#also u think I’m the most valid person ever soo.....

[peach-coke]

PEACHY!! I just finished the final. How u doing? What do you think?

Hey Sol! Sorry for leaving you hanging with an answer for a couple days but I had to process. And mourn, after all I said goodbye to something that has been part of me for 15 years. That's half my life. It's weird and I don't think I've ever cried as much as I have in the past 3 days but... Well. Luckily, they're happy tears. "Don't cry because it's over, cry because it happened" aside? I love the ending.

It's all I could've ever asked for. Ah, who am I kidding? It's more than that. I was prepared to be gutted in a really bad way. I am gutted but for all the right reasons. It was tragic. It was painful. It was beautiful. But most of all? It was a Love-Letter.

I know there’s a lot of people who’re upset about parts of the episode; I understand. We’re all grieving in our own ways. I hope however, that once the dust has settled and feelings stop spiking into extremes, people will realize that the episode left so many things unsaid and ambiguous... Meaning there's lots and lots of space for interpretation and headcanons to “fix” the finale into something that makes it better for you. And I’d like to think this was done on purpose.

I’m soo sorry I end up rambling on one of your asks again Sol, but I’ll do exactly that to pick up some of the things I’ve seen people be most upset about and give some of my perspective on them. Maybe it’ll help some people to feel better and grow to love the final as much as I do ♥

One thing I’ve seen a lot of people be upset about is that Dean didn’t get to live the life they’ve fought for so hard. Actually? We don’t know that. There is no timestamps, no indicators that tell us they didn’t do what we saw in the first domestic montage for a couple years. The only hint we have is that Miracle is still around and kicking, so it couldn’t have been more than maybe 6 years (because 6-8ish is when a dog that size shows clears signs of aging). Besides that? Nobody and nothing stops us in believing they had that “domestic bliss with a little bit of hunting on the side”-life for quite a while before it happened.

Them talking about mourning Cas and Jack is no indicator either. I still mourn people I lost 15 years ago, when the occasion calls for it or I remember them in moments that they would’ve loved to be part of. Mourning never stops… Of course, even 6 years aren’t a lifetime. But do we really think Dean - our Dean - would’ve been happy and content with a 9-to-5 job? Yeah, didn’t think so either...

Then, we have the rebar. Which honestly didn’t bother me at all, for several reasons. First, I love parallels and this episode was so full of them… Not only was the whole “stabbed in the back” thing a direct callback to arguably the most painful death in the series to date – Sam’s first in All Hell Breaks Loose – it was also a callback to The Song Remains the Same. The episode where Sam is stabbed by Anna – with a rebar/fixture she ripped out of the wall - and bleeds out on the floor. The only reason he got out of it alive, is because John!Michael fixed him. Otherwise? He would’ve died by being stabbed with a rebar. Just like that.

Ash himself told them that they died several times together and can’t remember because the angels don’t want them to. We, the viewers, have never seen them die together until Dark Side Of The Moon. Which strongly implies that they must’ve died on random hunts. More than once.

So Dean’s death in the barn? That’s what happens to Hunters who have no divine intervention. That’s what happens to Hunters who are living the life without being chosen for something bigger. That’s what happens to Hunters with free will. Dean’s death in the barn was a true Hunter’s death. The one he always wanted. There’s no glory, there’s nothing special about it. It just is. And I thought that was tragically poetic in its own way.

I know people were expecting them to go out Butch and Sundance style. Together – I admittedly wanted that too. But the way Dean’s death happened didn’t bother me at all. And honestly? Sam’s soul died in that barn, too. We know it did. So they did go out together, one way or another. It was just not the way we expected.

The cinematic parallels of Sam’s life without Dean to Dean’s life without Sam after Swan Song honestly floored me. It was beautifully heartbreaking.

We see Sam living his life while Dean is driving along “right there beside him, every step of the way”. We see him holding on for Dean, fulfilling the promise he made to his brother about living on. Making sure there’s always a Winchester that knows love left in the world. The final sacrifice of Sam, the bravest and strongest man we know. Sam, who sits down in the car he once called home, to be close to the one person that always held the same connotation. Sam, who knows his other half is waiting for him, sitting just there in the same spot he is. Every step of the way. That’s my Supernatural right there.

What I especially like about the whole thing is, that it once again leaves us with another take besides the one we actually saw and thought obvious. We can also pretend Sam died on that werewolf hunt, shortly after Dean’s death. There is nothing that stops you from seeing this as canon, (There’s actually quite a few hints that it’s a very strong possibility), because the way the whole scene played out could’ve easily been a daydream of Dean while he was driving in heaven.

The fact they left it open like that is a gift, in my eyes. They could’ve easily forced a fixed narrative on us. But they didn’t. Same with so many other things. They left us with so many possibilities and room for our own takes. And I think it’s fair that people need time to process what we’ve been given here. It’s fair that people are still upset about some aspects, because they have yet to realize that there is a pathway for them to see it differently, without discarding canon at all.

There’s only one thing that is not open for interpretation. And that’s that Sam and Dean love each other as much as two human beings can love each other. And none of them is complete without the other. I never quite understood why some people needed the show to end on romantic notes. Supernatural has never been about that. It has always been about the deep, abiding love those two brothers had for each other and how neither heaven nor hell ever stood a chance against it. Platonic love is just as beautiful as romantic love; sometimes even more so. And that’s what this finale showed us.

And that’s why I love it so much. Why I say it’s a Love-Letter. It’s a Love-Letter to us; The ones who’ve been there all the way from the start. The ones who’ve seen the show for what it is and what it has always been: The epic love story of Sam and Dean Winchester.

Despite all that, it is still valid to dislike the ending. You are entitled to do so. But if you really think Sam and Dean - two soulmates, surrounded by the people they love, at peace - spending the rest of eternity together in heaven is the absolute worst possible ending that destroyed everything the show ever stood for? I’m sorry, but in that case you did not understand Supernatural at all.

[carbootsoul]

fic recs? ive been combing out my locs for 3 hours and im So Bored,,.,.,

hell YEAH i have so many since i uh have been reading soo much fanfiction over quarantine lol and have also been reading ace attorney fic since like 5th grade or something equally stupid. like i am running out. (also thank u for the excuse to reread my favorite fics sjdklfjs i have to make sure they’re as good as i remember before recommending them to u 🥺). sorry this is a little late i finally convinced my little brother to watch sk8 with me lol

anyway leo’s fanfiction recs!! these aren’t in any particular order (technically they’re in chronological order of when i read them i guess) and most of them r going to be ace attorney but i think i’ve got two or three mp100 fics too!! i just didn’t have as many mob psycho fics bookmarked which is bothering me since i know i’ve read a lot of really good serirei fics i just didn’t save them everywhere.. if i send u an ask later with just links to a few that’s why.

gravity- (ace attorney, klapollo, rated e) if u haven’t read gravity yet.. i mean valid but i reread this one last night and it is just as good as i remember.. this is a weird thing to say about a klapollo fanfiction (and the klapollo is VERY GOOD) but i am obsessed with how miles and phoenix r characterized in this it’s such a fun perspective on their characters oh my god. there are a few points in this fic where i had to like. stop and look away because i was so excited about how it was written lol. there’s a second part to this fic that’s a mini wrightworth scene and it makes me go actually insane

the same thing, self aware- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated m) cw past alcoholism. one of my top 3 ace attorney fanfics honestly 🥺 the premise is that phoenix and miles broke up when phoenix adopted trucy and they decide to spend a weekend together when miles gets back to san francisco (latter half of the 7 year gap) and GOD. it’s p angsty but has a happy ending and is also like. such an interesting look at their characters. also this:

“Well, fuck, Miles, why did you even ask me here?” Miles says into the kitchen sink, “Because you used to be my best friend.”

forty years in the wilderness- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) classic post aj fic about edgeworth’s return to the states. i think most ppl have read this one but like. for good reason. sometimes i talk to my friend leo while i read fics and send them my favorite parts and i swear i sent them like 3/4ths of this fic. it’s just SO sweet and in character and i love it

to go another day- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) god this fic is STUPID fluffy and rly short but it lives in my head rent free. horrifyingly in character and im obsessed with it

what we make- (mp100, reigen & tome, rated t) it’s been a while since i read this but im weak for any content about tome and reigen since like.. i’m obsessed with how similar they are.. the same kind of obnoxious gay. also the background serirei is rly sweet 🥺🥺

all there is- (ace attorney, wrightworth & past krisnix, rated e) cw for dubcon, dissociation during sex, and alcoholism. this is probably the angstiest fic on this list and deals with a lot of heavy topics but it’s really well written. the summary says ‘phoenix and kristoph during the seven year gap, phoenix and miles after it’ and yeah basically. 

catch me i’m falling- (mob psycho, terumob, rated g) college aus.. pining teru.... other ppl having crushes on mob (as they should).. fluff... shou being mean to teru... thank u

wilst du mich heiraten?- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) HI THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FANFICTION EVER oh my GOD its so tender and good and the found family of it all. miles calling phoenix darling/sweetheart is my favorite hc. it’s told in two parts- one from phoenix’s pov before his disbarrment and one from apollo’s after everything with kristoph- and i just. seriously read this one it makes me so very happy. everything by the author is also good- my other personal favorites are love most definitely requited (the only hanahaki fic i’ve ever enjoyed) and reading between the lines (the original trilogy from miles’s pov). 

surrender on no sides- (mob psycho, character driven/ritshou, rated m for drug use, violence, and psychological abuse) tw for a lot of things- i’d advise looking at the tags. ok when i said all there is is the angstiest fic i was lying because i forgot about this one. uhh frankly don’t read it if you’re at all worried about any of the tags because this is VERY intense. the premise is that ritsu is the one who goes into mogami’s fucked up head land instead of mob (& mogami’s world is worse than canonically) and things just go downhill from there. i think about this fic on a weekly basis tho

this got LONG i didn’t realize how many favorite fics i had until i was listing them. thank u for asking tho!! i get really excited about things i’m into so it’s fun to get to ramble about them lol. i hope u enjoy these (and that you haven’t read all of them already lol)

[adellovesrowan]

RSA- I forgot about Adel’s phobia. If it’s any consolation, I’m afraid of most bugs (literally every bug except bees). JT has nosophobia (the fear of disease) so flu season is an absolute nightmare for her. When you mentioned Cherry and Adel’s similarities you said at the end “ they both have a thing for the teachers pet good girl nerds”? 👀 Wait is Cherry wlw as well? Who exactly does she have a thing for? She shares a favorite color (purple) w JT. Also I’d love to hear indo hcs for Dian 🥺

HSHSJS UR SO VALID bugs are scary lmao. and ohhhh poor jt😭 KFHAKJDKSJ i cant say, its a “trust me on this” situation😌 but yes cherrys a wlw !! ohhhh yes purple gang !! KDJKAJF ok ok well some dian hcs thats been in my mind for some time. if dian were a hogwarts student, he would be a gryffindor. shes a fighter and hardly ever gives up. also he curses like a sailor and a lot of times various indo curses make their way in and its rly unnerving when u dont know what they mean JDJKAJD. also dian calling her friends indo terms of endearment🥺 like abang / bang / bung ( brother ), mbak / neng ( sister ), kawan / kawanku ( friend / my friend ), etc. also him wearing batik would be chefs kiss🥺 hdhdhdhhd i love dian thank u

RSA- sometimes Thea gets mistaken for a lobosca-kim since she’s got white hair and pale skin like Chiara plus black eyes. I like to think Chiara is tall so Thea looks like her in that regard as well but no she’s not related to any of them. She also follows the wolf trend of obvious names. Her full name influenced her design since Galatea means “milk white” and in the myth, Galatea was originally a statue. Wait Thea as an art model for Badeea’s classes 🥺 oh my god she’d be so pretty <3

HDHDHSHDH OH I LOVE THAT ! pleaseeee thea is sooo pretty🥺🥺

RSA- the kids tried burying Dian in the sand once. It did not work for obvious reasons. Also what if Mina added violets or cherry blossoms to Cherry’s hair? Idk what Mina’s favorite flower is but her favorite fruit is mangoes bc they’re the first thing she knew how to grow. She grew other stuff before that but it was out of her control and wouldn’t last too long. JT’s favorite flowers are sunflowers so Mina grows them on her mom’s birthday and Mother’s Day. Mina growing plants when she’s bored.

LMAOOOABDJFBA OHMYGOD dumbass children. AAAAAHH HELLO THATS SO CUTE🥺🥺 MANGO BEING MINAS FAV IS SOO CUTE WTF. ohhhh minas so cute she loves jt so much🥺

RSA- I mentioned the former existence of Skyler and the angel au reminded me of her bc she had blue wings. So what if after the lines between demons and angels have been blurred there are kids with more colorful wings. It does make it more dangerous since people would be able to tell that they’re half demon half angel instead of just a fallen angel or demon. Bianca being homeschooled was cut out since her mom already teaches at a school in this au plus there’s not the ch 18 trauma

OHHHHH half demon half angel skyler !! 🥺 and YA so glad ch 18 wasnt actually real🙄😩

RSA- Rowan passing her scarf down to Cherry 🥺. Cherry wearing it every year during the winter and showing it to her friends. Finn absolutely loves it. When did cherry get interested in baking? Baby cherry with her parents 🥺. When Mina was a baby, JT refused to let anyone besides herself and thistle hold Mina for the first few months. Penny, Tonks, and Chiara convinced JT to let them watch Mina so that Mina’s parents could take a break. It was the least they could do for their old roommate.

OOOOO THATS SO CUTE i need to draw that sometime. id say she tried baking when she was around five years old ! with help ofc. HEYDHSHDHHD jt is very protective of baby mina omgg🥺🥺 god bless the hufflepuffs watching over the baby

RSA- I’m glad you like the idea of brown eyed haywoods. I remember I sent in an ask to a different person about picturing Penny with brown eyes and someone reblogged that with an edit of brown eyed Penny. I was going to include a link to that in this ask but that didn’t work. (The edit was by theatricalasshole. He did a great job on it). Also I saw the tags in the last post and I’m so sorry about sending so many asks!! I would say it won’t happen again but I never shut up so that’d be a lie.

YESSSS brown eyed haywoods are beautiful !! and NOOOO DONT WORRY DHDHDHD i dont mind getting lots of asks but its just taking me so long to answer bc i get distracted so easily and i didnt want to keep u waiting😭

RSA- the school in the early years with Rowan as the only teacher and twenty students like those schoolhouses in the olden days. We both know the school gets bigger as more people teach/study there but the small, cozy nature of the early years. Students growing up and some of them teaching at the school when they’re adults. Students and teachers having positive memories of the school after they graduate or retire. Wait Rowan in dark academia aesthetic/ fashion 👀

SCREAMS the early years sounds so good ohh its so cozy. its what they deserve😩 some good safe education. and YEEEEESS WE LOVE TJAT A LOT

RSA- I’m looking through my old asks and I’ve sent over twenty ( it’s more than that the ones that were bunched together were counted as one each) so thanks for listening to all this, it’s totally understandable if you don’t remember something. Hell I have a bad memory too. I do like reading your responses to the different asks they’re v thoughtful. Do you have a favorite character or idea or whatever from this au bc if so I could come up with more hcs about them?

HDHDHHDHSHD thank u for understanding and YAAA SAME. DHSHHS im glad u like my responses lmao i try to engage with everything u said bc theyre all good takes !! well we all KNOW who my fav character is ( its rowan in case it wasnt obvious LMAO ) but i rly like hearing ab whoever u want to talk about !!

RSA- so this is gonna be the last of this specific bunch of asks bc I don’t have that many ideas rn. Mara w bat wings. Chiara has taken in at least two Wolf cubs (borf and Finn) so I feel like she’s the type to take in strays. Dian gets seniority amongst her roommates since she’s older than their parents (he lived between 1956-1970, so he died when he was fourteen). This is a joke but Ebony from my immortal as one of the music teachers. She bonds with Mara bc they’re vampires (half for Mara)

mara w bat wings yes !!! HEUDUEHHS i love that somuch for chiara. OHHH POOR BABY😭 now i have the hc that dian used to be friends with adels mom, cordelia ( shes indonesian ! ofc i had to make adel half indo LMAO ). or maybe dian and delia are related who knows😩 i think itd be funny if they were related bc then adel, an adult now, would see dian, a fourteen year old ghost, and realize hes related to delia and be like bloody hell youre my auncle. SJBDNDHDHJS i just think its rly funny LMAO.

NOOOOOOOOOO WHY IS EBONY HEREE DJFKAKFNND ohmyGODD😭😭 HEHDUDHSHDHJSHRJEJ ohmygdo but anyway. good for mara😌

[gg-astrology]

i love your blog! can you do a cap sun aqua moon for the sun moon placements?

Thank u so much!! 💕💕💕 I’m glad I got this request cause its the last of the Cap combos skdjnfkjsnk im so proud and excited! 💕

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Aquarius Moon 🥊]

Capricorn/Aquarius combo can be rather playful, might have lots of friends and enjoys mental stimulation from others (parrying)

It’s not all serious honestly-- on the outside, you have these combos who rather enjoys humour and being comfortable with laying it down thickly on others too (it’s good when you ‘sense’ them out and they can ‘take’ something a lil more unconventional-- your particular ‘niche’ brand of humour. You like surprising people, but you like chemistry/the way they parry back even more. A rhythm to your game is what you’re after, someone who can meet you toe to toe) 

You like people who are odd, a little different from you and can talk about their independency/experience when you get together. You like learning, about others because it expands your mind (Aquarius) and that’s good for you because you genuinely enjoy the company of those around you and appreciate them ( ‘good for you buddy, im happy/proud of you!’) 

While on the outside you may also be a practical, very very deeply considerate and thoughtful/caring person (the kind of person who-- if was in a horror movie-- would get their head together and be the one that Makes the Most Sense). On the inside you revel in your Chaos (Chaotic Nature)

There’s a reason Capricorn is associated to the devil, and no it’s because they are the devil--- it’s because you have this rebellious nature about you that’s lurking on the inside. Seeking to know, to find out, to question the norm/tradition. Everything can be changed ‘for the better’-- and with you, you have an understanding/appreciation of traditional modes already (Capricorn) thus why you’re breaking the system from the inside out. Or rather, you use your ingeniously to help smoothen the glide for others to see things from your perspective, that not eveything they’ve learnt/taken/been told is true and that there’s leaks in every ‘formula’ that people follow blindly. 

Even when above the surface, you are cool and collected as a cucumber (cutecumber-- you like to ‘keep appearance’ so you can be devilish/do your plotting inside) Underneath all that is a competitive spirit, especially when it comes to debates. 

If the venue allows you to exert yourself (physically/mentally) within a context that is structured/stabilized (established) and you can have a certain amount of freedom/expression of passion ---wow you really go in for it

Capricorn/Aquarius are intelligent, charismatic and isn’t afraid to be bold. Most of the time they aren’t even aware they’re being bold, they’re just following their own paths-- just like how everyone should follow their own, y know?

It’s stress relieving for you, to exert yourself into something. Throw yourself in and just ‘get it right’ -- when you’re demonstrative, you have power. And with that power comes confidence (other people see it as you being level-headed/critical) 

You might not realize it, but when you do something you get tunnel visioned into it a lot. And other people can see that and be attracted to your passionate nature ( a very classic, uniformed/looks good in official kind of nature) 

You’re often unaware of your own attractiveness or why people think you’re good, mostly you’re just doing it for you. And that’s all that you’re doing, sometimes you’re--- cynical, of people coming towards you wanting a light-hearted something. You need an explanation, a 10 pages essay outlining exactly what it is about you that people like. Although you know full well you attract people to you (might like the attention it brings, the importance/significance it gives to your ego-- which is healthy and valid, and not narcissistic or bad don’t worry, it’s important to feel appreciated and desired for everyone. )

Whilst we talk about all that, it jus means that you work hard and you don’t like to think yourself of ever stopping. Stopping means you become a ‘fixed’ motion-- and with that, you don’t know how to ‘start’ again.

Capricorn cardinal nature combine with Aquarius gives you two things--- you either workaholic it out or you stop and then take soo looong to start on something again. Because you’re careful, thorough, and want to know everything it entails before you start on it.

You want your passion to last, you don’t want to stop half way. You absolutely won’t stand for half-assery. And being incompetent in anyway is jus-- not up to par/unacceptable for you.

This is your ethic, both just outside and also your worth ethic. You’re a hard-worker, always focused on more/different/things you can grind and focus yourself in (there’s a bit of anxious/nervous energy in you if you don’t put yourself to work)

Your biggest ‘ugh’ moment is when you don’t have everything ‘prepared/ready’ -- especially if it ‘runs out halfway through’ -- you hate discarding things halfway. 

Wastefulness of time/energy/resource or expecting you to ‘come back and finish’ something with the same enthusiasm is now up to your mood/whether you have something new to add or not now.

There’s an element to you that can be quite?? Moody?? even though you’re emotionally consistent. It’s like feeling wise, you’re mostly just objective and detached sometimes (even though you’re fun-loving and caring towards others). You can get through things quickly, work efficiently. But if someone expects you to know how to be emotionally sensitive/flexible then you’re completely lost on that cue.

You can sometimes be completely oblivious to other people’s wants/needs from you, especially if it’s like-- emotionality. When someone needs/wants something you expect them to say it out-loud/directly, so when it’s hidden from you. And is expected to come from delicacy/tactfulness you’re like ‘um...what was I supposed to do?’

You like to be taught if you don’t know things, and you don’t understand how everyone else knows it intuitively. In a way, your intuition is crap when it comes to navigating the social realm (personal -- take note from Cancer/Leo). You mostly have your suspicion and critical/cynical nature that adds to your analytical skills. 

Learn how to ride a flow, a wave. Instead of sitting on the beach/stable ground all the time. You’ll have to get more in touch with your intuition, stops some part of your brain from over-working itself and making you stand at an ‘impass’ until you’re ‘ready’ to embark on a journey again.

Your overly thorough nature with how you approach/prepare for things makes you someone who skirts around a subject to ‘study’ it until you’re ready to ‘work on it/demonstrate/get into it’

Your motions (as mentioned before) are either ‘working’ (without thinking) or thinking too much (without working) -- no inbetweens.

Kinda short but sweet? 💕 I hope you enjoy it!! 💕💕

[prescxtts]

HEEYYY !! i’m so excited to be here omg.. i’m SOOO late as always but anyway.. i creeped on this before the revamp but never had the guts to join ?? i’m glad i did now tho.. anyway, hello, i’m mel.. 20, gmt+2.. so.. worst timezone probably. this is noah.. he’s a revamped character of mine under a diff name and i’m so happy to be playing him (sorta) again. i wrote a bit aobut him below and i’ll set up an actual bio page tomorrow since it’s like.. 4am.. AJSDFJKD

a HARRY STYLES lookalike just rolled into new york city in their ferrari. noah prescott just had a birthday bash for his twenty second birthday. i doubt he’ll make it here in new york city since i hear he tends to be abrasive, but on the other hand he is intrepid. ( cismale & he/him )

noah was born to a famous musician and the producer behind her success. his family was known in the entertainment industry for years and their legacy ran deep.

he obviously has a lot of responsibilities that come with having a last name like his and he has a lot to prove once he’s out in the spotlight.

his parents controlled his life growing up to a certain extent. they weren’t exactly strict .. not unless the family image was at risk. they had to ensure he’d still keep up with his school work and get the best grades while also keeping up with extracurricular activities and music lessons. in a way, they also picked out his friends for him which resulted in a lot of surface level friendships.

as long as he did everything they signed him up for, they pretty much didn’t care what his weekends were like? so they didn’t mind him going out to parties when he was old enough and coming home late or bringing girls home every night. they didn’t mind the alcohol and drug use either.. again, as long as he was sober in the morning and it didn’t affect his grades etc.. they really didn’t care. 

that eventually started affecting him when he realized he wasn’t getting any attention and his parents weren’t around for the important things. he wasn’t ever validated and he felt ignored most of the time.. like his needs and feelings weren’t a priority at all.

because of this, he started to rebel against his parents more and it’s surprising to them when it really shouldn’t be.. and it’s more so for attention and well, maybe to piss them off a little. 

like it fucks him up a little that his parents know little to nothing about him or his personality because they have a false image of him in their minds and they’re just now realizing that he’s not who they thought he was... and it just breaks his heart cause he doesn’t feel like he was ever really validated or accepted LOL.. it was always about the plan rather than what noah wanted to do/liked to do.. not once. but he’ll never say that out loud.

he kinda just changed entirely. if i had to put a label on him, it’d be the connard.

here’s another thing with his parents.. his dad cheats a lot and his mom KNOWS about all his affairs .. at first noah was confused.. didn’t know that she knew until his mom just casually brought it up in a convo and he was shook like.. u knew this whole time..

his mom loves appearing perfect and that’s why she won’t grant his dad a divorce because she wants a perfect looking family in the spotlight. 

the affair affected his mom more than his dad and so she turned a bit obsessed with noah’s career and which direction to take it in. it kinda became her next ‘project’ and she wanted to dictate everything pretty much.. down to what genre he’d go into.

that’s why he hasn’t released any music yet.. his mom wants him to do mainstream stuff but it’s truly not who he is as an artist and he wants to do what he pleases. she thinks his type of music is meaningless and obnoxious and quote on quote ‘non-profitable’ but he just wants to do something meaningful and stick to what he likes, rather than what would sell the most copies.

he still feels pressure being a prescott and deep down, it really makes him insecure.. he’s scared he won’t live up to people’s expectations and have a successful career like his parents. irrelevancy is his biggest fear basically. and though it always appears like he has it all together, he’s just exhausted from having soo much to live up to and sometimes wishes he could just step back from it all. 

he can come off as immature sometimes.. a bit incompetent even, but when he’s in the studio, he’s ready to give it his all and just overall, he’s really professional when it comes to his music. anything else? he pretty much has no interest in.. so he’ll continue to immaturely brush off.

personality wise.. he’s kinda bluster. he can be frustrating sometimes because he likes getting under people’s skin. he lives 2 provoke but hates being provoked LMAO.. will lash out if that happens.. he has a bit of a temper too.

he can be stubborn, thinking he’s right all the time etc.. even when he’s not. he says the wrong shit all the time tbh and it ends up hurting people bc he just doesn’t know how not to? sometimes he’ll do it on purpose if he’s trying to hurt someone. 

in his defense, he wants to be a better person. be kinder, softer but then again, he doesn’t know how. being an asshole has worked fine for him so far.

his parents weren’t really around for him when he was growing up when it came to important stuff and they never really discussed his feelings. they weren’t the kind of family to vent to one another or talk about their problems so he kinda just new to keep everything bottled up. that carried over to now and he just doesn’t know how to truly talk about feelings.. so he also is really bad if people come crying to him about stuff cause he’s just like .. huh.. tears make me uncomfortable .. 

ughghgh,.. my mind is all muddled rn and i have sooo much i wanna add and a lot of things to tweak in this but i’m getting tired and i have a feeling this is all over the place.. i’m sorry if it feels hectic SFJDKSJ i’m a mess.. he’s a mess ugh! whatever. if we’re plotting and i remember something suddenly i’ll let u know but for now... i guess we’ll see where he goes .

[patgomz13]

8/1/2021

Hi Tumblr. its been 2 months since we broke up and until now, I'm still hoping for her to come back. grabe akong undergo na depression lately and I bottled up all my emotion to myself. [Well technically nganung I share nako sa uban? who cares man sad :( ]. gi try nako to keep busy kay nagtraining ko sa salesforce - same sa iyang field but sometime sa akong kabusy, mahunahunaan gihapun nako sya.

gitry nasad nakog express akong feelings sa amoang very close friend hazel - I love her so much but I think I need to eventually stop expressing kay its not helping the situation anymore.

as my current mindset, compared to past breakups that I encounter from her. naay sudden shift and I feel tired about tolerating the toxicity. yes! I am officially calling it as toxic. but how to counter this one? I love Apple so much :'(

Toxic why? because everytime she initiate break up, she always rebut all the past issues. bisag wala koy gibuhat sa iyaha currently. I keep hearing peoples opinion about myself, I dont know unsa iyang gibuhat why people always have opinion about me but maybe this time I need to compose myself and dili na dapat nako e mind ang opinion sa uban. I dont know nganung cge syag pavictim around sa iyang friend, I just leave it to her.

in the past days na alone time nako. I keep validating myself that wala koy gibuhat na dautan sa iyaha. I have genuine intention and I love her unconditionally. I also eventually seeing red flags about her. things like.

1. 🚩 She keep on entertaining people bisag kabalo sya na nakagusto ang tao. - dili namn ni karun lng nahitabo. bisag kang raney day. same situation.

STORY : Last week, my HS friends invite me to a game called CODM. and when I add them one by one, I saw her on my online friend list and suddenly In game sila ni guy with the username - Bonamine which is si Jonas. yes! nahurt ko. kay nganu sad ko nagscroll ko sa history sa game niya. permi nlng sila in game until kadlawun. syempre pair jd nang discord ana. soo they are talking always. and workmate sila so always pd na sila in chat and huddle sa calls. pero anyways na hurt ko.

2. 🚩 pulling me sa akong past mistake. - Nganu man jd ni? dili naman unta ni ako. its been 7 years ago and the Patrick now is not the Patrick na from the past. Ive grown up. I eventually grow as a man, why bother pulling me from that. :( I leave it here nalng. its self explainatory.

3. 🚩 Taking for granted sa akong mga minimal acts for her - Yes, I am not romantic jd but if I love the person, gusto nako sila mahappy even for my simple act. I always remember unsa iyang likes and gusto niya ma achieve. I do a lot of effort para akong mahatud sa iyaha iyang gusto. matabangan gani nako ang uban tao sa ilang struggles, unsa nalng kaha sa iyaha. everytime makita nako sya na stress sa work, lutuan nko sya para maka chill sa sya kadyut. hug her on the back, trying to give her simple I love you and words of encouragement just give her the feeling that makaya rana niya. at night. bisag busy syag kuri2x sa iyang phone ug ako pd. marealize nako na I need to express it to her unsa nako sya ka love. I hug her every night, kissed her forehead and prayed for her success in life. pero I dont know aha ko nagkulang :(

4. 🚩 For the span of our relationship I am the most patient person. but nganung na feel nko na gakahurut nako? You know na permi jud mig bulag every year. healthy paba ni? with the same issue? naduggog na nako tanan Y*WA, pist*, manipulative, sadboii ka, wa kay pulos, wa kay future na tao buanga ka, mamatay na unta ka, insecure ka na tao, maypa si __ , f*ck you, bw*sit ka, abusive ka na tao ug unsa pana. [kana ra akong ma enumerate kay mao nang nitatak sa akoa], yes I forgive her everytime na iya na isulti nako pero It keeps dwelling to myself and eventually affected my faith, and belief to my self worth. cguro self explainatory nani sya.

5. 🚩 Always make me the bad person around sa iyang friends - di man nako sya masisi ani. pero feel nko dili healthy na cge nalng nimo ipagsigawan na unsa daw ko kadautan na tao. bisag wala nako nabuhat ug if nabuhat man gani nako. past na kaayu. and matalk nana namo way back before pa. pero I cant control unsa iyang gusto buhatun. naay certain guy na cgeg wisdom2x bisag wala sya kaila nako. yes! ok raman na kay lagi friend lagi. pero dili naman sad cguro na mag wisdom2x ka diha pero wa ka kaila sa giistoryahan. nakaremember ko sa giignun ni Apolinario and Igi sa akoa katung naka balo sya nagbulag mi [wa ko kahibalo nganung nakaabut sa ilaha ang news pero feel nko tunggod sa post2x sa fb na sad qoutes or unsa ba] pero ignun nya.

"kung unsa man gani inyung situation run. be strong and di man pwede na kung unsa akong naexperience pd di man applicable sa tanan basta just go with the flow, if nakasala ka, pag ask ug forgiveness and if ikaw nagpatigbulag, try to access first unsa imong nafeel and unsa ang situation, just be who u are and people opinion will not matter anymore. lahi2x ta"

and I feel blessed for the people around me. very mature and sincere advice jd. I also leave it here nlng pd.

6. 🚩 Ang kwarta grabe jud ka demonyo, nganung mag away mn sa kwarta. well akong principle, what mine is yours and whats yours is mine - just respect kung unsay willing ihatag based sa kakayanan rasad. gakahiubos jd ko permi everytime na maghisgut na sa kwarta kay lagi mas dako pamn sad syag income compare nako. laki bya ko. dapat ako magcarry sa amoa. ipamukha jd niya sa akoa unsa ko ka way pulos without knowing it. I just leave it here nlng pd.

uggg... sa akong past years na nilabay

1. Katung Raney days. soo devastating jud to sa akoa. grabi jud akong hilak atu na time. kanang feel nimo na nafeel betrayed kaayu ka. yes naa koy naingun na di mao just because I feel betrayed and cheated.

2. Nadungan pa nako sa usa ka friend niya na nanumbag ko bisag wala nako to nabuhat ever.

3. Gi pakaulawan ko sa Curb side sa Pabayo Hayes. ni pleasee ko sa iyaha na mag storya mi [nag away mi atu na time]. iya kong giwakli ug gishagit shagitan tapos pagka hulog sa akong chem book iya ra dayun ko gibyaan tapos sakay sa jeep pa uptown.

4. Sa tanan nako milestone sa life, permi sya absent :(, kana bitawng feeling na nagsabut mo and happy kaayu ko. tas gi indian ka or dili daw sya available kay gikapoy sya. grabi jud ko kamabaw ug kalipay. katung nihanggat akong fam na mag dine out with her para mag meet the parent na, pero di sya ganahan,katung first purchase nako sa akong new phone - Sony to sya. [Gihaguan bya nako so grabe jud ka sentimental] nag ask ko sa iyha to dine out para magcelebrate or unsa pero di daw sya kay kapoyan sya, sa akong pagka deanlist. nag ask ko na mag celebrate sa ta panalagsa, pero wala ghapun sya., sa akong graduation pictorial, wala pd sya kay kapuyan sya. balak unta nako eapil sya sa akong wacky post pic :(, tapos sa akong first employer - Logicbase, nag ask pd ko sa iyaha na magcelebrate pero di sya ganahan muadtu. ug dghan pa higayun, mao lng na ang nitatak sa akoa.

5. Ang mga pamalikas bai. grabi maka downgrade ug tao. grabi ka maldita jd. ok raman unta mag minaldita pero halos kaonon naka sa yuta sa iyang curse sa akoa. masabut namn guru na.

6. Mga labay2x ug gamit. she didnt even respect sa imong mga gamit. grabi jud ko ka frustrated atu na time kay kana bitawng feeling na tanan nimo gamit na ginaused currently is gikan sa imong hagu, dili na gikan sa parents? tapos in anaon lng. sakitan jd ko kaayu atu na time. kay gitagaan nkog value tanan nako gamit atu na time.

to be continued. I have to work on something

[riskeith]

HIIIIIII!!!!! omg!! it is i feel like i just sent my message minutes ago hehe, i’m so happy!

she is always cute you’re right!! honestly if i had to pick a fave character it would be her i love paimon soo much. her dialogue is always so entertaining. we don’t know anything about her we just saved her from drowning and she devoted her life to us. what a great gal. fun fact, i have the wolf’s gravestone sword on my original acc and all i need is diluc to have the most powerful dps.. can you imagine 😳

OH RIGHT omg.. tiny buzz haired cluna how could i forget. damn i guess you’ll have to take mine then 😔 rip. but i’m not complaining at All. does depop exist in aus? it’s a buy/sell thrift store app that has amazing things. if you don’t have any thrift store or secondhand stores i imagine that depop would work great. aside from being environmentally conscious there’s also a great amount of interesting looking clothes hehe. damn this sounds like a sponsorship hshskshsk. anyway check it out! YOU DID? but dark academia is like... slow songs bass boosted? AND OFC I HAVE and now that you mention it i can see that, those truly were academia vibes. (shskdhsk my school is very posh in that sense so i guess i just applied that to my own personal style)

it must be so annoying, like can you even eat those days after getting it? omg you should!! an ear full of piercings is a look tbh. especially since you have short hair too. I DO HAVE TATTOOS one on each wrist. i’ll show you some day i promise.. heh.. ;) i can give you hints of what they are; there’s a pokémon game called ___ and ____, guess! and yeah hopefully i’m getting one soon, i want to get a quote but i’m not sure what yet. that’s a very valid concern like you get to spend the rest of your life with your tattoos and it should be something you enjoy looking at and feel happy with jdjdkd.

there’s more than the two ruin guards? like i know there’s the guard and the other type i can’t remember... is there more? fuck... and yeah!! or making vines grow to captivate the enemy? or something like that? pretty cool.

BUBBLE TEA IS MY FAVORITE DRINK (even more than tea and coffee) i’m soooo obsessed with it cluna you have no idea. we don’t have a lot, literally one in the whole city, and they don’t make them that well but i’m still obsessed. have you ever tried coconut milk flavor? that’s my favorite aside from the basic tea one. wbu?

oooh! that’s valid! makeup is very time and money consuming to say the least. some brands literally want a limb for a lipstick so. and it’s easy to get obsessed and to want to spend more and more money to get products yikes. and yeah i do wear makeup when i leave the house. i used to have a lot of fun with it when i first started out but now i can’t bother to ‘explore’ anymore. i just do my basic routine and go on with my day. i have considered not using it as much bc i don’t find it fun anymore tbh. :// i just hate being so dependent on it, yk?

(AAAH??!! OK oh my gosh...... will do. god why did my heart just start racing i’m so nervous yet excited eee.)

oh, hopefully i get to hear from you again! biggest mwaaaah from yours truly <3

ikr what is happening today.. we’re just rapid firing back and forth ahaha

wow paimon the real mvp.. YOU HAVE WOLF GRAVESTONE ON YOUR OTHER ACC??? omg your luck.... i can imagine!! manifesting for u hfskjfd 

oh it does apparently... but that requires meeting up w people if you don’t wanna pay postage yeah? that shit makes me so mf anxious hhhhhhhhhhhhh. HAAHAHAH could you get me a sponsorship too 🤪 it is slow songs bass boosted???? i thought... im trynna think back now and i cannot remember.. i guess the vibes were too immaculate for me to care hfsdhkjs. i also tried to put in some hp vibes and i would’ve made it a hp au if not for the fact i know nothing about lore and shit.. (i lowkey want bakugou to be in ravenclaw which i know is very not normal sorting hfksjdhfksd. but could you imagine?) ((ooooooh fancy!! must be nice walking around and seeing everyone dressed up ahaha))

AREN’T ALL POKEMON GAMES ___ AND ____ FHSDKJHSKDFJS (i used X and Y as placeholders first and then realised.. isn’t taht literally a game too) but im guessing sword and shield!! wait did you use that just to give a hint or did you actually get it for the pokemon game hfksjdf. oooo a quote! bringing it back to roa AGAIN the author has said people have gotten The quote from the fic tattooed and honestly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i get it.

dragonspine has a new one!! idk if you’ve run into it yet? and the other one is called the ruin hunter lolol i. >:( angery at that one

:o!!!!!! rip omg..... never thought that i should be grateful for the 87583459 new boba shops popping up every other week. and ripppp no that sucks! i hope you get to try some real good ones some day!! and i’m sure i have.. i really like coconut! and i do like bubble tea but only the tea and not really the bubble? FDJHFKJSHFKDSJHS like they always put too many pearls for my liking and i can never finish them yikes...

yeah that really sucks :((( the beauty industry is a shithole LMAO (omg lmao beauty influencer youtube... the drama and apology videos fhks). hoping you find a happy balance with it/are able to become more independent from it soon!! <33

(FHJFHDSKJ im so excited too....... !!!!!!!) 

hugssssss!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[poppymadness]

asks bby 😚 i love u

@alwaysdrowninginfeels said:100 questions is fun

hopefully 100 questions is fun to read, love u guuyysss

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? soundcloud or spotify if i actually used any of these

is your room messy or clean? meesssyy

what color are your eyes? brown

do you like your name? why? uuh sure, i like that there’s a stone called amber idk it’s Nice 

what is your relationship status? 0 + 0 = 0

describe your personality in 3 words or less dumb, silly, somethin

what color hair do you have? brooownnn

what kind of car do you drive? color? don’t drive

where do you shop? i don’t consistently shop anywhere ??

how would you describe your style? i don’t have a consistent style i like multiple things fdhja, i rlly dig bomber jackets n ripped jeans tho bitch idk

favorite social media account idk if this is asking an account i love or what social medIA i prefer n just. the latter is twitter idk what to put here 

what size bed do you have? queen..? i think… idk bed sizes well..

any siblings? nope

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? mm don’t know

favorite snapchat filter? that fall one!! givin me the damn glasses and freckles n leaves falling idk why i like it so much dfjgad

favorite makeup brand(s) can’t answer….

how many times a week do you shower? …depression is a bitch averagely once or twice

favorite tv show? the walking dead, i guess

shoe size? 10 ½ i believe but that’s bc my feet are wide soo

how tall are you? 5′2″ a fuckin short ass

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? lol no

describe your dream date ok we can’t lie we know visiting a wolf sanctuary would be The One my dudes

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? i have no wallet and no money

what color socks are you wearing? i.. am not wearing socks ok

how many pillows do you sleep with? one or two usually

do you have a job? what do you do? nope

how many friends do you have? ultimately one hi ashley dhja love u cj i’m just goin with irl 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? iiidk i block out bad things i do and i also can’t remember anything before this morning lOL that bad

whats your favorite candle scent? ooh shoot idk, i’ve never had candles often anyways

3 favorite boy names ASHER, …brandon, uuumm idk david is nice

3 favorite girl names i don’t care as much.. djha imma skip it oops

favorite actor? bob morley is the go to my dudes

favorite actress? honestly?? danai gurira is precious 

who is your celebrity crush? dkja steven yeun fuck ya’ll he’s cute as shit

favorite movie? i guess i should still say manchester by the sea, i looove it

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? does the dream thieves count… can i say the dream thieves, second book to the raven cycle series. is that vALID

money or brains? brains but this is dumb

do you have a nickname? what is it? not rlly 

how many times have you been to the hospital? it’s been so long since the last time, i don’t think i’ve gone for anything major rlly ever

top 10 favorite songs imma just put the ones that are my recent obsessions instead and maybe u listen to em cuz they’re Good mm

letdown by nothing, nowhere

all the kids are depressed by jeremy zucker

lovely by billie eilish w/ khalid

dream by bishop briggs

dark side by bishop briggs

warrior by aurora

all i have by nf

10 feet down by nf ft. ruelle

mansion by nf ft. fleurie i think

outcast by nf

do you take any medications daily? no

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) uh dry

what is your biggest fear? i’m honestly like tired n a bit numb i can not comprehend fears

how many kids do you want? this is a future question for a future me if i think i want kids Later

whats your go to hair style? i’m more often in a ponytail than anything else ever

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small thin-walled apartment pls help

who is your role model? i honestly don’t think i’ve ever had one 

what was the last compliment you received? um probably ashley calling me cute at some point in time Recently

what was the last text you sent? kjdfa rp. for rp

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? fuck if i know probably around 10 or smth.. i could be way off

what is your dream car? if i drive a fuckin jeep wrangler bitch

opinion on smoking? mmm gross and just.. don’t smoke round me and we cool

do you go to college? gonna be lol fuck

what is your dream job? forensic dna analyst.. i guess

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no

do you have freckles? yeeaaaah

do you smile for pictures? occasionally Now

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 273

have you ever peed in the woods? ….no….

do you still watch cartoons? no

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? mcdonALDS holy shit i haven’t had wendys in years

Favorite dipping sauce? sweet n sour

what do you wear to bed? usually whatever shirt i wore for the Day n pajama pants 

have you ever won a spelling bee? fuck no

what are your hobbies? …video games?

can you draw? ……..questionable……..

do you play an instrument? oh hell no

what was the last concert you saw? crown the empire/warped tour july 2016.. sigh

tea or coffee? coffee !

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i’ve literally never had anything from starbucks

do you want to get married? um, debatable? depends on the person??

what is your crush’s first and last initial? i don’t have a crush rn

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if i do yh probably will

what color looks best on you? red doesn’t look bad? blue??? i don’t fucking know

do you miss anyone right now? ashleeey

do you sleep with your door open or closed? cloSED

do you believe in ghosts? not reeeaaalllyyyy but it’s.. a Concept dkjfa

what is your biggest pet peeve? i get really bothered by the sounds of someone eating dkjfa idk

last person you called? my mom, for 20 seconds, apparently

favorite ice cream flavor? i guess vanilla with chocolate chips iddkk

regular oreos or golden oreos? i. what the fuck are golden oreos?????

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainboooow

what shirt are you wearing? a crown the empire shirt…

what is your phone background? my lock screen is adam and my home… is zen…….

are you outgoing or shy? lmao shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? not like it happens often but it’s kinda uncomfortable bc most ppl try to run their hands through it like it’s straight haiR?? like that hurts pls dkjfad

do you like your neighbors? i don’t fucking know my neighbors

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? ,,,

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? not like piss drunk naw

last thing you ate? STEAK

favorite lyrics right now i think i actually have one but i can’t remember what song it’s from dkjfa

summer or winter? winter

day or night? NIGHT

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk but i like dark too…

favorite month? i don’t have one? march? june? november? dhfa choose from those

what is your zodiac sign pisces bitch

who was the last person you cried in front of? iiiii have no idea prob my mom from like Years ago, two or three years ago maybe 

[someobscurereference]

hey so i love your fe stuff! its soo good! but ive noticed that most of it is either gen or takes place after the relationships have gotten together (which is fine, i love that) but it did make me curious if youd be willing to share some of your headcanons (for odin/niles/leo, camilla/beruka/selena, and xander/laslow) for how they got together/developed feelings for one another? im very curious about your take on it bc i love your characterization! thank u so much for writing such beautiful fics

Aww, thank you, anon!! FE13/14 isn’t as popular as it probably once was and I definitely joined the writing fic for it part of the fandom pretty late, so I’m so pleased to hear that you enjoy my fics! Thank you!!

Secondly, anon….This is gonna be mega long and I hope you’re prepared for that, lmao (Also if you had any other questions or anything, don’t be afraid to send another ask!)

I don’t know if I have any “set in stone” headcanons for how any of these three pairs get together because I’m a multishipper who loves AUs, but if we’re talking about canon FE14 universe, I definitely have some thoughts as to how that’s going to go.

I’m gonna blabble a lot now

Odin/Niles/Leo

I actually feel like Odin would have the easiest time accepting dating people anyone, even if they’re a prince or a coworker or two people at once or he feels he has to travel to another dimension in a few years.

Like, he’s very? Pragmatic? Not necessarily 24/7 (because he loves to tell tales and exaggerate and roleplay) but Big Decisions. Like in Hidden Truths DLC, when Laslow and Selena are questioning where they should go when it’s time to leave Nohr–their home dimension with their family’s graves or to return to the world where their parents are still alive–iirc, Odin is the first one to say “We can worry about this later, we just have to deal with this now.” It’s not that he doesn’t care as much, because he super does, but I think he like? Compartmentalizes a little more? In the FE13 Future Past DLC, when he and Inigo are stuck on one side of the bridge and Brady and Yarne are on the other, Owain talks through what’s going to happen if they try to cross the bridge until he gets to the conclusion, “If you go and I stay behind, the most people in this scenario live and we still succeed, even if that means my death.” When Inigo cuts the brige with both of them on one side, Owain says, “We don’t both have to die!” Now part of this is Owain/Odin’s dramatic personality and the (probably unhealthy) self-sacrificing tendencies he almost certainly had during his years before jumping through time and even some time after, even Inigo acknowledges that Owain’s plan was probably the best way to get the gemstone to Ylisse (though not the best plan for Owain’s life.) He’s also the one who adjusts most to living in Nohr, by which I mean his homesickness and memories of Ylisse seem to weigh on him the least. While he admits to Selena in their Supports that he also is unable to sleep at night from his memories, Selena and Laslow’s Supports with him are more about their problems with missing home and he has become a kind of shoulder to lean on between the three of them.

Anyway all of this is basically evidence to say that Odin is pretty reasonable and levelheaded when not indulging in his imagination (which was almost definitely a coping mechanism of some kind in his younger years, though it may have become a bit more of an innocent hobby by the time he’s in Nohr… though I don’t want this to get dark, OTL)

ANYWAY! I think Odin is has the easiest time adjusting between all three of the Time Travel Trio, but I don’t know if he’s necessarily the one to make the first move in anything? If anything, it would have to be all three make a move at the same time (through some circumstance) or Niles/Leo get together first (even though Niles thinks his purpose in life is to “serve” Leo until he dies via their Supports and Leo probably wouldn’t want to put anyone in a weird position considering his status). I’ve written past stuff where Odin gets confident and does something bold like sit in Laslow’s lap and kiss him while Laslow bemoans never having a first kiss, and while I think Odin could catch onto moves being made on him and be down for it, I don’t think he’d be as likely to do something as bold as that for Niles/Leo like he would for someone he’s known years and years, like Laslow or Selena.

The thing about Niles is that… Idk, I don’t think he views himself as garbage? (Unless there’s a support I don’t remember.) But he definitely thinks of himself as “lower” than Leo, who he views as having saved his life and literally is the start to “good” memories in Nile’s mind. I’m not sure he’d ever make a move on Leo and compromise that relationship he values so highly unless it was something he felt Leo needed or something out of his control. (Like doing something to save Leo’s life and Leo is like “Hey do you have Feelings for me” and Niles, broken out in a cold sweat, hands shaking, answers “I mean Yes, but it doesn’t have to be weird…. unless u want that.” 

For Leo, I don’t think he really thinks about love unless it’s right there in his face. Either because he’s thinking about marriage for political reasons/someone else is getting married or because Niles/Odin is hanging around a lot and he’s like “What is this Feeling, it’s highly inconvenient but I cannot deny it exists”. (Also another thing about him is that he’s probably a little uncomfortable with Nile’s… Pedestal, I guess? For him. Like, he knows Niles values him a lot and vice versa but when Niles is like “You’re the reason my life is good and I will serve you until I Die For You,” Leo is like “I don’t know what to say but I guess ‘Thank you’ is the right response.” So he probably wouldn’t want to take advantage of Nile’s feelings either.)

(The thing about all the Royal Nohrian Sibs is that they are under the watchful eye of Garon for most of their life, and that’s a huge influence on what they are or aren’t willing to do in terms of romance until the Big Slime is no longer an issue for them. So that’s a major factor as well.)

I think Niles and Odin make a great team, but Niles is initially very suspicious when Odin/Selena/Laslow show up out of the blue and even when he trusts Odin later on, he does use that suspicion as a little jab on Odin’s origins in their C-Support when they’re having an annoyed argument. They both apologize to each other later with Odin conceding that Niles was right and his actions weren’t out of line, and while Nile’s is like, “Aw, I shouldn’t have done that, Lord Leo trusts you and that’s enough for me,” the secretiveness of Odin’s past is like. An undercurrent in their relationship on both their parts for a long time. (While meanwhile Leo does not give a single fuck what you did or who you were before you met him so long as he knows what kind of person you are now.)

So with all this I can absolutely see Niles and Leo getting together and Odin being supportive from the sidelines for a Long Time as Niles/Leo either pine a little secretly (maybe separately) or they don’t really realize their own feelings for Odin or the idea all three of them could be a thing until later. (Bc Odin is not gonna intrude on something he feels he shouldn’t and when it’s a better idea not to.) (However, if that opportunity appears and everything is Chill, Odin is absolutely Hell Yeah, down for it.)

(This didn’t really come up anywhere before but? Leo and Odin’s supports?? Are so Much????? Like, Leo doesn’t want to send Odin out on any more “adventures” he used to because according to Leo: “uh that was to be a dick to you and I literally Cannot imagine living without you now because you’re so Valuable to me, so you can’t go on any Mega Dangerous missions, sorry.” He says he wont’ keep Odin from being his own person and leaving Nohr but that he honestly wishes Odin would stay and if he does leave, all the victories afterwards will be a little “bittersweet” without Odin there. Also if Odin does leave, Leo asks that he use his title as Leo’s retainer still so there will always be that “connection” between them. 

Like??? Holy shit??

It was here that Leo struck me as the type of person to want Niles and Odin by his side literally Forever in whatever form that relationship may be, even if nothing romantic ever comes from it.)

Camilla/Beruka/Selena

My girl!! Selena!!! I love her!!!! I’ve probably written the least about Selena (I have like one unfinished Selena/Laslow/Odin fic on my computer and that’s probably it besides maybe a tiny Selena/Noire thing I wrote 2 sentences of and never finished either) but!! I think about her a lot and I love my girl!!

I rambled a lot with Odin/Niles/Leo so to cut to the chase here a bit more, Camilla/Beruka/Selena probably comes from Selena’s need to be validated and prove that she’s the Best. Camilla always reassures Selena that she’s “darling, powerful, and obedient,” which are qualities Camilla values a lot in a retainer. I think Camilla, for all her ruthlessness, also has a lot of love in her heart and so she is a little smitten with Selena (and Beruka) from the start because of these qualities they share. Camilla gets melancholy when she thinks about how Selena might leave her one day and wants Selena to know she is Camilla’s. I don’t think Camilla would ever do or say anything about her feelings while under the watchful eye of Garon because she’s not stupid and she knows what will happen if she tries to get too close to anyone while he’s within reach, but she’s not lying. When she says she loves Selena and Beruka, she really does mean it, even if her meaning gets lost in the context of all the other times she says she loves Corrin and Elise and her other siblings and such. 

(As a side note, Camilla and Selena’s C-Support is so fucking funny to me because Selena is like “hey I’m your favorite, right?” and Camilla is straight up like “I would rather murder you than you leave” and Selena’s like “that’s not….what I wanted you to say…”. Camilla is so fucking Extra??? I love it. Though she’s honestly very scary too, so that element of humor is one I’m taking with grain of salt because Camilla is also truthful in her violence. Their B-Support is similar.)

This same drive to be the Best is what causes Selena and Beruka to butt heads in their C-Support, but they show they understand each other well by calling out each other’s complexities and flaws while arguing. Later, they show they care about each other by apologizing in the B-Support, and it’s shown for all her emotionless attitude, Selena can get Beruka to smile the tiniest bit while supporting her and telling Beruka that she should do the things she loves, even if that thing is work, and that Selena is her friend. (Beruka’s questioning of “Should I really bury myself in my work?” also shows that she took Selena’s earlier words of “What even makes you You if all you do is your work/only do things for money?”. So Selena’s views do impact Beruka.)

I’m rereading their A support right now and?? It’s so sweet? Selena wants to get matching jewelry for all three of them as a symbol of their connection (and for when Selena leaves) and Beruka accepts this, despite Selena requesting she not get something that doubles as a weapon, and also says she wouldn’t wear the matching jewelry if Selena were gone because it would be “lonely” and she’d only wear it if Selena were there so she wouldn’t lose it. Like? They value each other a lot. Beruka indulges Selena in this and by extension says she’s “enjoying” herself as well–something Beruka rarely does at all. 

Beruka is a little more hesitant around Camilla, but that’s likely a response to Camilla being her employer and Beruka placing so much value in her work. It’s a complicated situation for someone who isn’t as casual as Selena or Odin are with their Lord/Lady. Beruka admits she would betray Camilla if offered something better from another employer, but that possibility is so unlikely because she doesn’t think she could find anyone she trusts as much as Camilla. For an assassin, trust is a big deal. Camilla is a huge part of Beruka’s heart even if Beruka doesn’t recognize it the same way someone else might. Camilla, on her part, is pleased but orders Beruka not to throw herself away in the process because Beruka means a lot to her. Their relationship is a bit different than Camilla and Selena’s or Selena and Beruka’s because of their unique dynamic and how seriously Beruka takes herself. Camilla is somewhat less affectionate when alone with Beruka, most likely because it makes Beruka uncomfortable. The affection is still there; Beruka just doesn’t yearn for it as much and so Camilla backs off a bit. Beruka is very truthful about the realities of life–both Beruka’s job and how she’ll probably stick with Camilla forever, even if she doesn’t explicitly say so. They’re good. 

I’m getting off track again, sorry. I love character analysis. ANYWAY!

Camilla/Selena/Beruka would probably get together all at the same time because Camilla wouldn’t want anyone to misunderstand or feel left out (even if Beruka would insist she didn’t feel anything about it, she probably would.) Selena would probably push about being the Best Retainer again and Camilla would say something like, “Oh, but I love you both equally” and pull Beruka and Selena close. Selena would probably grumble something like “but do you really?” or “but who do you love more?” or something, letting a little jealousy take hold. Camilla probably wouldn’t stand for this, both on the basis that she loves them equally and that this has been probably going on for years. 

To be honest, I could see them kind of… falling into it. Like Camilla kissing Selena’s forehead or cheek, leaving a big lipstick mark behind and while Selena sputters, face red and brain reeling, Camilla does the same thing to Beruka.

“Wha–What’s that supposed to mean?” Selena asks, eyes rolling in her head and steam coming from her ears.

“I told you,” Camilla says simply. “You are both my precious, darling retainers.”

Beruka, eyes closed in thought: “Hm.” 

And before anybody can do anything else, Camilla’s like, “okay, chop-chop, we have things to do, people to kill” and they just go about doing their daily jobs and fighting battles. And anytime Selena or even Beruka tries to question it, Camilla’s like, “I told you, I love you both” and kisses their cheek again. Eventually maybe Beruka and Selena talk a little among themselves, but honestly I really see them falling into it after that. Kissing their foreheads every time they separate (never the mouth in the beginning, unless Selena or Beruka initiate because this isn’t supposed to be a pressured thing). Selena and Beruka heading off to their own rooms at night and Camilla telling them they can stay with her if they want. Selena’s a bit rowdy, but I think she’d be content with starting off like this just because it’s Camilla. (She might confront someone if anyone else tried to pull this move.)

(I take most C-A Supports for all party members as having really happened in-game eventually, so this might even be after Beruka’s support with Odin where he tries to help her understand her own emotions through mimicking facial expressions and looking within herself and stuff via lying about magic spells. So Beruka might discover a bit more about herself here too, like “Hmm, is this what love feels like? It must be.” Even though she’d probably been feeling it for a while and not recognizing it.)

Xander/Laslow

The thing about Xander/Laslow is that while Camilla and Leo have varying levels of more freedom between the two of them, Xander is The Crown Prince. He’s the one to take the throne. He has do what’s best for the people, and he’s always going to put Nohr before himself. On the flipside, Laslow is a flirt but he knows how fickle life can be and often laments the fleeting connections between people as they only have a short time in this world (he gets super melancholy in some of his supports; he hides his sadness a lot but it’s there), and I don’t think he’d want to jeopardize his relationship with Xander or put him in a bad position either. Plus, he’s super-duper homesick, so he wouldn’t want to start anything he felt he couldn’t finish either. 

I really think there’d have to be a big catalyst for their relationship to begin. One of two things probably has to happen.

1. Something really relieves Xander of his pressures as King and makes him relaxed enough to maybe request a kiss or courtship from Laslow one day, if/when Laslow ever feels he wants it, no pressure (though I don’t know what this event would be; Xander feels LOT of responsibility. Duty chains him more than anything. Even if he feels mentally exhausted by everything and restraining his feelings on top of that, he’s always going to be stuck unless something forces him to move or slackens that grip.) (Laslow, in turn, is also chained by what he feels is his obligation and memories to return to Ylisse some day, so he’s stuck a bit too.)

2. Like in Home (Is Where The Heart Is) (spoilers), Xander realizes if he doesn’t do something, he will lose Laslow forever In This Moment, Right Now and (as this is a huge fear) Goes For It via Kiss of Life or pouring his feelings out. (I really think Xander is the type of person to make huge declarations of devotion and love while Laslow melts into a huge blushing puddle in the corner while crying from being overwhelmed.) 

They would mutually pine. A Lot.

I’ve written a lot less for them but I’ve written so much already and I think at least one of these two events are really the needed qualifications for a Xander/Laslow relationship to happen in canon universe. (There are other AUs on ao3 that are super good and probably do a better job of imagination than I will here, so :p)

All three relationships probably have an undercurrent of Devotion For My Lord/Lady because they are all retainers/royals first and foremost and jobs come first, but that’s an interesting dynamic to work around in itself. 

Even if were only friendship between them all, I really like how Odin/Selena/Laslow are so willing to say, “MY Lord/Lady is the best one!” (I’m mostly thinking of the Beach DLC where everyone fought for that beach trip, whether or not their Lord/Lady wanted it.) They love the Royal Nohrians so much, no matter the context. 

(RIP Me, this is super long and I just spent the last 2 hours writing it. If there was anything you wanted me to expand on, let me know! I’m a blabber mouth.)

[beefstew252]

i was tagged by @davidbowie69​ to do this time- consuming tageroony

(answer 92 questions and tag 20 ppl)

the last

1. drink: water cuz im basic

2. phone call: mi amiga ella

3. text message: “ehehhehehehehehhe with like a million laughy face emojis cuz im too awkward to live”

4. song you listened to: telephone line by ELO

5. time you cried: probs last night when i cried myself to sleep or yesterday when i watched life and was too scared so i leaked from my seeing crevices

have you

6. dated someone twice: never even been on a date whoops im a loooser

7. kissed someone and regretted it: lhehehehehe my mommy

8. been cheated on: friend wise- yes but not like in relationships lol im not kewl

9. lost someone special: mhmhmhmhm i move everyday and am unlovable soo not a good combo

10. been depressed: lol yup yup yup everyday but i cover it with smiley face stickers and sprinkles

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: mayyybbeeee when i accidently drank a bunk of mikes hard lemonade hehehhhhehehe

list 3 favorite colors

12. yellow

13. mintish green

14. sky blue

in the last year you have…

15. made new friends: @davidbowie69​ i love my mommm 

16. fallen out of love: nope im always in love with everyone ever

17. laughed until you cried: EVERYDAY im a giggly person tbh

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really but i constantly feel like my friends talk about how horrible i am sooooo same difference 

19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet tbh <3333333

20. found out who your friends are: i think maybe if they actually love me as much as i love themmmmm <333

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what even is face book tbh

generale

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: girl i dont understand this booking faceeeee

23. do you have any pets: my dear pet rock mildred and her associate mr pebbleton (but i wanna doggo so badddd)

24. do you want to change your name: nah m8 sofia is fineeee af i think

25. what did you do for your last birthday: 4 days agooo hmmm i slept in and had avocado toast like a true millennial and went to the grocery store with my mom lol and then went to my fav place in the world an art store then had cake and watched life which was horrifying twas pretty fun

26. what time did you wake up: 10ish but usually like afternoonish whoops

27. what were you doing last night at midnight: i was watching the OA which was actually amazin tbh

28. name something you can’t wait for: WINNING THE PRESIDENCY WITH MY VICE PRES KANYE IN 2020 HONESTLYYYY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just now when she told me to do the laundry

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had stayed in one place and had real, true friendships

31. what are you listening to right now: build me up buttercup- the foundations

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no not really???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: constantly thinkin im not good enough and some “people” i know heh

34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix and gmail tbh

lost questions. i just put in random info about me

wow op was a little bitch--- keepin this in thx ellie

35. moles: yes but theyre outside and probably have rabies and are blind af and no longer are in my backyard---- jkjk yea i do tho

36. marks: everywhere on my ugly af self

37. childhood dream: i wanted to be a squirrel when i grew up sooo

38. hair color: dark brown

39. long or short hair: short shoulder lengthish??

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah everyone i meet ever 

41. what do you like about yourself: my curly af hair and strangely large energy reserves (gracias mitochondria)

42. piercings: ear piercins

43. blood type: idk man but i hope its the kind from that episode of doctor who with the aliens and they controlled u with blood or somethin and david tennant lost an arm it was wild

44. nickname: sofie, sofie dofie, didi, olaf, mr. f@#*ing compassion, slink, softpants once again, sof fresh, coneybear? leaf?, ronnie, macaronnie, charlie kelly tbh

45. relationship status: hahahahahahahahahahaha

46. zodiac: cancer, (yes i know im a crabb dont make funna me)

47. pronouns: she/her also ultimate supreme ruler of 7M tbh

48. favorite tv show: stranger things, its always sunny in philadelphia, parks and rec, the office, tbh the new show i just binged yesterday called the OA, friends, etcetcetc

49. tattoos: nope i have a very low pain tolerance

50. right or left hand: right im bland af

51. surgery: yea my poor eye lol ive had like 3 on that one alone whwhwhw

52. hair dyed different color: no id look like a uglier potato

53. sport: competitive cloud watching

54. *GASP* there is no spoon…there is no question 54…………………….  ………………………..hey remember those wayside school books because i sure do------ also keepin this im unoriginal and still dont understand tags lol

55. vacation: the moon

56. pair of trainers: white superstar adidas or grossly dirty “white” converse cuz im basic once again

plus generales

57. eating: i just ate strawberries and a grilled cheese sandwich sooo

58. drinking: w a t e r ---stay hydrated mis amigos

59. i’m about to: host the most lit party in the world tbh (mario kart and pizza binches)

60. *bo burnham voice in my head, for some reason* it’s not real. time is an illusion.------ im lazy do u see a trend????!?

61. waiting for: my next trip to the northeast cuz i miss it

62. want: a real friend tbh.        also *dr evil voice* 1 MILLion DOllaRs

63. get married: yup and i agree with the bae on “why couldn’t this have been question 64 because when i’m sixty four by the beatles is also the best song ever sooooo”

64. career: eww the future i h8 probs an astronaut so i can fly into the void

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: AWW ILL TAKE ANYTHIN

66. lips or eyes: eyes who even looks at lips eww theyre like chapped and stuff

67. shorter or taller: short lil bean or tall beans everyone is valid

68. older or younger: all the ages?

69. yOU hAVe GOt To bE KiDdINg ME wHY is 69 SKipPeD--- gracias por las cosas

70. nice arms or nice stomach: eww nice personality honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive like me hehehehhee

72. hook up or relationship: relationshippppp<3 if any soul could stand me for longer than a day

73. troublemaker or hesitant: ??????? i like robbie rotton

have you ever…

don’t we need tequila  apple juice for this part

74. kissed a stranger: no but today i made a snarky comment quietly about a kid who was smoothie drinkin and bikin and we made solid eye contact for like 30 secs sooo same difference

75. drank hard liquor: i licked vodka once it was gross and i almost threw up

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: jason sat on and broke my glasses once so same thing

77. turned someone down: yeah the monster livin in my drawer tried to take me to the movies once and i was like BOI UR A MONSTER LIVIN IN MY ROOM COME ON

78. sex on the first date:   eWWWWWEWWewewewewwwwew

79. broken someone’s heart: hah no one has ever liked me in the history of the human race sooo

80. had your heart broken: everyday

81. been arrested: im what the police call “an angel”

82. cried when someone died: every time my fav character died or any other time im an emotional lil bean honestly

83. fallen for a friend: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehhehe

do you believe in…

84. yourself: eww no i suck

85. miracles: one time someone said i was pretty 

86. love at first sight: yes i’m certain that it happens all the time STEALIN IT ELLIE SOZ NOT SOZ

87. santa claus: yes yes yes 

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmmmmmmidkman

89. angels: me

other

man, op really ran outta ideas here

90. current best friend’s name: none of my “best friends” think im their best friend too soooo no im a lonely person but if i had to say somethin itd be russell crow(e?) as javert tbh

91. eye color: poop brown

92: favorite movie: all of them but also good will hunting, cinema paridiso, life is beautiful, dead poets society, breakfast club, 16 candles the list goes ONNNNN man

well, it’s been real

i tag vlad putin and jeff