#also watched this within 3 days exactly one year ago (days leading up to christmas)

[tardis--dreams]

There's not enough flower of evil content on this webbed site

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey do you know any johnlock fanfictions, that are very slow burn and at first it's just sherlock being sad that him and john are never going to get together (maybe after the wedding or something) but have a happy ending? (possibly with 100k+ words)

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh I like to argue that ALL my slow burn recs are especially painful, LOL LOL!! I didn’t have a lot of over 100 K ouchie-burn fics, so I’ve decided to quickly go through all my fics tagged “slow burn” and give you all the fics I KNEW gave me too many feels when I read them because of the burn!! So I hope that’s okay!!

And as always, Lovelies, I’ve certainly missed a lot of fics because of improper tagging or just too many sleepy nights skimming my bookmarks, so feel free to add your faves!

BURN SO SLOW IT HURTS

See also:

Love Confessions / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. (Fluff Version)

Falling In Love / Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. || [MOBILE POST] (April 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev. Rel. / Falling in Love Pt. 3 (Nov. 2019)

Slow Burn / Dev Rel. Pt. 4 (Apr 2020)

Mutual Pining

Pining Sherlock || [MOBILE FRIENDLY VERSION]

Pining John

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w., 10 Ch. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he's NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won't change anything between them. And then it does.

The Slow Burn by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,097 w., 4 Ch. || Romance, Emotional Infidelity, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Fix-It) – John smiles, something small and private and for him alone, and Sherlock just...he knows. With a heart-stopping certainty, Sherlock suddenly knows. It feels like falling off the edge of a cliff. It feels like falling off the edge of the world. It feels like flying.

Merlot by Itsallfine (E, 14,844 w., 17 Ch. || Christmas, Pining Sherlock, Wine, Slow Burn, First Kiss / Time, Love Confessions, Wine, Holmes Family) – Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays. Part of 25 Days of Fic-Mas 2015.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favour. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance, Humour, Masturbation, Love Declarations, Bottomlock, Brief Suicidal Ideations) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they’re both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Rel., Roadtrips, Slow Burn, Mummy Holmes) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sickfic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w., 7 Ch. || Hawaiian Vacation, Post-TRF, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Just Talk Already, Drinking, Mutual Pining) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage, Angst, Anal, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Spas / Massages, Shampoo, Jealousy, Fake Relationship) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w., 84 Ch. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most. An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete. (This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w., 14 Ch. || Character Injury, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Sherlock POV, Toplock) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w., 12 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator, Closeted Bi John, Angst, Miscommunications, Slow Burn, First Time, John’s Blog / Epistolary, Selective Mutism) – John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing...and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes... and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they're both so very, very rubbish at talking.

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w., 14 Ch. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings, Bossy Bottomlock) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family's private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it's time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (E, 62,006 w., 25 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || First Person Sherlock POV, Pining, Angst, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Sherlock Learns About Himself, Happy Ending) – Sherlock struggles with his feelings for John, makes a mistake, and learns just how important he and John are to each other. Non-BBC Mary / John, but it’s a *complicated* relationship.

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Eyes Up, Heels Down by CodenameMeretricious (E, 107,845 w., 43 Ch. || Sports Equestrian AU || Fluff, Angst, Humour, Rider!Sherlock, Groomer!John, Show Jumping, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) – Sherlock is a top eventing rider currently training at Baker Farms. John is the new groom who's been told to steer clear of the surly rider and his horses. Part 1 of Baker Farms

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w., 17 Ch. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We're all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w., 31 Ch. || Changeling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he's destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl -- but cannot be ignored. Oh, and...porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[bee-kathony]

The Oath | Ch. 25 “A Meeting” 

a/n: thank you so much for reading! we’re getting so close to the end now, and I’m sorry this is a bit of a shorter chapter but the next chapter drops wednesday and it’s a BIG ONE! thank you as always to my wonderful beta @lcbeauchampoftarth <3

Arc I | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 | Ch. 19 | Ch. 20 | Ch. 21 | Ch. 22 | Ch. 23 | Ch. 24 

January 3rd, 2020

The new year usually brought a feeling of excitement and a sense of refreshment. It was a time to start over, and perhaps stop putting off what one had been for months. A time of self-reflection.

Claire wasn’t experiencing any of those feelings as she, Jamie, and Madeline walked into Ned Gowan’s office.

They had spent Hogmanay, as the Scots called New Year’s Eve, at Lallybroch. It was a massive celebration, and her favorite part of the evening was watching Jamie attempt to sword dance. It all felt like something out of another century.

Peace couldn’t last forever, unfortunately. Before Christmas, Claire had arranged a meeting with Mary, and that meeting was today. They needed to know everything that Mary claimed she knew. They were crossing their fingers that she would be willing to cooperate, considering Frank was soon to be her brother-in-law.

“It’s good to see ye, Jamie,” Ned greeted them into his office. “And ye too, Claire. Oh, is this Madeline?” He waved his hand at her and she smiled, but it could have just as easily been gas.

“This is her,” Claire grinned. “We weren’t able to arrange for a sitter, so we thought we’d just bring her along!”

They both took their seats at the table, and within the next minute, Mary Hawkins arrived and sat opposite them, while Ned took up the head of the table. They were in the conference room of Ned’s office, a room with wide windows that let in plenty of light.

“Thank you for coming, Mary,” Claire smiled at the young girl. Mary’s eyes were, however, transfixed on Madeline sitting in Claire’s lap.

“S-she has red hair,” Mary said.

“Aye, got that from me,” Jamie responded proudly, his large hand cupping Mads’ head.

“I don’t think he knows that,” Mary uttered quietly.

“You mean Frank?” Claire asked to clarify.

“Y-yes,” she nodded.

“Miss Hawkins,” Ned cleared his throat. “Why don’t you start from the beginning, and tell us everything that you know pertaining to this case.”

“Let her catch her breath, Ned,” Jamie smiled to the young girl.

Ned nodded his head and Mary thanked Jamie as she unwrapped a thick red scarf from around her neck.

“I’m not entirely sure where to start,” Mary said, sitting up straight in the chair. “As you know, the laboratory is my family’s business so this is v-very tricky for me to talk about.”

“Which is why we’re so appreciative of anything you can say, Mary,” Claire assured her. “I know that what you say will be going against your family, but you’ll be helping ours and many others. We have to make sure this never happens again.”

With that, Mary took a deep breath and began telling them about the past couple of months. It was shocking, to say the least. Hearing all the details that Mary told them, while not surprising, still made Claire’s stomach twist.

“Why did you agree to do this, Mary? Did he offer ye money?” Ned asked.

“N-no,” she stammered, and then her face turned down to look at her hands in her lap. She looked quite frightened now, so Claire stretched her arm across the table and offered her hand.

“This is a safe space, Mary. Everything you say will stay in these four walls if that’s what you want,” Claire nodded. Of course, if Mary decided that she didn’t want any of the evidence she had on Frank to get out, it would hurt their case against him and the lab, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

“He threatened me,” she spoke softly. “He came to the lab a few days after we collected the DNA. I said that I was willing to help, because I love Alex — his brother,” Mary added for Ned. “But when he told me what he wanted me to do… to forge the documents to say that he was the father,” she paused, her mouth open as if the words were stuck in her throat.

Claire squeezed her hand, giving her encouragement.

“I knew he had a temper,” Mary continued and met Claire’s eyes. “I’d met him several times, but only with Alex, and usually at the holidays. But when I refused, he started yelling and pushed me against the wall.”

The young girl was nearly trembling, and Claire moved Madeline into Jamie’s lap so that she could sit next to Mary. She placed her arm around Mary’s shoulder and pulled her close, all while rubbing her back. Mary had tears in her eyes as she started to speak again.

“He was s-so strong,” she shook her head. “He pressed himself against me and I could feel…” she trailed off. “He said he would ruin me in more ways than one if I didn’t do as he said, and the worst part was that he made me promise not to mention any of it to Alex.”

“Does Alex know now what Frank did to ye?” Jamie asked, his fist clenched on the table. Frank hadn’t only ruined their life, he had also scared this poor girl into breaking the law and threatened her with physical abuse.

“Yes,” she nodded. “After I told him, he was the one that encouraged me to contact you. You see, Alex loves his brother, but he knows how he is. He’s a monster!”

“Yes, dear,” Claire hugged her, arms wrapped tightly around him. “He is. I fell under his spell many years ago. I know how charming he can seem at first.”

“This is a serious accusation you are making, Mary,” Ned leveled with her. “If what you’re saying is true—“

“Of course it’s true,” Claire nearly snapped as she hugged Mary to her.

“Aye,” Ned said a bit bashfully then. “Are ye willin’ to say all of this in a court setting? With Mr. Randall himself present?”

Mary reached for a tissue on the table and wiped her eyes with it before slowly nodding. “Just like Claire said… I want to help to make sure this never happens again. I understand that I’m responsible for messing with the results.”

“But, we now have evidence that Mr. Randall assaulted ye and threatened ye to do as he said. We’ll take care of ye Mary, dinna fash lass,” Ned assured her. He wrote down several things on a piece of paper in front of him and then looked back to the three of them.

“We do have some good news. The court date has been set for January 15th,” Ned said. “It’s important that we get our stories straight and line up any witnesses. I must ask ye again to confirm — Mary, are ye willing to be a witness for Mr. and Mrs. Fraser?”

“We’re no marrit yet, Ned,” Jamie grinned.

“Almost,” he waved his hand at him.

“Yes,” Mary said and Claire felt a weight lift off her shoulders. “If I can be of any help, I will gladly be a witness.”

“Now, it is rather complicated because it is your family that owns the laboratory and ye will be testifying against them. Are ye willing to testify against yer family’s business and risk the laboratory being shut down?”

“I didn’t want to work there anyways,” she shrugged. “I know that this is mainly my fault.”

“Miss Hawkins, that won’t be necessary,” Ned smiled kindly at her. “All ye have to do is tell the court exactly what ye told us.”

“I can do that,” she smiled gently and Claire removed her hand from around the girl.

With nothing left to discuss, they all rose from the table and proceeded out into the hallway.

“Ye leave everything to me,” Ned said. “I’ll organize everything we have to make our case, and the next time I’ll speak to ye will be on January 15th.”

“Thank ye again, Ned,” Jamie shook his hand as he held Madeline across his chest with the other.

Mary said farewell to them and left the building, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Jamie and Claire followed her lead, but they stopped just outside of their car.

“What’s wrong?” Claire asked as she noticed how quiet Jamie had become.

“Sassenach,” Jamie was nearly shaking with anger as he cupped my cheek. “Did Frank ever lay a hand on ye?”

“No,” Claire shook her head. “The only time he almost did was when you were there and stopped him. I knew of his temper, however, but I turned a blind eye.”

“He can’t get away wi’ this. Not only for Madeline’s sake, but for Mary’s, the poor lass,” Jamie leaned his forehead against mine and then pulled me against his chest. “I dinna ken what I would do if someone ever laid a hand on ye, Claire.”

“Nothing illegal, I hope,” I snorted.

“I’d do anything to protect ye,” Jamie said into my hair.

“With Mary’s help and the paternity test, there is no way that we won’t win. You heard Mary in there — she said that Frank most likely doesn’t even know that Madeline has red hair.”

“Should we bring her to court? So the bastard can see just how ridiculous his accusation is?” Jamie scoffed.

“No,” Claire shook her head. “As much as that would give me satisfaction to see the look on his face, the thought of him laying his eyes on our daughter makes me ill. I’d rather she be safe at home with Jenny and Ian than anywhere near that sick pig.”

Sighing, Jamie unlocked and opened the car door to put Madeline in her car seat. “Yer right, Sassenach. That man doesna deserve to get even a glimpse of our angel.”

As Jamie finished buckling up Mads, Claire climbed into the passenger seat. In less than two weeks, all of this would finally be behind them. It sometimes felt like a nightmare that would never end.

Chapter 26: The Whole Truth

[mistwhisperexpress]

SSO Wishlist

Since it’s nearly Christmas, I feel it’s time to finally post this. It’s just a little list of thing’s I’d love to see in SSO that will hopefully one day be achieved and crossed out here if they ever are. I truly appreciate the hard work that goes into making the game and the time and love that is put into it, this is just some things I hope to see in game one day, and honestly a lot of what I’ve wanted has already been achieved through the years, like dialogue options for us and the ability to have more horses. If anyone has anything they’d like to add on please feel free to do so! It’s always really interesting to see what others look forward to and enjoy most in games <3

Photomode bug returned as an actual feature within the game. I know I probably seem to love this way too much but god this glitch was heavenly and gifs were such a breeze and came out beautifully with this

Updated Us + The ability to change skin tone independently from face shapes/features. Please SSO, my character looks like she has jaundice, which is a sickness you really don’t want to have. I can’t take any photos without her turning obnoxiously yellow, I beg you.

Ability to change your pronouns. While I’m perfectly content as a cis female and prefer playing characters who are girls (and don’t ever connect any character as me because that feels weird and uncomfortable to me), I know that others aren't and that hearing other pronouns given to a character you project as yourself can be so so damaging and I don’t want others to go through that. This is a game, and when you’re playing a game it’s meant to be an escape, and it’s not an escape if that reminder is constantly flung into your face and setting you back so many steps.

ACTUAL RECOGNITION FROM MAIN CHARACTERS/SOUL RIDERS. More on this will be included below the cut so those who don’t want to listen to my rant rambles can just enjoy this and so the story spoilers won't be instantly visible <3

Holiday/Special items with +3 swiftness stats. You’d think the special limited edition items would be the ones they’d want to make better with stats but nOpe, they’re useless outside of looking pretty

Greendale becoming super super lush again. If I can see the sky/house/ocean it needs more tree. It’s magic was that it was so beautifully lush and full, and now it just feels sparse and empty and like it’s missing something. Honestly the grass everywhere is lacking but that’s another issue and probably just me. The new Golden Hills additions are exactly what I wanted to see with Greendale, just a little less lush than what I’d hoped for Greendale, so I know they are able to do this.

Updated updated Arabians. The originals came out on my birthday which still has me super happy since they’re my favorite breed, but I didn’t get to enjoy them until years later because my laptop decided to no longer run the game that day and now the updated ones are on the older models and I don’t want to get any in case more are released since I try and only have one of each horse breed 

More black fingerless gloves and black jeans

More hairstyles or updates of old ones

Home Stable customization. I don't need a house or an apartment or whatever, I just want my stable to look nice and pretty with dark wood and stone for pretty gifs and pictures 

More pets that run or fly alongside you and saddlebags that more easily match tack

Pets chilling in your stable like your horses, maybe in some special corner or something?

The original Bobcat girl race route, it was so much better than the one we currently have and more of a challenge which made it fun and the change happened randomly with no announcement anywhere that I could find

Some of us have spent years playing this game and fetching things and doing everything and doing all the work for absolutely everyone, and Alex during Elizabeth’s funeral quest line and recently Linda with the Light Right quests are the only time it’s felt truly appreciated, like we mattered and not with some selfish disingenuous or hollow feeling behind it. When we were getting out of the rift after being stuck in it and we had to run around collecting those fragments of Lisa’s song I was so excited, I thought maybe Elizabeth was leading us home with remnants of her soul, or that we were collecting and finding something, and then that we were gathering the ties of Lisa’s song and that we’d get partial credit for getting us out, but noooo, it was all Lisa. Thank you Lisa for sitting there and singing a song, while we ran around all over the place getting lost a few times while consoling our friend who just watched her mentor die before her and was already going through a lot. Yes Lisa, it was you who did all the fucking work. Yes, I’m bitter and probably being selfish and entitled with this, and I'm so sorry for that, but when you invest years (and money) into a game you shouldn’t feel like what you spent hours doing, and all the work that’s lead up to it has felt like nothing and like every character around you matters more than you. I feel awful for feeling this way but my god it gets me so angry and I’m so so sorry. The Light Ride seems like it’s a start to fixing this and I adored those quests and what was revealed within it and that it seems like we’re finally important and needed but it’s too soon to tell. Elizabeth also probably did a lot of showing us appreciation and actually recognizing our worth but I really cannot remember because I did those quests years ago so I’m also sorry for that.

[marshmallow-phd]

Sins of the Father

Genre: Mafia Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: Soon after your second birthday, your parents were killed and you were adopted by your father’s best friend, taken away to their home country where you lived your life in peaceful ignorance. As far a as you knew, your parents simply left you large fortune to be released to you once you reached your twenty-third birthday. At least, that’s all you thought you were inheriting. When a famously ruthless mafia boss discovers your existence, you are left at his mercy. While under his roof, you learn more about your father than you ever wished you had, including the part of your inheritance that made you the most valuable person in the underworld. Hidden in a bank in New York City were files that held the darkest secrets of the mafia families and everyone in their pocket. With another terrifying leader’s eyes trained on you, you’ll learn to watch your back… and guard your heart, before your father’s past becomes your doom.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I Final

**

All night you tossed and turned, unable to shut your brain off from every possible scenario that could be waiting for you the next morning. You were too anxious, too worried about what could be happening to your adoptive parents that you didn’t know about. At point, Minah threw a pillow at you for all the noise you were making flipping from one side to the other.

The conclusion you settled on as the most likely was that you were going to be asked to move out in order help ease the expenses. And that was understandable. Taegun had always been able to provide well above the necessities, but if the company was suffering lately, then it could mean his paychecks were feeling the impact of it. You wouldn’t fight if they asked you to move out. There was plenty of money in your bank account and you had a steady job that kept you busy. Besides, maybe having your own place could be good for you.

You’d come to terms with it by the time you woke up the next morning. To make things easier, you wouldn’t get upset and would quickly agree to start searching for an apartment. There were plenty of places for you to go where you could still be near your family.  

The smell of bacon was the first thing you brain registered as your eyes slowly cracked open. Stumbling out of bed, you didn’t bother to freshen up before walking out into the hallway. Since you didn’t have a shift to prepare for, you stayed in your oversized t-shirt and sleeping shorts that you had slept in.

Hyunmin was in the kitchen by herself, listening to old trot songs while she kept an eye on the bacon and pancakes she was cooking. That within itself confirmed your suspicion. It must really be bad.

The delicious combination was your favorite breakfast. You loved it so much that Hyunmin would only cook it on special occasions such as birthdays and graduations in order not to spoil you. No rice and seaweed, no marinated meats or healthy kimchi; just pure fluffy batter and sweet, sticky syrup. After racking your brain just in case, you confirmed that there was nothing special about today’s date to explain away the meal.

You greeted Hyunmin with a kiss on the cheek. “Good morning.”

She stopped singing and patted you on the head. “Good morning, (y/n). Did you sleep well?”

“Yup,” you lied, giving her a smile so she could be reassured.

Hyunmin smiled back halfheartedly, turning back to the pancakes to sprinkle in a few chocolate chips. The twins soon shuffled into the kitchen, confused at the breakfast set out on the table.

“What’s this for?” Mingyu asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Hyunmin snapped, causing her son to drop into his chair hastily. “Just eat so you can get to class.”

“I don’t feel like going today,” he whined.

Hyunmin slammed the pan down on the stove. “You are going to school! Do not argue with me!”

That shut him up. Usually Mingyu had two or three helpings of every meal, but today he scarfed down his two jacks and ran to his room to get ready and to get away from the fired up Hyunmin. Minah didn’t eat quite as fast, but she eyed you curiously, knowing the rarity of this. When she was finished, she too went back to the bedroom to get dressed.

You forced yourself to have a second helping to not offend Hyunmin even though your stomach was in too many knots to really want that amount of food. When you tried to help her clean up, she simply slapped your hands and shooed you out of the kitchen. By half past eight, the twins were practically running out the door. You had moved over to the couch to continue reading your book, careful not to let Hyunmin see that it was new.

Fifteen till nine, Taegun walked through the front door. From the look of his attire, he hadn’t gone into work this morning. Where had he gone to? The bank, maybe? You kept your eyes down, hoping to possibly put off the conversation just a little while longer by staying invisible.

“(Y/n)?”

Reluctantly, you looked up from the novel. Both of them were standing in front of you, their eyes giving off a glossy look. You started to stand up in order for them to have the couch, but Taegun gently pushed you back down as he sat on the edge of the coffee table. Hyunmin didn’t scold him - she hated anyone even putting their feet on it - instead simply sitting down beside you on the couch and taking your hands in hers.

“(Y/n),” Taegun started. He ran his hands through his salt and pepper hair, tapping his foot against the rug. “I’m sure you know what it is I do for a living?”

However you expected this conversation to start, a quiz on Taegun’s job was not it. “Of course. You’re a corporate lawyer.”

“Yes, I am.” He cleared his throat. “However, the company I work for– they aren’t exactly the most… golden of companies. Their CEO, Mr. Jung, has a gambling problem, causing him to rack up debts. Debts I can’t even begin to fathom. In order to pay off those debts, he tried to cut corners and sever contracts that would make him a hefty profit.” Taegun pulled at the collar of his shirt nervously as he paused in his confession. “Unfortunately, his clients found out and they sued. And I… I lost the case.”

Reaching out to him, you patted his knee. Perhaps this was leading up to the financial issues. “That’s not your fault. All you can do is state your case. It’s up to the judge to decide the outcome.”

“I lost on purpose.”

“Oh.” You withdrew my hand, unsure of what else to say. Hyunmin started to rub circles on your back. You could understand the morality issue and why he might have lost on purpose, but actions like that can have dangerous consequences. “Did they fire you?”

If he lost his job… maybe they weren’t going to ask you to move out. Maybe they were going to ask for your help. And of course you could help with the bills and other money issues. It was the least you could do after all they’ve done for you. They could have it all, if they needed it. You wouldn’t sacrifice your dreams for most people, but for them – absolutely.  

“No,” Taegun sighed. “But the CEO knows that I did it. He blames me for not securing him the win he thought he deserved and making him pay back the clients. The man he is in indebted to is powerful and doesn’t forgive easily. While his men were beating up Mr. Jung, he told them that I was the one who lost them their money but that I could pay back the debt.”

You scoffed. “How are you supposed to pay back his debt? Maybe he should sell one of his houses or a few of his cars. I’m sure he can live without them.”

Hyunmin started sniffling beside you. She covered her mouth to try and silence it, but you could still hear it clear as day.

“It’s not that simple,” Taegun corrected. “As far as the debtor is concerned, when I purposefully lost the case that would have settled the money, I took on the debt myself. After mentioning me during the beating, Mr. Jung also told them about you.”

“A-about me?” you stuttered. There was no way you heard that correctly. How could he even know anything about you? You’d met him once, at a Christmas party a few years ago. Why would a single mention of you ever leave his mouth? How could you be of any value?

A tear spilled over from Taegun’s eye. “Yes, you. (Y/n), your father was not the saint I led you to believe he was. The inheritance you set to gain in a few months was because of your father’s dealings with people like this. He profited by covering up their crimes and defending them.”

“What do you mean ‘people like this’?” you asked hesitantly, already having a feeling as to what the answer could be.

Neither of them could look at you when you tried to meet their eyes.

“People who deal in organized crime.”

You jumped up, not believing a word of it. “No! My father did not defend the mafia! Besides, he didn’t even live in this country! How could he defend them when he wasn’t even around?”

Hyunmin pulled down on your arm, forcing you to sit back down. “You won’t remember, but your father was gone most of the time, making several trips back and forth. And, he didn’t directly defend the members in court, but he consulted for them, found the loopholes and backstreets they needed to be acquitted.”

“Cover ups were your father’s specialty,” Taegun growled.

You threw your hands in the air. “So, what? They want to use my inheritance to pay for the debt? Fine! They can have it! I don’t want it anymore!”

“It’s not the money they want anymore. This man who’s owed the debt is the son of the man whose greatest enemy was the group your father worked for.” Taegun moved forward, cupping your face in his palms. “When I took you in, I hid you from your father’s group. The head had hoped to marry you off to his son, but I didn’t want that life for you. I wanted you to have a happy life, one that wasn’t surrounded in death and crime. It seems that my effort was pointless in the end.”

You wrapped your fingers around his wrists, unable to fully understand. “I don’t get it. What do you mean it was pointless? What else do they want if not the money?”

Taegun pulled you into his arms. He was crying now, heavy broken sobs vibrated his chest against your cheek. “If there was any other way, I would have taken it. But it was either this or they would kill us all and take you anyway.”

“What?” I whispered. “What are you talking about?”

“Soon, they will be here to take you,” Taegun sniffed back. “To marry their leader.”

Everything stopped. There was no way you heard that correctly. Marry? They wanted you to marry the leader of a mafia group?

No. No, you refused.

You tried to shove Taegun away but he held on tight, denying your escape.

A pounding knock came from the front door.

Finally releasing you, Taegun stood up to answer it. It was Hyunmin’s turn to wrap you up into her embrace as her sobs filled your ears. Three strangers in suits walked past Taegun and into the apartment without a word. All of their faces were void of any emotion, almost as if this tasked bored them.

“Is she ready?” the tallest one sniped. He had blood red hair and wore a long overcoat that stopped at his knees rather than the traditional suit jacket the others were clad in.

“We just told her,” Taegun replied quietly. “She didn’t even know until just now.”

The one with white blonde hair scowled. “Well, hurry up and pack something. We’ll have someone come tomorrow to pick up the rest of her stuff.”

You jumped up out Hyunmin’s arms. “No! I’m not going anywhere with you!”

“(Y/n), please!” Taegun stared at you with pleading eyes. In all your years, you’d never seen him cry - not at this magnitude - but right now it seemed like he would never stop.

Your jaw dropped, unable to believe that the two people who raised you were giving you away just like that. To marry not just someone you had never met, but a criminal who threatened and killed people for his own personal gain.

The shortest of the men stalked up and grabbed you by your upper arm, dragging you down the hallway.

“Which one’s yours?” he asked roughly. When you didn’t answer, he stared you down to let you know patience was not a virtue he possessed. “Which one?”

The fight slowly dying out of you, you pointed to the door that led to you room. Opening the door, he shoved you inside.

“Just pack what you can for now,” he ordered. “We can get the rest later.”

You may not have had a say in your life anymore, but you were determined to fight in any way you could. So, like the brat you never got to be, you followed his order, but slowly.

Taking your time, you heaved the suitcase down the shelf of the closet. You could feel his silent scowl burning holes in the back your head, but you refused to look at him. Laying the suitcase open on your bed, you packed away the things you could immediately think of. You shoved in your underwear and bras along with your small toiletry bag after you’d grabbed your favorite clothes. Wondering which books to take with you, you stared at your shelves. It was like trying to pick a favorite child.  

“Hurry up!” the man barked. His black hair was starting to fall onto his forehead from its previous, slicked back position. He leaned against Minah’s vanity, not caring if he knocked a few of her precious items over.

With your suitcase as full as you could get it, you zipped it up and placed it down on its wheels. Then you crossed your arms, glaring at the intruder.

“You done?”

“Packing? Yes.” You sat down on your bed, being as defiant as possible. “Do you mind leaving so I can get dressed?”

His eyes raked you up and down, making you sick to your stomach. “Nope. You’re fine as you are. Let’s go. The boss doesn’t have all day.”

Gripping your wrist in a suffocating vice, he hauled you out of the room, barely giving you enough time to grab your suitcase he’d forced you to pack in the first place. The wheels kept catching on the back of your heels, tripping you up. All that earned you was a few glares that didn’t resemble anything close to sympathetic.

Back in the living room, the two other men stood near the door as Taegun and Hyunmin sat on the couch. Hyunmin’s face was in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the sobs she couldn’t hold back.

“Ready?” the tall one asked.

Your handler nodded. The blonde opened the front door and started to head out.

“Wait,” you begged, looking desperately back over your shoulder at the people who’d raised you. Ignoring you, the short one kept going. “Wait! At least let me say goodbye!”

“We don’t have time for this,” he growled. With one last glance, your eyes met Taegun before the door closed on that part of your life forever.

The elevator ride was silent, not even music playing to break it. You refused to cry in these men’s presence, no matter how much you wanted to crumble and break down. The grip on your wrist never loosened and you were sure that there would soon be bruises.

Out in front of the building was a fourth man leaning against a black Cadillac and checking his watch. He was on the shorter side as well, a permanent smirk on his mouth. He, too, looked you up and down, his eyes lingering on your exposed legs.

“Not bad,” he commented.

“Keep your thoughts to yourself,” you growled.

All that did was make him laugh. “This is going to be fun.”

He popped open the trunk and took your suitcase, throwing it carelessly in the deep space. The back door was opened and they shoved you onto the seat when you didn’t enter quickly enough for them. Smart-Mouth slid into the driver’s seat. With the tall red-head climbing into the front passenger’s side, you forced to sit between the blonde and your handler.

You hugged your arms around yourself, trying to make your body as small as possible. No one spoke on the way to wherever it was that you were going. Too nervous to do otherwise, you kept your eyes down, wondering what you ever did to end up here.

It was all planned in your head. The day after your birthday, you were going to say a proper goodbye to your family and then hop on a plane to America. Once all the accounts were properly transferred in your name, you would go back to the airport and pick a random plane that would take you anywhere, a place that was new and foreign. You thought of your photo album that was hidden under your bed, filled with travel brochures and pictures you’d cut out of magazines, displaying the different places you wanted to experience. Now you never would and those pictures would remain as distant dreams.

Now, being forced into whatever this was, you could only see two possible ends. Either you ended up dead and your fiancé just pocketed the inheritance, or he kept you around for amusement, locked away forever. Whatever he decided to do, you would fight him the whole way. No matter what, you would not just lay down and be submissive. Even if it might seem ridiculous or insignificant, you would give yourself little victories.

“We’re here.”

You barely acknowledged any of your kidnappers as you were pulled from the car. The dimly lit parking garage was filled with six-figure cars that you would have never dared to even go near. Your bare feet slapped against the cold concrete as the group headed towards the elevator. The driver kept a tight grip on your suitcase while your handler kept a tight grip on you. The one time you dared to look over at the driver, he wiggled his eyebrows at you teasingly.

The elevator doors opened up into a small hallway with a large wooden door on the other side. The tall red head scanned his thumb on a pad next to the door before opening it and ushering everyone inside. The driver disappeared with your luggage down a hallway to the left while the tall one and the blonde drifted off to who knew where.

Glancing around as you were forced through the different rooms, you concluded that you were in a very expensive penthouse in the part of town that you’d always avoided. It was the kind of district reserved for multi-millionaires and celebrities. From abstract paintings to canvas photographs, large artwork covered the walls, but nothing personal. Nothing that gave a hint to what the owner – your future husband – looked like.

Finally arriving at the hellish destination, your handler knocked on a door at the end of a long hallway.

“Come in.”

Still not letting you go even though there was nowhere for you to run, he pushed open the door and led you inside.

The office was dark. Not due to lack of lighting – a large window that overlooked the surrounding skylight gave more than enough to fill the room - but because of the hues and shades of all the décor. The carpet was a deep gray, the walls a heavy navy blue. Even the wooden desk and chairs out in front of it were made of a dark wood. But the layout and furnishings of the room only held your attention for a few seconds. At the desk sat the real surprise.

You only ever saw him twice, but you knew that face. It seemed life was playing one last little joke on you. Behind the desk was no GQ model or fairy tale prince, but a mobster. Staring him down, you imagined jumping across the desk and landing a punch on his sharp cheek, but you were never that brave.

“Hello, (y/n),” he greeted with a smile. But this smile wasn’t friendly at all. It was calculating with a hint of victory. He motioned to the chair in front of him. “It’s a pleasure to see you again. My name is Junmyeon. Please sit.”

You didn’t move. A pair of hands on your shoulders that you were too weak to fight against made you take the seat. Your fighting spirit seemed to just amuse him.

“Do you know why you’re here?” he asked teasingly.

Through gritted teeth, you replied, “Someone - who has nothing to do with me - used me as a bargaining chip to clear away his debt.”

Junmyeon clicked his tongue. “Only partially true. Your adoptive father lost that case on purpose, which then led me to not get my money. But I hardly care about that.” He stood up and walked around the desk. Leaning against and leaving hardly any space between the two of you, he crossed his arms. “What I really want is the daughter of the Closer.”

You scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“Your father was famous among the families,” he explained. “He could close any case, get anyone off without stepping into a courtroom or a jail cell. Of course, that kind of quality work came at a hefty price.”

“What does that have to do with me?” you argued. “I didn’t know my father. My parents died when I was two. I didn’t know him as anything but a corporate lawyer until an hour ago.”

“As the daughter of the Closer, you were promised to Lee Junko once you were old enough.” He leaned down until you were nearly nose to nose. “While everything else that comes with you will be sweet indeed, the greatest prize will be to see Junko’s face when he learns he will never have you.”

How petty. You rolled my eyes. “There’s no point in having me. I know nothing of my father’s business. Sure, you’ll get your hands on a big inheritance. Big whoop.”

Junmyeon laughed. “You don’t even know, do you?” Taking his hands out of his pockets, he placed them on either arm rest, trapping you in. “When you turn twenty-three, you won’t just get a big check. Hidden in a bank somewhere in New York, there is a large safe deposit box with your father’s files on all his clients; their dirty secrets, their setups, who they have in their pockets. Whoever gets their hands on those files will have the entire underground world at their fingertips. You are the only one that bank will give the key to. You are the most valuable human being to any of the families right now.”

You wanted to join him in his laughter but for a different, more ironic reason. Being insignificant was your way of life. You didn’t want any of this. This wasn’t your life. This wasn’t your world. But maybe….

“If I get you those files,” you murmured, eyes trained down on your hands before looking up at him, “if you get what you want, will you let me go?”

For the first time, that smile faltered. Something soft flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before you could interpret it.

“No, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” you screeched. There was no point in keeping you prisoner here after he got what he wanted.

Straightening up, Junmyeon walked back around his desk, opening a drawer and throwing down a stack of papers half an inch thick and held together with a clip. It landed with a hard thud, making you flinch.

“That,” he pointed to the papers, “is a contract. They might not have told you, but your adoptive parents were in debt to us, too. Nothing too big and they always made their payments on time, never any problems. But this contract they signed cleared it, along with his boss’s debt. The stipulation in it is that we get married and you stay with me. If for any reason those two things are not followed through, the contract is null and void and the debt is due in full immediately.”

With a shaky hand, you picked up the contract, flipping through its pages. The words were all legal jargon, nothing you could understand. What you could absorb, however, were the little water stains that dotted the pages. They were even more collected on the final page where the signatures were. Each little drop was a stab to you heart. You knew they didn’t want to give you away, but they did. You weren’t a human being anymore. You were property.

Angry, you threw the contract back at him. “Fine. You win. Whatever. I’ll be your little pawn in your stupid game so you can be the reigning king. But it’ll be in name only. I refuse to be your trophy.”

Junmyeon nodded. “Deal. I didn’t actually want to be tied down. It’s all just legal maneuvers. You don’t have to worry about that.”

You stood up, just wanting to be alone. “Are we done here?”

He nodded and motioned to the other man in the office. “Show her to her room.”

This time you were allowed to just follow the man out of the room and down the halls rather than being dragged like a disobedient dog on a leash. Stopping in front of the the last door on the right, you were relieved that it sat on the opposite side of the penthouse, far from that snake.

“You’ll stay here,” he informed you. “Better get used to it.” He opened the door, shoved you inside, and shut it again with a slam.

Your new resting place was the kind that people dreamed of. The walls were a dark blue, somehow making the room feel bigger than it was, although you were sure two of your old rooms could fit comfortably inside here.

The décor just added to the extravagance of the room. A queen-sized bed sat in the middle of the far wall, flanked by matching nightstands on either side. Corresponding to the color scheme perfectly, the comforter looked fluffy and soft, resting without a wrinkle on the silk sheets. The empty walk-in closet housed a round ottoman and built in drawers. Martha Stewart couldn’t have designed it better.

You hated it.

Without a second thought, you would trade it all just to go back home. How would you sleep without the soothing breaths of Minah just five feet away? No longer would you be waking up to Hyunmin’s singing as she cooked breakfast. You would never again be interrupted in your reading by Taegun yelling at Mingyu to take his school work seriously. Little things that used to annoy you or drive you insane were suddenly things you wanted to be bombarded with again.

The weight of the situation finally baring down, you collapsed onto the floor. Pulling your knees in close to your chest, you cried harder than you ever had before, cursing the father who brought this upon you.

[ain-t-bovvered]

Bumpy road to Love 8

EDITED & COLLABORATED with @waywardbaby

Pairing:  Dean x Reader

Genre: 40s-50s Au. Singer/ young Reader x veteran WWII/ young Dean.

Warning: the story keep going back and forth in the reader’s present and her past, and from joy and carefree to angst and angst and also angst

Disclaimer: the story takes place in the first years of WWII to the years right after, but I love the style and fashion of the 50s so some of the visuals and lifestyle will be not super time accurate, especially during the flashbacks, bear with it.

Summary:People use to say that bad memories stay with us forever, lurking in the darkest corners of our heart, but they are wrong. You can always escape bad memories , you don’t want them, your mind protects you from them, but, good memories…..the good memories are the ones that your heart wants to indulge in, a way to hold on to the things you love, the things that made you happy…and the things you never thought you’d lose .Good memories are the ones that drive you insane.

Catch up here : Part 1  Part 2   Part 3   Part 4    Part 5   Part 6   Part 7

flashbacks are in italics

8.

It's already dark outside when I slip my key in the lock. I feel so tired.

No. Tired doesn't even begin to describe it. This feeling of complete and utter draining both of  the body but mostly of the soul. I can still feel that cold grip of sadness that washed over me the minute I had walked in there. All the memories. All the could haves that went through my head and scratched more wounds to my already broken soul.

The click of the lock releases the door and I slowly push it open. The creaking of the hinges reminding me again that I have to take care of that. I enter and the minute the door closes, I lean against it, close my eyes and try to take a deep breath. My purse hits the ground, my shoes are kicked in a dark corner and my gloves are thrown on the table near the door.

As my eyes slowly open I try to adjust to the lack of light in the room. What I do hear though is the static sound of the gramophone’s needle coming from Chuck’s room. That man, I swear. He'd forget his head if it weren't attached to his shoulders. He must have left without taking the record off.

I drag my feet towards his room and push the door open. And I'm greeted with an image that shows me exactly what he has been doing all those hours I was out. The window is open, curtains floating inside the room by the cold, night breeze. Taking the shapes of ghosts that we both know will always linger in our hearts and minds. The needle is indeed scraping at the old record the way this day is scraping at my heart. A small lamp, barely sheds light in the room allows me to see Chuck slumped in his armchair, still wrapped in the same blanket I had left him this morning, his head tilted to the side as if he were sleeping.

I make my way to the gramophone and lift the arm. Placing it back to the armrest I sink the entire room in complete silence. 

Next, the window. I rush to close it in a desperate attempt to lock out the chill of the night.

“Weeelll, if it isn't my girl!”, I hear a slurred voice and turning my head I notice that Chuck isn't sleeping. I move closer to him and sit on the floor, right next to his legs. The cup of cold, half drunk coffee that was in his hand this morning is replaced by an empty whiskey bottle. As I look carefully I see another bottle on the floor, that too almost empty.

Reaching my hand up, I caress his cheek, his beard scraping against my palm. He leans into my hand, his eyes squeeze shut and I see tears escaping from their corners. Placing his hand on mine, he removes it from his cheek and kisses my knuckles.

“Why are we like this, Y/N?” he manages to ask in a slow, quiet voice. “What happened to us? To our dreams? To our needs? To our lives? Look at you! A beautiful, well brought up young woman being stuck in a bar. Singing to desperate and desolate people trying to drown their pathetic existence in booze.”

Touching my wrist, feeling his watch on it, he lets out a small, bitter chuckle. “Waiting for something that will never happen. Holding on to a moment in the past. Searching for a pair of eyes that you will probably never see again!”

I know he's hurting. I can feel it pouring out from every pore of his body. I know he doesn't want to hurt me and I also know that he's not wrong. I can't be mad at him. But his words sting.

“And then, there's me!!”

Another chuckle that makes his chest rise and fall.

“The once great and much promising piano player. With the much esteemed scholarship to the country’s best music school. Now, a washed out, scarred for life, cheap ass musician. Trying to entertain the people who stumble in the bar. Trying to feel better for myself by comparing their misery to mine. Trying and failing”

“Chuck, baby”, I say and I get up from my spot on the floor, trying to make him stand too. “Don't say such things. You are not washed up. It's just the booze talking right now. Yes, we've had it rough. Yes, we've suffered and hurt. But we have come through the other side with our  heads held high. We wear our scars with pride, my friend. So, no more talking like that. Now, get yourself in bed before I have to throw a bucket of water on your head in order to sober you up”.

Incoherent words slurred out Chuck’s mouth as he leaned on me, the man was heavy but in that moment it felt like he weighed nothing. Shuffling toward the bed, he lets himself fall heavily on the mattress.

“Did you eat something? Anything? “

“I don’t know” I struggle to understand what his drunk words were saying.

“I’ll make some sandwiches alright?” I move away but his hand blocks me, gripping my wrist.

“Stay...for a bit, will ya?”

I sigh,smile a little and softly sit down, his hand sliding to grip mine as he lay exhaling against the headstand. His forehead is furrowed, deep lines adding years on that juvenile face, his usual bright blue eyes looking muddy and grey. I comb some curls out of the way and smooth down worry and stress.

“Where?”

“Bastogne”

Shivers creep down my spine. I know every battle Chuck fought in, in raw and vivid details. I didn’t need him to explain or give me anything else.

“Merry Christmas”

He chuckled, a sound that got warped unpleasantly by his own shivers and rattling teeth. It wasn’t that cold in the room, but what Chuck was feeling was an old kind of cold, one that had seeped deep within his bones and memories a long time ago. One that he was never able to melt and he probably never will .

I get up, ignoring his whimper, and grabbed another blanket, wrapping him in it. If I could just give him the illusion of being extra warm and safe by burying him under layers and layers of blankets , well that’s what I’ll do.

“Want me to get you some hot chocolate ?” I whisper and he nods softly. Before walking out the room I hear him shift a bit under the covers.

“Extra marshmallows” his tiny voice reaches me.

“All the marshmallows” I say just as softly.

Making my way to the kitchen, my eyes catch the purse I left on the floor beside the door. My mind goes to that old box I had found that afternoon in the attic of my old house, still sitting in the trunk of the car.

I can think about that later.

I should keep these journeys to the past in check.

“Hey kitten! What are you doing here on your free night? Chuck’s here?”

“Mr.Crowley...” I nod softly at the owner and partner of my friend. A Brit of Scotts roots, jumped out of nowhere with money and a taste for lost souls to save or own, Fergus MacLeod -never call him that- was still a mystery to me. He expects all the reverence and gives nothing but familiarity in return. Do your job well and give him all the respect he craves and he’ll be the best boss you could ever wish for. And maybe the feeling of having sold your soul to the devil will fade. Eventually.

Like a perfect gentleman, he opens the club’s door for me and helps me out my coat, draping it across his arm, offering the other one as he escorts me down the dark stairs. Again he lifts the heavy red curtains and follows me in the warm illuminated room.

“Chuck’s not feeling well tonight. I figured I’ll give him some space. So since I have nowhere else to be - thanks”, he offers me the bar stool and walks behind the counter, “- since I have nowhere else to be, I thought of dropping by for some extra cash. That is if there’s room for me, of course”

“Darling, if there’s no room, I’ll make it happen anyway. Hard days?” he said, his scheming eyes reading me like an open book, it seems.

“...restless nights.”

He clicks his tongue and places two glasses in front of us, filling them with the ambery content of his own personal silver flask. I smack my lips, eagerly pouring the high quality scotch whiskey down my throat and feeling it pool heavy and hot like lava in my belly.

“Thanks. What’s the lineup tonight?”

“Swing”

“Great”

“You know I would change it in a heartbeat for you, but we are fully booked tonight.”

“It’s alright boss, it’s a good distraction”

I swirl the liquid in the glass, the ice cubes clicking, “When should I come up?”

“Whenever you want. Just talk to the band, it’s still early for now.”

“Sure”

I can feel him studying me.

“Come on lass”, he says finishing his drink and scribbling something on the napkin. I raise my eyes, looking at him confused.

“Dinner, my treat. How does italian sounds?”

“I’m not really hungry…” I say, despite my stomach which can be heard protesting.

Crowley just stares, hand steady and unmoving, lifted midair, waiting for me. With a sigh I reach for it and jump off the stool. As he helps me with my coat again, we step into the early evening.

“You … you signed up for the army?”

We are walking down the stone path that leads to the gates, where his car is parked. My voice comes out high and unsteady.

“I did. Well not right away. I still had Sam to take care of , but….” he looks at me and there is a sort of concealed pride in his demeanor. “I did it not long ago, but it was before … before meeting you, actually.”

I stay silent, my steps slow and heavy.

“I did it for my country Y/N, it’s m-” “Oh, say ‘it’s my duty’ and I’ll throw you one”, I snap.

We fall silent again.

“If I have to go to war I’d prefer to be fully and properly trained, not shipped out to the enemy after barely having learned how to hold a rifle.” I hum, softly kicking a stray pebble, sending it bouncing ahead of us. “...So, now what?”

“Now … I just wait to be called to get poked by some doctors to see if I’m fit for duty”

“I don’t - … ”

I stop but he doesn’t notice nor hear me. I stare at his back. He has shed his jacket, now thrown on his shoulder and loosened his tie, unbuttoning a few buttons, the lapels of his white pressed shirt swaying a little with the summer breeze. I can’t hear the gravel crunching under his shoes nor the crickets that are loud in our silence. I can only hear my heart beating in my head, loud and erratic. I bit the inside of my cheek and stare at my feet. They feel like stone.

“ … Y/N?”

He’s turned to face me now, and I see his shiny new shoes close to mine, the scent of a more grown up man’s cologne not matching his young face.

“Y/N…” a whisper.

Stubbornly, I don’t lift my eyes.

A warm hand cups my face. I don’t want to but my head leans on it and I feel the first tear rolling down, hot and heavy. The sound of fabric brushing over fabric and I see the jacket on the dusty gravel as I get wrapped into a warm embrace … and I just … let go.

“And whatever red wine is the most expensive, the bottle from the back not the first one, thank you, love”. Crowley hands back the menù to the waitress, slipping a huge tip in her hand. Her eyebrows barely twitch and her smile suddenly looks actually real. We are indeed going to have the best service tonight.

“Aaaah…  “ he exhales leaning in his chair, “... what a world, eh? Just wave some green papers and suddenly you are treated like the Pope.”

“It’s how it has always been”

“Your refreshing cynicism is what keeps me going ”

Whatever my mood is, Crowley always manages to steal a smile from me. I like him but, God, I don’t trust him at all.

“So what happened to Chucky boy?” he inquires as he is buttering his bread, looking uninterested. “Last night’s storm was pretty strong. It …brought back things” I say as I snap a breadstick in half.

“Yes … of course it did”

I peek at him fast enough to see a distant look in his eyes, quickly replaced by understanding. I don’t know a thing of his role or what impact the war had on Crowley, or even if it touched him at all. Now that I think about it, none of us know a thing about his past. Just that he has an English accent and money to spend.  

I’m tempted to ask but the waitress comes back with the wine. He tastes it and with a smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes ,but that hardly happens anyway, he gives her another generous tip, and I know he’s satisfied.

“Never fully tip at first. Wait until they actually do their job well and then give them the rest” “Mr. Crowley, not to sound disrespectful, but it’s not like I can ever afford to tip people in places like this”

“Never say never, kitten.”, he says with a cryptic look on his face before getting distracted as our food gets placed in front of us. I’m suddenly very hungry. “Νow, eat lass. Tonight I want you radiant”.

And indeed radiant I had been.

Incredible what a full stomach and expensive alcohol can do to one’s mood. I swayed, danced on stage, smiled, flirted and laughed with the audience and the couples dancing.

“What did you take tonight and where can I get some?” even Benny couldn’t get under my skin tonight. I just giggled, happily tipsy and kissed his cheek when I finished, my draping lusciously over the bar counter number, the one that I hated the most because of the proximity to the lonely souls that couldn’t get a double table. But tonight I couldn’t get bothered. Tonight, life felt great for some reason.

I shouldn’t be here.

Son of a bitch! The fuck am I here again? Jesus, Winchester, really?.

“Hey man, are you going in or not? You are blocking the way”.

I apologies and step aside. The man with an arm draped over the shoulders of a blonde girl with big doe eyes, throws me a side glance as I tip my hat to them. Guess someone left their manners at home.

I stay on the sidelines of the crowd that seem to flood the place. The club didn't look that famous the night I stumbled in here by chance. I look at the playbill for tonight’s schedule and I don’t recognize the swing band’s name.

“I heard that tonight that babe is gonna sing us some with the band”

My eyes follow the man who said that with too much enthusiasm and a leery expression.

“Y/N always makes the swing nights so worth the price of staying till closing time. Mr.Crowley always raises the prices when she’s here”. I hear a young man, barely legal, commenting to his friends.

“Yeah, well don’t get your hopes up, loverboy.” Another one comments overhearing the young group, “Bet down there, she’s as cold as her stare when you try to buy her a drink”

I feel the leather of my gloves squeak under my grip as I squeeze my fist.

“Riiiight, I bet you were a complete gentleman about it. Gave her the right compliments and all” one barks a laughter.

“Well, my hand surely complimented her ass, that’s for sure”

The whole group and a few people close enough to hear, erupted in a gross laughter as they squeezed to get inside.

I begin to regret even more coming here tonight, I could have just got drunk somewhere else.  I make to leave when-

“Maggie!” a loud blonde woman bumps into me as I turn around. I steady her.

“ Oofta...oh I’m sorry, sir”

“No problem ma’am” I say bending down to retrieve her purse, “Here you go”.

“Thanks” she smiles so big that it almost blinds me. Her eyes, that scream trouble, look behind me.

“Donna, are you causing trouble again?” “You betcha”, she steps away from me to greet her friend, linking their arms together.  She addresses me again, “Thank you again sir, enjoy the show!”, her friend just nodding at me coldly.

I’m still close enough to hear them talking excited.

“So Y/N is finally gracing us with some swing?”

“So she has said”

“Looking forward to that”

“Me too, I love her, but I swear it’s nice to hear her singing something cheerful for once”

“Oh stuff it Maggie! Don’t be nasty”

“What?...it’s true”

Their voices get lost in the excited crowd.

I bite my tongue, curiosity creeping down my legs as I take the first steps inside.

The room is hot and full of people. I see all the tables are booked or already full. Most of the couples and crowd fighting to stand at the sides of the dancefloor, waiting eagerly as the band starts to get their instruments ready. I look at the bar counter. That too is full, half with giggling girls trying to get some of the other half, of single men, to buy them a drink. The bartender is a stoic man with kind eyes, masterfully handling all that crowd by himself, juggling and sending waitresses up and down the tables. I stand aside, feeling in the way of everyone once again, my back pressing against the brick wall near the public telephone hiding in the shadows.

From here I have a good view of the whole room, and being in a higher position, the black mirror stage is clearly visible.

At the roll of the drum, the band announces the start of their session and the first eager couples shuffle in the middle of the dance space. The music is pleasant , the band is good and I find myself tapping my foot in rhythm.

“Sir, would you like a drink?” a chirpy waitress asks me in a high voice, easily heard over the music.

“Yes … yes, thank you”

She blinks at me before smiling nervously, “Would you like a drink list?”

I realize that she is waiting for my order, hoping the dark spot would hide my slight blush I blurt out the first brand of Scotch Whiskey that I could remember. I’m not a fussy drinker anyway, as long as it burns.

My gaze follows her as she bends down to shout the order, the scruffy bartender’s eyes catch mine and I feel like he’s sizing me up. He nods slightly and I do the same.

Later when the girl comes back with my drink I see she’s struggling with a stool. I quickly grab it from her.

“Figured you’ll be more comfortable like this.”

She waits for me to sit down, “Here you go”, she hands me the glass.

“Thank you swe -, thank you”. She blushes slightly as I hand her the money.

“Keep the change”.

“Thank you sir, enjoy your night”

I almost snort before taking the first sip. Oh damn, that’s good! I roll the whiskey on my tongue, actually enjoying the smoothness and rich flavor. 

I look up and I again cross eyes with the bartender, smiling satisfied. I guess my face says it all. I tip the glass in his direction and he chuckles before going back to his job.

This place is not that bad afterall. Warm room, decently illuminated, comfy seats, nice service, a damn good whiskey, mixed crowd, great band and-

The crowd erupts in cheers and whistles and a punch in the stomach catches me by surprise as my eyes get drawn to the centre of the stage.

She waits for the crowd to fall silent and with an imperceptible hand gesture, the bright lights in her face lower to a soft glow.

I can see her clearly now .

Her lips are full and a deeper red than that night, her eyes seem more defined and bigger, the artificial blush that covers her cheeks is a completely different shade than her real one. Somewhere deep down, my naive self still hopes to be the only one to have seen that.

Her hair is curled and styled rigidly, they almost don’t move with her head.

“Good evening ladies and gents. A big applause for the -”

It’s the first time I hear her voice again. Even if it’s her stage one. Overconfident, husky, her accent different, modern. Even her lilt is different. She looks and sounds like someone else. I don’t know this woman.

This was a mistake.

I throw down the whole drink, set on leaving , but the first singing words out of that stranger steal my breath away and wrap around my heart for the second time.

When she sings, that stage mask falls. She sounds like a summer breeze, toffee apples, laughs and kisses on dusty cliffs and sunsets.

Everything is too much.

I stumble back , my hand blindly searching for the stool, my suit jacket scrapes unpleasantly on the raw wall behind me.

I manage to sit down without embarrassing myself too much. Everybody’s eyes are busy elsewhere. My palms are clammy and cold, there’s a lump in my throat that just won’t go down, no matter how many times I swallow.

“Smokes, pal?”

“Huh?” I barely register the stranger who is handing me his packs of cigarettes.

“Sorry … you looked like you needed one”, the stranger starts to slowly retreat his hand. I stop him, eyes still fixed on her.

“Ah … yes thank you”, I said grabbing the one that is sticking out. Patting the sides of my coat I remember I don’t have my lighter with me. The metallic clicks near me tell me I don’t need mine after all.

I turn my head toward the flame, my eyes still trapped by her.

“She’s good, right?”

This is the last thing I want to talk about right now.

“Yes”, I exhale the smoke, slowly. “Yes, she is”

The stranger is playing with his lighter, like it's his nervous tick. He keeps flicking the cap open and snapping it close. My eyes are drawn to its silver shine, and the screaming eagle badge engraved on it.

“...Rendezvous….”

The stranger’s head turns sharply at me, “...with destiny” he says, almost whispering.  “Where you...?”

“Nah … 90th Infantry”

He chuckles, “Tough hombres. You guys, were indeed tough sons of bitches”.

“I could say the same”

A burst of applause erupts in the room, diverting our attention to the stage again. She has announced a break with promises of returning with a surprise. Her descent from the stage is accompanied by whistles and cheers as the music covers them up.

“Well, that’s my cue”

The stranger pats my shoulder, cigarette butt pinched between his teeth. “Don’t run away man, I’ll catch up with you later”

He moves quickly and nervously through the crowd before turning back to me again.  “Name’s Chuck by the way. Chuck Shurley”

He waved, voice strained over the noise. I nod at him chuckling, only for my smile to die on my throat as I catch him walk up to Y/N, pick her up and swirl her around, as she laughs delighted.

Now I remember who that is.

Well, I guess that’s my cue to get the fuck out this place.

That has been a big mistake indeed, Winchester.

A big, fucking mistake.

@dean-winchesters-bacon @curly-haired-disaster  @babyimp1967  @emoryhemsworth    @wingedcatninja   @imma-winchester-addict    @southbreak       @maimalfoi      @missjenniferb      @purpleskiesandcherrypies      @hannahindie     @marilynnlew       @mariekoukie6661     @wayward-and-worn     @thewinchestertales     @raelady1184     @mah1c     @spnskinnyballs    @starfirerules    @hunterswearingplaid     @sculptorofbeginnings     @younoeatcheeseyounobefat     @icequeen6666       @brokenhearted-littlegirl       @theangelwinchester      @missihart23      @weathergirl83       @ravenhg         @thisismysecrethappyplace     @yllwtaxi      @soloarcana     @itsstillnotwhatyouthink      @sexykitten253     @ackleholicwinchester    @clarinette07       @biawol    @snffbeebee      @daskleinevolk     @oldfreakything       @energizerbunnay     @hobby27       @cloverhighfive     @theroleplayer-gameaddiction      @silent-loucidity      @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover      @dammitsammy     @mirandaaustin93     @srsllydunnodoncare     @flipperjanga11     

[ombreecha]

Too Good

Series: Endurance Fandom: Naruto Pairing: SasuSaku Rated: M Prompt: my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick AU Notes: I’ve literally been saving this prompt since like September of last year. The first time I saw it I just fuckin knew I had to do it at some point. You can thank @kingofthesharingan​ and my weekly NSFW Monday too because Monday sucks so why not make it a day to look forward to.

Chilled air, and puffs of white coat everything in sight. Her hands are gloved but that doesn’t stop her from rubbing them together to provide herself with more heat. Christmas is around the corner and the company party is even closer. It’s her first time attending. Anxious? Absolutely. Scared? Beyond her wildest dreams.

Her seniority with the company wasn’t high. Six months she’s been employed by Uchiha Corp, and it’s been a blessing if anything. Her boss is a lovely woman. When she had been interviewed the woman had held such stiff air about her. Poised. Serious. Collected.

Mikoto Uchiha was anything but stiff, serious—let alone collected. They couldn’t be further from the truth. Now as for poised? Absolutely. The woman had some serious elegance to her. It made it perfectly clear that she had been breed for such things. She can’t help but look up to this woman who had so much on her plate, and still managed to be kind, charismatic, and loving.

What she hadn’t expected though was how much her boss had begun to push. What was her boss pushing? How perfect her son was for her. There’s a burn upon her ears. Every time she brings this boy up she can’t help but feel embarrassed. There’s no doubt that Mikoto had probably raised a wonderful son—but she’s not entirely sure about anyone born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

That’s not even bringing for the possible conflict of interest that lies in such relationships. She likes her job. The last thing she needs is for it to be ripped out from under her all over some rich kid who may or may not be attractive.

She’s not doubting Mikoto’s genes—but she just can’t help but be skeptical. There is such a thing as too good to be true.

The commute home isn’t long and the only positive is the subway is heated. The rock of the train car isn’t bad. It’s become a part of her daily life, and while at first she had struggled when she moved her it’s barely even felt. All she knows is she needs a good night rest before she attends this company party—and meets this all too talked about son.

There’s a thick swallow and a groan as she remembers her bosses teasing. She had supposedly spoken just as much about her to him as well. There’s no way he wasn’t dreading this as much as herself. Hopefully. Okay. So, she’s not so sure. She’s heard a lot but that doesn’t mean she knows anything about this kid outside of the boasts coming from an obviously proud mother.

A groan escapes her lips as she peels her heels off her feet and leaves them scattered about in the entry way. Her bag hits the floor not far behind as she seeks to get herself relaxed and comfortable. Swapping from suit to a night shirt she’s dug from the bottom drawer is easily done. A bowl of ice cream, and some television is just the right combination to washing away the office tension from her shoulders.

A hum, and a flicker through channels as she lays upon the couch as unladylike as possible. If only her boss could see her now. Yeah—her boss has probably painted her as so much more than she really was. Fingers roll through her hair before swiping her phone right off coffee table. That thought right there has brought back the tension in full force. Groaning is all she can do as she flips through the screen.

Swinging her leg over the other she can’t stop the habitual light motion that follows. There’s always one way to get herself relaxed and she’s not afraid to use it. Puffing her cheeks she’s tapping away at the keyboard. The individual she’s texting would most likely fall into the category of a one night stand. It had been just the fix she had needed months ago. Work was at an all time high in the stress department had the time and one thing lead to another—she had ended up in a bar for a quick drink before heading home when he had run into her at the counter.

No names exchanged. Just clothes hitting the floor and him pressing her against her bed. Her mother taught her better sure, but sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. It had been exciting. Sloppy, and intoxicated, as well, but exciting nonetheless. Humming is all she can do as she thinks back to that moment. They hadn’t met back up since that first time. They still refrained from exchanging names, but what they did exchange was numbers. Once in a while she’ll shoot him a text requesting a simple picture because that’s what gets her through the stress at work anymore.

She says it’s simple, but never in her wildest dreams would she had thought this boy would comply. —and he does every single time. No questions asked.

It’s an odd little arrangement, if she’s being honest, considering the lack of personal information, but she’s not complaining. It keeps things from being messy and god knows she’ll probably never run into him again unless they set it up. All of this is good enough for her.

So when her phone goes off there’s the smallest of smiles spreading across his face. It had been more than good and maybe that’s what had pushed her to ask for it the first time, and the time after that—and that’s whats gotten her brazen enough to ask for it whenever she’s needing some alone time.

Dick pics weren’t exactly something she was notorious for requesting. —but she’d be damned if she didn’t ask him for one once in a while.

That quick look over and she’s feeling warm. It’s not hard to just think of the way his hands had gone over her skin, or how his breath had been right against her ear before he made his way down.  Sliding his fingers upon her stomach and then wrapping around the around the band of her panties he had tugged them up at first which she hadn’t been prepared for, and then in only another moment—a second—she could feel his tongue going over the fabric and against where she wanted him most. The tug upon them had her hips lifting to give him an easier time to remove them. Lips against her thigh and the way he slid them down her legs had her panting.

He hadn’t been shy when he had thrown them behind him and across the room. All of this is vivid and she’s already accepted it’ll be a long time coming before she’ll stop using that one night as her primary masturbation material. That’s all she has to tell herself when she’s dipped her own hand underneath her panties.

Her fingers can’t possibly replicate the way his tongue had dipped in between her folds, nor could they give the exact same feeling that came with he had slid it over her clit. It’ll do though—she doesn’t need much. The buck of her hips is all too remembered. He had slide his hands up her sides and pressed his hands flat against her pelvis to keep her steady as he continue to have his fill of her.

Her neck stretches back letting her head roll against the couch cushion. Lips open and a moan escapes her as she starts with one finger working herself slow and evenly. It wasn’t as frenzied as he had been. Starved is what she would of considered him in that moment. Sliding her tongue against the roof of her mouth is barely noted as she takes another glance upon the requested picture of the night.

It’s got her hot and ready as she thinks of how it had slide inside of her. That first initial penetration was always the most satisfying. Filling her up, and with her leg draped over his shoulder. He wasn’t loud but those hot breaths back upon her skin had been more than enough. He spoke on grunts and the occasional groan as he started out slow.

Adding another finger doesn’t do him justice but she, just as with everything else, had accepted she would never be able to replicate the way he had felt. None of that stops her from enjoying what she’s doing to herself nonetheless. When she quickens her fingers pace she’s arching and letting out hot breaths. She’s enjoying herself far too much—thank god for this man and his dick pictures.

The release she feels is bittersweet to a point. It���s explosive because she’s picturing him slamming into her and nibbling upon her ear, and then it’s over all too soon. The way she rolls her head back as she rides it out reminds her briefly of the fact her fingers are much too small compared to him literally filling her up and stretching her up. That thought right there has her riding it out longer before settling her hips down upon the couch.

Catching her breath she brings her hand from out of her underwear and swings herself forward. Clean up is quick and simple, and damn does she feel better. Who cares about the company party? She got off and that’s all she cares about in this moment before shutting the lights out and nestling into bed.

The next day isn’t bad. A shower, brushed teeth, and a small look within the mirror has her ready for whatever happens. All she’s gotta do is politely reject whoever her bosses son is. This little arrangement of hers is more than enough.

Heels click against the office floor and the filing of her paperwork is for the most part easily accomplished even if their filing system needs some serious work.  The occasional glance over her wrist watch comes as the clock ticks closer and closer to the company party.

The press of her finger hitting the final punch upon her time card for the week is oddly satisfying, and so as she follows behind others to one of their many large meeting spaces she can’t help but feel like all that anxiety had been for nothing. Scared? What’s there to be scared of?

Mingling is easy. She gets along with most of her coworkers and thankfully she’s yet to run into her boss let alone her son. The foods decent, and the drinks refreshing. She’d never drink heavily in front of her coworkers so she goes for the simple things like hard cider and sipping on water.

Just as she’s locked in a conversation with a boy of obsidian hair and one of the biggest smiles she’s ever seen fingers have made their way upon her shoulder. The turn of her head comes and there’s no surprise to be had when it’s her boss.

Smiling is easy especially with a woman like Mikoto before you. She brightened a room, and the smile she’s always got upon her own lips is contagious.

“Ah, Sakura-san I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” there’s the smallest of laughs and then a step back from her as she seeks to introduce someone behind her—no doubt the son.

“Sorry I hadn’t seen you with there being so many of us.” the smile she has is genuine and then as her eyes move see this highly praised son does it start to slip from her lips.

One moment, and then two. They’re just starting at each other—and for the love of god tell her she’s just seeing things. Tell her that this man before her isn’t the same man from months ago. Tell her that she’s lost her mind and that she’s obviously seeing things.

Those lips of his are tilting upon the corners and then there's the hooding of his eyes as they trail from her feet up to her eyes once again. He’s analyzing her as much as she is him—perhaps he doesn’t remember her. Maybe, just maybe, she’s the only one recognizing the situation at hand.

If you had told her, her one night stand would have been with her bosses son she would of laughed in your face.

Equally though if you had told her she’d been requesting dick pics from her bosses soon she would told you that only happened in those romance novels she had loved in college.

The swallow she makes is thick. Uncomfortable doesn’t even begin to describe this feeling in her chest.

“Sakura-san, are you okay?” there’s concern etched within the question.

Flickering her eyes from one pair of obsidian to the other and she’s plastering the fakest of customer service smiles upon her face. Working at a Starbucks part-time had served her well for moments like this.

“I’m perfectly fine.” she gives a nod of her head and then sets her eyes back upon this man she had literally just the night before masturbated to.

Those lips are shifting into the truest of smirks. He’s not letting it just rest upon the corners. His shoes are firm with each step and then with an ease and grace she can’t remember him having outside of the rough and exciting moments in bed so many months ago does he grab her hand and bring it up to his lips.

Her cheeks are warm and she wants to bury herself right here and right now. Anywhere but here would be an absolute blessing—but that’s not an option because god literally seems to be enjoying himself with this little stunt.

“My mother’s told me so much about you, Haruno Sakura-san.” he hasn’t let go of her hand, and he’s not released her eyes either.

There’s a hesitation and then the forceful removal of her eyes as her fingers grip upon her pencil skirt. If the earth would please just open up right here, and right now that would be amazing.  She’s not asking for a lot. Just a simple miracle in which she’s swallowed whole—and not exactly like she had been months ago by this man staring so smitten down at her.

“Likewise, Uchiha Sasuke-san.”

[the-canary]

Starlight - B.B (3/6)

Summary: Mysterious, but life changing things always happen if you just let life take its course – you decided to try it for once. (Modern AU!Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Prompt: Emily Dickinson: XXI

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 

A/N: This is for @abovethesmokestacks ‘s Summer Writing Challenge.  At the end, I am not trying to make the main character seem vain or greedy, as shown with the constellation’s background story, but the beauty and other things that she holds from Bucky’s POV. Just wanted to point that out. 

Feedback is always welcomed.

As much as Bucky loves traveling and seeing the stars from all types of different scenery while enjoying the type nature that you just can’t get in New York, he still has his bad days. There are days were he shuts himself in his hotel for days, where the screams and darkness living within his mind suffocate him. There are other days where he is completely numb, ignoring the red in his eyes and the red from where he scratches too hard -- but, he thinks he deserves it after all he has done.

It’s one of those times when he slowly makes his way way into central Arizona after spending some time in Utah. From the very beginning, Bucky felt like something was off -- he was too hot, the desert reminded him too much of his time back in the Army, and the coldness that settled over the desert dug too deeply into the scar tissue of his left arm and the invisible wounds that ran up and down his body.  

“ Hey Sam ,” he calls his sometimes friend after being woken up by the hotel staff -- his neighbors had given numerous complaints throughout the night of his screaming.

They threaten to kick him out without remorse, worst case scenario they call the police, but Bucky leaves to another hotel closer to the road  before they can.

“ Hey Stevie ,” he cries to his sleepy best friend, as the unfriendly darkness (the one without stars) causes him to cry all night, though he tries to muffle the sound until he gets two hours of fitful sleep.

He’s no good, is all Bucky can think to himself, as tears stains run down his cheeks and there’s a heavy feeling in his chest. He turns over and reaches out for his little journal. Blue eyes stare that the picture tapped in the beginning for a long time, as he wishes a certain someone was here with him but at the same time, wishes (and is happy) she is so far from him -- probably has already forgotten about him. He lets out another choked sob at the thought.

He’s no good for anybody.  

 Arizona has to be the worst state you have ever been to, though it wasn’t you’re doing -- everything just seems against from the beginning. You had felt a sense of renewal after coming back from New Mexico and it showed in both your professional and personal life, as you finished projects with stellar praise from your superiors and you had even gone out a couple of times with your friends and had even started talking to Wanda every once and awhile. Things were going great and then your supervisor, Mrs. Hill, had decided to send you to a week long seminar in Arizona, and while you had been excited in the beginning -- the traveling details, extra work hours, and general disregard for your health slowly changed your mood. It also didn’t help that it was the fucking middle of summer and your mother had been in the same area, through her own work was well, causing you to meet up as a result for a quick family dinner. However you should know by now those never ended well.

This what you do, what a disappointment. No romantic life either, what good are you  for anyways?

By midweek, you were tired from the lack of sleep and anxiety running through your veins leading to you  sitting in the middle of your room with your notebook, hoping that writing might calm you down like it usually did -- it wasn’t doing a good job. You wanted to go home, you wanted someone to tell you it was going to be all right, but even with all the small changes that you had been making… you didn’t have any of that. Why didn’t you? Weren’t you good enough? Was your mother right about the choices you had made since leaving her home all those years ago?

The anxiety and suffocating loneliness becomes too much, as you walk out of your hotel room in shorts and a old t-shirt to look for a vending machine, just to get out of your head and focus on something else -- that’s when you see him standing next to your destination, red-eyed with shaggy clothing and hair as you stop breathing for a moment.

The universe always knows what you need, as your grandmother used to say.  

 Flagstaff, AZ

“Bucky?” a soft voice drags Bucky from his endless tasks of counting the stars from his current viewpoint. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than staying in his room by his lonesome, but the sound of that voice makes him think he’s finally lost it. Why would she be here of all places?

He wipes away the sleep from his eyes, to make sure he isn’t dreaming, “Doll, what ya doing here?”

You smile as the sound of his voice, as you step a bit closer to him. You both look like individual wrecks in the middle of the night, but seeing him just lifts your spirits like they haven’t been in a long while. He straightens himself up, as you look at the machine trying to pick what to choose, as you explain that you are here for work purposes and he tells you that he’s still traveling, actually on his way to see the Grand Canyon. With the trade of plenseteries over, there is only one other ignored issue  to bring up between the two of you -- the elephant in the room, and you ask first.

“Can’t sleep?” you ask timidly as red-rimmed blue eyes look at you before turning to look at the dark canopy he knows like the back of his hand, but sometimes it can feel disorentiening, like he’s a little kid afraid of the dark. He shakes his head and tries to stay nonchalant about the whole situation, he doesn’t need to burden you with his problems.

“Can’t sleep. Nightmares,” he explains with a shrug, as your brittle smile takes him by surprise. Your next words do even more so.  

“Ah, insomnia,” you tell him you own problems with a light laugh that cracks in the end. You put a dollar and some change into the machine only to pick up a small candy bar afterwards, but it isn’t enough as your stomach growls even harder after you finish said morsole, the lack of food and general sickness you have been avoiding is finally catching up with you, as you look away from Bucky in embarrassment for a moment -- only for his stomach to return your stomach’s call.  

“Do you wanna get something to eat?” you laugh, loud and sweetly, as Bucky feels his face get hotter for a moment. He is ready to deny your invitation --he doesn’t want you to be wasting your time or money on him more than you have to-- until you add with a smile, “I’ve got a company card.”  

“Well, I can’t say no to that,” Bucky lets out with a chuckle, as he watches your face light up like a Christmas light, though he doesn’t exactly understand why. You tell him to wait and run down the hall to where your room is, as Bucky shakes his head unsure of what he got himself into but appreciating whatever had brought you to him for the night.

You run back outside with your keys and wallet, as you motion for Bucky to follow you to the white rental car that was parked not that far away from your room’s location. He can’t help but shake his head at your sudden enthusiasm, but he can’t feel like it’s warming up his bones and chasing all the voices in his head for a moment. As he gets into the car and you head down a little ways to find a diner that caught your interest earlier in the week, you are both happy to not be spending another night alone.

 Once you enter the 24-hour diner,  the two of you realized that you were both hungrier than you had originally thought, since you end up ordering a big breakfast with hash browns, Bucky does the same but with an additional side of pancakes. Though it was silent as you stuffed your faces, you started to talk about anything that comes to mind as he tells you about Steve and Sam, while you talk about work and Wanda. Once you have talked about all of them, you get down to the real business at hand -- stars.

“I graduated not that long ago and I wanted to celebrate,” Bucky explains bashfully on how he got the idea for his star journey after finally getting his Bachelor’s degree, but instead of being met with disbelief or apprehension, all he can see is pure amazement on your face, “Wanted to see what I fought so hard for.”

“That’s amazing, Bucky,” your smile dazzles him completely, as you stop to tell the waitress that you need two chocolate cakes with scoop of vanilla ice cream, much to his embarrassment.   

“What about you? What made you go to New Mexico?” he questions as he leans a bit more, his blue eyes meeting yours and waiting for an answer because since the very beginning --with you coming into Inwood Park wearing a business suit but with all the curiosity in the world in your bright eyes-- he wondered why you were so into stars.

“I think I’m trying to look for something,” you start explaining softly while having Bucky’s undivided attention, “My grandma died a while back and left me a lot of her art, all of which was stars. It wasn’t until recently I finally got to take a good look at them, I didn’t know a single constellation nor its meaning. I just feel like I need to know now, like I owe it too her, ya know?”

You give him a watery smile before wiping a stray tear from you eye, as he grasps your hand for moment, “I’m sure she would be proud of you, doll. Taking the first step is never easy.”

You give him a nod, unsure of whether your voice is going to crack or not if you try thanking him. However, the mood quickly passes as the waitress comes back with your desserts. You hum in appreciation at the sight of the chocolate cake before taking your spoon in celebration.

“To you, Bucky, for graduating and taking this journey!” you declare before taking a bite, as Bucky just shakes his head in embarrassment.  

“To you and your grandma,” he says, though not as loud as you. And you stay there for awhile, simply enjoying each other’s company.

 The drive back to the hotel is quieter as the lack of sleep and heavy food begins to hit both of you, and you’re thankful that the diner wasn’t that far since your eyelids are dropping as you park in the hotel once more. You stay there, in a hazy sort of happiness and ready to go to sleep only to feel someone opening the driver side door and picking you up. You turn your head only slightly to see Bucky with the same haze taking over his eyes, though there is a satisfied smile on his face.

“Time for bed, Sleeping Beauty,” he states and you briefly wonder if this was how Bucky usually acted with all the ladies or if it was the sleep deprivation talking, but you don’t say anything as he carries to your room and opens the door. He sets you down as softly as he can. A soft touch to your forehead before he gets up to leave, though he is apprehensive to be left alone in his room once more, especially after spending all this time with you. However, a light touch to his right hand causes him to look down once more.

“Stay,” you whimper out, as blue eyes widen for a moment at the thought that you don’t want to be alone either. He wants to say no, scared of what might happen if he falls asleep, of how he could hurt, but your hold on his hand tightens and you drag him down a bit, “ Please. ”   

The sound of your voice and the shimmer of your sleepy eyes break Bucky very easily, as he lays down as you move to the other side a bit more. Due to you holding his hand, he is facing you in the center of the bed, as he tries his hardest to keep his left arm from you, just to protect you a bit -- as best as he can. You give him one last smile while holding his hand, but leaving a gap between the two of you.

“Goodnight Bucky,” you sigh before closing your eyes and letting slumber drag you away for the first time in a week, blue eyes watch as your breathing begins to slow down and light snoring escapes your parted lips. Bucky yawns and the soft warmth next to him slowly begins to drag him to sleep as well, though he does try to fight it here and there.

“Goodnight,” he whispers out your name before setting down into a dreamless sleep.

You end up missing those morning workshops for the seminar, though you can’t help but agree that it is the best sleep you had gotten in some time, though it is a little embarrassing to have woken up to tangled limbs and a soft caress of your name on his lips -- but, you would never tell him that.

 The few remaining days you have in Arizona are spent with Bucky as much as you can. In the mornings, you go to all the workshops and network the best you can, but the afternoon and evening are spent eating, exchanging stories, or simply driving aways out to the desert and talking (and by extension taking pictures or writing down things) about all the stars he knows and you want to learn of. Though for tonight, you were simply lying down on your bed together, trading stories after ordering some hotel food.    

“I don’t know, I like Andromeda better,” you laugh from your side of the bed while staring at the star map that he usually carried around, as Bucky shakes his head, “Okay, so who do you like?”

“Cassiopeia,” he remarks as you get up a little and give him a look of disbelief  since you knew her story well enough, but before you can ask he already bets you to the explaining his reasoning, “She was beautiful and knew what she wanted, I like that in a gal.”

You laugh before pushing your elbow into his rib cage just slightly,”You’re ridiculous, Bucky.”

He laughs along with you, never saying anything of how her story reminds him more of you than Andromeda ever could.

 However, just like in New Mexico, good things have to come to end as you wrap up everything and get ready to head back to Pulliam Airport to head back home. Bucky is standing in front of your rental car a sad smile on his face, but looking better than he was a few nights back, and his own backpack placed near him as he continued his journey towards the Grand Canyon. You’re standing a bit closer than the last time you left each other, as his right hand sweeps over your knuckles for a moment. You give him a small smile, encouraging him to tell you what is on your mind before you have to go.   

“Could I have your phone number?” he asks shyly, as your smile grows at his request, “I mean if it isn’t too much to ask.”

“Of course, you can,” you state before he takes out his phone, which you had seen here and there throughout the days you spent together, and punch in your number as a new contact, “So, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Okay,” is all he manages to say.

You take a step forward and though you hadn’t talked about the nightmares or insecurity that haunted the both of you. You knew that you needed to tell Bucky one more thing before you left tim, “Bucky, you’re more than enough. Got it?”

“I know,” he breathes out, understanding what you are trying to tell him. His hand tightens around yours just a bit as you smile and he swears than he can see the stars shining in your eyes, even though it is the middle of the afternoon, and he knows he has to say it as well, “You are too, doll.”

“Okay,” you smile, taking a step back and heading towards the front of the car, though you’re already missing him, “But don’t forget to send me some star pics on your adventures, or just call me!”

“I will!” He smiles and watches you enter the rented car and drive off, his heart lighter than before since he had entered the desert, but also aching at the loss of you, wondering if he was going to see you again but knows he had you a bit closer than before as he stares at the number on his phone  -- a new, cozier picture of you, of when the two of you had been lying about and your hair was a mess, but there was a huge smile on your face. He couldn't get rid of the smile on his face for a couple of days, as he keeps moving forward.

Hey, doll...was thinking of you when I took this.

It’s a picture of the dark sky over a mountainous backdrop, but if you looked hard enough you could see the vague outline of Cassiopeia, and maybe that’s what was he was starting to feel for you.  

Part 4

[dailyaudiobible]

01/15/2019 DAB Transcript

Genesis 31:17-32:12, Matthew 10:24-11:6, Psalms 13:1-6, Proverbs 3:16-18

Today is the 15th day of January. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and, of course, every day is a joy and a pleasure to be here with you and in your presence and in the presence of our brothers and sisters all over the world. And we lovingly call this activity the global campfire. And I don't really know where that started, honestly, it just kind of stuck a few years ago, I guess I was just sitting here right in front of the mic just picturing us all coming in out of the cold, you know, because we begin the year, at least here in the northern hemisphere in the wintertime. So, we’re just coming out of the cold. And, you know, it can be like dark and cold out there and to be able to come in and warm yourself with friends and know that you not alone, know that this journey isn't a solitary endeavor, that we're in this together. I just…I guess…it just kind of caught on from there. So, just through another log on the global campfire, and off we go. And man, here we are halfway. This is like the halfway point of the first month of the year and it happens just like that because it was just Christmas, right? Like it just was Christmas but this is…time just kind of moves and before we know it we’ll be in another season and the year will move by and we’ll realize just how much God's word is speaking into our lives and just how profoundly it is affecting the way we make our decisions and that happens day by day, step-by-step around this global campfire. So, let’s dive in. We’re reading from the New Living Translation this week. Today, Genesis chapter 31 verse 17 through 32 verse 12, and reminding you we’re following the story of Jacob and his wives and their children, and they want to leave and head back to Jacob's homeland. And, so, there's some drama brewing. Genesis chapter 31.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the Old Testament in the book of Genesis we’re following the story of Jacob who…well…we don't have to review every little detail of the story because we just read it in the last couple of days, but he's on his way back to his homeland and we need to remember that he had to flee from his homeland, right, because he's the one that stole his brothers birthright and then he and his mother kind of colluded to get this family blessing. So, when Esau, the older brother, finds out what has happened Jacob has to run for his life and Esau decides, like, after I'm done mourning my father I’m going to kill my brother, right? So, like, they have to separate each other, separate from each other. And, so, it's been a couple of decades now. So, that's, you know, some time for this to all cool off, but Jacob doesn't know, I mean the last thing he knew was that his brother wanted to kill him, but he doesn't really have a great scenario where he's at with his father-in-law Laban because Laban, I mean, Jacob and Laban, they both have been like tricking each other and we can't forget that Jacob's a bit of a trickster himself. I mean he did get the birthright from Esau, he did get the family blessing under trickery and he did have to run away for it. So, Laban’s given him a taste of his own medicine but there's no future there and God is calling him to go back to his Father. So, what we saw in today's reading was this man and his wives and his family and their whole entourage leaving secretly to try to do just that. And in a very, very short time we have Jacob and his family in the middle of a pretty nasty situation that could turn really volatile really fast and destroy them all because behind him he's got his father-in-law Laban and their family and surely, they're going to figure out that he's gone. So, they're going to come in pursuit, but out in front of him he's got his brother Esau also wanting to do him harm. So, he's kind of like in between two bad situations. And you may find yourself in a similar position in life. And we see Jacob responding in a very, very human way, in a way that we would understand. I mean Laban does arrive and there is a pretty big confrontation and then Jacob is able to kind of unload some of the things that he's been carrying around. And in the end, a monument is set up, a covenant is entered into, and they have agreed that they will not pass that boundary line with the intent of hurting each other. So, Jacob's able to navigate and find favor in that situation that was behind him, the one haunting image from his past as it were, but he’s still got his future out in front of him, which is a big circle from the very distant past, his brother. And, so, he sends word just the sort of test the temperature and the next thing he knows his brothers riding toward him with 400 mercenaries and that's kind of where were left today. So like, let's get it really clear that in biblical times these people didn’t just float around, you know, a foot off the ground with halos and, you know, like they actually had to face some pretty difficult things, and as we do. So, we can look into these stories and say, okay, yeah, I mean proverbially I got the same thing going on, I’ve got something going on behind me, I’ve got something going on before me, I feel like I’ve been caught in the middle, I’ve got to navigate this. Probably not to the extreme of Jacob. And we get to watch Jacob navigate and learn from it.

Then we get into the book of Matthew and Jesus is saying some pretty provocative stuff. Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth. I came not to bring peace but a sword. I've come to set man against his father, daughter against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, your enemies will be right in your household. Okay. So, what happened to the loving baby Jesus in the manger and peace on earth and goodwill towards men? Like, Christmas hasn’t hardly worn off. What is this? What we have to begin to realize about Jesus message and Jesus way is that He is fundamentally reminding human beings what they were created to be and He is living a life as a full human being, certainly, the son of God as we believe, fully divine but also fully human as the Scriptures teach us. And, so, we’re looking at Jesus and we’re seeing a person like people are supposed to be, like what they were created to be without the black weight of sin involved. And light comes into the darkness, certainly the darkness flees, right, but the shadows are cast and it's like a cosmic battle because mankind had been spending its time trying to organize itself in such a way that it could be its own God, which is what we saw as we started this story back in the book of Genesis chapter 3 with the fall of man and betrayed. Like, eating that fruit gave mankind the knowledge of good and evil, but what mankind lost in the trade was an intimate fellowship with God. And, so, mankind became very evil but tried to use the knowledge of good and evil to become its own God. Well when God shows up in the middle of that story then we’re talking about the clash of kingdoms and people are notoriously famous for not wanting to give up their freedom of choice and will. And yet that is exactly what…that is exactly what Jesus message is. And maybe kind of taking this journey this year, first time through the Bible just kind of wanting understand what it is actually saying so you can determine whether you’re going to follow this path or not, this is fundamentally the Jesus way, is that there is a better way of being a human being, one that is restored to the way that human beings were supposed to live. And we get to watch that in the person of Jesus, but we also notice that those with power and influence only feel exposed by Jesus. Like, they can't cozy up to Jesus and get him to collude with them because He won't, because He's pure, because He's true and He can't be bought. We’re watching a person live in this world true and everywhere He goes it disrupts what is false even to the point of dividing family. So, the Scriptures tell us there’s a narrow path that leads to life and only a few find it and those who do disrupt things. And all you have to do is just think about it, think about, well okay, what if I were absolutely truth? Like, what if there were no falseness in me? When we start thinking about that we realize that all of the ways that we relate to each other has a falseness to it. We are presenting an image so that we can all find a way to get along, but we have an inner monologue of things that are really going on that we wouldn't let out. Some of that’s because we wouldn’t let out the embarrassing dark thoughts that we have, but what if we didn't have any darkness either, right? So, what if we weren’t hiding anything because there wasn't anything to hide and everything that we did, everything about us was true, everyone knew exactly who we really are and that was good, that was true and good. Well then, we would be Christ like, right, then we would be like Christ. Then we think, well, that kind of person could really lead people into the truth, that kind of person…that kind of a leader would really, really pull us forward, but that's not how it worked out for Jesus, right? Those in power and authority killed Him. The darkness does not want the light because you can't hide in the light. And, so, understand that as we take this journey and truly give ourselves over to allowing a relationship with God, an intertwining of spirits, a transformation from within us, so that we are experiencing actual life, not a fabricated version full of stuff that we have to maintain, but actual life, then that is not going to just disrupt us, that is going to disrupt everything around us

Prayer:

Father, we pray for wisdom as we continue to take these steps forward. Its intriguing to understand that the life that we want, the truth that we want, the way that we want to walk into life with You, our hearts cry for this, but as the layers begin to get peeled back we begin to understand, following this way on the narrow path that leads to life will be costly and will cost us everything that we think we are because everything that we have been is changing and everything that we are in You. So, we invite Your Holy Spirit to come. We’re here at the beginning of the year and Your testing our motivations, You're revealing our hearts to ourselves, You are allowing us to see things as they really are and we are swept into this, we have pulled forward. So, Holy Spirit show us how to navigate. With Your wisdom we pray. In Jesus name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, this is Sherry Running to God. I just listened to the January 9th reading and I believe it just has stirred my heart, my soul. I think I’m starting to question if I really know God. Brian said, there’s a difference between knowing someone and actually knowing them. And I wonder now if I really know God in a relationship. So, now because I’ve listened more to and taken more time to sit and listen to the Daily Audio Bible, questions are starting to arise. Please pray for me that my faith grows strong and that I don’t have to question anymore because I am in a relationship with God and I do know him. Thanks.

Hey family, this is Linda from New Hampshire. Stuff is really hittin’ the fan air right now as I call in. My son and daughter-in-law are really, really, really fighting. I live with them. My daughter-in-law has had lot to drink. There was a previous betrayal on my son’s part and she’s just having a really bad time right now. And, I mean, I’m actually concerned for the safety of my grandson’s Owen and Oliver. And I just need to know that there’s somebody out there praying, and I know God doesn’t look at time, isn’t restricted by time. I’ve got to go to work tomorrow and is 11:24 and the fighting’s been going on for about 25 minutes. I don’t even know what to say right now. It’s beyond sad, it’s beyond tragic, and I don’t know what to do. She’s really, really, really hurt just from her family origin issues and the betrayal and oh my God, please just, please keep them in your prayer. I know you all do. I keep thinking I’m gonna call in and fill you guys all in on where I’m at in life and I keep wanting to say it’s better and stuff like this happens. I love you all. Thank you.

Hey, good morning Daily Audio Bible family, this is Debbie in Des Moines, heading to work for my last few days before I start my new journey. But I actually called for a couple of things. Number one, as I call you’re gonna find that I’m not eloquent, I’m not one of those people who speak well, I stumble over my words, I sound like a dork, you know. But you know what, God loves me anyway and so does the family. So, I want to encourage those who don’t call because…because you’re like me [laughing]. Call in any way, we love you. Call in, call in, call in. But the second thing is I wanted to let you…ask for prayer for my grandson. Those who know me know that I’ve been raising him since he was an infant. He is now nine years old. He is court ordered. He has to go do overnights at his dad’s every other weekend and his dad’s household is not just atheist, their anti-God. I mean, they are anti-God. It’s not like they ignore God or anything, they’re verbally anti-God and my grandson is God hearted, prays for people and he has been having nightmares because his dad plays really bad movies, like scary movies and it gives him nightmares and there’s nothing I can do really about it, but I ask for your prayers for my grandson Trent. I love him so much and I want his little mind to be at peace and I just thank God that he is a little warrior and we pray for things together, but I covet your prayers for his peace of mind. I love you family. Bye.

Hi, yeah, it’s Michael calling from London, UK. Today is Friday, the 11th of January 2019. Yeah, I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for about a couple years now. Yeah, and I’m really enjoying listening to it, like, I think it’s an amazing blessing that Brian and Jill have brought for us. The fact that you’ve been doing it 14 years, you know, that’s even more incredible. Yes, I‘d like to say hi to everyone at Daily Audio Bible and all the listeners that I believe I’m now a part of. Yeah, and, yeah so basically a little bit about me, I’m an actor but I’m also a qualified occupational therapist. I work with those with, you know, mental health issues but I am also part of…part of an amazing church, Hillsong London. So, yeah, hopefully I can maybe pray for you guys and it’d be great if you could pray for me, you know, anxiety issues, yeah and anything around, yeah, trying to juggle kind of acting and OT because I’ve got pressure from my agent as well as hopefully, you know, trying to be the best that I can be in that as well. Apologies about any background noise. I am driving at the moment, driving to work. Yeah, so, hopefully I hear from you guys soon and, yeah, I’ll try to make this a bit more of a regular occurrence, you know, we’re I’m just kind of praying when…as when I need because, you know, there’s some really great guys and girls on here. You know, I love the encouraging words that different people say over each other. It’s amazing you can have this online community of people that probably haven’t necessarily met each other person but at least online, you know, you can, as Brian says drop off a load on the things that we’re all going through. Okay, all right. Thank you for now. And I’ll speak to you later. Bye.

[speedsterimagines]

LADYKILLR (PART 2)

A/N: I got really into this part, I don’t know why. Also the thought of Sonny having a tattoo? Ugh. Part three will be out sometime soon, not sure exactly when but I’ll update regularly.

Summary: Dating a detective certainly has it pros and cons, but when a disheveled criminal is looking to settle a score, he goes after what Detective Carisi loves the most… you.

Word Count: 1494

Warnings: Serial Killer, Murder Victims, Stab Wound, Blood, Violence

<< Part 1 >><<Part 3>><<Part 4>><<Continuous Version>>

Sonny had been sitting at his desk for what seemed like the past 72 hours which wasn’t too far from the actual time elapsed. His normally organized work space was scattered with evidence and photos along with old chinese take out and an ice cold cup of coffee. SVU had been knee deep in a serial killer case for almost a month now, but from the beginning it seemed as though they were fighting a losing battle.

Someone was loose in the streets of Manhattan brutally attacking and murdering women at random. None of the victims could be linked to each other in any way, not their jobs, neighborhoods, or friends. The only thing the women had in common was the way they were killed. Each victim was found in her own home, no sign of forced entry, as if they knew the killer or they were welcomed in with a single stab wound to abdomen.

A couple of weeks ago, they came across a lead that seemed promising. An elderly woman claimed that she saw a delivery man at her neighbor’s door the night of her murder. Even though she claimed he had a neck tattoo, her eye sight wasn’t what it used to be and there was no way of knowing what the tattoo was. There were thousands of delivery men with neck tattoos walking the streets of Manhattan, b t there were only a handful that had previous charges, including one man who was on parole. 

Hector Beckett, 37 years old, was out on parole after being charged with battery and attempted rape and had been working as a delivery man for the last few months. And as the sole eye witness describes, on the left side of his neck in old-fashioned tattoo font was the word, LADYKILLR. When Sonny came across his name and put all the pieces together, he got the approval from Olivia and made the arrest. During his interrogation he informed Hector that there was a witness that put him at the scene and his violent criminal past wasn’t going to help the situation. 

“You know, when I turned eighteen I told my ma I was gonna get a tattoo,”  Sonny smirked from across the metal table. “You would’ve thought I said I was gonna have a limb cut off by the way she reacted. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t get it, those things are forever y’know? I wanted the name of my favorite scripture, Proverbs 16:9, in his mind a man plans his course,” Sonny paused for a moment putting emphasis into his words. “But the Lord directs his steps.” 

Hector sat straight faced, not interested in the slightest by the detective’s small talk.

“Still would be a pretty good tattoo, come to think of it. But yours? Wow, LADYKILLR? It’s moving, truly touching. How did you choose that one?” 

“What can I say? The ladies love me,” he sat back in his chair making himself comfortable. 

“I’m sure you love them too,” Sonny spoke sarcastically as he opened up the folder on the table. “I bet you really loved them when you made your way into their homes and stabbed them to death.” 

“You got an old lady, detective?” He laughed watching Sonny’s muscles tense at the thought of such an malicious person even thinking about the woman he loved. “Who am I kidding, you’re not really my type, but I know a handsome man when I see one. Maybe I’ll give her a visit when I get out of here.” 

“Too bad you’re going to be here for a while,” Sonny stood up exiting the room before he lost control of his temper. 

Olivia knew Hector wasn’t going to admit to anything and when he requested a lawyer, they were informed there simply wasn’t enough solid evidence to keep him, and within half and hour Hector Beckett walked out a free man. 

Which put Sonny in his current situation now, sitting at his desk, looking over every last detail hoping something would stick out like a beacon that had previously gone unnoticed, hoping to find to anything that would incriminate Beckett. He was tired, he’d had a headache for the last three days, and truth be told, he just needed a break. And as if it was a sign from God, he’d received a text from his girlfriend saying she was stopping by the precinct for a visit. Sonny stared at the clock on the wall watching the hands move so slowly, for a moment he was convinced the battery must have been dead. Knowing that a watched pot never boils, he made his way to the break room and replaced his ice cold coffee with a fresh cup.

“What’s got you smilin’ Carisi?” Fin teased as he held out his mug for a refill. 

“My girl’s stopping by,” Sonny grinned, proud to show you off. “And she’s bringing cookies.”

“Oh word, those one’s from the Christmas party?” 

“Those would be the ones.” 

“It’s about time we got some good news around here,” Fin’s eyes lit up like a child in a candy store.

Sonny put the coffee pot back and returned to his desk, starting the paperwork he’d been avoiding, hoping that busy work would make the time go by faster and it did. By time he’d put his signature on the last sheet, he checked his phone for the time, noticing that you were almost twenty five minutes late. He unlocked his phone and clicked your name to call you but it went to voicemail. He wasn’t sure if it was his own impatience or genuine worry, but he began typing out a message and stared at his phone waiting for a reply. 

Are you on your way? Fin’s asked about the cookies twice already.

A few minutes passed, still no reply. Sonny was never the one to double text, he didn’t want to feel like he was bothering someone, but it had now been almost 40 minutes since your intended arrival.

You’re starting to make me nervous, do I need to come over?

When his phone finally vibrated, he practically knocked over his coffee cup reaching to grab it. His brows furrowed as he read the words displayed on his screen.

Sorry I’m L8, got 2 reschedule

He read your words a few more times and couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. If his instinct was wrong, he was worrying about nothing. But it only took seconds to make up his mind and he wasn’t willing to risk your safety in any circumstance. He hurried towards Olivia’s office making sure to knock a couple times before letting himself in. His red scarf was already draped around his neck and he held his tan coat in his hands. Sonny prided himself in knowing you completely, so when he had a gut feeling that something was wrong he wasn’t willing to waste any time. 

“Hey, Lieu, I need an hour.” 

“Right now? We’re in the middle of an investigation, Carisi.” She looked up at him through the black reading glasses that were rested on the end of her nose.  He was never the kind of person to leave work for a non-emergent reason which caught Olivia’s attention.

“I know, but it’s about- it’s a personal thing.” Sonny was flustered and it showed as he ran his fingers through his perfectly styled hair, not worried in the slightest if he messed it up. 

“Anything I can help with?” 

“I’m not sure, (Y/N) was supposed to stop by today, but she was running late so I texted her to see where she was.” 

“Well, Carisi, that’s not exactly out of the ordinary,” she crossed her arms across her chest. 

“I know, but this is.” He handed her his phone allowing her to read his text messages.

“She’s never used an abbreviation in her text messages in the entire time I’ve known her. I also tried calling her and it’s going straight to voicemail.” 

If it was one thing Olivia prided herself in, it was trusting her detectives completely. So she handed back the phone and nodded, Sonny’s signal that he was free to go. “Call if you need anything,” she said before he all but ran towards the exit. 

“Hey babe, it’s me again. You’re making me nervous please pick up the phone.” 

He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket and made his way through the door, choosing to walk rather than drive. If somehow you were still on your way to the precinct, this is the route you would’ve chose and eventually he’d cross your path. With no luck, he’d made it to your building not seeing you once. The walk hallway towards your apartment felt longer than usual and instinctively he held a hand on his gun. He counted the golden numbers on the doors until he reached yours, noticing the door of 3G was slightly ajar. 

He removed his gun from the holster, using it to open your door and scanned your apartment. Flowers and milk scattered were across the floor, signalling that his suspicions were right, and he held his gun at attention. Alone in the middle of the apartment, you were duct taped to a kitchen chair. The sweat had caused your hair to stick to your face along with your grey t-shirt. Standing out, was a large crimson stain on your abdomen, which trailed downwards and formed a small puddle by your foot. You looked up when you heard the footsteps walking through the door, finding Sonny with his gun pointed towards you.

You furiously shook your head, trying to signal to him that it wasn’t safe for him to enter as the intruder in your apartment had positioned himself beside the door. Not heeding your warning, he took another step forward before Hector Beckett quietly walked behind him.

“SONNY, BEHIND YOU,” you screamed as you saw the man launch towards your boyfriend. “SONNY!”

<< Part 1 >><<Part 3>><<Part 4>> <<Continuous Version>>

Request // All Dominick ‘Sonny’ Carisi Jr. Content // Masterlist

Tag List - @miraxo-xo-supernatrual   @barisi-esq  @super-calithehamm  @nophunleague @bitch-queen-of-sass @just-call-me-bitch

[cafechenle]

❧ c.sc ⎯⎯ star born lovers

warnings: heart melting fluff + me being a sap for nat :( (also intended lowercase!!) note: so this is literally me just ... being a sap for nat :(( i love her @jejublr !!! like she told me i was her idol n i was liek um ... ms hani ?? ms HANI ?? THT BITCH FUCKNG DEAD ? pls nat i love u so much i would literally steal all of the damn stars for u omg :(( pls i love her shes so cute go give her some love its her birthday !!!!!! also pls nat have my biggest uwu :(( n im sorry if this is shit :( i wrote it at 3 in the morning lmao because gotta get tht bday content out!

hushed giggles fill the empty park as two people, two teenagers run into the park, the stars twinkling above, illuminating their cheeky smiles and the hands they had interlocked as they ran, towards the hill.

their hill.

the one where what seemed like a million evenings ago, they had promised each other a night every week where they would just be with each other. no matter how old they got, they would always lie on that hill, in their hometown, and just watch the stars.

the stars were the love of seungcheol’s life.

you had known that since you were ten, from the first evening your parents had brought you to the park, when he had been there, already setting up his little telescope to watch the stars. you had then also come to know that his dad was among the stars, and that the little boy watched them in hopes to see his father’s familiar smile twinkle from amongst it.

you remember the sudden thought of endearment which had led you to sit next to him, even if the stars then were nothing to you, and watch them until your parents had dragged you away. even then with a promise to come back and watch the twinkling lights in the sky with him once again another day.

that one day had turned into several days of talking about stars you had seen, of spotting constellations in the sky and reading books just so you could quiz the other and smirk if they got something wrong, and suddenly everytime you looked up to the stars, much like how seungcheol saw his father’s smile, you saw his. bright and twinkling, taking the light of all the brightest stars.

as teenagers, your schedule had never changed, with one night becoming your meetup, mindless instinct by now that nothing else would happen on the sunday night other than the picnic under the stars, with the soft tunes he hummed and the sounds of opening multiple chip packets filling the air, along with the occasional exclamation when you found a constellation.

as the teen years vanished, and both of you left to college with him staying in your old town while you moved away from him and into the city, broken hearts being left with both of you with the sudden physical gap in your relationship which was hugs when you were sad and hugs when you were happy.

but even the distance could never stop you from spending your sunday night with him, him sitting on your hill back home and you sitting on the small cramped balcony of your apartment, both watching the one thing which connected you both, and you pouting that the city never showed as many stars as in the country which he would laugh at even though you wanted to tell him then and there that that was because all the stars he had stolen from the city sky were in his twinkling happy eyes.

because even through the fuzzy screen, nothing could steal away at his beauty. at his ethereal smile and at the soft edges of his plump lips. at his pretty moonlight-illuminated skin and at his star flecked eyes, understanding and forever warm.

you loved him so much.

you were the love of seungcheol’s life.

there was a rush when he saw you, just a huge bubble of love and adoration popping inside him when he saw you, and saw your familiar smile, the one he had grown to love ever since he was a kid, with too much sadness and a fascination for stars he believed held his dearest father.

when you smiled at him, or held his hands, or just … were with him, his troubles flew out of the window and somewhere far away, with a euphoria so beautiful and calming that at times he wished that you would never let go of him.

you were a drug he could never get enough of. didn’t want to ever get enough of because no matter what, the second he was hurt or upset in anyway or absolutely happy, his first thought would always be to run to you.

when you left, it broke him.

he could no longer run to you anytime he wanted, he could no longer cuddle you on the hill and talk shit about the boys from the other classes.

the days of innocence and childhood which he had grasped ever so dearly had disappeared, but still every sunday, the stars brought you together and he loved them so much more for that.

he loved the stars for bringing him comfort, and bringing him love in the person who held every galaxy within, and who he loved beyond anything.

when you came back on breaks, the feeling was equal to that of flying, heads in the clouds as you both laughed and laughed and laughed, spending the whole day and night together, closer and cuddlier than everything.

he remembered the second year you were at college, and how when on christmas you had come back, just to spend your new years with him, and an hour before the new year began, he had taken you to the hill.

taken you there and had asked you, among the falling snow and the sounds of the time ticking down to new year at the centre of your little town, if you would have been his girlfriend and that if he was finally allowed to hold you, and tell you everything was okay before kissing your worries away.

you had shrieked a yes, and he remembered falling on his ass on the slippery snow because he had begun to laugh with you giggling, face red and embarrassed. he remembered you helping him up, both of you giggling before the final countdown began and he cupped your face, your eyes never losing their shine as your smile softened and you both leaned in, lips melding into one as the new year brought you closer.

seungcheol would never forget the smile on your face when you both walked home at 3am that evening, hands interlocked and he left you on your patio, with a kiss on your forehead as goodnight because he didn’t think he would survive if you kissed him again.

it had been five years since you had graduated college, seven years since seungcheol moved to the city and in with you, and eight years since you first began your relationship.

you had been there for him and he had been there for you throughout everything. through the stress of the last year of college, and through graduation, through every birthday you had ever had since you were ten, and for this one, for which he had booked you tickets back home.

the ride home had been a pleasant one, with both of you saying hello to old acquaintances and friends  from your car or belting your 00 songs playlists shamelessly, with you taking turns for britney.

but when he didn’t stop in front of your house, but rather drove ahead, you understood that he had something to do because he looked so serious, with his usually warm eyes clammy from nervousness and a sheen of fear in his usual calm eyes which unnerved you.

he stopped at the park, leading you to the hill of your dreams and of your memories, a smile resting on his face at last, as he stood you exactly where you had been when he had first met you, bickering about stars and how you knew more constellations than him.

the memories hit him, the many days he had spent with you here, each ingrained into a special place of his heart he had set for you. all the nights and afternoons and mornings of your lives you had spent together, all the kisses and affection, all of it led here, and he couldn’t think of anything better than this.

than to promise himself to you for ever.

right under the stars which had kept you forever together.

as he did when he bent down on his knee, the moon shining above, and whipped out a ring box from the pockets of his overcoat and then broke into a speech he may have learned but had forgotten when he saw the shock on your face and the gradual tears which formed in those gateways to galaxies long forgotten.

“y/n, you have been my friend for many a year, have been my beloved for many a year too. but today, i want to promise you something. something which i had promised you when we were little too, but today i want to make it official, i want you to have something more than a pinky promise to remember me and to remember my love for you. you make my days brighter and i swear to god, you are the most enchanting person i have ever met and i love you more than anything, even the stars because goddamn, you are stars incarnate, and night triumphant and i love you more than anyone or anything can fathom. so please, marry me?”

the quietest of ‘yes’es escape your lips before you scream it out, scream that you love him loud enough that you hope the stars can hear and smile down at you both as he slips the ring onto your finger and twirls you around, before both of you sink into a warm embrace.

and for a moment, you believe that the stars themselves had lessened their light for a moment as to let the one within you both shine brighter.

for you were not star crossed lovers, but star born lovers.

[perlocutionary]

Christmas Miracle, pt. 3 - Dylan O’Brien

Description: Christmas has passed, as have several moments between Y/N and Dylan. But what about the NYE’s kiss?

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Title: Happy New Year! Word count: 2546

Part 1 - Part 2

A/N: Last part! Nothing. I thought it was very fluffy. So, I guess I warn you for fluff? If that even needs a proper warning. @mf-despair-queen @minhosmeanhoe

The ruckus emerging from Posey’s house had me contemplating why I ever agreed to celebrating New Year’s Eve here. I thought Dylan meant a secluded, only his friends, type of party. I hadn’t even given it a thought that he could’ve meant something like this.

The door abruptly opens, and I’m met with Tyler’s happy-go-lucky grin, his eyes already a bit glazed over as they widen, his arms flailing in the air before they’re thrown around my neck and I’m hauled against his chest. “Hi Ty. ‘s been a long time. ” I grin, pushing past the tan male into his home. I hear the door click shut behind me and Tyler’s heavy footsteps resonating behind me.

“Am I late or something?” I question, handing Tyler the bag of alcohol and snacks I brought, my eyes scanning over the immense crowd in Tyler’s living room. I refrain myself from again checking the text Dylan sent me, which – if I remember correctly – indicated me being here at nine.

“No, of course not. I did say 9 PM.” Tyler nods his head as he appears back beside me, an uncapped beer bottle held out to me which I gracefully grasp. “I didn’t expect there to be so much people…” I couldn’t help but feel slightly anxious. I knew most of the faces here – but that was because I had seen them pass on my television or in a gossip magazine that my coworker always dragged around with her. I was way out of my element.

“If it makes you feel any better, neither did I. I told some people they could bring others along and it kinda – uh – escalated?” The nervous laughter that leaves his lips drags a chuckle from mine as well, my body involuntarily moving closer to Tyler when drunken laughter resonates from the girl beside me, her lips already locked with an unknown male. “Isn’t that the understatement of the year.”

Tyler’s laughter again is boisterous, his head thrown back as his hand presses against his taut stomach. “Hey, had to be quick, right? Where’s your duffel?” “My duffel?”

I follow Tyler around the kitchen counter and to the door opening leading to the living room, where he halts again to continue our conversation. “Yeah. Didn’t Dylan say you could spend the night as well?” Tyler groans loudly when he sees the confused frown that seems to have found a permanent home on my face, his hand running along his face before he takes a sip of his own drink. “As well?”

I’m searching the crowd for any familiar face, hoping I’d see Dylan laughing along with any of his friends so I’d not have to wander this humongous party by myself. I absentmindedly take sips from my beer, already having cleared half the bottle, before I turn my head back to Tyler.

“Dylan used to live here anyway, still has his own room. Would be ridiculous to send the drunk-ass home.” A chuckle passes my lips and I nod my head in acknowledgement, pursing my lips before speaking. “He didn’t mention anything about it to me at least.” Maybe he didn’t want me here. Maybe he had more exciting plans to spend the first night of the new year.

Tyler’s voice immediately pulls me out of my self-pity wallow though. “Ah, come on Y/N. You have to stay as well, all be hungover together tomorrow. Dyl wouldn’t mind if you crashed in his bed, you already slept together anyway.” My eyes snap to him, mouth slightly agape. “We what?!”

Tyler seems taken aback by my loud voice, but within a split second a smirk settles as he lowers his voice. “At his parents’ house? He said you shared a bed?” My mouth forms the shape of a perfect ‘o’. “Oh. Yeah, we did.” Tyler’s name gets called from across the room and he grins brightly as he waves at his friend, taking a few steps away from me before stopping in his tracks.

His hand softly runs along my arm before he winks. “Dylan’s in the game room, with DylSpray.” I’m thankful that Tyler had taken up on my anxiety level, my head involuntarily nodding as I make a beeline for the game room down the hall of Tyler’s large home.

“Dylan!” I high-pitched yell, the taller male snapping his head in the direction of my voice as a large smile overtakes his features. “Y/N! Babe! You’ve finally made it.” I walk into his outstretched arms, my body being lifted off the floor easily as I chuckle against Dylan’s hard chest. “I’ve missed you.” “You literally saw me two days ago, Dyl. How could you even miss me.” I grin as he places me back onto my feet, throwing his arm leisurely around my shoulders and hauling me against his chest.

“I’d rather have you with me all the time.” He jokes, scrunching his face up as his slender fingers dig into my upper arm. “Well, in that case…” I trail off, Dylan’s eyes twinkling underneath the low-dimmed light. His tongue darts out to lick along his bottom lip and I swallow harshly by watching him do so. “Are you finally moving in with me?”

A snort passes me almost immediately, my head shaking to accompany my already given answer. “No. I am not. Stop trying to make that happen. But Ty said I could crash with you here tonight – would save me a stumble-trip home at the crack of dawn.” I bat my eyelashes lovingly up at Dylan, my flat hands resting against his chest as his arm trails from my shoulder along my back to rest in the middle. He seems to be contemplating his answer, but couldn’t hide the smirk even if he actually tried.

“It would be my pleasure, now I’ve got to experience first-hand what a little stove you are. I’m sold.” Even though Dylan and I had not talked about the kiss yet, not even when we were alone, together in his bed that evening, spending some much time with him truly made me realize how strong my feelings for him had become. As I crawled into bed beside him, I had been shivering, teeth clattering and all he did was hold out his arm for me to crawl up to him and warm myself. Something he definitely regretted after I had warmed up and Dylan was forced to sweat underneath my vice grip for the rest of the night.

“Yeah uh – about that – “ Dylan hums, ushering me to continue, as I step out of his loose embrace “about a few days earlier…” The talk I had practiced in front of the mirror while getting ready the entire day was on the tip of my tongue. Sadly, and of-fucking-course-like, I am rudely interrupted.

“Oh – my – god. Dylan?!” The voice is so high that I immediately cower away from Dylan, wincing as I see the perky girl approach us with a massive swing in her hips. She stares at me, rather vile if I may add, before licking her lips and batting her eyelashes at an astonished looking Dylan. “I didn’t interrupt anything, Did I? Oh, it’s been so long.” Dylan’s gaze flicks to mine and I realize what he is trying to say. Can you believe this? And to be honest, yes I can.

Not only was Dylan a handsome, young, attractive man, he was also kind and endearing. Throughout his acting career he had made so many new friends I could never keep up with it. The fact that more than half of that new friend group contained beautiful young women shouldn’t have surprised me either. The way this girl talks to him, the way she touches him, makes it seem as if they have more of a history than Dylan lets me in on. Of course, I have no idea what he does when we aren’t hanging out, and she may very well be something a bit more of a closer encounter.

Apparently, I had missed half the conversation, but had heard the last words she sweetly muttered loud and clear. “You should come find me later, for the New Year’s Eve kiss…” They know each other very well, it seems. The girl disappears, but not before throwing an awfully staged wink in my direction, my blood intensively boiling, if I wanted to or not – I was jealous.

I had to get out of here before I made a fool out of myself by exclaiming my love for him, and I had to go fast. “Uh – I’ll – I’ll see you later.” I stutter, stepping back and shaking my head before turning on my heel and making a beeline out of the room. I can faintly hear Dylan yell after me. “Y/N, wait!”.

I was always very good at hiding, even when I was younger. If I didn’t want you to find me, you wouldn’t. And that’s exactly what I did. Although I knew Dylan’s old room would be the first place he checked, I still fast-paced there. From stories, I knew Dylan had a porch adjacent to his room, where a lounge sofa and a small coffee table sat. I slid myself onto the plush seating, covering my body with one of the present blankets and simply stared and the beautiful twinkling lights of the city.

I didn’t mind all the party goers, and I never would. I had hoped this night would be nothing of sorts either, and just having a chance to flee here and enjoy the rest of my night in peace, was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. Although it also meant racking my brain over Dylan, everything that has happened, and everything yet to come.

Hours passed, and I know we were nearing midnight. I had forced myself to make a deal and appear before the countdown began, but as the minutes progressed I just couldn’t seem to find it in me to do so. “There you are.”

Dylan’s head pokes through the ajar door and he sighs, probably in relief, before closing the door behind him and stepping out onto the desolated porch with me. “Here I am.” I briskly answer him.

���Have you been here the entire time?” I hum in response, scrolling through my Instagram feed of people posting their adventures on New Year’s Eve. Things that I always wished I would do, but not that I had the chance to – I’d decline every single time. My eyes never leave my phone as Dylan paces across the deck, before stopping at the railing and staring off into the distance.

“Would you come up here, it has an amazing view of the fireworks.” My head snaps up, staring at Dylan, whose hand is outstretched for me to take. “Please, come here.” His whiskey-colored gaze penetrates mine and I know I have no choice but to do as he asks of me, I could never deny him. I let my hand slip in his as he pulls me off the sofa and onto my feet, flush against him. “What about that girl?”

A breathless chuckle leaves his lips as he again, throws his arm around my shoulders and presses me close. “Y/N, baby…” I almost want to sigh in pure bliss at the use of his nickname for me, but instead busy myself by resting my head against his chest, heart hammering rapidly against the shell of my ear. Why is he nervous? “She’s a friend of Holland’s. I met her once, I don’t even know her name, Y/N.”

I take a deep breath, swallow straight after as I tighten my arms around Dylan’s waist. “Okay.” He seems to stiffen in my embrace, his hand trailing along my back as he presses me closer. “Okay?”

Another hum leaves me, my eyelids fluttering closed as I breathe in his heavy cologne. His sweater scrapes against my cheek, tickling at the edge of my lips as I speak. “I don’t know what came over me. I kinda have no right to be jealous, so whatever answer you gave me, I had to be okay with it.”

Dylan stays quiet for the longest time. I start to feel anxiety creep up the longer he stays silent, my own heartbeat rapidly beating in my chest, making my skin vibrate. When he does, it seems like all the air is sucked from my lungs. “Do you still not realize how into you I am at this point?”

As I open my mouth to reply, a loud voice echoes through the house, indicating that it was almost time. The countdown is starting! Get ready! Dylan shifts my body against his in such a way that we’re both facing the twinkling lights of the city, staring at the dark, not-yet-illuminated sky above it, waiting for the first squeaky sound that indicated the set-off of fireworks. I press my lips together, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands. Dylan liked me. And here I was, just staring at nothing, with him beside me, instead of kissing the life out of him. As soon as I am to speak, Dylan beats me to it, the countdown chiming throughout the rest of the house.

Ten… Nine… “Do people actually kiss as the New Year strikes?” Dylan mumbles, his fingertips dancing over my inner arm before he intertwines our fingers together. My cheeks inflame, a smile pressing its way along my lips as I glance up at Dylan.

Eight… Seven… “Back home, you kiss everyone thrice on the cheeks and wish them the best of luck. Not sure what you do.” I reciprocate his mumble, leaning against Dylan’s broad chest and tucking my hand underneath his thick sweater. A sigh leaves his lips, his gaze faltering from mine as he stares into the distance.

Six… Five… Four… “Thank god that I covered my ass then, right?” I hum in confusion as Dylan’s head snaps back to mine, a lazy, shy smile covering his pink lips. His head nods up and my eyes follow his movement, mistletoe adorning the porch door. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, fingertips digging into Dylan’s chest.

Three… Two… “No grandma?” Laughter flies from Dylan’s lips as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. “No grandma.” I press my lips together in a thin line, standing on the tips of my toes as my hand curls around his neck. He bends down, our faces hovering centimeters from each other.

One… Dylan closes the gap between us as the whistling sound of fireworks sounds in the distance, beautiful, colorful specks illuminating the sky. A sigh leaves my lips as Dylan disconnects, my eyelids fluttering open as I grin up at my best friend. “So, happy New Year. And the best wishes.” I smile, lifting my other arm and hooking them behind his neck.

“Happy New Year. My wish already came true.” Dylan grins as he ducks his head again, catching my lips with him just as a fit of giggles leaves my lips, fireworks continuing to illuminate the sky behind us. “Did you actually plan this?” I murmur against his lips, not hiding the humongous grin that takes over my lips. Dylan smiles into the kiss as he brings me closer. “I may have.”

Taglist: @ssweet-empowerment @fuckwhateverfuck @katster2015 @parislight

[jamesv-t]

Crowdsourcing my runs

Over the last few weeks, I've hit a bit of a creative slump with regards to my running. In the absence of parkrun and the social aspect therein, I've been doing the same routes and getting bored of it. I decided to shake things up a bit and ask my friends on social media to choose for me. A soft launch on Twitter using a carefully selected series of polls (to prevent people telling me to run a marathon in 20 minutes) kicked things off.

Manipulating polls to get the results I wanted

The week after, I tried Instagram, giving followers who cared enough to interact with my stories the choice of a fast and flat run, or hills (hills hills). Unsurprisingly they picked the hills, with a follow-up question seeing 2/3rds choose hill repeats over one big hill in a poorly worded question. Due to wanting a beer on a Saturday night, I elected to do these the morning after watching the film/war-crime Cats, but on the bright side after three 2km reps up a steep hill my hangover was gone! With a nice 2k to get there warming me up (and down afterwards), and the hill being a kilometre high, it was a great route to discover for the future.

So, with a bit of success from these, I opened things up to user submissions. Knowing that they'd probably send me on a route that includes Land's End, John O'Groats, Mordor, Atlantis and Venus, I kept things simple and asked for music submissions. The rules included one track per person, and outlawed any repeats. I also pledged to listen in the order of submission to avoid any suggestions I was adjusting the playlist to make it easier on me. I also privately promised to run for the entire length of the playlist - had I admitted this, I could pinpoint exactly who would submit the longest song they could find just for a laugh (and one of them couched their suggestion with "the longest version of this song you can find", proving me right).

I was nervous about it, especially knowing what the second song was, and only familiar with about a quarter of the songs submitted. How would they fare as running songs? How would they hold up as songs at all? How far would I have to run? Where is the love? Do they know it's Christmas? D'ya know what I mean?

1. MØL - Bruma 

Straight in with something new, a shoegazey metal band from Denmark! If the two coffees to start the day hadn't woken me up already, this definitely would have done. I really liked it, it reminded me of Arch Enemy and I'm going to check out more of their work later this week.

Song: 8/10

Suitability as a running soundtrack: 10/10

2. Crazy Frog - Axel F

And the first of the troll submissions. (To be fair, with the amount of shots I've taken at Swindon Town on Twitter, I deserved it.) This started as a "grit your teeth and pray for it to end" song but the steady beat and 80s synths really helped me click into my pace - it's just a shame about the ringtone championing amphibian singing all over it! 

Song: 3/10

Running: 8/10 (I'll add the original to my regular running playlists)

3. Bastille - Joy

Any song after the preceding one would be a blessing, but this just clicked with me. Maybe it was seeing the sun breaking through the clouds above the piers, maybe it was just the general pleasantness of the song, but it definitely uplifted my spirits ahead of what could turn out to be a gruelling run. 

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

4. Bill Withers - Lovely Day

And another nice song. A steady beat, a song that moves along at a fair clip, it was a surprise that I found it so easy to run to but I'm pleased it was added. I don't know that it would've clicked quite as much if it had been chucking it down but it really was a lovely day for running!

Song: 10/10

Running: 7/10

5. Vidiots - Dog Rap

I was nervous about this song to start with. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and was slightly scared of what I would have to listen to. Luckily, within about 10 seconds I realised it was exactly the sort of rap parody you'd see on SNL or an episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and I had a great time with it! I did have trouble keeping my cadence to it, unfortunately.

Song: 7/10

Running: 6/10

6. Turbowolf - Domino

I won't lie, I was half hoping that this would be a metal cover of a Jessie J song. It wasn't, but that wasn't much of a detriment - just three minutes of full on rock 'n' roll, and another band I'll check out more of later!

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

7. Rammstein - Deutschland

Finally, a familiar song! I've run to this track before, and it's not the only one of theirs that I've run to, so I could relax into the run a bit easier. I really should remember that my mask blocks infection but not my voice, as I think I scared other runners by singing along.

Song: 10/10

Running: 9/10

8. Das Sound Machine - World Championship Finale

And from a German band to a faux-German group, performing a mash-up of Fall Out Boy and DJ Khaled. While I didn't enjoy the Pitch Perfect movies as much as people expected, this was a clever combination of two songs I was vaguely familiar with, didn't overstay its welcome, and even raised a smile!

Song: 7/10

Running: 5/10

9. Brothers Osborne - It Ain't My Fault

Again, more expectations of pop song covers dashed, but even though this isn't a countrified Zara Larsson song it still rocked! A good steady beat, it reminded me of a train but that may have been because I was running next to a railway line! Another pleasant discovery. I realised at this point that this was also probably the most different male vocalists I'd listened to in succession in years.

Song: 9/10

Running: 7/10

10. HUNGER - Light It Up

Knowing the musical overlap I have with Elise, I was surprised to hear a(nother) male vocalist on this track. It was great despite that, the song reminded me of a third act heroic run in a teen movie, which really boosted my serotonin.

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

11. Prince - When Doves Cry

The first of three submissions from the same person, and reluctantly the only one I could keep. It's to my shame that I forget how good a musician Prince was, and this was a welcome reprise. It soundtracked the portion of my run along the western arm of Brighton Marina, and reminded me of that beautiful moment when two people called Milhouse finally meet.

Song: 10/10

Running: 9/10

12. BLACKPINK - BOOMBAYAH

I'm glad I stuck to my guns regarding not using shuffle, as it lead to this colourful trend - mix black and pink and you get purple, the previous artist's signature colour! Another familiar song, another relaxing segment of the run, by this point along the foot of the cliffs towards Saltdean. By now I was confident of being able to run to pretty much any song - alternating between music and podcasts over the last few years had broken me out of old habits of needing fast paced songs to keep me going. I could just settle in and enjoy the mix of English and Korean!

Song: 9/10

Running: 9/10

13. P!nk - Raise Your Glass

It is a fault of my own that I associate too many songs with the TV show Glee. I noticed it working my way through Van Halen's discography the other week; I noticed it here as well. I mostly put that out of my mind after the first verse, focusing on P!nk's snarky asides that didn't make it into the sanitised, TV friendly version. It also made me realise that I really should listen to her more!

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

14. Stan Getz, Joao Gilberto - The Girl From Ipanema

This was the first song that genuinely threw me off my pace. I stumbled and said (probably too loudly, I'm sure that people overheard) "what the fuck is this?!" when the French jazz came on. Over five minutes long, I felt myself slowing, and willing it to end. My colleague's attempt to throw me off worked - I'm just glad she didn't choose Ed Sheeran!

Song: 2/10

Running: 0/10

15. A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)

(This worked really well, but the plan for using the gif came to me within seconds of the intro and I couldn't not do it)

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

16. The Walkmen - The Rat

By this point I had hit the turn around point and was heading back towards town, along the undulating clifftop. It was also the penultimate song that I had no idea about, and another surprise! Chock full of driving drums, it reminded me (to no detriment) of The Bravery's An Honest Mistake, and I was pleased to find out later that the two songs were released within six months of each other! Another song that'll find its way onto my regular running playlists in the future.

Song: 8/10

Running: 10/10

17. Chemical Brothers - Galvanize

I could've sworn when I was listening to this song that it had been used on an advert, or TV show, perhaps as part of an exercise montage - but Wikipedia is remaining mute on the subject. Regardless, it made me feel like I was in one, so this is going on the playlist from now on. You might say it...galvanised...me into running faster!

Song: 8/10

Running: 10/10

18. Russ Abbot - Atmosphere

The final song on this list that I knew nothing about - and within seconds I was convinced it was a hastily written song to cash in on the popularity of Agadoo. According to Google this was written by Joy Division, but I'm certain that's incorrect. Spotify credits the singer, and it's really not good. I'm just glad it had some semblance of pace to it so it didn't drag!

Song: 1/10

Running: 1/10

19. Britney Spears - Toxic

About ten years ago the branch of German budget supermarket Aldi in Canterbury closed down, and the cramped site was taken over by upmarket supermarket Waitrose. The sudden increase in quality is a perfect metaphor for the vast uptick in quality between the last song and this. The Grammy award winning track is the musical equivalent of doping - listening to it makes you run faster, lighter, easier and happier.

Song: 10/10

Running: 11/10

20. Faithless - Insomnia

This was a song I was convinced I knew, but two-thirds of the way into the song it still wasn't ringing any bells...until the bells kicked in and I recognised the bit played on Invicta FM on the car rides to school all those years ago. Another great song to run to, soundtracking my run along Marine Parade back to the pier.

Song: 9/10

Running: 8/10

21. Garbage - Temptation Waits

The opening track on the first proper album I ever owned, and the third track on the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" original soundtrack album...this is very possibly one of my most listened to songs, ever. A slow burner, it explodes on the listener partway through - and I guess knowing I only had ten minutes left of my run helped boost my motivation too!

Song: 8/10

Running: 8/10

22. Focus - Hocus Pocus (live at the Rainbow)

This was submitted with the caveat of "hopefully a 15 minute live version". The longest one I could find was "only" eight and a half minutes, but the yodelling and guitars sped me to a fast finish on Hove Lawns. I really need to give the studio version another listen!

Song: 8/10

Running: 9/10

Had I just been listening to podcasts, I probably would've called it a day at 10 or 12k. I tucked another 6k under my belt (two more pints in my beer total), covered a more interesting route, and good lord are my legs feeling it now! 

via Blogger https://ift.tt/3lZmYpy

[williamlwolf89]

Beginner’s Guide to CJ Affiliate (Commission Junction) in 2020

Let me guess — CJ Affiliate by Conversant (aka Commission Junction) keeps popping up on your radar, and you’re itching to sign up as a publisher.

But whoa, not so fast.

You want to know what you’re in for before you commit to it.

Those questions racing in your mind?

You need answers, stat.

“What payment methods are available?”

“Why should I join when I’m already a member of other affiliate networks?”

And, of course: “How do I start?”

In this definitive 2020 guide, you’ll learn exactly that.

You’ll also discover just what it takes to earn a passive income with affiliate marketing networks and how to use CJ Affiliate to partner with the biggest brands in the world.

Let’s begin.

CJ Affiliate (Commission Junction): Q&A

What is CJ Affiliate?

Founded over 20 years ago in Santa Barbara, California, CJ Affiliate is one of the world’s largest and oldest affiliate networks.

It specializes in pay-for-performance programs and is part of a Fortune 500 company called Alliance Data Systems.

Yep, that’s how big CJ Affiliate is.

Free Bonus: How to Go From $0 to $1,000 in Passive Income With Affiliate Marketing

With an astounding track record since 1998, this massive affiliate network has 15 offices worldwide and over 3,000 merchants.

Ever wanted to work with the big kahunas like J.Crew, Barnes & Nobles, and GoPro?

CJ Affiliate is it.

How is CJ Affiliate Different From Other Affiliate Networks?

CJ Affiliate has several features to distinguish it from Amazon Associates, ClickBank, ShareASale, eBay Partner Network, and other the affiliate network programs out there for affiliate marketers. Here are a few of them:

1. Stellar Real-Time Reporting

CJ Affiliate is renowned for its always up-to-the-minute analytics.

This means you never have to refresh the page because you can monitor your activity as it happens.

Granted, navigating the dashboard for the first few times may feel overwhelming.

But as you spend more time exploring it, everything becomes intuitive. You’ll also come to realize how invaluable these features really are.

With these insights in your fingertips, you know the types of affiliate products that work best on your blog and how to create content readers love.

2. Tons of Selectivity

Most display advertising networks bunch up dozens of products in one ad code — not CJ Affiliate.

As an affiliate publisher, you choose exactly which advertisers’ individual products you want to display and where.

3. Royal Treatment for Star Publishers

Do you create top-notch content in your blog? Does your blog have 10K+ page views a month? If so, you want to look into CJ Affiliate’s Content Certified program.

As a Content Certified publisher, you automatically connect with over 600 brands — brands that are the cream of the crop.

Thanks to this attractive perk, you enjoy pre-approved access to advertisers for premium rates while maintaining editorial control over your blog’s content.

What are the Sign Up Requirements for CJ Affiliate?

It’s free to join CJ Affiliate.

However, you do have to be at least 18 years old and own a website to sign up as a publisher.

What if you own multiple websites? Does this mean you have to set up multiple accounts?

Not at all. Simply go to Account > Websites > Add Website.

A word of caution:

If you have a new website with little traffic, watch out. Publishers who fail to get results within their first 6 months may get deactivated.

What Affiliate Programs are Available with CJ Affiliate?

CJ Affiliate boasts a phenomenal variety of programs.

From automotive and electronics to gardening and recycling, there really is something for every blogger or entrepreneur.

When you’re on Links > Search, you’ll notice the special filters on the left, like:

Events: Mother’s Day, Christmas, Cyber Monday

Promotion Type: Sales, Hot sweeps, Hot product

Link Types: Banner, Text Link, Content Link

Let’s explore how this works out.

Say, you run a health blog and want to promote health equipment in your blog post, 7 Best Pieces of Equipment for Health Fanatics (Up to __% Discounts!).

With this goal in mind, you could select…

Category: Health > Equipment

Promotion Types: Sale/Discount

Link Types: Banner, Text Link

…and pick the ads that best fit your content.

Pretty neat.

Most offers on CJ Affiliate are cost per acquisition (CPA) — such as pay-per-sale, pay-per-lead, and pay-per-call.

Occasionally, a handful of advertisers offer pay-per-view or pay-per-click.

Placements and flat spend opportunities are also available.

Depending on which program you choose, you can promote products on social media.

Tip: Review the policies of both the advertiser and social media platform before you proceed.

What are CJ Affiliate’s Payment Methods?

As a publisher, you get paid via direct deposit, check, or Payoneer (for non-US folks).

CJ Affiliate pays out within 20 days of the end of the month, as long as you have a minimum payment threshold of US$50 (Direct Deposit) or US$100 (Check).

Commissions from multiple programs will be put together in one account.

For international folks, Payoneer offers over 150 local currencies with zero clearing fees. Commissions are processed according to CJ Affiliate’s standard schedule.

As of this writing, CJ Affiliate doesn’t offer payment via PayPal or credit cards.

Which is it: CJ Affiliate or Commission Junction?

In 2014, Commission Junction’s parent company, ValueClick, was rebranded to Conversant.

Conversant then rebranded Commission Junction to CJ Affiliate.

As a result, people refer to the network by both names: CJ Affiliate (its official name) and Commission Junction (its name for 16 years).

In short, both names are correct.

Alright, now that we’ve gone over the frequently asked questions, let’s roll up our sleeves and tackle the ins and outs of CJ Affiliate.

Starting with:

How Do I Sign Up for CJ Affiliate?

Go to cj.com and sign up as a publisher. Fill in personal information like your name, email address, and preferred language. Click Next.

Look for the confirmation email in your inbox and click the green button ‘Create my CJ Publisher Account’:

You will then be directed to the Publisher Sign Up Form. Fill in your details and click ‘Accept Terms’ to complete registration.

After sign up, you’ll be immediately directed to your CJ Account Manager, a dashboard that housed important details like your network stats, performance summary, and messages.

First, click Account > Network Profile. (Note: you need to complete this profile to join affiliate programs.)

You’ll see these 3 sections in the Network Profile:

Website description (e.g. Share your website’s strengths and relevant statistics.)

Promotion methods (e.g. What affiliate channels do you use to promote advertisers? Is it a blog post, email, social media, or other digital marketing platform?)

Documents (e.g. Do you have a media kit? This is optional but raises your chance of being selected.)

Complete these 3 sections to show advertisers the value you bring and how you amplify their reach with your audience.

Think of it as your cover letter.

The Network Profile is your chance to stand out amongst the sea of publishers.

Next, click Account > Administrative Settings to edit your payment and tax information.

Edit Payment Information and select if you want to receive payment via direct deposit, check, or Payoneer.

Then, edit your Tax Information. CJ Affiliate requires all publishers to submit their tax forms for payout.

US:

W-9 Request for Taxpayer Identification and Certification

Non-US:

W-8BEN Certificate of Foreign Status of Beneficial Owner for United States Tax Withholding

Certificate of No United States Activities

Contact your tax advisor or visit your country’s IRS website if you have questions.

Power tip: Remember to submit a new tax certification if you change your country or business type to receive continued payment.

How Does CJ Affiliate Work?

You should at least have a basic understanding of HTML, as you need this skill to insert the tracking code in your website.

If HTML is completely foreign to you, visit w3schools to pick up this new skill.

To find advertisers within your niche, click Advertisers > Category.

Before you start joining affiliate programs, let’s break down what these 3 columns mean.

The first column, Network Earnings, shows how an advertiser performs on CJ Affiliate.

See that green bar? It’s based on the volume of commissions paid out to publishers like you.

The longer the green bar, the better it is. This indicates the advertisers are actively paying commissions, which is a great sign.

New accounts are labeled “New” for their first three months.

The second column, Earnings per click (EPC) measures how many visitors you can drive through your site that will generate sales for advertisers.

During this 3-month and 7-day period, if there are less than 1000 and 100 clicks respectively, N/A will be displayed.

To view more details about the program, click on the advertiser. It tells you important information such as the commission rates, policies, and referral period.

Click the green ‘Join Program’ button in the third column to submit your application. During this stage, you may be required to accept the terms and conditions.

Many advertisers use automatic rules to accept or decline applications, whereas some review manually.

Responses can take from a day to a few weeks, so you may need to be patient.

Now… advertisers on CJ Affiliate are notorious for being picky.

If your website — knocks on wood — gets rejected, don’t be disheartened. Move on to the next advertiser. Who knows, they may be a better match for your blog.

Upon approval, click Get Links.

Power tip: If you pick banner, flash or text links, hover over the icon to get a preview of the ad. You can see how it will appear on your website.

Next, click the Get Code (</>) button:

There are 4 choices to choose from:

HTML

JavaScript

Click URL (for search engine promotion, aka Google and Bing)

Image URL (for products)

If you want to customize your code (e.g. open in new tab), only customize it via the Get Code interface on CJ Affiliate. Remember to update it. If you don’t, your changes will not take effect.

You’ll notice several advertisers’ codes include different click domains or additional parameters. Do not modify them.

CJ Affiliate will not take any responsibility if publishers modify and make a mistake with the codes.

If you want to modify them or have questions about the code, contact the relevant advertiser (not CJ Affiliate). You can do this in your dashboard: Mail > Messages > Compose.

After you finish customizing, copy the entire code:

…and paste it into your web page.

If you select HTML, make sure you’re on Text editor mode before you paste it.

Need to refresh your memory? Here’s a handy guide on how to use WordPress’s Block Editor.

Voila, you’re done.

To verify your tracking code, go to Reports > Performance Reports.

Adjust the filters as you see fit. Let it run for a while. If your link is reporting clicks or impressions, it’s tracking.

Power tip: Watch out for invalid links on a daily basis, as offers expire or advertisers may get deactivated.

On your Tasks list, look for a “Review __ click(s) from invalid links”.

And keep a close eye on your notifications. You will be notified if a link or ad isn’t working.

If you’ve been reading CJ Affiliate reviews in forums, you’ll notice there have been numerous cases where publishers are promoting links even when advertisers have already left the program.

Don’t let this soul-crushing situation happen to you.

It’s a huge waste of time and effort.

Final Tips to Make it Big on CJ Affiliate

Your website needs a ton of targeted traffic to start earning commissions.

Typically, it takes three to six months to start seeing results.

Affiliate marketing is a patience and stamina game⁠ — and CJ Affiliate is no exception.

Bloggers who have found success recommend this: create your blog’s content around the product. Select the products you trust and love. From there, brainstorm lead generation and content ideas for new customers.

For example, Riley Adams of Young and the Invested is an affiliate of tax preparation software, TurboTax. Take a look at how he shapes his content around the product:

You can do this in any niche.

Check out how Jo-Lynne Shane, a fashion blogger and Content Certified publisher at CJ Affiliate, does it in her holiday gift guide blog post:

You can also do this on your blog resource page. David Alexander of Mazepress added affiliate links in the email marketing and social media tools he recommends to his readers:

Moving forward, you want to make monitoring a habit, as your best-performing affiliate marketing programs signal the type of products and content your readers want.

Your most successful affiliate programs don’t just earn you passive income.

They also inspire new blog post topics and business ideas you’d never thought of.

CJ Affiliate (Commission Junction): An Affiliate Network Trusted by Advertisers and Publishers Alike

Have you decided if CJ Affiliate is a good fit for you?

If you’re just starting out in the blogging scene with only a few hits a day, it probably isn’t the right time to join this network.

But if you’re a blogger with an established audience?

Or an entrepreneur with high-quality traffic on your website?

Then yes.

CJ Affiliate could be the yin to your yang.

With its superior reporting and the opportunity to work with the world’s most recognized brands, this affiliate network shouldn’t be missed.

Sign up today as a publisher and try it yourself.

The post Beginner’s Guide to CJ Affiliate (Commission Junction) in 2020 appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/cj-affiliate-commission-junction/

[bunnyrapline]

Markiplier Ego AU

So I got bored, and I was thinking of that Editing is Everything trailer that was basically all the egos were split personalities. So I made a little thing. It’s not a story it’s more like an idea for a story? Kind of like a quick list of which personalities I’d include and some of their traits. I ended up turning it into a kind of observation sheet though.

So I guess it’s more like a prologue of a story I’m most likely not going to write. Basically it’s an observation sheet from someone at a hospital that Mark was admitted to after an incident with one of his personalities. It’s a bit of their observations as well as written down characteristics that Mark has given them followed by some advice for whoever the lucky therapist is. (If I wanted to keep it the spirit of things as they have been the Therapist could even be Y/N). Im going to post it below this (also the dates aren’t included in the sheet, they were there for me to figure out who was made first. That was part of the boredom thing).

List of Personalities

Mark (2012)

The original personality

Dark (2012)

Main emotions: Anger and Rage

Also a schemer and manipulator

Wilford Warfstache (2012)

Unstable

Holds the worst of trauma

Can be Violent

Doesn’t understand consequences of actions

King of the Squirrels (Jan 2013)

Animal lover

Loves outdoors

The Author (Feb 2013)

Loves to write

Enjoys trying to get others to do what he wants

Like to push others to their limits

Ludwig Von BallingCrusher (July 2013)

Work out enthusiast

strong

Dr. Iplier (Oct 2013)

Obsessed with others dying (not in a murder way)

Believes self to be doctor and has significant medical knowledge

Bad bed-side manner; lacks empathy

Tim (Jan 2014) (It’s tiny box tim but it felt weird not including him so I mae him a personality)

Innocent

Has the mind of a child

Mental age around 7-10 is the guess right now

Silver Shepard (June 3, 2014)

Wants to help save the day

Wants to help people

low self-esteem

Googleiplier (Oct 2014) (May 2017 goes by Google Blue or Blue)

The logical side

Not emotionless; likes to ignore emotions

Has stammering issues that translate as glitches and pauses in “system”

Has a dislike for humanity and wishes to see them destroyed

Bim Trimmer (Dec 2014)

Business oriented

Could be a cannibal? (talks about it sometimes)

Bad with names

Ed Edgar (Mar 2015)

Obsessed with selling things; specifically people though

Has tried on numerous occasions to sell us the Tim personality

At denials lowered price and even offered to give us money if we took him

We find this concerning for a multitude of reasons

The Host (May 2015)

Created from the author

Traumatized

Narrates what happens around him

Talks to themselves b/c of this and has a hard time communicating with others

(FNAF) Security Guard (June 2015)

Paranoid about safety

Concerned with keeping entries and exits to the places their staying are secure

Survivalist (Feb 2016)

Loves harsh realities of outdoors

Extremist

Has a hard time dealing with society

Chefiplier (Aug 2016)

Has a passion for cooking

Yandereplier (Nov 13, 2016)

Dangerous and unstable

Focus on individuals they think they love

Violent when perceived to be rejected

Likes swords

Santiplier (Nov 2016)

Unhealthy obsession with Christmas

Takes the negative part of Christmas to seriously

The Jims (May 5, 2017)

Ridiculous but antics are humorous

IS One personality as but contains many within it

leads to conversations with Himself (their selves?)

Bingiplier (May 2017)

More relaxed than Google

More concerned with being cool

Has a bro skater personality

Doesn’t suffer from same glitching problem that Google Blue does

-23. Google’s Red, Yellow, & Green (May 2017)

Function more smoothly than Google Blue

Each have their own separate personality

Yellow is more human and has the widest range of emotions

Red tends to be less patient and easier to anger

Green tends to take more after B with few emotions, but is calmer than all the rest

R, Y, & G don’t feel the same contempt for people that B does but assist in his plans anyway

Oddly enough they also don’t suffer from the same “glitching” that Google Blue does

Note:

As of this moment it is not exactly clear what has brought out the personalities of The Host, Google Red, Google Green, and Google Yellow. All that is known, is that they are a split off from two of the main personalities; The Author and Google Blue (formally known as Googleiplier) respectively. We can only deduce that the splits of occurred from some form of trauma the aforementioned personalities suffered personally. Being that Mark has had no form of therapy to treat his condition before this point there is, at this moment, no way to gather information on the trauma without directly discussing it with the personalities involved.

As you read the list that follows this note, you will find this to be particularly distressing. The best thing for now would be to get the personalities comfortable with you before trying to push any sensitive subjects. A good portion of them don’t do well under stress, and some show high likely hoods of being dangerous as a main part of their personalities. It is presumed that these personalities are the ones that were created specifically to protect Mark at the time from danger, but have also been warped by the traumas they were created by.

Another important matter. DO NOT REFER TO THEM AS PERSONALITIES. For an unknown reason this has had a poor effect on every single personality, even the original Mark showed a disdain. They see themselves as completely separate beings all stuck in the same body, and while this is a serious issue, for now it would be better to refer to them as they have asked and have done so themselves for years. When you refer to them CALL THEM EGOS. It’s ridiculous I know but the first step is building a rapport with Mark and them before we can move any further. Once they trust you they will be more likely to share and hopefully some healing can occur.

Be careful though. Some of them are manipulators and will say what you want to here if they think they can get something out of it. Both the above list and the one below, though they do contain info we’ve gathered from our brief time of observation, are mostly compiled from what the patient, Mark, has told us of the individual personalities egos. I would take them as fact until he comes in for his first session and you are able to determine for yourself.

Though there are many concerning attributes of some of the egos, it is important to note that, until the incident that occurred a few days ago, there have never been any incidents, police reports, or anything pointing to troubling behavior from Mark that would point this being a known pattern of behavior. Hopefully whatever occurred was just a onetime occurrence of a mind under serious duress. However, If you see anything that points to the opposite of that it is your responsibility to report, and if necessary commit the young man if necessary. The safety of the public must come first.

Good Luck. Below are the egos put in categories egos are the least likely to be triggered into a violent state, can be triggered into a violent state, and those to be extremely cautious of.

Mostly Harmless Egos

Bingiplier

The Jims

Chefiplier

King of the Squirells

Bim Trimmer (watch him though, the talk of cannibalism makes us uncomfortable)

Ed Edgar

Silver Shepard

Tim

Ludwig von BallingCrusher

Egos Likely to Be Triggered into Violence or Instability

The Host

Wilford

FNAF Security Guard

Survivalist

Santiplier

Google’s Red, Green, & Yellow

Egos that are Dangerous

Dark

Google B

Yandere

The Author

So that’s it. Know it’s long. And if I got anything wrong either with the egos or with therapy, therapist stuff let me know. Any mistakes were not intentional. If I ever did write this I would do more proper research or I would switch the focus away from the therapy stuff if I got too worried about getting all that stuff messed up (which I am by the way).

Here’s the video by the way

[seriestrash]

The Story of Us

PROLOGUE || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 ||

✮ Epilogue ✮

Word Count: 2,348

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

10 years later…

It had been ten years since Rhiannon and Jedediah remarried. A union that would sadly only get until Christmas that year but their love would last long after both of them passed. It was only a few short weeks later that the Matthews returned to New York with a few hearts broken in the process.

Although her inevitable return to the city happened it wasn’t the last time Riley would twirl her way through Hillford Creek. A few events over the years would draw the brunette back into town, mostly happy reasons but some brought on by sad circumstances. Despite the reason, good or bad, Riley found it harder each and every time it came for her to leave.

Now, nearly four years since her last visit Riley sits on on a near empty bus. Her gaze fixated out the window, a small smile resting on her face as she admires the scenic drive into town. Her nostalgia building with every mile behind her.

Riley trips on the last step off the bus in her true klutzy fashion. Quickly she steadies herself and has a quiet laugh at the same sorry excuse of a bus stop she first arrived at all those years ago. The brunette inhales deeply, with a smile on her face she walks towards the sign that reads;

‘Welcome to Hillford Creek
, Austin Texas’

There’s no question in Riley’s mind about where she wanted to go first. The moment she reaches the outskirts of the main town Riley veers off in the direction of the old inn. The road now free of overgrown foliage and clearly signed, a contrast to the trees and bushes she’d weave through as a teenager.

Riley walks up to what was once an abandoned inn, now a beautifully repaired home. The last time Riley was here there was a sign out front with a newly placed ‘sold’ sticker. In it’s place now stands a sign that reads ‘Hillford Creek Veterinarian Clinic’. With a soft smile, Riley reflects on something that was once quiet chatter on the floor of a burnt out room, now a beautiful reality.

The city born girls thoughts are interrupted when she’s nearly tackled to the ground by an excited dog. 

“Oh Otis,” Riley pats the dog that has two paws pressed up against her stomach. “You remember me don't you, boy?” Riley sratches the German Shepard as he pants excitedly. 

A quiet giggle escapes her, Riley looks up and around to see where the dog came from, to see if he was there. Then, through the glass of the first story bay window Riley finds him. Lucas. The Texan is already staring out at her, his attention spiked when he heard his dog barking. 

Lucas sits there frozen in place, a mixture of awestruck and sheer shock controls him. Riley too stays in place, her hand continuing to lightly scratch Otis’ neck, a smile creeping wider with every second passing under the gaze of Lucas. Finally the brunette raises a hand giving him a gentle wave. The Texans shocked expression cracks with a smile as he mimics her greeting. 

Lucas stands and heads for the front door, Riley moves too, like a magnetic pull bringing them closer. They meet on the front porch, both at a lost for words. 

“Hi.” Lucas exhales loudly, finally breaking the silence.

“Hey.” Riley giggles nervously. A sound Lucas had missed.

“Do you want to come inside?” Lucas sheepishly motions towards the door. 

Riley gives him a small nod and follows close behind as he leads them in. Now over the threshold Riley lets the duffle bag on her shoulder slip off and hit the floor with a gentle thud. 

“Wow.” Riley says letting her eyes dance around the entrance. Riley finds it difficult to believe that this beautifully renovated building was once the eerily abandoned inn she had visited many times in the past. “This place is... Spectacular.” Riley’s eyes fall back upon Lucas’. 

The Texan just bashfully shrugs a shoulder. 

“Is it finished?” Riley questions. 

“Technically, I guess.” Another dismissive shrug of his shoulder. 

“Technically?” Riley raises a brow. 

“It’s just one of those things, ya know?” Lucas lets out an embarrassed laugh. “You build something up in your head then its hard for it to ever live up to the expectations.” 

“You’re not happy?” Riley frowns. 

“No I am.” Lucas shakes his head. “It’s just not... complete. Not yet.” 

“Did you do everything you planned?” Riley asks. “Clearly you added the clinic,” Riley motions to the front desk, “But you live here too?” 

“Yes Ma'am.” Lucas nods. “Would you like the grand tour?” 

“Absolutely.” Riley beams. “But I wanted to give you something first. A very late house warming gift.” 

Lucas watches as Riley crouches by her duffle bag. She stands again with a framed photo in her hand. “I found it when I packing up a few of my grandmas things.” Riley explains. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to the funeral.” Lucas frowns. 

“Don’t worry you have your hands full with the clinic.” Riley gives him a small smile. “I got your flowers.” The death of Rhiannon was still fresh for Riley and ached to think about too much. 

“May I see?” Lucas holds a hand out for the photo. Riley lets out a laugh realising she's still clutching it to her chest. 

“Of course.” She passes the black frame to Lucas and watches as he inspects the photo. 

“Is this...Is this from the day they all met?” Lucas looks up from the photo with knitted brows and a slight smile. 

Riley nods, taking another look at the photograph that could possibly be pinpointed as to what spurred this unannounced visit, one of the reasons at least. A photo of Jed, Rhiannon, Joe and Mae all standing out front of the inn. Each pair had their individual couple photos that Riley saw during her stay in Hillford as a teenager, this photo was from the same moment, just of them all together. “My grandma had told me that she had more photos from this day but I forgot about that until I went through her things.” 

“There’s more?” Lucas asks. 

“Yes. I found a whole album from her whimsical trip around the country as a young adult.” Riley explains. “I brought a couple with me from her very short stay in Hillford... If you wanted to see them.” 

“Of course I want to see them.” Lucas says genuinely and it makes Riley smile to think that all these years have passed and it can still feel like they're two excited teenagers uncovering their intertwined pasts. “How about I show you around the place and then we can sit down, look at the photos and catch up?” 

Riley thinks that sounds wonderful. Lucas starts to give Riley the grand tour. One half of the first story to the left of the stairs is a living and dining area, there’s also a kitchen and main bathroom. To the right of the stairs is the bay window turned little library, they only pass through that to make their way into the clinic section of the home. Riley is amazed at how profession it all looked and she presses Lucas about his business whilst commending his efforts and expressing her wonder in him achieving all he has. Then Riley does something that she hadn't in all the times she visited the inn, she went upstairs. 

Lucas explains how the second story used to consist of six smallish rooms considering it’s a small town and not exactly touristy. Riley finds that he’s renovated to four grand rooms. The main bedroom, Lucas’ room, has an ensuite attachment and there’s also a smaller communal bathroom upstairs too. 

At the end of the hall is the second bay window Lucas had mentioned in the past. One Riley could only see from outside of the building. Riley slowly walks towards it, now leading herself in this tour. Her knees lightly brush the edge of the seat cushion as she gets a good look out the glass. This window overlooks the yard area. Riley didn’t spend much time out the back of the building because of how overgrown the surrounding grass and foliage was but now it’s cleared completely. The old barn that was affected from the fire too has been restored to its full potential. 

All the nostalgia and astonishment building within Riley started to become overwhelming and began to resonate negatively for reasons she couldn’t really explain. 

“Riley, are you alright?” Lucas asks noticing Riley’s deflated mood. 

“Yeah.” Riley says and it feels like a lie. “It’s just- Living in LA these past few years, kinda makes me feel like I’m missing out...” 

Lucas instantly remembers her saying the same thing about coming from New York. “You know, not a lot of people would be disappointed about living in LA.” 

“I’m not a lot of people.” Riley almost snaps but lets out a sigh. “I’m not disappointed, I’m uninspired..” 

“How about we go downstairs?” Lucas nudges his head towards the stairs. 

Riley follows Lucas back down and instinctively Riley goes towards the bay window. Lucas leaves Riley be for a moment whilst he makes his way to the kitchen to fetch them two coffees. 

Now alone Riley takes in her surroundings since they only brushed past this room on the tour. Maybe that was because of the conversations they shared as teens, maybe it was because of the sweet stolen kisses leading up to her departure. Whatever it was, Lucas seemed just as bashful as Riley when they first entered. 

Riley smiles at the bay window seat itself. It had been upgraded again since Lucas first renovated it over ten years ago but still had the same feel it did back then. Riley looks at the shelves of books, this was literally a conversation they had as teenagers come to life. As Riley’s gaze is wandering around the small room she stops when something catches her eye nearly knocking the breath out of her. She steps towards the chest height book shelf but whats captivate her attention is hanging above it. Riley’s eyes remain fixated on the single item framed up on the wall. 

“Oh that.” Lucas laughs nervously as he reentered the room and spotted Riley’s staring. 

“Is that...?” Riley turns to face Lucas, her voice almost a whisper. 

“You told me to keep it forever.” Lucas matches her soft tone. 

Riley turns to take another look at the the item. A single fallen leaf that floated into her lap ten years beforehand, one she passed onto Lucas, now framed and hung in a room that held such dear memories for her. 

Impulsively Riley spins back around and engulfs Lucas in a hug. He’s surprised at first thus making him a little stiff but quickly warms up as he wraps his arms around Riley’s back, still a little awkward as he holds two coffee cups in hand but it still felt nice for them both. 

When the two finally part they sit in the bay window, each with a hot coffee in hand. 

“So what brings you back into town?” Lucas finally asks the question thats been pressing in his mind since he first noticed her through the window. 

“Mabel’s shower is in a few weeks.” Riley sips at her hot beverage. 

“You came three weeks early for that?” Lucas questions. 

“Well that’s not the only reason I came back.” Riley laughs nervously. 

“No?” Lucas asks. 

“My publisher has been pressing me about a new book.” Riley explains.

“I’m not surprised.” Lucas says. “You’ve released two best sellers for them already.” 

Riley smiles that Lucas has kept up to date with her life even though their contact tapered off significantly after they parted ways last time. “I released a sequel to the first book because they asked but making it a trilogy just doesn’t feel right.” 

“You have to stay true to yourself and produce something you’re happy with.” Lucas says. 

“It took me a little while to come to that realisation myself but I did.” Riley says proudly. “Inspiration sparked in unsuspecting time. So I told my publishers that I would write them another book but only one that meant something to me.” 

“They were okay with that?” Lucas questions. 

“They were a bit shocked with my outburst but they were alright with it in the end.” Riley nods. “I tried to write in LA and even though I knew exactly what I wanted to write I was just uninspired where I was, so I told my agency that I wanted some time away to write this book.” 

“So you came here?” Lucas asks. 

“I couldn’t draw inspiration of a tiny town living in LA now could I?” Riley asks coyly. 

“I’m intruiged.” Lucas matches her playfull demeanour. “Do I get to know more about this story?” 

“There’s three stories actually,” Riley clarifies, “They’re all intwined into one. There’s a love story about about a foreign ballerina and a lowly stable boy.” 

Lucas sucks back a breath but doesn’t interrupt. 

“And another about a man who moves two thousand miles away from home to feel closer to the woman he let go.” Riley continues. “A story of how they met and how they found their way back to each other.” 

“And the third story?” Lucas’ voice wavers. 

“The story of two teenagers uncovering these two stories and finding out how they were connected before they were even born.” Riley says with a small smile. 

“Are there happy endings all round?” Lucas swallows hard. 

“I’m still trying to determine is that’s possible.” Riley chews on her bottom lip. “What do you think?”

“Sounds inevitable to me.” Lucas says, a crooked smile plastered on his face. 

Riley lets out a breath she was holding in. “Yeah?” 

“Sounds, epic.” Lucas says still smiling. “Does this story have a title yet?” 

Riley nods, bites down on her bottom lip and delivers her words with a hopeful smile. “The Story of Us.” 

End Notes: IMPORTANT. 

There is ONE more part coming after this. A bonus chapter titled ‘The Missing Years’ which I will give you key information about important events of ALL characters in the past ten years. 

This story is almost over and as always, it’s been a pleasure my loves !! :)