#also u can briefly hear my sister talk for a second??? we were watching the movie together. this post is a mess.

[bakubub]

In which Racer!Kuroo is your roommate and you finally learn more about him...

Warnings: Mentions of loss of loved one, disregard for own life, swearing, innuendos and implied nsfw (but sfw overall), fem!reader with she/her pronouns.

A/N: Idek what this is. Its literally a 4.6 k mixture of fluff, angst and comfort... I rewrote this like 4 times :,) being a perfectionist is so,,, tiring.

This takes part shortly after this, you can definitely read this without reading the 'part 1' if you will, since they don't depend on one another.

Art belongs to @aikk00 ,, and yes I am still in love with it :D

I stumble out of the lecture hall, my eyes so heavy I bump into about 3 other students and mumble my apologies until I fully wake up and snap out of my daze.

Walking down the stairs and making my way to the bus stop, I watch in horror as the bus I was supposed to be in drives off, going fast for once in its damn life as if mocking me.

Inhaling sharply through my nose, I manage to keep my composure and sit down at the bus stop, telling myself the next bus will be here in a bit.

It's fine. It's fine. I slept through the lecture, and I still have to catch up on 4 subjects and make dinner, but at least the house is clean and I'm caught up in that one subject I picked up for this exact reason.

It's fine. It's going to be just fi-

The rumble of a loud engine breaks my shitty but somewhat effective self-reassurance motto and I open my eyes to see a black and red sports car going 60 km/h in a 30 zone, effectively getting mine and everyone else's attention.

I watched in horror for the second time today as this time it stopped right in front of the bus stop. No, no, no, no.

No.

Please no.

He rolls down the passenger window with that ridiculous hair and a shit-eating grin, as he nods towards the seat, revving his engine.

I look away, pretending he's not looking directly at me and that I don't live with the guy, which I immediately regretted when he beeped the fucking horn.

What did I do to deserve this humiliation?

I hastily put my head down as he beeped it again, giving up and rushing towards his insufferable car, getting into the passenger seat and slumping in my seat to keep my head down low.

"What is wrong with you? What are you even doing here?" I hiss, my glaring up at him from my awkward, folded position.

He laughs, and when I hear the sound of a photo being taken in the split second I looked away to readjust my bag, I sit up straight, watching him continue speeding as he stuffs his phone into his pocket.

"Are. You. Trying. To. Kill. Me?!" I ask, my voice little less than a screech as I slap his arm with each word.

"Ow, ow, I just came to pick my roomie up! I sensed you needed a ride, and this is the thanks I get?" he asks, that smirk I have come to hate returning to grace his features.

I glare at him, but a small, sleep-deprived part of my brain is distracted by his appearance. A tight black tee adorning his built figure, his biceps are on display as he drives with one hand, the other resting on the gear shift. The air from his rolled down window is ruffling his hair this way and that, and I find myself wanting to run my hands through the raven strands, just as I had when I washed his hair that one time...

"Wait- how the fuck did you know I didn't have a ride?" I ask incredulously, my reaction time clearly delayed but here nonetheless.

I narrow my eyes as he hesitates before he answers, "I just knew, ok? It's not like it’s astrodynamics, not that I can't figure that out too."

"Kuroo, what the hell is astrodynamics? Are you like, spying on me or something?" I ask, pretending to look out the window so as to not get distracted by his appearance once more.

"What do you common folk call it? Rocket science?" He says, once again exceeding the speed limit.

"If I'm a commoner, does that make you a peasant? Also, stop going so fast, I feel sick and I do not feel like dying today."

He rolls his eyes in response as he slows down by a smidgen, the speed meter barely even moving. "Seriously, you may have no consideration for yourself, but I still have a lot of things to achieve with my damn life so slow the fuck down." My words finally reach the rational part in him and he slows down considerably, now going within the speed limit.

Taking a deep breath, I rest my elbow on my door and look out the window, my mind flooding with thoughts about Kuroo's reckless driving and how it can all go sour with one delayed reaction.

Before I know it, we're rolling up to our apartment building, driving into his private garage only the penthouse owners get to use.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, filling the silence in the car.

"It's ok. I just... I want you to be safe. I know its hard, but... just try," I say quietly, unable to look at him.

"That's what he said," he says hastily before rushing out of the car before I can hit him.

Getting out of the vehicle myself, I send a murderous look his way and run after his retreating form.

A small part of me is grateful that he's acting like his usual unbearable self again, but the rest of me is just mad at his relentless sex jokes.

He hits the elevator button before I can get there and I watch the doors close, his smirk practically shining through the crack of the closing doors. I jam my foot in the middle at the last possible second, and smile victoriously as I get into the metal box and slap his arm once again.

"Ooh, do it harder," he practically moans, and my eyes just about pop out of their sockets in embarrassment as my face flushes a deep red.

"Oh shut up," I mutter, turning around and waiting patiently for the doors to open on the top floor. I hear him snicker and then the sound of a photo being taken, turning around sharply. I yell in defiance and throw my bag on the floor as I jump onto him in an attempt to grab his phone out of his hand and delete the probably unflattering photo.

I straddle his back and reach for the phone he easily holds out of my reach. Leaning across his shoulder in a feeble attempt to reach it, my feet are hooked around his chest and my other hand is using his shoulder as a brace. He's laughing hard at this point, and I'm screaming at him to give me the damn phone. Neither of us notice the elevator doors opening nor the small woman standing at the threshold staring at us in shock and amusement.

"Kuroo Tetsuro! You let that poor girl down this instant, young man!"

We both froze at the authoritative voice, slowly turning to look at a small dark haired woman with a straight shoulder length cut and narrow gold eyes that were glaring at the man under me.

"MUM!" He exclaims, setting me down and running to hug and kiss the woman, his mum apparently. "What are you doing here?" I hear him ask as I straighten myself out, fixing my jumper and tucking my hair behind my ears, picking up my bag off the floor and quickly following them out of the elevator.

"What, a mother needs an excuse to come visit her boys? Where's Kenma?" She asks, looking in the elevator again as if to check if she missed him.

"Oh, he's at his own place. Apparently he has a booked in session with this famous gamer today. Did he say he'd be here?" Kuroo asks, letting go of the woman and leaning on the wall.

"No, I didn't tell anyone I was coming to visit. Never mind that, who's this pretty young lady here, hmm?" She asks, raising a perfectly shaped brow as she walks towards me, the click of her heels echoing in the lobby of the penthouse.

I smiled down at her, since she was considerably shorter than even me, and introduced myself. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuroo." I say, bowing.

"Oh no, no, none of that. You can call me mum too, hmm?" She says, gesturing me up from my bow and pulling me down for a tight hug.

"Oh, um, actually, me and Kuroo aren't-"

"We’ll talk more comfortably inside, no? Tetsuro, is your plan to let me stand here all day?” She asks, letting me go and turning around to look at Kuroo.

Kuroo leaps into action, taking his mum's bag and unlocking the door, helping her out of her heels and leading her into the spotless penthouse.

It was all I could do to nod in response, closing the door behind us and walking down into the kitchen to prepare a meal.

It’s crazy how much I don’t know about this guy. He’d never mentioned his mother before, and briefly mentioned that he has a sister, whether older or younger I have no idea. Kenma, however, I know well. The guy was here all the time when I first started living here, but recently I've seen him less and less. Which is a shame, considering we actually got along quite well, with sharing eye rolls and bonding over our mutual love of Minecraft.

I don't notice silent footsteps following me until Kuroo's Mother says "now, why's a beautiful girl like yourself slaving away in the kitchen? Does that boy make u do all the cooking and cleaning like some mid-century housewife?"

I poke my head out of the fridge, smiling at her fair assumptions, "no, no, it's not like that at all. I actually-"

"Uh, mum! You know I'm incompetent with this stuff. This place would be a mess if she wasn't here to run things! Plus, she loves to cook and finds cleaning therapeutic. Hey, her words not mine," Kuroo quickly jumps in, putting his hands up defensively when she looks at him with a raised brow.

Looks like he doesn't want his mother to know of our little arrangement.

"Right. He's just so hopeless, I can't trust him to do anything," I add on, sending her a smile as I prepare the fish he likes.

"You're making grilled mackerel for dinner?! Oh that's gonna hit the fu- the fun spot," he says, saving himself at the last second.

I hold back a snort as I take out a pan, "open the window, fish boy. It's about to stink here and I can't be bothered with Mrs. Suzuki coming all the way upstairs just to complain about the fish smell, and then complaining that she had to come up here in the first place. God, I hope she isn't sitting on the balcony today," I ramble, trying to see her balcony from outside the window, but fail because of the private location.

Damn these amazing architects.

I hear his mum chuckle at my rambling as she begins to take out ingredients for a salad. "Oh, you don't have to help, please sit and make yourself comfortable," I say, moving towards her to take the lettuce out of her hands.

"No, no, I'd like to pitch in. Now what kind of mother-in-law would I be to let you do everything yourself?" She asks, holding the lettuce away from me and walking over to the sink.

I stare at the back of her head, a flush creeping up my neck, "m-mother-in-law?!" I ask incredulously, glancing over at Kuroo who looked suspiciously... Smug. I look away quickly when he meets my eyes, and I hastily hyper-focus on the fish in front of me, placing it on the heated pan, causing sizzling and popping to fill the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry darling, I don't mean to be overbearing. Tetsuro introduced you as his girlfriend, so I thought things were getting serious since he actually allowed us to meet one another. You see, he’s never introduced me to a girl before, so you can imagine my excitement. I can stop if you're uncomfortable-"

I cut her off, feeling even more embarrassed as I realise the role I am to play in Kuroo's life when his mother is around. I mean, it makes sense, he can't exactly just admit he took a random girl into his house.

"I, um, no really it's fine, I understand" I say, my voice small as I flip the fish.

She lets out a delighted laugh and pulls me down into a hug once more. The smile on my face is genuine as my embarrassment melts away, the bright smile of this woman comforting me.

"So, how did you guys meet?" She asks, chopping up the ingredients for her salad on the bench while I'm at the stove, Kuroo leaning on his elbows on the bench.

"At uni," I answer at the same time as Kuroo states, "at a party."

We both look at each other with wide eyes, and I clear my throat to clarify, "at a uni party. A classmate of ours hosted one and we met each other there."

"I see, so the old boozed up one night stand turned into quite a domestic relationship hmm?" she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows at Kuroo.

"What? No, no, I would never! A one night stand? Booze? Please, what kind of man do you take me for?" Kuroo complains, looking offended.

I turn around towards the stove and roll my eyes. I've heard the rumours around campus, practically every girl in my lecture hall can testify to at least making out with the man. He really puts up a façade for his mum.

I hear the doorbell ring, and quickly take the fish off the stove to go answer it as Kuroo bickers with his mother about how innocent he really is.

"Hello? Who is it?" I ask, pressing the buzzer.

"Uh, hello? Is this Tetsu's place?" A deep voice answers. I look at the camera, seeing Kenma and a bunch of men about Kuroo's age looking confused. The one who answered is a guy with a blond mohawk and piercings adorning both ears.

"Yes, just give me a second," I reply. "Kuroo, I think Kenma and the rest of your friends are here? Should I let 'em up?" I shout out.

"Yeah let 'em in," he calls back. I press another button, letting them into the lobby.

I need to make more food.

Quickly taking out my frozen dumplings I stocked up for emergency dinners for days I couldn't be bothered to make anything better, I whip up a quick sauce, thinking I could split the fish and put it in the middle of the table so everyone can take their share.

"I do apologise darling, I let my Kenma know that I came to visit and he must have told the boys. I think they've all come to see me," Kuroo's mum confesses.

"You must be a very loved woman if they came all this way to see you. And it's no worries really, I'm always prepared for guests," I say, putting her at ease.

She beams at me as the door is banged loudly.

Kuroo mutters something about “rude assholes'' as he goes to open the door, a group of tall men making their way through the threshold.

"Hiya cap'ain," the mohawk guy says, patting Kuroo on the back. A tall, light brown haired man was next to greet him, then proceeded to exclaim "MUMMA KOZUME!!" and practically jumped onto the poor woman.

Wait, did he just say Kozume? Isn't Kenma's surname Kozume?

"Hey mum," Kenma greets, kneeling down to hug Kuroo's mum.

Who's mum is this lady?! I swear to god I'm going to go crazy.

"Hello hello everyone," A massive grey haired guy says, kissing Kuroo's mum on the cheek and hugging Kuroo.

The last guy to greet them is a tan guy with a buzz cut, and he does the same as his friend before.

"So Kuroo, when di'ja get yourself a girl, huh?" The grey haired guy asks, looking offended that he didn't know before now.

I raise my eyebrows as Kuroo just smiles guiltily. He introduces me to his friends and I wave hello, as they all begin to introduce themselves.

The grey haired guy says his name is Lev and that he's half Russian. A weird detail to include but interesting I guess.

The light brown haired man introduces himself as Yaku, and says that he was Kuroo's senpai back in high school.

"Yeah a demon senpai," Kuroo mutters in reply. My smile quickly turns into a grimace as Yaku jumps on him and they both start brawling on the floor, making a loud ruckus. A loud thumping can be heard from downstairs as Mrs. Suzuki starts to lose her mind and continues to bang the handle of her broom to her ceiling.

"Ugh, you morons upset Mrs. Suzuki! She's going to talk my ear off next time I see her..." I complain, grabbing a cushion and throwing it at the boys.

They flinch at my anger and quickly get up, muttering a quick apology. My glare softens as mohawk introduces himself as Yamamoto, and the tan guy says his name is Kai whilst vigorously shaking my hand.

"It's very nice meeting all of you. Dinner will be ready in a bit so please just make yourselves comfortable," I announce, making my way back into the kitchen.

The boys, all sporting grins, make their way to the living room and sit on the couches, man-spreading and slouching all over the place, one person taking up the usual spot for two.

I sigh, focusing on the dumplings in front of me.

I stiffen as I feel large hands on my waist, and a presence behind me. Visibly relaxing once I realise it's Kuroo, I turn around, his hands still resting on my hips, and his face nestled in the crook of my neck.

"Please just go along with it. We have to act like a couple if they're going to believe us," he mutters, his hot breath causing shivers to run up my spine.

I simply nod, instinctively placing my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair, something I've wanted to do since that day.

He groans into my neck, and I find myself holding my breath as I continue my hand movements.

"OI LOVEBIRDS! MUM SAYS THE DUMPLINGS ARE GONNA FUCKIN' STICK! Ow! Oh, sorry," I snatched my hands back from Kuroo, pushing his chest, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

What the fuck am I doing?!

I turn around back to the stove, mixing the dumplings in the boiling water as my thoughts race.

That felt too real, too much like a real relationship.

And way too addicting, apparently, since I already miss his close proximity.

The warmth on my waist disappears as I hear Kuroo running back into the living room.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON, THE DUMPLINGS ARE FINE!" I hear him scream, and then a loud thud as he presumably tackles whoever yelled at us to the ground.

I sigh as I hear Mrs. Suzuki's muffled thuds from downstairs in record time.

"You know I'm going to have to make Mrs. Suzuki some kind of apology cake because you boys can't sit down and act like adults," I complained, my arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on my face.

Lev and Yamamoto are on the floor playing some kind of Connect 4 game I've never seen before, while Kai looks to be having a deep conversation with Kuroo's mum, who is perched on the single arm chair like the queen she is.

Kenma is hogging the tv playing some kind of video game on Kuroo's ps5 (which I've hogged on more than one occasion), and Kuroo on the other hand has Yaku in a headlock.

He immediately lets go and apologises, and so does Yaku, who even bows in his regret.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at his mum, who just laughs, and I make my way back into the kitchen, setting food on the table and calling them in to eat.

After dinner, I find myself showered in compliments and not a bite of dinner leftover for tomorrow's lunch. Damn I'm good.

I served up cake I had already prepared from earlier along with fruits I washed and set on plates, and watched as that was eaten and finished before I even sat down. Kuroo's mum scolded the boys for poor manners, and they all apologised. Well, all except Kuroo, who just wiggled his pierced brows and winked at me.

I sit down on the floor next to the couch, since it was all occupied, and hear a dissatisfied sound coming from Kuroo's mum.

"Now, now, sweetheart. You don't have to be shy around me, just go on and take your usual seat next to Tetsuro," she says, nudging her head in Kuroo's direction, where the only vacant spot was literally his lap.

I look at her with wide eyes, even Kuroo seems taken aback by her suggestion, and all the boys are immaturely ‘oohing’ loudly as they laugh and make fun of us.

Kuroo makes a gesture for me to come next to him, so I hold back my heavy sigh, try my best to hide the flush on my face, and walk towards him, awkwardly perching on his knee.

He chuckles as he grabs my waist and pulls me flush towards his chest, my butt in the corner of the couch and my legs resting diagonally over his, so that my head is directly in the crook of his neck.

I hate to say it, but this is actually really damn comfortable.

Conversation has started up again, but it becomes secondary to the beat of his heart right under my ear, and my eyes start to get heavy as his scent and warmth lull me to a comfort that is beyond being awake and alert.

---

Kuroo's POV

"What a cute girl she is, Tetsu. I'm so glad you've found her. And now that you've got her, you better. Not. Let. Go." She says, slapping me on the arm with each word of her last sentence.

What is it with women and slapping me?

"Ok, ok, I know mum, I won't stuff this up. I promise," I respond, smiling at her.

"Ok, well, I'm staying over at Kenma's house. Ah, no objections. You've already got your hands full, and I don't want to be in the way of young love. Plus, I'd rather listen to Kenma's midnight streams than you two in the middle of the night," she says, not accepting my objections and giving me a knowing look. My face warms to what she's insinuating, and I mutter a quick, "it's not like that," as I duck my head into Y/n's shoulder.

By this time the boys have all left, Kenma's downstairs waiting in his car for his mum to come, but she insisted on staying back for a few minutes to talk to me.

Y/n fell asleep a while ago now, still nestled on my lap, her head on my shoulder and her figure keeping me warm.

"I know exactly how it is, my darling. I've seen how you two act, pretending to be in a relationship just so we don't ask any uncomfortable questions. I won't meddle in your life, I never did, Tetsuro. But I will give you advice I expect you to consider. Don't let her go. Neither of you were pretending about your feelings towards each other, let me tell you that much." She says, knowingly looking at me.

I look up in alarm, which quickly morphs into a nervous laugh. She's good, I'll give her that much.

But, can Y/n really mirror my feelings?

"Ok darling, better not leave Kenma waiting any longer. I'll visit again tomorrow, or you can come over to Kenma's, whichever you prefer as long as she comes along too. I want to get to know my future daughter-in-law better!!"

With that, the woman who took me in and treated me like her own left my home.

I look down at my roommate, taking in the way her lashes are long enough to brush against her face, the way her brows are just a tad bit asymmetrical, the stroke of her nose and the bend of her cupid's bow.

I can't help but bring my hand up to caress the side of her face, content to stay here forever.

Mum would've loved her.

This thought broke the dam that held back my tears since middle school, and as they fell down my face I couldn't help but think of my own mother, coming in and hugging her, making her famous pie that I can't remember the taste of anymore. A sob racks my figure and I all of a sudden find a pair of e/c eyes staring up at me, my tears having dampened some parts of her face.

Wordlessly, she straightens herself and wraps her arms around my neck, running her fingers through the back of my head, stroking down towards my nape and up again. I cry into her shoulder, tears that I've bottled up, emotions I've ignored because I've had my dad, my grandparents and the Kozume's. Later, I even had the team, and they all followed me to the racing gig, a place where I can express my emotions through the reckless driving that could claim my life any second. I should have been grateful. Instead, the pain of her absence never ceased.

I clutch the back of her sweatshirt as I cry and cry and cry, eventually tiring myself out and running out of tears.

With dry sobs still racking my body every few minutes, she finally leans back, cupping my face in her gentle hands.

"What's the matter, Kuroo?" She whispers, looking up at me with tears shining in her own eyes. "You can tell me anything, or you can say nothing at all. Either way, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you," she says, touching her forehead to mine and closing her eyes. She stays here for a moment before moving to get up and drag me up too.

"Come on, let's get you into your pjs and into bed. It's getting late."

---

Your POV

Now in his usual shorts and singlet, I drag him to his massive bed, opening the neatly made bed and gently sit him down.

His hazel eyes follow me as I go to close the curtains, his lashes still wet from the countless tears he shed, his body still hiccupping with dry sobs.

Once I've put his blankets around him, I go to leave, muttering a goodnight as I leave.

"Y/n," I hear before I close the door. I peek my head in, "please stay."

Without a pause to think about his request, and already in my own pyjamas, I go next to him and crawl into his open arm as if I've been doing it every night, snuggling into his shoulder once more and wrapping my arm around his chest.

After a few moments of silence, he begins to speak in a raspy tone, "she's not my real mum. She's Kenma's mum, and I've... I've called her mum since I was around 7," he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I moved in with my dad and grandparents next door to the Kozumes when I was 6. I was nervous and shy back then. You wouldn't even recognise me because of the 180 turn my personality's taken. Kenma was even more social than I was. He was my first friend, and when I got him into volleyball and we met Coach Nekomata. That man inspired me to be the man I am today, and was the main reason why I joined the volleyball team in high school, and made friends with the guys. He did what my mum should've, supported me and gave me the confidence to live my life," he says, his voice cracking with the last word. I hug him tighter, knowing not to say anything as of yet.

"I just wish... I wish she didn't go. I wish she could've met you, Y/n. She would've loved you even more than Kenma's mum does," he confesses with a chuckle, sniffling and turning towards me to look me in the eyes.

"She would've seen the way I was around you. The different man I become. You make me a better person, Y/n. I find myself wanting to be better for you. I could never thank you enough for that. Please, never leave. Just stay with me, and I'll always be here for you," he says, repeating the same words I said to him earlier.

I can't help the smile from taking over my features and I lean in to kiss his nose, his eyes, his cheeks and finally I press my lips against his, something I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

"I will, Kuroo Tetsuro. I'll always stay with you."

A/n: So, I don't actually know if his mum passed away or if she left them, so I kind of just,, did both ?

Taglist: @3daa & @itsgiorgiaz

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

[moodymelanist]

hey can u please do roomate au for elucien?

thankyou!

hell yeah, anon. I also got these prompts so I’m gonna combine them if y’all don’t mind!

let’s say Elain and Lucien are living together after graduating college, they were hooking up, they stopped, ✨tension✨ ensues

also I HC that Jesminda is Indian and you can take that from my cold dead hands ok!

Elain thought she could handle seeing Lucien bringing his new girlfriend home after they’d stopped doing whatever it was they were doing, but she learned rather quickly just how wrong she was.

They’d been living together for a few months and had tried the whole friends with benefits thing, but then Lucien had met Jesminda, and Elain had pretended like she didn’t have feelings for him. She’d even smiled as she’d told him Jesminda was beautiful and that they looked good together.

It wasn’t Jesminda’s fault that Elain had kept her mouth shut about how she really felt about her roommate — no, that was purely Elain’s fault. She’d been debating saying something to him for at least a week and a half before he’d approached her and told her he’d met Jesminda, and then she couldn’t say anything without looking like a vindictive bitch. Especially because Jesminda was nothing but friendly towards Elain.

It had been absolute torture every time Jesminda came over, especially at night when Elain could hear sounds coming out of Lucien’s bedroom. She knew perfectly well how good he was between the sheets and he was unintentionally twisting the knife with every quiet groan and curse and headboard slam.

Elain woke up early on a Saturday morning, well rested for the first time in several weeks. Something about hearing Lucien and Jesminda fool around made it impossible for her to sleep until they were done, but for once Lucien had gone to bed alone. She didn’t want to read into things too much, but she secretly hoped that things were winding down between them. Then she immediately chastised herself, because Lucien was a good person and deserved to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her.

She sighed before quietly leaving her bedroom and making her way onto the balcony. Her plants waved gently in the soft breeze as if they were saying hello and she lost herself in the routine of taking care of them. Her plants might not be able to talk to her, but at least they’d always be there for her.

She briefly considered calling one of her sisters to complain but immediately dismissed the idea. Feyre would try to play the world’s worst matchmaker and Nesta would try and actually give her a solution to her problem. She loved her sisters, but neither of their responses were what she wanted or needed right now.

She eventually finished her gardening and went back inside, took a shower, and made herself some breakfast. She was finishing up her pancakes and sitting at the kitchen island when she heard Lucien’s bedroom door opening; she debated trying to hide but there was really nowhere to go.

Lucien sighed as he walked into the living, and Elain couldn’t help but notice how dejected he looked.

“What’s wrong?” Elain asked. He sighed and pulled his auburn hair into a messy bun before replying.

“Jesminda dumped me last night,” he said. He wandered into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, taking a deep sip before continuing. “I mean, we weren’t dating for that long, but it still kind of sucks.”

“It does,” she agreed. Even if she’d hated seeing him with someone other than her, she wasn’t a monster. He was still her friend no matter how complicated her feelings were for him and she’d he there for him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She half-hoped he wouldn’t want to talk about it, but he took her up on her offer. “She said my heart wasn’t really in it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Elain asked, confused. Lucien was one of the most caring and thoughtful people she knew, and anyone lucky to have him would know that.

“I don’t know,” he said. He refused to meet her eye and took another sip of his water. “Well, she said she thought I liked someone else.”

He liked someone else? Another someone else? Elain worked hard to keep her face neutral even though she wanted to demand who this other person was. She pushed down the urge to tell him how she actually felt once again and took a deep breath. “Well, it’s her loss. You’re a catch.”

“Thanks,” he replied dryly. She got the sense that she’d said something wrong, but she wasn’t sure what she’d done. Did he think he wasn’t a catch? Or maybe he’d wanted to talk about this new mystery crush? She wasn’t sure.

“I’m serious,” she insisted, deciding to go down the path of convincing him of his worth. “You are a catch. You’re funny, you give great gifts, and you give great head. What’s not to like?”

Lucien choked on his water, launching into a coughing fit before Elain got up and ran over to pound on his back.

“Jesus, Elain,” he said between coughs. She gave him one last pat on the back before grabbing a napkin for him to wipe his face. “Give a guy some warning.”

“What? I would know,” she said, laughing. It was so easy to laugh with him and it was one of her favorite things about him. “I’m just trying to convince you of your worth. Isn’t that what friends do?”

Lucien sobered up almost immediately. “Yeah. Friends.”

“What?” Elain asked. The sudden shift in tone was jarring and he seemed to be staring right down to her soul as he studied her. “Are we… not friends?”

“Of course we are,” he said with a smile that looked forced. “I just…”

“You just what?” she asked. Her stomach was doing flips from the way he was looking at her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied. He seemed to be debating something and she waited anxiously for him to continue, her heart beating so loudly in her chest that she wondered if he could hear it. “Jesminda broke up with me because she thought I wanted to be more than friends with you.”

Elain could barely breathe in anticipation of what he might say next. “And what did you tell her?”

“That it didn’t matter, because you’d never felt that way about me,” he said.

“What?” She wanted to laugh at how wrong he was. “What do you mean I’d never felt the same way about you?”

“What?” he repeated, just as shocked as her. “You — we’ve — I mean, we’ve been friends for so long. Why would you feel that way about me?”

“Friends don’t agree to have sex if there’s absolutely nothing there,” she replied. She wanted to laugh at the bizarre turn this conversation had taken. “I wasn’t having sex with you out of the kindness of my heart, babe.”

“Don’t ‘babe’ me,” he said. “I said I’d fuck you because you were sad about Graysen, but—”

“Gee, thanks. You’re a saint,” she said sarcastically. She’d dated Graysen for a few months before he’d abruptly dumped her, and she and Lucien had gotten drunk watching movies on the couch. One thing had led to another and she’d asked him to help her forget about her shitty ex, and the rest was history.

“If you’d let me finish,” Lucien said, giving her a pointed stare, “I was going to say that I never asked you for anything more because I liked you so much I’d take whatever you were willing to give me.”

Elain stood there in silence and processed his words. He liked her? He liked her.

“Then why did you start dating Jesminda?” she asked, confused. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to watch you with her? To listen to you fuck her night after night?”

“I thought I could handle the sex, but I couldn’t.” Lucien took several steps closer to her and she backed up until she felt the island behind her. “I thought about you every second of every day, Elain. Your smile, your perfume, your laugh… it was driving me insane to have you without really having you.”

“So instead of telling me this, you decided to date someone else?”

“I thought you’d never feel that way about me. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

They stared at each other for a moment before Elain spoke. “You should’ve said something. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”

“Well, I’m saying something now,” Lucien said. He reached down to tuck a stray wave behind her ear and she felt her heart speed up. “So what do you want to do about it?”

“I want you to kiss me,” she said. She’d barely gotten the words out before his lips were on hers, hungry and desperate, and she stood on her toes to bring them closer together. He groaned into her mouth and leaned down to wrap his arms around her waist, hoisting her up on top of the counter so he didn’t have to bend down so far.

All her brain could think was Lucien, Lucien, Lucien, especially when he was kissing her as if his life depended on it. She was on cloud nine as she kissed him back just as hard because she finally had him all to herself — she was the one he’d wanted all along, and damn if that wasn’t the best thing that had ever happened to her.

[krabstick32]

Your Hand in Marriage

Pairing: Giyuu x Reader

Synopsis: Headcanon/scenario for how Giyuu proposed...how he asked you to marry him...how he popped the question

Tags/warnings: There is slight mention of near-death, but yes, all fluff apart from that!! Also, this can be taken as modern or during canon timeline, whichever works really

a/n: again, thank you so much for requesting anon!! apologies for taking so long :((( i hope you like it though 🥺

LINK to the ask: Request by Anon

anyway, please enjoy!! <33

When he knew you were the one, marriage was always in the back of his mind

You made him yearn for something he feels like could never have

He dreamed of living a quiet, peaceful life with you, to build a warm home and a loving family

And he wanted it so badly

But he couldn’t

Not when he lived the life of a demon slayer—a pillar no less!—not when they were fighting a literal war against the demons who brought so much pain to him, to you, to so many people

He didn’t want his family grow in a world where demon exists

You two talked about this already

And you’ve both agreed that you’re all fine with not getting married even if both of you wanted it more than anything

Your jobs were dangerous—one wrong move could mean death

Both of you entered the corps knowing the consequences, and have made peace with that fact 

I mean, you were open to getting married to him

and as much as he loves you, a lot

He didn't want marriage if it only leads to you dying 

this man has experienced so much loss already, he can’t lose you too.

And you respected that. You didn’t care much for labels. 

Marriage was, in essence, just a piece of paper to prove your relationship, and you knew that you loved each other too much to let a mere document dictate your relationship. 

You don’t mind just staying as boyfriend and girlfriend, you’ll take whatever he’s willing to give

One day, on his way home (to you uwu), he passes by a jewelry store, and sees the ring

Now, Giyuu was never an impulsive buyer, but the ring was perfect.

He could clearly picture it on your left ring finger and—

Oops, he now has a ring in his pocket

It would either be a real classy ring—you know, the classic engagement ring with a yellow gold band and a sizable diamond in the middle

OR

A unique and pretty ring that reminds him of you—a ring designed with sapphires and diamonds. 

(only the best for u after all uwu)

We all know man´s rich enough for it

(giyuu is a pillar. he can literally afford to buy everyone in the corps this ring, and still have left over money to have a lifetime supply of salmon daikon if he wanted to.)

When he got home, his stupidly impulsive buy just dawned on him and u bet he was awkward with you until he found the sneakiest hiding spot for it

((it was hidden underneath a shingle on the roof—a little overkill honestly))

Anyway, all was normal

But Gods, everything changed when the fire nation attacked when you were called to the Butterfly Wing.

He was finishing up on a mission with another pillar, Shinazugawa, and four other slayers (ranked kinoe’s and kinoto’s) when they ran into an upper moon.

And surprisingly, all of these slayers came home, bruised and a lot bloody, but alive.

As you were listening to the report at the Ubuyashiki estate for a meeting, you were relieved to hear that—six demon slayers, all alive after an encounter with an upper moon!!—but when you heard the entire report, your stomach dropped in dread and you dead-ass sprinted out the door to go straight into the butterfly wing.

(You can apologize to the Oyakata-sama later though he was a second away from shooing you out the door)

Because Giyuu—

Giyuu was there 

Your stupid, brave, lovable Giyuu,

Threw himself in front of his fellow slayers to take the brunt of the hit with lull, and so very nearly died when he got hit by the demon’s blood art.

It worked though, because now, the demon got distracted, giving the others ample time to deal with the minions

Once Sanemi and the others were able to lop its head off, the kakushi arrived promptly and rushed everyone back to the butterfly estate.

He woke up after a week. That was the extent of the damage brought to him by that near fatal blow.

First thing he saw was you

You were sound asleep right by his bed, slouched over the visitor’s chair in a position Giyuu knew was anything but comfortable. He was quick to note the dark circles under your eyes, briefly wondering how long you were there. You looked a little cold, so he moved to place the extra blanket from his bedside over you, but you immediately stir when you felt the slightest movement.

“Giyuu? Sweetheart, are you…?”

Seeing him awake felt like a huge bucket of water was poured over you. Any trace of sleep was gone from your body—you were wide awake in a flash, relieved and grateful that he was alive.

“Hello—“ His voice was a little raspier than either of you liked, but yours however, was fine, and healthy enough to to speak your mind. 

“You dumbass!” You hiss, throwing him a light glare.“Do you know how worried I was? How scared I was? I thought I was going to lose you!”

“I’m sorry.” He says, and squirms slightly under your gaze. He would’ve looked away, but he’s missed you a lot. Wasting a few seconds from cowering in slight shame and a little fear would be unbecoming of a Pillar.

“Don’t say sorry!” You were trying so hard to look stern and mad, but having the love of your life nearly taken away from you? You nearly lost him—all you wanted was to just touch him, and never let him go.

Tears start slipping down your eyes before you could stop yourself. Without a word, you wrap your arms over his neck, nearly straddling him as you buried your face in his neck. You try to memorize how his body felt against yours, clinging to him like your life depended on it—and in a way, it did. 

“You!—don’t ever do that to me again!” You cry, being mindful of his injuries as you hold him tighter. Neither of you make mention of how his hospital clothes were starting to grow damp. “If you die and leave me alone, I swear to the gods—!” 

“I’m sorry,” he says again, because what else can he say? He wasn’t aware of how close he was to losing you, until he woke up from the week-long coma. He made you sad, and worry over him, and he never wants to see you cry ever again. He brings you closer against his chest, and says a silent thank you to whatever god let him live. 

“You better be!” You mumble.

“I am. I missed you.” He drops his head against your shoulder, and holds you tighter against him.

Still mindful of his injuries, you return his hug tenfold. “I missed you too.”

Neither of you let go until Shinobu and Aoi dropped by to clean and redress his wounds. 

Afterwards though neither of you left each other’s side (I mean, it’s not like Giyuu could, but you get my point), 

Anyway, even if one of the butterfly girls or even Shinobu came in to give him meds—

He would always be touching you

Holding pinkies, even holding hands, which was a surprising, since he wasn’t much for PDA.

Another surprising fact was that Shinobu would only tease him no more than eight times per visit, when she would usually tease him nonstop.

You didn’t leave him for the entire week he needed to recover, unless it was for a mission (Oyakata-sama was very kind in giving you lighter, and easier missions—easy for you, hard for lower ranked slayers)

That night, you definitely stayed in his room (one of the pillars was kind enough to take over your patrol. it was Mitsuri), and slept right by his side. 

As you slept, he watches the careful rise and fall of your chest. 

You looked so peaceful that he starts daydreaming about what could be—a future with you.

His near death experience made him realize that if he didn’t marry you, it would be one of the greatest mistakes of his life.

You taught him to live life to its fullest, to live without regrets

And he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t get to call you his wife, even if it was just for a day.

The demons have taken so much from him already—his sister, his best friend

They’ve already taken too much

He’s not going to let the demons take away any more of his happiness

SO YES

This was the moment he finally decided to ask you to be his wife.

took him long enough

Giyuu knew that he wasn’t the best at communication

And he was really worried about you not wanting to marry him anymore. It’s been a while since that conversation after all

He wanted things to be as clear as spring water before even popping the question

So he decides to ask you.

He brings you out to the engawa and sits there with you, enjoying the night breeze and the view

You’d look very pretty under the moonlight and aaaaa

He wonders how he ever managed to control himself from asking you to marry him earlier 

Because right now

Giyuu has half the mind to just beg you to marry him 

He brings it up bluntly carefully,

“...How do you feel about marrying me?”

He brought it up bluntly.

You’re used to it though (you didn’t even bat an eyelash—what a champ), so you take it in stride.

“What I said before still stands, sweetheart. I would love nothing more than to be your wife, but if you’re not ready—“

“I am.”

Your neck almost snaps with how fast your head turns to look at Giyuu. He wasn’t far, just a few inches of space between your bodies, but you could feel his comforting warmth, and could clearly see his expression despite it being night.

“Are you serious?” You knew he was—Giyuu never was the type to joke—but you couldn’t help but ask. You knew he loved you, you knew he wanted to be with you for as long as possible, but him asking to marry you? Both of you talked about this, and you respected what he wanted and his reasons behind it, so whatever this was? It all felt too good to be true that you wanted to pinch yourself.

“Yes.” Giyuu carefully takes your hands and uses his thumb to trace soothing circles onto the skin of your palm. “If you’re fine with someone like me...” He places his forehead on top of yours and your heart just...picks up the pace. You’re sure he could hear how fast it was beating, while you’re made aware of the fact that your eyes were starting to get teary because everything looked so blurry. 

“Marry me, (F/N)?”

Him wanting to know if you still wanted a marriage with him, turned into an actual proposal

But neither of you minded

It felt perfect

You burst into a loud, giddy laugh, the happy smile on your lips wide enough to reach your ears. The tears start spilling over as you nod your head vigorously, repeating the word “Yes!” like it was the only word you could say.

Giyuu’s mouth curls into the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen on him, and continues to grow each time you ‘yes’. He puts the ring on your finger and you're struck by how pretty it is, feeling a sense of rightness wash over you. He feels it too as both of you take a moment to look at how perfect the fit is, before you look back up at him. 

By the gods, he looked so handsome with that smile on his face, you couldn’t take it. You bring your hands to cup his face, and kiss him for all you were worth. HIs hands wrap around your waist, and you grip the nape of his neck, savoring the feeling of his comforting warmth pressed against you. As both of you pressed your lips against each other, neither of you could stop smiling—you were both so happy.

“You’ll marry me?”

“I’ll marry you right now, if it was possible.”

“You really want to marry me?”

“I always did. I feel stupid for making you wait so long.”

“It’s fine, sweetheart, I understand why.”

He pulls away a little, pouting. “But I could’ve been calling you my wife earlier.” 

“And I could’ve been calling you my husband earlier,” You tease “but here we are.”

“...Maybe we can find a priest right now.”

You laugh and smack his shoulder. “We waited a few years, I’m sure we can wait for a few months.”

The two of you look at each other for a moment.

“Giyuu?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.” You really do.

He smiles softly, taking your left hand and kissing the back of your hand. “I love you too.” He really does.

For better or for worse

During the next Pillar meeting, everyone definitely notices your ring

a/n: i would like to marry this man please and thank you (′ꈍωꈍ‵)💖

I have another request in the works, but if you liked this headcanon, maybe you’d like to see a continuation! I’ve got some ideas stocked up for “how they met”, “how they got married”, or maybe “how the other pillars react to your engagement”... anyways feel free to drop a request!

apologies in advance if it takes me another month 😔

[amelialincoln]

Are u gonna write after tonight’s episode like u usually do? hope you focus on when link left but also after the hug thanks xx

Fragile 

“Because I’m not an alcoholic, I’m not in recovery…” Link continued yelling but all Amelia could focus on was how much she wanted to slap him on his very perfectly symmetrical face. As if asking him if he was drunk at 9am was such a crazy idea when he started drinking at 12pm yesterday. It wasn’t like she was shaming him or telling him how uncomfortable it really made her, she was just worried about him, more than herself. Of course she’d noticed his little guitar drinking sessions. Whiskey had been lingering on his breath for the past week every time he crawled into bed. The slamming of the front door brought her back to reality. She went to put the Whiskey back on the shelf and realized it was gone.

“Auntie ‘mels, where’s uncle Link?” Amelia turned to find Ellis standing in the doorway to the backyard and she tried to hold back some of the tears that were forming in her eyes out of frustration. “He’s gone,” She replied, realizing she hadn’t retained where he said he was going. “But he’ll be back soon.” She tried to hide the uncertainty in her eyes. “You wanna come garden?”

“Yes!” Ellis squealed.

“Alright then,” Amelia laughed lightly for her nieces sake. “Not for too long though because Scout is going to wake up from his nap soon. You go pick the bulbs and I’ll be there in a second.”

“Maybe daffodils? Or tulips?”

“Surprise me.” Amelia gushed, brushing a strand of hair out of the excited girl’s face and smiling as she took off into the backyard. She went back to the dishes she was putting into the dishwasher before her and Link’s quarrel, knocking one of them off the counter as she abruptly turned and it clattered to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. “Damn it,” she cursed, momentarily wanting to throw another one at the wall.

“Amelia.” Maggie had entered the kitchen upon hearing the noise. “You okay?” She could see that her sister was on the verge of tears.

“I’m fine,” she replied coldly, pushing past Maggie as she tried to wrap her arms around her and stormed out into the backyard. “Don’t let the kids in the kitchen, I’ll clean it up when I’m done in the garden,” she called over her shoulder. Maggie sighed, picking up the ceramic shards, of what used to be her sister’s favourite plate, before sweeping up the rest of the mess. She wondered momentarily where Link had gone and wondered briefly if he had anything to do with Amelia's abruptness. Sometimes it shocked her how little she knew the man who was raising a baby, and taking care of all of Meredith's children, with Amelia. She had no suspicion of Link being abusive, and Amelia had never seemed happier...or exhausted, but if anyone could be taken advantage of, despite being such a strong minded person, it was her. Maggie hadn’t heard the extent of the awful things that Owen had said, but if anyone needed more confirmation that she was worthy of love, it was Amelia. As Maggie gazed out into the backyard to find Ellie sitting on her auntie's lap and giggling uncontrollably, she could practically feel her blood boiling.

[][][]

Amelia spent the rest of the day doing what she did every day, cleaning, feeding and worrying. This time not only about Meredith, but about her boyfriend who drove off with a 2 6 practically full of hard alcohol without a word about where he was going.

“Bailey, leave your sister alone,” Amelia called from her spot on the lawn chair. Scout was nestled into her chest sleeping and she glanced at him worriedly to make sure he was still asleep. “Bailey, we do not pull hair!” Zola had been having a hard enough day with the heavy conversation they’d had earlier that afternoon, she didn’t need Bailey yanking on her pigtails in an attempt to distract her from studying.

“But I’m bored,” Bailey whined, drawing out the end of his sentence until Amelia wanted to cover her ears.

“Why don’t you go see what Ellis is doing?” Amelia offered, lowering her voice as Scout started to stir.

“Ellis is boring,” Bailey complained. If Amelia heard that word one more time she thought she might explode. 

“We’re all bored, Bailey,” she sighed, trying to think of something her nephew could do. “Have you studied for your spelling test tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’ll be getting ten out of ten like Zola?” She asked.

“No, ten out of ten is impossible for everyone other than Zola,” Bailey groaned.

“Okay, here’s my idea. If you can get eight out of ten, you can have an extra half hour of screen time tomorrow.”

“Really?” Bailey’s eyes lit up like a CT scan. “Wait, eight out of ten is still way too hard.” Amelia shrugged.

“Better get studying then.” 

“Fine,” Bailey grumbled. “I’ll go study.” Amelia gave him a thumbs up and tried not roll her eyes as he trudged into the house. She glanced down at Scout who was pawning for her nipple and laughed lightly before moving her tank top to the side, wishing Link could be here to laugh at their adorable boy with her.

“Hey what’s up?” She yawned, sliding open her vibrating phone to reveal Maggie’s maskless face. “You on a break?” 

“Yeah, managed to squeeze in lunch,” Maggie sighed, taking a bite of her sandwich. “It’s like the great depression over here.”

“Yikes.” 

“Yeah, Winston and I are working on a case. It’s weird but we’re working well together.” 

“That’s good,” Amelia grinned, feeling better about him after their breakfast together this morning. “He fits into Grey Sloan?”

“Yeah, looks great in the navy blue,” Maggie chuckled, her eyes darting to the door and momentarily lifting her mask to her face before setting it back down. “Have to find closets to eat in at this point,” she joked. “The cafeteria freaks me out.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Amelia shrugged, shifting Scout to the other side uncomfortably.

“Is Link back?” Maggie asked, watching her sister’s face darken.

“No,” she replied simply. “He’ll probably be soon though.”

“Are you guys okay?” Maggie blurted out. “Like are you okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Amelia replied defensively, stunned by the seriousness in Maggie’s voice.

“He’s been drinking a lot, Amelia, we all noticed it. That’s not fair to you and the plate--”

“Whoa,” Amelia interrupted her quickly. “Maggie, I’m in recovery but I’m good. I have a lot to be sober for right now so I’m...good.”

“Well, I’m happy you're so good,” Maggie replied, unconvincingly. “It doesn’t really seem respectful though. Just because you’ve been in recovery for awhile doesn’t mean anything. You can relapse after being sober for years. I’ve seen it with Richard, it’s a never ending cycle.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Amelia bit her lip, surprised by how easily Maggie seemed to understand.

“Like it’s not that I feel uncomfortable having a glass of wine around you. You’ve been to parties where everyone’s been wasted, it's just...I don’t feel comfortable leaving you with someone that’s using alcohol in the same way that you once did.”

“To turn off,” The worried sister confirmed.

“He’s getting drunk by himself in the garage, Amelia.”

“I know.” She hugged Scout tightly into her chest for support and the baby gurgled with happiness at the sudden affection from his mother.

“You guys made an amazing kid.”

“I know,” her response is teary as she glances down at the big blue eyes staring back up at her. “That’s the issue. Everything is so perfect when it comes to him, until it isn’t.”

“Meaning?” The anger in Maggie’s voice caused her to flinch.

“He’s not hitting me, Maggie,” she said softly in case the kids were eavesdropping. Her sister’s demeanour seemed to relax. “Did you honestly think that?”

“No, of course not. We all love Link. He’s perfect. I just feel like I barely know him. Like deeply, you know? He’s not an open book like you.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Sometimes I feel that way too. I have no idea where he is right now, Maggie. I’m worried,” her voice cracked almost unnoticeably.

“He’s a grown adult, Amelia,” Maggie answered with resentment. “He can at least take care of himself if he’s going to leave you alone with four kids for however long.” She glanced up at the door. “Look, I’ve got to go but I can come over tonight and we can talk.”

“It’s fine. Thanks for calling but just spend the night with Winston. You’ve been over enough.” 

“Okay, but just text me if you need anything.” Her voice was muffled as she secured her mask and ended the FaceTime.

[][][]

Amelia glanced at her phone for what seemed like the hundredth time that day as she tucked the last Shepherd kid into bed.

“Where's Uncle Link?” Eliis complained, disappointed by only receiving three stories from an exhausted Amelia.

“He’ll be back soon, bug,” Amelia promised. “You have an early zoom class tomorrow so we can only read three tonight, okay?”

“Uncle Link would read me five anyways,” she whined, tears brimming in her blue eyes. 

“Come on, Ellie,” Amelia wanted to cry with her. “We had a big day.”

“I don’t want you, I want my mom. Why did you make my mom go away?” The stubborn girl complained, rubbing her puffy eyes with her fists.

“I didn’t, sweetheart. She’ll be back soon too,” she was too tired not to tell her otherwise tonight.

“Really?” Ellis asked with a small smile.

“Yep,” Amelia nodded, regretting it instantly. “Now go to bed and time will go by faster.”

“Okay,” her niece finally caved, snuggling into her polka dotted duvet. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Amelia sighed, turning off the lamp as she exited the room and breathing a sigh of relief, momentarily lingering with her back against the door.

“Hey, Link’s voice caused her to jump. “Sorry.” He handed her a steaming cup of green tea that she drank each night. What he didn’t know was that she’d been needing some sort of beverage nightly to distract her from wanting anything else.

“Thanks.” She wrapped her hands around the warm ceramic mug and tried to step away from the intoxicating smell of whiskey that he was exuding.

“Sorry it’s bad,” he apologized, running a tired hand through his hair. His eyes were rimmed with red and he looked as if he’d just staggered home from who knows where.

“Were you at a bar or...”

“I went to Deluca’s thing,” he answered messily. “With Jo, we went and it was nice. Did you--”

“Yeah, I watched most of it, you were day drinking with Jo?” It’s not that she didn’t trust them, she knew how much Jo meant to Link and she never wanted to come between that, but did she still feel the tiniest bit jealous? Absolutely.

“In her loft. They were tested like yesterday.”

“They?”

“Jackson was there too.”

“Ah,” she took a sip of the tea and closed her eyes momentarily.

“You look tired,” he observed and she almost laughed at him.

“Um, yeah. They’re all a lot for one person,” she replied, gesturing to the four shut doors in the hallway.

“Maggie and Winston left?” He scratched the back of his head with confusion.

“They had work today.”

“Oh...right.” They stood together awkwardly before Amelia turned towards their bedroom.

“You need to shower and brush your teeth. I need a good sleep,” she yawned, not offering an explanation for why him reeking of hard liquor would cause her another sleepless night, since he obviously hadn’t put two and two together. “Wait is that--” She shut their bedroom door and crawled into bed before he could finish.

[][][]

Link finally came to bed about a half hour later, slamming his shin against the bed frame as he stumbled into the dark room.  

“Are you okay?” Amelia’s voice rang out in the darkness.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he groaned, lowering himself cautiously onto the mattress and sliding under the covers. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” she rolled away from him tiredly, closing her eyes.

“If you don’t want me to keep liquor in the house I won’t,” he spoke clearly into the darkness.

“Link, I don’t need you to hide liquor or drinking from me,” Amelia sighed. “If anything, I feel more uncomfortable when you do it in secret.”

“I thought that would be better for you,” he responded truthfully.

“How would you know? You didn’t ask me.” Silence hung in the air and she debated going back to sleep.

“Amelia it’s hard.”

“It’s hard for everyone, Link. You don’t get to act like you’re the only one keeping secrets or walking on eggshells or losing people right now. People are grieving and dying. That doesn’t make what we’re experiencing any less hard. I’m going crazy. But I’m not diminishing how others are feeling by shoving my problems in their faces and comparing who has it worse. It’s not a competition.”

“Okay, did Jo tell you--”

“Jo didn’t tell me shit. I don’t have time to talk to Jo or make calls about where you are. I don’t have time to be worrying about where you are or if you’re safe while trying to keep an entire household of people together.”

“I should’ve been here today.”

“Yeah,” she tried to remove any hint of emotion in her voice. “I needed you.”

“I brushed my teeth and I used that plastic thing...that makes all the bubbles.”

“You used my loofah?” She tried to hide her amusement.

“Can you just come here?” He pleaded, opening his arms and allowing her burrow herself in his neck. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Just no more lies or we won’t make it.” He nodded, holding her closely as her breathing deepened into his chest.  

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control: The Epilogue

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas

Feysand and Elriel

Completed Masterlist Link!!! 

(a very short) EPILOGUE

~~~Elain~~~

“Go Feyre!!” I screamed from the stands. 

On deck, standing in the group of Prythian University swimmers next to the pool, I caught sight of Azriel cheering my sister on, as well. Feyre was actually doing really well tonight--she’d slid into the C Final of the 200 free this morning, and was now on track to move up several spots if she could keep up her pace. 

“Come on Feyre!” Every other spectator in the building was shouting around me. I’d never been to a conference championship before--I’d had a big exam the weekend of the swim meet last year. I’d stayed at Mortal U to study instead of traveling to watch Feyre. 

It was insanely loud inside the building, and I intended on adding my voice to the cacophony of cheers and shouts around me until Feyre touched the wall.

Twenty seconds later, my voice hoarse, I watched Feyre win her heat. That meant she’d gotten seventeenth in the most competitive conference in the country!! She’d scored points for the team! And the point totals looked like the girls’ team was on track to get top three overall, as well.

I shot her a text congratulating her, knowing I wouldn’t hear from her for a while, and settled in to watch the rest of the meet. 

A few hours later, after watching Prythian women be announced for winning second in the meet, and the men achieving third, I headed outside to wait for Feyre and Azriel. Azriel had B-finaled tonight, placing tenth in his event and going a best time. 

Feyre came out, surrounded by her friends, and I bolted for her. “Congratulations!!!” I shouted, throwing my arms around her shoulders. She hugged me back tightly. 

“Thanks Elain! I’m so glad you could come.” She dropped her voice, eyes shifting to glance at the coaches a few yards away, talking to a few swimmers and their parents. “Are you coming out with us?”

“You’re going out?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course! Last day of the meet, it’s been over two months since any of us have been allowed to drink. Dry season is officially over for those of us not qualified for nationals--it’s time to party.” 

I grinned at my sister’s excitement, overjoyed to see how happy she was, and knowing that part of her happiness was because of her success that night. 

I felt a presence behind me before Azriel’s arms encircled my waist, his muscular body pressing against mine. “Hey,” he said in my ear.

I turned. “Hey there. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.” I kissed him briefly, fully aware of the large crowd of Prythian swimmers, parents and coaches around us--not to mention the groups from other teams also spilling out of the aquatic complex. 

“Thanks. Glad you could be there.” 

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” 

He lowered his voice. “You coming out?”

“Oh my God, is that all you swimmers can think of at a time like this?”

He gave me a look that said it was, in fact, all the swimmers could think of. Dry season--the time required by the team captains that all team members must refrain from drinking until the end of the season--had been wearing on everyone. Being a college student and unable to let loose from time to time was quite a challenge for most kids on the team. I knew Prythian’s dry season had started on New Year’s Day. So it had been a long while since Azriel had had a drink. 

“I’m coming,” I sighed, but secretly was very excited to go out with my friends again. 

He threw his arm across my shoulders and we started walking across the parking lot, leaving our group behind for the moment. 

“I love you,” he exhaled, grinning up at the starry night before he looked down at me nervously.

I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him. “I love you too.” 

And I didn’t give a damn about all the people surrounding us as I tugged his mouth down to mine and kissed him as though we were the only ones in that parking lot.

-------

~~~Feyre~~~

Rhys held my hand as we traipsed across the parking lot. I squeezed his fingers, trying to get a good look at his face. 

“I know you placed higher last year, but are you happy with how you swam this week?”

He nodded, keeping his eyes forward.

“Rhys. Your injury put you out for essentially two months and you still got ninth at Conference. And you dropped a second. You should be proud of yourself.” 

He let go of my hand as we split up to get into his car, me in the passenger seat, him in the driver’s.  

“You’re right. And I am happy. I’ve got one year left; I’ll have to make that count.”

I frowned. “You’re only saying that cause you know that’s what I want you to say--want you to feel.” 

He started the car, but left it in park as he turned his body to face mine. “No, I’m saying that because I don’t want my stupid disappointment to take away from how much of a badass you were tonight. And all week--you cut time in all three of your events. And you finaled. So, I think we need to forget about me coming up slightly short for reasons that were out of my control and focus on my amazing girlfriend instead.”

“Well when you put it that way,” I joked, even as his words made me smile.

“Yep. We definitely need to focus on my smart, beautiful, frustrating, badass girlfriend who also happens to be one of the most elite athletes I’ve ever known. And not just in the pool--if you know what I mean.” He winked.

I pushed his shoulder, gesturing for him to hurry up and drive away already. “Pig. Take me to a bar, please.” 

“Your wish is my command,” he said solemnly, placing his hand on my thigh as he headed straight for Rita’s.

I set my hand on top of his, staring out the window at the people still streaming out of the complex doors, at the cars fighting to get to Main Street, at the exceptionally bright stars hanging overhead. 

I’d done it. I’d picked myself up and found my passion for my sport again. 

I hadn’t gone a best time in any of my events for several years--not since I was a senior in high school. Being able to PR even though I was older and a little more burnt out made me feel like I was on top of the world.

And that was why I swam. I loved my teammates, and I was so lucky that swimming had brought me Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Mor, and Rhysand. But succeeding at something I’d been passionate about for years made me feel a way that nothing else could. The satisfaction of achieving the goals I’d set for myself years ago filled me with a glow that I had missed for a long while.

“Hey,” I said as Rhys parked a few blocks down from the bar. 

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for not letting me give up all those months ago.”

“What are teammates for?” He asked, reminding me of the night he’d driven me far away from the horrid toxicity of that Halloween night. 

I leaned across the center console and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what teammates are for, exactly, but I’d be stupid to argue against it,” he said, making me laugh before he captured my mouth with his again. 

-------------

THE END!!!

Thank you so SO much to everyone who has read this fic, from those of you who have been here for a while to those who are just now catching up to the end:) It was a joy to write and I can’t believe I followed through and finished it. 

Just FYI, I should be starting a new fic next week, called What To Expect When You’re (Not) Expecting. Check it out if you want some more Feysand;) 

THANKS EVERYONE LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEEE

Tags: 

@aknymph​ @queen-of-glass​ @sleeping-and-books​ @fabfire​

[boggirlsummer]

Wet Hot American Summer

August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.

Cozy

Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when it’s clear that a plan isn’t going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. I’ve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.

Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I don’t have the space in my car to open. I wasn’t loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.

I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out that’s the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.

No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job ☺️

Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - you’re supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I can’t do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and I’m worried this is going to attract the bears.

August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, “The Last Best Cafe.” I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 🥰 I’ve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.

Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When I’m alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, it’s fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle he’d been going to every week for three years and then bought us a night’s worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I should’ve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever… Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didn’t have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didn’t disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 🥴 My profile isn’t anything crazy but I don’t think I’m giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.

If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz y’all are freaks. This is the tamest one I’ve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.

Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? I’ve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.

Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other people’s stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes they’re straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we can’t afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said “Staff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.” So yes, I bought it. Don’t forget y’all - I have a psychology degree so please don’t come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. It’s very possible that in this summer of upheaval I’m desperate for some kinda sign that I’m on the right path. Let me have this one 😘

I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like I’m trying to drink out of a firehose

[fugaciousgloom]

Hajime isn't a boy.

Komahina Week 2020 Day 3: Genderbend AU

Warning: Transphobia, slight/mentioned homophobia, internalized transphobia.

---

Hajime glared at her reflection in the mirror. Her mother's makeup seemed to be taunting her, sitting on the other side of the counter. She hated it. Everything. Her short hair, her broad shoulders, her flat chest. She didn't understand why nobody could see the problem.

Hajime Hinata was not a boy.

Hajime Hinata was a girl.

And Hajime Hinata should not have to wear the boys uniform to school.

The uniform consisted of black pants, a white dress shirt, and a tie. Usually, pants wouldn't bother her, but walking into a school where all the other girls are wearing skirts and all the boys were wearing pants would drive her insane.

Hajime tried to explain it to her parents, but it was hard to get the words out. Especially when they would make passively mean comments about gay and transgender people like it was no big deal. They often referred to them as "defected" or "broken". It felt awful.

It was scary, being someone she isn't in a home where she could be kicked out for even dressing like a girl, let alone transitioning.

And it didn't help that she still liked girls. That was actually how she realized she was one. She kept imagining herself with other girls, but as a girl. It was strange, especially when she was younger and in middle school.

Hajime was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a call from downstairs, "Hajime, breakfast!"

She sighed, gazing longingly at the make up again before turning and walking out of the bathroom.

---

Downstairs, Hajime's father was rushing to get ready for work. He glanced at her when she made it to the bottom of the stairs, "Looking sharp, son."

Hajime cringed internally and nodded at him. She walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a plate and piling eggs and sausage onto it. As she sat down to eat, she heard her father's voice again, "Do you need a ride to school?"

"No, thanks." She replied, glancing over to him as he shoved his keys into his pocket, "Sonia and Gundham are going to meet me on Quarterline Street a little ways away from here."

Her father nodded, "I've always liked that Sonia girl." It was almost teasing, which made Hajime blush a bit. She didn't like Sonia like that, but since she was one of her best friends, people always assumed she did. It was quite annoying.

She quickly finished her breakfast and shoved her computer into her bag. Slinging it over her shoulder, she waved goodbye to her mother as she headed out the door.

---

True to their word, Sonia and Gundham were waiting when Hajime made it to the corner. The former was wearing the girls uniform, including a white dress shirt, a pleated skirt, stockings and black Mary Jane's. Hajime found herself envying her friend, tugging at the collar of her shirt self-consciously.

They had been her best friend since second grade after Sonia spilled her milk all over Hajime by accident and Gundham tripped over them while they were cleaning the mess. Sonia invited them to her birthday party as an apology and they found they had a lot in common.

They were also the only people she had told about her secret. They were a lot more accepting than she thought they'd be, and both shared their own secrets in return. Turned out, they were both gay.

When Sonia spotted Hajime she waved enthusiastically and ran over to him, "Hajime, how are you?"

Hajime laughed as she flung her arms around her, "I'm doing fine, how about you?"

The two talked as they made their way back to Gundham, who looked like his usual brooding self. He had his scarf pulled up to his face, obviously self conscious of his outfit. He wasn't wearing his jacket and explained that the lack of cover was making him feel a bit awkward. At least, that's what Hajime got out of his theatrical way of speaking.

The school's dress code was very strict. Nobody was allowed to wear any accessories that covered the uniform that the school didn't provide or sell. This included jackets. Hajime had to spend twenty dollars on a jacket when his one at home was perfectly fine. Sonia, however, was allowed to wear hair accessories, which she took advantage of.

On the walk to school, Sonia did most of the talking. She gushed about a girl she met at opening school night (an event that Hajime hadn't even bothered to attend, mostly because she knew her parents would make her dress up for it) and how she was so excited to see her again. Gundham also talked a bit about his mother's pet shop and the chaos they had gone through preparing his little sisters for school that morning. Hajime liked listening to their stories, but never contributed much.. Her mother stayed at home all day and her father worked some nine-to-five job she had never bothered to ask about. Other than their rants about politics and religion, he didn't have much to lament on.

The three made it to school and Gundham begrudgingly took off his scarf. It was a bit strange, seeing him out of his usual attire, and Sonia seemed to agree as well. She kept commenting on the minimal stubble he had acquired over the summer, making Gundham glare at her. They all had a good laugh about it as they made their way into the door.

The hallways were white and lined with gray-green lockers. The luminescent lights flickered slightly, and Hajime immediately knew they would end up giving her a headache. Sonia, who seemed right at home, rushed them all over to student check-in.

The booth had a reasonably long line, leading all the way from the table to near the entrance. As Sonia dragged them to the end, her eyes lit up. She waved at a girl with pink hair and beckoned her over. The girl didn't seem to mind losing her place in line and tugged on the girl next to her's sleeve. The two made their way over and greeted Sonia warmly.

"Chiaki, Nagi!" Sonia pulled them into a hug, "It's nice to see you again!"

The pink haired girl (presumably Chiaki) pulled away, "Hi Sonia, who's your friends?"

"This is Gundham Tanaka and Hajime Hinata." She gestured to each of them respectively. Hajime waved slightly, glancing at Nagi. There was something about her that she couldn't describe... it was a weird feeling.

The five waited in line, talking and getting to know eachother. Well, except for Hajime, who was satisfied avoiding eye contact with Nagi and listening to the others talk. This only seemed to peak the other girl's interest, as she kept trying to look her in the eye the entire conversation.

After about fifteen minutes of waiting, they finally made it to the front of the line. They each got their schedules and a school map, as well as a packet about school rules.

"Who's your homeroom teacher, Hajime?" Sonia glanced over Hajime's shoulder, skimming her schedule.

Hajime turned towards her, "Oh, I have Ms. Monomi."

Sonia frowned, "Darn, I'm in Ms. Yukisome's class..." she glanced at Chiaki, only to brighten up when the other girl expressed that she had the same homeroom.

"I, too, have the acclaimed Ms. Yukisome." Gundham spoke up from by is spot next to Chiaki, "Therefore, I shall accompany you to class."

"I have Ms. Monomi." Nagi claimed, smiling at Hajime. It made her heart pound for some reason. "So I can walk to class with you."

Hajime nervously glanced away, but he could hear the huff that escaped the other. She was obviously getting annoyed. From where she stood, Hajime could clearly see Sonia smirking at him. She just quirked an eyebrow at her.

The group talked for a but longer before the bell interrupted them. Sonia, Chiaki, and Gundham left together, leaving her alone with Nagi.

The walk to class was silent aside from Nagi's persistent quiries. Hajime suppressed a smile. She thought the rambling was almost cute, but quickly suppressed the thought.

They were right outside the classroom when Nagi blocked her path, "I understand I'm trash, and you probably don't want to talk to me, but why are you avoiding me after just meeting me." She takes a breath, muttering the next part mostly to herself, "Usually, it takes at least a full conversation for people to stop talking to me."

Hajime was caught off guard, "U-um... I'm sorry?"

Nagi stared at her for a few moments before sighing and turning around, "I don't bite, you know..." she then walked into the classroom.

Hajime stood there in the doorway for a second. Did she make her upset?

Damn, I really screwed that up. She thought, following Nagi into the classroom. The classroom was crowded to say the least. Only a few kids had sat down, the rest wandering around the room or chatting with peers. Hajime watched as Nagi sat down at a desk near the window, pulling out a book to read. She hesitated, then sat down next to her.

Nagi glanced over at her briefly, "You don't have to sit next to me if you don't want to." She said, "It's not a big deal."

"No, I want to." Hajime replied, "and I'm sorry for being awkward when we met, I have... a lot on my mind."

Nagi opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the door opening. A young woman wearing all pink and white walked in carrying a bunch of binders. Her outfit looked more like something a little girl would wear rather than an adult. "Before we get started with class, everyone needs to find a seat!"

Hajime turned to listen to the teacher, but she could still feel Nagi's eyes on the back of her neck.

---

Hajime stood in the hallway later that day, staring at the bathroom door. The mens bathroom door. She grimaced, moving forward to push open the door.

There was nobody inside, making her sigh with relief. The last thing he needed was to make things even more awkward than they already are.

As she was washing her hands, she avoided looking into the mirror, not sure that she could even handle her own reflection at that moment.

When the door swung open, she flinched, staring harder at her hands. Maybe if she ignored them, they'd finish quickly and go away.

The person walked by at a fast pace, surprising Hajime a bit. She turned to look, but they had already disappeared into a stall. They obviously hadn't wanted to be seen, so she quickly finished washing her hands and left.

---

Sonia, Gundham, and Chiaki caught up with Hajime outside of the bathroom. Nagi and him had split ways after homeroom, so she wasn't  exactly sure where she had gone. They all walked to lunch together, talking about their days so far.

Sonia led them all to a table at the back of the cafeteria. Hajime listened to them all talk as he pulled out his bento. Gundham sat next to him. He leaned forward a bit, talking in a low voice.

"Are you alright, mortal?" He asked, "I noticed you vacating the men's restroom on our path to this dining area."

Hajime sighed, smiling at his friend, "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit uncomfortable."

Gundham gave him a quick, understanding nod, before listening in on Chiaki and Sonia's conversation.

It was about a quarter way through lunch when Nagi joined them. She explained that she had gotten lost on the way there and had to ask a hall monitor for directions, "Turns out I was on the opposite side of the school." She smiled warily, "I don't even know how I ended up there."

They all had a good laugh at her misfortune, making Nagi pout, before going back to their normal conversation.

---

They all packed up their lunch when the bell rang. Gundham and Chiaki headed out first, as their next class was on the other side of the building.

Sonia led them to their next class, talking the whole way. Hajime was used to her talkative nature, but obviously Nagi wasn't. It made sense, seeing as Chiaki was a quiet person.

They were almost to class when Hajime felt Nagi cling to the back of her shirt. She jumped, turning to look at the girl. Nagi wasn't looking at Hajime, instead looking past her and down the hallway. She followed her gaze, eyes landing on a tall girl with pink pigtails. She was tailed by a meek girl with purple hair, and a tough looking girl with short, brown hair.

The group made their way down the hall, stopping in front of the door to Nagi, Hajime, and Sonia's next class.

Though she didn't know her personally, Hajime recognized the girl from the magazines her mother read. Junko, if she remembered correctly.

Sonia stepped in front of Hajime, "Excuse me, I believe this is our next class."

"Hold on," Junko held one finger up, "Are you with Nagito over there?" Hajime felt Nagi's grip tighen on her shirt.

Sonia quirked an eyebrow, "You mean Nagi?" She nodded, "Yes, I am."

A small voice came from a girl behind Junko, "Uhm, J-junko... maybe w-we should just g-go to class?"

"Shut it, Mikan!" Junko hissed.

Mikan out her arms in front of her face, flinching backwards, "Ah, I'm sorry!"

"Excuse me!" Sonia placed her hands on her hips, "You have no right to speak to her that way. Apologize at once!" Her voice was authoritarian and, if it were Hajime, he would have listened immediately.

Junko ignored her, instead acknowledging Hajime, "Seems like Nagito has a boy toy." Hajime held back a flinch, "He probably doesn't know, otherwise, he wouldn't even associate with him."

"Him?" Hajime muttered, connecting the pieces in her brain. When Nagi released her shirt, she spun around. The white haired girl had backed up, face wet with tears. She looked ready to bolt at the slightest movement.

When the late bell rang, the brown haired girl tugged on Junko's sleeve, "We need to go to class." She began, "Otherwise, we'll get in trouble."

Junko looked like she was going to object, but nodded, turning on her heel to walk into the classroom. Hajime kept her gaze fixed on Nagi as she speed walked towards the bathroom, wiping her tears with her sleeves.

Hajime followed her, watching as Nagi paused at the women's bathroom door. Instead of going inside, she slid down the wall outside the door, covering her face with her hands.

She sat down next to her, placing a hand on her back as she calmed herself down.

"I'm sorry."

Hajime blinked, surprised by the sudden apology, "What?"

Nagi looked away, "You probably don't want to be my friend after this."

"No," Hajime shook his head, moving to sit in front of her, "I do!" Nagi looked at him skeptically, and Hajime sighed. She placed her hands in her lap, "I don't know how to explain it, but I... I'm the same way."

Nagi's eyes widened, "Really?"

Hajime nodded, whispering, "I've known since I was little." He smiled, "But I see that your parents are better with that than mine."

Nagi nodded, fiddling with her hands in her lap, "Well, I live with my grandparents." She smiled, "They let me grow my hair out and wear the girl's uniform."

The two sat in silence for a bit before Hajime stood, offering a hand to Nagi, "We should get to class before we get in anymore trouble."

Nagi accepted her hand and pulled herself up, smiling at Hajime, "Thank you."

"Anytime."

---

I didn't know how to end it.

Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope I did it justice. I'm not trans, so if I did anything wrong, please let me know.

[thebeethathums]

Observers - 55

Paring: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

John didn’t expect to find you pressed against Sherlock’s chest when he came down to get something to eat, in fact, he rather expected to find you still drawing in the same position he’d left you. It caused some mixed emotions in him. In a way, he was relieved that Sherlock had somehow managed to pull you from that so you could get some rest but at the same time, it made his skin crawl. His baby sister snuggling with his unusual flatmate seemed so… wrong. You roused and rolled off of Sherlock and to the floor with a loud thump, bringing your hands up to rub your face as you stared at the ceiling for a bit before John gently coaxed, “Are you alright, (F/n)?” “No,” came your simple, honest reply and John came to look down at you as you stated, “He didn’t deserve to die, John… especially not like that.” “Everyone dies, (F/n).” Sherlock hummed flatly, having been drawn out of his thoughts when your warmth left his body. 

“Sherlock!” John hissed, watching you roll to your side to curl up in a ball with a soft whimper of sadness before setting in to scold Sherlock as he sank to the floor to pull you to him. You let him, snuggling into his neck as you grumbled, “Leave him be, Johnny, he’s right, but it doesn’t mean the living hurt any less.”

Sherlock looked over just as you buried your face into John’s jumper, your shoulders shaking as you finally broke down and quietly wept on him, “H-He was my f-f-friend, John. He knew h-he was going to d-die… if-if I h-had gone to seeee him when he a-asked- If I-I hadn’t put it offff- I c-could have h-h-helped.” Your brother wrapped his arms around you as tightly as he could, stroking the back of your hair with one hand, “No you couldn’t have. He was already in too deep, (F/n). You would have only gotten yourself into trouble… The kind I can’t bail you out of.” A deep frown settled on Sherlock’s face as your quiet sniffles turned to full-blown sobs, his chest feeling so tight it was like he couldn’t breathe, but he was relieved, glad even, that John was handling it. His mind referred him back to Mycroft’s tome of ‘caring is not an advantage’ as he witnessed just what caring reduced you to. If you were this broken up by the death of an old friend you hadn’t seen in years, then you’d be more than incapacitated if you lost say, John… or perhaps even him. He briefly wondered how he would react if anything happened to you or your brother… for even if he was unwilling to admit it, he was certainly attached to you both. 

His Watsons. 

He shoved the dreadful thought from his mind, assuring himself that nothing would change should something unfortunate happen… not that he would ever allow something to happen. He supposed that was the true problem. How far would he go to keep both of you safe? When he looked over at you again, you’d quieted considerably with John’s nose tucked in your hair as you let out small hiccups. Sherlock could tell John disliked it as much as he did when you cried, the man looking pained as he rubbed your back softly. You carefully separated yourself from your brother, pausing to give him a kiss on the cheek as you whispered, “Thank you, John,” before moving back to your seat at the table to wind your fingers around a pencil. You needed to think, to remember, it was the only way you could move on and for you, the only way to do that was to sketch. You spent the next three days in almost complete silence, borrowing more of John’s clothes and spending hours on end drawing in a chair by the window in something similar to Sherlock’s post-case sulking but without the whining or condescending statements. John knew this was your way of dealing with loss and was just glad that he’d managed to avoid you going through one of your destructive fits or locking yourself away. He also noticed that you seemed to have forgiven Sherlock since you weren’t completely ignoring him and he on occasion made you tea or pulled your hand into his to relieve the tension. Neither of them pushed you to talk or move, giving you time to process everything and come to terms with it. Something you greatly appreciated. Other than your silent presence, things in 221B pretty much went back to normal- John worked a handful of shifts at the clinic in between updating his blog and Sherlock busied himself with an experiment that involved removing the corneas from human eyeballs and shining different colored and wattage of lights through them. John thought it was odd and a little disgusting but was numb to it and you observed it with a kind of quiet curiosity, no doubt putting what you saw down in your sketchbook. On the fourth day, John got up to find you sitting on the couch, dressed in your own clothes, staring at your mobile phone on the coffee table with your hands intertwined over your mouth in nervous thought. You looked up for a second, offering a distracted, “Morning, Johnny,” before going back to staring at your phone and he raised an eyebrow at you, “Feeling better, Squeak?” “I guess so, yeah,” you huffed before scooping up the phone and quickly dialing a number, drumming your fingers on your leg as you waited for someone to pick up. John moved to the kitchen but could hear you take a deep breath before offering a solemn, “Bonjour, Madame Ares. C’est (F/n). Je crains de mauvaises nouvelles.” He could only assume that what came after was a brief explanation of what had happened and you offering condolences before giving them Lestrade’s number and ending the call with a soft, “Je suis désolé pour votre perte. Au revoir.” You were just setting down your phone when John sank down on the couch next to you and offered you a much-needed cup of tea, “You alright?” Taking the tea, you let out a huff of air, staring at the space in front of you for a moment before looking over at him to nod, “Yeah. I think I am. Thanks, Johnny.” 

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and kissed your temple before getting up to sit at the table with the paper and his laptop, “Have you seen the camera? I wanted to upload some of the photos we took on the last case.” You joined him at the table, stealing a section of the newspaper as you hummed, “I haven’t but Sherlock destroyed the memory chip the day before last so I think you’ll have to do without.” John groaned, wondering how exactly his flatmate had managed that, and for the first time in a few days you chuckled, reaching over to ruffle his hair before getting up to retrieve your sketchbook as you offered, “If it means that much to you, I can scan in some of my sketches and you can use those.” You opened your sketchbook to the pages from the case he was referring to and handed it to him as he raised an eyebrow, “You’d let me?” “Why not?” you shrugged indifferently, taking your empty cup back to the kitchen while John looked over the pages, calling, “These are even better than the photos. I’d love to use them.” Appearing to lean on the kitchen doorframe, you looked over your section of the newspaper as you stated, “I’ll scan them and email them to you before I leave for work.” “You’re going back to work?” “Have to pay my rent somehow,” you sighed, returning the newspaper to the table before giving your brother quick side hug, “Speaking of which, I have to go get ready… I’ll give a yell when I leave.” He gave you a small grin and handed your sketchbook back, “Alright, Squeak. Have a good day and thank you for the sketches.” Sherlock still wasn’t up by the time you had to leave and John was happily adding your sketches to his blog so you called out a quick farewell and slipped out the door. Annie wasn’t there when you got to the café, which was how you’d expected it since she was dealing with her own grief over Timmy and you’d offered to watch over the place while she took a day. What you didn’t expect was a small red envelope to be sitting in the cubby you normally stashed your stuff in. Scooping it up to run your fingers over the stiff crimson paper, you opened it and pulled out a crisp white card with swirling black lettering on it that simply read, “I. O. U. –M” You shrugged, stowing it away in your bag as you assumed it was from Mycroft referring to the favor he’d done you of getting you out of trouble, and went about your day at work. By the end of the day, you’d forgotten all about the mysterious little card, leaving it tucked away in the front of your sketchbook, and didn’t think about it again for a long time.

Tags <3:

@team-free-sherlock @multifandom-ramblings @madshelily @severusminerva @yes-but-theyre-my-dorks @smitemewiththysherlock @not-fandom-addicted @unknownwonder @deducingdevil @aviien @mrsfrankensteinsworld @lolamurphy @bakerstreethound @musical-doll-x @protectteamfreewill @delightful-pirate @lilcutekittykat @broke-and-overwhelmed @adri1ii @turtle-at-the-disco @fanfictionsilove @chasedbyhowlingwolves @thorkyrie-rights

[anxiety-n-chill]

Draft of My Ohmtoonz Fanfic

Chapter Warnings:

Homophobia, Cursing, Mention of shooting and guns and death, Mental Breakdown, Crying, Abuse, Anxiety, Insecurities.

____________________________________

    Sickness was not always physical. For example, depression.

I had always been a happy person, or at least I tried my best, but recently it's become impossible to even fake it. I know it's just petty internet shit, we all deal with haters, but it's not the same. These people seem to know me, know my weaknesses.

'Your shit sucks, Luke. Fucking quit already'.

'Faggot!'

'You and Ohmwrecker god fucking queers'.

'Your father must fucking be so disappointed'.

'Should've been aborted'.

Positive people, true fans, protected me in the replies, but it didn't help. These just struck me. It's like they knew...knew about my secrets.

My laptop interrupted my thoughts with the familiar ring of a Skype call. I debated on ignoring it, but keeping myself in this depressing slump would just make things worse. I scooted my chair away from my setup and grabbed the laptop off my bed. I briefly smiled and the little collage of bunny stickers.

Opening up, I see the call was from the one and only Ohmwrecker. With a breathy chuckle, I answer.

"Good day, Ohmie," I greet. As usual, Ohm had his camera turned off, and I returned it with my own camera off.

"Toonzy! How's you?" Ryan's little giggle sends another smile on my face.

"Good..." I swallow as the hate comments return in my mind. Ryan catches this somehow; he's one of my best friends, of course he would.

Ryan gets serious. "Don't lie to me, Luke. What's up, man?"

I sigh and admit I had read the hate comments on my recent video. This isn't the first time I've put myself through torment like this, and Ryan had comforted me then too.

"Oh, Luke," Ryan says quietly, "We talked about this. Maybe it's best to turn off the comments on videos if they're getting bad like that."

"It would raise questions from fans," I answer, "And I can't ignore the true fans. I just...I just wish I was so damn sensitive."

"You're not sensitive, Luke," Ryan comforts, "Maybe go over to Del's house for a bit. He'd certainly get your mind off things."

I debate this for a minute. It wouldn't be a bad idea, and I haven't hung out with Jon in a while.

"Yeah I think I will," I say, "I'll text him now. I'll call you later, maybe we can record? Oh, also, thanks for the bunny stickers."

I hear Ryan give another laugh.

"Of course, Toonzy. See ya."

"Love ya, man."

And with that, I end the call. I place the laptop back onto my bed and return to my setup. Grabbing my phone, I send a quick text to Jon.

'yo u open to hang?'

I doubted he would be awake at 2pm, but it was worth a shot. To my surprise, my phone dinged soon after I laid it down.

'helllll yeah! just cum ovr whenevr man'

'k, ill get there in about an hour'

'cool beans'

I lay my phone back down and look at my desktop. The comments were still open on the screen.

'Faggot'.

'Queer'.

'Burn in hell, gay bitch'.

I close the tab with a sharp inhale. Ryan is right, looking at these won't help. I need to get out.

Before I change my mind, I go get a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. Freshening up and splashing some water on my face calms me down a bit. I slide on my boots and grab my phone, then my keys.

I head out of my house, making sure to lock my door behind me. As I walk to the driver's side of my car, I reach over my hood to swat away the neighborhood stray cat off. It gives me a disapproving look and runs away into the hole of my neighbor's fence.

As soon as my car starts, a song softly starts to play though the speakers.

"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you."

That's depressing, too depression for me. I click the station off and connect it to Bluetooth, quickly restarting a podcast I had began last week.

Nothing interesting broke me from my depressing and lonely thoughts on the way over to Jon's. I guess the universe wants me to suffer.

The ride wasn't as long as I expected, guess I zoned out. Turning off my phone and car, I exit and make my way up to Jon's front door.

The doorbell was able to be faintly heard outside, though it was drowned out by the sound of pounding footsteps.

Jon opens the door wide and stands there with a big smile. "CARTOONZ," he laughs loudly.

Jon, surprisingly, was a lot taller than me, even taller than Bryce. He had black hair than stayed in a short buzz, and he has a bit of a stumble on his chin. His skin was very pale, and his eyes were a dark gray. Jon is a lanky fellow, but don't doubt his strength. He's a stubborn bitch.

"Hey, man," I chuckle and give him a quick hug. He closes the door behind me and leads me into his kitchen.

"Coke?" I nod and he tosses a Pepsi to me and grabs a 7up for himself. I silently disagree with his choice, but hey, he's a hater of Pepsi and is kink enough to keep some in his fridge for me.

"So what's good," he asks as he leaps up onto his counter to sit. I lean against on the counter beside him.

"Um..." I know I should talk to him about it, but Jon is like my little brother. I shouldn't put this all on him.

  "Ey man," Jon says more seriously, "What's wrong, Luke."

  I give him the same story as Ryan. My heart feels heavy again.

  Jon's knuckles are white at the edge of the countertop. "Fucking assholes. Wish I could teach em a lesson," he growls.

  "Jon, they're probably kids.." I say. Jon nods but is still tense.

  "I don't want anything to happen to you, Luke," he says quietly, "Not after high school."

  I gulp. I dated Jon's sister, Lucille, in high school, and me and Jon got close. Though her and I aren't together now, him and I still see each other as family. I grew up with depression, and Jon was there along with Lucille. They saw the worst of me.

  "I'm not a teen anymore," I mumble, "I should be able to handle this."

  "You aren't expect to handle shit! Lil fuckfaces shoulda grow up!" he says sternly. I smile a bit at his frustrated face.

  "I know, Jonny," I sigh, "but hey, they're not wrong..."

  Jon snorts, "They are. Bein' bi don't make you uh-uh fag!"

  I came out to Jon a bit after I left Lucille. It wasn't a rough breakup, even after dating for 8 years. We both knew it just wasn't for us as adults, more like a teen fling. Anyway, coming out to Jon was rough. He was accepting, and even told me he was gay. We cried together in our shared apartment. Afterwards, we drank cheep beer and played Mario cart.

  I give a little chuckle and Jon belts out a loud laugh. This is why this dumbfuck was my best friend. He can never fail to make me laugh.

"Hey, so me and Ohm wanna record t'night," I say after we calm down, "You up for some?" I see Jon dart his eyes for a second and bite the inside of his mouth. Fuck, what did this boy do now.

"Uh well I gots plans," he says awkwardly, "I promise Ev-Vanoss...that I'd play GTA." That's nothing unusual, so why is he all flustered?

"What's up, though? You're gettin all red," I ask with concern. Jon takes a chug from his 7up and swallows slowly to waste time.

"Uh...Vanoss wants to meet up."

"Oh shit," I gasp. Jon hasn't met the others- in person at least. Meaning they haven't seen his face. None of them know why he don't show his face expect me.

Bullies fucking suck.

"So...are you gonna?" I ask after a pause. Jon gulps and shrugs.

"I wanna...b-but ya know man," he sighs, "What if it gets online, or he expect something else."

I've heard this from Jon many times whenever he brings up fans wanting a face reveal. But this is different. This is his best friend Evan asking.

"Don't if you don't wanna 100%," I say, "I'll go with you if that'ul help." Jon nods and finishes his drink.

"I'll think about it."

After a few hours of watching movies and playing games, I say bye and head home. As soon as I do, a text lights up my phone.

'you home, toonz?'

I quickly unlock my phone to answer Ryan.

'yeah am now wuzzup?'

'bryce wants to play duo with me on some new game, trynna see what game you got in mind'

'uno?'

'I'm up for it, maybe he can join and put off his game'

'cool with me'

I head to my bedroom after grabbing a slice of pizza from last nights dinner. I open up my desktop and go to tumblr just to waste time as Ryan tries to convince Bryce to play.

- - -

So this is the first chapter (draft) and I would like opinions! There’s another little part after this that switches to Del’s POV with Vanoss n shit but I’m pretty solid on that. Feel free to criticize :3

[rogue-barnes-16]

THAT PUNK (part I /?)

Summary: Some people don't distinguish between hate and love. Some people do, but fail to express it.

Pairing: 40's!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags: —

Warnings: language (?), jumps in time, maybe a bit cliché.

A/N: this is a multipart, but not a miniseries, I hope you enjoy it (^u^). Also, you'll have the forgive me but I couldn't put other Gif like, c'mon, did you see him?!

(aesthetic) (part I) (part II) (part III) (part IV) (part V) (part VI)

"Moooooom!" I cried, running with tears in my eyes. "Mommy!" I saw my mother sitting besides Winifred at the park, and I approached them. As soon as the women saw me, they stood up to meet me.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" My mother asked me whilst hugging me. I felt James's mother caressing my hair trying to calm my sobs. I hugged tighter my mother as I heard James running towards us, yelling my name.

"Y/n! Don't!" he said, and I turned around to see his mother standing up and grabbing James by his left arm. "Ouch!"

"James Buchanan Barnes, what did you do to Y/n?!" I looked at James with tears in my eyes and I could see he was begging me to stay quiet about what happened. "James!"

"Nothing!" he raised his voice, slightly scared, even though we both knew that his mother wouldn't lay a finger on him, nor would mine. "I-I promise. She fell, I didn't do anything!" he glanced at me again. The difference was that now my mother and his where looking at me too.

"Y/n, honey, if James did something to you, you can tell us." My mother said, rubbing my back reassuringly. I looked down, not wanting to see James's face. Should I say that truth?

"I fell" I muttered, and I could practically hear James's sigh of relief. However, our mothers looked at me in disbelief. They were our mothers, after all, so they knew when we lied. But they agreed on pretending to believe us.

"You're grounded for a week, young boy." I heard Winifred whispering before going with my mother back to the bench where they were.

"Thank you" James muttered, looking down. I took the chance to look at him. He had the red mark of my palm on his face, but it was almost unnoticeable. "For not telling them I k-"

"Leave me alone, James." I hissed, cleaning the tears which were wetting my cheeks. He tried to talk again but I pressed my ears with my hands and I closed my eyes "LEAVE ME ALONE OR I'LL TELL THEM" I yelled. When I opened my eyes, James was already gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

James left me alone for a year and a half. Each time our mothers met, we saw each other, but that was all. I kind of missed him, and I was starting to think I made a mistake, but when I finally decided to apologize, James stopped going out with his mother.

A couple of days later, I was at the park, picking flowers, when I saw James talking with a group of older boys. I didn't think twice before jogging towards him and hugging him. "Hi James!" I said, but I didn't feel him hugging me back.

When I pulled back, I frowned at him, and then at the older boys, who where laughing by now. "Bucky, do you know this baby?" one of them asked. So now it was Bucky, not James.

James looked at me and didn't hesitate even a second. "No, I don't think so." I looked at him confused, and then at the older boys. I felt my cheeks reddening as I looked again at James, well, at Bucky.

"I-I'm sorry" I muttered, looking into his eyes for an instant I saw the same fear in his eyes he had had a year and a half ago, when he made me lie at our mothers.

But then, that mocking smirk came back "listen just leave us alone, go to play with your dolls or something." he said, and the other boys laughed. I felt my lower lip quivering and I turned around to leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few years passed, and I started to get along pretty well with James's younger sister, Rebecca.

Whenever I went to Winifred's house to pick up Rebecca, I would wait for her outside, not wanting to see him. Maybe I was being childish, but it wasn't just the fact that I was still hurt, it was also the fact that I thought James didn't want me in his life.

One day I knocked the door and James opened it. He looked at me for a couple of seconds before turning around "Becca, your friend's here!" he said, and, without looking at me again, he went to sit down in the small living room.

A couple of minutes later, Rebecca got out of her room, frowning at his brother. "her name is Y/n, Buck. Could you be a bit nicer?" she asked bitterly. Becca didn't know we were friends once, she just knew we didn't get along.

"Come back in time. Y'know Ma'll get angry if you're not" Rebecca huffed and got out, holding my hand and guiding me out of the building.

"ignore him, he's so stupid sometimes" she said walking besides me. She was telling me something, but I couldn't focus on her, I was still thinking about James's words. I was no longer Y/n. I was just Becca's friend.

"Does he hate me?" I asked out of the blue, startling Becca. She frowned confused and tilted her head slightly. "Your brother. Does he hate me?"

"oh" Becca pursed her lips before answering my question. "well... I think he doesn't like you" she mumbled, adding quickly something else. "but Bucky is just like this y'know? He's a bit of a jerk."

"Okay." I muttered, trying to smile at her. Probably it was my fault that we ended up like this. After all, it took me a year and a half to apologize to him.

"seriously Y/n, don't worry." Becca reassured me "Ma told me he's just one actual friend, Steve. So I guess he's not nice."

"I dunno Becca, he seems really nice and caring when he's talking to you." I wanted to say he was nice and caring, because I knew he used to be. He probably still was.

She just shrugged "why d'ya care anyways?" she gasped and smiled playfully at me. "You like Bucky, don't cha?"

"no, oh my... Of course not Becca." I sighed and I told her about our friendship.

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

"I froze again, Ma" I muttered. My mother had just arrived, and when I didn't greet her, she knew something was wrong. She sat with me and asked me about it. "I just... I dunno what to say, she hates me."

"Darlin', she doesn't hate you." she said, making the dinner. "She's just... Hurt" she added hesitant, and I knew she deep down thought Y/n hated me.

"y'know that's not true, Ma." I sighed and got up to finish the dinner by myself, since my mother had to go to work already.

She pecked my cheeks and rubbed my back. "don't give up, darlin'. I'm sure she'll forgive you." she grabbed her coat and turned around to remind me something.

"I'll make sure Becca's here in time, don't worry." She smiled at me and, with a quick 'love ya', she got out.

I had just finished dinner and it Rebecca had an hour left, so I sat in the living room and I started to read a book, just to be interrupted by the door opening, letting in a pretty mad Rebecca. "you fucking jerk!" she yelled. "how can you be so damn idiot?!"

"Rebecca, watch your language!" I warned her startled, shutting the book I was reading "and what did I exactly do to deserve this?" she hissed a 'you damn well know' and walked to her room.

I didn't even noticed Becca wasn't alone, until the door closed. Y/n glanced briefly at me before looking down, walking towards Becca's room "Becca wait, please."

[mingyoozi]

Wonwoo: Blood for Blood, Bloom for Bloom (pt. 2)

photo cred ©

[table of contents] I. II. III. IV.

Summary: second part… where shall we go with this story…. (also I didn’t mention this in the first part but in case u were confused mingyu is a Prince™ cuz he’s wonwoo’s cousin)

Wonwoo’s personality in private is so different from his personality in a public space. His smile is less flattering, completely different from the smile he gives you that makes your breath catch in your throat. This smile makes your heart skip a beat, it makes your cheeks flush pink and your stomach feel warm. His nose crinkles up and his cheeks fill out. The atmosphere shifts entirely, the air feeling warm and bright around you.

He manages to coax secrets out of you, things that not even Jieun knows. They tumble from your lips without a second thought, and he listens to each one intently, his face cycling through a range of emotions but always managing to come back to joy.

The clock strikes midnight and you’re still sitting on a bench out in the Queen’s Gardens in the middle of a heavy conversation.

“I really enjoy talking to you.” He says, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Yes, this has been a very enjoyable evening, your highness.” You say.

He leans in close, placing his lips beside your ear. Your heart starts to race in your chest. “You can drop the formalities. There’s no one around to accuse you of treason, and I certainly won’t.” His voice is soft and delicate and barely audible.

You drop your head as you feel your face start to heat up.

“Of course.” You agree with a nod.

He stands suddenly and offers you a hand. You gather your skirt in one hand and take his extended one in the other.

“We should probably get back,” He suggests. “My mother will want me to see the guests out.”

“Yes,” You nod. You lace your arms together and allow him to guide you back towards the castle. “I should make sure that my sister is resting peacefully.”

You part ways at the castle door, bowing your head out of tradition and courtesy before you take your leave. You make it out of the way just as the doors are opening to let the party goers out to their carriages.You look back as you slink into the castle and find that Wonwoo is watching you with a smile on his face. You return it with a smile of your own, your cheeks turning pink as you scuttle back towards Jieun’s room.

-

Roses have always been Jieun’s favourite flower. She loves the juxtaposition of the delicate, pink petals with their thorn-covered stems. Now, though, seeing those petals collecting in her chamberpot, covered in blood and spit, makes her stomach recoil and her head spin. They spill from her lips like an avalanche, and each new petal sparks a burning hatred for the plant.

“Your highness,”

It’s a title that she hasn’t gotten used to yet. She hasn’t been the queen for more than two days, and she doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be fit for the position.

“Yes?” She replies, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Let me help you back to your bed.”

Jieun take’s the maid’s hand with barely any strength, allowing herself to be pulled onto two quivering legs. Each step feels like its taken on a bed of glass shards, and the winces leave her mouth as easily as the petals do.

“Is my sister coming?” Jieun asks, laying down on the mattress and curling up onto her side. She prefers to sleep on her back, but the doctor had told her that it would be dangerous, should her sick spells overtake while she slept.

The maid nods her head as she pulls the blankets up over Jieun’s shoulders. “I do believe that she’s slept in your bed every night since you came down with the illness.”

Jieun closes her eyes and hums. “My sweet sister. Make sure that she’s taken care of when I’m gone.”

“Your highness, don’t say such things. You’ll live a long and prosperous life as the queen of this kingdom.” The maid scolds her.

If Jieun had the energy, she would laugh. But she doesn’t, so she settles for sighing and sinking into the mattress.

It doesn’t take long for you to show up in her doorway, and Jieun smiles a sleepy smile at you as you approach her.

“Hi,” She says, reaching out towards you.

You take her hand in yours and sit by her torso, the bed dipping under your weight. Jieun struggles to hold your hand with a strength that matches yours, and she feels her stomach sink at the realization.

“Let me change into my nightclothes, and then I’ll join you.” You say.

Jieun lets her smile speak for her, placed softly on her face as if to say ‘thank you.’ You tuck her hair behind her ear and place a kiss to her forehead before you depart from her bedside.

-

Mingyu’s fingers close around nothing but the cold breeze of a spring morning. It settles over his bare skin, sending a chill down his spine. He winces as the pain in his head is enunciated by the feeling of the cool air on his face.

“My prince,” He hears muttered behind him.

A slender arm wraps around his waist from behind him. Mingyu cringes, lifting the arm from his body.

“I’m afraid that there has been a mistake.” He says, sitting up and facing the mysterious woman in his bed.

Staring back at him is a foreign princess, one that he had been briefly introduced to the night before. She has a pretty face and a pretty form, but he can’t bring himself to feel anything for her. His head throbs, a reminder of just exactly how many mistakes he had made.

“Is there anyone you must be faithful towards besides our king?” She asks him, cocking her head to the side in a way that should affect Mingyu in one way or another, and yet he still feels nothing.

“No, I’m unmarried.” He says.

She smiles. “Then what about any of this was a mistake? No one has to know.”

“Of course,” Mingyu says, returning her smile with a smile of his own. “You should leave.”

Her smile drops immediately and her face turns into one of complete scandalization. She throws the blankets back, biting back an argument, and shrugs on her clothes from the party all without breaking her glare. Mingyu lays back and watches her leave before snuggling back into his bed and falling back into a light sleep.

He’s awakened only a few minutes later by his door slamming open and a light weight settling on his shins.

“You should put some clothes on.” You say, and Mingyu finds something off-putting about the way that you manage to remain so impassive while sitting on top of his naked body.

“Why? There’s nothing important about today.” He says, keeping his eyes closed and a distant smile on his face.

“King Wonwoo was a few steps behind me.” You say.

Mingyu shakes his head and throws an arm over his eyes. “We’ve shared a bath before, it really is nothing to be concerned by.” He says, and he can just imagine how absolutely unimpressed you look.

-

Sometimes, it’s incredibly difficult for you to realize what’s happening until it’s already happened. Wonwoo visits you with tears in his eyes. He takes your hand in his without saying a word. You close the book that you had been reading, leaving it on your bed, and you let him lead you out of your sanctuary.

“Where are you taking me?”

You’re met with silence.

“Wonwoo, please. What’s happening?”

Again, he says nothing.

Your heart starts to race and your vision blurs with tears that leave hot trails as they fall down your cheeks, against your will. He leads you through the castle, and out into the warmth of a spring afternoon. Petals from the cherry blossom trees in the courtyard fly around you, landing in your hair and in your eyelashes, but Wonwoo shows no interest in how beautiful the grass looks covered in a layer of soft pink satin.

Your hand aches by the time he lets go, and your lungs burn with unfamiliar exhaustion. It takes a moment for you to recognize your surroundings. You’ve stopped outside of the queen’s private quarters. Wonwoo steps to the side to speak to one of the guards outside of Jieun’s door, saying something that you can’t hear. Your heart drops into your stomach, and the tears start to fall more carelessly from your eyes.

“Y/N,” Wonwoo says, placing a hand on your shoulder. You flinch.

Your mind starts to run on autopilot. You take your first step into the room and your only intention is to sit at Jieun’s beside and hold her hand, but an arm around your waist stops you.

The nurse speaks from Jieun’s side, a place that is rightfully yours. “She’s resting.”

“For how long?” You ask.

The nurse drops her gaze to her own hands. She’s choosing her words carefully, and you can almost see the cogs turning in her head. “It’s uncertain,” She says. “She’s been like this since the morning. Nothing will wake her.”

Usually, your face holds a facade of joy and content, completely unfazed by the fact that the only piece of family that you have left spends her days dying in her bed with no remedy for her illness. You hold on so tight that your cheeks burn with fatigue by the end of the day and you cry yourself to sleep.

Today, though, your heart shatters and the mask of happiness shatters with it. Your throat burns and it takes a while for you to realize that you’re letting out a strangled mix of yelling and sobbing. Wonwoo’s arms are strong around your waist, and they hold you against his body until Mingyu comes into the room and takes you from his hold. You resist, crashing your fists against Mingyu’s chest.

“Do something, Mingyu, please. You have to.” You cry.

“There’s nothing I can do.” He says. He wraps his arms around you and cradles you to his chest, but you push him away and stumble towards the door with tears in your eyes.

“I’ll be taking my leave, your highness,” You stammer, bowing your head in Wonwoo’s direction. “Please make sure that my sister is taken care of.”

Mingyu’s cries of your name are muffled in your head by the sound of your own sobbing. You flee down the hallway to your own room, barring the door behind you. It doesn’t take long before there are knocks on your door, begging you to come out and speak to someone, but you curl up into a ball on your bed and lay there until you fall asleep.

prev.   next.

[thirdhostage]

Night sky (Mark x TwinFemReader) fluff aghast

(( gif not mine - CUTIE ))

(A/n): lmao this request is weird and I love it.

Request:  If you’re still doing request, do you think you could do a mark x female twin reader where they getting into a big fight so she leaves without telling anybody but eventually comes back and it’s clear that they’re both wrecks without their twin? Fluffy angst? Sorry, I just really like twin stuff ☺️

Warnings: Swearing and sadness and fluff and kill me

_____

Okay so sharing a house in general, is not always fun. Sharing a house with three other men, can be fun but also not fun. But, sharing a house with your twin brother, fun and terrible.

But, (Y/n) shared a house with them because her and Mark had always worked together on everything. The pair of them had started this channel together; with (Y/n) behind the scenes and Mark in front of the camera.

Yeah, sometimes it was stressful, especially for Mark. He had to maintain his public image all the time.

The two of them had each other though. They pair really were inseparable, as most twins are.

“Mark, I swear to fuck if you don’t put the seat down one more time, I’m selling your dick on the black market.”

Screaming things such as this across the house was likely common. All the person in question would do, though, is giggle and run away. Because she lives with several five year olds.

“Kill me now…” (Y/n) mumbled.

Walking down the stairs cautiously, she had split her path and strut into the large kitchen.

“Mark.” the girl growled.

Her fraternal twin was standing there next the the fridge with chica at his feet.

“Hmm??”

“Did you even hear what I just said?” she questioned harshly.

“Well yeah, but I was busy adoring Chica that I didn’t have time to care.” he joked.

(Y/n) rolled her eyes with venom soaking her usually sweet expression. This was also very common. Him not caring about a lot of things his twin had to say.

“Mark I’m serious. This is a small bathroom incident but it just further proves the point that you don’t listen.”

Her words didn’t register in his ears or even get past her lips it seemed. The brunette was too busy baby talking his dog.

All (Y/n) could manage to do was sigh dramatically. It pissed her off that he didn’t take the time to hear her, and the frustration showed.

“I’m going to get dressed.” the girl commented stiffly.

“Not that you care..”

As (Y/n) made her way slowly back up the stairs, Ethan passed her stride joyfully.

“Mooooring, (Y/n).” he called, stopping his bouncy walk to face her politely.

“Yeah.” she replied blandly.

She continued her walk of shame up the last four steps, and sauntered into her room. Ethan was left staring up the way (Y/n) had gone, visibly confused, borderline concerned.

Though it was the usual time for them all to share breakfast, the youtuber had lost her appetite.

“I’m not going to sit here and sulk, at least.” she mumbled.

Shuffling around her room, (Y/n)’s soft hum strung lightly in the air. The (h/c) haired girl collected a pair of clean jeans and blank shirt, throwing over a loose cardigan.

For the second time, she made her way down the stairs.

As (Y/n) walked into the kitchen, she took the liberty of rolling up her sleeves briefly. Stepping to the cabinet, she had gestured for Mark to move over.

“I’d ask, but I’m sure you wouldn’t hear me.” (Y/n) hissed.

Reaching up to grab herself a pale plastic cup, (Y/n) caught in the corner of her eye her brother mouth what she had just said, with crude facial expressions.

The girl wanted to sigh and apologize, but she thought it might be best to guilt trip him instead. (Y/n) had really wanted to make her point.

After obtaining her glass, she went to the fridge, passing by Ethan who sat at the table. He sat there, chewing his toast silently, feeling and seeing the tension but being shit scared to say anything.

The youtuber pried open the refrigerator, viewing its contents wearily.

Dramatically, she then twisted to face the blue boy.

“Do we not have any more milk?” (Y/n) asked kindly.

Ethan nervously smiled back up at the (e/c) eyed girl, shaking his head briskly with a mouth full of bread.

This time (Y/n) did sigh “I could have asked Mark, oh but he wouldn’t have given a shit.”

Mark rolled his eyes and aggressively threw up his arms.

“So what? Now you’re going to pout all fucking day because I made one joke?!”

(Y/n) actually wasn’t surprised by his outburst, in fact the (size) girl anticipated it.

“No, I’m trying to get a fucking point across! Because repetition is the only thing you see from me.” she scoffed.

Mark just clicked his tongue and stared at his twin intensely.

“That’s because I really couldn’t give less of a fuck what you say.”

“Yeah, I already know–” she began. At this point she had already had enough this. (Y/n)’s aim was to apologize now, but that sure wasn’t Mark’s.

“No, I mean I really don’t care. What you have to say means jackshit at the point, you aren’t actually valuable to any of my project’s whatsoever.” Mark spat “I’m honestly baffled why the hell you still live with me.”

That struck home immediately. Why was she living with him? Because… well this was what the two of them had worked for for a long time…

“…” (Y/n) stood there in silence.

Ethan took a second to stand up, his eyes already gone wide. He opened his mouth stiffly and said “I don’t think you should have said that.”

Mark’s knees felt as though they could give out at the calmest of movements. Before being able to actually say anything, the brunette opened and closed his mouth several times, looking between his sister and Ethan.

“(Y/n), oh my god… I’m…” he began, heartfelt hurting twisting his words.

“The sun is so bright…” came Tyler’s airy voice, entering the kitchen lazily.

He stretched backwards, and held in a yawn “Morning.”

The girl took this as any sort of cue to leave.

She stepped her way rigidly from the room. Mark could be heard yelling her name before Ethan called a loud “Wait!” but it wasn’t for (Y/n).

(Y/n) turned to face the stairs, staring up at them blankly.

She had made up her mind. Even in her dazed state, she knew for certain she did not want to be here of all places, right now.

❆   ❆   ❆ 

The girl had left. The house, I mean. She took her car from in front of the house and went away.

Of course she didn’t have any plans as to where she desired to go. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought she didn’t want to go anywhere at all.

So she drove and drove. And drove some more. Where (Y/n) ended up was half way across L.A, parked on the side of the road.

As she sat there breathing heavily, she was able to feel in her pocket, her phone vibrating. Not at all wanting to see any of the messages; she pulled it out against her better judgement.

- Loud blue boy: (Y/n)?

- Loud blue boy: I think you should come out of your room…

- Loud blue boy: wait r u even in your room??? :0

- Loud blue boy: Wait wait (Y/n) where are you?!

(Y/n)’s screen was lit up with messages from Ethan; they made her laugh a bit as she wiped at her eye.

The girl was happy she didn’t apply makeup this morning, noticing now that she had been crying most of the time she was driving.

A blunt sting cut through her upper chest. She didn’t want to be away from Ethan or Tyler. Especially not Mark. She had heard what Mark had said, but her mind wanted to know that he was lying. (Y/n) didn’t want to leave him…

“It’s been what, twenty minutes and I already miss them?” she mumbled softly.

Chancing her blurry eyes, (Y/n)’s gaze fell upon the digital clock in her car. It read in bright blue 4:58pm.

A quaint gasp bubbled from her throat, making (Y/n) sputter a bit in breath.

‘Six hours, what the hell.’ she thought.

Swiping furiously at her eyes once more, (Y/n) pulled off the side of the road and dealt out a most likely illegal U-turn. The youtuber began to go back the way she came, offering her silence a thick sigh.

❆   ❆   ❆

“I fucked up didn’t I?” Mark sniffed.

He was sat in the very middle of the kitchen, balling his eyes out, with a very not okay head.

“A little…” Tyler lulled. Tyler had been explained what had happened, and if he was honest, he was pretty disappointed in the two of them.

“Oh god, what if she never comes back?” Mark cries, heartbroken at the very thought “What if she just moves out and takes all her stuff with her and doesn’t say goodbye? Takes all her belongings, her memories.”

“I’m not sure that she would do that.” Ethan pats his back in an effort to console him.

Mark twists his head to look at the blue haired man and stares at him directly in the eyes.

“Ethan, I’m not ready to have her for once not take me.”

Now Ethan was the one heartbroken. He could see sufferable pain in Mark’s deep brown eyes.

“Hey, Mark, I believe that’s (Y/n)’s car pulling in…” Tyler spoke.

In an instant, the brunette had scrambled to his feet and with a deathly silence, watched the door.

Within a few seconds, it had opened quietly; softly. (Y/n)’s form slipped through the opening.

The current time was 11:23pm, from the moment that Mark saw (Y/n) in the doorway, to the second Mark had sprinted to her and snared her in a hug. The minute hand on the clock hadn’t even moved a millimeter between the two.

“Mark…” (Y/n)’s voice cracked. She wasn’t able to hug him back, or even close the door. Her twin had her arms confined under his own.

Mark also wasn’t able to say anything, it seems, other than ‘I’m sorry’ in repetition.

“Repetition, that’s all I ever hear from you.” (Y/n) laughed softly, sniffing a bit now and again.

The male raised his head to her words, showing her a sad, dopey smile. The stars in open night sky reflecting on his watery black eyes; making his sister smile back at him ten fold.

_____

(A/n): Boi this is so long I hated editing it. I can’t frickin read today, lordy

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

I Give Up Q&A

@daeyeonis

igu was great I cried like every chapter ok fam but- why the hot dog lmao

Im assuming this is for the Q&A since there is a question involved. Dood…why did Hot dog dress up as a hot dog for Halloween? Because chanyeol told her to go for funny over sexy. Why did i choose a hot dog costume? Its the second thing i thought of after a crunchy taco. A friend of mine owns a crunchy taco costume but we are mexican so its a familiar funny food item to us, but i was thinking about my international readers who might be more familiar with a Hot Dog, so i went with that. I literally make this stuff up…i just randomly picked something and then once drunk Yixing referred named her by her costume (was it chapter 21?), well the nickname stuck.

Anon Did anything go down between Baekhyun and Sehun on behind the scenes?

The real conflict between the two came from the bet that the EXO members made about Baekhyun and Hot Dog …they placed secret bets on the day the lovely couple would make up and get back together. Sehun had picked the night of the halloween party so he knew he had to pull out all the stops and use every trick he had up his sleeve In order to win. Sehun knew that Baek was the protective, jealous type and he used that to his advantage, getting Hot Dog good and drunk and hanging around her all night, being as flirty as he could be and making sure that Baekhyun saw all of it. When Baekhyun found out that Sehun got Hot Dog drunk on purpose and hung out with her all night within the eyeline of Baekhyun, just so that they would makeup that night and Sehun would win the bet, Baekhyun didn’t speak with Sehun for a whole week. At that point though it was kind of hard for Baek to stay mad when he and Hot Dog had made up and that happiness was so all consuming. Baek forgave Sehun after some expert whining and groveling.

Anon So…. does Junmyeon ever approve of Baek and Hot Dog’s relationship

Junmyeon approved after he met her during the dinner with Chanyeol. He found her to be intelligent and level headed and seeing the efforts she made to fight for their relationship after the breakup really made a good impression on him. He still makes sure to remind everyone of the importance of discretion and avoiding scandals, but he considers her part of the family now.

Anon Do you remember Baekhyun’s small notebook from chapter 19?? “You turned quickly and grabbed the small notebook you had resisted earlier off his nightstand and lifted it up…” Can you tell us now😅

Anon What about the notebook in chapter 19? What’s its secret? epilogue dood

Anon @ hotdog; did u get to read whatever was written on baek’s lil notebook?

the notebook will be in the epilogue.

Anon how many time passed from chapter 1 to chapter 28?

@jhopeismybutthole What amount of time did IGU take place in? Did main character hangout with other exo members after the costume party? Did baekhyun ask main characters dad for his blessing before officially proposing?

Baek and HD met in March of 2016, They celebrated their 100 day anniversary in July. Broke up around 200 days in October and got married just after their 300 day anniversary in January of 2017. :D

Things were a tiny bit awkward for HD and the other EXO members after the costume party. That was the night Baek and HD officially made up and Chanyeol, among other members heard them make up. It took a good couple of days before she could even look Chanyeol in the eye after that, but they all assured her that it was nothing that hadnt happened in the dorms before. Sehun was just happy to have won the bet. Kyungsoo was hoping Hot Dog and Baekhyun would work out because Baekhyun was far less annoying when he was in a relationship than when he was single, and Jongin always made it a point to strike up conversations with her when she was around. Just because they made up didn’t mean it was time for HD to neglect her super affectionate, rather needy boyfriend, and she continued to spend as much time with him during his off time as possible.

Baekhyun didn’t ask her father for permission to marry her. His reasoning was, they were already married, and it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. What’s done was done and he figured they were both about to be in a shit load of trouble anway, they might as well just go all the way.

Anon From where do you get ideas for the upcoming chapters?? I mean what you done with BHXHD in IGU I apparently wanted to know FROM WHERE you get the ideas btw I love you dood

From wheeeeeere? From my brain dood. I tend to pull from the living world around me. I’m always paying attention to things and people, plus i also have a degree in psychology so i have a pretty good understanding of human behavior. I read a lot so i understand how stories are structured and i write the kinds of things that i would enjoy reading myself, so usually these things translate well into my stories. I also listen to lots of music and find inspiration in nearly everything i watch and hear.

One of my most helpful brainstorming methods is talking the plot out with a friend. I have two people that i like to discuss the stories with and usually this helps me think of things, or ideas for things that i hadn’t considered before. :D

Anon Q&A IGU: Did you have the ending planned from the onset?

Nooo, i never know where im going with these stories when i first start them. Ill usually have a general flow of where i want to go, but its so vague that it usually gets modified along the way. Around chapter 15 i said to myself, okay i need some sort of a plan or this thing will be 100 chapters of all smut and nonsense. It felt like it had no real plot. So i had some ideas and some talks with friends about what would be a fun direction to take it. By chapter 26, i had a definite plan for 27 and 28. But i usually dont plan very hard. I let the story write itself.

Anon Did minah get to go home safe?

Minah did get home safely. Unfortunately the two men she had been eyeing all evening went home with each other so she stumbled home alone and rather grumpy. Her disgruntled mood changed to guilt and worry when she found out what happened with Youngshik and Hot Dog and she vowed to kick him hard in the nuts if she saw him again. She never got the chance before the police took him away to be dealt with.

Anon How will their parents react to that marriage omg.. like are they going to repeat a ceremony for their families and friends or (I can imagine Baek doing this) just showing them a picture from their drunk marriage and being like “we got married c:” ?

This will most likely be addressed in the epilogue.

@peter-pan-princess Is 2AM in the same universe as IGU and All His?

yes, IGU, All His and 2AM are all in the same universe. That means the Jongdae who was dressed as Minseok’s lady at the halloween party, is the same Jongdae who is dating Minhee, Minseok’s sister. And the dress he wore actually belonged to Minhee. She also helped with his makeup. The pictures that were leaked of Jongdae were actually an ex he saw briefly before he got together with Minhee.

Did Sehun ever get over his crush on Hot Dog?

sehun is a brat and he never had a real crush, he’s just a flirty guy who likes girls and likes to see what he can get away with. He’s also not to blame for any of it really, but the shorties Baek and Kyungsoo see him as a little bit of a threat because he’s tall and pretty and the girls seem to like him. Hes unintentionally playing against their insecurities.

@mexbaekhyun DO THEY END UP HAVIG KIDS???? I NEED TO KNOW

This will probably be addressed in the epilogue

Anon a weird question but what’s baek & hd’s fave positions in bed bc i feel like i know but i need a confirmation vdhwbdw

This story was so smutty you know what their favorite positions in bed are. But okay okay. Baekhyun really enjoys watching her during sex, so any position that puts her right into his line of sight is a good position. Not that the others are bad positions, he still likes sex in the shower, sex against the wall, sex with her bent over the kitchen table or the arm of the sofa but his favorite, favorite thing in the world is watching himself disappear over and over again as he sits up on his ankles, rolling his hips. She enjoys being on top and he’s always more than willing to give in to her. The memories of her riding on top of him with her head thrown back as she cums are what gets him through some of the lonelier nights when he’s away on tour.

Anon lmao I was thinking how cute baek would be if he got hotdog knocked up but he’s an idol and that would be like reeeeaaaalllyyy inconvenient but still cute tho. They’re goals 👌👌

Unplanned pregnancies are really inconvenient regardless of one’s profession. HD is super careful to always take her pill every day but honestly, anything is possible and Baekhyun and HotDog’s relationship trend seems to all be about the word “Whoops”…if it happens, it would most likely be unplanned and a very real shock for both of them.

I do honestly believe that Baekhyun would be an amazing and very devoted father and the two would tackle the challenge of parenthood together, despite the obvious inconveniences. :D

[newagesispage]

                                                                      JUNE                           2017

 PAGE RIB

*****The writers are working on Arrested Development season 5 which Netflix has confirmed is coming in 2018 with the full cast. Ron Howard tells us he is “Warming up my uncredited narrator vocal chords.”

*****The world was welcomed to Live with Kelly and Ryan! I admit that I don’t watch it but this surely won’t help. Why??  Why him?? His name recognition, his power, his falling ratings at E!? Seacrest showed his interview prowess by mistaking Jeffrey Tambor for Vincent Schiavelli, the now deceased actor from the subway in Ghost.  Read the new memoir Tambor was selling, Are you anybody?

*****Val Kilmer says he is healing from cancer.

*****Conan is being sued by a former writer of Leno’s. The man claims that Conan and his writers “lifted jokes from his blog.”  They deny the charges. TBS showed their belief by inking him to 4 more years. Next up an animated series called Final Space and more branching out on the way.

*****We miss U Gwen Ifill but Robert Costa is doing a great job on Washington Week!

*****Clerics are a bit uneasy about scary clown’s order to ease limitations on places of worship and their ability to talk politics from the pulpit. Some fear the two existing side by side and some are very happy to feel the freedom.

*****Nigerian school girls that were abducted 3 years ago are slowly being released. May has brought a second release after the first one in October.

*****Turkey’s President Ertogan sent his thugs out in Washington to beat peaceful protesters. There was no consequence for they have diplomatic immunity. Really? There must be limits. Welcome to Trumps America. **Turkey later gets upset about the ‘treatment’ of those bodyguards.

*****Jimmy Kimmel and his wife welcomed a baby boy named Billy. He was born with heart problems and Kimmel came out to explain to his audience before letting guest hosts take over the rest of the week.  His genuine concern for children that are not as fortunate financially was touching. Of course, those who vote against such things did not seem to agree.** Kimmel is also set to once again host the Oscars.

*****Scandal will run its last season next year.

*****Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is going on tour. Keep an eye out for the Watch out for snakes! tour around the country.

*****Met Gala: The soiree for the who’s who: Best dressed- Nicki Minaj, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Frances Bean Cobain, Lena Dunham, Mary J. Blige, Bella Hadid, Zoe Kravitz, Pryanka Chopra. Worst dressed- Solange Knowles, Helen Lasichanh, Pharrell Williams, Clare Danes

*****Scary Clown 45 tells us that Andrew Jackson could have avoided the civil war. He also told John Dickerson that he calls his program, ‘Deface the Nation’.  Stephen Colbert was so incensed by the disrespect  shown to the journalist that he had a few choice words like; disgrace the nation. He said that Trumps mouth was best used as Putin’s cock holder. He was bleeped but the FCC still looked into complaints, no action was taken.

*****Drake beat Adele’s record at the Billboard music awards. Best dressed were Rachel Platten, Machine Gun Kelly and Madison Beer. Worst dressed were Alex Pall, Andrew Taggart, Halsey and Billy Ray Cyrus.

*****Pence was invited to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement and dozens of graduates and family members silently stood and walked out.

*****Bobby Moynihan, Sasheer Zamata and Vanessa Bayer are out at SNL.

*****Netflix is bringing us Ozark with Jason Bateman (also executive producer and director), Laura Linney and Esai Morales. Look for it in July.

*****So sad to see icons on Fox news. When you see an occasional clip of someone like Joe Nameth, you wonder why??

*****Michael Moore is doing a one man show on Broadway. ‘The terms of my surrender’ will premiere on July 28. He is working on a feature right now about Trump called Fahrenheit 11/9 that will be distributed by the Weinstein’s.  In the fall he will be in TNT prime time with Live from the apocalypse. The climate is giving him a time to shine. Go Michael!!

*****Norman Lear has received the Woody Guthrie prize.

*****Michael  McDonald is working on a new LP, Wide Open.

*****Hillary Clinton has put together Onward Together! The political group asks people to get involved and organize!

*****A report claims that your nipple color is your perfect lipstick shade.

*****A cameo from Paul McCartney is slated for the new Pirates of the Caribbean. He will play a jail guard.

*****The x Mrs. Johnny Depp, Amber Heard has moved onto Tesla founder Elon Musk.

*****An x German rapper, Denis Cuspert , who became an Isis recruiter briefly married FBI operative, Daniela Greene.

*****American Housewife has been renewed for another season.

*****Jesse Jackson has been giving motivational speeches in some high schools. On May 12 he appeared at Peoria High.

*****Larry Wilmore is back with a podcast: Black on the air!

*****James Corden takes his show to the U.K. with Harry Styles and many more.

*****Brick and mortar stores are taking a big hit this year. 85% of all sales still come from these stores but they grew too fast for their own good. Mall building surpassed the population and we will have to say good bye to many of them.

*****James Comey tried to defend himself with the FBI oversight committee. He informed us that he asked for search warrants for wiener’s computer and had not yet got them when he released a memo to congress about looking back into Hillary’s e mails case which was called mid year exam. He claims he could not tell us about the Russian investigation because it was not and still is not finished.  I have to wonder that if Hillary’s e mails were so fascinating to them, are they looking into the casual way that trump conducts business ?  They are probably looking into starting the while Clinton Email thing instead. I have to shake my head at the slow progress of so many of these old senators on both sides of the aisle. It makes the whole thing repetitive and unproductive.  The biggest sound bite was Comey’s statement that it made him mildly nauseous to think he would affect the election. Oh, please!!** Things did get going a bit finally and In the middle of some rather hard driving questions, Trump suddenly appeared on my TV with the President of Palestine. The media bought right into it and it was everywhere. I had to find C-span 3 to continue the hearings and skip the photo op.

*****And then Comey  is fired on May 9 starting a whole new shit storm that distracts from Sally Yates damaging testimony. There have been multiple excuses for that. I think most dems can agree he completely mishandled the Hillary stuff but the timing is just so Trump! He does not even care how it looks, he bulldozes on. There is a giant fucking cloud over the whole thing. There is a letter from deputy attorney general , Rosenstein and Jeff Sessions recommended the firing but Trump says he was gonna fire him all along. Word is that Comey is mad, Rosenstein is livid and also the Presidents communication team. Acting FBI head McCabe assures us that the files were immediately secured. The Prez says Comey informed him that he wasn’t under investigation.  The Fox spin seemed to blame the fact that Comey  would not take the Obama wiretap allegations seriously. Trump also signed an executive order to look into his claims of voter fraud. It is like the biggest conspiracy theory nut got to be president and now we could spend millions of dollars on his crazy whims. OMG! **I feel that I may puke if I have to again see that clip of Comey and Trump shaking hands. Word is that Comey hated that day. ** And now the Justice department has appointed former FBI head Robert Mueller to lead a special counsel on the Russian probe.** Trump claims that ”No politician had it worse” at a Coast Guard commencement.** He probably should not have thrown Rosenstein under the bus because his appointment of Mueller gives him a lot of room to investigate.

*****Constitutional law prof. Laurence Tribe of Harvard writes that trump should be impeached because a President can’t ask for loyalty from the FBI director. He states other reasons like Trump can’t be trusted to stay within the law. Could Comey, the man who helped get him elected be the one to bring him down?

*****The treasury department is looking into money laundering issues with Trump.

*****Scary Clown takes his first trip out of the country as Pres. While there Toby Keith will be playing a ‘men only’ show in Saudi Arabia.

*****Mrs. Callista Gingrich is the ambassador to the Vatican.

*****Princess Mako of Japan will marry Kei Komuro and give up royal status.

*****Once the Stones do it, others always follow suit. Pink Floyd now has an exhibit of their history at the Victoria Albert museum.

*****Scary Clown has threatened to shut down all press briefings.

*****Studies from the CDC show that teens are drinking less.

*****Wow!! Was blown away by Joanne Froggatt in Dark Angel on PBS Masterpiece.

*****JS.. Saw Levon Helm’s Electric Dirt on Axl’s wall on The Middle finale.

*****Brazil’s President is also in some trouble with bribe allegations.

*****A tide brought back a beach on the west coast of Ireland that washed away 33 years ago!!

*****Jared Kushner’s sister, Nicole Meyer told Chinese investors that she could help foreign nationalists get visas through her family’s real estate business.

*****Trump took the Russians gleefully into the oval office and only let in the Russian press, No Americans allowed!! The White house claims they were misled about the Russian photographers. Russia is spreading the news that they have a better relationship with our President that we do. The Washington Post had a story that Trump released classified info to them.  Once a President says it , it is declassified.

*****David Brooks wrote a NY Times piece after the “leak” calling out Scary Clown. He calls Trump an infantalist for immaturity is becoming the dominant role of his Presidency.  He writes, ‘His falsehoods are attempts to build a world in which he can feel good for an instant and comfortably deceive himself. He is an ‘incompetent person who is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.’ Well said!

***** I personally think that some people just like to live in chaos. Those people have taken over for now. I suppose that Trump loyalists like being puppets. It seems they can’t really think for themselves because everything scary clown does seems just fine to them. As long as he is firing people and disrupting the status quo, they are good no matter the cost. No backbone.

*****The Kennedy Center will honor David Letterman with the Mark Twain prize for American humor.

*****Have we ever had a first lady whose parent was a communist?

*****Nightcap on Pop will be back on June 7.

*****Comedy Central brings comics like Jerry Seinfeld and Kevin Hart with Colossal Clusterfest.

*****The Great British Baking show will be on PBS on June 16.. Hey.. that is Tom’s birthday!!

*****The Battle of the Network Stars is coming in June.

*****People of Earth is back on TBS on July 24.

*****Marijuana business owners were in Washington this month to fight for their rights. They specifically brought attention to section 280-E of the tax code that does not allow deductions and The Respect the State Marijuana Laws act of 2017.

*****Rumors have always been out there that H H Holmes escaped execution.  His great grandchildren have petitioned for and been granted permission to exhume his body.

*****The house voted to end health care as we know it. It is opposed by the AMA, AARP, ACA and on and on. The groups are trying to ban together to hold town halls and explain just what they will get if Obamacare is taken away. But Scary Clown and all his other smug white buddies were laughing and joking about how wonderful it all is. Idaho congressman, Raul Labrador even said later that “Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care,” They all have a very strange sense of humor. To quote a song from another time, “Ain’t no time to wonder why, whew! We’re all gonna die!” It is like a nightmare. I guess their thinking is that if they get rid of all the poor people, they won’t have to look at us anymore? They do not understand the idea of paycheck to paycheck. To get money back on your taxes to help fund your own health care is impossible for many people. They feel they have to get this health care plan through so they can then do the tax plan. They need the health care money for the poor so that the top moneymakers can have their big tax cuts.** Why not just fix the problems with Obamacare like a not for profit public option to buy into?**Women are a majority in this country, how the fuck did we get here? ** I loved Bette Midler’s tweet on it the best: “GOP passed a health care bill so bad they exempted themselves from it. They may live longer, but when they die, it’s straight to hell.”

*****Richard Simmons is suing American Media Inc. and their Radar online and National Enquirer for a story about his transitioning into a woman.

*****Bob Newhart came to Chicago to headline the Salvation Army’s annual civic luncheon.

*****The IFC’s Brockmire is fun and raunchy and you can see Hank Azaria nude. He and Amanda Peete have great chemistry but the rest of the cast is awesome too. I am so loving Tyrel Jackson Williams, the tech nerd and Daisuke Tsuji , the Japanese Free mason pitcher. The Pennsylvania town of Morristown is so Monessan like.

*****A woman may face a year in prison for laughing about Jeff Sessions. Desiree Fairooz was convicted for disorderly conduct but some are calling this fake news.

*****Loretta Lynn had a stroke and has postponed her tour. She is now in rehab.

*****Oh Conan.. Please.. More of the “Gilligan” writer please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*****Days alert: More of the tech nerd Myron Radditz!! And let’s keep going with the love story of JENERIC!!** I saw the Days punk pimp on a new ad for Geico. He is going places?!** Could they make Nicole any more whiny or stupid!! C’mon!** It is time to kill off Jade.**Morgan Fairchild has joined the cast as Angelica Deveraux.

*****I always knew that Debra Winger was cool. I see that she has admiration for Better Call Saul and The Americans. Yes!!

*****Jeff Goldblum will be back for the next Jurassic Park!

*****Always Dreaming won the Kentucky Derby!

*****Gov. Greg Abott has signed a ban for sanctuary cities in Texas.

*****Norway has the wonderful slow TV on their public broadcasting. It started with a train trip. You can watch chopping wood or burning logs or sheering sheep and knitting. There was a cruise that lasted 5 and a half days. It is syndicated around the world.  YES!!

*****Hooray!! Paris did it! Macron wins!!

*****New Orleans is courting controversy with the removal of many civil war statues.

*****The U.S. has armed the Kurds in Syria. **The White House is also considering new troops in Afghanistan.

*****Trump quote: During the Clapper /Yates testimony: “Watch then start to choke like dogs. Watch what happens. They are desperate for breath.”

*****If you haven’t been reading Carl Reiner’s tweets about Donald Trump.. you must check it out. A recent example: “In his first hundred days in office, trump has succeeded in affirming to our citizens that our great nation will cheer his impeachment.”

*****The Stones are revving up for a new tour in Europe.

*****American Crime Story will tackle Katrina with Dennis Quaid playing George W. Bush.

*****Sam Rockwell will play a KKK leader alongside Taraji P. Henson as a civil rights activist in Best of Enemies.

*****After the court said that Trumps website still stated that ALL Muslims should be banned and Sean Spicer was asked about it in a briefing, it immediately disappeared.

*****Why is frat house hazing still allowed to go on?? These are grown ass people that act like 5 year olds but with booze and drugs.

*****In 2011 a nodosaur mummy was discovered in Alberta with the skin and stomach contents intact!! Paleontologist Vinther says the dinosaur, from 110 million years ago was so well preserved that it might have been walking around a couple of years ago. It is now on display at the new Alberta museum. How fucking exciting is that?

*****Jeff Sessions tell us that he would like the harshest sentences possible for drug offenses. These guys sure like their torture and punishment.

*****RIP Jean Stein, Steven Holcomb, Powers Boothe, Roger Ailes, Chris Cornell , Lisa Spoonaver, Roger Moore,  Gregg Allman and Susan Hurt.