#also this was so fun and easy to draw and i didn't stress at all so it's a good vibes drawing!

[otherone12]

Oh, Baby... You're Mine (part 4)

Vampire!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Heyy!! I was supposed to be doing my homework, but It's much more fun to write this. So if I fail geography, it's all your fault for encouraging me to write lmao.  Well, this is the 4th part of this fic… hope u like it <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! What if i post fics with Teacher x Student dynamic? Also, do you want me to post headcanons?)

if u didn't read, here's the part1, part2 & part3

Summary: He finally let you out, but external interventions made things take a bad turn. (no spoilers here)

- Word Count: 4.190 (holly shit)

- Warnings: She/her pronouns. Kidnap, pet names, degradetion, spanking, stockholm syndrome! AFAB SMUT! (probably a bit cringe, sorry)

> DEAD DOVE!!!! < IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF CONTENT, DON'T READ!!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: Sorry for the smut, i'm not used to write this, i'm still learning already. (:

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

Getting used to him is not that easy i thought it'll be. Most of the time I just lay on his chest and listen to him talk about how many years he lived, or posing to him to draw me. Don't get me wrong, it is not like it wasn't nice… is kinda good, but is boring. I miss my old life, my friends, my family, and the more time passes, the worse this longing becomes.  

Days turned to weeks, and the walls were gradually filled with drawings he had made of me. Various drawings, from sketches to elaborate paintings in color or just in graphite, in several different poses. I can't look at myself in a mirror, thanks to him, but he makes me feel so good when I see the way he sees me.

Even then, I started to involuntarily show my boredom of being locked in a small room. Was a pretty room, but there's nothing to do in there, except for being with Gerard. 

Sometimes he disappeared for hours and came back with gifts. Pretty clothes, necklaces, rings, shoes… It is weird how he always chose the right things. But, again, when he got out I spent hours doing nothing. Looking at the roof and waiting him to come back, or to allowed to get out of that fucking room.  

Another normal day was about to end so, like every day, I was laid on his arms, in silence, until he broke it, with his voice almost whispering in my ear. 

- Are you okay, baby? - He asked in a sweet tone - you’ve been so quiet these days.

- I'm fine… but honestly, I'm bored. - I sighed, speaking with all my sincerity - like, there's nothing to do here.

- I'm not enough for you?

I shivered when his words reached my ears, feeling the kindness leaving his voice. 

- I didn't mean that… I just wanna… - I kinda whine - get out a bit, y'know? 

I turned my head to face him, batting my eyes a couple of times.

- Sorry, princess… - he laughed, with an obvious tone of mockery, but still with a growing sense of stress  - I can't let you go out.

- So you don't trust me? 

My first mistake was trying to start an argument with him. So I received what I deserve, a dry, harsh cut coming from him.

- Not at all

- Why?!

My second mistake was almost yelling. 

- 'Cause you didn't prove to me that you can be trusted!

Gerard shouted, squeezing my arm that he had previously been caressing. The pain wasn't much, but it was still bothersome enough to make me stressed and try to argue even more.

- But i-

- End of conversation! - He yelled, cutting me off. His eyes got dark. Huffing he continued - You're so annoying sometimes! 

I rolled my eyes and the loud silence filled the room, again. He tried to alleviate the weight of the situation by caressing my body and holding me even more tight. 

I understand why he doesn't trust me, and I didn't blame him for that, but he could be a bit more comprehensive, like... he keeps me here with nothing! Not even a television! I have the right to feel bored and want to get out. 

The deadly silence lasted for several minutes, but was again cut short by the unexpected sound of his voice.

- I'm sorry… 

I didn't respond. I think part of me would like to just say it was okay and let it go, but I still can't get over how much his mood swings are. 

- I didn't mean to yell at you… 

No matter how hard he tried to sound nice, I wouldn't respond. He noticed I was still uncomfortable with him, so he took a deep breath and kept trying.

- Look… - he sighed, looking defeated, but a sort of kindness emanated from his voice - Maybe we can go out to have dinner tomorrow…

I didn't expect him to actually agree to hang out, but apparently my silence left him hurt and a little desperate for my forgiveness. Anyway, I was really happy that he gave in.

- Really?!

I exclaimed, my expression changed completely from disappointment to joy. 

- I'm gonna be with you, and you'll have to behave. - He warned, severely - But if you want to…

- Yes! - more than immediately I agreed, after all any agreement would be better than remaining locked up there  - Please! 

- Well, well… - a small smile appeared on his lips and with a hum of gratitude he concluded - so I think we have a date, darling.

- Thanks, Gee! - I turned in his arms, coming close to his face and kissing his cheek. He blushed again…he looks so cute when he blushes. Well, with all this talk, doubts began to arise in my mind. - But… as a vampire, can we eat normal things?

- Sure - It's strange how he manages to appear calm - We don't need to, but we can…

- What about garlic? Can we eat it?

- Yeah… - He chuckled, as if I were asking something obvious. - But take it easy on it.

Apparently, he had already changed one hundred percent from crazy to good boyfriend, so I decided to get a bit far.

- Can we… Still get high?

- Not as much as a human, but yes, we can. - he responded normally, but his curiosity came across a bit harshly - Why?

- Maybe I'm asking for too much… - I made my best puppy eyes, and using my cutest tone.  - But… Can we go to a bar after dinner?

He raised one eyebrow, laughing a little, making it clear that I was almost over the edge, and that he was the one who commanded. 

- I'll see about that.

I smiled at him, I hugged him a little and buried myself in his body. He kissed my forehead, giving me a little hope that we could actually have a proper date night. 

 *** time skip ***

finally the time has come for me to start getting ready, I put on that dress he gave me a few days ago. a necklace, which matches perfectly with the promise ring he gave me. I love the way he always chooses beautiful clothes, mainly because he is an artist and understands color palettes and cuts of clothes. 

He was with me in the room, I was already used to him watching me change clothes, but his indiscreet looks still made me a little embarrassed. The good part about him being there is that I was able to ask him to close the zipper on the back of the dress. 

After putting on the dress, I stared at him for a few moments, while he continued to button the black shirt over his pale chest. He started to fix his collar, and I walked towards him calmly. 

- Gee… can you help me, please? 

I swept my hair to the side, leaving my back free so he could zip it up.

- Sure, princess! 

His hands, that he made a point of touching my skin passing them over the parts of my back where the dress did not cover, while closing it. As soon as the zipper reached the top, his arms wrapped around my waist, and his lips met my neck, kissing softly. 

- So beautiful… - Gerard whispered in my ear and I let out a smile. He rocked me a bit, with his chin on my shoulder. 

I hummed, almost moaning, and he let out a victorious grin. 

- Darling, can you help me with my tie? 

- Sure, babe. - seconds after I finished speaking, I realized the nickname I used, by accident. 

-  What did you say? 

His surprise, mixed with a bit of mockery and pride, embarrassed me a little, but I knew that sooner or later this would end up happening, taking into account my feelings towards him. 

I turned to fix the red tie he had already placed around his neck, and he got closer holding my hips.

- I said ‘sure’ 

I muttered, focusing only on the tie. When it was finally finished, Gerard holded my chin, making me face him. His hazel eyes glowed and his lips reached mine. These little moments with him make it seem like time outside simply doesn't pass, which is ironic because even if time passes, it doesn't make any difference to us. 

- Liked the nickname, by the way… - still with our lips together, he smirked and continued - But I would prefer it if you used a stronger one… 

I moved away from him a little, laughing. 

- A stronger one? - I asked, playfully -  Like what?

- I don't know… - He spoke as if he was seriously thinking about the answer, until his expression changed to a mischievous grin - “daddy”?

It was pretty obvious he was joking, so I followed suit and took it as a joke, laughing and moving away from him to get my bag. 

- Never gonna happen. 

He unlocked the door and held my hand with unnecessary strength. I was already holding his hand, but his insecurity was obvious when we walked through the bedroom door. 

I had never seen the living room or any other room in the house, but they all followed the same gothic aesthetic, but unlike the bedroom, which remained clean, the other places in the house were dusty, with cobwebs and many pieces of furniture covered in white sheets. 

We walked to the car, and the only information I could gather about it was that it was black. Gerard opened the car door so I could get in. 

- Such a gentleman 

- Nothing less to my princess.

He kissed my hand while I sat in the car seat. He closed the door and went to the part of the driver, placing his hand on my thigh, under the hem of my dress. I shivered at his touch.

During the journey, the radio played an almost inaudible sound, perhaps because the only thing that was going through my mind was his hand, slowly rising and rubbing his thumb along the inside of my thigh.

I didn't ask many questions about where we were going, so I alternated between looking out the window and looking at him, who was driving with only one hand, turning the steering wheel. Looking out the window was satisfying, after all it had been weeks since I had seen the outside of that captivity.  

Well, in about forty minutes, he started to park the car in front of a restaurant, a fancy one. I'm definitely not used to this, nor was I waiting for him to open the car's door for me, like he did, taking my hand and, again, holding tighter than was necessary. 

Gerard led me inside of the restaurant hall. We didn't have reservations, but there were several empty seats, considering the random day we chose to go. Arriving at the table, he pulled out the chair so I could sit down and then pushed it again, placing me in front of the table. 

After we looked at the menu, a waiter quickly came to the table.  While he was taking our orders, Gerard seemed very uncomfortable, perhaps with the friendliness I showed the waiter, but I think that was too much even for him.

- So… how does it feel to get out? 

While we wait for the food to arrive, nothing is more normal than starting a conversation, but the topic of "getting out of captivity" was not exactly what I had in mind, but considering his good mood, I think the best thing to do is to join in and continue the conversation. 

- It is great… - I sighed, thinking about how to continue... I guess the least I could do after all his chivalry was to compliment him. - Actually, being with you makes this even better. 

His eyes widened, and a wide smile spread across his face. I smiled back, because I was being honest. Ever since I admitted to myself that I was in love with him, I don't see myself dating anyone else.  

- Wow… - he chuckled - I wasn't expecting you to say that

- We're on a date, right? - I think I've never used this kind of tone with him… I was being sweet, truly sweet - So that means I wanted to be here with you. 

- Make sense… - He stopped for a few seconds and analyzed my face. I admit that I was nervous, and I was already preparing myself for criticism.  - you're so pretty

- So are you… - I let out my breath in relief, and since we're handing out compliments, I couldn't hold back.  - you're actually the most beautiful man i've ever seen

Again the light red painted his cheek… 

- You're exaggerating…

- I'm not! Really, I always find you kinda cute…

Another thing I kept to myself, in an effort to not let him think he could control me, but at this point, there's no way to do it but start admitting this kind of thing.

- So why did you get so mad when i… you know…

He looked around, careful not to say the word, but I couldn't let it slide. I raised my eyebrow, and did a cynical grin.

- Kidnapped me?

- If you want to call it this way…. - he sighed - But speak softer, please, darling.

- Sorry… - Giggling, I start to explain. - I got mad, cause if you just had asked me out, I would have definitely accepted without thinking twice.

- Well… - he said indifferently, thinking about how to continue the sentence without making it look bad for him. - I didn't know about that. Anyways, now is too late.

- Unfortunately… 

Before we could keep talking, the waiter came with our food, I thanked him, and received a deathly look from Gerard. Dude… why?

The small talk during the dinner was nice, the food was delicious and the atmosphere of the environment was pleasant. As soon as we finished, he paid and we went back to the car. The same way, he opened the door for me and drove us. His hand was again laid on my leg. 

Strangely enough, he didn't seem to be heading home. Even though I didn't know the exact way, the side we were going to was the opposite of the side we had arrived from. 

- So… - he cleaned his throat - you asked me to take you to a bar… I'm gonna show you my favorite one.

- Serious?!

It was a shock. It was hard to believe that he had actually agreed to extend the date.

- Of course, princess.

-Thanks, babe! 

I leaned over the passenger seat, stretching enough to reach his cheek with my lips, planting a kiss on him. 

He froze for a moment, taking the situation in. Within moments, a small smile painted his face, still looking forward, driving. The way a simple nickname makes him let his guard down is really cute.

It wasn't long before we arrived at a small dead-end street. The streetlight apparently wasn't working, leaving the street very dark, and the only thing visible was the doorway to the bar Gerard was taking me to. 

Getting out of the car, the same awkward situation of him grabbing my hand tightly. We crossed the front door and took a seat after passing some people who were sitting at the bartender's table. The last two benches were free, so we stayed there. 

- Such a pretty place

- One of the reasons this is my favorite bar. - He explained - I've been coming here for years. Nothing changed in decades. Only the bartenders.

- Make sense

I laughed, and soon the bartender approached us.

- Hey, pretty lady… What's gonna be for you? 

The compliment was enough to completely change Gerard’s expression. A bit embarrassed, I asked for my favorite drink, without showing the slightest sympathy, but not being rude. 

- And for you, Sir?

He turned his attention to Gerard, who glared at him with anger. 

-The same as MY girl. 

His arms wrapped around my waist as the guy turned around and laughed loud enough that I could hear him. 

- Who does he think he is to talk to you like that?!

- It's not a big deal…

- Because you liked it, didn't you?

- Gee… don't be like that, please.

He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but soon the guy arrived with the drinks.  

- Here it is. For the most beautiful girl I've ever seen… - he placed the drink in front of me,and spoke, clearly far from being sober, turning to Gerard - and her possessive boyfriend.

-Thanks - I said, softly, but careful not to sound too friendly. 

- Really?! - Gerard yelled, moving his hand to grab my arm, squeezing it. - You're gonna let him call you like that?

- Gee, please...

A bit of despair took hold of me, I even understood his jealousy this time, but the more attention he gives, the worse the situation becomes. In a failed attempt to calm him down, I placed my hand on his arm, but before, the nasty guy cut me off, making the situation worse.

- Baby… - He said, looking at me. - Why don't you leave this weirdo there and let's make out back there.  

He pointed with his thumb behind the table and in a hurry Gerard pulled the guy's tie, almost hanging him. Pressing his tie against the table, glaring at the bartender with furious eyes.

- You better shut the fuck up, before I kill you… did you hear me?

He spoke with an intensity I had never heard him use, not even when I decided I was going to try to argue with him. 

- Take it easy, dude

The bartender scoffed, not believing it. Gerard grabbed the glass that was almost full, and threw it on the floor next to the bartender. 

- DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?

- S-sorry

Now, he was definitely scared.

- I'm sure you are. - grabbing my arm, he pulled me hard, making me stumble but not fall, as we walked out of the bar - And i'm not paying for that, by the way.

- I think you overreacted…

-You don't know a thing! You were enjoying all of this!

- I-

- Shut up, you fucking cunt! - He slapped my face, and my eyes filled with tears… the more I feel good about him, the worse I feel when he acts this way - You wanted to come here so you could flirt with guys there! Why the hell did I believe that you could behave?!

Still holding my arm, he threw away all the delicacy he used to use with me and slammed the car door. 

- I don't even need to tell you that you won't be leaving that fucking room for a long time, right? 

He started driving, obviously going over the speed limit. I held on to the bench a little.

- It wasn't my fucking fault! - I couldn't stay quiet, there's no way he's blaming me. - What am I supposed to do? Punch him? 

- Don't you dare talk to me like that! - He stormed, hitting the steering wheel - Not when you were all cute with that guy! 

- I wasn't doing anything! 

He remained silent, ignoring me. I was about to continue, but he stepped forward.

- Wait till we got home, princess - what he said could be interpreted as a sweet phrase, but the threatening tone he used was not at all romantic. - I'm gonna make sure that you know who really owns you. 

Not wanting to make my situation worse, I remained silent, not daring to look at him the whole way home. 

Arriving at his house, he practically threw me into the room, and I wouldn't doubt that he was about to kick me, but he gave up when I remained standing, instead of falling on the floor. 

- What are you waiting for, baby? - he spoke calmly, but his aggression was obvious - Undress yourself, NOW!

- Is that really necessary? 

I asked, with visible fear. 

- I don't know - he growled, showing his lack of patience - you want me to tie you up and do it by myself?! 

I shook my head and started to take my shoes off, and then my dress, my underwear and my necklace.  

- Good girl… - a satisfaction grim grow on his face - now, turn away.

He took off his tie, and blindfolded me with that. I won't lie, while I was scared of what he would be capable of doing, every move he made made me even more wetter. 

His mouth pressed against my shoulder, sucking hard and making sure to leave bruise-like marks. I shivered as his hands went around my waist, squeezing tightly. 

I hummed when he buried his face on my neck, licking it up. His mouth reached my earlobe, biting, while his hands went even up in my torso, catching my breast. I moaned.

- Fucking slut - He whispered in my ear. - I'm gonna split you up. 

I felt his hands move away from my breasts, going down to my waist again, and his hot breath was no longer on my neck. Soon I felt him push me forward, aggressively. After a few steps, my legs touched the bed. 

- Get on the bed, whore. - He demanded 

I tried to turn so that my back was on the mattress, on top of the velvet sheet that covered it. 

-Besides being a slut, you're also dumb? - Before I could finish turning around, he grabbed me, preventing me from making any movement. His harsh voice made me freeze, but his next sentence made me swallow hard.  - I want you all fours for me. 

I did so, getting into the position he told me to. Embarrassment took over me, but it was soon replaced by the fear I felt when I heard the sound of his belt being opened. 

- You're gonna have what you really deserve… - As soon as he spoke, I felt the snap and the tearing sound of the leather hitting my ass squarely. I screamed in pain  - See… that's the treatment whores like you get.

He caressed my back, I thought it was enough, but soon I felt the feeling hit me again, and again, and again. The more he hit me, the more I screamed, and soon the tie covering my eyes tie was stained with tears. 

- Aw… Don't cry, darling… - I would give anything for him to call me that with the passion he had used hours ago, not with this mocking tone. - The night will be long… for you.

I jumped a little when his hand brushed my hair out of my face, and kissed my cheek.

- Tell me, princess, who do you belong to? - he spoke gently, but not kindly l 

- Y-you - I murmured.

- Exactly. - Suddenly, he knocked me to the side, turning me now to face him - You're MY whore.

He took the blindfold off my eyes and I could see the hunger in his eyes. Hovering on top of me and grabbing my throat, he showed his fangs with a presunction smile. 

- I'm gonna put you in your fucking place. - he roared, lunging at my neck again. - Tell me again who owns you.

-Y-you.. - I felt his pressure gripping my throat, and almost out of breath I responded - You own me.

- You learn fast. - he let me go, but continued talking with his face in my neck - But there's more I have to teach you. 

Without warning, he inserted four fingers inside of me, curling them to reach my g-spot.

- So needy…

I moaned loudly, as he giggled, knowing that he can make me transition between pain and pleasure in seconds.

He pumped in and out, and I started to feel myself getting closer and closer. Breathless, I tried to tell him. 

- Gee… i'm gonna cu-

- Not yet, cunt. - He growled, taking his hand out of me and moving it to his jeans, unbuttoning them. Then he pulled down his boxers and took his dick out. 

He held my wrists together in the top of my head while he abused my cunt. My pleasure mixed with the pain I still felt in my ass took over me.  I tried my best to hold back my orgasm, with great difficulty I managed to hold myself, hearing him grunt and groan.

After a few seconds, I moaned, feeling him use my pussy as a cum-dump. I started to panic as I couldn't hold it anymore.

- P-please… - I said, and he chuckled.

- Cum for me. - He ordered, and I did what he said. 

The pleasure washed me over, and he let go off my wrists, laying down by my side breathless. I closed my eyes, trying to restore my energy, and he leaned back against the bed rail. 

Gerard tapped his leg, calling me to his lap, so I went, feeling like a fucking pet of his. Not diminishing my embarrassment, I sat on his lap, and he stroked the top of my head. 

- All mine… - He kissed my cheek and rested his head on my shoulder. - Am I right?

I started the night completely in love with him, seeing him as the boyfriend I would like to have, but every time he acts like this I distance myself more and more from him. 

- Yeah… - I said, with a bitter taste in my mouth and a fake smile -  All yours.

___________________________________________

~ Well, that's it… lemme know if you liked! Should i do a part 5? Drop me ideas! <3

PART 5!

[shimmeringweeds]

This is completely unnecessary ( I'm really just sliding my Link Click rewatch notes into the tag), but for the fun it:

Hypocrisy is living a lie, but that doesn't make one a liar. So I got curious. Lu Guang's hypocrite label has been well earned, but does it cause him to lie? Is he a liar? I think fandom leans towards "no?," but let's find out anyway!

Provided below is a reference list of every last question Cheng Xiaoshi has ever asked Lu Guang in series (and I mean every question) + every answer Lu Guang gives. Color coded by response and explained when necessary. Season 2 opens the floor up to everyone.

Categories include Direct Answer, Non Answer, Half Truth, and Lie.

This post covers Season one. Season two is covered in a reblog below. The final tally is also in a reblog below for anyone who is just curious about that. Criteria below the cut.

Criteria notes: This list focuses solely on the act of lying to a trusted partner in response to a question asked. Keeping secrets does not, actually, count as lying, so long as you are honest about it. People are allowed a box of secrets and no one is entitled to the key. This compilation will also not dock points for the hypocrisy, or the uh..... questionable ability limitations. I will however, use the aforementioned knowledge as a basis for reasoning. This is far from scientific. Any conclusions I draw from the evidence can be challenged. Court is in session ⚖️

You will notice that there is no category for "truth." This is because all truths are covered by a "Direct Answer." "Direct Answer" indicates that Lu Guang is not hiding anything in direct relation to the question. In a "Direct Answer," he will answer Cheng Xiaoshi's exact question honestly. Nothing more required. Omission of extra knowledge is (frustratingly) allowed, because unless Cheng Xiaoshi has asked for that knowledge, it doesn't need to be given. So watch those closely.

Non Answer = an avoidance of the question with words or silence.

Half Truth = a partial, truthful answer to the question. The question asked for more/there is a second, hidden answer tied to the question.

Lie = an answer that denies a truth.

Color coding:

Present Question, Past Question, Future Question

Direct Answer, Non Answer, Half Truth, Lie

s1e1

Q. Any chances? A. Yes. But only one. (a non specific answer complements a non specific question. This sets the precedent for a direct answer. Keep an eye on how often it occurs.) Q. Now, should I finish this spring roll? A. Hold on. Q. Hold on for what? A. unanswered Q. How's it going? Are you satisfied now? A. *miserable sigh* Q. Do I have a boyfriend or not? A. No. Q. What is going on now? I did what you told me. What is the matter with him? A. Calm down. Repeat after me. Q. What should I do next? A. You forget his words? Prepare the material. Q. She just keeps doing this day by day? A. We said, linger no more around the past. (Every rule repeated will be counted as non answer if it avoids the question.) Q. You mean the meeting at 9 A.M. tomorrow? A. Mn. Q. It's midnight. Who? A. Leave it. Q. Will they come back? A. ................. All right, go to sleep. Q. When should we start? A. Take it easy. They're not all there yet. Q. Then tell me how long I need to wait? A. It's a secret. (note: This is the scene that inspired all this. I feel CXS's frustration here so much. LG stressed that there was only one opportunity and that this is it, only to deflect every question. He even checks his watch because he knows exactly how much more time. Yet, this is a direct, honest answer. "I will not answer," is an answer. I hate him lol. Q. In your opinion, if I really did something, will everything change because of it? A. You really didn't do something stupid, did you? Q. I really want to know. How is she doing now? A. I said, never ask about the future. Past Question(1) Present Question(6) Future Question(7) Direct Answer (7) Non Answer (7)

s1e2

Q. Do you have any questions? A. What are their names? Q. Why did they break off their friendship? A. Just do the job instead of caring about the whole story. Q. If we disagree with each other some day, shall we break up, too? A. It's almost time. (to be quite fair, CXS deflects his own question with tomfoolery before LG can respond.) Q. Is there really a secret recipe? It's just a pot of stew. A. Coming soon. (vague as hell, yet blissfully direct. wow.) Q. Do we have any other chance? A. None. She's crying all night at home, not going anywhere. Q. Can I go eat that for the last time? A. No! Q. What should I say? A..................... Q. What does it taste like? A If you dare change the photo shop into a noodle shop, I'll leave right now. Past Question (1) Present Question(5) Future Question (2) Direct Answer (4) Non answer (4)

s1e3

Q. A few words? That may affect the past. You sure about this? A. It will be fine. Nothing will be changed. Q. Can I get rid of them? (regarding the glasses) A. There is nothing you can help with in the match. Just sit there till the end. (eeeeh. It's very long winded way of saying "no.") Q. I can take photos right? A. Void. No time to answer. But it's telling that CXS was just advised twice to stay put and chill, but the moment he adjusts the script....? oof. not a good start to this arc. Q. Did I just affect the historical track? A. Yes, you did. But the results have not changed. Q. Is it in the plan? Should I play or not? A. The past has been disrupted by you. I can't foretell what would happen before they lost the game. ( ie. your call) Present Question (5) Direct answer (4) Void (1) This is such nice episode with such a clean tally. THE TRUST.

s1 e4 - The formatting on this one doesn't want to stick. If it still doesn't work... I'm sorry.

Q. What exception? A. At some point in time, there is an important node. Q. Lu Guang, where are you? x2 A. silence <counted as 1 Q. You asshole. Where have you been? A. The client's words were written on the note. I didn't know where Qiao Ling placed it. (I'm calling bullsh*t on the silent treatment but you can read it as DA. So we will excuse the friendly, "you were deliberately tricking me"/"I'm not you" banter that follows (was it a question? subs say no.)) Q. Why? (in regards to the major node being unaffected.) A. Void. The chemistry teacher conveniently interrupts and gives his own answer… sure dodged that knife!) Q. Liu Meng puts everything on her face, how could he miss that? A. Let the past be. We just need to deliver the words. Nothing else. Q. She makes her steps first. What should I do? What should I say? A. Instructions given. Q. Is that really okay to say so? Q. Will they eventually miss each other? A. Yeah. A. The result will not change as long as the node does not change. (1. I'm calling the second answer a half truth, because you can draw a yes/no conclusion about them missing one another. So it's not a non answer, nor is it direct. 2. CXS doesn't ask about the node again. He just says "okay. you're always right." like the angel he is.) Q. Are you sure it's okay if I just repeat after you? A. Don't worry, the result will not change, even without any quarrel. (at this point CXS does question to himself why this mission is so weird. He does not question LG.) Q. No matter how the process changes, they are all doomed in the end. Am I right? A. …..Past Question(1) Present Question(7) Future Question(2) Direct Answer(4) Non answer (3) Half Truth(2)

s1e5 (where your tally might differ from mine)

Q. Can you save my mum? Can you please let me save her only? A. All right. I'll tell you what you should do. (okay. okay. Let's chat. We can and should analyze this answer to hell and back. Originally I had this labelled as a direct answer, but if so....then this is a direct answer that CXS later sees as a lie. CXS was not in the wrong for that. This statement is a conceding and LG does follow through on this. However, LG at least partially believed that CXS's actions wouldn't matter in the face of a death node (the next question is my evidence, as is Emma in ep 11.) As much as I want to believe he had hope, I think the fear of changing things prevented true action. They hide under the table, the place where Chen Xiao survived. But then Chen Xiao's mom mentions the camera, and Cheng Xiaoshi goes to get it. LG is silent. They need that camera/photograph. He knows what will happen. Chen Xiao cannot die. His mom dies because she covered him. LG gave up before CXS did (and god, CXS stayed until her last breath.) This wasn't true teamwork. LG deserved the punch. Yet it's not a lie. He never said he would save her. So I'm labeling this as a half truth, for half sincerity. Q. Will the earthquake never happen? A. *No answer and continued silence as CXS goes to get the camera; the earthquake happens. CXS is again asked to exit the photo.* (I do believe that silence betrayed CXS more than the conceding to help. It just sends the point home. I've got a lot of sympathy for both of their perspectives though.) Q. Why do you lie to me? Why do you still want her dead? A. In order to make everything stay the same. (another answer you can analyze to hell and back, but I read it as complete and brutal honesty.) Q. If I can't save them, then what's the point of delivering the words? A. Fool. I have said, past or future. Because we can't change the past. Don't question the future, as the future will be changed because of us. (This is the first time I think the rules really do serve as an answer if you read into it. LG also clarifies this statement as a proper, unprompted answer in e6. Present Question: (4) Direct Answer: (2) Non Answer (1) Half Truth (1)

s1e5.5

Q. Isn't this what you figured out at a glance? A. It's impossible. Q. Can't you just figure out the old master's tricks by foreseeing the events that happened 12 hours after the picture was taken? A. That's such an intuitive detail. I still need you to visit the scene in person and become my eyes. (giggle snort at that face saving answer tbh, I kind of want to label it a half truth.) Q. Where the hell did you go? A. *yaaaaawn* where are you? (the yawn is a direct answer /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ ) Q. What now? A. Stop. You're too early. Q. Is this where it ends? A. It's not over yet. Q. How is he still fighting? A. But what I'm seeing is what happened back then. (a polite way to say "I have no f*cking clue") Q. I thought you always said never ask about the future? A. I'm here to keep an eye on you. (the áojiāo answer lol) Present Question(7) Direct Answer(6) Half-Truth(1)

s1e6

Q. If you use your predictive ability to see from the surveillance video, how will it be like? A. Within 12 hours, all surveillance images within one kilometer, I can have a panoramic view of them. etc. Q. Can you see Dou Dou? Who took him away? A. The one who took Dou Dou must have surveyed this area long ago. He used the surveillance camera blind spots perfectly. Q. This time will I become a CCTV? A. Stupid. What are you thinking about? Just follow my instructions. (LG probably thinks that was a direct answer. CXS's face said it was not.) Q. Where did they go? A. The second alley on the right. Present question(3) Future Question(1) Direct answer (3) Non Answer(1)

s1e7

Q. Look at this. Can we find some new clues? A. It's possible. Q. Where am I? A. I don't know. I couldn't perceive anything when you were unconscious. ( I am assuming that is truth. There is no reason for it to not be, unless secrets run deeper than we think.) (and yeah, that's it for e7. CXS does make comments, but they aren't questions directed at LG. CXS is too busy being unconscious/ doing his best and LG is too busy being stressed/proud. Have I mentioned how much I love this episode?) Future Question(1) Present Question(1) Direct Answer(2)

s1e8

Q. What do you think? Can we help? A. (to Xiao Li) I've looked at the general situation. I’m sorry, but this time, there's nothing we can do. (First Lie! First Lie! Though technically it was answering XL not CXS.....) Q. Lu Guang, that's it? Did you see it clearly? A. ....... (QL shushes CXS for him.) Q. Are you sure you saw it clearly? You rarely ever say no. A. Who was the one who wanted to take a break? Q. What? You agree, just like that? Hey, wait a minute did you say help? This is clearly a deal, why should we do it for free? A..... (again, QL shuts up CXS first.) Q. Is there no justice in this world? How could you beat up the person who's going to help you? (this isn't a valid question, CXS is just rambling aloud but uh.......... honorable mention. This is a line LTC and QJ really needed to hear lol) Q. Then what am I supposed to do now? A. Try to create a situation where he wouldn't be able to attack. Q. I forgot you had this ability. So, what exactly did Dong Yi say back then? A. I've already passed the message to Xu Shanshan.... *he reads the message* (that first line is what makes me question events in Dou Dou's photograph, but that's not the focus...) Past Question(1) Present Question(5) Direct Answer(2) Non answer(3) Lie(1)

s1e9

Q. Then isn't this because I....? A. Now is not the time to let your thoughts run wild. Q. Eh, is there no other way? A. Unfortunately, that's the only way. Q. Then what if I high-five myself and enter the photo...? A. You'll loose contact with me. If that happens, you won't know anything about what will happen in the photos. Q. How is it? Did they catch that bastard? A. No. Lack of evidence. Present Question(4) Direct Answer(3) Non answer (1) 2/4 questions are a flashback. Since the two act mostly separate in this episode.

s1e10

Q. How is it? Did you find a clue? A. Last night around half past one, a masked man broke into Xu Shanshan's house and attacked her. (with some intense speculation, this is a half truth, but I'm not going there.) Q. Am I supposed to yell at myself? A. You accepted the arrangement, go on. Q. This time can you let me take the lead? A. You? What do you mean? (this is not a non answer, because it directly asks for clarification of the question.) Present Question(3) Direct Answer(3)

s1e11

Q Do you remember the message the murderer left when Qiao Ling last called Xu Shanshan? A. Yes. Q. What if I'm the person who made an appointment with him? A. Are you saying that because of us diving back into the photo, we have created an alternate timeline? - CXS A. That's right. Honorable mention 1: Q. Didn't you say nothing in this world is an absolute? A. *too busy being in shock/getting stabbed* Honorable mention 2: Chen Bin: Even though you guys caught him, methods like this aren't encouraged. In the future, you have to let us know as soon as possible. LG: Oh, I'm sorry. We only just realized that he might come and cause trouble, so we took some temporary measures. (for the look CXS gives him at the easy dishonesty in this statement. It's almost a shocked Pikachu face lol. I kind of want to add that to the lie tally...... but it wasn't a question (and does lying to police count, let's be honest.) I'm adding it. Past Question(1) Present Question(1) Direct Answer(2)

Final Tally:

Past Questions (5) Present Questions (50) Future Questions (14)

Direct Answers (42) Non Answers (19) Half Truths (4) Lies (1) +1 honorable mention

Not bad, eh? 42 direct and honest answers and 24 other. Honestly, that's impressive considering the circumstances. Of course, you can view these answers from different perspectives, or you can break them down further to nudge a half truth closer to a lie or a direct answer, for example.

It should also be noted that, in regards to Qiao Ling, Lu Guang also does not lie. He is very honest with her too. There is potentially one half truth regarding Xu ShanShan's photograph, but that is only speculation. (I wonder who proposed keeping her out of the ability loop? Even so, they probably just told her they preferred to work in secret. Not a lie.)

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[casual-praxis]

Since I haven't gotten around to drawing them yet, I haven't talked much about Blue and Green in the Slime Rancher AU (I really need to come up with a name for it), this will hopefully change in the near future, but in the meantime, here's a random assortment of fun facts about them.

+ Green is in a similar position to Bea (the Slime Rancher protagonist), in that he left behind a close friend with whom he may have had a romantic connection with in order to nurture his adventurous spirit. That friend was Zelda, and she still regularly sends him starmail to keep him updated on how things are back in their hometown.

(Note: one of my friends wants me to bring Zelda to the range and theme her after a pink slime, which is a really cute idea but hh I don't know how to get her there. And I don't want her to be viewed as a relationship rival, she's too sweet for that.)

+ Blue, when he initially shows up, is very dismissive of the whole, "slimes are cute, they're like lil' buddies" notion. They can make him easy money. And the faster he can save up, the faster he can get a shuttle back to Earth and kick his family's teeth in for sending him there in the first place. That's all that matters to him. The other losers on the ranch might subscribe to the whole ridiculous pyramid scheme, but not Blue.

Nope, he's totally not falling for it. He's not falling for Green's genuine concern, Red's effortless handling of borderline explosives, Vio's general competence, or Shadow's playful banter. But especially not this goopy, waterlogged slime that keeps trying to follow him around and--hey, Window's Vista, how the hell is he supposed to keep one of these bastards when the Slimepedia says they evaporate?!

More notes under the cut! ^^

+ Green may be the unofficial leader in everyone else's mind, but to Green, the leader is actually Vio due to their experience gap and the fact Vio has seniority. He often goes to Vio for guidance on certain unforeseen issues, like a hen-hen infestation (they are everywhere, help) or advice on where to put a new corral or silo.

But when it comes down to it, Green is the one to step up quickest in high-stress situations (like Tarr outbreaks) and de-escalate conflicts (interpersonal or otherwise), which he doesn't even hesitate on. He has everyone's trust, he gets things done, and he does all the communicating with other ranches. He is the leader, the others have no doubts.

+ Despite his prickly demeanor early on, Blue was still asked to help with physical labor around the ranch at the very least. He has a knack for construction, and production speed usually went up with him actually keeping the projects organized.

Red in particular would go to Blue for help with heavy lifting, even if it was just so he didn't have to do it himself (Blue would never admit it, but he was the one to initially reach out to help Red. Watching him struggle wasn't as fun as he thought it'd be). Also, sometimes Shadow would rope him into tests of strength on streams, those were always nice ego boosts (not that he needed one).

+ Green and Blue both use nicknames for the others, but while Green's are largely affectionate and closer to pet names, Blue's are more akin to insults (which become softer over time).

For Green's nicknames, he uses Firework or Firefly for Red, Puddle Fly or Water Bug for Blue, Jewel Beetle or Bookworm for Vio, and Moth(ra) or Shads for Shadow. (Can you sense a pattern here lmao.)

For Blue's nicknames, he cycles through quite a few, especially early on since he doesn't intend to learn anything about the others. He uses Stringbean, Airhead, "His Greenness", etc for Green (Greenbean and Froggy once he stops being a dick), Ground Zero, Creepy, Ash-For-Brains, etc for Red (Firecracker, Hotshot, and Sparkles once he stops being a prick), Windows Vista, Glitchy/Twitchy, Violetta, etc for Vio (Bug and V once he stops being an ass), The Influencer (derogatory), Porphylophile (person who really likes purple), and Eyeliner, etc for Shadow (Kitten and Princess ((still teasing)) once he stops being a dumbass).

That's all I have time for right now, work is starting soon hhh--but I definitely have more for these two planned! Look forward to that if you'd like, and thank you for reading this far!

[power-handmaiden]

what I want to (re?)gain from reading all these tinglers.

Long ass personal ramble below because this is my blog where I ramble about things now

I used to draw all the time and even longer ago I used to write and at some point I just stopped because I got hung up on whether I was "good" at these things things or whether it was a waste of my time creating such "trivial" things rather than art with "meaning" or maybe of I should be spending my time on more "useful" skills. Why write if you're just going to write gay fanfiction? But when I tried more "serious" things to "develop my skills" and also do things like proofread and edit, it just wasn't fun anymore and the hobby was dropped. Drawing lasted longer and I never dropped it so completely but I think smartphones put a damper on it. Once we all got little Google machines in our pockets I was never just out somewhere doodling freely, there was always the option to look up a reference, to draw the thing Correctly, and then time would pass where I was trying to find a picture of a ram's horns at just the right angle, and my number at the DMV would be called or whatever else I was waiting for would demand my attention and I would never even set my pencil to paper in these moments when I used to doodle.

I also felt like I could never express sexual ideas as much as I wanted to because of the "quality" of my work. Making "bad" art was one thing, everyone in the learning process does that, but sharing "bad" sexual art? Well, everyone on the internet forums I frequented was *justified* in reposting their art to mock them and linking to their online galleries for passersby to point and laugh personally, I thought at the time. How dare they be horny and express it in an appropriate adults-only space without mastering their craft first!

There's a lot holding me back. I deeply miss drawing and writing. I miss how freely I used to be able to just do them without the mental block telling me I need to run certain steps for Quality when I never did intend to do these creative things as a profession or anything?

Why is it so easy to sit down and "waste time" playing a video game or scrolling the internet, but so hard to spend the same amount of time drawing something for fun?

here's where Chuck Tingle comes in. He is someone who just DOES IT. This is the writing of someone who is not overthinking the process like I am when I become too paralyzed to create. And, I cannot stress this enough. IT'S SO GOOD. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. So much fun, joyful art has come from a process that I had convinced myself was something to be reined in and feared. The free act of creation that I'd convinced myself was nothing if I didn't learn to refine it into something "respectable". Ideas that would definitely not have passed a committee vote but make the process of reading all these stories one after another so exciting.

Even when I hit the occasional one like today that doesn't hit well anymore, it's evidence of someone who was creating from the heart, in the moment. Weirdly, they make me feel that yearning even stronger, with the knowledge that I know I'll love future stories.

I still haven't gotten there yet but I hope the love I find in these stories eventually breaks down the mental walls I've built and makes me feel free again to DRAW SOME GODDAMN LESBIAN FURRIES.

[shinyrhinestones]

Youthful Hearts

Part two

This is a part two to my latest fic. I should probably give it a name…its kinda short but i needed something for the next part so this is how it is..anyways heres the info:

Summary: Readers new in town and is trying to get around. Set in the early 90s.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Billie Joe X Fem!Reader.

Also @ziggy-stardust-is-in-love was the only who showed my fic some love so I’ll just leave this right here..😔

Part one here

—————————

For a summer day it was awfully gloomy and cloudy. The wind was very well alive, and you were only wishing for it to ease down just a little bit.

The best part of waking in a new place was definitely your cat. If you had stayed back at home, you dont think you would have gotten yourself a pet. Not because you didn't want to, but more because you wanted a better excuse. There doesnt need to be an excuse but in this case you felt good knowing you had done some effort to keep yourself accompanied. Atleast a little. However, you did wish it was easier sometimes...well all the time, to make new friends.

Which lead your mind traveling back to the lads you had encountered the day before. The truth is when you have dyed hair, an unnatural colour, you draw a lot of attention. Especially 'cause its bright, but maybe also because it's brave. Brave in many different ways.

1. You'll have to deal with all the attention, even when you're not feeling pretty.

2. Hair does a lot to someones appearence, changing it drastically is a huge risk. Plus, it might turn out ugly.

It was safe to say they peaked your interest.

Growing up as a girl there was always a stigma between boys and girls, like they couldn't be friends. Boys were nasty, weird and annyoing..well not to push stereotypes but most boys tend to adapt to them.

You did have a few male friends here and there through out your school life, but it never lasted like your other girl friends did. Well, now that you had moved away from home it was actually just as difficult keeping contact with your best friends back at home. You couldn't just call them all the time, because of the phone bill. And because of how different your lives were going.

Contact wasn't always easy.

Plus, its different when you're not in person. When you're not actually reading each other faces and body language. Or just feeling each others energy in general.

The only other friendly contact you had was at school. Your classmates and teachers. School was alright and it better be alright, 'cause you just traveled to a whole other place to get this education and learning. That was a lot of money for you. What you had managed to afford was a small apartment, but cute. The bathroom was very small. It wasn't really that much of shower, you had. It was a shower head, and a drain. After a shower the water was most likely splashed all over the toilet and the whole bathroom floor. But atleast you got to keep yourself clean.

In your kitchen/livingroom, you had a really cozy space by one of the big windows. You lived all up in the top of the apartment block, making the roof crooked.

And it wasn't always fun when you accidentally slammed your head into it, and saw black dots for like five seconds. Or the pounding pain at the top of your head. By the large window there was space and the build to be able to lay there comfortably. With pillows, a small madrass for atleast two people, blankets and so on. It was a nice space to have, when you were doing your everyday normal activites. Eating, reading, studying, drawing or what you could get in the mood for. You had a somewhat big view on the city. Cars, bikers and pedestrians passing by.

—-

All day you hadn't been able to concentrate in school, since your mind was constantly replaying yesterdays interaction. And you honestly felt so bad about the fact that you didn't catch on. You didn't have time to make friendly conversation, especially because you were stressed in the situation, not noticing that this could've been a chance at making new friends in town.

You kept thinking about what you could do now. What could be possible, and not awkward nor creepy. It would be weird just showing up at that place again, when it was quite a closed off space. You'd have to walk very wrong on purpose again, and turn that corner on purpose. You just couldn't do it. Also, what were you even gonna say?

“Hi! I’m lost again” You would look like a fool.

You packed up your things for the day, slung your backpack on to your shoulder and walked down the hallways of the school.

The wind struck you in the face when you left the school, the summer wind pushing your hair back. You could already imagine the struggle with brushing it out again.

"Wait, Y/N!" Your head whipped around to see who was calling your name. You always talked to people at school, but none of them ever invited you out, and you didn't invite them out, since you were too nervous for your new surroundings.

"Yeah?" You replied seeing one of your classmates wave at you. She ran up to you, and faces you with her bright eyes and dark hair. Long hair, and you wondered how she managed taking care of it with such a windy weather.

She tried brushing some of it behind her ears, smiling gently at you. She wasn't wearing a coat, just grey blouse, and you tugged at your own coat, thinking she was certainly gonna get sick.

"Uhm, so well some of us girls thought maybe you wanted to join us on saturday. We're going to a bar, just to hangout and stuff."

Her voice shook slightly, as she was fidgeting with her hands. You tried to look at her clearly, as the Sun struck you in the eyes. "Which girls?" You questioned, leaning your weight on one side.

"Just the girls from math class." That was like six other girls, and to you that seemed like a huge group. But you didn't want to miss out on anything, or get excluded from a community in class, that was slowly gonna form.

"Yeah okay. Which bar?"

Luckily your classmate knew and understood you were new around, and had already marked it down on a map and gave it to you. And even though that's a sweet though, reading maps have always been difficult for you. You thanked her, and made your way down the street, away from school.

You kept on walking the way you normally would, hoping the street wasn't closed off anymore.

However, now you had to get ready for what would hopefully be a fun and exciting weekend.

————————

A/N: yes i edited this to put in the name for the fic ����

[ultraflavour]

Character-first Fantasy TTRPGs

Games like Lancer, Gubat Banwa, ICON, Draw Steel, Daggerheart, even Fabula Ultima sometimes get described as "4E Inspired."

I think that's true in a broad sense, but there's something deeper that connects all of these games that 4E doesn't have, and that's a respect for the narrative journey of the characters.

None of the games I've listed have the traditional "Death Saving Throw." You never have to tear up your character sheet because a Skeleton got a lucky Crit in the first combat of the game, and the Bard didn't have Healing Word prepped.

Each of these games either give the player mechanical choices to choose how close to death their character ever gets (Lancer, Daggerheart, Draw Steel) or they make the consequences of defeat entirely narrative (Gubat Banwa, ICON, Fabula Ultima).

World-first vs. Character-first

I was having difficulty putting this categorization to words until I read a post from makapatag, the author of the aforementioned Gubat Banwa. In that article, he lays out a way of thinking about OSR games as being "World-first," as opposed to games like D&D, Exalted, and Lancer which are "Character-first." In World-first games, the character is never so powerful that they can override the dangers of the environment. They have to adapt to the setting to survive.

I understand the allure of this type of play, especially from the GM's standpoint. But at the same time, I find that I am most comfortable when I am at least sharing in the direction of the narrative. When the game has rules that put the players' characters in the driver's seat of the narrative, it lessens the burden on the GM to tell a story, but expects more of the players in return.

Bizarro-OSR

So in this way, "Character-first Fantasy" works as a sort of "Anti-OSR," a celebration of powerful PCs running roughshod in a fantastical sandbox. Not exactly a "New School Renaissance" though, because these ideas aren't necessarily new.

I think this style of play describes how a lot of people approach D&D 5E, since it has a lot of rules that describe abilities and spells that make the players increasingly harder to corral as they gain levels.

At the same time, I think games like 5E and Pathfinder have their feet planted too far in the past to consider either of them to be truly a part of this genre. Both have very punishing death mechanics that can turn seemingly easy encounters into painful death spirals that lead to torn-up character sheets.

The Only Time I Was Ever Happy

I can't stress enough just how much it changed the game to play a Warforged for the first time in D&D 4th Edition. In that edition, Warforged have a rule that they can never roll lower than 10 on their death saving throws. That meant that unless they were being actively attacked while knocked out, they would never just "bleed out."

When I didn't have to worry about losing my character, I could take risks that I thought a "Superhero" would take. It led to me getting my ass beat mercilessly, on many occasions, but I think that's what a hero would do: They would take on any amount of suffering if they believed it would make the world a better place for the people they loved.

Power Fantasy?

You could maybe classify this style of game as being strictly based around Power Fantasy. But I think it's more about the rules supporting the player's exploration of their concept than strictly being about overpowering every obstacle put in front of you.

In any game that is trying to tell the story of a character, there have to be ups and downs. I don't think it's either necessary, or even good for the players to always win. But as long as the mechanics of the game aren't punishing you for being defeated, you have more freedom to push yourself for the sake of the narrative.

Some people derisively refer to this style of play as "Superhero" fantasy, and I don't think that's necessarily incorrect, but... It's also fun. There's nothing inherently wrong with letting your players romp around in giant robots, as long as they acknowledge the responsibility they've just been handed.

When you play in a very punishing adventure or system for the first time, you realize quickly that farting around will get you killed. Enjoy sitting out the rest of the adventure because you tried to do a skateboard trick over that Iron Golem, smarty pants.

It makes that feeling of power in a more Character-centric game that much more rewarding. But you also realize just how hard it is for the GM to keep you reeled in. In these games, it's very important for open collaboration between the GM and the players. It's really hard for the GM of a Character-centric game to plan a narrative when the players can constantly kick down the walls of the setting that are supposed to be constraints to them.

Rules-Medium?

One of the biggest changes D&D made in the leap from 4th to 5th was an overhaul of the rules that left a lot more room for narrative improvisation than 4th Edition or even Pathfinder.

That's not to say that these games necessarily need a rules-light approach. The important thing connecting them is that the rules support the fantasy that the characters represent. If my character is good at fighting, I want mechanics that help to reflect that in the game world, without resorting to handwaving.

For this reason, I think a lot of more "fiction-first" games in the PbtA or FitD mechanical genre get disqualified here. They tend to focus a lot on the narrative consequences of the interactions between the characters and the setting, and frame the players' powers less as "tools to conquer the setting" and more as "prescriptive ways to move toward your goals in a narrative-appropriate way." Does that make sense?

For a true rules-light approach to this budding genre of ttrpg, I would check out any game in the LUMEN system family of games from Spencer Campbell at Gila RPGs. I'm excitedly anticipating my Kickstarter copy of Infinite Revolution from Gwendolyn Clark to arrive, I think that game is going to really kick ass.

Well, Anyways

I wrote a lot of this on not a lot of sleep. My mind has been racing, trying to put a lot of these ideas to words. The aforementioned blog by makapatag really helped to put a lot of my thoughts about the current (and future) state of Fantasy into focus.

It's entirely possible, also, that this idea is not new. I'm sure there's someone out there who has had the same thought as me, and my lazy ass never actually tried to find their writing. Instead I just wrote it out again, because I'm a huge PIECE OF CRAP.

Anyways, sleepy tea is kicking in, good night.

[instant-bull]

Who's you're favorite and least favorite Naruto chatacter to draw and why

I obviously didn't draw all of them, there's still a great chunk of characters I'd like to draw and didn't get the chance, so I'll probably revisit this question at some point. But as for now, I love to draw:

Kakashi

He's so impossibly easy to draw, you literally cannot fuck him up. I love masked characters and his personality also allows me to do my absolute favourite masked exoression: the lowlid eyebrow raise (™)

Madara

He actually gives me a hard time sometimes, bc either I do something with his hair I don't like or he just doesn't look MADARA enough. It's in a fun way tho and feels like a good kind of challenge. I guess I'm just not afraid to make him look stupid, since I've crowned myself as "Huge fan of making Madara Uchiha look stupid"

As for who is giving me most trouble, and sometimes genuinely stresses me, I think I have to elect Tobirama. I love this character and I want to make him look pretty and wonderful like he is, so the whole "fuck it we ball" factor is off limits. We don't ball, it's Tobirama, this is SERIOUS.

Still, I can't in good conscience say he's my least favourite to draw, because I love to draw him. He's just the only one who can make me feel stressed like this, which I think is very canon-compliant of me

[phrandallanton]

do you have any tips on learning anatomy ?!1?1 im losing my mind over it 😿

Watch videos on YouTube about it or looking it up online, basic info I know. We live in the time where information is so exseable, use that to your advantage! The only place you should avoid is TikTok. Don't get me wrong there are some good creators on there but tutorials are better on YouTube and Google as I feel like they explain more. Here's some channels I recommend for not only learning anatomy but art as a whole:

Marc Brunet:

Draw like a sir:

tppo

As of tips I can bring to the table, the biggest one is don't stress over making things perfect! One of the reasons why I love the RANFREN style is how poorly drawn it is and that's what makes it look good. I know it sounds like an insult but it's not. The hands are always so effed up looking and that's my favorite part. Another example is Shin Chan. A lot of the adult's faces are always so wonky but it works and I love it.

Of course you need to learn the rules before you break them. Even the most exaggerated art use basic anatomy/fundamentals. But you don't always have to play by them. Art is subjective, you can draw a piece that has perfect anatomy and fundamentals and people may still not like it. Draw whatever looks good to you and makes you happy!

(This may differ though as if you want to get into a job where you have to draw in a sertant way/sertant thing the whole "I don't care what people think" isn't going to work. I personally do art as a hobby and never plan on doing it to appeal to others so I can bank off of it. If one day I can do that, cool. If not, also cool. That's how I see it! When it comes to trying to make art profitable a lot of creativity can be lost as most places don't want to take a risk of doing something that can effect them and the money. Little tangent, oops. But yeah, keep in mind that what I just typed out is coming more from a hobbyist stand point rather a professional one!)

Another thing is if there's something you don't like about your piece, then fix it. I use to say whatever when there was something I didn't necessarily like about my art because I didn't want to redo hours of work or mess up something, but trust me redoing it and getting it somewhere you like is so much better. Once again, the internet has lots of information to help so don't be shy to look up on how you can make something look to your liking. Criticism can also help with this. Always be open to constructive criticism when you're wanting to get better! Doesn't mean you have to apply said criticism to your art but it's still something you 100% should be open to.

Also with practicing try and do 30 minutes at a time and taking 15 minutes breaks in between. You're brain tends to absorb more information then studying for an hour straight. And don't push yourself to study every moment of your life. You should have a good balance of studying and free drawing. And please take breaks too. Burn out is not fun, it can take a long time to overcome it. (Coming from someone who experienced burn out for over a whole year.)

You also may not learn at it right away. Take your time and go easy on yourself! Don't compare your art to others as you have no clue how many hours they spent into practicing, and I assure you most artist have drawn stuff that looks horrible compared to what they post online. People will only post stuff they think looks good for the world to see. Your practice sketches aren't the best but it's one of the steps that's going to help you get where you want to be! <(＾⊆＾)_/¯

[spunchthegoblin]

Review of each IB class as an international baccalaureate diploma haver (IB is just AP but more european)

HL English - One of the less stressful classes. I like reading and writing, I remember finishing assignments earlier than expected. I got a 5

Oral exam - Did this in junior year, I did it on V for Vendetta (the movie) and Small Gods by Terry Pratchett because I was smoking fucking crack apparently

Paper - I barely remember this one, I think I did it on Ajax. Easy

Exams - Easy shit. I even had time to draw on the back

HL History - Having a good teacher helped. Not caring about WW1 did not help. I got a 5

Paper - Actual garbage. Worst thing I've ever written. Wrote it in junior year then had to edit it a year later and it was so bad

Exams - More stressful than the english ones, my hand fucking hurt, still had time to draw on the back because I'm the goat

SL Biology - Yayy :3 aminals and cell :3 slime :3 (I got a 5)

Paper - did it on slime mold hehe. Make sure you have your plan together early on in this assignment in case you need to order materials

Exams - If you make up enough things about science you might accidentally stumble into the right answer!

SL Math - I'm one of those sick fucks who like math. If you're a normal person then I'd consider getting a tutor to lessen the stress. I got a 5

Paper - finished this in like 2 days easy

Exam - Literally fuck my entire life

HL Theatre - If you're willing to embarrass yourself, lie, cheat, and steal, then this is an easy HL class. I got a 5

Papers - there's no exam for this class, only papers and recorded performances. The directors notebook was fun (didn't require any acting, I could draw pretty pictures). The research project was ok, make sure that your subject has more than one source describing it (I did mine on Kabuki theater so pretty easy). The group project... I don't want to think about that. The solo project was almost fun I got to writhe on the floor like a worm.

SL Spanish - literal dante's inferno type journey. I got a 4

Oral exam - on GOD don't be autistic

Exams - If I had a gun I'd kill myself

Extended Essay - don't forget to have fun and be yourself :) I got a D. If I could pass with that dogshit essay then SO CAN YOU!!

CAS - If you're bad at lying on IB assignments at this point I don't know how to help you. I actually don't know if they grade this? I'm not checking

CAS project - Make sure to do this completely last minute ok? :3

CAS presentation? - The thing you record all your CAS stuff on. People say that the Service part was the most difficult but that was easy for me since my town has a lot of volunteer opportunities, yours does too if you look hard enough. I had trouble on the Active because I do not go outside.

Ok I think that's everything but just make sure that you get deeply invested into a new video game two weeks before the exam this step is crucial also make sure you get into a college that only accepts 45 of your IB credits even though you got 55 LITERALLY KILL YOURSELF WESTERN WASHINGTON SUCK MY BALLS

[blurryfangirlansuke]

Now you maybe wondering that about me being absent one of them is college I can't control that it depends on my degree and planning what I want to do in my adult life. Also I want to get this out of my chest. I'm perfectly fine when people tell my obsession with Duke goes too far causing me to lose friends or just being all over a character that doesn't exist. I understand and I do apologize if I make feel people uncomfortable and when ask people if they can draw myself and Duke together they don't have to I make it very optional and I have plenty of other characters to simp for but Duke is #1 he'll always be. He's the reason why I'm being stable from being lonely and stress between reality and trying to become independent. It's not easy when your autistic and have social anxiety and learning different ways of how to do things. Duke is a comfort and I believe everyone should have a comfort character if not then perhaps your best friend or family .

Whenever I see a picture of Duke or art heck even gifts people draw for me it makes me touched and happy because I love this vampire and yes he's fictional but it's fun to simp and also appreciate the creator who put there heart and soul making characters to adore and even be interested with there stories and series.

Another thing I get so happy is when I commission the creator of the series Duke's plays the lead one along with Missi the vampire who tolerates him. The creator absolutely knows me so well and always spoils me with amazing commissions of me and Duke also she's close and appreciates fans like me for liking character such as Duke . Also buying loads of merchandise from the creator's store and main do I go buck while on everything worse then going to a barns and noble xD.

I am a busy person who gets free time and sometimes not so much. I'm working on my degree, learning the good and bad things in life even if I don't understand. I attend to also write my fanfics whenever I get the chance to take a break on drawing nonstop art of Duke. It also gives me ideas for myself if I ever want to make a character of my own and I know one day the character is going to be inspired by many artists I admire if you see what I usual post xD.

I have dreams of being with Duke in real life like he stays with me in my campus, we go for nightwalks, I lay in his coffin or king size bed and talk for hours. I wake up and he's not there with me. I know this feeling is loneliness which I'm use to since I have a hard time reaching out to people and the art I do might probably not spark interest. I miss my sister who's in college we have a great bond, I love my parents always support me, I have friends and fans online here that support me.

However I really wish I didn't feel this way. I know I attend to seek help with my advisors or talk to my sister it does help. I'm not normal and then okay because hey we all special and unique in our ways. Duke is fictional but he's my happiness and true comfort and I'll always love him even if I want to strangle him.

Yes I've been a little depressed and overwhelmed but that's life we have our good days and bad days. Crying does help me let everything out and start a better day. Eventually this blog will also get more hearts soon and also I have to be present for that to happen which I try. I appreciate you listening to me and I don't want end things sad especially since this is me and Duke's month so I made a healing art piece and color it about us. I really appreciate the support and love you all give me. This helps me to stay motivated and keep going. Don't worry I'll post more things and happy stuff. Letting this vent things pass.

Thank you for listening and much love you all Spooklings 🥰

[tic-toc-clock77]

TicciWork parental headcanons

Contains my fankids Aaron and Lee!:3

- Toby and Clockwork were never really prepared to be parents ... At all.

- But that never stopped them from trying their best!

- It helped that Jack and Nina had already had a child, so they could go to them for help

- And they needed A LOT of it

- Even though Lee was a relativity silent and easy baby to have around, Clock and Toby were both still stressed out

- "What if we're not feeding him enough?" "What if we're feeding him too much?!" "WHAT IF HE GETS SICK?!"

- The entire first 4-5 months are full of stress and mental strain that they really didn't need to be put under

- By the 6th month, they'd calmed considerable and started focusing on milestones

- a silent battle took place over whether the kid would say Mom or Dad first

- he said "Jeff." ...ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

- Maybe having Jeff as a babysitter so often was a bad idea XD

- Then about 2 years later, Aaron was born

- He was a lot more difficult than Lee had ever been

- Constant crying, got sick very often and always ended up having to get Jack for help

- He caused Toby and Clock a lot of needed worry which was finally warranted

- But as time went on, like most babies, he gradually calmed much to relief of the parents.

- As they got older, the brothers never really understood anything but the forest, they knew everyone but their parents as an aunt or uncle

- Toby took both boys out before at night to see Connie, of course from afar after they asked why they don't know their grandparents

- "Why don't we know Mom's parents?"

"Funny story actually..." (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

- She never told them the truth though :(

- Similarly to the way Sally was lied to about the murders, also goes for the second generation

- "Yeahhh, we help people sleep." (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

- The boys were both good friends with Alice and grew up hanging out in the forest (EJ and Nina's daughter, canon btw!)

- Clocky taught Lee to draw for fun and he ended up being better than her at it, which she was super proud of

- But eventually, the truth had to come out and so, the boys were told the truth when they were 15 and 13

- Lee already knew (smartass) (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)/J

- Aaron had literally no idea and was freaked out for like, a week

- "C'mon, you baby, you can't be serious."

"THEY'RE SERIAL KILLERS??!!"

"Obviously???"

- Eventually Aaron came around when he heard the full story of how they ended up there and accepted it

- Though, he wasn't sure about following in their footsteps...unlike Lee, who had been on a few missions with Alice already

- While on the fence, Aaron joined his brother and Alice on missions and realized he was extremely bad at handling gore

- "You've seen this stuff before, what's your problem?"

*Literally puking*

"Is...he okay?"

"He'll be fine."

- He was NOT fine, he was mortified

- He decided he probably wouldn't ever kill anything and became a total pacifist

- Instead, he opted to help out Jack with her "Doctor Stuff or whatever."

- While Alice and Lee spent most of their time doing missions and really getting into it and enjoying themselves...

- "OHHHHHH LEE'S GOT A GIRLFRIENNDDDD!!!!"

"SHUT UP! NO I DON'T!"

- "Does Lee have a girlfriend?"

"YES!"

"NO!"

- Maybe not a girlfriend but absolutely an awkward crush

- Very Dee and Lif from metal family (literally what I based them on XDD)

But who knows what the future holds? We'll all have to see cuz idk yet! XD

[doghartzy]

“#wrote a college entrance essay about this once” re: rpf research excuse me WHAT can you elaborate please 😭 (i say as someone who has also written some unhinged essays)

okay in my defense i didn't actually talk about rpf explicitly, but i did write about how one of the big draws of hockey for me was all the minute details and research rabbitholes you could get absorbed in. it's funny to look back on now because i think my understanding of hockey has come a long way, and also i'm kind of a completely different person than i was, lol. i'll put a few sections under the cut just for fun :3

But in late November of my ---- year, I turned on the television to watch a hockey game. It was the Flames and the Senators -- not exactly a nail-biter. I knew what to expect. I’d been to a college hockey game once at the University of North Dakota, and I’d been casually interested. But I certainly didn’t count on the Ottawa Senators setting the starting point of a great epoch of my life. The thing about hockey is that, leaving aside everything else about the sport -- statistics, personality, fanaticism, gameplay -- hockey is fun to watch. It’s fast-paced but easy to follow. All you have to do is keep track of the puck. Stoppages aren’t too common, but if they do happen, it’s probably because a penalty has been called, or because of a scrum, which both lead to more interesting circumstances. In short, hockey held my interest, and outpaced my notoriously short attention span. At least, that was how it started.

apparently i was rly trying to keep that harvard admissions officer on their toes lmao

Hockey culture is an unmitigated disaster. Awash with misogyny, masculine posturing, glorification of violence, and a thriving disrespect for the civil rights of minorities, it’s easy to brush hockey off as another antiquated hold-out of gladiatorial sports. Fans live and die for the blood of it. It’s especially easy to do so as a queer woman, someone who is definitely unwelcome in central hockey circles. It took me about ten minutes to understand that hockey Twitter, at least, was not worth a second of my time. But I hadn’t gotten as far as making it through an entire Senators game just to give up now. And finding other avenues of building community was easier than I thought. The Internet, it turns out, is shockingly versatile. Just as white male hockey fans all tend to congregate in the loud, wide-open spaces of fandom, the rest of us found areas out of view of the mainstream gaze. Within Tumblr tags, Discord groups, and even fanfiction archive forums, the women, hockey fans of color, and even us queers began to find each other. It was easier, then, to know where to start. In short order, hockey turned from something I watched as stress relief after a long school day to something I knew about. The people I talked to were knowledgeable, and the research I did on my own -- as was my wont -- helped substantiate. First it was about the teams, and then, when I had satisfied my knowledge there, the players. The politics. The rules, the statistics, the prospects. The slow stop-start of change initiatives like the Hockey Diversity Alliance. It turns out that hockey is an unquellable fount of things to learn, and it quickly became a way to collect things to know.

it's interesting to look back and see which things i felt it was important to highlight, especially given all the things that have happened in recent years with hockey culture. also please disregard all the identity flashing, i WAS trying to get into college, after all.

i go on to talk a bit about the demographic layout of the nhl & the draw of european leagues, plus why i started learning russian (to read kirill's insta posts), but that's the rpf-related section. if i were to rewrite this essay today it would be a completely different look at the world of hockey and its current landscape, but i'm giving myself some grace for having committed the crime of being 18 and not very smart.

[femmesandhoney]

Hey I hope this isn't too annoying of an ask, but literally how are you so happy at college? You're like the student I want to be, you're always posting on here about your classes and you're so engaged and seem so into it. Every semester for me is just another couple months of the time passing and panicking. I'm either completely paralyzed in bed or I'm crying in bed. Like, how do you seem so good at this?

it's not all sunshine and rainbows believe me. even my best friend has told me i come off as someone who "has it all figured out", but i often do not feel the same lol, i miss assignments, i stress out and procrastinate until the last minute, i get drained from all the work mentally and physically. all the regular college shit. outside of that tho, i legitimately love learning and interacting with others who are interested in what i like and who i can learn from. that's usually what keeps me happy! i love the people i meet in my classes, i like group discussions, i like being introduced to new things, i love my profs and take all the classes i can with them. generally, im just friendly w people in my classes and that makes me enjoy going to them, and i take classes i enjoy, and if they're reqs i don't care for, i always try to take something out of the experience.

some people do not find learning for the sake of learning fun, but i do, which makes even the roughest days okay, but that doesn't mean the tedious and demanding aspects of college curricula do not wear me down too. i decided to wait to go to grad school bc im exhausted! i am tired and need a break from always having another damn assignment to do and another article to read 😭 those things are taxing, and i already have bad self discipline habits, so you can imagine i often make stuff harder for myself than they need to be. the only reason i get good grades is bc im smart and have a relatively easy time understanding the subjects i study. if i take anything outside my favorite academic areas, like say the natural resources class i took a few years ago, that shit had me crying every damn day lmao.

so yeah, i just enjoy learning for learning sake, but also i like academia and going thru the motions of a classroom experience is fun to me for all the reasons i listed, including the fact i want to be a college professor and just enjoy that atmosphere a lot. i would wager if you're constantly frustrated by your college experience, maybe analyze a bit deeper on what you most dislike? is it specific profs, the people in ur classes, the subject material itself? if theres anything you can try and control to make it more agreeable for you, always take the opportunity, tho ik its not always possible. im lucky that all my areas of study have naturally wonderful people drawn to them (especially the international studies students!), but ik some majors can draw less nice people sometimes :( which can make ur experience harder than it should be. or some people legitimately do not enjoy the institutions that are schools and what they traditionally demand from a person, which is completely understandable. my best friend didn't go to college bc she barely graduated high school bc she hated attending and never turned in her hw. some people just do not thrive in such strict school environments for many reasons. but whatever your case is, i hope you have easier semesters in the future if you continue, no one should ever be so stressed from a class that they cry over it. i think thats a failure of a class and a professor when that occurs, and a sign of a bad class/prof rather than a bad student.

[bindupthesebrokenbones]

Today's Thankful Thursday exercise is to write a letter of gratitude. You don't have to send it if you don't want to - you don't even have to address it to a single person, or a real person.

For example, I regularly write letters to an angel, who I tell about all the things that are going on in my life. It's not quite prayer, and there's no structure to it, but having a solid entity that I address helps a lot with getting out the thoughts.

So, let's get started!

Step 1: Identify your target

As you may know, all letters start with a salutation. If you're writing your gratitude letter to a specific person, you would write "Dear Aunt Sally," for example, or "Dear mom". If you would prefer to write your letter to an entity, you can try "Dear God," or "Dear Frodo Baggins," or any other being of religious, cultural, or fandom/hobby significance to you.

You can also go with "Dear Diary," or "Dear Journal," if you'd like to keep this letter in your private journal. The idea here is to have a target that you're addressing, whether you intend to pass this letter along or not.

Step 2: Determine your format

If you're writing this letter to a specific person, then the format of your letter is going to center on what you're grateful to that person for.

"Dear mom,

Thank you for always being there for me. I'm so grateful for the way that you have my back in difficult situations, and how you stand up for me when I struggle to hold my own."

If you're writing in more of a diary/journal format, the letter will look a little different. It will be more general and broad, rather than focusing on a single person.

"Dear Diary,

I'm thankful for the bright sun today. The good weather made it easy for me to go out and spend some time with my friends at the park. I had a lot of fun that I might have skipped if it had been cloudy or raining."

And if you're addressing your letter to an entity, a higher being that you don't necessarily interact with one on one, or even a fictional character, you could pick either of these formats, or combine them.

"Dear Mr. Baggins,

Thank you for being the sort of character that I can admire and draw inspiration from. Today I went out with some of my friends, and while we didn't go on a long journey across the continent to save the world, we still had a lot of fun, and being so familiar with your story made me appreciate what I get to have and experience even more."

Just remember, a gratitude letter is different from a gratitude log - you don't have to write the letter like a list of things you're grateful for. Just talk about things that went well, that you appreciate, and that you want to call attention to as being positive.

Step 3: Write the Letter

Now that you've decided who you're writing to and how you're addressing them, all that's left is to write the letter. Try to narrow the focus in to a single incident or event if you can. Even if you're writing to someone and you feel that you have a lot to thank them for, or that your thanks are long overdue, you don't want to go on too much of a tangent - that way lies choppy waters. My recommendation is to write 1-2 pages. Less than that and you're not getting the full benefit of the exercise, and more than that and you might get overwhelmed or stress yourself out.

You can do this! And I'll see you all tomorrow for Finance Friday~

[monstersinthecosmos]

🔮

🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

!!!! Yes, absolutely.

I have three main approaches to this for myself, and I know everyone's brains and writing habits are different so yknow like take it or leave it or modify it to your own needs but here's three things I always fall back on when I'm stuck.

Be kind to yourself.

Be honest with yourself. Is there a reason the writing needs to be done NOW? You are not a machine. If it's not there, it's not there. Obviously this doesn't apply if you have deadlines to meet but if you're writing for fun, don't get so twisted up about it that it's not fun anymore. WHAT ARE WE DOIN HERE FELLAS?! It's okay to take a break and recover until it feels right again, you don't have to fill a quota.

Set extremely small goals.

I try to write 100 words a day because I have ADHD and I get crazy burnout and/or I go into creative frenzies where I binge write for 3 days and don't do the dishes. There's a balance in here somewhere lol. An easy goal and a routine can help a lot. 100 words is a joke. But there are days where it's a HUGE struggle. But it's still doable, and I walk away feeling like I chiseled away at the idea a little bit.

I can't stress enough that you can't push yourself THROUGH burnout, and this can go to any type of burnout. (I feel this way about house keeping too LOL). You're drawing from an empty well. Be honest with yourself, be kind to yourself, set a realistic goal. If you're burnt out you're not gonna sit down and crank out 2k in an evening, you just aren't, and if you try to force it you're just gonna feel worse when you can't do it. Be gentle. Make easy goals. Ease yourself back into it.

And don't forget, sometimes chiseling away is just exactly what you need to do. I sometimes go weeks where I put in 100 words at a time on a fic and then finally I make it through the hard part and 6k floods out of me all at once. Chiseling away is good. You will find your way back when you get through the hard part.

(Also, even if you're chiseling away with garbgae & nonsense, that's okay! You can edit it later! A sloppy first draft is better than no draft!)

Refill the well.

Speaking of drawing from an empty well; creativity requires an input and an output, imo. That's my personal opinion!! Sometimes you need to take a break and work on the input stream, too. Take a week where you watch a movie every night instead of trying to write. Reread a book from an author you admire. Stare at some paintings. Listen to your headphones in the dark, whatever the fuck it is !

You're running on empty! And it's not just the basic human energy to function! It's the creativity! It's the inspiration! If you're writing a fic, revisit the source! Remind yourself why you like it! If a movie or song or picture gave you the idea for your fic, go back to that! Absorb it, replenish yourself!!!!!

I know sometimes when I talk writing stuff that I speak about it more like, idk philosophically? And I know others might have technical advice, like write scenes out of order, change the font, sit in a different area of the house, find a friend to cheerlead! All of those things can work, too, and I try them sometimes. ((I have more to say about this and about how outlines are my lord & savior when writing with ADHD and trying to chisel away a scene at a time)) But like, all of that I think is a bit secondary to just being kind to yourself and taking care of your mental health first and getting yourself back into a place where you CAN be creative and find that drive again.

My life would be a fucking shambles if I couldn't make lil routines for myself with the ADHD and Brain Problems and whatnot and I leave myself an hour every day to write, right before bedtime! 9-10pm every night I'm CLOCKIN IN! And for me it's like a lil reward at the end of the day, so that I can like unwind, end the day, stop worrying about whatever else I didn't get done, etc. Making space for it as a fun activity and a reward is essential for me, and I still get stuck sometimes, but going back to these ideas helps me a lot!!!!!!!!!!!