#also told dad i'm gonna leave my job

[aloyssobek]

i think i'm going to try and get like a student services job or a library assistant job when i leave my current job. i know that i could totally go for casual teaching work. but....only if i Have to. and i think i may apply for a masters in library and info science. because i want to work with books. i want to work in research. i want to do something with social research. and i feel like librarianship is a good intersection of those three things. idk

[gxlden-angels]

Throughout all of this, I never thought about the potential for my family members to also deconstruct/leave fundamentalist christianity, even if they remained a more progressive christian in the end

[loudclan-clangen]

The World Ender by Lord Huron would be perfect for this moon

Anon you're so right and also I'm losing my mind over this song rn.

I had been imagining "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Johnny Cash for this moment but this song has all the vibes I loved from that one plus lyrics that are literally perfect for Wildfirecry, this is such a good pick!

Okay, SO: 7 farm cats attacked Fiercestripe's patrol. 4 of them were killed (Coal, his two sons, and one of Bee's sons), and 3 of them survived, but were wounded (Spider, Bee's other son, and Butterfly's son). These 3are the cats that Wildfirecry tracked down and killed in Moon 29 Part 3. He didn't kill anyone but those 3 toms!

No artistic liberty here! Wildfirecry committed at least three real life war crimes!

Absolutely! There's not a whole lot more to them than what is shown. I haven't put a ton of thought into Forestclan because they're already gone, but I imagine that they were a lot more religiously focused than Loudclan is. Their Starclan literally lived in the stars, and thus they were almost everpresent during the winter, and absent in the summer, when they were believed to hide underground. For this reason, if a cat died in the summer their body must be buried in order to join Starclan, and if a cat's body could not be buried, then they would be lost to wander until the sky darkened again. On the other hand, if a cat died in the winter, they would be left out to decompose in the open air, so that their spirit could ascend up to join Starclan in the sky, and burying them would leave them lost until Starclan returned underground. The rites that Wildfirecry performed doesn't allow for either of these fates. It traps a cat's soul somewhere in the middle, suspended in the air too low to escape into the sky and to high to shelter underground. I don't know if I've talked about it before, but I don't think the valley territories have a dark forest or equivalent "cat hell", so this is truly the worst punishment that Wildfirecry can bestow upon them.

It's Fiercestripe we're talking about here, she didn't waste time with some lovey-dovey good bye. She wants vengeance just as much as Wildfirecry does, if not more, and she only has a moment to speak to him. They'll have time for softness later, for now Wildfirecry has a job to do and she's here to help him do it.

I imagine that Rosehiptree would have been the one person Wildfirecry told that he was leaving. Quietly, before he excused himself, he told her that if he hadn't returned within a moon that she needed to go to the Black Water Pool and get her lives. While Wildfirecry didn't intend to lose all of his lives, he didn't want to promise to come back when he couldn't assure it, and honestly dying and passing his lives on to his only remaining daughter to make sure she outlives her illness is not necessarily a total loss in his book. Rosehiptree did that math, and considering everything she knew about her dad, decided that he was definitely not coming home. She relied a lot on Songpaw after their conversation, and even now that Wildfirecry's back and she's doing a little bit better, she still treats him as her anchor. She knows that Wildfirecry HAD to go do what he did to be able to live with himself, she's even thankful that he did it so that she doesn't have to fear Spider coming back, but he still left her when she needed him, and Songpaw didn't.

Thank you! That's a great compliment! I think it's pretty likely that you've spotted at least one of the ships being foreshadowed in Moon 30, but the real question is did you catch them all???

[lee-laurent]

Done Trying - Luke Hughes

Summary: In which Luke falls for a girl who always seems to be hanging around the Devils, the issue she has a toddler with one of his teammates

There will be more parts!! Next part is the backstory of John and Tori! Part after that is a continuation of this part! Hope you guys enjoy!

content: unplanned pregnancy, fluff, angst, children (is that a warning??), past relationships, self confidence and body image issues, money struggles, oc x ex!john marino (this is throughout the story, but this is a luke fic!! she ends up with luke!!)

WC: 4.8k

notes: this idea came to me the other night while i was watching tiktoks lol, but i thought it would a fun fic to write. the poll i put out showed a pretty clear leader the whole time, but if you guys are interested in me doing any of the other pairings in the poll just let me know!! before writing this i have a feeling it's gonna be a long fic so enjoy!!

Luke Hughes was walking down the street to the cafe that Jack had recommended. He still didn't know many places in Newark, seeing as it was his rookie season, but his brother had been a huge help... for the most part. Jack had told him about his coffee shop that was usually pretty quiet, so he wouldn't have to worry about fans coming up to him. And it had become his safe haven over the last two weeks.

Victoria Wilson was also walking down the street in the direction of the cafe, but she wasn't alone. Her newly turned two-year-old was toddling besides her, having refused to get in his stroller when they were leaving their apartment. "No" was his favourite word at the moment and Tori thought it might drive her crazy. She was dropping him off at his dad's in a couple hours, so she decided that grabbing him a bagel and some juice for breakfast sounded like a great way to get out of the house.

"Riley! Stop!" she screeched, watching as her son started to run down the sidewalk in the direction of a tall boy, looking at his phone. She didn't reach him in time though, the little boy wrapping his arms around the man's legs.

"What the hell?" Luke muttered, staring down at the toddler gripping his leg.

"I am so sorry! He's really big into hugging right now. We're working on learning who we shouldn't hug," Tori rambled, attempting to pull Riley off the man.

"It's fine. Really. No worries. Come on, little dude. Go back with your sister," Luke smiled, making the girl blush.

"I- I'm his mom, but I'll take that as a compliment," she smiled, finally prying Riley away and picking him up. He squirmed her arms, screaming "no" like it was mantra.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed," Luke rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's all good. Let me buy you a coffee. Again, I'm so sorry. Terrible twos," she sighed, reaching into her purse for a pacifier. "Here bubba. Let's go get breakfast."

Riley finally calmed down, happily putting the pacifier in his mouth. Tori had been trying her best to ween him off his "binky" but his dad wasn't, so it wasn't really working all that well.

"You don't have to do that. He's just a kid."

"Please, I'd really like to," she smiled. Luke nodded, opening the door for the woman and her son.

Tori ordered a coffee for herself and Luke, as well as a bagel and apple juice for Riley. They sat at a small table, Riley on her lap and Luke across from her.

"I'm Tori, by the way. And this little devil is Riley."

"It's nice to meet you," Luke grinned, "I'm Luke."

"So, how long have you lived in Jersey?" she smiled, breaking off a bit of bagel for Riley. He had a habit of trying to shove things in his mouth and gagging every time. So Tori always broke his food up into little pieces.

"A month now. I, um, just moved here for my new job."

"That's exciting," she grinned, handing Riley more food.

"What about you?"

"We moved here two years ago. Riley's dad moves a lot for work and I like to be in the same city as him so they can spend time together."

Luke nodded. So she was single. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't admiring her. She was stunning. Pale skin covered in freckles, ginger hair that she'd curled into waves, and the prettiest blue eyes he'd ever seen. She giggled as Riley dropped bagel all over his shirt, attempting to wipe it away as best as a toddler could.

"You said Riley's two?"

"Yes! He just turned two in August!"

"My mom always said that's the hardest age," Luke tried his best to relate to the girl in front of him.

"Ha! She's right. He really likes saying 'no' right now. It's impossible to get him to do anything except play mini sticks."

Luke choked on his coffee, "As in hockey?"

"Oh, yeah. He, uh, we're big hockey fans in my house."

"Devils?"

"No. No offence if you're a Devils fan. But we're proud Penguins fans. Right, Riley?"

"Pen-guin," he giggled, clapping his cream cheese covered hands together.

"That's cool," he nodded, checking his phone. Jack had texted asking if he'd died on the way to get coffee. "I, um, it was really nice meeting you, but my brother's getting worried about me. I should go."

"No worries! It was lovely meeting you too. Say 'bye-bye', Riley."

"Bye-bye!"

"Bye, Riley. Um, I was wondering if I could get your number. We could do this again some time? It's totally fine if not. I just-"

"Of course, Luke. Here," she chuckled, taking his phone from him. Luke walked out of the coffee shop with a smile.

It was the first Family Skate of the season and Luke was happily yapping away with Jack and Nico, seeing as they were all single. Luke had been texting nonstop with Tori for the last two weeks, she was really busy taking care of Riley so they hadn't met up again yet. He had found out she was 24, from Pittsburgh, and had a degree in journalism. He hadn't told her what he did for a living, just saying athletics which she assumed meant personal training. He was laughing at a joke that his brother had made when a flash of red hair caught his eye.

He did a double take. Standing at the bench was Tori, holding an extremely excited looking Riley on her hip, tiny skates on his feet. They were both dressed in Devils jerseys. Tori pointed at someone on the ice and Riley clapped happily. John Marino skated over, grabbing Tori's hand to guide her onto the ice. Maybe she wasn't single like he assumed.

"What're you looking at, Rusty?" Jack knocked his shoulder.

"Huh? Nothing."

"Come on, let's go see Curtis."

Luke followed his brother, keeping an eye on John and the girl now holding his hand. It hurt a little, he really thought they were connecting. And she hadn't mentioned a boyfriend at all.

Tori had yet to notice Luke, smiling widely watching her son and his father interact. Even if she and John had broken up, they still held a mutual respect for each other, maybe even still loved one another.

"Do you like his jersey?" she asked, showing John the '6 Marino' on the back of their son's shirt.

"Wow! You look just like Daddy, bubba!"

"'Ike Dada!" Riley smiled.

"My mom got it for him for his birthday. He was really excited to show you."

"Well, I think it's awesome. Tell your mom 'thank you.'"

"Of course. I-" she stopped. Her eyes locked with a familiar pair across the ice. Luke? She furrowed her brow, handing the toddler over to his dad. "Here. Practice skating with him. I, uh, need to talk to someone."

"Oh, sure! Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just fine," she mustered a smile as he pressed a kiss to her temple, skating off with Riley.

"Luke?" she approached him, a confused look on her face. Jack and Nico looked at each other before skating off to see John and Riley.

"Hi, Tori. I, uh, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah. Me neither. You play for the Devils?"

"Um... yeah? It's my rookie season. I just- I didn't want you to like only want to talk to me cause I play in the NHL."

"I gave you those vibes?" she sassed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, no. That's not- You don't. I, uh, what're you doing here? I thought you were... single."

"I am. I would've stopped talking to you if I wasn't. Riley's dad also plays for the Devils."

Then it all fell into place for Luke. Moving from Pittsburgh, being Penguins fans, Riley's dad moving around for work, her being here.

"Johnny?"

"Yes. John invited us. I thought it would be fun for Riley."

"I'm sorry. I- I should've told you. Are- is this too weird now?"

"'This?' There isn't really a 'this' yet, Luke. We just met and I have a kid. But if you're asking if I'm going to stop talking to you. Then no. This isn't weird for me."

"Do you- d'you think John will be upset?"

"John? No. He just wants whatever is best for Riley. We broke up over a year ago."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to pry. I-"

"Luke, it's fine. It was nice seeing you, but I should get back to my family."

"Right. See ya, Tori," Luke smiled, ignoring the pain in his chest at her words. John was her family. How was he supposed to beat that?

"You know Luke?" John asked as his ex-girlfriend skated up next to him.

"You remember that guy I met that Riley hugged?"

"The one from the coffee shop? Yeah, you said- oh my god! Was it Luke?"

"Yep," she popped the 'p' at the end of the word, "He didn't tell me he played hockey."

"Are you gonna cut things off?"

"There isn't really a 'thing' to cut off. We just text."

"Right. Well, don't let it stress you out."

"I won't. Don't worry. Anyway, how's Riley doing at skating?"

"Like a newborn deer. But he loves it, so..."

"Are you gonna be just like Dada?" she cooed, kissing her son's chubby cheek.

"'Ike Dada!"

"Yes! Just like Dada!"

Riley joined John in the locker room after, seeing as he was spending the night at his instead of going home with his mom. He sat in John's stall, kicking his feet back and forth. John had changed him into some tennis shoes instead of his skates.

"Hey, Riley!" Nico smiled, raising his hand over a high five.

"Cap!"

"Yes sir! That's gonna be you some day, huh?"

"Cap!"

Nico ruffled the boy's dark curls, walking back over to his stall. Jack also came over to see the little boy, but turned his attention to John after.

"Did ya know that Tori and Luke know each other?" he frowned.

"Huh? No, Tori told me today. Why?"

"Luke had been talking about this girl he met a couple weeks ago, had no idea it was Tori. I would've told him to back off."

"Back off? Tori and I aren't getting back together. That ship has long sailed."

"Really? I thought you still... loved her?"

"Of course I do. She's the mother of my child and for that I'll always love her. But she's made it very clear that we didn't work as more than friends. If she wants to see other people, I'm not going to stop her."

"Even if it's your own teammate?"

"Luke is the only guy on this team I'd let date my ex. Trust me."

"Damn. Maybe I was gonna shoot my shot."

"She'd reject you before you could even say hi," John smirked.

"Hungy! Hungy!" Riley chanted, pulling at John's sleeve.

"Okay, bud. One second, Jack," John reached into his backpack, pulling out a pouch and opening it for Riley. "There you go, bud. Eat slowly."

"O-tay."

"Anyway, Tori wouldn't be interested in you. She only likes guys with curly hair."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. We were together for four years. I know what her type is," he rolled his eyes. "Are we done here? I'd like to take my baby home."

Jack nodded, sulking back over to his stall.

"So... how're things with that Luke boy going?" Tori's best friend, Allison, asked. The two girls were sat on the sofa, an almost empty bottle of red wine in front of them, some horrible reality tv show on in the background.

"About that..."

"Oh no! Did he end up being a dick?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. He, um, he's teammates with John."

"He's what?! You're kidding me!"

"Nope. Saw him at family skate today."

"I thought you said he was an athletic trainer."

"He told me he did athletics. I just assumed he did like training for something. But nope, he's a rookie for the Devils."

"That's insane! Are you cutting him off? I thought you'd sworn off hockey players."

"I-"

"Victoria Jane Wilson! Do NOT tell me you're thinking about getting with this guy!"

"I... I'm not sure. He's really cute, Ally. Like the cutest guy I've seen in a while."

"Cuter than John?"

"Not sure anyone is cuter than John. My son is his carbon copy and he's the cutest ever."

"Speaking of Riley, do you think this Luke kid is ready to deal with a child in addition to you? He's how old? 20?"

"I know... I love Riley, but he's definitely made my dating pool smaller."

"Well, you'll have no way of knowing until you ask him on a date."

"You were just saying no more hockey boys! Make up your mind, Ally!"

"I know... but you haven't been on a date in like what..."

"Seven months."

"Seven months?! Text him right now!"

"Right now?"

"Right now!"

Maybe it was the copious amounts of wine that she'd consumed or the fact that she hadn't been on a date in seven months, but she reached for her phone and typed out a message.

I was wondering if you'd like to go on a proper date some time? Without any children with us

"Done!"

"Yay!!! This calls for more wine!"

The girls clinked their glasses together, giggling as they drank more.

Hey, Tori. I'd love that! Is Riley with John tomorrow? I'm free after 5.

"Oh my God! He said yes!!!"

"I knew he would, girl! You're stunning."

"I-"

"Don't give me that shit about your 'Mummy Tummy.' You carried a baby for 9 months of course you aren't going to look exactly the same as you did before. But trust me, you look fucking stunning. Now text him back!"

Ally was over for the second night in a row, except this time it wasn't girls' night. She was helping Tori get ready for her first date in almost a year.

"You have to wear something lowcut! Show off the goods," Ally smiled, pretending to squeeze some boobs in the air.

"They're not that impressive," Tori rolled her eyes, flicking through her shirts.

"Girl! Be confident! If I had tits like yours, I'd walk around in nothing but a bra!"

"Ally! Don't be crass!"

"What? Just telling the truth! We both know that Riley exists cause John loved your curves a little too much."

"Allison!" Tori gasped, although it was a tad bit dirty, she couldn't help but giggle. She pulled a white, flowy tank top out of her closet, holding it up to her body. "Thoughts?"

"That's the one! You'll look irresistible. Now! Let me do your makeup!" Ally clapped.

Tori did a once over in the mirror, smiling brightly. She wasn't usually very confident in her body, and that only got worse after having Riley. A ring filled the apartment as someone pressed her buzzer in the lobby. She pressed on the intercom button, "Come up!"

"I'll be here the whole time. Call if you need rescuing and I want all the details when you get back!" Ally smiled, plopping down on Tori's bed.

Luke rasied his fist, knocking on the wooden door. Tori wiped her hands on her jeans one last time, opening the door to reveal the boy. He was wearing a polo shirt that showed off his arms in the best way and a pair of khaki pants. It looked like he had attempted to tame his curls, but they just looked like they always did but wet.

"Wow, you... you look so pretty, Tori," he stuttered.

"Thank you. You also look really cute," she blushed. "Let me just grab my purse and then we can go. Come in."

Luke entered the apartment, taking in the decor. There was a small table in the corner covered in art supplies and a basket of toys next to it. On the sofa was a stuffed Winnie the Pooh and lots of plastic farm animals. Hanging on the wall was a colourful scribble with Riley's name printed at the bottom. It was clear to him that Riley was the most important thing in her life.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy. I usually clean when he's at John's, but I was... kinda nervous about tonight and forgot."

"You've got no reason to be nervous. I promise," Luke smiled.

God, his smile was cute. It was crooked, almost like a smirk and she wanted to see it every second of every day for the rest of her life.

"Shall we?"

"We shall."

The walk to the restaurant was full of jokes and laughs. Conversation between the two flowed so easily.

"You're joking! There's no way!"

"I'm not! He ripped Quinn's braces out!"

"That's insane!"

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No, no, I don't. Only child."

"How's that?"

"It was a bit lonely when I was a kid. But now I've got Riley so it's impossible to feel lonely."

They sat at a table, deciding to share a very large plate of seafood pasta.

"This is kind of a personal question, so you don't have to answer. But did you always want to be a mom?"

"That's not too personal, in my opinion. But yeah. When I found out I was pregnant though, I was really unsure. I was 22 and wanted to do so much more in my life first. But I can do most of those things even with Riley. And if I can't, John is there to watch him for me."

"That's a good way of looking at things. I, uh, I've never dated anyone with a kid."

Tori giggled, "I'm not surprised, Luke. But I'm not asking you to stay around if you don't want to."

They quickly moved on from talking about Riley, talking about their childhoods, favourite movies, and favourite foods.

"Secretariat? The horse movie?" she laughed.

"Don't laugh! It's a good movie!"

"I've never seen it."

"Well, I know what our next date is going to be," Luke's eyes widened as his brain caught up with his mouth, "If- If you want to go on another date. I, uh, I get if you don't want to. No pressure."

"Luke, I'd love to watch Secretariat with you," she smiled, reaching across the table to hold his hand. She ran her thumb over his knuckles, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I, uh, I'm free tomorrow. If that's not too soon."

"That should work. I just have to pick up Riley at 5, so it'll have to be in the afternoon."

"I'll make sure I'm up then."

"It's okay. I also sleep in on days Riley is with John."

Luke walked Tori up to her apartment, not wanting their night to end. They stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking at each other.

"I had a really good night," she smiled, looking down at her shoes.

"M- Me too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mhm."

"Can... Can I kiss you?"

"I don't normally kiss on the first date," she smirked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"I'll make an exception for you."

Tori pushed herself up on her tip-toes, leaning in until their noses brushed. She let Luke take the final step, softly pressing their lips together. His were a bit chapped, but she didn't mind. Maybe her lip balm would rub off and help him out. They smiled, breaking the kiss.

"See you tomorrow," she waved goodbye, closing the door as he walked down the hall to the elevator.

"How was it?!" Ally screeched. Tori jumped, holding her hand to her chest.

"Holy shit! I forgot you were here!"

"Okay? How was it?!"

"So good! He's coming over tomorrow. Oh Lord, I have to clean!"

"He's coming over?! You're getting laid?!"

"No, God. Ally, it's our second date. I'm not sleeping with him."

"Why not?! When was the last time you had sex?"

"Um..."

"When did you and John sleep together?"

"Two months ago."

"I still can't believe you did that."

"He looked really hot playing with Riley. And we both hadn't slept with anyone in months. It was just... a mutual release."

Ally shook her head, "Whatever. Two months. You need some dick. And not your ex's."

"Why not? John's-"

"I don't want to hear about John's dick, Victoria."

"Your favourite person ever wouldn't exist without it," she shrugged.

"Riley's the only good thing that came from John. Anywho..."

"We're not sleeping together tomorrow. We're watching his favourite movie."

"Aww! That's so sweet! Look at you!! Finally moving on from Johnny Boy."

"I've been moved on for a while. I'm not sure the same can be said for him."

"He'll figure it out when he sees how happy you are with Luke!"

Tori giggled, "Time to clean up."

"I'll help... if we open a bottle of wine."

"Deal."

Tori was so nervous that she'd refolded the blanket on the back of the sofa at least six times now. She didn't really have company over except Ally and John. She wanted her apartment to look the best it ever had. All of Riley's toys were back in his toy bin and his room, she'd even cleaned the kitchen counter in case Luke went in there for something.

The intercom buzzed and Luke's voice broke through, "It's Luke. Hughes. Luke Hughes. Except I don't think you're expecting another Luke. But, I'm here."

Tori laughed, pressing the button to let him up. Less than a minute later there was a knock at her door. She took a deep breath, swining it open and smiling widely. Luke was in a Devils hoodie and some track pants. Luckily, she was dressed similarly.

"Welcome! I set up the living room for us."

"Perfect," Luke entered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Tori sat on the sofa, Luke boldly sitting right next to her. Their thighs were touching and he had his arm stretched over the back of the leather sofa.

She couldn't help but admire his thighs. That was one thing she loved about hockey boys. Their thighs. It was probably her favourite feature when looking for a guy.

She clicked on Disney+, the app immediately playing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

"Shit, sorry. Guess that's the last thing we were watching on here."

Luke just laughed, scooting closer to her (if that was possible). She relaxed, cuddling into his side. The movie started and Luke smiled down at her, pressing a kiss to her nose. She blushed, leaning up and connecting their lips in an actual kiss.

"No more kissing. You're going to distract me from the movie," Tori sassed, playfully pushing his face as he went in for another one.

"Fine," he pouted, turning his attention to the movie.

By the time the movie had ended, Tori was practically wrapped around Luke. A loud yawn escaped her.

"Was it that boring? That's my favourite movie we're talking about, Victoria," he feigned anger.

"It was sad. But I liked it. I need a nap though."

"Oh, I can go."

"No, come on. Your comfy," she grabbed his hand, leading him to her bedroom. Luke lay down next to her, allowing her to cuddle into his side, an arm thrown over his chest. She fell asleep almost immediately. He wasn't surprised though. He understood that Riley had been having a sleep regression and it was exhausting for John and Tori. He turned to look at the picture on her bedside table. It was her, Riley, and John at a beach. It looked recent, like it had just been taken over the off season. Tori was holding on of Riley's hands and John was holding the other. They looked like a happy, functional family. And it made Luke's brain run a mile a minute. How come her relationship with John hadn't worked out? Maybe she didn't commitment. Maybe she didn't want something serious. Maybe- A snore cut off his thoughts and he looked down at the sleeping figure in his arms. Why was he worried? She seemed happy. He just needed to not overthink it. Easier said than done.

Luke woke her up at 4:30, shaking her shoulder slightly. She slowly sat up, patting down her messy hair.

"What's up?" she mumbled.

"It's 4:30. I should probably go before John and Riley get here. I don't want to confuse anyone."

"Oh... okay. I, uh, sorry I fell asleep. I haven't had a full night of sleep in what feels like ages."

"You're fine, Tori. You coming to the game on Tuesday?"

"Yeah. I try to bring Riley to most home games. We just never stay long. He gets restless."

"See you then," he kissed her one last time.

"Mama!" Riley ran into Tori's arms.

"Hi, baby! Did you have fun at Dada's?"

"Yes! We 'ockey!"

"You played hockey! That's so fun! Let's get you some dinner!"

"Hungy!"

Tori smiled, standing up to talk to John.

"How was he?"

"You weren't kidding about the sleep. Couldn't get him down until 11 last night. And he was up at 3 and 5."

"Yeah, it's Hell. Did he stay in his cot?"

"Last night he slept in my bed. Night before he slept in his cot until 4."

"Did you use a pacifier?"

"I'm working on not. I know you said you want him to give it up. He used it last night because I could not calm him."

"That's fine. We're coming to the game Tuesday. Can't promise we'll stay after the first period though."

"All good. You wanna stay for dinner?"

"Nah, I'm going to Jack's. See you at the game."

"See you at the game."

John pressed a kiss to her hair, "Come say goodbye to Dada, Riley!"

"Buh-bye, Dada! 'Uv 'oo!"

"I love you too!"

Once the door was closed and locked for the night, Tori put Riley in his booster seat.

"How about mac and cheese?"

"Eese!"

"Let's do it! We're going to go see Dada play hockey in two days! Are you excited?"

"I 'uv 'ockey!"

"I know you do, baby! Mac and cheese time!"

Tori was exhausted Tuesday night as she entered the arena. Riley hadn't slept the last time night for more than 4 hours and was throwing tantrums all day because he was tired. He cried and cried for his dad. Tori eventually had to call John and have him come calm down Riley while she showered. She was on the brink of crying all day Tuesday and the stress of being at the game wasn't helping. But she'd promised John that Riley would be there at least for a little bit. She was chasing him around the family suite, trying to tire the little boy out. He'd started playing with some of the other kids and she finally had a moment to herself.

"Girl, you need a vacation," Reanne sighed, rubbing her friend's back.

"You're telling me. He's been so poorly behaved recently. I just... I'm considering have John move in until he gets over his sleep regression."

"Really?" Nicole gasped, "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure what my other options are. Call my mom to come. But she hates flying. I'd ask John's parents, but they don't love me since the break up."

"Luke?"

"We've been on two dates! And he's a rookie. He needs his sleep."

"A nanny?"

"I have no money, girl. Child support is a saving grace at the moment."

"I'm sure John would-"

"I'm not asking my ex for money."

"Are you still working for that online newspaper?"

"Yeah, but the pay isn't the best ever. It works for us, but I can't afford a nanny."

"Well, if you need moral support when you talk to John about it, we're all here," one of the other wives smiled kindly.

After the game, John came over for a bit. Tori had texted him and asked for him to come so they could talk. So, now they were tensely sitting at the kitchen table.

"What's up, Tori?"

"I- I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"I, um, I need you to move back in for a bit. This... this isn't me asking to get back together. Please don't take it that way. I- I'm seeing Luke now. But Riley has been a lot to handle on my own right now. And I really need help."

"I- I could pay for a nanny. Or-"

"John. I'm asking you as his father not as my ex-boyfriend."

"Right. Um, yeah. I can do that. For how long?"

"Until he's over this sleep regression. We need to tag team it right now. It's too much for one person."

"Let me go to my place and grab some stuff. I'll be back in an hour. Can you set up the sofa for me?"

"Why? You can sleep in my room. It's closer to Riley's."

"Because we're not together?"

"John, I'm not uncomfortable if you aren't. Your the father of my child. It's not weird for me."

"Then it's fine with me. See you in an hour."

God, she hoped this didn't backfire.

[threezzyo]

໒‧₊˚ your little secret ∘︴fushiguro t.

∾you were always a good girl, as a governor's daughter, but little did anyone know... it's only natural to have a crush on your bodyguard. 6'1", the biggest muscles you've ever seen, scars begging to be licked. months of seducing him leads to something you wanted, something secret between the two of you. daddy doesn't have to know that his daughter is hooking up with her bodyguard behind the scenes.

∾older!bodyguard! toji fushiguro x fem!brat!reader. modern au. word count- 3.4k ∾NSFW! MDNI! age gap, (17 years) reader is a senior in high school (19, early birthday). dark-ish content! brat taming. no use of y/n. toji is a bit harsh... kinda 'used' as a toy. (mentions of using as a sleeve) usage of brat, slut, minx, good girl (for reader) and daddy, oldie, mister (for toji). promiscuous reader. finger sucking. car sex. smoking. oral (m recieving) riding! pussyjob kind of. slight exhibitionism (in a parking lot where literally anyone can see them......) biting. lots of teasing lorddd. just filthy, depraved, NASTYY smut.

∾indi's notes: i am sorry for being so iffy with posting and i will also stick to a theme now lol 😜 divider creds to @/cafekitsune

you were nineteen and hopelessly in love with your 36 year old bodyguard.

you had a student council meeting today, and was the last one to leave. toji fushiguro, your bodyguard (more like chauffeur) was waiting against the brick wall of your fancy pants school, cigarette in hand. he seemed to be texting someone, his mood irate.

“oh, y’er finally here.” he says in that rough voice you absolutely love. "took you long enough, brat.”

he pretends not to notice your skirt hitched up with your ass practically hanging out, or the two unbuttoned buttons on your thin white blouse that doesn’t do much to hide the lacy black bra you decided to wear.

it became a routine, before he picked you up, you’d unbutton your blouse a tiny bit and hike up your pleated skirt in the girls bathroom. maybe slather on some lip tint.

“i’m not a brat. and i told you i’d come out late.” you retort, skipping down the parking lot.

“unlock the car, oldie!” you yell, already reaching the expensive car he drives you around in. it’s yours, the porsche 911 carrera cabriolet, but why not let the handsome man drive it for you?

“tch.” he mumbles to himself, unlocking the car. "what a minx."

you were already nice and comfortable in the passenger seat when he got there, curled up on the fancy leather, your skirt riding up to your mid thighs. you were scrolling through whatever social media was popular, your headphones plugged into your ears.

what a typical high school girl.

he knows it’s wrong. he’s nearly twice your age, and you just turned nineteen, just a baby. and just because you’re the governors daughter doesn’t mean you were all prissy and proper, or sweet and innocent, you were quite the opposite.

even if your father paid a pretty penny to keep you out of trouble, a little extra cash from you was enough to keep him quiet. a man does what he has to do.

and unfortunately, your hedonistic lifestyle was gonna get your sweet father in trouble- and even worse, toji’s job at risk if he didn’t keep you under control.

“brat.” he leans over and snatches your headphones from the wire.

“toji!” you exclaim, irritated. “give them back, oldie!”

he rolls his eyes, throwing them in the backseat. “get them later. now shut y’er trap and listen to me.”

you grumble, falling back onto the seat. "i'm listening."

he takes a breath. "you know the election coming up, right?"

you furrow your brows. toji doesn't seem to be the political type. "yeah. papa's running for re-election."

his voice is low. "you need to keep a low profile. your father can't have anything tarnishing his reputation. especially his brazen brat. so, imma need you to follow my rules." his hand grips the steering wheel as he parks in an empty business lot.

"hey! i am not a brat!" you ripostes.

"oi. if your dad goes down, so do you, princess. i'd listen to me if i were you." he says, leaning in closer.

you scoff, crossing your arms. "fine. what?"

by crossing your arms, you slightly push up your lace clad bosom, easily seen through the sheer material of your white blouse.

his eyes flicker down.

like you didn't notice.

he rolls his eyes, looking back into the empty concrete lot. "y'er not going to go out for any party. y'er definitely not talking to any stranger. or any boys, for that matter. and you gonna have to start wearing something more..."

you grin. "more what?"

"more prudish." he grits, his eyes blazen. "can't have you prancin' around like that."

despite his tone, there's a hint of arousal in his voice, and he can feel the blood rushing right where he didn't want it to be. he clears his throat and tries again, "just follow those rules while i'm around, okay? it will make things easier for y'er daddy."

you roll your eyes, pulling your skirt down a bit and buttoning your blouse again. “just send me to a damn convent, then.”

toji grits his teeth at the girl's defiance. why does she have to be such a brat? and why did his dick twitch at the sight of her fixing her clothes? "don't be so stupid, girl. i'm just looking out for your safety, and if you don't cooperate, there will be consequences."

“consequences? like what?” you ask, your eyes wide and curious.

"like... being punished," he murmurs, barely audible. "if you disobey me or disrespect me in any way, i won't hesitate to discipline you."

you didn't realize how close toji had gotten to you, feeling his minty tobacco breath hit the side of your face.

there was an opening. and you took it.

"i wouldn't mind being punished.” you say with a sultry smile, giggling.

fuck.

she's right there, forbidden fruit, so very tempting.

he really shouldn’t, but he did.

"you wouldn't?" he whispers, his voice hoarse with desire. "well, you better be prepared for anything then." he grins.

he swiftly unbuckled your seatbelt. "get in the backseat. you wanna act like a slut, i'll treat you like one."

you're pushed into the back of your car, toji following you. without warning, he pulls you into his lap, so that you're straddling him. "toji!" you squeal, eyes wide open as you drink in the lecherous look in his eyes.

"toji-" you're abruptly cut off by his palm.

"didn't tell you to talk, now, did i?" his shit-eating grin was so infuriating, but also so enchanting. "you gotta listen to me, sweet girl. i don't want a single word out that damn mouth."

you narrow your eyes, but comply anyways.

"good girl." he smirks, sticking two fingers in your mouth. "suck."

you looked absolutely bewildered. “to-“

“suck.”

he sticks his two fingers in your mouth, going down your throat and causing you to gag.

that look in his eyes, it was so lewd. it just made you more turned on.

your tongue swirls around his digits. you look like you’re pouting by how your bottom lip sticks out, lips latched on his fingers.

he could hear your sinfully wet sounds as you suck on his fingers, soft whines escaping your lips.

he slides his fingers out of your mouth, a little wet pop! sound.

“do the same with my cock.” he demands, pushing you to the floor of the car.

you’re on your knees, silently thanking the gods for this opportunity. a true blessing in disguise.

“gladly, toji.” you grin, your head resting on his knee. your fingers ghost over the tent in his grey sweatpants, eyes never leaving his.

he looks like a mess, his pants practically bursting at the seams.

“i don’t have all day, sweetheart.” he warns, pulling at your hair. “no time for y’er dilly dallying.”

you sigh, wanting to tease him more. he spreads his legs a bit further, and you pull down his sweatpants, before palming the bulge in his boxers.

“damn, daddy.” you giggle, tracing the wet spot. “all of this for me?”

“jesus, girl, you can’t even follow orders?” he groans, grabbing at your wrists and forcefully makes you pull down his boxers. his dick sprung up, nearly hitting your nose. angry, veiny, girthy. the others you've hooked up with pales in comparison to the older man.

you've never been nervous. it was big, too big. "toji, that.. that's not gonna fit." you mumble meekly, staring at it.

"fuck, girl, i know you've taken dick before. don't tell me you're tappin' out so early." he leers. "use your hands if it's too much." he gets comfortable in the leather seat, yanking you closer to the tower he calls his dick.

"daddy. you're so mean." you whine, your breath hitting his tip. "its so hot." he isn't having your shit. he just grips your hair tighter, forcing your mouth open with his other hand. he only pushes your head down so that your lips clamp on his tip.

"urgh- to-" the wind is nearly knocked out of you as he shoves his fat dick further down your throat. it's so messy, tears prick your eyes and your saliva mixed with his pre-cum trickles down his cock, dripping down his balls. now was the absolute worse time to have a gag reflex, stomach heaving as you struggle to open your jaw to fit all of him.

"ahf, to-.." your moans are muffled by his cock, whimpers and whines reaching his ears as you find the energy to bob your head up and down.

"fuuck. good girl." his grip on your hair loosens, allowing you to catch your breath as your mouth unlatches from his dick.

"shit, oldie, what the fuck?!" you whine, coughing into your school blazer.

"just giving ya a break." he's kinda nice at times, wiping away your smeared mascara. "but i'm not nice all the time. you're sucking me off, girl."

you shoot him a glare. "just.. don't shove it directly down my throat."

he chuckles, caressing your cheek. "hurry on, sweet girl."

you whimper, but you abide grudgingly. your sloppy mouth takes him so well, he lets out a low groan of satisfaction at the way your teary eyes make eye contact with him.

"fuck, yes, sweetheart." his calloused hands guide your head up and down as the slick collects and drips down his base. "such a good fucking girl, yes, mmh.." he's merely using you as a cocksleeve now, your tongue swirling around his tip. your nails make half moon indents on his muscular thighs, your staggered breaths hitting his trimmed pubes. your obscene sounds play like music to the older man, your teary, coy eyes glassy as he fucks your throat.

you lick the vein on underside of his cock, bobbing your head up and down, giving yourself a break by also licking the skin on his balls.

using your nimble fingers, you toy with the base of his cock.

“ah, to-ji, please…!” you croak, as his hips piston once more into your awaiting mouth, cum brimming in the back of your throat. you have no choice but to swallow.

the way your teary countenance and cum-dripping lips look to him is delectable. he laughs, throwing his head back as he comfortingly pulls your hair back.

“good girl.” he grins as he sees you wipe the cum off your lips. “you’re getting better by the second.” his expression was so pestiferous- he enjoyed seeing you cough, he enjoyed how you cleared your throat since it was so hoarse. he liked seeing you fix your messy lip gloss, liked seeing you sniffle as you rest your temple on his knee, looking up at him like a darling little kitten. begging for more.

you had never felt so needy before. blowjobs were something you just gave to get a feel for how big a guy was. and if it wasn't to your standards, you left disappointed but he at least got something out of it.

"sweet girl." his fingers toyed with your hair, as if to apologize and comfort you for the rough treatment.

"toji." you whimper, bottom lip sticking out. "please.. i want it so badly."

"ask nicely." he demands, stroking a strand away from your face.

"...please can you fuck me?" you repeat.

"again. use my name."

you groan. he's really making you work for it. "fuck. fuck me, mister, please!" you shift uncomfortably, finally sitting back up on the seat. "toji, pleasee." you whine, straddling his lap again, hovering over his semi-hard cock, while kissing his cheek. "need you so badly."

he chuckles, hands sliding to grip your hips, letting you kiss down his neck. "ah, little minx. can't say no to such a sweet request, can i now?" he drawls, calloused hands sliding down your skirt to squeeze the meat of your ass.

"ah... 'es, toji.." you murmur, kissing his lips. it was your first with him. his lips were chapped in contrast to yours. you tasted like your berry lip oil and his cum at the same time, and he tasted like cigarettes. your head was tilted, your manicure digging into his shoulder as you ravished his lips.

"you taste good, sweetheart." he purrs, guiding you as he maneuvers your thong off of your body. "i'll be taking this, by the way." he whispers, placing a kiss on your neck, stuffing your panties into the pocket of his grey sweatpants.

"t-toji!" you peep, eyes wide in bewilderment. "g-give them back-"

"nah." he sits you down on his lap completely, the base of his now rock hard cock teasing your aching, sopping slit. "ride me, girl. wanna see you try."

your face was even more flustered, if that was even possible. "whatever you say, daddy." you feign your confidence, adjusting your position.

he slides off your white blouse, unlatching your bra. "pretty little tits. wonder who else saw these, hmm?" he teases, tongue teasing your peaks.

"ah- toji! fuck! n...not so sudden!" you instinctively arch your back, nails sinking into his chest covered by his compression shirt. he simply wraps his arms around your waist even tighter, virtually feasting on your perky breasts. "toji! fuck, not there..!" you squeak, noticing the salacious string of of love bites dissipated on your neck, collarbone, and under breasts.

"mm.. nah. i like marking up my girl." he mutters, taking in your nipple in between his teeth.

"ow!" you yelp, tugging on his hair instinctively. "that hurt."

"oh, 'm sorry, baby. won't happen again." his sleazy grin says otherwise.

"toji, ah... need more." you whimper, rocking your hips against his cock, wetting the base with your arousal. "want you in me so bad."

his eyes were dark hearing your pleas, his fingers gripping the meat of your ass. "damn, nasty girl, begging for it? might just give you what you want if you promise to be good."

"please, daddy." you groan, lifting your hips up to hover over his dick.

"so impatient..." he sighs, pressing a butterfly kiss to the back of your ear. "go ahead."

you perk up at his allowance, gently swirling the tip around your dripping arousal, flicking your clit with it. "ah.. fuck!" you cry in excitement, sinking onto his cock, so fast, and you didn't even do that much foreplay to be this wet.

"shit, y’er such a slut." toji groans, feeling you engulf him, you feel amazing. "juust like that, baby, good girl." he presses a wet kiss to your nipple. "ride me, i want to find out how quickly you can cum.”

"t-toji, shit." you croak, feeling the slightly uncomfortable stretch. "wait, please, one second..."

"poor baby." he croons in your ear, stroking your hair softly as you bury your head in his chest, trying to adjust. "too big for you?"

"mhm." your sweet voice comes out muffled, relishing his scent. "can we wait?" you mumble. “let me get used to you?”

he barks. “this ain’t for your comfort, darling. you need ta be taught a lesson here.” his eyes flash with a dangerous spark. “y’er lucky i like you a lil’ bit, letting you ride me and all.”

you whimper, feeling more relaxed after slowly rocking your hips. “ngh- it’s so deep, daddy-“ you groan, finally finding the strength to bounce on his dick. “shittt.” you cry, feebly moving faster to chase your high.

“such a good little slut, hm?” toji chuckles, kneading your ass. “tight pussy for such a loose girl. doin’ daddy so well."

“fuck, fuck, yes!!” you cry. “ah.. ngh- daddy, so good, mmh..”

your mind was hazy, focused on riding him with all the determination you got. you lifted your hips and then sank down on him again, moaning his name over and over again. "t-too good, daddy...!" you whine, chasing your high with all your might, legs cramping.

you felt toji's hands twitch at the side of your hips, granting you some leeway by meeting your thrusts halfway, legs spreading a bit further apart. god, how could he have resisted your temptations for so long? he was so infatuated with the way you cried out his name, kohl smeared around your eyes. the lewd cherry on top was the way your tits bounced in his face, as he fucked you senseless.

"harder, daddy, please...!" you claw at his shoulders, nearly ripping the slutty compression shirt.

and harder he went, his hips slamming into your ass, feeling the slick from your wet cunt stain the expensive leather. you felt the car lurch forward. he made the car bounce over and over again, every time he pounded into your perfect pussy.

"you like it, baby?" he asks you, lips latched to your breasts. "dirty girl- hah- likes my cock rough?"

"yes, yes, -ahh- dont stop, please!" your back arches like cat, relieving your leg cramp by your impending orgasm. the bastard made it so much better worse by thumbing your swollen clit, your legs freezing, rendering you helpless.

"you're so sexy like this." he chuckles, seeing you're letting him throw you around like a doll. "taking me like such a good girl, seemed you learned your lesson, hm?" toji pinches your nipple with his other hand, slowing down when you spray all over his thighs with a scream of his name, soaking his grey sweatpants. "fuck, oh my god. " you cry, your orgasm lasting a lifetime, clenching onto him. he relished in the obscene squelch, toji's coil in his stomach was gonna snap soon. the sound of your moans fills the small space of the car, and toji can feel the vibrations of your pleasure echoing through the metal frame.

"daddy-" you choke, "cum in me. p-lease." you whimper, desperate for him, all of him.

"dirty, dirty girl." he sneers, roughly grabbing at your waist to hit into you deeper. "want to be a mom at 19? slut." he groans, when you pick up the slack, slamming your ass down.

"mhh- 'm on the pill, just- ah! please..!" you gasp, when you feel him thrust once more, a harsh smack on your ass ringing.

"take- it." he grunts, feeling his vision blur as he empties his load into your awaiting, perfect pussy. you feel so much of it, so much it's trailing down your thighs.

"ah..! toji." you whisper, eyes wide.

"don't give me that look, you wanted it." he snaps, placing a chaste kiss on your lips. "good girl." he adds, his tone slightly softer.

you don't say anything in return, opting to melt in his arms, feeling his cock soften inside you. "mmm."

he presses a kiss to your temple, "clean yourself up, brat."

you whine. "why am i back to brat?"

he rolls his eyes. "jesus fucking christ. clean up, princess. i need a smoke." he pulls out reluctantly, shamelessly grinning when he sees his cum drip down your thighs. you let him go, lending him a jacket to hide the wet spot you made on his pants.

he's standing outside, leaning on the dashboard as he's texting someone- your father, probably- taking a puff of his cigarette.

you dress again, fixing your skirt and retrieving your bra. you get out of the car, quiet footsteps approaching him, hugging him.

toji is startled when you suddenly appear beside him, wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him with that sickly sweet pout. he can feel her breath tickling his neck, and he takes another drag from his cigarette before looking down at you with a mixture of surprise and amusement. "princess," he says dryly, "what are you doing?"

he takes your silence as a hint to return your affection.

he puts an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and sharing some of his warmth as you two stand together under the setting sun. "we gotta go home soon, princess."

"don't wanna." you murmur.

"aw. c'mon, princess. y'er daddy's asking where we are." he shuts off his phone, putting it in his pocket.

"mm. okay. lets go home." you sigh.

toji takes one last drag from his cigarette before throwing it away and putting it out with his foot. Then he wraps his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him and kissing you deeply on the lips. "parting gift?" he smirks.

you laugh. "whatever, daddy."

"let's go home now, sweet girl." he rolls his eyes, laughing as you pepper kisses over his face. "and remember..." he adds on, his voice a smooth murmur. "our little secret." he holds out his pinky.

"your little secret." you whisper, twisting pinkies into a small promise, unfolding for better or worse?

hii i was so lazy writing this (took me a whole damn month) (more like two) but i had to get this out i lobe bodyguard!toji so so so muchhhhh 🙁🙁 (not enough to not be lazy)

reminder that fiction is not reality and don't base off sexual relations w/ smut or p-rn. things are exaggerated and they are fantasies. just an fyi because i gen feel so icky when i write darker content (smut) and how it could impact people who read it... just make sure that there's always consent, you're vocal about boundaries, and you feel safe.

reblogs appreciated i love u guys 🤩

༝༚༝༚ indy

- cross posted on ao3- miniminari (linked if i actually posted it LMAO)

[sapphicmsmarvel]

acotar x reader: one day at a time

Tw for death: 

Reader loses somebody and their friends are there to pick up the pieces. A lil sprinkle sprinkle of az x reader bc that's MY BABYYYY

Lotsssssss of acts of service within the group. 

Also bc im a petty asshole i included a snippet of one of my racist aunts who said some wild shit to me at MY SISTERS FUNERAL and just basically dissing her. (literally why would you stare at my poc best friend who's just trying to support me. This bitch stared at MY GIRL?? MY BESTIE???? NUH UH NOT ON MY WATCH BITCH). 

Said best friend was just like “she’s never seen a brown person before marie it's fine.” 

NO ITS NOT. IDC IF THIS IS MY SISTERS FUNERAL WE’LL MAKE IT A DOUBLE FUNERAL. 

I'm petty. 

soooo this is born out of grief for my sister. My sister passed away on 03/11/21 and this is very much catered to my grief and these are my comfort characters so naturally i'm gonna write about them when it comes to helping their loved one grieve. 

and yeah this is gonna be based around the reader's sister dying. what can i say. I'm on brand. 

also reader is feyres childhood friend that got turned into a fae with nesta and elain. i feel like that’s just the staple with my fics. 

---------

When you got notified of your sister's death, it was actually a pretty good day up until that point. Sunny day with clouds, a wonderful brunch date with Mor, adorable children at the studio with Feyre. Afterwards, the two of you began walking back to Feyre’s, content on playing with Nyx for the evening before retiring to your own home. When you walked up, Feyre looked at you and told you about how the Inner Circle were having a meeting inside the office. So you two quickly joined them. 

When you walked in, Rhysand held out a letter, “this was a letter delivered to you.” 

You made a face and grabbed it, “okay, so why are you all staring at me like that?” 

“This person walked into the Spring Court and dropped it on Tamlins doorstep.” Cassian said. “They dropped it in the middle of night, just when he wasn’t prowling like a creep.” 

“What the fuck?” You asked as you analyzed it. 

No name but yours and a pisspoor address. 

Lady Y/N L/N

Night Court

“We didn’t know if it was a…” Azriel trailed off, realizing how silly what he was about to say was. “Hence, why all of us are here.”

“We’re also just nosey.” Mor shrugged, her nose wrinkling. 

You snorted, and tore into it, “you could’ve opened it.” 

“It’s your mail. We may be protective bastards but you still have a right to privacy.” Rhysand drawled. 

Feyre stood next to you as you pulled out the paper, your eyes tracing over it. 

“It’s from my dad.” You said recognizing his handwriting. 

Then, it all went to shit. 

Your big sister was dead, the woman you fought with a lot of the time but yet would take a beating for. Your big sister who helped guide you through life, who would always be there even if she was pissed off at you for some inane reason.

Gone.

You just froze, not knowing what to do. You’re pretty sure Az asked you a question, then Cass, then Rhys. Then you felt Feyre’s hand on your shoulder. 

I need to leave. 

I need to go before I hurt someone. 

You just wordlessly handed the letter to her and winnowed away. 

You didn’t go to your apartment, you didn’t go to the townehouse, you didn’t go anywhere they would find you. 

You went to the middle of the forest. You just picked a random point to lose it.

And you did. 

You didn’t remember much of causing the damage. Only that you managed to stop when Azriel’s arms wrapped around you. You just kept screaming. “I know, I know. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” He said, his lips against your hair. 

His shadows wrapped around your hands, cool wind kissing away the raging inferno of your cuts. You collapsed, taking Azriel to the ground. 

He just held you as you sobbed. You felt his own tears hit your neck. He usually did a better job masking his emotions, but it was you crying, you who he had a deeper bond with. So he let his emotions run free.

“Y/N!” Feyre called into your mind. Your shields were down and you didn’t even notice.

“Az has me, i’m sorry I-” 

“Don’t apologize. I would’ve done worse if I found out…” Her voice trailed off. 

“I’m sorry I ran off.” 

“Do not apologize.” She said sternly, “After you and Az are done come back to the River House. You can sleep at our house tonight. Guest bed is currently being made up.” 

She left your mind before you could respond. You breathed in the smell of Az. 

Azriel brought you back to Feyre and Rhysand’s home. Rhys had trouble with touch, but never with you. He brought you into his arms instantly. You tried not to let the tears surface again, but it was quite hard when a brotherly kiss was pressed against your head. 

“We got you, Y/N.” He whispered against the crown of your head.

Nuala and Cerridwen made you your favorite food. Which prompted you to start crying again. The twins looked so panicked that it almost made you laugh. Elain made your favorite cookies, which again kept the tears going.

“I don’t know why I’m crying over this.” You said helplessly, you managed to laugh during that. 

Feyre and Elain hugged you from both sides. 

You retired to the guest bedroom, you found a pile of fluffy blankets and your favorite candy. As well as a bouquet of your favorite flowers with Mor’s handwriting scrawled on the note. Amren left you a bottle of your favorite wine too. 

Eventually, after some more tears, there was a knock at your door. You called out for them to come in but saw Nyx. 

The little guy was walking even more, speaking full sentences. It’s insane to you that he grew so fast but it has been 5 years since he was born. 

“Go on like we practiced.” You heard Feyre encourage from behind the door frame. 

“Hi, Auntie.” The little guy mumbled. Holding a glass of water. “I have something for you.” 

“Yeah buddy?” You smiled despite the shitty day. Your nephew made everything better. 

Rhysand walked in behind him, as did Feyre. Rhysand lifted him up onto the bed while Feyre handed you a cup of hot chocolate. 

You were just glad Nyx wasn’t holding the hot drink. 

“Here’s some wata.” He said, his small hands handing you the glass. 

“Oh thank you.” You said earnestly and took a sip. You set it on the table. Then you laid back down and faced him. “Just what I needed.” You were genuine. 

“Auntie, are you sad?” Both Feyre and Rhys froze at their sons question. Clearly, he was going off script. 

You sniffed, “yeah, Nyxie. I’m really sad.” 

“I love you.” His eyes were so big, so genuine. You were going to cry for a whole new reason. 

“I love you more.” 

“Nuh uh.” He said, as a typical toddler wanting to argue no matter what. 

You huffed a laugh and opened your arms. “Come here.” 

He crawled into your arms with no hesitation. You were careful of his little baby wings as you held him close to you. 

You loved this kid. 

Feyre settled in behind you on the bed, Rhysand joined on the other side with his son. 

They held you as you drifted off into a dreamless sleep, hoping to see your sister one last time. 

————————

When it came to planning the funeral, you had to go out to your family’s cottage to help. You said you could go alone, but frankly, good luck telling Nesta and the Valkyries to stay behind when one of their own is in pain. 

So when you saddled up to your family with three warriors behind you, they were scared a bit to say the least. 

Emerie held your hand during the funeral discussion as Nesta watched the director to make sure she wasn’t insensitive to you. Gwyn stood guard behind you. They were protectors, they were not gonna leave one of their girls to deal with this alone.

Eventually, the funeral was planned. The rest of your chosen family came out and surprised you. You sent a notice to them of when the funeral was and told them they didn’t need to come because you knew how busy they were. 

When they showed up on your family’s doorstep to surprise you, you started crying again. 

——-

The day of the funeral, it was the entire inner circle crammed into the living room of the cottage of your mortal family’s living space.  

You felt bad cramming two males with wings into that small space, especially with so many other people. But Cassian and Azriel assured you that there’s nowhere else they would be. 

You slept sharing a flimsy mattress with Elain, since the other two sisters were with their mates. But Feyre and Rhys slept close. So did Nesta and Cassian. Both women facing your general direction. 

Azriel did not sleep. He wanted to be there in case you woke up in tears again. 

Amren slept sitting up against a wall, she wouldn’t admit it but she wanted an eye on you. She only trusted hers. 

Mor was curled on the other side of you. You were sandwiched between her and Elain. 

Emerie and Gwyn slept down by your guys’ legs. Emerie’s head on Mor’s thigh. Gwyn hugging Elain legs in her sleep. 

Azriel chose not to mention what happened when your dad came downstairs in the middle of the night to check on you. 

It was as if he wasn’t sure if you’d really be there. He just lost one daughter, he didn’t want to lose another. 

He nodded at Azriel who nodded back. Assuring him that you weren’t going anywhere. That you always had people watching out for you.  

As everyone got ready, it was a somber moment. Elain did your hair, Mor did your makeup, Amren set out your jewelry and Feyre handled your clothes. They didn’t want you doing anything. 

Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie let your nephew and niece play with their swords. It was the one thing they seemed interested in so they let them do it. 

Rhysand was currently trying to get your dad to accept a check from him and Feyre to pay for everything plus anything else your parents need during this time. Your father was refusing. Rhys spoke bluntly. “Your daughter is my family, please let me take care of her family.” 

Your dad didn’t. But Rhys hid the check in your dads night table. He felt yucky going into their room but did it to make sure they got the check. 

On the way to the funeral, Azriel had offered his arm for you to take, which you gratefully did. Rhysand got the door for you. Az led you in. The overprotective bat boys acted like your body guards, which you appreciated, however you couldn’t help but giggle a little bit at it. 

Nesta told you before the funeral to let her know if you wanted her to intervene to keep some relatives away. 

One of your (racist) aunts kept telling you how you’re responsible for your sister's kids. Then when she saw Azriel, Cassian, Rhysand, Amren and Emerie, she just stared. Before you could intervene, Elain and Gwyn stood in front of them. 

You almost wacked her so hard it was going to be a double funeral. You had prepared them before that some relatives were racist. They didn’t give a rat's ass. 

Oh and then everyone in your party including you were Fae. That also did not help. 

Hence why you lived in Velaris, away from all the bigotry.

During the service, Feyre sat on one side of you, Amren on the other side. Feyre clutched your hand and Amren even held out her hand for you. She always had a soft spot for you. Mor’s makeup didn’t last long throughout the service which is why she did bare minimum on your face. 

Afterwards, you left pretty soon after the service was done. You just had to leave the building. You guys went to a pub in your funeral attire. Azriel sat next to you and Nesta on the other side. Rhys refused to let you pay. But you knew he was trying to get you riled up. It was working. 

He was incredibly happy to see the fire return to your eyes. 

At that moment, with your family, you knew you were going to be okay. 

Just have to take every day one step at a time.

[sansaorgana]

📻 PLAYLIST — LEADER OF THE PACK

TRACK 2. — TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM BY LESLEY GORE ⏮ ⏸ ⏭

PAIRING — Benny Cross x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — You are still friends with Benny and your crush on him gets even worse. In the meantime, he meets new friends and they give you reasons to worry about his future.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Once again – the gif is NOT a faceclaim & the Reader's looks are not described. I am sorry it's taking me slower than I expected to write but I am job hunting at the moment and I am very close to getting one job and last week I was doing things related to that. Please, keep your fingers crossed! 😇 If I get the job, I will still write just slower but if I don't... I'm gonna have more time for writing! 🤪

WARNINGS — era accurate sexism and mindset of characters (I assumed it would be like late 1950s / early 1960s and they are from a small town), Reader and Benny are still minors in this part

WORD COUNT — 4,060

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

LEADER OF THE PACK (TRACK 2.)

You were still friends with Benny but he was obviously never invited again to your house and he had enough decency to never ask you why. Your mother hadn’t actually said anything about forbidding you to be friends with him so you didn’t feel like you had to hide that fact, although you were trying not to mention Benny around your family and whenever his name slipped out of your mouth, your mother and Luke were exchanging angry looks. Your father was oblivious to the fact Benny had been in your house once, so he was mostly just ignoring your little mentions of Benny’s name here and there. In fact, you were sure he was not listening to you at all.

The only thing you were worried about was the fact Luke was going to the same school as you. You didn’t want your brother to see how much time you were spending with Benny and that was nearly all of it. Thankfully, Luke was too busy developing his relationship with Patsy Carter and it included going on many dates but also trying to impress her on the baseball field, so he was mostly focused on practising.

That was not the last time you and Benny spent the time together outside of the school, though. A few weeks after the incident with your mother and Luke, Benny told you that you could come over to his place after classes. Your eyes widened at this proposition because you knew that he lived in a dangerous part of town. You didn’t want to phrase it this way, though.

“I don’t know, Benny… You’ve never mentioned inviting me before…” You looked down nervously when you were sitting next to him in the cafeteria.

“I know but I kinda, like, owe you now, don’t I?” He scratched the back of his head.

“It’s fine, Benny, really…” You smiled shyly. “I mean… You don’t have a mom to make us dinner, it’s fine, I understand…” You tried to assure him. 

“I’ll think of somethin’,” Benny mumbled and stood up, putting his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. “Well, fine, let’s not. Sorry for bein’ pushy,” he shrugged his arms and you looked up at the sound of his tone. He was angry.

You suspected why – he was ashamed of his place and now you had to confirm that he indeed had reasons to be. You didn’t even want to go there.

“Benny, it’s not what you think… I’m scared of your dad,” you bit on your lower lip. That was true, too. After all the stories Benny had shared with you, it would be crazy to not be afraid of that drunkard.

“He’s outta town,” Benny crouched down and his face visibly softened when he found out the reason. “I would never let him hurt you anyway, (Y/N). But he’s outta town and God only knows when he’s gonna be back,” he admitted.

“What?” You furrowed your brows. “Why?”

“He met some girl at the bar a few nights ago. He packed his bags, left me a note that he’s going to visit her. It’s not the first time he’s leaving like that but it’s the first time I’m left alone without my ma,” he admitted and your heart clenched in your chest at his confession. He was talking about it as if it was something completely normal and casual, he even shrugged his arms. But it was not normal or casual and you had to fight the urge to caress his face and hug him – you still hadn’t gained the courage to make him know how you felt about him.

“Well, okay, then, I can come to your place. Tomorrow?” You asked.

“Why not today, doll?” Benny winked at you.

“Because I have to tell my mom that I won’t be back for dinner. I’m gonna lie that I’m visiting Rachel,” you told him and Benny nodded.

“That Rachel girl… She doesn’t like me,” he pointed out and blushed a little.

“But she likes me. We’re best friends,” you assured him.

It was Friday and it was colder on that day than you expected it would be. You only wore a cardigan but Benny put his jacket over you and you felt like the most special girl in the world. You followed him to his side of town and you tried to walk as close as possible. You noticed, though, that he didn’t take the books from you this time. You wondered why. Was it possible that he didn’t want his friends from his street to see him carrying books for a girl?

Not long after, you realised that your assumptions were probably true. He was saying hi to many guys on the street and each was worse than the other. They were older than Benny, looking mean and scary, staring at you like you were a naive piece of meat.

“Is that your girl, Cross?” One of them asked. His jeans were ripped and he was wearing heavy black leather boots.

“Nah, just my friend. She helps me at school,” Benny answered and you knew that it was the truth but you still felt a little hurt by his words.

“You care ‘bout school?” The guy snorted. “Anyway, you gonna come over tomorrow and help me fix the bike, huh? I heard your ol’ man’s outta town again so Cassie can feed you dinner.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna come over,” Benny nodded and then he grabbed you by the hem of your jacket to pull you closer and drag you behind him. Apparently it was not in fashion here to say have a good day at the end of the conversation.

“Who’s Cassie?” You asked Benny, biting on your lower lip. You felt stupid for getting jealous just because some other girl’s name was mentioned but you couldn’t help it.

“That guy’s girl,” Benny shrugged his arms.

“What is his name?”

“Henry, but they call him Hammer ever since I remember,” Benny answered. “He lives with Cassie down the street.”

“So… They’re married?” You furrowed your brows.

“No,” Benny laughed at that and you didn’t like the way he did so – like you were stupid. Then he stopped in front of a house that looked like it had been built in the Great Depression and hadn’t been renovated since. “It’s here,” he pointed at the door with his chin.

“O-oh, nice,” you forced a smile and watched him unlock the door. Then, he held them open for you and you carefully walked inside. The interior looked like the exterior and you were thankful that Benny didn’t take his shoes off because it meant you didn’t have to either and you would rather not walk on this floor with your white socks on.

Beny helped you to get out of his jacket and he hung it on the wall before leading you to the kitchen. There was a small table by the window and you put the books there.

“Wanna drink somethin’?” Benny asked.

“Wouldn’t mind a cup of tea,” you admitted and sat by the table.

“Tea, yeah, sure,” Benny sighed and started to look through the cabinets. After two minutes you were convinced there was no tea in this house but he eventually found a bag and placed it inside a cup after putting the kettle on.

In the meantime, you looked around and you smiled sadly at the picture on the wall. There was a kind-looking but very exhausted woman with sad eyes on it that was holding a little boy on her lap. It had to be Benny with his mom. He caught you staring.

“It’s the only picture of her we have,” he admitted. “She didn’t like being photographed,” he explained.

“And the wedding picture?” You asked and Benny shook his head.

“She burnt it one time when my ol’ man was not coming back home for months. She didn’t expect he’d be back,” he told you.

“It’s a shame,” you didn’t know what else to say.

“He didn’t notice and she didn’t like the picture anyway,” Benny shrugged his arms and that was when the kettle began to whistle, so he stood up to pour the hot water inside your cup. He handed it to you and sat on the chair by the table as well.

“Do you want to start with doing homework?” You asked, trying to change the subject.

“I think it’s a waste of time,” Benny confessed and you furrowed your brows at that. “I mean, you’re wasting your time on me. I won’t ever be as smart as you anyway,” he shrugged.

“Well, I’m not trying to make you as smart as me, I’m just helping you to pass your classes,” you teased with a nervous smile.

“I dunno…”

“What about your mom? Wouldn’t she like you to finish the school year?” You tried a different tactic and Benny’s eyes saddened. Short silence occurred between you two and you sipped on your tea while waiting for his answer.

“She wanted me to find a proper job and all that. She wanted me to be nothin’ like my ol’ man,” he sighed.

“You won’t be,” you assured him. You knew it was a risky thing to say but you had a feeling deep down that Benny was not a bad boy at all.

Everyone was saying that he was because no one truly saw him. Your family and Rachel were seeing Benny in a context of his father and the neighbourhood he was living in. They didn’t care enough to look deeper and when they attempted to do so – like your mother those few weeks earlier, they were getting scared and turning their backs on him just because they would approach some difficult trait about him that they were not empathetic enough to forgive. But was it so surprising that a boy who had been growing up like this would have so much anger in him? No, it was not.

Even you were angry about many things – you were angry at your father for being cold and harsh with you and your mother. You were jealous of Rachel’s dad. He was treating Rachel and her sisters like princesses and he was always so warm and kind. He was making you feel safe in a way your father never could. And Rachel’s dad had been in the war as well but he was never using it against his daughters.

You were angry at your mother that she was so obedient. You knew that she was trying her best to be a good wife and mother and you admired her for that but there were limits to everything. Sometimes she should just step in and put her husband back in his place. You knew many women who were like this but not your mother and you were angry that she lacked the courage.

You were angry at Luke for treating you like shit and acting like an asshole while trying his best to be like your father and to impress him. He also was angry at you because, despite everything, he was never as smart as you and he could never go to college, so he couldn’t plan that after high school. You would be the only child who would probably go there and that was this only thing you were better at than him. It was bringing you lots of satisfaction.

But still, you were angry that you hadn’t been born a boy. You wouldn’t have to care about so many rules and you could be more free and more reckless… All of that while having the unconditional love of your father.

Yes, even you were angry about lots of things. So, you couldn’t even imagine how angry Benny had to be. About everything. That was why you weren’t surprised or scared while finding out more and more dark things about him. Because you knew that if you dug deep enough, you would find a diamond.

Or perhaps you wanted to believe that.

“You know, I’m jealous of guys like Hammer,” Benny leaned back in his chair.

“Why would you be?” You asked surprised. You couldn’t understand what was there to be jealous about – you had seen that guy and he was a bum.

“Well, he’s got the bike, he can just hop on it and ride wherever he wants. He’s free,” Benny explained to you.

“And Cassie?”

“Cassie’s just a girl. He can leave her behind anytime and she’s gonna wait for him,” Benny shrugged his arms and you clenched your jaw.

“So… Like your father?” You asked and he blushed.

“Nah… Come on, I was only sayin’... I didn’t mean that…” He started, visibly feeling stupid.

“Let’s start studying,” you decided in the harsh tone of a teacher while opening the first book and Benny nodded quietly.

You were doing homework and additional exercises for about two hours before your stomach began to growl. You were embarrassed about it but Benny quickly caught that and he stood up to put something inside the oven.

“What is it?” You asked, not trusting his cooking skills completely.

“I bought it in the market, it says on the box to put it inside the oven for some time,” Benny explained.

“Oh, okay,” you sighed with relief. It had to be one of those frozen dinners that your father was always saying they meant that the housewife was lazy. But Benny was not a housewife.

However, when the meal was ready and placed on a plate in front of you, you noticed that Benny was making himself a sandwich and the bread he was using did not look very fresh.

“Are you not eating dinner?” You asked him, surprised.

“I didn’t have enough money to buy two,” Benny blushed and you felt extremely bad.

“Well, I can survive without dinner once. Please, have mine,” you pushed the plate away to move it to his side of the table.

“No, I bought it for you,” Benny shook his head.

“I can have a sandwich,” you insisted.

“No,” Benny looked at you sternly. It made you look down and you began to quietly eat the dinner he had made for you. It wasn’t very good – you had to admit that to your father.

While eating, you considered all the ways you could help Benny with. Perhaps your mother would want to give him a second chance if she knew the truth about his current situation? Maybe she would at least give him some leftovers? Maybe you could give him your pocket money? But you knew that Benny was incredibly proud and you had a feeling that he would find it insulting if you even tried any of these things. So, you just had to accept this situation.

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” he broke the silence suddenly as if he knew what you were thinking about. “Hammer’s looking after me and so does Cassie.”

“That’s nice of them. Why are they like this?” You asked.

“My mom was babysitting him sometimes, he’s not much older than us. And I remind him of his baby brother who died,” Benny explained and you nodded. “Cassie’s my distant cousin, I think. At least she told me once that our mothers were cousins or somethin’, dunno. But she had it bad in life, her ol’ man was much worse than mine. She has a big heart, she helps everyone,” Benny added.

“I’m glad you have them,” was all you could say.

When you saw Benny again at school on Monday, he was wearing clothes that hadn’t been ironed at all. He never wore properly ironed clothes but this time they looked simply awful. You just had to point it out.

“I usually iron my clothes,” he told you, a little embarrassed. “But I had no time over the weekend. Had to take more jobs than usual, my dad’s still not back,” he explained. “Also, I met new people, you know?” His eyes sparkled with excitement and you sat next to him on the bench in the corridor but you had to admit that it was making you feel uncomfortable how other kids were staring at you two contemptuously. They also saw that Benny’s clothes were even worse than usual.

“Oh, really?” You asked him.

“So, I went to Hammer and Cassie on Saturday to help him fix the bike. He can do it himself but it’s faster when I help him and I like it because I learn a lot then. So yeah, I was there, fixing his bike, and his friends came over. They all have their own bikes, (Y/N). They’re all so cool,” Benny was visibly excited about it and you were nodding your head but you didn’t like his words at all.

You didn’t want to tell him about being careful around those people or that they could be a bad influence on him. You didn’t want to sound like everyone else and Benny liked you because you were different. But you just hated that he seemed to be more invested in those guys and their motorbikes than he was about school, upcoming exams and his future.

“What about Mr. Midler?” You interrupted his story about Hammer’s friends and Benny closed his mouth, confused. “The mechanic who was hiring you sometimes for the weekends? You mentioned he wanted you to work for him in the summer and perhaps he’d give you a job after high school? He has no sons of his own who would inherit,” you reminded him.

“(Y/N), please, Mr. Midler is history to me now,” Benny answered mysteriously.

“You had a fight with him?”

“Yeah, sort of,” Benny blushed.

“I’m sure it can be solved. Let me talk to him,” you proposed and Benny’s baby blue eyes widened at those words.

“No!” Benny shook his head.

“What did you do, Benny?” You asked him as your heart skipped a beat, expecting the worst.

“Nothin’, really, I was just rude to some of his clients,” Benny rolled his eyes and shrugged. “They were assholes to me and Mr. Midler said that I should have worn a fake smile and all that. But that’s not my nature, you know, doll? To just ignore when someone’s treatin’ me like shit.”

“Oh, I know,” you nodded and sighed. “Do you want me to iron your clothes after school today?” You quickly changed the subject and reached out to fix a wrinkle on his shirt.

It was a good excuse that his clothes were not ironed because you could touch him here and there, pretending to fix his appearance. When, in fact, you were just dying to touch him. You wondered what it would be like to be a girlfriend of a boy like Benny. It had to be completely different than to be a girlfriend of an ordinary guy like all the rest at school.

But you knew Benny would never want to date a girl like you. He was treating you like a friend but he would never see you as a woman. Yeah, he had to like real women. And you were still a child. Naive and innocent.

“It’s fine. I’m going to Hammer’s after school and Cassie’s gonna do that,” Benny told you and you took your hand away while nodding sadly.

Benny’s father didn’t come back home and he started suspecting he wouldn’t come back at all. It was better in many ways – his father had been a drunk burden after all. But he was an adult and he could earn more money. Even though he would spend most of it on alcohol, he still could pay the bills somehow with Benny’s help and now Benny was alone with it, which resulted in him coming to school less often.

And when he was actually showing up, he was talking mostly about Hammer and his biker friends. You were pretending to be interested in it but you were just begging Benny to open the books and catch up on the classes he had missed instead. Sometimes he agreed, sometimes he didn’t but you were positive he would finish this year with your help. Barely, but still.

You didn’t mind him having new friends but you had a bad feeling about those guys and the fact he seemed to be so fascinated with them made you feel frustrated because it was ruining your plans. It was silly, of course, to have those plans. But in your head, you would go to college and Benny would start his job as a mechanic after high school. You would marry him after graduating from college and you would start a family together. You would be a teacher and he’d fix cars for money. Maybe one day he would start his own business. 

Those were stupid and unrealistic dreams, of course. And the more he was talking about his new and awful friends, the more you were convinced that those dreams were even more unrealistic than you had been suspecting. Also, you didn’t like the fact that Benny hadn’t mentioned even once that you should meet his new friends.

As if he knew that you were completely out of a different world than them and he didn’t want to mix up those worlds. But would he eventually give up on one to focus more on the other? You knew he would never choose you. You were not interesting enough even though you were trying. You bought a black eyeliner and tried to make your eyes look like women in the magazines had them but you failed and decided to never use it again. You hid it inside your desk’s drawer with anger.

You also stopped wearing so many ribbons and pink sweaters but Benny didn’t seem to even notice anything. He was still treating you the same so maybe it had never been about your appearance. Perhaps it was about your character and that was more difficult to change. You didn’t want to change it either.

You loved Benny for who he was. Why couldn’t he love you just the same?

You were worried about him and you prayed at night to whoever would listen for Benny to finally see how much you cared about him. For him to give you a chance and you would take care of him despite what everyone would think and say about you for choosing a boy like him to give all of your love to. You wished you were both eighteen already so you could live with him and cook for him, iron his clothes, make his bed and all those things your mother was doing every day for your father. Sometimes, you were even sure that if Benny asked, you would not go to college and marry him straight out of high school.

That was how much in love you were. Or perhaps how foolish you were.

But there were also times when you loved him a little less. When you would come back home from school hurt – after Benny had treated you a little coldly or ignored you to talk about his new friends. You would sit on your bed sadly and hate him for the fact how much he was affecting you and how your mood every day depended on him. You wondered then why did you even insist on loving him so much…

So, one day, you tore a page out of your notebook and prepared a list:

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Reasons why I love Benny Cross ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ♡ he can be mean but when he’s nice, then nobody’s better ♡♡ he makes me feel like the most special girl in the world ♡♡♡ he’s strong and doesn’t care much what others think of him ♡♡♡♡ he has the most beautiful eyes and his hair look like gold in sunlight ♡♡♡♡♡ he’s different than all the other boys I know – including my dad and Luke, which is a good thing ♡♡♡♡♡♡ he deserves better and I know I could give him the world if he only gave me a chance ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ his voice!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ he’s taking care of me the way he can (carrying my books, giving me his jacket, making me food) ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ his lips were made for kissing, I just know… ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ when I make him laugh, I feel invincible

MASTERLIST

[loislane41319]

The calm after the storm.

Pairing: Dad!Spencer Reid x reader

Wordcount: 718

Summary: Spencer comes home after being kidnapped.

Warnings: None. I imagined this happening after the events of the Criminal Minds episodes Believer (13x22) and 300 (14x01), but it's not necessary to understand the story.

Note: This is not my best work, but I still put in effort and I'm proud of it anyway. Any feedback is welcome, just be kind about it.

Also, even if all you do is read this without leaving a like or comment or anything else; thank you. I might never know you read this, but it still means a lot.

Story:

The whole apartment smelled like fresh baked sweets. The entire kitchen was covered in bowls, kitchen utensils and flour that you were itching to clean. But, hearing your daughter laugh and seeing how exited she was pressing all the different shaped cookie cutters into the rolled out dough, made that itch disappear like snow in the sunlight. The sound of keys hitting the bottom of a bowl made you turn around. It couldn’t be…

The only person it could be was your husband, but it couldn’t be him. He was an FBI agent with the Behavioural Analysis Unit. His job was dangerous and yesterday you had gotten one of the two calls you had been dreading since the start of your relationship. Your husband had been kidnapped. Your hearts weight had tripled the moment you heard. Your husbands boss had promised their team would find him, but in what state? The only guarantee in this situation was that there were no guarantees. All you could think about were your daughters. Your little girls had just turned four and you had no idea how to raise them without their father. You couldn’t tell them what happened, so, in an attempt to distract them this morning, you were baking cookies with one of them, the other still sleeping. Until you heard that one sound you didn’t expect.

“Daddy!” Your daughters voice pulled you out of your thoughts as she jumped off her step stool and ran toward the door. Your eyes followed the little girl until she flew into the arms of the person who had just entered your apartment. The man you had been married to for over seven years. Your husband and the father of your children. He was okay. He was safe. He was home.

You walked towards your husband as he hugged his daughter. “Hi pumpkin! I missed you!” He told the four year old in his arms. “I missed you too, daddy! Mommy and I made cookies, do you wanna see?” Abby asked enthusiastically. “Absolutely, but where’s Amy?” Her dad asked her about her twin sister as you watched in awe a few feet away. “Amy is still sleeping.” Abby told him. “Ah, in that case, I’m just gonna say hi to mommy and then you can show me all the cookies you made, okay?” Your husband asked your little girl. She nodded and so her dad put her down on the ground, opening his arms for you. He didn’t have to wait even a single second. Without having to think about it, you stepped closer, wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him as close as you possibly could. Feeling your husbands body against your own, caused you to release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “I was really scared.” You breathed into his ear. “I was too, but I’m here now. I’m home.” Spencer whispered as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. “I love you.” You whispered back, mirroring his actions. “I love you.” He whispered back, pressing a kiss to your cheek. He loosened his hold on you just enough to press his lips on yours. You wished you could stay in that moment forever, but you had to breathe. As you pulled away, you heard a door open behind you. “Daddy!” You heard and moved aside just fast enough for your husband to catch the little girl running straight at him. She wrapped her little arms tightly around her father and hid her little face in his neck. “Hey peanut, you okay?” Spencer asked her. “I missed you, daddy.” The little girl answered. “Aw, I missed you too, sweetheart. Hey, mommy and Abby made cookies. Do you want to go see them?” Her dad then asked her. That caught Amy’s attention. She loosed her hold on her dad and turned towards you. “You made cookies without me?” Your little girl then asked you. Her big brown eyes and quivering lip almost broke your heart. “We did, but we still need to decorate them and we couldn’t possible decorate all those cookies by ourselves.” You told her, exaggerating a little, hoping it would prevent a tantrum. “Can daddy help?” Amy then asked. “Absolutely.” You smiled, happily knowing your family was together, healthy and safe. 

[missmarveledsblog]

It's only pretend right ? ( Bucky barnes x reader) part three

summary : kitty ( y/n) brings bucky to one of the spots in her life she can just breathe and take it all it , while the two enjoy the time alone soon realize that they been gone far too long get back only for bucky to take a tumble and learn more and more about her , he even get asked to bring her grandmother to church and a surprise shows up that makes her happy to be home

warnings : this is actually unlike me to have a tooth rotting fluff piece but i ain't mad at it , grammatical and spelling errors ( whats new)

previous part

Maybe it was the scenery , maybe it was the company  or even it was the both that had her instantly more calm more settled , the fresh green grass  , trees and  fields as she passed by was something she did miss even though the compound was surrounded by some trees and stuff it wasn’t like this . it wasn’t the great outdoor of home she always looked forward to .  The two stopped near the meadow just an hour from her house. She felt calmer being away from the judging gazes and comments, finally being able to breathe fully and it was like bucky could see the shift himself .

 “ You know they have no idea about who you are,” he spoke up.

 “I used to think they did , they used to make me doubt myself so much that when i was on my own I thought I was a disappointment so when i was left in big city i was afraid to come home, until I met fury  , he showed me I was worth something then I came on to the team and even more, I mean my dad's side they're awesome they let me know i'm loved , they tell me all time that their  proud of me” she smiled brightly. 

“ I understand you more” he nodded “ huh ? “ she felt herself suddenly doubt kicking in.

 “ Why you make everyone's day better, let them know their worth even when they don't themselves “ he smiled softly watching the horse move to the little river.

“ I make sure they never feel the way I once did,  sorry also I didn't know dickface was here” she grumbled . 

“ gotta be a specific doll” he chuckled .

 “ Good one but I was talking about my ex,” she laughed.

 “ He's the one who hurt you badly huh?” He knew of him , Knew it was bad but never pushed her to tell him .

 “ he left me in new york two days after arriving found him with another girl when I went go get my stuff out of hotel room and he didn't care like they waited for me to leave” she scoffed.

“Well  he never deserved you , he  screams of  what is it Parker says , small dick energy “ he mused as her laughter filled the meadow. The way the light hit her honestly looked like an angel,as he knew one week was gonna be hard , two was going to definitely kill him . 

 “You know I'm glad fury found me “ she sighed  flopping on to the ground staring up at the clouds above. 

“ As am I,  you know you still never told me that story either” he flopped down beside her .

 “ you make it  through these days without killing my family or ex and well then I'll tell you both stories “ she giggled .

 “ you got yourself a deal doll “ he held his hand out as she took it, sealing their deal 

 “ so Is this your spot , you know  that one spot that everyone has to feel free , The one that is just for them ” he asked, eyes watching her reaction. 

“ It's one of them only Jessie knows my real spot, the one I went to  as a kid when they would visit or when I had a tough time,  he’s the oldest and in the army  but he got leave so be here tomorrow ” she smiled softly.

“  Are you two  close?” he asked . 

“ He was the first best friend I've ever had and the first person I rang when I got both jobs then my dad” she smiled. 

“ I mean I love izzy and jack to death and we’re close too, we bond over different things , she is closer to  Jack ,twin thing “ she explained . He could listen to her rambles even for hour , days even and not get tired of sound of her voice .

“ I get what you mean doll” he held her hand and two just looked up at sky enjoying the comfortable silence. She even had a nap before the buzzing of her phone startled her seeing the sun setting .

 “ shit mama texting to say it almost time for dinner” she yawn as he stood holding his hand out for her to take pulling her up . “ just us and grandma “ she added .

“ the evil one?”.

“ The devil lady , she ain't so bad I mean she's quiet and grumpy and judges everything most of the time and ignores everyone. My dad convince she sold her soul to the devil to live forever hence the nickname , she’s had a few close calls ” she chuckled easily mounting her horse as bucky got up on the moon easier.

“ I would say race you but this one is too far gone” he chuckled as she walked a head and moon followed.  

“ I'll see if I can keep you guys together” she cooed to the horses . 

The sun completely set as the two pulled back up on the ranch. All the cars were gone meaning they were gone too . 

“ I can't believe this,” her dad stared as they approached.

 “ What are you about, old man?” she laughed.

 “ the rebel stallion walking like a show pony , you know he bucked Jack off” he said coming to the two .

“ he's misunderstood , hard at trusting but once he does , big softy plus jack in the box is annoying  “ she giggled, flickering a glance towards the man beside her.

 “ We think he's after star too “ bucky patted the stallion not realizing he was going to sneeze once horse head went down bucky tumble after hitting the ground with a thump.

“ shit bucky you ok “ she hopped down so quickly honestly her father never seen her move so fast  .

 “ is it dark enough that neither of you saw that” he groaned, eyes not  wanting to open. 

 “ it not even dark enough to hide the red of your cheeks son” her dad's hand slipped into Bucky's, pulling him off the ground.  

 These two stay together  from now on , you get in and rest that was quite a fall I'll check you over once I get these settled “ she called back .

“ come on son we get you in “ her dad led the super soldier in suppressing his laughter.

“ Are you ever gonna tell her how you feel?” he asked. “ I mean we're together “ he panicked.

“ I may be old but I ain't dumb  , plus the team clued me in “ he chuckled . 

“ steve?” He asked .

 “ he and Natasha , they rang three nights ago” , his words making Bucky stop. 

 I only found out last night.” His brows furrowed.

 “ she only found out that morning” he winked, heading into the house leaving the door open once the super soldier let the words sink in.  

“Come on before she kicks both our asses,she a cute little thing but shit never get wrong side of kitty ” he walked faster into the house as bucky followed . 

“ about time … wheres kitty “ her mother turned to see two men .

” Bucky here took tumble off the moon so she gone get them  set for night while I checked over lover boy here” he patted the man's vibranium arm . 

“ shit” bucky huffed. 

“ What's broken , we ain't got insurance for that '' her dad said  his first proper look at the metal arm he's only ever seen in pictures. 

"Nah the plates and calibration is out of whack ,makes it off” he explained lifting the glasses up and instantly smashing it. “ I can feel pressure with it “ he winced as they jumped at the sound of glasses shattering .

 “ hey who’s making a mess in here” she walked in seeing their worried expressions set on bucky . 

 What's wrong, do we need to go to the hospital?” she rushed in front of the man. Eyebrows furrowed as her face laced with worry checking him over. 

“ my arm just acting up” he smiled softly loving the doting attention she was giving him .

 “ Pop, can you get my tools please?” she asked softly .

 “ You need to take the arm off , I can clear the table” her mother rushed over .

 “ No, he doesn’t easily do it while on so he can feel it’s in the right balance” she shook her head . Bucky couldn’t help laughing when her father pushed in the heavy trolley neon purple in color.

 “ nice choice color doll” he winked making her chest flush.

“ Jessie and Jack got them for me” she rolled her eyes . 

“ She and my dad used to fix cars when she was growing up , little tiny thing picked quickly. I mean she was fixing engines to her daddy’s machines at 10” her mother chuckled.

“ Ok, you ready buckaroo?” she asked, opening the trolley. 

 as i’ll ever be” he saluted with his other hand.

Her parents watched as she was lost in her task. It was like watching her as a kid working with her grandfather again. While bucky was lost in her , just the presence of her alone.  “ ok …more or less” she asked as he flexed the metal appendages. 

“ nearly there a little more” .   He loved when she was this close, how he could see every detail of her face, little freckles that littered her cheeks, how he could enjoy the full beauty of the color of her eyes. When the tip of her tongue peaked out when she was fully concentrating on a task.

” ok how's that” she asked.

 “ Perfect thanks doll” he kissed her cheek . 

“ y-y-your welcome , food time” she turned so fast she felt dizzy but she was sure if it was his lips or smell of his cologne , the way she had to force her eyes to stay on task at hand or get lost in his beauty but boy did her knees feel weak. 

 “ kitty dear, could you get me a blanket” her grandmother asked . 

“ Yes grandma, which one ?” she asked softly. 

“ surprise me dear” she let a little smile on face. 

“ She needs to teach me to do that,” her father whispered to bucky. 

“ Mama is always sweet to the grandkids” her mother rolled her eyes.

 “Mr Barnes,  would you bring me to the church tomorrow? '' the elderly woman asked face showing nothing .

“ I can indeed ma’am” he nodded . 

“ Mama, he doesn’t know where it is, '' her mother protested.

 “ They got computers for that , thank you mr. barnes'' she nodded before bowing her head, not waiting any longer saying her own grace and tucking  into her food .  

“your immortal right” her dad Frank teased.  

“ Why, '' Bucky asked.

 “ Don’t mind him '' Beth's eyes rolled, swatting her husband as Y/N walked in with a flowery blanket. 

“ Perfect dear, thank you, '' her grandmother cooed. '' Bucky is taking me to church tomorrow” she added as the woman froze while sitting down. 

“ He doesn’t know where it is , we don't have a car here” she began. 

“ your fathers car and he’ll find the way” she dismissed easily.

 “ good luck, you know what buckaroo it was nice meeting you ” she gave him thumbs up dodging her mother swatting her . 

Once dinner was done and everyone was retired for the night, Bucky found her sitting on the porch looking up at the skies . 

“ i was wondering where you went to , nat is wanting to facetime” he held his phone up . 

“ ok park that ass” she patted the spot beside her. What they weren’t expecting was the team sitting in the living room, even Tony .

“ Hey you two, how did the first day go” nat asked . 

“ he survived the first day with the vultures” she joked.

 “ I went horse riding too,” Bucky beamed.

 “ fell off the horse too” she burst out laughing .

 “ last time i was one was the 40’s” he rolled his eyes but didn’t hide his loving glance at her laughing.

 “ Two weeks guys” she said as they all looked away from the camera. 

“ you haven’t had your vacation yet and neither has the cyborg so yes two weeks pretty girl” sam sassed. 

“ Hey little pyro you haven’t seen my black card have you” tony asked arching his brow.

 “ Remember that hug?” she asked . 

“Little shit , buy anything good even? ” he asked, chuckling.

 “ nah not yet might buy my horse a new saddle you know the luxury brand” she mused playfully.

 “ Her little accent is so cute , you can hear it more,” Wanda cooed.

 “ I dont have one , anyway funny find out you got my parents involved in the ploy” she asked softly. 

“ you both need a break ok so shut up and enjoy it , not much happening here anyways” nat rolled her eyes. 

“ I mean it is good to be home , just can’t wait til the rest of them leave, especially dick face” she huffed. 

“ What is your brother thinking?” Nat crossed her arms.

 “Honestly jack doesn’t think” a gruff voice called, making her head shoot right up.

“ JESSIE” She ran off the steps, almost knocking the man to the ground. 

“ her older brother is here i’ll ring you guys later” bucky hung up before standing up.

 “ Hey kitty, good to see you,” he smiled, holding her tighter to him . 

“You're supposed to be here tomorrow” she sniffled.

 “Hey they best be happy tears” he pulled her into a hug. 

“ very happy tears i missed you so much” she almost climbed into his arms .

 “ sergeant barnes” he saluted while still holding his sister close to him .

 “corporal” he saluted back .

 “ Are you being safe?” she asked, checking him over.

 “ I should be asking you that,” he arched his brow. 

“ I'm safe,” she smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes.

 “Sorry you had to deal with them today” he smiled sadly knowing his own family. 

“ s’okay i mean dad was there” she shrugged. 

“ They give her a hard time?” He looked to bucky.

 “  hey i’m right here i can handle it , how long's the leave for” she asked.

 “ It was a bit harsh,” Bucky smiled sadly.

 “ dickface saying anything? And I got two weeks, funny that ?  ” he asked. 

"No, I mean anytime he did Helen answered, even though she doesn’t like him and I didn't influence your leave ” she giggled. 

“ Jack just thinks her family should be there , her parents are gone so he’s all she has” Jessie rolled his eyes still not liking it hell he almost left his post to get her  in NewYork when he found out. 

“ Come on mama and papa haven’t been in bed long” she pulled the men into the house , she and bucky stood on the landing watching the reunion. She grabbed his arm when she saw her mother crying at the sight of her son making him move his arm lacing his fingers in hers . 

“I'm glad i didn’t miss this” she whispered seeing how happy her parents were.

 “ Me too,” he smiled, eyes locked on her , seeing how happy she was. 

part 4

taglist : @vicmc624

[sant-riley]

AAAAAAA IDEAAAAAAAAAH

Hi! I'm new here! I've come to bombard you with the idea of a parent of the reader's(most likely dad) showing up to the base out of nowhere.

Secret admirer,

-🐍

Omg I have my first ever emoji anon, Hi!! And yes absolutely I love this. I'm gonna try and be neutral with the parent in question so it's open to anyone :)

P.S idk how I used to format this shit I'm not checking Lmfao

[Task force 141 reacting to your parent/s showing up out of nowhere to visit]

If we're taking into account that this Simon and the og Simon have the same backstory,, its safe to say he doesn't have fond memories of his dad, though he has some for his mother.

Depending on your relationship between you and your parent/s, Ghost is either gonna point blank tell them they're not welcomed here. While Price IS above him, he isn't afraid to pull the intimidation and rank card to get them to get the hell out of there. Ghost was abused by his dad, God fucking forbid you were EVER treated poorly and he finds out.

However, even if your parent is kind, he still is uncomfortable by them being there. It makes his chest feel heavy watching you interact and it just brings up bitter memories he much rather not think of, so he won't linger around and instead go to the gun range and wait it out. He cares for you, and unfortunately, it won't ever really transfer over to your parents. Best he'd do is a stern nod and be on his way.

Soap, however, is very happy to introduce themselves and your parent swoons over his accent and likes him immediately, even if they're not the greatest of parents, Soap will make it a point to put his best foot forward and ask them if they'd want a tour.

If your mom is present she immediately likes him and isn't afraid to give you a look with an eyebrow raise saying "why aren't you dating him?". Don't get me wrong, though. He's not afraid to make smart comments and then joke it off. He's protective but not in your face kinda way.

He's definitely the type to sigh with relief when they're gone, complaining about small things he disliked about them to you openly (a lil bit of a hater but his mom raised him to not be rude to his elders okay.)

Doesn't matter who your parents are, Price intimidates them. He's the captain, and from what you've told them, he is extremely good at his job and he's a no nonsense leader, but you also mention that he's kind and he'd never leave one of his own behind.

Price talks EXTREMELY highly of you, he isn't afraid to clasp a hand on your shoulder and smile that stupid smile of his while he looks down at you in admiration.

It'd be most likely that he himself would have invited your parents without your know how, he has the ties and the authority but trust and believe if you expressed any discomfort with it, he'd rectify it and send them on their way.

Your parents may not like how particularly you close you are with such an older man but it's obvious he cares so much for you and your safety, so they take peace in that.

Gaz is probably the most easy going out of the 4, casually making conversation and if your parents are the type to play match maker, he's their #1 choice I'm not sorry, it's the truth.

Gaz sings your praises, mentioning time and time again that you've been such a good help on base and a good comrade and friend and he will thank your parents for raising you. (Imagine him taking off his hat and holding it to his chest or tipping it what if I swooned)

You KNOW he's invited to family dinners if he's ever in the area, or if he has no plans for the holidays, he's welcome at the family home. (You tell him later that he doesn't need to feel pressured but he just ruffles your hair and asks what kind of alcohol your family prefers)

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

JUST LIKE YOU

Pairings: Dad!George Weasley x Mum!reader Summary: your daughter is just like her father George Warnings: mentions the war and Fred's passing

you were helping Molly in the kitchen when you heard the loud giggles and laughs from outside, you looked up at the window and saw George and your little daughter playing together in the field.

you smiled as George picked her up and threw her up in the air before catching her.

you always knew George was gonna be a good father, and when you told him you were pregnant he was ecstatic and couldn't wait but he was also worried about the war approaching. even with the dark times coming that didn't stop him from being excited and help you in any way he could

but after Fred's passing he couldn't find it in himself to be excited, he realised he didn't know how to be a dad and that Fred wouldn't be there to fun of him or help him throughout the process, he didn't know what to do without him.

but then, your little angel came along and brought the smile on his face, a real genuine smile that nobody has seen in ages. and that smile hasn't gone away for 5 years.

she brought him the joy that he had lost since Fred died. and he loved her the most in the world, other than you.

he would constantly remind you that you meant the world to him and that he loved you for everything you did for him.

so when she was born, he looked down at her and saw her eyes, he saw the mischief to come and he smiled. he thought long and hard about what to name his little girl, and he decided on the name Fred wanted to name his girl if he had gotten the chance.

so he named her Chelsea.

Molly noticed you seemed distracted and followed your gaze. smiling herself when she saw her son and granddaughter together

Chelsea screaming in joy as George tickled her

Molly couldn't thank you enough for bringing the bundle of joy to the world to heal George

you went back to helping molly when George opened his little suitcase full of tricks.

"I'm almost done dear, you can go play with them" Molly said, you shook your head no, insisting on staying to help

"I leave the playing to them, I like watching it" you grinned as you set up the table

"dear there's nothing else you can do, it's all done" she huffed with a smile shooing out of the kitchen

"now go, I don't want my little Chelsea getting any broken bones! especially on her birthday" she spoke strictly

"what about George?" you chuckled

"oh please, he never listens to me" she rolled her eyes playfully

you walked out the back door at leaned against the tree near them

"ok I'm gonna throw the spark to you and you just gotta catch it, it won't hurt you, but it might tickle" George snickered

Chelsea giggled and nodded her head in response, putting her hands out for the spark George was holding and throwing in the air.

"daddy!" Chelsea whined, wanting the spark

"alright, sweetheart, are you ready?" George questioned mischievously

"Give it!" Chelsea yelled with glee

"what do we say when we want something?" George asked giving her a specific look

"Daddy can you please give me the spark?" she pleaded

"alright, I guess" George sighed in fake disappointment before throwing it in the air for her to catch.

she lifted her hands up for it and caught it before playing with it, throwing it in the air and jumping up and down excitedly

"daddy look!" she yelled looking at him

"good job, sweetheart!" he cheered

she grinned ear from ear before she noticed you leaning on the tree.

she ran up to you still playing with the spark

"Mummy! look, Daddy and I are playing with a spark, It doesn't hurt!" she giggled proudly of herself

she always wanted to play with George and his little tricks and things. and he wouldn't give her things that were dangerous, but now she's turning five he's going to let her explore a little bit more, letting her play with a few more things that were suitable for a little girl, under his supervision too of course.

she had the same look in her eyes that George did when he played pranks in school.

and she gets hyped up when George shows her something cool or talks about a new invention for the shop.

speaking of which, she begs George almost everyday to go down to work with him, but he's scared she'll break something or get pushed around because she's so little.

but on the odd occasion he'll bring her down and set her on the counter while he scans products that people are buying while Ron helps around the shop.

and with all her enthusiasm about jokes and pranks you know she'll be like her dad, and Fred, carrying on their legacy

you bent down to place a kiss to her head "well done, Chels"

George came up and stood beside you and she walked away from you a little, throwing the spark

"daddy! quick!" she yelled at him, she threw the spark and he caught it, throwing it back to her from behind his back

she laughed as she caught it

"she begged to do it, I couldn't say no" George shook his head amused.

he stepped behind you and wrapped his arms around your torso, leaning his chin on your shoulder as he watched your daughter

"well she's happy" you chuckled.

"daddy I'm gonna go show Nana" Chelsea screamed out before running off to the house

"that's probably not a good idea" you whispered, knowing Molly hates things like that in the house

he hummed in content as he placed a kiss on your shoulder

"hmm, you know mum can't say no to her" he said

you laughed in agreement. and began shaking your head

"what?" He questioned, standing up straight, letting you move in his arms.

you twisted around and looked at him lovingly

"nothing" you continued shaking your head with a big smile "she's just like you"

he grinned softly and put his lips on yours before you broke apart for him to speak

"and Fred"

before you could speak up again you heard Molly yell out for Chelsea's birthday dinner

"let me get the case" George said before walking to the spot him and your daughter were before you showed up, he picked up the case and went back up to you, holding your hand before dragging you into the home

you walked in and saw the birthday girl running around the living room, the spark still in her hand

"daddy! here" she threw it in the air, he opened the case and let it go in, putting it away for the day

he put the case on the couch and picked her up, bringing her to you as he kissed her cheek

"dada stop it" she scrunched her nose you kissed her other cheek and walked to the table where the whole family somehow sat down together

"here's the birthday girl!" George beamed before sitting her down then taking a seat beside you, holding your hand that rested on your lap

you rested your head on his shoulder and sighed happily and she giggled as Bill tickled her sides

you glanced up at George and knew you would tell him you were expecting again tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------

[an-gothamite-aka-zannalial]

Duke Canonically ( I think ) kick green lentern ass when he enter the bat cave, cause Batman say that no one allowed to enter it when he gone. So to Duke it mean kick anyone ass who enter it ( he not wrong tho )

In my opinion, this shows that he is a person who obeys the rules, no matter what other people's reasons are for breaking them, he will still do what he is told to do.

So I thought it would be funny if Duke would kick the ass of anyone who came to Gotham during the day without permission, anyone who was a meta, hero, anti-hero, vigilante, villain, who wasn't a bat or have permision would be kicked by him.

You know typical ' no meta in gotham rule '

Superman: *just come to ask Batman for help during another end of the world weekly

Signal: *Appears out of nowhere carrying a kryptonite sword and Flashlight

Superman: oh hey can you put that down

Signal: only if you leave, Batman is busy now so you better leave Gotham or I'll make you

Superman: I think you misunderstand My arrival here

Signal: Nuh uh I don't care just leave

Signal: *kick his the shit out of Superman and throw him to Zeta tub

After that Superman Make sure he asked Batman's permission before coming

Green Arrow: this gonna be fine I'm not meta I'm not meta *Convincing himself it would be okay

Signal: no the rule is outdated to much at this point

Green Arrow: I- I just here to

Signal: leave before become like your friend

Green Arrow: okay okay okay

In the end he still get kicked cause not leave under 5 minute

Flash (barry): this just short trip I swear,I'll leave after some extra minute please *just want to search Wally who Disappear

Signal: leave now before I leak your email address, group chat, Home address, photos from your emo phase, photos of you drunk, and videos of you failing your driver's license test to every Hero in the world

Flash: you can't-

Signal: I can and I will

He finally leave cause scared, and Duke actually blackmail cause he not sure he can take down a speedster. Wally really hang out with dick lmao

Martian manHunter: I'll leave just give me-

Signal: no *Holding a lighter and gasoline to scare him

Martian manHunter: uhhmm

Signal: leave

He ultimately left because he had to, even though his initial intention was only to give Batman an invitation to the league party

Aquaman: I'm promise I just here for

Signal: *already hold everything that can us as blackmail

He get kicked in the end lmao, And also humiliated at the next league meeting

Bonus:

JL: bats your kids is

Batman: yeah he doing good job I proud of him, this is the first time one of my child really obey the rule and not break

JL:

Batman: *proud dad noise

[reidsc0nverse]

A Rose by Any Other Name (Chapter One)

Summary: Reader has her first day at the BAU in training to take JJ's place on maternity leave. She gets comfortable around the office with the help of her father Davis Rossi and the other members of the team, especially one specific genius.

Warnings: None

AN: This is my first real try at this idea that's been collecting dust in my brain, so far this chapter doesn't have a whole lot and it's mainly intro to the character but yeah. Also reader doesn't have Rossi's last name fyi and she's taking Jordans place in season 4 but they're not the same I promise.

Series Masterlist

---------------------༺⚘༻---------------------

   Well, I knew the time was coming, just not so out of the blue.

   I was training under the Communications Liaison of the BAU today, Jennifer Jareau, due to the fact that she's leaving for maternity leave soon. 

  It was only a matter of time before my dad, him being THE David Rossi, pulled some strings to get me to that spot despite me barely finishing the academy. I mean, I rocked it, but they usually want someone of more...experience in a position as such.

But here I am, walking through the doors of the bullpen and Jennifer walking up to me with a friendly smile.

"Ah! Agent Y/L/N, glad to see you," she said cheerily, holding her hand out for me to shake it.

"You too" I say returning the gesture and trying to keep my composure and maintain the same cheeriness as her, but failing.

"Nervous?" She asks, seeing through me with ease but continuing to keep her friendliness and walking me to her office.

"No of course not" I say sarcastically with a playful smile on my face as we enter in the room filled with a vast amount of case files.

She motions for me to sit across from her at the desk and laughs softly, "Don't worry, after your first couple of cases it gets easier..ish." 

"I just hate the part of the job that involves dealing with the press" I admit, with the stuff I've heard from my dad I can understand the stigma around journalists and outside sources.

"Tell me about it, but you'll get the hang of it, it's usually just repeating yourself after a while." She replies and we continue to discuss more about the details of the job and what I'm gonna have to do in the next weeks. 

"Alright enough of this, everyone should be here by now. I'll introduce you to everyone." She says and we get up and out where three agents stand talking.

"Hey guys, I want to introduce you to someone. This is Agent Y/N Y/L/N. She'll be taking over for me while I'm on maternity leave." She says and I smile at the three that Jennifer has described to me.

I go to shake their hands, "You must be Agent Prentiss, Agent Morgan, and Dr. Reid." They all return smiles to me, "Agent Jareau has told me so much about you all."

"La mia bambina!" I hear a familiar voice say as I look over to see my dad, his arms stretched out and pulling me as he kisses my cheek. 

"Hi dad." I say sheepishly, my face burning as the agents in front of me furrow their eyebrows. 

"Dad?" Prentiss says and continues, "Does your last name come from wife number 2 or 3?" she jokes and Morgan laughs in response.

My dad waves them off and looks back to me, "Training start today?" I nod and he holds me with his arm over my shoulder. "Yeah if you can let me go I can finally start" I joke with him and he lifts his arm in response.

"Yeah Rossi, I'd like to get her started with that." Jennifer says playfully as I wave once again to the others when she brings me with her to look over a case before bringing it to the team.

"I may have forgotten to mention that part to them," She says, looking at the file in her hand. "Oh, what? That Rossi's my dad?" I ask, her nodding and I continue, "No worries, I don't think he's ever even brought up having a kid. One that he knows about at least. We haven't been that close in all honesty." I explain to her. It's really no big deal to me, he wasn't very present in my childhood but as I've gotten older, he's put in a lot of effort to be a part of my life even if it's a little late. Hence, my place at the BAU.

We spend the next hour going over cases and she guides me on how they decide where to go and whether or not the risk of more lives being lost is prominent. Once we settle on one she lets out a breath, "Alright let's take a break, I need to stop staring at all of this" she says motioning to the abundance of cases on the desk. I nod in agreement smiling and make my way to the break room for a cup of coffee.

"Agent Y/L/N, right?" I hear someone say as they walk in. I turn my head and see the tall stature of Dr. Reid.

"Yes, yeah. Hi." I say, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing. He walks over and waits next to me with his empty mug. "But I don't really care about formal titles, you can just call me Y/N."

"Okay, Y/N. You can call me whatever, Spencer, Reid, I don't mind." He says gently and continues, "Rossi never mentioned he had a daughter. Let alone one coming onto the team."

"Temporarily" I remind him, but it's more to myself, "but I don't know how often he really wants to talk his personal life." I say lightheartedly and the coffee finally fills up my cup and I move over to let him use the machine.

Spencer shrugs and begins to make his own, "How long have you been in the FBI?"

At this I get nervous to respond, you can be as young as 23 to get into the FBI, but the BAU needs prior experience. But of course, my dad rushed the process some. "Well, uh, I kind of just finished the academy. I'm only 24 so there hasn't been much room for familiarity."

He looks at me with a slight surprise in his face, "Really? I mean if it makes you feel any better I started here as soon as I could. So in reality, you don't need all that much prior experience in the FBI to work here."

"Aren't you like, a genius though?" I laugh, Jennifer did tell me that about him.

He laughs and nods, "Well..you know what I mean. They make exceptions."

"Yeah, I suppose"

"Are you interested in profiling?"

"I only just recently figured that out." I laugh and explain further, "Psychology has always intrigued me and that's what I majored in, so once my dad figured that out he kinda shoved me into this field." I say, doing an exaggerated push motion absentmindedly.

He smiles and nods, "I think you should go for it, after this whole liaison thing of course, I wish you luck." He says and waves as he walks out. In that moment I can feel my face flush slightly, it wasn't that big of a deal but I guess I just wasn't expecting that sort of kindness on my first day.

I shake my head slightly and walk back to where Jennifer and I previously were.

She was already back on her side of the desk and reading a file, looking up she points at my cup, "Good thinking" she smiles and I take my seat again.

"I'd hate to think about how much coffee is drank in this building." I joke.

"Probably enough to supply a small country." she laughs and goes on, "Alright so I think you're pretty much all done for now, I don't think you'll be able to join us on the case but you can just get yourself used to the team if you want."

I nod and the day goes by with loads of 'how to's' around the office and in the perks of Jennifer's job. Sooner than later I get to go home and I get my stuff packed up and walk in the elevator.

The doors start to close but before it shuts completely, I see Spencer rush towards the elevator and I hold them open for him.

"Sorry- sorry." He says awkwardly as he gets in next to me. "How was your first day?"

"It was new. That's for sure. Just a whole lot of information on what I need to do." I say, fidgeting with my hair slightly.

"I'm not sure how much I can do, but if you need anything I know anyone on the team will help" He reassures me, and i smile back. "Thanks, really. I appreciate it."

"Of course." He smiles and the elevator opens up leading to the parking lot. "I'll see you later." He says and I smile back walking to my car.

I can feel the pink in my cheeks when I sit in the front seat and drive home.

I think I'm gonna like my time here.

---------------------༺⚘༻---------------------

okay chapter two will be out sometime between today and next week I hope y'all like it so far ik it's not a lot but give it some patience lols

[egg-emperor]

Also gotta love how Eggman continues to never once worry and fuss about Sage's safety when she jumps in and protects him

From letting her fight off the G.U.N helicopters,

letting her go on a snicide mission in the old ending,

to standing behind her in the face of danger the Final Horizon teaser like a reverse of how Sonic typically shields Tails,

to letting her protect him from the line of fire in the new version of the ending.

It's almost like the fanon of him being a super caring worrying protective father figure that will protect her with his life, begs for her not to get into danger and commit violence for him, or tells her to "just go" and leave him behind to succumb when he's in danger isn't accurate to the game at all.

And it's almost like, I dunno... Eggman actually specifically created her to protect him or something... and wants her to actually fulfill her function, which he says himself and is the specific reason he praises her every single time he does in the base game and update lol

"I developed you to protect me"

"Sage has been crucial to my survival *lists the ways she has aided/protected*"

*Praises her for her loyalty and efficiency in doing as she was created and told to*

I mean man, there's not a single thing about their dynamic that the most popular fanon gets right about them but I'm just happy that the canon is way better so I'm not going to ever subject myself to it again.

The only way Eggman could be overprotective in any way in actual canon is through being jealous of Sage giving anyone else the attention and admiration he wants. As he'd want to stop that and protect her from admiring Sonic and any potential influence he could have on her, and protect her praise and value of himself so she doesn't stray from it when that loyalty and efficiency is valuable and rare in his creations.

So it would be a lot more toxic and messed up way than the generic cutesy protective caring-about-their-safety-too-much dad way, along with how it's actually a total reverse and role swap of that anyway as she's meant to get into danger and protect him from it. Which is very fitting with how their dynamic isn't supposed to be pure and innocent and actually "unsettling" as Flynn said.

And we actually do see him getting jealous and pissed over seeing her admiring Sonic so hey 👀

That's the type of "overprotective Eggdad" I really wanna see, where he's being jealous and possessive over her attention and admiration as her creator and father. Not protecting her from danger, as that's supposed to be her job for him.

Also, it would tie in with how he was jealous of Maria getting attention he felt entitled and greedy for instead as a child. Especially with how I headcanon that he thinks taking pride in Sage and showing her off as an impressive life like loyal efficient creation will help him get some of the same attention Maria got as he compared Sage to her, which would lead to recognition of his brilliance as her creator, so he can finally get a piece of that pie.

But when his perfect creation is the one that gives his arch nemesis the kind of attention and admiration he wants her to give him and help bring to him instead... Yeah, he's gonna get pissed off and protective of that attention, admiration, and loyalty of hers as it should go only to him. And his reaction and attitude when he sees her admiring Super Sonic is very fitting for it!

[withgavi]

"Come on Gavi, run faster. They're behind you." Coach Alex yelled over to the young boy. He was right, he lost the ball, again.

Gavi turned around while shaking his head, he hasn't played a good pass in a week, what's up with him?

"Guys, we'll stop the training for now. I have some announcements to make." Alex yelled over the whole field and Gavi waited for Ansu so they could walk back together.

He jogged over to Gavi and then they turned around while they started to walk to the bench.

"What do you think this is about?" Gavi asked Ansu, curiously, maybe he knew the answer.

"Nah, man no idea." He shrugged his shoulder and Gavi didn't say anything else and as they all looked at Alex, he asked them to sit down.

So they did, they all sat down on the grass and then saw you walk over to Alex. you said hi to him and Alex looked at his watch.

"You're on time!" He laughed as he looked at you.

"Of course I am, I'm never late." You chuckled and looked at the youngsters sitting on the grass.

You scanned every single face trying to keep them apart, boys in this young age all looked alike.

"So, guys, as you all know, I'll give up my career as a coach." Alex began and Gavi and Ansu looked at eachother. "So I would like to interduce your new coach. I think she wants to interduce herself tho, so the stage is yours." Alex said and you stepped forward a bit. You felt their eyes piercing holes into your body.

"Hey, as you guys already know, I'll be your new coach. My name is Y/n, but please just call me Y/n/n and I'm looking forward to the new season ahead of us and I'm excited to train with you guys!" You said and Gavi looked at you, you were wearing a tight Barcelona shirt with even tighter shorts.

Even looking at you made Gavi feel a way that he wasn't supposed to feel towards his coach.

"Are there any question towards Y/n?" Alex looked around but they all shook their head, except for Eric.

"Can you tell us about yourself, a bit further into detail?" He asked but Gavi shook his head as he scoffed.

"Um yeah sure. I'll sit down too and then we're gonna get to know eachother a bit better." You said and sat down, before you did, you looked at Alex quickly.

"I'll get going, I'll leave you guys alone. Bye." Alex waved at them as he left and then all the eyes were on you again.

"So, ask away!" You held up you hands in the air and of course Eric asked the first question.

"How old are you?" He asked and you couldn't help but to smile a bit.

"Hold on, I'm 18. I just realized that I don't even know you guys names. So please tell me, can you start?" You laughed a bit and pointed at Angel who was pretty much sitting next to you.

Gavi looked at every single one of your movements carefully, afraid to even close his eyes because he'll miss something.

"I'm Angel." He started and so did everyone else say their names. After you heard them all, you went back to the question.

"Do you have a boyfriend and whats his name?" Julio asked and you smiled again.

"Yes I do and his name is Lucio." You kept on smiling as you answered all of the questions they had for you. The team talked to you like you were a friend of them and that's one thing everyone liked about you, you were easy to be friends with.

"How is it possible that a woman is training us?" Ansu then asked because he was a bit confused.

"Because, I don't know, I signed up for this job and got accepted. It just happens." You said and it made many of them laugh. Gavi kept smiling at you as everyone around him went quiet, and then Gavi had another question.

"Where do you come from?" The 16 year old brunette asked and you raised your brows a bit.

"I'm from here, I grew up in Barcelona and my dad is also friends with Xavi, the guy who used to play for the first team. I'm sure everyone here knows him right?" You looked around and as you already said, everyone agreed.

You kept talking for a little while before you told the team to go back to playing, however, since Gavis team was missing one player you decided to play too. You played as a defender and you gave some pretty good passes.

Gavi looked at you, concentrating on your movements.

You weren't a bad player overall, Gavi guessed that you got bored one time and dribbled past all the opposite teams players.

Everyone laughed about that but the only thing Gavi could focus on was your body. Gavi may be going through puberty right now but that isn't normally like this. Normally it's that not that bad that he has the urge to jerk off everytime I look at her.

Being 16 is hell, and having this woman around is even more hell. "Gavi, you still have to play." You yelled at him and he suddenly snapped back from his thoughts. He realized that he was staring at you the whole time. Fuck.

Lucky for him, you didn't notice that his eyes were all over your body.

"Come on." You clapped your hands together and Gavi took the ball and ran with it, he dribbled past of some of his friends and then passed the ball to Ansu and he scored.

Gavi celebrated with him and then looked back at you. You gave him a quick thumbs up and then the game went on.

After training was over you called the team together one last time. They all sat down in a circle again while you were standing up.

"So, I just wanted to give you guys a little warning. I like to get along with you guys and make jokes and whatever but it won't be this nice next time. Because when I'm nice people don't do what I say. I hope you guys understand that." You smiled while rubbing your hands together.

Nobody said anything so you asked again. "So is it fine for everyone if we keep being friends besides from practice?" You asked and everyone nodded or said yes.

You then smiled and then clapped your hands together. "Okay, guys you did amazing thanks so much for this awesome first practice and see you guys tomorrow, I think at the game, right?" You looked around, searching for someone nodding their head.

"Yeah at the game" Eric said and you nodded with a smile on her face.

"Alex will be your coach and that's his last game as a coach so win it okay?" You told them and looked at their faces.

"Okay, have a nice night" They all stood up and dabbed you up, then Gavi walked over to Fermin.

"Hey, so what do you think of her?" Fermin asked and Gavi looked at him.

"Can I be honest bro?" Gavi leaned closer to him while he whispered.

"Yeah, please." He also leaned closer to him.

"She's stupidly hot." Gavi said in all honesty and Fermin smiled at him, he pushed him back a bit and then turned to look at Ansu.

"Ay Ansu, guess what Gavi told me." Fermin yelled out to Ansu who was walking behind the two boys to the locker rooms.

"Oooh what?" Ansu came went to them, running.

"Nothing, shut the fuck up" Gavi hit the back of Fermins head and then walked off with a straight face. He went into the locker room and went straight to the shower.

He quickly got changed afterwards and then went into my room again. "Brother." He said exhaused as he let himself fall on the bed. Gavi was still annoyed by Fermin, that didn't change a bit, but he was too exhausted to even think about him.

Gavi then looked at the clock and saw that it was around 10pm. He quickly went to brush his teeth and then got changed. Fermin came back eventually and he went to his bed immediately.

"Are you still upset?" Fermin looked at the 16 year old in front of him, however, Gavi shook his head as he sat down in front of him.

"I'm not, don't worry, just if I tell you stuff don't tell that any to other people." Gavi took off his shirt because he wanted to wear another one.

Fermins eyes scanned his upper body as he was still smiling about Gavis comment.

"Ay bro you're getting buff." Fermin smiled as he looked at Gavi's stomach.

"Right?" he smiled while flexing his abs and Fermin laughed. He then took out a loose barcelona shirt and pulled it over his head.

"Okay bro I'll go to sleep. Night" Fermin gave him a look and then I walked back to my bed too.

"Night." Gavi mumbled and turned the lights off.

-

"Gavi," Fermin woke him up and Gavi opened his eyes almost it cu w ntog face after being almost immediately. A shocked expression could be seen on the brunettes face after woken up by his bestfriend.

"Yeah?" He asked with a raspy morning voice. He looked at Fermin and he chuckled.

"Today is the game, get up, Alex and Y/n want to talk to us." He shook Gavi's body with his hand again and then Gavi finally sat up.

"Hey, can I come in?" They both heard you

knock on the door and Fermin looked at Gavi. He was only wearing his boxers but he as covered with a blanket up to hiels waist. He looked back at the door and then yelled

"Yeah, come in" He said and then you opened the door almost immediately. You walked inside and stopped before Gavi and Fermin. Your gaze shifted from him to the floor, you looked down on the floor and saw a phone down there. You bent down to pick it up and then handed it to Gavi. As Gavi grabbed the phone he didn't break eye contact

"You guys get ready, be downstairs in the community room 3 in 15 minutes. Hurry up, get out of bed." You said and walked off again. Gavi's only thoughts however were: Fuck, he can't get out of bed now.

"I'Il get going, I'll see you downstairs." Fermin flashed him a look and Gavi nodded in response, thank god he was leaving, so he doesn't have to see how hard Gavi is by you just bending over.

"Okay" Gavi mumbled and then as soon as the blonde walked out the door Gavi went to lock it immediately and sat back into his bed. He grabbed some tissues and then pulled down his boxers.

''Gavi, on the spot." You smiled as soon as you saw him sit down and the boy just nodded. If only you knew what he had been doing.

Everyone else was already there, watching Alex and you standing in the front of the room.

Nobody was talking, they were all waiting for the two of you to give instructions.

"Thank you everyone for coming, and sorry for waking you guys up so early." Alex began "Today is match day, we're gonna go eat together and then you have three hours of spare time. Then be downstairs at the main door because we'll be going with a bus. Y/n is also coming with us is that right?" Alex leaned to look at you but you just shook your head.

"I'Il be there but I won't be on the bus, it's not sure tho. I might be." You said and Gavi looked at

Fermin who was smiling at him. Gavi wasn't quite as amused as Fermin since he was going pretty much on his nerves. "If I can't be on the bus out of whatever reason Y/n will be there, that's for sure. So, does anyone have any questions left?" Alex clapped his hands together as they all shook their heads. "Good, see you guys later."

'You ready?" Ansu went over to Gavi and

stubbed his arm slightly with his elbow.

"Always." Gavi smiled back at Ansu as they went in first and walked to the very back of the bus.

To their surprise, You were sitting there, you had her legs crossed while you were looking at your phone, no idea that Gavi and Ansu were staring at you.

"Hey" Ansu said and sat down, he left an empty space next to you which Gavi gathered rather quickly.

'Hello, fit and ready?" You looked at the both of them and then at Fermin too who sat down next to Ansu. Since you were sitting at the very edge of the round sofa, Gavi was the only person sitting next to you. However as he was gifted with the warmth of your body, he had a very bad view of you since he had to twist his neck every time.

You then looked at Diego who sat down in front of you, on the other end of the sofa. "Are you ready too?" You asked to include him too and he nodded a bit

Diego had a crush on you, atleast that's what went around under the boys during breakfast. Diego told Angel and Angel told everyone, although Diego is the one to blame. Eveybody knows that nobody shouldn't tell secrets to Angel, he can't keep a damn thing to himself.

"Oh he sure is excited" Ansu laughed but Fermin just looked at Gavi, again. What the heck is he looking at now. Those were Gavi's only thoughts as he looked back at his blonde teammate. Getting just more and more annoyed with him.

Gavi looked at you, he couldn't notice but that you kind of seemed confused. "Why are you saying that?" You asked as you looked at Ansu with a small smile. Ansu's smile only grew while.Gavi was betting that Diego just wanted to disappear into thin air.

"Oh, nothing" Ansu burst out laughing and then put his forehead on Fermins shoulder.

"Okay." You said and then went back to your phone again. You were texting the whole ride, the guy named Lucio, Gavi guessed.

He took some glances at you while you weren't looking and damn. Lucio must he lucky in Gavis opinion. He however would have never admitted that he had a crush on her, he basically didn't either. It was just that you looked really pretty in Gavis eyes.

"Okay, I think we're here." You stood up as soor as the bus came to a halt. Gavi however had some trouble keeping his eyes to himself.

As you stood up and began making your way down the corridor of the bus to the exit your hips swayed side to side. Although you didnt want it to seem like too much Gavi could have sworn his mouth started to water as soon as his jaw dropped Gavi was fighting himself to disappear to do some...things.

''Gavi come on" Fermin grabbed the young boys shoulder and pulled him up as they left the bus.

They were standing in front of their famous Stadium and Gavi's eyss caught you walking over to a man.

He opened his arms for you and you immediately went in to hug him. The worst part about that was, that you looked up at him to kiss him too. It wasn't bad for you, but for Gavi who was watching this whole scene unfold.

He felt his jaw clench and his fists balled up next to his legs as the young brunette looked at you and your boyfriend. Something inside of him was rumbling and falling over. If Gavi would have known what, he would have done something against it.

But before he could have punched that dickhead next to you, Pau Cubarsi walked over to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"Ay Hermano, let's go Alex is already inside with the others. Cubarsi pointed to the door where the locker rooms were and Gavi teared his eyes off of you and your boyfriend.

So as the two youngsters went inside, you and your boyfriend followed only seconds after. "Who was that guy who was staring at me?" Your boyfriend asked.

"I don't know, I didn't see anyone staring at you." You responded in a whisper while you shrugged your shoulders. You didn't think about it as much as you should have because Gavi heard what your boyfriend told you and made a mental note to himself to be more careful next time.

He couldn't stand the thought of you being close to another men, or just you being touched by other men drove him crazy. He didn't know what he felt but he was confused for sure.

[milogreer]

so uhh this is gonna be scatterbrained. but i'm gonna ramble about milo and (what little info we have on) colm. sorry in advance if it doesn’t make sense i just had to exorcise this demon 🫡

i believe "camping with your alpha boyfriend (2021)" is the earliest mention of colm in an audio. obviously we don't actually know milo's side of things because it's told from david's POV, but we still get the mental image of little thirteen year old milo sitting shotgun in his dad's pickup as they drive to their camping spot. gabe's goofing around in the truck bed to make david and asher laugh, and colm joins in the fun by swerving the truck to mess with gabe. very basic dad thing to do, my dad's done the exact same thing to me and my siblings. it feels familiar and silly, and david frames it as a good memory, so it feels like a good memory. which is important to the point of this post

in "celebrating the new house (2022)," we get a little more colm lore:

My dad was forever blowing any cash he made on fucking bets and gambling and shit, chasing some fucking high. My mom was the only reason we didn’t end up out on the fucking street. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass and get some help until after I’d already moved out. So I never got to have that feeling of being in a house that was actually ours, ya know?

already this is a stark contrast to what we've previously heard of colm (i don't think there's any real mention of him between sept 2021 and dec 2022?) and it kinda makes me look at that old memory in a different light, especially with regards to david saying marie was "nagging [colm's] ear off about being irresponsible and a bad example." like. ykwim? like i'm just thinking about that interaction and wondering how far along those problems were at the time, if they were present at all. was this a normal, fun family outing? or would milo have rather been in the truck bed with david, asher, and gabe?

(and the fact that it wasn't until after milo moved out that colm tried getting any help?? i could make a whole other post speculating about milo struggling with wanting to move out of that environment ASAP vs not wanting to leave marie on her own to deal with colm)

so then i'm re-listening to "your werewolf boyfriend is worried about you" and having a visceral reaction to (re-)learning that colm was also an alcoholic:

But what he chose to do with that frustration and that feeling of powerlessness was not his job’s fault, those were his choices. He’s the one who decided to lose himself in booze and gambling and never being home. Never being there for the people he said he loved but apparently couldn’t stand to be around.

the last sentence especially is just an absolute heartbreaker because milo's, what, thirty now? and he's been dealing with this since he was a kid. clearly he's not on great terms with colm. the only times he ever talks about him is when he's shit talking the department. that is a crazy weight for someone to carry their whole life. i don't have experience with the gambling side but i do have an alcoholic family member who i used to be really close to as a kid but grew up to intensely resent as a result of his actions, so it hits a little close to home to see that reflected in milo

but i digress. umm. i bring up the camping story to highlight the most recent mention of colm from milo and how there were good times and sometimes maybe it hurts to remember them when the person involved devastated you as you grew up because they weren't what you thought they were. and how these things follow you through life and impact how you approach certain things. milo has to live with the fact that the same system that royally fucked colm is potentially going to do the same thing to the love of his life; i never drink more than one shot or half a beer, if i drink at all, and i don't like being around drunk people. even though we don't hear about colm very often, his influence is still there whenever milo has to deal with the department in any way

anyway i guess TLDR; imagine living the majority of your thirty years of life feeling like your dad couldn't stand to be around you because he was too busy drinking himself stupid and gambling away every penny he had as a way to deal with the strain that his job put on him. imagine having to witness your mom struggle constantly to keep you cared for. imagine the few good childhood memories you have with your dad being overshadowed by thinking he didn't love you or your mom enough to change. imagine watching the department run your soulmate into the dirt physically and mentally the same way it did your father and wanting to be supportive of them but also being so worried for them. it's a really interesting situation for him to be in and i enjoy it but it hurts me. the end