single Black artist that you

see from this city that has gone on to do amazing things, like, none of their parents are

Canadian. They're all from somewhere else. So I feel like the mixing of all those different

cultures to bring up these kids who grew up, all in the, in the same place, I think that's what

makes Toronto like a great breeding ground for talent. I mean, all my friends, like so many

of my friends are like, they're all talented, all first-generation, and all have interesting lives

beyond just making music. And that's what makes the music that much better. You know what

I'm saying? I think that's what makes Toronto unique and special. And I think that's why Drake

loves it. I feel like that's why, like, once again, I think Drake is instrumental to the economy of

Toronto. Like, beyond music, but definitely, like, when he said, "Weston Road flows," All my

Weston people were like, yo, we're taxing everybody at Caribana. ‘Cuz they're gonna want

tours of Weston. Like, not just the strip, but just the whole entire Weston community. You know, I mean, we’re gonna be taxing people out here. Like, if they come out here trying to, you know what I mean? And nobody would have known about Weston. They wouldn't have known about Weston if Drake didn't say it on his records. You know, it's just a fact.

Marco

No, and it's a great point. I mean, you know, leveraging that platform to really put a spotlight on

specific areas, specific issues. I mean, I think there's a lot that, you know, your work with

OBGMs and Drake have in common. I mean, you're leveraging that culture to rep a city, to rep

just to rep period, right?

Cola H.

Absolutely.

Marco

In terms of who's in your ears right now, who do we need to be listening to?

Cola H.

So in terms of - it's a bunch of people, right. Like, I'm listening to a ton of music right now. Yves

Tumor is probably like - Heaven for a Tortured Mind. Great album. I encourage everybody to go

listen to that album. That album, like was probably one of my most played albums of the whole

year. I'm listening to anything that comes from DijahSB, another artist from here, Toronto.

Clairmont the Second of course. And shameless plug, The OBGMs. Everything that is The

OBGMs you need to be listening to that. Other than that, like I'm finding new music every day. I

just took in Illuminati Hotties’ latest album and they're doing some really really cool musical stuff

there. In terms of rap, 1TakeJay. I'm really really enjoying the off-the-beat-type rap flow, where

it's kind of like, and it's really, really popular in the West Coast. And I think 1TakeJay is from out

there. And, like, I really, really enjoy that. Like you're kind of on the beat, but you're kind of

really not on the beat at all. And there's something about it that's just so swaggy about it that I

really really dig. And as a drummer, too, right, being able to drum within the pocket but off the

click, like oh, there's something so sick about that. And who else. I really really like G Perico's

voice. I think he sounds almost like a modern day DJ Quik. Larry June is also another one. And like to be real with you, I've been listening to like a ton of 80s R&B funk. Like a ton. Like

S.O.S. band. Like S.O.S. Band is probably my favorite. But like Mtume is another one. Cherelle, Alexander O'Neal, anything that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis have produced, I highly, highly

encourage everyone to go listen to it, because it's just filled with number ones, their entire

catalogue, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. They're my favorite producers in the whole world. And I hope one day meet them.

Marco

Wicked man. What are two songs and one album that are forever part of your life soundtrack?

Cola H.

I'll start off by giving this album that I love. It's not a rock album, but it kinda is – Funkadelic,

Let's Take it to the Stage. When I was 16 years old, and Denz was trying to convince me to be

in a rock band. And I said, hell no. I stumbled upon this documentary on PBS. With them

playing, or it was a, it was a documentary about Parliament Funkadelic. And, like, you know,

they transitioned from being just like an R&B band to a funk band to like moving into rock and

roll. Let's Take it to the Stage was a pivotal album that basically said we're here to stay and

we're here, meshing these, these two things together. And that's an album I can't live without.

In terms of songs. Hmm. S.O.S. Band, Tell Me if you Still Care. It helped me discover the

softer side of who I was. Not everything is about like, you know, loudness and you know, trying

to be seen. Tell Me if you Still Care by S.O.S. Band, produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.

Yeah. And Pull Out by Death From Above 1979. It’s just completely, like, offensive, completely

loud. And just like, the type of energy that I was just like rolling with in my early college years,

which made me want to get even harder with this music shit.

Marco

And then in terms of other tracks, what in your own, in your own catalogue? So music that

you've worked on or been a part of, what are some of the most meaningful tracks to you?

Cola H.

Triggered by the OBGMs. Like, that's a meaningful song because it's hard. And it's everything

that when I wanted to get harder with music, like it's everything that I thought we would sound

like. That's one track in my catalog that I'm like yes. Another one would probably have to be

Clockout. It's the song with me and Clairmont on his last, on his latest album. I produced that

song, and like I got the second verse on it. It's just, it just shows like that both of us got lyrical

skill and can still bounce off of each other, and let it be a family affair and still be like, just a

complete banger. And lastly, I'd probably say New Money, which is like a solo track of mine.

Marco

Ooh, la la.

Cola H.

Yeah, Ooh La La. Yes. New Money. Like, there's not a bar in there that's not true. And it's just,

it feels like what Toronto feels like to me. You know, that's my Ode to Toronto.

Marco

So like a lot of artists have sort of said that 2020 was a year for strategizing because of the

impact on the the arts community. You were obviously busy AF. And so what are some final

thoughts on music in 2021 and sort of where we find ourselves globally? Locally? Like, you

know, obviously, you're going to be releasing some music. So that's exciting. Anything else

you want to share about? Just final thoughts on music and either 2021 or beyond?

Cola H.

Yeah. So like, I think if 2020 showed us anything, it's that the world can be shut down for a

multitude of reasons. And I think if you're taking this time to strategize, good. But if you're not

taking this time to, to actively still maintain attention, or learn a new skill, you will suffer when

the world does come back, if it ever comes back. I think people that are waiting - like it

showed, it showed us this. If you wait, you will wait. Like period. There's never going to be a

right time for anything. The right time is right now. Right? What are you doing right now?

What's happening right now? What are people watching right now? What are people doing

right now? If you do not add more skills to your arsenal, and if you are only waiting for the right

time, you'll die out. Like there's just no way that you'll survive in this day and age. Because like

the reality is like, I'm not sure our normal world comes back. I'm definitely not sure. And I know

that sounds bleak. But like, I mean we booked a few things for 2021. But the reality is, is like it’ll

probably get canceled, you know. And I think anyone that thinks live music is coming back in

2021 is not paying attention to the signs that things are going horribly wrong right now. So the

thing is, is like, how are you going to survive this rat race next? And it's - you know what it's not

by doing? Waiting. So don't wait. Right now is the time. That's my final thought.

Braeden

Could I ask one question?

Marco

Sure!

Cola H.

Oh, please.

Braeden

It seems like behind your work is this like really intricate fabric of relationships and you

collaborate with a lot of people. You have band members. You're in the music business with

your brother. You're in a marriage with someone. Like, these relationships have so many

layers and so much depth and complexity. And so I just wonder, like, what do you think is

essential in moving through those relationships and sustaining those relationships in a good

way?

Cola H.

I’ll say it like this. Communication is essential in moving forward in a relationship. But not only

communication, it's understanding what the relationship is. So when I say understanding the

relationship, relationships start for different reasons. And they usually end because somebody

broke code as to what the relationship was. Like, I feel like a lot of us don't understand

relationships to the extent that we should. Relationships are basically – they’re social contracts

as to how you interact with somebody. And the moment that changes, the relationship can

either change or end. And, like, I think as long as you understand like why it started, and how it

started, and you're willing to make it evolve through communication, of course. A relationship

can sustain the worst, like the absolute worst of what life has to offer. You know, and I think

that's why I've been able to roll with Denz for so long. That's why I'm in business with my

brother. That's why essentially, my wife is like, she's not just like - she describes herself as my

biggest fan. But I think she's way more than that. She's my business partner, like, just in life,

you know what I mean? Like, you know, you know, we're new parents, right. And like, even the

things that we introduce our child to, or even right down to how we communicate in front of her.

Like, maintaining a relationship, all that is key, like, so it's knowing why you got together and

and communicating so that the relationship can continue to flourish.

Braeden

I guess if I could follow up with something personal?

Cola H.

Of course. Please.

Braeden

Like, well, just, you know, being so - and I guess I'm asking from a place of being in a similar

context - like, when, when you're married to someone and you’re business partners, and you’re

co-parenting, and maybe you have, I don't know, creative sides, or creative work that

intersects. But then you're also in a domestic partnership, and also a romantic partnership. It's

like you're wearing all these different hats. And sometimes it's hard to know which hat you're,

you're speaking from, like, and they have competing interests. And so I'm just like wondering if, like, do you, have you sort of acquired, are you learning like a new language, or bringing in a new set of tools into like, I guess, learning the interplay between all those different hats you have to wear?

Cola H.

I think, I think what it is, is we’re learning a new set of tools. So marriage is not for everyone, I

completely believe that. And it's for me, and it’s for my partner, like it's for both of us. Like we

chose each other. And like, that's why we're still happy today. The reason why we love each

other is because we love each other for who we are, right? But the reason why it works so

well, is because the way we communicate. We know that we'll be able to grow together. So

whether it's being business partners, whether it's buying property together, whether it's raising

a family together, like you know what I mean? Whether it's, or even right down to who's gonna

do the dishes, and who's in the living room. Like, you know, all those things, those all just

become tools. They become assets that you use, like, in order to accomplish whatever you

need to accomplish. But the thing is, is like, they're just tools, but they add on to our

relationship. We know we can continue to grow together. And that's why we continue to grow

together.

Braeden

Thank you for sharing.

Cola H.

Oh, no problem. No problem. By the way, great questions. Completely unexpected, but really,

really dope.

Braeden

Yeah, well, like it kind of, you know, what made me think of it is when you mentioned Dave

Schiffman, like earlier in the conversation. Like, there's kind of, there's like these invisible

relationships that happen behind the scenes that no one else sees.

Cola H.

Mm hmm.

Braeden

And, and I'm just like, I'm interested in that aspect of just yeah, people's sort of like, the

intimate realms of people's lives that lead to the work you never really see.

Cola H.

Can I expand on that actually?

Braeden

Yeah.

Cola H.

Now that, now that we're talking about it, like, I feel like a lot of times, especially as artists,

because it's a lonely road, and because a lot of the times you find yourself alone. You find

yourself being extremely introspective. I feel like great artists are very introspective. You forget

that you need people. But like, even with everything that we're seeing in this in this world, like

happening right now, where it kind of seems like everyone's mad at each other, right? You

know, whether it be for political reasons, racial reasons, whether it be class reasons. But the

reality is this. We need each other, we all need each other. Like, even right down to me talking

shit, like people need people. We can't go it alone. Like, I mean, if we try to go it alone, or

without particular communities, our minds don't expand. And right now there's a fight to keep

things the same, or the fight to change things. And like, you know, there's two people leaning

on on two different sides. But really, if we came together, and you know, we work together

towards a common goal and that's like, advancing humanity, you know, we would be so much

further than we are right now. People don't value each other as much as they should. And that’s

where the big problems lie, you know?

Braeden

Yeah, I feel like trust is really the only currency.

Cola H.

It really really is. It really is. Trust me. Yeah.

Marco

That's awesome Braeden. Just a quick plug - everything OGBMs, everything Cola H.,

everything Clairmont the Second, OBGMs Band Practice wherever you get podcasts.

Cola H.

Yup Yup

Marco

Cola man, as always, it's a pleasure. We appreciate you and just wish you so much more

success and a brighter fire that burns in 2021.

Cola H.

Oh, my bro, thank you so much. I really really really really appreciate you guys having me. And

like yeah, I said before, Cola H. on everything just look up "dieforcola". So dieforcola.com,

@dieforcola on everything and that will lead you to Cola H. and that is me. Thank you for

having me.

Marco

Peace

Cola H.

Peace

[outro music plays]

Marco

That was my conversation with Colanthony Humphrey aka Cola H. You can check him out on

social media @dieforcola. I want to give a big shout out to Braeden Doane for her support in

producing today's episode. Look out for another Hart House Hip Hop Education takeover

coming soon. In the meantime, check us out at harthouse.ca. I'm Marco Adamovic. Peace.

#harthousehiphopeducation #colah thewestmeetingroom harthousestories

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wangdrew · 7 years ago

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“night guys im done w the vore” aren’t we all

“i’m gonNA MAKE THEM CRY WITH MY FISTS” chloe

“hello mr rannells sir, how lorge is ur wangus?” CJ

“welcome to hell lucy” Elise S

“gounod” chloe

swooty swooty coming for that booty

My mom, *ordering pizza, says it’ll deliver at 6:45*: “What fuck are they doing? Swimming to fucking Italy for the tomatoes?”

it comes with stickers and theres a whole section of the sticker sheet thats just andrew failing to do the jump on the album cover its so funny

cj is mothman???!! nOT clickbait

a vore blog just followed me

THEY FOUND US (chloe is cia)

there’s no way god would let this chat exist in his realm

ok but like am i the only one who hates when you’re in class working on some personal writing and someone leans over like “wHAt R u wRiTING??????” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade

people found out christian was straight and were upset

“That you hate this gc?” “that too but mainly that i live in sweden”

are you fucking kidding me?? i was so happy, this endless hell could finally be over, all the supernatural fans who i forgot to unfollow will stop posting and i would be free, i was planning a party for the last day it airs and we would pointedly not watch it, i was going to cry of happiness, and instead,, This

Sophie

there were loads of theatre references in shrek too i think that’s bdj’s kink

groff dick pokes your eyes out even with its unimpressive length

i will stab you both with a rusty metal dildo

headline: groffs dick causes world war 3

“CAUSE OF DEATH: DILDO TO THE HEAD”

i sold it for my will to live

hey jess? what the fuck

hold on babes just gotta * loud cracking as he snaps off his velcro dick* ok

you’re in the bedroom with wangdrew. things are getting heated. you’re ready for the dicking down. everything is perfect, and you’re in love. he pauses, and whispers in your ear, “hey babes, just one sec”. he pulls away, leaving you wanting. there is a loud, resounding cracking, tearing noise, and wangdrew is holding his disembodied dick is his hand. he smiles. you smile.

me: why will no one date me also me: dick me down, rannells

moisten my gams kate(legs)

songs include: billy ray broke my achey break heart, wangdrews green coat, crusty june and clangy janet, and our true friend is vore

our new reality tv show, called “sometimes.. wangdrew is worse”

starring:

me as me phoebe as my favorite child chloe as vore queen cj as vorer anjie as sidekick monse as mongoose holli as opponent sophie as foolish mortal geneva as judgemental death bird jess as nutbox lucy as k i n k y kate as kinky kate kev as kinky kev haven as side salad claire as foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach reilly as commondore elise as flagelise grace as covenant kristyn as chicken pot pie amanda as kraken tasha as jigglytata asher as sneaky dorito sel as sergeant cactus cait as mcmuffin jill as diet scooby snack and faith as medalling kid

“Good mother fucking morning I am going to school wtf”

“THE DICKS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE”

“2 inches of nothing”

pe poole

Hey what’s poppin’ my name is Jake Paul I’m here in the *pans up to ‘team 10 house’* Team 10 House, I hope you are having a good day hope you’re smiling hope you’re working hard I hope you *pans out to dab* dabbin’ on them haters

hey what’s up selina reeviers, if you’re new here my name is selina reevie and i’m here in the wangdrew groupchat, i hope you’re having an awesome day, i hope you’re listening to musicals, i hope you’re *whips* whipping on the hetros and let’s GET BACK TO CRYING

Skinny beetles = Skaneateles

the only 2 genders *walks up to a straight couple* so which one of you is the jazz choir and which one is the gospel choir

Chloe: what’s a good free website Jess: google.com Solie: THE SARCASM

my whole brand is made off of andrew memes

rt! the wangdrew blog is basically an archive of all our mistakes

He gad it mumming He gad it mumming He gonly gad gimself to maine

Jizzer Brown

cronch the fucking pickle man

Good Morning Everyone My Only Mood Is Death

cunt nugget

youre on punkd lucy

ok but like am i the only one who hates when you’re in class working on some personal writing and someone leans over like “wHAt R u wRiTING??????” like your eulogy if you don’t back up you soggy lampshade

Happy VORE 🍴 lentine’s day! Hope you’re ready to get some 🍫 chocolate from your special someone ❤💋!! And mayBEE 🐝 you can give them a special 😉 SURPRISE ☝💋 and VORE 😱👅👄 their CANDY 🍭🍬🍭 ASS 🍑! Send this to 10 of your TASTIEST 🍰 friends this VORELENTINE’S DAY 👄👅🙀! Get 🔟 back and you’re the TASTIEST 😋 EVER! Get 5 back and you’re GETTING SOME 👄 MOUTH ACTION 👅 Get 3 back and you’re TOTALLY VOREABLE 😋🐯🍑! Get 1 back and you’re either a VORER 👄🍭😉 or SAD

Hi! 💁😋 I’m so happy 😁😆you’ve applied for the 🎭musical 🎼group chat, we’re over a hundred 💯people who want to make new friends 👯👯‍♂ and that’s so exciting!😜 I saw 👀👀that you were okay 👌 with using Whatsapp 💬as a platform and so I was wondering 🤔if you could give me your number📲 so that I can add you?😘 I’m very excited 😝😊and hope 🙏🙏that this will work out for everyone!!😂😂😍🤳🙌

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celebritylive · 5 years ago

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It’s a family affair at the 2020 Grammy Awards.

“We’ve got the whole group, dad and mom, me and Billie,” Finneas O’Connell, Billie Eilish’s older brother and producer, said during PeopleTV’s Grammys red carpet pre-show on Sunday. “Someone will embarrass somebody of course. That’s the whole deal and that’s the best part.”

RELATED: Grammys 2020 Nominations: Lizzo, Billie Eilish and Lil Nas X Earn Multiple Nods — See the Full List

O’Connell, 22, received five Grammy nominations, three of which were with his 18-year-old sister — who earned a total of six nods this year — in the album of the year, record of the year and song of the year categories.

His work on Eilish’s When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? already won O’Connell the Grammy statue for best engineered album, non-classical, plus he scored producer of the year, non-classical category.

“To me, one of the many reasons that when we first started making music I was never interested in calling it a duo, like having a band name, is because her vision,” O’Connell told PeopleTV’s PEOPLE Now host Jeremy Parsons and PEOPLE senior editor Janine Rubenstein. “It’s like 18-18, it’s like even sharper than 2002. It’s like, she knows exactly what she wants. She knows how to get what she wants. She knows what it’ll take. She knows even clearer when something isn’t quite right how to get it to where it needs to be. That to me is what a true artist is.”

Be sure to check out PEOPLE’s full Grammy Awards coverage to get the latest news on music’s biggest night.

O’Connell worked with Eilish on her chart-topping hit “Bad Guy.” “Even though we’re all together making songs and I produce them, it’s so her vision,” he continued. “Especially when we walk out on stage every night. It’s so meticulously thought through by Billie and I admire that endlessly in her.”

RELATED VIDEO: Gearing Up for the 2020 Grammys Awards

The producer and songwriter also talked about how proud he is of Eilish for opening up about her struggles with depression and anxiety.

“I’m so glad she’s being open with it because I think depression and anxiety, especially in people under the age of 25, is so, so important to talk about, so prevalent,” O’Connell said. “I think watching your sister or anyone that you are close with and love suffer from anything like that is such a scary thing because it’s not always something that you can have an impact on really other than being a good listener, being there for them.”

RELATED: Grammys 2020: Everything You Need to Know About Music’s Biggest Night

O’Connell encouraged everyone to be “supportive and encouraging” of anyone going through a tough time. “It’s always important to be checking in with people you love,” he said.

PeopleTV’s PEOPLE Now host Jeremy Parsons, PEOPLE Senior Editor Janine Rubenstein and Entertainment Weekly Senior News Editor Gerrad Hall are co-hosting a live red carpet pre-show ahead of the awards ceremony. Catch the full livestream above at 6 p.m. ET/3 p.m. PT or on PEOPLE’s Facebook and Twitter pages. You can also watch on the PeopleTV app, available on all of your favorite streaming devices.

Tune into the 62nd annual Grammy Awards at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT on CBS.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2Ru7Dko

#Celebrity

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aesthetic-lover77 · 5 years ago

Text

Tumblr Questions

1. What’s your middle name?

The name I usually go by. Danielle. (My full name is Odafenikhoa Danielle Aigbodion (don't try to pronounce it))

2. What are you listening to right now?

Nothing, really. I'm watching some ASMR, if that counts. The last song I listened to was "Lost Boy" by Ruth B.

3. What was the last thing you ate?

Don't remember. I think it was Yorks (the peppermint pattie).

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

My mother :)

5. Do you drink?

Nope :)

6. Do you smoke?

Nope :)

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

Face. It's always the face. Or the personality.

8. What is your hair color?

Blue and Black

9. What is your eye color?

A very dark brown that legit looks like black

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses?

Do sunglasses count?

11. Dogs or cats?

Hm. I love cats and dogs, but sometimes dogs are too...jumpy. Cats are calm and fwuffy :3

(Me and my friends at school made a very stupid joke saying: "The dog is dogged.")

12. What’s your favorite animal?

Unicorn. Peacock. Lion. Fat Fucking Pigs.

13. What’s your favorite television show?

I don't really have one, but "Riverdale," "Pretty Little Liars," and "Married To Medicine" are a few to name.

14. What’s your favorite movie?

"Matilda." "The Parent Trap." Pretty much all the "Chucky" movies.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer?

Panic! At The Disco

Fall Out Boy

Twenty One Pilots

My Chemical Romance

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

The Young Veins

Billie Eilish

Melanie Martinez

Etc? Etc.

16. How old are you?

I rather not say :)

17. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Yep.

18. What’s your sexual orientation?

Pansexual :)

19. What’s your favorite color?

Black. Dark Purple. Dark Blue. A very light shade of Baby Pink. A very dark shade of Pink.

20. What was your most embarrassing moment?

I don't remember, to be honest.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else?

All. The. Goddamn. Time.

22. What were you like when you were a kid?

I was one weird ass child.

23. What would your dream house be like?

A fucking castle.

24. What last made you laugh?

My friend putting mint chapstick under her eyes.

25. What is your favorite word?

I don't know.

26. What is your least favorite word?

I also don't know.

27. What turns you on?

No answer :)

28. What turns you off?

No answer :)

29. What is your star sign?

Taurus.

30. What are your favorite books?

"Wonderstruck." "Windfall." All the books in the F(ive)N(ights)A(t)F(reddy's) Series.

31. Do you have any siblings?

Yes, I do. One is 3 y/o (boy) and one is turning 22 (girl).

32. Do you like to dance?

It depends.

33. What is your definition of cheating?

When someone goes out of their way/marriage to fuck someone else besides their loyal spouse.

34. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Nope.

35. Do you regret anything?

A lot.

36. Do you have any phobias?

Not that I can think of, no.

37. Ever broken any bones?

Never.

38. Ever come close to death?

Not that I know of, no.

39. What is your religion, if any?

Catholic Christian. If I have to get to any detail, ROMAN Catholic Christian.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?

Never.

41. Are looks important in a relationship?

Meh. They're just a small percentage. Characteristics dominate.

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad?

People say I look like my dad, but I don't see it. But have both of my parents' personalities.

43. What is your favorite season?

Spring. It's not too hot, not too cold.

44. Do you have any tattoos?

No, but I want some.

45. Do you have any piercings?

Yep! Ear piercings.

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

I've had 1. (I rather not get into detail with him)

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Yes.

48. Who is your celebrity crush?

Pete Wentz.

Patrick Stump.

Brendon Urie.

Josh Dun.

Tyler Joseph.

Dallon Weekes.

Ryan Ross.

Spencer Smith.

Need I say more?

49. Are you a virgin?

Yes.

50. Do you get jealous easily?

It depends.

51. What is your favorite type of food?

Italian and Nigerian food are SOO good.

52. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes.

53. Who was your first kiss with?

Um...not gonna say...

54. Have you ever been cheated on?

No.

55. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Pretty much a lazy day.

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I hate outdoors (sometimes).

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?

I mean, I need a good reason why to believe it.

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

Drawing. Singing (I'm an okay singer).

59. What is your saddest memory?

When I found out my grandfather died.

60. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not really.

61. Do you believe in soul mates?

Yes, I do.

62. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes.

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

Yup.

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?

Stealing. Scamming.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?

1.) I'm Nigerian, not Asian.

2.) I'm very smart and have a rare sense of humor.

3.) I'm different from the rest.

66. Who are you jealous of?

Nobody. I'm living my life perfectly bitch.

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

No.

68. How long was your longest relationship?

2 Months (It's very complicated.)

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Well, it depends on your mood.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Give me a lap dance (BAHAHAHAHA)

71. Who is your most loyal friend?

I don't wanna say her name. I respect her privacy.

72. Are you in a relationship?

Well...yes and no...

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her/His/Their humor. Her/His/Their Personality.

74. Are you a bad person?

No. People think I am, but I'm not.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter?

Both.

76. What did you do on your last birthday?

Have about 20 pieces of cake :)

77. What is your favorite quote and why?

"Love Is Not A Choice" ~ Brendon Urie ~ Girls/Girls/Boys ~ Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die! ~ Panic! At The Disco.

Why?

Because love is NOT a choice.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do?

Cry.

Then find the motherfucker who did it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

My life :)

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

Listen to a bunch of albums, eat a bunch of food, and be lazy.

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

Um...

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship?

In a relationship.

83. Who were you in a past life?

I don't fucking know!

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?

When my brother was born :)

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yep.

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

Yes, and it was freaky.

87. If you were the president, what would you do?

Legit pamper my school and all my friends and let everyone else SUFFER (jkjk)

88. What is your ideal career?

A surgeon.

89. What is your political affiliation?

I don't really know about that one.

90. Are you conservative or liberal?

Liberal(?)

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?

I mean. Girls have curves. And boobs.

Guys have abs. And dicks.

92. Do you like kissing in public?

Meh. I mean, if it's just a peck, sure. But it has to be appropriate timing.

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?

I would change every bad thing in this world.

94. Where would you like to live?

Right here in my home state (Rhode Island) or New York.

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Hawaii, Paris, or England.

96. Describe yourself in one word.

Me!

97. Describe yourself in one sentence.

I may seem calm when you first met me, but when you really get to know me, I'm one crazy-ass person.

0 notes

damnthatnoise · 6 years ago

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The Future Is Now | An Interview With Zilla Rocca

Philadelphia is rich with hip-hop history going back to Spoonie-G, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, The Square Roots (The Roots) on through Freeway, Beanie Sigel, Dice Raw, Lushlife and of course the Wrecking Crew’s own double threat Zilla Rocca. With more than 15+ years deep in the game Rocca is approaching the release of his latest and in this writer's humble opinion most impressive album yet via legendary music journalist Jeff Weiss’s POW Recordings with, Future Former Rapper set to drop in the coming months.

I reached out to the Wrecking Crew, Career Crook, Grift Company Producer/Lyricist to talk about his career, parenthood, how his approach has changed and all sorts of shit in between. Over the course of the conversation I digested the new album and the more I listened to it the more one thing became clear to me...Zilla Rocca is one of the NICEST FUCKING MC’s THIS CULTURE CURRENTLY HAS AROUND! The man has not only studied the greats but he holds tight in his essence the core of what made many of them great to begin with and when you get your hands on this album you will see what I mean.

For now, grab a drink, roll a blunt, and read my interview with Zilla Rocca!

_____________________________________________________________

Damn That Noise: "Future Former Rapper" you said has taken around 4yrs to create, and in that time you dropped 3 Career Crooks projects, your joint EP with Curly Castro as Grift Company and your "Hard Boiled EP" not to mention becoming a father and husband, and writing for Passion of The Weiss. What was it about this specific album that you really wanted to take your time on, and where do you think you've matured and refined yourself as an artist and man since "No Vacation for Murderers" dropped?

Zilla Rocca: That’s a great question. All of heady stuff takes me 1-4 years to make for some reason. This album went through a lot of incarnations even though the songs are pretty direct and the conceptual stuff is digestible. When I started making it I decided to record maybe 4-5 songs, play them live, see how people reacted, and then go back and re-record them after doing field research. I’ve never done that before and it was great! Plus as an emcee it helps you catch pockets with the rhymes in a live setting that you might now catch in the booth.

I think after No Vacation specially I wanted to make more straight forward stuff. I feel like my Shadowboxers projects are ahead of their time and take a minute to digest. Once real life stuff intersected then I really had no time just to experiment and meander with songs. I wanted to get my point across on different types of production on some Danny Brown and Vince Staples steez since they challenge people while being bare bones rappers. The bulk of the album was done before my son was born and his first year I had to pause with all music stuff and just be a Dad and husband. So that year off helped me recharge to do new stuff like Career Crooks and Grift Company.

DTN: I had written about your really growing into an MC who belongs alongside the caliber of folks who came from the DITC era, and you had replied in a tweet saying that you had really been studying those guys for a while recently. What is it about Finesse, Diamnond D, Big L, OC and the rest of the Digging in The Crates crew that inspires your asthetic? You sound like you and not a knock-off, but the essence is there which is hard to do some times....how do you incorporate those inspirations into the process?

Zilla Rocca: Just being mentioned anywhere near DITC is a blessing so thank you. I feel like DITC is still an all time great secret in rap. I love Wu and Mobb Deep and all the other big groups and cliques but everyone knows them. How many people who love Fat Joe know DITC? I think those guys are incredibly consistent first off which I admire. AG is still great! Showbiz still gets busy. As does OC and everyone else. And their sound has always fluctuated between dark and cinematic but also shiny and bouncy. They could do clubby joints for the car and do headphone cypher riding on the train beats. I’ve been making beats for 15 years and definitely studied their approaches. I told Small Pro that “Good Luck with That” is his Buckwild album. And as a rapper I love Finesse and Diamond D for being so in pocket and dead on with their lines. There’s a beauty to their simplicity on the mic. It’s hard to be simple and dope. Plus Big L was the opposite using 5 syllable rhyme schemes while talking fly street shit. His rhyme structures are like cheat codes. I’m not a die-hard Big L dude but I’ve listened to him for 23 years and his shit is incredibly memorable and catchy. That’s why I did “Lamont Coleman” off Hard Boiled - I had those Big L lines in my head for a week and thought they’d be a great hook. And the beat had that eerie Word...Life/Jewelz feel. So it was the ultimate genuflect to the whole unit.

DTN: We seem sometimes to be in a Renaissance of hip-hop with artists like Armand Hammer's Elucid and billy woods both releasing such prolific group material not to mention solo material, as well as the likes of Milo, Mike Eagle, JPEGMAFIA, PremRock, Karma Kids, Ka, Marci, Westside Gunn and the Griselda fam continuously coming with heat and of course yourself and the countless others dropping really noteworthy albums....do you think we're hitting a creative stride right now that we were worried we might not see again 8-10yrs ago?

Zilla Rocca: I think we’re just in a media consumption phase as a culture right now. Binge watching shows. Staying glued to the news all day on twitter and cable. In the past only a handful of rappers were wild prolific like Doom, Kool Keith, Lil B, Lil Wayne etc and it made them stand out. Nowadays people hear your project and say “that’s hot but when’s the next one dropping?” Because people are just consuming endless shit now more regularly in that fashion. I’ve always worked on music and did it damn near every single day from 2005-2012 so once I saw people respond more to lots of music these days, I was game to feed them. I’ve always been diligent with lots of songs on deck so it’s nothing for me to try it this way for now. It’s been highly successful I’ll tell you that!

DTN: As someone who is an artist, and as someone who also writes about music where do you think music journalism specifically online has gone wrong over the last 5-10 years? Blogs at one time seemed like the spot where new artist could be broken and discovered but now most places seem no different than the old pay to play models of old. What do you think killed this?

Zilla Rocca: With music journalism, it’s just things are always changing. Blogs were a reaction to music magazines becoming corporatized and shitty. Then blogs became corporatized and shitty and streaming took off so they got wiped out. Plus youtube has now been around for over 10 years and people just digest and learn shit from video so sitting and reading something is now a different option for music writing or criticism, whereas in the ‘80s through ‘00s it was almost the exclusive means to know about music

DTN: What about this album was different for you in the approach to bringing it all together? How did you decide on the group of producers you gathered and why them for THIS album?

Zilla Rocca: I really thought this album would be my last. I was about to be a dad and I didn’t think I’d ever have time to work on music again. So I thought about making an album to capture every era from my career. I started in the early 2000’s doing more experimental stuff. Then did boom nap East coast underground music. Then some artsy indie rock sampling stuff. So this album was about showing off all of that.

So choosing the producers to handle that was the key. Steel Tipped Dove is the bridge between the more loop driven east coast beats on here, from Small Pro, Ray West, Disco Vietnam, and Messiah Musik, to the EDM/trap type beats by Starkey and my man William J Sullivan. I probably started the album with his beats and Messiah Musik’s first then chose beats around theirs. I feel like Danny Brown has been really good at that mixture so I patterned it after Old specifically without doing 2 sides to an album that breaks up the style of production. DTN: Jay is 48, Em is 46, El & Killer Mike are 43, do you see yourself actually becoming a Future Former Rapper at some point in time or do you think that it's just going to transition into a different path of creative writing for you, but keep the same essence?

Zilla Rocca: There will be a day when I hang it up. Maybe it’ll be when I’m 40? I’ll be 36 tomorrow but I feel energized now with people still discovering me. But once my son gets old enough to play sports I know my time will be even more limited. And I’ll be ok with that. Like I said I really didn’t think I’d be doing music right now a few years ago. But great writers get better with age so you shouldn’t stop if you can help it.

DTN: What inspires 36yr old you now to keep moving forward and creating? If you could sit 18yr old you down and give him advice about what to expect and how to move what would it be?

Zilla Rocca: I just really do what I like now and I don’t care about what happens after that. If no press gets behind it or If it sells 7 copies I’m ok with that. I’m not as thirsty as I was when I was 18. It’s really just about the work. Since I’ve approached music that way things have gotten easier and I’ve found new fans. I would tell my 18-year-old sell the line I said on “Career Crooks Theme”: nothing comes your way when you chase, best be patient.

DTN: What do you hope Future Former Rapper expresses to the people who take time to sit down and listen to it? What do you want the listeners to walk away with from the experience?

Zilla Rocca: Phonte described his new album in a way that applies to mine: it’s for people who have other shit to do. I was really conscious about the overall running time and number of songs. Selfishly I just want people to hear it and think I’m a great rapper. If they can relate to some of the topics on a personal level, that’s a win too. It’s really autobiographical and very specific to my life growing up loving rap in South Philly in the 80’s and 90’s. But there’s a song about my wife and son and how they became the first thing I loved more than music. So there’s a lot to digest but I wanted to get in and get out like a bank robbery.

DTN: You have Serengeti, Armand Hammer, Curly Castro and another I know I'm missing on the album as guests... What was it about those voices on this album this time around? I know Curly is a regular voice but why Geti and AH...?

Zilla Rocca: Castro is the most important voice. I deliberately put him on multiple songs because I wanted the album to reflect my life. He’s my best friend and we talk every single day so his voice should be heavily involved. With Armand Hammer, I’ve been working with Elucid since like 2009. It’s great watching people catch up to him now. Billy woods is one of my favorite rap friends ever so even if he didn’t rhyme on the album I would’ve just called him and recorded him talking cause he’s brilliant and hilarious. With Serengeti, I’ve just been a big fan of dude for years and we’ve been twitter homies forever with lots of mutual friends but we’d never worked together. So I wanted him in the mix because he’s very adventurous and bold while being original. Plus he doesn’t do a lot of features so I feel like it’s special getting him on my album.

DTN: Why is storytelling such an important element in your writing? Even with your writing being more straightforward you've always focused on telling stories, and your favorite MCs have all been great storyteller... What is it about bring able to tell a story and not just say fly shit that has no real depth that calls to you?

Zilla Rocca: I think storytelling is hugely important. To me, you’re not a great rapper if you can’t tell a convincing story. I like writing in that form because I’m an avid lifelong reader too. I also like structure and coloring within the lines sometimes and stories make you do that. There’s a beginning, middle, and end. Maybe a cool plot twist. I’ve written a fantasy type of story songs, sports stories, crime stories, relationship stories, and personal stories and I appreciate it when they connect with people. “Time Ran Out” off my new EP “Hard Boiled” is a breakup story and it’s one of the most mentioned favorites which shocked me. I wasn’t sure anyone would like it but I felt like it would break up all the random rhyming and fly talk like you said!

DTN: Favorite rap magazines growing up and why?

Zilla Rocca: Obviously The Source. I also loved Blaze Magazine and then later Scratch Magazine. It was a real elation seeing the newest issues on newsstands cause we had to go hunt and search for hip hop back then. It was a secret.

DTN: You've dropped shit on your own label, you partnered with Urbnet for the Career Crooks albums with Smallpro, and now you've decided to sign with Jeff Weiss' newly formed POW Recordings for your latest solo. Why at this stage of your career when you're capable of navigating it all on your own would you sign with a new label, and what is it about Jeff that had you decide to work with him for this release (other than the obvious fact he's a clear champion of great hip-hop of all kinds)?

Zilla Rocca: I only deal with labels that love the music. I like partnering with people who are excited about the project first and foremost. I just left Toronto where URBnet is located and it’s such a clean and diverse city. Made me realize they really had to love Career Crooks to sign us cause our stuff is gritty and edgy being from Philly, which was not my experience of Toronto at all! With Jeff, we’ve known each other 13 years. I knew of POW Recordings when it was just a thought. His plan was to only sign up and coming cats to help them get shine, not Old grizzled vets like me from the Blog Rap Era on the verge of turning 40 years old. So when he heard the album, he fell in love with it and wanted to be the person who put it out. And I just went with it. It was effortless.

DTN: Thank you for your time my dude, do you want to leave the people with any final thoughts/words?

Zilla Rocca: Check my upcoming album. Check the singles we’ve dropped. Check my latest solo EP “Hard Boiled”, the latest Career Crooks remix album “Thieving as Long as I’m Breathing”, and the Grift Company EP from me and Curly Castro! Psshhew...ok that was a lot. Now, to sign off, peace to everyone who checks my stuff whether you’ve been down since 2008 or 2018. Just you reading this is built off my work ethic and stubborn refusal to quit rapping because I never had a major co-sign or a big manager or was down with a crew that blew up. I just keep doing it year after year so thank you for listening and reading!

Future Former Rapper by Zilla Rocca

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foreignergod · 6 years ago

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hello! wow i can't believe tumblr was such a rude ass hoe and deleted my ask jddndh. so to sum it up (the youtube question), i watch people like idubbbz, filthy frank (rip), maxmoefoe, and anything4views. kinda "wild" and "problematic" youtubers apparently ?? i also watch the try guys and unsolved a lot! they're pretty much the only 2 good things about buzzfeed lmao. what about music? what stuff do u listen to other than The Boys(tm) -🦇

i’ve never heard of any of those youtubers i’ll have to check them out. but i’d die for my dads keith ned zach and eugene and also ryan and shane. as for music!!! i listen to so much. like obvi 1d and solo ot5. i’m also a huge justin bieber fan (like literally sue me idgaf). i love the Queens aka bey and riri and adele. i also love sia she’s such an amazing vocalist. i love florence + the machine, marina and the diamond and lana so much!! LOVE arctic monkeys i’m in love w alex turner. and i also love arcade fire. i love bebe she’s so cute. and queen ari her new music is AMAZINF and she’s gorgeous and i love her. i really like billie eilish i saw her at gov ball. and khalid!! i love khalid. i LOVE THE 1975 SO MUCH. AND ALSO COLDPLAY. drake’s new album slaps its so good. i love dua lipa. and ed sheeran!!! LOVE brockhampton and frank ocean and halsey. lesbian jesus aka hayley kiyoko could stab me and id thank her. OH WOW i LOVE jaden smith so much :’) also i love kodaline my favorite ever song is by kodaline. my wives LITTLE MIX I CANT FORGET THEM. my best friend is in love w logic and got me into him. i also love love love p!atd their new album is SO GOOD. and my (and niall’s 😉) bby shawn is so cute i love shawny his new album rebirthed me. and TROYE I LOVE TROYE MORE THAN LIFE I SEE HIM IN OCTOBER. And then like sza and the weeknd and 21p and years & years. i aksnaksn i love music i listen to more but these are like. my favs i guess. what about u? 💖💖

#bat anon

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thedgreene-blog · 7 years ago

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the TOP 10 albums I saved to my Spotify in 2017

Seasons greetings friends. I write to you from icy cold Vernon, BC. I’m fighting a sore throat, dried out sinuses, and an eye infection I got from the pool at the Vernon Lodge (formerly the Best Western, currently featuring a Don Cherry branded sports bar). But enough about me. Grab a cup of hot cocoa and kick up your feet. It’s time for another one of D. Greene’s horribly written year end top 10 lists.

10. The Guess Who - American Woman (also Wheatfield Soul and Canned Heat)

We’ll start off with a perfect double whammy example of why you should stop reading this right now. Seriously. Ok well don’t say anyone even remotely recommended reading this all the way through. First off - These albums came out over 40 years ago. Second - I listened to them all 5-10 years ago. But guess what amigos - they weren’t saved to my Spotify library until this year. I have a beautiful memory of driving around getting together production requirements for a weekend of shooting Gritzmore Season One which is available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube and Funny or Die. With me were my friends Derek (listens to Black Sabbath and Queens of the Stone Age), Justin (listens to Tragically Hip and Anime music), and Melissa (listens to only Japanese folk songs and Lady Gaga(Zef if you’re reading this please DM me)). Despite our wildly different tastes in listening; all genres were transcended by the heavy yet clean and spatial Canadian dad rock majesty that is the Guess Who. While most dad bands force you to listen to a best of because of the sheer monotony of a pentatonic rock album produced in the 70s, The Guess Who’s albums hold up. You’ve got the sounds of jazz, hard rock, 60s referencing psych and more. I’m really running out of steam here and I’m still on number 10 oh my god. Be a good Canadian and listen to some Guess Who.

9. Painted Fruit - PF II

And now to completely stray from the previously mentioned guide lines seemingly rendering this piece of “journalism” more pointless than it all ready is. This album isn’t on Spotify but it is on Bandcamp. Painted Fruit are some old friends from the mother land, Vernon. I shot a video for them a while ago. It still kind of holds up even though it’s on YouTube in 720p. This album sports shiny reverberating guitars influenced by beach rock, drums caught up half way between garage and math rock, and vocals obviously influenced by Talking Heads or similarly uninhibited post punk wailing. My favourite track is “Primitive” it really heats up near the end. Very upbeat but dark. It’s not too common an album can keep you tuned in start to finish but the Fruit’s second album is mentally stimulating all the way through whether it’s on in the car or if you’re taking a more scrutinizing listen with headphones.

8. Fleetwood Mac - Future Games

If you’ve ever spent any time around me you know I don’t shut the fuck up about pre-Stevie Knicks Fleetwood Mac. I think I’m SO god damn cultured because I can say “ACTUALLY they started out as a blues band before transitioning in psychedelic and eventually soft rock”. Wow David. Mr. Rock and Roll trivia. You don’t know shit about what’s going on in the world politically or even in your own city for that matter. You don’t watch sports. You don’t even watch current TV and movies even though you claim to be a writer and director. But I bet you’ve got some sick ass trivia about Fleetwood Mac. They’re that band that does “thunder only happens when it’s raining” right? They’re pretty good - my mom has a few of their CDs. Whatever don’t tell me how to live my life. One day I’m going to get on Jeopardy and then we’ll see who’s laughing when I burn the fuck through the entire rock and roll trivia category and the $1000 daily double is “this guitarist played in Fleetwood Mac before departing and eventually joining the religious cult known as the Children of God” “WHO IS JEREMY SPENCER, ALEX!?” Anyway this album is really good and it’s finally on Spotify. And not to confuse you, Jeremy Spencer plays on Then Play On, which is not on Spotify yet. Danny Kirwan is on Future Games.

7. Kanye West - 808s and Heartbreak/Graduation

Hey Kanye how you doing buddy? Seems like you’re thinking about a lot. Got a lot going on upstairs. Glad I got to see the Life of Pablo show before you cancelled the rest of the tour. If you need to talk or anything I’m right here. It can’t be easy keeping up with those krazy Kardashians. What happened to the album you said you’d put out by this past summer? Can we have a little teaser at least? I was going to DM you on Twitter but you deleted it. Well I just wanted to write and say that I was listening to 808s and Graduation and was thinking about how 10 years ago you literally laid the ground work for the majority of current pop and hip hop. Every dance track lately has the same synth sounds as Graduation. Even rock artists are writing easy listening yacht rock inspired songs again. And who did you sample on Champion? That’s right Steely Dan. You were pumping out vocoder and heavy minimal bass 10 years before Future and 21 Savage. You’re truly an artist my friend even if I compared you to dads who use Facebook last year. Gimme a call man let’s hang out - I miss you.

6. Once and Future Band - Once and Future Band / Brain

The best kind of satisfaction is the kind you didn’t even know you were after. I came across Once and Future Band and realized I had an itch for prog rock I didn’t know needed scratching. If you’ve ever rocked out to Yes, early King Crimson, late Led Zeppelin, Supertramp, I urge you to check these guys out. Every song plays for around 5-6 minutes. Each track an adventure. They even pepper in elements of classic rock and pop but keep you guessing with messy yet precise fills and time signatures. I just noticed their EP “Brain” isn’t on Spotify anymore which is a huge bummer but you should try and track it down.

5. Arcade Fire - Everything Now

Arcade Fire are a band that “get it” in every sense of that expression. Lyrically I haven’t identified with songs like the ones on Everything Now since...I want to say ever. They’ve completely found their place sonically after the somewhat experimental “Reflektor.” We can all pretend the song you put out with Mavis Staples doesn’t exist, don’t worry. The singles off this album are perfect. The album tracks leave nothing to be desired. Your music videos - MOIA *kissing fingers hand gesture*, your concert OH MY GOOD GOD it was a work of performance art. It’s hard to put into words how Arcade Fire pleases me as a band so I’m going to stop now. Please keep making records forever. Also u kno Arcade Fire can get it ;)

4. Vulfpeck - Mr. Finish Line

This year I was introduced to one of the tightest bands of I’ve ever heard. I’m not using tight like I’m a snowboarder from 2009. I mean musically this band is tight. Vulfpeck is based around 2 guys who went to music school and became gods of building beautiful, happy, upbeat songs around a bass guitar and a drum kit. There is one fill in the track Baby I Don’t Know where the saxophone and the guitar walk down some sort of mind mending jazz scale that just about broke me the first time I heard it. I feel like I intended for this article to be funny but I’m getting really earnest with these entries which isn’t good because it’s not funny and it’s not written well why are you still even here. Hang in there. If you prove you read it all the way through I’ll shake your hand, look you in the eye, and say say thank you.

3. The Lemon Twigs - Do Hollywood

A studio band built around 2 kids who were 17 and 19 or something when this came out. I’m not a real journalist do your own fact checking. I just know when I saw them play at the Cobalt they weren’t even close to old enough to drink in Canada. The Lemon Twigs are part of a fascinating group of LA musicians who seem to all be associated with Johnathan Rado - member of Foxygen, produced this album for the Twigs, produced Tim Heideckers album that came out this year. (How Tim Heidecker is spending his time creatively recently is very questionable. Wareheim remains my favourite. Also Tim and Eric shaped modern comedy but that’s a different essay). Rado also worked with Diane Coffee, former Foxygen drummer, former child actor - like the members of the lemon twigs. The Twigs went to the same high school as Billy Joel which probably doesn’t mean anything but hey isn’t LA neat? In their circle as well is Alex Cameron whose latest album is pretty fun. Basically what I’m getting at here is I’m a big Hollywood wannabe who feels left out of the fun. I just wanna be famous ok? Dammit. This album is great check it out.

2. Sufjan Stevens - Carrie and Lowell Live

Sufjan Stevens is a fascinating artist and person. Who would you sit down and have a 4 hour conversation with if you were given the chance? Sufjan Stevens is on my list. I want to know his creative process, how he spends his days off, how he decides what clothes to wear, why he would cover Hotline Bling live (not complaining - it was incredible to see in person). I got to see Sufjan in concert twice last year and while the experiences were almost too good to be true I was left both times with the bittersweet feeling that I may never experience this or something quite like it again. It’s definitely not being there but if any of Sufjan’s work needed a live recording it was Carrie & Lowell.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

HAIM - Just the song You Never Knew. Devonte Hynes is one hell of a producer and song writer. I think I tricked myself into liking HAIM just because I have crushes on all three of them. When I get to Hollywood I’m going to ask Alana on a date.

John Lennon - Mind Games

There’s so much post Beatles music I feel like I’ll never get through it all. I’m usually turned off by Lennon’s cynical lyrically driven basic rock songs but there’s some really good stuff on this album.

Kevin Morby - City Music

New music that sounds old. This album is great and led me to listen to a bunch of his old stuff too. If you don’t know Morby listen to Singing Saw, Harlem River, and follow him on Instagram.

LCD Soundsystem - american dream

I’m more into dance music than I’ve ever been. Not EDM but music by bands that makes you dance. Also my friends got to see them live in New Orleans and I’m definitely not jealous and didn’t have FOMO the whole time they were there and I was back in Vancouver.

Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffit

Zeppelin’s best album that isn’t made up of songs completely stolen from black musicians.

Loving - Loving

Cool easy listening woozy Mac DeMarco rip off tunes.

Nick Hakim - Green Twins

Cool soulful spacey psych music that doesn’t cross into sounding like Hozier.

Paul McCartney - Pure McCartney

Best of Paul who is the best Beatle.

Shintaro Sakamoto - various

Awesome Japanese psych pop.

Steely Dan - Aja

The best of all dad/yacht/jazz rock there is. The bench mark for easy listening melodic rock. I listened to I Got The News probably 200 times this year.

The War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding

I call bullshit on every music writer who put this in their year end list. No one has played this album past like track 5. It all sounds the same.

NUMBER ONE BEST THING ON THE SPOTIFY OF 2017

Mac DeMarco - This Old Dog

I love Mac. I want to be his friend. Actually I just want his life. I follow him and Kiera on Instagram. His cover of Wonderful Christmastime he just put out is great. I hope Mr. DeMarco keeps making music for decades. What a guy. He doesn’t even shave or dress up when he goes on network late night talk shows. Unfortunately I don’t go to his concerts anymore because they used to be $20 and now they’re like $60. Anyway man keep doing your thing. I don’t care if I come across as a mindless hipster who happens to also roll up his pants. I like your songs. You write great lyrics about love and life. You can shred guitar. Your live cover of Reeling In The Years is amazing. I still laugh about the time I saw you cover Enter Sandman and Smoke On the Water. Mac 4ever.

Well that about does it. Hope you all had a great Christmas and a great time reading this. I’m gonna go put visine in my eyes and watch Elf.

Love, David. (go watch Gritzmore Season One and email it to all those network executives you’re secretly friends with)(here’s a picture of me in my dad’s old clothes)

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