#he pulled up his bible app on his ipad and told me my deceased mother would be disappointed when I tried to come out nearly 10 years ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gxlden-angels · 2 years ago

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Throughout all of this, I never thought about the potential for my family members to also deconstruct/leave fundamentalist christianity, even if they remained a more progressive christian in the end

#I came out to my dad this weekend and he took it like #scarily well #specifically as trans. I'm still figuring out sexuality and also he doesn't need to know all that lol #this man used to punish me for *not* wanting to spend his money on clothes and hair styling #he pulled up his bible app on his ipad and told me my deceased mother would be disappointed when I tried to come out nearly 10 years ago #and we didn't really talk about it after that until now #He's still a christian but he hasn't gone to our church since the pandemic started since we moved houses #then I left for college #so he didn't really have a reason to travel 45 mins to keep going to that specific church #his father still does though and is as extreme as he always was #if not more since he sees more/is getting sick so he's holding onto religion more #We lived with his father for a few years and I think we both started to see how extreme that life was there #cause that's also where I started deconstructing #I don't think he's ever going to leave christianity completely like I did #and I'm willing to pretend to be one for him #but he's significantly calmer now #and said he honestly just wants me to be able to survive and be happy even after he's gone #he even knew when pride month was and helps decorate at work #though that's not really by choice since it's a part of his job #but yea I came out to him as trans and he's okay with it. he just wants me to be happy. we aren't gonna tell his father tho #or his mother for that matter though she has the gentler calm nature that my dad inherited #it's been a journey seeing him reconcile with that from my end since it was usually something with me that made him rethink things #he's at a point where he cares much more about seeing me happy than being 100% perfect for Jesus. He doesn't need to be perfect either #I'm still processing all of it ngl. He even accepted the little resource bag I made for him #n e ways thanks for reading my little ramble about coming out and seeing my dad leave fundamentalism for a gentler christianity #that makes both of us happier both now and in the long run #I never really considered the possibility of that happening #next step: coming out to my mom's side of the family. tho I might just let them figure it out like the rest of my dad's side

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