#also u can kinda tell i went on a bit of a humans are space orcs binge here oops

[spicyvampire]

Man, I cannot stop thinking about Chalothorn coming to save Tharn and listening to Tharn when he asked to not kill Montree (and u know it's serious cuz i'm using his actual name)

Like that is when Tharn understood what he had to do to break the curse isn't it? Like this is when he went from grieving having to leave and accepting it because he knew what he was going to do while he was gone and he didn't know if it was going to work but he was going to try like this is a man with determination right there, like he isn't only looking at Montee he also has a goal in mind

and I feel like talking about this process Tharn went through but also just going through the trio's "character descriptions" as in Chalothorn being a fighter (maybe not talk about Chalothorn in this specific post I want to give him a whole post for himself), Wansarut/Tharn being an healer/protector (mediator?) and Sakuna/Phaya being a fighter (somewhat a little bit of a protector Wansarut/Tharn kinda rubbed off of them akasghjsgajhad like literally) and also just talk about power levels and who would match who in a fight and how that affected Tharn's decision or something idk we will see

Disclaimer : pulling all of this completely out of my ass from watching the show but it makes sense to me, might not make sense to anybody else cuz these are just raw out-of-order thoughts

I think I'll put everything under a keep reading cuz I know We about to spend an hour on this cuz this is taking too much space in my brain and I got school assignments to do so we just gonna throw it up right now

WANSARUT

Let's start with the fact that Wansarut is a healer/protector (and a mediator of some sort maybe? idk) like from the get go you got Wansarut saving Sakuna and healing him, simply because Sakuna was still alive (ep 8)

Like they are enemies at that point??? and what if Sakuna decided to kill Wansarut when he got better? And you can see that Sakuna does not understand Wansarut's actions cuz like they are enemies! That is a big risk Wansarut took simply because he was still alive, because it's not in Wansarut's nature to just sit there and watch someone die, whether they are from the enemy side or not, and Wansarut tells Sakuna to leave as soon as he feels better too, because Sakuna is clearly in Naga territory and it's dangerous for him there, and Wansarut didn't ask anything in return until Sakuna proposed it, and what Wansarut asks is just so goddamn UUUGHHHRBSGUYAHFG [tv static noise]

I literally do not know how to describe it but like Wansarut has an entire Garuda that is the literal Garuda king's brother saying he will give Wansarut anything as a favor because Wansarut saved him and Wansarut asks for peace between their people??? That's why I was like Wansarut is kinda a mediator, also later Wansarut says this

Really showing even if Wansarut would be happy with Sakuna, this situationship they got going on, Sakuna's presence in these woods, could make the war both of their people are living worst, and Wansarut do not want to cause harm, it would go against Wansarut's healer/protector nature

Also random sidenote : the way Wansarut talks the human world and about that Naga legend of a Naga turned human that wanted to be a Monk, is such a benevolent and loving god way of talking, also the fact that Wansarut is showing this whole part of Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon) to Sakuna an outsider??? a literal enemy of Wansarut's people???? mind fucking blowing if you ask me

THARN

Ok enough about boyprincess time to talk about babygirl Tharn and how Wansarut's healer/protector (mediator) nature translated to him

Let me start with the fact that Tharn almost never attacks anyone first, and is always ready to put his gun down, and literally never shoot if he doesn't have to, let's just take a look at how fast he put his gun down in ep 12 and the fact that he didn't just shoot Montee goon in the back which gave him the time to disarm Tharn

Also when he could have literally shoot Narong possessed by Chalothorn back in episode 5, the coast was clear Phaya was out of the way and Narong was attacking Phaya so he had "reasonable" reason to just shoot the guy, like hell they even made eye contact and Narong (Chalothorn) just fully ignored him cuz he knew Tharn was not gonna shoot and Tharn really just didn't shoot

And don't get me started on the fact that Tharn took that stab for Phaya i'll be here till next year like!!! All that was in his mind was protecting Phaya and if he get hurt doing it so be it, which is literally exactly what his past self did, they will protect what they love, whatever the cost

Like it almost doesn't make sense that Tharn is a cop in this lifetime because of his healer/protector nature, if they still were making him a first responder, it would have made more sense if Tharn was a paramedic or something, but because his parents were killed it and he had to get justice for them he was knocked off the typical healer/protector path slightly, but he was still doing his cop job like he was a healer/protector (which is what cops should be tbh. but that's another discussion), like i wouldn't be surprised if Tharn's other reincarnations were in the medical field in some ways (but again how do you tell this story if they aren't in the same field of work? that's another problem innit)

SAKUNA

Unfortunately I gotta stop talking about babygirl Tharn and talk about our resident bird

Sakuna is fighter first and foremost like there is no questioning that, but I think he is a level lower than Chalothorn, like Sakuna is a high ranking soldier, probably his brother's right hand man but both time Sakuna tried to fight Chalothorn he lost, first time he was hurt very badly and Wansarut had to heal him, second time cost him and Wansarut's life and that's how the cycle started

And it honestly doesn't look like he match Chalothorn's powers even in garuda form, I think the garuda that would match Chalothorn would be Sakuna's brother (ep 12), unfortunately Sakuna would never get to a level where he could win since he died, and just keep dying every reincarnation after that, and I assume he just keep dying before he reach his full powers

But anyways by the end of Sakuna's life he wasn't only a fighter, you can see he genuinely was worried and wanted to protect Wansarut and he didn't care for his brother's war all that much, he did fight but that was to prove his love

And that's kinda beautiful isn't it? that's the effect Wansarut has on people Wansarut is close to and that's honestly the most powerful talent, like more powerful than the actual magic Wansarut can do

PHAYA

Phaya bird man extraodinaire is yet again a fighter (soldier) in this life, quite literally in the investigation team, but you can see that he has leadership qualities real early on (ep 2)

He is honestly a natural leader and I'm sure Sakuna was too, but on the powers side, his garuda powers like dormant/just under the surface this whole series, the best we get are little sparkles (ep 5 + ep 12)

His best qualities : his sparkles

Sidenote : let me just mention how protective Phaya is of Tharn, guy put his whole body over Tharn when there is a blast near, he is always in front of Tharn when they are fighting, not just episode 12 but simply all the time, like both time we saw his sparkles were related to protecting Tharn in some ways, like this man has a very fighter way of being a protector

But anyways my little birdy you are doing amazing tweety and I love you, but like how is he supposed to fight this fucking thing with goddamn garuda sparkles????????????

Well the answer can only be that he was never supposed to fight it. Like let's think about this for a sec, every goddamn reincarnation before phayatharn died why do you think? well idk but I can at least say for certain Sakuna and Wansarut died because Sakuna chose to fight. Literally every goddamn time this shit has always gone down south and we can assume it is because they fought Chalothorn. Fighting was literally NEVER the answer, but they kept doing it and honestly isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results???? They've tried Sakuna and Chalothorn's way and the only thing it got them, is them both killed in all their past reincarnations and Chalothorn being honestly one reincarnation kill away from turning into a Naga forever

Also like sidenote : there is no sign of Tharn's Naga form, like what we got from Tharn are some somewhat powerful sparkles but you can't seriously tell me he can fight Chalothorn literal king of Nagas with that, like the sparkles were only there to protect Phaya, Tharn/Wansarut were never meant to be fighters (ep 5), like even with Phaya and Tharn's powers combined it wouldn't work tbh

Problem is, this whole situation with Tharn's parents dying and people Tharn love dying did make Tharn forget who he was, so much suffering and hurt and grief from a young age can change a soul, Tharn was looking for justice for his parents and frankly was kinda impulsive and reckless about it, and thats why the abbott's role in this show was so goddamn important, he was here to remind Tharn of who he is (the lion king simba and mufasa style REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE), and that is a healer, a protector and a mediator first and foremost, he even said this in episode 3 and he is right Kindness is Tharn's biggest weapon (and Phaya's btw because Sakuna's soul has changed a lot over the courses of reincarnations and he is such a sweetie, that is until Chalothorn walks into the room)

FINAL

bro where was I even going with this? Idk but back to Chalothorn listening to Tharn in episode 12, I think that's when Tharn got a declic as to what the abbott meant by all of his mediation and precepts stuff, Tharn understood then that first of all Chalothorn is not only a killer, the person he has known all these years that cares about him and his wellbeing is there, he literally came to Tharn's rescue twice, in ep 11 when Tharn was falling off the cliff and with Montee in episode 12, the problem is you cannot talk calmly to Chalothorn with Phaya in the room, it's just never going to end well, you put those 2 head strong (mostly) fighters in a room and all hell break lose and people literally die

So Tharn knew he had to leave, but this time, in contrary to the end of episode 11, he had a purpose, the purpose was to change Chalothorn's mind from the inside, because Chalothorn's has show signs of caring and kindness (again he probably got that from hanging out with Tharn tbh), but Tharn didn't know if that would work, he didn't know if he was going to be able to come back to Phaya, and that's why he was saying goodbye like that

That's why it felt like, contrary to episode 11, this goodbye from Tharn had an air of acceptance of his fate, because he knew it was his time to go and fight for his and Phaya's love, but this time he was going to do it his way, and that way is with kindness, love and empathy, like the healer/protector that he is

[lilyvines]

VV, any fic recs?

yeah! i have a whole #fic rec tag, and i have a tag called #fic talk where i just like. talk about fics i liked, usually in a more casual way, so you can check there if you're curious!

here's some more fic recs tho :D

Scary Dog Privilege by ScumbagSimon

humans are space orcs, with human!tommy and alien!sbi. pretty much all lighthearted and sbi fluff. tommy gets kidnapped in space and sbi comes across him and tries to help him. very fun, and i am a big believer in fic where tommy gets to be a little bit batshit. as a treat (~5k, finished)

How Much Earth Do You Carry In Your Lungs by Dragonire

more humans are space orcs, but this one has more plot than the other one! human!tommy gets kidnapped and trapped in a cell and eventually meets alien!wilbur, who thinks tommy is totally gonna kill him. bamf tommy, awesome action scenes, and some really interesting worldbuilding that isn't dumped on you! i like this one a lot, and it's part of an ongoing series (~17k, finished)

guided evolution by fathermooshroom

a tommy spiderman au! very relevant since he was invited to the nwh premiere and all. tommy is spiderman in london, and everyone else is along for the ride. there's a huge cast in this one, many with important roles, and even though it's long, it sucks you in very quickly, especially if you like spider-man! (~210k, unfinished)

If we don't leave this town, we might never make it out by grasstastic

wilbur is leaving town by himself, but his plan is halted when he finds tommy stowing away in his van. modern au with some wonderfully written characters, and character dialogue. please check tags! (~35k, finished)

One Day I Met God (Turns Out, He's an Idiot) by Sunshine_3

human!tommy and gods!sbi who think tommy's the most endearing guy ever. tommy enters in a contest to win the favor of the gods, mostly just because he thinks it would be funny. this one has more action and plot than you would expect, but it's a very fun read, plus all canon characters are portrayed as nice people (~33k, finished)

in memoriam by hoorayy

a semi-canon compliant angst/character study about sapnap and wilbur, mostly focused on how sapnap loved l'manburg. very good, a little sad (~2k, finished)

All Hallow's Eve by Doodleboo

semi-canon compliant fluff! so much fluff! features mostly bee duo, but it has tons of other people, and we get to see uncle tommy with micheal :D i know it's a little late to read a halloween oneshot but shhh it's fine it counts and i like it (~10k, finished)

bonus!

Guitar Strings and Keyrings AU by Anonymous (@/ceakip here on tumblr)

my fav sbi foster fic! ive recced this one before but a new wilbur pov oneshot just came out and i like this series a whole lot :D check tags tho!

Ours Poetica by zeeskit

a very sad sbi modern au, with sbi being a broken family, and tommy being a poet. very beautifully written, very sad. ive recced it before but its good (~49k, unfinished)

Cheater, Cheater by mangoball

i will say right off the bat: this is a twitter fic. like it is posted all on twitter in the form of fake screenshots (its a social media au). its a crack dnf fic but it's also the funniest thing ive ever read, and probably entirely satire. its so funny and will leave you in tears, plus it has another part coming out for the holidays! (finished)

[l0v3tast3]

can we have more hcs w young!reader :o they were so cute, do u think you could write like sparring w them or something, ty!!

✎ of course omggg <3 i love this concept whenever i see anyone else write this kind of thing with platonic young reader i eat that shit up !!! also merry christmas and happy last day of hannukah to all who celebrate!!

✎ tags : gender neutral!reader, written with 19 y/o reader in mind, all platonic relationships, fluff, young!reader is stereotypical gen z kinda, this is probably the most light-hearted thing i've ever written but there's separate angst at the end because i can't stop myself, as usual it's not really proofread

♡ so of course it takes awhile for you to come out of your shell around the rest of the 141. the previously youngest one of the group, kyle, is 7 whole years older than you, so it's a bit awkward at first.

♡ but once you're comfortable around them, you let your guard down a little and start letting your "regular" personality show instead of the "work" one. this involves bouncing-off-the-walls levels of energy and constant jokes and references that only kyle gets, and that's only sometimes. the other three guys just exchange a look and move on.

♡ you're constantly doing little dances and just fidgeting around, playing with anything you can get your hands on and always bouncing a leg (also never actually sitting like a normal person, price doesn't understand how you're comfortable most of the time). once, when it was just you and soap, you taught him a dance he thought looked fun, but made you promise to never tell anyone else. you told ghost as soon as you saw him next, and that was the first time you ever saw ghost smile (under the mask, of course, but you could tell).

♡ you don't really respect the more "arbitrary" boundaries; you would randomly take food off of the other guy's plates without asking and you always had to be invading someone's personal space. after lots of scolding and you acting like they were denying you a fundamental human right, they learned that it really was easier to just accept it and give up. you don't take food from ghost's plate, because you may be a little dumb sometimes but you aren't stupid. sometimes he shoves his leftovers in your direction if he notices you aren't eating as much that day.

♡ when you aren't terrorizing one of the 141 members, they keep an eye on you while you focus on whatever your latest interest is with an intensity that they'd only expect from you on actual life-or-death missions. it always causes soap some actual concern for you, but you just think it's because he can't sit still, ever.

♡ once, after you had all returned from a mission, you went into your room to shower, came out, got something to eat, then went into your room and proceeded to spend the next 3 days completing the newest pokemon game. full pokedex, awesome outfit, full level 100 team, you had it all, and you proudly shoved the switch screen in their faces to show them your achievements once you deemed yourself done. they learned you were a perfectionist pretty early on, while they took turns checking on you every few hours.

♡ you'll do the thing of casually dropping something horrible that happened to you into a conversation, as if it was just some silly thing that happened the other day. they all just kind of do a double take, because none of them actually talk about that stuff. you just look up from whatever app you were absently fiddling with on your phone and wonder why everyone went quiet; they just move on, as usual.

૮ ’• ˕ •` ა here, have some sparring headcanons now!

♡ when you and ghost sparred for the first time, you swore up and down he was out to break every bone in your body. he told price that it was the easiest he'd went on a recruit in years (he did also say you did much better than he expected). despite your complaints, you got back up every single time he knocked you on your ass, and you quickly adapted to the way ghost fought. you still didn't win a single round, but that was more of a him-being-really-big thing.

♡ soap only goes easy enough on you to not break any bones, but it doesn't take much to get him fired up, and sparring is no exception. you spend the entire session on the defensive, just trying to keep yourself all intact. you always lecture him that you aren't the actual goddamn enemy before you spar with him now while he rolls his eyes and says you're being dramatic.

♡ kyle claims he isn't going easy on you but everyone knows he is. he can't help it; usually he doesn't care that much when he accidentally actually hurts someone when sparring, but the thought of leaving a scar on you rubs him the wrong way. he doesn't ever tell anyone this, but everyone sees how he always acts like an older brother to you.

♡ you only actually spar with price once, mostly as a joke, after you're all more acquainted. you're acting all cocky, basically just saying he's old and you'll put him in the retirement home a couple years early. you're on your back in less than five seconds with him looking down at you, a loud laugh booming out of his chest.

♡ one time, ghost must have been sick or something, because the match ended with you making what would have been the killing blow in a real fight. you had stared in amazement at your achievement, then started yelling at the other guys to ask if they had seen what you had done. ghost let you have your victory, finding your astronomical excitement funny (on the inside, of course).

♡ kyle is your easiest target. usually he doesn't even want to spar with you anymore, because he knows you'll probably end up throwing him to the ground with your full strength and saying you don't need to go easy on him, he's a grown ass man. you've mastered how to use his weight against him, and he knows it. he also knows the look you get when you're walking up to him to ask to spar, and at this point he just points you to soap or ghost and shoos you away. one time he actually said "go on, git!" to you; his british accent made it much more funny than he had intended.

♡ fighting against soap kind of has 50-50 odds of you winning. if you're not afraid to start bleeding in multiple areas that day, you'll most likely be able to pin him. if you don't feel really like it, then you pretty much just have to run away. your before-sparring lecture for him eventually gets accompanied by an after-sparring lecture from you while he helps you put band-aids on the new cuts and scrapes.

₍ᐢ.᎔.ᐢ₎ okay a couple angsty ones because i can't help it,,,

♡ price knows how young you are, and you know he does without him having to tell you, because sometimes you catch him looking at you with sad eyes that see a lot more than you do. usually, if the conditions are just right, you're all for attempting to get the team members to open up to you, but this is what you and price don't talk about. instead, you tell him not to worry, that you'll at least outlive him.

♡ they're all waiting for that one day that, on one of their missions, you'll see something or have to do something that you won't come back from, because it's inevitable in this line of work. but you find a way to smile, even after the worst days, and you always say it's because someone has to.

[rotshop]

I loved the interpretation, but ye. I think I might’ve been too vague as well. I meant as though it’s like the first manifestation of 111a, and Jeb ends up finding Reader in the aftermath of it, very much wounded. But I still appreciate your writing and ideas! You don’t have to fix if it’s too much to ask!! Hope you have a great day!!!

hell yea hell yea hell yea ,, as much as i love straight angst hurt / comfort is good shit,,, sorry these took so long and if they aren't rlly up to par !!

also hope a mix of drabble / hcs is all good ,,

tw ; talk of injury [not highly detailed], some brief talk of hallucinations [not highly detailed, past experiences]

w when the s/o is injured! [I'll come up with a better title later, maybe]

You'd gone out on your own little scouting trip. Nothing too grand, just wanting to investigate a nearby complex to look for any loose supplies. Neither you nor your partner had ever seen anyone go in or out of it, meaning the chance of anyone squatting there was pretty low. Initially, he'd been hesitant to let you go on your own despite that low risk. He would be busy with his own tasks, meaning he wouldn't be able to join you, leaving him to just hope you'd end up alright. Sure, he would be able to heal or -god forbid- revive you if needed, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. Though, you'd brushed his concerns off, reassuring him you'd be fine and back before sundown.

It'd started off well enough, spare ammo and medical supplies littered throughout the floors. Admittedly, you'd been a little nervous yourself, something about the sight of the greyed cemented building looming over caused you to lose your wits briefly. Though, with newfound confidence gained in your earnings, you slowly got more and more comfortable. It was quiet, the only other noise being your own footsteps and occasional murmuring. It was..calming, actually. It was hard to find many places in Nevada where there weren't gunshots or zeds groaning to drown out your own thoughts.

Eventually though, you'd felt it. Some shift in the corner of your eye that'd caused you to stand and straighten from your crouch as you'd inspected a package. Despite you glancing around the area and standing still for several moments, you weren't able to see anything that would've been the source of your vision. So, with a bit of hesitance, you'd brushed it off and returned to your scouring. It wasn't uncommon to simply think you saw something when you didn't, an unfortunate reality you'd had to face several times before.

Then you saw it again. Then another time. Then another. Again. Once more. And again.

It'd started to get on your nerves. Well, no, it'd started to get on your nerves after the second time. Now, it was tearing them apart, flakes and shreds falling like snow. You couldn't stand still, couldn't turn your back to any open space without feeling sickening dread. So, here you were with your back against the wall (literally) and weighing your options as your eyes never found any still, darting across the space endlessly.

On one hand, you didn't want to be there a second longer. You simply wanted to take what you'd shoved in your bag and run. You wanted to run home and forget this whole thing ever happened and brush it off as your mind playing tricks on you. On the other, you didn't want to leave. You didn't think you could leave. The thought of making a run for it only to be grabbed by the back of the neck and pulled back into the thick of it..that was your last nerve.

You'd finally stilled your gaze on a mass in another room, the last panel of glass blurring it as it shifted and moved. You couldn't make out any real coherent shape of it, just lines that overlapped and intersected to further confuse you. You knew you wouldn't be able to leave not knowing what exactly you were dealing with. It had to have noticed you already anyway, given the noise you'd made tripping over yourself and knocking things over when the nerves had first started to fray.

So, reluctantly, you'd pulled a dagger from your belt and started stalking closer.

You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, feel the shakiness of each breath as they felt like they were barely even there, feel the adrenaline that made your hands tremble. It was awful, a silent agony with no real cure. Finally, the door loomed in front of you, rusted knob mocking you in whispers and hisses. The uneven metal felt like nothing in your hand.

There was a pause. A beat. Then, you'd shoved the door open, weapon white-knuckled in your grip as you were fully prepared for an unknown enemy.

But that didn't happen.

It kicked in after a moment when you felt no shove. No yell, shout or even a growl fell on your ears. It was like every other room had been, quiet and still. You'd blinked, turning to the 'mass' you'd seen through the window pane. It was a cat.

A cat.

You were scared out of your mind, by a cat.

The laugh felt surreal as it tumbled awkwardly past your lips and onto the cold floor. It was humiliating but oh-so-relieving, a fate you accepted with sealed lips and a forgetful front. You'd placed your blade away carefully, struggling a bit even as adrenaline subsided to leave your hands growing still. A smile found it's way on your lips as you stepped closer carefully.

"Well, aren't you just the cutest little thing.." You'd hummed quietly.

The cat gave a little 'mew' in response, seeming to agree with you. Or not. Who knows. I sure don't and neither do you.

You'd reached out to gently stroke it's matted fur, hoping it wouldn't mind. Though, as you were just inches away from it, it'd looked up a bit just past you before reacting. Stretching its back defensively as its fur stood up on end, claws drawing out as an angry yowl came to life in its throat. Your hand retracted immediately, taking a moment to process before you'd gingerly made to look behind you.

You didn't get to see what it was. It all went black.

-

-when you came to you could hear the familiar muttering of your partner. it was a sound you'd grown long accustomed to from just how often you heard it. Sometimes it was just Jeb talking to himself aloud, him always jumping a bit before snapping his attention to you when you'd interrupt (typically by accident). This time though, it was a little more frantic. Utters of curses and something else (apologies? it was hard to tell, your head was still pretty foggy) falling from his lips

-It'd taken a few moments before you had the energy to give a weak little 'hey,' but even that was enough to make him dart up to meet your gaze before throwing his arms around you. admittedly, it DID hurt a little but nothing too bad, just sore and sensitive.

-"You um..alright?"

-"Am I alright? [name], you nearly DIED out there! I should be asking you that," came his retort.

-yeah hes. worried to say the least. he's always been a little guarded with his more vulnerable side, preferring to keep his insecurities and fears for a specific time and place rather than baring them immediately and openly. So, seeing him so obviously panicked and nervous over you was. an experience.

-he makes you get a lot of rest lmao. you'll try and get up to go get something and he'll just kinda. put a hand on your chest or shoulder and push you back down hrecjwe (gently, of course). he just!! prefers getting things for you, he wants to make sure you're taking it slow as you heal (yeah, he can heal you with the halo but the soreness is still a bitch and-a-half to deal with).

-he takes a little more time off his work to keep an eye on you, though he's still writing a lot of notes n shit down while he sits with you. BUT. it is very easy to convince him to set it aside and cuddle with u lol. he cannot say no to you when you look up at him like that and hold ur arms out to him. he's only human leave him alone !! (/j)

[the-slut-verses]

sayer relisten thots, s2

this came out from 2014-2015 and it really feels like it

which is to say, reminds me of that time when wtnv was the biggest audio drama, and the gateway pod of most ppl, and u could hear a lot of its influence in other pods, and a lot of pods were recommended by comparing them to night vale, "this pod is like wtnv but x"

lol i remember getting recommended sayer and wolf 359 around that time by ppl describing them as "wtnv but in space" cuz they're both horror adjacent kinda and had an audio broadcast framing device

i dont think that's applicable to wolf, and I don't think wtnv was a direct inspiration for sayer, but there are a lot of parallels, and i think both were inspired by the twilight zones

but yeah, both of these shows have a lot of comedy segments like, the weird vaguely threatening station announcements, the recreational activities that feel like mind game traps, the absurd nonsense statements from authority figures

and also the approach to horror by taking a normal mundane thing and then making it really fucked up

the disappearing reappearing door crisis feels very wtnv to me

and also the story structure and pacing reminds me of wtnv, like how, early eps would offhandedly mention bits about the wider world, and then eps later in the season would focus directly on them

and how, the eps are generally standalone but as the season goes on, the eps start to have more direct continuity with each other and the main plot progresses

im just pointing it out cuz it makes me nostalgic for that time i was first getting into this medium

lol i first tried getting into sayer sometime in 2017, but i couldn't make it far cuz i found sayer's voice too relaxing and i kept zoning out and falling asleep. only got into it in 2020 cuz i saw good smut of it and i had became more of a monster fucker then and got more out of it

i only realize now that this season had some sort of ARG thing with the weird distorted audios in the ending of some eps, if any of y'all can explain what became of it, i'd really like to know!

on that note, there were like,,, 3 episodes that had a more obtuse style and had a subplot of a scientist and their assistant maybe?? getting into office politics drama,, i think the characters were named after patrons, like i remember a guy named caufield, i assume it's related to the ARG

i also wonder if that dirt scientist that was sabotaged and buried in his lab is related to that, sayer implies that there's a wider plot there but i couldn't tell if that ever got a follow-up

on that note, the q and a mentioned a crossover with a lovecraftian actual play pod from the same network, did that ever come up in the sayer feed? or is that the thing with the staircase of leng cult that summoned the tall man

on that note, im noticing now more that aerolith is just,,, so badly run as a company and reminds me of those tech bros that think technology can fix everything while just creating more needless problems

like, aerolith wanted better automatic doors and they ended up summoning indescribable horrors from another reality, like wow good job on that one y'all

also, assuming the one off resident characters are a representative sample size, typhon has an absurd death rate

that's just really funny to me in the wider context of the world cuz sayer keeps complaining about how expensive it is to train new recruits and ship em to typhon but when they get there, they're treated as expendable

which implies a large percentage of aerolith's budget goes to just shipping new ppl to typhon probably

i love that, when sayer has to do a human voice, it comes out sounding like dr young, and he sounds like an absolute rat of a man <3

all the sayer/young interactions are so funny with the foreknowledge of what went down in s5

idk it feels like exes that are coworkers

also i really love sayer in this cuz its delusions of being the peak of efficiency and productivity is shattered in every episode by virtue of an ep having to have at least a 20 minute run time when sayer just really needed to say 2 sentences

like that ep where it was telling a scientist that he was getting brainwiped cuz he acted like a hero and aerolith can't have that. and sayer just needed to have a 20 minute monologue about the follies of man and emotion and earth or whatever

also i love how sayer's so bitchy and defensive when ppl try to be friendly with it like

a resident could be like "hey sayer, i noticed that the board ignored your research, how do you feel about that." and sayer is all like "um actually, i'm beyond human emotions i don't get angry fuck you and fuck your species stop projecting"

[sugako]

sleepover

pairing: college!kuroo x gn!reader synopsis: you realize your feelings for kuroo after he takes you to a party and you have to look after him  warnings: alcohol use, lots of hand holding and some cuddling a/n: uhh did i make the reader a little too much like kenma...probably..this is really mostly just a bunch of fluffy mutual pining and bad writing

you couldn't believe he had dragged you here. well, dragged was a strong word. you had willingly agreed to come to this party because his normal party friends were busy and he thought it would be fun. the loud shitty music, swarm of sweaty bodies, and intermittent yelling was not for you though.

it wasn't all bad. it was kind of fun to watch kuroo in his element. he could chat with almost anyone and he seemed to know most people here. you admired how easily he could weave through the crowd. how at ease he looked in this unfamiliar apartment. you almost wished you could be more like that.

on the other hand, you were getting tired of the people and the noise. about three hours in, you got separated from your human security blanket. a little defeated and not nearly as drunk as everyone around you, you slumped against a corner and waited. and waited. it wasn't like he was hard to miss with his messy bed head that towered above most everyone. still, you hadn't spotted him once in nearly twenty minutes.

you really didn't want to be a drag, but you were tired and drained from all the energy around you.

to 🐔kuroo: hey i think im gonna head out im pretty tired

as soon as you shoved your phone into your back pocket it buzzed.

from 🐔kuroo: wait up meet u by the door!!1!

you typed with one hand as you slipped through the crowd. when you heard his rowdy cackle you knew he wasn't far away.

to 🐔kuroo: you don't have to leave now if you don't wanna im good to go home

from 🐔kuroo: nahh I'm already there anywayy I'm ready to go

you smiled lightly at your screen. while you hadn't been paying attention you feelings of admiration for the man had slowly morphed into infatuation. it crept up on you slowly. you hadn't realized all at once, but it was starting to make more sense now as you stared at the little screen.

"hey!!" he called over the heads of a group blocking the door.

you peeped up and waved, pushing your phone back into a pocket. he grabbed you by the elbow and practically threw you out the door. when you stumbled, he caught your hand and tutted obnoxiously.

"you are not 'good to go' alone. how much did you drink when i lost you?"

heat, not from the alcohol, seeped into your cheeks. you tried to pull your hand out of his iron grip, but it was impossible. not that you actually minded.

"only one," you huffed, "i think you're the one that needs help." you watched his roaming feet as you both shuffled down the street toward the bus stop.

"hmm, nah. i was worried for a bit when i lost you, were you okay?"

his fingers squeezed around yours. "i-uh, yeah, i was fine. i didn't really talk to anyone, but it wasn't bad. i know i'm kinda bad at parties, but did you have a good time?"

kuroo giggled and swung your arm with his as he leaned heavily against the bus station sign. in the middle of the night on this empty street, it felt almost like it could be an intimate moment between the two of you... if he wasn't sauced.

"a great time, only i wish i hadn't accidentally abandoned you like that. i know you didn't really want to go."

"no, no!" you said a little too fast. "well, i didn't mind it, i'm just not used to big crowds like that. or the music." you trailed off. "i had a pretty good time though. maybe except for babysitting you." you joked, lightly nudging him as the bus pulled up.

he kept his hand in yours even as you sat down in the empty space. it seemed like he was processing what you said and answered just a little too late.

"i am not the baby that needs to be babysat, baby."

"you're very drunk, tetsuro."

"maybe so..." he breathed out, leaning heavily against you.

your eyes fluttered from exhaustion, alcohol, and the heavy heating pack slumped against you. two stops later the bus had arrived at his place, but his hand was firmly laced with yours.

kuroo had been watching you closely as your eyes drooped. he looked down at where your warm hands were intertwined with his and he couldn't help the giddy feeling that courses through his body. maybe you were just being nice because he was drunk, he thought. still, it felt nice to just exist with you like this.

"hey," he jostled you a little rougher than intended. you startled out of your half sleep. "wanna spend the night?"

"mhmm..." you murmured, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as he dragged you off the bus. around the corner you stopped at a tiny convenience store for a few overnight toiletries like toothpaste and deodorant. it wasn’t the first time you had spent the night, but you were feeling a little flustered under his gaze tonight. 

when his hand left yours, you felt colder and a little incomplete. 

you were still half asleep, but you listened as best you could as kuroo blathered on about his favorite tea. when you made your way up to the counter, he dumped a pile of snacks along with your things.

as he was attempting to slur out something along the lines of an argument for him to pay, you were already handing the sleepy cashier your cash. thanking the worker, you moved with him to the exit and he slipped his hand back into yours.

you couldn't help the dumb smile plastered on your face even as he sloppily keyed into his place. this time it didn't feel so bad when his hand left yours. in a flash, he had thrown out some sweatpants and an old t-shirt for you to wear to bed.

you quickly changed and headed for the couch where kuroo was already sprawled out, rifling through the snacks. 

“hey, movie?” he asked, glancing over at you as you settled in beside him. when your thighs brushed against one another neither of you made and move to part. you nodded and hummed, a little less tired now. while he clicked through dozens of titles, you reached for a small bag of chips on the low coffee table. “got those for you.” he mumbled before you could ask if you could have them. “you like those right?” 

“yeah...uh, yeah, i do.” you bit the inside of your cheek.

“this look good?” 

you looked up at the title card of some film you had heard good reviews on. truly, it didn’t really matter to you either way. “yeah, play it.” 

only about ten minutes in your eyes were getting heavy again. when your head knocked into something sturdy and warm you didn’t even stir.

kuroo sat back, trying to be as steady as he could as he leaned back on the couch, guiding you to lie on his chest. he knew if you kept your head cocked against his shoulder like it had been you would wake up with a cramp. although his knees were starting to get numb from the awkward half-laying, half-sitting position he was in, he didn’t dare to move. 

after a particularly loud noise from the movie, you stirred. you let out a small grunt as you tried to sit up. kuroo’s eyes were closed beneath you, but you weren’t convinced he was asleep. his arms were still wound tightly around your shoulders.

“kuroo?” you choked out hoarsely. his eyes blinked open and he flushed under your stare. “what are you doing?” 

“you fell asleep.” he muttered, sheepishly. you didn’t say anything back, but you didn’t make a move and neither did he. “hey, what was your first impression of me?” 

you chuckled, clearing the sleep from your voice. “you looked really cool and mysterious, but then you opened your mouth and i realized that you’re a dork.” he scoffed and ran his fingers soothingly up and down your back. 

“i can be cool.” he pouted. 

“you are cool,” you rolled your eyes, “you’re just also kinda a dork. you have a good balance.” you brought your hands up to more comfortable rest around his shoulders and shifted so your legs were on the couch. “what did you think about me at first?” 

“that you’re smart and quiet. you looked like you knew me. i also thought you looked really good in that sweater.”

you snorted, remembering the awfully cold night you had met kuroo through some mutual friends when the group of you went out to a bar. it had been so frigid you hadn’t bothered to dress nice even though you were going out, you put on the fuzziest, warmest sweater you owned. 

“hey.” he whispered. 

“yeah?” 

“do you like me?” 

your heart was pounding so hard you knew he had to be able to feel it against his chest. “are you still drunk?”

“only a little.” he answered honestly. “you let me hold your hand for a long time earlier and you seem pretty comfortable right now.” 

glad that you were tucked below his chin, you couldn’t help it that your face was heating up. “yeah, yeah i think i do like you.” 

“cool, you weren’t really trying to hide it.” you rolled your eyes at the smirk in his tone. your heart was still reverberating behind your ribcage. “oh, yeah, i like you too.” 

he groaned like an old man as he shifted under you to lay his legs out flat on the couch.

“did you...did you plan this?” 

“hmm, maybe.” he mused. “when you didn’t pull your hand away and dozed off on me on the bus i knew that i could tell you. didn’t expect you to snuggle up on me so fast though, buy me something to drink first.” 

finally, you completely relaxed into his hold. with your head nearly buried into his neck now you could faintly smell his woody soap. he tapped little rhythms into your shoulder blades with his fingertips, drawing small circles with his thumbs. 

“i bought you tea and junk food.” 

he laughed quietly, not wanting to shake you too much. “this is a pretty good sleepover, huh?” 

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out! 

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too. 

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still. 

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope? 

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this. 

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot. 

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic. 

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan. 

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

[hopeassassin]

Rally’s Scribbles in the Work

So after that lovely anon blew my mind away with their kind words and wonderful support, and because I keep telling you guys about my writing plans without actually giving you even a teensy little detail, I have decided to stop being coy and actually likely get your hopes up a bit by dilvulging small details and bits of plots of what is currently going on in my G-Drive. 

This will be a brief recount of what I have currently baking in the AoMomo oven, so let’s dive right into it! Please note that the numbers are in no particular order - I just keep revisiting each of these stories and writing a bit more to them whenever I feel like it. So there’s no ranking and no importance, just a number to keep proper count.

1. “Knight of Renown” Dragons and Knighthood AU, based on that one AoMomo pic with Momo ithe Knight and Dragon Aomine that I reblogged a while back and I actually let me imagination go a bit too much in the tags. I ended up actually rather enjoying the premise I set up in the tags so I actually started writing that one out!  Completion rate at about: 5%? I’d say? Less? :D 

2. AoMomo Music AU - a dearly beloved project that I am pouring a lot of love and attentioin to. That’s why it’s coming along super slow. It’s been in the making since November and I chewed it and mulled through it so thoroughly that I’ve grinded to a halt with it. Intending for there to be 2 chapters, and I am at about 25-30% of chapter 1 currently ready currently. At the pace I’m going, it might be another full year before you actually get to see this bad boy up, but when you do, I’m sure you’ll see all the care and effort that went into making it perfect. Honestly, no joke here, I am intending for this to be one of my rare masterpieces in this tag. So I’m not gonna rush it!

3. AoMomo Car Accident AU where Daiki barely manages to save Satsuki from being run over by a hit-and-run and ends up being the one run over instead. This was my first piece of writing after coming back to AoMomo last summer and yet completion rate is a sad thing. I want it to be flawless, a perfectly agonizing, thrilling type of torturous read that gives you a great sense of relief by the end of it. Needless to say, the clusterfuck of negative feelings is a bit difficult to hold onto for a prolonged period of time and the work is coming along slowly. Planned at about 5 chapters, I have 2 complete ones and the 3rd one is at about ... 30%? Hopefully before this year’s whumptober, we’ll have a finished piece!

4. AoMomo bond character study, which went in a direction I did NOT expect nor intend. It was suppsoed to be an idea that you will see also listed below. But I started this one from their early childhood and somehow, instead of focusing on the kids and their bond and their weird interactions with each other and their first moments of realizing they are of opposite genders, it turned into something much too fun to let go of and the ideas for scenes just kept piling. It’s going to be a long one, very explorative and very in-depth character study on the bond between these two and how it changed over the years, and their first encounters with their sexuality inbetween (because that was really the main idea that I started with... xDDD;;;) Currently at 1 chapter complete, chapter 2 somewhere around 50-60% completion, and at least 6-7 chapters to come after that, soooo.... :’DDDD YEAH. THIS ONE AIN’T SEEING THE LIGHT OF DAY ANYTIME SOON.

5. AoMomo deciding to practice stuff on each other, because I am a sucker for this trope.THIS will be what the idea under previous number 4 was SUPPOSED to be like, but it instead spun out of control. So this one, under number 5, is going to be the smutty, idiots bumbling through physicality to discover that they actually have serious feelings for each other kind of piece. Chapters are planned at about at least 6-7 or so, but not my usual monstrocities! :D First we start with practice kissing, and we move our way up from there! 

6. “The Evil of Humanity” AU - a dystopian futuristic kinda mecha AU, sort of an amalgamation of some of my favourite anime in the genre - a bit of NGE, a bit of Gurren-Lagann, a lot of Darling in the Franxx rewrite and improvement, in distinctly AoMomo colors. I poured a lot of thought and love into initial outline of main moments for this one, and I really hope to make it an epic, thrilling action/adventure with a big dash of romance kind of read! Chapters currently not even planned properly, because I need to sit down and consider this seriously. It will definitely be more than 10-15 though, and they will be my usual chapter lengths so.... likely no time soon. :D 

7. Aomine Fanclub - I got a plot bunny some time ago and I shared it here and my friends were spurring me on with it, so I started trying it out a little more. I’ve written out like... maybe 30% of this one as well, but need to re-read and reconceptualize to get it back on track. The issue with this one is that I’m not really sure where I want to take it, thus it’s on the back burner at the moment.

8. KagaKuro AoMomo double-date kind of story, where Aomine is asking some curious questions of Taiga about going to America and pondering if any of his immediate friends know what Satsuki wants to do with her life. I’m really invested in this one but haven’t started properly writing it out yet beyond just sketching out the idea so I don’t forget it. (I’d say 1% complete here.) Really looking forward to using the idea of Kagami being super impressed with AoMomo perfect sync when playing as a team in arcade games!

9.Laws of Attraction Chapter 2 - You might be surprised at this, but I’m actually super invested in this one. Likely the reason why I am delaying so much working on it - I feel like all my great scene ideas are just too chaotic and I have a hard time starting the chapter flowing properly. I had like 4-5 false starts already and I’m feeling a bit skittish with picking it up. But I have such AMAZING concepts on where to take it after it revvs up the engine, so... Maybe sometime this year! Completion rate: 0% written, but at least about 30% ideas built up for the installment!

10. AoMomo college rooming together story - sort of an expansion on my fill for one of the prompts way back those years ago in AoMomo week. I really dig the concept and the trope of sharing spaces with someone you consider nothing more than a friend and then gradually learning to appreciate each other for something so much more. I am definitely doing this one some day, but not anytime soon, likely.

11. A random idea bit me the other day (read: a month ago) and I actually wrote out like... maybe 25% of it already as well. A random comment from Wakamatsu miffs Satsuki but then she realizes why he’s asking dumb questions and she comes to realize that something is wrong with the equation: either Dai-chan likes someone really close to them and she hasn’t realized, which is unlikely, or Dai-chan likes HER and is super blase about it in a way that betrays his feelings not at all, which is even more unlikely. Being a curious  individual, she sets out to find which it is! Some hilarity should ensue but mostly just some mess-with-Dai-chan fun!

12. Touou summer training camp at the sea - progress is practically 0, I wanted to write a summery piece and set my mind on this, but nothing beyond has come to me, so I’m not forcing it.

13. AoMomo cultural festival fic in second year of high school (meaning something approx end of Oct -> beginning of Nov.) with Daiki being in a distinctly Haruhu Suzumiya role at that festival (has anyone even seen this anime? I adored that episode to freaking bits, man, it’s engraved upon my soul) and singing Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” and one more song just like Haruhi did. And Satsuki just beholding the phenomenon he becomes in no time flat while he lays bare his passion for life for all the student body to see. Shippiness will happen in private afterwards!

14. You Can Leave Your Hat On Chapter 2 - Probably like 2-3 years ago while I was still in the damn woodwork and wrestling with real life and adulting being crap, I remembered this AU premise and I got super hyped on the idea of Club Owner Dai-chan being a flirt with innocent Satsuki who got dragged to his joined and fell in love at first sight with his shenanigans. I’ve already played around for like 7k words with the second chapter of this but I’m still not where I want to be at, so it will take a while longer to flesh it out.

15. Idol Worship - a story that I promised my mate aricana some 6 years ago the premise for which I am super hyped for but not quite engaging with it yet. The idea was that Momoi finally starts gettiing the dates she has been pesting Kuroko for for years, and Daiki feeling terrible about beholding that, whilst Kise is being pestered by Horikita Mai for a date and instead ditches her with Daiki because he knows his former Teikou classmate is a huge fan of her. Mai-chan isn’t particularly happy but somehow ends up enjoying her time with Daiki and starts considering actually pursuing him instead of Kise when she sees what an interesting soul he is, with the torch that he’s carrying for some girl in his life he doesn’t really talk about but is evident from the little things he drops off as hits. AoMomo shenanigans will start to ensue properly when Satsuki realizes that Daiki is actually having a close female friend who is not her but is Horikita Mai instead, Dai-chan’s perfect woman, practically. She doesn’t take well to the news and has to grapple with why that is! And what to do with these newfound frustrating emotions!

16. Obstruction of Justice Chapter 3 - MAYBE SOME DAY, I WILL GET TO WRITING THIS. Last summer I inteded to do just that but instead, Wild Side of Justice was born. And it became a spin off of sorts on its own. ORZ. I WILL FINISH THIS SOME DAY, I do have some plans for it and I do have the desire to pursue them. I just need to be in the right headspace for it ahsjkfhkjaf

17. A PWP story of Kagami arriving early for a practice match at Touou and somehow walking in on AoMomo getting busy with each other in very unexpected and explicit ways that Kagami did not see headed his way. Because, we need more PWP in this fandom, honestly.

18. And since we DO need more PWP, recently when checking the 30 lemons community on LJ (shut up, I’m not ancient, YOU’RE ANCIENT) I was wondering how exactly a smut plot around the “Taken by the Faceless Stranger” could work for Aomomo and I came up with this Masquerade ball that they end up both attending because of their friends and meeting each other and hitting off fantastically just chatting the night and then banging in a niche in the long castle-like premise of the ball. :’DDDD Cuz it’s me and if I don’t have something like that in the works, you know i’m likely sick.

ALL OF THESE I am planning on eventually finishing one day. ONE DAY!

For now they are in various states of completion and in various stages of being cared for and improved on with more ideas added and fleshed out.

I am not joking when I say I am very invested in this fandom. I just have difficulty getting to writing out these ideas when I spend like 60% of my free time playing my mobile games. :D 

So there you have it. I didn’t want to say anything about these because 1) I don’t want to get your hopes up. You Can Leave Your Hat On 2, for one, has been in the making for 3 years, very on-again-off-again kind of way, and I just... can’t do that to you guys. I have decided against posting any incomplete fics so I don’t torture you guys and my muse doesn’t abandom me forever for them. So when something is complete, it gets posted promptly for your viewing pleasure!

And 2) If I divulge too much of the story, I feel like my hype of it may disappear completely. Ehh, my muse is a willful creature, what can I tell you... 

So let’s hope at least SOME of these get to see the light of day soon!

[hqxreader]

I-I taylor it just turned into a brain ramble pls accept my sachi x idol reader tots 😔🤲

Saichi going to a shoot for his bab on a day off n he was roped into bein an extra because come on look at him perfect face boi n then they make him do the kabedon or poses where theyre super close on the reader for the photoshoot then y/n is all flustered because its not an actor but her 11/10 boyfie doing it. (BOUNS POINTS HES IN A CRISPY SUIT OOO) Embarassed af and then Sachi is all happy like ‘this my puppy and only I can make her this embarassed hehe’ and the rest of the staff still teases her in the future about it like ‘come on put a ring on him, such a keeper owo’ and she keeps all the photos from the shoot into her phone like its a treasure we must keep and the fangirls start coming in like ‘who is this handsum handsum man? Is he also an idol owo’

Extra: His siblings see it and are kinda jelly like ‘were pro players but baby brother is more popular then us from 1 photoshoot? 👁👄👁’

P.s. Feel free to add anything u think of cause sachi thoughts are /chefs kiss/ immaculate 🥰

P.p.s. ILY STAY HYDRATED U AMAZING INCREDIBLE CUTIE PATOOTIE STRONG HUMAN BEING U CAN DO ANYTHING 😩💖

i’ll always accept them love 💕

this idea tho, i sat and thought about it for awhile cause damn.. Sachi in a suit?? who do i ask to draw that for all the sachi stans?

but anywho~ i did have to look up kabedon cause i didn’t know it was actually called that?? i knew it as the ‘goodbye personal space’ pose lol showing how intelligent i am

p.p.p.s ILY YOU STAY HYDRATED TOO OKAY?? YOU ARE AMAZING, GOT IT?? DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YA OTHERWISE!! OMG I LOVE THE CUTIE PATOOTIE  💕💕💕

okie dokie i hope you enjoy! 💕this got super long oh jeez

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Series Masterlist

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Warnings: Sachi gets a bit dirty sorry folks, embarrassed reader, horrible writing, and Sachi in a suit and tie cause that’s totally a warning 

Word Count: 1.1k (holy shit damn) 

You were more than happy to learn that your PR team had gotten you an ad photo shoot with a popular clothing line/company/whatever. They wanted to advertise some of their more professional clothes, suits and dresses, yada yada. With a quick kiss goodbye to Sachirou, you made your way over to the photo shoot location.  

Arriving there, everyone was rushing around more than what you would consider normal. You heard various people saying, “I can’t believe he got sick, what are we supposed to do today? Should we reschedule?”

Going to your PR team you asked what was going on, confused. They explained to you that the extra who was supposed to model with you got sick, and they were trying to find a replacement. “Well, um,” you started, “Sachirou’s off today, do you think he could work as a replacement?” 

Your team knew who Sachirou was at this point, especially after his surprise backstage for you. They eagerly agreed, saying that would be amazing.

Walking to a more quiet corner of the studio, you gave your boyfriend a call. “Hey Sachi?” “What’s up Puppy?” “How would you like to be a model for a day?” 

And with that, Sachirou made his way over to the studio, excited for the shoot. 

When you introduced him to the photographer and she was very happy with him, even mumbling, “maybe even better than our sick idiot.” 

And with that, they sent you both to the changing area to get all dolled up and such for the shoot. 

You were dressed in a dark red sleeveless dress that rested just above your knees with black heels. plus your hair and jewelry was all nice and fancy i’m not getting into that sry.  

Leaving the changing room, you saw Sachirou wearing a black crisp(y) suit, a white dress shirt with his tie matching the color of your dress. His hair was slicked back unlike his usual wild hair. You couldn’t help but let your jaw drop, when the hell had your boyfriend become even more handsome?? 

“Like what you see, y/n?” Sachirou walked over to you, smirk on his face. You felt your face warm up at his comment. “’Cause I’m loving what I see.” Cheesiest ass line ever

Before you could respond with a comeback, the photographer called both of you over to discuss what you’d be doing for the shoot. “So y/n, I’d like you to stand with your back against the wall, Hirugami, I’m going to have you put your arm next to her head and lean over her, like a kabe-don pose, okay?” 

You simply nodded and Sachirou gave her a thumbs up. Taking your hand, he walked you over to the set where the were two walls set up, one for you to lean on and the other for the background. 

You leaned against the one wall, getting situated before Sachirou placed one hand next to your head and the other slid into the pocket of his black dress pants. 

Your cheeks warmed up to what felt like a blazing temperature from the close proximity of your faces. Sachirou’s face was only what felt like an inch or two away from yours. 

You both maintained eye contact. His lips turned into a smirk, a mischievous glint in his eyes along with something else. “Is my puppy being a good girl? A good little model?” he murmured in a husky voice, and only you could hear his words. sorry ima go now

Your eyes widened at his comment and your mouth formed a small o-shape. “Y-yes, I’m being a g-good model.” You couldn’t help but stutter over your words, embarrassment seeping through your body. 

The camera went off various times, the photographer capturing the moment between you two. “’Cause I have the best little puppy, don’t I? She’s very smart and beautiful, knows how to follow directions, yeah?”

All you could do was nod, your legs buckling a bit underneath you. Sachirou moved his free arm on your thigh, keeping you stable.  “Does my puppy need some support?” Gasping at the sudden change of position, you couldn’t help but cover your face with your hands. More shuttering sounds were heard as the photographer continued to take photos.  

“No, no, no, puppy. Let me see your beautiful face, don’t hide it from me.” You slowly moved your hands to rest on his broad shoulders, one hand messing with his tie. “There we go, there’s my beautiful puppy.”

More shuttering.

“Okay guys, I think that’s pretty good! Nice job to both of you!”

Sachirou pushed off the wall, taking a step back. He grinned, the former horny teasing attitude gone. “Nice job, love! I’m sure the people will love it!” 

You continued to stare at him in shock, how in the world did he go from whispering dirty words in your ear to this energetic man? “Y..yeah the people will love it, Sachi,” you said slowly.  

“Alright well, I’m gonna change and head back home, see ya in a bit?” You simply nodded with a small smile and watched him walk back to the changing rooms. 

Still leaning against the wall, the photographer chuckled at you. “You’re keeping him right? I sure do hope so, you don’t find guys like him very often.” Your smile grew and you wholehearted agreed, “He’s a keeper, no doubt about it.”

“When you gonna put a ring on his finger? Huh, y/n!” 

You glared at your manager for a moment before giggling, “soon,” you whispered. Finally moving away from the wall, you walked off to the changing room while they uploaded the pictures to the computer. 

Giving one final kiss goodbye to Sachi as he left, you walked back out to the studio to see everyone huddled around the computer. “Did they come out good?” you asked, walking over to everyone to see what the big hubbub was about. 

“Oh y/n, they came out amazing.” 

Peering over to see the screen, you were astonished by how well they came out. They looked like a natural kabedon between two people, not something fake that would’ve happened with the sick actor. “Can you, uh, send those to me? Please?” 

Everyone smirked at you and the photographer agreed to send them as soon as she could. 

A few days later, you received them all, and you put your favorite one as your home screen background. 

A month later, the best photo came out for the ad and your fans couldn’t stop buzzing about it. 

“Who is that? He’s really cute!” “Isn’t that her boyfriend?” “Is he an idol too? That’d be crazy!”

You never heard the end of it from Sachirou.

Extra:

A few days after the ad was released and everyone started going bonkers over Sachirou, said man got a phone call from his siblings. 

“How?! How are you more popular than us!? We’re pro-volleyball plays that have been in sports magazines!”

“Well big bro, I guess I just got the good genes.”

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed horny sachi 💕

Taglist: @yams046 @sunarincakes @kkoalaworld @sachirou-senpai @osamusriceballz @edvigelacivetta @tris-does-stuff @ylxxia @kageyuji @isentsworld @aaakaaashii @disneyloving-muggle @ahkaahshi @sachrious @pretty-setters

[berrykook]

bloom (demon!y!hs) (nsfw)

do not read if you are not into yandere fic! hs is a demon jackass pls save urself!

in which hoseok finds you in his garden and his love begins to bloom

contents: demon!yandere!hoseok, kidnapping, manipulation, oral (f receiving), sex!!! i gotta spoil it they fuck! and hoseok kinda says some...sub stuff idk :/

word count: 5.2k

a/n: thanks for the requests ! <3 i got off track from building this universe and i ended up sorta negating the law that demons and angels can’t interact buttttttt reader still kinda has a moral dilemma ? >.<

IMPORTANT before they start fuckin, reader has a moment of confusion and suspects that hoseok has intentionally magically warped her mind into consenting but that’s not the case reader is just dumb! thank u also i don’t know much about flowers or hell so i’m sorry if any info is incorrect :( lmk and i will fix immediately (and let’s pretend hoseok’s dog is a girl bc i didn’t know that until googling it for this fic)

and mb that this is coming a month after i said it would :( school is beating my ass hard anyways pls enjoy

*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ

Hoseok once had a mother a mere three-thousand or so years ago and she named him well. His name fell off her tongue in a major key and rang across acres and through caverns. She never failed to say his name in gargantuan font to be heard across nations; the syllables “Ho-seok” had chimed through shadowy deserts of Hell, Heaven, and Earth for as long as he lived. Hoseok was always big and known - a beacon of diabolic energy; it was his birthright.

His mother was long gone, but remained in a photograph which he always kept on his person (demon?). It was supposed that even immortals had to walk forward into new lives after some time. His father had been around for around one hundred years after, and his sister had moved on when he was barely a thousand. The only companion of Hoseok’s, the only one left, was a shih tzu who followed him even when he treated her with indifference. Hoseok had great power and an abundance of Earth men who sold him their souls, but the loneliness which plagued him was indescribable.

“News for you, my Lord. Taehyung has declared he is but one sure meeting from stealing the Park soul for work to complete in the Circle of Fraud. He has said to be back in less than a fortnight.”

The assistant, doe-eyed and snake-tongued, stared at the wall behind Hoseok as he recited the news from one of hell’s most talented demons, who was currently on a sabbatical to inspect the soul of an Earth man with an itch to be with a woman he saw on the train a year prior. Taehyung had come bustling into Hoseok’s quarters one day, spewing gibberish about the perfect human to become his next target. Hoseok’s chest twinged a bit when Taehyung explained that this Park Jimin schmoe had been stalking this woman for months and was willing to practically sell his soul to be with her (enter Taehyung). “How wonderful,” he said wistfully, yearning for a perfect confidante like this Jimin character had found. At Hoseok’s glassy expression, Taehyung had to withhold a shiver.

Hoseok took a long moment to respond. He stared at his assistant, wondering if he, too, yearned for such a dream, or if perhaps he had even already found his match made in hell. The assistant’s nose twitched like a rabbit.

“Thank you, Jungkook. You may go,” Hoseok said apathetically. He robotically spun on his heels and exited Hoseok’s office with heavy footsteps. Hoseok stretched in his chair, debating if he should charm the assistant’s feet to grow dead and swollen and moldy to teach him not to walk so damn loud all the time.

The shih tzu yapped happily around Hoseok’s feet as he slowly rose from his desk to stare out the window to his left, which displayed miles and miles of lush greenery and delicate flowers of all colors. He conjured the garden around when his sister passed on. She, too, had an infatuation for infatuation and longed for a faraway place to water a romance. Once, they peeked into their father’s seeing portal as children and stumbled upon two lovers in a field of flowers.

(Hoseok did not possess his own soul, but if he did, it would be prickly and tar-like and scary. He was on the cusp of royalty in the underworld. He was evil.)

Still, Hoseok clutched the memory of those lovers in the flowers with tight fists. How magnificent it was to just be in the shadows of lovers. Oh, how the feeling crawled over him like a crowd of tarantulas. He was evil, and was sure he would never experience such a joy. At least he had his garden.

Hoseok felt your presence before his foot even touched the grass that day. He froze in the doorway for a moment, closing his eyes to sense where the intruder was. Within seconds, he discovered your exact location within the field that went on forever. He let out a breath as his feet hit the ground, now teleported a thousand miles from his home. He opened his eyes and choked for a second. His senses were going haywire - the grass was a million shades greener and the flowers seemed to bloom bigger before him. It was beautiful.

As soon as you became completely engulfed in the sickly red hot aura, you went ramrod straight and dropped the bundle of flowers in your hands. It filled every one of your pores and poured down your intestines like lava. You did not even get the chance to gasp - after the instant it came, it burned too much to inhale or exhale. You stared forward straight into the field, wondering how this spirit did not wilt all of the garden. You didn’t dare look in the direction it was coming from.

“What are you doing here?” Hoseok spoke finally after a long moment of thick silence. The typical malice in his tone had completely vanished. He was sure now - he loved you. “Angel...are you lost?” He thought about kneeling to get on your level, but hesitated, awkward in his actions. What was he supposed to do with his hands?

Slowly, you trailed your eyes over to where those awful vibrations were originating from. Your stomach twisted when you saw him simply standing five meters away. You became filled with an indescribable dread. A demon, horns and all, staring at you and speaking with tenderness. You began to blubber immediately.

“I’m so, so sorry, I-I was just looking for a f-f-flower I heard you had, oh, dear God, I’m so sorry!” You were inconsolable, dropping your head towards your knees in surrender. Just feeling him that great distance away put you in shambles. You were young and naïve, but you knew what happened to Heaven’s Souls that were caught sneaking in the Circles. Your cries only worsened when his aura became stronger and more painful with every footstep. You suddenly felt an overwhelming warmth on your back and your cries immediately halted like magic.

“Don’t cry anymore.” His voice seemed to boom even when he was trying his hardest to keep it soft. “Nothing is going to happen to you. Speak freely...tell me how you arrived here.” His hand trailed up your back to rest on your neck. He wanted nothing more than for you to relax against him.

“I-I was...searching for a flower. I had heard about a secret garden in the Fraudulent Circle...one with every flower to have existed. I-I’m so sorry. Please, have mercy!” You began sobbing again into your hands, holding them close to your face when you felt his gentle touch around your wrists. “I only died just last year…I don’t want to vanish, please!”

Your wails struck a tune in Hoseok’s ribcage like a kalimba. He grabbed your fearful face in his hands and wiped your tears with his thumb. You held your breath in shock at how gentle he was.

“Not a single soul has trespassed my garden and escaped vanishing.” Your bottom lip wobbled at that, and he ran a thumb along it to still it. “But you...sweet angel...I couldn’t dare do that to you.”

Your mind raced, knowing how clever demons could be and especially such a powerful one like him. He was devastatingly handsome - if you were still on Earth, you would have melted right into his hands.

His smile is twisted. “Lover...do you know who I am?” He stared down at you in admiration, rising a bit on his knees to hover over your face.

Slowly and fearfully, you shook your head. He pressed a ghost of a kiss on your lips as he turned to your ear and whispered softly, “Ho-seok.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood straighter and your whole body erupted with goosebumps. You stared at him with wide eyes.

Hoseok. A name you knew of well, even when you were human. Hearing him whisper that name into your ear like that made your knees shake a second more rapidly. It felt as though the blue skies above had darkened into a hellish black hole. He chuckled at your terrified expression, smoothing your hair back with a burly hand.

“Are you scared?” He couldn’t help himself from asking. Your glassy eyes made him both sad and also weak-kneed. He decided in that moment that he especially loved to tease you.

You nodded again and Hoseok cooed, playfully squishing your cheeks a bit.

“You’re such a young one, aren’t you? Just a baby,” he mumbled, running his hands along your cheekbones, through your hair, across your forehead. Chills continuously crawled up your spine as he fawned over you like some sort of doll. You understood where you were going before you began your trip, but you truly felt it now - this was Hell.

“There is no reason to fear me. I couldn’t hold any malice toward a soul so beautiful...even better that you are an angel. I can easily arrange a place for you in my fortress if you so please.” Something in his tone warned you that it didn’t matter what you pleased. You gave a small nod, letting him take your hand in his. He held it to his face, inhaling deeply and pressing wet kisses along your forearm. “Really? You don’t mind sharing a space with a big, bad demon like me?” He chuckled darkly against your palm and you bit your lip nervously.

“No,” you murmured quietly. He was tricking you. You could feel it in your bones.

He smiled widely, also seeing completely through you. He knew then that he would need to put in some work to turn you over. He placed a hand on your back once more and leaned to bring his forehead to yours, and in less than a second, you had found yourself teleported to a cozy study with velvet carpets. Your stomach turned with anxiety at the thought of your friends and family not knowing where you had disappeared off to - you weren’t even sure if you were still in a Circle of Hell or some other evil place. Hoseok stood up slowly and brought you by the hand to behind his desk, perching you on his lap. 

“Tell me, angel, where are you from?” He conjured a brush out of thin air and ran it through your hair like he would a doll. You clenched your fists in an attempt to get your voice under control.

“I was told that I was the last of my family to die. They’re all up in Heaven, waiting for me.” Hoseok began to brush your hair slower. “B-But, it’s...fine, I guess,” you added quickly. The last thing you wanted was for Hoseok to grow suspicious of you. “I just...wanted to find a type of camellia. I love flowers,” you whispered. The feeling of his breath on your neck made you embarrassed. He laughed.

“Camellia? You should have just said so,” he beamed. Suddenly, his arm wrapped around your front to reveal the red blossom you had pain-stakingly sifted through the fields for. A soft gasp escaped you as Hoseok placed the flower in your hands, then wrapping his hands around your wrists. He seemed to like having that hold on you.

“Oh, it’s beautiful! It’s just how I pictured it,” you whispered in awe. You turned in his lap to face him, doing your best to ham up the performance to give yourself the best chance of survival. “Thank you, Hoseok.” You hoped that his doe-eyed expression so close to your face would not make your own expression drain of color.

“You’re welcome, darling...I can call you that, can’t I?” He leaned in closer to your face and you squeezed the stem in your hand to force yourself not to move back.

“O-oh...I suppose so, sure…” you said coyly. Hoseok’s smile grew wider and he slowly leaned in more, further and further, until his lips were pressing a kiss to your cheek. Your hope for escaping was decreasing exponentially as he continued to fawn over you and kiss your face. 

“Darling, tell me more,” he mumbled against you. “Talk to me about this afterlife in Heaven of yours. I want to know everything.”

You were sure that he was able to find out anything he wanted with just a lick of his magic, but you indulged him anyway. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s heaven, isn’t it? It’s...wonderful, actually. I missed my family for so long on Earth that it’s an indescribable feeling of being reunited once again.”

You did not lie - Hoseok would likely pick up on that before you could even pull the words from your throat, so you did your best to make your reality sound like something you held onto dearly. In truth, it was Heaven - nothing more, nothing less. Your entire family, along with every Godly person you had ever known was there to keep you company as you filled your days with...whatever it was you wanted to do. Heaven held your wildest dreams. 

Going spelunking to the Eighth Circle of Hell was the most interesting thing you had done since you died, but you knew that staying was out of the question, right? 

The needle of your moral compass twitched slightly.

“I...I miss them,” you mumbled sadly, playing with your fingers like a child. Hoseok remained silent and your heart picked up a beat as you couldn’t yet tell if he was seeing through you. He turned his head away from you, biting his lip.

“I see, angel...you would like to go home, wouldn’t you?” He looked to you again, reaching to cradle your face. You felt a profound force pulling you to lean in closer. Something about him felt right, and you were beginning to feel disgusted with yourself for it. His thumbs stroked underneath your eyes as he looked at you sadly. Your heart stirred unwillingly.

“I suppose I should...shouldn’t I?” You had to refrain from smacking yourself as the words tumbled out of your mouth like an avalanche. Ever since you were a young human girl, you had been warned of a demon named Hoseok and his tricks. You slept with a night-light for several years from the gruesome stories of him that lingered around your shoulders for long nights. You feared him, but a prickling feeling in your sternum somehow drew you closer. He pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Sweet angels like you belong in Heaven. You have your afterlife and I have mine,” he sighed wistfully. You leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. 

There was no explanation for this unsolicited adoration blossoming in your chest. You were never one to fall in love easily, but it felt like the walls were going to close in on you if you didn’t give in. Yes, you were fully suspicious now that Hoseok had done something to your mind to make it melt in such a way, but it felt so good that you didn’t attempt to fight it. Hoseok grinned widely, itching to use his magic but ultimately restraining himself.

You were correct from that first moment he appeared behind you - you were completely and utterly hopeless.

“Besides, who would want to stay with such an ugly, evil demon like Hoseok?” He scoffed, looking away from you pitifully. You gasped and dropped the flower so you could tenderly hold his face in your hands.

“Don’t say that!” He grinned sheepishly under your gaze. “I just...I was just saying...um,” you stumbled over your words, trying to remember why exactly you had to leave him here. Your family was waiting for you in Heaven, but they suddenly seemed so miniscule compared to Hoseok. You were torn between completely rejecting him and his demonic nature, and attempting to understand that nature and understand the soul he is. His aura had changed totally since you first felt it - you now could only feel the love he had for you. It was absurd.

“You don’t remember, baby?” Hoseok laughs and your blush deepens. “I thought you were so eager to get back home...can’t you make up your mind?” Hoseok continued to tease you, which made you feel as if you were up in flames. Your mind raced, unsure of what was happening. Hoseok was now kissing the pads of your fingers. He moved so slowly, but you felt as if time was advancing more quickly by the minute.

“My head is...foggy. I don’t know what I want,” you mumbled, grabbing his hand to place on the back of your neck. He smiles widely.

“I think you know exactly what you want.” Hoseok took one of your hands to place on his chest. You immediately started rubbing it, up and down in slow strokes. “Such a good little angel...you always have been, haven’t you? Married a good man, lived honestly as a florist...you’ve been so good…” Hoseok held your face by your chin and slipped a thumb into your mouth to run along your lower set of teeth. “Why don’t you let yourself run free for a night? Be a little bad?”

He slipped his thumb further into your mouth and you leaned forward so it would reach toward the back of your throat. Hoseok moaned at the feeling, smirking evilly. “Darling...don’t you want this?”

You closed your eyes and hollowed your cheeks, letting the pad of your tongue be pet by his thumb. He released it from your mouth with a wet pop.

The burning in your sternum spread like wildfire through you, and you knew then that you had to let yourself smolder. You had already thrown caution to the wind when you decided going to a flower field in Hell was more fun than being around the people you had already spent a mortal eternity with. Something about his aura had your head reeling and your core dripping.

Fuck it. You were already caught in Hell.

“Yes, Hoseok. I want this.”

Hoseok leaned in to place a tender kiss under your jawline and when you opened your eyes, you found yourself teleported into a King-sized bed with a thick red velvet comforter. Hoseok hovered over you, still suckling on your neck. Like a virgin, you fiddled with your hands for a moment before hesitantly placing them on his shoulders.

Hoseok chuckled lowly, pulling away to look at you and push your hair behind your ears. “You’re nervous. Don’t worry,” he murmured. He placed a kiss below your right ear and sent a quaking shiver through your spine. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Hoseok grabbed both of your hands by the wrist and held them slightly above your head against the fluffed pillows. Whatever sex dungeon he had teleported you to was perfect - the cool feeling of the velvet against your skin and the aroma of Hoseok’s devilish aura made your knees shake. Hoseok noticed this and ran his hands up and down your thighs slowly, lovingly. “You’re shivering,” he laughed. You turned your flushed face away from him. He continued to laugh at you softly before turning your face back towards him with his pointer finger. “I already told you once. If you wish to leave after this, I’ll send you back to your place in Heaven without hesitation...there’s no reason to be scared because I will do anything you ask.” He kisses you deeply on the lips. “That is how I feel for you, just after this short time together.”

His attention on you felt thick like molasses. He made you feel as though you were the center of the universe. This was wrong, and you felt it deep within you. Knowing this, you reached up to capture his lips once again and palm his cock through the dark silk of his pants.

Hoseok moaned happily and continued to kiss you again and again for what felt like forever. His tongue lapped over every crevice of your mouth at a painful pace before finally moving his hand to slowly thumb your clit. His movements were agonizingly slow - you assumed he wanted to preserve this moment before he sent you on your way home.

You let out a deep sigh into his mouth as he slowly, but harshly, stroked your clit and fingered the opening of your pussy and just a touch from your ass. He smiled over you as he watched and took in every facial expression and inhaled each breath of yours.

“Does it feel good? Please, please, tell me,” he moaned. You stared up at him in disbelief - he seemed on the edge of orgasming just from seeing you in pleasure. You had barely done anything but stroke his cock through his pants. “I need to hear you tell me it’s good.”

You smiled smally, reaching up to grab at his chin. “Yes, yes. You’re doing so good, Hoseok.” You fought back a giggle as he practically rolled his eyes back into his head at your minimal praise.

“Angel...please, let me eat you out...I promise I’ll do good, please just give me the chance…” He began rutting his hips against one of your thighs and you laughed out loud. At the sound of your laughter, he whined pitifully. 

“Are you sure you’re from Hell?” You laughed as he buried his face into your stomach, embarrassed. “Just get started so you can fuck me already.”

Things quickly took a turn for the stranger as Hoseok buried his face into your pussy and made completely lewd sounds of pleasure from this. He seemed to be enjoying this more than you and it made you feel both embarrassed and hot. The feeling of control made your lips tilt up in a sick smile as his grip on your thighs tightened with each moment.

“Y-You’re doing so well,” you mumbled after several minutes of Hoseok eating you out while trying not to cum in his pants. “S-so, fuck, good.” It was an odd game that Hoseok was playing, but you followed along gleefully. At your praise, he moaned loudly into your pussy and sent a shiver of pleasure up your spine. “C-come here,” you instructed, reaching to pull his head up towards yours. He let out a pant as he dragged himself up towards you, knuckles holding himself on the bed shakily. “Will you fuck me?”

Hoseok bowed his head to place a kiss on your sternum. “Anything for you,” he whispered, almost hissing like a snake. He guided your hand to stroke his cock for a bit, all while he loudly expressed and moaned for you. Heat continued to rise in your cheeks - Hoseok was scandalous.

“S-sweetheart, fuck, we have to start before I come all over your thighs.” You both laughed and he gripped your neck possessively, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

The pressure of just the first stroke had you rolling your head against the satin pillows. Hoseok seemed to be handling it in a worse way, as it looked as though he could already be finished in just a quick moment. You gripped his neck and pulled him closer before whispering to him, “How do I make you feel?”

Hoseok growled for a moment, before whimpering and burying his face into your neck. “Y-you’re a princess...fuck, fuck, I fucking can’t...a queen,” he moaned.

You threw your head back again as he picked up the speed of a jackhammer. He dove into you so deeply with such vigor and passion that you had no doubts he wasn’t mortal. Nobody but him could drill into you like this.

Hoseok reached down to get a grip on one of your thighs to perch on his shoulder. You moaned unashamedly and it made his pace jolt for a moment.

He continued fucking you relentlessly, occassionally turning his head to nip at your thigh. You turned your head to bring your gaze to the mirror in the corner of the room, proudly displaying Hoseok’s muscled back and his cock slipping in and out of you. You let out a breathy laugh and Hoseok began fucking you with everything in him.

“You like seeing yourself getting fucked? You look radiant,” he growled, pounding into you so hard you were bumped by the headboard. At a loss for words, you nodded, once again reaching up to hold his neck tenderly. He smirked down at you. “Ready?”

You let out another laugh, nodding eagerly. He smiled softly, too softly for a demon, and placed on hand on your pussy and one on your breast, all while keeping his inhuman pace fucking you. Just the touch of his hand on your clit had you in tears, but his skill in rubbing it tenderly had you screaming out. At the first sight of your tears, Hoseok came inside you almost immediately. The sounds filling the room were lewd, and the feeling of his cum filling your pussy and getting all over your thighs and ass held the same sentiment. Ever so slowly, he stopped pumping and delicately brought your leg to rest on the stained velvet. He kissed your lips slowly and lovingly for several minutes before wrapping you in his arms and just holding you close.

“You are perfect,” he spoke softly after the long silence. You drowsily looked up at him for a second before looking away shyly. “Tell me what makes you happy, and I will give it to you.” Another slow kiss to your lips. “Anything you’d like.”

You kissed back with hesitance, now eager to make your way back home after being held and kissed by him for nearly an hour of cuddling.

“I’m happy with the camellia.” You smiled and pressed a kiss to his jawline before rising slowly, looking around the room for a door.

Hoseok chuckled darkly, rising as well and holding your waist to bring you onto his lap. You protested, flushing deeply when he still planted your bare pussy onto his legs and let his remaining cum from inside you flow out back onto him.

“That’s not what I meant, darling.” He brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear and admired you closely. You looked away, twiddling your thumbs. “What is it that you would like in our living quarters? Would you like the flower shop from your mortal life, or perhaps the home you raised your children in? I could conjure another garden at the drop of a hat, sweetheart...anything you would like.”

His stare on you intensified as he spoke. Your heart rate picked up once he said “living quarters,” and you begged it to slow so he wouldn’t notice.

“O-oh,” you stuttered after a long moment. He kept running his fingers through your hair and it sent chills down your naked spine. “I’ve got everything I need at home...don’t you think it’s time I get going?”

You looked at him coyly, hoping he would keep his promise of sending you home afterwards. He laughed breathily and kept a large hand cradling the back of your head.

“You didn’t think I would actually let you go, baby?” Hoseok laughed out loud, throwing his head back. He pressed an urgent kiss to your lips. You did not return it. “You’re mine, even if you didn’t have my cum dripping down your legs. You were mine the second you set foot in my garden.”

You looked to him carefully and let out a nervous chuckle. The temperature in the room began to rise, though you stayed still on his lap. Hoseok’s smile deepened.

“I have to go home,” you whispered after another long silence. At this point, you were dripping sweat while Hoseok remained unbothered. “You said you would take me home.”

Somewhere inside of you had clearly known all along that making a deal with Hoseok had no way of ending well. You knew he would torture you and eat your heart for breakfast because Hoseok was a demon and that’s what demons did, and especially ones of his calibre - yet, you stayed. You knew he would end you, and you stayed.

“Darling...you’re so sweet.” He leaned in to whisper into your ear, “and stupid.”

In the blink of an eye, Hoseok had transported you to the desk chair in his office. He had dressed himself in a fine suit and yourself in a ruffled dress so white it hurt your eyes. You noticed now that his office was also decorated in that heavy red velvet. It made your stomach churn.

“If you really would like to go home, the door to my garden is here. I told you already.” He rested his hand on the doorknob and looked to you with heavy eyes. “I love you.”

You held back a scoff, knowing that he wasn’t asking, but demanding you to go past the door. For some reason, his last confession of love was more bone-chilling than the others. He opened the door for you and towered over you as you cautiously took the first step onto the soft bed of grass below.

A feeling not unlike what you felt when you first encountered Hoseok’s aura ran up your leg and struck your entire body. Immediately, you rebounded back into Hoseok’s office and dropped to your knees as the burning made you feel as though your flesh was dripping off the bone. You cried out as you repeatedly ran your hands up and down your arms and legs, reassuring yourself that they were still there. Hoseok let out a booming laugh.

He bent to sit cross-legged on the floor with you.

“It’s not real, baby. You’re just imagining it. See?” Hoseok grabbed your wrists gently and placed your hands on his face. “Look at me. You’re safe,” he chuckled. You still had to take a moment to catch your breath.

“I have to go home,” you sighed, exasperated. Hoseok smiled again, grabbing hold of your wrist again to caress it tenderly.

“Listen carefully, darling.” He pressed a soft kiss to your forearm. “I don’t want to have to say this again. You’re mine. I own you.” He intertwined your fingers. “I could rip your heart out in a second. I could feed you to my dog. Feed you to the assistant.” He ran a hand through your hair and lovingly held your trembling chin. 

“I could make you vanish with the snap of my fingers...now, or later if you want to act up.” You looked down in shame and he immediately grabbed your face again to bring it to his. “Take one step outside that door and I’ll have you up in flames. I could have your head on a fucking stick, baby.” Suddenly, he cooed, wiping a tear from your eye. “You are home. You were meant to get caught in my field. I was meant to meet you, and love you. I love you. Sweetheart?”

His hand that was holding yours suddenly contracted, squeezing your bones with a sick snap and pop. Through your cries, you sobbed out, “I love you too.”

He smiled sickeningly, planting another kiss on your forehead. “Remind me your favorite flowers. We can keep them in the bedroom.”

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[elizabeth-against-the-universe]

My ‘Candace Against the Universe’ Thoughts (Obviously Spoilers!)

Here is my ‘running commentary’ from my second watch through of CATU. I wrote it down in a notebook while I was watching (back on release day!) but only just got a chance to type it up! 

Obviously spoilers after the break

Such a Beautiful Day is SUCH a great start to the movie. It’s catchy, a really lovely song, and is the perfect example of a classic Phineas and Ferb song; great melody, and some kinda weird lyrics.

I noticed that the kids’ bikes were all strewn about on the drive as Candace runs in through the gate, super cute!

Phineas ran into the house to get started on Candace’s gift, while Ferb walked. Such an energetic boy.

I love that Vanessa made a U-turn instead of just reversing or stopping further up. It’s like she needed to check that it was actually Candace sitting on the steps.

ALSO what day does the majority of the movie take place? Is it the day after the giant juggling clown? Because if not, that’s a longgg day

Already lots of Ferb lines only a short way into the movie! I know David Errigo Jr. had a couple of lines in the MML crossover, but he’s really getting a good Official PnF debut!

Everyone has Smartphones! Instead of the flip phones everyone had in the series! That’s what we call progress!

The canoe is ridiculous from the get-go! I love it.

Even Perry’s watch has been upgraded!

Poor DE Inc is always getting damaged. Doof’s insurance must be through the roof (if he still had a roof)

I love the Alexa/Google Home jokes!

The whole smoothie scene is ridiculous, I love it a lot

You can hear Isabella arguing with Doof in the background about ‘starboard’, but Doof makes a good point, just say left or right!

The ‘Unsung Hero’ scene was really good, but it was hard to hear that actual song with all of the action noises going on. But the visuals were great to watch! 

The Welcome Song was ridiculously funny. 

FLOSSING! 

The song ends so abruptly, which is weird. Very PnF, but weird. And the door scene was funny but went on a few seconds too long.

The meaning of ‘Candace’ is so dumb, I love it. You can tell it was a joke made in the writers’ room and they were just like ‘we need to include this’

Candace, honey, you’re actually super special, don’t put yourself down!

Who else called it early on that Candace wasn’t actually ‘The Chosen One’, and that other humans would have the Remarkalonium as well? Because I called it straight away. 

The Space Adventure jokes fell a bit flat for me – Baljeet is too smart for the running joke to make any sense.

Every Isabella and Doof interaction is GOLD!

Why was there no payoff for the building noise joke (how Buford couldn’t hear the noise)?

The first time I watched, I didn’t notice that the funnel was present for loads of scenes (like most of Girls Day Out) before the scene in the dining room.

Also, Girls Day Out is a cute song!

I know Doof not knowing what a ‘click’ was was supposed to be funny, but what IS a click?

Adulting is one of those really dumb songs that is SO FUNNY that it’s good.

They do love geysers in Phineas and Ferb

Super Super Big Doctor and Candace’s handshake was cute.

WE DESERVE THE POWER BALLAD WE WERE PROMISED!

Obsessive, volatile, enchanting? Candace. (Aka Isabella, Baljeet and Buford nail the ‘describe Candace in 3 words’ thing)

The canoe smacking Doof in the face is so funny.

“Super Super Big Doofus” – one of my favourite lines. Isabella is just SO done.

“Okay, Isabella, while I love ominous patch related threats more than anyone” *Ferb clears his throat* “Right, apart from Ferb. Big fan.” – My FAVOURITE line from the movie! And 2nd favourite line overall, behind the one about ant pheromones. Phineas gets all the greatest lines.

Isabella has a Swiss Army Knife! Reminds me that she falls into the ‘looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you’ category.

Aww Baljeet so desperately wants to be in Buford’s gang in prison

Major Monogram has AWFUL timing.

The whole escapee scene was SO dumb. (I wrote on my notes that it was funny, but it kinda dragged. It was funny, but it was SO LONG) (We could’ve had a tiny Phinabella scene in the amount of time that scene dragged on for!) (Or Canderemy or Ferbnessa, literally anything) 

“I’m not… not… special.” Yes Candace, you ARE special! You just don’t need to be used to feed a mind control plant, is all!

The Battle Song was really silly and I found it so funny. Also, SSBD is dumb!

#BuildingMakesWeirdTone

Isabella giving Doof a patch is such a cute, quick little scene!

I LOVED the super-meta 4th wall gag.

16-year-old Vanessa can do Adulting, while the kiddos must wait until they’re 18.

“Selfie mode!” on the Chicken-Replace-Inator makes me giggle

The Axe-Inator and the ‘hidden’ self-destruct button made me snort SO HARD. I loved it.

Anything Phineas says is a good idea, usually (in reference to Phineas using a Space Adventure episode to help them out of a sticky situation. Obviously Phineas knows what’s a good idea and what isn’t)

Kitty Isabella robot! (I saw Carly reference this on Twitter and I was so confused until this scene)

Jeremy: “There’s an alien invasion?” I snorted again.

The double canoe payoff! Also “Yeah, yeah, I’ll make you a patch!”

When Candace ran off crying! No, honey, it’s okay!

“I don’t even drink coffee, I can’t do anything right!” Candace, honey, you don’t have to drink coffee out of a mug, you know.

I want the mug please. Can the Disney store please sell it. I saw Vincent Martella had one, please someone sell me one!

Why does Jeremy have gas masks in the Slushy Dog van?

The Jeremy and Stacy interaction was so funny! Especially Stacy’s teasing!

All main evil villains on Phineas and Ferb get redemption arcs. Doof, 2D Doof, SSBD. You’re not a main villain unless you get a redemption arc. You’re just a secondary villain if you don’t get one.

The ‘Vroblok’ joke at first was really weird, but when the boys did the thing for ‘Vlorkl’, it really gave the joke a great payoff

“OH!” as someone (was it Jeremy and Stacy? I didn’t note it down!) goes through the ‘O’ of the radio tower. So punny!

Candace is the best big sister, not busting the boys because it truly wasn’t their fault.

I LOVE Us Against the Universe! The choreography where they jump forward with their hands on their hips is so cute, I love that move so much, I’m not sure why, but it’s great!

Perry dancing in UATU! So adorable!

Bad timing again, Major Monogram.

And for the end scene: Hmm, why did they make the portal out of such flammable materials?

I loved the movie! Yeah, a couple of things were a bit weird, it dragged a little in some places, but overall it was AMAZING, and it was super funny! I really hope we get another movie! 

[the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee]

Emmy.

This is a callout post about discord user emmy, known for now as @eurydices-flower on tumblr, and her nasty behavior regarding her joining and then leaving a specific Riordanverse fan discord server. I don’t usually make callout posts but this needs to be addressed since she has vagueposted about my friends and been rude to them over DMs. I don’t believe she should be allowed to run around and make accusations, especially with people not able to find part of the story due to it being over private messages. So, with the permission of the friend whom she sent DMs to, I will outline her brief stay in the server and the aftermath.

It’s time you heard our side of the story.

Emmy (which is how I will be referring to her for the duration of this post), joined the Trials of Apollo (ToA) server on July 6th, 2020.

For the sake of chronicling how we know that she is also @eurydices-flower on tumblr, she says as much in her self-introduction in the #introduction channel of the server.

Emmy was in the server for less than 24 hours, before leaving voluntarily with seemingly no explanation. Naturally, we were confused and one of our own reached out to emmy on her tumblr blog to ask why she left. I blacked out the profile picture and url of my friend’s blog for the sake of their own privacy.

Let us go over this, piece by piece.

“yeah i’m alright i just realized constant negativity wasn’t rlly my game at the moment and i don’t necessarily have the headspace to ever deal with that.”

That is fair, she is encouraged to look after herself and her own mental state first. If she felt like leaving was the best course of action to take for the sake of herself, then she should not be judged for that. And it’d be perfectly fine if she left it at that! But, of course, I wouldn’t be making this post if she did.

“everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

Regarding the first part, “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”, there’s nothing wrong with this statement as it is on the surface-level. She is expressing that she personally does not want to partake in that particular kind of discourse. That is fine, she is not obligated to in any way, shape, or form. Though I do have a comment or three about the statement before we move on.

She could have muted the specific channel where that kind of discourse was taking place, which as far as I’m aware she never did. The ToA server has 2 specific channels for pjo discourse because members were uncomfortable with it being spread sporadically throughout the server, thus those two channels were made to contain discourse. If she was truly made uncomfortable by what she stated, she could have rectified that problem herself instead of leaving. But, after all, it was her choice to make in the end.

“but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle”Uh, welcome to tumblr Emmy? I don’t know if Emmy meticulously vets her tumblr experience so that she literally never encounters people bashing other people they don’t even know for their opinions, but it makes it a rather ironic statement considering tumblr’s reputation and that she has a tumblr blog. Heck, it’s not even unique to tumblr, it’s more of a social media thing. I can only postulate that maybe it made her more uncomfortable in a more confined and private space like a discord server, but I cannot be sure. Given she joined at the height of the Ace! Reyna discourse and the “opinions” she’s referring to are likely the aphobic rhetoric spouted by people who were astonishingly upset that Reyna was not a lesbian, I personally am rather uncomfortable that she dumbed it down as if it were merely “having an opinion” and not an attempt to invalidate ace representation in a mainstream media book series just because they were upset that they hadn’t gotten exactly what they wanted.

She retrospectively made herself a hypocrite. I’ll put a pin in this for now and we’ll come back to it.

“A lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with that opinion.”

There’s quite a bit to unpack here just in this one sentence. First of all, no one in the server knew she was acquainted with any of the blogs we were discoursing about. She never stated such at any point prior to this point. We didn’t know, and thus we could not even consider accommodating her before she left in this regard.

I’ve already expressed my own views on her dumbing down people spouting aphobic rhetoric to them merely having “different opinions”, but the server was not “spreading negativity” unless you define “negativity” as calling out people for their aphobic rhetoric and frankly disrespectful treatment of Reyna as a character as a whole. It’s not as beautiful and simple as “others don’t agree with that opinion” when said opinion promotes aphobia and tries to claim that lesbian Reyna somehow cannot peacefully coexist with asexual Reyna.

“I mean no disrespect to anyone in that server when saying that or this but i just truly hope you all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3”

This… whole line has the basic energy of “No offense but *proceeds to say something offensive*”. Emmy basically went, “I mean no disrespect but *proceeds to say something disrespectful*”. It’s especially rude that she told us that she hopes we “all emotionally grow as people one day and learn to be more respectful <3 <3” when she was the one that came into the server in the first place. Furthermore none of us owe our respect to the people that got so mad over a fictional character not being exactly what they wanted that they have to belittle and attempt to downplay ace representation. It’s not Emmy’s place to tell us to “emotionally grow” and “learn to be more respectful”, especially when in the aftermath she doesn’t put her money where her mouth is.

“Blacked out user: Ah I see. If I may ask, what differing opinion were you being bashed for?

Emmy: not me personally but to see the rr crit circus chat (Note: one of the discourse channels) filled with other people doing it to people not even IN the chat was what bugged me”

Has emmy never been in a discord server with a discourse channel? This is a legitimate question, because this is not behavior unique to the ToA server. All of the servers I’ve seen with channels specifically for discourse have done this. This isn’t some kind of uniquely shitty thing that the ToA server does that we should be morally ashamed of, especially when something similar goes on with people on tumblr posting screenshots of tweets.

“but also when i entered and said i didn’t have opinions on litpollo or medea and i was immediately kinda made fun of for it didn’t make me feel good, as well as saying i was ace and ppl going “oMG the LESBOPhObIa. again i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3”

Here’s what happened (different colored bars mean different users):

Now, despite the fact that the “r u human” in response to Emmy saying she doesn’t ship litpollo and the “i bet u r not ace u r just LESBWEEN CODED” are jokes, I do understand why those statements made Emmy uncomfortable. Emmy was a newcomer and not acclimated to the sense of humor of the server and to basically shove her the butt end of it was not fair to her. The latter joke especially would be difficult to swallow if Emmy didn’t know that an inside joke of the server at the time was mocking the people who insisted that making Reyna ace was a lesophobic act on Rick’s part despite Trials of Apollo as a series having three lesbian major characters (Emmie, Jo, and Lavinia). 

In simple terms, I agree with my friend’s reply and the apology they gave on the server’s behalf. Emmy did deserve that apology. Doesn’t make the “i hope y’all just grow emotionally and mentally <3” any less rude or unwarranted though.

As far as any of us were aware, this was the end of it. Emmy was a bit rude but we had our closure and as far as any of us knew the ToA server and Emmy had parted ways. And then this happened.

This post has since been deleted by Emmy herself, but before it disappeared it was archived by myself and other friends reblogging to respond to it.

It doesn’t name myself or any of my friends directly, but since we were quite vocal about calling people out for their aphobia when Reyna was revealed to be ace, it is assumed we were the target of the post or are at least part of the group that is the target for the post. If it is indeed the former it seems Emmy is vagueposting about us. Even if it’s not specifically about us, it’s not a good look for Emmy. Let’s parse this apart.

“funny how the people yelling aphobia when it came to Reyna were dead silent today when Rick went on twitter and was blatantly racist and disrespectful”

There’s several reasons why people weren’t addressing Rick’s tweets that day. Some of us don’t use twitter/don’t follow Rick on twitter. Some of us don’t check the #rickriordan tag or other tags like it. Some of us have other main fandoms that are not pjo. Some of us don’t follow blogs that reblogged the tweets and the responses to the tweets, or hadn’t reblogged them yet. Some of us might want to first watch the responses to the tweets because we are not Cherokee, Muslim, or educated enough about those topics beforehand and not dig ourselves into a hole. Just saying, just because we didn’t give an immediate response doesn’t mean we didn’t care.

“funny how they only care about representation when it applies to them and them alone”

Does Emmy know that plenty of non-ace people were defending ace Reyna? If she wants an example, I’m a bisexual woman and I’ve been vocal in my defense of ace Reyna. So her logic that “they only cared when the rep applied to them and them alone” falls apart.

“funny how they only cared Reyna was ace because it gave them the opportunity to harrass the lesbians who were hurting”

I don’t condone harassment but calling them out for their aphobic behavior was not harassment. They couldn’t express their hurt without belittling asexual representation and lacking so much self-awareness that they couldn’t realize how aphobic they were being. I’m sorry that they don’t have my respect for that- actually, you know what, I’m not sorry for it. They literally chained themselves to the concept of Lesbian Reyna and would not accept anything else, that’s their own fault. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the excuse to be an asshole to other LGBTQ+ people that did get representation.

"it’s almost,,, almost like you don’t actually care about these characters or color! that you just want the opportunity to clown and be bullies and abusive”

This is a very rich statement considering those “hurting lesbians” she referred to didn’t care about Reyna as a character. They only cared about Lesbian Reyna and nothing else. Some of them mixed up ace and aro showing stunning ignorance on the difference between asexuality and aromance. And now they’re playing victim because they got called out.

“if you want marginalized groups like asexuals to be represented, where’s your energy for pipers representation and characterization? samirah? where’d it go?”

Heroes of Olympus has been out for years. There have already been posts on tumblr before detailing the flaws in how Rick wrote Samirah and Piper, it’s not a new phenomenon. It just had a resurgence recently. Heroes of Olympus is old news so it’s not as fresh and hot as it was when it first came out so of course while discussions over the representation in it are still going on it has mostly calmed down until recently.

“i see you. i’m watching you. you said nothing. not a single word. not even a messy reblog of one (1) post about piper or sam. dead. Silence.”

Emmy gets a little creepy here and slightly stalkery. She doesn’t like us yet she’s watching our blogs? I guess the Blog Police is here. If you don’t reblog discourse posts about how Samirah and Piper were represented you’ll be arrested and pegged as a racist.

No one is obligated to reblog posts about Samirah and Piper. It’s not reflective of their feelings towards Piper and Sam. it’s THEIR blog and they are not obligated to reblog what others want them to. I hate to break it to Emmy but she can’t force people to reblog the stuff she wants to see.

“i don’t care if you think you ‘shouldn’t have a voice in this’ bc ur white or smth. there’s a difference between spreading posts about this terrible situation and trying to butt in with ‘i’m white but here’s my opinion’“

And here we finally circle back to the retroactive hypocrite point I put a pin in earlier. Here’s a refresher: “everyone’s entitled to be everyones own opinion but to bash other people you don’t even know for having opinions was too much for me to handle. a lot of those blogs are good friends of mine and it truly is disrespectful to harp on anyone for having different opinions but go around and spread negativity when others don’t agree with with that opinion.”

And yet she bashes people she doesn’t know and spreads negativity for… possibly having a different opinion than the ones going around right now or not interacting with it for their own personal reasons. Also not everyone who didn’t immediately jump on the Samirah/Piper rep analysis reblogs were white. Assuming people are white will eventually bite you on the ass.

After that post, she continued vagueposting on her own blog.

I seriously doubt she was sent an anonymous death threat because a friend of mine checked her account earlier that same morning she made that post and the Anon feature was turned off. Then, in the evening, she posted about having an Anonymous death threat sent to her without any proof. I’m not saying it’s not possible nor do I condone death threats, but I do have reason to disbelieve her.

IF she is still referring to her brief stay in the ToA server as that “scenario”, then she neglects to say that she did not tell anyone that she was uncomfortable until after she left. We are not mindreaders, we cannot tell when every single person we talk to is uncomfortable. So it can at least partially be held against you, Emmy, for a failure to communicate with us.

And finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

This DM was sent to a friend of mine, the same friend that reached out to Emmy following her departure from the ToA server. I can only assume that the post she is referring to is the one I covered earlier, prior to the “anon death threat” post. Let’s parse through this again.

“hi love! i noticed you unfollowed me around the time i made my post calling you and other’s silence on piper and samirahs blatant mistreatment today.”

Wow, you know what, scratch what I said earlier about assuming that the post was directed at me and my friends, Emmy basically confirmed it from her own mouth. Nice to get the ambiguity out of the way right off the bat. Also she’s seriously DMing my friend just because they unfollowed her? And assuming it was because of the post? She can’t definitively connect the two dots but if that was indeed the reason my friend unfollowed her I certainly can’t blame them. Especially given that this was Emmy’s response.

“i hope you realize you’re blatantly racist and just all around a terrible person for harping on the wlw community for being upset about their bad representationk because you had ace representation but don’t use the same energy for the people hurting that they don’t have native or muslim representation.”

It’s spelled “representation”, Emmy. Also the pjo wlw community was upset that REYNA was NOT a LESBIAN, not that they had bad representation. That was their whole salt. As a wlw myself, being upset about bad representation doesn’t give you an excuse to put down ace representation which a lot of them were doing. They have THREE lesbian characters in Rick’s books so far.

Also I thought the issue Emmy took with us was that we weren’t reblogging posts breaking down Rick’s tweets or pointing out the flaws in Samirah and Piper’s portrayal in the books. And now she’s talking about posting about people hurting because they don’t have Native American or Muslim representation? Which is it Emmy, you are sending mixed signals.

“i hope you educate yourself and realize you and the entire community that kept their silence are truly acting terrible right now. thank you.”

This is… extremely rich coming from the asexual who implied she has aphobic friends. I hope she educates her friends and realizes her and the entire community who bashed the choice to make Reyna asexual are truly acting terrible right now. Though given how she put the wlw on a pedestal and turned a blind eye to how aphobic they were acting I don’t have hope. The hypocrisy when she says that my friend is “truly acting terrible right now” when my friend dared to just unfollow her.

And that is how I will close this. She is still posting about the server on her own blog but that is everything major that has happened so far. On behalf of my friend, don’t harass emmy or send her death threats. I may not respect her, but I certainly don’t condone harassment or death threats. 

She is only 15, according to her own blog, but it does not excuse her behavior towards my friends. Being a minor doesn’t exclude you from being a shitty person.

[cherry-sofa-729]

Molt

Another fic! This one mentions sex and describes spiders and spiders moulting (also I spell moulting with a U I’m Canadian get over it)

———————

Moulting. The bane of Virgil’s existence.

He rolled over and checked his phone calendar and groaned. He wasn’t supposed to to moult for another two weeks! He didn’t wanna be in pre for two weeks!

But he knew what was happening, and he couldn’t ignore it. He already wanted to make a web mat. And now he knew why his appetite was insatiable the last few days, he had been building up his food reserves.

His mind flashed to him eating uncooked rice at 2 am like little crunchy boys. Yeah. Building up food reserves.

Would there be enough space in his burrow for a web mat? Probably, right? And he could web up the entrance so no one disturbed him…

That sounded super good right about now. But so did not moving at all.

Being half human half tarantula, he often had to battle his animal instincts with his human sensibility. For example…

Virgil flopped over and ran a hand over his stomach, trying to gauge if he was hungry. He wasn’t, but his human half was telling him it was breakfast time.

“Knock knock Virgie! It’s Patton and it’s almost noon so, time to get up.”

He rolled back onto his stomach, spider legs flexing and twitching to roll off the blanket and pick him up. With the legs crawling along his feel didn’t even touch the floor.

He grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and his usual hoodie, deciding to skip an undershirt that day. He pulled off his thin undershirt and sweatpants and slipped on his hoodie. He was glad all his clothes had holes for his legs to get through, and he was a master of getting them on.

Then he went to pull on his skinny jeans.

“God dammit.” He mumbled, trying to force them up over his hips and more importantly, his ass.

Why did has abdomen, or in human terms, his ass, have to swell up so much?!

It wasn’t enough to be noticeable, unless you regularly stared at his ass, in which case, creepy, but it was enough to make his skinny jeans impossible to get on.

He threw the skinny jeans to the side, balling his fists before heading to the mirror.

He knew it was bad to judge his appearance on his pre moult form, but he couldn’t help himself.

After staring at his slightly chubby stomach for far too long, he twisted around, trying to see his ass. He frowned. He was so fat…

He rolled his shoulders, his moult didn’t feel too bad right now, but it was certainly tight.

He rubbed his face, tired of the thoughts running through his brain and the anxiety of facing his friends like this.

But he found a pair of loose sweatpants that reminded him of when he used to moult with the dark sides. Days of lounging in his burrow, ignoring Janus’ and Remus’ well meaning attempts to care for him. At least Jay understood, as he had to shed his scales. But Virgil’s didn’t itch like Jan’s did, rather felt crusty and hard. But that was later.

“Virgil? Cmon kiddo you must be hungry! And you don’t wanna miss the video game tournament Roman’s set up.”

“I’ll be out in a minute Pat.” Virgil said.

“You said that last time. That was an hour ago, kiddo.”

Really? God, Virgil lost track of time. If only he wasn’t so spacey like this.

“Sorry, Pat. I’m just… a little unfocused today.”

“Oh! Are you alright, Virgil?”

“Yeah yeah. Just… spacey. I’ll be down… right now.” He opened the door and tried to smile at the freckled face below him.

Patton gave him a big grin that only faltered slightly as he looked at him. “Eyes out today, huh?”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t bother to hide his eight eyes today, he knew Patton didn’t love them, but still.

“And no skinny jeans! You must be tired today.” The more Patton talked the more Virgil wanted to be left alone. He wanted to curl in a little ball in his burrow and not move.

“Cmon! I’ve got lunch for you.”

The two went downstairs and Virgil grabbed the sandwich sitting on the table. Logan was eating a salad beside him and reading a book at the same time. However, when Virgil sat to eat, he put the book down and smiled.

“Virgil. Good afternoon. You had quite an extended rest.”

“I was mostly staring at my ceiling.” He mumbled, trying not to gag at the smell of food. He pulled a bit of bread off the end of his sandwich and even that was a lot.

Logan’s brow furrowed as he watched Virgil pick at his food. “Are you adequate, Virgil?”

“Huh?” Virgil shook himself awake. “Sorry, Lo. I’m fine.” He tried to take a bite of sandwich only to stop midway, leaving a bite mark in the bread.

Because right then his moult started acting up.

The slight tickle, the sudden overwhelming awareness of the hard crust on his back, Virgil was filled with the urge to slam his back into the chair to shatter the moult.

He compromised with a hard shutter, going on for several seconds. While he was shaking wildly, he threw his moult into the chair repeatedly, trying to right it somehow.

He didn’t register Logan snapping in his face for a moment. He rose from his trance with a final shiver. “Huh?”

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “I believe you have just told me a falsehood. I’ve done extensive research into tarantulas and your current behaviour lines up with a period of time called-“

Virgil slapped a hand over Logan’s mouth. “Shut up!” He spat, looking around the room to see if Patton heard anything. “Don’t say it so loud.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Virgil, there is no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I’m not…” he slumped into his chair as the logical side moved both their lunches farther away from them. His hand went low to trace small circles over his silk glands.

“Are you okay?”

“I wanna make a web.” He blurted, half asleep again. He stayed very still, staring at nothing as he rubbed his silk glands very slowly.

Logan noticed his fingers start to press in and grabbed his wrist.

Virgil hissed, trying to get away.

“Not here, alright? You can make a web in your room.”

He leaned back in his chair, sighing deeply. “I’m sorry. My brain is so scattered right now.”

“It’s perfectly alright.” Logan stood up and filled a glass of water for Virgil, getting the purple silly straw he knew he liked. “How about we tell the others and then they’ll leave you alone for however long your pre-moult lasts.” He put the glass in front of him.

Virgil grabbed it and began to drink. “It’s gonna be two weeks.” He spoke around the straw in his mouth.

“Oh? You have a schedule. May I see it?”

“No.”

“Alright.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Are you ready to speak with the others?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little, well, anxious-“ Logan reached out to pat his shoulder.

Virgil saw the hand coming towards him and flung himself off the chair in a panic. “DON’T TOUCH ME!”

Logan looked momentarily shocked before smiling softly at Virgil’s terrified expression. “Ah yes. You will be easily triggered and sensitive. Of course. My apologies, I should not have reached out to you. Now, I believe the best course of action is to inform Patton and your boyfriend.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“Are you worried how they will take it?”

“A bit. I know they won’t freak out, but they might… bother me.”

“Remember that whatever happens, I support you.”

“Thanks Lo.” Virgil smiled weakly.

“And I’ll try my best to make sure Patton and Roman leave you alone during this vulnerable period.”

“Roman won’t let me out of his sight if he thinks I’m sick.”

“That may be true, but I’ll do my best. He also won’t leave you alone with your larger-than-usual posterior.”

“Hey!” Virgil snapped, a hand flying to his ass.

“What? I am impartial. I am simply stating a fact.” He said with a smirky grin.

Virgil couldn’t help but blush, but he shrugged it off trying to remain cool. ”Ehh. That might be a stress relief.”

“I thought you were touch adverse during this period.”

“Well yeah, but Roman eating me out isn’t exactly a lot of touch if I don’t want it to be.”

Logan pulled a face, and Virgil burst into laughter.

They gathered in the living room after Logan called a family announcement. Roman and Patton looked up at him with wide, curious eyes.

Virgil gulped. He didn’t like the staring. It made his heart pound and his palms sweat.

“I’m, well, I’m moulting.” Curiosity changed to looks of confusion. “Um… I have to get rid of my exoskeleton? The coating on my legs. So, over the next two weeks I’ll be kinda holed up in my room? And I need you guys not to bother me. Don’t even knock, okay? Not even for meals, I don’t eat anything.”

Patton’s jaw dropped. “You don’t eat anything? At all?” As the mind palace resident chef and dad, he hated the idea of skipping a meal.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. That sucks!”

“So you wanna just go into your little cave and… what? Sleep?”

“Disassociate.”

“For two weeks?”

“Yeah. And I’d like to start now.”

Then Roman asked a very interesting question.

“Can we watch?”

It was lucky that Virgil was spacey during this, because otherwise he’d be freaking out.

He scuttled to his closet on thin spider legs, pulling out his extra blankets and pillows for his burrow. There were already some down there, but the more the merrier when it came to pillows and blankets in his opinion.

Patton, Roman and Logan watched his every move.

He set the blankets on the floor as he shoved his bed to the other side of the wall with a loud clang.

Underneath the bed was a hole, that led to the tunnel that led to his burrow.

He couldn’t stop the smile lighting up his face. He grabbed the blankets and descended into the cave.

Virgil’s burrow wasn’t big enough to stand up in, but wide enough to fully lie down and stretch out his spider legs so they wouldn’t get sore. The dirt walls were coated with soft webbing, dirt floor covered in squishy blankets and pillows. A room off of the main room was a completely modern and normal bathroom.

Hey, mind palace has no rules.

He added the ones he brought to the pile, flicking on the orange pumpkin-shaped fairy lights that strung around the room.

As the room filled with soft orange light, Virgil counted his water bottles and made sure his laptop was plugged into the extension cord.

He crawled upstairs and caught sight of his audience, still staring at the hole under his bed.

He waved them forward. “Come. Last change before I seal the entrance.”

A huge part of him roared in anger at letting others into his burrow, his private space. But he knew they were just looking.

“Slide on your butt.” He said as his legs carried him down nimbly and swiftly.

There was hardly enough space for the four of them and Virgil liked it that way. They were forced to stay at the door, peer in enough to see, but not enough to touch.

“Oh wow, Virgil. It’s so cozy!” Patton squealed, careful not to touch the webbing on the walls.

Roman came a little further into the room, reaching out to take his boyfriend’s hand. He pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“Please let me stay with you, my beloved. I won’t stay if you don’t want, but I’d love to help you with anything you need.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed, but it would be nice to have him here. If they didn’t touch too much.

“Okay. You can stay.”

Roman clapped his hands and Virgil plugged his ears. “Roman. Sensitive.”

“Oh. Yes. Sorry.”

“Go up and get your sword. Patton and Logan, leave.”

They did as he asked, and about halfway up the tunnel Virgil called to Roman again.

“Get snacks for yourself.”

Virgil waited for Roman to get back before webbing up the entrance.

“Oof!” Roman said, smiling as he flopped onto the cushions, throwing a stack of snacks and his sword beside him.

Virgil smiled at him, at his adorable prince. “You wanna watch something cool?” He asked, going about midway up the tunnel.

“Sure.”

Virgil focused, shaking a little before gritting his teeth and letting out a soft whine. Roman flushed from his ears down to his collarbone. And then he watched.

The silk flowed from Virgil’s fingertips, he ran a path from one side to the other, and back. Over and over. Like he was painting. Back and forth, back and forth. Letting out gentle whines to show just how good it felt for him to let out some silk.

The entrance got sealed with fluffy cobwebs. Then, they were layered on thick. Coat after coat of webbing would stop anything from entering his burrow.

Roman watched with awe.

Virgil stopped, out of breath. “That… was good. Always feels good, but that… was good.”

He came back and collapsed onto a pile of pillows. Legs stretching out as far as they could go.

“How are you, my sweet spider?”

“Tired.” Virgil mumbled.

“Nap, my dear. Cuddles?”

He stiffened and shook his head. “No.”

Roman shrugged. “Alright. I’ve got your headphones and laptop to keep me occupied. You sleep.”

Virgil smiled into the soft pillows as he slowly lost consciousness.

Over the next week and a half, Roman left the burrow, slashing through the webs with his sword, but always ended up back quickly.

They watched shows, movies, played video games, and Virgil slept. They made love a couple times, and Virgil disassociated.

Sometimes, when Virgil really needed to be alone he would lay on his back, legs up and eyes closed, and any touch or talk would result in a hiss. Roman left after this usually.

Roman was relaxing after making love once, completely naked and enjoying the sweet sight of Virgil’s perky bubble butt as he searched for his clothes.

“Hey baby, you’ve got a new birthmark.”

Virgil barely paid attention except for a slight hum.

“It’s kinda big and like all over your ass.” He traced the dark brown mark in the air with his finger.

“Oh yeah. It’s like, a temporary spider thing. Their abdomen gets darker in colour before a moult.”

“It also gets bigger right? And firmer?”

“Huh? Uh…” Virgil paused and tired to think of a lie that worked.

“Don’t think I couldn’t tell babe. You’ve got a Kim Kardashian ass right now and I’m loving it.”

“You’ve still got sex on the brain. You better not be getting excited because you’re dealing with it yourself.”

“C’mon. Come cuddle.”

Virgil sighed. “Okay.” He fell down on the cushions, rolled over and hugged Roman tight around his middle. His spider legs inclosed them both in a cage, keeping the world out and them together. “Only for a bit though.”

Roman let out a tired exhale, settling himself in with his arms around Virgil.

This was nice. He thought. It was nice that Virgil trusted him enough to have him here while he’s so vulnerable.

Virgil shifted, settling in, and a sharp pungent scent reached his nose. He scrunched up his face and leaned in to find the source of the smell.

Oh. His boyfriend smelt like a high school boy’s gym room. “Ew. You smell like B.O.”

“Fuck off.”

“Have you brushed you teeth or had a shower in the last few days? Or even changed your clothes?” Roman asked, not bothering to hide his disgust.

“Not really.” He hummed, rolling his shoulders to rid himself of the tight, hard feeling of his skin. Roman absentmindedly played with his hair.

“Your hair is real greasy babe.” Roman remarked, wrinkling his nose.

Virgil let out a growl. “I’m not taking a shower. Not until I’m done moulting.” He said, deciding to end the conversation there.

“Can I at least wash your hair.” He didn’t answer, staring off into space. “Virgil? Virgil?”

“Sorry!” He shook his head, snapping himself out of his hazy daydream. “Spaced out again. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine. But come on. You leaning up against the bathtub as I wash all the stress from your greasy, dirty hair?”

“Hmm. Maybe it would be nice.”

“It will be great! It’s what you need. A little break.” Roman really just wanted to get the tired, dirty funk off of him.

“Maybe it would be nice to have a full bath.” Maybe he could even fall asleep in the bath, he mused.

“Wonderful. It’s been a week since you started pre moult, you deserve it. And honestly, you reek so bad it’s reminding me of Remus.”

“Hey! That’s mean!” He pouted.

“I’ll run the bath for you my dear.”

Virgil sleepily got up and started stripping, even though he just put clothes on. If anyone should have clothes on it should be Roman, he thought, he’s not the one being bathed.

He let out a big yawn. God, this really zapped all his energy. Hadn’t he just taken a nap after they had a roll in the hay? And he didn’t even top, Jesus. If he had topped he might be passed out by now.

He stumbled into the weirdly human bathroom, straightening up to his full height. He yawned again and gazed at the bubble-filled tub Roman had prepared.

“Not yet, sleepy spider. Teeth first.”

Virgil froze at the thought of toothpaste. He hated, hated the smell of mint. It burned his nostrils and made him seethe with anger.

Roman chuckled and flipped open the toothpaste cap.

The scent permeated the room, or at least to Virgil it did. Explain! His mind screamed, but all he did was back away and let out a feral hiss, plugging his nose. He hated that smell.

“Oh right! Spiders don’t like peppermint. Or mint in general, I guess. I’m sorry my darling. Here. We have a tube of kiddy toothpaste. It’s bubblegum flavoured!”

Virgil hesitantly crept forward as Roman prepared his toothbrush.

“Brush your fangs, love.”

As Virgil scrubbed at his massive fangs and teeth, Roman admired the thick and crusty skin coating his back, stomach and legs. His ribs were showing after not eating for a week and a half, but he didn’t seem any worse for wear.

Roman helped Virgil into the bath, kneeling at his side as he settled himself.

Virgil sighed deeply and closed his eyes, the warmth of the bath seeping into his bones and establishing a home under his skin. He could hear Roman running something through the water beside him and he was startled slightly by the feeling of water running over his hair.

He opened his eyes to see Roman filling up a mug—one that he had clearly just summoned —with the bath water, before pouring it carefully over the back of Virgil’s head. Roman pushed his hand through his wet hair before cupping his cheek and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Virgil only had a moment to grumble about the touch before Roman whispered, “Shut your eyes, love. Let me worry about everything for now, alright?”

Virgil didn’t really think he could, not when everything was so painfully tense and every noise, smell, or movement gave him great stress. He did as Roman asked, however. It was hard to give up control—especially when he was as stressed as he was—but if there was one person Virgil trusted to take care of him, it was Roman.

The bath passed in a haze of warmth, soap suds, fingers scratching at his scalp and a washcloth running over his skin. Occasionally Roman would murmur something under his breath, but Virgil was too lost in complete exhaustion to really process any of it.

“Come on out, love. You’re all clean. I didn’t bother your moult too much, right?”

Virgil rolled his shoulders and shook his head, it felt fine.

“You can sleep now. Do you want clothes on?”

“Pants, no shirt.”

After Roman got him a pair of comfortable sweatpants, he changed and laid down on the pillows on his back again.

“Roman.” He mumbled, Roman’s ears perking up.

He didn’t wanna say he was sick of Roman’s company, or found him annoying, but he just wanted to be left alone. For a while.

Like for the rest of his moult.

Roman understood perfectly though, more than fine to leave his love to his own devices.

“And… can you like, clear out your shit? Please?”

“But won’t you be hungry after you’re done?”

“I’ll ask you to bring it down again. I just… I need to fully isolate for the next few days, until it’s over.”

“Alright, my storm cloud. I love you. G’night.”

And with a kiss on the forehead, Roman left.

The next four days were spent in lazy half-awake moments between dozing, or staring at the ceiling barely focusing. He no longer felt the need to do anything at all.

Except web. He made himself the softest, prettiest, most perfect web mat ever. Like a hammock of his own silk, it was the perfect bed.

He was lounging on his back when suddenly it hit him. He could get it off now. Might as well get it over with.

He made sure the entrance was sealed before flopping on his back.

His heart pounded as the hard skin down his stomach began to crack. His breathing came fast.

He pushed. And pushed. He arched his back up in an impossibly high curve. The skin, like a vest around his torso, broke at the arm holes, and it suddenly felt much looser.

A little more, Virgil, he told himself. He wiggled, spider legs squeezing in and shaking hard to free themselves of the moult.

“Ah!” He couldn’t stop the noise breaking through his clenched teeth. “Ah!”

His muscles burned as he clenched, trying to squeeze himself through a space much smaller than himself.

Fifteen agonizing minutes, fifteen minutes of shaking and tensing as his heart hammered in his chest, stressed and scared and trying.

Then he flipped, like popping the cap off a coke bottle, onto his stomach.

His tender, brand new stomach.

He scuttled away and up onto the wall of the burrow, looking at the moulted skin with disgust and anxiety.

His breathing relaxed as he realized he was done, finished for another six months.

He slowly, scared out of his mind at practically nothing, moved back down and set himself down on feather-soft pillows, letting his body rest.

He woke up the next morning and texted Roman.

You can come

You CANT touch me

Also I’m naked

Roman was down in a second. He was very quiet. Very gentle as he came down with a bag of barbecue flavoured crickets.

Yes, crickets.

“I know your stomach is probably really weak and you shouldn’t be having junk food but you love these things, and they feed the spider in you, so.” He shrugged and opened the package.

Virgil’s mouth started salivating. It had been two weeks without any food and his stomach was growling. He wanted to pour the entire bag down his throat but he knew that would be messy and probably painful. So he held out his hand.

“You want me to pour you some?”

He nodded, drooling.

“Alright.” He poured a handful of crickets into Virgil’s hand and watched as the spider popped them into his mouth one at a time.

“You look so pretty baby.” He remarked, eyes heavy lidded as he looked at Virgil. The new skin was extremely pale and looked as tender and soft as an overripe peach. He was slim and weak like a precious flower, Roman never wanted to protect anyone more than Virgil right now.

“No touches.” Virgil’s voice was horse. “I bruise way too easily.”

“How long with no touches, my love?” The soft plush skin was simply irresistible.

“A week.”

“Nooooo… a week with no cuddles? How will I survive?”

“Hey! I’m the one who needs to be extra careful I don’t hurt myself!”

“How sensitive are you, my love?” Roman said, wanting nothing more than to snuggle Virgil into infinity.

“Enough that clothes rub really uncomfortably. Wait! You’re ridiculously fancy all the time!”

“Yes.”

“Could you make me something silk? Something that won’t irritate my skin?”

“How about I line your hoodie with silk inside?”

“Pants too?”

“Sure. There. Get dressed, baby.”

“Oh that feels really nice. Thanks.”

“Let’s go get some real food in you, love.”

Roman looped a hand around Virgil’s waist and the spider leaned his head on his shoulder.

They two climbed out of the burrow, and Virgil was very, very glad he didn’t have to deal with that for another six months.

[blkmxrvel]

To Kree or Not To Kree

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x LittleSister!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (brief but there!)

Words: 2222

Request: May I please request a Carol Danvers x fem!reader where the reader is really affectionate, but Carol isn’t really cuddly because she’s not used to physical contact? Like, the reader really always wants to kiss/hug Carol but doesn’t cuz she doesn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable? But when Carol initates small bits of affection, like hand holding, the reader gets really happy, and it kinda makes Carol guilty cuz C feels like she doesn’t give R enough love. Sorry if this is confusing I❤u!!!

Summary: You want touch, Carol doesn’t. Carol loves you, you love Carol more. Natasha stands up for her little sister.

Warnings: Carol is a bit of an asshole but means no harm, Natasha is a #mamabear. Angst-ish, but fluffy nonetheless.

A/N: what????? madi managed to post a request???? bitch ik! im sorry it’s taken me so long I was in a bit of a rut there! but iam back and I really like this one. I sorta kinda tried a new writing style? If yall like it lmk. Enjoy!

Everyone says opposites attract, and with you and Carol, it’s quite obvious.

You’re the kind of person who thrives off of human contact and affection. You love anything that involves contact, hugging, holding hands, high fives, cuddling, the whole 9 yards. It’s what gave you the euphoric feeling that everyone craves.

Carol is literally the exact opposite. She stays away from physical contact as much as possible

She doesnt understand the need for it, she wants her space. She doesnt need to….interlock fingers with yours to prove that she loves you. She may have been human, but technically, her wiring was still Kree.

And do you really think they allowed measly… mortal things like hugging and cuddling to slide?

…

That’s what I thought.

You never made a big deal out of it, though. You knew that was just Carol, and you didn’t wanna be the kind of girlfriend that always nags and is never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve tried. Like that once time at the pier.

It was date night, you and carol, and Natasha and Wanda. It was group date:movie on the beach followed by street food and a walk on the pier.

“Group photo!” Everyone huddled together as Natasha stretched her arms to hey everyone in the photo.

You stood by your girlfriend smiling wide, you took a regular photo and then a silly one. You saw Wanda stand on her tiptoes to kiss Natasha on her cheek, so you figured you would do the same to Carol.

I mean…Natasha sure as hell got a kick out of it. And you and Carol were just as much in love and they were.

So, standing on your toes when Natasha went to take another picture, you pressed your lips to Carol eyes.

Big mistake.

Carol froze up, you could’ve sworn she was about to have a seizure with how tense her body got.

“You alright?” Thinking that you crossed a boundary.

“Yeah, Babe. I’m fine.”

You brushed it off and told yourself you were overthinking.

But you weren’t.

For the rest of the night, Carol basically avoided any contact with you, she didnt hold your hand, kiss you on your forehead. None of it.

You chalked it up to her maybe not being comfortable with PDA. You could get with that, I mean…it makes sense. She grew up in a time where people weren’t so open about two women loving each other, and a lot of people today still aren’t it made sense.

But then….Carol not only didn’t show you affection outside, but inside as well.

Everytime you initiated a cuddle session, she would always make some lame excuse “oh, it’s too hot” or “you’re crushing my bladder baby” and she would always play it off.

That happened a lot, like a lot, a lot.

So eventually, you let it go. You didn’t try to hug her, or hold her when she had a bad day. You knew she wasn’t going to hold up or rub your back if you came back from a particularly bad mission that left you with a nightmare. You knew that you weren’t ever going to have that. But you loved Carol, so you were able to deal.

Not being able to be intimate (not sexually) with the one person you loved most took a toll on you, of course it did.

Everyone could see it, especially Natasha.

Nat was your big sister, she was always the one who noticed even the smallest bit of a change in you.

So you bet your bottom dollar that Natasha heard the sigh you let out when she hugged you longer than usual.

This past mission was….brutal, to say the least. You had made it out by the skin of your teeth, broken toe and bruises and scratches everywhere, but alive nonetheless.

Of course, Carol was relieved that you were alive…and she told you that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. All she gave you was a little smile and peck on the lips. There was no bruising kiss, bone crushing hug. But, you were used to it.

Natasha though, quite the opposite.

As soon as she saw you, her little sister, walk through the compound doors, she gave you the biggest hug.

All you could do was hug back, let out the biggest sigh, and with that came tears. It had been so long since you’d been hugged so passionately. Since someone’s love for you was shown through body movements and physical contact.

Natasha noticed how you were reluctant to pull away, and how when you did. You looked drained, albeit refreshed.

She knew the mission was tough but this was something else. She knew how you looked when it’d been awhile without physical reassurance.

“When was the last time Carol gave you a hug? Held you? Anything?”

And when you couldn’t give a solid answer let alone a recent one, Natasha was ready to rip off a head. You calmed her down of course, saying how it was okay, but She wasn’t having it.

“Why don’t you just tell her how much hugging and affection means to you? You don’t deserve this.” Natasha huffed and crossed her eyes, eyes sad eyes looking into yours.

“Because it’s who she is, Nat.” You tried to explain. “She doesn’t do hugs or late night cuddles. That’s just her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well you do hugs, and kisses and holding hands and late night cuddles. That’s just who you are. Why are you the only sacrificing and making changes to who you are, when she’s living fine and dandy?” She threw her hands up, eyes wide and expectant with anger.

“Why is she perfectly sane and you’re losing your mind, hell yourself? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

Natasha was pissed yes, but it was coming from a place of love. And you knew you needed to hear it.

“I- I don’t know. I just love her and I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable.”

She sighed. Placing her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down. You smiled. “That’s not love, Y/N/N. You can love Carol all you want, but you don’t love yourself if you’re willing to allow yourself to be hurt like this.”

Natasha was right, she knew that. And she also knew that you weren’t going to say anything to Carol directly. So she took upon herself, as she should.

You slept in between Natasha and Wanda that night. Sandwiched in between your two favorite people family members. Don't…. Don’t tell Tony that.

.

The next morning, Carol jumped up at the sound of banging against her door. It was still dark outside, she didn’t even hear birds chirping yet. Who in the world could that be?

“I don’t care if your decent or not Danvers, I’m coming in.”

The door opened and in walked Natasha romanoff, still in her pajamas, but a wicked look on her face. She sat in the chair facing Carol’s bed, faced hardened and eyes raging.

“Nat what the-”

“We need to talk about Y/N.”

Carol’s eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “I- Is she alright?”

“No, thanks to you.” Natasha raised her eyebrows, attitude spewing from her body language. Spicy.

“What are you talking about?” Carol rubbed her eyes, it was too early to be dealing with yelling and accusations.

“Why haven’t you hugged her? Or kissed her? Or held her after her worst missions? Or told her it was going to be alright when she wakes up screaming from nightmares? Because I’m sure she does. We all do. But unlike Y/N, we have someone to calm us down and make is feel safe? Do you even love her?”

Carol scrunched her eyebrows up at that. “Of course I love her why are you asking that?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha tilted her head. “Because if you did, you would see how tired and sad she looks. How all she wants is a hug and kiss everyone once and a while from her girlfriend! How she just wants to hold your hand when you pass through crowds because they make her nervous and she doesnt want to get lost!”

Carol stuttered. What was Natasha talking about?

“She wants to feel loved. Because actions speak damn louder than words. And you telling Y/N that you love her means nothing if she doesn’t feel it.”

Natasha is pacing around the room now, rage fueling her words. This was for her sister.

“God. She sacrificed the one thing that grounds her the most because you are ‘comfortable’ with physical contact.” Air quotes. “Well too damn bad, Danvers. Sometimes we gotta feel uncomfortable to make the one we love comfortable. And it isn’t even unreasonable, its human! And before you spew that Kree bullshit at me, you have your memories back, and all the feelings that come with it. You know what it’s like. Y/N hasn’t been hugged or held in weeks. She thrives on that. That’s why she probably almost died! Because she just couldn’t think, her body didn’t have enough energy, enough…love to get out of their sooner.” Natasha wiped her eyes, red and puffy eyes before looking at her sisters girlfriend. Her voice cracked all through her rampant speech.

“So before you say, you love her. Do you actions show it? She may be here now, might he huffing it and powering through. But a person can only handle so much before they break. And I’ll be damned if I let you break my sister. So shape up, or ship out, Danvers. My sister comes first.”

And with that…Natasha was gone.

Wow.

Carol just sat in her bed, hair still messy and eyes red and teary.

What kind of girlfriend was she? Natasha was 100% right. She didnt give you enough love, and she feels like a complete ass for not caring. She knew what she needed to do.

The rest of the day went as Normal. You had no idea about the whole Natasha/Carol debacle. And it stayed that way.

You woke up, in a….surprisingly not empty bed. Natasha and Wanda were at your sides, trying to hold in their giggles as they watched TV to not wake you.

Spoiler alert: didnt work.

Natasha asked how you’re feeling, to which you said “better than ever.” They both frowned at that answer. They didn’t even want to ask when was the last time you and Carol slept in the same bed.

You all went your separate ways. It was Sunday, you had training and a debriefing to prepare yourself for. But you needed to shower first. Mentally, you were refreshed, being squished because two bodies and snug like a bug in a rug really gave your mind a boost.

You were sad that it wasn’t Carol on either side of you, but you didn’t dwell too much on it. Not a good idea to think too much.

You walked towards your room, turning the knob to get your things to shower.

You nearly jumped when you saw a disheveled Carol on your bed. Red eyes and a look of pure guilt when she saw you.

“Carol, is everything alright?” She stood up and walked over to you. She played with her hands as she tried to find the right words.

“I just- I.” You reached out to place your hands onto Carol’s, immediately pulling your hands back when you registered just who was standing in front of you.

Carol broke at that. Tears now freely flowing from her eyes as she covered them with her hands.

“You’re scaring me, Car. What’s wrong?” She pulled her hands down and stared at you, the tears never stopping.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled forward and warm, strong arms coming around your waist.

It was an odd feeling, a new one, and it took you a minute, but then you realized.

This is a hug, Carol is hugging you. Oh my god. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

You wrapped your arms around Carol’s middle, squeezing tightly as you laid your head on her chest. She squeezed harder, still crying, while words fell from her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever. I put myself before you and I let you not put yourself first. I should’ve hugged you everyday, and kissed you on your forehead when you were sleepy and- and held your hand when were in crowds and let you lay on me when you were scared. I’m so sorry. You’re only human and I denied you of the one thing you needed most. Please forgive me.”

You didn’t let go of Carol, or say anything else. You just squeezed harder, your arms coming to wrapped around her neck, as she pulled your body even closer.

Tears sprang to your eyes when you felt her lips press to your forehead.

Was this a dream?

“This was all you wanted and I never gave it to you. You never go without it again I promise, I love you. I love you and I’m gonna show you. No more Kree Carol, Human Carol from now on.”

You placed a kissed on Carol’s neck, smiling when she sighed in relief.

This was all you wanted, and you finally got it. You’re only human.

[thenixkat]

Voltron notes 1 (edited?)

Ep 1

No spoiler opening theme

Those are some skinny ass space suits. Shouldn’t they have like tethers and shit to keep them from accidently floating off?

Harvesting ice cores on Pluto or Kerberos or whatever

They wanna meet aliens

No one notices the ship until its right on top of them. Shiro just assumes its a hostile ship

Bullshit and lazy. Fuckin aliens speaking and understanding English

Also Shiro looks so much better with the darker skin. Like, bring back this look.

This ship is very green and that’s unusual compared to later lighting schemes 

Lance is a dick to his friend

Also, you’d think an air and space program would weed out the folks with motion sickness

Lance is overestimating the abilities of himself, the crew, and the ship

Welp, Hunk fucked up the electronics with the barf. Pidge fell from not using her seatbelt. 

Mutanious comments.  

Lance got the team killed

Iverson called them jackasses

I know I shouldn’t be mentioning stuff that hasent happened yet but like? How the fuck does Iverson not recognise Pidge? She looks just like her brother but tiny and that didn’t raise any alarms? She didn’t even dye her hair or anything? Also is her mom ok with this? Is she skipping out on her classes that she should be having as Katie?

Vomit is not an approved lubricant. Heh 

One of those chicks has green hair

Military exploration school

Pidge doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut

Lance is a fuckin bro

Why is Iverson chewin out Lance for something Pidge said?

Poor Lance

Lights out by five? And it's already getting dark?

Ok but Lance and Hunk in civilian clothes makes them stand out so much while they’re trying to sneak around. WHy not carry backpacks with their regular clothes in them while they wear the uniforms until they find a safe place to change. 

Lance is that friend who gets everyone into trouble

Have I mentioned that I hate fat jokes?

Also these kids are shit at sneaking. They didn’t even wait a minute to make sure the patrol dude couldn’t just turn his head and see them. They also made a shit ton of noise.

Pidge is bad at sneaking too, didn’t make sure she wasn’t followed and didn’t keep an eye out for anyone who might spot her on the roof.

Hunk is scared of heights

Pidge is bad at lying

Hunk is nosey af

Lance is trying to be a good team leader

Pidge is trying to uncover a government conspiracy and picked up alien radio chatter. 

If a teenager with little funds and homemade equipment can pick up alien radio chatter than the people who listen to the stars for a living sure as shit picked this shit up.

Lance doesn’t believe in aliens.

Hunk is scared of aliens

School is on lock down

Holy crow. Lance is a potty mouth

Hunk didn’t believe in aliens either

Pidge and Lance jump at the chance to go check out a crashed alien ship. Hunk doesn’t like this.

How the fuck did Pidge remotely hack a camera feed?

Ok but like it makes total sense for them to quarantine Shiro. He might have space pox.

Also Shiro’s skintone changes between 2 dif frames

Hunk neither knows nor cares who Shiro is. And is trying to be the voice of reason

I’m taking that as a fat joke. So fuck you show.

Where’d Keith get the hover car?

Where does Keith get all the explosives? Does he make them?

Lance spotted his eternal rival and doesn’t want to be beat in rescuing the hero. Hunk knows who Keith is

Pidge doesn’t know who Keith is

Why’d they choose that ugly ass tone for Shiro there? He looks kinda grey

Lance was not important enough for Keith to remember him

They’re making Keith take them along for the ride. Also that is not a vehicle designed to carry so many people.

Keith’s got snark.

Pidge yer not doing anything else the least you can do is be useful and keep Shiro from falling off the bike.

Hunk can identify every teacher chasing them

Keith is having fun driving while everyone else screams in terror

So Shiro’s just wearing Keith’s dad’s clothes

Convenient amnesia

Also Shiro’s got a generic ass masculine face

Keith can sense energy

So, those markings and paintings had to have been made by some Native Americans. Which group? What’s the timeframe? Those paintings are showing Blue do stuff so how long was her pilot still around and kicking for? Did she have other pilots before going into lockdown and just chose to stay on Earth? How’d she get to Earth in the first place if fish dude probably died in battle with Galra forces?

Lance hesitates b4 shaking the mystery alien cyborg hand

Hunk is nervous that there might be an alien invasion soon.

Hunk is nosey as hell and a bit of a dick

If I point out everything that is or probably is a fat joke I’ll be here forever

Hunk is smart as hell

Matching a wavelength of an element to a terrain carved by erosion? What? That’s not how anything works

Wait, if Keith has pics of the murals why didn’t they start looking there?

Yeah no those kids are hurt, possibly dead from that fall

The Voltron

The eyes have no pupils and the head isn’t moving, how can you tell the eyes are following you?

So did all of the lions pick these kids and college student from seeing them through Blue’s perspective? How does the lion choosing thing work?

Hunk states the obvious

How is Lance supposed to read the screen when the text is constantly changing. That’s not how computer.

Lance takes Blue on a joy ride and even Keith is not having fun

Also Blue is just fucking up the poor desert

Hunk is a little bitch who thinks giving people what they want will stop them

Holy crow. Hunk has a potty mouth.

So there’s just like a Galra ship right at Earth. The Galra know where Earth is and probably invade it. We just gonna forget about that? Like yes that ship is chasing the lion but nothing is stopping more galra going to Earth.

Shiro is the senior officer so Lance defers to him

So the lions can open wormholes on their own.

Hunk vomits inside Blue

Lance why?

How did none of them notice the castle. Like that is a massive ass castle

They just didn’t check to see if the air was human breathable

Pidge, why the fuck would the steps be bigger if the control seat of the lion was human sized?

Alien tech speaks english

Why do they reuse Cree’s voice for so much

Why do aliens from 10000 yrs ago fucking speak english

Also fucking elves

Also fucking Europeans

Rude. Allura’s first response to meeting an alien is insulting his species looks

Quiznak. Coran has a potty mouth

Also how the fuck do you know anything about this alien’s biology? Why the fuck would a sleeper hold fucking work?

SO why didn’t Alfor use the ‘strongest weapon in the universe’ to fight Zarkon? What, did Black not want any other paladin than Zarkon?

Alfor lies to children.

So how did they send away the other 4 lions? Alfor probably got caught and killed but like from that flashback ep the other three og paladins weren’t in their armor nor shown near the lions or anything. Did the lions hide themselves? Did they have other paladins that piloted them away?

King of the Galra? Bitch he was an emperor well before his fall you should know this.

Convenient amnesia.

How long is the average Galra lifespan?

Could Haggar not? Sense the Blue lion on Earth? How?

Also Haggar really went and got herself a whole ass monster husband

Zarkon calls in the squad. Sends Sendak to fuck shit up

Lance is not good with numbers

Sigh

How do yall even know the food in the castle is safe for humans?

Coran how the fuck u know yall the last Alteans left? Did ya fuckin look?

How the fuck did some nasty ass mice get into the fucking cryopod? How did they survive in a cryopod calibrated for an altean? Why are the mice necessary to the story?

How do the alteans recognize a galra battleship after 10000 yrs?

Lance starts a fight with Keith for no reason. Shiro breaks up the fight.

Did I mention that I hate body functions humor? 

Why and how did Alfor connect the lions to Allura’s life force?

Coran just straight up called Pidge a slightly less stupid than average primitive. Racist as fuck.

Lion’s choose their paladin so Allura just fucking assigns lions to aliens she’s known for less than an hour.

How does she know anything about these aliens? Its been less than 5 mins since she met them.

How the fuck does Allura know here all the lions are but the red one?

How do we know Voltron is the most powerful in the universe? They ain’t seen the entire universe

How do the Alteans know how long an earth hour is?

So an altean brought Green to this planet?

What the fuck kinda dumb ass rabbits come out of hiding when they know strange creatures are near?

To be fair, peaceful might mean something else in Altean. They are fucking space Brits

Hunk asks good questions when he’s not stating the obvious

Also that is a barren ass planet. But it was formerly inhabited.

Hunk rewires alien machinery while under heavy fire

Why does it take so long for yellow’s murals to start glowing? Was Yellow thinking about whether or not she wanted Hunk as her Paladin? Yellow really said if you want me you gotta put in effort.

The Galra were this close to getting Yellow too.

Pidge asks questions.

Who built that pyramid for Green and why did they let it get overgrown?

Pidge somehow didn’t break a leg from that jump

So I’m gonna assume that Blue told Yellow what was up

How well can Yellow move through rock?

Green really wanted Pidge. Like she was lighting shit up immediately.

So Blue actually got pretty damaged from regular ship fire and hiding the ground wrong

Hunk would apparently have let Lance die

Pidge and Shiro are some lyin ass bitches

Lord of the Known Universe. Most of the Galra empire is empty space

It took 600 yrs between a grandfather and grandson altean?

Lance and Hunk vote run

Pidge votes stay and fight

Um. Why would the Galra fuck up Arus when yall are the top priority? Like, sure they can come back for it but the lions are a bigger deal and thus they would chase yall over take Arus

Hunk is making very good points

Also Keith, while Sendak could destroy Arus and then come after yall. It’d be a waste of time and resources. 

Keith votes stay and fight

Shiro chooses not to vote

Alfor’s hologram admits he fucked up with sending the lions away

Allura votes stay and fight and I guess Coran isn’t voting like Shiro

Fuck you show. Why did we need eighteen thousand fuckin fat jokes?

Coran is an asshole

Ok but like that doesn’t look like a good chest plate? Like it looks like if they bent over they’d get poked/stabbed by it? And what’s up with the high sides of the belts?

What the fuck Pidge?! That coulda killed Lance or taken him out for a good while?

Wait, if the ship has a thing that can like just fucking make suits? Why can't they just make more bayards? Why wouldn’t Alfor design something to make more bayards?

Why doesn’t the galra ship have rear view cameras?

Wait! How the fuck do you cut a hole in a space ship and that not fuck with pressurization or set off any safety allarms?! The fuck kinda bullshit is that?

Sendak? Why do you expect aliens to know what that beam was for if you didn’t tell them?

~False surrender is a fucking war crime b/c it removed the option of surrendering for real if the need arrives so it leads to more fucking people dying~

No they didn’t Shiro. Battleships are things that get mass produced. If this is the exact same ship u got put in after the green one then that is bullshit on a cosmic scale.

Shiro is ok with letting prisoners die. Pidge is not, granted it's probably b/c she thinks her family might be on there.

Poor Mrs. Holt. She just got fuckin forgotten by everyone.

So Pidge has an outburst and fucking disobeys the mission leader. Shiro decides to help her just b/c he might know one or two of the people he was willing to let die. And they leave Keith with no fucking backup.

Keith would have legit died if the guards remembered that they have fucking guns and can shoot him when he dropped his shield. Which means Keith would have died if not for plot bullshit b/c his teammates don’t particularly care about his health and safety. Pidge and Shiro care more about the male Holts than Keith and all of the other prisoners that might be on the ship.

Wow.

How does Keith not hold this against them?

No the mice were not necessary, not if either of these dunces whent and opened the control panel from the other side.

That sounds like bullshit. 

Ya know I didn’t have any problems with Hunk the engineer being able to operate an alien elevator or drill by hotwiring shit. But I do call bullshit on Pidge reprogramming a sentry pod thing by changing the connection of one wire.

I still call bullshit on aliens speaking english and all atmospheres being 100% agreeable to humans. B/c that is bullshit

And why the fuck would the color of Rover’s lights fucking change?

… they only checked one fucking room for prisoners but that’s  it I guess? The fuck

Why did the Red lion let the Galra take her? Did she consider that one of the galra on the ship might make a good paladin for her?

Keith gets caught b/c his dumb ass starts shouting on a stealth mission

Keith, they already have the lion. Yer the one trying to take it

Like I said previously the guards forget they have guns and thus Keith lives.

So… how did Keith impress the Red lion? He fought people, lost and blew out the airlock. Which is still a loss if the lion didn’t feel like saving him.

Vore

Guards continue to forget they have fucking guns for plot reasons.

Hunk and the gang leave without destroying the enemy ship or making sure that its irreparably damaged

Coran, Lance, and Hunk have foul mouths

And this is why you fucking confirm yer kill

Why isn’t there a combine button?

Heh, Yellow’s face after slamming Red. Also Red looks so offended about being rammed. 

What the cheese

Hunk’s gone into panic mode and Keith has accepted death.

Shiro gives a speech and they form Voltron

Why are the bad guys giving them the time to form voltron?

Why doesn’t Voltron have a tail? Where does Black’s tail go? Voltron should have a tail.

Any other prisoners on that ship are dead as fuck

How did I watch this show  the first time? It's not good. It’s pretty but it is not good.