#also this took me so long to do so im definitely no longer drunk as i was when i got this ask but ty for ur kind concern ;3;

[spiteless-xo]

hi tiff! i love tbaw so much that i went back and read tbas and it got me thinking about why pieck and reader don't get along. i kinda agree with pieck that tbaw reader was rude first bc we see in tbas that mikasa/reader was standoffish when they first met. they're both pretty messy but tbh i think pieck was a bit more mature bc at least she realised a relationship with jean wouldn't work out. do u think pieck was kinda testing reader when she was flirting with jean earlier on bc she knows they have feelings for each other but reader also likes eren and pieck doesn't want jean to be toyed with again. or maybe she really was just being a bitch hahaha. i think it's also exaggerated obviously through readers pov like could have all just been harmless jokes and glances. idk why ive thought about this so much but had to share haha

hehehe idk where you guys came from with all the asks but i love them 🥺 tysm for asking!! sorry it took me so long to respond, i ended up having a video call w some old friends last night and got drunk lol

pieck is very underdeveloped in tbaw tbh 🙈 she originally had a much larger role but i cut it back a lot because it would've made the story a lot longer and i wanted to end it around 300k

reader doesn't like pieck because she's the ex-girlfriend of the guy she likes, pieck cheated on jean, and because she's worried that jean is going to want to get back together with her. i think reader's perception of jean and pieck's interactions were definitely a little exaggerated, but pieck wasn't completely innocent.

i think to understand pieck in tbaw you have to consider what her relationships were like before tbaw, so as tbas!reader. im kinda gonna touch on this a bit in a future chapter, but not really in this much detail.

kinda tbaw spoilers not really??

her first relationship was with zeke who we know is super awful and toxic. he didn’t care about her at all outside of sex and made her feel like she was gross for being sexually active (while also being very sexually degrading to her), so she definitely has some issues from that previous relationship that she probably never really healed from.

especially when she started dating porco right after, who started as just a horny hookup. she equates a lot of her self-worth around sex/how sexually desirable she is to men.

i think she sees tbaw!reader as a threat because she doesn’t want jean to move on from her. she wants to know that jean is still attracted to her/wants to be with her EVEN THOUGH she's happily in a relationship with another guy. she just needs that validation thanks to how badly zeke fucked her up.

it's almost like self-sabotage in a way. she doesn't actually want jean, she just wants jean to want her, even if that's at the expense of her current bf's feelings. she's insecure that porco will leave her if he no longer thinks she's desirable, so she wants to create this competition and desirability by flirting with jean.

in pieck's larger role in tbaw, she showcased a lot of how zeke's behaviour damaged her. it was supposed to help flesh out eren's crimes from his scumbag era by showing a character who was a victim of men like eren and how it affected them later in life.

but yeah, it would've really lengthened the story so i ended up cutting it out, so now pieck's storyline in tbaw feels little stunted imo

[fiendfremd]

Okay I'm going to post my thoughts on this last year, upcoming year and upcoming 10th year anniversary of making games behind the cut. I want to be as honest as possible so it might be kinda sad down there. You have been warned.

2022 was a weird year for me. I started off strong and things just slowly got worse over time.

I was invited to the Tiny Games Bundle and had a blast making Tomorrow for Mar for that. I'm ultimately sad about what happened to the bundle bc I still think it's a fantastic idea, it just wasn't in the cards.

Next was nano and starting work on Butterblue. At the time this felt like a mistake, I was coming straight off the back of finishing Tomorrow for Mar and I was exhausted and I knew I couldn't finish it in time and was aiming for a demo.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things I could have done. Honestly, I just really really want to make farming sims crossed with VNs and I knew if I pushed that off any longer I'd be dying. So even though I only finished a demo and the response was pretty lukewarm, I'm glad I finally started on the projects I've been wanting to make for so long.

After nano I had a month off which was good because I then jumped into Otomejam with a team!

Aaannddd this is why this is behind a read more on my secret personal blog lol.

The jam ended with me having a mental breakdown as I sat crying on my garage floor sobbing unable to move as my neighbors were drunk karaoke-ing Country Roads.

I did not have a good time with this jam. It started fine but then took a bad turn for the worse at the tail end of development. I was told "its okay to ask for help!" And then when I asked for help I was ripped into. The whole process was extremely mercenary-esque and that just... isn't really what I was looking for.

I'm in a lot of pain and whatever it is I'm looking for with my creative passions, I'm not getting it from working in groups in gamejams.

I like making games. I like making bad games. I like expressing myself.

I'm not able to make games on a professional level. I am not a professional gamedev, despite the fact that I work on them like 3 hours a day.

This has continuously clashed with a lot of the gamedev spheres I've been in. So many people have approached me and its later come out that they saw me as a "charity case". That if I "just marketed myself more, polished off all these edges and be normal for one day" I would be a Viral Hit.

Uh. I can't be "normal" for one day. The stuff that makes my work so unique is also what fucks it up from finding any sort of mainstream success. And sometimes I'm okay with that. But a lot of times I'm sad not bc im sad about not being "successful" but because so many people see me as that "Charity Case".

If I ever work with a group again for a gamejam I will be ultra clear that at the end of it we will have: 1 finished game, 3 comments, and maybe 20 notes across the social media landscape. That's it. That's what is going to be made. And expecting more than that will make you disappointed and I sure hope you don't end up blaming me!! 💦💦💦

After otomejam I just. Imploded. I worked on butterblue but at a much slower pace. It was good to work on something just to keep my mind off of everything.

It's been hard this year. Coming into 2022 I thought I had a great lineup for the year, and I was able to finish all my projects (with butterblue pending) but it was extremely painful getting there.

Not only was "online gamedev activities" painful this year but "offline gamedev activities" was the worst yet.

I tried to restart my local gamedev club and during one of the meetings there was this guy just GLARING at me the whole time. I had to physically bring the textbooks I was cited in to get any sort of foothold in the room. These meetups aren't for creatives finding like minded creatives. It's for entrepreneurial tech bros to have dick measuring contests.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. People show you who they are. My biggest flaw is that I don't believe people when they show me who they are. I think "they can't possibly be that bad...." or "well I did say something stupid, that's why they yelled at me". I keep choosing to go to these same gamedev groups and finding the same people who are the same type of dismissive toward me and I keep surprised pikachu meme-ing. At this point, I've been through 4 different state wide gamedev groups that share roughly the same handful of people.

There's no place for me in the community that exists.

It's hard and I've been fighting it, thinking "well certainly one of these has to work". But it's been 10 years since I first started making games, and 6 years since I started attending local gamedev clubs in my area. I have searched high and low. Through valley and mountain. There is no place for me.

Maybe that's a death sentence. I certainly felt that way the last few years and was so desperate to make anything work. But I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm still here making games.

Maybe it's a death sentence. But it's not a quick death. It's a slow death, carried out over the years by progressive isolation.

But maybe that's also just life.

So as of now, I've stopped trying. I dropped out of all the gamedev clubs I've ever been in. (Save for one I'm waiting until after magfest to leave) Next year... idk. I don't know what my plans are, outside of finishing butterblue and working on a friend's game.

I want to chase things that bring me joy. If everything else is fucked beyond recognition, I at least want to have fun doing it.

I love making art and creative works. I love farming sims and I love strategy games. And there isn't a place for me at any of the "gamedev" tables but I'll make do anyway.

[ryujin-zanba]

Recently my brain supplied me with the headcannon that Aizawa keeps a picture of every single one of his classes in a box or a scrapbook, along with birthday/holiday cards and even newspaper cutouts of his students because he’s a very proud dad. In the current point in the series it’s just a few things but when he’s older, and then retired,it’s so filled with good memories and it reminds him why he chose the life he chose.(hope you have a very good day and drink lots of water)

i’m already so in love with the idea of a happily retired aizawa, but a happily retired aizawa who hangs onto keepsakes from his teaching days is even sweeter. ty for this hc anon 😭❤️

edit: text transcript of newspaper articles can be read here!

[harrysgoldenline]

When In Italy Part 4

here is part 4! Um this chapter has bad words and some adult themes so warning for that! The next part will be the last, so let me know what you think! Are they end game or no? Also! If you want a personalized imagine, check out my pinned post! If you want to support me ---> please click here! every little bit helps bc im a broke ass college student so thank u to anyone who wants to support me :)

All comments and feedback are welcome and encouraged!! :)

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

You stood frozen as he stepped out of the elevator, his eyes soft as he met yours, waking towards you.

“Get away from me.” you whisper, attempting to push past him and get into the elevator, pressing the door closed button before even pressing a floor, not wanting him to get any closer.

“Y/N, wait!” he rushed, sticking his hand between the doors and stopping it, his tall frame standing before you that you quickly push past, going back to lock yourself in your apartment, and lock him out, “Please, let me explai-“

“No!” you stopped, voice firm as you turned to face him, “you can’t keep doing this! you can’t keep showing up like this! So just leave me alone.”

You kept walking, ignoring his pleas as he came after you, successfully unlocking your apartment door rapidly, but you catch a glimpse of rings as he hand stops the door.

“Please.” He whispered, not pushing the door open and you saw a flicker of his eyes and you could almost see the sincerity in them, “I know I don’t deserve it, I really don’t, but I would just love to talk to you for real this time, anything you want to know.”

“and you’re not gonna be an asshole this time?” you asked, leaning against the doorframe, peaking at him, “because if you are, I swear to god Styles I will give you 5 seconds to get the fuck out.”

“Promise.” He nodded and your heart believed him, so you opened the door.

You watched as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, slowly entering your apartment and you didn’t miss how his eyes scanned you quickly, before bouncing around the apartment, looking around the space he used to be so familiar with.

You watched how he headed to the couch about to sit but stutter stepped a bit, scratching the back of his neck and looking at you, almost asking you if it’s okay if he sits down.

You gave him a soft smile and nod, tucking a loose hair behind your ear and sitting on one side of the couch, thankful he sat on the other, giving you each plenty of space as your eyes met. The tension was slowly rising, looking at each other as you sat, wondering who was going to break the silence.

“I never meant for anything to happen.” he whispered, his head falling as a shameful look covered his face, avoiding your eyes, “After the breakup… I- I was just lost. I was messing up at work and I just was doing shit. Then, it was like only like a month ago, I was getting drunk all the time and she just came into my trailer and we were talking and then she kissed me.”

You just nodded, biting your bottom lip and picking at your nails, peaking up and looking at him, your glossy eyes meeting his bloodshot ones, not really having anything to say in response.

“And I just…” he started, “I wanted to feel better, feel anything. So, we just started hanging out more and I just really wanted to feel something, feel a connection. So we took a trip to Italy because… It’s always been a place that made me feel better and then…”

“Yeah.” you chuckled, “and then… Why did you bring her to our house? I know we haven’t talked about that kind of stuff, but it’s mine too Harry and… just seeing you two there? I never felt more replaceable than I did when I saw you two.”

“Oh love, no.” He whispered, scooting closer to you, a hand coming up to cup your face to help your eyes meet, but he retracted it back before he made contact with your skin, “I’m so, so sorry. I’m so sorry and I will never be able to prove to you, but that was never my intention to ever hurt you. The breakup was a mistake.”

“I… How am I supposed to believe that?” you squeaked, voice cracking as the barrier breaks, tears falling on your cheeks as you looked up at him, “We we’re together for years and you just- I mean fuck Harry! I haven’t even thought about even starting to flirt with someone and you’re…”

“We’ve never had sex,” He quietly added cheeks turning a bit red, “or done anything like that. At all, I just… couldn’t.”

Your eyes widen a bit at the confession, watching as he looked at his hands, a slight twinge of embarrassment on his features.

“Oh.” you whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be mad, we… we aren’t together and you have have the right to do whatever you want but it’s just… hard. Especially when I wasn’t expecting it. I went to Italy to try and get away, everything in the city makes me think of you, I don’t know why I thought staying at the house would be any better but, I just wanted to get away.”

“Sorry I ruined your trip.”

“Sorry I ruined your hookups.”

He let out a laugh, the smile staying a bit longer when he noticed you had subconsciously scooted a bit closer to him.

“It’s not like I ever really wanted to… Even little Harry only wants you.” he flirted and an instant, loud laugh leaves your lips, leaning forward and your brace yourself on his shoulder, a simple thing you had done over the years countless times, but still made his heart skip a beat.

“Oh my god,” you said between breathless laughs, your bodies now less then a foot apart as you smiled up at him, “please do not call it little Harry!”

“What do you prefer?” He smirked, “rather I call it bi-“

“What the fuck?” a voice spoke suddenly, both of your red eyes going to your front door and seeing your best friend standing their, her eyes wide in a mix of confusion and anger. Your hand retracted from his body quickly, your best friend looking at you with soft eyes, her eyes darting over to Harry’s and you see the fiery anger behind them, “Y/N, please tell me he was getting whatever shit he left behind and is leaving.”

“We were just talking.” You started, glancing over at Harry, seeing a bit of fear behind his eyes and your lips quirked up in a smile that quickly faded seeing the anger in y/bff/n eyes.

“What do you want to talk to him about? How he broke your heart again?” She asked, confusion and concern laced in her voice, “I’m sorry, y/n, I just… I can’t watch you go through all of it all over again and again.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he quickly stood up beside you giving you a quick nod as he glanced over at y/bff/n the back at you, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just showed up. It was so good to see you, y/n, I’ll get out of your way.”

“Harry, wait!” you stood up, hating the softening in your voice, “I want to talk more… are you staying or do you have to go back to L.A?”

“I’ll be here as long as you need me. And if you want me gone, I’ll book my flight. Okay? It’s up to you, whatever you want.”

“Okay… Can I call you later?”

“You can call me anytime, I’ll pick up.”

***

Y/bff/n definitely wasn’t thrilled with you.

“I just feel like this is a bad idea, y/n!” She had exclaimed once Harry had left your apartment, “He’s gonna hurt you again! What could he possibly want?”

“I dont know, I just… I dont know.” You sighed, sitting across from her on your couch just like you did with him, “I love him and I don’t know what’s going to happen but I don’t want to end up hating him.”

She nodded, looking at you as your eyes glazed over again, “Hey, okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you upset. Do you still wanna go try this new place or just hang out here? Let’s get your mind off of everything, you need a break, yeah? Especially if you’re going to talk to him later.”

“Do you think I should?"

“If that’s what you think, I think you should. You know him.” She nods, “but I swear to god if he makes you cry again he’ll have to deal with me.”

So now, here you were, waiting on him to come back to finish your talk from earlier. It was helpful hanging out with y/bff/n, listening to her advice as she gave you a bit of the reality check that you needed, making sure he won’t sweep you off your feet with his familiar charm.

Your heart rate never fully calmed down as you waited for him to come back to your apartment after y/bff/n dropped you back off after your afternoon together and you were glad for the few hours of a distraction, but now your mind was fully occupied with him once again as you sat on your couch.

The knock on your door caused you to jump, hoping up and checking your appearance in your hall mirror before swinging open the door, seeing Harry standing their with a bouquet of flowers, a small smile on his face.

“Got these for you,” he began, “shoulda showed up with them when I kinda crashed into you earlier… but I was so nervous I didn’t think about it, honestly.”

“Thank you.” You softly replied, eyeing up at him and taking them from his grip, letting out a shaky breath as you welcome him in and turn on your heel, going to your kitchen to place them into a vase quickly before going back to him, seeing him in the same spot you two were sitting in earlier.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry again… and thank you for letting me come back and talk to you at all, really don’t deserve your time, but I’m thankful for it.” He began, eyes glued onto yours as he scooted closer to you when you sat down, his fingers tentatively trailing on your arm before laying his hand on your own, “I… I want you back, y/n. I want to be with you, I never stopped wanting just you.”

“Harry, I… I don’t know what to say.” You started, “I just… there’s so much still up in the air and it’s all happening so fast. Are you still with Olivia?”

“No, of course not.” He instantly answered, “we were never anything real, I left Italy when I went to the house and you were gone. I came back here and I just… I would sit outside your building in my car and just try and get the nerve to walk in to talk to you, but I was so scared of you telling me to leave again.” Harry started deep into your eyes as he continued, his own welling up with tears, “I love you so much and I was such an idiot and fuck baby… I’ll do anything to prove it you.”

Now, you two were just inches apart, his hand cupping your cheek as you leaned into it, eyes glued onto his eyes as both of your gazes were glassy, sets of eyes wandering down to one another’s lips. Your eyes fluttered up and looked at him, his nose nudging into yours, seeming to test the boundary and you simply nodded, causing him to connect your lips in an instant.

Your lips met softly, gaining speed as the passion overflowed you both as the familiar move came back easier than either of you could have imagined. You both moaned into one another’s mouths, his tongue quickly sliding past your lips as your crawled onto his lap, fingers gripping the soft material of his shirt.

Things escalated quickly as he carried you into your bedroom, body hovering over yours as his body pressed against yours, the articles of clothing disappearing piece by piece, lips never separating a second longer than they had to you as you refamilarized yourselves with one another.

His fingers dug their way into your waist as he kissed you harder, singular pieces of thin material being the only things separating you and as Harrys fingers slipped down, pulling back and looking up at you for permission, your breath caught in your throat, reality hitting you like a wave.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered, fingers removing themselves from his hair as you covered your face, voice wavering as tears welled up in your eyes once again, “I-it’s all too much, too fast- I-I, I don’t think I can do this, Harry- I can’t.”

“Fuck, it’s okay.” He whispered, crawling off from on top of you, scrambling to pick his t shirt off the floor and handing to you, quickly covering your body with it, “Fuck, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

You nodded quickly, knees tucking into your chest as you let out soft cries, flinching as his arm came around you, going to comfort you with the soft stroke of his arm and retracted it quickly after seeing your reaction.

“I-I… I just keep seeing you and her in my head.” You whispered, “…I don’t know if I can do this.”

[peachiimilquetea]

hello it is i back again with another dom reader request akshskdja i also just read the player bf one and oh 😩👌 delicious.

It's a university student setting and a little bit of enemies to lovers trope i might say 👀 in this one its your choice if u want a specific character or your own for the sub boy.

So reader and the guy aren't really in good terms. Tho you two aren't like the extreme enemies type but you just don't get along. It's more on like the personality, i suppose. You, reader being the quiet type of famous that has a specific group of friends and are the type to be more private on personal matters, and then him being the noisy kind of famous, the guy that almost everyone in the university knows and could talk to anyone and literally knows every rumor there is.

You can decide whatever reason the guy has for not liking the reader as I've just thought that it's because they're personalities as well as their group of people are literally the exact opposite. Though one thing they have in common is that they're pretty known students (as well as sleep around 👀) anyways, a birthday party comes up and the guy gets drunk and the reader takes it as a chance to play with the guy hehe tho reader wouldn't do it to the extreme ya know the deed as he is drunk but that doesn't stop reader from teasing him at least 👀 long story short the general idea is that they don't like each other, but when the guy got drunk and reader pleasur--played him ehem, he woke up sober the next day remembering everything that happened that night and got super flustered aAAA. Days passed normal until when you were alone planning to go somewhere, a hand suddenly grabbed you and pulled you in an unused classroom and there the guy is glaring at you with his red face. Turns out he can't forget whatever you did back then and couldn't focus so he didn't have a choice but to seek you out and do it agai--help him out 👀 so in a way the guy is a tsundere since he doesn't want to admit that he likes whatever reader is doing while reader likes teasing him hihi

This sounded way more understandable in my head i hope it makes sense kajdlajdlaksak

𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫

a/n: ok this has been sitting in my ask box for so long (IM SO SORRY I JUST DIDNT KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT) bc it felt like a multipart fic, but it could also just be a very very long one shot, so i decided to go the one shot route. its honestly not that long either which is a miracle in itself but it definitely took a lot longer than i thought to write it. i hope you don't mind me making the character kuroo idk it felt like it fit

contains: dom!reader, sub!kuroo, a lil bit of switch action, every single cliche known to man BDHSBSHEH, oral (both!receiving), facesitting, cowgirl, rivals to lovers, afab/fem!reader (mostly gn except for a mention of wearing panties), dubcon if you squint, light degradation (kuroo gets called a dumb slut n some other stuff), light choking (m!receiving)

disclaimer: this was lightly proofread so... pls let me know if you find any errors lol

length: 2.2k

popularity was never really your strong suit.

as a kid, your goal was never to be popular. you had your head screwed on right, as most of the adults in your life would say and so you made no room for silly competitions among your peers. for what? approval? baseless approval would get you nowhere, so you set your sights on being smart, competent, and reliable.

and it worked. you got into your college of choice with a full ride, giving you the freedom to pursue your degree with virtually no worries.

but somehow through a twist of ironic fate, you had become well known around campus, not for your intellect, but for everything else. you never considered yourself out of the ordinary in your own right, but after a few conversations in a few classes, people began to treat you as such.

it was a natural charm you possessed, a calming disposition that made people around you feel seen, and as a result, your friend group rose to popularity.

but as with every cliche, things would never be so calm all the time. there was a secondary group of popular people on campus, a group of sports stars to be specific. the school specialized in volleyball of all things and so the D1 players on the team were treated like gods. most of them were tolerable, but one always managed to get under your skin,

with him it was obvious as to why he was so popular. he was attractive, talented, and very smart. a biochemistry major of all things but you would never know it by observing how he interacted with others.

with him it was obvious as to why he was so popular. he was attractive, talented, and very smart. a biochemistry major of all things but you would never know it by observing how he interacted with others.

the only thing you two had in common was the raunchy reputations that preceded you. just because you were reserved and diligent in your studies, didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to let yourself go every now and then. what could you say, men were easy, and more often than not they got the job done.

kuroo tetsuro, however, was a whore. and you were next on his list.

he made it very known that he had set his sights on you, teasing you very openly whenever you found yourself in the same vicinity of one another. he was relentless, never giving you a break and relishing in how flustered his attention made you. it was infuriating.

so more times you opted to avoid him.

you felt the walls and floors vibrate under you from the heavy bass of the music. the frat party that your roommates had dragged you to wasn’t your preferred way of spending your friday night, but there was free alcohol and how could you say no to that?

you stayed on the sidelines for most of the night, mingling with a few of your acquaintances and trying to blend into the crowd of intoxicated college students that were scattered across the house.

“_____! hey how are you?” one of the frat boys asked, coming from around the corner.

“I’m doing ok! happy birthday!” you beamed up at him.

the two of you talked for a few minutes, catching up on all sorts, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of intense eyes on you. it was him, it had to be him, but you ignored it, trying your best to enjoy the night

disinterest had never been a deterrent before, and kuroo felt your body tense as he came behind you and threw his arm over your shoulder.

“how’re you doing tonight, gorgeous? i haven't seen you all night.”

you sighed and smiled apologetically for cutting your prior conversation short. the faint smell of alcohol wafted off kuroo as he leaned over you, spewing all sorts of slurred pickup lines at you, much to your dismay.

you moved out from underneath him, slightly amused as he wobbled on his own two feet, and decided to head towards the bathroom. you didn't notice him follow you.

“running away from me so soon?”

you sighed and rubbed your temples, “can you just leave me alone, please? im not in the mood for your incessant talking tonight.”

he smirked at you, coming up behind you to rest his hands on your waist, “don't lie to me, baby. I've seen you looking for me around campus. you're curious about me, i can tell.”

your breath hitched as he touched you, even in this state careful not to go too low or squeeze too hard.

“if you want me to stop just let me know,” he whispered, as he pushed himself up against you, letting your head roll back to rest on his chest as he explored your body.

in an instant, you had flipped around and pinned him against the cool tiled bathroom walls. he swallowed as he looked into your eyes, surprised at just how strong you were.

“don’t think by giving me an out you can weasel your way out of things. you want me? you’ll have me on my terms.”

and he did have you. in multiple ways. in a flurry of hands and lips groping and teasing, the two of you enjoyed yourselves that night. afterward, kuroo had made himself scarce, almost seeming to avoid you around campus.

it seemed like all he wanted to do was make you a notch on his belt, claim his proverbial prize and leave you high and dry. you didn't mind that he was finally leaving you alone, but it irked something in you, because in reality, he hadn't really claimed you at all.

he had submitted to you that night, and the both of you knew from the way he acted when you were done. you had never seen him so quiet, so unsure of himself, and before you could say anything to him he was already gone.

you decided to take his newfound absence in stride and act as normal. at least a week went by before you were walking back to your dorm after a late afternoon lecture and felt yourself being pulled into a nearby empty classroom.

“what the-”

elbowing whoever grabbed you in the chest, you turned around to fight, only to be faced with none other than kuroo tetsuro himself.

“what the fuck, kuroo?”

“testuro,” he corrected, and you quirked your eyebrow at him. taking your stare and silence as a cue, he continued, “can we- uh.. can we talk about what happened? that night?”

he was stammering as he talked to you, light blush dusting his cheeks and you almost thought he was going to tell you he regretted it, but you knew better than that. you could easily see through his useless facade, noticing the half chub he sported in his pants as he stumbled over his words. he was utterly enamored with you and the things you did to him. it was cute.

“tetsuro..” you purred and the sound of his voice fizzled out, “why did you really pull me in here hm?”

“well i-”

“actually, i know why. we’re all alone, nobody comes in here on a regular basis. and youre blushing like mad for me, tripping over your words like a dumb slut.”

you almost missed hit, but he whimpered at your choice of name for him, avoiding your gaze as you moved closer to him.

“well?” you asked, “you don't want to answer your mistress the way you did before?”

“no mistress! i…”

“ah so i was right,” you grinned, putting your hands on his shoulders and pushing him down to sit on one of the seats, “you missed me didn't you?”

slowly, he nodded, shame radiating off him in waves. the poor boy was so confused. he didn't know why he had felt such a pull to you, such a desire. he didn't even realize you had awakened something new in him until he woke up the next morning, aching and hard from dreaming of your touch all night.

he tried to avoid you for as long as he could but, resistance was futile. he needed this… and you wanted to give it to him. you pulled him closer to the edge of the seat by his belt loops, running your hands over his thighs and lightly dragging your nails over them. he squirmed above you but you held him down, reminding him who was in charge.

his pants pooled around his ankles in an instant and he watched with baited breath as you watched his cock strain in his briefs.

“i feel so bad for you baby. you've been so pent up without me, hm?”

tetsuro’s hands scrambled to find purchase on something as you grabbed him suddenly. the sloppy way with which you stroked him had him keening, softly bucking himself further into you and panting like a dog. your hot breath fanned his exposed dick and he whined, beside himself with how good it felt to let you do all the work.

his bit his lip hard as you sucked him into your hot mouth. balls in one hand, base of his cock in the other, you swirled your tongue around, hollowing out your cheeks around him. he could feel the pressure building in his lower abdomen, but couldn't even string together the words to tell you he was close.

his mind was so fuzzy and everything felt so good he just couldn't take it-

“m’sorry mistress im- hngh”

kuroo came down your throat, gripping your hair to steady himself. his mind went blank for a second, groaning lowly and almost forgetting where he was.

you were straddling him again in an instant, hands roaming around underneath his shirt and tweaking his nipples. he cried out, thrusting up and making you bounce on him over your panties.

“do you want to make mistress feel good?” you asked, moving up the length of his body. he moaned out a shaky yes as he watched your dripping core hover over his face.

he nudged you with his nose, straining his neck to taste you, but you kept yourself just out of reach, teasing him. at this point, any embarrassment or shame that still remained had disappeared, and kuroo whimpered desperate pleas for you to just sit on his face and smother him. you obliged, lowering yourself onto him slowly.

his tongue moved in long languid strokes, licking up the expanse of your cunt, and teasing your entrance. you understood why the entire campus couldn't stop talking about his skills, as you felt high off the way he payed attention to your clit, and ate you out with care.

“t-tetsu- baby im so close keep going,” you moaned and he groaned back, gripping your thighs to pull you down harder onto him. you ground your hips against his face, teasing your nipples to bring yourself closer to the end.

the coil in the pit of your stomach wound itself tighter, until it snapped, making you cry out and quickly slap a hand over your mouth to muffle yourself. kuroo continued to lick and suck and you felt your thighs burn and hips spasm from slighter overstimulation.

“p-please, no more” you rasped and he let you move back down, sitting on top of his ever-growing cock once again.

he smirked at your disheveled state, a bit of his cockiness coming back. lets remedy that, you thought and grabbed him swiftly, prodding his tip at your entrance.

“aH- mistress wha-”

you swiftly sunk down on him, chasing your next high with fervor. surprised, his hands found your hips and thighs, and he watched you as you moved up and down on him. you looked like an angel to him, a vision of beauty matched by no one else, but he couldn't say that and so he just moaned, feeling like he was in heaven.

your hand snaked around his throat, taking him by surprise once again as he choked out wait.

you didnt wait to him as you softly squeezed the sides of his neck, making kuroo tense and arch his back. he had never reached such a state of euphoria or ever been so close so fast. he was convinced you were magic.

“c-cumming- gon- hah- cum again!- m’gonna-”

his hold on your hips tightened as you helped him ride out his second orgasm. his entire body slumped down in the seat, and you held him close as the two of you calmed your breathing.

“so this whole time you just wanted me to put you in your place?” you giggled breathlessly and kuroo held you closer.

“i didnt even know i was into that to be honest,” he mumbled into your skin.

you stayed cuddled up together for a little bit until you checked the time, realizing they were going to start locking up classrooms soon. he winced as you dismounted him, throwing your clothes on and making sure you didnt leave anything behind. he just watched you as you moved, still in a bit of a poist coital glow,

“did you ever want to do this? again i mean?” he asked, voice small and hopeful.

closing the gap between you, you caressed his face, “ill see you around tetsuro.”

[dripkingpetey]

3 times you thought of each other after the breakup+the 1 time you realized you were the one for each other-b.boeser

a/n:hey! this is my first time writing in months so I really hope you enjoy it! its just a little 3+1 I put together last night so it might not be the best :) im trying to get back into writing again (I said that last time too lol) also this was supposed to be angsty but idk what it turned into haha

The first time

“Yeah uh, I’ll just grab these and go.” Brock mumbled to himself as he walked into your apartment, scared to make eye contact with you, let alone talking to you. And your heart ached, partly because you still loved him, and partly because you couldn’t believe what Brock had done to you. 

Brock gathered his things and headed for the door wanting to hear you talk for one last time. “Y/n, I’m really so-” Brock tried to say before you shut the door in his face, you couldn’t handle it anymore. After you shut the door you practically broke down into tears, sliding down the door with your back against it.

Brock still walking your apartment brought back all of the fun memories, well all of the fun memories before you found out about his little fling he was having with a girl back home, in Minnesota. It had happened during the off-season, you had originally gone with Brock but had to return to Vancouver early due to your job. If Jake didn’t get drunk one night and slip out the secret you never would’ve known. But part of you almost didn’t want to know, part of you wondered what would’ve happened if you never found out, would you and Brock still be together? Or would he cheat on you again with someone else? 

On the other side of the door, Brock was also breaking down into tears, trying to hold them back till he got into his car, that’s when he let it all go. Yelling at himself about being so stupid to let it happen, to let you go like that. Brock didn’t say it but he was still in love with you, so in love that he’s acting insane, sitting in his car as he sniffed the hoodies he left for you, they all smelt like you, everything did.

The second time

Things with you and Jake stayed the same, you and him had always been the closest out of all of Brocks teammates and honestly, he was the only one to reached out genuinely. And tonight he just so happened to ask you to go out for drinks, he knew the team was going on a long road trip next week and had to catch up with you before he left. Usually you would be dreading for the Canucks to go on a road trip since Brock would be gone, but this time? You were happy, happy that there was no chance of you running into Brock randomly. 

“Hey you probably don’t wanna hear this but Brock was talking about you non-stop today.” Jake mumbled with a frown, you sighed and gave him a look, telling Jake to tell you what Brock said immediately. “He said his mom asked about you, and then it just turned into a spiral of Brock rambling about how stupid he was and that he misses you.” “I miss him too, so much. I don’t know if I could ever talk to him again, he really broke me.” You mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with the straw of your drink. 

The conversation died down, the both of you taking a minute to think about Brock and yours relationship when your guys’ song came on. Somehow the lyrics hurt this time, it was no longer happy and joyful for you to listen to it. Instead it was dreadful, waiting for the song to finish before you couldn’t take it anymore and asked if you could end the night early.

Jake gave you a nice, tight hug before the two of you had to go separate ways. “Hey, I’m always here, just shoot me a text or call me if you need someone. I love you.” Jake mumbled into the top of your head as you nodded. “Thank you, I love you too Virtanen.” You smiled at him before heading back to your apartment.

The third time

Brock walked through the door and watch greeted by his dogs, smiling and chuckling as he pet them before heading to the kitchen, which was always where you where if Brock came home after a road trip or practice around dinner time. Except for, this time you weren’t, you were sitting in your bed in your apartment crying. About how you shouldn’t have let Brock go, even though you were the one who ended things with him. 

Brock sighed, tossing his phone on the counter before looking in the fridge for something to eat. Which, there was nothing. Brock didn’t realize till now how much he depended on you, it wasn’t like he couldn’t do all of those things on his own. He just didn’t have time, he never had time to take care of himself. You were always there for him though, there to help him out so he could be focusing on hockey. 

Brock pulled up your contact in his phone and went to go text it, writing sentences over and over again after deleting them. He couldn’t bring himself to text you, he knew what he did was wrong but he also wanted you back, just as bad as you did. And you? You were doing the same thing, wishing you were in his arms, happy instead of crying, with him instead of being lonely. You were about to text Jake about everything when you saw the little text bubble next to Brocks name,  at first you thought it was a glitch so you refreshed the app, but the you went back it was still there, you sighed and took a screenshot, sending it to Jake before you could even process what was happening. “Does he miss me too?” You mumbled to yourself out loud before trying to forget about it. 

The one time you realized you were the one for each other

You don’t know how but you found yourself at the park that you and Brock used to always bring his dog to for late night walks, so many memories were made there. But now, they’re just killing you. You sat down on a bench, taking in everything before you noticed a dog right next to you, jumping on you to get your attention. It was Coolie.

“Hey.” You grinned as you pet Coolie and he licked you face over and over again. It wasn’t long before the panic settled in, that you were gonna have to face Brock and that he wasn’t definitely somewhere near. 

“I’m so sorry, Coolie come here.” Brock didn’t even notice it was you until he grabbed Coolies harness and took him off of you. “It’s okay.” You smiled at him. Brock was shocked, shocked that you were here and that you were smiling at him, you motioned for him to sit down next to you and you scooted over right against him, laying your head on his chest. 

“It’s like the first time we met.” You said quietly. “I was sitting here and Coolie ran over to me, he was just a puppy at the time.” You looked up and smiled at Brock, who was still confused at what was going on but went along with it cause he missed you, way too much. 

“Yeah,” He paused his sentence with a chuckle before finishing it. “Holy fuck I missed you, everything about you.” Brock kissed the top of your head, the same familiar feeling was there, you didn’t know how to describe it but you felt like you were home, Brock was your home. “I missed you even more.” 

“I’m sorry for what I did, I don't know what I was thinking.” You heard him mumble quietly. 

You sat up straight and cupped Brocks cheek with you hand and the both of you smiled at each other. “It’s okay Brock, just please don’t do it again.” He smiled and nodded at your words, knowing you had truly forgiven him. “I promise.” He whispered. “Promise me something else,” You said quietly. “Anything, as long as you’re back in my life.” 

“Never leave me again, ever.” Brock responded with a nod before pulling you in for a kiss, his lips were softer than you remembered. For the past month you had been fantasizing about this and it actually happened. 

“Never, it’s always going to be you.” Brock whispered.    

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 ˎˊ˗

✰ PAIRING ( terushima yuuji x fem!reader ) ✰ WORDCOUNT ( 1.9k ) ✰ GENRE ( ansgt, songfic ) ✰ WARNINGS ( um one swear word, angst, implications of de*th )

all the memories that we make will never change we'll stay drunk, we'll stay tan, let the love remain and I swear that I'll always paint you golden days ♫ panic! at the disco

✰✰ NOTE.. so uH i think this is the first angst thing i wrote that im actually happy with and i know terushima isn’t someone a lot of ppl write for so to the few ppl who see this</3 hope u guys enjoy:”)

“Ughh where is it,” Terushima grumbled to himself as he pulled open drawer after drawer. He had searched all the cabinets, all the tables, and just about every inch of his apartment but has yet to find his phone charger. 

As he closed the second to last drawer on this shelf, which held no phone charger, he pulled out his phone and saw it had 1% battery remaining. Quickly, he unlocked it and went to his contacts. Before he could make a call though, the screen turned black and he was left staring at a faint reflection of himself.

“Damn it,” he cursed under his breath. “She’s gonna get upset again.”

He clutched the now dead phone in one hand and ran the other through his hair, sighing in exhaustion. Today had been tiring enough with work and now he had this to deal with.

There was still one more drawer he hadn’t checked though. So, he lifted his hand out of his hair and pulled it wide open. 

In it sat a small box. 

He knew of its contents the moment he laid eyes on it. He also knew opening it now would only make him feel worse, not to mention, it would definitely delay his plans.

But for some reason, a longing for nostalgia or maybe the person that brought such nostalgia, his arms unconsciously moved to take the box into his hands.

Your words echoed in the back of his mind as he traced his fingers along the edges of the box.

“It’ll be like our little time capsule. For us to open when we’re all old and wrinkly…”

A deep sigh escaped his lips. 

Every rational thought that came into his head begged him not to open it, to put it back, to forget he even found it. 

Instead, his fingers moved to lift the cover and lay it down on the floor beside him.

And there you were... a polaroid of you at least. 

Your lips were curved in a sweet smile inviting him in and breaking his heart all over again. Up until now, he could barely recall what your face looked like when you were happy, truly happy. He could only remember the tears and regret you had on your face towards the end… 

But seeing you like this again, the wideness of your smile, the crinkle of your eyes… you radiated a joy and happiness he had begun to forget in you.

He stared at the picture for a good minute before turning it around to see the familiar strokes of your handwriting.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!’ and under it ‘(first pic taken with the polaroid my baby Yuuji got for me<3)’

“My baby Yuuji,” he whispered.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you,” he sang softly into your ear as he held you from behind, swaying gently in tune. 

“Happy birthday dear Y/n.. Happy birthday to you~”

You turned to kiss the blond and he pulled you even closer to him. 

“I love you babe, happy birthday...” 

The tiredness he had felt just moments ago seemed to have fluttered away when he found you again in the polaroids, and a longing burst from the depths as he put the picture down and picked up another one, his hands once again moving on their own will.

This one had the two of you standing together, backs facing the camera. It was taken at a beach when the sun was still high in the sky and the water glistened blue. But it wasn’t the scenery that appealed to him, nor was it the way the sun wrapped around you two in perfect golden light. 

It was how close you were to him. The physical distance between you two was barely existent. Your arms were wrapped around his waist and his were draped over your shoulders. 

‘Sea breeze, cute outfit, sand between my toes, and 1 Terushima Yuuji… Damn was today great.’

How he would give to be that close to you again.

“Ok 3, 2, 1…”

You clung on to him as tight as you could and he smiled, pulling you closer. 

At the sound of the camera click and the hum of the photo being printed, you let go and quickly turned around to thank the woman for taking the picture.

When you did that he felt off; as if a part of his body was just yanked away. It wasn’t an extreme feeling, nor was it painful in any way. It was more just a lingering emptiness that was put to rest a few seconds later when you were back by his side again.

He put his arm back on your shoulder and peered down at the polaroid in your hand. You were staring at the photo patiently waiting for the colors to fade in. And when it finally did, you smiled satisfactorily at it before tucking it away and flashing another smile to the man right next to you.

Terushima closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind. It’s been years, he shouldn’t be dwelling on the past like this.

And yet, there was comfort in the pain the memories brought.

When he opened his eyes, they landed on yet another photo of you. And as he has been for a good part of his life, he was drawn to you. Reaching out a hand, he picked it up and let the memories wash over him once more.

After a while, he set it down and picked up another. And another. And another. Each capturing a moment with you he would never get back. 

It’s been years since he’s had to learn to live without you. Truthfully though, he never did learn how. The sun became a little dimmer, the rain a little harder, the breeze a little less refreshing. The world lost its vibrancy when he lost you. He adapted, got used to the dullness, but he couldn’t learn to live the same anymore...

He picked up another polaroid.

This one didn’t have either of your faces on it. It just showed the two of you holding hands against a dark background.

The bottom held no words but instead an arrow pointing to the right. Terushima turned the polaroid and saw a small envelope attached to the back. Curious, he opened it up and pulled out the piece of paper snuggled inside.

‘This one’s a bit longer than any other note I’ve written for a polaroid but… I kinda just realized smth really important. He drove me out at 3AM in the morning to get food because I said I was hungry. Then we sat in his car listening to some old mixtapes he had. They were pretty crappy but it didn’t matter. I love Terushima Yuuji. I’ve said it a million times before but last night it really hit me, hard. I love him in a way I’d never be able to love anyone else. 

I want to go on more dates with him. more stupid dates, more romantic ones, more 3AM dates, more cuddle dates. And even though it might be selfish of me, I want to spend my every breathing minute with him. 

If I can’t have anything else in this then I just want these golden days of ours to last forever..’

And before he realized it, tears were rolling down his cheeks. Fuck it all. He missed you. He missed the days you had together, the nights spent in each others’ arms. He missed you so much it tore a hole in his heart and all he could see when he looked at the sunlight drifting through the window was just darkness. 

It pained him to know that everything you wanted was all he ever needed. It pained him that he hadn’t realized this until it was too late. And it pained him most that you were never coming back.

Why’d you have to leave? 

He tried so hard to stop asking this question, and for a while, he was successful. But the polaroids, your handwriting, the memories, you.. there was just so much pain in the happiness of the past. 

But you were gone. He had accepted that long ago. 

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Terushima, you in here?” a familiar voice called from outside. 

Right, he forgot about Misaki. Wiping any tears left on his face, he put all the polaroids back in the box, covered the lid, and left the room.

“DADDY!!” a little girl yelled, running at him full speed. He bent down and lifted her into his arms effortlessly.

“Oh you’ve gotten heavier. How much has Misaki been feeding you huh?” he teased.

The little girl pouted as she pointed to the floor signaling she wanted to be put down. Terushima chuckled and did so.

Walking over to a slightly annoyed-looking Misaki, he muttered an apology for not going to pick her up and a thanks for taking care of his daughter. 

“Hey wait, you look like you’ve been crying… Are you ok Teru?” she asked, eyes showing her concern.

He let out a deep sigh. 

“I uh- I found a box with some old pictures of Y/n and I just-”

She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“Look, I know you miss her and I know you know this, but don’t get too stuck in the past. Focus on what you have now,” she said looking in the direction of the young girl who had made her way over to the small pile of stuffed animals on the couch.

He rubbed his face and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, thank you Misaki.”

“Ok,” she replied with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be going then.” 

Terushima nodded again and after she said bye to his daughter, he walked her to the door.

Turning back he leaned on the wall and looked affectionately at the girl playing on his couch. She was still so young, but it’s been almost 5 years now that he’s taken care of her. 

Time seemed to fly by with her and yet it felt like so long ago he welcomed her to the world. 

He understood now the past and its memories were something to be treasured. It was not something to cling on tightly though. The golden days of the past are gone, but the glittering rays that coated the floor and walls of his living room tell him it’s a new age. 

It was an age he had to cherish well.

Deciding to do something he’s been putting off, he walked back into his room and brought out the box with all its polaroids and memories.

“Yui, come here. I want to show you something.”

She stared at him before taking one frayed teddy bear into her hands and walking over to her father. Taking his outreached hand, she looked at the box he held in his other.

Sitting at the top of the pile was a photo of a beautiful woman. The sun was shining bright in the background and the light swirled around her as if she was wrapped in a golden halo.

“Is she an angel?” Yui asked innocently, pointing to the picture.

“You got that right,” he replied with a sad smile. “She’s the most beautiful angel out there..”

He watched as the young girl picked up the photo, seemingly mesmerized.

“That angel is your mom.”

“My mom?” she echoed. “Mommy is an angel?”

He smiled and ruffled her hair, “She sure is, and you know what? She’s looking out for us from heaven, so you better be a good girl for her, okay?”

✰✰ NOTE.. pls lemme know if u guys thought this was angsty enough sdkjlsdg,,,, i dunno i can’t seem to tell whether angst is painful enough yet;-; also don’t mind the name yui dkglsd it was the first one i could think of T-T

✰✰✰ TAGLIST.. @lilikags @luna-in-luv​ @kureyama​

[mingiswow]

Missing you | Ahn Hyejin

Pairing: gender-neutral reader x Hwasa

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Words: + 1k

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there's any mistake. And you can always tell me what's wrong.

⚠ Also, I don't even know how people text in English lol so sorry if it sounds ridiculous

Request: helloooo!!! im back to request another mamamoo x reader fic if thats alright with you since i loveeee ur writing🙃 This time may it be a idol!hwasa x bestfriend!reader? Could you make the beginning angsty due to the reader moving far unexpectedly/in a short amount of time which makes hwasa angry, and they leave messily or on bad terms? ~time skip~ The reader comes back permanently unannounced and surprises hwasa, and they finally feel that they no longer want to be "just friends" and possibly kisssssss or just have a super sweet/fluffy ending???

Sorry it took me so long anon but I hope you enjoy 💖

You couldn’t sleep the whole flight, your nerves getting the best of you. It has been months since you left Seoul to fulfill your dream to study abroad.

It has been months since you last spoke to her.

“what do you mean Europe?” you knew you should have told her earlier. Her, your best friend among everyone. The woman you unfortunately loved. “You’re going to another continent for months and you decided to tell me two days prior?” you could tell Hwasa was angry but could you blame yourself? If you had told her since you got the news she would want to spend even more time with you. Be the last days with you. And that would only make your heart ache even more.

“I wanted to tell you before but…” the voice got stuck in your dry throat, you had no valid excuse except for the fact that you loved her and leaving her behind would hurt you.

“I thought we were best friends Y/N…”

“We are! Hyejin please don’t do that. I know I was wrong for not telling you earlier, but I was afraid. Please understand me” you took a step closer. She took a step back.

You could feel your heart shatter in your chest, she was angry, and she had the right to be.

“Afraid of what? Hurting me?” you nodded, not caring to hold the tears anymore. “I got news for you Y/N, you already did”.

Those were the last words she ever said to you. And to be honest, it couldn't hurt any more.

Your phone started to buzz by your side, Wheein, her childhood best friend and also your friend, was the one sending you messages.

After you left Hyejin hasn’t spoken to you at all, avoiding your messages and calls. You gave up after a while, going to her friend to get some news about her.

📲 I’m already at the airport waiting for you.

Thx for picking me up

📲 no worries babe

📲 I'll take you to my house first, ok? So you can take a shower and rest

📲 I prepared some food too

awn ur the best ❤

thank u for taking care of me

You heard one of the cabin crew women announce the landing and within less than an hour you were stepping into Seoul's lands after months.

You searched through the crowd of people at the place looking for the familiar face, which you found holding a lovely poster with the words “welcome home cheater” and Moonbyul by her side. You ran to them, hugging their bodies tight and crying.

“I can believe you’re finally here!” the youngest told you with a smile, holding your shoulders and looking at you like a mother. “You’ve changed… but for the good. You look amazing”

“You mean tired” you joked with her, you probably looked like trash after hours inside a plane.

“Just a few bags under the eyes but nothing like a nice and warm shower won’t help” the eldest smiled, helping you with your bags. “welcome back kiddo”

The three of you grabbed your stuff and headed to Wheein’s house. The ride was fun, the girls were filling you with questions and more questions about the country you were in, the people, the culture, they sounded like little kids and it helped you get your mind out of Hyejin.

“Go take a shower first, then come to the kitchen” the singer said as soon as you arrived at her place. Nodding and thanking her once again you headed to the well-known guest room where you used to crash when you went to parties together or when you got too drunk to go back to your apartment.

You let the warm water hit your head and shoulder, releasing some of the tension held there. You knew that, at some point, you would have to confront her, to talk to her, but you were too afraid she wouldn’t want to even after all these months. After all, she never answered your messages.

After drying your hair and putting on some comfortable clothes, you headed to the kitchen, distracted by your phone. “Tell me you made me s-”

“Hi” you stopped in your tracks and words when you saw her in front of you, standing in the middle of the room.

“Hi” came as a whisper, your heart beating louder than your actual words.

“I think I owe you an apology” you shook your head, denying. “No, I do. I was so childish for not understanding you and for not answering you all this time”

“I-it’s ok” you managed to get out before clearing your throat. “I was very stupid for not telling you before. I… I was afraid to tell you”

“Why?” you looked at her, your eyes always looking at the ground the whole time. “Why were you afraid to tell me you were finally fulfilling your dream to study abroad” the woman took a step closer to you. You didn’t move.

You didn’t know what to say or how to say anything without spilling your true feelings. “You know… While you were away I took some time for myself, to think about everything”

“It was good?”

“Yes. I realized a few things” you nodded, a sign for her to keep talking. She took two steps closer to you. “I realized that I got sad because I couldn’t spend your last days with you properly like you deserved. That I felt betrayed and unworthy of your trust. Did you not trust me? Wasn’t I your best friend?” Hwasa took a deep breath, getting right in front of you. So pretty. So close. “But then I realized I wasn’t your best friend. I would never be… because you don’t see me like it. And that’s ok because the most important thing I realized is that I don’t see you as mine either”.

Your mind was racing, traveling all over without knowing what to think or what to tell. What was she trying to say? It was what you thought it was?

Before you could say anything, her hands held your face in place so she could touch your lips with her soft ones. It felt like you were on cloud nine, in some kind of fantasy movie or even a dream, and if so, you didn’t want to wake up.

She broke the kiss, a smile on her lips that were touching yours seconds ago “I don’t see you as my best friend because I like you more than that. And I’m sorry I was such a bitch with you and letting you wait”

“Don’t worry. It was definitely worth it” it was your turn to kiss her, this time enjoying, even more, the touch of her skin on yours. “By the way, I like you more than a friend too”

“You owe me five bottles of soju. I told you they were in love” you heard Wheein screaming at the kitchen with Moonbyul, making you two laugh before sharing another kiss.

Being away for a while wasn’t so bad after all.

Requests are open (even tho it might take me some time to answer lol)

[vemuabhi]

The New Year Special Chapter

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 

ITS NEW YEAR ACCORDING TO MY TIME (IST)

Please take this long Chapter as a gift this new year everyone!

Pairing : Sanji X Reader

Word count : 7.4K (I know its long, sorry)

Summary : Reader, a member of Kidd pirates, when drunk meets Sanji of Straw hats and develops a crush instantly. They both drink together and thought of meeting the next day to go on a date. But Sanji forgets what ever happened between him and reader. Meanwhile Kidd and Luffy have a quarrel. What would happen next?

Warnings : Mention of alcohol, Angst, Long story, tried to make it gender neutral but it’s not so good, sorry for any mistakes.

Tagging : @yuiroha164​ @vangooh-works​ @sanjis-simp​

again sorry for tagging without permission. just ignore this if you want.

Happy New Year

We docked on an island one evening. Our captain Eustass Kidd as usual wanted to go to the bar as soon as we docked. We followed our captain into the bar and soon started to drink. My idiot best friend Heat and I were talking as our captain was picking a fight and killer was trying to stop him. The crew was having a lot of fun. Being a member of the Kidd pirates wasn’t easy but our captain, known for his ruthless nature, really cared for us, his crew very much.

It’s been a while since we started drinking and I really wanted to go out and explore. I excused myself from everyone else and opened the door and let myself out with a big alcohol bottle in my hand. The cool breeze felt so good on my flushed face. it was 10:30 and most people went home and who still remained were drunk or people of bars.

I was walking in some alleyway and I didn’t know where really I was heading. I took small sips from the bottle and headed forward. The place was almost dark except for the light from the stars and the moon, which I am thankful for, showed me the silhouette of a lean tall man at the end of the alley. The way the moonlight shone on his blond hair made him to look like a prince from where I was watching him. Being drunk I really thought he was a prince and walked towards him. As I approached him, he turned his face towards mine.

My (eye colour) orbs met his half opened sky crystal eyes. I never met such a beautiful man. His flushed pink cheeks, his smooth lips, his pale face, his straight nose, his sharp jaw, his silky blond hair covering his right side of face. This person was definitely a prince. His swirly brow was very unique. He smiled at me and I started to melt at that sight. My heart started to beat faster. I felt drawn to him instantly. As if it was Love at first sight.

“Excuse me sir, are you a prince?”, being the drunken ass, I asked without even thinking twice, but all I heard was laughing. Why was he laughing?

“I.. Im no prince milady/sir. Im just a Pirate cook.”, he said after he stopped laughing and continued, “Why? Am I that handsome, making you asked me that?”, he playfully asked, still his eyelids half closed, a pretty smile still dangling on his lips. His smile was contagious, making me smile also for some reason.

“Yes, you are. Didn’t anyone ever tell you?”, I replied honestly, his smile dropped and was replaced with a stunned expression. As he was too quiet I asked again, “What happened?”

“No.. Nothing. I was actually surprised that a beautiful person like you was thinking I was handsome, and top of that.. you even said that to me, so, I was kinda.. taken back.. thankyou so much”, he bit his lower lip and looked at the ground averting his eyes from mine.

“Heh.. so cute that you are trying to hide your blush”, I playfully teased him as he looked up again and pouted. We both giggled and I was getting sober. I thought I could talk to him in some other place. As I was about to ask him, I was interrupted with two other drunk people, crashed into the same alley where we both were standing and started to throw up. As if it was a reflex, the blond took my wrist and started to walk away from the alley. His warm hands felt so good on mine. I was sober now and could think.

“I think its better if we talk somewhere else.”, he turned to face me and smiled as he said that. ‘Oh god is he trying to kill me while he smiles like that?’, I thought to myself as we came to a nearby area with only trees and greenery and the beautiful clear sky decorated with stars. ‘Woah! So pretty’, I thought at the sight of the place.

“How did we end up in a place like this?”, he asked as I shrugged in response. He was still having the pink face and I guess he is getting sober now from all the walking. He turned back to look at me.

“Oh lord, I don’t think I can stand properly”, he said sitting on the green grass while he pulled my hand down as if he wanted me to sit beside him. ‘Damn adorable’, I thought as I sat beside him.

“Wanna share that with me?”, he politely asked me pointing at the alcohol bottle in my hand, still not letting go of my hand.

“You sure you wanna drink?”, I asked him again because it felt like he already drank a lot.

“Yeah… I usually don’t drink so much but for some reason I want to drink now.”, he says as he smirks at me and takes the bottle from my hand then he chugged half of the bottle and licked his smooth lips after... My eyes opened wide in surprise at his actions.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”, I said to him as he wiped the side of his mouth with his sleeve. ‘God he sure is hot’, I thought as he chuckled and placed the bottle down beside him.

“Its just that, I have zero luck with women and love… So if you are an imagination in my head appeared while I am being drunk, I would want you to stay a little longer. I don’t even know what I’m saying, I actually don’t even know if you are real or not. I’m wasted and I’m not able to think properly.”, he said as he laughed at the end. ‘Why did it feel like it was sad? And his words were showing how lonely he was. So beautiful yet so sad.’ I thought to myself and continued talking with him.

“That’s sad, well don’t worry, I’m sure I’m real... Or wait… what if you are my imagination!?”, I asked him with gasp as I placed my free hand on my chest, trying a dramatic effect to cheer him up. Luckily he chuckled and smiled back at me and said, “I am Sanji, I’m a Straw hat pirate and I’m the chef of our crew, so what about you”.

“I’m Y/N, a member of Kidd Pirates.”, I replied, ‘as if I could imagine such a handsome person’, I thought as I smiled at him.

“Y/N huh… such a cute name.”, he smirked at me.

“Do you tell this to everyone you meet?”, I chuckled at his words.

“…..Actually, if they talk long enough then I do.”, he let go of my hand then looked down not meeting my eyes and said, “I swoon over every girl in an attempt for making them fall in love with me. I am very desperate for love. If I wasn’t drunk, I’d swoon over you too in order to make you fall for me”, he said as he chuckled and continued, “I’m sure you must’ve been creeped out by now.”

“Oh! Well this breaks the stereotype of the pickup lines, but I do appreciate your honesty”, I replied. For some reason he somewhat has an effect on me.

“Woah.. you are the first person to say that.”, he said as he looked at me again and continued, “Ladies kinda… Hate me… But I can’t stop appreciating them whatever happens”, he smiled at me but I could see it was a sad one again. ‘How could this man not be loved by ladies? He is handsome’, I thought as I averted my eyes from him

“And… I’m not creeped out… you know.”, I blushed as slowly looked at him after I said this in order to look at his expression. He was looking at me seriously and spoke, “Please don’t be a Dream.”

I chuckled again as he was being so darn innocent. ‘So cute’, I thought as I looked at his pink cheeks and ocean eyes. He covered his face with his free hand and said, “Agh… you are the first person to call me handsome. I’m so happy”. We both giggled and I playfully asked him, “So, why are you a pirate Mr. Handsome?”

“There you go again..”, he smiled and continued, “OH! I... I want to find the All Blue that’s why I became a pirate.”, he sat up straight as he said that.

“All Blue?”, I asked him and he nodded his head and closed his eyes as if he was imagining the place then said, “All Blue is a place where we find all kinds of fishes and sea creatures from the four blues at one place. It’s very beautiful also and every chef’s dream come true.” He smiled happily as his eyes fluttered open. He noticed me staring at him and raised his curly eyebrow at me without dropping the smile.

“Ah… it’s just that… You are so passionate about it and your face lit up like a child when you were talking about All Blue. I’m sure it must be a beautiful place. I am sure a person who is so passionate about his dream would definitely find it.”, I said and he lets out a cute hum as he again take my hand in his.

“Thank you… thank you so much Y/N”, he thanked so sincerely that his eyes were showing appreciation towards me. We talked about a lot of things and it was so fun. It felt good and nice. The calm atmosphere and beautiful sky made it even more amazing. We both started sharing the remaining alcohol as we slowly started walking hands linked. Enjoying each other’s company was more important to us than to think where we were headed to.

As if it was a magical moment, we both started to make out in the middle of the silent street under the shiny stars. I don’t know how I could kiss a complete stranger but… it just felt so right. As if… we were meant to be. I know it sounds cheesy and cliché, but… it felt wonderful. He tasted like alcohol and somewhere I could also taste nicotine. I’m not complaining. It was amazing. We broke the kiss and stared into each other’s eyes for some time then chuckled. We both leaned our foreheads together and stayed for a while like that before we started walking hand in hand again. Being so happy we didn’t notice the person who saw us making out. Sanji’s eyes were trying hard to stay open. His steps became wobbly than compared to before. I could see the shore before us.

There was one question in my mind that if I ask him on a date when we are not this drunk, would he be okay? And worse…. would he even remember me? As Sanji took the last sip of the bottle, I was about to ask him but then… I was cut off by another voice.

“OYE SHIT COOK!”, shouted a man who was coming in our direction. He was sweating a lot and looked like he needed help. He came towards us and stood before Sanji. He had one eye, green hair and wore green robes. He was pretty muscular. His brows were furrowed and looked like he was very angry.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FILTH? YOU LOST AGAIN?”, asked Sanji as they both glared at each other. The Green haired man’s gaze now fell on me. he looked at our linked hands and his eye widened as if he was shocked.

“Hey you! Who the hell are you?”, he asked me. his voice was deep and raspy. Making me shiver.

“I.. I am-”, I was cut off in mid-sentence by Sanji.

“DON’T BE SO RUDE YOU DIM WIT. The names Y/N, be respectful”, he answered.

“Ok.. but lets go. Luffy is asking for food.”, the green haired man said.

“No… not now. He needs to wait till breakfast.”, Sanji said and the man mumbled something and said, “ vice CAPTAIN ORDERS!. You need to come back.” In a serious tone. I felt like he had to go. I actually wanted to stay with him more but he had to go now… I left his hand and he looked at me with sadness. I smiled and said, “Go. We will go on a date tomorrow, only if you liked my company today. Okay?”, I asked him and all he did was smile as his eyes completely shut and he fell on me. I caught him and balanced him on myself. What the! He is sleeping now. But why whatever he does makes me think he is cute?

The green cussed as he had to take him back, but after I said that the shore is just a few meters away from here and pointed it straight ahead of us he flinched and gritted his teeth.

As he took one hand of sanji’s and placed it over his own shoulder and started walking with me having one hand of Sanji over my shoulder. We walked to shore and we could see a ship with some lion’s head which was Sanji’s and I handed him to the grumpy man and was about to go to my ship which was a bit away from this place, but the green haired man stopped me in my tracks, “Don’t you dare take advantage of him and hurt him.”, and he took Sanji to the ship. I was completely shocked at the words of the man. I snapped and yelled, “I WONT BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM”. I shouted as the man took Sanji back to the ship. He turned back and grinned at me and continued to take him into the ship, not even saying another word.

‘Seems like the Ero cook is going on a date huh’, he thought as he smirked, “Even though I had to witness that disgusting moment by accident’, he was now cringed at this own thought.

I stomped to my ship furious at the words that man said. Then I saw Heat and killer completely pissed at me.

“Oh! Look who’s back! After all the training and fight in the bar, this is what I needed today”, Sarcasm was on point for heat now.

“hahahe… i.. I’m back”, I said nervously to the both men who were also my best friends on this ship.

“You disappeared when we were fighting and you appear now. Do you even know how worried we were? It’s 2:45 am now for your information”, Killer said making me feel guilt. So… I was with Sanji for like… roughly 4 to 5 hours? Maybe? ‘Well, they weren’t wrong. If they disappear without telling me a word, I’d be worried about them’, I thought as I sighed and looked at them apologetically and said, “Sorry for worrying you guys.”

They both looked at each other and again at me. Killer sighed as Heat grunted. “Its fine. Don’t worry us like that again”, Heat said scratching the back of his neck as he dropped his frown.

“What were you doing? Where did you go?”, asked Killer not even thinking of letting go of it.

“Quick! Think of a lie and escape this”, said heat. ‘Welp. So there is someone who is still not okay with my apology’, I thought as I said, “I… thought of exploring the place and…”, I stopped in mid-sentence thinking about how I met him.

“And….”, Heat indicated me to go on.

I sighed and continued, “I met this guy and we hung out till now”, I pressed my lips as I ended my explanation.

There was dead silence which was really awkward. “Well, good talk”, I said and I started to leave but was stopped by Heat.

“Wait… you met a random guy, a total stranger, I assume he was also drunk and let me add this in, you were really drunk when it happened right!?”, he asked

“Yes.”, I answered

“Was there any chance that you were hallucinating? Because you are desperate for love so I can understand if you were hallucinating”, said killer. As I was about to protest, of course Heat had to step in and make me even more pissed.

Heat placed his hands on my shoulders and said, “You know we can totally understand if you say that you drank way too much and fell asleep under a tree till now. We won’t judge. Its totally fine if you tell the truth. You don’t have to tell fiction”, heat ended as he patted my head and let go of my shoulder. These guys… welp… they are my best friends. I know they don’t mean any ill and these type of comments were really fine between us. Especially Heat, when someone else other than the grumpy captain of course, even tried to insult me, he’d burn them. Like literally spit fire. He says he can only be the one person who can insult me. I don’t know if it’s a compliment or an insult.

“You know what, I give up. When I tell the truth you won’t believe. I hate you both”, I grunted

“Oh god! So it was true!”, Killer exclaimed as heat gasped.

“Yes you idiots! It’s true”, I said as they both laughed.

“Oh god… so... Do you like him or what? I didn’t think you were the type to go and hit on people”, Heat asked

“Welp… I guess… I… I have a crush on him. He was really fun to talk, we shared alcohol and he seemed like a gentle man. He never let go of my hand.”, I blushed at the last words as I placed my hands on my face.

Heat, that jerk murmured gross as Killer chuckled at my actions and asked, “So will you guys meet again or did you take Den-Den mushi numbers?”

“I actually told him to meet me tomorrow… i guess today”, I said as Killer awed in response but Heat being Heat said, “Good talk, now Kill me please”, in his way he is happy. Why is he even my best friend?

“Go and sleep for now. You need rest”, killer being the sweet heart said it but… Heat had to ruin that it by saying, “Yeah.. you must be very tired hanging out and drinking with a guy but we are totally okay after taking care of the crew, the fights of the captain, the repairs and damages, losing most of my sleep and also searching for certain someone. I’m totally fine.” Heat getting a friendly punch in the arm from me, with that I went to my room and slept.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

“Oye! Ero Cook!”, called Zoro as he entered the kitchen, noticing that Sanji was behaving like a usual day. It was as if he…… didn’t remember anything.

“What do you want Marimo?”, sanji replied as he was stirring the soup.

“Don’t you… have to get going?”, Zoro asked looking at the blond as he continued cooking.

Sanji turned to look at Zoro and said, “I will go soon. Taste this place’s cuisine”

“No.. No, that’s not what I was asking. I mean… you know… your plan for today. You need to go right?”, Zoro asked Sanji as the blond turned to cooking again.

“Ah! As I already bought food, my plan is to help Nami san and Robin chan to carry their bags as they both shop.”, Sanji grinned as he imagined both the girls in new clothes giving zoro chills then the blond turned to Zoro as he had a disgusted expression and said, “Why do you want to know about my plans? You creep!”.

“NO YOU IDIOT! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR PLANS! DON’T CALL ME CREEPY YOU PERVERT”, shouted the swords man

“THEN WHY THE HELL WERE YOU ASKING ABOUT MY PLANS YOU JERK”, this time the cook shouted expecting a fight from Zoro, but to his surprise, the swords man neither shouted nor replied, instead he grunted and tapped his foot against the floor.

The curious cook asked, “Seriously, what do you want to say?”

Hearing this Zoro turned to Sanji and questioned, “Do you remember how drunk you got last night?”

This made the chef to think about yesterday. He tried a lot but it was all blurry and he couldn’t remember a single thing. He looked at Zoro but didn’t reply.

“Do you not remember anything?”, Zoro’s question was answered as Sanji gestured no. the cook was getting worried what had happened because he didn’t remember anything.

‘Agh! Why do I even care?’, the swords man thought as he cursed under his breath and continued, “Can you tell me how much you remembered?”. Sanji took a deep breath and narrated what he could remembered, from the time the crew went to the bar and drank as Luffy ate, then how Sanji started to feel like drinking more and more and that was it. Hearing this Zoro sighed. The last Zoro saw Sanji was he going out of the bar for fresh air. Sanji seemed like he was sober but now he knew he wasn’t.

“Don’t beat around the bush. Tell me what happened?”, Sanji turned off the stove and came towards Zoro.

Zoro looked into Sanji’s eyes and sighed as he answered, “You got drunk and met a person and I am pretty sure you had a great time because they asked to meet you today”

Hearing this Sanji’s eyes widened and he couldn’t believe what Zoro said.

“Look, I don’t have time for your lies and jokes”, Sanji said as he glared at the swords man

“I don’t have any reason to lie to you. If I wanted to I wouldn’t have told you and let you miss your little date”, Zoro sternly stated making Sanji to think this through. ‘Why couldn’t he remember? Was that true? For the first time in his life a person showed him affection and he didn’t even remember? And how did this marimo know about this? Who was that person? What was their name?’, all thoughts flodded Sanji’s mind making him feel guilty and terrible.

“I’m sorry for you but I too don’t know where you agreed to meet”, Zoro said as he placed his hand on the cook’s shoulder and continued, “From what I remember the name was Y/N and seemed pretty interested in you because they even shouted at me that they like you.”, after telling this Zoro left Sanji in the kitchen and went to train.

Sanji looked at Zoro and thought about the name, ‘Y/N’… no matter how much he tried he couldn’t figure out who the person was. Sanji knew Zoro wouldn’t joke about things like this. ‘Where was he supposed to meet Y/N? Who was Y/N?’, guilt was killing Sanji inside as he thought about the mystery person. He completed making the soup but still he didn’t remember Y/N.

Then he heard a loud shouting from outside. He headed out and saw that Luffy was shouting at a guy with a metallic arm and red hair. He had some members behind him as they were looking sketchy.

“Not again Luffy”, Sanji said to himself as he went near Luffy to see what the problem was.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

After I woke up, I put on my best clothes and got ready so that I could meet Sanji. I didn’t tell him where I’d meet him so I just thought of going towards his ship. Kidd wanted to explore the island today because he just drank yesterday and picked some fights.

There weren’t many people on the deck so I assumed they took off with Kidd. I got down the ship and started to walk towards Sanji’s ship. I was very nervous and my heart was beating fast. I took deep breaths whenever I felt like I was about to faint. I heard some noises and shouting as I got close to the place. Curious to see what was happening I increased my pace and saw that my crew was there… near Sanji’s ship. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my captain shouting at the straw hat man which I was sure of was the Captain of Straw Hat Pirates as I made myself go to the front line.

My heart started to beat even faster when I saw Sanji and the rest of the straw hats looked like they were ready to take on if things got out of control. Heat, Wire and rest of us were also looking like they were ready for combat. ‘No… no… no…’, I thought to myself as I imagined how terrorising the battle would be if they fought.

I slowly took a step forward and started to go towards Sanji but I had to go past my captain if I want to meet him. I’m sure Kidd wouldn’t be focused on me because he is busy, so this was my chance. My crew were definitely shocked... But I had to… I had to talk to sanji one last time if this small fight breaks out into a war. I slowly walked and I passed my captain but shockingly he was now focused on me. He stopped shouting at Straw hat captain and stared at me with the other captain.

“EEEEKKKK Why is she/he coming towards us? LUFFY DO SOMETHING!”, shrieked a person with a long nose.

“But I don’t get any evil intent”, said Straw hat Luffy.

“Tsk, so you were a member of Kidd Pirates?”, said the green head swords man.

“OYE! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING”, shouted my captain as I stood before the blond man. I curled my fists into a ball and looked at him sternly. I knew if it was now or never. So I took deep breath and asked him, “Will you go on a date with me Sanji?”

My crew and the straw hat Crew Gasped at my words. I didn’t shout but as everyone was quiet they could hear it.

Sanji’s eyes wide opened as if he heard it for the first time and suddenly the green haired person said, “Oye cook! That’s Y/N!! I told you, you had a date today”.

“EHEEEEE!!! SANJI HAS A DATE!!!! I CANT BELIEVE THIS! IS THIS A JOKE?! EHEEEEEE”, Screamed the long nose guy, a big huge robot type guy and what I suppose was an animal?! What was this crew? There is even a freaking skeleton. Sanji told about his crew but I don’t remember their names correctly. Well… our crew also is weird. We have a masked guy whos face no one saw except for Kidd I believe and… Heat…. Yeah… I got used to them so I don’t find it weird anymore. But… We have Heat. This crew is weird as ours. That guy Heat spits fire. (Totally not insulting my best friend in my head)

“WHAT THE HELL? Y/N! THEY ARE OUR RIVALS FOR F*** SAKE. COME BACK!,” My captain shouted at me.

“CAPTAIN I JUST WANT TO GO ON A DATE! PLEASE I BEG YOU”, of course I’d never betray my captain nor go against his word. So, all I have got is let Killer help me and convince Kidd.

“EHEEE SO YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH! STILL AM NOT ABLE TO BELIEVE YOU GOT YOURSELF A DATE Y/N!”, totally not my best friend Heat insulting me in public. Let me just ignore him for now.

“What is a date? It seems fun! Can I also join”, this made everyone go silent as the straw hat captain laughed as he said it. Was he joking or plain innocent?

“OYE MUGIWARA! THIS IS NOT THE END! LETS SEE WHO WINS!”, grunted my captain

“OKAY! LETS START!”, Said the straw hat captain with full enthusiasm in his eyes.

“Oh No! PLEASE DON’T FIGHT, WE SHOULD NOT MAKE THIS A WAR”, I shouted this time only to be stared back with confusion and some face palmed at my actions. I looked at Heat who was covering his mouth holding his laugh in looking at me. ‘The hell? Why is that idiot laughing and why is Killer looking at me with a sorry aura’, since I can’t look at his face at least I can tell what he is feeling.

“Actually, they are not… fighting exactly”, this time it was the husky deep voice which I wanted to hear the most and heard now for the first time after a while. I turned back to look at Sanji as he said that. ‘What have I done?’ and next thing I know was the two captains in a restaurant, stuffing themselves up with food.

So… this was the fight that they had in mind. Heat was sitting beside me as I hung my face down as Heat tried to be nice for once and patted my head.

“Why are you being nice? Its not your style.”, I said not looking at heat as he gasped.

“What do you mean? I’m always nice”, heat questioned making me look up at him and laugh but the thing i did before made me hung my head down again.

“I am so stupid”, I said

“No... You just have bad luck when you think”, Heat said making me hit his shoulder because he just agreed in sarcasm. But I’d be lying if I said this didn’t feel normal between us.

“I thought the captains would fight a war and I’d never get a chance to ask Sanji out but… look at my position. I didn’t even get a reply from Sanji”, I complained to Heat.

But I as I still had my head down I didn’t notice the blue eyes which were watching me from the other side of restaurant.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

In the meantime, Sanji was talking to Robin as he stared at Y/N

“You should go and talk if you want to you know, looking like that at Y/N won’t do anything.”, Said the Raven beauty who noticed the upset look of Sanji.

“…But Robin chan, it’s just that… I don’t remember even a thing about Y/N”, admitted Sanji to Robin as he continued, “Still I don’t know why I feel like my heart is being crushed when I look at Y/N…. sitting with that weird blue hair guy. He never left even for a second.”

“You can know about Y/N again if you talk. Just go a date”, said the smart archaeologist.

Sanji grunted as he looked how Heat patted Y/N’s head and how Y/N looked at him and laughed.

The blond lit another cigarette and said, “I don’t know why I’m this nervous. I’ve never felt this nervous before when I tried to approach someone. I think its because… it’s the first person who openly showed affection to me, without even a small bit of hesitation.”, sanji paused in between as he looked at how Y/N playfully punched Heat’s shoulder. Sanji continued, “Tsk.. look at them. I don’t like it one bit.”

“So… basically you are jealous. Why not just say that you’d go on a date? I’m sure Y/N would be happy and don’t worry, we will take care of the situation with Luffy.”, said Robin as she continued to sip her coffee.

“Yeah… I guess you are right Robin chan. You know what… I’ll go and talk.”, declared Sanji as he got up from his seat. Robin did her classic giggle as she saw Sanji going towards his to be date.

‘Well I guess everyone is destined to meet someone’, thought Robin as Sanji made his way to Y/N’s table nervously.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

“Excuse me Y/N, can I talk to you for a moment”, said someone making me look up at them. ‘Oh god! Its Sanji!’, I exclaimed inside my head. Heat got up from his seat and made his way to where Killer was sitting. ‘What! Hea..Heat just went away?! But im scared’, I thought as I looked at the back of Heat as he left. I slowly looked at Sanji and saw he was nervous too but was still standing in his spot. ‘Why was he?! Oh god! Is he waiting for my permission?!’, My thoughts were exploding in my head as I tried to remained calm on the outside. Trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Please sit”, I gesture him to sit and he obliged. We didn’t talk for a good minute or two, ‘Was he not ready? Was I too forward? Is he trying to reject’, with all these thoughts in mind I spoke first breaking the silence.

“So… Sanji was that too forward of me to ask you like that in public? I apologise if-”

“NO Don’t”, My sentence was cut off in between by Sanji. He looked at me with what I can assume is guilt. And I understood why he was behaving like that.

“Oh… I understand. Its.. its ok if you want to reject me I-“

“Not that either”, he said as he took a deep breath and confessed, “Y/N-san, I must tell you this. I… I don’t remember what happened yesterday”, this made my eyes widen as I looked at him. ‘Then what about our time together? What about the deep thoughts we shared? What about… the kiss? Was it all gone?’, my heart sank

“I am sorry. But trust me, I tried… I really tried hard remembering you but… I couldn’t remember you. You can hate me if you want but-“

“Stop!”, this was my time to stop him in mid-sentence as I continued, “It’s ok. You can stop apologising now. It’s not your fault. We were just too drunk at that moment. I… am sorry for asking you out even though I am a stranger. You must’ve felt forced. You don’t have to feel guilty or sad. Its fine. You don’t have to go out with me. its ok. I can understand Sanji.”, I concluded my sentence with it as I got up to leave, I felt a hand grab my wrist making me turn back to look at.

“Please, wait. I’m sorry but, do you think, we can start over maybe? Will you go out with me Y/N? please”, he asked me with a pleading smile. Could I say no to those eyes and smile? No way.

“I’d… I’d like that. Okay lets go on a date.”, I  answered as I smiled at him. He felt relieved and stood up and said, “Then would you like to get out of here? I know it’s a good restaurant but… with all those people staring at us would be awkward”

I looked around to see except for the straw hat captain and our captain, everyone were looking at us with huge grins.

“Yes please”, I say to Sanji as we both started to leave the place quickly but I had a sad feeling that my captain wouldn’t like it. I looked at him once.

“Y/N”, said Kidd stoping me from my tracks.

“Have fun”, did my captain just indirectly gave me permission?!

“Thankyou Captain”, I thanked my Red hair captain as he continued eating.

“Sanji”, this time it was Straw hat Luffy. ‘Was he also going to give permission for us?’, I was getting my hopes up.

Then he spoke, “Dinner should be meat”, making everyone sweat drop.

“Oh… Ok”, Sanji replied as he offered his hand to mine which I accepted and we exited the restaurant.

We both were a blushing mess as we walked around the place. He told me he’d swoon over ever lady he saw but he wasn’t doing that now… so I decided to ask, “Sanji, yesterday you told me you swooned around all the women but… why aren’t you doing that now?”

“What! I told you about that?”, he exclaimed as I giggled

“Yeah. You told me most of the things about yourself. Like what type of cigarettes you like, what genre you prefer for stories, what you did while you grew up at baratie and how you wait for your letters of them every time even if you never ever told anyone about it and that’s it”, I tell him as I smiled at him.

“I am so embarrassed.”, he closed his eyes and let his head down.

“What?! Only for this you are embarrassed? I didn’t even get to all the ways you tried to make Nami and Robin chan fall in love with you”, I teased him more as I continued, “Nami swan~ Robin chwan~”

He sighed and chuckled as he said, “Oh god! You almost know everything about me and I.. I know nothing about you.”, he said sadly as he again looked at me and pouted.

“Awww, you are so cute when you pout”, I said it without thinking even once. This time we both are not drunk and I said it to his face. ‘Oh how much you are right about me Heat’, I thought as I heard the Heat in my head say, ‘Told you so’… I slowly looked at sanji again and saw what a blushing mess he was. Even he had some blood coming out from his nose.

“Are you okay? I just complimented you, nothing more”, I said as I wiped out the blood from his nose with my hanky.

“I’m sorry. Its normal for this to happen to me. so don’t worry.”, he chuckled

We both went into a small café and started to talk. Mostly about me if I’m specific. ‘All embarrassing moments are okay as well as cute childhood incidents. But somethings are better unsaid’, I thought as I remembered how he hated his three brothers who bullied him.

As we exited the café with our hands linked together. ‘PDA is his speciality I guess’, I thought because how much I liked it. We hungout in the park, the nearby small zoo, shopping places even though we bought only some things and he insisted carrying the shopping bags. Instead making me have an ice-cream in my hand. He made sure one of his hand was always free because he wanted to hold my hand, which was adorable. It was evening by now and we were heading back to the shore.

“Y/N-san, can I ask you a question if you don’t mind”, Sanji questioned politely

“You don’t have to be so polite. Just ask. What is it?”, I said as I gave a gentle squeeze to his hand with mine. He blushed again and asked, “Why… Why did you go on a date with a person like me? I completely embarrassed myself in front of you, gave you a bad first impression with being so much drunk and on top of that I didn’t even remember you”, he asked as he looked at me.

“You think too low of yourself considering how handsome you are Sanji”, I said as I smiled at him. I made him to stop in his tracks and turned him towards me so he could see me clearly.

“I went out with you because I felt comfortable around you. I liked how sincere you would be if you ever fell in love. I liked how devoted you are to your friends, and the way you respect ladies. I like how you are trying to find love. But more than anything, I love how passionate you are about your dream of finding All Blue and with that deep passion, I know you’ll definitely find All Blue”, as if there was a snap Sanji pulled me towards him into the alleyway beside us.

Sanji closed the gap between my back and the wall as he leaned down. Knowing he was going to kiss me I closed my eyes. But… he didn’t kiss me. instead I heard a question, “Is it… is it ok if I kiss you?”, I opened my eyes and saw he was desperately holding himself back as he bit his bottom lip. Blood already started dripping from his nose. I chuckled as I wiped the blood again and said, “Yes”, and that what all he wanted to hear before his hungry lips met mine. I could feel the burning passion in the kiss. It was more intense because we both are totally aware of whats happening. It was so good and my knees were about to give away. The nicotine and caffeine taste was oddly refreshing and I loved it. Too bad it had to stop because we both needed air.

Sanji’s forehead was pressed against mine as we both looked into each other’s eyes. We both smiled as I again wiped the blood from Sanji’s nose, again… and again… no.. we now weren’t kissing. I was just wiping his nose.

“Please don’t make it more serious like on the mermaid island.”, I said to him as I worried.

“So you know that too”, he sighed and continued, “Please don’t hate me”, I chuckled at his words and continued to go towards the shore again.

“Woah… I did expect that you’d request permission for every single thing you do, I mean you didn’t do like this when you were drunk”, I said as I chuckled.

“We… We Kissed?!”, of course he didn’t knew it.

“Yeah and you were still a gentle man but, you didn’t ask permission like this when you were drunk”, I admitted as we both blushed.

“How the hell could I forget it?”, he huffed

“It’s fine. Just don’t forget this”, I chuckled

“Never ever. I promise”, he smiled again

After a while we reached the port. We turned to look at each other, reluctant to go separate ways.

“So… this is it.”, I said to him as I smiled sadly, not wanting to let go of his hand.

“I… I think so”, He said as he returned my smile to me.

“You have my Den-Den mushi number and I have yours. So can I expect some call dates… Only if you would like to.”, I asked Sanji as he bit his bottom lip in an attempt to not cry.

“Thanks. I… I’d like that”, he managed to say before he hugged me tight. Well, we won’t be able to meet for god knows how long. So I also hugged him tight and inhaled his scent, so I’d remember. His exotic perfume, lovely shampoo and of course, nicotine smell, which now would make me remember him more whenever I smell this kind.

“Like I already said, don’t come to my ship to drop me. I look bad if I cry”, I said trying not to cry and I heard, “No you would never look bad, but I don’t want to cry in front of you either.”

“If fate allows lets meet again”, I said and he hummed in return.

We broke the hug not wanting to but had to and kissed again and went the opposite ways, I turned around to look at him while he stayed still looking at me, until I was out of his sight. This action of his made me miss him even more.

I went to my room and ugly cried. I didn’t know why a guy, whom I met yesterday had this much effect on me. if it was a simple crush im sure without having any contact, I’d forget him. but I don’t want to… I want to remember him. I want to meet him again.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Sanji was hurt to see Y/N leave. He was now fixated. No one till now understood him and liked him even when knew all his flaws. He still complimented Robin chan and Nami as he got on the ship. Made amazing dinner and fed the crew as they left the island. Tried to remain as normal and happy as possible. Even boasted about how amazing the date was. But for the first time he asked to take Zoro’s shift to be as the lookout for night. As he was then alone and knew everyone was sleeping, he let out his feelings in the form of tears. He didn’t want it to end.

Sanji was very grateful to Y/N because of the idea of calls. He couldn’t bring himself asking that question thinking of all his insecurities. He smiled at all the moments of the date and promised himself to never forget Y/N again and would wait for them to meet again. As he was wiping his tears he heard his Den-Den mushi ring. He picked it up and heard, “Hey! I know its way too soon and also late but if you aren’t sleeping… wanna talk?”, he heard Y/N chuckle. He didn’t expect a call now. He thought of calling Y/N but was afraid that he would disturb.

“Yeah! Actually, I would love to talk”, he said as he sniffed and grinned.

THE END

Every one happy new year!

[retromotherfuckers]

Six Years (Part 3)

Pairing:

Past/Eventual Bellamy Blake x Fem!Kane!Reader, Platonic!Octavia Blake

Summary:

Octavia knew who she was now, but you couldn’t figure out what the hell you’d become.

Warning: 

so much mf angst, themes of addiction and depression, self-destructive behavior and a tiny bit of comfort in there

Word Count:

2k (i got a little ~carried away~ lol)

A/N:

IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. i wasn’t happy with the og thing i had down so i literally just rewrote the whole thing in a few hours and it’s sm better than it would’ve been. me holding off posting this did wonders and i’m more confident in it too even tho i kinda think i suck at writing but also kinda don’t idk my self esteem varies wildly

Merry Christmas Eve Eve to those who celebrate ❤️

the gif (and all the other ones) are not mine and i take no credit for them

if you want to be tagged in any of my works, send me a message or an ask and i’ll add you :)

@shipshipshipau

The girl with aqua eyes - although now they were more of a spotted gray - had only seen one moment of weakness from you. It would be the last time Octavia had seen you, and you, her. 

“We’re surviving!” She had started shouting, as if she believed that set in a lower tone, her words would be construed as lies. “The human race is surviving! That’s what matters!”

“He wouldn’t be okay with this, and you know it!” Your voice broke involuntarily as it rose to match hers. You shook your head as you tried to desperately stop the ache in your chest as you brought her - probably dead - brother up. Tears clung to your eyelashes, waiting for you to blink so they had permission to fall. Your throat had been closed for a while now, and the rest was merely a weak cry. “If this is the price that we have to pay...maybe we shouldn’t be.”

You’d never know if it was the crack in your demeanor or your choice of words, but either way, her eyes softened when you spoke.

“Look at me.” You did as told and she gripped the back of your neck in one hand, pulling your forehead so close it almost came into contact with hers.

The air changed as Octavia came alive under the monster she wore for armor. Her mask coming off allowed you to let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. You would begin to regret not smashing the helmet to bits while it was off and vulnerable.

“You have to stop listening to them,” She said. “It’ll tear you apart. It’s better they get to live to hate us than die slowly and love us-”

“They don’t deserve this either, O-”

“We bare it, so they don’t have to. You’re the one that told me that. You can’t back out on me, now. I can’t do this without you.”

For so long you were okay with her needing you to do the dirty work. Besides the first time - when you did it together - she’d give the sentence and you’d see it through. Every single time, it felt like it was killing you more than them, but that didn’t matter, did it? If you weren’t going to do it, who would?

It was the last thing Octavia had asked of you and you had no intention of letting her down.

Bellamy didn’t know what he would see when they finally dropped him down into the bunker, but it definitely wasn’t that. Surrounded by more death than he was prepared for, he couldn’t help himself to not move his gaze around the arena. The fences between him and the living reminded him of the cages the Mountain Men held him in. The walls were stained deep with crimson, leaving the dull concrete behind it unrecognizable. He looked to the blonde at his side, and they asked each other the same silent question:

What the hell happened down here?

His whiskey shaded orbs kept moving, albeit reluctantly. They stopped on Marcus Kane, who looked so much older than last time. His hair and beard were inches longer and grayer than the natural brown he used to have. He was so pale, it was unnerving - almost as if he was close to death. They connected eyes briefly and that’s when the younger saw the deadly weapon held to his neck by the hands of-

No.

Your back was facing him, but it didn’t matter how long it had been, he’d never miss you. The locks that adorned your head were longer too, almost to your waist. The natural shade was faded though, like you had aged twenty years instead of six. He watched your shoulders heave and your hands start to shake as Kane talked to you.

He couldn’t pull his eyes from the impure red that dyed your skin and clothes.

While you were distracted, he chose to act, protecting Marcus from his own flesh and blood. He didn’t miss the gears in your head turning as your gaze landed on him. He saw your eyes sink into a trance of recognition and a deep sort of longing overtook your senses. The melancholic need you had tried to numb for half a decade came back in full force and held no mercy.

You remembered how he always smelled of the forest after the sky wept. You remembered how sure but gentle his touch was on your skin. You remembered how his remarkably soft lips would feel when they pushed against yours as they begged for more at every turn. You remembered how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, listening to his heart thump as he assured you everything would be alright, even if he didn’t think it would be.

Was that gone forever, now, too?

Bellamy noticed something else, though; something he didn’t recognize. Something he’d never seen before.

Something that scared him.

It had been hours since and neither of you had bothered to find the other. Getting everyone out was a great distraction for him. Talking to his little sister, whose eyes seemed to hold the same thing yours did, was another.  She had explained to him and Clarke that Wonkru had deemed her Bloodreina and you, Ripa. So, no, nothing as special as death from above or the red queen or the commander of death, but death, nonetheless.

People have done well not to forget that.

When Clarke told him you still hadn’t come out and no one had seen you, however, he didn’t have a choice anymore.

The halls were those of nightmares, spirits lurking around every corner and it was cold and empty. He knew the lights were kept low to save power but it felt almost purposeful, like they were meant to scare you. To tell you not to act out or some kind of monster would jump from the shadows and make you pay.

But he didn’t know if it was you or his sister.

A chill slithered up his spine.

If someone told him this wasn’t real, he’d do anything he could to believe them. He wished that he was seconds away from being shaken awake by Raven or Monty, and they would tell him it was just another nightmare. He wished he was still on the Ring, praying ignorantly to anyone that would listen that his family on earth were still okay. 

Breaking him from his thoughts, a yellow lamplight caught his attention. At the end of the windowless corridor, it shone out of a slightly ajar door. Using every ounce of strength he possessed to not walk away, he pushed it open. It cried at the motion, diminishing any and all remnants of silence that swallowed the floor.

His eyes found you catching yourself from falling caused by a failed attempt at standing. A half empty bottle of whatever works in one hand, the other one holding you up against the bed frame. The high-pitched creak pulled your attention to the front of the room with a furrowed brow and he allowed himself to take in your appearance.

A wrinkled, cotton shirt sat on your chest and it was a different one than before; faded white and thin, yet cleaner than the other one which was colored with blood. Your hair was damp - the result of taking a shower - but lazily tied back in a half-assed effort to get it out of your face.

You stared at each other for a minute. A million things were hitting your slow-moving thoughts at once, too much for you to even try to comprehend. He finally took one step towards you, parting his lips to say something but no sound came out. He was stumped, hundreds of words flooded his mind but not a single one sounded good enough.

Nothing he could say would make what happened in the arena okay.

It was unbearably painful. There he was, finally right in front of you, and you had no idea what to talk about. No idea what to start with, end with, bring up, discuss, laugh about, cry about, scream about. Nothing was good enough to say to the man that kept you alive for such a long time, such a long time ago. 

Too long ago.

You inevitably broke the silence, though your words came out cracked and in a slur. A defensive and humorless scoff left your lips, an effort to cover up the discomfort. Or it was because you were too drunk to shut yourself up. “You gonna say somethin’?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

You didn’t know why, but you hoped he’d sound different. It was childish and irrational, but you hoped that you could say you both changed too much and he would have nothing to hold against you.

Because no matter how far away it seemed, sometimes you could still remember what it felt like to be that innocent seventeen-year-old that hadn’t lived yet; what it felt like to be that girl who still couldn’t stand her father. To be that girl who sprained her ankle within ten minutes of being on earth for the first time. To be that girl who hadn’t made a friend aside from Clarke and Wells in her whole life. That girl who had just kissed a boy for the first time.

The girl who was loved and not lost yet.

“Well, that makes two of us.”

Where the hell did she go?

That made the room spin, and you had to blink a few times to make it stop, taking a seat on the thin mattress. You took a drink, making the liquid slosh from the base to the neck of the bottle and back again. When it settled, you rested your head between your shoulders as you heard him say your name. It bounced off the walls in the room, hitting each one again, and again, and again like it was a bullet waiting to find its target. You had wanted the word to fall from his lips for so long that you’d forgotten what it sounded like. You had forgotten what he sounded like, and you fucking hated yourself for it.

Then you realized he said, “Ripa,” and those four deadly little letters crushed your throat and stole the air from your lungs.

That name hadn’t felt right from the start, but it was what you had been simultaneously promoted to and reduced by. The only person who refused to call you that over the years, was your father. For two thousand days, he made sure to steer clear of it.

That’s not who you are and I know it, even if you don’t.

A sudden and hauntingly raw sob escaped, and you knew his eyes were on you in an instant.

“Don’t call me that,” You begged, meeting his gaze for the first time since he entered. Breath picking up, you were practically terror-stricken at the idea that all you were to him now was a murderer. You vigorously tried to shake the thought away, squeezing your eyes shut as everything that kept you numb seemed to vanish into thin air. “Y-You can’t-Not you too. Please, not you.”

Bellamy’s hand brushed your cheek and tears rained freely. You immediately leaned into the familiar and delicate warmth and you really fucking hoped this wasn’t your mind playing a trick on you.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” When he spoke this time, his words sounded choked too. His other hand cradled the back of your head as he pulled you into his chest and just...held you. “It’s okay.”

It was like you were standing at the edge of a building, teetering the edge before accidentally falling. Only, before you could plummet to your death, someone caught your hand, and it occurred to you that you really wanted them to pull you back up.

“Please don’t leave me again.”

Your voice was just so, so weak. Beaten down and broken.

“Never.” He said it with so much confidence and finality, you almost had to convince yourself it was real and not a dream. “I promise.”

[bts-bay-bee]

heartless

Genre: angst, fluff?

Word Count: 3056 (this is much longer than it’s supposed to be)

Warning: alcohol, puking, terrible writing, unedited work

A/N: this is requested by my sweet bb @tangledsparkles​  🥺 it’s loosely inspired by The Weeknd’s ‘Heartless’. also, im never gonna forgive you for letting me watch that music video when you know im scared of frogs, eye-

(I don’t own this picture! Credit to the respective owner)

You just came back in my life

You never gave up on me

I'll never know what you see

I don't do well when alone

You hear it clear in my tone

 “Jimin said you’d be here, so I came.” His voice slurred into your ear as you pressed your phone against your ear. “But why aren’t you? Why didn’t you come? Are you avoiding me, Y/N?”

 That voicemail was one of five. As you listened to each voicemail, he got progressively more drunk, his words almost incoherent. It was almost as if the universe had decided to play some sick joke on you, simply looking for some sort of twisted entertainment at your expense.

 “Y/N, come to the party!” He whined, hiccupping slightly with a watery voice. “I just want to see you again. Why aren’t you coming? Don’t you love me anymore?”

 His words stung you, making you wince as your heart dropped to the floor. Of course you loved him – how could you not? You had spent the better part of the past three years with him. It wasn’t possible to forgot about him in just a few months.

 Your ringing phone tore you out of your thoughts. His name, still with the single heart next to it, flashed across the screen. Almost out of muscle memory, your fingers answered the call before speaking into the mic.

 “Taehyung, where are you?”

 “Y/N, why aren’t you here?” He slurred, speaking too loudly. He was definitely too drunk to be alone. “Jimin said –”

 “Where are you?” You repeated, opening the Uber app on your phone to send one to him. You already knew that the rest of the boys were drunk, but they all had someone to take care of them, someone to look after them in their intoxicated state. Only Taehyung had no one to go home to. “Do you want me to send you an Uber?”

 “Come fetch me.” He whined. “I want to see you.” You bit your lip, knowing that he wouldn’t budge on his request. But you didn’t think your heart could face seeing him again. Not after how you had left him the last time. “Y/N, please, baby.”

 “Send me your location.” You replied weakly, your insides already twisting with regret. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

 Moments later, you found yourself driving to the destination that had immediately been sent to you by Taehyung. You knew the address well – after all, you had spent a lot of time there over the past three years. It was Jimin’s house. Although you knew this was a mistake, you felt like you owned this to him: taking care of him, just as how he had done to you before.

 “My Y/N.” Taehyung sang as he saw you walk up to him. He had been sitting on the sidewalk for who knows how long, waiting for you to come. He gently took hold of your hand and tried to pull you down, to sit with him, but thanks to his intoxicated state, he didn’t have the strength or the coordination to do so. “Come sit with me, baby.”

 “You need to go home, Taehyung.” You said, trying to scold him but your tone was just too soft. “You can’t sit here the entire night.”

 “Why would I want to go home?” He laughed, hiccupping slightly. “What’s there for me?”

 “Stand up.” You murmured, ignoring his heartbroken words, as well as how right his hand felt in your own. “Come on.”

 Out the corner of your eye, you saw Jimin and Jungkook looking at the scene unfold. Truthfully, they had become a little distant with you, but not unfriendly. If they saw you around town, or just in passing, they’d talk to you briefly. But it was clear that they didn’t agree with the way you had handled things with Taehyung.

 “Can I come to your place?” He slurred, allowing you to gently lift him using his hands to tug him up.

 “No, I’m taking you back to yours.” You sighed, wrapping his arm around your neck to that he could lean on you for support. You didn’t know if he had heard you or not, but you didn’t question it. You would rather he didn’t ask questions.

 Eventually making it back to your car, you opened the passenger-side door, trying to put him inside gently.

 “Watch your head.” You mumbled, placing a hand above his head so that he wouldn’t hurt himself. He stared at you, not exactly knowing why he was, but he didn’t want to stop. He took in your every movement, mesmerised by the way you strapped him in with the safety belt.

 As you closed the car door, careful not to do it too loud (as it might frighten Taehyung), you realised that Jimin and Jungkook were still looking at both of you. Waving your hand in greeting, you then bowed your head slightly, before walking around the car and getting in.

 “My Y/N!” Taehyung sang for the second time tonight whilst making grabby hands towards you. “Who did you wave to?”

 “Jimin and Kookie.” You replied curtly, starting the car and driving away. He looked at you with his head cocked to the side, giving you the impression of an overgrown child. The cuteness was almost enough to make you giggle.

 Choosing to ignore him for the rest of the car ride, you kept your eyes fixed on the road in front of you. Unbeknownst to you, he had been staring at you the entire time, a slight pout on his plush lips indicating his confusion and frustration – all because you didn’t give him the attention he wanted.

 “Baby, why aren’t you looking at me?” He whined, rubbing his large hand against your knee. The tiny action caused your heartrate to spike, making heat rise to your face. “You’re very pretty. I want to see you.”

 “Taehyung, I’m driving!” You scolded, voice rising ever so slightly, as he tried to grab your hand. He let out a sound of frustration, making his irritation known.

 “God, you don’t want to marry me, you don’t let me hold your hand. Did you ever love me?”

 “I – Of course, I do.” You murmured quietly, throat constricting at his forlorn tone. “You know I do.”

 “Then what’s the issue? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?” He replied with his muscular arms crossed over his chest. You noticed that his voice was almost completely void of any slur, indicating that he was sobering up slowly. Choosing to ignore his question, you parked your car at his apartment block, before unlocking your car doors.

 “Can you walk?” You asked, not turning to look at him. When he didn’t answer, you noticed he had fallen asleep, forehead pressed against the glass window as little snores left his parted mouth. “Aish, Kim Taehyung. I swear you’re going to be the death of me.”

 You walked around the car, over to his side, before slowly opening the door, careful to not let his head tilt too much. Unbuckling his safety belt, you gently shook his shoulder, trying to wake him. “Tae? Wake up. You need to go inside.”

 Slowly, his eyes opened, still cloudy from intoxication. His hands found purchase in your own, holding onto them tightly. “Come on, let’s go inside.” You murmured, helping him out your car before locking it.

 “I miss you, Jagi.” He mumbled as he stumbled into the elevator. Sighing, you took his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders, trying your best to stabilize him. He took this as an invitation to wrap his other arm around you as well, pulling you tightly to his chest as he embraced you.

 This simple gesture was enough to cause a burn at the back of your eyes. He still smelled like him: something earthy, musky yet sweet like honey at the same time. Granted, his scent was now slightly tainted with whiskey, bourbon and whatever else he had drunk, but it was still him. Still your Taehyung.

 Catching yourself, you tore your body from his, just in time for the elevator doors to open. He was still wobbly on his feet, which resulted in it taking about ten minutes to make it to his apartment. Pushing a pot plant aside, you found the spare key he had hidden, using it to open the front door.

 “Have you eaten anything?” You asked as you carefully placed him on the sofa. The very same sofa where you had left him when you walked out on him. He shook his head in response, causing you to sigh. “That’s why you’re so drunk, Tae.”

 “Keep calling me that.” He replied, smiling goofily. “You’re the only one allowed to call me that, okay, Y/N?”

 Choosing once again to ignore his drunken nonsense, you went into the kitchen and opened the cupboards to find something to cook. Disappointment filled you as you saw the nearly empty shelves, only a lone packet of instant noodles met your eyes.

 “Why are the drawers empty – Taehyung?” You had originally turned around to chastise him, knowing that he had probably not been eating properly, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Instead, you heard retching coming from the bathroom, making you sigh as you walked there, following the sounds.

 The door was slightly ajar, some feeble attempt at saving his integrity, showing you Taehyung on his knees, back convulsing as the alcohol tried to escape his body. You begun rubbing his back soothingly, trying to coax the sickness away.

 “Don’t – Don’t look at me like this…” He trailed off, before wincing as he retched. Unphased, you continued to stroke his back, using one hand to keep his long hair out of his face. “Y/N, please…”

 “It’s okay, Tae, just let it out.” You murmured, trying to ignore the sinewy muscles under your fingers. You kept cooing at him until he no longer vomited, making sure he was completely done before gently pulling him up to his feet. “Do you think you can wash your face and brush your teeth?”

 Once he nodded, you left the bathroom, still intent on making him something to eat. As you busied yourself in the familiar kitchen, you couldn’t help but notice that he still kept the polaroids of the both of you stuck onto the fridge. It was as if you had never left his life.

 A few minutes later, he padded into the kitchen, now changed from jeans to sweatpants, with his long hair pulled back into a small ponytail. As he plopped himself down onto the barstool, you placed the bowl of noodles in front of him, as well as a pair of chopsticks.

 “Think you can feed yourself?” You asked, not sure if he could keep his head up by himself, let alone eat. He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak, as the alcohol induced headache slowly crept up on him.

 You didn’t respond verbally: instead, you choose to sit next to him, spinning his chair to face you, then began slowly feeding him. His eyes never left your own, the dark mocha orbs slowly becoming clearer as the alcohol left his system. After you were done with the noodles, you placed a glass of water and some painkillers in front of him, already knowing that he had probably started getting the slow throbs of a headache.

 Leaving him to take his pills in the kitchen, you walked to what use to be your shared room with Taehyung, knowing that he probably left it too untidy for him to actually sleep in. Once again, the heart-wrenchingly familiar sight met your eyes: it was exactly the same as it was when you had last been here. From the single, messy side of the bed, you realised that Taehyung had even stayed on his side of the bed – your side was crisp, clean and as neat as ever.

 Choosing to ignore the pang in your chest, you walked forward to quickly make his bed. You grabbed the comforter to smooth it out before fluffing up the pillows exactly how he would. Quickly running your hand over the bed, making sure it was as smooth as it could be, you decided it was time to put Taehyung in bed: the sooner you were out of here, the better.

 You stepped back to fetch Taehyung, but the red, velvet-covered box caught your eye. Your stomach dropped to the ground as you realised what it was. With your hand shaking, you reached out to the box, gently grasping it before opening it. The ring – although it wasn’t your first time seeing it – was breath-taking: the black band studded with small diamonds surrounding a much larger, glinting diamond inlaid in the centre.

 Carefully lifting the jewellery from its cushion, you noticed that he had engraved your anniversary date on the band, as well as his initials – this narcissistic detail made you snort with laughter: it was so much like Taehyung to do that. Putting a ring on your finger wasn’t enough to claim you – he wanted to label you with his name as well. You know he didn’t do that as some sort of sick, over possessive trick: if you had said yes, his wedding band would have had your initials.

 “You can take it if you want.” A hoarse voice behind you whispered, scaring you enough to make you jump. “It is yours after all, Y/N.”

 “Let’s get you into bed.” You softly said, your chest feeling warm at the sight of him. He made no move to get into the newly made bed, which made you think he was still a little drunk, rendering him motionless. But when you placed your hand in his – to help him into bed – his hand was no longer clammy and hot, which were signs of his intoxication. They were slightly warm, and dry; looking into his eyes, you realised that he was now completely sober.

 His eyes held yours, the intimate gesture causing every inch of your skin to light aflame, sending you signals to leave now. From past experience, you knew just how vulnerable his eyes made you. You tugged on your hand that was now threaded in his fingers, but it didn’t budge.

 “Please don’t go.” He whispered, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Don’t leave yet. Please, Y/N.”

 His voice sounded so soft, so broken, that you couldn’t help but feel your own eyes slowly pool with moisture. Against your will, your throat burned, causing your bottom lip to tremble. He noticed this, and before you could comprehend what had happened, you found yourself pulled flush against his hard chest, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

 His scent assaulted your senses again, but this time it caused the start of your tears falling. You missed this so much, it almost hurt to think of anything else. Vaguely noticing his arms unwrapping from your body, he sat on the bed with you in his lap and used his rough fingers to wipe away the never-ending stream of tears.

 “Don’t cry.” He said, thickly, his own tears slowly dripping down his face. Using the pad of your thumb, you brushed the droplets away from his face, tracing his cheekbone after you were done to soothe him.

 “I miss you so much.” You admitted, tears still streaming down your face as you hiccupped your words out. “I thought about you every single day, Tae. You were always on my mind.”

 “You never left mine, baby.” He replied, truthfully. “You have no idea how badly I missed you. Not seeing you every day was torture.”

 You didn’t say anything for a few minutes, instead choosing to savour his embrace, his presence for as long as you could. You didn’t know if this would ever happen again. Despite the emotional baggage you had both just thrown at one another, it didn’t change the fact that you had walked out on him.

 “Why did you say no?” He whispered, now laying against the bed, next to you. “I was so confident you were going to marry me.”

 Gnawing on your lip, mainly out of frustration, you didn’t know how to answer this without sounding like a complete fool. “I’m terrified, Tae. I’m scared that I won’t be enough for you. I’m worried that our love would slowly disappear. I’m scared that you would stop loving me, but we’d be in too deep with being married for you to leave me. As much as being alone scares me, I’d never force you to stay with me if you weren’t happy. I just… I just don’t want to be another divorce statistic.”

 He slowly took in your words, staring at you the entire time as he gave you his undivided attention. When you didn’t hear him respond after a few beats, you turned to him, waiting for him to speak.

 “So… It wasn’t because there was something wrong with me? Not because I did something wrong?” He asked, weakly, his face full of unspoken emotion. Your eyes filled with tears once again at his words: your rash actions had resulted in him thinking that he was the issue.

 “You’re perfect, Taehyung.” You answered, turning onto your side so that you could cup his face gently. His eyes closed at your featherlight touch. “You’ve never done anything wrong.”

 You spent a few moments basking in the presence of one another – having spent a couple months apart, you simply just missed being near him. His large hand wrapped around your waist pulling you to him, needing you to be as close as humanly possible; now that he had finally gotten you back in his arms, he wasn’t going to let you go.

 “So, what now?” You asked, almost shyly as your hand lightly caressed his spine.

 “I know we still have a lot to talk about,” He truthfully replied, knowing that there were many more conversations to be had before you two could fully go back to the way you used to be. “But you’ll spend the night, right?”

 “If you take me to get pancakes, I’ll even spend the morning.” You teased, relishing in the loud boom of his deep laughter.

[sleepy-exe]

Shapeshifter AU - 3

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 2 | Part 4 >>

Summary: Y/n has a mission to complete. Iwaizumi’s friend is in town.

Word count: 3k

Warnings:  work stress mentioned, alcohol + bar location, y/n makes bad choices (following a stranger to a second location, hanging out with the person she should probably avoid), also is kind of a creep (the creepy-ness won't last i swear), some people are drunk, including Oikawa, bless him, best boy is also best wingman, kinda, y/n refuses to put real names in her phone contacts, someone gets dumped/ghosted, Oikawa is so drunk

Not a warning but: Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer. That’s what you’re here for, right? That’s what I’m here for.

Genre: sfw (for now, 18+ regardless), shapeshifter au, potential enemies to lovers

a/n: I introduced an OC in this part, Mizuki. I hope you come to love her. As someone who kins Oikawa, I gave him my “drunk persona” for the bar scene. He’ll be normal later, I swear.

Part 3: So We Meet Again

It was no secret among Y/n’s friends that she loved to visit the bars in downtown Osaka, but a locally owned bar in Ikuno was a favorite of hers when she wanted a change in scenery. It was small and cozy with friendly staff. Besides university students, mostly middle-aged men frequented here, but everyone seemed to mind their own business and leave her alone, as she preferred. 

Double doors closing behind her, she was met with the sounds of chatter from other patrons and classic rock playing from the sound system. The smell of alcohol was not overwhelming and someone definitely has hot wings. The dark oak counter was straight ahead, lined in front with at least a dozen matching stools with black leather on the seats, and shelves of alcohol bottles behind. Booths lined the side walls and high tables with stools were spread amongst the center.

She walked up to a part of the counter no one was occupying and waved to the bartender. A short middle-aged woman with dark hair, only slightly peppered with grey. She usually worked here when y/n visited, but she could never remember her name and felt too awkward to ask for it again.

“Hey sweetie! You haven’t been in here in awhile! I was wondering if I was gonna see you again,” the woman spoke cheerfully as she always does, “What can I get for you? Something fruity or thinking something different tonight?”

She smiled at the bartender. “You can’t get rid of me that easily,” she winked, “And I’m thinkin’.. strawberry vodka-Sprite.”

“Can do!” She leaned in closer with a grin, “Should I make that strong?”

She leaned in as well, grinning back, “Hmm.. Why not.”

“I’ll get right on it,” the bartender took off and got to work on the drink. She went ahead and grabbed money for the women, dropping it on the counter in front of her with a hand resting over it as she looked around the bar. Sometimes a friend or two would be here and she’d invite herself to their table, otherwise she usually just picked a stool at the counter and chatted with whoever was bartending that night.

“Here ya go, sweetie,” the woman placed a short glass in front of her and Y/n pushed the money towards her.

“Thank you,” she picked up the drink and hopped onto a stool, spinning her back to the counter as she sipped the drink; tending to be more comfortable with people watching than socializing with strangers. A table to the left was full of older gentlemen, two of them seemed to be arguing, and oh look, they have the hot wings. Some college girls were squealing over something nearby, colorful drinks on their table. She continued looking around the bar, idly sipping her vodka-Sprite, relaxing after a long day of work.

Eventually, a man’s voice caught her attention from the right corner of the bar. He has styled brown hair and seems pretty tall now that he’s standing in his booth, waving his hands around while yelling. Is he telling a story or fighting with the other guy at his table? The other guy growled something at him with a smack to one of his flailing hands.

Buzzing in her coat pocket grabbed her attention from the two. Lifting her phone she saw a text notification from a friend. Turning to face the counter once more and setting down her glass, she opened the text.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “im so mad at him”

Mizuki’s never ending boy trouble it seems. Her taste in men usually didn’t end well for her; meaning she often had to console a sad or angry Mizuki. She brought her drink to her lips to sip at while she texted her friend.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’:  “is that so”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “im serious! we made plans and he ditched me”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “AGAIN!!”

Didn’t she just say the other night that she wasn’t seeing this guy anymore? Either way, her plans are ruined and she’s not happy. She’s probably looking for someone else to hang out with tonight and vent to.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “okay okay I’m sorry”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “are you home?”

Someone was now standing beside y/n ordering a drink. The sudden voice next to her had her glancing up by instinct. Only to immediately snap her head back to her phone, now leaning over the counter with it. Hair falling around her face.

It’s him.

Shit.

Well this wasn’t in the plan for tonight. So much for unwinding at the bar. She’s now fully winded and on edge.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “no I’m out. Sorry.”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “where?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “in Ikuno”

Raising her head, she sees the man from outside the woods is no longer next to her. Phone buzzing once more as she takes a gulp of the vodka-Sprite.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “ugh are you at that dive bar?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “its nice here. You can join me if you want”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “no thanks”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “When will you be home?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “i just got here.”

The bartender appeared once more and offered a refill now that her glass was pretty much empty. She nodded and thanked her.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “what about blondie? I think he’s been dying to hang out”

Should she go see her? Probably. But Y/n’s on a spontaneous mission and her bestie was always up for a slumber party anyway, so he can help her vent and get all these negative emotions out. She looked over her shoulder to see if the man was nearby, only to catch his gaze from his spot at the table with the brunette man she determined to most likely be his friend. Neither of them are blinking and she mentally curses herself. Back to back buzzing broke her staring contest and she checked Mizuki’s messages.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “yeah i guess he’s free.”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “He’s coming to my place.”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “If you get bored you know where to find us.”

The bartender handed over a new drink and she once again immediately paid for it.

What am I going to do about this? He’s staring too much to not know, right?

I could be overthinking this.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “love you. Sorry your date was a dick.”

But it couldn’t hurt to keep an eye on him for now.

Once again looking over her shoulder, a new vodka-Sprite in hand, she gained some courage. Some. She could always abort the mission and was sure the nice lady behind the counter would save her if she came running. Hopping off her stool and walking toward the two men’s booth, the brunette looked her way and offered a smile.

“Hello, pretty lady,” the brunette’s smile turned smug, “What do we owe the pleasure?”

Once he spoke, the other man looked in her direction, looking a little surprised. “Hey..”

“Hey there,” looking between the men before she continued. What’s the plan here again? “Mind some extra company? I was chatting with the bartender, but she seems busy.”

“Of course! You seem harmless enough. I’m Oikawa Tooru,” he waved a hand towards the other man, “And this is Iwa-chan.”

“Iwaizumi,” Iwa-chan intercepted.

“Y/n. Are ya sure I’m not interrupting you two?”

She sat next to Iwaizumi after he shook his head, “Oikawa has been retelling a story I already know.”

Oikawa looked insulted, “I come to visit and you’re going to complain?!”

“Oh, you guys aren’t from around here?”

Plan decided. Well, half a plan. A mini plan until she figures things out later - but there needs to be a later. Find out where he lives or at least get his number in the case that he does actually know about the whole wolf thing, so she can find him if needed. Getting his number should be easy enough; if not Iwaizumi’s, then probably Oikawa’s. Because she is a pretty lady.

Thanks, Oikawa.

“Well, no, weren’t not, but he doesn’t even live in Japan anymore,” Iwaizumi pointed to his friend.

So maybe Oikawa is out.

“We grew up together in Miyagi,” Oikawa chimed in, “but I moved away to become an amazing setter in Argentina! He moved chasing dreams too.” He winked at Iwaizumi, who completely ignored it.

“You’ve always been an amazing setter,” Iwaizumi brought his beer to his lips.

“So you live in Japan still?” She asked, swirling the straw around in her drink.

He didn’t have the chance to answer before Oikawa answered for him, “Yup! But enough of that. What brings you to this place? There’s so many nicer bars and clubs in Osaka.”

“I found this place back in college. There are lots of options here, but this place is one of my favorites.”

He shot a disgusted look, “Why?”

Iwaizumi flicked a balled up straw wrapper at him, “There’s nothing wrong with this place!”

“Hate to make myself sound like an alcoholic, I swear I’m not, but I’ve never seen ya here before and I feel like I would have recognized you two if I had.” She played with a piece of hair near her face. Oikawa mouthed ‘oh’ and wiggled an eyebrow. To be fair, as pretty as he is she would have recognized him if she had seen him before.

“Funny, I think I’ve seen you around,” Iwaizumi returned his attention to his drink momentarily. Meanwhile, Oikawa was looking between the two across from him, straw between his lips.

Quietly sipping her own drink, she tried to think of some sort of reply to pick at that comment. He could have seen her here, but what if he’s referring to the parking lot outside the forest? Oikawa interrupted her thoughts before she could gather anything useful.

“So you live around here then?” She went wide eyed for a second and he immediately waved his hands in front of himself apologetically, “It sounds like you’re here enough if this is a favorite. I just figured-“

She cut him off with a chuckle. “You’re fine! And you could say I live in the area, yeah..,” she glanced at Iwaizumi, “Is it safe to guess you’re in Osaka too?”

He hesitated, “Yeah. Not too far from here.”

Good good.

“So Y/n, where are you from,” Oikawa pushed his now empty glass to the side, “Or have you always been in Osaka?”

“Ah, no. I moved here for college and stayed after graduating. I grew up in Hyogo actually,” she giggled, “Guess we all moved from home, huh? Though I didn't move as far as either of you.”

“Excuse me,” Y/n let Iwaizumi out of the booth then scoot back to take his spot. He grabbed his glass and Oikawa’s, “I’ll grab us new drinks.”

He looked at her asking if she needed anything to which she shook her head, then he took off with the empty glasses.

“So you both moved here for careers then,” Oikawa nodded towards Iwaizumi who was already halfway to the counter.

“That so?” She blinked at the fuzziness in her head. Miss bartender did indeed make her drinks stronger today. Should probably call it quits after this one if she hoped to sober up by the end of the night.

“After college he moved here to be closer to- Well, he was in Tokyo then here. But anyway, he’s an athletic trainer for the pro volleyball teams here,” Oikawa leaned in as he spoke. “Though it's too bad he won’t come to Argentina to work with my team! I do miss him.”

She gave a sincere smile, “Do you get to see him very often? That’s so far away..”

Oikawa’s grin dropped and spoke somberly, “I usually fly back home a couple times a year, and every time I come to see him.. We do talk on the phone a lot though.”

“Here,” Iwaizumi set a new cocktail in front of Oikawa, but that was the only drink he had in hand, “You weren’t talking shit about me while I was gone, were you?”

“You didn’t get yourself anything!” Oikawa complained, then went right to sipping on his straw as his friend slipped into the booth next to her.

“I’m fine for now. Maybe later.”

“Fine, Iwa-chan,” he settled back down, “Oh! It sounds like Y/n has been in Osaka longer than you. Maybe she can tell you all the fun stuff around, so you can do something other than hang with the guys and go to bars.”

Iwaizumi looked less than pleased by that statement.

She snorted, “Well, it sounds to me like we have similar hobbies. I probably don’t know anything you don’t know.”

“Really,” Iwaizumi eyed her expectantly.

“Well.. If you get tired of the lack of grass around.. Most of the area is concrete, but there’s a few tiny parks in the suburbs, and I think one downtown, or near there at least. ”

He looked at her emotionless, “Yeah? I don’t remember coming across any of those. But I have found the large forest east of here. It’s not terribly far.”

Right..

By now she was finishing off her own drink. Oikawa was going on about something that she’s pretty sure is volleyball related. Watching the men bicker, she not-so-carefully sat the glass in front of her before placing her hands on her thighs.

Iwaizumi broke his attention from Oikawa at the sound of glass clicking against wood and looked at her glass then her. “Sure you don’t want anything?”

“I’m hoping to not leave my car here tonight.” She grabbed her phone to check that Mizuki hadn’t messaged her. With the lack of notifications she figured that meant she was happy now.

>> To ‘Blondie’: “you are with Mizuki right?”

“Oh! You drive?” The bottom of Oikawa's glass hit the table hard out of excitement. Hopefully he didn’t drive here too. “What do you drive?” He’s excitable and full of questions, that’s for sure. Isn't she supposed to be the one asking all these questions?

“I do.. I have a Civic.” Playing with the straw and leftover ice in her empty cup.

>> From ‘Blondie’: “ur just now checkin???”

>> From 'Blondie': “I’m the better friend of course i showed up”

Ouch.

>> To ‘Blondie’: “i figured i just checkin”

Slumping back in the booth she was once again watching the boys talk. Oikawa is really animated.

“Are you texting your partner?” Oikawa winked, “Oh! Let me give you my number!” And he nearly knocked over his drink trying to slide his phone to her. Iwaizumi let out a string of curses as he kept the glass from falling and moved it out of the way.

Laughing, she took his phone and entered her number, going ahead and putting ‘Y/n-chan’ as the contact before sliding the phone back. “You didn’t drive here, did you?”

“Iwa-chan! Give her your phone!”

He sighed and grabbed his phone, opening the contact app before handing it to her. “He did not. We Ubered here.”

She put her number in his phone too, being sure to text herself with his phone so she would have his before handing it back.

Phone number down.

Oikawa tapped around on his phone and chugged the rest of his cocktail. A buzz from her phone followed.

>> From ‘unknown’: “seroius do u have a lover??”

She managed to half contain a laugh and save his number under ‘Oi-chan’.

“Welp! I’m going to get going. My Uber is here,” Oikawa pulled himself to his feet and smacked a hand on the table in front of Iwaizumi, “I’m going back to the hotel. Go on and keep the pretty lady company, Iwa-chan.” He kissed Iwaizumi’s head which earned him a slap followed by a friendly goodbye and promise of seeing him tomorrow. Then he gave Y/n a big smile before heading away.

Thanks, Oikawa.

Turning to Iwaizumi with a grin, “Yer friend is entertaining.”

“Yeah.. He’s a really good person and friend.”

She offered a soft smile.

“Not to rush or anything,” he started, “but is there a particular time you’re trying to get out of here by?”

“No no,” she straightened, “I had no real plans for tonight other than to chill here.”

And added, “Also didn’t plan on the bartender treating me with stronger drinks than usual either. So.. I gotta sober up before I can leave.. You were smart with the Uber.”

He chuckled, “Maybe remember that for next time.”

“Yeah yeah..”

The two chatted for a good hour, maybe longer. Iwaizumi told old stories from high school of his best friend, as well as what he was doing in Argentina now. He also spoke briefly about the volleyball teams he’s worked with as an athletic trainer. Apparently he moved to Ikuno to be closer to the team in Higashiosaka that he’s been working with the most.

Sitting there she caught the bright street lights outside the windows of the bar, though not too bright with the bar’s tinted windows. She remembered how nice it was out tonight. It would be a good night for stargazing, but with all of the lights in town it would be hard to see any stars. The best place for stargazing here is the forest..

But there is a public park north of the forest. Far from where she runs. It’s probably closed after dark, but all parks were and that never stopped her from sneaking into the forest. Though, the forest itself didn’t have open hours. Pretty sure.

Still looking out the window she started, “Hey.. The sky is really clear tonight.”

Iwaizumi glanced at her. She continued looking outside, “Obviously you can’t see stars anywhere near here.. But north of the forest pass Higashi’ there’s a park with a large clearing that would be perfect.”

He gave her an incredulous look, “You’re not saying you want to go on what, probably an hour drive to look at stars? Are you even good to drive yet?”

Humming she decided she was set on it. Plus maybe from there he’d let her drive him home. Then she'd be two for two - mini mission achieved. “..Can you drive a manual?”

Part 4 >>

[mischiefandi]

A Shitty Love Song (Part 1) - Stiles Stilinski

Wild Ones

A/N: hey everyone! this has been a long time coming! thank you for lovely comments on my previous post, im super happy to finally be posting this. a HUGE thank you to @duskholland​ for helping me out so much with this series, ily to death bitch. enjoyy yall

Summary: Y/N is a 17 year old girl who struggles in an epic battle against herself. Whether it is amor’s icy grasp or life’s unexpected course that forces her to finally open up, only one thing is certain. The truth cannot be long hidden.

Warnings: underage drinking, party times, maybe a couple of swear words but im not sure haha

Word Count: 5,3K

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Y/N)

Series Masterlist

(picture is not mine -> credits to @ pechka on unsplash)

Seasons before, in the early fall where the leaves don’t yet want to leave their wooden hooks, Y/N had just started her junior year of high school. Being the new girl in school, she was afraid of being alone - something she had always been - but not this year. Whether it was chance or fate, she happened to fall upon a curious but wonderful group of people who quickly became her friends.  

At its center, Scott McCall, young lacrosse player with a boyish charm and a heart of gold and by his side, Stiles Stilinski, an eccentric and spirited young man. Surrounding them were Lydia Martin, the fiery and confident genius, the sweet yet lethal huntress, Allison Argent, and finally Isaac Lahey, charming Mr Mischief himself.

This pack of wild cards had found a new companion, and Y/N fit in like a puzzle piece filling in its designated spot. She got along with everyone in the group, forming indestructible friendships with these eccentric teenagers, and she felt fortunate beyond belief. More often than not, she would eat with them by the walnut tree outside of the school. The group would share stories and food, complaining about the soporific lessons from the earlier period, or excitedly planning the next outing, the next party. Every week, the teenagers would go hang out in the woods by the mystical ruins of the Hale House, doing more of the same. Life was light and good.

The group had planned on hanging out by the Hale House one quiet September afternoon, but the universe likes to play tricks, and somehow Y/N and Stiles were the only ones to show up. Deeming it a happy accident, the pair walked through the damp woods together, talking about their day and slowly letting each other in. Laughter echoed between the trees and the wind turned.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

A little more than a month had gone by and Halloween was just around the corner. Classes seemed longer than usual, bigger stacks of schoolwork forming daunting piles on Y/N’s desk. But school was the last thing she could think of when she got home after a long day of concentration. The only thing that mattered, was Stiles. Video calls, phone calls, and late night texts that seemed to never cease took over the second Y/N’s feet passed the threshold of her home. And nothing compared to these conversations.

“I’m sorry but no.”

“Stiles, stop, seriously.”

The mole-speckled boy lunged forward in front of the screen and passed a shaking hand through his spiky hair.

“There is no way you like the second trilogy better than the first one. It’s just not possible.”

“Well it is possible, because I do,” Y/N retorted, her unfazed expression gleaming back at him.

“Literally how? The group dynamic alone should make you see reason. I mean come on. Han and Leia? Han and Chewie? Han and Luke?”

“You do know Star Wars doesn’t exclusively revolve around Han Solo right?” she asked, her lips breaking into a smirk.

“First of all, no. Second, give me one single reason why the second trilogy is better than the first,” Stiles said, “I dare you.”

“One reason?”

The boy nodded, serious as a statue.

“Hayden Christensen.”

Stiles groaned deeply, his face buried in his large hands.

“Can’t even have a serious discussion about Star Wars with someone rational.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“You’re the worst.”

Y/N paused, holding a finger to her chin.

“Hmm, agree to disagree.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Hey! How can we have an intelligent debate about anything if you use swearing as a last resort.”

“I have given up on us. It’s over.”

Y/N laughed profusely against her pillow, shaking her head.

“You’re a drama queen.”

“FRIENDSHIP OVER!” Stiles bellowed and Y/N shot her head back, unstoppable laughter erupting from her stomach.

“It’s going to make things awkward at the party, Friday,” Y/N said between chuckles, her laughter quieting down.

“Who said you were even invited,” replied Stiles, adjusting his shirt, revealing a tiny patch of skin just above his sweats. Y/N’s eyes flicked over to the screen but the second had passed.

“Funny. Listen, I gotta get some sleep otherwise I’ll pass out in math or something.”

“Yeah, I should probably also go to bed sometime soon.”

“Hopefully before tomorrow morning.”

“Har-har,” said Stiles, smiling at the camera, his chocolatey irises beaming at Y/N.

“Goodnight nerd.”

“Goodnight loser.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Stiles before hanging up the call.

That night, as she carefully brushed her teeth and got her clothes ready for the next day, Y/N thought back on her video call with Stiles, a warm smile spreading on her lips.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

The week passed so slowly, each hour lasting an exhausting eternity. School, demanding as ever, while keeping Y/N busy, was the reason why time seemed so lengthy. The nasty side-effect from tantalizing hours is the amount of thinking you do to keep busy. So Y/N did just that. She thought about how much she cared for her group of friends, she thought about the fact that she had never felt like she belonged like she did then.

She thought about how nice it was sitting by the Hale House, enjoying each others’ company, how life is so much lighter when you feel surrounded, how much she had learned about herself after meeting the pack. She thought about the band Stiles and her liked so much. She thought about Star Wars. She thought about the sound her computer made when Stiles sent her a message. She thought of his hair, his moles, his neck. She thought about how thrilling it was when he sat next to her. She thought about how much he mattered in her life, just like the others mattered too.

Y/N did so much thinking that week. But the funny thing is, amor has a way of tricking your mind. Your body believes one thing but your mind has been bewitched, and no amount of thinking you do can remove the fog clouding over your eyes. 

When came Friday, Y/N was happy to be done with school, bursting through the doors of the establishment, excited to go home and get ready for Danny’s Blackout Party. She was thrilled about going, however nervous she felt. 

She had never been to a party like Danny’s rave before and she had no idea what to expect. But more importantly, she was afraid of crowds. She had tried going out to packed bars with people from her old school, but the chaos and the drunks surrounding her made her feel beyond uneasy. 

“Y/N! Wait up!” She heard Allison exclaim, and she slowed down her pace, allowing the brunette to catch up with her.

“Are you excited for tonight?” asked Allison, her light brown eyes gleaming brightly.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be...crazy.”

“You okay?”

Y/N forced a smile and nodded overenthusiastically.

“Yeah! Just tired. It was a long day,” she replied.

“Same here, which is why, we need to let loose tonight! Let’s get ready at Lydia’s, so we can all head over there together.”

“Sure. Quick question though, how did Lydia get us invited in the first place?”

Allison giggled, nodding her head towards Aiden and Ethan standing by their motorcycles.

“How do you think?”

The girl’s laughter echoed through the cool autumn air and disappeared with their cars. It was going to be a night to remember.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Y/N and Allison reached Lydia’s house, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more and more anxious, tightly gripping her bag filled with clothes and makeup. The party was starting to worry her.

People had been whispering about it all day back at the high school, talking about the numerous illicit drinks that would be served and the intriguing entertainment. It seemed like the Danny had gone all out for Halloween. Still, not knowing exactly what to expect practically terrified Y/N. 

She was outgoing, but big crowds and chaos were things that made panic bubble up inside of her very core, quickening her heartbeat to a frightening extent. She loved dancing and partying, and much like other people her age, she loved a good drink every once in a while, but huge events and big blowouts, she had never been a fan of.

Putting on a brave face, Y/N shut the car door and walked up the stairs to Lydia’s front porch, ringing the doorbell as Allison locked the car. After what seemed like mere seconds, Lydia opened the door, letting the excited girls in.

“Finally. I thought I was going to have to get going without you,” she said, smirking at the pair.

“Y/N couldn’t decide what to wear,” replied Allison, sending Y/N a look that made Lydia scoff.

“Excuse me if I've never been to a neon-themed rave. How am I supposed to know what to wear?”

“Well the name of said rave could be a pretty good indicator,” mocked Lydia as the girls walked up to her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

“Ali, what are you wearing?”

Allison giggled with a smirk and did a demonstrative twirl, showing off her burgundy flannel shirt and black jeans.

“This!”

Lydia raised her eyebrows at the brunette, a confused expression etched on her face.

“Am I the only one here who understands the term “neon”?” she asked.

Allison shook her head then slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a neon pink bra.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. This stunt was definitely orchestrated for someone special.

“Wow. Isaac will love it.”

“It’s about time you two did something about your situation,” joked Lydia, reaching for an eyelash curler.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Allison with an innocent shrug and a slightly less innocent wink.

“Well now that Allison’s outfit is sorted, it’s your turn, Y/N. Let’s see what’s in this enormous bag of yours.”

The strawberry blonde bent down and grabbed Y/N’s bag before she could say anything, emptying its contents in a flash.

“No, no, definitely not, no…Y/N, why are all of these clothes black?” inquired Lydia, with a look of disgust she had difficulty hiding.

“Lyds, I told you, I don’t know what to wear to a rave.”

“Show me your bra.”

“What?”

“Show me your bra. If it’s the right colour, we can just pair it with some of my clothes.”

Y/N reluctantly removed her white shirt, revealing an electric blue floral lace bra, much to Lydia’s delight. Allison whistled approvingly.

“Okay here’s what we’re gonna do.” Lydia walked over to her closet, carefully studying its contents. Allison and Y/N exchanged a glance as Lydia clapped her hands together.

“This goes with this, and you have to tuck it in, like so,” she said, “okay, try this on. Now.”

Y/N looked down at the outfit her friend had put together.

“Yes ma’am,” she mumbled, her face as white as a sheet.

Y/N walked to the corner of the room as the girls chatted and finished getting ready. Her heart thundered as she passed her neck through the bottom of the sheer black top Lydia had handed to her. Looking herself in the mirror, all she could see was a blushing dishevelled mess. Her bra covered most of her chest, but the curves of her breasts were only slightly hidden by the black mesh material she was wearing.

“Okay, this is okay…” she muttered to herself, trying not to panic.

Bending down, she grabbed the black layered skirt she had brought with her and brought it up to her hips, tucking the top inside. The skirt helped balance out the outfit, but still Y/N wasn’t fully convinced.

“How are you feeling?”

“Kind of nervous honestly.”

“I meant how do you feel about the outfit- but you’re nervous? Why?” asked Lydia, walking over to Y/N in front of the full-length mirror.

“It’s just- I’ve never been to a big party like tonight, much less looking like…this,” Y/N reluctantly replied.

Lydia bit her lip and sucked in some air before smiling widely at Y/N and taking a step forward.

“By “looking like this” I hope you mean by looking incredible. Y/N, look at yourself. You’re tall and confident, the outfit looks amazing on you. Your look is not the problem,” she said, gently.

“Then what is?”

“You tell us,” replied Allison, walking over to the girls by the mirror.

Y/N exhaled deeply and turned around to face her friends.

“I hate crowds. I love partying don’t get me wrong, I just- I get really really panicky around big crowds of people. The noise, the warmth, all of it, just terrifies me. I’m worried that I’ll hate it and freak out or something. I’m sorry, I probably should have said something before.”

As soon as the daunting words had slipped through her lips, Y/N felt a weight lift from her weary shoulders, a wave of relief passing over her entire body.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everyone’s got something they’re uncomfortable with. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Allison, sweetly.

“I know, it’s not that I’m ashamed, I just- didn’t wanna be a downer. I really am excited for tonight! I’m just nervous.”

Lydia placed her hands on Y/N’s shoulders and smiled brightly.

“Look, you’re gorgeous right now. Even without my help, you’re gorgeous. And tonight, we’ll be around the whole time. If you feel freaked out or you start to panic, we’ll go outside and get some fresh air. We don’t mind.”

“Exactly, we’re your friends. You know you can depend on us on occasion,” Allison joked and Y/N laughed, shaking her head timidly.

“Seriously, Y/N, we’re gonna have a ton of fun tonight. And if you need anything, whatsoever, we’re both here,” added Lydia.

Y/N’s heart swelled and she felt her eyes filling slowly. Blinking the impending tears away, she smiled widely, her radiant eyes following suite.

“Thank you, both of you. You’re the best.”

“Agreed. Now, that’s sorted. Are you comfortable with the outfit?” asked Lydia.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, analyzing every detail of her figure, taking in how “out there” the outfit was. After a few seconds, she nodded to herself and smiled.

“You know what? You only live once.”

Allison giggled and rested her arms on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Tonight is going to be amazing!”

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Lydia’s car pulled into the parking lot in front of the venue - a large concrete building comparable to a construction site - Y/N sent a text to her friend.

Y/N: we just got to danny’s party

Y/N: u guys here?

The girls looked up at the windows on the top level, the neon lights shining through catching their attention, the music already reaching their ears.

The group excitedly entered the building, Y/N’s heart thundering against her ribcage. Allison noticed the worried look on her friend’s face and she slipped her hand in hers, sending her a warm smile. Y/N took a deep breath, and the three beautiful girls went into the otherwise empty elevator. On the way up, Y/N’s phone vibrated against her palm and she looked down at the screen.

Stiles: we aren’t there yet

Stiles: Scott needed to go get something

Y/N’s heart couldn’t help but sink a little. She had hoped the boys were going to be there already, though why, she couldn’t say. Her phone interrupted her thoughts again.

Scott: by smth, Stiles means someone

Scott: and by someone, he means Kira

Scott: also we’re late because of the jeep

Scott: ;)

Y/N chuckled and texted him back, Lydia and Allison sharing an inquisitive look.

Y/N: figures :))

“Who is that?” asked Allison as the elevator doors opened.

Y/N winced slightly and turned to Allison.

“It’s the boys. Scott was just telling me they picked up Kira…”

“Oh.”

Lydia looked from Allison to Y/N, and back, the awkwardness beyond tangible.

“Are you okay?” asked Y/N, worried that the news had killed the mood.

“Honestly? I don’t love the idea of partying with my ex and his new girlfriend, but we broke up three months ago. We’ve both moved on. Besides, I really like Isaac. I’m not gonna let this ruin my evening,” Allison answered, a soft smile on her lips.

“Allison has Isaac, Scott has Kira, Stiles- well I don’t know about Stiles. That leaves you and me, Y/N. You can help me avoid Aiden tonight,” said Lydia, straightening her dress.

“Aiden, as in, the guy you hooked up with who just so happens to be the guy who invited you to this rave?”

“Precisely.” Lydia walked away hurriedly, and the girls laughed, entering the venue.

The grey concrete in the hall was uncharacteristically bland compared to the other-worldly burst of colours inside of the venue. Neon blue, pink, orange, yellow, and green exploding in every direction, paired with blaring purple lights attached to the concrete beams above the dancefloor where what looked like at least 70 people were jumping up and down to the beat of Losing It by FISHER. Strands of white UV tubes hanging from the ceiling all around the dancefloor lit up every white item of clothing in the room, turning the pure colour into a bright purple.

This giant nebula of chaos and colour made Y/N’s blood pump ten times faster throughout her body. That or the the bass blasting through the giant speakers by the DJ. Either way, the thrill of it made Y/N shiver, her whole body completely frozen in place. 

“This is crazy!” Allison gasped.

“Danny really went all out,” said Lydia, staring at the dancing figures in the center of the room.

Y/N’s phone buzzing woke her from her trance and she read the text.

Stiles: be there in about 20 minutes

Stiles: can’t wait to embarrass you on the dancefloor

Y/N: oof

“Let’s go get a drink,” Lydia urged, walking over to the large snack table with numerous bottles. Y/N read the labels and nodded, impressed by the wide range of drinks.

“Wow. Jack Daniels, vodka, a shitton of beer, wine coolers, rum, Jagermeister…Danny really did go all out.”

“Pass me a cup,” said Allison.

As the girls filled their glasses, Lydia eyed Y/N’s cup.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to start with a triple shot of vodka?”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” Y/N exclaimed, downing the drink before anyone could stop her and gasping as the strong liquid burned its way down her throat.

“Ohkay, take it easy,” said Allison, shooting a worried glance at Lydia.

“I’ve got it under control,” replied Y/N as she refilled her cup.

“Let’s go dance!”

Allison dragged the girls away from the table, walking over to the dancefloor. Y/N downed her second drink and nodded wearily.

“Yesss, let’s do this!”

The looming herd of party-goers, intimidating as it was, seemed a little less daunting now that Y/N was actually at the party.

“How bad could it be?” she thought to herself before treading through the mass, occasionally bumping against people energetically throwing their limbs around.

In the middle of the chaos, Allison stopped and started moving her hips in sync with the song, Lydia quickly following suit. Y/N bobbed her head along to the beat of the bass, her arms swinging awkwardly on either side of her body. Allison laughed and grabbed her friend’s arms forcing the movement to flow through Y/N’s limbs. Lydia busted up and down, moving her waist so naturally it seemed like she had been born for this very moment.

Closing her eyes, Y/N tried to focus on the music vibrating throughout her body, the memory of the colours surrounding her floating behind her eyelids. Allison sang along with the lyrics of the current song, shouting out the words as she moved from side to side. Y/N slowly started to lose herself to the music, letting go of her inhibitions, forgetting the world around her.

When the beat changed, her feet jumped up and down, as if they had a mind of their own. Her head felt heavy yet no thoughts crossed her mind. The music had gotten rid of all concentration, the only thing left was the bass flowing through her veins, making her entire body pulsate to the beat.

Beads of sweat trickled down Y/N’s neck as she kept dancing, her feet starting to ache with every jump. It had only been about fifteen minutes, but to the dancers, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. Finally, Lydia tapped on Y/N’s shoulder and shouted by her ear.

“Let’s do some body painting!”

Y/N nodded profusely, a wide smile on her lips.

“Ali went to dance with Isaac!” Lydia shouted as the pair pushed through the crowd.

“Where’s the paint?” shouted Y/N, trying to hear her own voice over the music and failing miserably.

“Over there!”

A tall blonde boy holding brushes with purple and pink tips smiled as the girls reached him, his charismatic grin turning Y/N’s cheeks bright red.

“What can I do for you ladies?” he asked, his pearly white teeth a bright purple as his grin widened.

“My friend over here needs a lot of paint. Emphasis on lot,”Lydia insisted.

Y/N shook her head, giggling stupidly.

“Not too much paint,” she said warmly.

The boy smiled with a wink.

“Let me worry about that.”

Y/N removed her mesh top, holding it with her right hand, patiently waiting for the boy to start painting across her chest and back. She shivered as she felt the cool wet tip of the brush meet her sweaty skin, sliding a few inches down, a thick stripe of paint spreading across her back. Y/N giggled at the cold feeling, the alcohol in her system reaching her head. She closed her eyes and bent her neck to the side as the boy continued his line up to her collarbone.

“What’s your name?” she heard him ask.

“What’s yours?” she chose to answer, smiling wickedly.

She heard him laugh as he started painting little dots up her back.

“Jeremy.”

“Nice to meet you, Jeremy.”

“You know most girls like a proper introduction before getting this close,” he said over the pulsating music, his breath fanning over Y/N’s neck as he painted small strokes down her shoulder. Y/N grinned mischievously.

“I’m not like most girls,” she teased as she turned to face him.

“No, I guess you’re not,” the boy replied, his eyes darting towards her lips and back up.

“I’m almost done with your body- I mean with the paint,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. Y/N giggled and stepped closer.

“I’m all yours…” she replied.

Jeremy’s deep blue eyes lingered on hers before focusing on her chest. Y/N thanked the universe that he wasn’t looking straight at her, otherwise he would have seen her cheeks fill with red for the second time. He delicately placed pink and orange dots up and down her chest, careful as to not stain her bra and she watched him, observing his concentration with admiration. Finally, he looked up, smiling at her.

“My masterpiece is done,” he declared, placing the paintbrush on the body paint stand.

Jeremy reached for a mirror and handed it to her. She admired the strands and dots painted across her body in a chaotic waltz, the hot purple and pink clashing against her skin. Looking up at him, she grinned widely.

“You’re talented,” she said.

“It’s easier when you have such a good canvas to work on…” he replied, sending her a look hot enough to melt her.

Momentarily remembering the outside world, she looked around and quickly realized Lydia wasn’t there anymore, probably off dancing or looking for Allison. Y/N turned back to Jeremy.

“I’m sorry, I should probably go check on my friends…” she said, biting her lip as she slipped her mesh shirt back on.

“Of course. Maybe later, we’ll bump into each other on the dance floor?” he replied, a nervous smile etched on his lips.

“Yeah, maybe.”

Y/N winked at him and walked away, trying her best to keep her cool.

“Well that was something.” She thought to herself, a wide grin planted on her face.

Looking around, she couldn’t find either of her friends, nor could she find Isaac. Slightly disappointed, Y/N walked over to the table and poured some vodka in an unused cup before knocking her head back, letting the burning liquid run down her throat.

She eyed the dancefloor and thought back on her previous conversation with Jeremy. She was beyond nervous. She’d never actually kissed a boy before. The opportunity just hadn’t ever presented itself. But now that she was here, feeling tipsy as ever, a few feet away from the cutest boy at the party, she couldn’t help but think, why not?

Wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt and downing her fourth - albeit, strong - drink of the night, she nodded to herself and walked over to the dancefloor.

As Five Hours blasted through the speakers, Y/N pushed her way through the sweaty crowd once again, making her way to the center of the dancefloor. Ignoring the world surrounding her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the music, feeling every beat of the song pulsate throughout her entire body.

Colours, flashing lights, the feeling of people’s skin against hers, her head spinning and swaying in every direction, it made her feel alive. As the last drop of the song reached its peak, Y/N jumped with the crowd, knocking her body against complete strangers, feeling the warm and sticky air fill her lungs with every breath.

The song Too Much by Curbi started to play and Y/N felt someone’s body against hers. Closing her eyes, she turned around and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She sighed lightly, enjoying the feeling of her skin against the boy’s. His fingers treaded down her back, firmly settling just above her ass, holding her steady in a sea of bustling bodies.

She danced against him, turning around again, her back facing his front. Moving against his body, she felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her in. His hot breath fanned over her neck and she moaned slightly, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

Suddenly, time seemed to stand still when his lips lightly touched her warm skin. Y/N inhaled sharply, her eyes still shut. The only thing she could hear now was the sound of her heartbeat furiously thundering against her ribcage. Slowly caressing the boy’s arm, she allowed further access to her neckline, moaning loudly as she felt his feverish lips plant warm kisses on her neck, inching higher and higher. Y/N’s hands reached for his and she tugged them closer to her body, her hips still moving against him. His lips danced furiously across her neck, leaving dangerously beautiful marks on her skin.

The music seemed only to heighten her senses. Her legs almost gave out when she heard the boy groan lightly against her ear, her response, a small whine at the loss of contact with his lips. She turned around and tried to open her eyes, the bright lights bursting through the gap in her eyelids. Squinting at his face, trying as hard as possible not to lose herself to the music again, Y/N’s eyes caught a glimpse of the boy’s face.

Bright pink dashes stained his cupid’s bow and the right corner of his bottom lip, the paint from her neck helpless in the face of a passion like this one. Y/N’s eyes scanned the rest of his face and widened slightly when they met amber irises, warm and inviting and so familiar. Her fingers threaded through his damp dark brown hair, her brain trying to comprehend what was about to happen.

His chocolatey eyes looked deep into hers and he licked his lips slowly, the world around them fading. Y/N felt her vision blur as she inched closer to him, her nose picking up the scent of old leather and pine trees and rain. His lips lingered over hers and she felt a chill as her name echoed through the air.

“Y/N…”.

Their lips connected in a frenzied blur, sending sparks of pleasure throughout Y/N’s entire body and the chaos surrounding the pair completely swallowed them. His teeth slightly bit her bottom lip and she deepened the kiss, ardently giving in to his deliciously demanding mouth. Unable to control her body, she steadied herself against him, tugging at his shirt with one hand, the other cupping his face as he sucked on her delectable lips.

Their bodies so unbelievably close disappeared in the crowd of dancers, the whole world somehow a thousand miles away.

Time, a forgotten concept.

A/N: I seriously hope u enjoyed this!! if u did please reblog :)) (would be super helpful especially with tumblr acting up w the tags and all that) <3 part 2 coming soon!!

if you would like to be added to this series’ taglist, please send me an ask :)

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[smutsonian]

Memoir - What You Don’t Know Series (2/6)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: remembering your past

Warning/s: flashbacks, angst, deaths, car crash, drunk driving, not proofread

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: i added a character. im thinking of timothee chalamet as Elio. If you’ve watched Call me by your name, elio aint that young here. Y/N and Elio is in their 20s :3 this chapter is focused on what happened to y/n before she started actin up

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For you, home doesn’t mean a house that you lived in so you can sleep, eat, shower, and whatnot. You always believed that a home was being with someone you love and loves you back. A home is with the person or people that you feel most safe and comfortable with. You only had two people for that matter. It used to be only one person but Steve happened. Home for you was with your father or with Steve. It doesn’t make any sense now because one is dead and one turned out to be a major asshole. 

Maybe that’s why you’re currently sitting on your father’s grave. Maybe that’s why you left New York so you can grieve to your father’s grave. Doesn’t matter if he’s dead. He’s always been there for you and you would never fail to believe that he’ll still be there for you even if he’s dead. 

You have always been a daddy’s girl. Your mother was the one who works for the family while your father is a house husband. The two of you were inseparable, always up to no good and your mother would always chastise the both of you but your father would calm her down and the three of you would just spend the time with each other. It was a picture-perfect family… Until it was not. A car accident. A fucking drunk driver. A guy stupid enough to drive a fucking car under the influence of alcohol. Your father was going to pick you up from a skating session at the ice rink but he never made it. The drunk bastard was going so fucking fast that the impact killed your father in an instant. Just like that. Just one blink and your father’s life is taken away from him. 

Your father has always been your rock but when he died, your life went to shit. Your relationship with your mom wasn’t there if your father isn’t in the picture. The two of you would only have the chance to interact because of the picnics that your father would prepare whenever your mom gets a day off from the hospital. Being a doctor takes a ton of your time, you guessed. But that’s it. You never had the chance to have a one on one with her until your father died. It didn’t end well...

[Flashback]

I can’t believe this. He’s dead. He’s really dead. Why? Why?!

“You need to save him!” you yelled at your mom but she only shook her head, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“Y/N… He’s gone. I did my best. I want him alive as much as you do but life can be full of surprises. May it be a good one or a bad one.” She makes a move to embrace me but I slap her hands away, still not believing anything of this. Not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m one of your patients.” You hissed at her. Why isn’t she hurting like you were? Did she not care for him at all?

“Don’t talk to me like that, young lady. I’m still your mother-”

“Are you? Are you really? You never acted like one-” You couldn’t finish your sentence because of a stinging pain you felt on your right cheek. She just slapped you... 

“You don’t get to tell me that.” Her voice was raising and you could see her face contorting into an angry one.

“You don’t get to act like you're the only one here who’s affected by his death. He’s my fucking husband, for fuck’s sake. I’ve been with him longer than you have and you… You just have to fucking take those shitty ice skating classes and for what? I don’t see why he’s so keen on supporting you with that. Look what it got him. He’s fucking dead because of you and your stupid classes.” Her voice was laced with so much distaste that you almost flinched at it. She was seething and it was all directed towards you. Your mother being disgusted by you wasn’t what broke you but her words did. The idea, no. The fact that you’re the reason for your father’s death is what broke you.

You eyed your mother with surprised and guilty eyes and made a step back away from her, shaking your head as the tears escaped your eyes. Your mother’s face morphed into a guilty one and she went to reach for you but you stepped further away.

“No.” You hissed.

“Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t fucking come near me ever again. I fucking hate you!” And with that, you run out of the hospital. Leaving your parents without looking back. 

[End of the flashback]

Looking back at it now, you knew that you acted a bit out of hand and were being really selfish with your mother. You weren’t the only one who lost a family. Yeah, you lost your father but she lost her husband. She lost the guy that he fell in love with. They’ve been together for a long time and it must really suck to lose your lover. But you were a kid who’s mourning her father’s death and she definitely shouldn’t have put the blame on you. It fucked with your brain a lot. Like a lot. Having your mother tell you that you’re the reason for your father’s death deals great damage to a person. Especially a teenager.

Having your father die when you’re young also deals damage to you. You don’t know if it was your father’s death that made you crave older men’s approval or something but you know that his death gave you some kind of daddy issues. Putting yourself in situations with older men because of it, making you even more fucked up. 

Craving their approval is unhealthy and can be dangerous if you find yourself with someone who’s manipulative because they can use that to take you for granted. It doesn’t really matter anymore because every single one you dated turned out to be the same type of people. Everyone used you and threw you out after they had their fill. Every single one of them. You thought Steve would be different but that one stung like a bitch. The way he treated you like a child… Those hurtful words that he used… Maybe he’s right. If it keeps happening to you, maybe the problem is you.

Maybe you’re still that kid that liked seeing his father proud of her and the moment that you failed to do that anymore because he died… Maybe you’re just stuck at that. You’re so hung up on making your father proud that you jumped on the chance of making every single older man proud of you. Nevermind them taking you for granted. You’re too blinded by your determination to fill that empty hole inside your heart to even notice.

“Hey, graveyard neighbor!” 

Too occupied with your own thoughts, you don’t see the guy from beside your father’s grave until he calls out to you. You turned to see a young man sitting just a few feet away from you, one hand waving at you while the other was supporting his weight as he leaned back. Loose curls falling down his forehead as he smiled and nodded at you.

“I’ve never seen you around here. Though, I only ever started going here last month…” he mumbles, scratching his chin as he seems to be deep in thought.

“Is that your father?” He points towards your father’s headstone. You looked at him with a questioning look before nodding, turning your head to run your eyes over the stone. You never really got the chance to go to his funeral or to visit his grave because you ran away from your mother. You were too proud to be caught running back to her so you didn’t risk visiting your father. Come to think of it now, you’ve been really immature. You still are… According to Steve, you’re no woman. You’re just a little girl with a lot of issues.

You felt something touch your side and you were once again pulled out of your thoughts by the guy who found himself sitting beside you.

“According to your face, he seemed like a great guy.” He gives you a playful smile that you return. “He is… He was. He really was.” You nodded before hugging your knees and resting your chin on it.

“Your father?” Your voice was quiet as you pointed towards the headstone that was beside your father’s.

He nodded before standing up and slapping his father’s headstone. “Yep. The old man died last month. I always warned him about eating too much sugar but the old man never listened. Always saying shit about living what’s left of his life freely.” He chuckled before rubbing his palms on his jeans and offering you a hand.

“I’m Elio” 

You took his hands and shook it before standing up. “Y/N.” You give him a polite smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. So, how come I’ve never seen you here before?” He asked with a tilt of the head and a teasing smile. 

“I’m from New York. Just visiting here for some time.” You shrugged. How long were you even planning on staying here? You don’t really have a place here. And you for sure don’t want to see your mother. Not yet, at least.

“New York, huh? I have a small job there but I’ll be staying here for some time too. Gotta mourn my pop’s death with my ma.” He chuckles at his own words before shaking his head and poking his forehead slightly and smiling wildly at you.

“How do you feel about coffee? My treat.” He grins.

Elio seems like a fun guy to hang around with and he’s been nothing but nice. He seems about someone your age too so there’s no issue there… It can be a good distraction from real life. Having a friend sounds really nice right now and Elio has one of the friendliest smiles that you can’t help but agree to his offer to get some coffee.

Steve knew he messed up. He was so scared that you would actually leave him for real but the moment he stepped foot on your shared apartment, he felt somewhat relieved. All your things were still there. He knew you didn’t have a lot so he’s confident that you would come back. You didn’t have anyone else. He knows that you need him. He knows how you’re codependent to him. As selfish as it sounds, he’s thankful for that side of you. He’s thankful that you’re somehow messed up like that because that assures him that you’ll never leave his side. No matter how bad your fight was. You’ll come back to him. You always will.

Seconds. Hours. Days. Weeks have passed but you’re still nowhere to be found. You still haven’t come home to Steve and he’s starting to think that he may actually have done it. Where would you even go without him? Have you found another old man to cling onto? Steve knows he has no right to be mad. It’s his fault. He’s so used to being the righteous Captain America that he couldn’t believe the fact that he would be able to make a mistake. He couldn’t believe that he made a mistake with you. He just wanted to help you and be there for you but he failed. His confidence is gone and the realization hits him. You were gone and you might actually not come back. 

And it’s all his fault.

[anythingandeverything1d]

Cheating

You walked in the front door, tripping over shoes and silently cursing. Harry always left his shoes right in the door for you to trip on. You reached down to pick them up but were surprised when you noticed they were a pair of heels, and not your pair of heels. You set the bag of food down on the counter before walking into the bedroom, shoes in hand. “Harry who’s shoes are-” your voice stopped. Harry looked up, panicked, and guilty. The girl in your bed rolled off the side, pulling her pants up and throwing her shirt on. You dropped the shoes and stared. She grabbed them and ran out the front door while Harry got up, walking towards you with his arms in the air.

“(y/n) wait, just please..I can explain.” You didn't say anything, you looked at the red hickey plastered on his neck and turned around walking out. “Baby wait.” He grabbed your wrist and you smacked him across the cheek, tears falling from your eyes.

“Get out. GET OUT HARRY!” you screamed. He stood in front of you shocked. You pushed your hands into his chest. “Harry get out.” You pushed him towards the door.

“Baby-”

“Dont do that. Don't you dare call me baby.”

“(y/n)...” You looked at him, tears falling down your cheeks. 

“You need to leave Harry.” You grabbed his keys off the counter and threw them at him. “I don't care where you go but it needs to be somewhere far away from here.” You turned away from him, walking into the bedroom and locking the door. You collapsed against the door, holding back your sobs in until you heard the front door close. You got up and reached for the bed, freezing when you saw her bra laying in the sheets. You knew you couldn't stay here, you knew thinking about what just happened in YOUR bed would actually make you sick. You also knew that driving was not an option seeing as the tears were clouding your vision and you could barely breathe between the sobs escaping your mouth. You grabbed your phone. There was only one person who lived close enough and wouldn't judge the situation. “Gemma..” you cried into the phone.

“Oh god. What did the idiot do now?”

“Can you come get me? I just don't think I can stay here...”

“Say no more sister, I’ll be there soon.” You quickly threw some clothes into a bag, grabbed your toothbrush, phone charger, and hairbrush. Gemma pulled up, walked in and hugged you. She grabbed your bag and carried it to the car as you locked the door behind you. Thankfully Gemma didn't ask too many questions, she made you a cup of tea and wrapped a blanket around your shoulders. You quietly thanked her and sipped the tea, trying not to think about what had happened. She sat across from you and waited for your breathing to return to normal before talking. “So what do I need to kill Harry for?”

You took a shaky breath, tears returning to your eyes. “He- he” you were crying again and Gemma scooted closer placing her hand on yours. “There was another girl-”

“You don't have to talk about it (y/n)...” Gemma softly smiled at you. “Not until you're ready.. and I won't mention to Harry that youre here or that I know what happened. Stay as long as you need. I really mean it when I say that, you are my sister whether youre with Harry or not.” That made you cry more. You hugged her tightly and smiled.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too girl. Forget my brother, he's an asshole anyway.” You laughed and she smiled. “You can have the guest room, its the door on the left. Make yourself at home, seriously.”

You told her you would as she walked away answering her phone that had been ringing. You grabbed your bag off the floor and dropped it on the bed in the room. You were exhausted at this point, your eyes were so puffy from crying they felt as if they weren't able to stay open. Your throat hurt, your nose was so stuffy you couldn't breathe, and you had a killer headache. You sat on the edge of the bed, tossing your phone on the floor. Harry and texted and called more times than you could count. The door cracked open and you looked up confused, but Olivia ran in jumping on the bed and laying on your lap. Olivia was Gemma’s cat. You and Harry had watched her a few weeks ago when Gemma went out of town, and clearly she remembered you. You scratched her ears before getting up, changing into pjs, and climbing under the covers. Olivia rejoined you, purring slightly as she snuggled with you. You were grateful for the distraction, the soft purr, and the feeling of something snuggled next to you. You didn’t do well sleeping apart from Harry, in fact when he wasnt with you, you barely slept at all. Having Olivia was helping a little though, you were able to fall into a distracted and restless sleep. 

When you woke up the next morning, you felt worse than you had the night before. You felt hungover even though you hadn't had a sip of alcohol. You stumbled into the kitchen where you found Gemma eating a bowl of cereal and scrolling through her phone. “Morning.” you mumbled grabbing a bowl for yourself.

“You look like shit dude.” she said looking up from her phone.

“Well I’m glad because that pretty much how I feel.”

She frowned and held up her phone. “This might cheer you up..” You looked at the article of Harry. He was in his boxers standing on the street, tears streaking down his face, and getting into a car. You just shrugged and sat down. “Come on (y/n) perk up we are doing something fun today.”

“We are?”

“Yes. We are not letting you sulk around the house questioning my brothers dumb life decisions. We are going shopping.”

“In public?”

“Well that's where shops are so yes.”

“I don't think I’m ready.”

“Oh I know you aren't ready. Thats why we are going. Youre not about to feel sorry for yourself all day. Nope. You are going to get Harry off your mind, which is why we will no longer be talking about him, reading about, or thinking about him okay?”

You ate another bite of cereal and nodded. “Fine.” you grudgingly said. She grinned. 

“Good, go get dressed then and wear something cute. You can borrow clothes if you need too.” You finished off your bowl and jumped into the shower. You took a nice long shower, soaking in the hot water and letting your mind relax. You quickly got dressed, applied some makeup and fixed your hair. Gemma was waiting for you in the living room and she smiled when you walked in. “Now that is what I’m talking about. You look like a person!” You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Whatever.”

“No whatevers. Now, hand me your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Harry has been calling and texting you all morning and all night. Today is a no Harry day. Your phone can stay here.”

“But-”

“(y/n) youre never going to focus on shopping with him calling and texting. Take a break from the media, the rumors, the-”

“The rumors? There are rumors about this now?”

“Technically they are the truth but obviously no one has confirmed it which is why they are rumors still. But anyways everyone is on your side of the argument.” She shook her head “no no, this is a no Harry kind of day. We are not talking about this right now. Now leave the phone.” You followed her instructions, a girls only day is what you needed and you were definitely not ready to think about or talk about Harry. You tossed the phone into the couch and followed her out the door.

You and Gemma spent all day shopping and were finishing the day off with dinner. You had a really great day. Your mind hadn't wandered to Harry once and you hadn't even had the urge to cry once either. It was a winning day. Gemma had ordered you a bottle of wine and the two of you were going to town, laughing and singing at the table. It really was the perfect end to a perfect day. Until in walked Harry’s hoe. You wouldve recognized her anywhere, the fake eyelashes, the dead dying hair, the slutty composure. You stopped laughing and frowned. Gemma followed your gaze and shook her head. “Is that her?”

“Yeah.”

“What a prick. She's not even cute.”

“Im cute, she's ugly, and yet she still slept with Harry.”

“Harry’s a real disappointment. We should talk to her.”

“What? No.”

“Come on (y/n). Go tell her off.”

You stood up. “Youre right. She ruined everything.”

“There ya go.” You took a step forward, your breath catching in your throat. Tears falling down your cheeks. You turned and sat back down. “Im proud of you.”

“Its not her fault. Its Harry’s.”

“Damn right it is.”

“Im not ready to talk to him Gem”

“You don't have to..you need to heal a little before you talk to him. Otherwise youre just going to cry when you see him.”

“Ugh...give me the bottle.” you said reaching your hand out. It was safe to say that you and Gemma were wine drunk by the end of the night. You had finished almost 3 bottles of wine by the time dessert came out and you were having a great time. Gemma had called an uber and the two of you could barely control your laughter at the fact you were wine wasted. When you got home, the two of you were stumbling up the stairs together, leaning on each other and laughing at each others laugh. You opened the front door stepped in and smiled at Olivia. “Olivia!” you shouted through a laugh, Gemma following suit.

“(y/n)..” Harry’s voice whispered. You and Gemma stopped laughing. Harry stepped out from the kitchen, he looked terrible at least from what you could tell. He looked a little blurry, but his face was very red. Gemma stepped forward.

“Harry..you need to go.”

“No what I need is to talk to my girlfriend.”

You started laughing again, earning a confused look from Gemma and Harry. “Girlfriend? Is that what you think we are?”

“Baby..”

“I’m not that dumb. I wouldn't date someone who cheated on me.”

Gemma seemed to have sobered up real quick. She grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him towards the door. “Harry you need to leave.”

“Yeah.” you said stumbling forward. “Leave.”

“Are you drunk?” Harry asked leaning in closer to you.

“I’m wine wasted.” you laughed looking at Gemma who smiled.

“You like rarely even drink though.”

“Clearly not, she had almost 2 bottles at dinner.”

“2 bottles?” Harry look concerned.

“You've driven the girl to drink.”

“(y/n)” Harry’s tone had changed. He seemed to be very concerned.

Youre expression changed. You looked at him closer, you remembered the previous night. Tears formed in your eyes, sobs starting to echo through your chest. Gemma pushed Harry towards the door again, coming to your side. “Harry go. Cant you see you being here is upsetting her.”

“I just want to talk.”

“You can't talk your way out of this one little brother. She needs time.” You dropped to your knees, looking up at him. You were crying again, you couldn't tell if it was because you were drunk or because it had clicked again that Harry had cheated on you, and that he wasnt even yours anymore. Harry watched with a pained expression on his face. “Harry youre upsetting her, just please leave. We were having a great time until you showed up.”

“A great time?” Harry asked turning to her. “You got my girlfriend wasted Gemma.”

“She’s not your girlfriend Harry. You ruined this one. Im trying to fix it, to fix her. But you had to go and screw it up like always.” That made you cry harder. You didn't want them to fight just because of you.

Harry turned and stormed out not saying anything and Gemma kneeled at your side. “Its okay...shhh (y/n) breathe.” You tried breathing but were struggling. Gemma pulled you to your feet and escorted you to your room. She set pjs out and told you change while she was getting some tea. A few minutes later she returned, placing a cup of tea on the bedside table. You had changed and were sitting with your knees to your chest in bed, tears still falling. She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I’m sorry (y/n)...I really didn't think he would shoe up.”

“Its not your fault. He probably tracked my phone and anyways it was bound to happen eventually.”

“It shouldn't have happened tonight. You said you weren't ready.”

“I don't know I ever will be.” Gemma looked at you surprised. “I love him Gemma. I love him more than I love anything else. But he broke the one promise he swore on. He broke my trust. He killed everything we had. I don't know how to forgive that..”

“You just have to give it time. Time will make it hurt less.” You nodded and yawned. Gemma yawned in response, standing up and saying goodnight. For the first time ever, you picked up your phone scrolling through his texts, listening to his voicemails, reading tweets and catching up. Turns out Harry had made a statement. He had admitted the whole truth to his millions of followers on twitter. Management probably loved that, you thought. He had tagged you in apology tweets, photos, and then of course fan accounts had stepped in. There was a hashtag associated with everything too. Of course, the thing that got you was his last voicemail. He was barely speaking clearly, tears clouding his voice. You could hear the snot in his voice. 

“(y/n)..I’m so sorry. I can't- I can't even apologize enough but baby I love you so much. That was a mistake, a drunken mistake. I broke your trust, I hurt you, but (y/n)...I can't live without you. I don't think I can go on without you. I-I don't know what I need to do to help you forgive me...I don't know if you ever will but baby I won't live in this world without you. I know what I did was screwed up. I know I’m a terrible person. I deserve to put in hell for what I did but just tell me-just tell me theres hope. That theres hope one day I’ll have you back..that one day you could love me again.”

You couldn't breathe. The pain in his voice killed you. You missed him, you wanted to comfort him, and yet you also wanted to kill him for what he did. Your phone buzzed again and you looked down reading the text from Harry. *Just know that I will NEVER stop loving you baby, you will always be my person. Sleep tight, don't let the monsters bite.* You dropped the phone and groaned. Of course he had to tuck you in..he had to be cute. You wiped the tears from your eyes, washed your face, brushed your teeth, of course you spilled water all down the front of your shirt so you also searched for pjs. You couldn't find any. You rummaged through the dresser and came across a large white tshirt. When you unfold it the familiar font caught your eye. It was Harry’s tshirt. It had the heart with his name inside, the album cover on the edge and an arrow going through the heart. You put the shirt to your nose, breathing in his smell. You quickly threw the shirt on, climbing in bed, and falling into a peaceful sleep, Harry on your mind.

---

Let me know what you think :)

Cheated (part 2)

Message me requests! And as always thanks for being awesome with all the support and love! You guys are the best! xoxo

[ruluxe]

haizaki and himuro for the ask! <3

Haizaki

Sexuality Headcanon: closeted bisexual w/deep internalized biphobia

Gender Headcanon: cis

A ship I have with said character: Romantically: nijihai (I would like to see it), Sexually: kihai (hatefucking/enemies to enemies - at the very most rivals - ftw)

A BROTP I have with said character: nijimura, haimomo (Nijimura especially; haimomo is like crackship broship bc she has her hands full with aomine; but given how much she loves all the miragen, I definitely could see her helping him out a lot)

A NOTP I have with said character: aohai, haimomo, romantic kihai (not entirely popular ships, but especially kise and haizaki romantically just doesn't work for me)

A random headcanon: I have a few, but first one is that I always like to think he had a tough home life (doesn't excuse his shitty behavior) and that because he grew up with only a mother and brother (dad was an abusive drunk to all of them but worse to mom, she took it out on the kids but then he either left, or was arrested). So his older brother had to take on the role of 'man of the house'. They both put a lot of pressure on haizaki to do the same, constantly being compared to his older brother, 'why can't you be more like him', 'why can't you be a man', 'no one is going to want you' (which after his father leaving, this hits him harder once Akashi kicks him out) (he just really needed to feel wanted instead of a meal ticket) and so he rebelled, felt like he was owed everything, didn't care about anything. he has daddy issues too. anyway.

I also like to think that Haizaki's hate for Kise also comes from not only wanting to be him/have what he has, but also wanting him. Fucked with his head a lot and made him hate a lot once he realized it and it just made things worse for everyone because he's incapable of sorting through his own shit without violence bc that's all he's known.

General Opinion over said character: I think given more time, Haizaki could have definitely come around to becoming a better person. given the right guidance, he could learn some shit. there are moments where he has almost this like.. sort of moment of regret or epiphany after throwing out his shoes, or after aomine hits him (momoi commenting that he was probably glad aomine stopped him etc). anyway, i felt like yes, he was a shitty person but also could have had some tiny redeemable moment or even like. showing that he's been practicing toward the end of extra game because I really don't believe he hates basketball as much as he says he does

Himuro

Sexuality Headcanon: possibly pansexual, however keeps it to himself so no one really knows... but im leaning toward aroace at this present time

Gender Headcanon: cis or trans

A ship I have with said character: although i used to ship him with murasakibara, I don't anymore and presently have no ships for him

A BROTP I have with said character: murahimu, nijihimu

A NOTP I have with said character: himualex, kagahimu in any aspect. i see them remaining rivals, and because of his penchant for envy and jealousy, however quickly he can get over it, i just don't think he's a good fit for kagami anymore, their relationship i feel has run its course

A random headcanon: much like kagami himuro's parents were the reason why he finds himself outside and alone at such a young age, eventually picking up bball as a way to make friends. because they end up getting a divorce in the future, i feel that himuro had experienced their marriage falling apart long before that, and was often thrown in the middle of it, used as an object to bargain or hurt with. this is why he's somewhat quiet and withdrawn, why he gets jealous so easily. because he can't stand the fighting or feeling like it's his fault, he spends as much time outside as he can. he did cherish his friendship with kagami very much, but was unable to recognize that kagami was afraid of losing him as a brother/friend because himuro just wasn't used to someone putting him first, or taking him and his feelings into consideration, and it made him angry because it made him feel like his parents made him feel. this is why he seems so overly dramatic during their fight, not to mention the feelings of envy and jealousy over kagami becoming friends with his other friends, becoming better at the sport he taught him, having to share alex's attention etc.

General Opinion over said character: well. im probably gonna make some ppl angry but i really don't like himuro, which is so stupid I know, because I like characters that are actual trash. I don't know what it is, but he's just always given me bad vibes; tho the more I dwell on it it's probably because he/kagahimu's friendship reminds me of someone/our friendship that soured for similar reasons (a little more depth and longer friendship but that's another story). there aren't many characters in knb that i dislike (some I'm indifferent to) but himuro is probably the one character that comes closest to an actual dislike rather than an indifference. sorry :')

Send me some characters!