#also this is what i have been up to for the last 2 days

[velvetwyrme]

aHhh okay so the discussions of Titan!Megatron on @callsign-relic's blog have fully. FULLY taken over my brain and ive been drawing stuff for it for like the last few days nonstop

the tl;dr of this is AU is pretty much "what if Megatron got turned into a titan/cityformer as a form of penance/imprisonment and now roams the empty wasteland of Cybertron forever" plus "IDW Megatron has really fucked up internals so... what if that, but as a City?"

and of course since he's a Titan, that also means he has a cityspeaker... or three. One per sub-AU thing. Theres 3 options. 3 flavours of AU.

i have so much art to make. but in the meantime, for more info! check out the #titan au tag on Relic's blog :]!! (also uhh potential ns//fw warning for the link shfjbdkd)

Hi. My battery is running out once again so design and art notes get chucked here instead of an image.

The cuffs and collar are hardwired into Megatron, so I made the lights the same colour as his biolights!

I imagine that on the tops of his shoulders there are solar panels, even if you can't see them here lol.

I really wanted to keep the swirly bits on Megatron's chest from IDW

Other art notes:

The second picture with the seekers is (loosely) inspired by a discussion about whether or not Megatron gets visitors or not. I thought about who would visit him and well... I think this is as close as Starscream realistically gets to visiting him.

Extra detail about that piece is that Thundercracker and Skywarp are keeping watch from above! Also drawing Megatron took me like 8 hours because I was struggling with his legs really badly kshffkbfkdsbdk,, the background went much faster, funnily enough.

Optimus specifically isn't wearing his Autobot badge any more.

This isn't relevant in this series of images, but Ultra Magnus's eye markings are only on the Magnus armour. His other two forms do not have them :] (... until he begins to discard the armour, that is.)

Megatron is roughly 3200m/2 miles tall. Technically he could have clouds around his knees, but I thought this looked a little bit cooler lol.

Also, height chart! Him big. I didn't even attempt to put a human for scale because that'd be. near impossible with this scale.

[lovscb97]

bang chan recs (18+)

key: !!! = personal favourite, s = smut, f = fluff, a = angst

add. notes: hai :3 i know i said i would make a skz recs list but the minute i scrolled thru my likes n started saving from chan onwards, i realised i had Too many recommended fics for him (this list is like 40 fics/drabbles long....) so i decided to just make member separate posts instead!!! i tried not to have repeats of authors to give u guys a broader scope to choose from n also sorry in advance that i yapped so much abt them it's just like . these r my all time fav authors so it's expected. anyways i hope u guys love these works as much as i do bcs they r from some of my absolute fav creators n plz give them lots of love n always make sure to appreciate these ppl <3

. . .

hopelessly devoted to you — @changbunnies (!!!, s, a?)

this was literally a 11/10 fic like i am not even joking rn. i luv greaser chan n even tho he messed up, the way he makes it up to mc is so so soooo sweet. the fact that he's so gone n pussydrunk while eating her out, the sweetness in how he holds her n fucks her is all too mindnumbing n i hope u continue writing bcs u r amazing at it!! i will always come back 2 this when i need a pick me up fr

2. bad idea — @hyunsvngs (!!!, s)

JUNOOOOO my lovely baby.... i adore u n all ur work always but this fic. This Fic. it changed the trajectory of my life. like not even kidding but i was a different person when i started reading this n when i finished it i was Changed. life is worth living now, the grass is greener n the birds always sing 2 me which i firmly believe is bcs of u n this beautiful yummy fic. i fucking LOVE stepdad chan sm like there's smth so gross n nasty abt fucking ur mom's bf n even tho mc is a menace, i still loved it. never stop doing what u do!!!

3. 1095 days — @luvyeni (s)

EX INMATE CHAN RAHHHHH!! i have akshewally been following ur work for so long n i LOVE!! the way u write :3 thank u for always churning out ur work so fast n being so good at what u do. im obv a sucker for daddy kink considering i eat it up every time n it's so fucking good i love how chan cares for mc n the way he gives it to her once he's back. mark my words i will EAT this man up n this fic whenever i stumble across it

4. milk and honey — @straykeedz (s, f, a?)

user straykeedz u have to stop... ur work too addicting n perfect.. ur depiction of chan too real n crazy (/pos)... they're gonna get u... but seriously i love bffs2lovers so bad n the way u always characterise chan n make him call mc so many cute pet names melts my heart :( i've also been following U for a long time n even tho everything u write is so so soooo good, this has to be one of my faves alongside ur inexperienced chan fic. i hope u don't pressure urself too much to update n jus do what u have to do :D

5. my wife — @chrizzztopherbang (s, f)

ngl i Think this is my first fic from u cus i followed u bcs of it n that's a given honestly cus newly turned husband chan?? eating his wife out metres away from his friends n family on the other side of the door n fucking her within an inch of her life right after they're pronounced husband n wife?? i love it i loved their bickering over who's a pervert n i just love the idea of mc finally calling the love of her life hers forever. i hope they r always happy alongside u

6. sweet nothing — @frenchkisstheabyss (!!!, s, f, a)

this fic actually changed me as a person too not even kidding. i EAT UP exes to lovers n the portrayal of it was so good here bcs there's so much unspoken tension between the two n then chan begging mc to not leave again n her promising she won't bcs all she wants to do is be his at last?? AWOOGAAAAA i need him so bad it's jinja michin (i am so cringe sorry..) ANYWAYS!! i hope u know tattoo artist + ex bangchan is a crazy combo n that the makeup sex was HOT HOT HOT!!! plz keep writing i adore u <3

7. pick you up — @moonchild9350 (!!!, s)

see idk if this is tmi but sex where ure being picked up n fucked is downright nasty in the best possible way n i fear i need to get railed like that by chan so u writing abt is literally u making my fantasies come true. this fic was a delicious mix of cute w chan telling mc he only works out so he can pick her up (based off of his bbl texts obv) n hot w him Actually fucking her within an inch of her life. i love all ur work tee bee eich so keep doing what ur doing!!!

8. spring has sprung — @cbini (!!!, f, s)

miss ems where do i even begin with u.. (u probably Do Not Know me but i know u smirk emoji. soz that was weird erm but ya i am the binnie anon who said u deserve changbin LOLZ) this fic was the perfect mix of cuteness w raw passionate fucking i love the idea of chan getting hard bcs ur dressed so preciously in a pretty dress i think it's rooted somewhere in his slight corruption kink which comes out def when u r all dolled up for him. anyways u never miss n i hope u know that <3

9. walking in on rooomate!chan / pt. 2 — @kacciidubs (!!!, s, f)

going 2 be very honest here i do not even remember what happened in part 1 bcs part 2 of this roommate chan fic actually blew my mind away like Seriously user kacciidubs u r insane!!! all ur work never misses n i am always so eager whenever u post bcs i've been following u n loving everything u put out for so long. ofc ur chan work is my favourite as u can tell but this fic... this fic was crazy the switch between daddy n sir oh my god what if i cream my pants rn. plz never stop writing <3

10. last nerve / pt. 2 — @cb97percent (!!!, s)

user cb97percent let me just preface this by saying whatever u write is INSANE. like i already knew u were a great writer but this fic? changed me as a person not even joking rn. the way mc n chan banter n how chan's an asshole who is pissed off how he can't get it up anymore unless he fucks mc is so funny n how the raw passion between them results in the best sex Ever. n ofc the ending w minho took me out n Yea i just . i have no words plz never stop writing to u as well

11. hush — @petrichor-han (s)

sucker for exhibitionism n sucker for chan so what better way to comemorate this occasion than by reading abt it? this entire scenario was so hot like honestly i can totally imagine chan's bitchass doing this bcs he's so cheeky in nature he would lose himself from the thrill of almost getting caught. u r amazing as always thank u for churning out so much content for kinktober may god or whoever u believe in bless u with eternal inspiration

12. daddy!chan helping you shave — @hyunjins-orange-slice-too (!!!, s, f)

i sent u an ask already talking abt how much i love u n everything u write but THIS. this made me weak in the knees bcs i have imagined this very scenario so many times if im being brutally honest. there's smth so sweet n domestic abt the act of helping ur partner shave n with daddy chan in the mix? kill me now plz. the way he asks if he can play w mc once he's done n how he sternly instructs her to be safe like omgkjdfjhjdfgjhhjg need him in ways that give the pits of hell a run for its money w how hot n nasty im abt to be fr

13. one last time — @baby-yongbok (!!!, s, a?)

like i said, i am a sucker for the exes to lovers pipeline alongside husband chan so while this isn't Either of those things entirely it still scratches the itch in my brain very very well. the way mc n chan exchange snarky remarks n how chan only says he's satisfied once they're done fucking OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDD... need this man carnally like i would dump him just so he can fuck me the way he fucked mc in this fr (that is a lie we r locked in 4 life). u r brilliant as always i always look forward to ur work so next time u r questioning if this is worth it just know lovscb97 on tumblr has ur back fr

14. chan ask drabble #1 — @skzms (s)

maymay.. my eternal luvr... the genius behind smrsmf minsung... ofc u were bound to eat this up n end up on this list. idgaf if it's just an ask answer or drabble bcs the way u write is so . so Elegant. i love how u always use ur words to describe the emotion lingering between ppl in love n the way u do it here w chan n mc, the way he reassures her afterwards n how he promises her he'll give her everything later while fucking his fingers into her ohhhh mannnn.. i can just imagine him in his suit thank u for bringing the vision to life fr

15. you're right, baby — @chlorinecake (s, f)

soft dom chan who is ur fiancé fucking u n claiming u bcs he's a lil pouty that u forgot ur ring?? n then going so far to say he'll cum in u to make sure everyone knows who u belong to?? RAHHHHHH HE NEEDS ME!!! this was written so deliciously i loved the way mc n chan cared for each other n also the ending was so cute LOLZ hope they r happy in every universe n that their wedding goes great fr u r an awesome writer user chlorinecake

16. silence — @valkyriexo (s, a)

make up sex make up sex make up sex!!! i love it so good even tho it hurts so bad when mc realises chan forgot to show up :( but the fact that he makes it up to her by begging her to not leave him n making her cum as many times on his tongue as possible for her to forgive him?? INSANITY!! the longing in their eyes n words n actions from how much they've missed e/o when he finally touches mc n oh man.. u ate this up

17. corruption — @goquokka00 (s)

STEPBRO CHAN RAHHHHH i am a sucker for him (in more ways than one iygwim eheheh.. soz) i loved the sinister blackmail u added into the story n how he fucked mc bcs of her bad grades by making up some shit excuse abt learning how to please someone like y/n u can't be this dense girl!!! (i'd do it too if he asked me #Tbh) ANYWAYS. idk how this didn't have more notes bcs it was hot asfk i hope u keep writing more stuff to come :3

18. chef's kiss — @hyuniepies (s, f)

the tenderness of mc n chan's love mixed w the nasty dirty talk ohhhh hyuniepies u r a GENIUS!! this is exactly how i imagine domestic life w chan would be like; him coming back home to u cooking a dinner n then fucking u absolutely silly on the countertop bcs he just can't wait after getting a look at ur figure n bcs he's missed u so much. i too would be obsessed w bangchan if (read: when) he becomes my husband teehee

19. chan ask drabble #2 — @miupow (!!!, s)

USER MIUPOW UR FUCKING BRAIN!! HOW DO U CARRY SUCH A HUGE BRAIN IN UR HEAD!!! DOES UR BACK NOT HURT FROM HOLDING UP THE DELICIOUS IDEAS OF BCHAN SIZE KINK!!! like i told u yst i love ur writing n i love U so bad. u always eat w every request or idea u come up with n i absolutely adore that for u i hope u truly never stop writing bcs u have a serious gift n i hope ppl keep telling u that constantly bcs i sure as hell will <3

20. pretty mouth of yours — @jeongin-lvr (s, f)

need to give chan head like . Yesterday. but OHHHH MEINNNN GOTTTT fiancé channie w mc sucking him off so pretty u know exactly what im a sucker for u dont u user jeongin-lvr? ur writing is tooooooo good i swear i have read so much of ur work n granted this is one of my fave chan works from u icl i love the jeongin ones even more but i'll add those to my innie recs list later :3 ANYWAYS!! plz never stop writing u r awesomesauce (cringe.) n i love u hope u r having a great day today

21. daddy issues — @hwan-g (!!!, s, a)

HELLO THIS FUCKING FICCCCC... it is so good so delicious so fucking beautifully written that it brought tears to my eyes no joke. i still remember the first time i stumbled across it n like wow.. i think i dmed u on my side reading account too to express how much i liked it bcs i rly Did like it truly was a piece of art n sometimes i can't believe ppl like u just write stuff like this for free?? u should be getting paid good money bcs all ur work ALWAYS eats <3

22. closing the distance / pt. 2 — @thefantasyden (s, f)

ik long distance relationships r tough n it's awful when u can't spend time w each other physically or touch either but hear me out . it would Not suck w chan bcs he'd do everything for u the way he does everything for mc in this fic. from how he shows up n is too nervy to kiss her to them finally touching each other for the first time n then she moves back to him?? ohhhh man i love love n i love U for making this ur work always eats n trust that i'll always come back to this fic when i need to rmb how much i love chan

23. riding chan's thigh/knees — @faeryacha (!!!, s, f)

i love daddy chan so bad im sorry im not even gonna hide it anymore n i love the way he was written here too, from the way he asks if mc wants to play to the way he has her fuck herself on him to get herself off like i'm not even into little space like that but the minute he refers to himself as daddy n speaks to me all soft n protective im on my knees on the floor ready to suck him off like my life depends on it. u ate so bad w this plz continue doing more amazing work in the future!!!

24. steamy desires — @notsoangels (s)

shower sex w chan mngnghfhghgh.. need him so bad id let him fuck me anywhere as he pleases but in the shower?? w the hot water cascading over us w just us in our little world like omgomgomg NEED. i love the simplicity in ur writing too n how it paints a picture in my mind bcs i can vividly imagine all of this happening like him making u squirt on his cock n then rinsing u off so u can spend time wrapped up with each other on the bed like plz. One chance plz.

25. the fuckboy next door — @seospicybin (!!!, s, a)

miss seospicybin.. how do u always do it? how do u always come out w the most mindbreaking jawdropping amazing insane array of fics without even breaking a sweat like hello? this series is so fucking good from the smut to the angst that hurts so good. i love the development of the plot n that chan tries So hard to be true to mc so he can be w her n the way she tells him to do it for himself like :( they deserve each other sm i am very much looking forward to part 4!!!

26. pussydrunk chan — @aeliuss (s, f)

mngngngngjghgh i love pussydrunk chan so bad n i love the idea of him being so infatuated w mc that he just Had to drag her away n eat her out. i also love that he's there to support her in the end n how turned on he gets from her just being herself like that is a real man!!! n the way it's so reflective of how chan is irl too? i feel like this is how exactly how he'd behave— needy but so so soo in love with u too

27. kitty — @bandgie (!!!, s, f)

no joke this fic made my pussy throb. i need him 2 do this to him so bad bcs i need Him so bad. the way u wrote the subspace drop n how immersed mc was in her role n the way chan guides her thru everything n then the aftermath of it like hngnngnfgddjghjgh... i always have loved ur writing but this particular piece rly got to me along w ur kinktober series i hope u continue to do writing bcs u seriously so so SO good at it fr!!

28. angel eyes — @temptaetions (!!!, s, a)

this fic. this fucking FIC. bro this is actual evidence of the fact that literary geniuses exist bcs the way u wrote so beautifully not just the actual smut but the whole storyline?? u r a godsend fr like u should be getting paid to put out work of this degree. not only r u a PHENOMENAL writer but i hope u never stop writing bcs this was actually so so lovely n amazing to read i wish i could revisit the first time i read this T_T

29. just (fucking) friends? — @snowyquokka (s)

HELLOOOO i love possessive fwb chan almost as much as i love ur writing!! the way he's so annoyed at how she said they're just friends so he takes out his anger on her but then at the same time asks her what her color is to make sure she's still okay WOWZAAAA.. need him Bad. n in the end when they both agree they don't wanna be just friends like chan.. i don't want 2 be just friends either.. come 2 me plz... anyways very yummy work fr

30. american whiskey — @straywrds (!!!, s, a)

this fic... how do i even begin w this fic... the way u write is actually so . so otherwordly yk? u rly pour all ur passion into ur writing n the way u describe everything like every emotion every detail every feeling it's so raw n real that it touches my heart. i can Feel what each of the characters go thru n the SMUT... the smut is so so delicious ofc. i've read ur other work n u r such a good writer plz keep going with what u do i will always support u fr

31. free use w/ soft dom chris — @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (s, f)

the dirty talk in this.. hngnngkgjjdgjjh. i need free use w daddy!chan just as bad as i need to reread this fic ten times until it's ingrained in my brain n any telepath w the ability to read minds out there is disgusted by how many times i think abt it (idk what this analogy was i am sorry). the way he eats mc out n the way he fucks her omgfkjdgjhjhgjh NEED HIM RAHHHHH u did so well w this

32. play tight / pt. 4  — @roseykat (s, a)

squirting w chan squirting w chan SQUIRTING!! W CHAN!!! the way he makes mc do it once n then immediately goes "yea i need to feel that on my dick" n fucks her within an inch of her life like ohmygodjkdjhsfghj i did eat up the angst too but the way u wrote them fuckinig was so nasty n delicious I ENJOYED IT SM!! this entire series is such a good read even tho it's not chan centered idk if there r more parts to it but if there r plz link me to them!!

33. dream you — @charmercharm3r (s, f)

ok i know we r discussing smut n all n trust that i will get to that but THIS!! this was so cute n precious ohemgee the way he loves mc n takes care of her n banters w her at the start so lovingly is so so precious to me i want him so bad :( the smut was also very delicious w chan switching to hard dom mode n making mc suck him off before ravishing her like oh my god PLZZZZ FUCK ME PLZPLZPLZ u did so well on this plz continue writing more for me at the least <3

34. brat-taming w/ chan — @blurboki (s)

this damn drabble was so.. hngngjfjghjhdgjh. i want 2 be a brat to chan so bad n act out just so he'll snap n put me into my place which is exactly what u wrote n i LOVED IT!!! it's so short n simple (not a bad thing at all btw) yet it's so powerful too? i love the characterisation of chan cus i firmly believe this is how he'd act in bed w a fussy bratty s/o like wow. Just wow. i love u and ur delicious mind i hope u r having a great day just for this :3

35. tell me all about it.. — @chnsbm (s, f)

hngnfjhdfsjghgjh the idea of chan making u forget all about ur stress n playing with u to help u sleep is so gfjfjjjffjhgjhjh HOT!!! the way he lovingly reassures mc like u don't need to worry abt it now just let me take care of u n how he's such a fuckin TEASE!! w the way he's touching her is so so hot u ate w this idea n i will forever die on the hill that this is really smth chan would do— tease u n make u talk while he's doing ungodly things to u just to see u stutter over ur words

36. be that guy — @daizymax (!!!, s, a)

i have said it once i have said it twice n i will say it one more time bcs i don't care how many times i need to reiterate it needs to be said: EXES TO LOVERS W CHAN IS TOP TIER!!! the smut in this was so delicious but the LONGING chan had for mc.. the way he felt the twinge in his chest for letting her go oh man.. i'd take him back if he so even looked at me but maybe im just crazy. BUT ANYWAYS!! this is possibly one of the hottest chan smuts there ever is so thank U for this delicious gift fr

37. more than just friends — @kwanisms (!!!, s, f)

werewolf chan my luvr... my big strong baby who will knock me up w his knot n fuck me until the sun rises RAHHHHHHHH!!! this was so so SOOOOO good n yummy like from the way he pinned mc to the wall to the way he ordered her around n how his self restraint snapped the moment she called him daddy like why's that so Me behaviour HELPPPP anyways user kwanisms u fucking ATE w this i hope ur pillow is cold every night u go to sleep <3

38. connected — @j-0ne25 (s, f, a)

let me just start this by saying I FUCKING LOVE U USER J-0NE25!!! ur interactive stories esp megaverse r so fucking good how r u so bigbrained my dumbass could never like actually JSDHJFJHGJH. anyways i rmb reading this very vividly n oh boy.. "baby patience, or do you need me to teach you a lesson?" Brother my panties r drenched n off dont even start w me rn. anyways this was so so delicious plz never stop writing i beg u

39. chan ask drabble #3 — @hyungszn (!!!, s, f)

saved the best for last but CLOVER.. (u dk me but i am ur biggest fan hai :3) "your mouth is saying no but your body is telling me a different story, mrs. bang." GRRRHJDJSDFJHKJSFKJSFKJGJ... I NEED HIM SOO FUCKING BAD!!! the way they banter even while having nasty sex n just love each other so bad n hello my breeding kink went feral w this. when mc asked him to not eat his cum out of her pussy n he was like "and why is that?" cus he wanted to hear her say it GRAHHHHH I WILL EAT HIM!!! on a side note, u r so so soooo amazing i have been reading ur work for so long i think since american pie n i can safely say u r one of the best skzblr writers i have ever seen along w so many other ppl like plz keep up the good work bcs i will ALWAYS support u for it !!!

. . .

add notes: thank u very much to all these amazing writers fr. if ur work wasn't featured here now do not fret!! i probably (most definitely knowing my dumbass) just missed it cus i didn't scroll Very far down in my likes (there's like 2k+....) so trust that u will most likely end up on the next recs list!! i love u all very much regardless if u r here or not n as always a very big thank u once more for all ur amazing hard work, u r all doing so well n i hope u guys know that <3

[earthchica]

By Your Side

terry richmond x black, fem! reader

summary: you and terry have been married for two years. He is eager to start a family and frequently brings up the topic, but you always change the subject. Terry worries that you might not want children, but the truth is that your hesitation stems from something related to your childhood.

warning: explicit smut (18+), quickie, size kink, unprotected sex, mirror sex, angst, starting a family, husband/wife, mommy issues, unwanted pregnancy, panic attack, foul language, insults, argument, fluff, happy ending, nicknames (wifey, baby, baby girl), words: (4k)

note: i really enjoyed writing this one; it gets a little real and emotional. also, I might start doing moodboards for my fics from now on; idk what y'all think, and part 2, maybe?

-

You and your husband, Terry, were preparing for a double date night with your friends Alexis and Lance. You were in the bedroom, fixing your appearance in the mirror, while Terry was in the bathroom.

You were completely unaware of him standing in the doorway, captivated by the sight of you and how the dress hugged your curves and highlighted your elegance.

As he took a step closer, you felt the warmth of his presence behind you. Gently, he placed his hand on your back, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

"Terry, don't start. We couldn't be late for this double date like last time again," You said, trying to gently push him away, but he didn't budge.

He wrapped his arms around you tighter, causing him to tower over you as his lips brushed softly against your neck.

"I can't help it if my wifey is so damn fine. You know you could wear a trash bag, and I'll still find you so sexy," He continued to kiss your neck, and you were slowly giving in.

Terry turned you around to look into his pretty eyes, which had darkened with lust.

"Come, baby, I need you," He whispered, grabbing your hand and letting you caress the tent in his pants.

When have you ever turned him down?

"Okay but we gotta be quick; I do not want to hear Lex's mouth," You said with an eye roll.

"She'll be all right; come here," Terry said before kissing you while gently raising your dress and moving your panties to the side.

You sighed softly during the kiss, gripping the back of his neck, but he eventually pulled away.

"Fuck me in front of the mirror, Daddy," You requested, causing him to grin.

"My nasty girl! You would love that, huh?" Terry asked as he grabbed your neck, applying a bit of pressure.

"Yes, daddy, please," You moaned as he spun you around to face the mirror again, arching your back.

You stood there, watching him drop his pants and underwear, revealing his big, juice-throbbing dick. You bit your lip at the sight through the mirror, and Terry, not wasting any time, gradually slid himself inside of you.

"Shit, baby. Always feels so good being inside of you, you know that?" Terry groaned, resting his forehead against your shoulder.

You moaned, still glancing into the mirror, watching the expressions on his face.

"I've been craving for this pussy all day," He whispered in your ear, grabbing your hips, and began thrusting hard and fast.

You weren't sure how long you would last, but you knew you would be a mess afterward. Terry grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed your face against the mirror, causing you to moan.

"You love it; you love how I'm pulling your hair and fuck you against this mirror, baby?" He growled.

"Yes, I love it!.....Ahh, Daddy, fuck, I love it, yes!" You moaned, looking at him deeply through the mirror.

Your thighs begin to shake a little, and Terry pulls out of you and thrusts back in, pounding into you. You almost came at the intense feeling, a blissful wave of pleasure dousing your body.

"Ahh Yes, just like that. Fuck....I'm so close, T," You moaned, looking deep into his light eyes as he trusted even harder than before.

"Fuck, baby, me too, cum with me," He asked, and you nodded, then rubbed harsh circles on your clit.

Terry pulls you into a kiss, and after a few more thrusts, you both cum at the same time. He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours before pulling out slowly.

Terry kisses you again, the warmth of his lips lingering as he gently guides you to the bed. With a reassuring smile, he heads to the bathroom, rummaging through the towel closet for a washcloth.

He returns and cleans you with the wet washcloth. Both of you adjust your clothes, ensuring everything is in place. You reach for your purse before you know you two are finally leaving the house together.

-

You and Terry arrived at the restaurant on time and are now seated across from your friends. After a few rounds of light-hearted jokes and laughs.

The couple sitting across from you exchanged glances, excitement in their eyes. Then, with beaming smiles, they announced they were expecting a baby, sending waves of joy and surprise rippling through the table.

"Oh shit, Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two," Terry says, reaching over to Lance to dap him up.

"Uh wow...Congratulations, Lex and Lance!" You said with a nervous smile.

"Thank you." They both looked at each other with blissful eyes at the same time.

"So, have you two thought of names? Oh shit, what you're having? It's a boy and a girl. How far-?" Terry began to ramble on with excitement, and you've never seen him like this.

"Terry, baby. Let them breathe; damn, Uncle T over here is more hype than you two." You teased playfully, and he shrugged shyly.

"Maybe that’s a sign, girl,” Alexis whispered, looking at you across the table with a hopeful smile.

"Are you two planning on having kids soon?" Lance asked curiously, and Terry was about to respond, but then you interrupted him.

“Oh, God, no,” You replied, a chuckle escaping your lips as you sipped your wine.

The unexpected response caught everyone off guard, especially Terry. The atmosphere shifted slightly, and you cleared your throat to correct yourself.

"I mean, we're not sure. We might just wait on kids, right, Terry? "you asked, taking hold of Terry's hand, which made him tense up.

"Hey, that's okay; we weren't sure at first either, but we took our time, talked it out, and here we are," Alexis explained in an understanding tone, and Lance nodded in agreement.

You nodded and swiftly shifted the conversation but remained a bit tense due to Terry's lingering annoyance. After what felt like a whirlwind of chatter and awkward glances, the double date ended.

“Goodbye! Drive safely!” You said, waving goodbye as your friends headed toward their car. Terry stood beside you, his expression unreadable.

As you both walked to the car, an uncomfortable silence settled between you, almost palpable in the air. You could feel the cool evening breeze brushing against your skin, but it did little to ease the tension that lingered.

After getting into the car, Terry started the engine and drove out of the parking lot. A heavy silence filled the air, and the lack of conversation began to gnaw at you, causing irritation.

You couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind, and then it struck you—it was about the baby talk.

"Terry, baby, are you okay? " You asked him, placing your hand on his leg as he continued to look straight ahead while driving.

"Yeah," Terry replied, but you felt unconvinced. When he parked in the driveway without fully stopping, he jumped out of the car.

“Terry?” You called out, but he walked straight to the front door and entered the house. Frustrated, you got out of the car and followed him in.

After closing the front door and locking it, you dropped your purse on the side table and walked upstairs. You entered your shared bedroom with your hands on your hips.

"Terry, please talk to me?" You said, watching him take off his shirt and sit on the edge of the bed.

“Why did you react that way when our friends asked about us having kids?” Terry asked, pausing for a second.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean for it to come out like that," You said as you approached the bed and sat beside him.

"You know, whenever the topic of us starting a family gets brought up, you get this look. I don't understand why. Do you not want to have kids with me?" Terry asked, looking at you frustratedly.

"Can we please discuss this later? I'm tired and not ready to talk about this right now," You sighed, moving to the dresser to take off your jewelry.

"Ok, I understand, baby. I never want to pressure you into anything, but it's almost a year of us tiptoeing around the talk of having kids. I just need a straight answer," Terry asked eagerly.

"I don't think I'm ready for kids right now. I'm not even sure if I want them," You said honestly, turning toward him.

He nodded, a hint of disappointment and heartbreak shining in his eyes.

"Please don't be upset. Maybe I'll be ready in a year or so, but not right now!" You said, kneeling before him and placing your hands on his face.

-

A few weeks have passed since the baby talk, and Terry has become distant, which hurts your heart. You just got out of the shower, wrapped your body in a towel, and suddenly felt nauseated.

You covered your mouth, rushed to the restroom, and vomited. You had been feeling unwell and thought it was the flu, but now you suspected it was something else.

You shook your head in disbelief, flushed the toilet, and then paused while brushing your teeth as a thought crossed your mind. The symptoms were making you concerned that you might be pregnant, and the only way to confirm this was by taking a pregnancy test.

To your surprise, you found a box of pregnancy tests in the bathroom cabinet. You took a test and waited a few minutes, taking a deep breath before looking at the result.

"No, no, no. I can't," you said, shaking your head at the pregnancy test. You were really pregnant, and you felt like you were going to faint as your heart raced.

You sat on the edge of the bathtub, crying as Terry walked into the bedroom and heard your cries coming from the bathroom. He immediately walked in to check on you.

"Hey, what's the matter, baby?" He asked sweetly, kneeling to look at your face.

"I-I," You started, trying to calm down, but it was very hard. You felt a panic attack coming on.

"Shh, take a deep breath, and take your time," Terry said, holding your shoulder steady. You took a deep breath and looked at him through your tears.

“Alright, let’s take another deep breath,” He said, guiding you as you inhaled deeply, allowing yourself to feel a sense of calm.

"Thank you," You began, wiping away your tears. Glancing at the pregnancy test, you handed it to him.

"I'm pregnant," You said, and Terry took the pregnancy test from your hand. He was over the moon with the news, but he sensed you weren't happy and decided to comfort you.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. I know you're scared," Terry said as he sat next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

"I am, Terry. I'm just so scared of being a bad mom. I don't want to be like my mom. I know I gave you little details about her, but..." You stopped and wanted to avoid discussing her.

Terry urged you to express your feelings as he tightened his arm around your shoulder and asked, "What happened, baby?"

"Do you remember how I told you she left my dad and me when I was 10?" You asked, looking at him, and he nodded.

"Well, when I was 18, I needed closure. I needed something from her. So I found her, and she was happy with her new family. Unfortunately, she said some really hurtful things to me. I was more heartbroken at that moment than I was on the day she left. My dad did everything he could to help me heal, but I guess I’m still not over it." You confessed, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm sorry, baby..." Terry said, kissing the side of your face as you broke down, you left your face to look at him.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have held that information to you, and I should told you my feelings about having kids. I'm sorry. I'm just scared of becoming her and passing down trauma to our kid."

"Baby, it's okay, and I want you to know you are nothing like your mom. I know you're scared, and shit, I'm scared too, but I think we can do this. I love you, and I will be right here by your side," Terry said sweetly.

You were truly blessed to have Terry as a patient, understanding, and sweet husband.

"Terry, I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you. Do you really think we can do this?" You asked, wiping your tears away and taking a breath.

"Yes, I do. We can do this; I have faith in us," Terry said with a warm smile, his eyes shining with determination and filling you with hope for the journey ahead.

-

A refreshing cool breeze swept across the beach, gently brushing against your brown skin as you stood there, feeling the warm sun on your face.

You rested your hand on your 26-week baby bump, a constant reminder of the new life growing inside you. Your pregnancy journey has not been easy.

You have faced struggles, experiencing highs and lows that have tested your emotions. Terry has been an incredible source of love and care during these months.

His encouragement and daily reassurances have helped soothe your fears and anxieties. As a result, you are slowly but surely starting to embrace the idea of motherhood and feel genuine excitement about welcoming your little one into the world.

You felt a soft embrace around your arms, drawing you out of your thoughts. Turning your head, you smiled at Terry, who was carefully wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, its texture soft against your skin.

The blanket offered a comforting warmth, making the contrast between the cool air and sunlight more enjoyable. Together, you both soaked in the beauty of the beach, with the waves crashing softly in the background.

"You know how I feel about you being out here without something warm," Terry said, his voice filled with care. He gently placed one hand on your lower back, offering comfort, while his other hand rested on your belly, radiating warmth.

"I know, babe, I know, but I really wanted to watch the sunset. Look at how the sky is painted. Isn’t it beautiful?" You asked, looking up at him with a smile.

"Yes, it really is beautiful," Terry said with a nod and a warm smile.

"But not as beautiful as my pregnant wife," He said, leaning in and kissing your neck. The touch of his scruff beard sent a delightful tickle down your spine, causing you to giggle.

The affection in his eyes made the moment even more unique, filling you with warmth and happiness. You and Terry briefly stood outside before going inside, enjoying a romantic dinner and then lounging on the couch.

Terry sat beside you, gently touching your belly as he spoke softly to the little one inside. His face lit up with joy and wonder each time the baby kicked, and you couldn’t help but smile at his reactions.

It was heartwarming to see his eyes wide with excitement as if he were trying to connect with the tiny life growing within you. You cherished these moments, feeling the warmth of his love for both you and the baby.

Terry was ready to become a father. His protectiveness for the child grew, and he clung to every moment of this journey. He immersed himself in parenting books, eager to learn everything he could to prepare for the responsibilities ahead.

He felt confident and ready to embrace this new role. You were also excited but still coming to terms with the reality of motherhood.

“You're going to be an amazing daddy, Terry,” You said softly, gently cupping his cheek in your hand. His eyes sparkled with joy as a broad smile spread across his face, reflecting excitement and a hint of pride.

"And you're going to be an amazing mama," He said with a wider smile that showed all his teeth, his eyes sparkling with reassurance. He leaned closer, gently brushing his lips against yours in a tender kiss filled with love and promise.

-

After returning home from your little getaway, you found yourself tussling with a lingering sense of anxiety. Your mood has turned downward for the past few weeks, making you irritable and withdrawn.

You took a breath, disconnecting yourself from your thoughts, and noticed Alexis watching you. Her expression was a mix of curiosity and concern.

"Are you absolutely certain you can be out right now?" She inquires, her eyebrow arching skeptically as she studies your expression.

Your brow furrowed in response as you set your glass of water down on the table with a gentle thud, a hint of frustration creeping into your demeanor.

"Uh, yeah, why would you ask that, Lex?" You replied, chuckling lightly as you took a bite of your sandwich, savoring the crisp lettuce and juicy tomatoes.

"Well, ever since you got pregnant, Terry has become overprotective, not letting you go anywhere," She answered, and she was right.

You love Terry deeply, and you understand that his recent behavior stems from his intense worry about you and the baby. He cares for you both immensely, but his expression of concern has started wearing down your patience.

His constant fretting and overprotectiveness often leave you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, making it challenging to navigate your feelings.

While you appreciate his love and dedication, there are moments when you just wish he could relax and trust that everything will be alright.

You told him today that you were going out, and I’d be okay with Alexis. However, he bombarded you with so many texts and calls that you had to silence your phone to find peace away from the constant notifications.

"I’m not sure what to do about that," You shrugged and glanced down at your food as you spoke.

Alexis takes a deep breath and says, "You should ask him to back off, just a little."

"I’ve been trying to do that, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings," You mentioned it while nervously fidgeting with your hands.

“Just tell him how his overprotectiveness makes you feel and that he needs to tone it down. I believe he’ll understand,” she says.

After brunching with Alexis and shopping for baby items, she dropped you off at home.

You set your purse down on the side table by the door and walked into the kitchen. Terry called your name and hurried into the kitchen.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asks, his expression filled with frustration.

"I was out with Lex; I told you that," You mentioned going to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

"Ok, but you could've answered one of the calls; I was worried sick. I thought something had happened," Terry says, his brows scrunched and jaw clenched.

"Terry, I don't have to check in with you every single time, I'm a grown-ass woman," You said, irritated.

"You're right, you are, but you're also my wife and carrying my child. I have the right to-." You cut him off.

"Our child, you mean!" you said, correcting him before rolling your eyes and entering the living room as he followed you.

"Yes, but still...you know I'm right, baby girl. Just admit it," Terry says, watching you sit on the couch.

“Did you ever think that I just needed some space? Ever since I got pregnant, you've been overprotective and breathing down my fucking neck,” You asked, looking up at him.

"Oh, really? If I remember correctly, you said you appreciated it," Terry says while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, but now it's getting fucking annoying, and I feel like I can't breathe. I just need you to chill a little bit."

"Fine, If that's what you fucking want! I'll stop being such an annoying, caring, clingy husband," He says as he storms away.

"Terry…" you called his name, but he didn’t respond. You closed your eyes, sighed, and caressed your belly with your hands.

This continued for several days. Terry maintained his distance but still offered help occasionally as he couldn't help himself. While you appreciated having your space, you also disliked it because Terry wasn't talking to you as much.

You tried to engage him in conversation, but he only offered a few short answers, which hurt your heart. You missed your sweet, adorable husband.

It was almost midnight, and you couldn’t fall asleep—at least not without his hand on your belly and his body pressed against your back.

You looked over at him, and he was facing away, and you could barely see his face. You sighed, getting out of bed, and cringed at the sound of the bed made.

You quietly went downstairs and walked into the kitchen to get some ice cream from the fridge. After taking the ice cream out, you placed it on the coffee table with a spoon.

Then, you got a pregnancy pillow from the closet and settled comfortably on the couch. You flipped through the channels and watched something random.

Halfway through the movie, you fell asleep and didn't even feel yourself being lifted off the couch by a pair of arms. You woke up with the sun blinding your eyes.

You looked around and realized you were back in bed, with an arm resting on your belly. You tilted slightly and saw Terry's handsome face sleeping while cuddling into your neck.

You smiled softly, missing the feeling of his arms, and planted a kiss on his nose, which made him smile in his sleep. You kissed his cheek, waking him, and slowly opened his pretty eyes to meet yours.

"Hi," you whispered, a slight smile on your face. Surprisingly, he smiled back.

"Hi," he replies, his voice barely rising above the sounds of the world outside. The sun filters through the window, casting warm rays across the room.

Outside, a chorus of birds fills the air with cheerful chirping, while nearby, dogs barking in the distance. Despite the lively symphony, an uncomfortable silence settles between you two, and neither of you finds the words to break it.

Terry was about to pull away, but you held him closer, not letting him go. You pouted and asked, "Where are you going?"

“Going to the bathroom…what is it?” He asked, his voice icy and detached. You can feel the tension in the air, heavy and suffocating.

“Please don’t act like that. I’m truly sorry for what I said; I never meant to hurt you,” You plead, gazing at him with wide, sincere eyes, hoping to convey your genuine apology.

Your heart races as you search his face for understanding, desperate for him to see how much you care.

"I love you," you said, waiting to hear his response. Terry kissed your forehead softly.

"I love you too, baby. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been so overprotective. I'm going to be a little bit better," He says, placing his hand back on your baby bump.

"No, it's okay, Terry. You were just worried, and I was being a bitch" You said, feeling your emotions intensifying.

"Shh…it's alright, baby girl. You weren't being a bitch, you were just being honest with your feelings, and I understand now, okay? We're good," He said, wiping your tears away.

"Okay!" You said with a nod, smiling happily as you looked into his eyes with love.

"Good, now come on, let's start our morning routine so I can make you and our little one some breakfast," Terry said with a warm smile.

He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against your forehead again before getting out of bed.

You are very happy that you both worked this out and can now focus on the exciting journey of becoming parents.

[luckykiwiii101]

NOVEMBER CHALLENGE

YOUR NEW ROUTINE

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

ィ⠀*ring ring* your dream life is calling…⠀࿐

P.S. Make sure you have read THIS POST beforehand! I know this is called the November Challenge but you can use this routine anytime!! This is for people who are going to take their dream life seriously.

Hey Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here and I have a “challenge” for you. I don’t want you to think about the life you could be living, but the life you will be living after reading this post.

You’ve been denying yourself of a beautiful life for a long time, and that ends now. And i’m sure since you’ve read my “I look forward to never seeing you again” post, you know exactly how the law of assumption works and exactly what you need to do.

So here’s your new manifestation routine, because I am not going to lay back and watch every single one of you live a miserable life and doom scroll on tumblr. I thought the season of horror movies was last month, yet you’re still watching. But not for long.

NOTE!!: When I tell you to “Imagine & feel”, I am talking about FULLY identifying with the INNER self. To read my post about how to imagine CLICK HERE (You should be fully immersed in your inner reality like HERE)

ィ⠀WAKING UP⠀࿐

-> The first minute right as you wake up is a really useful state where your subconscious is extremely susceptible to new assumptions & beliefs.

-> Imagine yourself having all your desires and the best self concept ever!!! Do this for as long as you want, until you are 100% certain that you have the best self concept and that you have everything you want in imagination.

ィ⠀THROUGHOUT THE DAY⠀࿐

-> Throughout the day when you find that your desires come to mind, go back to the state and just know that you have them. Feel yourself to have it in imagination. Imagine & feel. Have fun with it! Look at your vision boards, script, visualise, affirm, vaunt, do whatever you want as long as it fulfills you. DO THIS EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU THINK OF YOUR DESIRES!!!!

-> For those of you who are very busy throughout the day and don’t naturally think of their desires throughout the day because they don’t have time, set reminders on your phone!!! Download this app called “Structured” on the app store, and you can set notifications!

-> Set these reminders on your phone for every 1-2 hours so that you can dwell in the state of the wish fulfilled!!! e.g. A reminder goes off on your phone at 1pm which means it’s time to imagine & feel. Then another reminder goes off at 2pm or 3pm depending on what you choose telling you to imagine & feel. You can use a code word if you don’t want people to see the notifications on your phone. e.g. “I&F means to imagine and feel.”

ィ⠀GOING TO SLEEP⠀࿐

-> Do SATS as you are falling asleep. It’s alright if you don’t “succeed” when doing sats the first time. Control yourself from just falling asleep, keep persisting. This part is optional but it is very helpful to making your desires feel natural to you.

-> You can also do an alpha state meditation right before you go to sleep. You can also do this alpha state meditation any time of the day when you are in a relaxed environment.

ィ⠀REASSURANCE VAUNT⠀࿐

EXPERIENCING THE 3D & FEELING DOUBTFUL

-> NOTE: Unidentifying with the 3D doesn’t mean to ignore the 3D. You are still experiencing the 3D in your day to day life, you simply cannot ignore it. All you can do is just not identify with it. How do you do this? When you experience the 3D, you do not assume that your 3D self is the real you, because your inner self is the real you! You view the 3D as nothing but an illusion based on past assumptions.

-> I want you to know that it’s normal to feel doubtful as the days go on when manifesting your dream life. But you HAVE to keep persisting and not let those doubts get to you. Keep going back to imagination & feeling!!! No matter what!!! Don’t EVER give up!! Don’t give up on yourself!! You don’t deserve that.

-> EVERY time you start to feel fear & doubt and the 3D becomes too overwhelming for you, read this reassurance vaunt by me. It will help you get back on track. -> CLICK HERE

-> When you feel doubtful or even unmotivated, you can read success stories on @loasuccessarchive and @voidsuccessarchive, but remember to ALWAYS go back to feeling!!!

DO NOT let anything get in your way. You are your inner self and you are God. Nothing can tell you otherwise.

- gossip girl

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

[joeburrowshaircurl]

A Lovely Night Part 2

summary: You've become friends with Joe over the past few months. Training camp is right around the corner, Joe wants to take things to the next level.

pairing: Joe Burrow x shy anxious reader

warnings: fluff

words: 1,125

a/n: here's part 2! Sorry it took so long, life has been busy. Happy reading!

You sighed with exhaustion as you set the last of the groceries on the counter in the kitchen. Apartment living had its perks, especially since it was the first place you ever had by yourself. But sometimes you wished you had someone to help with carrying the groceries so it took fewer trips. But there was no time to rest, Joe would be coming over for dinner and a movie so it was time to start prepping and cooking.

Movie night had become a thing between the two of you. Sometimes Ja'Marr and Tee would tag along with Joe but most of the time it was only Joe. Sometimes you'd watch a movie at home or if something came out at the theatre, you'd go there.

Joe had revealed his job to you and the fame that came with it and at first, it had surprised you. The way he had arrived to movies during or after the previews made sense, he hadn't wanted to be recognized. You'd never been around anyone famous until Joe, but to you he wasn't famous, he was just a regular guy who also enjoyed to watch movies.

After you put away your groceries for the next few weeks, you put some music on your bluetooth speaker and got busy making dinner from scratch which would be spaghetti and meatballs with salad. The sauce would take the longest to cook due to needing it to simmer so you started on that first. You had no Italian blood in you but you found joy in cooking and baking for others. But it was also a fear of yours that no one would like what you made, so you rarely did it. You were going out on a limb to show Joe another side of yourself, and as worried as you were, you wanted everything to be perfect.

You hadn't realized how much time had past as the sauce was simmering on the stove, the meatballs were done and cooking in the oven, and you were in the middle of kneading the pasta dough when the buzzer went off for your apartment. Knowing it was Joe, you quickly went over to the door to hit the button "Come on up." You unlocked the door for him and cracked it open, some remnants of dough and flour ending up on the inside handle, but you'd clean it off later. Your priority right now was to finish shaping the dough.

"Hey." Joe greeted as he shut the door behind him and took his shoes off. "I got you some canned mocktails to try since I know you don't drink alcohol. I'm going to try some too."

You smiled and looked over at him before you started rolling the dough out to fold and slice. "That's sweet of you, thank you." No one done that before, you were touched.

"What are we watching tonight?" Joe asked as he put the drinks in the fridge and examined the pot on the stove. "And what are you making? I'm intrigued."

"Ummm well I'm making spaghetti, meatballs and salad. The spaghetti and meatballs are from scratch. I wanted to make garlic bread from scratch too but that was going to take too much time. Oh and the sauce on the stove is from scratch too." You explained as you finished kneading and folding the dough to start shape it into spaghetti.

"And we are watching The Godfather, I know its a long movie but we don't have to watch it all tonight." You glanced over at Joe as he took it upon himself to help you by putting together the salad. It could make or break the friendship for you if he didn't like the movie.

"Sounds good to me." Joe replied as he chopped up some vegetables.

"Yeah?" You smiled as you moved to the stove to put the pasta into the pot of water that was now boiling. "Good, because I kind of centered the dinner around the movie. And thank you for making the salad, I appreciate it."

Your anxious thoughts seemed to disappear around Joe, but you still had them depending on the situation and if it was a bad day. But all in all, he had become your rock since moving to Cincinnati. You had only known each other a few months but you felt like you had known him your whole life.

"Its no problem." Joe smiled as he finished combining everything for the salad into one bowl.

"Everything's just about done, go set up the movie and i'll get everything ready." You turned the music of on the bluetooth speaker as Joe moved to the living room to set everything up. The one bedroom apartment in downtown Cincinnati had been much more affordable than your apartment back home in Boston. You even had a view of Paycor stadium, which you hadn't planned but it amused you.

You decided at the last second to combine the sauce with the pasta adn put the meatballs in their own separate bowl instead of putting everything on each of your plates incase Joe wanted seconds. Having everything on the living room table would save from having either of you from having to pause the movie.

"Alright! I hope you like it!" You smiled as you set everything onto the table and grabbed a little bit of everything before you got comfortable on the couch as the movie started.

"This is delicious, thank you for cooking." Joe said before he took another bite.

"You're welcome." You smiled, your cheeks flushing a little.

"If you were my girlfriend, I'd have a hard time staying on track during the season."

Joe had said it so simply, it had made your eyes go wide.

"I-I'd like to think I'd make foods to help you stay on track during the season." You said after your brain was able to think again.

"I'm serious. I want you to be my girlfriend. I know we haven't known each other long but it feels right. I know we will be able to get through training camp, I'll help you adjust."

First and foremost you were friends first, and you loved that. Over the past few months, feelings had grown that you had tried to ignore and kept secret. You couldn't imagine someone wanting to be with you, it had never worked out that way. But you didn't want to openly say it and ruin the moment.

"I-I agree with you." You said softly before you looked over at him and smiled, your cheeks felt like they were on fire. "So its official then."

"Its official." He put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close against him. "My girl." Your heart was hammering. Surely you had to be dreaming.

[lovegalor333]

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

safe house pt 2 (previous part)

summary: read previous part, this is a direct continuation.

content warnings: domestic violence

You wake up in your best friends bed, last night still fresh in your mind. It plagued your dreams, waking you up out of your sleep multiple times, heart racing in a panic until you realised you were nowhere near your boyfriend, you were safe. For now.

Nightmares were a regular occurrence for you, especially after his outbursts. You would dream of him choking you and you’d wake up gasping for air and he’d be sleeping soundly as if nothing was wrong.

You spent a lot of nights staring up at the ceiling not daring to even breathe too loud incase you woke him and you would wonder if this is what your life was destined to be like forever. Would you always live in fear? It felt like it. It felt like there was no way out and he had told you as much.

“You’ll never leave.”

“You couldn’t survive without me.”

“You need me.”

“Without me, you’re nothing.”

“You’re mine. I own you.”

“The day you leave me will be your last.”

He’d spoken these words for so long you believed them. You believed you needed him. You believed you couldn’t survive without him. You believed he owned you. And you especially believed that the day you left him would be your last. He had a short fuse, he was violent and unpredictable and one too many times you thought you wouldn’t survive his beatings.

You’ve been victim to multiple black eyes and busted lips over the most insignificant things. One time it was because you had fallen asleep on the couch after a long day. Another time it was because his team had lost a match. Bruises covered your body constantly and in the worst instance, you had suffered a broken nose. That time, you didn’t leave the apartment for weeks just to avoid the barrage of questions that you wouldn’t be able to answer truthfully.

Allie was no longer laid beside you like she was last night when you fell asleep, you wasn’t sure how long she’d been up, she must have been very careful not to wake you and you were grateful for the extra sleep.

You slip out of bed and catch your reflection in the mirror and you audibly gasp, “Shit.”

The bruising around your eye had developed overnight, it was a deep shade of red and extremely swollen. You traced your fingers over it gently and winced at the pain it caused. The split on your lip had dried over and a scab had begun to form, it hurt to open your mouth and you knew it would sting like a bitch when it came to eating and drinking. The hand marks around your neck had deepened too, they were more prominent today and you swallowed hard, remembering the feeling of the air be squeezed out of you. Your ribs hurt with every intake of breath and after lifting your shirt, you could see why. Your torso was littered with bruises and scuffs caused by your boyfriends foot.

You knew deep down leaving the apartment last night was the right thing to do, for your own safety but you also knew it will have made your situation today worse. You had to go back, there was nowhere else to go. It was your home, all of your things were there but you knew he’d be waiting, as soon as you stepped foot back inside and he wouldn’t be happy.

You could hear Allie and her roommates in the living room, they were talking in hushed voices but you could still make out your name when it was spoken.

You pressed your ear up against the door in an attempt to listen.

“I’ve known Y/N a long time. She won’t leave him. You think I haven’t tried before?” That was Allie.

“Obviously not hard enough, Allie. She’s being beaten black and blue.” That was Paige and her voice was raised several octaves higher, she sounded angry and you flinched at her tone.

“OK, calm down. Let’s just speak to her and see what she wants to do.” Jana tried to reason with the girls.

“No. Seeing what she wants to do isn’t an option. She’s brainwashed by him, not to mention scared out of her mind. Of course she’s not going to want to leave him but I’m not letting this go on for any longer. I told her last night was the last time he’d hurt her and I meant it.” Paige says quieter this time but she still sounded angry.

Last night was the first time Paige had seen you after one of your boyfriends outbursts and you hadn’t expected it to evoke this kind of reaction. Most people didn’t know what to say, they’d just ignore it. It was like the elephant in the room.

You’re crying now as you listen to the girls talk about you, you felt bad that you had dragged them into your mess.

“She can’t stay there anymore.” That was Paige again.

“That’s her apartment, she has nowhere else to go.” That was Allie.

“She’ll stay here until we figure it out.” Paige, again.

You appreciated what Paige was saying but ultimately, Allie was right. You weren’t going to leave your boyfriend, you couldn’t.

You dried you tears quickly and readied yourself to face the girls. Your hand shook as you opened Allies door and you took a deep breath as you stepped out. Everyones eyes immediately fell on you and you felt like a deer in headlights. Allie looked at you sympathetically while Jana, who hadn’t seen you last night, looked shocked at your injuries and Paige had a deep frown set on her face and it looked like she was about to cry.

“Thank you for letting me stay but I should be getting home.” You tried your best not let your voice falter but it came out in a shaky croak you cursed yourself for sounding so weak.

Paige looked at Allie, silently saying stop her but Allie just raised her brows in response as if to say what can I do?

“I don’t think you should go home.” Paige brakes the silence and stands from the couch.

“I have to.” You murmur.

“You don’t.” Allies also standing now.

“I do, you don’t get it. None of you get it.” You snap and run your fingers through your hair in frustration.

“No, we don’t, but we can’t let you go back there. You’re not safe.” Paige responds, walking over to where you’re stood and she reaches out to touch you or hug you, you’re not sure but you jump back at her advance.

“I’m sorry.” She mutters, letting her hand fall back down to her side.

You shake your head, “I have to go.”

“Y/N, please don’t.” Paige pleads and the tears that have been threatening to fall finally do and you’re sobbing in your friend’s living room, not knowing what to do.

Allie calms you down and her and Paige continue to beg you not to return to your apartment. They say you can stay with them for as long as you like and you allow yourself to dreams of days not poisoned by your abuser.

“All my stuff is there.” You whisper after a while. If you were really going to do this, if you were really going to leave him, it wouldn’t be easy.

You wasn’t sure what scared you more, going back and being at his mercy or trying to leave and him doing everything in his power to not allow you.

“We can help you do that. Ayanna and KK are coming over, we can go and get your stuff.” Paige tells you and you shake your head, “I’m coming with you.” You say, your boyfriend was unpredictable on a good day, you were not about to put Paige or Ayanna or KK in his firing line.

Ayanna and KK arrived shortly after and you sat awkwardly as Paige explained the situation, you felt like a victim, weak and frail and you hated that but the girls met you with nothing but love and support and you thanked them continuously as you drove to your apartment. You were really about to do this.

“I should go in first.” You say as the four of you stood outside of your front door. Music blasted from the other side so you knew your boyfriend was home.

“We’re coming in.” Ayanna states and your hand shakes as you push the key in the lock and turn it, opening the door.

“Just pack your stuff and we’ll get you out of here.” Paige whispers into your ear, she’s behind you and her hand comes to the small of your back and you flinch at the unexpected touch, you keep doing that but you can’t help it, you’re so used to violent hands, it’s all you expect now.

The apartment was not how you left it, in the few hours you’d been gone, it had been trashed. Dirty laundry was thrown onto the floor, dinner plates from last night had been smashed, pizza boxes lay discarded on the table, beer bottles too. This was expected, but what hurt the most was seeing your personal items destroyed, a frame that held a picture of you and your sister had been shattered, shards of glass everywhere, multiple items of your clothing looked as though Edward Scissorhands himself had got at them and your favourite books had the pages ripped out of them and thrown across the room.

You look back at the girls with tears in your eyes, trying to gauge their reactions and their faces say it all, “He’s a freak.” KK mutters picking up your cut up clothes.

You take cautionary steps to your bedroom knowing he’s in there.

“Where the fuck have you been?” He spits, he was laid on the bed but quickly got up when he saw you.

“I stayed at a friends.” You gulp as he steps closer to you, so close you can smell the alcohol on his breath.

“What friend?” He pushes, his hand coming up to grip your jaw, “And don’t lie.” He snarled bringing his face directly up to yours.

“A-Allie.” You stutter out and try to wriggle away from him but that only makes his grip tighten before he shoves you away from him making you stumble back into the living room. Paige is by your side in a heartbeat and you watch your boyfriends face contort into a scowl and his eye twitches in anger, “Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m helping Y/N get her stuff. You’re not hurting her anymore.” Paige asserts, moving herself to stand in front of you. You’re completely shielded by her tall, muscular frame and you were so used to seeing your boyfriend as big and intimidating in comparison to you but Paige made him seem nothing short of ordinary. At 6’0, she stood at the same height as him and her biceps bulged in her tight t-shirt making his look like nothing special.

He laughed a deep sinister laugh but you knew he found nothing funny and his eyes grew dark as he stepped towards Paige but she didn’t move one bit, she stood her ground, “Get your stuff, Y/N.” She says turning to you but you’re frozen in place, scared to move.

Your boyfriend notices KK and Ayanna and he scoffs, “What are these, your fucking bodyguards?”

You don’t reply so he lunges at you but not before Paige can pull you behind her again, “Back up bro.” She hissed holding her hands out to keep him away.

“Get your stuff.” Paige says again turning to you and pointing to your room and this time you move with conviction. You weren’t alone now, you were getting out of here.

KK helped you stuff what was left of your clothes into a suitcase. You collected your belongings from around the room, your stuffed animal, makeup, books, your laptop, packing them all into various bags. Your movements were rushed and frantic and your attention was on the repeated smashing and crashing sounds coming from the living room and kitchen.

“That’s everything.” You say to KK, zipping up your case and she nods, picking up multiple bags in each hand while you wheeled the suitcase behind her.

In the living room, every surface had been wiped clear of whatever stood there before, a vase was shattered on the floor, the coffee table had been flipped and a lamp laid in pieces on the rug.

Your boyfriend was fuming and he couldn’t get to you so he was destroying anything and everything he could get his hands on. You thank God that he hadn’t touched Paige or Ayanna, they just stood watching him have a complete meltdown.

“Ready?” Paige asks seeing you with all your possessions packed and you nod, not able to string together even a simple sentence. Your hands were clammy and your heart was beating so fast you could hear it. You never thought this day would come.

“You’ve lost your mind if you think you’re going anywhere.” Your boyfriend booms at you.

You walked to the door with hurried steps and he reaches out to grab you but you dodge his grasp, something you’ve been afraid to do for so long but you’re not afraid anymore, you’re determined. Determined to leave, determined to survive this relationship that’s been nothing short of hell on earth.

“Y/N if you leave, you’ll regret it. I’ll make you regret it!” He threatened, picking up a beer bottle and hurling it in your direction. You feel it brush past your ear before it smashes on the ground in front of you and you yelp at the sound as tiny shards of glass crunch under your steps.

“Get her out of here.” Paige instructs her friends, opening the front door ushering you all out but you stop on the threshold, “Come on, Paige.” You urged, not wanting to leave her alone in the apartment.

“Give me a minute.” Her words are softer and calmer when they’re directed at you. You don’t want to leave her but KK and Ayanna don’t give you much choice as they guide you away from the apartment that was filled with some of the worst memories you have.

You stay in the hall, the door to the apartment still open and you hear everything Paige says.

“Y/N is never coming back here. You’re never going to put your hands on her again. You’ve hurt her for long enough and it stops now. You won’t make her regret anything and if I hear that you go anywhere near her, you’ll regret it. Do you hear?” Her voice is strong and dominant and you hold your breath waiting for his response but there is none. “Do you fucking hear?” He must nod because Paige mumbled a good before joining you in the hall, closing the door behind her and you let out the breath you had been holding in.

Paige has the picture of your sister and you in her hands and she passes it to you with a small smile, “Thought you might want this.” She says and you thank her holding the picture close to your chest, such a small action meant more than she’ll ever know.

“It’s done, Y/N. You’re out of there and you never have to go back.” Paige says closing the trunk of her car after filling it with your bags.

KK and Ayanna are already sat inside, “Thank you.” you whisper looking up to Paige, her big blue eyes sharing down at you, “Can I touch you?” She asks tentatively and you nod. You want to say please but stop yourself.

And for the first time, you don’t flinch or recoil at Paiges touch, as her arms wrap around you protectively, you melt into her and just allow yourself to be held.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

a/n: sorry this took so long, ive been so busy but thank you for all the requests for a part 2! i hope this does it justice 💋🫂

[tainbocuailnge]

so I haven't touched arknights in like. about a year or so, but it sounds like Crownslayer is a gravel style opp? Which. idk back when I was playing Gravel was still an incredible unit for her ability to be dropped and just stall someone for a bit. and crownslayer having stun and evasion, as well as being able to provide evasion to other units, sounds like a similar style of insane??? idk why people are saying she's bad she sounds bonkers

(tho I might be wrong, like I said I've not touched the game since like Il Sira)

the problem is that people have developed a completely warped idea of what an executor specialist is supposed to look like because texas and yato are not actually good representatives of the subclass.

the game started with gravel and projekt red, and waai fu was added early in year 1. gravel is built to facetank damage with her massive shield and to this day she remains undefeated in that role. red meanwhile is more damage oriented, meant to chip away at medium-threat targets with her s1 or do a bit of crowd control with her s2. waai fu follows this philosophy of having some defensive utility on her s1 (an atk debuff) to let her 1v1 medium-damage priority targets and crowd control utility on s2 (inflicting silence). their damage was never crazy high, their use was in crowd control including plugging leaks, reducing incoming damage through methods like debuffs or just baiting attacks, and taking out priority targets like elite casters or guerilla heralds at a lower cost than throwing a whole dreadnought guard at it.

then phantom released around the first anniversary as the first 6* of the archetype and his skills cover every job that you would previously need separate specialists for. his s1 tanks physical damage, his s2 lets him quickly handle medium-threat targets, and his s3 has crowd control in a large area. phantom on release was genuinely the pinnacle of fast-redeploy specialists because he was all of the other fast-redeploys in one, and you could deploy him twice to boot. despite this he still left reason to use the others instead of him if you really needed a specific bit of utility, and gravel in particular made it so his s1 was rarely actually used because she was just better at it. I consider this a good thing from a game design perspective, but I also believe this created this idea that phantom is (was) the best executor because he has more damage than the other executors, instead of because he's 2-4 utility units in a trenchcoat. phantom is an executor that is two executors.

in year 2 kafka released and she stuck with this idea of chipping away at enemies and doing funny crowd control with her weird range and sleep debuff. in philosophy she's still exactly what executors were originally supposed to be, bringing a new angle to the concept that doesn't clash with what the others were doing. kafka is an executor that is an executor.

skip forward to year 4 and we get texas, who despite everything still retains the shadow of the original spirit of the subclass. she has silence utility, she has the ability to pick off targets, she has crowd control. but it's year 4 and she's a limited operator, so she also deals more damage than all previous executors combined could ever dream of and also hits air with her stuns because we introduced an enemy gimmick where you want anti-air stuns since we last made an executor. her s2 does more single target dps than surtr s3 or so i've been told. texas is really more like a high damage guard cosplaying as an executor.

then only half a year after texas they bring in yato who just straight up does not even have utility, all she does is infinite fucking damage and her crowd control is killing the crowd dead. she's not an executor in the original sense, she's some other thing, like how mountain is a brawler that is not a brawler. but because she and texas released so closely together and both do so much damage, people now think that an executor's job is to deal a lot of damage and that the utility on texas is a bonus instead of part of the original conceit.

and it's this warped idea of executors that crownslayer is being compared to. crownslayer is doing exactly what executors have been doing from the start, namely taking out medium-threat priority targets, reducing incoming damage, and providing crowd-control utility. she's an executor that is an executor, same as phantom, but where phantom combined the at the time existing executors into his kit crownslayer instead looks at the functionality that executors are meant to provide and approaches it from a different angle. obviously I haven't actually used her myself because she just released on CN but on paper she looks incredibly well designed for her job of being an executor

[musings-of-a-rose]

Hi, just wanted to say that I love your work! Especially with Benny and Frankie so much that I have an idea for Benny! Female reader (not picky about the name) meets Benny at a bar days after she catches her now ex-boyfriend cheating on her and they hook up at his place, but she leaves before he wakes up. She later finds out she's pregnant but doesn't tell anyone who the father is. Months later while still pregnant, her friends convince her to come with them to see a MMA fight and low and behold Benny is there fighting. He doesn't see her at first, but when the fight ends (which he wins) he sees her and she leaves abruptly while hiding her stomach since she's wearing baggy clothing. However, Benny manages to catch up to her, where she reveals the news to him. They then talk some more at her place where he reveals to her that she's been on his mind ever since that night and begins the start of something new.

One Night Can Change Everything

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader 

Word Count: 6400+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Rea is a general nickname for a “reader” character that @mermaidxatxheart came up with and I think that’s genius! This is not beta’d.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

“Ok, that’s it. I’m making you get out of this bed now,” My best friend Sage declares as she towers over my bed, where I have lived for the past several days. Ever since I caught my boyfriend sleeping with my co-worker. Co-workerS.

Ex-boyfriend now, I suppose. 

I groan, attempting to roll over but Sage grabs my shoulder and flips me back over, digging her fingers lovingly into my skin. “I love you Rea, I do. But you have to get out of this bed. He’s not worth it.”

She’s right. I know she is. But we had been dating for nearly 2 years, mostly. It was on and off, but we had talked about marriage, kids, all of it. I thought he would be my forever but apparently, I was his “for now”. 

Fuck this asshole.

I sit up quickly, nearly colliding with Sage, and yank the covers off me, determination flooding my veins, choking out the hurt. For now, at least. 

“Alright, alright. I’m up.”

Sage points to the bathroom. “First, please take a shower. Then we’re going to Mick’s.” 

I’d almost forgotten about Mick’s, Sage’s favorite bar. Probably because it’s full of rugged, blue-collar men and Sage definitely has a type. Not that I can blame her. 

“Ok, but I’m just going for you. And science.”

Sage snorts. “Sure, Rea. Sure. Don’t forget to shave.”

—--------------

An hour later and I’m walking into Mick’s front door, loud music vibrating through me. It’s busy, but I’ve seen it busier and we manage to snag a couple of stools at the bar. Within 10 minutes, Sage is led to the dance floor by some burly lumberjack, complete with flannel shirt and all. I throw my hand up in the air in a “what about me” motion as she glances behind her, shrugging and gesturing around the room before focusing all of her attention on the flannel clad bear of a man in front of her, who is surprisingly agile. I turn back to the bar, taking my hand off the top of my glass, tossing the last of the liquid down my throat, coughing slightly at the burn. I set my glass down, my finger trailing along the rim, wondering if I should call an Uber or wait for my friend, when a man slides in next to me, flagging down the bartender. 

“5 beers, please.” His voice has a slight drawl to it, his tone warming me all over. 

“Seems a lot for one man.” Where the hell did that courage come from?

The man, clad in a button up light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up that opens to reveal a camo print shirt, turns his head to me and for what feels like days, I’m rendered speechless. This man is gorgeous - a sloping nose,  sandy blonde hair that flips out from behind his backward hat, some patchy facial hair, and the most intensely blue eyes I’ve ever seen. They glance quickly down my body and back up, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“Ain’t all for me, sweetheart. Got a table full of impatient assholes waiting for a beer.”

I cock my head to the side. “You lose a bet or something?”

The man tips his head back and laughs, his shoulders shaking with it and I feel my body tingle. I could listen to that sound forever. 

“How the hell did you know that?” His smile is wide, all of his attention on me, his eyebrows raised in question.

I shrug. “I’d send the guy who lost a bet to get the first round, at least.”

He chuckles. “Smart girl…I’m Ben. Friends call me Benny.”

I tell him my name. “But my friends call me Rea.”

“I like that. Nice to meet you, Rea.” He sticks his hand out to shake mine, but before I can, 4 beers slide in front of him and he glances down at them, his shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

Finding courage from somewhere, I lay my hand on his forearm and have to resist squeezing. “You have to go back so soon?”

He smiles again, the skin around his eyes crinkling with it. “Nah, sweetheart. I’ll be right back. Promise me you’ll wait right here?” There go the eyebrows again, pulling together and making him look like a puppy. Fuck I am so screwed.

“I’ll be waiting.”

He hesitates for a brief second before taking my hand and kissing the back of it. “Now that’s something to make a man move fast.” He winks, grabs the four beers, and heads off into the crowd, making his way towards the back of the room. Hate to see him leave, but damn I’m loving watching him go, his 6’3 frame easily visible over the crowd. He drops off the beers somewhere at the back of the room, turning quickly to push his way back through the crowd, his eyes locking on mine and giving me a sly smile. 

“You waited.” He slides back into the barstool next to me as I pull my leg from it, the universal gesture for this is saved.

Fuck his eyes are so blue. “You came back.”

A smile plays at the corner of his lips. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

I look down for a moment, my mind going back to my ex and all of his cheating, making me feel less than. Benny seems to sense something, his large hand hesitating a moment before he gently squeezes my arm. “You ok?”

I shake my head, my eyes locking back on his blues. “Yeah. I’m great now you’re here.”

Benny is easy to talk to, fun, and flirty. He’s in Delta Force, or was, with his actual brother, one of the men that he’d owed a beer to earlier. We talk about everything and anything, Benny eventually pulling me to the dance floor and whisking me about, sometimes dancing and other times being silly and smiling when I laugh. After several songs, we need a break, managing to snag a couple of stools at the bar, sipping on a couple of drinks. 

“So you live local?” He asks me, taking another swig from his beer.

I nod. “Yeah. I don’t typically come here, but my friend Sage dragged me out of the house.”

“Well remind me to thank her. She here?”

“Actually,” I turn and look out at the crowd for several moments, finally seeing her in the back corner, making out with Flannel Bear Man. I chuckle. “Yeah, she’s a little occupied.”

Benny chuckles, taking another swig of his beer, his free hand hesitating a moment before landing on my bare thigh, just above my knee. “Well I can keep you company.” 

His warm hand against my skin has my brain short-circuiting. I can’t think of what to say so I return his question. “Are you local?”

He nods, his thumb slowly rubbing circles across my skin. “Yeah. But some water main or somethin’ broke in my building. They put us all up in hotels until they fix it. Burst a few pipes.”

“Oh no! Is your stuff ok?” I place my hand over his on my leg, giving it a little squeeze and move it further up my thigh, heat immediately rushing to an area not far from where his hand is. 

He clears his throat. “Uh, y-yeah. Well, I had some water damage but didn’t lose anythin’ big. They just have to put down new floors.”

The music volume suddenly goes up by several volumes, turning the place into a mini club. Benny winces and I can see that it triggers him, the loud sounds and people becoming a little much. I lean in closer to his ear, gently rubbing circles into the back of his hand. 

“It’s too fucking loud! Wanna get out of here?” I pull my head back to look at him, our faces only an inch apart. His eyes flit between mine, briefly pausing on my lips.

“If you’re sure, hell yeah.”

I smile and he returns it before I lean back into his ear. “Let me flag my friend down and let her know. Stay right here so I don’t lose you.”

He turns his head, his nose brushing against my cheek. “I’ll be right here.” Hating that I have to move, I gently place his hand on his thigh and give him a wink before turning, scanning the corner where I had last seen Sage. She’s still there, Flannel Bear Man sucking on her neck. I force my way through the crowd and eventually emerge in front of her. Sage’s gaze takes a moment to settle on me.

“Rea! Where’ve you been?” She yells above the music.

I gesture to where I came from. “At the bar. Waiting for you.”

She gasps as Flannel Bear Man starts to bite her skin. “S-sorry, Rea. I-”

I cut her off, not wanting to intrude any longer. “No worries. I’m getting out of here. With a guy. I’ll get an Uber.”

Sage reaches out and grips my wrist, breaking the suction from Flannel Man who only seems to just realize I’m standing here. 

“A guy? You found someone? Do you need condoms?”

“Sage! I have to go!”

“Wait!” She pulls her clutch from somewhere and digs around in it, quickly sliding a few foiled square packages in my hand. “ Remember, it’s just a rebound. Don’t get attached. Have fun and be safe!”

I can’t help the heat in my cheeks, but I tuck the condoms in my bag. “Thanks. I’ll ping you my location.”

Sage releases my wrist and smiles at me before I turn back to Benny, shoving my way through more bodies on the dance floor. I emerge on the other side and see him still sitting where I left him, hat turned backward and looking so fucking hot. 

This is all so unlike me, but I like Benny. Sage’s words echo through my head “it’s just a rebound. Have some fun.”

I walk up to Benny and he turns his head, standing and giving me a wide smile. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”

I nod and he offers me his hand, which I happily accept, his touch warming me all over as he guides us through the crowd and out the front door, the volume immediately decreasing the moment the door closes behind us. 

“Now I can hear myself think!” Benny chuckles as he pulls my hand to his lips, lightly brushing them against my knuckles, his puppy dog eyes on mine. “Did you drive?

“Hhhm? Oh, uh no. Uber.”

Benny nods. “I have my jeep. I can drive us somewhere? Unless you’d feel safer using Uber?”

I study him for a moment, deciding that I trust him. “I love Jeeps.”

He smiles, his grip on my hand tightening slightly as he directs me to the parking lot, chatting a little too fast about his Jeep, like he’s nervous. He helps me into the passenger side, sliding across the hood to make it to the driver’s side quicker, smiling at my laugh. He starts the Jeep and gets the ac started before turning to me.

“Where to?”

It’s just a rebound. Have fun. “I’d love to see your hotel.”

His eyebrows raise, that same smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah? You don’t have to. I mean, we could just get a burger or somethin’.”

I look down at my hands in my lap. Did I misread the signals? He was definitely coming on to me, right? I wasn’t reading into that? Before I can spiral further, Benny puts his hand over mine. “Hey, look. I like you and think you’re fucking hot as hell and would love to take you to my room to uh, show you the room. But I don’t want to presume or make you feel obligated or anything.”

I would choose a fucking gentlemen for a rebound. Fuck. I close my hand over his and meet his eyes. “Thanks, Benny. I don’t want to push you or presume either.”

He chuckles once, removing his hand to put his Jeep in reverse and then back into drive. “Sweetheart, you can take advantage of me any day.”

That breaks the awkwardness and has us laughing, falling back into conversation easily as Benny navigates through traffic. Gently, I lay his hand on my bare thigh again, wrapping my hand over his. He’s talking about something, I honestly can’t focus because he’s started to move, his fingers tracing slow lines across my skin as his hand moves further up my leg, getting closer to where I desperately want him to be. We hit a red light and the Jeep goes quiet, Benny turning to look at me as he slides his hand further up, his pinkie finger just barely tracing the crease of my thigh, heat and wet pooling just beyond his touch. My lips part and I let out a gasp of air, my eyes finding his. 

There’s a moment of hesitation but then I grip his shirt, pulling him towards me, our lips crashing together. He nips at my bottom lip and I gasp, Benny taking full advantage to slide his tongue into my open mouth, a small moan escaping me. His free hand leaves the steering wheel to grip the back of my head, holding me to him as he explores my mouth. The car behind us honks and we jump apart, the light having already turned green. Benny sticks his hand up to apologize to the car behind us, driving on, but immediately places his hand back on me, this time, his pinkie grazes up my panties and I squirm a little in my seat, not used to this much attention. He stills his movements.

“Is it too much?” He’s actually concerned.

“More like, not enough.”

Benny makes it to his hotel in record time.

Heated touches and kisses down the hallway has Benny dropping his room key a few times. As he tries to jam it into the lock, I slide my hands around him from behind, moving up his stomach from under his shirt and fuck he has a nice body, my hands moving lightly over his toned chest. He finally jams the key into the lock and flings the door open, tossing his keys on top of the dresser. He spins back around to face me, his eyes blown wide and dark with lust. 

He swallows hard. “Are you…are you sure?”

I step close to Benny, gently take his wrist and turn his hand palm up. One hand still holding his, I open my bag and fish out one of the foil squares, and place the condom in Benny’s hand. He glances down at it before looking back at me, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

“Rea, did you get a condom from your friend?”

I can feel the heat blooming in my cheeks. “No! I mean, technically yes but she-”

He cuts me off with his lips, one hand wrapped around my head and the other grips my hips, fingers digging into my skin as he pulls me flush against him. I can feel him hard beneath his jeans and I moan into his kiss, pressing myself against him so I can try to relieve some of the rapidly increasing hear between my thighs. He moves us and I feel the bed hit the back of my knees, but he holds me tighter before breaking the kiss. Both of us rip the shirts from our bodies, my bra quickly following. I reach for my pants but he grabs my wrists and stills them, his blue eys falling to my chest. He gently cups a boob and lightly pinches the nipple and I gasp, the small movement shooting straight between my legs. 

Then Benny sinks to his knees, eye level with my pants. He pops open the button on my jeans, sliding them down my legs where I help him kick them off. His large fingers trace the outline of my panties, the heat pooling there as I gasp at his touch. He hooks his fingers into them and slides them down my legs too, his eyes locked on the space between my thighs. 

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” he half whispers. A half chuckle escapes me before it turns into a moan as he slides his nose up my slit, bumping into my clit. He growls, using my hips to push me down on the bed, tossing my legs over his shoulders like it was nothing. 

Which I have no time to think about because his mouth is on me, his hands on my inner thighs, pressing them further apart, widening his canvas. His tongue explores me, seeking all the areas that have me writhing under his firm grip. He somehow finds spots that I didn’t even know existed, sucking lightly, lapping, the coil of pleasure quickly tightening until a sound erupts from me, somewhere between a chant and a moan, my fingers gripping his hair to keep him in the same spot as he prolongs my release. 

My head is in a blissful haze, but I manage a whine as he pulls away from me, taking his pants off when he does. I hear the sound of the condom opening and I watch him as he rolls the condom on himself. I lean up on my elbows to see better, because he’s gorgeous, not girthy but longer, and definitely not anywhere near a size I’ve had in me. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take my time.” I blink, looking up at his face and see that there’s a hint of concern there, like he wants to make sure I’m comfortable.

I scoot further up on the bed to give him more space. “Don’t worry about me. I can take you.”

His eyes darken and he grabs my ankle, yanking me back down towards the end of the bed. I squeal, my body heating up again as he lowers himself between my legs. He pauses, his eyes bright as he glances between my own. 

“You’re so beautiful,” there’s that almost whisper voice again, his eyebrows pulling together so he looks like a puppy.

“So are you, Benny.” We take each other in for a few more moments, my body about to burst with all of the tension and hormones racing through it. “Now please fuck me, now.” I know I’m begging, but I don’t care. 

And neither does Benny, apparently, as he smirks. “Yes ma’am.”

He slowly presses his hips forward and I let out a moan as he stretches me, pushing further and further in. I’m not sure how, but he bottoms out, dropping his head to my chest, breathing heavy for a moment. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Gimme a sec so I don’t blow my load like a teenager.”

I manage some sort of confirmation sound, but then a moment later, he slowly pulls out and presses back in, repeating this a few times so I can adjust to his length. It’s driving me mad and I writhe under him, feeling every inch of him as he slowly moves in and out of me. He pulls out, his hips pausing as he looks down at me and it’s like time stops. Just for a moment. Then his lips crash to mine as he pushes forward quickly, sliding into me in one fast movement and I cry out, my hands gripping his biceps, nails digging into his skin as his hips set a fast pace, his direction and speed adjusting to my moans of pleasure. Every time he pushes in, he hits a spot somewhere at the back of me, a place no one has touched, and it sends sparks through my vision, my entire body like a livewire as he pushes me towards the edge.

“Fuck, Benny, I’m gonna-” my body ignites, pleasure radiating out from my cunt, his name tumbling from my lips in praise, begging him to keep going, or stop, or do it again. I have no idea, my head so engulfed in pleasure. 

“Fuck!” He yells, pressing into me one last time before he grunts, little pants and gasps tumbling from him. His head falls to my chest as he comes down. 

We stay like that for several moments, trying to catch our breath. Eventually, Benny pulls out, tossing the condom in the trash can by the bed before rolling onto his back next to me.

“What’s your third favorite dinosaur?”

I laugh, my entire body moving with it as Benny joins in, tears running down our cheeks as my movements turn me towards him. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that question, let alone just after sex.”

Benny shrugs, smiling. “Had to break the tension and awkwardness somehow.” 

“Well that definitely works!”

His face grows serious. “You didn’t answer the question.”

After that laughing fit, I think on it a moment. “Pterodactyl. Because they can fly.”

Benny nods. “Interesting. What’s your favorite then?”

“Nope. I’m saving that answer for after round 2.”

His eyes grow dark almost instantly. “Round 2? Like, tonight?”

“Well, my friend gave me a whole row of condoms and I don’t want to take any home.”

—----

A few hours later, I’m laying in Benny’s bed, thoroughly fucked, Benny sprawled across the bed on his stomach, lightly snoring. He’s so fucking beautiful. But then Sage’s words echo in my head “It’s just a rebound. Have fun and bounce.” I sigh, unsure of what to do. I actually do like Benny, but is that just because he’s the first guy to actually pay attention to me in a long while? Self-doubt seeps in, my ex’s hurtful words and actions taking away the blissful feeling I’d had moments before. I shake my head, telling myself that if any of it was true, I wouldn’t be in a gorgeous man’s bed, a man who just spent the last few hours pulling every spark of pleasure possible from me. 

I quietly stand, gathering up my clothes. I get them on and lace up my boots, trying not to wake Benny. It’s better if I leave before he wakes up. Rebounds don’t work out anyway, so why prolong the inevitable? 

I turn to head towards the door and see the hotel pad of paper and pen next to the phone on the dresser. I stare at it a moment before grabbing the pen, scrawling a quick “Thank You” with a heart at the end. I slide it under his keys and walk to the door, glancing back at the sleeping form of Benny, the man who just restored my confidence. I close it quietly behind me, making sure the lock clicks into place and request an Uber to take me home. 

—----

Over the next few weeks, I try to get Benny out of my head. I try to stop thinking about him or talking about him. I know he’s a rebound, and those relationships don’t work out, as Sage has reminded me more than once. And I’m not sure I’m ready for a new relationship. I think. But talking to him had been so easy, effortless. Like we had been friends since forever. In a moment of desperation, I looked up the hotel on my Uber app and called it, knowing they wouldn’t give me any information about Benny. I can’t blame them. I don’t even know his last name. 

—----

2 lines. The pink lines emerge bright against the white of the testing stick, showing me the same result as the other 4 pregnancy tests I’d taken. My stomach lurches again and I make it to the toilet just in time. I close the lid and flush, wiping my mouth with a washcloth as I stare at my reflection. How the fuck did this happen? We’d used a condom every time, and he used them correctly. It must have been a faulty condom. Fuck, Benny. How am I going to tell him? No really, how? I don’t even know his last name and now I’m having his child. A knock at the door pulls me from my spiral.

“Rea?”

I sniff and wipe my face again. “Pregnant.”

She’s silent for just a beat. “Can I come in?”

I make a noise in approval and she opens the door, heads directly for me and pulls me into a hug where I let myself lose it. Tears streaming down my face, dry heaving breaths, all of it. It takes me a while to calm down enough to talk. Sage wipes my face with a cool cloth and it helps to soothe me a bit more. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

I scoff. “How, Sage?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Call the hotel? They have to have his info.”

I shake my head. “They won’t give it to me. Especially since I don’t know his last name.”

Sage cocks her head to the side. “How do you know?”

“Oh. I uh, I may have called a few weeks ago to uh try and uh…find. Him.”

She opens her mouth and then closes it. “That doesn’t really matter now. Do you know what you want to do?”

There’s so much I don’t know. I don’t know Benny’s last name. I don’t know where he lives, just that it’s local. I don’t know what he’d even say. I don’t know how this happened. I don’t know a lot. But there’s one thing that I did know right away.

“I’m keeping the baby.”

Sage takes a deep breath and nods once. “I can’t wait to be an auntie.”

—----

“Come on, Rea! You need to get out.”

I sigh, rubbing the side of my belly. “I’m 6 months pregnant, Sage. I don’t belong at an MMA fight.”

Sage copies my sigh and places her hand over mine. “You’ve been cooped up in your room for weeks. Just…come out to get some fresh air?”

“By sitting in a crowded auditorium surrounded by drunks?”

Sage shrugs. “I’m sure they won’t be drunk drunk. Besides, Henry has a special section all roped off just for us.” 

Henry is super sweet. The burly bear sized, flannel clad man from Mick’s had fit right into our friendship, even becoming a sort of surrogate brother for me. And it’s clear to me that he loves Sage with everything he is just by the way he looks at her.

I sigh again, shrugging in a defeated manner. Sage squeals and grips my arm. “Thank you! Oh, you’ll have fun! Just wait and see!”

So now I find myself in a crowded auditorium, surrounded by people drinking. Well, ok the crowd isn’t bad around us. Sage was right - Henry had literally roped off an entire section just for us and glared at anyone who tried to grumble about it. He was really into MMA and had a couple of cousins that were fighting so he always had tickets to some match that was happening. Are they called matches? I don’t know. 

Whatever they’re called, we’re a few in, Henry leaning over to tell us about each of the fighters as they’re announced. These matches are pretty brutal - I didn’t realize just how violent they can get, even with rules in place. The last match ends and the guy with the mop comes back out, cleaning away the blood that came from the last guy losing several teeth with a blow. Once cleaned, the microphone squeaks back on to announce the next fighters.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing 6’3, weighing in at 195 pounds, I give you BEN MILLER!”

A familiar memory scratches at the back of my head as the crowd screams and the doors open from the locker rooms somewhere in the throngs of people now on their feet. Henry leans in to yell in my ear.

“This guy is great! He’s kicked my cousin’s asses a few times! He…”

Whatever he said after fades into the background, which has dimmed to a loud hum, as Ben Miller struts into the ring, tossing his shirt to the side, revealing a very familiar tattoo and his face finally comes into my view.

Benny. 

My stomach leaps into my throat, my heart hammering through my chest as I stare down at the man who I could never shake from my mind, even before I was having his child. Which he doesn’t know about. 

A bell dings and Benny takes a few steps towards his opponent, who immediately clocks him in his jaw, Benny’s head flying backwards. The man manages to get a couple more hits in, Benny almost absorbing all of the hits. But then the man hesitates and Benny takes that moment to attack, winding his way around the ring, jabbing at his opponent in swift, concise, planned motions. The man only stays up for a few more seconds before crumbling to the ground and giving in. The crowd goes wild as the ref holds Benny’s arm in the air, blood trickling down from his nose, a giant smile on his face. My stomach lurches and I quickly stand, yelling something about the bathroom to Sage as I grab my jacket and run for the doors, the room suddenly too small and loud. I shove open the arena’s double doors and stumble out into the nearly empty hallway. The doors close behind me and I pause a moment, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. But then the doors open behind me again and I attempt to stand up right.

“Rea?”

Benny’s voice echoes down the hallway and through me, my insides simultaneously tightening with nerves but also excited and swooning at his fucking calming tone. My back is to him but I don’t move. He takes a step closer.

“Rea? Is that you?”

Fuck. This isn’t how I would want him to find out. But how would he find out? It’s not like I could find him. I didn’t even know his last name. I don’t-

“Are you ok?”

His voice is closer now, only a few steps behind me. I swallow hard, willing myself to hold it together as I turn to face him, keeping my jacket covering my belly. His bright blue eyes immediately find mine, a smile quicking spreading across his beautiful face. He’s still shirtless and I have to focus to keep my eyes on his face.

“Rea! It is you! I thought I saw your face in the crowd! Did you see me fight?”

I manage a small smile. “Y-yeah. I did. Congrats.”

He shrugs. “Thanks. That guy was easy but when I saw you, I thought maybe he’d hit my head harder than I thought. What…I mean uh, how are you?”

I sigh, my small smile dropping. “I…I have to tell you something.”

His expression turns serious. “Ok. But if it’s about me not calling you, you sort of left me without a last name or number.” He chuckles but stops when I don’t react. 

I hold his gaze a moment longer before letting my jacket fall to the side, exposing my belly under my form fitting black dress. His eyes immediately fall to my belly, his head turning to the side as he takes it in. I can see the moment it clicks, only a second or 2 after I moved my jacket, his eyes widening as his brain works double time to do the math. He points to himself.

“Is that…am I…the dad?”

I nod, rubbing my hand along the side of my belly where the baby is currently moving. “Yes.” I wait for the yell or scoff of disbelief, storming off, telling me I won’t get anything. All of what I had anticipated. But when I look up at him I see tears shining in his bright blues.

“You’re not fuckin’ with me?” His eyebrows pinch together, enhancing the shine from his tears and I shake my head.

“No. You’re the only one I’ve been with since my ex.”

His eyes shift down to my belly again and his hands start to reach out, but then he stops, looking back up at me. “May I?”

I give him a small smile and nod. “Yeah.”

Benny drops to his knees in front of me, placing each of his large hands on either side of my belly, rubbing small circles into my skin. I take his hand and move it, placing it right over where I’d just felt movement. 

“He was just kicking over here.”

His eyes shoot up to mine. “A boy? I’m gonna have a son?”

Fuck how can his eyebrows do that? “Yeah. A son.”

And the tears start to fall, quietly streaking down his cheeks as he laughs, trying to dab at them with the hand I hadn’t just moved. “Hey, little man. It’s me. Your dad.” A hard kick lands right in Benny’s hand and he whoops, rubbing the spot with his thumb. “You got your old man’s feet!” He continues to talk to my belly in the middle of the hallway, not caring if anyone sees him. His face is animated and lit up, despite the dried blood caked under his nose and for a second, I can see an entire future laid out before us. A wedding, a house, dancing together, maybe more kids. The love. It’s only when I snap out of this fairytale vision that I realize I was smoothing back his hair. I yank my hands back and drop them to my sides.

“Shit I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

He glances up at me. “Nah it’s ok. Actually, it felt good.” He watches me for a moment before his expression hardens. “Ok I need to get off this floor.”

He waves away my offer of a helping hand, gesturing towards my belly as he groans, standing to his full height before stretching out his legs. “I’m gettin’ too old to be kneeling on hard ass floors.”

We’re quiet for several moments, each of us just watching the other. 

“Why did you leave without sayin’ anything?”

I take a deep breath. “Benny, I…I’m sorry. I thought about you after that night. A lot. My friend had told me to just make it a rebound, to get my ex out of my head. Which it did, but what I didn’t expect was..well..you. I liked, well…like you a lot. You make me laugh, have some amazing stories, you’re funny, and hot as hell. But you also make me feel seen and heard. Like I wasn’t just there for convenience, which is ironic considering how we met, I realize that. I thought about trying to find you but the hotel wouldn’t tell me anything and I didn’t have anything to go by. And then I found out I was pregnant and I feel so guilty for not t- telling y- you, but I di-didn’t know h-how. I’m so s-s-sorry!” I can’t fight the pregnancy hormones anymore and the tears come, streaming down my face as I try to turn away, looking down and wiping furiously at my face. But then he’s there, pulling me towards him as best he can, his hand cradling the back of my head. 

“Hey, it’s ok. I never did tell you my last name or ask for your number neither. I could’ve but I didn’t.” My crying slows and he pulls back just enough to look down at me, wiping away a tear. “And I’ve regretted it ever since. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you either, Rea. But I really had no way of finding you. But now that we’ve found each other again, can I have your number? I’d really like to take you to dinner.”

I let out a shaky chuckle. “It’s ok, Benny. You don’t have to do that.”

He cocks his head. “Do…what?”

“Take me to dinner. Listen, you can be as involved as you want. I won’t hold you to anything. I just wanted you to know. But you don’t have to-”

“No. I’m not asking you out because you’re pregnant. I’m asking you out because I’ve wanted to for months and regretted it every day that I didn’t.”

“Benny, really. It’s ok.”

“No, I- will you wait right here a moment?”

I nod and he places his hand on my belly once more, his son giving him another thump before he practically runs back through the double doors. Once they close, I walk over to the wall and lean my back against it, my emotions running through me. Is he telling the truth? Were we both just fucking idiots? That’s an obvious yes. But still, I don’t want him to feel like he owes me. It would be nice to hang with him again, though. No, Rea. Don’t make him feel forced. The double doors fly open and Benny comes running up to me, his wallet in his hand. 

“I don’t need money, Ben-”

He shakes his head. “No. Well I mean if you need it, I’ll gladly give it but that’s not…here.” He slides out a small slip of paper from behind his driver’s license and unfolds it, handing it to me. 

It’s the thank you note I scribbled to him and left in the hotel.

Tears well in my eyes again. “You..you kept this?” 

His eyes sparkle as they look at me. “Hell yeah I did. I told you, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. But I had no way of findin’ you. I went to the bar every night hoping to see you walk in. But I never did.”

“I got too busy with work and then..” I gesture down to my belly and he laughs, placing a hand on my stomach again.

“Yeah I can’t blame you for not wanting to be in a bar. Especially your first trimester.”

My eyebrows raise. “What do you know about trimesters?”

“My sister was a hot fuckin’ mess during hers. Sick all the time, emotional, all of it. She felt bad about it too no matter how much we told her not to worry. My niece is 5 now and has the attitude to match.” He chuckles. “I can’t wait to meet this little guy..my little guy. Ours? Fuck this is hard to say.”

“Either way, I’m just glad you can say it.” I clutch the paper in my hand for a moment before handing it back to him. 

“So when’s that dinner?”

We’re married a year later. 

---------------------------------

General Taglist:

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[mochiwonz]

♡ ─── you love me too ?

content : fem!reader x lee heeseung , fluff , cursing , skinship (kissing , hugging etc) heeseung is older than reader by 2 years , he babies her a litttleee , hes also kind-of a flirt and doesn't rly realize it ♡

word count : 1.1k

note : wrote this with orange haired hee in mindddd :3 i apologize for any grammar mistakes and this is my first time actually writing a fic, so pls don't hate me if this is complete ass !! (leave some notes or reblog if you enjoy :D)

Another agonizing day at the coffee shop. Disrespectful people were definitely the absolute fucking worst. Just because you're serving them drinks doesn't mean they get to treat you like shit. God, you just wanted to be in his arms, having him caress your hair and sit with you while he listened to you ramble on and on about how terrible work is. Heeseung always made you feel validated, like your feelings were real feelings and that they actually mattered. You sigh as you text him for the sixth time today "hey hee, i'm home..where are you? txt me plz" At this point, you're getting worried. He's supposed to be home, he always answers your texts.

*Ping!* Oh shit, it could either be your boss or heeseung. "Please be hee please be hee!!" you say out loud, hoping it'll do something. You slowly pick up your phone, hands shaking, and-"YES ITS HEE!!!!!! FINALLY oh my god" His text read "hey sweets <3 sorry for not responding...was busy doing smth at the salon. c u soon!" What? Salon? When has he ever been to the salon?....oh. The last time he went was when he dyed his hair back to black. Oh shit, you're in big. fucking. trouble. God knows how much you love and adore and want heeseung, who wouldn't? He's like an angel, perfect nose with big bambi eyes, tall, and has the most beautiful smile you've ever laid on eyes. One problem though, he's your bestfriend. Bestfriend of 4 years, actually. Bestfriends don't like eachother like that. It's fine, you just have a little crush...it's not like you love love him, right? Plus, he probably doesn't even want you like that.

Right as you were about to make your way to the shared bathroom, you hear a sound. Footsteps. Footsteps that could only belong to lee heeseung. Fuck. "Hey sweets" he says, and you can hear his grin. Surprised, not expecting his voice to be all up in your ear, you quickly turn around. Oh. My. God. You're faced with a grinning heeseung with......orange hair?! "YOUR HAIR IS ORANGE??" you exclaim, quite loudly...sounding a bit too excited. He chuckles a little, and holy fuck he looks absolutely delicious. "Yeah sweets, whatcha ya think?" What do you think??? You think you're 1. about to fucking explode, 2. lunge at him because he's so fucking fine, and 3. cum in your pants. Or all of them at once!

"Oh yeah, right uhm it looks fine!" God, you made it so obvious. "You sure? You seem like you're lying sweets." he says while looking deeply into your eyes with his beautiful bambi eyes and playing with his new orange hair. You swear he's purposely doing this. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, fuck. Get ahold of yourself y/n. "Hee, of course i'm not lying. You look good, really good actually..." Shit, shit, shit. Why did you add that last part?? All you want to do right now is dig a hole into the ground and bury yourself.

You hadn't realized you'd been looking at the ground for a whole minute - sucked into your thoughts, until heeseung put his big hands on your chin and lifted your face to meet his.

"Yeah? I look really good?" he questions, voice laced with some sort of excitement. And as soon as your eyes meet his, he smiles. And all of a sudden, you realize, you don't have a crush on this man. You're whipped for him, you're in love with lee heeseung.

"Yeah..." you say under your breath. "Well thanks sweets, means alot coming from you, you know that right?" he tells you, with a sweet voice - almost cooing.

You don't respond, you can't respond. You're flustered as fuck. The man you realized that you're in love with, is less than 2ft away from you and almost...flirting...with you?

Almost a whole minute of silence goes by, nobody moves. Pained from the awkward silence, you decide to say something.

"Hey hee?.." you say, voice sounding small. "Mhm?" he hums, interested in what you're going to say next. "So okay, how do I say this. I think i'm in love with you. Actually, wait no, scratch that shit, i'm so fucking in love with you. I don't know if you even see me like that. You're so perfect inside and out, the man of my dreams actually. I don't even know what to do with myself when i'm around you. When you talk to me in a gentle voice or comfort me when i'm upset, all I want to do is kiss you. And I knoww this is cringey as fuck but I can't help it" you say, now out of breath from your rapping. (LMAOO<33)

Heeseung has an expression on his face that you can't seem to put your finger on. Shocked, unhappy, confused...you don't know. Before you could come up with any negative thoughts, he finally talks.

"Sweets...you mean that?" he asks, voice just as gentle as before, if anything - even more gentle. Can he stop staring at you like that? You're on the verge of exploding.

"Of course I mean it, dumbass." He giggles in response, and then brings his left hand onto your head as if he's patting your head and right hand to your cheek, softly caressing it with his thumb. "Fuck, I love you so much beautiful. And you're right, i'm a complete dumbass. I waited way too long to confess, i'm sorry sweets." he says, smiling at you and you swear you can see hearts in his eyes.

"Wait...you love me too?"

Instead of responding to you, he brings you closer to him. You can feel his hand slowly moving from the top of your head to your waist. To not make it awkward, you bring your arms around his neck, causing you to tippy toe a little. He has the softest smile on his face. You thought you were in love with him? God, he is so in awe of you and your beauty. You probably weren't even aware that your cheeks were all pink and adorable.

You watch his eyes move from your lips to your eyes and back to your lips. "Sweets, can I kiss you? Wanna know how you taste so bad."

And shit, how could you ever say no to him?

"Yes, please kiss me" you say in response, sounding desperate(as fuck).

As soon as he hears the "yes" slip out of your beautiful lips, he's quick to bring your faces closer together and close the gap. And fuck, his lips are perfect. It's like your lips were made for his and his were made for yours. Both of you were savoring this moment, your very first kiss with the man of your dreams, lee heeseung. Once you were out of breath, you finally pulled away - a string of saliva connecting your guys' lips.

Wasting no time, he picks you up as if you were as light as a feather, and spins you around like the princess you are. "I can finally call you my girl and my princess, and kiss you whenever I want!!" he exclaims, and you can tell hes smiling hard. You laugh, feeling the happiest you've felt in forever. You look down to see him smiling at you, looking at you as if you were unreal. An angel. His angel ♡

(oh my god LMAO hope this isn't too bad :p my other works are here <33)

[wild-typo-turtle]

Threads - Part 11

Explicit (slow burn, 18+ only) - Rings of Power - Gil-galad x OFC (Elf)

Includes S2E8 of Rings of Power - spoilers ahoy!

Gil-galad had only taken a handful of steps when his gaze passed over yet another collapsed building. From the looks of things, it had once been an open, airy shop that had faced directly into the plaza. The roof had caved in, creating dusty shadows, and even his keen eyes might have missed the slumped figure had he not heard the tiny whimper from the darkness.

Eregion has been destroyed; Sauron is gone. And yet, the sun still shines, as the ruined city holds the last thing that High King Gil-galad had ever expected to find.

Themes: #Idiots in love, #love at first sight, #soulmates, #smut with feelings, #fix-it, #everybody lives

Content Warnings: Explicit content (parts 9 and 11), canon-typical violence; loss of parents; grief/mourning. This chapter also contains very light smut.

Tag List: @morganas-pendragons, @stellar-solar-flare, @the141bandicoot; @inyx-writes44, @melmel-fandom, @hufflepufferine, @shadows-and-flowers, @xcrybaby555x, @bespectacledhuman

Face claim: Keri Russell as Linnea

Part 1 (includes A/N and credits), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 (contains smut), Part 10

A/N: Well, I'm sorry everyone - I know I promised the wedding for the next chapter, but the file hit 10k and the flow was terrible, and so the first part is what you're getting now. I still plan to get the actual wedding out this week, likely Friday or Saturday! Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter. -WTT

Part 11

The afternoon sun bathed the weaving room, painting it in shades of soft, hazy pink and gold. The fabrics on the looms shone in the light; Linnea was working a white velvet on the velvet loom, and on the regular loom, she was just beginning a new test fabric in shades of grey. The sunlight turned it brighter, almost purple; she was mixing linen and wool for a soft, easy drape. And if she was successful with the charms she had planned, it would be a pattern she would share with the weavers that helped clothe the army.  

Her eyes anxiously passed over it. Her hands, idle now, twitched to work, to let out the nervous energy that filled her.

But this day was not a day for weaving.

Adabes and the servants had done their work well. All was in readiness; a sideboard had been moved into the room, and was laid with fruit and bread and cheese and various other refreshments. Wine had been set out, as well as water flavored with mint and lemon. The weaving room itself was immaculately clean, all of the tools and supplies neatly put away, all of the scraps of fabric and ends of threads swept up. 

A book sat on the table next to her, but she barely recalled the title. She had brought it to distract herself while she waited, but she might as well not have taken the trouble. There was no distraction possible.

Fortunately, she did not have to wait for long.

A stamp on the landing alerted her to the first of the arrivals, and her ears strained for a hint as to who it might be. She heard heavy boots, grunts - 

A fist thumped on the door, and it swung inward.

“The Princess Disa, of the Dwarven realm of Khazad-dûm.”

Linnea rose, and as she did so, the princess stepped into the weaving room. 

She was dressed in light grey, a silken fabric that flowed around her figure and draped in a way that made Linnea want to examine the weaving much more closely. And there was gold upon her everywhere: a heavy gold pectoral necklace with triangular pendants dangling from it, as well as gold bracelets, gold beads upon her gown, and even gold paint staining her thick dark hair and her fingers.  

Linnea wondered if such a thing had ever happened before. Disa’s husband, Prince Durin, had met and treated with Gil-galad. But had there ever been a meeting of an Elven queen and a Dwarf princess? If there had, it had surely been hundreds of years ago.

Disa stopped after a few steps, and she curtseyed deeply as the door shut behind her. 

“Lady Linnea,” she said. “On behalf of all Khazad-dûm, I thank you for welcoming me into your halls.”

It had been a careful plan that they had made together, herself and Gil-galad, debating various strategies for how they might receive the most important of their guests. They had considered a more formal dinner for this last night before the wedding, but had eventually settled on separate, more casual affairs, Linnea with the women and Gil-galad with the men. Even now, he was likely greeting Prince Durin, as well as the Elven lords that had also arrived in the last two days.

She supposed she should be grateful that there were fewer women for her to manage. Oropher had brought his queen, and his son had come as well, but Thranduil was not yet wed. And the lord of Lórien’s wife had perished some time ago. She had extended the invitation to Commander Galadriel, and to the commander of the Eastern Armies as well, but all told, she would not be working as hard as Gil-galad.

And with that thought, part of her regretted the other decision that they had made concerning that evening.  

She would not go to him that night. They would not take their tea together; they would not discuss their days; there would be no shared pleasure. They would stay and sleep apart, this final night. They would rise separately and prepare for the wedding, and only once they were ready would they see each other again.  

She knew her bed would feel empty without him. It had been easy to grow accustomed to his warmth next to her, the sound of his soft breath as he slept. But it added weight, if any needed to be added, that this was the very last night she would sleep alone. 

And besides that, it was probably a good idea to stay apart, after what had happened the previous night. After how near she had come to be standing there, greeting the Princess Disa, as a married woman. 

It is the second time Ereinion has done this. The first had had her nearly cracking her own spine in half at the feel of his tongue between her legs. And while that first time had been pleasurable beyond belief, it is even better now; with repetition comes perfection, and she lies there moaning and incoherent as he tastes her. Her slender legs are over his broad shoulders and his hand teases, two fingers slowly slipping in and out of her in rhythm with his lips and tongue. 

And once she’s had her pleasure, he slides up her body for a deep kiss. Neither of them is wearing much at all, and he’s on top of her, and her thighs are tight around his hips, and it would be so easy. 

So easy.

He looks into her eyes, and a word from her would shatter his resolve - what is left of it. She looks back at him, and a word from him would shatter hers.

And perhaps that knowing, that unwillingness to speak it but willingness to accept it, is what stops them in the end. What has him rolling off of her, wrapping trembling arms around her trembling self, holding her until the fire ebbs a little and they both have their breath back.  

It is not much longer to wait. 

She drew in a breath, and made her own curtsey to Disa, whose eyes widened at the movement. 

“Princess,” Linnea murmured. “You are most welcome, and I thank you for gracing my hall with your company.”

As they took each other's measure, she found that she liked the look of this Disa. Elrond had returned late last night, with Disa and Durin accompanying him; this was the first sight Linnea had had of the Dwarf princess. She had met more Dwarves than most Elves, due to the merchants that had frequented Eregion, and their ways were not so strange to her. There was a strength about the princess that ran as deep as the mountain she called home; she could be a formidable ally, if the seeds that Linnea was planting eventually bore fruit.

Disa smiled, folding her hands in front of her. “My husband may have made his grand protests, but he understood the honor you showed us with the invitation. If he'd kept saying no, I would have dragged him here by his beard. And he would have thanked me for it in the end.”

Linnea laughed; the words conjured an image of herself doing the same with Gil-galad, only by his hair. She wasn't at all sure she'd win that fight, although it might be rather amusing to attempt it.

“Please,” she urged. “Help yourself to refreshment, if you like. I am sure you must be tired from the journey.”

Disa needed no further encouragement. She made her way to the sideboard, looking appreciatively at the array of food that was laid out. “We did keep a fast pace. No time to spare, to get here in time. And we'll be needing to head home again as soon as the wedding is over.”

Linnea nodded. She could guess the reasoning behind it, the maneuvering for the throne that they had heard whispers of even in Lindon. Gil-galad’s thought to use their wedding as a message, inviting the prince and throwing their support behind the candidate most friendly to Elves, had been a sound one. Part of her disliked that they had to consider such things, but the rest of her knew that that was the life she had chosen. Almost everything would be political now.

“Then I shall do everything I can to ensure you enjoy your time here,” she said, smiling as Disa took a plate and began heaping it full. 

“You've certainly made a good start,” the princess said, popping a piece of cheese in her mouth. “A full stomach goes a long way to ensuring a smooth road.” 

Linnea chuckled again. Now that this first greeting was over, her nervousness was beginning to settle down, and she felt confident enough to join Disa at the sideboard and pour herself a glass of wine. She watched as the princess turned, starting to glance around the room even as she ate, and her heart fluttered with pride at the look on Disa’s face. The Dwarf woman was impressed. 

Her eyes landed on the frame loom, and she let out a satisfied sound. “I knew I'd like you when Elrond said you were a weaver,” she said, beginning to walk to the loom. “Do ye know what it's going to be yet?”

Linnea nodded, walking over to join Disa at the loom. “If all goes well, it will become the pattern for a cloak for Lindon's armies. It is something my mother was very gifted at - laying protective charms on the threads. I learned much from her.”

Disa's brows lifted, and the impressed look was back on her face. “I thought I could feel something from it. There's a sort of vibration, isn't there?”

Linnea knew that other Elves could feel the art to varying degrees, depending on their sensitivity. Most would have at least a feeling of safety and protection. But to actually sense the charms at work? She could do it, especially if it was the art of someone she knew well, like her mother and father. So could other weavers. But a Dwarf? 

She groped for words, stunned almost beyond speech. “How is it you can feel it?” she managed. 

Disa smiled, satisfied to be affirmed. “We Stone Singers use our voices to resonate with the mountain that is our home. Aulë granted us the gift to sing to the rock so that we may take from it properly and know where best to leave it undisturbed. This fabric has a song of its own, for those with the ear to hear it.”

A thousand questions leapt to Linnea's mind. If she had had her way, she would have spent every moment until the wedding the next day interrogating Disa about what exactly a Stone Singer was and what resonating meant. A fancy crossed her thoughts of arranging a visit to Khazad-dûm; the logistics and politics of an Elven queen visiting the Dwarves were second to wanting to witness this stone singing for herself. 

But then Disa hummed.

Linnea felt the fabric come to life at the sound, as brief as it was. The charms she had laid so far were subtle, more experimentation than anything else. But at the sound of Disa’s voice, the intensity increased tenfold; she could feel the faint protections even without touching the fabric. The magic radiated off the cloth, rolling off it in waves. 

Disa’s eyes had gone wide. She could feel it too.

All thoughts of propriety fled from Linnea’s head. She rushed to the loom, laying her hands on the fabric, the better to feel what was happening. 

“Forgive me, my lady,” Disa was stammering. “I did not know - “

“No.” Linnea was running her hands over the cloth, only half-hearing. “No, do that again…please…”

Disa hesitated, but finally did as asked. She hummed again, louder that time, and there was more effort behind it. The hum had dimension, and the fabric responded accordingly; it was like sunlight striking a piece of crystal, scattering rainbows in all different directions. 

She couldn’t help the smile, the grin that came to her lips, as the hum faded. She turned to Disa standing next to her, and the look between them transcended any and all difference between Elf and Dwarf.

There was another strike upon the door.

“Queen Tinnaril, of the Woodland Realm.”

Linnea straightened up, trying to calm her expression. The weaver in her grumbled at the interruption, wanting to ask Disa to hum again, perhaps even sing - and the rest of her laughed at that part, that she could even think of wanting a queen to leave her alone.

But she was a queen now, too. Or would be, by this same time tomorrow.

Tinnaril came through the door, her face betraying nothing of her thoughts - not even when she saw Disa standing by Linnea’s side at the loom. The queen of the Greenwood was of a height with Linnea herself; they were Sindar kin, smaller and shorter than their Noldor brethren. Tinnaril’s hair was icy blonde, the same as both her husband and her son, and her leaf-green eyes were shuttered as they swept about the room.

She was clad plainly. Oropher had desired to live a simpler existence than the rest of the Sindar and the Noldor, and his followers had merged with the Silvan elves of the Greenwood many years ago. Tinnaril’s gown was a sage green fabric, without embroidery or jewels; the cut fit her well, and she wore a filigreed silver circlet, but otherwise there was nothing to suggest that she was royalty.

Linnea had known such, and had dressed carefully for the day so as not to make Tinnaril feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Her gown was one of the simplest she owned now, a dusky lavender with only a small amount of gold detailing around the cuffs and the neck, and she had bade Pendes forgo any jewels in her hair. The only concession she had made to ornament was the thin gold circlet tucked in her curls.

Tinnaril had stopped a few steps from the door, and she carefully folded her hands in front of her. “Forgive me for the interruption,” she said, her voice even and calm. “I was unaware you were occupied, Lady Linnea.”

“No - of course not, you do not interrupt.” Linnea moved away from the loom, extending her hands. “Be welcome, my lady. And thank you for making the journey.”

Slowly, Tinnaril took the offered greeting. Her hands were cool and smooth in Linnea’s; she squeezed for precisely the correct amount of time, and then released.

Oropher and Tinnaril had arrived two days ago, and since then, Tinnaril had kept to herself. Linnea had sent messages of welcome, invitations to meet, but all of them had gone unanswered save this one. She wondered if Tinnaril had only come now out of a feeling of obligation. She had asked Gil-galad to tell her of the queen, that she might know what to expect, but he had had as little to offer as Arondir all those months ago.

I am sorry, melethel. I have met her seldom, and she spoke but few words. She lives apart from court. 

Linnea had known that from Arondir, but had still shaken her head in amazement, wondering how such could be. She could not imagine wanting to live apart from Gil-galad, and he had smiled when she had said so.

Nor I you. May the Valar grant that it is always so between us, my love.

Tinnaril was still standing there just looking at her, and Linnea fumbled for words. “Queen Tinnaril, this is Princess Disa, of Khazad-dûm. She and her husband Prince Durin are great friends of Lord Elrond.”

“I see.” 

Disa made another curtsey - although Linnea noticed that it was much shallower than the one the princess had given to her. “Your Grace.”

Tinnaril raised one thin blonde brow, making no move to return any sort of gesture, and Linnea fought the urge to gulp. There had been conflict between Oropher’s people and the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm; Oropher had moved his rule ever northward to avoid the expansion of the Dwarf realm. Linnea had counted on the goodwill of the wedding keeping things civil - as indeed it had, with helping to mend the rift between Durin and Elrond after Eregion.

Perhaps this had been too much to ask, as she beheld the chill in Tinnaril’s eyes. But on the other hand, she wasn’t leaving. 

“Do you practice a craft, my lady?” she asked, desperately trying to find words to fill the silence. “I believe you are aware I am a weaver. Princess Disa and I were just speaking of her art as well - she is what the Dwarves call a Stone Singer. I was not familiar with such.“

Disa nodded eagerly; clearly she felt the tension in the room as much as Linnea did. For a moment, Linnea appreciated the ludicrousness of the situation; she was more allied with a Dwarf princess than a queen of her own kind. 

“It isn’t spoken of much outside of our own people,” Disa said. “The work of the Stone Singers is sacred. We safeguard the mountain, and in return, it allows us to call it our home.”

Tinnaril’s lip curled slightly. “Your work has borne fruit, it would seem. We hear the ceaseless noise of Khazad-dûm throughout the Woodland Realm.”

Linnea’s throat tightened again, and her heart sank. Gil-galad had been working so hard to forge an alliance with Oropher; the Woodland Elves were proud and distant, those ties were as fragile as the finest-spun silk. This couldn’t be helping matters at all; for all she knew, she was not just breaking those thin threads but setting them aflame.

She had been shocked before. She had spent most of the last months in a state of disbelief. But what Tinnaril did next outstripped it all.

The Woodland queen turned, and Linnea's heart sank even further; she hadn’t thought that that was possible. She could feel Disa’s worried eyes on her as Tinnaril walked back towards the door, and she tried to think of something to say, anything - 

Tinnaril swung the door open, and she leaned out to catch the attention of the guards outside.

“Send to my rooms,” she commanded. “Fetch my harp. The brown leather case, near the hearth.”

Linnea stared. Disa stared.

The door swung closed again, and Tinnaril turned back to face them.

“I have lived with Dwarven noise all my days,” she said firmly. “If I must continue to be subjected to it, I would know whether there is any pleasantry to be had. My craft is my music, Lady Linnea, and if the princess consents to it, we shall make some together.”

Linnea turned slowly to Disa, who looked as stunned as she herself felt. The princess could not manage words; she simply nodded. 

Tinnaril’s lip curled again. But this time, there was warmth to it.

“Very well.”

It was long hours later when Linnea finally sat at her dressing table, letting Pendes comb out her hair. 

They had indeed made music. She herself could sing well enough, although nothing compared to Disa, but had no skill with an instrument. And so she had been content to watch and listen, and weave a little, as the queen and the princess had passed the hours in song. Galadriel had come by, as well as a few others, and they had enjoyed the music and refreshments. But none had remained for very long. 

It had reminded her of her parents’ shop, on those occasions when they had hosted musicians. The fabrics had seemed to weave themselves of their own accord, with the distraction of the melodies. And Taucion had had a fine voice; he had often sung along as they worked. 

The memories still hurt, a little. But they also reminded her - as had the afternoon - that she had the opportunity to make new memories. She could invite singers and musicians to her rooms, to spend the afternoon with the weavers.  

Pendes finished and bowed, and Linnea turned. Lavan was just coming in from her nightly circuit of Linnea's rooms, and she shifted to be able to look at them both.

“Is all ready for the morning?”

Lavan nodded. “Yes, my lady. We will arrive at the normal hour.”

The feast was set to begin at midday; her normal rising time would be ample to prepare. Her dress was hung carefully to air out, and really, there was little enough to do that was not part of her regular routine. 

She smiled at Lavan. “Very well. Then I bid you both goodnight.”

They bowed and left, and Linnea rose from the dressing table, slowly wandering back into the main room. It would be early to retire to bed, but perhaps it was a sound notion? The following day would be long and busy.

And the following night.

Her cheeks heated, as she settled herself by the fire, lacking anything else to do. She cast a glance to the side; she had her own kettle, and could have easily prepared tea for herself, but it was not the same any more. Evening tea was no longer solitary, it was a shared time, and the idea of drinking it alone seemed sad somehow.

There was a small stack of books on the hearthside table, and she glanced over them. She had been reading the works of Pengolodh, last of the Loremasters, in an effort to learn more about the history of the Noldor. But as captivating as the words were, having enough focus to read seemed the height of fancy.

Melethel.

That candle slowly lit in her heart, the one she'd become more used to feeling now. It was always there, banked and softly burning, but it came to life each time Ereinion reached out to her. She had an easier time hearing him than he did her as of yet, but that would come in time.

She smiled at the sound of his voice in her mind, settling back in her chair and closing her eyes. Meleth nín.

Was your afternoon enjoyable?

More than I had dared hope. She summoned a memory of Tinnaril and Disa together, experimenting with what Tinnaril had admitted was one of her own original compositions. It had been just the three of them at that point, Linnea at the loom, and it had gladdened her heart to see the differences between Elf and Dwarf put aside in the name of creating something beautiful. And she felt Ereinion’s happiness as he beheld it. And yours, aran vuin?

This time she felt him sigh; felt a touch of the weariness on him. As well as could be expected. Oropher is proud. He lost no opportunity to jab at Durin. I am grateful Elrond was there to mediate, otherwise I might have exiled them both from Lindon permanently.

Linnea laughed softly, her eyes still closed. I am sorry I was not there with you. 

You had your own work to do, my love. And by your account, you accomplished it admirably. There was a pause. I miss you. I cannot recall why we thought being apart tonight was a good idea, but I regret it now.

Do you think to tempt me to come to you? She chuckled again, letting him feel the warmth his words brought to her. We seem to have found a way around it, even so.

There was an answering chuckle, an answering warmth. I do not. I shall hold to our agreement. But perhaps…

There had been no specific images in her mind up till then, except for the memory of the prior afternoon. But a scent reached her nose, the scent of growing things and wildflowers, and there was a warmth all over her skin - as if she were outside in the sun. 

And finally, she could see it, fading in from the dark behind her eyes.

It was the field she’d taken him to, that afternoon after his training session. They were lying on the same blanket, in the same position; Ereinion’s head was in her lap, and her hand was gently stroking through his hair. 

“I think of this day so often,” he murmured. “How it was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.”

She smiled. The ósanwe had grown so strong; it was as if they were really there. She could hear the chirping of the birds and the buzz of the crickets. Ereinion's hair was like silk beneath her fingers, just as if she were really touching it.

“You had never laid in a field after a picnic before?”

She was teasing him, and he smiled up at her, reaching for her free hand and bringing it to his lips.

“I had never laid in a field with my wife,” he said softly. “I had never set my sword down after training, only to see my wife coming to me with a laden picnic basket. I had never felt so loved, melethel - until the next day, and the one after that, and the one after that. All the days since that very first, you have given me more love than the one before. I can only hope I do the same for you.”

She took their entwined hands and nestled them against his chest, right over his heart. “You need not wonder that for an instant,” she murmured. 

He sighed contentedly, closing his eyes, not speaking. She ran her fingers over the back of his hand, letting him enjoy the peace for a few moments before she spoke again.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

His lips curved. “More than I have ever been, for anything,” he said softly, eyes still closed. “I feel that I have prepared for this all my days. Even the night before my coronation, so long ago - I did not feel such. I had never expected to be High King. And it was a hurried affair, with war raging, and my chief concern was to have it done with.”

“I wish I could have been there,” she said, stroking her hand through his hair again.

“I do not.” His brow creased, remembering. “As much as I would have been glad of you, melethel. It was a hard time, and our people lost much. I would not have lost you as well.”

There was a catch in his voice. She had a guess as to its source, especially given the direction that their conversation had gone. His sister Finduilas, taken captive by orcs while he had still been a child during the Wars of Beleriand, and ultimately slain.

She squeezed the hand she held, and pushed out through the ósanwe, lighting her own candle in his heart to give him comfort.

“You never shall,” she whispered. “After tomorrow, we will never be parted, not truly.”

Her words brought the smile back to his lips, and he squeezed her hand back. “And you, melethel? Are you ready?”

In answer, she bent, pressing her lips to his. They might have been in a vision, in a place conjured by the ósanwe that was not real, but the kiss was no less warm nor loving for it. She felt him holding her hand tighter to his heart, returning her kiss, and nuzzling against her nose as she released his mouth.

“Yes,” she said simply. “I am.”

It was all she could say, and all that needed to be said. It drove the last of the long-ago shadows from his eyes, and he reached up, running his thumb over her cheekbone.  

“I am grateful for this time with you, but we should not remain here long,” he murmured. “It is not so taxing when we are so close. But I would not have you tire yourself tonight, not when tomorrow holds so much for us.”

She could feel it - just a slight drag inside her, a faint pull on her fëa. It was worth it, to have had even a few moments, and also worth it to know that this sort of an interlude was even possible. There might be times in the future when they would have to be apart, when this would be the only way they could be together.  

But it felt so good to be with him. This memory was precious to her too, and it was so calming, sitting here with her back against the tree. It soothed the restlessness she’d been feeling; after this, she could rest, and wake refreshed to everything that the next day would bring. 

“Let us stay a little longer,” she said softly, and was rewarded by his smile. “Just a little longer, meleth nín.”

TBC....

[kazzeyy]

I have just got to rant rn.

My entire friend group imploded because one of the girls (we’ll call her Kasey) decided that associating with “zionists” like me and my one other Jewish friend wasn’t sustainable (I assume).

The one “conversation” we had with her (that now has been framed as a “fight” somehow) was me and my friend so so gently and carefully and kindly pointing out via instagram that one of the dozens of propaganda things she was sharing in her stories was problematic, and explaining to her why. It’s actually pathetic how much we were trying not to hurt HER feelings and assure her we also don’t like bibi, etc (btw she is not Arab, Palestinian, Muslim, nada. She just decided to care deeply about this one thing post-10/7 and utilize her instagram to only share things about big bad Israel—she has never posted a single political thing before mind you).

She responded to our message in a wishy washy fashion and ofc didn’t offer to take down the offending post. Then WE thanked HER for listening to us and hearing us out. LMAO. My Jewish friend then messaged Kasey separately asking her in a heartbreaking way to please show some support for Jews—for her. Not Israel, not the war, just Jews. Kasey responded by saying “well a week ago i shared this post that mentioned Jews” and that her main priority was caring about the people in Gaza. Yeah.

From that point on my friend and I decided to be cordial with Kasey but not go out of our way to see her outside of when the larger group got together. Which I think is very forgiving of us. My Jewish friend even still extended Kasey the invite to come to her own home!! She ofc continued posting ridiculous shit to her instagram relentlessly, but at one point must have blocked us from her stories bc one of the other girls told us she had been posting things we weren’t seeing. Guess she couldn’t handle being challenged on her views.

Well anyway, soon enough Kasey decided to stop interacting in the group chat at all. I guess our presence in her life even digitally was too much for her! Despite the fact our only “conversation” was the single one on instagram that was extremely cordial and respectful on our end. So I can only guess why she didn’t want to associate with us Jews anymore���

A little while later I hung out with one of the other girls in the group—Cat. Cat is someone who has studied history in some ways and had been open about listening in the past. So I opened up to her about my frustration and anger about the rising antisemitism in the US, and the impossible situation I felt Israel was in with Hamas locating themselves in civilian areas, etc. I can’t tell you the amount of times I stressed how upsetting it was for me to see so many people dying and how heartbreaking it was. I theorized about day 2 and what it would take to de-radicalize Gaza, which would entail re-education, etc. (This is foreshadowing.)

And then one day I was doom scrolling as one does and saw a claim that some American professor was posting blatant terrorist support on his instagram page which I thought was outrageous as any sane person would. I went to his profile to see for myself, and sure enough it was true. Nothing that was iffy about it—this was straight praise for Hamas and the Houthis. And guess who was shown as a mutual follower of ours. Yep, Kasey.

So despite the fact that in hindsight Kasey stepped over the line way before that, this was truly the last straw for me. and I never understood what “seeing red” meant before then. But I blocked her that very moment without even thinking about it.

The group chat has continued to be completely dead and anyone close to Kasey have also made zero attempts to speak to me or my Jewish friend.

Fast forward to today…

and I learn that Cat has been telling at least one person that I told her that I think children in Gaza deserve to die.

Do I laugh or cry or scream??

I haven’t spoken to Cat in a hot minute, but considered her still a friend of sorts. Overall I of accepted I was no longer a part of the group (me and the other Jewish friend have been making a lovely Jewish girl gang for ourselves this past year so I don’t feel the loss), so tbh I’m not heartbroken about losing Cat as well since I’ve already divorced myself from that group as a whole—I’m more so flabbergasted.

Kasey was bad enough (I’m still very angry about it and will never forgive nor forget and will hold this grudge until the day I die btw), but this behavior from Cat is just something I cannot wrap my head around.

I never in a million years would have thought that an Israel Palestine issue would be what people used to demonize and character assassinate me, but here we are!!!!

[only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are]

Redwood Psychiatric Institute - Part 7

MASTERLIST - PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6

CWs: THIS IS A HEAVY ONE PLEASE READ THESE AND PROCEED WITH CAUTION - medical gaslighting, ECT mentions, disordered eating, forced NG tube (nasogastric) intubation, description of forced intubation, IV cannula, forced drugging

"I know you're lying to me." James ground out.

"James, you are ill. You are schizophrenic, and you have trouble telling reality from hallucination. I am your doctor, and I know what is best for you. And right now, what's best is for you to continue your treatments here."

"No, no, none of this is can be real, I'm - my name isn't James, it's- it's-" James stuttered. His hand trembled in the straight jacket he had been restrained in. "Why, why can't I remember?" His unruly dark hair obscured his wide eyes, pupils dilated from the medications.

"You're making things worse for yourself, James. Take a deep breath, and take some more medications. It'll make you feel much better." Doctor Wilson held out a wax paper cup filled with pills.

James shook his head as he backed into the padded wall of his room. "No, get them away from me. AWAY!" He began to scream, and realising he was trapped there rendered his flight instinct inert, he began to rock back and forth on his heels in a desperate attempt to soothe himself.

"James. Calm down. You are being dramatic. You need to take a deep breath."

James began to attempt to tear himself free from the straight jacket to no avail, letting out a frustrated animalistic cry.

"Why-"

"You can take a nice long nap and calm down." Doctor Wilson put the cup down, realising James wasn't going to let himself be soothed easily. The doctor instead pulled a hypodermic syringe out, and the boy began to scream.

"Can I have some assistance?" He called to the orderlies standing outside the cell. They rushed in, effortlessly pinning James to the floor. The orderlies pulled James' pants down to allow the Doctor access to his patient's bottom. Doctor Wilson swiftly jabbed the hypodermic into the muscle, earning him an indignant cry.

"No.. no.." James stuttered, as they pulled away from him. He attempted to pull himself to his feet, but tripped over himself, the drug already leaving him unsteady and out of it.

"Sh, my boy." Doctor Wilson soothed, helping his patient onto the bed. "You can rest now."

James eyelids, with his pupils blown wide, slowly drifted shut as he slumped over on the bed.

----

When James awoke, he decided to make a plan. He didn't trust Doctor Wilson anymore. There were gaps in his memory, and things that just didn't make sense.

And he was sure that his name wasn't really James - but what was it then?

He started by figuring out how to stop his meds. The nurses would check that he had taken them. He started crushing one or two in the side of his jaw, and swallowing the rest. The crushed pills were small enough that they weren't super noticeable, and as long as the nurses didn't see whole pills leftover. Once they left, he'd spit out the crushed tablets. Eliminating one or two of the medications certainly help to clear up his fatigue and drowsiness, but he had other symptoms instead - headaches, fevers, sore eyes. He just had to deal with it. He needed to stop the medication more.

Then, he stopped eating. Just in case the food was also drugged. But he also did it as a protest. He wanted to show Doctor Wilson that he was still in control. It started with a sausage here, some oatmeal there. He would just cut down gradually, and one one would notice until it was too late.

----

"For the last time James, eat up." The orderly, Dan, sighed as the boy pushed his tray away from him.

"'Mm not hungry." James muttered.

"You're being stubborn. You haven't eaten in 4 days. Eat up, or I'll have no choice but to call Doctor Wilson."

James didn't look up. "Don't care."

"Fine. I give up." The orderly picked up the walkie talkie hanging from his white scrubs. "Doctor Wilson, James is refusing to eat again and he's refusing meds."

"Take him to Treatment Room 2. I'll meet you there." The Doctor commanded.

The burly orderly bent down and scooped up James in one arm.

"Dan, please, please don't do this!" James began to sob.

He screamed and kicked, but he was a fairly scrawny young man, and with the lack of food, he was no match for the orderly, who dragged him down the hall with ease.

"Here." The orderly tapped his keycard on the door reader, and pushed the door open, revealing an exam table reminiscent of a dentist's chair. He place James onto the table, and began to strap him using the standard medical restraints, straps at his forehead, wrists, chest, hips, legs and ankles.

"Let me go!!" James screamed, fighting against the restraints with all the strength he had left. "You can't do this!!"

"I'm sorry buddy. It's for your own good." The orderly patted his forehead.

Doctor Wilson stepped into the room and locked eyes with James. Dan immediately backed away, planting himself in the corner of the room.

To the doctor, Jamess looked absolutely feral, his eyes red raw from crying and sleep deprivation, his hair greasy and unkempt, and his frame thin and wiry.

"Oh James, I was so hoping it wouldn't come to this." Doctor Wilson tutted, as he walked up the exam chair. He tilted James' chin, examining the boy's face closer. "You're sneaking off your meds, too." He said - a statement, not a question. "You had been doing so well.. All that progress we've achieved. Gone."

Doctor Wilson sighed, then nodded to the orderly, who began to set up a cart with medical tools and devices. Both men snapped on nitrile gloves and then pulled on medical masks.

"What are you doing?" James asked in a high-pitched tone, clearly frightened.

"Getting you back to health, my boy." Doctor Wilson smiled sadly behind the mask. "Clearly you can't be trusted to do the right thing for yourself."

Dan unpackaged a sterile butterfly needle, which he passed to the Doctor. The orderly wiped down James' elbow with an alcohol wipe, then tied a rubber band above the area. Doctor Wilson brought the needle to James' vein, and the boy whimpered.

"Relax James, you're in good hands." Doctor Wilson hushed, before sliding the needle into the vein.

It smarted, and James winced, looking away as a drop of blood bubbled up from the wound. The Doctor removed the needle and replaced it with tubing, setting up an IV which he hooked to a bag of solution on a stand. James looked to the bag as the solution began to drip through the tubing into his vein.

"What's in there?" He asked weakly.

The Doctor ignored him, and instead began to pull more tubing out from packaging. He held it up and measured it in front of James' face, who squirmed uncomfortably against the strap across his forehead. The Doctor then covered the tip in some kind of gel, held the tube under James' left nostril, and before he could react, the tube was being shoved up his nostril.

Shocked, James began to try to wrest his head away, but the restraints held tight, even as the tube slid further and further up his nose, down the back of his throat, and further, further down. James couldn't help but cough and gag on the tubing, the foreign sensation awfully unwelcome in his system. Even when he thought it couldn't possibly go any further, it did. Finally, finally, it was over. He drew in choked, panicked breaths through his mouth as his body was wracked with silent gasping sobs.

"All done." Doctor Wilson said, his voice void of any care or emotion for his patient. The orderly stepped up and helped the doctor tape the other end of the tube against James' cheek, then attached the tubing to a container sitting on the IV pole, which was filled with an odd liquid. Before long, the liquid began to trickle through the tube and down his nostril. He shuddered at the horrible sensation of the cold liquid sliding down the tube, straight into his stomach.

Doctor Wilson then adjusted the settings on the IV. "Get some sleep. You'll need it."

The Doctor left. Dan stayed for a moment, making sure the Doctor was out of sight before he bent down to whisper in James' ear. "I'm sorry it had to come to that. But you left me with no choice.." He wiped a tear from James' cheek. "Get your rest while you can."

Dan stood, and with a sad sigh, shut the door behind him as he left the room.

James was left in silence. He stared up at the cieling, the odd tear slipping down his cheek, James felt his head becoming cloudy. His limbs felt light, as though they weren't tethered to his body anymore. He was floating. His eyelids however, were heavy as lead. The longer he stared, the harder it was to stay awake, and before long, his consciousness faded and he slipped into darkness.

Taglist:

@jazatronasmr @onthishamsterwheel @bumpthumpwhump @bloodsweatandpotato @whatiswhump @jancameforthewhump @dream-whump @ratking-whump @inkstainsonmyhands12 @halsteadshaw13 @sparrowsage @sowhumpful @whatwhumpcomments @caspersdelusion @everythingsscary

[eybefioro]

Forgive me, Father

Rated T, ~5,6k words, - 1/2 chapters

Chapter 1 - A shoe box

Summary:

Aziraphale lost almost everything in the bookshop fire. In the remains of his his life, he finds an old shoe box, and inside it the letters – and memories – he had buried for so long. While putting his life together again with the support of his friends, he relives his days as Father Fell and all the hurt and joy of having had Father Crowley by his side. A human AU, where Aziraphale and Crowley were priests in the same church. Inspired by this tumblr post <3

Excerpt:

All that was left from his life, everything he had been able to rebuild fitted in a handful of boxes and two suitcases. He didn't even want to think about the books, or what was left of them. But now he would have to. It was already time. He had to start all over. Again. [...] One last box. A shoe box he hadn't allowed himself to think about in so long. One he had buried under his bed and forgotten. Why, of everything that could've survived, was this the one thing to be unscathed? In his efforts to hide his past even from himself, he had secured what he wanted to not exist from meeting its end. The box of unsent letters was heavy in his hands. They weighted years, weighted all the guilt. With trembling fingers, he opened one.

Read it on Ao3! 💛

Again special thanks to @captainblou and @itsscottiesstark, for the beta & support <3 <3

tagging: @shadesofecclescakes @cobragardens @lolalu16 @sabotage-on-mercury thank you for your interest <3 It really hyped me up to finish writing it! Hope you enjoy.

(also hello @goodomensafterdark 👀 it's not a smutty one but i think yall might like it)

[babychavez]

Lucky

You had just gotten back into L.A from being gone to Miami on a press run for your new show. You were of course traveling along with your co-Star Nicholas Alexander Chavez. You guys had grown close over the last few months while shooting and also doing press runs together. Well as time has drug on you two had kinda started to see each other but it was nothing official of course.

"I'm so ready to be home and take a nice long hot bath." You groaned out as you slide your sunglasses over your puffy tired eyes.

"My place is closer why don't you just come stay with me tonight and get some rest." Nicholas suggested as he pulled the driver door shut and started the car.

"No. I know you're tired and need some space. I mean goodness you have been stuck with me on the road for what seems like forever now. Just drop me at my hotel and it'll be fine." You said waving off the idea of his.

Nic looked over at you and raised an eyebrow at the command you had just given him. "Really? Now you wanna act like you wanna be in a hotel room all alone?"

You rolled your eyes at Nic, "oh don't even start that crap with me. You know you're tired of me and ready to be away from me for a bit." You remarked back at him in a super bratty way. Nic looked your way with a mischievous smirk on his  face.

"I very much can assure you that I never get tired of being around you. Even if you are in one of your sassy moods, now come here and give me a kiss." Nic exclaimed as he leaned over the center console that was between you two and pushed his lips together waiting for you to meet him the rest of the way. You smiled and shook your head as you pushed yourself up from your seat and leaned forward to make your lips connect with his.

Your heart fluttered when you felt him smile against your lips as you both broke the kiss. "Let's get out of here now." Nic started the car and took off down the road. You watched out the window at the familiar storefronts passing by all the hustle and bustle of people and cars on the streets. You could feel your eyelids get heavy with each street block you passed. You finally saw the road that would lead you on to the freeway and carry you and nic back to his place.

"Take a nap baby, it's gonna be a bit because of the traffic right now. Don't worry I'll keep you safe." Nic told you as he merged on to the highway. You looked at nic and gave him a sleepy smile, as to be telling him okay. Nic reached over and grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. You leaned your head back and slowly drifted off to sleep, knowing you were safe and in the best company.

"Baby we're here." You heard a soft voice say. You opened your eyes and saw the inside of the car illuminated by dim light. You pushed your sunglasses off your eyes and to your surprise the sunny sky that you had fallen asleep to was now dark and starry.

"What in the world is going on?" You asked while rubbing the sleep out of the corners of your eyes. You looked out the front windshield and saw no familiar sights, instead you saw a tall white house that was covered by greenery and 2 tall windows that made it look as if the house had 2 glowing eyes.

"Surprise babe." Nic exclaimed as he opened up the passenger door and extended his hand for you to take as you climbed out the door. You looked up and all the stars were bright on shining and twinkling above. You felt a nice almost cool breeze graze your face and you grabbed ahold of Nic's hand and placed your feet on the ground.

"Where are we Nicholas?" You asked as Nic pulled you away from the car and smiled widely at you. You were caught off guard and shocked to say the less because you never would have never guessed he could pull something like this by you.

"Well we have a few days off from work and meetings and traveling so I thought what a better way to spend it, than a little mini us vacation. Away from the noise of the city, people and most of all anyone knowing where we are. It's just me and you." Explained Nic as he embraced you from behind and laid a soft kiss on the side of your head.

"Aww. When did you plan all of this?" You asked him still shocked by the surprise of it all. Nic smiled and took ahold of your hand as he lead you to the front door of the house.

"Stop asking so many questions and just enjoy yourself and this time away we have. Baby sometimes living in the moment is the best way to live. We don't always have to know all the ins and outs of how something came to be. Just go with your feelings." Said Nic with a soft chuckle as he pulled out his phone and looked at something in it. He then punched a code into the lock on the double doors, he pushed open the doors.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing the lights were dim and candles were lite on top of the island in the kitchen with a lovely spread of finger foods and a chilled bottle of champagne in a metal bucket.

"Nic! This place is beautiful!" You exclaimed as you walked into the house and continued looking around.

"Yeah it came out even better than I had imagined it would." Nic exclaimed as he walked over to the island and popped open the bottle of champagne and poured you each a glass. "I knew I wanted to do something special for you since we have been so busy lately."

"Well this is perfect and you did an excellent job." You smiled and praised Nic as you raised your glass toward him. Nic smiled as he clicked his glass to mine and then we both took a drink. You started around the corner of the island to admire the food laid out in front of you when you noticed red petals on the floor. "Uh Nic what are these for?"

Nic was taking another drink out of his glass when he looked down and noticed the petals as well. "Oh yeah! Come here come here!" He exclaimed full of excitement as he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you behind him toward an open set of French doors.

Once out the doors you saw the sand and heard the waves hitting the beach. You could smell the scent of the ocean in the air and also the faint scent of floral. You looked down and saw more petals laying on the back porch they lead the way down the stairs and across the sand toward what looked to be a hammock on 2 post near the edge of the ocean and a soft glow from 2 lit tiki torches.

"Wanna go with me?" Nic asked as he was already pulling you in that direction down the stairs. You smiled and followed along behind him. But Nic didn't stop at the hammock he pulled you out into the water with him. The waves hit the both of you, soaking your clothes, you let out a giggle as you caught eyes with Nic who was smiling ear to ear. Nic grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him. You looked into his eyes and cupped his cheeks in your hands before you pushed your lips to his.

There you 2 were in the middle of the ocean at night holding each other as the waves crashed into the both of you, you two could care less because you were both lost in each other. You felt a warmth travel across your lower back and then slowly up your sides, it was Nic’s hands raises the soaking wet shirt off your body. You broke apart from each others lips as Nic gave your shirt one last tug over your head and tossed it on to shore.

You returned the favor by taking his shirt off and revealed his toned smooth chest, you both were standing there captivated by the moment and the look in each others eyes. Nicholas grabbed you by the waist and pulled you back into him, he held you so gently and yet tightly as never wanting to let you go. You laid your head on his chest and heard the beat of his heart quicken. You gently swayed back and fourth together in the water being held by Nic made it seem like nothing could ever top this moment. You felt Nic rest his chin on the top of your head but just as you settled he pulled back and looked down at you.

“I’ve had something on my mind for awhile now.” Nicholas said softly as he took your cheek into the palm of his hand and pulled your gaze up to his brown sweet eyes.

“Oh yeah what is it?” You asked slightly nervous.

“I never knew someone like you existed until the day you came in the doorway for our 1st table read. The moment I saw you I knew I wanted you. Then as this time has continued on between us, I feel like I’ve known you forever and that I can be myself with you. I feel like I’m here just for you. No one else.” Nicholas groveled as he ran his thumb across your cheek.

You could feel the redness bubbling up on your cheeks, no one has ever made you feel so special and made you so happy as Nic had. “I have never felt this way about someone Nic. I’m so lucky I met you.

Nic’s eyes twinkled and before you knew it, you were swept off your feet and Nicholas crashed his lips back into yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your tongues fought for space in each others mouth.

Nic carried you out of the water and laid you down in the big hammock. You grasped at the top of his pants trying to get them off. But just as you hooked your fingers into the waist of them he pulled away and instead pulled your shorts down and panties all in one swift motion. He tossed them down and then began to pull his pants down himself, you watched as he unleashed his hard cock.

He gave you an almost evil smirk as he pulled you to the edge of the hammock. He teased your wet slit by rubbing the tip of his cock up and down your clit, he smacked your pussy with his cock before thrusting it deep in you.

His cock could be felt in your stomach and made you gasp as you adjusted to it. Nic looked down at you and admired the way you were taking him, he began to slowly move his hips back and forth. You winced as he pushed himself back in each time.

“That’s a good girl. Taking this dick and letting me know how much you’re enjoying it.” Nic said as he bite his bottom lip and tossed his head back and let out a moan into the night sky.

You could tell his pace was increasing and you could feel yourself tightening around his cock with each stroke and the warmth was growing in your stomach. You let your head fall back and enjoyed the noises that were coming from Nic’s mouth, you pulled Nic down closer to your body and intertwined your fingers in his soft brown locks.

You heard the clapping of skin echoing out, Nic popped his head back up so you both made eye contact as he rocked his hips into you harder and harder.

“Ohhhh fuck yes! Fuck me Nic!” You yelled out at him. He pushed himself back up to where he could lay his forehead on yours, your eyes were locked. You could feel the sweat between both of you making you glide easily against each other. You couldn’t hold it back anymore and you let yourself go and got lost in the sweet orgasm as it would overcame your whole body.

“Take this cum baby!” Nic grunted just as he spilled inside of you. You both locked lips as let the moment be.

You laid on Nic chest as he kicked his foot making the hammock swing back and fourth, you both laid there listening to the ocean. Nic was relaxed and happy, he had his eyes closed and a smile on his lips. You and Nic’s fingers were laced with in each others and laid across Nic’s chest, he would wiggle his fingers every now and then to see if you’d response with some form of movement back.

“Thank you so much for planning this, I think this is just what we need.” You exclaimed laying a soft kiss on Nic’s warm skin.

“You deserve this babe. You haven worked your butt off the past few months and you deserve some peace and rest and most of all love.” You were taken back by the last word Nicholas had just spoken. He had never used that word till now toward you. You pop your head off his chest and peered up at him. His eyes were still closed but now the small smile had been replaced with a huge teeth baring smile.

“What did you say?” You questioned him. Nicholas let out a small chuckle and raised his head up to meet your stare.

“You heard me. You deserve to have love and be loved. I love you.” Nic spoke once again. You were overwhelmed by the words but most of all thankful because the feelings he had for you matches up with the ones you had for him.

“I love you too Nicholas.” You exclaimed as you laid a huge kiss on Nic’s lips. You cuddles back into Nic’s chest and closed your eyes and soaked up all of the emotions floating in the air between you two.

You had just opened a new adventure in life and it was very exciting to be venturing into the unknown future with a man as great as Nic. You could feel yourself drifting off with each swing of the hammock, back and forth and back and forth.

“I love you baby girl.” Nic whispered into the wind just as you drifted off to sleep.

[nevertheless-moving]

MDZS AU #7: Jiang Wanyin’s Dog

Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying time travel back to the Wen Indoctrination camp.

They didn't ask for this. Wei Wuxian's Happy Ending is gone. Jin Ling's Whole Life is Gone. But no time to unpack any of that, they fight the Xuanwu of Slaughter the day after tomorrow. They have to get on the same page. Their family is alive again. They have to get this right.

Last time around, Wei Ying created distance between his actions and Jiang Cheng’s orders.

(Partially in order to excuse his shidi from blame when he did something grotesque or anti-establishment or unsuccessful. Partially to obscure which orders he physically couldn't follow. Partially because his mental health was truly, exceptionally bad — he distanced himself from lots of things!)

It could be argued that this strategy didn’t pan out super well, in the end. Not a very fun conclusion.

And the reasons for that distance don't exist anymore considering 1) Jiang Sect is un-massacred and can properly throw their weight around to shield their terrifying unorthodox disciple from backlash when he does terrifying unorthodox things. 2) Wei Ying doesn’t have a golden core shaped secret to hide from Jiang Cheng. Wei Ying has less secrets from Jiang Cheng then he’s ever had.

(Mental health could be better, but it also could be a lot worse)

So they come up with a different plan, whispering furiously under Wen guard, bedrolls pressed close together, cheeks still holding a little babyfat.

Wei Wuxian will be the perfect servant in public, obeying his gongzi’s orders without question. In exchange Jiang Wanyin won’t order him to do anything he wouldn’t want to do anyway. Wei Wuxian will still get to do all his stupid heroics — he just has to wait for the go ahead, to provide the undeniable impression of perfect unity. Jiang Wanyin will give that go ahead, even if it has to be through gritted teeth.

Bear with me now: this leads to a gradual yungmeng bros reconciliation. Basically the emotional equivalent of tensing a muscles as hard as you can on purpose so that when you relax it, the background strain also releases a bit.

To start — Wei Wuxian is the new core melting hand, except even scarier.

Did you hear he summoned an ARMY of the damned to protect Lotus Pier?? And that the only one who he listens to is Jiang Wanyin? Apparently Jiang Wanyin confronted Wen Chao over using human sacrifices, and when Wen Chao threatened him, Jiang Wanyin gave the word and Wei Wuxian killed a hundred Wen AND the Xuanwu of Slaughter!!! Did you hear he ripped Wen Zhuliu heart out of his chest?? What a terrfying head disciple! How long has Jiang sect been hiding this??

The two really, really have to work together, very consistently, without hiccups, and as much practice as they have fighting this specific war together, they also have hella baggage and different priorities and Wei Ying is NOT keeping up the Super Serious Servant act in private.

(they can’t speed run, alright? Wen Chao's early death and the Jiang Sect surviving pretty fundamentally alter following events, rendering specific future knowledge less useful. Not to mention, it takes time for Wei Wuxian to figure out how to balance his golden core with massive amounts of resentful energy. He's got qi to deviate, and there's a good few months where they're fairly sure he's driving himself into an even faster grave than his first life. I mean he figures it out, he's a fucking genius. But early on there's a non zero amount of bleeding from the eyes and running into bushes to puke blood while Jiang Cheng pretends that he's only stressed about this for purely pragmatic reasons.)

So daily private meetings to debrief and strategize and yell at each other and maybe horse around a little. It's the only time they get to step back from the terrifying teenage war leaders thing and be a more raw, complex version of themselves. Getting back in sync after everything. Maybe getting in sync for the first time — how much of their childhood were they dancing around issues of worth and place? How many of their worst arguments stemmed from one giant secret?

Jiang Cheng making progress on his Wuxian shaped self-esteem issues largely by faking it-till-he-makes it.

“You think I feel embarrassed to be second best to my own disciple. What, are you fucking stupid?? How do you compare to him, huh? He’s going to ascend to be a death god or some shit like that. It’s a ridiculous comparison — I’d like to see how you would have done, growing up his shidi. Grow up and fuck off.”

Say stuff like that enough times and you might… actually start to believe it. Huh.

Both of them somewhat expecting cocky, mouthy Wei Wuxian to bristle more about the subservience thing, but honestly? It's cool.

For years, supporting Jiang Cheng was the only thing Wei Ying truly wanted. Yes, he wants other things now too, but Wei Ying still wants to follow Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng is good at politics, at leadership. He rebuilt his sect back to greatness from the ground up. Wei Wuxian's 'leading a sect' experience culminated in being feared by the world and slowly starving to death on an all radish diet. (yes, obviously, there were extenuating circumstances, but regardless — I don't think leading anything larger than a night hunt is on Wei Ying's to do list).

Jiang Cheng expecting criticism in private and not getting it. Waiting all day to be torn apart for his fuckups by an unfiltered Wei Wuxian, only to instead be praised for his battlefield calls and handling of difficult negotiations.

He was a sect leader for two decades— his stupid shixiong's approval should not be able to affect him like this.

The thing is, Wei Wuxian's got effective free reign on his areas of interest — protecting people he wants to protect, inventing, and fighting people he wants to fight. Wei Wuxian has bountiful self esteem. It's annoying to not say whatever he wants whenever he wants, to bow that low, to mind his titles, to walk five steps behind, but it doesn't actually make him feel bad.

Once they’re eating A-Li’s soup … and it sinks in that their parents, their sect, their sister is alive… and they're drunk crying together... and they really really really did miss this, having someone who got their jokes, who could distinguish between their mock outrage and real fury…

Reconciliation starts completely in private but frankly enough time of Wei Wuxian Perfect Discipleing in public? Jiang Cheng is like… ok I thought I wanted this... but its actually not my kink. Please push back when the Jin start talking shit. I’m so, so tired. I've been tired longer than you've been alive. I don't want to reserve all my amusement for hidden moments any more.

Almost seamless public facing transition from ‘rabid dog on a short chain’ swinging to ‘my good right hand.’ Wei Wuxian gets to start being a little shit again in public, but he reigns it in quickly at Jiang Cheng's signal, and teasing A-Cheng stays private. Honestly — a boundary that might have helped them a lot in their first life!

As a result of gaslighting people that however they act that day is how they've always acted, most people are left with the general impression of Wei Wuxian as ‘trusted loyal hound,' who also happens to be absolutely fucking terrifying. Which. Isn’t exactly wrong so, fuck it, fine. Wei Ying honestly could not give less fucks about 99.9% of people’s opinions.

...Lan Zhan is living a dark romance novel, but that's a different post.

My MDZS AU Masterlist

[chubs-deuce]

I made the "mistake" of replaying portal 2 again as well as some of co-op and with a refresher of the visual storytelling clues suddenly the lore sprinkles in the upcoming chapter of my fic don'no longer align as neatly with canon as I thought they did

pacing back and forth in my living room with an air of "noir detective pondering a cold case with botched evidence" but it's actually me trying to figure out the whole "Enrichment Center" thing in the context of the lore crumbs we have of the corporate side of Aperture Science

Gonna throw my stream of consciousness style thoughts under a cut bc I feel like I'll go insane if I don't speak about it

like is it a specific place? Is it just a misleading name they gave their general testing facilities overall?

If the latter, were they always callled that or did Aperture intentionally rename them to that when they started pushing employees into testing to mislead and hide their endless crimes against human rights and safety regulations?

It could be that the "Enrichment Center" is just the entirety of what they built on top of the salt mines, but since the latter had "enrichment spheres" already I kinda doubt that

Plus Cave's last recorded messages are right underneath the new architecture and the offices there are littered with "robots will replace you :) better sign up for enrichment!" types of propaganda posters and Cave himself also said that they started making testing mandatory for employees by this point, so the "enrichment center" technically already existed?

But just bc his last recordings are down there doesn't mean that all the newer stuff was built after he died - in the "bring your daughter to work day" exhibit (WHICH IS ITS OWN WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS) for example, Chell's project implies Cave was alive during this exhibit, yet it's also just there completely abandoned in the newer facility areas and Wheatley commented that "that one did not end well" - so there's an implication that it got interrupted by GLaDOS' attack? Maybe???

BUT GLADOS AS WE KNOW HER WAS ALSO NOT CREATED UNTIL AFTER CAVE DIED, WHICH CHELL'S PROJECT DIRECTLY DISPROVES TIMELINE WISE??? SDFKJHDSFKJSDHKJHDSFKHDSFKJDh

So that begs the question of why it was just abandoned there then if not bc of some kind of incident they couldn't return from to clean up??

Also since Chell was a child during that one and an adult while we play as her in the games it makes me wonder just how fucking long that particular exhibit has just been sitting there and catching dust while Aperture's other business continued as usual until GLaDOS' final attack erased all human life in the facility that wasn't safely packaged away in cryo-storage

kdfösdlfkjgsdlöfjkg AUGH!!