#also ur tags are so real LET ME OUT I AM. IMPRISONED. the bind they have me in is unreal

[skrunksthatwunk]

GRAHAHHH I FIRGOT AND THIS REMINDED ME BUT LIKE YK THAT THING BOTAN SAYS EARLY ON THAT YUSUKE GETS MAD TO MASK/NOT FEEL/NOT PROCESS HIS FEAR?? KUWA DOES THAT FOR HIS SORROW A LOTTA THE TIME GRRRGHRGRGRGGRHH

also YEAH yusuke saying that ur first babeyy shit IMMEDIATELY after proposing to keiko is so fuckign. i really do think she should dump his ass it'd be so funny and also kinda rough

BUT YOUR THING ABOUT THE KUWAMESHI DIVORCE (jfgdks) NECESSITY IS SO TRUE IM FUCKING LOSING IT BC THATS WHAT IVE BEEN THINKING. WHEN YUSUKE DIES A SECOND TIME KUWA KINDA HAS TO BACK OFF AND BECOME HIS OWN PERSON BY NOT FOLLOWING YUSUKE AND BY PURSUING HIS OWN GOALS/SELF IMPROVEMENT ALONE. IT'S ABOUT FACING HIS FEAR OF BEING WITHOUT YUSUKE AND BECOMING A SEPARATE SECURE PERSON. AND YUSUKE DISTANCING HIMSELF IS ABOUT PROTECTING OTHERS FROM HIM BC HE VIEWS HIMSELF AS BAD (a lot like hiei actually) BUT IT'S ALSO FOR SURE BECAUSE HE CAN'T STAND REJECTION (also a lot like hiei but that's another story) ESPECIALLY FROM THE FEW PPL HE TRUSTS. HE IS FRAGILE OKAY.

BUT I DIDNT REMEMBER HOW UPSET KUWA WAS BY YUSUKE LEAVING LIKE HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND FURIOUS HEARTBROKEN ETC. like he doesn't even consider following yusuke to hell this time but he's devastated when yusuke won't stick around for him. yusuke's always leaving and kuwabara's always running after him and finally kuwa puts his foot down and stays and it sucks so hard. but that's why yusuke says he's coming back. not to wait for him, bc he's doing his own shit, but like.. listen compare it to keiko where he's trying to not get dumped. he's asking for her to wait (again) for him and put her life (specifically her love life) on hold until he can be there for her. but with kuwa his plans for the next 3 years aren't romantic or tied to yusuke, and yusuke thus cheers him on and promises to return not to keep him hooked, but like.. bc he cares about him and doesn't want him to feel abandoned. he encourages him to be his own person this way, and to excel in something yusuke never could. it's a challenge to improve themselves. it's a challenge to improve their relationship. when i/you come back, you better have become something spectacular and singular. GUH im actually such a sucker for codependence -> healthy relationship via distance arcs you never see them but YEHA. anyway they both force this bc they need to work some shit out basically.

one thing to note is that yusuke's chosen purpose for living, for fighting, for everything, is his friends. to be there for them and protect them. he dies for others twice. he is motivated to grow by, often, the loss of others. yusuke is also overly dependent on his friends to an extent, both as a reason to keep living and as an identity, like kuwabara is, although kuwa's is much more centrally focused on yusuke. i think yusuke leaving is partially because of that. he needs to figure out who he is without worrying about hurting or protecting anyone else (or about the rejection that would come from proving to them once and for all that he's an irredeemable monster). they're in danger around him bc of raizen's ability to possess him and because of his new powers/experiences and the unknowns surrounding that. but i think a lot of it is a similar journey of figuring out who he is on his own. and neither of them are really doing it for each other, exactly. because of them, partially, but not for them, because if that was the only thing they'd stay together because that's easiest.

and this way when they come back after three years they've grown enough to be way more fucking normal about each other. not with that as the goal per se, which might have defeated the purpose, but as a happy side effect. and then they get a big fat gay wedding

anyway yusuke needs kuwabara bc he needs someone who's seen the worst of him and who hasn't known him all his life and is still ride or die for him (battling the rejection stuff) and kuwabara needs yusuke because he needs some direction in his life via a challenge/rivalry and then it goes too far and his entire identity becomes linked to yusuke such that he's not a mountain but like. a part of him. so he needs him to be something, to be a person worth anything both via the self improvement via narrative of overcoming adversity via rivals that he initially meant to get from their relationship (imo) AND to take his mind off all the ways he's (to the world and himself) a screw up with no future. and then they don't see each other for three years and they kinda reset a bit and realign and can match each other less painfully now. yeah 👍

but yeah it's good for their relationship but also FUCKING. OW

this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me