#also to be fair some of the specific kits are quite fun

[abalidoth]

god made me nonbinary for the same reason that a big ol bucket of undifferentiated Legos is always way more fun to a kid than a kit where you build some specific diorama of a media property

[azure-galaxies-gallery]

Muse: Yuelong!

Yuelong is a Vidyadhara more than past his prime - in fact, he's been putting off his rebirth for long enough to begin showing signs of mortal aging, a strange sight among the ever-young immortals of the Xianzhou. I do write him with canon ties to the High Cloud Quintet, but if you have one of them as a muse and just want to see them interact with him without the weight of past knowledge, just let me know! I'd also have fun with that. I like this very sad tired old dragon man quite a bit. I also usually write him as parental to Bailu! I very much like this one, but, y'know. If you want to just be a Bailu encountering Yuelong,,, feel free. Fair warning he might still try to adopt you. In fairness if children are left unattended for long enough around him he does sort of adopt them. his kid now. Yuelong is a reincarnation of the High Elder of the Xianzhou Cangcheng, and thus has a pretty high power level and... Well a lot of backstory regarding the Cangcheng that I usually have to make up as I go (plaguemark... specialties... anything about day to day life beyond having a specific type of plum blossom...).

Below the cut is a drawing I've done of Yuelong you can use for reference, as well as an additional cat cake form because I like making cat-cakes for my dear OCs. and here is a link to Yuelong's full OC form. Um. There is A Lot. I've dropped his not-so-brief backstory below the cut if that's all you want to see because I go a little insane over OC forms. but if what you want is all the nitty gritty and the meta stuff i made up by mashing kits together until it felt right, check out the link! and hey. psst. do you want a curated playlist of yuelong vibes?? do you just want some emo music?? here, i offer to you. the four hour oc playlist i made for yuelong because i'm so normal about him,,,

Yuelong is the reincarnation of the Cangcheng’s Vidyadharan High Elder. Left adrift and without a ship or plaguemark, Longfei accompanied several of the Cangcheng survivors to the Luofu. He reincarnated into Longmei, then reincarnated again, Yuelong stepping from the waters. He was raised by the Preceptors, kept isolated for much of his younger years. He was expected to mimic Longmei, his predecessor - to be calm, elegant, and serene at all times. A gentle rain, instead of the fierce storm trapped inside him. He learned to not express his emotions, to keep everything hidden - to be soft-spoken and ever-gentle, to only ever work and pretend and not live. He learned to bite back his first instinct, to push down anything negative. He learned to bottle everything up until he could slip away, swim to the furthest point of Scalegorge Waterscape, and release a storm that no one else could push through, to scream and cry into the winds until everything felt manageable again. Perhaps that would’ve been his entire life - a mask, a title, forgetting what he wanted in favor of what others asked of him, of screaming into storms what no one else could hear - had Jingliu not reached out and inquired about a healer with the ability to defend himself, so Dan Feng could focus wholly on the battlefield. Yuelong, dreaming of the stars and freedom and seeing the Beauty of the world, answered the call, stepping into the role of the High Cloud Quintet’s healer with grace. He remained aloof, at first, adhering strictly to his Preceptor’s teachings, until the craftsman and the pilot took him aside. Yuelong slowly began to open up - though he remained reserved and aloof in public settings, he began to slip away from his Preceptors more often than not - either accompanying other Quintet members, or disappearing into Yingxing’s forge. For the first time in his life, Yuelong had a taste of normalcy, and he held it tight to his chest. But of course… Nothing lasts forever. Despite his best efforts, Yuelong could not save Baiheng (she was dead by the time he landed at her side, he knew it, but - if he had been faster, if he’d been stronger, if he’d just tried a little harder-). But death was a part of life - he knew this. Baiheng had died how she’d lived - living, loving, protecting. There was Beauty in that, wasn’t there? It hurt, of course it did, but… Yuelong could accept it. He had to. A healer cannot save every patient - only try their best.

He tried to express this to his friends, only for Dan Feng to lash out against him. Yuelong told himself they only needed time. He was wrong. The storm that raged in Scalegorge Waterscape as the beast (his friend, that thing had been made from his friend, from Baiheng, who had reached out to him with such earnest kindness-) was something only Dan Feng could’ve made. Yuelong, with a heavy heart, stepped into the storm. Drew it into himself with every step, clearing the way. He fought Dan Feng (he didn’t want to, it hurt, that was his friend, someone who understood what he’d been through in a way no one else could-), a war of attrition enough to bring the other High Elder down. Dan Feng holds nothing back, but Yuelong had not wanted to hurt his friend. The wound across his cheek and neck, a final parting gift from someone he’d called a friend, stung as he wept into the storm around him. Baiheng was dead. Jingliu had taken Yingxing somewhere. They both disappeared. Of six, two remained. He thought, once more, of the dream he’d had, of running to live among the stars, of following the Beauty. He feels the bandages on his cheek again. Perhaps it is time to retire such a childish dream (would the Beauty even look at him, like this? He’d captured his friend, practically sentenced him to death. How could that be beautiful…?) for good. He stays. He picks up the pieces, he slips his Preceptors to spend time with Jing Yuan, he picks up Dan Feng’s duties. He argues, alongside Jing Yuan, for the release of Dan Feng’s new incarnation. When Bailu hatches, Yuelong takes her in immediately (he remembers how the Preceptors had treated him. Not again. Never again, not if he could help it). Dan Heng is banished, and that hurts too, but better that than life in prison (oh, but how Yuelong wishes he could’ve stayed). Life goes on. He stays at Jing Yuan’s side, continues his work healing, trains Bailu. He pulls himself together, learns to live with the scars. Smiles more, in Jing Yuan’s company. Threatens Preceptors who dare approach Bailu with poor intentions. Threatens more who try to tell him to be more civil (he has lost enough, being what they wanted. Never again). Laughed, when Jing Yuan took in a child - assisted him, as well. Friends help each other, after all. Ignores the way the cold creeps into his bones. Stares at the silver in his hair and sees Yingxing, and tries not to cry. Sometimes, still, he slips out into the Scalegorge Waterscape, lets it storm so he can cry and grieve in peace (sometimes, sometimes, he brings Jing Yuan with him). But life goes on, and so must he.

[alpinefitco]

Planning Remote Wilderness Trips: Packrafting in Gates of the Arctic National Park

Each adventure is different, so it’s impossible to write a step-by-step guide but there are fundamentals that will help make your trip go smoothly. Much of this comes down to research. If you know the area, terrain, weather etc then find a way to get there and start planning your gear. I will use our packrafting trips to Gates of the Arctic as an example of the decision making process.

Where are you going?: Gates of the Arctic is very remote so begin by selecting a route that meets your comfort level without taking risks you can’t handle on your own. The Alatna river and John river both suit this well, they are class II rivers offering some excitement (but not too much for our skill level). The Alatna has some great side trips as well into the Arrigetch which we will need to pack for as well. Being remote and sparsely traveled considerations include packing enough food, backup stove, GPS communication, repair kits for the packrafts. It’s way out there, but not all trips are like that, more local trips or those well-traveled can sometimes count on shared resources when plans go awry.

Who are you going with?: Nobody likes to be uncomfortable. Challenged is okay to a point, but continuously scared or miserable makes a trip less fun. There is much debate on the optimal group size; too small and it is more difficult to rescue someone if needed, too large and group dynamics get more difficult. Generally 4-6 people make good company. Consider the level of the group as well, the experience level should always dictate the trip. We found the Alatna challenging but manageable with just 2 people, but comfort level on the John River was tenuous. I personally would not join a group rafting class IV water given my lack of skill and experience, it would not be fair to the others.

What time of year is it?: Interior Alaska is famous for mosquitoes. If you go early enough, you might avoid the first hatch which is really nice. Middle of summer can be brutal. Other places might be too hot, low water etc. This changes where you plan on going and what gear you have to bring. There’s usually a blog post somewhere on your specific trip so spend some time finding the optimal timeframe in which to travel. We found that August in the Arctic was actually quite pleasant but reports of snow especially later in the month could make things more interesting.

How long is the trip?: Shorter trips are generally easier to plan for. Foods don’t need to be quite as balanced and suffering through forgotten items is sometimes okay. Longer trips require more careful packing both so that nothing is forgotten and because the bulk is larger. In theory, the added weight of food is reduced over time as it is eaten but this is often trivial compared to the weight of the other gear, especially on packrafting trips. Trips that are more than about 5 days also need to account for unexpected weather and incorrect weather reports. Just because the radar says the system will pass north of you doesn’t mean it won’t change! Pack your bag ahead of time to balance weight and add/eliminate if needed. 

What are the expectations?: Do trip members want a leisurely float or a hard and fast march? Is there time for relaxing at a hot spring? My recommendation is to plan 2 trips, one that gets you from point A to B, and the other with fun side trips as time allows. Scouting the USGS maps for fun mountains to climb or ruins to explore can greatly reduce the urge to push through as hard and fast as possible just to get there. More ambitious members can hike a ridge after getting to the campsite, while others can set up the fire and enjoy their Schnapps. We had ambitious plans on the Alatna to hike the Arrigetch mountains; unfortunately we were slower to get out of the headwaters than anticipated and had to cancel those plans. We did a 20 mile day hike lower down looking for a hot spring that never materialized but it was still fun.

For more information about Alpine Fit and the adventure apparel and accessories we make in Achorage, Alaska check out our website

[felikatze]

random videogame asks: a) anything on light nine specifically b) thoughts on varhya debuting the phantom thief outfits c) free space

a) L NINE...... he's so baby. he's just so baby

i LOVE the direction L Nine takes Nine's character. For the first two modes, a lot of other characters tried to treat Nine like a kid, because he is, fair, but at that point he'd already built up his facade in an effort to be taken seriously.

L Nine changes Nine's backstory just the sliiiiightest bit, by including One Nice Adult in his backstory, and the difference is staggering. Because now he does act like a kid. (I do like that his inclination toward dramatics is still there, just less prominent.)

However, one aspect i enjoy is the aspect of responsibility, which was also a major aspect of Laphlaes' arc. Through confrontation with not just the Knights, but also Lumie, Nine comes to truly realize the horrors he supported, and for the first time becomes capable of fully disavowing them. He doesn't have the same admiration for the gallus empire as his previous iterations.

This topic is handled with quite the bit of complexity, too! Obviously, Nine was a commander, and he wishes to atone for what he's done. But, as Lumie later realizes, it's unfair to pile all responsibility on him, because he is nonetheless Nine Years Old.

I've spoken about this before, I think, but i love the reversal of the Lumie-Nine dynamic so much. Previously, Lumie was the one who got Nine to drop his facade, and now, Nine is the one who can get Lumie to drop hers. Going into Lumie's character a bit, her past is similar to Nine, somewhat, both being children who got a lot of responsibility piled on them when they shouldn't have, and since Lumie failed her duties in extreme, she becomes jaded as a result, but her usual bubbly self is still there, just supressed underneath. I love their friendship! An adult seeing her past self in a kid getting a bit of closure that way....

I love L Nine's other relationships, too. Like his much changed dynamic with D Solphi, who used to hate him, but now she's like.. quietly protective. She does value him to some degree, and tries to keep him safe, like when she basically demoted him to put him out of harm's way. The softer Solphi comes from Aslan's influence, I'd wager. Having someone without some pre-established notions about her just trust her and give her a chance must do wonders for her usual bitterness.

Last note on L Nine, his kit basically perfectly counters D Nine. D Nine is a sapper, and L Nine deals out immunity buffs like candy. It's like, symbolic severance of his past self, or something

b) I may not be as big a phantom thief afficionado as you, but I do love those outfits! They're classy, and elegant and stuff. Putting the Bird Man in a suit and tophat is amazing, and i think you've seen what happened when the Lairei outfit dropped. She is so so pretty.

Giving specifically Varhya characters the elegant outfits is amazing, too, for stereotype subverting reasons. They deserve it! I like Lairei and Dhurahan being a tag-team here, since their stories are closely intertwined, for the most part. Dhurahan as a character wasn't spectacular to me, I'm kind of neutral on him, but I love Lairei so much and she totally deserves two gorgeous outfits. Congrats to Dhurahan for getting his first skin though! Dhurahan likers rejoice.

c) Thank you for the ask, June! Twas a lot of fun to think about.

Also tying back a previous thing, gotta of course tie L Nine back to time travel in LoH, since i adore so so much how characters who don't remember loops still get continous character development, in Nine's case letting himself actually act like a kid, recognizing the empire's atrocities and defecting, etc etc. Love that, so much. I love timeloops in media <3

In general time travel of any kind is one of my favorite tropes/plots/premises ever.

[sluttbuttsstuff]

SILVER CHARIOT “SUGAR DADDY” APPLICATION FORM: Formaggio

NAME: Formaggio

AGE:38

OCCUPATION: Celebrity chef, Restaurant owner (multiple)

ANNUAL INCOME AVERAGE: 30 million per year

BACKGROUND HISTORY: Formaggio came from a big catholic family that valued food, so he pursued a career as a chef right out of high school.  After several years of training and cooking, as well as help from a Manager who saw promise in him, Formaggio was able to open his first restaurant and make a name for himself. Formaggio quickly rose to fame in Italy for his good cooking and funny personality, not to mention quick learning and smart business sense.  His popularity only grew after guest starring on a cooking competition show with his knowledge on cuisine, and making even the harshest of judges laugh at his jokes.  From there, he was able to open 3 more restaurants in Italy (he’s working on his 5th, he wants to open a cat cafe after he went to one in japan) as well as one in France, Japan, and the US.  He’s also appeared several other times on popular cooking shows (just as a guest, he’s too busy to do it full time with his restaurants) and is working on publishing his first ever cooking book, which he’s currently promoting on tour.  When he isn’t working, he likes to spend his free time playing with his cats (he’s a well known advocate for animal shelter and has done lots of charity work promoting animal, specifically cat adoption) and building model kits and miniatures.  He’s also a huge fan of sports, specifically soccer, and loves throwing house parties.  In general, Formaggio is a fun loving guy who’s learned to work hard, but enjoys playing hard and relaxing too.

EXPECTATIONS:  Formaggio is looking for a darling willing to have fun and let loose with him, which on occasion means black tie events, and public outings. Darling doesn’t have to be outgoing or extraverted, but if they can’t stand crowds or parties, this relationship won’t work.  Formaggio does have a strong libido, which may need more than one person to fufill, so it’s important that darling is okay with sharing.  Formaggio is okay with darlings seeing other people, as long as they use protection, talk with him about it beforehand, and are discrete.  He doesn’t need a scandal about “cheating spouses” or whatever.  Also, no discussion of sugar daddy relationship to the press, and any rules he has for darling he also implements himself, fairs fair.  Other then that, Formaggio’s pretty chill.  You don’t have to be with him 24/7, although if you have a good vibe together he’d be more than happy to move you into his penthouse.  He’s also pretty generous with his money (it’s gotten him into trouble before, being careless with money) so whatever you want, however expensive or silly, will be bought for you no questions asked.  Just give him some sugar and keep him happy, and you’ll both be very happy.  Oh, and you can’t be allergic to cats, cause they’re not going anywhere.

LIKES: cats, soccer, house parties, his family, his kitchen, building miniatures, trying new things, gambling

DISLIKES: restrictions, possessiveness, sleeping alone, animal abuse, annoying children

IDEAL TYPE: Mostly physical, has a thing for large boobs/ass/thighs; he just wants someone to have fun with, and a sex drive that can keep up with him. He’d also like darling to be able to behave in front of his family, however, enough to not embarrass him.  If you love cats as much as him, that’s a huge plus, but if not, at least tolerate them.  He has quite a few.

IDEAL FIRST DATE:  Cook with darling together in his kitchen; a personal menu based on what darling likes/dislikes, followed by mixed drinks in his hot tub, watching his favorite soccer team play, and then having lots of sex to work off all the calories.

PAYMENT: All expenses covered by Formaggio, just send him an invoice and he’ll cover it.  He offers a monthly allowance if you ask, but you have to ask otherwise he’ll forget about it.

ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS/INFO:  Formaggio specifically told us to write this down...8 inches...that is all.

[bluecloudious]

Kinda angst I guess (but it has Zanaz so take that with a grain of salt)

Trying out writing a story this time.

I mean, yeah, I wrote for the comics, but not long dialog.

So yea, as per both the funni boys mature content warning. (There's no canoodling, there is talk of it tho.)

Also there's quite a bit of text (8 pages worth on Word)

So ye:

“Get up, I have some juicy gossip for you.”

...What?

I open my eyes and the world around me is blinding. It’s so bright that it takes a second to adjust to it. There’s nothing around me other than vast white and empty space.

This definitely isn’t Nevada anymore. (Unless Hank managed to ruin everything even further somehow.)

“Get up now, I know you heard me.”

I get up and look around. Who the hell is talking? There’s literally nothing but white for miles.

“I’m in your head, pretty boy.”

Uh, that…

“I’m holding my eyes closed, don’t worry. I regret ever having them open in here, in fact.”

Welp, that answers that. Now for the other question.

“Who I am is not important. What info I have, may be of interest, though.”

Alright?

“There’s a deal attached to this knowledge, Zanaz. Hear me out before you start fidgeting.”

I’ll sure try.

“You know Kits, right?”

No duh, he’s my best friend.

“Excellent. He’s going to die soon.”

…

What?! Wha, when, how, uh--

“Calm down, jitterbug. There’s nothing you can do to stop his fate, so don’t try. If he doesn’t die one way, another thing will go wrong. Understand?”

I-- NO! What the fuck?! Are you gonna kill him?!

“No, not me. I’m just sharing the news.”

Yeah, right, sure. Fucking… When then?

“Soon.”

How soon? In a month, week or a few days?

“Hm… A month then, give or take.”

...Fuck… How?

“Depends on what leads up to it.”

So, there are a lot of different ways it can happen, right?

“Indeed there are.”

...Do I die with him?

“No.”

NO?! In none of the different variations, I don’t die by his side?

“Oh, you can be by his side, of course. But death isn’t after you.”

What if I try to block a bullet, but it goes through both of us.

“Oddly specific. You’ll still survive.”

What if I block it with my head?!

“Brain damage, possible vegetable state. Will still survive though.”

What if Hank slices us with one of his multiple katanas?!

“People have lived through being sliced in half before.”

WHAT.

“This world has zombie clowns with god like powers and the AAHW is lead by a man consisting of black fire.”

...Ugh, fair enough. So… Wait those are all possible deaths for him?

“If you do everything in your power for it to happen, then yes.”

I… I can kill him before his time?

“Of course! You have free will, don’t you? It’s more of a question if you want to.”

Of course I fucking don’t! I care about him!

“I saw. You daydream about him an uncomfortable amount.”

He’s the main person I’m around, give me a break!

“Have you ever considered not being horny?”

Until I’m castrated, there’ll be nothing of the sorts.

“You’re not even fertile! None of the clones are!”

You think I’m tryna get anyone pregnant at this sausage fest? Besides, that has not stopped me before.

“I refuse to believe that any of those scenes I saw play out in your head happened for real.”

You’d be surprised then.

“WHICH?!?”

Those are for me to treasure.

“...You’re pulling my leg.”

Believe what you want.

“Augh, never mind, TMI. Back onto the topic at hand.”

Oh, yeah, right. Kit… Dying…

Could you for real not give me a date?

“If it depends on the circumstances beforehand, then there’s no possible way to tell which one belongs to this timeline.”

And that means…?

“I don’t know how this Kits dies.”

Can I at least warn him?

“Well, there’s where the other side of the deal comes in. If you tell him, then the effect kicks in immediately.”

What effect? Death?

“Precisely.”

...Ah. Wait, so if I don’t tell him, he dies in a month but if I do, he dies immediately? Of what?

“Stroke, heart attack or brain aneurysm. Chosen at random. Oh, also sneak assassination. That’s also a valid option.”

...This feels set up.

“Mh?”

This feels like either you or whoever sent you here set this up so I’d suffer. You enjoy the pain of others, don’t you?

“I’m only the messen--”

Yeah, yeah, Messenger Bullshit. Then whoever decided this is probably a reality tv producer, who is jacking off to someone pushing in the soft part of a baby’s skull as we speak. You encourage such behaviour by working with them, ya know.

“...Do you think you sound smart?”

I know for a fact I’m not, so no. I’m pretty sure I’m on the money with this one though.

“If I wasn’t here then Kits’ death would come as a surprise to you though!”

I’d prefer that, actually! Now I have to deal with knowing that he… He… Won’t be here anymore soon.

“Well, knowing how overwhelmingly perverted you are, wouldn’t you wanna grab this opportunity?”

...What?

“Shoot your shot, ask him out. Not like you could do it with a corpse… …Right…?”

I may be horny, but I’m not messed up.

“Had to make sure.”

Ugh, you’re just making fun of me, aren’t you?

“Which instance are you referring to?”

Kit would never date me.

“And why exactly do you think that?”

He has standards?

“You’re a decently handsome fellow. You also get along with him just fine.”

That… That’s not a determinant of shit like that. There’s way better out there for him.

“He won’t meet em then. Only a month to live, remember?”

I… It’s not worth it.

“What isn’t?”

I know he’ll say no, there’s no point in trying.

“How do you know for sure until you actually ask?”

Cause it’s obvious! He’s actually got a brain in his noggin and he knows me way too well! He’d be fucking disgusted, man! We’re just friends and that’s that.

“Do you not want to then?”

...Why do you assume I do? How do you know that those aren’t just blissful fantasies like the rest of them?

“He’s the only one that you dream of in a non-perverted way. I see no other person in this graphic landscape that you want to hold hands with. (Also, I am closing my eyes again now, Jebus Christoff.)”

...Ffffuck.

“Well, did hit the nail on the head?”

Y-You’re stupid and gay!

“I’m rubber, you’re glue.”

That doesn’t affect me, I’m already openly gay and stupid!

“I guess we’re both such then.”

Dammit.

“So, you gonna give him a month to remember or not?”

…Eh?

“Come on, how much romance could a member of the A.A.H.W. really experience throughout their lifetime? If you’d make this month worth his and your own time, perhaps it would be less painful to see him go? At least he died happy?”

THAT WOULD BE EXTRA PAINFUL FOR ME, THOUGH!

“Oop, Zanaz selfish, you heard it here first, folks.”

That’s not what I meant. I’d already be upset over losing my best friend, imagine how fucking devastating losing a sweetheart would be.

“…I dunno, still sounds selfish to me. Does his happiness not mean anything to you?”

Who says he’d be happy with me?

“I know you want to make him happy, at least. You dream about his smile.”

STOP FUCKING LOOKING THOUGH MY THOUGHTS!!

“I’m not looking anymore, I just memorized the ones I already saw. (I wish I couldn’t.)”

I- You- Fucking-- UggHHH! It’s not worth it!

“What exactly do you imagine will happen if you tell him how you feel, huh? World combusts?”

I already told you, he already knows way too much about me! He’d be fucking grossed out and we’ll… We’ll stop being friends.

He’d quicken his pace whenever we’d have to pass each other in one of the halls. He’d desperately keep his glance away from me. He’d… I’d stop being the main person he talks and comes to company for a-and I can’t fucking have that, man!

I-I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He means too much to me.

“…I had no idea you were this insecure.”

FUCK OFF! It’s a bitter reality that I’ve come to accept!

“You haven’t even given it a shot!”

You don’t need to get crushed by a piano to know you’d die on impact!

“Those two things don’t correlate even remotely!”

It’s a metaphor!

“I know that, I’m saying that Kits has a thing for you too!”

…He what?

“He has major league crush on you! The things you say when play-flirting excite him! He’s gotten off to the thought of you touching him up! The works! (Why did I word it like that?)”

Whuh-- How the fuck do you know this??

“While you were monologuing, I visited his subconscious and confirmed it for myself.”

You can do that??

“You don’t even know my name.”

...Fair nuff. So, wait, he’s actually gotten off thinking about me?

“I don’t even need to open my eyes to already know you’re imagining it. Short answer, yes. He’s into you, Zanaz.”

Augh, I dunno what to do with this info. It’s kinda... Overwhelming in a way.

Actually, wait, how do I know you haven’t been lying to me this whole time?

“I’m an incorporeal voice in your head that’s having a back and forth with you in a white void.”

Yeah, and?

“…I’m supernatural?”

Yeah, and?

“Come on! I just know, okay?!”

Sounds fake, not gonna lie.

“The part where I knew that Kits was gonna die was convincing, but the moment I mention that he might have a thing for you, you question the validity of my claims thus far??”

One sounds way more far-fetched than the other, you gotta admit.

“NO IT DOESN’T?!?!”

For you maybe! I’ve known him since I’ve been out the cloning tube! We became agents together! I think I’d know what kinda stuff is off the table for him, buddy.

“Well, not only are you wrong, you’re in denial.”

I am not!

“Then try it! Just attempt asking him out! In the very least, you’ll remain friends after. I promise you. Cross my heart and all that jazz.”

…

…You’re absolutely positive? You are also the person that told me he’d die in a month’s time.

“A hundred percent positive. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”

You have a life?

“Unfortunately. So, you’ll do it?”

Why’re you so adamant about me fucking Kits?

“Affgdgfdgfg, it’s not about you fucking him, it’s you making his last living month worthwhile!”

Okay, so, why do you want me to do that?

“…Do you not??”

I mean, I guess that sounds worth my time. But you didn’t answer my question.

“Sorry for assuming that you want the person you’re madly in love with to be happy, I guess??”

Apology accepted. Now, how do I get outta here?

“Ugh, just wake up.”

Whu--

And I’m sitting up in my own mat, back at the facility. The clock shows that it’s early morning.

What the fuck do I make of what I just saw? Or heard, for that matter? It clearly wasn’t a normal dream, I never remember those. Plus the topic tends to blur together usually.

I gotta tell-- Wait, I can’t do that, fuck.

…

It’s way to early for shit like this, man!!

Augh…

[kagrenacs]

so i have to ask since i sorta also follow you for the mineral-posting. how would one get geodes. i got one from my local museum and breaking it open awoke something terrible in me. i want another, but i don’t completely trust online sellers (even Etsy)

National Geographic has these fun little kits where you can get one or two to smash open, I've seen those in quite a few locations in kids toy isles. If you have a local hobby shop they're likely to have some! Stores that specifically sell rocks might have them, like lapidary and spiritual healing shops. I've found some at tourist and antique shops

This was more pre-covid, (but something to keep in mind for when the pandemic winds down) renaissance/medieval, antique and hobby fairs usually have vendors selling some. There used to be a gem and rock show that came through every March or so, that sold any rock you can imagine.

And if you want to get out and about, they're fairly common. The best places to find them are deserts, Volcanic ash beds or areas with lots of limestone! I haven't found a geode yet, but nearby riverbeds, I've come across rocks with quartz inclusions that you can wack with a hammer to get at (with safety goggles please). I've been told the best sign a rock is a geode is if it looks like a cauliflower head!

[another-dr-another]

insert those coins babey! no point in holding onto them if they aren't used !

You Now Own:

001 - Mineral Water (x2)

Drawn from the ocean depths and rigorously purified. Ideal for a modern on-the-go public unsatisfied with tap water.

002 - Sea Salt

A basic seasoning produced from the evaporation of seawater. It also sees use as a preservative.

003 - Ration

A set of canned and vacuum-sealed foodstuffs. The taste isn't bad, and a certain snake that wants to play hide-and-go-seek is just crazy abou- wait, what?

005 - Ramune

A sweet, lemon-flavored carbonated drink. A marble plugs the opening of the uniquely designed bottle. The bottle can also be reused if you bring it to the ramune store.

010 - Ship In a Bottle

A intricate creation, a model ship within a bottle. Made with time, love and care.

012 - Envy-Enducing Envy CD

A CD of songs by Japanese band Envy. Full of unreleased tracks/first recordings.

014 - Children's Book

A children's book about family and forgiveness! The plot is about a sister who can't get along with her younger brother, but they find common ground and bond over causing trouble for their parents.

016 - Sour Soda (x2)

No flavor is listed on the bottle other than sour, which may just be a flavor in and of itself. It's a near black shade of blue... I think.

017 - Gentleman's Guide

A book that's meant to help shape you into the perfect gentleman. However, it's rather demeaning towards the reader, which doesn't feel very gentleman-ly.

018 - Masculine Cologne

Very masculine, can only be used by masculine people. No weaklings allowed, or people with the common sense to smell it before purchasing, and realize it smells really bad.

019 - Fancy Sword

True to it’s name, it looks very fancy, and very intimidating. However, it's only for show, and rather blunt- perhaps inexpensive?

022 - ??? Alcohol

It's something alcoholic. This is a school, it should be confiscated, and you won't be receiving any more information.

024 - Hair Cutting Scissors

Snip snip snip, meant for hair-cutting at home, as these aren’t professional grade. Still though, try and make it even, okay?

025 - Purple Hair Dye

Pretty purple hair dye guaranteed to not come out of hair for weeks! More of a pinkish-purple than the box advertised, but still pretty.

028 - Constellation Skirt

With patterns matching actual real constellations. Despite matching the night sky, it almost seems sun-rise themed, with its pink background and pale gold stars.

030 - Bottled Tea

When heated up, it's meant to help soothe upset stomachs, and muscle aches. Popular among student athletes.

031 - Alarm Clock

It's a digital alarm clock. One of the few normal and functional things here, and it's the thing that screams at you to wake up every morning.

032 - Broken Stopwatch (x2)

It won't stop running, no pausing or restarting. You can however make it record different laps.

034 - Baseball Cap

Perfect for keeping the sun out of your face! This one is all black though, so it'll retain a lot of heat.

038 - Card Game (x3)

One easy to play, and popular among kids. The front side of the package shows a family of four playing.

039 - Reminder Booklet

A small pamphlet that gives reminders for daily things, such as eating, drinking, taking meds, etc. Also has room for you to add in unique personalized reminders.

041 - Tiovita

A Japanese energy drink sold at most convenience stores. Pretty inexpensive, and with a nice fruity flavor- but hey, only one per day!

044 - Lie Detector (x2)

Fun for the whole family! Though not incredibly accurate... wait, how do you know that?

045 - Evidence Encylopedia

A book focusing on evidence found in crime scenes. From most overlooked to most common, this book talks about it all.

049 - Track Award

A award from a middle school track and field award. The recipient of the trophy seems to have come in second in two events, and first in one.

050 - Plane Tickets (x2)

Anywhere, anytime, round trip tickets. Probably given as some sort of thank you for volunteering to get off of a accidentally over-booked flight.

051 - Therapy Advertisement (x2)

Some therapist endorsing themselves. Upon looking at the services they offer, I don't feel very inspired to go there.

056 - Soulmate Sweatshirt

A sweatshirt that supposedly brings the most comfort not when you wear it, but when holding someone wearing it. Currently smells strongly of... lavender?

057 - Scrap Metal x3

Seems to be broken bits and pieces of some sort of engine. Could be repurposed, or simply a cool trinket.

059 - Old Journal

It seems to be from the late 80s, and kept being written in up to the early 90s. There's a entry on the last page, synopsizing the birth of the owners son, and how proud the owner is of his now five year old.

060 - Paper Boat

A piece of paper that's been folded into a boat. Apparently you can fold and tear it as you tell a story to provide a visual aid for the story, but no one here knows how.

061 - Calendar

It's got pictures of internationally famous towns on it! This particular one has been written on with a note on almost every day.

064 - Face-paint Kit.

A professional face-painting kit. However, it’s missing it’s red, yellow, blue and white paint- those colors have been all used up.

065 - Life Quote Sign (x3)

A sign with some stereotypical life quote written on it in flowery lettering. Most likely to be seen hanging in a kitchen.

066 - Throwing Rings (x2)

Meant for fair games. If you have good enough aim, maybe you'll win a prize!

067 - Pleasant Savior

Seemingly a CD filled with various performances by the same person. I haven't played the CD, so I don't know what kind of performances he does though, and the name is off-putting.

069 - “Fresh” Bouquet (x3)

Somehow still smells sweet with flowers that look flawless. It's comprised of roses that have been dyed rainbow, all of them.

070 - Hair Ribbons (x3)

They come in a variety of colors, but the Monomono Machine only dispenses yellow. Guaranteed to make the wearer feel a certain sense of self-satisfaction.

071 - Girls Profile

A student profile from a all-girls academy. The paper is water-stained and some of the ink has run, so it's hard to make out what's on the paper.

073 - Baby Doll

It seems to be from around the 90s and... not quite well-loved, but well-played-with. Doesn't come with the original clothes... or hair.

075 - Dream Catcher

Made by a past SHSL. It's actually been pretty effective, and is part of the reason they got scouted.

080 - Retro Game

It's handheld, old, and extremely broken. The screen has been shattered so it displays wrong, all cracked and distorted.

081 - Blackout Curtains (x2)

Completely block out any and all light. Strong enough to plunge a room into darkness.

084 - Noise-cancelling Headphones

They completely block out all sound! Also come with the ability to adjust the size of the band, and will stay on your ears even if you pull the band down to your neck.

086 - Wall Decals

Stickers you can put on your wall. They do a decent job of covering up holes in said walls.

087 - Antique Stuffed Animal (x2)

It seems to be bunny themed, and dressed in clothes you'd see on babies in the 1930s. It's in pretty good shape, other than a few tears where the lace trim at the end has had it’s stitches removed.

088 - Embroidery Kit

Or rather, a needle and thread to be used for embroidery. There's only one needle, and one spool of thread, but hey, it’s something.

090 - Scented Markers (x2)

A full rainbow set, all with their own unique smell! Be careful though - it's hard to get these out of clothes.

092 - Fake Christmas Tree (x2)

Too plastic to be a real tree. It's also incredibly small, but real trees can be small too, so that doesn’t really mess with the realism.

093 - Hair Gel

Top of the line hair gel, and completely unopened! Helps you style your hair and keep it in place, but doesn’t give it the nicest texture.

095 - Instant Noodles

Just add water to get something hot, salty, and/or spicy! A nice meal if you're looking for something that's quick and easy, you can dress it up some too.

097 - Drink Mix

A powder used for ??? warm drink, made with milk, tastes like... something? You try it and tell me, but it smells good at the least.

099 - The DSM-I

Self-explanatory, it's the original version of the DSM, from 1952. Index cards have been slipped in-between most of the pages, talking about what happened with the information listed there.

100 - Collection Of Old Ads

Dating back to the 1920s. A magazine full of ads from a different time, it’s somewhat of a miracle the paper held up while the ideas in it didn’t.

101 - Wooden Ruler

It's a wooden ruler. Used for measuring things, nothing else- why do you ask?

102 - Building Blocks (x3)

Stacking and stacking, and sending it all crumbling down. And then you rinse and repeat.

104 - Cutesy Hair Clips

Snap clips in pastel colors and covered in designs. Oddly enough, there isn't any non-pastels, unless you count the few white clips.

106 - Newspaper Collage

Seems to be a collection of snippets from newspaper articles. There must be hundreds in here... it's a big collage.

107 - Cropped Sweatshirt

Cropped specifically due to a parent saying not to. The sweatshirt seems to be related to some organization, with the big fancy emblem on it.

109 - Pins And Patches

A mix-and-match bag full of enamel pins, buttons, and iron-on patches. Good luck finding something to do with them all.

110 - Origami Paper (x2)

Simple origami paper, in a variety of colors and patterns! Comes easy to tear out of a book, which includes instructions on basic origami types.

112 - Colorful Band-Aids.

They come in many colors, designs, even different sizes. Some seem to be made to cover up paper cuts, others meant to help skinned knees and scraped elbows.

Thank you for visiting the Monomono Machine!

~*~

Maeda, narrating - And I thought the coins were kinda heavy...

Maeda - What now?

[Free Time Event - Uehara]

{Head to Your Room}

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #101: Rama

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the number 1 member of the Arcade hatedom, Rama! If you’ve seen my previous Indian heroes you know this build is also going to get a bit funky, but by the end of it you’ll have a cool sword you can throw around, the ability to fight off demons, and a monkey army.

Check out Rama’s build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: One Strike Man

Race and Background

We know we had a thing going with Arjuna and Karna being Genasi, but Vishnu’s more of a general god than a themed one, so we have to be basic and go Aasimar on this one. Specifically Scourge Aasimar, because you’re not edgy and can’t fly. We’re also using the new Tasha’s rules about races to swap some bonuses around, so you’re going to get +1 Constitution and +2 Intelligence instead of charisma. You also get some Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, the Light cantrip, and Healing Hands to heal a creature as an action once per long rest. Trust me, you’ll need it for the early levels.

Like a lot of servants, you’re a Noble, gaining History and Persuasion proficiencies. 

Ability Scores

This build pretty much uses every score, so we had to make some tough cuts. Make your Strength the highest score, you’re a saber, you should be good at sabing. Second is Wisdom, you were born wise, which is a pretty amazing feat. I’m not sure how the figured that out before you could talk, but it’s still cool. Third is your Charisma, your star-crossed love transcends the bonds of the universe and has literally saved your life on occasion. Your Dexterity isn’t as high as I’d like it-we need it for multiclassing, but we’ll get it bumped up in time. Also, I’m willing to be generous here and say you’re wearing medium armor, that’s kind of a breastplate. Your Intelligence is also lower than I’d like, but that’s also getting a boost from your racial bonuses, so I guess it’s fine. Unfortunately, that means we’re dumping Constitution. It’s not fun, but it’s also the only score we aren’t actively using. Don’t worry, we’ll get it up into at least neutral territory as soon as possible.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: Fighters are pretty cool, and starting out as one gives you proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as the Animal Handling and Perception skills. A monkey may be your mortal enemy, but you also command an army of them.

You get a fighting style, and Dueling will make your one handed attacks a bit stronger so you can keep a hand open for spells. You also get a Second Wind for another way to heal yourself as a bonus action.

2. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, tacking an extra action onto one of your turns once per short rest. This level is pretty light, so I’ll also take a second to say that we’re using a Trident as your weapon in this build, for reasons that will become apparent in a couple levels. It’s unorthodox, but you’re used to making swords out of other weapons, so it shouldn’t be that big a deal.

3. Fighter 3: I’m not going to beat around the bush here, you’re an Eldritch Knight. That means you’re learning some Spells, most of which will be abjuration or evocation and all of which will use your Intelligence to cast. You also gain a Weapon Bond, preventing you from being disarmed while conscious, and you can summon your weapon as a bonus action from anywhere in the plane. You also get your Radiant Consumption, which deals radiant damage to all creatures in a radius around you, including you. You can also add radiant damage to one attack per turn. The transformation lasts up to a minute, and you can use it once per long rest.

But you’re probably interested in those spells, right? Message is just useful, Sword Burst and Shield will protect you until we can get that constitution mess sorted, Find Familiar will help you get your first monkey friend, and Burning Hands is also there.

4. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Constitution and bring your Dexterity into multiclassing range. Also, now that we’ve got a way to get your weapon back, we’ll switch out our old fighting style for Thrown Weapon Fighting as a part of your Martial Versatility. This allows you to draw a throwing weapon as part of an attack, and you deal more damage when throwing them. Who needs artificers and their returning weapons when you’ve got this?

You also learn the Snare spell to get some less magical monkey friends.

5. Fighter 5: Your Extra Attack lets you make two attacks per action. We’ll be seeing this feature a lot, but it doesn’t stack from multiple classes.

6. Paladin 1: You’re kind of literally a god, so this is something of an inevitability. You get a Divine Sense to help you track down Ravana, and can Lay on Hands for yet another way to heal yourself or other party members.

7. Paladin 2: Paladins also get a fighting style, so grab Dueling again, for the same reasons we got it in the first place. You can also cast and prepare another set of Spells, using your Charisma to cast. If you’re sick of casting spells though, you can also use your spell slots for Divine Smites, adding extra radiant damage to a melee attack, and even more to fiends and the undead.

Some first level spells to look out for are Command for some of the same reason as Arjuna and Karna- if someone of sufficient power says something’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. You can also use Heroism to help your party even more and Divine Favor to give you a bit of a smite even on thrown attacks.

8. Paladin 3: Your defining trait is your endless search for your wife, so the Devotion oath is a pretty solid pick. You get some Oath Spells about beating up demons that are always prepared for you, as well as two ways to Channel Divinity. Sacred Weapon adds your charisma modifier to attack rolls with a weapon, and turns the weapon magical for the duration. This also ends if you stop holding the weapon, so again, it doesn’t fit with throwing it around. You can also Turn the Unholy, forcing Fiends and Undead that fail a wisdom saving throw to run away until it takes damage.

We’re already eight levels in, but we have like one monkey! That’s not an army! That’s unacceptable, someone should do something about that.

9. Ranger 1: If we want animal sidekicks, Ranger’s the best option. At first level you get a skill proficiency, so grab Stealth so you can sneak up on your arch-monkey-enemies. You also have a Favored Foe, marking a creature upon attacking it for up to a minute with concentration. Then, once per turn you deal an extra 1d4 damage to that enemy. You can mark enemies this way a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus. You’re also a Deft Explorer, doubling your proficiency in Animal Handling. You can literally talk to the little bastards, that’ll give you quite the edge.

10. Ranger 2: Being a second level ranger nets you a third fighting style; the Archery style gives your ranged attacks (including thrown weapons) a +2 to hit. You also get a third Spell list, which uses Wisdom to cast. Grab Longstrider and Zephyr Strike for ways to stay mobile and still deal damage.

11. Ranger 3: Be honest, you thought we were going beastmaster, didn’t you? Like we said earlier, one monkey does not an army make, and Swarmkeeper fairs much better with multiclassing anyway. You have a Primal Awareness letting you Speak with Animals either as a normal spell or once per long rest you can cast it for free. Swarmkeepers also get Swarmkeeper Magic, which is just an extended spell list. We’ll get into those with the regular spell you’re learning this level. Last but not least is the feature swarmkeepers are named for, the Gathered Swarm. You now have countless pygmy marmosets swarming over your body at all times. That’s a class feature, I am so sorry. It’s not all bad news though, because after hitting a creature with any attack, your swarm can deal extra damage, push the target 15′ in any direction if they fail a strength save, or move you 5′ in any direction. Save yourself a bonus action by throwing a weapon at an enemy, closing the gap with your swarm, then getting it back the old fashioned way!

You get Mage Hand as part of being a swarmkeeper, and it’s flavored as Literally Just a Monkey. You also learn Faerie Fire this way, and your normal spell this level is Animal Friendship. If they’re going to be crawling all over you, it’s best to stay on their good side.

12. Paladin 4: Now that we finally have your base kit set up, we can revisit some of your classes. Use this ASI to round up your Strength for stronger hits, and Charisma for more and better paladin spells. This is also a secret tool that will help us out in a little bit.

13. Paladin 5: The extra attack you get this level is a lie; it doesn’t stack with your fighter extra attack. The good news is you get second level spells this level as well, so it’s not a complete waste. You get Lesser Restoration and Zone of Truth as oath spells.

14. Paladin 6: Our last stop in the paladin class gives you an Aura of Protection, increasing all your saving throws (as well as any ally within 10 feet of you) by your charisma modifier.

15. Ranger 4: Since we don’t have to worry about your concentration saves anymore, we can just go for more health. Use this ASI to get the Tough feat, for an extra 2 HP per level.

16. Ranger 5: Once again, you get another useless extra attack, and once again you also get second level spells. You can Summon Beast to make a monkey that will be pretty scary when you get a fourth level spell slot at 17th level. You can also make Webs, or use Beast Sense once a day for free. Don’t ask what the webs are made out of.

17. Ranger 6: Your Favored Foe damage ramps up to 1d6, and you’re now Roving, meaning your movement speed increases, and you gain a climbing and swimming speed. Monkeys are pretty agile, you need to be able to keep up with them.

18. Fighter 6: We’re ending this build where we began, with the fighter class. Use this ASI for even more Charisma for better saves, more spells, and a more winning smile.

19. Fighter 7: Seventh level eldritch knights know War Magic, meaning that if you use a cantrip as your main action, you can still attack as a bonus action. I’m not sure why you’d message someone in the middle of battle, but here you go.

You also get second level spells, for the third time. Any evocation or abjuration spell is good here, but I chose Gust of Wind because it’s hard to throw weapons around if enemies are getting close to you.

20. Your capstone feature is another ASI, so grab the Piercer feat to round up your Dexterity and make your sword just a little more deadly. Once per turn, you can reroll a piercing damage die, and your critical hits deal a little more piercing damage.

Pros:

Despite your patchwork class levels, one thing that really shines through is your support abilities. Your Aura of Protection offers a solid +3 to all saves within 10′ of you, and you have multiple ways to heal other party members in a pinch.

You can also deal pretty dependable damage, thanks to your multitude of fighting styles mixing together to overcome your low ability scores. Despite having a strength of 16, you can aim your throws like you have a 20, and deal damage like you have a 24. You also have plenty of ways to incrementally add damage to each attack. Adding Favored Foe, smites, and your swarm damage to your attack racks up damage quickly.

You’ve got solid movement options, both for yourself and enemies. Being able to shove enemies around and into hazards with your swarm is a huge game changer.

Cons:

Eldritch Knights use their bonus action to resummon their weapon. Rangers use it to apply Favored Foe. Paladins use it for smites. Basically what I’m saying is your bonus action is super crowded, and it’s nearly impossible for you to go a round in combat without either holding back or making a tough decision about what to use it on.

If you couldn’t tell from the introduction, you depend on a ton of ability scores, to the point that constitution was the safest thing to dump early on. Even now, most of your spells aren’t particularly strong.

A lot of this build was about making a throwing weapon powerful, and thrown weapons don’t gel with paladins at all. It breaks your Channel Divinity and can’t be used with smites, limiting your power.

[worm-man-gaming]

My top 10 list for who I WANT as DLC in Smash

We’re reaching the end of an era. Smash Ultimate’s DLC is going to end eventually, with four more characters to be announced. They could release some kind of ‘Echo Pack’ in the future, which I would be hyped about (They didn’t really do much with the echo fighter mechanic), But I have a feeling that after this, there won’t be any more. So I wanted to post my list of who I, specifically, would like to see in the game.

This is not based off of likelihood, as some of these characters probably don’t even have a chance of making it in. I just think they would be neat.

Full list under the cut, counting up from #10

- Papyrus (UNDERTALE)

Okay, so hear me out.

We got the Sans mii skin, and that was by far one of the most popular mii skins since Geno, probably. People were more excited for the Sans mii skin than Terry Bogard and maybe even Banjo. They probably made a lot more money than expected from it. So why not try it again? 

And while Sans is the popular character, he definitely is not a fighter. He’s a lazy, laid back character that just wants to have fun, but he’s far too weak to go into an all-out battle without risking his own safety. 

HOWEVER!

Sans’s brother, Papyrus, is the polar opposite. He’s dedicated, hardworking, and can take quite a few hits. He’s got plenty of moveset opportunity. And it would be another indie rep, which is really really good for someone like me, who wants to go into game design. 

Another thing: When we got the Cuphead mii skin, we also got Cuphead Spirits. They could have easily done that with Undertale, there’s enough characters. So maybe they’re saving it for a DLC Spirit board? I don’t know, just a theory.

He would be primarily a ground-based fighter, with projectiles that could crawl across the stage like that one sparky item. He could also use his blue attack, which could be good for an easy spike on airborne characters. And, who knows, maybe for his final smash we could finally see his special attack.

I really enjoy Undertale, and seeing Sans as a mii skin made me super happy. Getting a whole fighter from the series would be even cooler. 

- Paper Mario (Super Paper Mario)

Nintendo, we’ve got three whole Links in this game, but only two Marios? Preposterous!

With that being said, Super Paper Mario was one of my favorite Wii games (Although I didn’t play it until very recently) And it’s a very popular series. He’s essentially his own character separate from Mario at this point. The games have so much lore put into them, and we already have a Paper Mario Stage in the game, so maybe we could get Dimentio’s dimension, or the Origami Palace or something.

He’s been in enough games and done enough crazy things to earn a pretty diverse kit for himself. He could use Pixils, the 1000-Fold arms, or even summon Paper Bowser, Peach and Luigi for some attacks. 

I think he would be super fun to play. I’m terrible at vanilla Mario, but I think Paper Mario would be a good fit for the game AND be a super good-feeling character. However, this comes from a G&W main, so take from that what you will.

- King Boo (Luigi’s Mansion)

I 👏 want 👏 more 👏 villains 👏 in 👏 Smash! 👏 

King Boo is a staple of the Luigi’s Mansion series as well as being an enemy for Mario in some games like Sunshine. He’s the Big Bad Evil Guy for Luigi. 

And I DEFINITELY want him in this game. 

It’s not so much the character himself, although King Boo is really good, I want him in for his kit. Think about it. A large character but with floaty jumps like Jigglypuff and an aerial based moveset AND a teleport? He’d be ruthless. And really fun. And that’s what I’m looking for in a character.

- BOTW Zelda (Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity)

Yes, I know. “But Worm, the Zelda we have now is annoying and awful, and you say you want ANOTHER one?!?!?” Well, you’re half right.

Yes, Zelda is known for her darkness-sealing powers in BOTW, BUT, in the recent Age of Calamity game, her moveset for almost have the game revolves around the Sheikah Slate. She uses it creatively, hopping around on ice and whirling metal slabs around with a magnet. And I think that would be a SUPER cool moveset for Smash Bros. 

And who knows, maybe they would call back to older games and allow her to switch to using her powers, like Zelda used to change into Sheik. 

She would be very technical, with her attacks being powerful but with some startup, almost similar to Snake of all characters. And for her final smash she could use a Weak Point Smash or they could bring back Bow of Light (Which was MUCH more fair than the current one, by the way). She’d be fun, and that’s what I want.

- Maxwell (Scribblenauts)

Maxwell is from Scribblenauts, a game where you have to solve puzzles by writing words in a notebook and those words coming to life. So he’s work in the same way in Smash, although much more randomized. 

For his neutral special, maybe he could write a random item and it shows up in his hand. That would be funny AND cool, and it’s possible (because Peach does the same thing with Turnips!). He could use projectiles but also have plenty of close range options, and for a Final Smash he could use the Meteor, which in the game clears the screen of living things. Brutal! He also uses Adjectives on both his creations AND himself, so maybe for some moves he could effect the other opponent with a poison or freeze effect.

Would he be banned in competitive play? Yes. Would he still be fun? Definitely!

- Jibanyan (Yo-Kai Watch)

I may be in the minority here, but I REALLY liked Yo-Kai Watch as a game. It may seem like a cheap Pokemon ripoff, but the gameplay is nothing like it at all. You’re given a map to explore and various objectives within the map, and the battle system is really creative and fun. It’s actually the inspiration for some of my own games. Yo-Kai watch deserved more credit than it got.

Jibanyan is the poster boy for the series (and also has the saddest backstory of any cat-based character ever), and mainly attacks with both his paws and fire attacks. He could have fire-based moves and would almost play similar to Pichu. His final smash could be Paws of Fury, his soultimate move, that would hit like Donkey Kong’s final smash as a flurry of blows. 

This series is really well made and thought out, and it deserves more than it got. So please put my boy in Smash, I’m begging you.

- Specter Knight (Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment)

Okay, yes. I know Shovel Knight is the main character of this series. But again, hear me out.

Specter Knight is either the first or second boss you encounter in the main Shovel Knight game, and he’s already got some moveset potential from that alone. However, he also had his own story mode, Specter of Torment, ad let me say, that is a phenomenal game. I’d go so far as to say it’s better than the main Shovel Knight game itself. His controls are quick and easy to pick up. And he has a whole bunch of special abilities you can get as the game progresses, such as a boomerang or even a shadow clone. 

His smash moveset would pull most of the specials from the unlockable items he can get, leaving room for an incredible spacing game as well as a good aerial defense, as Specter Knight can both float and do a Dash Slash through enemies for some extra air time. 

Shovel Knight is the main character, but Specter Knight obviously has the most soul put into him (Pun not intended). And, again, he’d be fun to control. 

- Master Hand / Fighter Hand (Super Smash Bros. Series)

This is mostly me just being mad at the game for giving us a playable Master Hand, but only once. We couldn’t have even gotten a Master Mode in extras, huh? 

Yes, yes, I know Master Hand is the staple boss character for Smash Bros. He’s been in every game, for crying out loud! I’m honestly surprised it took them this long to give us a playable Master Hand. But this leads into my idea:

A new hand, made specifically to fight in Smash Bros, called Fighter Hand.

Yes, it’s cheesy. Yes, it’s stupid. But hey, it would be fun.

He would have scaled-down versions of Master Hand’s moves, with mainly projectile-based specials and tilts. He would be floaty, although introducing a flying character would be interesting to see how they balance it. For a final smash, maybe they could bring back Master Core from Smash 4 for a Giga Bowser-esque punch.

- The Knight (Hollow Knight)

Hollow Knight is an Indie Game that I never finished (I’m working on it, okay?) that’s kind of like Metroid in the way it’s played. It's also a very popular game, and I like bugs, so they get the number two spot because I like him.

And the special Soul moves you unlock translate well into Specials. Platformers always translate well into Smash, so he would work very well in the game. I don’t know what their moveset would be (as I haven’t finished the game yet), but I know they would be a small, fast character that mainly uses their nail to attack like a sword.

And my most wanted character in Super Smash Brothers: Ultimate is...

- Beatrix LeBeau (Slime Rancher)

Okay, look. I’m aware this has zero chance of happening. Slime Rancher was never the most popular game, and Nintendo has never mentioned it ever. But it’s one of my favorite games, and I just think Beatrix would be an incredible character in Smash Bros. 

She would use her jetpack to recover, she would shoot plorts as projectiles, use he vacpac to suck up both fighters and projectiles, and maybe shoot a boom slime as an explosive and unpredictable bouncing hazard. Her smash attacks and aerials would use the various slimes you can vacuum up and feed in the game, like the Rad Slime and Rock Slimes. She would be really good offstage and onstage with her weakness being her speed. 

She could bring a LOT to this series, and it would be another inspirational indie rep. And, hey, Minecraft Steve got in. Who knows at this point.

Anyway, there’s my list. Feel free to argue with me or explain why Geno should be on my list (I will not care) in the comments or reblogs, this list is not changing unless I play some new game that I feel should be represented. 

[steve-rogers-new-york]

This topic is brought to you thanks to my amazing Patreon Supporters!

Steve’s Camp Lehigh Uniform

Here is a rough breakdown of Steve’s uniform while training at Camp Lehigh. Based on stills from CA:TFA, I’ve gone through and compared them to known WWII uniform items. Now, military history is not in my wheelhouse, so while I have done my best to be accurate, I am always happy to be corrected!

Helmet

M1 Helmet —This was the stock-standard issue combat helmet during WWII. It was one-size-fits-all, with adjustable suspension straps inside. Image source: [A] [B]

T-shirt

The t-shirt seen would have been the standard white undershirt. In the scene with Erskine, he can also be seen wearing a printed version with the SSR logo on it, but in the training scenes, it’s just a plain t-shirt-style undershirt. Image source: [A]

Shirt

Herringbone Twill, Specification PQD 45 ��� Based on the striped-colouration of the material, and the pocket-shape, it is most likely his shirt is Herringbone Twill — however, it is classified as a ‘jacket’ not a shirt. The colour appears to be olive drab. Upon reviewing footage (00:12), the weight design and button placement also match. Image source: [A] [B]

Pants

Herringbone Twill, Specification PQD 45 — I am quite sure that if the shirt is indeed Herringbone Twill, the pants would be the matching style. Additionally, with close inspection of the stills, they also have a slight lined-colouration and they appear to be a thicker material than cotton. There is also no pockets on his pants, which matches with these ones and not other work/fatigue pants. The colour appears to be olive drab. Image source: [A] [B]

Drawers

Cotton/Wool Drawers — Yes, we can’t see them, but it’s fair to assume he is also kitted out in the official issue drawers. They came in white and olive drab, made from cotton and wool/cotton-blends. Image source: [A] [B] [C] [D]

Leggings

M1910 Canvas Leggings — These came in three shades of material: Blch Khaki, Mustard Khaki, and Pea Green. I’m inclined to say Steve is wearing Pea Green, but it’s not particularly clear, they look darker in the stills. These are worn over the breeches and shoes (see image #2). The pair Steve is wearing is also quite long, coming to below the knee — some other styles were much shorter. Based on reviewing the footage (03:03), they appear to be 8-hook length. Image source: [A] [B] [C]

Shoes

Type I or II Service Shoe—These are 8-eyelet, brown-leather ankle-boots, with a flat smooth, rubber sole and slight heel. They appear to have been standard-issue, and commonly paired with the canvas leggings. It is the most likely match.  Image source: [A] [B] There is a degree of guess-work with the shoes, as they are often only just in scene and are also partially covered by the leggings. Based on the few scenes they are visible, they are brown-leather, have a smooth sole, and are laced. Their height is unclear as the leggings cover the top of the shoe. While Steve is crawling under the barbed wire, another soldier’s soles can be seen to have a slight heel (01:30), and again in the push-ups scene (03:01). 

Check out the links for each item, there is a lot more about them on a lot of WWII re-enactment and reselling websites. Again, if I’m off on any other let me know, I’m happy to correct myself.

I’ll have some more of these types of posts on outfits in future, so keep and eye out!

If you want more in the topic, my full research notes on all topics are available for all $3+ Patreon patrons!

Image Sources

Screen captures by D. of SRNY White undershirt and draws | Source Herringbone Twill Jacket, olive drab | Source Herringbone Twill pants, olive drab | Source Canvas leggings | Source Type I Service Shoes | Source

This post comes to you thanks to Patreon supporters at the  ‘Ephemera Club’ level. While this month (Sept) I don’t have any more of the photos, but I do have a collection of items from past months new subscribers can choose from, drop me a message! If you would also like to receive neat, period-appropriate items in the mail each month, you can join the ‘Ephemera Club’ for just $15!

[ Support SRNY through Patreon and Ko-Fi ] And join us on Discord for fun conversation! I also have an Etsy with up-cycled nerdy crafts

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 12

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: fighting and relationship abuse

A/N: sorry for not posting yesterday, was working til late and finishing some uni work so I didn’t even remember to post this. anyway, loving all the feedback, i’m so happy that i get to write for you guys. hope you enjoy xx

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Y/N loved proof reading her fellow colleagues articles, specially because she proof read senior writers articles. It was almost like a masterclass in how to write, how to tell a story, almost no gossiping, just pure good writing. This was the type of writing she wished she could do but there was still a very very long way to go. She stopped looking at her screen to look at her wall, trying to relax her eyes from reading twenty articles so far. Just because they were well written it didn’t mean she really cared about it. She loved writing about pop culture but if she could have anything in the whole world, she would be an essay writer for the New Yorker. However, to reach big dreams you gotta start small and she knew what she had to do. 

She had her headphones on, hitting her pencil against her knee as she read another chunk from another review on a new artists album. It was a rather easy job, just look for typos, look for repetitive words. She was basically an English Teacher correcting various reports. It was good to take her mind off Sebastian and Melody. Maybe Mary was right, maybe she did like him but that was something she did not want, at all. Falling for a rockstar is a rockie mistake, something she promised herself she wouldn’t do yet here she was. 

Y/N was about to fall asleep when a loud crash noise followed by arguing was heard through her walls. She jumped out of the bed, her robe on as she walked out of her bedroom, the sound of arguing getting louder. Mary and Fred were also out of their bedrooms, with very annoyed faces. 

     - It’s alright, Y/N. - Fred spoke as he noticed Y/N out of her bedroom, clearly worried about the arguing sounds. - It’s just Sebastian and Melody. 

    - Are they okay? - she walked over to Mary who was dressed in a baby doll, leaving no question as to why they were annoyed. They had just been, well, interrupted by the fight. 

    - Yeah, it’s normal. They fight a lot. - Mary put her arm around her. - It’s awful, always happens when I’m trying to get some. 

    - Shouldn’t we check on them?

    - No, honey. Things can get quite ugly between them and we don’t like to come in ... - another shattering sound came from the room where Sebastian was staying. Y/N made the choice in that moment to see what was happening and even despite Mary calling her and telling her not to get involved, she marched up to the room pushing the doors open and coming face to face with an incredible mess. There was shattered glass by Sebastian’s side and right now he had his hands up trying to reason with Melody who harshly turned her head to look at Y/N.

   - Do they not teach you manners in NY? - she had a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand and if Y/N didn’t know better, she would’ve thrown it. Y/N turned her head to look at Mary, gesturing at her to join her and the red head rolled her eyes before walking to her. - Four’s a crowd, girls.

   - Why don’t you come with me, honey? - Mary walked up to Melody, holding her by the arm and almost pushing her out of the room, leaving Y/N and Sebastian alone.

Sebastian took a step backwards, sitting on his bed, one half over his left cheek and the other on his forehead as he stared at the ground. The silence was enervating, even more enervating than when he poked fun of her. She walked over to him, taking a place next to him, not exactly knowing what had just happened or what to say. 

   - Are you alright? - she decided to ask a pretty neutral response. Knowing him as she knew him, he was either nice or harsh and she did not like it when he was harsh. He had a specific talent for being the meanest person when acting harsh. 

   - Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N. - he placed his hands on his thighs breathing out. Y/N noticed a small cut on his left cheek, bleeding. It wasn’t bleeding too much, but she understood why he had his left hand on his left cheek.  

   - C’mon, let’s clean that up. - she took his hand and walked over to the bathroom, carefully trying not to step on any glass. She knew there was a first aid kit somewhere in the bathroom and after snooping around every single cabinet and drawer she found a small red caboddle with a white sticker along with the red cross. She pulled it out and placed it on the sink, opening it and took out some antiseptic liquid, cotton rounds and a band-aid. 

Y/N told him to sit by the edge on the bath tube, opened the antiseptic liquid bottle and dipped a cotton round in the liquid. She started to clean the wound but, like a child, he just hissed and pushed her back.

  - That hurt. - he complained before she could ask why was he acting like a baby. - Warn a guy next time.

  - I thought rockstars were into pain. - she went back in again, a look in her eyes that scream don’t try to touch me. 

  - In bed not anywhere else. 

  - Next time we’ll clean your wounds in your bed. - Y/N rolled her eyes again, opening the bandaid and putting it over his wound. He smiled faintly, eyes going up slightly to stare at her as she cleaned up the surroundings. -  There, you’re all set.

  - Thanks, Y/N. - he tried to get up and return to his room but Y/N pushed him back into his seat. - What are you doing?

  - What happened, Sebastian? - she had her hand still on his shoulder, making sure he wouldn’t try and escape. Well, not that he didn’t have enough strength to overcome her hand. However, the look on her face made him weak, that look of worry that he hadn’t seen in ages. - There’s glass all over your room, you have a cut on your cheek, and I saw Melody holding a bottle. 

  - Maybe I like it rough. - he smirked at her but Y/N was far too smart to know that it wasn’t just rough stuff in the bedroom, specially because they were both fully clothed. - Y/N, I’m a big boy, I’m fine. 

  - That coming from your mouth sounds really filthy. - Y/N said, a sly little smile finding itself in her lips making Sebastian roar in laughter, throwing his head back. - Sebastian, we’re worried about you.

 - Who’s we? - he raised his eyebrow at her, one hand holding himself up on the bath tube rail. 

  - Me, Fred, Mary ... I’m not sure about the other boys but they probably are too. - she pushed her her hair behind her hair, hating that it always seemed to get in her peripheral view. - It’s not just a couple’s fight and you know that. 

   - Don’t worry about me, Y/N. - he got up, hand on the nape of his head. His head lower to stare at her, still sitting by the bath tube. - C’mon, don’t look like that. 

  - Like what? - she crossed her arms, standing on her feet to stare at him with a look he didn’t really enjoy. A look of at the same time deep care and disappointment. - That’s abuse, not fighting. 

  - You’re being too dramatic. - he mindlessly held her hair, his fingers intertwining with hers. - Besides, I’ve had my fair share of relationships, I know what to do. 

  - No, you don’t. - she took her hand away from him, holding it against the other hand that was resting against her stomach. 

  - Sebastian! - someone banged on the door, making Y/N silently swear under her breathe. She knew who it was and she was not gonna stand in the line of fire, therefore she removed herself from the room by taking the second door that lead to the hallway. Sebastian didn’t even have time to apologise to her as Melody walked into the room, pushing him against her chest and hugging him. It just didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel warm enough. - Baby, I’m so sorry. I lost my temper.

Y/N walked into her room and leaned against her door, breathing deeply. Her chest felt heavy, she didn’t feel good letting him be alone with her but there was nothing she could do. It wasn’t like she could call university services anymore and have them sit Melody and Sebastian down, it wasn’t like she could sit them down and have a talk. To be completely honest, she felt powerless and she didn’t know why she felt so powerless.

  - Honey. - she could feel someone knocking on the door behind her. - It’s Mary, honey. 

  - Everything alright, Mary? - she opened the door to see the redhead with a sad smile on her lips. 

  - I should be asking you that. - Mary came in and closed the door behind her, leaning against it. - You’re in deep, Y/N.

  - You saw what I saw. 

  - I saw that it bother you more than it bothers him. You know that he would dump her if you told him you liked him.

  - I don’t like him. - Y/N sat on her bed, staring at her friend. - And even if I did, he wouldn’t dump her for me. After all, the reason he’s leaving is because all the boys have someone.

  - Is that what he told you? - she furrowed her eyebrows, and took a seat next to her. 

  - That’s what I assumed. 

  - Honey, that’s not the reason he’s leaving. - Mary sighed. - He’s leaving because of what happened last year.

  - What happened last year?

  - He overdosed.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Reviews: The Shut-In

More Halloween Havoc, whoop woop! The Plantars return just in time for Halloween! It’s Shut-In in Wartwood, their version of halloween, but less of a focus on getting candy and more on getting suplies to protect yourselve and barricade yourself in so the moon dosen’t turn you into a monster. I remain not suprised. To pass the time our heroes tell some true spooky stories and Polly tries to find one they weren’t around for.  Phone-Mo: Anne and humanized versions of Polly, Maddie, and Toady watch a cursed video and soon disappear by one. Nothing ominous about that! Dead End: A young Hop Pop serves as Chauffer for a mysterious man played by george takei and death seems to follow them at every stop. Oh myyyyyyyy.  Skin Deep: Sprig and Ivy go to fetch a lost ball and end up running into the skin stealing seamstress. Arson naturally insues..  It’s Terror Time again, with full recap and spoilers, under the cut. 

Whelp, no dancing around it this airing order is weird. And look airing shit in a weird way has been disney’s past time since the 90′s, Darkwing Duck’s airing order is a waking nightmare, and this very show had all of season 1 air within the span of a month and a week in order to get it on disney plus by launch, star vs had it’s last season burned off in three months, and Ducktales pre-covid flip flopped from airing week to week to just one for some reason and then no others for months. Consitency is not their strong suit is what i’m saying and it’s not new.  And yes I get these holiday special episodes are mecurial: their built specifically to slot in wherever without really upsetting continuity: The Casagrandes recently aired their first season 2 episode before even finishing season 1, so this isn’t just a disney thing, while speaking of disney things ducktales had it’s first proper halloweeen episode air the week before a spring break set episode, with a christmas episode set to air next month. What i’m saying is I get these things sometimes don’t air in production order, but it’s less excuable on Disney’s part here when it’d take airing exactly one episode for this not to be a tad jarring. Not enough that it spoils the episode nor does the episode effect the ongoing story or continuity in any way, so it’s not TERRIBLE but it smacks of lazy incompetence on Disney’s part and I wish they’d do better already. 

Okay that rant out of the way we can dive right in! It’s the annual Shut-In in Wartwood! Basically their verison of halloween but instead of a fun spooky holiday, it’s the annual tradition of getting various things from the neighbors to help stay indoors during the blue moon, which in wartwood turns whoever views into a monster. Because of course their halloween is a fight for suvival. Also theirs pumpkins everywhere with their versions of jack o lanterns being fear gourds which.. okay. Point is instead of candy the kids trick or treating has turned up rusty nails, a hatchet, a first aid kit and anne, winning the night, a flamethrower! On one hand it’s neat these exist in wartwood via fire breathing slugs. On the other I do worry about Anne accidently burning everyone and everything down so please take that from her. 

The Plantars then lock themselves in. To stave off bordeom, Shut-In tradition is to go around the fire and tell each other creepy true stories that happened to them. Polly tries going first but just has the Inn story from last season which they were all there for.. thought hat dosen’t make complete sense as they werent’ awake for all of it and shoudl’ve just let her tell her side of things. But eh it sets up polly’s plot so fair enough. Luckily anne has one. So we get our first tale of terror Terror Tales of the Park/Treehouse of Horror III Styles...

Phone-Mo 

Anne’s story is very clearly made up, though no one really calls her on it and it DOES add elemnts from the domino II story from last season so fair enough.  Rather than use her real friends, which is fair enough since she just sadly had to say goodbye to Marcy and probably isn’t handeling the guilt well and Sasha you know.. tried to stab her a few months back then tried sacrifcing herself for Anne’s own well being. Point is thnking about them is a loaaded issue right now so instead she dreams up human versions of Sprig, Polly, with a bucket on her foot for a shot which is a nice visual gag, as is how we meet them, along with Maddie and for some weird reason Toady. I mean I do get Ivy is in our third story, so fair enough, but they could’ve used.. anyone else. Wally would’ve made more sense honestly and he’s also an adult but he’s also you know Anne’s friend and not some town asshole she vaugley knows. It’s just weird. That said I do love the human designs for everyone and they clearly put a lot of work in knowing the fans would like them, with little touches like Polly having pink hair, sprig having his normal haircut he does under the hat but not covered up and toady’s phone having a little keychain of his amphibia version. Also while they all have diffrent names including Anne I won’t be using them on the grounds that I don’t wanna. 

Anne and the plantars are watching a funny internet video when Toady and Maddie offer to show them one that’s apparently cursed and makes whoever watched it disappear. Sprig talks Anne out of it and keeps her from watching anyway but Polly’s naturally all in. ON the way to class, once sprig is gone, anne ends up watching it and liking it anyway because she has no self control and freely admits it.  Naturally given this is a halloween episode, the others start disapearing, with Maddie coming to anne with support after Toady vanishes which again is just.. weird. It’s just weird to hear anyone car about wether toady lives or dies. It keeps throwing me off. Anne reasssures her but sure enough the second anne’s gone Maddie’s phone eats her alive. Still nice to see her again. Regular Maddie should get a hoodie. Also anne apparently eats the corners of her sandwitch so she dosen’t have to share. Clever girl.  Back at home where Anne continues to mock whoever it is told her she can’t write stories as she makes a gila monster and a flamingo make out, where are they I must hurt them, when Sprig calls panicked that polly is missing and admits i’ts a good thing they ddin’t watch the video.. yeah about that. Sprig is of course freaked, and soon the video pops on anne’s phone and soon the weird cat thing inside comes to life and then turns deadly.. also it turns out it eats the host then forces them to be int he background of the video, which was hinted at earlier with one guy having been in there for 35 years.. despite having a smartphone. Well this is anne’s story I don’t think she knows those didn’t exist once. 

Luckily Anne figures out how to beat it.. in the most hilarious way possible. by disliking it, since liking and commeting linked it to her, she weakens it before finishing it with a rude comment. It’s.. i’ts purespun comedy gold. This frees everyone else and they leave along with sprig.. but eggs are left behind. Dun dun dun.  Final Thoughts on Phone Mo:

First off .. I have no idea what FOMO means so the title left me as lost at first at the plantars... oh okay it’s fear of missing out.. should’ve remebered that from brooklyn nine nine and amy’s legendadrily bad case of it. Aw well a decent story, if the weakest of the three. It does have an incredibly funny conclusion, neat human designs, and an intresting setting given while school stories are common, usually we don’t get that here so it’s a nice break from the norm. But compared to the genuinely chilling with a funny and odd climax next two, it’s just okay. Not bad, but not quite as good.  Back in the present, Polly once again tries this time with children of the spore, once again being shot down though that being said hop pop’s line of “I was responsible for that one” was given a great delvery by charlie addler. Also Anne missed Wally’s birthday and he’s sad. oh Wally. Though i’m sure she’ll make it up to him.. at least he’s back home. So anyways speaking of HOp Pop, it’s his turn for a story...

Dead End:  And it’s a story from Hop Pop’s Youth! Given we’ve never SEEN hop pop beyond his present day and only heard the ocasional scrap, it’s REALLY nice to hear. It dosen’t tell us a ton more granted, but we at least see what he looked like, get to hear charlie adler use a slightly less aged voice for him and get to see him with a luxrious golden mane of johnny bravo hair, which is as hilaroius and glorious as it sounds. 

Back in those days Hop Pop was a coachman. He still had the farm, but given how tight things are now it’s not a stretch to assume he could always use some extra coppers to keep his family we never get to know about besides the grandkids fed. He also prides himself on honest work, not taking payment till the rides finished and the customer is satisfied which is INCREIDBLY risky, but I do kinda get it both for Hopidah’s sense of honor and because it seems clear he mostly does it in town by the fact all his stops this ep are within wartwood or close enough, so clearly it’s mostly people he knows personally.  This time though the rider is the well dressed, crimson red Mr. Littlepot, played by George Takei. Best known for Star Trek, being out and proud and since coming out after years and years in the closet, using his celebrity to help promote gay rights and other good stuff. He’s also known for saying ohhhh myyy and this clip from futurama. 

I got a lot of respect for the guy, He was even in archie comics once after Kevin Keller was introduced. So it’s nice to see him doing some voice work and he kills it here.. pun intended but more on that in a sec. Littlepot has some simple rule: keep driving no matter what hapepned where he was.. and given both places he ends up have someone dying, once by a horrifying looking snake, it’s clear somethings up. IT also nicely builds the tension as hop pop tries to steady himself, but is clearly cracking as he realizes his client might be murdering people he knows.. and he could be next. As Hopidiah KNOWS each person Littlepot visits and it nicely ratches up the tension. But turns out he’s not a killer.. he’s simplyd eath himself come to collect those already about to die. 

It’s a nice twist: The genuine trappings of the guy make you think h’es some form of the devil, the crimson skin, yellow eyes and cultured demanor.. it’s only as he goes you start to realize what the man actually is and even then he easily could still be frog satan. But no he’s just the frog reaper and defends himself to Hop Pop when confronted: He’s just doing his job, just like Hopidiah, getting people where they need to be. Unforutnately for Hop Pop his final stop is the farm.. though thankfully for him he hasnt come for Hopidiah.. just his hair. Yeah it’s a nice comedic twist on an otherwise chiling and well done story that what the devil came to take is his hair.. which he starts wearing hilariously. So Hop Pop lives but sobs, and Anne points out it was pretty fucked up. 

Final Thoughts for Dead End:  Not much to say. This one was dripping with atmosphere, Takei was utterly awesome and need to do more voice work, and the comedic ending twist was really damn funny. Top notch. 

Polly tries again, gets shut down again and is now really understandably frustrated at not having a story. Naturally given the other plantars have gone though, Sprig does. And he dosen’t have at itle at first until one cuts him off ....

Skin Deep:

Ivy’s Back! 

Yeah I was genuinely worried the return ep would break up either her and sprig or hop pop and silvia.. and while the second one remains a horrifying sword of damocles over my head, Sprig and Ivy are fine and Ivy gets a nice spotlight episode here. It was a pleasant surprise to get some fresh info since i’tll be months till we find out anything else.  So the young couple are playing bugball down at the old courts, when a couple of guys they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neghborhood. Sprig got in one little fight and Hop Pop got scared he said “your moving with your auntie and uncle to bell air”. He begged and pleaded day after day but Hop Pop packed his suit case and sent him on his way. He gave him a kiss and then he gave him a ticket Sprig put his walkman on and thought he might as well kick it. First class yo this ain’t bad, drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of bel air live like, yo, this might be alirght!   He whistled for a cab and when it came near the liscene plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror, if anything he could say that this cab was rare but he thought man forget it yo holmes to bell air. He pulled up to the cab about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabbie yo holmes smell ya later. He looked at his kingdom and he was finally there to sit on his throne as the fresh prince of bell air. 

So then Will walked into the mansion and wait.. wrong show.. so the young couple are playing bugball when they loose their ball, and it goes off into the creepy part of the woods. Ivy also looses her hat and is self concious about her hair. Looks fine to sprig but she’d rather not. Aww she’s insecure. But the two head off with Sprig getting more and more nervous, as Ivy details a legend about the area of the seamstress, a mysterious recluse who steals your skin! Naturally Sprig is nettled while Ivy says it’s fine and does what anyone would do upon finding out the ball went into a creepy abandoned shack in a world where it’s clear murderers are pretty common: kick down the door! It’s the perfect crime. 

Naturally Sprig gets more unernved, finding a set of needles and thread, which gets a great gag as Ivy points out that’s nto that uncommon.. but the giant pile of skin they find sure is!

Oh.. it gets worse me. Sprig finds the ball. and the Seamstress who has a horrifying patchwork of skins on her and wants to add theirs.. the kids are naturally spooked and prepare to flee but she wants their skin and grabs ivy! Thankfully she breaks free and Sprig busts some off.. OH GOD.. and it turns out she’s a glass frog! .. turns out theres a kind of frog that has translucent skin.

But yeah obvoiusly the show takes it a step further, and her skin is entirely see through. Poor girl. Ivy sympathizes shows off her hair.. then puts her hat over the Seamstress’ eyes and tells sprig now, and sprig starts a fire, and the two start to escape when he grabs Ivy’s leg!

Thankfully Ivy breaks free and the two leave her to die. Sprig compliments ivy’s hair, ivy gets him a smooch it’s all adorable and they defintely murdered someone who defintely murdered a lot of people. Horay!

Naturally the rest of the family is freaked out by this with Anne wanting to know if ivy being bitten means sh’es infected and Hop Pop wanting to know if one of her skins was his friend fred he hasn’t seen in a while. Sprig then spooks them by having ivy show up, complete with a burlap frog skin.. maybe. She could’ve been lying. We dunno. Ivy heads home to risk her life for a good gag, depsite the fact her boyfriend’s house is right there and her mom and grandmom clearly had to sign off on this shenanigan given the night. But this life risking prank naturally risks some life as Polly has ran off to look at the moon to get her own story. The rest of hte family runs after her only tfind it did.. ntohing. She’s apparently fine just fine and they assure her the fear they felt thinking she might become some kind of monster was scarier than any story and the rest of them head home with polly following.. after transofrming. Turns out the moon DOES make you into monsters but she’s fine with it. She’s got her legs now! Everyone screams understandably, Anne finally realizes this isn’t quite a holiday the end. 

Final Thoughts on Skin Game and the special as a whole: Easily my faviorite, partly for shipping reasons as I do like Ivy and Sprig together, and partly because it really let Ivy have a roll OTHER than sprig’s love intrest. Sure she still smooched his cheek and their clearly still together, but she got to be proactive, badass and hilariously impulsive and trollish. It was a nice change of pace and the story itslef was the best of the bunch to me becuase of that, though Dead End was really close.  Overall this was a nice treat, a good anthology with lots of fright and humor and a nice wraparound story arc with polly, as well as some nice call backs to previous episodes. An utterly excellent halloween special i’ll probably be revisiting every year and another slam dunk from disney this year. The airing snaufu really dosen’t hurt it any and in the future this one will likely be after Return to Wartwood on D+ anyway so no harm done. Great all around. If you liked this review follow me for more amphibia whenever it comes back, ducktales reviews every monday, and loud house reviews every saturday or sunday depending. And until next time stay safe, stay spooky and happy halloween!

[kit-just-kit]

A,E,F,K,P,S,Z!

NSFW A-Z!

A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?)

*Answered here!*

E - Extra info (any other fetishes? feet? leather? role playing? blood? fantasies that they might want to experience not on this list?

*Oh maaaaaan. Umm, I think the biggest kink of Kits on this very substantial list, would be honesty! If a man is totally and 100% honest with her, she couldn’t deny them anything. On a more physical point, is eye contact through orgasm - both his and hers*

F - Food play (do they like using food in the bedroom? are there any foods they prefer to use during sex or foreplay? any they’d like to try?

*Hell yes! The all time favourite would be chocolate sauce - because it goes with literally everything! Kit is also quite curious about peanut butter during sex (along with the chocolate sauce obsv) but fears the ‘chunkier’ brands might present some issues*

K - Kissing (what parts of their body do they like having kissed? what parts of their partner do they enjoy kissing? do they like leaving marks / having marks left on them?)

*There aren’t many parts of her body she doesn’t like having kissed to be fair, but preferably her throat, between her breasts and along the inside of her thighs (I’m sure you can guess why for that one). Light marks are okay, but only where can be covered by clothing when needed*

P - Photography (are cameras allowed in the bedroom? do they send nudes? do they ask for nudes? would they ever record themselves having sex / being caught up in a sexual act?)

*Cameras in the bedroom would only be with someone who she trust implicitly to never share whatever is caught on film, but if she did then sure. The same with sending full nudes but partial nudes are basically extended flirting, right?. Recording sex with a loved and trusted partner is definitely a kink of hers though and she would actively suggest this as a fun activity for them both to share and have the memory (and recording) of*

S - Sleepy sex (do they give oral to wake their partner up? do they like receiving oral to wake up? do they like fucking their partner awake? being fucked awake? how about being fucked to sleep at night? do they have lazy morning sex?)

*Yes, but only when she knows that the partner both likes and wants that. Big yes to getting it - no better alarm clock. Actual ‘fucking awake’ implies that it begins with one partner being asleep - therefore, no consent expressly given. That being the case, the next two would be no’s. Honestly being fucked asleep would be very hard to achieve as Kit’s reaction to orgasms leaves her far too wired to sleep. So if you do manage to sex her to sleep, it probably means you ain’t doing it right lol. And finally - LAZY MORNING SEX IS THE BESTEST! Do that with her as often as possible please?*

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?

*Apart from the blindingly obvious - her throat, shoulder blades (from behind her and specifically biting), hands - particularly intertwining fingers and kisses to the palms, the backs of her knees and inner-elbows, along her spine, raking your nails over her scalp and scratching anywhere on her back*

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home (Gavin Reed x Reader)

Chapter 2

Read: Chapter 1 here!

         I had just left my apartment a little after 11 am and started walking towards the university. I couldn’t help but to think about lunch yesterday. I was surprised how well it went; my dad seems like a totally different person from when I last saw him. Connor has been really good for him, almost like a son and Connor seemed to look up to him like a father figure. As I walked towards my office, I wondered if that meant eventually, I would think of Connor as a brother.

         I walked into the Faculty Administration Building and up two floors to reach my office. As I got closer to my office I noticed Nines was standing patiently outside the door.

         “Oh! Nines, if I knew you were waiting, I would have come sooner!” I rushed over to the door and unlocked it. I walked in and he followed.

         “I wasn’t waiting long, Dr. (L/n).” I sat at my desk and gestured for him to sit across from me.

         “Nines, please you can call me (Y/n). I really prefer it.” He nodded. “So, what can I do for you?”

         “I wanted to talk about one of your earlier papers. You wrote a piece about the Stanford Prison Experiment and how you didn’t believe, at the time, the results would be any different with androids. However, deviancy wasn’t a known problem. I’m quite curious on how you reached that conclusion.” Nines leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees.

         “Wow, that is an old paper. That was one of my first in grad school, I’m surprised you found it. Well, Zimbardo found that regular college students in the role of the guards allowed power to go to their heads and they mistreated the ‘prisoners’ even though they were all very similar. I mention this in the paper, but I do think it would depend on the type of android and if everyone in the simulation is an android or if some are human. For example, if the guards were all AX400 models and the prisoners are human, I don’t believe we would get the same results. However, let’s say we remove the androids LEDs and mix them with humans, where the humans don’t know who is human or android and there’s a varying mix between each group in the role of the guards and the role of the prisoner, we would get the same results. Even without deviancy, the androids would know who is human and who isn’t, so if they are in the role of the guard, they would follow the lead of the others. On the other side, androids who were not deviant would comply with any mistreatment and therefore wouldn’t fight back from the guards.” Glancing at Nines, his stare was extremely intense and made me a little nervous. I’ve had to defend my papers to a lot of different individuals, in and out of academia, but never had to do so in a one on one conversation like this. 

         “What about now? If you could run the experiment?” He asked.

         “Well, I wouldn’t. The Stanford Prison experiment was highly unethical and did a lot of damage to the psyche of many of the participants. I wouldn’t cause that pain on humans or androids. Hypothetically speaking, I believe the results we would get would be the same as Zimbardo’s. Especially now, many androids have removed their LED and it’s sometimes difficult to pick out androids versus humans in a line up.”

         “What if they were all androids?”

         “Well, if this is before deviancy, I would say nothing out of the ordinary would happen. But today we do have android on android crime, so it’s reasonable to assume that similar emotions will arise from Zimbardo’s experiment.”

         “Yes, that makes sense.” Nines nodded and leaned back, seeming content with my answers for now.

         “I’m glad I could answer those questions for you. May I ask you one?” He paused for a few seconds before answering.

         “That seems fair.”

         “Why are you curious about this?”

         “It’s simple really. You’re one of the few people in academia who write about androids and more specifically android behavior. You’ve also been studying this the longest out of anyone I’ve seen, and you approach the subject objectively which can be hard to come by. It’s part of my job to understand human and android behavior and I would consider you an expert on the topic.”

         “Well, I don’t know how many of my peers would agree that I’m objective when it comes to my research, but it seems to come with the territory. What prompted you to come visit me so soon?”   

         “Detective Reed takes his lunch break from 11 to 12:15, since I don’t eat, I normally sit in the precinct. Recently Captain Fowler has asked me to actually leave the building for my break like Connor. For some reason, I think it upsets him seeing me sit there and not move. If it is alright with you, may I visit again tomorrow during this time?”

         “I don’t see why not, but Nines we don’t have to only talk about sociology. I would like to get to know you too.” Looking at him I noticed he barely turned his head, if I hadn’t been looking at him there’s no way I would have noticed. I wonder if he picked that up from Connor or if it was in both of their programming?

         “I’ve told you, I’m the RK900 model and I work with Detective Reed at the Detroit Police Department.” I sighed.

         “How about this, for every sociology question you ask me, I get to ask you something in return. About you or your opinion on something?” Nines looked at me unblinking for about thirty seconds before finally answering.

         “That seems fair. Do you have a question now?” I tried hiding my smile from him, it was always so rewarding to get androids who have stuck to their programming, despite being deviant, to talk about themselves.

         “Do you like working for the DPD?” I asked.

         “Of course, it’s what I was made to do.”

         “Yes, but do you LIKE working for the DPD?”

         “I don’t understand the difference you’re trying to get me to make.”

         “If you could work at a different police department, would you?”

         “No. The city has a high number of cases to solve and as difficult as he can be, working with Detective Reed is another challenge that has been interesting to solve.”

         “What do you mean?”

         “Well, when we were first partnered, he refused to even discuss cases with me. Overtime he’s seemed to warm up, maybe because I can finish both of our case paperwork in less than an hour. However, I have noticed unlike Connor and Lieutenant Anderson, Detective Reed doesn’t get upset with me when I use my forensics kit. He doesn’t like androids, but I think he prefers me to Connor.”

         “Well, Connor did knock him out apparently.” I said with a smile and I swore Nines’ lips twitched for a second as if he was going to smile.

         “Detective Reed will be returning from lunch soon.” Nines said while standing up, “I need to return to the precinct before he does.”

         “Does he get mad at you if he has to wait on you?”

         “No. However, it is easier to tease him about being late rather than teasing him for being on time.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Nines comment.

         “Before you go, here’s my card. It has my email, school phone, and my cell phone. In case you have any pressing questions. Please send me a message, so if something happens and I cannot make it before one of our meetings I can let you know.” Nines nodded and his LED flashed yellow.

         “I sent you a message. Have a good day Dr…. I mean (Y/n).” He said turning towards the door.

         “You too Nines! I look forward to our conversation tomorrow!” As Nines left, I relaxed in my chair. With this new job, many of my coworkers seemed hesitant to talk to me about my research, maybe they believed I was too radical. It felt nice having someone ask questions about my work and to show a genuine interest. I looked at my cell phone and giggled at his message.

          This is Nines, the RK900 android that works at the DPD

          Part of me wanted to poke fun at him, because of course I would know it was him, but I didn’t want to alienate him in any way. I looked at my other text messages to see what else I had missed during my walk and conversation with Nines.

          Hey! Me and some people from the precinct are going to get drinks at Jimmy’s bar around 7pm. Do you want to come? I think Connor’s going. Hank’s been trying to get him to hang out with people his “own age”.

          I bite my lip, I have been wanting to hang out with Tina, but I don’t know if I’m ready for questions on why I disappeared. I looked at my phone and decided to text Connor first.

          Hey, are you going to Jimmy’s tonight? Tina invited me and said you may be coming?

          Connor immediately responded.

          Lieutenant Anderson is forcing me to go. He said he was going to lock me outside the house until it was an “unreasonable time to be home”. Do you know what that means?

          Haha yeah. He wants you to hang out with other people, I guess. Branch out and make some friends. If you want, I can go with you and if it’s lame, we can just walk around and tell my dad we spent the whole time at the bar. 

          Yes, I think if you were there it may be better. I’ve tried going before, but I was the only android. I believe I made Detective Reed uncomfortable with my presence since I can’t drink, and he believes I record every conversation.

 Alright, well Jimmy’s is closer to the precinct, so I’ll meet you there around 6:45?

 Are you alright walking here alone? It would be no trouble for me to come to the university or your apartment first.

 It’ll be okay. It’s a short walk! I’ll see you at 6:45 in the lobby!

 Okay.

 I sighed gently, I had to go now. There was certainly no backing out now, unless I wanted to hurt Connor’s feelings. I swiped back to Tina’s message.

 I’ll be there.

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 57: Wasting Time with a New Friend

Lotor makes some new friends. Together, they discover that word of Lance and Keith's union has reached video game developers in the worst, best way.

Featuring Leakira in the role of comic relief (Not to offend Leakira fans, this is meant to be a fun, happy place. I just thought it might be funny little detail) XD

First  Previous  Next

Lotor finds them sleeping in a hallway. A much-needed distraction.

More specifically, it’s an adolescent Olkari with orange feelers, dressed in green and white garb stained with red dust. They’re incredibly small, even for a smaller species. Pretty adorable, like a wolf cub.

So obviously he nudges them with his foot.

“Can I help you?” the kit growls, amber eyes glaring up at him.

“You’re sleeping in a hallway.”

“And? What’s your point?”

“... You know what? I’m not really sure.”

With a groan, the kit sits up, tugging on their feelers. “So what are you up to, Mr. Prince?”

“Oh not much. Wandering around, looking for trouble.” He’s actually looking for a distraction, but that’s almost the same thing as trouble.

“Trouble, huh?” The Olkari smirks. “I’m Pidge. Lance’s resident tech genius and vent crawler- I mean spy.”

“Ah-haha, I see. You’re one of his ‘associates’.” Lotor grins, helps Pidge to their feet.

“Yes. Working for Lance usually involves some level of trouble. What are the princes up to today, anyway?”

“Lance is with Allura. She’s having a hard morning. Keith is with Thace, our emergency medic and reproductive specialist.”

“Oh, really? Making sure his junk works?”

“That’s the idea. Why?”

“It’d be awesome to have some dirt on Keith. He’s just so perfect.” Pidge skips down the hallway, a curious prince following behind them. “The worst thing he’s done is drink a bit too much, find his happy place at a party, and get really snuggly with Lance.”

Following Pidge into what should have been an old, empty storeroom, Lotor’s eyes widen in surprise. The typically ignored room is set up with monitors and a work table covered with Balmeran crystals and a few other tools.

“Where did you get some of these tools?” he asks, eyeing a choice laser of Galra design.

“I crawled through the tunnels underneath the actual labs and stole them. I’m welcome in the labs, of course. I just don’t want to share my work with them. The field of science is rife with thieves.”

“You found the tunnels already?” Lotor stares. There are tunnels all under the mountain, his ancestors making the massive peak into an insect hive. There are escape tunnels and hidden caches and underground pools and even a forge made of volcanic glass that he discovered as a small boy.

He still likes to go down there on the rare occasion he can find the time. Someday, he’ll take his children down there, and tell them all about the stories carved into the ancient walls.

“Yep! Anyway, let’s see if I can hack into Thace’s equipment. And by that I mean give me like, thirty ticks because I can definitely do it.” While Pidge types away on their computer, Lotor sits himself on the floor, eyeing a faint square cut into the stone. Most people don’t notice, don’t know to look for the fine edges carved into the floor. “Ooh… Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?” Lotor asks. “Is Keith okay?”

“You really care for him, don’t you?” Amber eyes smile at him, intuitive.

“Of course I do! He’s my cousin! And my friend!” And he has more than his fair share of health problems. Lotor himself was not a healthy kit, so he understands the worries that his cousin might have.

“Aw-w. You’re just a big ol’ sweetheart, aren’t ya?” Pidge turns back to their computer. “What’s interesting is that Keith is… surprisingly healthy. His weight and body mass index are good… Thace is optimistic about a successful pregnancy.”

“Why is that interesting?” Lotor scratches his head, frowning a little.

“Because our boys requested contraceptives, probably due to health concerns.”

“Miscarriage risks are higher for him. That’s partially due to his sex, and partially due to his condition. Do you think they’ll use contraceptives?”

“Pfft. No. They’re young, they’re stupid, and they both want pups. I doubt Lance can keep it in his pants.”

“What about Keith?”

“He’s shy.” Pidge shrugs like that explains everything. It kind of does. Keith’s priorities are probably more of the cuddling variety than the ‘aggressive hugging’ variety. “Can I have some of your blood?”

“Hm? Uh… How much blood?”

“I dunno. A few vials? Maybe I’ll swab your cheek too? It might help with my experiments.”

“And what might those be?”

“I’m trying to invent Altean-friendly prosthetics. It’s not going well. Alteans are stupid inside and out.” Pidge gathers their tools to stick him, and Lotor stares. This tiny little Olkari is far more than they appear. “Who do you think will kill Lance for getting Keith pregnant? Krolia or Shiro?”

But they're young, still playful and carefree.

“Hm… My money’s on Krolia. Or the creepy friend.”

“Adam? Oh, he’s softer than he looks. More likely he’ll live vicariously through their children and terrorize anyone who tries to mess with them.” Pidge sticks a swab in his cheek as they fill a second vial with his blood. “Your fangs are adorable.”

“Thanks?” Lotor regards them. “So you do science, you do people… What don’t you do?”

“Relationships.” Pidge cleans the crook of his arm, bandaging the spot where they bled him. “And genders. Those are for more primitive individuals.”

Lotor laughs. “More highly evolved, are you?”

“Exactly. Unlike Alteans. Stupid, scaley assholes with stupid, cranky cells.”

“I don’t get it. What exactly is the problem?” Lotor peers over Pidge’s shoulder as they examine his cells under their microscope.

“Not sure, but Alteans have some odd properties that make their biology incompatible with metal, coral, bone, wood, and other prosthetic materials. When used, the Altean’s cells refuse to accept the forgein material, even if it’s biocompatible. Hence, their cells are stupid.”

“So it would seem. How are my cells?”

“Hm… I'll have to run some of my own, secret tests. I may try to culture your skin cells to figure out how it all works.”

“Have at it. Can I interest you in a secret?”

“Always!” The young Olkari’s eyes shine, eager to learn. To know. A person after his own heart.

“Most of Altea’s technology is rediscovered. Thousands of decaphoebs ago, there was what’s known as The Forgetting. The Altean’s powers were quite suddenly drastically altered, and their society descended into chaos. Much of their technology was lost, then rediscovered within the last few milophoebs.”

“No fucking way!”

“Way. This includes their lauded Teludav technology.”

“Those fakers! How have I not heard of this?”

“I know! It’s their best kept secret. Also, beneath Mount Sil’brana is a petrified forest.”

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Pidge makes a note on their datapad. “I wonder… I don’t know if I could interface with that or not. Probably not, since it’s no longer organic, but then again perhaps I could reach the echo?”

“Echo?”

“All organic life leaves behind an echo. Sometimes, I can reach that echo. I’d be great at solving murders!”

“Well, if ever I am murdered, do find my killer. I’m sure my wife would appreciate it.”

“Unless she did the murdering,” Pidge snickers.

“Some days, it wouldn’t surprise me at all. She’d say it’s my fault, but…”

“Pregnancy.”

“Yeah. How do you think Keith will be when he gets pregnant?”

“He’s relatively mild-mannered as long as Lance keeps him happy, so either unbelievably psychotic or unbearably sweet.”

“He is really sweet. I honestly didn’t expect it when he first arrived. Lance is a little… He’s reserved, but also high-strung at the same time?”

“He definitely can be. But he can also be very playful. Those two are either quiet and reserved together, or cutting up and goofing off together. But Lance is the high-strung one, for sure. Keith just wants to know whose head to crack open. Lance wants to know every single little detail about everything.”

“So he’s a control freak.”

“Little bit, yeah. We’ve all got our thing.” Pidge smiles. “But Lance gave me a home when mine was lost. He had no reason to do that. He didn’t know what I was capable of.”

“I had assumed you were on Altea for research?” Lotor's curious, but won't push.

“No. Though I do enjoy research. For example, I have the new Phantasm Killbot game. I just got to the first visual novel part where they introduce the characters and their little side plots and all. Wanna help me out? For research?” The Olkari holds up a controller.

“Yeah alright. Anything for research.” Lotor takes the controller, waits for the character introduction screen. He’s played this game before. “Player one… Leandro.”

“Player Two… Akira.”

The screen loads.

“Uh… That’s… Interesting. Is that- Does that look like Lance to you?” It really does, at least to Lotor. The only difference is that ‘Leandro’ has brown hair and his scales are a very pale blue.

“Wow, that’s weird. Okay. Let’s see where this goes- Oh my fuck, this is going to be good.”

Lotor can’t help but agree, staring at a screen of a smirking ‘Leandro’ lounging with a wide-eyed Galra presumably named ‘Akira’. The Galra has purple hair and golden irises, dressed in what might loosely be referred to as clothing.

It’s exceptionally weird, even weirder given that Akira is the name of Keith’s father, Lotor’s uncle.

“I cannot wait to tell my cousin about this,” Lotor breathes, coming to the realization of exactly what’s before him.

“Yes! We have to! Right now!” Pidge stands, tugs on his arm.

“Well, let’s not be too hasty.” Lotor stares at the screen, that mischievous part of his brain clicking and whirring. “I mean, we have to do our research, right?”

“You know…” Pidge taps their chin. “You might be onto something.”

“I mean it’s just courtesy, right? Making sure we can give them all the information we possibly can?”

“You’re absolutely right. Okay, so you get first choice for dialogue and it looks like Not-Keith has a prompt for us.”

“Oh, gods. Okay, I am so sorry, Keith… Let’s see, here.”

…

Akira: We can’t keep meeting like this. What if people find out?

Leandro: I’m a prince, my sweet. I do what I want.

Akira: But you could be killed!

Leandro: You’re worth dying for.

Leandro: It’s my fault, anyway. I just couldn’t resist you.

Akira: It’s not your fault. I let you have me.

Leandro: You should let me have you again.

Akira: Please… I need it…

*Kiss Passionately*

Leandro: Oh, my sweet. You’re in season!

Akira: Make love to me, and I will give you a son.

…

“I feel dirty,” Lotor mutters. “This is what’s passing for entertainment right now?”

“It’s so bad! I love it!” Pidge snickers.

“Lance is going to be mortified.”

“No, he won’t.” The two new friends turn to see Adam leaning in the doorway, smirking.

“And why, pray tell, is that?” Lotor asks, one eyebrow almost reaching his hairline.

“Lance is bigger than that. He’ll be filled with a sense of… well-being.”

“Oh, gross! Adam!” Pidge chucks a wrench at the Altean’s head, the trio laughing as he dodges, then retrieves it for them. “I don’t want to hear about my friend’s dick!”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, and I hate it.” Pidge drags Adam to the floor, sits in his lap. “Okay, you can help us. What should Leandro say next? ‘A daughter would be fine’ or ‘Honor me with the gift of your flesh’?”

“Who the quiznak wrote this?” Adam mutters. “And we want ‘Honor me with the gift of your flesh.’”

“I don’t know, but I will find out. And kill them,” Lotor mutters.

“Easy on the instincts, Mr. Prince.” Pidge continues to the next cut scene.

“It’s nothing to do with instincts! I just hate that I had to read that!” Lotor sighs. “At least that cut scene is over. Now we have… Brothers, Sven and Kuron? Lots of new characters for this one.”

Adam blinks, gaping at the screen. “What. The fuck-”

...

Allura sighs, running a hand through her loose curls. It's been a rough morning, one that doesn't promise to get easier. A howling chorus of laughter cuts through her stressed thoughts. Cracking open a storeroom, she spies her husband, Adam, and Pidge laughing away at a video game.

"I wOuLd DiE fOr AkIrA," Pidge mocks, cackling.

"Leandro, please!" Lotor laughs, cutting through a false simper as he pretends to swoon. "I couldn't live without you!"

"That's such a toxic sentiment, honestly." Adam shakes his head, but his eyes are glittering bright.

Shaking her head, Allura leans in the doorway, settling a hand on her slightly protruding stomach. Life is never perfect, not for anyone. But seeing her husband playing around and having fun with their friends -his new friends- suggests that everything might still turn out alright. Or at least, not as awful as it sometimes seems.